The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1898-12-10


He's an angel in disguise. NV.
There Is bank clerk IN this town
whose good nature fees before the storm
o, his wrath. when you incidentally
mention a little business transaction he
had recently with Smooth Bros" rag
collectors. and already ne and several
former friends fan to speak as they
pass by as a result Of their chaaing. He
lost on the deal with the ailey-gleaners,
and no man dare mention It twice wlth-
gu. danger TO his insurance company
unless his collar plexus region Is encased
with four-ply coat Of mai.
Johnson isn't the bank clerits name.
but Il flIs the bill. OF an industrious aud
economical turn, Johnson had collected
together the accommodations OF scrap pa
per In the office for three months. which
he placed IN two sacks, purchased out Of
hls spare change supply. He hadn't
long to wait until the rag pickers visited
the bank, and little time was spent In
johnson Opposing OF his scraps OF pa
per for $40. -
"Will you take a check?" inquired one
OF the two rag pickers.
ION what firm?" asked Johnson.
ION our firm" chlmed IN the other rag
dealer. Smooth Bros. Water street"
Poor Johnson took their, check for the
amount. He hasn't seen either OF the
Smooth brothers since, and has to come
10 believe that smooth by name means
smooth by nature Their check was on
another bank and before he presented II,
one OF JShnsoh's chpms IN the bank
'phoned the other bank. asking the cash-
Ter 10 cay that Smooth Bros" didn't
have $40 to thelr account. The scheme
was a success; johnson was told that II
cents was all the balance left TO the rag
arms credit, but he was asked to call
again; probably the firm would deposit
more cash.
For week johnson was kept on the
run. Finally he tore up Smooth
Bros. ." check In disgust. Then the boys
in his bank put up another job. They
got the other bank to call johnson up
after he tore the check, and poor John.
son was told that Smooth Bros" had
now s. to their credit.
But I've torn UP their eheck,"
rroalled johnson, as ne fell back from
the phone. The teller couldn't hold out
longer and he reared, and johnson mar
rowiy missed his head with the paper
weight. Hence 1t Is that the name OF
Smooth Bros" provokes Johnson's Ire.
This is the ante Christmas season, the
one chunk on the calendar, that puts
more disturbing emotions within the
manly breast than all the other Ills the
human flesh Is heir to. The young man
who Isn't doing some hard thinking
these days may take the head Of the
class. please. He deserves worldwide
prominence. His brothers are passing
worried days and sieepless nights on the
annual vexaTlous problem, II wonder
what she'll like? Would It be appro-
prlate?"
tell the young man, Yes. we're selling
very many OF them; in fact, they're the
latest thing out.
He Is puzzled and confounded. mixed
IN as to eelection and financial quallti-
cations he Is sore-eyed from gazing al
the window displays, and his sister has
told him a hundred times that "a ring
would be nice or you might buy her
fancy bert, or 4 brooch. Maybe. she
likes books; iust try her tonight on
poetry or novels. Then, maybe you IL
catch her with a-eamera or a bicycle.
on, any old thlng. II she likes you'
shell Ike your Christmas gift"
All OF which advice i3 as sand IN MS
eysg 80 he goes straight ahead and Sc
lects the first thing he picked on when
ne first tackled the problem, like 4 wo-
man selecting carpets or wall paper she
either goes hack to the first sample or
afterwar.l regrets It II she doesn't. So
the Young man. He has figured out IN
Ms mind iust what would suit. and he
gets that very thing after all. But until
Christmas his disturbed countenance
gives him away.
During the tWelye-year tenure OF the
office OF county clerk, George Hook. now
president OF the German1a Halt-Dollar
Savings hank, established the record OF
issuing ten marriage licenses In one day.
That record stu holds good. despite the
exertions OF the present official, Rich
ard Robertson, and all his aiiuTihg
Establishments. County Clerk Robert
son and his assistant, Charley Dan1en-
berg. have worked over time to beat Coll
onei Hooks record, and have got as TAR
as nine certificates OF election, but the
Two necessary to win they long for Keep
nj a respectful distance. There IS a
shade OF regret clustering over the desks
IN the county clerks office that VIII not
he removed until the cry OF come
eleven" is answered. 1t IL hoped for the
relief OF Messrs. Robertson and Dannen-
berg that eleven couples of prospective
entrants into the matrimonial race VIII
line up for the start at their matrimon-
mi bureau before Mr.. RoOerison's term
expires, but the chances are against
them this year fort reasons; one ia
that Advent is now on deck. and the
other IS that most young men find II con-
yenIent 10 "shake" their best girls Just
fore Christmas"
There was Just enough Ice on Four
....h-.,rnnt mar fhn Huh hnlldlng.