Evening star., 1898-08-20
A SMART WOES
1t Does Not Do to Tell All You Know
Too Soon.
THREE R"-MEN EASY 10 MANAGE
Not Much Chance to Beat a
General Court-MartiaI.
SOME WHO HAVE TRIED

1t is not well for an educated man who
| has just Joined the army or navy TO turn
| loose with all he knows on all hands all az
| cnce. Thereby he is liable to get himself
| an immediate. yet clinging reputation AS
Smart Alec" The really smart just-en-
| listed man. who has also had an education,
plays it light upon his shipmates for
while. He. smokes his pipe when he draws
| alongside for period of listening. and
says little. He expresses few or no opn-
| icns. He apparently sits at the feet of
| nien who don't know half as much as he
| does. After ne does this for 4 long while
/ and then begins to open up gradually, his
surprised mates are delighted to make the
| discovery that he has a good deal of fri-
| formation at his fingers ends, and taen
they sit at his feet. But IL the new man
even If he has got brains and plenty of
them. hops into the confabs of the old
tiners with the obvious purpose of I'M
pressing them from the go-off with the
extent of his requirements. he is squashed
ana borne down upon out of hand and
gets himself chalked upon the gradually
| Diminishing list of Smart Alecs in the two
services. 1t is an entirely different matter
| 10 be regarded as a Smart Alec by the Off
| GERS, and to be regarded in the same TN
cannN ilght by the enlisted men. The SOL
dfer or sailor who is appraised by the Off
GERS as Smart Alec generally has the
esteem and the confidence of the men
Oneers OF the army used to regard all of
the educated men who dTifted into the SER
vice as Smart Alecs, and there was even a
period when well-educated men were
Turned down at the recruiting offices wi. H.
out getting much of look-in as a
| physical examination. The weIl-educafed
men We're found by the officers TO be harder
| to manage than the soldiers of only mod
crate attainments in the way of book
learning-''three r. men"
For example, the soldier with an educa-
tlon makes too hard a fight of it when he
happens to get general court-rns rtial.
| He has often been known to beat A
court composed of clever assortment of
regular army officers in full dress uni
forms. When a soldier does this it is
pretty near time for him TO write to his
people, if they are influential 10 pot him
cut OF the service; for a soldier who beats
| a general court-martial achieves a reputa-
uoh with his officers as Smart Alec, even
tfoush ne receives at the same time the
tunuituous applause Of his sWaddies and
the sooner he is out of the service the han
| pier he will be. There is no let-up on the
soldier VINO fights a general court-nartiap
ana makes his fight stick. Regular army
oHlcers are human and they make such a
Soldier do his soldering I'D to the handle
Tor the remainder Of his time and he never
knows when be is TO be touched upon tie
shoulder by q sergeant of the guard ard
told to get his blankets'-v,hich means q
guard house trick-for the commission of
some military offense of which he knows
nothing.
| ago there was a soldier who beat a general
| court-martial and thereby made a bed of
\ thorns for himself. This man was not a
smart Alec In the opinion Of the men, by
"He IA ne was respected a clever and
genuine fellow. but he was g Smart Alec
| IN the estimation of the officers He was
studying for commission from the ranks
ana some officers don't particularly like
ehhsteo men who go into the army for
this purpose.
Tkis man three months after his enlist
n1ent ana assignment to Governors Island
mad been tried by summary court for talx
ing one of the quartermaster's boats o..
| night after he had been refused leave oF
| absence, rowing himself to New York
! Where ne had an evenings whirl-around
ana then only returning to the pest in time
| 10 hasuiy restore the boat to its place he
lore taxing his place in line with his OFT
| mt for revelile. He was accused at reyeille
| Tor ne mad been absent from check roll cali
| On the night before, and he admitted the
| impe achment. He was given a month in
the guard house for it
| Seven or eight months later this same
| man was found along toward midnight one
| mid summer night sitting alone in cne of
| the quartermaster's boats moored near one
| OF the auartermaster's storehouses srl.ok-
| ing pipe and apparently unconscious of
| All nliiltary espionage It was the officer
| OF the day who discovered him The latter
was taking walk about, waiting for the
| hour to arrive for him to make an insnac-
| ,ion OF the various guard posts, and he
had only happened accidentally to ap-
| proach the quartermaster' storehouse
/ Which was out of the chain of night guard
| posts. Thus he spied the soldier sitting in
| the boat smoking and naturally looIinp
\ suspiciously like a man about 10 iumn nos3
or ike one just returned from a post
| jumping expedition.
1t makes no difference, one way or the
other, TO this story whether the soldier
| had been across the channel in the Quar-
| termaster's beat Or not.
No Oars or OarIOcks
Having used the boat, my man" said
i the officer, recognizing the soldier in it as
a man VINO had once before been tried for
| hiieitiy using one of the Quarterma ster's
skiffs, you will now tie the boat up where
| 1t belongs, and then report to the sergeant
OF the guard, under arrest for the same
| ago." '--Ae
THE difference being. this time" said
| the soldier. saluting, that when I was
trfeo before for cotiaring the boat and
! using it, L was guilty, and owned up to it
| had been across to New York In it and
made no bones about it, and did NV trick
| for IT. This time. L haven't used the boat
4 nor nave had any idea of using it. 1 SIM
| ply came down here for a quiet, cool
| smoke"
you may recite that fact to the general
court-martial," replied the officer
Just then sentry. who had been attract
| ed from some distance away by the talk
OF the officer and man, strolled up
| If, then, there is to be a general court
| martial" said the soldier who had been
| discovered sitting in the boat. 81 will lust
invite the attention to the sentry now an
1 preaching that this boat is unprovided with
/ oar locks and cars. 1t doesn't seem possi-
| BILE that I could make my way across the
1 rough and swif.-runnirg channel without
oars. Do you notice, sentry, that this boat
hasn't oars or oar locks?"
The sentry, after saiuting the officer
| made his reply, and then the soldier was
1 marched to the guardhouse.
You might easily have cast oars and oar
4 locks overheard. said the officer when
you heard me coming, in order to support
your story that you had not used the boat
The soldier made TO reply, but went to
| his CELL and waited for his general court
martha.
On the following morning the provost
sergeant got him out of his cell at fatigue
call, and was about to count him off for
work with a batch of military cony;cts
men doing two and three-year terms for
deserdon some of them.
I'm too strong to work Just yet" said
| the prfsorer.
l For why?" asked the provost sergeant
The soldier made no reply, but he couldn't
1 be made to work. So the provost sergeant