The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1898-03-18
SMALL WIT IN CONGRESS.
SPECIMENS OF sAUCY TALK IN SEN
ATE AND HOUSE.
Reed and Springer ClaKh-Bits "a
Wit Handled in impromptu De.
bate often More Memorable Than
Scholarly Orations Laughter.

many z IN congress EHS become his
toric, and many a philippe in the capitol
stands prominent n congressional Temin-
iscences. Al least once a day in some
part OF the United States John Randolph's
Characterization OF John Quincy Adams
and Henry Clay Is repeated. Nor is Ran
dolphs encounter with the Rhode Island
shoemaker, who became a United States
senator. forgotten Ii was equaied. how
ever. In modern days by William NJ
sprinser's encounter with Tom Reed. and
the passage-at-arms between General
Spincla and Elijah Adams Morse. Mr..
Springer was addressing the house upon
some question of public policy. In fluent
language he outlined has IDEAS. filling In the
.nterstices with copious quotations and
riveting them with Illinois logic. As he
conclue9. the great man from Maine threw
open the I'D Of his desk and disclosed an
Old copy Of the Congressional Record.
Turning over It's leaves, ne brought to light
choice intellectual nlorsel. He read the
extract 10 the house with a bread Yankee
enunciation. II was q complete refQta-
tioD of the argument Of the member from
Illinois. The reading ended. Mr.. Reed
threw the Congressional Record into his
desk and closed the lid. Then turning TO
Mr.. Springer. he remarked ia a clear tone
Of voice: Such was the language of the
gentleman from Illinois in the Forty
fourth congress" He made M comment
but took his seat, the house regarding the
Illinois member with some establishment
Mr.. Springer arose somewhat nervously
In hurried words he began his reply He
said that this was an age of progress
progress in art, sciences and politics.
ASIDE from this conditions change The
surrounding circumstances in the Forty
fourth congress were different. Beyond all
this. mems opinions change. Sir Robert
Peel. when advocating the corn laws. was
by no means the same Robert Peel OF
twenty years before.
Wise men were always governed by their
convictions. regardless Of former opinions.
He (Mr. SpringeD was no exception to
the general rule. In the language OF an
eminent American statesman, he would
rather be right than be president"
Yes" replied Mr.. Reed, drawing out
the words, "but you'u never be either"
The house was couvulsed with laughter.
1t was hit Sc palpsble that II was some
minutes before the members could be
brought 10 order.
The tilt between General Spinola and
Elijah Adams Morse was equally as en-
pertaining. The general always wore an
enormous standing collar 1t was so large
that it is said that Tim Campbell ap-
preached him ore day and tapped the
cellar with the ferrule of his cane appol-
oseticaly asking. rs General SpinoIa
OF prohibition speech against the sale Of
intoxicating liquors in army canteens.
General Spinola had Interrupted him sew
eral times and in reply the Massachu-
sets statesman finally twitted him upon
the size If his collar Il Stung the eener-
al to the quick. Taking the floor some
minutes afterward he called attention
10 Morse's language. MY collar" said
he. unlike the gentleman from Massachu-
setts, is Immediately clean. and il # was
twice as high rs il Is, and was nIaced
around the neck OF the gentleman from
Massachusetts,, 1t would not serve TO
hide his ears
The general was a political cnrlo He
had striking face and a martial air. In
the Fifty-first congress he threw the
mousse into commissions ny pointing 10 the
painting representing a scene at the siege
or yorktown and gravely accusing Speak
er Reed OF counting the Hessians
There has been many a tilt since the
holiday recess of more or less jotares.
Ono between William p Hepburn, Of
Iowa, and Champ Clark. OF Missouri. was
extremely amusing, II occurred during
an EFFORT 10 divide the time for debate on
the civil service bill. Mr.. Henhurn as
samed that the time would be divided be-
tween those who favored the repeal of The
measure and those who were OPPOSED to
any modification. He said that the gentle
men on the other side, referring TO the
Democratic side. were in favor OF the
destruction Of the present system. There
was a large number Of gentlemen who
simply wanted It modified. That made
three sides in the house.
Here Champ Clark broke into the ring
Il would like 70 know said he ''how
you come 10 the conclusion that every
body on this side IS in favor OF the repeal
or the whole husnoss?''
simply because that would he wrong"
Mr. Hepburn replied. There was general
laughter Champ himself Joined in. while
Hepburn's party friends applauded 10 the
echo
NOT long afterward Mr.. Pearson. az
North Carolina was discussing tho ques-
tton. lie was denouncing the civil SER
vice commission when Mr. Swanson, OF
Virginia asked him 20 Weld for 2 ques-
ton Pearson protested. ana Swanson
persisted saying: II am with yen in this
matter. bat I want 70 ask you q ques-
tion''
fn reply Mr.. Pearson said: 'T knew nv
friend is all riEht bat Ter me reach nv
verb with a few adjectives. and VIII
listen 70 him"
This settled Mr.. Swanson. He sat down
with = smile. ard Mr.. Pearson continued
has argument 4 moment afterward an
other pers.stcD, ques,ionor. Mr. Kerr. -
OHIO. appeared Turning TO him. the
North 'arclinian sad: Any fool ran
ask question. In; Il takes a different
sort % an individual IN answer it,"
On the face ~ il. the reply appeared
rough. hut {. was really not meant for
ik7 memher w70 asked the question. The
North Carolrjan meant 20 APPLY n the
examination q candidates for cfice be-
fore -" civil! service commission.
Probably TIE s,roaces. speech acaius.
The EVIL service commission vas made
~ Nj Lands. Of Indiana Kiss. COLE rue.
NJ. johnson. vas an equally strong sup
n1r.eF ~ civil service During Mr. Ian
us speech Ne was repeatedly interrupted
by his colleague ara oIhers. Twice was
his tire extended. After ri1e last exter-
sion Nr Johnson again cIalmed his AZ
ton. - wig IL wanted ~ ask him gues-
ttn1. NJ Lands Thrice declined ~ yieIa
Mr.. johnson reminded him tia. his tl,ne
had been repeatedly extended. II know
that Vas THE rsspo9ee. ''tae house has
been too kind 20 me"
WI sad NJ johnson. sarsastleally,
i 81 TX 80 myself"
This created 0-coTtroIiatte laughter
Not ia1g afserwaTd NJ. johnson y7hta.aesi