Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1898-10-20
TWO ON A TANDEM.
BY j. A. FLYNN.
MRS. GoLIGHTLY (to Mrs Nupair)

MRS. GOLIGHTLY (to Mrs. Nupair)
lW Cycling. Oh, simply adore it!
But il you want to enjoy it properly
you must have tandem. That's what
Adolphus and I ride. You don't have
any responsibility, and you so ever so
much farther and faster, and you don t
get nearly so tired
Have to do your share of the work
Oh, yes, Certainly. That's only fair,
But, of course, you expect your nus
band to do just little more. Going
up hill, for example, you needn't pedal
unless you like. He'll never notice.
And when you're getting tired coming
home, you can take rest and let him
work it, Men don't feel it, you know;
they're so much stornger. There's
nothing like a tandem. 1t leaves you
so free to enjoy yourself and look at
the scenery.
Mr.. Golightly Ito Mr.. Nupair)-Get
a tandem! Good gracious, no! What
ever put such a notion into your head?
My dear fellow, you're mad to think
of it, Why do 1? Well, l can't get out
of it now I've started, but if | had to
begin again-why, l wouldn't, that's
fiat! You have all the responsibility
andsdon't go nearly as fast or as far
as on a single, and you get twice the
fag.
The lady does some of the work?
Oh, yes Certainly. But she expects
the gentleman to do a good bit more.
Going up hill, for example, she rarely
touches the pedals. She thinks you
don't notice it. Twelve stone odd,
Laura weighs. Then just when you're
done up, the lady will feel tired and
I let you do all the work. You've no
chance to enjoy the scenery or any
thing. So whatever you do, my boy,
don't you have tandem!
Mr.. George Washington-Of course
q single bikes better than nothing;
but, if you want to spin along and en-
| joy yourself, you should have tan
dem 1 told you about Brown and my
self going to Riddleham in just over
| two hours, didn't Ia matter of II
miles? All. thought so! And about
our beating the record to Brighton
You didn't believe it. That's where it
is! It's no use telling you fellows any
thing. You think everyone cxag-
gerates like you do.
Anything fresh? Well, yes; but
| you'd never credit it, so what's the use
| of telling you? 1t twas rather peculiar.
| ! don't know that / should believe it
| myself, if anyone else told me. (Puffs
meditatively at his cigar) Out with
| III -. 70 rao1lv
-deuced serious-and if you play any
larks or make game, I shall shut up,
| remember. Poor old Flyer! (Takes a
long drink and shakes his head sol
emnly.)
You knew poor old Flyer, who held
all the records for a couple of years
A good sort, but rather peculiar. He
always wanted to break the tandem
records, but he couldn't get partner
who was fast enough for him. 1t was
before l took to racing, don't you
! know. Many's the time he's said to
! me: washington, my boy, if you
would ride with me" Look here, if
you fellows don't stop making faces,
shall dry up.
| When he broke his neck in the hun
dred mile race, his people asked me to
accept his tandem, and didn't like to
hurt their feelings by refusing. But,
| somehow, l couldn't feel that anyone
l knew was class enough to take poor
| Flyers place-you'n excuse me, boys,
| but he was rider, you know-so it
! was long time before l rode it; but
| last night l thought I'd take it out by
| myself. When | got on, was aston
ished to find how easily it went;
scarcely had to touch. ii. So | went
| further than l intended, till at last
came to BoXley, where they've built
| that new track. Then thought it was
| time 20 go back home, but I'm hanged
! if the machine would turn, and though
| | tried to back pedal, couldn't stop it.
| In 4 few moments we ran right up to
| the private entrance, and the care
| taker Just touched his hat, and we ran
| On TO the track. why. | thought he
was done fort" heard him say to his
mate, and my hair stood right on end.
For I knew that old Flyers ghost was
riding behind me! Ifyou fellows thinl,
this is a laughing matter, don't.
Well. we ran on to the track just as
| the clock struck eight, and round we
commenced to go. The caretaker
and his pal came and leaned on the rail
> and watched us, and | heard one of
| them say: They're going at the one
, hour record. like he said he would
| when he got his mate" So thought
| that, ghost or no ghost. I'd do my best
| for him. When l put my back into it,
round we went, faster and faster, and
| the place seemed to fly by. | never
saw anything like it, and | don't sup
pose I ever shall. Another whisky?
Well. f'nn't mind II do.
To make a long story short, we went
round 156 times and bit-four laps to
the mile, mind-by the time the clock
struck nine. Then the caretaker and
his friends clapped their hands, and off
we went. When we got outside put
,, up my feet and rested, and let the ma
chine go by itself, and. Look here,
if you fellows are going to throw
things, I'm off!
Mrs. Worldleigh-Annie engaged to
young Rich? Well, my dear, l don't
mind telling you-yes. Avery suitable
match for her, don't you think? We're
all very pleased. How fortunate l am
with all my girls SO nicely settled?
Yes; l suppose ought to think so.
But, between you and me, Fanny,
don't know that fortunate" is exactly
the word. Its management, my dear,
management! That's what ii is.
What do l mean? Well-spealdns
between friends, you know-it's the
tandem. If you would only get good
one, you would have both your girls
off your hands in no time. You see,
everybody cycles nowadays, and lots
of young fellows are anxious to try
tandem, though they mayn't care to
get one just for themselves. So you lei
them take your girls out-the right
fellow ard the right girl, Of course
and the things done. You see, they