The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1898-01-12
LUNAR NCAUsTlCs'


/ 80, According TO his owl, Folly.
:, thc hurls.burly OF everyday ousl-
:" mon are not always prepared to
"s, q fool according 10 his own fol-
=, md hence tho latter often departs
. ~ tho Impression thathe Is the wise
Wv. and you the other one. This is}of-
...d as a reason for tho book called
Lunar caustic." which has made a
..,,,Ion in New York. Here is a part
4 81 is vocabulary: < .,y
.rt-A plagiarism on nature.
Ga man who eau deny more than
he cur ror t,sment-A Notice OF the sale OF
4 ,SSnp goods at high prices.
SAN" Notwithstanding that existed last
1 week. -, !, S,,,,, |, ,,o,,
h' SSo%n"fae,or-An enemy to be Stunned
affair accepting his. favors.
1Rnrc--.l friend in distress.
uusircss-Evcrybody else's affairs.
csnrIty--Tcn cents for the poor, and
| ,tns,v cents salary. expenses and COM.
,"is.Ion Tor collecting the dollar.
cremat!on-Circumvcnting the hope
o. consrefs-A trust" in public con-
l tracts. 49,. q,
apparent. ., . ~, ~.
| DIvo1ce-Modern interpretation Il OF
"WLom God hath Joined together let
I - " "
4 Eyalnple-A warning to others not TO
ao a certain thing, with an explanation
4 how Il Is DONE,
Fsmalc-The opposite OF, and gener-
,lly opposed 20 the male.
Frlend-The man who borrows your
money and forgets TO return It.
/ Fool-slways the other fellow.
i Guide-A person who leads you
4 astrly.
lIell-The sufferings OF the virtuous..
/ UeredI.y-The transm!gration OF the
results OF high living; also, a reason
4 given by physicians and Psychologists
4 when they cnnpot find any other rea-
1 ION, With a vlrtuous intermisslon It
/ becomes ""Atavlsm." al II
uonesty-Succcssf, dealing of any
/ kind, When unsuccessful 1t Is the oppo-
4 site.
,erngs OF people thousand miles
| away.
1ntant-A victim OF leredlty.
nnocence-Presumptlo OF guilt.
lntegrity-(obsolete.) q
Idlot-What Is the matter with you?
Jal!-A museum for mistakes for law.
KinG-Next to the ace in value; al
ways beats the queen, and sometimes
gets the deuce:
Llw-The will OF the people expressed
b. them in legislatures; set aside by
them in the courts; rldiculed by them
In jur!es. and violated by them at all
times. ~
Labor Agitator-A gentleman who
/ advises others not to work. ~! ',f "a
/ LEA synonym. for truth"
L!bel-A truthful biography. u
I Love-A disease cured By marriage.
Marrlage-A contract entered into
4 when every other inducement has fall
4 ed.
/ Morallty-A condition depending on
The state OF ones finances.
Monop0ly-W Whatever everybody wants
! and don't want anybody else to have.
| obstacle-A husband; sometimes
4 wife.
/ Pancake-The autocrat OF the break
/ fast table.
4 PatrIotism-Ambitlon for office.
4 Prepoaderance Of Evidence-The
i greater number OF lies on either side OF
A lawsuit.
Piano-A musical instrument seldom
| played that way.
4 Plety-A boiler state than that OF any:
other person.
POver;F-A crime punishable with
= starvation.
Poster-An Imitation. OF which the
4 original IS caricature. ..5-
4 PolitIcian-A patriot willing to serve
his country for a compensate
/ Plutocrat-A gentleman who has
leaned his money to farmers on mort
4 gage and then tries to get 1t back.
j Relig!on-Two hundred and fifty DIFF
!crent ways OF preventing anybody
from reaching heaven In any other
4 way.
] Rirht-whatever you do.
4 saloon-A crime on Sundays and
4 election days, but lawful at any. other
time. #
soclallst-A man who wants the gov
eminent to own everything, and then
have the management OF 1t himself.
4 Truth--A relic OF the Dark Ages;
/ now Obsolete.
4 Umpre--An arbitrator selected for
4 his lack OF judgment
1 Fote-A franchise which enables It's
owner TO select the wrong man for Of
i flee.
wal.z-A permissible public en-
brace. forbidden in private.
william ante-mortem arrangement
4 Tor post-mortem lawsuit.
1 Woman-orIgIa doubtful; probably
4 intended to be mothers. but large
number want 10 be fathers.
4 WroHG-WAatever everybody else
] does.
Here are some quotations.:
5; "hy Should the painting OF a COW by
Rosa Bonheur cost 5000. when the COW
Itself w0ald be dear at $50?
4 An excellent way TO determine wheth-
4 or he nude in art is ideal or immoral
u 10 measure the heart throbs while
looking at the selected object II the
pulse be normal the specimen Is ideal,
out II the temperature rise the paint
4 ils should be destroyed as violation
y OF the municipal law
Il taere Is considerable difference be-
81 tween practice and theory; practically,
no man can live without backbone;
Theoretically, there are many who do
NOT POSSESS any and get live. y
II IL Is impossible to imagine q more
confused condition OF things than &,
every one followed everybody else's
A advice. l'.t, \ "a
\ The man who has never succeeded In
4 anything is always ready TO offer his
advice how TO succeed.
Bisots are like those born blind; Il Is
impossible TO make them understand
4 that they do not see: A drunken man is