davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1898-02-24

"George and Laura have been married
two years, and they are still billing and
cooing."
eyes. She COOS and he pays the bills. F"
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1898-02-24

"Oome Laugh at trouble" says the sag
In accents comfortingly mellow.
'Tis easy to pursue the plan,
Most any man can smile to scan
The troubles OF some other fellow.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1898-02-24

He died of the hiccoughs,
In life.s early bloom,
And "His jacet John Johnson,
Was graved on his tomb.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1898-02-24

Mrs. Spellman- They say that the
Fuddletons have poker game at their
house nearly every night.
Mrs Gadsby-Yes, they do.
Mrs. Spellman-I don't see how you
and your husband can keep on going
there if that is the case.
Mrs. Gadsby-Oh, we always come
away winners.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1898-02-24
Relief In Six Hours.

Distressing kidney and bladder dis.
eases relieved in six hours by the "New
Great South American Kidney Cure"
This new remedy is a great surprise on
account of its exceeding promptness in
relieving pain in the bladder, kidneys,
back and every part of the urinary pas
cages in male or female. 1t relieves re.
tention Of water and pain in passing it
almost Immediately. If you want quick
relief and cure thisis your remedy. Sold
by w. r. Smith & Co., Druggists.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1898-02-24

Hicks-I felt so queer last night after
l went to bed. My head was spinning
around awfully.
Wicks-You probably slept ''like q
top."
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1898-02-24

Men and medicine are judged by what
they do. The great cures by Hoods
Ssrsaparilla give 1t good name every.
where.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1898-02-24

"Hobbs didn't have appendicitis after
ALL"
"Who said So"
"His doctors it seems he hadn't mon.
ey enough to pay for surgical operation.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1898-02-24

The Century for March has two arti.
cles on the gold.felds of the Northwest.
Mr.. John Sidney Webb writes of "The
River Trip to the Klondike," giving
many illustrations from photographs.
The Alaska Commercial Company made
application for the establishment of a
postal route along the Yukon River,
and last summer it sent Mr.. Webb along
the route to make preliminary survey.
Mr.. Webb's tour OF investigations in.
clude most of the coast of Alaska, and he
journeyed up the Yukon as far as the
Klondike. He describes not only this
famous creek, but the other tributaries
of the Yukon, many OF which have
been only partially prospected. Edward
S. Curtis writes in the same number of
"The rush to the Klondike over the
Mountain Passes," this article also being
illustrated from photographs.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1898-02-24

First Politician - Fine Congressman
you:have in your district. Put in half
an hour trying to blow out the electric
light.
Second Politician--He told me he was
going to do that before he left for
Washington. Makes him solid with the
iay vote, see?
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1898-02-24
Every Mother Wants
Chappelear's Bronchini

Chappelear's Bronchini
The Great Cough Cure.
Bronchini Cures.Croup.
Bronchini Cures Colds.
Bronchini Cures Cough.
Bronchini Cures Sore Throat.
Bronchini Cures Lung Disease.
Bronchini Stops Cough Instantly.
Bronchini Relieves Asthma. Quickly.
Bronchini sold on guarantee.
Large bottles so, small size 25 cents.
Sold by W. R.sSmith & Co., druggists.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1898-02-24

The NEws-HERALD. Weekly CONNER.
cial Gazette and Ohio Farmer for $500
per year.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1898-02-24

DsWitt's Little Early Risers,
~ 1nmsus llttis Djlls.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1898-02-24

81 was turned down." said the indig-
nant citizen.
"And the Office promised me I failed
to get," added another man who meant
business.
"Why, really, gentlemen" exclaimed
third, who was in the same boat,
there are enough of us to organize a
movement to crush this rotten system
which is eating away the vitals of the
nation"
And forwith they launched another
"inspired" reform movement.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1898-02-24
NOT FOR EVERYTHING.

But if you have kidney, liver or blad.
dar trouble you will find Swamp. Root
just the remedy you need. People are
not apt to get anxious about their health
soon enough. If you are mot quite
we'll" or "half sick" have you ever
thought that your kidneys may be the
cause of your sickness
1t is easy to tell by setting aside your
urine for twenty. four hours; sediment
or settling indicates an unhealthy condi.
ton of the Kidneys. When urine stains
linen it is evidence of kidney trouble.
Too frequent desire to urinate, scanty
supply, pain or dull ache in the back is
also convincing proof that the kidneys
and bladder need doctoring.
There is satisfaction in knowing that
the,great remedy, DR.. Kilmer's tSwamp-
Root, fulfills every wish in relieving
weak or diseased kidneys and all forms
OF bladder and urinary troubles. Not
only does Swamp Root give new life and
activity to the kidneys-the cause of the
trouble, but by treating the kidneys il
acts as tonic for the entire constitution
If you need a medicine you should have
the best. Sold by druggists, price fifty
cents and one dollar, or by mentioning
NEws-HERALD and sending your address
to DIR. Kilmer & Co., Binghamton, N. Y.
you may have, sample bottle of thi
| great discovery sent to you free by mail
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1898-06-06
ARE MEN NEATER THAN WOMEN?

Are women heater than men was a
question recently asked by a cynical
old bachelor who is stern critic as
to all that regards a woman's get-up.
This was the reply: women are en-
dowed with strange vagaries, and
while extremely fastidious in many
ways, are very neglectful in others.
Even the SWEETEST society girl is not
as particular as to the freshness Of
her collar and cuffs as is the plain
everyday man of business; to change
his linen at least once day is a
sort of religion with most men. With
women it is different; they will in
spect their collars and cuffs after a
days hard wear and decide that
they will do, not recognizing the fact
that if any doubt exists on the mat
ter they should be consigned to the
laundry without demtrr Again, a man
is much more concerned as to the
state Of his shoes than woman;
even the poor clerk on a meagre sal
airy spends his nickel a day for a
shine without grudging; and if it be
imperative that the nickel be saved,
he gets up earlier in the morning
and yields the blacking-b brush him
self. The woman will gown herself
in Worth's or Paguin's latest creation
and forget to look to her shoes; she
is even willing to condone the loss of
one or rwo buttons and the conse-
quent baggy appearance of her ex-
tremities; like the peacock, she trusts
to the gorgeousness Of her plumage,
and hopes that her skirts will cover
all pedal defects.-Countess de Mon
taigu in Godey's Magazine.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1898-06-06
VAIN LITTLE MAN.

I saw him yesterday in lusty health,
Surrounded by the glare of pomp
and power.
But all the train attracted by his
wealth
Could not insure him life one sin
gle hour.
Today I viewed him coffined and
confined,
Borne by cortege to the silent
tomb;
His friends and fortune left so far be-
And he enshrouded in the gra reyard
gloom.
Tcmorrow's sun will see his fading
fame,
And even the memory of his deeds
shall die;
The world will soon forget his lofty
name,
AS it forgets the meteors flashing
by.
His glory and his strength alike have
flown,
His life was but writing ON the
sand,
The palaces he reared, strange men
shall own,
All none will speak his name in
all the land!
Washington Post
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1898-06-06
SEMI-CENTENNIAL CHANGE.
Program Altered in Several Minor
Particulars.

Madison, May 81.
Several slight changes were made in
the general program Of the semi
centennial at the joint meeting of the
committees in Secretary G.. P. Stick
ney's ofiie Monday. The ddress
Of j. V. Quarles which was to have
been on the afternoon of the first day
will be given at the general meeting
at the armory in the evening. The
ten-minute speeches which were an
nounced for the second night will be
given on the evening of the last day
June 8. The following invitation has
been issued to many of the
distinguished people Of the northwest:
Upon the 7th of June, 184S, the first
state officers of the state of Wisconsin
took the oath of office, and the newly.
admitted commonwealth was installed
as one Of the members of the Ameri-
can union. In cOmmemoration of the
semi-centennial anniversary of this
interesting historical event, the legis-
lature of Wisconsin has authorized an
official celebration at Madison, which
will continue throughout Tuesday,
Wednesday and Thursday, the 7th, 9Th
and 9th of June. In the name of the
people of Wisconsin, the executive
committee in charge cordially invite
your cooperation, and request the
honor of your presence during the pro-
posed festivities" This invitation
has been issued to the following
classes: Survivors of the two consti-
tutional conventions, living ex-gov-
errors and lieutenant governors of
Wisconsin, the governors of Ohio, In
diana, Illinois. Michigan, Minnesota
members of the present legislature, all
ex-speakers of the Wisconsin legisla-
lures, to federal, state and circuit
court judges, members of the execu-
tive board of the Milwaukee carnival
association, Wisconsin commissioners
to the Omaha exposition, all historical
pioneer and early settler associations
in Wisconsin. all state historical So
cieties in the northwest, presidents of
colleges and normal schools in Wis
consin, chairmen of the several COM
mittees engaged upon the state semi
centennial arrangements, and all
speakers and other invited guests.
Arrangements have been perfected
by the ladies of the Congregational
church for furnishing tables and chairs
for those who bring their own lunch
but buy tea, coffee, ice cream, ETC., at
the church during the semi-centennial
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1898-06-06
ON THE RACK.

"What, do I believe that the Rus
slams torture prisoners with the Undue
tion coil? 0, very likely"
HIN! for myself I discount what
the papers say pretty considerably
Russia's always a safe topic. Now, as
to this torturing by electricity that
they're SO hot ON now, can't credit
that in the least. It's far too mediae-
val. Besides, evidences extorted in
such a manner would be worthless"
'That last argument is sound
enough" replied my companion; "but
what you say of torture being out of
date won't hold water"
He stretched out two wrists under
the lamp-glow in the center of the
railway carriage.
''See those heavy scars? Pretty
bracelets, aren't they? Well, those,
sir, were bestowed on me by an anna
teur torturer, who worked rack as
neatly as ever did your medieval tor
menter of the tower I should tell you
that I am an engineer. That's my
name there on that luggage label You
know it? All, yes, of course; that
little racket drill. But that was just
a by idea. My lines smelling COZ
per smelling; and in that perhaps, it's
not egotism to say I'm a bit Of spe-
cialist.
"You see, was the man who found
out-well to bother you with techni-
calities-one of the most important
things the modern copper-smelter has
got. I stuck to that one subject for
years, pushing through experiment.
after experiment, and making money
out of the side issues but always just
missing the main point And at last
the thing worked out itself.
IT expect my head got a bit swelled
by what I saw that day, for, like a
fool, when the experiment had run it.
self through, I must needs go out and
brag about it; go along to the club,
and get up ON my hind legs and bray
like jack-donkey.
cat last goodnight time came, and
we parted, l marching off amid
shower of inquiries as to whether I'd
bought the street, and if I couldn't
lend an old friend quarter of a mill
ion on account.
On the road home I kicked myself
(metaphorically, of course) every step
of the way. If ever blatant fool de-
served licking I was the man. But,
for all that, I didn't expect to get one.
However, it came. Two days after
that silly performance at the club, sir,
I was kidnapped in the public street.
cit was late at night and was walk
ing with my umbrella under my arm
and my hands in my pockets. A big
fellow hurried up from behind, came
alongside, and before I knew what he
was up to had lifted me off my feet.
couldn't shout because he had one
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1898-06-06
THE HAWAIIAN DECLARATION.

In order to evince the love for their
mother-country, America, the procla-
nation was issued on the day we
celebrate, July 4th. If our ancestors
signed the Declaration of Indepen
dence with halters about their necks
the men of the Dole Government took
a step fraught with equal danger and
far greater odds against them. The
native if permitted to follow his own
inclinations. is gentle, kind, and
childlike; but corrupting influences
have always been thrown about him
which have gone great way to
undo all the good his friends have
done for him. Even in the earliest
days of missionary struggles, the
whaler and sailor could, in single
debauch, undo all the missionaries
had been years in accomplishing. The
Louisiana Lottery, driven from our
own shores, resolved to plant itself
in the islands of the Pacific contigu-
GUS to the United StSates, and, like
poisonous tentacles upon the land
from which it had been driven. The
descendants of the missionaries saw
that not only were their own liberties
in danger, but the work Of Christian
izing the natives by their forefathers
would be undone. Their beautiful
home would be converted into
Monte Carlo of the Pacific, and the
susceptible native given over to
civilization far worse for him than
his aboriginal state. On the heels of
this act Of atrocity the queen pre-
pared for PRONUNCIATION constitution
which would have deprived every
white man on the islands not married
to a native Hawaiian woman of the
right to vote, hold any office, or have
any say in the making or unmaking
of the laws, and to make his property
alone subject to assessment and taxa
tion. It was either slavery or revo-
luton, and, like our noble ancestors
they resolved on the latter.-Godey's
Magazine. 80
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1898-06-06

in cold blooded way that ought to
satisfy even your suspicious nature.
1 don't like to see you with your
mind in utter idleness, and if l were
in your place I'd sit down and read
the city directory"
He took the volume and languidly
turned over some of the leaves.
NO" he said, handing it back.
Its like all the rest. There's
man who used to be bunco steerer
who is referred to in this book as Mr..
Green. A colored man of my &C
quaintance is put down as Mr.. White.
''The most inveterate bicycle rider
in the city is described as Walker, >
and citizen alluded to as Black is
to my personal knowledge, an albino.
It's no use, Marie; I can't rely on
anything see in print"
And he heaved another sigh and
proceeded to look once more into va
cancy.-Washing Star.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1898-06-06
CASHIERS BRIGHT IDEA.
Would Sell the Gold Filings in His
Teeth and Go to Alaska.

The cashier looked excited the
other morning and could scarcely
wait until he had opened the vault
before he began:
Il say, I'm beastly tired of working
here like a slave when fellows are
digging up the Klondyke regions"
There are others" was the gentle
reply of the shipping clerk.
''That doesn't help me any," re-
turned the cashier "The fellows up
there seem to have all kinds of joy
and pleasure digging up the gold.'
The bookkeeper yawned. The son
Of wealthy parents, the Klondyke
stories did not appeal to. him as to
the others. "Why don't you go up
there?" he asked carelessly.
The little eyes of the cashier twin
killed. and he cried, joyfully: Il ami"
= Good walker?' asked the shipping
clerk.
mo, honest, NV; all blufing aside:
I'm going"
Better have the auditor in the
u1uu1o OF the mOnCn instead OF Walt
ing until the first of next if you keep
up this kind of talk suggested the
bookkeeper.
Where will you raise the dust?''
elegantly asked the shipping clerk,
leaving his desk and going over to the
cashiers cage,
"Why, I've got it all planned out, -
cried the cashier, speaking so eagerly
that he fairly stumbled over his
words. "The other day I read in the
papers that gold filings would drop
out of teeth up in the Klondyke.
Now, you know how much my teeth
have cost me? Well, I'm going to
have those gold filings taken out and
silver ones put in, and when I sell the
gold filings I'll have plenty to take
me up there, won't II" and he looked
so happy in his belief that neither
the bookkeeper nor the shipping
clerk had the heart to suggest that
there might be difficulty in finding a
purchaser for the gold filings after
they were removed.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1898-06-06
THE, SINGLE LIGHT.

The lonely sailor, when the night
Ger oceans glimmering waste de-
sends,
Sets at the peak his signal light,
And fondly dreams of absent friends.
Starless the sky above him broods,
Painless the waves beneath him
swell,
Through peril's spectral solitudes
That beacon f1ares-and all lis we'll.
So, on the wandering sea Of years,
When now the evening closes round,
I show the signal flame that cheers, i,
And scan the wide horizons bound.
The night is dark, the winds are loud,
The black waves follow, fast and far;
Yet soon may flash, through mist and
cloud,
The radiance of some answering
star.
HAPPY across the shuddering deep,
One moment seen, a snowy sail
And pass with one exultant hail!
And I shall dearly, sweetly know,
Though storm be fierce and ocean
drear,
That somewhere still the roses blow,
And hearts are true, and friends are
near.
Each separate on the eternal main,
We seek the same celestial shore;
Sometimes we part to meet again,
Sometimes we part to meet no more.
All, comrades, prize the gracious day
When sunshine bathes the tranquil
tide,
And, careless as a child at play,
Our ships drift onward, side by side!
Too oft, with cold and barren will,
And stony pride of iron sway,
We bid the voice of love be still,
And thrust the cup of JOY away.
No comfort haunts the yellow leaf!
Wait not till broken, old and sere,
The sad heart pines, in hopeless grief,
For one sweet voice it used to hear.
Thought has it's throne and power it's
glow,
And wealth it's time of transient
ease;
But best of hours that Life can know
Are rose-crowned hours that fleet
like these.
Let laughter leap from every lip!
To music turn the perfumed air!
Ye golden pennons, glance and dip!
Ye crimson banners, flash and flare!
On them no more the tempest glooms
Whose freed and royal spirits know
To frolic where the lilac blooms
And revel where the roses blow!
But lights of heaven above them kiss
AS over silver seas they glide
One heart, one hope, one fate, one
bliss
To peace and silence, side by side.
William Winter.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1898-06-06
IN NO MOOD FOR READING.
Pessimistic View of Several Familiar
and Pleasing Occupations.

Mr.. Blykins was looking out into
space in silence when his wife found
him.
Haven't you anything to read?'
she inquired.
Nothing whatever" he replied,
with a great deal more solemnity
than the occasion demanded.
1t was plain that he was in a deeply
pessisistic mood, from which it was
desirable to win him, if possible.
Here's a newspaper" she ventured.
GIVE tried newspapers he re-
turned. Il don't want any. l haven't
found one of them that doesn't say
something with which I don't agree.
I'm tired Of having my opinions af-
fronted two or three times in every
column"
Perhaps you'd like a novel
bought new one, and it's very inter-
esting."
Il don't want any novels, either.
Every one of them is tinged with
false ideas Of life. They're libels on
human nature. The modern novel is
AOIAAuS mOlc Ludu dn Irresponsible
caricature."
Perhaps you'd like me to bring
you history from the library?"
History" he repeated, contemptu-
ously. What are the data with
which historians work? The mere
batteries Of subsidized sycophants Of
power! How do we know that two
thirds of the history we read isn't
merely a reflex of the political preju-
dices of defunct chroniclers? I have
no doubt that many Of the men who
wrote about the prominent characters
Of the past were ready to hold office
if they got the chance.
"a large number Of them did re-
ceive incomes from the government.
And you know as we'll as I do that a
man who is looking for Office is sell
dom qualified to sit back in the jury
box of literature and take calm i'm
partial view of current events"
WELL" his wife rejoined, somewhat
exasperated, there's a book that I can
commend to you. 1t isn't very inter-
esting, but it tells indisputable facts
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1898-06-06
BLESSED A FLAG.
Ceremony at Great Appleton
Convention.

Appleton, Wis, May 31.-Appleton
is in the hands of the German Cath
Ollie Benevolent societies of the state.
now holding their biennial convention.
There are over $4,000 visitors in the
city. Special trains were coming in
every fifteen minutes through the
fore1 Don, and every city delegation
brought brass band for the big par
ade. The crowd is the largest that
ever met in this city. Brass bands
were stationed at the corner of every
principal business block in the city,
and military companies, zouaves and
cadets marched. The entire popula-
ton turned out en- masse to witness
the greatest convention ever held In
Appleton. The exercises commenced
yesterday morning at o'clock. Father
Meyer of Racine performed the cere-
mony of blessing large United States
flag presented to the Stats Verband
by the Racine societies. The business
session for delegates followed at st.
Joseph's hall, about 1900 being pres
ent. Theodore Karsuen Of Chiffon,
president OF the AmaIgamated SOcl-
cites, addressed the meeting with a
pleasing speech of welcome. State
Secretary Kober then presented the
credentials of the delegates. The
spakers who followed were Mayor Her
man Erb, Jr.. who extended in be-
half of the city a hearty welcome to
all visitors and delegates. Henry
Broesker of Racine, in a presentation
speech, formally handed over the flag
presented by the Racine company.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1898-06-06
Among the Hindoo deities poor CT

Among the Hindoo deities poor GU
avishly invested with the gro
tesque and monstrous attributes so
characteristic of the land of Brahmin.
He is called Camadeva, and he pre-
sents striking contrast to the
dainty little imp of Greece and Rome.
He is not himself provided with
wings, like our own little humming
bird deity, but to supply the deficiency
is clumsily mounted on parrot. His
bow-for he is still an archer-is of
jointed sugar cane, and the cord is
made of a string of bees. His arrows
are flowers, their sharp heads con-
cealed with honeycomb.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1898-06-06
TRUE ENOUGH.

NEARLY all our native biyde eve
been identified and described; little
more can be accomplished in this
direction, and the man who shoots
thousand birds for anatomical or
technical examination learns less than
he who carefully studies the habits
and thoroughly learns the song of
one. EldTidge Eugene Fish.