Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1898-02-19
MAJ. o'sRlEN COLLECTS RENT.
How lie Makes His Demands on His
Tenants to Best Advantages.

How lie Makes His Demands on HIS
Tenants to Best Advantage.
Maj O'Brien is the owner of ten
ement house, and he collects the rents
of the different families who inhabit
it after fashion of his own, which is
as peculiar as it is effective.
The major fought in the civil war
and won wooden leg. But by some
hocus-pocus proceedings he was de-
barred from the enjoyment Of pension
in his old age, his enemies having start
ed the story that he inherited-not the
wooden leg-but the defect which led
to his needing it. So he saved his army
pay and built the tenement house as u
wise provision for the future. For the
major had no income from his title,
which was superfluous and honorary
He was major only by courtesy.
His method of collecting his rent was
worthy of resourceful brain. He
went on the first day of the month to
the house, and, taking his place at the
foot of the first high staircase, he would
pound at the door with his wooden
foot, at the same time calling in voice
that could be heard in every nook and
corner of the building:
"M-r-s. M-o-r-i-a-r-i-ty!"
Now, Mrs. Moriarity was the woman
who occupied the first suite front. and,
although she was familiar enough with
that voice and its errand, she was al
ways struck with surprise.
"Pwhat's wantin'?"
"Oi'm after the rint."
"Shure, major, clane forgot twas
the first of the month"
"You'll be mindin' it now, ma am, but
it's yureself is nivir behint wild the rint,
but always has the cash money whin /
come. 1 do be holdin' yees up as ex-
ample to the rest of the tinents."
This delicate bit of flattery has the
effect the major intended, and as he
transfers Mrs. Moriarity's money to his
pocketbook he sends another bugle cali
up the staircase.
miss Flaherty! Oh, Miss Flaherty!"
The little dressmaker comes tum-
bling down the stairs and whispers in
the big ear that is inclined to her height.
The tears are in her eyes, and her voice
trembles as she speaks in low tone.
and the major shufiles about on his good
leg, and says in gruff voice:
"Oi'll wait, an yees can take yer time,
but not a w-u-r-rd or OIL"
The threat is not finished, for the little
dressmaker runs back upstairs, and the
wooden leg goes through it's commercial
antics again.
Mrs. O'Gfady! Is't moving up there
yees are? Do yees want the house to
hear you're behint wild yer rint!"
"Oh, holy Moses! Bad cess to yees
for hardhearted ould landlard, whin
the childer hev bin sick an meself-"
81 read in the papers that yees was
able to attind Mulligan's ball last week.
Did yees go in carriage to give stoyle
10 me property or foot it there an back
wild the rist of the company"
Its none of your bizuess, Maj.
O'Brien, an there's your dirty ould
money. an much good may it do yees,"
and Mrs. O'Grady filings the money into
the hat he is holding and goes in, slam
ming her door.
Then the majors game leg beats an
other tattoo, and he calls voice rough
er than nutmeg-grater:
"Timothy Clancy! It's overdue your
rint is by two wakes! Ye big, lum
berin' loafer, if We don't be after payin'
me my lawful dues Oi'll have yez jugged
for contimpt of coort. An more nor
that Oi'll break every bone in yer good
for-nothin' hulk if-Pwhat's that you're
sayin'? Sphake louder, man! Your
wife's dead? Not the little babby's
mother? Whist! Sthay right where
yees are, Tim, an if we need hilp, let me
be tould. An here's somethin' for
dhrop of stimulant to kape yees from
breakin' odwn intoirely. God help u.s."
And that day the wooden leg made
no further demand for rent.-Chicago
Times-Herald.