The copper country evening news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 18??-1907, 1898-07-16
A HARD MAN TO BEAT
THE LIVE RAILROAD AGENT is UP TO
ALL SORTS OF TRICKS.


Hustiing RaiIroader.
"There are people who think you
can't beat circus man, but / want to
tell you that the hardest man to do is
live railroad man."
The old sawdust manager had tried
it. He continued
"Know where Purcell is in the In
dian Territory? Away down at the
jumping off place on the Santa Fe road.
The show had been at Purcell and we
wanted to get out in the night for
long run. We were going to make
jump to Kansas City. Not far from
Purcell is anothG town, Oklahoma
City. At that point competing road
with the Santa Fe runs in. We had 500
people, and of course the railroad men
were after us. 1t was big haul. Some
Of our people bought through tickets
from Purcell, and they didn't worry.
But about 200, maybe more, of the
crowd that always haggles over 10
cent dicker concluded to take the Santa
Fe from Purcell to Oklahoma City, pay
the short haul, and then take the COM
peting line at Oklahoma, the agents of
which were active AND full of promises.
"Then the Santa Fe man fixed it SO
the dickerers couldn't buy any tickets
from Purcell to Oklahoma, for the train
we were to go on was special. The
dickerers said that was all right; that
they would wait for the regular In
less than five minutes bulletin was
slapped on the board of the station to
the effect that the regular Santa Fe was
~ hours late. That made the fellows
who were dickering for cheaper rate
turn white around their gills.
"In another five minutes saw man
on track velocipede scudding down the
stretch. Every man to his business. So
l thought the railroad people knew
what they were doing, and they did.
That chap on the velocipede was going
down the track to flag the regular and
hold it indefinitely. Smart trick, wasn't
itf Wait till l tell you. There was
smarter trick than that.
"When the special got ready to pull
out, the dickerers asked the agent If
they could pay on the train from Pur-
cell to Oklahoma, and he said Cert. ,
So they all boarded the train at Pur-
cell, intending to get off at Oklahoma
Just before the train pulled out the
agent walks down to the engine and
asks the old man at the throttle how
long he had been on the road and about
the capacity of his iron horse, and SO
forth.
"How many miles an hour can she
go at her besv? asked the agent.
"On a good track, So miles.
"'Is it good track through Oklahc-
ma City?'
"'yes, pretty good.
"All right. You've got no orders tc
stop there nor to slow up. have you!
"'Not yet
"Well, when you get to the edge o.
the town you let her go. Don't stop fol
anything-fags or teams or cattle
Scoot through the town at 65 mile
gait, or more if you like, and dom
slow up until you strike that strip o.
desolation about miles t'other side
and you smoke box Of the finest cigars
in Chicago Is it go?'
eff l don't get no orders fore
start.
"Well, you are five minutes lat
now.
"In o minute, and calculate it wa
less, the circus special was under way
It went around curves like q scare,
snake. 1t shot across straight lines lik
gazelle that had been singed. !
whirled the dust of that country int
the sky. After awhile we saw town
Then we went through it like the WON
an that's shot from the catapult, onl
more So One of the dickerers, who wa
smiling to think the conductor had nc
yet come round, asked brakeman a
the train was going through the street
What town is this?' The brakema
said, Oklahoma City,
1.-THE dickerer's smile faded as
came, as the poet says, and his hal
stood up, and turning to the brakema
he says:
'Jezecriminil Stop her! Here
where we get OFF,
"'She doesn't even hesitate at tow
, like this, said the brakeman.
"Well, about IL miles on this side
in q strip of country where crow can
live and where ar Indian wouldn't
caught dead, the old iron horse began
! slow up. The conductor came throug
, just then and said:
"'Tickets!'
! "Well, say, that was funny sigh
!, Them that had tickets showed up an
, then went to sleep. But the dickereI
began to kick They said they shout
. have been let off at Oklahoma Cit.
. The conductor said the train didn't ste
q at Oklahoma, that it wasn't schedule
> to stop there, and that he wasn't goir
= to go back that trip. The leader of Il
dickerers icr cheap fares wanted
|, know whae was to be done.
"The> conductor was an old timer. +
= had face on him like woman wi
!. never loved anybody. He just to-
4 them, Pay or get off. Then they askt
9 him where they could pay to. And
- .o;l xha ero,,, xr,o,ldp,f sion INV .no