The times., 1898-12-25
PRESS AGENTS ROUND TABLE.

There is man in Cleveland who imag-
ines that he can write poetry A great
many people imagine they can write
poetry who know little more about it than
a butcher does. This man also admires
Roland Reed. a number of other men ad-
mire Roland Reed. But the gentleman
in question believes also that he is a hu-
morist when, instead, he is only an Eng
lishman. This is the result of the COM
bination:
How one can laugh at Roland Reed
How one can laugh, and laughing cry,
FOR with his fun there comes the need
OF paving TO the ribs due heed
The auditor must laugh die.
The smile that comes with Roland Reed
Is not the smile ones mouth defines
It is not of the usual breed
But comes from taking Rolands lead
And with him reading tween the lines
His humor is so very dry
The humor of our Roland Reed
That one rolls in his seat and
Always remark when he is nigh:
Cheer up, my friend, want TO buy
seat to rolland-resd.'
And the press agent says that seats
went on sale last Thursday. Diagrams of
the joke will be furnished at the box Of
flee of the Columbia Theater.
Colonel VIII Mcconnell has Just re-
turned from Paris. to which CITY he went
for the purpose of attending to some busi-
ness affairs for Charles Frohman But
even the best of men cannot always put
work before play and the energetic rep
resentative had his troubles while in the
gay capital as natural result of his de-
sire for enjoyment. 1t seems that the
colonel was walking down the street
one day when his attention was caught by
an unusually pretty girl standing in front
of a jewelry store. This parsonage had
red cheeks and black eyes and a mouth
that sent invitations all over the country
Mr.. Mcconnell is n married man. but
married men are not all freproof and he
stopped to look at the woman. She noted
his glance and smiled more broadly.
The press agent had heard all about the
wickedness of Paris, but he was abashed
She didn't look to be that kind of girl
at all. Mr.. Mcconnell was sure that he
had been mistaken regarding the purpose
of the smile. He was indulging in this
idea when the possessor of the mouth ap-
preached and spoke to him. Mr.. McCon-
nell dropped all scruples. He does not un-
derstand Ere nch rerY well, but he caught
some of the words spoken and answered
as best he could that he was glad to make
the divinitys acquaintance. The woman
smiled again and said something else Mr..
Mcconnell answered. :. Then there was a
third bit of dialogue and the charmer took
the arm of her vis-a-vis. The press rep
resentative yielded at once and walked
with the girl-into the jewelry store
There's a whole lot more to the story,
but Mr.. Mcconnell doesn't enjoy 1t and
consequently the rest is omitted. But one
may say in brief that the charmer wasn't
really a bit fiirtatious-that she was a
married woman with three children and
earned an honest living by enticing pass
ers-by into the shop of an established
jeweler. And the diamonds on Mr.. Nc
Connell's hand were bought simply be-
cause he didn't care to confess ignorance
of foreign language and designs upon a
perfect lady.
One of James O'Neilrs greatest triumphs
in the prime of his youth was his imper-
sonation of Claude Melnotte in THE Lady
of Lyons" This performance was forci-
bly, called to his mind the other day in
New York when he was standing In the