Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1898-05-25


addressed the bridegroom thus: ''Wen,
you have got the pick of the batch" The
faces of the four unmarried ones were a
study.
Watkyns = "How's Chumley getting
on?''
Atkyns-"He's suffering from nervous
prostration. The doctor told him last
week that he must take more outdoor ex-
ercise.''
Watkyns-"Well is he doing it,"
Atkyns-"1n way. He has ordered
his man to walk fifteen miles day.
Somerville (Mass.) Journal.
On one Of the islands that make up the
city of New York (says the SUM lives Il
young man, who, though really business
man of good repute, is of light and airy
manner, and somewhat given to gossip
and the spreading of social news The
war has affected him periodically, and
the other day he sought advice from a
friend. (Which ought | to enlist % he
asked; the light artillery or the cav
airy The veteran considered the cues
ton seriously, and then spoke. "Dickie."
he said, Il think you'd do best in the
carrier-pigeOns."
Entering a diapers shop, a tramp said,
Il don't see what | Want-can | ask for
it,"
Certainly" was the reply.
L am tired and thirsty, and want two
pence"
Admitting his cheek, the shopwalker
gave it to him.-Tit-Bits.
King Frederick William the Third was
very sparing of words, as is we'll known,
but one day he was told there was at
TOplitZ, where he was then drinking the
waters, q Hungarian magnate still less
talkative than the King. An opportunity
for meeting was soon managed. and the
following conversation took place. the
King beginning: 'Bathing" Drink
ing" "Soldier?' millionaire" Good"
''Policeman?' "King" Compliments"
San Francisco Argonaut.
Claude-'I thought you were not going
to pay more than $50 for a Wheel
Maud-'I didn't mean to when I went
into the store, but he said if I'd take the
pump for 9S cents. indianapolis Jour
nal.
The costliest flag in New York can be
seen in the window of a Broadway jew
eler. 1t represents an outlay of $4,000.
This flag is made of diamonds, rubies
and sapphires. 1t is very small for its
it looks big to the people who stop to size
it up. 1t has Is stripes and ~ stars.
The white stripes are of small diamonds,
800 of them. The red stripes, of course,
are of rubies. the same in number and
size as the diamonds, but for the blue
field are about 800 sapphires, with ~
diamonds for stars.
In his anger he reproached his wife
or
Club, forsOoth!' he bitterly exclaimed.
And the baby hasn't been weighed for
a Weekr'
She was manifestly touched with re-
morse, for she tore her hair and promised
to do better.-Detroit Journal.
Barthe, the French dramatic author.
was SO completely wrapped up in the con-
sciousness of his own Importance as to be
often strangely insensible of the wants
and woes of Others
Calling once upon friend whose opin-
ion he wished to have regarding his new
comedy, he found him dying, but not
withstanding, proposed to read the play.
Consider" said the man, II have not
more than an hour to live
Aye" replied Barthe, ''but [ assure
you that this will occupy only half that
time. ''-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
NJ. Fizzington is quite a lingust, isn't
hep
Z never knew it,
''Oh, yes, he talks three languages"
what are they? p
Horse, baseball and golf."- Chicago
News.
Attorney lsternly)-'The witness will
please state if the prisoner was in the
habit Of whistling when alone"
Witness-"1 don't know. I was never
with the prisoner when he was alone."-
Tit-Bits.
Willie
The man is anxious said little Viii
lies father.
''Why is the man anxious?'' persisted
the boy
Because answered the father, "the
man has become suddenly famous and
yet he cannot forget that in his callow
days be wrote love poem which ne can
not now find"
"Why should that worry him?' demand
ed Willie.
'He has seen what has happened to
other men, returned Wilie's father, land
he is very much afraid that at some fu-
ture time-possilby after he is dead
somebody else will find that poem and
give it to the world. "-Exchange.
A German on trial many years ago in
Western Ohio for maliciously cutting a
neighbours COW had SO convinced his at
torney Of his innocence that, although the
evidence against him was totally INSULT
cient to convict him, his attorney, in or
der to give him the cOmpleteSt yindica-
ton, placed his client on the stand and