The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-03-06
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WITH THE COFFEE.
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de was looking very blue. Months ago,
wnen he was in comparative afiiuence, he
loaned friend some money. 1 say a
iriend-ha was at least an acquaintance.
now, the loaner needs it. The flour bin
Is nearly empty, and there is a paucity of
olack diamonds in the shed called the
coal house. He requested his friend to
remember the many promises that he
promised that he would remember. but
that Is all that he did do.
g @ g
few days afterwards they met again.
Inc same request was made and the same
promises came in response thereto.
Once again the friends met. 1t was the
~"r0e old story. The poor fellow who had
loaned the money, passing hardware
~, A4s..4Ceu within. Inere, III ietters
as large as life. was the inscription:
looked again, and again Then he drew
| the remnants of once Respectable SUIT
| OF clothes around him, sighed and said;
Pick handles only five cents a pieces, and d
yet so many -- are allowed TO i've.
! well known musician wandered into
a drug store the other day, and said to the
| clerk in attendance:
I wish you would kindly fill this pre-
scIiption, and as soon as is convenient. as
1 desire TO catch the next car.
me clerk. who came from ireland or
Boston-no one seems to- know winch
! gaEed hlondikishly at the prospective
! customer and replied:
~ beg your pardon-but did not eaten
/ your request.
Il would like to have that prescription
| flied just as soon as You can do II.
Il beg your pardon again, but you DO
not want the prescription filed. What you
desire, my friend, is that take this paper
writing which l now have in my hand.
carry II TO the sacred precincts of the pre-
! scription case. and from the various re-
| ceptacles called by the vulgar bottles, ex-
| tract the h=rbs, roots, barkS, tinctures,
SyrupS, AQUA pura and other necessary
/ articles, weighing out each and every
one with the eXactness and precision that
! is indicated by the wise man from whom,
! at q price wholly inadequate TO its value,
you obtained this precious document. re-
| membrance of the worth of which Will go
! ringing down the corridors of time. After
having filled the receptacle, you require
that l put thereon label, showing you,
because you are too ignorant TO know,
when, where and how you should swallow
the same. Then you require me to wrap
the same up in a pretty pink paper, hand
X 10 you. take the money and say Thank
YOU and you will depart and proceed 10
carry ont the instructions / have caused
TO be written on the label which is on the
outside OF said bottle or receptacle.
wherein is contained the medicine you
desire to use. or, at least that which the
doctor has prescribed as being, in his
Judgment, at least. no matter what L may
think about it, highly beneficial to your
system. l shall do all OF this with the
utmost pleasure. and i'll the way and man
ner that was taught me at college, where
| ranked as one of the best and the
brightest-bUt. my good friend, don't,
please don't. ever make request that
I'll a prescription. L have filled pint
that held but four ounces, and all that
sort of thing. don't you know, but for the
life of me. Cholly. l have never yet been
able to fill a prescription
Then the undertaken was summoned.
@ @ @
Ex-Policeman Lund was standing in
front of the Walker Bros. bank the other
day, soon after Mayor Clark with the adj
vice and aid and acquiescence of the
council. had decided that v was persona
non grata to the people of this city.
Dressed in a well-fitting black suit, re-
lieved with a snowy lawn tie that would
have been a credit to any minister in the
city, he lowered away above the average
human being. smiling as he talked to sew
eraF friends who were condoling with him
on the fact that he had been let out. and
wondering, probably, where he could find
a purchaser for the new useless uniform.
Suddenly a youngster, with a grin on his
face, stepped up:
Say. Mister Lund." he said. I'VE can
sass you now just as much as we want
And Lund said. Yes and there ara
those who insist that he said something
else to the boys who insisted that there
was something coming on him.
O. G. @
What, would you do, say. what you'd you
If you could not earn sou. a single sou?
If day by day on idle, empty hands you
gaze
And can on God in sorrowful amaze,
And ever murmur the sad refrain.
What must l do my bread TO gain?
Must strap a board upon my back,
Seize bell and cry, Good people all
alack, \
I can sweep, sew, beat biscuit, make a
Gar all clothes look amaist as weel's the
new
Teach young ideas how to shoot
Their A c. and some 'ologies' to boot.
Knit. crochet, lovely monte Tides make.
Embroider monograms for friendships
sake.
Paint pansiss. bluebells. all that fairy ilk,
On dish, plaque, pearly satin, or silk.
Or in the quiet evening hour. some
Quaint awake in soothing threnody
o. this whole city full of societies
For womans aid-all sorts of pietiesl
Bristling over with tape and thread
And none TO tell you how TO win your
bread.
1
That yonder under that cold stream le /
And daily Ger proud tender souls weep, /
Who struggling vainly, at last seek sleep. /
For souls are still cheap. and bread is
But Goa Ge@'' is over all-and death is near.
Then what would you say. what would
If YOU could not earn sou. single sou?
-Immerdas.
8 g, sa
The latest from Washington is to the /
effect that few days ago a close friend
of the president met him on the steps of .
the White House and, noting a panied. I
tired. careworn. iaded. charlie-horsed ex- /
preston on the face of the chief magis- /
trate's face. said: You look anxious |
Mr. President. Is there any bad news
from the Maine?"
No" responded the executive, his face |
lighting w for a brief instant to cloud /
again the next, 'it isn't the Maine matter !
that is worrying me; l have that well in I
hand; but that district attorneyshiD out I
in Utah is causing me grief And then
noting Charlie Whittemore standing at (
the entrance gate. the president ducked I
behind some shrubbery and went down |
town by way of thu back street.
How's This.
We offer One Hundred Dollars Re
va d for any case of Catarrh that can