The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1898-06-18

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NdN-Dui 4 WIS Ah0 49,
Truth.
Ada-Jack says he wouldn't marry
the incest girl living. Dolly-Pshaw'
As II I'd have him.-Philadelphla North
American
Might Be Gratihed.-He-What Is ne
singing? She-"Let Me Like a Soldier
Fall" He-If | only had a gun.-Pick-
Me-Up.
Bill-I'm the greatest hand for dream.
Ing fish stories. Jill-Thats probably
what makes you lie awake so MUCH
Synkers Statesman.
81 was in an elevator once that fell
fifteen stories to the basement Dear
me; how did 1t feelf' Il never was
so taken down in my llfe."-Truth.
Customer-Is this what you call a
strong cup of coffee? Walter-Yes,
sure. You could hardly break one OF
dem cups wit a ax.-Indianapolis Jour
nal.
you must be crazy" "Must?' THAI
Is the word. If you won't be insane
continued the lawyer for the defense,
II see no way of saving your neck."-
indianapolis Journal.
"While Miss Fltz was away George
took her parrot" anything happenY'
81 don't know; she keeps the parrot
down cellar, and the engagement Is
of."-Love and Folly.
In the Asylum-First Patient (scorn-
fully)-Go on You have wheels III
your head. Second Patient proudly
OF course | have! And they're chain
less wheels at ~that!-Puck.
Sunday School Teacher (reading to
class)-And some fell by the wayside.
Tommy becoming suddenly Interested
Il didn't know they rode bikes in those
days.-Yonkers Statesman.
Harry-Darling, l I'm unworthy OF
you. Mabel-0h, Harry, If yon and
papa agreed on every other point as
we'll as you do on that how happy we
should be!-Illustrated Bits.
"Would 1t be right to call n house
mover a shopllfter?' asked the ambl-
tious boodler. Hardly" said Asbury
Peppers. "He is apt to be z house.
breaker, though."-Cincinnati Enqu!r'
er.
Advantages of a College Education. =
She (who has Just "come out)-NhIt
does "Quo Vadis" mean? He famous
halfback, '9T-"What are you giving
usf' or something like that.-Brook-
Ign Life.
Lady Guest Ito hostessl-Really |
couldn't eat another hot roll, dear. /
don't know how many I've had already!
Freddy (sittlng opposite)-I do; you've
eaten eight! I've been counting.-Bos
ton Globe.
The Dun hope you ont be offend.
ed II | remind you that we are very
much in need of the money! The
Dunned-Not at all. IL anybody's 20
ing TO be offended, it is yourself.--B os-
ton Transcript.
Billy Blink (boxing Instructor Great
Scott! That was an ''outer" yon gave
me. But WHAT that in yonr glove, l
say? Amateur Dust Harrington,
that's a horseshoe-I put 1t there for
luck.-Tit-Bits
Teacher-You are painfully slow
with figures, Tommy. Come. nov,
speak up quickly. If your father gave
your mother a $50 bill and a $50 Bill,
what would she have? Tommy-A 1T.
-Harper's Bazaar.
Foxey-Did you send the Borems a
card for your musical? Mrs. Foyey--
Yes; how could | get out of Il. Foxcy
Well, I'll tell Borem that Smith Is go
ing to come. Borem owe him money.
Philadelphia Record.
Wallace-Funny how women give up
their piano playing and singing as soon
as they get married. FerTy-Bdt they
don't. That is just a canard started by
some woman to encourage matrimony.
Cincinnati Enquirer.
Judge-The officer says you were
drunk and disorderly. What have you
to say for yourself? The Culprit--
Drunk, perhaps. your honor, but not
disorderly. A drunk is always in order
with me.IIndianapolis Journal.
"Do you really mean to stand by
what you say about retiring from pub
lie llfeg' inquired the Intimate friend
just before an election. How do ]
know p responded the politician. I'm
no prophet."-Washingto Star.
II trust she said, patronizingly,
shat you are n true artist-that you
confne your efforts to an elevated
plane" .'Assuredly, l do, madam
was the reply. Il am a frescoer and in
variably work with a ladder ."-Wash
ington Star.
In Virginia. reck'n 20 all aln'i
got no good slid small hams, is yoY'
asked Uncle Rastus. How do yor
know we ain't;' asked the grocery
clerk. Il didn't say 20 amt said I'm
Gle Rastus, Il lone axed is yoY"-Chi
cago News.
Hell wonder what the meaning ol
that picture is? The youth and th'
maiden are in a tender attitude? She
oh, don't you see? He has just ASH
ed her to marry him. and she is az
cepting him. How sweet, What doe
the artist call the picture? He hookln:
about)-Oh, / see, Its written on
card at the bottom. "Sold."-Tit-Bits.
Young man. said the Senator to thu
reporter, you have one me lrrepara
BILE HARM What have ] doneY' ask
ed the bewildered reporter. II got II
largely on a temperance platform. n
you may recollect.' Yes, SIR" AN,
you speak of me in this mornings pa
per as drinking my coffee with gustO
1t viii take me more than a life-tim,
IN rot n auf nf tho haads or ,n. .on