The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1898-07-17
NJ rEhEPnoxE FROn LIMBO.


New York Sun
Telephone call iA-as. July :. = m:
"Bx-x-z-xir'
seHeIio. WHAT'S wanieir
rs this Davy Jones' locker
Yes Who's talking
This is Admiral Sampson's feet. Please
call Mr.. Jones 10 the phone Hello.
That you. Mr.. JONES'
Yes: this il Davy Jones'"
Admiral sampson sends his respects
and bezs TO inform you that the Spanish
feet Is coming oat Of Santiago harooz.
kindly prepare FOR its reception"
Pretty crowded: bat III do my best
Goodby.''
''Gocdoy' B-z-z-x-z-t.
Telephone call i4.ss.. July = 1870 a. m.:
B-z-z-z-x,. ''Hero! Is this Admiral
SIMPSONS neety'
Yes. Who's this talking
"Davy Jones. Present respects 20 Adrni-
raj Sampson. and inform him that Piu,on.
f-N Of consignment. has been received.
0oodby.'
Telephone call 1879. July 5. ,o:45 a M:
B-E-s-z-xt: Hello. SIMPSONS neet?
Ths Is Davy Jonea Furor received.
Goodby."
Telephone call l474s. July 5. I'm:
Bz-xx-xt. Hello, Sasnpsons fleet i?
Yes: this is Jones. Almlrante oQuenda re-
ceived- Coming pretty fast Any more
co,ningg What's that? Gosh Goodby-"
Telephone call 1i.s0. July = l2:i5 p. n:
B-z-x-z-zt: Hello. Sampson, Say slow
down there. can't ycu? Infanta Maria Te-
resa's just arrived. Don't hustle a ran so.
This is no summer hotel. Goodby.''
Telephone call 1ts51. July 8. 1870 p. IN:
B-z-z-z-zt Hello. vizcaya arrived.
Have put out Standing Room Only sign.
This Is getting beyond joke Two OF my
assistant merEnen have struck. What are
you trying to do. bottle me up too No.
Apologies don't go Goodby.''
Telephone call 1A.1s2. July 3. 2. m:
B-z-z-z-zt. Hello. That you Sampson
No. I want the admiral himself
Hello. Look here. Sampson. I'm boss
here, and / want YOU 10 understand that
I've closed shop. See? The Cristobal CO.
Ions here. and shes the last. Understand
that? I've shut and locked the locker. and
I'm going back now TO sit on the cover.
That goes too. Goodhy."
Telephone caE 4,753 July i, 70 a m:
B-x-z-z-zt, "Helicl This the White
House. L. s. A.?''
Yes: whats wanted"
''Davy Jones respects TO President Nc
Kinley, and he'd like 10 talk with him over
the phone for a minute. Hello.
This President Mckinley? Congratula-
tons Mr.. President, on your glorious
Fourth
Many thanks. Mr.. Jones' Can be Of
any service TO youa'
Yes. Mr.. President: / want you TO call
OF your navy"
Beg pardon. Mr.. Jones. / don't think
quite understand YOU
Mr.. President, I've got too much busi-
ness. l want d respite.
But what have +"
I'll tell you. On May l I got consign-
ment OF Spanish ships from Admiral
Dewey"
Yes"
i've Just got them nicely slowed away.
now comes Admiral Sampson with Il rush
order that's just swaulped my accommodate
tons, and am hiring extra help as fast as
l can"
I'm sorry we disconnected you, Mr.
Jones'
Now. Mr., President. az between poten-
tate and poientate. l want TO ask YOU II
you've any more Spanish ships in sight!
well, there's another feet around at
Susz that
Great green-eared sea-serpents. Anoth-
err? Do you think want Spanish colony
down here? l won't stand it,
But. Mr.. Jones'
mo but about IL Mr. President |
won't stand IL! You send EN- here and I'll
turn EN- back. There's limit to my en-
durance. No. sir. III turn the locker over
10 the mermen ana go out OF business. and
that settles it,
Very well. Mr.. Jones. In that case
We'll have 10 keep that Spanish fleet our
selves"
That's the idea, Mr. President Con-
gratulations on your victory and good
wait a minute. Mr.. President, will you do
me a favor?''
with pleasure, Mr.. Jones' "Wha;
Is it?''
If your nation gets into trouble with
Germany let ne know In time so that
can resign and go and climb tree"
Certainly Goodby. Mr.. Jones'"
Thanks. Goodby, Mr.. President"
B-z-z-z-zt.