The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1898-09-07
UNCLE TOMMYROT.
HIS TALKS WITH MEMBERS OF THE
KIND KIDS KLUB.

Good News For Orphans Something
New on Hand TO Interest the Boys.
Here is a peculiar letter Uncle Tommy
rot received last week among others. 1t
did not contain 50, which was of itself
suspicious, and Uncle ToEnmyrot doubts
that it was written in good faith:
THE "RATHoLE, Aug. steenth
DEAR UNCLE ToAIdYROT-How glad am to
see you back at your desk after your long
sojourn at Marble Twice-on- the -Hudsoni in
qulred many times for you, but they said you
were away at a sanitarium being treated for
your poor throat, which had become raw and
sore, hollering so continuously for ''S2, - and
that it must be burned out with alcoholic
etimulants. wept my tear jug full Here is
a poem wrote about you. Isn't 1t beautiful?
Some think he should be poisoned,
Some say he should be shot,
But that's way to talk about
Your Uncle Tommyrot.
Oh, how sympathized with the children's
friend, for myself am poor little boy, only
81 years old and an orphan. Until last spring
had two as good parents as anybody, although
they were somewhat worn and were deaf and
dumb. One day they a poor man strug-
Cling along who had the palsy. Needless of
consequences, they went out and assisted him,
only to be stricken with the dread, infectious
disease the very next day, passing in their
chips four days later. tell you, uncle 1t was
pitiful to see my poor palsy stricken, deaf and
dumb parents try to talk to each other with
their hands. They would shake and shake and
get all twisted up in their remarks am saw
ing 81 for you. have s1.S7 OF it now, but,
knowing your firm attitude on the cut price
question, would scorn to send less than the
full amount. Do you belong to the Seventh
regiment2 man told me he saw you at War
BILE Twice-on the Hudson, and you had a uni
form with big ''No. 70 sewed to the
breast. Please write to q lonesome little or
phanette. Very truly your nephew,
OLIVER TRERBLE.
P. S.-A horn bug lit on me last night, and
let the little cuss bite all he wanted to. Before
Joined the Kind Kids klub would have bit
back. Why is a lobster bowlegged2 Why do
you charge full price for orphans2
In reply to this scurrilous attack, for
Uncle Tommyrot can read between the
lines, Uncle Tommyrot wishes to say that
he does not belong to the Seventh regi-
ment, being already a member of the Vet
eran corps of the HighbaIl Fusileers, with
the rank of colonel But what is the al
lurements of rank when children all over
the world call him Uncle and send him
50? Could anything be more rank2 The
horn bug incident, as related by this alleg-
ed orphan, Uncle Tommyrot receives with
suspicion and views with distrust Be-
sides, the ritual of the Kind Kid klubs
only bespeaks kindness to animals. A
horn bug is not an animal. AS to the query
as to why Holsters are bowlegged, it is
out of Uncle TommyrOt's province to an
swer questions pertaining to natural his.
tory. He will, however, PROFOUND the
DEODl6Iu TO MS 166In0u RTOIoSB-
or Josh NJ. A. Long, the eminent author
of Chemistry For Children; or, The
Fairy Tales of Science" Professor Josh
NJ. A. Long will tell all of Uncle Tommy
rot's boys and girls next week why a lob
ster is bowlegged-look out for this trea-
tise of this most interesting crustacean
question. 1t will be of intense interest to
old and young.
AS to why Uncle Tommyrot asks or
phans to send him 90 just as he does chill
dren with full quota of parents the an
swer is easy: Why should Uncle Tommy
rot show Partially to children with par
ents? Why should he discriminate against
orphans? Mol A thousand times no The
orphan has many woes, but Uncle Tom
myrot will not add to them by allowing
them to send him less than the same sum
he asks of other children. Orphans of all
ages, you can send Uncle Tommyrot 50
just as often as you choose Uncle Tom
myrot, to use a coloquialism, plays no IA
vOrites.
Uncle Tommyrot has a happy thought
something to interest his boys and girls.
What do you think 1t is? You could never
guess in the world. But don't be impa~
tient, children, and Uncle Tommyrot will
tell you.
Well, then, it is nothing more than an
endless chain. You have all heard of the
endless chain, haven't you? For those
who have not Uncle Tommyrot will eluci-
date. An endless chain is the name given
to a novel plan that proved very successful
in getting subscriptions for worthy pur-
poses. 1t is started by some one person
writing four letters to four friends asking
them to contribute some specified sum for
some specified purpose. These four friends
are each requested to write four letters to
four friends and those four friends to four
friends each in turn, and so on to the same
purpose until the letters go far and wide
in proportion to the old problem of the
horseshoe nails.
Now, Uncle Tommyrot wants every
one of his boys and girls to send him 50.
Then let each one of them write to four
friends with the request that they (the
four friends) each write to four friends
who will each write to four friends who
will each write to four friends who will
each write to four friends, and so on and
so on until everybody will be sending
Uncle Tommyrot 50 and writing to four
friends to do likewise. Won't it be great
funP Think of Uncle TOmmyrot being
showed under a veritabIe avalanche of let
ters containing 50 when the endless chain
gets in working order
Well, then, children, since you will in
sist upon having your own way in this
matter, Uncle Tommyrot yields. Start
your endless chain of letters. Uncle Tom
myrot is too kind hearted and too indul-
gent to disappoint you if you are deter
mined upon doing it.
Who will be frstP
Master Eza Mark Of Goodthyng, N. j.;
Master .Justus Cilly of SwOpe Corner, Pa,
and little Miss May Knott of Hankypank,
Ia, take notice.-Viln.