Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1898-07-15
DAVY JONES' PROTEST
UNCLE SANS WAY OF FILLING THE
LOCKER DOES NOT SUIT.

ONCIC DAM = WAY Of ftIIING 6E
LOCKER DOES NOT SUIT.
He Sends a Protest to Headquar-
tiers at Washington and De.
clar.s that He Will Resign if
Our Country Gets Into War
With Germany.
New York Sun.
Telephone Call 14,74G, July s, 9
A. NJ
B-z-Z-z-zt"
Hello! WHAT wanted?"
as this Davy Jones locker?"
"Yes. Who's talking?"
"This is Admiral SIMPSONS fleet.
Please call Mr. Jones to the phone.
Hello! That you Mr..
Jones?"
ayes, this is Davy Jones'"
admiral Sampson sends his re-
spccts and begs to inform you that the
Spanish fleet is coming out of Santi-
ago harbor. Kindly prepare for its
ception."
Pretty crowded but I'll do my best.
Good-by."
"Good-by" B-z-z-z-zt.
Telephone Call l4,747, July 3, 10 80
A. NJ
B-z-z-z-zt!
"Hello! Is this Admiral SIMPSONS
ileet?"
AYES. Who is this talking?"
"Davy Jones. Present respects to
Admiral Sampson, and inform him
that Pluton, first of consignment, has
been received. Good by"
Telephone call 14,74S, July 3, 10 40
A. VI.
B-z-z.z-zt. "Hello. Simpsons
fleet? This is Davy Jones. Furor re-
ceived. Goodby."
Telephone Call ii, 749, July 3, II NJ
B-z-z-z-zt! Hello! SIMPSONS
fleet? Yes; this is Jones. Almirante
Oquendo received. Coming pretty
fast. Any more coming? What's
that? Gosh? Good-by."
Telephone Call 1880, July 3, l ID
Pm.
B-z-z-z-zt! Hello Sampson! Say,
slow down there, can't you? Infanta
Maria Teresa just arrived. Don't hus-
tie man so. This is no summer no
tel. Good-by."
Telephone Call 14,751, July 3, IL 30
r. NJ.
B-z-z-z-zt "Hello! Vizcaya ar
rived. Have put out standing Room
Only" sign. This is getting beyond a
joke. Two of my assistant mermen
have struck. What are you trying to
do; bottle me up, too? No! Apollo
gies don't go. Good-by."
Telephone Call 14,752, July 3, 2 =,
NJ.
B-z-z-z-zt! "Hello! That you,
Sampson? No? l want the Admiral,
himself. Hello! Look here
Sampson, I'm boss here, and l want
you to understand that I've closed
shop. Seer The Cristobal Colon's
here, and she's the last. Understand
that? I've shut and locked the locker
and Pm going back now to sit on the
cover. That goes, too. Good-by."
Telephone Call 1853, July 4, 10
A. NJ
B-z-z-z-zt! "Hello! This the
White House, U. S. APP
eyes; What's wanted"
"Davy Jones' respects to President
Mckinley, and he'd like to talk with
him over the phone for minute. u
HelloW
"This President Mckinley? Con-
CALCULATIONS, Mr.. President, on your
glorious Fourth"
"Many thanks, Mr.. Jones. Can !
be of any service to you"
eyes, Mr.. President; ! want you to
call off your navy"
"Beg PARDON Mr.. Jones, l don't
think quite understand you"
"Mr. President, I've got too much
business. l want respite"
but what have p
"Pll tell you. On May l got con
signment of Spanish ships from Ad-
mlral Dewey"
"Yes."
"I've just got them nicely slowed
away, and now comes Sampson with a
rush order that's just swamped my &C.
cOmmOdations, and am hiring extra
help as fast as l can"
"I'm sorry we disconnected you, Mr..
Jones'"
"Now, Mr.. President, as between po-
tentate and potentate, want to ask
you if you've any more Spanish ships
in sight?"
"Well, there's another feet around
at Suez that
"Great green-eared sea serpents
Another? DO you think want a
Spanish colony down here? l won't
stand it,"
"But, Mr.. Jones'"
mo but about it, Mr.. President,
won't stand it! You send 'em down
here and I'll turn 'em back. There's
limit to my endurance. No, sir, I'll
turn the locker over to the mermen
and 60 out of business, and that settles
it,"
Every we'll, Mr.. Jones. In that
case we'll have to keep the Spanish
fleet ourselves"
"That's the idea, Mr.. President.
Congratulations on your victory and
gOOd-wait minute. Mr.. President,
will you do me favor?"
with pleasure, Mr.. Jones. What
is itY
eff your nation gets into trouble
with Germany let me know in time SO
| can resign and 60 climb tree"
Certainly. GoOd.by, Mr.. Jones"
"Thanks! GoOd-by. Mr.. President
B-Z-Z-Z-zt.
=