The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1898-11-10

RQo.

49,
Mr.. Ikelheimer? Mr.. Ikelheimer-
Burns!-Puck.
"You might have known you couldn't
walk" well. l tumbled to 1t soon
enough."-New York Times.
Eyes, sir, shallup Is not only a news
paper man but a gentleman HE
must lead a double life."-Life.
Customer-Does 1t fit? Secondhand
clothler-Fit? Wy, Id fits, of course; Il
perfect epileptie ht.-Syraeuse Herald.
"All the poets give us odes about
Cuba" Yes; why don't they sing a
few Philippians Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
She-Old Mr.. Skidmore boasts that he
Is a self-made man. He-Well. | know
that he bought his teeth and his wig
The Criterion.
The last creation: She-You shouldn't
blame a girl for being thoughtless. He
Why not? She-Because even the first
woman was an Neutrality-suspicious.
! Ign Life.
dGdA hhiC hHon ~ fNII
angry, was he2 Second deaf mute
He was so mad that the words he used
almost blistered his fingers.-Indian.
apolis Journal.
German Professor lin his lecture on
water)-And then, gentlemen, do not
forget, If we had no water we could
never learn to swim-and how many
people would be drownedi'
Sapplngton-I once came within an
ace of making five hundred dollars.
De Qulncy-How sol Sappington-It
was a game of poker; what | needed
was the ace of diamonds.-Judge.
eli, what do you NEAR by selling
me a paper and yelling. United States
Vessel Gone Down with All On BoardY
There's been no accident" who said
dere had? 1t wuz de submarine boat,
yer ole jayw
mo, Herbert, l am sorry: but | I'M
sure we could not be happy together.
You know always want my own way
In everything" But, my dear girl,
you could go on wanting 1t after We
were married. "-Boston Globe.
Mrs. Mulligan-An' what did his
'onner say TO you this morning? Mrs.
Mulcahy-Can't you and your husband
live together without fighting? Mrs
M~ulligan-An' wat did yer say? Mrs.
Mulcahy-No, yer 'anner. not happily.
Nan-I was just thinking what a
! a,.1ap thHao Nak.pa ig Now Of xrhof
use is that tail to the cow in winter
time when there are no flies? Fan
It may be of no use to the COW, but
what would we do for oxtail soup?-
Puck.
Mrs. Williston-How IS 1t, Colonel,
that you have no medals? All the 9TH
ar officers of your regiment have lots
of them. Col. Copeton-Well, you see,
[ don't belong to any bicycle club, and
never made a century run in my life
Chicago News.
81 have just come from the oil-re-
gions," remarked the Casual Caller TO
the Snake Editor, land l find that the
war-feeling has got into the petroleum
producing business How Is that?'
Drilling is going on actively Pitts
burg Chronicle-Telegraph.
Look here" said the policeman to a
small merchant. you can't sell goods
that way without n license TO peddle."
Look at that" replied the merchant,
as he drew from his pocket a bieycler's
tax-receipt; "what Is that If 1t isn't n
license to pedaly'-Judge.
"Yassir," said Mr.. Erastus Plnkley;
when | goes ter de wah | won't be no
awdinary sojer. I'll be a regular bird"
"Mistuh Plnkley." responded Miss
Miami Brown, "ls you usln' slang, or is
[ to onderstan' OATS yon's gwlne ter
line de fyin' squadron ?"-Washington
Star.
"You should join our book club. Why,
last winter l read over a hundred books
by giving five minutes a day. read
Nansen's Prisoner of Zenda,' Hall
Gaines Quo Yadls,' Aliens Chris
ian Julian H~awthorne's Choir In
visible and Hopes 'Farthest North
How charming"-Life.
"our proud name has never been
humbled in the DUST said Miss Par
Venoo. ooh, yes. it has, Sally said
the inconvenient and Objectionable old
friend OF the family, Il remember 1t
happenin' forty years ago, when the
wind bowed down the sign off your
Erandfather's shoe shop."-Indianapo-
is Journal.
The poet had handed in his effusion,
and 1t warmed his heart to hear the
editor exclaim again and again: Cap
tall" Capital "Capital!' "Then
you like it?' said the poet. "0h, I'm
not reading It," replied the unfeeling
EDITOR; Il am only taking c~ognizance
Of the fact that each line begins with a
capital letter. From that | infer 1t Is
poetry."-Boston Transcript.
He (desperately)-Tell me the truth.
Is 1t not my poverty that stands be-
tween us? She (sadly)-Y-e-s. He
with a ray of hope)-I admit that l am
poor, and so, unfortunately, Is my faith
pr; but | have an aged uncle who is
very rich, and a bachelor. He is an in
valid and cannot long survive. She
How kind and thoughtful you arel VIII
you introduce me to hlm?-New York