Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1898-10-01
THE LIAR AND HIS DOG

1
| Gentlemen of the Liars Club" said No.
Q. clearing his throat as he arose to speak.
| you will all recall the unusual yet I'M
quesdenably veraeious narration of our
honored member, No. IT, Qaere No. II arose
in his seat snd bowed all around. lat our
| last midsummer meeting, with respect to
| the dog which he purchased for a fox ter
| rler last spring, and which grew into the
! proportions of rhinoceros of the masta-
| donic period within three weeks after he
| acquired it. You will oil remember. gen.
tiemen, the heartfelt sympathy we felt for
| our nofored member when he informed US
| that he was unable to purchase any sum-
mer clothing for his family for the reason
| that 1T required two bushels of butchers
| meat daily to prevent the dog from starry
| ing TO death. Before, gentlemen of the
| Liars Club We call upon our honored
| member to relate unto our sympathetic
| ears the story of the progress this extra
| ordinary animal has made in the matter of
| growth since the midsummer meeting [
| nope L may be permitted to tell of a dog
| winch L myself purchased three weeks ago
| last Tuesday, which has exhibited traits
In the matter of growing that are dia-
metrcaay opposed to those related by our
| honored member of his mastadonic fox
| terrier
| The chairman of the Liars Club granted
No permission to proceed
| CHOW members, proceeded No. g. 'it
was IN acqulescence to the many times re-
! peated request of my wife to procure for
ner fuil-grown dog of the mastif species
| tnat finally decided to crafty her by pur-
| chasing dog of this kind. AS we have a
| considerable back yard attached to our
| residence, and as my wife is partial to very
| large dogs, l made it my aim to procure
| Tor her the very largest mastiff that
could possibly get for a reasonable figure
| Not showing much on the subject of dogs
III.
one IN the hands of a responsible kennel
Feeper Of the city of Washington: Three
| weeks ago last Tuesday the kennel keeper
| Drought to my house a brute which he
| SAID was of the Durest mastif breed that
| was fuliy as large, gentlemen as a yearlins
| caf never before had seen such an
| enormous dog. Yet he was as gentle and
| as amiable as a kitten. and upon the ken
| nel keeper s assurance that the dog was
| the real thing, and that he was not liable
| to eat more than 81 worth of fodder per
| diem, l purchased the mastiff and turned
| MIN loose in my back yard. Gentlemen big
| as my back yard is. the dog seemed to take
up the whole of it. In size If not in con-
| formation, he strongly reminded me of the
| male elephant out at the Zoo. AS my wife
| was highly pleased with the animal how
! ever, repressed whatever gloomy thoughts
| might have had with respect to the prob
able cost of keeping the dog alive-for 1
| mad in mind the sad story of our honored
| member, No. L. and his fox terrier that
l attained the proportions of a rhinoceros.
| Gentlemen. our bed room looks out upon
| the back yard. During the first night of
| our ownership of the dog l was pleased,
| rather than annoyed by his occasional
| deep barks There was protection and
homellness in the sound. Along toward
| morning. however as [ listened to the
dogs occasional barks, it struck me that
| they were pitched in a somewhat higher
| Key than had been the case in the first part
or the night. Gentlemen, when I arose in
the morning and looked out of the back
| window something remarkable seemed to
| me to have happened to that dog He lay
| doing in the sun, but he looked different
| / aroused my wife
! My dear 1 inquired Of her. does 1t
| strike you that that mastif of ours looks
| any different from what he did last night?
She took one look at the dog and then
| turned to me with an expression of be-
| wlderment
Why SAID. she, he is a great deal
| smaller than he was, is he not?'
| Gentlemen, she had hit it precisely right
| The dog was smaller by at least one-fourth
| than he had been on the preceding night.
need not tell you that both my wife and
| myself We're baftied, not to say shocked.
| The shrinkage in the size of the dog SEEM
ed so unprecedented, unusual, that /
am sure our minds reverted to those an
clent legends bearing upon the bewitching
| or brutes. However l brought the dog
| into the kitchen, measured him for future
| reference. fed him and turned him again
! into the back yard. He was stin large
| amman, anu L WIS not disposed to abuse
| Rim for sacrificing SO much of his growth
| during a single night. My nature is nat
| uraily kindly with reference to dumb
| brutes.
! "Gentlemen when I returned from my
| office that same evening my wife looked
| worried. l asked her to explan and she
| said that the mastiff was still diminishing
| In s1ze-that she had had him into the
| Kitchen during the afternoon and that he
| was fully an inch shorter than the notch
| mad marked on the wall in measuring
| him In the morning. l found this to be
| true We were worried over it. We were
| disturbed. And yet the decrease in the
| dogs size continued. His appetite remain
| ed good and he seemed to be we'll but he
| kept on growing smaller every day BY the
! time we had had him for ten days he was
| about the size of an ordinary bull terrier
| and yet he seemed as healthy a dog as
ever L met. A week ago gentlemen that
| dog had shrunk to the dimensions of only
| a fair-sized black and tan. l refrained
from taxing him to dog DOCTOR for /
| feared ridicule. l feared / would not be
| believed. You we'll know, gentlemen, what
| we of this club have to contend with In
| the way of unbelef.
However my dog kept on decreasing in
| size until four days ago he was no larger
| than fox terrier pup. l never saw such
| an extraordinary atrophy of dogs car
| csss in my life. and, as always, come here
| to have the matter explained. Within four
| days, gentlemen Of the Liars Club that
| dog has been reduced to this his present
| size
| No. pulled out of his sack-coat pocket
| little, shivering, hairless Mexican dog
| that weighed about half pound, and held
| the dog up for the inspection of the club.
| Il recommend" said the chairman of the
| Liars Club, that before this extraordinary
| canine of No. 3s becomes reduced to the
| size OF a cockroach and crawls into the
| sink trap thus clogging the clubs plumb
| ing appliances, he be removed from the
| building"
| No. therefore withdrew with the doc
| and the meeting went on.
Sensible Mule,
| From tho Nau yort T,,h,na