The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1898-07-03
SWEARING WITH NO WORDS
TIE BIBL ADVOCATE DISCOVERS
THIS OLD PROFANITY,

mud Far sHore Destructive TO Furnitara
and Oiher Things which Are Near at HAVE.
Cuss words, II seems, arc OF various kinda,
Pharisccs, who have never so much as said
"Geewhillikinsi' will please remember this.
Let not the spirit of mortal DO proud because tho
mortal has never said 'Goshl'' There are sew
eral ways OF swearing.
The only recognized way, OF course, lie TO say
those words which got into literature only by
the tips of their toes. so to speak. They are the
words which polite printers try to kill by the
hari.kari method. That Is to say, they cut ont
he middle of a words anatomy, put a long dash
there and print tho first and the last letters,
like this.
"D--nl'
That word, before 1t fell into the hands Of the
polite printer, was one kind Of a cuss word.
Sometimes these words can't get even their toes
into literature and have 10 make their bow By
Il sort or n proxy. like this:
'Blnnkity.b blank. blank"
As n matter of fact this blanklty word doesn't
belong there Mt all. It's nothing but an old
slab-sidcd, weak jointed manikin. But It 10
favored by polite authors who can't really keep
their characters from saying IN occasional cuss
word, hut who can break 1t gently to their read.
crs. Since Kipling declined TO break anything
gently. but allowed his troopers TO swear in
their own whole. souled way at Appropriate
paragraphs, English as she Is wrote has be-
come much enriched.
Cussing hitherto has been regarded as a mas.
culino prerogative. But it's a poor woman
nowadays who can't prove that her sex has en-
Joyed or suffered from about all tho proroga.
uVes there are going. One of them has found
out and classified a species of profanity which
she calls wooden swearing" 1t is especially
popular. Women and children indulge in IL.
There are persons who have held flatlrona
between their knees and cracked hickory nuts
on them with q hammer. The writer know n
young woman who did this. Well, as every
one knows, there are hickory nuts which are,
in expressive IL not logical language, the devil
and all for slipping. When the young woman,
who was Of an obstinate-that is to say, a per-
sistent-cast OF mind, came across one of those
slippery customers, she kept whackinY away
with a deter mination worthy Of a warshlp
bombarding a Spanish fort. The nut was like
the crow In the nursery rhyme, 1t few east and
1t flew west. and it otherwise changed its lati.
tude and longitude. Tho young woman with
the hammer always recovered IL, however, and
hit 1t another whack. or course, finally sho
missed the hickory nut and came down on her
thumb. 1t was q great come-down. A man,
under those circumstances and that hammer,
would have said things which the polite author
would have expressed thus:
"Blankity blank that blanked old hammerl"
But nice young women never use the antece.
dents for these blank cartridges of speeches, OF
course not. They would cut out their tongue,
perhaps. before they would say such thingR,
Consequently, all that the young woman in
question said was:
"Oo.oo-oo-oo!'
But-and here's the rub-meanwhile she
pounded n regular anvil chorus on that fatiron
coming later.
Also there was once a man. He was a very
good man. he was so good a man that he could
put up stoves. his own stoves, you know, with
the stovepipe a Ia last winter, but scrambled.
And when he had got it all together except ono
elbow turned over and gave him a showerbatho OF
SCOT. or when he had discovered that little
ing SO that a stovepipe viii be two inches
shorter in November than it was in May;
when he had reached any one OF these and other
crises. he never 80 much as said:
"Thunderation!"
All he did was to carry the pipe carefully to
the woodshed. where he threw it about with q
vlgor and an abandon which made the welkins
of back yards ring. The moral of this is also
some people have been known to miss a train.
It Is very hard to miss a train in private. One
p the most CALLING things about a sorrow Of this
grief and have 1t out. There are always 30
% %est y 9s%P' sil rfssT%a' T II .Saa %e sS e SsS SI hST : S Es%
vocal volcanics you're likely to cause q cold
are the colder the wave. On Occasions ike
this a man jams his bag into a seat, slams his
umbrella on tor, of 1t. kicks the cuspidor four
whitening glare. One moral Of this Is that you're
likely to break your umbrella and all the bottles
There is the golf girl. too. Even the incest
kind of a nice girl, whose reading is all OF the
even her stockings, will sometimes come upon a
golf crisis which was never arranged for The
with force enough en-; p 10 send d't a golf sEh" Bsl n1 to o King.
dom come and then hits nothing but a blade OF
grass, she is iikeiy to make a whirlinE dervish
take VOWS. For examples of tho things a girl
feels like saying, on such occasions. read the
doesn't say these things is a credit to her. But
she digs her heels viciously into tho dirt, and
thinks anything about it. And the moral OF
this is coming along with the rest of them. and,
So here I is. 1t is from tho Bible Adpocdte,
which ought to be a guarantee of its reliA-
bility:
Will never let your lips speak protane words; But
a good woman speak about not long ago. She called
"Irs a kini OF Swearing that many people besides
children are given TO when they are angry. Instead
Of venting their feelings IN o1ths. they slam doors.
t H'fe ABOUT /" and make AXE ali al the e noise "SSf they snfp possibly JUAN oaa.
"'I.n,t ms Just the same as swearing p she said.
do not say those awful words but they force tho
furniture TO make the noise. and 80 l call IL wooden
swearing"
There you are. Where now is the man. we
man or child who can say that he or she has
spcciesl Ana after all. II people are going
to let their angry passions rise to. the boil.
UNCOVER point, 1t seems as II this kicking and
slnmming sort OF swearing is just as bad as an
occasional big. big D.. Its harder on the furni.
ture and the woodwork, at any rate.
Some men spare the furniture and take 1t out
on the dog. In cases where a man Diously re.
trains from saying "Holy Moses!'' and only
kicks the dog. 1t Is very desirable to exercise
care In the selection Of this vicariouS animal.
A man who says jumping Jiminyl" when the
depths of his nature are stirred or he drops tho
poker on his toes can own any kind of Q dog
which suits his fancy. But a man who kicks
out hard ana suddenly on such occasions should
demand n certificate of good temper and bad
teeth whenever he lays in new dog supply.
Although the effects OF this wooden sort Of
swearing are often expensive and annoying. 10
is nevertheless well received in good society.
II is so picturesque. A woman generally has
last for he picturesque, consequently this kind
Vt profanity appeals TO her. Whom she is read
ing a book which makes her madden than hopn