The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1898-02-22

yeiled out In very friendly tone of
voice. Come in here, where it's
nice and warm You'll take your
death OF cold standing out there with
your mouth OPEN" With that he
opened the door, reached out his hand
and jerked me inside with the most cor
dial manner ever experienced.
| was never SO agreeably disap-
pointed in my life. Old Nick was not
u bad looking man at all. He was in
full evening dress, wearing q bunch of
| for get-me-nots in his buttonhole. He
also wore pair Of red horns topped
with gold arrow points and nickle,
plated tail as long as a cows, tipped
with silver spear head. His residenl
looked on the inside like q magni-
| iicently gorgeous and beautiful opera
house. The like of the pictures, the
tapestries, the carved bronzes and
statues, the potted palms and ever
greens. rare furniture, the rich carpet
ing, the soft lights, was never seen by
the eye of mortal mar. Sweet music
like the birds and brooks make stole
through the apartment from s)me un-
seen hiding place.
Then the refreshments All, bows,
the refreshments There was q table
as long as Galveston Island loaCed
down with 'em, and Old Nick and sat
down and ate meal that would make
Ward McAllister turn over in his
the devil led me into one of his ante
rooms and inquired about the health
of several OF our mutual friends on
earth. Chen | asked him.
" Where are all the people ?"
Never mind, Tom,' he bVSsi..
They're in oed now. | kne& you
were coming and sent them all away
so that | might have the benefit Of
your conversation all to myself for an
hour or two. I'm told, Tom, you're u
fine story teller, and rs Pm the Father
of Lies, we might pass the time be-
tween now and the arrival Of the morn
ing trains swapping few yarns.
Mind I'll have nothing old from you,
Tom"
With that we strolled out into the
big audience chamber, going in the
direction of the front door, he telling
first one tale and | another as we
meandered. The devil beat me every
time, and | was letting him do it on
purpose. was laying for him with
the best story | ever heard in my life,
and | knew it would jar him when
let it go. | had got the story from
suffering tobacco drummer named
Fred Ferguson, and it WAS just the
hiliredest, funniest story that was ever
lloated since Lots wife got salted for
being too fresh. SO when we had
walked back nearly to.the front door of
hell began it.
" AS | unwound L. yarn Old Nick
laughed until the nickel plating on his
tail cracked and fell off. | grew more
and he jumped against the
ceiling and popped his hoots together
until the air was filled with chunks of
thunder and links of chain lightning.
When | reached the climax Satan
turn a triple somersault, fell on he
IlOor and rOared with laughter till The
internal regions seemed TO be rocked
by an earthquake. Presently he got
up and | saw he was IN rage from
jealousy. He pulled open the big front
door with a clang.
"'Tom GJggan, he roared in voice
Of thunder, heil's not big enough to
hold two such ornamental liars as you
and myself
With this he took me by the slack
Of the trousers and the sCruif of the
neck and shot me out through the door.
When | fell | landed so hard that all
the pegs were Jared out of my boots
and my upper and lower sets of teeth
went whizzing through space like so
many shooting stars.
llulpSu OH lHIO Jnc udFk uDGll
became frightened with the thought
that | might walk over precipice
aud fall into q worse place than hell.
| felt around and found flat rock. |
sat down on it and grew az cold as an
E5kimo's Christmas.
This walked me up, and | found
myself sitting in my night robe on the
marble-top Of my wash stand in my
room at my hotel, u northern blowing
through the window"
Tom," said Nick Weeks, "tell US
the story you told the devil
Mick" replied Tom, solemn "it
was the finest thing you could ever
hear in all your life. But | think hit
the ground SO hard after the devil let
go Of me that the story was jolted out
Of my memory"
you must have endured great
mental anguish during your dream,
Mr.. Goggan,' suggested one Of the
party.
Indeed, sir, did. | didn't mind
it so much the short time was in hell,
but the few moments | sat Oh that rock,
waiting for day to come, fear came
into my mind that almost drove me to
suicide"
What was that?" everyone asked.
"Well | thought, Here you are
Tom Goggau in Il devil OF fix. You
went to heaven and the Lord threw
you cut before yol got in. You won't
TO hell and the IN, ster OF ceremonies
fired you just when you were beginning
to feel at home, and now after suf-
fering all this-heaven above Will
you have to go back to Houston ?"