The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1898-03-03

successor to the late lamented "GOOley."
He has already made such profound
impression on the two comps who be-
long to the prison choir that as yet
they are unable to overcome blush of
shame when they hear his melodious
MARBLE. "Gooley IL" is a good bird
and bids fair to surpass even the genius
of his predecessor who failed to return
from the sparrows' convention.
Now that patriotic people all over
the country are placing themselves on
record as willing to volunteer in case
of war with Spain, "we'' are willing
and do hereby agree to raise battal-
lion of 425 husky, able bodied fighters,
who are willing to 60 to the front and
fight. We will also guarantee that not
one of this number will seek a soft
snap in the rear looking after the am
munition wagon. These are picked
men ready for service as soon as the
slight formality of procuring legal
discharge from our present contract
here can be secured. We have men,
toned only 425 out of our five hundred
and odd population as the balance who
are not invalids would just as soon be
in prison as to be outside where they
might be in danger of injuring their
"precious" health by poisoning.
"When the devil was poor the devil
a socialist would be; when the devil
was rich the devil socialist was he."
This revision of the devil and the
monk story is applicable to the follow.
ing news item taken from the Chicago
Inter Ocean:
Giot, the well-known socialist, has
won the first prize of 100000 francs in
lottery in connection with the Paris
exhibition of 1900. He recently made
violent speeches at Ivry, during the
campaign for municipal officers there,
declaring that a division of property
was urgently necessary. A brother
socialist has now asked him for a por-
ton of his lottery prize, but Giot's
views have suddenly changed, and he
is now firm defender of property
rights and there is little chance of his
dividing his prize with his former fell
| lows.
Success in business life as we'll as in
the humblest occupations demands
very hard work. 1t is false notion
to assume that aside from the CON-
monest worldly vOcations success may
be achieved by simply dressing well
and looking wise. Yet this is the silly
belief of many who continually whine
about their own hard luck as compared
with the soft snaps" held by others.
There are few political sinecures in
life, but in the ordinary avenues of
trade and commerce it is only the hard
workers who attain even moderate
success. The fact that man is not
shoveling coal or carrying freight is
not sign that he has an easy time.
Mental labor has always been consid-
cred the most arduous. Many a man
wearing starched shirt does more
and harder work than the husky long
shOremen in our seaport cities.
A 'burglary'' recently attempted in
Minneapolis shows most wildly the
foolish risks men will take. Had these
''burglars" -these professional crooks
as the press termed them in publishing
their pictures-been successful in rob-
bling the coachman's room of the barn
they undertook to loot, their booty at
fair calculation would have been about
ten pounds of lead pipe, twenty feet
of garden hose and five dollars worth
of wearing apparel, for which entire
lot they would have Melted about two
dollars from "uncle." One of them,
who pleaded guilty, has already re-
ceived six and half years here for the
assault committed in an attempt to es-
cape detection. If the judge carries
out the same proportion the second de-
PENDANT will fare much worse if found
guilty. And this risk was taken for
the princely return of two dollars that
would have rewarded them if success
full! But their pictures were published
as professional crooks and that will
probably alleviate their agony to some
extent while here.
! The editor of the San Francisco
Argonaut has a very satirical article
in the latest issue of that bright weekly
in which he expresses the fear that
owing to the pampering of offenders
in that state the convicts will event
ually become "California's aristocratic
leisure class" Concluding the article