davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1898-08-08
ADMIRAL DEWEY'S LIVER.
AS a. Result of an Italian surgeon
Operation He Has only farI VI
One.


There are a few officers Of the navy
who can recall when Rear Admiral
George Dewey once before faced death'
and an occasion when that omcer
didn't have half a chance; but it was
an occasion that he did not wish TO
have made public at the time nor lor
some time afterward. Perhaps some
will be prompted, wnen they meet MN
after his return from the Philippines TO
saw to him, well! you had a nVef!
But that is just what Admiral George
Dewey hasn't, nor has he mad one lot
several years. Now good, Whole ilVer
is regarded as Indispensable 10 keep
man going, but Dewey has shown TO
the world that he can do with only part
of a liver.
1t was when Dewey was a captain
ONLY that he underwent a terrible opeT-
alton under an Italian surgeons knlIe
and hazarded a possible chance OF lie,
and for long time afterward he SUI
tered intensely from the effects or the
marvellous excelsior. He was COM
handing officer Of the slocp-of-War
Pensacola in the European squadron
at the time. and he had become desper-
atelv ill from what mariners are ire
ouently troubled with, a 'troplc nver,
in other words, what is more common
" spoken of as a baked liver, or
tropical liver ailment, which is as mucn
more severe than yellow Jaundlce as
all tropical diseases are more vlrulent
than the corresponding types in tenn
perate zones On two occasions Med
ical Director Hcehling expressed alarm
as to the result unless some leilel
was brought to hand.
Finally. at Malta, a consultation was
held between Surgeon Hoehling and his
assistant and an Italian speclalst OIL
Southern Italy. who belonged to the
class that make themselves famlilar
with those troubles, because IN the Gil
mate of the Mediterranean they are an
indigenous product. The trouble was
soon diagnosed, and it was suggested
that the only relief was to remove that
mart Of the liver that had become mar
dened 1t was also recognized That the
operation would be a hazardous one.
When spoken to about it Captain
Dewey asked what was the chance OF
making the operation successful. Inc
Italian expert responded: lhere
only one chance in ten of your living
through it, To this the officer replied
that he would take that chance and for
the surgeons to go to work as soon as
they wished. The patient was put I'M
der the influence of anaesthetics, his
stomach was cut into and the diseased
end of the liver drawn out and in
spected and then cut Off. The remain
ing part was treated to prevent hemcr-
rhage and then put back in place, ard
the lips made by the surgeons knife
we're sewed up The recovery was a
slow process, but it was a successful
operation, and he is as able to do duty
to-day as if no operation had ever been
necessary. But his most intimate ac-
quaintances say that the operation
worked change in his temperament
New York Tribune.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1898-08-08
HOBSON'S LUCK,

Everything comes Hobson's way
these days. Down at Long Beach, L.
l., Friday the hero of the Merrimac
was presented with a gold sword and
kissed the prettiest girl in the hotel!
We can stand the sword business all
right without special envy. The pens
mightier than the sword, anyway, the
poet says-and the poet ought to know.
But that kiss!
The lovely creature ran up to- the
handsome lieutenant blushing furious
ly, which added to her luscious beauty,
and asked: May l kiss your"
Might she kiss him! Think of it!
What luck,
She turned eloquent eyes on him and
her parted lips like twin roses" as
the crazy reporter put it, whispered
sweet invitation.
Il would be very proud to comply"
said the lieutenant blushing almost as
deep as the beautiful woman before
him.
Would he, indeed. Would he enter
heaven?
And he did. Of course, Hobson's no
fool. These soft snaps don't come even
hero's way every day. All the men
around turned bright envious green,
while the feminine portion became
faint with jealousy, though pretending
indifference and shifting contemptu-
ously.
Hobson is magnificent hero. We all
admit that He is deserving of all
honor. But isn't he getting a trifie
more than his share of the good things
of this life?
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1898-08-08
JEFFERSON AND THE IMPERIALI.TS

JEFFERSON AND THE IMPERIALI.TS
The Republican press Of the organic
Intelligencer stripe are chewing over
as sweet morsel the following utter
ance which they credit to Mr.. Reagas
Of Texas a Democrat:
ut was within our reach to become
the greatest commercial nation in the
world. Acquisition of territory was spok-
en- of as being imperialism 1t has been
said that Jefferson was the greatest apos-
tie of civil liberty and democratic prin-
was imperialism. Jefferson was the great
est tmperialist this government has ever
produced "
Although this is boldly credited to
Judge Reagan by the organs advocating
the Hanna-Elkins Wall street scheme of
territorial ACKNOWLEDGEMENT, we serious
doubt if Mr.. Reagan uttered it, He
is too we'll informed especially on this
matter to utter such arrant nonsense,
or put down Thomas Jefferson-one of
the founders of the Republicans an
advocate of the imperial idea, for JEFF
ings and belief diametrically oppose
any such assumption and most en-
phatically give the lie to ~ claim that
Jefferson held the views ofFthe narrow
souled politicians of to-day who have
no higher aspirations than personal
enrichment and the welding of power,
who can not. nor never could appre-
ciate the noble sentiments of Jetfer-
son.
Jefferson's policy of acquiring terri
tory was not what the Wall street
sharks of to-day advocate and of which
we have sample iii the Hawaiian job.
Jefferson's policy was the reverse of
this. That great Democrat sought to
acquire only contiguous territory, a.
part of our own continent and with a
homogeneous population. His policy,
which brought sixteen new States into
the Union, was to control the entire
Mississippi on both banks and to it's
mouth. The inhabitants of this terri
tory, whose present population Is 15,-
100000, were Of the same racial char
acteristics and political and religious
beliefs as the people of the New Eng
land and Middle and Southern States
of the Union
His was grand act of statesman
ship uniting under one government
homogeneous people whose sympathies,
beliefs and interests were the..sam
And this act of Jefferson was s;6er-
ent from the selfish money makinSs
Wall street schemes for grabbing far
distant islands populated h. aliens.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1898-08-08
COLOMBIAN CONGRESS MEETING.

Colon, Columbia, August 7, via Gal
weston, Texas, August Tt is under
stood in local circles that Congress is
holding a secret session at BogOta dis
cussing the matter of the settlement of
the Ceruti claim. The dissatisfaction
over the virtual forced settlement OF
the claim and the consequent drain up
on Colombia's resources is beginning
to create much bitter feeling through
out the country. Even the Italian CO.
lonies at Barranquilla and other ports
are resenting the actions of the Italian
government.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1898-08-08

Sporting interest grows as the time
approaches for the meeting" of Mccoy
and Corbett. These two men are at
the head of their profession and in the
game of scientific fisticuffs have not
their equals anywhere in the world
This is a sport that every normal
man must confess an interest in and as
exemplified by these two famous ex-
ponents it is as largely as possible free
from the disgusting brutality that a
mere contest of physical strength and
endurance degenerates into.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1898-08-08
DIED..

CRAMER-Suncay afternoon. August Z.
1895, at O'Clock, Leota. wife of the late
\. E. Cramer. aged 26 years.
Funeral notice hereafter
CARNEY-At Wheeling Hospital. on
Friday morning. August 9Th, at o'clock,
Mary Jane Carney, relict of the late c. J.
Carney.
The funeral will take place from the
Hospital at $50 o'clock a. M, on Monday,
the Sth inst. Services at St Joseph $
Cathedral at o'clock. Interment at Mt
Calvary cemetery.
please omit flowers)
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1898-08-08
\ CALL.
HEADQUARTERS DEMOCRATIC
STATE EXECUTIVE COMMITTEE,

WESTON, w. Va, August 1st. 1898.
AT the urgen. request of Democrats
throughout the State, a meeting of the
Democratic State Executive Committee
is hereby called to assemble at the Hotel
Jackson, in the city of Parkersburg, on
TUESDAY, THE 18th DAY OF AUGUST,
1898, at o'clock p. m.
All persons having at heart the success
of the Democratic party, and the estab-
the Chicago platform as we'll as all who
desire the downfall of the dominant dy-
nasty in this State, are most cordially in
vited to attend. Each and every mem
Der of the committee is especially request
ed to be present
ANDREW EDMISTON,
au2i Chairman.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1898-08-08
DELEGATES ELECTED.

Special to the Register.
Martinsburg, w Va, August THE
Democrats Of this county met yester-
day. Eight delegates were elected to
represent this city in the District del
egate convention, to be held here Au-
gust s, also eight delegates to repre-
sent the city in the senatorial conven-
ton, to be held August r. Twenty
delegates were elected to represent the
city in the county convention.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1898-08-08

TO punish an officer of the National
Guard for entering the volunteer ser
vice Of the United States by depriving
him of his commission in the guard.
seems without any justification or ex-
cuse," says Governor Johnston. of AL
ALBANIA, in a letter to the New York
Herald. "In this State (Alabama),
every officer of the National Guard and
every private will retain his rank and
place, and the officers continue to hold
the s2mmissions until the war closes,
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1898-08-08
A SANDER ON ELKINS.

Perhaps the eagerness Of Mr.. Elkins to
have the Philippines annexed can be
traced to a desire to bring over some of
ina tnat famous "a , foreign ten cents day Ia
Hawaii, Cuba and Luzon annexed there
Will be no trouble about having cheap
labor to burn in this country. But the
white man. what will become of him.
Parkersburg Sentinel.
This is mean insinuation against
Elkins, who is known to be a philan-
thropist and to act always with special
regard for the welfare of his employees
Does our contemporary really believe
if the great imperialist got right good
chance-say the next strike-he would
sneak some coolies, or Hawaiian Chi
nese slaves in on his miners already
down to rock-bottom pay?
Perish the thought! Isn't Elkins a
chief in the g. o. p. whose principal
motto is Protection to American la
bor?" Isn't that enough to satisfy any
reasonable man, even if this political
promise Of bread is usually kept with
a stone after election day has passed!
Again, perish the thought that Elk
ms would take such mean advantage
of his men in tight place as to even
think of running in Hawaiian coolies
on them.
True, the American labor of Ameri-
can sugar raisers has been brought by
Hawaiian annexation into direct COM
petition with this most degraded labor
in the world, but, then, E,kins isn't
a sugar planter; he's philanthropic
millionaire coal mine owner.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1898-08-08

Special to the Register.
Martinsburg. w Va, August Z. The
Berkeley County Institute. which
closed here yesterday, was one OF the
most interesting ever held in the c5un-
ty. Prof j. F. Rucker and J. F. Neei.
of Romney, were the instructors. About
$50 teachers were enrolled. Mrs. En-
ma NJ. Cronan, of New York. gave
some very interesting lessons on the
Polar system of teaching, which has
been adopted in this county.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1898-08-08

~ mntter how iong Il may continue. :
It Is different, however, IN West vir-
ginia, where our more or less able Gov
ernor has decided that National
Guardsman who volunteers at his
country's call must forfeit his commits
sion or place in the State Guard.
Governor Atkinson would put. pa
tTiOtism at discount
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1898-08-08

half savage RACES utterly different from
our own people and whom We never
could thoroughly assimdlate as night
is from day or as one OF these half
naked Malay semi-savages is from q
New Yorker.
To compare Jefferson's magnificent
achievement uniting territory and peo-
pie who manifest destiny intended
should be united, with the new scheme
of grabbing half-heathen islands on
the other sidesof the world thousands
of miles from our shores, is the height
CT absurdity and an insult to the in
telligence and common sense of the
American people. Moreover, it is a
libel on the memory of the great Demo-
crat for the small-souled grabbers of
territory in the China Sea to compare
themselves to Jefferson or their unpa-
triotic and purely selfish scheme of
greed to Jefferson's grand and noble
work of uniting politically parts of
this great country which God already
had united physically.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1898-08-08
SENT TO THIS CITY.

Special to the Register.
Steubenville, Chic, August IA wo-
man named Mrs. Kipps, wheeling
two-year-old child, and a valise, was
found here last night, Frustrated with
fatigue, having come on foot from
Empire She claimed to be going
from Pittsburgh to Wheeling, where
she has relatives. Her husband de-
serted her She was given transport
alton to Wheeling to-day.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1898-08-08

Boss Plat may select Cornelius N.
Bliss as the Republican candidate for
Governor of New York and one B. B..
Cdell to succeed Edward Murphy as
U. S. Senator. How convenient it is
for the Republican party of the Empire
State to have one man thus take all
these little matters and worries on his
own shoulders. New York Republi-
cans ought to be grateful to their oily
boss. From the manner in which they
keep him always on top, it is evident
they are.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1898-08-08

Warren Miller in Withdrawing from
the Congressional race in the Fourth
district exhibits shrewdness. He wise
ly takes advantage of the "scrapping
match now going on in his party to
drop out of losing game.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1898-08-08
SHAKE INTO YOUR SHOES

Aliens Foot Ease, powder for the feet
1t cures painful. swollen, smarting, ner-
vous feet and instantly takes the sting
out of corns and bunions. It's the greatest
comfort discovery of the age. Aliens
Foot Ease makes tight or new shoes feel
easy. 1t is certain cure for sweating.
to-day. Sold by all druggists and shoe
stores. BY mail for &c in stamps. Trial
package FREE Address, ALLEN 8.
OLMSTED. Leroy. N. 7. -
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1898-08-08
FROM THE CABINET.

First Spiritualist-I have just heard that
Brother Goastmacher was caught and
cooked by Cannibals
Second Spiritualst-I wonder how they
served him.
Medium done, in all probability. In
dianapolis Journal.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1898-08-08

A New York man has been sent to
Jail for swearing at his wife. Thus are
the time honored rights of freemen be-
ing boldly disregarded in the Empire
State.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1898-08-08
THE GLORY OF WAR.

The glory of war my comrades,
Is not in the battles fought.
It's not in all titled greatness
Which men by valor have bought
'Tis not in the strongholds taken
Nay, not in the conqueror's plan
The glory of war is the triumph of right
In the onward march Of man.
Chicago Record
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1898-08-08

In his speech at Charleston present
ing stand of colors to the Second Reg
iment Gov Atkinson said:
There is time for war and time for
peace. Both cannot exist at the same
time.
For profundity of thought this heads
anything since the palmy days of Arte-
mus Ward.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1898-08-08

If the Prince of Wales pays us that
threatened visit we will have to en-
large the idiot asylums at all the fash
ionable centres to accommodate the
Anglo-American chappies.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1898-08-08

England has the war fever bad and
the lion with bristling name is growl-
ing at the Russian bear in a way that
means trouble unless the bear gives
Way
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1898-08-08
PENCTERE PROOF.

Wrathful Buyer-Look here, You call
this puncture proof tire?-Look how 1t
has fiattened out.
Placid Dealer-Yes. That is the pune
ture proof.-Cincinnat Enquirer.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1898-08-08
TROOPS A b Y a N CE.
The Conquest Of Porto Rico Being
Vigorously Pushed by the Ameri-
can PROFESSIONALISM Admit De-
feat.

Ponce. Porto Rico, August Z (morn-
ing), via st. Thomas, D. w. LA gem
eral advance of the American force be-
gan this morning. The remainder of
General Ernst's brigade, constituting
the advance center, supported by two
batteries, moved out at 6 o'clock and a
part of the Eleventh infantry, of Gen.
eral Henry's division, started to the
left toward Adjuntas. Troop A, of
New York, the Philadelphia City troop,
and Troop H, of the Sixth regulars,
are conveying General Brooke's trans
portation column along the coast road
through Salinas to Arroyo.
Wire communication with General
Brooke, on the right, has not yet been
established.
Colonel Rice, of General Miles staff.
will probably be assigned to the COM
mand of the Sixth Massachusetts.
Madrid, August7, 2 p. m.-An official
dispatch from Porto Rico says the
Americans yesterday seized the Gus
toms house in the village of Fajardo,
which place was without garrison.
An American column, the dispatch
also says, supported by artillery, ad-
yanced on Guayama. The Spanlards
made brave defense, but were forced
to withdraw to Alturas. Seventeen on
the Spaniards were killed.
Ponce, Porto Rico, Sunday Evenlhs'
August 7. via ST. Thomas, u: W. l..
General Wilson has moved the head
quarters of his division from Ponce
to Juana DiaZ
General Schwan, with the Eleventh
infantry, and two batteries moved 70
DAY through Yauco toward Mayaguez'
General Brooke is moving north from
Guayma with 10000 men.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1898-08-08

Stamps Of The denomination of two cents
and less accepted for amounts less than
one dollar.
Correspondence containing important
news solicited from every part OF the sur
rounding country.
Rejected communications will not be re-
turned unless accompanied by sufficient
postage.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1898-08-08
JINGLES AND JESTS.

PRICE, tell you, to be a soldier IS
great opportunity.
Bradley-Yes: I was thinking as
much when l saw the way the pretty
girls were embracing them.-TOwn
Topics.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1898-08-08

The REGISTER, embracing it's several
EDITIONS, is entered at the T'nstoffice at
Wheeling. w. Va. as second-class matter.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1898-08-08

81 think" said Mr. Gibbs, THE
Woman's Temperance Union had bet
ter be looking after that Miss Plymp-
ton"
Why" said his wife in shocked
tone. Does she drink"
INC" answered Mr.. Gibbs, "b,.t her
glances are SO Intoxicating. ''-Harper's
Bazaar.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1898-08-08

ZEAL COFFEE.
NOTICE TO THE PUBLIC.

business will be continued by me in tha
same office formerly occupied by the
firm of Rinehart & Tatum. Thanking the
licit continuance of the same.
w. II. RINEHART.
Tel. 2l9, Room No. 6. The City Bank Bldg.
au7e&da
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1898-08-08

Minister'S Wife-Tommy Crowther,
you haven't washed your face to-day
Tommy Crowther-'Tain't Sunday.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1898-08-08

SECOND PAGE
Mems Blue and Black Serge Suits Jos.
Lieberman & Co.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1898-08-08

- IL syn
Hoax-You're not going to the sea-
shore for the summer?
JoaX-Yes.
Hoax-Why, think of a Spanish war
ship bombarding the place.
Jcax-That would be a good thing.
They might kill off thousands of the
mosquitoes Philadelphia Record.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1898-08-08

Women say of every pretty girl that
she might be tolerably good looking. il
she didn't know it so well herself
Washington Democrat.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1898-08-08
FEMALE HELP WANTED.


WANTED-An experienced young lady 10
clerk in a confectionery. Apply l5I7 Mar
ket street ause3
WANTED-A good cook Apply No. 1911
Chapline street. References. auth
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1898-08-08
ITO OUR CUSTOMERS.

Cali and examine the New Home Fruit
DRYER Hangs over the kitchen stove
aud utilities the heat that otherwise is
wasted Three wire bottom drawers.
COMPACT durable cheap.
GEO. w. JOHNSON'S SONS,
1910 Main Street.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1898-08-08

GASOLINE STOVES AT LOW
~ PRICES.
sBurner $50 s-Burner. $3.50.
Only few more left at these prices.
NESBITT & BRO.
mon. thu 1872 Market Street.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1898-08-08
Statesmen WANTED.

wRNTED-An experienced salesman to
and Roof Paint Best on the Market
Salary commission or side line. CONF
MONWEALTH OIL CO, Cleveland, o.
au4etdq
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1898-08-08
M)eeling Resistfr
CHARLES II. TANEY. GENERAtsMANAGER
DELIVERED BY CARRIERS.

Daily and Sunday, by Mall, Postage Pre-
paid.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1898-08-08
rHIRD PAGE,

Mems Blue and Black Serge Suits Jos.
Lieberman & Co.
THIRD PAGE.
Bargains in -Milligan, Wilkfn q
Co.
FOURTH PAGER
Seal Brand Java and Mocha Coffee-H.
+. Behrens Co.
Wanted-Young Lady to Clerk In Com
fectionery.
Notice to the Public-W. H. Rinehart
Co-Partnership Notice-Simpson & Ia
tum.
Wanted-Driver.
FIFTH PAGE.
Great Shirt Waist sale-Geo. NJ Shook
& Co.
EIGHTH PAGE.
A Great Sale of Black Silks-Stone. q
Thomas.
Bargains in the Curtain Department
Geo e. Stifel & Co.
Semi-Annual Sale of Pants-kraus Bros.
New GooGs-John Friedel Il co.
Summer Duds--D. Gundling q Co
Special Sale of Observation-Disclosures. r.
Tavlor Co.
New Early Fall Hats-Lou Swabacker.
Cuticura Soap.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1898-08-08
SAVINGS BANKS.
mon. wed. sun
WANTED.
MALE HELP WANTED.


WANTED-Driver, single man: must read
and write well. Apply SNOW FLAKE
No. 1890 Main street au7eqdq
WANTED-Two young men 10 run as
have 5000 cash security Apply at UN-
ION NEWS CO, office h. & O. depot
ty11e&dh
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1898-08-08
n,w,f, sid

Who perspires freely, will be surprised
when he notes how much longer the linen
done at the Pearl keeps fresh and cool
when the thermometer is on the rampage.
than that they have ever worn before.l
Our hot weather laundry work Is done
up for keeps, and you save money by
having 1t done at the
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1898-08-08

Mothers come home, papa, and
she's lost 10 pounds.
The COMPOUNDED old!
Hush! You mustn't use such Ian
guage. Ten pounds weight, l mean,
not money"
"Oh, ali! Good job, too!"-Fun.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1898-08-08

Heidi your friend, the soprano.
ever reach high C?
She-Yes; one day while we were at
the dentists, l believe she did.-Yon-
ker's Statesman.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1898-08-08

He-There are at least dozen wo-
ren who would be glad to get me if
you were to die.
She-I don't doubt [. They know
I've got you pretty we'll trained.-Tid
Bits
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1898-08-08

Maiden-What can woman do
when a man that has won her affection
refuses to marry her?
Lawyers he rich?
Maiden-No; hasn't a cent.
Lawyer-She can appoint a day of
general thanksgiving and invite both
families to participate.-New York
Weekly.