Hot Springs weekly star. (Hot Springs, S.D.) 1892-1917, 1898-03-18


Younger sister (sentimentally)-"They
say love is blind" Elder sister-"And
dumb, too, l thlnk."-Bazar.
81 declare Mrs. squildig is rs pretty
as q picture" remarked Mr.. M'Swilli-
gen. mo wonder," replied his wife;
''she is hand-painted."
II heard that the crowd hooted you
when you appeared ut the Pedlington
Theater Royal" "False, me boy, false"
replied the eminent tragedian. "All
false. There was no crowd."-House-
he /. Words.
His Blunder-"Ah, I see I have con-
veyed IL wrong impression!" said the
young man who had mistakenly kissed
the young woman's maiden aunt in the
darkened hallway us he came in.-Chi-
cago Tribune.
No OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES do the
Highminds reside? They II IL Of
the old families of this city. l believe.
Mrs. Forundred-They used to be, but
MI. Highmind failed last year.-New
York Weekly.
He-"What is called society has a
good many high-handed ways that !
don't like" She-"Goodness gracious,
weren't you aware that the elevated.
handshake had gone clear out Of style?"
Indianapolis Journal.
zone big trouble bout runnin' dis
here world" said Uncle Eben, sis dat
it's de man who honesty realizes de
full Importance OBJ a responsibility dat
is mos likely to be a little shy OBJ &C.
ceptin' it."-Washington Star.
"Mr. Snowman" said an inquiring in.
dividual at the menagerie, lean the
leopard change his spots?" Eyes, sir"
replied the individual who stirs up the
wild beasts; "when he is tired Of one
spot he goes to another."-Tit-Bits.
Tommy lat the dinner table)-"Mr.
johnson, are you blind?" Mr.. johnson
mo, my boy. Why do you ask?"
Tommy-"Why, nothin', only sister
said you'd get your eyes opened If you
married that Grinder girl."-Tit-Bits.
Ogden-'I should think you would
want to get rid Of that dog Of yours.
They say he howls in a most agonizing
manner at night" Sykes-"Nothing
against the dog in that, is there?' /
amt home nights. Boston Transcript.
First arctic Explorer-"I have al.
ways considered Columbus a some.
what over estimated man." Second
Arctic Explorer-"Whyy" First Arctic
Exphrer-"He discovered America the
first time he went to look for it,
Puck. o.
Usher-"Complaint is being made aa
to that bonnet in the third box" Man.
! agert"What's the matter with it?'
Usher-"Several Indies on the opposite
| side Of the house claim it is so swell
they can't see the stage."-Chicago
Chronicle.
Success in Argument-"I understand
she is very successful in argument
"Well, I should say so. Why, at our
debating club last week, she was still
talking when every n Of those oppos.
ing her was completely tired out."-
Chicago Post.
At Variance.-Precociou Juvenile
mamma, 1t isn't good grammar to say
after L. is it," His Mother-"No,
George" Precious Juvenile-"Well,
the letter j comes after I. Which is
wrong, the grammar or the alphabet?'
Chicago Tribune.
"Why do you think old Gotrocks is
as rich as he claims to be?" Because
l saw him eating a 2O-cent lunch yes
terday and he didn't try to hide the
walters check. Only a mar whose pc.
sition is impregnable could afford to
take such n chance as that."-New Or.
leans Times-DemOcrat.
Mrs. GreenA"What bad-behaved chill.
dren those are of the Briggs! 1t was
l. %disgraceful the way they fought ovei
the last piece of cake at the table last
evening"" Mrs. Browne-'"That's queer.
Ny children never begin quarreling till
the last piece is gone."-Boston Tran.
script.
NO." said the rich old bachelor, 81
never could find time to marry
"Well," replied the young woman with
the sharp tongue, II am not surprised
to hear you say SO. 1t certainly would
have taken a good while to persuade
any girl to have you."-New Orleans
Times emocrat.
"Do you believe that it's always the
unexpected that happensT inquired
Miss Cayenne. II wouldn't venture to
express myself on that subject" re.
Piled Willie Washington. "Why not?'
because I am too polite to contradict
the girls who invariably say, this is sc
sudden! "-Washington Star.
Great 4Picture-buyer Ito hostess)-
"What do you think Of IN artist who
painted cobwebs on the ceiling 70 truth.
fully that the servant wore. herself into
an attack of nervous .p~restrataton, try.
ing to sweep tltem DOWN.. Hostess "a
woman 81 e:xbefieleetS sThess," may
have been such an artist, but there
never was such a servant."ATtBits
"rhis watch" began the man.. Eyes
Interrupted the matchmaker, selling Il
and rapidly opening 1t. II see; it wants
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