Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1898-02-08
FRENCH MARRIAGES.
MATRlMoNY THE GREAT OBJECT TO
ALL GIRLS OF FRANCE.

! Customs In This Particular Have Changed
Radicaily-At the Present Time the Per
sonaI Inclinations OF Young Women Are
| Considered.
Miss Anna l.. Bicknell is an English
lady who has had most unusual oppor-
tuni,ies for studying French life For a
number of years she was governess in
1 the household Of Napoleon III and re-
/ sided in the Tuileries. For The Century
Miss Bicknell has written an article on
French Wives and Mothers. I" Miss
1 Bicknell says:
/ The old marriage de convenance, which
caused so much sorrow and consequent
evil in former days, when girl was
taken out Of convent 10 be shown the
man to whom she was about TO be mar
ried, is now thing of the past. II must
/ be acknowledged, however, that mar
riages are still made up. often too has
,ily and specifically, by nicely balanced
/ family arrangements and by the inter
/ vention of friends. Nevertheless, attrac-
/ tion and repuision are now taken into
| consideration, and a girl Is no longer
I forced to marry man whom she posi-
lively dislikes could quote instances
in the very lighest (historicall aristoc-
I racv where, at the last moment, after
the trOussoau had been sent IN (marked,
according To custom. with the united
| initial letters of the two names elabo-
rately embroiderod) and all the social
preparations made. the marriage was
broken off because the bride had de-
clared tha; she could not 'get accus-
toned" to the bridegroom nor endure
the idea Of seeing his face in her home
during her natural life, In one Of these
instances the family lamentations over
the initials # the troussoau were really
amusing. Fortunately substitute was
soon found whose name, like that Of the
rejected suitor. began with an y, and
the complications Were thus happily
settled
The great object Of the French girls
life is marriage From the time Of her
birth her parcnts have prepared for this
event, and in many cases they have con-
siderably straitened their income and
curtailed their enjoyments TO make mp
her dot. Every girl i'll every class is ex-
I pcCied 20 have something. Those who
have nothing are exceptions and consti-
tute minority O! old maids. The girls
who from choice do not marry generally
become nuns. usually much against the
wishes Of their parents. The old tales
| Of young women being forced into con-
| vents 20 improve the position II their
brothers are forgotten III these days.
when, while no child can on any pre-
tense be- deprived Of a share in the IA
ther's inheritance, monaStic vows are
not recognized by law. Nuns and spin
sters are exceptions; marriage Is the
| rule
/ When girl is of age to be- introduced
/ into society, her friends and relatives
Immediately look out for suitable hus-
band. whom II is considered highly de-
/ sirable To obtain Lefore she has reached
the age Of sl, that she may not be pro-
/ claimed file majeure when the banns
are published. The principal considera-
tions are equality Of birth, Of position,
I Of fortune. and in the last particular
the scale Is usually expected TO weigh
rather more ON the side Of the young
lady. especially If the young man. in
addition 10 sufficient present advantages,
can bring forward anumber OF relatives
not likely TO live long. This is called
/ having hopes (des esperances-beaucoup
d d'esperancesl. II the young lady with a
substantial DO, can also show satisfac-
| tory background Of invalid uncles and
aunts. then everything is as il should
be. and the young people are brought
together with every prospect Of favor
able conclusion. IL happens. however,
| too often that they do not know each
other sufficiently. and that they are per
suaded 10 believe that the mutual liking
| is greater than II really l.. Sometimes
this sort Of underlined attraction zip rs
into deep aud devoted l,yc When
| this occurs, there are no uUro affection
ate wives or more faithful widows than
Frenchwomen.
More frequently. especially in the
| higher classes, a sort of cool iriendlinesS
/ springs up, where they see but little Of
each other, and freedom Il enjoyed on
both sides The authority of the hus-
band is less felt than in all English
household There is sort of under
standing that III her home the wife Is
queen and settles matters as she pleases.
But their best aud warmest feelings
are awakened by all that concerns their
children French parents are perhaps
the most affectionate i'll the world. The
interests and welfare Of their children
are their first consideration, and won
| derful sacrifices Of their own pleasure
aud enjoyment are made in favor of
their sons and daughters by the most
worldly men and women. These are
taken as "a matter of course; 10 one
thinks Of doing otherwise or Of seeing
any merit III such acts.
The mothers especially are unequal
ed. Nothing will stand III the way Of \
Frenchwoman where her children's in
terests are concerned. This love is so
engrossing that il swallows up every
other They are more mothers than
wives. and if called upon TO choose be-
tween allowing a husband to go alone
ON foreign mission or leaving their
children they would not hesitate "Mes
enfants ayant tout.