The copper country evening news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 18??-1907, 1898-03-05
PREACHER STORIES.
HUMOROUS INCIDENTS IN THE LIFE
or, MINISTER'S. ~ ~
A.. Episoopalian's Only Experience with
vmmersion-Ths A1sthodist Preacher and
the Fishing Boy-Ths Msrbishssd Divine
and the FIERCE Bull.

the Fishing Boy-Ths Msrblshssd Divine
and the FIERCE Bull. '-'-'~
An Episcopalian clergyman, now dead,
vsed 10 relate an experience he oncs had.
rhioh convulsed his congregation With
laughter and nearly broke up his services
;or the day. Hewas the rectoro Of . church
IN Connecticut.f * ~ - fE
= One day as the time for the annual visi.
tation Of the bishop was approaching, and
he was preparing = clase for oonnrmation,
he was sent FOR % VIM q wcrnan who de-
sired TO talk with him on tAs subject of
baptism.
,Irbe wonan, who was very stout,
weiobine somewhere In the neighborhood
of 900 pounds, informed him that she had
long been attracted toward the Episcopal
church. but had refrained from uniting
with IL because she had strong convictions
IN regard to baptism and felt that she
ought to be immersed. -
The minister told her that, although
the church believed pouring or sprinkling
70 be valid baptism, 1t did not prohibit
immersion, though, as 1t was somewhat
inconyenient method, 1t was not often
used.
He pointed out the difficulties In the
way. saving that he had no fount In the
church large enough for such purpose,
and that there was no river or beach In
the vicinity. In reply she suggested that
he obtain permission to use the Baptist
church, which had large baptistry under
the pulpit platform. This he consented to
do though WITH much misgiving The
consent of the Baptist brethren was read
lily obtained.
The next Sunday Episcopal services
we're held In the Baptist church. At the
proper time In the service the candidate
for baptism went forward, and, with the
minister, went down into the baptistry
All went well until 1t came time for the
immersion. Then the minister for the first
time realized his inexperience In admins
tering that form Of baptism. When he at
tempted to immerse the woman, his foot
slipped, and they both went under the
water together
He hastily scrambled to his feet, but, to
his consterntion and horror, found when
he attempted to raise the woman, that she
could not be moved. There she lay. like SO
many pounds of lead flounderng In the
water and screaming for dear life. In vain
he tugged and pulled. She could not be
even started.
Finally several men in the congregation
went to the assistance of the minister, and
by their united efforts succeeded in bring
ing the frightened women to her feet. The
men were wet to the skin, having been
obliged to go into the baptistry. The
congregation struggled with it's pentup
laughter, but finally 1t burst forth in a
roar which could not be suppressed. The
services were continued with great diff
Guilty, and the minister drew long breath
of relief when they were ended.
Boys in church, as Is well known, are
not infrequently the cause of great annoy
ance to clergymen. Some years ago a
Methodist minister was delivering a SER
mon with a good deal of earnestness when
his attention was attracted to boy in the
gallery. The youngster was leaning over
the rail and apparently lowering some
thing attached TO a cord, which he occa-
sionally pulled up, when he would throw
it over again with more gusto than ever.
Do what he would the preacher could not
keep his eyes off that boy.
Shifting his position In the pulpit
slightly, he had a better opportunity to
see what was going on and observed that
an old gentleman in pew under the gal
lery had fallen asleep and was sitting
with his head back and his mouth wide
open. Seeing this, the boy had attached
OoIh W ID sUrlnB anu was enucdNOrluB w
lower it into the old mans mouth. He
came near succeeding several times, and
as the cork gently swayed to and fro it oc-
casionally tickled the sleepers nose. AT
such times he would stir little uneasily
and brush it away with his hand, to the
evident delight of the grinning youngster.
The whole scene was so exceedingly COM
ical that the minister came near laughing
outright. At length he was obliged to
beckon to the sexton and request him to
put an end to the boys fishing for the
day or else send him somewhere else to
do it.
An uncomfortable experience which be-
fell Parson Bartlett, Unitarian minis
ter, some years ago. used to be related by
his clerical brethren with a good deal OF
glee. The parson had been invited to ex-
change pulpits with clergyman in Sa-
lem and 1t being a delightful Sunday In
the spring the parson walked across the
fields from his home in Marblehead, start
Ing early enough in the morning to be on
time when the hour for service arrived.
The congregation assembled at the usual
time, but no minister appeared. Minutes
passed into half hour, and from that into
an hour, and it began to be apparent that
there would be no services that morning.
just as the congregation was about to dis
perse the parson arrived. He was covered
with mud from head to feet. His coat was
torn, his hat battered, and telltale streak
on his shirt front exposed his darling vice
of chewing tobacco.
An explanation was in order and was
given. While the parson was sauntering
ieisurely along, enjoying the bracing
morning air and the picturesque views,
thinking now and then of the points In
MS sermon, he heard a believing behind
him, and, looking around, saw belliger-
ent bull, with his nostrils dilated and his
tail In the air, rushing directly for him.
The parson ran for wall near by and
Jumped into the next field. But the bull
was not to be eluded In that way. He was
over as soon as his clerical victim. The
parson jumped over the wall again into
the Held he had left, but the bull was there
before he was. In this way they kept up
the jumping and running, first over one
wall, then over another, until by scaling a
fence the parson reached the open road.