The Virginia enterprise., 1898-09-16

eyes are expressive, but their muscles
/ merely perform the work necessary to
proper, Recommendation; they do not
mug" like; the plebian of the cheap
| the apathy of the oyerworked country
/ woman. -: - - =.gr
| 1t is worth while for one to. pay atten-
tlon to these tritling matters y'i 1t cer-
| tainly is. Refinement and good breeding
are worth while for their own sakes.
They may be triaing in themselves, but
| they contribute so greatly to the charm
OF social intercourse no one who enjoys
or wishes to enjoy the best sociai! life can
afford to ignore them. <
- Sympathetic Com !
Many wife complains that her hus-
band does not take her about, that she
| only sees him at meals, or that he makes
friendships in which she has no part She
| blames him for neglecting her, and thinks
herself ill-used. Yet he is only following
the natural instinct of humanity in seek
ing for sympathetic companionship; the
fault really is hers. If her conversation
does not interest him sufficiently to hold
him, she should study him and the sub
Jects that he cares for, and try to live to
his standard. She has once, had his love
and sympathy; if she has not kept it, it
is she who is to blame for not striving
to care for the things which occupy and
| interest him. 4.-t. -. -. =, :.
A man, to be won and kept, must first
be attracted, and then made to feel that
he has found sympathy which draws
him out, and makes him talk about what
interests him most. 1t is not enough ia
make him listen whilst he is being talked
to. For time, that may keep him, but
he will tire of always being listener.
OF always giving his sympathy and re-.
celving none. To hold man, a woman
must understand and study him; she
must not be exactine. for to expect too
much only makes him feel that he wants
to give less. She must realize that men
are almost always selfish, inera
Sc, not from any innate deprayity of their
sex, but merely from the modern condi-
tions of life which have moulded them. !
"A man usually goes out into the world
young, he leads separate existence at
BY her home circle, When his work is
done, if he has any, he has only to think.
"',What shall do today that will give me
the most pleasure?''j That men act more
and more ON this principle is shown bv
the way they now treat their ordinary So
cial engagements; the way they will break
one when another more attractive offers
moment whether or no they will 20 to
such and such a party. Can any one
wonder that many years of indulgence in
| this, coupled with larger command Of
money than their sisters, should make
them more selfish, should end by fixing
the habit Of. thinking of their own plea s
ure 50 7 firmly in IN: their minds that it is
powered for a time by strong affection.
| and all the counter-inf1uences Of courtship
| and early matrimony. But later. when
these have ceased to be novelties, and {
man settles down to q regular married
| life, the old selfish habit Of years reas-
serts itself, and his wife is inclined to
blame him for changing towards her. :I
This is unjust, for he is no more to be
blamed for the habits which have been
acquired from his circumstances and en-
vlronments than he is to be held response
BILE for those qualities which he inherits
| from his progenit0rs. It is better for the
woman who lives with him, and whose
happiness is bound up with his own, to
recognize this fact, and, in studying his
tendencies, to take her measures accord
ingly. :. : ~.
"A woman, on the contrary, is trained in
| different school. When her brother, is
! out in the world earning his living, or, at
any rate, leading a separate existence, she
is usually at home with other members
OF the household, whom she has always
mems, however trivial, have to be made made.
only think, ':What can we do today
which will interest or amuse us?'' She
cannot go about much alone, and often
her means are too limited to allow Of
much Independent action. Having thus
she is daily trained in habits of yielding
to others and of unselfisbly giving up her
will and pleasure to them. Thus he in
his bachelor days is daily trained to sell
hshness, she. in her spinsterhood, is equal
~ brought up to unselfishness. The soon
er a woman recognizes this fundamental
difference between tho; acquired natures
! to be attractive to them, and the better
chance she will have of lasting happiness.
Philadelphia Times. -. - r. ! MI
! Garden Parties-Rea1 and Ideal.
The laws which govern the fate of So
cial entertainment sometimes appear III
eXplica BILE. Why is it that @ late supper
in a stuffy room is sometimes the most
agreeable of events, when a garden party,
with tea and champagne cup served un-
der outrageous trees is often the most
though, in theory, the garden party is an
almost ideal form of fete, in reality it is
only too often stiff and cheerless. One
OF the reasons, indeed, is not far to seek
The hostess is not in touch with her
guests. Wandering aimlessly about Il
lawn her friends are beyond the reach Of
her influence, and she cannot manipulate
| the diverse elements of her party as the
born hostess must if she aspires to breyet
rank. They enter, shake hands, murmur
something agreea BILE, and disappear down
garden paths for the rest of the afternoon,
! vague, errant shadows, condemned to
wander about q: lawn and gaze pensively
at flower beds from 4 o'clock till Z. *;z{ u =,
Charm of Daintiness. 2 3s
Daintiness is, a most attractive quality
! in both girl and woman. This is often
an inherited gift, but may, be cultivated
1t shows itself ,oftener in earliest childhood
in the care which even some of the small
est children show for their apparel and