The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1898-01-30
HIGH HATS OR WHISPERS.
TBEIR ADVANTAGES AS THEATRE
HUIsANoEs CONTRlsTED.

The DteGusfea rat Wounn Assnres the RES.
Hatred. Ereehie-Fneea Gtri That rhe's
aotnG 90 Start . Crusade rsr the Abe
itisa OF raatr en- the Saascuiiao Face.
Two women can make n whole cable car full
OF men squirm sometimes. It may DO with
amusement and then aeainit may not; there 10
such q thing AZ discontinue in this world. Two
Of them met In a Columbus avenue oar the other
morning very early. just when mankind Ia rush
ing TO business, and before they'd travelled
twenty blocks together they had every man In
the car either wishing that he weren't there or
feeling glad that he had hit on that particular
car. Ono was fat, not fair, and considerably
over 10. Sho was comfortably seated about
midway In the car, with plenty OF room on each
side Of her for tho voluminous folds OF her silk
lined skirts. Three mon stood directly in front
OF her. The other was n tall. slender girl, with
largo freckles on her face and q dash OF natural
red In her hair.
"Why, why in the world are you going down
town so earlyf' she exclaimed, catching sight OF
her fat friend and planting herself before hor.
II thought you never brenktastcd before H."
II don't. as a rule" answered the fat woman,
but I couldn't sloep a wink last night-that Is,
hardly ANY, was 30 furious. So I thought I
might as well get up and go dow to Chcap&
No Goods bargain sale OF fine underwear before
the rush begins"
you furious last night" calculated the girl
In a surprised voice. "wby, ! thought you gave
O small dinner, followed by q theatre partyf'
80 ! did" answered she Of largo dimensions.
And 1t was the theatre party that upset me.
You know We won't to tho Vampire Theatre.
We'll, j had eight seats in the fourth row,
centre aisle. The two girls in the party had on
lovely picture hats. and I had on my new velvet
bow bonnet. oh, It's 90 becoming, dear. You
know It's one OF these with broad wings down
- Al. .tlAa Arl 49, 1An- Nt-, .~I "a hAa Gle -
seven punches Of those long, waving plume
a~igrettes in front Just to give it style. OF
course, we weren't going to take those hats of.
because there Is absolutely no accommodation
in the theatres for women's hats, and / for one
won't leave mine In q dressing room, for 1 won't
risk my life in the scramble to get It again.
I'VE got half way through tho first act beau
tifully when O lot Of men came in and took the
seats in front Of us. After that my evening was
completely spoiled and SO was Polly PcgginR-
toms. Because the man who sat directly In
front OF me was q perfect mountain Of flesh.
with the most horrible growth of side wins.
pletely INSTRUCTED my view Of the stage; They
were these coarse, curly, bristly, wiry whiskers
e eoai ny ny. G and that at mann lant didn't mt Keep aalo sill a aI seco sSI
Whenever ! got my, eyes In a position where 1
head to that side, and was just as well Cd as a
blind man so far as the play went"
m Tss s1ssn sSiiSS op %sH AND and s ssesS to Sl ,at sn aS
hcayyweights with side whiskors got down be;
in the editorials Of the day. The stout woman
drew q long breath and then continued:
next to her. Of course. and said to me-: Look at
this mans fierce mustache in front of me-. 1
bling up and down and out, that I'm on the verge
Of a at. The men talk. about our aigrettes!
| Never aigrettes grew on horon's back that could
| he an eynRnaratinV ma that mustacha'
Bosh, ! said. that's nothing to these PEI:
fsrian whiskers IN front Of me- and that hateful
hibit in front Of us without another word. because
crosses in patience, but what do you think hap.
pened . A snip OF an usher Il would like to have
and said to me, The management kindly re.
guests the ladies Of your party to remove your
hns w bid yS do ey yon he sSi Gf such i snls IL Ri9 >
soa!a hear i, toe; ! said You ten the man:
move their hats L the gentlemen in front viii
shave on their whiskers. Hair e a. hard to peg
they haven't bothered us with much on the tops
audlbly and the others looked at their watches,
With q bored expression or seemed suddenly TO
9PBidn'e 1 get the best Of him :" continued the
sps' Eop Ia + ha rasp hnd i 2 fs fo .es w xSlss a bomb sdmS
fell among those men. The one in front of me
laughed loud enough to burs. a bloodyessel;
tions that would shame a professional woman
acrobat, and the man on the end, who had long,
brought out on either side over his shoulders.
turned deliberately around and stared us al.
Q poor time for their money the rest of
the evening. We discussed every style
man. and fsdvGnced the opinion that in those
States and cities where a law or ordinance Is
passed to prohibit women from wearing, hats in
side of It, prohibiting men from wearing hair
on their faces in the theatres, or at least pro;
thought Of It after ! got home the more the idea
appealed to me. We women put up with too
disaRreeable things about us and to us and in
our hearing concerning our hats in places Of
seSisa aseif ia %aa w Ts,Es ~T TissSus an 80 m %Gias's ss
+ Ill., any SnIS !o. .ss;:;.t ia "a J IT. ssi]r I. e e. i1 nsSs
nesting sst Of the Rapid and Radical Reform Club.
Do you know. I'd just dearly low, to start a
direction Wouldn't 1t give, the male sex a sur
prise party IL we could get 2 law passed making
whiskers on the china goatee, I believe, they
call it,,inside OF u theatre or place OF amusement
never hear another word about our hatsss long
as Wo lived, not even II we wore trimmed UNI
ed a bewhiskered Individual at a smooth.faced
old chap next to him.. and then the smooth.faced
ono chuckled more than ever.
How splendid" responded she Of the Fitz.
much tormented by WHISPERS in front Of me as
ever the men behind me have been tormented
by feathers In front OF them, but / never eX-
pressed it because I was afraid people would
think mo crazy. oh. II / only had the courage
of my convictions as you have" with a melo-
dramatic look Of admiration at her stout friend.
We'll. hair mattresses would depreciate In
value, ! can tell you, for there wouldn't be a
hair left on the face Of man to torment woman
kDhnp Qhn Ia win II IN n m 4 4 nll IN NIL nf
life. Which do you find more aggravhting to
sit behind. these bushy side whiskers that soon
head. which was such a horror to you when a
child. or one OF the force Kaiser.like mustaches
that stick way out and curl up at the ends y
But the fat woman's answer was lost, for she
and her friend had reached their street before
she could give II.
e! always did say look out for a red.haired.
heSvyWoishts smoothing downihis sidors. ''
And as for a fat ono. who cant hold her
tongue remarked one of his friends with nm
Rcross.th he. water mustache but he was too
filled with emotion to say more.