The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1898-10-05
He Will Enlist Next Time.

eff there is ever another war am
going to enlist, regardless OF the cause"
This was the continuation of dinner
talk at club in this city. The speaker
proceeded:
1.-THE other day l saw Mrs. Blank
trying to hail the driver of an ice wag.
on by yelling at him. was dumfounded,
because she is generally helpless crea-
ture land never heard of her interesting
herself in any of the domestic duties of
her house. l mentioned the unusual
occurrence to my wife at dinner, and
she said she thought il was very CON-
mendable in Mrs. Blank. l ventured
to reply that it was not graceful, and
that | should not care to see my wife
yelling at an iceman, or any man.
"But you see,' rejoined my wife as
she passed my cup, Mrs. Blanks hus-
band was volunteer
"True,' said 1, but his command
never got to the front. No fault of his
l admit. And now he is home and is
as healthy and robust as am. He told
me himself his army experience was an
outing for him, and that he never felt
better in his life.'
Quiet true,' said my wife, but Mrs.
Blank probably thinks of what might
have been. saw her calling to the
iceman-she was not yelling as you put
it; and she explained TO me, dear, that
her husband expressed desire for a
dish; the preparation of which required
an extra allowance of ice, and that as he
had said he had not tasted the dish in
question since he enlisted she thought
she would have it prepared, and in or
der that there might be nc mistake she
just put on her hat and attended to the
order herself; and think it was very
sweet of her.
l Immediately changed the topic. AT.
ter a cigar, said would call up my
liveryman and have him send around
the victoria and team. l thought an
evening on Riverside in the face of the
moon about the proper thing. AS l was
starting to the telephone, my wife put
her arms around my neck and said she
had sent the team around to Mrs. Blanks
because Mrs. Blank had said that Mr..
Blank had not been out for drive since
he enlisted.
"Last Saturday concluded / would
give my wife bit of surprise, and at
10 o'clock in the morning called her
over the wire and told her to have the
man bring her to pier so-and-so,
and to bring her traps for bit of a
cruise. She thanked me, and said l
was thoughtful, and put in some very
pretty talk. She said in the same treacle
tone:
'Say, Jim, dear, do you care if Mr..
and Mrs. Blank join us p
"Why?' / shouted back. 'They
had the rig the other day when want
ed it. Confound it, can't we have our
yacht one night alone? l asked.
"Well. waited minute for the eff
feet, and then l heard her voice, low
and sweet. Jim, dear, know it was
not right, but had asked them to go
aboard this evening after you came up.
was going to surprise you. And Mrs.
Blank said Mr.. Blank had not been on
yacht since he enlisted. thought il
would be NICE"
"And 80 it goes. Mr.. and Mrs. Blank
were at card party at my house, and
my wife said she hoped l would not
skin Mr.. Blank as / used to, because he
had not been to card party since he
enlisted. Mr.. Blank sent over for my
| fishing outfit-you know that outfit,
which cost me $500 three years ago
never had it out but twice Well, !
was out of town and my wife sent il
over; and when l howled about it she
said poor Mr.. Blank had not been fish
ing since he enlisted.
"And now Mr.. and Mrs. Blank and
my wife are away up in the Adiron-
dacks, cause Mr.. Blank has not been
anywhere since he enlisted. And
when he looks at me and sees me get
ing red in the face, he shuts one eye
and says, Jim, you missed it when you
didn't enlist. Why, damn his bead
he hasn't been out of the State y
Exchange.