The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1898-09-01

Blanco has slid off of his perch and
advises the Spaniards to bow to the
inevitable, which in the present case is
your Uncle Samuel. This is the first
instance on record where glimmer of
common sense developed in BIanco.-
Saltwater Gazette.
What will Billy Mason do now, that
the war is over? We would suggest
that Billy and Butch Weyler be locked
up in room together armed with
AIDES. Best man to clean out the room
next day.-Sherburn Advance.
An Iowa preacher engaged to marry
seventeen girls. Well, a preacher or
justice of the peace might be able to
make contract like that and carry it
out, but it would get anybody else into
trouble.-Kasson Republican.
A boy pianist named Roujitzky has
created furore in London. Why is
it that every musical genius who shoots
like meteor into the musical skies of
Europe has barb wire name ?-Den-
yer Post.
A man claims to have been visited
at night recently by the Lord, and by
the holy ghost. His neighbors should
watch him.-St. Louis Humorist.
The editor of the Muldrow Register
is not slow as phrase maker. He re-
fers to Bill Nail, the recently slain out.
law, as having been sent to the "angel
factory Smith Elevator.
Say what you please about good
books, the best book we know of is a
well-stuffed pocket book.-St. Louis
Humorist.
When clerk wants to shake off an
old flame he counts his change in her
presence. A printer sends her to the
"devil." Window Citizen.
Not single book that 1 have writ
ten has made hit
HIN; you must have some Spanish
blood in your veins" -Detrolt Free
Press.
We do not appreciate the good things
of life as we should When a person
is in sound and dreamless sleep he
fails to realize what good time he is
having-St Louis Humorist.
A French couple named De la War;
are rejoicing over their fifth pair of
twins. The Delaware peach crop may
fail annually with unbroken regularity
but the De la War; baby crop, never
Denver Post.
A Kansas editor made a mistake
and married the wrong girl. After he
found she could pull the hand press,
set three galleys of long primer day,
besides keeping the flies off his bald
head while he wrote heavy editorials
on "better drinking water" he made
up his mind that some mistakes pay
Candy News
A New York paper tells sad story
of boy who is suffering from hydro
phobia as a result of eating bologna
sausage. One of that papers field cor
respondents must have returned to his
duties in the office before having fully
shaken off the war story habit.-Den.
yer Post.
The army lives on the salt of the
land-it has everything from saltpeter
to salt pork.
Never get into an argument with
temperance orator unless you expect to
take water.-Spring Valley Sun.
Years ago a Southerner would fight
man who called him Yankee. Gail
Southern Yankee now, and the
julep factory begins to work.-Clara
City Herald.
One swallow does not make a sum-
mer, but if taken from jug it will
lead to fall-Orange (Va.) Observer.
When man wants to know how
we'll he is liked let him get into an Of
flee which carries with it responsible
ties, and then try to find an excuse for
avoiding them-Owatonna Chronicle.
It's very strange how much some
people know about others and keep
quiet about it-until the other fellow