Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1898-07-24
THE IDLER COMMENTS on THE
QUEER Expressions OF WOMEN.
SUBSTITUTES FOR SWEARING.
Their Explanations Are of the
wishy-wnshy Order and Very
Tame--sdvice to Girls Who visit
In the summer.
In the Summer

In the summer.
A woman is never so pitiful as when sh
attempts 20 swear. I don't mean 4
say that the unquiet sex are pitiful be
cause their language is shocking, but be
cause It IS so helpless and weak and In
expressive. Somehow their vocabular
OF Billingsgate needs strengthening up
1t is Kind OF wishy-washy. cold-te;
sort OF profanity that they use. and 1,
worse than none at all.
Now tho COMMUNICATIVE Chief. thouef
a pious woman. ana herself the president
OF three sowing circles, and doubtless
many semi-circles. has got temper OF
her own. and sometimes has recourse "a
a diluted form of matchmaking which
IS positively pathetic. She IS a sort of
apologize cusser. as 1t were. and her OK
pletives are as harmless and useless az
the spit-balls which the youngsters hur
81 one another. "oh, shucksr' is a favor
ito phrase of hers. and is meant to ex-
press volumes. TO me It never cid sig
nifty much save warning that the en-
orgetic dame is in bad temper and that
/ had best take the children out for a.
walk. Why ''shucks"-the most popular
Of cow-feed-should be invoked in times
Of trouble is more than can understand.
though I have known them to be very
offensive in a mattress, and 10 cause ones
bed 10 suggest nest OF porcupines.
But be that as 1t may, when hear "Oh.
shucks"' in our domestic atmosphere. l
look out for trouble, and generally find
It.
And when the great manipulation Of the
feather-duster becomes very. very. very
mad-as when she misses a tack with the
hammer and hits her finger instead
she goes even further than "shucks," and
eXclaims, Dog gone the nasty old thing!'
or PLAGUE take it?' These expressions
are like the warning Of a rattlesnake. and
when l hear them, / know that there are
breakers ahead. 1 know, too from long,
long. experience that / am going to be
held responsible for whatever caused her
20 utter the naughty words. If it hap
pens TO be the old case of hammer versus
finger, realize that the whole blame will
be laid upon me; that I shall hear all
sorts Of caustic remarks about helpless
men who hang around the house and let
their wives do all the manual labor.
'Dog-gone" this, and "dog-gone' that al
ways mean sorrow and reproach for me.
"Cuss take it?' is still another ominous
expression indicative of strong emotion
and an almost Irresistible impulse to say
a thousand times worse. or |
course. 1t doesn't mean anything, except |
that its inventor would like to break |
loose with some first-class masculine BIZ |
kind that makes things |
hum.
IL the Commander-in-Chief were not
very pious woman, much given TO send
ing flowers to convlcts and knitting SOCKS
for people who are too poor to buy shoes
after they get hosiery, would not throw
this crossword searchlignt on her, but
believe she can stand it anyhow, for she
IS not the only woman who swears. Once
only once-when she didn't know 1 was
about 1 heard her say something that
was horribly wicked. Bakers Dozen, our
ierDenuning, crawling. milk-destroyer,
'ecently discovered that my blacking-box
much saccharine matter and
1hen no one was looking he surrepti-
iously licked the contents thereof, and
greatly darkened his fangs in the course
# his repast. 1t wasn't a nice thing to
10. admit. No society man would lick
blacking-Dox, but Bakers Dozen didn't
i've continental about society, and he
elped himself freely, and what he
ouldn't get inside of himself he left on
lis face and clothing. When the benign
ispenscr OF knitted socks beheld his
lfantile depredations, she gave q. scowl
nd snort and Indignantly said, 1.-THE
ivlr'. Mind you, she didn't use an sc"
the word, and so the animus furandi,
S the lawyers would call it. was lacking.
lst what a "divil" is / cannot say; but
ave an idea.
And they tell me that across the street
ON us there is a woman who says all
nds of horrible things, and swears like
real. horrid man.
Realizing that it would never do TO rear
y children in the same neighborhood
it'll a desperate character like this, i in
,stigated the crimes charged against her.
rom reliable witnesses 1 ascertained =
at not many weeks ago company crop I.
q in on her very Unexpectedly and gave 9
arning that they were going TO apply :
emselves externally TO her supper. 1t +
Is absolutely necessary for the lady TO v
eet the unlooked-fOr visitation with an G
crease OF food for the evening meal. 4
d she had not minute To lose She O
rrled to her pantry, but on unlocking a.
Q door she heard a rustic of paper and A
scurrying quadruped II was a mouse. X
@ paused and did not enter. She wait el
then she opened the door again. Once "
no she heard the rustling OF paper and b.
, footsteps OF mice. Again she wait r.
and finally made another charge The "
,ments were precious; the unseen mouse OF
S formidable, and the woman was %
fully mad. Her patience gave out ~
last, and in a moment OF frenzy-let !"
hope OF pardonable frenZy-she called !"
mouse a "darned little divil" 1t was q q,
this offence against humanity, this =
lation of our sacred language, that 90
neighbors backed their ears at her and -,
used 10 send her any OF their dessert 80
Sundays. But j freely forgive the 70
fame woman. What she said was "
ribe. but her vindication may come ca
oe dav and history will view her in =