The enterprise. [volume] (Wellington, Ohio) 188?-1899, 1898-06-15
PATRONS OF THE PosToFFICE.

| want to become postmaster. MOI
politically, but because am qualified,
and because | think the government
needs my services. came pretty near
being appointed this time, and would
have been, if Mckinley had not changed
his mind and appointed the other fellow,
| wrote him long and very interesting
letter, explaining how had worked for
the party, in season and out of season,
and how | had carried banners in pa
rades and made speeches in his favor,
manv times when there wasn't soul but
myself and the janitor to listen. work
it differently now; carry the key to the
hall myself.
After telling Mckinley what had
done to earn the postoAice, and how pop
ular would be as postmaster, | also
asked him how his garden Sass" was
coming on. He wrote me very polite
note, saying his garden was doing very
nicely. He must have forgotten that l
had written about the postoffice, as he
never once referred to it. Mavbe he
meant to ignore my request. At any
rate, | took it so, and haven't written
him line since l am quick at taking
hints. can be just as independent as he
can, and have scratched his name OFT
my calling list altogether. l am not
sure that | shall vote for him the next
time.
But | can stand it if the government
can. The country is the loser by not
taking advantage Of the offer OF my ser
vices.
shall not despair. 1t does no good
and is a great deal of fun for the other
fellow. | would not despair, even II l
knew how. Despair does well enough
for boy who is dead in love, or whose
liver is out of order, or who has lost his
marbles, but do not believe in despair
for a defeated candidate for postmaster.
| want to be postmaster merely to
enjoy myself. do not care for the sal
arv, nor do | care to have the office be-
cause | would have a monopoly OF the
business. wanted it purely for fun. |
like to see people who never get any
mail come and ask if there is anything
for them, forty times day, and then
look disappointed when told that there
is nothing. They not only never expect
anv mail, but wouldn't know what to do
with it if they got any and would
: drop dead with nervous prostratlon II
they should happen to be surprised by
> getting letter sometime.
And the man who is always telling
that he never gets anything but duns
S through the mail, but wants you to inter
that he never got one in his life. The
e man who gets many duns doesn't say
> much about it, and takes his mail ano
- quietly sneaks to his place of business
n the back way. I also enjoy the man who
gets paper and insists upon reading tt
At the balance of the crowd, and yet car
r hardly spell out the words for himself
III The man with the strong breath, Wht
n smells as if he had been eating raw pole
lie cats, comes up close and tells me, con
m hdentially, something the whole town al
lie ready knows, but wouldn't have cared
~ cent if it had never found it out Mos
S. people do that They tell me their littl
x confidence after everybody else has los
n. interest in them. | like that. | get
en- good fifteen cent Whit of their breatl
nd and am happy.
~ Also the man who is expecting LEI
n ter, and gets mad at the postoffice dt
all partment, from delivery clerk to tn
III postmaster general, and swears he wi
od % never vote the ticket again. He looks
IS, the postmaster as if he thought he ha
ID swallowed his letter, and he expects tt
OIL entire mail service to stop work and hui
it, when, if the truth we're known, n,
'en body owes him letter and he would
40 a' unable to read it if he got one.
Is The fellow who hangs in the delive
sti- window, arguing about buying dime
is worth Of stamped envelopes, while thir
ON or forty people are waiting to transa
~ business that amounts to somethin
cen also appeals to me, and should like