The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-12-08
MEDITATI0NS OF MR.. DoOLEY.
He Discusses Territorial Expansion
With Friend Hennessy.
Chicago Joural)

(CmcaSO JOural.)
well" said Mr.. Dooley, We've got
EN-"
"Again?' said Mr.. Hennessy, with
faint attempt at a joke.
Never mind, - said Mr.. Dooley,
We've got tn Philippians. TIL Span
yards Withdrew to tn anti-room an
says wan: Let's get through Says
another: I say so. too If ct another
dinner I'd bust. What do they want?'
TIL Ph'lippeens. viii they take
thim?' We'll, thry an see An they
come out, an says the chairman, Sen
yor Monte Rice, he says: oh, crool an
avaricious foe,' he says, 'wretched vam-
pires, he says, that wud suck tn las
dhrop iv blood firm tn fallen form Nv
poor Spain,' he says. We have no other
recoorse, he says. We must surrinder
to We, he says, TIL brightest flower in
tn diadem iv lovely but busted Hispy-
nolio, he says, TIL Peril iv the Passific
IS yours, he says. Take it. he says,
'anless, he says, fye're such monsthers
iv croolty that yed rayfuse,' he says.
An we've got tn Philippians. Hinnissy
we've got thin tn way Casey got the
bulldog-be tn teeth.
'What're we goin' to do with thin,
says We? That shows. Hinnissy, ye're
a mugwump. A mugwump's a man
]
to happen mex an hopes it won't.
what dye think We're goin' to do with
thin? Stirring thin an wear thin FIR
| beads? Hinnissy, if all tn people in
this country was like tn likes iv We,
! they'd be on'y enough iv ye to hold a
rayform meetin' an ye'd be Twin in a
balloon off tn coast iv Maine, ye-ye
dam'd Pilgrim father, YET"
81 have a cousin that lives in Lynn, -
said Mr.. Hennessy.
What difference does it make to you
an me what we do with tn Philippians,
anyhow" Mr.. Dooiey went on, not
needed the interruption. I'm here
an tn Philippians are there, an there's
too much wather between us to make
frinds But I know What'll happen.
Twill be what has happened in this
very town nanny a time. They'se a
sthretch iv prairie just outside tn city
limits an nobody iv our kind wants to
live there because it's too quiet. But
bimeby some people moves in frim Ohio
an builds a house or two an tn al
dhernlan frim this ward moves FIR to
annix it to tn city. An ivry OF lady
says: Haven't we growed enough?
! What's tn use iv takin' in more terri
tory? Isn't our governmint bad enough
as it is? An thin tn good Irish people
moves in an conquers the savidge in
y
prairie is blossoming like a rose garden
an has become a dimmycratic sthrong-
hold. That's expansion.
TIL throuble with you, Hinnissy, is
We think you an Congressman Noonar
can set down in tn back room with 9
piece of chalk an an OF slate an figure
out what's goin' to happen, but We
can't. Ye can't figure it about ye'ersilf
an how can We figure it about tn
| Ph'1innQnnC n A
Hogan an Mckinley both says: 'Th
nation'ssin tn hands iv tn Lord, anil
give him what assistance it can spare
firm its other jooties.' TIL first thing
to be done is to appint a sthrone
ar-army iv officials that we can't fine
anything FIR in this country. TIL
comityman tol' me yesterdah that they
was 800 applications fir tn bridge whir
Dorsey, that was there befure, passed
oyer to tn other shure an got tn jot
in the planin' mill. An We think they'st
no wan fit to conthrol population iN
naygurs. | tell We amy man that.
sthrong enough to even think he car
get a job tur-rnin' a bridge in thi:
country has force enough to be kins
iv tn Ph'lippeens in wan year! I'll.
so. Well, some iv these la-ads II b,
kilt an some'll come home an thin wal
day a la-ad that's been bumped agail
in tn sthreet cal. II sthretch himsil
an say: Glory be, but this is a small
country afther ALL an he'll sail away
an he won't have amy job to eat of
an he'll have to make livin' be lickin
tn poor, benighted haythens that view
fot to lift up, an others like him i
go along afther him an whin tn Dim
mycratic con-vintion meets Aguinald
O'Brien an Perforated Don Carlos Cas-
sidy II be contistin' which IL cast tn
UOta iU th' irnner-ya1 state iU Pb'1iD
poems FIR William J. Bryan, tn boy ora
tor iv tn Plate.
That's what'lT happen, Hinnissy
'Tis not tn la-ads tn governmint i
sind out, but tn la-ads that go out OF
their own hook, an have to fight t
eat. Be hivins, Hinnissy, they'll b
great doin's down there whin wan i
thin opprissed an tortured people tina
FIR hundreds iy, years have been I'm
dher tn ir'n heel iv tn tyrant gets ga;
with a la-ad that's run a Bohemyal