The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1898-09-22
Sforyeffes.

James -, who tells good story of
the joke burglar sprung on him once.
The burglar was being tried for break
ing into house with a Jimmy" and
when the trial had proceeded little
ways something came up to cause the
court to ask the prisoner why he hired
James for an attorney
"Did Jimmy go to the Jail and ask
you to employ him as counsel?"
inquired the court.
= "NO, sir"
"Were you acquainted with him?"
mo, Sir"
"Then how did you come to employ
him?"
"Well, l heard his name was Jimmy
and thought that as long as was ac-
cused of getting in with jimmy per
haps could get out with one."-Ex.
oxo
At one moment in the battle of Sc
dan Bismarck and his peculiar staff
thought fortune was going little
against them. They criticised the dispo-
sition and movements of the two arm
les, and some of the semi-military
friends of the chancellor declared the
French were getting the best of it.
cpl find out" said Bismarck
He rode slowly forward through Mott
ke's staff to the brow of the hill, where
Eol1 oho1 al II iii
not speak to Moltke and Moltke did
not say word to Bismarck. But Bis
marck came slowly back with relieved
expression on his face.
"It's all right" he said to his staff.
"Why, how do you know? We watch
ed you and neither you nor Moltke
spoke"
That's so" said Bismarck, "but Off
cred Moltke cigar from my case and
he took the best one in it.
O&O
"White folks" remarked Erastus
Pinkley, sis queer people. Long comes
BROKER Wash'nton telIin' de cullud
folks dey doesn't 'preciate dab Oppuh
chunitieS. He better talk ter de white
folks bout slightin' chances" "What's
been happenin"? enquired Miss Maimi
Brown. ode people whit l wus wuck-
in today done sent word ter one of de
neighbors warnin' her ter keep her
chickens fun comm over in his yardw
Syracuse Herald.
a Texas Judge was robbed of horse
not long ago, and the thief, being ap-
pretended, was brought before him for
trial. The Judge eyed the prisoner with
deep satisfaction for a minute or so.
and then delivered himself of the fol.
lowing: Owing to a personal preju.
dice, the court will not hear this case.
1t will be tried by the baliff, who will
find verdict in accordance with the
facts. IN the meantime' he added i'm
pressiyely, "the court will go outside
and bend rope and pick out good
tree" -Green Bag.
The man who wrote the following
paragraph in the Lebanon (ky.) Falcon
has evidently not forgotten that he was
once boy himself: "Some mean, little
souled individual poisoned the melons
in his patch at TompkinsviIe, and as
consequence a cOlOred man. who merely
sampled the fruit of the vine, is dead.
The man who will poison the melons
in patch has soul of such proper
tions that if 10000 like it were impris
Oned in the capillary cell of hair each
and everyone would suffer the horrors
of solitary confinement. A boy or ne
gro has moral, and should have Ie-
gal right to take watermelon where
ever he finds one where it grew. That's
not stealing"
Joseph Jefferson had once in his EN-.
ploy a plausible sort of man, half valet,
half factotum, grossly incompetent and
unsatisfactory, whom he desired to get
rid of. 1t was certainty that the man
drank. Wine from the cellar would
mysteriously disappear, and gradually
60 down in the decanters; but there
was never any ocular proof.
"And." said Mr.. Jefferson in telling
the story to friend, "there l was
What could | do? However," he con
tinued, zone day as 1 was sitting in my
library, whom should l see but Will
lam come Keeling up the walk drunk
as a lord. There was no doubt of it
My opportunity had come after many
years. | waited for him. l would tel
him how drunk he was. He would de-
ny it, of course. He would insist thai