The Saint Paul globe., 1898-10-16
EpiStes to ST. PouI

Dorothy Morton has been slightly favored
by the people of st. Paul this week. but
Inn Murphy has a prize hard luck story:
In small town in Northern Ohio one night,
Murphy sized up a small audience through
mole IN the curtain. 1t was about time for
'he performance to commence, the comedian
said 10 the local stage carpenter:
is this one of the towns where the audi
ence comes in later"
don't just know" replied the man,
sometimes they come in purity late. and
agln, sometimes they clean forgit to come in
at ALL"
The mess that Kenyon has got himself into
reminds me of the parrot story" said the
city hall politician, ''ever hear the parrot
story? WelI.,I won't inhict it on you. but
IN brief way. there was a parrot who was
given to profanity. He was repeatedly chas-
USED and his mistress one day hit on the
scHeme or dousing him in the water barrel
every tlme he used naughty language. He
nau gotten so used to this treatment and dis
nKed 1t so much that he made an effort to
REFORM One day he was perched in the
Ntchen window looking out into the rain, and
ne saw drenched chicken run across the
yaru ana seek shelter at the door. 'A-h.'
shTleKed Poll. know what's the matter
with you; you talk too d-m much That's
WHAT'S the matter with Kenyon"
A lowiy italian stood yesterday morning at
tne corner of Robert and Fourth and carefully
cooked up a mess of chestnuts He was
neither political speIl-binder nor a joke
MAKER so 1T was the real article he was
cooking uD. The savory nuts caught the
attehuon OF the passer-by, and the wapeerer
from the Pontine Marshes was coing the
business or his life. He gathered In nickels
anu burned his fingers with much graceful
ease and the sun OF prosperity was shining
on him. A man drove an ice wagon up Rob-
erI street. The season was over with him.
ana he could see that ice would presently
De "a drug on the market, and he would have
10 become policeman or something and he
was desperate. He drove desperately and
When ne got to the corner Of Robert he had
to pull up short and then back out of the
way OF car that was crossing. He backed
up to the chestnut vendor and threatened
the stand. The merchant shrieked Gospel
TO- Maldetto," and the other things it
is meet and just for an Italian to say under
the circumstances. He put his shoulder to
the end-gate OF the ice wagon and pushed
hard. The horses were in training, and the
Italian gave ground In q minute his chest
nuts, cooked and uncooked, were spread out
IN pool OF water, and the charcoal was
sputtering fercely in the wet. The Italian
was speechless for a moment; then he hurled
a broadside Of foreign oaths at the driver.
The latter turned about on his s7at and lis
tened When the Italian was through the
driver retorted:
'Ches'nuts Get-ap."
Teddy" Webb of the Morton Opera COM
pany, was the recipient Of a tender "mash
note" yesterday. Where can 1 meet vou?"
the fair writer pleaded.
L will be in the end seat on the front row &"
When the curtain rose Mr.. Webb glanced
at the end seat on the front row. There was
pretty girl there, but he could not be sure
that she was paying any more attention to
him than to any other of the male members
OF the cast, unless possibly Phinnares
There was also a pretty girl in each of
the three other seats that might be copsid-
cred end seats in that row. That kept him
pretty busy. He finally sought counsel Of a
friend. This one confided to another. and
shortly the entire company was spending it's
moments OF repose in a study Of the four
pretty girls in the front row.
After the second act one of the young wom-
en- was thrown out of the race. Her identity
had been discovered, and 1t was declared to
Mr. Webb that the note was surely not from
her.
SO straw vote of the company was taken
as to the other three. 1t was a warmer con-
test than that which was waged in Paris
mind when he awarded the golden apple.
1t is safe to say that the two young wom
en- who did not write the note will, If thew
see this, sit farther back next time.