davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1898-12-15
The Right Remedy Will
Danish it Forever.

If you would forever be rid of
the aches and pains, and some
times the tortures produced by
Rheumatism, you must take the
right remedy. Those who con-
tinue to suffer are relying upon
remedies which do not reach their
trouble. The doctors treatment
always consists of potash and
mercury, which only intensity the
disease, causing the joints to stiff
en- and the bones to ache, besides
seriously impairing the digestive
organs.
rheumatism is disordered state of
the blood, and the only cure for it is a
real blood remedy. Swift's Specific Is.
S. S. goes down to the very bottom of
all diseases of the blood, and promptly
cures cases that other remedies can not
reach.
Mr.. Z. K. S. Clinkenbeard, promi-
nent attorney of Mt. Sterling, Ky,
writes:
1.-TWO years ago was great sufferer
from Rheumatism. / had tried every
remedy could hear of except 5. 5. S.
/ had been to Hot Springs, Ark, where
l remained for twelve weeks under
treatment, but Experienced no perma-
nent relief, and returned home, be-
lieving that would be sufferer as
long as l lived. At time when my
pains were almost unbearable, l
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1898-12-15
A Funny Story.
/ was his own shoe.

The following story is told Of a
congregation Of negroes, who were de-
voted 10 their Jealous and enterprs-
ing pastor During one Of bis re-
vlvals, TO impress the congregation
while telling the story Of the Holy
Ghost, appearing in the form OF
dove, he engaged small colored boy
to, at an opportune time in the story,
let loose live dove from a hole in
the ceiling just over the rostrum.
The device was successful for several
nights and the congregation was very
much mystifed and impressed, and 1t
succeeded in drawing large number
TO the church. One night, while the
crowd was intently listening to the
story, and it was reaching the climax
where the dove was to appear, they
were startled by whisper which re-
verberated through the church I'm
Gle John, De cat done eat up de Holy
Ghost. " The congregation smiled and
the smile was increased TO a roar Of
laughter when, in the same whisper,
came, Mus let down de cat p
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1898-12-15
The Fat Man Gets Even.

The Builalonlans were coming home
from somewhere or other. They were
all in the same sleeper. One of the
party, the fattest, turned in early.
The other. did not feel sleepy so they
spent an hour or two in the pleasant
diversion of keeping the fat man wide
awake.
The fayorite method was to wait
until the fat man was doing, and
then throw something in the berth
At ten o'clock one Of the party care
lessly tossed in a shoe. 1t was a
good, big, honest shoe, and it Int the
fat man in the tenderest part Of his
anatomy, his stomach.
He had borne 1t all good-natured-
ly before that. But he drew the line
there SO he opened the car window
and quickly dropped the shoe out in
the snow. The others had stopped
their pranks, and the fat man went
to sleep with a peaceful smile on his
face, comforted by the thought that
he was good and even with somebody.
He was.
II was his own shoe
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1898-12-15
NEW VOL. 34.---NO. 7.
Available Testimony.

A story told by Major Menzies is
being circulated through the Offices in
the State House, of a Vincenues lawyer
who appeared for the defendant in
trial by jury and put on the witness
stand boy from whose testimony he
expected to gain great deal. To the
confusion Of the attorney, the story
told by the boy was greatly to the
detrimeut OF the defendant, and the
attorney set to work to show that the
boy was worthless.
What is your occupation >" he
asked the boy.
Il work on my fathers farm, the
witness replied.
You don't do much but sit around,
do You ?"
We'll, l help my father"
But you're worthless, aren't you ?"
was the attorneys decisive question.
Il don't know whether am or not,
retorted the witness warmly.
Then the attorney took another
tack. Your fathers worthless man,
isn't he 90
well, he works about the farm"
The attorney here fastened an eye
which cleaned with triumph on the
jury and nailed the boy with a glance
from the other and said
Isn't it true that your father
doesn't do enough work to prevent his
being called worthless ."
The boy had chafed under these uu-
pleasant questions, and, summonlng
his courage, he SAID loudly, IF you
want to know so bad whether my ia
theirs worthless, ask him there be is,
on the Jury"
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1898-12-15
Our New Climates.

We have also annexed new eli
mates.
The Philippines, as all travellers
agree, have a climate in which man
from the temperate zone can keep
alive only with the greatest difficulty,
and can keep well only by never for
an instant failing to guard his health.
Malaria is the lot Of all who dwell
there. Tropical feyers, tropical
plaques such as smallpox and leprosy,
thrive and prey upon natives and
newcomers.
The air is hot as well as moist, and
only the most rigid comers from tenn
perate climates are able to resist the
universal, innate and incurable idle
ness.
OF Hawaii we already know much
"a gorgeous beauty Ofsky and earth,
paradise in which turks leprosy.
In both these domains the only
possible labor that. is commercially
productive is contract labor not dis
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1898-12-15

ize the perils of the new path, so tena-
cious were they Of the free institutions
We SO hardly won and have constantly
to struggle to maintain, that they re-
sisted the allurements of glory, the
appeals of popularity. 1t would have
been so much easier to swim with the
current. 1t would have been so much
more comfortable to fall into line with
the procession. But conscience for
babe and they stood fast.
Let US inventory the new "glOry"
that we may see at a glance just what
areas, peoples, resources and climates
have been added to the Republic to
give it title to the name of empire.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1898-12-15

tinguishable from the harshest slave
ry. This fact is due chiefly to the
climate.
In Cuba the semi-tropical climate
makes conditions tolerable only by
the acclimated by inheritance. Resi-
dence all the year round in the Gu
ban cities and plains is impossible for
the white races. The heat and the
diseases bar the white laborer.
Porto Rico, called "the most health
full of the Antilles Is a delightful
winter resort. But white men from
the United States will never live
there longer than for the brief winter
season.
As whole the new climates added
to the long.established American va
rieties are not attractive to the
healthy, vigorous white races. These
races will not labor in them, will not
thrive in them, will not voluntarily
live in them. And they stunt and
weaken and ravage and render indo-
lent and savage the native races.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1898-12-15
Bigger-But Better ?

Yes, it is undoubtedly bigger, a
greater United States But Is 1t a
better United States?
With these areas IN the Aslat'c
hemisphere come 8,OOO,Ooo OF Aslat-
ics-yellow, brown and black. With
all these areas near and far come peo-
pies alien in blood, alien in thought,
allen in habits, customs, manners. a
few Of them in the West Indies are
somewhat akin to our home negroes
who constitute such menaclng race
problem. But even that kinship Is
slight, remote.
And these new people will be
Americans, citizens Of the United
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1898-12-15

ooh, if ! were lucky enough to call
this estate mine, I should be happy
fellow, said a young man.
"And then ?" said a young friend.
why, then, Id pull down the Old
house and build palace, have lots Of
prime fellows about me, keep the best
wines and the finest horses and dogs
in the country
"And then ?"
Then I'd hunt and ride and smoke
and drink and dance and keep open
house and enjoy life glOriously."
"And then p
why, then, I suppose, like other
people I should grow old and rot care
for these things"
"And then ?"
why, then, I suppose, in the course
of nature should leave all these pleas
ant thiDgs-and-well, yes-die' T.
"And then ?"
"Ob, bother your 'thens T ! must
be of.
Many years after the friOnd was
sccosted with:
God bless you l owe my happi-
ness to you p
How"
by two words spoken in season
long ago-'And then : "
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1898-12-15
from the New York World.
SURVEYING THE ErPIRE.

The terms Of peace are no longer
matters of speculation. They are ac-
complished facts. We now know ex-
actly the present metes and bounds OF
our colonial empire, il the Senate shall
agree with Mr.. Mckinley.
Hawaii became ours dming and be-
cause of the war. Porto Rico is ours
absolutely. Cuba is ours under
protectorate. Guam in the Ladrones
is ours. The Philippines and the Sulu
group-more than fourteen hundred
islands in all-are ours. One Of the
Carolines is ours and the entire group
may De bought.
There is no question about it, the
United States are bigger, are greater,
for these acquisitions far and near. 1t
is impossible to deny that from the
purely material standpoint, from the
standpoint of dominion, Of power, of
glory, this nation is greater since it
has become the United States of Amer
lea, Asia and the many islands Of
many seas.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1898-12-15
Goodbye,
Rheumatism.

CHANGED to read your advertisement
and was impressed with it so much
that l decided to try S. S. s. | took
eleven bottles and was entirely relieved
OF all pain and cured permanently.
When ! began to take S. S. S. | was
unable to sit or stand with any ease.
and could not sleep. Since taking the
last dose | have had no return Of the
rheumatism. and / take great pleas
ure in recommending 5. s.. S to any
one who has the misfortune to suffer
with this disabling disease"
S.S.S. is the only cure for Rheu-
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1898-12-15

A few days ago 4 young woman was
rambling along one Of the roads. She
was dressed snartly, she thought. and
when she met a small bare-legged ur-
chin carrying birds nest with eggs
in it she did not hesitate to stop him.
you are a wicked boy" she said.
How could you rob that nest? No
doubt the mother is now grieving for
the loss Of her eggs."
"Oh, che don't care, replied the mr.
chin. edging away "sbe is up on your
hat.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1898-12-15
The Population.

In annexing lands we annex poPu-
lations also. These are as follows:
Cuba-l,5 100000; 65 per cent white.
Porto Rico-l,O 100000 60 per cent
white.
Hawaii-90,OOO; 25 per cent white.
Philippines-8,O 100000; mostly ORR
entails.
Sulus, Carolines and Ladrones-
Mainly barbarous.
Roughly, we annex about ten mill
ion people, of whom 80 per cent be-
long to more or less inferior races.
The Resources of Our New Possessions.
The resources Of our annexed terri
tory, like their area and population,
have never been calculated with ac-
curacy.
Cuba produces sugar, coffee, tobac-
co, cocoa, cotton, indigo, rice and
fruits. She has forests rich in rare
woods, and mountains abounding in
iron, coal, copper, marble and prec-
ious stones. The forests and the
mines have been scarcely at all worked.
Only 10 per cent. of the arabic
lands are now under full cultivation.
Seven per cent is wholly unreclaimed
and 4 per cent. of the islands area IS
unexplored forest.
The imports Of the island were
roughly estimated for 1894 at $5O,-
100000 and the exports at $95, ,OOO,-
900.
Porto Ricos products are substan-
italy the same as those of Cuba. In
1890 the island imported $l8,OO0,00O
worth of goods and exported $4,000
900.
Hawaiian exports consist almost
wholly of sugar, It's exports amount
to $15,OOO,OOO year its imports to
$7,OOO,OOO.
The Philippines produce sugar,
hemp, tobacco and copra. Imports
about $Il,OO0,OOO a year exports
about $2O,OOO,00O.
The Sulns produce teak and sandal
wood No statistics of commerce ex-
ist.
The Carolines are inhabited by
Malay fishermen and produce nothing
Of value. The Ladrone, are in ike
condition.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1898-12-15
PRIVATE SALE
OF
Valuable Real Estate.

The undersigned offer for sale, pri-
vately, the valuable Limestone Farm
known as the "Hte Farm, near Lee
town, jefferson county, containing 32l
acres, 30 acres of which is good Timber.
This farm is improved by good Dwell
ing-House. Barn, Granary, COrncrib and
other necessary buildings. Nearly all
fencing is wire or plank. Is watered by
stream of springwater running through
the farm. Is located three miles from
KearneySville by turnpike, three miles
from Shenandoah junction and four
miles from Charlestown. Altogether
this is one of the most desirable Grain
or Stock farms in the county. Land
lord share of growing crop of 100 acres
of wheat will go to purchaser. Call on
DANIEL GETZENDANNER,
or JOHN p. KEARFOTT,
Kearneysville, W. Va.
Dec. 8. lS9S-tf.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1898-12-15

The proverbisl load Of wood is
coming in to the country editor. One
who seems more fortunate than the
rest says
"We return thanks for a load Of
wood received on Wednesday last.
The fret FIRE we made with it burned
down our Office. We got $1,000 in
surance thereby. Thank heaven for
wood e.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1898-12-15

matism, which is
the most stubborn
of blood diseases.
1t is not intended
to give relief only,
but by completely
neutralizlng the
acid condition of
the blood it force.
out every trace of
the disease and
of If forever If is
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1898-12-15
A Good Story.

Here is story told of Patrick
O'Mara, a private in the Ninth regu-
lars: Not long ago he went to the
colonel, who was severe discipli-
marian, for two weeks leave Of abb
sence.
"WeIl, said the colonel, what do
you want a two weeks furlOugh for p
Patrick answered my wolfe Is
very sick, and the children are not
well, and if ye didn't mind, she would
like to have me home for a few weeks
to give her bit Of assistance.
The colonel eyed him for few
minutes, and said Patrick. might
grant your request, but l got letter
from your wife this morning saying
that she didn't want you at home
that you were nuisance and raised
the devil whenever you were there.
She hopes I won't let you have any
more furloughs.
That settles it. suppose l can't
get the furlough, then p said Pat.
mo; I'm afraid not, Patrick it
,,.o,,ll,'. ba ,-aII for mo n do so nm
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1898-12-15

Aunt Fannie Is an old colored
woman who came to Atlanta from the
country. She gave the following ex-
perience Of city life recently:
I'm done wild de city I don't
want no mo er it. It's too much fer
me Wy I got on one er dem cyars
dat runs wild de broomstick, en- 70 I
rid two miles heah come another cyar
on de same track en- We had a COL
lsgience Den tried ter lite my pipe
wild one er dem electric lights, en- it
knocked me six ways fer Sunday
Den hadn't been heah long 70 one
er ny family got in trouble wild de
police en- wuz tux down in de control
wagon En- de Judge sed he'd give
him $40 en- 80 days, but he never
give no $40 'tall-des de 80 days,
dat's all I tell you. desc electric
lights is mighty bright, en- de control
wagon may be on de right line, but es
fer me, l gwine back whar dey burns
kerosene en- ride ter meetin in OK
carts-dat whar gwine +
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1898-12-15
Purely Vegetable

and one thousand dollars reward
is offered to any chemist who can
prove that it contains a particle of
mercury, potash, or any other
mineral ingredient. S. S. S. is
the only blood remedy guaranteed
to be absolutely free from mineral
mixtures.
Books sent free by Swift Spe-
cific Company, Atlanta, Ga.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1898-12-15

Now, Bobby, you write list Of the
toys you want, and we will send it up
the chimney to dear old Santa Claus. "
"0h, no, mamma f; let me send him
a list of the things I don't want"
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1898-12-15

A young man in town went to see
his best girl. After a long silence
she asked him what be was thinking
about. He said-"I was thinking
about tn. same thing you were." As
quick as thought she replied-"rll
slap your mouth if you try it.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1898-12-15

Don't keep putin matters of
And setting dates ahead
Tomorrow sun will find
Hundred thousand of us dead;
Don't think because yer feelin well
You won't be sick no more
Sometimes the reddest pippin hez
A worm-holc to the core.
Don't let KILN habit grow
Upon you soft an still
Because you think thet you ken
Throw it from you ct yer will
Now there's time ter quit it when
Yer feelin' brave an stout
You've lost the chance to do it when
The
Out.
I'd ruther die with nothin then
To hev ther people say
Thet he'd got my money in
A robbn', graspin way;
No words above my restin' place
From any tongue or pen
Would have deeper meanin than
He helped his fellow men. y
So ef you hev fortune an
You want to help the poor
Don't keep a stavin' off until
You get little more;
Ef you're upon miser's track
You better turn about
Your record keeps on burnin' when
The
Light
Goes
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1898-12-15
When the Light Goes Out.

Tho yer lamp of life is burnin'
With a clear an steady light,
An it never seems to flicker,
But it's alters shinin' bright;
Tho it sheds it rays unbroken
For a thousand happy days
Father Time is ever turnin' down
Their wick that feeds ther blaze.
So it clearly is yer duty
If you've got thing ter do,
Ter put yer shoulder to ther wheel
An try to push her through;
Ef yer upon wayward track
Yer better turn about
You've lost the chance to do il when
The
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1898-12-15
Ellen WeIshans.

Silk for Drapery or Cush
ions. Linen Collars and Cuffs and
Y many useful articles, you can find at
ELLEN WELSHANS'.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1898-12-15
The Extent Of Our Colonies.

The islands we take number more
than 2,OOO-they have never been
counted, and still less have they been
accurately surveyed. But the best sta
tistics available yield the following re-
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1898-12-15

Cuba is about the size of New York,
Ohio or Alabama.
Porto Rico is little smaller than
Connecticut.
The Hawaiian Islands are somewhat
smaller than New Jersey, the largest
island, Hawaii, being about twice the
size of Delaware
The Philippines cover land space
about as great as New York and the
New England States together. Luzon,
on which Manila is situated, is not
much smaller than New York.
All the new dependencies together
are about equal in area to the New
England States, New York, Pennsyl-
vania and New jersey.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1898-12-15

The popularity of this cry, the di-
rectness of its appeal to the strong
passion of patriotism, makes the sin
cerity and unselfshness of those who
opposed empire" stand out the more
clearly.
They, too, were animated by love of
country, by pride in its basic institu-
tions Of liberty and equality and self
government. So keenly did they real
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1898-12-15

We have not yielded to this dream
of"glory." But We cannot deny that
it is alluring, tempting. We cannot
but frankly admit that the masses of
those who have urged this new depart
ure, this revolution in policy that is
constitutionally so radical and histor-
ically so profoundly important were
honest and sincere.
Love of country, pride in the ag-
grandizement of their nation among
the nations of the earth, the thrill at
the thought of the flag they loved
floating over distant peoples and dis
tant lands-such were the sentiments,
the natural sentiments, which anima-
ted them.
True, there were also mercenaries
the place-hunters, the prestige
grabbers, the politicians looking for
new campaign cries to win votes and
elections, those who wished to distract
attention from corruption and mis-
government at home. But the masses
that rallied to the cry of Empire"
were caught by the dream of glory.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1898-12-15

Speak kindly to ther woman
Who is workin' for yer praise,
The same way ez you used ter
In those happy courtin days;
She likes appreciation
Jest the same ez me an you,
An it's only right an proper
That yer give her what is due.
Don't wait until her lamp of life
Is burnin dim and low,
Afore yer tell her what yer
Orter told her long ago
Now's ther time ter cheer her up
An put her blues to rout-
You've lost the chance to do it when
The
LIGHT
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1898-12-15

Every article of clothing a lady needs
can be had here: Linen Collars and
Cuffs, Just new; large size Hose for
summer for large limbs, every kind OF
Hose. Fancy, Black, Brown and White
nice Black Dress Skirts and colored
Veilings of different kinds. Wrappers,
Percale and Calico; elegant Skirt Sup
porters for heavy skirts, Linens for table
stamped and plain; Shirt Waists from
d TO rs cents, Handkerchiefs from to
30 cents. a good summer Corset, large
size so cents Napkins, white and col
cred Silkateen in different colOrs, call
and see them; Boiling by the yard, white
and black Belts, Leather Mitts, nice for
Morpan's Grove for Ladies and Misses.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1898-12-15
That Dollar

q, ,,y,s .au bHy more ana o'IHg
u ,s..,,,,SaR5 than ii HsVer did SINCE
...''J J,T,, marx waS mVeHted, y
u. o. 1.t i mi5 eur dollar Streteh-
iqg ;aL.tS.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1898-12-15

-. .,,agrce the greatest gathering
We Ns..hg a.. merchandise we have ever
O.. as'.'-s as,,s .~ collecting for our patrons.
...,, .,,t.r, fresh and new, SparkIing
a..'! .I. .'.'r b-.,h,es, fashion thoughts OF
WI. =. ...,r ,.. You viii delight in our new
8. .' S...g>e j, anticipates your every
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1898-12-15
- \. NICK. WILSON,
Graduate Dentist
sHgpHERDsrowN' W, Va

..,,e,tcs used for painless
Local ana ,f teeth. satisfaction guar
.r-,ed.
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1898-12-21

WANTED-EXPERT COLLECTORS
AND SOLICITORS; bond required
MASSACHUSETTS, MUTUAL COL
AGENCY, $50 Banigan Building. dl'-5t'