The herald., 1898-05-14
xRBRNnzEuHHEE HE0Ran
"SPARE OlIvENzA"
3 EEzEHEEEHaRzzEzzHaEEE

London.-Those who are accustomed to
frequent the cafes and caravansaries OF
London. especially the former, in the 9o,io
and Goodbye street districts, have been ac-
customed Of late to hear faint but curl
GUS echo Of the Hispano-American hostill-
ties. st-
Gradually and without any particular
reason the Hotel Cecil has grown to be the
rendezvous for Americans in London. In
the capacious smoking room and American
bar, from noon to midnight, Yankees fore
gather, and with the aid of cigar ends and
the fiat surface of periodicals the plan of
war Is entirely traced out, the maneuvers
of both combatants explained and illus
trated, and the victory Of the Americans
accurately prophesied as occurring any
time from three weeks hence to three
years. Nevertheless. these wars are not
always one-sided. A Spanish ex-off1cial
has Of late been residing at the hotel, and
the other afternoon he "chipped into" a
discussion which was going on at the next
table.
Pardon, gentlemen" he began. "but do
I understand that it Is your intention to
conquer Cuba?''
The spokesman of the party, which was
busily imbibing mixed drinks, CURLY re-
sponded that this was somewhere about
the general idea.
"And 1t Is also your resolve to wipe out
Havana?"
Eyes; guess we had agreed on that"
THANK you. believe 1t is also your in
tention to carry the war into Spain and
lombard Madrid"
"Well, we had thought of doing some
thing of that kind"
do I gather pursued the Spaniard,
"that you contemplate capturing all the
Spanish ports-Barcelona, Tarragona, Cas-
tellon. Valencia, Alicante, Carthagena and
Cadiz?"
The American fire-eaters looked from
one to the other.
Yes" responded the spokesman, we'll
known actor, Il guess that compares with
our list"
"You have also, have you not. arranged
to carry the war into the interior, after, of
course, having captured all the Spanish
possessions abroad and sacked and RACED
all the chief cities? think overheard one
of your number suggest that 1t would be a
good thing If the entire Spanish population
were wiped OUT
The little crowd looked puzzled.
"Well," admitted q gentleman hailing
from Kentucky, what of it. amt de-
nying I did offer up little scheme of that
kind. What are you driving at, senor?"
Just So" came the general chorus.
What have you to say against our little
plan of campaign
The Spaniard seemed moved. He drew
out large bandanna handkerchief and
pressed 1t to his eyes.
II will tell you, gentlemen. have a
mother. When you have overwhelmed
Cuba in ten years or so, and captured our
colonies. and bombarded Madrid, and dec
mated the Spanish population, want you
to remember the village of Olivenza, in the
province of Badajoz. Gentlemen. I en-
treat you to spare that village Make
note of Olivenza, and in the triumph of
your conquest let your hear/s be generous.
Spare Olivenza-spare my mother" 3,
The Spaniard made low bow and was
about to retire, but in the roar of laughter
which followed, in which the whole smok-
ing room Joined, hand was laid upon his
shoulder.
. 1t was the hand of tie gentleman from
Kentucky.
Mister" he began, so!emnly, "excuse
me. Whatever they say of US Americans
In your country, one charge canot be laid
at our door-our inability to appreciate
good joke. You have 1t on us; I own to it;
honor you for it. And now" added the
Kentuckian, with a sweep Of his hand to-
ward the bar, kindly name your poison"
Once more the satirical Castilian bowed
punctiliously.
II thank you senor," he responded, "but
it is impossible. 1 could not drink with
the enemies of my country. When we have
conquered you 1t is who will order the
drinks. Meanwhile, remember Olivenza."
Chicago Chronicle.