Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1898-09-11
THE COMMANDER-IN-CH HAS A
STARTLING ADVENTURE.
BUT She BORE UP BRAVELY.
The Idler II Both Philosophical and
Cynical on the Subject OF Summer
Boarders-How They Feel-What
They Do Upon Returning Home.

OH on vacations 10 take a mucn-nseuei
rest" the outside world never hears o
!. our doings-leastwise not unless the te
male women in our neighborhood get L
gossiping and to pecking at us.
And so, when I went home a few eve
nings since. and picking up the evening
paper, prepared to ignore the rest OF th'
community, did not anticipate the sur
prise which awaited me. My eye was
eagerly perusing the rhetorical alterca-
tions which had resulted from dispute
between two well-known pugillsts when
it lit upon the familiar name or the Com
mander-in-Chief. Yes, there 1t was in a
great big headline, staring at me like the
real article. What could It mean, i
thought, all in a second. She wasn't
dead-that was certain-for 1 could hear
her bustling around in the room above.
Nor was she married, for she has repeat
edly sworn that her union with me was
the mistake of her life, and that all the
wealth in the Klondiek couldn't in
duce her to tie herself to another man
in the event that 1 was charitable enough
to kick the bucket. And it was certain
that she wasn't taking a much needed
rest" for she is indefatigable, and AYERS
that If it weren't for her energy the
| whole establishment would go TO pieces.
Realizing all these things l snapped at
| the article with the eagerness with which
a catfish bites at bait Imagine my hor-
ror when l saw that Mrs. Genevieve
Blankety Blank, a respected lady OF the
West End, was robbed Of her purse this
morning while on Broad street shopping"
The very thought of .ne thing filled me
with a nauseating horror. but l struggled
to read onward. 1.-The thief who commit
ted this bold act" continued the paper,
was negro youth Of gingerbread color,
who approached his victim unawares and |
snatched from her hand the portmonnaie |
which she bore. Mrs. Blankety Blank, |
being much engrossed at the time or the |
negro's approach with three small chill
dren and an infant which had become
frightened at an electric car, did not at
first realize what had occurred, but upon
grasping the situation she screamed ana
swooned. Quite crowd assembled, and
in few minutes the lady was revived.
Her first words on regaining conscious
ness were addressed to the trembling lit
tie ones at her side. Many of the by
ISLANDERS shed tears when she spoke to
the infant and said: Bakers Dozen, wipe
your nose"
Nnrv he nd 7 |
worried about the Commander-in-C Chief as
1 was about the lost purse and its con-
tents. 1 knew that the good woman had !
a wonderful capacity to take care of her
self in a crowd-especially a Broad-street
3rowd-and that what was more she could
not only manage herself, but also the
children who frequently accompanied her
)n these commercial peregrinations But {
he purse, the money, the "on" as they I
all It. That's the thing that bothered
ne. Lucre has stopped growing on trees !
nowadays. and was very angry with the }
negro. l regretted that he hadn't been
tent to a colorsd reformatory before he
committed this crime.
Resolved to know the worst, I whooped a
Up the victim of the theft, who came .
own stairs with her mouth full Of pins >
nd a thimbie on one hand Before she
lad gotten fully into the room she saw
ONE ashes from my pipe and snapped
ut: Il suppose you called me TO show al
ow you've messed up the room with that h,
asty old pipe of yours" fc
When she said pipe. l knew that how al
oever long her morning swooning spell III
al been, she WAS now all right w
ROBBED this morning. weren't your" al
ald' trying TO be calm. Purse snatched bi
'om you-dastardly act-great excite W
observation-disclosures multi 20
Ide-threats Of lynching-swooning lady w
~ me all about it," yc
did that plague-take-it reporter-man he
II anything about It in the paper?" she di
larply retorted. 'Td like to shake him." ca
ma she would too. had he been there) de
And then she explained that she hadn't inl
ally swooned, but had simply gotten pli
kinder dizzy" and that at first she had Al
lagined, in her CONSERVATION, that We
iker's Dozen had been run over by an tn
s-wagOn. sta
But the PURSE" 1 suggested mildly. rel
Yes, the purse; that's the thing that sta
axes me so hopping mad" she retorted. ha
spoiled my whole day. There were a rul
ousSnd and one things 1 had to get on ma
e streets. l had a whole weeks shon- cal
lg before me and things to buy for the de;
ildren, besides some flannel goods for wit
self the
now felt myself kinder getting diz- HE
More money gone-more honest 4
SEPARATION wasted-more toll and trou- gre
|, thought. II was enough to discour- eve
e any man. But 1 determined to be har
ive-to hear the worst you
What was In the purseY I finally res
rted out. 9Th
That's the very part that makes me the
tarnation mad" she replied. I'm II I and
5-cent piece. coppers, a muIe-car you
1et, six samples Of that nice lawn they and
selling at Smiths at fearful sacri- Hei
!, two checks that entitle me TO prizes mel
the tea-store, my handkerchief a lit the
piece Of candy TO keep the children POP
ct, and some hair-pins. It makes me be
mad every time l think Of that colored nap
that would like to fght-ugh."
nd then 1 heaved long, long sigh OF
eff, and again became lost to the world
the perusal OF the pugilists' contro-
sy.