Evening star., 1898-10-13
THE INDIAN WAR.
Mr.. DOOley's Views on a Subject of
Great Importance.

| From the Chicago Journal.
'Gin'ral Sherman was wan iv tn smart
est men We iver had,' said Mr.. Dooey
| He said so NANNY bright things. Twas
! him said: War is hell an that's wan
| iv tn finest sayins / know anything
about. War is hell It's thrue wurrud
an fine sintiment An Ginral Sherman
says: Th' only good lndyun is dead In
dyun.' An that's good sayin, too. So,
| be tn powers, we've started in again to
! improve tn race, an IL we can get in
Gatlin' guns enough befure tn winters
SHOWS We'll TURN thin Chippeways into a
cimitry branch iv tn Young Mems Chris
tyan Association We will so.
"Ye, see, Hinnissy. tn Indyun is bound
fr to give way to tn onward march iv
white civilization. You an me, Hinnissy,
is tn white civilization. 1 come along an
L find oil Snake-in-His-Gaiters livin quiet
an dacint IN a new frame house. Thinks
1: ''Tis a shame FIR to lave this savage
man in possession iv this fine abode. an
him not able FIR to vote an without frind
on tn police foorce.' So says /: Snakes
l says, get along, says /. 1 want yer
house an we best move out west iv tn
thrackS an dig hole fr ye erself, / says.
Divvle tn fut will l step out iv this house.
says Snakes. I built it an have tn law
| on me side, he says. 'F'r why should
take Mary Ann, an Terence an Honoria,
an Robert Immitt Snakes an all me little
Snakes an rustic out west Nv tn thracks'
he says, far frim TIL bones iv me ances-
tors he says, an beyond tn wather-pipe
extinsion.' be says. Because says /, L
am tn walkin dilygate iv white civiliza-
tion,' 1 says. I'm jist as civilized as you,'
says Snakes I wear pants he says, an
pug hat he says. 'Ye might wear tin
pairs says /, AN all at wanst.' l says, AN
ye'd still be savage says 1, an I'd be
civilized 1 says, if / hadn't on much
as bangle bracelet l says. SO get OUT
says /, f'r tn pianny movers is outside
r-ready to go to wurruk,' 1 says.
We'll, Snakes he fires shtove lid at me
an l go down to tn polls station an says
1: Loot 1 says, 'they'se a drunken In
dyun not votin' up near tn mills an he's
carryin' on outrageous an he won't let me
hang me pitchers on his WALL says 1.
Vile savage says tn loot, 'Tn tache him
to rayspict tn rules iv oiviliZaticn,' he says.
An he takes out a wagon load an goes
afther Snakes. Well. me frind Snakes
givesshim battle. an KNOWN tn premises
well he's able to put up gr-reat fight, but
afther awhile they rip him away an have
him in tn pathrol wagon with a man set
tin on his head. An thin he's put undher
bonds to keep the peace, an they sind him
out west iv tn thracks an move into tn
house an tear out tn front an start faro
bank. Some day whin 1 get tired or tn
Swedes dhrive me cut or Schwartzmeister
makes his lunch too sthrong fr compeu-
ton, I'll go afther Snakes again.
"Th' on'y hope fr tn Indyun is to put
his house on rollers an keep a team hitch
ed to it, an whin he sees white man, to
| start FIR tn settin' sun. He's rooned whin
he has cellar. He ought to put all tn
plugged dollars that he gets from tn agent
an be pickin' blueberries into rowlin' stock.
If he knew anything about balloons he'd
have chanst, but we white men, Hinnis-
sy, has all tn balloons. But, anyhow, he's