The herald., 1898-04-10
THE MOTORMAN.
Human Nature Is Full Of Quirks
and Kicks,

"When I started out to run a car"
said the motorman as we waited at q
crossing for four or five people to get
aboard. II made UP my mind to be
soft and pleasant with the public. I
was going to be respectful, polite, and
anxious to please. 1 tried that policy
about two weeks and then dropped it.
found that the public looked upon
me as a jay, instead of a man desirous
of pleasing. If I'm not mistaken here
comes a case OF it now."
A man with a limp came out of a
store and started to get on the front
Of the car. When waved Off he de-
manded;
whats the matter with this car
that l can't get on the front end?"
"Agin the rules" was the reply.
but I've got rules as well as the
Company, and I'm going to get on
here! You go to Garden Avenue, don't
you?"
mot within mile of it'
you don't! Since when did they
take up the tracks, and crook them all
dIouHu Tic CouHtIy. LUX luiS Inc
to Garden Avenue only day before yes
terday."
you mean you took the Red Line
Car"
And this is the Red Line"
mo, sir-this is the Green Line. Red
Line will be the next car. Look out
for yourself, now!"
Look here, you slab-sided old brake
iQf avtp cd ha In, hA
fell back few feet-"Ill have an eye
on you from this time out, and If neces-
sary I'll buy out this whole Road to get
you bounced. The idea of our public
servant daring to dictate to their
masters!"
You see how it goes" smiled the
motorman as he started the car. "That
man made a mistake in the car, and
he will forever hold me responsible
for it. Please look back and see II the
conductor has his hat on his ear and
is lookin' as if he owned the car? Oh,
he is? Well, they git that way once
in a while and have to be taken down a
peg. The conductor rings the bell and
collects the fares, but the motorman
runs the car. Just watch me now!"
There was a man waiting on the
corner to take the car. He had a
newspaper in his hand, and he held it
up for the car to stop. The motorman
looked the other way and did not stop
until he got the bell, half a block away.
The would-be passenger came running
after the car, and as he reached it he
shouted at the conductor:
Are you on this car to pick up pas
sengers. or to gawp all over the street!
That's five different times you have
played that trick on me, and to-mor-
row you'll find yourself walking the
streets!"
Il rang as soon as I saw you," re-
piled the conductor.
And it was your business to have
seen me half an hour before Don't
talk back. sir! I'll settle your hash
this afternoon!"
THAT will last Jim all day."
grinned the motorman, as he got the
bell. LAS to the general public, every
man, woman and child expects to
kick aboard an electric car. Perhaps
there's sunthin' in the current that
causes it. Hear that woman jawiny
the conductor? Her Fourth Avenue
transfer is no good for this line, and
she's tried that little game half doz-
en- times. Some folks can't see why
phia, Chicago, and st. Louis and back
again on a street car ticket. Hello!
Who's this?"
"And now for some more human ma
ture," said the motorman as he sound
ed the gong and ratified a grocery
wagon off the track. You see that
woman waiting up there on the cross
sing. Well. you notice she's on the
wrong side of the street. She knows
it, but she won't give in. She's bound
to make the car stop on this side if
it takes twenty years to do it. can't
do it of course, and she knows can't,
but you'll see how she'll take on"
Up went her hand, and along to the
other side went the car.
why didn't you Stop?" shouted the
woman to the conductor.
Cant stop on that side" he re-
piled.
You could if you wanted to, but you
just want to spite me. I'll go to head
quarters this very day and make COM
plaint."
"Reg'lar programme" observed the
motorman after we had covered about
two blocks. You'll never know what
kickers the public are until you run q
car. Two blocks up the street we'n
come across an italian junk-man with
hand-cart. He's been laying for me
for the last month-crossing back and
forth in front of me and aching for
collision. I'm going to smash his cart
this time and take the chances. II
don't he'll catch me some night and
oblige me to shave one Of his legs off.
See him? Now hang on and look out
for splinters!"
The man with the cart really seemed
to be waiting for the car. At any rate,
he started to push it across the street
in way to bring about a collision,
gave her all the current and stepped
back and the cart was flung into the
air and came down a heap of splin-
ters.
You busta my carta all to bitta,"
we could hear the junk-man crying as
we sped along; and for a long min
ute the motorman seemed to be think
ing deeply. Then he said:
Had to do it in the Company's in
terest you see. Better pay him two or
three dollars for an old cart than $500
for the loss of leg. He'll have the
sympathy of some Of the passengers.
though. All! it's coming!"
An oldish man with sympathetic
face opened the door and said:
my friend, you have brought wreck
and ruin to the hearthstone OF poor
but worthy man. 1 saw the whole
performance, and"