New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1898-02-14
THE TALK or THE DAY.

Some time ago one Of President Kragers youna
relatives applied to him for an Office. Il sorry
but can do nothing" was the grim reply Of tho
President. The high Offices OF the State are IN
good hands, and for little clerkshps you are TOO
stupid"
II spec" said the colored inhabitant as h. rubbed
his head. dat de railroad gwine ter sue fer
damages"
What did you do?'
II went ter sleep on de track. sub. end De enigma
struck me run of. en- smashed itsef ter pieces"
-tAtlanta Constitution.
An abandoned railway tunnel running for q
mile under the city Of Edinburgh. has been used
for some yearc a mushroom farm. II turns on.
nearly FIVE thousand pounds OF mushrooms month.
and has put end 10 the importation OF foreign
mushrooms into Edinburgh.
What would be a suitable birthday presen. for
my little boy inquired the fond mother.
Let me think" returned the star boarder, Who
occasionally liked TO sleep late , In the morning.
solved a problem he added: How would gag o.
a straitja cket do?"-tChicago Post.
1T was during the administration OF Governor
Albion X. Paris" says The Kennebec Cle) Jour.
nal" that General Lafayette made his memorable
tour Of the United States, and paid his visit 20
Maine II was on a Sunday that the General con.
cluded that v,sit and proposed leaving the STATE
from Portland. Governor Paris demonstrated with
him for taking his departure that day and said:
II you will postpone your trip until Monday VIII
myself escort you the State line with all the mill.
tary honors' But Lafayette. accustomed 20 the
Continental Sabbath. insisted on not altering his
plans and left Maine on Sunday, while the Sab.
bath-honoring Governor Of God-fearlng State at
tended his church service as was his habit
Heartless Wretch.-4Irs. Ferry-That husband Il
Jenny McCluezers is the most heart!ess wretch
Mr.. Ferry~Rcaly. my dear, you seem indignant,
h no "Duing 20 AIN he bsbv 70 CIV every rnorn
ing at o'clock. so that It's father won't over
sleep himself?'-(Cincinnati Enquirer.
The Atlanta Constitution" tells OF curious yer.
dict recently rendered by Georgia Jury in case
where the guilt Of the prisoner was clearly es'ab-
lished. II was not thought the jury would be ten
minutes in recommending him for the pen,entiary.
but three hours elapsed before the twelve men fled
into court again. when verdict OF Not guilty"
was read to the astonishment Of all
How could you bring in such verdict. after the
evidencer' asked the Judge.
Well ledge" replied the foreman. hes a man
OF large family and lost one leg and two sons n
the war;
A youth Of this city has been desperately n love
with OF Woodfords lasses, and as token Ok
his esteem sent her bracelet After sae nad re-
cely cd IT. and hung II on her dainty arm, and rs
had locked II with his lily-whte hands there csms
a cruel rival. who promptly relieved the arm Of 10
ornament. and then came the trouble The George.
town youth heard OF the action or his Noo1t0rd
County rival. and at once wrote the young woman
70 return the token Of friendship She answered ~
saying she had destroyed II. but II he would send
her statement OF the cost OF the bracelet she
would pay him for the same The young man sent
the bill 8 follows
ITO Bracelet 81 30 Please remit by return mail
Terms strictly cash No. goods sen, on S3ppT,o o "A
It's all over now.-(Paris (ky) Reporter
Bills have Just been introduced in the Maryland
Legislature 10 place married women on the same
legal standing as their husbands In the matter G!
holding or transferring property.
He Didn't Really Mean It-"Cioodhy, professor"
said the sweet girl graduate. Il shall always re-
member you kindly for to you an indebted Cor al
know" Say no more" replied the professor.
SAY no more Such a trhe is not worthy Of a
The will OF the late Major John Hancock, OF
Pittsburg. reads follows: Having confidence In
the honesty OF Major George Bright Halsteai for
merly OF Newark y. J.. now OF the Hermitage. on
Lake Mnnetonka, Hennepin County MINI. whose
friendship / formed in the infamous Libby Prison
Richmond. Va, while ve prisoners OF
In the summer OF 1862 l hereby appoint him ex-
ecutor Of this my last will and order and direct
that no bond shall be exacted from him in any
court for its execution"
What wonderful painter Rubens vas"
marked Mr.. Jones at the art gallery. Yes as
scented Mrs. Jones. 1T IL said Of him that he could
change a laughing face into sad one by single
stroke" why" spoke up little Johnny. in disgust.
my schoolmaster can do that'-(Pearson's Weekly.