The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1898-10-30

boston Herald. l dare say thar if Father
Auan had mother-in-law, there would
nave oeen jokes cracked about her in the
Garden Of Eden. But in reality there is
absolutely nothing funny in being a moth
er-lh-iaw 1 am one. and I ought to know.
lou cannot pick up a comic paper with
OUT running efoul of the time honored
nfother-in-iaw joke. You cannot go to the
theater without having it drum4ned into
your ears. 1t Is mother-In-law. mother-in-
law, always mother-in-law! And now The
man laugh and nudge each other! They
may nave heard it hundreds of times be-
Aore' Dut it never seems to lose its fresh
ness in their eyes.
lully realize the enormity Of my task
IN pehalf of my unfortunate sisters in
misery who may, like myself. have a
son-ln-law. l use the singular number be
cause.-the gods be praised!-I have only
one. Those who have more have nv heart
felt sympathy.
since my daughter was married she and
her husband has made their home with
me. Ihat is mistake in the beginning
II any OF my readers who may be the
mothers of daughters ever gain a son-ln-
law, l pray for them, for the sake of their
own peace of mind, to ship the happy
par off to Kamchatka. They will be
just as happy there, and you-wel. YOU
will be twice as happy.
DO not wish to be understood as OBJ
Jecttng TO my son-in-law as an individ-
ual He is all that son-ir-law could
Wen De. l merely object to him as a class
Were 1t not for my belief that the human
race should be propagated 1 should declare
war against the son-in-law in general as
superhuous and altogether undesira BILE
person. But, recognizing in him a necessa-
ry evil the question that naturally arises
IS, what shall we do with him? When
ne insists upon reading aloud at the din
her table jokes about mothers-in-law
what punishment rs there worthy of the
otfense? When you take your daughter to
the theater and he comes along to see that
you have the proper masculine protection,
ana CYCLES at the sallies of vapid wit di-
rected at mothers-ln-law, what possible
excuse can he offer?
Or course, every one realizes that the
Jokes made at the expense of the mother
ln-lew are exaggerated. Take this one:
says No. l: I've got news for you" OF
course No. asks what it is. Your moth
er-in-law is dead" says No. l. Don't
make me laugh" says the other; Owe got
a sore lip" That is a fair sample of the
sort OF stuff that passes as current wit.
NOW, of course, cannot retaliate in kind
ana, consequently, l am handicapped al
the start. Every one realizes how absurd
the joke is, and yet every one laughs and
thinks IL very funny
Ihefe are motherS-in-law who are less
fortunately situated than 1. know one
who has son-in-law who is her senior
by several years. He Is rich and in his
dotage, and he married a girl of 20. His
periodical visits to his mother-in-law are
regarded as nothing short of terms of
torture in her household. He has to have
his hot water bags and his tonics Every
thing must be cooked to suit his deceptive
palate The entire house is turned inside
out TO accommodate his whims.
You know, mamma" says the inter
esting young wife to the long suffering
mother-in-law, The won't be with us
long, and we should do everything in our
power to please him.
There is one phase of the mother-in-law
problem that has probably never occurred
to you.
And there are others equally trying to
ones nerves. There is the son-in-law
who is constantly harping on the way
his own mother used to do things and
do them SO much better. There is the one
who has a fad, and insists that you be as
deeply interested in 1t as himself There
is the one who seems to think that he has
done you favor by marrying your daugh-
ter and taking her from comfortable
home to SIS month fiat up in Harlem
There are all kinds of eons-in-law not
to mention the dIssipated ones who destroy
your daughters peace of mind and make
of them in early wifehood.
That is too serious a problem for me to
grappe with, I shall pass il lightly by,
for I do not wish to become lima tured.
But do hate to see my own sex silently
accepting all the ridicule which has been
shoWered upon it since the days mother
in-law first existed without at least some
attempt to prove that there are two sides
to every question.