The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1898-03-29
LAURENS, S. c., March 80, 1898.
Tanned, $50 TO Speak,"

Ahhleu, 80 ~ Spcuhs'
The situation Is not so warlike. 1t
looks from Washington, as we read
the news, that matters might be ar
ranged without "~.liking." There was
great excitement and expectation on
tip-toe all last week. Preparation was
and still Is on n mighty scale. The
naughty Spaniard should bite the
dust or join the victims of the Maine
at the bottom Of the deep sea as food
for fish. The news Ia now that all is
tame at the White House. Grim
yisRged war hath smoothed his wrinkled
front" "All the clouds that lowered
upon our house in the deep bosom Of
the ocean buried" The torpedo Span
ish ~flotilla, it is now reported, will be
allowed to rendezvous at IIayanna. =
We will not meet them In IN id-ocean
with our mighty men Of war and SEND
them unshrived to Davy Jones. Nc
Kinley sent to Congress tie conclusion
OF the Board Of Inquiry that the
Maine was sunk by mines or torpc-
does in Havana Harbor-but without
recommendation. The only speck OF war
above the horizon is the order Of the
Washington Navy Department that
all OF our lighting ships be painted
black. A sort Of J~ack-the-giant kill
er's cloak Of darkness-or mourning
habit for the poor Jack Tars deep
down in the Names bulls. In the
meanwhile the Cuban middle remains
nnaaft1a1 Nn r,,,cI yunit ,,,tiDrt1,, ND
we will know what happens,-if we
live long enough. Senators in Con-
gress make speeches, and shed tears
over the unhappy dying, starving Gu
bans. The galleries applaud and
weep with them. Pending all, the
bands arc practicing Yankee Doodle
and Dixie to be played alternately as
the campaign proceeds. Patience IS a
cardinal virtue.
Xxx
The birthplace OF Andrew Jackson,
who troubled South Carolina, has been
unsettled as between this and the old
North State. Some little while ago
there was a learned effort to trace the
lineage OF cold Abe Lincoln" other
wise the ''martyed Lincoln" to this
State, through Nancy Hanks, his
mother. But the other day, Var
Wyck was chosen Mayor Of Creator
New York and Immediately the chroni,
~genealogist and toadeater undertook
to fix his paternity about Postum Hol.
low, near Pendleton, South Carolina
Once and awhile it crops out as a mat
ter OF congratulation that Colone
Hobbs, of the commonwealth of Lex
tngton, this State, is now the King O
the Cannibal Islands. The Abbevill
Press and Banner alluded in a recen
Issue to the amount Of breath eX
pended at Greenwood and Due Yves
In hallelujahs to w. j. Bryan. An,
now Congressman j., Hamilton Levi
has been lodging the unwholesom,
surroundings OF Washington for a weel
or so and dropped in upon Columbii
and Charleston. Lewis is a yer,
handsome fellow, witty, bright and pc
lite and they dub him the American
Chesterfield. Being a man Of decen
manners aud a member of Congress i
would seem rara avis. Levi
lives at Seattle, Washington State, tn,
greasers of California, South, and tn,
bears of Alaska, North of him. II,
found an accomplished lady South foI
his wife. Now the dirt eaters ar
tracing his claim to South Carolin;
birthright. Only six years ago W.
fhnnrhf ,ya lnn,,,l th,t ~.
people.
Polite, in the State seems to be ii
a chysaiitc muss. The ringsters ir
Inc Genera Assembly, in the State
House, at tn, State Fair, in cotton re-
auction cauctses and Good Roads Con
ventions, seen to have boggled the
business OF making states. Prospective
candidates have been canvassed and
some nave been declared. But there
seems to be speculation as to who will
prove to have sticking qualities. We
don't know what is meant by "tender-
footed" but there seems to be much
indication Of "corns'' Among the as.
piring candidates. An English Gen.
era observing the men disposed tc
struggle on the march orderod q gen
era inspection OF feet and trimming
OF corns. Even the gallant South
Carolina Press, usually o~utspoken and
brave, shows a pecking off disposition.
The ADVERTISER itself Is in the same
boat, drifting, and don't know "where
1T Ia at" There is some speculation
as to whether Ben Tillman will come
down and blaze out a programme. He