The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1898-06-16
THRILLED WITH KNOWLEDGE.
Here Is One Poor Young Man Who
Did Not Know How Wise the
Girls Are Nowadays.

The amount of information that a
girl seems to feel is necessary for her
well being nowadays is astonishing.
What was enough for her mother is
altogether unequal to her notions OF
required erudition. From the present
progress and strides of her studies she
intends 20 make it warm for all men,
young or old, whose education has been
even in the least particle neglected.
The up-to-date girl of 1898 is too well
bred to force opportunities to obtrude
her learning on persons with whom
she is conversing. She is to all APP
pearances INDUCING her wits to their
greatest extent during such times; even
while he is stating the tritest of self
apparent facts she is politely staring il
wonder at his kindergarten data and
sc;ence-she is amazed at the manner in
which he remembers the occurrences
in history which stand out like the rock
Of Gibraltar, and no one not afflicted
with aphasia could be unacquainted
with.
She listens to all this and lots more
with a demure awestricken air, but
my. how she is taking notes. How she
is mentally playing havoc with his high
sounding pronunciamentos. How dis
| mayed he would be if he could only see
into what a tattered, woebegone frag-
mento his bundle of information has
been dessicated. If he could guess for
| 4 moment what pity he is awakening he
would settle his business affairs and 90
| TO the wilds of Elkhart and live her
nit ever after. But still though know
| ing that young women are educating
themselves to the boiling point every
| day, man. foolish man, will go on talk
| ing of comets, German philosophy.
| Swinburne and the influence of art, and
| the rise OF Neoplatonism and things
about which he knows nothing when by
a little thought, in turning the CONVEX
sation on the broiliug of beefsteak, he
| might throw the whole chances of vic
tory on his side.
But, strange as it may appear. there
! are some young men who not only do
not talk about household duties, where
| they might have some little chance of
| superiority, but they actually have the
| madness and folly to make light of the
twentieth century girls intellectual ac-
quirements.
There is d certain self-sufficient north
side young fellow of this description
who is acquainted with three very high
ly educated young ladies. He often
| finds them together, but this is not nee
essary. He is completely outclassed by
any one of them. They can tel! when
Lord Napier invented logarithms, why
| he did it and where the world would be
to-day if he haG not done it. And after
| this they can do an astronomical calcu-
| iation by this branch of mathematics
| that makes him dizzier than rum punch.
| He is such d vain young fellow that he
cannot or will not see this, and instead
| of meeting them in open ground and
| putting knowledge against knowledge
| he INDUCES in what he fondly imagines
| is a sarcastic vein, and jeers al what he
| has not the intellect to understand. But
| he tried this once too often. A few
| days ago they decided that Just for a
lesson they would turn mis- own tactics
| against him.
They had just that week entered upon
| the study of advanced zoology. He
dropped in upon them one afternoon
while they were thus engaged. Instead
| OF trying to store his brain little he
| began Immediately to pooh-pooh the
| thing. H. wondered audibly whether
frozen Goldfish had anchylcsed joints
CT lightning rod for a backbone. FL
nally, after lot of Prescriptions of this
kind, he said laughingly that he wanted
to bring them some geological speci-
mems. He inquired which they d have,
an elephant or an ant eater. At first
| they did not deign to notice this OBJ
servation. Then he insisted that he Just
must bring something. Finally an idea
| seemed to strike one of the girls. She
| whispered to the others. Then she
| looked up and said: well, there IS
Just one specimen you might bring.
You might bring horse"
1t only cost him seven dollars, but
then he's not a Chicago