Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1898-07-17
Copyright, 1881

We-that is, the large establishment
in which a number of people, includ-
ing me, two dogs and canary pird'
are counted-have decided to what
place we will HE q rather like that
expression; it sounds as II had IN
tentions toward the stage). Really,
We think the ideal place is reached. 1t
is a farm with a lot of room outdoors
and not too much in. Consequently
the supply Of boarders is limited The
landlady has some ideas tending to-
ward civilization, since there is a bath
tub, and she can realize, unlike the
average landlady, that people Of fas-
tidious tastes prefer when there is
only one tub in the house to have it in
tlmately acquainted with the scrub
bling brush and some soda and hot
water once In while. l once went to
farm house in the really rightly
country where l used to help with the
tea things, assist the ''purps" to chase
the mice in the barn and teach the
girls in the family how to cut their
skirts after the latest new fashion. but
woe is me! The mouse no longer
fears me, for when L start to run
twinge of rheumatism announces to
him that grabbed youth and rheuma-
tism cannot run after him with sue
cess, though they do sometimes.
However, to return to the present,
which when one has passed q is al
ways pleasanter than the past. we are
here. Like the detective in the melo-
drama who always pops UP and saves
the heroine, I'VE have come" How
we will like it remains to be seen.
This morning, when / felt a litteo
poorly and one shutter would shake,
our courteous landlady fetched a gen
ial looking gentleman to arrange the
shutter, who, seeing me arrayed as
most people are who are in bed, gave
me no opportunity to say anything,
but announced that he had daughters
of his own and needn't apologize. He
little know that l had no intention of
doing this, for I had put on matinee
Jacket with pink ribbons especially for
his benefit At first | did not under
stand exactly why he looked at me
with what seemed a measuring eye.
He appeared to be taking me in by
inches
Then think of It! I learned that
this shutter fixing person was the
village undertaken, and he was staring
at me with an eye of business. But |
am glad to know that, gentle and
genial as he was, he will never make
anything off me, for when | bid good
bye to this gay and festive world l
shall depart in a plain pine box. l
want nobody to look at me and want
to be taken to my grave in a wagon
and have only a couple Of men of my
family at the funeral.
But we will drop that now and talk
about going to the country. When we
started out we were g procession
There were all the rest OF them, and
then came with the two dogs bowling
with delight because they were going
to ride in baggage car and be made
much or, while young man who has
weakness for me carried the canary.
chlrp1ng its Shrillest because it realized
that 1t was going where it can be in
the sunshine all the day long and can
SnlH the very sweetest of flowers.
Then there were couple of men who
announced that they wouldn't carry a
thing. but who staggered under a dress
suit case containing something which
was forgotten until the last moment.
while somebody else had a box of
candy a pound of fine tea and three
umbrellas and a storm coat which We
forgot to put up, but they had to 60 so
they went. And when we got there
there was large wagon to meet us,
and we looked as if we had Just ar
rived from the old country, and we
went sailing (metaphorically) sitting
On our trunks. The two dogs turned
up their noses at this. so one sat in my
lap while Molly held the other one.
who would insist on trying to catch
flies.
There are times when puppy, cheer
full as he may be, is somewhat in the
way. On our arrival this truth was
proved, since the two small fox terriers
got in fight with a large collie, and,
much to the sorrow of our small boy,
it was interrupted. The collie was tied
up in the stable while the two pups
went out. sat just outside 1t, and he
walled as if there were going to be
death in the neighborhoCd until the
farmer united him, and then they all
kissed and shook paws and were good
friends. The average dog is rather
peculiar and would rather eat some
dirty old bone covered with cold fat
and fished out of a coal scuttle than
nice piece of chicken on a china plate.
To return to the two legged ones.
AS far as can be expected, we are
now settled, and we sit out on the
veranda and are industrious beyond
expression and lounge in hammocks
and read or go to sleep, but we take
Ike easily and find that we gain flesh
by doing 50. We have wonderful dis
cussions, in which the farmers daugh-
ter joins, running in every now and
then from the kitchen, where she is
making cherry pies, to give her opin-
ion, which is not a flowery, but a
f1oury, one
We have discussed the war. killed
the Spaniards, owned the world, having
long ago possessed the flesh and the
devil Then we come down to clothes,
and the farmers daughter, who Is
pretty girl, with a very good idea as
to the correct thing in frocks and