, 1898-11-15
PLAYED A WAR GAME.
HOW THE BIG MAN FLEEceD THE
SUBSTITUTE BROKERS.

SUBSTITUTE BROKERS'.
The Tricky Six Footer Worked Hi.
PhSsicai Defect to the Limit and
Reaped a Rich Harvest While tho
Opportunity Lasted.
During the civil war in what was
then a pretty village of Michigan and
has since become a city without losing
any of its beauty lived a strappins six
footer who looked as hard as nails.
dressed well, talked smoothly and was
set up like a soldier. He had no means
Of support visible to the naked eve in
the village which he called home, Gu.
he would make occasional trips from
which he returned with plenty of
money and q fund of interesting talk
about some section Of the north. The
people thought him a mystery. but he
was a pleasant one, and curiosity never
went further than to ask ingenious ques-
tions that were just as ingeniously par
ried. After his harvest was at an end
the mystery explained himself without
reserve, and no one expressed serious
disapproval of the way in which his
wits had won him his money.
1T was a simple case of diamond cut
diamond. " he laughed. 'I've been TAX
ing fleeces from the fellow that went
out to shear. I'm not an Apollo Belve-
deere, Diomedes or Samson in appear
ance, but l pass in a crowd as a fine
specimen of physical development. The
truth is that I'm a whited sepulcher. l
was born with a defective heart and
would not take three minutes of real
violent exercise for all the money you
could load III a freight train. | take
things easy all along the line, and the
engine keeps pumping up to require
ments.
"When l could see the end of what
property was left me, and it was not far
away, l cast about for some light work
to do and concluded to deal with the
substitute brokers. There was no chance
of meeting the required medical exam
nations, so l took another tack. When
ever l visited a place in my business,
I'd manage incidentally to fall in with
the broker. I'm better than n raw hand
as q iollier, and I'd soon have some
mutual friends as innocent parties in
the play.
When 1t came IN naturally, I'd
cnan the broker about his business and
ask h kind OF a soldier I'd make.
He would either jump open mouthed at
the proposition or chaff back under an
impression that l would never think of
going to war. In either case it would
usually come to some kind of a propo.I-
ton from the broker. Then the other
fellows would guy me, that l
was a buffer and wonder how l was to
get out OF the thing without a clear
funk.
Here's where my fine work came i'll.
I'd emand a retainer, and I'd put it
high enough just to mako the broker
think that l was trying to escape him.
II he would pay me a specified sum
down, l would agree to appear at the
recruiting office the next day and offer
my services, but l gave notice that l
assumed no If they would not
have me, the broker must stand he
loss. The idea of my being rejected al
ways raised a laugh and only tended to
confirm the broker in the belief that l
va" AyA'S " SSS'po -" 'Ash WV
doctor turned me down, l went into the
dumps, became n%ervously timid, aroused
the sympathy Of those with whom had
become acquainted and snapped an or
der to the d~isgruntled broker to keep
clear away from me.
"The best haul ! made was in Pitts
burg. A coal baron there who could not
well enlist and who had not been draft
ed wanted u representative in the army
who would make a name honorable to
that Of the principal. He was after a
big. handsome, intelligent fellow of
whom he could be proud and put the
whole matter into the hands of a shrewd
little broker. managed to meet him
at the Monongahela House, and l work
ed around to the main subject in the
manner 1 have described, but l could
see that he was sharp and did not like
HWhile he went to dinner. after
which we were to resume our talk, l
went out and had a short conference
with a huge truckman. When 1 again
met the broker, that truckman insisted
~, hothor;,r -, aud ,ftar choyr;pu a