The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1898-04-15
INDIGNANT PROTESTS.
A Lady who Takes Exception to Some Of
the sttndard's Paragraphs.

n Iuty mo hahts LhteItioh W SoihS u
the standards Paragraphs.
MI. Mckinley will go down to his
tory as the country's grand old maid"
Anaconda Standard Of April IL.
Mr.. Standard-Please conform your
language To the usages of diplomatic
courtesy. Mr.. Mckinley an old maid,
indeed! l am an old maid myself, n
as an American citizen, limited, l OBJ
ject To being called names in this hour
of our country's need. Mr.. Mckinley
an old maid!!! Shades of Elizabeth
defend US. Now. she was an old maid,
as is an old maid, was Elizabeth. She
ounte her milk-white charger, all
armed capable, N talked to her SOL
diers like a Dutch uncle. Men of Eng
land." she cried. Follow your queen!'
and off she darted to meet Spanish
Philip and his invincible armada, which
came sailing up the English channel,
leaving good Mr.. Cecil to fetch her
knitting bag and bathing suit and other
little needments. Why, IL makes your
heart beat like a bass drum to think of
that old girl. II she tried "a shooting
match with Philip. she carried off the
blue ribbon every time. III he offered
"a game of love making she tossed the
engagement ring from finger to fin
ger in the most tantalizing way, with a
full hand n two aces up her sleeve.
She didn't throw a sop to the jingoes
and leave the back door open for Philip
to get in. she didn't. She just said.
"Englishmen," and all the right little,
tight little island got straight up and
took off his hat. Mckinley al old maid!
Bah!!! Elizabeth. God bless the old
lady, knew how to talk, n the people
could understand her. If she thought
an n with tw OILS she said IL, and blu
blazes rose up all round to show that II
was there. How about Mckinley? He
takes FIVE columns of the morning paper
To tell congress something that he
thinks he thinks. and when it's all fin
shed it's as empty as a whiskey bar
rel on the 9th OF July. Nothing i'm il
but rot. without that other part of the
word which might at least make II
mean something. Mckinley an old
maid Why. we of the genuine kline
could weave up the whole Spanish PEN
insula into a gossimer veil n wear II
on our new spring bonnets while Nc
Kinley Is preparing to make ready to
initiate a remonstrance. Miss Clara
Barton can clothe the entire island of
naked Cubans and plant and gather
their crops for them while Mr.. McKin-
ley is going out to see IL he hears a
noise.
The presidents attitude toward
Spain is suggestive OF a girl throwing
a stone."-Anaconda Standard of April
IL.
IL now becomes interesting TO know
Just what a girls attitude is when she
Is throwing a stone-a state of question.
as IL were. a girl can throw light on
the presidents attitude even IL she
can't throw a stone. Now, j begin TO
feel my own importance. l have been
a girl and ! have thrown stones. There
was no hash-light. and l can't explain
my a~ttitude-a little like the president.
My stone generally went straight
down the crooked lane and all around
the square" and that Is like the presi-
dents. too. My stones always struck
somewhere. Maybe the presidents will.
The country expected a vigorous pol
icy. but Mr.. Mckinley has given us a
lady-like message Tor words to thai
effecp.-Anaconda Standard of April IL.
Lady-like. Lady-like. Tive me my
bicycle suit and Fedora hat: give me a
cane and a cigarette; give me a nous
tache and a doodle grin; III be lady
II no more. There is nothing In lady
hood to fight for. when the standards
funny man can invade our house boat
and say to our very teeth. as they lie
soaking in a tumbler of peroxide. this
message OF Mr.. McKinley's Is lady-like.
In she name of Cleopatra. of Zenobia
and Of the queen Of Sheba, tell me what