The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1898-05-26

The Congressman and the LObsters
Mr.. X found himself a servant Of the
people after the last general elections,
says Harper's Magazine. He turned up
at Washington as the representative of a
congressional district of his state-a state
far removed from the seaboard. The
knowledge possessed by Congressman x
concerning things of the watery and mys-
ferrous deep was at this time limited
BHndtolded and sealed in the darkness
shbcellar that ever yawned, Congressman
X could have distinguished a red ear of
corn from a white one, but with his best
spectacles he could not have told a col
phin from a marline-spike -
1t was during his first week at the CAPT
tai. He reached his hotel late, and he
was tired and hungry. He determined 10
have mis- dinner served in his room, end
rang for waiter. He turned to the sea
food on the bill of fare, attracted no doubt
by its comparative novelty. oysters he
knew thanks to the activity of the BaIti-
more packers and the cheapness with
which square-cOrnered tin cans are pro-
dueed. CLANS were also within his ken.
Experience had shown him as it has,
others, that dozen of either of these is
no such unrea sonable- number for con-
sumption at one sitting He would have
dozen oysters. 'SWaiter," he began.
Unlucky moment! His wandering eye
caught the word lobster" Now with
this fruit of the sea he had no personal
acquaintance. But analogy, and an IN
defined general idea, pointed to 1t as be
ing very like an oyster or a clam. Waiter
bring me a dozen Holsters"
"Sah?" returned the astonished waiter
Il said you may bring me a dozen lob
sters"
yes, sab. I-ah-sah-"
"Well, what's the matter? Don't you
understand"
ooh. yes. sab, understand sab. But it's
IA large ordeh, sab"
Large order, is it?' exclaimed Congress
man X, with some warmth. "Weil, don't
you think l can pay for it? Got TO give
references before 1 can get my supper
eh?"
The terrified waiter fed, calling out as
he did so, Fetch yo ordeh right up, sah!"
while the congre ssman sank back in his
chair and unused of what the heavier
courses of his dinner should consist.
In due time the door opens and enter the
waiter and with him three other beings
like unto himself; each bearing alOft
tray on which repose three Holsters, red as
the morning.
Congressman X was on the point of cry
ing out in CONSERVATION when he caught
a triumphant expression on the face of the
original African. He instantly smothered
| mis- emotions, and looked on languidly as
the four deposited their burdens on the
table. Then he waved them away and
| Strengthened up
Left alone with his conscience and twelve
| broiled Holsters, the statesman felt that
| the mighty hour of his existence had in
| deed arrived. He was encouraged to find,
| however, on examination, that a fair pro-
| portion of the lobster consists of a horny
| substance not intended to be eaten. He
was hungry, and he is what is known in
| his state as a good feeder" He ate
! three of the Holsters, and then-paused.
! But the memory of that look on the wait
| er's face spurred him TO action. He emp
! tied his dress-suit case into his trunk, and
| therein deposited the contents of five Of
! the lobster shells. A boy came with a
! telegram, and departed with the meat of
! two Holsters done up in an evening paper.
! He bore another to the window and toss
| ed it out. But one remained. He hesita-
ted then ate half of it, and rang for the
waiter. The man entered, surveyed the
mountain of empty shells, and his count
! enance fell.
Anything else sah?" he inquired, in
! an awed tone.
''Er. well-no, Think not. It's late. Just
bring me a cup of coffee