davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Van Buren press., 1898-01-29
TRAINING A NEW HUSBAND.
A Young wife Who Knew Just How
10 DO Ia.

Bumper Is a rough old bear and his
daughter inherited some Of his DISPOSE
tiOn. He loves to tell how she trained
her husband, whose ways did not meet
with her approval
"Why, that fellow" the old gentle
man says with laugh that is roar.
had no more gumption than 10 think
that be could carry on just as though he
had no wife 10 please. / knew better
from the start, but | knew that she
could take care Of herself and half Q
dozen like him. He smoked cigarettes
In the parlor, just as though he was in
his bachelor quarters. She put In her
protest, and be declared that he hadnt
surrendered any Of his personal rights
when he married her. Now she's not Q
girl 10 20 into tantrums or set up .
howl. But the very next time be had
a few friends Ia there blowing cigarette
smoke through their noses she glidcd
Ia gracefully, took a seat, threw one lii
lie foot over the other on an ottoman
aud III one Of those same little coffin
nails lie wus mortified aud on his
high horse. but could have told him
how much good that would do him.
She played the game till she made him
quilt. Then he got to staying nt the
club ill the wee hours, She enlisted
mei we managed to get home one
morning at four; he didn't zee me. she
would give him no satisfaction and he
just begged Of her 80 remain at home
with him after that You bet she'll
keep bis toes ov the mark. Detroit
'rer Press.
The Van Buren press., 1898-01-29
a COLD FRAUD.
The Iceman Worked IL skfIlfuliy for
Time. But Was Caught mt Last.

Time. But Was Caught mt Last
A new bride and her recently emanci-
pated mother. each luckily born with 4
sense of humor, met the other day at
the studio Of an even more Bohemian
sister. and merrily tried TO see which
could tell the bigger story Of her eS-
periences. The deaf and dumb hall boy
who has eyes in the back of his head.
the faithless butcher, and The lady who
wants washing" had each furnished
share of an irresistible quarter hour.
Il had always supposed" said the old
lady as she rose TO go, that an honest
janitor was the noblest work of God.
have come TO the conclusion that there
is something in the very air of an apart
ment which is demoralizing to every
one who either makes, bakes. brcws. or
in any way serves the dwellers therein.
Lots of things my 20 years of house
keeping had prepared me for, but I
found out a brand-new scheme the
other day.
Ever since we went 10 the Marie
Jeanette TO live. had wondered how it
was that we used as much ice in our
small ice chest as we used TO in our
large refrigerator. ] saw the ice put
in each morning. and the next morn
ing the place that knew il knew II no
more. ! studied that thing off and on
for a month before | found my gay de-
eeiver out. One day happened TO sit
down when talking TO the cook, and J.
saw that the ice chest lid seemed tilted
up. / looked In. There was a nugget
Of ice left, but nothing tall enough to
prevent the lid from closing tight. I
investigated. In each hinge of that lid
there was a match. | took them out.
The lid went down snug. The more [
thought of il the more certain / was
that it was not a mere coincidence that
there were two OF them. When the ice
man came that morning watched out
and had the satisfaction of seeing him
look surprised when the lid went down
with bang under his hand. The next
morning we tolG him that there was Ice
enough, which was true, the hot kitch-
en- air being shut out The next morn
ing ] stayed away until he was gone,
telling Rosa to give him the kitchen to
himself, The lid was tilted up the same
old way, but no matches. / got my
glasses on and lighted the gas, and
there If you please in each hinge was a
little wad OF chewing gum!"
what cold fraud!" said the Bo-
hcmian sister, and thereat every woman
in the lot gathered up her raiment and
fed to look into the vitals Of her own
household And not pot Of them all
could call the kettle black. II Is q
brand-new scheme, but il works.-N. Y.
Sun,
The Van Buren press., 1898-01-29
what Some Scientists Think.

Scientists have been led TO the opinion
that at one time there was in or consti-
tuting the universe a mass of elements.
either fluid, gaseous or molten, which
reyolved so rapidly, and was so dis
torted while in this condition by sun
tides, that it was in the course of ages
divided into two parts-the earth and
the moon. Then each of these became a
separate sphere; they revolved, each on
its own axis and each around the other
but so closely together that day was
only from two to four hours long, and
one month was about the same length
Such being the case, the gravity mutual
ly exerted by the two bodies tended to
distort them with tldes-tidal friction
began 10 retard their velocity, and the
moon, which moved less rapidly, began
to recede from the earth. Subsequent
results induced by this course of action
are, as is apparent, that the earth has
hardened TO its present condition, the
moon has been drawn out of shape so
that one face is always turned this way.
and thus things have reached the exist
ing state.-N. Y. Sun.
The Van Buren press., 1898-01-29
Two rival manufacturers Of French

Two rival manufacturers Of French
coffee met before a Judge. The latte,
took up one of the contestants emptv
cans. i do not consider" affirmed The
Judge, that this is an honest label On
. ,ne 'front.' you place, in large letters.
Pure French Coffee and on the bacl
Ia small letters, in very small letters
you print; "A Compound of Chicorv'
etc The person thus addressed unused
Ior a moment. Then he said. quite
meekly; But viii your Iordship Iind.
y explain TO the jury by what meana
YOU ui.iinguish between the front and
back Of a round eau?" ~ ""u
The Van Buren press., 1898-01-29
Pure Water Essential.

As the country becomes older, the
supply Of surface water becomes more
contaminated and unhealthy, and
greater care should be taken TO supply
pure water for the stock. with deep
wells and wind-mills. Pure, clean
water is necessity for TIE condition
of all kinds Of stock. Water is direct
ly absorbed into the blood with what
ever iInpurity may be contained in it,
says an exchange. 1t is TO some ex-
tent strained or filtered Of what it may
have of solid matter not dissolved ia it.
but whatever is held in solution, and
some OF what it may have that is not
dissolved, TO some extent goes nto the
blood with it. Thus impure water
posons the very fount Of life and car
ries into an animal what may be the
most injurious to the health of it,
Dixie Farmer
The Van Buren press., 1898-01-29
~ STELlA.R pEfps.


In ataller deeps the midnight silence broods.
Worn with tbs day, the earth lew-lyins
Sleeps.
Niaile thought aasaaes the eternal soil
tades-
The steller deeps.
Fleets. from q port. beyond the explorers
ken.
Majestic move. Rnaas argosles Ct light.
ID ffom fhe neither Vocs uukuQNn Of men
and cross the night.
a pathway sowan with thistle-doWn Of stars,
= pathway white as II thereon had troe
Dae whose winged feet shed lustef In then
fight,
Mounting to God.
bridges Che waate from rolling sphere TO
snans the blue seas Of siieaee shore 70
shore,
A arch u triumph Ger the primel dark
Forever more.
fnemble, as chile that finas door
And witch swift. curious hand throws open
wide.
fntQ vast. unpeoplad corridor.
Where shadows glide
1mmensity, Thy surees pneoufned
Buffet the sense with strong. benumpine
shocks.
54unifng nhe Httle wreGkage Of the mind
I pou the rocks
O Thought return Tn eneulfne pillows
1oSs
Thy tiny cockle-shell. their helpless prey!
o Reason, haiti Tiny chart and compass
vain
Te find the wast
0ae envey mere-f wait upon ne strand
and while my soul her aeaeme vigil
keeps
Faith finds safe anchoraee, II sight of
land,
In stellar daeps
--iatnna Herriek weed. IN Youths Com
psnion.
The Van Buren press., 1898-01-29

Miss Clara Barton, president of the
Red Cross society, is living at Glen Echo,
suburb of Washington. ten miles from
the capital, where the headquarters OF
ohe society now are. She Is attending
oaily to the work of the Red Cross. and
says her health is as good as could be
wished for.
The Van Buren press., 1898-01-29
The Humor of II

Cobbs-Things are now so rotten that
it is no longer joke to say of man
when he dies: "He was the son of rich
but honest parents"
Dobbs-No, it isn't a joke-it's usual
ly a lie.-Up To Date.
The Van Buren press., 1898-01-29

10 tighten the tires of wagon wheels
newly designed felloe has two V
shaped ends lying close together, with
pair OF wedges mounted in the open
ing to be drawn together by a bolt until
.hey increase the circumference of the
feloe Tar enough to grip the tire
The Van Buren press., 1898-01-29
Measuring n Degree of Latina.

Sweden Is about to undertake the
measurement Of degree of latitude
within the arctic circle. An expedition
will be sent out IN Nay TO make a pre-
hmiuary survey.-Chicago Inter Ocean.
The Van Buren press., 1898-01-29

bicycles in Europe and America.
1t is estimated that 1000, 900 bicycles
have been built in Europe and America
up to date.-,Philadelphia Press.
The Van Buren press., 1898-01-29

In staller daeps the midnight silence broOds,
aorn with the aay, the earth les-lyins
Sleeps.
While thought insades the etennal soil
1udeK-
The St. Johns herald., 1898-02-05
Famed $f4 to tbe Cusridor

There Is a total disregard of the value of the precious metal in Dawson. Ev- cry one has so much gold dust that the sight of big sacks and cans of it has ceased to attract attention.
 "For instance" said Mir. Thompson, you will see wooden shack covered with canvas, a bar across one end of it. This Is saloon, about as unlikely a place for riches as a man would find on earth, and yet at any time of the day and night the aggregate wealth of the men Tn there at any one time would reach into the millions.
 'Why, one day I was in a place of this description and in front of the bar was long box filled with sawdust. This sawdust, owing to frequent ex- pectorations from the tobacco chewing custom, gets soiled. AS I say, was in one of these places one day and some boys came along and said to the proprietor. If you will give up this old box we will bring you another filled with clean sawdust' Take 1t along was the rejoinder. The boys imme- diately put clean one in its place and took away the old one. was so inter ested to see what they intended to do that I followed them, and to my sur prise they commenced to pan out the sawdust, and in a little while they re- covered $14 in gold ''-Alaska Miner.
The St. Johns herald., 1898-02-05

One of the most successful of recent
 novels debates a question that has
 probably occurred to many thoughtful
 men and women, Is 1t possible for one
 who forms a part of our complex and
 tempestuous civilization to lead a | Christian life? The novelists conclu- l sion Is, on the whole unfavorabIe and, therefore, condemnatory of civiliza- tion. Such a theme, so treated, was certain to awaken controversy. Chief ly opinions range around the hero of the story. It is asserted that his fail ures were chargeable to his character, not his environment; and the criticism is sound enOugh-so far as it goes. It cannot be an adequate statement, be- cause 1t fails to take note of certain fundamental truths. In the first place 1t is important to remember that the authors inquiry is no novel one. For eighteen centuries, the earnest and the faithful, straining their eyes at the ideal of human brotherhood that Christ set up, have wondered Gespairingly whether man could ever reach it. The better the man-judged by the stand ard of otherS-the more hopeless. to him, has seemed the attempt. Thus the recent raising of the inquiry does not mean that single good man has all at once perceived the world to be growing worse. Does 1t not rather show that an artist, keenly susceptible to the mental influences that mold the time, has been impressed by those as- piratlons toward general helpfulnoss and juGtice which unquestionably tend with him, conceding that the world he misIeads the answer to his question. But even if we were forced to side to dominate mankind We believe that has not gained wisdom as 1t has grown older, we might comfort ourselves with the thought that human nature at least has not changed. There are no new pitfalls on the road to perfeo ton, though some of the old ones may bear new names. The saints of the early centuries lived, as we must, in the midst of rich and poor, Pharisees, pub licans, sound and sick, sinners and righteous. And in our day, as in theirs, ''the aids to noble life are all within"
The St. Johns herald., 1898-02-05
Lynched by Swallows.

A successful lynching took place on the farm of Jerome Butler, south of Marlette, Mich, the other day. In the barn a swallows nest was seen cling ing to the side of a beam from which was suspended an English sparrow. hung by the neck with a hair from a l:orse's tail. While Franklin Butler and Orla Albertson were sitting in the barn they noticed a sparrow go into the swallows nest, from which 1t began pitching the young birds. Three swaI- lows, attracted by their outcry, imme- diately bounced upon the intruder. Af ter confning him to the nest for a few minutes they threw him out. He drop ped about a foot, there was jerk, and MT. Sparrow was hanged as nicely as though an expert hangman had been in charge. The hair was wound around his neck several times, and after a few !neHectual struggles he kicked his last Grand Rapids Herald.
The St. Johns herald., 1898-02-05
|" WooIIy" Journalism.

This is the way they write up a cy- clone out West: Tt turned a well wrong side out in Missouri, 1t turned a cellar upside down In Wisconsin, nov ed a township line in Nebraska, blew all the slaves out of whisky barrel in Iowa and left nothing but the bung- hole, killed an honest Indian agent out West, changed the day of the week in Indiana, blew the hair of a bald-head- cd man in Ohio, killed a truthful law yer in Illinois, blew the mortgage off mans farm in Kansas, scared a red. headed woman in Delphi until her hair turned white, blew all the cracks out of a fence in Dakota and took all the wind out of a politician" Pretty hard blow.
The St. Johns herald., 1898-02-05
Confederate Muskets.

Though the Confederate army, when Gen. Lee surrendered, surren- dered many thousand muskets," said an ordnance officer of the army, q have great doubts if 100 of them are still in the possession of the govern ment. In the armories of the govern ment in Illinois, Massachusetts and California a few may have been kept, but there are but few. The War De- partment has a few, but the wagon loads of them have disappeared, no one knows exactly where. AS an arm the rifles surrendered were without value except in a few commands where they had secured modern guns. They were hurriedly and cheaply made, generally by contract work. I can't state now exactly how many thousand muskets there were, but there were at least 30,- GOO recorded as having been surren- dered. My own idea Is that the most of them were broken up as valuless, though a great quantity of them were sold as junk and scrap iron. The can non have also gone out of existence most of them in the. same way Washington Star.
The St. Johns herald., 1898-02-05

The society for checking the Abuse of Public Advertising, founded four years ago in England, has been highly successful in awakening the sentiment of reform. The Thames River is by act of Parliament protected from any advertising whatever on its banks; a series of guide-bOOks calls attention to recent advertising disfgurements of beautiful scenery; the council of Lon don has condemned some monster boardings erected for advertising pur poses, and the superior courts have en- forced the prohibition of sky signs. America stands no less in need of such an association and such a sentiment. ''The way in which 1 shall help," ex- claimed a young matron recently, Ifs by never buying such articles as see advertised amid natural scenery or in objectionable methods. They shall be impressed upon my mind as something to be summed"
The St. Johns herald., 1898-02-05

A bride of year was recently heard to say that ten of her acQuaintances were to be married before Christmas, and that as the parents of all of them lad sent her expensive wedding gifts, she and her husband were in much per turhatiOn about the customary return. There Is food for reflection in her con- nent that as they lived in a small rent. cd house and kept but one servant. their valuable silver was still stored In the vault where it had been placed at their marriage; that although the gifts represented over $3,0OO, the young husband had to struggle for their live hhesd; and that the most modest pres, ents they could select for their ten friends would take his whole months salary.
The St. Johns herald., 1898-02-05

The English have a much better no ton of what happens in parliament than we have of the proceedings of the House and Senate. No matter how suddenly the debate springs up, nor how unexpected the occasion, in the London newspapers the satisfactory account of all that was said and done is next day before the British people. Such a thing hardly ever takes place with us, writes Thos. B. Reed in the Illustrated American. If a member makes an important speech 1t must be written out before delivery and sent by mail, and then figures in the tele- graphic column as a monument alike of American eloquence and American enterprise. One disadvantage we la- Dor under is that we have no central London. Our capital is not a London, though 1t is no mean city. The country at large has more than one news cen ter. New York the Greater will have a population of 3,500,0OO, but is 225 miles away. Chicago has 100000, and Is the center of vast country. but is 800 or 1000 miles distant San Fran cisco has the great empire of the Pa .cific coast behind 1t and around 1t, but 5000 miles of railway divide us. New Orleans lies a distance of two days fur ther south, and St. Louis and Cincin- nati would be much aggrieved not to be deemed centers of news distribu- tion. While, therefore, we are satis- fled with our country, and know that all the waste places WI be filled up, and that we shall have Londons on either coast and in the center, never theless just now we are CHp much spread out to know about our Congress quite as well as some other people do about theirs.
The St. Johns herald., 1898-02-05

A company of workingmen in En- gland lately listened to a speaker who called himself a fellow-workman. In his time, he said, he had experienced many priyatiOns. He had known what f. was to be cold because he could not afford fire. He had worn patched clothes and shoes. He had lived up- on poor fare. When he was young he learned to blow as straight a furrow 0s any man in the parish, and no one could thrash better than he. The speak CT was a man who in the table of prece, deney comes next after the princes oS the royal blood-the Archbishop Of Canterbury.
The St. Johns herald., 1898-02-05

"Guy Mannering," "The Bride of Lam- worth was taken out 625 times Thir- ty-fve years after Scott's death Lon don bookseller would not keep in his stalls slx-penny edition of the Waver- ly novels, because they killed the sale of all other books. Yet the lure was rot in sensationalism; the popular crav- ing was not for poisonous sweets; mil lions of readers found only pure and wholesome human pleasure.
The St. Johns herald., 1898-02-05

That the greatness of the self-made man is consequent upon meagre educa- toRal advantages Is an old superstition fast disappearing, as ex-Presldent Cleveland pointed out at the recent Princeton commemoration. The sue cessful man whose youth was with out advantages has attained success net because of those disadvantages. but In spite of them, and 1t Is logical to infer that with increased intellectual training he would have climbed to still greater eninence.
The St. Johns herald., 1898-02-05

There Is too much of a disposition aneng the farmers to pursue the dull round of toll without thought of i'm proEement and without effort for bet ter methods. It is the object of farm CTS institutes to resist and overcome this inertia. They bring together the farmers face to face, to give each other the benefit of their observation and ex- perfenee. They stimulate enterprise and inquiry by showing what brains have already done for the calling and showing that more remains to be done.
The St. Johns herald., 1898-02-05

From A to izzard," the nations of the earth are witnesses to the evils fol lowing the wanton destruction of for ests. Abyssinia has her story to tell. Menehk has changed his capital four times since his accession in 1889, be- canse the wood supply was exhausted The woOdman who does not spare that tree has seen his best days. Public opiRi0n is awakened
The St. Johns herald., 1898-02-05

British influence goes on in far Asia. 1t has just come to light that before the king of Siam departed on his Flu ropean tour he dismissed nearly every foreign employe of his government, and their places have since been filled by Bnglishmen selected by Chulalong korR personally.
The St. Johns herald., 1898-02-05

Some of the reasons for thinking there will be no war with Spain are that 1t wouldn't be popular. that it wouldn't be good politics, that it wouldn't be profitable except to q comparatively small number of con- tractors, that the country isn't in shape at present to go to war with anybody, that President Mckinley doesn't want war, and that he doesn't intend war shah occur.
The St. Johns herald., 1898-02-05

Though, as is said, S4,OOO,0O0,0OO have been disbursed by the United States in pensions since the close of the war in 1865, it is well to remember that the money has not been hoarded, nor h: 1t gone out of the country.
The St. Johns herald., 1898-02-05
Too Smart for Him.

"Yes," said young Softleigh, T like to see a smart, we'll educated woman, but l wouldn't care to marry one who knew more than did"
 I'm very sorry" replied Miss Cut tin, ito hear that you have resolved to remain a bachelor all your life"
The St. Johns herald., 1898-02-05

That Connecticut preacher who claims that he can get gold from ordi- nary sea water says the idea struck him while he was riding in a palace car. The idea of getting money from some source or other usually strikes the average citizen before taking such a trip.
The St. Johns herald., 1898-02-05

It seems scarcely worth while to i'm prison anybody in Kansas for violating the prohibltory law, since heparapher- nalia for first-class joint, smuggled in by two whisky sellers, was recently discovered in the county jail at Lar ned
The St. Johns herald., 1898-02-05
An Emergeucy,

"Why," he exclaimed, T thought you said the last time you had the dress maker that you wouldn't need another gown for three mOnthS!'
 'I know did, dear," she replied, 'but in going through my trunk to-day l found a piece of ribbon that will make a lovely sash and I haven't anything to go with it.''
The St. Johns herald., 1898-02-05
Because they're all paste
Short Suffering.
Plain Dealer

"She never complains of her hus- bands ill-treatment of her," remarked Squildig. "She suffers in silence"
 If she suffers only when she is si- lent" replied McSwilligan, ''she doesn't, suffer long at a time. ."-Pittsburg ChronicleTelegraph.
The St. Johns herald., 1898-02-05
Drawing to a Head.

My dear," remarked MT. Grumpy, as he opened a letter at the breakfast table the other morning, and his wife's milliner bill dropped out, "my dear, this is the third bonnet you have had in less than six months. You must have mill inery on the brain"
 Well, suppose I have" replied Mrs. Grumby, isn't that the proper place for it tY'
The St. Johns herald., 1898-02-05
A Serious Lunr Trouble.

Zim-You say he suffers considerably from lung troublef Zam-Yes; bis daughter sings.-New York Evening Journal
The St. Johns herald., 1898-02-05
lust the Place for Him.

Say, Weary, I think tn Sandwich Islan's is the place for me-"
 'Why so, chappie?"
 "'Cause I'd be free from tempta- tion."
 "Wot kind O temptationT'
 "Why, the papers says tn climates so enerVatin' thet there's no temptation to work" Plain Dealer.
The St. Johns herald., 1898-02-05

ST Walter Scott's writings do not pass Into eclipse behind the later prod ccts Of genius. The Providence Pub Ee Library issues bulletin from which 1t appears that during ten years a few books were drawn more than $50 times. Among these were "Ivanhoe,"