The herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1893-1900, 1898-08-21

ways causes more or less trouUle' L ho
desk Is always a trifle too wide to go
through any of the doors You find this out
by a system of measurements. The door
lacks just a quarter Of an inch of being
as wide as the length of the broomstick
and the length Of your thumb, while the
desk is exactly the width of the broomstick
and two thumbs, lacking trifie. Ha! why
not lay it down on its side and carry it
through that way? Just the thing. sure
enough. And ten minutes later you have
1t stuck fast in the doorway, and you have
barked your shins, torn your shirt sleeve
and lost off three suspender buttons. and
you can't bulge the thing either way.
You'd give fifty cents II it was back where
1t was before. 1t is at this interesting
stage of the proceedings that your wife ap-
pears, with towel tied around her head
and asks in the gentlest, kindliest way why
in the world you didn't measure the desk
and find out if it would go through before
you took all that trouble.
The time has now arrived for you to show
little spirit. You will never have better
opportunity the rest of your life. Ask your
wife, gently but firmly. if she had not better
attend to her part of 1t and let you attend
thing exactly where you wanted it.
Now it will occur to you that the pesky
thing will go through all right BY taking
the door off its hinges. After pleasant
search of half an hour you find the screw
driver and begin the operation. The screws
come out with surprising ease-all except
the last one. You can't bulge that one.
Blast the thing what's the matter with 1t ?
The more you turn 1t the harder 1t sticks
Your wife appears again. Aren't you
turning it the wrong way?" she suggests
You cast a whitening glance at her. and
IL that don't subdue her, say that you were
a pretty good carpenter before She was
out of short dresses. She'll persist, how
ever, and just to convince her you will try
It the other way-and have It out in about
three turns. Then you can say that the
fool carpenter who put left-handed
screw in a door hinge ought to be in jail.
That will be new to her-she has probably
never heard of a left-handed screw be-
fore-and maybe she will believe 1t. She'll
get to thinking, though. ten chances to one,
and in little while she'll want to know
why you didn't pull out the pins instead
of unscrewing the hinges. You'll have to
say something pretty severe now.
There is great deal Of taste necessary
in hanging pictures, find. Some pictures
match the woodwork and some the wall
paper and others the curtains and still
others the furniture. There doesn't seem
to be any set ruld to go by; you just have
to keep on hanging them up and taking
them down and hanging them up again
until you lose your patience. and then go
out and sit on the back porch until your
wife gets them up to suit her.
Laying down carpets is Comparatively
easy. You start in one corner and tack
down two edges and then you go over to
the opposite side and pull and tug and
strain until 1t seems like you would wind
your spinal column around your collar bone.
Then you tack that edge down and go over
and pull up the tacks on the edge where
you began, SO as to get out the punches.
Then you stretch 1t the other way and
succeed in getting the hummooks further
up in the corner, anyway. BY skuffing the
loose places up In the other corner and
putting the sofa over the place It don't
show and you let 1t 90 at that
Still. moving II not at all easy andpleas-
ant. by any means. Il u not always neoso-
sarily fatal but u y wearing en the