Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1898-05-14
WAS 4 CAREFUL DRUMMER.
He wouldn't Give Medical Advice Unless
lie Was Fully Protected.

Excuse me-" said the little man with
the pointed chin-whiskers TO the man
reading a magazine in the seat across
the aisle, but I've been suffering with
toothache for the last hour"
Yes, | suspected it," was the reply.
And didn't know, being you are IA
drummer, but that you might have
something in your grip to alleviate the
Internal nuisance"
yes, may have. Let'ss see. 1 haze
peppermint essence, laudanum, Jamaica
ginger, pain-killer, ammonia, alcohol
and"
"Ill try the pain-killer, if you will be
so kind"
"Yes, Wait a minute, please"
The man OF the grip opened it and
took out a pencil and paper and wrote
u few lines and passed the paper over
with the remark:
Sign that, please. 1t is simply a
statement that you will not hold me or
my heirs financially responsible in case
anything happens to you through my
remedies"
Rather odd document that" said the
man behind him as the chap with the
toothache sat down to dose his tooth.
well, maybe" replied the drummer,
"but it's only a matter of prudence, aft
er all. Three years ago, down at Medi-
ma, a stranger came to me on the depot
platform suffering with the ~toothache.
1T was at night and | had no remedies
handy. | suggested that | tie a string
around the aching tooth and pull it out
and after u little he consented.
"And what?"
81 got n piece of fishline around that
tooth, got a firm hold of the string and
then told him to jump off the platform.
Oh! That was a sad night for mel"
Did the tooth Gomez"
"No."
odd the string breakP"
mo. | braced myself for the shock
and he jumped, and the next thing |
knew | held his head on the end of that
string"
You don't mean that it pulled his
head OFF,"
Il certainly do, sir. Yes, pulled his
head right of and left it dangling on
the string. 1t was really no affair of
mine, but | got u doctor and the Coro-
ner and rode in the front hack at his
funeral and used up nearly a week of
my valuable time. And how was | re-
warded?"
"How? Why, Ills relatives ought to
be eternally grateful to YOU"
"Y-e-s, | know, but i don't think they
will be. His wife sued me for $40, 600
damages for holding the string. and
after two years of having it / settled
with her for SO, 900. That was the sort
of gratitude | met with"
Great Scott! but you don't mean it?"
gasped the man. "Why, that was an
outrage worthy of the days of Nero"
"Yes, but had to submit. 1t won't
happen again, however. I'm willing to
help a sufferer, but he must absolye me
from all legal responsibility. am now
about to take q nip of brandy. If you
will sign a paper that you took it OF
your W free will. and that neither
you o your heirs will hold me-"
Thank you, but ] don't care for
brandy. Jewhittaker - gee, but ii
wasn't four hours ago that / advised a
man to touch up his liver with old rum,
cayenne pepper and vinegar. 'Spozen
it knocks the socks off'n him! Say,
please excuse me. won't you? We are
just coming to Grafton, and I'll drop off
and telegraph him to let his liver go to
blazes and consult a regular doctor,
I've learned something, i have, and
I'll make that telegraph so hot it'll sci
fire to half the poles on the way!"-De.
tron Free Press.