The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1898-11-16
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Buzwick-"What is your idea of a
wife?" Wiztop--'A woman who is
married. ."--Roxbury Gazette.
He-"A true man will marry only
for love-" She-"Well, what do you
propose to marry for?"-New York
World.
Mrs. Slimkins, of this town, wants
her boy Johnny to join bicycle club,
"so's to t"c~ hi~' off the street. -
Roxbury GA-cU,e.
Teller-"Sapsmith knows a good
thing when he sees it," Grimshaw- =
eyes; but, unfortunately, he has very
poor eyesight. Puck.
"Why is horse the most curious
feeder in the world?" Because he
eats best when he has not a bit in his
mouth. Our Dumb Animals.
'Maud says she is madly in love
with her new wheel" Huh An
other case where man is displaced by
machinery. indianapolis Journal.
He was a man Of wondrous power.
He made fortune in an hour,
But ere he'd time to tell the joke
The ticker licked; and he was broke.
Washington Star.
The professor had fallen downstairs,
and, as he thoughtfully picked him
self up he remarked: 81 wonder what
noise that was 1 just heard?" Prison
Mirror.
Algy--"You say she only partially
returned your aifection?" Clarence
eyes. She returned all the love et-
ters. but retained all the jewelry. =
Tit-Bits.
The New York Man-"Will the dog
eat out of your hand?" The Chicago
Man-"Why, bless you, I've got him
so he will eat off knife, now!"-
Yonkers Statesman.
George proposed yesterday, and
he said he'd be hanged if he'd take no
for an answer" "And what did you
say?" 81 said I'd be blessed if he
didn't. ."-Brooklyn Life.
He called her Birdie before
They took the marriage vow;
But her dream of bliss is Or
He calls her his parrot now.
New York World.
Angry Customer-'"rhis turquoise
you sold me has turned green" Calm
Jeweler-"My good woman, you
should never have WORE it where other
ladies wore diamonds. Jewellers
Weekly.
Mr.. Borecastle-."A AT last came to
q place where it was so steep that it
would be hardly safe even for don
key to go down-so / turned back"
Mrs. Downshire Tall-"Why?"-
Punch.
He-"Stop! We can't sit down
here-this is fresh paint" She tear
fully)-"I fear you don't love me
blindly. If you did, you would never
have seen the paint. "-Fliegende
Blaetter.
Brown-"But why do you stop SO
often? Can't you keep up with me?"
Typewriter (who is rather shaky in
her orthography)--"Oh, yes, but your
language is so eloquent that / fire.
quently find myself spellbound."
"Well, Johnnie" said the minister
to little boy, 81 hear you are going
to school now" Eyes, sir, ;" was The
reply. "And what part of it do you
like best?" asked the good man.
"Comin' home" was the prompt and
truthful answer.
Mr.. Bilking looking up from the
paper) 1.-THE eminent physician, DIR.
Greathead, says there is no exercise
so conducive to health in woman as
ordinary housework." Mrs. Bilkins
Huh! I'll bet he's married. -
New York Weekly.
Papa--"Now, Johnny, / have
whipped you only for your own good.
l believe L have only done my duty.
Tell me truly, what do you think
yourself?" Johnny-"If / should tell
you what I think, you'd give me au-
other whipping. Boston Transcript
Citizen-'I hear Mr. Olficeholder
is dead" Statesman-"Yes; he died
five minutes ago" Citizen-"I dis
like to show any unseemly haste, but
1 desire to put in my application for
appointment as his successor. States
man-"Walk into the other room aud
take your place in the line. New