The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-01-23

EdEG l. l44C66 ~ Ia -oG
gall. and he so divinely sweet and for
giving through all. a horrible oppres
sion hung over the world: / felt chok-
ing; my ribs pressed inwards; my heart
seemed contracted. He was dying To-
the sins of the world, he summed Up
the whole worlds woe and pitifulness;
the two ideas thrObDed and fused IN
my troubled soul. And 1, a Jew, had
hitherto ignored him. What would they
say, these simple peasants sobblng all
around, if they knew that l was or
tina hated racer Then something broke
in me and l sobbed too-sobbed with
bitter tears that soon turned sweet IN
strange relief and glad sympathy with
my rough brothers and sisters
He paused a moment, and slipped 81
lently at his absinthe. l did not break
the silence. 1 was moved and inter-
ested, though what all this a to do
with his glowing, joyous picture l
could only dimly surmise. He went on:
when it was all yer and ! went out
into the open air, l did not see the sun
light. l carried the dusk of the theatre
with me, and the gloom of Golgotha
brooded over the sunny afternoon 1
heard the nails driven in, 1 saw the
blood squirting from the wounds; there
was realism in the thing, l tell YOU
The peasants, accustomed to the pain
full story, had quickly recovered their
gayety, and were pouring b0isterously
down the hillside like a glad, turbulent
mountain stream Embossed from the
dead hand of frost. But l was still
ice-bound and fog-wrapped. Outside
the GaSthauS where l went to dine, gay
groups assembled, an organ played,
some strolling Italian girls danced
gracefully, II my artistic self was
aware of a warmth and a rush. But
the inmoSt me was neck-deep in gloom,
{ with which the prrihlU-nnIn6ad steak
they gave me, fraudulently overlaid
with two SNOWY fried eggs, seemed
only in keeping. st. John came in, the
Christ, and the school master-whO had
conducted the choir@and the thick
tenor, and some SuperS; and l congrat-
ulated them n and all with a gloomy
sense of dishonesty. When, as even
ing fell, l walked home with st. John,
l was gloomily glad to n the valley
shrouded in mist and a ~starlesS heaven
sagging over a blank earth. 1t seemed
an endless uphill drag to my lodging,
and though my bedroom was uneXpect-
eddy dainty, and a dear old woman-St.
Johns mOther-metaphorically tucked
me in, l slept i'll that night. FormlesS
dreams tortured me with impalpable
tragedies and approximations of horror.
In the morning, after a cold sponging,
the oppression lifted a little from my
spirit, though the weather still seemed
rather gray. st. John had already
gone off to his field work, his mother
told me. She was so lovely, and the
room in which l ate breakfast so neat
and demure with its whitewashed
walls, pure and stainless like country
snow, that 1 managed to swal-
low everything but the coffee. Oh,
that coffeel 1 had to nibble at a bit of
chocolate l carried, to get the taste of
it out OF my mouth. [ tried hard not
rn lnt fhA hIrrAr not AIa ~ In-1
again. | filled my pipe, and pulled out
my sketch-book. My notes of yester-
day seemed SO faint and the morning
growing so dark, that l could scarcely
see them. l thought l would go and
sit or the little bench outside. AS 1
was sauntering through the doorway,
my head bending broodingly over the
sketch-book, like this, L caught sight
out oe the corner of my eye of a little
white match-stand Xed upon the wall.
Mechanically 1 put out my left hand to
take a light for my pipe. A queer cold
wetness il my fingers and a little
splash woke me to the sense of some
odd mistake. and in another instant I
realized with horror that 1 had dipped
my fingers into holy water and splashed
1t over that neat, demure, spotless,
w~hite-washed wall"
l could not help smiling. "Ah. I
know. one of those porcelain things
with a crucified Saviour over a little
font. Fancy taking heaven for brim-
stonei"
1T didn't seem the least bit funny at
the time. I just felt awful. What
would the dear Did woman say to this
PROCLAMATION? Why did people have
whitewashed walls on which sacrilegi-
u stains were luridly visible? I
looked up n down the hall, like Moses
when he slew that Egyptian, trembling
lest the old woman should come in.
How could l make her understand 1
was so ignorant of Christian custom as
to mistake a font for a Matchbox?
And if 1 sale 1 was a Jew-good
heavens. she might think ! had
done it of fell design. What a wound
to the gentle old creature who had been
so sweet to mel | could not STAY in
sight of nat accusing streak; 1 must
walk off my uneasiness. I threw
open the outer door, then 1 stood
still. paralyzed. Monst Gus, evil
looking gray mists were dumped