Arizona republican., 1898-08-16
MR. COOLEY ON GEN. MILES MOONLIGHT EXCURSION"

Dear, oh, dear" said MT. Dooley, I'd give five dollars-an' I'd kill a nan fir three-if I was out iv this Sixth wa-ard tonight an down with Iin'ral Miles gran picnic an moon lght excursion in Porther Ricky. 'Tis 10 comfort in bein' cowrd whin ye think iv thim br-rave la-ads facin' 1eath be suff1cation in bokays an dy- Tn iv waltzin' with tn pretty girls iv Porther Ricky.
 T dinnaw whether Gin'ral Miles picked out tn job or whether twas picked out fir him. But anyhow. whin he got to Sandago de Cubia an looked ar-round him, he says to his frind Gin'ral Shafter: fGin'ral,' says he. we have done well so far,' he says. Iris rot fir me to take tn lorls firm tn 'teamin' brow iv thrue hero he says. lave ye here he says, fir to complete fh' vlcthry ye have so nobly begun ne says. 'F'r you he says, tn wallop n the eye firm tn newspaper ray oorther. tn r-round robbing an tn sunsthroke.' he says. fir me tn hard ship iv tn battle field, tn late dinner h theayter party an tn sickenin
 
 fruits iv ye'er bravery, he says. Ray urn, he says, to ye'er native land an raycieve amy gratichood tn sicrety " war can spare firm his own family he says. 'F'r me-, he says, there is nc way but f'r to tur-rn me back upon this festive scene, he says, tan' go where octy calls me- he says. 'Ordherly,' he says, put bottle on tn ice an see that me good pants that I wear with th' pale blue vest with tn di'mon but tons is irned out he says. An with @ haggard face he walked aboord tn ex- cursion steamer an wint away.
 I'd hate to tell ye iv tn thriles iv fh expedition, Hinnessy. -Whin tn pie nic got as far as Punch, on tn south arn coast iv Porther Rickv, Gin'ral Miles gazes out an says he: This 'ooks like 8 good place, to hang tn hammicks, an have lunch says he. Forward, brave men, says he, where Ve see me di'mon's sparkle says he. Forward an plant tn crokay ar-rches lv our beloved counthry,' he says. An in they wint like inthrepid warryors that they ar-re. On tn beach thev was met by dilligation firm tn towr of Punch con-sistin' iv tn mayor, tn common council, tn polls an fire de partments. tn Gr-rand Army iv tn Raybublic, an prominent citizens in carredges Gin'ral Miles maxim a hastv tielet, advanced onfiinchiEgly to meet thim. 'Gintlemen,' says he, what can do f'r ye?' he says. We come, says 5h chairman iv tn ccmity. fir to Of fer ye,' he says. tn r-run ivy tn town he says. We have held cut he says, as long as we cud.' he says. But, he says, 'they'se limit to human en- duraace,' he says. We can withstand ye 10 longer, he says. We s1rrinder. Take Us prisoners an raycieva us into ye'er gloryCus an well-fed raypublic, he says 'Br-rave men, says Gin'ral Miles. I con graduate ye,' he says, on tn heeroism iv ye'er defnse, he says Ye stuck man Ally to ye'er colors. whativer they ar-are,' he says T on'y wondher that ye waited fir me to come befure surrindhrin', he says T don't know how tn union Il feel about it, out that's no business iv mine,' he says. 'Ye will get ye'er wur-rukin' cards firm tn walkin' diligate, he says. 'an' yell be entitled he says, to pay ye'er share iv tn taxes an to live awhile an die whin ye get r-ready,' he says, jus tn same as if ye was bor-rn at home,' he says. I don't know tn names iv ye, but I'll call ye all Casey fir short he says. Put ye'er bokays in tn hammick,' he says, 'an' raythurn to Punch he says, an freeze somethin' fir me, he says, fir me thrawt is parched with tn la ixrf h low ha IT., tn avenin was spint in dancin,' mu- sic, an boat r-ridin'. an an inj'yable time was had
 9Th nex' day tn army moved on Punch an Gin'ral Miles marched into tn ill-fated city, preceded be flower girls sthrewin' r-roses an geranyums befure him. In tn afthernoon they was a lawn. tinnis party an at night tn gin'ral attinded a banket at tn Gran Palace hotel. At midnight he was serenaded be tn Raymimber tn Maine Banjo an Mandolin club. Tb entire popylace attinded, with pori chops in their button holes to show their pathreetism. Tn nex' day, afthel breagfastin' with Mayor Casey, he SC out on his weary march over tn Trough, tlower-strewn paths f'r Sal Joon. He has been in gr-reat pur firm a witherin' fire iv bokays, an h, has met an overpowered some iv tn mos savage orators in Porther Ricky but whin 1 las heerd iv him he hat pitched his tints an ice cream freezer near tn innimy's wall, an was gra ljully silencin' thim with proclama tions.'
 They'll kill him with kindness
 he don't look out" said Mr. Hennessy
 I dinnaw about that said MT. Doc
 ley. but l know this, that there's tE
 makin' iv gr-reat statesmen in Porthe
 Ricky. A proud people that ca
 switch as quick as thim la-ads hay
 nawthin' ti larn in tn way iv wha
 Hogan calls th' signs iv governmint
 even firm tn supreme court"