The Kootenai herald. [volume] (Kootenai, Idaho) 1891-1904, 1898-01-29


Military OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES
Good evening, Miss. You look like a
regiment of rosebuds tonight. Pile
gende Batter.
''They say all the necessares of life
are very dear in the IIlondike.' Not
at all. Ice is so cheap they can't give
1t away. Puck.
Photographer-"No try to look like
yourself" Noting the eflect)-"Well-
er, Inn; try to look Hike somebody
else. Harlem Life.
Johnny-"Papa, what is a faction?'
Papa-'It is n term used to describe
that section of the party TO which you
do not belong. Puck.
Friend-"This seems to be comfort
able flat" Harlemite-'It does 1t
makes that impression on everybody
who doesn't live in it.'-Puck.
Elderly Coquette Csentlmentally)-
Eyes, my dear Mr.. Assessor. love is
eternal" Assessor (frightened)- $50
perceive. Fliegende Batter.
Experience" said Uncle Eben, 'is
er good teacher; but education is li'ble
ter be wasted on er man dat don pen
on muffin else" Washington Star.
A Long Head-"Why does that hard
drinking Beasley wear his hat all the
timer For fear he can't get it on If
he takes il off. Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
Mistress Bridget, are there any let
tiers for me this morning. Bridget
"Only two postal cards. but there's
nothing of Importance in them. File
gende Batter
A Dilemma.-"Well, George, dear,
what do you think of my new hatY
IL wish / knew knew what?"
''What am expected to think. "-Cleve-
land Plain Dealer.
How 1t May Be.-"People are not
please another" II guess that's right.
What is one mans bicycle is another
mans juggernaut." Puck.
IL hear" said the zephyr. that you
have been raging through the north
west" Never was a worse mistake"
howled the blizzard. 81 was quite
cool. ''-Indianapolis Journal.
He docking out at the, window Its
so bright and cheerful within and so
cold and gloomy without She
without WHAT" He-"Nhy. without
you. dearest. Chicago News.
Marriage said the Sentimental
Girl, lis lottery" But the trouble
is said the pessmistic Bachelor,
that the man takes most of the
chances. ''-Indianapolis Journal.
How He Filled in His Time.-Magis-
trate-''What do you do during the
week." Tramp Nothing" Magis-
trate-"And on Sunday" Tramp
Then l take day Off Tit Bits.
Husband Maria, wake up quick
The house is on fire You save the
baby Wife-"Oh. my wheel. my
WHEEL" Husband-"Come on. | car
red that ont first. Rochester Herald
First Mother-"Dont you find it 4
great relief to have the children il
school AGAIN. Second Mother-"Well
it would he if they didn't learn st
many new questions to ask. Tit Bits
Jean-"Why do you never speak I,
Mr.. OutreI He is uncouth. but fee
sure he is diamond in the rough
Katherine-'SO do |. That's why In
cutting him. "-Cincinnati Commercial
Good Friend.-"I have reason to sus
pect that your husband is flirting witt
other women. You ought to follow hin
wherever he goes" Great heavens
My husband is a pOstman. - Fliegend'
Blatter
The Wise Proprietor Guest iii
cheap restaurant-"IIe waiter. thi
meal is simply vile. | won't pay for il
Where's the proprietorY' Waiter
Hes out at lunch, sir. "-Philadelphi
Record.
Kate-"He seems extremely devoted
He talks of going to the Klondike 70
my sake" Beatrice-"WeH. that woul
. give you two chances. He might com
back with a fortune or he might nc
come back at all. Puck.
, Cruel.-Naomi- Hes IA mean. nsul
ing thing" Stella-"WhyT" Naomi
Il told him l didn't know whether I
r go to the opera or the play, and he sal
{ was old enough to choose for myself
{ Philadelphia American.
Mr.. Wiggles-"The true facts of til
b. case were that" Mrs. Wiggles in
z terrupting)- Joshua. did you eve
: know any facts that weren't true
And she never heard the rest of tn;