The Opelousas courier., 1898-12-10
WIT AND N
op'to'Date Jokes and Witt!cisms From the
Comic Papers.
A LITTLE PRINCELET,

A LITTLE P~RINCELET.
She treats her little brother in the
sweetest sort of way;
She fills his little stomach full of candy
every day,
And kisses him and hugs him, fills
him up with pie and cake,
And rubs the seat of trouble when he
has the stomach-ache.
A while ago she'd slap him till his
little ears would ring;
She'd cuff him and she'd scold him
when he hadn't done a thing.
But now he is a p~rincelet, both she
and her steady say
he was hid beneath the sofa at a spark
ing matinee.
SILENCE IN THE COURT
Judge-'Bailif, have that shuf filing
Of feet stopped. The noise is very
annoying to me-"
Hibernian Baliff Tin stentorian
tones)-"Here, nowl How'd yure
tongues wild yure feet, livery man av
yez |! Sure, his amer can't hear him
self thi-t"
The REASON OF IT.
Ethel-It seems strange to hear a
man who has been married as often as
he has to call his wife dearest"
Margarie-Oh, but you must re-
member she is the most extravagant
n he has had.
o ENOUGH CIRCULATION.
":You say that you printed kisses
On her lips? What did she say ;"
"'She complained that the edition
was too small"
EPI1RAMNAT1CAL.
Genius is the ability to say clever
things which haven't been said, isn't
it ?"
mo. Genius is the ability to say
clever things to people who haven't
heard them already"
"Oratory is a gift, not an acquire
ment,' said the proud politician, as
he sat down after an hours harangue.
II understand" said the matter-of-
fact chairman. Were not blamin'
you. You done the best You could"
LOCATING THE RESPONSIBILITY.
"What makes you so impatient with
reference to the old songs ?" inquired
the irritable mans friend.
81 haven't any objection to the old
SONGS" was the answer. where I
put the blame is with the young
people who sing EN-"
SHOP TALK.
Jack-Did you know that Jones,
the tailor, asked Miss Swell to marry
him?
,Dick-So? And what did she say
Jack-She gave him a fitting answer.
Dick-What was it?
Jack-She told him he was cut out.
Dick-And that ended it, suppose?
Jack-Yes, he didn't press his suit
further.
AN UNKNOWN QUANTITY.
Rochelle: How much did that wheel
cost you, old man?
Parke: I don't know; my doctor
hasn't sent in his bill yet.
ABOARD Yacht.
First Sailor: There's squall COM
ing now.
Second: How do you know? see
no signs of any.
First: The owners wife has just
come aboard.
APPREC1ATIvE.
Don't misunderstood me-" said
Wandering Mike; 81 amt down on
work"
"You don't seem to have much af-
lection fur it," replied Flooding Pete.
eyes, I have. Work is a good
ting. IF it wasn't fur work how
would all desc people git money to
give us ?"
DISCOUNT EXPECTED.
Influenza Patient-What, doctor,
do you mean to say you charge me
IS a visit
Overwhelmingly just the same as
I charge any one else.
Influenza Patient-Oh, but you
ought to make a reduction for me-.
Why, I introduced the influenza into
the neighborhood-
THE PROFESSORS ooNUNDRUM.
Professor" they said. ''give us a
deep metaphysical conundrum."
"Well," he said, after a moments
thought, s'when is which what ?"
They gave it up.
when it is neither, explained the
professor.
And when they had studied it out
they understood.
THE HISTORIC REMARK.
ssLet us on |" cried the army I'm
patiently.