Gulf Coast breeze. [volume] (Crawfordville, Fla.) 1897-19??, 1898-07-22
HUMOROUS.

The mice always play when the cats
away, but the cat finally catches on to
Give the average man O position,
and he will cast his eyes around for
an assistant
She-Do you like Wagners musicP
He-Oh, yes, since l have become
partially deaf.
"Have you been able to live up to
your idealp" "No; but I've lived up
to my income trying to do II"
"Davie, what are microbese"
"Things nobody can't see that they
blame all their sickness onto"
Teacher--Who discovered American
Street Gamin latter deep thought
I disremember his name, but he was
a Dago.
"You, sir" said the poet, "are q
bad Judge Of poetry" 81, sir" re.
torted the editor, Jam q Judge Of bad
poetry"
Miss Passed. assure You I have
lived only eighteen short years. Old
Grumpy-Where were you the rest OF
the time? ,
When O girl suddenly begins lond
ing her wheel 10 her little brother she
is getting ready to ask her father for
new one.
She--You don't see as many women
cyclists wearing bloomers as you used
TO. He-No. I guess they are afraid
OF being enlisted.
She lat partiAs) do You love me
better than your lifep He (fervently)
800 Better than my liiea Why, I love
you better than my bicycle, almost.
Patient--I'm feeling wretched, doc.
tor. take no interest In anything,
have no appetite, can't sleep
Doctor-Why don't you marry the
girl?
School Teacher Nov. Willie Hig.
gins, You may tell me what Commo.
dore Dewey did on the LIST OF May,
1898. Willie-He did the Spaniards,
ma'am.
Artist painted this picture, sir,
to keep the wolf from the door.
Dealer latter inspecting it)-Well,
hang II on the knob where the wolf
can see II.
Papa--Well, did the photographer
succeed In making the baby look pleas
art? Mamma--No; the baby sue.
ceeded In making the photographer
look unpleasant.
Barton--Holden has o good memo
ry. Wharton---Good memory? Bad
you mean. He asked me yesterday
when was going to return the dver
borrowed last year.
His wifs-Do you think the young
man from the city really loves May2
The Suburbanite - Indeed II do
Doesn't he come here every week and
take the chances OF getting malaris,
just TO see her?
professor Doepnob says q widow
receiving marriage proposal always
reminds him OF a COW at 0 railroad
track" I'm what way, prayi" ",5he
acts as II she wouldnt go across, but
she always does"
"Did you say you found large
amount OF fighting equipment on that
newspaper mani" asked the Spanish
officer. "Yes, sir. There were enough
lead pencils aud blank paper to have
enabled US to win half dozen vic.
tories"
Giddy Young Thing Do you know
that as Hamlet you reminded me very
much OF Booth? Eminent Young
Tragelisn --Ah, indeed? Giddy Young
Thing--Yes; your costume was almost :
exact like the one he used to wear
whom he played the part.
1t was Just after war had been de-
clared, and the quiet man saw the
noisy one sneaking away from an ex-
cited crowd. whats the matterq"
asked the quiet man. They're dis
GUESSING the war;" replied tho noisy
one. "Well, you've been yelling for
war for the last two months, haven't
you?" demanded the quiet man.
"Of course I have" returned the
noisy one, ''bnt, hang 1t oil +! these
people are talking about en!isting.'