Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1898-03-02
aYausiae Gatherings.

p@ The thrifty housewife never at
tains perfection, for she is always
mending.
seS- Observation-Disclosures that you
can't eat too much fruit. Patient
Adam did.
p4- Never cry over split milk. The
milkman has already wasted enough
water on it.
p6r The moment a man is satisfied
with himself everybody else is dissat.
isfied with him.
p@ Advice is cheap except with
lawyers and physicians. So live that
you may avoid them.
p8 Don't be hasty in your speech,
for "a word and stone once let go
cannot be recalled"
p@r The world is all a feeting show,
we say, but somehow we want to see
the show little longer.
p@ A woman's heart is small af-
fair, but it can upset the biggest man
that ever adorned this world.
p& Don't scold. 1t spoils faces. Be-
fore you know it your forehead will
resemble small railway map.
p@ There are books in abundance on
how to give dinners. How to get them
is another part of the business.
p8 Never does a man portray his
own character more vividly than in
bis manner of portraying another's.:
D8 The difference between blonde
and locomotive is that one has q
light head and the other headlight.
pdT The man who originated the say
ing, Hurry is the mark of a weak
mind" never was chased by bulldog.
sd Apropos of the Maine disaster,
it is well to remember that the less an
opinion is worth the more fippantly is
it expressed.
p6 "It's hahd," said Uncle Eben,
"foh er man ter excuse boy fob bein'
as foolish at 18 years OBJ age as he wah
hisse'f at 25."
s~ Whatever you have to do, do it
with all your might. Many lawyer
has made his fortune simply working
with a will.
p& North Carolina has the oldest
twins in the world-Hugh and Hector
Mclean, SO years old. Long live
Hugh and Hector
p6r Human flesh is heir to 2, 400 diff
ferent diseases The intelligent DOC
tor is bound to hit some of them in
examining patient.
pH Melons were grown by the old
Greeks and Romans, and were carried
to America by Columbus. The water
melon is native of Africa.
s~ When George Coleman, the
younger, was asked if he knew Theo-
dore Hook, he said, "Oh, yes; Hook
and eye are often together"
n6- The cabbage still grows wild in
Greece, where it originated. Radishes
were native to China, but have been
grown in Europe for centuries. i.
H~ Victor Hugo had a level head
when he said, "A man should not he
so absorbed in Divine law that he can
not apprehend the human law"
sV A man may have an intense love
for children, but it all departs for a
time when he clutches the aftermath
of molasses candy on the doorknob.
s~ The Commercial Bulletin tells of
a tramp so devoted to his profession
that he will never play cards for fear
that he may have to handle a spade.
sF According to a Bangor despatch,
there have been shipped from Aroos-
took county, Maine, thus far this year
125 carloads of potatoes to points in
the south.
tW Do not carry on conversation
with another in company about mat.
ters which the general company know
nothing of. 1t is almost as impolite as
to whisper.
I@ "And aren't they married yet ?"
"No. You see she would not marry
him till he had paid his debts, and he
could not pay his debts till he had
married her."
s@r "Have you felt slippers ?" in
quired an old lady in a shoe store.
The clerk, who was new at the busi-
ness and young, answered, eyes,
ma'am, many time"
s4 The safest course, if caught in a
thunder storm, is to allow oneself to
become thoroughly soaked. The
chances of safety from lightning are
ten to one in favor of the wet person.
~ eyes, grandma, when I grad
uate, intend following a literary ca
reer-write for money, you know"
"Why, Willie, my dear, you haven't
done anything else since you've been
at college,"
w Not 80 crazy as she seemed was
a female inmate of one of our Massa-
chusetts asylums who complained Of
illness, and on the physician asking
her what she would like to take, said,
II would like to take the cars for
home"
w~ "Say, conductor, why don't this
train 60 on ?" inquired a red-haired
passenger, with his head out of the
car-window. "Put your head in" re-
piled the conductor. "How can you
expect it to 60 on when the danger
signal is out?
~ "Does the world miss any one ?"
inquired a disconsolate maiden of some
81 summers and 8 moons over. 1.-THE
world will very likely continue to
Miss you," said her younger sister.