The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1898-09-25

as far as possible to disarm criticism l
wish to say that the following remarks are
not intended to apply to the United States
at large, of which | know little. but only to
the southern town where / spent two or
three years.
OF course it is, and always will be. a
moot question whether friendship between
the sexes is ever more than temporary
Illusion, and whether, as the old song says,
one at least of the parties does not in
Variably come but for friendship and take
away, love" But to the English mind it
ton that such a friendship is more within
the bounds of possibility when one or both
of the parties is deferred from going farther,
not only by honor but by the sense of pre-
vious acquisition, a repletion of soul, so to
speak, that might presumably quench the
thirst for conquest This is not the opinion
of Americans. For a man to indulge in any
real intimacy with a married woman, wheth-
er it take the form of rides, correspondence,
or even frequent SO clock teas at her own
home. is to expose himself and her first to
surprised comment and then to ill-natured
gossip. The average American man, indeed,
takes this so much for granted that he can
not understand why his wife should want
anything more 1t might perhaps be in
ferred from this that the american wife
enjoyed an unusual portion of her husbands
society, and that other men were excluded
simply on the principle of ''two's company
If it were so, she would doubtless be fit
object of envy, or at least would have
right TO complain; but, as matter of fact
the women of l. see far less of their
husbands than the average Englishwoman.
Business hours longer. and on the re-
naming hours the clubs are far more apt
to encroach: mems dinners are more COM
mon; and finally, in the summer almost
every couple is forciby separated by the
heat for three or four months. Companion
ship in outdoor amusements is rare, though
latterly on the increase.
1t is not merely that marriage by tradi-
ton nee essity diverts woman from her
old interests TO q greater degree in l.
than in London: there is far more than this
Men in England do not. as rule. want to
marry; in fact, recent writer has told
US that they view the coming on of love
with horror: yet a married woman is ipso
facto more desirable as a companion in their
eyes, and it has become a commonplace of
modern English literature that girls are
no good" that nobody cares to talk TO
| girls" Men in America regard marriage as
| goal and prolonged bachelorhood as a
disgrace; yet their friends wife seems to
] them either nuisance or a negligible guam
, tity Possibly this is not really an incon-
Sistency, but points to the fact that to every
man an unmarried girl is a possibility, to
| the American delightful. to the Englishman
terrifying. So to the Englishman a married
woman is haven of refugee; to the Amer
lean she is as salt that has lost its SAVIOR.
However transcendent may be the priv
| ileges of the American girl. the American
wife has in comparison with the English
wife a less free position. a less full social
| life i'm short as she herself would say, far
! less of a 'lovey time" IL the English girl
1 wish which of late years she mas steadily
been carrying into effect. she ought in fair
| ness to make her imitation thorough. She
| must not expect. in nursery pariance. to eat
| her cake and have IL too, but must be con-
tent TO sink gracefully into the background
/ as soon as the wedding march IS over.
n~~~un.-.-us.--..s~..----