The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1898-10-03
DooLEY ON THE SPANISH WAKE.
He Regrets the Long POstpOnement of
the Funeral.


the Funeral.
F. P Dunno, in Chicago Journal.
"Whin tn war was goin began Mr..
Sure said Mr.. Dooley, tits not over
yet tbs li'ble to outlast both you an me,
Hinnissy. Twas me simple mind that med
me think that whin wan iv tn parties to a
ruction had lost both legs an an arm
twas all over but tn coroner's inquest.
didn't figure on tn wake because tits not
etiket east iv tn dumps FIR tn man that
caused tn wake FIR to jine in tn festivities
Be tn looks iv this case twill be a long
time between tn death iv tn deceased an
tn funeral. Were in FIR much socyal fistiv-
tiles that may r-round up in us goin' to tn
fiure with tn riltiveS iv tn departed, whin
you an me, Hinnissy, thought we had no
more wurruk to do but to walk off with
his joolry.
"Mack's tn la-ad that knows tn etiket iv
these occasions. Tis not his way to Trace
hor-rses to tn cimitry. He does things in
style. TIL wake is held in Pairs, where
life is wan CONTINUAL r-round iv pleasure.
TIL guests firm this side goes over with
up tn side iv tn ship befure they lave. an,
says he: Mrs. ex-Sicrety iv Agriculture
Zeke X. Jessop iv Oklahoma. he says, do
We intind to do amy shoppin' in Pahrs. an
do We think we ought to take tn Philip
pines or cook thin into a shirtwaist?' he
says. Mrs. ex-Sicrety iv Agriculture Zeke
I don't know what to think she says. But
I'm proud, she says, to be an Amurrican
lady, she says, as often tell me hus-
band she says. an if ,, we don't get tn
that'll make tn Omaha hat iv tn wife iv
tn mayor iv Guthrie look like Chinese
money she says.
AN thin they're off-an' in Pahr's they're
met be tn prisdint iv France an tn sicrety
iv state an Cap Dreyfuss an all tn la-ads
an carrid off to breakfast-an' that's tn
same as dinner with you an me. HinniSy-
an they meet tn rilitives iv tn deceased
Theyse lashins an lashins to drink IT'S
ixpinsive. but they don't wake Spain in
porther or ale, Hinnisy They wake him in
a dhrink that there hasn't been a bottle iv
in this war-rd since tn Indyans was here.
An afthef breakfast they set ar-round
thin it's off to tn Mullin Rouge, which is
kind iv theaytre, or tn cave iv tn
ambassadors, which seems to be base
ment saloon where TIL POLITICIANS ARE to
be found. At night they'se bankit give
be tn presidnt iv France an things to
drink, an ivrybody has a good time an
tn rilitives ~ tn remains puts up a good
Keen about himsilf bein' a dacint man but
very poor, an twood be a shame FIR TO
take his clothes. an thin all go over to tn
Roo Royal, that's like Clark sthreet an
have tn time iv their lives.
How long will it last? 'Tis a question iv
tn food supply Twill go en- till theyse
that handy they cud make a New England
billed dinner out iv cup iv wather an a
lotthry ticket. But | wish twas over. Not
because tits expansive I've Quit complainin'
since I heerd Mack was goin' to make a
wake, not an inquest, out iv it. An not be-
cause l want to know whether we have tn
Philippines or not. I'm that tired iv tn
Ph'lpiines I'd sell me intrest in thin FIR
pair Nv rubber boats an niver go out whin
Ii rains on account iv me rhoomatism But
I'd give tn price iv tn quarthers license
to be able to close up me place an go down
TO tn deepo an see what Mrs. Zeke X
Jessop iv Oklahoma done in tn way iv a
hat. I'll bet We that matther how we
come out iv tn wake. that good womanll
capture lid that'll make TIL farmers be-
tween here an TN Platte river think a
burnin' lie thrain is goin' through tn coun-
thry"