The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1898-05-25

wish l could find some nice, yellow
meal"
Now, look here" said the mother, from
the green garden patch,
II you want any breakfast, you must get
up and scratch"
True.
Watts-'It takes travel to bring
ut what there is in a man.
Potts-'Especially sea travel. -
Indianapolis journal.
His Tact Saved the Day.
"Oh," she said, "your conduct is
nough to make an angel weep"
81 don't see you shedding any
ears" he retorted. Tit Bits.
And the Fastest, Too.
81 wonder how | can make my
honey go the farthest.
"Have you ever bought conversa-
on over the long-distanco telephoneY'
Detroit Free Press.
Business Sagecity.
''I offered that lady $500 for her in
crest in the property and she refused
, consider the proposition"
81 offered her $4,000 and she
lmped at it. Detroit Free Press.
IinAaI
"I guess" said the very studious
lan's wife, "that L will buy new
air of bicycle stockings" "
"Really!" he exclaimed, as he raised
is head for a moment from his work
I didn't know that bicycles wore
Washington Star.
Giving Away Family Secret.
Teacher (of juvenile class -"In the
entence 1T is greatly to his credit,
That is the meaning of the word
Member of Glass cts something
ou've got to have when you want to
uy pound of butter at the store"
what She Calls Him.
"All wives have pet names for theiI
remarked Mr.. DinwiddiC
O Mr.. Beechwood. "My wife cal
ne Baby What does your wife cal
rou?"
"My wife calls me down generally,
eplied Mr.. Beechwood. -Pittsbur!
chronicle Telegraph.
A Long Story.
Ned-"If you want to marry Al
leiress, why don't you propose t.
Miss Elderly? She's rich"
Ted-"Yes; but l object to he
,ast."
Ned-"Why, 1 thought that wa'
Ibove reproach."
Ted-'It is; but there's SO mucl
# it. Brooklyn Life.
Ethel Knew.
Mr.. Green-"Now, Tn going tC
ell you something, Ethel. Do you
inow that last night at your party
,our sister promised to marry me?
lope you'll forgive me for taking her
way"
Ethel-"Forgive you, Mr.. Green
If course 1 will. Why, that's what
he party was for!"-Punch.
All "a Loau.
pretty touchy sort of chap, tina
Grandson.
SIS he? l thought he was the mild
,st man in the world?"
80 he is, but he's always trying tC
borrow"
For the ever expanding uses of ou
noble tongue give opportunity for mis-
axes Of this sort Buffalo Enquirer
At tho Quick Lunch Room.
Proprietor-"Don't you want som,
If this pepsin gum? Best thing in th'
world for Indigestion.
Newcomer-"But | never have in
Proprietor-"That makes no differ
lnce. You will have it in few days
L any rate, oil our customers have it
md we sell lots of this gum. "-Bos
on Transcript.
A Heartiess Girl.
"Miss Renfrew-Alice," he cried
Il must speak. For week 1 have
walked about as one dazed. i hav,
been unable to eat. At night / hav,
,ossed upon my bed, to arise, haggarC
md miserable, in the morning. r.
"Oh," the fair girl interrupted, g.
1now what is the matter with you
10 and play croquet or golf. Yol
need exercise. Chicago News.
Too Analytical.
81 must confess" remarked Mis-
Cayenne, "that 1 do not like to be ad
lressed in poetical language"
''I am sorry that | ever made tn
lttempt," replied Willie Washington
II hope have not offended.
"No. But since you said had {
she'll like ear / have never been Ger
tain that you mightn't have had n sad
lle-rock in mind. Washington Star
Not Exactly Substitute.
In the course of a morning call OF
The Rev DIR. EonrthlY the Rev. DR.