The evening times., 1898-05-18

To lead our gallant boys;
| And weep thee not, my mother dear,
That should haste away;
l am my fathers son, and so
| l must unto the fray.
The Rape of the Nursery.
How it got out is another story. 1t did
| get out. and, strange to relate, 1t found
many believers. Teachers wondered why
| their schoolrooms were deserted; the ven
doris of rubber ice cream pondered o'er
their Runic economics, since no consum-
dren themselves thought 1t strange that
they should so suddenly have become OBJ
! jects Of delight; precious even to the ex-
| tent of hours of nervous nursing on this
| uneventful day.
| Disheveled mothers lodged along alley
ways frantically shrieking ."Jamesie, oh,
Jamesie;'' sweating policemen profanely
restored hour-lost urchins to the bosom
of the slipper, and nursery doors were
| barred like unto jaloused harems.
| How 1t got OUTPUT even newspaper
men had heard it. and their unshaven
| coincidence went out to the mothers OF
| the country. So came 1t that they went
| forth to protect the infant industry and
the Industrious infant from the cruel am
billions OF an ADMINISTRATOR
1t was only rumor-yet in the light
of previous appointments 1t smacked OF
truth. Ii merely said that Master Car
ret A. Hobart had been appointst capta n
OF volunteers by President Mckinley;
also that Master Sewell son OF Senator
Sewell of New Jersey had likewise been
dragged from his condensed milk and
commanded to study comic opera Ia
FL Captain.
Bosh, But is 1t also bosh that the Man
haitian Elevated Road had been appointed
adjutant general? Is 1t bosh that the
American Steamship Line holds a COM
mission as general? Is 1t bosh that the
Astor Hotel has donned epaulets; or that
the Logan nursery resounds with the
manual Of arms? Then, horror of hor-
rors when the stock exchange and the
blue books had been exhausted. what
more probable than that Sons-in-arms Of
Fathers be shared into the net OF nepo-
tism. is1r
Therefore WHEN The Times: reporter
had heard the news he fell upon the neck
of the telephone and wept for the rising
generation. Verily.Sthis was recruiting
infantry in all the paregoricism OF An
glo-Saxon.
1t was fearsome shovelful of fourth
estate that rested upon the door mat of
the Hobart mansion while yet the news
tear-stained face with contempt. He had
evidently not heard the awful news.
'.Mawster 'Obart Isl 'aving is music les
son. and cawnto be disturbed"
Music, When his tender soul was in
peril, The scribe retreated to Lafayette
Square and groaued.
Again he returned. This time "Mawster
'Obart is 'aving is recreation and cawnt
be disturbed
This Is a matter almost of life and
DEATH tragically whispered the heart
rent reporter. II must see him at once"
The footman backed down the hallway,
switched himself of On a sidetrack and
disappeared.
Suddenly a door opened and 'Mawster
'Obart" smilingly approached. In one
hand he held baseball: in the other
not sword. not even rifie-nothing but
his fingers.
Mr.. Hobart" hoarsely gasped the
newspaper man, as he buttonholed the
golden-haired boy and led him to a cor
ner. you are shedding your blood for
your country"
The boy patted his baseball and smiled
mo, l amt
Have you refused to lead your patri-
otic countrymen into battle? Are YOU
about to deny your country your services
in its time of need?"
The boy edged away. 81 don't know
"AA''s sCt aAc Ink 10 pa
pa. Papa. Papa!" With this he ran in
TO the parlor.
Brac.ng up his "Avenge the Maine" flag.
the reporter followed and was confronted
by the bulk of the State of New Jersey.
What do You want, sir?'' uuoth the
State.
Your son has been appointed captain
of volunteers and wished to condole with
him and get record of his military ca
reer. Now when did he graduate from
West
Before the State could explode the re-
porter managed to explain matters and
was quietly informed that he had been
fooled. Oh the ingratitude of men. espe-
cfally that of Vice-Presidents!
The forlorn reporter was denied the on
portunity of falling upon the breast OF
Senator Sewell but was informed that
Master SeweH was member of the Ma
tional Guard of New Jersey. in addition
to being the son OF his father.
Through the efforts of The Times ,h.
warning was spread throughout the city
and ere the curfew tolled the Sons of
Fathers were safely tucked away from
the threatening dangers of appointment.
Let the Congress of Mothers hold a
special session and draft resolutions
against the appointment by the Presi-
dent of infants under the age of eigh,
years.
Until this takes place, keep an eye on
your children.