davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1898-01-11
Why Women Cannot
Sleep"
The highly organized
fnely-strung erVo S
system of women sub.

JectS them TO terrorS of nervous apprehen-
sion which no man can ever appreciate
The peace of mind, the mental poise and
calmness under difficulties, which is neces-
sary for happy womanhood is only possible
when the sensitive feminine organism is in
a perfectly healthy condition. If there be
any weakness or arrangement in this re-
spect no remedy i'll the world so COM
pletely restores womanly health, nervous
vigor and capability as the wonderful
" Favorite Prescription " invented by Dr.
r. V. Pierce chief consulting physician of
the Invalids' Hotel and Surgical Institute
of Buffalo, N. Y. 1t purifes, heals and
strengthens; insures functional regularity
provides physical reinforcement and sus-
tanning power at periods Of special weak
ness and depression
1t is the only medicine which makes
the coming of baby safe and comparatively
easy. In a personal letter to DR.. Pierce,
Mrs. Marguerite Collin, of Cutler, Algoma
Co, Ont, says:
II was sufferer and was cured by DR.
Pierce's wonderful medicine. When l COM
menced the medicine ! could neither eat nor
sleep. My hands and feet were constantly cold;
had a wasting, troublesome drain for three
months, and my monthly periods were never
regular I took Dr. Pierce's Favorite Prcscrip-
tion and it cured me. / feel we'll thank the
Worlds Dispensary Medical Association
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1898-01-11
CORRESPONDENCE
ACORN.

ACORN,
JAN. 9.-Revival meetings are now in
progress at the w. N. church; Rev. Col
man is assisting Rev. Bonny.
The ladies' aid society of this place
will meet next Wednesday, at the home
of Mrs. Susie Cass. All invited.
Fred Rowlison, of Spring Arbor. is visit
ing his sister, Mrs. Fred Hammond.
Mrs. VIM. Darrow has returned TO her
home, after spending some months with
her daughter in Gratiot county.
Mics Liza Beebe and children, OF Pitts
ord, spent New Years with her sister,
Mrs. Katie Hively.
There will be Letter" social, held at
Frank Salisbury's Wednesday evening,
for the purpose of buying library for
the school In District No Z.
The l.. T. l.. Of this place was held at
the home of Miss Nellie Hammond last
Saturday.
Mrs. Esther Havens and Mrs. Willard
Raymond are on the sick list.
+. NJ. VanOrsdale's grocery wagon is
once more seen on the road.
Alfred Mann and wife, of Pittsford
were guests of Mrs. Alma Hammond
last Friday afternoon.
Willard Afllerback aud wife, of Pratt
Vile, visited Mrs. Kate Hiyely last
Wednesday.
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1898-01-11
SOMERSET CENTER.

JAN. S.-Our post office changed hands
Friday evening. E. Weatherwax has
dispensed the mail the past four years
and it Is not too much to cay all were
perfectly satisfied during his administra-
tion, but we acknowledge ourselves
subject to the powers tnat be-" and
doubt not we shall be as fully pleased
with our present official, w. f Sawdey,
who has his office fitted up in very neat
and convenient style.
II. G. Sawdey returned to his home In
Coldwater Monday.
Henry Walsh, of Mt. Pleasant. came on
Tuesday to visit with his brother, Or
mand. of Minnesota, who is spending the
winter with his sisters, Mesdanes Belden
and Kelly.
Mrs. Fred Brown entertained the w.
F. M. society Thursday afternoon; q very
pleasant company assembled.
Mrs. Gertie Buck was III the first OF
the week but has recovered so as to be
out again.
Mr.. and Mrs. Scutt, of Wheatland, visit
ed her brother, w. +. Sawdey, Tuesday.
Mrs. James Carleton Is reported as
being slowly recovering.
A troupe is dispensing medicine in
the interest of DR.. Gray's Wonder Work
ers, of Brooklyn, N. Y, occupying Wsr-
ner's store. They give entertainments
each evening to full house.
Master Dud Blown has returned to his
home in Detroit.
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1898-01-11
CENTER MOSCOW.

JAN. S.--Andrew Richards returned
frcm Chicago Tuesday.
Claude st. John was In Jonesville Fri
day.
Fred Simons has returned to Chicago
after visit with his uncle, A. Kies.
Charles st. John is having his new
house grained. Uncle Ian Foster Is do
ing the work.
intention of buying and putting In q 10
barrel roller process Touring mill.
George Chase was In Hillsdale Thurs
day on business.
Mrs. Joe Harwood, who has been iii so
long, we are sorry to say 10 no better.
Mr.. and Mrs. Lewis Wood and Mr.. and
Mrs. George Chase spent New Years
with their father, I. A. Wood, Of Somer.
set, the occasion being his 6sth birthday.
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1898-01-11
NORTH ADAMS.

JAN. S.-J. d. Arnold and wife returned
home last Tuesday evening after nearly
two weeks visit with relatives in the
north part of the state.
l.. L. Tiffany was in Homer last Mon
dav visiting his son, Frank.
Frank Marrow, OF Streator, ILL.,, Is in
North Adams on business and calling on
old friends.
Miss Frankie Voorhies, of Lansing, is
home for short time.
Mr.. and Mrs. George Kinney attended
the 10th annual New Years dinner at j.
). Huff's, In Cambria, last Saturday.
Eighteen years ago Mark w. Taylor,
VIM. r. Bird, Thadius 5. Huff and Geo.
Kinney agreed to eat their Now Years
dinner together as long as they could
make 1t convenient to do 30. With but
two exceptions all with their wives have
gathered around the same table every
succeeding New Years since. The old
boys were comrades in the same regi-
ment and to them these annual gather
ings are very pleasant indeed.
Last evening the Odd Fellows and Re-
bekahs had a supper in their hall and
general social and good time.
Frank Day was in Pittsford Thursday
and Friday.
n. p. Severance and son, of Pittsford
township, were in North Adams last
Tuesday on business.
r. Ii. Jackson is building an addition
on the back end OF his store.
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1898-01-11
JEROME.


JAN. S.-School will begin next Mon
day.
Lucian Walworth made trip to Jack
son last Thursday.
Mrs. s. NJ. Ostrom visited in North
Adams several days last week.
Mr.. and Mrs. G. M. Bross spent Thurs
day In Hillsdale.
The Ladies' Missionary society was
entertained last Thursday by Mrs. VIM.
Alley.
The L. s. & M. s. company have
placed new engine in the elevator,
which will be welcome news to those
wishing to sell wheat here.
w. l.. Bobbin and family have returned
from Deer6eld where they spent New
Years with the family Of VIM. Arm
strong.
A new blacksmith came to tswn last
Thursday and located in the home of
Mr.. and Mrs. Will Hoag.
Mr.. Wilt, the l.. s. & M. s. agent, has
been confined to the house for the last
two weeks with erysipelas, but Is able
TO be out once more.
10 Brazee broke his left arm and dis
located his elbow by falling while piling
wood at the school house last Thurs
day. DIR. Will, assisted by DR.. Traver,
Of Somerset Center, set the arm and IL is
doing we'll.
The new missionary carpet is nearly
completed and samples may be seen In
all the stores. Buy ticket for only ten
cents and Insure good supper at least.
DR.. Will, formerly Of Liberty Mills,
has located ia the north part Of town, In
tho Westover house and Ia giving satis-
faction to all who have employed him.
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1898-01-11
PITT FORD.

Jan. S.-Mrs. Stephen Turner was able
to get to town one uay this week.
Miss Jessie Knapp, of Hudson, is home
on a visit to her parents, {. Knapp and
wife.
Miss Mrytle Day. of North Adams, is
visiting friends In this place.
About 80 friends of G. A. Powell gave
him q surprise at his pleasant country
hone Monday evening.
Miss Ethel Cattelle has returned to
her home at Three Rivers after short
visit with friends In this place.
Miss Myrta Marshall went to Litch-
field last week where she has been en-
gagged to teach school.
Mrs. Sloan and daughter, Mrs, Rush,
of Locust, were in town Thursday.
G. w. Case called on friends In Hills
dale Monday.
DR.. w. II. Chivers, OF Jackson, called
on friends in this place yesterday.
Mrs. Ed. Gray, of Center Adams, Miss
Sadie Stafford, of Sheridan, and Miss
Edith Hawley, of Hillsdale, we're guests
of Mrs. j. Ii. Travis one day last week.
Ray Van Vert, of South Adams, is in
town on business to-day.
Mrs, +. Z. Knapp entertained her
brother, Frank Allen, OF Reading, Sun
day.
Jas. Van Marter and family are enter
taining Mr.. and Miss Peck, of Lapeer
for few days.
Miss Elsie Bailey is expected home
from her visit at Fremont, Ind, soon.
Harry Williams, of Wheatland, was in
town on business Thursday.
Mr.. and Mrs. Gilbert Travis, Of South
Adams, are the guests OF their son, j. ii.
Travis.
g. A. Powell expects to return to his
studies at Detroit the first of next week.
Lester Andrews has purchased the
Field property and expects to occupy 1t
soon.
Mrs. 8. A. Maxwell has returned from
a two weeks visit with friends at Madi-
son, Wis.
DR.. +, M. Stearns entertained his faith
er-in-law, Mr.. Russell, OF Ransom, Thurs
day.
Mrs. Amelia Sllvernail aud daughter,
Mrs. Layton Severance, were called to
Pioneer to attend the funeral OF rela-
tive one day this week.
M. M. Whicher and son, Lewie, oil
Wheatland, were In town Thursday.
Mrs. Cornelius Vandy, of Locust, Is
calling on friends In this place TO day.
Miss Rosa Shark has gone to Clayton
to spend few weeks
VIII Plsyford Is quite siek a. present
writing,
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1898-01-11
ROUTH ALLEN.

JAN. S.-The citizens of this place were
somewhat shocked last Monday morning
on learning that we were minus post
master, he having left Sunday night with
out permission.
James Weeks has a new horse aud
buggy.
There will be dance at the hall next
Tuesday evening. Music by Prof. Smith.
WI. Thompson called on friends In
Butler last Monday and Tuesday.
+. A. Roethlisberger was In town on
business Monday.
School commences Monday.
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1898-01-11
JONEsvII.LE

JAN. SIS. w. Glasgow has bought
the Fuller residence on East street, and
will make II bis home soon.
Prof X. g. Coryell, Of Detroit, was In
town Monday,
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1898-01-11
SOMERSET.

JAN. S.-fhe annual meeting and roll
call of the church was held Monday
evening, and was largely attended. 56
persons responded to their names with a
verse of Scripture, either In person or by
one who was present. The whole made
a very impressive meeting. Reports were
presented from the various organic ations
Of the church, showing them all to be In
a prosperous condition. The treasurer's
report showed that 1888 had been raised
during the year for home expenses, and
$S1 for benevolence, with the indebted
ness mostly paid, or provided for. Hon.
f. III. Smith, who Is one OF the few sur
viving charter members, presided.
The week of prayer was observed with
meetings Wednesday, Thursday and Fri
day evenings.
A saw mill has been set up on Leroy
Smiths land, and railroad ties sawed out
and hauled to the station by Leroy Smith,
Frank Smith, f. b. Dawson, G. Z. Strong
and others.
Mrs. Orson Dawson was in Hillsdale
few days this week,
Mrs. Chapman returned to her home In
Cleveland Tuesday.
Mrs. HAYNES and Walter Rogers have
been laid up with rheumatism the past
week.
The infant son of Mr.. Lewis was buried
from the home of John Odell Thursday
afternoon.
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1898-01-11
A Good Name

for honest and literal treatment OF GUS
toners Is the reason of our increasing
business. Albaugh & Son, jewelers. and
opticians.
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1898-01-11

Mr.. and Mrs. George Durga gave a
party to their friends last Wednesday
night. About 40 were present
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1898-01-11
SAND LAKE.

JAN. S.-J. NJ. Tyler and family, of st..
Joseph, Mo-, have come to spend the
winter with his father, Alonzo Tyler.
ID. M. Older is staying with his brother,
W. Y. Older, who is very low at the
present writing
Master Roy Older was on the sick list
the fore part Of the week.
Mrs. Jones, of Arkansaw, spent Thurs
day with Mrs. Carrie Nance.
Mrs. Lima Ben jamin spent Wednesday
at A. Schick's. She will move to her
former home in Milwaukee in about two
weeks.
Mrs. Lottie Tyler spent Saturday and
Sunday with A. Tyler and family.
Mrs. Susan Chase spent Friday with
friends In Hillsdale.
Miss Sarah Morgan will commence
echool at Hillsdale college next Tuesday.
Miss Margaret Schick commenced
school at Hillsdale last Monday after q
two weeks vacation.
Lawrence Chase and aunt have been
spending this week with friends at Jack
son.
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1898-01-11
HOXIE.
From another Correspondent.

FROM another correspondent.
JAN. S.-Miss Julia Peck visited Mae
Chapman Saturday.
Miss Myra Beecher is visiting friends
in Adrian.
Frank Youngs and daughter, Mae, of
Somerset, were guests of Dan Oxbrough
and family Monday.
Myra Chapman is entertaining her
cousin, Mrs. Corey, of North Adams,
John Lee and Julia Peck visited in
Stafford Monday.
Miss Edith Peck, of Church, and Miss
Lena Ferguson, of Weston, visited Julia
Peck Tuesday.
L. H. Bailey, township treasurer, will
be at Hoxie post office Tuesday, Jan. H.,
to receive taxes.
The Ladies' Aid society of this place
met with Rev. and Mrs. I. w. Wallace
at Wheatlaud, last Wednesday. All re
port pleasant time.
Julia Peck visited Edith lockwood, of
Hillsdale, few days last week.
Mrs. ID. w. Hoxie and Lulu Beecher
spent Wednesday with Mrs. Joseph
Beecher.
Mr.. and Mrs. Joseph Birdsall visited
at j. Hicks Wednesday evening.
Ray Irish Is quite sick.
Z. o. Beecher and family spent Friday
evening at d. w. Hoxie's.
Ora Cronk has been buzzing wood for
John Hicks.
s. Choate has been drawn as Juror for
the ensuing term of court.
w. A. Wells and wife entertained Mr..
and Mrs. Gowdy, J. L. Bagley and wife,
Of North Adams and Mr.. and Mrs j. j.
Wells, last Friday.
Mrs. Myra Chapman, Mrs Mary
Corey, Harry Hsyhoe. and Chas. Cox,
attended the dance at Mrs. Clara Hutch
ms Thursday night.
Dan Obrough is working In Somerset
this week
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1898-01-11
JEFFERSON.


JAN. S.-Howard Lamb Is studying
telegraphy In Osseo.
Mr.. and Mrs. Ernest Clark spent Sun
day with his sister, Vernia, In West
Unity, Ohio
The Sloan reunion was held at the
residence of Mr.. and Mrs. Wilber Britton
New Years day. 1t was beautiful day
and all had good time. Mr.. and Mrs.
Will Rush will entertain the family at
Locust next New Years.
Mrs. M. l.. Roson Is still quite sick.
Mr.. and Mrs. Charley Schick have
gone to their new home at Marshall: 1t is
very lonely at home without Minnie.
Her brother, Frank, and Will Bassett,
have the day set when they are going
to visit her.
1t would not take much snow now to
make good sleighing.
Dell Eldrige and family expect to
move back on Mart Roson's farm in the
spring.
Alfred Way was very much surprised
last Friday evening when about twenty
six of his friends and schoolmates came
to spend the evening with him. They
all had very pleasant time playing
games and eating popcorn and caudy.
Miss Coral Elliott is on the sick list.
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1898-01-11

Chss. Wood and have family moved to
the hotel from the rooms over 8. w.
Lyons drug store.
Ben Turner and family spent q few
days with friends at Hudson this week.
Miss Mayme Carolyn Fuller, dramatic
reader and monologue artist, gave an en-
tertainment at the M, Z. church last
evening.
Mrs. Chas. Blount and sister, Miss
Lenta Adams, visited friends at North
Adams one day this week.
Rev. Geo. Millard and wife, Of From
tier, were guests of DR.. F. IN. Stearns
and family q few days this week.
Slant Nichols was in Hudson yester-
day.
Rev. p. j. Maveety, presiding elder,
was here to attend the quarterly con-
ference at the Union church, South
Pittsford, Thursday evening.
The Standard Oil Company wagon OF
Hillsdale was in town Tuesday deliver.
Ing oil to some OF the merchants.
John Shuts and wife are entertaining
their daughter, Martha, Of Clayton, for a
short time.
The week of prayer has been observed
in the w. NJ. church this week. The at
tendance has been quite good.
James Duryea and mother, of Osseo,
visited friends in this place Tuesday.
Mrs. o. A. Cole entertained the Ladies'
Aid society of the M. E. church Wednes-
day.
John Hunker, Of South Adams. was
the guest of friends in this place Tuss-
day.
A. J. Beard and wife, of Locust, made
a business trip to this place Wednesday.
B. l.. Dillon and wife returned to their
home at Lyons the first of the week.
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1898-01-11
LITCHFIELD.


JAN. S.-Miss Jessie Rice, of Elkhart,
Ind, is visiting her sister, Mrs. Henry
Caldwell.
Mr.. and Mrs. John Dean returned on
Thursday from visit to friends in Day
ton, Ohio.
Mr.. and Mrs. w. T. Gibbs visited
friends in Homer Monday.
Mr.. and Mrs. +. Z. Church visited
friends in Reading Friday.
Reuben Whitney left on Saturday for
Conklin to visit his parents.
The social leld at George Anderson's
on Friday eveniag was well attended.
c. III. Finistsr has received an increase
of pension.
The funeral services of Mrs. Elijah
Chapman will be held at the Baptist
church Sunday at 2p.m
Rev. Blossom will preach at the Bap.
tist church Sunday.
All men are cordially invited 70 be
present at the meetings OF the Young
Mems Christian League, which are held
Sundays, at $50 p. m, at the Baptist
church.
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1898-01-11

Cards are out announcing the mar
riage Of s. FL. Marks, Of this place, and
Miss Eva Missel. January 20, at the
home of the brides parents In Detroit.
Miss Annie Baker spent part of the
week at Coldwater.
Mr.. and Mrs. q. G. France returned
from the east, Monday.
Mr.. and Mrs. Walter Owen. of De-
troit, visited Mrs. VIM. Sinclair this
week.
Mrs. Emma Bailey, of Coldwater,
spent Sunday with her parents, Mr.. and
Mrs. N. Demorest.
Miss Ida FL, Blois, Of Wayne, ILL.,, is a
guest at the home of j. w. Button and
other friends.
Mr.. and Mrs. r. G. Williamson spent
New Years with Mr.. and Mrs. G. c.
Jones, at Quincy.
Mrs. Anna Butz left on Thursday for
an extended visit in Texas, California,
Washington and other parts Of the west.
Q. North, of Elkhart, Ind, was the
guest Of j. =. Lewis the first of the week.
Meetings at the Presbyterian church
have been largely attended this week.
There is interest enough to warrant
their continuance next week.
VIM. Walters, of Chicago, called on
friends here Thursday.
Ed. Gilmer and Lena Johnson were
married, December 20, by Rev. j. T. Ew-
ing.
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1898-01-11

Our Tailoring Department
will be closed shortly, so
come now before you lose
the opportunity of your life.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1898-06-23
PROVERBS.

Here are few translated from the
German:
An old man who marries young
wife invites Death to his wedding.
Liberty is from God, liberties from
the devil.
On him who does not become hand
some before twenty, strong before thir-
ty, wise before forty and rich before
fifty, hops and malt are wasted.
There is no wherefore without a be-
cause.
Don't depend too much on old
houses and new friends.
He who does not wish to grow old
may get himself hung while young.
There is but short bridge between
JOY and sorrow.
The lazy hustle toward evening.
Lawyers and soldiers are the devils
playmates.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1898-06-23

such an enchantment to the Kentucky
tonic that we fear many of the troops
would rather attack it than the Span
ds.-Faribault Pilot.
Ex-Mayor Doran of st. Paul has sug-
gested a dog census for that city.
Mayor Kiefer Will have plenty of
trouble without springing any canine
tricks on him.-Stillwate Gazette.
Time at last makes all things even
"a book canvasser fell into sewer at
St. Paul yesterday and the last words
said were: Remember the MAIN
Saltwater Gazette.
Tennessee has sent an officer to the
front who rejOices in the title and
name of Col. Frank Satan. Good
enough. Didn't Sherman say "War is
HE'LL and isn't that the proper place
for Satan ?-Princeton Union.
1t may be correctly stated that the
newspaper that furnishes its readers
Boiled war news" is warm member.
-ChOkiO Times.
Yes, and love for the bottle has lost
many man a good position. Cervera's
love for port may yet lead to his ruin.
GAINESVILLE Argus.
Philanthropic Caller lat jaip-"My
friend, have you any religious convic-
tiOns?
Avery Baddun-"Well, I reckon
that's what you might call 'em. l was
sent here for robbing church,
North West Magazine.
"Now, Thomas" said a certain
bishop, after taking his servant to task
one morning, "who is it that sees all we
do and hears all we say and knows all
we think, and whoregards even in my
bishops robes as but a vile worm of
the dust?" And Thomas replied, "The
missus, siry'-Christian Register.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1898-06-23
WAR NOTES.

The Philippine rebels have set up a
government of their own with Aguln'
aldo as president. 1t is rumored that
they burn their prisoners alive. They
are supposed to be our allies.
Gen. Skaters expedition has arrived
off Santiago.
1t is said the stuff in that bottle has
begun to work
Blanco has fatty refused to exchange
the Merrimac crew. It is supposed
they know too much about the situa'
ton at Santiago.
The United States has declared war
against several steamship companies
or the Pacific coast. So far the com
panies have lost several steamers
which will be used in transporting
troops to the Philippines.
Threats of interference in the Phil.
ippines by several powers, especially
Germany, have freely been made the
past week, and as often denied.
We have it on reliable authority that
the United States is at war with Spain
The information is not credited in
many quarters.
Gen. Shafter with $4,000 soldiers has
left Tampa, Fla, on an excursion to
the south coast of Cuba, in order to
get away from the mosquitoes and cor
respondents.
The most reliable information in the
daily papers indicates that there are
from $500 to $4,000 Spanish troops at
Santiago. Of course there may be
more or less.
1t is said that in spite of the terrific
bombardment of the forts of Santiago,
the batteries there have been much
strengthened. An entertaining time is
promised when Uncle Sans boys get
ready for business in these parts.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1898-06-23

hands on mine across the table. A
shudder seemed to pass through her
and then she began to talk to me IN a
changed voice, and in the dialect OF a
Navajo Indian maiden.
81 became curious about the past
history of Juanita, and she told me
that r was a fine brave and would like
to kiss me.
81 said that the obstacles in the way
on account of her lack of material
kissing apparatus made me sad.
'She said that needn't make any diff
ference and proceeded to put her threat
into execution.
81 fled, for verify the medium was
old and hOmely."
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1898-06-23
@loKFq|:'|a!!@1 NeX1@liSISs:

The happiest period in wo mans
life is when she is making her we'd
ding garments? The saddest is when
the husband comes home late at night
and yells to throw out handful of
keyholes of various sizes.-St. Louis
Humorist.
The Lakefeld Standard says about
our retired editor. That, in a double
sense, he retires from the labors of the
pen. That the Madelia Messenger
thinks it accords with the eternal tit
ness of things that miss, kiss and bliss
rhyme together. That matrimony, acri-
mony and alimony also rhyme together.
That the Saltwater pen is mightier
than the sword
Compositors are the only people put
ting any capital in Spain these days,
and they have to do so as there would
be trouble in the Office if they at
tempted to keep it "down."-Ex.
MIR. McGinty is said to have come up
from the bottom of the sea because he
doesn't want to associate with the
Spanish navy.-Glenwood Lakeside
Press.
Even the Kentucky distillers are
manifesting their patriotism. They
have offered fifty thousand bottles
of whiskey to our troops invading
Cuba. The Kentucky tonic is war
ranted to kill all malarial, yellow and ty.
phoid fever germs and bacilli. There is