El Paso daily herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1881-1901, 1898-08-25
DOOLEY ON THE WAR.
Has a Few Remarks to Make About
His Cousin George.

Chicago Journal.
"Well," said Mr.. Hennessey in tones
of chastened Joy, dewey didn't do
thing to thin. I hope tn poor la'ad
isn't cooped up there in Minneapolis. 1"
"Niver fear" said Mr.. Dooley, calm
ly. "Cousin George is all fright"
cousin George?" Mr.. Hennessey
exclaimed.
Sure" said Mr.. Dooley. ''Dewey
or Dooley, tits all tn same. We dhrop
q letter here an there, except tn
hsitches-we niver dhrop thim-but
we're tn same breed of fightin' men.
Georgy has tn trhaits iv tn fam ly.
Me Uncle Mike, that was handy man
was tould wanst he'd be stint to hell
FIR his nanny sins an he deserved it,
FIR PAWN out tn wan sin lv runnin'
away firm snnywan, he was booked f'r
Everything FIRM murdher to misln'
mass. Well, he says. amy place L
can get into he says Il Can get out w.
he SAYS. 'Ye bet on that he
says:
$50 it is with Cousin George. He
knew tn way in, an it's the same
way out. He didn't go in be tn
fam 'ly inthrance, sneakin' along with
tn can undher his coat. He left Ding
Dong. or WHATEVER tits ye call it, an
says he, Thank Gawd,' he says, I'm
where Mckinley can't give me his
ideas iv how to run q quiltin' party
an call it war; he says. An he stint
q man down in divin' shute an cut
tn cables, SOS Mack cuddent chat
with him. Thin he prances up to
tn Spanish forts an hands
thin few oranges. Tosses
thin out like q man THROWN hand
bills FIR a circus. Take that he says,
an rsymimber tn Maine, he says.
An he goes into tn harbor, where
Admiral What-thI'ell is, an, ssys'he,
Surrindar,' he says. 'Niver, says tn.
Dago. well, says Cousin George"
I'll just have to push ye ar-round,' he
says. An he losses few stubs at tn
Spanyards. TIL Spanish admiral shoots
at him with a bow an arrow an goes
over an writes q cable, This
mornin' we was attsckted,' he says,
An he says, we fought tn
inimy with great courage he
says. Our victhry is complete he
says. We have lost ivry thing we
had, he saws. "Tb' threacherous foe,'
he says. 'sfther destroyin' us sought
refuge behind mud scow,' he says,
but nothin' daunted us. What boats
we cuddent r-run ashore we surrinder-
ed he says. Il cannot write no more,
he says, as me coat tails are afire, he
says, an / am bravely but rapidly
leapin' firm wan vessel to another,
followed be me valiant crew with
fire engine, he says. If can save me
coat tails, he says, they'll be no Kick
COMM he says. Long live Spain,
long live mesilf.'
"Well, sir, in twinty-eight minyits
be TIL clock Dewey he had all tn
Spanish boats sunk an that there har-
Dor lookin' like Spanish stew. Thin
he r-run down tn bay an handed a
few warm vans into tn town. He
set it on fire an thin whit ashore to
warm his poor hands an feet. 1t
chills tn blood not to have anything
to do FIR an hour or So"
Thin why don't he write some
thlpg?" Mr.. Hennessey demanded.
WRIT vWrise W. echoed sh,es Mr.: DoG 2:
think Cousin George amt got nswthin'
to do but to set down with a fountain
pen an write: "Dear Mack: At o.
clock l begun a peaceful blockade iv
this town. We can see tn pieces livery
where. hope ye'er injyin' tn same
gr-grest blessin'. So no more at
G erisins. E bodIsv ye'efHf 'hr s;I,
that kind. IT'S nice day, an
he's there, smokin, a good tin-cent see
gar an throwing dice f'r tn drinks.
He don't care whether we know what
he's done or not. I'll bet We whin we
come to find out about him well hear
he's ilicted himself king iv tn FLIP
inc islands. Dooley tn; Wanst. He'll
be settin' up there undher palm three
with naygurs fannin' him an dhrop
iv Ticker in tn hollow iv his
arm, an hootchy-kootchy girls dane
i'm befure him, and livery
tin or twenty minyits some
wan bringin' prisoner in.
Who's this?' says King Dooley. "A
Spanish gin'ral, says tn copper. Give
him q typewriter an set him to wur-
ruk, says tn king. ON with tn dance,
he says. An sfther awhile, whin he
gifts tired iv tn game, he'll write home