Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1898-08-18
"You're sympathetic and inte1ll-

fOure Sympalhet1c ana lHtell
gent. You'll understand" Jones re-
piled. Swell, to begin with, II don't
like cold water. It may be q heredi-
tary instinct, but the fact remains.
I hate it anywhere, and if there is one
place I hate it in worse than another
it is my bath of morning. like my
bath at blood heat-always have it so.
Now I've got to take it cold. I bar
gained for all I was worth about it.
It's my business to bargain, of course,
and l did it well; but he wouldn't hear
word. Absolutely cold baths are
what you want he said; and that's
what Pm having. This weather, too!
I go in a normal color, and come out
purple. The rot that's talked to me
about a beautiful warm glow would
make Job swear if he'd had u circula-
ton like mine. Warm glow indeed!
When I'm dry I present the appear
ance of an Indifferent statue with blue
nails and St. Fitus' dance; and don't
get warm again till we'll on in the aft
ernoon. It can't be right. And before
go in have to strip and do variety
of absurd things with dumbbells. This
takes about 20 minutes and leaves me
so .prostrated that when Edo get into
my bath I scarcely have strength
left to crawl out again. Then, when
I'm partially dressed, I've got to do a
lot of other degrading things Jumps
and hops and skips, and silly sort of
performances you might teach dog.
These are designed to harden me.
When. it's. all over I generally have to
send my wife Tor a nip of old cognac
before can shave. Look at my chin
to-day My hand trembles so that
can hardly hold the razor. It's cruel,
if you ask me. I'm not SO young as
was, and by the time I've finished and
dressed and put on my boots and said
my prayers, you could knock me down
with feather. totter to breakfast,
feeling asHifS I hadn't slept for week.
I lose my temper with the family, say
things 1 regret al day afterwards, and
only just begin to steady after an
ample meal. Then comes the medicine.
I needn't weary you with description
of that In fact, no words would con-
What combina ton of drugs achieves
this frightfuls result I know not. But
the bouquet, sWhenaI draw the cork,
renders my @whole family, circle I'M
easy. i have totake 1t three times
day, and life@is one long agonized sus-
spense. I am exhausted and ready for
bed before lean BE said to have really
got up BY the way, did you see what
'Katfirs' did yesterday? It'ssthesworlz-
house, for and mine if this goes on. :"
I did not see him again for fort
night, and feared the worst. Then he
appeared, the picture of health.
I'LL How goes itS?'.I said. Il :, ~
He had evidently forgotten his for"
amer doleful tale.ex@s ess IA
"Never Better" lie declared, thanks
to aschap: in Harley street-a perfect
genius, I assure you. The simplicity
of the remedies, too! These special
lists are wonders. Blessed if I know
how they do it! 7 went ractically. a
dying man, and look a 2me!" III ID
what Vas tie elixir ?" Lasked# &
Il" Coldtub and dumb 3 said Jones,
"a =: t. some triaingphysic ii
agreeable to the taste. I've got abso~
lutely to like it. Do you have cold tub
and dumbbells? If not. let me implore
you to begin them. They'd make a
m.aan'ofyou. Such a glow! Such an ap-
spetite!# Nothing life it.# Bys' hesway,
did YOU see st41at terrific junnp IN 'Kaf-
frs" Congratulate me. 1 person
ally"
"a He Here he became; confidential.-E. P,
in%Black and White. SO : = ~
Lucid Witness.
- Many gstoriese are told of witnesses