The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-09-22
MY ENGAGEMENTS
By LILLIAN CUTLER COUCH.

o~>S>>>>
AM convinced in my own mind that
it is quite the right thing for a
woman to be really very angry some
times. I don't mean raging, violent
sort of anger that makes one untidy
and flushed, but superior, discreet
anger through which one can smile
and talk and cause no damage to the
arrangement of ones back hair.
I myself have been very angry fol
about two hours now, and the relief
and satisfaction which I feel are in.
.describable. Two hours ago the draw.
ing-room door opened to admit my
cousin George, and, although I had
been in a most placid and genial frame
of mind one moment before, all the
wrath which had been battened down
for the past IL months blazed up in.
side me before Jane had finished an
nouncing him-and I smiled upon him
1t was generally understood among
my friends and acquaintance and re.
lations that suffered a secret and I'M
ceasing pang of hopeless love after
my Cousin George changed his mind
and delicately refused the honor OF
my hand, and perhaps the only ray OF
comfort which slanted my way came
from the inner knowledge, which !
might hug to myself, that it wasn't
true, that I had not spark of hope
less X e in me-that the only strong
feeling had in the matter, and nat
urally enough, too, was the one which
found expression in the words tut
tered quite privately to myself: GAIL
right, Cousin George, you just wait a
bit!' And think I didn't look quite
as pretty as usual as I murmured
them.
Of course, if I had been offered to
Cousin George, and he had not wished
to possess me, that would have been
another matter, and I should have
been the last to- blame him; but the
way in which he philandered round
and pestered me when he came home
from Heidelberg, nearly four years
ago, became more than joke, it be-
came absolutely absorbing. I hadn't
even time to mend my frocks, for I
didn't like to bring a whole shabby
skirt into the drawing-room, to bind
the bottom of it while he sat and
looked at me; so I used to do silly
small things, such as darning three
cornered rents in my pocket handker-
chiefs, where I had hitched them on
to the bushes, and such like-things
l should never have dreamed of do
ing at all if he had not been there.
He proposed to me five times, which
l thought pity each time he did it,
and his proposals used to make me
very hot and exhausted. They were
all made in June, and generally in the
sun cousin George never had much
idea of the fitness of things), and I so
soon came to the end of all 1 had to
say that 1 was at disadvantage, and
quite as uncomfortable, sitting there
and saying nothing; whereas Cousin
George seemed to be able to prattle
on forever.
don't know why I did it, but the
fifth time Cousin George grew white
about the lips and finished up, as
usual, by saying "Will you marry me
FLOP" 1 said: ooh, we'll, don't mind
If 1 do" And really, I didn't mind,
for l had known Cousin George fo1
years and years, and was very fond
of him, and l felt that, at any rate
it would put an end to his proposals;
and Aunt Theresa said that July was
going to be very hot.
Well, anyhow, whether it was right
or wrong, or stupid or sensible, I said
straight out: II don't mind if Ido:'
and then, of course, we were engaged
l really did not mind it at all, for
knew Cousin George so we'll, and he
knew me; and there was no bother
about rearranging ones ideas and hab
its. as some girls have to just to please
the man they're going to marry.
used to look at him sometimes (whe1
he didn't happen to be looking at me,
and say to myself: ''Well, to thinl
that that's the man I'm going te
marry!'-for it really did seem odd
but l wasn't at all upset about it, ant
after awhile I decided that it wa.
really most comfortable arrange
ment, and that it was probably al
nonsense that "height of Bliss ant
Overwhelming happiness" sort Of
stuff that some persons talk and write
about.
I was very matter of fact at first
but when poor George chafed at tina
] did my best to play up to my part
l never could imagine why person.
couldn't go on just as usual. instead O
sinking off for tete-a-tetes, Just Xix,
silly children telling secrets; bu
George seemed to like it, and by de
grees got on .capitally. I really triet
hard to do as other engaged girls did
I don't mean to say that had to try
hard because it was irksome to me
really did not object to it, only
was apt to forget sometimes. How
ever, in less than month broke my
self of tugging away from him an,
looking bothered or resentful when b,
kissed me-; and when we had had
tiff was always ready to be friend
again. In those days, when we ha,
had tiff and had grown tired d
4 sparring, George always used to say
*Lst us go down the river to the Il