The Monmouth inquirer., 1898-03-03
TIE RETIRED BURGLAR.



He Encounters Victim Of Insomnia Whs
Welcomes Him u Guest.
oI found the dining room of a house
that | was looking over one night,
said the retired burglar, filled with
glow Of light from a bright hard-coal
fire burning in CRATE at one end OF
the room. There was just little Dil
Of gas burning from one burner, pu'
il only made little yellow tip in the
redder glow from the fire. About hail
tha table was covered with a folded
white table-cloth, clean and thick and
with the creases still in it. On this
cloth there we're a plate and plate o.
bread and some butter and vinegar anu
catsup. and things like that; and on
the other end of the table that WASH
covered. the end nearest the nre, unere
was an old-fashioned square tea-tray
with the japanning pretty much worn
all off. Looking down by the flre
! saw on one side of the hearth halt,
bushel basket pretty near full OF pig
selected oysters, pretty uniform IN
size and laid in carefully with tne
round shell down.
ssIt was a winter night, colder .
Greenland outside. and this room was
lust as comfortable as it could be, ana
that layout did look inviting, and
couldn't even guess who it was for
because the house was shut up tighter
n a drums evidently nobody expected
and nobody settin up. But Whne
was standing there wonderin over II
! heard door open-the one next 70 the
one ia come in at and in comes q
man that looks at me for a minute and
says:
This is an unexpected pleasure.
"And I says 1T is to me, too. looking
at him at the same time. and seein'
man, maybe little bigger n myself,
and perfectly resolute and capable and
able to take care Of himself
"sBut sit down, he says, and eai
something with me. You'll find anoth-
er oyster knife in the left-hand side Of
the right hand drawer of that sideboar6
right back of you. And there it was
and when / turned around again the
man was putting oysters on the fire IN
the CRATE. Five minutes later he was
pickin 'em up with a pair Of tongs and
Iayin 'em carefully, round shell down,
ON the old tea-tray. Now, will you
just help yourself?' he says.
You do this very often?' | says.
Well. no, / don't; he says; and !
shouldn't do it at all if could help
it; but l suffer from insomnia. and
find that when / can't sleep, a little
snack OF something to eat makes me
sleep. / can tell, generally, before
go to bed, the nights when amt go
in TO sleep. and such nights / have em
ok up something to eat in case should
need it; and then come down ana ma
it. like this. And eatin' something sort
O. tranquilizes my mind, and go Dack
to bed and go to sleep all right.
He pushed the top shell of an oys-
+ ter in front of him over onto the tray
and put a little bit of a scrap OF butter
on the oyster and looked at it dissolve
a minute. and then he put on just one
5rop of pepper sauce. turned the oyster
over in the deep shell SO as to get the
dry top side into the oyster juice and
melted butter, and then he ate it. Then
he lipped a little hunk of bread into
the iuice in the deep shell and ate that
and then he pushed the empty shell
out of the way on the tray and took
another oyster off the fire with the
tongs and began on that.
ssDarned If could see how man
that enjoyed eatin' as much as he did
could ever bother about anything. but
he did, the same, that was plain, or
he wouldn't have been there
81 don't suppose he says, that you
ever suffer from insomnia, and il you
did it wouldn't make any difference,
because you want TO be wide awake
nights in your business, eh2' and he
seemed to think this was pretty slick
little sort of joke. Then | told him
how | came to go into the business;
that when I was a young man had
been a great sufferer from insomnia
myself; that in those days there were
not nearly so many night occupations
to choose from as now, and that my
choice was limited; that had not fol-
lowed burglary from inclination. but
that / was compelled to do something
FOR a living, and burglary was the only
night work could get at the time, and
that's how / came to take it up as a
business.
You don't mean it! he says. Put
ON the blower and start up the fire a
little, If I'd ha' known you were COM
ing I'd had another basket.
well, we finished em UP and
says to him: What do YOU think;
nhink you can sleep now?' And he said
he thought he could. And he let me
out the front door and went to bed, /
suppose. / know went home my
self feeling comfortable. hadn't made
cent, but it's good thing to take a
rest now and then, and I always did
like roast oysters. New York Sun.
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