The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-12-13
MEDITATIoNS OF MR.. DoOLEY
The Philosopher Sees "Cyrano de
Bergerac."
Chicago Journal.)

"Iv'ry winter Hogan's la-ad gives a
show with what he calls tn Sixth
Wa-ad shakspere an William j. Bryan
club. an I was sayjooced into goin' to
wan las night at Finucanes hail."
said Mr.. Dooley.
"Th' girls was goin'," said Mr.. Hen
messy, but tn shtovepipe come down
on tn pianny an we had a minstrel
show iv our own. What was it about,
L dinnaw?"
"Well, SIR said Mr.. Dooley IT amt
much on tn theayter. 1 niver whit to
wan that I didn't have to stand where
cud see a man in blue overalls
scratchin' his leg just beyant where tn
heeroyne was prayin' on tn palace
stairs, an don't know much about it;
but it seemed to me, an it seemed to
Hartigan, tn plumber, that was with
me, that twas a good play if they'd
been a fire in tn first act. They was a
lot iv people there, an if it cud've been
arranged FIR terhave milne company
fifteen, with Cap'n Duffy at tn head iv
thin, come in through a window an
carry off tn cr-rowd, 'twud've med a
nit with me.
"'Tis not like amy play I liver see
before or since. In "Tur-rble Tom; or,
TIL Boys iv Ninety-eight,' that 1 see
wanst, tn man that's the main guy iv
tn thing, he waits till iv'ry wan has
said what he wants to say, an he has a
clean field, an thin he jumps in as tn
man that plays tn big dhrum gives it
an uppercut. But with this here play
iv Cyrus O'Bergerac' it's far diff'rent.
TIL curtain goes up an shows Bill De-
laney an little Tom Seaman an Mark
Toolan an Packy Dugan that wurruks
in tn shoe store, an Molly Donohue an
TIL Casey sisters, thin that scandalized
tn parish be dom skirt dance at th'
fair, all walkin' up an down, talkin'.
Tin to wan on Sharkey,' says Toolan.
I go We an make it hundred says
Tim Seaman. Was we at tn cake
walk? Who stole me hat" 'Cudden' t
has gone on TIL force 'Hivins, there
please; I'm far firm home All iv thin
talkin' away at wanst, niver carin' FIR
no wan, whin all at wanst UP shteps me
bold Hogan, with q nose on hinl-glory
be, such a nose! I niver see tn like
on a man or an Elephant.
We'll, sir, Hogan is Cy in tn play,
an tn beak is par-rt iv him. What
does he do? He goes up to Toolan an,
says he: 'Ye don't like me nose. It's
It's Swiss cheese. Cut it off if We
want to. It's brik in a hat. Kick it.
It's balloon. Hang a basket on it an
We'll have an ascinscion. It's a dure-
bell knob. Ring it. It's a punchin' bag.
Hit it if We dahr. FIR two pins I'd push
in tn face iv ye.' AM mind We, Hin
Missy, Toolan had said not wan wurTud
about tn beak-not wan wurrud. An
iv'ry wan in tn house was talkin'
about it, an wondhrin' whin it'd
come off an smash somewan's
fut. I looked for a fight there an
thin. But Toolan's a poor-spirited thing
an he wint away. At that up comes
Seaman, an says he: Look here, young
fellow, he says, don't get gay he
says. Don't get gay he says. What's
that?' says Hogan. Whin a man says
What's that?' in a barroom, it names
a fight If he says it wanst. If he says
it twict it names a fut race. I say,
says Seaman, that if ye make amy
more funny cracks I'll hitch a horse
| to that basket fender he says, an
dhrag it firm ye,' he says At that
! Hogan dhrew his soord an, says he:
Come on he says. An Seaman dhrew
his soord, too. Wait says Hogan
Wait a minyit, he says. L must think,
he says. must think a pome, he
says. Glory be- says I, there's Sean
i lan's chanst to give it to him. I says
| But Seaman was as slow as a dhray
an befure he cud get action Hogan was
at him, fadin' with tn pome an coun-
thrin' with tn soord. I'll call this
pome,' he says, "a pome about a gazabc
I wanst had a dool with in Finucane'
hail. he says. I'll threat we Fright,
! he says, an at tn last line I'll hand
we wan, he says. An he done it. &c
! in he says in the pome, go in an dc
ye'er worst he says. I make a, pass al
ye'er stomach he says; I cross We
with me fright he says, am he says
| at tn last line he says I soak ye,' he
| says. An he done it. TIL minyit twas
over with tn pome twas off with Scan
| Ian. TIL soord wint into him an he
sunk down to tn fiure an they had t.
carry him off. Well, sir, Hogan wa:
that proud We cuddnt hold him FIR tn
r-rest iv tn night. He whit ar-rount
| anywhere stickin' people an soakin
thin with pothry. He's a great pott
is this here Hogan, an great fight
er. He done thin all at both, but like
me OF frind Jawn L., he come to tn
end. A man dhropped a two-be-foul
on his head wan day an he died. Hon
oria Casey was with him as he passed
away, an she says: How dye feel?
All fright says Hogan. But wal
thing I'll tell We has made life worth
livin',' he says. What's that? say.
Miss Casey. I know says I. Ann,
wan cud guess it. He names his nose,
1 says. But ivry wan on tn stage give
it up. 'Ye don't know says Hogan
IT'S me hat he says, an maxim f;
low bow to tn audience he fell to tn
fiure so hard that his nose fell off an
| rnxv1ed down on Mike Finna0au 9