The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1898-09-01

Il know what I'd do IL 1 was Mack"
said Mr.. Hennessy, according to the Chi
cago Journal I'D hist a flag over the
P'lippeens, ans I'd take in III whole lot
" thim'
can yet" said Mr. Dooley, tits not
more than two months since ye Earned
whether they were Islands or canned
goods. Ye're back yard is so small that
ye're COW can't turn r-round without
buttin tn wOodshed of tn premises, an
ye wudden't 80 out to tn stockyards with
out takin' out a policy on ye'er life. Sup
pose ye was standn' at tn corner iv
State sthreet an Archey road, wud We
know what car to take to get to tn Pip
Poems? If yer son Packy was to ask We
where tn Phppeens is cud ye give him
amy good idea whether they was in
Rooshia or jus wist iv tn thracks?"
'Mebbe L cudden't," said Mr.. Hen
messy haughHly, but I'm fr takin' thin
in anyhow"
so might be- said Mr. Dooley, 'lf
l cud ony get my mind on It, Wan iv
tn worst things about this here war is
tn way it's maxim puzzles FIR our poor,
tired heads. Whin I whit into it 1 thought
all I'd have to do was to set up here be-
hind tn bar with a good tin-cint see-gar
in me teeth am toss dinnymite bombs into
tn hated city iv Havana. But look at me
now. Tn war is still goin' on, an iv'ry
night whin I'm countin' up tn cash I'm
asking mesilf will 1 annex Cuba or lave
1t to tn Cubians, win 1 take Porter Ricky
or put it by an what shud l do with tn
Plippeens.
''Oh, what shud I do with thin? 1 can't
annex thin, because don't know where
they ARE. ] can't let go iv thin because
some wan else II take thin If do. There
ar-re eight thousan' is thin islands, with
population iv wan hundred millyon max
ed saVages, an me bedrooms crowded
now with me an tn bed How can I
take thin in, an how on earth am 1 goin'
TO cover tn nakedness iv thin savages
with me one shoot iv clothes? An Wit
'twould break me heart to think iv givin'
people l niver see or herd tell Nv back to
other people ] don't know An if | don't
take thin, Schwartzmeister down TIL
sthreet that has half me thrade already.
will grab thin sure
1t amt that I'm afraid iv not doina TIL
Fright thing in tn end, Hinnissy. Some
mornin' I'll wake up an know JUS what
TO do, an that I'll do. But It's tn annov-
ance Iv tn name time. I've been r-readin'
about tn country. IT'S over beyant we're
left shoulder whin ye're facin east. JUS
thorw yere thumb bbck an We have it as
ac'rate us amy man in town. IT'S farther
thn Boohlgahria and not so far as Blew
choochoo. It's near Chiny an it's not so
i.NShf an ~ q man was 10 bore a well
through firm Goshen, Indianny he might
sthrike it, an thin again he might not.
It's a poverty-stricken country. full
" gooId an precious Stones where tn
people can pick dinner off tn threes an
ARE starvin' because they have no sthep-
ladthers. Tn inhabitants is mostly nag
ours an Chinnymen, peaceful industhrIs
an laW-abidin, but savage an blood
thirsty in their methods They wear no
clothes except what they have on. am
each woman has five husbands an each
man has five wives.
TIL rest goes into thl discard tn same
as here. Tn Islands has been ownded by
Spain since befure tn fire. an she's
threated thin so well they're now UP in
rms again her except majority Nv
thin which is thruly loyal. Tn natives
seldom fight, but whin they git mad at wan
another they r-run-a-muck. Whin a man
r-runs-a- mnuck sometimes they hang him
an sometimes they discharge him an hire
a new motor man.
''Th women ar-re beautiful with anguish
in black eyes, an they smoke see-gars.
but ar-re hurried an incomplete In their
dhress. [ see a pitched Nv wan tn other
day with nawthin' on her but a basket
Nv cocoanuts an a hoop-skirt. They re
no prudes.
I'VE import juke, hemp, see-gar wrap
pers, sugar, an fairy tales firm tn
+ hppeens, an export six-inch shells an
tn like. " late tn Plippeens has awak-
ed L tn fact that thy're behind tn times,
an has received much American am'ini-
ton in their midst They say tn Span
yards is all tore up about it,
II Earned all this I'm pa-apers an I
know tbs straight. An yit, Hinnissy,
I dinnaw what to do about tn P'ippeens.
An I'm all alone In tn wur-ruld. Ivry-
body else has made up his moind. We
ask amy conductor on Archey road an
he'll tell We. Ye can foind out firm tn
pa-apers, an if We really want to know
all We have to do is to ask a prominent
citizen who can NOW all the lawn he owns
with a safety razor. But don't know"
Hang on to thim," said Mr.. Hennessy
stoutly. what We've got we must hold"
"Well," said Mr.. Dooley 'if 1 was
Mack I'd Fave it to George. I'd ray,
George I'd say. If ye-er FIR hangin' on,
hang on ii is. If We say Fave 60 I dhrop
Thin Twas George won fhim with tn
shells, an tn questions up to him"