Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1898-09-28
FAT WoMAN's PREDICANENT.

at Bloomfield, n. !, Sunday morni &
there was more of Il crowd of church
goers outside the First Presbyterian
hurch then inside. The center of in
terest was trolley car which stopped
N front of the church while the Con-
,,uctor aud motorman til to get q
passenger out of an unpleasant rr7dica-
men,. The passenger was woman Of
nure weight, breadth and thickness
than sny person i'll Bloomfield, N. J.
Were she came from nobody knows,
but sle came near staying there perma
nently.
She had boarded the car at the north
cru end of the line, and she sidled care
fully between an upright support and
The arm OF 3 seat and dropped back
wi b sigh OF relief.
Let me oil at the First Presbyterian
Church." she directed the conductor.
"Yes'm," said the official, hoping
hat his car was built for neavy tonnage
When the church was reached Ia,
20. ductcr rang the bell and called oul:
Here's your place, ma'am. Step
ight out" .
"DJn't you hurry me. young man."
aid the passenger. "rm Coming ss
quick as | can"
Unfortunately, she backed out Of the
ca, instead OF going sidewise, and con-
t!iv d TO wedge herself firmly between
the upright and the seat arm, where
sac struggled violently for several sec
.,nds becoming more firmly fixed at
Wy effort.
CONDUCTOR" she cried, why don'C
,ou come and help me oul?"
"Yes'm said the conductor. what
Where'll I take hold ma'am?"
Take hold Gracious saKes! Don't
daud there like ninnyl Pull me out
some way"
Very giugerly the conductor seized
ier by the slack of the skirt and pulled
I..-r-r-ack The fabric gave aid the
.ouductor turned pink and white.
Nov you've done it. Torn my best
lress. You'll have to pay for that. I'll
.ue the company. Don't lay hand on
mr. I'll get out myself"
Again she slrove and struggled until
Ter lace became purple and dreadful TO
see.
You'll have an apoplexy, ma'am," "
b.. conductor warned her. DON'T Go
1t. Wait till l call the motorman."
1t would serve you right if shOnld
lie riyht here in the car" said the pas
SEA- ger angrily ''Wha, right have you
lot 10 have your spaces so narrow"
"WeII, ma'am, you gee we ain'o used
i uean all our passengers ain't So
Weller mostly carry sleDderer
people than you"
"Am | going to stick here to be in
suited about my siz,?" cried the pas
senger, squirmiug like a stationary
dans.-du ventre artist. Chop down
ne post aud let me out at onc' !"
By this time the motormsn had come
IN and the crowd which had been d.
ve.led from the church entrance gave
,dvice freely.
Get q crowbar and pry the seat
locse." mo it's easier to pry the up
rio hit over" ''If we could get rope
around ner she could be pulled out. "
Fake off that coat, ma'sm, and you
eau get out"
TO all of the, e suggestions the victim
eDjied with disdainful snitfs. An elder
=. End solemn-looking man approached
aud after carefully looking over the
situation said:
NV advice to you, madam, is to
take deep breath, and when the
breath is xpelled you will easily re-
lease yourself
YOU'RE an old fool" said the vict M
concisely.
The elderly man departed looking
solemuer than before. -,
"As if | could take long breath
wilh,u, burstiug!" said the passenger
rnen, in irenzied tone: II demand 10
be released. Chop the car to pieces.
refuse to stay here longer.
Take her to the barn, Bill, suggest
ad the motorman. They can get her
out there"
Don't you dare move this car! l de-
maud to be put of here"
"But I'm losing time on my scheo-
ule. ma'am," said the conductor.
Il don't care. Put me of at once. !
will not he dragged beyond this spot.
Drawing deep breath tf de,ermi-
nation, the conductor seized ner oress
IN both bands.
There was a struggle, eroans and
nsntines, then as the champagne cork
eemerges from the straits OF the bottle bottle
neck so emerged the passenger from
her nredicsment, sending the conduct
or f)vipg of the rear of the car, Wnile
The crowd forgot its Sunday decorum
snd ND chasred. The woman climbed OF
the car and took inventory-a ores
torn in three places, q bonnet KNOCKED
out of shape. bruised person anu
lacerated feelings. .o;d
"I'Il make 'em pay for it, she saio
as she hobbled away. =,
Then the crowd went into cnuren.
-------------- ,r.DoC.rEl,S