davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1898-12-28
A Lucky Joke.

Il remember my first case as if it We're
yesterday" said well-known physician,
according to the Detroit Free Press. 81
have every reason to, as it was the begin
ming of my present practice.
My father gave me a good education,
bought me an expensive library and a fine
set of surgical instruments and then told
me to sink or swim, and not expect any
thing more from him.
For a matter of six months it looked as
if it would be sink
THE high hopes with which had start
ed on my career had sunk to zero when
six months went by without a sign of a
patient upon whom to try my professional
skill
Il made bold attempt at appearing to
be very busy, and would rush out of my
office at times as if on case of life or
death.
IN these hurry trips I invariably made
it rule to pass some spot where building
operations were going on, in hope that an
accident might happen while I was passing
that would call for my professional skill
lone day, when I had returned to my
Office from one of these vain pilgrimages,
I found message on the slate that I
hopefully kept hanging on the door while
l was away.
at was a hurry call to attend one John
Smith No address had been given, and
I was appalled, when I seized a directory
to find that there were any number of
John Smiths living In the city.
However, 1t was my first call. and I
wasn't going TO let the fact that there
were several dozen John Smiths stand be-
tween me and my patient,
4 copied them all down on a slip of pa
per. and started TO look them up in their
order.
II was nearly to the end of my list
when a funny thing happened. ! arrived
at the home OF one John Smith just al the
moment that he happened to be taken
suddenly and dangerously H. succeed
ed in bringing him around. and my present
practice grew out Of that case
1T wasn't until was obliged to hire an
assistant that I learned the truth about
that hurry call A young attorney. who
had an Office across the hall from mo. ana
who IKE myself was waiting for a call
had placed the name upon the slate a. a
joke.
nut forgave him. seeing how the mat
Ter had turned out"
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1898-12-28
BRIGHT BITS.

-Jamie-Pa, what is "lese-majeste?
Pa-Thats the Latin way of calling a
crowned head chump-Cleveland Lead
err
Injustice Of Fate-"A mans can't do
much without money" NO, and when he
has money he doesn't need to do anything
Cincinnati Enquirer.
-Hibbler-Does your novel end happ-
lily?
Scribbler-No; it's been rejected by every
ENTHUSIASTICALLY Life.
kitty, how did you happen to give me
this pretty card-table?"
why, Jack, I needed one more for my
euchre club Chicago Record.
The Old ay-she-"Do you think we
will ever save up enough money to get
married?" He-"Not unless we break off
the engagement. brooklyn Life.
Exalted Ritualism-Askns-I am told
that your new rector is very high church.
Miss Churchly-Indeed. he is extremely
high! He is so high that he plays golf on
Sunday afternoons Puck.
Two of Kind-"Beg pardon, are you
McOrbit, the prize-fghter?" Young Teller,
I am pugilist, not prize-fghter. Are you
one of them reporters?" mo, sir; I'm
journalist. "-Cincinnati Enquirer
Giving Up the Struggle-"Henry, I
wish you would let me give you your
Christmas present now" why, Clara? ?"
I'm worn out changing my mind about
it."-Chicago Record.
-Bill-"You look bad. Jim. Been laid
up?' Jim-"TO-day's the first time out
of doors for three months" Bnl-"What
was the matter with your" Jim-"Nothin'.
But the magistrate wouldn't believe it,"
-Tit-Bits.
Up to Date-Hixon-"San the gro
GER is the most enterprising man I ever
saw" Dixon-"Indeed?" Hixon-"Yes; he
advertises to give away a parachute with
each can of kerosene" Dixon-"Clipper,
the barber, is equally as enterprising"
Hixon-"W What's his scheme?" Dixon
He has a card up in his window offer
ing a package of court plaster free with
every shave.'-Chicago News.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1898-12-28
FALSE ECONOMY.

No one will find fault with the effort
of the board of aldermen to curtail ex-
ponses; but il seems that cutting off the
small appropriation to the military organ
izatons of the city would be i'll consid-
cred retrenehment. This is no time for
extravaganza, but neither is it the time
for false economy. Savannah is to-day
reaping the fruits of being a city whose
citizens have always been foremost in re-
spending to every cal to arms. 1t was
the organization and discipline of the To-
cal militia which led to Savannahs being
able to send to the Spanish war seven
companies of infantry and one battery of
artillery promptly upon the call of the
President Had the call been for the de-
Tense of the state, or the government in
home service, every command in the city
could and would have been marched from
its armory, upon a few hours notice, ready
First and Second Georgia Volunteer Regi-
ments and Light Battery of the Geor-
gia Volunteer Artillery, were not among
the troops that did deeds OF vaIor and
shed blood for their country at Santiago
was not the fault of the men. They were
anxious to go to the front. and they are
just as good soldiers as II they had gone
to the front. The state OF Georgia has
decided, through the action OF the legisa-
turo in appropriatng a totally insufficient
and Insignificant sum for the military.
that she will do but little for her volun-
teer militia. 1t is therefore the more in
cumbent upon the city OF Savannah TO
treat her militia literally. The city and
the citizens are proud Of the soldiers The
commands are now about TO he reorgan-
iaod after their war careers. The tax
payers would moi grudee them reason
able allowance sa aside by city Council
Tor thelr assistance.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1898-12-28

Two pedestr stopped at a muddy
crossing to avoid disputing the right of
way with the driver of heavily laden
beer wagon, says the Chicago Tribune.
At the precise moment when one of the
horses brought his big right forefoot down
in a puddle of dirty water one of the wait
ing pedestrians, who was watching lodged
behind the other and escaped deluge of
dark chocolate colored slush.
The other did not escape it.
He was generously bespattered from
head to loot.
lie turned angrily.
What did you do that for?" he demand
do what?'
Leave me to take your mud. It's a
low-down. mean trick! For cents ia
punch your headw
Say, what's a.ling you? Did L throw
any Of the mud on your"
I'm not any mans mud fender, I want
you to understand, b'gosh."
Don't you come any nearer. 1 don't
want a mix-up with a man as dirty as
you are"
Then you want to keep mighty civil.
Gosh blamed shirk! Suppose I had lodged
behind you!'
You'd look thunderin' sight cleaner
than you do now if you had. You didn' [
think of it, and I did That's all that ais
you-except that you need securing"
You'll need a doctor if you say much
more"
20. I guess not. Look here Did you
get any more mud because I jumped be
hind you?"
81 didn't say so, did I?'
would you have gotten any less if I'd
stood my ground and got smeared all over
MYSELF"
q don't care a gosh-ding whether
would or not ! say it was a mean, low
down
mo. you don't care whether you would
or not. You're simply kicking up a muss
because 1 didn't get any muddy
water thrown on me and you did That's
the sort of a c,othespin you are! You're
a jealous, small-minded meanhearte@
snarling, envious, headed. lop-eared
hyena of man who'd kick If you were
going to heaven in a chariot of fire unless
there was a dining car along. Come on
if you want any trouble with me. you
dirty-faced-"
But al this juncture the crossing police
man interferred.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1898-12-28
CUBAN SOLDIERS TO BE PAID.

In the urgent deficiency bill there is an
appropriation of $8,OOOOOO with which 10
pay the soldiers of the Cuban army, and
also Of the Philippine army, 500 each. 1t
is the understanding that when the soldiers
of these armies are paid. the amount stated
they will be mustered out
No doubt the question of paying the Gu
ban and Philippines soldiers has been fully
discussed by congressman of both political
parties and the conclusion reached that
it would be cheaper to pay them some
thing than to have 10 contend with them
as brigands. robbers or malcontents. But
there does not seem to be any other reason
why our government should pay them 500
each.
Il is assumed that we are to
pay them that sum each for the
assistance they gave us in our
war with Spain. 1t is not generally
known, however. that they gave us any
assistance. The Cubans were at war with
Spain when we interfered to assist them.
They are now free from the rule of Spain,
and are to have their independence 1t
cannot be said therefore that they assist
ed our government; rather our government
assisted them. 1t seems a little curious
therefore that We are paying their SOL
dlers on the theory that they assisted US.
If they had assisted us in accomplishing
anything we would be under obligation to
pay their soldiers all that is due them The
truth is we are paying them to accept the
situation and not make trouble.
The soldiers of the Philippines gave us
no assistance whatever. on the contrary,
they We're a source OF trouble to us. When
Agulnaldo wanted TO assist us his offer to
do so was declined. We do not owe the
Philippine soldiers anything, and the only
reason for paying them anything is that
which has already been given.
1t may be the intention to collect from
the revenues of Cuba and also of the Phil
ippines the amount our government pays
10 the soldiers of each of these terrific
ries. Il can hardly be probable that we
are going to pay out 100000 without any
expectation of its return. The satisfaction
of freeing Cuba and the Philippines from
the rule of Spain win hardly be regarded
by the people as being ample compensation
for the lives sacrificed and the money ex-
pended in destroying SPANS government
in these islands and giving the islands
new governments.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1898-12-28
NoT REsTnIcTEn nY TnE TREATY

| All of the peace commissioners agree that
there is nothing in the treaty with Spain
/ that prevents the United States from do
| ing what they please with the Philippines
/ They can annex them, hold them under a
military government. sell them in a lump
10 any one of tine nations of Europe or
divide them up among those nations or
help the Filipiuos to establish an independ-
ont government Senator Frye however
is of the opinion that the United States
viii retain possession of them, not only
for their own benefit, but also for the
benefit of the Fnipinos.
1t is pretty safe to say that the United
States VIII NOT sell The Islands or even
let any other nations get a foothod on
them. They viii ho.d on to them, how
ever great The cost of governing them may
be. If not Immediately. the lime may soon
come when public sentiment in this coun-
try viii favor the independence of the
Filipinos. It IS doubtful if our govern
ment will adopt any definite policy in re-
spect 90 them at once. They will be held
for the present, and il may be for a good
long time 10 come under a military gov
eminent
An attempt at this time to adopt a CO.
ionial system would he met with strong
opposition. and Immediate indep ndeuce for
the islands would not command the ap-
proval of this or the next Congress There
fore, it is probable that The Philippines
will remain under military rule for several
years before a serious effort win he made
to change it.
In the meantime there viii be a great
deal OF discussion as to what ought to be
done with the Islands The Democrats will
contend for one policy and the Repubn-
cans for another. 1t is not at all impro5-
able that the Philippines will be the chief
issue in the next presidential contest, not
withstanding the fact that Senator Teller
has expressed the opinion that all mat
ters growing out of the war with Spain
will be settled before the beginning of that
contest.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1898-12-28

Ensign w H. Buck, who played success
fully the part of a spy in Spain during the
recent war, is Southerner. He s a
Mississippian, and was appointed 10 The
naval academy from that state in 1886
As told in our dispatches the other day.
Buck went to Cadiz and watched Cana
ra's fleet during the time ii was fitting
out, visited Gibraltar and Cartagena and
other cities in Spain and gathered infor-
NATION useful to the Washington authori-
ties, and finally followed Camara to Suez.
and then back home again. reporting every
movement he had made. Every minute Of
the time he was in Spain his life was in
great danger. To have been discovered
would have meant inevitable death. Buck
will 80 on record with the other heroes
Of the war. The South is long" on he
Toes whenever war breaks out
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1898-12-28
CURRENT COMMENT.

The Philadelphia Ledger OudO says:
Senator Gray. the only Democrat on the
peace commission. seems to have reached
the same opinion concerning that docu-
meut that Mr.. Bryan has been expressing.
but TO have reached it by an entirely indie
pendent course of reasoning. He, too, holds
that the treaty merely gives us control
of the situation; we can do as we please"
about retaining or releasing the Philip
pines, but thinks we should not keep them
This appears to be the line on which the
Democratic party is forming its position
The Memphis Commercial-Appea would
not be surprised at almost any sort of
manifestation of fraternal feeling between
the people of the sections. 1t says: I'VE
are living in a fast age, and changes have
come on us suddenly. Among these changes
none are more surprising and radical than
the change in feeling and sentiment
throughout the country. If this sentiment
grows the day is not far distant when the
Republicans of Maine and Massachusetts
will be demanding that jefferson Davis
birthday be made a national holiday.
Stranger things have happened
Fifty thousand troops for Cuba Can it
be possible? That is the force which Adjt.
Gen. Corbin says win be needed. The Du-
luth Tribune (Rep) says in respect 20 the
matter. Fifty thousand troops TO look
after a peaceable, agricultural people thar
are weary OF the stress OF war and are i'm
patient to begin their spring ploughne.
Gen. Corbiu has had excellent opportuni-
ties 10 study the situation In Cuba; and
II he says $1,000 men are needed we shall
be disposed TO believe him But what a
shock TO our ideals respecting the Cuban.
For three years We have wept for him.
yelled for him tried 10 recognize his indie
pendene"' And hnaiiy We have rescued him
from the clutches OF Spaln only 10 and
that 5000 American troops ar, neoossar,
to keep him iu order"
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1898-12-28

Cardinal Satolh, who was in this coun-
try for several years as papal nuncio,
but is now attached to the household of
the Vatican, is expected to arrive at Wash
tngtOn some time early in the new year
on a mission of Importance. 1t is under
stood that he has been selected by the Pope
10 look out for the interests of the Cath
Ole Church in Cuba, Porto Rico and other
territory coded by Spain to the United
States. In this territory there will prob
ably be radical change in the system
OF church government, and the readjust-
ment will be under the supervision of Car
ninal SatoIli.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1898-12-28

There are two big syndicates in the field
trying to secure concessions for the lay
ing of a cable or cables between the
Of Hawaii and Guam And probably it
will not he a great while before We shah
hear of bills introduced into Congress ap-
propriaung several millions Of dollars to
buy out the rights Of these syndicates in
order that the government may lay the
cables itself.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1898-12-28

it is thought in Washington that the
peace treaty will hardly be ratified long
before the expiration of the life of the
present Congress. The treaty win go to
the Senate early in January. probably as
socn as mat body comes together after
the holiday recess. 1t vii. be referred to
a committee. Senatorial dignity demands
that il should remain in committee not less
than week. and it may remain there
longer than that period. Following the
report OF the committee there Will. in
az probability, be long debates upon the
treaty In executive sessions. The sessions
vii not be very long. since there sttll
remains large amount of labor on money
bius 70 be- performed by the Senate. Tn.
cnanoes are therefore that the vote on
no ratification Of the treaty win not h.
reached Tor four Or i've weeks after tbe
instrument SIS received by the senate
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1898-12-28

Col Bryan is extremely fortunate IN
some of the enemies he is making A week
or so ago Mrs. Lease assailed him. and
now Davis H. Waite Bloody Bridles) is
laundering against him. Waite. the other
day, declared that 10 follow Col. Bryan's
advice respecting Porto Rico and the
Philippines would be the acme of nation
al infamy." There is, therefore, an add
ed reason why Col. Bryans advice should
be followed
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1898-12-28
INDEX TO NEW ADVERTISEMENTS

Meetings Subscribers to Savannah Blu
reau of Freight and Transportation; Geor-
gia Council No. 3 r. & S. NJ
Special Notices-My Steaks Are Fine. S.
Martin: Some of Those Nice Turkeys
Left, M. S. Gardner; Ship Notice, srach-
an & Coz Ship Notice, W. w. Wilson,
Consignee; DR.. Sidney ]. Lanier Has Re
turned.
Business Notices-Collars, Cuffs and
Shirts-E. & W. Laundry.
Pure Wines and Liquors-Lippman Bros
wholesale Wine and Liquor Merchants.
The New Year-Mutual Gas Light Com
pany.
IT'S Just About the Right Tbme-West's
China Palace.
Amusements Emma Myrkle at Theater
Dec. %.
Medical-Hunyadi James Water; Hoods
Pills; S. S. s; Bradheld's Regulator;
Hoff's Malt Extract.
Cheap Column Advertisements-Help
Wanted; Employment Wanted; For Rent;
For Sale; Lost; Personal; Miscellaneous.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1898-12-28

The chaplain of the Kansas Legislature
(Pop) varied his prayer the other day by
porters present that they might tell the
truth and let the people know how hard
the Populist legislators were labOring for
the public good. on the same day the
Populist Senate appointed official stem
ographer at a good salary, a man who
never studied stcuography ana who did
not know one shorthand sign from an
other, ana who would not have recognized
a typewriter machino) If ne had met one
on the street
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1898-12-28

1t is the fad in New York nowadays
to have in the criminal courts of that city
some young woman that is described 10y
the newspapers as marvelously beautiful
intelligent fascinating, witching. elegant
amazing, cultured. vivacious and whole
string more OF the same sort of stuff
Fayne Strahan Moore was the sensation
last week, as Ivy Crurede was the sensa-
ton a week or two before that. Now there
is another chaImer behind the bars, She
is Louise Nermeule, and she is described
in the yellow papers as being more fas-
cinating than the Queen of Sheba, Cleo
patra or Helen of Troy singly, or all of
them combined. The new sorceress is up
for cheating and swindling, but the 'yel-
lows have~it that her witching eyes and
fetching face have turned The heads of the
zinc gargoyles which grin from some Of
the big buildings. not to mention the
havoc that has been created with the
hearts of the people who attend court
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1898-12-28

Ex-Seeretary Day declared the other day
that he would not accept a nomination
TO be Governor of Ohio. The declnation
dent is reserving him for the United States
Supreme Court. and that Judge Day will
be appointed to that bench upon the oeca-
sion of the first vacancy that he has to
fill
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1898-12-28

According to the New York newspapers
che jury In the Fayne Moore tria. stool
seven for conviction 10 five for acquittal.
The ages of the seven averaged 90 years.
OF the Eve, three were "a or older. and one
@hs 20 years Oh Does this showing argue
anything respecting the power OF bright
eyes upon bad-heads and youiasg
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1898-12-28


every day in the year, and is served 70
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at $l.OO a month, $500 for six months, and
$1,000 for one year.
The MORNING NEWS. by mail, six
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year, $500.
The WEEKLY NEWS, . issues a week,
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s1.O0.
Subscriptions payable in advance Remit
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ter. Currency sent by mail at risk Of
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Transient Advertisements, other than
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amusement and cheap or want column, 10
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ness may be made by postal card or
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ity in delivery should be Immediately re-
ported to the office of publication.
Letters and kilograms should be address,
ed MORNING NEWS" Savannah, Ga.
EASTERN OFFICE, % Park Row,
New York City. c. S. Faulkner, Manager.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1898-12-28

Senator Teller is quoted as saying that
mo Democrat can fight expansion Since
when has Senator Teller been a censor
of Democratic opinions or actions?
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1898-12-28
DYSPEPSIA

Geo. S. Scally OF IS Nassau street, New
York says: For years have been troub-
led with rheumatism and dyspepsia, and
1 came 70 the conclusion to try your pills.
1 Immediately found great relief from their
use; l feel like a new man since l COM
menced taking them and would not now
be without them. The drowsy, sleepy
feeling l used to have has entirely disap-
peared. The dyspepsia has left me and my
rheumatism is gone entirely. l am salts
fed if any one so afflicted will give Rad
ways Pills a trial they will surely cure
them, for l believe il all comes from the
system being out of order-the liver not
doing its work
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1898-12-28

-Jamie-Pa, what is 'lese- ajeste?
Pa-Thats the Latin way of calling a
crowned head chump.-Cleveland Lead
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1898-06-07
A Bogus Butter Newspaper.

The supreme court has invalidated
the oleomargarine laws Of Pennsvl-
vania and Vermont. 1t is we'll. For,
however, in theory the bills we're for
the protection of health and the pre-
vention of fraud, their real object
was to suppress the competition of a
commodity just as legitimate as any
other commodity.-Des Moines Lead
er.
II seems almost incredible that a
newspaper publisher at the capital
of a great dairy state like Iowa, should
attempt editorially to bolster up the
oleomargarine business. The last re-
port of the State Dairy Commissioner
shows that thepeople of Iowa ship
annually to points outside of the
state upwards of $l5, 100000 worth of
butter. Oleomargarine is counterfeit
butter, and, like every other counter
felt tends to injure the genuine article.
The dairymen of Iowa know that the
oleomargarine business rests upon a
dishonest subsoil, and that it requires
set of india rubber morals to defend
it's legitimacy .-Manchester Democrat