The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1898-04-03
EXERCISE IN ELOCUTION.
Read This and See How Many Words
You Can Pronounce Correctly.

Washington Post.
1t is lamentable that the subject of pro-
nunciation should at times, become pro
yocative of irascible behavior. Often what
should be a joust in occult orthoepy de-
generates into maniacal alteration amid
tartarean seismic avalanche of words
Not long since a robust, dlSputatve coll
legian his clothes of the latest Pail Mall
cut his bifurcated necktie adorned with a
solitaire and an onyx ring, his boutonnlere
a gilly flower, and a pair of castanets his
hair dressed with oleomargarlne ana per-
fumed with ambergris his upper lip lnno-
cent of hirsute adornment, his cheek chal-
cedonic, aye, adamantine; his look trucu-
lent saturnine and demoniacal, indlcatory
of wassails and orgies, informed q senile,
hypochondriacal attorney from Waterloo
that he did not pronounce according TO the
standard dictionary.
air of research, ''in your tuesdays adj
dress you said that the sight of cerements,
or of a lethargic cadaver, or OF swarthy
native of Natal, afflicted with locomotor
ataxia. paresiS, diphtheria or the epizootic
disease sufficed to inundate your eyes; that
salamander treated for obesity with
hydrangea tea and anchovy sauce would
not be combative; that during a discourse
to a concourse of youths eleven sacrilegiouS
dwarfs made grimaces at an aged man sit
ting on three-legged stool; that one of
these supple fellows carrying under his
arm a copy of The Arundel Motto and
works ON palmistry, zoology and genealogy.
being rebuked, looked rather contrite, but
he Immediately frescOed coadiutor' S
Elizabethan collar with apricot marmalade;
l4ldl you OHCS IGSQ VI d
albeit of great acumen and discernment
sick with varioloid and purulent eczema,
for which he permitted a iocund gynecolo-
gist, after incising his jugular vein with a
scapel of Stalactite, to inject iodine and
fetid syrup with a syringe of a decorative
design, q malpractice suit being the result !;
that during drought a virago, a py-
thoness, is combatable with only ephem-
eral success. BY the way you have a
dictionary
Dictionary" replied the lawyer, s'pugh!
it is the granary from which the pronun-
citation fiend fills his commissariat with phil
ologic and orthoepic romances and vagarieS
that grow into fetichism, which finds ex-
preston in a supercilious ostentation of
eruGste vacuity.
Nothing daunted, the young man contin-
ued: You said, according to precedent it
was obligatory Upon the aspirant to plat
his hair his nonlad parents had done.
and precedent to going up the hymeneal
was waiting, INDUCED in fulsome praise Of
himself. hoping thereby to induce comedy
girl and notable housewife to join him.
But she, being averSe to undergoing an
ordeal so irrefragably embarrassing, per-
emptoriy demanded his removal. His fea-
lures. for minute. became immobie with
surprise, after the subsistence of which he
exclaimed: j have had presentiment of
this. If, on inquiry, find that that aero
ally or accessory, has been writing distichs
to you. viii make him grovel abjectly in
the dust and force him TO Jump off an
Alpine glacier This is a verbatim quota
ton. You sometimes consult a dictionary
stYourg man.. retorted the lawyer, mis-
auufline nose quivering with derisive puis-
sance. TO illustrate the inconsistency Of q