New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1898-09-01
THE NEW POSSESSIONS.

fIooray for our conquest far over the sea;
Its gory-with rapture teii ~ ,,, o,oo
''''e" -(Washngton Star.
When General Andrew G. Burt was colonel Of the
7h United States Infantry. he was watching target
practice one day the range ut one OF the ester"
forts Tn. Colonel was an erratic shot. Sometimes
no cou,d make brilliant record, and then he would
suddenly become unable to hit the side OF pnrn'
The private who shooting pumped bullets
here there and everywhere until Colonc! Burt be-
came disguised
Here give me that gum he ordered
The man obcyed Tho Colonel took caretu aifn'
let Nv and hit tho bulls-cyc squnrely.
"Tbafs the way shoot" he said triumphantly.
Encouraged by his success he drew bead and hred
again. This time his aim was treacnerous' anu INC
bullet never hit the target nj all
Tho enlisted man tried to cover UP a smile. But
the Colonel was not in the least discounted.
That's the way you shoot. no said coony' ana
handed back the gun.
lie Had.-Fond Fathcr-so you have told lie.
Hay lave, tho, You iefT aT from me Oy '"'
Iohnny-Yes. str; have-nne.
NJ, long ago tho suez Canal Commissioners were
,h,crnd NV nm audacious application from tho rep
roscn,at,ve OF three Arms whose products were Dis
cr,,s chocolate and soap. respectively. for permits
sion 10 advertise these the banks OF the canal
YEARLY rental Of 900 being offered for the Priv
inc. The enplicaton promptly refused Ac-
cordlng N an Egyptian paper. the 'lmparzinie
,hero WAS recently found painted In OIL III
enormous characters over tho entrance slab OF the
Pyramid OF Cheops at Ghizeh the legend. Blank
Dundee Whiskey" The advertisers had gone one
better than tho Suez Canal applicant. Tor 'hey hdu
dlsp.nsed with the formaty OF asking any ones
oe,mIssIon How the trick was done the Impair
,ole" cannot understand for the pyramids are sup
nosed n bn watched by Hcdouins day ana night
I'm, alas, the advertisers labor has been iost
rd-hear,ed and unsympatheuc Direction Arch@o-
logiquc OF gave orders for the erasure OF the
inspiritng legend.
Got Il Right at Last-A farmer who had lost
son in Inc war employed the village poet TO write
an obituary. which ran ns iolloWs'
HE for his country III and fout
Until Death blowed his candle out
.That won't do" said the bereaved parent "kazc
they don't us" candles now take another WHIT
Tn, root squarcd his Jaws. and presently pro-
duccd tho following;
.uc 6t md fou, With gun ana knife
TIL Dcnth howed out the gas ot ire
.rh,,.a ho,,,r NOW exclaimed the farmer: I've
bloyed out the gas myself a-many time TAT
lnnta Constitution.
Albert Chevalier. the king Of coster song sing
ers wns once asked what was tho most unpeaS-
mt experience OF his stage life We'll. ne saih
"r will tell you. II happened In very handsome
hall in the Midands. Tho whole ~ mo BACK ana
tho sides were covered with immense plnteglass
mirrors I knew nothing about II until walked
on the stage. and then for the first time In my
NO I saw myself ns others. my audiences. see
me The effect VAS weird In tho extreme. II un-
neryed me II was positively terrifying. Instead
OF concentrating my attention upon my work.
found myself watching studying Chevalier' Never
ngain No thank you avoid halls that are gilt
terins masses OF plate-gass mirrors