davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1898-10-01
A Man of SYSteIn.

A newspaper man of some celebrity
as a disciplinarian was noted about his
office for the extreme disorder of his
own desk. Though insisting upon
methodical habits ON the part of his
employees, be gave his own pigeonholes
a cleaning out and sorting over only
once year, and his regular time for
doing this oddly enough, was Wash
ington S birthday.
1t happened one year nevertheless
that he forgot to perform this task at
the proper time, and a friend who hap
pened in at his office on the morning of
Feb 23 was surprised at finding him
surrounded by his usual hopeless litter
of letters and papers.
"How does this happen, Mr.. --?"
he asked.
Forgot it, shortly answered the
editor.
"Well you're going to clean things
up today, aren't you?'
'No, sir, )" was the reply. "That job
goes over, under the rules, for another
year. You don't suppose l am going to
set an example of irregularity to the
boys, do you? Not much!"
And he cleared away space on his
desk and began writing an editorial on
the tariff. Youths Companion.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1898-10-01
Plenty to Do.

81 thought you told me, Wilson, that
you intended to do business just the
same after you had moved into the sub
urbs. l know you have plenty, but l
always thought you one of those men
who insist upon dying in the harness. )"
lyon We're right about it, my old
friend l believe that it would be i'm
possible for me to avoid spending at
least two or three hours day on
Change, but my time is completely tax
en- up, and l haven't looked at a market
report for month.
Wouldn't believe it if any one else
told me How do you exist?''
'Im having young trees set out, get,
ting Il garden ready, experimenting the
building of barn. watching them pave
the street and having continued kick
with the assessors, who seem to think
that my property is worth all paid for
it.
"You'll soon have all that off your
hands. l was afraid you might have
left us permanently"
"Oh, I've only commenced. have a
Jersey COW, pointer pup, a tandem,
two Berkshire pigs and a kodak, be.
Sides
"Never mind. The COW, the pup and
the kodak are enough. I'll just tell the
boys that it's all Off so far as trade
with you is concerned. You have three
fads that will keep you buster than u
coon in a bee tree. "-Detroit Free
Press.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1898-10-01
The Awkward Orderly.

A young wag of an officer, making a
morning call upon his superior in the
latters tent, found him sound asleep,
perhaps "a little the worse for night s
tarrying over the flowing bowl
The officer was tall, and the cot was
short, so that his feet stuck out at the
foot of the bed
Instead of waking him the visitor
took the spurs from a pair of boots
standing by the bedside, strapped them
to the sleeper's ankles and went away.
The officer had pretty well lacerated
himself about the shins and ankles be-
fore he woke up and instantly yelled to
his orderly.
"What do you mean by this?' he
screamed to the latter, pointing to his
feet, which were SCARED and bleeding
The orderly looked at the spurs in
CONSERVATION.
"Ill forgive you this time, for you
did it in the dark" said the officer,
"but the next time you yank my boots
and socks off so quick that it leaves my
spurs on I'll give you ten days in the
guardhouse, do you hear?''-New York
World
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1898-10-01
Homes of the Anthracite Miners.

A group of papers dealing with the
Pennsylvania coal regions appears in
The Century. Jay Hambidge gives "An
Artists Impression of the Colliery Re-
gion. Mr.. Hambidge says of one of the
"patches" where the miners live: Each
little house, with the boxes, cubby
holes and fences about it, has been built
by the man who lives in it. And he is
a laborer, struggler Tor mere existence,
not deft in the use of tools, nor with an
eye for the symmetrical, nor with an
appreciation for anything beyond the
most primal facts of living. The roofs
of the buildings slant at all angles,
with no two,sides of the same length or
DETECTION. One portion will have caves,
while its companion will scorn the lux
ury. The same incongruity prevails ev-
erywhefe. Some of the small openings
used for windows are high, while others
are low. One door will open i'll and an
other out. The hinges have evidently
come from the company scrap pile, and
the staples and latches and locks from
the same source. Some of the roofs have
shingles, others weatherboards, while
others are formed of great pieces of
rusty sheet iron.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1898-10-01
The Undertaker,S Chairs.

II see in the windows of undertak-
ing Shops" said Mr.. Staybolt, "a pla-
card which says that campstools and
folding chairs are to hire there, deliver
ed by express wagon. l infer from this
that chairs must be hired out for other
than funeral purposes, for festive occa-
sions, in fact, as indeed know of no
reason why they should not be-
but they must lead varied life,
the chairs-funeral one day and we'd
ding it may be, the next. They know
when they start where they'r going
that is, they know the nature of the oc-
casion. They can tell that by the wag-
on they go in. If when they are carried
out they find themselves put into the
black wagon of the undertaken, they
know it's funeral they re going to. If
they are put into just a plain, ordinary
delivery wagon, they know that they
are going to wedding or party or
some gathering of more or less gayety,
but they cannot tell what will happen
next.
"Well, l don't know that there's
anything SO very remarkable about this
after all. The experience of the chairs
is like that of the people who sit on
them. They have their days Of smiles
and their days of tears. New York
SIM
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1898-10-01

Amphibious fishes are to be found in
various quarters of the globe. Begin
ming in Europe, there is the blenny,
which, when kept in aquariums, has
been proved to require at least an hours
pure air out of water to preserve it in
good health and spirits. In the tropics
is found the periophthalmus, which is
singularly amphibious and hops over
the muddy flats i'll search of food, nota-
bly, the crabs and mollusks left stranded
by the retreating tide This fish is so
active on land that it is difficult to
catch, and various specimens brought
from Mauritius were secured by means
of "A shotgun-truly a unique method of
killing fish. This fish is also found at
Ceylon, and it is noticeable that when
chased they prepare to escape by land
rather than by water; they really seem
to appreciate the sport. Chicago News.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1898-10-01
CYCLONE OR WHIRlWIND?
Besides the Damage 1t Did, 1t Started .
Big Row.

dig INo"s
We were waiting for train at
Georgia railroad station when funnel
shaped cloud appeared in the south
west, and it was remarked that thun-
der shower was probable. A native
stepped forward after awhile and took
a long squint at the cloud and then
drawlingly said:
''That's one O them cyclones, that
is, and every body what don't want to
be blown away had better get into
ditch
The station agent took look and
agreed that it would be prudent to go
into hiding. There We're i of us, and
we went up the track few rods and
took cover in the deep ditch. We hadn't
been there over five minutes when a
cyclone came sweeping up the valley
with wild shrek, and if we hadn't
hung on to each other all would have
been blown out of the ditch. 1t was
over in 3 seconds, but it took the sta
tion house, fences and trees along, and
the big pine forest to the north had a
swath 40 rods wide cut through its cen
ter. Half a mile above us was cabin,
and after the storm three or four of us
set out to the rescue of the people The
forest trees had been uprooted and dash
ed about until we felt sure that the
people Of the house had met instant
death. After hard journey we reach
ed the place. The house was gone, and
every tree around it leveled, and we
were moving about in search of the vic
tins when we heard woman call:
Hey, Sam, is that you over there?"
"No, it amt me-" responded
mans voice in the opposite direction.
We soon came upon both. They were
pinned down by the branches of the
trees but neither one was much hurt.
AS soon as the woman had been released
she walked oversto the man without a
word to us and said:
80 smarty, what did tell your"
"Nuthin," sulkily replied the man.
eyes, did. said it was goin to be
one O. them cyclones.
And l said it was goin to be whirl-
wind, and SO it was"
1t was cyclone"
1T was whirlwind."
"This seems to be queer time for
disputing about trifes," said the colo
mel, as we pried the man loose. "Your
house, fences and everything else has
been blown away, and both of you have
escaped death only by miracle. -
The pair limped along with us to the
remnants of the house and sat down
ten feet apart, and as we were ready to
go the man said:
"Thankee, strangers. A rippin old
whirlwind wasn't it?''
"And I'm also much obleeged, and
it was a regular cyclone, added the
wife.
''It was a whirlwindP'
at was a cyclone"
AS we made our way through the
tangle we heard yell from the man,
followed by scuf1le. The wife had
him by the hair, and we felt that she
must soon bring him over to the cy-
clone side, e,-Philadelphia Press.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1898-10-01

He Could See Through Them.

Carl Hertz, the we'll known conjurer,
Fnce entertained a company at a friend s
iouse hy performing some of his clever
est tricks. One of the parlor maids,
who had been passing cups, cakes,
glasses and so on, was much interested,
and when the hostess gave sign that
nothing more was needed the girl still
fingered to see the completion of the
trick Just begun.
"Will some one oblige me with a
heavy shawl or cloak?" Hertz said.
Now" ne went ON, selecting a big
cashmere shawl, "you observe the thick
ness of the shawl?" They all did, in
Guiding the maid at the door. "Now,
will one Of you be good enough to write
a number of three figures on piece of
paper, being careful not to let me see
what is written?" One of the ladies did
so, while the maid at the door leaned
forward and began to breathe hard.
"Now place the written paper, with
the figures on the upper side, under the
shawl as l hold it." 1t was done the
thickness of the shawl being between
Hertz and the paper as he looked down
toward it. There was breathless silence.
Then he said, ''Surely the number is
761." 1t was. He had apparently seen
right through the thick shawl. Every
one was amazed.
Then upon the silence broke the
shrek of the maid at the door, With
one final gaze at the shawl and one at
the handsome conjurer she hid her rosy
face in her hands, yelling at the top of
clothes?" and fed.-Argonaut.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1898-10-01
Her Impressions of Angels.

The wife of we'll known senator
took her little daughter, 4-year-ol
damsel, to matinee once to see "Jack
and the Beanstalk. A week or so aft
erward she was discovered pirouetting
and lifting her petticoats before che
val glass. Her father reproved her and
told her it wasn't a pretty way to do.
why" said the child, 81 saw the
angels do it,.
1.-The angels!' exclaimed her father.
"Why, where?''
"When mamma and went to heaven
that day" said the child.
The father explained that the fancied
heaven was only the theater. The little
girls face fell.
"And WASH they angels?" she asked.
"No,' said the father; "they were
just girls. "
The child put on an air of intense
disgust.
"Well, she said, 81 fink they ought
to be taxed home and spanked, cause
they wasn't dressed any more than an
gels. "-Lewiston Journal.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1898-10-01
Queen yictoria,s Marked Poem

Here is funny story told of hap
pening at the English court: Sir Theo-
dore Martin had been requested by Vic
toria to read aloud from 1.-The Ring and
the Book. Sir Theodore was courtier
enough to make cautious study before
hand of the poem, and he placed mar
ginal notes as danger signals against
passages of doubtful propriety.
The marked copy CHANGED to come in
to the hands of rather thoughtless
court lady. 81 have so enjoyed this
wonderful work." she said to friend,
"and it has been such an advantage to
read it after the queen, for she has
placed marks against the most beautiful
parts, and, oh, what exquisite taste the
dear queen has!' she added, pointing to
the danger signals of Sir Theodore Mar
tin.-Quiver.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1898-10-01
COLLEEN OHAS.

As roamcd out one morning
The stars were in the Sky,
But chant ic,eel' his warning
Had flung it f-w and high.
The little birds wore talking,
The mountains yet We're gray,
When Colleen Dhas came walking
AT dawning of the day.
Her feet outvicd the Gaisics,
Her hair outshone the sun,
Her beauty, like The Graces,
Did join all sweets in one;
Her eyes like twin stars married,
Her breath of ncwl"own hay;
A milking pail she carried
At dawning of the day.
Snow, arc you tender Hcbc,
Or maybe Juno bright?
Your name it might be Phoebe,
That lobs the sun of light,
Or are you lovely Venus,
That close beside me stray,
With the milking pail between us
At dawniug of the day =
"Young man." she said, "don flatter.
Your glance is bold and free.
No stranger praise wilt matter
To virtuous maids like me.
Pray 90 where you were going;
take the other way"
And hear my crummy lowing
AT dawning of the day.
Upon bench of rushes
Alone | sat and heard
Her voice outsing the thrushes
And every Weakening bird;
heard the sweet milk squirting,
The hedge between us lay,
And | longed that we We're counting
AT dawning of the day.
Pail Mall Gazette.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1898-10-01
SAFE BEHIND IRON DOORS.


How Brooklyn Sacrament Service Is
Protected From Thieves.
1t is generally accepted as fact that
the most expensive and elaborate taber
nacle for the services in this country is
that belonging to st. Augustine's
church, Brooklyn. Formed entirely of
gold and silver and studded with pre-
cious stones, it would prove rich haul
for the daring but sacrilegious marauder
This fact was fully appreciated by the
church authorities who have devised
plan of protection which is as near per-
feet as can be. 1t is an electric system,
unique and effective, and now when the
congregation arrives the tabernacle is
in full view, but as soon as the cOngre-
cation is dismissed the tabernacle dis
appears completely, apparently without
human aid.
Two great, heavy harveyized iron
doors, which have been covered with
gold leaf, roll forward at the press of
an electric button and completely con-
ceal and protect the costly chancel.
These folding doors meet in a dome at
the top to afford protection in that direc
tion. The motion of the doors is slow
and easy, special apparatus being de-
vised for the purpose, the doors moving
on heavy roller bearings. The motion
is impaired to them by means of sys-
tenn of gears, actuated by an electric
motor installed directly beneath in the
cellar. In order that no one should have
access to the actuating push buttons
these are placed in a regulation fire and
burglar proof vault of massive construc-
tion, the combination to which is
known only to the rector and his asso-
ciates. All the wires leading to the mo-
tor from the source of supply are con-
nected at various points to the local po-
lice and burglar alarm service, so that
should any one tamper with the wires
notification would be given Immediate
ly. The safe doors are so constructed
that should any one attempt to drill
through them other electric circuits
would be closed and the alarm given.
When the doors before the tabernacle
are closed, it is completely inclosed in
heavy iron on all sides, SO that it is
much safer than if an armed guard
stood watch before it.-Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1898-10-01
Embarrassing.

Mr.. Peet, Il very diffident man, was
unable to prevent himself being intro
duced one evening to fascinating young
lady, who, misunderstanding his name,
constantly addressed him as Mr.. Peters,
much to the gentleman distress.
Finally summoning up courage, he
earnestly demonstrated, "Oh, don't call
me Peters-call me Peet. "
"Ah, but | don't know you we'll
enough, Mr.. Peters," said the young
lady, blushing, as she withdrew behind
her fan.-London Telegraph.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1898-10-01
Got 1t Overheard.

Once while in foreign port Admiral
Dewey ordered the heaviest hoisting
tackle in the ship to be got out of the
hold without delay. Nobody knew what
it was for, as there was nothing just at
that time, either heavy or light, to be
taken on board or sent ashore. After
two hours hard work the tackle was
in place, and Dewey then ordered that
"a large chew of tobacco which had been
thrown under one of the guns be hoist
ed overheard and dumped into the sea.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1898-10-01
Nothing Was Lent.

care you the society editor?" asked
the large woman, who seemed to fill
the room.
"No, madam, said the one address,
ed. 81 am only the court reporter"
REALLY? lam surprised. But perhaps
you will do. Your paper said in its ac-
count of the affair at my house that
floral decorations 'lent beauty to the
scene. | wish you would have your pa
per state that the floral beauty was not
lent. Everything was paid for. "-In-
lianapolis Journal.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1898-10-01
Foresight.

II observe that you announce an
attraction that will be wholly out of
the ordinary, " remarked one theatrical
manager.
Eyes, " replied the other confidently.
"1'm going to put out melodrama
which will not make the slightest al
lusion to the Spanish American war"
Washington Star.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1898-10-01
HER CAaFlNG DISH.

When Fanchon 20 her chatting dish
Repairs and lights tic alcohol,
We look for miracles and wish
That fate may let us share them all.
Though not to gluttony inclined,
We laugh with gastronomic glee,
And each lays plans with secret mind
To eat tidbits enough for three.
For Fanchon is n cook supreme
OF daintics which the dish may hold,
A gracious goddess of the steam
Whose bountios please us more than gold.
Her tinnan haddies and croqucttes
Are poems of deliciousnCSs.
Her oysters and her omelets
Achieve the climax of success.
And yet ! wonder can it ~
That Fanchon's skill is so unique.
i know what SAVIOR all for me
Are her bright eyes and glowing check.
Well, Fanchon, cater to the men
And to the maids whC.H men desire,
But don't get scorchcd, younS lady, when
You're playing with the dainty fire.
Chicago Record.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1898-10-01
Novel MenSuratiOn,

One of the difficulties in the way of
acquiring exact information in Georgia
courts is thus indicated by the Atlanta
Constitution:
'How far was it," asked the lawyer
of the witness, from your house to the
road where the difficulty occurred?"
Bout acre Ell a half, suh."
81 mean how many yards?"
"Dey wuzn't any yards dere at all,
sub, exceptin of my yard, en- dat wuz
bout acre Ell half fun de roadw
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1898-10-01
Sign of Victory.

81 don't see," said the disinterested
foreigner, exactly how you make it
out that you have won great victory. I"
"Why, that's easy" answered the
Spaniard. "Isn't it plain to you
that we have compelled the Yankee
pigs to feed our army in eastern Cuba?"
Still he admitted that he was uncer-
tain whether it should be called a
triumph of diplomacy or feat of arms.
Chicago Post.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1898-10-01
Small TOmmy's Wish.

Small Tommy was very fond Of candy
and asked. Mamma, can God make
anything he wants toP''
"Of course he can," was the reply.
"Well," exclaimed the little fellow,
"I'd just like to see him make stick
Of candy with only one end to it. -
Memphis Scimitar.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1898-10-01
Mrs. smitherleigh's Compensation.

wasn't it awfully hard for you to
give your daughter up, Mrs. Smither-
leigh?"
"Yes, it was hard to think of it, but
she's going to LIVE in the east, and |
have always wanted to spend summer
down there so much. ''-Chicago News.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1898-10-01
Heard Behind the Scenes.

Gertie Gay-Just think. was six
weeks in arrears with my board, but
the landlady was afraid to turn me
out. | was an elephant on her hands.
Sally Smiles-Yes, l understand she
has your trunk on her hands yet.-New
York Journal.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1898-10-01
Not Sold at All.

He had said that he would sell his
life dearly.
Then he had lowered the price. But
still he declared that he would sell it.
Finally he offered it on royalty.
But the publishers said that there
was little demand for autobiographies,
and his life remains in manuscript
form Vim.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1898-10-01

SIS Ignatius Donnelly connected with
the state Department." asked Mr.. Bir-
mingham.
"Oh, now replied Mr.. Manchester.
"Why do you ask?'
''He might be useful with SO many
cipher messages coming in. .'-Pittsburg
Chronicle
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1898-10-01
Very Fond of Her.

Mr. Poindexter still loves his wife
devOtedly."
"How do you know"
II heard him speak very highly of
her taste in bonnets while he was pay,
ing the bill. Detroit Free Press.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1898-10-01

Woaver-Poetry is something that is
born in one, 1t cannot be acquired. The
making of poetry is gift.
Beaver SO is the disposing Of it, 90
far as | have had any experience. -Bos-
ton Transcript.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1898-10-01
The Difference.

81 doan' see no diffunce 'twix' de
man at wucks an de man 'at loafers, q"
said Deacon johnson.
"Dey hain't no ditfunce speshul, - re-
piled Deacon jackson, " 'ceptin dat dey
calls de loaferin feller 'kunnel. I"
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1898-10-01
Pittsburg Division.
wEsTBoUND.
EASTBOUND.

*Except Sunday. Nos 46 and Al carry
passengers. No. II is local train from Cum
berand to Pttsburg and No. IA from Pitts.
burg to Cumberland. Nos and make 8
stops each way between Cumberland and
Plttsburg. Nos IA and Is are new trains
will not be put on until June 20.
~ Through tickets, east and west for
sale at Cumberland.
NJ. C. CLARKE,
WIN. M. GREENE, Ticket Agent.
General Manager. d. B. MARTIN,
May % Manager Passenger Traffic.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1898-10-01

The Japanese government issues every
day three weather charts, which include
observations in China and the Lin kiu
islands, enabling captains to ascertain
the movements of storms several days
In advance.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1898-10-01
All Alone In That Glass.

Mr. Hunkcr-I have merely a speak
ing acquaintance with Miss Throckmor-
ton.
Mr.. Spatts-You are very lucky. All
aer other acquaintance are listening
acquaintances STRAY Stories.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1898-10-01

The republic of Uruguay has more
newspapers i'll proportion to its popula-
tion than any country in the world
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1898-10-01
Sunday Schedule.

In addition No. leaves Piedmont S:45 a. IN. ;
arrives FrOstburg l0:44 a. m, and No. O. leaving
FrOstburg 200 p. m, reaches Piedmont 3U2 p.
M. stopping at all intermediate stations
*On theatre nights, when admission tickets
are sold by Agents to performance at theatre,
leave Cumberland at close of performance.
All trains stop at Hays street station, Cum
berland.
Nos. /, 2, 4, 5, 8 and daily except Sunday.
Nos. 6 and run Tuesdays Thursdays and
Saturdays only. -
LIN. HAMILTON,
March 20 Superintendent.