Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1898-12-21

I'm sorry for the boor who crowds his way
to places where
He is not welcome and proceeds to ride MS
hobby there;
L blush for him whose speech is all maue
up of Us and mes
Who thinks that he upSets the heart OF
every girl he sees.
I pity fools who think the world for them
alone was planned,
And those who loudly talk of things they
But oh | grieve most deeply for the fellow
who is seen
With a blazing diamond in shirt that
may have once been clean.
Charley, DEAR said young Mrs. Tor
kins, you must not blame me for the
way played whist
I'm not blaming you"
at wasn't my fault that you didn't
have trumps when | expected you to-.
mo; [ was to blame"
"NOW, | didn't say that. But l was
getting along so nicely in the game. l
had learned I'll the rules by heart-never
trump your partners ace, and when in
doubt take the trick, and when the right
bower is turned down, make it next, and
all the rest of them"
Il don't see how you could have made
a mistake after fortifyng yourself in
that manner he commented gently.
II didn't make a mistake she pro-
tested
Then | don't see what the matter
could have BEEN
4 know. Only I scarcely like to tell
you, because 1 know you will think it su-
perstldous and silly
Did somebody put charm on us?'
Il don't know whether it was done on
purpose or not But there wasn't any
chance for Us to have any luck. Just be
tore we played the hand that decided the
rubber, | counted the cards. And do yosl
know. Charley, dear" she said. dropping
her voice to an Impressive whisper, There
were exactly thirteenr'-W ashington Star
But how" they asked, in much snxi-
city, do you account for the sweeping
triumph Of q ship which had been chris
tened with champagne.
Now the Sea Dog was incapable of dis
stimulation
Why" he replied frankly, ''tEe cham
payne must have been adulterated, l sup
pose. Yes!''
In any event, the facts had to be
squared with our best moraIity.-Detroit
Journal.
This story is told Of Commissioner
Peck during his recent visit in Paris:
Like all Americans he was not to be
put OUT by trifes. One night an excited
belIboy woke him by crying that the ho-
| tri was on fire; How near Is it| he was
askeq: IN this corridor. monsieur, at
NO. To- Well, this rooms no. 40: call
me again when the fire gets to So =
-:O:-
| People, as rule, are very sensitive about
their identity, says an exchange Bill
| 1ngs doesn't like to be called Jones. and
Adams shows Il good Gaal Of the ''old
Adam when he is mistaken for an ex-
pressman. The London Realm tells a
| story Illustrative of this sensitiveness:
| The late Lord AylesbgBry was standing
baTeheaded in a well-knorEn hatter's shop
| IN 1iccadilly While his hat was being
irolled. a bishop-who, being still alive,
has not reached hrs tUrr1 for posthumous
anecdotes, and must consequently be
nameless-entered the Shop in full attire
anu. seeing Lord Ay1efIDury bareheaded
| misrOOk him for Sn0pman
Eaklng off his own head-covering. the
bishop said. Il waut 10 know if you have
| Il lat like this
| its owner, and turned Oh his heel with
| the curt remark:
SNo, haven't, and if I had I'd be hung
| before I'd wear it,
'tGracious! | newer eGgRQcted to see VOC
| do-euch vulgar thing as to buy peanuts
| at Il street stand!"
IL WAS LIS lONtIg- Ill E4G)cEdUIc DFOnUO-
ciata0n that charmed me. Wait Listenr.
And as still another approached the
! voice Of the Yender rang cut on the crisp
air: Hot peanutsG Two socks for fiyeI'7
-CIncinnati Enquirer.
Look ye, man. why haven't you
cleaned and polished my boots?'' asked
Dean Swift of his eccentric servant.
John, at tavern where they had Just
passed the night.
WHAT'S the use of polishing such
things?" asked john, deggedly, as he
held up the BOOTS diseolored and grimy.
''Eagy. true" said the dean, and with
out further protest he put them on. Then
he went to the Office and gave orders that
John should have no breakfast. He par
took 0ktis own and dfnecdeEi she hOstler to
| saddle the horses ana Lead them to the
door.
Mercy cried john. wh4n he found
the dean ready to start, ~ haven't had
any breakfast yet"
oh replied Swift, IT can't see the
use of yallr breakfasting; you t'yould soon
be hungry again"
John could think of no answer to such
an unexpected application ut his own
SophlStry, $50 he maintained a satOicaI ST.
lence.
They mGelnted and rode ON, the dean in
advance reading his prayerEpadk, and the
servant following at a respectful distance
hdrk yee my man, S:agd a stranger
whom they met, after he bad ikseryed
the two closely, you and your nnaster
seem to be an uncommonly sober pair;
may L ask who you are and Mhepe you
ape going?'
we are as near saints as we can be-"
neItfed John. s0aemnly.. .'and We are go
iaag to heaven, hope. My masters mray-
ing aad I'm doing the fasting
-:O:-
Il know the punlpkin pie was rather
thin as to filing said the landladg, al
most crying but don't think he had
any right to say what he did,
What did he say" asked the second
table border.
He asked me if I didn't think that the
piecrust would be improved if it had ar
other coat of paint. Indianapolis Jour
nal.
What makes you say YOU think there
is going to be another war?''