The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1898-12-21
THE CONFEDERATE SOLDIER
Humor in the Confederate Army
Confederate Veteran.

stc Veteran.
/ "No, sir" replied the old general
"the man that whipped Stonewal
! jackson never lived; but have tht
honor Of saying that | gave him
drawn fight at Kernstown; and nj
! other man can make as proud boast.
And yet, dear Veteran, our histories
tell us, and our sons and daughters
are taught to believe, that Shields
whipped Jackson at Kernstown. Who
should know better than Gen. Shields
himself ?
| The General then went on to illus
trate the feeling that existed between
worthy foemen by saying that on one
occasion, year or Two previous to
this conversation, he was taking a
party of friends to see circus. As
there was a great crowd around the
ticket wagon, he concluded that he
would try paying at the door Of the
tent. AS they approached the en-
trance, one Of the party happened to
address him as "Gen. Shields. A
oue-armed, military-looking man, who
vas taking ahe tickets, looked up
quickly aud said: care you the Gen.
Shields who fought in the Valley Of
Virginia.
81 am, sir,' replied the General.
"Pass in with your party, General I:
you can t pay cent here .
''Thauk you, my FRIEND" said the
General. 81 see you have lost an
arm. 1 presume you we're one of my
soldiers in the Valley
"Well, no, not exactly, General; I
was the next thing to it, though; l
vas one of Stonewall Jackson's men. =
No series of anecdotes Of the war
would be. complete without some
which display the wit Of the Irish
man. During one of the battles 10
the earlier part Of the war a line OF
troops was lying down waiting for the
proper moment for acsion. Bullets
were flying rather fast overhead, and
an Irishman was observed by one Of
his comrades holding his hard as high
in the air as he could reach.
What are you doing there, PATTI
asked another.
''Bedad, and I'm falling for fur
lough.''
Just then a bullet grazed his hand
and he said: sBpjabbers, I've got i'!'
Another bullet struck him in the
wrist before he could fairly get his
hand down. "Och! Begorra! and I've
got thirty days extinsion.
During another battle the firing
had become so hot that some Of the
men concluded they had very urgent
business in the rear, and among them
was an Irishman. His captain noticed
him starting for the rear, and COM
manded him to come back. Pat paid
mo attention to this, but kept on.
The captain drew his pistol and
threatened to FIRE if he did not stop.
The 1rishman, without stopping,
looked back over his shoulder, and
yelled: "Shoot and --! What is
one bullet to bucketful?'
Every one agrees that discipline is
absolutely essential in an army, but
in the Confederate army some OF our
soldiers had queer idea of discipline.
While the private soldier would obey
his officers commands with the Utmost
exactness, he never for moment ac-
kuowledged the superiority Of the off
Ger socially. lie would fight like a
hero and work like stevedore, but
he never gave up or forgot his man
hood. On one occasion Gen. Cheat
ham found one Of his men, an Irish
man, committing some act of which
he did not approve. He reprimanded
him in the. most forciblc manner, and
in fact, it is said that the Language
used was so forcible that the air turn
ed beautiful cerulean hue. When
he stopped to get his breath, the
Irishman said: ''Bedad, Gineral Cheat
ham! if you wasn't gineral, you
wouldn't talk to me that way
Gen. Cheatham was like the hero Of
Conan Doyle's novel, the "White
Company he was always willing and
anxious to accommodate any gentle
man who was looking for trouble. He
pulled off his coat and threw it on the
ground. saying "There lies Gen
| Cheatham, and here is Old Frank