The Press., 1898-07-21
Chicago Journal.)
DOOLEY TELLS OF A GREAT
VICTORY.


II hear" said Mr.. Hennessey, "that
tn stereopticons on th' newspapers have
sthruck."
II sh'd think they wud," said Mr.. Doc
ley. eth las time I was downtown was
iliction night, whin Charter Haitch's big
la-ad was ilicted an they was wurrukin'
tn stereopticons till they was black in
tn face. What's tn news.
9Th What Cheer, Ioway, Lamp iv
Freedom is on tn sthreets with tilly
gram that Shafter has captured Sandago
de Cuba an is now settin' on Gin'ral
Pando's chest with his hands in his hair.
But this is denied by tn Palo Gazoot. tn
Macoupin County Raygisther, an tn
Meridyan sthreet, Afro-American. also
see be tn Daily Scoor Card, tn Wine
List, Deef Mute's Spokesman, tn Morgue
Life, tn Bill iv Fare, tn. Stock Yards
Straight Steer, an Jacks Tips on tn
Races, the on'y daily paper printed in
Chicago, that SIMPSONS feet is in tn
Suez canal bombarding Cades. Th'
Northwestern Christyan Advycate says
this is not thrue, but that George Dixon
was out-pointed by an English boxer in a
twenyt-r-round go in New York"
"Ye've got things mixed up said Mr..
Dooley. 81 get tn news straight. Twas
this way Tn Spanish feet was bottled
up in Sandago harbor an they dhrew tn
in1y 7 in
apers. Tn gallant boys iv tn navy was
settin' out on tn deck def1ndin' their coun-
hry an dhrawin' three ca-ards apiece whin
the Spanish admiral concluded 'twud be
better FIR him to be destroyed on tn ragin
sea, him bein' sailor, thin to have his
fleet captured be cav'lry. Anyhow he
was willin' to take chance, an he says to
his sailors, 'Spanyards,' hesays, CASTLES,
he says, we have ct tn las bed tick he
says, AN if we stay here much longer,
he says, 'I'Il have to have steak off tn
armor plate fried FIR ye,' he says. Lave
us go out where we can have r-run f'r
our money! he says. An away they wint
I'll say this much FIR him, he's a brave
man, dam brave man. l don't like a
Spanyard no more than ye do, Hinnessy
[ niver see wan But if this here man
was a-was a Boohlgaryan, I'd say he was
brave man. If was aboard wan iv thin
yachts that was convarted, I'd go to this
here Cervera an I'd say Manuel Pd
say, yer all right, me boy. Ye ought to
SO to doctor an have ye'er eyes reset,
but yer good fellow. Go downstairs.
I'd say, into tn basemint iv the ship, 'Pd
say, AN open tn cupboard JUS mex to tn
head iv tn bed an find the bottle marked
''Floridy water" and threat ye'erself kind
ly' That's what I'd say to Ceryera He's
all right.
"Well, whin our boys see the Spanish
fleet comm out iv tn harbor they gath
cred on tn deck an sang tn naytional
anthem "They'll be hot time in tn OF
town tonight A lift-nant come up to
where Admiral Sampson was sittin' play
in sivin-up with Admiral Schley, Bill,
he says, 'th' Spanish fleet is comm out,'
he says. What talk have yep says Samp-
son, Sind out some rowboats an a yacht
an destroy thin. Clubs is thrumps,' he
says. and he wlnt on playin. Tn Span
ish feet was attacked on all sides be our
br-rave la-ads, nobly assisted be tn dis
patch boats iv the newspapers. Wan be
wan they were destroyed Three battle
ships attached tn convarted yacht Glou-
cester. The Gloucestes used to be owned
be Pierpont Morgan, but twas eonvarted,
an is now leadin' dacint life. Th' Glou-
cester sunk them all, tn Christobell Com
ma, the Viseera an tn Admiral O'Quinn.
1t thin wint up to two Spanish torpedo
boats an give thin wan punch an away
they wint. Be this time tn soiers had
heard of the victhry, an they gathered on
tn shore, singing the naytional anthem
They'll be a hot time in tn oI town to-
night me babby.' Th' gloryous old chune
to which Washington an Grant an Lincoln
marched, was took up be tn sailors on tn
ships an Admiral Cervera r-run wan iv
his boats ashore an jumped into tn sea.
At last accounts th' followin' dispatches
had been received: "To William McKin-
ley: Congratulations on ye'er noble vic
thory. (Signed) William Mckinley 'Tc
Russell A. Alger: Ye done splendid
(signeO Russell A. Alger." To James
Wilson, sicrety iv agriculture This is q
great day FIR Ioway. Ar-re ye much
hur-reted. (Signed) James Wilson,
"Where did ye hear all this?" asked
Mr.. Hennessy in great amazement.
81 r-read it," said Mr. Dooley, impress
sively, Gin the Stats Zeitung."