The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1898-04-26
FLASHES OF FIN.

Amy (shyly)-So, In compassion, l.
kissed him. Mamie-For PHYS sakei
New York Journal.
do you know / don't think much OF
Mawson." you don't have to. You
can size Mawson up in two seconds"
brooklyn Life.
Reggy-Aw-Miss Guace, youah al-
ways In my mind, dontcher know Miss
Grace-GoOdness, that is worse than
living In flat.-Up-to-Date.
He-She told me was the light of
her heart. She-Then what? He
Well, her old man came down and put
the light out.-Columbus Journal.
Her Father-Have you heard my
daughter sing, young man? Edwin
(nervously)-Yees- sir-but in spite Of
that should like to have her, sir
Ally Slopcr.
Tommy-A lighthouse is n sign of
rocks isn't it, paw? Mr.. Fight de
ponds on whether you are referring to
the seashore or the drama.-Indian-
apolis journal.
Sallie De Witt-Do you play whist,
Mr. Lange? Willie Lange-Me play
whlstf Well, l don't think. Sallle De
Witte-Ah, true! l had forgotten that.
brooklyn Life.
mo, | never take the newspapers
home: I've n family of grown-up
daughters, YOU know" Papers too
full of crime. ehf" "No, too full of
bargain sales. Truth.
Edith She sings like a canary. Ber-
tha-Oh, no! canary begins to sing
when people commence to talk; people
commence to talk when she begins to
sing. Boston Transcript.
The Missing Evidcnce.-IIattie-
Maude doesn't show her age Mt all,
does she? la-No; but ycr can see
where she scratched 1t out of the fam
lily Chicago News.
Tommy-Paw, what sort OF n fighter
is Cyclone fighter?" Mr.. Figg-I
don't know much about fighters. but
suppose 1t is one who goes blowing
around.-Tndianapo Journal.
His oplnlon-"What are you doing.
.Iimmie?" "Readln' tn dictionary
through" "IIow do you like. itY' ooh,
some O. tn words is good, but others
hain't much sense in 'em."-Judge.
Does that baby of yours talk YETI"
Ills mother says he does; but If 1t IL
talk, then the kid has invented a new
code of slang that will make him IA
nous. '-Philadelphla North American.
Old Mlllion-My dear Miss Young
thing, If you'd only marry me, could
die happy. Miss Youngthing Why,
Mr.. Million, IL you were dying, I'd mar.
ry you In mlnute.-New York Weekly.
Ethel-Have you noticed how Lord
Slabsdes drops his aspirates? Pencil
ope-Oh, but that's notiiing to the way
he drops his vowels- papa says he has
got more than dozen of his i-o-u-s.-
Judge.
"Why does the baron look so glum7
I thought lie had just married an heir
ess.' $50 he has; but he specialized
few days after the marriage and lost
the better half of his wifc."-Flicgcnde
Batter.
Mr.. ROmanz-I tell you what, baby
brightcns up the house, and that's
fact. Mr.. Practlckcl-Ycs; we've, had
to keep the gas burning all night ever
since ours was bOrn.-Philadelphia
Record.
what in thunder do you mean" ask
cd the city editor, "by comparing the
air To- frozen quinlucT' 81 meant to
say" said the new reporter, with proud
humility. chat it was bitter cold
indianapolis Journal.
Dollic-T wonder why Love IS repro
scented always with wings1 Molic-
They are for him to use i'm flying out of
the window when Poverty comes In at
tho door. Don't you know that much?
Cincinnati Enquirer
"Do you think that glasses tend to
weaken the slghtT asked Col. Still,
wells friend And after pcnsive con.
sidcrallon the colonel replied ut de-
| ponds, sub, intIahly on how many You
| take" Washington tSar.
rs your sister Mt home. wlllie?"
| asked Wullic's sisters young man.
$50; heard her say she was engaged
| this afternoon but don't he frightened;
7 don't think IT'S n marrying engage.
mcnt" ITarpcr's BHznr.
Insclcnufic.-Flrs Arctic Explorer
I have always considered Columbus q
somewhat over-cstimatcd man. Second
Arctic Explorer Why? First Arctic
| Explorcr-He discovered America the
FIRST time he went to look for it.--Puck.
"Robinson, the electrician, is positive
ly the meancst man ever heard Of"
"IIows thatT' ole persuaded his wife
10 wear an electric seal sacque on he
/ ground that 1t would bc an advertise
ncnt for his business. Chicago News