The Dawson news. (Dawson, Ga.) 1889-current, 1898-06-15
ALKALI IKE And HIS TOWN.
AN INTERESTING NARRATIVE OF
AMUSEMENT IN THE WEST.
of Tar Trimmed With Hen Hair.
Other DiYersions.

other Diversions.
"Don't know whether I'd enjoy it or
not, " replied Alkali Ike, in response to
the query of the guieless tourist, who
was rapidly accumulating an interesting
mass of INSTRUMENTATION which he intend
ed incorporating in a lengthy manuscript
to be read upon his return to Massachu
sets before the Back Bay Society for the
dissemination of Useless knowledge.
"Hain't never tasted it. l don't go
much on these here fancy French drinks,
anyhow; most of 'em is heap too weak
and piudlin' for grown man.
"Pardon me, but golf is not bever-
age, - saide the tourist politely, at is a
game"
I'd m Say it lisp reckon that's boss
on me, answered Isaac, magnanimous-
". Jaw, wa, man can't be expected
to know everything. Golf? Believe I've
read suthin' about it; it's that thar walk
around, whurin the players rig up like
circus clowns and go peroosin' across
tie scenery chasn' a little ball with
crooked stick. Eh-yah! I hain't never
INDUCED in no golf; hain't tibet kind o,
a man.
But, my dear sir, it is great favor
lite IN the east the reigniug fad, in
fact"
Il hain't seem ~ pungent reason
why it shouldn't be; them people iu The
east shore INDUCES in some mighty
quaint and fantastic freaks in the name
of sport I'm sangune it's due to the
way they are raised, or mebbe il is in the
air. They gifts relaxation out Of pursoo
in OF a frenzied bag Of anlseed across
the face OF nature, or playing long ten,
nyeOn Or hurliu htJle sacks of beans at
each other, But out here in the west We
hain'J that badly dried out yet Course
we have our TelaXat0ns, but we don't
indulge in no homypathic frivolues
When we play AIRY game you bet your
neck it's mans game! The nearest
thing to this yere golf doin's that we
mingle 10 is what you might call the mer-
~ pastime OF progressive tar and feath-
erin"
Tar and feathering!7 exclaimed the
tourist, in astonishment. "What. nv
dear fellow, | never heard of that -er-
ceremony being regarded as past me.
1t is, in reality, a punishment, is it not,
and painful one at that?"
depends heap upon the position
you occupy III the game,' returned the
veraCiOus narrator, cheerfully, eff YOU
are one OF the parties of the second part.
an not closely related to the party OF the
first part, you most generally feel that
n is indeed good to be thar But if YOU
happen to be the party of the first part
YOU are lia0le to entertain symptoms
chat are radically different. I've had
he pleasure of officiating in both capac-
ldes, and ] speak by the card.
zone time, gOin' on three or four years
ago, down in the Panhadle country, /
becomes so popular with my felluwmen
chat they whiri in and present me with
robe of tor buJtOned on with swip-
a brush and trimmed with hen hair.
an triump hantly escorts me out OF the
settlement on the top side OF a saw-edged
rsil. AW wal, thar wasn't no speshul
features worth recalling about this we're
exodus, except that got sorter shot up
oy nearsighted eastern sportsman wiz
mistook me for carrOwassy. or suthin'
OF the kind an afterward fell out OF
tall tree in the midst Of sunday school
picnic who were eatin' their picnic din
ner below. Some OF em peared to mis-
take me for the devil, an others didn't,
an made my mistake while the super
intendent and the lit.le boys were reviv-
in tie members of the young ladies'
Bible class, who had very properly
'wooned. 1t didn't amount to much af-
Ter all, but it vas fully year afterward
before | laughed about it.
"Takin' all the tar and fetherin's that
| ever mingled in | never knowed but
one whuUin the party of the first part
got much good out OF it except in the
way OF an object lesson. T.lis we're man
l am recalling peared to glory in his
shame, as they say IN stories | fergit
what we decorated him fer. speshul;
mebby it was simply because the reglar
tar an fether day had come round
which was every third Saturday, weather
permittin'-aDd thar was nobody handy
who was more deservin' 1t don't mat
ter now, anyhow. His name was Hoon,
and so we warmed up the tar.
1--WE didn't feather this yere man, lit
orally speaking, becuz Missus Lopdick.
the genial and accommodating landlady
Of the Cosmopolitan hotel announced
chat business was business and she
wasn't going to denude no more piller
ticks fer to array gents who wernt
guests of the hotel Accordin, we rips
up an Old buffalo robe, and 1t haln't so
bad substitute for hen hair as you
might think.
"Wal, Nj. Hoon was decorated all ac-
cording to HoYle. Col. Handy Polk gifts
off few well chosen remarks, and the
party Of the first part defuncts in a