The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1898-09-29

ridiculous. To Mr.. kress it is but a
passing incident of his everyday life.
Now that We have made public his ignor-
ant blunder he will provide some loop.
hole of escape Watch for IT.
l have determined to henceforth follow
the advice of a prominent Mauitowoc
citizen who said TO me, DANDY no words
with krese for" said he "you may corner
that parrot by truths and facts until all
avenues of honorable escape are closed
and he will ind an outlet regardless of
truth or manhood In fact he does not
know enough tC comprehend when he
appears ridiculous or when be is whip
ped.
l recall 40 incident, the narration Of
which will more fttpgly exempiIfy The
nature OF our esteemed friend than could
perhaps be done by addressing my re-
marks to Mr. kress IN person
Herb Markham once owned dog. A
long, lean, lank, light complicated. y
meddlesone dog whose medd!esome
ways had caused his master no lit.
tie annoyance. Herb determined to cor
rect the evil and bought a rawhIde. One
day after Herb had diligently applied the
lash for half hour he sat down and be
| tween his gasps for breath remarked.
"II's no use. l might whip that damn
fool for an hour md when L finish be
just hobs up and through his pranks
and antics he seems to say, THANK Won
sir; very much obliged for the favor.
Damn glad It's over, never tbe-lese am
very thankful for the honor bestowed up
on me IN giving me your in divided at
tentlon for half hour" ana added Herb
1.-THE oftener you knock him down the
greater the honor be claims for himself"
Poor Dick (for that was his name) is now
roaming with the angels and no doubt
paying due homage TO his winged masters
through pranks and antics, for chastise-
meut that be so enjoyed on earth and
which be would so soreiy miss 10 ais
present ST here May he continue TO en-
Joy the honor be so much Graves and
may the good angels whisper In his ear
our apology for maklEg (of HIM undue
comparisons that his pie but kindly
nature does not deserve
The great "pUZzler" chat confronts us
and causes Us to reflect as We scratch the
bald portion Of our craDium Is, through
what methods were We permitted To
thrive and exist before we found our Hsr.
ry and what Oh Lord would become OF
the rest OF us poor mortgls should the
tool-allIer put ID al appearance aud
claim his own.
Iu regard to the difficulty of The deaf
iddY as men toned IL last weeks Press
ana whose etll'ction you so insuitingiy
draw into this controversy, we are
advised by the lady mentioned that
she called central and received q
prompt response and also got the party
called for. Her efflicuon prevented her
from understanding The conversation and
she asked the aid Of another lady. She
was still connected through and rang
several times failing to get either central
or the party desired until some time lat
or when central explained that che WAS
busy repeating toll line message and
could not reply sooner.
To conclude, let me say tGat when a
men will stOop so low as to wound q
woman S tender nature by Cragg ng hei
terrible htliIctIons before the public In an
| attempt to gain point in argument, GOO
only knows TO what depths his dep-ayit,
may extend.
Yet these explanations will not deter
MI hres7 from chasing butterflies, boy
fashion, or grasplng at Imaginary stravs
Volumes of complaints from subscribers
VIII be limited at through the Press, nine
oChlho IL LpJ tuS 6Oilre Lob or which are
manufactured by the demented ass tina,
pretends to edit that paper.
Fire away brave boy, we have had five
! new orders for fones since you pronounc.
ed the service rotten. Give it to us IN
| moderate doses for we don't want then
to come faster than we can take care OF
them.
Your opposition is Of the same class as
that OF Sandford's Tribune of old at cleo
ton time; sure winner for the cahdi-
date opposed, One Of our retired citI-
zens has already unhihdiy suggested
that this whole matter Is au advertisina
dodge Oh the part of the Telephone Co
L shall be absent next week when youI
reply wlll-no doubt appear, but heed i,
not. Tell the people all you know G'
won't take long, and for the balance O.
that seven months war you are itchinl
for, you have the field all TO yourself
Great Caesar what believing and paw
Ing of DIRT there will be after the enem,
has disappeared from view.
w. ". DELANo.