The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1898-06-01
MR. pooLEY oN srRArEaY.
lie E1pre.ie..t Tie Idea. o the Pablo

lie Expresses tho Ideas OF the Pablo on
ths q board at. Washing Cousin /
George Dowey's Low Taste For Flght-
ing.
"a sthrateejan," said Mr.. Doolcy, in
response to Mr.. Hennessy's request for
Information sis Lchampeen checker
player. Whln tn war broke out me
tfrind Mac whit to me frlnd Hanna an
says he. What he says, what can We
do to cr-rush tn naughty power "
Spain 2 he says, am r-ring this hateful
war to u carly conclusion?' he says.
Mobilize TIL checker players, says
Hanna. An firm all CORNERS " tn
country they've gone to Washln'ton,
where they've called TIL sthrateejy
board. =. s
S".Day an night they set in a room
with q checker board on TIL end ~ q
flour bar'l an study problems iv tn
navy. AT night Mack dhrops in. Well,
boys says he how goes tn battle?'
he says. ".Gloryous, says tn STRATEGY
board. Two more moves an We'll be in
TIL king row. All, says Mack, this is
too good to be thrue.' he says. In but q
few brief minyits tn dhrinks'll be on
Spain,' he says Have ye any plans FIR
SIMPSONS fleet?' he says. Where Is
it?,fsays the sthratcejys board. I din
naw,' says Mack. Good says tn
sthrateejy board. Where's TIL Spanish
fleet?' says they. rBombardin' Boston,
at Cadiz, in San June de Matzoon,
sighted near tn gashouse be our special
correspondent, copyright, 1898, be Mike
O'Toole.' Asstrong position, says TIL
sthratecjy. board. Undoubtedly tn fleet
Is headed south to attack and seize Ar
mour's glue factory. Ordher Sampson
to sail north as fast as he can an lay in
a supply ~ Ice. TIL summers comm
on. INSTRUCT Schley to put on all
steam an thin put it OFF again, an call
US up be telephone. R-rush eighty.
three millyonl throops an four mules to
Tampa, to Mobile. to Chtckenmaha, to
Concy Island, to Ireland. ito tn divvle,
an r-rush thin back again. Don't
r-rush thin. Ordher Sampson to pick
UP TIL cable Mt Lincoln Park an run
into TIL BARN. Is thu balloon corpse
r-ready? 1t Is? Thin don't sind II up.
Sind itSup. Have tn. Mulligan Gyards
coop'rata with Gomez an tell him to
cut away his -4whiskers. They've. got
tangled in the riggin'. We need yellow.
fever throops. Have ye amy yellow
fever in TIL house? Give 1t to twinty
thousand three hundred men an sind
thin after Gov'nor Tanner. Tenny Ro-
senfclt's trough r-riders ar-re down
stars havin' their uniforms pressed.
Order thin to tn goluf links at wanst.
They must be no indeclsion. Whcr's
Richard Harding Davis? On tn bridge
w tn New York? TURIN III bridge.
Seize Gin'ral Miles uniform. We must
strengthen tn gold resarvc. Where's tn
Gussie? Runnln'F of to Cuba with wan
hundherd men an arms, Nv coorse.
Oh. war Is dhreadful thing. It's ye'er
move. Claude says TIL sthrateejy
board.
IAN SO 1t goes on, an day be day we
r-read tn tur-rble story w our brave
sthrateejans sacrificin' their time on tn
altar w their country, as Hogan says.
Little we thought whin we whit into this
war ". TIL horrors it wud bring. Little
we thought w TIL mothers at home weep
in f'r their brave boys down. at WASH
linton hur-rtin' their poor eyes over q
checker board. Little we thought Nv
these devoted men. rs Hogan says, with
achln' heads. plannin' to sind three hum
dhred thousand millyon men an O car
load " beans to their fate ut Tampa,
Fla But some wan must be sacrificed,
as Hogan says. An these poor fellows
in Washin'ton with their r-red eyes on
their tired backs will be an example to
future ginerations. as Hogan says, ay
how an American soldier can face his
jooty whin he has to an, how he can't
Yhln he hasn't to-" E
Dewey nin't q sthrateejan?" inquired
Mr.. Hennessy. Is'i.. e.;
mo-" said Mr.. Dooley. cousin
George Is O good ma-an an I'm very
fond W him. more be raison " his dom
that Mayo bosthoon Pat Mountjoy, but
he has low tastes. We niver cud make
sthrateejnn " him. They'se kind "
vulgar, fightin. sthrain In him that
makes him want to so out an slug
somewaI wanst a, month. I'm glad he
Amt In Washin'ton- TIL chances tar-re
he'd so to TIL sthratecjy board an pull
Its hair. "-Chicago Journal. a
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