Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1898-09-07
THE TIDY HUSBAND.
He Is Even More Exasperating Than the
One Who Is Absolutely Careless.

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himself the very pink of perfection
as far as neatness goes, and yet who
has absolutely no idea of orderli
ness? His own belongings, clothes
pipes, books, etc, are allowed to lie
all over the house, and an attempt
to put these in their right places
brings down torrent of grumbling
OH his wife.
why cannot she mind her OWL
BUSINESS Is nothing private from
a woman's prying and curiosity
Let her confine herself to her own
duties, which would certainly be
improved by a little more care, " etc.
But other people S untidiness- ah,
that is a theme upon which he is
never weary of talking, and period
ically he has fits of tidying up at
home, where life for those in the
house is one long WEAKNESS!
Then nothing is private from his
prying and curiosity. Books and
papers are carefully sorted out and
put back in the wrong places; those
which his wife has especially laid
by for future reference are either
tied up with the waste paper to be
sold or sent out to the kitchen to be
burned; letters are torn up indis-
criminately, whether they are an
severed or not; the cupboard shelves
Are packed with lot of rubbish
which is really useless and which
was only waiting an opportunity to
be got rid of, and for the next few
weeks confusion reigns supreme.
Nothing can be found when it is
wanted because everything has been
put just where it shouldn't be.
When he has tired of making
himself thoroughly Objectionable
down stairs, he goes up stairs and
turns out all his boxes and drawers
and leaves them, for his fit of tidi-
hess does not last sufficiently long
TO allow of his reducing the middle
he has made to neatness. That is
for his wife to do later on.
With buster, too, he goes about
Ticking up imaginary particles of
dust which don't exist, and a piece
of string or reel of cotton out of
place apparently causes him agony
and is the subject of a long homily
on 1.-THE amount of rubbish which is
allowed to accumulate unless there
is some one to take an interest in
the house.
There are generally premonitory
symptoms to warn the observant
wife that the fit is coming on-a
restlessness, an aimless moving of
the ornaments on the manteipiece
and the reiterated question, Where
is that book Cor that paper) that /
was readingG" He signs frequently,
too-a sigh of WEAKNESS and hope
lessness-as a man who battles IN
successfully with the faults and fail
ings of others. His face wears
wearied. and heartbroken expires
sion, and little frowns appear on his
forehead. He refuses to make or
join in any lengthy conversation,
talking only in snatches and then
on the most gloomy subjects He
even heaves against his favorite
pipe, which refuses to draw" and
he spoils six matches for every one
that he lights, and by the next
morning his malady is fully devel-
oped, and as soon as breakfast is
over he begins to tidy up"
But, although one may see the
outbreak, it is difficult to know just
how to check it, and indeed it is
often wise to accept it as an inevita-
BILE discomfort. There are so many
worse cranks which he might take
up, and, as we are all supposed to
be slightly mad on one subject at
least, a mania for tidiness-in other
peoples at most harmless lido
syncrasy
If the fit threatens to be a very
bad one, it may be rendered less Sc
we're by extra sweetness and kind
ness of manner, by an excellent din
ner or by the judicious leading of
the thoughts in another direction.
Or the wife may anticipate her
husband and have a ''tidying up
spell on her own account. The bus
ting about, the extra dust-which
can always be raised if one goes the
right way to work-with a few
gloomy references to good clean
up will usually SO tire him out
that he will be only too. glad to al
low things to stay as they are, that
he may enjoy a little peace and
Huietness. Philadelphia Times.
A Peculiar Worm.