The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1898-09-18
FOR FEMININE READERS
THE ART OF PLEASANT CONVERSE
TION SHOULD BE CULTIVATED.
Common CareIessness in the Use of
Language-Comment on Clubs-ya-
rious Household suggestions.

To be perpetually talking for effect is to
make of the speaker as positive bore and
nuisance as can be produced by any pro-
cess known to man. says a writer in the
New York Post. But firm resolve to alb
jure certain topics results in a natural and
unprecedented adherence to their opposites.
A woman who has determinately set her.
self to leaving the Swallowed side of her
neighbors' lives to the silence which may
heal their wounds; who will not be drawn
by adroit Don't you Think" into giving
a censorious opinion; who feels that the
misery and pain of the world are so real
and appalling that she cannot lightly re-
hearse its accidents and tragedies for the
amusement of a dinner table, soon finds it
natural and easy to start the criticism of a
book or play, or turn the current of thought
without effort towards impersonal things
The story Of the special fad or study of
any clever man or woman will often give
a quickening influence that acts like leaven.
The history of how her rose-bed was
brought to its brilliant triumph; the recital
of her experiments in modeling the fascina-
ton of her study of ferns, will bring knot
of disciples to tread the same pleasant
paths. What lies in the art of out-of-door
sketching. the joy of that week given to
always disappointing trials to put the curl
of a wave-crest on canvas, will bring to a
set of tired plodders an absolute longing for
the scent of the brine and the sight of the
sea.
Everything adapts itself readily to the use
of her who starts from the basis of rejection
of horrors, and gossip. and whatever dark
ems thought, Injuries another, or gives pain
to either the present or the absent. 1t be-
comes as natural to think of pleasant things
and to talk agreeably about them as to
begin eagerly the moment two friends meet
with: Have you heard that Mr.. Brown is
in great danger of failing? They say that
no tradesman will give him credit and that
they will have to take Tom from Harvard.
Beyond the personalities of gossip, our
daily intercourse is shamefully stained by
graver disclosures of what we really know
of the sorrows and sins and distresses of our
acquaintance and friends. We may not
mean it unkndly, it may be even in a spirit
of sincere sympathy that our fluent story is
told; but by what right do we lift the veil
which until then had saved the unfortunate
from the plying or reproachful glance
which he will receive tomorrow on the
street? There is pity born of love which
heals; but God alone knows how bitter is
the pity of strangers for wounds man
tries to hide. 1here is no warrant in our
for our spreading the details Of their mis-
fortunes simply as themes of CONVERSE
ton which can never bring them any good
result. w nave Out TO turn our eyes III
ward for the swftest glimpse at our own
hearts to realize that these are plainly sub
jects which ought not to be talked of lightly.
Another wrong we constantly do our
neighbor is through lack of fidelity to con-
fidence reposed in u.s. Scarcely a day passes
during which we do not hear some one say:
1T is not out yet, but / know you won't
mention it if l tell you''-or, Il was asked
not to speak of this, but I know ! can trust
you" The items of news may be very
trfiing, they may indeed, involve nothing
serious but we clearly violate a confidence
placed in us, and though minor evil of our
gift of speech, it is frankly breaking our
word. 1T is hard to understand why we find
it very easy to commit this breach of
trust, but doubt if there is one in thou
sand of us who has not done 1T over and
over again and thought not a whit less of
ourselves and our bad behavior.
The deep consolation we derive from
opening our hearts to our best beloved is,
let gratefully acknowledge, one of the
largest, most divine gifts God has bestowed
in tender healing for our deeper griefS or
in beautiful multiplication of our joys. But
let US be chary of our speech concerning
these deep and awful experiences of our
complex lives. Let few come so near as to
receive from us these unfoldings of what
dwells down in the secret places of our
hearts. Let nothing draw us into a habit
of speaking of ourselves to the world. There
is little we can safely intrust to others out
side of those few whom we count nearest
and dearest. whom we have tried and not
found wanting. A safe rule when an over
flowing heart urges us to loosen our tongues
keep the door closed on the PAIN
GO give them the sunshine.
And tell God the rest"