The Somerset reporter., 1898-11-03
ing look, then silently left him to his

ing look, then silently left him to his
own devious devices.
Then Peter set to work IN desperate
earnest. With number of newspapers
he enshrouded the various articles of
furniture, then spread further guam
tity all over the carpet Next he pro
ceeded to invest the walls with the or
der of the papor collar, as one might
tenn it all this done. Peter looked
around upon his handiwork, a smile of
satisfaction meandering across his face
as he did so.
"Who said it was impossibl to white
wash ceiling without sT>iling every
thing in the room?" he soliloquized.
"I'll show 'em how it's done"
The self satisfied Peter then proceeded
to conceal his own rotund form with
the mysterious paper combinations pre-
viously mentioned. Certainly his APP
pearanoe was more that Of a circus clown
than of respectable ratepaying oiti-
zen, especially when he concluded his
toilet by placing on his massive (some
called it fat) Uranium paper cap of the
orthodox sugar loaf shape SO much at.
1tCbtu ny BiobOGdoO6 ia tho oh w - AGs.
However, there was nobody present to
see him. So what did it NATTER
Up the handy pair of steps sprang
Peter, bucket and brush in hand. and
without unnecessary delay he made dash
No at the oeiling-whioh, by the
way, he had forgotten should have first
been water washed-with the brush
heavily charged with the identifying
mixture. The result was not quite as
the amateur distemper could have wish
ed. A far greater percentage of the
whiting descended in a thick shower on
Peters paper dittoes than went on to
the ceiling to say nothing Of sundry big
splashes dropping upon various parts of
his upturned face, causing him to sneeze
so violently as to very nearly lose his
balance and topple off the steps igno-
miniously to the floor.
After ten minutes wild dabbing and
splashing Peter thought he might as
we'll assist exhausted nature by blowing
the fragrant weed during work, just as
though he were real British workm an.
So he came down from his perch, found
his beloved brier, charged it with some
of Taddy' Myrtle Grove" and lighted
it with British made match. This lat
ter he-British workmanlike-dropp
while still af1ame on to his improvised
paper drugget
No sooner had Peter again mounted
his rostrum than, glancing downward,
he saw, to his dismay, the devouring
element Swimming along the floor
Down scuttled the alarmed distemperer,
with the intention of stamping out the
blaze. But, alas, in the excitement of the
moment poor Peter forgot the nature of
his improvised overalls The next mo-
ment the tongues of the fiery serpents
crawling on the floor had licked Peter S
ready mades, and he was soon fran
tically occupied in tearing off the paper
covering and burning his hands to a
rather "sulphury" tune
The situation threatened to develop
into something serious, as the fire had
commenced to mount the walls, so Peter
was reluctantly compelled to fling open
the door and yell for assistance,
Mrs. Grigwell rushed forth from the
back regions, and. giving wild look
into the room, fled screaming to the
street door, which she flung open, and
then she proceeded to shrek out:
Fire, fire Police, policer'
Suddenly great commotion was
heard in the 'front.' the street door was
thrown violently open, and brass
helmeted figure doomed family through
the thick smoke which filled the en-
trance hall. The next instant a shining
copper tube was pushed forward into
the room, and before Peter could find
breath to tell the man who pointed the
nozzle full at him that all danger was
past he was almost off his feet by a
powerful jet of water which drenched
him to the skin.
However, he soon found his tongue
sufficiently to overwhelm the fireman in
some choice vernacular that nearly had
the effect of starting the fire afresh.
With ali injured look beneath his
metal headpiece the fireman threw
down his hose, and, going to the street
door, growled out to his colleagues out
side:
Turn orf!'
The following day the professio nal
"distemperers' came as heretofore, and
at Christmas their little o. bill will
come to Peter Grigwell as usual. The
house furnishers too will benefit by
Peters laudable but misdireoted efforts
to economic. Taken altogether, Mrs
Grigwell's prophecy was pretty accu-
rate. Exchange.