The times., 1898-06-12
PRESS AGENTS ROUND TABLE

PRESS AGENTS ROUND TABLE
Alexander Kearney relates an amusing
conversation which he heard in the busi-
ness office of a one-night stand theater
whore he played last season. The ad-
vance agent of the attraction which was
to follow him. presenting a comedy by
well-known authoress, came into the
room. and said to the local manager. See
here We must have a large tree stump
for the first act of our piece. and / find
that You haven't one in the house
We'll. replied the gentleman address
ed. If we haven't ore you must do with
out
I'VE can't" Insisted the agent. ..be-
cause the star speaks lines which refer TO
the stump"
cut them out" said the manager. 1T
is easier for you to cut a few lines than
it is for me TO cut down a tree
1T is. eh?' returned the agent, doubt
fully. If you knew the woman who
wrote this play you'd feel that cutting
down a tree was simple beside cutting out
three Of her lines" And the stump was
forthcoming.
Every theatrical organization has its
terror" some member blessed with
superabundance of vitality and talent
for getting into all sorts of scrapes, and
usually getting ont again. No matter
how long the journey how depressing
the weather how dreary the theater, or
how dismal he hotel where the weary
troupers attempt to get a little refresh
ment and rest before travelling on to the
next "one-night stand town. which Is.
in all probability. dismaller still, the
temperament of the company terror"
is never dampened thereby. and by sheer
good humor and vitality he or she, as
the case may be, keeps up the universal
spirits with jokes. songs and funny say
ings until the discomforts of the situ-
alton become amusing. The Parry Op-
era Company which is encamped AT Glen
Echo this Summer. is especially blessed
in this line. for It rejoices in three ter
rors on the feminine side of the house.
They are the Misses Archer. Clay and
Alwen and an account of their escapades
already this season would fill a book.
On the first night. when the chorus girls
were unceremoniously, corralled in the
long dormitory above the bicycle hall,
about half of them We're inclined TO be
scared to the verge OF Mysteries by the
unaccustomed quiet of the country and
what they termed tae 'spOokinesS' of The
place. There was not man about-not
even a bellboy-to whom they could ao
peal for protection. and the whole crowd
was dangerously near feeling panicky.
That was the cue FOR the ''teTrors, who
are not afraid of anything when there is
fun in sight After the lights were turned
out they draped themselves in sheets, and.
uttering dismal groans patrollod the dark
corridors OF the dormitory with triple
performance OF the ghost scene from
Hamlet" It was only when one of their
frightened sisters was on the point OF
u. 1s..w.-
Conduit Road that they desisted-
Since then every bit of deviltry about
the dorInitory or dining room has been
laid. whether Justly or unjustly. 10 the
door of the three terrors, and they have
been obliged TO seek diversions outside
They nearly bothered the life out Of the
darlley drivers of the dirt carts engaged
in clearing away ground for the merry
go-round. and organized baseball games,
greatly 10 the dismay of good old ladies
who disapproved of anything SO mascu-
line as a woman throwing a ball. What
made il all the worse was the fact that
these muscular maidens really threw the
bah, batted il and ran bases as well as
the average boy. and with a good deal
more laughter and enthusiasm. So Mana
ger Allen reluctantly called off their sky
larkiDg about the grounds and during
their leisure hours between rehearsals
and performances they have secured the
neighborhood for new diversions, and
( have kept the countryfolk wondering at
the pranks and escapades of them opry
girls
Recently, however. the three terrors''
have been remarkably quiet and thereby
hangs tale. 1t appears that the other
day, in search Of fresh fields and pastures
new, they wandered across the Chain
Bridge over on to the sacred soil of old
Virginia Having strayed quite way uD
the river, picking out the picturesque
points of view and performing stunts on
improvised stages, the declining sun
warned them that il was time to get back
TO supper. Two of them favored retrac-
ing their steps. but Miss Archer insisted
on going on up until they came to another
bridge. How do you know there is an
other?" inquired Miss Alwen.
Why. you goose" responded Miss Ar
cher. don't you remember Cabin John
Bridge just little way above Glen
EchO?"
And so they started on their tramp. un-
mindful of the fact that Cabin John
Bridge doesn't cross the Potomac AT ALL
but spans a small creek Of the same name
on the Maryland side What befell them
on that bootless trip will never be known
except to the three members of the ex-
pedition. and they refuse to tell it all.
But about half past seven a boatman on
the river was attracted by the frantic
cries and wavings of a trio Of very tired
and disheveled girls on the Virginia shore
opposite Glen Echo. He approached, and
on hearing their tale of woe about the
lost bridge he nearly laughed himself
into 1T. Finally he succumbed to their
entreaties and ferried them across the
river TO where, after walking nearly
half a mile and boating it across the
canal they arrived at the AmphitheateT
iust in time TO makeup and go on in the
''Mikado." Worn out and almost starved,
they afterward confessed that it was the
longest performance they ever went
through, and when the curtain fell they
hardly waited TO rub the grease paint off
their faces before running for the cafe.
And the way they kept three walters
rushing their orders was a spectacle to
strike terror 10 the caterers heart. And
then they turned in and slept until noon
the next day.
Although they do not brag about it, and
il only leaked out through the boatman
telling some of the members of the com
pary who went fishing afterward, this is
the reason why the three terrors" have
kept remarkably quiet for the past few
DAYS and the very mention of Cabin
John Bridge is sufficient TO throw a damp
.ar over their merriest moods. They have
provided themselves with maps of the
upper Potomac, and swear that they Will
never get lost again.
BRIEFLY TOLD.