Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1898-03-23


Dat de spring is clean begun!
An we might as we'll git ready
Ter dress up Spick an span
An go out Sunday walkin'
toh ter welcome Dandy Dan!
Washington Star.
clergyman was in his library one day
preparing his Sabbath discourse He
paused frequently to review what he had
written and would often erase a word or
sentence and substitute another. and his
5-year-old son, who was watching him,
asked: Papa, does God tell you what
TO preach?'' Certainly, my SON." was
the reply. Then why do you scratch it
out?' queried the little observer.
After ALL married man has the ad-
vantage of battleship." In what re-
spect, pray?' When he gets blown up
he knows what did it.''-Chicago Record.
-:o:-
The Christianizing of a Chinaman is not
always as sure as it might be, as an Incl
dent related by the Syracuse Post will
snow. A Chinese Iaundryman in that
city was converted to the Christian reli-
glon some years ago, and for a time every
thing went well. John attended church
regularly and his conduct was in every
way exemplary. But with the arrival of
some of his relatives not long ago came
his downfall. They insisted upon observ-
ing a feast to one of their gods, and the
converted Chinaman took part in the fes
uyities and burned his joss stick along
with the rest. Shortly afterward mem
Der of the church to which he belongs
asked him if he thought he had done right
III returning to the worship of gods He
replied: Me not velly certain; no want
to make a mistake"
6 IL, IL
experts IN the marrying line. Saturday
one of these civil agents of Cupid speedily
performed the ceremony for a rather
backward couple, and as 4 climax to the
occasion gave the command: Husband,
kiss YOUR wife; wife, kiss your husband.
Now kiss the minister This was quick
ly Obeyed. 7 might as we'll remark"
said the alderman, as he smacked his lips,
that | am in the divorce business, too,
but | hope nothing of the kind will happen
in this case His future platforms will
no doubt announce his qualifications to
perform a wedding ceremony, kissing and
divorces included.
Many years ago an English clergyman
in small town preached as his own SER
mon that he had bought. and which had
been originally preached in London when
the plague was raging in that city. After
reprOving the vice of the people, the SER
mon went on:
For this vice it is that God has visit
ed you and your families with that cruel
scourge. the plague. which is now spread
ing everywhere in this town"
At his uttering these words the people
We're all SO thunderstruck that the chief
magistrate was obliged to go to the pulpit
and to ask him:
For Gods sake, sir, pardon the inter-
ruption, and inform me where the plague
mo l1e.fs1 Clne, TO
vent its further spreading"
The plague, SIR" replied the preacher;
i know nothing about the plague.
Whether It is in the town or not, it is in
my homiy.'
Two teachers of languages were discuss
ing matters and things relative to their
profession. DO your pupils pay up regu-
larly on the first of each month";" asked
one of them.
NO, they do not" was the reply. 81
often have to wait weeks and weeks be-
fore | get my pay. and sometimes l don't
get it at all You can't we'll dun the
parents for the money!
"Why don't you do as 1 do? I al
ways get my money regularly"
How do you manage it,
1T is very simple. For instance, I an
teaching, boy French, and on the first
day Of the month his folks don't send the
amount due for the previous month. In
that case [ give the boy the following
exercise to translate and write out at
home: ! have 10 money. The month
is up. Hast thou got any money? Hast
not thy parents got any money? [ need
money very much. Why hast thou brought
not give thee any money? Has he no
money in the pocketbook of his uncle's
great-aunt? This fetches them. Next
morning that boy brings the money
Weekly Telegraph.
The publication of a little posthumous
volume Of poems. entitled ''VOX Huma-
ia" By the late John Mills, ought to set
at rest the question of the authOrShip-or,
at least, of one of the authors the sim
pie epitaph:
His work well done,
His race we'll run
His crown we'll won,
Here let him rest
which was placed over the coffin of Presi-
dent Garfield and over that of the Duke
of Clarence. Mr. Mills, it seems, wrote
the lines in 1878 as an epitaph for his
brother, and, never having published them
was much astonished to find them men
toned in the accounts of Garfield's fu-
neral. On inquiry it was found that the
American copy, which differed slightly
from Mr.. Mills poem, had been translat-
ed from a Latin version, which was in its
TURN al IIdIlSlttliO1I HUN I1l1SIlSu
aL-London Chronicle
Another story of the anxious and uoubt-
full lover comes from the far West and is
retold by the Rochester Post Express.
Senator Marum of Oklahoma recently
proposed to his sweetheart by mail. Her
answer was handed to him while he was
engaged i'll an important lawsuit as one
of the attorneys. For three days he car
ried the letter unopened in his pocket, for
fear that it contained an answer that
would unnerve him from properly continu
ing the case. Finally, when the last
speech had been made and the case went
to the jury, he tore open the envelope and
found that it said Eyes"
--:O:-
Among the wills that were probated
yesterday was that of a colored black
smith named Austin Thompson. whose
shop was on Sycamore street. There is
story connected with this mans name
that is worth telling, says the Lexington
Ky.) Herald.
Just after the war old Benjamin #.