Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1898-11-04
THE BALLAD OF TEDDYS TERRORS.
(As told by Roundup Rube.)

There was lovely regiment whose men wus
strong and stout,
Fer some they had diplomas and fer some
wus warrants out
And Wood, he was their colonel bold, an
Teddy was his mate,
And they called them 'Teddy'a Lambkins,"
for their gentleness was great.
II.
Now a good ole man named shafter says to
Teddy and to Wood -
"There's a joint called Santiago where we
amt well understood.
So take yer lamblike regiment, and If you
are polite
think yer gentle little ways II set the mat
ter right"
SO when Teddys boys got movin, and the
sun was on the fry,
And the atmosphere was coaxin' them to lay
right down and die,
Some gents from Santiago, who wus mad
cause they wus there,
Lay down behind some bushes to put bullets
through their hair.
".
Now, Teddy's happy Sunday school wus
movin' on its way,
A seekin' in its peaceful style some Dagos fer
to Stay;
And the gents from Santiago, with aversion
IN Inelf neNrt,
Wus hdin' at the cross roads fer to blow 'em
all apart.
There's a Spanish comic paper that has give
us sundry digs
A-callin of us towards an dishonest Yankee
pigs;
And guess these folks had read ii, and had
tn ught 'twould be immense
Jest to paralize them lambkins they was rum
min up agains'.
VI.
So when our boys had pretty near arrived
where they wus at,
And the time it was propitious fer to start
that there combat,
They let Ter fly a-thinkin' they would make a
dreadful tear,
An then rubber necked to see if any Yankees
was still there.
Now you can well imagine wot dreadful
start they had
To see 'em still "a standin there and lookin'
bold and bad;
Fer when this gentle regiment had heard the
bullets fly,
They had vilent hankerin' to make them
Spaniards die.
So Teddy, he came runnin' with his glasses
on his nose,
And when the Spanish saw his teeth you may
believe they froze;
And Wood was there long with i'm, with his
cheese knife i'm his hand,
While at their heels came yelln' all that
peaceful, gentle band.
IN.
They fought them bloody. Spaniards at their
own familiar game,
And the gents from Santiago didn't like it
quite the same
Fer you plug yer next door neighbor with
rifle bail or two
An he don't feel so robustous as when he's
apluggin' you.
SO when the shells wus hOppin', while the
brecchlOcks clicked and smoked.
An the powder wouldn't blow away until
Teller choked,
That regiment of Yankee pigs was gunnin'
through the bush
And raisin' merry hell with that there San.
tiago push.
Then Teddy seen 'em runnin and he gave a
monstrOus bawl,
And grabbed a red hot rifle where guy had
let 1t fall,
And fxin' OF his spectacles) more firmly on
his face,
He started to assassinate them all around the
place.
bay'n't plant to tree,
Where the thorns would rip feller's pants, a
shockin' sight to see,
He led his boys a.dancin' on, a-shoutin left
and right,
And not missin' many spanish knobs that
showed themselves in sight
XIII.
And when those Santiago gents was finished
to their cost,
Then Teddys BOYS, they took look and
found that they wus lost;
And as their crewel enemies wus freed from
earthly pain,
They all sat down to wait fer friends to lead
'em back again,
MORAL.
That's the tale of Teddy's Terrors and the
valiant deed they done,
But all tales, they should have NOR lls, o.
course this tale has one.
So paste this idea in yer cage, wotever else
you do.
Fer perhaps you'll thank me fer it yet before
yer game is through
The soldier boy that wears the blue is gentle
like and meek,
But doubt nell mind the Bible If you soak
him ON the cheek;
An sh Iuld you get i'm riled bit, you want
to have Il care,
Fer if he ever stlts to fight he'll finish
Gawd knows where
Steve F. Whitman
&Women love clear, healthy com
pleXion. Pure blood makes it. BurdOck
/ ID L.. /. 4.