The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1898-03-09
AUMOR OF THE DAY.

'On, MI LlgntneaI, TINS ~ so sud-
den"-Staudard
He-"You look sweet enough to
kiss, in that dress. She-"My
dressmaker told me she didn't think
I'd be disappointed in it. Puck.
No, do not borrow trouble
'Tis folly without end:
Why should you sorrow double,
When you have Woo to lend?
Chicago Record
"Aunt Emeliue, what is being well
balanced?" "Well balanced? Well,
it is having sense enough to make
more friends than enemie Detroit
Free Press
Mistress Mary, didn't you hear
the door bell ring?" Maid---"Y Yes'm;
but it's probably somebody wants to
see you. My company always calls at
the back door boston Transcript.
The Lady-"Can you match this
piece of ribbon?" The Gent -"No,
lady. You may remember that it was
one of the matchless bargains we ran
last Monday indianapolis Journal.
Nurse Girl--'T lost sight of the
child, mum, and -" Mother Good
graciousl Why didn't you speak to Il
policeman" Nurse Girl Il wus
speaking TO wun all the tonne, num-"
--Tit-Bits.
"Alas," sighed the oyster, as he
felt himself being conveyed from the
plate on the end of the table knife,
"alasl this is an end to all my hopes
of getting into good society. Indi-
annapolis journal.
Mr.. Wiggles -"The true facts of
the case were that" Mrs. Wiggles
Observation-Disclosures did you ever
know any facts that weren't true?"
And she never heard the rest of that
story.-Somerville Journal
"You ought TO have your ears
boxed" said Miss Sharpleigh to Il
young freshman, who had just stolen
kiss. "Well," he asked, "why
don't you do it?" 'Twould," she re-
piled, "if had box large enough"
Chicago News.
"Tm all in the dark about how
these bills are to be paid, said Mr..
Hardup to his wife. "Well, Henry"
said she, as she pulled out ayellow
one, and laid it on top of the pile.
"you will be if you don 'tpay that one,
for that's the gas bill. Standard
Mrs. skinner" -"Oh, but / wish |
was man. n" Mr.. Skinner--"W why,
so, my dear?" Mrs Skinner-"I
was just thinking to-day il was only
mau, how happy | could make my
wife by giving her diamond neck
lace for birthday present. Chicago
News.
Brokelcigh don't like that fell
low Keene. He's too shrewd." " Stake
leigh-"What makes you think SOP"
Brokeloigh We'll, | went to his
house last night to borrow so, and he
offered to lend me dollar before
had a chance to ask him for the ten.
brooklyn Life.
She (gushingly)- There are days
when we seem more in unison with
Nature than at other times, when our
hearts seem 10 beat in accord with the
sublime harmony of the universe.
Have you ever noticed it?' He-'ln.
deed | have II is always that way
with me ON payday. - Tit-Bits.
"You here again?" said the man of
the house. There's no excuse for
such fellows as you This is year
OF prosperity. Eyes, sir, humbly
responded Tuiold Knutt, drawing the
back of his hand across his nose, but
I'm one O. these fellers that can't
stand prosperity. Chicago Tribune.
81 would go with you to the end of
the earth, he asserted passionately.
"Not with me, you wouldn't, " she re-
piled, coldly. "Why not?' he de-
manded. "For two reasons, she an
swered. cone Is that I'm not going,
aud the other is that there isn't any.
Whom one meets the prosaic new
woman one has to be careful what he
says. Chicago Post.