The herald., 1898-11-18
Mr.. DOOLEY and
THE NATIONAL fDIFICE

Mr.. Hennessy appeared later than usual
and wore a battered and tired appearance.
'Where ye been, little man!' asked Mr..
Dooley.
Down lookin' at tn rayturns," said Mr..
Hennessy.
"An' how'd they look?" asked Mr. Doo-
ley.
Bad" said Mr.. Hennessy. "Bad. Ted
dy Rosenfelt's elected, an tn on'y gleam iv
hope we have is that Scede Dimmycrat
has won out up be Minnysoty."
"A Swede Dimmycrat!" said Mr. Doc.
ley. "'Tis onthrue. They're no Swede
Dimmycrats. Swedes comes firm coun-
thry where tn liquor thrade's in tn hands
iv tn governmint, an ivrybody votes FIR
tn administration. No, sir. This year
they ARE no Swede Dmmycrats. Th' mans
fusion, or whativer It's they calls thin,
an Ike as not whin he gets into tn job
twill turn out that he's Republican
with lanin' to'rd dhrinkin' alcohol out
iv a pop bottle. If We was as old as am--
but ye ARE as old as l am, man alive"
I'm not" said Hennessy. Il was on'y
five years old when ye swore yeersilf out
iv tn dnraft because ye was over age"
"Ye lie" said Mr.. Dooley. But be that
as it may, if ye raymmbered as well as
| do an wasn't given to hyin' up in th'
air wanst year before Election day, an
think iv yeersilf goin' over at tn head iv
comfy to congratulate tn successful can
didate, ye'd not take this highly disthressin'
event as a gr-reat sorrow. We have a few
good la-ads holdin jobs over in the city hall,
safe firm TIL wintry gales, an what tn
divvle do we care whether Teddy Rosenfelt
has bit his way into a good thing or not!
As | tol ye wanst befure, tn stronger we
ar-re in Washington tn weaker we ar-re in
tn ward. Whin big Cleveland was pris.
dint they was tn blackest Republican
that iver carried torch swingin' tn r-red
bridge. lie held me up FIR an hour comm
home firm mass wan Sundah, an wuddent
TURN tn bridge. l rolled kag iv beer
again him tn mex time he passed me place.
"No Hinnessy, tn Dmmycratic party is
not doomed to victhry. It's good critic
but bad actor IT'S gr-reat to stand in
the pit an heave eggs at McDuff in the
play iv 'McBeth's Firtation,' but whin it
gets on tn stage it thrips over its soord am
f'rgets what it intinded to say, an fin'lly
ends be peggn' tn stage manager into tn
bass dhrum. 1t never gets an oncoore.
"To put it th' way yell understand,
Hinnissy, 'tis like me cousin Mike wanst
when he was in dhrinlS, as he was part iv
tn time. He come along to where man
be tn name iv Grogan was layin' brick
There wasn't a worse bricklayer than Gro
gan between tn river and tn packin' house,
an he was layin' brick tn way some men
shoves coal: Lave off, there says me
Cousin Mike. 'Ye're maxim show iv
ye-ersilf an disgracin' tn noble ART iv
bricklayin',' he says. That WALL he says,
III look like tn homeward thracks iv a
wake Sc says. May hivin f'rgive ye,' he
says, if We trent it to amy wan,' he says.
'fr twill desthroy tn poor women an
! childher that moves into it, he says. An
he wept. He was sintimintal man whn in
dhrink. Well, Grogan got that mad. Come
up here he says, come up, ye great ON
adhon,' he says, AN see if ye can do bet
ther,' he says. An me Cousin Mike wint
up. He was as good theretrical brick
layer as We iver see, but he'd no sooner
rot tn throwel in his hand an called
mort thin along come man firm Mayo he
didn't like He dhropped TIL trowl an
begun sthrippin' off layers an whin tn
polls come that Grogan called he had dis
thributed tn first sthory an was pluckin'
at tn foundations.
$50 be TIL Dimmycratic party. Th' Ray
pubicans gets into office an begins wur-
rukin' at what Hogan calls tn naytional
edifice. An they do pretty well FIR awhile,
an whin ivrybody begins to think that some
day tn naytonal edifce II be fit to live in,
10 an behold, tn bricklayers goes wrong.
They begin to put bay windows all over tn
naytional ediice an mansard roof on tn
basemint an towers an stained glass win
dies so no wan can see in an thin they get
tired an turn over tn job to jerrybuild-
ers an We see man mortarin' tn bricks
with flour paste an putin in onsaisoned
timber an gettn' rake-off firm tn man
that sells tn slate FIR tn roof. IT'S thin tn
| Dimmycratic party is sthrong. Glory be-
says tn Dimmycratic party, what kind OF
an old gazaboo is that they're stickin' over
tn fr-rnt stoop,' or Lord save us firm
harm, is that man thryin' to mix mortar
without hair?' An they roar an kick an
wake up tn neighborhood an r-run TIL jerry
builders up an alley. An they take tn con-
thract on their own hands an wan man
thries to build a Audjitoroom or a Tooler-
ese an another man on tn opposite side
is buildin a shot tower. That is, sometimes.
Mos times they don't get higher thin th'
top iv TIL ladder whn hod iv bricks falls
on their heads. Between wan party an tn
other whin tn naytional editice is through
with, you an I'll want to go somewhere
an sleep in tent.
Im Dimmycrat, but I'm not lcokin'
FIR vcthry. I'm standin' over here with
brick in me hand, r-ready an willin' to cor
rect tn man that's putin two bricks to-
gether wrong acrost tn sthreet. IT'S safer
an 'tis more injy y'ble."
Il think I'll turn Poplist," said Mr..
Hennessy, despondently.
"'Tis not so bad" said Mr.. Dooley.
''Ther naytional edifice is cyclone cellar"
Copyrighted, 1893, by the Chicago Jour-
nal.
Santa Barbara Notes