The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1898-09-15
Sf0ryeffes.


perience was raised to a bailie's chair
and was trying his first case. The fls-
cal had just finished his evidence for
the prosecution, when the bailie rose
and said:
"Well, the case is very bad one, and
you shall be fined 15s.''
"Stop, a minute, bailie," said the tis-
cal, "we have not heard the evidence
for the defence yet"
The Bailie-"Oh, well, in that case
the fine will be only Is 6d."-Scottish
Nights.
Bismarck'S money was invested prin-
cipally with the famous banker BIei-
chroeder of Berlin. A story is told
that at the ending of the Franco-Prus-
sian war, when the money indemnity
demanded by Bismarck threatened to
terminate the peace negotiations, Bis
marck teIegraphed Bleichroeder to
come to Versailles" Five millards war
indemnity!' exclaimed Jules Favre
THAT is an outrageous demand Does
Monsieur lie Count know how much
that is? 1t is five thousand millions of
francs, and if man had begun count
ing this sum from the birth of Christ,
and continued counting to the present
day, he would not yet have the task
completed" "That's what 1 thought"
said Bismarck. IL therefore sent for
my friend BleichrOeder He can count
back to Adam, or at any rate to Abra-
ham,"
During sham fight an old general
came unawares upon a soldier who
was lying fast asleep in field among
the corn.
els this your post?" exclaimed the
general, rousing him with the full in
tention Of making an example of him.
The soldier, thus suddenly startled
out of his sumber, rubbed his eyes,
and on recognizing the officer, sprang
to his feet, presented arms, and said:
81 beg your pardon, but we were 60
ing through sham fight, and in order
to make the illusion more complete l
was just pretending to be dead"
The general could not suppress a
smile, and promptly forgave the witty
felloW.-July.
A recent issue of the Hardeman
(Tenn.) Free Press contained the fol-
lowing paragraph: "We was down to
Memphis. n smart Alec at the tavern
put train oil on our greens, and said it
was vinegar. OF course, we were horse
dew combaw for three days, and now
that we are able to talk, our language
is not fit for publication"
A Polish jew was arrested here the
other day, and, when taken to the city
prison, his condition was so unceanly
that he was told by the corporal to
strip and take bath. "Vat, go in de
water" he asked. Eyes, take bath:
you need it. How long is it since you
had bath 2" With his hands aligned
upward, he answered: IL never vas
arrested before" -Argonaut.
An actor who was in Washington
day before yesterday on his way to
join the army of stage folk who are
trooping into New York to begin re.
hearsals, played in Chicago stock
company part of the summer, says a
writer in the Washington Post. 1t
wasn't an especially successful COM
pany, and there were periods when the
ghost did not walk for weeks at a
time. I'm not sure, come to think of
it, that Chicago was really the town af-
ter all, but the point of the matter is
that salaries were not paid. The actor
Ispeak of is what they call on the
stage a handsome dresser. He is es-
pecially addicted to clean linen and
day dawned when he found that all his
shirts were at the laundry, and that he
was poHnlloSS. tie went TO call on the
Chinaman who kept the laundry. In
this instance the Chinaman kept the
shirts, too, for no threats, no entreaties,
no prOfferS of watches and scarf pins
as securities, no argument of any kind
sufficed to move him. He wanted
money. Two whole days the actor en-
dured this state of things. Then salar-
les were paid. The actor marched to
the laundry, laid down the money,
seized the Chinaman by the collar of
his pajamas, jerked him over the coun-
ter, and rubbed the floor down with
him, horizontally, perpendicularly and