davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The St. Johns herald., 1898-02-26
Wanted 8 Life Term.

A young mau in the treasury depart ment who took an examination recent ly for promotion ran up against curi- Ous question, but he was equal to the occasion, and his ready reply will doubt less stand him in good stead when his average is made up. The question asked was this:
 "How long do you expect to remain in the civil service?'
 Until death do us part, was the reply, unhesitatingly written down
The St. Johns herald., 1898-02-26

In buttermaking, how far can the COW be from the churn? Certain New Zealand dairy farmers have given a practical answer to the question. They have made a successful experimental shipment of frozen cream to London, where 1t was churned, and the fresh butter was put on the market. A com Dany Is forming to carry out the idea on a large scale.
The St. Johns herald., 1898-02-26

The fact that thirty tsardine"' canner- ies in Maine have closed, because of the scarcity of herrings, again suggests to the average consumer the question of whether he would know a.real sar- dine if he should see one.
The St. Johns herald., 1898-02-26

A striking illustration of one of the changes that have taken place in this country Is the fact that posse of Cheyenne Indians has been trailing a band Of white train robbers in the West. Probably the red men have Overtaken the paleface outlaws by this time and caused them to meditate on the sometimes queer reversal of situa- tions through the advancement of civil iZatiOu
The St. Johns herald., 1898-02-26

It Is now explained that the German Emperor treated the Haytians so harshly because he wanted to teach them some manners. The thorough ness of the instruction is beyond ques- ton, but in Port au Prince the opinion prevails that the tuition fee was out landishly high.
The St. Johns herald., 1898-02-26

President Stryker, of Hamilton Col Iege, in a recent address, threw out a hint that is worthy of consideration by those who are prone to excessive pride in circumstances of birth. We ought" he said, ito think more of what our an cestors would think of us than of what we think of them"
The St. Johns herald., 1898-02-26
The Chinese Idea.

Miss Fisher went into magnificent Chinese home in Teluk Aver one day and after talking with the head of the house for some time suggested that he send his girls to her school. "Oh, no, no, was the answer; i've do not wish our girls to learn to read and write. If they know how to do this, they will get husbands for themselves and dis obey uS "
The St. Johns herald., 1898-02-26

The old Arabian tales, of mischief done by evil spirits that had been con fined in jars and vials, are full of mean ing yet. A party of hoodlums in Windsor, Nova Scotia, released the demon imprisoned in a bottle of whis- ky. Result: Half a town destroyed by fire, and 5000 persons made home less
The St. Johns herald., 1898-02-26

A medical authority asserts that 'so long as scOrcher breathes through his nose Instead of his mouth there is no danger" But how is a pedestrian to know when a scorcher bears down in his direction at top speed whether the fellow is breathing through his nose or nOf2
The St. Johns herald., 1898-02-26

Rev. Sam Small has decided, ,thattciv- ilization is a failure, but fails to Say what he proposes to do about it. .Un- less he means to act, it would perhaps have been just as well to let us go lon thinking that we were the people, and that civilization is the best thing lgO- ing. These iconoclasts ought to be run in
The St. Johns herald., 1898-02-26

In England every prisoner istguaran- teed the right ito communicate with ais solicitor before trial" A fman re- gently arrested in London forfa felony gan neither read nor write and is dumb. Can he be convicted legally?
The St. Johns herald., 1898-02-26
At the Foot.

T hope they don't give my little boy any naughty nicknames In school"
 Yes, ma, they call me Corns.'"
 How dreadful! And why do they call you that?
 "Cause in our class, you know, I'm always at the foot."-Detrodt Fres Press.
The St. Johns herald., 1898-02-26

"A woman" said Euripides, should be good for everything at home, but abroad good for nothing" The unbai- anced women who make a practice or attending murder trials satisfy at least one of these requirements.
The St. Johns herald., 1898-02-26

Three hundred Western towns are said to be under the curfew law. And yet, by the time they're men and wom- en the boys and girls affected will be melting the bell into latchkeys all the copnQ
The St. Johns herald., 1898-02-26

dist E pis cOpal church at Brandy wine, Del. In pre- senting the medal lion Mir. Bayard said of Wesley: "SO remarkable a man cannot be spoken of without refer ence to the faith he h a d in civilized
The St. Johns herald., 1898-02-26
Pointed.

"Isn't your father of rather a retir- ing dispositions" asked the young man caller whose chief weakness is to stay late.
 "Yes," she answered demurely, "he retires at 10 and insists that the house be closed within half an hour of that time. "-Detroit Free Press.
The St. Johns herald., 1898-02-26

Gold may become drug on the mar ket; yet nobody is offering a premium for bonds payable n;sole-leather. Thus ever man rushes heedlessly upon his fate.
The St. Johns herald., 1898-02-26

A California court has ruled that a wife can be compelled to support her husband by labor. Woman in the far West, it seems, already has secured more than equal rights.
The St. Johns herald., 1898-02-26

Every now and then a European country steps forward and makes it clear that 1t will not stand much provo cation from any country except Tur- key.
The St. Johns herald., 1898-02-26

Keely. of motor fame is working on a flying machine now. Mir. KeeIy has been very successful in making other peoples money fly.
The St. Johns herald., 1898-02-26

After stripping Cuba of happiness and almost of people Spain, now wants to throw over it the cloak of political amnesty.
The St. Johns herald., 1898-02-26

Prof. de Morgan asserts that Adam was Chinaman. Did he get the queue to that discovery in the Biblical ac- count of creation?
The St. Johns herald., 1898-02-26

Germany has taken the cue to go ahead in China while the cue of that pnprogressive country is to hang be- hind.
The St. Johns herald., 1898-02-26

Thomas A. Edison, Jr., istdevelOping skill as an inventor of devices to utilize electricity. So much the better for the world.
The St. Johns herald., 1898-02-26
MEDALLION OF WESLEY.

EX.AmbassadOr Bayard Presents It to
 Delaware Methodist Church..
 Former Ambassador Bayard has giv- en a cameo medallion of John Wesley, founder of MethodSm, to the Metho-
The St. Johns herald., 1898-02-26

The dual monarchy, Austria-Hun- gary, is passing through a parliament eary and constitutional crisis of a se- Esous character. There exists between
The St. Johns herald., 1898-02-26
Characterised.

"Confound that caddie, he's never round except at the tee!''
 ''Sort of a tea caddie, eh?'-Brook- lyn Life.
The St. Johns herald., 1898-02-26

So far as wheat represents the farm CTS grasp of the blow, he is still big shareholder in the country's wealth.
The St. Johns herald., 1898-02-26
TOPICS OF THE TIMES.
A CHOICE SELECTION OF INTER-
 ESTING ITEMS.

Comments and Criticisms Based Upon the Happenings of the Day-His- torica1 and News Notes,
 Alaska is the land of gold and cold. Which will pan out bigger remains to be decided.
The St. Johns herald., 1898-02-26
PUBLISHED EVERY SATURDAY

They may fight against Santa Claus, but this is a yarn that will never be Rorsted.
The St. Johns herald., 1898-02-26
A Freeze.

"I don't quite catch the drift of your remarks" said the girl who willfully misunderstood.
 "I think 1 do of yours, said the young man who had been trying to pro- pose. Ut is something in the nature of 6 mowdrift. "-Cincinnati Enquirer.
The St. Johns herald., 1898-02-26
L- tE

Lucky T see Plimley wife has a new seal skin coat"
 "Yes, he's had a streak of luck" "How was that?a "Got his thunsb smashed the day af- ter he took out an accident policy for $50 week."-Cleyeland Leader.
The St. Johns herald., 1898-02-26

A device has been invented to black shoes by electricity. Possibly some adaptation of the Brush system.
The St. Johns herald., 1898-02-26

A frost is generally dew before it comes.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1898-05-12

IN his admirable address at OakWooo
Memorial on Tuesday last, Rev Dr. W.
A. Barr, making reference to The Lost
cause" said that mo cause is ever iosI
that has in it integrity Of purpose and an
honest conviction OF the right.
This is peculiarly true Of the Coniede-
rate cause. We did not win all that we
fought for. We did not establish the
Southern Confederacy, but that endeaVor
MAS % mere incident of the war. The
South did not go to war in any spirit
primarily. 10 set up a government Of its
own. It was not averse to the Union ana
II did not decide TO retire until 1t ielt
convinced that the governments was IN
frnging upon the rights OF the states
and that the States could not enjoy their
constitutional rights under the Federal
government.
II was not therefore, We say. for inde-
pendent government that the South
fought. but for the great American prin-
cipal of sovereign statehood. In this re-
spect the war between the States was
perhaps. without a parallel. There had
been wars OF conquest, wars for revenge
wars for glory and fame, wars for liber-
~ and for various other objects, and
now this country is waging war for
humanity. But we believe that never in
the history OF the world was there a war
so distinctly and so entirely in defense
OF 2 great principle as that which the
Southern Confederacy waged against the
United states government.
IL is not lost cause. No cause 10 ever
lost whose motive is principle. The North
was a long time in understanding us.
The people Of the North have had It in
their heads that the South went to war
simply because 1t wished TO disrupt the
Union and set UP a government Of ils
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1898-05-12
WHO PAYS THE TAXES 8?

We have time and again called atten-
ton TO the effort that has been made by
d certain class Of people to force the rich
men Of the country TO pay the cost Of the
war with Spain. and these efforts have
taken on all sorts Of phases.
one proposition is to tax incomes over
$1,000 a year; another TO levy a special
tax upon corporations. All such meas
ures are popular because there are COM
parativeiy few persons who have an In
come of more than $1,000 year. and
comparatively few persons who are d.
rectly interested in corporations.
These measures would not be so popular
however, if tho people would only stop
TO consider that this tax after ALL no
matter how it is levied, will undoubtedly
be paid, in part at least, by the poor
man.
Let us look bit into this matter
Some poor men have an idea that they
are not concerned about the subject OF
taxation because they happen TO live IN
q rented house and own no property
which the tax-gatherer can get st But
does the man who lives in a rented house
escape taxation? Not a bit of it. The
man who WINS the house settles the bill
with the state and the city, but the
man who NAYS the rent IS the man who
NAYS the tax. The tax is always added
to the rent and you can depend upon IT,
Now 20 a step farther. Those men
who have incomes of $4,000 and more are
owners Of property, real estate and oth-
ervlse. and they are generally smart
enourb TO take into consideration the
question Of taxes i'm fixing their charges
with those who do business with theh'
II ia pretty safe to calculate that II
discriminating tax is levied on incomes
the rich men upon whom such discrim-
mating tax IS levied is going to make
somebody else help to pay the bill.
And now as to corporations. Who pays
the tax? The stockholders? Not at all
The tax is charged up to expense Just
as labor and material are charged ana
those who patronize the corporations pay
1t.
The protectionists tell Us that the ior-
eigner pays the tariff tax, but the Amer
lean public have found out that the tax
comes eventually out Of the pocket oil
the consumer. The American people are
a great power and they can do every
thing that any other people can do but
they cannot accomplish the Impossible
They cannot change economic laws no
more than they can change the laws OF
nature. They cannot make a dollar out
~ fftv cents worth Of material They
cannot levy a tax on foreign goods and
vet buy those goods as cheaply as il
there were no tax. They cannot levy
an internal tax on any one class OF ci'-
1ens without making all classes Of citl-
2ens bear their part of the burden. The
honest way is the simplest and the best
WAY. Every man must bear his part
or the public burden and all taxes should
II. levied with that end in view. IL
simplv complicated matters and causes
confusion TO try any other plan and with
an. benefit to the class which SUCH dis
criination would protect.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1898-05-12

For long time past the farmers nave
had the impression that Wall street spec
ulators were responsible for the low
price of farm products and for that rea-
son there have been from time to time
numerous attempts 10 prevent specula-
tors from dealing in such products.
1t is now said, however, that Mr..
Joseph Letter is responsible for the high
price of wheat. and that he has by his
speculations not only lined his own pock-
cts, but put at least Sl5o.OO,OoO into the
pockets Of the farmers who had wheat
to sell. This. to say nothing Of the In
crease in the price OF corn, oats and
other grain. which went up in sympathy
with wheat.
So far as we have seen there has been
no protest on the part Of the farmers
against Mr.. Letters wheat deal The
farmers will learn after while that st IS
better to let business have its own way
and to hamper it as little as possible
with restrictive legislation.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1898-05-12

Of his affairs. lie was stiff-necied and
obdurate 10 a degree. At any rate, that
Is what his friends say. He discovered
after a while that the members OF his
congregation knew all about his personal
affairs. They exulted, when in CONVEX
sation with him. In dropping hints about
the things which he had undertaken 70
conceal from them He suspected ms
wife OF underhand dealings with the
enemy.
one summers day no disappeared. Mrs.
Aston herself did not know whittier he
had gone. Rumors OF high crimes ana
misdemeanors filled the peaceful streets
OF Windsor Terrace; the preacher was
gone from Monday to Saturday. When
ne returned a solemn committee waited
on him and asked questions. He return
ed evasive answers. The committee was
retiring I'm more solemn mood than ever
when he casually announced that he mad
spent the week at the Sing Sing camp
meeting praying for pryins and inquisi-
tive sinners
The congregation ragged. Before II had
simply been grieved and concerned In
the friction the payment OF the pastors
salary had been overlooked. lie was
quick TO seize this strategic advantage
woo Is me-" he said. II have not
Eherewith 60 pay my rent. But / viii
not defraud my landlord. ]. at least, am
an honest man. viii move from the
habitation of man TO the house OF God.
He took himself, his goods and chat
tells 90 the church gallery, which he cur
tanned off. 1t is declared that Mrs. Aston
called him "a white-whiskered old fooF
and declined to follow him. He heard her
decision with meekness. The church was
not altogether a pleasant place for him.
The janitor, having a wife, sided with
the congregation. He moved out and
took a room somewhere in the more
thlcl<ly populated part OF Brooklyn. lie
didn't tell where. lie went to the church
every Sunday to preach. Sometimes
there were six persons present. On pleas
ant Sunday evenings bicyclsts. acquaint-
ed with the pastors troubles through the
newspapers, sometimes increased his au-
dience to ten or twelve Thus ended the
summer Of 1897. The recent vote Of the
conference would seem 10 show that the
breach between him and his wife has not
been healed.-New York sun.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1898-05-12

short OF stamps In consequence OF a
mistake on the part Of the clerk outside.
This happened twice 10 me. hut am
bound 10 say the individual discovered
and rcctlncd his error. 30 that my only
loss was OF about thirty-hve minutes
more.
But tho most curious thing OF all Is the
process OF recovering your money IL the
telegram be suppressed. There Is no way
OF obtaining Il speedily You must wait
Messages OF mlno 10 tho value OF several
hundred posctas were stopped. and | call
ed at the office for the money, In Rus
STA. Germany. Turkey, AustTia-every-
where IN fact-tho money paid is refund
cd at once. But not so in Spain. Here
you have TO make various pilgrimases.
from post 20 pillar. interviewing officials
dignitaries. clerks. porters. All shake
their heads. shrug their shoulders, purse
their lips and assure you that the govern
ment allows them no special funds for
the purpose. Yes. but II YOU do not for
ward my message, FOR which I paid you
I'm advance. YOU have no right 10 keep my
money oh, no! Of course not. We are
not 10 blame. you know. You had better
see our chief lie IS very busy now hut
II YOU call tomorrow I am sure you can
see him. / spent four days Journeying
from chief to subordinate and from sub
ordinate 20 chief and at last / received
the following satisfactory promise; III you
will write a petition 10 the chief or the
telegram. asking that the money be re-
funded YOU for the suppressed messages,
he will deal with II in due time. what
is due timer 7 ventured to inquire. Neil'
We cannot promise anything said my in
formant. Senior Perez. except that. when
the funds allow it, you shall have your
money back But could you, perhaps.
saw approximately when?' lie could not,
but another official could and did-Any
time between two and four months!
such Is a specimen--a tame, humdrum
spocimen-of the methods of procedure
i'm the constitutional kingdom of Spain,
under the most liberal Of liberal govern
ments. in the cultured capital OF Madrid.
What takes place In the provinces and
what took place in Cuba we cannot anirm
with certainty but here the old proverb
undoubtedly holds good: II they do these
things in a green tree what shall be done
I'm the dry? Spain has truly fallen upon
evil days"
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1898-05-12
The Reporters Blunder.

"Here!" said the city editor to the new
reporter. There's something wrong
about this story of the murder
''What il it2" the new man asked.
"I don't know what it is. but there's
something the matter with It. I've read
it through twice and can't make II
out"
Il said the murderer struck the deadly
blow with some blunt instrument didn't
L."
yes: that's here all right"
Didn't l say there were evidences OF
deadly struggleY'
Yes you've got that in three times
"Well. / can't imagine what it Is that
I've omitted. L remember saying that
the murderer stole upon his victim Ike
a cat approaches a mouse so that can
be what you've missed"
The city editor scratched his head and
took another hasty glance at the copy
by Jove! he exclaimed. I've got IT,
You didn't say he was felled Ike an
OK"
Then the new reporter slung away
knowing that he had committed a blum
der which could be offset only by years
of good work.-Cleveland Leader.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1898-05-12
PASTOR ASTONS EXPULSION.
Troubles of Preacher Who Kept His
Own Affairs TO Himself

II is some time since the Rev. Henry
Aston committed the acts or technical
immortality for which he has been eX-
pelled from the New York East Metho-
dist Conference. The immortality, accord
ing TO the conferences decision. con-
sisted in unchristian conduct toward MS
wife.
The Rev. Mr.. Aston was at the time
his troubles began pastor OF the Windsor
Terrace Methodist church. Windsor
Terrace is a small community forming
mart OF suburban Brooklyn. lie had
not been pastor there very long before
his troubles began. According to his
friends. ne showed a desire 10 keep MS
own AFFAIRS TO himself The women OF
his congregation tried by gentle and un-
Intrusive devices TO unbend his attitude
OF exclusiveness and to show him that
n was only just and reasonable that they
should have full and detailed knowledge
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1898-05-12
MUNICIPAL OPERATION.

Our esteemed contemporary. the Nor
folk yirginian and Pilot. pays US the
compliment of reproducing a recent ar
,icle in these columns on municipal ops
ration Of public utilities. We are dis
apoited. however. that our contemporary
does not go into the subject and give
us the benefit Of his Views.
The Virginian and Pilot simply replies
that "this proposition OF greater misman-
agement and dishonesty in public bust
mss rather than I'm private business or in
public business conhded TO private con-
troll. is a nero myth And we reply
that what our contemporary says Is a
mere assertion.
II almost invariably happens that II
costs the government more TO do a given
work than it costs an individual, for the
reason, as we have said, that there IS
always an element Of politics in the ope-
ration of public works. Socialists fire.
ouently refer TO the Postoffice Depart
ment OF the Government as an illustra-
ton of how vii such functions can be
performed by the Government. But it is
conceded that the postal business could
be done under the direction Of the Govern
ment by a private corporation at an i'm
mense profit to the corporation and at a
very much smaller cost.
But apart from all this there is great
underlying principle. 1t IS the patronage
that the Government dispenses that is re-
sponsible more than anything for corrupt
politics, and the less patronage the Gov
eminent has to dispense the better and
purer will be the conduct Of the public
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1898-05-12

own. But they arc learning better Their
ewes were already beginning TO open
when this war with Spain was begun
Now they SEQ that tho South Is as devot-
ed as any other section TO the Stars and
STRIPES. and is as essentially as any other
section a part and parcel of the great
federation of states. Now they are be-
ginning TO understand tho principle for
which the South fought.
Nor was that war in vain. It was wag-
ed at great sacrifice OF noble life. but
the country IS stronger and better for H.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1898-05-12
Patriotic SWindling.

Grocer's Clerk-"We're not selling any
OF these Spanish olives. The people
won't have EN-"
Grocer (after considering the natter
"Wel, 81 will not do 10 change the label
10 American olives because II wouldn't
be honest. And, besides, we'd nave 10
sell them cheaper. Label them 'Castllan.
olives. Jacobs, and mark them up hVe
cents a bottle"-Crcago Tribune.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1898-05-12
offered to Sell His Body for $50.

Gorge Kraft. a tailor, living at 1863
Second avenue went 10 Bellevue Hospi-
tai Yesterday and offered 20 sell his body
to the doctors for so. He said that he
had an insurance policy for $50 In the
Prudential Insurance Company
III you'll give me $50 now said he,
"Vu 90 out and enjoy myself for a couple
of months and then I'll come back and
YOU can kin me and keep my body You
can collect the insurance money TOO.
/ just want 10 have a good time before l
die"
DR.. Robertson said that he would con-
slider the offer. and I'm the meantime had
Kraft committed 10 the insane pavilion
New York sun.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1898-05-12
The Virginia Volunteer.

Whether cOuntry's right or wrong,
"Dlxie Land" VIII be their song
When they meet old Spain;
And the Spaniards. we opine
VIII regret they laid the mine
That blew up the Maine.
Spain is playing a losing game
Since Dewey won immortal fame,
To us 10 doth appear,
So BlanCo had better get a hump,
Ere Uncle Samuel plays his trump
The Virginia Volunteer.
Old Vlrginia's in the van.
Headed by that gallant man,
Brave old FitZhugh Lee;
And from the ramplrts of Havana
Proudly will float our starry banner
E'''''' '" W. IT. w. J.