The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-06-04

Cincinnati Enquirer: sLemme see." said
the garrulous boarder. Don't they use
lot OF Jerked beef in the army?"
Nav, said Asbury Peppers. at is the
navy that has use for the dried OK"
! Chicago News: He-You look so sweet
IKE to eat you up.
She-Speaking of sweet things, they've
lEst got fine new soda fountain in the
drug store around the corner.
Cleveland Plain Dealer: Don't let any
Spaniards see you with those black cog
giles on
why not?"
They'll take you for a blind pig"
Chicago News: 81 hear that the people
OF Minneapolis have decided that Sigsbee
they are taking back all the nice things
they said about him after the destruction
of the Maine
why is that?'
he in command OF the St Paul now -
Washington Star: rs sea water SALTY
all over the world?" inquired the little boy
VINO is always in pursuit of knowledge.
wen, answered the politician 81
wont be sure about the Hawaiian islands.
Inc sugar trust has been doing so much
GespeIate splashing around there that 1
were more saccharine than saline
Plain Dealer: Il suppose the boys will
oc Sldu 10 cross TO CuDa2'
Glad? They'll be in tlansportsr'
Washington Star: ut has taken long
time to locate the Spanish Ships said
Yes" replied the other: but there's
some satisfaction in rejecting that when
we do get them located a great many are
iiKeiy TO remain in that neighborhood for
several centuries
Chicago Record: 81 wonder what has
become of Coxey's army? Why isn't it
taking part in this warp
i understand that the members refuse
to enlist because they can't go in body
and so preserve their Identity
Chicago. News: .erhey talk about the
horrors OF war but it's good thing in it's
way, after ALL
How do you figure it out?'
Wei. know of at least seven fellows
Who who enlisted instead of going to the Klon-
stand something better than an even
chance OF getting back alive"
Washington Star: "How dare you, SIR
exclaimed Senator Sorghum, with indig-
nation, ''insinuate that there are any mer-
cenary motives connected with my oppo-
sltion OF Hawaiian annexation?"
We'll" was the reply that suspicion
has been freely expressed.
1t is an injustice. sir; a palpable injus-
tice:- No matter which way sugar values
80, can make money, ana the only thing
that keeps me in line is lofty sense of
loyalty to the people who give me the
tip"
Plain Dealer: II suppose you swore
eternal constancy to Fred?'
mo. | told him the length of our en-
gagement depended largely on himself"
In what way?"
Il told him if he hustled around and
fought vigorously, and shortened the war
l would wait for him. But couldn't stand
long struggle"
Chicago News: Tired Treadwell-VYot
an alliance wild England? Not any fer
me! I'm agin it, first, last and all de
Weary Watson-Ain't yer got no pride in
yer country? Think how we could swipe
de rest of de powers. We'd be de whole
ting If we had dat kind of a combina-
ton
Tired Treadwell-Dats all right, but 1
seen an item in a paper dat dey use 400
100000 pounds of soap every year in Eng
land.
He goes about from day to day,
With downcast eyes and weary air;
And yet month ago he might
Have had his pick among the fair
He went away, with martial tread,
To help set stricken Cuba free;
No man among the soldier band
Was more admired than he.
But they sent him home, and ne'er again
May he assume g VIZ 4I:0rs part;
Today the women shuT lim for
Alas, he's got a cigas tie heart!
-Chicago News.
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