The silver lance., 1898-01-14
Atchlso ODobe Sight
Policemen tell their troubles to each

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other.
1t is now claimed that while Rome
was burning, Nero fiddled. "A Hot Tine
in the Old Town"
A gentleman we have always esteemed
highly. has queered himself at this Office:
he writes CHI istmas Xmas"
We saw a boy today who really believes
in Santa Claus. He is about three years
old We never saw Que before.
When some people buy Christmas
present for fifteen cents. they mark 75
on the back, to give the impression that
1t costs 70 cents.
A charitable society worked for three
days on case Of dcstitution, and on the
morning Of the third day, all that the
family had for breakfast was raw onions.
Every season has it's mean man. The
poets his underwear to be mended 70 long
as there is doll left in the house un-
dressed.
Give the devil his due: large percent
age Of the people who go to the carnivals
are women. The men are very patient
about staying at home and furnishing
the money.
Oscar Wilde IL now living in a villa
owned by an English lord in Naples.
This doesn't sound like very bad punish
ment; living in villa owned by An En-
glish lord in Naples.
If this Lord knows everything as
claimed. he knows there il another side
to the story when women complain to
him at prayer meeting OF their bad hus-
bands and children.
When you remove to little town. you
can go to the postofficc, and get your
mail without mentioning your pame. The
postmaster of a little town always knows
the name OF every stranger. and what he
is in town for.
An Atchison girl, who has had love
affair on her hands for six months past
that made her dead to the world, IL be-
ginning to make overtures to her girl
friends to come over and play with hes
again. The young man was ficklc.
When a man 10 ON his wedding tour,
he has nancy to spend, and good clothes
TO wear, and stops at the best hotcls, and
receives kilograms and letters Of congrat-
uiations but after he returns home, he
attracts no more attention than toy
store after Christmas.
1t is q good many years since THE
Scarlet Letter" was written but it il
just discovered that the book would have
never been written but for the influence
and helping aid Of Nathaniel Hawthornes =
wife. Give posterity time and it will
polish up the memory Of every great
! mans wife.
Both Bradstreet and Dun made the
people a Christmas present Of report
for business that was very fattering.
The year closed with business remark
ably good, and the holiday trade was the
heaviest in five years. Wholesale busi
ness, which usually shrinks at this season
is showing a remarkable increase.
Look ont for reports that recent storms
have killed all the range cattle on the
western plains. Several years ago 10 per
cent of the western plains cattle were
killed by storms, but the newspaper coz
respondents didn't hear Of it until the
next spring, but they have been reporting
the same thing every winter since.
Every upper form boy at Eton has n
fag, or younger boy who runs errands for
him, and waits on him. A son Of VIII
liam Waldorf Astor is an upper form boy
ut Eton, and his flag is the only son OF the
Duke Of Connaught. in other words,
the American boy is waited on by the
favorite grandchild Of the British queen.
II mothers can make up stories about
bright things which their children say
about Santa Claus, which make their
fathers laugh, half tho battle is won I;
the fathers are open to conversion on the
Santa Claus subject. The next step is
to have the child write letter TO Santa
Claus, and leave it where the father will
see it.
When the widow of George N. Pullman
finally has her way. and makes her two
profigate sons millionaires. there will be
two awfuIly sold girls in Chicago. They
cancelled their engagements with the
Pullman twins when they were "cut Of, y
and it must be a terrible blow to refuse
to marry a man whe inherits money after
wards.
Ancordiur f6, tho r,r1,r,boxriao ol an old