davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Connecticut western news., 1898-03-31

A countryman wandering about a churchyard came upon a stone having the inscription, "Sic transit gloria mudi". What does that mean?" he asked of the sexton, who had been ex- plaining the inscriptions to him. The sexton p p,ered toward it, and, not wish ing to show any ignorance, replied !: Well, 1t means that he was sick tran silently, and went to glory on Monday morning. ."-WestpoIt Herald.
Connecticut western news., 1898-03-31

Uncle Josh-How about that Perkins boy-the one who used to come to see lilly? Is he ever going to make any thing of himself?
 Uncle Rube-Gosh, I should say he was! Makes fool of himself every chance he gets,
Connecticut western news., 1898-03-31

The habit of calling children "kids" even among educated people is becom- ing a common one and received fitting rebuke from little girl only three years old the other day. Some one called her "kid," and she replied: 'I ain't kid, my mamma and papa ain't a goatp -Westporter.
Connecticut western news., 1898-03-31

Myser-Tbat's good cigar, old man. It was smuQgled from Cuba
 Josher-I can't see why anybody took the trouble to smuggle 1.-the duty would be so very small.
Connecticut western news., 1898-03-31

The sultan has presented the Coena- culum or Upper Room of she Last Supper" to the German emperor. who has announced his intention of intrust- ing the guardianship of the building to the German Roman Catholic missionar- ies at Jerusalem.
Connecticut western news., 1898-03-31

First detective-There really isn't any evidence against him. Second detective - Why did you arrest him?
 First dstsctiye - Well--er-there isn't any evidence against any body else.
Connecticut western news., 1898-03-31

Prayn-Have you heard that terrible story about old Stifle being buried alive?
 Dr Bolus (hastily) Buried alive? Impossible! Why, he was one of my patientsl
Connecticut western news., 1898-03-31

The general agent of a large railroad says that he will in tue future employ no young man who smokes cigarettes and that he intends to get rid of all now in his department who smoke them. Eighty five per cent, " he says,
 .of the mistakes made in the office by my POO clerks are trsceable to the 32 who use cigarettes. ."-Derby Transcript.
Connecticut western news., 1898-03-31

Mistress-Do you call this sponge cake. Why, it's as hard as it can be.
 New Cook-Yes, mum; that's the way 8 sponge is before it's wet. Soak it in your tea, mum.
Connecticut western news., 1898-03-31

Her Mother-I am surprised, my daughter, that you should suffer a man to kiss you.
 Herself-But, mamma, I don't call it suffering.
Connecticut western news., 1898-03-31

It was au Aberdeen landlord who raised the rent of one of his houses because the walls bulged out, and therefore made the house larger.
Connecticut western news., 1898-03-31

"Does this car go up Third s.reet?" "No. madam. Take the next car" "But don't want the car. I don't wish to go up Third street
Connecticut western news., 1898-03-31

To understand how many more than sixty minutes can be crowded into an hour you have only to make your semi annual visit to the dentists.
Connecticut western news., 1898-03-31

At 8 ball in New York each guest represented vegetable. It is presum- ed that when the onion and the hors'- radish entered there was not a dry eye in the house. Hudson Republican.
Connecticut western news., 1898-03-31

Fuddy-Is Torman a man of good judgment?
 Duddy-He would be if he did not rely so much upon his own judgment.
Connecticut western news., 1898-03-31
In the Carpet Room

Carpet buying for spring is going on in earnest. We are showing a complete stock of all the new pat terms.
Connecticut western news., 1898-03-31

"Was he secretary or treasurer of the company"
 Well, they supposed he was only secretary until after he had gone."
Connecticut western news., 1898-03-31

Customer-Do You suppose you can take good picture of me?
 Photographer-Is shall have to answer you in the negative, sir.
Connecticut western news., 1898-03-31

"A dose in time saves lives" Dr Woods Norway Pine. Syrup; natures remedy for coughs, colds, pulmonary diseases of every sort.
Connecticut western news., 1898-03-31

Hives are 8 terrible torment to the little folks, and to some older ones. Easily cured. Doan's Ointment never fails. Instant relief. permanent cure. At any drng store, 50 cents.
Connecticut western news., 1898-03-31
HORSES !!

Next sale of the Farmers Market Day Asso- citation will be held at Great Harrington, Sat- urday, April 2, commencing at 10 o'clock, sharp. There is so large consignment that the entire day will be needed to dispose of the goods.
 The Association has received consignments of car load fresh Horses direct from Illi- be in their stables on Wednesday before sale for inspection. They comprise fine assort- ment for draught and general purposes, weighing from l 1000 to l, 300 pounds, and are sold guaranteed as represented. The sale of Horses will commence at l o'clock p. m., and continue until sold.
 Household furniture and farming imple- ments, harness and wagons.
 W. I. WALKER, Pres. J.F. WHITING, Sec.
 H. s. MANLEY, Auetioneer.
Connecticut western news., 1898-03-31

Higgins-I understand the Spanish forces have had run of success.
 Wiggins Yes; I read about it. They had to run pretty fast, however
Connecticut western news., 1898-03-31

Indians never kiss each other. Judg- ing from those we have seen we do not blame them.
Connecticut western news., 1898-03-31

A household necssity-Dr Thomas Electric Oil. Heals burns, cuts, wounds of any sort: cures sore throat, croup, catarrh, asthma; ever fails.
Connecticut western news., 1898-03-31
TAX NOTICE.

The rate bill of 1898 on list of 1897 for the town of Canaan has been placed in my hands for collection. will meet the tax payers to receive their taxes on the following days, viz: On Tuesday, April 12. at H. R. Whitford's post office at p. m. On Wednesday. April l3 at Falls Village Savings Bank, at p. m. Interest at three-quarters of one per cent per month will be charged after May 1, 1898.
 ARTHUR F. GIBBS. Collector. Falls Village, Conn.,, March IS, 1898.
Connecticut western news., 1898-03-31

WANTED-Intelligent ladies and gentle
 w men who are willing to engage in light employment for Sl5 per week and expenses. Call for c. B. Chase at J. l.. Bragg's, Canaan, Conn.
Connecticut western news., 1898-03-31
Dress Goods, Colored

ra1ac Mixtures and Plaids pryd 6Hc
 roc Two tone Armure roc SOC Handsome Plaids |" aoc soc Novelty Suitings |" soc SOC German Mixtures 2oc 39c Coverts and Checks |" Ioc soc Mixtures and Coverts '" 3oc oSc so inch Examines |" 4oc
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1898-11-20

mail come dancing towards the grotesuue
figure. Usually the Bedouins or fellahs can
not read or write Then the carrier becomes
interpreter and secretary. In fact he lives
from this revenue, as the government does
not pay him the salary which he is
titled to.
When I filed a dispatch at Damascus
some weeks ago the official begged me not
10 enter the amount of the tolls paid into
that purpose. You must enter yourself the
amount paid to the operator in this book so
that he cannot commit any fraud. When |
told the Damascene that would have to
abide by the rules, else my dispatch would
not reach its destination he pleaded with
me- telling me he had five little ones, and
since half-year the government had not
paid him cent salary He said if l would
nave pity on him he would guarantee the
prompt and safe delivery of the message
l omitted to make the entry and my dis
under ordinary circumstances II would have
consumed perhaps several days in trans
mission 1t is nothing unusual in Turkey
for letter mailed simultaneous with the
filing of dispatch for the same adlreSSee
to reach its destination before the telegram
The Turkish postmaster at Jerusalem asked
me one day this pertinent question: why
you are calling for mail again? You only
got mail last week. What is the matter
with your"
Jerusalem has at all times much transient
grims at all times, and not a single letter
box has been provided either in the streets
or in the public places.
Such are the vicissitudes and annoyances
visitors to the Ottoman Empire must eX-
pect to contend with.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1898-11-20

Harold F'rederic's self-confdence and
power of dominating strangers stood him
in good stead in one of his first vsits-if
not his very first visit-to Berlin. The in
cident as he related it seemed natural
enough to an American not brought UP in
awe of a miltary caste, but to those who
knew Germany it was almost surprising
that he came through it with his life. He
had been paying some formal diplomatic
calls and in the evening dropped in at the
Cafe Bauer in the unwonted glory Of
frock coat and q tall silk hat. This hat was
carefully hung on a hatstand and Frederic
sat down to read an English newspaper just
arrived. Enter a particularly fine specimen
of the lieutenant, booted and spurred and
swOrded and epauletted. He brushed against
the hatStand. knocked Frederic's hat over
into the saw6ust and staggered to his seat
without so much as looking around The
slight to the hat was more than Frederic
could endure. In towering passion he went
to the lieutenant, stood over him and
pointed to the object on the floor. Pick up
that hat, siri'' he roared. The officer stared
amazed, the walters were paralyzed with
terror at hearing one so much more than
human so addressed by civilian. Pick up
that hiatt" repeated Frederic in a tone more
menacing than before. And the lieutenant
did what he was told He was as irresist-
IDLY dominated by the courage and force of
the man as a schoolboy before his master,
or perhaps he thought Frederic carried the
customary West American revolver.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1898-11-20
CAPRICE of the MUSES..

OF old the MUSES. sat on high.
And heard and judged the songs of men;
On one they smiled, who loitered by;
OF toiling ten, they sighted ten.
"They lightly serve who serve us best,
Nor know they how the task was done;
We MUSES. love a soul at rest,
But violence and toll we shun.'
If say true, the MUSES. now
Have changed their ancient habitude,
And would be served with knitted brow.
And stress and toll each day renewed.
So each one with the other vies,
OF those who weave romance or song:
"On us, o Muse, bestow the prize,
For we have striven well and longl'
And yet methnks I hear the hest
Come murmuring down from Helcon:
''They lightly serve who serve us best,
Nor know they how the task was doner'
Edith NJ Thomas, in The Dial
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1898-11-20

of the grounds completely, can get no nearer
than half mile of the house itself.
This is rather hard on the stranger who
would like to view Nj. Vanderbilts palace
in the North Carolina mountains for truly
1t has no match either in America or Eu-
rope BY the side Of BiltmOre the grandest
castle on the Rhine looks cheap. 1t is with
out doubt the most magnificent private resi-
dence in the world
TT is estimated that Mr.. Vanderbilt has
spent in the neighborhood of S. 100000 on
this property. which. OF course. includes
vast amount of land, the wnole tract COM
prissng 10000 acres. He continues 20 sell
chickens and eggs and butter and the like
from his farm. and DO not suppose he will
ever get back one-ha!f OF the cost Of the
pront from his place probably never en-
tered his mind.
Ills coming 70 Aohev1lle was q blessing
70 tha town and ~ ciHxeu9 Wi1ls ever put
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1898-11-20
A Palace in the Mountains.
washington Post.

washington fOSI.
THE people of AshevilIe are very glad
to get young Mr.. George Vanderbilt back
among them once more remarked Mr.. Will
liam p. HILL of that noted mountain town..
He came back to his grand estate, Bit
more. after long absence. and his coming
was all the more interesting because he
brought q bride along. A special train
brought the pair and a big company OF in
vtted guests and Biltmore has ever since
been scene Of unliKaited festal pleasures.
While its owner was away eightseera were
always given permission to view the gl0ries
OF the place. but now II Is sacred from In
trusion. and the tourist. though not shut out
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1898-11-20

o Life OF life whose breath the tfdeless stream
or stars obeys. soft flowing day and night
Thou vast Almighty in that touch 50 slight
Il shivered not the thinnest wavering beam
Thrilling Thy way with acknowledgement CLEAN
Through stubborn realms to work Thy way %
light
Yet 10 Tny spirit wanting finer sight
Appeared not then Thy mlghtiness supreme.
Must 1 still see Thee move with gaiaxiea
And mine eyes miss the going OF Thy feet
On threads too weak 20 bear . dew-drops
etFeGs3
with meadop~p oilsn hornn 90 alfty fhae
Hast been Almighty n Thy tend9ruesa
REV. Frank ~. Cunsauiun. ii ina auscen
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1898-11-20
supplementary History.

Naturally, when King Nebuchadnezzar
took TO eating grass it made more or less
talk among the neighbors.
He's touched in his nut" remarked some
But there were others who were more ra-
tional.
Hes paying. an election bet," declared
they, confidently.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1898-11-20

Detroit Journal.

DtITOIL JOuTDdI.
Blush-You did not stop at the drug store
as I requested your
Beryl Montagues voice rang out clear and
cold. AS for Mr.. Montague her husband
he drew himself up to his full height
Nor he answered haughtily "Eave I
not given my word that 1 would never do
anything to bring the blush to your cheek?
Telephone for your complexion and fell file
druggist to send ii upi''
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1898-11-20

ia all other cases. one OF the greatest errors
of Spanish administration"
General Brooke has promptly fulfilled the
hopes Of Mr.. Diaz. Shortly after these facts
were made known to the writer General
Orders No. were issued from the palace
anHuiling the decree
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1898-11-20
Getting at 1t.
PhIladelphia North Amercan.

Attorney-Now, madam, will you be kind
enough to give us your age?
The Witness (1ippantly)-Oh, 1 was born
before the war.
Attorney. (crushingly)-Yes, madam. Span
ish or civil?
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1898-11-20
Its Size.
Harlem Life.

Miss Totling-Miss Sincoe was born with a
silver spoon in her mouth
Miss Dimling (after a glance at the
mouth)-Tablespoon?
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1898-11-20
A Huge Success.
Chicago Record

Chicago Record.
Does Mrs. Buster make good club pres
ident?'
Il should say so; she never wears the
same dress twice.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1898-11-20
Torture.
Puck.

'Ha, hal" laughed the coal baron, mock
ingly, for all his life he had been wont to
be roasted.
Satan was visibly nettled.
Just let this party stand around and see
us keep up a fire without fuel' commanded
his Majesty, CURLY.
The coal baron implored mercy, but in
vain.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1898-11-20
Had a Good Reason.
Chicago Post.

Chicago POSt.
'.Why do you always refer to him as a.
man who makes hay while the sun shineS?
Because have seen him flirting with
grass widow on a hot afternoon"
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1898-11-20
A Soft Answer.
Town Topic!

Town Topics
Mrs. Benham-Pm sorry I married fool.
Benham-Don't worry about it. you
couldn't have married anything but a fool
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1898-11-20
Identified.
Detroit Tribune


Mr.. Observation-Disclosures, who is this
Richard Washington Grimes 1 hear you
talking about so much?
Miss Bainbridge-He is the little Dick
Grimes you used to know, papa. He writes
poetry now.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1898-11-20
One Cure.
Jewish Comm

Jewish Comment
Doctor, am troubled with failing mem
ory."
my. rule, as you know, is pay in adj
vance,"
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1898-11-20

Lord IittIedough (who has got old Cold
kash in a corner a the club)-Mr CoIeka 81
your daughter is the idol of my life. the
one hope and aim of my existence Might
dare hope that some day may be per
mitted TO call her '.wife?'
Mr.. Coldkash (astonished)- my dear
sir have no daughter.
Lord Lttledough-0h pardon mel Some
body told me that you had. Let's have q
drink.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1898-11-20
HUMOR OF THE DAY.
A Simple Thing.
Puck.

Belle-How did you find out the name Of
Mauds new beau?
Lena-I gave her my new pen to try.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1898-11-20
InconsideIate.
New York Times,

Lola-Tom is going to be an undertaken.
He says some one dies every time he
breathes.
Theone-Heavens! Why doesn't he use
cloves?
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1898-11-20

George Vanderbilt first in their category OF
good things. May he live long and pros
per-
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1898-11-20

cAnsF0n pianos arc flne = Wulschnsr's.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1898-11-20
TWENTY TO :

the horc n Il
Hand see us and we will save unanyd
he ppOu
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1898-11-20

60SSSSS 8 . S0S1S 90 S>SS,6S,S $685.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1898-11-20

Is THE RELIABLE FURNITURE AND CARPET G
South Illinois Street Our three great stores Gre
with the newest, brightest and best selected stock il
Our prices are from
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1898-11-20

peatedly in the gypsum deposits near Paris
Who was Croesus? Also. who were Damon
ard Pythias?-Kate.
Croesus was king of Lydia who ruled
from $50 to 546 B. c. He was famous for
MS wealth. Damon and Pythias were
Greeks When the latter was condemned
TO death by Dionysius he begged time to set
tie his affairs, offering his friend Damon as
pledge that he should appear at the time
appointed for his execution. Damon agreed
to die unless his friend returned. and
Pythias's return just in time to save the
others life so surprised Dionysius that he
pardoned the offender.
tered out of the volunteer service. an officer
In the federal or the Confederate service
during the war?-J. N D.
He was in the federal service. He en-
tered the federal volunteer army as an aid
de-camp QieutenanD, serving from Aug. 20
1861, TO June 5, 1862, when he went into the
regular army as a second lieutenant in the
Second Artillery. He became lieutenant
Aug. i, 1863 captain June II, 1874 and major
in the inspector generals department on
Jan. 90 1881. He was lieutenant colonel in
1885. colonel in the same year, and was
promoted to brigadier general and inspector
general on Jan. 80. 1885,
Who was the President OF the TJnited
states from 1877 (the adoption of the CongfI
tutlonl to the Inauguration Of Washington
in lsS9?-H. II. X.
There was no President. The country was
governed. so far as it was governed, By the
various States. each OF which at first acted
only for itself and by the Continental Con-
sress. which finally died without any one
knowing when. The presidents Of the Con.
tinental Congress during and after the
adoption Of the Constitution were Arthur
st. Clair. Feb. 2 1871. to Jan. n. Issi Cyrus
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1898-01-07
Leo Gerhard's Death.

Leo Gerhard died at Roseburg. January
z, 1898, and his remains were buried i'll
the Catholic cemetary, uear Corvallis,
Tuesday, morning. Fxneral services
were held in the Catholic ceurch, Faith
er Jaurek conducting the sad ceremonies.
Leo Gerhard was born near Corvallis
Aug. s, 1865. and spent most of his life
here, where lie made many friends and
no exenies. A man of generous impuls-
es, he was more true to his friends than
to himself; aud whatever faults he may
have had land who has not faults?1. were
such as injured only himself. He was
sympathetic and cempaHienable, and will
be ever kindly remembered by those who
knew him best There is truth in these
words of poet who sings by the Pacific,
'In men, whom xlen condema as ill,
find so much of goodness still;
In men whom men pronounce divine,
find SO much of sin and blot,
1 hesitate to draw the line -
Between the two, where God has not"
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1898-01-07
The Fire Department.

Columbus Read, of Young America
Company is president of the board of
fire delegates, and Brady Burnett, Hook
:, Ladder, is secretary. The other mem
bers of the board are, Hook & Ladder,
G. w. Denm.n and E. H. Smith; Young
America, Henry Carver and Ed Clarke.
Young America Company is to have a
brass Land. Preliminary steps were
takes at the meeting Monday night ard
Fred Overland.r was appointed leader
and manager. A number of experienced
players have signified their intention of
joining. They are now looking for a
hall wherein to practice. The Hook &
Ladder Company had a band at one
time, but Young America objected to itz
practicing in the fremen's hall, and the
board established rule that now ex-
cludcs Young Americas nausical orgaai-
z,tiSn. Yonns America members take
an interest i'll th.ir company and turn
out well at every meeting.
Hook & Ladder Company has nearly
40 members and is in high spirits.'' 1t
meets nleuthly and the boys have
takeu to literary programs after the busi-
ness is tran:actea. This feature is prov
isg Instructive and very interesting.
The Ladies coffee club has given up the
idea of presenting play and the next
party. it is SAID. will he be more social than:
literary -
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1898-01-07
Talks by Business Men.

The Cash Store. is bureau of holiday
goods. Pretty articles, useful articles,
articles to look at and articles to wear.
Toys for the children.
S. L. Kline has exhibited in his north
window one of the largest candles ever
shown i'll Corvallis. He offers caah
prize of $40 to the person that will guess
how long tbs candle will burn. Call at
the store for particulars. Special atten-
ton will be given to holiday goods dur
ing this month.
GrahaEa & Wells have a fine line OF
stationery and ia school books and school
supplies they carry full line. Pure
drugs and medicines,
Miss Pcrnot carries complete line of
ladies' furnishing goods AID fancy arti-
cles. Quality excellent and prices very
reasonable.
If you have used your eyes 80 years,
they are no douAt beginning to show
signs Of wear. Consult U. B. Nogle AID
sce ifhis sp. ctacles will not make reading
more pleasant.
Small's candies are superb. Best ci-
g:rs and tobacco. Fine billiard and pool
tables.
J. H. Harris has the. most satisfactory
line of dress goods ever brought to Cor
v,liis anl the demaud for them is great
Stock all up to date. :, q,.r-.
E. p. Greffoz's jewelr;- store carries
useful articles and novelties in silver
and other ware. Rings for all occasions
and all people. Watch cleaning and re-
pairing speciality.
The latest magazines at Gearhard's.
Stationery aad school books a speciality.
The leaAiag dailies and other periodicals.
Hodes & Hall feast the hungry. Their
coffee has a mighty reputation and their
dining halls are crowded daily.