New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1898-08-01
THE NEW POSSESSIONS.

fIooray for our conquest far over the sea;
Its glory-wth rapture ! tell 1t; IA, TO-,
It's name has a music which fills me with glee.
-(Washington Star.
Whom General Andrew g Burt was colonel Of the
7h United States Infantry. he was watching target
nractce one day on the range ut OF the Western
forts The Colonel an erratic shot. Sometimes
he could make a brilliant record, and then he woula
suddenly become unable to hit the side OF onrn.
The private who shooting pumped bullets
here. there and everywhere until Coione! bur. oe
came disguised
Here give me that gum" he ordered.
The man obcyed Tho Colonel took careful aim,
let ny and hit tho bulls-cyc squnrely.
That's the way shoot" he said triumphantly.
Encouraged by his success he drew bead and fired
again. This time his aim was treacherous ana the
bullet never hit the target nj all.
Tho enlisted man tried to cover up a smile But
the Colonel was not In the least discounted.
That's the way you shoot" no said coolly. and
handed back the gun.
He Had-Fond Fathcr-so you have told lie.
yGnnE man h .f h yDg efT aT from me O'
Johnny-Yes str; have.-dAfe
Not long ago tho suez Canal Commissioners were
ehocked by an audacous application from tho rep
rescntatve Of three firms whose products were DIS
cults chocolate and soap respectively TOT perHlS-
sion 10 advertise these on the banks OF the canal
YEARLY rental Of ~ 600 being offered for the priN-
cordlng 10 an Egyptian paper. the 'Imparzinle,
,hero wa, recently found painted In oil. In
enormous characters over tho entrance slab OF the
Pyramid OF Cheops nj Ghizeh. the legend sank
Dundee Whskey" The advertisers had gone one
better than tn. suez Canal applicant. for they had
dlsp.nsed with the formality OF asking any ones
permission. How the trick was done the Impair
,ioe'' cannot understand for the pyramids are sup
nosed 10 be watched by Bedouns day and night
But alas tho advertisers labor has been lost.
hard- hearted and unsympathetic Direction Arch@o-
logauc OF Cairo give orders for the erasure OF the
inspirtlng legend.
Got Il Right at t.ast.-A farmer who had lost
son In the war employed the village poet to ~rite
obituary which ran as tolloWs'
He for his country 1T and fout
Until Death blowod his candle out
THAT won't do" .nid the bereaved parent. KAYE
they don't us" candles now. Take another "h'r'
Tho zoe, squared his jaws. and presently pro-
duccd tho following;
.Hc ut md fout With gun ana knife
TIL Dcnth howeh out the gas ot ne
That's better now exclaimed the farmer; I've
hlowed out the gas myself a-many time TAT
lnnta Constitution.
Albert Chevalier the king ~ coster song sing
ers WINS once asked what was tho most unpeas-
ant experience OF his stage llfe We'll" he said
'r will tell YOU II happened in n very handsome
hall in the Midands. The whole ~ the back and
tho sides were covered with immense plateglass
mirrors knew nothing about II until | walked
on the stage, and then, for the first time In my
ne. I saw myself ma others. as my audiences. see
me- The effect vas weird In tho extreme. II UNI
neryed me 1t was positively terrifying. Instead
OF concentrating my attention upon my work. |
found myself watching. studying. Chevalier' Never
ngain No, thank YOU avoid halls that are gilt
terins masses of plate glass mirrors"