Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1898-09-15
Sam Jones at LuraY.

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ray camp-meetiug and was greeted by
the largest crowds ever seen at any
public gathering in that county. Not
withstauding a charge of % cents ad-
mission, nearly four thousand persons
heard him at one of his meetings.
The following is some Of the hot shot
he hurled at our Page county friends:
The biggest fool in the Valley OF
Virginia is the fellow who will argue
against a fact.
never ask now how fellow was
baptized. ask what kind OF dog
they poured the water on.
This whole country is only Gods
country, and you stingy old farmers
are Just renters till God comes.
You put your poor preacher in an
ice box and then get mad at him if he
don't sweat.
Young man, when l was twenty
one years old thought Daniel Web
ster an Idiot. Now l am old enough
to know what a big fool was when |
was like YOU are.
fl was mad at a man all l would
want would be to run him for an Of
fee and get him elected.
An office holder is sure to go to
perdition. He is like hog going IN
to a mud hole to wallow. If he goes
in clean he is sure to come out filthy.
In these times a woman wants to be
everything a man is except the father
of family Of children.
Politics have converted this country
into a nation Of calves.
More taxes means more COW feed,
and more COW feed means more politi-
clans
You think Jones's currycomb is
mighty rough. 1t amt my curry
comb. It's your sore back.
l don't believe that gold bug-gery
or silver diggery have any more to do
with the prosperity of this country
than the dogstar has with the tides
The trouble is you good old farmers
are clever old fellows but you amt
got no sense.
There are a whole lot Of people in
this country who live on a dead level
with their bellies
There amt an old farmer in this
country who works more than three
months in the year If merchant,
lawyer or doctor didn't work more
than that be would starve to death.
I've got no use for politics. Nc
Kinleys crowd is for paternalism and
Bryan's crowd is for communism.
McKinley's crowd says Lets make
the government take care of us, and
Bryan's crowd says Lets divide up
everything the governments got be-
tween u.s.
There are $4,000 more old veterans
drawing pensions today than were
seven years ago, and, God bless you,
they are still Matching out.
Some of you old fools are laying by
for your children. If they are any
account they don't need cent. If
they amt worth anything every cent
you leave them will sink them an inch
lower.
There amt anything free except
the CAB Of fool.
You say, Zones, | like what you
say, but l don't like the way you say
it." You fool you, that's what I've
got the patent on.
have no objection to bangs. | think
they become both women and mules.
We need more honey bees and less
butterflies among the girls Of this land.
Hear me, young ladies, it is a tre-
mendously dangerous thing TO be a
very beautiful woman-but none Of
you in this crowd are in danger.
l could be as nice a preacher as
there is on this continent, but you
don't need that sort. If nice preach
ing would have saved anybody Luray
would have taken angel wings long
ago.
The devil can run a mile before the
average preacher Is done pulling his
boots on.
All of the girls Of this land want to
be pretty little things and all the boys
want to have a good time
If you've got a pistol along with
you tonight, bud, go home and Kill a
dog-that is, commit suicide.
They tell me that in South Dakota
they are issuing marriage licenses with
divorce coupons attached.
! don't want to fight any Of you
- r. oL1,4 49,, 1.t-o al f,.o.c.,x.