The San Francisco call., 1898-05-01

be purchased from vice by any purse virtue could offer. I regret to have noted that virtue is often more ready with an admonition than with coin. It is matter painful to contemplate that it is prone to rely on the precept which costs nothing, and the prayer which, however effective. is free. There will be no reform while the present Super visors are in office. It would not even be wise to buy them, for not man in the lot has clear title to himself, and would stay bought. The only way l can see is to lay for the fellows when they try for reelection, and try to put creditable men in the places oc- cupied by a set who constitute dis grace to San Francisco. If they could not only be defeated, but majority of them sent to jail, there to pick jute beside a lot of School Directors, the youth would have better chance.
 There is familiar story concerning a notice posted in a wild western the- ater: Please do not shoot the or chestra; they are doing the best they know how" It seems to me some friend of the Examiner, if friend it has, ought to advise that concern to fling rom it's outer walls banner bearing legend of similarly benign import. In its frantic effort to present the news of the war that paper is doubtless do- Ing the best it knows how; and the demonstration of the little it knows is painful. One would, if not moved to pity by the spectacle, have a heart of stone. But, although scooped on the blowing up of the Maine, and forced to steal its account of the first battle from the columns of The Call, it could be in measure consistent. Saturday morning it stated editorially the fact that Matanzas could easily be reduced had been shown by Sampsons brush with the batteries. In one news col umn it told of the brilliant engagement, the courage of the navy, the perfec- tion of discipline, the terrible execu-s tion, and said 300 shots were fred 104 of these from the New York. In the next column it set forth that the en- gagement amounted to nothing, was not, in fact, serious enough to disturb the good people of Matanzas; that sev- enty shots were sent into the city, fail- ing to explode, and that no harm was done. Of course all this gives to the reader the advantage of a wide range of choice, but it is possible that some readers would like to find out what in happening at the front.
 In the absence of veneration for the flag and respect for the men defending it by land and sea, there should be, for the sake of decency, some method of enforcing at least the semblance of dIJa ic VUfI fO face the national emblem by advertis- ing device, and properly so. But pie lures of the flag are woven into adver- tisements of all sorts, Remember the Maine exhibited like a piece of junk the personnel of the army and navy made to do duty as dummies onwhich to display the latest styles of cheap cloth ing. Just at present there is consid- erable feeling of friendliness for these men, and about them center immediate hopes for the welfare of the country. To employ their faces, now grown fla miliar to boom line of goods. I be- lieve to be an exhibition of taste worse than merely bad. It is prostitution to the commercial instinct of a mighty patriotism which should be at least as sacredly secured against the vandal as are the stars and stripes which wave as its visible token.
 
 A gentleman known as "Stingy Jim" writes to tell of number of inventions he would like the world to know about: and really although the spread of such information is a little out of my line, I think the world ought to know. As may be common with inventors, the 1cs 11n nln Jim scorns all recognized styles of spell ing and composition, the combinations of letters he builds being but another evidence of lofty impulse to break away from fixed rules and contrive better ones of his own. However, this Is immaterial The burning truth is that he has thought out a machine which is at once churn and an icecream freezer. He has poSthole digger of great local renown, a nail-puller which tackles the carpet tack ~reedily, nor pauses in the superior presence of the railroad spike. He can set up unicy- cle which can be ridden by a child or anybody else. In very truth Jim's mind seems full of wheels and other me chanical fragments. I do not feel cer- tain that these few remarks will be of
 
 In conclusion he explains that he once contributed to the press, but quit when his poem on "Predestination" was re- iected. I have a distinct admiration for Jim, and he has reason to be proud of what he has done. Any of us could write a poem on "Predestination'' and get it rejected, but how pitifully few of us are authors of a posthole digger? To whom among us had occurred the idea of combining in a beauteous whole the useful churn and delightful freezer? Would not the unicycle be be- yond us and the nail-puller above our intellectual reach? "Stingy Jim'' is credit to the Shasta and Igo Cross roads.
 It had always been my impression that the Spaniards would fight, but this impression seems to have been wrong. They like to cut a throat when they catch a wounded enemy asleep, and to dabble in any amount of gore that can be safely shed. But if they x@Ia