Arizona republican., 1898-05-08

self cOmm1CJee on the conduct or the war The two military establishments are simply inundated with suggestions as to how this thing and that ought to be done. The flood of suggestions has stopped over the dikes, and the clerks of the two war branches are the sufferers. They are working over time addressing circulars to the mak- CTS of suggestions printed circulars, i cOurteously acknowledging the receipt of suggestions and vaguely intimating that, while the government is getting along moderately we'll with the tried and tested resources already at hand or in process of development, the sug- gestions will receive proper consid- eration" at the proper time. Ninety nine per cent of these suggestions may be termed rubbish pure and simple; the remaining 1 per cent of them are ; dreamful, impracticable, out of the uuestion-disordered mental exuda- tions of the sort known as pipe frances.
 A man whose suggestion is dated SedaIia, Mo-, and who subscribes him self "Scipio Caesar, Warrior" advises the secretary of war to immediately seize all the elephants now in the United States with circuses and form ing part of the menageries of zoolog'- cal gardens and to make up an ele- phant battalion to assist in the inva- sion of Cuba.
 "yu noe.' he adds "mr Sakertry that elefant Is horid Joking beest and A hunnered elefants with gatlin guns on Ther baks wud simpley rage thun- der with Them greesers and skar The m into the next Whirld."
 'Scipio Caesar, Warrior" was duly informed through the medium of a printed circular that his elephant idea would be considered later. It probab- 1y will not be, though. for the war de- partment will in all likelihood decline to develop enthusiasm over any future experiment with foreign and unaccli- mated quadrupeds after the fizzlir g out of that bunch of reindeer for the Klondyke.
 . The danger of yellow fever In the army of invasion has brought to the war department few thousand letters on the subject. A woman living at Baker City, Ore, who writes Faith Christ" after her name, and frankly confesses that she was never in the yellow fever country and never saw case of yellow jack in her life, in forms the secretary of war that this yellow fever scare is really foolish. my dear, brilliant sir"
 Yellow fever" she writes, ''is. like a good many other ills of this life. purely matter of the human imagi- nation, and the human imagination is notor1ously deceptive. People imag- me they are going to get yellow fever, ana they just get it. All they have got to do, when the yellow fever, with it's Ir1gntful m1en, creeps stealthily to- ward them, is to say 10 themselves: l won't get the yellow fever; I can't get yellow fever; I am yellow fever proof; l was meant to die some other way than from yellow fever,' and be- hold, dear sir, they surely won't get yellow fever. Too much imagination is at the bottom of all trouble With all the trouble I have had, I am sure l if l had not long ago said to myself, 1 You have no trouble at all-you are just as happy as can be- why, I am sure, dear, high sir, that I do not know what I would have done. If you will only tell the poor soldier men the great, noble things-Mr. Secre- 1 tary, to say to themselves when they l put foot on Cuba Libre, No, sir, am not going to give way to yellow fe- ver,' why, dear, high sir, am perfectly certain that not one of them will die from that imaginary plague. Will you dear sir?"
 This faith curist was told, in writ ten communication, that the soldiers would be recommended to keep their fn he ho everyday rules of health, but that the department could not undertake to exercise any control over their imagi- nations.
 A Raleigh, N C., man suggests that, in view of the discovery last year" that yellow fever is caused by a mi crobe, the war department should send lot of agents down to the countries where the yellow fever prevails, have them corral a few billion of the yellow fever germs, and begin to inoculate | gradually the soldiers who are going to enter Cuba, so that by the time 1 they get there they will be free from the danger of contagion.
 ] A Memphis, Tenn, man who says in his letter that he has had yellow fever three times treats the whole yellow l the secretary of war that, far from being dangerous, yellow fever is only a trifiing affiiction, and the general tenor of his letter would seem to in- dicate that he rather enjoyed his three doses of it.
 Yellow jack is good for a man." he says in conclusion. 'sIt don't do nc harm to nobody. The folks that dies has somethin' else the matter with them when they git it. Now the vel low jack built me up every time he'd it. It hooked the malerie out of me and I tux on about thirty pouns oi flesh after 1 had it all three times I'm as hard asa nut now, and laugh hard every time the folks I know git scart
 when the jack gifts up this away"
 A Kentucky gentleman, who perhaps
 has the title of colonel prefixed to his
 name for conversational use, in-
 forms the secretary of war that goot mellow whiskey, and heaps of it, is all the soldiers who are to enter Cuba