The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1898-07-26
MR.. DooLEY ON OUR CUBAN
ALLIES.
(From the Chicago Journal)


'fWell sir" said Mr. Dooley, Dam
thin Cubians. If I was Gin'raI Shat
ter I'd back up tn wagon in front iv tn
dure an I'd say to Gin'ra1 Garshy, I'd
say, I want you,' an I'd have thin all
down at tn station an decently booked
be the desk sergeant before tn fall iv
night. TIL impydince iv them!"
What have they been dom? % Mr.
Hennessy asked.
"F'ailin' to understand our civiliza-
tion," said Mr.. Dooley: Eye see it was
this way. This is tn way it was.
Gin'ral Garshy with wan hundherd
thousan' mems been f1ghtin' bravely FIR
two years FIR to iberyate Cuba. FIR
two years he's been marchin' his siv-
1nty-hve thousan' men up an down tn
Hand desthroyin tn naughty Span
yard be tn miIlyons. Whin war was
declared he offered his own service an
tn services iv his ARMY iv fifty
thOuSan' men to tn United States. an
While Waitin' FIR ships to arrive he
marched at tn head iV his tin thousan'
men down to SandagO de Cuba. an cap
tured cigar facthery which they soon
fayJooced to smOkin rooms. They
was holdin' this pOSitiOn-Ciin' raj Gar
shy an his gallant wan thOusan' men
--whin Central Shafter arrived. Gin'ral
Garshy immedjitly offered the sarvices
~ hfmsif an his two hundred men
TT tn capture iV Sandago, and whin
eFIn'ral Shafter arrived, there was Gin
raj Garshy with his gallant band iV
fifty Cubians re-ready to eat at a
minyit's notice.
"Ginral Shafter is a big, coorse, two
listed man firm Michigan, an whin he
see Gin raj Garchy an twinty-fve gal
liant followers, 'F'r-ront,' says he. This
way he says, step lively he says,
an move some iv these things he
says. Sir, says Gin'ral Garchy, dye
take me FIR a dhray?' he says. I'm
a sojer,' he says, not a baggage car
ne says. I'm a Cuban pathrite an
I'd lay down me life an tn lives iv
iv'ry. wan iv tn eighteen brave men iv
me devoted ARMY he says, but I'll
be damn'd if I carry a thrunk,'' he
says. ia fight whiniver tits COOL he
says, an they amt wan iv these twelve
men here that wudden't follow me to
he'll If they was awake at tn time he
says, but he says, if twas wurruk
it long ago. he says, 'They'se a lot iv
it in this country that nobodys usin','
ne says. What we want he says,
is freedom he says, an if We think we
have been in tn woods dOdgin' tn saw
age correspondent FIR two year. he
says, FIR tn sake iv r-rushin' ye'er
laundry home he says, "tis no wond-
her. he says, that tn r-roads firm
Martinette to Kalamazoo is paved with
gooId bricks bought be tn people iv
ye'er native state he says.
so Shafter had to carry his own
thrunk an wei it was FIR him that it
wasn't Gin'ral Miles, tn weather bein'
hot. An Shafter was mad clear through
an Whin he took hold iv Sandago an
scratched Garshy. Garshy took his
gallant band iv six back to tn woods
an there tn three iv thin ar-re now
ARMED with forty r-rOunds iv canned
lobster an r-ready to rasist to tn
cath Him an tn other man has writ
ten to Gin'ral Shafter to tell him what
they think iv him, an it don't take
long"
We'll" said Mr.. Hennessy, 'I think
Shafter done wrong. He might've
asked Garshy in FIR to see tn show,
seem that he's been hangin' ar-round
TT a long time, dom tn best he cud."
1t isn't that" explained Mr.. Dooley
.Th' trouble is tn Cubians don't I'M
dherstand our civilization. Over here
freedom means hard wurruk What
is tn ambition iv all iv US, Hinnissy?
'Tis ayether to hold our job or to get
wan We want Wurruk. We must have
1T Dye raymimber tn sign TIN mob
carried in tn procession las year.
Give us wurruk or we perish it said
They had their heads bate in be police
men because no philan-thropist'd come
along an make thin shovel coal. Now,
in Cuba, whin tn mObs turn out thew
carry a banner with tn wurruds;
Give us nawthin' to do or we perish
Whin Cuban comes home at night
with happy smile on his face he don't
say to his wife an childer: Thank
Gawd, I've got wurruk at last he
says: Thank Gawd I've been fired
An tn childhre go out an they saw:
'Pah-pah has lost his job an Mrs.
Cuban buys herself a. new bonnet, an
where wanst they was sorrow an de-
spair all is happiness an a cottage or
gan.
"Ye can't make people here undher-
stand that, an ye can't make a Cuban
understand that freedom means the
same thing as a pinitinchry sintince
Whin we thry to get him to wurruk
he'll say: Why shud !? I haven't com
mitted any crime That's goin' to be
tn trouble. TIL first thing we know
We'll have another war in Cuba whin
we begin distributin' good Jobs II
hours a day, wan sivinty-five. TIL
Cubians amt civilized in our way. I
sometimes think I've got a touch iv
% In 81,