The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1898-01-23
OOLLY'S EFFORTS TO ECONOMIC,
That She Accomplished in the Way of L
, remarks sugar-Tbe Inn
ChateIain-A About abIe
her tiers of Inter

CONS as many pencils as can be accommo-
dated various little hooks, box to hold
sweets and all the rest of the convenient
and conventional trumpery.
Apropos of tablets, l heard a funny story
the other day. 1t is well known fact that
during the holiday shopping the average
woman becomes frightfully nervous. Con-
sequently the polite fioor-walker is quite
accustomed to speaking to women who are
IN tears and nine times out of ten can guess
the reason of their grief. A specially civil
chap saw a handsomely gowned, refined
looking woman crying bitterly. He asked
If she were i'll and if he should get her a
glass of water No nothing was the mat
ter with her so far as Illness was concern
ed. Had she lost her purse? 1t was safe
in the shopping bag. Had she lost her
way? No, she lived in the city and knew
her way about town. Had her friends or
children wandered from her? No she had
gone out alone
At last, suddenly inspired, he asked
Have you lost your memorandum book?"
She looked up in his face and answered
mo, I've got it, but 1 can't make out
what one word of 1t means" And event.
ually she cried so long and so hard that
she had an attack of hysteria, and a doc
tor had to be called In and a carriage got
and her loss of memory cost her husband
500. The moral is: Write out your memo
randdm list so you will know what it
means" A very sensible judge has decid-
ed that the proprietor of a theater will
nave to pay for q frock torn by a nail on
the seat engaged for the performance. Now
comes the opportunity of the downtrodden
worm. How about the hats crushed by men
going out between the acts? How about the
cloaks injured when one is induced to
check them? How about the backs of bod
ices stained by the accumulated dust and
grease on the nasty plush upholstery? Will
the manager have to pay for these? Men
are always wondering why the women
won't leave their hats and cloaks in the
dressing room. l will tell you why. Be
cause nobody likes to have the maids in
charge trying them on or holding them in
their hands and criticising them. No wo-
man who wears good clothes likes to know
that her cloak is at the bottom of a heap
of cloaks poked into cubby hole. and
that is about the way that things are cared
for when they are checked. The woman
who has the wisdom of the serpent keeps
a very ordinary cloak for theater wear
and swathes her head in an enormous lace
scarf. The scarf can be wrapped in the
cloak and put under the seat, and the gen.
tleman behind can put his feet on it or
even poke hole in 1t with his umbrella,
and there will be no great grief. But to
see an ermine lined, lace trimmed cloak
and beautiful chapeau receive such
treatment is enough to bring tears to the
eyes of a rhinoceros. an animal which is
said not to weep easily.
Personally I glory In a warm cloak of
Irish frieze and a lace scarf four yards
long, which are my standbys, while the
man who oftenest is my escort invariably
wears to the theater hat which in the
order of service is known as No. 5. I must
confess that the hat is getting to look
little as if 1t were time for it to sink
into innocuous desuetude. It has got to
be one of the funny things, and there are
so many funny things.
Did you ever see little dog in a Ham
let cloak and a three-cornered hat? That
funny
Did you ever see a kitten in long white
dress, with pink mob cap? That's
funny
Did you ever see an old woman with
bleached hair wearing a sailor hat?
That's funny.
Did you ever see an old man dressed
like young dude? That's funny.
Did you ever notice how a man can con-
centrate all the soul he possesses in his
athletic get up? That's funny
Did you ever see a woman who is lib
eral in her use of powder and rouge and
who believes nobody notices it? That's
funny.
Did you ever see a man who believed he
could deceive woman? That's funny, but
it is lot funnier 10 see how a woman does
does deceive a man, especially when she
does 1t for his own good. BY the by, it's
funny weather we are having, isn't il?
Fun's a good thing, and you can seldom