davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Richmond climax. (Richmond, Ky.) 1897-1914, 1898-12-21
FALseHoO0S AND FolBBs.

icy CORR DE- sEH."l
There's something in the air now,
Just what it's hard to tell.
That seems TO warm person up,
And make the bosom swell
A sort of friendly feeling,
kindly, genial GLOW
WHAT'S that? The Christmas spirit?
By iinks! it must be so!
For it comes in with December
When the shirs are bleak and gray,
And it seems to grow and prosper
With the passing of each day.
It's the Christmas spirit, surely,
And it's full of lightsome cheer
Then here's hurrah for Christmas
The best time Of the year.
@@
Little Nephew-''Uncle Simeon.
what is profanity?'
Old Uncle-.'It is-er-er-wbat YOU
hear when man sits down on chair
which isn't there. .
First Proud Parents-I am daddy,
and it is peach.
Second Proud Parent am a daddy.
too, but it is a pair,-New York Trib
une.
Young Chip: ''What are the arms
of the law for, rapa?'
Old Block: There seems TO be a
well-defned impression that they're for
hugging serving-maids"
-
That's quite draft from the west
this morning" remarked a Richmond
banker to the cashier the other morn
ing as they glanced over the mail.
The new porter promptly closed the
traasom and again stood at attention.
-
Mrs. Gabb hostess): "Your little
son does not appear to have much ap-
petite"
Fond Mother: No; he is quite deli
cafe"
Mrs. Gabb: Cant You think Of
you would like, my little
MANI"
Little Man: Nom. You see, MON
made me eat whole lot before we
so l wouldn't make a pig Of
myself"
The Richmond climax. (Richmond, Ky.) 1897-1914, 1898-12-21
HER SUMMERS SCHOOLING.

The soldier boy who left his girl behind,
Returning lfome now feels him full of woe;
For she can kiss much nicer, he will find,
Than when she kissed goodby some months
ago.
The Richmond climax. (Richmond, Ky.) 1897-1914, 1898-12-21
PROBES SIOHAL CARDS.

What stops Neuralgia DR.. Miles Pain Pills.
The Richmond climax. (Richmond, Ky.) 1897-1914, 1898-12-21

A story is being told of a deacon in
mountain churcl in whose pew
drunken man had seated himself. The
minis er Was discoursing about the popu-.
lar ices, when he exclaimed, ''Where
is the drunkard?'' The drunken man
was just far enough gone to think the
call personal. and he arose and replied,
there SAM" and remained standing
while the drunkard's fate and cbarac-
ter were eloquentIy portrayed. A few
few minutes after the minister reached
another head Of his discourse, and asked,
~where is the hypocrite?7 Gently turn
ing 10 his peigibor, the drunken man
said, '.stand up, deacon, and take your
medicine like | did +"
A little boy living in the White Hall
locality, who has shot gun, desires to
The Richmond climax. (Richmond, Ky.) 1897-1914, 1898-12-21

While browsing around down at
Paint Lick the other day, | observed
tackled upon the door of Moore & Co.'S.
store quite unique little notice which,
by getting the assistance OF lew by
ISLANDERS, | managed to read. and made
an exact copy, aE given below:
To the person who will interpret this
notice in q sensible maner and send us
a copy OF The same, we will give years
subscription to the CLIMAX, provided
the copy is accompanied with Sl.25 to
pay postage. The notice:
Il have lost my hayer monts goe
that has ReedroDn collier Split in hood
aers and thee tall is almost witt will
seed out 3 90 doilers reward Hov bring
it to NEE.
sir. Gattfried Splitter, Koiger Postof-
fee, Lincoln Co., Ky.
The Richmond climax. (Richmond, Ky.) 1897-1914, 1898-12-21

\ Main street father says he has dis
covered way to quiet the baby when
he is crying. 1t is to make more noise
than he does, and discourage him.
The Richmond climax. (Richmond, Ky.) 1897-1914, 1898-12-21

"What is your opinion" man was
heard to ask the other day, of people
who go around carrying tales?n
The answer is, they make monkeys
of themselves
The Richmond climax. (Richmond, Ky.) 1897-1914, 1898-12-21

One Of the best authorities on foot
bail in Madison says the Danville boys
certainly play reliable game. You
can rely on their getting beaten twelve
times out Of dozen when they play
against {. L.
The Richmond climax. (Richmond, Ky.) 1897-1914, 1898-12-21

Young Chip: "What are the arms
Of the law for, rapa?"
Old Block: There seems TO be a
well-defined impression that they're for
hugging serving-maids."
The Richmond climax. (Richmond, Ky.) 1897-1914, 1898-12-21

A little boy living in the White Hall
locality. who has shot gun, desires to
The Richmond climax. (Richmond, Ky.) 1897-1914, 1898-12-21

Poor is that boy and scant of grace,
Who won't say THANK you" ''if you please;"
Or let a blush come 'er his face
For an honest patch upon his knees.
The Richmond climax. (Richmond, Ky.) 1897-1914, 1898-12-21

Immediately after applying it yen
feel its soothing, warming, strength
eniEg power.
Il quiets congestion; draws ous
inflammation.
The Richmond climax. (Richmond, Ky.) 1897-1914, 1898-12-21
The Ills of Children.

to guard against colds.
Nearly all the ills Of
children begin with
taking cold. II your
The Richmond climax. (Richmond, Ky.) 1897-1914, 1898-12-21

First Proud Parents-I am daddy,
and it is peach.
Second Proud Parent am adaddv.
too, but it is a pair,-New York Trib
une.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1898-01-27

THE Kansas City Times Is one OF the
brightest: and best papers published
Its news service Is up-to-dnte. and all
its appoin tments are such as go to
make up frst-class daily. The sdi-
torial page, conducted with great abil-
ity, is invaluable to men Interested in
the political and social welfare of the
country. Being the only metropolitan
daily 10 the State that stands pat and
straight on the Chicago platform. its
tstterances fn each issue give strength
sad courage 10 men who abide by the
faith Of the fathers. We understand
tie circulation Of the Times is phe-
EoneBslly large and ever increasing;
Sas caersis botbibg strange In that.
Merit slwSYs commands success, even
IL tie fees Of gold standard prosperity.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1898-01-27

II is a wonder. says the Kansas City
Times, that the gold standard logicians
have not long ago brought forward
this convincing argument-it is quite
as sound as many demonstrations they
are spending all kinds of money to
bring before the public: No dollar is
better than a silver dollar; gold dol
lar is better than no dollar; therefore
a gold dollar is better than silver
dollar.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1898-01-27

THE cotton manufacturers OF New
England demanded protection in order
to enable them to pay their mill hands
better wages than the pauper labor of
Europe receives. They got what they
asked for. They demanded that the
gold standard be retained in order that
silver imitation should not indirectly
reduce the wages of their people. This
also was granted. With tears in their
eyes they implored their workingmen
not to assist in destroying the honor OF
the nation and in taking the bread out
of the mouths of themselves and their
children by voting for silver; and now
the New England mill hand wonders
what last election was all about, any
way!
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1898-01-27

EVERY able-bOdied male citizen OF
most European countries receives a
military education and is practically a
par. of the army. Should the popula-
tions of these countries ever become
dissatisfied with their condition up to
the point of rebellion, the army would
be found ineffective because all the
male population capable of bearing
arms are in the army, and revolt of
the people would be a revolt of the
army. Blood is thicker than water,
and men do not cheerfully shoot their
own kin. as has recently been demon
strated in Austria.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1898-01-27


THE Republican, Headlight of Salem
has kindly undertaken to enlighteu US
upon the subject of national banks.
We cordially acknowledge its efforts
in our behalf and will cheerfully sec
ond any further effort it may make for
our instruction. We would like TO
know all there is to be known about
the financial question, and now that
we have run up against the Headlight
we feel that we have stumbled upon
Solomon's Land of Ophir, so far as
financial wisdom is concerned. We
ask in our most deferential manner If 1t
is not fact that when A goes into the
national banking business and deposits
a hundred thousand dollars in govern
ment bonds to secure his circulation,
that he draws interest on the bonds so
deposited and at the same time draws
interest on the ninety thousand dollars
10 national bank notes which the gov
uulCuI AdS tut uSO OhSl W I'LL II
Mr.. Jones should borrow a hundred
dollars of Mr.. Brown, giving his note
therefor with liberal rate of interest,
and then if Mr.. Brown should take
Jones' note back to him and say to
him, Here, Jones, hold this note, pay
me interest in full, and let me have
ninety dollars to do business upon -
would that not be exactly the transac-
ton between the national bank and
the government, except that the bank
er pays for printing the notes? Real
ly, after all, is not this bit like eat
ing your cake and having it at the
same time? And if. as the Gage
scheme suggests, the circulation of the
banks should be increased to the full
amount of the bonds deposited, would
it not be grain more so? Do we I'M
derstand the Headlight to say it favors
this system? Whether Mr.. Gage in
tended to permit the banker or the
government to profit by destroyed notes,
was not the point under discussion, as
the Headlight well knows. The gall
of the Republican policy in returning
money to the capitalist which he had
loaned to it. willie the government
continues to pay interest on the money
returned to him, was the matter we
called attention to. and is exactly the
point which the Headlight refuses to
meet, as we expected it would. We
would like TO have pointed out to US
the particular piece Of anarchism or
greenbackism we belched forth in our
structures on our contemporary. If he
would so favor us we might perhaps
know anarchism the next time we met
it. We are inclined to think that the
editor of the Headlight is taking the
fullest advantage of the fact that there
is no legislation in this State against a
mans talking through his sombrero
on occasion.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1898-01-27

THE Democratic State Central Com
mittee met at the Planters Hotel. St.
Louis, last Monday. Springfield was
given the State Convention, and We'd
nesday, August 10th, named as the
date. Springfield had, practically, no
competitors. Kansas City and St.
Louis were put forward in half-heart-
ed way. the committeeman from the
latter city being about equally divided
between home and the winning place.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1898-01-27

THE House of Lords of England, by
q recent decision, has placed the agent
of the trades union upon precisely the
same ground as the agent of the man
ufacturers association. The American
House of Lords will never be guilty of
similar conduct, not unless the Money
Barons sell it back to the common peo-
pie of this country.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1898-01-27

CONGRESSMAN BAILEY of Texas liter
ally skinned Big Tom Reed in Congress
last Saturday. In the consideration
of the Cuban resolution a question of
veracity arose between Mr.. Bailey aud
the Speaker, and the former clearly
proved by the record that the Speaker
had not kept his word.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1898-01-27

Iron seems to be about the only
county in the State that hasn't one or
more candidates for the Democratic
nomination for Railroad and Ware
house Commissioner.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1898-01-27

IT is our humble opinion that it
would be better to have as chairman
OF the State Central Committee a man
who has more faith in Democracy and
less in fusion.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1898-01-27

WHEN the farmer and mechanic read
IN the tory press about the great food
of prosperity that they claim is over
whelming the country, let each one
pause and ask himself how much bet
ter his condition is now than 1t was
last year, and, if there has been any
change, what has caused it?
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1898-01-27

Maybe the 5000 striking mill hands
in New Bedford have only taken a
few days of to search for traces of the
Wave OF Prosperity in their locality.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1898-01-27

SECRETARY GAGE is having a tough
time of it squaring his gold standard
plan with the bimetallic promise Of
the St. Louis platform.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1898-01-27

IT is amusing to see papers denouuc-
ing Mark Hanna while advocating the
policy that makes Mark Hanna posi-
BILE.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1898-01-27

FUsION may be good medicine in
desperate cases, but a. steady diet it
debilitates the patient and may bring
him to an untimely grave.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1898-01-27

For RENT-Rooms in Academy of
Music building. Apply to E. D. AXE,
Secretary.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1898-01-27

Laces and embroideries cheap, at
the Racket Store.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1898-01-27

leIt them any room for complaint.
THE Net0 York journal has abandon
ed the Chicago platform and its advo-
cacy of VIM. j. Bryan. 1t now stands
for a nebulous free coinage that will
never coin another silver dollar. This
change of front on the part of the
Journal foreshadows the position of
Tammany. Free coinage under the
management of Mr. Croker is TO be
juggled precisely as tariff reform was
juggled under Mr. Cleveland. The
ratio of 16 to 1 was inserted in the
Chicago platform because that ratio
pledged return to the silver unit that
prevailed prior 10 1873. aud for the
further reason that the ratio of sixteen
ounces of silver to one ounce Of gold is
very near the ratio of production. 1t
was seen by the committee on resolu-
tions who framed that document that
the whole free coinage fight would be
futile if the ratio was to be left for flu
ture legislation to determine. 1t would
become lost in fog of contending ra-
tics. aud the fight over the ratio would
prevent anything being accomplished.
II there is any material alteration in
the Chicago platform. and above all if
the plank in regard TO ratio is omitted,
the party will not be left enough votes
in the West to elect a constable. Mr..
Cookers present programme would
destroy the party if he and his bench
men should get control of the next
National Convention, but Mr.. Gro
ker's influence in the next National Con-
ventiOn, when his game comes TO be
understood. will be no greater than
Mr. Cleveland's at Chicago. Tam
many, if it should take the course that
its leaders promise to take. will find
itself without influence in the National
councils. The rank and file would
rather face certain defeat than aban-
don a fight which to them has become
fight for civil liberty against the
combined forces of the plutocracy on
both continents. The course of the
Journal was an anticipated conclusion
when it was ascertaiued what Tam
many would do. The day of straddles
and subterfuges is over, at least so far
as the currency question is concerned.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1898-01-27

Dr. j. T. COoMBs. appointed super
intendent of the insane asylum at Full
ton year ago. has long since demon
strated his especial fitness for the re-
sponsible and trying position. From
sources, the correctness of which can
not be questioned. the REGISTER has
assurance the Fulton institution hasn't
for years been IN as wholesome con-
dition, and under as good management
and discipline IN every way, as it is at
present This is the unanimous opin-
ion of all who have had occasion to
visit the asylum since Dr.. Coombs has
been in control. and it will be observed
that the doctors who made so much
noise when Coombs was placed in
charge have long since ceased their
bowling. Coombs' efficiency hasn't
left them any room for complaint
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1898-01-27

LET'S have more Democracy and less
fusion ''for what there's in it,
The herald., 1898-10-20
LABoR-sAv1Na MACHINES
Increase Demand for Labor and Give
Higher Pay

WASHINGTON, Oct. l9.-The results os
10 thorough investigation ordered by Con.
gress and just completed, showing the effects
|of machinery on labor, and incidental ques-
tions, constitute the thirtieth annual report
iof the Commissioner of Labor. The stats.
tics of cost reported involve only the actual
labor expense. The report goes into de-
tails and among other things says:
There would be no quarrel with the COD
lclusion that machinery has lowered the cost
|of products, and when it is known that under
the machine method there is an increased
demand for labor, as q rule, the bearing on
the supply of labor becomes problematio.
Sometimes there is a lack; often there is .
surplus of labor The statistics method, -
in the effect upon wages, becomes indy
|cative of the truth and to those who believe
machinery has in general lowered cost, con:
clusively the statistics presented make out
that there has been large increase in the
number of persons required for the producp
ton of the articles conditioned in order tu
meet present demands, than were necessary
to meet the demands under the system OF
hand labor. One interesting result is tQ
Of production is going out OF use. It
has been impossible to summarize
displacement and expansion Of labor in tho
various directions. The statistics presented
however, consider each operation and pro
cess Of labor separately. In agriculture, the
figures show, among other things, that, under
the primitive method, the time required for
plowing one acre Of ground varied from five
to eight hours, and under the modern from
where two horses were used, and from three
hours and four minutes to six hours and
forty minutes with three horses:
Fertilizing ground required twenty-five
hours under the earlier wagon and shovel
method and but one hour by the modera
drill. In digging trees, the machine in gem
eral reduced the time to between one-sevenfn
small grain harvesting the self-binder ha:
reduced the time for cutting, binding and
shocking to about one-eighth 9f that under asr
the primative system. In threshlng the
favor @ Of the machine. In corn planting the
old method took nearly six times as long
as the new comparisons show that the manu-
fncture of 1000 one-pound loaves Of bread,
is reduced in cost from $3.50 to $l.l5, and il
time from % to hours.
The herald., 1898-10-20

lodge Of Rebekahs rendered several mem.
bers of Company NJ, who are members of the
orders named, a splendid reception at Odd
Fellows hall, Riverside, Tuesday evening.
There were two hundred persons present.
The program consisted of speeches, music,
The Maccabees, who also had several men
in the company, will give them receptioo
and banquet in few days.
Now that the boys of Company M. have
got settled down, they are beginning to do
some talking about camp life at Camp Mer.
ritt. Without exception all the enlisted
teer service again. They have had enough
of the treatment they received at the hands
Of incompetent officers and say that when
their country needs them again to bear
arms they will enlist in the regular service,
for, as one of them says, .the regulars had
than we got altogether"
Fourteen members of Company X from
Rialto were in San Bernardino Tuesday
night. The whole town and surrounding
sagebrush turned out to banquet and gem
eral good time over their return. Captain
0. p. Sloat, Lieutenant w. G. Seccombe
distinguished guests Of the occasion and the
heroes of the hour. The Cotton band sup.
piled the music and the tables were set Z
second time and furnished Accommodation
for the entire assemblage.
Company X of San Bernardino has -.
cured the pavilion and next Monday nighA
will invite their thousands of friends to- wit.
ness their drill, in which the boys are said
to excel all competitors. 1t till be anothef
gala night. The citizens w!shed to pay ad.
mission. but the boys positively refused to
take a dollar from those who have done 50
much for them. There will be two boxes
placed near the door and those who wish 30
contribute toward placing monuments oveo
the graves of Sergeant Rollins and Private
Dubbs at the Preside cemetery can do 20.
The herald., 1898-10-20
NEWS OF the RAIL- WAYS
SANTA FE SHOPS AT SAN B1R-
NARDINo ON FULL TIM
Changes in the General ONCE Clerk
ships-Another Muir-Notes
and Personals

The Santa Fe company issued orders to
the foremen Of the shops at San Bernardino
not to start up this week on full time and
with full list of men. Some time ago the
order was issued cutting the time in the
shops from nine hours to eight hours and
laying all of the men off on Saturdays. This
has had to be changed, however, on account
of the extraordinary press of work resulting
from the phenomenal business being done
by the road. This means an increase of 30
per cent at least in the pay roll at San Ber-
nardino, and means, further, that the COM
pany is making more money than it has in
any time in the past.
Another Muir
On the principle that the world cannot
have too much of a good thing, all of the
railway people and all who know the su-
perintendent of the Southern Pacific-T.
A. Mur-will feel happy with him at the
arrival of son and heir in his household
on Tuesday afternoon. The more Nfuirs
Eere are the better, if they only partake
of the qualities of Muir pater. The boy is
doing well, Mrs. Muir is in a satisfactory
condition and as for Muir himself, there is
no happier railroad king in the country.
Clerkship Changes
The promotion of Chief Clerk Parke of
General Freight Agent Chambers Office to
the authorship of the Gulf branch of the
Santa Fe system has caused the promotion
b the vacancy of ]. T. F. Baeyertz, who
has been chief clerk in the office of General
Agent Barnwell, the vacancy thus caused
in Mr.. Barnwell's office will be filled by
Fred Gregson of the general freight agent =
room. Mr. Gregson has filled every posi-
ton from office boy up and is of the material
that general managers are made of.
B. & O.'s Freight House
A telegram from the east says that the
Baltimore and Ohio railway will spend
slOO, 900 on a new freight house at Balti-
more. The receivers of the Baltimore and
Ohio have adopted plans and they are about
ready to let the contract. The new build