The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1898-08-18
Weighs Heavily on the Actor
Farmer.
HE QUOTES SHAKESPEARE
Laborers Unworthy of Their Eirs-Un-
washed Artificers in the Livery of
Hell-Forced to Drive His own
Reaper, His Woes Began.

appears no other thing to me than a
foul and pestilent congregation Of va
pors." This is the plant Of Herr Band
mann. for he is in trouble. Not that IT
is a new experience for him to be in
trouble. but this is a new trouble and IL
weighs heavily upon the mind Of the
once actor-now farmer. To be in
trouble does not worry him-he has
learned to laugh at ordinary grief-but
this new brand of trouble has caused
him to quote more Shakespeare than is
his wont in the summer months. For
Herr Bandmann is doing his own har-
Nesting. He drives his own reaper and
does all his own farm work, for farm
hands are scarce and the laborers that
Herr Bandmann has experimental with
have not been worthy of their hire.
The first was one with forehead viii
famous low" and clad in the ~unning
livery of hell" He knew naught of har-
vesting, nor had he the capacity or
desire to learn. He could neither drive
a horse, milk a COW nor quote Shake
speare. Therefore, there was no place
for him on the ranch Of Bandmann and
he was sent upon his way.
Then came another lean, unwashed
artifcer." He promised much but proved
as worthless as the first. He Lacked
even the energy to clean the stable.
How use doth breed "a habit i'm a man"
This fellow had not worked for so long
hat he could not work for Bandmann
and even the long-suffering. much-en-
during patience of the erstwhile inter
prefer of the Bard Of Avon could not
overlook his faults. And he followed
after the first.
oft expectation fails, and most oft
there where most IL promises"
There came a third, "a most likely
looking man. He was big and strong,
but, alas. he proved to be more matter
and less art" He harnessed the horses
with the haines around their tails and
the breeding across their Percheron
chests. He frightened tho cows. He
shocked the grain wrong side up and
then he broke the reape so that IL could
not be run without repairs. He went,
as had gone the others, and then tho
actor-farmer was again alone. Time
was flying. 1t has a habit OF taking
wing at this time OF year. when grain
is yellow and ready to cut. Each day
was valuable. The harvest was great
and the reapers few. 1t was a time for
action.
There was but one thing to do. Herr
Bandmann must drive his own reaper.
He knew but little about reapeTs. He
admits that. himself. But it was a
case of dire necessity. so he bade his
wife and children to get out of earshot
aAAN Nv ~ W a AAAN W. shNA
les of the reaper all alone.
"A man / am cross'd with ADVERSE
ties. sOliloquized Herr Bandmann.
Misery ~acquaints a man with strange
bedfellows.' This was the most un-
kindest cut of ALL Three m"isbegotten
knaves' were they and now they're
gone. Something is rotten i'm the state
of Denmark The time is out OF joint;
O.. coursed spite that ever | was born to
set il right
Then he went to work. He hitched his
horses to the machine: climbed into the
scene-loft; tool a look at the drop cur
tain; saw that the stage setting was all
right: tested the trap; examined the
wings; took his position in rear center:
turned on the prosCenium lights and
gave the u for the first entrance.
lis my vocation. 'Tis no sin for a
man to labor at his vocation
Then the horses started and the stage
machinery was in motion. Down fell the
ripened grain and entered at right front.
making its exit in bundles from left
center This was labor. indeed.
Double. double toll and trouble.
Sunshine blaze while | make stubble."
For a time all went well. Then the
binder slipped a cog and several bun
dies made their exit. united. More
study of "A new role and then another
start. Smooth work for another act and
then more need for "A prompter. a mon
key wrench was manfully grasped and
vigorously applied. Just as the tension
was greatest and the why muscles of
the actor quivered with the strain. the
wrench slipped and the tragedian'S
hand was skinned by harsh and violent
contact with the bull wheel. Then ii
was all off.
Herr Bandmann gained his feet and
assume his most impressive stage at
sfVN,IA IL fn N y,a., Nhns AA- ~, yhn
cheers of the London multitude; il has
brought forth applause from stoical In
dian princes. IL has aroused enthusiasm
in Siam; IL has caused audiences i'm all
chimes TO render homage to this great
actor. But now no brilliant throng was
thrilled by IL. No court beauties were
there 10 clap their gloved hands in APP
proval. No monarch nodded satisfac-
ton. No ]potentate was there to bestow
gifts. The weary horses lowered their
heads. grateful for the welcome rest
and the offending reaper stood mani
mate in the field.
Then came that matches flash of the
eye; hat wonderful expression of scoTn:
that Incompatible shrug of the shoul-
ders-all familiar to those who have
seen the famous actor upon the stage.
The paint fairly blistered upon the reap
er and the grain in the vicinity shriy-
eled up as IL struck by a blast from "A
furnace. And not a word a been
spoken. But when the voice that has
moved thousands TO tears uttered the
words hat followed, ever the tired
horses knew that something serious mad
t~ranspired. And the voice was the voice
OF Daniel and it spake these words:
Now is the bitterness of my heart, in
deed
Made doubly bitter by this binder vile,
And all the clouds that Toured Ger my
head
By this foul reaper here are bursted.
Now Is my brow deep scared with griev-
Gus wrinkles,
My battered hands sore SCARED with
wounds galore,
My pean Of Joy is changed 10 lamenta-
tions.
My onward progress TO most woeful
halt.
This cursed thing hath busted its