Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1898-03-13

| thousand legs with which 70 klcs 49,
SELF, or thousand fool killers ~ - ~,
10 slaughter you with axe-helvog3
| you haven't. | have. Just abo,, =.
| time L thought l was pettIn,, 'No
sloriously and becoming posltiyo,,.
lulSent, my tongue would conmlt -
diseretion-a sort OF "horsedy bresi,s ''',
an awful silence would follow n, "4
raj occasions, when / wished IN ba ~
tcularly pleasant and sollcitioye -.
my friends and their family corpe,,...''
L have asked them, "How,s ,
mother?" or "Hows your father, ..t
received the curt reply: You know 80
died about nine years ago.; or. pan.
oled when l was a baby" Whsn pa
BUN like this is hurled at you thor. i,
no apology you can make. II vo, NJ
Ignorance you confess that You have r,.
closely followed your friends career. 4.
you say you have heard Of tho aaIot.or
out forgotten 1t, you show a most a.,
clued lack or sympathy And so VIu
Soiu Perspirauon trickling down tbA
bosom OF your dress-shirt. you spssk ~.
and agree with everybody who ever c, "a
ed you an ass, and wish they had o.
pied some stronger expression. yybI'h
would have been far more appropriate
VI course you've all heard Of tba r,,.,
VINO called gentleman friend asita
and asked: who is that horraIv 49,
Just In front Of us?" whereupon the gor.
tleman friend replied, with fro.
Ing coldness: That's NV Viz"
And doubtless you appreciate -,
frantic ingenuity OF thu o,Il'
individual, who, struggling 10 rscti,,,
matters and to employ tao,
sponded. "oh, don't mean her. I me-,
the elderly lady Just 10 her right H.,
your hearts must go out 10 tho soc,.i
Jonah-if you are like me-when Won %
call the awful words OF the other gsn,,s-
man: 1.-THE elderly lady IS nv motbsrs
Inc most pathetic instance OF this kirl
which has met my sympathetic attent.on
recently occurred in Chicago. IL can ryt
confidence in the talo saw In q p,rs~
from that prosperous municipality
man was strolling along the streets when
ne saw friend. dressed In his best sUit
OF clothes, alight from a hack and start
TO enter his house. The stroller accostsJ
the q. {. =. good clothes party. and
Jocuiarly remarked, as Is our wont. 'VeT
you are a bowling sport-rldlng round In
a hack on week day and wearing your
best clothes, too. How's this old manp
We must have the reason for all this
sportiveness?" Whereupon. the G.. G.. p
gravely and solemnly remarked. 1--WE
just come from my wife's funeral"
The article merely says, in conclusion,
And the stroller tipped or" What
tumultuous emotions are embodied fin
those few words-"he tipped on" Pic
ture, If you can. the awful. oyerwhelm-
Ing, irresistible impulse that would-bs
pleasant man had 10 kick hlmseN-to tar
and feather himself-to butt out his
brains-to have people stamp on him.
and yet, we've all been in his TX. He
felt thousand million times worse than
the fellow just from the funeral-ln fact.
have known some men who were not ob.
jects Of sympathy at all when they re-
turned from their wives funerals.
But let me not dwell on this painful sub
ject, suggestive as it IS, q so many
incidents. past and TO come
Naturally, / am as pleasant and am rs
anxious 10 be pleasant as candidate
n a primary election, and / pray tha.
his little paragraph may serve rs an
humble apology for asinine exhibitions
have made in days gone by. and also
or future evidences Of stultitude.
THE IDLE REPORTER.