Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1898-01-08

napkin could have suspected that at
home we were in the habit of cutting
our bear-steak with a iack-knife and
wiping our mouth on II coat-tails.
The berths In the sleepers bothered us
at first, but we soon caught on to the
racket and had both boots off before
the conductor made a suggestion. In
consideration of the feelings Of certain
timid passengers we gave the porterour
guns to take charge of during thenight,
and do not remember TO have enjoyed a
sweeter sleep.
The Kicker, in common with the
great majority of Giveadam Gulch, has
been opposed to the rapid leaps and
bounds of civilization, as tending to I'M
sex the bone and sinew of the great
Western Empire, but from this date on
ward we shall take broader and more
liberal view of the general situation,
even if we lose half our subscribers and
bring the number of victims in our pri-
yate graveyard up to an even score.
For the last five years we have ar
gued that Giveadam Gulch was the
only place in America worth living in,
and have felt pity for the poor critters
who were obliged TO put in time else
where. In II trip we ran across half 4
hundred towns which can give us fifty
points and then win the game. Old
jim Hewson, who was born in the year
one, and who thinks this is only the
year two, will probably shoot at us for
thus publicly stating II convictions
but truth is mighty and will prevail
We may be ousted from our post,
m~astership for stating that we passed
through a hundred places having NOR,
saloons than our Gulch, with city hall,
twice as imposing, but we have Away.
been a man to take chances.
No band out at St. Louis to welcom,
us, but as it was raining heavily, an,
! AL the bands were extra busy that T.,
we al not feel injured to an" great ex-
tent. We hadn't been IN the town an
hour before we ielt that if they would
oax n few cowboys into town and per
nit a little shooting at telegraph poles
and saloon fanlights, we should fee
perfectly at home, At the hotel we rode
upstairs In an elevator. Three months
ago the Kicker had a half-page Illus,
trated article on passenger elevators
and ~editorially stated in the same issue
that any man with a pair of legs under
him who would take this effete way OF
beating the stairs ought to be com
pell~d to wear a dress and bonnet. We
have undergone a change of opinion
If the Blue Buzzard hotel at Giveadam
Gulch doesn't put in an elevator this
summer we shall cease to chew on,
fodder and take our nips at that cara
vansary. If one goes in the boys will
gather TO shoot it full of holes, bu,
we shall be there TO argue for c~iviliza
ton.
We missed the free and easy tanner.
Of the Gulch at the hotel table in st
Louis, and 1t was something of a strair
on the nervous system, but we cam.
out of 1t alive and right-side up, will
our napkin showed down in our coat
tail pocket for a handkerchief. TIL,
winter made a faux pas in passing us ,
lot OF quill toothpicks instead of {
cedar silver, but as he had never LIVED
west of st. Louis we did not Law 1t u,
against him.
Called on the postmaster, as was on,
duty. and were well received. He ha,
heard of u post office at Giveadan
Gulch, and was ready to agree will
us that any free-born American post
master who would lick on stamps TO
any critter with whiskers on his chi,
ought to be ousted at "a hours motto,
He wa also Of our way Of thinkin,
In regard to shooting through the ger
I. eral delivery window to attract the q,
tention Of the clerk. He cannot 20 gu
and expedite the service, as we car
by following up the mail carriers an
uttering an occasional yell or firing
few random shots. but he Il evidently
l.lRSt savers
Ala fe5f Il o,,~ d,,@v - ali ,,r.- n