The Winslow mail., 1898-02-12
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IluS as d jury W dy CAO AdSIS anu dS q
judge to expound the law. AS jury
am unable to agree upon a verdict
on the facts, and therefore as judge
order a mistrial."
Old Job was taught to read by the
minister's wife, and proved very apt
scholar. Returning home after a pro
longed absence, the lady met her old
pupil, and asked him how he was get
ting on. 81 suppose you can read your
Bible now comfortably, job? "Lor'
bless you, ma'am" cried Job, "Tve
been out of the Bible and into the
newspaper this long ile."-House-
hold Words.
The Emporia (Kan.) Gazette says
this is the way in which D. o: McCray
secured an appointment at the hands
of Gov. Leedy. They were talking over
the school commissioners when Mr..
McCray said: Governor, if 1 were you
I'd appoint for the Republican mem
bers Of that commission the two orner
lest, meanest, stinkingest Republicans
could find" What are your initials,
Mr.. McCray?" asked the Governor.
Once when he was asked if be was
ont afraid of temperature of ten de-
grees below zero the late Tolman VIII
ley, of Boston, said: where L was
born, sir, my father. one Sunday took
me into a meeting house which sat on
four stone posts with no other under
/ pinning. l sat in that church and
listened to a sermon on hell for sixty
minutes, with the wind bowling under
meath the church and blowing forty
miles minute, with no fire in the
stove and the mercury forty degrees
below zero. Do you think 1 was born
in sugar-box and nursed ON hello
tropes ?'-New York Tribune.
The late DR.. Wilberforce, Bishop Of
Winchester, was keen sportsman,
and on one occasion, when he was on
visit at ducal seat, he was persuaded
to Join a shooting party. His grace's
head keeper was q Scotchman and
Presbyterian, and the bishop tried to
engage him in a friendly chat, but, find
ing the keepers replies were short and
reserved, he said: Il suppose, Grant,
you think bishop ought not to go out
shooting?" "Weel, my lord" said the
Scot frankly, 81 doubt yell find no
warrant for it in the Screeptur. Did
ye ever read of the apostles going out
shooting" "No, true" replied the
bishop. ''They had no game in Pales-
tine in those days; they went out fish
ing instead"
During Senator "Billy" Mason's
/ Fourth Of July grafton at Binghamton
he worked in this: Nov, want to say
to you American wives: Give your hus-
band the liberty he is entitled to. Don't
expect him to mail a letter. He can
not do it. l know; have tried it, and,
what is more, ne cannot tell the truth
about it after he has carried it for two
weeks in his pocket and finds it sud
denly. 1t Is just as hard for him to tell
the truth about the weight of fish
which he is presumed to have caught.
1t is not normal infirmity, but ply
steal defect. Don't mind If he does
brag about his mothers cooking; you
know very we'll you can beat his moth
er; and If he brags on his mother it
is very good sign your boys will brag
about you, and l hope you will not be
like the young widow who rode by the
cemetery out in my country. The min
lister was seeking to console her of the
comforts of her religious faith and the
consolation thereof. Yes she says, 1
have another great consolation, too;
know where he is nights"
Many a good story comes from the
green room. Here Is one told by the
New York Telegram: Harry Watson
and his wife, who is known on the
/ stage as Miss Hutchings, have a son
who cast a vote or two for President,
/ and nothing delights Watson so much
as the discontinue of the Johnny ad-
/ mirers Of his wife when they learn this
fact. Not long ago, SO the story goes,
Watson and his strapping son dropped
into Broadway hotel, and while wait
ing for service were accosted by an ac-
quaintance, who introduced his COM
/ panion, young man of about Wat
son, Jr.'s, age L enjoy your turn very
much, Mr.. Watson, observed the
young man, and, say, that is lovely
girl that works with you Amt she,
thought said Watson pater. She is,
indeed; won't you introduce meT Well,
now, you know, 1 don't know whether
she'd like me to- was the response; she
might think l was fresh, you know.
But 1 tell you what I'll do; I'll have
my son introduce her. Your son? Does
he know her? Pretty well,' drawled
Watson. She's his mother
"Indescrlbably funny things happen
sometimes in places where no one
would ever expect them to occur" said
Representative r. l.. Henry, Of Texas.
'I remember once a scene in our State
Legislature which for downright ludi-
crousness beats anything that ever
came under my observation. A member
from one of the city constituencies who
enjoyed a big reputation at the bar
had vainly been endeavOring for about
half an hour to get recognition from
the Speaker. He had been on his feet
fifty different times. shouting Mr..
Speaker! at the top of his voice, but
the official seemed bent on not recog-
nizing him. Finally, worn out by the
members importantly, the Speaker at
last said, The gentleman from San An
tonio,' and the gentleman from San
Antonio started in to deliver a speech.
Then a curious thing happened The