Pullman herald. [volume] (Pullman, W.T. [Wash.]) 1888-1989, 1898-01-29
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| oils Journal.
Military Compliment.-Lieute
Good evening, Miss. You look like a
regiment of rosebuds tonight File.
Gende Batter.
They say all the necessarles of life
are very dear in the Klondike." Not
at all Ice is so cheap they can't give
| ii away."-Puck
| PhOtogra pher-"Now, try to look like
/ yourself" Noting the effecU-''WelI-
er, h-m; try to look like somebody
! else. "-Harlem Life.
! Johnny-"Papa, what is a facton?"
Papa-"It Is term used to describe
that section of the party to which you
do not belong. Puck
Friend-"This seems to be comfort
able fiat Harlemite-"It does 1t
makes that impression on everybody
who doesn't live in it."-Puck.
Elderly Coquette (sentimentally)-
Eyes, my dear Mr.. Assessor. love is
eternal" Assessor (frightened)-"S
perceive. "-Fliegende Batter.
Experience" said Uncle Eben, zig
er good teacher; but education is li'ble
ter be wasted on err man dat don pen
on muffin else. "--Washington Star.
A Long Head.-"Why does that hard
drinking Beasley wear his hat all the
timer For fear he can't get it on il
he takes it off cleveland Plain
Dealer.
Mistress Bridget. are there any let
tiers for me this morning. Bridget
only two postal cards, but there's
nothing of Importance in them.
geDde Batter.
A Dilemma.-"Well George. dear,
what do you think of my new hatT
II wish | knew" Knew what
"What am expected to think. ''-Cleye-
land Plain Dealer.
How 1t May Be.-"People are not
alike. and what suits one may not
please another" Il guess that's right.
What is one mans bicycle is another
mans juggernaut. Puck.
Il hear" said the zephyr, that you
have been raging through the north
west Never was a worse mistake
howled the blizzard. Il was quite
cool. indianapolis Journal.
He docking out at the window)--"It's
SO bright and cheerful within and 50
cold and gloomy without She
without What?" He-"Why, without
you, dearest. Chicago News.
Marriage" said the Sentimental
Girl, lis a lottery But the trouble
is said the Pessimistic Bachelor,
that the man takes most of the
chances. indianapolis Journal.
How He Filled in His Time.-Magis-
trate-"What do you do during the
week. Tramp--"Nothing.' Magis-
trate-"And on Sunday" Tramp
Then take II day off. "-Tit-Bits.
Hus band" Maria. wake up quick.
The house is on fire. You save the
baby" Wife-"Oh. my wheel my
WHEEL IIusband-"Come on, | car
red that out first. Rochester Herald.
First Mother-"Don't you find it a
great relief to have the children IN
school again. Second MOther-"WelI
1t would he if they didn't learn 50
many new questions to ask. -Tit-Bl'S'
Jean-"Why do you never speak to
Mr.. Outre? He Is uncouth, but | feel
sure he IL diamond in the rough.
Katherine-"S do l. That's why I'm
cutting him. Cincinnati Commercial.
Good Frlend.-"I have reason to sus-
pect that your husband Is flirting with
ether women. You ought to follow him
wherever he goes" Great heavens.
/ My husband is a postman. '-Fliegende
Blatter.
The Wise ProprietOr--Guest lin
cheap restaurant)-"Here, waiter. this
meal is simply vile. l won't pay for II.
Where's the PROPRIETOR Waiter
He's out at lunch, sir" philadelphia
Record
! Kate--"He seems extremely devoted.
He talks of going to the Klondike for
my sake" Beatrice-"Well, that would
give you two chances. He might come
back with fortune or he might not
come back at all."-Puck.
uel-Naomi-"He's a mean, insult
ing thing" Stella-'WhyY Naomi
II told him l didn't know whether to
70 to the opera or the play, and he said
l was old enough to choose for myself.
philadelphia American.
Mr.. Wiggles-"The true facts of the
case were that" Mrs. Wiggles I'm
terrupting)-"Joshua did you ever
know any facts that weren't trueE
And she never heard the rest of that
story Journal.