Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1898-05-29
HE'S YEARS BEHIND.
nr pLER MET WITH A COLD RE-
crrTIoN AT CAMP LEE.
vgsy DIDN'T HAVE TINE 10 LISTEN.
,,o Have Forgotten About the
r,,il Mar--A Three-Footed Thing
=, pry-Goods store-Niiitary
chatter.

s,r,how there doesn't seem 10 be
..,.s place in this world for me. now
.s.vs since these young shavers have
,.r-,n putting on blue uniforms and get
..-y mustered in by officers OF the u. S.
With an emphasis on the u. S. To
..1 the truth, we Confederate veterans
t.-,, appear to cut much figure just at
.,..snt. and It looks 20 mo as IL people
49,, take as much interest In what Gen.
p E. Lee and did as they used 20.
-,s-e was a time when, II I appeared In
,,r,any. everybody hushed up so could
Ell NJ nv adventures and describe every
,.,re IN which participated. It looked
nsa FOLK couldn't hear enough OF me
.,.r Their interest was so profound
r.t frequently had to take them back
Years before the war and gradually lead
e., 90 the subject, detailing every Incl
5.rt and even quoting the very language
used weeks before campaign com
,-s-.e8. But all that's changed now.
The only way I can get a man to listen
~ me during these times is TO knock him
down ana s4S VA AtAis anu even lnen j
have TO beat him into insensibillty be-
t--. he will submit.
Last Sunday I went to Camp Lee, and
as shuGled along up Broad street I felt
trat everybody was pointing to me and
saving: There goes an old vet who has
seen r5a. service. I'll bet he's full of
rrl experiences and could charm any
audience
The Consciousness Of my supposed con-
seriousness positively embarrassed me.
Ter / am reserved man and never talk
st5g. my own achievements when out
SIDE noises drown my voice.
When i got among the tents and smelt
the straw in the beds and the fried
grease in the little company kitchens IL
seemed that old times came rushing back
90 ne with a gush and l felt like kick
1s Up my heels after the manner of n
y.-Hs colt. Somehow, kinder" thought
,al, would like to talk about the
vsT I had been in. too, but I was
..----sft about making the move. 1 knew
O. big crowd would gather around me.
and / didn't wish TO make myself con-
Gg.-lous. So l just knocked around q
little while and nosed about and chuck
Jed over the good clothes the fell
lows were a-wearing and the pretty girls
who We're pretending they had come out
90 see their brothers. 1t was powerfully
interesting, but the more L bummed
around the more 1 felt that It was a
Pity some Of the boys couldn't hear about
M adventures.
by and by, just to break the ice. I
tmb.ed Up TO a spick and span youngster
who looked like he wore a corset and a
hustle. and said:
All, my boy. you chaps don't know
What war means. At 11:3O o'clock on
June "a. in 1852. when /"
Excuse me. sir" he said, but I'm
CT. Here comes the captain" And with
o-t appJsciSting what he'd lost he
vaiAed himself away and left me there.
AsNt, i saw young officer who APP
lt-led 10 want nothing on earth TO com
,s,e his happiness save a looking glass. |
moving that the commissioned fellows |
morally appreciated a good thing when |
- otsW H. 4 ulpIOdCAASus anu bdluIlQg |
'lth my cane, said: Well lieutenant. |
GU fellows haven't gotten down TO bus |
less yet. This is just monkey business. |
.e- me give you some pointers. Three |
eeks before my regiment went to Sc /
9ld Manassas, / said TO our colonel one |
ay-"
lie never let me finish. "All right, old |
emit" he said, but I've got TO be- off. 1 |
h.uk I've heard that before, anyhow"
nd with that he scooted away towards
Oevy Of girls.
10 takes a heap to make me mad, and
Lying the government for having such
fellow in its service. 1 strolled away.
ONE mean-spirited ROSTERS might have
zen mortified at the rebuffs 1 got, but
100 /. On the whole. 1 was rather glad
hadn't talked more. 1 hate 10 have a
r5wd around me, listening TO everything
say.
Finally, seeing a lot OF ,privates busily
1gaged In reading a newspaper, l ap-
f1ached and said: "Well, boys, reading
De- paper, are your"
IL looks that way, don't it?' said
JTporal, whereupon the general impress
Ja appeared 10 be that 1 had made an
SIS Of myself.
Ignoring the jollity OF these youngsters,
remarked: you buffers will get down
E, after awhile, but war amt poetry"
somebody made the statement that no.
-dy had claimed war was poetry, and
ben a private remarked: SAY, Mister, |
anything on the bulletin-board?"
Nothing" l replied, and then, pur-
lsng 10 fascinate these careless young
sis. I added: Times were hot long
bout 1854 Everybody was a-crying for
s8s. Our division had just left the Pc :
nsuIa one afternoon about o'clock :
3. t was i 80 o'clock-on March 4th, {
hen Colonel Blowmuch dispatched a
.gr.er TO me with -"
Sampson will bust the spots out OF
at feet. won't he, Mister?" interrupted
trlght-eyed boy in the crowd, who
tl- appear 10 have caught my re-
arks.
snoring his question, continued: "As !
was about 20 remark, the Colonel dis
tened q courier 10 me with -" !
And here 1 noticed that the crowd was !
inning out, and IL kept getting smaller ,
ID smaller. until no one but man on ;
ard DUTY was left. !.
Gimme a chew OF your tobacco. pleas :
q he said, without seeming TO realize
% there had ever been civil war. r
t was then that I determined to tell :.
u fellow my experiences IL bust every =
s.. gOl-darned suspender- button on my
3gssrs. Selling him by button on his
a. I began the details OF the story n
alected with the Colonels dispatch. .
20 told IL all-carefully stating the n
be and circumstances. So rapt did 1 II
come in my narrative that failed TO II
my auditor. And when 1 finally got d
ok from the sixties to 1898. realized is
a was clinging TO a brass button OF +"
A