The Roanoke times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1897-1977, 1898-01-05
PUT TT ON BURDETTE.
HOW THE HUMoR;sT WAS MADE A
SCAPEGOAT IN AMHERST.


Hotel Man Was n Good Fellow, and He
Had 60 he Saved at Any Cost.
Tho discussion about the sale of liquors
Mt tho Princeton inn recalls an amusing
experience that had in u strictly temper
ancc college, town n dozen or moro years
ago, said man at the University club.
Amherst was tho college, and for several
years it had been IL prohibition town. The
townspeOplo made n great effort to enforce
the excise law very strictly, and there were
times when they accused the college men
OF not being in sympathy with them. 1t
Is quito possiblcthat tho accusation had
some foundation in fact. There AFRO occa
sions, rs every college man knows when
excise law must not be permitted to OBJ
struct hospitality.
"Wo had u small class society in NV
senior year which was composed Of several
men from each of the regular fratcrnities
ana IL made point of entertaining mt sup
per such distinguished visitors as camc to
Amherst with tho reputation of being good
fellows. Bob Burdettc tho humorist was
the last guest of tho club. Burdctto Dolly
cred lecture Mt Amherst, and our senior
society intinatcd that We should feel our
selves highly honorcd by his presence Mt n
little supper after the lecture Burdcttc
t'N'i' PtNN WIN tiisib tilc WOULD DN
ms, and SO tho supper was ordered mt 1, hotel
then very popular with tho students. Tho
steward of tho society was ordered to sec
that reasonable amount of champaagnc
should 10 near ut hand in case Burtlcttc
or any ono else was tempted to drink n
glass.
He was instructed not to compromise
the proprietor of tho hotel in any way he
cause he was good fellow. and n convic-
ton of violating the excise law would
bring heavy fine and imprisonment on
him. When tho supper was served. Bur-
dctte was on hand, and so was tho cham
pagne. For obvious reasons the hotel
walters wcro not asked to servo tho wine
When bottlcwas called for, tho man who
sat ut tho head of tho table opened tho
folding doors behind him, stuck his hand
through and brought back bottle No
one know who had placed it in his hand or
where tho wine had been purchased, except
tho member of the society who had acted
as the steward for this occasion.
1T was pleasant littlo supper Bur-
dotto told us some stories that wcrc now.
and wo told him some that hc had never
heard. incidentally the champagne disap-
pcarcd in tho way it was intended to 20,
and every ono supposed that nothing fur
thcr would be said about it, Burtletto left
Wv IL 'oi oiS NSSp lllc llcNb 1llOrDlDG, ana
u week later the men who had entertained
him wcro surprised to receive subpnnas to
appear ut tho trial of the hotel keeper on
the charge OF violating the excise law 1t
developed later that Il livery stable keeper
who had grudgo against tho hotel man
had given tho information on which the
complaint was based. No wcro very much
bored about tho affair, and it was decided
that tho hotel Keeper must DO protected.
AS II matter of fact, he was really inno-
cent.
when tho case was called the first wit
ness summoned was member of the So
cicty who hailed from Chicago. Tho prose-
cutor learned from him that supper had
been given ut this hotel on tho evening
mentioned in tho complaint to Mr.. Bur
dcttc.
WAS any vino scrvcd?' asked the pros
ccutor.
"'YcS'
'''What was itY'
." 1t looked md tasted very muck like
champagne
"'Whcro did it come from?'
why, from behind tho folding doors,
answered the Chicago man innoccntly.
Who put it thcrc?'
" don't know Perhaps Mr.. Burletto
did
Nipticr Scniur wills cailcu, ana he
couldn'6 testify definitely about tho cham
paenc.
''Who brought it to the hotcl?' asked
the prosecutor
" Perhaps Mr.. Burtlcttc did, was his
reply.
Ten moro seniors werc put on the
stand, and as each ono in turn suggested
chat l'urdctto WAS tho wicked ono tho
smiles i'll the courtroom broadcncd and
the prosecutor got angry. by persistent
questioning he brought out the fact that
ut least II dozen bottles of champagne had
been cmpticd ut this supper and from the
evidence u guilclcss listener might have
concluded that Burtlcttc had not only
brought tho champagne but had drunk
most of it. Every senior who testified
seemed TO be anxious tn do what hc could
TO clear up the mystery. and each one gave
his evidence in IN ingenious fashion
There was no possibility of getting Bur
dcttc To testify, and the prosecution failed
70 provo its case. The complaint was dis
missed.
Tho story WIS too good tn keen, how
ever, and it went all over the country.
Whenever Bur,lctte was invited To II sup
per after lecture, he WAS asked, Did you
bring your champagne with YOU 1t so
happened that three years after Burtlctto
lccturcd in Kansas City Half way through
his lecture he saw one of the men who had
entertained him lat Amherst. lie told tho
story of that experience in IL pathetic fash
ION. After the lecture the Amherst man
went up and shook hands with him.
Why did yoil al make me the scapc-
goht for THAI excise case asked Burlcttc,
with an apprcciativc grin.
" 1T was because we found after COM
n1rlpU nntpS that ST. roll
that night was old, was the reply
Didn't You know that | was II church
dcacon?' asked Burlcttc.
That simply aggravated the oircnsc
anu gave point 60 our rctaliation, said the
AmhCrst mnn. Lie lnll M ;Iftnl1yarl ihnt