Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1898-11-17
SOCIAL IsTERoo URsE.
A Vast Difference Between Lavish and
Agreeable Hospitality. sitff tl.l.

A Vast Difference between Lavish anu
Agreeable Hospitality. ssgf E.1l
Many young wife, especially il her
mems ARE small, fancies that 1t will be
economical and right to give up all
society-thinks it is her duty to de-
vote herself" as she calls it, ito her
husband and home' and to these alone. |
1--WE have one another, we shall not |
want any other society," she says and
no doubt at the time she believes this
to be the truth, but later she is almost
sure to discover that she made mis-
take in so thinking and saying. For no
couple can or should live entirely for
and to themselves. A certain amount
of social intercourse, says the editor of
| the woman's department of the Phila-
delphia Times, is absolutely necessary
| for those who desire to lead happy,
cheerful, useful lives. but with our
small MEANS" some young housekeeper
will excaim, Eve cannot afford to
entertain, y and she is right. People
with small means cannot do SO, for to
entertain properly costs great deal
| of money 1t is, however, not neces-
sary, nor is it expected of young mar
ried people who have just started
housekeeping, and whose means are
small, "to entertain,n but they can be
hospitable, and see their friends quietly,
lswithout any great expense being in
Cured, and to show hospitality lis
what everybody should try to do. Be-
tween hospitality and entertaining
there is an immense difference, although
a great many people refuse to see it.
and. therefore, decide that because
they cannot do the one, they will not
even attempt to do the other. As u
rule, men do not trouble about small
matters of etiquette A great many of
them, in fact, would not even notice
whether any little detail was correct
or incorrect, unless their attention was
called to the subject by their female
belongings. Women, however, notice
any little mistake at once, and this is
as it should be, for upon the woman
falls the arrangement and performance
of all social duties. She it is who
sends out the invitations, to whom the
replies are addressed, and who receives
the guests on their arrival, and it is
her reception of them that gives, as il
were, the keynote to the party, for,
however cordial, hospitable and pleas
ant q host may be, il the hostess is not
the same, none of the guests will be
at ease. or fell that they are welcome.
: A hostess should always be ready
and waiting in the drawingroom to re-
ceive her guests when they arrive
! Especially should this be the case when
the hostess has not had enough expert
} ence in this particular social duty, for
/ if she is late, she has to hurry and make
, apologies, which probably make her
, nervous and flurried, and drive out Of
her mind what she most wished and
intended to remember; und to hurry,
} too, generally means fuss and hustle,
: and no time even to think if all is
right and none to sec that it ia. An
unpunctual mistress general has un-
punctual servants, and if they should
t not be very well trained into the bar
gain, confusion and failure are sure tc
BIZ the order of the day or evening. II
: is, too, breach of good manners, tc
ask guests to come at stated hour,
5 and then not be ready to receive them.
3 Avoid all hurry and confusions and tt
. do this young hostess should moi
merely try to be in time, but take time
Y by the forelock, and be beforehahdet
with him in these matters--at any
9 rate, until she has gained experience,
1 and knowledge. In showing hospitality
S let simplicity be your keynote. Nevel
: attempt to dc or have anything beyont
g what your means justify. When having
) friend or few. friends to dinner
n keep strictly to those things that ar,
4 in season, then you may be sure tina
, they will not be expensive, and ye
d they will be good. A plain dinner
!, well cooked and nicely served, is IL
/, far better taste and much more APP
preciated than any amount of mad
II dishes badly cooked and badly served
h So, no wise mistress would or SHOULD
Z; attempt more than she feels sure he
y household is capable of accomplishing
e True hospitality means the doing AM
d giving freely and heartily-the bes
o you can, and of the best you have. II
= as often happens, in small household
y and with a young hostess, any littl
mistake is made, or some small thin
h is forgotten, it is better to let tn
'f matter pass, if unobserved. Calm
attention 10 it before guests does n
q real good, but it often makes thos
III present feel uncomfortable, and in a
le probability many of them would nc
'. have noticed that anything had bee
he overlooked, or any error committed,
is their attention had not been attraete
a to it by their host or hostess. In a
lg these cases silence is, indeed, golden.