The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1898-08-11
MILES MOONLIGHT EXCURSION.
Philosophers DOOIOy Makes = Few Char
aCtsrI'tis obSsrTHtIOn' on the Subject 10

Philosopher DoOIOy Makes = Few Char
actsrIStie Observations on the Subject 70
HsnnsEIy.
''Dear, oh dear" said Mr.. Dooley TO
the Chicago Journal. ''I'd give I'VE dol
la1B-an' I'd Kill a man IF three-if I
was out ~ the Sixth wa-ard Tonight an
down with GIn'ral Miles gram picnic an
moonlight excursion in Porther Ricky.
IT'S no comfort in beiR a cow'rd whin
ye think ~ tt1im br-rave la-ads facin'
death be suffication in bOkayg am dyln'
w wnatziD' with TN pritty girls Nv Por-
ther RiclSy.
81 MnDaw whether Gin'raa Miles pickt
out tn job or whether twas pickt out
fr him. But anyhow, wilin he got to
Sandago de Cuba aER looked ar-round
him, he says to his fri'nd Gin'ral Sha1ter:
'Gdn'ral,' says he, 'ye have done well so
far he says i lave We here he says,
f'r to complete tn victhry we have so
noblY begun he says. FIT YOU he says,
TIL wallop in tn eye from tn newspaper
rayporther, tn r-round robbing an tn
sunsthroke,' he says. IF me Tn hard
ship Of tn battlefield, tn late dinner, an
tn tl1eayter party an tn siclIriR polky.
Gnyther,' he sass, tn fruits " ye'er
bravery he says. 'Rayturn,' he says,
to ye-er native land an raycieve amy
gratichood tn Ecretnry " war can spare
firm his own family he says. 'F'r me,
he says, there Is no way but fr 10 tSir' m
me back upon this festive scene, he
says 'Oriherly,' he says. put bottle
on TIL ice an see that me gold pants that
wear with tn pale-blue vest with tn
d4'mon' huttius Is Irne0 out he says.
AM with haggard face he walks
aboord tn excursion an wint away.
I'D hate to till ye ~ tn thrsies ~ IN
expedition, Hinndssy. Whin tn picnic
got as far as Punch, on tn southern
cOuSt ~ Porther RickyI Gn'raf Miles
gazes out an says he: This looks Hike a
good place TO hang tn hammiclSs, an
have iuujch,' says he. Forward an,
plant the cTokay ar-rches ~ our beloved
country he says. An in they whit
like intrepid warryorS that the ar-re.
On tn beach they was met by a. diliga-
ton firm tn town Nv Punch conslstlR w
tn mayor, tn common council, tn polls
| an Are departmits, tn Gr-rand Army
Nv the RnypublIc an prominent citizens
in carredges. GIn'rai Mines maxim q
nasty toilet advanced onffinchiHgiy to
meet thin. 'Gintlenin' says he, what
kin do f'r yer he says. We come,
says tn chairman " tn comfy 'fr TO
offer ye,Ehe says, til r-run " the coun-
tIlry,' he says, We have hild out he
says, as long as we cud,' he says But,
he says, 'they'se a limit to human endu-
rance he says. We can Withstand ye
no longer he gays, We slrTinder, he
says, Take US prisoners an raycieve
| us Into ye're gloryous an welt-fed Ray
public he says 'Br-rave men, says
GlHraf Miles. I congratulate ye, he
saws. 'ou tn heroIsm Nv ye're detinse,
he s2Ss. 'Ye stuck marfuliy to ye're
colorg, WHATEVER they ar're,' he says i
only wondtler that ye waited fr mo TO
come before surrinderln" he says I
Welcome We into tn union, he says. !
don't konT how tn union,n feel about
| e., but that's no blZness " mime he
saws. we win git ye're w71r-rkn' cards
| FIRM tn waleiD' dHigate,' he says. an
ven be enuitled,' he says, 10 ny ye're
share ~ tn taxes an to I'VE awhile an
die whIn we git r-ready,' he says, Jus
| III same as II ye're bOT-rIJ at home he
saws Put ye're bokays in tn ham
| mick he says, an FRyturr TO Puuch,'
he says, AM freeze somethin f'r me- ne
aays, 'f'r me thrawt is parched with tn
Ia,bors " tn day he says, Tn rist ~ Tn,
nYenin' was spint in dancln, music an,
boat r-ridin', an an inj'yble time was
am mkt day tn army moved on
| Punch, an Gtn'FaG Miles mar rched into
IN ii fated city preceded by tiow'r gurls
sthreHin' r-roseB an gerayniums before
him. In tn Afternoon they was lawn
tInnls party am At night tn giD'rai at
tinded q banket Mt tn Gram Palace ho-
| tel. AT Midnight he was seTanaded be
| IN Raymamber tn Nadine Banjo an
| Mandolin club. TIL entire popy.ace at
| funded, with pork chops in their button
holes to show their pathreetism- tn
| mex day, afther brealCfasttn with Ma
| ior Casey, he set out on his weary
march over tn trough hower-strewn
paths FIR San Joon. He has bin In gr-
reat puri firm a w..herln fire w boknys,
an he, has met an overpowered some "
tn most savldge orators in Porther
| Ricky, but whln las heerd Nv him he
| had pitched his tints an ice cream free
GERS near tn innings wan, an was era.
| fully silenclB thin with proclamattons'
''TheyIt kin him with Kindness II he
don't look out" said Mr.. Hennissey.
~ tNnnaw about that" said Mr.. DOC.
ley, 'but / know this, that there's IN
maxim Nv gr-reat statesmen In Porther
Ricky. 4 proud people that can swf;eh
ag quick no THIN lands have nawthin'
10 learn in tn way ~ what Hogan calls
IN signs ~ government, even firm tn
suprayme court"
/