Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1898-08-24

"Geel I'll bet it's corkerr'-puck
Willy-Say, pa, what's aoatn,
debt? Pa-Our yacht, my son-Chtcago
News.
1.-THE only trouble with my profes.
sion," said an ex-convict, sis that # {.
apt to be rather combining one,"-Ro
Ear.
she-Why do they call the State pep,.
Tertiary Sing Sing? He-Because of thu
jail birds therein, l guess.-Corna,
Widow.
Hewitt-How did you queer yourself
with that French girl? Jewitt-I asked
her to dance the german with me-
Judge.
Governess-D-a-m -dam, a thing 10
keep back water. Young pupil-WheD
papa says 1t, mamma always cries.
London Sketch.
The father-What proof have Won
that you can support my daughter? The
aspirant-Haven't l been engaged to
her for over a year Puck.
Borrowing Is disease" said Big.
bee, In self-Justification. And lending
s insanity" replied Small, Significantly,
Philadelphia North American.
"Why, Julia, how the waist of your
frock smells Of tar." Yes, mamma,
poor Mr. Ratlines of the Naval Re-
serves has been bidding me good-by
again. cleveland Plain Dealer.
Ella-Where was 1t George proposed
to you last week? Essie-At hop. Ella
And you accepted him? Essie-At
jump.-New Orleans Times Democrat
81 see that glass bricks are coming
into general use," said the popular sci.
ence boarder. "They won't invade the
gold-brick field" said the cheerful idiot;
they are too easily seen through
indianapolis Journal.
Haven't told you" asked the faith
er, ito always tell the TRUTH" "Yes
you told me that" the young man ad
mitted, land at another time you told
me never to become the slave Of hab
lt."-Washington Star.
Harty-Good many years since we've
seen each other, Jack; remember how
we used to live from hand TO mouth IN
college? Jack-Yes, that's still the case
with me. Harty-How SO? Jack-l'm
a dentist.-Boston Courier.
He Wondering If that Williams has
ever been accepted)-Are both your
rings heirlooms? She (concealing the
hand)-Oh, dear, yes! One has been In
the family since the time of ALFRED,
but the other Is newer and (blushing)
only dates from the conquest.-Harlem
Life.
MY Wife" said the tall, lantern jawed
man, rs as womanly a woman as you
could find; but she can hammer nails
ike lightning" wonderful" sang the
chorus. Lightning" the tall, lantern
jawed man continued, seldom strikes
twice in the same place. Cincinnati
Enquirer.
what excuse, If 1t were possible 30
nave any excuse for such conduct, have
you for beating your wife?' asked the
Judge. "She flung 1t in my face that
didn't care a rap for her." pleaded the
prisoner, and l just gave her one 10
show her her error. "-Indianapo
Journal.
Teacher (of Juvenile class)-Johnnie,
what was the first thing the Puritans
lid when they landed at Plymouth
Rock? Johnnie-They fell upon their
knees. Teacher-Thats right, JOHNNIE
Now, Tommy, what was the next thing
they did? Tommy-Fell upon the abor'
.gines.- Chicago News.
Mrs. Young-I dreamt last night that
mother was coming to stay with me for
4 month. Mr.. Young-Ah! dear me-
1reams always go by contraries. MIS-
Young-And l also dreamt that you
said l couldn't have a new dress. MI
Young-H'm. funny, Isn't it, how true
some dreams come ?-Pick- Me-Up.
That" exclaimed the Spanish gener'
Il, as he mopped the perspira ton from
his brow, rs one Of the narr0west
eSCdpeS L ndfc Hdu lOI sOulc tiAnN'
What Is the matter?" inquired his ald'
See this typewriter page? said III
1ictation that l was seeking light, anu
the amanuensis got 1t seeking fight
Washington Star.
my fortune Is nader he cried. i
will be rich beyond the widest dreams
Of avarice. l shall start for the hlon'
dixie tomorrow My chemistry wall pe
my salvation" How 50; have you us
covered compound that will AID IN une
detection of gold Deposits NO.
have invented a yeast that VIII MAKE
six loaves of bread from the -four orulh
arily required for one. "-Up-to-Date'
Widower-I say, my dear friend, nave
you ever been here beforef Burglar
N-no, sir. Widower-Well, would you
mind coming around quite often-say
once or twice week-and going
through my trousers, just as you are az
ing now? You don't know how muel
you remind me Of my dear depar'eu
wife, AngelIne. 1t seems almost as