The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1898-01-15
HOW SMITH ASKED THE old MAN.

Smith had just asked Mr.. Thompson S
daughter if she would give him lift ont
of bachelordom and she had said 'tGes
1t therefore became absolutely necessary
to get the old gentleman 5 permission, so,
as Smith said, the arrangements might be
made to hop the conjugal twig.
Smith said he d rather pop the mterro-
gatory to all of old Thompson daughters,
and his sisters, and his lady cousins, and
his aunt Hannah in the country, and the
whole of his female relations, than ask old
Thompson But it had to be done, and
so he sat down and studied out speech
which he was to disgorge at old Thompson
the very first time he got shy at him.
So Smith dropped in on him one Sunday
evening, when all the family had mean
dered around to meeting, and found him
doing 4 sum in beer measure.
How are you, Smith ?? said old
Thompson. as the former walked in, white
as Il piece of chalk, and trembling as if he
had swallowed condensed earthquake.
Smith was afraid to answer, cause he
WASH sure about that speech. He knew
he had to keep his grip on it while he had
it there, or it would slip from him quicker
than an oiled eel through an augur hole.
So he blurted out
s'Mr. Thompson, sir Perhaps it may
not be unknown to you, that during an
extended period of some five years, have
been busily engaged in the prosecution of
a commercial enterprise
Ia that so, and keepin it a secret all
this time, while thought you were ten
din store? Well, by George, you re one
of them now, ain YOU?
Smith had begun to think it all over
again, to get the run of it.
''Mr. Thompson, sir Perhaps it may
not be unknown to you, that during the
extended period of five years, | have been
busily engaged in the prosecution OF com
mercial enterprise, with the determination
to secure sufficient maintenance
'Sit down, Smith, and help yourself to
beer. Dom stand there holdin' your hat,
like blind begsar, with paralysis. |
never have seen you behave yourself so
queer in all nay born days.
Smith had been knocked out again, and
SO he had to wander back again and take
fresh start.
'sMr. Thompson, sir 1t may not be
unknown to YOU, that during an extended
period of five years, have been engaged
in the prosecution of Il commercial enter
prise with the determination to procure a
sufficient maintenance
"a which ance'' asked old Thompson; !;
but Smith held on the last word as if 1t
was his only chance, and went on =:
'In the hope that some day | might
enter wedlock, and bestow nay earthly pos
sessions upon one whom I could call my
own. I have been lonely man, sir and
have felt that it is not good for man to be
alone; therefore would
sNeither is it Smith; I'm glad you
dropped in. How the old man =?
aMr. Thompson, sir, said Smith, in
despairing confusion, raising his voice to a
yell, lit may not be unknown to you that,
during an extended period of lonely man,
[ have been engaged to enter wedlock, and
bestowed all my enterprise on one whom |
could determine to be good for certain
possessions-no, I mean-that is-that-
Mr.. Thompson, sir 1t may not be un-
know
"And then, again, it may. Look here,
Smith; you d better lay down and take
something warm-you amt well. .
Smith, sweating like four-year-colt,
went in again.
'tMr. Thompson, sir 1t may not be
lonely to you to prosecute me whom you
friend, for a commercial maintenance,
but-but-but--eh- it--Mr. Thomp-
son, sir It
''Oh, Smith, you talk like fool. l
never seen a more frst-class idiot in the
course of my whole life. What's the
matter with you, anyhow ?"
Mr.. Thompson, sir; said Smith, in
angony of bewilderment, ''it may not be
known that you prosecuted lonely man
who is not good for commercial period of
wedlock for some FIVE years, but
''See here, Mr.. Smith, you're drunk