The herald., 1898-12-30
Mr.. BarnaCIe on a Bicycle
,ooooooooooooooooooooooo

When that estimable mariner, Mr.. Barna-
Gle, reported at the Bilger club last night,
it was readily seen that he had piled up on
lee shore at no remote date. Bill wore one
arm in canvas sling, the left side of his
face was scratched and bruised down to
the high whisker mark, and he hmped Wis
IDLY in both legs.
Election bet?" queried the president, as
Bill lowered himself gently into chair.
NAV; bloomin' bicycle"
That's another point on which steps
must be took by this club" the president
said, with feeling "Bikes is altogether too
reckless. They think they owns the streets,
and don't care nothing for lives and legs.
Did you have him arrested, Bill?"
"I'l bust his head if he does it again"
roared the mariner. "He knowed couldn't
do it, but the skipper he said l was peach
and could ride with the best of EN-"
''Have you been aboard one of them bi-
cycles:" gasped the club.
"Do l look as if l had stayed on deck or
took headers over the side in shoal water?
Blow me, if I'm clear on what happened,
but the skipper said l was all right
"Who is this skipper!" asked the presi-
dent.
Ills Hdiuc Is OcOlBc hOICHOusS, anu hS
used to be friend of mine when he sailed
the Dashing Wave into this port. George
didn't take none to golf and bicycles in
them days, but he went adrift recent in
Philadelphia, / hear, and learned how to
sail bike. Then wot does this pirate do
but offer to learn me navigation aboard a
bloomn' craft that won't keep even keel
or answer her helm, no matter which way
it's put.
"The way about it was this: Morehouse
he says to me, Bill, you amt healthy
enough in your old age. Learn to sail bike
in the park and smell the bursting buds in
the early watch and hear the sparrers twit
in the leafy dells. 1t will do you good
"The skipper is that po-etical l was plumb
carried away with the scheme, special when
he said he'd learn me in minute. So More
house shanghales me out to the park last
Friday, where | charters light craft OF
eighty tons, with, low freeboard and high
poop deck like one of these here old Spanish
galleons. The steering gear war well up
forward, but the skipper showed me how
to man the rig. Then got aboard and he
showed off.
keep her steady as she goes says More
house, so puts the tiller amidships, but the
gosh-binged thing listed bad.
"'Trim ship!' yelled the skipper. Up
crawls to windward, and sink me if it
didn't list the other way and capsize COM
plete.
"'Wot did you do that for?' asks that fool
Morehouse.
"'Any seaman says, knows enough to
keep the weather side on lee roll. This
craft is too cranky. Wot she needs is
double bilge keels' and likewise rolling
chocks,' I says, then man can handle her.
"Morehouse he picks the gravel out Of
my face and allows I'm all right. You'll
grow used to the roll,' he says, and then
gets under way again. For minute she
holds her course straight and proper with
never lurch; then she yaws frightful, leav-
ing wake like rams horn. The skipper
allowed l carried too much canvas aft, but !
didn't have time to brazil up none before
she rounded up with jerk that busted the
steering gear and pitched me clean over the
knightheads.
"Let 90 the anchor' yells the skipper,
but she was hard aground then, with me
jammed under the forefoot, regular stove up
and wrecked.
"'Wot run into me-? says to Moiehouse
'Nothin,' he says. You tried to cross
your own bows, and amt got no more pa
tience with such a muttonhead! Go back
to the water front. Street cars is Your
limitv
"With that the skipper sets a course fol
the Casino, and I amt seen him since. And,
say, the feller chartered from posted re-
insurance on the blasted craft, and I had to
pay it, too."
After short discussion the Bilger club
unanimously decided that Mr.. Barnacle met
his just punishment for sailing on Friday
IsCharles Dryden in New York Journal.
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