Stikeen River journal., 1898-12-10
Wrangel, Alaska, Dee. s, 1898

Wrangel. Alaska. Dee. s. 1898. AR. EDITOR:
 take up my pen to write you these few lines. know when you read them you will cXelaim. You don't say so" but do. l want to ask you Il conundrum. Have you ever studied the up-to-date. regulation steamship purser? You have not? Well sir, you have lost halfyour life. Here he comes shoulders back. head up, with the slow measured strut of d turkey at funeral, and just il slight roll that ilav- ors of subdued nautical swagger. Good morning. Mr. Parser. "Morn- in "When do you sail?' 'Dunno. V "What is the fare this trip?' "Oh hell ten dollars "Have you any cab in accommodations" Nav, got the lloor'
 Reilecting upon these retorts courte- ous We ask if these gentlemen were born with these sublime graccs of speech or has it. like the measles, been acquired We think we have discov- cred the cause. Long cons ago some sainted sailors clerk was born with an inarticulate vertebra. His movements per consequence were necessarily slow. rigid and formal While not altogether graceful they nevertheless otfer- ed faint parody upon the latent dig nifty of kings who strode upon prostrate necks Of course our esteemed gentry cannot cushion their feet with such ten der dainties but they can paralize the average person with a vaeuous disuse of the VI rious small amenities which make the paths of life pleasant. Under his august eye who does not quail That slow Swedish movement of the body. not forgetting the nautical roll, shows the severe mind that will not bend, that cannot yield. Here is d man whose pride is delibcration and con tempt is hurry. There must some- where be d school of sti fl spinality with d slow foot moving attachment and vac uous facial non-cXpression or the first prime example cons ago has been the 100 per cent standard. These great hearts. We often think in times of great tempests and raging seas help to draw up the ship and keep her atloat with their intense inward boyancy. The ho- tel clerk with shirt front blazing with .l d., ,l IL, ,f., rots is a less imposing genus, although people have been known to drop dead before them on occasion. The hotel clerk is weak and vacilating because he is trained to smile. It is true, the smile is often one that would remind Us of d man caught on country wayslde at d disadvantage, but it nevertheless shows a facial concession to the help lessness of the subjective person. Not so the stately purser. The eye falls cold and still. No illuming ray throws out beam to soften the situation. No rising infection goes forth to excite your rage or to ameliOrate your bosom. The look is stern. the tone is hard. No man, estimating life at figs price would ever say to such as he, Hello Bill"
 Often. Oh. how often, when rocked in that all disturbing oceans devilish swell, in the throes of mal de mer, hop ing We might sink into the depths with bubbling yroan. without friend, un- cotfined and unknown. have We rushed to the weather rail and spattered the breeze with mingled emotions and an inward sorrow, and felt the dolphineye fall heavy upon Us and heard that hard stentorian word, "Tickets.' There are few, no doubt pusllanimMis enough to be guilty of an occasional in- telligent expression and whose bodies move not in the similitude of morta reg is. That only proves natural inadapt- ability or a want of proper season. We have no doubt, most of these gentlemen are really nice fellows at heart. We have never followed them to their homes nor pushed in their front door that we might look upon the scene of their best affections. if austerc prac- tice has not left them entirely latent or in state of suspended animation. That this mistaken and peculiar con ception of dignity has been inculcated there is no doubt It is really the pos itive, necessary thing to sustain the roll of leading man. The exaggeration is extravagant and grotesque when we weigh the commercial avordupoise of