The Wilmington daily Republican. (Wilmington, Del.) 1890-1902, 1898-05-26
OUTWITTED.


very bad humor. The farm-boy-
whom he had Just hired, and was con-
sequently green at the business
whom he had set to work, hoeing pota-
toes, had hacked several hills Of fine
plants all to pieces, thereby greatly
exasperating the farmer, who had CIV
en- him sounding crack on the head,
and had recommended him to proceed
with all possible alacrity to a place,
the name Of which we shall not men,
ton here, but which, for the edifca-
ton of the unsophisticated, we will
state is supposed to be situated in
rather warm locality-and then,
with his wrath rather on the increase
than otherwise. Mr.. Wilson had
marched into the house, with very
cross:
Jane, is dinner ready?"
Mrs. Wilson looked quietly up from
her sewing.
mot quite, my DEAR" she replied
In an unrufIled voice; "the fire has
bothered me good deal this morning,
and haven't been able to get 1t ready
as soon as expected. 1t will be done
in few minutes now, though
That's always the way" growled
Mr.. Wilson, savsgely, nothing is
ever ready, or gets done at all, in this
house! Everything is at skies and
sevens, and as wretched and miserable
as 1t can be! Never saw such absurd
management in all my life! What's
the matter with your fire, should like
to know?" and going toward the stove
be flung open the door and gave the
fire a wrathful shake.
IT you go on that rate, my dear,
you'll soon have stove, dinner and
everything else over on the floor"
remarked Mrs. Wilson, quietly.
Mr.. Wilson turned furiously around,
and seeing an amused smile on his
wifes face, bounded to his feet.
"You-you make fun of me, do
your" he sputtered, excitedly; "you
laugh at and ridicule what l do!
declare, there Is no use in my trying
to live any longer. There, that con-
founded boy has done me about fifty
dollars worth of damage and then I
come in here only to find everything
going to ruin! There's no use trying
to stand 1t any longer! I'll go right
down stairs and shoot myself, de-
clare l will"
Now 1t happened that Mrs. Wilson
had heard this threat number of
times before, and knew just how much
it was worth; Snd scarcely percepti-
BILE smile fitted over her lips, while
roguish twinkle lurked in the corner
Of her eye, as she asked:
do you really mean it, my dear?"
eyes, do" growled her dear"
provoked at her GOODNESS, unless
you'll have the dinner on the table in
less than five minutes"
II should be happy to oblige you,
II 1t was possible, my DEAR" return
ed Mrs. Wilson, composedly, "but, I'M
fortunately, 1t is impossible just now"
Then I'll do it!-by Jove, will"
exclaimed her irate lord, as he strobe
over to a corner Of the room, and took
up a small musket that stood up
against the wall. Il don't mean to
stand this kind of thing any longer!"
well, good-by, my DEAR and Mrs.
Wilson stretched out one pretty white
hand, but without noticing it, other
wise than by growl, the highly-abus-
ed Mr.. Wilson stamped wrathfully
down cellar.
He'll be in in about five minutes"
said Mrs. Wilson to herself, knowing
that whatever might be the present
policy Of her lord and master, he
wouldn't be In such hurry to put an
end to his earthly career by the time
he reached the bottom of the cellar
steps, and, therefore, feeling no anx-
iety on his account. II guess III i'm
prove the time by setting the table,
and that will put him in a somewhat
better humor, hope"
She put away her sewing, and set
about the work very composedly, and
had got the table about half set when,
from the cellar she heard the report
Of a gun. For moment she started
nervously and laid her hand on the
door Of the cellar; then an assuring
smile came to her face, and she pro-
ceeded with her occupation, as II
nothing had happened.
Meanwhile let us follow Mr.. Wilson
for few moments, and see how he
succeeded in his heroic enterprise.
He pitched angrily down cellar, as
We have said, with his gun in his
hand, hesitating on each step, and ex-
pecting every moment to hear his
wife's voice calling him back. His
plan did not work, however, as well
as he had expected, and as no such