The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1898-06-09
-EPlSTLEs TO ST. paul.

81 am reminded. by observing the fact that
1t cost something like $24.5O to transmit a
cablegram from Manila, of a couple of re-
markable condensations that I have had
handed down to me by an ancestry that had
to do with the licking of Spaniards ard
Others said Irwin Beaumont
81 think that it was Lord Nelson WHO.
| having licked Spanish feet and being de-
serious of sending the nsws home without
wasting his time In the peaceful pur-
suit of typewriting sent this single
word to the admiralty at home. 'Carthari-
des. which some learned junior lord of the
admiralty easily translated as Spanish
fly
''When Lord Give was in India he used to
abbreviate his messages greatly in order that
they might be semitic headquarters by sema-
phore. He went after the city of Sind and
finally captured it. He announced the vict7ry
in the Latin word 'Peccavi.' 1 am informed
that it didn't take minute to translate that
L have sinned.'
Another general whose name 1 have for
gotten, and who was stronger in his Latin
laid siege to and finally captured the City Of
Dude, in the Orient. He announced the vic
tory by the sending of the single word
'Vove.' 1t took them some time, but they
got it when they pronounced the translation
distinctly, have vowed"
1t having been intimated by the Phlistine
that George Finn moved out ON Feronia ave-
nue. because he thought that it was spelt
Fer O'Na Mr.. Finn puts right and justi-
fies his removal by giving his true reasons
for moving to Merriam Park. He puts his
reasons. under different heads and says:
"First-To benefit the street railway COM
pary by causing sordid-minded and over
anxious creditors to expend much car-fare.
"Second-To evade the assessor.
"Third-To enjoy the calm delights of a
truly rural neghborhood into which the de-
mon rum has never entered-except by the
side door and brewery wagons.
"Fourth-to save the expense of a sum-
mer's vacation for my family.
"Fifth-To secure the benefits and ad-
vantages of last car which leaves down
town at 1 O'Clock a. m.
"And further, 1 have been deceived as to
the name of the lake or pond facing my
home on Feronia avenue.
"First-I was led to believe that Feronia
with the accent on the 90 was distinctive
ly Irish name.
"Second-I was led to believe that tie lake
or pond aforesaid named Lake Irish, a
delusion that was caused or strengthened by
planted a fringe of lilacs laylocks round
it's lower margin, and employing an Irish
gardener. who wears lay locks or Galways.
The lake is really named Iris, which Web
sters dictionary defines as a membrane
stretched vertically at the anterior part of
the eye in the midst of the aqueous humor
and perforated by a circular opening called
the pupil Webster also says Iris may
mean a rainbow or genus of bulbous or
| tuberous- rooted plant; but. as there is no
rainbow there and no such plants, the name
must, in this case. mean the other thing;
and this is borne out by there being about
two feet of aqueous humor in the lake, and
it Is perforated by stand pipe in the center
which shoots out aqueous humor continually.
These facts detract immensely from the ro-
mantle character Of the spot. and, as lover
of aesthetic beauty and an ardent admirer
of the eternal fitness Of the cosmos, I would
suggest that the name of this lake be chang
ed to irish The change would be inexpen-
sive. and it would make difference and
promote immigration"