Evening journal., 1898-08-04
TROUBLE ALL THE WAY UP.
He DOught "A "HObsOn's Choice" Down
Town and Landed in a Hos
pitRI I'd Town.

The nurse adjusted the bandages on
the patients head in one Of the wards Of
big hospital uptown and then she
said:
"Now you may tell me how it hap
pened, if you will promise to be very
quiet"
SWELL, you know Monday was a
warm day." he began, so went into
a store aud told the man that I wanted
to buy a straw hat. lie picked up one,
put It on my head and he says: That's
the hat yoR want just that way.
said would like to look at others. He
said he had others, but insisted on my
taking the one he had put on my head.
l asked him il there was anything the
matter with that hat, and he said no.
but it was the one he picked out for
me as soon as he saw me come in. It's
IIobson's choice he said. 'Whose?'
l says. "Hobson's,' he says. l said /
didn't know him. Then he said every
body was saying that, and if wanted
to be strictly in it, / would take the hat
and if anybody said anything to me
about it should say it was Hobson's
choice, and the drinks would be on the
other fellow. So paid him $50, and
went away under the new hat
"When was going up the steps at
Park place station I met an old ac-
quaintance who says: Where did you
get itT l vanted TO be sure he meant
the hat, and ! says: Where did get
whats' The shed,' he says. That
threw me off. asked him what he
meant, and be pointed to the beadplece
and says: That. You look like a calf
under o nev she'd he says. That's one
Of Hobson's, I says (which isY he
says. The hat is says. 7 didn't
know Uobson was in the hat business,
be saXs. Which one of them? p I says.
Ihep he laughed and polsed me and
says: lWhich one are you talking
aboutT Honest ! says, It's Hob
soPs.' IF it's Hobson's, he says, you'd
better take it back TO him and tell him
10 sfee you your old one You don't
seem to know about IT, says, and then
told him about how everybody was
talking about Hobson. He looked at
me and says: You'd better take rome-
thing for IT,
"And then says: All right, come
on and we went into the first place
and we stood there quite awhile, and
when we went out found II cost me
about dollar and he hadn't paid any
thing.
$50 left him and came on uptown.
thinking all the way up. Two men
were on the seat M front of ms. /
couldn't hear all they said, but one
of thera remarked as his station was
called that he s'posed it was Hobson's +
choice
Then / looked ut my hat TO see II II
was oil right. 1t seemed as Il 1t was
too small, but put it back and went
op 70 Forty-second street. whore got
OF and went into lunch place, where
| met another acquaintance. Pretty
soon he sRysi That was a brave thing
Tor Ilobson 70 DO said yea. You
heard about it?' he says. Yes,' says
aud il cost pe $3.50, and you VIII please
sell your gon bricks to somebody else,
says. Don't take me for fool al
the time says. You must be crazy,
he says. 4 got no gold bricks. he says
I'm talking about the brave man whc
sunk his ship In the haFborN What:
bis nnmeY says. Hobson,' he says
Then / got up and took my hat from
the peg and showed Il 70 him and
says; That's Hobson's.' lie looked ai
it and says: Why don't you wear youi
own hat? WHAT are you doing, he says
wearing IIohson's hat$ And then I hi'
him. And when came to was here
~. Y. Sun.