Chicago eagle. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1889-19??, 1898-04-23
HAS 4 l;|sSjF'l
~. ~

uluu snc' we're you the best MANI!
"Naw-but l was the worst boy
Truth.
Ada-Jack says he wouldn't marry
the incest girl living. Dolly-pslav!
As IL Id have Philadelphia North
American.
Might BE Gratiied-lIe-wha IL he
singing? She-"Lct Me Like a Soldier
Fall ne-lf l only had Il gun.-Pick.
Me-Cp.
Bill-rm the greatest hand for dream.
Ing fish stories. Jill-That's probably
what makes you lie awake SO much
Yonkers Statesman.
Il was in an elevator once that fell
fifteen stories to the basement" Dear
me: how did it feely" Il never was
80 taken down in my life."-Truth.
Customer--ls this what you call a
strong cup of coffee? Waiter-Yes.
sure. You could hardly break one Of
dem cups wit a ax.-lndianapolis Jour.
nal.
You must be crazy" "Must?" THAT
Is the word. IL you won't be insane"
continued the lawyer for the defense,
81 see no way of saving your neck
Indianapolis Journal.
while Miss Fitz was away George
took her parrot" Anything happcn?"
Il don't know; she keeps the parrot
down cellar. aud the engagement Is
oif."-Lovc and Folly,
In the Asylum-First Patient (scorn,
fully)-Go on. You have wheels In
Sour head, Second Patient proudly)--
Of course l have! Aud they're chain
less wheels at that.-Puck.
Sunday School Teacher (reading to
class)-And some fell by the wayside.
Tommy becoming suddenly Interested
Il didn't know they rode bikes in tbose
Gnys,-ionkers Statesman.
Harry-Darling. | am unworthy Of
YOU. Mabel-Oh, Harry. II ycu ana
papa agreed on every other point as
well as you do on that how happy we
should be:-Illustrated Bits.
.x"would 1t be right to call house.
mover a shoplifter!" asked the nmbl.
fious boodler. Hardly" said Asbury
Peppers. lie Is apt to be e house.
.hrcaker. though" Enqu!r.
ar.
Advantages Of a College Education. -
She (who has just "come out')--What
does "Quo vadis" mean? lie famous
halfback, 'O7)-"What are you giving
NsT' OF something like that.-Brook.
lyn Life,
Lady Guest ito Enthusiastically !
Couldn't eat another hot roll, dear. !
don't know how many I've had already!
Freddy ,sitting opposite)--I do; you've
eaten eight! I've been countlng.--Bos.
ton Globe. ,.t..
The DUH hope you won't be offend
ed IL remind you that we are very
much In need OF the money? The
Dunned--Not at all. II anybody's 20.
ing to he offended, 1t Is YOURSELF .Bos.
ton Transcript.
Billy Blink boxing INSTRUCTOR Great
Scott! That was an 'Outer' yOu gave
me. But WHAT that In your glove.
Say? Amateur just learnins)-Oh.
that's n horseshoe-I put 1t there for
luck.-Tit.BIts.
Teacher-You are painfully slow
with figures, Tommy. Come. now,
speak up quickly. II your father gave
your mother a $50 bill and $50 bill.
what would she have? Tommy-A 1T.
-Harper's Bazaar.
Foxey-Did You send the Borcms q
card for your musical? Mrs. FOEey.-
Yes: how could get out Of II. Foxey
We'll, I'll tell BOrem that Smith Is 60
ing TO come. Borem owes him money
Philadelphia Record.
wallace--Funny how women give W
their piano playing and singing as sooi
rs they get married. Fery-But they
don't. That Is Just a canard started by
some woman to encourage matrimony
Cincinnati Enquirer.
Judge-The officer says you were
drunk and disorderly. What have 20,
10 say for yourself? The Culprit-
Drunk. perhaps. your honor, but no
disordcriy. A drunk Is always In orde
with me.--IndianapOlls Journal.
do you really mean to stand b!
what you say about retiring from pub
lie llfey" inquired the intimate fr!en'
just before an election. How do
know responded the politician. TN
no prophet" -Washington Star.
Il trust" she said, patronizlngly
shat you are true artist-that yo
coniine your efforts to an elevate
plane" "Assuredly, l do, madam,
was the reply. Il am frescoer and Ia
var!ably work with a ladder.
lngton Star.
In Virglnia.-'I reck'n yo' all ain
got no good.siz'd small hams, is 80?
asked Uncle Rastus. How DO 20
know we ain't;" asked the grocer
clerk. II didn't say yo' amt" said I'm
Gle Rastus, II done aXed Is yo| "-Ch
cago News.
Ue-I wonder what the meaning q
that picture is? The youth and III
maiden are In a tender attitude! Sh
oh, don't you see! He has just ash
ed her to marry him, and she Is ae
ccptng him. How sweet! What doc
the artist call the picture? He Qook.n
abouty-Oh, ! see! It's written on
card at the bottom, "Sold."-Tit-Bits.
Young man." said the Senator to tn
reporter, you have done me irrcpara
BILE harm" What have doneT ash
ed the bewildered reporter. II got i
largely on a temperance platform, a
you may recollect." "Yes, sir" "An