Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1898-05-21
Aumurous department.
THE CONGRESSMAN AND THE LOBSTERS.

Mr.. Y. found himself servant OF
the people after the last general cleo
ton. He turned up at Washington as
the representative of congressional
district of his native state-a state far
removed from the seaboard. The
knowledge possessed by Congressman
x. concerning things of the watery
and mysterious deep was at this time
limited. Blindfolded and sealed in the
darkest subcellar that ever yawned,
CONGRESSMAN X. could have distin-
guished red ear of corn from white
one, but with his best spectacles he
could not have told a dolphin from a
marline-spike.
1t was during his first week at the
capital. He reached his hotel late,
and he was tired and hungry. He
determined to have his dinner served
in his room, and rang for waiter
He turned to the sea food on the bill
of fare, attracted no doubt by its COM
parative novelty. Oysters he knew,
thanks to the activity of the Baltimore
packers, and the cheapness with which
square -cornered tin cans are produced.
CLANS were also within his ken. Ex-
perience had shown him, as it has
others, that dozen of either of these
is no such unreasonable number for
consumption at one sitting. He would
have a dozen oysters. "Waiter," he
began. Unlucky moment! His wan:
dering eye caught the word lobster"
Now with this fruit of the sea he had
no personal acquaintance. But anal
ogy, and an underlined general idea,
pointed to it as being very like an
oyster or a clam! "Waiter, bring me
q dozen lobsters."
"Sah ?" returned the astonlshed
waiter.
81 said you may bring me dozen
Holsters.
eyes, sab. I-ah-sah-"
"Well, what's the matter? Don't
you understand ?"
"Oh, yes, sab; understand, sab.
But it's "a large ordeh, sah."
"Large order, is it" exclaimed
CONGRESSMAN X, with some warmth.
"Well, don't you think I can pay for
it? Got to give references before
get my supper, eh ?"
The terrified waiter fled, calling out
as he did so, "Fetch yo' ordeh right
up, sab !" while the congressman sank
back in his chair and mused of what
the heavier courses of his dinner should
consist.
In due time the door opens and en-
ter the waiter, and with him three 9TH
er beings like unto himself each bears
aloft a tray on which repose three lob
sters, red as the morning.
Congressman X. was on the point OF
CRYING out in CONSERVATION, when he
caught a triumphant expression on the
face of the original African. He in-
stantly smothered his emotions, and
looked on languidly as the four depos-
tied their burdens on the table. Then
he waved them away and Strengthened
up. =,
Left alone with his conscience and
twelve broiled Holsters, the statesman
felt that the mighty hour of his exis-
tence had indeed arrived. He was
encouraged to find, however, on ex-
animation, that fair proportion ofthe
lobster consists of horny substance
not intended to be eaten. He was
hungry, and he is what is known in
his state as "good feeder" He ate
three of the Holsters, and then
paused. But the memory of that look
on the walters face spurred him to
action. He emptied his dress-suit case
into his trunk, and therein deposited
the contents of five of the lobster
done up in an evening paper. He
bore another to the window and toss
ed it out. But one remained. He
hesitated, then ate half of it, and rang
for the waiter. The man entered,
surveyed the mountain of empty shells,
and his countenance fell.
"Auytbing else, sab ?" he inquired,
in an awed tone.
"Er, we'll, no 1 think not. It's late.
Just bring me cup of coffee"