The true northerner., 1898-03-23

hat the new public building at Detroit
will not accommodate all Of the federal
offices. and that the government must
either pay rent for Offices at the rate
OF about $4,000 per annum. or else con-
iinue the use Of the old building.
A Convenient lnfirmity.
There goes man whose physical in
1rmity has been of the utmost conven-
ience to him." said a newspaper man
to me the other day while we were
standing In the house corridor. The
gentleman referred TO was a we'll
known member from New York
Il was sitting I'm Malcolm Hays office
one day when he was first assistant
postmaster general. when General
ketcham came in and commenced TO
talk TO Hay in his usual insinuating.
confidential manner. 1t was evidently
about some appointment, for Mr.. Hay.
raising his voice to reply, said: L have
looked this matter all over, general
and ! really can't find a place for your
man. I'm sorry, but it's no use, and l
think we must let the matter drop
'Ketcham, who had been sitting with
his hand behind his deaf ear, immedi-
ately replied: I'm very much obliged
TO you Mr.. Hay. / knew you would do
the best you could for me- but | had no
idea that you would make the appoint
ment so soon. / brought the young
man down with me so you could see
him and know what sort of a man he
is. and now that you have his appoint
ment ready, I'll bring him right in and
before Mr.. Hay, who appeared perfect
ly dazed at the total misconception of
his remark by the distinguished repre-
sentative, could interpose any objection.
ketcham went to the door and brought
In fine-looking young man. whom he
presented to the astonished Mr.. Hay as
the gentleman just appointed.
THE young man was profuse In his
gratitude, both to Mr.. Hay and to Mr..
Ketcham, and the latter smiled all over
his face in contemplation OF the good
he had done. Hay was in a dilemma.
He rang for his clerk and had brief
but earnest conversation with him.
Then he turned to the young man and
told him to come down the next day
and his appointment would be ready.
Ketcham shook hands with the first as
sistant postmaster general. thanked
him for his kindness. assured him that
the young man would make a good and
faithful clerk, and went out, accompan-
led by his protege.
Trio of Congressional Jokers.
There are three members of a state
delegation who are continually playing
practical jokes on each other. They live
at the same hotel and this fact enables
them to work their little schemes on
] each other to far better advantage.
The other evening a card was brought
to the possessor of one of the brightest
| intellects that ever scintillated in the
! house, which bore the name of Lillian
! Montmorency. Though she was un-
known to him, the honorable represen-
tative Immediately repaired to the par
lor, where he found young woman of
| prepossessing appearance and fine fig
ure, well-dressed and perfectly at ease
! in manner.
You don't know me, sir" she said,
'but I'm going to stand you up right
here. i belonged to a theatrical COM
pany which went to pieces in Chicago.
i had just money enough to bring me
| here, and now I'm stranded. i want to
! get back to New York and leave on
the 10 o'clock train. To do that l must
have some money. and / want you 10
let me have So"
The able statesman was somewhat
staggered by the amazing frankness of
the young woman and the extent of her
request. He looked at her closely and
she seemed to be telling the truth. His
hand went into his pocket. Before he
drew ii out. however, he said: I'm
very sorry for you, my dear young
woman, and l will help you, but there
are so many demands upon me that l
don't feel that l can afford to give you
$40. | will give you $5. however on
one condition. My colleague, Mr.. NJ,
also a representative from my state, is
| stopping in this hotel. and / want you
to send your card to him. He is a very
benevolent gentleman and can afford
to assist you. You tell him that I
gave you $40, and that all you want
from him is So and he'll give it to you
| at once. Then you will have some lit
tie money when you get to New York
to keep you until you strike another
engagement"
Went to the Other Member.
He then gave the lady S. bill and
left her. She Immediately sent her
card to the honorable NJ, who respond
ed with considerable alacrity, and to
him she told the story of her being
stranded, only she added that she had
with her a mother and two sisters who
also had to get back to New York.
She followed the instructions and said
that Mr.. MS colleague had given her
$40, and all she wanted from Mr.. NJ.
was $40. Mr. NJ. made the same plea
that his colleague had made as &c the
frequency of demands upon his purse.
and added that he only had IS bill
with him. He gave her that and said
IL she would call next day he would
| give her the other S..
But" he added, you want to go
home tonight"
well" rejoined the lady, Il can stay
! as long as YOU wish If You will only