Mesa free press., 1898-05-06

1 Calls on you, uOH Oc noSey. oo'J
III guess not. I've been thinking what
I'd do to him for more than month";
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
"Stebbins's wife is going to make him
60 in for geology" Whats that forl"
"She can't make him keep himself tidy,
and she thinks If he Is scientific, 1t
won't be noticed. Chicago Record.
she--Here is such a pretty little story
in the paper about how Edison came to
marry. Hell wish some Of these
bright young journalists would explain
how came to marry.-Indianapolis
Journal.
"Here, my DEAR" said the far-sighted
husband, "put this money in the stock
ing for rainy day." So she bought a
pair, and they really looked lovely on
Chestnut street yesterday. .-Ph Philadel-
phia Record.
'Ts II superstition that makes you
burn the feathers after cleaning q
chicken, uncle? have noticed you do
ing so on several occasions" mo sup
erstition, sab; jes' wisdom. ."-Indianap-
oils Journal.
Friend Poetry is drug on the mar
ket, isn't 1t? POet-I should say not!
Friend Then am misinfOrmed. Poet
Your informant probably never tried
to sell poetry or buy drugs.-Buffalo
Commercial.
'Tm troubled about that draft from
the West" said the head Of the firm.
The Office boy hurriedly closed the tran
som and then looked as If he expected
an immediate advance in salary.--De-
troit Free Press.
Bridget, you've broken as much
china this morning as your wages
amount to. Now, how can we prevent
this occurring again2" "Oi don't know,
mum, unless yez raises me wages. =
Pearson's Weekly.
'sMr. Snowman" said an inquiring in
dividual at the menagerie, "can the
leopard change his spots? ?" 'Yes, sir"
replied the individual who stirs up the
wild beast; "when he is tired Of one
spot he goes to another.''-Tt-Bits.
Stranger-I notice that when you an
nounce your text your congregation all
make note Of the verse and chapter.
Parson-Yais; dey takes down de num-
ber Of de verse and chapter to make
policy combinations out ob.-Puck.
Employer-You were late this morn
ing, Henry. Office Boy-Yes, sir. EN-
ployer-Did you forget to mention it to
me? Office Boy-No, sir. But didn't
want to deprive you Of the pleasure OF
being the first to speak of it.-Boston
Transcript.
sI'm proud. of you," said the head OF
the firm; sT have letters from all over
Kansas saying that they have seen our
samples. How in the world did you
manage q" and he patted the travelling
man on the back. Cyclone. Detroit
Free Press.
What's the matter, dear? Hus-
band-I had a chance to bet ten dollars
on "sure thing this afternoon. Wire
And you didn't do it? Well, no mat
ter. Getting money by betting isn't
Husband-You don't understand. did.
Chicago News.
A Georgia man who went to Alaska
to dig gold writes home from Dawson
City: "You may expect me in Georgia
as soon as my clothes thaw enough FOR
me to get my hands in my pockets and
reach the money to pay for my ticket"
Atlanta Constitution.
sI should not be surprised II this
Klondike craze wouldn't be the means
of building up Jinkles' fortune" Us
he going to dig gold?" mo. BE saved
up enough money to make the trip, and
then changed his mind and opened q
grocery. y."-Washingto Star.
Mrs. de Demper-I am not happy
with my husband. Shall drive him
away? Lawyer-His life is insured in
your favor, isn't it? Mrs. de Temper
Yes; made him do that before we mar
ried. Lawyer-Well, don't drive him
of. He'll die quicker where he is.
"You will marry tall, dark gentle
man." said the fortune teller, examin-
ing the lines in the fair hand. THAT
doesn't help me any" despairingly re-
piled the lovely blonde who had called
to consult her; "all six Of them are tall,
dark gentlemenw- Chicago Tribune.
In the Klondike: First Citizen-That
lady Journalist who just came in from
the States seems to be an authority on
economy. Second Citizen-How Is that!
First sCitizen-She has an article In
the Chilkoot Courier on "How to Live
on twelve Hundred Week. PUCK.
r. II s'pose you got Bible you'll let q
guy look into," said one Of the two
| tough young men who had called on
the minister. with pleasure, my
Young friend. If I can be Of any assist
ance to you" "Nah, I got to see fer
meself: dis is to decide a bet."-Indian-
apolis Journal.
+ Metaphysical: Bronco Pete Thought
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