The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1898-06-08
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

"Papa?" ''Well?" Chow tall is
the man who is above criticismg"-
Judge.
'Do you think that stimulants would
hurt me, doctor?" "Not if you leave
them alone. Detroit Free Press.
Jack-'I want to marry my OPP
posite." Maud don't know of any
girl bright enough to suit you"
Judge.
'Baffled!" muttered the great de-
tective. He threw his wife's dress to
the floor and strobe gloomily from the
room. Judge.
Foreman of Torrent Engine Com
pany gazing at the smoking ruins, but
speaking cheerfully)-"Well, boys,
we saved the engine!"-Puck.
She-"Love is like sea sickness"
He-"Why?" She-"Because you
can have it awfully and yet can't de-
scribe it. t."-Detroit Free Press.
Jasper--''The say that Hustler
made a fortune in the Klondike.
Jumpuppe--"Y Eyes; he carried fools up
there and carried wise men back. -
Puck.
Mrs. b. -"The lady Dabbs is going
to marry is highly intellectual. She
speaks three languages" Mr.. B.
(condolingly)-"Poor Dabbs. "-Bos-
ton Traveller.
EEDo,a oot q ,,oy,e,,I Iap,nar so;J
jamie. 81 tried t. sand-paper my
pencil on his chin while he was takin'
nap, an he woke up an got real mad
about it. Judge.
A Quaker once, hearing person tell
how much he felt for friend who
needed assistance, drily observed:
Friend, hast thou felt in thy pocket
for him ?" Tit Bits.
"Ain't little bow-legged?" asked
the dubious young man. Bow
legged?" said his tailor. '"The idea
Your lower limbs, sir, are absolutely
without parallel. indianapolis
Journal.
"Well," said the adiuster as he set
down his valise, 81 investigated that
Wigglesworth death claim" "How
about it?" asked the president of the
company. Straight as die. "-Iu-
dianapolis Journal.
Dumlow-"Tell Closefist | want to
speak with him, will you?" Bogstow
q don't want to disturb him now"
Dumlow-"Why not?" Bogstow-
Hes counting money, and shouldn't
care to interrupt him at his devotions.
-Roxbury Gazette.
"My son wants me 20 buy him
trolley line, and think he would make
n lawyer. In the one case he would
cut people up, and in the other merely
pull their legs. What would you sug-
gest?" ''I'd make doctor out of him.
Then he can do both. Puck.
High Priced Doctor-"You are now
convalescent and all you need is exer-
else. You should walk ten, twenty,
thirty miles day, sir; but your walk.
ing should have an object" Patient
-"All right doctor. I'll ltravel around
trying to borrow enough to pay your
bill. Standard.
He Wondering if that Williams has
ever been accepted )-"Are both your
rings heirlooms?" She (concealing
the hand )-"Oh, dear, yesl One has
been in the family since the time OF
Alfred, but the other is newer and
(blushingl only dates from the con-
quest. Harlem Life.
Mistress "Why, Bridget, you sure.
ly don't consider these windows
washed?" Bridget" "Sure, washed
'em nicely on the inside, mum, so ye
can look out; but l intentionally lift
thin little dirty on the outside so
thin aignorant Jones children mkt
door couldn't look in Truth.
Dinguss-"Old man, you've accom-.
modated me great many times, and
1 wouldn't strike you now il itwasn't
a matter of absolute need. I'm suf.
fering fer the lack of $40" Shadbolt
reluctantly handing it over )-"Whals
the trouble, Dinguss?" Dinguss-
MY VIE mas BoI ner hearb seI Oh
'9S wheel, and ] need the so to make
the first payment on it"--Chicago
Tribune.
He desperately y)-"Tell me the
truth. Is it not my poverty that stands
between us?" She sadly -"Y-e-s."
He with ray of hope)-'T admit
that / am poor, and so, unfortunately,
is my father; but | have an aged uncle
who is very rich, and II bachelor. He
is an invalid aud cannot long survive"
She -"How kind and thoughtful you
are Will you introduce me to him."