The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1898-05-18
THE WAY Of THE WORLD
Handsome Offer to the Board
Of Trade to Advertise
Greater Jersey City.

A misguided man walked into the Board
of Trade rooms, in the Second National
Bank Building. last night, jast
as the members were about 20
settle down to their monthly BUSH
ness OF directing the affairs of the
city. He had heard of the Board of
Trade, ana at once imagined they were a
set of jawhawkers, farmers and clamdfg-
gers, and a very soft and easy mark for
the New York World" whose agent he
was. He had a proposition, he said, and
it was, in a word. that the Board of
Trade Of Jersey City should appropriate
to the use and benefit of his paper a few
thousands of dollars to boom Greater
Jersey City!i!
The advent of this unsophisticated in
dividual was a Godsend to the members
who had little to talk about. They played
with that New York man as a eat does
with a mouse. squeezed, guyed. chaffed
and pumped him. turned him inside out,
and then gravely committed him TO the
tender mercles of that astute gentleman,
Mr.. B. L. Stowe, of the Committee Of
Commerce, who will give him his ~quietus.
What is your propositions" politely
asked President Myron ]. Furst, Of the
go
Sneed. Screen or Smeared.
With charming condescension the VIC
tim replied that he represented toe Sn.y
were simply handbills. His paper had
heard of the desire of Jersey City 70 rope
in all the towns Huds county INTO
sumptuous idea certainly, but his paper
would overlook that. The idea could only
be perfected by his paper. 1t would les
the world know that there was a Jersey
City;sit would spread the name and fame
Of this city SO that manufactures W0'lil
spring up like mushrooms in the night, %
would with a touch of its magic wand in
stantly transform Jersey City into the
Gateway of Commerce Of America.
How much would this cost?" said Mr..
Joseph A. Dear, with d smile when Doded
no good for the victim.
"Oh,' replied the guileless agent, we
would do it for $500 a column" =
would take to advertise us?' asked Mr..
Daniel E. Clearly, gently leading the VIC
tim on.
have here a copy Of our special papsr fer
that sort of ~thing-there are "a pages and
eight columns on a page; that would
make $3.50. say in round rumaefs
That's dirt cheap said Mr.. Dear,
keeping his face straight.
Almost giving it away for nothing"
YES chimed in wicked Mr.. Cieary. 1T
is reasonable; but we are poor people
here in Jersey City, and II we gays yya
what we will get for it."
Delighted that the simple fish 90 were
nibbllng at his bait the agent Went on 20
say that the articles would be writtel- n
the very best style. He would describe
in glowing phrases our banks and pubic
schools, he would grow eloquent in praise
of our public buildings, banks anG stores;
he would descant in classic English on upe
excellence and purity of our water and
politics; he would rave over our munich
-eI "a -; L. ;A+ .n low oaI toll tho pnnnls nf
this earth and Mars how firm and Geo.
nomical it was and what harmony pre-
vailed among the officials, and all lAis
your board could appropriate, that
sum-, he went on, land have big firms
subscribe for descriptions Of their busi-
House, Lorillard's, Colgate's and Dixon
Crucible Company; they ought to be good
.But who gets that?'' said Mr.. Dear. as
i~nnocently as possible.
nOh. we do, of course. Now, there's the
they are good, at least, for $1,000; title
Guarantee, ditto; and them your big firms
like J. Mullins and Sons. Furst Bros,
goston 2 &C., BroW Rr s Va pe A WoIfTl s se5n-
& Aiberts, T. &c. O'Brien, Excelsior:
Bradbury ! y yd Pia T5e pe fbeee,a she Mr. are e. II i s Eorl
coran wouldn't mind a $1,000 to advertise
his windmills, nor Mr. ]. G. Voorhees, ard
Mr.. b. L. Stowe. a $1,000 each to puff
their hose, to say nothing OF smaller
firms who would contribute sums ranging
from $1,000 down. Plan simple as rolling
off a log. All you have to do is to ap-.
propriate the money, we'll do the resi-"
replied the guileless one, resuming MS
seat, ard smiling reassuringly at his au-
dience.
oh, how tenderly. and delicateay did
those Heavenly Twins, Messrs. Dear and
Clearly. aided and abetted by President
Furst and others, handle that ypu.ig
man.
w are a little short Of none at
present III Jersey City" said Mr.. Cleary,
gravely, "but if you will drop in and see
Us after the wal we will ak business,
and in. the meantime / move that the
proposition be referred to Mr.. B. +.
Stowe, of the Committee on Commerce,
for him to consider and report"
Seconded said Mr.. Dear.
Observation-Disclosures fayorsay
ayecontrarynoandnoitscarried," said Pres
ldent Furst, and that young agent left the
loom and hardened his heart against the
peoI5e of Jersey City in general and the
Board OF Trade in particular.