New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1898-12-11
PARLIAMENTARY OR1TORI.
SOME PERTINENT HINTS GIVEN BY AN
-DOORkEEPER OF TIL HOtGt
OF COMMONS
From The Windsor Magazine.

From The Windsor Magazine
When Simphns0n had b, en d. rctIfcmt III some
six months or strangc rumors began 10 be
whispered about among those members VINO mao
known him best When his name was men
toned men would look at each other search
ngy. If asking. ARE You IN the know III
they would retire mysteriousy L. secluded cor
ncrs, where they raised their eyebrows. whistled
softly, and in word, slgnihed then surprise IL
the usual manner. The fact is. Smpkin
son had begun 10 give private lessons m parlia-
mentary Ordtory To new members and To others
who had never acquired thu art. No lE're can
ddates were received on any pr"t"Nt whatever.
Indeed. his pupils had to produce "vdenc. that
they had signed the roll and taken thcir seats
before they were admitted to the Smr kinsonian
sanctum. When once these pr"mnaries had
been satisfact' riiy settled Mr. SimpkInson well
coined his honorable friends with "A county ur-
banity worthy OF Mr. Speaker himself
From repeated conversations | nave had with
few Of thDse who do not mind owning that
they have sat AT the feet % Sinpkinson. 1t IS
evident thar his course OF instruction followed
fixed and definite lines and varied but little. He
would begin: You will soon lind that il matters
but little What YOU say in the House OF COM
mons while every thing depends ON how you say
it. Acquiring what is known as tho House Of
Commons style is more than half the battle
Give 'em plenty Of hum and haw. to 'er, err
is human. YOU know"-he would invariably
laugh at this ancient ttl" jest. though he had
made il a hundred times He had great success
in this part of his tuition. and Tn" one instruc-
ton which all his pupils faithfully carried out
VAS Ontained in the hint that the House or
Commons va, always impressed when "A speaker
did not appear to know what he was talking
about, and had no notion what to say next.
Having thus grounded the beginner in the first
principles Of House Of Commons oratory- heS.-
tation. little stammerin2. endless rI"titlon,
reasonable amount of self-con'radiction and
any amount ~ hum and han -M Nj Simp-
kinson would proceed to teach "A f." OF the
more necessary formJla How and when TO
remark. II venture to say, or. / have yet 10
learn leading up by many Su!iF ffadatlon
m hat al Ilir \tr
occasions. / even 20 - far as To venture 10
think'-al this was carefully cAplaln'd Al
this sort Of thing" he would say. may seem
trivial to a stranger but il makes al he dif-
ference between success and faiiur" III the
House. For instance, If You were 20 ask point
blank, VIII any man Affirm mat TWO ana TWO
make four? most likely some member would
call out Yes But II you puf II Ike ms VIII
any man come down to this House. and stand up
IN his place and venture to say that two and
Two make four? they'll all SIT mum 1t I'M
presses EN-. | don't know why, but IT does
Again surprising you say something which Is
not quite accurate you know what | mean
and the other side calls out. oh, Oh" all you
have to do is to turn to your men and say very
Indignantly ! am within the rccoll, elton of the
House and if your Side knows its business IT
Will cheer like mad"
Having made sure that these ruduncntary
points had p"en appreciated, Simpkinscn direct
co the attention OF his friends and pupils to the
question Of the hat in Parliament. He had
made this subject a specially. Let ne implore
you" ne would say with real feeling, never 20
encourag. tn, prs,ilent heresy that a member
should sit IN his place uncovered. Wearing the
hat in the House is a great privilege. DO not
the police cry, Hats off. strangcrsl every day
when Mr. Speaker passes through the lobby?
That alone shows that the member may If he
likes a matter Of privilege and right, keep
his on. Disraeli was gifted man, | grant, and
Gladstone is well Informed; but have always
admired Palmerston more than either-he wore
his hat in the House. and the! cid not"