New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1898-08-30
THE talk OF THE DAY.

Considerable trouble recently caused In
Chicago court when p II. Barnes. prominent
.awycr OF that city brought suit against butcher
because hts meat caused "schlsros toma- pinsue-
ccistoritis"
Mo,her-Iohnny. stop using such dreadful Ian
Johnny-well. mother. Shakespeare uses H. ..
Moiher-Then don't play with him; he's no Tx
companion ior you-(Ilt Bits
Not long ago. according to a London paper. a
bishop was riding on n tramcar. ana when the con-
ductor approached for the fare he proceeded 20
dive FOR his copper Whether 1t was that the coin
was hard to Ind or that the expression on the
BISHOPS face as he searched for 1t was ono sus-
gestlye OF regret that uamrides have TO DC PAID
FOR is uncertain. but a navy sitting near suddenly
rose slapped him on the shoulder and said: "All
right guy'nor. I'm going 70 stand treat Ihat IN
noccnt navy thought the Bishop WAS "oroke'
Hell wish 1 could occupy the first place In your
hcart, but know that your admirers name is
legion. 49, -, III ..,,n..
you ten uumbers.-tPrck
"A piece OF cable" says Tho Philadelphia Rec
ord" recently found In an historic dwelling at the
Falls OF Schuylkil recalls tho first suspension
bridge OF "A single arch ever attempted IN tlis cou-
Try The idea originated with Thomas feine' Inc
great commoner OF mankind while no was spend
ing the summer OF 1856 at tho hotel near the FANS
OF the SchuylkL The idea Yves suggested 10 MIN
by the mechanism OF SPIDERS web. and he began
- work upon plans FOR m iron bridge TO span the
river a, that point. To lay his model oetore inc
French Academy Of Sciences. Paine went to france
,n 49, but that country was already on the ROAD
70 revolution and had time for the study OF
bridges In England Pano forgot bis scienuhc
mission and became absorbed In political AFFAIRS.
which ended with his imprisonment and gave TO
IN, world The Rights OF Man. bu. lost TO Il FOR
many years advanced scientific bridge building
WATERMELON MORALS.
You Wiyun. como here sub, dis !nstunca WI dat
you got under dat box'
7 40 vor nj no ,oOln'-you hear nor
wut you say Amt nu'h'n but roc iis., s,os,n.
'reahs ter me y0n ,,r o"da'hu' . 'ie''' ''''"A
,u t Eey ,akc n look az dem rocks HI III der you
think dat Is blino!
calls dat plain watermllion- you scamp en-
knows whah It growcd:
7, COM rum de Immersion cawn-he.' dan on ter
You stole i, You ra-cal-you stole III I watched
You FUN down in de lot
En- time sits housh Wild YOU Niger you W."
en- be grease spot.
IN Ak you. Mlrandy, Mlrnndy! go cut mo hickry
En- cut me- de toushes en- keenes' you en- ins any
ri lsrn Won. Mr. Wlyum Joe vctters. ter steal
en- ter lie. you y9nns sinner Hr,,v q, maxim, he-
leave cookiu dinner!
Now ain't YOU 'shamed er yo'sef. suh7 Is. Is
'shamcd YOU my son! $500
En- de holy accorjan angel he's 'shnmed er wus you
En- hc's tuck II down UP yander in coal-back blood
Nctters."
En- wut YOU sposcn Br'er Bascom. yo' teacher at
Sunday-schOol,
VA say - he knowei how you's broke &c good
Lawd's gol'n rule?
Roy whah's de raisn' | give you? Is you boun'
fuh ter be 4 black villain?
rs s'prlsod dat chile yo' nanny 'ud steal any
mans watermillon.
En- l. now swner cut IT right open. en- you shnin't
Fuh a boy who'll steal watermillions-en DAT In
de days broad light
Ain't~IAwdy' us green, Mirandy. Mirandy como
wi dat switch 800
Well. stealin' green watermelon, whoever
yeered tel or des sich?
CANT tell wen dey's ripe? wy. you thump UNI.
wen deg 80 pank dey Is green:
But wen dey GO punk you mine me, dey's ripe.
dat'a des wut ! mean.
En- mex time you hook DISQUALIFICATION heered
me, You ign'ant. You hunk
Et you do want llchn' all over. be sho dat dey
alters go punk"
-(Chicsgo Times-Herald.
c. Godfrey Gumpc,, English scientist. has
spent years In studying the effects Of
salt upon the body. and Is about to publish book
which he thinks viii be revolutionary. lie at
tributes diphhcra. apoplexy and various other dis
eases deficiency of common salt In the system.
One OF Its Advantages Among other things"
said the man who Always tries TO look on the
bright side of subject. III should be for
gotten that this has given great deal OF
enjoyment 10 the chronic kickers."
There is almost invariably n silver lining II one
Will only hunt for it.-(Chlcago Post.