Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1898-02-26
GROWING A BEAR

YES" sighed the young man who, hav.
ing a couple of weeks ago decided to raise
beard has since been enduring with more
or less fortitude the odium and contunely
heaped upon him by his friends, to say
nothing OF the ostracism that he has bean
compelled to submit to at the hands Of his
wife and family. IT am fully aware that
In undertaking this grave step IN a mans
career I have for the time being put my
self outside the pale Of civilized society, de-
prived myself of the right to expect human
sympathy and sadly violated the artistic
sensibiiitIes Of those who have my best in
terests at heart. Do not, beg of you, re-
gard me as a man Of an entirely callous ma
ture. Believe me- feel my position Keen
ly. 1t aflicts me more than have words
to express, for I value the good will and
klndly feeling OF my friends most highly,
and l have always endeavored to deserve
at least the esteem, If not the affection, of
my family. l shall ask you to believe that
would do anything to hold intact the
good-natured, tolerant and helpful DISPOSE
ton with which 1 have been regarded-or
was regarded, 1 should say-in this COM
munity. insert the past tense, for 1 fear
that since began to act on my determine
tlon to permit the hair on my face to glow,
l have gone far toward sacrificing the gen.
erous. well-wishing spirit with which 1
have bean looked upon for many years, as
man and boy, in this town.
Perhaps 1 might, with the mastering of
all the latent self-represson with which l
may have been endowed, force myself to
complalsantly and at least with exterior.
patience endure the aSkance looks and the
averted gaze of my friends. the mournful,
unhappy-eyed regard of my wife while L
am around the house and the frankly-ex-
hlplted suspicion, not to say fear, with
winch my young children greet my every
appearance at home. Loathsome and des-
picable as 1 have been made to feel that
l look IN the eyes of everybody who for
the past two weeks has been compelled to
pear the temporary or prOtracted sight of
me, either in the course of business or
social life, yet 1 cannot bring myself to
feel that l have quite deserved the grisly
manifestations of an alleged sense of hui
NOR that my friends and acquaintances
nave afflicted me with. l cannot, in
deed. l shall ask you to give me your I'M
biased Judgment as to whether you per-
c et anything prodigiously funny. any
thing gargantuanly humorous anything
sde-spilttingly comical, anything shriek-
insy laughable. anything uproariously or
hllariously cachinnatory in observations
such as these, for instance:
Hey, there, whenre you going to get
mugged for the rogues gallery?
Say, II you don't look like man that'd
walk nine miles through snow knee-deep
to bite his mother, I'll go to -!
All, there, my spinach!
Get next to TIL loose chewfn'p
'Ho, there, Old Hoss Hoey!
When are you going to push it In or
Pipe off his Pefferlets!
he? ~ N0'-
Dead ringer, you are, for a second
story worker and all-around crook I saw
captured once
Say, here's dime; go get shave
ana give us show for our white alley
How often have you been run in so
far? ' -'' 'o
Good makeup for an F-street pan-
handler, all right, all right
SO you are going to the Klondike this
spring, hey?
Say, talk about prismatic hair Jinged
II some of 1t amt green!'
When die start that Dick Croker
II ake-up?'
Delay, there, shipmate. Why ain't you
in unif orm?
Hey, dye need any help"
Well yes, it's good in spots-blooming
spotty, thought
Good boy, j. Ham. Lewisv
Must have made a VOW eh?'
Amt you afraid of losing your job?'
MuzZle him.
Say. does it hurt much, and do you
take gas for it,?
Overwhelmingly funny as all this isn't,
yet 1t Is almost as the lulling music of
aeollan harps compared with this mourn
ful, piaintve, reproachful, ever-reiterated
query from the little woman I vowed to
love and honor;
my heart?'''