Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1898-09-15
I DayenpOrt'S Difficulties


IN SOME respects Mr.. Davenport was
not a particularly nervous man
lie could listen to the lachrymose
strains of a barrel organ with equa-
nimity. and the gay rafting of piano
organ rather exhilarated him. More
over, his wife kept a macaw whose es-
pecial accomplishment was the imita-
ton of a circular saw tearing its way
through a knotty log. He did not
shun the society of his six-year-old
son. Yet as he stood before his shaw
ing mirror he looked anxiously for cor
rugations in his forehead and streaks
of silver at his temples, and was sur
.prised, in view of the fact that Pher-
melton had been practicing, to find
that no alarming change had taken
place in his appearance.
He was still wondering at this mex
plicable circumstance as he paced up
and down the platform of the little
suburban station, waiting for the
train that was to bear him I o his daily
grind in the city, and when he raised
his meditative head and saw before
him a new automatic weighing ma
chine that had been placed there by
an optimistic corporation he at once
dived into his pocket for the necessary
penny and adjusted himself carefully
and exactly on the center OF the bal
ance plate. The penny ratified down
through the internal economy of the
machine, and the dial hand spun
around and stood quivering at $50.
THAT settles it," said Mr.. Davenport,
triumphantly. Three pounds gone.
Phernetton and I are going to have
little talk together. I'm not going
to be reduced to an emaciated wreck
for any leather1unged pariah that ever
blew a horn"
A dog, a curly black retriever, with
q tongue several inches too large for
it's mouth, had driven Davenport from
his residence-20 minutes walk from
the city hall. 1t was then that he be-
came aware of the fact that he had
nerves. The animal at irregular in
tervals would wake in the night and
bay the moon or anything else he
took it into his head to bay. If he had
done this constantly and continuous
" Davenport would not have minded,
hut the banks would have intermis-
sions varying from five seconds to two
hours, and there were frequently
nights when he would not bark at all.
Then Davenport would lie awake ex-
pecting him to begin, and would rise
from his tumbled bed in the morning
with the bitter knowledge that he
might just as well have slept as not.
One night when the. dog had been
got up and stumbled to the dressing
table and took a revolver from
a drawer He understood that by i'm
memorial custom, as biazoned in the
pages of comic papers, he had the
right TO shoot the dog-or was 1t cats
whose slaughter was thus condoned
He examined the cylinder of the
weapon by a bar of light that slanted
up through the Venetian blind from
the street lamp and saw that 1t was
filled with cartridges; then he remem-
bered that tradition required shot
gun and that he ought to have been
wearing a tasseled rightcap; besides,
a pistol shot at night would be too
noisy.
He looked around the room for some
missile. He had no bootjack-in fact,
he had only a very hazy idea of what
n bootiack was. He would not have
hesitated 10 sacrifice his hairbrush if
its execution had been likely to prove
even painful, or his water bottle, II he
had been confident of his ability to
hurl it so far with precision. Then an
idea suddenly illuminated his gloomy
mind and he stopped and extracted the
casters from the four legs of his bee
Leaning far out of the window, he
threw one of the little iron wheels
with all his force at the black shape
that was jerking out its occasional
barks There was a crash Of broken
glass and the rattle of an iron chain.
The caster had gone through the base
ment window and the dog had retreat
ed to his kennel, from which refuge
he barked with renewed energy.
Davenport was poising himself for
another throw when a policeman
called grufiy out of the shadow to in
auire what the disturbance was about.
davenport counseled him to close his
usage and go back to bed. The dog
appeared to be listening.
1t ended by Davenport paying hve
COSlSs -
for malicious mischief and $25 with
costs for dIsorderly conduct, including
abusive language, and by his removing
to a house a little beyond the city
limits.
There he lived peacefully and hap
PLY until the congregation of the little
wooden church half block away &C
cumulated sufficient funds to buy q
bell, which the prideful sexton tolled
ON every legitimate occasion and
whenever lis time was not otherwise
occupied. At first Davenport was in
elined to like IL.
at puts me in mind of when I was
boy" he said to Mrs Davenport. Il re-
member how sweetly and softly the