Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1898-06-01

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Jack-A woman can't throw straight
Tom-Oh, l don't know. Did you ever
have one throw you down?-New York
Journal.
He-It makes me better man every
time kiss you, darling. She-Oh Har.
old. how good you must be now.-Bos.
ton Traveller.
Timmy-Pop. If there's a war are
you going? Pop-No. sir. Your mother
has been the man of the house for the
past year.-1ife.
Sunday School Teacher-Why is It
wrong to have two wives? Tommy
Cos no man can serve two masters
New York Journal.
Everything on earth has It's mis-.
sion" How about mosquitoes" "They
make us thing more kindly of flies."-
Pillsburg Chronicle.
Jones thinks great deal of me-
$50? l didn't know you were such
friends" Were not; l owe him mon.
ey."-- Memphis Appeal.
Little Clarence Is there really
"honor among thieves" Mr.. Callipers
No, my son; thieves are just as bad
as other people.-Puck.
He-I suppose the chainless wheel Is
fast! She- suppose so. | wonder
how long 1t will take 1t to reach the
bargain counter.-Puck.
His Idea.-"Is the water yGd get at
your boarding house pure! Egbert-
No; there seems to be a lot of milk in
it.-Yonkers Statesman.
Jack-Yes, ancestors certainly help to
give a person social prestige. TONES
peclally when they are wealthy and
one lives with them.-Life.
Quick Work.-.Jones-I married my
wife month after she accepted me-"
Brown-And married mine three days
after she refused me.-Puck.
From Two Points of View.-Minnie
tadmiring her new ring)-Isn't 1t a dear
little thing? Jack (whO bought t)-ln-
deed 1t is.-Jewelers' Weekly.
Mrs. Ferry-Are your new neighbors
well-to-do? Mrs. Terry-I think they
are. The children have such awful
manners.-Clnclnnat Enquirer.
81 wish to establish fine private Ii.
brary. What book Is the best to start
on?' II would advise pocketbook. -
Philadelphia Evening Bulletin.
Watts-Newspaper English is getting
worse every day. Potts-Why not?
The offices are filing up with college
MISUNDERSTANDING Journal.
Charles Bragg-Yes, Miss Brightly, It
costs me ten thousand a year to live.
Miss Brightly-Oh, Mr.. Bragg, do you
think it's worth it?-Boston Traveller
Shortleigh-My Uncle Frank Is yer-
table xlondlke. Longleigh-Why,
hows that? Shortleigh-Plenty Of
wealth, but cold and distant.-ChicagO
News.
He Wouldn't -Friend-Wouldn't
you like to have me sit here and shoot
at the poets when they come In? Editor
No. You are too poor a shOt.-Har-
lem Life.
She (reading)-Mice are fond Of mu-
sic and will get as close to 1t as they
can. He-Just cut that out and III
send 1t to the girl In the next flat.-YOn-
kers Statesman.
Seems to Cover It.-Hojack-Glvem me
/ paraphrase of "All is fair in love and
war" Tomdik-The tactics permissible
In courtship are equally allowable af-
ter marriage.-Puck.
She-Your face is too near to mine
He-It's two inches away; and that's
as bad as thousand miles. She Cpout-
ingly)-Well, 1t wouldn't be for some
men.-Harlem Life.
Brlggs-What did she say when she
rejected you? Griggs-She said It
wasn't necessarily due to lack Of merit,
but ON account of the great pressure OF
other material.-Life.
Jake Fellows-I have great notion
to kiss you. Miss Sweetlips (glancins
In the mirror)-Well, sir, to be frank
with you, l couldn't blame you MUCH
New York Evening World.
Aunt Marla-Why, Johnny, what IN
the world are you thinking about!
Johnny-Only thinking up things to say
when grow up that | used to do when
was a boy.-Boston Transcript.
Mrs. Higgins-What wretched taste
that Mrs. Wilkes has. Mr.. Higgins
Yes, | met her down stairs this after
noon and she was wearing that ugly
old $25 hat you thought you wanted
Chicago News.
I'VE English" said the intelligent
foreigner, do not run for office; we
stand for It," and here said the
bright American, ''the man runs for OF
fee If the people will stand for II. -
indianapolis Journal.
Adelbert-I cawn't say that I'm fee''
ing nachuwal this eve; I've got q
beastly cold in my head, don tyerknow.
Geraldine-Neyer mind, Addy. DON
grumble. Even II 1t Is only cold, is
observation-disclosures Dispatch.
lsyIrl,nA i. l,aa,tie,,I .,n,t man OF III