The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1898-10-05
A GOOD GUN?
WELL, 1T WAS!
>~>~~
The Knob Country Man Said So,
and He Knew About II.
SAYS TO SAM" said the man from

| want 10 sell the gun lot lts Soou
gun, amt it?' says.
"'Good gun!' says Sam. We'll, there
want never no better gun p'inted at a
bear than that gun is says Sam. No,
nor as good a one, by smoke!' says he.
Then, l says, what in Sam Hill do
you want to sell it fer? Amt short O.
money, be your says.
II lnowed the gun from way back.
1t belonged first TO oil Solly Ebers, an
then it was a swivel britch, with a
couple o. bar'ls that never barked I'M
less they bit. / met Uncle Solly the
first time he went out with il, and
says:
"'Uncle Solly, where you goin'?'
"'Goin' to try my swivel britch,' he
says.
81 don't think much o. swivel
britches,' says. They don't lug your
load fur enough to tumble things that's
jest on the pint o. gettin' outen your
reach l says.
II noticed that Uncle Solly was prick
in up his ears while / was talllin', and
l hadn't hardly got through yit when he
wheels plumb around, claps the swivel
britch TO his shoulder, and lets her hol
Ter. hadn't see nor heerd nothin', and
i thunk TO myself that Solly was may
be Jest wantin' TO hear her bark, but
he hadn't no moren' whanged her off
in that direction than what does he do
but wheel in t'other direction, clap her
to his shoulder, and let her bark ag'in.
Then he says, as cool as cowcumber:
Maybe not, he says. Maybe they
can't lug your load fur enough TO
tumble things that's on the pint o. git
tin outen your reach he says, but
bet you them two bears has got diff
ferent idee-leastways they'd have a
different idee if they was in shape TO
have any idees at all, says he. Come
along and look at EN- says he.
II was so nigh gumspluttered that
couldn't say a word. I hadn't see no
bear, nor heerd no bear, and thought
Uncle Solly must "a gone little crazy
over that new swivel britch o. his'n, but
I went along. Solly led off in the direc-
ton he had let the gun 60 the first
time, and we walked so fur that was
most gittin' tired. when Uncle Solly
stopped and p'inted off in the brush.
"'Go ask that bear what he thinks
o. swivel britches luggin' loads says
/ he.
There laid a slammin' big bear with
a hole plumb through his gullet.
""Uncle Solly!' says. This is amaz-
i'm
"'Not for this gum says he.
"Then we went back in t'other direc-
ton, and walked just as fur IL not
! furder, and there lay another bear,
! deader'n stone, with ball clean
through him.
"'Was he on the pint O. jest gittin'
outen my reach or wasn't he" says
! Uncle Solly.
"He hadn't been only on the pint of
! gittin' out of reach, but he was about
three rod outen all sorts o reach of any
gun I'd ever see or heerd tell on afore,
and / changed my mind about swivel
britches. l offered Uncle Solly 10 acres
o. hemlock timber land for the gun,
but he wouldn't take il. He mowt bet
/ ter "a done il, though, fer he died only
! the next week, and they rallied the
swivel britch off, and Pete Goble won il.
I Pete owed the Widder Budd S13, and she
! levied on the gun, and Pete, like the
! darn fool he was, let her have the gun
! for the debt. The Wilder Budd was
the meanest and ugliest and skinniest
and pepperist woman that ever sot
! down in that country. Joe Sewers he
tried TO buy the gun of her, but she
wouldn't sell, and what do you think
Joe done? He married her, by film
ders, jest to git that gun! Did he git
it? No, sir! The wilder wouldn't
let him 60 in the woods with it, and she
deviled and sot down on Joe so that he
pinned away, and one day snuck the gun
out'n the house, took il back in the
stone medder, and socked a bullet
through his head with it.
"The wilder had been wantin' 10 buy
some timber land o me, and | wouldn't
sell, but couple o. days after we had
given Joe his funer'l / went down TO
the widder's and told her I'd sell her
the timber if she'd sell me the gun.
/" Il don't want your durn timber, she
snapped. And hain't got no gun!'
II didn't burst ask her what she'd
done with the gun, but 1 found out that
she had traded it TO Sim Dukes for a
steer. Now, Sim Dukes never went
huntin', and 1 couldn't see what he
wanted to trade a steer for gun for,
so mogged over to his clearin'.
"'Sim,' says I. L hear you traded a
steer fer the widder's gum
YES says Sim. Has he histed her
yit9
"'Histed herr 1 says.
ayes says Sim. That's the hookin'-
est and hckin'est critter that ever
paved dirt and slung it's hind feet in
the air and tossed its horns, says he.
He h'isted that boy Jim o. mine so
high t'other day that Jim hain't ben
outen the house since, an he tossfed
Hubby ANN in the hay NOW an KEEP
her there for two hours fore we could
get pitchforks enough in him TO make
him think there was sumpin' else with
( xxbiIa haeidac kickin' and hooLin' Co