The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1898-09-29
MIR. DOOLEY AND THE HORSE
DOCTOR.

Twas tllS way dpou1 LIZ auoAoN-
looper, said Mr.. Dooley. ''Mack has a
cat that was given him FIR Christmas
prisint be me frind Pierpont Morgan,
an tn cat was a great fav'rite In tn
White House. Twas as quite as TIL
sicrety iv agriculture an as affectionate
MS TIL sicrety iv TIL treasury. Th' cat
was called Cool bonds because iv tn
Interest he dhrew. He very often played
with TIL sicretyaiy tn navy, an ivry wan
that come to TIL White House FIR 81 job
loved him.
'tBut wan day Cool bonds begun to
look bad. He eudden't ate tn r-rich
crane out iv tn di.mon studded saucer.
He stoppd castin' an eye at tn c'nary
in tn cage. WhIn tn sicrety Nv TIL
navy wint down FIR to play with him
Cool bonds spit at that good an great
man. Mack was Shawn himself befure
tn lookin' glass an had JUS got his face
pulled r-round to wan side FIR good
cash whin he heard a scream lv ag'ny
behind him, an turre-nd to- see Cool
bonds lape up with his psws on his
stomach an hit tn ceilin. Mack gave
cry iv turror an grabbed at Cool
bonds. Away whit Cool bonds through
TIL house. TIL sicrety iy war seen him
comm an called pussy, pussy. Cool
bonds whit through his legs an galloped
FIR where TIL postmaster gin'ral was set
tin editin' his paper. Tn postmaster
ginral had just got as far as we opine'
whin he see Cool bonds. an he bate the
cat to TIL windy by whisker.
"Wel1, Cool bonds inded up In tn
coal cellar, an they was cabinet coun-
Gil to see what was TO be done. "Sind
FIR Dochter Heinegagubler' says tn sic-
rety iv war. 'He's wan iv tn gr-reatesr
surgeons iv our time,' he says, an can
cure amy thing firm pips to CHAMBERS, ;
he says.
9Th famous dochther Honeycooler was
sum moned. Sir says Mack, Cool
bonds, tn pride iv tn administration,
has had a fit, he says. 'T'wud br-rak
our harris to lose our little pet, he says.
Co., he says. an take such measures
as ye'er noble hsalin' ART suggests, he
says, an may tn prayers iv an agonized
foster-parent go with ye, he says
can Dochter Higgenlocker whit down
into tn coal shed, an whin he came
back it was with Cool bonds In his
arms weak an pale, but with wan
smile on his lips. Afther embracin' Cool
bonds an tuckin' him away In bed,
Mack tur rms to tn dock. Dock, he
says, we have performed a noble service, ,
he says 4 appint ye a mailer gin'ral ,
he says.
"I'm that Already says TIL dock.
1--WE r-rich relatives in Philadelphia he
says.
@ But, says Mack, tbs shame to
think iv ye'er noble service bein' wasted,
he says, when ye'er country calls, he
says. L aPpint ye he says, surgeon
gin'ral,' he says. Proceed, he says,
to Cuba an stamp out tn Unread
ravages,' be says, 'iv r-ringbone an
staggers,' he says.
"That's how dock got the job. He
was great man down there, an now
he's wan iv TIL vethranyans iv tn war.
Ye herd iv typhoid an yellow fever In
the threnches, but did ye hear anything
iv SPAWN or tn foot-an' mouth disease?
Not wanst. Dock was on jooty late an
early. Sleepless an vigilant he stood
beside tn suffrin' mules, allayin' their
pain an slowly but surely dhraggin'
thin out iv the clutches iv pink-eye an
epizootic. He had a CHEEKY wurrard. q
pleasant smile an bottle iv liniment
FIR wan an all. He cured Tiddy Rosen-
felt hor-rse iv inthraference an made
q soothin' lotion iv axle grease FIR Gin raj
Skaters blackboard.
"Ye might see him amy time wandhr-
in through tn camp with hatful Of
oats or wisp of hay. They called him
TIL Stall angel, an countless thousands
iv sick hor rses blessed him. He's u
great man, is tn dock. But if it
hadn' been FIR Cool bonds tn country
wud niver have had his sarvices. Who
knows but that Maok's cat was tn rale
victhor at Ssndas OF"
"Didn't he cure any menu" asked
Mr.. Hennessy.
"sure,' said Mr.. Dooley. "He cured
Tiddy Rosenfelt w. boltin'. "-Chioago
Evening journal.