The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1898-01-08
THE RENTED COW.

mer. Cost too much. -
Gather said John, 'swhy don't you
rent cow?''
bright boy, . exclaimed. ssI will. -
Well, 1 looked high and low, and at last
I found COW and rented her. A sweet
thing she was, Jersey, pretty as picture,
and We turtles of Amsterdam, how she
could go I've seen her feeding quietly in
the pasture at 40 and looking as limo
cent as a calf, and at :35 she was two
miles away in John Slocum's corn. The
first thing after breakfast I would call up
the coachman.
''Lloyd, is the COW all rightP'' would
ask.
ayes, sir, y he would reply
Keep your eye on her, Lloyd. don't
want any complaints today"
"All right, sir. will, sir y
Half an hour after farmer would walk
up to the front gate driving a COW before
him. He'd halt and look up at me with a
little twinkle in his eye.
Be this your crittcr, Mr.. Jones?''
cit looks like her, . I'd say courteousIy.
s4But I think ours is in the pasture. -
''Well, I wish you'd find out. If faint
yours I've got to go to Jim Banks with
her,
I would call up Lloyd and ask, els the
COW in the pasture, Lloyd?''
Gwen, sir, she was till ten minutes ago,
when I took my eye of her and went to
See if she's there now
lloyd would grin.
s'That she amt, sir That's her by the
post there. .
''How do you know that's our cowP''
II know her, sir. That's her sure, the
little devil
Then I'd pay damages and we'd put up
the COW. And the same scene would be
enacted with a different farmer the next
day.
The corn that COW ate, the meadows she
trampled down, the gardens she browsed
over, and the miles she walked were, and
are still, a source of inexhaustible wonder
to me. She climbed the hills into Nod,
she roaned down Chicken street, she
waded into the reservoir, she mounted
Olmstead hill where, with a glass, we dc
scribed her outlined against the sky and
sent Lloyd to rescue her. Whether it was
that pride revolted at being rented, not
owned, or whether she took mischievous
delight in tor1nenting US because we hailed
from the city L do not know. Certain it
was that no fence could restrain her, no
eye be watchful enough to hold her in
check.
Now we live l y miles from the station
l come from the city every day with pleas
ure, but afte- hard work there all day does
any one think I want to walk that per-
pendicular 1 = lniles-for it's up hill all
the way-for my health? But that s what
I had to do time after time when Lloyd
turned his back on the cow and she va
moosed the ranch. Then Lloyd went off
to look for her, and 1, as the country folks
say, hoofed it hum
The end came at last One day the COW
had disappeared usual, and Lloyd in
consequence of my repeated commands,
expressed with more fervor than devout-
ness, had driven down to the station and
then started of on his daily hunt. 1t was
CI1oe in nqt nj 7,
appeared driving the COW just as 1 got off
the train.
'Hello, Lloydl'' cried. scot the cow?''
eyes, sir.
s'seo hercl It viii take you half an hour
to drive her home. Fasten her to the back
of the wagon and Jump in
Lloyd looked doubtful do you think
she'll go that way, sir?''
go? OF course she'll 60 I'd like to
see her help herself if she's tied to the
back axle of this wagon, with the horse
trotting in front. Get rope from the
postmaster and come on
Lloyd got rope and fastened it around
the cows horns. Then he looked up at
me.
Don't you think, sir, it would be better
if you held the end of the rope? Then if
she didn't like it and acted bad you could
let go. Cows are very uncertain animals
sir, and they're took queer sometimes,
L
Hold the rope? Not a bit of it. She'd
yank me out of the wagon just from spite,
and if let go of the rope we'd have to
chase her all night over the mountain yon-
der. Tie her to the axle and get in
So Lloyd made her fast to the back axle
and got in and we started. The next mo
1nent there was a below of fright and in
dignation, an infuriated COW climbing
into the back end Of the wagon and
found myself over in the meadow beside
the road without knowing how 1 got there.
Then the COW. stood on her hind legs Then
she stood on her fore legs. Then she braced
herself, all four feet wide apart, and tug
ged at the rope with might and main
Then she tried to toss the wagon and gave
it u fine tip, sending Lloyd half way over
on the horses back. Then she tried to run
around and catch the horse who was
backing and plunging in fear. Then she
climbed into the wagon again. Then she |
did everything she had done before all at
once.
1 cannot give the details of what fol-
lowed. 1 only know that 1 had a fieeting
vision of Ferris wheel, small but very
active, conglomerate of horse and COW
and wagon, whose spolzes flew around with
inconceiVable rapidity and ear splitting
erackings till suddenly there came burst
of fragments and then an immeasurable
silence and 1 lay back on the grass in a
dead faint.
'Sakes alive, Mr.. Jones'" the local
butcher was saying when I came to, Il
wouldn't give you 2 shillings for that
there COW. No, sir, I'd lose money on her
if did. Why, she's nothing bu5 mince
meat, that COW ain It, nothing but minee
meat And she's so mixed up with wagon
spokes that II have to put her five times
through the grinder or people II think I've
taken to giving toothpieks along with
their bologna .
You're welcome to the cow said 1
feebly as 1 climbed into kindly neigh
boris wagon, but don't you bring me
any of your bologna. New York Sun.