Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1898-08-16
HIGH TONED HOTELS.
NO MORE OF THEM FOR YOUR UNCLE
JAKE BOGGLES.

He Tried One In New York, and, Although
1t Was Not on the Bowery, He'll Never
Go There Any More-The Story of a
Bath.
Uncle Jake Boggles has got back to
Cranberry Corners from a recent visit to
the metropolis, and when any one asks
him how he enjoyed his trip to New York
he shakes his head and gloomily responds:
mot any too well, thank ye."
One thing that worried Uncle Jake con-
siderably, it seems, was the style they put
on at the hotel he patronized while in the
city.
"In the first place., " said Boggles when
telling the story, ''the Teller behind tho
desk-owner of the hotel, l reckon, by the
way he acted-wuz bound to hev me sign
my name in a book"
NO, ye don't, seq I, I've seen that
game played before, an We don't git no
chance to out my name out an fill in d 30
days note above it. Not this trip, thank
YEP
"Waal, he seen 1t want no use arguin,
so he put the name down hisseIf an then
called a young Teller in a uniform to take
me up to my room. Fust thing he lone
wuz to try to git my valise away from me,
but I hung on to it with one hand an hit
him a cuff alongside of the head with the
other, an he quit his little game an tend
ed to business in a hurry. He tried next
to get me into one of these here mantraps
that they yank up to the roof an then drop
sorter accidentally an kill ten or a dozen
people at onct. But SEE l, Il druther walk
an be on the safe side, thank ye,' an I
made him go ahead an show me the way
while l tromped along behind him up IA
pair of stairs to my room.
when we got there, he throwed open
the doors an showed me one room about
as slick as l ever seen, with a bureau an
fancy bed in it, an another room connect
ing with it, all rugged up with a marble
wash dish all a marble bin big enough to
hold a ton of coal alongside of it.
"'What's that fer?' SEE l.
"'Seein it's a bathtub, I reckon it's in
tended to take a bath in. What dye think
it's fer?' SEE he sassy as We please.
"Waal, after he had gone an left me
thinks l, b'gosh, I'll have a swim, seem it
hain't goin to cost anything extra. l gem
er'lly go swinmin in the crick when I'm
home, but thought I'd like to try the
New York style of bathin jest fer a change.
So l shucked off my clothes an got into
the bathtub an turned one of the thinga-
maji-s, an I'm blamed If a lot Of b'ilin
water didn't squirt out an nearly scald the
hide Off my legs, an then l grabbed an
other an gave it a yank, an the cold water
begun to pour down from overhead like a
reg lar cataract an about drownded me be-
l could climb out of the bathtub. l
to turn the gasted thing off, but only
made 1t squirt faster, an by the time I got
my shirt an pants on an hunted up the
boss Of the hotel an told him to send up
some one to shut off the old w%aterworks the
room wuz flooded. An then, after all
went through, bein scalded in the fust
place an half drownded afterward an about
scarf to death besides, what
I've s'pose they wanted me to do?"
Dunno. What was it?" inquired one
the crowd.
Wanted me to pay a big bill fer dam
sges done by the water, but l SEE, Not a
lum cent, b'gosh!' an / collared my yalise
IN got out an hunted up a place where
he cockroaches ct at the same table with
he other boarders IN nobody cared a con-
mental whether We ever washed or not an
'verything wuz plain an CONFERENCE.-The,
a Teller could git aroun without put
in his foot in it, SO to speak, or turnin
COMPOUNDED continuance loose that
'e didn't know how to turn off ag'in.
"They that care fer these fancy hotels,
With their wash dishes an bathtubs an
waterworks an other highfalutin
lxin's, kin 60 ahead an patronize 'em If !
hey want to, but / don't banker fer any {
more style of that kind. |
"a common, everyday hotel, with an c
Id fashioned bed, in a room 10 feet square,
n a tin washbasin. with a couple Of
.uarts of water in a pitcher an a hunk Of
aller soap alongside Of it, is plenty good
nough for me, thank ye."-WM S. Gid q
BY in New York Truth. \