The times., 1898-09-12
he WILL ENLIST.
A sfny-ni-Homc Envies the Luck of
- Volunteer.
(From the New York SUM-

(From the New York SUM-
If there is ever another war L am go
ing to enlist. regardless of the cause.
This was the continuation of dinner
talk at club in this city. The speaker
proceeded:
''The other day 1 saw Mrs Blank try
ing to hail the driver of an ice wagon by
yelling at him. / was dumfounded. be-
cause she Is generally a helpless crea-
ture, and never heard of her intere sting
herself In any of the domestic duties OF
her house. | mentioned the unusual oc
currence to my wife at dinner. and she
said she thought 1t was very commend
able In Mrs. Blank. / ventured to repy
that 1t was not graceful and that | should
not care to see my wife yelling at an ice
nan. or any man.
:" But you see,' rejoined my wife as she
passed my cup Mrs. Blanks husband
was a volunteer
True said l. but his command Eeyer
got to the front No fault of his. ! admit.
And now he is home and is as healthy
and robust as / am. He told me himself
ms army experience was an outing for
him. and that he never felt better in his
life
Quite true said my wife, but Mrs.
Blank probably thinks of what might
have been. saw her calling to the ice
man-she was not yelling. as you put 1t:
ana she explained to me, dear, that n
husband expressed a desire for a dish the
preparation of which required an extra
allowance of ice, and that as he had said
he had not tasted the dish in question
since he enlisted she thought she wou
have 1t prepared, and In order that there
might be no mistake she just put on her
| hat and attended to the order herself
And think it was very sweet of her.
II Immediately changed the topic. Aft
er cigar / said L would cali up my
| liveryman and have him send round the
/ victoria and team. | thought an even
/ ing on Riverside in the face of the moon
about the proper thing AS l was start
ing to the telephone my wife put her
arms round my neck and said she had
( sent the team round to Mrs. Blanks be-
cause Mrs. Blank had said that Mr. Blank
had not been out for drive since he en-
listed.
Last Saturday / concluded l would
give my wife bit of a surprise, and at
| 10 o'clock in the morning l called her
over the wire and told her to have the
man bring her to pier so-and-so, and to
bring her traps for bit of a cruise. She
thanked me, and said I was thoughtful,
and put in some very pretty talk. She
said in the same treacle tone:
Say, Jim, dear. do you care If Mr.
and Mrs. Blank join us?'
why ! shouted back. They had
the rig the other day when l wanted It.
Confound it, can't we have our yacht
one night alone?' l asked.
"Well. l waited minute for the effect,
and then [ heard her voice, low and
sweet. Jim. dear. l know it was not
just right, but I had asked them to go
aboard this evening after you came up
was going 10 surprise you. And Mrs
Blank said Mr.. Blank had not been on
a yacht since-he enlisted. | thought II
would be nice
'And so it goes. Mr.. and Mrs Blank
were at card party at my house, and
my wife said she hoped | would not skin
Mr. Blank as used to do, because he
had not been to a card party since he en-
listed Mr. Bank sent over for my fish
ing outfit-you know that outfit, which
cost me $500 three years ago. never hac
it out but twicei Well | was out of town
and my wife sent II over. and when
howled about IT she said poor Mr.. BLANK
had not been fishing since he enlisted.
"And now MIR. and Mrs. Blank and my
wife are away up in the Adirondacks
cause Mr. Blank has not been anywhere
since he enlisted And when he looks
| at me and sees me getting red in the
face he shuts one eye and says, Jim. yot
missed 1t when you didn't enlist? Why
damn his head, he hasn't been out of the
! Statet" ~