The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1898-10-27
FUNNYGRAPHs.

The Sprangles have been boasting
long time about their horseless car
riage. It turns out to be only a baby
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES Transcript.
'GIorinda Eighty says she can play
whist better when she talks all the
time" "Of course; she makes the rest
of US play worse. Detroit Free Press
Uncle Beasley, are you going to
heaven?'' asked the little boy. Il 'spose
I'll have to, some day or other an
swered the old man--Cincinnati En-
quirer.
Teacher-''In this stanza, what Is
meant by the line The shades of night
were falling fast" Bright Scholar
THE people were pulling down the
A Family Secret Out.-"Teacher-Yo GU
don't know what hunt spells? What
does your father do when his collar but
ton is Iost?" Johnny (slyly)-"He says
things. The jewelers. Weekly.
Dogs and Women-"O, yes. she leads
him a dogs life" said the pretty young
woman. 'Fondles his nose and pinches
his ears, I suppose replied the man at
her side.-Cleveland Leader.
Asserting Himself-'I may be a hard
drinker," said Tapley with dignity, and
perhaps I show facial traces of it, but
III have you to know, sir, that am no
Cyrano de Bergerac. Philadelphia
North American.
The Boston Girl-"Were you out in
all that rain?" asked the Clifton girl.
NO" said the young woman from Bos-
ton. ST was merely in the portion of
the rain that descended in my immedi-
ate vicinity. "-Cincinnati Enquirer
s'There's always something happening
to worry mel" exclaimed the Chinese
emperor to the friend with whom he
was travelling incog. Whats the mat
ter now?'' THE rumor that I am alive
has been started again. Washington
Star.
Wit for the Occasion-Nora2"Ah Pat,
OF can't fond worruds to tell yez how
much OF am indebted to yez for this
lovely watch" Pat-'Sure. Nora an
it's mesilf that is in debt for it dape
enough for both av us!"-The jewelers.
Weekly.
''Wen, are you going to get it?'' was
asked of the rural statesman just back
from Washington, where he had been
with a view to securing an appointive
position. Don't think I am. That
there congressman of our'n was too
burned perlite to me."-Detroit Free
Press.
Gretson-"So you brought suit for
damages for injuries received in the
smashup. Did you ever get any thing?"
DOrSter-'I never received nything
for myself, but got enough out of the
y
ent circumstances for several years.
Boston Transcript.
His Sarcasm-Farmer Grout (sourly)
Them city relatives Of ourn pear to
believe my name is Misery" Mrs.
Grout-"Pshaw! What makes you git
off sech a foolish sayin' as that, Ly-
mAn?'' Farmer Grout-'It amt foolish
its sarcastic! I jedge they do by the
way they seem to think I love COM
pany."-Harper' Bazaar.
A soldier who entered Santiago with
Gen. Shafter tells this story in the New
Orleans Times-DemOcrat: "A few days
after the place was surrendered 1 went
into a small shop to get some tobacco.
The proprietor was a fat little chap, all
bows and smiles. Got any 'baccy?'
asked. Isl, Senor,' he said. Yes. sare;
YER fine tobac. Hot time in re OF town
tonight. Senor.' I took a paper of fine
cut and the fat rascal charged me 81.
When I made a modest kick at such
highway robbery he bumped up his
shoulders and spread out his hands.
Well SenOr,' he said, you mus re-
member those Maines'"