davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Mason County journal. [volume] (Shelton, W.T.) 1886-1927, 1898-02-25
c1.O ~ UT vi uSSIo0N'
YOUR FORTUNE

Il your health Yourhapplness is your strength.
and yonr mind ind brain is always mt rest md en-
CUsHMAN'S MENTHOL INH ALER is the
greatest relief to mankind in ali head troubles
~ KES COLDS, SORE THROAT. CA.
II. That awful Odor OF Catarrh dis
appears by It's use- Wonderful In Hay Fever and
Astnma- - BUY ONLY CUoHIkANs0s
yes eent Get u q Drnggists sd fer Il. D
1als 80 eepts. Sead for Boak - IeitRc3. ftees
cCShNAS BRUQ CO., vINCRNYR1, IND, o. s.
The Mason County journal. [volume] (Shelton, W.T.) 1886-1927, 1898-02-25

FRANK G. DEcKEBAcH, Register.
The Mason County journal. [volume] (Shelton, W.T.) 1886-1927, 1898-02-25
UNITED STATES LAND OFFICE, }

FRANK G. DECKEBACH, Registe
Jan 7-Mch IL.
The Worthington advance., 1898-11-03
Fun-Loving Princesses.

The two elder daughters of the duke
of Saxe-Coburg are real mischief-lov-
ing girls, married and mothers though
they be, and it is absurd to expect them
to walk a crack simply because they
are so unlucky as to be royalties. The
grand duchess of Hesse is unlike her
giddy sister, the crown princess of
Roumania, inasmuch as she lacks the
happy power to take joke or the wit
to make one, but otherwise she is
bright young thing, whose husband is
very much of an unlinked cub. But the
Edinburgh girls,' as they were called
till their marriage, suffer the penalty
of occupying conspicuous positions,
and every act is scrutinized by the
none too wise or friendly eyes of,their
respective households. It is very droll,
just the same. to hear of the grand
duchess having been ''kodaked'' by her
sister as she was emerging from mud
bath at Schwalbach. and easy to i'm
agine the rage of a mud-enveloped
Venus when the madcap princess
added to the insult by sending prints
of her to relatives and friends all over
Europe. Of course there has been the
dickens to pay in that family circle
ever since. But girls will be girls, no
matter what their station. Boston
Herald.
The Worthington advance., 1898-11-03

tried to increase my speed. but my feet
felt heavy and my limbs felt weak.
Just then saw only a little way be-.
fore me swampy place, with clumps of
bushes, and my hopes revived. IF l
could reach that might elude my pur-
suers. redoubled my efforts. it was
race for life with only one chance in
thousand in my favor. but took that
chance. My pursuers were not more
than four rods behind me, yelling like
demons, and as leaped across ditch
at the edge of the swamp they all fired
at me, and / heard the bullets whiz.
whiz. ping past me. but in their haste
they had missed me. The swamp
proved to be soft and miry, and it was
with difficulty that reached clump
of bushes where was obliged TO stop,
feeling that could do no more, and so
I faced my enemies just as they leaped
across the ditch. felt a little relief as
I thought that their further progress
would be slow and difficult, and so it
proved to be. for they struck very soft
spot and instantly sank to their knees.
! watched their struggles with good
deal of interest. They were desperate
to sink them deeper.
It was awful to see them sinking
inch by inch into that dismal mire,
and yet l must frankly confess that
the situation appeared to me rather
amusing than otherwise. They con-
tinued to struggle and sink till soon
the tall soldier with the long gun was
left alone. and he had sunk to his arm
pits. distinctly remember that I
could not refrain from tantalizing my
tall friend, cruel as it now seems. +
said to him: ':Come here, Johnnie, and
will help you out" he soon sank ou:
of sight. and now saw my way clear
to return to solid ground. or rather
to make the attempt to do so.
1 must, of course, shun the place
which had proved too treacherous for
my unfortunate pursuers, or I might
meet the same dreadful fate.
So, choosing my way little to the
right, started and, stepping as light
ly and quickly as possible, hoped to
reach solid footing in safety, but, to
my utter dismay, when I had made
about half the distance, found that
every step sank little deeper in the
dreadful mire. I dared not proceed, so
I turned about and tried to retrace my
steps, but the act of turning around
was fatal to my purpose. l was al
ready sunken to my hips in the mud,
which had all the tenacity Of tar.
Can the reader imagine my feelings
when ! saw that my case was hopeless? :?
Seeing what the end must be, and
realizing how near and how sad it
was to be, what did l think Of?
Everything. Wife, children, friends.
What would they think had become Of
The Worthington advance., 1898-11-03
fbf sI9e!RYs : !! ! 1hllISS
y B 81 "a =
THANK GOD FOR PEACE.

Glorious the war. but glorious more the
peace; .aE
Thank God the carnage and the cost may
cease; -~..~-- "
Come back. .ye smoked and grimy ships Of
Be the White Squadron. peaceful as before.
Come back. We boys in blue. to home and
trade:
Take up the tasks that ye aside have laid:
Enjoy the peace which We yourselves have
made.
A noble peace that crushes not the foe.
But In fair justice bids the Spaniard go,
And leave the lands he found but failed to
bless, -
That we may seek to life them from dis
tress.
Old Spain. God pity thee. and make thee
free!
Fair Cuba, past may all thy troubles be!
Enter our peace. We Islands Of the sea!
This blessed peace we hail. because we
The curse Of war. To-day there lieth low
And weak with fever many soldier lad.
And mothers hearts for distant graves are
sad.
Let who will strut with empty martial
pride,
And quarrel. spoils Of victory to divide.
In peaceful strength America abide!
Meier draw thy sheathed sword except for
right;
Teach men to reason better Is than fight;
With laws arbitrament make conflicts
cease;
America, lead thou the world to peace!
Bring thus the day, prophetic seen of yore,
Nation 'gainst nation shall lift sword no
more,
Nor shall the peoples Of the earth learn
war.
II. G. Soares, in Chicago Standard.
The Worthington advance., 1898-11-03
A LITTLE NONSENSE

"Isn't it difficult, Mrs. Jones, to get
along with girl that uses such bro
Ken English ?'' .'Oh, don't mind that
so much. It's her broken china that
sets me wild. Detroit Free Press.
"I've. cured my husbands insomnia 2
SLOW did you do it?'' pretended I
was i'll, and the doctor left medicine
which Henry was to give me every
half hour all night long," Vanity
Fair. +.' j.,
Gray.-Arna-"Just the other day
she told me that nothing could induce
her to marry a man with red hair"
Aline-"Oh, I guess she realized that
It wouldn't be red long if he married
ker."-N. Y. Journal.
Continuous.-"Now that you have
lost your job as surgeon of the regi-
ment, what do you expect to do?" "Oh,
I'm all right. I've opened up a little
office just around the corner from q
1ootball-playing college, .'-Cleveland
Plain Dealer. <."- y
what did you find to be the dark
side of army life o. asked one of the
neighbors who had dropped in. IN.
inside" replied the gaunt soldier just
back from the war. And he attacked
another slice of cold ham.-Chicago
Tribune.
Il hyahs you is very SCUM sleep.
er," said Miss Miami Brown. "'Deed I
is," replied Mr.. Erastus Pinkley.
"Someti1nes de onlies' way nanny
kin make me git out o. bed in hurry
is to STAN benin de door an cluck
like a Observation-Disclosures Star.
The salesman was showing Willie the
new styles of golf stockings, and said:
You have just the legs to display this
pattern" 'Yes?" murmured Willie,
with complacent smile. "They are
long and the same size all the way
up,' continued the clerk, and the
smile faded away.-Spokane Review.
The Worthington advance., 1898-11-03
"A StrateElSt.

They both lived out in the suburbs
where the air of the plains and from
the mountains fans the flames of love.
The date had been fixed for a buggy
ride and for days and days and days
the young man had anticipated the
trip. Just as the robe had been prop
erly arranged to keep the dust from
interfering with their best clothes
they started-but she told him to stop!
"What is it, ~dearest?"
"Won't you call the dog?''
''And what do we want dog for?"
II hate to tell you, Morrison"
"ConfiGe in me, dearest. Should our
enemies burn me at the stake to extort
the secret, would not violate your
confidence."
"Then can tell you. If Towser 1ol-
lows us he will not be at home when
we return to bark and wake the old
folks up, and in that way they will
never know how late it is when we
get back."-Denver Times.
The Worthington advance., 1898-11-03

me. My body would never be found.
Would my wife get my life insurance? :?
And I even wished my family had the
$50 bill which was concealed in the
toe of my stocking. I kept sinking,
sinking, sinking, till I was obliged to
turn my face skyward to get one little
breath. The full moon shone brightly
as sunk little deeper and the MUIR
derous semi-1iquid closed over me.
I had inhaled all the air that could,
and l resolved to live as long on that
supply as possible, which, of course,
could not be long.
Oh, how we mortals cling to life.
1t seemed to me just then few Sec
would be of more value than life
time had ever appeared to be before.
I began to wonder if I were already
dead, and still retained my conscious
ness. While trying to solve this prob
lem queer thing happened. felt,
somehow, that my feet we're free. and
as I moved them about I. began to
slip downward, ana soon was 1al!lng
and wondering where I was falling to.
I thought that l must be falling
through the dark valley which sepa-
rates the two worlds. saw no angel
forms; I heard no music swelling. All
was dark and drear, but I was still
falling more and more swiftly, could
endure it no longer, and l broke the
e;1opoo ~ that fao rfrl oavorn with =
loud cry of ''Where-am-I?"
My friend Page shook me and said:
"What is the matter? You are all
right in our box of hay" And
awOke.
The Worthington advance., 1898-11-03
A Better Price.

A clergyman was very much vexed
by one of his congregation. Az
old man used to go to sleep during
the sermon. The clergyman offered
the old mans grandson penny if no
would keep his grandsire awake. This
went on all right for month. One
Sunday the old man went to sleep as
usual. The clergyman asked the boy
why he did not keep his grandfather.
awake. The boy answered.: "You Of
fered me a penny to keep him awake,
but grandfather gives me twopence
not to disturb him. Spare Moments.
The Worthington advance., 1898-11-03

A Little and Herewith Content.
do not care for vast estates
Nor millions at command;
One million is enough for me,
And that in cash on hand.
IN. Y. Truth.
The Worthington advance., 1898-11-03
Not the Thinr Now

Il want your daughter" he wrote to
the old gentleman.
"Come and get her" was the old gen.
tleman's reply.
''Oh, dear, no." answered the suitor.
That's not at all the correct thing
now. Let her come and get me-"
Then they knew that he was really
man with a title and not an imposter.
Chicago Post.
The Worthington advance., 1898-11-03
Two Happy ExDeriences.

'"1don' know of anything that caused
me so much real happiness as my SOL
dier experience" said the optimistic
young man.
''But thought"
"Oh, we had our troubles. But when
ever think of how glad was togo and
how glad I was to get home again, I
can't help being a little bit apprecia-
tive. e."-Washington Star.
The Worthington advance., 1898-11-03
a sucwestton.,

A bounty on the fierce wolf head
The states should all restore;
Then maybe people won't object
To have him at their door.
IN. Y. Evening journal. :.
The Worthington advance., 1898-11-03
A.lverted It.

Prospect They say if it hadn't been
for his poor wife Tankton would have
filed drunkard's grave.
Parke Yes, she had him cremated.
Brooklyn Life. @
The Worthington advance., 1898-11-03
TALL sTEEPLE CLIMBING.
Ihe dangerous Undertaking Has
Come to Be a Patriotic Craze
in Vienna.

An extraordinary craze has seized
certain class of Viennese patriots. Since
the Tyrolese Pircher more than ten
years ago assembled st. Stephens steeple
to fix black and yellow flag at the top,
the feat has been repeated both there
and at the Votivc church. Matters,
however, reached their climax recently,
when no fewer than five such attempts
were made in honor of the emperor's
jubile birthday. About nine a. m. a
man heavily laden came to the St.
Stephens tower with two boys carry
ing ladder. With the help of this he
mounted to the roof of the vestry, when
the boys and ladder disappeared. He
then took his boots off and put them in
bag on his back. He carried, more
over, two large fagstaffs with the flags
rolled round them and q laurel wreath
tied on his back. With all these imped-
iments he climbed the outside of the
belfry, and reached the gallery of the
fireman's watchroom. Unfortunately
for his plan he had been noticed, and
the police were quickly informed. The
firemen on the tower were instructed
by telegraph to stop him, and when he
reached the gallery hands were
stretched out to catch him. He was
taken down the stairs and given up to
the police. The crowd made him the
hero of the moment, and applauded him,
and wished to know his name.
At the same time the two Gothic tow
ers of the Votivc church were being well
watched, an anonymous letter having
informed the police that the rope
dancer, Prybil, who brought down the
last flag placed on the tower by an
unknown hand, intended burning fire.
works on the eve of the emperor's birth
day on rope slung from the top of
the towers. At II two men with ropes
and bags approached. The police
stopped them and declared that
the neck-breaking experiment could
not be allowed. The men were
the rope dancer and his brother, who
loudly protested. About the same hour
a young woman, tall and strong, with
a flagstaff twice as tall as herself, was
found climbing up the side of the
church. When she was questioned she
answered that she merely meant to
climb to the roof and fasten the flag
between the two belfries so that every
body could see it. She expected that
if the emperor was told that woman
had put it there he would want to see
her, and he would then be anxious to
grant her wish. This was to get her
grandfather admitted as one of the 12
old men at the next annual feet-wash-
ing at the Burg palace the Thursday
before Easter. While the police were
discussing these matters with the ad-
venturous parties, the fifth climber
quietly approached the other side of the
church. which was unguarded, and with
black and yellow flag bearing the
imperial eagles climbed the eastern
tower to within so feet of the top, fixed
his flag, and quietly came down again.
But he had been noticed by someone.
He was stopped when he came down
and made to~report himself at a neigh
boring police station.-London News.
The Worthington advance., 1898-11-03
A Trait.

Human nature is inherently pessi-
nlistic," remarked the man who as
sumes great wisdom.
"There isn't any proof Of that asser-
tion."
"Yes, there is. Nobody ever stops
to talk about the weat ther except when
it's disagreed bic. ."-Washington Star.
The Worthington advance., 1898-11-03
When q Man LOOka Sad

If you should meet man wearing a long
pain wrinkled, thoughtful face NOWADAYS Do
not jump at the conclusion that there has
been death in his family. He NAV have
staked Klondiker few months ago.-Den-
yer Post
The Worthington advance., 1898-11-03
Very Much Interested.

"Miss Flossie, have you been inter-
ested in the warp ".
eyes, indeed. I was just telling Mr..
Noodleboodle that thought it was the
cutest little scrap on record."-N. Y.
TRUTH. ..'..
The Worthington advance., 1898-11-03
Two Jiews.

When all our efforts pass for naught,
When things do not go as they ought,
Or we've not found that which we sought,
We marvel at the dull worlds imbecility;
But when we have achieved success,
And all our friends their praise express.
W, certainly cannot do less
Than pride ourselves upon our own
ability.
The Worthington advance., 1898-11-03
So Sarcastic.

Willie-I once knew girl who near
ly died from ice cream poisoning.
Nellie-The very idea! Iwould never
Lave dreamed of such thing happen
ing to girl of your acquaintance.-In-
dianapolis Journal.
The Worthington advance., 1898-11-03
shan ". Keep the Philippiness

shall We Keep the Philiprinesy
Public opinion Is divided as to the wisdom
are found on both sides Of the question.
Public opinion, however, is all one way in
regard to the wisdom Of everybody keeping
their health. For this purpose Hostetters
Stomach Bitters is widely used. This medi-
cine is both preventive and cure for malarial
fevers, stomach disorders, torpid liver and
impure blood. It is agreeable to weak stom-
achs and soothing to the nerves.
The Worthington advance., 1898-11-03
The ONLY One.

what do you call that eminence p
asked the tourist. n,
We don't call it nothing" answered
Pieface Johnson. That there, guess,
Is the only bluff in this country that
amt been called. Cincinnati En-
quirer. 81
The Worthington advance., 1898-11-03
More ways Than One
lght in wheat?

Dyer-Bullion lost cool million yes
terday. .... Il.
Duell-Got caught in wheat?
Dyer-No; his daughter married {
count.-Puck. @ @ ,.s-.,.s..
The Worthington advance., 1898-11-03
Confused.

You went fishing with Miss Keedick yes
Eyes"
"Catch anything?'
"Well, we came back engaged, but didn't
know whether caught her OF she caught
me."-nlustrated American.
The Worthington advance., 1898-11-03
why He Did 1t.

As young Hankinson looked furtivelv At
the girl in the pale blue dress talking in an
animated manner to young Spoonamore in
lip. f'''-~ - - :, -
But>it was an accident.
de was trying to bite his mustache, and it
wasn't long enough.-Chicago Tribune.
The Worthington advance., 1898-11-03
Contented.

Almost any girl will tell you,
II the queStion's put to her.
That the man who is spooniest
Is the least inclined to stir.
-phtla6slphia Bulletin.
The Worthington advance., 1898-11-03
Worth CONSIDERING.

She--Humph! What has any member of
your family ever done to make your name
go ringing down the corridors of time?
dren, mostly boys.-Cleveland Leader.
The Worthington advance., 1898-11-03
A victim Of Circumstances.

The small boy was looking very mo-
rose. 5 a +&s s.s''.- ssts"
Whats the matter?" inquired his
companion. " n:
We'll, to tell the plain truth, I guess
I'm jealous. It's just my luck. I'm rot
old enough to go to war nor young
enough to be the baby, and so far as
any chance of being the pride and pet
OF the household is concerned, I'm
clear out of t."-Washington Star.
The Worthington advance., 1898-11-03

Everyone wondered why Prof Dau-
Der wore such long pointed beard,
but could not imagine how he OBJ
tanned such satisfactory results.-N.
Y. Ledger.
The Worthington advance., 1898-11-03
"How old are you then, miss?"
"Twenty-three."
"And your younger sisterT'
"She's :6."-Fliegende Blaetter.
At the TheateP.

Her hat was large-but, glorious truth,
Revenge was perched upon the chair
In front. where sat a college youth
With football head of hair.
-Chicag. Daily News.
The Worthington advance., 1898-11-03
He wanted Too MUCH,

Patient.Well, doctor, do you think it's
appendicitis? '---''-' - = .''
Eminent Surgeon-I never think, nv
friend; always know.
Yes, know you always know after the
operation, but can't you break over the rule
and work up little doubt now?"- Chicago
Evening News.
The Worthington advance., 1898-11-03

Reyenre ID sweet.

"Ah!" sighed thefaded beauty, gaz-
Ing cynically ii the glass, would I
were a. soldier braYe!' %s
Why 2" queried her maid, in some
alarm. Whatever put such an idea
into your head ?"
Because then, instead of time mark
ing me, I could mark time."-N. Y.
Journal. 9
The Worthington advance., 1898-11-03
One of Them.

''Yes, Miss Biddleton is one of our most
celebrated war heroines."
Indeed! What did she do, go to the front
as Red Cross nurse?''
"No; she got up an endless chain scheme
for the purpose of providing the soldiers
with ginger snaps" Chicago Evening News
The Worthington advance., 1898-11-03
A Correction.

birds now build nests in cannons
mouths"
Peace-lauding poets sing;
The guns are STILL but, BOBBY bards,
Birds do not nest till spring.
Chicago Record
The Worthington advance., 1898-11-03
How 1t Began.

Mrs. Dixon-Your husband paid ms
such pretty compliment yesterday.
Mrs. Hixon-Indeedl What did ha
say?
Mrs. D:xon--Why, he said that I
looked younger and handsomer than
ever. IL. ~ : ~: .ss.' 4E.43
Mrs. Hixon-Oh, I'm not much sur4
prised at his saying that. The doctor
told him the other day that he was
threatened with softening of the brain,
Daily News. r.. b.
The Worthington advance., 1898-11-03
The Value of ExDerience,

with what gracefully sweeping motion
she handles a fan" Eyes; she used to keep
the flies off the table in her fathers Omaha
lunchroom." m."-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Worthington advance., 1898-11-03
The Catchall,

II trusted you with my heart" said
she, with bitter sobs, ''and what have
you done with it?''
His laugh for harshness could have
given a crosscut saw the deckhead.
"Have you looked in the top drawer
of the bureau?" he asked.-Cincinnat
Enquirer
The Worthington advance., 1898-11-03
At the Summer Re.or+

stuck up? ~
Second Mosquito he's got noble blood
IN him; just bit a count.-N. Y. Journal.
The Worthington advance., 1898-11-03
A Deduction.

Browne-Smith's wife is an awful
virago. Why doesn't she keep her
tongue between her teeth OCCASION
ally?
Towne--I suppose she's afraid of be-
ing arrested for carrying concealed
weapons.-N. Y. Journal.
The Worthington advance., 1898-11-03

Mrs. Styles, Have you heard of any fall
openings YETI" MIR. Styles-ssWelI. yes:
there's Vesuvius.' .''-Yonkers Statesman.
The Worthington advance., 1898-11-03
Woman, Lovely Woman

:, ,MattIe.That idiotic young Softleigh had
Helen-Did he, really! I always thought
ne was little off in the upper story, but
had no idea he was as bad as that.-Chicaqo
Evening News.
The Worthington advance., 1898-11-03
Swift.

"The fight was all over in a minute" said
the witness. "Why, it was all done as quick
as {! ole married man kissin' his wife good
by.''-Indianapolis Journal.
The Worthington advance., 1898-11-03
DO Ysu want to Live

In fine, mild and healthy climate, where
cyclones and blizzards are unknown: where
good rich lands can be bought at low pricesI
near cheap transportation and with educa.
cational and industrial advantagess Home
"Big Route" and the Chesapeake and Ohio
Railway. Write for descriptive book Of
Virginia, list Of farms for sale, excursion
rates, dates, time-cards, &c. j. C. Tucker.
G. N. L., 234 Clark St., Chicago, Ills.
The Worthington advance., 1898-11-03
Two Great Periods.

He-There are two periods in mans
life when he never understands wom-
an.
Indeed, and when are they?"
"Before he is married and after.
wards .'-Tit-Bits.-
The Worthington advance., 1898-11-03

Trip-"Between beautiful woman and
rlch r woman, 411 which would you prefer?"
Grlp-Ihe second first. Flown Topics.
The Worthington advance., 1898-11-03
Enigma.

where are you going, my pretty maid?"
II cannot tell you, kind SIR" she cried,
For you must know that this pretty maid
Was just beginning to learn to ride.
Town Topics
The Worthington advance., 1898-11-03

did he tell his love by word of mouth ?"
"Well, not exactly by word. flown Topics.
The Worthington advance., 1898-11-03

Irate Old Gentleman-Here, I say,
your beast of dog has bitten a piece
out of my leg!
Dogs Owner-O, bother! And !
wanted tc bring him up vegetarian
Punch.
The Worthington advance., 1898-11-03

1t Didn't Surprise the Jan1tor.
Janitor-You'Q have to stop practic-
ing on that corrective can't stand it,
Cornetist-I'm sorry that music has
no charms for you. You know, Orpheus
moved inanimate objects by his mu-
sic.
Janitor-Is that his cornet you've
got?-Up to Date.
The Worthington advance., 1898-11-03
A Moaern nimcuItv.

IT'S useless to labor with patience and tact,
For surprises are certain to burst.
What hampers original thoughts is the fact
That the old thinkers thought of them
first. 49,. ...
-Washington Star.
The Worthington advance., 1898-11-03
The Dream of Life,

The Dream of Life.
The worlds stage, and all
The people are but actors, so they say;
And each is prone to think the thing would
fall
Chicago Daily News
The Worthington advance., 1898-11-03

Physician-You are living too high
Patient-That's so; Eve got to get q
cheaper doctor.-N. Y. Vim.
The Worthington advance., 1898-11-03
"Did he leave his wife much p
Every night.-rBoston Herald.

'Hargreaves says he never goes in
society
NO. He tried, but he didn't co."
Cincinnati Enquirer. s.{