Evening star., 1898-06-11
MIR. DOOLEY ON THE WAR.
Pays His Respects to the Army and
It's Leaders.

It's Leaders.
From the Chicago Journal.
"Well." Mr.. Hennessy asked, "how goes
tn war;"
Splendid, thank ye," said Mr.. Dooley.
Fine; fine 1t makes me hear-rt throb
with pride that I'm a citizen iv tn sixth
wa-ard."
Has tn ARMY started fr Cuba yet?'
WAN ARMY, says ye? TwintyI Las
Choosdah an advance ARMY iv wan hun
dherd an twinty thousand men landed firm
tn Gussie, with tin thousand cannons
hurlin projck-tyles weighin' eight hunderd
pounds. sivnteen miles. Winsdah night a
second ARMY iv injineers, miners. plumb
ers an lawn tennis experts, numberin in
all four hundherd an eighty thousand men,
ARMED with death-dealin' canned goods,
was hurried to Havana to storm tn city.
Thursdah mornin' three thousand full ri2i-
mints iv Trough r-riders swum their
hor-rses acrost to Matoonzas an afther a
spirited battle captured tn Rainy Christiny
golf links, two up an hell to play, an
Will hold thin again all comcrs. TIL same
afthernoon TIL reg lar cavalry, con-sistin'
iv four hundherd an eight thousan' we'll
mounted men, was loaded aboard tn tug
Lucy j. an departed on their earned iv
death amidst tn cheers iv eight millyon
sojers left behind at Chlckamauga. These
cav'lry'n cooperate with Commodore
Schlow. an whin he desthroys tn Spanish
fleet, as he does ivry Sundah an holy day
except in Lent, an finds out where they
ar-rc an desthroys thin, after batterin'
down tn forts where they are concealed
SO that he can't see thin but thinks they
ARE on their way f'r to fight Cousin
George Dooiey, tn cav'lry will make a
dash back to Tampa, where Gn'ral Miles
is preparin' ii desthroy tn Spanish at wan
blow-an' he's tn boy to blow.
THE gin'ral arrived tn other day fully
prepared f'r tn bloody wurruk iv war. He
had his intire family with him. He r-rode
recklessiy into camp mounted on a superb
SPECIAL ca-ar. AS himsilf an Uncle Mike
Miles, an Cousin Hennery Miles, an Mas
ter Miles, aged eight years, dismounted
firm TIL specyai train, they were received
with wild cheers be eight millyon iv tn
bravest sojers that liver give up their lives
fr their country. TIL press cinchorship
is pow rful that no news is allowed to
go out, but l have ii firm TIL specyal cor
ryspondint iv Mesiif, Clancy tn butcher.
Mike Casey. an tn city direchtry that
Gin'ral Miles instantly repaired himsilf to
III hotel, where he made his plans f'r
cr-rushn' ht' SpanyaIds at wan blow. He
Will equip TIL ARMY with blow-Suns at
wanst. His uniforms arr comm down in
specyal steel protected bullyon trains fr
tn mint Wtiare they We been kept fr a
year. He has ordhered out III gold resarve
f'r to equip his staff, numberin' eight thou
san men, NANNY iv whom ar re clubmen,
an soon as he can have his pitchers
took he Will or-ruSh tn Spanish with wan
blow. TIL purpose iV tn gin'ral is TO per
nit no delay. Decisive action is demanded
be tn people. An whin tn hot air ma
sheens has been stint to tn front Gin'ral
Miles will strike wan blow that'n be tn
damdest blow since tn year iv tn big wind
in Ireland.
''Iv coorse, they'se dissinsions in tn cabi-
net, but they don't amount to nawthin'.
Th' sicret'y iv war is in favor iv sawin' tn
Spanish ar-rmy into two-be-four joists. TIL
sicrety iv tn threeasury has scheme f'r
rooinin' thin be lindin' thin money. TIL
sicrety iv tn navy wants to sue thin be-
fure tn MattsachusettS supreme coort.
I've heerd that TIL prisidnt is arrangin' a
knee dhrill with tn idee iv prayin' tn Will
vans to tn divyil. But these differences
don't count. We're all wan people an We
look TO Gin'ral Miles to desthroy tn Span
ish with wan blow. Whin it comes trees
will be lifted out be tn roots. Moro cas-
tell cave in an tn air'll be full iv Spanish
whiskers. A long blow, a sthrong blow; an
d blow all together. That's the motto iv
tn ADMINISTRATION
We're a great people, said Mr.. Hen
messy, earnestly.
I'VE ar-re," said Mr.. Dooley. I'VE ar-re
that. An tn best iv it is We know We
ar-re.