The Madison daily leader. [volume] (Madison, S.D.) 1890-current, 1898-01-11
HE PLAYED BARBER.
SHAVED A DEAD MOONSHlNER, AND
THERE WAS NO "NExT."
The Job rendered. With Some Emphasis,
by Friends Of the Deceased-The Trav-
cling Man Accepted, but Now Sells
Over Another Route.

by Friends OF the Deceased-The Trav.
cling Man Accepted, but Now Sells
Over Another Route.
at was in Tennessee, - said the trav-
cling man, lit happened, on one of
those back country roads which I was
travelling on my way to a town where I
had a fine list Of Gu stomers. The night
was closing in, and l was wondering
how long it would take me to reach q
place where l could spend the night. I
knew that l was among the moonShin-
ers, for the jug on a stump with the
money under it was in evidence along
the road. 1 had no thought of being
molested in that country, where the
only warfare is against the revenue
officers, and no one would have suspect
ed me of completely with the govern
ment.
"A slight noise startled my horse,
and l leaned out of the buggy to look
into the chamber of a revolver. At the
same time l saw two figures, one on
each side Of me, and, checking my
horse, l tried to assume a bravado I
was far from feeling as l asked:
"'Well, gentlemen, what is your will
with me:'
lyon can imagine my surprise when
a boyish voice asked:
kin you shave yourself?
II answered that l always shaved
myself. Without lowering his revolver
be looked across me to his pal on the
other side.
"'He II will do, Jim. Hop in All
III lead the horse
Having made up my mind not to be
dragged off in any such ignominious
manner. l said:
IF you are going to shoot me, I
suppose l must give up my life, as I am
unarmed. If it is money you want, r.
Tell him, jim said the one who
was leading my horse.
Yer won't be killed nor robbed nor
nothin, If yer don't try ter give US the
slip. Shet your mouth now, mister, an
you'll know more right soon.'
I've must have gone a mile before
we came to a turn in the road that
brought US out in front of a cabin much
larger than any | had seen that day in
my travel. 4 woman stood at the door
crying.
Hey Yer foun somebody, boys?' she
asked anXiously.
Yep, MORN. an he'll do the job up
slick 'thout askin much pay
II wondered if l was to be compelled
to murder some one. The bows were
beardless mountain loafers-I had met
their type often, but l never knew them
to be desperadoes.
Il was shown into the cabin bv the
woman, one of the boys following with
the revolver, while the other waited to
fasten the horse to a scrub oak. | saw a
figure stretched on a settle, and the idea
flashed into my mind that l was mis-
taken for a doctor.
- am not a medical man. began
to explain, when the woman cut me
short.
You uns nd a been teE late eff
you uns was a doctor. He passed outen
afore daylight, an it's mother kind Of
Job we wanter hev done. Yer see. we
uns Is a goln tew hev the biggest fun'rel
evan was IN these yeah pants, an we
wanter hev the ole man shaved fob the
fust time, an there amt a man no.
where arOun as shaves hisself CT emmy
body else
The rerulsirn of feeling which came
over me was not altogether pleasurable,
for | did not fancy the idea Of PLAYING
barber TO a dead man, but when Hooked
at the cadaverous co~untenance and
tangled gray beard of the deceased ! felt
a sort Of professional pride in making
him look more like a mortal being and
less like a wolf. | had alwavs been an
~abstainer from strong drink, but l filed
up on crude spirits that would have
killed me on an ordinary occasion and
tackled my silent customer with a fe.
verlsh and hysterical alacritv. This was
IN part due TO the close proximity Of
the two boys and their revolyers. Bat
as soon as | had the old mountaineer
shaved the reyOlvers were laid aside and
was treated with the utmost hospi-
tallty. The work itself had not been
half as gruesome as l had imagined,
u | had TO fight a ludicrous tempta-
ton to pour barber talk into the deaf
ears. He was such an improvement over
himself when aliye-as | judged by the
family llngO-that | wanted to ask him
to lock IN a mirror. l declined the fee
rendered me by the boy Jim, and, sup
plled with a jug of moonshine whisky,
l was set IL the right road and per
mltted TO leave.
Il found 1t r u that in all that com
munlty not a man had ever been shaved,
and II was only in Difference to a whim
OF the old mountaineer, expressed Oh
his deathbe that he was made such a
curious exception. l did not mention
my part in the transaction until | was
far beyond that county line, for l was
not sure that, a precedent being set,
they might not again demand my serv-
ices, and another salesman has that
route. '-Chicago Times-Herald.