Evening journal., 1898-05-06
THE LACHRYMosE WOMAN.

THE LACHRYMOSE WOMAN.
There are women who are never
happy unless they are in a lachrymose
5tate. This sounds paradOxical, but it
IS true, nevertheless.
The Wayfarer knows a woman who
makes it her business to go to funerals,
md no doubt many of his readers num-
per the lachrymose woman among
those on their lists Of acquaintance.
attending funerals is about the only
zeal fun and recreation which the
|achrymose woman has. She feels that
II is her mission on earth to help
lthers to mourn. She may not know
he deceased, or any member Of his
family, but that makes no material
|litference to her. She watches the
obituary notices in the newspapers and
makes dates with the corpses with
consistency which is at times most en-
Iarrassing to the family. She may not
Pc invited to the funeral, but she re-
4 'ards all such omissions as oversights
.lcident to grief and the disturbed men
/ al state of those to whom was en-
Irusted the responsible duty of sending
ut the invitations. She goes to the
ouse, to the church and to the grave.
( he sheds tears enough for the entire
+amily of the deceased. She gazes upon
. he face Of the corpse and remarks:
+ How natural he lOoks!" as though il
&-ere the first and foremost duty of
lying man to so compose his features
s to look natural" after death en-
les. She is the critic who guages the
epth of the grief of the individual
lemhers of the family She tells the
Norld that MARY took it dreadful
6ard, but that "Lizzie didn't seem to
: ind it so much" She is a firm be-
lever in outward manifestations of sor-
'w. No one can convince her that there
& IN be intensity of grief where the
ngue is mute and the eye is dry. To
Ter mind a funeral is not a bowling
lccess unless the bereaved wife gives
mt to a heart-rending shrek and falls
lcOnSciOus across the recumbent form
her beloved dead. To satisfy her
8 ourniul lOngings the oldest son must
& Y, Mother! mother" and two OF the
rls must go into Mysteries. If the
tll-bearers drop one end of the casket,
the horses attached to the hearse
+ Ike fright and run away. the lachry-
ose woman feels that she did not put
her best black dress and bedew it
tn tears for nothing. There must be
mething stirring and out of the Ordi-
lry, or the funeral passes into local
story as nothing more than a COM
on, every day, prOsaic "buryin' "
arked by indifference and heartlCss-
ss on the part of the surviving rela-
res who seemed to be glad that the
or soul was gone" and the lachry-
1se woman Immediately begins specu-
ing as to the number of months
iich will intervene before the widow
lrries again, usually allowing her from
x to seven, and never more than q
ar, anyhow
The lachrymOse woman regards her
Z as a universal comforter. She will
a lid a bridge of sighs to get into a
me, and float herself into the cham
b Of death on a flood of tears. She
lks through life with Death on one
e Of her and. Grief on the other. The
-th was made to plant corpses in and
raise tombstones on. Her eyes filter
It water for the sake of all who die
q all who grieve. She prOwls around
neteries and reads the inscriDtiOnson
tombstones. They are her news
pers and her whole interest in the
ssent war is to know how many fu-
rails they are having on each side Of
; conflict.
he lachrymose woman is to be found
aTywhere. She is a harmless nui-
nee who must be tolerated until her
hrymal apparatus breaks down, foT
IRE is no conventional manner by
ich she can be suppressed.