davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Meeker herald., 1898-01-29
NOT SO FUNNY.
How n Practical Joker Played 1t on
Himself.

In 4 Pullman car on an English rail-
way recently a waggish young man,
noticing an elderly gentleman trying
to put on light dust coat, went to his
assistance. While thus engaged, the
man observed good-sized whisky flask
protruding from one of the old gentle
mans pockets, and thought il Il good op-
portunity for a joke. Having helped
the stranger on with his coat, therefore,
he pulled cut the flask and said:
''Will you take drink?''
The old man did not recognize the
bottle. and drawing himself up, re-
marked, rather severely:
mo, sir; never drink"
at won't hurt YOU" insisted the wag;
Its the best
young man." said the old gentleman,
speaking loud enough for all the car
riage to hear. "if you persist in drink
ing whisky you will be ruined man at
40. 1t is the curse of the land. When
] was a boy my mother died, and the
last thing she did was to call me to her
bedside, and say: John, promise me
that you will never touch drop of
liquor"
"Oh, well, in that case" said the joker,
81 must drink it myself" whereppon,
suiting the action to the words. he
pulled out the cork and took a good
drink. \ moment later he drorDC5 The
bottle with an exclamation which Ger
tainly didn't sound like a blessing. and
yelled: Ugh! ugh! Ny mouths all
raw!"
Then it was that the old gentleman
discovered his loss, and TO the amuse-
ment of the other passengers. said:
"Ah, young man, you viii be careful
before you take another mans property
again. I am DR.. -. and that bottle.
contains some quinine and iron for one
of my patients
The young man got out at the next
station.-Iouth's Companion.
4 Kansas editor in announcing the
arrival of a new baby at his home says !:
We would not take $4,000 for this one,
The Meeker herald., 1898-01-29
eCDe

Bad management has turned num-
Der of trusted trust companies into
busted companies.
The Meeker herald., 1898-01-29

A catch-as- -catch-c wrestle with ex.
Senator Hill and boss Croker would be
sure to draw big gate money.
The Meeker herald., 1898-01-29

have few neckties left that will
be toad at lower prices than you ever
he4 Of for same class OF goods. All
frd sessonable styles.
HUGus 4 Co.
The Meeker herald., 1898-01-29

The Loud postal bill is again before
congress and we hope the Colorado dele
cation in that body will vote solidly
against it.
The Meeker herald., 1898-01-29
J. w. HUGUS. J.CD DAVIS,
President. Nice-Prcsidcnt.
A. c. MouLroS, Cashier.
BANK OF MEEkER
Successor to J.w. Hugus & Co., Bankers,

Transact General Banking business.
highest price paid for County Warrants. In
tcrest allowed on Time Deposits. Drafts
irawn on Eastern Cities and Europe.
CORRESPONDENTS, kountze Bros, New York :;
First National Bank, Omaha; First Ma
honai Bank. Denver: First National Bank.
Rawlins, Wyo.; First National Bank, Glen
wood Springs; and in all principal cities of
Europe.
Collections Promptly Attended to.
The Meeker herald., 1898-01-29

C. u r.,hr wbl.lses l.v,s.ra,. the system.
The Meeker herald., 1898-01-29

\ Kansas editor in announcing the
arrival of new baby at his home says
We would not take So. 600 for this one,
nor give 80 cents for another"
The Meeker herald., 1898-01-29
HENRY A. wILDHACK.
IL County Judge)
NOTARY and C0NVEYANCER

Attend to Pre-emptIon and Desert
Land filings, take and acknowledge an
nual or final proofs on Desert claims as
well as Prescriptions. institute contests,
etc. Necessary blanks on hand.
Office in the Court House,
MEEKER, COLORADO.
The Opelousas courier., 1898-01-08
WHERE is THE WORLD?

III. where is the world that We used to
know,
in the good glad days Of the long ago?
And where is the smile of the broad, blue
skies,
As they bent down low to u youthful
eyes?
And where are the songs of the birds and
And the ~oft-told tales of the whispering
trees?
Where are the voices soft and low,
We knew in the world that we used to
know?
Oh, where is the world that we used to
know?
And where are the roses that used to grow
About our paths: and the fragrant phlox,
And the dear, old-fashioned hollyhocks?
And where are the friends whose songs
with ours
We blended as blends a wreath of flowers?
Yes, where are the ones we cherished so,
In the dear, old world that we used to
know?
Oh, where is the world that we used to
know,
And the murmuring brooks that used to
flow
Through %dew-kissed meads Of clover
bloom,
Where bees were drunk with the sweet per-
fume?
And where arethe joys that the snow would
bring,
And where is the charm of the newborn
spring,
And the summers gold and the autumn's
glow
Oh, where is the world that we used to
know?
Nixon Waterman. "Home-Made Poems.'
The Opelousas courier., 1898-01-08
The SauaW and the Cigar.

A sleeping car passenger on a train
running into Portland, Oregon. strolled
into the smoking car and took a seat
just ahead Of a squaw. He was puff
ing vigorously at a cigar, and the In
dian oma got more of the smoke
than she liked. She protested in
pantomime to the conductor, who, be-
ing something of a wag, indicated that
she should make use of an immense
umbrella she had by bringing it down
on the mans head. She naturally
presumed that the conductors author
ity was all-suficient and forthwith
acted on his suggestion with native
vigor. The mans hat was knocked
down over his eyes and all but ruined,
and the cigar was knocked spinning
galley west. When he got out of his
hat he turned with not inexplicable
ferocity upon his assailant, but the
squaw merely looked at him with alb
original immobility of countenance,
and wouldn't understand either Eng
lish or sign language, and while the
other passengers were c~onvulsed with
merriment he hadto retreat to another
car.-New York Sun. :
The Opelousas courier., 1898-01-08

China is by no ean unlikely to be
the next place where the gold fever
will break out, remarks Self Nature. 1t
Is known that there r large deposits
Of the precious metal in the Celestial
Empire, and when the Special Am.
bassador of the Chinese Government
was recently passing through Canada
on his wayto the jubilee celebrations
he applied to the authorities of the Do
minion for information regarding its
laws relating to mining, as well as the
methods adopted. The reason for
seeking this information, which is now
being prepared, was conveyed by the
Ambassador, who said that the Chinese
authorities intend to give a good deal
of attention to the development of the
mining industry. The people who
desire to be in the forefront of the
movement had better, perhaps, con-
slider the ~advisabilty Of taking tickets
to Hong Kong rather than to Klon.
dixie.
The Opelousas courier., 1898-01-08
The oOld BaiIeyn

The sold Bailey" is the name of a
street in London extending from New
gate prison to Ludgate hill. Immedia-
tely adjoining the prison is the build
Ing in which the central criminal court
Is held, betterknown as the Old Bailey
sessions court. It is the court to
which the term cold Bailey" is usually
applied in literature. The iurisdic-
tion of this court includes the county
Of Middlesex as well as the city Of
London, and holds its sittings eight
times q year. The present .0ld
Bailey building was erected in 1773
and enlarged in 1903. The name is
supposed to be of very ancient deriva-
ton and to have originated in the fact
that this site was originally outside of
the fertilization Of the city and known
BY the Romans as .'vallum.n From
this word came the ballium, applied
IN the middle ages to the outside wall
Of defense about a feudal castle. Later
the outer lines Of defenses of d castle
or city were known as the "outer
bailey" and the line within. sur
rounding the inner wall, was called
the timer bailey" The London
prison and courtwere originaIlywithin
The ancient bailey of the city wall be-
tween Ludgate and Nswgate. -Atlanta
Contribution.
The Opelousas courier., 1898-01-08
SCIENTIFIC AND INDUSTRIAL.

Good veins of emery have been foun(
in the sapphire mines in the Yogo dis
trict, Montana.
A Dutchman of. Weert has found
way of spinning thread from peat
which is woven into clothing. The
fabrics thus made are comparativel,
cheap and intended for ordinary use
At a recent meeting of the Institu
tion of Civil Engineers in London, the
opinion was expressed that the coming
material for ship-building is nicke
steel, but that before it "a be extern.
sively used, further deposits Of nicke.
must be discovered.
French experts in the desert Of
Sahara are expressing apprehensionS
at the gradual diminution of the fertile
GASES. 1t is known thatthe large GASES
were much larger in the time of the
ancient Romans, and that they are be,
ing constantly reduced in size by the
encroachments of the sand dunes. The
problem is how to stop these.
According to Herr Levinstein, the
action of the rarefed air on the ANNA!
organism is to produce a very strong
fatty degeneration of the heart, the
liver and the muscles, while death sets
in through the want Of oxygen. The
experiments from which these facts
were as~certained were performed on q
rabbit at thirty OF forty centimeters
pressure.
Diving operations at a great depth
have proved successful of. Cape Fin.
| nisterre, all the silver bars from the
steamer Skyro, which sank in thirty
fathoms in 1891, having been brought
to the surface. The working depth
for the divers was never less than III
feet, and was often more. Dynamite
was used to blow away the deck. The
value of the silver was $45, 900.
The only United States dry dock
now available for the largest battle
ships of the white squadron is that at
Puget Sound, on the extreme north
western boundary, which is the largest
in the Western Hemisphere. It is $50
feet long, and over ninety-two feet
wide at the gate, with a depth over
the sill of thirty feet. Ships Of twelve
thousand tons can be locked in it.
The lightest substance known is said
to be the pith of the sunfower, with a
specific gravity of 0.02S, while elder
pith-hitherto recognized as the
lightest substance-has a specific
gravity of 0.O9, reindeer's hair o. and
cork 0.24. For saving appliances at
sea, cork, with a buoyancy of n to
five, or RENDERS hair with one of one
to ten, has been used, while the pith
of the sunhower hasa buoyancy Of one
to thirty-fve.
One would hardly look for new forms
of animal life in a vast, dark cavern
like the Mammoth Cave Of Kentucky.
Yet as a matter of fact, no less than
seven such forms inhabiting that par
ticular cave, and hitherto unknown to
science, have recently been described.
The fact that these creatures are very
minute does not detract from their
scientific interest, while, on the other
hand, it must increase our admiration
for the skill and industry of the natur-
alists who do not allow even micro
scopic life to escape their ken, although
hidden in places where no ray Of sun
light ever penetrates.
The Opelousas courier., 1898-01-08

A combination machine for farming
purposes has been invented by ex-
Congressman Murray, of South Caro-
lima, which has adjustable attachments
to be used on principles somewhat
similar to those used on some sewing
machines, and is destined to play an
important part in farming throughout
the world. The machine is a tricycle.
set on a frame 3x6 feet, one of the at
tachments that may be used as a mower
measuring five feet. It's cut is
elean, and it has a free and easy move
ment, and is light draught. The own
ers are willing to test it with any other
machine built for that purpose. Other
attachments may be used to sow all
kinds of grain, wheat, flax, oats, corn,
md other cereals, and one as useful
and unique as any is for cotton. There
are four distinct parts to the cotton
planter, n for opening the row, an.
other for sowing the cotton by grain,
IN appliance for covering, and a roller
10 press the row, all Of which is done
simultaneously in one drive Of the
horses along the row. The machine
slso carries with it the most effective
potato digger yet discovered, as we'll
IS eight or more hoe drills for drilling
wheat, all of which are worked upon
the same frame, drawn by two horses.
The cotton-chopper shoald also be
mentioned. It revolutionizes the cot
ton-chopping business on the planta-
lions at the South. Indeed, it dis
misses the women from the cotton
6elds, and the children need no
longer be away from the schools that
they may be engaged in cotton-chop-
ping. The truth is, two men with two
horses, using this machine, can chop
many times more in q day than thirty
men, women. and children with their
hands and hoes.
The Opelousas courier., 1898-01-08
Insurance against unemployment

Insurance against unemployment
is an experiment begun in America
during the current year according to
the Argonaut. 1t is private enterprise.
It's dues are heavier than those Of
similar European societies, but its
benefits also are much larger. AS in
the case Of the European societies,
voluntary unemployment, or non
employment for any cause within the
control of the beneficiary, makes all
benefits voidable. This excludes the
striker. As it is to the interest of the
no%n-insurance companies to help their
beneficiaries to get work, a company
in Chicago supplies to its benefciaries
the services of two employment bu-
eau without charge.
The Opelousas courier., 1898-01-08
ears. when the Chesters had left Ire

wears, when the Chesters had lett Ire
gonell. >.
"Speaking about getting leave fol
you for an afternoon, Juliet, remind
me of something else" Mr.. Tregonell
said, later. NJ am sure you are toe
closely shut in where you are, ane
there's another place I have IN pros
pect for you, if I thought I could IN
duce you to take it-could L, juliet
where you of sacred right belong
where 1 would spend my life to make
you happy. At Tregonell for all youl
life, dear? Will you go, Julie', as my
wife-the woman I most honor and
love on earth?"
One shy, glad look in his eyes
| showed her how much he loved her
| and she answered him to his hearts
content.
Mr.. Chester was thunderstruck
when Juliet told him.
"Bless my soul! Quite a romano
indeed! And as it should be, sir
quite as it should be.that my daugh'
ter should reign in the halls Of her an
cestors. You have my consent anc
| ny S o's.5 did he fsr remember thai
Ngcy Trsg2neltRas a "iend," as, il
hisS&sfeF days, he pottered around
the splendid oleplace, amusing the
little Tregonells, and doing only what
precisely pleased him all the long
days.
While Juliet-sweet, brave, gentle
Juliet-was happiest Of the happy, il
her husbands love, in her palatia
home, and in her beautiful boys
Chester and Percy, junior. -SaturdaJ
Nirht,
The Opelousas courier., 1898-01-08

! Judge Gerhard Wilbrich, of st.
Paul, who has just returned from
Germany, says: "Beet sugar has be-
come a great industry in Germany,
and many of the large, estates have
been given over to raising sugar
beets. The large landholders employ
cheap labor, including many women,
in the cultivation of the beets."
The Opelousas courier., 1898-01-08
ACADEMY


OPELOUSAS, La.
Under the Direction Of the Sisters Marianitei
of Holy Gross.
Offers to young ladies every facility
for acquiring a thorough christian ed
ucation. Constant attention is paid to
home and social cultuk. Lessons are
given in music, painAng and other
useful arts. The siNers also have
charge of the boys schaol. The course
o. instruction is two-folA-Preparatory
and Commercial. French is taught in
the two courses. For particulars, ad-
dress SISTER SUPERIOR.
The Opelousas courier., 1898-01-08
A Curious Garment,

A curious garment came into this
port recently on one of the trans-At-
lantic steamers. 1t was a petticoat on
a very pretty young womsn, and its
novelty consisted in the fact of its
being made of some two dozen golf
stockings sewed together in the shape
OF a skirt. Keen Custom house in
spectors, seeing the unusual bulk of a
rather slender young woman's outfit,
made the discovery.
The Opelousas courier., 1898-01-08

American bicycles are appreciated
in other countries besides our own.
During the past seaso the number
of those exported was four times as
large as that of the season previous.
The Opelousas courier., 1898-01-08
MONEY TO LOAN.

0vrxoE OF 81. LANDRY HOMESTEAD ANDY
LOAN ASSOCIATION, (
OPELoUsAs, Sept. 18th. 1898.
The undersigned is authorized by the
Board OF Directors of the st. Landry
Homestead and Loan Association to
ofFer to It's members loans at eight per
esnsum. For particulars apply TO
E. D EsTILETTE,
President St. Landry Ii. & L. Assn.
The Opelousas courier., 1898-01-08
OPELOUsAs, LOUISIANA.

Japan's war vessels, great and
small, are to cost fifty million dollars,
and it will require vast sums to keep
them in commission.
The Opelousas courier., 1898-01-08

off, papa! Tell
me first you wish
me all the good
luck i'm 6 a.
ble." T.
''Good-by,Jul-
let! Ny wishes
cannOtweioh one
The Opelousas courier., 1898-01-08
Emperor of China,s Tea.

All the tea drunk by the Emperor
OF China is grown in a special garden,
kept exclusively for the purpose.
The Opelousas courier., 1898-01-08

The value Of a newspaper as an
advertising medium consists in
Its circulation.
When you can secure the com.
bined circulation Of two papers
for the price OF one, it is money
saved!
"TThe st. Landry Democrat"
was consolidated on the Sd Of
March, 1894, with The Opelou.
Sas Courier" The advertising
rates have not been increased
while the price Of subscription
has been reduced to 81 a wear.
THE COURIER being by odds
the best paper in the empire Par.
lsh OF st. Landry is therefore the
aheapest.
The age-herald., 1898-08-03
CONTROL OF CUBA
May Eventually Fall on United States
 Says Senator Jones.

St. Louis, Aug. 2.-Senator James K Jones of Arkansas, chairman of the na- tionaI democratic committee, who was in the city conferring with prominent mem bers of his party had this to say concern ing our foreign policy before he left for New York:
 ..The United States is pledged to the world that an independent and stable gov ernment shall be established in Cuba. When I voted for that resolution nothing was said about imperialism. This country cannot afford to go back on it's pledge. These are my private views, which believe are those of the democratic party.
 ''I do not know what conditions may arise respecting Cuba, but I have never known a Spanish-American community capable of self-government and 1t is possible that since we set out to free Cuba from Span ish domination we may be compelled to pursue a course which will eventuate in the control of the island. While l am not in favor of the acquisition of the territory in the tropics, this course would be less objectionable than any other.
 Cuba is adjacent to the United States, as is Porto Rico but the thought of the Philippines, is preposterous, un-democratic and not in accord with the principles hand
The age-herald., 1898-08-03
COAL MINERS STRIKE
Will be Ordered Unless Operators Con-
 form With Agreement.

Pittsburg, Aug. 2.-If the coal operators of the Pittsburg district do not conform with the terms of the Chicago agreement by Aug. 10 5000 miners will be ordered to strike. This is the decision of the conven- tion of the United Miners of this district now in session here. series of strikes are to be inaugurated in the Tough dis trict, the third pool, and if it ie at all pos- sible the New York and Cleveland Gas Coal company will be compelled to pay a penalty for mining coal at rate lower than provided for in the agreement.
 I've are not anarchists nor chronic dis turbers, but our organization is determin- ed to see the terms of the Chicago agree ment enforced,' said National President M. D. Ratchford. By a strike I do not mean that there will be bloodshed and all that sort of thing, but peaceable fight for the enforcement of the agreement"
 A per cent levy to pay the expenses of the strike was ordered.
The age-herald., 1898-08-03
A Live "Dummy"
From the Kansas City Star.

From the Kansas City Star.
 As she walked into a big dry goods store on Main street yesterday this well-known Kansas City woman noticed at the en- trance form arrayed in a pink shirt waist the style and design of which was attractive to the shopper.
 T will have mine made like that" thought she, and she hustled back into the store to buy the goods
 Emerging breathless, this shopper stopped for a further examination of the form. She grasped and pulled apart the pleats and folds and undulations of the waist to gain a better knowledge of it's mechanism.
 "But this waist is yellow; 1t was pink when I came into the store. That's funny. but I'll take a good look at it, anyhow" and she did, re-enforcng her observations with her hands.
 Without warning the form shivered and moved first to one side and then suddenly backward! It had come to life-it was not form but a woman!
 The shopper gazed in horror. She shrieked and staggered, then she laughed and cried and laughed again. The form shot like an arrow through the door. She thought the woman was insane A crowd of clerks and foorwalkers rushed to the laughing, crying, screaming shopper. In a few minutes she was composed and she hurriedly departed. To her a thing of wire and paste and black cloth had come to
The age-herald., 1898-08-03
WHEN THE POST BAND PLAYS

Richard Stillman Powell in the Criterion. Oh, the sun is on the river and the sky is
 gold and red, And the moon it's light is gaining in the
 azure overhead, And the band is playin' sweetly as Old
 Glory fiutters down. And there's pretty girls amany from the
 quarters and the town. Oh, the sunset gun is boomin', and the
 echo rumbles till In the dim and purple distance it is lost
 behind the hill: And it's just a pipe till supper time, so
 fill and make your blaze; Say, who wouldn't be soldier when the
 Post Band plays? Oh, there's hurry and there's hustle, and
 there's forty head of mules To be loaded in the darkness while the
 steaming coffee cools: And the caissons are bulky, and the gang
 blanks blasted steep And there isn't any wonder when a bloke
 is half asleep. Oh, there's orders to go somewhere, and to
 go there mighty quick; And it's nothing to the orders that the
 horses rear and kick That the stock car doors won't open, that
 the sergeant's in daZe Say, who wouldn't be soldier when the
 Post Band plays. Oh, women they're a-weepin'. same as
 women always do, And there's hearts a-feelin' heavy under
 heath the army blue; And there's shoutin' and there's cursin',
 and the bells a-ringin loud, And there's kisses from the mothers and the sweethearts in the crowd. Oh, the alarmed old band is tootin' and the flies a-shrillin' high, And "The Girl I Left Behind Me- makes a feller blink his eye, For we'll not be back. my dearies, to you all for many days, And some will be a-missin' when the Post
 Band plays.
The age-herald., 1898-08-03
In the Social Realm of
 Birmingham and Elsewhere

MT. and Mrs. Harry Jones will entertain at cards this evening in honor of their guest, Miss Lewis, of Charleston, w. Va., and Miss Leedy.
 The Tuesday Whist club was entertained by Mrs. William B. Leedy yesterday aft ernoon. The prize, a cut glass fruit plate, was won by Mrs. Harry Jones. Mrs. Leedy will entertain the club again next Tuesday for Mrs. Weatherly
 MT. Walter Prescott has returned from Chicago.
 MT and Mrs. Walker Percy, Miss Ellen Percy and Master Leroy Percy left yes terday for Blowing Rock, N. C., for the months of August and September.
 Miss Julia Ward left yesterday for Gin cinnati. Later she will visit Newport, High lands and Aurora, Ind.
 The Mobile Herald says: A delightful tally-ho party was rendered Miss Mamie Snyder of Birmingham by her charming hostess, Miss Octavia Rayford. Following were the participants: MT. Smith and Miss Snyder, Misses Bertie, Katie and Octavia Rayford, Amelia Henley, Lizzie Allen and Messrs. Worthington, Wright, of New Or leans; Pickett, Haas, D. St. Clair, of Vir-