The Red Cloud chief., 1898-02-18
AN IRlSHMAN'S WIT.
SAVED THE DAY FOR HIMSELF
AND HIS LAWYER.
Won Ills uonor's Admiration The
Audacity of the Gay. Roiiic king, lm-
pcrturbabic patsy" Was TOO Much
for the Court Ia Withstand.

for the Court To Withstand.
My first case came at Florence, Ala,
a few months after | was licensed.
writes Attorney u. VI. Jackson IN the
Memphis Commercial Appeal. The
sheriff there. Capt. ". I. White, nov
dead, Il gallant confederate soldier ana
one of natures nOblcmcn. met me on
the street and told me there was a man
confined in the county Jail who wished
To see me. was then - years Ola,
but would readily have passed for II.
The clients name was Patrick Done
van. but he was commonly called
Patsy" Donovan. Going to the jail |
found Il man from 30 to 80 years old,
an intelligent. niCc-lOUNing, dcvtl-rlaN-
care lrishman. When entered he
greeted me with Good evening. miss.
Pretending not 20 have heard him adj
dress me as miss and assuming much
dignity ! told him was the lawyer
whom the sheriff had promised TO send
him. For answer he exclaimed: "WclI,
III be ID" and burst out laughing
laughing uprcariously. was 'rri-
tatod to II degree by this reception.
Il beg your pardon. Judge; it's n so.
fou do look pretty young. but Tom
the shcrim says you arc Il daisy. Get
me out OF here and my FOLKS, who'vo
got plenty, will pay you we'll for your
trouble" He told ne his story. He
was Il skilled mechanic from Kcokuk.
Iowa, and had been employed Dy the
; y,ynr, y,,,,, Ia, ,.,,,ti,, d, I,,l an
the MuSscl Shoals canal. near Florence.
He had shot the physician in charge OF
those works. This physician was II
brother Of the United States engineer
In control Of the canal construction.
and II was evident that the prosecu-
ton would he bitter, sparing no pains
or expense To secure "A conviction, IN
failing IA long pcnitcntiary sentence.
The doctor and my client were both
men OF reckless courage and ovcrDcar-
Ing temper. both sometimes looked on
the wine when II was rcd, and both. |
inferred. were striving for the favor
OF the same woman. A clash between
them soon came. They had Il savagc
quarrel AT their boarding house at din
ner. The doctor being armed and my
client unarmcd the latter had to sub
NIT TO unlimited abuse and would have
been shot but for the interference Of
several men who were present. Soon
after nightfall of the same day my
client went to the Doctors Office and
sleeping Don about Il mile distant and
in a secluded place. and. knocking at
the door, was hidden by the doctor to
ONE in. Entering he found the doe
tor putting on a shirt and thus for the
moment disabled and, rcmarking,
you had the drop on me this morn
Ing. but I'VE got /, On you now" fred
striking the doctor In the neck and in
Nicting a dangerous but not fatal
wound. The case q came on for
trial. While the defendants version
OF the occurrence as he had given II "a
mi was very different from the one in
the foregoing, yet II was so improbable
in itself and 80 inconsistent with tho
attendant circumstance that it looked
like q sentence of ten years was in
evitable IL the case was then tried
To gain a postponement an objection
was i~nterposed TO the competency OF
the court on the ground that he was
related by affinity to the prosecutor
This failed. Next an earnest effor,
was made for Il continuance. Thu
state fought this aggrcssively, thu
giving warning OF what was TO come
and It, too, failed. In sheer despcra.
ton | then whispered to my client
Your real name Is Patrick, not Pat.
-..s I..s. i. ~ fTl. g.l,,. .-..-
him patsy Donovan.) Then, NOV
Ing to quash the indictment for tn,
misnomer, ! wrote out the defendants
AFFIDAVIT In support. The affidavit
stated that the defendants name was
Patrick, and that he was commonly
known and called by this name, and
not by the name OF Patsy" Donovan
He took the affidavit and read OF
:: seemed to read II carefully, and, coins
4 to the clerks desk, swore to 1t ant
signed it-"Patsy" Donovan. This. OF
q course was the way he usually signct
|, his name. hut he never reflected tina
TO sign 1t Patsy" this time was Il
q afford the strongest evidence Of tn,
4 falsity OF the affidavit. Arguing tn,
n case without looking at the affidavit
I I didn't see how he had signed It: bu'
the states attorney had noticed thu
signature. and In his reply called tn,
o courts attention TO it. This disclosur,
raised a storm OF laughter and ieer
q ing In the courtroom. ! was confound
a ed and at the end OF my resources
Not so with PATSY" Realizing hi!
v peril, that the slip was his own. ant
that he alone could retrieve It, h,
), spoke out, not a whit abaghed: 90
- signed It Patsy out Of pure respect 70,
your honor. It's not for me to Civ,
the lie to your honor's court papers
Il Your honor's court papers say In
Patsy and I'll sign 1t Patsy unit
!, your honor gives me leave TO writ,
my W true name"
7, The court sustained the motion from