Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1898-09-22
WHAT CURED AUNT MONA.

certainly not for one during the last
twenty years. She walked the earth
a bundle Of unstrung nerves, an in
carnation Of aches and pains, a living
sufferer Of all the disorders that poor
mortals are liable to, specimenn Of
utter misery and living martyrdom
From the crown of her smooth, brown
head down to her pretty feet there was
no sound health in her, So she would
assure us ten times a day.
And she might have been so bright
and happy The wife of Thomas But,
terfeld, substantial yeoman and farm
er, whose crops never seemed to fail
and whose house was filled with plenty,
Aunt Mona had every substantial
good, in their plain way, that she could
have. Her children were hearty, heI
friends true. But that health of hers
ruined everything. Any husband less
sunny tempered than Uncle Butter
field would have become morose ere
this.
She had tried allopathy, homeo-
pathy, hydropathy; she had consulted
various kinds of practitioners-botan-
ic, electric, magnetic and mesmeric,
She once travelled to consult a re-
nowned medium.
There came into the village hard by
a man Of medicine, and he set up his
tent there for day or two. He called
himself the great "Physio- Eclectric-
Magnetic Healer" and he came her.
aided by mighty flourish Of trumpets
and by bills as large as life, PROCESSING
to cure everything. Aunt Mona was
in Autter of hope. She wrote to him
to say she was coming, and she took
me with her. Her own children were
not old enough, and Uncle Butterfeld
would as soon have paid visit to the
moon.
The great Magnetic Healer was a
tall man with black beard. He SOL
emnly bowed aunt into big chair,
and me to smaller one.
81 am so miserable, said Aunt
Mona, 81 have such terrible dreams.
"Do you drink green tea?' asked
the Great Healer
"No; occasionally hot pork chops
and apple fritters for supper, replied
Aunt Mona, sobbing.
81 have sure cure for you, said
he. at is called the Elixir Of Life
and Universal Panacea. This small
bottle of medicine which l will give
you,' he added, producing a little
white phial filled with lemon-colored
liquid, "is sufficient to cure any mortal
disease, and"
ut don't look much Of it, " inter
rupted aunt
my good lady, it will last you your
lifetime. You may take one drop on
rising in the morning, one drop at
noon, and one drop before retiring at
night. Continue this course for a
fortnight, then one drop only every
other day, until you are cured, will
be sufficient y
Pocketing his fee Of two guineas,
the renowned Magnetic Healer bowed
us out, my aunt clasping the treasured
bottle.
What mercy l went to him
she cried. "If he had but come here
few years agol What do you think
of him, Maria p
"If it cures you, Aunt Mona, it
will be a good thing" said l.
But now a dire misfortune befell
this golden remedy. Some few days
later Johnny, the youngest Of the lit
tie ones, aged seven, saw the Phial on
his mothers dressing-table, got hold
of it, and drank the whole at
draught.
No evil ensued to Johnny, but his
mother was frightfully put out, and
Johnny got whipping,
ut would have been the saving Of
my life. 1 see it; feel and know it.
l had confidence in that Elixir. And
it must be next to miracle that that
wicked Johnny is not dead. l was SO
much better for the few days took
it ! And now I must bear the return
of all my old ailments and die. Woes
me"
And the old ailments did return
as Aunt Mona said; and she made
life burden to herself and every
bodv obo,,f her