davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1898-12-11
From he Dallas. Ter. NstOs.

"" ~ Vttue - 4FeWss
1T is strange that / can't get my wife to
mend my clothes" remarked Mr.. Bride In a
tone OF disgust. II asked her to sew abutton
on this vest this morning. and she hasn't
touched IT,"
"You asked her!' said Dir. Norris. with q
slight shruR Of his shoulders,
Yes. h else should l do?"
You haven't been married very long, so
perhaps you'll take a tip. from me" answered
Mr.. Norris. with a fatherly air. Never ask q
woman to mend anything. That's fatal"
why. what do you mean 2"
DO as / do. When want a shirt mended.
for instance, I take II In my hand and hunt up
my wife, Where's the rag bag. Mrs. Norrisf'
What do you want u rag bag forr' she says
Hi want to throw this shirt away it's all
worn out / reply.
But put the garment behind my back,
No. my dear i answer. There Is no use IN
your attempting to do anything with It.
Let me see It, she reiterates.
But it's all worn out, / tell you.'
Nov. John, give me that shiTtr she says In
her most peremptory tone.
hand over the garment.
triumph, this is a perfectly good shirt All Il
xad then she msnds 1t"
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1898-12-11
PORTER SAT UP WITH $1,000 o
Forced to Hold n Mexican Mining Kings
Fortune While the Latter Slept.

! From the Kansas City Journal.
Mr.. {. P. Wheeler. the mining king OF HUI
mulco. Mexico. has much cause for congratu-
lating himself that he fell in with an honest
man when he boarded the Santa Fe limited at
Albuquerque last Thursday on his journey
East He is manager for his own valuable
property there. and also looks aftef the inter-
ests Of several nonresident syndlcates and
handles large quantities Of cash all the time.
When he was shown his berth in the sleeper
Estes. in charge of Conductor Breed Of Chi
cage and Porter W. II. Hubbell of Kansas City.
he informed the porter that he intended to sur;
all the attention that was required. Mr.. Hub
bell has. been in the, Pullman service long
enough en9 q to k1GW " exactly nSf@id What was REQUIRED;
= Prior to falling asleep Mr.. Wheeler called
Porter Hubbell to him and said he had some
cash he wanted to turn over for safekeeping.
Mr.. Hubbel declined to take it. but decllna-
sEnpl u calledF the w ports sFf 70 i him and h loaSde sfR hi M
up with his yalua6les. He reached down In his
handed them TO the porter with the Injunction
to take care Of It during the night. Mr. Hub
n neta sHu and ~ Scn Sdae fBE rseg9 and MN n. !: ] % &idT rich
Of Aurora. ILL.,. and A. NJ. ,Mowry Of Chicago
w wers 6iiis te Of a sie66o do9 95 she sGlSss IN ph tSs
said he . was going to siH lh out t. right there re, +.t.
the rest Of e" and he ashed out Of his pockets
O dozen drafts and q letter of credit for sums
asgregatlng more than l00.0O0 more and
handed them to the porter and then rolled into
his berth and quietly went to sleep.
Al that night Mr.. Hubbell sat in the opposite
berth. watching the Stun Der OF the miner. Mob
once did he let his eyes close in sleep. nor did
he take the roll out OF his hand all night.
The next morning the miner awoke and.
without the slightest. air of surprise. had his
fortune returned to him, He took il as a sim
pie matter, and promised to reward tho porter
for his kindness, and Friday night. when the
train reached Kansas City, Mr.. HuSbell was
called to the berth and the miner dropped into
his hand two twonty-dollar gold coins. 1t was
q tip that was SO liberal the porter was aston
ished. but the miner made 1t still better by pre-
sentinR him with u miners heavy o~vercoat. q
creation that Is made to weather any expe-
riences the winter in the mountains may bring,
Mr.. Hubbell arrived from his run yesterday.
He said he had never encountered such an OK:
perience before, although no has had years OF
experience in the service. He admitted he was
delighted to get rid Of the cash and heaved Q
great sigh Of relief when 1t was safely returned
and the big miner tucked 1t snugly away down
In his capaclous bootleg.
I've had lots of tips and seen plenty OF
money, but IT makes, q man feel queer to have
$3l 900 in clean new bills In his possession and
the owner sound asleep oil tho time" he de.
clared. II am always willing to care for our
passengers. but i hope the Mexican miners
ride with me-"
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1898-12-11

10 GROSS. Imagine the despair Of the poor
soul who has lost his way In one Of the sud-
There are no rescuinR monks "a In the Alps;
no possibility OF being. saved, such as buoys
mp the shipwrecked sailor ; no chance OF COM
ing TO an oasis as might happen 10 a desert
wanderer nothing but miles and miles OF Ice.
scared and torn by yawning crevasses. whose
depths are flooded by. roaring waters. Many
have persisted in them of whom no one has
ever heard.
Seattle on Oct. 10. The old man OF our party
stood on the. beach. penniless and CRYING.
into Prince William Sound"
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1898-12-11
Caught n jug of Medicine While Oyster
longing.
From he Baltimore Sun,

ST. MICHAEL's. Md, Dec. 7.-While longing
caught u gallon demijohn filled with whiskey.
The covering OF willow wicker around tho jug
had decayed and five large oysters were found
growing upon it,, The FISHERMAN and some OF
his companions tasted the liquor and said 1t
iE s un Known Know; buy BUY h must 81 Have ' BEEN m the %atI 9r
years. A most singular story in connection
with the lucky find Is that the oysterman had u
was longing near him. suggested that a littlo
whiskey and glycerine would, help him, The
oysterman replied that he could readily get the
glyoerine. but did not know whore TO get the
whiskey. He moved away from those with
whom he had been conversing and had Just
gallon demlohn Of Whiskey.
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1898-12-11
Heavy Western Porkers.

ETO" 'e N'Ht N""''' S""'Ho'
CINcINNATI. Dec. 4.-On Friday last there was
received at the Union Stockyards a hog which
was shipped TO the, firm by boat on the Ohio
River from Kentucky. a ~well-known buyer
giving II two good. meals, repacked II and
shipped It to one OF. his customers at Dayton,
o, The hog was exhibited there before being
slaughtered,
This is tho largest hog ever sold in the local
market with one exception. About two weeks
Weighing 020 pounds, or 30 pounds more
than the kentucky production. This one came
from Indiana. and was the largest ever seen by
many Of tho old pork deAleEk
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1898-12-11

None here put In the dealer.
at them quickly, Then no stuck them behind
the others; I'm start this on $1,000 he said.
bet. He went 5000 more; The Colonel
raised ANOTHER $4,000. Welch saw It, and
raised sn9tfher. and the Colonel raised still an
"'Well, I've Just got $4,000 here you can
hand. I've got only $1,000 he said. and I
think you've got me. even II 1t is u bad thing
With that Wallace tossed the cards on tho
table end Meioh took the pot. was a clean
seQuently showed. The Colonel had held up
q pair OF Jacks, his openers. and AN ace. on
the draw he caught all ace and a seven of dia-
monds .Welch had only a pair of fyes to
start with. 9nd, he kept them, with the rest Of
the hand. Wallace thought he was bluffing.
but lost his nerve at the, wrong moment
When, the game ended the Colonel had barely
$4,000. He bought back two of his slaves that
were lost. and the twenty-five went 10 Welch.
They were sold In the o a month later"
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1898-07-17
HE PAID FOR HIS DINEER
The san Francisco Examiner.

From The san Francisco Examiner.
when the North Dakota regiment arrived At 4.
ferry on Tuesday they were. like the soldiers n.
preceded them shown into the spacious dim,
room presided over by the ladies' Of the Red Cru
II was a good day for the soldier boys II. n
OF fare was ample.
And perhaps the soldiers did not enjoy il, 4
fcw of them had been overcome by the long n,
hut the ma iority of them were blessed with n,
appctitc-the soldiers best friend
one Of the privates in particular enjoyed \,
reDlst immensely, and when he finished ae ~
back IN his chair and said.
"Goer
Did YOU get enough to eat?' asked beax.:
society girl at his side. her face beamng vi
kindness
Il should say So said the soldier. rising "Ti,
The finest meal I've had since We started"
Then he looked at the pretty girl and fumbst ,
his uocket Finally he found what he 0.t
inc for and extended his hand with ten cents e I,
What Is that asked the society bud. "a
dimul!ng her pretty face.
That's for the M al" said the private. SCI
what embarrassed At her manner.
ION We don't charge for this she said II
luncheon IL given By the Red Cross
oh" he stlmmered. and his embarraisc,s
dceprucd "We-ell. you take This. anyhow "
buy some gum. Or something for yourself"
Ten cents
Her father j. worth a million.
And the soldiers Income Is only bout
The pretty bud thought for A while She CIV
II would 10 the young fellows heart good L u
took the money She would take II.
But you must let me give you some fovn'
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1898-07-17
EMBARRASSING QUESTIONS.
Frum The You.h.. Companion.

From The Y1uth's Companion
simple question put in Parliament = few years
ago caused laugh throughout all England. and 81
Secretary FOR India. making a long and ei3ho-
siuou regarding that dependency : certain 20 re
rupees He repeated wiki emphasis: Consider Not
pounds nor glincas. but laos OF rupees.
quiet voice on the opposition bsnches asked:
Exactly how much is "A lac OF rupees
Mr.. Curzon opened his mouth, stammcrcd. grew
red. and then. with fn pSi candor. said: Il really
don't know" The House laughed. and in that laugh
hc lost his cause
somewhat simila- scene occurred many years
ago IN Congress present OF Arabian horses, "A
sword. etc. arrived from the Imam Of Muscat for
President Adams. \ Western member with some
heat. moyri that the gift should be sent back with
letter from Congress. informing the ruler OF Mus
cat That the President OF the United States was no
King. but tho servant Of the people. and was not
permitted % give or receive presents
Another member arose. Such letter Mr.
Speaker" he said. "cln easily Dee written But
where ~ II 10 be sent? Where is Muscatr'
There was no response. Apparently not "A mem
Der OF the lIoJsc was prepared TO answer, nor
could Muscat be found in any atlas published In
the country II WAS found ut last German
map civil answer was returned. and the geog-
raphcrs made haste TO insert Muscat in the next
editions OF their maps.
Nothing pcrforates bOmbastic oratory llka a
sharp question. When Burke. In the height OF a
labored peroration In Parliament against Franco
drew dagger aad threw 1t OH the floor. some
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1898-07-17
REASONED LIKE A NAN.

WHAT SHOULD BE DONE If THE BABY
WAS A RESPONSIBLE BEING.
isn't that baby Of ours gifted with high in
telligence7"
IL should think it was about time you saw
that Every one else has known il for months
Everybody says that he's the finest baby they
ever saw"
'Physically7"
-Every way"
Does ne know anything?-
How can you ask such a question: He
knows everything"
when you say he knows everything you mean
that he has some sort of dim Consciousness OF
the scenes and objects around him"
II mean that he actually knows He knows
well as you or l."
"Do you suppose that he knows the difference
between right and wrong as well. for instance
as Ponto does
"Oh. please don't compare your own child To
a dog"
''Ponto is four years old Hes very bright
and h. certainly knows the difference between
right and wrong Now. the baby s only sX
months old end could hardly Dee expected g.
know
'How blind and absurd you men are"
"Do you really think that he has moral sense
Il am not going 10 answer any such absurl
question"
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1898-07-17

him. This HIS confirmed his course. He iinis
that 'hr more trouble h. makes In. better IN
Is O." Itrd- Naturally he devuies ii much Of
his time as he can spa,e to making trouble"
And"
"Wel. u Ee found that when hs WIS unpleas-
ant n made matters unpleasant FOR him. thnt
instead " being sOothed ana petted and carried
about hs WIS laid acr1gs The maternal Russ
and"
What six-nnnths-0id infant \ pour. irl-
nocent little Thing that does not know anything
AZ all And YOU actually would think 1f-hut
yOL reason TX. a man-just exactly Ike A man
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1898-07-17
wall OF distress: it Il the full-lunged below OF

wall OF distress; 1t II the full-lunged below OF
commanding insolence. Every yell ID COIL
mand, and If he Is not instantly oDeyeo ne pW,-
ishes US with dreadful uproar. He won't hc
stjl, n moment. not even after being fed some
one must carry him all the time. And lately ne
has become fantastic in nis tastes, and demands
that the person carrying him shall perform
Jig step as he walks. II he was In PAM now
would say nothing; but you yourself say 'na'
h. never has any pain: and he proves it by the
wav no smiles the very moment he gets MS
own vav. He turns his double chin and looks
at you with broad. good-natured grin. sucn as
a blase Oriental potentate might pes'o" OF
obedent slaves
What are you talking about, and what do
you mean"'
why. I mean just this. my dear, that II ne ID
really a responsible being, like Ponto. 1t Is your
duty to reverse your past course Of procedure
Whenever he sees 1T to be disagreeable ana 10
introduce discord in the family circle you nave
taken pains to be as agreeable as possible 10
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1898-07-17

"Isut, seriously truly do you!
He has just as much as you or L
you really believe that?~
II know It"
HAS he any reasoning powerr
Most certainly he has,
Enough to enable him to trace the connection
between cause and efrectr'
"Of course"
"Supposing that he did something and the
consecuences were agreeable. Would he know
enough to do II again.
Decidedly, ne would"
And II the consequences were unpleasant
would he leave it undoner'
You know very well that he would"
mo. was In doubt about IT, Now that you've
settled that just let me suggest something for
the sake Of family peace That baby Ia con-
coded to be the healthest little animal In the
neighborhood. He's AS fat as butter and as
strong as n little horse Yet the moment he
wakes out Of sleep he sets up yell mat can
be heard on the next block 1t isn't weak
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1898-07-17
4 FIGHTER or THE Old SCHOOL
From The Detroit Free Press.

FROM me Detroit fffe irrSs.
Some men are born naval fighters. declares y
old Detroter who served on man-of-wr as =
"a his years would permit and they are l-s.
liable 10 be born In the woods as whore the r0I "
the sea reaches TEN by day and night
My father used 10 tell Of 4 captain VINO y.
fame AS hard and skfIl fighter under ths : :
naval regime. Through an exercise ~ politics :
fuence he was appointed mishipnan from /,
mote rural district OF North Carolina IN 'hs =,
pacity he made his first appearance upoh, !.
frigatc He gazcd about him In open-mouthei, !.
constituent and. finally. going 20 the centre o. I'd
deck looked into the hold His impression w Wa -
he was being hoaXcd. but surprise gained ths = u.
terry. and In bewildered way he cNc.amed' >"
gosh. she's holcr' .rn
after he had reached I captaircy ana W,EJ u,
IN port for few davs one of TIE ir.ehuss - =:
petty officer who had been having TOO ns sI -,
ashore reported the young mans arrest tIe -
tans first talk Was about bomhfrdng Tue W.
and hanging the mayor at the yard arms, n
" No use In that smiled the intermedlAis M
bailed him out and will fix the thing peACs ~.
" Baled him out2 roared the captain t ~.
maroon him. He's left to his fate. Wher, e., g". u
my men disgraces the Navy by gettin so t '.. ,J
you have 10 bale him out throws on the '"'
aban'ons him. , %
"Yet that same captain was one Of The most ~
eessful Of the old-tlme navy men,"
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1898-07-17
NrmvoRK TRJRIJNE ILLUSTRATED SUPPLEMENT-

body made the act absurd by sayin, .v.
the knife. Where's the forkr' les. u,n
Equally sharp was the reply OF Pom. p,
with him on the suferings in certain Wiz. scondssl
earthquake and famine. images M
How m, much M, are ,I you 1o sorry, my brothren.,
The only answer possible to this questIoyy welshs
relief Of the villages vas n
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1898-07-17
THE NEW DTPSOUiyTl

From Punch.
According to the Paris correspondent 4,
R IN tub into Which R Rgndred r twenty
have been poured is a most invgora Tin" aiyolrs
and the operation can be repeated a h,rnd, TIocsa
over with the same bathful. Moreover tn tins
not lost even then. 1t can be drunk tshs b
one hundred baths the Malvoise is distilIaSe d,
the result is a delicious brandy" AZ
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1898-07-17

she said And as she pinned bouonniere &C =
lapel she dropped hye-dolldr gold piece
pocket
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1898-07-17

Wife-By the way Cli'e. had a letter from =
banker while you were away. He said | had 9s
drawn my account.
Husband-Ycs. dear; and what al you do Of,
Wife, told him not 10 be 30 rude again, Az
sent him check for the amount Punch.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1898-07-17
Old simon the soaker now Keeps a ra,a a.,

Old Simon the Soaker now keeps a rare s,o..
OF Malmsey and Malvoisie s
In tubfuls OF hundreds OF litres or more
For vinOus old soul is he-e.
4 porous old soul is he.
In these novel additions he never doth fall
He waows and welters in wine by the nan
Yet ne never wineth. nell senilely say. ''
While he dips in his sober six hogsheads a..
For no, no. no, he'll chuckle and crow aT
A hundred times Ger in this bath I'll goi
While no. no, hol his nose doth show
Where some Of the Malmsey at length doth 81,
Dame Margery sits in her own stll-room
And an elderly flebes she
From thence Oft % curfew IS waited a FUN.
Which is not unlike eau de vie.
Which is very like eau Dc vie
But there's A small boiler behind tho back S,,,.
And the maids say they often smell alcohol ~
While Margery hints she's lately been told ~''
Of now tangled way 10 make youthful the Ala,
And no. no. no, old Simon doth know W.
Where the rest Of his Malyoise doth 20,
Yes no. no. no. the Old soaker doth know
Where the rest Of his Malvoise doth go,
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1898-06-05
WASH ROLLERS.
BATH TUBS.
DISH PANS.

100 cases American Beauty
Toilet Paper. 1000 sheet pack
ages, very fine quality. regular
15c or two for CSC. Sale e.
price, per package ........ ~
Limit 10 packages to Gus
toner.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-12-20

Trusts and corporations in Austria,
like similar organizations in America
have discovered ways to circumvent
the requirements of the government.
The Vienna correspondent of the Lon
don Chronicle says that there was a
meeting called recently of the share
holders of the Prayer Eisen Industrie
Gesellschaft, one of the most powerful
iron concerns on the continent. 1t
leaked out that the object of the meet
ing was to distribute reserve funds Of
97 1000, 900 ($35, OOO, OOO) clandestinely ac-
cumulated in the course of years and
never appearing in the balance sheets.
This, it seems, is not allowed in Aus
tria, just as trusts are not allowed to
exist under the laws of the United
States. But the Austrian government
is not run in the interest of the trusts,
so the government ordered an investi-
cation based on suspicion that the
directors are guilty of stock jobbery
AS a result, the president Of the con-
Germ has resigned, and his resignation
has been followed by that of two di-
rectors of the Credit Anstalt, who have
also been directors Of the iron company.
The scandal has caused an outcry for
a reduction in the iron duties.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-12-20

the foreign trade, for Japan has not yet
developed the machinery for taking
care of it. But it is not from this fact
that discomfort springs among the
lower classes in Japan.
The count says that in the present
depressed commercial condition of the
country there is a loud outcry for more
capital, but he does not think that
would relieve the situation.
He thinks the country is still very
backward in intellectual culture, and
that more general and thorough educa-
ton is necessary before it will be ade-
quately equipped for the new RESPONSE
bilities of government and business
which are before it. But with education
will come the ability to distinguish be-
tween justice and injustice, between
wise and dishonest legislation, between
good and bad financial systems, and
the demand for reforms will be more
frequent and the outcry more persist
emit. Intellectual culture will benefit
the race, but it will not satisfy the de-
mands of hunger. 1t will make a peo-
pie more capable of enforcing their
rights, perhaps, but it will only hasten
the inevitable conflict between greed
and humanity.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-12-20

was trimmed and burning for the bride
groom with his fee. Kegwin's reputa-
ton for benevolence spread and none
were afraid to call him up at un-
seasonable hours. for his season ex-
tended through the years and all the
hours thereof. The record he kept
shows that he had united in the neigh
borhood of 10000 couples in his time,
the most of them, of course, being from
Kentucky
This means that one Hoosier justice
of the peace received. at least 500, 900
from Kentucky candidates for matri-
mony- And the Ohio river is lined with
such officials
Kentucky should arouse herself to
the situation, shake off her lethargy,
encourage the home marriage fees
within her borders. change her vigorv
Gus laws and pay more attention to the
infant industries of the commonwealth.
There is no reason why Indiana
should be allowed to reap the benefits
of Kentucky moonlight nights. moon
shine" being commonly regarded as
Kentucky's best crop.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-12-20

Dochney whit to tn meetin' an whin
his name was called he hollered Aye
so loud a chunk " plasther fell out iv
tn ceilin' an stove in tn head iv a
rayform alderman"
Did they hang him?" asked Mr..
Hennessy.
Faith, they did not" said Mr..
Dooley. He began missin' his jooty
at wanst. Aldermen always do that
after tn first few weeks. 'Ye got ye' er
money says Father Kelly, an much
good may it do ye,' he says. We'll,
says Dochney, I'd be a long time pray
in mesilf into five thousan',' he says.
An he become a leader in tn council.
TIL las ordinance he inthrojooced was
wan establishin' a license FIR churches
an compellin thin to keep their
fr- ront dure closed an the blinds
drawn on Sundah. He was expelled
fir m tn Saint Vincent de Paul's an
ilicted director iv a bank tn same
dav.
Now Hinnissy, that there man
niver knowed he was bribed-th' first
time. TIL second time he knew. He
asst FIR it. An I wudden't hang
Dochney. I wuddent if I was sthrong
enough. But some day I'm goin' to
let me temper r-run away with me an
get a comfy together an go out an
hang ivry dam wildly an orphan be
tween tn rollin' mills an tn foundlin's
home. If it wasn't FIR thin raypechi-
Gus crathers they'd be moo Doodle amy
where"
well, don't forget Simpson" said
Mr.. Hennessy.
81 won't" said Mr. Dooley. 81 won't