Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1898-02-03

crowded theater like this, don't you?'
She-"Yes; there are too many people
around.
Hawkins-"So you sent for doctor?
Does he think You will be out soon?'
Robbins-"I imagine so. He said he
wished had sent for him sooner
Puck.
There's a burglar In the house" she
gasped. II have never yet uncovered
my head for any man." her husband re-
joined, with an affectation of hauteur.
Puck.
"Darlingw he cried, and threw him
self at her feet. The naughty damsel
shivered, as in apprehension. THAT
low Princeton tacklew she muttered.
striving to be calm.-Life.
She (reading)-"Mice are fond Of
music, and will get as close to it as
they can" He-"Just cut that out and
I'll send it to the girl in the next
tat."-Yonkers Statesman.
Recruiting Sergeant-"Do you know
anything about the drill" Recruit
"Av coorse. Didn't OF jist tell we OF
wurked in quarry these foive year
past T-Philadelphia Record.
Beginning early: Bridegroom =
''Where shall we 90, dearest-Niagara
Falls or Washington" Bride-"We
might go to both places and see which
we like best."-Brooklyn Life.
Elsie-"When all the boys sing to-
gether it is just charming. But why
don't you have sololsts in your glee
clubT Teacher-"They prefer to di-
vide the sibility."-Princeton
Tiger.
Wickwire-"I like Timmins' stories.
He has such light touch Simmins-
"Yes, that's one thing in Timmins' IA
vor; he rarely strikes one for more than
two or three dollars. "-Indianapolis
Journal.
"Mr. Grumpy" said the chronic bor-
rover, I'm financially embarrassed
to-day. Can you help me outT Cheer
fully" Then Grumpy kicked his caller
through two offices and a long halfway.
Detroit Free Press.
Household Diplomacy: Eyes, l al
ways give Dickie a maglc-lantern ev-
cry Christmas" "Why do you do
that" 1T keeps my husband at home
for several nights trying to make 1t
work. detroit Free Press.
II never do anything by halves" re-
marked the man who was hurrying
along the street. That's all right,
mister" replied Meandering Mike, who
had just overtaken him; n quarter or
seventy-five cents I'll do."-Washlngto
Star.
Henry-"Did it ever occur to your
mind that some of the greatest works
of literature have been wrought out in
PRISON." Willam-"Yes; why would
Mt it be good idea to send about two
dozen of our rising young authors to
Jail "-Indianapolis Journal.
II had the worst kind of luck in the
Klondike,' said the returned gold
seeker. Didn't you find any gold"
asked his friend. "Oh, yes, l found
gold. But every time l had three of
kind | was dead sure to run up
against full house."-Puck.
Tom-"Did you give Miss Gotrox
Christmas PRESENT. Jack-'I tried
to. Offered her myself, you know"
, Tom-"And she refused you!' Jack
II suppose that's what it amounts TO.
She said she didn't believe it was right
for girl to accept very costly GIFTS
, Brooklyn Life.
do you know why it is that so many
explorers seek the Arctic and so few
the Antarctic regions?' "Well, l think
| could make pretty good guess.
.'WhyY" THE Arctic regions are not
. quite so far away from the headquar-
! tiers of the managers of the lecture
! bureaus. Chicago Post.
: Mrs. Hymen-"I am afraid you do
not think so much of me, Charles, as
YOU used to. l can remember when
: YOU declared was worth my weight in
= gold" Mr.. Hymen-'Thats what l
: still say, but you must remember that
YOU have lost ut least twenty pounds
:. the last year. "-Boston Transcript.
= What do you think? My wifc's
4 father told me before we got married
y that he would give me handsome
). present on our wedding day "And
:, didn't he?" well, l waited over a
:, loveek. and as he didn't mention the
;, subject, asked him for it; and all he
: said was: why, didn't l give you my
:, daughter philadelphia Bulletin.
#. "Of course" he said, rehectively, Il
o am not making any complaint about it
i All desire to say is that | can't under
- stand it," you can't understand
s what?" inquired his wife. why car
[, you put gilded spheres and gaudy fab
y RIGS all over Christmas tree six feet
i. high and four thick for seventy-fivt
| cents, when it costs at least SIS tC
;. trim bonnet four inches in diameter
: Washington Star.
q Merchant presenting itemized state
- ment)-"Look that over, Mr.. Literal
and send me n check ut your leisure
And. by the way, let me congratulate
YOU on your marriage. | must say tina
Ia the lady is one of the most charming \
y was ever my pleasure to meet. an
.. certain she must make you a most ex
n cellent Wife" Mr.. Literal (exa minin:
10 statemenD-"I must confess that sh,
:, fills the bill."-Boston Courier
IN The naughty young typewriter drew
- herself to her queenly height. "Georg
h yermillion," she said, in icy tones, IN,
n once could mistake your attentions t
n me. My lawyer says l have beauti
a. full case. Either l will sue you 70
- | hraoch of promise or else Won mus