The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1898-05-12
A GREAT sEcHET OUT.
The Disappearance OF Pins Is mt Las,
Accounted For wxsh-
ington Man.

In confirmation of q discovery oil
the distinguished pale biologist as to
the gizzard functions oXthe vermiform
appendix, and, furthef, that it is now
almost true gizzard IA woman, but
only rudimentary in man, the following
will perhaps explain:
Appendicitis is the name of the dis
ease that affects this rudimentary giz-
zard of man, and the reason why wom-
an is not affected like man in the same
degree of severity is because the APP
pendix is more like true gizzard in
woman than it is i'll man. This is shown
in girlhood. As you stated in your ex-
cellent editorial recently, "many birds
swallow as far as the gizzard small peb-
bles that aid the process of atfrition of
food" etc. Again, while it is fully es-
tablished that man is Gerivative of the
former mammal and bird, it may be
yet established that woman sderivative
is mostly from the bird creation only.
At this season of the year we observe
that the domestic hen when she
scratches the gravel for her highly con-
centrated food, such asswerns, larvae
and seeds of all kirds, noe All then
swallows piece of gravel to assist her
digestion. For the same purpose the
schoolgirl of to-day consumes pickles,
slate pencils, chalk, blue clay, ashes,
etc, and it meets d craving of nature.
Gum chewing wastes the saliva that is
needful for digestion, and the appendix
vermiformis or gizzard of the school
girl performs its functions to aid di-
gestion.
Our schoolboys by active exercise and
their predatory habits do not need ma
terial for the gizzard to help digestion,
and the result is that in adult life the
vermiform appendix of man is shy of
its gizzard function and therefore sub
iect to disease. What becomes of all the
pins manufactured is question that
has puzzled every editor of newspaper
or magazine in the land.
Thirty-five billions of pins are an
nually manufactured in the United
States and the waste of pins still goes
II.
often found pins in the craws OF the
domestic hen. l suppose the hen needs
them in her business or she would not
swallow them. The daughters of our
revolutionary fathers met here in ses-
sion fortnight or so ago. A CORE
spondent or reporter noticed the fol-
lowing: The ladies who made the
speeches had the sheets of paper con-
tanning their remarks carefully pinned
together. AS each one proceeded with
her speech she would detach sheet
and put the pin in her mouth. Then
she would detach another sheet and put
another pin in her mouth. She kept
this up for several minutes and yet she
continued talking all the while" The
pins go into the mouth, but never re-
appear. 1t may be that woman is not
affected with the dTfaded appendicitis
because she makes Epincushion of this
worthless appendix or degenerated gig
zard. The inference is, therefore, if the
men portion of the human race learn
to swallow pins they would be free from
| appendicitis. Preliminary education in
boyhood would be necessary to this ac-
complishment, however, since, as we
have seen, it takes pickles, slate pencils,
chalk, etc, in early life to fit this worth
less gizzard for the function of a pin
cushion in adult life. That the vermi-
form appendix is a rudimentary gizzard
| think is settled beyond further con-
troversy, but as you say in your edi-
torial of March %, IF this theory be
correct a curious paradox is presented
That is, when in use or performing its
proper functions, it can receive the
hardest material and the most indi-
gestible substances and get away kind
ly with them, but when this organ OF
appendix is not used it becomes "a cen.
ter of dangerous conditions as soon as
any foreign substance OF any hard
matter is deposited in it,
In these days of ''woman's reforms,
may she not be of some service to the
men portion of mankind by RELOCATING
back this vermiform appendix of man
to its primitive condition of well-be'
haved gizzard in the body polite, and
citing herself as to pins in her adult
life and to pickles and slate pencils and
| chalk of her school day life as an eX.
| ample, by following which the restora
ton can be successfully accomplished
in MANI. r. Hayes, in Washington
Star.
The Youngest Sailor.