davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1898-10-23

houYs is 6irt WIN ne Hi, Sic shuf-
ned tho card9 Tor while and then cut
them and said:
"Sir, you are married man!
Yves" was the reply.
Il see trouble before you-lots Of
trouble. Are you interested in any
speculation"
Not exactly"
"If you were interested in any par
ticular speculation 1 should say that
you were going to lose by it."
'But I'm not"
Lets see An event is coming which
will change the whole tenor of your
life. You are ON the eve of making a
great discovery. Soon after the discov-
cry is made you will travel"
well. what sort of discovery" he
asked.
Il should say that you are going to
find certain documents. No, they are
letters. You are going to find them in
your own house. They are-let me see
they are letters written to your wife,
and you come across them in her
bureau"
Love letters?"
IT think they are. Yes, they are love
letters, but she claims they were writ
ten to her by brother. You do not
believe it. There is quarrel, and you
set out and travel, probably to get a
divorce. You must brace yourself up
for this trouble and meet it like a
man. Next"
All of us took the matter with a
laugh, understanding that the "astrol-
ogist" was trying to even up accounts,
and the victim was perfectly good-na-
tured over it. An hour later, as we two
sat in the smoking compartment,
jokingly asked him if he believed in
fortune telling, and he replied
There seems to be something in 1t,
though it is considerably mixed up
"You don't mean that the lady hit
anything?" :,
81 mean that she got things reversed.
1t was my wife who found the love
letters in my pocket and raised the
row, and yesterday she started for Da-
kota to get divorce, and I'm going to
Ogden to see about placing the children
in a school"
didn't ask any more questions, and
we had smoked away for five minutes
in silence, when he observed:
eyes, there seems to be something IN
it-enough for divorce or two!'
Copyright 1898, by the international
Literary and News Service)
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1898-10-23

day. l made the fight of my life on
that bill, sah-the fight of my life. On
one occasion l spoke for fo'teen hours
on a stretch, and on another eleven.
If my memory serves me right | is
sued nine challenges and accepted six.
l made twelve set speeches, won over
twenty-five weekly papers and ad-
journed the Senate eight different times
when the opposition had fixed things
to down me. At length l came to
know the head and front of the oppo-
sition was the Governor himself, and
that he had used certain disparaging
remarks of personal nature. | called
on him at eleven o'clock at night. He
refused to come down and open the
doah, but stuck his head out of a
chamber window and asked my bust
ness.
Governor says I, is the report
that you have referred to me as Wis
ionary noodle-head correct?'
1T is he promptly replied.
Will you give me satisfaction
"I will"
"'Can / hope to greet you in the field
of honah at sunrise?'
You can, ana now get out or ii
whistle for the police.
That was the sort of Governor we
had, sah," explained the Kurnel in an
injured tone, and it may not surprise
you to hear that he reached the duel
ling ground next morning with a crow
bar on his shoulder. Yes, sab, come to
fight a duel with nigger's crow-bar,
and he was even abusive about it. AS
a gentleman l could not resort to such
vulgar weapon. Indeed, sab, as a
gentleman l could not fight at all with
a person who resorted to such prac-
tees. l turned my back on him, sab
turned my back and walked OFF the
field and denied that l had ever heard
his name. l went further, sab. AS a
prominent member of the Senate my
honah forbade me further relations
with the Governor, and 1 promptly
packed up my belongings and went
home for the rest of the session. My
Purge Bill was dead. of co'se, and I
was no longer on hand to defend it, but
the day may come, sah--the day may
come"
when what, Kurnel?" I asked.
He looked mournfully at his empty
glass and famed himself with his
hat
Copyright, 1898. by the International
Literary and News Service.)
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1898-10-23
HE WILL GET OVER 1T.

Judge said the mother whose boy
was on trial for robbery. che never
meant to DO that-never in the world. :"
But he broke into warehouse"
protested his honor.
HE never meant to-"
And he rolled out barrel Of
sugar"
But it was just his thoughtlessness,
Judge"
lie hadn't ought to be thought
less"
But that's his way, sir. Why, many
and many a time he's come home and
turned me out doors and smashed up
the furniture when he thought he was
over at the ball grounds swinging a bat
for hot one He's that bsent-minded
that il you send him to prison ten to one
he'll think he's taken q place a. cashier
In tobacco storsi"
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1898-10-23

rhe Psncs 81 1own Distur6ea ~ the
Profano Blrds.
All FIatbush reeks with profanity
and one policeman is in dire distress on
account Of threats made by indignant
citizens to report him to the police
headquarters for not stopping it. One
man is in the hospital with a broken
head. and two old time friends are now
at swords points. These and other
minor complications have been caused
by three unregenerate parrots that
have escaped from their owners and
Joined forces to the discomfort OF citi-
zens of that part of Greater New
York. This is the story as 1t comes
to the Sun:
A handsome but depraved bright
green bird belonging to William Wer-
ner. of East Eighth street, is the leader
Of the trio. 1t escaped from its cage
on Sunday morning and perched on a
tree near Werner's house. Warner
talked parrot talk to it for fifteen
minutes, tying to induce it to return,
but the parrot cackled derisively. Car
milo Jackman, coachman for MIR. Wer-
ner, tried to climb the tree. He fell
twenty feet to the ground and was re-
moved to the hospital. The parrot
chortled in unrighteous glee and flew
Off, politely telling his pursuers in no
gentle tones to "go to hell"
Nothing more was heard Of the bird
until Thursday morning, when it flew
to a tree near the home Of James
Deighan, in Vernon avenue. Deighan
has a parrot that is the pride of his
heart, and an animated conversation
took place between the two birds.
"Therell be a hot time in the old
town tonight" sang Werner's parrot,
and Deighans bird evidently believed
it. The two flew away together. Deig-
han offered a reward Of ten dollars for
it's recovery, and small boys began to
shin up all the trees in the neighbor-
hood. The parrots, with great dis
elimination, flew from tree to tree,
scattering cuss words as they went.
At know how to get that bird of yours
back" quoted Patrick Hageman to
Deighan, "but l amt sure you'd pay
me-"
Get the bird and you'll get your
money" retorted Deighan.
Like hell you WILL" interrupted
Deighan's parrot. You're blinkety-
dinked dashed BANKED stiff"
"Your bird seems to know you,
said Mr.. Hageman, sarcastically. "If
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1898-10-23
"KURNEL BUNKER. I"
His Bill Was Good One, But 1t Didn't
Pass the Arkansas Legislature.

His Bill Was a Good One, But 1t Didn't
Pass the Arkansas Legislature.
every fair, sah-very fair for this
season of the year." said Kurnel Bun
ker, as he drained his glass and set it
on the railing of the veranda. ''And
now, sab, you want to hear about what
was called 'Kurnel Bunker's Purge
Bill, which would have made para
disc of the State of Arkansaw had it
become law. The State of Arkansaw,
sab, as you may have observed, is the
natural home Of the mosquito, the gall
linipper and several varieties of flies.
1t has been my proud boast, and the
proud boast of other prominent resi-
dents of the State, that only within the
confines of the State does the horse-fy
reach a luxuriant extravaganza of
growth. Here he passes the fly stage
at the age of four weeks and becomes
rather a bird of prey. Here you find
the gallinipper at his best-here the
mosquito would be able to pull down a
young chicken il the summer lasted a
month longer. In a way, sab, as show
ing what nature can do and does for us,
speak of these insects with pride; but
on the other hand am compelled to
realize that they are drawback to
civilization and progress. 1t was for
this reason that l introduced the cele-
brated Purge Bill. OF co'se you saw it
referred to in the press at the timer"
He waited for me to reply, but l was
30 long about it that he bestowed a
glance of pity and continued:
after extensive reading and many
experiments / framed and introduced
my bill I have several printed copies
at home, and will mail you one to-mor-
row. The bill, sab, provided for the
purchase and use of one million dollars
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1898-10-23

DO youT' ~ asked ID voice 10 changed
that she half started up.
Just ADJUST few
That Is. l have impetuously rushed
into this and that and made a fool and
a laughing stock of myself"
Il mean nothing Of that sort. simply
mean that you have made few silly ex-
periments. believe you figured up that
the milk cost US thirty cents a quart"
Never! Never figured any such thing!
You have got your cows mixed up
but you were just laughing about pay
ing $40 for an old cow that soon went dry
Not a laugh, Mrs. Bowser-not a
laugh! Let me remind you that 1 paid $40
for COW which turned out to be the best
investment I ever made. / think 1 made
$50 on that deal. When you set out to
! point out my mistakes, please stick to the
TRUTH
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1898-10-23

ron vak ne to get your parrot you've
got e deposit the money
TN Rve you IN court" shouted
Deighan s"you cant insult me-
60 onAgo on yelled Werner's par
rot DeigAan's bird solemnly scratch
ed its bill with its LEFT claw and
sang soft md low, Il love Rosie
o'Grady and Rosie o'Grady loves me-"
Just then tie policeman appeared on
the scene.
"Phwhat's all this here?, he demand
ed with dignity. "fhwat divil av
row are yez kickin' M just for a polly
parrot. Shure. butnl bird wild sich
an iligent shade av color will come
down aisy. Kape your Dyes on me.
Here, Polly, purity Polly, come here.
darlint, an oi'll give yez a cracker
ITO hell with your cracker" obsery-
ed Werner's parrot.
Cheese it, the cop," squealei Deic-
hans parrot. "Oh. say, mommer. buy
me one"
Both birds rolled on their perches
in paroxysms of high-keyed laughter.
Police! Police! Police. Help." YELL
ed the Werner bird, and they went in
to another fit.
"Ye domned insultin' bastes, ut's a
shame yez are to the Crane yez wear.
Take that" shouted the police, and
hurled his club at the two parrots.
They flew away with a torrent of
curses and abuse that made the police
mans hair stand ON end.
These two parrots went to the home
OF Augustus Spence, at No. SIS Pros
pect street, and induced his parrot to
escape and come with them. Since
then the three birds have been terribly
ing the people by holding vulgar and
profane conventions in the tops OF
trees. No place is safe for the good
little children of Flatbush.
The police have been asked to take
a hand in the matter and bring the
immoral offending creatures either to
justice or an early death. There are
some unfeeling citizens in Flatbush
who hope the parrots will choose the
latter Internationally York Sun.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1898-10-23

Did you notice what the weather is to
be Tomorrow" she carelessIy queried.
And I built a hen coop and kept hens
ha! ha. hat" he went on, as he grew more
good natured. Two roosters, you know.
and both Growing at the same time for
midnight and daylight. Do you remember
how Davis used TO cuss and swear, and
how Thompson was going to blow up the
coop with dynamite? Say, when 1 did
those things
And Mr.. Bowser slapped both legs and
laughed loud and long over the recollec-
tion. When he had got his breath again,
he asked
Did you ever count up the number of
fads I have INDUCED IMP
mo, indeed" she replied
But I've had a dozen of EN-
"They didn't do any great harm. Shall
we go out somewhere this evening""
What would you say were my great
est mistal2es?" he persisted, worrying at
the subject like a dog at an old boot leg.
Mrs. Bowser saw that there was no es-
cape from row unless she tainted away,
and as she couldn't do that without : bet
ter excuse she thought for a moment and
then replied:
You nave some curious fancies, like
plenty of other men, but they brought no
harm. 1t was funny that you should
take up mind reading"
so it was-ha, ha, har'
'And you were determined to ride a BIZ
cycle
Yes I knowr'
"And you felt called upon to run for po-
Mtical office. and every vote you got cost
you s.. However, as said. all men have
their fads and fancies, and ali get over
them after a while. am glad You have
gotten over yours"
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1898-10-23
HE WAS CONVINCED.

Mrs. Hayricks-It says here In the
paper, Silas. that this war has served
to bring the people of our country
closer together. DO you think there's
any truth in 1t?
Mr.. Hayricks-Yes. When I looked
into the parlor last night Lieutenant
Striplings and our Annie was sittin' a
good deal closer together than / ever
seen 'em afore he went away.-Chicago
News.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1898-10-23
SHE GOT THINGS Mixed.

The train had run into a snow bank
and been stalled, and when we found
we would have to wait for several hours
the passengers in the parlor car re-
sorted to various expedients to pass
away the time. By and by one of the
ladies was coaxed to tell fortunes with
cards, and all were interested at once.
The first victim was let OF very easy,
but the second happened to be man
who had tried his best for several
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1898-11-11
STORM ON THE BIC LAKES
Schooners Are Foundering and
Men Are Perishing.
BATTLING WITH WAVES
re Storm Il General. n Great Anxiety
Is Felt for shipping-The Life Saw
ing Crews Are Kept Busy
All Along the Coast

Chicago. Nov. 10.-Heavy storms pre-
vail over Lakes Michigan and Erie. On
the AXE front near Lincoln park to-day
the schooner Iron Cliff was sunk and
the crew were saved after a hard bat
tie with wind and waves. On Lake
Erie near the Point Peiee lighthouse
the steamer J. j. Donaldson lost two
of her consorts during the night. Zach
had a crew of about six men. Ii Is
feared the missing boats foundered.
Reports from Detroit. Cleveland and
other ports show that the storm is gen.
eral and anxiety for shipping is felt.
The schooner Lena NJ. Nelson ground
ed on the beach near st. Joseph. Mo.
Four of the crew of ten were rescued
whe the schooner fioated off. disabled.
The life saving crew are following her
in an effort 10 save the remainder OF
the crew.
Sand Beach, Mich. Nov. 10.-A
steamer supposed to be the SCHOOL,
craft. with three barges in tow. parted
company with her c~onsort of this port
to-day during the heavy storm. The
barge is going ashore five miles from
here and the other two are running
down the lake before the gale with sails
set. The life saving crew has gone TO
the rescue in h surf boat.
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1898-11-11
SEVERAL CLOSE FINISHES
Felts. Silver Republican. Prob
ably Defeated Hill. Democrat.
MISS CAREY WINS OUT
Nellie Doherty Brings a Breach OF Prom
he Suit Against Henry Dshlman.
\ Placing Her Damages at $780,
ooo-Current vents.
upeciai Dispatch to the Standard.

special Dispatch "a the Standard.
p Boulder. Nov. 1o.-The latest count
for Jefferson county. with but four
small precincts missing. gives Camp
bell ses. Hogan $40. Marshall IS; Penn
berton $50. Brantly 4es. The contest
between Felts. silver republican for the
legislature. and Hill. democrat. Is yet
very close. the vote at present stand
ing: Feits 66l. Hill $50, with the
chances that other precincts will give
Felts a small majority. The contest
eetween William and Marks for asses
cor, Is yet undecided, the former being
one vote ahead at present. The contest
between Miss Carev democrat. and
Miss Filcher. silver republican. Tor
county superintendent. which was un-
decided at the time of report yes
terday. is yet close. but Miss Carey
Is probably the winner by about 20
votes.
Papers In a suit hat will attract con-
siderable attention. were filed IN the
district court to-day. being a breach
Of promise case, with Miss Nellie Do
herty as plaintiff n Henry Dahlman
a. defendant. Mr.. Dahlman Is n or
the owners of the Gray Eagle mine
near here, which is a very profitable
property, and Miss Doherty was en-
pIoyed in the boarding house at the
min Since the alleged breach OF faith
Mr.. Dahlman married a Boulder young
lady, and returned from his wedding
trip but a few weeks ago.. She places
her damages at $500 o and Y. t. Cason
of Butte In her attorney.
The board OF county commissioners
will meet Monday to canvass the vote
OF the county. II Is not known III Mr..
Fergus. the chairman OF the board, is
sufficiently recovered from his acci-
dent as to be able to attend.
A new bridge. costing o 5000.
IL nearly completed across the Jener-
son river near Willow creek. IL viii
accommodate travel that would other
wise have to cross at Three Forks or
Jefferson Island. Material Is on the
ground for another. but smaller, bridge
across the Boulder river at Flaherty's.
Samuel Mackey has bonded his mine,
the Baltimore. in the Comet district. 10
Mr.. Davidson OF Butte. the amount be-
ing $50. 900 and the time n year.
Deputies from the sheriff's office have
been out to-day looking for an insane
man who jumped from a moving train
last evening. He was In charge OF the
sheriff of Cascade county on his way TO
the asylum. and as the train began TO
slow up for Basin he escaped from Gus
tody and jumped of. He will certainly
be found. II he does not wander into the
mountains and perish from cold and
exposure. because OF his Identity being
easily established. having but one arm.
He Is about IS years of age.
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1898-11-11
IN CUSTER COUNTY.
Special Dispatch 10 the Standard.

Special Dispatch 20 the Standard.
Miles City. Nov. 10.-This county
gives Marshall about go majority, n
the balance Of the state ticket the
same. The democrats acknowledge the
defeat of Brown for the legislature and
the balance of the ticket, except Cato,
for sheriff. and Schwartz. for treasurer.
Cato is now ahead two votes, with
seven precincts TO heal from. of about
100 votes. The republicans have con-
ceded Schwartz election, but do not
give up on the sheriff. owing to Haw-
kins' running independent. The cross
fire has been between the w banks
after the county funds. Cato, for sher-
III. would have a large majority IL
Hawkins. independent, had not run.
The republicans cut Glib badly. There
is great rejoicing here over saving one
democrat with more n a possibility
OF two, but there IL regret that Custer
county could not appreciate the serv-
ices of Captain Brown.
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1898-11-11

fever has had it's run. 1t Is the most
dif1cult problem to solve. but we are
sure you and General Shafter, with the
aid Of the surgeons in charge, will do
all that can be done"
General Miles replied hat he had an
ticipated the advice to the troops at
Porto Rico or an adjacent island. He
also telegraphed General Henry at
Siboney n Admiral Sampson that the
enemy had surrendered. He added
that there was some delay in the final
ca~pitulation. owing to a disagreement
over the disposition of the Spanish
small arms.
Returning to Siboney, which he par
TALLY burned, he received the dispatch
from General Shafter, heretofore made
public, informing him that the secre-
tary Of val a aid he was not to as
sumo command at Santiago. To This
he replied that his position as COM
mander of the army OF the United
States made him commander of the
troops at Santiago.
Then follows some telgrams instruct
ing General Shafter to remove his SOL
diers to high ground and notifying
Secretary Alger that in his (Miles)
opinion, IL his movement into the
mountains did not check the fever,
then the only way to save the large
portion of the comman wound be to
ship them to a point on the New Eng
land coast. to be chosen by the sur
geon general.
The story of the Santiago campaign
practically ends at this point. and The
report treats next of Porto Rico.
General Miles, on July IA, had ca
bled Secretary Alger that 1t was i'm
portant to go direct to Porto Fajardo.
Cape San Juan. He was advised to
proceed as rapidly as possible, and af-
ter some delay authority was granted
n he started. The story of that sue
cessful campaign is well known and
the report adds little to the general
knowledge, except to clear up the
change Of destination of the first ex-
pedition. which was so puzzling at the
time. The change. he says, was made
because the Spanish had learned where
II was at first intended to land.
General Miles mentions by name spe-
cially the officers of his stan and the
general officers engaged, n recon-
mends a small list OF officers for pro-
motion and brevets.
General Miles closes his report with
some earnest recommendations for the
improvement Of the military service. He
trusts the experience of the last few
months will be valuable to the people
and to the government. The value of
coast d~efenses, he says, has been proved
and the system should be completed
without delay. He favors the adoption
of a standard of strength for the army
to meet the country's growth and sug-
gests that II be one soldier to every
1000 population. yielding a force of
s. ,579. While this force Is already pro-
vided for, unfortunately the authoriz-
ing act requires the army to be reduced
to its former inadequate basis on the
termination of the war.
General Miles, in conclusion, recon-
mends the authorization of an auxiliary
force Of native troops in Cuba, Porto
Rico and the Philippines. to be Differed
by the United States army officers, and
not exceeding two soldiers for 1000
population Of the islands, and all OF
these increases, he urges, should be
| made at once