Cottonwood report. [volume] (Cottonwood, Idaho) 1893-1901, 1898-01-07
HAlHE||E|!IkfElls
a man must toll ere pleasures thrill

r, e"e W peuai up one hill
nv ere you can coast the next.
Washington Star.
Medium-The spirit Of your wife :.
mere, and says she never dreamed 81
sucn happiness since you two partad
Ihe Man-Teil her feel the same wav
Wheeler-I see they have been trviny
bicycle ambulances Walker-I thought
these scorchers would make sometime
OF the kind necessary. Cincinnati En-.
quirer.
suDurbs-I am not at all good enough
ior you, dear. Miss Boston-I'm glad
you confess It before we were married
You're not the fellow for me.-Boston
Courier.
= often experience a shock of dIsap.
pointment when ! get up close to some
apparently beautiful woman" "Prob.
ably they feel the same way about
you."-Chicago Record.
hungry Higgins-As fur eight hours
being enough for days work
Weary Watkins-It amt. ANY man
who'll do days work orter cit six
months. indianapolis Journal.
Julia had her husbands photograph
taken with his head stuck in news
paper "Why did she do that?" "She
said that was the way he always look.
ed to her when he was at home"
Heidi you tell your father that I
would kill myself If l couldn't have
you? She-Yes. He-What did he say?
said That settled it. You
couldn't have me.-Chicago News.
Jack-Where's Bill now? Jill-Out
West. What doing" Raising
ralms." Doing what% Raising
palms-making the tenderfeet throw up
heir hands. "-Yonkers Statesman.
"History repeats ITSELF" said the man
who Is full Of wise saws. Il know it
ioes," replied his morose friend.
That's why Pm beginning to kind of
ose interest in baseball. "-Washing
on Star.
"Sad about the Duzenstickers."
What's the matterY They've lived
ogether fifteen years, and they never
lad a quarrel until lately, when they
Fought bicycles of different Makes
chicago Record.
"What in the world is Smithers build
ng on the lot next door?" "a cold stor-
ge house." ITO keep his meats and
ro<4ries from spoiling?" mo; to keep
is daily sup&y of ice from melting
way."-Cincinnati Tribune.
Marriage" said the puffy man,
made me what am to-day. Marriage
the mighty engine of civilization"
Then" remarked McCorker, you are
ot self but machine made, suppose"
Philadelphia North American.
Thought you said Frank and George
freed in politics?" $50 they do"
Veil, they argue over it every time
ey meet" THAT'S because they don't
low what it is they agree on."-New
DIRK Sun.
City Man-This must be a very
salthy place, judging from the num-
er of old people l have seen here! Ma
ve-Healthy? It's so blamed healthy
lat guess a good many of 'em will
ave to be shot on the judgment day
uck. q
"Women are naturally incredulous,"
emarked the whist player. That's
ontrary to the common impression"
l don't care; it's true. You never can
lake one believe you the first time
GU tell her what are trumps. Wash
ngton Star.
Wheeler-Have you learned to make
he repairs on your wheel yet? Sprock
No; never shall either. l haven't a
lit of mechanical genius. "Oh, yes,
.ou have" Indeed l haven't. l could
lot even invent car coupler.
lati Enquirer.
Mrs. Wickwire-Don't you ever make
even the slightest attempt at manual
sbor? Dismal Dawson-Mum, l am
iyin' the way l am on bet. l got a
wager of $4,000 up that kin live
Eighty years without workin'.-lndian
apolis Journal.
First Thespian-When l was playing
Hamlet in Omaha and getting my fifty
A night. L Second Thespian-Holc
on there, Jack! make that five. FRS
Tom, 'pon me honor
city a night regular. Eggs are cheaI
out there.-Harper's Weekly.
"Its three-quarters of an hour since
I ordered that turtle SOUP" snapped
,he angry guest at the restaurant. Yes
sah.u said the waiter, with an oDse
onions how. ''but de turtle done maxi
his ,scape, sab, an dey had to chas'
him bout a mile, sah."-Detroit Free
Press.
Navar touched him: ut looks lk
rain today" said the affable milkman
as he dumped the regular quart int
The pitcher. st always does SAID Tn
woman. and the milkman drove Oh
wondering why some people take sue
gloomy views Of everything.-Detroi
Free Press.
mo, sir" said the Kansas euiloi
..,,o,,r services are no longer required
.,Toy venture to ask why I'm Oils
oharsedY' you're too blamed funn1
THAT STYLE may do In the Dlase an