Kansas City journal., 1898-03-13
KANSAS TOPICS.

KANSAS TOPICS.
The Danbur Topics explains to its read
ers that its font Of type hasn't any per-
iods and If they can't guess when they
have reached the end of a sentence they
will have to take the consequences.
An old man by the name of John Alb
ner has started to walk from Saline
county back to Illinois to die. 1t is hard
ly necessary to say that the old man is
childish; no man in his right mind would
leave Saline county and go back to Illi-
nois to die.
Ar honest and humbled farmer near
Cawker City confesses to the Record ed
itor that he has been taken in by trav-
cling quack doctor to the tune of $50, all
he received being three bottles of medicine
that were no good. The crop of suckers
has never failed yet, and probably never
will.
One downtrodden Dickinson county
farmer, according to the Reflector. has
received two checks for wheat SO far this
week-one for 5000 and one for $500.
Byran Woodman, a Jewell county farm
er. raised last season 5000 bushels of corn
and LOO bushels of oats, and did all the
work himself, except the help of a boy
for two weeks.
Suggestion to the department Of war
from the Lawrence Journal: THE gov
ernment ought to appropriate a few hun
dred thousand to equip Fort Riley. The
condition the fort is in now, Spanish
man-of-war would have no trouble at all
in sailing up the Kaw and capturing it."
-
s&ar
Burns has a man who hasn't taken a
ably what causes the buzzards to sail over
town. .s..ar-.
Lawrence Breed probably feels better
Just now" says the Lawrence Gazette.
than the average honest person usually
does. The other day he was driving some
| cattle in Chase county. and chanced to find
a pocketbook containing 500 in the road.
He hunted around Until he found the own
er and gave the money to him. The man
who had lost the money works on the
Blackshere ranch, and his wife was very
sick at the time the money was lost The
500 meant great deal to the owner with
all his other troubles. Lawrence Breed
has the satisfaction Of knowing that he
helped to relieve the man.
Speaking of the futility of advice, the
editor of the Burlington Republican says
that he recently sought to do society a
favor and prevent further reading of the
book by publishing a very severe roast Of
quo Nadis.' The result is. aS he sadly ac-
knowledges. that his copy of the book
hasn't been at home since, and the ap-
plications of others who want to borrow it
are filed in the order in which they are
received.
Thirty-four young men and thirty-four
young women have graduated at the Atchi-
son county high school since its organiza-
ton. Twenty-Five of this number are
teaching school, ten are engaged in pro-
fessional pursuits; eleven are attending
college, and seven have become farmers
Ten of the young ladies' have married
since graduation
Speaking of the tribulations of youth. the
Preston Plaindealer says: A young man.
VINO is Just turning out his first mustache.
OF which he is Justly proud, called on a
young lady acquaintance the other even.
ing, ana shortly after his arrival the cur
few sounded. when the lady remarked:
There goes the curfew; you had better
run home. or Dad Crossfield will SURELY
catch you; come again, earlier, some other
evening"" He pulled.
ANY man." hotly remarks Deacon
klaine. of the Dodge City Republican. a.
he vainly tries to clean the stain of saliva
from the knee of his Sunday pantaIoons
who Will wantonly and deliberately ex-
pectorate tobacco juice in a church Is void
of common decency and should not be al
lowed by law or common consent to asso-
ciate with gentlemen"
A Western Kansas exchange clips this
item from remote Colorado paper pub
lished in town which only gets a mule
back mail once week: "a gentleman who
came over on the stage last night informs
us that when he left the railroad there was
rumor that the state of Maine has been
blown up by dynamite. This was no doubt
the work of the dastardly prohibitionists
who have been aware ever since the death
OF Neal Dow that hard cider was being sold
in the state"
AS a partial explanation Of why the
Kansas banks are full of farmers money.
the Sedgwick Paragraph mentions the
case of A. NJ Elliott, who sold forty head
of yearling steers to Ed Francis for $35 per
head. bringing in the snug sum of 81, 400.
The pretty part of this story is that he
picked up these forty head of calves last
Sedi St al o'ciu6c VI iDOuI - per nea0.
They have not been fed any grain and have
only consumed the roughness which would
otherwise have gone to waste on the farm
Talk about good investments. Mr.. Elliott
picked up clear sl.1so on $500 invested, in
less than years time.
"a smooth. slick, tramp printer struck
this shop last Thursday" remarks Editor
Lee. of the st. Mary's Eagle in a disgust
ed tone of voice." and by putting up pitt
full tale succeeded in worming the price of
meal out of the boss. Twenty minutes
later we met him and his breath was
strongly perfumed with extract of maize.
The next measly. NANCY. fab-sided son of
a cannon that strikes these diggin's for
meal will be promptly pied and thrown in
to the hellbox in double quick time
ut is useless to argue that times are not
prosperous in Kansas says the Sedgwick
Paragraph. Away long last fall Miss
Lille Rieman, while driving to Newton one
day. lost her pocketbook. containing over 50
in money. and the times were so prosperous
that no one picked that pocketbook up till
aI~a