The Irish standard., 1898-09-24
The Irish Carman.

as he is styled in his native isle-enjoys
wide celebrity as comical fellow.
Sometimes his humor is absolutely un-
conscious. He says the quaintest things
imaginable without the slightest striv-
ing after effect or the least intention of
being funny. But oftenest he is con-
ciously droll. He possesses a rich fund
of natural wit and humor, a readines
in good humored retort and mel1iflous
brogue which makes him an excellent
travelling companion on a long drive.
A good example of the often audacious
humor of the jarveys is found In the
following authentic anecdote few
years ago there was a waiter in one of
the hotels in Dublin who was so Ill that
it was with difficulty he was able to
go about. He always made it a point to
stand at the door to see the visitors off.
A commercial traveller remarked to the
carman who drove him from the hotel
THAT poor waiter looks very i'll. I'm
afraid he won't last long" Last long
exclaimed the jarvey, sure he's dead
these two months, only he's too lazy to
tel. overhearing cardrivcr in Cork
asking an exorbitant fare of an unsus-
pecting foreigner, expostuated with him
on his exaggeration of the tariff, con-
cluding with the reproof, Il wonder you
haven't more regard for the truth"
Och, indeed, thin, I've CRATE dale
more regard for the truth than to be
draggin' her out on every palthry oc-
casion,' was the reply. The sarcasm OF
their rhetoric is, as a rule, deprived of
its sting by the quaint manner In which
1t Is employed. A very stout Dublin
citizen, whose trade was that of a fur
rier. once offered jarvey. at the end
of journey, the modest sum of six
pence. us that all you're givin' me?"
said the cardriver Indignantly. Yes
replied the furrier, that's your legal
fare; and it's all you'll get from me. so
take it and 60" The iarvay, seeing it
was hopeless to extract any more money
from the furrler. and determined to
have it out Of him somehow, concen-
trated all the scorn and contempt lie
could into his voice and facial express
sion. and exclaimed: "Arrah, go lang
out o that, ye ould boaconstructor." The
twofod allusion in this retort so tickled
the subject of it. that he never let slip
an opportunity Of repeating it.
A visitor to Ireland, who engaged a
car at the North Wall. Dublin, promised
the driver Is Cd more than his fare il
he succeeded in catching Il certain train
at kingsbridge. This the driver failed
to do. but he claimed the extra half
crown, notwithstanding. Sure, it's no
fault of ME or me baste that We missed
the train. yer homer he quantity
argued. It's all OWN to the lateness
on the boat and would yer homer lie so
hard as to punish me for that?"
The ways in which the drivers con-
Vey hints to fares are often very laugh
able. A long car full of passengers was
tolllng up one of the steep hills in the
>~'1>S VA w iNNio". uc ullNGF IpuDeu
down from his seat in the front and
walked by the side of the horse. The
poor beast wearily dragged it's heavy
load, but the passengers were too eager
ly engaged in conversation to notice
how slow the car progressed Present.
ly the driver opened the door at the rear
of the car and loudly slammed it to
again. The "insides" were somewhat
startled at first, and then thought the
driver was only assuring himself the
door was securely closed. For the Sec
ond time the man repeated the same
action; he opened the door and slam
med it to again with louder bang. One
OF the travellers inquired why he did
that. Whist" he whispered, "spake
low, or she'll ovcrhear u.s. Who's
she?' asked the astonishcd passenger,
who began to think the driver must be
mad THE mare, to be sure" he re-
piled, I'm disavin the creature. Every
time she hears the door slammin' that
way she thinks one of yez is gettin'
down to walk up the hill, and that rises
her spirits" The "insides' took the
hint