New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1898-08-29
NO MARBLE FOR HIM.
Maid Il Athens. ere We part.
ave. oh give me hack my heart;

cay, oh. give me hack my heart;
Right here say 10 you.
That this old marble thinS wont 90
-tDetroit Tribune.
,,.,o,o,d ron who went East 70 spend his
,..,,ion brought home with him what h. thinks
* IL now mothei-in-.nw story. says The CLEVELAND
Plain Dealer" Mothcr-in-law stories are drug
on the market hut this one seems TO be littl'
less drlyry than usual
man ard hl, wife went to Europe. and the
mans mothcr-iu-law wen. along. Up 10 this poin-
thor, is no novelty In the story
ON the VOYAGE the mother-in-law zen I'll and die1.
OF course she had to BE- buried at sea. ana so the
usual canvas sack was male. but Instead OF an IRON
weight 10 sink the body they used bag OF coat
In commenting on the arrangements aner"ard
,h, borrowed son-in-aw who suffered badly, said;
II always knew where m-m- -moth'r-ln-la"
vas r-.oing but b-b-blanc me- II ! s-s-supposed
she'd have ito carry her own ff-fuc!'
Putting rhornS In Ills own Path-Enpeck II
could be- horn again ana could have my own choice
about H. / think Ia De IA woman
Mrs Eupcck-Why?
Enpctk Wei thcn couldn't possibly repeat the
Ra, his last words were lost he jumped through
the window-tCleyeiand Leader.
\, a banquc, given TO King Oscar during his Of
fetal visit 10 Carlshcrg there were presen, a num-
Der @, officers from nc!ghboring garrison At the
close % the banquet the notab!ties OF the place
w,r, presented 10 The King individually. and His
MAJESTY convcrsed with each In his well-known
ulcasant manner Among others. a distinguished
officer OF the Smaaand Infantry was presented
who was known as pronounced fanatic and as
cotc During the conversation King Oscar took
ND his glass I'm order 10 drink healths With the Of
nccr TO ring their glasses together" Is the use
In Sweden ms IN Germany. To the Kings great
establishment the captain said that his religious
convictions prevented him from responding the
Kings toast. The King then said: m you will
have no drinking. then take an empty glass. even
so can ring glasses with you" The officer hest
tated for a moment. and then replied: NO. Your
Majesty. my principles fora!d me"
# Seemed So Mrs Walacc-What do YOU think
OF this Chinese ladies who were kept locked up
twenty years ago may now be seen riding bicycles
Mr. Wnllacc-Well. IT looks to mo that in twenty
years woman ought to have grown old enough
Here Is one OF Robert Crawford's stories about
Uruguay: Two men surprised a farmer and his
wife in their little hut while IT was broad day
light, The man was seized and bound and the two
villains proceedd to torture him to make him dis
close the hiding place OF his hoard The wife begged
and pleaded the horrors increased the man
proving obdurate Finally she said she would tell
them where the treasure was II they would follow
her one of the two accordingly went to the
chest I'm the corner with her She opened IT, FUN
b,,d about inside OF II for moment until she
found what she looking for In another mo-
ment the thief at her side was dead and his fell
covered By Il large revolver Ill me hands or
A small but eager woman OF the people He got
AWAY before she could quite make mp her mind TO
shoot him. too. Then the husband was relea sed
and the nc.yhbors. some miles away. called in
Word was finally taken TO the central police az
thority OF the state. the officers came. viewed
the dead ihlef-and Identified him as their A,tor-
ncy-General 1t is not unlikely" Mr.. Crawford
adds that his accompl!ce the Judge OF the
Criminal Court"
Both Eyes to Business. He was typical street
gamin. with backing KIT sung over his shout
der. and az he walked boldly into the store OF a
Wabash-aye: opucan his head scarcely reached
the top OF the counter.
Say he asked Of elderly gentleman at the
desk ARE youse de guy wot runs dis joint"
II am the proprietor was the reply. What can
] do for YOU. my boy?'
Den I've got one o dem resserprosy propersl-
tions ter shy at youse." said the urchn. Gimme
one nv yer chairs an let open up a shoe shin
cry I'm front o. yer winder. see?
Not exactly replied the optician Fl fail IN
what benefit would derive from such an ar
rnngement"
Well. It's like dis" answered the youthful
schemer. yer see. | puts sich n dazzlin shine on
me customers kicks dat Il ruins dere eyes an
dey'n haf ter come In and buy spocks Nv youss:
savsyT-tChicago NswA