davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1898-04-02
A BUNCH OF GOOD STORES,

In Lady Gregory's newly published
"reminiscences she says OF George Tvs
trip to Ireland IN 1891. "The king ar
rived after n good passage, during
which much gocsc pic ard whisky had
been consumed. Word had just come
Of the death Of Napoleon ut st. Helena.
The story goes that Sire, your enemy
Is dead were the words he wa greet
cd With. When did she die?' was his
response. But the queen was indeed
also dead"
In the course OF a speech IN support
Of his "fox-sca!p" bill IN the Kentucky
legislature. Representative Hatfield. OF
Pike county. said: II ask Tor the pass
age of this bill IN the interest OF religion
and morals. If you pay no bounty for
fox scalps no one will kill the foxes; II
no one will kill them they will kill the
chickens; and whar you have no chick
ems you have no preachers, and whar
you have no preachers you have no re-
iigion ard no morals"
Speaker Reed recently wished to sec
g political friend Oh come Very import
ant business and telcgrapheG him to
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1898-04-02

.N.H"" "H
'shey told her she couldn't have tile
baby without a check, ami she'd have 10
wait till the other babies were taken
away. and then she could take wha: was
left so she waited fo5 hours and hours,
til all the babies wers gone out. and
when she. went to get t:at-we!l. the
only baby left was 4 ceiored baby"
"Oh. now perfectly awful!' exclaimed
the girl with the Ice cream soda, In ac-
cents of horro:. "Wh0. did she do?
Wasn't che perfectly frantic? My good
ness. how hcrrIbleI Didn't she ever get
her baby back again? ] should think
she'd have been perfectly crazy. What
did she do?"
oh" said the chocolate girl, coolly,
SHE took the colorcd baby. II was hers.
She "a colored. yon know"
And In the silence which followed !
could hear the swapping o: the bonds OF
a tender and lifelong friendship. {
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1898-04-02

ing he Is in a rush and n stew 70 reach
tne Office. He bolts his breakfast, kisses
me goodbye on she run, ana Is one iii
even:ns, Tor he lunches down town. At
dinner he Is In nervous haste 10 rat
away TO meet some business engage
mcnt;' ruEs hurriedly through his paper
ana Is gone again. Wher he reaches
nome am in bed. or we're borh 80
~ IL We wanted 10. You. perhans tyon.,
understand, for your knowledge Of mar.
r!ei lie Is n theory. But there are some
thiriss about which he and 1 must cnn-
suit. ! have 70 manage the affairs Of
ms house, and want his advice. i Mt
leas: would Ike 20 have him manl,as, =,
little interest. and / rather think TINT his
approval would do me lots OF good"
Tie letter was mailed. The husband
auSled h~!lariously. Then 4 sober Sec
ond thought took possession OF him. He
and his little wife are full partners now.
and she looks like a bride once moro.
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1898-04-02

write a piece fer n nv them big mag
azinei called 'Rsccn. Progress IN
Science 4 Pane: Showin' the Advan-
taSe Nv r'tllIZin' the Power II " the
Nigglus Narratives In the Produck-
shun wv Country Butter er soncthin'
like that. an blame my hide ef the
fool editor didn't give him n hundred
dollars fer 1t. Peter nllu3 had q way w
lookin' out fc: numbc. one. an when
his wife died he took her Ter the c!;urci;
in his milk wagon as he q goln' ter
deliver milk, list ter ave expenses. an
VIXEN thes' war Soin' 10 ring the bell he
sed they'd bette" not, as Il nigh. sour
his miik-yes, sir, that's SHAT he did.
When he d!eii.i. war found that he'd
put 1t III his will that twenty-five cents
admission was te: he charged at his fr-
neral, but some lowed that wasn't 50
men as he let children come at half
price, It's strange how some people
want the earih."-New York Journal.
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1898-04-02

opposite sides OF the house as to have 4
man propped up be,aSeen US that way. I
do wish my husband had 4 little judS-
'ment about such matters"
Maybe he could get the seats chang
ed" said the sister. land then that man
will be welcome to the lone seat he has
bought in that row. all by himself;
The lawyer took the tickets and pre-
tended 10 go back to the theatre With
them. He said there were no more
seats, and that they would have 10
take those or stag at home. He had
seats together, he said. but It couldn't
be done.
.It must be a good play. then" said
the wife. III the seats are all sold nov. I
guess we had better 80. Just 10 spite
that old man who Is going to sit there
between us all the time. | know he will
go out between the acts every time. and
ono OF us will hive to get ZIP and let
him pass. Then he will come back chevy
Ing cloves and believing that nobody
will know why he went ont. That is the
way men do when they so TO the, thea
tte. alone
The day they were 10 go TO the thea
tire the two womeE adopted n new rue.
The lawyer heard them talking & over,
but he did not SAY 4 word.
III tell you what we'll do" said his
wife 10 her sister. when VIC get there
and that mar comes In I'll ask him 10
change seats with one OF us, SO that we
Gamble together. That will be all right,
and when we have exchanged seats
wen thank him and then givo him the
cold shoulder"
The wicked husband stepped Into the
next room to laugh. He made his es-
cape from the house as quickly as pos
sble. afraid that his face would be-
tray him. The two ladies' went to The
theatre. and, cure enough. when the
curtain went up there was the racan:
sea. between them.
"I have n good mind to take It" said
one OF them. when that man comes In
he might not know the difference"
They decided. though, thai the man
might make trouble about II. and &C.
cupied the seats for which they held
the cheeks. Presently the man WHO had
been discussed so much came In. One
Of the ladies stood up to let him pass,
and both were so angry that they would
not look at him. He seated himself be-
tween them.
About that time the two ladies' stole 4
glance at him. The lawyers wife rccog-
nizcd her husband. and her sister saw
her brother-in-law! He was the horrid
.,So a .H.#n...e.H ..#H.|..a -...r
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1898-04-02
A BARGAIN IN JUSTICE.
Knowing ilaw the Judge May Sometimes
Paw the Tine,

Judge: Southern Justiee--Wn-al, ST,
It's way evident 20 got drunk an set
fire 10 the town pump, an s.cked yo'r
dawG onto the temperance evangelist.
an shot TO bulli;s into tie ice watah
tank at the Young Mems Christian So
citation. an I must conscQuentially find
y0' guilty an fine ya' three dollars, sub.
Prls0ner-Wa-al. Jedge, l kin only say
that I consider sech / fine eZ that uncon-
stitutional, an. by jiminty! l won't
pay II.
Iustice-Wa-al, 81, that's on'y one dol
lah for each n~frenSc. an them's regular
wholesale prices: hut s'posen I call It
two dallahs 70 the l0.? How's that"
Prisoncr-Wa-al. ledge. I kin on'y say
that I consider a two-deIiah fine as III
fring!n' on the Missouri Compromise
an. by Jimmy! l won't pay that, neither.
Justice Slightly nettlcd)-Wa-al.
then. TO the Lawd'.s sake. how much do
yo' think IT, wurTh-nr do yo' S'pe2t this
here cots a'goin' 20 put It's hand down
into its trousers pocket nm pay yo'
su.hIn' 70 doin' It"
PrisoEer-Wa-aI, jjedge. 7 didn't come
here 70 20 joke, an I tell yo' seriously I
don't think 1t iain't wuth no: much
mon n doliah,
Justicc-Wa-al, 81. s'pose We call Il n
doIlah, then. an you ask this cote 70 icv
suthin' ovah TO Jakc's aftah the coles
adjourned"
PrlsoHcr-.Al right. jcdEc: I'd be WILL
in to do the right thing that way.
Justlcc--Anl right. then. I fine yo'--
Prisoner Observation-Disclosures y6'll
take the dollah Oh: In coon skins, jedse.
Justice--M right. 81. | fine yo'--
Prisoner Chas;ily)-An' lend me yo'r
bicycle 10 learn 10 ride OF.
Justicc-All right. 81. ! fine
Prlsoncr-An' hol' me on whilst I'm
learnin'.
Justlcc-Al right. 81. l.
Prlenncr-An' show my oil woman n
few p'ints on II, too.
Justicc-N0w. see here. ST Perkins:
don't yo' go a-crowIin' this ere cosc too
FUR. sub. fol kin lick yo' the bcs' day
yO' evah wuz born, understar', an
Prisoner mully)-S'a!l right. jedse: I
humbly %'pologi7c. I don't blame yo' n
bit To- kickin' on my OIL woman: 50 jcs'
let the decker stan the way 1t wuz an
come on Ovnh to Jnlsc's.
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1898-04-02

and Incoming the best Known doctor /,
Russia b. lore middle age had secured
n handaeme competency. He VA,
somewhat OF u character. and bis fats
OF eccentrlclty added 10 his fame Win
SO much patronage Mt his command h.
always Insisted upon being Obeye,.
When the state OF the late emperor be.
came alarming the governor Of Moscow
received It letter from ST. PETERSBURG
ordering him to send Prof. Zakhann
without delay. The governor despatch.
ed his olde-de-camp 10 the doctor. III
two hours said the doctor, ''lhe q,
prpss train VIII stait." THE express,
What do You mean?' exclaimed Tie
professor THE emperor is III and you
talk TO me about u train leaving In tSo
hoursh Go to the railway manager md
command him 10 gee 4 special tra!.
ready for me in twenty mlnuteS!" At
the end Of that time the train was
speeding out OF the depot with the doc.
inr obDgrl
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1898-04-02
ABSrNT-MiNDEDNESS
Forgot Something Of the Most Critical
Momcnt Of His Life.

Here Is n "truc story" OF an absent
minded man to whom 1; came handy"
TO forget. Said one OF his friends: II
could set sight here on this nal! key
| from now I'll! the Connecticut river
turns round and run upstream an
tell YOU about the different things I
| know that Hank forgot, first an last:
hut III only mention Il instance. an
That happened at the time Hank got
married.
You see, Hank knew his ta!lin' as
well as9nnyboty, an lie was mortal
afraid he would Forget abaut givin' the
minister the Zee; so he kop' his mind
glued right 20 that. an completely for
got everything else.
"Elc was to be married In the cvenin'
nj the parsonage, an when he went
round there. al! alone by himself. Mt the
app'lntea time an mcandcred Into the
parlo" an told the domino TO 70 ahead
With the snllcin'. the good man looked
up. Eort O puzzled and surprised like,
on said:
"'iIaven't forgotten suth-
In, Mr.. HDbbs?"
mo said Hank. still tlinkin' Of the
| ~, ''t NV " i'E'it snS'S w 'S Np't
pocket. Might as well pay you gov as
ans time.
Why, bless you. my friend. ] want
{hlnkln' OF tho fee, said the parson.
Trim" enough for tina, after I earn IT.;
put l-er-notlccd you'd forgotten the
bride. an
ny Jimmy Gays IIankS glanclng
FOUND. SO ! have. Mighty glnd YOU
spoke of Il, ] was almost sore I'd for
gotten somcthin'. but l couldn't think
what Il was,
"He grabbed his hat an went Oft on a
Jump after Ills intended. lie got back
with her before the dominic closed UP
the parsonage for tho night. but II was
2 closc shave; an when the story go.
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1898-04-02

New York Weekly: Average Man-My
goodness! The insurance on this IONS
ran gu: to-day, and ! forgot to renew i,
mere do you keep your Kerosene?
Wite-in the kitchen closet.
Hare Il carefully carried outdoors a,
once What sort OF matches are we
"Pag!nr matches.
bara every one up and bring down
your Grcat-grandmother's ,indc- l.oy
from upstairs. Then SEND the servants
10 bed before the moon stops shining
q make cure that the kitchen range T.
AXed right Ill attend to the furnace
myseif." ~
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1898-04-02
4 Clever Reputation.

Washington Post: There was n stun
ming looking girl up at the Congress
sional library Monday, and she partlc-
ularly wanted 10 sec nil the George May
nard paintings.
"Who is George Maynard" asked the
equally stunning girl who was with her.
rs he clever? I've never hcnrd OF him.
"Never heard of him." snid the first
girl, why. | should say lie was clever.
! met him over In New York last win
ter. and he asked me n conundrum that
they say he made up all by himself"
''Oh. do tell IL" snld the second girl.
81 don't remember Nil Of It," answered
the first, "bu; IL was something about
what's the difference between u fright
cncd man aud n leopard. and the first
part OF the answer IL that one Is rooted
to the spot, but | don't remember the
rest of II. He's just drendfully clever,
though. and he paints pictures, too"
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1898-04-02
WROTE TO HER HUSBAND.
How a wife Secured Her Busy's Alteration,
Once More.

chiSago Chronicle: TIE young wife Of
a busy North Slider is no longer suffer-
ing neglect from her cli-Intentloned but
preoccupled husband. Here ia the story
OF how II came about:
- want you 10 address this letter for
me- said she to her best friend. then on
a visit to the house.
Very well, whom to?2
TO Robert Angesey, at this number
and avenue"
What. your own husband. dear?
What under the sur do you mean by
writing TO him, and he is a home every
day in the week."
I'm not going to argue the matter,
and the letter is prepared. You direct
the envelope 80, that he will read the let
ter from curiosity IL nothing else. I
have no objection 70 explaining to you in
confidence. Robert nevet. seems to have
any spare time TO talk things over. with
me. When he comes down in the MORN
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1898-04-02

tered the room rather unceremon'ous9'
without Knocking and In a hurry. ea.
pected TO find Gladys alone, aud 'hs'
was also q gentleman there, who ~"
somewhat c%onfuscdly rs I went In
"8ut Gladys, dear girl, never 'N1
her presence of mind.
"'Hallo. George she said allow ",
to Introduce to you mY brother ""'
India -,
Delighted. I am sure cried %
took the Johnnie's hand. We onsa' "
become great chums, you and l.,
"'Oh, err stammered the JohoEf'
and why?'
".Well. you see.' l answered af;e.,
mined 10 make Gladys blush, l aaM,
you know, have been her brother !''D
India. "-Pick-Nlc-Up.
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1898-04-02
SideIiqhts on History,

With her babe clasped closely to her
bosom. Eliza sprang upon the floating
Ice and dashed niadly across the swol-
len stream. lcapinG from block 10
block, needless OF the thousand deaths
that threatened her, and bent only on
escaping from horrors worse than
death.
Behind her Wa slavery.
Before her was liberty.
And the raging to:-:ut of the Ohio.
on whose turbid boso& tlodted swir!lns
cakes Of broken Ice. rolled between.
Yells OF rage from her bafled pursu-
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1898-04-02
TINE BEST HUMOR OF THE DAY.

era reached her cars, growing fainter
and fainter as she sped on her perilous
Journey.
She reached the opposite bank.
Then, and not TILL then, did shc look
behind her.
Standing on free soil. and breathing
tho air or liberty, she turned and shook
her fists at tho human bloodhounds
Whose figures she could see dlmlv on
The further shore.
Talking about yer cake walks," she
said, "how's that?"-Chlcago Tribune,
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1898-04-02

tion would ~necessisate. But l wish 10
assure You that II, after what l have
said, you think you know more abous
this elevator than l DO. You are at per-
feet liberty TO step in ard take its man
agemert out Of my hands."-Boston
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1898-04-02
Great Forehead,

Great Forchead-Firs; Boy-My zap
.knuws more than your papa docs
Second Boy-T bet he doesn't III
you ever see my papa: Ills t1EensA'
reaches down 10 the back Of MS neal
London 1NL-Blts.
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1898-04-02

didn't figure on standing up In this hor-
sid car. Wasn't 1t d.eadtul?"
The woman who wondered why she
did 1t %chncklcd, but .'manma" was
shocked; and the fat man still insists
that some pretty girls have absolutely
no sense,--Ncw York Sun.
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1898-04-02
iler Broth erErom India.

1t Is uni,ind OF Roger to tell tales oct
of school. one should kiss and keep
ones ZIP shut.
~ must admit" he says, that | Is.
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1898-04-02
Not So Remarkable Alter All.

Dc sapplc.-l believe my dog knows as
much us | do,
she-I'vc seen smarter dogs than that,
-puclS
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1898-07-29
FEVER STRICKEN CITY
New Cases at Santiago
Now Four Hundred.
FOUR DEATHS In ONE DAY

Victims Are Not All Suffering From
Yellow Jack-Dfssase of n Mild Type
-shafter Reports That His Men Are
Being Located in Better Camps.
Washington, July ga dispatch
received by General Corbin from Gen
eral Shafter says that 396 new cases of
fever of all classes were reported in
his camp before Santiago yesterday.
AS the same dispatch reports only four
deaths, none of them from yellow
fever, from among the hundreds of
fever cases in the camp, the war
authorities are more than ever inclined
to the belief that the yellow fever cases
are of mild type. Previous dis
patches from ShafteI and the medical
officers of his corps have indicated the
existence in camp of very large num-
ber of cases of malarial fever and
dengue fever, the latter common in the
Cuban climate. Some clear cases of
yellow fever are reported, but the Off
cials say they are few as com pared with
those of other fevers.
General Skaters dispatch received
by General Corbin is as follows:
Santiago de Cuba, July 26.-Num-
ber of new cases of fever of all classes
yesterday approximately. s96. Deaths
not previously reported, Private Daniel
Stone, company D, First Illinois, ty-
phoid fever, July 20; Sergeant J. Blair,
regimental quartermaster. died July %
of dengue fever; Privates William Pea
:ock and CARAT Learnesheck, both of
company E, Second infantry"
General Shafter reported by cable to-
day that the condition of the troops at
Santiago was rapidly improving, ana
said he hoped in the course of day or
two to have the men located in COM
Portable camps. where they may rest
and recuperate and whore the sick may
recover.
He is feeding II, 200 spaniards. pris-
oners of war, and although he has not
yet been able to furnish them tents.
this deficiency is being male good, and
their condition is no worse in this re-
spect than was their condition before
the surrender.
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1898-07-29
cay FOR HELP.
Cubans at Cienfuegos Are Starving
Weyler System In Force.

Cubans at Cienfuegos Are Starving
Weyler System In Force.
Guantanamo, July 27.-The follow
ing pitiful appeal has been addressed
by the starving people of Cienfuegos to
Rear-Admiral Sampson:
Honorable Sir: The Cubans, old
men, women and children, resident in
the town of Cienfuegos and this neigh
borhood, are all dying OF hunger. The
young men are all in the field with the
Cuban troops and have no shoes nor
food. All the provisions in this town
are in the hands of spaniards. Cubans
cannot obtain piece of bread, as it is
necessary. to send everything to the
field. The Weyler system is in high
sway. The situation is terrible. If
you, honorable sir, do not come quick
ly with your squadron, to our help and
take possession of this town, we shall
be lost. We beg you to precipitate
your operations. About 5000 old men,
women and children shall die of hunger
in this town. Some of these old men
have four or five cons fighting for free
dom. This is our situation-horrible
situation. If the great people of the
United States do not come quickly in
our help we are lost. Foi Gods sake,
come quickly.
"SOME CUBANS."
Nothing can be done for the people
of Cienfuegos until the place is cap
tured. This will not be for some time.
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1898-07-29

Santiago de Cuba, via Kingston,
July 26.-The report published in the
United States that there..are 80 cases Of
yellow fever in the cavalry division
proves on investigation to be unfounded.
Captain House reports that there is no
sickness. The First, Sixth and Ninth
cavalry, the First and Tenth infantry
regiments and six companies of the
Randolph light artillery. are encamped
about two miles northwest OF Ell Caney,
at the base of the mountains. The
camp Is apparently perfectly healthy,
as to the location. and has good wa
ter supply. The ground is well
drained.
Malarial fever Is prevalent, but it al
ways yields to quinine treatment in
the course of four or five days. The
fact that immunes of the regiment
have this fever as freely as the other
men shows that it Is not yellow jack.
There have been no fatalities from ma
larial fever thus far, but SO long as the
men are exposed to the hot sun during
the day, the increasing rain and heavy
dews, malaria will increase and our
men grow worse. A second attack is
much more difficult to eradicate, espe-
cially in the case of men exposed to the
present conditions.
The army is mentally depressed by
inactivity, and the uncertainty as to
its future movements, together with
the increasing malarial fever.
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1898-07-29
SURRENDER OF SPANIARDS.
Interior Garrisons Lay Down Theil
Arms.

Interior Garrisons Lay Down Their
Arms.
Washington, July 26.-The war de-
partment at midnight posted the fol-
lowing:
Santiago, via Hayti, July 26.-Ad-
jutant General of the Army, Washing
ton: Lieutenant Miley has returned
from San Luis and Palmas Soranio,
where he went four days ago to receive
the surrender of the Spanish troops.
The number surrendered was larger
than General Toral reported. Three
thousand and five Spanish troops and
$50 volunteer guerrillas gave up their
arms and gave parole and have gone to
work. Three thousand stands of arms
were turned in to load on ox-carts and
started to the railroad. Spanish troops
accompanied him to San Luis, and all
were apparently greatly delighted at
the prospect of returning home. They
were on the verge of starvation and I
have to send them rations tomorrow.
If the numbers keep up as they have.
there will be about $4,000 to ship
away, nearly $4,000 here; 5000 from
San Luis, $500 from Guantanamo, and
over 1000 at Sagua and Baracoa.
''SHAFTER,
'sMajor- General Commanding"
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1898-07-29
PORTO RICO RICO INVADED INVADED
General Miles Forces
Landed at Ponce.
ON THE SOUTHERN COAST

A Detachment of spanish Troops Of
fered Resistance, and in a Skirmish
Forty spaniards Were Killed and
Not An American X illed or Wounded.
Port II Guanica, Island of Porto
Rico, via st. Thomas Island, July az
The United States military expedition
under command of General Miles,
which left Guantanamo bay Thursday
last, was landed here successfully today
after a skirmish between detachment
of Spanish troops and crew of 80 be-
longing to the launch of the United
States auxiliary gunboat Gloucester.
Forty Spaniards were killed and nc
Americans were hurt. The troops
were pushed forward rapidly in order
to capture the railroad leading to Ponce,
which is only about 0 miles east OF
this place.
Guanica, the point of debarkation
of the expeditionary force, is a small
town On the southern coast of the
island. 1t is less than 20 miles on an
air line distant from Ponce, and 65
miles from San Juan, against which
the assault is to be directed. This
town is situated on bay of the same
name, which forms one of the best
ports in the whole island.
From Ponce there is an excellent
military road running 80 miles north
to San Juan. The whole of General
Brooke's force. with the New Orleans,
Annapolis, Cincinnati, Leyden and
Wasp are expected here within "a