Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1898-03-29
HERE'S TO THE BABrEs.


woman's movement. led by an expert
cnced hand in such matters-viz: Sister
Elizabeth Cady Stanton. Not satisfied
with usurping the perogatives OF man
and trying TO reduce the sterner sex &c
absolute subsection the particular branch
| or new womanism to which Sister Stanton
belongs would deprive babies of GER
tain privileges OF babyhood that are
coeval with the existence of babies and
which have never, to our knowledge, been
| questioned before.
| 1t seems that Sister Stanton and a
| Mrs. Keller occupy adjoining flats. and
| that Mrs. Keller has three babies. The
Keller babies cry--logically they wouldn't
crying disturbed Sister Stanton's mus
ings-musngs, we presume, on an Adam
less Eden Sister Stanton determined to
stop the racket. and, according TO her
own account of herself in her recently
published autobiography. for Sister STAN
ton to determine Is for Sister Stanton TO
act. First she tried molasses-not on
the babies, but on the mother. She wrote
a sweet note to Mrs. Keller, inviting her
to bring the babies over. and telling her
that che Sister Stanton) could give some
points in "minding babies" The mother
informed her in reply, however, that the
Keller babies had pair of grandmothers,
both of whom had successfully reared va
rious and sundry babies to the estates OF
manhood and womanhood, under ii is to
be assumed, the catnip tea, soothing syrup,
paregoric, and soda and hot-water re-
CINE and that owing to mother and
mother-in-law tutelage. she considered
that she was competent to manage her
babies herself. Next, Sister Stanton tried
vinegar. She fred two more notes at Mrs.
Keller, both Of which were very curt,
and in one of which she threatened her
neighbor with the vengeance of the So
cety for the Prevention of Cruelty TO
Children.
Mrs. Keller ignored both Of these notes,
and then the night commenced in earnest.
1t is said that certain place where the
temperature is credited with being excep-
tionally high hath no fury like a woman
scorned. II this is true of plain, or
binary. old-fashioned woman, how much
truer 1t must be of a new woman-par-
ticularly Of a new woman scorned by a
woman. Sister Stanton marshalled the
forces in her fiat for a struggle TO the
bought a megaphone and proceeded to
discharge it at intervals across the air.
shaft between the two houses. But the
megaphone wasn't in il with the lungs of
the Keller babies, and was vanquisned.
However, the Stanton party returned to
the charge by appealing to the Board of
Health. but the board, being composed OF
"horrid men," and these having once been
babies themselves and recognizing as
they should have done that all babies are
born with certain inalienable and "con-
stitutionaP rights. among them those of
having the collie and squalling, and squat
ling, if they choose. when they haven't the
collie, refused TO intervene. Embodied in
the Stantonite appeal to the board was,
we are told, an elaborate diagram of the
flats, but it is clear that the babies APP
pealed TO the members of the board
through early, sharp. and painful recol-
lections of their own diaphragms. and the
babies won.
That was the situation at last accounts
The Keller babies had scored a triumph
in every onset. Moreover. the Keller
babies were still having the collie and
still proclalming the fact. practically
from the housetop, seeing that they live
in the sixth story. The Keller father is a
man, and is reported as having
said that he intends to move when his
lease expires. We hope he is misquoted
and that he intends TO remain where he
is. He owes it to his profession. to all old
fashioned women and to every baby in
the land. to hold the fort and encourage
his babies to cry on until the enemy shall
have been utterly routed, and the great
that no one has any rights the
baby is bound to respect shall have been
fully indicated.
SO here's 10 the Keller babies. May |
their lungs expand by practice until they |
make the adjoining fiat a bowling will |
derness.