The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1898-01-30
s1SnBRs srARrs a xEw IoDeE.
A Talk with sarnaparila Reilly on Wives.
widows. aud Life Insurance..

coat lapel when no greeted the Sinker Man in
the restaurant. The button bore tho letters
~. o. n. g." CHANGING at the button, Sinkors
exclaimed:
Did you joint dor Grant Army of der Re-
publicansi"
NO." replied Reilly. what makes yer AK
that question:"
Cause" said SinKers. 81 sec you got q new
button instead Of der II. A. o., which you al
why's did had before on st. Patrick's Day pa
radc already"
"well," remarked Reilly, "oi'm In a now
secret society. OF joined IL a.Saturda' night,
an it's bother nor amy other organy.zation
that were liver started for life insurance"
do dot button rosurc your nfoi" asked
Sinkcrs.
"Yis,' answered Reilly, 'thatIl insure mo
loife for three years" t
Wat 1t costs, SIGH q button7"
That depinds intoiroly on how much yor OK.
poet TO git whin ye're dead" explained Reilly.
What l expectation when l diet" said Sink
ers.
mo, hut what'll come ter yer wife, Iona,
whin ye're dcad,' answered Reilly. Now,
for example. II OF should die ter night, me old
woman wud git $500 in cold cash. That's IL I
die to. night"
"Cnd not a cent When you dio tomorrow"
said Sinkers.
Certainly" answered Reilly. 'If OF died ter
morrow she'd git tn same. But IL OF didn't
die until next year, sure, she'd git double tn
first year, or 81 900"
dot would be better vhcn you not die so
quick" said the Sinker Man. Der longer you
live der better you get der best OF der 'surance
company, vhatl"
That's it," continued Reilly. TITS q foine
ORDER
"For What should der letters meant asked
Sinkcrs. "Dot II O. r.. s. business2"
Cant yer guess iti' asked Reilly.
"Mebbe,' answered Sinkcrs. Der first is
U. for onions, und o for-for-for on, und r..
s. for right side. Dot would be Onions on Right
Side"
NO" said Reilly. "thim letters stand for
United Order av Red Shirts. Yer see, Sink
ers, whin We have our regular meetin's we all
wear red shirts. That's one av our secrets.
but don't be tellin' anybody about 1t. Then
whin we have our socials iviry member has
tn special privilege av kissin' livery other
dot should be put off der rule book" said
the Sinker Man.
"Whyf'
Why, because Why.
well, explain ycrself." said Reilly.
sinkers. !suupposition dot ! joint dot order
ing. You tink 1 would like when all der mem.
beTs kiss her, my wife, der mother from my
But we're all brothers whin We take tn
secret OATH explained Reilly.
We'll. ! you'd let not my sister kiss my
M" "You, fmj e ndf ;ren satd ss inRss;,. "but I would
not kiss your Wife"
Why ,wudn't y@eri"
had such big ears like your wife got, 1 would git
a divorce yesterday asready; In vS der first first
See here said Reilly, don't say my, wife
has a fat nose. or DIN send you home in tn
"Veli. you commenced it, explained Sink
ut was you who commenced it," retorted
NO" said sipkers, you wanted to get my
III she joined" remarked Reilly, "th. High
Bric-a- Brac I'D scoop in her face for the Curio
Collection in the Chamber av. Horrors up in
o. our wn Lodge rr rOSm. a Ms'd t Pin p q Isbe M on hsT. sSs
r Den Td.Td-vel. / would knock him's nose
In sm IA n;a; SAID sinkers. Il would in a min
sure, y9H cudn,. put a a Candle snnd;a ont %ts re- re
sinksrs., I'd advise yer ter git yer loifo in
Tn in two lodges nov; und more bowling
An is yer ne insured in tn bowling clnbsI,
, No So said sinkers, but ! got my life in der
"Eor how mnshI' asked Reilly, n.,s ,,.,
, you die. I'm in for tree years like your Red
Shirt Lodge. Der first time die get not a
. You mean the first time you die tn first
4 Dots it." continued sinkers, "und when
, der first Year What didn't / de
:. sure, that wudn,t be apn!nything" said Rel Ell
an an twice as nv Ii second g'a sure, ye'd be
. owing tn lodge money"
b die ht t deP ia dGt time sAIR n der aF slnt ssFss y yesrs vd dsn
I'm ahead oof der lodge. gnderstagdb' %,
1 saPG Is II sffEF die III, fourth time tn lodge goes
where do 1t got" ~,
. plain, too. Just as soon as you die four timef
r the sA iSfse m ayeS o Exclaimed sinkers, you don't
understood which i am explanation. Now, lis
ten. When am four years old in der lodge;
I'm only three | get only one ttousand. When
l. i die der second year, den amt in der lodge
. yet @M E fG0S 81 md dian't l GnSw sn snSR lodge took in
vh "Doy = keep pG you 81 in a dot nI long g. for ssoS gOSsr oI m sSisS
n time dot years, ;" explained sinkers.
u Then yer can't die whin yer like. as in Other
l. NO. Continued sinkers, You must walt
yet !.6 four years ford for der IF dTll m loTS yhs,,,v
d d my dues g., Tor n. not a.. a cent? IT.; ME Tifo needs dol
8 married again unless she had money. No sin
SlDle man wud take ner.
. 81 Won't allow her TO get married again" re-
to leu" i, hs yoa afyf s. yS s.s Z new sa hqi RsIiiy. "an' when
i shell be BLOWN in your life insurance money
Q you won't be able 10 leave yer coffin ter stop
o her"
The Sinker Man glanced at the ceiling and
scratched his head. Finally he said:
Tome, Reilly. We will resignation ourselves
q out Of all our lodges. ind swear off nit life In
= surance. Ven start a new lodge for ourselves
I und drink our money up for dues. Vhatf"
I'VE WILL" said Reilly, and they went next
: door to Red Jerry's, where they paid dues on the
first quarter.