The herald., 1898-10-27
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.
The Joke in Its
Political Aspect
Q . . . . . . ooooooo
BY AOGABOOM

It has been said, l will not attempt here
to say by whom, that there can be no alli-
ance, offensive, defensive or barbed-wire-
fencive, between England and these United
States, because the people of neither coun
try can understand or appreciate the jokes
OF the other country, and because great
amount of confusion and misunderstanding
would result from that fact.
1t is well that the question has been
raised at this time. Otherwise it might not
have been raised until some other time.
1t can readily be seen that in the event
of such an alliance great hardship would be
worked upon the vast numbers OF people
who depend upon the joke crop and its hand
ling as "a sole means of livelihood, not only
in this country, but in England as well.
Should it become suddenly necessary to
make each and every Joke reversible, ana
put in patent, double-back-action, two-rev-
olution appliances, in order to meet the new
requirements, the joke industry, would, IN,
deed, receive severe blow. Nobody will
deny that.
But are we not too readily taking it for
granted that a joke cannot be so constructed
as to meet the requirements of both coun-
tries at one and the same time, and without
too much expense and labor! Let us see..
The English joke is peculiar, to say the
least. Its foundation and superstructure
are laid with infinite care and close atten-
ton to detail. 1t is intended to last. 1t is
built to outlive the ages; to withstand the
aspect is solid and solemn and awe-inspiring.
But the nub of the English joke--ah! !!
there is the trouble. To find the nub OF the
English joke one must proceed cautiously.
1t cannot be rushed upon in the dark and
grasped with ease and dispatch. 1t must be
approached gradually and made to feel at at
home; else it will escape altogether and defy
pursuit and capture. 1t is coy and reluctant,
and ill at ease in the presence OF strangers
and soon falls victim to that tired feeling.
No uniform rule can be laid down to cover
all cases, of course, but there is one way to
proceed in opening an English joke that has
been found fairly successful. First remove
the back by unscrewing the plates which
hold the works in place. Press down the
lever to the left of the pistongear until she
is over the center: then open the chest
head valves, reverse'th ash pan, test the air
brakes, and ii she holds good, let her flicker
shes all right: -.
an English joke 1t will not explode or be
discharged prematurely. Barring a tendency
to hang fire or flash in the pan, it is thor
oughly reliable. =,
But the English joke cannot be depended
upon to hold its edge. You can sometimes
chase the point of an English joke all oyer
a ten-acre lot and not get within hailing
taken the joke apart and examined it in de-
tall and reversed it, and held it upside
down, and wrong end to, and made the
wheels 90 round the other way, and wound
up the alarm, and done everything else. you
can think Of it's ten to one that the thing
won't go off, after ALL
Like the memory of dream, it seems to
linger gently in the air; to be all about
YOU and still just beyond your reach. You
feel that it is there and you pursue it, but
ii retreats before you, and glides out Of
sight and out of reach. 1t is intangible and
fades away like the morning mist, just when
YOU think you have got the blamed thing
in corner.
But let us turn now to the home joke; our
native product. What shall | say of the
Joke that is raised right here at home? We
become so familiar with it that we some
times neglect to consider it's features. 1t is
the open-faced. stem-winding, stem-settng
Joke, that goes off with a hair trigger and
carries a mile. 1t doesn't ~equre skilled
mechanic to set it up, and a. boy can work
it. The parts are apt to get worn with con
stant usage, and it sometimes gets to run
ming wobhly. but it keeps right on going.
am reliably informed that when Chaun-
cey NJ. Depew goes over to London he al
ways has his Jokes taken right from the
depot to the Office of Punch, and that they
are sent down to Punch's joke foundry and
made over under the personal supervision
of member of the Punch staff, until they
can hardly be told from the genuine Eng
ish article. Sometimes they have to be
fitted out with new works throughout.
This gives me an idea Could we not have
established, say in New York or London,
"A sort of public joke yard, under govern
ment control, where the jokes from either
country could be placed in the dry dock and
the barnaces removed, and they be remod-
eled, under the direction of skilled mechan.
ics to make them conform to the tastes of
either country? The idea is worth consider
ing, anyway The difficulties to an alliance,
especially an offensive one, would then, in
measure, be removed.