The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1898-12-04
MATRTMONY. AND
=. THE STICKS.
Aromatic Drama of
s. Real Life.
MIR. FEWcRER. P0PiKLAW
MR.. ADVISES STRAIGHT
~ ~.47-0 = ~ u MI N I d
N,.2.-s---.--->.------..--
pramatis Persona

= i
i You knew, my niece Nellie is going to be mar.
ried. and. ...+ = r. <-..
E.. STRAIGHT: That's cause for gladness-not
FOR sadness. j know. the young man Will make
.:her' a good husband; he is as nice any parent
J. can wish for as a: son-in-law.
: .POPINLAN: Tnt-tut il isn't that The muss
/, ami in: is that I have promised TO furnish
. their. home. want to de- it in style, and
haven't money to throw away.
+: STRAIGHT: 1 see" You've been round to the
3 furniture stores and got scared.
+: 'P9PTNLAW; You've hit it. I'm all mixed
;. up: and ratified" as they call it and more
Undecided. than ever. ..-." :-..' '.
+.:STRAIGHT: Where did you go?-
+POPINLAAy:. l was advised TO: go to the
High Price Furniture Company as the only re-
liable house in the city: -. e.
STRAIGHT: What did, you find there?
mighty slick. salesman to sell it, but before he
had time TO snap an order in his book made
STRAIGHT: And you did 50?
POPINLAW: Just trotted right down to the
Cheap John Furniture Company.
STRAIGHT: And did you really find the
POPINLAW: Not at ALL The only cheap
things were the appearance of the place and
the talk of the salesman about the things being
almost given away. But he couIdn ara" 'nat
STRAIGHT: Where did you go next?
TOPINIiAW: 1 thought I'd try the Pay-as-
y please concern, and try I did. but. like
Il man in the song who went to the Bowery,
.sTRAiGHT: / heard they give big discounts.
PoPINLow: So they do; but they have pre-
sTRAIGHIiT: Price higher than anywhere?
POPINLAW; Six stories and a chimney
STRAIGHT: You are joker Going any
P POP OF course. have promised my
niece to buy the sticks.
STRAIGHT: Where are you going?
POPINLAW: I was thinking of going TO the
Universal Panklibanon Company. But won l.
Don't like the place. at least not for furniture
and carpets. II the stuff shown in the WINDOW
is a sample OF the goods they carry; I don
STRAIGHT: Go to Pattosien's.
POPINLAW: Go to where?
-POPINLAw: Spell it.
STRAIGHT: P-A-T-T-O-S-I-E-N.
POPINLAW:- That's not commonplace.
very-day name. I should. expect something
ut of the ordnar- from him. in spite OF
ihallespeare-s question: What's in a name?
STRAIGHT: You are right in your expecta-
.ons. You will find him and his business
methods away up above the commonplace aver
zzffsocPINLAw. Where his place?
ST:F:kIGHT: IT'S that great two-acre store
.corlier. Of. sixteenth and Mission.
I .PORINLAW:. What! Away out in the Mis-
sion. You don't say sol
STRAIGHT: But l do say So
POPINLAW: Now Straight, TO be frank,
have heard OF the place several times and seen
their advertisements. Do you really advise me
TO 20 out there to buy the furniture and carpets
for my niece? Do they really carry a stock
good. enough and big so that l can make my
selection there? What kind of a store is it?
STRAIGHT: Hold ont Wait d moment.
Don't ask many questions all at once. you
know I for years in the house-furnishing
business myself and know what am talking
I1out. The Pattosien Company carries one OF
Inc finest, cleanest and best selected stocks or
furniture carpets and curtains in the city, in
the county. or in the State. or west Of the
Rocky mountains. They have bedroom suites
in oak, mahogany or walnut up to $500, and
POPINLAw: That's more than want to
STRAIGHT: Don't Interrupt sol and bed
room suites down TO $40 and. indeed, SIS. and
good and substantial at that Parlor sets of
their own make from $25 up lowell as high
PoPNLAw: Their own: make. did hear
STRAIGHT: That's what said-their own
make. Dining-roOm furniture galorei All the
newest goods, for you know the store is only a
year old, and they can't pass any old stick
ers' of on you for a simple reason-they
POPINLAW: How is the store for carpets ?
STRAIGHT: Why, the. title OF the firm is the
Pattosieh Carpet Company. Everybody knows
the great floor in the two-acre store
is headquarters show room for carpets and
Nnoleums but they also take a great pride in
their curtains and porteres.
PGPINLAW: But can 1 get kitchen utensils
. there2
, are agents for the New Eastern Range, the
o. Belle You see and you buy and you want
all Your meals cooked on it. Costs $24 and is
equal to any SO stove in the market Pattosien
has: eY&rything in the house furnishing line of
the West and best goods in the market at
leg st:15 per cent below downtown prices and
q. POPINLAW: Stop a moment You are get
ting warmed. up. Tell me. is it a reliable con
cern?%Ar they doing good work?
: ERAIGHT:. Great Scott! do you think that
a concern. can do a quarter Of million dollars
business, the first year and not do right with
eEerybody2 / say no.
p. POPINLAW: But they do a good deal of ad-
yeT'tlsing, You know that.
; sTRAIGHTi Yes; indeed. but you never see
in their advertisements any of the forced
SALE: closing OUT or bankrupt stock hum
bug: They simply state what they can do and
they do it, Advertising is lie the powder that
= yes the shot, but it is the man behind the
5All, that wins the battle. A hollow shell fired
rs wasted powder. DO you catch the point?
D.. POPINLAW: I do-that's' good one
leaves that store not in what a chinam rasin
shape, it is because Mr.. Pattosien does not
know it. and If he could call It back he would,
even II IT was a. hundred miles away-or five
POPINLAW; An right. old boy I will go
and ouy rne whole outfit right there, but here 8
a point You know I am going to make the
pose I select something they don't want?
STRAIGHT: In the first place Pattosien can
advise you, He has furnished more nests for
newly mated turtledoves than you could count
in leap year, and he knows at once what is
POPINLAw: That's good, but suppose Mr..
Pattq altos Il I3 100 6usy to see me personally?
energy TO see every one Of his hundreds OF Gus
toners, besides being the head OF every de-
partment in the great two-acre store He Is
the chief among all his numerous statesmen
POPINLAW: But suppose l should buy
STRAIGHT: Meyer mind that. Anything
doesn't suit. and If you overbuy yourself 20
to the manager and they take back the article
and you. get your money back
POPINLAW: That's the kind OF a house to
deal with. How do get there?
STRAIGHT: Any car line in the city will take
YOU either direct with transfers There s the
Mission line direct and the Fillmore-street line
from the Western Addition, and the Kentucky
street from the Potrero, and the Guerrero
street line from San Mateo County. Ask any
conductor TO put you down at Pattosien's great
POPINLAW: All right. I'll be out in the
Mission my boy. bright and early Monday
morning. How shall 1 recognize the store
among others?
STRAIGHT: What question? How do you
distinguish the City Hall from a woodshed?
Get along with you. you'll see a great two
acre store with OLD GLORY floating at all
the four corners.
Nh for Pattoslen and hip-hip-hip hur-rah-rah-
raj for OLD GLORY RI buy in the Mission
and tell YOU all about il next Sunday.
STRAIGHT: And then I'll tell you most
Interesting account of how carpets are made
Don't forget the corner Of Mis-
sion and 10th Sts.-and hnrrah
for Patt0sien'S and OLD GLORY.