Lewiston teller. [volume] (Lewiston, North Idaho) 1878-1900, 1898-05-20
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,andlady-Have You a young man
,Ldept? Servant-No'm. He's older
ibe-Boston Courier.
4rbat story would be good If 1t wcr,
-, for one thing" What is that?'
q, ISN'T Chicago Post.
~ see that you're to leave the polio,
,,rce at the first Of the month. Tim.
yer. sir. Its bad sleepin' out in win
ws'
THAT young man is making a name
n, himself" whats his namc:'
.Lyzpwinskie." "Well, 1 don't bla III,
,,m"-New York Sun.
Bacon-Do you suppose it wa.
nodesty that prompted the author &c
vtthhold his name from that poem
Egbert-No. think 1t was prudence.
There" said the lady, pointing to
The woodpile. "how does that strike
puy Madam" responded Mr.. Per-
n Patetlc. II never saw the like
cincinnati Enquirer.
Frank-These young widows have an
advantage over you girls. because they
know all about men. May-Yes; and
because the only men who know all
about them are dead.-Puck.
Teacher-What do We learn from ths
rofy of Samson! Tommy with uu.
pleasant results still manifest)-That
doesn't pay ter have women folks
cut feller's hair.-Brooklyn Life.
Customer-Is the cashier in? Clerk
Yes; he's in. Customer-Where is he?
Clerk-ln Canada. Customer-Is the
proprietor in? Clerk-No: he's out.
Customer-How much !-Chicago News.
4 understand you have Joined the
literary brotherhood" YES" replied
loyelace. II am now writing for liv.
Ing" And he dashed Off another beg.
| ring letter to his father.-Strand Mag
izlne.
Miss Singer wonder IL that rich
\1ncle Of mine remembered me wnen
be made his will? l used to sing for
3him. Mr.. Law-I'm sure he must have.
He hasn't left you anything.-Yonkcrs
Statesman.
Customer-HOw comes 1t, sir, that
when ask for a number five shoe. you
give me number seven? Shoemaker
Why, my dear sir, you'll be so proud
Of those shoes that your feet will swell.
-Harper's Weekly.
Jasper-What do you think Howells
meant when he spoke about one Of his
characters being minded wom-
an! Jumpuppe-Oh. guess he meant
that she never thought about anything
except her own set.-Judge.
why did she get a divorce from her
husband?" asked the New York wom-
an who was visiting in Chicago. "Why,
there was no one she could get a di-
yorce from, was there!' was the sur
prised reply.-New York World.
1T Is the nature of child to he
wanting to do something" said the en-
thusiastic Undergraduate las far as
have noticed" said the mother of six,
1T Is the nature Of a child 10 be want
ing to do something else.'-Cincinnati
Enquirer.
These shoes you sold me last week
squeak SO that they keep me awake
nights" said the customer, entering
the shoe store. MY dear sir" replied
the shoe dealer, reassuringly, you
shouldn't sleep in them. "-Yonkers
Statesman.
Bacon-Let me shake your hand.
dear boy. This is one OF the happiest
days Of your life. Egbert-You're too
previous. old man. I'm not to be mar
red until tomorrow. Bacon-That's
what l say. This is one of the hap
plest days of your life.
NO man ever obtained anything
worth having without working for it,"
said Mrs. Bickers to her husband. who
was in discouraged mood. That's
&c., replied Mr.. Bickers. reflectivelv.
i remember that obtained you with
out the slightest difficulty"
Mrs. Hunt "a popular and prosperous
Muper)-Now, Albert, what'll yer sy.
When | tike yer into the kind lidys
arorin' room? Albert "a proficient pn.
pl)-Oh, all right. knOw-put on
beautiful lorst look, and sy. ooh, mnv-
yer, Is this 'eaveny'-Punch.
MIR. Binks latter an absence)--And
80 you shot burglar while here and
unprotected. You are a clever little
woman. What became Of him? Mrs.
nlhks-The other burglar carried him
on MIR. Binks-What Nther burs.aI!
Mrs. Binks-The one l aimed at.
Man. said the severe lady of the
mouse, man, don't you know that you
nave no right to be poor? Economy is
wealth. Yes, ma'am, sure" replied
never Workmuch, "that's right. I'm
making a good beginnin' on economy.
NO. l amt used any soap nor wasted
no water for tree months"
Mother-Mali, wish you'd never go
10 Frau Hofrathln's house! Daughter
but why not, mamma? Mother-l;e,
eause she's always gadding about tue
streets. Why. she actually has printed
VI her visiting cards, AT home Mon
uays from four o'clock" The Lori
Oai! knows where she can be the rest
VI The fimn