Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1898-12-08
III.

After this Sir Thomas took great de-
light in showing off the merits Of his
coffin to his visitors and neighbors. On
the first of these occasions the services
of the maStiff were again reQuesitiOn
ed. But the mastiff objected. Once
buried, twice shy. No sooner did he
catch sight of the dreaded receptacle
than he broke loose from his custodi-
ans, and galloped off as fast as his
legs could carry him. Of course, an
other dog was found, and was put
through the experiment successfully.
but he, too, strange to say, could not
be induced to repeat the performance,
and gave the mansion a very wide
berth ever after. In fact, long before
Sir Thomas had demonstrated his in
vention to all who were curious to see
it, he had alienated the affections of
every dog on the estate, and was
obliged to borrow from his neighbors.
Matters reached such pass at last
all the available dogs for miles around
having been fused up" so to speak
that in respone to the numerous appli-
cations which rachel Sir Thomas to
see the wonderful coffin, he used to
say by way of postscript: ''Visitors
are kindly requested to bring their
own dogs"
The coffin used to lie on. narrow
bench in the library, and Sir Thomas
ri4 nd
gaze upon it lovingly. One afternoon
an idea occurred to him which he was
rather surprised had not suggested it
self before. 1t was that he should put
the invention to a crucial final test by
confirming himself within the coffin,
and then, by setting the apparatus go
ing, effecting his own release, pre-
cisely as he would do if, unfortunate
ly, he should be supposed to be dead
while still alive. Of course, he would
not chlorofOrm himself; that was IN
necessary, as we'll as impracticabla
Indeed, it would be as much as he
could do to adjust the chemicals and
the levers, and then, having stretched
himself INSIDE the casket, to lower the
cover upon it in the proper way.
He put in an extra dose Of the soda
and the acid, laid himself down, and
carefully drew the lid forward until
he had worked it into the right posi-
ton.
One hand was just beneath the met
al plate, the other still supported the
cover. At this supreme moment
sudden sinking Of the heart sent cold
sensation through the baronets frame,
and he could not help thinking it
would have been better had some one
else been present in case
Bah! what could happen? Had he
not carried out a hundred similar eX-
periments without a single failure?
He withdrew his hand from the lid
and in an instant, click! Sir Thomas
was to all intents and purposes dead
and buried.
What happened Immediately after
can only be conjectured; Sir Thomas
himself was never able to give any
clear account. 1t is certain, ut all
events, that from some cause OF other
the apparatus failed to act. The baro-
net swears that he moved the metal
plate exactly in the right way, but
that instead of hearing the "fizz' of
the seidlitz powder he perceived not'i-
ing to save a deathly and appalling ST.
lence. while a few seconds sufficed
to throw him into the agonies of as
phyXiation.
He remembers very little else, and
from this point the story is continued
by the servants at Castle Twining
who say that they heard a most awful
crash in the library, as of some body
falling from a considerable height;
that on rushing in they found the cof-
fin on the floor, literally broken in
halves. and that their beloved master
cate his head from one half, While his
feet seemed firmly wedged into the
other. They got him out, purple in
the face and with every vein in his
body at bursting point, and applied re-
storatiyes freely. after which he speed
ily recovered, though speech was still
| denied him. 1t was not before a pow
erful restorative had been administer
tered to him that he gasped:
Il think l must have forgotten to
put in the water
Whether this was so Or not. it is GER
| tain that Sir Thomas had the wreck
| Of the coffin carefully removed and
disposed of. He never made another,
and never patented the invention. He
still retains his dread of premature
burial, but his final instructions on
the matter are that all possible doubts
as to his decease shall be resolved lp