The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1898-09-22

sir
"And," continued Mr.. Jefferson,
"will you tell me what could do? He
took the wind out of my sails. He
proved himself perfectly truthful
man."
"And you finally got rid of him ?"
asked the man to whom the story was
told. Just then someone came in to
light the lamps and the comedian
looked at him quizZically. "No," he
answered with a smile, "that was Will
lam who just came in. l couldn't dis
charge man for telling the truth,
could I?"-Ladies' Home Journal.
The Rough Riders are drifting up to
New York from Montauk. The other
day one of the "yellows," as they are
called in the Bowery, entered so cent
table d'hote. The proprietor came up
most politely and said, "Pm sorry sir
but cannot let you have dinner for
SO cents" "And why not, pray?" de-
manded the Rough Rider, haughtily.
"Any man who has been fed in the way
the government has been feeding our
soldiers during the war, said the propri-
etor, 'who finds himself sitting at ia
BILE without muzzle on, is either 60
ing to eat two dollars worth of grub or
kill the waiter for not bringing him
that much. In neither incident is there
any profit for me so that l ask all SOL
diers to eat on the European plan" And
the brave survivor of Santiago dined a
la carte.
A man and his wife went to Europe,
and the mans mother-in-law went
along. Up to this point there is no nov
city in the story.
On the voyage the mother-in-law fell
ill and died. Of course, she had to be
buried at sea, and so the usual canvas
sack was made, but instead of an iron
weight to sink the body they used a
bag of coal.
In commenting on the arrangements
afterward, the bereaved son-in-law, who
suffered badly, said:
I'll always knew where m-m-m-m-
mother-in-law was going, but b-b-t-
blame it s-s-supposed she'd have ito
carry her own f-f-fuel"-C Cleveland
Plain Dealer
1t was hot evening and the car was
crowded with people who had gone
to the West Side for the purpose of
getting little fresh air, if possible.
A lady who sat in the second seat Of
the trailer asked to be set down at Lib
erty street. The cars whirled away like
an express train for two or three blocks
and then the man who was taking care
Of the trolley rope looked back and
asked:
ado you want Liberty, madam"
She was pretty, demure looking lit
tie woman, but the temptation was not
to be resisted. Apparently ObllviOus of
surroundings, and the fact that the
mans question had directed general at
tention to her, she stood up in the car,
b ut forward slightly and answered.:
Eyes; give me liberty or give me
death"
Everybody laughed save man on the
rear seat He took out his cigar from
his mouth, and as the lady stepped down
cried: "Hoorayn'-COming Nation.
remember hearing of law court
case where man had entered an &C.
ton against railway company for an
injury to his arm in an accident. Said
the opposing lawyer: Il understand
you have lost the use of your arm en-
tirely through this accident 2" eyes"
said the plaintiff. Lawyer-"How high
oan you lift your arm now" Plaintiff
with great difficulty raises it about an
inch. "How high could you lift it be-
fore the accident?" fright up therev'
at the same time shooting it right up
over his head.-Philadelp Saturday
Evening Post.
O&O
The following anecdote is one of the
many about the late Eugene Field
which are going the rounds of the press:
1t was the custom at the office of the
News at christmas-time to give a turk.
ey to each of the employees. Field
wrote the head of the paper that he
. should prefer the Yule-tide courtesy in
: his own case to take the form of suit
of clothes. Here was so good chance
to joke the joker that it must not be
neglected. In compliance with the let
ter of his request, full suit of con