Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1898-06-15
HOW TO RUN THE WAR.
The rnikative Coiored narber TIA.
tts Views and n Not slow TO
Express Them.

Nessnh." said the talkative barber.
.'cere's a big iel' open TO dat Admirable
Dewey. sho's YOU bon. He's the idol NV
de Merican people right now. an. |
specs bell come nigh bein' onh mex
president IL Sampson or Stay. what YOU
call II, suhe Sly2 Yessuh. Sly. IL dcv
don get anudder great victry foh
dey don VIII dem Spanyurds.
Seems like To me. dough. dat /
wouidn' wanter be president. You les
git all mannuh NV fun made NV YOU in
&c papabs. an YOU les havter keen
quiet an take il all in. But IL dat man
Dewey would come back now an 20 an
over de country Wild magic lantern
pichers, he would make money TO burn.
an he could tell all about how he de-
stroyed dat fleet. Yessuh. a show ike
dat would draw like a dun razzuh.
wnz er taikin' to Duh paster. sub.
an he said dat ies one speech by dat
admirable would pay of de debt NV Eb-
ony chapel. an We'd have ernuH LET
oveh to pay de pastuh fur year. But |
don't guess be eNpec's 20 lectnh. sub.
when he gifts back. case he'll have his
hans fun goin' ter recS ptions and sich.
He's great man, fer a fac. dat's whut
he H..
1t mus keep De president a wurryiu'
now wifi all desc hyeh ships and cruisers
and torpedo boats on he's min. I bet
you wouldn' be settiu' M all night
a wurryin' about dem Cape VERIFY fleets.
No. sub. I'd jes SEN some mob NV dem
ships Nv ourn oveh Gar an blow EN-
out nv de waters. dat's what I'D do. An
as fer de Philippines. I'd sholy keen
EN- aftuh | got froo de ,vah. Dis coun-
try nevah did have sich chance at
slams Ia all its bohn DAYS. and dev bet
ter Git plenty while dey's gitiin' 'cm.
Dem islan's wuth good money, dey say.
"Nhuts dat dey's sayin'. boss. about
de government goin' ter give every
colohs man a sugar plantation down in
Cuhy after we git hold OF IT, Dat
wouldn' Doe bad idea. sub. but den +
kinder guess dat Walnut streets good
crnun fer me. No. sub. 1 don want no
yalier fever in mine. but fellcr dun
tell me dat DE black foxes don get De
fevuh. How is dat? But a good sugar
farm Uin't a bad thing ter have. guess.
an f dey's Eoin' ter give 'em away
dere's lots Of black trash dat ought ter
go down an' Git en- farm. for dcy hnin't
no use In dis country, anyway
SAY. DAT ole Blanco. he's good fight
er oyeh dc TELEGRAPH cable. amt he q?
Oh he can git mp ia de morhin' au' sink
de Oregon am raise blockade fore
breakfast and den he goes back and
sits in de shade an eats bananas. But II
de exchange eveh cuts him OF frum
ole Sagasty he's gone gosling. fuh
shuah. for DAT man caynt do any good
'cept he's got cable ter TELEGRAPH over.
Den he gifts In his work I dun 'spect
dey its keep him on de pay roll ter Jolly
up all dat crowd over In Maydrid and
Caydis. Den in de eyenin' he SENS
EN- anuddcr despatch dat tells 'em he's
dun captured few moh hattleships.
an dat news dey git fuh de mornin'
papahs. You say dey's cut dat cable ?
Well, dat ems de wah. shuah. II dat
ole geezcr cayn't send EN- des patches
about all de 'Mericans whui he's killed
an all de battleships whut he's caught
he'll go crazy.
Bay rum. yessuh. You orter Jet dat
hoy at de mex chain shave YOU. sub.
some time II YOU want to heah whut
he'd "a dun IL be WIZ Mckinley. He'd a
had de wah oyah fob dis an every body
would bin gwine ter d, baseball games
fer de recreashun. 'stidder talkin' about
wah. But foh me. sab. ies' let De pres.
iGent run de wah ter suit hisscf. lie
gifts big money fuh dom de wuk. an
I'm not gNsiue ter interfere Cincin-
natl Commercial Tribune.