Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1898-12-14
STALE STUFF IN NEW DRESS.


There are people In the world capable
OF doing almost anything and every
thing. There are times. however when
persons find Themselves unable to d"
something which ut another time they
can perform with the greatest case
For instance. man suffering with an
attack Of indigestion was never known
to laugh at u joke, no matter h1"
funny. Remove the cause uf MS appai o.
emit lack OF humur and the chances Att
he viii nearly k'l himself lauHhint
over "A Joke no. ALI 50 funny e. the
other fellow NJ the one related Wheh
his diveativc organs were out ~ gear.
one morning last week during the
windy cold spell. u number 81 pg3pie
were seated In ear coming rom foI-
est Dale. There was stove IN the cav!
but no IRE The mems WHISPERS ana
mugtnohcs wCr frozen and the women n
faces were binnchcd and cold, The APP
penrancc ~ the crowd would nave lohe
credit 10 u qunker'a meetInF, ~ solemn
WAS the look on their c0untcnhnccs' Nv
Of sudden little chap 'rcd "ul.
"oh. mamma look Mt the dust conins 'u,
Of my mouth tmcnulng the steam nl
,,ufsel. Would ypu believe II, there
wasnt n single member of the party
that cracked a smile Now, hnd ihnt
child got on such bit of witucism
ON DAY when things were hit warm
or tho chances are everybody wluln
have 'jcas iancd" ~ \ was the re-
mark was lost un the cold nlr and goes
90 prove she saying Of lnurai There
Is a time for an thlnga.
Speaking Of the nrht that f. belnr
wagcd against Congfcsainhu-'lett
Roberts. man was overheard O. ~.
mark On the street the other day ~
aoema 10 mo that Instead ~ making a
war on Roberts they ought % make
Warren Foster
A young man. until recently resi-
den! " Salt Lake tnc other Jay
married nm ogden wieOw. There's moth
ing remarkable about that NJ course.
hut there II something remarkable IN
IN. fact that tho aforesaid younT man
was poor and h1 bride. besides bolng
fair. lat and forty was quite wealthy
He now SAYS % wasn't her face that
attracted him. hut that II was her hg-
ufc-uolpoQ.
"Do YOU like 20 be- shaved close. Hlr?'
nsked a knutrfurd hotel barber ~ u
travelling man who was IN the act N
being shaved. NO, shave me ~ Tar on
~ you can. don't like the smell of
onions" was the reply
y Il not generally kr1wn. bui q II a
fan. nfveriheicu, The pole. 1ficn ar
fcf men end are afterwards 90 4 ~
20 know WHIST cmrT e. book agilIa,
them. Nlgmnry. nrXt 20 drunk nf7sH
O. ihe mnu, comunf 0fienfr % IN th'
police caui. Afitr q ntsn has nfsu
on the force fnr q ycnr or tW1 ~ Dc.
comes ne familiar wfh The flcff "
cfiminilH as ne avcfnR chlIi docs Wish !
S. alphabet. and frfguerily fc'l1wl !
with unEhvnry regulations. seen uut ON /
the firccia fir az nigh. are ran IN |
on gcncfui principles. bnuhilrff many |
a house. In cuurd qufncr. has thus BEEN |
from being bufgilrz q. Some |
dime ago Jim Williams. whl. 20 III 49, |
rrst ~ many. o. no longer n rlilrem1n. /
became weary ~ The sections - q follow |
on hi beat, aad lin nldH up ~ mlri /
Tia. II h. didn't Keen On he airs'ia h. /
fnk him IN % the city hili. The /
man. q appfarr. had M les, but thu. I
makes iltfir or - difference % ths /
average "c0p" Experience has taught /
among qhs "louFheg ~ thr t1ngha"
lin paw The cripple crawl on hia hands .
up the street ana stand M fror. ~ /
several hriidinrf, Us n taking dlwi l
tn fun dim urInn7, 10. who knows.
ssld Jim 90 hlmelli. hut What sails foi- |
how h-ionrf 90 a sang ~ Thieves who !
have Tcni him oui for the purpose uf
finding on; how the land iiri. before
hfs,klrg Into a place. t'ii run him In.
anyhow" he Wulkcd up go ihs man
without any lesu. ard after quesslonlug
him for wsiac. said. Come on wih
me"
AZ the cry hail Jim vas In the ac.
81 searching his Moan. when Desk Ser
rsoni Smith Cuquirri what charge |
should he book the cripple ong
"Nafurcy." raid Jim.
doubt.
"of course" replied Jim. cant you
pc tp1ln,lnF % whom the mans pIdi, !
Nsrcmlllsa fhould boz. he's without the /
visible means ~ support. and don't that /
constitute vnguncyf'
The charge stuck and ,ho man with. |
out ne NIfih'r means % support" 80. I
rineiy days ia the bug house"
Tho Mutual Improvement Asforlatian |
was IN session and they had iuai an. |
pointed committee t. canvass tn |
blocks for enrolment n.aHno-is. The |
designation NJ the committee was next |
In order-What should they be riiirty !
- N'N.HH'HHNA HNHN % ANNA|H r NNNNNM .
one more ready han the rest youtured /
a suggestion. u WAS block heads" Tho |
suggestion was tabled.
yuurg woman Just married was
wondering what TO cook Tor supper aud |
hnally decided on rice as a good dish fur |
= change. She sent over 10 the grocfra |
Tor quariers wnTh and IN ~ arrival !
poured q an Into hor cooking ulensll |
10 boil. fTsiiy soon it began 10 expand |
ana boil nver ana continued IN this way !
linill all available vessels were nlled |
with u. John came home go supper
ana ate 90 his hearts content but 90 mo- !
avail, the supply apparently ala not |
diminish IN the least. Needless 90 say
NE happy pair had rice for week af- !
Yer, ANA when the young wife visited
mat store month later she told the
clerk IN AL nnberneTa that she must
have made a mistake. why that 81
ceniE worth Of rice 1 hough, of yuu
several weeks agl WIS altogether tob
much TOT n meal John and have