West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1898-06-02
THE BOwSERs' TROUBLES.
The Head or the House Takes Turn
at Carpet Beating. and Threatens
Divorce Proceedings as Usual.

{" Well, but what's all this =? >
exclaimed Mr.. Bowser, as he came
home to dinner the other evening
and found the sitting room carpet
piled in the corner and the room
dismantled.
"lt's time for house cleaning.
you know" replied Mrs. Bowser.
When you go down in the morn.
ing | wish you'd stop at the carpet
cleaning place and have them come
for that crpet."
He said he would and made a
note OF it, but after dinner IA sud
den thought struck him. lie stood
looking ut the carpet for minute
and then said
BY George. bat I'll do II tn
not only be. the best kind Of exer-
else, but save bother and delay.
Mrs. Bowser, I'll beat tho carpet
in tie back yard this evening""
But l don't want you to-" she
protested. That carpet has got
to go to the cleaning works and be
thoroughly beaten"
"That carpet will be thoroughly
beaten right hero, my dear. There $
back yard, stout clothes line,
and with the aid of broom stick
I'll knock every speck of dust out
of it ia 10 minutes"
=" But please don't try it. 1t
will take two men to handle it, and
nobody can beat carpet in 10
minutes. You couldn't beat il
thoroughly IN half a day"
Now, then, see here" he con
tinued, as he began to remove his
cuffs 81 want exercise ia the
arms aud shoulders. I'm as stiff
as a post. Beating carpet will
be better than the dumb bells or
clubs. An hours work will make
me sleep like ii top to night"
But something will happen
aud you'll-you'll raise row -
she faltered.
/" Bosh Nothing will happen.
and there'll be no row. It's 20
years since / beat II carpet, and it
will bring back the old days. Your
father was beating carpet IN the
back yard when l asked your hand
in marriage"
OH pay for having it beaten
out of my own money, if you'll let
it alone"
:" 1t isn't question of expense.
Mrs. Bow or, he answered.
/" though we might as well s,ve the
50 as give it to the benters. AS |
said | want the exercise. | also
believe that | can knock out more
microbes and germs with broom =
stick than any steam carpet beaten
in the world. I'll shift into an old
SUIT, and then I'll give you few
lessons on how to beat carpet all in
the merry springtime. heigho.
Mrs. Bowser continued to pro-
test, but without avail. As soon
as he got into an old suit Of clothes.
he spat on his hands and made a
sudden jump and seized the monster
bundle and gave a wrench and "A
pull. He was successful in worry =
ing it along to the door leading to
the basement, but then there came
a hitch, Mrs Bowser took advan-
tage of 1t to offer to buy theater
tickets for the evening if he would
go bat he could not be moved from
his purpose.
"Just you go down and hunt
me mp a brOomstick and then
stand by and see the fur fly," he
responded, aud she pissed down
ahead Of him.
AS the bundle Of carpet was
larger than the doorway, it did
not need much nccumen to see tn It
the one had either to be enlarged
or the other compressed. Com.
preston seemed to be the quickest
way out OF it, and Mr.. Bowser
spread himself all over the bundle
and braced and tugged until it sud.
denly rolled through the doorway.
He hadn't planned to 60 with il.
but somehow he did. 1t was an
even start. Mr. Bowscr was also
OF top half the time gong down
gfairs buf ON ro ,cbipcs tho hill -