The Saint Paul globe., 1898-04-28
EPISTLES TO ST. PAUL.


George Finn. M ]. Costello and num-
Der Of friends were taking supper at down
town cafe last evening, when they got to
telling stories about cioseness In politi-
cal expenditures. OF course. there is but
the one limit for stories of that kind, and
they soon got to the Kiefer incident Every
one in town knows about, and has laughed
at, the parsimony and nerve Of the colonel
in using the Autographs of himself that he
used during his congressional campaigns. 1t
seems that he has them everywhere now and
In some cases the sticker for this campaign
has got loose enough so that the labels be-
low that. announcing the colonel for other
offices. are in sight One of the party told
public resort yesterday wearing Kiefer but
ton and looking at the picture of the colonel.
Tom approached the stranger and talked to
him about the election.
Il admire Kiefer," said Tom, because Of
his economy. Now you wouldn't believe that
he had that picture made forty years ago."
The stranger admitted that he would not.
YES" said Tom, "he ran for the office OF
wharfmaster here In '5S, and he had that
picture made. He got 10000 copies Of 1t
printed and all he has to do Is to put on q
fresh label every election, and there you are.
The stranger was inclined to be skeptical, but
Martin removed SO much of the poster as
showed the words Candidate for Congress-.
explained that the party designation was
written in, too, to suit the political exigencies
Of the times, and in minute the stranger
stamping on one of the couple or score
Kiefer buttons there are in town and swear
ing he would have nothing to do with such
a very careful person as the colonel. And
as Tom bought he carefully explained to the
man how there were some other Autographs
fr,
years in which the name of the office for
which the colonel was standing was left va
cant and could be filed in by pencil
Mr. Finn was inclined to think that the
stories of the colonel's closeness wero some
what exaggerated.
Il think" said George, that you fellows
exaggerate. l know that the colonel was not
close in the matter of seeds when he was
congressman, and the hunch Of Schiffmann
for orchids is as nothing to the penchant of
the colonel for turnips. 1 wrote to him once
and asked for some garden seeds. His good
Of heart and taste in Horticulture was
demonstrated by return mail for he sent me
seeds of thirteen different kinds of turnips.
That made him good fellow with me and
If I had used al those turnips my children
would have been foundered long ago by a
devotion to discussing the merits of thirteen
different kinds of fruit
''Do you fellows know said another of
the party, that Nussbaumer, the superin-
tendent OF Como park. had session with
the colonel once in the matter of seeds.
Nussbaumer wrote to the colonel and told
him that if he would send him some Of the
assortment of bulbs that the agricultural de-
rartment placed at his disposal, for the
adornment Of Como, he would be obliged.
The colenePs idea of bulbs was limited; he
I-pk - ,frIr
he sent him eight bushes of turnip seed.
don't think that argues parsimony-though
it's true that the government furnished the
seed"
They were talking of the merits of some
OF the Republican candidates for place as
city justices, and one of the party told a
new story about an old foreigner who used
to be justice In the Sixth ward lawyer
was engaged to appear In the court of this
particular justice to defend suit brought
against laundry in town. The plaintiff had
no standing in court, but the lawyer thought
he had better be prepared for anything that
came off, and he took couple of books con-
tanning decisions Of the point at issue by the
supreme court. In opening the case he
quoted some law and closed by referring to
the decisions of the supreme court.
Your honor" he said, "the supreme court
has certainly passed upon this matter, and it
is here set forth that If you should decide
against US that you would be reversed fon
appeal ~ -s se-si.er
The case is dismissed" said the justice.
This court will make no decisions that will
be reversed On appeal and he actually
threw the Plaintiffs out of court without go
ing any farther Which goes to show that
there are chumps elected to justiceships as
well as men who hold that the letters 81. p"
mean judgment for the plaintiff
THE PHILISTINE.