New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1898-01-24
YOUR FRIEND WHO is DEAF.
HOW THOUGHTFULNESS MAY ALWAYS
TIGHTEN THIS DREAD AFFLICTION.

USEFULNESS NOT GONE WITH LOSS OF HEARING
LITTLE courTEsIEs THAT MEAN a GREAT
DEAL TO THE SENSITIVE PERSON
WHO CANNOT HEAR WELL.
You have friend who is hard OF hearing. She
Is not entirely deaf. and does not use an ear
trumpet. and 1t IS not necessary TO shout at her
She is able TO fulfil all her social duties can enjoy
n tate-A-tete call. a dinner party II she has an
agreeable noghbor. but she Is bewildered In gen
cral conversation. docs not always hear when UNI
cxpectedly addressed, has to take front seat III
church. and loses many little pleasures. In your
heart you pity her. but have you ever given five
minutes thought to the numerous ways IN which
you can help her 10 bear this burden?
There are many people in the world who enjoy
poor health; perhaps you one OF them. but you
may safely assume that your half-deaf friend takes
pride in her affection. You may like to have
people inquire after your neuralgia. ana make Il
Ettlo fuss about securing you seat out OF the
draucht. but there is not one deaf person in
hundred who cares to have attention called to his
or her inirni:y. so the first lesson You must
learn II YOU wish to be helpful II unohtrusveness.
II You are arranging n drawing-room meeting. do
not say to every one who comes In please leave
n front seat for Miss Jones. you know she f.
deaf" And when she comes do not announce
that all hear 1t that you have made such
a great EFFORT to keep a place for he. Not only
atng her inirmity I'm the minds OF others. and as
a result she may be left out Of some future gather
ing which she would enjoy extremely. Re mem
Der too. how constantly she Is being reminded Of
her trouble In the natural course of events. and
do not call her attention TO it unnecessarily.
TIIOUGHTFTLNESS THAT HURTS
If She has not heard some statement Of yours
and asks you about 1t later. don't say II told YOU
that at breakfast this morning" II said so
yesterday" Unless she has reproached you for
rot telling her such remarks are thoughtless.
Again. II she Is talking to YOU happily about the
conccr: she enjoyed so much don't say. Il doubt
II You heard all the delicate touches and fine
moduatons OF tone" or II she tells you she takes
so much pleasure in her birthday present,
clock that strikes surely II IS unnecessary 10 re-
mark in a surprised tone. "Why. can you hear it,
II she talks to you confdentially on the subject.
she probably will tell YOU that the hardest part
Of her trial Is the feeling that she annoys other
people Perhaps you say "Oh nonsense don't
mind it,. bu, do you take pains 10 suppress all
tokens OF impotence when you are obliged to re-
peat a remark or do you try to render such rep
clifton unnecessary? \ woman victim OF i'm
haired hearing once said: 1T all were thought
full as our waitress ! should not feel my deafness
half so much. When she has Il message for me
she comes up TO and does not begin TO speak
until she is that ! can hear. The oiher maids
ments and often halfway through the com
m lnicaion before realize that any one Is speak
ing to me. Then | have TO make them say IL an
over again" The waitress had gra''ped the luhua-