The evening times., 1898-08-26
SOCIAL OBLIGATIONS.
None Like to linear Them without
Proper Return.

A recognized law in general society
unwritten. but absolute neverthe!ess-s
to return in kind all hospitality received.
says the Philadelphia Times. So far
from being based upon narrow and sor-
did principles. II IS. on the contrary, the
outcome OF legitimate independence. A
desire not to incur obligations that can
not adequately be met is a very natural
one. and this Is precisely why a strict in
terchange of hospitalities is the dominant
rule among those who entertain. So
thoroughly is this understood that many
who cannot offer return in this direc-
tion decline to accept invitations for this
ostensible reason. while others who do
accept them find that, when II becomes
apparent that no return Is forthcoming.
the invitations are far less frequent. If
they do not cease altogether. This more
especially applies TO dinner invitations
given to married couples. On the other
hand young men and young girls are
exempt from the obligation of giving a
return: they are invited without any ex-
pectation of ;ne kind. and. knowing this
accept as readily as the invitations are
given.
This give-and-take custom affects in
measure both widows and unmarried
ladies in a somewhat similar way as
with regard to married couples. al
though not to the same extent. Yet. as
a rule. those who do not give dinners
are the recipients of very few dinner
invitations outside their circle of reln-
tives. Here and there. however. smart.
agreeable widow or popular maiden
lady is invited because she Is all this
and more. but the exception almost DEM
onstrates the rule. 1t may be taken for
granted that. when the aforesaid ladies
do not enter tine list of dinne--givers,
II is because they cannot AFFORD to do SO.
whereas those whose incomes are large
are among the most liberal Of dinner
giyers and often return hospitality with
gracious alacrity.
In the country this rule of return hos
pitality Is open to notifications; that Is
to say. the broad principle holds good,
and country neighbors invite each other
TO dinner with the same regularity as in
town-dinner party for dinner party; !;
but. in addition to the principal resi-
dent gentry. many are invited from
whom return hospitality Is not expected.
This particularly applies to the clergy
and their families. 1t is the rule 10 invite
the vicar or rector Of a parish, with his
wife and daughter. to dine without a
return dinner being considered obliga-
tory. The same as regards a curate; he
occupies the position toward his host
40 uoNo Lie young DdCHefOf IN yOWn. i
Is thoroughly understood that the even
ings Of the clergy are too much occupied
to allow Of their being experienced din
ner-sivers. and that also their domestic
arrangements seldom admit of large din
ner parties being given by them Here
and there. however. a squire rector en-
tertains almost on the same lines as do
his principal neighbors. but these
wealthy clergymen are almost beside
the question, being so few among the
many.
Again. widow ladies with or without
daughters. and maiden ladies' with but
modest incofes. are Invariably invited ny
Their neighbors to- country dinner parties
without any idea OF a return f1ospitashy
being forthcoming. and this is one of the
social Advantages offered by a residence
In the country as against town Go ladies
Of good position and small means
Balls and dances In town are also given
on the return pripcipae-:nat at is, mothers
with daughters fipd It e, Z. dient to give
balls and dances If they expect their
daugters to De invited TO these entertain
ments. Many ladies give a ball or darce
annually during the season until their
daughters maEry or cease 20 care aboc;t
dancing. Coneeduently invitations ann1-
asfy fall 10 sheir lot from their ball,giviry
acQuaintances. Ladies who cannot af-
ford or undertake TO give bail or dance
find themselves among the number of
those who say. "We don't give dances. SO
the girls get yeiry little dancing The
exceptions to th!s rule are in favor OF
smart pretty girls, with equally smart
relations able to obtain invitations for
them. 1t goes without saying that invi-
taIaons to men. cali for no equivalent:
their presence IS only too eagerly desired
by givers Of dances and balls.
Afternoon parties may be said to al
ways evoke a corresponding return
Those who do not am at giving big func-
tons feel quite within their rights in Civ
ing small and unpretentious parties. and
thus they are able to offer small return
for the numerous Invitations to afternoon
teas received by them Hence the num-
ber q afterDoon parties that take place
each season. from very large gatherings