The times., 1898-05-08
TALES OF SEVEN DAYS.


Assault after assault had been repulsed,
and MORO Castle was still doing business
at the same old stand Great loss Of
life had been sustained on both sides
The shades of night had gathered in big.
black punches over Havana and adjoin-
ing territory. All was stin as death. save
for the roar OF grumbling cannon and the
explosion Of myriad shelIs-but it wasn't
a shell game.
The commander Of the American forces
now discovered himself seated astride a
cannon BAH. his feet swinging in deep
thought Agitation and concern stood
out on his forehead like seven days with
out shave Reckoning a trusty aide
to his side. ne hoarsely asked:
Have they arrived yet?'
They are now approaching from the
depths Of yOnder hill.' answered the
aide.
Presently the Light Battery OF Literary
invincihles. from Boston. L. s A. lined
Up before the commander. who. now
arose with stately tread and addressed
them thus:
rs this the company or Spanish-speak-
ing invincibles? Do I face the noble men
wha mastered the language OF Weyler at
the expense of Boston landlad;es and 10
the profit of the Boston Gas Company
ern1dOninscrudyn0Ha
vana ." shouted the new arrivals iE eho-
rus. individually and collectively pro-
ducing with very great simultaneousHess
thirty Jhumb-worn spelling and pronounce
ing dictionaries Of the Spanish language.
Enough, Enough cried the com
mander- ''Youder the walls OF 3Iorro
Castle loom UP Ike q lager beer sign on
Dr. sf~-a.
Away, Patriots, and 10 Your cOuEtrys
aid.'
Beneath the guns of MORO Castle The
Light Battery Of Literary Invincibles as
sembled At a command from the cap
tan as one man they lifted up their
voices and with a mighty roar Of disCori
began TO recite in Spanish THE Charge
Of the Light Brigade and other classics.
we are doomed walled the Spanish
commander. anguish in his voice and des-
peratiOu hanging in thick clusters from
his eyebrows. Our undoiug is at handt'
MORO Castles guns were left in silence
the Spanish forces fell into wild confu-
sion and retreated saying: Anything
anything. even death or thirty DAYS is
preferable 10 this.
In ten minutes the Spanish fortifica-
tions were deserted. Havana fell The
fight was won
War makes history. through the pages
of which certain names are handed
down TO posterity.-this phrase about
! handing names down 10 posterity was
| coined in the days when old Ramesis III
| vetoed pension bills from the presidential
| chair of Egypt-are handed down TO pos
| terity. I say, for the benefit OF second
| reader students in grammar schools. This
wa will Ee rp n.
| gree OF dignity in keeping with its i'm
\ portance by handing down 10 dear pos
/ terity galaxy OF names. not now appre-
/ ciated as they deserve. perhaps. ana
| among them the name OF Representative
/ Mccall of Massachusetts viii surely rise
/ up with an illustrous rise. and transcend
/ the memory of his common cOntempOrg-
| ries with Very great transcend And
/ all in one brief minute SIr. Mccall Sc
/ cured this option on choice paragraphs in
history while defending the recent bond
/ issue proposition by exciaiming:
When our country begs for the very
| bread of life. shall We give her crusts
! and carewOrn chesEnuts?
/ Now. of course. there are ''carpinS
| critics '-earping critics do not date
| back to Ramesis by about nineteen years
| who Will be narrOw-minded enough 20
| demand an explanation Of what care
! worn chestnuts'' are; do they Grow on
/ trees. sprout from political aspirations.
/ or, like peanuts. fructify in the ground
| But pOsterity notes not of such carping
/ criticism. POsterity will object not thar
/ a genius dared to scofT az the restrictions
| of English the better TO express his tam
/ gled feelings.
| Meanwhile. Il is currently believed by
! Mr.. McCalrs associates that "careworn
| chestnuts' grow on fruit carts. such -
| haunt the corners of Pennsylvania Ave
| nue. and act as self-appointed censors Of
public appetite. =
But it takes Representative Lewis OF
Washington TO east large chunks of py-
rotechnic oratory upon the waters of de-
bate and make his English whip and
snap like a sheet on the back yard
clothes line Of a windy day. In fact, the
wonderful possibilities Of his genius in
this line had never been fully appreciated
until two days after the battle in the
Philippines. when on the floor of the
House he exclaimed:
This glorious victory achieved by the
brave iIlustrious Commodore Dewey has
wound the Stars and Stripes around the
scepter of Neptune to become menace
to tyranny and wrong forever"
| Representative Walker OF Massachu-
| setts arose 70 make facetiOUs inquiry,
| probablN lhSpiESd oS ti'c HdHic oL -Nrp-
! tune and wanted TO know what the gen.
| tleman from Washington was talking
! about.
For the benefit of the gentleman from
Massachusetts. who speaks magnificen5ly
| and votes unhappily. l would under
take an explanation" replied Mr.. Lewis.
But because some of his associates on
that side of the House have displayed
such singular density in the past, / now
hesitate and question my own limited
powers of elucidation.
That was enough. The gentleman from
Massachusetts, subsidized and withdrew