The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1898-03-06
Somebody's Uncle.
CTale of a Portrait In Two Parts)
PART L

(Iale OF a Portrait In Two PartS)
PART 1.
must confess TO a weakness for
sales" although 1 haven't. as far as I
can remember, ever yet made bargain:
Every time 1 go along the High street l
feel that 1 must have peep into the auc-
ton rooms.
went in one evening not long ago. Like
the juggins that 1 am. I began marking
the catalogue for things that took my
fancy.
1 came across a picture in one corner
to be correct, ii was an oil portrait, and
bore underneath the words "old Bill"
Mighty old. too" 1 thought, for the
face was a perfect network of wrinkles,
although the picture appeared 10 be rather
new. l looked at the nose little too
long, perhaps Anyhow, 1 got the IDEA
that il was the image OF my own. m
rather proud Of my own nose, by the way ;
it's the family" nose, I'm told, although
the family don't appear 70 have done any
thing great with IL as far as tan trace
l dimned my gaze TO blot out the Wrinkles
on the face, and 1 discovered that the
mouth was also my own. Good; 1t must
be an ancestor Of mine
1 felt a big thrill Of joy; an ancestor
was the very thing 1 wanted
z.
me; 1 didn't like the name odd Bill.
Ancestors who kept coal sheds or took in
washing are not worth running after; ana
il had one at all, 1 preferred one with
q decent vein Of blood. The very next
moment I felt like kicking myself. / rec
elected that this was the man that all
NV sisters had so wished TO get trace
of-Old Bill, of course. Why, my old dad
had mentioned him scores of times. They
were brothers. Uncle Bill-William in
ccnversation-yes yes. He was bit re-
cent for an ancestor, certainly; but l only
reeded to get the picture. 1 could DO
the rest. As soon as l could find out that
he was really worth knowing, 1 meant
to be very proud Of him.
was on the point Of coming away just
then. when a very dainty desk caught my
eye. On turning round again, l found
that a girl was looking hard at my
uncle.
As she happened TO be a very pretty
girl. with the daintiest chin imaginable,
/ didn't hurry away. On the contrary,
should think 1 spent quite few minutes
taking in the nice curves Of her Inquire.
She had the sweetest little mouth that
1 ever saw.
She looked sideways at my uncle for
to a frosty old lady. beside her. and her
words were so astounding as TO call me
to my senses.
Yes" she said, decisively. I'm sure
it's he. Dear old Uncle Bill!'
This was interesting.
Dear old Uncle Bill!' What did she
know about Uncle Bill? However, l VOW
ed on the instant that as long as 1 might
say Bill" as prettily as she did I'd never
say William again. But 1 was puz-
zled
Evidently the girl had a stray uncle
roaming about somewhere, and had pick
ed out my relative by mistake. Well, l
would travel down tomorrow and buy the
picture. and if she liked to come and look
a it in my sitting-room she might do so
with pleasure. I rather liked the idea of
her sitting in my big armchair looking
sideways at old Bill.
There was quite a crowd in the auc-
tion-room next day I didn't like to ap-
pear anxious to have the picture, but, as
matter of fact, I was anxious, for l had
rake2 out an old letter of the governors s.
which said that Bill had Just been made
county chairman, or something of the
sort, and was going TO sit for his portrait.
This was evidently the identical one
maybe worth tidy bit.
Somebody started the bidding at a
pound-rather a low price-but then the
stupids took him for an ordinary per-
son.
l yelled, Thirty shillingsI" and a voice
close behind me said "Thirty-five"
Forty" said I, and again the voice fol-
lowed. this time with "Forty-ffve."
Three poundsp' I next called, for I
wanted to get the business over quickly.
l heard somebody complaining as the
auctioneer called "Goingi" and turned to
find the pretty girl of yesterday looking
angrily at me.
What does he want with it?" she said,
half crying, and speaking to the frosty
lady beside her. My uncles picture
can't interest him.
Now, this was a little more than I could
bear, and I looked as hurt as I possibly
could on so short a notice. I could see
that she really believed the picture to be
that of her own uncle.
Il beg your pardon, madam I said,
bowling; Il am simply bidding for the por-
trait Of my uncle"
Your uncle?" she said stifTly, with
flushed face. I'm afraid you are much
mistaken! That is my uncle"
1t sounded so absurd that I was almost
a fool before a crowd of people 1 put
on a very firm expression, and said:
My dear young lady. I'm afraid you do
not know
'SirT'-she stopped me, and her mouth
quivered-'' you're extremely rude, know
perfectly well what I am saying 1 tell
you that is the portrait of my uncle
1t is my uncle!' was on my lips, but
l RETAINED from speaking, and turned to
the auctioneer. BY this time however.
the picture had been knocked down to an
other bidder.
l felt almost angry. It was positively
aggravating, after dropping on this most
rare Of uncles. to have him torn from my
grasp in this manner.
Somehow I felt a bit Of a beast when
l heard the girl crying but buoved myself
up with the conviction that mine was q
Just and righteous cause, and that in
contesting for the age-stained relic OF the
family nose l was, In some sense. a hero
] determined 20 call on the auctiooear
the next day and find out who had bought
the picture.
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The Most Remar kabIe Convent.