The Monmouth inquirer., 1898-03-17
KEEPING COMPANY
now the .widder' Caught Joe Though
His Parents Were Opposed.

tFc,y TIE .svidder'' Caught Joe Though
His Parents Were Opposed.
since so many persons are writing
nm such lots of love stories, true ana
Otherwise. we will just try our hand
at that business. III,
Now ours, if not very romatlc
storv happens to be true one, %
affair in which we were not one Oh the
nrincinal actors. but a sort of a third
member in the transaction-a party
Of the third part, as a legal instrument
might read. Now here is our story
AWAY back in the'60s, during our
ragabond days, while in North Central
indiana. in the employment Of Ro-
chester nursery firm. and canvassing
tbat norton Of the State, we made our
home for a while at the mouse Oh
s farmer, and aged widower
The farmer had as housekeeper a
widow somewhere between thlrty anu
forty years of age named patterson, pu'
called for short, by every one III tnae
settlement, the Widder Pat one
came from somewhere down IN tne
southwestern corner of the Hoosler
State on the lower Wabash, and was
person of a very pleasant dlsposltloh'
but one of the homeliest women tnat
we ever saw. In fact, we then thought
that a person could not possibly nave
been created much plainer-looklng
than she.
Well. as the old saying goes, Every
Tack has JILL consequently the re-
verse must also be true; and in TINS
case the widder's Jack was chap not
overbright, Joe Hibbard by name, and
some twenty-five years Of age, q sort
Of subsection boss on the p. TT. w.
and c. r. r., which ran about halt a
mile from the house where we were
stopping
Now Joe's parents were dead set
against his keeping the widder's COM
pany. and bitterly opposed to his ever
marrying her, consequently they dad
all they could to break up the wooing,
and had succeeded at the time when
we first came there thus giving the
woman oceans of trouble.
But when a>lone widder just makes
up her mind
To be welded again, and she really
does try
To catch some poor devil, he surely
will find
That she's like the spider and he's
like the fly.
One day she came to us. and tear
fully and confidentially stated her love
affairs and botherations, and diffident-
ly asked us if we would kindly help
her out in the matter by just acting
as her escort and company for little
while-long enough TO create jealous
feelings in her fellows mind; and per-
haps that might fetch him back to her
loving, if not lovely presence About
those days we were ready for anything
for a novelty, anything for fun and ex-
citement, so we, taking pity on her
forlorn condition, accepted her propos-
al, and from that time we were her
"stiddy comp'ny" taking her to serv-
ice at the little tumble-down Methodist
church on Sundays, and also to several
backwoods social evening gatherings;
but whether Joe ever became jealous
or not we never heard, as he never
showed up at the house nor in places
where his dulcinea aud we were to-
gether.
The affair went on in this way for
some time. until it got noised around
as a fact in the whole settlement so
it came to our hearing-that that
young tree peddler from Illinoy is a.
goin' to hitch onto the Widder Pat.
(By the way. we were then citizen
of the Sucker State, having voted for
Dick Oglesby for governor, and per-
formed other services, either beneficial
or otherwise for that commonwealth
Thunderationi the very idea of our
ever being hubby to the homeliest wo1
man in the whole State of Indiana, and
she nearly old enough to be our own
mother to boot We had "orful pheel-
inks" whenever we thought about it,.
Now. could it possibly be that that
:'desiging female" was playing deep,
double game all this time--keeping one
of those lovely wall-eyes on us with
marriage purpose intent while pretenq-
ing to be looking after Joe with the
other? If so, we had better be getting
out of that scrape as soon as possible.
Well, things still went on as usual,
and while folks keep talking away we
did some tall thinking, till one even
ing. shortly after, when on coming
home whom should we see on the set
tee by the fireplace but Joe and the
widder, his arm around her waist, and
her face wreather in smiles. Hurrah:
we could just then have yelled like a
wild Injun, and jumped up high en-
ough to have hit the ceiling-if there
had been any and cracked our heels
together for joy. But we didn't; we
Just treated him coolly as we could
during the rest of the evening, and
acted as snappish as possible, SO as to
make him think he had cut us out in
the widder's affections, and had made
a big bargain of it, but all the time
we were in fear lest the cuss would
clear out and leave her again, and She
should try her most ersuasive ways to
induce us to repeat the farce. But
next morning our fears soon vanished
when we knew by her smiling phiz
that she had fairly hooked the gudge-
on, and that same evening she had him
neatly landed. they having been mar
ried then at friends house by an
itinerant preacher. i'll spite of the OPP
position Of Pater and Mater Hibbard.
The loving couple had no cards no
cake no nothing. but just a wedding,
and that was all.
And we? Well, we didn't weep
( ,,,,.o l., I,r,t ,1rncaptaI Tho han,,v IA,.ida