The San Francisco call., 1898-12-26
LOOKING THE G|FT-HORSE IN
 THE MOUTH.
A Domestic Comedy of
 Real Life.
DRAMATIS PERSONE: MIR. POPTRLAW.
 MR. SIRlTGHT.
"'Tls not 80 much how much you pay,
 'Tls what you get for what you pay."

iiS hhai Ivu SGt iui Hhot Juu pdis
 MIR. sTRA1GHT-A merry Christ mas, Pop.
 MIR. POPINLAW-The same to you and happy, bright New Year STRAIGHT-Have you got through with Santa Claus and the giving of gifts to all your sisters and nieces?
 POPINLAW-Yes. They've made my purse a bit lighter STRAIGHT-Been patronizing Pat tosiens in the Mission again, eh?
 POPINLAW-Yes but not as much as felt tempted to. Against my will had to patronize the high price con- bine.
 STRAIGHT-Why, how was that?
 POPINLAw-Well. this way. You know Sis Sally?
 STRAIGHT-Oh, the one who lives in the Mission?
 POPINLAW-That's the one, Sally She has quite a little property there, but she trades at the high price con- cern.
 STRAIGHT-What! And yet she passes Pattosien's two-acre store in the Mission to go down town. I thought she was a woman of sound business common sense. POPINLAW-She Is pretty smart, but, you know, some ladies have feel ing that a thing must be good if it comes high. STRAIGHT-That's a false notion, and they have to pay the piper for it.
 POPINLAW-Now, I was saying Sally would expect me to go to the high price concern. Whats the diff ference? I laid out $50 for each of them Sally and Sister Dolly, who lives in the Western Addition.
 STRAIGHT
 "so to send gifts away to the West
 ern Addition
 You patronized Pattosien's store iii the
 Mission;
 But you went somewhere else to give
 the commission
 To send to the lady who lives in the
 Mission?"
 What did the ladies get. anyhow?
 POPINLAW-I bought each of them a $50 fine Davenport sofa.
 STRAIGHT-Did you compare the goods?
 POPINLAW-The famous Mrs Camp says "Comparisons are odorous," you know.
 STRAIGHT-Your sisters will com pare the pieces. POTENT A W-What theO7
 STRAIGHT-What then! Why, your sister Sally will think you have given Dolly a much finer present than hers. POPINLAW-How so? I have laid out $50 for each.
 STRAIGHT-And you think you have given each a $50 present? POPINLAW-Thats what I think
 STRAIGHT-You had better un- think it again. You will find you have given Dolly a $75 gift, bought at Pat tosien's in the Mission for $50, and you have given Sally s35 present, bought for $50 at the tip-top price concern. . Sally will go for you red-headed.
 POPINLAW-What do you mean?
 STRAIGHT-Dont you see? The Davenport you bought for Dolly at Pat tosien's great two-acre store is charged s75 at the high price combine. and that's where Sally trades, isn't 1t? She will have seen 1t there.
 POPINLAW-I guess you're right. [ Still I don't see the point.
 STRAIGHT-Now follow me The Davenport you bought for $50 at that concern she will see at PatIJsien's marked s35 next time she passes, and then-and then-she'll say: Hes given me s35 present and Dolly s75 pres ent.''
 POPINLAW-My! So she will! T. feel as if my ears were beginning to grow longer I am like the players in [ Midsummer Nights Dream" and can say with Quince Bless thee, Bottom; how thou art translated into jack ass"
 STRAIGHT would rather you should say with Bottom: T see their i knavery. This is to make an ass of mel"
 POPINLAW-I can say that, too.
 STRAIGHT-Never mind, friend Pop. Experience is a dear teacher. You will | be wise to profit by the example of the ! thousands of customers who find 1t to their advantage, if you also decide to