The times., 1898-11-01
FRANCE AND ENGLAND.
Mr. Dooiey EIucIdates Their Colonial
Policy.
lFrom the Chicacn .InnrnaIA

from the Chicago JournaL)
'lh' Fr-rinca,' said Mr.. Dooley, "ar-re a
tumulehuse people"
''Loike as not said Mr.. Hennessy. there's
some iv our blood in thin. good NANNY iy
our people wint over wanst They cudden't alive
been kilt at Fontenoy''
NO." said Mr.. Dooley. "'tis another kind iy
tumulchuse. Whin an Irishman RACES Ills with
wan idee in his mind. He's goin' for ard again
single inimy, an not stone walls or irae
chains'H stop him. He may pause Fr a dhrink
or TO take 1 shy a polisman-fr poIisman's
always in tn way-but he's as rhrue a. IN
needle in III camel's eye. as Hogan saws. to III
obiec' iv his hathred- So he's been rr four
hundred years, an 50 he'll always be while
they'se an England tn map. whin England
purrishes tn Irisa'Il die iv what Hogan calls
ongwee, which is havin' no wan in the weary
wurruld We don't love.
But with tn Fr-rinch. tits dif'rent / say
It's dif'rent with III Fr-rinch. They're an on
aisy an thFubtled people. They start out down
III sthreet. loaded up with ohscenthe an Gig
areeis, PAWN blocks an walkin' sthicks an
shtoye lids in Jheir hands, erwin. 4 base Capt
Dhryfuss,' III cap bein' far of in a cage. By
dad. So far SO good y base Capt Dhrytuss,'
says !, an the same to al thraitcrs, an nanny
" Thin, whether they ar-re or not" But along
comes with poor hat Where did he
get III hatE demands tn mob. Down with tn
bad tile- they say. a base tn lid' An they
des;hroy tn hat, an the undher it sue
cunhs to tn rule iv III majority an iines tn
mob. ON they 60 till they come TO 4 restaurant.
'Ha" says they, TN resort iv tn infamous Du-
close His char-rges ARE high says wan I
found fshbone in his soup says another. Hes
thrlitor,' says a third. A base III soup
kitchen, base tn caie. SAYS they, an they
seize tn unfortunate Duclose an bate him an
upset his kettles " broth. Manetime, where's
Capt Dhryfuss? of in his comfortable cage.
swinging on III perch an, atm seed out "
small bottle stuck in tn wire. BE tn time III
mob has destroyed what they on tn way
they've frgot III cap intirely, an he's safe rr
another day.
e 'Tis untlrch'nit, but It's thrue. Tn Fr-rinch
ARE not steady ayether in their politics their
morals That's where they get done be tn hated
British. III dii'rence in furriu' policies is the
diff renee between a second-r1te slfe-hower an
A first-class booneo steeTeT. tn Fr-riuch buy a
ton " dinnymite, spind foive years in dhrillin
a hole through a steel dure, blow open tn
safe, lose leg or arm, an get away with
III li'bilities iv tn firm Til English dhTess
up fr Methodist preacher, stick piece iv lead
pipe in tn tails iv their coat in case iv emar-
gcucy. an get all tn money there is in tn line.
I'm tn front dure comes tn Enslishman with
a coon king ayether arm that's jus loaned
| him their kingdoms on a prum'ssory note, an
discovers tn Fr-rinchman emaIgin' frim tn rooms
iv tn safe. What ar-re We dom hereT says the
Engiishmsn. Robin tn naygurs,' says tn
Fr-rinehman. being thruthful as well as polite
4
We doin' hcre?' says the Fr-rinchman. Improvin'
tn morals iv tn Inhabitants says tn English
man. is il not so. RaStus?' he says. 1t is
says wan iv tn kings. I'm a poorer but a
betther man since We came he says Yes says
| tn Englishman, I propose fr to thruly rayfoFn'
this unhappy counthry,' he says. This benightel
haythen en- me exthreme left has been inlooced
| to cut out good dale iv his wife's business.
he says AN go through life torminted he on'y
wan spouse, he says. Th' r-reSt will go 10
| wurruk f'r me- he says All crap games bein
particular ongcdly'n be undher tn con-thTol "
tn governmint, which, he says is me. Policy
shops'n be r-run carefully. an I've appinted Ras
tus here Writer-in-w waitin' to Her Majesty he
saws. Tn r-rum they dhrink in these par-rts
he says, is fearful he says. What shall we ID
to stop tn ae-cursed thr1fic? Sell thin gin,
/ says l. lis lntN 90 Nht "AtA
nawthin' to hide their nakodness.' he says I'll
fetch thin clothes. but. he says. as tn weather.
| too warrum FIR clothes, I'll not sell thin amy
thing that'u last long, he says II it wasn't
fr religion he says. 4 don't know what tn
| ell tn wurruld wud come to- he says. Who!
relligion?' says tn Fr-rinehman. MY religion,
SAYS tn Englishman. These pore, benighted saw
idges' he says, II not be left TO ye'er odiiow
morals an ye'or hootchy- -kootchy school i'
thought he says, but, he says, 'undher III
binif cint r-rule iv a wise an thrue governmint,
he says, IN be thurly prepared fr hivin.' hi
SAYS, 'whin their time comes 10 GO, he says
which | thrust will not be long he says. so
I'll thank We to be off, he says, or I'll taN'
tn thick end v the slungshOt to ye, he slys'
.'Th' Fr-rinchman is br-rave man. an he
stay an have it out on tn aure, but some wal
calls: "A base tn Chinuyman,' an of he Goe
10 another thrack An whin he gets TO tn thIn
nyman he finds tn English We abased thin al
ready. An so he dances firm wan par-rt " IN
wurruld to another like rioehous an happ
flea. an divvle III bit iv progress he makes
on'y thrubble fr others an merry life rr him
SILT"