The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1898-11-17

he was thlttlng uoNn.
What do you think of my last
story" asked whipples of the critic.
II think you were wise TO make it your
LAST
He-CsRdidly, what do you think of
my argument? Friend-Sound-most
certainly sound. And what else
Nothing else"
Chollie Softleigh fwho Is thinking OF
a friend)-A fool and his money are
soon parted. Miss Cutting-How did
you lose 1t, Mr.. Softleighf
They say Hardhitter, the pugilist. Is
delighted with his new portrait" Yes.
indeed. That's because the artist
painted 1t In such striking colors.'
Trayeler-Don't you get tired answer
ing so many fool %questionsf Ticket
Agent-Yes. Trayeler-Which one tires
you most; Ticket A~gent-That one.
He-What caused your brothers ILL.,
ness? Shells s%weetheart's death.
She fell into a well and was drowned.
He-As usual. A woman al the bottom
OF 1t.
Mrs. Gabber-You say she Is proud?
Mrs. Gosup-Proud? Why. that WON
an wouldn't read a serial story because
she'd haye 10 buy it ON the installment
plan.
''Oh. Bridget, l told you to notice
when the apples boiled over Sure
did. mum. 1t was a quarter past eleven
when they boiled over. '-Brooklyn
Life.
She-He does not seem TO he a bril-
liant conversationalisi. He-\o: un-
fortunately. he can't talk Oh any sub
ject unless he knows something about
iL-Puck.
Mrs. q. Smythe Gotrox tgracionslyl-
This portrait will make your reputation
In this country. | am sure. m,sieu, NJ.
Coldini lgallantlyl-And yours, also,
trust, madame,-Life.
L.aura-I had to give up the bicycle.
l could not conquer my inclination To
run people down. Flora-Especially
when their backs were turned. ELI.
dear?-Cincinnari Enquirer.
Mrs. Malaprop fhorrihed M finding
her daughters waist eneirclpd 10y Il
young mans arml-Oh. And they told
me he was descended from one of the
old Hugmenot families. Judge.
Police Justice lsuavelyl-When the
police officer dubbed you as you al
lege. did you TAXI his number: Uncle
Geehaw taggrievedD Why. no. |
couldn't. mlster,-it was fastened onter
~himi-Puck.
Jenny-Mis' Muzzy. ma wants 10
borrow a little flour. two eggs. a cup of
sugar and Miss M.-You 20 on
home and tell your mother she'd better
wait a little while and come over and
take the cake.
Auntle-A penny for your thoughts.
Little nephew was thinking that, IL
l kept quiet and pretended to he think
ing, you'd wonder what | was think
ing about, and say just what you did.
Gimme the penny"
Il hope things are more peaceful in
the choir than formerly" said the pas
tor. Yes, sir replied the organist.
Its perfectly calm now" I'm glad
to hear 1t. How was peace secured
Everybody excepting myself resign.
ed"
"Cooper's works." replied the shop
man. Yes, madam; here are the
Misunderstanding Tales. Il don't
think | want them" replied the shop
per. Hasn't Mr.. Cooper written any
Golf Stocking Tales yet?'-Harper's
Bazaar.
Head of the firm Ito clerk who is latel
Meyer, 1t Is o a quarter past nine.
What excuse have you-or did you
spend the whole time In sleep? Clerk
I'm sorry 10 say ! did; but | dreamed
about nothing but the otfice-Fliegende
Batter.
Professor discussing organic and In.
organic kingdomsl-Now. If | should
shut my eyes-so-and drop my head
so-and remain perfectly SIN, you
would say l was a clod. Bur | move. |
leap. Then what do You call me:
Voice from rear--A elod hopper:
yictim-I want TO prefer "A charge
against this man. but | hardly know
the proper one TO make. Otficer-What
did he do? Victim-Struck me ON the
mead with n chunk of ice. Officer
Well. why not charge him with carry
ing CONCEALED weapons; Chicago
News.
"Oid Billions says he isn't rich at
all. but | know better "Hml How
did you get your lnforniation:" From
himself. He told me not long ago that
there was no such thing as luck in busi-
ness. You never heal an unsuccessful
man talk in that strain. Cincinnati
Enquirer.
Wiggles-Have you heard the newsF
They say old man Weatherspoon has
Joined the church. W~aggles-lou don't
say so. (rhoughtfully.) Well. | sup
pose that's a good thing for old Wealth
erspoon but | confess ! am little anN-
Ions about the members Of The church.
-Somerville Journal.
Mr.. Mann-Dld you see that woman
lust as we crossed overl Mrs. Mann
You mean the woman in the camel's
hair gown and beaver jacket: the one
who had on bronze shoes. a hat trim
with fuchsias and hellotrope. with
pink ribbons and a chiffon veil? No,
didn't notice her Ia particular. What
was you going TO say about her?
Farm Notes.
lFk $4,000 10 ]