St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1898-08-10
Mr.. Dooley on the War.

Mr.. Dooley on the War.
swell, Sir" said Mr.. Dooley, Con
found thin Cubians. III was Gin'ral
Shafter I'd back up til wagon in front
iv tn dure an I'd say to Gen. Garshy,
I'd say, 4 want YOU and I'd have them
all down at the station an dacintly
booked be tn desk sargent before the
fall of night. TIL impydince iv thim!"
what have they been dom ?" Mr..
Hennessy asked.
"Failin' to understand our civiliza-
tion," said Mr.. Dooley. "Ye see it vast
his way. This is the way it was. Gin
raj Gar shy with wan hundred thousan'
mems been fghtin bravely FIR two years
fr to liberyate Cuba. FIR two years
he's been marchin his sivinty-fve thou
san men up an down tn island destroy
in the naughty Spanyard be tn nillyons.
Whn war was declared he offered his
own sarvice and the sarvices iv his ar
rmy iv fifty thousand men to tn United
States, an while waitin' f'r ships to ar
rive marched at tn head iv his tin thou.
san men down to Santiago de Cuba an
captured cigar fachtry which they
soon rayjooced to smokin ruins. They
was holdin this position-Gin'ral Garshy
an his gallant wan thousan men-whin
Gin'ral Skater arrived. Gin'ral Garshy
Immediately offered tn sarvices iv himsilf
and his two hundred men fr the capture
iv Santiago, and whin Gin raj Shafter ar
rived there was Gin'ral Garshy with his
gallant band iv fifty Cubians re.ready to
eat at minyit's notice.
"Gin'ral Shatter is big coorse two.
listed man from Michigan, an whin he
see Gin'ral Garshy an his twenty We
gallant followers, Fr-ront,' says he.
This way, he says, step lively he says
an move some iv these things he says
Sir says Gin'ral Garshy dye take me
fr a dhray?' he says, I'm sojer,' he
says. not baggage car, he says. I'm
Cuban pathrite an I'd lay down me
life an the lives iv iv'ry wan iv' TIL
eighteen brave men iv me devoted ar
rmy,' he says, but III be hanged if l
carry trunk he says. I'll fight whin-
liver tits COOL he says, an they amt
wan iv these twelve men here that
wuddent follow me to hell if they were
awake at tn time, he says. but he says,
lift twas wurruk we were looking f'r we
cud have found it long ago. he says.
'They'se lot iv it in this country that
nobody's usin' he says. What we
want he says, is freedom, an if We
think we have been in the woods dodgin'
tn savage correspondent FIR two year,
he says, fr tn sake iv rushin' your
laundry home, he says, "tis no wondher,
he says, that h'roads from Marinette
to Kalamazoo is paved with gold bricks
bought be tn people iv ye'er native
state, he says,
$50 Shafter had to carry his own
thrunk, an we'll it was FIR him that it
wasn't Gen. Miles, the weather bein'
hot. An Shaiter was mad clear through,
an whin he took hold OF Santiago an
was sendin out invitations he scratched
Garshy. Garshy took his gallant band
~ six back to the woods an there the
three Nv thin ARE now ARMED with
forty r-rounds iv canned lobster an ready
to resist to tn death. Him and tn other
man has written to Gin'ral Shafter to
tell him what they think iv him, an it
don't take long"
WELL" said Mr.. Hennessy, II think
Shafter done wrong. He might've asked
Garshy in f'r to see tn show, SEEM that
he's been hangin' ar-round fr a long
time, dom the best he cud"
ut isn't that" explained Mr.. Dooley
9TH trouble is tn Cubians don't under
stand our civilization. Over here free
dom means hard wurruk. What's TIL
ambition iv all iv us, Hennessy !? IT'S
ayther to hold our job or get wan. We
want wurruk. We must have it. DYE
raymimber tn sign tn mob carried in tn
procession las year? Give us wurruk
or we perish it said. They had their
heads bate in by policeman because no
phllanthropist'd come along an make
thin shovel coal. Now in Cuba, whin
tn mobs turn out they carry a banner
with tn wurruds; Give us nawthin' to
do or we perish Whin Cuban comes
home at night with happy smile on his
face he don't say to his wife and childer
Thank Gawd, I've got work at last.
He says; Thank Gawd, I've been fired.
An the childer go out an they say; Pah.
pah has lost his job, an Mrs. Cuban
buys hersilf new bonnet an where
wanst they was sorrow an despair all is
happiness an cottage organ.
I'VE can't make people here understand
that, an We can't make a Cuban under.
stand that freedom means the same
thing as pinitinchry sintince. Whin
they thry to get him to wurruk he'd say,
Why sh'd /? | haven't committed amy
crime That's going to be tn trouble.
The first thing we know we'll have an.
other war in Cuba whn we begin dis
thributin good Jobs, IL hours a day,
wan sivinty-fve. The Cubians ain t
civilized in our way. sometimes think
I've got touch iv Cuban blood in me
own veins. ~ Chicago Journal.
For Over Fifty Years.