The sea coast echo., 1898-04-02
Reuben Pitchfork's Letter.

Is Deer Mtstur Echo. T'other day | picl
OF up papur, and ther very fust thing
IN seed wnz bout this hyar Gosh 'talmgl
r. war Why, bless my gallusess. Y
M Know | have jist bin thinkin' thet al
" heered at ther Bay bout war wuz
y doggone tnlishness, aud he'd cum to II
! conclushun thet thare woodn't be no W
then rabbit. Wa-al now, mir bergi
m ter believe thet we shore air goin'
neN nun time, aud thet moughty SUI
S Ter ther big papurs o. ther city air Ii
. chuck full % war talk. / wuz talkin,
{ oid captain at ther Bay t'other da
and he lows thet war wood list be IN
thing fer ther ountrv and thet he kno,
ed thing ur tow bout fitin', seein,
{ how lie had tte in ther las war long vii
ther Cuntederits. Ther way thet OF Can
dld chnrn out thet war bazoo % his'n W,
cawshun ter Spaniards. He tol' ms a
ooul ttln' and how menny times he he
got hls hat shot otl'n his he'd, and ho
hed 1ist go aud wade rite inter thor Yar
KEGS IKE theY wuz no more'n a creek
Watnr' oh' he sputterd tibet out te,
me ~ CRATE style, and he euds hit up b
slapPlh' mo on ther back aud low,
Young man, go lode yer shot gun, an
glt reddy ter foller this hyar oil war hoss
| Ter I'm goln' ter lede yer ter battle eryil
them air varmints o. Spaniardsl" | lux
ell at hm and lows thet wuz goin' will
him. lcf' him putin wusser'n n pom,
| puSs, aud | went erouu' and rot ter talk
in ter n nuther Old "vet.p | top hin
whut ther Cap'n he'd sed, and he LATED
all ovur hiSsef and lowed thet thet nj,
OF cuss o. u captn didn't dew n thing
bnt jist lite out fer Devil Swamp when
ther air got blue rnun' the Bay, aud thet
he wood a died eta Yankee he'd showed
his he'd round sum stump and sed:
Hello, Mistur Cap'n!"
Thet mite went ter see ther widder,
and | thot then when she open'd ther
dore thet Their atmusfere warn't rite, and
hit smelt o. salt water. Hit wuE only
wheu iukeC in them purity eyes o. her'n
thet l made out whut wuz ther matter.
Bless my buttons, she he'd bin a erwin. |
stood thar iist like y fule, not knowin'
whar ter dew when l seed them purity
ewes all lukiu' so red and swollen By
Jiminey, shore felt like takin her tew
my brest and cumfortin' her in her
trubbleS, Hit made me feel moughty bad
ter see all thet. but / newer sod nuthin'
bout hit rite thar. fer ueece o. her'n
wuS in ther parlor, tew. sot down aud
hergin tar talk 'bont one thing aud t'other
and arter whilc ther neoce she lit ont'n
ther room, aud thet lef me and ther Wild
der all lone by oursells in ther parlor.
| hraced up kurrige and aNed her what
made them eyes o. her'n lux like they he'd
bin iinh' . waterworks cumpenny, tibet
is, l meen cryin'. She turned ther cutler
o. beet aud drapped her he'd, SOS
coodnt see, but | wuz tew quick. pull
ed my chare up close ter her'n aud begged
her ter tell me all, fer bit nigh broke my
hrest bone ter see whar she he'd bin a
sheddin' salt water. / talked cussedly
low and sweet, and reely s'prized myself
and ther more talked ther better / did
git till thet air darlin' cummenced tew
rryin' agin. than | swar l coodn't hone
hit, but / jist grabbed her 'roun' ther
neck and draw'd her he'd ON my sholder. |
Crate Beeswax frum Tallercreek! How n
feller dew feel iist bout thet time! | tell
1ew shore did feel like Good lick enny.
boldly rite thar, even Bob Fitzsimmons. |
begun ter smuthe her hare, and call her
peppermint draps and ther sweet names |
GOOD think on, aud she cried all ther
more. tor her eff she'd tell me who he'd |
bused her, I'd lick him wussern his mann
NY ever did. l thot hit wuz that gay
lertesser, She lowed thet ther reasun |
Nuz cause she knowed thet ther turrible |
war wuz cummin', and thet he'd ter go
'rway and tite them air Spanishmen, and |
The knowed thet l wuz shore ter git kill |
ID, and all sich like. She lowed thet hit |
yiv her thercole shivvereeus when she |
hunk o. hit. suthed her bes' Good and |
)rommlssed OF he'd ter go ter war wood |
% one o them home-gards and keep them |
lir Spanish botes frum cummin up Jurdin
liver. Thet made her feel allrite; and she |
n fAd n nRNl pt,n N,,ltr tr.NI ~.
yel she air. kin js. tell yer lite now
.het this hyar hyfalootin' Perfesser haint
'tandin' eny more show then muzzled
iorg in pie factory, and eff ketch him
'ulin'thar with them jaw-b -brakin' wurds o.
lis'u thet noboddy kant ouderstan' no
now, tell yer thar be bysickle guin'
roun' lackin' owner. and sumboddy
will be warin' Grape, ur my name haint
tube Sayl tof ther wdder all bout
,her way l beet Mr.. Pertesser in ther by
sickle race t'other mite. She affed all
lvur her face, and lowed that he tol' her
he he'd beet me ridin' all holler. o.
course she lowed es how she knowed he
wuz tellin' whollupin' big tb, aud thet
she kuowed Good beet him. oh! tell
you air all yard and wool wide 'rouud
thar; and she, wa-al, she's n screamer!
Yas stree Bobl | air ther only bird in
thet tree.
Mary9 No; Mary is iist like ded ter me.
Nav lows tibet ef | kin ketch thet mir
widder thet I'll be ther glory o. her 'xist-
unce, and thet she'll put isis" jimmie in
sassiety neX' summer. But jimmie dom
keer, for she air ded sot on thet Teller
" hut plays ther music so well, aud fotch-
es her peppermint draps.
Crate Gun Botes! fergot ter tell yew
'bout Silas! He air going ter git tangled
up wd ther Perkins outfit Yas, he is
sho' going ter marry 'Lizabeth Perkins
ther only darter O. Mrs. Funnygraf Per-
kns, and ther neck -brakin' takes place
nex' week at ther Swallercreek meetin'
house. Pore 81! he shore is got my SYM
pathy, but l perdicts thet hit won't be
fore he'll wish ter thcr Lord thet he'd
newer plade thet bone dus trick on me,
fer thet oil Funnygrafll make him think
he he'd fall heir tew basketful o. snakes,
stead o. sweet wife. Pore boy! hit
makes my liver axe ter think bout his
mlssforchun. But yew kant tell Isl" eny
thing, fer he W ont listen ter yew ohe min
nit. Whenever yew talks ter him o. hit
he jist lows: "Wa-al, Rube, l reckin es
how knows bout whut | air doin', don
Ifp His he'd is es hard es n keg o nails,
Gosh burn my tater! but l don't see how
ther Uncle Sam army is gom' ter dew
without "Mac." Dew yew know whut
lceked ont, and cum ter my yeers only
yesterday? / wuz talkin' ter o feller, and
be sed: ''Say. Rubel kin yew keep sum
thin ter yers'lfl' "Lordy, yas," seys l;
81 air an oyster" ''Wa-al," seys:he, ''yew
know me aud Mac air good frens, and he
to- me sumthIh'. He lowed ter me thet
he wuzn't no fule, aud eff they declared
war, thet he he'd an uncle who is a doctor,
and thet he wood git certiiilet lowini
thet he wuz sick with sum heart trubbie,
ur sumrhin' n nuther, and coodn't go ter
fightin', ur war nuther." Wa-al / iist
LATED ter see how skeered Mac wuz, and
how when ther war would brake out