Evening star., 1898-05-14
DOOLEY. on THE WAR.
Has a Few Remarks TO Make About
His Cousin George.

----S - AsSfniFNs 10 MIKE ABOUT
His Cousin George.
From the Chicago Journal.
Well said Mr.. Hennessy in tones of
chastened joy. Dewey didn't do a thing
to thin. I hope tn poor la'ad isn't cooped
up there in Minneapolis
'Niver fear" said Mr.. Dooiey calmly
cousin George is all fright
Cousin George?" Mr.. Hennessy exclaim-
ed.
Sure" said Mr.. Dooley. Dewey or
Dooiey, tbs all tn same. We dhrop a letter
here an there, except tn haitches-we
nirer dhrop thim-but were til same breed
II hgEtin' men. Georgy has tn thraits iv
tn family. Me Uncle Mike. that was a
handy man-was tculd wanst he'd be sint
TO hell FIR his NANNY sins. an he deserved
II, fr Iayin' out TIL wan sin iv runnin'
away II m annywan, he was booked fr
lverything firm murdher to missn' mass.
We'll, he says, amy place l can get into,'
ne says, L can get out iv,' he says. 'Ye
bet on that he says
so it is with Cousin George. He knew
IN way in, an it's tn same way out. He
d'dnt go in be TIL family inthrance, sneak
IN along with TIL undher his coat.
He left Ding Dong, or whativer It's We
call it. an says he. Thank Gawd.' he says,
m where Mckinley can't give me his
IDEAS " how to run quiltin' party an
call 1t war, he says. An so he sint a
man down in a divin shute an cut tn
cables SOS Mack cuddent chat with him.
Thin he plauces up to tn Spanish forts
an hands thin few oranges. Tosses
Ihim cut like man throwin handbills
1r 4 circus. Take that he says, AN
raymimber tn Maine he says. An he
goes into tn harbor, where Admiral What
tn is an, says he, Surrinder,' he says.
Niver, gays tn Dago. Well says Cousin
George, III just have to push ye ar-round,'
he says. An he tosses few slugs at III
Spanyards. TIL Spanish admiral shoots at
a q nd an
an writes a cable. This mornin' we was
attacked, he says. An he says, we
fought tn inimy with great courage. he
says. Our victhry is complete he SAYS.
We have lost ivrything we had he says
'Th' threacherous foe,' he says. 'afther de-
stroyin' us, sought refuge behind a mud
scow, he says, but nawthn' daunted us.
What boats We cuddent r-run ashore we
surrindered.' he says. 4 cannot write
no more he says as me coat tails are
afire. he says, AN | am bravely but rapid
ly Ieapln fir wan vessel to another, fol-
lowed be me valiant crew with a fire en-
gine,' he says. If 1 can save me coat
tails he says. they'll be no kick comm
he says. Long live Spain, long live me
sif'
well. sir. in twinty-eight minyits be tn
clock Dewey he had all tn Spanish boats
sunk an that there harbor lookin' like a
Spanish stew. Thin he r-run down TIL bay
an handed few war-rm VANS into tn
town. He set it on fire an thin wint ashore
to war-rm his poor hands an feet. 1t chills
tn blood not to have anything to do FIR
an ho:r or So
Thin why don't he write something
Mr. Hennessy demanded.
Write echoed NJ. Dooley. Write?
Why shud he write? Dye think Cousin
George amt got nawthin' to do but to
set down with a fountain pen an write:
Dear Mack: At O'Clock L begun a peace
full blockade iv this town. Ye can see tn
pieces Everywhere. l hope yeer injyin' TIL
same gr-reat blessin'. So more at pris-
int. Firm ye'ers thruly. George Dooley.'
He amt that kind. 'Tis a nice day, an
he's there. smokin good tin-cint see-gar
an THROWN dice fr tn drinks. He don't
care whether We know what he's done or
not. I'll bet ye whn We come to find out
about him Wen hear he's ilicted himself
king iv tn Filipino islands. Dooley tn
Wanst. He'll be settin' up there undher
a pam three with naygurs fannin' him
an a dhrop iv ticker in tn hollow iv his
arm, an hootchy- -kootchy girls dancin'
befure him, an livery tin or twinty min
yits some wan bringin a prisoner in
Who's this? says King Dooley. a Span
ish gin'ral,' says tn copper. Give him a
typewriter an set him to wurruk,' says tn
king. On with tn dance he says An
afther awhile. whin he gifts tired iv tn
game, he'll write home an say he's got
tn islands, an he'll TURN thin over to
tn govermint an go back to his ship. an
Mark Hanna'll organize tn Filipino
Islands Jute an Cider Company, an TIL
rivolutchinists'll wish they hadn't. That's
whatu happen. Mark ME wurrud."