davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-10-13
THOROUGHLY EXPERIENCED.
, go, and Was Fit for a. Hazard.,
{; Gus Unde rtakinH.

The grimy captain of the mountain bat.
terry hurried forward to meet the infantry
colonel
Colonel" he shouted, with a hasty sa.
lutte, Il want you to detail man from your
ranks to help us work the guns. That last
charge thinned us out"
certainly, sir" cried the colonel, "what
sort of man do you want?"
Il want a man who is strong in the arms -
the captain replied; zone who is regularly
accustomed to carrying heavy and awkward
weights. I want him to handle the ammu-
milton for gun No. 4. He must carry the
shells and solid shot from the caisson to the
gum"
The colonel turned to his command and
in ringing voice stated the artilleryman's
desire. Then he called for volunteer.
Instantly little man with a pale face
and somewhat bent back stepped briskly
from the ranks and sauted
The colonel looked him over.
HE wants man who is strong in the
arms" he repeated!
Eyes, colonel" said the little man.
essary strength?'
The little man smiled and again saluted.
"Well, colonel" he said, with an air of
conscious triumph, II reckon I'm as fit as
any man in the regiment. I moved my wife's
house plants more than 400 times during the
spring months!"
He'll dol" roared the artilleryman, and
the two hastily climbed the hill.-Cleyeland
Plain Dealer
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-10-13
MISTAKEN IDENTITY.
He Looked Like the Man Who Had
Exhibited an Educated
Pig.

my pride had fall the other day." said
e well known man who is prominent in pub
lie affairs. "A few days back had to go
TO little town IN the western part of the
state on matter of business. The matter
that took me there was soon transacted,
and to amuse myself until it was time to take
my train back, l attended the fair that
CHANGED to be in progress at the time.
Il noticed as soon as was on the grounds
that was attracting good deal of atten.
ton, and it rather fattered me, as l was not
aware that l was known in that part of the
state. Wherever I went I could see that
l was being pointed out, and such expires
eions as That's him. He's the fefler!'
greeted my ears.
Il began to think that I would be called
upon to make speech, and was thinking
up what l could say that would be of in
terest to them; when man, little bit
bolder than the rest, approached me, and
said:
"s.'Say, mister, when ar We goin' ter open
"'Open up what?' asked
why said he, 'ain't We the Teller what
owns the educated hog?'
Il had to admit that wasn't, and as
soon as that fact became known the atten.
ton that l had attracted was gone, and 7
was only one of the common herd, looking
at the big pumpkins and crooked-nosed
squashes.
"It seems that party, who looked like
me, had exhibited an educated pig the year
before, and had been mistaken for him.
Detroit Free Press.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-10-13


Intellectually King Oscar of Sweden
stands head and shoulders above nearly
all other royalties. He is not only dis
tinguished in philosophy; he is an au-
thor, translator and learned man in
political economy; he is musician,
historian and playwright. In fact, in
almost any department of life in which
the mind in it's finer qualities plays a
part he is a student and recognized
authority. He has translated Tasso's
Jerusalem Delievered," and he has put
into his own language the best works of
German, French and English writer's.
The king of Wurtemburg is also unique
among reigning monarchs, though not
in such an intellectual way. He is a
hotelkeeper. This has long been a
tradition in his family, but not until
lately was it discovered by the rulers of
the beautiful little German kingdom
how profita BILE inn-keeping can become.
When Peter the Great was travelling
incognito through Europe he refused to
stop anywhere but at an inn. To cir
cumvent this within the then king of
Wurtemburg put tavern sign outside
one OF the royal palaces, and dressed as
an innkeeper himself welcomed the
car. This royal personage's descend
ant now owns two large hotels, from
which he is said to derive revenue
equaling $4,000 a year. - Chicago
Chronicle.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-10-13
His Happiest Moment.

"John," she asked, cuddling up to him,
for it was the seventh anniversary of their
marriage, "What was the happiest moment
we'll. I shall never forget it. Ii 1 live to be be
a hundred years old that moment will al.
ways stand out as plainly as it does to-
night"
She sighed and nestled little closer,
looking longingly up into his honest blue
eyes: After moments silence she urged:
"Yes, but John, dearest, you haven't told
"Oh,"' he answered, IT thought you had
guessed it. Surely it ought to be easy
enough for you to do so. It was when You
came to me last fall, If you remember, and
told me that you had decided to trim over
one one {. Of your old hats so as to make it do
Then the celebration of the seventh an
niversary of their marriage became formal
and MISUNDERSTANDING Leader.
Free to Teachers and Scholars.
In 1897 we had thousands Of requests
from teachers and scholars for Wonder
land 49, The edition-a large one-was
exhausted long before the end of the year.
Wonderland '98 can now not only be sup
piled to those unable to secure the former,
but also to others. It is entirely different,
however, from the first named book. 1t has
q chapter on The Agricultural Northwest,
cramrned full of valuable information; one
on Yellowstone Park, written especially
for teachers another on Alaska and Klon.
dixie, and one on A Canoe Lake Trip, that
will be of interest to schools. The book has
a high art cover designed by Leyendecker,
and it is profusely illustrated from new
photographs. The Northern Pacific Rail
wav will send the book and a revised folder
map of Yellowstone Park, upon receipt OF
six cents in stamps or postal order: Send
to Chas s. Fee, Gen. Pass Agent, st. Paul,
where YOU saw the advertisement.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-10-13
THE APPARENT REASON.
She Readily Accounted for the Con.
slant Wearing OF the
HalOs,

Dotty sat on a stool beside her mother
looking at the pictures in an old church
book. There were angels and cherubim
and harpists galore, and in them the child
found much to interest her. The last pic
ture in the book was of dozen or more
angels floating on the clouds. Above the
head of each shone the symbolic halo Those
halos bothered Dotty. She had never seen
such head dress and she was perplexed.
After minutes thought she held the book
up to her mother and said: "See, mamma,
on their heads" sE
The mother looked. ''Those are angels,
"And what's the funny rings on their
heads, mammal" the child asked. i ..,
Those are halos, Dotty"
docs they wear them always, mamma
Does all angels wear them?"
yes, Dotty.. All angels wear them and
they wear them all the time'
when they's in the house?"
eyes, Dotty"
~. "When they's asleep?"
II guess they wears their halos all the
time, mamma, cause they're afraid if they
took 'em off and hung 'em on the hat rack
they'd get broke, don't y?"-Detroit Free
Press.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-10-13
On Getting Up from the Table.

on Getting OPP from the Table,
Il was finally induced through reading
some son accounts in the newspapers regarding
liams' Pink Pills for Pale People, to try
them. ! took the pills according to direc-
tons and soon began to notice an improve.
ment in my condition. Before the first box
was used could get about the house, and
after using five boxes, was entirely cured.
the rheumatic pains. I am confident that
Or. Williams Pink Pills saved my life and
l try to induce my friends who are sick to
try the same remedy. I will gladly answer
inquiries concerning my sickness and won.
derful cure, provided stamp is enclosed for
reply. FRANK LONG"
Sworn to before me at Venice, Mich, this
18th day of April, 1898.
G. B. GOLDSMITH, Justice of the Peace.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-10-13
The Font of Knowledge.

sonian institution are having the chatter
Of monkeys photographed, in the hope that
in time their language may be understood,
and it may be possible to converse with
them.
Mrs. De Science-Isn't that grand?
hope they'll ask the monkeys, the very first
thing, whether we are descended from them
or not.-N. Y. Weekly. pr
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-10-13

Dear Editor:-H you know of solicitor
or canvasser in your city or elsewhere, espe.
cially man who has solicited for subscrip.
tions, insurance, nursery stock, books or tail:
confer favor by telling him to correspond
with us; or if you will insert this notice in
your paper and such parties will cut this no.
tice out and mail to us, we may be able to
furnish them good position in their own
and adjoining counties. Address
AMERICAN WOODEN MILLS Co.. Chicago.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-10-13
The Cost of Freeing Cuba,

The United States are certainly entitled to
retain possession of the Philippine islands if
the peace commissioners so decide, for. the
cost of the war runs far into the millions,
and the end is not yet. The money paid out
stomach, liver, bowels and blood of disease,
however, is not an expensive undertaking. A
few dollars invested in Hostetter's Stomach
Bitters will accomplish the task easily. The
poor as we'll as the rich can afford it.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-10-13
Not at All Afraid.

"They, say" he suggested, just to see how
she would take it, chat disease may be com.
municated by KISSES"
I'm an immune" she replied, promptly
Of course her fearlessness was rewarded
Chicago Post.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-10-13
A Friendly Ceremonylin Old Cuba.

A Friendly CeremOnyA1n Old Cuba.
When an acquaintance visits a Epri-
vate residence. cigars are handed round
on a silver salver: if the visitor be an
intimate friend, one Of the young girls
of the family, called a 'donzalia," lights
a cigar and giving it q few draws to
get well lighted, gracefully presents it
to him. If the guitar is broughtsin as
usually occurs (for there is one in every
house), and the visitor plays, his cigar
is kept lighted by the donzalia, and at
each pause in the music she politely
hands it to the guest. This may occur
several times in an evening, and this
friendly ceremony is pleasant enough
when the cigar comes from the pouting
lips Of a rich Spanish beauty just ripen-
ing into womanhood, but in any case it
must be thankfully accepted. iona.
than S. Jenkins, in Century.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-10-13

The trouble with people who are all right
in their way is that they are usually in some
body else's way.-Brooklyn Life.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-10-13

Judge-"You say the defendant turned
and whistled to the dog. What followed?"
Intelligent Witness-"Thed og"-Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-10-13

You Can Get Aliens Foot-Ease FREE.
Write to-day to Allen S. Olmsted, Box 852,
LIE Roy, N. Y, for FREE sample of Aliens
Foot-Ease, powder to shake into your
shoes. 1t cures swollen, aching, tired feet.
The greatest comfort discovery of the age.
An instant relief for Corns and Bunions. All
druggists and shoe stores sell it. Is cents.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-10-13

"A thing of beauty" said the Cornfcd
Philosopher, lis a Joy until the fashion
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-10-13

I have used Piso's Cure for Consumption
both in my family and practicable. G.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-10-13

You are always hearing of people who are
in it; we'll, there are different kinds of cts"
to be in.-Atchson Globe.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-10-13

From sudden weather changes come Sore
ness and Stiffness. From St. Jacobs Oh!
comes prompt Cure.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-10-13

To Cure a Cold in One Day
Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets. All
druggists refund money if it fails to cure Csc
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-10-13

Ideals are pleasant, steady company, but
they are inclined to be tyrannical when they
are welded to.-Detroit journal.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-10-13

Many pair of patent leather shoes cover
socks that are full of koles.-Washington
Ia,) Democrat.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-10-13

Deep as is the Sciatic nerve St. Jacob
Oil will penetrate and cure Sciatica.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-10-13

People frequently ask your opinion mere.
ly to get to express their own.-Washington
Ial Democrat.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-10-13

Something very soothing in the use of St.
Jacobs Oil for Neuralgia. Subdues and cures
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-10-13

The first element of good table manners
is either fortitude or dyspepsia, usually the
latter Detroit Journal.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-10-13
= DOMESTIC INCIDENT.

From the Observer. Flushing. Mich.
= Early in November, 1884, says Frank
Long, who lives near Lennon, Mich, ION
starting to get up from the dinner table, I
was taken with a pain in my back. The
my bed. The physician who was summoned
pronounced my case muscular rheumatism
accompanied by lumbago. He gave me rene
dies and injected morphine into my arm to
ease the pain. f -
my disease gradually became worse until
:! tho9gnt that death would be welcome re-
lar physician also consulted another but he
gave me no encouragement.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-10-13

Bad, Worse, Worst Sprain. Good, Better,
Best Remedy-St. Jacobs Oil.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-10-13

If mirrors portrayed us as others see us
we wouldn't use Chicago Daily News
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-10-13

Z. NOTHING makes a. man so sad as to have q
girl jolly him. Chicago Daily News. .s<
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-10-13

Halls Catarrh Cure
Is taken Internally. Price 75c.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-10-13

The radiant light has gone from the
eyes of the widow and her orphans;
but it is one of the valued traditions
of the road to this day that Jake
Woodford was the only man who never
lost time with the limited. Sill urday
Evening Post. =. = :.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-10-13

ma L1On OF the man on the engine ahead
than from any faith in the hand brakes
he told his fireman to jump.
That single sharp blast of the whistle
sent chill to the heart of every rail-
road man who heard it. Jake was
coming in at the rate of so miles an
hour, and no brake!
The hostler leaped from the extra
engine and ran half way across the
yard. The telegraph operator showed
blanched face at his window, and
tried to think whether he had made a
mistake.
The brakeman feared to venture out
on the car pla tforms to set the brakes.
Phil Howard. the veteran railroader,
understood his friends wild appeal for
help. Regardless of probable conse-
quences, he jumped to brake wheel.
But the onward rush of ten heavy Pull
mans is not to be checked by single
hand brake.
With crash and a roar "S7" ran her
nose under the other engines tender;
she threw it-a crumpled and battered
can in apprenticeship over it's own
boiler. The spare engine shot ahead,
but again "87," her drivers sliding, was
driven into her like ram. This time
Jake's~ engine had her: forward truck
derailed, and, as she plowed into the
ties, the force from behind her slued
her around, and turned her over on top
of him.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1898-04-28

The subject of stamps for the occasion
Of the Omaha exposition will be as fol-
lows: One cent stamp, Marquette on
the banks of the Mississippi, after
painting by Lamprecht; ? cent, Eads
bridge over the Mississippi, showing a
portion Of the city st Louis; 4 cent,
mounted Indian chef, after drawing
by Frederick Remington; cent, hunt
ing buffalo, after a picture in School
crafts History of Indians 8 cent
shows Fremont, the pathfinder, raising
the flag on the Rocky mountains. The
10 cent stamp shows the hardships of
emigrants following in the footsteps of
scouts. The design is after painting
by A. Ct. Heaton, of Philadelphia, and
represents an emigrants wagon, drawn
by team of horses, one of which has
fallen and cannot rise. 1t is surrounded
by the emigrant, his wife and children,
who are looking at it in helplessness. On
the 80 cent stamp will be a mining
scene, an old prospector and two mules
The 81 stamp will show herd of cattle
fleeing before storm. The last stamp
of the series is 81 stamp and represents
harvesting scene in the great North
west. These stamps may be purchased
of any postmaster.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1898-04-28

We found the following choice NOR
sci of populistic political economy in II
leading populist paper of the state last
week. "When governments reach u
stage of enlightened civilization that
is disconnected with barbarism, Meth
er gold nor silver will be used as mon
ey and these metals will take their
place with other metals in the market
of the world and will be valuable only
in proportion as they are used in arts. !"
Well that will be a happy time won't
it when our money is all made of paper
A bass wood tree can then be made
into thousand million dollars. Won't
populists all wax rich and kick then.
How they will rush then like whirl-
winds to pay their debts, and how pie
ty will thrive and how the howl for
free coinage of silver at 16 to with
out the consent of any other nation OH
earth will have shrieked the last shrek.
sob The happy time is coming" when
800 bills will be lying around as com
mon as fallen leaves in autumn.
Maybe.-The Guthrian.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1898-04-28
A Clever Trick.

1t certainly looks like it, but there
is really no trick about it. Anybody
can try it who has Lame Back and
Weak Kidneys, Malaria, or nervous
troubles. We mean he can cure him.
self right away by taking Electric Bit
tiers. This medicine tones up the
whole system, acts as q stimulant TO
the Liver and Kidneys, is a blood purl-
fer and nerve tonic. 1t cures CoDstl.
patton, Headache, Painting Spells,
Sleeplessness and Melancholy. 1t is
purely vegetable, mild laxative, and
restores the system to its natural vigor.
Try Electric Bitters and be convinced
that they are Il miracle worker. Every
bottle guaranteed. Only SOC bottle
at A. Ii. Roberts drug store.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1898-04-28
The War.

The North Atlantic squadron is
maintaining a blockade of Havana and
other important Cuban ports while the
insurgents under Gomez are closing in
toward Havana. Our government is
taking measures which will soon result
in putting the best arms and anu
milton into the hands of the insurgents.
Blanco is showing himself to be good
buffer. He is trying to white to keep
up his courage but he and his soldiers
are practically shut up in Havana and
will starve or surrender before many
weeks. They are being shown what
concentration means when applied TO
themselves.
1t is thought our fleet in the Pacific
has been ordered to attack the Philli-
pine islands. Many rumors come that
are not authentic. One yesterday was
that II combat had taken place near
Havana between our torpedo boat
Gushing and IA Spanish gun boat. but
it was not verified.
The Spanish nation, according to re-
ports, is in danger of revolution at
home. Our country is united and en-
thusiastic for VIGOROUS prosecution
Of the war. The violent criticism
against the president of few weeks
ago has suddenly disappeared, and his
wisdom and carefulness are more and
more apparent.
Our governments plan of campaign
against Spain is necessarily kept secret,
but it is supposed that the call for 1885,
600 state militia is SO they can be drilled
and in readiness in case of need. There
is no doubt but our gunboats in the
harbOrs and the insurgents newly
armed and possibly enforced by few
of our regulars, Can soon overcome the
Spanish in Cuba.
1t seems our authorities are moving
carefully and wisely. They wish to
achieve the results with us little sacri
lice Of our property and the lives of
our seamen and soldiers as possible.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1898-04-28

1t is said that Senator A. b. Funk,
of Spirit Lake, announces that lie de-
sires to retire from politics and devote
himself to his business. He has been
in the senate twelve years and has
made an unusually good record show
ing courage and careful judgment. lie
has been the senate's leader in many
things the past few years. The recent
legislation providing for board of
control was perhaps more the result of
his effective work than that of any
other member. The state needs to re-
tain in the legislature some level
headed men of experience. Mr.. Funk
is one to whom all the state is more or
less indebted.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1898-04-28
The American Navy, Cuba and Hawaii.

A portfolio, in ten parts, sixteen
views in each part, of the finest half
tone pictures OF the American Navy,
Cuba and Hawaii has just been pub
lished and the Chicago, Milwaukee, ~
St. Paul Railway has made arrange
ments for Il special edition for the
benefit of its patrons and will furnish
the full set, one hundred and sixty
pictures, for one dollar. In view OF
the present excitement regarding Cuba
these pictures are very timely. Send
amount with full address to Geo. I'll.
Heafford, General Passenger Agent e..
M. & st. p. Ry., Chicago, Ill. lo-3w.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1898-04-28
Gen. Blanco nearly crushed the feel

Gen Blanco nearly crushed the feel
ings of the people of this country when
in his proclamation the other day he
rallied against us and called US IL na
ton of nobodies. That is'too bad. 1t
will surely be humiliating to him TO be
licked by nobodies. We haven't a long
record of national sin like some coun-
tries. We hav'nt been trying to gov
ern continents for centuries. We
hav'nt titled princes, royal families and
boated artist ocracies, but we have
eighty millions of intelligent people
who can govern themselves. If we
are nation of nobodies. then what of
SPANS people who are sixty per cent
illiterateS
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1898-04-28

The editor of the Cass County DEM
ocrat is IA lingo from jngOtown. lie
doesn't appear to have IA little caution
or Judgment on the Spanish contest,
but has been bowling for war for
weeks. He accuses President McKn-
ley of being IL lover of the Spanish,
which is another way to say he is II
traitor, for no American but Il traitor
is loving the Spanish just now. We
think the president deserves more mod
crate treatment at the hands of even
the opposition press, and he is receiv
ing it from all but very few. We
shall see if Bro. Gardner enlists right
aWay