Arizona republican., 1898-11-22

ter all, he was himself. living and
 breathing, seeing and feeling. It sur prised him somewhat that it should be so, but it made his mere physical
 senses strangely acute. He noticed ! how hard the pavement was. how
 rough the brown stone copirgs, and hs
 realized g certain pleasure in these keen sensations. But at the same tim
 it seemed to him that par. Of himself was absent CT aslcep-that part of him i that really noticed and felt-and that it would come back or wake up 10 acute
 sensa fCn-he could nos fores5e exactly when.
 Tn the middle cf the avenue he stop- psd and pcered down into the cable
 slot The light frCm the arc lamp overhead poured down into the open ing and he could see the cable and the
 little wheels On which it ran. How it
 rat;led and golloped along, Miles and
 miles of it and hundreds of little wheels-it was interesting to think O..
 Suddenly it occurred to him that he wasn't interested in the leas. in 'lhe cable and the little wheels-that there was only one thing he was really inter ested in, and that thing he wanted t0
 forget.
 1t can never be-.
 The words rang suddenly in his ears
 and stunned hiIn. The cable, the
 street, became hay and indistinct, and
 at the same time the par. Of him hat
 really felt seemed to come back or
 awake It can never be-" That part seemed to be repeating like an echo,
 while he himself stood gazing al the cable slot and seeing nothing.
 A violert changing right in his ear brought him b himself. With bound
 he reached the sidewalk and stood there with beating heart, while the cable car whirTad by.
 ii will ba calm he said to himself. 'I vii walk back and think Of some thing else
 He reached his room in a passive saatc Of mind. q am not sleepy" he thought. as he laid away his coat. "I will sit down and read awhile and then go quietly to sleep. He took off his dress cOat, put on an old one, and sat down with a book
 T am perfectly calna.' he said to himself, after finishing two or three pages. ''I understand perfectly all ! am reading" He had read hall page further when a snatch of tune some how got caught in his head and kept repeating itself mCurnfully over and over again. He struggled to read on. Always that snatch C. a tune. Why? He had never heard it under any cir cUmstances to make him remember 1t. And yet ,heIe was a certain fitness about it to the present case. He fe-t that, ard he hated the tune for it. He threw down the book. ''I will go to bad-and 70 sleep" he said.
 h the darkness his thoughts became terribly vivid, almost tangible. And al- wa . cT1o ofo n ne Q L ing itself like the murmur of the CT chestTa in a heater when melodTa- matic situation occurs. Today had been marked, different from all ether days. Would tomorrow be like the others? He wondered what it would be like? II shall get up us usual and breakfast. Where? At the Hopkins. And what shall 1 have? Why noc a good breakfast? Yes. 1 will have some fruit, and, then nice French rolls. That will rot be so different. though. 1 have ea5en that breakfast before. But yes, it will be different. Why? Because of today. Yes, that will mahe it differ c01." After breakfast he should go to the office. see the same faces. do the same work, but 1t would all be different -DecaEse Of today.
 Tt can never be-
 But could it never be? Possibly it could be, ysavs hence. She would nary some bVI.e CS 2 husband who would make her unhappy. Then, after years, she would be free-somehow. He would be famous, rich, very rich, perhaps, then. She would be poor. They would mse5 and then it might be. She would Ee willing then. He should De teo reconciled to its not b5ing.
 But then it was nc. because he ;oI, he didn't -. He felt something hot md moist on his cheeks. Why, he was irving. He didn't mean to let himself lo that. H. was glad it was dark. lie cit ashamed. 1t the same time he was angry-angry that any one should nave the power to make him cry. lie .lmost hated her for moment. Sud ! lenly. while he was in this mood, the ] bought of pistols came into his mind. ! + pictured cut what he would dc. He 4 would go and shOO1 himself on the ! i00rstep, her doorstep, late at night 10, early in the morning. He saw himself lying there, covered with . }lCod. Somebody opens the door l creams. He is recognizsd-bah. what . .onsense. He wCuldn't do anything ] ike that He would go or living just Is he had been living.
 Again he saw her married to some me who made her unhappy; then free. This time. though, he felt no resent nent. He was saying something to her r low tones-the words sounded in lis ears as he lay thera in bed, but he .ould not make out just what they were. and sine was Joking up with that cO!l-
 Ut can never be"
 Again the words rang in his ears.
 l. is all at an end,' he said, burying lis face in his pillow. "Bilt 1 love her
 love her-T love her! !"-W. s. E. in Sew York Commercial