Daily Kennebec journal., 1898-11-01

base tn cafe says they, an they ceizc
| th unfortunate Duclose an bate him
an upset his kettles iv broth. Name
time. where's Cap. Dhreyfuss? on In
his comfortable cage, swinging on tn
perch an atm seed out iv small bot
| tie stuck in tn wire. Be tn time tn
mob has destroyed what they see on
tn way they've f'got tn Cap. intireiy,
an he's safe fr another day.
"Tis unforch'nit, but 'tis thrue. TIL
Fr-rinch ar-re not steady ayether in
their politics or their morals. That 8
where they get done be tn hated Brit
ish. TIL diff renee in furrin policies is
the difference between a second-rate
safe blower an a first-class boonco
steerer. Th' Fr-rinch buy ton iv
dinnymite, spind five years in dhrillin'
hole through steel dure, blow open
tn safe, lose leg or an arm, an
get away with tn li'bilties Nv tn firm.
TIL English dhress up f'r Methodist
preacher, stick q piece iv lead pipe in
TIL tails iy their coat in case iv emar-
gency, an get all tn money there is
in tn line.
"In tn fr-rOnt dure comes tn Eng
lishman with a coon king on ayether
arm that's JUS loaned him their king
doms on prom 'ssory note, an dis
covers tn Fr-rinchman emargin' frim
tn rooms iv tn safe. What ar're ye
doin' here?' says tn Englishman.
Robin tn naygurs.' says th'
Fr-rinchman, bein' thruthful as well as
polite Wicked man. says tn Eng
lishman. What ar-re ye doin here?'
says the Fr-rinehman. Improvin' the
morals iv tn inhabitants says tn
Englishman. rs 1t not so, Rastus?' he
says. 1T is says wan iv tn kings.
I'm a poorer but betther man since
we came he says. Yes says tn Eng
lishman. ] propose f'r to thruly ray
form this unhappy counthry,' he says.
This benighted haythen on me ex-
threme left has been injooced to cut
out a good dale iv hts wife's business,
he says. AN go through life tormented
be ony wan spouse he says. 'Th
r-rest will go to worruk FIR me- he
says. All crap games bein' particular
ongodly'll be undher tn con-throl iv
tn government. which, he says, is me-.
Policy shops'Il be r-run carefully, an
I've appinted Rastus here Writer-ih-
Waitin' to Her Majesty he says. TIL
r-rum they dhrink in these par-rts,' he
says. is fearful he says. What shall
we do to stop tn ac-cursed thraffic !?
Sell thin GIN says /. ''Tis shameful
they shud go out with nawthin' to hide
their nakedness,' he says. I'll fetch
thin clothes. but he says. as tn
weather's too war-rum FIR clothes, I'll
not sell thin anything that'n last
long he says. If it wasn't FIR reli-
gion,' he says, L don't know what th'
ell tn wur-ruld wud come to- he says.
Who's religion?' says tn Fr7rinchman.
My religion says tn Englishman.
These pore, benighted savidges.' he
says, IL not be left to ye'er odjious
morals an ye'er hootchy kootchy
school iv thought. he says, but he
says, 'undher tn binif-cint r-rule iv a
wise an thrue government he says,
II be thurly prepared FIR Hivin,' he
says. 'whin their time comes to co. he
says. which l thrust will not be long,
he says. so. I'll thank We to be off.
he says, or I'll take tn thick end iv
the slungshot to ye,' he says.
THE Fr-rinchman is a brave man,an'
he'd stay an have it out on tn flure,
but some wan calls: "A base the
tH1Hnynan, an OH ne goes on anOtnef
thrack An whin he gets to th'
Chinnymen he finds TIL English We
abased thin already. An so he dances
firm wan par'rt iv tn wurruld to an
other like a riochous an happy flea, an
divvle tn bit iv progress he makes,
on'y thrubble FIR others an a merry
life FIR himsilf.''
IF England wint to war with
France said Mr.. Hennessy, suddenly,
I'D be FIR France
SO We wud, Hinnissy. So We wud,"
said Mr.. Dooley. An I'm not sayin'
that / wudden't f'rget that I'm an
Anglo Saxon long enough to take wan
crack at tn prince iv Wales with a
couplin' pin mesilf."-Chicago Journal.