The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1898-11-10
THE BREAKER.

monplace as other people--a middle
aged man. inclined to portliness. AS
the train moved on he discussed COM
monpiace subjects with me in a COM
monplace way. | should not have been
surprised to have been told that he was
stockholder or a solicitor, or that hc
was engaged In the tea trade. In the
course Of our chat something happened
to be said about curious occupations.
well said my companion. II do not
suppose that there is any more curious
occupation than my own. am
breaker"
He had not at all the appearance of
man used TO horses; but I suggested
"A horse breaker. you mean?"
NO." he said. Jus: a plain breaker
A man who breaks things, breaks any
thing that requires to be broken; gets
his living by breaking"
l glanced nervously at the commune
Gator. though he looked even less like
lunatlc than he did like a horse
breaker.
Il see" he said smiling, that must
explain. When l left Cambridge with
n classical degree but no prospects and
no influence, I looked about for a pro-
fession I found everything over
crowded; besides. none of the profess
ions appealed to me at all. like to ira
vel about little, and enjoy social life
l like talkingtalking to anyone. hate
work of any kind. This being the case,
l looked about me to see If there was
not chance for some new profession:
If among our million wants there was
not one that was not supplied. The
idea came to me by accident. 7 was
stopping at my uncles house when he
received as a present from his wife's
brother singularly ugly but very val
liable pair Of oriental vases. His wife's
brother was frequently in my unclc's
house, and therefore these abomina-
tions had to be displayed. l heard
him grumbliug about this. I suggest
ed that he should sell them. The idea
was, of course, absurd; he told me so.
Nor he said. could he break them
himself. for his wfe's brother would
never forgive him; nor could he ask
his wife to break them, because. al
though he has been married fifteen
years. he felt that he did not know
her well enough. nor could he ask the
servants to break them, for that would
encourage carelessness and thriftless-
ness. That is all right I said. 7
rose from my place and smashed the
vases, one after the other, on the
floor. Sorry l was so clumsy / said;
you had better ring and have the
rubbish cleared away. He rang, and
told the servant that I had broken
them accidentally. When she had
gone he said without a smile. 1T seems
rather a. pity I said, L am very
short of ready money. Could you lend
me five pounds? He wrote me a
check for twenty, and said that l was
a useful man to know of. Then I
said, Recommend me to your friends
for already I saw the possibility of
my future profession. He mentioned
me to some half dozen people he knew,
some of whom l had never seen in my
life before. They sent me invitations
to their houses, and they indicated
the objects on which I was to operate.
In my first week | broke, | remember.
lamp shaped like an owl. an oil
painting. a tea service, and a dining
room table"
But an oil painting" | said. "How
does one break an oil painting"
1T is simple enough" be said, II
first of all undid the wires so that
the picture fell, then in picking it up
I put my foot through the face. 1t
was u portrait of my wfe's aunt 1t
was more difficult to break the dining
room table. / recollect that it be-
came necessary for the purpose to in
vent somewhat boistcrous form of
round game. Even then we had to
play it for three evenings before the
legs came off. When l left this house
my host handed me 2 check and prom
! ised to recommend me to other people.
| never advertise, and i have more
breaking to do thar l can possibly find
time for. If / could find young man
with plenty of tact / would take him
as an assistant"
1T must need some tact" suggest
! ed.
"It does. II 50 often happens that
| am employed by the husband without
| the knowledge OF the wife, or by the
! wife without the knowledge of the
| husband. Even with the utmost tact
| one gets oneself diSliked but that /
must put W with. The other day one
Of my clients asked me to come to his
| house to break "A dinner service. |
| dincd there and made myself as pleas
! amt as | could and told several good
/ stories. But then | also broke the
dinner service, or most of it, and il
was one to which my hostess was
much attaChed. She said TO him after
ward, i will never have that brute
/ iii my house again.
And what did he say"
He said i fully agree with you, my
dear. TO the best of my belief the man
was drunk. If he had not been the son
of an old college friend | should never
haV" asked him at all That was a
| little mean; but then it was necessary
for him to cover himself in some way,
ana as 1 never break dinner service
under twenty-five pounds ! received
some consolation for the indsnity.
Have YOU got sany engagements at
present" / asked.
Yes" he said, Il am going to one
now, but ii is a trlfing thing requiring
no tact at ALL Had had an assistant
] should have sent him. / am 10 go the
day after wedding reception, when
the presents are being packed Those
| which, from their ugliness or worth.
| lessness, are not worth packing up and
sending to the bridegroOm's distant
home, have been placed on a separate
shelf | shall upset that shelf and ac-
cidentally stamp on anything which is
not broken in the fall The job won't
take five minutes, and | get three gum
cas- for it, l am DOING ii for the bride
groom without the knowledge of the
bride. Men begin to deceive women
very soon, ! find"
| E~TT--- -.-- ~-s., nnEE