Gloucester County Democrat. (Woodbury, N.J.) 1878-1932, 1898-09-15
CHAMBER OF CATS.


"The darned cats p rejoined his wife,
with vindiotive emphasis.
"I'll tell him about the cats when
write, y said Mr.. Blackstone. He did
Here is the letter:
DEAR REGULUs-Of course we want you to
come, and of course there is plenty of room,
though it ism It the best kind of room, the good
wife fears. You must know our fiat is as mar
row and long as the lane between your own
mansion and that where you house your COWS.
Our guest chamber is the last room of all at
the rear. 1t is the biggest and the lightest, hut
we don't use it to sleep in because of the cats.
The international cat dueling ground for the
borough of Manhattan is under the windows.
Why don't we kill EN-? When one dies, six
come and bewail his death. So we evacuated
the room for night use and live in the place
the landlord calls the guest chamber. There
isn't time before you come to take the bed
steads down and transpose them. 1t takes ten
days to do that. including the time spent in
hospital.
So, if you can stand the cats, come, and we
hope you will win your case Sincerely,
WILLIAM BLACKSTONE.
To the Hon. Regulus McShane, District At
torney's Office = County, N. Y,
The Hon. Regulus McShane arrived
ON a Saturday evening, and was con-
Quoted to his room. There were win
dows on two sides of the ROOM The
bed ran obliquely into the room between
them. On each of the unwindowed sides
was closet door. One closet ran through
to the bedroom of the Blackstones 1t
contained fixed washstand and the
family medicine shelves. The shelves
of the other closet were piled high with
discarded shoes, empty mineral water
bottles and fragments of broken furni-
ture.
tThere!'' said Mr.. Blackstone, as he
opened the door of this closet and point
ed with pride to the display on the
shelves. 'That is your only relief from
cats. That is the magazine. When they
begin to howl, lombard them. Use the
Spanish method. Don't hit, If you do
they II only make twice as much noise y
The district attorney smiled grimly.
81 rather think I'll stay awake for
fear shouldn't wake up when they
begin to sing"
"Don't you think, my DEAR her
husband said, don't you think it is
time to let the weary traveller within
trot to bed and I'll take Regulus and
show him what beautiful decorations
there are inside the refrigerator. y
She went her way and they went
theirs So well did the up country dig
nitary appreciate the refrigerator that
it was near midnight when he parted
with his host at the door of the chamber
of cats. As they passed her door, Mrs.
Blackstone noticed that the district at
torney's feet seemed to drag little.
"Poor thing" she said to herself, as
she winked solemnly at her pillow.
'He is tired. Perhaps he can't help
dragging his feet, the responsibility of
carrying those lovely shoes is heavy
heavy
AS she dozed, she heard her husband
saying:
''If you can, old man, you better I'M
dress in the dark The mosquitoes are
awful up here We would have put in
screens. but if we had you couldn't
have got at the cats.
1t was perhaps an hour later when
Mrs. Blackstone awoke. The night was
w
walked her. In moment she knew.
"Pr-r-r-ow- wow!" came the chal-
lenge from half block away. "Pr.r-r-
owl"
Er-wowul' came the answer from
under the back window.
Will, ;" said Mrs. Blackstone hoarse-
ly to the next pillow, Twill, wake up.
T1,ox -.
ped her hands softly in her glee
"Lemme know when they get here"
mumbled Blackstone as he dug his head
into the pillow again. Mrs. Blackstone
sat up and listened
"Pr-r-r -ow -wow!" The challenger
was drawing nearer. Not one, but three
voices answered him. For moment,
came mastery battlecry. 1t was like
that of a 6-months-old infant who has
swallowed his bib pin.
"Will, said Mrs. Blackstone, wake
upi They've come. :" He sat up and
rubbed his eyes
In the next room they heard the
bump and pounding of bare feet on the
floor. They heard door open and the |
clinking of glass.
Goodness, Will" whispered Mrs.
Blackstone, cid forgotten that you
could hear things in that room SO clear
ly."
cts very still night her hus-
band mumbled wisely.
The footsteps moved softly across the I
room again. "Slum chunk p The frag
ments Of bottle tinkled on the hard sur.
face Of the yard This noise had not
died away before there arose the long
wall of the overtures to cat battle
"W-o-o-o-o-o-o, WOW wow"
Softly and cautiously the footsteps |
crossed the room again. Again bottle |
broke and scattered. Again rose the
wall of war.
There was nothing cautious about the |
footsteps this time. Instead of the clink |
of bottles heavy boot soles clattered to- |
Eether. The time consumed in gather |
ing ammunition indicated that an arm
full was being collected.
-bang-biff- swat-boom!
"Tf-f-t wiokok!" yowled victim.
"Thank the Lord p shouted the Hon |
Mr. McShane. "Whoopp'
Boom-slam-sma -slap-biffl
"There, by DAMN they heard Mr.
McShane mutter. The silence of Sun
day morning settled down again.
The Blackstones slept righteously in
to daylight, but not SO late as they had
intended. AT about the time folks up
the state go out to feed the stock before
preparing for church there came rap
ping at their bedroom door.
BILL Say, Bille' said a worried
voice.
Wassermat?'' asked Mr.. Blackstone.
"Did You send anybody into my
room to take my shoes out to clean
them?" asked Mr.. McShane.
mo-" responded Mr. Blackstone
whats up?"
s'They re gone, that's all, = was the
melancholy answer put them in the
cIaset uhan I went RI hed-fha ono that /