Gulf Coast breeze. [volume] (Crawfordville, Fla.) 1897-19??, 1898-03-18
HUMOROUS.

"What a queer look that fellow
across the corridor has!" Yes; he
has the pedestrian face. Doesn't
ride"
"Women." said the wisest youth,
"haye such way Of arriving suddenly
NJ a conclusion" "But not, said the
savage bachelor, mot when they are
talking"
He-Will you fly with me? She
Certainly. Bring your airship around
at 3 o'clock aud I'll be oil ready but
putting on my hat. Then we can
start at four.
"Tve never heard Mrs. Bibbers talk
much about her husband. l wonder
why il is?" "Probably because she
has so many interesting things to say
about her dog"
Mrs. Jones--I wonder what it is
that makes baby so wakeiul? Mr..
Jones (savagely)-Why, it's hereditary,
of course!-this il what comes Of your
sitting up nights waiting for me
Smith - Doctor, the appendicitis
epidemic seems to have subsidized
somewhat during the last two years.
To what do You ascribe the cause?
DIR. Kill Won Kill-To hard times.
Papa-Alice, thought 1 heard a
loud smack in the hall last night.
Alice - Yes, Mr.. Upsey made that
noise with his lips when L told him
you had cleared $4,000 in a wheat
deal
Jimpson (severely)-Tommy, never
let me hear you use the word sling"
again. Always say "throw." Tommy
Jimpson-Yes, paw. And did David
really put stone in his throw and
kill Collar?
Clerk-Shall make this advertise
ment read "the best in the world, or
"the best in the United States?" BIZ
cycle Manufacturer - BEST in the
United States" 1t means the same
thing and sounds more patriotic.
Literary Critic laying downa new
book II wish every maid, wife and
mother in the country could read that
book. Able Editor-Well, run in
line to the effect that that book is one
which no woman should be allowed to
see.
Mrs. Newlywed-I'm going to sprin-
kle little poison on this piece Of
angel cake, and put it where the mice
can get it; think it will kill them.
Mr.. Newlywed-Why, of course it
will But why do you put the poison
on it?
Spirit Medium Ito skeptic)-Now
that you have conversed with the
spirit of your departed brother, are
you not convinced? Have you any
more objections to offer? Skeptic--
None except the fact that my brothers
are all living
Advertiser wish this advertise.
ment placed in some part of the paper
where people will be sure to see it.
Editor-Yes, sir-yes sir. l can put
il alongside of an editorial, if you
wish. Adyertiser.-H'm Please put
it alongside of the baseball news.
Women" said Mr.. Kittiwink, 'are
entirely out of place in such unfamil-
lar surroundings as the Alaska gold
mines. II don't see why" said Mis-.
kittiwink, looking up from her mend
ing basket. 'Tm sure I've always
known how to handle dust pan"
Miss Ancient Wantiman suddenly
awakening)-I see you have my peck
etbook; but there's very little money
IN that compared with what | have in
bank. Burglar (grutiiy)-Well, there
amt no way to git that Miss An
clent Wantiman-H'm! Are you q
single man?
1T works this wav," said the agent.
when a burglar tries to open the
window this bell begins ringing and
wakes you up" BELL rings and
wakes Inc up!' said Pepper. "And
IT wakes the baby, too. l don't want
It, Take it away. I guess you don't
know that kid of mine"
Mrs. Gabb (hostess)-Your little
son does not appear TO have much
appetite. Mrs, Gadd-No, he is quite
delicate. Mrs. Gabb - Can't you
think Of anything you would like, my
little man? Little Man No. III. You
see, nom made me eat hull lot be-
lore we started, so wouldn't make a
pig of myself
A poor man lay dying and his good
wi'e was tending him. Don't you
think you could eat bit Of something,
JohnP Now, what can get for your"
Win wan smile he answered feebly,
well, seem TO smell ham a-cook-
ing somewhere; think I could do
with bit OF that" ''Oh, no, John,
dear, she answered promptly; You
can have that. That's for the fu.
neral"