Evening star., 1898-09-10

tastes like degenerate quality of diluted
mpriatic acid. OF course, being a man with
some degree of respect for your interior
economy, you do not eat at this back yard
table d'hote, nor do you drink. Thereby
you incur the temporary disapproval of
your New York friend.
Whats got into you?" he asks testify
Have you forgotten how to appreciate a
good thing when YOU fall up against U?"
But the guilelcssness of the New York
man is incredible. He continues to sub
merge himself in the cochineal bath of red
wine in the backyard table d hote, rlingles
in the general talk at the tables-the talk
consists chiefly of a frenZ:ed and tumul-
tuous discussion of the decadent school of
French fiction, of the prose of Paul Rour-
get and the verses of Paul Nerlaine. for
must not French atmosphere" be created
Within the confines of backyard French
table d'hote?-and making no more of an
egreEious blunderer of himself during this
taik than do all of the others-he thinks
he is having fun and ENJOYING himself His
| only grief Is that you do not appear to be
enjoying yourself.
| This is not a farciful, but 1t is quite
literal. sketch of a table dhote over which
new York men, and women. too who en-
aeaNor to impress you with the belief that
| they know a very great deal indeed. of
/ TINS world and of the good things thereof,
| have positively been raving ever since its
| vogue began a few months ago.
When 1t was announced in a dispatch
| from Madrid the other day that the Span
| lsh members of the peace commission will
|
that Spain be pei mitted to remove the
| bones Of Christopher Columbus from Ha-
| vana TO the land whence he sailed to dis
cover America. the claim-everything class
OF New YORK newspapers were on hand, as
| Usual They said, with a good daal of
truth. that there is not che chance in a
thousand that the American members of
'he peace conference will consent to any
such proposition; and they maint aimed
also with truth, that any member of the
peace commission who would declare him
self in favor Of the scheme to return the
ashes of the great discoverer to TIC coun-
try that matreated him and fmDrisaned
him, would find himself mighty unpopular
throughout the length and breadth Of the
United states. So far, SO good But the
claim everything class of New York news
papers didn't stop at that
They declared f1atfootedly that the ashes
or Columbus ought by right to be brought
10 New fork, to repoSe in a great mauSo-
leum to be erected by popular subsc ription
of the people of New York. This latter fea-
ture of the suggestion, lie, the popular
subscription" end of it, makes fine printed
talk, but there are people living in the
provinces of this country who easily re-
member the tremendous effort that Horace
Porter and number of other famous citi-
Zens or this town had to muster in order
to get enough money together to finish the
tomb for the reception of the body of so
mighty and modern an American hero as
Ulysses S. Grant. The facility with which
New York newspapers suggest popular
subscriptions" at the hands of a populace,
whose conception of the thing known as
public spirit is manifested by two or
three-day whirl for all hands upon the
arrival here of body of sailors or soldiers
and Is rarely, if ever, collectively mani
tested in any other way, is diverting. None
of the newspapers which advocate the
moval of Columbus bones from Havana to
New York specify any reason why New
York should be entitled to the distinction
of being the eternal resting place of the
remains of Americas discoverer. AS a
m or of fo1, No axic+ p,,+
II there is to be any such a removal, every
reason seems to exist why Washington, the
capital of the nation. should have the body
of the discoverer. The American members
of the peace commission will probably not
have much difficulty in perceiving this
when the question of the disposition of Ce-
lumbus' body comes up for settlement at
the conference. New York's claim to the
honor of being the final resting place of the
discoverer who is responsible for this na-
ton is only mentioned here to indicate the
unreasoning modesty of this town.
How long would street car conductor
of this sort last in Washington?
An elderly man, accompanied by a frail-
locking young woman. boarded a Broad
way at Barclay street the other day.
OF course neither the elderly man nor his
daughter got 2. seat. One is tempted to
imagine that the people one sees occupying
seats on the Broadway cars must board
them at dawn in the morning and hold
them down out Of sheer perversity until
after midnight. The elderly man was too
busily engaged in hanging onto his strap
and in looking cut for his daughter to hear
the Cherry I1illite of conductor when that
rasp-voiced official walked along the foot
board and whispered in Bowsry patois.
ANY o youse want tTansfers?' The
elderly man wanted transfer to Sth
street and about couple of minutes after
tie conductor had passed along. whisper
ing the transfer question, the elderly man
beckoned to the conductor and asked him
for two sth street transfers. The con-
ductor raked his hat back on his head
and glared at the elderly man.
IVY de HI didn't youse say so Wen l
ccme along here givfn' de transfer hol-
ler?' he bawled at the passenger. "Wot
kin of a ole geeZer are youse anyhow,
an wot do youse tink I am?"
The old gentleman looked thunderstruck.
Il shall report you, sir. to the directors
of this road, said he to the conductor,
"Aw Who'e been tellin' youse?" sneered
the conductor. Report me eye. Do youse
tink de compny amt got notitn' better
to do dan t listen to de spiels of ole jays
like youSe? Here, take yer transfers. an
here's where youse gifts off. Step lively"
Then he hustled the elderly man and
the elderly mans daughter off the car, and
all the rest of the passengers looked at
each other and grinned complaisantly.
A couple of samples of the administration
of police court justice in the American me-
trooolis:
d
stevedore was sent by the latter to corner
groggery Il few days ago to buy a pint bot
tie of whisky. On her return with the whis-
ky the little girl opened the bottle out of
curiosity, smelt it. and then took a swig of
it. She took another and still another pull
at the whisky bottle, and a few moments
later she was picked up in the street by n
member of the Gerry Society. The child
was stupidly drunk. The member of the
Gerry Society, after placing the little girl
under medical treatment. had her father
arrested on the charge of being an improp-
er guardian for children. In the police
court the stevedore at first sharply
questioned by the magistrate. 1t was:
What do you mean. sir, by such scan
dalous conduct as sending mere baby out
after liquor" and a similar strain Of
warm talk. The little girl. haggard from
her whisky-imbibng experience-her life
had been in jeopardy for hours-was in
the court room, and everybody thought her
father in for a severe bit of punish
ment. Then a well-known politician
stepped behind the judges desk and
whispered a few words to the magistrate.
1t appeared that the stevedore was rather
a power as a whipper-in among the long
shoremen of the town.
''Honorably discharged said the magis-
=