The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1898-10-25
WAS GETTING EVEN.
\ WAITER GIVES A CUSTOMER A LES
SON IN IMPORTuNING.

but the Waiter Called His Attention to
Everything In the Place.
Pork and beans? Yes, sir. Anything
slse?''
"No."
The waiter in the Madison street res
taurant filled the order with alacrity.
Ibid you say coffee, sir?" he asked
as he placed the pork and beans before
the hungry guest.
mo- replied the latter.
You'll find our coffee very nice,
sir %
''This bread and butter goes with the
pork and, doesn't it?''
Eyes, sir. :"
"And this glass of water?"
Certainly, sir.
"Well, that's all I want.
Eyes, sir. Like to try cup of our
chocolate?"
mo. If 1 want anything else, I'll
call for it.
The waiter stepped back, but returned
presently to ask:
"Wouldn' t you like to have me bring
you some of our homeless Goldfish? It's
the best in the country"
"No."
How about roast turkey with stuff
ing?"
Don't want any. -
cts first class"
"That's all right don't want it. "
"I think you'd like our roast beef and
Drowned potatoes .
Didn't you hear me say that if 1
wanted anything else 1 would call for
it?''
eyes, sir"
The waiter stepped back again, but
in few moments returned to the at
tack
Excuse me for saying So my friend,
but you look as if you might be needing
some kind of game Suppose you try
our jacksnipe on toast. F"
"Great Scottl Don't you reckon I
know what l wantP'
eyes, sir Our jacksnipe is fresh
and good Everybody needs to eat game
once in awhile. Kind of tones up the
system. %
"I've told you don't want any"
eyes, sir Rabbits amt good this
time of year or we'd have some rabbit.
Squads are about as good as wild game,
j though Like to try broiled squad on
toast2''
"I'd like to eat my pork and beans
in peace Bring me some more water,
will your"
| Eyes, sir. Shan't bring you some
iced tea?''
'Not any iced tea. %
''It's very fine.
Don't want it. :"
"It's good for some people; tones up
the system
"That's all right Bring me that
water, will your
EYES, sir"
He went away and returned in an in
credibly short space Of time.
Here's your water" he said, "but
1 think YOU find our iced coffee mighty
fine. -
The guest made no reply.
Better let me bring you some iced
coffee, sir. -
"When want any iced coffee or any
thing else, I'll let you know"
Ever try any Of our stewed mush-
rooms?''
"No, and don't want to try any Of
your stewed mushrooms either"
"You needn't be afraid of them, sir.
They're all right. We guarantee them,
and there ain IT any better in the United
States. "
81 don e.
"Some people, you know, are afraid
of mushrooms. Ours are selected with
great care. The man we get our mush-
rooms from is an expert. He raises 'em
scientifically
"Say, do you know you're a con-
founded nuisance?"
"I hope not, sir. I'm only trying
your own way of doing business on
you. a"
"What do you meanY"
"You run a barber shop on State
street, don't you?"
Eyes What of that?''
"You have the chair next to the
front door, think?'
eyes"
"Well, l went to your shop last Sat
urday to get shave. You shaved me.
You tried to get me to have my hair
cut You told me ought to have a
shampoo. You said my hair needed
singeing You wanted to know If ]
hadn t better have some tonic or bay
rum. You wanted to sell me d special
shaving mug and brush You bored me
every minute you were shaving me, and
l said to myself that if l ever got a
chance at you I'd even up things
didn't expect you quite so soon, though.
Say, we're about even, amt we?"
"We'l be a little more than even
when tell your boss about your dog
goned impudence"-
81 guess you won't do that. There
dozen of us that get shaved at your
shop You go to making any trouble
and you'll lose the lot of us. You'd bet
ter take your medicine like little
Going, are you? Well, come again.
Treat you all right next time. Chi
cago Tribune.