The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1898-11-24
y}orycffes.


Professional humorists of the past
so years and more have told as fam
cifui joke, little incident which
actually happened few days ago.
Teddy Claherty, of Leiperville, Dele
ware county, was not well, and so con-
suited a Chester physician, who gave
him simple remedy. "Now remem-
ber," said the doctor, "you are to take
a teaspoonful three times day in
water" Teddy answered. Cali right,
sorr,'' and departed. Several days later
George Leiper, the we'll known quarry
man of the town, meeting the physi
clan, asked him what new-fangled
ideas in medicine he was practiclng.
When asked to explain, Mr. Leiper
said Teddy CIaherty had gone to Rid
ley creek three times day, and taking
off his clothes, had waded into the
middle of the creek, where he had
poured a liquid into a teaspoon from a
bottle and drank it. 81 watched Teddy
wade out in the morning." continued
MIR. Leiper, land when he continued it
IN the afternoon, 1 asked him what he
was doing, and he said the doctor
ordered him to take the. medicine in
water, an, be COB sorr, I'm mindin' the
directions, but can't swim sthrOke,
but Pm tellin' We if it's the death O. me
I'll kape it up" The doctor made an
early call on Teddy, who now drops
the medicine in a glass of water and
takes it that way.-Philadelphia
Record.
a story illustrating red tape was
told nae the other day by an engineer
officer, writes Arnold White in Har-
perS Weekly. In the course of his
duties, which involved travelling over
the country, he sent in bill which
contained charge, porter, 3d." The
word porter is one of those dubious
terms in the English language which
are capable of two interpretations.
One signifies the man who carries ones
baggage at a railway station; the other
lis the form of black beer which is
KNOWN under the name of "porter."
When my informant, therefore,
claimed return of the sixpence he
had expended he was told by the War
Office authorities that alcoholic drinks |
We're not to be included in the travel
ing allowance of af1icers. He rejoined
that he was not claiming for alcoholic
drink, but for the hire of a man to |
transport his baggage at station.
Upon which the sapient official re-
loIhed that in future he should not |
claim for porter, but porterage. On
the next occasion on which this officer
who was wag, was ve'ing on behalf
of his country, he sent in bill which |
Included the item, cabbage 2s." The
bill was promptly returned by the War
Office authorities, with the statement |
that green vegetables were not to be
Included in the travelling allowance of
Officers. The officer replied that he did
not mean to imply that he had bought
green vegetables, but that he had taken
a cab and that. as when he had asked
foG the hire of porter he was in
structed to call it porterage, he cond
only presume that he was carrying out
their lordships' wishes in claimil for
the return of the sniH he had land cow,
ON the transport of his person and
goods from the st stion under the lead
of cabbage"
A correspondent sent us the f low
ing story from Mississippi: G unsel
for the defense was addressiny;. coun.
try J. p. of the 'old school," Said he;
81 realize that l stand in the presence
OF descendant of the grand old Huge
not family that emigrated from France
to escape from religious intolerance.
Many able jurists have sprung from
that family and embellished the bench
and bar of the Union. Their watch
words are honor, truth and Justice, and
their names are spoken in every home.
The law is so plain in this case that he
who runs may read Shall l insult the
intelligence of this court by reiterating
proposition so simple? Need l say
nore?-''
NO" interrupted the judge, "'tain't
necessary-I'll give you Judgment"
Counsel sat down, while the judge with
emphasis knocked the ashes from his
cob pipe and counsel for the plaintiff
began:
'May it please the court"
Squire, what are you fixin' to do?"
asked the judge.
al have tho clOsinr orruroonf 1roc |