The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1898-08-06
HUMOROUS ITEMS.

S>~~~.o~-~~~~-~~~~~~
Ahsent-rninded Professor On the ba,n-
| tub,-"Well. we'll now | have F ~,
what | got in here for. - ues 7N''e
| BlaettCr. a., .,,.;,,,
"Iook. mother" cried Teddy toint1inss
| to . footnan in fashionable livery va
| mans got his cuffs around MS neg"
| Youths Companion
Fosdck -"Tenspot thinks that ne Is one
| of the big guns ,ath
| Kccdick-"Hc is one of the smooth
| borcs Detroit Free Press.
| He Indignantly hope / know my
oN She .'' 1swcctly,-"Yes, You surely ought
| to know as much as that.'-rit- Bits.
Kind Party-'If ! give you this leb'ly'
what will you do with 1t iattefS tsa..
c,sticaiIyl-"I'll be honest with you: guy
| nor IN snend it III rictous living. lit
| Bits.
Who was the best advertised sea cap
WHY. Noah. His method Of adrertis-
| ing flooded the country. 4 hliadeii''''
! Bulletin.
Her First Trip-"What are we stop
| ping for now:
Were going to put the pilot off.
| How cruel, What did the poor mar
do:''-Truth.
Mrs. Bcnham-"Was the hotel where
you stopped homelikeE'
Benham-"Very. There wasn't thing
on the bill Of fare that was fit to eat
! New York World.
Mrs. .Joggins-"Wily, has your moth
or been buying new rug: Willy
yes. You wouldn't know there was
| hole i'm tSe carpet now, would YOU: -
| Memphis Scimtar.
Il regret that lost my temper this
morning. Harry" she SAID. ..
| ,-,,, ,,,ar find If rain ''-I'bll11pl
! phia North American.
First StatesmanL"l SEQ that !you were
! interviewed AT length yesterday Second
! Statesman ,surprisedl Is that so? But.
| now I think of It, | did find reporter"
| card when ] Got home. Life.
| full woman" Bctterhaws-"Sos min'-
You couldn't imasine all the things She
| thinks about me if | happen to be detained
| down town. Cincinnati Inquirer.
Miss Rattlcr-"I don't mind bathing.
| but | dctest diving
! Miss Newcomer-"N by 50:
| Miss R.-"oh. You can't talk under Wa
ter, YOU know New York Herald.
ON the Way IIome-.Iimmy Didn't
Won hear the Sunday school teacher sly
! YOUR conscience is what tells YOU when
! You do wrongE" Tommy-'It's a good
| thing it don't tell your mother. Puck.
Ycast-"Jesse tells me he is practicing
in the courts; | didn't know thnt h" had
! been admitted to the bar
'flihHohorh ~ HaHI I. 1t "
ms courts H. "i''iiS'
hdn'
l'fuihil.r- y PIoIoHSt" 'ohiii'' 10 ="
| serious thl'G. 80,
| Landlord f"ttyvllle Tavern 1"Nr
alrlrr' - 'iiin H'I Oh Liun" III
t;t,r,I ~ ~ ~
Did You ever have narrow escape
| from DEATH
| htd Il narrow escape once from iv-
!nS. came within one number OF get
,tnS me c7pial prize III the lottery.
I'm, il,i'll ril"iIei'
-
~. ." quiet.
"a
" 81, what IL II
" hdt dId the Dead sea die HfE-I"n-
don Sporting Times.
Shc-''IIHvc ynu ever formed any idea
Of what III angel really looks like He
taiter som" Internationally | don't
believe have. lie found lettering on
her rich papa : porch unpleasant after
that .-Clryrlaud oal.r
sstt-o11 r., froJ a., ,.,,, =, ;, NJ,
"Did III, ~, ~ ,t-itI, , r,r,1,- e.;1 H.
iccns,I,
''\o she went off with = uorpr,f,ur.
added ssr. stnJr,lv-Jartmr-s E,zar
nv '''''i - p b'~''t
,. III ,n"t !'u. ~. aSh'I me mn r
Wbat = H.. sa,irrI, rr,,'l -. ~ ,ial'!,
Inn,,. r.,l;,J ~ ror,ioxa, ,, t,''
..Vnn 500 hi. atiL prilnGAeo h l",ne 1
l4' So ms Il'ih"r cafri,s me c"de
What does vour father do Utt,o cirIs..