Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1898-07-05
THAT SCREEN DOOR.
Aided by Tape Measure Causes
Great Trouble.
Young Women Who Kick on Slippers Some
Odd Advertisements.

1
places of business together. yesterda,
morning, and Wilkins at once began t,
talk of screen doors and fiy screens
Jones was sympathetic on the subjec
as he remembered several little ode
Jobs in the way of repairs that he hat
long postponed, on his screens.
Wilkins had something on his mint
In regard to the screen business, Sc
Jones asked him to unbosom himself
promising sympathetic attention.
The tale he related while narrowing
is not new, but is even fresh to new
victims of the tape measure.
1t is quite the thing when you want
window shade or a fly screen, to
measure for it with your wife's tape
measure. The mechanic or clerk, ia
whom you take the measurement, sell
dom questions it,and there is no troub-
lie until the article is gotten home, and
the suspicion arises that it was made
for house in some other state, You
discover that tape measures and foot
rules, do not think alike
wilkins wanted a screen door. and
his yarn of grief was something like
this:
Il bought screen door according to
the measurements / had made and the
thing was sent home. When l got home
that evening the door was there, but
so broken and mutilated that my Wife
had not allowed the carpenter to go
ahead and put it up. l went down
street the next morning to the place
where had purchased and paid for the
door and put up kick that caused sus-
pension of business in the entire man
would be all right the next time and
they We're very sorry that | had been
SO much bothered, etc. SO l went home
that night with the door on my mind,
as it Were, thinking that it would be
in place and l would hear no more
complaints from my wife of careless
ness in not attending to the matter of
getting a screen door. / walked around
to the place where l expected to see
the door. There it was, leaning against
the side of the house. | thought bitter
things of carpenters that did not keep
their engagements. My wife appeared
in the doorway.
"'Hallo, Willie, l thought you We're
never coming. Why didn't you send
the right door? The carpenter says
that is too big in every way for this
house. 50 he can't cut il down.
why. it ought to be three-foot
door. Get me your tape
THE tape showed the door to be 3S
inches WIDE while | had ordered one to
be Sc inches in width. Well. | went
down street the next morning with
blood in my eye. | spoke earnestly
with the salesman from whom / had
ordered the door, telling him of the
danger Of pursuing such an irrespon-
sible course in this work and beseech-
ing him to Immediately send and get
the door and send one Sc inches wide.
With what did you measure the
door,
with my wife's tape line
"'You have been a victim of dress
making tape measure. There are no
3S-inch doors made. You will find The
door sent to be sc inches wide if You
will measure it with this twofo5t
rule
Il did as he told me and found the
door 70 be sc inches wide and the door
way 81 inches wide.
Il didn't say anything about that
two inches when / took the rule back.
had the carpenter cut It off. and then
threw the tape measure into the stove
and bought rule
I, ,,;f A1,a l,, 81, Of axr