The Wadsworth dispatch. [volume] (Wadsworth, Nev.) 1892-1899, 1898-02-12


80 hard IT hurts.
The hest friend of the newspaper man
is the person who gives him live item.
One who claims to know says that the
yo"ling OF cats at night means more
cats.
The beauty contest will he wound mp
this week and after that the exposition
commissioners will he wound up.
An exchange says that when woman
passes another woman on the street that
she does not like, her mouth gels in he
same shape as it does when she is cut
ting the leaves OF a magazine.
The beauty contest is raising rumpus
IN Winnenlucca and the irate females
are invading the sauctuin OF the Silver
State, threatening to snatch the editor
baldheaded but he calmly replies that
he is already in that condition aud
smiles complacently.-Appeal.
American genius rises supreme to the
call OF necessity. The bridge is about
completed and will soon be ready for
traffic OF all kinds. The young men aud
maidens who figured they would have
monopoly of it as Il lovers lane and star
gazing rendezvous may see their fondest
hopes 20 glimmering when they peruse
THIS. They will find they are not the only
coupling pins in the Wadsworth yard.
The question that has been agitatinY.
the matronly minds is how baby carri-
ages can be gotten over, the idea OF
trundling baby carriage up 20 feet Of
steps on one side and down 20 feet OF
steps OH the other side is Hlanacing to
"manna $ morning glory" Ii ma after
STARTING the baby carriage down should
meet an Easter bonnet ON the steps and
let 20 all holds, as usual, then OF course
there would he job for the undertaken.
The matrons have solved the problem.
They are now in the procession. Wads-
worth genius has found the way ont.
Asst. Master Mechanic FOrney, the ia.iies
figured. might have life interest in "A
half dozen cherubs himself some day,
and his aid WAS easily enlisted. Trust
the ladies for arriving at solution.
The blue prints OF the new conveyance
are in course OF construction. Imagine
an inclined plane, moving slowly, gently,
up on one side, over aud down on the
other side of the bridge, u sort of intra
mural railroad, worked by an air engine
located in the Southern Pacific shops,
and run with numerous belts and gear.
You may not have noticed them but the
suspension rods of the bridge are hollow
TO conduct the cou, pressed air, which is
the motive power OF this new baby car
rier. When the apparatus is complete
and painted red, all that the person NTH
the baby carriage has to do is to push
the vehicle with its lovely burden onto
the platform provided for the purpose,
including himself or herself, whichever
the pusher may he, and turn . email
lever. In an instant, even In the twink
ling OF an eye, will they BE- gently up
lifted, sailed over the bridge and dropped
softly down on the other side. This
device was adapted unanimously against
one offered by crusty bachelor. The
old duffer wanted them to make ppeu-
matic tube ont OF old engine stacks but
fat lady figured it ont that he had a
grievance against her and there was
likelihood oi her getting stuck on riytt
some day in tile middle Of the pipe and
being srnothered before she could be
rescued.
The disappearance OF SNOW brought in
to prominence all the old tin cans, hoop
skirts, crockery, swila. old hose of both
kinds, bottles, oobbles, ashes, ,iron-hoops.
dead cats. defunct dogs and thousand
other like things that make such un-
slightly litter on streets. A walk along
the avenues after n meal is almost pro-
ductive "f an involuntary attempt to
create vacuum in one's stomach
Before We had such lot OF old moss
backs and cranks AZ county commission
ers NV ~ have now committee of
"A number Of our solid business men had
charge Of the matter and pressed gang
OF hubOs into service to help clean up
the streets. They handled the street
cleaning proposition az conscientiously
and as thoroughly a. they did their deal