The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1898-01-11
SOME U IN COURT.
A Collection of Anecdotes in Which
Juries And Jurists Figure
Prominently

90 ~@A@~@@A@4 "a &&9&@4S@%S -
Juries And Jurists Figure
Prominently
Nothing yet" said the lawyer, 1.-The
jury is hung" Gosh ; exclaimed the
prisoner, ''that beats it | knowed my
friends nd Inch 'em if they got &
chance at 'em."
Fifteen days sentence" said one of
the ~bystanders. That's a high price
for the stealing of one apple" ''Thet's
nothing" said another. ''Adam took
only one and was condemned to hard
labor for life"
"Mr. Sheriff" remarked the Judge
sternly, "have that man emoye his
hat from his head in the u room."
Bicycle girl in boomers Indignantly
Indeed, and I am no man, I thank
you" Judge-"And I swear I'm no
judge" s
A snsppieh female of the Amazon
type whose husband sat sheepishly by,
was being Intercepted rather vigor
ously by the opposing counsel, when
she blurted out angrily: "You needn't
try to catch me; you tried that once
before and couldn't" The lawyer leis-
urely replied, MADAM, I have not the
slightest desire to catch you, and your
husband looks as If he was sorry he
did"
An Irishman being examined as a
witness as to his kno Wedge of a shoot,
ing affair: 'Did you see the shot
fred9" he asked. mo, Sorr, I only
heard it, was the reply. ''That evi
dence is not satisfactory" the magis
trate said sternly. ''Stand asidel" On
leaving the box directly his back was
turned he laughed derisively. The
magistrate Indignantly called him back
and proceed to rep>imand him. "Did
you see me laugh, your honor9" asked
Pat. mo sir, but I heard you," was
the reply. "That evidence ia not salts
factory" said Pat. This time all laugh
ed, except the magistrate.
During a recent trial the following
occurred to vary the m~onotony OF the
proceedings: Among the witnesses
was one, as verdant a specimen of hu
manity as one would wish to meet
with. After a severe cross examina
tion, the counsel for the government
paused, and then putting on q look OF
severity, and an ominous shake of the
head, exclaimed:
"Mr. Witness, has not an eff )rt been
made to induce you to tell a different
story9"
"a different story from what I have
told. sir9"
That is what / mean"
Eyes, sir; several persons have tried
to get me to tell a different story from
what I have told, but they couldn't"
Nov, sir, upon your oath, I wish tc
know who those persons are"
WAL, I guess you've tried bout as
hard as any of them"
The witness was dismissed, while the
judge, jury and spectators INDUCED in
a hearty laugh.
It was at a police court. A witness
for the defence had Ist been examined,
when the prosecuting police sergeant
stood up to crush him.
Sergeant-Why did you hide Sulli.
van 10 your house on that Sunday
night2
Witness-I did not see!suIlivan at all
on that night.
Sergeant knowingly Will you
swear your wife did not hide Sullivan
on that night9
Witness (aesitetingly)-Ye es.
Sergeant (more ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
your wife swear that she did not hide
Sullivan in your house on that night9
Witness Cmore hesitatingly) well
I-don't-think-so.
Sergeant (most knowingly All
And perhaps you can tell the court
how it is you a swear your wife did
not hide him, while she cannot swear
the same thing. Speak mp now,
and tell the truth.
Witness OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES, you
see, I'm not a married man.-Tid Bits
WONDERFUL LINE.