The San Francisco call., 1898-03-06

eHCe WHICH they CruQelyE deSlSnaIe dS being thumped. The idea is not pleas ing, and a naturali interest in sprospec- tlVe events has actuated some inquiry. 1 learn the reason for the war talk to be certain things said in this paper by "A Modest Critic am not a modest critic; neither do Ipropose to be docile instrument for the vicarious correction of any one who is. When the day shall come that I must be thumped let it be on strictly personal account. I only ask the belligerents to refrain from as- saults from the rear, and to remember that in arguments between gentlemen brass knuckels are barred.
 Sometimes feeling an impulse to say something savoring of unkindness, almost regret that a sweet and sunny nature forbids. Only for this restrain ing influence I would remark now that the Senators and Representatives in Cuba as part of Hearst's travelling zoo are the cheapest lot of monkeys ever caged. I would add that there is no surprise In the fact that Hearst has tried a scheme like this to advertise his continuous performance, but that 1t is surprising that he found a number of public men so nearly shameless as to abandon the work they are paid to do and become exhibits. That they have trace of decency left is shown by an at- tempt to excuse their indecorouS and vulgar conduct on the ground of going in quest of information for their own guidance. In other words, attempting to palliate an offense most unseemly, they add to it silly lie. If these men had resigned, if they had by proper method left the high places they dis grace, the Senate and House would have gained in dignity. AS it is both bodies are brought into ridicule, and the world will wonder what manner of creature is here intrusted with respon- sible duty. Of the gang bought by Hearst but two were ever worth men, tioning. ThurSton of Nebraska was supposed to have brains and judgment, the opinion fattering him. He has luck instead. He is corporation lawyer, who bamboozled the farmers into be- lief not only that the leopard could change his spots, but was anxious to do so. he being the leopard. Cummings of New York is a professional news paper faker, who has simply relapsed from statesmanship into his old trade. do not wish to be understood as say ing these things. They are merely things I would say if not handicapped; nor do I wish the hopeful band the ill fortune of being in Havana if the ard- ent Spanish there get to cracking the American skull. Drowning would be as effective, and would not give rise to international complication, of which tl, io oIr Ix-o impertinent junketers, with their heads caved in, would have to be rated as dead statesmen, while at the bottom of the sea they would be merely a set of abated nuisances, and nothing to pay.
 It is not reasonable that police court lawyers should expect time to be grant E ed them during sessions to. denounce each other as liars and +'eurs." This is busy generation, and it is willing to take some things for granted. The inutility of trying to gather figs of this ties is no more firmly established than the belief that a police court lawyer is all, his opponent in malpractice can possibly paint him.
 There is an oldmanliving in this city, his name Diamond, his age as given by himself 1O2 years As respect is natu- rally due the one whitened by the pass ing of many seasons, the feeling toward the venerable Diamond could hardly fall short of reverence. There is some thing august about the man who has braved, the storms of a century, who stands at last. alone at the. head of path marked on either side by the graves of generations, born, matured and in fullness of time gathered to their fathers while the solitary figure has survived a living link between the present and a past that is dead. Yet in the case of Diamond, I would like to see the proofs He looks to be we'll l-preserved man of S0 Supposing that inadvertently he has added a score of years to his record the mistake would be hard to detect. He has nev- CT married, and therefore there are no relatives who might serve as a check. Living so solitary life as he has, even if no more than 80, there would be great difficulty in controverting any statement he might make in relation to this matter. I do not wish to cast any reflection upon the old man. He may be sincere, but there are the de- lusions of age to be considered. He may even be correct. But in a stage of the world at which the man of 80 is rare, the man of 90 a wonder, the centenarian little less than a miracle, my stock of faith is overtaxed by the effort to accept this hale and vigorous Diamond, exhibiting the promise of liv- ing for decades to come, as having been ushered into this world in 1196. If he was, he can reasonably expect to be here in 1896, a marvel to races yet to be.
 
 Although under the disadvantage of not being the seventh son of a seventh son, I am willing to venture into the | field of prophecy, confident that it does not make the slightest difference whether my guess be right or wrong. This countrX will see the time when it's beautiful pacific theories will be knock ed into so many cooked hats. The idea of perpetual peace is most soothing, but l there are various ways of securing it