davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-03-10

Six pretty girls act as ushers in a
Trenton, New Jersey, church, and pass
the plate besides. Presently there will
be excursion trains to and from that
establishment, and the congregation
will get so rich that it will pass most
of its time in the pleasing work OF
cutting its coupons. Yet there are
still churches that insist on silence on
the part of the better half Of their
members. however much the money
they command may be able to talk.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-03-10
VIII Hear Mock Trial.

Judge Richard S. Tuthill will pre-
side at a mock breach of promise case
in the Peoples Institute on Saturday
evening, Nov. ~. Frank Walter will
appear for the plaintiff and George w.
Plummer for the defendant. The en-
tertainment will be for the benefit Of
the Second Regiment, West Side Boys
Brigade
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-03-10

The clergyman who, q few Sundays
ago, whipped out q cheese-knife from
behind his pulpit and brandished 1t he.
fore his throat, and another who dur.
ing his sermon weighted a balloon with
a whisky bottle, may have convinced
their congregation that drink is both
suicidal and debasing, but they seem to
have forgotten the rule of rhetoric that
such SMILES burlesque both the subject
and object. Eccentric and yellow"
methods, whether in speech. or journ-
alism, or social life, may enforce OF
tention and excite comments, but are
meretricious in character and Of doubt
full utility.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-03-10
In n Bad Way.

At the recent banquet of the New
Haven chamber of commerce, Govern
or Cooke denied the old story that
Connecticut once flooded the market
with wooden nutmegs. IF we are not
mistaken" says the New Haven Reg
lister, this is the first time any Off
cial attempt has been made to relieve
the state of this undesirable reputa-
ton, and If it is properly followed up
will doubtless assume the proportions
of a public SERVICE"
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-03-10

Many a little pile carefully saved by
industry and economy is going to be
lost in Alaskan ventures next spring,
in the hope Of having it doubled or
trebled or quintupled. We advise all
who think of going into such ventures
first to ask the advice of somebody
who is disinterested and who knows
something about them. And II they
can't get any light on the subject it is
very easy for those about to invest to
take Punch's advice to those about Ia
marry-don't.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-03-10

Mrs. M, a well-known Bcstonian,
well, once asked Prof. Blackenstein
what made him SO thoughtful.
Madam he replied, II am wonder
ing how it is you can make the piano
talk SO divinely and you yourself sc
foolishly
"Ah, WE'LL" retorted Mrs. M
you see, the piano knows it has me-
to listen to it, whereas l know l have
only you to listen to me, which make:
the difference"
Il pray you," said the professor
play again. | like your playing best.
brooklyn Life.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-03-10
Novel italian Couch.

Professor Mosso, the Italian physi-
ologist, constructed a couch SO ar
ranged that 1t could be accurately bal
ianced in the middle, when the slight
'est change of weight would make
either end incline. A man was laid
upon it, balanced in a horizontal posi-
ition. AS he went to sleep his head rose
and his feet sank. As he awoke the
opposite occurred, proving that the
blood left the head in the one condi.
tion and returned to it in the other.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-03-10
A Great ''FInd.D

"A Great Find"
Manager-"Have you ever appeared
upon the stage?"
Fair Applicant-"No."
Manager-"What qualifications do
you think 0 possess for a successful
career before the footlights?"
Fair Applicant-"I have just Sc
cured from the secretary of the navy
an invitation to christen the next bat
tleship; but I am quite certain that he
intends to let some other girl do it,"
Manager-"Good! Well have a play
written especially for you"
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-03-10
Questionable Compliment

Voealist-The audience doesn't seem
to appreciate my efforts. Pianist
Well, don't be discouraged. l can get
you an audience of over 200 persons.
who will gladly give UP $40 each to
hear you sing. Vocalist-For goodness
sake, where? Pianist-At the asylum
for the deaf and dumb.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-03-10
Madman's Queer Idea.

Edward Shauer, Of Greenville, O.,
has been taken to the insane asylum
at Dayton. When taken before the
Judge for trial Shauer told the court
that Sen. Foraker ha dsplit his head
open and turned his brain around, and
he wanted to know II it could not be
fixed.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-03-10

1t is not regarded as quite manly for
a large, strong, rich man to seize a
small, weak, poor man by the throat,
and compel him to pay on the spot for
an act which the big man declares has
injured him. Perhaps what is not
high minded in an individual is praise
worthy in a government. Nevertile-
less Germany's virtual bullying OF
Hayti does not seem altogether admir-
able,
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-03-10
Nuggets In the Corn.

While grinding western corn Charles
Wainwright, a Toms River, N. j., mill
er, saw that something was wrong with
the rollers. He investigated and found
a nugget of gold worth $1S. 1t had
come in the corn, but where from is,
of course, not known.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-03-10
In the Wrong Order.

HE was married and went cracy,"
she said, referring to a statement in a
morning paper.
"Granting that he had any sense in
the first place." he returned, you must
have got the statement reversed"
"How do you meanT" she demanded.
"He went crazy and married. makes
it seem more plausible" he answered.
OF course, he had already planned to
spend the evening elsewhere or he
wouldn't have dared to say it.-Chicago
Tribune.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-03-10

For some time the Baltimore & Ohio
South Western Railway company has
been experimenting with crude oil for
kindling fires In locomotives, in place of
using cord wood, and the results obtained
have been so satisfactory that it will here
after be used on the whole line.
During the month of November, 1897,
at the company's shops, which are To-
Gated at Washington, Ind, N Chilli
Gothic, Ohio, 1926 fires were started with
crude oil, at a cost Of ST. 81, or la cents
per fire. To have started the same num-
Der of fires with wood the cost would
nave been $306. or 24.96 cents per fire.
This represents a saving Of $685. s, and is
very satisfactory.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-03-10
ONB ENJOYS

ON0 A<OO4S
Both the method and results when
Syrup of Figs is taken; it is pleasant
and refreshing to the taste, and acts
gently yet promptly on the Kidneys,
Liver and Bowels, cleanses the sys-
tenn effectually. dispels colds, head.
aches and fevers and cures habitual
constipation. Syrup of Figs is the
only remedy of it's kind ever pro-
duced, pleasing to the taste and &C
ceptable to the stomach, prompt in
its action and truly beneficial in it's
effects, prepared only from the most
healthy and agreeable substances, its
many excellent qualities commend it
to all and have made it the most
popular remedy known.
Syrup of Figs is for sale in 80
cent bottles by all leading drug.
gists. Any reliable druggist who
may not have it on hand will pro-
cure it promptly for any one who
wishes to try it. Do not accept any
substitute.
CALIFORNIA N syrup CO.
SAN FRANCISCO. CAL.
LOUISVILLE. Ky. NEW YORK, N.Y.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-03-10
Surpasseth All Understanding.

~Surpasseth All Understanding.
Jones-Your friend Wright is Of a
literary turn, is he not?
Smith-Yes, but that's as far as il
goes.
Jones-Why, l was under the i'm.
preston that he had written some
very good poetry. :
Smith-You must be mistaken. All
his poems are published in the maya
zines,
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-03-10
Luck Was Against Him.

Beck-"What became of that charm
ing little north side widow you used
to rave SO much about?"
Peck-"Oh, she's married now"
Beck-"That's too bad; but you al
ways were unlucky with your love af,
fairs"
Peck-"Yes, decidedly So"
Beck-''By the way, whom did she
marry?"
Peck-"Me."
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-03-10

lot as by nature established. The
prime reason why bread must be so
dear, and flesh and blood so cheap, Is
that the ratio of exchange between the
two has been fixed in the constitution
of the earth, much to the disadvan-
tage Of the latter. When it is written
that God cursed the ground and bade
it be unfruitful, bringing forth briers
and thorns, that man should only eat
his bread with a dripping brow, the
Scripture does not exceed the truth OF
the unceasing and ever-painful strug-
gle for existence. Taking 1t by and
large, it is a hard, cold, and cruel
world, in which little is to be got ex-
cept by toll and anguish; and of that
little not all can be kept by any de-
gree of care and pains. There are, in
deed, regions where the earth spon-
%taneously brings forth fruit enough
for a small population, and where a
moderate effort will largely increase
that product, while the climate is so
benign that life is easily protected
from exposure. But these are not the
6AS "AOAC LII CfCl has, VI ECCAlo
ingly ever can, become a noble being;
and even here, in the midst of tropi-
cal plenty, the serpent stings; the IT,
ger prowls at night around the vii
lage; the earthquake and the tornado
work their frightful mischief; chol-
era and malaria kill their millions;
while every few years gaunt famine
stalks over the land, leaving 1t cum-
bered with corpses. Throughout all
the regions inhabited by our own race
life Is a terribly close and grinding
struggle. From four to seven months
the earth lies locked up in frost, and
its wretched Inhabitants cover over
the scanty fire and try to outlast the
winter. When summer opens it is to
a harsh soil that the peasant resorts
to win the means, scanty at the best,
of barely preserving life. Sterility is
the rule among the soils of earth,
mountain and plain alike. The ex-
ceptions are a comparatively few fer
tile valleys in which are concentrated
the productive essences of nature. The
literature Of primitive peoples is ever
telling the story Of this ~unceasing
wrestle with the hard conditions OF
existence, and the same dreary tale
Is repeated down to our own day.
Alcman the Greek calls spring "the
season of short fare; and less than
forty years ago the Irish peasant
| spoke of 1.-The starving season" which
Immediately preceded the harvest oil
the year. If, then, you complain oil
poverty, make your complaint manful.
ly and squarely against the Maker OF
the earth, for poverty is largely his
work. The socialist is simply dishon'
est when he charges human misery
upon society. Society has done vastly
more to relieve misery than to Gre
ate 1t,
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-03-10

A bird In the bush is worth ten in
the hat, Is the new motto suggested to
the Audubon society.

The yellow journal that predicted
the destruction of the world by a sun
spot should be severely punished. The
Millerites ought to have a monopoly
of these frightful disappointments.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-03-10

Stern Parent-So you wish to marry
my daughter, Ell? How are you fixed
financially? ]
Young Mani haven't much cash,
but | have expectations.
Stern Parent-Yes, of course; but in
case | should live longer than you ex-
pect, how are you going to support
her?
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-03-10

The tenderness of the heart OF the
Reverend Mr.. Howell of Monticello,
N. Y, is manifested by the fact that he
beat his wife because the lady drove
his pet cat out of the house, and spent
1--we days in Jail for It.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-03-10
Ethel Decision.

Ethel Is years old)-Mamma, If l get
big and marry, will l get a husband
like papa? Mamma (smiling)-Yes,
dear. Ethel-And will l then be a wife
like you? Mamma-Yes, dear. Ethel
latter a long, sad pause)-I believe I'll
be good and die young.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-03-10
Sammy's Logic.

Sammy's Logic.
Sammy Snaggs," asked the teacher,
what part of speech is the word
'malediction?'"
Noun" replied Sammy.
What gender?"
Masculine gender"
~'Indeed?"
"Yes'm. If it was feminine it would
be 'femalediction. "-Pittsburg Chron-
icle.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-03-10

Clara (excited)-Well, papa, did the
count ask you for me today? MI. Mil
lyuns-Ask M for you! Nav! He told
me If l wanted to put up margins
enough he'd talk business.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-03-10
Winning His Good VIII.

why were you so anxious to :,e
pleasant to that man? One would
think you were under some great oh.
legation to him"
He is my dentist and l EXPECT "a
have a tooth filled tomorrow" .
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-03-10
The Barnum Giraffe Dead.

The Barnum giraffe broke its neck
on board ship while the circus was on
its way to England. This leaves only
one of the animals IN captivity. 1t
was valued at SO, 900. -
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-03-10

THkeN IOF NrHHteU.
"Tell me, Rafferty," said Mr.. Dolan,
sis Clancy still a walkin' delegate"
mo-" vas the reply.
Are you sure?"
mot iv me personal knowledge. But
OF take 1t fur granted he's roidin' in a
hack be this time."-Washington Star.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-03-10
To BE Paid In Sixty Yea re-.

TO BE THIU III sixty Years.
An aged English woman had an or
der made against her to pay a debt
of 5000 by installments of 25 cents per
month. 1t would thus take sixty-siy
years to pay off the debt.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-03-10
To Be Considered.

Where re you going to take that
dog, my boy?"
II dunno. l wants ter find out fust
where the dogs goin' ter take me-"
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-03-10

Among those who are the most
richly endowed by nature, and accom-
plished by their own industry, how few
there are whose virtues are not OBJ
scured by the ignorance, prejudice or
envy of their beholders! Some men
cannot discern between a noble and
a mean action. Others are apt to at
tribute them to some false end or in
tention; others purposely misrepresent
and put a wrong Interpretation upon
III and still others take an lima
tured pleasure in crossing our incli-
nations and disappointing us in what
our hearts are most set upon.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-03-10
Among Dear Friends.

Belief never saw such a girl Of
Bette; she can't keep a thing 10 her.
self"
Beulah-'I guess you never saw her
when she had a box of caramels."-
Yonkers Statesman.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-03-10

Red Is not Objectionable as a color
for a woman's hair providing 1t doesn't
run into her temperament
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-03-10

Prophecies of ideal social conditions
have not yet included rubber tires for
the wheels of legislation, but such a
provision would be quite as practicable
as some devices to make every one
c%ontented. The trouble is that each
philosopher would insist on the use of
his particular kind of tire.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-03-10
OUR BUDGET OF FUN.
SOME GOOD JOKES, ORIGINAL
AND SELECTED.
A Chance for q Touch-A Point to he
Considered Witty Bostonian-
Sammy's Logic-Grcat Find-W Winning
His Good Will.
Resting Easily.

lister JONES wuz
very sick
They sent fer Doc
tor Brown.
Smartes' man ter
pull i'm thro'
N all the town..
Mister Jones did not
improve
Fer Doctor Smith
they went.
Who said that OF
Browns t e a t.
ment
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-03-10

HE Causes of Pow
erty" is the sub
ject of a paper by
the late Francis A.
Walker in the Cen
fury. Gen. Walker
y In the first
l should
without hesitation,
say t h easily
chief among the
causes of poverty
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-03-10

Hoods Sarsaparilla
Absolutely cures scrofula,
Salt rheum,
Dyspepsia, rheumatism,
Catarrh and all diseases
Originating in or promoted
By impure blood. It is
The great nerve tonic,
Stomach regulator and
Strength builder.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-03-10

Money talks. Perhaps that's why they
put a woman's head on the silver dollar.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-03-10

Mrs. Winslow's Soothing syrup
For children ~teething,~ softens the gums. reduces infianA.
nation. allays pain. cures wind collie. % cents q bottle
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-03-10

Wasn't worth a cent.
Then mother doctor came;
Fer Mister Jones grew worse;
Next week he out riding went
In a hearSe. Jan.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-03-10

1t gives the National guard and state
troops of each state.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-03-10

Age may not be %garrulous, but 1t 3
sure to tell on a woman in the course
of time.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-03-10

1t gives all foreign consuls to the United
States.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-03-10
CAUSES OF POVERTY.
HARD CONDITION ESTABLISH
ED BY NATURE.

It IL o Hard, Cold, and Cruel World. In
which Little Is to he Got Except by
Toll and Angulsh-This Earth . Sort
of ~Purgatory. u
The Madison daily leader. [volume] (Madison, S.D.) 1890-current, 1898-03-29
REPORT OF THE COURT.

Text of the Findings of the Maine Board
Of Inquiry.
The following is Il full text of the re
port OF the court of inquiry:
United States steamship Iowa. lst rate.
Key West, Fla, Monday, March 81,
1898.
After full and mature consideration
Of all the testimony before it, the court
finds as follows:
l.. That the United States battleship
Maine arrived in the harbor of Havana,
Cuba, on the Goth day of January, 1898,
and was taken to buoy No. 4, in from
five and a half to six fathoms of water,
by the regular government pilot.
The United States consul general at
Havana had notified the authorities at
that place, che previous evening, of
the intended arrival Of the Maine.
2. The state of discipline ON board
the Maine was excellent and all orders
and regulations in regard to the care
and safety of the ship were strictly car.
ried out.
All ammunition was slowed away in
accordance with instructions. and
proper care was taken whenever am.
munition was handled.
Nothing was slowed in any one of
the magazines or shell rooms which
was not permitted to be slowed there.
The magazines and shell rooms Were
always locked after having been
The Madison daily leader. [volume] (Madison, S.D.) 1890-current, 1898-03-29

caused the partial explosion of two or
more of her forward magazines; and,
that no evidence has been obtainable
fixing the responsibility for the de-
struction of the Maine upon any per.
son or persons.
l have directed that the finding of
the court of inquiry and the views of
this government thereon be commun.
icated to the government of her mai.
esty, the queen, and l do not permit
myself to doubt that the sense Of jus.
tice OF the Spanish nation will dictate
q course of action suggested by honor
and the friendly relations of the two
governments.
1t was the duty of the executive to
advise the congress of the result, and
In the meantime deliberate considera.
ton is invoked.
[Signed] WILLIAM MCKINLEY.
Executive Mansion, March 70, 1898.
The presidents message was referred
without debate to the committee on
foreign affairs, under the rules. No
motion was made. Immediately after
the announcement of Representative
Slmpklns' death, the house at 1928 p.
NJ, adjourned.
The session of the senate was similar
to that OF the house. The message was
read almost immediately after devo.
tional exercises.
AT the conclusion of the reading Sen.
ator Davis moved that the message of
the president, the findings of the court
OF inquiry and the testimony taken be.
fore the court be referred to the com.
mittee on foreign relations and ordered
printed. 1t was so ordered.
Senator Lodge introduced a resolu.
ton that 1900 additional copies of the
message. findings and testimony be
printed for use Of the senate. The res.
olution was agreed to.
The Madison daily leader. [volume] (Madison, S.D.) 1890-current, 1898-03-29

ally given by the boats Of the Spanish
cruiser Alphonso MI and the Ward
line steamer City Of Washington,
which lay not far distant. The
wounded We're generously cared for by
the authorities of Havana, the hospit-
sis. being freely opened to them, while
the earliest recovered bodies of the
dead We're inferred by the municipality
in a public cemetery in the city. Trib.
ties Of grief and sympathy were Of
fered from all official quarters Of the
island.
The appalling calamity fell upod the
people of III country with crushing
force, and for a brief time an intense
excitement prevailed, which, in a com.
munity less just and self. controlled
than ours, might have led to hasty acts
III resentment. This spirit, however,
The Madison daily leader. [volume] (Madison, S.D.) 1890-current, 1898-03-29
ancc OF the wrCck?"

anca OF the wrcck9"
Either from such reports or IL.
tions which you believe to exist Nv, ~, coadl
''The impression produced
replied the witness. sis that an 'p"h me- 4
took place well to the port of tha ,%AAplosiod
line, and ut II point in the lenn,h h'dshi1
opposite the coming tower. -" abou1
Witness, in reply o further ou,y,;
said his opinion was based upon tI'onY
%scrvation of things above water. H tae OH
no weight to Mr.. Morgan's ne gavd
about falling into II hole on tho ,ra"eelnen)
because Morgan might have hrp"a a' Sldc|
taken about it. Referring to hin miI
made of things on the Maine noted
Powclson said that the arc OF tho Inslgd
room telegraph and the shaft Of y 'nsin(
gear coming down through tho Nv Steei
tube (turrct) was bent from port ",'n're1
board. The port side of tho 20 Slal
deck was covered with a pr,,sr r.'''ctc1
the starboard side being comm, "'p'sitI
free from it. 'N"1
The forward smoke pipe, betty con
main ana s,,H"rstructurc decks. ,ih 'n9
show signs y the internal rrcs,"hql
gases. On the main deck forward Hre
coming tower, where the fore NV, 'hS
angle bulb beam was located m. "l'e1
ing w.s blown of on the only rcna rahki
plate of the main deck ON ,Lr NAa
side, while the wood wa. P'ro
attached to that part 81, NlY
starboard side between the comm. 'Ad
base and the turrcts. What wi,nn ""e4
would indicate that the pressur, NV
the protective deck up on the nor, "'sY
and the protective deck on the s,nrhs sue
side hcld fast and bent that deck dn"'
ward. Witness here exhibj,u, "NA1
sketches to tho court showing diarron"S
various parts Of the sunkcn shin ,na
planned them to the court.
The witness evidence about III,
on the starboard side Of the outsid, :, "
ing of the ship which was folded r"J
rolled back was recalled to him and LILY
clson said he could see plate undcrna,.l
it was bent outward as he could ., i, ]
it was only two feet under water ut J
the shear occurred. ~