The Southern herald., 1898-03-04
Letter from Jim Lindsay.
CAPELL, Miss, Feb. Is, 1898.

CAPELL, Miss, Feb. Is, 1898.
Editor Hsrald-Welll sir, ! went
sparkling on Sunday night, Went to
see the same old gal, for whom my
great big swollen hear. has been just
sizzling and bubbling, and billing
over with most perfectly pure and
genuine, spottless, unadulterated.
super-annuated, true love, for the
last thirteen decades, or lhereahouts.
And being, as Sunday evening
was kinder calm and mild, and
warmlike, aud as sparkling, onSun-
day night, is mighty embarrass-
ing, warm job, for me especially,
helm Of kinder bashful, diffident,
dryland, terrapinlike-rrtiring dis
position, and also, as owing to the
shortness Of the price Of last years
cotton crop, and the fact that | was
not Overstocked with wintertime
go.to.meeting duds, owing to the
shorlness Of my revenues, both in
ternal and external, and all the
balances Of last years accounts.
Bein on the wrongside of theLedger
aud future prospects, looking more
out towards the raging sea Of out
lay, than inward, toward the firm
dryland Of Income, which my ge.
ography tells me is situated just
across the river Naterless, from
the delectable land Of Nowhere,
where idealized Utopia is.
Well, sirl dressed myself, as
follows, to wit; lwore my speskled d
puppy breaches and lustre.fnish-
ed alpaca coat and vest, that |
borrowed from n kind neighbOr for
the occasion, my new straw hat,
that | bought on credit in Capell
last June, u fried shirt that cost me
four bits cash in Plaquemine, La,
on Christmas eve, in '94, and a
bloodred breast. plate, satin scarf,
that was given me by Nunnery Bros.
Of Rosetta, on the Homochllto.
also wore some other garments that
am too bashful 10 mention. l haG
also bought me a lw0.bit buttle OI
Hoyd'S German cologne expressly
for the occasion, aud put sume on
my puckel handkerchief, and pour.
ed the rest in my boots, to make
my ieet smell good, and | also wore
a longtime summer duster, to cor.
respond with my general makeup
aud appearmenlS, Tor you see, Mr..
Editor, | am getting old enough now
To begin TO sadly realize that pro.
crastinatiOn is a most egregiuus
thief OF time, aud had thoroughly
resolved 10 hasten matters to the
point, where it would be, tO either
put up, or shut up.
Well, sir, had long considered
Sarah Jane Blank, the divinely
sublime masterpiece Of omnipotent
creation, aud if ehe is not the pretli.
est and sweetest and most faecinat.
| ing creature in nine counties ad.
Ijacsnt. l am liar, sir, and the
truth aint in me.
Well, sir, l rid up to old man
Blanks gate as big as life, and
three times as natural, on last
Sunday evening, l did, and met the
old man out the gate, engaged in
shelling the grains of Of some
small nubbins Of corn, and throw.
ing the same at an old black SOW
and a number ofsmsll scrawny pigs
Of variSus and assorted colors. sizes
and conditions as to growth and
thriftiness, also chunking u neigh.
} borhOod conglOmeration Of general
stock with the cobs.
Well good evening, Mr.. Blank
says |, on riding up to where be
was. How do you do this evening
says l.
Tollerbls, says he, looking at me,
sorter sidewise and kinder inquirinq
like. How are you yourself, says
: he.
, I've hardly got time, says l, be.
, ginning to feel little embarrassed d
} and confused like
: / bad also seen Mrs. Blank cboo.
} ping some sPliutsrs eff Of the off