Daily Kennebec journal., 1898-11-05
TEACHING EMMA 70 RIDE.
Bicycle Lessons That Distract a Whole
Neighborhood.
piM.cII Of a Learner as inflicted Upon
Sleepy DweIIers in Brooklyn.

that her name Is Emma; they couldn't
help knowing 1t unless they were deaf
mutes. Charley is doing the teaching.
It doesn't require an ear trumpet to
discover that his name is Charley.
The lessons begin about 10 in the eve
ming. when 1t is rainless, and last ac-
cording to the endurance OF the particle
pants. At that hour Brooklyn streets
are pretty we'll deserted except in the
downtown region. This is side
street uptown. 1t is paved with hard
asphalt. If the asphalt were soft it
would be one long bas-relief of various
portions of Emma's aAatomy. Owing
to the darkness the lessons are not
visible; they make up for this lack by
excess OF audibility. Murmur-ex-
clamation-- protest. adjuration- ap-
peal-shriek ek-rattle e-bump-crash- re-
crhnination-and occasionally objurga-
ton. that's the way Emma learns TO
ride the wheel.
In the eafs of the neighborhood,
sometimes amused. sometimes sleepily
indignant sometimes mildly indiffer-
ent, the lesson ptrsues it's cacophonous
course something like this:
Now. then, are you all ready?
Jump on
wait d minute. 10000 ooh. Don {
let me 60, ple-e-e-ease!
"Ali fight; rye got you. Now you're
on. Go ahead"
20, Charley, what makes it wabble
SO tonight? / know the saddles on
crooked"
mo. 1t isn't either. Fixed it myself.
Pedal faster. iii keep alongside of
you. That's 1t; your doing nobly,
Emma
"Ye-e-e-s, but Just know I'm going
to fall off in a minute. Ow! There's
a tree."
Keep off the walk then. That wheel
isn't built to climb trees with
Don't make fun of me. Charley
It's perfectly nor Ee-ee-ee-ee! Ow.
Catch me quick! IA thump. followed
by gentle cfash.] There, now you
have done it,"
We'll. if that isn't just like a girl!
Don't blame it on me because you can't
indulge in the delights of conversation
and keep your balance at the same
time. You might reserve your remarks
till later" f
You needn't get SO cross over one
little fall. It didn't hurt you, 1 guess.
You took good care to be out of the
way +D
IF you'll map out a plan of your
floppings I'll try to be on hand for each
one. Here You are. On with you
again." IA brief respite.] Now you're
getting on first rate
Yes if you only wouldn't talk to me.
1t, distracts my attention. Ouch! I'm
getting wabhly again."
STEADY. Albright now?''
Thank you. Yes. l guess So" IA
pause.] Charley"
"Well?"
Don't you think I'll know how to
ridsls pretty well by next week."
[Rackety- whack- -bang.]
mo, nor next century. Hurt you?"
''No-o-o, not much. How did that
curb get there? 1 though 1 was right
in the middle of the street."
so you were, but while you were
occupied in talking. the gutter slipped
quietly out and barred your path. Bad
habits these cutters around here
have
IF you're going to be 4lorrid and sar-
castle l shall go in. I'd like to know
if this Is what you call teaching girl
to ride.'
God knows, it isnt!"
You're not making it any better by
swearing, Charley"
ut wasn't exactly a swear; just a
sort of slip, due to stress of emotion.
Anyway. I'll beg your pardon and well
start again.
This time I'll be real venturous and
go as far as the corner. Now watch
me-"
Beautiful, beautiful! Turn around
now. Come on; turn around!"
''Oh. I can't. The wheel won't 60
right. Catch me-
Just in time that trip. You were
all right until you let yourself get nerv-
Gus. If you'd only made up your
mind to it you could ride as we'll as
anybody
DO you really think 50? How dear
of you! But some way, just as I get
e my mind nicely made np the wheel be-
e gins to cut up. and off l CO.
Try it down this way for a change"
You'll keep along near me, won't
you?'
"Yes, I'll be within reach to claim
the remains if you meet your finish.'
1T isn't very comforting to have you
talk that way. Oo-oo; don't make me
talk"
I'll offer you prize for ten seconds
of consecutive silence. if you think il
would have any effect
"Oh. dear. l hear something COM
ing down the street. Cha-a-arley
what is it? A wagon"
More likely to be that than a four.
masted schooner. or a train of cars"
"Oh- -h-h-h-h! Help! Stop me
somebody! Stop your horse, Mr.
Driver. Do-o-o-n't let him run owe
me! Oo-oo-oo-ee-ee-ee -ee-wow!"
stop it. Emma. You're not within
a mile of the horse. Great snakes
she's barked another tree!" (There is
heard the diminishing rattle of g
wheel sliding down from the curb
mingled with faint pipings of terror.)
Didn't l run into him. Charlie?"
IF the tree is a masculine growth
you certainly did"
II don't know what you mean
What became. of the horse? I must
have hit him awfully hard. Is he
dead?"
Not unless he succumbed to heart
disease. Last l saw of him he was
breaking record around the corner
there. That siren whistle of your.
nnlShed him Had pnouph of II for RI