The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1898-12-11
,HOT-STOyE PARLIAMENT.
SOME OF EMINENT CITIZENS
DISCUSS THE PHILIPPINES.

Inc reg lars nHu dbStWOlbu III the TOhu@
ing room OF the old Bowery lodging house. dis
cussing big fires in old New York when old
DIR. Gimlets appeared, and. squeezing through
4 the crowd. said:
Get over there, Buttons, Give me a show
at tiiat stove"
Buttons,a tall, thin hobo with a grizzly beard.
moved n step. and answered in a husky voicei
I'm cold meself. l only had two hookers
ter-dnv. Times Is glttln' hard an de bar
tenders is gittin' harder. II Il keeps on like
dis. I'll emigrate meself ter de PHILIPPINE Isl-
ands."' =
II see we're RoiD' ter pay two hundred mil.
lion dollars ter Spain for thin Philippines"
remarked High Hat HaRgerty.
You're mistaken" said a little man with q
sdueaky voice. who was known IN the lodging
house as Stars the AstroloGer. You're mis-
taken rs to the terms OF the treaty"
Pm mott replied Haegerty. "DidntI read
It in de paper ter-niRht? I'll leave it ter DIR.
Gimlets-two hundred millions, OATS what We
must nay to Spain"
well. eh. as I understand It." said the doo-
tor. as 1 understand II, In the final treaty
Spain gives up all claim to Cuba, Porto Rico.
the Ladrone Islands and the Philippines. Then
she pays us an indemnity Of fifty million dollars
for our losses in the war"
See ERE. DOCTOR chimed in Gabby Jones.
see 'ere-this country.must pay Spain twenty
million bounds. That's 'ow II stands. doctor.
and when:the treaty is signed In Paris. tho
Give some one else a show to talk" Inc
corrupted Haggerty. sit down. Gabby. lam
let the Germsn professor say sometime"
The person referred to as the German pro-
lessor was q short. stout man. with a long.
\ white beard. He wore green goggles.
Hey. professor" shouted HaRRerty, what's
your opinion of the treaty."
"Vell.' said the professor. IF I we're der
United States. l wouldn't except der terms.
| tink Spain should allowed not be to sell der
Philippines Island. Why should We not want
TO buy something which We want not to use.
Dose islands is only good to a foreign Cow
ment which would near be to der Chamber Of
Commerce NIT trade. or course We are not
such a foreign gov'ment. We are here-not
dere. II der islands could be trapsportationed
like a steamboat. den We hero could afford to
take dem mitout demanding any identity. But
as is it. We should remand from Spain an
identity OF fifty million, dollar for war exc
penseatures.'
Remember de Name said HaRgerty. I'VE
ought to make Spain build a new boat for us.
What does de Count de Rats tink about it?"
re question is for ze great statesmen in
Paree." remarked the man addressed as the
Count. Leave it in Paree."
Tn not agreed by you.' said the German
professor. We want not Frenchmen to settle
tIngs for 'Mericans. We want only ourself for
such a business. But / tink We got no need
from use of dem islands. We mieh give dem
to Amen Schmitt over dere for missionary
work. vhat?'"
Give Amen Smith a show said HaRgerty.
A hatchet-f face man whose skin was yellow
and dry got up and in a melancholy voice said
slowly:
Gentlemen. in my opinion. the United
States should bay the islands for the Ameri-
can missionary societies. Here we have to
send our American missionaries into China
and ma Africa Go.s to Look f fer the heo' T3Eiiyilts .nbi.N We
and sRs now's oSE chance; "a lead a band irom
do our mission work. and it would be beauti-
cot sY tp1cfs %fi1 e zsI 0s 5snarked Buttons You
Amen Smiths ali right" said Gabby Jones.
the pe' United tee pH States s'i hodersd h to pay to sp pahs
an 'undred million pounds sterling; providing
SSealP rs SSs's f' tSe U En tie pf sestss pa rnls tS aenss
:~ :Ths ph Hiifaiaass!'' sa lRaq gosss. the doctor,
get the Philippines and twenty millions be-
IN "Why; the The Matters ps,.e'oas already .Es settles" shsi ,5.
Willis WilliSnf i a Thsa Ne sIftv assume %i|Pion the no Cuban an DEBT =:
You're mistaken remarked the doctor,
Columbus amt mentioned in the treaty OF
"Coiumbus is mentioned" argued Stars.
DO you mean Columbus. Ohio" Rravely -
Pm sueaEing' of the dead body of Christo-
pher Columbus" remarked STARE
. ]" .!S. eol Snd bu DEAR tong Inquired DssR BSssSnf stss,.
He's been cold in his grave for 200 ye lrs.
That 1hfaat reminds me that the earth IL getting
years it'll get SO cold that we'll be inventing
machines to escape to, other planets. We'll
Get back to the Philippines" said Haz-
Exactly y continued stare "EGetti9E back
actually at bays giv ~ cn %1oneSy to spain an5 a lnop giving IN III
".Nothink to the trouble you caused SPAIN"
Yer true. monsieur" added the Count.
Yer, true! Where is re navy foE spain"
f.s ssnain .s gSt not +. a . Ssyy;% r en- ARK d. the r.:
asettlement We should give. Spain back to him
money which he never paid for his Spain bonds
on der Cuban debt. together NIT der exports.
President KinIey settles der inals nit sign.
ing der neace c9T missioner' everybody would
DR.. 1G Gimie,s m': "fks pr eFGidissssoG e. the rsT Gnlted
States don't have TO sign the treaty. That 10
the duty OF the Senate. II the Senate ap-
proves OF the terms Of settlement. the treaty
hen goes TO the Cabinet and the Cabinet mem-
bers all have a say"
ne Cabinet got nawthin' ter do wild IT," said
Haggerty.
Nor. gentlemen. the United States Senate.
either" added Amen Smith.
"Pardons, monsieur, but Congress conseeders
IL after" remarked the Count.
You keep quiet" said Haggerty. You're
supposed to, be dead. Just tipk TO yourself
hearse at de head OF de funeral. SeeY"
The H'American Parliament hat Washing
ton 'as the last say over the treaty !" rsmaEked
%ippines. Why that Niger Haguinaldo de-
mands 5000 bounds from the United States
ter keep is face clean"
Nonsense said DR.. Gimlets. "Aguinaldo
is a rebel. Well let him smell Dewey's pow
der. and he'll drop into the China Sea. But
fits useless to discuss the subject. The treaty's
been siened; and well get twenty millions
Spain Is to get twenty millions from u.s."
said Jones.