The age-herald., 1898-07-31

rounds of the undertaking establishments and see if there are any stlffs tonight" he said. I arose mechanically, and lighting a cigarette, departed. The first undertaking shop I arrived at all was dark inside, and l hesitated a long while before getting up enough courage to make my way to the rear of the place, and awaken the night man, to see if there was anything going on.
 Finally I screwed my courage to the sticking place and marched in. I could hear the rats running around the collins and could occasionally see their bright eyes peering at me from out the darkness. Finally an unearthly noise, an indescriba- ble, soul narrowing, nerve straining sound grated on my ears. imagined it to be the wailing of some lost soul, which had made it's way from the realms of darkness and was haunting this stiff shop because it's proprietor had buried it in a coffin with a sharp nail in it. I was about to scream with terror and flee from the scene when 1 suddenly remembered that the man who slept in the establishment snored, and with the discovery that I was simply a scarry fool I went on towards the rear room. As I said before. It was dark, painfully dark. Finally, when I thought was near the bed, reached out my hands to awaken the sleeper. I touched the head of a per- son and gave him a vigorous shake with the injunction, Wake up, you rascal" But he didn't wake. I showed little hard CT and there was a loud crash. Instantly a light flashed up and about ten feet from me I saw a man sitting on the side of bed with a big pistol in his hand and the muzze pointed at me. Hello Billy" I said, weakly, "Hello old boy he replied. T thought you were body snatcher and was just about to shoot you"
 At my feet saw an overturned stretcher and on the floor in a doubled-up position lay the naked body of a man with a ghast- ly look on his face. I had made a mis- calculation, and while trying to awaken Billy, I had overturned the stretcher in an endeavor to awaken the dead man. helped Billy to replace the body on the stretcher and after learning the name of the dead man, the cause of his death, etc, I left the undertaker's and made my way to the fire department.
 Just as I arrived an alarm was turned in and I climbed upon the hose wagon and went to the fire. It proved to be Casey's saloon, and I cannot describe with what remorse I watched the familiar old structure burn. The firemen fought man. fully but their efforts were unavailing, and the building rapidly went up in smoke.
 I ran into the building in an effort to save couple of bottles of beer, and just as I made my exit with the beer under my coat and a determination to seek some secluded spot where I could rid myself of the useless bottles, a brick came sailing down from the second-story and struck my head amidships. I sank to the ground with only enough presence of mind to uncork one of the bottles and drink it dry.
 Some of the firemen rescued me from such close proximity to the flames, an am- bulance was called and I was carried to the Charity hospital, where I now lie hover ing between the points of nationality and utter foolishness.
 A newspaper office is about as near Hades anything the top side of the earth ever gets to be. A poor newspaper slave is owned by so many masters that half the time he can't think of them all. am going to quit the miserable life, rent the Behren's Park car line and earn a decent living.
 Before and After