Pullman herald. [volume] (Pullman, W.T. [Wash.]) 1888-1989, 1898-07-09
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In de parks beln' painted. Detroit
Journal.
by Jove. old chap. how wish there
was no such thing as money" well,
we have no positive proof that there
is."--Life.
Snodgrass-"The world has n place
for everybody" Micawber-"Yes; the
only trouble Is there's generally some
body else In It,"
Yes" said Quiggles, Il have n good
deal on my hands just now" $50 [
perceive" replied Fogg; why don't
you try little soap and water%
do you think a man has a right to
open his wifes letters" We'll, he
may have the right; but don't see
how he could have the courage"
Nellie-"Yesterday was my birthday,
and Charlie gave IN" a rose for each
mense bouquet they must have made
Godfrey-"Doesn't Winchester ever
get tired OF his wifc's continued sulki-
ness and i'll temperY' Scorjel-"l think
not. When she is good-natured she
sings"
Mrs. Sweet-"Do you find II econom-
ical to do your own cooking" Mrs.
Burnem-"Oh. yes: my husband does
mt eat half as much as when we have
a cook"
Uncle, which breed Of chickens is
the bestT' We'll sab, de white one is
lie easiest found. an de dahll ones is de
easiest hid after yo' gifts 'em."-lndia-
napolis Journal.
Il have splendid night lock here
that locks itself" announced the can
vasser THAT won't do me, answered
Roundley. What | want is one that
will unlock itself"
Il asked the young woman In front
OF me to remove her big hat so could
see the stage" Did she do IT." NO;
she said II she held her hat in her lap
she couldn't see the stage herself
Promoter-''Y needn't be bit
afraid the company is perfectly safe"
The Lamb--"Oh. I've no doubt about
the company being safe enough. was
thinking about the safety of my
money"
"Oratory is gift remarked the ad-
miring constituent. Well" replied
Farmer Corntassel. mostly it is. But
now and then Il man gets good enough
at 1t to charge you fur llstenin'. -
Washinton Star.
Il see," said the shoe clerk boarder,
that there is Il king of Africa who has
been drunk for fifteen years" That"
said the Cheerful Idiot. sis what might
be called Il soaking reign. '-lndlanap-
oils journal.
I'll take my chances with postcrity,"
said the poet whose effusions had been
refused. "Of course you will" sneered
the editor. You know mighty well
that posterity cant get at you."-De-
troit Free Press.
"That man Crumlet has more invi-
tations to dinner than any other man in
town." "How does he work it?' He
tells every hostess with a groWn-up
daughter that she must have married
much below the legal age
First Daughter OF the Revolution
"She says she'd Ike to know, for her
part. what practical good our society
does" Second Ditto-''Why. the mean
thing. Just as II we hadn't made it
almost fashionable to be patriotic. -
Judge.
Il had a mighty queer surprise to-
day" remarked local broker. Il put
on n winter suit on account Of the cold
snap-one OF my suits Of last year
and In one OF my vest pockets found
n big roll Of bills, which | must have
forgotten. you know" Were any OF
them receipted" asked a sad-eyed by
stander. Aud the look he received sent
the mercury down about ten degrees
! further.
Gentleman (whO has engaged an
| aged colored hackman to drive him
! from the station TO the hoteD-"Say,
uncle. what's your name" Driver
MY name, sab. Is George Washing
ron" Gentleman-"George Washing
ton, why that names seems familiar"
| Driver Well | should tink it Onght
10. Here been drlvin' TO this station
10 bout twenty years, sah.'
| 81 IRAN, when be YOU
COIN TO pay me them eight dollars ter
pasturin' your heifer: I've had her
now fer about ten weeks Hiram
Agin-'Why, 81, Their critter amt
with more'n ten dollars 81 PUNK
ard-"Well, s'posi9 | keep her fer
what YOU owe me-" Hiram Agin-"Not
by a joyful! Tell you what I'll do;
keep her two weeks more an you can
have her '-Up-to- Date.
ma ,rnmmN and his Nnnn0pr sister