davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1898-01-15
HIS CARD.
1t Saved Him the Annoyance of Fool
18 tsh Questions.

. .- 4 >
1t Saved Him the Annoyance of Fool
s tsh Questions.
The fellow who gets two weeks va
cation usually has enough to contend
with in the shortness of his holidays
without being subjected to a wholesale
cross-exarnination at the hands OF his
numerous solicitous friends when he
gets back, says the Philadelphia, Rec
ord. There is always the chap who in
sists upon firing the same old stock
questions and making the same trite
comments, until the poor devil who has
just returned to work grows decidedly
weary.
One of these came back to town
couple OF days ago and Immediately
upon his appearance In his favorite
haunts 1t was: "Hello, old mani Been
away?" Or: pretty well sunburned.
amt you? Where have you been
Have good timer" and a host OF other
tiresome greetings embellished with
interrogation points. Fl
The second day he determined to
save his breath, and to all his anxious
friends he handed card on which he
/ spent my vacation at Atlantic cit
/ had q good time. 7 know ] am sun
burned. agree with you that am
looking better than before IWent away
I noticed that 1t rained considerably
didn't go fishing. Any queries not an,
swered here win be attended to by mai
upon receipt Of q stamped and al
dressed envelope" The scheme has
worked very well.
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1898-01-15
JUST FOUND OUT.
Didn't Know Before That Lawyers
Cnuse Justice to Ne blind.

Didn't Know Before That LAWYERS
Cause Justice to Ne Blind.
"Well." said the affected citizen, rush
ing up and grasping the attorneys
hand, 81 thought before I heard your
plea that the man was guilty. but really,
sir, you swept away all the prejudice
I had formed against him. You pre-
sented things so clearly that there was
nothing for the jury but to acquit him.
and ann glad that he is free.
1 'Thank you," said the lawyer. ae-
cording to the Cleveland Leader, i am
glad you admire my handling OF the
case"
'.It was admirable, sir, admirable.
And am so glad that he was innocent
after all"
eyes, SO am !. BY the way, Il you
or your friends ever get caught in any
| crooked work. give mo q call, and I'll
promise to make you just as innocent s
/ as the man who was acquitted few
minutes ago. Here is my card. Good
day, sir"
For a long time the citizen stood
there, apparently in deep study. a,
last he shifted his weight from one foo'
to the other. and said to himself:
/ 'Well, by gum. | guess I know nov
i why justice is blind. It's because then
blamed lawyers throw SO much aus
In her eyes,
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1898-01-15
CIRCUS MANS REeoLLecT.ons.
Remembered a Giant Who Combe
Fraa Hair with d Fence.


Remembered a Giant Who Combed
Has HAIR with Fence.
aGiants ?" said the old circus man,
relates the New York Sun. "Oh, yes,
we've had some big men in the show at
Que time and another. One OF the big
eest we ever had used to comb his hair
with a section of picket fence. That
was part OF the street show when We
made the parade in town. Usually
we had an arrangement in advance with III
the owner Of the fence, and had q
panel loosened SO that the giant
wouldn't wreck too much Of the fence
In picking up the part be was to use.
when the show came along TO this
spot the giant would step up TO the
fence, take or his hat, and pick up the
piece OF fence-it always looked as Il
he had tremendous strength too-and
raise 1t up and comb his hair with it
And then he would put the big comb
down again and put on his hat and move
on. This always tickled the people i'm.
i nensely. And he certainly was bic
man. sure; but we had bigger mar
4 once. wouldn't dare tell you how
big this other man was, because yo1
wouldn't believe it.
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1898-01-15
oPEIOUsAs, La SATURDAY, JANUARY Is, 1898.
JOHN WAS MIXED Up.

with Eim the TyDewriteR and the
Girl were One and the same.
John was an Office boy, but was big
enough to appreciate the good-looking
girl when he saw one. He was q nice
dsesser, and withal quite a fine ap-
pearing boy. He was not we'll satis-
fed with his position, but his ambition
was such that he hoped one day to be
stenographer and master of o type
writer. Keeping this In view, he had al
ways practiced on machine in the
office. Indeed. all his spare time was
put in that way, says the Cincinnati
Commercial Tribune.
One day his employer passed through
the Office, and noting John at work,
as he had noted him 100 times before,
he said: John, you're always trying
TO work that typewriter. What do ex-
|pect to do in the future 2"
John got red in the face, and he won
dered who had been giving him away
In that fashion.
sWho told you so?. he stammered
out.
'.Oh," said the man, ''one OF the boys
told me about it,
.sIknow who did that" said Johns ut
| was Charley. He tried TO work that
| typewriter girl over there in t&D pink
waist, and just because I beat his time
he had to give the snap away to you. sir
I'll get even with him."
And even to this day they guy
John as to how he gave himself
away and mixed the girl and the ma
| chine, IS 81
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1898-01-15
WHISKY SAVED HIS LIFE.
AississipDi Steamboat Man Preserved
Hss Anatomy Intact.

MassissipDi Steamboat Man Preserved
Hss Anatomy Intact.
Charles Gross is a white-headed me-
gro porter ON the steamboat ST. Paul,
Gays the st. Louis Republic.
Charlie has some very pronounced
opinions, which amount to convictions.
One of these is that, while whisky costs
some men their lives. it saved his.
Seven years ago Charlie was porter
on the Mascot, o packet boat running
between st. Louis and Cape Girardean.
He had been imbibing a prodigious
amount of fire water when friend Of
his came into the saloon on the levee
where he was enjoying himself and
said: "You mus hur' up, Charlie. Yoh
boats ringfn' her bell"
''What Il she is 2" said Charlie. IN
go on the nex' trip" and he returned to
s'the cam"
The Mascot went on her way with
out Charlie, and when she was opposite
Neiigh's Landing she blew up, killing
most of her crew. So Gross is firm in
the belief that an all-ordering Proyi-
dence gave him thai remarkable ca
pacity for fiery fluid In order 10 save
him from the fates OF ti.e euper niean-
bers OF the crew.
He has sworn off since at the emphatic
request Of Capt. Burke, but what hehas
lost in the way OF accomplishments ID
the line Of throwing beer into hisseh
has been the cause OF anxiety on his
part. He is supersstdtious about the
Soup that inebriates" and fears that
some day he will be punished. as un,
GRATEFUL friends are likely to be, by the
blowing up of the ST. Paul and all he'
sober fsreyy.
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1898-01-15
ysad n monopoly.

John Kavanagh, the fiddler OF the
Klondike, before the year is over VIII
probably be held responsible for the
downfall of some scores OF musicians.
who, tempted by the stories OF his gooo
luck, are tracking their way to Alaska
provided only with their instruments
and hopeful disposition. Kayanagn
il still q young man, and before his de-
narture had been employed at Port
Costa. in California. but he became pos
sessed of the idea that there was money
10 be made in the north. SO he struck
ont for Juneau. From that place ne
moved on to the Klondike region. going
afoot over the rough country interyen-
inn and carrying with him, IN his outflt'
q Winchester rifle and violin. Once 70
the diggings, he found himself about
/ the only available musician there, ano
/ "a d result there was little necessity m foi
him to delve with the pick and shove! o.
Sis a day while waiting TO hit on Q ricf
! claim OF his own. since the lucky MIN
ers gladly paid hin $40 Or $35 night .
NAV for them at their dances.
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1898-01-15
r,ne Kins,s white Feathez

The Gazette Of Moscow says that
while the king of Siam was passing
through the streets OF that city white
feather fell from the plume Of his he'll
met and was picked up by the peasant
Toukianow, who Is In the service OF n.
Koch. Toukianow hastened TO restore
the feather to the chief of police. He
was greatly surprised several days
later upon receiving from this official.
h the name Of his Siamese majesty, o
casket containing portrait of the king
and i massive gold chain decorated
with a token OF the same metal bearing
the arms OF Siam in enamel TouEa-
now has not Jet recovered from this
unexpected piece of good fortune.
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1898-01-15
Iarhteat of Knoyyn solfds.

The Hghtest known solid Is sadd TO be
the nth of the sunfower, with spe-
cifc gravity OF 2s-1oOths. or about
one-eighth that of cork. The sun
flower is extensively cultivated IN
central Russia, and various uses are
served by it's different parts, the recent
discovery OF the hghtness OF bhe pith
essentially increasing the commercial
value Of the plant. For hfe-saving
appliances at sea cork has buoyancy
of one to Eve, while with the sunfloWel
pith one to s35 is attained. About sof
cubic inches Of 1t would weigh as much
as one cubic inch of iridium, The
| heaviest metal.
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1898-01-15
Gave of the Yosemite.

The annual report Of Capt. Rodgers,
of the Fourth cavalry, who is acting as
superintendent OF the Yosemite ma
tional park, states that the regular
patrols have found that there Is less
trespassing In the park than in past
years, and says the depredations conn
mitted by sheep and their herders are
the worst they have TO contend with
The game seems to be increasing in
number, and the deer and other and
mails show less fear of human beings
than In past years. The rigid enforce
ment of the rule against carrying fire
arms in the park has produced good re.
suits.
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1898-01-15
KLoNo.kE TREMENs.
The Victim Always Sees soniethfnE
Good to Ea

The Victim Always Sees soniethinG
Good TO Eat.
The Seattle Times prints this inter-
esting letter from a Kondiker:
aDear Friend: You can surprise the
dear people of Casper by telling them
that / am worth $4,000, md that next
summer will start back to buy the
town. Some people will want to kiss
me when ! get back who wanted to
kick me when l. left. 1t Is o bad trip
up here, but IL is worth making Il
money Is what man wants. Its the
only place / ever saw where there is SO
much money that people don't seem to
care for it.
.Ve sit around and talk about good
things to eat That is what every body
In thinking about. Ii q man gets TO
talking about fruit he is put out Of
The camp. We cant stand i TO hear +
talked Of. have dreamed Ut seeing
peaches as big as d car Whss and they
say when man gets the freusens up
here he always sees fruit or fancies
that be is pulling radishes or Smelling
peas. This is a hard country to man.
1t will make young man look old In
two years. $.
.You have heard OF the golden calf.
Well, / have something that beats that;
/ have a golden dog. A dog OF mine
died and have used the hide as sack
for my dust. have him as. full OF gold
as be was OF meat. sometimes lay my
head on his body and dream of what
! will do with my dough when ! get
back to the states.
sMy partner has ten one-gailon si1-uT
cans filed with dust. Pneumonia Il
bad. and many die from 1t. The scurvy
is bad, too, but it don't kill many. after
all. If man could hare what he want
ed to eat up here it would not be so bad
You can dress warm and fight the cold
but it is hard to be hungry every day
and get nothing TO eat but the things
you defest. My paper has run out, and
| there is no more IN camp"
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1898-01-15
z ! peeulinr opfleal IIauason.

The correspondent OF a photographs
Journal, in speaking Of the special IN
terest that attaches to the Roentgen
rays among photographers, who often
are not In position to invest IN eia'D-
orate and expensive sets o9 appaTatu
eays 1t is not generally known that by
means OF o very simple optical illusion,
an almost perfect imitation OF the WON
ders OF the photography can be shown
without the trouble and expense OF IN
duction coils, tubes or huorescens
screens. All TINT is necessary Is to take
n small feather from o pheasant or tuf-
KEY, and holding it close to the eye
look through the radiatfng ribs at tne
end OF the feather at the fingers o. the
hand held up towards the sky, or
against the window. The fiesh of the g
fingers will then appear TO be trans
parent, with the Opaque bone running
down In the center. asshown by the true
photography. II it Is desired to exnni'
the phenomenon by gasiight piece o.
gromnd glass must be held IN fron0 @
the fame to diffuse the light
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1898-01-15
RICH STRIKES YEARS AGO.
Nevada City District EQuaied Some OF
!; the KI0ndfke Region Records.

.
Nevada City District EQuaied Some OF
/; the Klondike Region Records.
The city papers are publishing ac-
counts of the fabulous richness OF the
gravel mines In the Klondike section OF
Alaska, and while In some instances the
stories appear to be rather highly col
ored they are not ahead of what hap
pened In different parts Of California in
early days. On September 13. $780,
says the Nevada City Transcript, Az
Isoard, who is still resident Of our
city, obtained from one painful Of gravel
$912 worth OF gold dust and small mug
gets. The gravel was taken from dig
gings directly back of Mrs. c. Beck
mans residence on the upper East
Broad street. From piece of ground
30 feet square In the same claim Mr..
Isoard and partners took out $I64.00o.
The old Nebraska. the Manzag2ita IGend
the Hirschman diggings werd wonaer-
fully rich In the early times, as were
many other smaller claims. To obtain
$500 or $500 from O. single pan OF dirt
was a common occurrence. Many re-
markably rich pockets were found on
Red Hill years ago. In one instance two
prospectors found beneath bowlder
$1,40o worth of solid gold. It was in
one irregular mass, in shape more like
a platter than anything else, the golden
Jumps being Joined together with fine
wires OF gold.
ALI Of these rich strikes were made
near the city. none of them two miles
away. Notwithstanding the great
quantity Of gold that has been taken
out In this vicinity since 1s4o there are
yet untold riches buried here In the
gravel and quartz mines for which Ne
vada City district is noted.
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1898-01-15
HIS CLEVER RusE.
How Congressman Ssvells the Heads
of His Constituents.

How q aCOngreGgmnn SWeAHs 1NS AAsseeAs
of His Constituents.
There is member OF congress who
does not live thousand miles away
from Pennsylvania and New Jersey who
has hit upon very clever scheme 70
make himself solid throughout his dis
trict. In fact, this congressman, says
o New York correspondent OF the Phil
adelphia Press, is continually hitting
upon such schemes, and they extend so
far that he can probably represent his
district as long as he wants or until
his constituents conclude to put him IN
some other Office, the goyernorship OF
his state, for instance.
His latest little scheme to Bring him
self pleasantly to the recollection OF q
large number Of his constituents Is
unique. There are several hundred post
offices In his district, and, OF course, the
usual number of applicants for each
one. The Endorsements OF the appli-
cants are on file at the post Office de-
partment, and usually contain long
list of names Of prominent patrons OF
the Office.
When the congressman makes rec
omanendation Of man for any post
Office he takes the list of the mans In
dorsere and eends each one personal
letter much after this fashion:
"In accordance with your recommen-
dation I have to-day named -- --
for postmaster at
Each man who receives such letter
Immediately has new idea OF his own
In politics and is pleased to think that
his congressman recognizes his impor-
tance. In any case, the receipt OF a
personal letter from member of con-
gress is apt to tickle the vanity of Q
ro,.ivnfa citizen = tE
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1898-01-15

i'm a LONDON HOTEL.

Comvcmaences and Conceits THRt suF-
prise American Visitors.
The American visitor to London who
stops ati q certain hotel In that city
ands many novelties and eonveniences
that are not known here In America,
where hotels are supposed to have
reached the acme of luxury, says the
Pittsburgh Dispatch. 1t has an Amer
lean plan dining-room, but only Q
French bill Of fare. 1t has an Indian
room, where ON Indian chief in the cos
tune of his country prepares native
dishes for those asho desire them.
In this hotel each guest is known by
the number of ihis room instead OF
his name, and IL is rather odd to an
American to be addressed as "Mr. 06Os'
as though he were q convict In the PEN
atentiary.
On each Aoor, day and night, are 70
be found a maid, q, valet and q waiter
who are at your service and have fres
access to your rooms. When you come
home at night, If you are q man. yo'
find.s your clothes pressed and cieanes
and carefully packed away In Q ches
OF, drawers. IL you are o woman, tn
maid attends TO frills and furbeloW
as though she were hired by you e. e
pecially. Guests never bother wit.
their keys-the maid or valet on tn
floor takes charge of the key and
ready at any time to open your door.
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1898-01-15
Clsoowine . novel.

4 writer IN Chips lets out . secret re-
rarding the way in which some young
women ! Judge novels. In street car
two girls were talking of what they
Rad. aoh. I choose Q novel easily
enouph.n said one. II go to the circu-
latine library and look at the stchap-
fer III find the rain softly and sadly
dropping over one or two lonely graves.
q don't haveit; but II the morning sun
II glimmering over bridal robes Of
White satin, know it's oil right"
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1898-01-15
SINGING AMONG THE GREEKS.
The Ancient Greeks Sang Biitheiy
and Were Carefully Instructed


The Ancient Greeks Sang Blithely
and Were Carefully Instructed.
Our present system of public instrue-
ton is not SO modern as some would
have us believe. Sparta had her state
superintendent, who, If distant report
is to be trusted, was an educational
despot. But, while he welded his walk
ing stick freely during official visits,
and encouraged his subordinates to ply
the rod on all occasions, he was as
diligent promoter Of music as is any
humane and progressive educator OF
our era. AS a result, the little Lace
daemonians sang bIthely, no matter
what torment was going on under
their tunics. And all over Greece, In
those dim DAYS, were schools ranging
from infant grades instructed under
ArcadIsn hedges to the university-ex-
tension schemes harbored in buildings
uniquely termed "places of leisure.
The infants were drilled In their alpha
beta-gammas; the older boys We're
taught poetry and gymnastics. with
something of arithmetic, geometry and
drawing; and adults spent their leisure
with rhetoriticians and sophists, pay
ing handsomely for the privilege. But
music was sine qua non of Grecian
life, in school and in sport, In battle
and in burial. The epic and elegiac
chantings at festivals, the calm specula-
tions of Pythagoras as to the music
of the spheres, the choral outburst OF
"the great fifth century" the material
odes Of Tyrtaeus and Pindar, all show
the national love for melody of voice
as well as for high and harmonious
thought. An old-time Greek set down
amid the strident, metallic voices OF
our occidental world would feel that
the Furies had seized either upon him
nr the continent ne was visiting.
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1898-01-15
IVORY USED BY THE ANclENTs.
Relics show That the Prehistoric
Races Knew Its Value.

Relics show That the Prehigtorfc
Races Knew Its Value.
The earliest recorded historywe
might say prehistoric, the hieroglyph-
ical--that has come down to us mas
been in carvings on ivory and bone
saws Appletons' Popular Science Month
". Long before metallurgy was known
among the prehistoric races. carvings
on reindeer horns and mammoth tusks
evidence the antiquity OF the art. Frag-
ments Of horn and Ivory, engraved with
excellent pictures of animals, have been
found In caves and beds OF rivers and
lakes. There are specimens In the
british museum, also in the Louvre, OF
the Egyptian skill in ivory carving, at
tributed to the age Of Moses. In the
latter collection are chairs or seats OF
the sixteenth century B. e., inlaid with
ivory. and other pieces OF the eleventh
century, B. C. We have already re-
1erred to the Nineveh worries. Carving
OF the s'precious substance was exten'
siyely carried on at Constantinople dur.
ing the middle ages; combs, baskets
horns, boxes, etc, OF carved ivory ant
bone. often set in precious stones, O
i the old Roman and Anglo-Saxon period:
nre frequently found in tombs. Cruel
Axes and images OF the Virgin ant
saints made in that age are often grace
4ul and beautiful. The Chinese ans
japanese are rival artists now In thei
peculiar ninutiae and detail.
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1898-01-15
r,,.e. slnae Of Porceanan.

The latest styles Of flutes come from
Meissen, saxony. where factory is
turning out these instruments In
porcelain. The inventor asserts that
the tone of O porcelain fute is much
purer and larger than that produced on
a wooden fiuta and that the china In
strumenfs are not subject to climatic
nr,aufyna #5s - s58
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1898-01-15
PROGRESS An usandlal-

Uganda has advanced enough In civih-
zation to have a hospital established hy
the government at Mengo, the capital.
IT win have mems ward with six beds.
3 woman's ward with four beds, an
operating room and q storeroon1. 4
missionary doctor viii be in charge.
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1898-01-15
only diamond Fields An nnssia.

Only Diamond FfeIds IN ILHssAHs
Count p. z. SchuvaloR ID the 1ortu-
mite possessor of the only diamond
fields In Russia. On his estates, COM
prising 800, coo hectares, five gems ware
accidentally found q few years ago.
The first diamond was picked up on the
place In 1880, and in the years since
then about $50 have been discovered.
Some years ago the count decided e
carry On the hunt for more diamonds
with vigor, though whether he has
done 90 Is not known to the presen'
writer. The count is among thf
wealshiest landed proprietors IN Rus
sis, and related to the russian aTnbas
sador to Berlin.
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1898-01-15
GEM Plants.

! Among the curiosities Of tropicaI
r,ant life are the pearls found ocea-
sionalIy In the cocoanut palm Of the
philippine islands. These pearls Ike
those Of the ocean. are composed OF car
Donate Of lime. The bamboo also yields
another precious product, In the shape
of true opals, which are found IN It's
Joints.
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1898-01-15
Metallic Cheese.

It has been common theme OF con.
graduation. by not q few writer's and
philanthropists, says the London
Lancet, that the days are over when
people were poisoned by the indiscrim-
inate practices Of the adulteror, and
that now they are only cheated. What
wiz be said. then. of the announcement
that both the salts of zinc and lead are
used In the preparation OF cheese9
"Cheese spice' is the delectable name q
crystallized snlphate OF zinc, which. 40,
cording to Mr.. Allen, the public analys1
Of Sheffield, Is used to prevent the heav
ing and cracking Of cheese. Worse still
Mr.. stoddart, another public analyst
has described a sample OF CANADIAN
cheese In which he found metallic lead
and ii is probable that the highly poi
sonous acetate OF lead was employee
Tor the same purpose as the sulphate 9
| zinc.
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1898-01-15
Amerienn Asphaltuna

Last year the only states that pro-
duced asphaItnm were California, Col
orado, Texas and Utah. Indian territory
also contributed some.
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1898-01-15
f,trcr,a Men Tnr,oo Whast1ing.

Whistling is tabooed in the dressing
rooms Oh d circus. That It Is m ILL
omen is one of the superstitions OF the
circus people. Somebody is sure to be
discharged IL anyone whistles, they
say.