The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1898-07-03
JOE SHEESTER'S PLEDGE.
OWE JOKE THAT MADE MIN OUR
DRINKING LIQUOR.

~ A. - 80 AAAsA WA
DRINKING LIQUOR.
when EIs Found That He Couldn't Tell the
Difference BotNVcen n Woodcn Horse ana
Hia FaIthraI Mare nlctsoN ESQ Decided THAT
IL was Time To swear on. ana Etc Dla.
81 boar that Unclo Joc Shooster Of Berkn
county Is dead" said John Gilbert, the travel.
ling grocerymNn. land that reminds me that
he never broke tho pledge no made more than
twenty years ago. l suppose that pledge repro
sontod about the suddenest and most lasting
case of turning over a new leaf In tho natter
of ~tarrying too long at tho wine cup OF which
there is any record. Uncle Joe Shecstor vas q
jolly old Pennsylvania Dutch farmer, and he
had been for forty years or moro conspicuous az
n citizen through his perennial convlviality. A
robust bachelor, with plenty OF money, he had
been able to maintain an almost Uninterrupted
jag for twoscore years, without having to carry
with 1t a single caro-. either financial. physical,
or mcntal-a condition, in tho estimation Of
many obvious fellow citizons OF his, 30 entirely
blissful as scarcely to DO classcd among thlnRs
of tho earth earthly.
There were few nights in the week when
Joo's faithful bay mare Betsey could not b
seen tied to the tavern hitchlng post in the vii.
lago near which his farm lay. waiting patiently
for the coming of her master. when his liba.
tions, shared by an always willing collection Of
loungers In the eRrroom, had produced a certain
condition Of boozincss in Uncle Joe that made
him no longer agreeable or profitable company.
At this stage he was always conducted to his
horse and helped upon her back. Uncle Joe
never had much control of his physical or mon
tai faculties at such times, so long as he was
afoot. but tho moment he was in the saddle on
Betsey's back he would straighten up like q
Major. AS soon as he was well settled in the
saddle and the reins were in his hands his mare
would be off like q shot, and she invariably de-
livered Joe safe at his farmhouse door.
when Uncle Joe arrived at that particular
degree Of stupidity in his cups the boys were in
the habit of playing all sorts of tricks and Jokes
on him, the general %obliquity Of his discernment
making him an easy and credulousv victim. Joe
paid but small heed to his surroundings at such
times. In ono Of the villages in that neighbour
hood there was a man-and he's there yet, 1
g~ucss-who had a remarkable genius for carv.
ing and modelling effigies of ANIMALS in wood.
He once carved a wooden dog for a patron, and
had placed it on the sidewalk outside his shop
to give passers by the privilege of admir-.
ing the work of art. So natural in
pose was the figure. and so true to life,
that a vagrapt and scrappy coach dog
that came along soon afterward stopped in
front of the wooden dog. bristled up and
growled. and then pitched into the mock dog
with a savageness and earnestness that left no
doubt in the minds of those who witnessed tho
assault that the coach dog was deceived by the
cunning of the artist into believing the wooden
dog a real one. The coach dog did not discover
its error until 1t had wiped up the sidewalk with
the image several times and knocked its legs Off
Then the real dog dropped the wooden dog.
gaZed a second or so at the shattered ruins with
staring eyes, and then sneaked away with its
tail between its legs, about the most ashamed
and sheepish-looking dog that ever found itself
detected in foolish business.
This artist in wood carving got an order
from q Reading harnessmaker one time. about
twenty years ago, to chop out a life.sized bay
horse, which the merchant wanted as a sign in
front Of his store. The horse was to be built
standing at rest. in an easy. horse-like pose, and
to be mounted on four large, easy-runningc cas-
tiers, SO that it could be moved in and out of the
store with the least possible amount Of wear
and tear on the clerk. This order was executed
to the letter, and in a manner that excited the
wonder and admiration of all who saw it. ID
was 30 natural, some one declared. that II tho
wooden horse had neighed it wouldn't have
from it. This masterpiece was stored in q shed
to await the pleasure OF the Reading merchant.
old mare Betsey at the tavern hitching post ono
evening and took bis usual place in the barroom
gagged some of the boys were seized with an idea
f b%piiIit they r sho1IEht a mad t6eT i@% of dPisrtiiHpla nFG.
eeeded to Carry it % out. i They SUSCEPTIBILITY
removed the wooden horse from the shed.
s p%t to " ts ssda shed and Isnd Bride shnt S Se IT It a 1Sa P 1isd
the counterfeit presentment Of a horse to the
tavern with a largo cargo aboard. Some of tho
boys helped him on the horse; united the halter.
as they always did with Betsey, and put the
reins in Joe's hands. Joe had submitted to all
this mechanically. as was his habit, but when
he Strengthened up in tho saddle, and Betsey
did not dash away. he sat q moment speechlesg
with establishment, and then slapping his leg
with one hand exclaimed In a tone OF maudlin
my alt IP1otgey iss palkky nit me, py 9hinEI'
IN lead Betsey a ways, then she'll go all right
The road from the tavern was wide and
Beyond the tavern Of 800 feet or more. At the
bottom Of the hill was a level stretch Of a few
level country beyond. The wooden horse was
pulled along until it was we'll started down the
as it increased its speed Uncle Joe gave a whoop
of delight. Two or three of the boys, ran after
effect II Hot on I Gncie ' Joe. u" The - wooden horse on j
wheels wheels sped ISTo.s doT ,he the lHysI steep; hard h ~:
the other side. There its speed. OF course.
soon decreased, and the horse at last came TO 2
standstill. just n moment it was Quiescent, and
then began backing down the hill. aud stopped
on the level at tho bottom. 1t was plain that
Uncle Joe was dumfounded. He sat still q
the ground, He passed his hands up and down
"'She ISIS tell, My alt Petsey iss tot. shtif
una shtrait in her shoes, yet! udderwice, de
witches has her, alretty!
. Joc's, alarm over the strange situation
sobercd him up somewhat. lie started back
toward the tavern. Anticipating this, the jokerS
had removed Bctsey to her place at the hitching
post. Presently Uncle Joe appeared there, puff
ing from his hnrd pull up the hill. Before he
could report his astounding discovery. Betaey
greeted him with q whinny Of recognition. Joe
stopped short. and for a full minute stared ab
the mare with bullying eyes. while she stamped
impatiently. Then no sank down on the tavern
Steps and threw his hands in the air;
"'My ALI petsey shtlM set in to hOller, alrettY,'
no moaned. unit my alt Petsey alife unit via
nerin' here on to hill, yit! Te witches sure bass
my alt Petseyi 1
"While Uncle Joe was bemoaning the posses
sion of his mare by witches tho jokers arrived
with the wooden horse from the hollow. As 1t
was run up in front Of the tavern one Of tho
boys said:
81 knew that wooden horse was as natural
ms life. but | didn't think it was natural enough
IN L,nt III nnd RIM nNnNl'