The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1898-01-28
YOUR FRIEND WHO Is DEAF.
How ThOuGhtfuIness May Always
Tighten This Dread Addiction.

From the New York Tribune.
You have a friend who is hard of hear
ing. She is not entirely deaf and does not
use an ear trumpet, and it is not neces-
sary to shout at her. She is able to fulfill
all her social duties, can enjoy tete-a-
tete call, or dinner party if she has an
agreeable neighbor, but she is bewildered
in general conversation, does not always
hear when lrexpectedly addressed, has to
take a frort seat in church, and loses
many little pleasures. IR-Your heart you
pity her but have you ever given five
minutes thought to the numerous ways
in which you can help her to bear this
burden?
There are many people in the world who
enjoy poor health" perhaps you are one
of them, but you may safely assume that
your half-deaf friend takes no pride in her
affection. XoC may like to have people in
CURE after your neuralgia, and make a
little fuss about securing you a seat out
of the draught but there is not one deaf
person in hundred who cares to have
attention called to his or her infirmity. So
the first lesson you must learn If you wish
To be helpful is unObtrusiveness. If YOU
are arranging a drawing room meeting,
do not say 10 every one who comes in:
please leave q front seat for Miss Jones,
you know she is deaf" And when she
comes 10 not announce so that all can
hear 1t that you have made such a great
effort TO keep a place for her. Not only
do you annoy her, but perhaps you are ex-
agSeratinS her infrmity in the minds of
others. and as result she may be left
out of some future gathering which she
would enjoy extremely. Remeber TOO.
how constantly she is being reminded of
her trouble in the natural course Of
events, ana do not call her attention to it
unnecessarily.
II she had not heard some statement of
yours and asks you about il later don't
say, Il told you THAI at breakfast this
morning" or Il said so yesterday" I'm
less she mas reproached you for not tell
ing her, such remarks are thoughtless.
Again, if she is talking TO you happily
about The concert she enjoyed so much,
don't say, Il doubt if you heard all the
delicate touches and fine modulations of
tone" or if she tells you she takes so
much pleasure in her birthday present, a
clock that strikes. surely it is unneces-
sary to remark in surprised tone why.
can you hear it?"
If she talks to you confidentially on the
subject, she will probably tell you that
the hardest part of her trial is the feel
ing that she annoys other people Per-
haps you say, "Oh, nonsense, don't mind
it, but do you take pains to suppress
obliged to repeat q remark, or do you try
to render such repetition unnecessary? A
woman victim of impaired hearing once
said; IF all were as Thoughtful as our
waitress, / should not feel my deafness
half so much When she has a message
for me she comes to me and does not
begin to speak until she is sure that | can
hear. The other maids come TO the door
of my room, make their statement. and
often are half way through the communi-
cation before l realize that any one is
speaking TO me. Then l have to make
them say it all over again." The waitress
had grasped the fundamental principle,
namely, waiting until the attention is
gained before saying anything important
Many people drop their voices at the
end of a sentence, or slur over proper
names. This is trying to the deaf friend.
So if she says 10 you. "Of whom are You
speaking?" or, Where did you say that
happened2' just answer in your ordinary
tone, MARY Smith" or philadelphia"
and the whole affair is a mere triie,
whereas If you repeat the whole story in
a louder voice and higher key, with per-
haps a touch of impotence in your tone,
you make her conspicuous, and add TO her
sense of continually causing annoyance.
Perhaps she has learned to read the lips
with more or less success. Then it is easy
to see how necessary Ii is to face the
TO her 10 be in the direct line of the
voice You will try to bear this mind.
not only when you find her enjoying a
conversation with another. Take care to
sit in such relation 10 the third person
that he is not obliged to turn away from
her when he addresses you. 1t is a small
thing TO do, but ID makes a great differ
ence to her. For the same reason, do not
attempt conversation with her when one
of you is moving about the room. The
difficulty of keeping il up win annoy YOU
both.
It may be. too, that she cannot hear so
well when she is lying down, and If you
insist on talking TO her then you may be
depriving her of much needed rest 1t may
give you pleasure to have some one talk
or read to you when your back aches and
you are not a bit sleepy, but she has to
lft her head. or twist herself into an UNI
comfortable position to follow you. and fin
ally arises from her couch more tired than
when she lays down.
In spite of oil the efforts made in her
behalf, there will be many moments when
she VIII feel her limitations bitterly. You
may be called upon perhaps 10 tell her that
she cannot be left alone for any length