The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1898-08-19
TROUBLE ALL THE WAY UP.

bought q "Hobson's Choice" Downtown
Landed in Hospital Uptown.
The nurse adjusted the bandage on
the patients head in one Of the wards
of a big hospital uptown and then she
said:
"Now you may tell me how it hap
pened, if you will promise to be very
quiet"
"Well, you know Monday was q
warm day." he began, so l went into
a store and told the man wanted to
buy straw hat. He picked up one.
put it on my head and he says, That's
the hat you want just that way. I
said | would like to look at others.
He said he had others, but insisted on
my taking the one he had put on my
head / asked him if there was any,
thing the matter with that hat and he
said no, but it was the one he picked
out for me as soon as he saw me come
in. It's Hobson's choice, he said.
'Whose?' ! says. 'Hobson's' he says. I
said | didn't know him. Then he said
everybody was saying it. Said it was
a fad, or something like that, and if
wanted to be strictly In it would
take the hat and if anybody said any
thing to me about it l should say 1t
was Hobson's choice, and the drinks
would be on the other fellow. So /
paid, him s1.50 and went away under
the new hat.
when l was going up the steps at
Park place station l met an acquaint-
ance who says, Where did you get it?'
l wanted to be sure he meant the hat,
and I says, Where did l get what?'
The She'd he says. That threw me
off. I asked him what he meant, and
he pointed to the headpiece and says,
That. You look like calf under
new she'd he says. That's one Of
Hobsons,' I says. Which is?' he
says. The hat is l says. I didn't
know Hobson was in the hat business
he says. Which one of them?' l says.
Then he laughed and poked me and
says, Which one are you talking
about?' Honest l says, it's Hob
sons If it's Hobson's, he says, you'd
better take it back to him and tell
him to give you your old one You
don't seem to know about it, 1 says,
and then told him about how every
body was talking about Hobson. He
looked at me and says, You'd better
take something for it,
and then l sa..-s, All right, come
;r+o bo Win
and we stood there quite a while and
when we went out l found it had cost
me about dollar and he hadn't paid
anything.
$50 left him and came on uptown,
thinking all the way up. Two men
were on the seat in front of me.
couldn't hear all they said, but one of
them remarked as his station was call
ed that he s'posed it was Hobson's
choice.
Then I looked at my hat to see il
1t was all right 1t seemed as if it was
too small, but I put it back and went
on to Forty-second street, where got
off and went into lunch place, where
met another acquaintance. Pretty
soon he says, That was brave thing
for Hobson to do I said yes. You
heard about it?' he says. Yes |
says, and it has cost me $3.50, and
you will please sell your gold bricks
to somebody else,' says. Don't take
me for a fool all the time l says.
You must be crazy he says. I got
no gold BRICK he says. I'm talking
about the brave man who sunk his
ship in the harbor.' What's his
name" says. 'Hobson.' he says.
Then l got up and took my hat from
the peg and showed it to him and
says, DO you see the hat?' He said
Yes Well, l says, that's Hobsons.,
He looked at it and says, Why don't
you wear your own hat? What are
you doing he says, wearing Hob
sons hat? And then l hit him. And
when came to l was here"