The leader., 1898-03-23

louisiana has proudly come to the front
with descriptions of its nonogenarians,
ceutenarians and other oldest inhab-
itants," of sturdy old men carrying
around with them memories of another
century, men who had been-or thought
they had been-bear hunting with Dan
;el Boone, or men who had cut-or
thought they had cut-the first stick Of
timber where great city now stands;
Of sprightly ladies who, at the ripe
old age of 10, can still spin, dance the
minnet, read the Bible through sever
n or more times year without spec
taclcs, and walk ten miles day uphill,
10 say nothing of the amount of talking
they are still able to accomplish.
Somehow the Pelican state has been
strangely rcmiss in presenting her
claims in such matters. If our ancient
vorthies-or worthy ancients-haven't
been brought before the public it has
certainly not been from the lack of
subjects. Among our citizens, especial
" in the Creole parishes, are num-
bers of splendidly preserved specimens
of old age. 1t has been said that plenty
of our Cajuns live to be as old as the
famous She, so old that they either
blow up the chimney or turn to autumn
leaves.
There's one thing that can be said
for Louisiana, she undoubtedly bears
the palm for having produced the old
est bridegroom on record-that is, on
the records of modern times. OF course,
we don't count those frisky, 500-year
old chaps of antiquity, who seem to
have spent all their leisure hours win
ming new brides.
Tie fine old southern gentleman of
whom write, lived, moved and had his
being in Onachita parish, and did his
tradn' at the little village of Trenton.
Though he has long since been gathered
to his fathers, his memory is still green
in the hearts of the people of that sec
ton.
In his early days, when frolicking
along in his 7O's and SOS, this gentle
man had led several blushing brides
to the aItar-how many l won't say for
fear my veracity may be questioned.
Any way, we are not concerned with
his early nuptials. We have to do only
with the wooings following his hun
dredth birthday, for he was married
two or three times after that period,
and there's no knowing how many
more times the bridal ceremony would
have been performed for him had he
not been snatched off in his prime.
Mine ancient--whom we will call Jerry
Grstle, simply because his name was
not Gristle-was known far and wide
in this part of the country as the
champion marryist of the age. And
finally the people came to take "a great
natural pride in him, pointing him
out to passing strangers with as much
pleasure as if he were the Bridge of
Signs, the Mammoth Cave or the Mis-
sissppi river.
None knew the exact age of Jerry
GrStle. Some said the family Bible
wherein was recorded his birth was de-
stroyed in a steamboat explosion in
loo, but the schoolmaster of the set
tIement said there was evidently an
anachronism in that statement. don't
know what he meant. Others again
declared he was 500 years old. He
oldnt contradict this, but never quite
believed it.
Many very old people display unbe-
coming vanity over their old age, Civ
ing themselves airs, and taking all the
credit for their longevity, but l am
happy to say that Jerry was not pulled
up with any such silly pride. He bore
his honors meekly. But candor COM
pels the recital of few facts I'd fain
conceal, ifnot so painfully conscientious.
We all know there are several things
required of every oldest inhabitant,
many things besides his great age. In
TACT, custom has given us a standard,
up to which every applicant for Oldest
nhabitantship should come. In the
hrst place he is expected to have nursed
Washington, to have lived on cold water
and raw leaves and deerskin for six
weeks at one time, when lost in the
forest where the state capital now
stands, and, il southerner, to have
"aded across the Mississippi at New
orleans when that brook was yet wad-
aole' and to have been the only sur
NVor OF the Alamo. All of these duties,
III ashamed to say, were shirked by
my oldest inhabitant, though in eX-
.ehuation of the Alamo neglect of duty,
he claimed to have been too old to par
uelpate in the Mexican unpleasantness.
Indeed, it has been said that his ex-
IRENE age during the revolution pre-
vented his flying around with Paul
zones or skipping down steps with "0ld
rut' But that is evidently an exag-
geration; for he certainly received
pension for his services to the young
republic. Then Jerry left undone many
.h'ngs he should have done; If he had
mad particle of regard for the feelings
OF his biographer. He never took out
the first patent for a cotton gin, never
travelled in the first steamboat, never
started the first newspaper in the
United States. In another way did he
iail below the conventional q. X. stand
ard lie should never have used to-
oaeco in any form, and should never
nave tasted drop of whisky in his
NE. How delightful to be recorder
oI such virtues! But, alas! that delight
iuiness is not mine. He used the vile
weed in every known form, and it pains
me TO say that instead of being rare
old example in the temperance line.
practice had made him perfect in the
art OF sampling the ardent" How
ever, he never drank to excess, and was,
In literal sense, man of regular
haoits, taking his six toddies day reg
uiarly by the clock, instead of reckless
~ going by the sun, or getting SNAKE
oi'ten' at every convenient hour.
when Washington was inauguratcd,
Jerry first haoou - hcroAoe avArv