The times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1897-1901, 1898-08-24
SKETCHES FROM THE STREET

mas" and samples of his endeavors to
solve these enigmas are to be found along
the streets every day.
Before the door of a colored eating
house in "Swampoodle" the legend Soup,
five cents a bold proudly faunts its
horrors. A vacant lot at nearby cor
ner thus gives warning to trespassers:
Notice. Keep out or will be prosecuted
according to the exent of the laws by
order"
Blacksmith and wheelrite" may be
seen almost in the shadow of the Capitol.
A tree on b Street bears the following
on a weather-beaten section of cardboard:
THE finder of the which axe left out
is the property of the house here and will
be returned or prosecuted Mrs. T. Will
liams.''
A junk store on NJ Street, Georgetown,
is thus published by its proprietors,
"Higest price for old iron, also hats and
embarrassing done. also bottles and
rags"
Washing and lemmonad and apples.
over a doorway on Maryland Avenue
smacks of the sign over the only store in
Gulf Junction. La, which reads: Gro
ceries, hardware, soft drinks and collins.
my fellow citizens" began the sena-
tor from the Philippines, who wanted
another term. my actions as your repre-
sentative in Washington will speak for
themselves 1t was I who retained the
dignity of our State, and, mark me, my
fellow citizens, that had it not been for
my actions our fair State Nould have
been cast out of the glorious American
Republic. Aye. when the vile ISLANDERS of
the Spanish representatives rang through
the halls of our Congress, befouiinS our
fair name and creating such Juror that
we were nearly voted out of the Union,
it was 1 who stood firm and defended my
State with such force and eloquence that
we were allowed TO remain by vote OF
666 10 Ill.
Nor did I cease there. my fellow citi-
zens During my daily repasts with Pres
ident Mckinley / so thoroughly impressed
him with our Importance that he has de-
cided TO build Summer cottage within
the fair boundaries of our State. Think
of 1T, my fellow citizens. think of it,
81 have now before Congress a meas
ure demanding that our State be named
Dewey also a measure providing for the
removal OF the w dSNlNBlOH
and the capital TO our city; also a meas
ure making the Fourth of December the
national holiday in place of the Fourth of
July, when ii is too hot to celebrate.
Il but ask that I be returned to pass
these measures. my fellow citizens, and
l shall never rest until / have passed
them"
YES. SIR said the veteran, that was
way back in 1898. On the glorious third
of July we were lying in front of Santi-
ago and the bullets were just
Joint" screamed his wife, Dewey
playing with your razor
"Yes, sir. as | said. the bullets were
just a-popping like rain. 1 was fiat on
John" said the voice from the inner
room, 'Schley won't leave the cat be"
II was fat on my face resumed the
veteran when l saw one of our boys
drop over. and"
John, Shafter has run outdoors"
''As / said. | saw him drop with four
boles in his forehead, and would you be-
lieve-''
John. won't You whip Sampson for
being naughty"
Would you believe it, sir, before he
died he asked me for a
John. please come TO Hobson. he won
be quiet "
YES. sir he asked for a chew of to-
bacco But before l could get II for him
a shell struck
..Iohn Miles IS beating Olympia"
..Oh, drat them children. Wait mo
ment, sir, and I'll finish the story.
mo. sah." said the colonel, as he
drained his third glass of whisky. No.
sab. I'm no halfway friend. san. When
I'm your friend, sab, I'm yours truly,
sab.
'sWhy. I've known men-ingrates snail
I call them?-who have actually passed by
bars in my company when they had mon
ey in their pockets. I'm not that sort OF
a friend, sab. I have also known men
who have stolen my last drop of bourbon,
sab. when they knew 1 was i'll and re-
quired it, sab.
I'm free and open. sab. and 1 treat
my friends like a gentleman. sab, and
introduce them as gentlemen to gentle
men, sab.
Il remember on one occasion, sab, when
my friend Breckenridge introduced me to
President Cleveland, sab, Col Breck-
inridge said: Col. Cleveland, let me give
you Brazilian introduction to my friend.
Col Blue. This is Col Blue, Col. Cleve-
land
90 But. sah. said Col Cleveland, what
is a Brazilian introduction, sah?'
Why. sah.' answered Col Breckin-
ridge, when a Brazilian gentleman intro
duces his friend he says: This is my
friend. If he steals anything l am re-
sponsible.'
Yes, sah,' said the colonel, che was a
gentleman, sab. All. we have no such
gentlemen now, sah.''
He had stormed a hundred trenches and
had raised a hundred flags; he had
starved and he had thirsted, and his
clothes were shot to rags: he had slain
thousand foemen. and had captured sixty
guns; he had slept in pools of water and
had burnt meath tropic suns.
His hide was full of bullets, machete
wounds and bayonet jabs; he lost forty
different horses and had thirty saber
stabs. He thought he'd earned promo
ton, but he found he was fool: the be-
partment couldn't see him, cause ne