The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1898-03-19
He wrote his first poem at seven;

pie left In the pantry There Is one
piece, but you can't have It," You are
mistaken, ma, I've had it.'-cleveland
Plain Dealer.
We've got to aconomlze," said Nj.
Gargoyle to his wife. very well, DEAR
replied the good woman, cheerfnlly.
.Yon shave yourself and I'll cut your
hair."-Harlem Life.
she-Did you see that bird of para
disc on Mrs. Styles hat at the theater
last night? He-That wasn't what the
fellow who sat behind her called IT.
Yonkers Statesman.
Mrs. Passay-Eyerybody says my
daughter got her beauty from me.
What do you say to thatf Mr.. Wits
Well, think 1t was very unkind of her
to take It from you.-Up to Date.
zone 'er de troubles bout dishere
life" said Uncle Eben, us dat by de
time a man hab n reallzln' sense dat he
orter learn sumpin', he feels like he's
TOO old ter staht in" -Washington Star.
Mr.. Flgg-"Happy Is the country that
has no hlstoryn-do you understan1
that, Tommy? TOMMY guess 1t
means the kids are happy, cause they
don't have to study it-Indlanapolis
Journal
Bostonlan-Is this friend that you
wish to bring to dinner much OF
raconteur? Chicago Man-Bla med II
know; but, say, you'll die laughin' II we
10 tal1ffn@ cfO -ffInVn1 nd
Leader
Wlllls-Parker's salary was doubled
n short time ago, SO hear. Wallace
Yes, II was; but it got him IN lots of
trouble. Willls-How's that? Wal
lace-HIs wife found 1t out.-Town
Topics.
Hungry Higglns-What do you think
o this here football. anyway? Weary
Watkins-There Is something in 1t call
ell rush line, amt theyi ''Yaas."
WELT that amt my line. "-IndianapO-
lis Journal.
Deacon Hamby-We're going TO have
reformed prizefighter talk ut the tenn
perance meeting Thursday night The
Deacon's Son-How Is 1t possible that
he can be reformed If he still talksf-
Chicago News.
Il get tired writing jokes lay after
day" said the amateur hnmo"ist.
Don't you care" repl ed his friend CON
sollngly. "Think how tired the people
are who read them."-Philaielph
North American.
Il asked the young woman I'm front
Of me to remove her big hat. so could
see the stage" "Did she do lt?' no;
she said II she held her hat in her lap
she couldn't see the stage herself. =
Chicago Record
sometimes" said Uncle Eben 'dar
wouldn't be so mnch objection ID
man habbin' his own opinion ef he
ildn,e persist In goin' aroun' an tryin'
ter glib ebberybody else clear title to
t,"-Washington Star.
Great men," remarked the thought
full youth, ARE frequently misunder-
stood by the public" That" replied
Senator Sorghum. grayely. us very
. true. And mighty lucky It Is for some
Of then" Washington Star.
Jay Green (sourly)-If them people
don't do different about 1t, blamed IL
Ill go to the party tomorrow night.
Josh Medders-What do you want 'em
TO do In order to get you to go? jay
Green--Invite me.-Boston Traveller.
You mean to tell me that you don't
think football ought to be sup
I,,aK
MANNED and killed in the game" 1T
doesn't MAIN and Kill anybody except
football players. Cincinnati En-
qulrer.
Il won't submit TO being turned
away" said the disappointed arrival
at the hotel. IS here-Tm fiush." And
he displayed roll of bills. Il know"
responded the clerk; but I've got a
full house. philadelphia North Amer
lean.
Old Gentleman officiating indignant
fetter)-"Slr: My stenographer. being
a lady, cannot take down what think
Of you. |, being gentleman, cannot
think II; but you, being neither, can
easily guess my thoughts. Brooklyn
Life.
Different Point of vlew.-"Well,
what's the use Of arguingY'. said the
shiftless individual: talk is cheap"
"My dear SIR" said the taxpayer, did
you never take into consideration the
actual cost OF a session of Congress?'
Chicago News.
Willie Smith was playing with the
Jones boys. His mother called him.
willie, don't you know those are bad
boys for you to play WITH Eyes,
mother" said Willie. Il know that. but
then am good boy for them TO play
wlth."-Household Words.
Il never knew" remarked the casual
reader, what poets mean by the spell
of Imagination until to-day" ''How
did you find out?' Happened to no
tice how some of the dialect writers
Imagine words are pronounced in Ger.
tain parts of the country. Washing
ton star.
Farmer Hayrlck tdlstressedly)-
Wotcher wanter git divorce fer. Man.
DIV? Han't allus treated yer right
His Wife (dlscontentedly)-Th yer
hey, Silas, an stan willln' ter give n
recommend. but, yer see, It's this way,
] wanter be like other peopie.-New
York Journal.
Show us a man who has malaria, and
we viii show you n man who eats too
nreb