The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1898-08-11
yforyef{es.

court house abutted on the green. A
fair was in progress and just outside
the court a number of asses were teth-
cred. AS counsel was addressing the
court one of these began to bray.
Instantly the chief baron stopped the
speaker. "Wait a moment, Mr.. Busche,"
he said. 81 can't hear two at once"
The court roared and the advocate
grew red. But presently, when it came
TO summing up, the judge was in full
swing when another ass struck in,
whether by the counsePs cOntrivance or
not, who shall say? Anyhow, up
jumped Mr.. Busche, with his hand to
his ear, and said:
"Would your lordship speak little
louder? There's such an echo in the
court Cornhill.
The telephone bell in the office rang
at great length and with evident vehe-
mence. The clerks happened to be out,
playing marbles, or something of that
sort, so the little old black man had to
answer the insistent instrument. He
proceeded timidly, as if not certain that
the affair was not altogether safe.
1t seemed that the person calling was
asking if his umbrella was there. At
any rate, the little black man said:
81 dunno, sab, but will see if kin
fine hit, subj"
He rummaged around and found a
dilapidated affair that had seen many
ups and downs and holding that up by
the annunciator he yelled over the wire:
els dis hit, subj"
O7kO
At one period during the rebellion
there were no less than "a Major Cen
erals and 276 Brigadiers on the rolls,
which was far more than there was any
use for. President Lincoln recognized
this mistake before any one else, put
he consoled himself by joking about it.
1t is recalled that on one occasion, when
one of these superfiuOus Generals was
captured by the enemy, with a number
of men and horses, somebody under
took to condole with the President on
the subject, remarking that the loss Of
the captured Generals service was
great misfortune to the government.
"POOh"' replied Lincoln, "Its the
horses Pm thinking about l can
make another Brigadier General in two
minutes, but horses are scarce and cost
5000 apiece"
Judge Ermston tells good story
about man he was questioning as to
his being good to go on 5000 bond.
what property have you to the |
amount of S600?" asked the Judge
Il have $500 in a building associa.
Gion,' replied the witness.
'Well. and what more:"
Il have stock in trade to the amount |
of $780,
GO on"
II have household furniture worth
$500"
"Well, we still want $40"
81 have your note, judge, for that
amount, which you gave me seven
years ago at College Corner
Tableau!- Cincinnati Enquirer.
That quick wit is not confined to
CITIES was proved one day by a young
woman who was rambling alone on
one of the Long Island roads. She was
dressed smartly, she thought, and when
she met a small, bare legged urchin
carrying birds nest with eggs in it
she did not hesitate to stop him.
''You are wicked boy" she said.
"How could you rob that nest? No
doubt the mother is now grieving for
the loss of her eggs"
"Oh, she don't care" replied the
urchin edging away, "she's up in your
hat"
A country merchant from Western
rural district visited the city to purchase
goods. His proper punishment for a
shabby trick is recorded by an exchange
He bought cheap but pretty table
castor for which he paid dollar. On
reaching home he put on it tag mark
ed Sl4 and made present of it to a
Methodist preacher, whose church his
family attended. The minister took
the package home, after thanking the
donor; but the next day he fetched the
castor, with the tag attached, back to
the merchant, and said to him.
II am too poor in this world goods
to display so valuable castor on my
table, and if you have no objection l
should like to return it and take S14