Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1898-03-17
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Miss Spokes-What shall we have for
our club colors? Mr.. Pedelman-I guess
black and blue will be all right.-Judge.
She-Jones Is fine fellow, isn't he?
He-Ycs; he has had his leg broken
oftener than any football player in the
country.
Perkins Ito Jenklns)-I heard this
morning that Barlow has been arrest
ed. What has he done? jenkins
Everybody.
Miss Ethel-I wonder IL that gentle
man can hear me when sing? Maid
or course he can. He is closing the
window already.-Tlt-Bits.
"What do you think Of woman's
rights" II think" replied the shoe
clerk, that they ought to match wom-
ans lefts."'-ChicagO Post.
Patlence--What is the cheapestlook-
ing thing you ever saw about bargain
counter? Patricia husband waiting
for his wife.-Yonkers Statesman.
Magistrate-The evidence shows that
you threw stone at the man. Mrs.
McDur-An' It shows more than that,
yer honor. 1t shows that hit him.
Dramatic author debating play
Mary, my light, my life! l love you;
will you be mine? Lady Typist (whose
name Is Mcry)-Are you still debating!
Mabel-You should see the French
Count who is dancing attendance upon
me. Susie-Ah. Frenchdancing mas
ter, dear?-Phlladelph:a North Amerl-
can.
Charles Bragg-Yes. Miss Brightly,
1t costs me ten thousand dollars year
to live. Miss Blightly-Oh. Mr.. Bragg,
90 you think it's worth it?-Boston
Traveller.
Ledgerby-It does seem good to see
old Dsybuke back at his desk after his
long illness. Bilfile-You bet 1t does
/ was afraid 1t was another case Of 81
all round for floral tribute.-Chlcago
Journal. .~e
81 have a Doctors certificate here
that cannot sing tonight" said the
prima donna. what" roared the
manager; iii give you a certificate
that you never could sing."-Detroit
Free Press.
Mrs. wabash-Mrs. Lakeside is go
ing to celebrate his golden wedding
next week. Mrs. Manhattan-You don't
say so! Mrs. Wabash-Yes; she will
then have been married fifty times
Town Topics.
Ethel-Isn't II strange that Flossie
attracts such intellectual men? Maud
Oh, no; she told me she always planned
her gowns when they talk to her, and
that gives her face that interested ex-
press.on.-Harper's Bazaar.
do you really mean to stand by
what you say about retiring from pub
lie lifef" inquired the intimate friend
just before an election. How do I
know" responded the politician; I'm
no Observation-Disclosures Star.
Miss Thirtysmith (meaningly)-An
Italian proverb says that honest men
marry soon," and Jack Swift (sol-
emnly)-I can not conceal it any long
or; 1 live In deadly fear of being at any
moment arrested for embezzlement.-
Puck.
II don't know which Is worse" NUT
tered young Blunderheads at the swell
reception. retreating to a corner and
wiping his perspiring brow; "but l be-
lieve 1 would rather be run over by
train than to step on one!-Chicago
Tribune.
"Did you ever go into a dark room.
where you couldn't see any one, and
vet something seemed TO tell you there
was some one there?" asked the spiritu-
allstic medium. "Oh. yes" replied the
man; II used to have that experience
often, In my counting days."-Yonkers
Statesman.
Blupderly docking at female por-
trait)-G Great gracious! What a hideous
face. Where did you find that sitter?
Artist (coldly)-That. sir. Is portrait
Of my sister. Blunderly-L beg your
pardon. My mistake, I'm sure. After
all, ought to have noticed the family
esemblance.-Tit-Bits
Magistrate-You were drunk. of
course, when the hold-up men went
through you? Battered-up prisoner
was, your honor. Magistrate-They got
everything you had, suppose? Batter
ed-up prisoner-Everything. your hon
or, except two-dollar bill had in my
watch pocket. Magistrate-The fine
will be two dollars. Call the next case!
Chicago Tribune. '
81 do so enjoy being at sea, away out
OF sight of land" saidSthe ingenue. 1T
IS romantic" assented the.soubrette. Il
hadn't. thought Of thatze But, when l
| look all around and see the horizon at
the same distance everywhere. there
comes over me delightful sensation OF
occupying the center Of the STAGE
Indianapolis Journal.
First shade-What ails that hump
shou,dercd fellow that just arrived last
week? rarely see him al his seat late
| Nv. Second shade-Hc claims to have
been a bicycle crank while on earth:
but wha. that may have been l know
not. At any rate, he has constructed
| very peculiar machine with couple
OF old halos.-Puck.
"Of course, sir, l need scarcely say,
in giving you my daughter, that l ex-
pect her TO be surrounded with all the
| luxuries to which she has been accus-
| toned" Certainly. sir. If / had any
preference for a nome Of our own, L
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