Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1898-08-21

beat me. Then Is the the case
of that bar who ~ to have den
about mile west of this. In MS goin'
and comm he had made a reg lar pain.
same es sheep. / got spring gun en-
the path, but he walked around IL |
sot big trap and kivered it al up.
but he jumped over it. Then laid out
fur two whole nights and watched tur
him, but he never showed up. | was
powerful mad when / went home. and
the old woman sees it and says:
Its no use, Zeb. That thar bar
has got fun in him and is iaugnin at
you. He's probably brother of the
one who got cur hawgs. Better jest
let him CO.
But l wouldn't do it, said Zeb. Il
made up my mind I'd hev the laugh
on him befo' l got through. Next Gay
/ took the spade and went back, and
at a proper place on the path dug a
pit ten feet long and about as deep.
| put in all day at it. and Rivered it
over with sticks anu leaves and dirt,
and upon my soul nobody could tell
that I'd bin diggin'. ! was deao-suan
that ole bar would come along and go
PUNK TO the bottom of the pit, and be-
twixt my Eachache and thinkin of hin
| didn't sleep much that night jest
as soon as arter breakfast l was cH,
but when | got to the pit IL WIS the
same as | had left it. That made me
bilin' mad, and started UP the path
to the cave to rout the varmint out. l
wasn't keepin' the lookout | should,
and all of a sudden the critter jumped
out on me- | was so skeart that l
dropped my rife and turned and run,
and he follered close behind"
And you outran him, of course?" l
said as the old man paused and looked
sheepish.
~ was skippin' ahead of the oritter."
he slowly replied, when | come 10 that
pit, Befo the Lawd, but | was so rat
lied | dun forgot all about il, and the
fust thing | kIowed l broke through.
The fall night broke my neck and
mebbe it was ten minints befo' l know
ed where | was. Then | locked up 10
find that ole bar lCokin' down, and IL
he wasn't reg'larly laughin may
never eat another yam! why, san,
his sides was sh3kin', and his mouth,
went clear back to his ears, and when
| knowed how he felt | had to laugh
with him. He hung around fur half
an hour and then disappeared, ana 1t
was away arter noon befo get out o
the pit. | waS the maddest man In all
Tennessee, but | didn't hunt that bar
no nc. He'd got the joke On me, and
even though | was mad | had TO give
him a fair show.i
And you have ether instances?
"Wen, sab, 1 might tel you about
the bar who hid IN the house here
three or four years ago. The critter
had bin hangin around the place FUR
three CT 10 months, but couidn
never git a shot at him, nor would he
put his foot into a trap. lie was jest
full Of tricks. and two or three times.
when | was sitting on the steps and my
gun wasn't loaded he'd show up ana
Geek his eyes and put en- grin. lie
knowed | was after him, buD he was
determined to take It as joke. 1
tried to pizen him, but he left the
meat fur the foxes. | got dawgs AFTER
him. but he woulnd't take it serious. l
had seven traps out around the house
one night. ana that varmit come and
tipped over the rain-bar1 and gCI
away all right. One day the old wo-
man went visitin. ard six men Of us
got together and beat up the country
fur that bar. We sighted him twice
and then lost him, and when right
come we had to give it up. Men the
ole woman was taklin. about 1t at sup
per and | says:
"'Tve started in fur bar, and III
hev that varmint If | heV to hunt the
State over
"'No use, she says. All his action5'
go to show that he's a funny bar AMI
he'll be suah to come out on top
"Arter supper / went to tinker
hoop on the rain-barl, and the olo
woman sot down On the dCah step
with her pipe. Purity soon she gin an
awful yell, and as | locked around she
was tumblin head-over-heels. And
befo' the Lawd. sab, If that ole ba'
wasn't standin' right in the dcah, and
he was GRIMM and shakin', and it was
all of three minits befc' he took
stroll fur the woods and stepped OF as
cool and calm as you please!'
But how did he come to be in the
doorway" l asked.
"Why, sab, when we was huntin' him
on the mounting he jest walked into
the house and got under the bed and
he didn't come out till he got good and
ready The old woman didn't know OK
him till he touched the back q her
neck with his cold nose. Yes, sab, hid
right in my house. and stood in the
doah and laughed at me- and drat my
hide if even the coons and pOssumS
didn't chuckle over IL fur months ar
forwards. I'm sayin' and contendin'
that bars are chuck-full O fun, and
I'm almost believin' that If they had
proper company fur six months you'd
hear EN- tellin' jokes to each ether
and laughin' like human bein'8.'