Pullman herald. [volume] (Pullman, W.T. [Wash.]) 1888-1989, 1898-10-15
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alike" NO; circumstances alter
cases, Life.
I'VE have the deepest well ever
saw on our lot" What bore!-Phn-
ndelphia Bulletin.
He-"You haven't a mind above a
new hat" She-"And you haven't any
mind under yours. indianapolis Jour
nal.
Miss Passay-"I dread to think of my
fortieth birthday" Miss Pert-"Why?
Did something unpleasant happen
then|'-Brooklyn Life
Hicks-"I cannot go to the war.
am near-sighted.' Wicks-"I am far
sighted. That is the reason why |
don't go."-Boston Transcript
Fiddler-Yes, Boston has turned out
! great many musicians-"yourst truly"
/ among the number. Quiz-Wel, how
can you blame her?-Brooklyn Life.
Il find twelve dollars high price for
this parrot ! suppose he speaks IA
good deal" NO, not at all, but he UNI
derstands everything" 49, Fliegende
Batter.
Teacher Ito class)-"In this stanza,
what is meant by the line: The shades
Of night were falling fast%'" Bright
Scholar-"The people were pulling
down the blinds. Elk.
The First Mate-"How clear and
bright it is in the West" The Second
Mate-"Why not? The captain has
been sweeping the horizon with his
/ glass. "-Indianapoli Journal.
The General-"I have stood unmoved
when shells were bursting around me.
| Could your" Romeo Barnstomer--
We'll, that would depend great deal
upon the age of the eggs. Life.
''Some of these summer young men"
remarked Miss Cayenne, pensively, re
mind me of Dresden china" Because
they are beautiful?' Yes. And they
get broke 50 Washington Star.
Flasher-I saw you out horseback
riding this morning, old man. Dunn
bletpn-Don't say! Well. was / in 1t,
50 to speak? Flasher-The saddle? Wen,
at very rare Richmond Dis
/ patch.
Why don't they revive that song that
used to be so popular few years ago?'
I Il don't know what one you mean"
/ why, it ran like this: The Spanish
cavalier stood in his retreat "-Phia-
delphia Bulletin.
Uncle Frank-"Well, Willie, what did
| you see at the circus to-day" Willie
| (who was especially pleased with the
Shetland ponies)-"Lots and lots of
things; but the best were the con-
densed horses. Judge
Hogan-"Oi wonder who will be tn
last man on EARTH Grogan-"Oi dun
no, amy more than you. But it Is to
he hoped that he'll be an onndertaker,
so he will know how to bury himself
dacently. "-Indianapolis journal.
Come on, fellows" cried mosquito
who happened to overhear a quarrel be-
tween Mr.. and Mrs, Henpeck; this is
a cinch. | heard the woman tell her
husband he was the most thln-skinned
man she ever knew philadelphia
Record.
Poor Nivins. He can't forget his
early ways" II heard some one say
| he handled golfsticks as if they were
pickaXes." Worse than that. Let him
have his stick In the air for a stroke and
he'll drop it If the noon whistle blows
Cincinnati Enquirer
eff | were a man." she said, you
would not find me here to-day. I'd be
away fighting for my country IF
you were a man." he replied, you
wouldn't find me here to-day, either. |,
too, would be away, fighting for my
i country" After that all he had to do
was to gain papa's consent.-Cleyeland
Leader.
The Father-That young man who
used to call on you and stay so late Is
in the navy now, | understand! The
Daughter-Yes, papa; and think OF 1t!
his boat has been disabled. The last
! heard of him he was being towed in.
The Father-Well, don't let me see him
around here at all hours Of the night,
or you will see him being toed out
Yonkers Statesman.
Mr.. Simpkins is great enthusiast on
the subject of ''chest protectors which
he recommends to people on every oc-
casion. "A great thing he says. They
make people more healthy, Increase
their strength, and lengthen their
lives" but what about our ances-
torsYo some one asked. They didn't
have any chest protectors, did they?
They did not" said Mr.. Simkins, tri-
umphantly, land where are they now!
All dead!-Tit-Bits.