Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1898-07-24

here much Of its.sg Pas have
| found to my diseo5ntagE "a
One morning shortly after ~ ar
rival i set out to do a little marketing
| attracted by the display Of pdEgtoss, SO
entered and said: DIP
| peck?' Is
We don't sell 'ern by the peck, mis-
se Cents ans IS au..r, the grocer, Potatq
This surprised me. However. I didn't
want to appear green. so l continued:
or course. Nice-looking tomatoes
those. How much a quartz
Quart. mister! Laws, tomats don't
sell by the quart! They're 10 cents a
pound
This was another surprise; still. i
peaches.
Peaches ought to be getting cheap
by this time said l. What are these
worth a-e,- pound?
The villain was beginning to grin.
his IDEAS OF Il humorous situation be-
ing low and crude-and I saw that
was on the wrong track again
We don't sell 'em by the pound
returned my tormenter. Peaches is 20
cents small measure
Il surrendered Internationally after
that and threw myself on his mercy
Tell me- humbly asked, what is
u small measure?'
That stuck the grocer. was re-
jolced to note. He scratched his head
in Il perpleNed way for moment, then
he said:
Why, as to that. mister measure
is measure There is small measures
and large measures. which Is the only
difference betwixt them that know of.
You can see for yourself how much
h(N1f ' BOO l~,-<
ket the capacity OF which was a trife
less than quarter of peck, and an
other twice as large. Honors being
about even, concluded to give him
another chance
III take a large measure Of your
apples. II the price is right. offered;
but Tie grocer resumed his grin and
shook his head
Apples go by the quart he OBJ
jected. I collapsed temporarily. recov-
cred and plunged recklessly into Il
vortex of quantities from which I
emerged mental wreck. Everything
in measuration was upside dowrl-av-
ordupois, dry, liquid. cubic linear,
square measure was hopelessly miSap.
piled. No two vegetables or fruits, il
seemed. We're sold by a common meas.
ure.
My wife had charged me to pur-
chase some cream. so on my way home
! stepped into dairy shop. favored the
dairyman with cold, steely glance
and said With deep emotion:
~ want a rod of cream It dazed
him. bu, paid no attention to that.
Or. if it is not sold by the foot,
yard, or rod I continued, getting down
to surveyors measure, give me a link
of the fluid
1T was evident he thought me crazy,
but l was still suffering from the eff
rectS of the nervous shock received at
the grocer's, and didn't care what he
thought.
Apparently you don't sell the az
ticle according to that measure I went
on. Very we'll. give me liter Of the
beverage.
He was in agony by this time, and I
saw the word police forming On his
boodess lips. so concluded to put him
out OF his misery.
What l want said l. is pint of
cream
9 "A pint of cream. he repeated slow
ly on coming TO. We don't sell cream
by the pint
My first impulse was to kill him. but
] thought better of it, being a stranger
in New York, and asked him:
In the name OF all you hold dear
and sacred Will you kindly tell me how
else you possibly could sell it?'
Why. as to cream. SIR he replied.
apparently more astonished than ever
by this question, we sell it by the
pound
That was the final straw and stag
gered home to make my wife solemnly
promise never to send me out again to
do the marketing and TO employ
guardian and statistician when she
Went HERSELF"