davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1898-07-27
Wasted.

A lad in one Of the London board
schools was found guilty Of serious in
fraction Of discipline aud was directed
by his teacher to tell his mother when
he got home what misdeneanor he had
committed.
The next morning the sehoolmistreas
called Johnnie to her desk. when the fol
lowing dialogue ensued
Well, Master Johnnie, did you in
form your mother what refraction Of
discipline you were guilty Of yesterday
and the reprimand and punishment you
received?'
"Yes'm, was tho sententiOus reply
Well, and what did your mother
say?"
"She said she'd like to wiring your
neck for you
No more discipline reports We're sent
home to that mother Pearson i
Weekly.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1898-07-27
DlSGUSTED FISHERMEN.
y Made Thorn Ill To See an old Time
Angler Catch Trout.

Ono day II Boston party. on fishing
trip to Moosohcad came across ono Of
the old school fishermen. He was up Off
the mouth Of Tomhcgan stream and
WAS fishing out of lumberlnan' y bat
teau II developed later that he was the
cook for crew of river drivers. On the
bank near at hand stood the cnotee, or
his helper. Tho cook had thrown about
peck Of table rcfuso into tho lako iii
order to "tole' the fish, and over that
lure he was having great luck. His pole
was Of the jib boom variety, and whom
fish bit he would derrick it over his
head into the bushes whore the coolseo
was stationed
Tho Boston men from their canoes
watched operations with all tho disgust
Of tho true sportsmcn
"Got enough for supper yeti" shout.
ed tho fisherman over his shoulder as
he set another great trout ilamping into
the bushes.
mo, better catch xix or eight more,
shrilled back the cookcc.
Say, how many fish do you two fol
lows usually eat for supper" shouted II
Boston man who didn't understand the
situation,
When you've cooked for - river
drivers rs long as | have, " yelled the
cook, derriekinR another fish, you II
know moro about empty nail kegs. "
Hardly was this cngmatic utterancc
out when there camo u tug ut his line
that was nothing short Of tremendous.
He twitched. The fish didn't come. lie
braced set his jaws and priod. His limo
only sawed the kissing water.
"pluy hint Play him" screamed
the excited sportHlncn from the city.
"Play your grandmother beloved
the cook. g amt hero to play I'm
here to fish And as he spoke he boost
ed over his head 3 pound lal,er- Any
man in tho Boston crowd would have
given $40 to have played him an hour
at the end Of an eight ounce rod. 'TwaH
too much for their nerves. They came
away. Lewiston journal.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1898-07-27

loss Of energy which leads finally to con-
sumption is not always very rapid, but II
il isn't stopped it will presently begin to
saw It's way into the most vital part of the
body the lungs. There would be very
little consumption il every family would
keep Or Picfce's Golden Medical Discov-
cry in the house, and use it whenever feel
ing "out of Sorts IL keeps the entire
body III such high condition of health
and forcefulness that wasting diseases have
no chance to get foot hold. A teaspoon
full or two before meals, in a little water,
gives the digestive organism power to as
simulate the blood making, nerve toning,
strength building properties of the food.
II enables the liver and excretory system
to clear the circulation of bilious poisons
and remove all waste matter from the body.
II replaces worn out tissue with hard mus
culaT flesh, and changes weakness and
debility into active power and nerve force.
The originator of this great Discovery
r. " Pierce NJ, D., is chief consulting
physician to the great Invalids Hotel and
Surgical Institute of Buffalo, n. Y, at the
head of staff of nearly score of eminent
associate physicians and surgeons. He has
acquired, i'll his over thirty years of active
practice, a reputation second TO no living
physician in the treatment of obstinate,
chronic diseases. His prescriptions must
not be COMPOUNDED with the numerous
boom remedies, extracts, com
pounds" and "sarsaparillas, which a
profit seeking druggist is often ready TO
urge as a substitute. DIR. Pierce's msdi-
cines are the product of wide experience
and deep study. Any one may consun
him by mail free of charge.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1898-07-27
TO A MAIDEN OF SIXTEEN.
l do not fondly ask from Won

do not tondly ask from you
The qualities of IA noble heart,
mind whose thoughts are pure and true.
A tongue that speeds no yenomed dart,
temper sweet or gentle mood,
Unseltshness or high endeaVor-
do not ask you to "be good.
Sweet maid, - or even To be ''cleveri"
do not ask for poets song,
For dreamer's tale, high gifts of mind.
For orators eloquence righting wrong
Gifts all, no doubt to you assigned:
| do not ask for theories new,
Ones powers of comprehension taSking
For wisdom or for wit from you
There would not be much use In asking).
do not ask you for the gift
All other gifts SO far above.
will be brave and make shift
To live my life without your love-
Not mine to play a lovers part.
So, though the omission is distressing,
do not ask you for your heart.
only ask minor blessing.
do not ask you when We meet
To condescend to notice me-
But when kind fate affords that treat
Pray bear in mind this modest plea,
do not ask you to sit still,
Though In your chair you always wriggle.
Ia have you d. whato'er you will.
only ask yoa-Eot TO gigglel
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1898-07-27
y WiNTRY LANDSCAPE.

Not summers self was ever half so fair
As tins white winter wrapped in ermino
fleece.
royul silence breeding everywhere
And all the world avoiceless dream of peaoo.
Amber and opal, fautest pearl and rose,
Grange and purple in tho sunset sky;
In fiery huos tho wide west flames and CLOVIS,
Nor fades till stars arc shining out ON high.
Ger stcd hlue lakes the sheen Is bright like
mail,
The trees IN naked beauty lit their limbs,
Tho wind Is hushcd that crst did sob and will.
SOFTER It's tenos than mothers cradle hymns.
Strange. stltut winter, fair beyond belirf,
White ROBBED and tutt and dreamy n4 the night.
NetEethns pain and care and joy and grief
Gfecps selemnly arare and shrouds the light.
-Harper's Ba8ur.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1898-07-27

English critics say that recently fate
gave evidence Of moro thnn usual intel
ligcnco i'll the Office Of Partisan jour
nal. The pnrisian editor saw London
critics appreciation of Anna Thibaud,
whose songs are M pointed and flowery
ms her rosebud slippers The Lon
doncr wrote that mademoiselle's feet
were incaaed in fairy boots" The pari-
sian set himself diligently To work with
his dictionary, and soon had il correct
ly translated, we presume, but when it
appeared in print, instead Of reading
that mademoiselle's feet were ineased
In "bottes dc fee, it said they were
incascd ia pots Aaurs' Glover pots).
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1898-07-27
auSr "where is Arthur

4 pause. where Is Arthur:
Il never trouble about Arthur, - she
replied quickly Tho is so wrapped up in
his books and studies that even here at
Monte Carlo I see very little of him. -
| was amused
You have nothing against Mrs Fair
fax" l suggested
Nothing whatever, she replied
frankly Il like her immensely. =
This helped matters Thought
You think she will make good
wife,"
Admirable" said Miss Nerney
calmly surveying the bay. Tier eN-
perience will I've invaluable. -"
l caught sight of couple that had
just appeared on the farther end Of tho
terrace,
You will come 10 tho wedding"
A slight tinge of color appeared on
Miss Nercy $ checks as she turned Ia
ME.
Has it reached that stage"
glanced at the couple and noticed
they were arm in arm.
Il believe 81.
There was slight pause. Miss Yer
ney played with tho tassel again.
"lhcn l suppose | must tender my
congratulations she said Mt length
4 believe it Ia customary among
friends, | replied, with II glance Mt
her. She had allowed her eyes To fall
ON the ground.
You know she is very wealthy?o |
added.
you have been most fortunate in
your endeHors. she replied in deliher-
alto tones. Il trust you'll BIZ very
happy
Tho couple We're nov opposite To
where We were sitting So engrossed
we're they in conversation that they
had not noticed Us. | felt an nntieipa-
tory shiyer of enjoyment
:" do not enter into the question. g"
said. Look -
She glanced up in surprise
"Arthur aud Mrs. Fairfax, F." she
Whispered.
He Is wrapped up in his studies
again, | remarked Il fancy he has
taken the lady eyes IA his subject 3"
Miss Nerney looked at me reproach
fully.
And you knew this all the time"
I'm afraid SO Arthur Conhded in
me some months ago in london and
have occasionally amused myself 10y
helping hint Take tho Melba night, for
instance.
Was that ON Arthur's behulfg9 sho
asked wonderingly.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1898-07-27
A PERFECT NEWSPAPER.

o publish ALL THE NEWS promptly aud
succinctly ana in the most readable form,
without elislou 81 partisan bias; To discuss
its significance with frankness, 10 Keep AN
OPEN EYE FOR PUBIC ABUSES. 10
give besides complete record of current
thought, faucics aud discoveries in all de-
partments Of human ACTIVITY in i(s DAILY
EDITIONS of frem 10 10 u PAGES and to
provide the Whole for its patrons al the
nominal price of ONE CEN1'-that was
from the outset, and viii eontnne 10 be
the aim of TIE RECORD
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1898-07-27
How to Make Money!

If You are out of employment and want
position, paying you from $50 to 300 monthly
clear above expenses by working regularly,
or, il you want to increase your present in
come from $500 to $500 yearly, by working at
odd times, write the GLOBE co. 723 Chestnut
II Phila Pa. stating age, whether married
or single, last or present employment, and you
can secure position with them by which you
can make more money easier and faster than
you ever made before IN your life. n.3,4-ly
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1898-07-27
THE CRYSTAL HOUR.

Amethyst, crimson and heryl,
A splendor of infinite sea.
In fathomlosS floods Of beauty and porll
From the deops of eternity.
With stately reverhcrant motion
And the breakers whislt and din.
Tho ceaselcss anthem Of turbulent ocean,
The surf comes rolling IN.
While dim in the distance hover
The sen birds white winged fleet
And exhausted waVos, their ecstasy ever.
Make ripple marils at our feet.
Soothed is the flush and the fever
of earthly passion and power,
And the rested heart shall treasure forever
The touch of tins crystal hour.
Mary H. Leonard in Independent.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1898-07-27

Pedagogue (seyerclyJ--Nuw sir, for
the last time, what the square Of the
hypotenuse Of right analrd triangle
equivalent tot
Boy tdeaperatelyJ-It equivalent to
Il lielin fer me, sir Go ahead - Lon
ton Fun.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1898-07-27

Blusher is the most bashful man
ever knew"
How on earth then did he come to
get marriedf''
S"He was too bashful to refuse. -
Boston Traveller
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1898-07-27
NJ GGETS' LUCK.

NUGGETS LUCK.
How the spruce looking stranger got
into the little old, dilnpidatcd town up
III tho Sierras mono of its inhabitants
appeared 60 know, hut most OF them
were extremely anxious to ascertain
Seldom 1t WAS that amy ono went to tho
town. Apparently there WAS no purticu-
lar reason why any one should Tho
surrounding scenery was grand, it III
true, hut tho town could mako no claim
To being nm essential part of the gram
| denr Its one street struggled up tho
mumtainsido fer short distance and
lost it's WY in thu forest. y long, ram.
shaclle ahotel, several Respondent
/ looking stores and number Of saloons
made up what II WIS pleased to call tho
business portion Of the town. en- all
sldes aud rs far as the eye could see,
however We're the imperiShahle evil
| doncos Of what this little town once had
heen-the coulter of natural wealth al
and yellow aud reddish clay, mountains
scanned and Rashea and cut in twain,
miles Of rusty and disiointod gigantic
iron pipes, told Of the days when tho
minors with hydraulic guns "hela up"
nature aud forced il to deliver its trens-
ire.
But all that Wis long ago and Is only
"A pleasant memory with the little town
now, and to the strangers not unnatu.
raj inquiry az To how tho people support
ed themselves camo tho cheerful and
eannihalistie reply that they lived on
ono another ~
The stranger alt on a hoA outside ono
ct tho stores beside one Of the citizens
and soon found himself listening 10 u
mHalogae offered for his entertain.
ment. ItWould hive hecn Dialogue be.
tween them, but tie entertainer would
nut have 1t that way. An old man, with
gri21lcd beard and weather beaten face,
WAS ho Tho stranger noticed, with
somo surprise. that. although Stained
and rusty his long frock coat and tho
trousers stuck into his boots were Of
good hroadcloth \ very conspicuous
watch chain, huge diamond pin in u
setting ot tobacco stained shirt front
md the entire absence Of collar mado
up somewhat homogeneous appearance
IS You feflFit began tho enter
a1iler staft'hB tho monoloSue with
worth # whoop Ia hcll today. but you
oughlcr seen itonet Anita forty miner
myself and you pol tomalse a good dead
of allowance for what some o. these old
has Deems tell You. but they all do say
it was II hummer before they stopped
hydraulerI,in.
"Yon oughtcr get old Nuggets to tell
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1898-07-27

Witness its mrvaied average daily eireua-
ton exceeding lG0sd0 copies. aud an aver
age exceeding isa,000 copies for its sunday
editions, while limitations al its plan Of
publication in every important city Of the
country testify to the truth of the asser-
ton that in the quantity aud quality Of it,
contents, and in the pl1ee at which II Is
sold The Record" has established the
standard by which excellence in journal
ism must he measured
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1898-07-27
The Daily Edition

A IHyins Rcnting.S Selling. Es Exchanging type
IN writers Of all kinds fuTbnsinoss family and
private usr Also buying aud exchanging Job and
add lots Of merchandise. lumber, machinery etc.
nd especially slow aud dead stock. Advise wants
a nd offerings Everything Is saatle somewhere
II. n. MANSFIELD.
2ij Broadway New York.
Nav % 1896
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1898-07-27
CHARLES A. STRAUSS,

Manufacturer Of
Marble and Granite Monuments, Head
stones, Enclosures, &c
NoRFH ENlOH STREET tNEAE cHuK,H
LAMBEKfvn.LE. y
Soy ., tss7-iy
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1898-07-27
Certificate of Reduction of the
Capital Stock of The J, II.
Butterfoss Canning Co.

The j II Butterfoss Canning Company a
corporation OF the State Of New Jersey, does
hereby certify that 1t has reduced its capital
stock from twenty thousand dollars to five
thousand dollars, by the surrender by each
.toekholder of his or her shares and the issue
to each stakeholder in place thereof of one
fourth of the number of shares thus surrend-
cred by him or her, said change having been
declared by resolution of the board of diree-
tors of said corporation TO be advisable and
having been duly and regularly assented to by
the vote of at least two thirds i'll interest of all
the stockholders, at meeting duly called by
the hoard Of directors for that purpose and il
IS further certified that the written assent OF
said stockholders is hereto appended.
In witness whereof the said Company has
herennto set its corporate seal and caused
TINS certificate to be signed by its president
and secretary, this twenty-trst day Of Febru-
airy eighteen hundred and ninety-eight.
A II BUTTERFOSS,
President
Attest
SARAH L BUFIERFoss,
Secretary
IL. 81
certificate of which the foregoing is
true copy, after having been duly proved by
the oath of the Secretary, was ON March 9,
isss together with the written assent OF SAID
stockholders annexed thereto filed in the
Office of the Secretary Of state Of New Jersey
March 10, 159s-St
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1898-05-27
IMPRESSIVE CEREMONIES.
Observation of Confederate Memo
riaI-Day at Newport News.

NEWPORT NEWS, VA, May &.-(Spe-
ciaI. while the Confederate Memorial
Day exercises this afternoon were not
conducted on the extensive scale OF
former years, they were impressive. The
programme began shortly after o'clock,
a brief Introductory address being made
by Commander Richardson. Captain w.
]. Storrs, of York county, was then in
troduced, and spoke eloquently for
twenty minutes as the representative Of
the Confederate veterans Professor
Dudley r. Cowles. principal of the Hamp-
ton Public Schools, spoke for the
Sons of Confederate Veterans, taking the
place of Mr.. Montague. who was unex-
pectedly called to Richmond this MORN
ing. Professor Cowles delivered an able
and interesting address.
The ceremonies closed with the march
to the cemeteries and the strewing Of
flowers on the graves of the Confederate
dead.
The organizations participating were r.
+. Lee Camp, Confederate Veterans,
j. w. Richardson. commander; Lee
Camp. Sons of Confederate Veterans, A.
r. Ransone commander; Knights Of
Pythias; school children, and Daughters
of the Confederacy.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1898-05-27
A War Song.

CNew York Mail and ExpressJ
To arms To arms. The eagle SCI
The bugle sounds the call
The roar of battles on the preehs'
Our gallant navy plows the seas
We're ready, one ana an
Spartan spirit fills the lana
And mounts upon the gaze. x,ao
Our flying squadrons furious rue
IInon the ocean deep and Wlue'
Surcharged with iron nan!
The Stars and Stripes our orIlia'n0'
The Maine our battle cry. aoa,b
Wen swift avenge our shlpnate uS"'"
Spain execrate at every DIe~'H'
And fight her till we die!
Wen arbitrate with cannon balls,
Teach rapine 10 refrain, -
O'erturn by force of arms tne WIohe'
In God our trust, in justice strong
Till liberty obtain
Well double-shot each believing gun
And tinge the oceans req,
Rain down upon SPANS Vaunteu meet
An avalanche of iron sleet,
And pave thei. decks with DEAD
AS bravely speed our gallant tars
Across the raging sea,
Well charge upon the spanish Hiain'
Annihilate the hordes of Spain,
And set poor Cuba free!
DAVID JAMES EVANS.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1898-05-27
DE CAREFUL.

Attention is directed to the fact that
Rhode Island is inclined to be dyspeptic
over this war. First the Captain-General
of the Plantation hesitated in an unsol-
dier-like way for several days before call
ing for volunteers, and then ii was weeks
before Rhode Island was ready with its
quota. Now the people of the State, or
more properly the Plantation, are aggra-
waited over the delay in backing Dewey
in the Philippines. and the Providence
Thunderer is giving the United States
Government Thunder on account of its
supineness in general. and its ''extraor-
binary blunder" in particular in not hav-
ing arms ready for the troops that have
beer called out.
This has caused representative journals
in other New England States to pitch
into Rhode Island pretty savagely. But
these Journals should be careful. They
should take counsel of Rhody's history. III
they exasperate the Plantation too far. 1t
may secede or get up rebellion or refuse
utterly to countenance the war. Then
what would become of this Union and
the cause of free Cuba?
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1898-05-27
GLADSTONE LYING IN STATE.
Seventy Five Thousand Persons
View the Remains.

LONDON, May Automatically i'm
pressive scenes have been witnessed at
Westminster since 2 o'clock this morn
ing, when the arrivals commenced Of
those anxious to view the remains of
MIR. Gladstone.
The line was continually augmented by
all classes of people. from peers, peer
esses, Cabinet Ministers, members Of the
House Of Commons, military and naval
officers and clergymen, TO costermongers,
old and young. until. at o'clock. when the
doors were opened, the procession COM
menced TO stream past the catafalque.
The latter had lighted candles at each
corner, and a large gilt cross at its head.
Sir William Vernon Harcourt. the Libe-
raj leader in the House OF Commons, who
arrived at noon. was greatly moved.
Two thousand policemen were engaged
in guiding the people. and by o'clock
this afternoon 1900 persons had passed
the coffin.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1898-05-27
YOUNG AT SIXTY.

Serene comfort and happiness In ad'
vanced years are realized by compare
lively few women.
Their hard lives, their liability to Sc
rious troubles on account of their pecu-
liar organism and their profound igno-
rance concerning themselves, all COM
bine to shorten the period ofusefuiness
and fill their later years with sui1ering'
Mrs. Pinkham has done much to make
women strong. She has given advice
to many that has shown them how ~
Guard against disease and retain vigor-
Gus health in old age. Fromevery cor
ner of the earth there Is constantly COM
ING the most convincing statements
from women, showing the efficacy OF
lydia f. Pinkham's Vegetable Com
pound in overcoming female ills. Here
is letter from Mrs. j. c. Orms, OF 22o
Horner ST., Johnstown, Pa, which Is
earnest and straight to the point:
"DEAR Mrs. PINKBAM:-I feel it my
duty to tell all suffering women that
think your remedies are wonderful.
had trouble with my head, dizzy spells
and hot flashes. Feet and hands were
cold, was very nervous, could not sleep
well, had kidney trouble, pain In
ovaries and congestion of the womb.
Since taking your remedies am better
every way My head trouble is all
gone, have no pain in ovaries, and am
cured of womb trouble. / can eat and
sleep well and am gaining in flesh.
consider your medicine the best TO be
had for female troubles"
The present Mrs. Pinkham's experi'
ence in treating female ills is unparal-
lelled, for years she worked side by
side with Mrs. Lydia K. Pinkham, and
for sometime past has had sole charge
of the correspondence department OF
her great business, treating by letter
as many as hundred thousand ailing
women during a single year.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1898-05-27
THE OLD CAPITAL.
Class Confirmed by Bishop RAN
doIph-PersOnal Notes.

WILLIAMSBURG. VA, May 26-(spe-
cial)-Bishop A. NJ Randolph, of the
Southern Diocese of Virginia. preached
an able sermon last night at the Episcopal
church, and administered the rite of con-
firmatioG TO the class of candidates pre-
sented by the rector Rev. w. T. Roberts.
The Bishop, accompanied by Rev. Mr..
Roberts, visited Yorktown to-day. and
conducted services in old st. Paul's
church.
Mr.. Henley II. Jones. accompanied by
his daughter, Miss Marian, and Mr.. John
b. Spencer. are among those who returned
from Richmond this morning.
Professor and Mrs. Van II. Garrett. at
their beautiful home in Nicholson avenue.
have had as their guest Right Rev. A.
NJ Randolph. of Norfolk.
Mr.. John w. Jones has moved with his
family from James City, and is occupy
ing the Maupin house, and Mr.. Edmund
Warburton, also from the county. and
children. and his sister, Miss Lettie, will
move into Mr.. Warburton's house to-
morrow, fronting the courthouse square
1t has been storming here off and on
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1898-05-27

for the past week. and our farmers and
truckers are crying, TOO much rainP
Mr.. Cary Armistead Is now able to SIT
up in his room, and with good weather
hopes to get out next week.
Mr. Allen Morris is doing as we'll as
could be expected. No unfavorable symp-
toms have developed yet.
Il. NJ. Taylor was to-day appointed post
master at Toano. The bond of 5000 was
prepared in the Clerks office here, with
ID. w. Marston and w. b. Walden as sure
ties Mr.. c. c. Branch is now post
master. and will surrender the office as
soon as Mr.. Taylor's commission arrives.