The Van Buren press., 1898-08-06
HIS LITTLE BILL.
He Was IA Physician Who Objected
TO Giving Professional Advice
Free Under Any Circumstances.

Nov, in regard to your little bill,
DOCTOR" said the old gentleman, as he
dropped into the physicians private of
flee and took a chair.
"Ah, yes" returned the doctor, iii
be very glad to get the money, assure
you. I'm not very prompt and business
like in these matters, I'm afraid. let
things run along and run along until
need the money and then | make out
the bill and send it in. No doubt some
| of these items should have been charged
up to you months ago"
II don't care anything about that re-
turned the old man. You can take all
the time you want about sending your
bills in, but, hang 1t all! strikes me that
this one is mighty steep"
why. thought it very reasonable"
answered the doctor.
"And some of the items don't under
stand" went on the old gentleman.
"For instance, here is a charge of four
dollars for March G, and as | recall 1t
March was the day you took Sunday
dinner with u.s."
"Precsely," explained the doctor;
"and you will recall also that after din
ner your daughter was kind enough to
sing for me, and that she complained of
little throat trouble and asked me if
I thought it was anything serious, to
which | replied that did not"
II recall it," admitted the old gentle
man.
well" said the doctor, that four dol
lar charge is for professional advice
given on that occasion. | also charged
up another four dollars for the time
your wife asked me how big a dose of
quinine it was safe to give a six-year-
old child. You remember the occa-
sion, I suppose. You had kindly in
yited me to the house for a friendly
game of whist, but did not understand
that the invitation included giving pro
fessional advice to your family. An
other evening when | was calling on
your daughter she asked me what was
normal temperature in human being,
and of course | have put down four dol
lars for that. You see, the habit of in
viting professional men out socially
ard then taking advantage of the fact
is growing so that many of us, includ-
ing some of the noted singers and in
strumentalists, have taken this method
of diseouraging n"
"Ah, yes, | see" answered the old
| gentleman. THE fact is, | didn't un-
derstand about it before, but no doubt
you are right. I'll just deduct the off
sets as soon as | get to my office, and
then let you know how the account
stands"
"The Offsets" exclaimed the doctor.
Certainly. Looking at this purely
| from a business point of view, there is,
of course, the Sunday dinner to be
charged up. That was quite an elab-
crate course affair, and | should say it
would be cheap at 50 so. Then there is
the music. My daughter doesn't rank
with some of the opera stars, but she
was singing for you alone on that oc-
casion, and naturally the individual cost
will be greater than it would be if you
were ore of large audience. ] should
| think ten or fifteen dollars would be
very reasonable. Then the evening we
played whist my wife put in about two
hours entertaining you, and she told
me afterward that she never in her life
had such hard time to keep conversa-
tion from tagging. ] don't know what
will be fair charge for that I'll have
to talk it over with her"
The basis upon which compromise
will be reached is problematcal, but
friends of both still have hopes of keep
ing the matter out of the c9urts.-Chi-
| capO Post