The times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1897-1901, 1898-08-22

the IOWA. and no mistake / was walk
ing UP Pennsylvania Avenue few min
utes ago. and wher, / got pass a hotel
man came out OF a hallway and called
TO me.
Come here he said You looks az
though you wanted a drink the very
worst way-here's some good stun. ana
with that he poured me out the largest
drink Of whisky l ever see La my life be-
fore-and that's fact; / made short
work of IT.
You soldiers ought to have cart
blank In this town. said my friend, as
ne give me another wink and tell YOU.
feel better for meeting him." There
was a seurry Of hurrying footsteps. and
.ne hVe soldiers were next seen making
lheir way toward the locality indicated.
II occurred Just across the street from
Inc Times 1t is no difference where
'hey mad been all night, suffice to saw
mat they-two OF them-tacked acrosz en-,
avenue under three sheets OF sail ana
uropped anchor about three minutes be-
iore daylight in the bay Of Biscay. which
metaphor. when properly Interpreted
means the fruit stand on Tenth Street
presided over by a large italian who's
nom-de-banana is "Yousofr. the Terrible
Turk
Snearly mornin'," wisely remarked
the gentleman who had thirteen cents
left ~N'9
what" agreed the gentleman who
hadn't cent left
matter wifi havin' nice juicy piece
o. Watermelon"
There wasn't thing the matter with II
to the notion of the penniIess friend. and
Yousoff was ordered to fish our connIe
o lat slices o. coon fruit and moreover
10 De very prompt about IL. which he was
IL was that hour preliminary to day
HSht when little waits of humanity are
70 De seen drifting thither and hence on
skirmish for morning "papees" and one
OF these, very dark in the matter OF color
and quite hungry in the matter Of water
melon, stopped to watch the two citizens
bury their faces in cents worth of
melon each.
The gentleman who hadn't a cent raised
his countenance TO relieve it of seeds.
and espied the little darkey
Les buy tn kidlets one" he suggest
ed
The other gentleman looked up. hesi-
tated and then yielded himself TO a burst
OF generosity.
S'right we might He'd like T bet
ter e stole it. M'ere. kid. Like coon
fruit. eh?''
The darkey demonstrated ms liking OF
it by a series OF wonderful grins ard
nodded his head The generous one re-
sumed:
Go over zere.- then. en- swipes one O.
them melons en- duck quick Run Ike a
cop wuz after y, en- I'll pay fer it f y
get away"
The newsy hesitated. but the sight of
the melons was too much for him. and
he edged around to the long row, OF
green-striped vegetables lying along the
edge of the fruit stand Suddenly ne
lifted a big one and staggered OF. He
got as far as the corner before the Italian
saw the theft
.+YousOffs'' dissatisfaction was ex-
pressed in an unknown tongue and for
ever lost to his biographer, but his prog
ress down the avenue ratified nearby win
dows and awoke The Times Office hoy
That's how the story comes 10 be printed
Presently 'Yousoff. a policeman, a wa
termelon and a disconsolate little darby
were doing high-salaried sketch in the
middle of the street. and the TWO gentle
men OF generous purposes watched them
from afar- II was evident from the dar-
ky's gesticulations and the pOliceman'5
sudden start for the fruit stand that the
perpetrators Of the joke were in danger
OF apprehension
"COOus gave tn snap away Tn games
gettin' too swift fer me- objected the
gentleman with only three cents left now
right: let's duck" suggested the
friend. Accordingly they lifted anchor
and tackled off up Tenth Street: the dar-
ky went TO jail, ..YOuson' recovered his
melon and the policeman came back at
terward TO get glass Of lemonade. for
which he didn't pay. The moral in this.
without a diagram, is TO buy your water
melon.