davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-12-25
-sSs-<-z1s
BRYAN'S LITTLE JAP.

&c. A. Brininstool in the Los Angeles
Times.)
There's a question that is puzzling Colonel
William Bryan's head,
Since his country he's been serving, and a
soldiers life has led.
Far across the distant waters, from a
sawed-off little Jap,
Who is surely quite most persistent
perSeVerinS chap.
Comes a cry: I want papa, and your
Democratic fame
Haunts my very inmost being, and I want
to bear your name;
And l beg of you to take me-take me
while can be had;
Please adopt me il. your family, be to me
Yankee dad.
81 can make a cherry pie, Billy Boy. Billy
I can wash the dishes, too. Father Billy;
l can trot the kids around while the Ian
guage you eXpound,
I'm a young Jap, but want a Yankee
papa"
And the colonel, greatly troubled, sent a
freezing cahlefram
To his dusky. bold admirer in the island
of JanaD:
I'VE have kids enough at present-have'nt
room foc any more,
Your demands are very cheeky, and your
pleadings l ignore
Billy Boy went forth to battle and the
matter left his mind.
Mid the duties that devolve upon the
camp lie daily grind
But when home upon furlough, at his
door there came a rap,
And into his royal presence Strolled a
smiling little Jap.
81 have come to visit you, Billy Boy, Billy
I have come to make a stay. Father
Billy;
I can make a furnace hum, and 1 know
you'll let me come,
I'm young Jap, but want a Yankee
papa
So at Papa Bryan's homestead little Itsu
makes his stay,
An washes cups and saucers up. an
Shoes the hens away"
Like Little Orphant Annie" did, and
now, in deep diSpair.
Poor Billy wonders where he's at with
little Itsu there:
He don't like to offend him. but he saws
he has grave fears
That Itsu's come to make a stay at least
for seven years.
For the cablegram that Bryan sent no
cruel terrorS had
For this benighted Japanese who wants a.
Yankee dad.
Il want you for my dad, Billy Boy, Billy
I want you for my dad. Father Billy
l have crossed the ocean wide. lust RI
linger at your side,
m a young Jap. but want a Yankee
papa.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-12-25
woMAN's RAPID PROGRESS.

As the sphere of woman expands her
exclusive rights and privileges drop
away. The time is coming when she
win not only be allowed, but REQUIRED
to testify. concerning her husband.
1t has not been long since the hus-
band. in all Of the older states. was
held responsible for the wrongdoing of
his other half. II she contracted debts
he was made to pay them. If she in
ffcted injuries he had to settle the
DAMAGES. In other words, she incurred
the expense, and he paid the freight
But the supreme court Of Afassachu
sets has just handed down an opinion.
which not only upsets this whole order.
but actually reverses it. The court
holds that a married woman is civilly
responsible for injuries done by her
husband.
In the case considered an assault and
battery was committed by man while
doing some errand upon which his wife
had sent him. The battered individual
ignored the husband, who was poor,
and sued the wife, who was rich. And,
although it was shown that the wife
was not present when the encounter
took place. and admitted that she had
not advised or coerced her husband so
that he assailed tie plaintiff. the court
took a singular view Of the case. end
fosnd her liable for the damage done.
The defense not only urged her per-
sonai innocence Of the particular wrong
done. but argued that if she had been
present or had even done the deed her
self, owing to the presence Of her hus-
band, it would have been a natural pre-
sumption that she had acted under his
coercion, and so could not have been
held liable; and counsel for the defense
insisted that "a fortiori. she ought not
to be held liable when absent
But the learned court, trying to keep
pace with the times, seems to have
passed them a little like the dog and
the wolf of the story, and. instead of
viewing the rights Of woman from a
standpoint of equality. seems to look
upon her responsibilities as graver even
than those of man.
And the conservative east is at the
bottom Of ali this. For Maine and Mas
ssehusetts precedents are. cited as au-
thority.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-12-25
MILLIONS IN THE HILLS.


| There is an activity in Salt Lake
mining circles at present which may De
| lilcened to boom, but there is such a
prejudice in this section against booms
that the comparison may seem odious.
There are millions upon millions in
the mountains of Utah, all undiscov-
cred, and millions glistening in the
glare of the miners lamp every day.
Enough rich ore is in sight already to
justify the excitement now on. 1t is
not a BOOM 1t is an effort to get hold
of good properties, to seize opportuni-
ties as they are presented, to be ever
ready to answer to the knock of for
tune which oauses at no mans door
the second time, they say.
A reaction from TIlondike has set in.
All the country has the mining fever;
the Yukon excitement started it, but is
unequal to the task of either curing or
feeding it.
1t is we'll when so many have the
mining fever to let them know that
Utah has the mines. Prospecting here
is a picnic excursion compared with a
trip to the bound regions of the
north. Mining here is more profitable
in the long run than it is in Alaska.
The climate. on an average, is good
enough to render tent-living comfort
able nine months out of the year. In the
southern part of the state one may get
along outdoors the year around. And
it is in southern Utah that the future
wealth of the state will be found. With
railroad facilities, such as are being
supplied as rapidly as possible, there
VIII be an opening of Dixie to a COM
mercial prosperity that the people
never imagined would come to pass.
There will be camps on every stream,
and towns spring up in a night, and
great 1nills sending up their smoke like
incense tc the heaven which smiles
upon them.
And the old abandoned mines, the
tailings and the refuse of other days
when lack of transportation made ordi-
nary mining Improbable. viii be work
ed over under new conditions, with
modern contrivances and processes, and
made to pay.
There is an era of prosperity open
ing up for Utah, Notwithstanding hos
tile monetary legislation and adverse
general conditions. 1t is a prosperity
that nature yields; a wealth that in
dustry uncovers in the Mills; an assur-
ance of growth that cannot be checked
by tariff territorial expansion scares,
sold monometallism, sectarian wars or
political plots.
The hills of Utah are full of wealth
and the people are filled with courage
and confidence.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-12-25
Queer Device For Gambling.
Pittsburg News.l

''The queerest gambling device I
ever saw was a check perforater,' said
J. II. Irons of the United States mar
shaFs office. L went into a downtown
bank not long ago at the noon hour to
serve a paper on the president. There
was a board meeting on in a back room.
1 noticed all of the clerks in a bunch
playing some game, and 1 went over
to see what it was. They had one of
those revolving check perforators with
numbers on it from to 9. One man
was spinning and acting as banker
while the others were laying bets on
the numbers. They were operating on
the old whee1-of-fortune system. 1 got
so deeply interested that I forgot all
about the paper 1 had to serve until
there was a scattering of the group and
a disappearance of the cash on the
board and the perforator. turned and
saw the president. When he entered
the banking room every clerk Evas busy
at his desk"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-12-25
SOME GOOD, SHORT STORIES
Idle Speculation.


Smart as chain-lightning. When
did chain-lightning get SO smart?
SHARP as a steel trap" What makes
a steel trap sharp? BLACK as he'll"
Hell is lurid. not black. Hot as thun
der" Who can prove that thunder is
hot? Gold as the devil" How can
his Satanic majesty suffer from frigid-
ity? Colder than charity" There's
some sense in that. Mean as a dog"
No dog is mean until man has made
him So Quicker than creased light
ming Where is creased Hghtning's
habitat? BLACK as night" Not one
night in a thousand is black. Gay as
q lark" / never saw a gay lark; | may
have been on one. Solemn as death.
That's good. Mad as a March hare"
March hares are not mad; hares are
fools at all times. Crazy as loom
Try to shoot loon and see who is
crazy. Foolish as a child" Argue
with a 4 or 5-year-old and see who
feels foolish. Mad as a wet hen.
Perhaps there's something in that.
straight as string A string is
anything but straight. Crooked as a
rams horn" Very good. Gentle as
dove" A dove is about the widest
bird we have. Stupid as an ass" The
ass is more wise than the horse.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-12-25
THE TROOPERS HOME AGAIN

Captain Gaines cavalry has been
mustered out The boys will reach
home today. it is thought
Utah's troopers have seen service.
Certainly it was not what they eX-
pected when they enlisted; nor was it
all they desired. But it was service;
active, actual service. They took the
place Of the regulars at the parks
while the regulars went to the front.
But this was net the wish of the vol
unteers. 1t was an arrangement of the
war department.
The men who enlisted. but never had
an opportunity to. reach a battle-ground,
should not be entirely overlooked in
the honors and the praises being heaped
upon the heroes of the conflict. The
soldiers who have patiently discharged
their duties in a less conspicuous sta
ton, who have borne the burdens of the
camp. or chafed under the bonds Of
restraint with no chance for distinction
and only faint hope of appreciation,
should be remembered.
They are heroes who were ready at
the call. Their offering was all that
any gave. If it was not accepted as a
sacrifice by the god of war it was not
the fault of the volunteer.
The troopers are welcomed back to
the ranks of useful citizenship again.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-12-25
Bryan enlisted and found nothing but
peace; he resigned to fight.
Queer Answers.

(Chicago NewS.)
Here are some answers to examina-
ton papers collected by a Chicago
school teacher:
The doctrine of evolution began with
the beginning of life, and grew higher
and higher, until it at last regenerated
into monkey. This process was so slow
that neither the man nor the monkey
knew anything about it."
"A germ is a name applied to a par
ticular particle, tiny sub bacterial or
ganism, which, when demonstrated,
causes disease
"A germ is a tiny insect, sometimes
found in the diseases or organs. 1t is
so very small that it can only be seen
by a telescope. That is why diseases
are contagious. At times it appears like
the head Of a pin, but it goes floating
around in the atmosphere
'Habeas corpus means you may have
the head and l viii take the body"
The germ theory of diseases is con-
tinually floating around in the air and
is very dangerous. especially when the
atmosphere is unwholesome."
"A dowager is a widow without
joints.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-12-25
Price of a Maidstone.
Chicago Record.)

~
Down at Leesburg, Va, a maidstone,
which is famous throughout that sec
ton and is said to have cured many
cases of hydrophobia, was sold at auc-
ton, to wind up an estate, for $3.50.
The purchaser was J. A. Geiman, a
prominent resident of Loudoun county,
Virginia, who has full faith in it's pow
ers. 1t originally belonged to his
great-grandmother, and has been in
the family for 131 years. The stone is
about seven Fights of an inch long,
five-eighths of an inch wide and one
quarter of an inch thick. People in that
neighborhood tell remarkable stories of
it's powers. 1t has been used hundreds
of times, and they claim it has never
failed. During the revolutionary war
it was carried in the knapsack of 81
private soldier, and in Philadelphia was
used to cure seven persons who were
bitten by mad dog. AT that time it
was brought to the attention of Wash
ington
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-12-25
So at Papa Bryan's homes
The Army Button On Carriers.
philadelphia Tnauirer.l


The girls have worn the army button
in every conceivable place and manner.
They have been made into jewelry of all
kinds, hat pins, stick pins, brooches.
belts, belt buckles, shirt waist sets and
even used on the tabernacle gowns to
fasten the whole front of the tight-fit-
ting waists. It remained question
what to do with them next
This question has been settled. The
buttons are now transformed into gar
ter clasps or buckles. This was prob
ably the last resort of a girl who had
already covered herself from head to
foot with these emblems and souvenirs
of her hero friends and had a couple
left with which she did not know what
to do.
1t is a bright idea, after all, as they
make very handsome clasps. and when
fastened to the red, white and blue gar
ter ribbons, which have only five elias
tic cords at intervals throughout their
entire length, leaving a wide ruffied
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-12-25
NOW FOR THE SALT PALACE.

Early this week a committee of prom
inent business men, appointed for the
purpose, win begin the work of securing
subscriptions for the erection of the
Salt Palace and carrying the affairs
connected with it to a successful con-
clusion. The Herald believes the plan
is a good one and that it means much
for the commercial welfare Of the city
and The state. The citizens associated
in the movement are leaders in bust
ness affairs and The Herald bespealzs
FIR them the active support of every
one interested in the progress of the
community.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-12-25

mortal pen, and quoted off-hand from
Shakespeare:
See what a grace is seated on this
brow
Hyperions curl, the front of Jove him
self;
An eye, like Mars, to threaten and COM
mand-
A combination and form indeed,
Where every god did seem to set his
seal,
To give the world assurance of man.
Like Chauncey NJ. Depew, Mr. Choate
says he has been endeavoring to live
down a reputation as an dinner
wit; but that is one of Mr.. Choate's
Jokes
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-12-25

Welcome, Battery c! You went away
followed by tears and cheers. You re-
turn greeted with smiles and cheers.
You did your duty as it was allotted
you. The smoke of battle was not your
portion. You are not to blame for that
For you were ready. You were of the
many called. You were not of the few
chosen. But there were heroes who
never reached the front. All could not
be favored.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-12-25
SUCH A MAN MUST READ.

To the Editor of The Herald:
am afraid 1 win not be able to take
your excellent paper any longer. l like
it. but the fact is that McKinley's pros
perity has not struck this neck of the
woods vet and there is no immediate
pets here. He talks about the increased
circulation of money. Does he think we
are all incapable of understanding our
own condition? There IS more tax paid
and money borrowed TO pay it with than
ever. The war tax. regular internal rev.
enues, tariff taxes. state taxes and the
Lord knows how many more kinds are
TO pay. So the prosperity must be with
the president and his pets. instead of the
people But they claim they are doing
1t for humanity. Is it humane to release
govern themselves and don't seem to
recognize any rule but that of cold lead
and chains anyhow? Is it humane to tax
our own people to death TO free such
islanders, and to send our own boys to
tropical chimes or pest camps to waste
their lives away from neglect and disease
up big fortunes after the soldiers have
cleared the way for them? This is not
the kind Of humanity ] have been taught
TO believe in. Z. j. ALDRICH.
The correspondent takes very
gloomy view Of things. In the first
place, he cannot do without The Herald.
His letter shows that he is man of
thought, that he keeps track of public
events, and knows the trend of the gov
eminent. Such man must read He
cannot help it. A good newspaper is
as much Of a necessity to him as is one
Of his daily meals. In fact, it would
be strange il his mind did not hunger
for reading as much as his stomach for
food.
Then his ideas of prosperity are alto
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-12-25
SANTA CLAUS IN THE SENATE.
Why One Little Girl Wanted to Stay
During Executive Session
(kansaS City Star.)


When the senate rather unexpectedly
went into executive session the other
afternoon, the doorkeeper of one sec
ton of the gallery had difficulty in
clearing out the occupants as rapidly
as his orders require him to do. All
We're amenable to the strict senate
rules that require great haste in 1eav-
ing the galleries. except the little girl,
who chung to her mothers skirts and
refused to go. She was finally hustled
into the corridor, crying all the way.
After the big doors were closed, the
guardian of the star chamber secrets
asked her why she was so opposed to
leaving.
Because" she stammered, between
sobs, because Christmas is coming,
and Santa Claus was in there, and I
wanted him to see me-"
She had been looking at Senator
Stewart of Nevada
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-12-25
f course, Roddin got away.
Pink and Perky Paper.

The London Evening News is pink
and perky. In q paper marked Late
edition." the first column, first page
article is not big item of news, but
this:
Harry, 1 can sum up your case in
three words" said Lancaster. THE
fact is, and you can't deny it-you're
in Lowell"
Ellington started.
In another column were the ''brief
bits Of news" like this:
There was large fire in New York
Yesterday"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-12-25
zee woRLD eRomNe gETTER

There is such difference between
this christmas and those Of a thou
sand years ago, of I'VE hundred years
ago, and, for thar matter, those Of
one hundred years ago, that the pessi-
mist and his theories are put to shame.
Even the strides Of civilization dur
inx the past year, the happiness borne
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-12-25

will sit in
ticket
he
O.
Iowa. occupied his
and Nebraska
printing
is n
Ogden Mr. Smith chairman the Buffalo
county,
time of his nomination,
the statea Populst
y 4 \ r. = 4 y \ y \ 4 =
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-12-25

The spirit of giving at Christmas time
is in harmony with the spirit of the
festival. The tendency is to keep alive
and active these impulses and iEspira
tons which form the mainstay of so
ciety, the basis of morality, the soul
of religion.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-12-25

A little girl in suburban school was
asked by her teacher what most people
found, even in warm countries when they
got to the top of high mountain.
Most people find,' said the little girl
that they are out of BREATH"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-12-25
Two Views.


He docking over a poem)-Hmi Cheeks
originated that expression could have OBJ
tanned a perpetual copyright and charged
a royalty his heirs would be fabulously
rich.
She-I doubt it. The expression would
not have been used since.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-12-25

1t was a big undertaking to supply
beef to the American army in Puerto
Rico. Therefore, undertakers were en-
gagged for the purpose. This accounts
for the beef being embalmed.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-12-25

One of the principal obstacles to the
construction Of the Nicaragua canal is
the Ochoa dam. 1t will have to be con
siderably larger than the tinker's ditto,
and promises to become as celebrated
as it's Yuba contemporary.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-12-25
Chopping Him OF.

Borrowby (effusively)-Ho Grimshaw.
is this really you, old man? Haven't seen
you for an age; thought you were dead,
don't you know. and
Grimshaw-Just keep on thinking so,
Borrowby.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-12-25
Taking II With Him.


u uck.J
i see. said the first SNAIL shat you
have taken UP your abode.p
That's right said the second snail;
II m on the move"
And he plodded cheerily along.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-12-25
His Economy.
(Puck.)

Mamma Dec (26)-Where are the two
silver dollars Uncle Dick gave you for
Christmas?
Sonny was afraid they'd wear out the
purse, so spent them.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-12-25
srocKs AND INvEsrMENTs.

Utah Bank and Commercial Stocks, and
other High Grade investment securities
sought and sold.
Loans on Stocks.
Dividend-paying stocks bought ana sold.
Investment orders from institutions
trustees of estates and capitalists will re-
ceive the best of attention.
JOHN c. CUTLER. JR
Tel ~ IS Main Street.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-12-25

Sagasta, like his government, is
trembling in the balance. Death hovers
over him, even as dissolution hangs
over Spain.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-12-25

Senator Chandler deprecates the use
Of Doodle in campaigns. And ne life
long Republican,
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-12-25

margin, they do not seem entirely APP
propriate. They certainly intensity the
impression of patriotism in the wearer.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1898-12-14
PERSONALS.

VI. II. Burgunder, OF Nilkcs-B Barre. was
in this city yesterday.
Mr.. and Mrs. Geo. y. Taylor returned
last night from Philadelphia.
Mr.. Myer Davidow, the Lackawanna
avenue shoe man, is in New York ON
business.
Mr.. Irwin A. Well, Of Mulberry street,
left yesterday for New York city. From
there he viii go to Ashcville, n. c., where
he will spend the winter
Alderman j. y. Kelly, of the Eighteenth
ward, whose critical illness 1t was feared
would cut short the impeachment pro-
ceedings has fully recovered and was
able to be about yesterday for the first
time. The proceedings will be continued
next v eek on day to be later agreed
upon.
Colonel l.. \. Watrcs, Adjutant ID. B
Atherton and Quartermastcr +. NJ. Wand
ling and Major Field, of Easton, spent
Monday in Pottsville ana Reading. Yes
tcrday they went to Easton, where they
inspected the 1hird battalion of the Elcv-
cnth regiment, n. G. p. The Scranton
contingent were delayed yesterday morn
ing by an accident on the Philadelphia
and Reading railway when the engine and
mail car Of their train left the track.
Major Wint of the Tenth United States
cavalry, returned yesterday from Phill-
delpha. where he attended the reunion
of the Sixth Pennsylvania volunteers. in
which he served during the Civil war.
Major Wint was shot while leading his
battalion up San Juan Hill during tho
recent conflict and when he was able to
leave the hospital came TO the home of
his brother in this city to reCupcrate. lie
has almost fully recovered. His troop is
now located at Huntsville, Ala, and has
orders to go to Matanzas, Cuba early IN
January. lie expects to be able to re-
Join the Tenth about Feb. !.