Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1898-09-28
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flsitor-W no Is your fayorite nos.
Mr.. Ikelheimer? Mr.. lkelheimss
Burns!EPuck.
You might have known you cou,dn.
walk" well, l tumbled to II o..
enough."-New York Times.
"Yes. sir, Shallup Is not only nan,
paper man but gentleman" au'
must lead double life Life.
Customer-Does 1t fit? Second.bo,,
clothier-Fit? Wy, i'd fits, of course,
berfect epileptic fit.-Syracuse Harals
"All the poets give us odes abm,
Cuba" Yes: why don't they sno
few Philippians T'-Cleveland pls,s
Dealer.
She-Old Mr.. Skidmore boasts that b.
Is a self-made man. He-Well, know
that he bought his teeth and his Wig
The Criterion.
The last creation: She-You shouldn,
blame girl for being thoughtless. IA
why not? She-Because even the Arr,
woman was an observation-disclosures
Ign Life.
First deaf mute-He wasn't so Very
angry, was he! Second deaf muta.
He was so mad that the words he usad
almost blistered his fingers.-Indlab
apolis Journal.
German Professor lin his lecture on
water)-And then, gentlemen, do not
forget, II we had no water we could
never learn to swim-and how MANY
people would be drownedw
SapplngtOn-I once came within an
ace Of making five hundred dollars
De Quincy-How so? Sappington-It
was a game Of poker; what | needed
was the ace OF diamonds.-Judge.
HI, what do you mean by selling
me paper and yelling. United States
Vessel Gone Down with All On Boardy
There's been no accident!' "Who said
dere bad? 1t wuz de submarine boat
yer ole JAY"
mo. Herbert, l am sorry; but am
sure we could not be happy together.
You know l always want my own way
In everything" But, my dear girl,
you could go on wanting 1t after we
were married. "-Boston Globe.
Mrs. Mulligan-An' what did bis
'onner say to you this morning? hfn.
Mulcahy-Can't you and your husband
live together without fighting? Mrs
Mulligan--An' wat did yer say? Mrs.
Mulcahy-No, yer 'anner, not happily,
Nan-I was just thinking what a
queer thing Nature is. Now, of what
use Is that tail to the COW in winter
time when there are no files? Fan
1t may be Of no use to the COW, but
what would we do for oxtail SOUP
Puck.
Mrs. Williston-HOw Is 1t, Colonel
that you have no medals? All the 9th.
er officers OF your regiment have lots
of them. Col. Copeton-Well, you SCI
l don't belong TO any bicycle club, and
never made a century run in my life
Chicago News.
81 have just come from the oil-re
gions," remarked the Casual Caller to
the Snake Editor, land l find that the
war-feeling has got into the petroleum.
producing business" "How is that"
Drilling is going on actively. Pitts
burg Chronicle-Telegraph.
Look here" said the policeman to
small merchant, you can't sell goods
that way without a license to peddle,"
Look at that" replied the merchant
as he drew from his pocket bicyclers
tax-receipt; what is that If it isn't
license to pedal? -Judge.
"Yassir," said Mr.. Erastus Pinkley
when goes ter de wah | won't be no
awdinary sojer. I'll be regular bird"
''Mistuh Pinkley,' responded Miss
Miami Brown, ''is you usin slang, or
to onderstan' OATS yOu's gwine ter
fine de flynn ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
Star.
You should Join our book club. Why
last winter l read over hundred books
by giving five minutes a day reaa
Nansen's Prisoner of Zenda, Hal
Gaines Quo Vadis,' Aliens CHRIS
tian,' Julian Hawthorne's Choir 10.
visible and Hopes 'Farthest North'
How charmingr'-Life.
"Our proud name has never oeen
humbled in the dust" said Miss Par'
Venoo. "Oh, yes, 1t has, Sally. saa
the inconvenient and Objectionable oia
friend of the family. 81 remember II
happenin' forty years ago, when lno
wind bowed down the sign OH your
grandfather shoe shop. '-lndiahapo'
lis Journal.
The poet had handed In his enusion'
and 1t warmed his heart to hear ,he
editor exclaim again and again; zap
ltalw "Capitalw Capital! linen
you like it?" said the poet. "oh' / III
not reading It," replied the unfeelins
editor; Il am only taking cognizanc'
of the fact that each line begins WIN
capital letter. From that | infer
poetry."-Boston Transcript.
He (desperately)-Tell me the tru'N
Is 1t not my poverty that STANDS pe
tween us? She (sadly)-Y-e-s. no
with ray Of hope)-I admit that an
moor. and so. unfortunately, Is my 1alu