Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1898-12-03

The man was standing on the wharf,
one day since the war closed, at a point
where he could see into the non-pellucid
depths of the Kennebec about two inches.
He was gazing down just as intently,
however, when the policeman spoke to
him.
"Well?' said the officer in that disa-
greeable questioning tone a policeman
seems to think he has a right to assume.
Thanks, yes said the man with
wan smile, "about as we'll as could be
expected under the circumstances.
The officer wasn't expecting that kind
of an answer and ut threw him off his
clew.
II mean" he stammered, '1what are
you looking in that water for?"
I'm not" smiles the man again; 'it's
too muddy-too Kennebecky, 1 might say
having used it in my family for washing,
| drinking and plastering purposes for
many years"
81 guess you're right" said the police
man, changing the subject
~ don't think 1 am" confessed the
man, frankly. I'm fact, know 1 am not.
My wife and 1 were just discussing tina.
point before l came down here
well what are you doing here?" in
quired the policeman, quite as anxiously
as he had made his first inquiry.
II was thinking what a pity it was
that the war with Spain was over
| "Why, pity? Everybody's glad of it, I
thought?"
I'm not"
'Why not?''
"Well, when there was a war, being 4
right decent sort of a man that makes i
rafting good living for his wife, all had
to do to bring her out of her tantrums
was to threaten to quit work and go to
the front, while wilder woman was left
at home to scrape along for herself and
| four children. l say the war was the
greatest domestic regulator on earth, but
it couldn't last, of course. 1t would
| have been too much luck for a man like
me- No, stree, it had no quit, and now
the best l can do is to tell my wife where
| I'm going and make a break for this
neighborhood at least one mile from
home besides the publicity of it. Good
| by l guess I'll be going back. If You
see anything of a scarf woman charging
around here in the course of the next
half-hour tell her I've gone home, will
YOU, please?" and he moved slowly off
toward a street car.
"If l were only half as smart as my
| little daughter THINKS she is or as my wife
thinks 1 am unused the benedict, I'D
be pretty conceited individual. Now.
last evening / played a game of checkers
with my little girl. and. of course, I let
her win. The result was that she grew
| about three inches in as many minutes
and went to bed firmly convinced that she
was the smartest girl in the whole city.
Then played a game with my wife, and
when she saw she was getting the better
| of me she began to get cross.
"'Why don't you go ahead and beat
me?' she asked. DO you think I'm an
infant and you have to give me the game
to keep me in good temper?'
II tried to convince her that / was do
ing my best to win, but she wouldn't
have it that way. and when she finally
heat me she was mad clear through.
".You know you could have beat me If
Won wanted to- she said, but you
thought you had to humor me. don't
| like it a bit, and I won't play another
game with you tonight
| Eyes, indeed" went on the benedict, IF
I were only as smart as my daughter
thinks she is or as my wife thinks l am
we would all wear diamonds and have a
box at the opera"