The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1898-11-07

disease by means OF an arrangement Of
pslseys which throw the strain according
10 the wearer's pcsition--I omit the rest %
tae:r qualities,
The watches CT my companions. I no
ticed with astonShment. ali wore India
rubber ru3s around their necks Here
curiosity got The better OF discretion. and
asked what purpose that invention served.
such runs prevented theft. Being 80 made
thar 1t IS impossible 10 draw your watch
out Of the pocket unless You know the
blessing. In fact. the idea KEEP. ocrurrins
that life might become terribly uncomfor,-
able under these complex conditions for
people afflicted with short memories, or for
the absent-yusndcd.
Pencils. / find, are no longer put into
pockets or slipped behind the ear. Every
commercial gentleman wears a patent on
IN coil of wire. Eyeglasses are not a.
lowed 10 dangie a!mlessly about as OF old.
but retire with snap into an oval metal
box box. much as roiler-shades work. Scarf
pins have holders screwed on from behind.
and-hut here modesty stops my pen.
Seeing that was. interested in their
makeup, many travelling agents on the
train got out their boxes and showed me
ali the latest articles that could be at
tached 10 the person. One gentleman pro-
dueed collection Of rings made TO go on
an. arrangement. he explained. that was
particularly convenient for people afflicted
with enlarged joints.
Another traveller was pushing" coli
Figaro, combining the functions OF cravat-
holder. stud and searf-pin. Not being sue
S Ssss IN snT me ena 81 ns
which he assured me. no gentleman's
wardrobe was complete It proved 10 be
an insidious Arrangement OF gilt wire,
which he adjusted on his poor. overworked
eollar-button and then tied his cravat
through and around ii. No tie thus
made" he said. would ever slip or get
crooked" He had been so civil that II was
so / invested . cents in the cravat- holder.
rs it seemed the least complicated OF the
been graduated in school Of mocha mics.
I have never been able TO make Il work.
1t takes an hour to tie cravat with Its
aid. and as long to get i united Mesi Of
that difficulty by wearing ready-made ties
which fastened behind with a clasp,
The witty author of America and
patriots have such strained and anxious
look Is because they are all trying to re-
member the number OF their streets and
houses, the floor their office is on, and the
combination OF their safes. l am inclined
to think that the hunted look We al! wear
comes from an awful fear of forgetting
the tricks or our patents and OF being UNI
able TO Undo ourselves in an emergency.
Think for moment of the horror or
coming home tired and sleepy or after a
your hidden machinery had gone wrong;
that by a sudden movement you had dis
turbed the nice balance of some lever
which ii, In revenge refused to release It's
until the. inventor had been called in 10 set
you free!
never doubted that innate bravery was
one of the marked characteristics of our
American temperament, but since these
glimpses into the secret composition OF
my compatriots my admiration has been
that II must reQuire-dressed as they are
TO go out in a thunderstorm makes one
shudder. and certainly could not be found
county hunting or balioonins is nothing
compared to the risk the modern American
takes when he sits. In a trolley. where. the
circuit and killing him must be immense.
constantly md himself OF making toilet
quickly on account OF SO many time-sav.
getting left" in an accident about so per
cent. Who but one OF our people could
contemplate with equanimity the thought
OF attempting such delicate and difficult
combinations while a steamer was sinking
and the lifeboats were being manned? Do
my readers ever visit the American Insti-
them TO make the experiment in order TO
study this side of our national character.
Our grandfathers contributed the wooden
nutmeg to modern civilization. and en-
dowed grateful universe with several 9TH
er money-saving devices. Today the in
ventor takes the American baby from his
cradle and does not even release him at
the grave What treat one OF the ma
chine-made men of today will be TO the
archaeologists OF the year 1900. II they
chance to dig up a well-preserved specimen
with all his patents thick upon him. With
a prophetic eye one can almost see the
kindly old gentleman of that day studying
the paraphernalia found in the tomb and
attempting TO account for the different
pieces. Ink will flow and discussions rage
between tibet camp maintaining that cum
holders We're tutelar deities buried with
the dead by pious relatives and the group
asserting that the little pieces of steel were
a form of pocket money In the year 1898.
Both will misquote Tennyson and Kip
ling in support of their theory.
The question has often been raised What
side of our nineteenth-century civilization
will be most admired by future genera
tons? In view of the facts that have re-
Gently observed, there can remain little
doubt that wher the secrets OF the paper
collar and the trouserstretcher have be-
come lost arts II will undoubtedly be those
benefits that remote ages viii envy us, and
rare specimens of ventilated shoes and re-
verSble tissue paper endorsements Will
form the choicest treasures OF the COL
lector.