The Opelousas courier., 1898-05-14

forgets that he is a Judge, was walking
up and down the platform of a small
railway station up-country just before
taking his seat in the train. At that
moment a hot and perspiring English
man rushed onto the platform, and
said to the judge: els this the Bonn:
bay train?" The judge coldly re-
marked: 81 am not the station mas
ter" The other mar at once retorted
"Then, confound you, sir, why do you
swagger about as if you were?"
To prevent accidents on trolley cars
the trucks are provided with forked
frames, which extend on each side OF
the wheels and end in small wheels,
resting on the track to push a person
out of the way if he falls under the car,
the wheels being so small that they will
not pass over anything lying on the
track.
A Likely Place: Jane (reading)-
''The wearied sentinel leaned on his
gun and stole a few moments Sleep
Little Robie-"I know where he stole
it FROM" Jane-"Where, Robbie?"
Robbie-"From his napsack "-Cleye-
land Plain Dealer.
The Mississippi river, from the
source of the Missouri to the Eads jet
ties, is the longest river in the world.
It is 1890 miles in length and drains
an area of 1 ,726, 900 square miles, The
Amazon is the widest river in the world,
and including the Benz, is 4 1000 miles
in length and drains 100000 square
miles of territory.
The largest State is Texas, which con-
tains 274, 356 square miles, capable OF
sustaining 20, 600, 900 Of people, and
then it would not be more crowded
than Scotland at present. 1t has been
estimated that the entire population of
the globe could be seated upon chairs
within the boundary of Texas and each
have four feet of elbow room.
The largest number of cattle ever
received in Il year was that of Chi
cago in the year 1884, being 1,874,984
beeves, sc, 223 calves, 5,64O, 625 hogs,
749, GIT sheep and 1925 horses. 1t
required 5000 trains of thirty-one cars
each, which, if coupled together, would
reach 2 ,146 miles.
The largest producing farm in the
world lies in the northwest corner OF
owned by a northern syndi-
cate. Itruns 100 miles north and south.
This immense tract is divided into con
venient pastures, with stations of
of ranches every six miles. The fenc-
alone cost nearly $4,000.
Mrs. Betterhawse-"I nm told that
you allow your husband to carry a
latchkey." Mrs. Grayhair-''Yes, but
it does not fit the door. I just let him
carry it to humor him. He likes to
show it to his friends and make them
thikk he is Independent. Boston
Traveller.
What He Would Give: "Well,'
said the man with the long hair, after
the editor had handed him back his
spring poem, "what would you be
willing to give me for it?" ooh, about
ten years, if I could havemy way, 1.-THE
discourager of genius replied.-Cleve.
land Leader.
"Was Mrs. Yungfirte much cut up
over her husbands sudden death, doc
tor?" "Not anything like SO much as
he was. You see, there were ten sur
geons at the post-mortem, and hone of
'em agreed ON where the trouble lay"
Sloper.
Heinrich ION the way from the thea
ter to his wife) "What beastly street
lighting! Well, Elise, what are you
about?" Elise-"I was think.
ing how angry you used to be in this
same street only six months ago every
time we came to a light!'
His ambition: "To think" said the
visitor. that you will have to &C
through life an ex-convict!!" "Well,
replied Claude, "to tell you the
just at present there amt moth
ing I'd like more to be!"-Washington
Star.
ST say, Bridget, is your beau a gole
or silver MANI" asked the head of the
house. "Sure, he's neyther," an.
swered the cook; he's what you call {
copper man, ur."-Yonkers States.
man.
"Pessimism," said the Sage, 'is bu'
a matter of temperament. One pes
simist I knew was always saddest OF
pay day, because he realized that there
would be nothing more coming to him
for a week"
Mrs. Higgins-'What wretchet
taste that Mrs. Wilkes has!' Mr.
Higgins-"Yes, I met her down stairs
this afternoon and she was wearing tina