Little Falls herald. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1889-1950, 1898-11-18
rs SEEN BY A GHOST.

/ The ghost Of my great-grandfsther came
iny and rat down on the most uncomf able
chair in the room. It was just his way.
had grown tired of offering him the big
leather chair which was tufted and soft and
roolny and delicious, and had Wearied Of
pushing out the wicker rocker. for his bene-5
ct. He always insisted that the straight
backed thing which / had bought at an auc-
ton of curios was just suited to one of his
age and time, and although it made me feel
like man sitting in the letter L, the stub
born old shade persisted that it was exactly
right, and crossed his hazy legs and squared
back and looked about on the vanities Of the
room with disappearing eye. q .a-=~ - i
That's electric light, is it," he said on
this occasion. "Tailow dips were good
enough in my day, but of course you grass
hcppers who consume the honey we ants
laid up couldn't be satisfied with what we
were glad to have
I gently demonstrated. In the first place,
as told him, | had never heard of an ant
that laid up honey or of grasshopper that
came along and consumed it. If he would
only tell me where to find sample OF his
breed of ants might hand the family name
down to fame as discovering entomologist
of some distinction.
He swore in n most unbecoming fashion,
considering that he had been dead for 60
years, and said was too smart Alecky for
my own relations.
81 see," he said, ENORMOUSLY, after shift
ing around two or three times on his hard,
uncompromising chair, that you've seen
TT to GO and spend lot of money that
earned for you on cloth picture that you've
put on your floor and that you step on in
kind of contempt. Don't you know that
when was your age and head of a family of
II l didn't have anything whatever on the
floor but just the soil of the earth, packed
down by Our bare feet?"
"You are referring to my rug? Oh. yes!
! forgot that it was purchase dating since
your last visit. Yes, yes. Of course things
have changed somewhat since your time.
For one thing, there are few men OF my age
who are heads of families OF II. hope it
won't offend you but tomorrow if you hap
pen around this way you will see truckload
of other new things, and they'll all be for
me-"
The ghost of my great-grandfather
groaned.
fortunately" said he, II have but one
day off in week, and shall therefore miss
the grief Of seeing further signs of your
soendthrift habits"
ooh, you better come around and look in.
Maybe you could give lis some good advice
in the matter of hanging some very old pic
lures which bought at sacrifice"
''Sacri6ce?" frightening.
Eyes; l bought three Tonic Vedd,os for
$780,"
''Tonio Veddios!" thesold ghost shrieked.
Great powers! Why, when was on earth
sou could have bought 'em for 40 cents; and
even now we keep him busy over here doing
nothing more expert than daubing red-blood
spots on our clothes when we are going out
to do some miscellaneous haunting! Why,
he never was or will be tirst-rater. He's
a calciminer."
The ghost of my great-grandfather, since
lie began haunting me, has picked up some
modern methods of speech and smile.
"What do you mean by miscellaneous
haunting?" inquired. -. .
"Well, you know that one night week
we have time off and 60 out On, family.
haunting looking up great-great-great-
grandchildren and such like and giving them
the benefit of our experiences. When we're
not visiting with our relatives we put in our
time in sort Of collective way haunting
popular places Of scare. spent last night
housing and incoming around fool of a
country graveyard where the walking was
bad and there was dampness and miasma.
We had notion that somebody might hap
pen to pass along that way, and of course it
would never do to let tradition make liar
of itself. a traveller passing country grave
yard at night has to see ghosts. It's the most
Internally lonesome job, ! guess, in all the
domain OF spirit naturalization. DO you
know that I've sat around for Elk hours at
stretch in a dreary, isolated, malarial coun-
try cemetery with no companion, perhaps,
but an ignorant foreign ghost that couldn't
speak English, and who only had sense
enough to shrek shrilly about every four
minutes, and that while thus occupied have
felt positive that you were over here in a
nice warm room, smoking fat black cigars
at my expense and fairly glowing with pleas
ure? tell you, ghost has nowadays no fair
show.
depressed my surprise. While uniformly
querulous, he had never before unbosomed
himself in, just these terms.
"Yes," he continued, II guess the job of
miscellaneous and promiscuous haunting for
traditions sake is the meanest work that
can be imposed upon helpless ghost. Why,
doggone it, I remember that once several
years ago, before I began to come around
here and watch you burning my money, I
was sent out to do bit of roadside murder.
didn't know the man who had been killed,
and, more than that, the crime had occurred
before was born; but had to CO.. The &C.
tual party at interest had suddenly discov-
cred descendant Of the seventeenth gen.
Grafton who needed bit of private family
haunting, and he took night off to do it.
They sent me and two others to substitute
two unreliables, Who, as soon as they
found themselves in position Of respon-
sibility, proceeded to get drunk. / 49,
t.Say, did You ever have two drunken idiots
of ghosts on your hands and thoroughly
frst-class piece of scary work to do in con-
nection with historic murder?. No. Of
course not stsE ! =. ~ ~,
II had 70 do. extra work or spoil the job.
These fools, hearing man coming, would
want to get out in I friendly way and try
TO get him to buy them drink : e condition
OF things utterly at variance with al &C.
scepted ideas Of behavior 1t such times.
Well, to equalizs their friendly conduct,
had to yell and shrek and laugh shrilly and
chew up phosphorus until I nearly ruined
my palate. And when We got back where
We belonged about three o'clock, I, who had
I ,u,nrkn1 nvnr<iynA s. had <hn ION. ~