davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1898-02-25
P,rn AND POINT.

"A Liquid Paradox.-"Any soft
drinks?" 'Only hard cider" -C!eve-
land Plain Dealer.
Wanted to observation-disclosures
out to church tomorrow. feel sure
you will enjoy the sermon" Friend
'Who is going to preach ?''-Harlem
Life.
Coal Operator (despondently)-"I
wish way could be found to relieve
the glut in the coal market" Con-
sumner (confidentially)-"Teu the deal
ers to give better weight. IN. Y. Week.
~.
Another Clever Woman.-"My wife
can tell what time it is in the middle of
the night when it is pitch dark" "How
docs she do it?'' ''She makes me get
up and look at the clock. "-Chicago
Record.
Willing to Try.-Rapturous Youth
-"Darling, my salary is $40 week. Do
you think you could live on that?' His
Affianced-"Why, yes, George, can
get along on that. But what'u you live
on ?'-Chicago Tribune.
Self Observation-Disclosures "Bon-
ner is SO aggravatingly self-possessed."
Rawlins-"Yes. He could wear a
checked golf suit ut wedding and car
ry himself as though the groom was
mere caddy."-Philadelphia North
American.
More Wonderful.-Mr. Gaswell-
'*An eastern astronomer says he has dis
covered two groups of spots on the
sum-" Mr.. Gasbill-"I wish he would
come to Pittsburgh and make an effort
to discover the sun itself."-Pittsburgh
Chronicle-Telegraph.
Easily Done.-Of course he thought
he knew it all. A man always does.
"When it comes to the art Of managing
servants" he began. Its very easily
done," she interrupted. "Oh, you adj
init it, do you?" he asked. II d." she
said. ''It's like managing children. All
that is necessary is to let them have
their own way Chicago Evening
Post.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1898-02-25
Dldn't Look 1t.

"These are very fine suspenders." said the
peddler to the lady. at the door. Il have
all kinds-striped, plain, dark, light. Now
here is a very fine pair of plain ones Did
you ever cmbroider. any suspenders for
your husband, lady,"
NO." said she.
Nov don't you think you'd like to EN-:
broider pair for his Christmas PRESENT.
II guess not"
well, has he a real nice pair Of suspend
ers for his Sunday clothes?" persisted the
peddlcr.
Really. I don't know" said she.
"Well. madam, is your husband in?'
mo; he's not here yet"
do you expect him in before support"
"No-surely not by that time"
"Well, haven't you any idea when he will
be here?"
mot the least idea"
"Humph-that's queer" unused the disap.
pointed peddler.
"Oh. not so very" said the young lady.
II haven't any husband detroit Free
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1898-02-25
800 Reward 300.

The readers of this paper will be pleased
to learn that there is at least one dreaded
disease that science has been able to cure in
al its stages, and that is Catarrh. Halls
known to the medical fraternity Catarrh
being constitutional disease, requires q
constitutional treatment. Halls Catarrh
Cure is taken internally, acting directly
upon the blood and mucous surfaces of the
system, thereby destroying the foundation
strength by building up the constitution and
assisting nature in doing its work The
proprietors have SO much faith in its cura-
tive powers that they offer One Hundred
Dollars for any case that it fails to cure,
Send for list of testimonials.
Address T. j. Cheney & Co., Toledo, O.
Sold by Druggists, 75c.
Halls Family Pills are the best.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1898-02-25
Making Up Her Mad.

"Why, Ethel, what are you doing with
that big medical work in your lap?"
well, Arabella. you'd never guess. l am
quite sure"
"You are not going to make physician
Of yourself, are you?"
mot at all. am trying to find out which
OF my two suitors love enough to marry.
What do you think of that?"
"How can a cyclopaedia of medicine help
you?"
"Well, it's this way Mr. Spondulicks
10 81 years Of age. He is worth S40O, 900 and
has consumption. MI. Dukkats is IS years
Bright. disease. thought perhaps this
medical book would help me to make up my
mind. have about decided that love
Mr.. Dukkats the better. Which would you
love:"-N. Y. World.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1898-02-25

$50 YOU ARE JOSCELIND?" SAID He.
whose diamonds. ovals and crescents of
brilliant colors were the pride of his
| horticultural heart, and she promptly
| came to his aid.
"Gardening indeed. Do you call this
gardening?" she said. ''Uncle Black,
I'm astonished that you keep such 4 man
| as this about the placc!"
And the torrent Of taunts and re-
proaches which she showered upon the
luckless head Of poor old John was
enough, as that individual observed, ITO
make ones flesh creep"
''My niece is young lady of spirit
and energy" apologized Mr.. Black,
when at last Joscelind had gone back
| to the house.
"Verra like you, sir, vera like YOU:
said old John. scratching his head.
"Like mel" said Mr.. Black, slowly
And he stood full five minutes, quite
speechless and motionless, staring at
the messy rim of an ancient suH-dial
half sunk in the velvet grass. And at
the end of five minutes he spoke two
other words, and only two:
'Like-me!"
s'There's no KNOWN the masther, he's
that changed" said Betty in the
kitchen. a week or two after. 'He's as
mild as a lamb and as peaceable as .
kitten"
':Sure, isn't that what the young lady
told u.s." said Sylvia, when she came
down into the kitchen that first morn
ing after the fire was lighted, and told
us she was goin' to try an experiment,
and we wasn't to mind a word she said.
cause it was all by contraries? He don't
know what his temper has got to be-
said she. 'and I'm going to show him.
And, bless her sweet heart. her plan
has worked like a charm"
It had. in good truth. Uncle Black
was a changed man. And Joscelind had
into the original sunshine of
her temper-and all the domestic wheels
of Black Grange seemed to revolye CD
velvet.
But Uncle Black took all the credit to
himself He never knew that Joscelind
had taught him lesson.
eve can get along very nicely" said
re, snow that my niece has subdued
hose little tempers of hers"
And Joscelind was his heircss and
Iarling after al]--for he VIII always
,eIieve that it was he "who formed heg
haracter Tribune.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1898-02-25

good as to throw these rolls out of the
window"
Betty stared.
"Do you hear what tell you?" said
Miss Darkridge, with emphasis.
And Betty flung the rolls out among
the rosebushes, where they were speed
lily devoured by Cato. the Newfoundland
dog. and Rob and Roy, the two settlers.
''But what am I to eat for breakfast?''
bewailed Uncle Black.
"Crackers, of course" said Joscelind.
"Anything is better than imperiling
ones digestion with such stuff as this!
And, Betty, if you send up any more
fish in a month you may consider your
self discharged-do you hear?"
''But. my dear. I am rather fond of
fish," put in the old gentleman.
''One can't eat fish the whole time -
said Joscelind. imperiously. "Here,
Betty-this coffee isn't fit to drink! and
the toast is burned! and you must have
put the cooking butter on the table by
mistake! Let these errors be rectified
at once"
Betty retired with IN ominous rustic
of her stitfiy starched apron.
"My DEAR" said Uncle Black, appre-
hensively, ''Betty is a very old servant
and"
II don't care if she is the age of Me-
thuselah," said Joscelind; nobody can
be expected to put up with such
wretched cooking as this!"
~ really think she is not so bad, if
ooh. pray don't apologize for her,
Uncle Black!" said Joscelind. "They
are all shiftiess, lazy creatures, who
must be discharged promptly if they
don't do their duties"
Uncle Black began to look frightened.
He had kept Betty, Sylvia and old John
for ten years. Was it possible that he
had scolded at them for ten years, only
to have Joscelind Darkridge outscold
him now?
II wouldn't be too short with 'em, my
dear. if were you" he demonstrated.
''Then let them do their duty" said
Joscelind, with the air of an empress.
1--WE are all mortal" pleaded Uncle
Black.
II expect everyone around me to live
up to their conditions" said Joscelind.
Uncle Black ate the rest of his break
fast with but little appetite. Sylvia. the
housemaid. was finishing busting his
library as he entered it.
"Not through yeti" growled Uncle
Black, the fretwork of wrinkles once
more coming into his brow.
':Sylvia." said Miss Darkridge, severe.
", IF this happens again shall dis
pense with your services! Look at that
clock! Is this the time Of day to DC
about the rooms with broom
and a buster? Remember Mr.. Black
does not pay exorbitant wages to lie in
bed until noon!"
Old John. the gardener, was not ex-
cmpt from his share of the general tur.
moil. Miss Darkridge CHANGED to hear
her uncle reproaching the old man for
some fancied neglect in the flower beds,
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1898-02-25

The Secretary of the Navy has demanded
more battleships, and there can be no doubt
that Congress will consider his recommend.
atoms. Protection is what our sea ports
require, and Notifications will not adeq uate.
~ supply this. Defense against all disorders
afforded by Hostetter's Stomach B;tters an
efficient remedy, also. for constipation, bill.
iousness, dyspepsia, rheumatism and nerv.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1898-02-25

The leading druggists sell Burnett's "Co.
coaine.' 1t is an absolute cure for dandruff.
besides making the hair grow by nourish.
ing the roots. Joseph Burnett Co., 81 India
which they send free to anyone interested.
entitled: The Hair, Its Care and Man.
agement.' 1t would be profitable reading
for almost everyone because there are very
few persons whose hair would not be greatly
benefited by more careful attention than i
receives
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1898-02-25

The John A. Salzer Seed Company, La
l,4OO barrels Of their celebrated Salzer's
Earliest 6 Weeks Market Potato to Texas
customers. This potato has the reputation
Of being the earliest, the finest favored and
the heaviest producing early potato in the
country.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1898-02-25
Could See Its Finish.

Bridc-Counting your change, George?
1t has been an expensive trip, hasn't it7
George-That's right. 1t looks as If
this honeymoon would soon be on its
last quarterback.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1898-02-25
HOAe Vefaua H0ea,

Lady lin dry goods store)-Id like to see
some hose, please.
Clerk tan ex.hardware man)-Yes, mad.
Evening News.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1898-02-25
1t Has 4 FOREIGN Sound.

French f1uently now?
Mrs: Brown-Well. she speaks something
f1uently, and it doesn't sound at all like Eng.
fish, so perhaps it may be French-Somer-
willie Journal.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1898-02-25

Where a man is too utterly triA;np to d.
anything else, he hunts up an estate Of h;s
ancestors that he was cheated out Of"
Washington Democrat.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1898-02-25

When man shakes hands with his den.
fist we wonder il he has ever done snv
work for him.-Washingto Democrat,
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1898-02-25

: The less energy man has. the easier he
: drifts into neutrality-suspicious. Globe
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1898-02-25

Stand straight and strong st. Jacobs
Oil cures lame back---cures promptly.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1898-02-25

After physicians had given me up, | va
saved by Piso's Cure.-Ralph Erieg, vii
Transport. Pa. Nov p, 1898.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1898-02-25

A sprain may cripple but st. Jacobs Oil
Will cure it before it can. 1t cures.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1898-02-25

The pain that tortures--sciatica. II
Cure that cures it-St Jacobs OIL,
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1898-02-25
Her Complaint

Mrs. Eewrocks-I don't like this restau.
rant at all.
Newrocks--Why not, my dear?
"Why, instead of calling the bill of fare
a menu they call the menu bill of farrell
Puck.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1898-02-25

People who can get no credit usually end
q, great deal Of fault with others who are
slow to pay-Washington Democrat.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1898-02-25

The mcanest thing one can do is not to ask
woman when she has a story to tell
Washington Democrat.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1898-02-25

When lovers form a combination an en-
sagement ring is the result.-Chicago Dali!
News.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1898-02-25

1t is not nearly always the richest people
who have the finest horse and buggy
Washington Democrat.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1898-02-25

Philadelphian-Yes sir, William Penn
was a great man. He founded great
city.
New Yorker-Pshaw, that doesn't
make him great. 1 have friend named
Jones. just plain Jones, clerk in u
brokers' office, and he went over TO
Philadelphia last week and did the same
thing.
Same thing? What thing?"
"Why, found dead a great city Up
tO-Date
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1898-02-25
Below Zero land the Be,t,

PEMBROKE latter the refusal -How cold il
is tonight My hands are chilled.
r.. Hwendolen-Well, have made you .
ought to keep them warm.-Yellow Book.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1898-02-25

To Cure . Cold In One DAY
Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets, All
druggists refund money if it fails to cure. 81
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1898-02-25

Married people laugh at things at the
theater which make girls look mad.--Wash.
inQton Democrat.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1898-02-25

Sore and stiff from cold; don't wait and
Suffer; use ST. Jacobs Oil and get cured.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1898-02-25

Use St. Jacobs Oil and say to rheumatism ::
"Will see you later
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1898-02-25

A man never gets too old to enjoy the pic.
ture of a pretty girl.-Washington Dem.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1898-02-25

Use st. Jacobs Oil promptly and freely
And say good bye to neuralgia
Richmond daily palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1876-1904, 1898-10-10

Dun's Review for last week deals
the following blow to calamityites:
The final returns of failures for the
third quarter of 1898 considerably ex-
coed last weeks estimate, numbering
in all , 500, with liabilities of $32, 6OS,-
pa, and of commercial failures only
$40. with liabilities of $25 ,lak, IS.
Comparisons given toby show that
the failures have been smaller than in
any other quarter since 1892, both in
amount, in average per failure, and in
defaults per firm in business. The
ratio of defaulted liabilities to solvent
payments through clearing houses was
Only $l.56 per 81 900, excepting in
1892, the smallest ratio since 1882,
when the modes of reporting were
essentially different. But for few
real estate failures in Alabama and
Chicago, the comparison would have
been far more favorable.
Richmond daily palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1876-1904, 1898-10-10
A CAT FOOT
Found in the Boiog Sausage
The Matter Referred to DR..
r. Henry Davis His Letter to
the Unfortunate People.

a day or so ago, at Fountain City, a
family purchased from a local dealer
some bologna sausage that made the
whole family sick. A sample of the
sausage was sent to DR.. Henry Davis
of this city for examination. The fam
lily was rather seriously i'll, and had TO
be under the care of physician. TIE
doctor upon examination in this city
found a cats foot in the sausages-a.sd
sent to the Fountain City dealers the
following characteristic letter:
Gentlemen: | have in my p ,ssession
a specimen obtained from bologna-.al-
legged TO have been bought at yo;ur
establishment. 1t was chewed and
and then eschewed. 1t is not a fobt
long, bat it is foot all the same, and
has claws. | am saving the claws. liz
you can give me satisfactory evidence
that it was not sold by you it will be
''your saving clause
For the pur pose of Identification Gf
still unsoid) please send me the bal
ance of the eat. This will obviate the
categorical inquiries, and perhaps
avert business catastrophe. Evident
" some bologna mandatory requires
catharization. This bologna was not
as is customary sold to boarding
house, but to an esteemed citizen, who
is still caterwauling about it.
7. HENRY DAVIS,
Health Officer.
Richmond daily palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1876-1904, 1898-10-10

The sermons delivered yesterday
from the various p llpits in the city on
the subject of Sabbath dissertation
were manly svowals of the stand the
church takes on the subject, and set
forth very clearly the evil element
that is in the Sunday sport. 1t is sci
dom that this community has been so
thoroughly aroused and such decided
pro and con positions taken on any
thing as has been taken for aud
against Sunday base ball in the past
week. 1t is only by arousin9 the
minds of the public on any subject,
and by compelling men and women to
take decided stands for or against that
independent thinking may be made to
prevail in any community, and that
the question may be expected to have
ultimately its correct solution from the
most practical standpoint.
Richmond daily palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1876-1904, 1898-10-10
W. f. NJ. s.
Held Hero November
3 and 4.
"A. u. COMPTON,,
Post Commander.

The Richmond district convention of
the Women's Foreign Missionary So
ciety will be held at Fifth street NJ. L
church, this city, November and 4,
1898, Mrs. Eldridge of Irvington will
bave charge of Bible readings and
services for young people. Mrs. C. G..
Hudson OF Elkhart. conference secre-
tary, will have charge of the round
table work and of a special meeting
for the district and auxiliary officers.
General b. r sCowan of Cincinnati
will address the meeting on Thursday
evening. There will be reports from
ali the organlzatl1n in the dis
triet, called auxiliary organizations.
and there will be a report for the
branch meeting at South Bend this
week. The district corresponding
secretary Will give a report. There
will be report from the district finan-
eial secr.tary. The amount raised
this year was $715 10 the district.
Richmond daily palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1876-1904, 1898-10-10
Winchester
HORTICULTURAL,
October Meeting of the Wayne County
Agricultural and Horticultural
Society.

In the society's room at the court
house on Saturday afternoon, the Sth
inst, the October meeting of this so
ciety assembled. Called TO order by
the president near the usual hour, and
the minutes were read and approved.
The display on the tables was fine
for this time of the year. James Smith,
four varieties of potatoes. Jersey sweet
potatoes, apple and champion ounces,
Concord and Niagara grapes and fine
mixed bouquet of cut flowers. Jesse
Stevens, large white corn, samples of
apples, peach, ounce and Russian
plums. o. d. Addleman. plate large
ounces. C. w. King. potatoes. j.
c. Ratliff. CARRIER and Deal pears and
five varieties of grapes. Mary 2.
Thory. Josephine Newkirk, Mary Sut
ton and Hannah G. Grave, each choice
bouquets.
From reports, the farmer and gard
ner has this year been blessed in har.
vest and in store. The enormous corn
crop is being cribbed without being
frost bitten, as is generally the case in
many localities.
The president and others in recent
travels over ours and sister states find
the abundant rains have produced ex-
cellent crops everywhere, and that In
diana ranks first, in their estimation.
in corn and fine growing wheat = the
garden spot of this republic, where
contentment reigns among happy
farmers on improved aud reasonably
well-kept farms.
But little clover seed is seen in this
locality. and corn is rotting badly, due
TO too much rain. where the stalks are
lying on the ground.
Joseph Ratliff, Caleb W King and
James Smith confirmed former fruit
and vegetable reports, finding the sea-
sons most favorable for the latter.
Some exeeptionable yields of sweet
potatoes were given. one being six
hills yielding over one-half busheI.
The prevalence of the scao on Ir-sd
potatoes is largely obviated by care in
the selection of seed. discarding
affected tubers.
Many members gave reports on our
recent Richmond fair. The vegetable
and grain departments, under the su-
pervision of our society. were well
filed. bus from scarcity of fruit, this
and the culinary classes were far be
low the expectation OF all, and the So
ciefy intends to cooperate in like man
ner if the fair is continued.
The following resolution was adopt
ed:
Resolved, That this society expresses
TO the management of the Richmond
fair Its generous and grateful thanks
as an appreciation OF the eourtasies 50
freely and Hospitality given TO our
members at the recent fair
Mary Parry Thorp read an excellent
paper. entitled Our Rural Homes. =
that was appreciated and compliment
ed and ordered submitted for publica-
Richmond daily palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1876-1904, 1898-10-10

The season membership tickets for
the musical club are on sale at the
residence of the secretary, Mrs. Bessie
Coffin, 1921 Main street, and also at
Starr piano store room, corner tenth
aud Main, Monday. Tuesday and We'd
nesday. All are requested 10 procure
their tickets at one or the other of
these places before Wednesday, the
day of the concert. in order to avoid
the rush and confusion at the door.
All classes of ticket however, will be
on sale at the door of the Pythian
temple, Wednesday. October 18th.
from p. m. Tomorrow Clue sday J
evening the final chorus rehearsal with
the soloist Mrs. Griffin, will be held at
the First Presbyterian church from z
TO O'Clock. 1t is necessary for all
chorus members TO be present prompt
ly. mon tues
Richmond daily palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1876-1904, 1898-10-10
F0ULKE'S FUN.
William Dudley Fouike Pokes Fun al
the Family Coa.s-of- Arms In the
Most Ruthless Manner.
WASHINGTON Post

Washington Post
It seems that, some tina in Nav last
the descendants of Edward Foulke,
who settled In Montgomery county two
centuries or SO ago, held q family re-
union. About six hundred persons
were present on the occasion land there
was great rejoicing, not TO mention the
usual supply of mutual admiration.
The really important result of the cele-
bration, however. was the agreement to
prepare and formulate a genealogical
tree for the Foulke family, and. in due
time, to brandish it in the faces of the
Philadelphia aristocracy, especially
that section of it which lays claim to
royal lineage.
Now, after some months of laborious
excavation, the Foulke committee have
completed the family pedigree and
laid it before an astonished and de-
lighted world, and, what is still more
TO the purpose, before that eminent
Magwump and reformer, the Hon.
William Dadley Fouike, of Richmond,
Indiana. We shall not undertake to
folio. the majestic history in which
the royal origin of the American
Foulkes is immortalizad. Even In this
opuIently equipped off e the supply of
eonsonants Is unequal to the demands
of a Welsh pedigree. 1t may serve
all needful purpose to say, however,
that the Indiana Foulke has carefully
examined the statement and gives to it
his cordial. if not enthusiastic ap-
prevail. Indeed. after emerging from
a perfectly bewiidering labyrinth of
B.eddyns and Glyndfrdwys, and Gruf
fyds aud Llanua cnilins, Hon. William
Dudley Foulke recoYers breath enough
TO say
1T viii be seen from this that very
little of the royalty of Europe has
managed to escape from the ancestry
OF the Foulke family. II is to be re-
gr.fted that the grand princes of Mos
eos, the Shahs OF Persia, and the en-
pero-s of China, cannot as yet be clear
IL identified. but It il to hoped that
time and still more exhaustive re-