Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1898-05-01
AMONG THE WEALTHY
,pLrR,s MEMORABLE EXCURSION
10 OLD POINT COMFORT SUNDAY.
he ATE TO The TUNE OF MUSIC,
And Probably Got the Best OF the
Hotel Manager-How h Mbiiso"-
nires Look and Act-A '~
Around thc Big Fort.

than taxing tHS
school. or trying TO keep the creascs
In your best pair OF pants. 1t was WIN
knoulcSge OF this fact that / started
on, one week ago 10 spend a day at TINS
<auops resort. and to inspect the mum
nents of war, which are now attracting
The great unwashed public to FORTRESS
Monroe. OF course. l knew what l had
20 expect-or. rather, what / needn't eX-
nect-and so / went resigned TO be poreu'
and TO be busily occupied In DONG TO-
thing. Everything came up fuhy 10
M lack Of expectations. and l accom-
plished the feat OF doing nothing Win
the same skill which has always char"c-
te-ized my efforts in that olrectoh'
When you get of the cars at the wharf,
Ike little station you straightway as
sumo a busy air and try to look IKE
q guest OF the splendid five-doiiar-a-uAS
hotel. which entertains some OF the men
est and some of the poorest people III
the land. ~Instinctively you give a very
feeble imitation OF the former class anu
are sorry you can't make II better Ivy
ing TO look like you have money IN your
pockets-an exceptionally dlflcult Ae9t
when YOU lack capital-you stroll toWdius
fhe big hotels. and as you brush up
sgasnst miIionaires and imitauon-million-
aires you feel powerfully good ana almost
regard yourself as. "A conspicuous peDDie
an fhe gravel-bank. Maybe you've Just
got one dollar and thirty cents IN
your pocket-a few bits over the price OF
a dlnner-but you do not get up in the
veranda and proclaim this fact to the
world. To be candid. this is your day
for sporting. and ~ is your purpose 10
lead as many people as possible lhlo me
very egregious blunder OF mistaking you
for a wealthy man. EXcusing THESE de-
ceitful propensities in yourself, you re-
polye 10 saunter INTO the hotel with the
air of one who has spent three-fourths OIL
his life as q guest of the establishments
You wish people 10 think YOU are per-
fectly familiar with the place. Inc hrst
thing you try TO do is TO register at the
cigar stand. which, In the furry OF your
excitement you mistake for the regular
office. And next, you proclaim yourself
a greenhorn by endcavoring TO check
your umbrella at the cashiers desk. BY
the time you have accomplished THESE
two feats you feel positively certain that
everybody on the place knows you have
never so much as stopped at a two-dollar
house before. Yes. |, too, I'D all these
things at Old Point Comfort, and now
that it's all over l believe l had a good
time last Sunday.
For some threescore and ten years or
Whereabouts I've eaten three meals a
day. and sometimes more, when they
were available. but never yet have L
found this occupation tiresome. 1t seems
70 me that nearly everything in this life
grows monotonous with the flight OF
time except appetite, and that. be 1t said,
is the JOY of my declining years. Ana
so, IL was not remarkable that L re-
solved to do some eating at TINS me
hotel. Just as / would ave done had l
staid in Richmond. But my conscience
hurt me when / thought how the pro-
prictor would be worsted by allowing me
10 have one of his lunches for a dollar,
for when / get among strange dishes
am peculiarly energetic, ana a lack OF
familiarity with my surroundings doesn't
affect me in the least.
In the big dining-room l saw all kinds
of fat, sleek-looking people trying to look
like m~illionaires, and everywhere there
was that general air Of contentment
which one notes on faces about TO be
fed. Ar orchestra, as if to stimulate
the hunger of the guests. discoursed
sweet music from a gallery, though the
selections were nearly all mOurnful. This
NdS uUuDNlt1S Qlt ~ A4t A0NN NAA@N 49,
musicians looked down on people who
were eating while they themselves were
unable TO take a hand in the destruction
of food. Another man, who, like my
self. was trying to create the impression
that money was no object TO him. kick
ed against the music. What's the good
of it?' ne Indignantly exclaimed. as he
scooped> a stewed Irish potato out of
the dish with his and Il don't need
music to eat by. Do they expect me
to swallow soup to waltz time. or TO
chew to the tune Of the latest march?
I'll not do it: / propose to chew accord
ing to my own ideas; I'll leave this hotel
and go somewhere else" Deep down In
my heart / knew that man didn't my
more object to eating to the tune of
music than a cow minds chewing her cud
to the hum of a bumble-bee. What he
really did mind was chewing to the
tune of a dollar a meal. / let him think
i didn't know he was lying, and in my
soul | resolved to thoroughly and COM
pletely analyze that bill of fare. But l
need not even hint that ! did my duty,
and that the orchestra, looking wistfully
down from the gallery, disturbed me not
one whit.
After yor eat n colossal meal at a fine
hotel you are supposed to saunter through
the lobby of the establishment with an
Indifferent air and a toothpick. and 1t is
very bad form to look as if you have had
a bully-good time. The aristocracy never
look as If they have just had a good
t~ime-possibly because many of them
never get a square meal. But be that
as II may, / soon acquired the ~nonchalant
agg and as l buried my feet in seve-
raj inches of Brussels carpet. l don't be-
even the colored walters could tell
but what i made it a habit to winter
every year at the Ponce de Leon or
Waldorf-Astoria. II you don't look like
you think something Of yourself. other
people will regard you as an outcast OF
Fulton society. Strolling around In this
way and putting a cheroot, which MADE
Just as much smoke as the finest Ha-
bana. I saw scores OF wealthy northern
women, upon whom the gods had gene
rously bestowed many riches and great
ugliness. 1t seems the two very often
go together. my case apparently being
the only exception. 1t made me envious
on behalf of the Commander-in-Chie and
other lady friends to hear the rustic of
their silk -lined skirts, and TO see the
way these danes whisked their lace-trim-
med petticoats about. When a woman
has fine trimmings, you can bet your life
that she's going TO raise her skirts. even
II it's just TO step over a ray Of sun
shine on a pavement. But lace trimmings
and silk-lined skirts and musk and dla-
monds and poodle dogs have never yet
fooled me into mistaking a homely wo-
man for a pretty one, n as long as nay
blue goggles are even half translucent l
DON'T propose 10 get caught in that way.
OF course I'm not trying 10 put the
blight on northern women. or 10 inti-