The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1898-10-01


was in rare feather. He talked, in his
voluble broken English, of his morning
proves, and thrice-nay, a score of times
he slew his slain grouse-my grouse
sublime self laudation | then found my
opportunity to say a word that should
further tinkle my vanity.
''Your Majesty was too hard on HE, l
observed. "You never gave me chance.
You were perpetually wiping my eye"
The monarch knitted his Imperial brow
in puzzled frown. Evidently the idiom
was beyond him.
"'Vipe his eye? What he mean? he
said, turning to the Marquis, who sat on
his right
at is sporting phrase, explained our
host. ut means to-to shoot the-next
guns birds before he has-has time to do
so himself. And it takes pretty smart
shot to wipe Curwen' eye, can assure
your Majesty, added the adulatory Mar
quis.
The Emperor puzzled frown relaxed
into broad, benignant smile.
''Ho p he said, was dat so? | apollo
gize, mine yong friend, dat leave you no
grouse to shoot at But my aim was al
ways queeck and fatal Nit me it is bang
kill; bang-kill Won cartridge-von
grouse. Dat is mine way
AN excellent way, too - remarked our
host
Il hat keel de fifty braces dis morning,
said his Majesty, pulling his long mustaches
complacently.
You have certainly done your share
toward the bag, replied some other syeo-
plant.
''Ha | hat help keep up de bags, >
admitted the monarch.
BY means Of his braces, whispered
my waggish neighbor Morden in my ear,
nearly causing me to explode with laughter,
but just managed to keep my counte-
nance. Had | failed to do so the conse-
quences might have been disastrous, for
his Majesty is most suspicious of hilarity,
and one could never laugh, but he fancied
one was laughing at him. Twill not, how
ever, deny that he may have had good
grounds for his suspicion.
The events of this afternoon need not be
detailed They were merely Il repetition
of what had occurred in the morning The
Marquis found an opportunity in the course
of the evening to commend me for the skill
and discretion with which | had played my
part.
...sAnd if you can keep it up over tomor-
row. he said. :.all will have gone most
favorably. -
His Majesty leaves here the day after,
| understand p
Yes: he is going ON to Balmoral. But
YOU will assist, in the same manner, for
this one more day, my dear Curwen?
Under the same guarantee Of personal
safety, Marquis p
Under the same guarantee.
Very well, | will again play the part
of the eye-wiped.
Next morning was again beautifully fine.
We started shooting at the usual hour.
All went excelently until just before lunch
con- Then disaster befell us. The first
token of the impending crash was that his
Majesty stopped suddenly in his onward
march, giving vent to a loud ''goddam
that was heard all along the line. The
Marquis hurried up to his Imperial guest;
50 did |; so did we all shuddered, feel
ing a cold chill of horror steal over me. |
saw that our hosts countenance was OF an
almost ashen pallor | knew the cause.
The Emperor held in his hand Il cartridge,
of which the outer wad had become par
TALLY displaced, and through the aperture
thereby occasioned was streaming down
ward, not the expected charge of No. .
but fine. dark brown powder, little more
substantial than the sand in an hour glass.
With lowering look he threw the cart
ridge ON the heather, took another from
the bag, and cut open the lower end with
his penknife The same contents were dis
closed Then, in quick succession, another
and another Just the same The In
perial face was by this time lurid with
wrath as a tropical sky in thunder storm.
His expression was appalling. He burst
into torent-a screaming, @ur@ling,
kissing torrent of furious words
''Ha goddam-a million goddams.
Vat dis mean? [ am befooled-l am be-
guied-I am bamboozled. Who hat
played dis game of tricks upon me? [
will crush him will smash him will
enfortress him Who is he, Marquis? [
will know, | say Produce to me this god
dam villain
And then he unshipped the whole bag,
Of cartridges from the loader shoulder,
flung it on the ground, and danced and
stamped on it in an ecstacy of imperial rage.
looked at our host He was speech
-paralyzed with dismay. His care
fully laid plan for obviating the fiasco of a
fatal accident at his shooting party, while
at the same time binding his imperial
guest into the belief that he was shooting
in Al FORM stood ruthlessly revealed. The
catastrophe was appalling-complete. There
was no escaping it. Small wonder the poor
Marquis could not find a word to say
Bat we all have our moments of inspira-
ton. And lucky indeed are we when the
Ills plEdIlOl COlneS W us DIT IiIc CllllCtI polhl
whereat it is most needed. My inspira
ton came to me at that crisis. 1t flashed
across my mine-a message from the gods.
saw my way to save the situation.
Hurrying forward fell upon my kness
in the heather before the dancing, stamp
ing, raging monarch. Pardon! Pardon"
l cried clasping my hands in gesture of
piteous entreaty. Pardon, Majesty !
Behold the culprit !!
YOU roared the Emperor, with pur
pie face. You? Vat you mean? How
you dare? You goddam traitor !!
''Ah! pity me, sacred Majesty, | cried.
II was sorely tempted. You know not
what shooting is to me. Oh, it is as the
breath of life And when, all the day
yesterday, your imperial skill banked me
of every opportunity, and you killed all my
birds with marvellous uuickness and preci-