davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-11-13
SPANISH PRovERB.

blanche M. Claiming in Boston Journal.)
lei ultirno mono Sc aho@a."
-(The last monkey gets drowned)
Our neighbors, the Dons, have neat lit
OF voicihg themselves in a saw.
There's plenty Of character given away
In this statement of natural law.
The acme of selfish astuteness and guile
think it clear. we have found.
When the Spaniard remarks, with a
shrug and a smile,
That , The >, last little monkey gets
This cynical saying explains more or
Why the naughty officials of Spain
Have got their colonial affairs in a mess,
And cannot adjust them again.
With every 'inducement to pilfer and
The man new in office soon found
He might leave his successor the bulk of
Since, The last little, monkey gets
drowned"
The wars at an end and we don't want
The Seniors of Madrid again;
We want to be kind-but we mustn't lose
sight
OF the singular ethics of Spain.
She'll probably try, by her threats or her
The big Uncle Sam to come round.
But she must not prolong the discussion
For 'Tne last little monkey gets
drownedi'
That last little monkey of cruel design,
The covetous monkey of greed
Who tries round her fortified islands to
Irvine
HIS wicked long tail, won't succeed.
He may chatter and grin, and play many
a trick
His wiles- and beguilings abound
pretty quick, q
Lest The last little monkey gets
droWned!'
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-11-13
THE POLICE MIDDLE.

The tangle in the police department
Of Salt Lake City is fully as hard to
unravel as it was a year or two years
ago. The mayor. and the chief and the
courts are still working on it, and
every move makes the task seem more
hopeless.
In Chief Pratt's application for an
increase Of the force, he states that the
necessity for more men was created
by the return of the colored troops to
the city. And still, when the mayor
recommended to the council that a re-
duction be made, the troops were here.
1t was before they went to war. The
same conditions existed then that ex-
list now, insofar as the point made in
the chiefs application goes.
This tangle is perplexing. Taxpayers
are compelled to pay salaries to men
who are performing no services to the
city; they are asked to employ two
more policemen for duty, said to have
been unnecessary under similar cir
cumstances a few months ago: they
are Obliged to pay the expenses of
testing all these technicalities in court:
anG, in view of these facts, the council
ought to go slow and practice little
economy in the police department. for
awhile.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-11-13

terminating with heavy clouds of half
consumed particles of vegetable fibre,
the very air we breathe.
All the boys and girls and some Of
the adult citizens seem to have this
mania for making smoke, under the
Illusion that they are making bonfres;
whereas, these leaves make no blaze.
We suggest a more profitable use
for the fallen leaves. Gather them
into the barns for winter bedding for
the horses and COWS, or lay them upon
the soil of the orchard or vegetable
garden. where they can be kept in
place by throwing over them a few
shovelfuls of earth. BY either of these
methods the fallen leaves viii be put
to their natural and proper use, that,
namely, of returning to the soil the
elements they have taken from it; or
Of adding to the soil what they have
taken from the atmosphere.
Leaves have their time to fall,
And flowers wither at the north wind s
breath,
writes the poet. Whoever can in
duce the citizens to make some other
use of this debris than filing the air
with the smoke and Fumes thereof,
viii be q public benefactor. Perhaps
the members of the city council can see
their way, Notwithstanding all this
smoke, to do something about it.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-11-13
DUELLiNG IN AUSTRIA.

The duel between two deputies of the
Austrian reichsrath seems to have
been genuine. Both participants were
badly wounded and, strange to relate.
none of the bystanders We're injured.
as frequently happens in European
duels.
Wolff, the victor, is a journalist, and
his adversary was champion of the
Poles. WIFI made some offensive re-
mark concerning the Polish people,
which De Gneiwosz- resented by CALI
ing Wolff "a cad" To show that he
was a Wolff and not cad the Journal
list challenged De Gneiwosz to mortal
combat. Swords We're the weapons at
close range. The fight was fierce and
fast, but Wolff won.
a year ago there was a duel fought
at the Austrian capital in which the
premier, Count Badeni, was severely
wounded by a pistol ball. The high
official characters of the men concerned
in these affairs Of honor, so-cailed. and
the fact that the civil authorities are
Indifferent, may give an impetus to this
method Of settling personal quarrels
throughout all European countries.
In, the United States the code has
been abolished apparently beyond all
hope of resurrection, although there
were any number of Americans ready
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-11-13
AN UNPATRloTIc GIRL.

There are vain, foolish girls, even in
st. George, it seems; or. rather, there
was one before Sadie Conger eloped
with an alleged Spanish officer from
Cuba, according to a special printed in
The Herald.
a real Spanish officer would have a
hard time explaining his presence in
southern Utah so soon after the close
of the war. and the girl who would
take up with a stranger making such
pretensions, is either very romantic or
very anxious for beau, or both.
Too many novel-reading damsels in
rural sections are playing star parts
in sensations Of this character They
are not employed in body and mind as
they ought to be, or there would be
fewer escapades like this che reported
from st. George.
Romantic natures are liable to cut
unexpected and extraordinary capers
but no patriotic lass would ever elope
with Spaniard, in view of the late
unpleasantness and before the terms of
peace have been arranged.
Sadie should have waited until some
disposition was made of the Philip
pines, and it might have been better
for all parties concerned if she had
decided to wait even longer. This may
lead to further international complica-
tons It was extremely thoughtless in
Sadie.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-11-13
NO MORE suBTERFuGE.

Said the New York Tribune, the
leading Republican paper Of the coun-
try, on the eve of the election, Nov. s:
Vote for the Republican candidates
for representative in congress. They
are all sound money men, while their
opponents are for free silver or are
trimmers who do not dare to tell what
they are for. The free silver majority
in the United States senate has 50 far
made any currency reform legislation
impossible. The hope of q final set
tlement of the sound money question
rests in the election this fall of q
sound money congress in both branches,
which viii pass a currency law and so
take the subject out of politics. The
Bryanites are doing their best to pre-
vent such a settlement, believing that
with free silver congress elected now,
they can pave the way for q victory
for the Chicago platform in 1900.
There you get it. Republican candi-
dates, it says, were "all sound money
men" That is, they are oddities, while
the, Democratic candidates ARE for
free silver"
When party organ can pretend to
ignore all the utterances of its party
press, all the declarations of it's party
platforms, and all the speeches of its
party leaders. on this question, and can
even maintain, in the face of it all,
that the Republican party is the friend
Of silver. of what use is it to argue?
But what do silver Republicans
think? Can all Of them be fooled all
the time? VIII they consent to be
fooled till 1900?
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-11-13
Palpable Misfts.
Waverly Magazine.)


A good cid story is told Of a minister
who, after protracted sermon from a
temperance orator, who had in too
great abundance the gift of continu-
ance, arose and remarked, Let US now
sing hymn No. so-and-so. And are we
yet alive?" Possibly, it is rather too
good to be true, but it suggests the
care that needs to be exercised in the
choice of hymns
At the annual meeting of womans
missionary society, the minister of the
church was asked to preside, to give
special dignity to the celebration. AS
often happens at these festivities, it
was one Of those perfectly impossible
days, which daunt even the dauntless.
1t was in March, and after a heavy
snowfall a warm thaw had set in, ac-
conpanied by pouring rain. The slush
was more than ankle-deep, overshoes
were a mockery, and umbrellas were
equally futile. The pastor and his wife
and eight valiant women assembled
for the meeting and struggled bravely
for .cheerfulness. The minister hur-
riedly chose a hymn, and they sur
rounded his desk and began to sing:
Savior, visit thy plantation;
Grant US, Lord, a gracious rain!
They got through the first three
verses, but on the first line of the
fourth, But drouth has since sue
ceeded,' the fresh young voice of the
pastors wife, who was the leader,
wavered and stopped. 1t was of no
use. Then nine Jealous missionary
the pastor cordially joined in. Next
time you ask me to lead" he said, Il
will choose the hymns before [ come
into the Dulpitr'
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-11-13
BREACHES OF PROMISE.

A young lady of Boulder, Mont,
has brought suit for breach of promise
against rich mine-owner of the same
place. She claims TO have been dam
aged in mind and heart about $4,000
worth, by reason OF her lovers infidel-
ity, and asks the court to give her a
Iien> on the Cray Eagle mine to that
extent.
A similar action was begun in this
city few months ago, but nothing ever
came of il
There was a time when these suits
were all the style, but their success in
securing sentimental damages in some
instances presented many temptations
to designing females VINO never really
deserved the man at all; or, if they
did. It was generally believed that an
action in re0levin would have been
more appropriate anyhow. And so this
class Of litigation fell into innocuous
desuetude.
The breach of promise days are about
over Broken hearts do not excite the
sympathy now that they used to.
Blighted affections are a drug on the
market. a lcng-suffering public has
gradually become convinced that such
suits are generally conceived in a spirit
Of revenge or avarice. There may be
exceptional cases, but where the heart
is really wounded, where actual injury
results from fickleness, the disappointed
party is apt to feel her wrong too
keenly, to suffer too severely, to air
her feelings in public tribunal. She
is not likely to estimate her wrong in
dollars and cents.
The financial consideration is becom-
ing more prominent in matrimonial
ventures as civilization advances.
Bachelors are not Arcadian SWANS in
these latter days, nor are maidens
Phyllises susceptible only to the ar
rows of the god Of love.
It may be that this Montana maid
has gone to court to weep like the
stricken deer; to expose the perfidy of
man and bare her fractured heart to a
court room full OF smiling lawyers and
leering spectators in the interest of
her sex; but if her affections Ne4e y.,..-
able OF receiving the wound she con-
plains of, they would be incapable of
passing through the ordeal which lies
Between her and a verdict.
The sum demanded indicates that
sentimental damages are claimed, for
actual damages would only include the
outlay for fuel, lights and house rent
expended for the young mans enter
tainment, and the money spent for
roses. rouge and ribbons to please his
enappreciative eye. And still. he might
be allowed to plead counter claim for
the ice cream, candy and carriage OK
pense TO which he was subjected by
reason of the courtship. Such damages
and such set-ofrs can be measured in
this mercexary age. But the heart can
not be reckoned so.
Men and women are believed TO be
able TO take care of themselves better
than they are to take care Of each other.
anyhow. Broken hearts are in the habit
Of recuperating in the exhilarating ex-
excise and excitement of fresh exoeri-
ment. AS Coleridge sagely observed:
Love is a local anguish. I am now
so miles distant, and am not hale so
miserable
A little time and a little distance
might do the fair lady Of Boulder $780,
0o0 worth of good, and cause her to see
that, in losing a faithless man, she lost
nothing that cannot be easily replaced.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-11-13
SOME GOOD, SHORT STORIES /.
As Viewed BY a Scot.
Gondon Sporting Times.)


The other evening. seated in the En-
pire Music hall, in Glasgow, noticed
Piper F'indlater was Kissed by some of
the audience. Being a visitor from the
other side of the Atlantic seeking Tor
information, 1 turned to my next neigh
Dor, a remarkably stolid-looking specl-
men Of the genus Scot, and said to
him:
why do they hiss him?"
He replied. Because they do not
want him.
But" said I. "he is hero. is he
not?"
what did he ever do?' was the re-
joinder.
Why" I exclaimed, 'he was shot
through both legs and then sat down.
'.Couldna' help it," he answered.
But" [ urged, in extenuation of the
hero idea, 'he went on playing the
pipes.
1 stared in blank establishment at this
view of the whole affair, when my
friend, observing my look, said:
TIL just tell We. The man did moth
ing unusual. Take the first ten High
land pipers you meet with; start them
playing; shoot them through both
legs: down they'll sit and keep on
playing"
Thus did a practical Scot SILVER in
few words the glamour surrounding
the hero of Dargai. Hitherto we on the
other side had thought it grand to
think of a man shot through the legs
sitting down and keeping up the tune.
[ now see--to the Scotch mind, at any
rate-it was but natural sequence of
events. But the kissing was caused by
the dislike Of a hero appearing upon
the stage.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-11-13
THE SPORTS OF AUTUMN.

Interest in football and other au-
tumn recreations is being awakened ali
over the sporting world. In Utah foot
ball is the chief attraction at this sea-
son Of the year, and several very good
games have already been played be-
tween local teams.
Professionalism dragged the game
into disreDute two or three years ago;
in-feeling resulted, accidents occurred,
the dangers We're magnified and
number of pulpit criticisms and press
sneers tended to make it unpopular.
But football has survived, and is at
tracing more attention this fall than
ever before.
The more intelligent observers and
readers are becoming convinced that it
is a good, wholesome, active sport,
rough, perhaps, but not nearly so fatal
after all as indoor games prove to be
in the long run.
Football develops muscle, lungs,
pluck and courage 1t also produces a
heavy growth of hair, if the evidence
of cartoonists is admissible.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-11-13

Reed. He proposed they go into part
nership in the Hoffman. John W.
Mackay furnished $4,000 to Stokes to-
effect the partnership. Stokes proposed
to make the hosiery the most talked-Of
in the world. The famous painting, the
"Satyr of Nymphs'' of Bouguereau,
was installed as an attraction, and the
newspapers were full of the other Won
derful things to be done.
But Reed was not satisfied with his
young partners behavior; disagree
ments arose. and after efforts to COM
promise had failed Reed found himself
out OF the hotel he had established and
suing his young partner for an ac-
counting.
And again Stokes was in trouble, for
Mr.. Mackay represented certain tele-
graph stocks entrusted to Stokes man
agement had been hypothecated. Suits
and counter suits growing Out of this
dragged along until Stokes was finally
victor and secured finally in a settle
ment something like $780, 600.
Ed Stokes was always getting some
thing through court decisions, and
almost always from men who had been
his friends There was nothing which
he had the least shade of a claim to he
was not reaching out for. If what was
coming to him wouldn't come he went
dIIGT L he WAS Is Jealous III attempt
ing to collect $2,50G from Hermann, the
magician, as the 500, 600 from Mackay.
II was charged in court that he took
the tips which had been given the men
who took charge of the horses driven
I'D to the hotel. Ed Stokes in one of
his cuarrels with his cousin, w. Il. D.
Stokes. said the latter was money
crazy" and there are those who would
retort on the author Of the eDithet in
kind. One man beat r. S. Stokes in a
scheme. He was James Addison Per-
alto-Reavis of colossal land grant fame.
Mr.. Stokes was so cdagrined over it
he would never admit how much he
invested.
The cordial relations existing be-
tween w. E. D. Stokes and E S. Stokes
{ were illustrated when the former asked
for a receivershiD for the Hoffman
house in 1892. In his complaint w. E.
D. Stokes charged E. S. with many
things, to which z. S. replied that
every statement made by w. Z. d. was
an infamous lie and w. q. D. was a
blackguard.
One by one Stokes friends have
dropped from him, all claiming he has
got the best of them financially by
means which might be technically legal,
but officially wrong. Stokes has plenty.
He is a financially successful man. But
in old age without friends, with
gray hairs. without veneratiOn. posi-
ton without esteem. what a satire is
wealth.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-11-13
Vulnerable Only to Rattlers.

Mr.. Beaver, an old gentleman, indie
pendent, stalwart, heroic, reared sew
eral sons, who, by both practice and
inheritance, were very wicked, made
no pretense to religion and had no re-
gard for morality, says the Charleston
Courier.
On one occasion John one of the
sons, was bitten by rattlesnake, but,
being accompanied. by several of his
brothers, was carried home to his faith
er Immediately. The old gentleman
became alarmed, and, thinking his son
in all probability would soon be dead,
sent hastily for the parson, who, being
affected even more with surprise than
qualification, bent every energy to COM
ply with the call.
Being met on his arrival by Mr.
Beaver, the father. of the family, who,
after explaining. the misfortune of his
son, exhorted him to pray for the af
hicted one Immediately. The parson
lost no time, and soon the entire fam
lily were bent in prayer. After pray
ing long, fervently, and earnestly for
the speedy recovery of John, the par
son concluded somewhat in this wise:
Now, Lord, we thank thee for rattle
snakes, and especially for the rattle
snake that bit this man Beaver; and
now, Lord, do be pleased to send an
other great old rattlesnake to bite old
man Beaver, for nothing but rattle
snakes will ever turn the Beavers"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-11-13
to meet the Notwithstanding Span

to meet the gauntlet throwing Span
iards last summer.
For many years the due1lo has been
looked upon as a French institution,
barring always the butchering depart
ment of German universities. There is
no other way for the mercurial French
man to relieve his feelings or maintain
his word than by crossing swords with
an occasional adversary.
The killing of Hamilton by Burr at
the beginning of our national career
did more than anything else, perhaps,
to bring duelling into disrepute in this
country. 1t has never been encouraged
IN the American army. General jack
son was the only soldier Of prominence
in this republic ever drawn into an
affair of the kind. Two very prominent
naval officers. however, have been duel
lists-Barron and Decatur.
And the fact that Decatur, after rem
dering excellent service to his coun-
try, was killed in the system that rob-
bed the nation of the brilliant services
of Hamilton, helped crystalize the SEN
timent of the American people against
the practice of duelling.
Among the American statesmen who
have staked their lives upon their
honor, Clay, Randolph, Broderick and
De Witt Clinton are conspicuous.
But duelling never obtained a foot
hold in the United States to begin with
and every effort to establish the code
resulted in a manner to bring it into
disrepute. Every time a good man
was killed the frown deepened on the
face of public disapproval In Europe
the duello has maintained a sort of
precarious existence owing, possibly, to
the feeling that no difference who was
killed the people were glad to be rid of
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-11-13
CALLING UPON THE CHURCHES

The Republican organ is using its an
tiquated fail on the old straw and try
ing to work up congressional contest.
It has just emerged from one contest
second best, without seeming to realize
when it has had enough.
It says that Warren Foster, who re-
ceived one thirtieth of the total vote
cast. is unwilling that the man chosen
by the people of Utah to represent
them in congress shall do so.
The organ is calling upon "the
churches to consider and to take such
action upon as they may deem best"
This is an appeal for church influ-
ence" which would sound hypocritical
were it not made in the interest of one
who has as little in common with one
church as he has with another. and
who openly declares that he takes no
stock in any. 1t is all right for Warren
Foste: to go ahead and make his con-
test if he so desires; it is but natural
Tor the organ to help him make it,;
but for the churches to follow his lead
ershiD-it gives to the whole business
the color of absurdity.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-11-13
Not Worrying About the Money.
calhoun Times.)


An old negro man walked into the
store of Harlan & Harlan on election
day and asked for landslide for a
turning pillow.
c. c. Harlan gave him what he
wanted. The old man took out some
small change, but not enough to pay
the bill, and, handing the money to
Mr.. Harlan, said:
Boss, I'll just gin yer dis an let de
trick stay here for awhile, till L kin go
out an git up the yuther money"
Can you get the money in town?''
asked Mr.. Harlan.
"Ch, yessuh."
Does anybody here owe you any
thing?"
NO, sub; not blessed cent
You are going to borrow the money,
then, are you?''
NO, sub; don't borry nuthin'."
How do you expect to get the money,
then?"
"Oh, I isn't voted yit."
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-11-13

The news of the defeat of Congress-
man Charles A. .rowne in the Sixth
Minnesota district will cast a gloom
over bimetallists everywhere. But
there is only one place for advocates
of free coinage in a fight that has to
be repeated every campaign, and that
is in the national organization that is
pledged to independent bimetallism.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-11-13

The administration was determined
to win Wyoming. The Republican
state convention declared emphatically
for the single gold standard and Hanna
sent a carload of government officials
to the state to stump and otherwise
work it. The majority of over a thou
sand for the goldbug ticket shows that
all the while these federal officials were
in Wyoming their salaries went on
the people paid them.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-11-13
Vow.

7 NJ6lIUIL JUuIIIttIJ
In her heart love and duty strove for
mastery, and duty won.
mo man shall wed me- she exclaimed,
with suffused eyes and quivering lips.
who does not promise me that if he is
ever president of the United States he
will use his influence to have battleships
christened with waterl'
Such was the ardor of his passion, that
Algeron hesitated not a moment.
Il promise he cried and fell upon his
knees
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-11-13

General Miles has evidently made his
peace with the war department. He
proposed three cheers for General
Shafter'' at the New York banquet
given in his own honor. This ought to
please "Pecos Bill" and satisfy Secre-
tary Alger.