davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1898-03-26
A QUEER TOMBSTONE.
1t Represents the Life Work of tse
Man Who Lies Beneath.


1t has often been said that 4 monu-
mcu which to some degree represents
4 mans life work is his most fitting
tombstone. Seldom, however, has an
attempt been made to carry out this
idea with such realistic c~Xactness as
was done n few years ago in Oak Grove
cemetery at Fall River, Mass, by one
of the large mill owners of that city.
AS the visitor proceeds through the
southeastern side ofthc cemetery be sees
a quaint little granite structure, look
ing at first glance in the distance like
and peaked roof, but as he draws near
enough to catch the view of the great
stone cotton mills in the city below the
full significance of of it flashes upon
him. 1t is 4 mill, Il miniature copy
of the larger ones which are so dis
tinctive Il feature of Fall River. 1t is
a solid mass of stone about nine feet
high, seven and a half feet long and
four feet wide, representing 4 three
story building. The windows consti-
tute the sole ornament of the monT-
ment and their panes of highly polished
stone stand out in marked contrast to
the rougher finish of the rest of the
structure. There are six windows in
each tier on both sides of the little
mill, while in front of the row is
varied a central door. Such doors are
placed on the different stories of the
cotton nrint f1ntnrinc for oncn in load
ing and unloading goods. and so mi
nutely has the imitation been carried
out that round kcyholes have been
drilled in the middle of each OfthedOors
represented on the monument.
The man who conceived this curious
tombstone was II. +. Stafford. formerly
part owner of the Stafford mills. TWAS
his wish to have the work with which he
was so long identified commemorated
in this way and accordingly the monu-
mcnt was erected soon after his death
in 1892. No finer site could have been
found in the whole cemetery, or. in fact.
in all Fall River. 1t is on the brow of n
high hill commanding Il view of the
southeastern portion of the city. where
many of the mills are located. Nearly
forty tall chimneys can be seen against
the distant sky and as many gray stone
buildings, with their rows of windows
visible now and then where the sun
light strikes their glistening panes.
The majority of the mills in the city, in
Guiding the Stafford mills. are built
with slightly sloping roofs, but one
great structure seen from the cemetery
in the foreground shows the sharp
peaked roof which had been chosen as
more ornamental for the monument
Rochester On. " Times.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1898-03-26

The Bottomless Pit, though much
smaller and less grand, has some of the
characteristics of Gorin's Dome. 1t is
n fearful pit to look down into from the
bridge spanning one of its bays. Ionce
went with n companion through 4 tor
tuous passage to the bottom of this pit,
and while there we heard the shouting
and laughing of an approaching party
overhead. Distinguishing our lights,
we waited until they had collected on
the bridge overhead; and as they looked
down, tryingtopenetratethe unfathom-
able darkness of the deep pit, we gave
an unearthly sepulchral vail. Exclama-
tons of fear and horror resounded
through the cave from the frightened
crowd upon the bridge; but the guide,
knowing that we had gone into the cave
in advance of his party, quieted their
fears by the assurance that the sounds
did not come from evil spirits of the
vastly dcep.-John R. Proctor, in Cen.
tury.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1898-03-26
4 Garaish of Oranges.

a pretty garnish for sweet dishes is
iced oranges. The oranges are peeled
and pulled apart into sections, each
piece being dipped into n soft icing I'M
I'll it is perfectly covered. They are
then strung with Il fine, sharp needle
on a thread and put in the warming
oven to dry thoroughly. If the hot
over of the range is not too hot. they
4 be suspended there from the top
CRATE, and the drying process is more
quickly accomplished, but they must
not be Drowned, only dried white. They
are then laid around Il mound of lemon
jelly or of plain blanc-mange, or of
any dessert whose flavor is not very pos
itiye-N, Y. Post.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1898-03-26
A CABINET MEMBERS GUESTS.
Country oCsi Are Not Always Well
come in Fashionable Homes.


GA Cabinet Members Wife," records
her trying and apparently veXatious
ordeal at the hands of two country
cousins, in her Inner Experiences"
She prefaces her plant with the state
ment that if country people would only
dress simply, as they do at home, when
they come to town, they would look
much better, and she describes her cx-
pected guests and their homely greet
ings: Cousin Zeke had on an old
'stove-pipe' hat resurrected from the
garnet, l know, and dating from some
time when l was a child, for l dimly re-
member seeing father with one on.
His overcoat was comfortable and
sensible. but when he took it off, he
hand dress suit several sizes too large
for him. Imagine a dress suit to travel
in, As he took off his coat he re-
marked: i heard tell that at the capital
dress clothes was the fashion, an so
/ just went to n man who keeps n tail
erin shop in our nearest town and told
him to show me the cheapest dress
CLOTHES lie nIu IN Ills SJOCk. ana L WIS
really s'prised when I got EN- hum to
see 'em fit so tol'able well. We wanted
to be s well dressed as the best when we
did visit the capital
Polly had on a good black silk dress
made in the style of 20 years ago, the
skirt rufled to the waist. Her dress was
all right, but We gods. her bonnet! It
was made of dark purple velvet and
trimmed with yellow ostrich feathers,
two standing up straight on one side.
while one plume fell down to her Shout
der on the other. I never saw such q
connection in any country neighbor-
hood-it was Polly, not the country,
coming out in her. These were the
only clothes they had with them, X
ceptiHg a change of underwear in their
bags, and we had to take them about
for nearly a week in these things
Ladies' Home Journal.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1898-03-26
Coal In the TraHsynnI.

In one colliary, not half dozen miles
from the gold mines. I nave seen n seam
of coal 90 feet in thickness. This coal,
though Of n low quality, sufliccs for the
purpose of the gold miners, and there
is a sufficient quantity of it to outlast
far the lives of all the gold miners.
Besides these coal deposits near the
gold fields and those others by the
Vaal river, which furnish coal for the
railway system far down into the Cape
Colony, there are literally hundreds,
perhaps even n thousand square miles
of coal in the heidelberg and ErmeIc
districts lying between Pretoria and
Delagoa bay. In the midst of these
coalbeds is the outcrop of iron ore. And
running through them is the lately
constructed railway to Delagoa bay.
With these vast coal fields close to a
first-rate port on the Indian ocean the
prospects of the coal mining industry
seem brilliant.-"SouthA Africa To-Day"
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1898-03-26
HUMOROUS.

She-"Here is such a pretty little
story in the paper about how Edison
came to marry" He-"I wish soBe
of these bright young journalists would
explain how 1 came to marry."-Indian-
apolis Journal.
Brobson-"It's a disputed question
which have the quickest tempers,
blondes or brunettes." Craik-"Is it?"
Brobson-"Yes; my wife has been both,
and 1 couldn't see that it made any diff
ference."-Boston Traveller.
Jasper-"What do you think How
ellis meant when he spoke about one of
his characters as being a 'hen-minded'
woman?" Jumpuppe-"Oh, 1 guess he
meant that she never thought about
anything except her own set."-Judge.
Customer-"Is the cashier in" Clerk
Yes; he's in" Customer-"Where
is hep" Clerk-"In Canada" Custom
er-"Is the proprietor in?" Clerk
mo; he's out" Customer How
much?"-Chicago News.
I'm proud of you," said the head
of the firm; q have letters from all
over Kansas saying that they have seen
our samples. How in the world did
you manage ito" and he patted the
travelling mar on the back. Cyclone"
Detroit Free Press.
Employer-"You were late this
morning, Henry" Office boy-"Yes,
sir" Employer-"Did you forget to
mention it to me?" Ofice-boy-"No,
sir. But I didn't want t. deprive you
of the pleasure of being the first to
speak of it."-Boston Transcript.
A Georgia man who went to Alaska
to dig gold writes home from Dawson
City: "You may expect me in Georgia
as o as my clothes thaw enough for
me to get my hands in my pockets and
reach the money to pay for my ticket"
Atlanta Constitution.
"You will marry q tall, dark gem
tleman," said the fcrtune-teller, exam
lining the lines in the fair hand. THAT
doesn't help me any," despairingly re-
piled the lovely blonde who had called
to consult her; "all six of them are tall,
dark gentlcmen!"-Chicago Tribune.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1898-03-26
Not on Visiting Terms.

At n dinner party which Lord ana
Lady Blank were giving before the ar
rival of the guests much discussion was
held as to questions of precedence.
One question especially puzzled them.
and as there was a minute or so tc
spare Lord Blank went to his study tc
get information from "Dubrett." Mean
while some of the guests had arrived.
and among them the two about whom
there had been so much trouble as to
precedence. And then Lord Blank re-
turned with 'Debrett" in his hand,
and called out: Il was quite right, my
dear, Lady Smith was a Jones, and he
is a mere nobody" The Smiths no
longer dine with Lord and Lady Blank.
Vanity Fair.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1898-03-26
OmeIct.

For four eggs allow one tablet OF
chocolate, which should be pounded,
and dissolve in as little cream as pos
sible to accomplish the purpose. When
the chocolate is cold, add the yolks of
the four eggs, n tablespoon of cream,
and the whites whipped to Il snow. With
this mixture proceed as for frying an
ordinary omelet, working briskly over
a good fire in well-heated fat: turn
the omelet iSto a dish, glaze quickly
with a little chocolate dissolved In
water and a little gelatine, and serve
promptly.-Boston Globe.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1898-03-26
Bear Wasn't the Point.
The Point Was Gun, and the Result
Proved the Truth of II.
1T HE consumed gun hadn't been

HE consumed gun hadn't been
shot off for 30 year and better
said the Knob country man, and told
Tom so when he started out with it
that night. Tom 1 says, that gun'il
Aick you wOrse'n a mule if you fire it;
mind what tell you!' Cause it was an
old army musket that Tom had lugged
all through the war, and when he come
back home he hung it up on a couple
o pegs on the settin'room wall, and it
seemed to me that it hadn't never been
took down sence. 'Tom,' l says, that
'gunll kick you worse'n a mule
But Tom he says: But do you want
bears to pitch in and chaw me?.'
- hain't sayin' nothin' bout bears
says. It's the gun l was talkin' bout.
l wouldn't be afeard o mectin' hall Il
dozen BEARS | says, but seems to me
I'd be ~overpowerin' skittish O. that
gun
But here's two more o my sheep
lugged away last night says Tom.
And by hat same internal old bear. l
know. And that makes nine sence the
fust O the month"; says he. 'IIain't
this clearin' got nothin' to do but raise
mutton for bears?!' says he.
"sTom Savr Il baiD,+ roiSod +bo
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1898-03-26
Destructive Hu,traIian Ants.

The roof of the Australian museum al
Sydney, which had been destroyed by
termites, or white ants" had to be re-
placed with a covering composed large
ly of steel and copper. Recently it was
discovered that these destructive little
creatures had also ruined the under
pinningof oneof the important floors Of
the museum. The work Of the termite
is peculiar in that it is carried on in the
interior of the timber and does not re-
veal itself until the structure is about
TO fall to pieces.-Chicago Chronicle.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1898-03-26
VETERANS IN PLACES.
Some Extremely Old Men Work for
Uncle Sam in Washington.


A few years ago-in 1s93-when the
Dockery commission was seeking to i'm
prove the administration of the de-
partmental service, a census was made
of the departments, and among other
facts that were collected were some to
show the ages of employees. There were
at that time in the government service
in Washington 17,O76 persons of all
ages. OF this number 742 were between
60 and G5 years of age, $50 were between
G5 and 30, 1S2 were between 20 and rs,
&C were between IS and so, 80 were be-
tween SO and S., 6 were of the very re-
markable age of between SIS and 90, and
one was somewhere between 90 and 95.
There were in service 674 persons ex-
ceeding 65 years. The treasury at that
time had it's full share of the old clerks.
There was one clerk in hat department
who was 90; there were three clerks
each of SIS years, IA clerks had reached
their eightieth birthday, 30 clerks were
each IS years of age, 81 clerks were 20
and over 40 clerks were 65 and more.
All told, there were of these very adj
vanccd clerks III at the time the CEN
sus was taken. The number is smaller
now, but the older clerks take good
care of themselves, and seem to be n
class defying ordinary calculations of
life chances. Yet the ~9O-year-old clerk
has been employed in the department
but one year. and none of the 1T had
been in the treasury longer than five
years. In one Office there was one
clerk of so, another of IS, and n third
of IS, out of n total of 10 clerks, and
the man of so had only been in the serv-
ice one year. In the office of the comp
troller of the currency there were
four clerks of 30 years and over. In
the pension division of the office of the
third auditor there was one employee
of so, a second of -, and n third of 20
years of age, and they had been in the
department, respectively, one, two and
three years. At the top of the military
division roll was Il clerk of so years. Re
had been in the service four years.-N.
Y. Times.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1898-03-26

up dgin Il hemlCck tree, and there was
bark knocked off o the tree halfway
round and three foot up. The gun Vas
actually quiyerin' yit, as if it hadn't
hardly give its dyin' kick. l picked it
up and went back to Tom. Jest as | got
there in come Samantha and the hired
man, and we worked Tom home by de-
greCs. The doctor from the Eddy hap.
pened to be at the mill hat night and it
had Strengthened Tom around and made
him comfortable Samantha took up the
argument ag'in.
who'd a-thunk,' says she, that beal
o'uld "a
Samantha says Tom. bears AIM
the pint. The pint is that amazin' gun,
and when | git around ag'in,' says he,
I'm gOin' TO spike it and bury it down
in the fur corner of the old stone lot
says he, with stones 4 top OF it three
foot deep
Then | knowed hat Tom had come
square round to the pint o the argu-
ment, and seen hat logic was logic. and
l went home feelin' that all you got to
10 when you got your p'ints right is to
stick 20 EN-, and nothin' kin down YOU.
Did Tom git any bears? Well, as |
been tryin' to tell You. bears want the
pint. but believe they did find a couple
o bears in the pastur' lot next day. One
of EN-, they said. had a hole through
him You could shove a stovepipe in, and
out o t'other un, which must a been in
range o the first m. they took so much
leadthatI have idee he must n stopped
all Toms load. and all o Toms broth
or Sims load, and all o. Samantha's
dads load-there bein' too much vim
to the gun for 'em TO have time for stop
pin in the first bcar."-N. Y. Sun.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1898-03-26
IN OLD PHILADELPHIA.
Quaker City Once the Greatest Town
on the Continent.


In 1774 Philadelphia was the largest
town in the American colonies. ESti-
mates of the population, which are all
we have, differ widely, but it was prob
ably not far from $4,000. \ single city
now has a larger population than all
the colonies possessed in 1874, and
there are in the United States to-day
1Oi cities and towns of over 10000 in
habitants. Figures alone, however,
however, cannot express the difference
between those days and III own. Now
a town of 10000 people is reached by
railroads and telegraphs. 1t is in close
touch with all the rest of the world.
Business brings strangers to it con-
stantly, who come like shadows and so
depart, unnOticed except by those with
whom they are Immediately concerned.
1t was rot so in 1774, not even in Phila-
dclphia, which was a. nearly as posi-
bic the central point of the colonies,
as well as the most populous city.
Thanks to the energy and genius of
Franklin, Philadelphia was paved, light
ed, and ordered in a way almost I'M
known in any other town of that period.
1t was we'll built and thriving. Business
was active and the people were thrifty
and prosperous, and lived well. Yet.
despite all these good qualities, we must
make an effort of the imagination to
realize how quietly and slowly life
moved then in comparison to the pace
of to-day. There in Philadelphia was
the center of the postal system of the
continent, and the recently established
mail coach called the Flying machine"
not in jest, but in praise, performed the
journey to New York in the hitherto
unequaled time of two days. Another
mail at longer intervals crept more
slowly to the south. Vessels of the
c~oastwise traffic, or from beyond the
seas, came into port at uncertain times,
and after long and still more uncertain
voyages. The daily round of life was
so regular and SO quiet that any Incl
dent or any novelty drew interest and
attention in a way which would nov be
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1898-03-26
a Modern DfmCuIfy.

Anxious Mother-Daughter, you look
wretched. I do wish you would go to
dear DR.. Helen and see what she can.
de for you.
Daughter (who is a contemporary Of
the new family physician)-Wen, I.
want to; but then, you see, 1 hate to
give her the satisfaction Of seeing me,
look like a perfect fright|udge.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1898-03-26
Little Pitcher.

4 bright little girl, who sees and
nears everything that is going on
around her, was present during a con-
3ersation the other day, in which 4
gentleman acquaintance of the family
was described as a "henpecked hus.
band" \ few days later the subject
of the gossip happened to call at the
house while the little one was in the
parlor. She looked at him with great
curiosity for awhile, and then, slipping
I'VE to her mothers side, whispered:
HE don't look like a picked chicken,
Iuamma,"-TroT Times.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1898-03-26
Serving Celery.

Not many people know that Il buncI.
Of celery in the hands of Il good house
keeper is one of the few things about
which there is absolutely no waste.
From an ordinary bunch Of celery of
five stalks pick Off the large leaves,
wash them, and place in Il quart of
water, letting the quantity boil down to
about half a pint; when cold bottle this
liquid and keep in 4 cool place to be
used for tlavoring gravies and soups.
Next, the fine roots; wash and boil the
same as potatoes, trying them with n
fork to tell when done. Cut them into
thin slices, add Il finely cut onion. and
make into 4 salad the same as the or
binary potato salad. The large and
coarser stalks of celery cut into inch
lengths, boil, cover with a cream sauce
and serve as Il vegetable. The delicate
stalks use rs ordinarily for n relish,
and the pretty yellow leaves will be
found to make Il pretty trimming for
the meat dish. This uses every scrap
of the celery itself. But the careful
housckeeper will not even discard the
string which ties the stalks together,
but if it is long enough will roll it up
for future Hse.-N. Y. Tribune.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1898-03-26

and q roar and a crish and a crash that
shook things enormous.
The volcano has belched,' 1 says
| and as l vas hurryin' on l seen some
thin comm tearin' down the road
lords me like q runaway boss. As it
got nigh me l see it was Toms hired
man.
bears. Bears. Bears.' he hol-
lored, as he went tearin' by.
"'Bears be durned.' l hollrred, stop
pin to argue with him. Bears amt
the pint. The pint is
But the hired man tore on out O.
sight.
"'Consarn emf 1 says. There amt
no more logic IN 'em than there's tieas
on Il catfish
so | hurried on to find out whether
there was enough left o Tom to be open
to conviction. | found him lyin' on the
ground at one edge o the pastur'. grOan-
in considerable, and squirmin' and wrig-
glin' and twistin' worse than if cholera
mOrbus had sot in. | riZ him so he sot
up, but it was 4 minute or more before
he got hlSself gethered together enough
to know where he WAS. Then it come
to him, and lool;in' up and seem me, he
says:
Did they chaw me up pooty ire
mendous. Abel? Am | clawed and
ripped up much by 'em?' says he.
Il see that he was stickin' to bears yit,
and it riled me.
"'Consarn yer, Tom says I. Bears
amt the pint! Did you fire that gun
or didn't you?'
The heft O evidence mOwt be that
| did, says he, but | wouldn't want to
swear that it wasn't earthquakes says
he.
Then l see he was kind O. gittfn'
round TO seein' the real pint O the argu.
ment, and Isays:
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1898-03-26

Tom.
Then l knowed that the gun had
kicked that panel O fence down and l
followed the trail through the panel O.
fence, found a gully plowed in the road
clean across it. mOre'n six inches deep.
kind D catty-cOrnered lords the woods
on t'other side. / followed the gully
off into the woods a couple O. rods, and
at the end of it | found the gun. chuck
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1898-03-26
His Dilemma.

Bass-I suppose you think I'm a fool?
Cass-That's what troubles me. If
your supposition is correct, then you
are a mind reader, and therefore you
cannot be a fool; and yet-well, you
Observation-Disclosures Transcript.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1898-03-26

May-Something told me Cholly
would call last night.
Addie-H'n! Perhaps It was Cholly.
Puck.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1898-03-26

. is it,!
to me- says he. that I re-
f it's qu:ttin' me, but | didn't
me to ask it where it was go.
le.
see that one side o. Toms
Fwelled up bigger'n Il pump
Fat he didn't have no use O'his
hlder, and he said he didn't
Fn the way he was feelin' in
5. that there was more than
ribs broke on that side. but
/ be five. looked around and
ri o rail fence down a roo OF
kls.
lid you tear that fence down
F'a'n't no fence tore down
md the gun came in says
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1898-03-26

question:
shoot D.
mule.
to it. Il
I'm argS
a mule,J
Tom
eff he I'd
Dolph. hi
SAND
that gurt
and bettd
Not d
Pap took
died, jest
from the
in il to XII
- aELnAe