The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1898-09-15

A Colorado gentleman advertised
for a well preserved skeleton, and
shortly after the paper was out an old
maid of his town appeared in her best
bib and tucker and asked him if his
intentions were onorable.-Denver
Post.
1t is said that Kaiser Wilhelm in
tended to make a universal peace proc
lamation from the top of Mount Cal
vary. The Gar anticipated this lofty
purpose and now the War Lord says
he'll be blowed if he'll disarm.-St.
Louis Republic.
When you think the world cannot
get along without you, pull a hair
from your head and see if it makes you
baldheaded. Orange (Va) Observer.
The day before Turkish girl is mar
ried, she is taken to the bath by her
lady friends, and Jumps of sugar are
broken over her head as a forecast of
the sweets of matrimony. A year or
so afterwards, her husband breaks the
whole sugar bowl over her head.-St.
Louis HumOrist.
Much interest is manifested in the
unpleasantness between England and
China. Those pig tail wearers should
be careful not to get bull in their
China shop.-Sauk Centre Avalanche.
1t is said Window editors will be
the first to occupy the new Jail. Why
not, we take naturally to the PEN
Window Citizen.
When Hobson gets the Cristobal Co.
Ion up he might work few air bags
in under Gen. Alger's presidential as
pirations.- Paul Dispatch.
Some people are still in doubt wheth.
er experience is dear teacher or not.
They may become wiser, however, as
they grow older.-Henderson indie
pendent.
The swallows will soon be making
their way to the South, and the tramps
will be making their way to the city to
look after the llows.-Tammany
Times
A friend of ours says his bicycle is
almost human. While riding the other
night he heard an odd noise, and he is
certain it was his front wheel spoke
L. n. w. Bulletin.
Judging from the advice and sugges-
tions since the rock pile has been
started in Centralia it would seem that
a great many persons have had expe-
rience in pulverizing rock.-Centralia
Fireside Guard.
This is the way it is in the east, &C.
cording to a contemporary in that
part of the country: "The melancholy
days are near, the kind that make me
sore-when politicians smell of beer
and saw the air and r."-Lamberton
Star.
A keeper of saloon in an adjoining
county advertising his establishment,
thus concludes: "Those of my patrons
who may require it shall be sent home
on wheelbarrow gratis" This method
should have increased his business
Reedsburg Times.
In New York state man is said to
have been arrested by a policeman
while mailing invitations to a mar
riage-the officer claimed that he was
using the United States mails for ad-
vertising lottery.-Spring Valley
Sun.
Nature may be success as coun-
try artist but it takes a man to paint
the Waterville Gazette.
Mayor Fly of Galveston held mob
of two thousand rioters at bay and the
Chicago News in commenting on his
nerve spells his name ely" Such is
fame. Ely will do though. Fly got
there.-St. Louis Republic.
A motor car ran into wagon con-
tanning three plumbers last week and
at latest accounts the car is irrepara-
bly, injured.-St. Louis HumOrist.
Farmers in the summer time don't
need to buy funny papers. All they
have to do is to 60 out and watch the
city boarder trying to swing the scythe.
-Tammany Times.
A man who wants to succeed in pol
itics must have as many faces as there
are people, one face for every individual
he comes in contact with.-Fergus
Falls Globe.
Nickel plated stars seem to be over