The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1898-05-25
SOLDIERS BUDGET.
DOOley on the War.

"Well," said Mr.. Hennessy in tones
Of cha' tened joy, "Dewey didn't do a
thing to thin. l hope tn poor la'ad
lent cooped up there in Minneapolis l.,
"Niver fear," said Mr.. Dooley calmly.
"Cousin George is ell fright"
"Cousin Georgep' Mr.. Hennessy ex.
claimed.
"Sure," said Mr.. Dooley. "Dewey
or Dooley, tits all tn same. We dhrop
a letter here an there, except th'
haitches-we niver dhrop thin - but
we're tn same breed if fghtn' men.
Georgy has III thraits iv TIL family.
Me Uncle Mike, that was a handy man
was tould wanst he'd be stint to he'll
FIR his nanny sins, an he deserved it,,
FIR Pavin' out tn wan sin iv runnin'
away firm annywan, he was booked i'r
Everything FIR murdher to missin' mass.
'Well,' he says, fanny place l can get
into,' he says, Il can get out iv,' he
says. 'Ye bet on that he says.
$50 it is with Cousin George. He
knew tn way in, an it's th' same way
out. He didn't go in be tn family in
thrance, sneakin' along with tn can
undher his coat. He left Ding Dong,
or whativer tits we call it, an says he,
THANK Gawd,' he says, 'I'm where
Mckinley can't give me his ideas iv
how to r-run quiltin' party an call it
war; he says. An so he stint man
down in divin' shute an cut tn ca
bles, SOS Mack cuddent chat with him.
Thin he Frances up to tn Spanish forts
an hands thin few oranges. Tosses
thin out like man THROWN handbills
FIR circus. Take that he says, an
raymimber tn Maine,' he says. An he
goes into tn harbor, where Admiral
What-th'-'ell is, an, says he, 'Surrir-
DER he says. 'Niver,' says tn Dago.
Well says Cousin George, "ll just
have to push ye ar-round,' he says.
AN he losses few slugs at tn Span
yards. Thu Spanish admiral shoots at
him with bow and arrow an goes
over an writes cable. This morn
in we was attackted,' he says. 'An,'
he says, we fought thu inimy with great
courage he says. Our victhry is COM
plete,' he says. we have lost ivry-
thing we had,' he says. eth threach-
erous foe,' he says, 'afther destroyin'
US, sought refuge behind mud scow,'
he says, 'but nawthin' daunted US.
What boats we cudden't run ashore
we surrir dered,' he says. Il cannot
wri g no more he says, 'as me coat. tails
are fire. he says, 'an' am bravely but
rapidly leapin' firm wan vessel to an
other, followed be me valiant crew
with fire engine he says. IF 1 can
save me coat-tails.' he says, they'll be
no kick comm, he says. Long live
Spain, long live mesilf.'
swell, sir, in twinty-eig minyits
be tn clock Dewey he had all thu Span
ish boats sunk an that there harbor
lookin' like a Spanish stew. Thin he
run down tn bay an handed few
war-rm vans into thu town. He set it
on fire an thin whit ashore to warm
his poor hands an feet. 1t chills thu
blood not to have anything TO do t'r an
hour or So"
"Tbin why don't he write some
thipg?" Mr. Hennessy demanded.
"Write?" echoed Mr.. Dooley.
"Write?" Why shud he write? Dye
think Cousin George amt got nawthin'
to do but to set down with fountain
pen an write. Dear Mack: At s
o'clock I begun a peaceful blockade iv
this town. Ye can see tn pieces livery
where. hope ye'er injyin' tn same
great blessin'. So no more at pris-
int. Firm ye'ers thruly, George
Dooley.' He amt that kind. IT'S a
nice day, an he's there, smokin' a
good tin-cint see-gar an throwin' dice
FIR tn drinks. He don't care whe Their
We know what he's done or not. I'll
bet ye whin we come to find out about
him we'll hear he's ilicted himself king
iv tn Filipino islands. Dooley the
Wanst. He'll be settn' up there un-
der pam three with naygurs fannin'
him an dhrop iv Ticker in tn hollow
of his arm, an hcotchy kootchy girls
dancin' befure him, an livery tin or
twinty minyits some wan bringin' a
prisoner in. who's this?' says King
Dooley. "A Spanish gin'ral, says tn
copper. 'Give him a typewriter an
set him to wurruk,' says tn king. 'On
with tn dance he says. An afther
awhile, whin he gifts tired iv tn game,
he'll write home an say he's got tn
islands, an he'll TURN thin over to
tn governmint an 60 back to his ship,
an Mark Hanna'll organize tn Flip
inc Islands Jute an Cider Comply,
an tn rivolutchinists'll wish they