Republican news item. [volume] (Laport, Pa.) 1896-19??, 1898-12-08
A MISERABLE Wife.


is so miserable. L cannot carry it on
without hiring, and hiring eats up all
the profits
/ looked at the speaker admiringly.
He was about fifty years old, and as
robust as man of thirty. His whiskers
were neatly trimmed, showing a full
red cheek. He wore jaunty hat, and
natty cutaway coat, and below his
vest hung a single fob and heavy gold
seal. was proud of him. He was
such perfect specimen of New
York country gentleman that wanted
to imprint his picture on my memory.
$50 your wife is miserable?"
eyes. Kinder diooping with dry
cough and no ambition. She just
kinder drags around the house and
looks so peaked and scrawny it gives
me the blues. 1t does, I swan.
Naturally weakly, wasn't she?"
"She! Oh, no. When I married
her, she was the smartest girl on the
creek. She used to work for my
father, and the way she made the work
stand around took my eve. She wasa
poor girl, and her industry got her n
rich husband"
Here he took out gold watch,
looked at the time, put it back, and
adjusted the silk fob on the front of
his nicely fitting trousers.
$50 she did well, getting married
on account of her industry?"
''Why, of course. She was getting
only two dollars and fifty cents a week,
and she became mistress of farm. "
''Excuse me, how much are you
worth now-confdentially, you know?
I am a scientific man, and will Dever
use such facts to your injury with the
assessor"
''Well, prose ssor, I could crowd
fifty thousand p city hard.
"That is &c od. How long have you
been married?'
"Thirty years next Fourth of July.
We went down to Albany on little
teeter, and 1 proposed the match and
Jane was willing"
"How much do you suppose you
have made in these thirty years?"
''Hum-um-lemme see. 1 got the
Davis farm the first ten years, then I
run in debt for the Simmons place, got
war prices for my cheese and squared
up both places. Well, think have
cleared up thirtyt thousand dollars
since we spliced.
every good, indeed. And your
wife has been great help all this
timer"
Oh, you bet! She was rattler!
She took care of her baby, and the milk
from twenty cows. 1 tell you she
made the tin-ware flop! Why, we
have had four children, and she never
had hired girl over six months in
that time"
'Splendid, and you have cleared
thirty thousand in that time?"
eyes, easy"
"Now, how much has your wife
made?'
''She? Why, blame it, professor,
she is my wife,
81 know it. But what has she
made? You say she was poor when
you married her. Now, what has she
made?"
"Why, you beat all! Why, she is
my wife, and we own it all together.
"Do you? Then she can draw on
your bank account? Then she has a
horse and carriage when she wants
them? Then she has servant girl
when she wants one? Then she rides
out for her health, and she has a
watch and gold chain as you do? Is
that so?'
Professor, you must be crazy. No
body's wife is boss in that shape. Who
ever heard of such thing?"
''Now, look here. You say she did
we'll in marrying rich, and L cannot
see it. If she was getting two dollars
and fifty cents per week when you
married her, and had saved her wages,
she would have had now three thou
sand six hundred dollars. If she had
invested it, she would have had five
thousand dollars. Now you tell me
she is broken down, used up and
miserable, and looks SO badly, she
makes you sick, and she has no money,
no help, and will probably get nothing
but Scotch granite tombstone when
she dies"
Professor, if you was younger
man, I would lick you quicker'n a
spring lamb can jump a THISTLE
"What for? I am stating this case
fairly, am I not? Your wife is no
longer young. She is no longer hand
some. Her hands are as hard as
bookagent's cheek and she has stopped
over milk can until she has a hump
on her back like pedler."
''Shut up, will you?"
''She has raised four children. One
of them is at college. One is taking
music lessons in Boston. The other
two are teaching school. She is at
home alone, going around in tread
mill lite which will and in rosewood