Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1898-11-04
WHAT DOOLEY SAYS.
as to the Personnel Of the Present United
States Army.


States Army.
well, sir" said Mr.. DoOley. 81 didn't
vote FIR Mack, but I'm with him new.
1 had me doubts whether he was tn
gr-reatest military JANUS iv tn cinch-
ry, but they'se no question about it.
We whit into this war with ould Spain
with about tn most fash'nablc army
that liver creased its pants Twas a
daily hint firm Paris to tn crool foe.
Other gin'rals iv tn r-rOugh-hGcse
kind. like Napoleon Bonypart. tn i'm
proa iv tn Frinch, Gip'ral Ulis S.
Grant. an Cousin George Dooley. hired
coarse. rude men that w1dden't know
tn difference between goluf an crokay.
an had their pants tucked in thier
boots an chewed tobacco be tn pound.
Thank hivin Mckinley knows be.ther
thin TO sind tn likes iv thin abroad 20
shock our frinds be dumpin their cof-
fee into thimsilves firm a saucer.
"Th' dure bell rings an a futman in
liv'ry says I'm Master Willie Doosel-
bery's man an he's come to be ex-
amined FIR tn ARMY says he. Admit
him. says Mckinley, an Master Willie
enters. accompanied be his valley. his
NAH an pah an tn comfy iv tn gOluf
club. Willie says the President. we
ARE inthering upon n glOryous career.
an It's nic'ssary that We shud be thruly
examined so that yc can teach n
glories iv civilization to tn tyr-ranies
Nv Europe that is supported be ye-er
pah an mah.' he says. 'Twud he a
hn
they shud meet a Spanish gin'ral i'm
Mahdrid an have him say to thin: L
seen ye'er son Willie durin' tn war
wearin' stovepipc bat an tan shoes
Let us begin tn examination. he
says. ARE ye Il good goluf player?'
l am says Willie. Thin | appinJ we a
liftenant. What we needin' tn army is
good gOluf players he says. In our
former war he says we had tn mis-
fortune to have men in command that
didn't know tn difference between a
goluf an a beocycle. an what was tn
raysult? We fooz.ed our approach at
Bull R-run,' he says. ARE We a MINI
Der iv amy clubs?' he says. Four
says Willie. Thin make We a major
he says. Where dye get ye'er pants?'
he says. Firm England says Willie.
'Gloryous.' says Mckinley. make We a
colonel, he says. Let me thry We in
tactics he says. Suppose ye was con-
fronted be Spanish ARMY in tn
Afternoon, how wud we dhrefs?' he
says. I'd wear i stovepip hat. long
coat white vest an lavender pants
says Willie. An if tn attack was be
night?' he says. i put on me dhress
shoot an go out to meet Thin. saws
Willie. a Truro sojer.' says Mckinley.
Suppose tn sociable lasted all night?'
he says, I'd sound tn retreat at day
break an have me brave boys change
back, he says, to suitable apparl.' he
says. Mastery says Mckinley. 1 Will
sind ye'er name in as a brigadier-gin'-
RI" ne says. BE Thankful, an r'rch. >
he says. is brave an pathriotic.' he
says. We will jine III o.hc- .,~~s firm
tn club at Tampa he says. 'Ye shud
be careful iv ye'er equipment he says.
l hav almost iv'rything r-ready.' says
Willie. Me man attinded to thin de-
tails he says. But | fear l can't go to
tn front immejetly,' he says. Me
pink silk shirts hasn't arrived lac
says. Well says Mack, wait f'r Thin
he says. I'm anxious FIR to ind this hor-
bic war; he says, which has cost me
NANNY sleepy night, he SAYS, but
twud be crime FIR TO sind a sojer I'M