River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1898-01-20
a MAINE STORY.
Concerns Preacher. n Parishionet
and q Hungry Little Cnlf.

Il heard George Ball tell this story
up in Stetsou the other night" said the
man who sat on the arm Of the seat
and who sells groceries, and though
can't tell il as well as George did, I'll
give you the Substance. Il was about
minister up that way who has lost
good and a loyal old parishioncr under
curious circumstances.
The minister used TO call for the old
lddy--the parishioner aforesaid-and
give her lift along TO church. One
Sunday when the minister drove up the
old lady wasn't quite ready.
"'I've got to change my dress and
feed the calf she called from the sit
ting-room window.
"'You change your dress, sister, and
I'll feed the calf replied the minister,
cheeriIy, as he htched his horse. We
must help each other. as the good Book
says
81 YUM you're obleeging,' said the
old lady, If you think you can do it,
elder. He's got TO be fed, for if he amt
he'll blat the whole neighborhood
crazy
perhaps you have never fed calves
mean orphan calves, as this one was
His meals were served in trough and
be was induced to drink by means of
tit of cloth that stuck up from the
bottom of the trough and which the calf
was supposed to take hold of.
"rhe minister said that he had been
brought up on farm, and so TO the old
ady's admiration he took the pan Of
milk and went tripping out TO the barn.
The calf greeted him with husky blart
/ that sounded like a laugh of welcome.
| Then he lined up 10 the trough-the
calf did-with frisk and kick, and
waited for the elder.
"It takes swift man, a man of long
experience, TO feed hungry calf and
escape scatheless. The elder wasn't
rimble. When the elder stopped down
with the trimming pan of milk and was
about to pour il into the trough with a
so hossy' the calf sprang at the pan,
/ plunged his nose clean to his eyes,
/ drew into his mouth and nose enough to
/ shut off his wind-and then spouted!
Great Niagara!
"You ought to have seen that parson!
/ Covered from tall hat to shiny boots
with milk and with his whiskers and
/ bis eyes and his hair blown full of
/ froth.
He didn't show up at the house on
time. and so the old lady came out,
tying her bonnet strings, and eager to
learn If the calf and the elder were on
good terms.
''She has told a good many stories
about what She witnessed and heard,
but for myself don't believe she heard
the elder using any such language as
she reported, though almost anything
was excusabie, l will admit. That she
saw the elder doing something TO that
calf I will admit also.
''He had the animal by the ears, was
a-straddle of his neck, and was iabbing
his nose down into the trough at the
rate of 60 strokes to the minute The
cid lady asseyerated and sticks to /.
that she had TO punch fork tine into
the elders leg before he would let that
calf go.
Services that day seemed sort Of
surcharged with electricity, and the old
lady, when she got in her work in the
neighborhood, pretty nigh wrecked the
elder. She rides to another church with
a neighbor and the calf has to be leased
up to the trough three times adayand
has a permanent kink in his neck
Bangor Commercial.