The times., 1898-10-30
TWO IRISH WITS.
Familiar Examples of the Repartee
of Curran and O'ConneH.
CFrom the London Telegraph.)

tFrom the London Telegraph
John Philpot Curran was noted for his
powers of repartee and sarcasm. Many of
his good things in that line have come
down to US through the century. There
could not be a better testimony 10 their
worth; but as most of them are too well
known to need repeating here. l will SIM
ply give few that l have picked up in
out-of-the-way places.
At a dinner table in London the con-
versation turned on public speaking. Cur
ran stated that he could never address an
audience for a quarter of an hour without
moistening his lips. II have the advan-
tage of you there. Curran." said Sir
Thomas Turton. a pompous and preten
tious member of Parliament. Il spoke
the other night In the House of Commons
for five hours on the Nabob of Dude. and
never felt in the least thirsty" That is
very remarkable, indeed" replied Curran.
for everyone agrees that it was the dri-
est speech of the session
One day Curran was walking past the
Parliament House in College Green, be-
fore the Bank of ireland got possession OF
it, with nobleman who had promoted the
legislative union by his votes. Il wonder
what they intend to do with that useless
building?" said the nobleman. For my
part, | hate the sight of II. Il do not
wonder at that, my lord, returned Cur
ran. who was an anti-Unionist- 7 never
yet heard of a murderer who was not
afraid of a ghost.
Curran. as will be seen from these an
ecdotes. could say mordant and cutting
things; but perhaps no man was ever in
suited with such dialectical neatness and
inseniousness as Curran was by the fa-
nous maker of bulls" Sir Boyle Roche.
in the Irish House of Commons. THE
honorable gentleman says he is the
guardian of his own honor" said Roche
in reply to a speech of Curran; but on
other occasions I have heard him
boast that he was an enemy of sine
cures"
Curran was defeated in a conversation
al contest with Lady Morgan. the Irish
novelist. one evening. in that iadys
drawing-room. when. exaggerating the
prevailing fashion in short sleeves. she
wore merely straps over her shoulders.
Curran was walking away from the lit
tie party who witnessed the conflict of
the two wits. when Lady Morgan called
out: "Ah. come back. Mr.. Curran. and
acknowledge that you are fairly beaten"
AT any rate said he. turning around.
"I have this consolation. Lady Morgan,
that you can't laugh at me in your
sleeve"
Daniel O'ConnelFs sarcastic and graph
iC utSCflptlDli VI 1t ldus VI Sllll Cplu ana
formal manners is very happy. "She has
all the characteristics of a poker-except
its occasional warmth"
This recalls the story of the two Irish
servants who discussing the stiff and I'M
bending manners of the young lady of
the family. agreed that when she was a
baby her mother must have fed her upon
boiled pokers. underdone,"
Another happy and humorous example
of sarcasm-as apart from repartee-is af-
forded by the following anecdote. quote
1t on the authority of a friend. who. am
afraid. was the villain of the incident
A most imperturbable man was followed
from Westmoreland Street, Dublin over
the OConnell Bridge to the general post
office by two little street arabs. who i'm
portuned him for the end of his cigar
Throw us the butt siri All. sir. throw
US the butt" cried the youths: but as the
man did not betray the slightest con-
sciousness of their existence they gave
him up at last In despair and disgust.
"Arrah. let him alone" said one. with the
most scorching scorn. "shure. it's butt
he's picked up himself"
| once heard a bumptious little man.
who. acting as steward at athletic sports
in Dublin. was very assertive in keeping
hack the crowd. thus addressed by an
angry spectator: IF the consate was
taken out of yez. ye'd be no bigger than
green gooseberry. and ye're as sour as
w. already"