The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1898-08-13
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NEVADA.

North American.
Dear Bargains, Kirby tsloomilyl--
Wheat went down from 81 81 to 94c
today. Mrs. klrby-l thought YOU men
didn't believe in bargain days.-frnth.
Giles-l just heard that Hawkins re-
ferred TO me as a perfect IDIOT Smiles
oh. don't mind what Hawkins says; he
always exaggerates more or less-C1i-
cago News.
Cltlzen-Unless my eyes deceive me,
you are the party | gave ten cents 10
yesterday. Beggar-l am, sir. Did You
think a dime would make new man of
me:-Truth.
''Of course" observed the thin wheel
man, water won't run up hill
well" replied the fat wheelman, who
was still pulling and blowing, Il don't
blame it."-Puck.
Briggs-Was the Boston girl pleased
when you proposed! Griggs-lmmense-
ly. She said that in twenty minutes
straight talk | didn't make one gram
NAUTICAL error.-Life.
Millie-Why do you never speak to
Mr.. Marbles nowl He is nnconih. hut
I feel sure he is n diamond in the rough.
Glara-So do |. That's why I'm cut
ting him., Boston Globe.
He-Haye YOU heard of this new cure
for nervous prostration? The patient
Is not ALLOWED to talk. She'd just as
soon die from prostraton as exaspera-
n.-Cinclnnati Enquirer
IIiram-Hurry up, Mandy, an git
away from this buildln'. Mandy
What's yer hurry, Hi: Hiram tchucl;-
ling)-TheFeller in the elevator forgot
to collect our fares.-Truth.
George, dear, you remember that
lovely sideboard that was 50 cheap?
Well. I've discovered a plan to make
room for IT, How. my dear by
taking IL larger fiat. Brooklyn Life.
Mrs. Quiverful-Do you know. dear.
that think the baby sometimes cries
in her sleep? Mr.. Quiverful lsayagely)
Il don't know about that but know
she often cries in mine-Iiek Me Up.
Application ana very much afraid
that our friend Mr.. Fritters lacks APP
plication," remarked the business man.
"Not at all, replied the friend. "fe
applies TO me for loan once a week
regularly. Washington Star.
Excited Lady tat telephone,-I want
my husband, please, nj once. Voice
from the cxchangel-Number. please:
Excited Lady (snappishly)- the
fourth, you mpudent thing.-Boston
Globe.
Scorcher-They say that 1t has bad
effect on the brain to ride with your
head down between the handle-bars.
Sprocket-Don't you believe word OF
1t. The men who ride that way
haven't any brain to be affected.
ton Transcript.
A young Englishman, being asked at
dinner whether he would have some
bird s-nest pudding. said to the hostess:
"Ah. yes; birds nest pudding. And
what kind of bird may have made itT' i
"Oh, 1t was the eook-coo made II" was
the prompt reply.
lOu ait tluitt Naiif III
the year, said the summer-resort land /
lords friend. Yes; | always fix mp
my announcements at this time of year.
You see am thoroughly conscien-
tious man. and | wish to be able to .
ktate that there are no mosquitoes
Washington Star.
Miss Homewood-Ch Charley Brushton
told me that was looking pretty this
morning. Miss Point Breeze-That isn't .
what he told me he said to you. what .
did he sayT' lie said he told you that /
you Were looking as pretty as ever
Plttsburg Chronicle.
The judge believe | shall leave 1t I
TO you this time. About how many
days do you think ought to give you?
Perry Patettic-Honest, your honor |
don't just know. Do you think 1t Is
goln' 10 be an early spring or a late
one ?-Cinclnnat Enquirer.
wayworn Watson-Here Is one of
these story writers who says in the pa
pers that genius is nothing but hard
work. Perry Patettic-Nothin but hard .
work? And to think that used to /
have a great respect for them fellers
who could wrfte.-Clncinnat Enquirer.
Il understand that you have been
called to another charge" said the In.
teryiewer. NO" said the minister,
who had been struggling along at the .
tail end of the little church debt. "by I
the blessing Of Providence this is a cash
situation that | take. indianapolis
Journal
1t Would Be Costly.-He watched the
pompous man getting measured for
suit of clothes. ITS an excellent
thing" he said at last, "that a mans
egotism is not included in the measure
ments, or some people would go broke
paying for one suit. Chicago Evening
Post.
Il would go with you to the end of
the EARTH he asserted passlonately.
Not with me you wouldn't she re-
piled, coldly. why not?' he demand
ed. For two reasons, she answered.
zone is that I'm not going away, and
the other Is that there isn't any"
When one meets the prosaic new wom-
an one has to be careful what he says.
-Tit-Bits.
Mrs. tadde, faith curist-How Is
your grandfather this morning, Bridg-
ct? "IIe still has the rheumatlcs mighty
bad, num-" ''You mean he thinks he
has the Rheumatism There Is no such
thing as rheumatism" Yes, num-"
A few days later: .'And does your
sill persist In bis delnsion