davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Dickinson press., 1898-12-31

Commissioner Geo. Lee of Gladstone
came in from Brainerd on Tuesday and
stated that Mrs. Lee was doing finely and
would probably return within two or three
weeks. Mrs. McCloy had not been
operated on at the time Mr.. Lee came
away.
The Dickinson press., 1898-12-31

The case of A. L. Martin VS.. James
Stowe and wife was tried in Billings
county a few days ago. The defendants,
who were represented by ]. H. Fields,
demanded a jury. The action was brought
to secure the payment of a store bill and
the jury returned a verdict for plaintiff.
l.. A. Simpson was the plaintiff attorney.
The Dickinson press., 1898-12-31

Andrew Lehman closed up his bust
ness matters in Dickinson last week and
left Saturday night for Minneapolis,
where he has a good position awaiting
him. Mr.. Lehman had been a resident
of Dickinson a number of years and the
PRESS hopes that he will be prospered
in his new field of work.
The Dickinson press., 1898-12-31

Prot. Clemmer is making a new cata-
logue of the school library which he
hopes will soon be published and make
the library more available both for pu-
pills and citizens.
The Worcester spy., 1898-10-28
NEW YORK. NEW HAVEN AND
HARTFORD RAILROAD.
eastern DistrictlN
Passenger trains leave worcester:
Commencing oct. 16. 1898.

1ro1s ppoI11prDrc,t- , an AZ al n -
m l240 ~ 4 >. A. y s6 g. i s25 g55 p m;
Keturn-o' % 70 30, %. 500 II 20 q. M
q 99g "a so - o. o-90 ID S20 p n Snnqays9 x
'7o l99g " 4 X NJ q ~ ~ P m 11etuli'00 .
FOR M4plLLB5q5RYM v 4 y a ss o S49 lO,Ss a;
M; l249, "a, ~; '6VS, b.z5, p 800 p
~; 20 Beturne25 y d5 "a a la2 80 es s,,ad a;
1.y9 z99 o.VS o.VJ t,vS lV.of p ~. SunddyA da
m, M. 5.gg; Z os p M n "A ~
tgh WdlIINss-e' i. ~ ~ So,1D IV'e1 a. n
turn--5.ss, $50. 4 1N.44 q m: 124i. ~.
1880 a. m; 44o p m. Return-S.44 a. M;
FOR IlXBRIDGEh6- q 69 AZ Z. al S.4o, IV.Sf a:
n l240 2,al, eg 's;VS q 9zS' a. 70, s2o p. II
l2,4o, ~ ~. 70 Az, 6'4o' ~ . p n. sun
0ays-i.4V, IV'oV = M tau p M tsslu4ll-
e.4O q; m 4;sg 1.4V poc i1-,7 .o ,os7
FOR vi Il !. az ~ s'4g' IVSf a.
m. lz4y, ~ -4y 40 -ze. 70 90 s:oo p q. R5- ~
ftetarn15.fs &, o4o, oioz, lO.os T. ILL., I-,9S'
- ~ o.Sz o'oz' ly,lo p. n' t,.l Sulua %
40 V.ou oa e. Ia a. f'so p H. tsSturn-o'oA
e :, ms i;r 81 SS2 p m a 10 =
a M; 124S s4I ~ a. rs io y q, so ?; p ~ m
The Worcester spy., 1898-10-28
KINNICUTT 6 DEWITT,
BANKERS,
$50 Main St, Worcester, Mass.
For November Investment
Subject to Previous Sale.

% shares Wasburn & Moen Mfg.
Co. stock.
II. shares Ist National Bank stock.
% shares Worcester Electric Light
Cos stock.
4 shares Worcester Safe Deposit
and Trust Co. stock.
70 Worcester Traction Pfd. stock.
go Worcester Traction Com. stock.
so shares Norwich and Worcester
Rd.sCo. stock.
so United States Envelope Co. stock
Pfd.
o. United States Envelope stock
Com.
200 Shares Mckay Shoe Mach. Co.
stock.
IS American Card Clothing Co.
stock.
so Shares Fitchburg Rd. Co. Pfd.
stock.
$4,000 United States Envelope
Bonds.
The Worcester spy., 1898-10-28
claIrvOyants and Massage.

MRS. JULIA A. SPAUI.DING, clairvoy-
ant business. test and prophetic medi-
In, is at SIS Main ST.. where she Will be-
pleased to greet both patrons and
friends. Examination and massage N.H
each. Room 4 one tiiEht
The Worcester spy., 1898-10-28
RAILROADS.
BOSTON AND MAINE RAILROAD,
(Worcester. Nashua and Portland
DlyisiousJ

For Montea1 ana ali points north; Port
land, Bangor and oil points east.
On and after October 3D. 1898, passenger
trans Will leave Worcester ae follows:
FOR STERLING JUNCTION - 6,43 9.l0,
FOR 6AKDALELe.is' SOL 9.i6. His. i, ii p. %
LBS a. m; 2.25, l5s, 62b p. m.
FOR CLTNTON-6.4 AZ. 8 .0i, ills 11.S5 =. m; /;
FOR LANCASTER e .4S. lbs a. m; 2.25.
FOR NAsHUA-6,42. S.ol, His express;
train stops only. az Qakdale. Clinton,
4.5S, 6.2o p m. sundays-6.45 a. M; i.i5
FOR RocHEsTER-s.oi q. m: ,.25 p. m.
fOk P0RTLAND-S. a. m: 2.25 p. m.
FOR -KENNEBU-5NK. BIppEFoRD AND
Old QRCHARDz-2. % = m;
FS9R6, ALTON PAY AND WoLFBoRo-
EoR NORTH coNWAY-s.a n a. m.
FOR F1TCHBURG - Cvia Sterling juno
dSy12CTass dd92yas cIafo55-5& llao g. & 5 SS P q = Sun m,
FOR I.OWELIr-e.4S. ii IS a. NJ; Ass i.
m. Sundays-6.45 a NJ.
FOR LAWRENCE-6.4S 1l.S5 a. m; 4.5s
FOR MANCHESTER AND CONCORD
$'G. Il 10, 10; y ;s5 M; 2.2s, ASS 6.25
MoNTREAE9(cH' L. H- v iine}sS6o S6N O. Il e ia a.
FOR sT JoFTNsBUIfR'Yf. NEWPORT AND
q. M. s26 D. N sundaysA4.45 Hi5.eI p. m ~
FOR BosToN-Cvia Aver Juneaon)1s.4s 4s,
So I.3g a. M; 25' 45S D. IN. Sun
FOR BosToN@via Central Mass. R. R.)-
s'G, $40 a. m; 3.lO p. m. Sundays
FOR WARE AND NoRTHAMPToN-slo
D. j. FLANDERS. Gen. Pas. Agt
c. A. WAITE. DIV Pas. Agent.
The Worcester spy., 1898-10-28

lInfOugh the Great HOosar Iunnel.)
The scenic route of New Encl9nd T.Is
shortest route, Offering best sesv;ca ap1
quickest time.
To Chicago in III days
To Denver in 2k days
To California in days.
through sleeping cars to Buffalo, Cieve-
land, Fort Wayne, Detroit, Chicago and
only line running through Pullman
s9eepers to Chicago via BinghamJon and
Tnexcelied service to Montreal and Que
bee. Parlor and sleeping ears on through
trains. Day coach 10 Montreal without
Trains leave Worcester week davs:
FOR TROY, BUFFALO. CHICAGO and
the west at $40 a. m; 3.45 p. IA. 7.55 p.
m, Sundays at Las p. IT.
FOR WINCHENDON ard intermediate
stations, week days at $40 a. m, Il IS
2. m, S+5 p. m, 6.2S p. m, I.55 p. m.
Sundays at 3.45 p. m.
$40 a. m. connects week DAYS at Gardner
with accommodation trains for all sta
$40 a m. Ii IS a. M; 345 D. M. 7.55 p. m.
connects week days for Bellows Falls
Rutland and White River Junction.
olO a. M, II. 70 a. M; 7.55 .. M. week
DAYS, for Bellows Falls White River
junction, Rutland. Burlington, Rouses
Point, Montreal, Ottawa and Quebec
For time tables, rates, parlor and sleep
ing car space apply to
-; F. HEALY. City Ticket Agent, 8N6
Main ST. Worcester.
J. R. WATSON. Gen. Pes. Agt.
The Worcester spy., 1898-10-28

THE CHICAGO MARKET.
(Reported by Jas. S. Aborn, 40 Main st.)
The opening, highest, lowest and closing
quotations in Chicago, Oct 27, 1898;
The Worcester spy., 1898-10-28
For Sale Or RepaIr clothlng.

81 90 SUIT cleaned and pressed; S2.00 silk
velvet collar on coat. Upham & Paiula
tailors. 377 Main ST.. orp. Elm. one flight
Open evenings.
The Worcester spy., 1898-10-28
Horses. Carriages. etc.

DO NOT LOSE this one chance of the
year to buy heavy work horses that are
all ready for hard work. Come to our
The Worcester spy., 1898-10-28
To Let Flats and Houses.

Rates for one week or more under this
heading: 21z cents per line each insertion.
The Worcester spy., 1898-10-28
BICYCLES

BICYCLES = Secondhand. for sale on
easy terms, $40 10 $40; ladies' wheels
and cushion frame wheels at lowest
prices.
The Worcester spy., 1898-10-28

FOR RENT-Second floor in private resi-
dence, Shaffner St, Adams So, or 8
rooms, modern onveniences, steam heat
with stable if desired; also Groom lower
tenement. Sturgis ST., near Lincoln,
all conveniences. James Weeks. 256
Lincoln st. or Shaffner.
TO RENT-A tenement at 26S Pleasant ST.
with or s rooms, all modern improve
ments. Apply at 272 Pleasant or AZ
Waldo st.
TO RENT - Lower tenement of or I
rooms at 9S4 Main St. with or without
barn. Apply on premises or at 1853
Canterbury st.
with elevator, steam, hot
water, gas range. e. A. Mcclellan, 146
Main st.
The Worcester spy., 1898-10-28
Wanted Miscellaneous.

WILL PAY WELL for list of people in
Worcester and vicinity who have a
piano or are Interested in music. D.
Appleton & Co., Boston, Mass.
The Worcester spy., 1898-10-28

COTTAGE--A little dandy, rooms. mod
err, worth $1,000, and you can have il for
$500, on easy terms. We must do
you can make money being among the
first: I. l.. Currier. 707 State Mutual
building.
The Worcester spy., 1898-10-28
KINNICUTT & DEWITT.

MONEY TO LOAN on furniture, personal
property, collateral securities; rates IL
per cent per month for first-class loans.
worcester Collateral Loan Associat ton,
State Mutual building, room $685. Charles
E. Burnham. treasurer.
MONEY TO LOAN on stocks. bonds bank
booke, insurance policies, watches, dia-
rnonds, pianos, household furniture and
ali kinds OF good securities at reasona-
HE rates of interest. Our motto is,
sFair dealing with everybody WOR-
CEETTR LOAN CO.. Incorporated, for
merly flagg Brothers. No. S9S Main ST.,
cor. Pearl.
The Worcester spy., 1898-10-28

FOR SALE-Real estate OF every descrip-
ton situated in all parts of the city
Farrar and Gates. 51S Main ST.
The Worcester spy., 1898-10-28
6THE MONEY MARKEr

New York, Oct. 27. L Money on call
steady, 1AQ15 p. c.; last loan is4 Prime
mercantile paper, SA04h. Sterling ex-
change heavy at 4.s51l or for demand and
4;S2l4q1s for 60 days. Posted rates. 4.S3d
z and 4 .S6l204.S. Commercial bills 4 81
~. Silver certificates, 60hQ5l16 Bar
silver, 60A Mexican dollars, AK. Gov
ernment bonds weak.
The Worcester spy., 1898-10-28
AsTRoLocY.

reveal your prospects
in life, busipess, love and marriage, 20c. !;
horoscope. ST. Send birth date. sex.
Prof. Macarthur. B. lO2 Dandy. N. Y.
The Worcester spy., 1898-10-28

IN ORDER TO CLOSE the estate of the
late John Whitaker ] offer for sale. to a
desirable purchaser, the we'll known lot
of land on Cherry St. containing 666l
feet. Would be desirable for block
For particulars inquire of H. Il. Har-
ris, attt, State Mutual building
The Worcester spy., 1898-10-28
Lost and Found.

FOUND r. Pocketbook containing small
sum of money owner can have by
proving property and paying charges.
Call at Spy Office
FoUND-A gold watch, chain and charm.
Address Spy, w, 726.
The Worcester spy., 1898-10-28

~; total receipts this month, SS4, 443. sos;
total receipts this year si59. .S6l .462. total
expenditures this day $l,549, 600; total ex-
pendltures this month, $4S, ,926 900; total
expenditures this year, 1888 644, ia; de-
poslts In national banks &S, Se5,SO4
The Worcester spy., 1898-10-28
Help Wanted Female.

WANTED-Private cooks. Irish I'd girl,
kitchen girl, cook and I'd girl together,
table girl, competent general girls laun-
dress green girls. Mrs. Jones, 40 Main
ST., room IL.
The Worcester spy., 1898-10-28
Situations Wanted Female.

by bookkeeper and
expert accountant, 9 years experience,
thoroughly qualified and Trustworthy,
tory accounting with economy. All ref
erences from present employer. Address
Box l&, West Gardner, Mass.
The Worcester spy., 1898-10-28
chIropodist and Manicure.

ALL ILLS OF THE FEET scientifically
and carefully treated without pain; warts
removed; also manicure Miss A. "
Carberry, room Is, Burnside building
Main st. Evenings until 7.30.
The Worcester spy., 1898-10-28

CHOICE HOUSE LOTS-Newton square,
on Pleasant and Midland SITS. prices rea-
sonable, terms easy; desirable for build
er; also modern Broom cottage. Tee-
phone 6Sl-4. James Fl. Howland. so Day
building.
The Worcester spy., 1898-10-28
Situations Wanted - Male.

Rate Sc. per line for one time; for three
or more times. 21ac. per line each insertion.
The Worcester spy., 1898-10-28
BOSTON AND ALBANY RAILROAD.
Corrected to May -. 1887

PASSENGER TRAINS LEAVE woR-
500 SIS, ssa, 1900 2 10 7 s. a. M M .lo$ SS
1.25. 4 50. f22a, '250, S45 s43S. 6i4, s755
ssh, 1920 p. m. sundays-9S0l sos
1884 a. M; '1.50 200, 5.ss5, s7.55. 's75
RETURNING LEAVE BOSTON i 500
100 $3.50. $500. 915 1880 HOO a. m. I;
sl2 % noon l.62, y 90 2.i5, $500 e4.o0, 4.S0
go, 500 1850 a.95 III 90 p. m Sun
days-S.25. 1000 a. m. 1920. .. co. sl0Q
500 $50. "11.00 D. M
FOR MILr4BUR6-TO 1000 a. m; $40
FOR MffLFoRD-7oo io57 a. m; i,25, s45
FoRS Pi!!.TE;SE,IELD AND AIBANY-s.ss "A 9
t'l2,2S p m. daily. except Sunday morn
ing. Sundays-%t1.42 AZ q. m; 1912. f7.40 p.
FOR sPRINGFIELD-6ss, SIS. 20 Is, 'lo12.
45Oe, 712. s7.4O p. M; Sips midnight
Sundays-A1142 a. M. 1912 *5.06 <l.i0
p. m; *l2.2S midnight
FOR NORTH OXFORD MILLS, no.
WARTH'S AND WEBSTESt-6.3s 1920
q. m; G.2U. els r, n, Returning leave
Webster-,53o. $50 q. m. g, 42s p. N.
NEW YORK-6SS, sio12 4. M; si.O9,
$500 p. m; "12.2S midnight. Sundays
$500 3. M; *l22S midnight.
xpress trains ." Albany sleeper at 1928
a. m. daily, except Sunday morning.
Local time tables, showing time of
trains on all divisions Of the road. viii be
furnished on application at station:. also,
through tickets to all important points.
A. s. HANSON. Gen. Pas. Agt.
The Worcester spy., 1898-10-28
wan rapers.

have removed from 205
Main st to 229 Main st. We have some
ten thousand rolls wAll paper which we
are closing out at bargain prices. T. A.
Peterson Co
The Worcester spy., 1898-10-28
For Sale. Real Estate.

Rateo for one week or more under this
heading: 2ls cegts per line each insertion
The Worcester spy., 1898-10-28
STEAMERS.
WINSOR'S LINE
Oily Direct Line to Philadelphia

Every "Wednesday and Saturday at D.
m. from Ives wharf, India street. Provi-
dence.
For Freight OMIy.
Steamships Norman, A. S. Megathlin,
Saxon, s. G. Sherman.
No wharfage and no rehandling Goods
received daily and forwarded promptly /.
Connects with Pennsylvania Railroad, also
Philadelphia and Southern MaD Steamship
Co, for Saws nnah.
south and west. Mark your goods Win
sor's !ine.
For further Information apply to
GEORGE A. KILTON. Agent, Ives
wharf India street, Providence.
GEORGE c.. ECKHARDT, Agent. 458
South Delaware avenue, Philadelphia. Pa.
e, B. SAMPSON. Gen. Man. Boston.
Mass.
The Worcester spy., 1898-10-28
SPY WANT ADS ARE INCREASING RAPIDLY, BECAUSE
To let Flats and Houses.

Advertisers under this head can secure
ITO LET"
Cards free Of charge, by applying at
THE SPY office.
The Worcester spy., 1898-10-28
FOB RENT. .

NEW i, TENEMENTs Of 8 rooms. all med ned
utes' walk from Lincoln st. cars; rent
low to small families. Apply to q. p.
Squier, 2SS Lincoln St, or A. W. Woods
51s Main st.
The Worcester spy., 1898-10-28
Hello Wanted Male
Treasurer Wanted.

A young or middle-aged man of good
business habits to invest $4,000 in prolita-.
BILE corporation for position as treasurer,
and take an active part in the manage
ment. Such an opportunity seldom Of
fers No brokers or curious people de-
sired. Address p, o. Box 1905, Provi-
dence r
The Worcester spy., 1898-10-28
GO WEST BY THE r1TCqBURG
RERLROAD.
dune 9Th. 1s9s.l

The scenic route of New Enc.lgnd Tie
shortest route, Offering best se.v'ca ap1
The Worcester spy., 1898-10-28

FARM FOR SALE - Excellent soil. in
good cultivation, all right every way
Box 1873, Grafton, Mass
The Worcester spy., 1898-10-28

TWO FINE APARTMENTS OF rooms
each in the albion" cor. Main and
jackson sts., steam, elevator and all
modern appointments. r. j. Healey,
81 Main ST
The Worcester spy., 1898-10-28

CHOICE APARTMENTS in the Ruggles
houses on Lowell st. (south end); com
plete modern appointments, steam
heated, beautiful location, spacious
grounds, janitor, / minute from Main
st. electrics: houses new, rents low. APP
ply to r. w. Ruggles office S~B, Lowell
ST
, 1898-12-02
IL Measures the Flash.

An apparatus has been divised for
measuring the duration of a fash of
lightning. Inside a camera there is a
small carrier, which holds the sensi-
tive plate. This is caused to revolve
very rapidly. When the flash is photo
graphed thereon it will describe a
curve, mailing a certain number of rev.
olutions rour1 the center of the plate.
AS the number of revolutions per sec
ond is accurately known, the number
of revolutions on the plate will give
the exact part of a second the lightning
flash has lasted.
, 1898-12-02
Portrait and Simmer

A touching anecdote, associated with
q picture in the National Gallery al
Edinburgh, Is told by an English lady
in her book, "Pot-Pourri from a Surrey
Garden" She writes:
Several pictures stand out with Pc
culiar interest, especially the life-sized
Gainsborough of the young Mrs. Ora
hame. She sat for the picture as a
bride, but before 1t came home she was
dead, and her husband had gone to the
wars.
When he came back he never had the
courage to open the case which con-
tanned his young wife's portrait. On
his death, many long years after it was
painted, it was opened by his heirs, aud
inside the case was the little white Slip
per she had left with the painter 10
help him to finish his picture.
The portrait was given to the Edin-
burgh Gallery, and the slipper was
kept py the family.
, 1898-12-02
An Egyptian Advertisement.

The story of the proposed trolley line
from Cairo to the pyramids recalls an
other instance of modern enterprise. A
certain tract society commissioned a
painter to place religious texts on all
available objects in Egypt. He traced
this question on n of the pyramids:
do you want to be savedT'
Another painter, in the interest of a
quack medicine concern, came along
and added beneath:
"If you do, take Blanks Pills."-At.
lanta Constitution.
, 1898-12-02
Paper Hanging by Machinery.

The successful operation of paper
hanging by machine is one of the latest
achievements of mechanical ingenuity,
says the Werkstatt. The arrangement
employed for this purpose is provided
with a rod, upon which the roll of
paper is placed, and a paste receptacle
with a brushing convenience is attach
ed in such a manner that the paste is
applied automatically on the back Of
the paper. The end of the wall paper
is fixed at the bottom of the wall, and
the implement rises on the wall in such
a manner as only to require that it be
= t.H@
, 1898-12-02
Funny Au-Around.

Ex-Governor Jackson of Iowa for
many years was the Hawkeye secre-
tary of state, and employed in his
office quite a large clerical force. Ono
! afternoon q rather rusty ~ruralite
wandered in and Mr.. Jackson immedi-
ately saw in the newcomer opportun-
titles for fun.
Hey ye got q telephone" STAN
mered the caller.
Certainly" replied Jackson. there
it Is on the wall. Help yourself to
It," Then, as the stranger slowly
walked up to the telephone and be-
gan looking 1T over, Jackson passed
word among the clerks to watch the
experiment of a jay In trying to use
a telephone for the first time.
The visitor looked the instrument
over carefully, as If trying to figure out
how to use it. The entire office force
was watching him with unconcealed
amusement. Finally he timidly took
down the receiver, looked at 1T with
evident curiosity, tapped it gently
with his fingers, and then, giving Il
glance about the room, blew the dust
off the receiver and putting his lips
close TO it softly said "Hello!'
This was too much for the clerks.
The Office force burst into a roar of
laughter, Jackson promptly went to the
assistance of the old man. Hold onr
he cried. Don't try to talk into that.
That is the receiver; not the transmit
ter. Hang it up again; then turn the
little crank on the right, place the
receiver to your ear and wait till
central answers
The visitor was looking at Jackson
as cnriously as one might regard an
escaped lunatic. Say" he drawled.
whats the matter with you, anyway?
I'm an expert sent over here by the
Bell Telephone Company to find out
what's the matter with this instru-
ment."
And not a clerk dare look up from
his work for the next hour.
, 1898-12-02
The Best Annie Sauce.

."Ande we,haa the best apple sauce"
saidta young girl, when telling of a
visit .to,a dear old"aunt. :.
.. ApNherein did lit differ. from all other
apple saucer" 'the,Dother Qoleried quiz
zically. For the. mother thought she
knew all there YVES to. kHo w'sbout apple
Sauce.a .
.,."Well, l don't know" said the young
person, but it was the best, and Sire
put the sugar in it before she cooked 1t,
and 1t was so different from any other"
1t so happened that the mother had
occasion to make some apple u for
tea, and not to be outdone by any
auntie, however worthy she might be,
the mother also put the sugar in before
she cooked the apple, but the young
person said 1t wasn't a bit like auntie's.
Now l happened to know just how
this auntie really did make her apple
sauce, and will tell you, besides giving
you another way, too.
Peel tart ~applea-and quarter them; If
very large cut thevuarters once in .tYo.
Have two'auarts when peeled, azsd put
them int E-granIte kErIfg; pour qser
them two cups of sugaIAand set on the
back part of the range, when there. -
a fire in 1t. Let them cook slowly untl
perfectly clear. Cover them closely.
l didn't say anything about the wa
ter? No. and that is just where the diff
ference comes in: the apples are cook:
ed in their own juice, and this, combin-
ed with the sugar, makes a rich and
most delicious syrup. which will almost
jell when cold.
Don't be afraid of their burning to
the kettle, though they will If put yer
the hot fire at first; it will not take long
for enough juice to exude to cook them,
and they may be stirred until smooth,
or the pieces may be left whole. They
must be cooked until they look clear
and translucent.
For the other recipe. use red apples
If you can. Cut up a couple of quarts
of apples. or have a couple of quarts
when they are cut. Do not pare them.
Put them into a small stone jar, put
over them two big cups of sugar and
cover closely. place in the oven and
let them remain for our hours at least
The oven should o be very hot. The
apples will come out looking as red Is
rubies clear through, and tasting * de-
licious they would tempt even a non-
apple sauce lover to try them.-The
Household.
, 1898-12-02

She-"Are Mrs. Singers daughters
at a manageable age?" He-"Not
now."-Puck.
Gildersleeye-"They say there are
microbes in whisky" WHEREFORE
And air-ships, too.'-Puck.
Dora-"He said there was one thing
about me he didn't like Cora-"What
was that?' Another mans arm
Life.
Mrs. Henpeck-"You're not the mar
I took you for" Mr.. Henpeck-"Alas!
| am the man l took you for."-Pick-
Me-Up.
Miss Highsee is a beautiful singer,
isn't she|' VERY. That was all that
made her singing endurable.'- Wash
ington Times.
Waiter-"Gent at third table wants n
hot roll" Cook-"Hot roll? He must
think we have money to burn."-Cin-
cinnati Enquirer.
He-"Would you scream if I should
kiss your. She-"And if l were to al
low you to, would you squeal?'-In-
d~ianapolis. journal.
Mistress-'You were snoring awfully
In the might, Mary" Maud-"Yis. IN,
but it was out of worrukin' hours."-
Boston Transcript.
When a tandem couple quarrel in
Chicago they go into court and SUI
for separate wheels and maintenance
New Orleans Picayune.
Not coming their way: New York
people were disgusted with that earth
quake" "Why?' 'It moved from east
to west."-Chicago Record.
VisitofH"What is that DREADFUL noise
in the yard% Rev. Thirdly's youngest
THAT'S pa pfacticing his vacation
eough."-New York Journal.
Getting Around It.-"Your wife
bought these cigars, didn't she?' Eyes;
how did you guess it?' They're in
such a pretty box."-Jugend.
, 1898-12-02
Getting Down to the First Cause.


n RI our best-kt1own colleges, was dis
tussing In a recent lesson the process of
i~ertiliztng plants by means of insects
carrying the pollen from one plant to
mother.
In order to amuse the class, he ex-
tended Darwin's ingenious illustration
used in the Origin'of Species, about the
connection between cats and clover,
and said that old maids were really the
ultimate aus of 1t all. The attention
Of his hearers was strained to its ut
most as he proceeded.
"The bumblebees carry the pollen"
he declared; 'the field mice destroy the
nests Of the bumblebees, therefore it Is
quite evident that the more field mice
there are in any neighborhood, the
fewer the bumblebees and the less
pollen variation of plants. But cats
aevour 1eld-mice, and old maids pro-
.bect cats. Therefore, the more old
mice, the more bumblebees.
"Hence," was the professors trium-
plant conclusion, ''old maids are the
cause Of variety in plants"
AT this point a fashionable young
freshman, with a single eyeglass and
a general appearance indicating that
he was got up regardless of expense,
arose and asked:
81 sa-a-y, ~professah, what Is the
.cause-ah-of old maids-don't you
known
Perhaps Miss Brown" "a quick-wit-
ted member of the class "can tell you,"
suggested the professor.
"Dudes" said Miss Brown, sharply,
and without a moments hesitation
saturday Evening Post.
, 1898-12-02

Martha-"I wonder what made me
jump in my sleep?" Minnie-"Prob-
ably you were dreaming that some one
proposed to you."-Yonkers Statesman.
"Dawkins rs better dressed than any
man in the club" "Yaas; he deserves
great credit for his taste in Dress"
well, he gets it from his tailor
Boston Traveller.
Mistress-"Didn't the ladies who
called leave cardsp' Maid-"They
wanted to, ma'am, but l told them you