The true Democrat. [volume] (Bayou Sara [La.]) 1892-1928, 1898-01-01
THE GEORGIA HUM0RIST
PHILOSOPHER IS BESET WITH MORE
TRIBULATIONS.

NAfrO"ly escapes "ASSaSSin'...TraVel
West on His Lecturing Tour-.-The Bar
tow Man Has Many Ups and Downs--
He Visits Vicksburg.
SHREVEPORT, LA.-It was q Lowell,
traln-that fast mail from Atlanta t.
Neutrality-suspicious. all new and brigh
and clean, and we made the run of II;
miles in five hours. The wheels seem
ed to slide and glide along the rails as
If moving upon ice; not o jar or shock
and all went serene until we neared
opelika, when suddenly there was a
terrific crash at my window and the
large plate glass was shattered bv q
stone that some fiend had thrown with
force and violence. A second later
yes, q fraction Of q secondhand !
would have received the blow in nv
face. The broken glass was shattered
over me and in my face, and sharp
fragment stuck in my finger. Kind
fate or Providence protected me, for I
had no accident policy. But con-
slider myself the injured person
and had a mind to telegraph Gov
ernor Johnston to call out the militia
for we had crossed the Alabama
line. When we reached the town our
conductor put detectives on track Of
the rascals, and hope they will catch
them. When got to Meridian it was
night again and in going to the hotel
l found the pavement torn up part of
the way and before I was aware of any
impeachment, I stumbled against an
abrupt rise and fell far and wide on
the unfeeling brick. It seemed to me
L couldent stop falling and my corpo
roslty spread out in horizontal atti.
tude. I lost my cane and spectacles
but kind-hearted man ran out Of his
store and helped me up and we found
them. You arc the third man that has
tripped up there tonight and the city
council ought to have lamp and
watchman here. I skinned my knee.
pan and got my best clothes all dirty
and once more / consider myself |
the injured person, for 1 still had
no accident policy. Today, when
our train stopped at Vicksburg, a
ot of preachers got aboard on their
way to the synod and some of the
1ice ladies of the town came down to
meet some lady friends on the train,
Il took them good while to exchange
alutations and kiss goodbye all
round, and suddenly the train moved
IF and gradually gained speed of mo.
ION and the nice ladies ran hastily tn
ne door and down the steps and made
leap for the platform. I never saw
UGH spread of feminine forms and
in my life. They both fell
lolently forward face downwards
'lth' all four of their limbs extended
nd l know the shock must have
roken every stay in their corsets. Il
rleved me, for I'know they are hurt.
ut the train never stopped to see, for
ne conductor supposed those ladies
ere passengers and not visitors and
al gone forward to look after other
latters. But I am obliged to con-
der those ladies the injured
ersons. It won't do for ladies'
old men to leap from a moving
ain: When we crossed the great j
.lsslssippi river and had resumed our
urney the train stopped to take on o
'ung couple who were clipping from
elr parents and were going to Get
arrled as soon as they reached the
st courthouse town. They had t
'dged the old people by crossing the {
YER in skiff and so when the train q
ached the town the young man bur. a
cd to the clerk and got a license O
nile our train waited for him. Thew u
ant know where to find preacher, Il
1t there were forty or fifty aboard Il
r train j; and kind friends suggested q
at they be married in the parlor car a.
at was attached. So they chose our L
nmy Hillhouse, who used to preach n
Gainesville, but is now located in Il
cksburg. He got Rev. Jimmy s
nes to assist him and while the O.
IN was going thirty miles an hour is
happy couple were Joined together
the holy bonds of matrimony. The
. Jfmmies A:ssed the fair young
de and when we met the eastbound y
IN the couple boarded it and re- -
ned to their anxious parents. There a. ~
> nothing in the way of their MARI a. a.
save their youth, for the young "a
n is of good habits and good family, ~
the girl is as sweet as pink.
'ut these preachers are bright and IN
y set. They kept US laughing all ye
way to Monroe, where tie SYNOD VI
ets' Going to the ch.v--c!, CTS is
If greatest recreation.
ut ! am tired tonight, for I have
,eled 400 miles today and must ston sp
the present.-B111 ARP, in Atlanta So