Arizona republican., 1898-05-02
DON'T TRY Try

fourths high, magnifying on screen 300 times at the rate of twenty-eight pictures to the second
 T didn't pay much attention to all this, and had taken my seat just as the house was darkened and I heard voice announcing, Horse show at Buffalo, I looked up and saw reg ular horses and men all moving just as naturally as you would see them at a regular horse show. Some looking glass business about this,' said I to my friend. Then the voice sang out Military parade on Market street., and along came the band followed by the militia. No looking g-glass about that. They were sure enough men and marching straight down to the edge of that stage. That fool com mander will never cali, Right wheel in time to prevent these first fel lows from walking off into the or chestra,' thought I, and by jings l was on the point of giving the order myself, when the soldiers smiled and wheeled just in time to save their necks, and I was perspiring freely.
 "I realized than how near I had come to creating a scene, and I took a grip on myself. The voice again called out, Santa Fe limited passing Ash Fork I saw the track right down the center, saw the smoke and dust coming, and then the engine just a-flying with the long train of the finest cars in the world right down the stage and coming right into us. | There was no escape from it and l
 knew it. With one bound I cleared | four chairs before my friend grabbed
 me and said something mean. I | looked around, and I'll be blowed if
 half that audience wasn't scrambling g l over the other half But the man
 ager called lights and then if you ever saw a shame-facad lot, they were there, I among them.
 fThen I wanted to go out but my 1 friend wouldn't let me. The pictures
 kept going on from one thing to an other, fellows playing cards, congre-
 gations coming cut of churches, Dur
 rant, officers, reporters, etc., arriving g at San Quentin, New York harbor with every boat in the river moving,
 Spanish bull fight, fire scene, chicken l fight and a circus parade, and I kept dead still, my friend keeping his hand
 on my arm all the time
 l Fight between Corbett and Fitz-
 simmons shouted the manager.
 There was the ring, the seconds, the
 referee, everything complete, all nov
 ing life-size and life-like. Presently the fighters stepped in and soon were
 boxing in elegant style. At each
 round I felt myself getting more and
 more warm-you know how it is? Well, at last there was a round of hot
 work, both fellows giving it to each other hammer and tongs, the seconds
 and referee rushing about like gad- l flies, and first my sympathies were with one and then with the other I didn't seem to care which one whipped, forgot who they were and suddenly discovered myself standing up on a chair yelling like a loon Give it to him, Jim,' and Slug him good, Fitz! and my friend was stand ing on a chair alongside me yelling just as I was, while right around us saw a hundred men and some women all shouting and gesticulating like a lot of mesmerized idiots.
 ''I got right down and sneaked out before the lights were turned on, went directly home to bed, my mental nerves all unstrung and my self hu- initiation complete I simply want to say to you if you banker for some thing real, and can hang on to your self so that you won't make a gol- alarmed fool of an otherwise reason able being, why, go and see this ami matoscope. But I don't think I am built right to ever tempt it again.