Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1898-05-15
AN INTERESTING BABY-sHOw.
GREAT EXPECTATIONS SHATTERED.
How n Household Darling Was De-
MED the Coveted Prize-The Nan
and the BulIetin-Indignant with
the Newspapers.

of a sensational nature was AT us HtiSht
on the second floor. and all the neigh
bors quit their duties to surreputiously
ascertain the why's and wherefores. Even
n cross-eyed manor rather a cross-eyed
woman, whose tears trickle down her
back when she weeps-could see that
something extraordinary was happening.
And what I'm the name OF goodness was
it? Was long-suffering, much-abused,
and hitherto patient husband beating
wife who had bulldozed Rim for years?
No, not that; such retribution seldom
occurs. Had a mouse broken loose
amongst a gathering OF spinsters who
were banded together to protest against
football? No, the vile game is still per-
mltted. or was the commotion due 10
the fact that a tramp had gotten into the
house and was devouring the family
plate and the Royal Worcester china?
No, assuredly not that, for hath not our
City Council practically endorsed the
tramp? Something more momentous,
more thrilling, and more important than
all these things combined was happening.
Bakers Dozen, the nocturnal canary OF
our domicile, was being prepared for a
baby show and six members OF the es-
adjustment, including the cook and
house-girl, were girding him for the con-
test. Yes, our new-mown infant, whose
cherubic gums have not yet been pierced
by even their first tooth, was to be en-
tered into this great match Of adolescent
pulchritude The habby little carcass had
been encased in its clinging accoutre-
ments, the dimpled feet had been showed
into their worsted buskins, and the fuzzy
skull had been rammed into the gauZy
cap which chung TO his Uranium like pa
per on the wall. And last, but not least,
the whole business had been clinched
with innumerable safety-pins-that is TO
say, the whole business save the tooth
less fangs OF the perspiring Liliputian,
which emitted a lusty shout Of supreme
disapprobation. Nurse looked queenly in
a muslin apron and lace cap. and with
mahogany face and hands and feet TO
match.
This bedecking OF the infant was the
cause of the excitement, and the hub
bub needs no further explanation. SINH
lar scenes were being enacted in fifty
besides Bakers Dozen-nay, even after
he and the fifty to whom / allude have
developed into men and women, still
others will take their places. At least
this is what old people tell me.
Willing hands lifted the precious. but
ungraclous, contestant down the front
steps, and he rolled away in fearful tri-
umph towards the scene of the contest.
And so, too, did the fifty other tootsy-
wootsieS whose parents had entered
them at the baby-show. Possibly some
CT these other mothers may have had
their doubts as TO the prize-winning ca
pacities of their infants, but not SO much
as a suspicion Of Bakers Dozens failure |
crossed the minds Of the sextette who |
waved him adieu. With those six women |
it was only matter of waiting, for SUI |
preme confidence was theirs. The only |
thing that worried them was the possible |
discovery Of a baby who might be one |
fourth as handsome as the nocturnal |
canary.
II was a long time before the nurse re-
turned, for even the most sklful cannot |
examine fifty babies in less than three |
hours, but finally the colored dame and |
her precious charge came back. 1t was
i'm the dusk when they arrived. and the |
gray light of the cleaning had dimmed |
the landscape and every object in the |
The infant was aweary |
and fretful, and champed his veil like a |
fretful horse with its bit. Nurse, too, 4
was subdued, and had not word 10 say. /
They all met the pair at the Threshold,
and the Commander-in-C Chief, with con-
hdence born Of maternal pride, exclaim-
Ell: Mother knew her darling would get |
that prize. Those other old babies might
Just as well have staid at home" But
The nurse spake not, nor did she produce
the desired trophy.
And for a moment there was silence In
The cleaning. and the pause was awful
To relieve the pressure the cook cried
cut: Lets see the prize that sugar
lumpy, dumpy chumpsy got"
Still there was no response; the silence
was frightful.
Then you didn't so TO the baby-show,
jid you. Nurse" queried the Commander
in-Chief. in a stern voice which was an
index to rising wrath
"Yes'm. / was there, and DO ladies say 4
his embroidered petticoat was beautiful
and that he was a pearr looking chile"
1uoth the colored dame.
And still the Commander-ify 'hlef re-
fused TO realize the truth. or 4 perceive
what actually had happened.
Where is that price," she again de-
and it was then that the crisis
came
"A little dried-up looking baby what
iidn't have no hair on its head got it,"
was the awful reply.
And then we heard single word from
he Commander-in-C Chief which bctoken-
"a every human emotion. but especially |
wrath.
'What",i!l! she shrieked. and then
he snorted. The air around her became
blue. She was sublime-subllme. but hor-
'ible.
Didn't get H. did you say? our baby
lidn't get ii? They gave II to a little
lried-up looking baby that didn't have
my hair on its head. did they?"
10 one dared 10 speak: language was
Utterly inadequate for the occasion. and |
moreover. no explanations would have
)een satisfactory.
When at last the silence was broken
here was a CULVER IN the voice OF the In
ants mother--a CULVER Of intense grief
With a liberal ingredient OF wrath. She I
imply said:
u don't care who got that prize; I