The Newtown bee., 1898-09-16
LitChfeld County.
WATERFOWL.

the latter's tricks and pranks.
Mr. Preside and Bro her Crocodiles:
am fully aware that my audience contains
A good supply OF common sense, good sup
ply OF brains.
know the average Crocodile knows more
in one short minute
Than DO in a life time, and feel that 1 am
not In it.
My stock OF that commodity which people
call concert
Has pretty much deserted me. and had 1 been
discreet
should have been more backward ere Civ
ing my consent.
To try and fill the atmosphere with rhymes
not worth a cent.
But apologies are Odious and nothing but
bore,
So I'll procued to show youuf you know it
How can sing cheap nonsense among my
fellow men,
And help to pass away the time by word OF
mouth and pen.
Since eighteen hundred and seventysix
have heard of the Crocodiles' pranks and
tricks,
How they meet at Compounce in the fall of
the year,
And I'LL up their stomachs with mutton and
beer.
And Harrison cider, that drink of all drinks,
To put on the capsheaf and fill up the chinks.
This puts buckwh at cider away in the shade
But cannot say hon this beverage is made.
Some think the Ingredients are onn huge
trees grow,
But am convinced that TINS cannot be SO,
For @ tree to yield fruit sufficient to make
All the Harrison cider that Crocodiles take
Would reach to the clouds and shade plan
tation,
And such trees are scarce in this little Gre
alton;
But among Crocodiles it is well understood
That Harrison cider is most mighty good.
But Brother Brown hints, II / do not mistake,
That Sunday school scholars had best not
partake.
They tell some queer tales about gay CrocO-
dies,
Which alternately moves one to weeping and
smiles
Two or three, I'll relate, strictly true 1 could
wish,
But they sound somewhat strangely and saw
OF fish,
Had a curious experience which I've here
jotted down.
They were driving from here, chuck full OF
roast sheep,
When up towards the heavens they happened
to peep
Through the leaves on the trees, and were
led to suppose
That the neighboring air was infested with
crows.
One man never known to do anything rash
Hltched up his old horse with his head to.
ward the dash.
One saw q great serpent with aspect so wild,
That the evil one seemed companion most
mild
When compared with the monster he saw on
that day.
What became OF his snakeship he never could
say,
For ever since then he has kept out of sight,
And sincerely hope he will do 80 tonight.
But the saddest mishap to the Crocodiles here
Must have been when the sheriff ran of with
the beer.
How the tears must have flowed, as they
watched it depart
No doubt 1t broke many Crocodile heart.
have simply heard this, / would have my
friends know,
For the first Of my coming was but one year
ago.
Yes, only last year did | come to this shore
And I've grieved ever since that 1 came rot
before.
AAt@'A 4IOAiN "a pump LIlAl WAS Tr6es
And came here expecting that object to see
Very likely that pump was quite easy to find,
But did not see Tit quite slipped my mind.
Yes, came for some water and forgot all
aboutit,
But didn't feel thirsty the least bit without
it.
There's another rare dish which the Croco-
diles eat
And laud to the skies every year that they
meet
refer to that bully fried corn, by the way,
And trust there's none WHOM dispute what 1
say.
Our mothers and wives have cooked orr
sweet corn,
And we have called it good since the day we
were born.
My mother and wife are to me very dear.
But their corn cooking qualities seemed to
appear
Decidedly slim and not up to the scratch:
To state ii quite mild, they seemed only
patch,
After tasting the corn at last years barbecue
And L think twas the case with perhaps not
few.
To you charter members, word might be
said,
In eulogy here to the honorable dead.
AS you gather today, your thoughts cannot
Dub WhuueF
TO Brother Cad Norton. who has passed over
yonder,
To that bourn from which travellers return
never more,
Where the weary find rest when life's trials |
are over.
Respected by all through long useful life,
Lamented by all when he gave up the strife. |
To you, younger members, right here might |
say,
Ere your forms have grown old and your
heads have grown gray.
A character build, so when life's work is |
done
That the living may say that your race was
well run.
I'm different man, as Ia plain to be seen,
Brought up in the woods and decidedly green,
Which handicapped mo in earlier life,
And made me quite late about getting wife.
strange Rs 1t may seem, there are others who
wait
And linger outside the hymeneal gate,
Either from fear or their bills to retrench.
By the way, what's the matter with Presi
dent French2
Oh, President French, ere the subject is droo.
ped,
Allow me to say it is high time you popued:
man OF your size needs to fear nothing hu-
man,
Dnless IL ls something much worse than a
woman.
There are schoolteachers, dressmakers, wild.
ows, old maids,
Who would quit their duh schooIrooms mr.
give up their trades,
I they only could marry good robust man.
Vow. don't say you can't, for we all know Won
can.
word to the wise Is sufficient they say,
10 I'll now drop the sabject till some other
day,
N hopes all old bachelors, ere we meet here
again,
VIM have come to their senses and become