The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1898-08-26
AN OBJECT LESSON.


Bob Burdette in Philadelphia Press.
My text is, "The Filipinos assert that
they are able 20 render the islands unten-
able for anybody"
1t is always an expensive and difficult
task to suppress a rebellion by force OF
arms. Isn't there some simpler ana
easier way of dealing with our self-conn-
dent, subject" so to speak, In the PM
ippines? Why wouldn't 1t be good thing
for the government to bring Agunaido
over to this country, with an escort or
honor; show him every courteous atteh-
ton; take him all over the country ana
give him as good a time as a congress-
man at a funeral? Talk INDIAN to MN
Take him around and show him the old
hunting grounds of the powerful Algon-
quin Indian family, warlike and ampi-
tious; take him through Virginia and
New York and tell him all about the wy
andot-lroquois, whose "ferocious vital
ity," Parkman says, but for the pres
ence of Europeans. would probably have
subjected, absorbed or exterminated eN-
cry other Indian community east OF the
Mississippi and north Of the Ohio TEL
him about the Fennimore Cooper Indians I;
give him the history of the sioux; tell
him the story OF the lighting Seminolcs,
the Creeks and the Cherokees; tell Linn
all about Tecumseh, Black Hawk and Lo-
gan, and Red Jacket. Talk to him about
the Comanches; tell him about Sitting
Bull, and Spotted Tail, and King Philip
Fill him UP with Indian lore. tradition
legend and cold history; tell him how
wise the Red Men were in council; now
mighty in battle. Tell him how com
pletely they owned this continent with all
the appurtenances thereunto appertaln-
Ing: show him where they chased the
buffalo over the plain and papered theiI
lodges with the white mans scalps; tel
him about Braddocks defeat. the mas
sacre of Wyoming and ST. Clair's defeat
Impress upon him what fighters these In
dians were; how cruel, rapacious and
bloodthirsty: how virdictive and revenge
ful. And when we have gone over all
the historic Indian ground with him, let
us take him down into Arizona and let
him see a Digger Indian corkscrewing
lizard out of its hole with notched stick,
that he may have the bird for his din.
ner; or take him to some desolate, tree
less, waterless reservation which the ten
der mercies of the land-grahber have left
for the Indian. and show him a pigeon
| toed buck. meekly going away from the
agency corral with a days rations of be IF
for a family of nine Ia windpipe with a
pair of lights hanging to it, and then
give the Filipino chieftain a Winchester
rife and 1000 rounds of ammunition, and
say to him:
'ASullaldo, my son, take tnese ana go
home, your hotel bill is settled and your
| passage is paid, Go home and proceed
| to make the islands untenable for your
| Uncle Samuel. You can have great
deal of fun with the old gentleman, first
and last, if you go at it the right way.
| Rejoice, o Agunaldo in thy youth, and
let thy heart cheer thee in the days OF
! thy youth. and walk in the ways of thine
| heart, and in the sight of thine eyes
| but know thou that all these things end
at the lizard hole and the agency abat-
| toir, where the porter-house steak Is
cut from between the horns, and the
windpipe is esteemed even as top sir
| loin."
1t seems to a blind man that If the
! Filipino insurgent is as shrewd man
| as he is said to be. some of all this
will stick in the place where his crdN
| ought TO be, and cause him to sit under
some lone ard silent tree and reflect
while the new government Is establishing
| itself, that by some mysterious operation
of an inscrutable Providence the Philip
pines had been removed from the ma
mana" belt.