Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1898-07-07
PRovERBIAL PHILOSOPHY.

PFOVERBlAl PHILOSOPHY.
As Exemplified In the General Custom
at a West Virginia Hotel.
GA burned child breads the fire,
A soused child breads water, Once
burned, twice shy'-these are three
proverbial ways Of saying that one
finger is enough to lose in learning
that buzzsaw may be moving
though it seems to be standing still.
There are more ways than there are
proverbs of exemplifying the inner.
ent truth of these proverbs, and each
way is interesting, if not immediate
ly, yet in the long run-and the
run is not necessarily SO long.
Down at H, w. Va.," said
the man who knew about proverbs,
there is a hotel. This is not strange
to you, but probably you haven I
been in H. I have been there.
By way of depression, let me remark
that in all these small country towns
of Virginia and its coparcener states
it is astonishing how easy it is to
arrive and how hard it is to depart.
At whatever hour you may have ar
rived, you are certain to take the
train after midnight and before
o'clock. This arrangement effectual-
ly spoils the night for sleeping pur-
poses or for amusement; but, then,
there is no amusement.
"To resume, reached H at
some seasonable hour and put up at
the hotel, did what I had to do and,
as had been up most of the proceed
ing night, turned in about 8 O. c]ock,
leaving word at the Office to be call
ed at 1 o'clock, as the train left
shortly before 2 o'clock.
In time was called, so dressed
quickly, paid my bill, seized my bag
and hurried to the depot, about a
block away. Half along the block l
happened to look at the hotel and
saw that every lamp in it was out
and the house was as dark as pitch.
At the station I found police
man, who seemed pleased to see me.
How soon is the train due2'
asked by way of opening a short
conversation.
"''Bout hour and half said
he pleasantly.
WHAT yelled. Then l looked
at my watch. 1t was just 1890.
"The policeman watched with ju-
dicial amusement while made GER
tain remarks about the hotel people.
When ended took my time-he
said:
"'Well, now, things strike people
differently, don't theya Bout a
month ago there was Teller down
to the hotel-had two bags, a irregular
drummer. He left word, same's
you, to be called for the train and
then turned in. But they forgot him
didn't call him till after O.; train
on time that night too.
'We-ell, when they remembered
they was in feeze. First of all, the
clerk smart chap, that clerk; guess
hotel clerks hez to be smart-the
clerk, he set the clocks back; made
'em seem to be about / o'clock
stead of after 2. Then he called
the drummer. The drummer, he
dressed quick, paid his bill, same's
you, grabbed his two grips, one in
each hand, and hurried over here.
was here, just as | am tonight, and
carefully, SOS not to excite him too
much too quick, let him know that
he was an hour behind the train and
that he'd have to wait another IL
hours or SO, just as | let you know,
on y for difference of time.
We-ell, what's that drummer
do but pick up his grips, one in each
hand, walk back to the hotel and,
goin up to the window of the Office,
pitch them two grips right through
the glass, snash The first one hit
the clerk, knocked him down; sec
ond one hit on his head as he lay
there. e'Guess I'm even on the
game" said the drummer.
Since then-'bouta month ago
they We called ev'ry one hour ahead
of the train, and they put the lights
out soon's Teller leaves the hotel
matter of precaution, you know.
''That's why I started with a
proverb. Chicago Inter Ocean.