The silver lance., 1898-03-25
Atci,lson Globe Sights

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A fortune teller always tells a man
that he is fond OF women.
The joint keepers don't observe Lent
in the free lunches they serve.
A man who can roll a cigarette per
, fectly never amounts to anything.
As soon as man returns from his
bridal tour, he begins paying the fiddler.
There is no possible excuse for wo-
man who has a safety pin showing in her
clothes.
The very best husband in the world is
only poor substitute for small amount
Of money.
Our idea OF bright man is one who
has "a trouble, and can talk about any
thing else.
All those whom we can quote as con
firming our opinions are, OF course
prominent.
The women spend great deal OF time
and money on fancy underwear that no
one ever Sees
An unfortunate love affair for wo-
man is more disastrous than business
failure for man.
Immediately after eating heavy meal,
a dyspeptic honestly believes he will
never do it again.
The only men in the railroad business
who will talk, are the general managers
and the brakemen.
1t is one Of the disagreeable signs Of
age when a man begins dropping his
food on his vest front.
Everyone thinks he Is compelled to
devote too muci. time to covering up
Other peoples mistakes.
Worrying about people has to 10
handled with rare judgement, to keep it
from becoming nagging.
The prettier a girls spring dress is,
the longer it may be known thet her
father is fussing about it.
A woman has no cause to hold her
head above her neighbors unless she
calls her dressmaker modiste.
Though every one claimes to be fond
OF poetry, we never vet saw volume
OF poetry with the back worn of.
Every vanity has its penalty. 1t is
claimed that curly headed men get bald
quicker than straight haired men.
When our rainy day does come, it will
begin raining at daylight, and the down
pour will continue until midnight.
A favorite trick OF scoundrel is to
place good men in such position that
they are compelled to stand by him.
When boy gets hurt. it can never be
told how badly he is bruised until after
he has been given his Saturday bath.
The average person who sails into
society exhausts all his ammunition
the first night, by telling all he knows.
A man should either give up his beard
or his tobacco: both are bad habits, par
ticularly il engaged in at the same time.
BY the term. "a day OF reckoning will
come" is meant that il you accept invi-
tations to dinner, you will have to invite
back
When you have occasion to think Of
your stomach, it is out OF order; when
your conduct disturbs you, it is out of
order
The most noticeable features about
sermon is the number Of good places for
stopping that the speaker fails to take
advantage Of.
If there is anything which is particu-
larly inexcusable in a woman, it is to
look untidy when boarding and free from
household care.
Every man should have saved up
enough money to be able to take life
easier by the time he begins to get sleepy
in the day time.
We can never tell by the looks Of a
man on the streets il he is going to
church social, or to sit up all night with
the corpse Of a friend.
The married men make the greatest
fools of themselves in the name Of Pa
triotism: the unmarried men still have
an avenue open in Love.
No one knows what reproachful looks
are better than the woman who has
engineered church entertainment that
proved a financial failure.
After the average man has talked bus
mess to woman five minutes he begins
to have an exalted opinion of dry goods
clerks who keep their jobs.