River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1898-02-17
4 pentilian Dnast.

OIOCDullt louSt IUbiI. L he TtpLlltc
had been busy with the duties Incl
dentupon the initiation Of several new
crawlers; the heavy dews Of perspra-
tion stood out like beads Of ambe up
on the flushed countenances of the
ntiatory team and signs Of relief
were audible as the last candidate
took the final obligation. When the
gavel of the s. NJ. c. sent waves Of
sound surging through the humid at
mosphere and called to silence the
murmurings Of the assent lage. Gator
O. s. Follansbee arose from out the
mire Of the swamp and thus addressed
/ them:
yellow CRoCoDILEs: We must
part l am about to leave you
have labored among you now for sew
eraI months, and feel that it is al
most enough, under the peculiar cir
cumstances. Not that [ am exactly
dissatisfied but when a man has been
working among the reptilia month
after month for love of the order, he
naturally feels that something is
wrong when Gator Chapman. acting
as an officer Of the lodge, pays his last
| quarter dues in a promissory note
at three months, and then offers to
| discount it at 10 per cent. if the order
will take it part out in stale drugs
and porous plastcrs. l feel as if it
would take about 81 years Of severe
preaching to prepare the aforesaid
gator for existence in a felictous here
after.
Let me say, also, that while | am
deeply grateful to the mem bers for
the surprise party they gave me ON
my last birthday | have calculated
that it would he more profitable for
me to shut my house and take to the
woods and swamps around Lake
George than endure another one.
II viii not refer to the impulsivc
generosity that persuaded Gator
Adams to come with a present Of
Il cellulHd collar, a size too small.
Il shall not ihsinuate anything
against Gator Larson, who brought |
a peck of dried apples Of the crop Of
y, and four phosphorescenU mackerel |
possibly With the idea that these ante
diluyian fish would be Of use in dis
pelling the gloom ia my cellar.
II Will not aIlude to the henevolencc |
Of Gator puryes, who came with a
pen wiper and broken base bali bat
Il shall refrain from commenting |
upon the impression made by Gator
Finch who brought some antiquatcd |
sheet music and a cracked lamp |
chimney.
Il omit reference to Gator Dodges !
present OF an original treatise on
"Ilow to Make Hens Lay and a |
small quantity Of printers pi; and !
admit that when Gator Roy White
brought sweetened sausage meat and |
sailed and peppered mince-meat for
pies, he did right in not forcing his
own family to suffer from his mistake
in mixing the materials.
But | think ! may fairly remark
respecting the case Of Gator Love,
that after careful thought | am I'M
able 70 perceive how he considered |
that his presenter a box OF tooth soap |
justified him in consuming half pie,
six buttcred rolls, two bowls Of oys-
tiers, and large supply Of miscelan-
cons food, previous to jamming him
self fun Of preserves, and then pro-
ceeding TO the parlor softly cumming
Still There's More to Follow
As for matters In the lodge--I do
not care to discuss them at length. l
might say much about the way the
mem bers responded 10 my appeal for
supplies for our poor people at
Thanksgiving time. They evidently
interpreted my quotation, charity
begins at home, literally, as nothing
was brought 10 the lodge room for
distribution except a broken buggy
whip decorated with ribbon, donated
by Gator Houston and my own con
lribution Of a sack Of mouldy -four,
which forbear to mention. | might
allude To the friyiIous manner i'm
which Gator Chapman conversed with
Miss Plumby at our last banquet, dur
ing the address Of welcome, and slyly
kissed her when he thought no one
was looking
II might alIude to the absent
mindedness which has permitted
Gator Fusselman lately to pay his
dues in bread checks and shaving
tickets, and | might dwell upon the
circumstance that while Gator John
son, the undertaken, sings j Would
Not Live Always with professional
enthusiasm and force, he is usually in
dustriously examining the nail heads
10 the floor when the weekly cash is
taken up. | also wish to mention
the way in which he''--but at this
point Gator Johnson turned off the
gas and the meeting broke up amid
great Indignation at the orator.
The Greatest Discovery Yet.
W. NJ. Replur, editor Tiskilwa, H.,
"Chief." says: we won't keep house
without DR.. Kings New Discovery
for Consumption, Coughs and Colds.
Experimental with many others, but
never got the true remedy until we
used DR. Kings New Discovery. No