The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1898-08-03
WHITNEY'S WEEKLY
BUDGET OF NEWS
MORMON ELDERS WORKING ON
OLD STAMPING GROUND.
Opinions Upon Joseph Smiths Book
of Mormonism-Bill Miller's Queer
Catch--News Record of the Week.
Carbondale People View the Sight.
Other Side of Life.

Special Correspondence of The Tribune.
Susquehanna, Aug. 1.-Two Mormon
elders are laboring In Susquehanna.
AS that locality furnished the first ma
terial for mormonism years ago, 1t
ought to be able to produce another
larger contingent of Saints by this time
scranton Tribune. The elders have
indeed arrived and commenced busi-
ness by distributing tracts and saying
good word for "the cause" Among
good MANY other things, one of the
tracts states that "the prophet (Joseph
SMITH, martyr of the nineteenth CEN
tury, with others, was the man hon
ored of God, to call all men to re-
pentance, baptizing in the name of
the Lord Jesus Christ" etc. 1t is Just
possible that the peregrinating young
elders are not acquainted with the his
tory and the pranks of the slippery
Joseph, when he had this vicinity for
his stamping ground. IF Joseph was
called of God to call men to repent
ance," he must have changed nightly
since his exodus from this section, for
the general good of the county, and
after the Illinois mob killed him. way
the blunt westerners have of showing
pupic Inc early
settlers of this vicinity were as unan-
imous in the opinion that Joseph was
a flamboyant fakir and a fraud of the
first waters and that all of his works"
including his Bible" or Book OF Nor
mon," were unabridged snides. In
March, 1884, Isaac Hale. Smiths faith
er-in-law who had good reason to
know the fellow well, went before
Iroh ha M
Bend, and made an affidavit, in which
he said "I conscientiously believe that
the whole Book of Mormon (so-called),
Is silly fabrication of falsehood and
wickedness, got up for speculation and
with a design to dupe the credulous
and unwary. and in order that it's fab
ricators might live upon the spoils Of
those who swallowed the deception.
Smith is an imaginative enthusiast,
constitutionally opposed to work." etc
And this is the man whom God used to
call all men to repentance" Well
seldom, hardly! It is said that fool
is born every minute. The woods are
full of them then and the elders may
snare a few. The addle- -pated idiots
never will be missed!
BILL MILLER'S QUEER CATCH.
Bill Miller went fishing in the Sus-
quehanna, near the Cascade, on Satur-
day, and caught fine black bass that
measured thirteen inches from nose to
tip of tail 1t weighed eight pounds,
eleven and one-half ounces. George
caught 1t with a very light line and
marvelled much at it's weight. but on
dressing 1t the popularity was ex-
planned, for in the stomach of the bass
was found large assortment of hooks,
smells, ,line-ricks and patent snap hooks,
full line of sinkers. everything from
split bullets to screws, door keys, little
round pebbles and modern sinkers with
brass wire in the end. The lines to
which they were attached had been
consumed by the process of digestion.
But the most curious thing of all was
a silver watch, with the name of the
maker engraved on its shell, and the
watch was running. The fish was
dressed at 4.45; the watch showed the
hour to correspond with the exact Erie
railroad time. On scientific investiga-
tion 1t was found that the continuous
| action of the stomach upon the leaden
sinkers in its persistent efforts to di-
gest them, caused the muscles to grasp
| the stem of the watch and keep up the
| continuous winding. which accounts for
| the watch still being in operation. At
| tached to the watch was a chain, with
| a compass. The hands of the latter
| showed that the bass was swimming
north when caught
THE NEWS RECORD.
Miss Grace Cochrane, an esteemed
young lady, died at a New York hos
pital on Saturday evening, after an
operation for a throat affection. She
is survived by widowed mother. The
| funeral and interment will occur at
Bethel. N. Y, the former home of the
| family.
Carbondale people will attend en-
masse a big picnic to be held at the
| new jefferson Park. at Burnwood, Au-
gust IS.
Hon. Amos j. Cummings, of New
York, on Friday evening in Hogan
Opera house, delivered an able, elo-
quent and instructive lecture On Cuba
as l Saw It." The lecture was under
the auspices of Christ Episcopal
| church.
Chief of Police Mcmahon, of this
| place, on Sunday morning, at Starruc-
| ca, captured William White, another
| VI lHt pTlSOlltTS NHO from lne
| Binghamton Jail, July 8. White made
| a desperate resistance. but was out
classed. The chief received $25 for the
| capture.
| The Erie shops were on Monday
| placed on seven hours time, a loss of
an hour
THOUGHT 1T WAS A HOTEL.
A number of Carbondale people re-
Gently went 10 Binghamton to see the
| sights. A few OF the eXcmsionists,
after slowing away a few beers, con-
cluded TO take a trip around the city
in the electric cars. In their ramifica-
| tions they saw large white building
| on a hill. Going to the main entrance
the spokesman of the party, address
| ing a man who sat in a chair at the
| top of the stairs, said: Mister, when
| do you have dinner?"
| AT noon," was the prompt reply.
| well" urged the delegate from