The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1898-02-08

IlIe away pettlng dogs and cats, when
there are 80 many old bachelors and
widowers lying around smoking and
snarling at every body like q pack of
coon dogs. I wish they were every one
drummed out of the country.
I did have some hopes Of changing
my name till last week, but now alasl
my heart is crushed with a weight Of
WOO for my very last chance is gone. I
have had my eyes on Deacon HAyseed
for the last twelve months, in fact even
before his wife died. For I knew the
poor creature was destined to ''shake
OF this mortal coil" soon, and then the
poor Deacon would be left with nine
children OF his own and eight Of his
wife's brothers first Wife's children to
look afther and / thought it would be
q real act Of kindness in me to insneare
the worthy Deaoon's heart and take
him for s'weal or for Woe." So ! ten.
DERBY nursed his wife and was just 90
gentle and sympathetic to her as /
could be be. No one in whole neighbor-
hood was kinder to them than I.
The worthy deacon could not help but
admire me, I was sure, for I Yves 90
obliging and besides that I knew I
looked pretty, for had I not recently
secured me q set of pearly teeth3 And
I am sure my lovely golden curls
were the envy Of every girl in Jones
vile, for had I not sold my last chick
On and mortgaged the old brindIed
COW to get them3 And my black silk
was Q beauty if it did belong to nay
great, great grandmother.
But to make a long story short the
worthy Deacon's wife breathed her last
and her sainted Epirit winged it's way
into worlds unknown and left me as
happy as a kitten with his first mouse
For I was just as sure of the Deacon as
I was Of living.
One evening I was sitting by the fire
knitting a pair of socks q was taking
special pains with them for I thought
perhaps they migt grace the feet of the
Deacon sometime in the near future)
when I glanced out ct the window and
who ahould I SEQ but the Deacon him
self.
He was 1st making his old gray
mule ''hit the grit" 80 to speak. ]
rose and ran up stairs & primp. Ny
heart was eli in a hutter I was so fus
trated. Why, / used up four boxes OF
French powder betore I suited myself.
I was just sure the Deacon had come
TO propose.
MARY Ana Matilda Jane jones'
said to my self, ''You are in luck to
day. old girl. You will soon be mis-
tress Of the Hayseed homestead. YoU
have at last succeeded in gathering the
coils about the Deacon and you have
him safe at last. The bright dream
Of your life is about realized"
What delightful thoughts thronged
my brain as I slowly descended the
stairs, and entered the room where (al
I supposedly my future spouse sat. Ht
met me with outstretched hands anC
led me- to q divan. I thought the -Eu
preme moment had come, I could heal
my heart beating like q sledge ham
mer.
"Ol Miss Mary Ann" he cried, Sc!
have such good news to tell you. It il
a great secret though and I want yoU
to promise faithfully never to reveal il
to o living soul. Won't you soy ye'
and make me happy8 Great things arr
at stake-think we'll before you answer
for it involves my whole future life"
"OI Deacon Hayseed!" I managed
to gasp, this is so sudden"
eyes, my dear madam, know it
very sudden but I only learned TIT
happy news this morning and I oamr
right on to ask you this important
question. Of do say yes," he pleaded
almost on his knees in his earneStness
Yes" I answered coyly, 'tif you ART
real sure you mean it."
"Olmy dear madam, it is 10 kind o
you, I am TO be married next week X
the sweetest girl IN all the world, Mis-
Lucinda Perkins and / want you K
bake the wedding cakeI"
Great snakes and white elephants
Was this tho ending TO the cherished
dream of my life3 Ny half starved cat
and dogs gathered around me, and
with plantive meows and yelps tried h
comfort me, but it was Of no avail
NY heart was broken-my last chRnc'
was gone. / had done all I could, bu
alasI fate had decreed that / shoulC
live apart from human beings a lonely
broken hearted old maid.-Balaam.