The Roanoke times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1897-1977, 1898-01-28
SKETCHES BY NJ. QUAD
There Was no DUAL

Thtoh ouPper u uOZen or more or us
congregated in the hotel Office for u
smoke, and presently the landlord came
among us to say:
Gentlemen, wo have fire eater in
this town named Colonel Sebastian. He
has several peculiar theories of his own,
and wish to post you i'll advance. He
is very strong in his talk, and should
you differ with him no will challenge
you to duel. The colonel is dead
shot, and l hope you'll take friendly
tip and not engage in discussion. Let
him have his own way and never mind
what he says"
The colonel had never killed any one
yet, but that he stood ready to do so if
his opinions were disputed the landlord
felt dead certain, and so we agreed to
agree with the colonel if he came in
all but one. The exception was the
smallest and the most humble looking
man among the guests. No one knew
that he had made up his mind to OPPOSE
the colonel, and when tho latter entered
half all hour later he picked him out of
tho crowd as a good man to go for. He
got down alongside Of him and after q
bit turned on him with:
Perhaps you have not been inform
eel that l am the originator of the idea
that all men were once animals of some
sort and that perfection has only been
reached after many centuries of timer"
No, sir, haven t." was the prompt
reply.
But I am, sah, and what do YOU
think of the idea?''
"What idea?"
"Why the ono just stated. 1 think
you heard me, sah think you did
"Oh, l remember. Well, don't train
with that crowd, thank heaven"
WHATS that, sah?" exclaimed the
colonel, as he Strengthened up.
II said Twas glad l didn't train with
that crowd
Crowd, sal, crowd? Do you refer to
IL man having great idea as 'crowd:' -
Il do. l wouldn't be found dead
alongside of man who had an idea of
that sort. How man of your seeming
intelligence CAM
"Sah! Do you know what you are say
ing?" interrupted tho colonel.
81 do
"And that your language is personal
ly offensive, sah-personally offensive?"
I'm sorry you belong to the crowd
which furnishes great ideas. ~
Crowd, sab? Why, you have grossly
lnsulted me and must at once apologize
or accept a challenge
Bring Oh your challenge, colonel. ~
"Then you will fight me, sah?''
Certainly. just name time, place
and weapons By the way, 1 want to
leave i'll the morning Can't we fight in
the billiard room-out in the yard-up
Ill my room? No use waiting until to-
morrow
And you'll fight me, sah:' gaspcd
the colonel.
with tho greatest of pleasure, and
III bet 81 900 to shilling kill you.
Where can we get swords, rifles, pistols
or bowie knives? 1 am just aching to
fight you.
"You-you won It apologize?'
No, sir, never. My object is to kill
you and get theorist off the face of tho
earth. Hurry up, or may not be able
to hold myself ~
The colonel was OH his feet, but he
drew himself up. settled his hat OIL his
head, and his face was as white as flour,
and his voice trembled as he said:
Sab, am fighter and dead shot,
sab, but as this is my birthday, sab
and don It want to stain it with blood
L overlook your incorporate language
and will not kill you, sab
And with that he strobe swiftly out
OF the hotel and was seen no moro, and
the landlord, who had heard all, said
to the little man:
stay here month if you can, and
there will be no bill to pay. Two known
the colonel for six years, and 1 thought
he ate fire instead of cotton