The age-herald., 1898-07-28
MR. COOLEY ON
 OUR CUBAN ALLIES

From the Chicago Journal
 Well. sr.' said MT Dooley "dam thim cubans If was GinraI shafter, I'd back up tn wagon in front iv tn door an I'd say to Gin'ral Garshy, I'd say, T want you an I'd have thim all down to tn station an dacently booked be tn desk sergeant befure tn fall iv night. Tn im- pydince iv thim."
 What have they been doin' 2" MT. Hen messy asked.
 "Failin' to understand our civilization" said MT. Dooley. "Ye see it was this way This is tn way it was. Gin ral Garshy with wan hundred thousand mems been fightin bravely fur two years fir to liber- yate Cubia. F'r two years he's been mar chin his siventy-five thousand men up an down the island destroyin' tn naughty Spanyard be tn millyuns. Whin war was declared he offered his own sarvices an tn sarvices iv his army iv fifty thousan' men to tn United States, an while wait in fir ships to arrive, he marched at tn head iv his ten thousan' men down to San dago de Cuba an captured cigar facthry, which they soon rayjooced to smokin ruins. They was holdin' this position Gin'ral Garshy an his gallant wan thou san men-whin Gin'ral Shafter arrived. Gin'ral Garshy immedjty offered tn sar- vices of himself an his two hunderd men fir tn capture iv Sandago, an whin Gin 'ral Shafter arrived, there was Gin'ral Garshy with his gallant band iv fifty Gu bians r-ready to eat at minyut's notice
 "Gin'ral Shafter is big, coorse, two- listed man from Michigan, and whin he see Gin'ral Garchy and his twinty-five gall lant followers, 'Fr-ront,' says he. This way he says, 'stip lively he says, an move some of these things he says Sir, , says Gin'ral Garchy, dye take me for a dhray" he says. I'm a sojer,' he says, not baggage car,' he says. I'm a Cuban pathrite, an I'd lay down me life an the lives iv livery wan of these eighteen brave men iv me devoted army he says, but I'll be damd if I'll carry thrunk,' he says Tll fight whinever it's cool he says, an they ain't wan iv these twelve men here that wouldn't follow me to hell if they was awake at tn time,' he says, but he says, if twas wurk we was look in fur we cud have found it long ago. he says. 'They'se lot iv'it in this chountry that nobody's usin', he says. What we
 
 if ye think we has been in the woods dodg- in the savage correspondint fur two year. he says, fur the sake uv rushin' yer laun- dhry home,' he says, 'tis no wonder he says, that the roads from Marinette to Kalamazoo is paved with goold bricks bought by the people iv yer native state he says.
 "So Shafter had to carry his own thrunk an well it was fir him that it wasn't Gin 'ral Miles, tn weather bein' hot. An Shafter was mad clear through, an whin he took hold iv Sandago an was sindin' out invitations he scratched Garshy. Gar shy took his gallant band iv six back to tn woods an there tn three iv them are now, armed with forty rounds iv canned lob ster an r-ready to raysist to tn death. Him an tn other man has written to Gin 'ral Shafter to tell him what they think iv him, an it don't take long,"
 Well" said MT. Hennessy, 'I think Shafter done wrong. He might have asked Garshy in fir to see tn show, seein' that he's been hangin' around fir a long time doin' tn best he cud."
 "It isn't that explained MT. nooley. 9Th throuble is tn Cubians don't under sthand our civilization. Over here freedom
 
 ton iv us all, Hinnessy? Iris ayether to hould our job or to get wan. We want wurruk. We must have it. Dye raymim- Der tn sign tn mob carrier in tn process sion las year, Give us wurruk or we per- ish,' it said. They had their heads bate in be policemen because no philanthropist'd come along an make thim shovel coal.
 Now, in Subia, whin tn mobs turns out they carry a banner with tn. wurruds Give us nawthin' to do or we perish Whin a Cuban comes home at night with a happy smile on his face he don't say to his wife an childher: Thank Gawd, I've got wurruk at last He says Thank Gawd, I've been fred An tn childher go out an they say: 'Pah-pah has lost his job, an Mrs. Cubian buys herself a new bonnet, an where wanst they was sorrow an despair all is happiness an a cottage organ.
 ."Ye can't make people here understand that, an ye can't make a Cubian undher- stand that freedom means tn same thing as a pinitinchry sintnce. Whin we thry to get him to wurruk he'll say: Why shud IT I haven't committed amy crime That's goin' to be tn trouble. Tn first thing we know we'll have another war in Cubia whin we begin distributin' good jobs. twelve hours a day, wan sivinty-five. Tn Cubians ain't civilized in our way. some- times think I've got touch iv Cubian blood in me own veins"