The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1898-02-27
REED IN A BARBER CHAIR.
Man from Maine Rules Out Tonsorial
Talk.
WASHINGTON Post.


The Hon. II. Reed, speaker, reclined in a
hotel barber shop chair the other afternoon
looking like an aproned Buddha far plunged
in contemplation of the limitations of the
from his penetrating little eyes. He seemed
to reck not that the burly selfish world was
amove. He gazed with a continuous TO-
cussed. gaze upon the knob of the barber
shop door-whether attempting to hypno-
tie himself or to hypnotic the knob, who
knows ?-and he spake no word to the grin
ming black barber with teeth like peeled
zephyr touch through the colorless wisp of
hair that family frlnges the arterpart of
the great mans skull. The Discrimination
of the Hon. t. Reed to be discursive was
things He attempted to draw the great
man out, perhaps in order to bequeath
legacy of epigrams to posterity. The great
man only gruntel monosyllabic replies and
resumed his reverie. Then the barber de-
cided to switch the conversation to the
'Yo' haiuh suit My thinnin' out heap,
sub" said he.
linn" said Mr.. Reed.
''Teonchy bit o. tonic do it whole lot O.
good, suh."
"Um-m; no.
Bin bald on de top O. yo' head long,
Mr. Reed did not remove his gaze from
the door knob as he drawled:
II came into the world that way, Then
/ had an interval of comparative hirSute
luxuriance, but it was not enduring. i have
long since emerged from the grief Of the
Q6pIlNdLlOIi. IL ITO tOISGT dlillClS 1lCs DO
not permit II to weigh upon you"
The black barber studied over this for
a while apparently without fully appre-
hending it's meaning, however
''Yo' haiuh'd look some bettuh, sub, eff
yo' KEEP it long i'll de back. Lake" he said
after few moments or silence.
The Hon. I. Reed removed his gaze from
the door knob fastened it upon the ceiling,
cleared his throat and spoke again.
Let mo assure you, my tonsorial friend"
said he, that the appearance of my hair
as have been accustomed to wearing IL 10
eminently satisfactory to myself, and, per-
hapS / might also say to my constituents.
What little hair still adorns my head, I
well. l have been on familiar terms with II
for many years. / have inadvertently min
gled spruce gum and chewing tar with IL in
my years of extreme youth, and have often
sun-dried it in order TO present a pro2er
not-guilty appearance at home after sur
rertitious swimming expeditions, 1 have
had it pulled the wrong way by boyN whom
/ only learned to thrash afterwafd. AT the
same period of my life j even endured the
ignominy of having 1t cut-in ascending
consequence Of all this is trat that bit OF
remaining hair and ] are old and, | trust,
inseparable friends. l indulge the hair, and
the hair INDUCES me. The hair indulges me
conception of the way it ought to be worn.
and | indulge the hair by firmly declining
to have it trif1ed with by gentlemen of the
scissors who possess artistic ideas mora
bizarre than my, own. | fear Ill nave TO
ask you to indulge us both--the hair and
me. Cut 1t the way directed you TO cut It, :
The black barber looked dazed. When
the great man had numbered out OF the
shop, rolling like a man-o'-war bosun ;
mate on a three-day liberty ashore, the
barber mumbled:
"Speakuh All should say he all Is a
speakuh!"