The Natchitoches enterprise., 1898-12-22
ONE MILITARY EVIL.
PRIVATE BARRY OlscoUR6=s ON Ti4s
ARMY MULE.

Says the GeatIe Animal Has WAYS That
Are vexatious ard Tricks That Are OBJ
uo=Ious, Provoking the Mild hammered
Soldier Who Has Him In Charge.
.CAHP THoMAs.--What a CONTRARY
burrud an arrumy mulais! Oh taut ut
wuz Just stories about thin till Oh kim
Until the arrumy, but be jabers ut's the
truth. There wuz yistherlay, whin our
battalion wuz at the range an rife prac-
tice, an me shuttin near fifty-foive per
cint-but lave thot 60 We wuz at the
range, an wan morhin comes all ordher-
ly from the colonel aythe regiment say
in be sint his ooraplimints til Major
Stark, an he would BE- sSsS that day to
inusther us in. 80
We get musthered by the commander
av the rigimint every month fur the
paymasther to swear by. Ut's bad luck
for a mon to miss thot mustler, an be-
fore he can git mustered ho must sign
the pay roll. In the arrumy he signs a
receipt for his pay week before he
gifts ut-Gut Fave thot 60
We had not more than finished sign
in tho pay rolls an the furrust sargints
wuz still swearin as they always have
to do under the articles av war Hhin
they lave that wurruk an han, when
from the quarthermasther's departnint
comes the wurrust noise iver the airs
av min heared. 'Twuz an arrumy mule
kickin. He rairod all backed an backed
ag'in, him pullin his hid aft in his
desprit efforts to git loose.
"Corpril av the Gyard No. Noine,
mule en- throublep' shouts out the sin
try in the vicinity, an wild that the
alarum goes round to the gyard tint, an
away gees the ccrpril av the gyard.
"Corpril, darlint, an how can Oi
sleep All thot divil ay 4 mule maxim
such row." says the poor sintry.
"Slape as you always do, bad scran
til you, retoorts the corpril, "ay it
wuzn't Daylight an you ixpectin the
mess call livery mint wild the relief to
lave you go ate, But uts wastin tonne
Oh am an the wrong wan Lave US let
him loose"
Be thot tonne there wuz full platoon
an the groun, all av thin givin advice.
Poor craturr' says Lynch, privit
in A, who is the divils own ay ivor
there wuz wan. Poor craturp' says
he, "an ut mad be is because the Fur
rust sargint would not let him sign the
pay rools. -
maybe he has jus remimbered he
lift somethin in his kit back in the riSi,
mint an wants TO hurry back for ut, "
says McFaddin, the thrump piter.
"An little you know aboat ut. pipes
in Private Jones av B. He had jus
made 100 per oint AT The targets. cut
Is his turin To SAoot, az sEelL be lssacEs.
ut. t>>s
"He knows Liftinint Gunlack is absint
an he wants to answtherthe 'adjrtant's
call hissilf, put in Private Overstreot.
"Ut's wondher he w12 not coort mar
tailed for ut."
Lave him be. You talk like Wexford
min, the whole lot av you" shouted the
wagner, him tarin mad bechuxt the |
mule an Cne min.
Be this tonne the actin quarthermas-
ther kim up, Liftinint Sutton, wild
reef in his throusers an his campaign
hat. "What is the motther?" be axed. |
'He mistuk the adjutant's call for
the mess call, liftinint," says Lynch,
An he near fell dead win the A. @. NJ
burst out latin.
ALLOW me to handle him." suggist
I'd a wee bit av thing from D., his
name Oh haven't about me, for the
syard report is seldom trusted to pri-
TitS, although ut is we'll known we are
he flower av the arrumy.
- How me to handle you mesilf,"
ays the wagner, WiI his timpcr stickin
,Gt av him like poor gossoon's shirt,
III wild thot he made a pass for the in.
erloper, hittin the mule be mistake
yid his fisbt an near fcllin him.
Steady" commands Liftinint Sut-
on, al then he ordered the thrumpiter
o sound tho water call.
AS Secretary Olney used to say, &C.
ordin to the majcr, thot closed the in
idint, for the mule quet an TUX to his
river like Scotchman till his toddy.
Oi moind the tonne whin Captain
nay the divil fly away wild me if thot
hrumpiter isn't soundin quarthers an
.our ahid av tonne. Och, but the an
oyancies in the arrumy is obnoxiousl
PRIV TIE BARRY.
St Louis Republin