The Van Buren press., 1898-11-26
THE BOWSERS' TROUBLES.
Mr.. Bowser Has a Whirl at Carpet
Beating.
ID. QUAD.

Mr.. B0WSeF Has WHlFl Ut SdTpet-
Beating.
M QUAD Copyright. 1895
"Wel, but what's all thisT" ex-
claimed Mr. Bowser, as he came home
10 dinner the other evening and found
the sitting-room carpet piled in cor
per and the room dismantled.
ITS time for house cleaning, you
know" replied Mrs. Bowser when
gou go down in the morning wish
you'd stop at the carpet cleaning place
and have them come Tor that carpet"
He said he would and made a note of
it, but after dinner sudden thought
struck him. lie stood looking at the
carpet for minute and then said:
by George, but I'll do it! It'll not
only be the best kind of exercise, but
save bother and delay. Mrs. Bowser,
III beat the carpet in the back yard
this evening"
But don't want you to- she pro-
tested. That carpet has got to go to
the cleaning works and be thoroughly
beaten"
"That carpet will be thoroughly
beaten right here, my dear, There's
back yard, stout elothesline, and
with the aid of a breomstick I'll knock
every speck of dust out of 1t in ten
minutes"
But please don't try 1t. 1t will take
two men 10 handle it, and nobody can
beat a carpet in ten minutes. You
couldn't beat it thoroughly In half a
day
eNow then, see here he continued,
as be began to remove his cuffs, 81
want exercise in the arms and shoul-
ders. I'm as stiff as a post. Beating a
carpet will be better than the dumb
bells or clubs. An hours work will
make me sleep like a top tonight"
"But something will happen and
you'll-you'll raise a row!" she fall
tered.
"Bosh! Nothing will happen, and
therel be no row. It's 20 years since
] beat carpet, and it will bring back
the old days. Your father was beat
ing carpet in the back yard when /
asked your hand in marriage"
I'll pay for having it beaten out of
my own money, if you'll let it alone" "
"lt isn't a question of expense, Mrs.
Bowser," he answered, Though we
might as well save the two dollars as
TO give it to the beaters. As | said,
want the exercise. also believe that
can knock out more microbes and
germs with a broomstick than any
steam carpet beater in the world. III
you few lessons on how TO beat a
carpet all in the merry springtime,
heigho."
Mrs, Bowser continued to protest.
but without avail. As soon as he got
into an old suit of clothes, he spat or
bis hands and made a sudden jump and
seized the monster bundle and gave a
wrench and pull. He was successful
In worrying It along to the door lead
ing to the basement, but then there
came a hitch. Mrs Bowser took ad-
vantage Of it to offer TO buy theater
tickets for the evening if he would go.
but he could not be moved from his
purpose.
Just you go down and hunt me up
oroomstick, and then stand by and see
the fur fly" he responded, and she
passed down ahead of him.
AS the bundle of carpet was larger
than the doorway, ii did not need
much acumen to see that the one had
either TO be enlarged or the other com
pressed. Compression seemed to be
The quickest way out of it, and Mr..
Bowser spread himself all over the
bundle and braced and tugged until 1t
suddenly rolled through the doorway.
lie hadn't planned to go with it, but
somehow he did. 1t was an even start
MIR. Bowser was also on top half the
Time going downstairs, but on reach
ing the hall below he was underneath,
and 1t took the united exertions of Mrs,
bowser and the cook and the grocer's
ooy to set him at liberty.
Someone pushed that carpet, and |
Know it'll" he shouted, as he got the
DUST out of his throat and struggled up.
But we were all down here" pro-
tested Mrs Bowser. 81 told you some
'hing would happen, and so it has. It's
wonder you didn't break your back
or neck. Won't you let it alone nowY'
Never, Mrs. Bowser-never will be
pailed by an old carpet. have set out
10 beat it, and beat it will or break
my neck twice in two. 1t rather got
away from me on the stairs, but it's all
N The exercise, you know. Now, then
out she eomesl"
ne couldn't have moved the bundle
loot but for the help of the boy and
Tue cook. After a tug which tired
everybody ont, it was landed at the
pack door. Then the cook and the boy
Withdrew and Mr.. Bowser set about
q, sSe''ing the carpet over the clothesline.
mere are men who have done such
,ungs and lived to boast of IL, but the
Instances are rare. There is no affinity
oe'Ween bundle of 2s yards Of Axmin-
er carpet and wire clothesline, and
'r' bowser soon discovered it. BY
Hereulean exertions he could get a cor
HSr OF II over the line, and it would stay
"Nile he held it, but that was all the