davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1898-09-22
A Peal Utopia.

Dunwich, Moreton bay, Queensland,
consists of about 1000 inhabitants. In
four years there have only been two
births and two deaths.
There are no streets, no omnibuses OF
trains, no soldiers, no police no shops
There is beautiful theater, and every
one is admitted free Clothes are free,
and so are food and lodging. Very few
do any work, and there are no hotels.
Very little money is required, and med.
ical attendance is free.
There is lookup, but that is not
used. There is also a postoffice, and il
short of money the letters are stamped
free. There is also free hospital and
library. London Tit-Bits.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1898-09-22
Easily Managed.

Scene-Editor' sanctum. Printer
Crushing in excitedly)-Here's go
! johnson, the murderer, has just been
found innocent, and the government
has telegraphed a pardon. We've got
the whole account of the hanging set
up, with illustrations, and the form is
on the press.
Editor tcoolly)--Don't get excited,
man. just put over the account in large
capitals: johnson Pardoned. Full Ac-
count Of What He Escaped Pear
sons Weekly.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1898-09-22
Laundry Notice.

The City Laundry desires again to
call attention to the days on which
they take washing. They have three
wash days, Monday, Wednesday and
Friday and washing brought later
than Thursday night cannot, be done
for delivery Saturday but has to 90
over until the next week. If patrons
will bear this in mind they will save
themselves considerable annoyance.
Remember, to have laundry delivered
Saturday be careful to have it in by
Thursday night.
BEN SCHoENHoFF.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1898-09-22
His system.

Shipper Clark Ito his employer, leav-
Ing the offce)-Oh, Mr.. System, haven't
You forgotten your umbrella? It's rain
ing.
Mr.. System Can't help it. I have
made resolution to have one here and
one at home, to provide for all emer-
gencies. Now, if take this one, they'll
both be at home. London Fun.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1898-09-22
Couldn't Translate 1t.

lis that your baby?" asked the in
terested party. What a cute little
child! What is he saying now?'
81 dom know, replied the perplex-
ed father. You see, his mother carries
the code book = Philadelphia North
American.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1898-09-22
All at Sea.

Absentminded Professor Tin the bath
tub Well, well, now have forgotten
what got in here for. T liegeno> !,
Blatter.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1898-09-22

Physicians declare that the most nu-
tritious article Of diet is butter. and ba-
con comes next.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1898-09-22
A Light Luncheon.

Bili--Did you ever try any of Small's
80 cent dinners?
Jill Yes; ate three OF them today
ct noon. - Yonkers Statesman.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1898-09-22

The languages in Palestine are Ari-
bistan and Hebrew, even the smallest
children speaking the purest Bible He
brew.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1898-09-22

Every square mile of sea con aims
100. 600. 900 fish Of various kinds
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1898-09-22

There are said to be 5. 900 temperance
societies 10 London.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1898-09-22
OMENS ON WARSHIPS.
suPERsTlTloNs WHICH GOVERN OLD
SALTS OF THE NAVY.

Heodoos and Spells which May Work All
Sorts of Evils on Board and Which
Must Be Carefully Guarded Against.
Tf,s Tattooing Habit.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1898-10-06
Klondikers Turn Yellow.

A letter has been received from Will
lam Henderson of Denver, who went to
Dawson City early in the rush. The
letter is under date of July 8. The
writer states that he has been mining
on Dominion creek, where he has a
very promising claim, and had come to
Dawson for his supplies At Dawson
Mr.. Henderson met Frank Haug, an
other Denverite, who had just got in
after being showed up for nearly a
year. He also met Stanley Peace of
this city and others. All the business
in the way of transportation in that
part of the Klondike is done by dogs,
and Mr.. Henderson states that they are
considered very valuable. He wit
messed a sale of two for 81 900, but
Jared better himself, getting three for
s1OO apiece. "There are more dogs in
Dawson" he writes, for the size of
the place than in any city in the world.
}"This is hard community" he says,
"for health. Hundreds of people seem
all broken down. By looking at a man
you can tell whether he has been here
long or not. Those who have been turn
yellow
Mr.. Henderson expects to return tic
Denver next summer.-Denver Times
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1898-10-06
Must Love Men.

Every relation to mankind, OF hate
or scorn or neglect, is full of vexation
and torment. There is nothing to do
with men but to love them; to contem-
plate their virtues with admiration,
their faults with pity and forgiveness.
Task all the ingenuity of your mind
to devise some other thing, but you
can never find it. To hate your adver-
sary will not help you; to kill him
will not help you; nothing within the
compass of the universe. can help you
but to love him. But let that love
flow out upon all around you, and
what could harm you? How many a
knot of mystery and misunderstanding
would be united by one word spoken
in simple and confiding truth Of heart!
How many a solitary place would be
made glad IL love were there, and how
many a dark dwelling would be filled
with light! IS 55
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1898-10-06

would call on me to apologize for her
brothers mistake, and to ascertain If
I was carefully nursed.
Donna Julia soon entered, accompan-
led by her duenna. started with sur
prise and delight as beautiful girl of
about II entered the room and greeted.
me as Senior Americana in the soft
est and sweetest of tones.
Donna Julia made many apologies
for the brothers. almost fatal mistake.
Don Manuel de Monza had fed to his
ranch with Isabelle, who dared not re-
main with Julia lest she should be
kidnapped by Don Pedro during her
husbands absence. Don Manuel was
collecting a sufficient number of sery-
ants to resist any attack on the part
of Don Pedro.
On discovering Isabelle's flight Don
Pedro started in pursuit But not
having force enough he hired number
of Indians, who murdered him for re-
fusing to pay sum of money they re-
quired before Joining the expedition.
On hearing Of the death of his father,
coWardly Garcia fled, dreadlng De Mon
Za's anger; and when Isabelle returned
she found herself in possession Of her
fortune, as by Don Pedro's death it re-
verted to her. 4 .a
Long before my wound was healed
Don Manuel and his bride returned to
Mexico, and I soon became Intimate
with the cavalier whose first meeting
ended SO unpleasantly. Our congenial
tastes made us the best of friends, and
now we are like brothers. M E
Another tie has drawn us together.
BY the time my first wound was healed
l had received more dangerous one
from Donna Julia. But when informed
of my love for her she undertook to
heal the wound by marrying me.--New
York Daily News. Ia
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1898-10-06
German Talk.

Gilbert, the librettist, met Liebling,
the pianist, not long ago, and they say
the Following interchange occurred be-
tween them. Liebling, you must know,
mas an inordinate vanity, and Gilbert,
as you do know, has caustic wit.
Lleb bling Was introduced to Gilbert, and
Gilbert said:
Sir, l have heard Liszt .
Llebling bowed his head in acknowl-
edgment of what he supposed was the
coming compliment.
I have heard Henri Hertz contin-
ued Gilbert
L1ebl1ng bowed still lower.
II have heard Paderewski. =
Llebllng made a genufection even
unto the ground
We'll, SIR concluded Gilbert, in alb
rupt tones, mot one of them, not one
OF them, sir, perspired as profusely as
you do.'-St. Louis Star.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1898-10-06
TWICE WOUNDED.

It was during the summer of 1856
that resided for time in the City Of
Mexico, and at this period occurred the
incident which, with regard to myself,
came near terminating fatally.
A day or two after my arrival in
Mexico / strolled out one evening and,
half unconsciously, took my way to-
ward one of those cool, shady walks
occasionally to be met with on the out
skirts Of the city.
AS I paced slowly on toward part
Of the walk where the trees grew
closer, forming little grove, sudden
~ became conscious of the presence OF
two persons a few steps in advance OF
me- -s
The persons I had just discovered
were gentleman and lady. On OBJ
serving this fact I was relieved of
momentary fear of being set upon by
desperadoes; I presently found my
couple to be a pair of lovers, enjoying
stolen Interview in the little grove,
which I had nearly reached, but check
ed myself in time to prevent discovery
just then, though I did not long avert
it. ist.. a'
The first words, I heard were spoken
by the gentleman.
ely with me tonight, dearest, en-
treat; give me the right to protect you
from the wiles of Don Pedro. Only as
my wife can 1 save you from the per-
secutions of him and his cowardly
son. g., ~
II know it, dear Manuel" replied the
maiden, whose soft, sweet voice quiv-
cred as if in deadly terror. ut was
only this morning I overheard a con-
versation which fully apprised me of
the great power placed in the hands OF
my uncle and guardian, Don Pedro de
Saltillo, a power over me which now
he proposes to share with his treacher-
Gus son, Garcia
"How?" abruptly inquired the cav
alier.
dearest Manuel, my guardian has
tried every means short of personal
violence to inveigle me into marriage
with Garcia. I have heard them plot
ting to secure me at night and carry
me to a deserted ranch at a distance
from the city and there, by the help of
vicious priest, unite me to Garcia.
IF marry without Don Pedro's con-
sent my estates revert to him. I sue
ceeded in escaping tonight, and came
here knowing I should meet you, who
would rescue me from my peril, but you
will take to your heart dowerless
bride, dear Manuel"
Fear not, Isabelle" said her lover.
There is but one course to take-come
with me to my kind old tutor priest
Our marriage shall be performed at
once, and then Don Pedro and Garcia
cannot modest you unless they pass
over my lifeless body"
Hist" whispered the lady, as in my
laundering broke a dry twig, causing
a slight rustic among the shrubbery.
The next moment felt myself grasp
ed tightly by the throat, while a sharp,
Btinging sensation told me that I had
been stabbed. I made an Intellectual
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1898-10-06
AN INTELLECTUAL STRUGGLE.

struggle, but soon sank into uncon-
seriousness.
When I awoke to consciousness was
lying in bed in luxuriously furnish
ed apartment, while beside me sat a
venerable old man in the garb of a
priest. {,
where am II" was my first ques-
ton, as I motioned feebly toward
pitcher Of water on the stand near Bly,
He pressed goblet trimming with
the pure, icy liquid to my lips.
The old mans face inspired me with
onfidence, and I told him the whole
tory. = H.
He started and looked me keenly
s mentioned the names of the lovers
md Donna Isabelles unworthy guar
dian. .g
"And now, holy father, tell me where
I am" asked again, as I finished my
story.
The old priest looked at me steadily
few minutes and then asked: b
"Canst thou keep secret, my son?
One of Importance to these young low
ers? Thou art now in the house of
6 @|oh A7AesAA oSA w 44OdAo, WIZ III LILO
rashness, nearly slew thee as an ennis
sary of Don Pedro de Saltillo. Donna
Isabelle entreated that some one should
Sok after the body as soon as possible,
" she dreaded lest it should be dis
1vered in the grove and her flight be-
ONE known before she could make
ood her escape.
II committed thee to the care OF
Donna Julia, my dear Manuel's lonly
sister. Since thou hast acquitted thy
self of all completely with Don. Pedro
thy treatment shall be that of an hon
ored guest
The priest told me Of the union and
flight of the lovers, imploring me tc
keep secret my adventure in the walk
and grove, as my story might afford the
means wherewith to trace out theil
hiding-place.
Late in the day sank into pro
bund slumber, which lasted until thu
lext morning. Father Ignatius sooI
same to me-. and, after bathing ant
lressing my wound-he was an exper
lurgeon he told me that Donna JUL,
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1898-10-06
College and Business.

SOAAOsS = esAAN ASuSAAOS5s
Last winter ] would rise at ten. .I (
Went to bed at two, sa.3 4
My soul was filled with anguish when
s. I had to brush shoe.
! used to quaff champagne at, night,
a cocktail In the morn,
MY purse and feet were always light
I held our Dean in scorn.
These days / rise at half-past five
And work till half-past six, :.
Then thank the Lord that I'm alive
MY drinks I never mix.
| gladly usher in the church, Nz
My tone is mild and meek,
AS on an office-stool / perch
For dollars five week.
,.,t4, IN. D. Follansbee.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1898-10-06
Worse Than War,

Mrs. Fripley-Ah, this war is ter
rible business. Just think of those
poor men who are lying in the hos
pitfalls. = - s.
Mrs. Nibson-Oh, don't know. 1t
might have been worse If the boys
had been at home INsuppose manysof
them would have had to hear some of,
the summer opera companies we've had
here this season. SIS.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1898-10-06
Statecraft.

Eve must raise money somehow"
said one Spanish, official.
''Yes," replied the other; tbut there's.
only one thing that suggests itself to.
me. Those Americans are exceeding
ly patient and good natured. wonder
if they'd stand an import duty on all
Spanish prisoners landed at our ports.".
Washington Star.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1898-10-06
Racopnized.

One Passenger (loudly)-I should
have liked to hear Of one good battle
in Cuba-such as Gettysburg.
Another Passenger (quietly)-so
would all the other pension agents.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1898-10-06
Unlucky.

1T might have been different" sigh
ed the young king of Spain, .'if I had
been christened some other name but
'Alphonso.'"
Why, dear?" tenderly asked his
mother. zaEg
Because" responded the king, saw
agely, IF my name was Dennis, or any
other old thing, wouldn't be Alphon-
so the Thirteenth
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1898-10-06


she had put the china in the far cup
board. Il she saw me I should get no
candlestick, for wasn't it always pol
1shed on a. Saturday night, and always
jealousy kept from children's hands.
till towards the end Of the week? And
an appeal to higher powers, even il
successful, would cause delay which
might be fatal
I slipped in, trembling with eager
ness.
Alas! The candlestick was on the
top shelf.
I climbed quickly on to the broad,
lower shelf, and secured the treasure;
but Mrs. Jones was coming back. 1
stood still, hardly breathing, holding
on to the top shelf with one hand and
the candlestick with the other. Is1ad
slipped the matchbox into my pocket.
was Mrs. Jones coming into the, soul
lery, or going back to the kitchen
What a relief! It was towards the
Kitchen she turned. l sprang down
from the shelf as noiselessly as posi-
Bile, and flew out of the door.
MRS. Jones, hearing a noise, came
out, but too late.
What be We up to now" she call
ed after me. Some mishtiff, I'll be
bound" r. ..=.s'. ::
But was half way through the sta
bles.
What a time you've been!' said
Dora, when 10 arrived, crimson and
GREATNESS. Have you got matches?''
They're in my pocket. 1 was near
~ caught again." answered. IT had
to wait. Have any more tumbled
in?" - % 1-.S.... .-. ~
NO, don't think so''
Dora lit the candle put it in the
basket, and lowered it carefully. We
all watched the point of light go down,
down into the darkness. Then it
stopped 49, -, t...g
Il expect the bad air will put the
candle out" said Jamie. lH=s
But | suppose the air was not very
bad, for the candle burnt fairly well,
and by it's light we could see three
little kittens with shining eyes.
the kittens looked at the light in
Inc basket and up at us. -, 81
Then we drew it up again, took the
light out, and sent the basket down
empty, ~. .a5
After a few moments of breathless
waiting we started it on it's return
journey. sE I'll
cts heavier!" cried Dora; .I'm
sure there's a kitten in it,"
Jamie leant down with the candle,
and there, sure enough, was little
black kitten, looking very frightened,
but sitting quite safely in the basket.
AS soon as it was near enough, I
snatched it out and kissed it, and then
made Jack sit on the chaff, and put
the kitten in his lap. - -.
Then the basket was sent down again,
and one more little black face appear
ed when the basket came up to the
/ light
The second kitten was given to
Jack, and the basket sent down again,
and again came up with it's living bur
den.
Then we sat down together. on the
heap of chat, forgetting Sunday dresses
and rejoiced over the kittens, with
tear or two over the unfortunate fourth
whose cries had ceased
We &speculated as to how they had
got down there, and concluded that
one had crept through between the
boards at the back and slipped down,
and that the rest, hearing it's cries, had
followed one by one.
We always thought it was very clev-
er OF the kittens to know that that
basket was the way to safety. and the
upper world.-Margaret Wilson.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1898-10-06
A Queer Case.

singular fellow, that Berkeley
81 never noticed it.. In what way is
he different from other folks?' s Z
GIVE never heard him say that he
would go to Cuba or Porto Rico to
make his fortune if he were only a
single man."
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1898-10-06
Ito the Bitter End"

95g9389 - Che 13ltCer EnU.' I}7 885Ea.
I'VE will fight till the last" said the
Spanish commander.
Till the last man is killed." asked
the American commander.
4 NO" replied the Spaniard. "Tlll
the last man surrenders.''
And the bitter end showed that he
was right.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1898-10-06
A Useful Education.

"My class will soon be in percent
age, papa" said Benny Bloobumper.
sGoou," replied Mr.. Bloobumper.
"Then you can figure out the standing
of the base ball clubs for me-
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1898-10-06
A Thinker.

Greymair-My wife is such
thoughtful woman.
Betterhaws-So's mine. You couldn't
imagine all the things she thinks about
me if 1 happen to be detained down
town.-Chronicle Telegraph.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1898-10-06
OUR BUDGET Or FUN.
SOME GOOD JOKES, ORIGINAL
AND SELECTED.

a Variety of Jokes Jibes and Ironics
Original aud Selected nc Flotsam and
Jets am from the Tide OF Humor :.
Witty Sayings.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1898-10-06
Angular,

Clara-You want to be careful, dear,
when you have on your new wrap, not
to lean your shoulder against anything.
Maude-Why?
u Clara-You might make a hole in it.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1898-10-06
Her Platform.

Mr.. Wilkins DO you believe in an
nexation?
Miss .Bidsley-Oh, Arthur, this is 80
sudden. But if you can gain papa's
consent I will try to learn to love you.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1898-10-06
He Got Her.

"Humph!" growled the multi-mil-
lionaire, $50 you want my girls hand,
do you? Have you lots Of enterprise? 2"
Well, retorted the hearty swain,
I'm after the only daughter of just
about the richest and meanest man in
these parts. New York World.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1898-10-06
The Only Preventative.

Only one event could have pre-.
vented the sinking OF my fleet said
the Spanish admiral in a burst Of con-
fdence.
And that was q cried out the
eager reporter.
The draining Of the Caribbean Sea-.
whispered Cervera
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1898-10-06
A Necessary Crime.

Celebrated Lawyer: Now tell me,
honestly, did you rob that bank?
Client Gin disgust): OF course did.
Do yer 'spose I'd be able to retain yer
if I didn't?
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1898-10-06
The Main One.

Gel. Pepper -''That Maine disaster
was terrible, wasn't it p
Major Kaintuck- Outrageous! Just
think of introducing prohibition in q
civilized state!'
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1898-10-06
A WISE OLD SQUIRE.

A rare old book which would delight
the heart of every boy who has in
him, the making of manly man is the
Life of Thomas Assheton Smith"
who for half century was the first
hunter in England, and of whom Ma
poleon is reported to have said, '"That
grand chasseur can control horses as
I do men. - - @ ria
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1898-10-06

Evaded.

The Policeman What's your
trade ?'
The Suspect " An ironworker.''
Is that sc? III I'll see what you know
about it. I used to be in the trade
myself
IL mean in laundry !" Indianap.
oils Journal.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1898-10-06
a Noble sohen,e

d She hat would you do II you had
Russell Sage's money!
Open up free soup houses Tor
childless millionaires.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1898-10-06

emo horse,' he used to say, Fever
told me lie. A horse is born gentle
man." Another of his maxims was,
''The man who is a friend of horses
should be clean, honorable and fit to
be companion of ladies'" He sternly
discountenanced drink, gambling, and
all vices common among men of his
class and time. No horse which he
owned was ever allowed to work on
Sunday. God had put this dumb bro
Their in his care, with a command,
and he obeyed it. "A dog,' he often
said, "never trusts a man who has
tricked him once. 1 could not meet
his eyes if I had lied to him. The
good old squire has long been dead, but
we can learn from him even now how
to win respect from companions who
can speak and from those who are
dumb. ,ms = ..s@
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1898-10-06
Living and Learnins,

There was a man In our town
Who thought he knew lot,
Till a shell game artist sauntered down
And showed him what was what.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1898-10-06
MetaphoricaI.
was very fast.

Mrs. Al heard him say that May
was very fast.
Mr.. Bills horse is named May.
Mrs. A.-Yes; but SO is my daughter.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1898-10-06
A Heartless Thing,

First Veteran-Well, what did your
girl do when you met fall on your
necksand weep?
Second Veteran she offered to
lend me Is cents to get a clean shave.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1898-10-06
Barred ont.

barred Out.
q You are not printing much war noe.
try now { said q caller to the editor
.'No; have erected trocha. ~
Judge. !.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1898-10-06
A New Excuse.

4 Office Boy--May I have this after
noon, sir? want to see the baseball
game. s
Employer Tin surprise)- What, has
the last of your relatives been buried?
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1898-10-06

stNow I know them and they know
me-" he would say, and ever after the
dogs would come bounding to meet
him. In the morning the packs would
rush from the kennels to the park
gates and wait, painting with eagerness
for him to come out. sSs
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1898-10-06
His OCCUPATION.

$50 you are engaged in literary pur-
suits, Ell? What is your particular
line? ....#
Chasing after the books my friends
borrow and then lend around to every
body they know"