The Monmouth inquirer., 1898-12-08

y ~f+-- t~-e@ -
4 and twenty acres of hops"
Professor. l won't stay here i you
! don't let up on that.
.And your wife does not look well il
that new Watertown wagon, SO you
take your hired man and neignbor's
girl to meeting. Your wife never goes
| anywhere. SO you do not get her 8
! watch like your own, nor a new silk
I dress, nor a pony that she could drive
nor a basket phaeton that she could
climb into without a ladder. She never
says anything so you have not got her
I set Of teeth like your own. gold and
rubber, and her nose is pushed up into
! her forehead and her face wrinkles
/ She never goes out. She has to work il
/, the kitchen, so sne gets no nice shoes
like yours
Darn my skin, If DON'T
! mo, you won't. You VIII just let her
work right along and then you will
marry some high fiier, who viii pull
every hair out of your head and serve
! you right. too
professor, for mercy's sake, stop!"
| When you know, and l know, that
! if yonr wife had a chance to rest, and
4 had nice clothes like other women, she
would be one of the best looking women
1 of her age in the town"
/ q swan, believe it."
\ And, old as she is, if you were to
get out the carriage next Sunday and
drive around with the colts and tell her
I you wanted her to go to meeting with
Eyou. she would actually blush with
I pleasure"
4 "Darned if ! don't do it,
1 "Then, Monday, if you were to tell
fher you we're going to hire girl, and
| THAT she must sit in the sitting room by
! the new nickel-plated coal stove and
work on that new silk dress you are
! going to buy her
Professor, that's me-"
"And then hand her nice wallet,
1 with steel clasps and with five nice
I twenty dollar notes in it. and tell her
to do her own trading after this, be-
1 cause you nave got tired Of looking
after so much money"
+ Il will. as sure as you live
"And then, when the tear starts in
I her eye, and the same old blush comes
t0ut that you thought so nice when you
went on that teeter to Albany, if you
would kiss her.
Its all light, professor
Then, my friend, | should begin to
think che had made something by
marrying a rich man"
You're right, old man.
"Then / think you wouldn't have a
miserable wife any longer Then you
would no longer want to sell or rent
1.-THE farm, but would be showing the
mother of yonr children how much you
respected her for her life of devotion.
Then she would know she was part
ner in that thirty thousand. Then If
you made your will all right, and she
mad a good rest, think she would some
time be an eligible widow"
Think SO, professor
Il know it. Woman is plant that
wants sunshine. You have been leav-
ing your wife in the shade too much.
She has lost her color. You have made
her think she is an old woman. She has
given up all hope of admiration and
love and is only waiting to die and
get out of the way. Suppose you were
treated so?,
ssWhat. me? / am all right.
Yes, / know Women pity you be-
cause you are tied to such a sorry
looking wife. Foolish old maids and
silly girls whisper behind your back
what d nice looking man you are. and
what a stick of a wife you have. and
YOU are lust soft enough to wear tight
boots and oil what little hair you have
around figuring up how long before