The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1898-02-02
All Sorts OF Paragraphs.

"A woman can tell what another
woman has on as far as man can
smell fried onions.
"Did the play have good run?'
''No, but the actsrs did. They were
chased out of town"
= The property value Of Greater
New York would buy one-third Of the
farms in the United States.
A newly discovered spot on the
sun, which is visible just now, is said
to be 30, 600 miles in diameter.
= The difference between hungry
man and a glutton is, zone longs to
eat, and the other eats too long
-Eva-"Does your new dress fit
you we'll p Vera-"Oh, splendidly.
[ can ha-dly move or breathe in it. -
-He-"Why are you so cold to me
to-day? You weren't yesterday
She-"Malaria, my dear: have a
chill every other day. -
Hoak-"Do you believe that l3
is an unlucky number ?" Joa1-
sWoll, al the people who lived in the
thirteenth century are dead
Don't annoy others by your cough
t0D op1 riol, uOnr Iifo hu por1oofipry
cold. One Minute Cough Cure cures
coughs, colds, Group, grippe and all
throat and lung troubles. Evans Phar-
macy
= A number of New York women
have formed a Don't Worry Club. >
They don't care whether their hats
are on straight OF not.
The man who has nothing to
boast Of but his illustrious ancestry is
like potato-the only good belong
ing to him is underground.
Attorncy-"Are you a married
man % Humble Witness-"No; I
was hurt in a sawmill last week-that s
what makes me lock so BAD
Every woman has a fad. said
the observant lady to the one who had
buried th.ee husbands. Him I'd
like to know what mine is
Whooping cough is tho most distress
ing ms,-dy; but its duration can he cut
short by the use Of One Minute Cough
Cure, which is also the hest known reme-
dy for Group and all lung and bronchial
troubles. Evans Pharmacy.
: Mrs. Henry Peck-I read here
that western State proposes to tax
bachelorhood. Mr.. Henry Pesk-A
good idea. All luxurics should be
taxed.
'Do you believe his interest in
the State is as deep as he pretends it
to be % 1T is several thousand feet
deep: at any rate. He has a lot of gas
and oil wells.
= Tcacher-Now | have explained
to you the difference between good and
evil, tell me what sort Of little boys go
to Heaven ? Billy Snooks (promptly)
Dead uns.
What pleasure is there in life with q
headache, constipation and biliousness?
Thousands experience them who could
become perfectly healthy by using De-
Wits Little Early Risers, the famous
little pills. Evans Pharmacy.
: Bcnedict-Do you think man
will have bad luck if he gets married
on Friday? Bachelor-Oh, [ don t
think it makes any difference whether
it. Friday or not.
Would BE Poct-What's the best
time to write poetry? IIas-Becn
Poct-Jast after you secure si.ua-
tion from which you get enough to
live comfortably.
He devoted his immense for
tune to the pcrpctuation of his mem
ory You don't say so % Eyes,
he left it in such a shape that every
dollar will be litigatcd over
A thrill OF terror is experienced when
brassy cough Of cronp sounds through
the house at night. But the terror soon
Cure has baen administered. Safe and
},u lacc r., l,:1 n
: The largest egg is that Of the
ostrich. Il weighs three pounds, and
is considered equal in amount to ~
hens S eggs.
: Jerusalem is now nsthing but a
shadow of the magnificent city of an-
cient times. 1t is about three miles
in circumference, and is situated on a
rocky mountain.
= But, madame, can't pay your
boy four dollars week when can
get any amount of boys for two.
"Ah, but they're not like Micky.
He d be Il companion for yc. .
= The indianapolis Journal offers
the profanc suggestion that Il locomo-
tive is always spoken of as she be-
cause of the horrible noise it makes
when it tries to whistle
Next to our grape wine it is be-