Evening star., 1898-12-24

his wife to pick out his own Christmas
gift also manages to extract lot Of airy
| humor out of the process.
That's the loveliest smoking Jacket
| ever saw for $780," exclaimed a young
woman who had her husband along at one
| of the mems furnishings stores. And I'm
| just going to buy it for you, too
| But can't afford to blow in that much
| on a smoking jacket" he replied. Il saw
| some swell walking sticks up the street a
| while ago for 50 cents. That's about my
| limits. How about buying me one of them?'
| But you're not 'affordng' anything, you
| know" she replied, with a sweet smile.
It's me. you know. I'm buying you pres
'Oh. yes!' he answered, light coming in
to his eyes, Il forgot. Well, you can get
the Jacket. then. Here's the money"
Christmas Dreaming.
The conversation of a husband Of large,
ample nature with his decidedly non-grasp.
| ing little wife was overheard outside of one
of the big windows few evenings ago.
Now, I'll tell you. Judy he said, what
| I'd like to get you for Christmas If WIS
| anything but a hoodoo of a government
| clerk First, that $3.50 embroidered New
| market coat that We saw TOWN la street
| you'd look like four-time winner in it;
| and diamond sunburst; and pup-seal-
| skin sacque; and marquise ring of dia-
| monds and rubies; and set of Russian
| sables, made for the czarina by mistake;
and little white marble chateau up on the
| St Lawrence river; and"
Wake up, Jim,' said the little woman,
| merriy. You know all l want is that
sos chased silver bracelet we were looking
| at last night"
"Wen, let me dream on, anyhow" he
| said. with a grin.
Don't you suppose 1 know that you
| would get me all those other things if you
| could?" she asked him, and they went on
| playing their childish game of "choosings."
| "A young naval officer, just returned to his
Washington home after three-years'
cruise. had his married sister and her three
| young children, couple OF boys and
| girl, along with him on a buying trip
| few afternoons ago. He certainly was a
| good thing for the young ones. He took
! them up to the toy department of one of
| the stores and told them to wade in and
| pick out what they liked, and he'd try and
| make some arrangement with Santa Claus
| whereby they'd get them If they were good.
| The young ones did not waste any time in
| accepting the invitation, and within ten
| minutes they had broken about 81 worth
| of toys into smithereens. when their good
| natured uncle called them off He paid for
| dismantled shape, to couple of big-eyed
| pickaninnies who were clinging to the
| skirts of an old colored woman at the toy
| counter.
| II can see Santa Claus finish when he
visits your young ones,'' tine young sailor
said to his sister. They'll break him."
| The MethodicaI Man.
| The methodical man who makes spe-
| cialty OF sending one sort of present to all
| OF his male and female relatives was seen
| In considerable numbers, practically buy
| Ing things by the gross. One of them al
| most cleaned out the whole display of mill
| tary hair brushes in big store, and then
| no proceeded to the Women's glove counter
| and proceeded to keep a salesWoman busy
| for the better part Of an hour picking out
! the sizes and styles of gloves that he had
carefully tabled out in his memorandum
| book.
A rough but clean-looking man, with
bronzed face and big hairy paws, walked
| INTO JeWelry store a few mornings ago
| and stood behind party of ladies who
! were examining a magnificent set of solid
| silver toilet articles, arranged in a hand
some case.
"Of course. they are all very beautiful"
| said one of the ladies. but $50 seems such
dreadful price. 1 certainly cannot afford
| to get present so expensive for any one"
| Then the lady happened to look behind
| her and she noticed the rough-looking man.
She regarded him with some suspicion,
clutched her ample-looking pocket book
! tighter in her hand, and. exchanging
| glances with her women friends, as much
| as to warn them to beware of having their
| pockets picked. moved somewhat further
away along the counter.
He Had the Money.
The rough-looking man beckoned to the
clerk, who also had a somewhat careful
| and suspicious eye in his head, and asked,
pointing to the caseful Of toilet articles:
How much for the bunch?'
"One hundred and fifty dollars" replied
the clerk, not with a great deal of anima-
| ton.
rs that all?" asked the roueh-Iookfnp
man with some surprise. That's dead easy
That bunch O tin things'll be about me old
mothers size All right; they're mine 1
man proceeded to tell the surprised and
somewhat doubling clerk where he wanted
the case shipped. The man reached into
his trousers pocket pulled out a bundle of
money about the size of a bunch of as
paragus and calmly peeled three fifties
therefrom. The clerks eyes stuck out a
! bit at this.
'Times are pretty good with you, eh?"
| he said to his odd customer
Tolable,' replied the man. with no trace
OF enjoyment over the sensation he had
made with the clerk and with the erstwhile
suspicious women who were looking on and
taking 1t all in. Times is generally purity
good In the navy, and 1 just got paid off
| last week. DOM sober stunt and blowin'
sloughn' it off on BOOZE"
When he walked out, why. it's queer we
| couldn't see that he looks and walks like a
sailor!" said the women who had suspic-
iously drawn away from him.
AT the Christmas-card counter of one of
tne dig stores young chap who looked
IKE III clerk walked up. incurred the price
mir In a fancy box, was told by the sales
woman that the price was s. and calmly
dug up the amount mot improbably a
weeks pay and carried the thing away
with him. At the same time man in a
| long sealskin overcoat and with diamond
| rings and studs and the general appearance
OF millionaire was buying at the same
counter half dozen tiny Christmas cards
| that cost exactly three cents apiece.
Carrying a Handicap.
The Christmas shopping man with the jag
was also on hand in plenteous numbers One
OF them. with a large, amiable smile
wreathing his holiday features, made his
way up to a fine display of expensive sofa
pillows at one of the department stores
shortly before closing-up time the other
night.
Want some sofa pillows" said he to the
somewhat frightened-looking young woman
in charge of the assortment
Well said the saleswoman, I'VE have
some In velour and some in silk and
Don't make any difference what kind
| they are, just gimme en- said the man ex-
pansively. M wife's been working on one
dinky sofa pillow ever since we were mar
| ried. more'n three years ago. and she'll new