The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1898-12-11
A. CASE OF BAD MANNERS.
MEN VINO Will PERSIST IN BEING
LATE 1T FORMAL DLNNERH,
unonrnEcd single Men said TO BE ottonest

InRnHuKeu SlnKit NAth RoAN "
Guilty Of the offence : Remedies Dis
cussed by women Who suffer from
This CONGRATULATIONS of the Hostess.
There were ak of them and they were oil.
talking at once. OF course. it should be need-
less 10 add that they were women.
II don't care n cent about q mans morals,
so long ms his manners are oil right" asserted
O young matron. as the party drew around the
luncheon table.
"Oh. my dear 7" exclaimed one OF the guests.
an elderly woman. "you quite horrlfy me.
Don't make such remarks. People Will mis-
understand you"
she's always aging something outrageous
that she doesn't mean added another guest, q
pretty blonde.
Well. II YOU all think thatI did not mean just
what 7 said then you are very much mistaken"
said tho first speaker. Tn tired OF il-mari-
nered mon. and | sometimes feel that l can
never go into society again, and, as for enter
tninIDg. positively in my present frame OF mind
l should refuse an invitation from Queen Vic"
whatever can have happened to upset you
so ~ asked the hostess with n smile.
"oh. not much of anything. l suppose youn
all say.' answored the aggrieved matron.
%Last night my husband and I gave a dinner.
and ono of our guests. a man. of course.
and. to be sure, an unmarried one. was a whole
half hour late. l never was so put out In
my life. Actually the dinner was almost
spoiled for me, for l had nervous chills lest
several Of my brag dishes should be spoiled.
The meanest part of the whole thing was that
when Mr.. Slowpoke did arrive he had not
the slightest sign OF an excuse to oher.
Now. IL 1t had been /. l should have
sacrificed my morals for my manners
sake n bit: / should have said that the cars
we're blocked. or that some accident or other
h,l hnypapnI m 1ntnin ma Not aO with Mr.
| Slowpoke. He blew In. as l said. Just twenty
| seven minutes late by the clock. blooming and
heaming. and remarked: why, I've kept you
waiting. haven't II quite as II he'd done some
thing to be proud OF. l thought OF my cream
of celery soup and how long 1t had been on the
Are. and l can tell you / wanted to shake him"
You poor dearl Aud you such n young
housekeeper. tool' said the elderly guest. sym
pathetically.
"Oh, not half has been TOLD" continued the
matron. Mr.. Slowpoke. as you oil know. lives
over on the Palisades. and. II you can bring
| yourselves to believe it, he actually Dragged
of how much work he'd done after q O'Clock"
THAT beats ALL" cried one OF the guests.
Did you ever hear of anything to equal
that? 2" remarked another Indignantly.
Perfectly ~inexcusable." exclaimed a third.
and every woman had something to say.
That's nothing finally the hostess re-
marked. Il haven't given one dinner this
season when somebody hasn't been late.
Women are never late when the occasion is a
formal one. and it's the men who give us the
trouble. But we cant do without them. 80
what can we do about It allp They know this.
and / think that accounts for their carelessness
about being punctual. A hostess can excuse o
| guest for being late at any form OF entertain
ment save a dinner; but, as Mrs. Newlywed
said. this frequently spoils the dinner. and
always puts the cook into a temper. On
the WHOLE. I think Mrs. Newlywed about
right; bad manners are often moro
offensive than bad morals. They hurt more
people and. while | am a very orthodox.
churchgoing woman. l say il my guests man.
ners are irreproachable l shan't go poking
around to find out IL their morals are perfect.
| can think OF nothing that ~irritates me so
much as to have a man come walking in twenty
minutes or more after your dinner hour,
You've stated the case very strongiy,' re-
% but What tt" You are rieiGs "AD y"
this particular; !, chimed I IN q little brunette in a
the operas. everywhere, Actually. the other
afternoon when / gave, that formal reception
I more : mem 1SPc came T IN at y ! When we We're ad dlninSg z
The hallboy simply told them that we were
tbajn s,p and o Ia5e diy Torld e 9be to the M oPeisa] f @e6
OF this breach OF etiquette. Young men and old
see When a mans married his wife Keeps him
up to the mark and reminds, him that he must
as soon as a girl becomes engaged to aman
she begins to feel responsible for his manners.
e eihGlda me and p I Wish With fln ali my W'h heart afs that hal
they could knasw just what we think Of their
II wish with all my heart that there was a
school where they could go and take courses OF
lessons IN manners" SUGGESTED one woman
structiSn on the subject Of why one should be
p]uHctual at dinner parties. Really, | think
nre is mGp Mn0 At RG any = RsG that is 81 the Ssi kiRd issa
construction to put on their fault: There was
a t time nS when hen t. was bu sa Wa t hsfe w0 Wsre ls eoa az
dinners and other formal entertainments as
men are; Our sin was in being SO nnpunctSa
SSaH6Ho9 Ia Of manners lor men nv wouldn't be BAD,
woman 4 school o., this sort would do nc
good, Men might go there and get a sort o.
1T is trite, l know. she went on to say
go"d' heart. but ali the same it IS true. Yorl
Say that these tardy guests. who give you sc
mssi H fEHHSlSft. y "5s FR oan9 d all p ione ast
as a rule, than married onesI A MAJ
Is a selfish man. I don't care who he is
He keeps n small! or a large number of people
Il rs Int CuSt may be, Ndltlue " hlHl. ull vi
within on his part or through carelessness
Some people are prone to excuse others on tn,
ground OF thoughtlessness thoughtlessness il
any form Is selishness. Unselflsh people arr
rarely thouGhtless., The tafdy guest not onl!
makes "A large number of other guests uRcom
Portable, but frequently causes his hostess
great deal Of trouble, She plans a deliciou
dinner, consisting largely perhaps. Of dishe
| Invited her guests say at 7 O'Clock. and of cours
: expects to sit down at the table at that hour
and gives her orders to the cook accordingly
! Some guest is late. and the sour or .cntr6e o
3 birds or something or other gets oyerdone as
2 result. Men don't stop to think OF these things
women do. Some woman once said. The lac
uf fine perception that results in want of con
, sidrration for others. In torgctfulness and care
. lrssness In little things. that imposes upon TIL
: time, strength. or resources Of other. people.
1 II defect more inimical to friendship than
9 many n gravcr fault in morals. II implies lac
1 Of good breeding. lack 81 reigsment. lack of
. Now | have n very strong iaea that that woma
r uttered That truth the morning nttor som
. Tint what can we hnsteSsnS do to renal