The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1898-08-18
ford to trim its clothes with embroidery.
-Arkansaw Thomas Cat.

-ArKanSaW Thomas Cat.
During discussion at a meeting of
the Trinity College Historical Society
upon the slight consideration attached
to life by unciviized nations, a speaker
mentioned the extraordinary circum-
stance that in China if a man were
condemned to death he could easily
hire substitute to die for him. And,
the debater went on, believe many
poor fellows get their living by acting
as substitutes in that way!-The
Pioneer
A drug clerk in Boston has medi-
cine which deprives cat of it's voice
without injury to the cat. Seven big
Toms were given dose of medicine
and sat on fence for seven hours
making faces but not uttering a sound.
When that medicine comes into gen.
eral use the bootjack will be laid away
and old shoes will accumulate as they
never have before.-St. Louis Humor-
list.
If Germany don't keep her fingers
out of our pie we will stir her kraut
barrel until all Europe has to hold it's
nose. This is from Dewey and is Off.
cial.-Orange (Va.) Observer.
The man who boasts that he works
with his head instead of his hands is
respectfully reminded that the wood
pecker does the same thing and is the
biggest kind of bore.-Elysian En-
terprise.
The policemen of Philadelphia are to
be equipped with white collars made
of rubber for summer wear. They will
probably be called the official rubber.
necks.-Spring Valley Sun.
In order to judge man correctly
you should mentally surround yourself
with the same environments that sur
round him; the prince cannot sympa-
thize with the pauper, nor the pauper
with the prince.-Jackson Co., Pilot.
An exchange says there are no snakes
in Porto Rico. AS several cargoes of
Kentucky whisky are enroute it won't
be long till snakes are introduced
Canon Falls Beacon.
An Irishman who had jumped into
the water to save man from drown
ing, on receiving sixpence from the
rescued man, looked first at the six
pence and then at the donor, saying:
"Be jabbers, l am overpaid for that
| job."-Tyler Journal.
A man be never so lazy, he can gen.
orally get up enough energy to stick his
nose in other peoples affairs.-Wat
vile Gazette.
In the summer It's all baseball and
in the winter base burner, and you
can't run either of 'em without dia-
monds, so every season seems alike to
me.-Bede's Budget.
The girl who never screams when
she sees mouse isn't a safe girl to
marry. With her calm, cool, collected,
unexcitable disposition, she would hit
where she aimed with the rolling pin
every time.-St. Louis Humorist.
| The man who grew white haired in
an hour through grief over the death
of his wife five years ago, grew black
again in less than fifteen minutes last
night. He dyed his hair preparatory
to renewing his interest in love affairs.
Arkansas Thomas Cat.
We hear a good deal about birch
bark canoes but we should think the
dogwood furnish the best bark.
A rich mans will is something like a
shower. 1t settles the "dust."-L. A.
w. Bulletin.
There is one beauty about the Amer
lean jury system-if the jurors don't
hang the criminals they usually hang
themselves, and that is pretty near as
good, only it isn't permanent enough
Orange (Va.) Observer.
An old fellow, who has been study
ing up things, says that according to
his observations, very many more peo-
pie die of head failure than of heart
failure, -Waterville Gazette.
If some men could only swap their
heads for foot balls they would find
themselves more on the representa-
tive" order of Window Citi-
zen.
A plain, unidentified stranger has
buncoed Senator Platt, of New York,
out of $4,000. That man is no longer