The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1898-09-21
The Cow that Kicked The Pail Over.

the practical and the picturesque fea-
lures which are embodied in an ideal
bovine personality. Her general ap-
pearance commended her on sight to
every observer. Large and we'll pro-
portioned, sleek, clean-limbed, bright
eyed, she could have stood before any
artist and in her grace of repose and
matronly dignity made an admirable
model for picture or statue.
And her character accorded with her
physique. She was case of mems sdnd
in corpore sano. She did not "hook,"
nor jump fences, nor in any way (save
in the one exception we are called to
note) make herself disagreeable. She
was never averse to meeting the requi- |
sitions imposed upon her, and respond |
ed cheerfully to every call of duty. |
She never demurred when summoned |
from the pasture field, and, however |
satisfactory her environment there,
when the boy appeared and the bars
were let down she would look up with
"Why certainly" expression and
walk serenely out and take her place at
the milking spot, and, with actions
more eloquent than words, express her
evidently conscious sentiment, ~ am
at your service" She stands before
our minds eye as a well-constructed,
well-balsnced, conscientious cow-an
ornament to her profession. In max
ing this memorial of her virtues it is a
matter of regret that candor requires
the Interpolation Of any adverse criti-
cism. Yet she had one defect, which
was so inconsistent with and anomalous
to her general high standard that it
was hard to reconcile it with the large
balance in her favor. 1t was very
rare expression of obliquity in her, and
only INDUCED in after long periods of
unexceptionable behavior. But once
in while the evil impulse would seize
her, when, under some unaccountable
suggestion, and when the pail was well
filled with her rich Tactical secretions,
she would strike out from "the hip"
aud aim an unerring blow with the
rapidity of flash of lightning, and
then there would be milky way in the
barnyard yard square.
1t was to all concerned psychologi-
cal problem difficult of solution. Had
it been of frequent occurrence it could
easily have been set down to general
"cussedness;" and then, doubtless,
when, forbearance had ceased TO be
virtue she would have atoned for her
delinquency at the slaughter-house.
But as her indulgence in her evil pros
pensity was so rare, and mean time
she maintained her equilibrium at its
high average, her exceptional acts
were hard to account for. Willing to
give her the benefit of every doubt, she
was carefully watched to see whether
it might not be attributable to accident.
But candor compelled negative an
swer to such justification. Whenever
it was done it was Enthusiastically done
with malice of forethought. But most
problems are solvable TO patient in
vestigation, and the way this mystery
was ciphered out we will submit to our
readers, who are also at liberty to judge
of its accuracy and make their own APP
plicatiOn.
One day, when the milking opera
ton was about completed and the petu-
liant fit came upon her for such it
seemed TO beg, that offending hind foot
darted out in all its CELEBRITY and vigor,
and not only milk, but mixer, lay
sprawling on the ground. In mo-
ment, however, the latter collected
herself together, and in rare spirit of
self. possession, more in sorrow than in
anger, remarked: "Whv, Bossyl What
is the matter with your You are just
like Deacon Brown" She said no
more. She did not need to. She had
hit the nail on the head, in our judg-
ment. Every one who knew Deacon
Brown could appreciate the fitness of
the comparison. Deacon Brown was
a very respectable and much respected
member of our community. He was a
pillar in our church. But he was a
pillar with knots in it.. He was good
counselor, and very sympathetic and
benevolent and intensely active. But
he did like to have things go as he
said, and there was quite likely to arise
tempest in the teapot when his will
was opposed. Any friction was like
striking match, and he would flash
up in an instant, and those nearest or
in closest contact stood good chance
of getting scorched. He was not I'M
like the COW. If he had always been
as he sometimes was he would have
been practically thrown overheard, like
Jonah. But this was very far from be-
ing the case. He had good quantity
and quality of the milk of human kind
ness, and only occasionally kicked the
pail over-in which respect also he was
like the COW. And 80 it was this re-
mark of the milkmaid by its Apostle
ness furnished the key to our cow prob
lem. Cows have their idiosyncrasies
as well as people, and as the price of
our own indulgence in them we must
be considerable, and exercise patience
and charity whenever we come into
collision with them, whether in quad
ruped or biped.
In some way or other there are few
who do not kick sometimes. And yet
it is unfortunate that so much good
should be neutraized by these upset
ting spells. We never know just when
they will come on. A country minis
ter who was in great terror of dogs was
one day just leaving the premises of
parshioner where he had been paying
a call. AS he was untying his horse a
great dog came sauntering up toward
him, and the minister edged away in
very apparent nervousness.
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