New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1898-08-31
THE TALK or THE DAY.

It Is humori-, who suggests the formation OF a
society for the protection OF Admiral Dewey from
prornscuous kissing From recent happenings It
would seem II such society would have plenty
TO do when the gallant Admiral returns homo.
A Thorough Spor,-The Deacon-Youns man.
don't you know that there's rainy day comIng7
says tho Weather mi WON'T call tho turn. Come
now; II you've got any nerve show your money
--tChicago News.
Poor Old Martin Irons. who was 30 prominent In
the great railroad strike OF 1856. Ia lying III in
Lite Rock (Ark) hospital. II have spent life
In the work" he says with lttle compensation
ana now have nothing TO show for it. Organized
labor suffers from the presence IN ts ranks OF
dishonest element which pushes honesty to tho
rear. In Arkansas tho Knights OF Labor have
been ruined by trickery. treachery and dishonest
methods. largely practised by man. who has
been prominent In It's councils"
Leading Minnie-Have you and Charlie
agreed upon terms OF peace YETI
Grace No We haven't got any further than
/ tod him he might come around Sunday for the
purpose OF discussing tho matter-(Cleyeland
Leader.
The Roy. DR.. w. a. p Martin. an American mis-
sIonary in China. writes as follows to The indie
pendent:
THE death OF Prince Kung. which took place a
month ago marks era. The Emperor now feels
free to follow the bent OF his own inclination.
Within these few days he has promulgated three
measures OF capital Importance:
"Flrst-Hc has released the princes and mobiles
from certain restrictions OF law and custom which
stood In the way OF their going abroad to see tho
world.
"second-IIc is pushing the establishment OF
national university.
"Third-IIe has abolished the regulation essay as
test OF talent in the selection OF mandarins"
smsEest tons White they are at I, why no, start
endless chains Tor:
Painting the Pyramids.
Iev.lling the Alps.
Cutting the Equator
Mu2zling the Dog Star.
Fencing the Milky Way.
Sprinkling sahara
Paying the debt Of Nature-(Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
In his "Cocctlons and Recollections' Mr.. Russell
gives two Irish bulls which prize specimens OF
their c.ass. This by 7. Iealy: "As long az the
voice Of irish suffering IL dumb. the OF English
compassion is deaf to IT." And this from The Irish
Tines THE key Of the Irish difficulty is not to
be found in the empty pocket OF the landlord"
A New Test Of Manliness.-"Naw. you amt You
amt no little man"
Yes. am. Ma said was"
eat Infants food. Pah, Don't you talk about
wh VI" 'I flows SDu n0n Pain iT S.n %f
Superintendent f.. Benjamin Andrews OF the Chi
cdcO pubic SCHOOLS intends 10 introduce the study
OF Spanish In the schools. and is In favor of giving
the pupils hot uncheons.
Aways-The Foreigner-So a woman travel
The NaIvc-Yes Xii she has to do Is to put on
n bicycle suit OF sufficient insufnciency and there
Will be plenty Of men to look after her.(Cincinnati
Enquirer
traveller who has just returned from Athens
says that the Greeks. who not long ago were
shouting their favorite cry OF Down with the
King. out with his right eye have returned
TO the most extravagant loyalty. and King George
has never enjoyed so much popularity since he
came to the throne.
After the First Quarre.-."Go." she exclaimed.
"and speak to Inc again"
lie passed out into the unsympathetc night. but
paused when he reached the sidewalk and drew
did so the beautiful girl. who was watchns hin, ~"
from the vesthule uttered shrill scream and ran
toward him
Albert" she cried what would you do? Pray.
do not kill yourself, Throw your revolver away
md let us forget our quarrel"
1T isn't n revolver" he replied. as he caught her
In his arms. 1T IL monkey wrench I borrowed
from you that day my wheel broke down | have
been wearing II next to my heart ever since"
Then they returned TO the parlor and took up the
thread OF loves young dream where Il had been
brokcn.--(Chcago News
clever swindler has been selling hand painted
English sparrows in the suburbs Of Boston as
canares.
They say that Dewey used to be bad boy
why, It proves that the boy you set down ne no
good can generally be depended upon to surprise
Nothing OF the sort. I'll bet there were ave
million boys In this country who were Just as bad
as or worse than Dewey was when ne was Young
Have you ever heard OF any great things done by
Of thAmT'-IClsveland Leader. y "''N