davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Press., 1898-03-24
NEW. PUNCTUATION MARK.

Badly Needed Invention Suggested by
 the Caustic Copy Reader.
 ..I shall be famous 1 have an idea that will send my name laundering down through the ages" remarked the copy reader. :. ..-.....
 "Humphr' replied the humorist. Tt You spend most of your time destroying the good ideas of others. ''
 We'll that may be, although you never have any idea to destroy, seeing that you get those which you have from Joe Miller's jokebook and the old al- inanacs. |" e--,-- :
 e4Oh, we'll, let's have your ideal''s. 2 ITO tell the truth. it was suggested to me by you. '' #
 "Ahl thought as much, and yet you say''- @sss a.-..sa. <
 "Don' t be in too big hurry. You haven't heard my idea 1"
 What is it?'' -. .E ~s.
 CT have invented 8 punctuation mark for humor. It is intended to show the reader where to laugh. In olden times, you know, the point of the joke used to be printed in italics. Nowadays there is norway to show the point, and, assmany of the jokes, such as yours, have TO point, it is impossible to print the point in italics. Now, suggest that punctuation mark be placed at the be- ginning and at the end of everything supposed to be, funny, so that the reader may be prepared to laugh when he be- gins to read and know when he has reached the point and it is time to laugh. would suggest that the mark be two little squares placed above the line, and shall call it by my name. What do you think of that for an idea7 It was suggested by your stuff, as told you ... E But the humorist had given the copy reader look of scorn and had vanished. Chicago Times-Herald. E
The Press., 1898-03-24
 FoY and the Lunafic.

Eddie Foy, the comedian, spent a summer vacation at his old home in central New York. One day as he was strolling past the large insane asylum that stands on the outskirts of the town he was startled by low "Hist!' and on looking up saw one of the worst heads that ever came under his gaze peering over the wall. Eddie was not frightened, for he did not think the maniac could scale the wall, but he quickened his pace. He had proceeded but a short distance when he heard scrambling, and on looking saw that the madman had climbed over the wall and was following him. Eddie walked fast, but the, maniac, who was an inn mense fellow, with face that wore demoniac look, walked faster. Foy trot- ted a little, and the madman trotted after him. Eddie finally broke into 8 run and was mortified to see that his pursuer was not only running also, but was gaining steadily. Eddie is not much of sprinter, but on this occasion he made remarkable time, but soon Foy could hear the labored breathing of his pursuer and felt that he could make no further effort. Just as he was about to faint from, exhaustion the maniac reached forward, touched him gently on the shoulder and said: "Tagl You're it. ''-San Francisco Argonaut.
The Press., 1898-03-24
FRENCH JOURNALS.
Shares of Several Bought and Sold Daily
 I on the Stock Exchange.


 Most of the French journals have 8 salle de depeches, where bulletins are displayed and Il museum of relics of the paper is kepG French journalism. is much more personal in regard to its lit erary composition than that of England or America. 4 large proportion of the articles are signed with the names of the writers, even when the work is more or less of a routine nature, such as the sporting or law departments of the paper. On the other hand, the own ership of newspapers is less frequently lodged in single hands than is tlie case in America Very mary of the French papers are owned by companies or asso- citations, while the stock of several of the best known. such as The Figaro and Petit Journal, is bought and sold daily on the Stock Exchange, the quotations appearing as regularly as those of rail- way shares or Government bonds.
 The circulation of all but very few; of the Paris papers varies enormously, according to the contents. If a paper contains a striking article, we'll adver- tised previously. or if its feuilleton, con- tinued story or memoirs, which most of the French journals consider an essen tial part of their daily issue, is by some we'll. known author, the circulation will run up 50, 900 or Io0,0 in week and drop again as soon as the special feature is discontinued. When Le Jour began publishing M. Henri Rochefort's memoirs, its circulation went up i've fold, although the price of the paper had been doubled in order to make hay while the Sun Shone
 The French press is much more con- centrated in the capital than that of other European countries In Germany, for instance, it is not the press of Berlin that has the largest circulation or the greatest influence. In this, as in many other matters, however, the French press only bears out the saying that Paris is France. ''-Chautauquan.
The Press., 1898-03-24

MILLIONS GIVEN AwAY.-It is certainly gratifying to the public 10 know of one concern in the land who are not afraid to be generous to the needy and suffering. The proprietors of Dr. Kings New Dis covery, for Consumption, Coughs and Colds, have given away over ten million trial bottles of this great medicine; and have the satisfaction of knowing it has absolutely cured thousands of hopeless cases. Asthma, Bronchitis. Hoarseness, and all diseases of the I'm oat, Chest and Lungs absolutely cured by it. Call on E. K. Taft, Druggist, and get trial bottle free. Regular size soc. and $1. Every bottle guaranteed, or price refunded.
The Press., 1898-03-24

Luther's burial place, but Prof. Kostlin, of Halle, his biographer, asserts that the body has never been removed from the Palace church in Wittenberg, and that it was seen there in 1899, lying in a coffin, the wood of which had mouldered away, by the side of Melanchthon's.
The Press., 1898-03-24

The Indian wheat crop Is said to be an ahead of time. The export movement is already beginning, consequently, and promises to be the largest in six years. This is not calculated to assist the reck. less Chicago speculator in his extraordi- nary attempt to dictate the price of bread for the whole world, or even for the United States. -EcchGnge.
The Press., 1898-03-24

After using 10 cent trial size of Ely's Cream Balm you will be sure to buy the 50 cent size. Cream Balm has no equal in curing catarrh and cold in head. Ask your druggist for it or send 10 cents to us.
 j, ELY BRos., 55 Warren St.. N. Y. City
 I suffered from Catarrh three years; it got so bad could not work; I used two bottles of Ely's Cream Balm and am en- tirely well; I would not be without it, A. c. Clarke, 341 Shawmut Ave-, Boston.
The Press., 1898-03-24
Quite Likely.

Teacher Willie. if your. father gave you 10 cents and then took away and gave them to your brother. what would that make? x
 Trouble. 2 Yale Record.
The Press., 1898-03-24
Rabbfts That Climb.

A correspondent writes to the London Field that while he was hunting rabbits with ferrets i'll January he found rabbits on three occasions in willow trees which overhung the water of a mill stream. The miller said that it was not an un- usual circumstance. Some months ago The Field told of other rabbits which had been shot, like raccoons or opos- sums. out of trees in England. In re- cent years cases of rabbits in trees have been reported with increasing frequency. From Australia has come the most re- markable story of rabbits as climbers. The only way in which rabbits could be kept out of certain tracts of land. in Australia was by the building of wire fences about them, the fences having meshes so small that the beasts could not crawl through and being so high that they could not jump over. The rab- bits have clawed at the wires until their nails gradually have become hooked. Some of the rabbits learned to scale the fences, and then great additional ex- pense was necessary, for the top of the fence had to be bent over like J up side down, with the hook out, so that the rodents could not get over the top, Australian rabbits are said to, be learn ing to climb trees fop the leaves.
The Press., 1898-03-24

Number 52.
"Music,'' said the. eminent pianist,

"aMusic,'' said the eminent pianist as the reporter to whom he had kindly accorded an interview ran his pencil rapidly over the paper, "is the most elevating of sciences. It refines the sem abilities and enlarges the heart. It. what were you about to aslz?"
 'tI should like to know, sir, how you regard the distinguished pianist Pro lessor. von bergstein as 8 musician?''
 "He is nothing, sir, but 8 cheap, vile rate keyboard banger, sir," exclaimed the eminent musician, scowling. - Strand Magazine. r-
 From all over the country comes words of praise for Chamberlain's Cough Rem- ,edy. Here is a sample letter from 0. Shep of Little Rock, Ark: "I was suf- fering from very severe cold, when read of the cures that had been effected by Chamberlain's Cough Remedy. ] concluded to give it trial, and accord ingly procured 8 bottle. It gave me prompt relief, and I have the best reason for recommending it very highly, which II do with pleasure. For sale by E. K. Taft, Stafford Springs, and G. L. Phil lips, South Coventry.
 The new fireboat for the city of New York has had its name changed from the William Strong to the Robert A. Van Wyck. It was named last fall, when i, was launched, and Mayor Strong bought fine set of colors for 1t but Tammany Commissioner Scannell ordered the change. Obviously the boats name should be Dennis. Springfield Republican For some time I have suffered witt rheumatism and tried every imaginable remedy without effect. MT. F. G. s Wells advised me to try Chamberlain's Pain Balm, telling me that it had cured many cases of long standing like mine. have used four bottles, and feel sure tha one more bottle will make my cure com plete. A. P. .KoNTz. .Claremole. Ark. Solo by E. K. Taft, Stafford Springs, and G. l. Phillips, South Coventry.
The Press., 1898-03-24
"I can say one thing for Chamberlain.

"I can say one thing for Chamberlain's Collie, Cholera and Diarrhoea Remedy :; and that is that 1t excels any proprietary medicine have seen on the market, and I have been in the practice of medicine and the drug business for the past forty years," writes J. M. Jackson, M. D., Bronson, Fla. Physicians like Chamber lain's Collie, Cholera and Diarrhoea Rem edy because it is a scientific preparation, and because it always gives quick relief Get a bottle at the drug store of E. K Taft, Stafford Springs, and G. l.. Phillips South Coventry.
The Press., 1898-03-24
Do Your Feet Ache I

Shake into your shoes Aliens Foot-Ease a powder. It cures Corns, Bunions, Chilblains Shoe stores. 25c. Sample FREE. Address, Allen 8. Olmsted, LeRoy, Y.
The Press., 1898-03-24

Clear the window of the soul of cob webs, spider weaved by prejudice and unbeiief and sin, that through faiths crystalline atmosphere you may look through the gate into the heavenly city. --F. R. Macduff. ID. n
The Press., 1898-03-24

One of the pests of being a well known man is the shoals of begging letters that assail him. Prince Bismarck receives these appeals by the thousands. One day his secretary added up the sums begged for. and found that they amounted to 1O,- 900 ,000 marks.
The Press., 1898-03-24

fering from throat and lung difficulties to call at our store for sample bottle of Otto's Cure, which we are distributing free of charge. We confidently recom- mend it as a. cure for Coughs, Colds, Bronchitis, Consumption, and all diseases of the throat and lungs. It will stop 8 cough quicker than any other known rem edy. We believe it will cure you. In eroup or whooping cough 1t is sure to give instant relief. Large sizes Soc. and 25c. Sold by E. K. Taft. Stafford Springs, and w. F. Fuller, Somers. 3
The Press., 1898-03-24

DoEs Nor THIS ATTRACT You ?-Those who are sick, suffering or out of health, are always anxiously seeking a chance to get we'll To such this is welcome news. You can consult free, by letter, Dr. Greene, 35 West 14th St., New York City, the most famous and successful physician in the cure of disease. whose wonderful cures have made his fame world wide. Write to him about your case. He will send his opinion, advice, and fully explain your disease free. Write to him now do not delay. Follow his advice and be cured.
The Press., 1898-03-24

Under the amended trout law. fishing may begin on April 1, as usual, but ends on June 25, two weeks earlier than here- tofore.
The Press., 1898-03-24

Japanese theatres have their boxes so arranged that the ladies can change dress es, as it is not considered stylish for a lady to appear an entire evening in one dress and in the same ornaments.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1898-07-27
That Next Step.

Nearly six yaars ago, when the Dispen-
sary Law was enacted, its advocates apol-
ogized to the prohibitionists by ssying it
was step in the line of prohibition.
The title OF the Act is ian ct to- prohibit
the manufacture emu sale of intoxicating
liquors." DC. We have been patiently
waiting for it's apoiogists to take the
second s. step, but now they are dodging
tho issue by undertaking to make the
people believe it is the best solution of
the whiskey problem. and they try to get
out OF taking the next atep by cracking
that OLD chestAui, "prohibition don't
prohibit"
We have been made to believe that
everybody Is already prohibited from
selling liquor-only the State has that
right. Now, let our friends take the 9TH
or step. and prohibit the State from doing
what she has prohibited her citizens from
DONG, aud then we will SEQ whether pro-
hibition prohibits or not Step up, gen
tleInen; you said one step had been
taken, and If it takes two steps to prohi-
bitiOn, step right up.
J have something moro to sey on this
subject, but not now.
j l.. TpfUJ,I
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1898-07-27

Reports from Santiago about the
engagement between the fleets of
Sampson and Ccrvcra dwell with par
ticular stress the Inconvenience caused
the American gunncrs by the use Of
the old-fashioncd smoking powder.
1t is not doubted By experts that the
wipging of the flying Spanish ships
would have been accomplished even
more promptly than it was had our
guns been fired with smokclrSs powder.
As it was, our veSScl' were 50 cnycl-
opcd in the smoke Of their guns that
many a shot went wild that otherwise
would have struck homo.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1898-07-27
Spain Sues For Peace.

WAsnl>Gr"N, july 2G Spain has
sued for peace formerly and directly
to President Mckinley through NJ.
Canbon. the French Ambassador.
The following official statement is
made:
"'I'lio I'rcnci. Ambassador on behalf
Of the a;oycrnncnt Of Spain and by di-
rcciion Of the Spanish Minister of for
cign affair, presented 70 ihe l'rcsi
dent this afternoon ut the White
llousc 4 ncs,age from tic Spanish
govcrumcn, looking tn the termination
Of I,c war and The settlement Of terms
Of peace
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1898-07-27
MOseley News.

Mr.. II. o. Shirley and wife, from La
vonia. Ga, nre visiting in this section.
Mrs: W. L. Baskins, from Bordeaux, Ia
spending awhile here with her mother
Mr. Charley Browo, from Cedar Creek,
Ga, is spending few days under the
parental roof
Mr.. w. II. Banister, from Psy Up, Ga,
Ia circulating here.
Mr.. Tom. +. Mckinney. formerly OF THE
place, now residing al Air Line, Ga. WAS
here few davs ego Tum says ne |. we'll
pleased with Georgia but thinks he Will
return here next year.
Mr.. VIII Gentry and family, of Starr,
are here with Mrs. Pettixr.w.
DR.. s. T. GileH. from Walker County.
GA. is snending n week here with friends
and relatives.
Miss Bessie Pruitt. from Anderson. Ia
friends.
Died on the 10Th inst., Mrs. Mary Stacks.
relict Of F. o. Stacks. deceaeed On the
following day her remains were laid to
rest In the 0enerostee Cemetery, Rev. ".
Islack conducting the funeral services.
relatives and friends. ere left to cherish
her memory.
The trustees of Liberty School met last
Saturday evening to elect teacher, the
result OF which would not look nice in
print
MIR. Ellis Huckabee. from Lowndesville.
was up here yesterday.
Mrs. Sallie Seigler, from Slate, Ca, was
In this vicinity last " eek.
series Of meetings began In the Bap.
tist Church here last night and will con-
tinue throughout the week.
Mr.. +. l.. Hell says the gossippers have
gone 10 work In real earnest; that thew
have concentrated their forces on him, and
whilest he Ia thoroughly seasoned to gos.
sip, yet the lies they are weaving into it is
more than he can stand but aside from
this he says he Is going TO thresh out about
16O pounds of rice and offer to them by
way Of a compromise.
Mr.. j T.. franklin, from Troy, S. c.,
repr. senting the Augusta Chronicle, spent
while here last Monday. PEpRo.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1898-07-27
Millions Given Away

II is certainly gratifying to the public to
know of one concern in the land who ere
not afraid to be gene' Gus to the needy and
suffering. The proprietors Of DR.. Kings
New Discovery for Consumption. Coughs
and Colds, have given away over ten MIL
lion trial bottles Of this great IL edicine:
ano nave the satisfaction of knowing 1t
less cases. Asthma, Bronchitis, Hoarse.
ness and all diseases OF the Throat. Chest.
and Lungs are surely cured by it. Call
on Htll-Orr Drug Co. and get a trial bottle
free. Regular size SOC. and ST. Every
bottle guaranteed, or price refunded.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1898-07-27

The papers are making a contempt
ible fuss about who should receive
the honor for destroying Cervcra S
feet-Sampson or Schlcy. When it
comes to honoring individuals, it
belongs to Bob Evans, commander of
the vessel and crew who first discovered
the fleeing Spaniards and opened the
fight. AS commander-in-chi Of the
vessels the responsibility rested on
the shoulders of Sampson under whose
instructions the other vessels were
and arc acting. But why make row
about it when there are honors suffi-
cientfor all engaged. America expects
Americans to do their duty at all
times, anyway.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1898-07-27

If the United States were at war
with sane nation, having govern
mcnt controlled by the ordinary
dictates of common sense. there would
have been plea for peace weeks ago
surely after the destruction Of the
only efficient squadron which it had
afoat. But there is no reckoning on
Spain. The ignorance Of it's people is
so dense, the Government is so much
more concerned for the safety of the
dynasty than for the welfare OF the
nation, that it will apparently not
yield until thoroughly smashed.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1898-07-27

On the 9th page Of the lNTELlLGEN-
GER this week We publish a circular
letter issued by j. II. Sloan, of Au-
-usta, one of the leading cotton men
Of the South, in reference to changing
the size of cotton bales. We would
advise our farmers to read it carefully.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1898-07-27

The boys in camp are not to blame
for not being at the front, and they
are as worthy Of our praise as if they
were in the first battle line.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1898-07-27

a movement has been started at
Tampa, Fla, to present \,miral Ger.
vera Il home on Tampa Bay in rccos-
milton Of his humane and chiyalric
treatment OF Iioii.on Ard li> crew,
and !: desire to -n.c lin from insult
and ros-iblr l.ath should he return
to Spain.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1898-07-27

Ordinarily this is the season for IN
adverse trade balance, but our exports
continue very much larger than they
were year ago, while our imports are
very much less. and the Indications
are that for the month Of July he
balance Of trade will BE- in favor Of
this country to the extent Of about
$40 900 900
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1898-07-27

Interesting statistics arc at hand
showing that the value Of all the
breadstuffs exported from the United
States for the fiscal year ending June
30, 1898, aggregates the unprecedented
sum of 1924 ,70G, ,0G0. This represents
an increase of Sl26, ,SiS, ,OSH over the
figures for the fiscal year preceding,
or "a per cent. While the major por
tion Of this increase is divided among
the northern and western ports. the
figures show that the southern ports
come in for decidedly the largest per
centagcs Of gain.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1898-07-27

The American losses in the Santiago
campaign will not reach Il thousand
men, since many Of the wounded will
be able to return to their commands
in Il short time II the yellow fever
does not assume It virulcnt form and
extend It's operations the victory will
go down in history as one Of the most
inexpensive in modern warfare, con
sidcring its Importance.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1898-07-27
THE WAR PROGRESSES A PACE.
"On, on ye brave,
Who rush to glory or the grave"

Those spanard have taken the saps boys Well
not surprised that small number fall here
the for while and flag we shall
open on them with four and sixnc and follow heavy
and rapid fire Then shall pitch them
Then will let fly few of big dynamite bombs
plod Mines as it wish entirely enemy
let a few shots fly like this:
so Envelopes good Enveo 1c sheets wr
u s. Flags 1c GOOD
Be- "a fine Steel Dress Safety Curtain Poles
plete 2o Felt Window Shades 10c Opaque @
fringe 25 good Buggy Whips &C. 1Oc 15c Some exngy
low Tacum Powder Tooth Cakes
Blonde Brunette Sc John Rces 15c
Imperial Perfumes bulk, Tappan Bows
hex for 10c Silk Sce 10 20c
Ribbons c &C. Sc 10 Fancy yard Agents
Best GCor Spool Coonbotom prices grade Writing
q"e Best Black ox 7c pair Best Ball Sewing Cotton
1Oc lb Heavy Hose and Half Hose
omcspnn Be- 81 and dc yard Gents Drill Stan
da Prints c yard Good Prints yard Fly Traps
lo and 12c to close Heavy Checked Homepun
and the Richmond Extra 6 Handy Backing Polish
best yet sc.
few pairs closing out at prices you've heard Of
but did not believe Chewing Gum half Magic Cleaner
Augur Bits Oc lot Best 25c &c. &c aud 1Oc Lamps
10 15 Zoe and 25c German Oc auze
2uart Short Coffee Pot Agate Dppers 1Oc Agate
15 Agate Preserving Kettles Cups
SOC and 4Oc Set Complete Tea S nicely decorated
CASTLE Soap 5 Hidden Spring Curling longs best
20c Combs Sc Npper &C. Tooth
Brushes Shaving Brushes Common Tumb. Jelly Tamb jars
Etc, at prices which defy competition.
10 you feel strain of patriotism Then
f the enemy they must be strong iDdesa
Yours always truly -
{. s. minor - - l)C. STORE.
SPOT DOES TmIzn WORK
CLEMSON AGRICULTURAL and MECHANICAL COLLEGE
six DEPARTMENTS.
agricultural, Mechanical, Literary,
Chemical. Textle. Nitarv
Best equipped College in the South 45o
s HENRY 8 FARTZ0cs rn.r..on r.,...s d =, sS
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1898-07-27
Fairyiew Stoch Show.

FairviOw Stock Show will be held Oh
the 3rd day OF September, 1893. Every
body has Is special invitation 10 be pres
cnt. we expect more people, more stock
and better music than $50 havo ever had
before. Come one, come all and SEQ tho
show. J. STEWART PEDEN,
Secretary.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1898-07-27

Col. John T. Thomas, the Confcdc-
rate historian, is earnestly cndcayor-
ing to complete the Confederate rolls
So that he may at the next session OF
the Legislature report the work finish
ed TO this end he will visit the sew
cral counties from which some loll is
yet missing, and seek to have it sup
piled. 1t is hoped that in this good
work Col Thomas will have the CO.
operation of cx-Conicdcratcs through
out the State.