The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1898-01-27
KISSING NOT CUT OUT.


IL was home talent show, and We sat
patiently waiting for the unexpected 10 hap
pen. The unexpected always happens with "A
home talent show. and an inner mountain
village is not proof against this long acce pied
stage fact. We strangers from the unregener-
ated East who were there in the mounta ns
for our health's sake. felt assured, therefore,
OF an experience before the night should be
over.
II was "The Mikado" which was to be pre-
sented, tattered and torn by its transit from
first-class theatres in the East 20 the town
hall of Teton City. We han heard Nanki'
Poo as he lad sung about being n thing OF
shreds and patches and we had heard Ko- Ko' :
announcement OF his theories and ideas, and
were getting along fairly well in our listening
when the kissing sopg was reached. Then
Red Pete Barker. who was singing Nanki-
Poo. advanced 10 the footl'ghts.
Ladies and gentlemen" tho tenor singer
began, "this is n mighty poor place in the
show 10 interrupt the proceedings TO make a
speech but as certain things are about to
happen, think IL only fair that you be put
ON. | have heard that Holy Moses Perkins.
who Is known and generally hailed and
greeted as the eventful husband Of Miss Betty
Hoylcr. who is taking Tie part Of Yum Yum,
has announced 10 oil concerned that il |
followed out the directions OF the book Of
this play and insisted kissing the lady.
there will be Ave different kinds of trouble.
/ hereby announce that am going 10 tegin
kissing the young lady in about three min
utes and shall keep right tn kissing her
through the whole blamed stng; rnd | fur
ther announce that I shall DO that kissing
i'm full view of the audien &c. Moreover it
may be of interest TO you To know that /
have sccrcted IN iese long and flowing robes
two frst-rate slx-shooters right ready for
business. / am also armed with the fact
that HOLY Moses Perkins IS sitting i'm scat
No. l61, which Is IN plain view from the stage.
A. the scene which is about TO be- presented
is n crcss between delicious love song ana n
homicide, and az l shall cartss tho yoang
woman with one eye on her beauteous charm 5
and the OTTER On seat No. lG7, | hope you
will overlook any little shortcomings in the
affair. ] hate To mention su h low, coarse
things. but the gun which ] shall use first is n
self-coclxer and has been recently oiled.
Thanking you for your kind attention, the
show VIII now go on"
We listened 20 the rendition of the kiss
kiss song with great interest, especially those
who were in range OF seat No. l67. Nothing
happened, however, Mr. Perkins remaining
statuesouely mute. But when the applau 80
continued on It's demand for an encore Mr.
Barker appeared once more Mt tho stage
front:
''Thank you. he said, "for this vindica-
tion. but if you want some moro of il ! am
compelled TO say you can't have it. | respect
Mr.. Perkins claims on the premises. Thank
you ono AMI all, and especially Mr.. Perkins,
who has this night sacrificed his feelings for
the Advancement of art The show will now
proceed" D."
We then leaned hack and listened respect
fully while Pooh Bah told about his trouble
and his expectations. Chicago Record