davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The St. Johns herald., 1898-01-15
Inculeating Verbal Correctness.


 The Gradgrlnds of this world are try ing persons to live with. They will not permit the slightest variation from fact; statements made in their hearing must be truthfully precise, or they dis pute them forthwith. You have got into a chronic way of contradicting everything I say, Lobelia," said MT. McSwat. When I tell you that 1t thundered and frightened in the night presume you will try to find some ex- cuse for disputing it.' Last nightY' "Yes." Do you mean to tell me it thundered and frightened last nightY' q certainly do." Well, do not be- ueve it." You don'tT snorted Mir. McSwat. 'Will you please give me some sane, decent, respectable reason for not believing itT Certainly, Billi- ger," responded Mrs. McSwat, with her accustomed sweetness. 'T refuse to believe that 1t thundered and light ened last night because I was awake at the time and I know 1t frightened and thundered." Whereupon Billiger went up into the garret and made loud, profane remarks to the dust-covered, moth-eaaen garments that hung from the nails in the rafters.
The St. Johns herald., 1898-01-15

England Is becoming greatly concern cd by the inroads made by the United States upon British trade in the West Indies, and is trying to find out the reason for them. According to the Blue Book, the chief reasons for the preference shown for American prod ucts are these: More attention to local requirements, superior finish, lower price, more careful packing and ab sence of any special charge therefor cheaper freights, and more rapid com munication. This explanation seems tC cover the ground.
The St. Johns herald., 1898-01-15

When one remembers that but little more than a generation ago South Carolina was not only without a fac tory of any kind, but made a speciality of opposing the manufacturing inter. ests of the North, 1t seems strange to hear now that she leads all the South. ern States in cotton manufacturing. She has flfty-four mills running at present operating in all nearly 1,0OO,, 900 spindles and consuming yearly 14S, ,767, ,042 pounds of cotton. Her cot ton crop this year will be in round numbers SO0,000 bales, of which the home mills will consume 327,00O, or about 40 per cent. of the entire crop.
The St. Johns herald., 1898-01-15
Artificial Teeth.

The use of artificial teeth is of an cient origin. Two curious specimens of artificial teeth from the Etruscan tombs, dating from four or five cen turies before the Christian era, may be seen in the museum of Corneto, on the coast of Italy, in the mouths of two young girls. On the jaw of ono may still be seen two incisors fixed to their neighbors by small gold rings, while in the. other, the rings remain, h,,tstfSe artificial teeth have fallen out. The teeth, carefully cut, had evidently been taken from the mouth of some large animal.
The St. Johns herald., 1898-01-15

The press laws. and more especially that dragnet known as lese majeste, as administered in Germany, disgrace civilization. Almost daily some editor or some mere clown is pulled up and fined or sent to prison, or both, for a passing and respectful criticism of i'm perial rant and nonsense, or for some clumsy witticism about his royal high ness coat or the way his nibs sits his horse! We cannot conceive of a high spirited and brave people enduring such insult tamely, without resenting it violently.
The St. Johns herald., 1898-01-15

Jewels of Life.-Many spend their labor gathering life's waste and throw away life's jewel.-Rev. Frank Crane, Methodist, Chicago, III.
 Good and Creative can all be good and great if we but try. We may not reach the goal for years, but the goal will be reached at last-Mrs. Booth Tucker, Salvationist, Chicago, III.
 Love for Humanity.-When we have the right love for frail humanity we will live for some good purpose, and our lives will be a great blessing to others.-Rev. G. w. Perryman, Bap- tist, Cincinnati, O.
 Greed of Gold.-Do we not know that our one besetting evil is the wOr- ship of gold? For money we sell our health of body and peace of mind, our sons and our daughters.-Rev. T. B.. Gregory, Universalist, Chicago. III.
 Liberalism Orthodoxy has insisted for 100 years that liberalism was dy- ing in this country. Our brethren should learn wisdom and hold the an ,,our1cc1nent until tllc obsequics are fully performed.-Rev. R. A. White, Universalist, Chicago, III.
 Progress and Posterity.-A man ought to educate his family in the be- lief that his son ought to be better man and fill nobler place in society than himself. He ought to believe in progress. Have hope for posterity.- Rev. J. J. Muir, Baptist, Washington, D. c.
 Great Names.-We want imperish- able names, characters, which will stand the test of time. The world S history glows with names of it's he roes, and they stand in a grand pro- cessiOn before our imagination-Rev R. G. Seymour, Baptist, Philadelphia, Pa.
 GOds.-''ThOu shalt have no other gods before me" strikes a death blow to the god of power and the god of money, and the god of profession, and the god of stomach, and the god of so cial life, and all the gods on the thrones of a big city.-Rev. c. Myers, Baptist, Brooklyn, N. Y.
 The Living Wire.-Electricity was al ways floating in the air. Only recently have we found wire to make it light our homes and help our work Jesus is the living wire, to bring to us in un- broken currents the cheer and power of GOd.-Rev. c. L. Thompson, Pres byterian, New York City.
 The Sabbath.-As God crowned the six days of creation with the seventh day of holy rest, so let the days of your honest labor become sanctified by the solemn rest and devotion of that day, which is the glorious crown of our week.-Rev. H. w. Schneeberger, Hebrew, Baltimore, Md.
 Saloons.-Public opinion has done much to reduce the liquor traffic and make it unpopular. and has uiace6 t under a law The Anti-saloon League has reduced the number of saloons and drinking places in Washington 26O in four years.-Rev. J. W. Duppy, Metbo- dist, Washington, D. c.
The St. Johns herald., 1898-01-15

A Pittsburg cat accidentally got it. self locked up in Pittsburg ballot-b
 The box was sealed and a judge of election decided 1t would be a violation Of the law to open 1t. The cat proceed ed to have spasms in the midst of the ballots of couple of hundred of the Tree men of Pittsburg, in the course of which, with teeth and claws, 1t reduc- Cd the evidence of the popular will to lnustinguishable flinders. The incl dent presents delicate question. If cats are to be left locked in ballot. boxes, 1t may result in the partial dis tranchisement of the people. If. on the other hand, mere cat in a ballot box Is to furnish an excuse for opening the box at an improper time, organizations of rascally politicians may be enat,Ad
The St. Johns herald., 1898-01-15

Social life is a response to charac- ter. The selfish man Is convinced of the selfishness of his neighbors, while the generous man sees only their kind Illness. The cold heart thinks that hu- manity is barren of affection, while the loving spirit finds it OverflOwing all around him. Deceit is ever dis trustful, while sincerity extends the cordial grasp of confidence. The pas sionate meet with violence, and the rude with rUdeness, while the gentle and courteous rejoice in the gentleness and courtesy extended to them. Each quality has a magnetic attraction by which it draws out its like in others, the bad eliciting what is bad, the good and pure drawing out and developing goodness and purity.
The St. Johns herald., 1898-01-15

FUSS IN THE BOX. b a llots were thrown in and the box was locked and sealed. In the course of the night Aid. Fritz, while hunting for his cat, dis covered that she was in the ballot boxbox. The election officers were sent for, but, fearing a violation of the law, they refused to open the box. The next day, after consultation with legal counsel, it was decided that the box should be opened, and this was done. The cat was released, but the ballots had been destroyed by the cats violent efOrts to get out of it's prison
The St. Johns herald., 1898-01-15

An assassin made an attempt upon the life of the President of Mexico. He was arrested and held in confinement. By the connivance of the chief of po- lice, a mob gained possession Of his person and put him to death. Their act of violence was intended as an act of devotion to, and affection for, a wise and good ruler. To the president him. self the form of the compliment robbed 1t of its value. Its lawlessness defeated his purpose to give the crim- inal a fair trial. He held those who took the mans life in a vulgar fury to be guilty of murder. Accordingly he caused the arrest of the chief of police, who, after confessing his fault, com- mitted suicide in prison. Other per sons in authority, who had approved or failed to resist the attack upon the assassin, were promptly deposed from office; and twenty-one participants in the actual killing of the man were ar rested and held for trial. This is the way President Dlaz deals with lynch CTS and their abettors It is good way. It emphasizes the fact that mob vengeance, while 1t may seem an act of justice in the abstract, really de- feats justice and imperils society by it's method. Fury imposes no respect, and the stroke of rage has no solemnity. The only impressive treatment of crime, and the only one consistent with social safety, is public trial and pub lie punishment. This is orderly and dignified; and no surer way is found to fasten guilt and rescue innocence than by the established forms of law.
The St. Johns herald., 1898-01-15
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THE PINHEAD MAGNIFIED.

distinctness on the head of an ordinary pin-the exact size of which is shown in the accompanying illustration. Un- der the magnifying glass the letters and figures appear as shown above, and the work is regarded by competent judges of engraving to be excellent. MT. Whitehouse has been at Noter- mans for many years, having there learned engraving and designing, at both of which he is an expert.
The St. Johns herald., 1898-01-15

In Constantinople daily and weekly papers are published in a dozen differ ent languages, but they must submit all advance proofs to a government censor, who permits nothing to be printed without his mark of harm less" One of the coroner's rules Is to cut out all news of assaults on crowned heads. The death of Presi' dent Carnot was given to the Turkish public as caused by an illness lasting several days.
The St. Johns herald., 1898-01-15

How He Reasoned 1t Out. Papa-Charley, please hand me that book, on the table. there.
 Charley (aged 9)-There he is, papa. Papa-No, my son, you should not say there he is,' but there 1t is." Charley-WhE, papa, its hymn book, isn't IL it7-Cleyeland Leader.
The St. Johns herald., 1898-01-15

In Cleveland a young man who at- tempted to hug a pretty girl whom he had never seen before fell out of a thjrd-story window and was severely injured. Served him right; such an un- dertaking always should be strictly on the level.
The St. Johns herald., 1898-01-15

Jewels of Life.-Many spend their labor gathering life's waste and throw away life's jewel.-Rev. Frank Crane, Methodist, Chicago, III.
The St. Johns herald., 1898-01-15

Great Britain may boast that her drumbeat Is heard round the world. The United States will very quickly, even if she cannot do so now, be able to boast that the sun never sets upon the handIwork of her inventors and manufacturers-that through their ef- forts, she moves the world
The St. Johns herald., 1898-01-15
Tho Imnortant Consideration.

'T don't know what this country IS coming to!' exclaimed the pessim1st.
 sYou are on the wrong track" replied the official, as he signed the order keep Ing out an anarchist. "The thing to worry about is what is coming to thls country" y."-Washingt Star.
The St. Johns herald., 1898-01-15

The Arabs of the Nubian desert sup. posed they knew all about their coun- try, but an engineer recently bored a wellseventy-fEem mites from the Nile and 1000 feet above the river. and found an abundant supply of water at the depth of 56 feet. When the we'll was begun the Arabs stood by and joking ly assured the engineer that he would reach water when he got down to the Nile level.
The St. Johns herald., 1898-01-15

She-Mamma Is going to give us an elegant breakfast after the wedding. He-How about lunch and dinner?- Detroit Journal.
The St. Johns herald., 1898-01-15

Great Britain, in the interests of peace, Is now engaged in constructing f1fty-three war vessels. 1t takes an awful lot of war preparation to pre- serve peace In the older countries of the world.
The St. Johns herald., 1898-01-15

By the will of its late mistress Bos- ton parrot will enjoy for life the income from a trust fund of $4,000. A pru- dent condition is that the bird must not be placed on public exhibition. A plutocratic parrot would have no diff1- culty in getting a museum engage mont
The St. Johns herald., 1898-01-15

Many things conspire to prevent the dancing masters abolishing the waltz. It's such a convenient way for young people to get around each other as well as around the room.
The St. Johns herald., 1898-01-15

to evade the laws by buying up herds os cats and popping them into the bal lot boxes at each polling place. There seems no way out of such dilemma, unless independent voters organize and kill all the cats in town before election.
The St. Johns herald., 1898-01-15

Some think the arrows in the eagle s claws on the silver dollar are wheat. The American eagle isn't a grain-eater' but 1t wouldn't matter If it was always dollar wheat.
The St. Johns herald., 1898-01-15
Hadn,t Thought of That.

"Td like to know" exclaimed the en- ragged client, ''why I ought to feel ju- bilant over the outcome of this caseY'
 Didn't We obtain a verdict for $1O,- 0OOY' the lawyer asked.
 "Yes, but you got about all of 1t. What good does it do meY'
 My dear sir. the other fellow feels just as bad as if every cent of 1t were going into your poeketr'
The St. Johns herald., 1898-01-15
Saving the Money,

wonder why 1t Is that we never see Miss Blythe and MT. Gay at the thea ter any mOre?'
 "Oh, they're engaged now"
The St. Johns herald., 1898-01-15
ALL ON A PINHEAD.
Alphabet and Figures Engraved on a
 Very Small Surface.

The alphabet and the figures one to ten on a pinhead. It hardly seems pos sible to engrave so many characters up on such a small surface, but that feat of microscopic engraving was accom- plished by MT. Joe Whitehouse of Mill dale, Ky, a young designer at Noter- mans, on Race street. The thirty-six characters are cut out with peculiar
The St. Johns herald., 1898-01-15

The novelist who marries his hero to a thew" woman will have hard work to convince his readers that they lived happily ever after.
The St. Johns herald., 1898-01-15
Neither,

Junior-I don't know what to think of Miss Knice. Either she is awfully good natured or she is half-fool. She IS smiling all the time.
 Senior-Has she good teeth!
 Junior-Perfect.
 Senior-It is safe to say she is not fool; but it does Tot follow that she IS awfully good-natured.-Boston Tran script
The St. Johns herald., 1898-01-15
A Counter Irritant.

"Were those cough drops beneficial"
 "They worked Ike a charm. They have such q horrible taste that the children have all stopped coughing."- Boston TraYeler.
The St. Johns herald., 1898-01-15

Kipling apparently Is losing his grip. He has published poem of eight stan gas on "White Horses" and there isn t in 1t even a hint about the red-headed girl
The St. Johns herald., 1898-01-15

A St. Louis court holds that flirting is not a sufficient excuse for divorce 4AIaAJ parts or the country 1t is re garded as sufficient excuse for a flu neral however.
The St. Johns herald., 1898-01-15
Warming.

He hung upon the gate with her And now lies in the mold; But her father didn't knock him out He caught his death of cold.
The St. Johns herald., 1898-01-15

Delaware's not allowing women to nractjce law in the courts of that State is a kind of bar to the new womans uroOross
The St. Johns herald., 1898-01-15

a cat jumped into the large empty
 ballot box and went to sleep. The cat was unnoticed by the counters and the work continued. When the count was finished the
The St. Johns herald., 1898-01-15

If the chrysanthemum has no other significance in the language of flowers it might be taken to mean better late than never.
The St. Johns herald., 1898-01-15
Yelled Sarcasm.

He-The falling water made such noise that I couldn't hear myself talk. She-Oh, how I wish 1 could have been there But it's just my luck.
The St. Johns herald., 1898-01-15

If suffrage were general some women might vote, but the sum total woulo be affected by the circumstance of man and wife being paired.
The St. Johns herald., 1898-01-15
In the AfterWard.

What strange ideas children get about religious mattersT'
 "Yes, and how few ever get over themr-Detroit News.
The St. Johns herald., 1898-01-15
Her Idea of 1t.

Matte (reading)-What is the 'pale of civilizationT
 Helen-Oh, it's some new Eind Of face powder, suppose.
The St. Johns herald., 1898-01-15
They Are Learning.

''Is there any probability that the pc lice will ever find out anything about this mysteryT
 T think there is. They are keeping right at the heels of the reporters"
The St. Johns herald., 1898-01-15
.o Re an Editor.

.,,,o RaT pr. Thirdly is a great con denser. isn't hep ~. "A condenser? How so!
 ..You know he has a record or I'4oV marriages and must, therefore, nave condensed 4,SOO people into just half that number"
The St. Johns herald., 1898-01-15
A Hot Time.

The Bellows-If 1t wasn't for me you'd soon be out of a place.
 The Fire-Well, you needn't be blow ing about 1t all the time.
The St. Johns herald., 1898-01-15

The man who goes about wishing ne bod naver been born is not the only one that regrets 1t.
The St. Johns herald., 1898-01-15
pTTRTJsHED EVERY SATURDAY

Although supposed to be secret the ballot usually tells an interesting story the next day.
The St. Johns herald., 1898-01-15
No Infringement.

Ethel-I'm sorry to see you so very distant with your uext-door neighbor, Jack van Dusen. The Bible says you should love your neighbor as yourself, you know.
 Dorothy-Yes; but I'm not st all stuck on myself, you know.-Judge.
The St. Johns herald., 1898-01-15
JET US ALL LAUGH.
JOKES FROM THE PENS OF
 VARIOUS HUMORISTS.

Pleasant Incidents Occurring the World Over-say ings that Are Cheer- full to Old or Young funn' Selections that You Will Enjoy.
The St. Johns herald., 1898-01-15
Business Advances.

"Have you made any advance in your business" asked the young lawyers friend.
 "Yes," was the reply; two of them" "Clients?"
 "No; my clerks. They said they need ed money, so ! advanced them S1O each."-Washington Post.
The St. Johns herald., 1898-01-15
Where TheuF

Mrs. Benham-In the next world peo- ole will be doing the same they do ln this.
 Benham-I don't believe 1t. Now, am a night clerk How am 10 get work in my line If I go where there IS DO night? Answer me.
 Mrs. Benham-That's easy-you won't go there.-Judge.
The St. Johns herald., 1898-01-15
Cruel Old Man.

He-Did you tell your father that l would kill myself If I couldn't have you?
The St. Johns herald., 1898-01-15
Fuss Didn't Want to Vote.

While the election board of the Fourth district of the Thirty-firs ward of Pittsburg was counting the ballots,
The St. Johns herald., 1898-01-15
Nd e.ee.,. -. It.

visltor-I presune your daughter plays the pianoE
 Mrs. Neuyoriche tproudIy)-No, in deed. Dear Ethel doesn't have to. Her pa is rich enough 10 buy one of those pianos which plays itself.-Harper's Bazar.
The St. Johns herald., 1898-01-15
Whats in a Name.

"After all," said the college presi' dent, football has one good point" What is it?" asked the preacher.
 People who play it get over the hab- it of kicking at things"
The St. Johns herald., 1898-01-15

Smith-Seeing is believing.
 Jones-Not always. It often depends upon what paper you see 1t in.
The St. Johns herald., 1898-01-15
Airy persifaRe,

The pneumatic saddle-W What are you wheezing. about2
 The tire-WeO, l guess you wouldn't feel so puffed up If you had stepped on a tack.-Exchang
The St. Johns herald., 1898-01-15

Butcherl have some nice canvas back ducks this morning.
 Mrs. NeE bird- How lovely! How much are fhey 3 yard?
The St. Johns herald., 1898-01-15
Fowl Play.

Rooster-Why, Biddy, what's the matter?
 Biddy-Oh, I'm up against a peck of trouble
The St. Johns herald., 1898-01-15
Where They Fell Down.

q see that the president of the sugar trust has undergone an operation for appendicitis and is coming along all light.'
 'Well, the doctors might have known better than to tackle him."
The St. Johns herald., 1898-01-15
Cause and Effect.

Jack-Have cigar? Tom-No. I've given up smoking. Jack-When does the wedding take place?
The St. Johns herald., 1898-01-15
Her Patriotism.

Mrs. Rawson-Why are you so glad that Bulwinkle was elected? I thought you never took any interest in poll
The St. Johns herald., 1898-01-15
Hard T,uCE-.

Things go by contraries in thi' world" she sighed.
 "Why do you think sop he asked.
 "As soon as they quit sprinkling tht streets the weather man makes it i'm possible to ride a wheel"
The St. Johns herald., 1898-01-15
Looking Ahead.

''Yes; he told her he had seen a mouse in it."-Yonkers Statesman.
The St. Johns herald., 1898-01-15

Mrs. Hawkesworth-But my husband won enough on the result to buy me a new sealskin sacque.
The St. Johns herald., 1898-01-15
She-Ye.

He-What did he say?
 She-He said that settled it. You couldn't have me.
The St. Johns herald., 1898-01-15
St. Louis Republic.
Not Declined

Not Declined. From a maid the poet stole kiss That far above his poems ranks; Because it filled his heart with bliss When it was returned with thanks.
The St. Johns herald., 1898-01-15
SIaudered,

"They tel me, Jehiel, that you change you politics as often as you do unnr coat n
The St. Johns herald., 1898-01-15

'Tt's dad-goned He. git new coat every time I vote, but l don't always have to change my politics, b'goshr'- Indianapolis Journal.
The St. Johns herald., 1898-01-15
SO!
So It Does

BiddyI just swallowed bee by mistake, thinking 1t was fly.
The St. Johns herald., 1898-01-15
A Geuius.
.t's he done now?

Crimsonbeak-That man Keys Is a genius.
 Yeast-What's he done now?
 'Why, he devised a plan to keep his wife from playing the piano."
The St. Johns herald., 1898-01-15
Infortnnafe.
easy-you

Kind Lady-Poor fellow have you no friends?
 Hap Haze rd-No, mum, hain't got nobody but relatives. .-Cincinnati Flu qulrer.
The St. Johns herald., 1898-01-15
Whaf He Dreaded.

"Why is 1t you never come around to see us any more, Charley? Have we ever done anything 10 offend youT'
 ''No, it's nothing you've done, but, If you insist upon having the truth, it's your children"
 Our children, Why, what on earth do you meanF'
 You see, they've got old enough to recite now"
The St. Johns herald., 1898-01-15

-FO -IAi7 tdhEas
 It was on the eve of their bridal day Perhaps, after an,' he faltered, ga5 ing tenderly, yet seriously, down int her lustrous eyes, i've shall make mistake in marrying"
 How you frighten me, Edwin" sh exclaimed, with a shiver Come, le us rehearse again and make assuranc doubly sure "-Detr0it Journal.