Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1898-05-10
SOC JOHNSON'S CASE.
HOW HE ELOPED ON A RAIL AND
FOUND RICHES.

He Pretended to BE Sick, and When the
Boys Learned His Game They Didn't Do
a Thing to Him-Identlty of the "Hu-
man shantycleer."
(Which reminds me-" began Alkali
Ike in a reminiscent way, in response to
the remark of the high proved tourist
that riches are often attained in strange
ways, "of the case of Sog johnson, who
eloped from our midst some years age
on the top side Of a splintery rail an
tharby acquired a fortune.
"This yere Johnson, although I'm
ably assistin in maxim a plutocrat of
him, is a gent that I don't have no spe.
shul acquaintance with prior to the
events leadin up to his departure. I dis
recall when he makes his debut in the
settlement. The first remember of be-
in aware Of him is soon after he an
nounoes that he is sick. I forgit what
particular brand of malady he lays claim
to, but anyhow he gives it out that he's
afflicted a heap an takes to his bed at
the beginnin Of cold weather an lays
thar all winter, receivin the pityin at.
tention ar spoon vittles of the sympa-
thetio citizens plumb till spring.
Nobody suspects him Of bein anything
but what he claims to be, . poor, suf-
ferin cuss, an all winter we sets up
with him an spoons into him sech deli
cacies as the best Ticker in the settle
ment, an pie, an cake, an cod liver oil,
an seoh other remedies as we estimate
are adapted to his case. In short, we
treats him us we'll as if he had murder
ed four wives.
"We never suspects him, an likely
he'd a.been thar yet an us still patient
ly waitin on him if it hadn't been that
finally a doctor shows up in the settle
ment an we drags him over to look at
poor Sog. The medicine mar regards
him critical an comes away an informs
us that thar hain't nuthih the matter
with him But low down dog laziness.
"Accordin, we drug him out Of bed,
inserted him into his clothes an fired
him forth. Next mornin he came back,
earn an unrufaed. We u him out
ag'in. Next day he was back with a
scheme to marry a middlin wealthy
widow an be self supportin by Twin on
her money. He was fred ag'in, an once
more be came back.
"We fred him a couple of times
more, an then when he showed up ag'in
Colonel Handy Polk rakedaround in his
memory an unearthed a rulin that
seemed to fit his case. W. might not be
warranted in lynchin him fer lyin abed
all winter, but we could punish him fer
comm back when he had been run out.
Aooordin, we furnished him with an
overooat Of tar, trimmed with hen feath-
ers an buttoned IN with a broom. We
done the job we'll, made a regular func-
ton Of it, in fact; placed him in an ap.
propriate attitude on a saw edged rail,
packed him about a mile out OF the set.
Element an set him to runnin in a north
sasterly direction.
eve estimated that we'd seen the
last Of him when his ultimate tail feath-
er fiuttered out of sight over the top of
the slope, but next day it was reported
that he had been considerably shot by a
nearsighted sportsman from the east,
who had mistaken him for a cassowary.
II hain't KNOWN nuthin more Of Sog
johnson till about six months later,
when me all Lopeared Watkins sorter
drops into a dime museum up in Kan
sas City an sees him perched up on a
roost with a sign over him desoribin
him as The Human Shantycleer, Half
Gent an Half Shanghai. We don't
know him, an jest stands an gazes at
the repulsive sight, plenty interested.
He is feathered out in good shape, an
has on a tin bill painted up mighty
artistic an lifelike.
"When the crowd thins out, he hops
down from his perch, pulls off his bill
an tells US how it happened. 1t seemed
that about a week after he left the set
Element for good an had run till he
dropped, he was picked up by a gent
who, recognizin his possibilities, poured
oil an wine down his neck an made a
plot with him.
HE had been travelin around from
city to city ever since, exhibitin himself
under the management Of his oaptor an
jest nacherly rollin in wealth. His
manager also acted as his shappyroan,
as you call it in the east, an tar an
feathered him ag'in whenever be needed
it and otherwise looked after his inter-
ests.
"Me an Lopeared came away directly
an l hain't never seen a feather Of Sog
johnson since, but l reckon likely he ia
still goin up al down the earth maxim
money out Of his calamity. Aw, waal,
seoh is life, when we come to think
about it!"-New York Sunday journal.