The evening times., 1898-11-10
SaIisbury's HaIIucinations.

saIisbury's HuIIucinations.
The English lack of sense of humor
is keenly felt at this time. An Ameri-
can premier who should make such gen.
eral and thorough preparations for war
and should speak so enigmatically,
while the most foresighted of states
men and journalists should be wholly
unable to discover a single reason for
it all, would be ridiculed into frank
declaration of his purposes or compelled
to rest under the imputation of sudden
insanity. OF course, it is not concelV-
able that President Mckinley should
ever put the army and navy on a war
footing except under the severest pres
sure from the people; but we may fancy
another President following the course
Of Lord Salisbury-holding his tongue,
or rather. concealing the cause of his
fears, while limiting at grave menace
of war and taking every step to meet
it Congress would refuse TO make ap-
propriations. members of the Cabinet
would retire because Of his refusal to
trust them with the secret, and the
press Of both parties would laugh him
into an abandonment Of his policy.
Last night again. at the Lord May
or's banquet. the Marquis of Salisbury
repeated most of his vague, but dis
quieting hints. going even further than
before in asserting the gravity of the
situation. He admitted that the coun-
try had come happily out of the dis
pute with France and denied the only
possible explanation Of his activity
an intention to proclaim protectorate
over Egypt except in circumstances
which he did not think could arise.
Evidently he was profoundly depressed
and he astonished his hearers by init
mating that Americas acquisition of
the Philippines made this an unfortu
nate time for the Car TO project his
scheme OF general disarmament. On
the whole. he was as enigmatical and
about as reasonable as Cap'n Cutie,
and as depressed as a New York Demo-
crat who bet his money on Van Wyck.
Yet the newspapers and the public take
his apparent nonsense seriously and
are more alarmed and melancholy to-
D
day than yesterday. 1t is a weakness
Of the Briton that he looks upon his
Dugberry as the embodiment of the
wisdom that should belong 10 his office
He fOrgets the ease with which the
Russian tricked this same premier in
China, and studies every doleful SEN
tence Of the address in vain hope Of
finding the source of the alleged men
ace to the peace, if not the very exist
nee of the British empire. If Salisbury's
record were that of the most foresight
ed statesman and diplomat of all time,
he could not impress his countrymen
more profoundly than he does.
a sense of humor is sorely needed in
England now The national jester,
Punch. is silent at this propitious hour
on the subject of an administration
bugabOo. The thing is manifestly alb
surd. There are scores of able and eX-
perienced Englishmen who would know
il if anywhere in the world a dagger
had been sharpened for the British
back. But for their habit of taking
their officials seriously, they would
long ago have concluded that Salisbury
was under the malign influence of an
Occluded liver, which creates illusory
appearances as surely as an excess of
drink An old-fashioned purgative,
with a sufficient proportion of calomel.
would make these imaginary dangers
vanish. and instead of the doleful
dumps, England would be jolly over the
retreat of France, about which there
was never any doubt except in the
jaundiced vision of the premier. His
comments on the possible consequences
Of the American acquisition Of the Phil
ippines deserve no more attention than
| his grave fears of an assault on the
| British Empire from some unknown
source 1t is an effect of the same
cause. AS we laugh at our own alarm
lists, we are not likely to be frightened
| by the suggestions of man with the
blues across the sea. We are not a
reckless people, by any means, and
| would get out of the way of trouble if
it could be done without loss of dig
nifty. but we think for ourselves. This
| has its disadvantages, perhaps, but
| having the saving sense of humor we
escape the Nightmares that disturb the
rest of our solemn cousins of England