Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1898-06-22

between the Republicans and the
Democrats ?" Towser-The Offices.
sG Never remind other people OF
personal deformity, or of their rela'
tives who may have disgraced them.
s9 We pass our lives in regretting
the past, complaining of the present.
and indulging false hopes of the future
sa The original copy of the Decla'
ration of independence, as written by
Jefferson, has been found in Philadel'
phia.
s9% "Honesty is the best policy"
But you have to pay premiums in this
world and realize on your insurance in
the next.
B@ Numerous thousands of young
Spaniards, fearing conscription, skip
from the frontier provinces of Spain
into France.
p9 A japanese bride gives her we'd
ding presents to her parents as some
slight recompense for their trouble in
rearing her.
a9H "Every Klondiker who returns
has gold," laconically remarks the La
Cross Press. "Those who have nc
gold can't return"
~ Queen Victoria has seven chill
dren living, and has lost two. She
has 33 living grandchildren, and 81
great-grandchildren.
s9 He put an enemy in his mouth
to steal away his brains, but the
enemy, after thorough search, return
ed without anything.
Bd5" In modern naval conflicts oppos'
ing vessels seldom come within two
miles of each other until the vanquish,
ed vessel strikes her colors.
B6- Pope spoke of the tongue as a
valuable weapon :; yet we have never
heard of the arrest of woman fol
carrying a concealed weapon.
sas- Instantaneous photography has
revealed the fact that the former
method of representing lightning as a
fiery zigzag was entirely false.
n6" "Do you imagine Miss Tandem
is in love with you, Charley?" "Well,
she called me puppy the other even
ing, and you know how fond she is oi
dogs.
BS The Egyptians were such hard
drinkers that they served boiled cab
bage with salt meat as the first dish at
meal. in order to stimulate their
thirst.
R9" The darkest hour in the history
of any young man, says Horace Gree
ley, is when he sits down to study
how to get money without honestly
earning it.
a9- Merchants in the large towns are
putting up bicycles stands in front OF
their places Of business. These take
the places of the old fashioned hitch
ing-rails.
pa" A Chicago debating society re.
Gently discussed this question (which
is the happiest day of mans life
the day he is married, or the day he is
divorced ?"
B91 1t has been the custom of the
Delaware legislature for many years to
appropriate a small sum for annual
distribution among the Sunday schools
of the state.
Bay If Texas were as densely popu-
lated as the state Of Massachusetts,, it
would have a population greater than
France and Great Britain combined,
or about 75,000,000.
Bas- Everybody knows that it is hard
enough for a bachelor to hold baby,
but it is said to be simple torture when
it is the baby of the girl who Tilted
him heartlessly only three years before.
a9 The wealth of Paris is so bound
less that the rubbish and refuse Of the
city are worth millions. There are
more than $4,000 persons who earn a
living by picking up what others throw
away.
saT The test for symmetry is to turn
man with his face toward the wall.
If he is perfectly formed his chest will
touch it, his nose will be four inches
away, his thighs five, the tips of his
toes three.
s9 "Johnny," said the neighbor,
"has your father joined the church
yet ?" "No'm." "He's going to, isn't
he ?" "Yes'm. But 1 think he's put
tin it off until after the next circus
comes to town."
eg~ "What a fine head your boy
has !" said an admiring friend. ayes" "
said the fond father, "he's chip of
the old block; amt you, my boy ?"
ayes, father, teacher said yesterday |
was a young blockhead."
Bdr 1t was when the late Professor
Proctor was an English school examin-
er that little girl defined the differ
ence between a man and brute as
follows: "a brute is an imperfect
beast. Man is perfect beast"
R1r The Boston Herald is authority
for the statement that the expenses of
the New York Journal and the New
York World in gathering the war
news are each about $4,000 week,
while that of The Herald is greater
than either The Journal or The World.