The times., 1898-08-07
PEOPLE I'VE LAUGHED AT.
memorfe. of Contemporary Players.


Memories of Contemporary Players.
Sometimes frankness is a virtue and
some times 1t is an accident. Strange as
it may seem the class to which candor
belongs has a very marked effect upon
its results. The frankness that is a yir-
tue is generally unpleasant for the person
criticised-the frankness that is an ac-
cident makes no one half so uncomforta-
BILE as the critic.
If one reads the dramatic papers care
fully nowadays he cannot help know
ing that "A Bachelors Honeymoon" clos
ed its season last May in Washington.
For some reason or other the farce was
only put on for a three nights run and
every effort was made 10 have that brief
engagement profitable. The first per-
formance here occurred on a Thursday
night and each of the local writer's who
attended was introduced TO the manager
and the author. From the latter person
age he learned that from the time the
company had left Hoyt's Theater there
had not been losing date and by the
former he was taught the full value of
the play. When he left the influences of
both it was with the purpose OF buying
several bottles of anti-fat in order to Off
set the effect of a long perdiod of hearty
| laughter.
Strange as ii may seem. the entertain
ment lacked strongly in that it did not
entertain. Probably never before or since
was there penned such a hopeless con-
| giomeration OF stolen trash The audi
ence sat around the house giving excel
| lent limitations Of first nourners at a fu-
| neral and enjoyed nothing 50 much as
| the closing overture. The critics left
| with the one idea in view Of saying about
| the piece what II deserved. l had hardly
reached my office. however when the bell
on the phone rang and a boy who had
answered ii informed me that / was the
| person wanted. Upon responding I rec
| ognized the voice of a friend whom had
seen that night at the ,taeater. After a
seconds conversation the trend of talk
turned 10 the farce and asked my opinion
of 1t. N5hereupon 1 launched forth Bit
terly ana expressed the confident kppw1
edge that never before had SO wretched
a sample of mundane idAocy been pawned
of on the misplaced confidence of an un-
suspecting public. Finally breath gave
out AMI 1 stopped. Then a yoice-not the
voice OF ny friend but that of the play j
author-remarked blandly, We'll, you're
the first critic who has said So
"Ah." l replied, that goes to show
that most writers have more politeness
than honesty But there is in my bosom
still lingering hope that l may some
day get even with the man who called
me up and then handed the receiver tc
John Stapleton-
Only short time before that incident
E. II. Sothern came to the Lafayette anC
produced The Lady of Lyons" Hi!
reading Of the piece did not satisfy me
and / said so through these columns
Upon the day that the remarks were pub
lished an assistant went TO the hotel a
which Mr. Sothern was stopping, and sen
up his card, requesting an interview
Within three minutes the bellboy re
turned with a message scrawled on tn
back of the pasteboard The gentleman
was deeply sorry. but he had not as ye
recovered from the effect of our criticism
and was, a result, quite unfit to Sc
anyone. Which was where Mr.. Sotherl
got even.
And this reminds me of an inciden
concerning Saharet, the dancer, VIII
came here in a glow of success and Rice
, ! French Maid" The same dramati
! | writer had called upon her for an inter
| view and had been astonished at learn
| ing that she did not think American au
| diences at all enthusiastic. She relate
how she was frequently cheered and 6p
: plauded in London, and wound UP by re
r marking that the "Johnnies" there ofte
2 came around to the stage door and beg
S ged the privilege of kissing her slipper
( | And she offered to grant the caller tha
e | courtesy. He ungratefully refused an
: treated the incident in a more or less IN
+ complimentary way upon reviewing
later. Time passed on and the organiza
ton left town. And then there cam
s through the mails one day a neatly wraI
: ped box, and in it was packed a tin
s foot of crystallized sugar. Tucked u
e inside of this was a note-"Eat this
t will be good for your disposition
e Perhaps the least pleasant thing in tt
It world that can happen to a man is
s | have to sit and appropriate for himse
s a terrific hauling over the Goals origina
| ly intended for some one else. On sue
an occasion it is quite impossible for II
| victim to make the slightest defens
and, on the whole, the wisest thing l
can possibly do is to remain quiet wit
a martyr-like smile on his face and
piece of brick in his hand. After he hi
finished using the smile he can go o,
| into some sequestered street and thro
/ stones at himself.
Clara Morris last appearance in vaud
vile could hardly be said to have been
magnificent success. Miss Morris is ge
| ting a trifie passe and. while she is st
a delightful woman, she has ceased to
% a good actress Worst of all, on this o
casion she was seriously hampered by Il
possession OF one Of Kenneth Lee
sketches, a one-act tragedy entftl,
| Blind Justice" All of this and a lit
more I wrote on the Friday before 81
left and sent down to the composir
Then I dropped around to call on u
| lady and pay my respects.
She was not in the best of humo7
Some Philadelphia critic had not be
- at all chary In offering their opinion
her work and she was not pleased ov
II. The knights of the pen from u
Quaker City were given rather war
~ volume of adjectives and anything
the vocabulary that happened to be
| once lady-like and uncomplimentary Al
er a few minutes of this was constrai
ly ! ed to ask what the gentlemen had sal
of | In return she handed me clipping wi
~ | the request that I perrse and give
ed | opinion of the contents and their autht
| The ideas expressed were my own alme
word for word. Nearly every line W
es | identical in thought with Those had VT
at | ten, and which were already PRINTED Z
,ir yond recall
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