The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1898-04-24
LIGHTNING RODS GONE.
"REMINISCENCES or AN OLD-TIMElI
IN THE BUSINESS.
He Says That Improving Conscience
Caused Him to Resign His Agency.
His Old Contemporaries in the
BusineMs, Where Are They NOws

|
From the Cincinnati Enquirer.
The old lightning-rod agent was in a
reminiscent mood. He had been in to the
free lunch counter four times, and was
feeling pretty good The old scenes came
surging through his brain-the old stories
of the destructiveness of lightning and the
necessity for rods came back TO him and
chased up dreams of gullible farmers and
| jlngling shekels. Then his thoughts found
| expression In words.
What has become of the llghtning-rod
agent?' said he Where are all the old
boys that used to meet on the road and
| swap jokes with? The times are out of
| joint.
still" he continued, 81 guess we over
did II. People used to think that they
weren't safe without 800 or 1900 feet of
rod, with from eight to twelve gilded
points and a few weather vanes around.
Then the lighting-rod agent had a snap.
And how easy the farmers were! 1t makes
me sigh to think OF it, We had lots of
tools TO work with, too
"A little battery hardly strong enough
to shock an old maids modesty, was one
of the successful persuaders, because 1t
would give a little idea of what electricity
was. Then the agent sang his old song:
Now, you see, my friend, lightning has
a power equal to 10000 times this little
battery, and unless you have good rods
to protect your buildings you are liable TO
be sent into eternity. All your proceeds
will be in ashes and your children so bad
ly disfigured they couldn't be used for
angels
"'B'gosh, the old farmer says, 4 didn't
spose she was SIGH a powerful thing.
say, mister, how in the deuce did yer
get 1t into that machine?"
Then the farmer bit an 1t cost him
years crop to get square with the world
again. But it was a steal. No doubt
about 1t; and my conscience used to hurt.
81 was farming up here in Ohio myself
when I first Joined out with the light
ning-rod men. An agent for one Of tho
celebrated rods came into the barn where
l was working and inquired for me. He
told me that his company wanted another
man, and that had been recommended.
II talked business to him, and asked how
much he would be willing to pay. His re-
ply was that l should try 1t month,
they would pay my expenses, and if liked
the business-you have to like that bust
ness-they would give $75 per month and
expenses.
II just shut my conscience right up and
told 1t to keep still till the season was
over, then would talk to 1t. L accepted
his offer. Then skinned the suckers like
a veteran. l often spent an evening with
my conscience during that summer in
social chat, till got sleepy. Then L would
| put 1t to bed and drop off into a snooze
and dream of whole towns being destroyed
| by lightning before had time to sell them
rods. l remember that when we went
| to the county of - trade was extra good,
| and the company represented me as their
attorney and collector, and it was my
business to settle for all jobs. 1 went
| to one poor fellow who was just fixing
| up a home for his wife and family, and
| the boys that put on the rods got on
most too many feet and the bill was about
three times as big as he had expected. or
| course, he kicked when l came around
| to make the settlement. But he was a
| good Christian gentleman and 1 landed
! him.
My dear friend remarked, you err
| greatly IN objecting to this just claim of
| ours. You know the Bible says, Spare the
rod and spoil the child" or course that
is literally speaking, but in the old He
braic version we find the Egyptians had
l lightning rods, and Solomon, when he
spoke those words, meant that the chill
dren were in danger of being killed by
] lightning unless there was plenty of rods
He settled by giving me his note for two
| years. Time is no object on good note
! TO lightning-rod company, for 1t they
| get the half of the face, and get out of
the county, they are ahead.
"One man to whom We sold rods was
I compelled to change his will, as he had left
the residue after his wife and children
were provided for to furnish Sunday
school library. He said the rods licked
| up the residue.
8
was where man had built new house.
but mad not moved in yet. They were still
living in the cabin, about eighty rods
away. As l approached saw a man with
pitchfork, woman with an apple butter
stirrer, a boy with a grubbing hoe a girl
with a garden rake, all marching toward
the new house. 1 htched my horse and
greeted them very pleasantly. 1 told the
| man my business, but it was not neces-
sary. He said he could tell one of us
fellers' any place, and Your men put on
a sight too much rods for house
! like that do you know II, mister? he re-
marked.
He was really pugnacious and was In
for hanging hghtning-rod men. But
'conned' him along and tod him how glad
he would be II he had rods, especially if
his neighbours fine house should be struck
by lightning and destroyed. That got him.
and l hope to die If 1 din't sell that sucker
rods enough to fill his barn. l took his
note for eighteen months and got Just as
far away from him as could get. l was
afraid he'd come to.
II think il one were to undertake 10 sell
rods now he would have to have a regi-
ment of able-bodied soldiers along / have
not seen an agent since quit the business,
nor is there a rod on any new houses that
have been built in the last several years
Telephones, trolley cars, electric lights,
horseless vehicles. Roentgen rays etc have
so attracted the attention of the people
that they have forgotten the good old days
! of lightning rods
Il remember once of stopping at a large
! old-fashioned farmhouse for dinner There
were four men and that many horses. We
We're on our way to new territory We
told the good lady, who was a widow, that
| We would pay her well. She consented to
keep us. We just couldn't help going in
to ecstases over the beautiful place and
she could hear us all the time. How she
and the girls 1.-TWO lovely daughters) did
hum around there and open every kind of
canned fruit, jellies, canned corn, packed
sausage. etc, besides killing and dressing