Mesa free press. [volume] (Mesa, Ariz.) 1892-1901, 1898-06-17

changes his mind" "He can't; no one
VIII swap with him" Brooklyn Life.
Jack-A woman can't throw straight.
Tom-Oh, don't know. Did you ever
have one throw you down?-New York
Journal.
He-It makes me better man every
time kiss you, darling. She-Oh, Har-
old, how good you must be now!-Bos-
ton Traveller.
Timmy-Pop, If there's a war are
you going? Pop-No, sir. Your mother
has been the man Of the house for the
past year.-Lfe.
Sunday School Teacher-Why Is 1t
wrong to have two wives? Tommy
Cos no man can serve two masters
New York Journal.
Everything ON earth has its mis-
sion" 'How about mosquitoesY "They
make US thing more kindly of fies."-
Pjttsburg Chronicle.
Zones thinks a great deal Of me-"
$50? didn't know you were such
friends" "We're not; owe him mon
memphis Appeal.
Little Clarence Pa, Is there really
"honor among thievesY Mr.. Calhpers
No, my son; thieves are just as bad
as other people.-Puck.
He-I suppose the chainless wheel Is
fast? She-I suppose SO. wonder
how long it will take 1t to reach the
bargain counter.-Puck.
His Idea.-'Is the water ycd get at
your boarding house pure? Egbert-
No; there seems to be lot of milk in
it.-Yonkers Statesman.
Jack-Yes, ancestors certainly help to
give person social prestige. TONES
pecially when they are wealthy and
one lives witch them.-Life.
Quick Work.-Jones-I married my
wife month after she accepted me-"
Brown-And married mine three days
after she refused me.-Puck.
From Two Points of view.-Minnie
(admiring her new ring) -Isn't 1t dear
little thing? Jack (who bought N)-In-
deed 1t is!-Jewelers' Weekly.
Mrs. Ferry-Are your new neighbors
well-to-do? Mrs. Terry think they
are. The children have such awful
Manners Cincinnati Enquirer.
81 wish to establish fine private Il
brary. What book Is the best to start
onY' st would advised pocketbook. -
Philadelphia Evening Bulletin.
Watts-Newspape English is getting
worse every day. Potts-Why not?
The Offices are filling up with college
graduates indianapolis Journal.
Charles Bragg Yes, Miss Brightly, It
costs me ten thousand a year to live.
Miss Brightly-Oh. Mr.. Bragg, do you
think it's worth it?-Boston Traveller.
Shortleigh-My Uncle Frank is YER
liable Klondike. Longleigh-Why,
how's that? Shortleigh-Plenty Of
wealth., but cold and distant. = Chicago
News.
He Wouldn't Do.-Friend-Wouldn't
you Like TO have me sit here and shoot
at the poets when they come in? Editor
No. You are too poor shot.-Har-
lem Life.
She (reading)- Mice are fond Of mu-
sic and will get as close to it as they
can. He-Just cut that out and I'll
send 1t to the girl in the next flat.-Yon-
kers Statesman.
Seems to Cover It.-Hojack-Give me
paraphrase Of "All is fair in love and
war" Tomdik-The tactics permissible
in courtship are equally allowable af-
ter marriage.
She-Your face Is too near to mine.
He-It's two inches away; and that's
as bad as q thousand miles. She (pout-
ingly)-Well, 1t wouldn't be for some
men.-Harlem Life.
Brdggs-What did she say when she
rejected you? Griggs-She said 1t
wasn't necessarily due to lack Of merit,
but on account OF the great pressure OF
other material. Life.
Jake Fellows4I have a great notion
to kiss you. Miss Sweetlips (glancing
In the mirror)-W sir, to- be frank
with you, l couldn't blame you much
New York Evening" WOrld.
Aunt Maria-Why, Johnny, what In
the world are you thinking about?
Johnny Only thinking up things to say
when grow up that l used to do when
I was boy.-Boston Transcript
Mrs. Higgins What wretched taste
that Mrs. Wilkes has! Mr.. Higgins
Yes, met her down stairs this after
noon and she was wearing that ugly
old $25 hat you thought you wanted"
Chicago News.
I'VE English" said the intelligent
foreigner, do not run for office; we
stand for it." "And here" said the
bright American, ''the man runs for Of
fee If the people will stand for it,
Indianapolis Journal.
Adelbert-I cawn't say that I'm feel
ing nachuwal this eve; I've got
beastly cold in my head, on'tyerknow?
Geraldine-Neve5 mind, Addy. Don't
~~1rl