The times., 1898-05-29
TALES OF A WEEK.


Even his clothes looked cynical from
long and varied experience with the
rougher sides Of life. but somewhere in
those clothes fingered a twenty-ive-cent
piece, and the wearer assumed dignity in
strict proportion to the Importance OF
the event as he straddIed Iunch-room
stool and considered the Scent bin Of
fare with great elaboration
What's yer order?"
"Hg-h-h-m. Let me think" murmured
the gentleman OF cynical raiment. stnI
contemplating the big-lettered bill Of fare
on the wall
You may bring me an order OF com
bined operations. Three Reeoncentrados
and little Strategic Uncertainty. with
out too much peace After you have es-
tabiished base of supplies you may
Whats yer order?" demanded the
waiter again. as he regarded his Gus
toner with some suspicion
That's what I'm giving you. There
| is no time for delay. We must have
| immediate action. By an order OF COM
bined operations I-mean dish Of your
economical stew When you have re-
| turned from your expedition 20 the
stronghold OF the enemy. deliver the
| results Of your mission and pro-
| ceed upon yonder MORO Castle 10 rescue
me three recOncentradO rOles-those re-.
Vised plans of campaign rolls for which
your joint is famous. To make the de-
feat more crushing. I would drink a cup
OF your uncertain coffee. tempered with
| a precautionary measure Of peace milk.
Away with these sealed orders and after
| cutting the cables that impede your prog
ress, repor ito the War Board not less
| than three years hence,''
The waiter represented to the cook that
| this was crazy mans order, and being
alone in their trouble. because the hour
was late, the peramhuIator of trays and
| the dark visaged perpetratOr OF doubtful
| viands jointly made exceeding great haste
to supply what the customer declared in
| a loud voice 10 be "an urgent deficiency
| in his commissary department"
| Presently the stew, the rolls and the
coffee We're set before the gentleman in
waiting. He viewed the results Of his
| order with evident dissatisfaction
\ That's a field Of operations likely to
| yield wonderful possibilities in the way
Of sudden death or Spanish victory he
/ declared. Those recOncentrados,' point
/ ing 10 the rolls. ''are and Of a right
| ought to be free and independent; they
| have been working long enough for their
| freedom And that Coffee Waiter. bear
| down upon that sugar-Iaden Spanish
| schooner just sighted on the port side.
1 need it in my business
| The waiter made hurried attack upon
| the sugar bowl, and tOwed his prize down
/ the counter to the eccentric customer.
Il will now center my attack upon SAN
/ uago harbOr. murmured the cynical gen
! tleman. as with profound attention he
/ gazed into the depths Of the stew. 4
i must take chances on CerVera's feet being
| buried somewhere near here in a state OF
/ incOmUnicadO- There is some reason TO
| believe that the harbOr is deserted that
/ Cervera has escaped continued the dis
| satisfied one as ne explored the stew with
| a pewter spoon Anyway We viii pro-
| ceed 10 take possession. Only prompt and
| aggressive action can save the day
| The waiter watched the disappearance
/ of Santiago harbor and likewise the an
/ initiation of the three recOncentradOs
with interest, and his relief was very ap-
| parent when the customer had concluded
| operations and stood at the cigar case,
! presumably 10 pay the check
should I refuse TO surrender the price
| Of the meal you have just seen embark
upon an unknown expedition and hoist i
1 flag Of truce, what could you dor in
i quired the cynical gentleman, producing
/ a Once-very-long-ago white handkerchief
| You cannot appeal 10 the powers; it's
! long way 10 the kitchen for re-enforce-
ments, and I'm on the outside Of the
/ counter"
1 That's right. You've got the best OF
| it." hurriedly agreed the waiter. not car-
! ing TO precipitate hostihtiss with crazy
man. You jes' duck. en- We'll call i
square"
The gentleman "ducked." and presently
/ surrendered his quarter over a neighbOr-
/ ing bar in return for several fingers
T! Gengthwise) Of "Ceryera's bottled-up
| fleet"
Representative McMillin was made the
victim of a bright piece Of curostone rep
nrtee the other night. and his friends are
laughing over it vet. The Congressman
| was walking down the Avenue deep IN
conversation with a friend, and his shoes
were sadly in need OF a shine Their
ldustiness attracted the attention Of every
bootblack on the street
shine mister2''
| Better get EN- shined''
Let me give Y a nice shine"
After several blocks of this sort OF
thing Mr.. McMillin grew angry
No I don't want a shine. IN fact I
| wouldn't have a shine under any consider
ation"' he shouted 10 the ff,ieth urchin
that had interrupted his conversation
This declaration had the effect Of in
creasing the crowd OF anxious bOotblacks.
| who fairly surrounded the congressm man.
all shouting shine at once.
The next boy that says shine To me,
will get an axe" shouted NIcIilIin.
Better get a. shine screamed a little
| Niger bootblack.
And the congressman did.