The Hope pioneer. [volume] (Hope, N.D.) 1882-1964, 1898-04-07
BeezWaxzes S.:

:
When dark'ning clouds obscure my sight
I think perhaps t'wi%rain
And when the starss5 are shining bright
know tits clear again"
And thus abstractedly he'd scan
The skies from hour to hour
Old Ptolemy Coperpicus
Flammarion McGoWer.
S SIS
! We often hear politicians say that if
straws show which way the wind blows
Mr.. So and So will iu elected to office;
but if the straws get into whirl wind
like they seem to be. in this state just
now, what criterion comes next?
s SIS
This idea of having the state ticket
change its colors evssy few minutes like
a chameleon is all wrong. Why not set.
tie the principle part Of it by deciding
to have Major Edwards succeed Roach
and Colonel Lounsberry succeed Briggs?
This would give the Major job down
where he lives most of the time, besides
it would show people down in Washing
ton that We are moro liberal with our
jobs than they prove themselves to be
with theirs. ThoseFWho have been liv-
ing in Hope lately sArely recognize the
necessity of having an old war horse at
the head of our stab department and as
Lounsberry is the editor of newspaper
he would, no doubt, consider it an act of
charity for the people to come forward
with their ballots and eliminate him
from his horrible condition. Here is an
opportunity to help two old soldiers
who have been neglected by the govern
ment until they have had to resort to
running newspapers for living
| S ) S
The Spaniards otingly call their nat
ional flag the "Holo of Castillo. Why
not call the old rag CASTLES hope?
SIS
The devil will always have an active
agent on earth as long as the buck saw
lasts.
/
A literary society has met once a week
this last winter in tho school house near
Geo. Coles place AID during all that
time no one recited "Curfew Must Not
Ring Tonight" This society ought to
be presented with a,gold medallion rep
resentation Of an angel of reform in the
act of spreading the glad tidings of a
joyful change of program throughout
this suffering world.
SIS S
An eastern professor says that cat
} will die at an elevation of thirteen thou.
sand feet. This professor is a little off
on such matters, it seems, for can test
ify of having seen cats die at an elevat-
ion of not more than twenty feet. 1t all
depends on what you elevate them with.
S s
The entire Pioneer force has always
been in favor Of peace, and though there
has been some blood shed in this office
from time to time, it has ever been for
the public good that it was split and we
don't remember Of ever having killed
a man that the cammurity was not bet
ter off for his having been snuffed out;
but apropos to this we feel that if it
were not for the duty we owe the public
of staying here and running this great
educator of mankind, we would lock up
the front door, give our dog to some de.
serving neighbor and fly to the aid of
+ our country in this its hour of peril
We do not doubt that there are others
who would fly with us and we feel sure
that if they were as public spirited ae
we; they would be willing to fy-as
Z soon as the enemy hove in sight. If we
could find SO others who are equal in ev
cry respect to the two intellectual giants
who hold weekly services in this office
we would form company of flyers
which we would call Uncle Sans Lane
Squadron with an average speed of II
8 knots an hour during ordinary times with
i ability to double that when in from,
of the enemy and advancing in the same
Y direction they are. Let us not daily
away the gladstone spring time of lifel
brief dream while the blood of oul
slaughtered brethren cries unto us from
the waters of Cuba. Nothing will salts
fly US now but pure, unadulterated, un
J. watered blood with bright little red cor
puscles in it. Every Spaniard should b.
wiped off the face of the earth and i
the government will just give its consen
Is we will take damp towel and win,
q them off.
SIS S
It There is woman living near Towe
!. City who is considered to be
little crazy by those who are judges o
q such matters. The only thing she SEEM
j. to be crazy on is an hallucination she en-
a tertains that her husband is fascinating
"a She follows him around like devoted
bird dog and he can't get up in the mid
die of the night to put the cat out door
. without she gets up also and goe
'e through tho same motions he does
Those who have never seen this woman
q husband may call her actions pure de
votion; but after gazing upon the hus
t band for few minutes, one can not he'll
believing that the woman must be Graz
J. or she wouldn't follow him around th
way she does. This man has whisker