The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1898-08-11

"Only cigarettes, dear
"That's Just what troubles me. Eve
been reading an article in one Of the
papers about smoking, which says Gig.
arettes are the most injurious form of
ALL
"Well, if you would like me to take a
pipe, don't mind
"Don't you, really? They're horribly
dirty. and bad for the curtains; but the
article said if man must smoke, a
pipe was the best thing. Only you
must remember one thing, darling
"What's that?"
allow many cigarettes do you smoke
day."
ooh, perhaps thirty"
"Well, dear, you must promise not
to smoke more than thirty pipes day.
You'll be quite safe thenv-Pick- Me-
Up.
Not long since an Austin lawyer was
appointed by the District Judge to ex-
anime candidate for admission to the
bar. The young man was rather def
cient in Blackstone and Greenleaf. 1t
looked very much as though he lacked
the requisite preparation.
"Do you know what fraud is in the
judicial sense of the word!" inquired
the examining attorney.
81 don't-I hardly think do" was
the stammering reply.
"Well, fraud exists when man takes
advantage of his superior knowledge
to injure an ignorant person.
$50, that's it, is it? Then if you take
advantage of your superior knowledge
of law to ask me questions L can't an
swer, owing to my ignorance, and, in
consequence thereby, 1 am refused a
licence, will be injured, and you will
be guilty of fraud. Won't you judge? ?"
The lawyer was very thoughtful for
a few moments, and then added, re-
fectively:
"My young friend, 1 perceive you
have great natural qualifications for the
bar, and | shall recommend that large,
engrossed and richly en-
graved license be granted you in spite
of your ignorance" Texas Siftings.
O4kO
\ widow once called upon an artist
and asked him to paint portrait of
her husband. "When can he Sit" in
CURED the artist. He can't sit at ALL"
said the widow, ''he's dead" ''Then
you will have to furnish me with his
said the artist. "He
never had his picture taken" said the
widow. Nevertheless the artist under
took the job, and when he had finished
the work he asked the widow to come
and see it.
ats a fine picture" said she, "and
you'll please send it to my home-but
how the old man has changed" -Bos-
ton Herald.
A salOonist innOcently reveals one of
the principal difficulties in the way of
enforcing laws against liquor dealers,
in trial before justice court, accord
ing to the Templar. On being sworn,
one of the attorneys in the case asked,
Mr., where is your place of bust
ness 90
"What for you ask such dings? You
drinks at my blaze more as hundred
times"
"That has nothing to do with the
case, Mr.. State to the jury where
your place of business is
''De shury! de shury. Oh, my SHIN
my. Every shentlemen on dis shury
has string of marks on my cellar door
shoost like rail fence"
The court then interceded in behalf
of the counsel, and in calm, dignified
manner requested the witness to state
the place of his business.
'Oh, excuse me, your honor, you
drink nit my blaze so many times. 1
drinks you know very we'll where 1
keeps mine blace."
O X %
Andrew Lang relates an anecdote of
Dean Stanley's amiable simplicity. The
dean was dining out, and was very late.
When he came his collar was unfasten-
ed, and the ends vibrated like little
white wings upon the head of cherub.
People could not look at him with
out curiosity during the dinner, and at
length, with due precautions, his host.
ess ventured to ask him if he knew
that his collar had broken adrift.
'Oh, yes" said the dean; "do you
'Not at all" said the lady.
s!Thop I 80