The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1898-07-21
Sforyeffes.

Tommy was all excitement because
the visiting lecturer was to take dinner
at the house, but had promised to be
on his best behavior during the meal.
The determination to be polite was so
strong upon him that he felt it incum-
bent to show his good will.
"Where is Mrs. Lecturer" Tommy
asked explosively, in pursuance of his
conscientious promptings. This was
the most embarrassing question that
could have been propounded, for the
guest and his wife had separated. He
pretended not to hear, while the host
kicked Tommy on the shins. He re-
allied that he had blundered, and felt
that he must make amends.
II hope she's not SICK" persisted the
urchin.
1--WE did not agree, and we thought it
best to live apart" said the visitor, with
view to ending the unpleasantness.
Didn't agreed" exclaimed Tommy
excitedly. Thunder! Why didn't you
fight it out, like paw and NAV does?"
This opened the way for hearty
laugh, and the atmosphere was cleared.
Wichita Beacon.
Onr boys of Co. G did an act the
other day that shows they have true
American hearts. Out on the parade
grounds is seen little group of sticks,
and if you notice when the 5000 sold
iers are on the field drilling they never
approach those little sticks stuck up in
the ground. If you go to the spot you
will find lark's nest, built before wars
alarm had been sounded Here in the
armed camp the bird, her nest and six
eggs are safe. Members of Co. G found
the nest as they swept across the field
in company formation. The boys
opened ranks and passed on. Succeed
ing companies of soldiers opened ranks
as they passed the spot. Then our boys
set up sticks around it and now the
mother-bird sits on her eggs, an emblem
of peace while all around are the trap
pings of War-Austin Herald
OK
The wife of well.known senator
took her little daughter, 4-year old
damsel, to matinee to see Jack and
the Beanstalk.' a week or so after
ward she was discovered pirOuetting
and lifting her petticoats before a
cheval glass. Her father reproved her
and told her it wasn't pretty way to do.
why" said the child, Il saw the an
gels do it,
'The angels exclaimed her father,
"Why, where"
"When mamma and l went to heaven
that day" said the child.
The father explained the fancied
heaven was only the theater. The lit
tie girls face fell.
"And wasn't they angels ?" she asked.
NO." said the father 'they were just
girls
The child put on an air of intense
disgust.
"Well," she said, II fink they ought
to be taxed home and spanked cause
they wasn't dressed any more than an
gels."-LewistOn Journal.
O%O
''Prisoner," said the stern looking
Judge, stand up. Have you anything
to say before sentence is passed upon
you?"
"Well," the culprit responded as he
arose and looked around at the people
who filled the court room almost to
SuffOcatiOn, II had intended to follow
the advice of my counsel and say moth
ing. Pm paying him we'll for doing
my talking, but still l have decided to
take advantage of the courts kindness
in affording me this opportunity to say
something that l have had on my mind
ever since this trial began"
Every WE'LL" the judge urged, ''the
court is ready to hear you and to weigh
we'll the words you are about to utter"
Thanks" the prisoner returned;
snow shall be able to take my SEN
tence philosophically, whatever it may
be. What wish to say is this: Re
member the Name"
Then, of course, he was given a min
imum sentence.-ChicagO News.
o * O
"What is that man doing on the cor
ner there ?" asked a curious woman of
male friend as she pointed toward
Well-knoWn business man standing
across the street. II notice him there
about this time of day and wonder
what he is doing. Surely he is too