Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1898-01-06

vile Journal.
She-"Why is 1t called the silver
moony" He-"Because 1t comes IN
halves and quarters. suppose.
cago News.
-Spendley-"Well, II my
money should go, dearest, you'd still
have me-! Mrs. Spendley-"Don't you
be too sure about that."-Puck.
Walter-"Did Uncle Jack see Santa
Claus last night" Carelyn-'T guess
so. They say he saw almost every
thing one could imagine. yellow
Book.
What Kept Him.-"What kept you in
the South so longT II was trying to
negotiate n raise" what, money!"
mo, quarantine. "-Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
"He told me to get off the earth.
What do you suppose he meantT "He.
seemed to think that you needed
bath, ently."-Lousvill Courier
Journal
you may fetter my body" he shout
ed, ''but my mind will wear no chain"
In other words, the wheel In his head
was of the '0S ern.-Indianapol
Journal.
Sloper las Miss Eastlake, his intend,
ed, finishes solo)-"What a voice.
Duncan (who has been rejected by Miss
Eastlake)-"Yes, what a voicer-Har-
lem Life.
Matilda-"Havey you spoken to papa?'
Bertie-"Yes; asked him through the
telephone and he answers: Il don't
know who you are, but it's all right"
--Pick-Me-Up.
Raggs-"Say, do you believe that
story of the goose laying the golden
egg" Jaggs-"Well, 1t would be just
like goose to do such foolish thing"
Chicago News.
Not Necessarily Waller-"So Bilker
rents that forty -dollar-a-month house
of yours, does he? He pays too much
rent" Landlord (sighing)-"Youd don't
know him."-Puck.
A north of England paper says: eve
have adopted the eight-hour system In
this office. We commence work at
o'clock in the morning and close at s
in the evening."-Tit-Bi
Bride = Counting your change,
George? 1t has been an expensive
trip, hasn't it?" George-"That's right.
1t looks as IL this honeymoon would
soon be on its last quarter.
"She has great deal of curiosity"
remarked Willie Washington. YES"
replied Miss Cayenne; 1T is something
extraordinary. She even opens some
OF the fancy covered magazines to see
what is inside!'-Washingto Star.
Mrs. G.-"My dear, when will you
learn to take your hat off in the eleva-
tor when your are with mer' Mr.. g.
when you learn to take yours off in
the theater when you are with me, my
dear."-Cincinnati Commercial Trib-
une.
rs he novelist?" asked one young
woman, as she picked up photograph.
mo, indeed" replied the other, with
enthusiasm. Hes no novelist; he's
a story writer. You can understand
and enjoy everything he does. Wash
ington Star.
II am told" remarked Miss Cayenne.
"that you said some very clever things
last evening"" "Yes,' replied Willie
Washington; at is very dscouraging."
What isT "The surprised manner In
which everybody is talking about it,
Washington Star.
A Slight Inversion.-''Th is some
mistake" said the returned Klondiker,
as he crawled from the box car, about
the fabulous amount Of gold in Alaska.
AS to there being an amount of fabu-
lous gold--well, that Is different. Gin
cinnati Enquirer.
Have you completed your plan for
Fastening the business of the United
States Senator" Partly" replied the
newly elected Senator. II have pre-
pared a speech on the subject which
4. will take me three days to deliver
Washington Star.
Bill Yale-"That man Williams never
lost his head in football game yet,
did hep Jim Cornell-"No, / think
not. He's lost an ear, part of his nose,
eight teeth-but l do not remember
ever hearing of him losing his head
Yonkers Statesman.
Bill-"Where've you beenw Jill
''Down to the Doctors" "I'll bet he
told you to go South" mo, didn't
go to consult him! l went to collect n
bill" "Oh, well, in that case 1t was
probably not the South where he told
you to go."-Yonkers Statesman.
Uncle George-"So you think Mr..
Caxton is literary manY' CARRIE
"Oh, I'm sure of 1t. When he wants.
to- find anything in a book he wastes
half an hour hunting for 1t before he
thinks to look at the index."--Boston.
Transcript.
Admiration.-"Do, you consider the
electoral college a desirable institu-
tionY' inquired the man whose mind
n on the nation. WELL" remarked the /,
nervous friend, Il can't help admiring
it for the fact that never heard of an
electoral college yelL"-Washington
Star.
Kitchen Chats-"Ever notice." asked
the stove, "what modest creature the.
clock tsp Referring. presume"
said the wood-box, to her holding her
hands before her faeey' "why, no.
not SO much that as to her habit OF
running herself acknowledgement
a. q d.