New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1898-09-20

the possession of a Mr. Eustace. Eusts, and hs
took it away to Headey. where he at that time
| building his villa. Afford House.
Wanted Chance-"You don't seem to he pleased
| that the Is ended" suggested the plain orii-
| Well replied the civilian ofice-holder Il did
sort of hope the soldiers wouldn't get back In time
| to run for office at the next election. "-(Chicago
| Post.
The bulletin board in front OF Cleveland church
the other Sunday contained this rather ambiguous
announcement. Evening Service O'Clock. Hell is
Paved With Good Intentions All are welcome.
Seats free"
THIS QUEER OLD WORLD.
1t is queer how things go by contrares here
IT'S always too cold or too hot
And the prizes miss. you know always appear
To be better than those that we've got:
II is always to- wet. too dusty and dry,
And the land is too rough or too fiat.
There's nothing that's perfect beneath the blue sky.
It's pretty good world for all that
Some people are born but to dig in the soil,
And sweat for the bread that they eat
While some never learn the hard meaning OF toll.
And live on the. things that are sweet;
few are too rich and lot are too poor.
And some are too lean or too fat
-Bu;-
It's pretty good world for all that.
The man who must think env!es them that must b
Ever pounding and digging for men
Might play With the brush or the peni' ''
Life is empty and sterile and fiat:
Man begins to complain on the day Of his birth.
Cleveland Leader.
Here IS a personal item from THE Delta Light
house" OF Greenville. Miss: John F. Mosoy is the
ticket. lie broke all records by making a mall de-
livery on his wheel. But the best OF all he seems
TO mean business with Miss E.. Just across the
railroad. Look out old fox.
why is IT," he asked in his scornful, masculine
way. THAT woman will wear a little poker chip
with few feathers in It and call IT a hat?
Why is it," she replied that man VII wear
length being from and half TO two times It's
diameter and think he has added TO his appear
After mature reflection each gave UP the others
Questlon.-(Chicago Post
you will observe" said a teacher reported b.
The Chicago News" that the higher the altitude
attained the colder the temperature becomes
But isn't Il warmer up in the mountains asked
the youth at the foot OF the class. Certainly not
replied the professor. why do you think It would
be warmer ,here?" II thought the atmosphere was
heated by the mountain ranges" answered the
youngster.
Walker (thoughtrully)-Th doctor said was 10
give you iron as a tonic. but i've forgotten JUST
how he said 70 give II 10 you.
Mrs Walker (promptly)-Are you sure II WASH
in the shape OF a wheel?-Crruth
Canoes OF birch and canvas are being shipped to
Palestine. Japan. India and China by Bangor tSle)
manufacturers. One recently sent TO lndia was
made TO the order OF a British officer. and the COST
OF transportation was more than $40. canoe ,us'
ordered is intended for trip up the Jordan
Uncle Hiran-They say the sun never sets on the
Aunt Hannah-Doesn't It, now And we have
such magnificent sunsets over here'-'PuoK'
A Berlin paper thus speaks OF the women guides
now employed In that city They are Pa'''
elderly partly midde-aged ladies, with cer'a"
amount OF knowledge OF the world some nc,
quantance with languages. and an assured anu
amiabIe demeanor. to whose care lone femaie
travellers the lady travelling parties recently
imported from Scandinavia and America intrus'
themselves Most Of these resolute persons are
Russians or Austrians."
III do as the Romans do. -, ,ar
Smith.-lndeed YOU won't. You'll do as me s An'e
leans do-pay twice as much Tor ee'!'"He
any else would.-(Puck
"The I.eesburg Fla) Commercial" says; Thou
sands of pauper Mexicans alleged TO be How
ing into Texas as a result OF the recent law COM
pelling all men between the ages OF eighteen ana
thirty five to serve a term in the army
Blrallllc.-F First Hcelcr-The new ballot-oo1 they
arc setting out Is bird: !, s,,r,, I'm.
Second Hc.lcr-Ah! Then l; can De stunco-p"'
diSnapolis Journal.
I'm his prayer to the accident which had befallen
the Prince OF Wales. And now. brethren. conuh'
ued the inviting cleric, 1--WE will Join In singing
hymn No so-and-so, Courage. Brother. DO No'
stumble" The congregation saw the Joke. though
the minister did not.
First Suburbanite-Th Thompson tells some queer
tales about this place, but you can't believe any
thing he says. -, -.
Second Suburbante-I should say not. He says
he had n cook once stay Ions enough 10 get
malaria.-Puck.
George w. Otis. who sent to Investigate the
opportunities offered by the Klondlke for the san
Francisco Chamber OF Commerce. has written a
letter 10 his employers stating that all the Claims
worth working have already been bought up
''What do you understand by the line, Water
water every where, nor any drop to drink? asked .
the kentucky major. 4.
''Why that there wasn't anything but water 10
he had" replied the Kentucky colonel-tchicaSo
Post.
Mrs l.. II. Seelye. who died at Lapont Texas. .
few days ago. a soldier In the Civil War ana
was known as Frank Thompson. OF Company f.
"a Michigan Volunteers. one Of her sons is In the
Regular Army.
Characteristics.-"I was here FIRST" said Agui'
naldo. resentfully. why should Dewey be con-
sdered much more of man than am?
well" replied the candid adviser. your metn,,
DDS are different Dewey keeps his eyes open az,
the time. and YOU merely keep your mouth open.
Star.