Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1898-09-15
! IDavenpOrt'S Difficulties



DayenpOrt'S Difficulties !
IN SOME respects Mr.. Davenport was
not a particularly nervous man.
| He could listen to the lachrymose
strains OF barrel organ with equar
nimity and the gay rattling of a piano
organ rather exhilarated him. More
over, his wife kept macaw whose es-
pecial accomplishment was the imita-
tion of a circular saw tearing its way
through a knotty log. He did not
shun the society of his six-ycar-old
son. Yet as he stood before his shaw
ing mirror he looked anXiously for cor
rugations in his forehead and streaks
of silver at his temples, and was sur
prised, in view of the fact that Pher-
netton had been practicing, to find
that no alarming change had taken
place in his appearance.
He was still wondering at this mex
plicable circumstance as he paced up
and down the platform OF the little
suburban station, waiting for the
train that was to bear him TO his daily
grind in the city, and when he raised
his meditative head and saw before
him a new automatic weighing ma
chine that had been placed there by
an optimistic corporation he at once
dived into his pocket for the necessary
penny and adjusted himself carefully
and exactly on the center OF the ball
ance plate. The penny ratified down
through the internal economy of the
machine, and the dial hand spun
around and stood quivering at $50.
That settles it," said Mr.. Davenport,
triumphantly. Three pounds gone.
Phernetton and / are going to have
a little talk together. I'm not going
to be reduced to an emaciated wreck
for any leather1unged pariah that ever
blew \ horn"
a cog, curly black retriever, with
u tongue several inches too large for
it's mouth, had driven Davenport from
his residence-20 minutes walk from
the city hall. 1t was then that he be-
came aware of the fact that he had
nerves. The animal at irregular in
tervals would wake in the night and
bay the moon or anything else he
took it into his head to bay. If he had
done this constantly and continuous
ly Davenport would not have minded,
tut the barks would have intermis-
sions varying from five seconds to two
hours, and there were frequently
nights when he would not bark at all.
One night when the dog had been
particularly eXasperating, Davenport
got up and stumbled to the dressing
table and took n revolver from
a drawer. He understood that by i'm
memorial custom, as biazoned in the
pages Of comic papers, he had the
right 20 shoot the dog-or was ii cats
whose slaughter was thus condoned?
lie examined the cylinder Of the
weapon by a bar of light that slanted
mp through the Venetian blind from
the street lamp and saw that IT was
filled with cartridges; then he remem-
bered that tradition required a shot
gun and that he ought to have been
wearing a tasseIed rightcap; besides,
a pistol shot at night would be too
noisy.
lie looked around the room for some
missile lie had no boot jack-in fact,
he had only a very hazy idea of what
a bootjack was. He would not have
hcsitated to sacrifice his hairbrush IL
it, execution had been likely TO prove
even painful, or his water bottle, II he
nad been confident of his ability to
. "a, ,,.tt1 l. ,,r.rtp;,n
idea suddenly Illuminated his gloomy
mind and he stopped and extracted the
casters from the four legs OF his bed.
Leaning far out Of the window, he
threw one Of the little iron wheels
with all his force at the black shape
that was jerking out its occasional
burks. There was n crash OF broken
glass and the rattle Of an iron chain.
The caster had gone through the base
ront window and the dog had retreat
ed 10 his kennel from which refuge
he barked with renewed energy.
Davenport was posing himself for
another throw when policeman
called grualy out Of the shadow TO in
quire what the disturbance.was bout.
Davenport counseled him 10 close his
visage and 20 back to bed. The dog
appeared 10 be listening.
II ended by Davenport paying five
dollars and costs, amounting to Si8,
for malicious mischief and $25 with
costs for Gisorderly conduct, including
abusive language. and by his removing
10 n house little beyond the city
limits.
There he lived peacefully and hap
PLY until the congregation OF the little
wooden church half block away ac-
cumulatcd sufficient funds TO buy n
bell, which the pridcful sexton tolled
on every legitimate occasion and
whenever lis time was not otherwise
occupied. At first Davenport was iu-
clired to like It.
1T puts me in mind OF when | was
boy" he said to Mrs. Davenport. Il re-
member how swectly and softly the
sound used TO come to me, blown from
the gray old meeting house in wind
modulated melody across the fragrant
meadows. / can smell the ncw-mown
hay almost when | hear II. | wish
though, there were a few meadows In
between here to kind OF take off the
rough edges"
Later on he wished for an intcrven-
ing continent, and at last rcmon-'
strated with the pastor. 81 told him."
lie said, that his bell was obsolete
n remnant of barbaric custom-of an
age when people measured time by
unreliable tallow candles OF varying
thicknesses and sun dials and hour
glasses-inexcusable in this latter day
OF Waterbury watches and nickel
alarm clocks. He Beemed almost per-
suaded, but with lamentable lack or
Judgment | added something about
people not needing bells to let them
know that n theatrical performance
was due, and then he froze. He said
that he was an old-fa.hioned man and
not addicted to the higher criticism
or to instituting comparisons between
Divine service and vaudeville, and he
gave me some advice which | suppose
1 needed. but which didn't want"