Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1898-09-25


we could have de job done right.
Folks talk bout a sojer bein' sech
fine thing-pradin' round Wild brass but
tons an blue clos kissin' de pretty girlS
dancin' all night an fightin' all day. but
ef couldn't have more nun at one
sprize party down at ole Dick Turner's,
aa' fin mo- scrappin' in one good coon
hunt than ] would fin round here In de
raisln OF six craps OF beans. DIS amt
mo talIxin'. De gals here dote too much
on dose leetle patches which dose over
seers and bosses wear on dere shoulders.
Dey seems TO have lost dere love fer
reg'lar brass buttons.
THE JOB WENT BEGGING.
"When I started ter come inter dis thing,
thought / would have a tussle~gettin DE
job, as big passle er fellers gen raliy
tackle fer any Job lynn round loose, but
when l went down ter de war station,
you can imagine my s'prise when found
nobody dar but de mustard man. an ne
treated me jis like ] was a white man;
asst me ter have seat gimme smoke,
an was as pleasant as my Sunday-schooi
teacher | hab nebber met NOBODY III
dis army so greeable since. Den l thought
l wuz lis goin' ter hebben on now ny
beds Of ease, an goin' ter FEED on MIX
an honey. an ] couldn' sign de papers
quick 'nougb. IF | sees him agln dar
goin' ter be wah in 'Merica sho' 'nough
IL didn't speck ter be penned up IKE
so many game cocks waitin' ter be turn
ed loose in de pit. We hab ter hang
'roun' here in dis yard all time dolh
nothin'. when we might be out ploughln
or hoein' or flshin', ter help pay de DAM
age fer de war. Blieve eff de kyrnel
talrn &c
way up de ribber an kill 'nough SPUR
rels an gators fer Il weeks rations.
'Twould be a dog-gone sight better dan
beans an sow-belly
"Dey say dat we got ter go ter Cuby
soon as de yaller-fever is-gone. De gov
ment must speck de yaller-fever ter hole
'em till we come, an den / guess dey'n
fin US wusser dan de feber an Spanyons
tergedder.
CUBY SHALL BE FREE.
'De United States say dat 'Cuoy shall
be free an ] can't see arter she has
dribben all de Spanyons out why we got
ter 90 ODER dere an hop her down. Et
Cuby can't hoP her own reins. What we
wanter sot her free for? an eff somebody S
got ter hoP her in dere lap, an spank
her now an den why not let her nat raj
NANNY 90 II, stead'n our meddlin via
our neighbours family?
'Dey tell me dat ds.War costs bout n
million dollars a day. ~ goggerp1y says
dat SPANS a pore country, an l bleve
eff we had tried ter drive a bargain wid
her befo' de war we could ha' bought all
de islands she has got fer what dis war
has stood US. an den Uncle Sammie
wouldn' have ter pay all desc pensions,
an Spain wouldn' have any hard feelin's
'gainst us"
A TOUGH JOB.
well. the Car Of Russia is healing
movement now to bring the great Powers
into an alliance to settle ali disputes
peaceably and prevent war in the future'
/ here put in.
'Dey'n find it a tough job. Fightln'
comes too nat'ral. OATS one OF de fust
things a boy does soon as his nanny
let's him down outen her lap. IT'S de
main thing he larns at skule, wedder r.
takes in any geography or 'rithmetic or
not. an even arter he settles down in
life. when de man on de mex farm shoots
his hound de fus' thing he does is ter go
over an break his head ef de oder teller
don't break his, wedder de minister of
dere churches try TO smooth things over
or not. Jes de same eff de alliars don't
decide in one countrys favor bout dis
pute. dat country won't be satisfied, 'cep'
ter fight. an den all de res will pitch
in an wallOp dat country, which dey
could'n' do ef twas ourn'.
WHEN THE HORN BLEW.
"Gen'ral Lee is goin' ter take us ODER
ter Cuby, jes' ter straighten things out.
De reg'lars has took de coon from It's
nanny an all ives got ter do is ter
tame It an den sot it free. Sounds fool
ish. don't it? / ulster hear my dad an
his pards talk bout how dey had charged
ripped. snorted. and cavorted, ana
slashed, and killed in de war dey was IN.
When l go back an de boys 'speck ter
hear me tell If sech doin's, all l cam say
is. dat l slep' in a tent on de groun', got
up when de horn blew, went ter bed
when de horn blew, went ter my Victuals
when de horn blew, prom naded 'roun
wild de rest NV de company wild dis gun
on my shoulder when de horn blew an
ebry now an den had ter stan watch,
like I'm dom now. But here, comes dat
boss an / got ter get dat fancy step on
myself"
And I sauntered away wondering at
the variety Of freaks that must be in
This army OF volunteers. +. Il.