The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1898-10-21

noon for luncheon. lie has 81 days of sick
leave. that is, he viii be excused for so
many days absence if he furnishes a ply
sicians certificate OF its nece ssity. 1t RAY
be said, incidentally, that there are phy
sicians and physicians in Washington, and
no clerk need put off going fishing for
lack of a certificate. The average salary is
not far, probably, from $lO0A As a gem
eral RUE the clerk who becomes proficient
in doing any one particular thing is kept
on doing 1t.
The diversions of the department clerk
are not many or rapid. Washington. il is
true, is one of the best base bail cities IN
the country, and breeds a particularly vi
rulent sort of crank, impervious to the
rain and stolid under heat, who when the
nine is out of town. Is prone to go out 10
the grounds anyways ana iaoo3t around. a
game is called, too, at 4:30 thus giving
ample time for assembling after hours. But
judging from the sick certificates which
1t induces, baseball must he unheahhful;
and so il should be reiega ted to Be- those
things, which, if not prohibited are TO be
taken with caution.
Besides running a restaurant in the at
tie, each department has also a library,
thus furnishing theHclerks with much the
same quality of food for body ana mind.
Need it be said that this is light The con-
gressional library, by the way since 1t
opens at and closes at 4, might as well
be located on Pixies peak for the educa-
tiona[ advantages II offers 1t has been
suggested that the torch of learning, which
burns from its dome,, might properly be
put under a bushel.
Washington lies in the midst of a coun-
try famous for game, and now and then
some of the young men may be seen with
rod and gun. Such a proceeding however,
is as unusual as knee breeches were after
the forties and before the vogue of the
bicycle. In general, the department clerk
does not feel himself natural when beyond
the environment of the asphalt. He is so
accustomed to have his feet stick as he
walks AS for the bicycle, il has its ad-
herents, but only in a purely practical
way, they having determined. after an
elaborate calcula ton, in which six tickets
for quarter and three dollars a month
on the instailment plan" We're main factors
that it as cheaper to wheel than to go by
trolly.
Finally, there are croquet clubs where
clerks of the reckless sort eat cake and
sip lemonade and trip over the wickets in
consequent excitement. There was even a
croquet tournament held here few years
ago, which delegates from all parts of the
country attended AS a touching confirm
alton of the Cosmopolitan character of the
national capital that this game long since
driven out from parsonage grounds and re-
/ jected by female seminaries, has eager
votaries here who clash malets as they
wrangle in its long forgotten jargon. 1t is
! to be observed, however, that the croquet
players among the department clerks new
er reach the roll of honor OF long service.
They are waning and evanescent folk;
| the pace is too much for them.
All of these diversions, however, are
extrinsic TO the true clerical career. Year
| by year the clerk has less and less to do
with them. AS he fulills his ideals and
| grows old in the harness he more and
| clearly nafPpiVnS that life =
enough without them; that the depart
ment VocatOns, with the one universal
! department avocation, are comprehensive
and complete. And so, during his leisure
! hours, he sits.
What then is this avoca ton, common to
all clerks, without distinction of sex or
age? 1t is talk. The department clerk is
| garrulous, not to say gosspy. His inter-
| ests are petty but acute. He is essent-
tally inquisitve. He wants to tell almost
as intensely as he wants TO know; hence
there is solid foundation for ceaseless
conversation. This talk is not dlscursive.
1t cares nothing for Peru or the Indies; il
dallies now With llterathre, SCIENCE Or the
| arts. Its color Is local. 1T is official; 1t
| is governmental
Regarding one another there Is an ur-
gency to find out which must be satisfied
but when this is once done the judgment
| is merclfui. Let he or she who has a
skeleton TO hide keep away from the de-
! partments, for some day the lock of the
| closet will surely be picked. But neither
disgust nor horror follows revelation. on
the contrary the limbs will be praised for
their straightness and the ribs for their
| Wilderness, while the grin of the fieshless
| jaws viii be pronounced not so bad after
| all. There is a community of feeling
| esprit de corps would be far too sprightly
a phrase-which says: LAS long as we
know, Wen overlook" For the most part
these personal defects, so discovered and
forgiven, are of a trivial nature This one
| is close; that one Is cross to his wife;
look out for a third oneAhe borrows and
never pays. s@+ t
II is TO be emphasized that department
| morality is sound and good The mascu-
line clerk is honest, the feminine clerk is
| pure The former does not spend his
nights over the faro table, nor does the
| latter drive out to a champagne supper
| behind a spanking team with high Off
| cial. Even in the most law-abiding com
munty IL is wise, to have police force.
! The policeman of the departments is pub
licity.
Gossip regarding those in immediate au-
1 thority is partisan and biased. An I'M
| pleasant manner will give chief of a dl-
| vision an evil reputation, while a favor
| covers a multitude of sins. In general,
the more exalted the offender the less Bit
ter the comment Appointment clerks as
| rule, must have perpetual lever IN
! their left ears The clerical memory Is
long, especially for benefits conferred To
this day Ben Butler and T'had Stevens
| are popular heroes, because of their 10y
| atty to their friends, and tales are told
how they bullied and bulldozed, distracted
secretaries into giving them just what
| appointments they demanded. Secretary
Manning continues in grateful remem-
brance because he frequently surprised
his clerks with an extra half holiday
while Secretary Carlisle Is held in high
esteem for his courtly manner, though II
is currently reported that he once did
say that no woman was worth salary
OF $1,000 year. iiup n13es t'as.,5l
Very little consideration is shown to-
ward congressman, for the average clerk
looks upon the legislative branch with
| dread mingled with contempt. ''rhose
fellows have nothing else to DO" he grum-
bles, except 10 pick at us. | wonder how
they'd like to have their salaries reduc-
! ed" In fact, at the beginning Of every
session there is apt to be an outbreak OF