davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1898-07-15
In the olden times

rS~ss - oIaSu LILIES,
I1 wise, searched vainly for the
Elixir of Life, or the knowledge
whereby life might be prolonged.
We now know that there is no such thing
as an Elixir of Life. But we have learned
that life may be prolonged by those who
take the right measures.
Any man or woman who will take care of
health and take the right remedies for i'll
health, may live to a ripe old age. When
a man feels out of Sorts when he gets UP
In the morning tired out after restless
night, and goes home in the evening COM
pletely knocked out with his days work,
without appetite or ambition, he Is sick
man. If he does not take the right remedy
he will soon be in the grasp Of consump-
ton, nervous prostration, malaria, or some
other serious malady.
A man in this condition should at once
resort to DR.. Pierce's Golden Medical Dis
covery. 1t is the best of all medicines for
Woodworking men and women. It makes
the appetite keen and hearty. It gives
sound and refreshing sleep. It tones and
strengthens the whole system. 1t inyigor-
ates the heart and nerves. 1t makes diges-
ton perfect, the liver active and the blood
pure. 1t cures 90 per cent. of all cases of
consumption. 1t strengthens weak lungs,
and cures bronchitis, splitting of blood and
obstinate coughs. II is the great blood
maker and flesh-builder. 1t does not make
aabby flesh like cod liver oil, but firm,
healthy, muscular tissue. It does not make
corpulent people more corpulent Thou
sands have testified to its marvellous merits.
Sold by all medicine dealers.
You know what you want. It Ia not q
dealers business to tell you.
Send to DR.. r. v. Pierce, Buffalo, N. Y,
for free copy of the Peoples Common
Sense Medical Adviser For paper-covered
copy enclose 81 one-cent stamps to cover
msilins only. cloth.bound u staups.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1898-07-15
Pessin,sn,.

"There is g great deal of difference
she said, with sarcasm, 'between the
way man parts with his money before
he is married and afterward."
YES" replied Mr., Pennywise. BE.
fore marriage, when he gives her q
three-dollar bunch of flowers, she says
Thank you, George! You are so good
and kind and generousH But after,
when he gives her three-fo,lrths Of his
salary, she merely looks hurt and says:
lis that all ?'"-Washington Star.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1898-07-15
( Not a Progressive Town /;
Copyright. 1893. By M. QUAD. (
Copyright, 1893.
By M. QUAD.

"No, I wasn't run over by cable
car nor blown up by a torpedo" said
the man with limp to his right leg.
what ails me is that my five toes have
been driven half way back into my
foot, and the doctor says l Will limp for
life"
Being asked for the particulars Of the
accident, he continued:
you can hardly call 1t an accident.
Perhaps some of you have heard of the
town of Reuben's Hill, VT? 1t had
petered out from village of 600 people
to a hamlet Of about 80 Inhabitants
when l first struck it. I stayed there
two days and did not see over five people
on the streets. INTENDED to come back
again some day, and SO thought /
would leave sign to mark future prog
ress. / got an old hat and placed a
stone under 1t in the middle of the main
street."
"You wanted to see If anyone would
kick 1t out of the way?" queried the
listeners.
Exactly. It was three years before
1 struck the town again. got there
about noon one day. and the first thing
l looked for was that old hat. It was
right there. True as live, it hadn' t
been moved foot. The hat looked a
deal older, of course, but recognized
1t in second as the same old hat. l
spoke to the landlord about 1t, and he
said it must be the same, as he hadn't
heard of anyone kicking hat off the
street"
"And was the stone still under itP''
was asked.
"Alas it was. After dinner went
out into the street feeling 1t sort of
duty to remove that landmark. j
stood and looked at ii for awhile, and
then hauled off and gave 1t a kick. Yes,
the stone was right there"
"And you-you-?"
Busted every toe on my foot and
was laid up on crutehes for three
months. That wasn't all, however
Sixty eight days after that kick / was
arrested, taken before a justice of the
peace and fined three dollars for med
ding with highway improvements
without license!"
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1898-07-15
Attention Farmers!

Are you aware that we have
full line of Farm Machinery, Bug
gies and Wagons. Also a line Of
Hardware, Tinware, Paints, Lin
seed Oil, Machine Oils, Axle
Grease. &c. Mems Overalls,
Working Shirts, Jackets, Mems,
Women's, Misses and Children's
Shoes, Rubbers and Hosiery
these are side lines of goods and
they come in at a time of year
when our grain and stock business
lis dull; therefore l claim I can af-
ford to give you lower prices than
regular dealers in these lines who
depend entirely upon them for
living. l will make prices to Cash
Buyers that Defy Competition.
Shall be pleased to figure on build
ing hardware with anyone intend
ing to build dwellings or barns.
Will take sound horses or colts
in exchange for machinery, bug
gies, wagons, etc.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1898-07-15
Let Down Eaxx

Clerk-I have been in your employ
now going on five years, and am get
ting the same salary started with.
Proprietor-I know it, but every time
that I've made up my mind to cut you
down or discharge you something has
reminded me of your wife and little
ones at home, and SO just couldn't do
1t. There, my man, you see have a
heart as well as head.-Chicago Daily
News.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1898-07-15
Farming. in Early Rome.

In the early days of Rome the ladies
of that city wore such heavy earrings
that they made the ears sore, and some
times tore the lobes. There were doc
tors whose business was chiefly to heal
ears thus tntpred -
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1898-07-15
Hurt Her Feelings.

mo; my wife feels worse since she
went to see DR.. Blunt"
.'Indeed?"
Eyes; he told her there was very little
the matter with her, and there was no
reason to make a fuss about t."-Puek.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1898-07-15
A Case In Point.

Teacher--Tommy, tell me the mean.
ing of the word 'excavate."
Tommy-It means ito hollow out"
Teachef-Correct. Next boy give ne
a sentence containing that word.
Willie Jones (hesitatingly)-Wh pa
puts me on his knee and takes off hia
slipper it's ten to one shot thai /
"exoavate."-N. Y. j ournal.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1898-07-15
Department store Patrtotisna

'If my men go off to war
will pay them all galorel
And with patriotic tears his eyes wera
swimmn'.
But his men" with hens and haws
Never started off because
More than ninety-nine per cent, Of them
were women.
Judge.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1898-07-15
She correot. Herself.

salesman-We are selling those goods
below cost!
Customer-Oh! I'm too old bird
ahem!-T mean I've heard that story
too often to pay any more attention to
iti-Puck.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1898-07-15
Expected,

''Mr. Hammers says that he won't
pay six cents loaf for bread" said the
grocer's boy.
No" said the proprietor, gloomily,
Il never thought he would, If he could
get trusted. "-Washington Star.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1898-07-15

Hostess-Yes, Jack has gone to th,
war, but he left me his picture.
Visitor-And your bureaus verJ
appropriate place for 1t.
Hostess-Indeed? Why?
Visitor-Isn't he facing powderq-
Illustrated American.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1898-07-15
Not RuiIt ito Retreat.

do you think you could stand the
marching If you enlisted? You are pref
ty stout.
Il could stand the marching all right,
but | couldn't stand the running."-
Chicago Record.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1898-07-15
A Canoe Trip Through the Park
Region.

The LAKE PARK REGION of Minnesota ID
noted as being one of unusual attractiyeness.
There are thousands of lakes, good fishing,
rolling and timbered prairie country, ducks
and prairie chickens, wild flowers and good
roads. An article with the above heading de-
scribes a boat trip from Detroit Lake through
long chain of beautiful lakes connected by
little river, into the heart of the Park country.
Tue party had e guide, lived In tents. and,
although surrounded by civilization, seemed at
times to be in the midst of solitude. The
possibilities Ia an outing of say two weeks. are
brought to the attention of those whose desires
lead them to indulge In out OF door life at
moderate expense. Wonderland 9s, published
by the Northern Pacific Railway, in which this
article Is printed, win be sent to any address
by CHAs. s. FEE, Cent Passenger Agent, Sc.
Paul, Mimi, upon receipt of six cents.
4. Dr. Miles, NERVE PlAsTHae cure RHEUMAs
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1898-07-15
Our Detective Force.

First Detective-There really isn't
any evidence against him.
Second Deteotive-Why did you ar
rest him?
First e-Well--er-there isn't
any evidence against anybody else
Punch,
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1898-07-15
Shut Hin, Up.

Stranger Ito chance neighbor at q res
taurant)-Can you speak many lam
guages?
Chance Neighbor (shortly )-No; but
] can hold my tongue In one.-Ally
,Sloper.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1898-07-15
A Greater Danger.

"Florlnda, IL we should elope, would
your father pursue us?"
mo, ! think he would move, so we
couldn't find him when we got ready to
como back, p Chicago Record. i. II
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1898-07-15
His Way.

His Way.
Sally Gay-Jack Higgins is very ar
dent lover, isn't he, dear?
Dolly swift--Yes; he's regular
lingo In his ve-making-Puck.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1898-07-15
Too Good to Keep,

Young Housekeeper-Do you keep
fresh vegetables?
Old Grocer-No, mum; not If / can
help 1t. I sell 'em right away.-Judge.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1898-07-15

Mrs. Viewed engaging cook) Lave
you had much experience?
Cook-Well, mum, I've worked for
tin families in tn lasht two wakes
Harlem Life.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1898-07-15
White Lies.

The Judge-so you were getting
money by calling yourself q survivor OF
the Maine, Ell?
The Culprit-Well, ain'tI? I've been
Twin ever since it Representations
apolls Journal.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1898-07-15
Mother Goose up-to-pate,

Mother Goose Up-to-Date.
Rock-a-bye baby. In the top fiat,
Along toward morning we know where
you're at;
When the dawn breaks and we're longing
to snore,
Down comes your ear-splittins voice
through the floor.
IN. Z. Truth.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1898-07-15
A Case in point.

A Case in Point.
Judge-Do you know that drink
drives man to the devil?
Prisoner-Yes, your honor, it brought
me before you-N. Y. Truth.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1898-07-15
Catarrh is
Not .Tncurable

But, It can not be cared BY sprays,
washes, II, azd IL, inhs.:ng sistssss which
in tho blood, ana .aa onis :. .aashsd
through Che ss,locs.. s, s. 5. IL the only
remedy which can have cry effect upon
Catarrh; IL cures the diEasse partna-
cently and forever rids the system Of
every srncs of fhe vile complaint.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1898-07-15
Nitsled.

Before we We're married you told
me you were dreamer an idle dream
er."
well, what of it?"
"And now have to sit up with you
at night because you have insomnia"
Chicago Journal.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1898-07-15
Two Kinds of wives.

"My wife" said Tangle, SIS mind
reader"
"Pity my lot" said Jangle; my
wife il mind speaker" -Tit-Bits.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1898-07-15

The Girl and the Period.
Jack-Who is the girl of the period
Tom-The one with dot, of course,
-Brooklyn Life.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1898-07-15

OF Montpelier, Ohio,
writes: ~ was AZ.
fioted from infancy
With Cstarrh, aud no
one can know the
suttertns 81 producer
better t;.sn I. The
sprays aud washes
prescribed by the doc.
tors relieved mo only
tempo rartly, and
though I used them
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1898-07-15
GOING SOUTH.
Yellowstone National Park.

partment sleeping cars. Dining cars on Euro
p9''- M F. H, LORD. g. P. II. A.. Chicago.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1898-07-15


constantly for ton years, the disease had
hrmer hold than ever. / tried q number o.
blood remedies, but their mineral ingredients
settled In my bones and gaye me rheumatism.
was In lsu1entable condition, snd after Of.
hausting oil treatment, was declared incurabls.
Seeing 8. g. 8. advertised as q cure for blood
diseases. decided to try IT. AZ soon - my
system was under tbs eject Of the medicine,
began to improve. and after taking 1t tol
two months I was cured completely, the
dreadful disease was eyadicsted from ny sys.
tenn, and have had no return OF It,"
Many have been ticking local treat
ment Tor years, ari and themselves
worse now than ever. A tyialo
e g 6 For Ulnad.
will prove 1t to be the right remedy
for Catarrh. Il will cure the most OBJ
stinate case.
Books mailed Tree to any address by
Swift Specific Co., Atlantis, Dc.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1898-07-15

Il s's'4-'e-, .--.-afs
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1898-03-22

Terms Cash in U. S. Gold Coin.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1898-03-22
THE VALUE OF COFFEE.

The statement recently made in the
Bulletin that Kona coffee will COM
mand cents per pound more than the
Brazilian, is repeated in the Hawaiian,
and is intended We presume for the
ears of those proposing to immigrate
and engage in the coffee business.
The coffee industry may be made so
valuable to these Islands, as a political
factor, as the fort" of Occidental civil
ization here, we earnestly protest
against statements regarding it which
are probably not true, and may simply
bring us trouble in the future
Kone coffee, at the normal prices Of
Central American coffee will pay well,
Why tell the stranger that it is worth
much more than it probably is?
We venture to say, and will make a
money stake on it, that if four cups Of
coffee are prepared at the some time,
using the genuine Brazilian, Salvador
or other Central American kind, to-
geLher with the Java, and 10 habitual
coffee drinkers are asked to pick out
the Kona coffee after tasting each cup,
without having knowledge of the kind
it contained, six out of the 10 will not
pick out the Kona coffee. We have
been told that recently cup Of Kona
coffee Intentionally adulterated, was
given to one who claimed to be "a cof-
fee drinker for 40 years." and he pro-
nounced it the finest coffee he had ever
tasted and was positive it would bring
the highest prices in the foreign mar
kets.
! We ought to known just what the
market value of our coffee is. 1t should
have been done long ago. AS we sug,
gested the other day, if the Govern
memt would send 20 bags of it to the
right man in either Chicago or New
York, the relative value of our coffee
can be ascertained.
| The difference in opinion between the
men in the trade and the amateurs is
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1898-03-22
Hoods sI ps;;;ia
Is the best-in fact the One True Blood Purifier

HOO6'C DiI1c are the only pills to take
Ao with Hoods Sarsaparilla.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1898-03-22
PRIVATEERS. 5

Our sugar interests are closely con-
nected with any war between the
United States and Spain. Through a
typographical error we said yesterday
that it is ''now probable that the
United States will hasten to declare
war against SPAIN" We wrote it: 1T
is not probable, etc."
At the same time, should it occur,
Spain would let loose a lot of priva-
teers on American commerce, and the
ships carrying sugar cargoes around
the Horn would be in some peril. These
privateers would be in some instances
only sailing vessels, mounted with light
batteries, and the expense of running
them would be small. The capture of a
sugar cargo would be a profitable VEN
ture, if a market could be found for it.
Some years ago, the British and 9TH
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1898-03-22

er European governments proposed to
vention, under which the Powers
would agree to abolish privateering.
But the Government of the United
States, possessing no considerable
navy, felt that in the event of war it
could only cripple its enemies, especi-
ally Great Britain, by a fleet of priva-
The Europeans replied that such war
fare was not the conflict of national
forces, but the destruction Of individ-
barous and uncivilized. The Americans
refused to assent.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1898-03-22

HOBRON DRUG COMPANY,
Wholesale Agents.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1898-03-22

This industry should be so we'll or
ganized and understood here, that
when any one proposes to engage in it
the solid commercial facts will be
presented to him, and not the boom"
nonsense, which has wrecked the hopes
and indeed the lives of so many excel
lent people in the fruit culture of Cali
fornia.
Rather than have the coffee industry
set back by the failure of those who
have over-estimated it's value, we
would even advocate Government aid
to- it, in a guarded and limited way
We cannot afford to let it drop.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1898-03-22
UNDERWRITERS SALE.
On Wednesday, March 23d
AT II O'CLOCK A. VI

AT IL O'CLOCK A. NJ,
At the Store of Messrs. H. Hackfeld &
Co., Ltd, cor. of Fort and Queen Sts.,
1 will sell ait Public Auction for account
of whom it may concern, the Following
Merchandise damaged per German bark
III. HackfeId, A Barber master, on voy-
age of Importation from Liverpool:
H. H. & Co.
No. 2, / case IL sheets Pl. Galv'd Iron,
S4x24x16G, 412 lbs.
No. ga. 2 cases 80 sheets Pl. Galv'd
Iron, S2x24x18G, 9O2 lbs.
No. 5, 1 case % sheets Pl. Galv'd Iron,
S4x24x22G, 442 lbs.
No. S-14, Z cases 1914 Sheets Pl. Galv'd
Iron, S4x24x24G, 1914 lbs.
No. 1920, 6 cases 225 sheets Pl. Galv'd
Iron, S4x24x26G, 2710 lbs.
No. "a, l case % sheets Pl. Galv'd
Iron, S4x30x24G, 426 lbs.
No. 1928. 3 cases 80 sheets Pl. ,Galv'd
Iron, S4x30x26G, 1921 lbs.
No. 1892, 4 cases SO sheets Pl. Galv'd
Iron, 96x24x24G, 1872 lbs.
No. 34-6, cases, SO sheets Pl. Galv'd
Iron. 96x24x26G, 1415 lbs.
1914 sheets; 1874 lbs.
H. H. & Co.,
X.
No. 319, coils at 112 lbs. Galv'd Fence
Wire, No. 4, 1908 lbs.
No. 800, 1O4 coils at 112 lbs. Galv'd
Fence Wire, No. 5, II ,64S lbs.
No. 321, 33 coils at 112 lbs. Galv' d
Fence Wire, No. 6, 1896 lbs.
No. 322, 8 coils at 112 lbs. GalV'd Fence
Wire, No. s, 1908 lbs.
I55 coils; 1850 lbs.
II. H. e Co.,
X
No. 147, l case ctg. 10 pcs. Italian
Cloth, POI, SIN, 1414cm.; 6 pcs.
Serge, linn, $50 en-.
No al, 1 case ctg. % doz. Asstd.
Shawls.
Terms Cash in L. s. Gold Coin.
Jas. F. Morgan.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1898-03-22

illustrated in the matter Of oysters.
The oysters of Long Island Sound sup
ply the New York market, and are
worth about three times as much in the
markets, as the oysters of the Chesa-
peake Bay. The great hotel at Old
Point Comfort, Virginia, to which the
richest and most fashionable people Of
the Northern cities resort, is supplied
with Chesapeake Bay oysters. For
years, it has been a matter of common
occurrence for the high Hvers of New
York City or Boston, to visit the hotel,
devour the bay oysters and declare
that they were the finest oysters they
had ever eaten" The change of air
had given these high livers an improv-
ed appetite, and the bay oysters got
the credit for it. Oysters Of this kind
delivered by the hundred thousand
bushels in the markets of the Northern
cities bring, as we have said, only one
third of the price of the Northern oys-
tiers. The further north the oyster
grows, the better the flavor. This is an
instance of the common error of in
dividual judgment.
1t is possible, of course, that by en-
terprising business methods the Ha-
waiian coffee might obtain a limited
and special market in Europe. A very
little expense and trouble would have
determined it several years ago.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1898-03-22
One Large Scar
Is All That Remains of Great
SCrOfula Sores
Neighbors Could Not Bear to Look
Upon Her-A Grand, Complete
Cure by Hoods SarsaparilIa
After Others Failed.

A.0
Upon Her-A Grand, Complete
Cure by Hoods Sarsaparilla
After Others Failed.
81 was taken with neuralgia in nv
head and eyes. Not long after this, a
scrofula sore appeared on my left cheek,
extending from my upper lip to my eye.
Other sores came on my neck and on nv
right arm and one of my limbs. They
were very troublesome and painful and
soon became great running sores. NV
face looked so bad that some of nv
neighbors could not bear to look at me
and advised me to wear bandage, but l
feared this would irritate the sore and
make it worse. Sol
Could Not Hide the Sores.
My niece, who was familiar with case
similar to mine, which had been cured by
Hoods Sarsaparilla, urged me to try it.
Finally was persuaded to do so. and in
a short time saw it was helping me.
The sores began to heal and the neu-
ralgla in my head was better. In few
months the sores on my arms and limbs
all healed; those on my neck gradually
disappeared and now they are all gone.
L have never had any symptom of scrofula
since. One large scar on my right arm is
all the sign that remains of my terrible
atfi1ction. The neuralgia is also cured.
MRS. j. M. HATCH, Etna, New Hampshire.
II GODS sa ns;;;;a
Is the beSt-in fact the One True Blood Purifier.
AAooA . HIS with Hoods Sarsaparilla.
HOBRON DRUG COMPANY,
Wholesale Agents.