Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-11-14
STUCK FAST TO A CHAIR.
Luckily This Youth Was Fastened by His
Hair, Not by His Clothes.

Hair, Not by His Clothes.
A society youth had rather un-
pleasant time of it on an East End
porch few evenings ago. The people
Of the house have been making a gen.
eral renovation of the premises, outside
and in, and among other improvements
painted and vanished the porch
chairs. One of these chairs, 1t was one
with wicker back, was chosen by the
youth as his resting place, and he
found it very comfortable one. Pret-
ty soon, however, the heat of his head
with its thick adornment, softened up
the varnish and he suddenly discovered
to his dire dismay that his hair was
firmly stuck fast to the chair. He pull
ed gently, but 1t wouldn't let go. He
pulled little harder, it was still firm.
He gave jerk and the tears filled his
eyes But the varnish held on for dear
life.
OF course the young woman on the
porch continued in blissful Ignorance
Of the situation. The young man an
swered her in monosyllables. His
1 WClG dll Ou iout DIG
kept up lively chatting, and appar-
emily did not notice how distrait he
was.
Pretty soon the girls mother came
out on the porch. Now, he wanted to
make good impression upon the girls
mother. Yet he didn't rise. He didn't
bow. He didn't even nod. 1t was too
dusky to see the faces of the ladies,
but he knew they regarded him as
frst-class boor. He groaned inwardly
and pulled on the varnish until he felt
as If scalped.
The elderly lady said very little, and
what she said had an icy flavor. The
young woman made a brave effort to
draw the visitor out, but she soon saw
it was no use. Silence ensued. The
youth knew it was time for him to go.
Yet he didn't stir. He wondered what
the night watchman would say when
he saw him sitting there in the early
morning hours.
Then he knew he must speak up.
Excuse me-" he said, "but-but do
you-that is, could you lend me this
chair-just long enough to take it
homer"
"Sir?" said the elderly lady. She
probably thought he was intoxicated
"I'm in earnest" said the youth, dis
mally. 81 never was more in earnest
In my life. find that can't go home
without the chair, and, of course, !
can't stay here all night-at least, don't
want to, and"
What is the matter?" family in
quired the young woman.
81 think" said the youth, gravely,
4 think it is varnish-but l really
can't look to see."
Dear mel" cried the elderly lady
Are you stuck fast?"
81 am" said the youth.
"Wh-where?" gasped the young wo-
man.
'My hair" said the youth.
What a shame!" cried the young
woman in a relieved tone.
'It's dreadful" echoed the old lady
So then they got at him and the old
lady found some linseed oil and soften
ed up the varnish, and the young wom-
an got the cutest little pair of scissors
and cut off few particularly stubborn
locks, and they fused over him until
the young man reluctantly gave little
sharp pull and was free.
"And now, madam" he said to the
elderly lady, will you permit to make
amends for my late incivility?" And he
his best bow, and the old lady was de-
lighted. And everybody felt so pleasant
that the young man stayed full half
hour longer.
But he sat in another chair.