Mesa free press. [volume] (Mesa, Ariz.) 1892-1901, 1898-07-22

The Kindly Man-"Wn ny Stanu ye lule
herey The Other Man-"De benches
in de parks bein' painted. "-Detroit
Journal.
by Jove, old chap, how wish there
was no such thing as money! "Well,
we have no positive proof that there
is."-Life.
Snodgrass-"The world has a place
for everybody" Micawber-"Yes; the
only trouble is there's generally some
body else in It,"
"Yes," said Quiggles, II have good
deal on my hands just now" $50
perceive" replied Fogg; why don't
you try little soap and waterT
do you think a man has right to
open his wife's lettersY' well, he
may have the right; but don't see
how he could have the courage"
'Nellie-"Yesterday was my birthday,
and Charlie gave me a rose for each
year." Sallie-"What a perfectly I'M
mense bouquet they must have made"
Godfrey-"Doesn't Winchester ever
get tired Of his wife's continued sulki-
ness and Ill temperY' Scorjel-"I think
not. When she Is good-natured she
sings"
Mrs. Sweet-"Do you find It econom-
ical to do your own cookingY' Mrs.
Burnem-"Oh, yes; my husband does
mt eat half as much as when we have
q cook"
"Uncle, which breed Of chickens is
the bestT swell, sab, de white one Is
de easiest found, an de dahk ones is de
easiest hid after yo' gifts 'em."-India-
napolis Journal.
II, have splendid night lock here
that locks ITSELF" announced the can
vasser. "That won't do me- answered
Roundley. what / want is one that
will unlock itself"
II asked the young woman in front
Of me to remove her big hat so could
see the stage" "Did she do itY' mo;
she said If she held her hat in her lap
she couldn't see the stage herself"
Promoter-"You needn't be a bit
afraid; the company is perfectly SAFE"
The Lamb "Oh, I've no doubt about
the company being safe enough. was
thinking about the safety Of my
money"
"Oratory Is gift" remarked the ad-
miring constituent. 'Well," replied
Farmer Corntassel, mostly 1t is. But
now and then man gets good enough
at it to charge you fur listenin'."-
Washinton Star.
II see," said the shoe clerk boarder,
"that there is king Of Africa who has
been drunk for fifteen years." "That,"
said the Cheerful Idiot, 'is what might
be called soaking reign" -Indianap-
oils Journal.
'T'll take my chances with posterity,"
said the poet whose illusions had been
refused. "Of course you WILL" sneered
the editor. "You know mighty we'll
that posterity can't get at you."-De-
troit Free Press.
"That man Crumlet has more invi-
tations to dinner than any other man "a
town." "How does. he work it?" HE
tells every, hostess with a grown-up
daughter that she must have married
much below the legal age"
First Daughter of the Revolution
"She says she'd like to know, for her
part, what practical good our society
does" Second Ditto-"Why, the mean
thing! Just as If we hadn't made it
almost fashionable to be patriotic.
Judge.
Traveler-Do the trains for Waxton-
bury leave this station? Railroad At
tache They always have up to date;
but the thing is getting pretty shaky,
and 1t wouldn't be strange some day
to see one Of the trains carrying 1t off,
Boston Transcript.
An old Yorkshire woman being much
distressed at the sudden loss of her
only son, the dissenting minister as
sured her, consolingly: "He is now
with Abraham, Isaac and Jacob"
That's the worst on It," she sobbed,
'and he was always so shy among
strangers. "-Moonshine.
II had a mighty queer surprise to-
day." remarked local broker. II put
on q winter suit on account of the cold
snap-one Of my suits Of last year
and in one of my vest pockets found
big roll Of bills, which must have
forgotten, you know" Were any Of
them receiptedY' asked a sad-eyed by
stander. And the look he received sent
the mercury down about ten degrees
further.
Gentleman (who has engaged an
aged colored hackman to drive him
from the station to the hotel)-"Say,
uncle, what's your name" Driver
"My name, sab, is George Washing
ton" Gentleman-"George Washing
ton! Why that names seems familiar"
Driver-"Well, should t'ink it ought
to. Here been driyin' to this station
49, Tr~o..& kxxvorkxv won cab