Gulf Coast breeze. [volume] (Crawfordville, Fla.) 1897-19??, 1898-03-18
HUMOROUS.

"What O queer look that fellow
across the corridor has!' eyes; he
has the pedestrian face. Doesn't
ride"
women" said the wisest youth,
"have such way Of arriving suddenly
at conclusion" "But not, "said the
savage bachelor, mot when they are
talking"
He-Will you fly with me? She
Certainly. Bring your airship around
at 3 o'clock and I'll be all ready but
putting on my hat. Then we can
start at four.
'T've never heard Mrs. Bibbers talk
much about her husband. l wonder
why it is?" "Probably because she
has so many interesting things to say
about her dog"
Mrs. Jones-I wonder what it is
that makes baby so wakeful? Mr..
Jones (savagely)-Why, it's hereditary,
of course!-this il what comes of your
sitting up nights waiting for me!
Smith - Doctor, the appendicitis
epidemic seems to have subsidized
somewhat during the last two years.
To what do you ascribe the cause?
DR.. Kill Won Kill-To hard times.
Papa-Alice, I thought I heard q
loud smack in the hall last night
Alice - Yes, Mr.. Upsey made that
noise with his lips when L told him
you had cleared $50, 900 in q wheat
deal. -
Jimpson (severely)-Tommy, never
let me hear you use the word "sling"
again. Always say throw" Tommy
Jimpson-Yes, paw. And did David
really put stone in his "throw" and
kill Collar?
Clerk-Shall make this ADVERTISE
ment read "the best in the world" or
"the best in the United States?" BIZ
cycle Manufacturer - "Best in the
United States" 1t means the same
thing and sounds more patriotic.
Literary Critic laying down'a new
book)-I wish every maid, wife and
mother in the country could read that
book. Able Editor-Well, run in a
line to the effect that that book is one
which no woman should be allowed to
see.
Mrs. Newlywed-I'm going to sprin.
kle a little poison on this piece Of
angel cake, and put it where the mice
can get it; I think. it will kill them.
Mr.. Newlywed-Why, of course it
will But why do you put the poison
on it?
Spirit Medium Ito skeptic)-Now
that you have conversed with the
spirit of your departed brother, are
you not convinced? Have you any
more objections to offer? Skeptic--
None except the fact that my brothers
are all living.
Advertiser-I wish this advertise.
ment placed in some part of the paper
where people will be sure to see it.
Editor-Yes, sir-yes sir. I can put
it alongside of On editorial, if you
wish. Advertiser. HIN Please put
it alongside of the baseball news.
Women" said Mr.. Kittiwink, ''are
entirely out Of place in such unfamil-
lar surroundings as the Alaska gold
mines. y II don't see Why" said Mrs.
kittiwink, looking up from her mend
ing basket "Tm sure I've always
known how to handle dust pan.
Miss Ancient Wantiman suddenly
nwakening)-I see you have my peck
etbook; but there's very little money
IN that compared with what have in
bank. Burglar (gruffly)-Well, there
amt no way to git that ! Miss An.
'ient Wantiman--H'm! Are you O
single man?
1T works this way" said the agent.
When burglar tries to open the
window this bell begins ringing and
wakes you up" BELL rings and
wakes Inc up?' said Pepper. "And
= wakes the baby, too. don't want
t. Take it away. l guess You don't
know that kid of mine"
Mrs. Gabb (hostess)-Your little
ION does not appear to have much
appetite. Mrs. Gadd-No, he is quite
ieiicate. Mrs. Gabb - Can't YOU
mink OF anything you would like, my
little man? Little Man No, m. You
zee, nom made me eat hull lot be-
ore we started, so l wouldn't make
zig of myself.
a poor man lay dying and his good
we was tending him. Don't YOU
hink You could eat bit of something,
ohnv Now, what can get for you?"
ritn a wan smile he answered feebly,
We'll, l seem to smell q ham a-cook.
ng somewhere; l think l could do
'i'h a DIT OF that" ooh, no, John,
ear, she answered promptly; you
an ! have that. That's for the fu.