Evening star., 1898-10-08

TT-ssF", bills, and not collect
h SsffhSt o. ing them, in Wash
|FLTf< ington for a matter
! ! !" !" !: !:
Il \ LAhe kM of nearly quarter
M MA n H,H of a century, and is,
Y IEEAaN5NlI therefore, not SO
BVNFif HH young or sprightly
- ~ IN he used to be, yet he
H SE is sufficiently modern
" ~ in his ideas and live
ly in his movements
to employ a bike in his business. The only
other accessory to his business-the busi-
hess Of the never-ending "manana," in es-
sence, If not in speech-is a big, foppy
worn red morocco pocket book, with many
receptacles severally marked Doctors"
"Haberdashers," "Tailors" Dentists"
Florists "Dressmakers," "Mininers,"
"Grocers,' and so Each of the receD-
tacles is always stuffed with slips of paper,
some of them clean and new, many of
them dirty and end-curled with more of
printing on them than written words. AS
for the written words, ITO acct. rendered"
is the commcnest phrase indited on these
slips CT paper for all Of the bills carried
in this worn red morocco pocket book have
long passed the itemized stage of bills
career The Reed. paym't' appended to
the bills seems to be in the nature of sar-
casm. Endorsements to the bills are va
rious They are formal, threatening. be-
seechng. ~ his bill is long overdue' II
want this account settled at once, or l shall
take LEGAL steps to collect it, Won't you
be good enough to hand the collector the
amount due on this bill, and oblige?" are
specimens of the Endorsements. AS for the
collector, he is gray-bearded, he has pair
of deep-set patient brown eyes, and he is
still an optimist after his twenty-five years
of collecting bills, and not collecting bills
very great deal of the latter, indeed Per-
haps he was a bit more optimistic than
usual on Friday last. Could the fact that
Friday last was government pay day have
had anything to do with this? He slipped
his big pocket book into his wide sackcoat
pocket about 10 o'clock on that morning,
mounted his bike and was off.
His First Interview.
1t makes difference what department
he headed for first. 1t was very natty,
smiling young man who came into the cor
ridor with the collectors card between his
right thumb and forefinger. 1t should be
observed at the outset, by the way, that
very large majority of this professional bill
collectors clients appeared to be natty,
complaisant young men.
Ha. here we are again. said this natty,
smiling young man, cheerfully. How de
do? Hoy dye think 1 look? You don't
was about four years ago, wasn't it,
when we first met? Um-m. Well"
I've got that little florists account along
today said the collector. Fifteen fifty,
you know. Been running since a year ago
last spring, you remember. l thought
Did you, honest?" interrupted the young
man. amiably. Say. you oughtnt to think
so hard 1t warps the head out O. shape
Now, the next time you come around, don't
you have think coming, and maybe"
Thought
today being pay day, you might feel dis
posed to at least pay something on this
little account
You wrong me, Pauline said the cheer
lets. I'm going to pay it all. But not now
No, not right now. l tell you what. You
come around here about 2:3O pm. next
Labor day and I'll fix you out all right
Honest, cross m heart, hope to die
But now? Oh, no. I've got to pass on
that. 1 tell you what you do. You go
down and tell that florist to send up say
about 81 worth of hyacinths and carna-
tiOns to No 1886 Y street northwest Come
to think of it, l haven't sent her any flow
ers for long while. Tell him I'll run in
when l pass by next Monday afternoon
He says he'll put this account into the
hands of lawyer if it's not settled at
once" said the collector
That SOP inquired the amable youth
Say, tell him he oughtn't to do that I've
used up all my leave, and 1 cant get away
proceedings
without losing pay for the time I'm off
Tell him I've got an aged uncle in New
South Wales who has settled 81 900 pund
on me, to be bestowed upon me at his
DEATH which is imminent. Tell him any
old thing I've got to get in now. It'u
be all right-all right
"TO One Suit of Clothes,
The collector didn't have to go very far
down the corridor of the same building to
ha
tall. solemn-faced young man, slightly
bald. who wore steel-rimmed spectacles
He was faultIessiy dressed.
ITO suit of clothes, $685." said the
young man. reading the bill. You may
tell the renderer Of this account that when
l happen into his place next week. TO order
fall suit. I'll have talk with him about
this bill. BY the way, you might tell him
TO send to me here few samples of Scotch
tweed goods, in plaid effects. | want him
TO make me up q short cutaway suit of
Scotch tweed, with tapped pockets on the
sides. and
But as to this little BILL" said the col
lector. 1T dates back more than d year"
"Oh. that'N be all right-thatll be all o.
X" was the reply. Il hope lie has got his
fall samples in. l don't want anything
really bizarre in tweeds, y'know, but he
may send me"
He is becoming quite impatient over this
account" said the collector, receiving back
Ine OIL anu replaClHS II III lne Dig pocket
book.
"Um-m. Well, l trust you'll deliver those
messages for me to him. and be particular
to specify that 1 want tweeds, and not
cheviots. and"
A Much Worn Bill.
But the collector was already mounting
the stairs to cover another floor of the
building. He stopped at the head of the
stairs to take out bill from the recep-
tacle marked "Haberdasnsrs.' The bill was
much worn, and the collectors counte-
nance was not particularly radiant with
hope when he sent in his card to his client
by the messenger at the door of the office.
There was some delay before a tal1, slim
young fellow of thirty, with a pen behind
his ear. emerged from the swinging door,
II trust you'll be able to Go 4 little some
thing on this three-year-old bill for eigh-
teen seventy-five for shirts and fancy
vests" said the collector. He's been very
patient"
Eighteen seventy-five? Is that the
amount?' inquired the tail, slim, young
man. Here it is Got change for a
twenty?"
The collector was so fabbergasted that it
was fully ten seconds before he held out
his hand to accept the proffered twenty.
His hand shook a bit as he reached into