New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1898-08-03
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

Tho Bookman" tells this story illustrating the
.humors Of a school examination: on s'f''
1T appears that at an elementary examination IN
English which was lately held In a school near
New-York TWO sentences given out TO be cor
rected by the younger SCHOLARS. The first sentence
was 20 he corrected as TO its subject matter. and
the second sentence to Its syntax. These were
the sentences
1.-The hon has three legs
"'Who done IT,
when the papers were handed In II found
tina, orc OF the examines had apparently regarded
the sentences as suhtly connected In thought Tor
his answer follows;
1.-The hen didn't done It; God done IL "
THE wHrRLIGrG OF TIME.
Mary had little lamb.
Its fleece was white as snow;
And everywhere that Mary went
The lamb was sure 10 go.
It's fleece Is still as white as snow.
Bu, Mnrys lamb has grown:
And she'd rather walk three miles
Than face that lamb alone. -tTruth.
Chinese merchant in Wellington. New-Zealand.
who recently failed. made the following statement
OF his condition:
Il see my troubles endless 10 come I can't get
my money to pay. am helpless. During last
three years over thrty-sx creditors support my
business. During last two months not lot mo
have n penny on tick Fish never can live In n
dry pond without water. Engine can't move along
without well supply Of coal Roy can't fy his kite
without tail on H. Housekeeper pour out all tea
to the cup refled water how she give you
more tea you require? All empty out just the way
like my business"
When he awoke in the morning there wasn't n
ves,iSe OF his clothing in the ROOM
NO. HIS wife had on his outing shirt and his
bicycle h, cSat his doush ter had his cap hs sash
with his knickcrbockers and his shoes. "-(Ceve-
land Flain Dealer.
Hawaii had this year. for the first time an official
right to participate in the celebration of the Fourth
OF July as one OF its own holidays. and exercised
It with fine display of patriotism. AS decorative
accessories II had General Merritt and his troops
pauslng there for few days their way TO
Manila. It was a great day for the islands by far
the greatest In their history. and will long be re-
membered In their annals
Kitty-Yes. there's no denying that Charley
Touer is fascinating fellow. but don't you know
they say he Is inclined to be fas'
Netty-Nonsense. 1t took him a good hour last
night to get out OF the house from the time he
Standardization Transcript
A Philadelphia policeman tho other day received
letter Informing him that speak easy" by
which term an unlicensed saloon is designated was
In operation near Franklin and Spring Garden SITS
His detective Instinct AT once aroused and
he made an investigation. only to discover that
he the victim OF some practical joker The
pace referred to proved TO be an Episcopal Church
Mrs Wallace-What do they want to cut all those
cables for? 0
Mr.. Wallace-Don't you understand? As soon NJ
tho cables that hold the island are all cut II can
he towed over against the United States and
fastened on to Florida. Cincinnati EnuuIrcr
THE London Naval and Military Record" saws
that a new rule was recently framed for the guild
ancc OF field marshas. 1t was. with other reauIa
tons. put into type. and appeared In proof as fol-
lows:
'l.T2 Field Marshas-Feld Marshals will wear
buckskin pantaoons. Jack boots and gilt snura
only. at drawng-rooms, and on all such occasions
II Is almost unnecessary to add that ms AEON 40
attention was called to the fact that in such
meaSre costume field marshas would create som.
sensation at a dra wing room the order was var,ad
Anxious Mother-How IL II that you have so much
trouble with your housekeeping? You told mo your
wife could cook "
Adult Son-She
Then what III the natter"
She wont"-(New York Weekly.
Spain has few warships. but plenty Of hard
ships.
rs that your oaby?" asked the interested marty
What a cute little child What is ne saving
now?' so "''e
~ don't know" replied the perpexed father.
philadelphia North American