Marietta daily leader. (Marietta, Ohio) 1895-1906, 1898-05-17
pooiey to His Cousin George.

OOO1ey 10 Ills COurih UVoisN'
well, said Mr.. Hennessy in tones OF
chastened joy, dewey didn't doa thing
to thin. hope tn poor la.ad isn't
cooped up there in Minneapolis"
"Niver fear" said Mr.. Dooley, calm
ly, cousin George is all fright"
"Cousin George?" Mr.. Hennessy ex-
claimed.
Sure said Mr.. Dooley. Dewey or
Dooley, tits all tn same. We dhrop q
letter here an there, except tn
haitches-we niver dhrop thim-but
we're tn same breed iv fghtin' men.
Georgy has tn thraits iv the family.
Me uncle Mike, that was handy man
was tould wanst he'd be sint to hell
FIR his nanny sins, an he deserved it,
FIR l'avin' out tn wan sin iv runnin
away firm annywan he was booked f'r
Everything firm murdher to missin'
mass. Well he says, amy place l
can get into he says, Il can get outiv,
he says. 'Ye bet on that he says.
$50 it is with Cousin George, He
knew tn way in, an it's tn same way
out. He didn't go in be tn family
inthrance, sneakin' along with th' can
undher his coat. He left Ding Dong,
or whativer 'tis ye call it, an says he,
Thank Gawd, he says, 'Pm where Nc
Kinley can't give me his ideas iv how
to r-run quiltin' party an call it war,
he says. An so he sint man down in
divin' shute an cut tn cables, SOS
Mack cuddent chat with him. Thin he
prances up to tn Spanish forts an
hands thin q few oranges. Tosses
thin out like a man throwin' handbills
f'r circus. Take that he says, an
raymimber tn Maine, he says. An he
goes into tn harbor, where Admiral
What-th''ell is, an, says he, 'Surrin-
der, he says. 'Niver, says tn Dago.
Well says Cousin George, III just
have to push ye ar-round,' he says.
An he tosses few slugs at tn Span
yards. Th' Spanish admiral shoots at
him with bow an arrow an goes over
an writes cable. This mornin' we
was attackted,' he says. An, he says,
we fought tn inimy with great cour
age, he says. Our victhry is complete,
he says. We have lost ivrything we
had, he says. 'Th' threacherous foe,
he says, 'afther destroyin' us, sought
refuge behind a mud.scow,' he says,
but nawthin' daunted us. What boats
we cuddent r-run ashore we surrnd-
ered,' he says. i can not write no
more, he says, 'as me coat tails are
afire,' he says AN l am bravely but
rapidly leapin' firm wan vessel to an
other, followed be me valiant crew
with FIRE engine, he says. If l can
save me coat tails he says, They'll be
no kick comin',' he says. Long live
Spain, long live mesilf
We'll. sir, in twinty-eight minyits
be tn clock Dewey he had all tn Span
ish boats sunk an that there harborI
lookin' like Spanish stew. Thin he
r-run down tn bay an handed few
war-rm vans into tn town. He set it |
on fire an thin wint ashore to war.rm
his poor hands an feet. 1t chills tn
blood not to have anything to do FIR an
hour or So"
Thin why don't he write some
thing?" Mr.. Hennessy demanded
Writer" echoed Nj. Dooley, Write?
Why shud he write, Dye think Cousin
George amt got nawthin' to do but to
set down with fountain pen an
write: Dear Mack: At o'clock be-
gun a peaceful blockade iv this town.
Ye can zee tn pieces Everywhere
hope yeer injyin tn same great blessin'.
So no more at prisint. FIRM ye'ers
thruly, George DooleS.' He amt that
kind. 'Tis a nice day, an he's there,
smokin' good tiu-cint see-gar an
throwin' dice f'r tn drinks. He don't
care whether we know what he's done
or not. I'll bet ye whin we come to
find out about him we'll hear he's ilict-
ed himself king iv tn Filipino islands.
Dooley th' Wanst. He'll be settin' up
there undher pam three with naygurs
fannin' him an dhrop iv ticker in tn
hollow iy his arm. an hootchy-koot-
chy girls dancin' before him, an livery
tin or twintv minyits some wan bring
in a prisoner in. Who's this?'says King
Dooley, "A Spanish gin'ral,' says th'
copper. Give him typewriter an set
him to wurruk,' says th' king. On
with th' dance he says. An afther
awhile, whin he gifts tired iv tA' game.
he'll write home an say he's got th'
islands, an he'll turn thin over to tn
govermint an 60 back to his ship, an
Mark Hanna'l organize TIL Filipino
Islands Jute an Cider comp'nv, an tn
rivolutchinists'l wish they hadn't
That's whatll happen. Mark me
wurrud. Chicago Journal
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in ha 10 h ole