davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The representative. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1893-1901, 1898-03-30
PROGRESS IN ASTRONOMY,
The Law of the Variation Of Lati-
tudes Has Been Studied.

The discovery of the last 10 years which
has most occupied the attention of the pro-
fessiOnal astronomer Is that Of the varia-
tion Of ATTITUDES everywhere ON the sur
face OF the earth. the law of which has
been worked out by Chandler. writes Prof.
Simon Newcomb In the Forum. The varia-
ton does not involve any change in the
actual distance of points the surface of
our globe from each other, but only in the
position Of the axis Of rotation. If an OBJ
server could station himself at the north
pole and erect a stick at the precise point
around which the earth was at that mo-
ment rotat ting, he would find this point to
remain nearly in the same position all day.
or, perhaps, for q few days. But, in the
course of weeks, he would find it to
change Its position, and( by continuing his
observations through period OF several
years, he would find it to move round a
central point in a somewhat varying and
irregular curve. making complete revoau-
ton In about IA months
The greatest distance from the central
point might be Is to 80 feet, but the radius
of the circle In which the pole moves
ranges from between this distance and all
most nothing. An observer in 1883-84. or
seven years later, in 1892. would have
found the distance about 30 feet. But. dur
ing the following revolution while keep
ing up it's rotation, would have approached
very near the central point; 50 that, during
the years 1888 and 1S94-95 the amount
of change was very small. If Chandler 3
prediction be verified. the variation Is now
again approaching its largest value and
during 1898 will be as large as 1t ever was.
The probable cause Of the deviation Is
found in the annual changes undergone by
the motion of the great masses of air on
the earths surface, combined with the
deviation OF the earth itself from perfect
sphere.
The representative. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1893-1901, 1898-03-30
A SCIENTIFIC THIEF.
The Russian Thief's Dexterity As.
founded Even the Gar.


One day while dining together the French
ambassador and a grand duke of Russia
We're discussing the cleverneSs Of the pick
pockets of their respective countries. The
grand duke claimed that the Russian pick
pocket was the most skillful. Seeing the
amba ssador incredulous, he told him he
would, without knowing it, be relieved Of
his watch before leaving the table. He
then telephoned to the head of the police to
send at once the cleverest pckpocket he
could lay his hands on. The man came and
was put into livery and was told to walt at
the table with the other servants. He was
to give the grand duke a sign soon as he
had done the trick.
But thiSwas not given very soon for the
ambassador was very wary and always kept
on the alert and held his hand on his fob,
even when conversing with the most dis
tinguished guests
At last the grand duke received the pre-
concerted signal. He al once requested the
ambassador to tell him the time. The lat
ter trumphantly put his hand in his pocket
and pulled out a potato instead Of his
watch. To conceal his feelings he would
take a pinch Of snuff--his snuff box was
gone. Then he missed his ring from his
finger and his gold toothpick. which he had
been holding in his hand in its little case.
Amid the hilarity of the guests the sham
lackey was requested to restore the articles,
but the grand dukes merriment was
changed into alarm and surprise when the
thief produced two watches, two rings two
snuff boxes, etc. His imperial highness
then made the discovery that he himself
had been robbed at the same time that the
French ambassador had been despoiled 80
craftily-Syracuse Standard.
The representative. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1893-1901, 1898-03-30
She Passed.

"'What we want out here Is practical
schoolin',' said a director Of the Kansas
school district where 1 applied for job
of teaching We hain't got no use fur
furrin languages or highfillutins of no kind.
We're arter learnin' whatn help us do
business an lift mortgages
"'Youre utilitarians.' 1 ventured.
ono, miss, we're Poppalists, an l want
YOU to answer a few questions afore we
make any decker.
"Following is the list given me- said the
Young lady who narrated the incident,
spelling and grammar supplied by my
self:
(which is the greater document. the
Declaration Of Independence or the Chicago
platform and why?
why does hop vine wind one way and
a bean vine another?
"'Give the dimensions of a half bushe
and other measures of value
why does a horse jerk his head back
ward when he eats grass, and a COW shove
her head forward"
(which is the most useful, a steam ploW
or a horseless carriage? State fully
"Do you believe in sparing the rod or in
spelling the child"
Il answered everything and came out so
strong on the steam plow that the direct
ors insisted on giving me a life certificate.
I was a good deal stronger on farm knowl-
edge than on book learning, and they SIM
ply gave me a grand opportunity to play my
long suit"-Detroit Free Press.
The representative. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1893-1901, 1898-03-30
medicine
for Any Disease Set Down In the
Calendar.

Look here what I've got" said Walnut
Hills man, as he came home. "Great snap.
tell you." he added, as he unfolded lot
Of pitfalls and boxes, mono of them much
bigger than pill box.
What is IL" said his wife.
Medicine" he replied. Medicine for
every pain and ache l tell you that firm
Is benefactor to the human race. Why.
you can buy anything for almost every
disease for 10 cents a disease. Amt that
cheap? L got little circular in the mail.
ard L went to the drug store and got a
supply
Then he commenced unfolding first one
thing and then another.
That's for cold in the head. You sniff
it up your nose and the directions show
that it will kill it in an hour"
But none of the family has a cold In
the head"
Don't make any difference; they will
have one, and then the stuff is right here
ready for EN-.
Charcoal tablets for your breath he
ran on, land to take after smoking"
But we don't smoke said WHEY.
well, they're good to have around, any
how, in case of accident if of the
children should happen to have sour breath
You won't have to send for a doctor, any
how, will you? Here's some kind Of thing
used an antiseptic. Don't know what
that's for, but it only cost dime. and the
doctor SAID IL was all right. anyhow Hello,
here's something to soften the skin. You
can use that"
I'D like to see myself using a little old
ten-ceat preparation for the skin. None
OF it for me. Wasted your money, as
usual"
That's the way with you women. Think
If you don't pay three four prices for
thing it's no good Sooner call a doctor
If Tommy sniffles than to the remedies
I bring home. More fashionable, 1 guess.
All right, have your own way. I'll take
these to the office and use 'em myself when
i don't feel WE'LL"
Thus it was in the morning he took his
ten remedies to the office and they're there
yet.
The representative. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1893-1901, 1898-03-30
: HER PET CANARY.
A Girl Whose Life Is a Tragedy and
Continuous Performance.

Down on Fourth avenue there is a small
girl whose life is a tragedy--and contin-
uous performance too. She told good
natured old gentleman about it the other
day when he went into her fathers shop
to buy a canary. A bird shop is a con-
fusing sort of place. and the old gentle
man wandered about in a dazed, near
sighted way, listening to the proprietor
account of the virtues Of each bird Final
ly he took a fancy to an aggressive canary
that hurled torrents of musical defiance at
the would-be-purchaser. The owner Of the
shop was called away for few moments,
and presently the old gentleman became
conscious of a scrap of a girl Who was
looking at him out of big, fearful eyes.
"Pleath. thir," said the quavering little
voice. Then it stopped in sheer fright.
whats the matter. deare?" asked the
old gentleman, who mad grandchildren at
home.
The "dearie' was so distinctly encour-
aging that the child p,ucked up courage.
"Pleath, thir, buy another one, not thlth
one"
why mustn't l buy this one?'
The tears left the eyes and trckled
Down either side of an absurd little nose
It's always that way the forlorn little
maid walled. "Thutht ath thoon ath I
love them real much thomebody comth
and buyth them. I'm tho tired of getting
uthed to new ones. Thith it'll the withest
one of all. and l want to keep him my
theft. tho l do
She put a few inches Of soiled handker-
chief to her eyes, and the canary shrieked
his opinion Of old brutes who made little
girls cry.
why, bless my SOUL" exclaimed the old
gentleman remorsefully. You do have an
awful life, don't you? Now, don't you
worry. I'm not going to buy this canary"
The woebegone face frightened and she
smiled at him gratefully. Then she re-
lapsed into gloom.
''Thombody eth WILL she prophesied
dismally-New York Sun.
The representative. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1893-1901, 1898-03-30
FOR HER SAKE.
The Explanation of a Son-in-Law to
His FAther-fn-Law.

See heah," fumed the colonel after he
had called his son-in-law into the library
Il desi' an explanation Of you conduct,
sub. You go about lookin' as though you
had no friends. You distress my wife ard
dauteh, sub, and make YOU gloom a con-
tagion. Explain YOURSELF.
Il have nothing to say, colonel"
But I insist, sub. You had the audacity
to elope with my dauteh when she was a
romantic young miss, fob whom we had
otheh intentions, sub. l p'sued you to the
riveh. and 1 was aimed, sub. You made
you escape and was mated, sub. I fo'gave
you TO heb sake and have been fathen
to you. Now 1 demand to know what's the
match"
You say that you were armed when
you pursued us?"
Yes, suh.''
"You were well mounted and had a
posse?"
Yes, suh.''
I'VE were in a buggy and had but a
few minutes start; were going over a
rough road and had but one horse to de-
pend upon?"
Yes, suh"
Then, sir, why under the heavens didn't
you catch us and prevent the match?"-
Detroit Free Press.
The representative. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1893-1901, 1898-03-30
WAR NEWS.
A Boy Who Has the Faculty of Asking
u Great Many Real Hard Questions.

A gentleman who lives in the Parkside
has boy who is brighter than his daddy.
Like all bright boys, he got his informa-
ton by asking questions, and most of them
were questions fired at his papa OF course,
the mother had her share, but then boys
always think that papa knows more in a
minute than mamma knows in a year.
That's why they go to the fountain head
fof information
This boy has been crazy on the subject
of the war with Spain. Every picture of
a ship has been cut out Of the papers and
filed away for reference. All the papers
have been read for news on the subject
In short, the kid is we'll up on the ques-
ton.
Last Sunday he was deeply interested in
the big war picture of the Sunday CONNER
cial Tribune, showing how Havana would
look when it was bombarded.
what is that big picture all about
papa?"
ooh. that's the way Havana will look
when it's being bombarded."
Il didn't know that war had commenced -
"It hasn't, my boy; it hasn't commenced
That is just fancy picture. You see
there's Havana back there in the picture
and all that smoke is from the burning
CITY, Those are the bombshels from the
big guns. and where they fall there is 60
ing to be fire. That's the way in war"
"And which are our ships and which are
the Spaniards' there in the picture? All Of
'em look alike" said the youngster.
"All those are our ships. No Spanish
ships are supposed to be in that neighbor-
hood. If they were there there would be
a naval battle. but this picture Is supposed
to be taken after the Spanish ships are
destroyed"
Say, the papers said that our country
was sending bread and meat down to Cuba
What's that for?"
ITO supply the suffering Cubans. There
is great suffering on the island, and we
want to relieve them
"Well. that's a funny thing to me- said
the boy, ito send lot Of bread down there
and then send lot of ships down to shoot
it all to pieces"
And then it took another lesson to ex-
plain how the Cubans and Spanards DIFF
fered.
The representative. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1893-1901, 1898-03-30
Triple AND CHAMOIS.
An Amusing Misunderstanding by
Which IA Family Meal Was Totally

Avonburn had little experience a few
days ago laughable enough in it's way to
wipe out the disappointment felt in an
ether direction. He was in a saloon one
day about lunch time, and got a taste Of
fried tripe with tomato sauce. 1t was tina
piece de resistance that day, and Avon
burg was stuck on it. Out of sight," he
exclaimed as he put the stuff away
He told his wife the next morning that
he would send some out with lot of groc-
cities that he intended to purchase down
town. She had a copy of Mrs. Rorer's
book in the house, and from that she
thought she could tell Mary how to fix it..
Avonburn did promised and the
tripe went out with the basket, and was
Gully received by Mary, who had nivir
seen SIGH shtuff before
Along toward dinner time. or at least
an hour or two before, Mrs. A. went to
the kitchen and asked Mary If any tripe
came out with the basket.
NO num-" she said. There was none
We'll, L guess Charley didn't send it,"
was the way the matter was dismissed.
AT dinner AvOnburn said:
why didn't you cook the tripe dear, or
you keeping it for breakfast?"
why you didn't send any. Did you for
set it?"
Forget nothing 1 bought it and had It
sent with the groceries,"
Il asked Mary, and she said none came
That's all l know about it,
Them fellows Numbered, 1 guess. and
left it out. for l bought it and took 1t to
the store myself
Mary came in moment later and made
some remark about the tripe, and Incl
Gentally said: "Pfhat did you send that
ould wet shammy skin for?'
II didn't send any chamois skin. What
are you talking about?"
You did. scr, an it's hangin over the
sthove to dry.
A hurried examination showed the
chamois skin, alias the tripe, hanging over
the range. and all but decomposed. When
an explanation was made Mary said: "Well
l fought thot was a nasty shammy shkln
but l fought it would be all right whin 1t
WuS dhry.''
The representative. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1893-1901, 1898-03-30
A Nectar Of Glory.

IL have been hearing for many years Of
the kind of punch one strikes or is struck
by at the social functions which prevails
so extensively in Washington remarked
q Detroiter of Southern prOclivities who
had just returned after a week at the capt.
tal not to mention what society punch Is
almost anywhere one finds 1t, but here
after l want to be understood advocat-
ing the doctrine that at one place, at least
in Washington a punch may be found
which can give the well-known nectar Of
the gods, cards and spades and beat it
hands down and that is at the home of Mrs
Senator Lindsay, of Kentucky. | was there
at one of the usual senatorial Thursdays
and when she invited me to investigate
the punch bowl l said the usual inward
prayer and moved in the direction indicat-
ed. l knew that on the native heath Of
these Kentuckians whatever was offered in
the way of a lbation was bound to be the
best of it's kind but Washington has a
malarial climate and l supposed, of course
that even a Kentuckian could not keen nm
the standard. So when 1 went into the
room where the punch bowl was l had
grave doubts until l had reached it's cana
cious brim and looked down into it's depths.
There spread before me was sea of white
ness as if the gods had mixed their SOAP
suds there and out Of the foamy field Of
snow rose the silver handle of the ladle
like stake set to mark the richness of
the treasure below. What it was and why
it should CLEAN and glisten like the feath-
cry SHOWS of the mountain peaks 1 did
not know. 1 only stood before it in be-
wildering astonishment and speeches. ad-
mtratiOn. 1t was no less q delight than a
surprise. Trembling for fear the vision
might depart or that I might wake and
find 1t dream, 1 held out my glass in
silent appeal and fair hands filled it to the
top. and running over; only the foam and
the fluff of it would not run over
SvV1i1t
the cup of mysterious mixture to my lips
and with my mouth spread wide to let the
effervescent snow-drft in. 1 gave myself up
to its glorious energy and felt waited away
The representative. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1893-1901, 1898-03-30
PRETTY CUTE, AFTER ALL.

A few years ago an Irishman fresh from
the s.ould sod" secured position as porter,
messenger, and man-of-all work IN New
work. store. Tt happened to be the last day
of the month, and the merchant was max
ing out his statements.
"Here Pat" he said at noon, go out
and post these bills. Where? Oh, yes; l
forgot that you were still little green.
There's a mailbox on the telegraph pole at
the corner. Post the bills there
Pat soon returned and laid the bills on
the merchants desk. .
.'Oi may be little Crane yet sor," he
said, with cunning leer, but be the SWIM
slapers, Dim not postn' THIN bills wild a
big Orish perliceman watchin' the box
mot posting them? Why not? What
about the policeman" asked the astonshed
merchant.
"Thot's all right, but Yell not be foolin'
me if Oh am grane," Pat replied, with the
same cunning leer. "Shure, didn't VI see
the sign on the pole over the box-.Fost no
bills under pinalty av the law?. '-Harper's
The representative. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1893-1901, 1898-03-30
BiOrnsOn's Personality.

Few, in TRUTH can escape the spell OF
Biornson's presence, says William n. Scho-
field in the Atlantic. All feel drawn at
once to the big, generous, Whole-souled
man. who, without losing dignity, can stoop
to play with a little child OF make merry
with congenial friends. His personality IS
dominating He was never intended to play
second fiddle to another, and he never WILL
He is convinced of his superior powers or
MANAGEMENT, and no rebuff or failure jars
his self-contdence for more than a moment
He may suffer humiliation in one matter
he has soon forgotten this. and is bubbling
over with enthusiasm for some new pro-
posal. He throws all his energies into some
movement which arouses his interest for
the time; and his advocacy is always bril-
liant and effective, but 1t Is rarely con-
slant. His friends open their mouths in
establishment at some of his vagaries, and
deplore his excuses; they still admire and
love him. The conservative papers call him
a traitor and fool they still revere and
honor him. One moment he is termed The
Uncrowned King Of Norway" the next "a
laundering meddler who is bringing dis
grace and dishonor to his land
Bjornson Is certainly q bundle or con-
trasts He has led an impulsive, inconse-
uuent life; and yet no one, perhaps, In his
generation has exerted in Norway more
powerful dominion. Especially in the coun-
try districts is his sway supreme.
The representative. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1893-1901, 1898-03-30

finally wound up with the question which
Ibsen has heard often that he is now
tired Of it, do you mind telling me, DR..
Ibsen. what you meant by Peer Gynt?"
A dead silence reigned for a moment in
the little group surrounding the old man,
and l expected him to change the subject
without answering the query. But no; he
finally raised his head, threw back his
shock Of white hair, adjusted his glasses,
looked quizzically into the womans eyes,
and then slowly drawled out
"Oh. my dear madam. when I wrote
Peer Gynt only our Lord and l knew what
1 meant; and as for me, 1 have entirely
forgotten"
The representative. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1893-1901, 1898-03-30

On soapsud wings to that elysium which 10
the poets contamination and his dream.
What 1T tasted like cannot tell. There was
in 1t the sizz Of champagne, the white
sparkle OF Rhine. the oily fragrance of
AmOntilladO, the fruity flavor of Muscatel.
and the shrimmer and sheen Of silver of
that unknown and unknowable froth that
sat upon it like crown of cotton and rob-
ed it in garment of fluff such as the sum-
mer girls of all the world have never worn
to add luster. which, II it were theirs,
would make them quite divine.
Il drank and drank and would have
drunk again, but l knew that SO much love-
illness could not exist unless frenzy moved
It's soul, and did not wish to think Of that
wonderful punch as anything but that was
as harmless as 1t was enchanting, so 1 re-
gretfully put my cup down after the third
or fourth or fifth, think, and went to ask
Mrs. Lindsay how 1t was made.
1--WE call it the Lindsay punch she said,
and the secret is one that We keep in our
family. Have another glass, won't you?
'And by all the spirits of the Blue Grass,
l did. Detroit Free Press.
The representative. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1893-1901, 1898-03-30

The Irony of 1t Was Worse, Coming
From a Dear Relative.

'Well, people are queer
1t was Mr.. Dodge Tenders, Of No. 2O10
Perambulator avenue. Flatbush, borough
Of Brooklyn, Greater New York, New
York, U. s. A, who was speaking.
LAS is well known, the borough of Brook
Ign. which contributes about 100000 of
Greater New York's $780, 900 inhabitants, Is
crisscrossed with trolley lines. The first
thing l get into in the morning is a trolley
car and 1 ride forty minutes with a fat
man standing on one of my feet and a
slim man stepping on the other at two-min-
ute intervals. The last thing l get out of
at night is also trolley car, and have
had therein another forty minutes OF troll
ley torture.
when l was at my old home in Bing-
town last summer, father said he was
going to give me O grand treat. l asked
him what the treat was.
Never mind; it's something great,
Dodge he said enthusiastically. Come on.
my boy, come on; It'll be great!
But what is it. paw? l insisted,
Its great, my boy; out Of sight, he
cried grasping me by the arm. Come on,
an I'll give We Jimmy crackin' long ride
way up to Beeswingers Corners, on the
new trolley car line" "-Harpers Bazaar.
The representative. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1893-1901, 1898-03-30
Ibsen's Quiet Rebuke.

No man ever was so loath as Ibsen to
say anything regarding what he had HIM
self written William H. Schofield tell US
in the Atlantic. 1t is thus he shields him
self from the opportunities Of curious
travellers and interviewers who plague him
beyond endurance. Even at court balls,
which he sometimes attends however. he is
not rid of the importunate; and on one &C.
casion a German lady received one of those
quiet rebukes to impertinence which have
given him a wellmerited reputation for re-
ticent reserve. Hardly had she been pre-
scented to him before she broke out into
expressions Of enthusiastic admiration, and