The herald., 1898-12-31
and We BELIEVE II ALL
THE PHoNoaRAPH RECORD
FACTORY
Alleged Celebrities Shout Songs OF
Speeches Into Machine and Then
They're the Real Thing

They're the Real lining
The accomplished young woman visiting
the city with her father chung to the arm
of the New Jersey banker in mournful ter
ror as they hurried past gloomy building.
"How l pity the poor maniacs, she
sighed; "their haunting screams pierce my
soul"
But it was not an asylum--only phono-
graph factory. They were making rec
ords' inside, those wax cylinders sold by
the crate to country Barnums for their
nickel-in- -the-slot machines. You press a
button and the invisible maniac does the
rest. Every variety of noise is furnished on
these wax cylinders. A dying child, or po-
litical orator, the prima donna suffering
from the effects of boarding house break
fasts, maniac in the last agonies of recov-
eryl-anything you want, from wedding
march on German band of three from
bones and flute to Dixie is embraced in
the list of phonograph specialties.
Next to the madhouse uproar OF Coney
Island phonograph or graphophone, or
whatever you call it, there Isl nothing more
appalling if not curious than the noise that
pours into the machine hot from the per-
formers mouth as he shouts song or speech
at the phonograph receiver. The recording
factory may be called a noise canncry. 1t
lis a great scene when on a sunny day the
artists assemble in the record making
room. An alleged prima donna, in blonde
hair, whose complexion may or may not
have been spiked on with trunk nails,
mounts the rostrum and prepares for busi-
ness. A square headed young athlete sort
of racehorse tout, lsgint the work OF the
day by shooting Introductory speeches into
the phonograph tunnels.
"L-a-d-i-e-s and gentlemen: Mile.
La Scala, whom l have the honor to intro
duce to your critical attention, will now
give representation of Nine. Patti before
10000 people at the Crystal Palace in Lon
dom" Then the singer begins. You can
hear the firemen knocking in the doors, big
iron safes crashing down stairs, water pipes
bursting, naphtha tanks exploding, followed
by the dying agonies of the factory girls,
who are carried out in rubber blankets
Next comes the man with banjo. He is as
white as barrel of chalk, but to give natur-
aness to the music he is blacked up and
wears a collar above his ears. He sings plan
tation melodies, throws the notes against
the diaphragm of the phonograph, but nc
damage is done; they only strike the ma
chine and lose themselves in the wax.
Later, when the Oil City museum man
turns these minstrel cylinders loose, the
nickel-in- the-slot victims hear the planta-
tion negro sing his songs, hear the notes
bang the machine just as they did three
months before in the New York phonograph
asylum.
Now and then there is an occasional sing
er," now and then a Patrick Henry from
Flatbush or Long Island City, who is a
fairly good orator. One could not expect
the elouuence Of Cicero or John Bright from
a wax cylinder, punctured with four-dol-
lar-a-week voice. 1t is singular fact in
science that performer who is expert on
the telephone can seldom make himself un-
derstand on a phonograph 1t is said that
vibratcry tone, the voice of one of those
pretty girls whose silvery articulation is
ones delight on a telephone, is mo good"
in phonograph work. The utterance is not
produced. For monographs the performer
must have sledge hammer delivery that
bangs itself into the wax strong enough to
reproduce with force on the talking cylin.
der But what about the experimentation
the speeches of the great men! They, too,
are the work of imitators. In Atlantic City
is hall 100 feet long with talking machines
as thick as monuments in churchyard. Yon
drop o nickel in the slot and hear Glad
stones voice. Having never seen the great
man, you take the atendant's word for it,
authenticity But the man ''fibs."
A reformed expert confessed the Other
day the alleged songs by Lillian Russell
Melba and other artists are fakes They
are from mimics. Irving does not talk
from the waxened cylinders. 1t is some red
haired, beefy looking chap from Londor
music hall who fills the record with imlta
tons of Gladstone, Lord Randolph Church
i'll and other men Of renown. Some old
time music hall favorite now earns pit
tance by counterfeiting Della Fox, Pauline
Hall and other singers.
Suppose Gladstone did talk into phono
graph. The record" would wear out IN ar
hour or two with seaside crowd dropping
nickels into the slot to hear his English ac
cent and parliamentary eloquence. But
Notwithstanding the disgustngly low depths
into which phonograph science has beer
dragged by the talking machine takers, there
are fortunes in the business.
The next great step will be to remove its
pandemonum features and bring ii within
the pale OF clVll1ZatlOn. because tne Idklr'
and hucksters OF science are making money
out of the invention on a music hall basis
they do not care to perfect ito make il
practical for recording conversation, ser
mons, speeches and dictations to any length
1t is now an uncanny toy, machine yet il
chains and degradation, amusing the ignor
ant-a sort of mechanical circus clown to at
tract the mob.
However, it is some consolation to know
that fancy is putting its airy touches on tht
Invention and developing its possibilities
even as useful toy. 1t is said that with {
miniature phonograph in your watch Vol
can press a spring and hear little fairy
voice giving you the time of day or night.
In backwoods districts it is the fashion tt
yank out the phonograph and make it de
duty in. the clergyman's absence. 1t vii
give a wedding service. The guests hear i
slam banged into the church auditorium
with unctuous intonation as originally re
cited to the machine by redheaded music
hall performer in New York Then, again
it is useful in the Red Gulch Canyon dstrc
when a miner is to be buried and the onl,
clergyman within forty miles is above timber
line hunting for bear. The Red Gulch un
dertalSer starts the machinery and you have
dirge then the solemn funtral march from
Beethoven with enough omitted to make W