New-York tribune., 1898-09-18
- -(Cleveland Leader.

when was a young man" says well-known
civu engineer Il was surveying the route or pro-
posed railway An old farmer with whom l
stopped for a time admitted one day when he saw
M figuring IN the field that mathematics always
seonoed a wonderful thing to him. Being young
and enthusiastic | began to enlarge its wonders
telling him how we could measure the distances TO
different planets and even weigh them; how we
could foreell accurately the coming OF a comet or
An eclipse years in advance OF its actual occur
renee determine the velocity OF the hercest pro-
iectile ascertain the height OF mountains without
scaling them and many other things which /
meant should astonish him.
..You can imagine how he set me back when he
replled TO this brilliant array of facts by saying;
Yes yes them things does seem kinder GURUS.
but what allus bothered me was to understan why
Won have ter carry one fur ev'hy ten. But II you
don't tho burned thing won't come out right
Uicks-I am opposed TO the whole business or tip
ping. 1t amounts to nothing less than bribery. ana
il is a degradation TO the man VINO oters up anu
10 the man who accepts IT, on principle, never
give anything to n walter 49,.
Wlcks-Well. suppose you are right enough; ', nut
everybody hasn't your strength OF mind. you know
Iy the way. that's fine cigar you're smoking.
Where did you get It?
Hicks-Oh this is one that Stillson gave me.
when I buy bottle Of liquor there he always
hands me a cgar.-(Boston Transcript
A city boy visiting In the country recently was
chasing a bumble-bee. When "A farmer told him TO
10 alone II
7 got TO Kit him. See them yeller strpes?" In an
other moment the bee was a captive and had buried
its sting in the boys hand with a howl OF pain he
released his prisoner and shouted: You bet he wuz
spanIard lie jes' sticked his stileter inter me-
..r don't quite understand.' said the Civil Service
examiner why you marked one answer TO be
continued you mean the one In which was
required to give the boundaries Of the United
states" said the young woman. Yes. wv ell 1
.I,o Dbilfnnua question
ington Star.
A friend Of Miss Clara Barton housekeeping In
Santiago says: THE first time visited the mar
ket n woman pursued me from stall to stall. chat
tering Spanish like a magple. She only wanted TO
buy the clothes right off my back by beginning
with my necltte and ending with my shoes' This
female pawnbroking business seems to he favor
tie method Of raising the wind In Santiago Every
day we are visited by mysterious women. some OF
them evidently belonging to the better class. who
wish to buy sell exchange all manner OF truck.
from broken nosed teakettle to jewelled sword.
Yesterday young Jamaica negress brought a rose
colored silk shawl. magnhcenty embroidered:
price not stated. Another female brought an
Client mandolin. made OF tortoise-shell that she
said was dirt cheap at $50. Maybe, but we are
not investing In musical instruments just now. A
third had an old washtub one hoop gone. which she
offered for Sand | bought 1t. A tub needed
badly; new costs In the shops of Santiago
from 80 upward. and the extra dollar may go into
to-morrow's soup.
A Young bachelor who was beset by a sewing ma =
chine agent told the latter that his sewing machine
would not answer the purpose. why" said the
agent. with volube praise II Is the best on the
market In every respect That may be-, replied
am looking for must have naxcn hair and blue
syes."-(Tit-BtA