Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1898-02-03
Sir ToDy's Church.
AN.cO~O~-~-~
BY OPIE READ.
CEVERAL times within the memory

CEVERAL times within the memory
~ of men not yet old have troops of
state militia been sent into Light
county to put down the spirit of vio-
lent insurrection. Once the Light
horns objected to Matt Proctor, who
had been elected sheriff, and stormed
his office with sledge-hammer and gun;
and on another occasion the commu-
nifty arose to mob surveyor employed
to sight line for a railway. Upon
the whole, and without hating to give
instances, Light county was pre-
cinct of outlawry and moral darkness.
Years ago an old log church stood near
the roadside at Blue Springs, not far
from the geographical and iniquitous
center of the county. And why in
iquitous center, with a Church at
hand? The egg of much devilment
had been laid and Matched in that old
church, at the dead of night, while the
1aw-abiding citizen of the county was
sound asleep with his pistol under his
head. One night rough dance was
given therein. 1t was mastered by
the Lighthorn boys, and the law was
afraid to open its mouth in objection,
though it was a disgrace and an out
rage upon those who believed in the
Lord. The dance was at its height,
and Abe Lighthorn was cutting high
capers with Betty Sewers, when in
stepped old man Dagley, deacon of the
church. In his arms he carried
bundle of split wood and q wisp of
hay. He put his burden into a corner
and began to pile bench-legs and pieces
of board about it.
''What are you goin to do?" Abe
Lighthorn asked, leaving off his high
capers.
"Oh," the old man answered, look
ing up with smile as sharp as
crack in frozen goud: 81 thought
I'd warm things up little. looked
in as / was passin' an I lowed it
must be sorter chilly in here; and /
don't want the young folks to catch
cold. The futur' hope of the commu-
nifty is in bad box when the young
folks are ailin'." He struck match
and held it to the hay.
"Look out here. you old fool!"
Lighthorn cried, attempting to stamp
out the mounting blaze. The old
man showed him aside "This is my
house." said he, "and don't want you
to interfere with me. You are stronger
than l am, but my gun shoots just as
strong as yourn, an if you put out
this ere fire, we'll both be mighty apt
to use 'em. Step up. folks. if you are
chilly, an git warm. The stars are
all out an the moons full, an / be-
lieve we'll have sharp frost before
mornin'. Step up an git warm"
Lighthorn decided that it was best
to take things good-humoredly, so,
inviting his friends out, he permitted
the fire to burn; and in the light-nc
dim, religious light, but great glare
in the woods-the roughs and hoydens
danced till dawn fell upon the embers.
Another church was built, a small
house deep in the woods as if it were
hiding from the Lighthorns. But they
found it, but not to dance in, for il
was too small. 1t was not, however.
too small to have fun with, so they
amused themselves by frightening the
meek preacher. He ran away, and
the deacon had sore trouble in pro-
curing another man with nerve enough
to take the apostolic job. But finally
he found one.
In the Knob country was born boy
child, early evincing the strong trait
of bullheadedness. His mother had
read romance, and she called the boy
Sir Tony Brown. Sir Tony grew into
lusty lad, whipped boys older than
himself, snatched kisses from demuye
and. red-fushed maidens, and was pro-
nounced most promising youth. 1t
was agreed that it would be cruelty
to fatten him out on farm; he was
born for a profession. But prepara-
ton required money. Finally his
mother, widow by this time, decided
that he should preach the Gospel. lie
had powerful legs and neck like a
bronze Vulcan, but strength was needed
by the evangelist. He bent his bull
neck to study, for in preaching the
youth saw an escape from manual Ia
Dor; and by the time he was well of
age, he was granted the privilege to
stand in the pulpit and groan at the sim
cursed world. His enemies respected
him, for he was convincing boxer, and
his pistol shooting had been pre-
nounced a performance of wonderful
art. But he had put aside these pro-