Chicago eagle. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1889-19??, 1898-02-19

sion." said the affable man. "Are you
sure 1t wasn't n subsequent oneT re.
piled the crusty one.
She--"1 heard about the elopcment.
Has her mother forgiven thcmY" He
IL think not. I understand she has
gone to live with them."-Puck.
Jill-"ls Gill good judge Of cigarsT"
Bill think he must be. He had two
last night. and he gave me one. He
must have kept the best e."-YOnkers
Statesman.
In their stateroom: Brown--"Con.
found you. you're using my tooth.
brush:' Sonderhauscn-"1 beg your
pardon. I linked 1t vos 70 ships
rick-Mc-Up.
Jabbers-"1 woke up last night and
found burglar In my ROOM" Havers
Catch him" Enthusiastically
not. I'm not making a collection Of
burglars"
He-"1 told your father we expected
to be married next month, and he was
wild.' Shc--"what did he sayY" He
"llc wanted to know why we couldn't
make 1t next weck."-Puck.
"Oncc friend of mine and I agreed
that it would be helpful for each of us
TO tell the other his faults" '1fow did
1t work. I'VE haven't spoken for
nine ycars."-Chicago Record.
Hubbard-"Slmpkin has got over his
nervous prostration." Pease-"How
can you tellT' Hubbard-"Why, met
him on the street last night, and he
wanted to borrow twenty dollars
Puck.
The Count--"1 haf been told, mad.
anne. your daughtaire hat re bad TEN.
paire." The Mamma-"Ah, yes, count,
but you know she loses her temper so
easily" The Count-"Ah, how loaay."
Detroit Journal.
AT no time," said the philosopher, us
man 80 willing to take the burden
from the weak shoulders Of frall w0.
man as when she Is harassed with the
care Of large and paying property
indianapolis Journal.
Hc-"Thc sight Of an old school.mate
is-er-well, 1t might DO called both
meat and drink" Shc-"Ycs. that's
what you mon usually do under the cir.
cumstanccs." Hc--"EhY'-- She-"Meet
and acknowledgements Journal.
~ suppose classical music Is all right
In Its place." said Maud. I'm sure II
is," replied Mamie; II don't care TO
listen to 1t myself, but sometimes you
have to play 1t In order to get man
to go Observation-Disclosures Star.
"These shoes you sold me last week
squeak SO that they keep me awake
nights" said the customer. entering the
shoe.storc. my dear sir" replied the
shOc.dealer, reassuringly, "yOu should
Mt sleep In them."-Yonkcrs States.
man.
Valet Ito officers ilancce)--"My lieu
tenant has sent me to bring you this
bouquet Of flowers plucked by his OWL
hands," Flancee-"Oh, how poetic
And how long It must have taken &c
gather them" valct-"Indced. miss. II
took me nearly three hours"
| Cierk-"I wouldn't like to cut thil
piece Of lace Just for one yard. madam
and, besides, that isn't enough to trim
anything" Shoppcr-"Oh! I didn't
want It for trimming; hut It's SO nice
to have piece Of lace about the house
as an heirloom, you know."-Puck.
"Do you like being under the thistle
toeY" he asked, tenderly. just after the
thirty.nInth kiss. She looked into hit
eyes and sighed. Gan have to say
she murmured, ''ls that my last dying
wish will be to have some Of 1t planted
on my grave" Then they resumed
Puck.
"Why has Mrs. Langdon left her hus
band and gone back to her parentsy'
"She got to rummnglng through his pa
pcrs the other day and found the re
ceipt for his first wife's engagement
ring. 1t cost twenty dollars more thai
he paid for the second one."-Chicag(
News.
African Explorer (dumbfounded)-
"What, you, Clarence We're de We're. II
the heart of darkest Africa! What IL
the world are you doing here?" Clar
ence We're dc Vere-"I'm wearing tn
necktie Miss Darling gave mo fol
Christmas. l promised her would
you knOw"-Puck.
"You have been very generous In buy
ing Mabel new gowns" remarked Mrs
CumrOx. EYES," was the reply; I"
don't like that man who pays her 81
much attention" II don't see wha
that has to do with It." II desire 4
give him something to think abOu
when / ask him II he can support he
In the style to which she has been &C
Observation-Disclosures Star.
Papa Brlndle-"Matllda, ! seriOusl.
object to you encouraging the atten
tions of that young Spooler. He Is tn
most raklsh-l looking youth ever saw.
Matilda-"What do you mean, papa?
Papa Brindle-"Why, ] mean the wa!
he wears his hat on one SIDE" Matilda
-"That isn't rakishness, papa" Pap
Brindle-"What Is 1t, then" Matilda
"Its n boil."-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
II never saw man so cut up as oil,
RoX Is over the death of his book-keep
} or. And yet you have always said tina
he had no heart and regarded his EN-
! ployes as mere machines" 'I'll tel
, you something on the quiet. The book
keeper was about three thousand dol
lars behind In his accounts, and oil,
Rox was keeping him on ana making
him work 1t Out."--Clncinnati Enquirer