Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1898-07-13

y
jor? Gallant Major-No. | can't pu'
you don't look it.-Tit-Bits.
Josh-It's wonder none or them lei
lers ever found the north pole. hiram
-Mebbe 1t amt there.
Hoax-Im not going to call on SIN
gle girl during Lent Joax-Golng IN
for the married ones, h?-Philadelphla
Record.
Poor Jimmie. Foiye years in Sing
Sing! do feel sorry for him" "Bedad,
an yure shympathy's trowed away.
He's surrounded by frlnds. Harlem
Life.
Rastus, Jr.-Poppie, is we gwlne toe
hab turkey fo' NAH birthday? Rastus,
Sr.@Pends on de moon, chile, de night
befo'. Ponds on de moon.-lnter
Ocean.
Little Sister-What's the difference
tween Electricity and lightnin'? Lit
tie Brother-You don't have to pay
nuthin' fur lightnin Detroit Free
Press.
Sponger-Say, old man, can you oblige
me with a cigar? Fred (who knows
him)-Sorry, but I've the only one I'm
smoking, and another which | shall
smoke shortly.
Mistress (severely)-If such a thing
occurs again, Norah, l shall have to get
another servant. Norah-Oi wish yez
wud; there's aislly enough wurruk for
two av us.-Puck.
Daughter-But, pa, Mr.. Sweetser has
accumulated a competence. Pa-Com-
petence be blamed! Money Is the thing.
You want a husband who can support
you.-Transcript
johnson wants TO borrow some
money of me. Do you know anything
about him?" | know him as we'll as
do YOU | wouldn't let him have
cent" -Indianapolis Journal.
PerklnsAHas Slopay ever paid you
that ten dollars he borrowed last year?
Dobson-No | guess he has forgotten
all about 1t; he is just as social and
friendly as he ever was.-Puck.
Attorney (sternly)-The witness will
please state If the prisoner was In the
habit of whistling when alone. Wit
ness-I don't know, | was never with
the prisoner when he was alone,
De Short-You notice, perhaps, that
have sold my gold watch, and now car.
~ silver one. Harduppe-Yes, old
man; It's only another proof of the old
saw: circumstances alter cases." you
KNOXVILLE.
Brady-Dd We hear ay the folght be-
tuxt Hinnissey and O'Gawligan? Grady
-Oi did not. Was 1t to a finish? Brady
That was Hinnissey's intinton, but
Hinnlssey was knocked out before he
got that far.-Boston Transcript.
"Your son." said the professor, has
been laboring under a misapprehen-
sion" Peerless" exclaimed Farmer
Corntossel, with Joy In his voice, we
don't mean itr' "Mean whatY THAT
Josiar has been workin' Washington
Star.
Paterfamilias Look here, Dick,
you've been Il bit wild yourself in your
day and I'd like some advice. What
am l to do with Harry? The young
rascal exceeds his allowance every
month. Cousin Dlck--Increase It.-Chl-
cago Journal.
She--How Is 1t you were not at West
ends reception? He-I stayed away
on account Of personal matter. She
May ask what 1t was? He-Will you
promise to keep 1t seeret2 She-Yes.
He-Well they failed to send me an in
vitatlon,- Golfers Weekly.
Mrs. Betterhawse-I am told that you
allow your husband to carry a latch
key. Mrs. Graymair-Yes, but it does
not fit the door. l Just let him carry
1t to humor him. He likes to show 1t
to his friends and make them think he
Is Observation-Disclosures Enquirer.
Mosher-What are you doing with all
those bits of card In your pocket? Wis
well-They are seat checks at different
theaters. 1t says on each, Retain this
check" It's an awful bore, to be OBJ
liged to carry SO much pasteboard
around. But, then, what's fellow to
do?
Lady lin employment office - As
there is only my husband and myself in
the family, think you ought to be Will
ing to come for less than you ask.
There are only two persons to cook for.
Domestic-But, mum, when I'm wild
you there'll be three.
"Habberjohn doesn't seem to have a
very lovable nature well, no. If
Habberjohn were at a banquet and
some one should discover that there
were thirteen at the table all eyes
would instinctlvely turn toward Hab-
berjohn as the one to go'-lndianapo-
lis Journal.
Clara-Well, aunt, have your photo
graphs come from Mr. Snappeschottes :?
Miss Maydeval (angrily)-Yes, and they
went back, too, with a note expressing
my opinion of his impudence. Clara
Gracious! What was It? Miss Maybe