The Anaconda standard., 1898-01-19


new little sister?
Berte-Oh, nursie. ask mamma not to
name it a girl-name ii IA boy 50 | can
have i kid 10 play with-Trath.
Devotee-The pope, | am told. is COM
stant sufferer from rhematism.
Norldlng-Weli. that conNiuces me that
there is nothing in the faith cure,-Chica-
go Tribune.
Mistress Of the Housc-My good man
did you ever take a hath2
Tramp-No num- | never took any
thing bggern ii silver teapot-Tit-Bits.
First Citizen-He's strong republican.
isn't he?
Second Citizen-Decidedly lie even en-
dorses the Dingley detioit,-Puck.
lie Stated a Case.-"I wish to state a
case" said the Casual Caller. as he en-
tered the Office and sat DOWN on the
Snake Editors desk.
Go on" - e
"A man who was going home with a
bottle of mncilage in his pocket was set
upon by robbers who took everything he
had except the bottle of mucllage ana his
hat. Leaving him these they turned II m
loose. Why Is that man Ike George
Washington
Il could never guess.
Because he had his hat yet.
| to do with il
That is the sticker. ."-Pittsburg Chron-
! icle-Tclegraph.
did Hopkins get nervous prostration
! trying 10 make money!"
No. he got nervous nrostratien trying
| to borrow money. Chicago Record.
Mr. Moody advises Christians to starye
| rather than work on Sunday. The great
| evangelist is both sincere and courageous
| and would doubtless follow his own adj
| vice II occasion should ever arise. But
| his hosts Of friends all over the world
| will hope that the occasion will never
| arise. In the mean time the men who lun
| the cars that haul people to church on
| Sunday show no disposition to give UP
| their jobs.
Envy.-New Yorker-Your coliseum
served one good purpose. Hundreds Of
the people of your town learned to pro-
nounce the name.
Chicago Man-Yes, and everybody pro-
neaneea it superior To Madison Square
Garden, too.-chicago Tribune.
Miss Flamberg leoyly)--Eef l marry
! you, Mr.. Puratownski. who will get up
/ and make der lres mornings?
Mr.. purntoWnski-Fires Mofning' Veil,
/ dots a poor dime for fires, Repecca, but
achoost you leave all dose peezness mat
/ iefS 10 ne--I uGk
] The minister with his little son Charles,
/ was calling on an old parishioner. who
poured her troubles into his sympathiz ng
/ ear, ending with the remark, i Ne had
my nose held to the grindstone for thirty
/ years.
Charlie who had been looking intently
/ at the old lady, instantly remarked.
well ii hasn't worn the mole on the end
/ of it off yet. t-Harper9s Bazaar
Sherlock Holmes. s.-Oficer-Tnere
seems To be nothing on the body to iden-
| tify the man. We do not even know where
/ he lived
Rystander-of course. it's rather indefi-
/ mite: but Just after the car struck him he
cried out that he was citizen Of Greater
| New York.
ofieer-Ah, a Brooklyn man.-Puck.
Mrs Jones-Did your husband die hap
Widow Brown-oh. yes; just before he
! died he cried out ecstatieally, u see a
/ great light" and then added softly j
| think I'm going where they give better
gas, and passed smilingly aMay-Judge.
..How can you say such cruel things Of
your antagonists in dehate2 sne IN
quired repreachfully Of the statesman
/ oh. was The reply, that's easy
enough ] keep 4 scrap book, and when
/ my own IDEAS ElN1 bdt - - Nat@st
/ Washington Star.
Financial Recreafion.-.I thoroughly
enjoy looking at the advertising pages
after the holidays are over
ANY special reason y
..Yes, here and there / see something
my wife didn't buy.''-chicago Record,
| 4 Charitable Theory" Mamma | guess
] | know why Mir Runshy sits IN he front
row at the theater.
WHY my deaF9
$50 everybody can see that hcs got a
IIttle hair left behind. Cleveland Plain
+ Dealer
An said ;he salmon. shaeaerins'y q