The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1898-06-08

castles come crashing to earth. a
heap of ruins. But let me beg you
not to be discouraged at the fact
that you have discovered there is
5 metbing YOU do not know Here
build, never abandoning a single
noble, worthy ideat though disap-
pointmeuts aud misiortunes comes
hoYeriag al at YOU as the cultures
OF the desert, but above ali these
boy uas 10 EAGLES fight ever he
taine
Onward ang; Upward and true to the
line
1t is said that Mercury on one of
mis- visits to the earth entered shop
in which statucttes of the gods were
kept for sale. Wishing to know in
what esteem he was held by the peo-
pie, he began by asking the price of
the images OF Jupiter and Juno. FL
nally be came 70 his own, and what
may be the price OF this one? I'll
tell you, said the shop keeper after
some consideration, buy the other
two and well throw that fellow in. So
all / ask to day is just to let me
throw the Sophomores in with all the
rest and I'll thank you thousand
times, and rejoice at getting them off
my hands SO easily.
But Sophomores perhaps we do
you an injustlc. Like Dido our
motto is Trojans and Tyrians are
held in no discrimination.
You have one distinctive charac-
teristic, you have usually learned
that the knowledge of the world is
restricted to cranial cavity.
You must be credited with not
ejecting astounding potentialties
and high sounding superlatives
Spohomores are fighters. Let war
come round and they Immediately
promulgate a ponderous array of
jegune resolutions.
But to the chagrin of the faculty
most of them remain in school.
Sophomores are the most pugnacious
class in college There is only one
thing that daunts them. They will
tackle and vanquish anything from a
katy did to locomotive, but let a
Professor face him with an exami-
nation, he at once blubbers over
with scalding tears, and his lion
heart melts to tallow.
From position, if from nothing
else Juniors must be accorded an
honored place IN our affections.
They are next to the greatest thing
in the world, but like Peter, they
"follow at distance" For several
years they have basked IN our benign
influence. "Their present sorry con
dition is applicable only by the fact
that the light makes worse sore
eye.
We love the Juniors, for as an
ugly man sets off the charms of
beautiful wife, their imperfections
have added luster to our virtues?
Therefore weuYish to be lenient with
you and whatever may be sad is
not SO much for your chagrin as for
the benefit of those coming after.
There is a certain disease to which
all human flesh it more or less heir,
bnt it's critical stage is reached in
the Junior.
Some one has said that the distin-
gushing characteristic of junior is
that he makes love at all seasons,
times and places, opportune and in
opportune.
He has long since abandoned the
freshmans idea of knowing every
thing, or the sophomore's notion of
declaring terms of peace to the facul-
ty. In this unstable condition he
falls an easy victim. So he says vain,
empty world, adieu, and for about
eight months he exerts the most Her.
culean efforts in trying to look charm
ing.
hope the juniors will not feel COM
PEELED to take all this on themselves,
but they remind me of story | once
read. Ayoung man just in the fever of
these attacks, went home to his hard
worked father. He was certainly an
astounding specimen of the most ex-
quisite art of barber and tailor-pale
face, hair parted in the middle, the
cube root of vacuum for head. 1t
is useless to enumerate them. You
know all the symptoms. The old
gentleman gazed in disgust for a few
minutes, and said in the words Aaron,
81 put in the gold and out came the
calf" But juniors, despite all, we
have great faith in your vitality, and
when you have awakened from this
delirious dream to find with Tam
O'Shanter that
Pleasures are like peoples spread,
You touch the flower the bloom is shed !;
Or like the snow flake on the river,
A moment seen, then gonei forever"
We hope you may again put on your
working harness and fill the positions
we leave you with honor.
We cannot consider our task fin
ished without Offering tribute to the
most ancient as well as the most
truthful of all professions, the law
yers. A profession made illustrious
by the names of Annanias, Nero, Cat
aline, Caligula, Caracalla, Commo-
dius, Robespeerre, Jeffires, Captain
Kidd, Benedict Arnold, Aaron Burr,
Prendergast and Charles Guiteau.
''They need no encomlum. There
they are; behold them, Judge for
yourselves.
Lawyers are not only noted for
their strict adherence to the truth,
but they are the greatest financiers in
the world. 1t has been said that
5000 years ago, in the garden OF Eden
the great father of lawyers started
business with a cash capital of one