Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1898-01-06
THE WRONG SHOP.

There is certain building in Chi
oaso, in which the Office of justice OF
/ the peace is located on one side OF a
dark hallway and the headquarters
OF lottery company is located on the
other. OF course, the lottery business
is not putting itself very much in
evidence these days, and the gentle
manly agent is sometimes a trif1e wary
| OF the sucker he angles for.
Recently a pair CT footsteps palpi-
tated at the lottery agents threshold.
the door was pushed timidly ajar, and
a youth Of rural aspect, and evidently
OF a painfully retiring disposition,
WaVered into the office. He drew after
him by the hand buxom damsel, who
giggled effusively and spent most Of
her time tying uusubstantial little
knots in her bonnet-strings For
some time neither youth nor maid
could speak, but stood looking help
lessly at the gentlemanly agent.
G. a. (urbanely)-"What can 1 do
for you?'
Youth (deloing into silver dollars
and blushing desperately" guess
you know what we want
G. A. Severely, to make sure they
are not dummies" from police head
quarters Have you ever done this
thing before?"
She with a g9sp)-Oh, jedi"
He (gulping down his embarress-
ment)-"Nope; and we don't want no
one to hear about it till We tell 'em.
Can We fix it,"
G. A. rubbing his chin refectively)
Your folks don't believe in such ven
lures, then?"
He with grin)-"The ole man 'ud
trade his false teeth to know what
we're doin this mint! Peculiar case,
jedge.'
G. A. (thawing slightly)-"Never !
tried your luck before?''
Youth shakes his head
G. A.-"Of course, either of you may |
draw prize or a blank-you under
stand that
Youth and maid fidget nervously and
draw closer together.
&. A.-"You are sure that neither
Of you will regret it?''
He (resolutely, his arm wandering /
protectingly about the buxom waist)-
We didn't come here to be poked fun
at. We're in a hurry, so do the bust
ness fore some one comes i'm
G. A. convinced that everything is
Ill righD-Certainly One twentieth
II two fortieths?''
He (surprisedly)
G. Al see that you have two
silver dollars in your hand. Will you
lave one certificate or two?"
He-"It's proper to have two, amt
t? One for Sue an one for me?"
G. A. stamps the tickets and hands
hem to the youth who gives him the
money.
He Ga little uncertainty -'Is that all
here is to it?"
G.. A. That's ALL
He" Sho1ter'n I expected"
She (faint with rapture, dropping
nto youths arms) at last, Jed, I
we're married"
G. A. (aghast)-"Married!"
He (seTenely) "Been) keepin' comp
ny four years-her folks an mine
lead set in our gittin' hitched-but
we've fooled 'em, Come on! Well
etch the two-forty train, put back
er Hammond, an show dad our GER
ifcates fore shutdown. If this don't
mock spots off that yearlin' heifer of
lis, I'll eat hay"
They bolted out of the room and
own the hall.
G. A. fully recovering and rush
ng to the door)-"Hey, there! Come
ack!"
Youthful swain shakes his certificate V
as he descends the steps c
md wouldn't stop for policeman. /
he G. A, for prudential reasons, de-
lines to make q scene and returns to O
is office. T
G. A. Qoquitur, lighting a. cigar)-
Wanted the justice and simply struck y
he wrong lottery, that's all. l hope :,
hey'Il catch that two-forty train!"- -