The evening times., 1898-05-17
MANNERS AND
THE LACKING
Questions of Behavior, New
and Old-Fashioned.
COndUct at RapIuet. Tables NJ OBJ
served hy Guests Who Were
Not Participants.

Table manners" said one, when the
question came up somewhere recently.
betrayed the breeding. or the lack of 1t.
| at once and conclusively. Probably this
is because 1t is SO difficult thing to cat
| we'll Human beings approach the brute
creation at the table. and banQueting
boards would. 1 am sure. be a good haunt
for the missing truth Poor Byron could
| never endure the sight of a woman at
her meals. young girl of my acquaint-
ance shared his weakness She declared
that she hesitated to accept the hand of
Charles Augustus. otherwise much be-
loved, because she should be obliged to
sit opposite him at the table. She felt
convinced that her affection could not
survive the sight. l saw her ten years at
ter their marriage Charles Augustus
blew his coffee to cool it and was not
quiet in partaking his soup. / looked at
his wife with sinking heart. but she
made no sign
manners are played out" said the
Philistine. give me good old-fashioned
behavior without any trimmings"
Manners without trimmings" answer
ed Fire Tender. would make the world
as noisy as Babel and as degraded as a
cannibal island in the South Sea By the
time you had been robbed and scalped and
sarroted and eaten you would long for
civilization once more. II is truism,
know. to say that kindness and manners
are exchangeable terms. but the most
trite sayings have way of voicing the
wisdom of the ages. The code of man.
ners of which you speak so contemptuous-
ly Is all that makes the world better than
lNa.. ls.., .t Al
rule excellent that men have named
it the golden We like TO be pleased. then
let us make others pleased with them
selves; We enjoy Appreciation, then let
us use bit of judicious praise now and
then: we do not fancy being disputed, SO
let smother our own denials and in
dignatio
The gentleman of the old school has
long posed for US as the embodiment of
the virtues courteous. and one hates to
prick 4 cherished bubble. but the fact re-
mains that those old fellows were clean
neither in person nor conversation, their
anecdotes We're coarse, their oathS-al-
most the badge of gentleman in the
old days-frequent and awful. their wine
bibbing stupendous. 1t is well that the
behavior of the period which has been
termed the golden age of manners is no
more. Those We're the days when men
caroused until they fell under the table,
full of liquor and empty of sense. when
any speech was welcome that would set
the table in roar and when no man
was brave enough to decline to stab or
shoot his fellow man to settle a point of
honor" Go further back and you fare
worse. Medieval heroes of song and
story ate with their merry men where the
foul banqueting hall was strewn with
rushes In which dogs fought for bones.
Ii is not likely that even SO elevated and
ethereal affair as Jupiter's functions upon
Olympus would pass muster today. Gan
nymede probably tipped a goblet of am
brosia over AphrOdite's best gown and
Cupid and Mercury without doubt quar-
relied over the wishbones or the biggest
olives. When We think that forks were
not used in the old days We think un-
utterable things.
"Forks?' says the Fire Tender who
has been doing violence to her own the
ories by looking over my shoulder.
People always talk about forks as If
they were the sign and seal of good be-
havior" and l remember now that our
dear lady of the shovel and androns
once persisted in eating with her knife
all through a formal dinner. because a
shy and untaught guest knew no other
way.
The cardinal points of politeness are
not easy to define. Laws orthodox in
London may be gross heresy in Paris.
The Frenchman wears his dress suit all
Y3c day; the Londoner only after
O'clock. And, after all, manners do not
make the man.
Aaron Burr was doubtless as courteous
an individual as ever played before the
fooHishts of nation, but we should
hardly hold him up model for aspir-
ing youth to follow.
And yet, says the Fire Tender peer
ing over the other shoulder. .'he set forth
one unyielding rule which would make
if followed. the path we tread little
less pebbly. Never ask nor answer an
impertinent question: That was all, but
it was much
Perhaps said our Quiet LITER, in a
tone meant to be ironical. perhaps you
can give US few simple rules of guild
ance."
"I can try said our Fire Tender
oblivious Of the sarcasm. in the first
place. 1 shall ignore all questions of out
ward etiquette. for that has little to do
with manner in the high sense of the
word. The highwayman often bows pro-
foundly to the lady whom ne is about to
relieve of her jewels: the pirate has been
known to apologize for the dire necessity
which made him insist that his captiyes
walk plank into the ocean. Mere exter-
nal polish is to man what veneer Is to
furniture. and quite as tawdry and false
You remember Byron's outlaw, who was
the 'mildest-mannered man that ever
scuttled ship or cut a throat But my
gentleman must be gentle: he must be
considerate; he must be natural not af-
fected: he must not talk shop; he must
not boast; he must have a gentle voice,
and he must not parade the faults of his
friends. The difference between Dives
and Lazarus, said somebody. is not
greater than the difference between a
gentleman and a caluminator'''
And what about the manner of a la
dy?" asked the Gentle Boy.
''Oh. that is another story" said the
T.iraT