The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1898-04-20
~ suppose George and Ananias are

says that Ananias poses as the cham
pion falsiier of the ages when, as a
matter of fact, that little cherry tree
incident which he worked in on Pos
terity. completely overshadows any
thing Ananias ever did,
;Nap, suppose all this war talk
stirs the blood Of you fellows who
have seen hard service.
eyes, that S true; j was talking in
reminiscent vein to old Tecumseh
Sherman the other day. He said the
warmcst episode in his experience was
when he burnt Columbia. Then [
told him about that little episode in
my career when | burnt the wind from
Moscow withthc cossacks and other
wolfsh specimens of inhumanity in
my wake
by the way, Nap, didn't t you make
one Of your famous short, tersc speech
es on that occasion which history has
neglected?'
eyes, and it was one of the best
speeches ever made, too.
"Tcll us about it, Nap.
"Well, when We arrived at Moscow
the town was deserted; everybody had
vamoosed and not a morsel Of food
could We find. 1t was tough. My
soldiers were discouraged and knew
[ had to rely my power as a mill
tary genius to get them back to
France. 1t was then that l rose to
the occasion and made one of the best
speeches Of my life. Comrades, l
cried, this is Moscow, dreary and de-
serted, the home of the bat and the
play ground Of the chinch; far away
over yondcr, where the blue haze Airts
with the horizon and little stars never
cry for their Mars, lies Sunny France
Comrades, grid up your loins and
right about face for we Mos COW back
to France. y
"And you went back, did you not?'
eyes, but oh! what welcome [ did
get! When I left Paris for Moscow
the bands played Hail to the Chief,
but when I returned they played hell
to the chief well-hcre I am. y
"Well, Nap, you did play in hard
luck. But tell me, is Shakespeare
within call just now?'
"Yes."
"Tell him to come to the phone.
"Hello.'
(" Hello, is that you Shakcy?'
Mortal. man, why dost thou thus
speak to me thusly? To converse with
thee I would not dcign, so hold thy
peace, hang up the phone, for l return
at once to finish a game of craps
which your impertincnt summons so
rudely interrupted.
"All right, Billy, but before you ex-
unit yourself call Satan to the phone
again, will you?'
Hello.
"Hello, Satan, pardon me for inter
rupting you again. but tell me-are
there any recent arrivals worthy of
mention?"
eyes, Iconoclast Brann came down
the other day. .
Indeed, and what do you think Of
him."
ooh, he S hot number, his temper
aturc is something phenomenal. You
ought to have seen him the other day
when he met DR.. Samuel johnson
Both of them you know arc prone to
scsquipedality. They got to talking
about the present war excitement,
johnson was for peace: Brann argued
gunpowder and plenty it. johnson
finally lost patience and told Brann he
didn't have sense enough to count
wigglc tails in Spain's rain barrel.
Whereas Brann retorted that johnson
was nothing but scorbutic tuberclc
on the scroll of fame and deserved to
be kicked into the vast infnitude OF
nescience. Just at this juncture, how
ever, Boswell intcwened and red hot
scrimmagc was fortunately avertcd.
"Wcll, Satan, must bid you good
bye am under many obligations to
you for the privilege Of this interview
Give my regards to Mrs. Satan and
the kids
Most assurcdly will. and the
next time you see that promising boy
Of mine. Ben Tillman, just tell him
that YOU saw nc Bless his incor-
lllpliblc soul, he grows more like his
dad every day
All right, Satan: tn Ia
Good bye.
Tins-aling.
j \ SlrIIIyN>.