davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1898-11-27

Copso Coburg sat down before the
glowing fire and said to himself:
Her fourth husband is now dead,
and If | am ever going to marry her,
now is my time. I will go straight to
her and tell her of my love"
And he went forth into the wild
storm and in due time reached the res
idence Of the widow Jenners. When he
asked if she was in, the servant replied
that she might possibly be out playing
golf, but would see about it, and FIVE
minutes later our hero was ushered
into the presence of the only woman
he had ever loved. He did not give her
time to ask if he had lost his dog or
was looking for house to rent, but
falling on his knees at her feet, he
said:
Annette, / have loved you for thirty
eight long years"
''The deuce!" she exclaimed, as she
drew in her breath and turned pale.
"And l want you to be my wife," con-
tinued Henry.
But l can't" she replied 81 be-
came engaged to Raymond Redmond
only fifteen minutes ago. He is to be
No 81
Break with him!" cried the lover in
tones of wild despair
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1898-11-27
A DANGEROUS EXPERIMENT.

Jep Jones Tells How tho Bass Drum Wa.
introduced to Squan Creek.
Squan Creek had settled down to en-.
joy period of peace and prosperity
when Salathiel Green returned from &
visit to Philadelphia. 1t wasn't that
Salathiels absence Or home coming
made any particular difference as fal
as he was personally concerned, but
something he brought with him came
very near causing revolution
throughout Eastern New Jersey. The
object was bass drum. Salathiel had
attended an auction and bid it in with
the idea that Squan Creek might be in
duced to go ahead and organize brass
band. When he reached town he
strung that drum around his neck and
went marching up and down and
across lots, and he not only felt that
Z he was the biggest man for forty
miles around, but dozens of people told
him so. 1t was the first bass drum
ever seen in Squan Creek, and it ex-
cited far more interest than Joe. Hen
rvs One-eyed shark or Tom Parkers
lobster with nine claws. Salathiel got
home at six o'clock in the evening, but
it was two O'Clock next morning before
that drum ceased to echo through the
town. The beating began again soon
after daybreak, and was kept up until
three o'clock in the afternoon, at which
hour public meeting had been called
to see about organizing a band. The
meeting opened with Judge Taylor in
the chair. The judge was enthusiastic
for brass band. He said we had the
biggest fish, the latest oysters, the
largest crabs and the most gigantic
liars on the face of the earth. but
there was one thing lacking to put us
on a plane with New York, Boston or
Chicago We had no brass band He
wasn't a rich man. but he had public
spirit, and they could put him down for
SIS. Not only that, but he would be-
come member of the band and beat
time on the big drum.
The judge was followed by the post
who said he was lame in the
left leg and rather deaf in both ears,
but his motto was Scuan Creek first
and last and all the time. He'd give
five dollars and beat the drum. The
mayor of the village offered to give 81
and beat the drum, and he was follow
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1898-11-27

Tas tryin to tell him dat you was !
nustier from Hustlersville, and could
Keep dat saw G-hot all day long, and
SO u was bad fur you. I've got Jest a
word to say to you. De next time you
come up we're you will find Brudder
riVeaoam Jones waitin' on de stairs.
You jest enquire of him il de perspic-
au.Iy o. de resolution has absorbed de
climax OF de catastrophe, and he will
oesin de work of rakin' you feel
weary. II you don't drap back on plain
sngiish befo' you strike de bottom step
0e brndder Jones viii git fined SIS and
costs 10 not heyin' his kickin' ma
sheen in good condition.
ONE MORE DELINQUENT.
The president helped himself to q
glass OF water, wiped the dew of his
spectacles and kindly inquired If any,
body had seen Elder Toots within tha
last month. The elder was only ten
feet away, and he looked anxious and
worried as he rose up.
Elder Toots,' softly began Brother
Gardner. did you cher meet up wild dc
tranquility OF de rrecarius reiiection?.
No, sab, neber did"
Did 1t cher occur to YOU dat de-
munificence of de prablematical might
enter into de radiation of de epitome 2'
No, sah."
You will scuse me fur akin da
questions, elder, but day or two ago.
when you was buyin' spool of thread
IN store, | heard you tellin' de clerk
dat OWN do de impressiveness of de
huctuation you felt obleeged to prevent
de ostensible deliheration. You know
what you meant, don't your
Not shassely, sah."
Was it your objeck to paralyze dat
clerk"
Il reckon 1t was"
And l reckon you did it. At least,
he thinks you ar a fool or lunatic.
Now, den, one brief word to you and
all others. Dis foolin wild de English
language has got TO stop or dis Lime
Kiln Club will be busted all To smash.
When You want Goldfish SO to de gro
Gerry and ak fur it IN so many words.
When you talk of war. pollytcks or re-
igion, you don't need any big words.
I'm all out o patience wild SIGH foolin'
around and fur de last time | warn you
lat de elimination of de infatuation
Will lead TO a convolution of de pres
oiration. We will now pour de con-
ents of de water pail into de fire and
20 home"
Copyright, 1925 by John Brsben walker)
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1898-11-27
pr TliEl( GARDNER.



AZ 4as Some Rennrkp on ..EnelIsh g 81.
lsspoks.'
When the routine business Of the
regular meeting of the Llme-kiln Cluh
had been concluded, Brother Gardner
arose and looked up and down the
alsles over his spectacles and said.
Doorin' the past two weeks / hev
bin clusly watchln' sartin members OF
dis club. and l hev bin panied and
grieved to diskiver dat de advice | hey
frequently given has gone fur naught.
A dozen times in de last three years
new adbised and cautioned against the
i way majority of you use the English
language, but it pears to have done no
! good. Eber since | was 'lected presi-
dent oh dis Lime-Kiln Club | hev sot
you an example in dis matter. l hev
spoken plainly and simply, sayin what
| meant and meanin what l said De
! English language as she is spoke aw
good huff fus anybody. Nobody needs
go huntin' around fur big words To
make hisself understood. Nobody need
lose his breath in findin' language to
ask de way to de postoffice or de time o.
day."
A TWISTER BY SAMUEL SHIN.
If Brudder Sampel Shin am wild us
we're tonight he will riz up" continued
the president, after a rather painful
pause.
samuel had crowded in behind the
stove and was just falling asleep, and
he was long minute in getting out
where he could be seen. Then Brother
Gardner said:
"Brudder Shin, de odder day, when
you was buyin' 'taters in a grocery, |
heard you say to de grocer de am
biguity OBJ de sinuosity didn't pear to
be commensurate wild de comparison.
De grocer didn't fall dead, but he will
not be we'll man again for some
weeks. Jest what did you mean by
dem words, Brudder Shin?"
Il dunno, sab" was the hesitating
reply.
Was it your object to paralyze dat
grocer"
Cant say
id your words refer to 'taters,
'lasses, watermillyons, or what?"
Dunno
Il thought not. You may sit down, |
Brudder Shin. You jest picked up dem
words one by one, and when de time !
come you shot 'em off altogether. If !
you imagine dat you lowered de price |
of 'taters any let me tell you dat you |
am mistaken, and dat de captation oh |
de duration will soon dominate de jur- |
dsdiction. In other words. de next |
time l cotch you putin frills on de |
English language you will come here
to find de doah locked agin you and |
your name crossed off de rolls
WHAT WAYDOWN REPEF SAID
Aud Brudder Bebee.' said the presi- |
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1898-11-27
FORTUNES IN SWEETS.

Every one who has been in Euro
pean city at carnival time has seen the
confetti which are thrown about in
mimic warfare in the streets. The max
ing and selling of these tiny paper pei
lets constitute an industry of some lit
tie Importance 1t is estimated that the
Parisians alone spend $4,000 upon
them every year: The total weight OF
confetti sold in Paris in year has been
estimated at 10000 kilograms, or more
than 100 tons.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1898-11-27

sknj 6F & q 8 s. 9j'jf
sen IS buried 6}Iyz5 IorroW Z
8 Not choices lEost Any old place
Win do Tor me-.
with that he jumped aboard and
was on continued the father. He
hadn't been gone three minutes when
hears . to0tin' In the woods and says
to my wife:
Mary, that's a wild locomotive,
and it'll git to the crossin' jest about
II time to pick up Bill
Shouldn't a bit wonder says she,
and l put on my hat and lighted my
pipe and strolled down that way. AS
reached the crossin' the engine came
backin' up from havin' run a mile be-
yond it, and the engineer calls out:
Say, old man, be You lookin' fur
anybody or other?'
Fur my son Bill l says.
"'Young Teller on bike?'
eyes
Ride with his nose on the handle
bar and his ears full of cotton?'
That's my son BILL
Well, we picked him up jest here
at the crossin'. Maybe he figgered he
had half an inch to spare, but he was
wrong. How fur into the next county
he was flung can't say, but you ought
to get his remains inside of three or
four days."
"And did you?" asked.
Eyes, SIR" replied the old man. Eyes,
we found the remains of Bill and the
remains of the bike, and we buried em
both in one grave
And were they badly mangled?"
We'll, no; they was sort O. driv to-
bether and all mixed up, and if it
hadn't been fur the expression OF Bills
face it would hev bin hard to tell one
from t'other. Bill was .smilin'. He
was figgerin' that his hind wheel would
clear that cowcatcher by a hairs
breadth, but he miscalculated. Poor
Bill! He's got wings now and don't
hev to pump up tires and fool with
chains and wrenches and oil cans, and
there is no railroads in heaven to
knock him sky-high and across lots"
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1898-11-27

hlrky ga doli1x6s ~ rs keSuftfr
Au1n1l aftef ! nno6nentss fhuuxht
I've got "a appetite Ike IN arm,
mule. and never wear shoes coetinI
less than 81 per pair. Can't you r0l
some bank or make 3 corner Of
! wheat
Alas! mol" was the anguished re
ply.
| "How's your father fixed?"
| Busted
| Then we'll cancel our date and de
clare the deal off,
! Say not SO, Aurania!" he exclaimed
| in tones which would have melted q
! heart or stone. do not tell me thai
/ because | am not rich you scorn my
love and refuse Toto
Good night, iBll," she interrupted as
tears nlIed her eyes.
But only the mouse dog answered.
Next day they found about a yard OF
William Penelope Pilaster's trousers
loaiing around on the lawn, but Will
liam had gone to Switzerland to pre-
clpitate himself into some vast pre-
Cipitation.
How dare you tell me this-how
dare you."
And Robinet @. Robinson. father of
Bobby B. Robinson, walked up and
down his oak-paneled library and
giared several first-class glares at the
timid girlish form before him.
But love him SOL" she whispered.
What If you dol" he brutally de-
manded as he stopped short in his
walk. LOOK at the social gulf be-
tween you! While you are worth your
millions and swagger around with the
TOUR hundred, my son Bobby has an in
come of only seven dollars a week and
knows OF no society higher than that
he hnds in the beer gardens. Do you
thlnk | would let him sacrifice himself
because you happen to have pink
ears p
He has said he loved me beyond all
else, murmured Elsie De Lisle as a
tremor shook her willowy form.
Then he lied. 1t was only two DAVIS
ago that | caught him kissing the COOK.
NO, girl, 1t can never be. 1t was the
right thing to do for you to come here
and propose for the hand of my son.
instead OF inveigling him to run off to
Philadelphia and get married, but
cannot see him throw himself away.
foud better go home and eat a piece
OF m1nce pie and go to bed
Wlll-Wil1 nothing move you, hard
hearted mani" she almost shrleked as
she raised her eyes to heaven.
Only policeman was the unre,
lenting reply.
Then farewell to this world, and
your conscience will forever accuse you
Of being my murderer"
He turned his back on her, cruel to
the last, and the naughty, beautiful,
wealthy, timid shrinking, loving, de-
Spairing, heart-stricken girl gid from
The house out into the cold, unfeeing
world with but one thought in her
lalf-crazed brain, and that TO die. |
Next day, when search was made for |
Ter, they found one of her shoes tied |
o the top of telegraph pole, but that |
vas the sole and only clue, and the de- |
ectlves soon got a tired feeling. |
Whether the fair but heart broken Ell |
lie laid herself down under some wild |
ose-bush and died With a prayer on |
Ter lips, or married a farmers hired |
nan and went into butter and eggs,
he world will never know.
Copyright, 1898, by John Brisben
Walker
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1898-11-27

ed by five or six different men. Every
body wanted the honor of pounding
ON that bass. When this sort OF thing
had gone on for some time Salathlel
Green whacked three whacks on MS
drum to command attention and arose
and said:
"It sorter appears to me that to have
brass band we've got to have horns
10 foot on. Nobody has offered to foot
ON horns. AS for the drummin biz
ness that falls to me. | never was no
hand to play the mouth organ or &C
Gordon but when it comes to pound
in a drum nobody can beat me. Jest
listen to this!"
And he thumped the drum fifteen or
twenty tfumps. and smiled like a
tickled child and looked around Tor ap-
plause. He didn't get any, however.
Every man in the meeting had decided
that he would beat the time or have
nothing to do with the band question.
When it was seen that Salathlel was
"sot" a committee was appointed TO
take him out back of the meeting
house and wrestle with him. Joe Henry
was one of the five and he smiled on
sSalathiel and began:
What / want to see in this case is
speerit of brotherly love. This brass
band is not to honor ourselves, but the
town. We must pick out the best men
S amt sayin' that Salathiel don't
whack the drum fairly well, but he's
lop-shouldered and his knees bend in
wards. He wouldn't look purity in
purcesion."
II also want a speerit of brotherly
love to PREVAIL" added Moses Scher-
merhorn as he patted Salathiel on the
back. Il was observin' Brother Greer
as he marched around town this after
noon. les got a monstrous ear FOL
time, but he squints up one eye ant
draws his mouth around to the left.
our band was marchin' through thu
streets of New York I'm afeared thu
folks would guy him."
The other members of the commit
tee advanced their objections; ant
when the last one had finished Sa
lathiel gave that big drum two might.
whacks and said:
sYou critters can all go to grass
I'm ownin this drum, and don't CIV
it up to anybody"
The committee had to return to tn
hall and report that nothin' could D
done with the obstinate man, VIII
stood out on the square pounding ava
until his own hair stood up. 1t was
good half hour before any speakin
could be heard above the noise, an
then Judge Taylor got up and SAID
was evident that patriotism was dea
and public spirit in its last agonie'
He had always looked u1on SaiaInis
Green as q man who put Quan cree
hafore himself, and one 10y . 2
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1898-11-27

81 cannot. He is a man who knows
when he has got good thing, and he
would sue me for damages. You
should have come sooner. While l pity
you the best l can da is to promise
that you shall be No. 6. THIS sort of
weather is good for corn and 'taters,
isn't it,"
False jade, thus do I tear your
blasted image from my blooming
heart!" shrieked Henry Copso Coburg
as he rose UP; the next moment he
dashed through the French window
with a d-d-dash and was gone from
her sight forever. Next morning not
even his tracks were to be discovered
| in the mud. He had fed to Kansas to
promote land company.
| "Aurania.'
| 1t was the soft and pensive voice OF
! William Penelope Plaster, speaking at
! midnight under the chamber window
of Aurania Guilford.
THAT you, Bill?" replied the girl in
bird-like tones as she threw up the
sash and stuck ont her head.
Eyes, darling, l am here. | am pro-
vided with a rope-ladder, cork-screW
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1898-11-27
A srLKwToRM OF THE SEA.

SIX "a obtained from the shelidsh
known as the pima (mytilidae). which
IL found In the Mediterranean. This
shellash has the power OF spinning a
yiseid SILK which in Sicily Is made into
regular and very handsome fabric.
The slk is spun By the shelihsh in the
first instance for the purpose OF attach
Ing itself to the rocks. IL Is able 10
guide the delicate flaments TO the proper
place and there glue them fast, and u
they are cut away II can reproduce them
The material when gathered. which -
dome at low tide, Is washed in soap and
water, dried, Strengthened and cardeds
/ one pound OF the coarse nlament yielding
| about three ounces Of fine thread, which
/ when spun il d Lovely Furnished golden
! brown color.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1898-11-27
HE MADE A DISCOVERY.

II hear good deal about luck" said
the oculist as he polished away at
pair of eyeglasses and smiled in sor-
rowful way, but | don't believe In It.
The man who has luck is the man who
don't make a fool of himself, as | did
a year or two ago. Ii I'd had two
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1898-11-27

Some Extracts to show That IL II FuIly
Upto Date.
He had loved her in secret for thirty
eight long years, but so well had he
yelled his feelings that she had never
even suspected them. On this evening,
as the gale screamed about the house
and the rain fell In torrents, Henry
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1898-11-27

and a dark-lantern and we will fly to-
gether TO some far-off shore, where We
can live for each other alone. Hasten
to descend, my angel OF light.
"Bill, how are you heeled for the
needful?'' queried the charming girl as
she peered down at him through the
darkness.
Il have over thirty bones in my in
side pocket he repliet- But why
speak of the rhino? We fly to love and
live on love"
"Bill. tan't do no Tying act on
The Irish standard., 1898-12-17
MARKET REPORT.

Revised and corrected up to noon Dec. 15
BuTTER-rhe butter market is more steady
than on "Wednesday. The drop In values Of a
day two previous appears to have touched
bottom for the present. Present prices are cheap
Tor the season. provided the article is up to the
standard.
The tare single head sugar barrels is IS lbs
when used for packing stock. Apple and Hour
barrels 1re tared ut 80 lbs.
Quotations today are:
The Irish standard., 1898-12-17

ORDER
State of Minnesota. County of l1cnncpin-
District Court. Fourth judicial District
In the matter of the assignment OF the
Tribune job Printing Company, inSolvent.
On presentation and filing of the final
account of Arthur RI. Noycs, as assignee OF
the above named insolvcnt.
1t Is Hereby Ordered, That tho same he
presented for hearing at a special term OF
this court to be held ON the 9Th day OF jan
uary, 1879. ut the court house in the city Of
Minneapolis, ut 9 o'clock in the forenoon of
said day, or as soon thereafter as counsel
can lie heard;
1t Is Further Ordered, That cause. If any,
be shown why said Arthur II. Moves. as
assignee of said insolvcnt estate should
not be discharged from further service as
such assignee, his bond be cancelled and tho
sureties released.
Ordered Further. That copy of this order
he published for three successive weeks in
the Irish Standard, a newspaper published
in the city of Minneapolis. county of Hem
lcation being on Saturday. the 18th day Of
December 1898. and the last publication
being on Saturday. the 31st day OF Deccm-
Der. 1898.
Ordered Further. That copy of such
notice he mailed to the above named In
solvent, and all creditors entitled to share
in the distribution of the assets of said
insolvent estate, by mailing II copy of this
order postpaid and properly directed to said
parties in the nostolice at the city of Min
neapolis, county Of llennepn and state Of
Minnesota.
Dated this 18th day of December, 1898.
BY the Court.
EDWARD M. JOHNSON,
The Irish standard., 1898-12-17
? :1 EAII5z< q .
@ 5|z -! f : s s;
CLARENCE HERBeRr NEW.

I thought better of 1t, ul.u lu4ueu IL.
again. s.:s,s...,.
The Irish standard., 1898-12-17
Irlshmen In the Revolution.

The following letter from the secre-
tary of the American-Irish Historical So
ciety appeared in the New York Sun Of
Nov. "a, in partial refutation of the state
ment made by correspondent to the
effect that the freedom of the United
States had been won exclusively by the
efforts of natlve-born Americans:
To the Editor Of the Sun:
Sir: In the Sun of the 21st inst, ap-
pears communication from IAN Amer
ican," which solemnly declares that
there is no complete roster of the revo-
lutionary army, but on the imperfect
lists which remain there are very few
Irish Names"
Evidently he knows nothing Of the
roster Of our revolutionary army, or he
The Irish standard., 1898-12-17
Resolutions of Coincidence.

At meeting of Div. No. l, Ladies'
Auxiliary Of A. O. e., of Green Isle, Sib-
ley county, Mimi, Dec. II, 1898, the fol-
lowing resolutions were adopted:
Whereas, Almighty God, in His infinite
wisdom, has seen fit to remove from this
world and from our midst our late sister,
Mary r. Fitzpatrick.
Whereas BY her death our division has
lost one of it's first members. member
who, by the edifying life she led, was a
model for all. true Christian, kind
daughter, I: fond sister and devoted
child to her parents.
Resolved. That we, the members OF
Div. No. 1. l.. A.. A. O. H., do hereby
extend to her bereaved father, mother
and brothers our heartfelt sympathy for
the loss they have sustained, that can
The Irish standard., 1898-12-17

FLOUh.
FLOCR-The flour market Is strong and o,.,,
1t Is reported. and doubt true that tho ~
of Observation-Disclosures 100 O0o hII ME-
with two of the smaller mills to he beori
from. This is large and bids fair to ca,e eara
sitter demand for wheat and CONSEQUENT hI~h %
range for flour. ~
First patents 81 701o3 on
Second patents ....'.. ''.............. 3.l0S535o
BRAN. SHORTS AND COARSE on sasSHs'o'
Reported by Washburn. Crosby & Co:
Bran In bulk. ......................,.sy 6om,o m
Middlings in bulk...* s s0W ~. ~
Af FEED aGs in 2oo t SACKS Per ton
1o9-lb socks. E50. The market Continues III ~
strong with good demand for aIl grades e. ~
the top.
s9Nc: no grade. 2Skc. A>o' d
Oats-No. oats. 26Ac: No. 3 white Oh
Rye-ln good demand at 48l56D49c: M ,.ra''.
sales OF reported. ''e'
Barley-High grade mailing. 46@47c: No A ,o,
req Tse Sas Sy the Diamond El.vato, and
" Trade very heavy and prices inclininx to .
higher basis
coarse corn meal and cracked corn.
in saws, per ton. sacks extra. Ell -soo
NJ i ground feed and corn. ID oats ''Sp'. .''
SO-lb sacks. sacks extra.........., 10 5oo0
NJ. ground feed " corn, " oats go
75-lb sacks sacks extra. .......... 13,25@
No. ground feed. 2-3 oats. 1-3 corn '@'''..
7O-b SACKS. SACKS extra. H00Ql
Rye hour 2.4O@ ECO
The Irish standard., 1898-12-17
WHEAT MOVEMENT.


DULUTH Mimi. Dec. 16.NMarkct duu and
firm Yesterday: Dec. opened nc uD at 62,zc, sold
up t9 SS%c ts:41 oir to G2Ac at $780, up to 63Nc
-25o ooo bu at December price for spot and lo
over December tor wheat to arrive. Cash Sales
northern. S3%c: 10000 blu No. i northern, G3Mc:
10000 bu No. l northern. 63Ac: 5000 bu No /
northern. 63Mc; 5000 blu No. l northern, 63Xc:
81. 600 bu No: ! northern. Ess495sAc: 1000 bu No.
g. spring. SSA @D56hc: 1910 bu grade wheat
Wheat. $50 cars; corn 81; oats, q rye, s; barley.
81: flax. % Receipts-Wheat. 235.0sl blu: corn,
rs So bu; oats. l.s7l blu: rye. 2,155 blu; barley,
S.13S Blu; flax. 1854 bu. Ssipments-Wheat "a III
bu; fax, "a. 495 bu. 'N'-''
December closed INC up at 63Ac; spot No. 1
hard. 65%c; No. northern. G3Ac: No. 2 northern
5sNc; No. spring. 56Ac; to arrive: No. hard
GeMc; No. ! northern. 64Ac: No. northern,
| northern. May. &c: oats. 27ap2GXc; rye, sic:
barley 56a141c; fax. $l.04: December, 81 O3; MAY