The Pascagoula democrat-star. (Pascagoula, Miss.) 1878-1920, 1898-05-20

VnO can see why lne paper never mas
right. They even threaten
o quit reading the paper, which Sc
,retly plcases the family from whom
hey borrow it.. This incident also ;
ends to divert the editors mind from
5he State and National issues and the
money qucstion-with particular ref
erence to Saturday night paying off
problem and other trivial affairs 0ver
which he wastes his time.
Here is an ''ache" with which every
country newspaper man is familiar:
Somebody dies. The fact is duly
about three lines in the
next issue Of the paper, this being all
the item is worth. Some Of the friends
and relatives of the dear departed get
to thinking over the matter, and, be-
ing litcrarily inclined, they resolve to
write an obituary. ''Golden Gems"
and the Complete Cyclopedia Of
Rcady-Made Poetry" is consulted and
a few opening stanzaS are quoted just
to start the piece going smoothly.
Then the poor fellow, who has died
and cannot defend himself, is endowed
with all the virtues in the decalogue
and he is waited away on flowery beds
of case to mansions in the skies. A
few closing lines from "Goldcn Gems"
completes the effort, and week later
it is taken to the editor and he is re-
quested to print it "just as Il matter
of news."' The writer of course isn't
particularabout it, but the family will
be pleased, and then it will help fill up
the paper. The poor editor-it having
occurred so long before-meekly takes
the manuscript and prints it. His re-
ward consists in furnishing Il copy of
the paper free to the writer of the
obituary. The family Of the deceased
doesn't take the paper; times are too
hard.
Everybody knows what snap the
average country editor has-that is,
every body but the editor himself He
has nothing to do but work and listen
to advice from other people about how
to run his business. Let us spend
half day with the editor Of the
Weekly Howlcr and see how he enjoys
himself. lie arrives at the office at
1870 and finds the devil just building a
hre-bccn out late the night before
and oversight himself. After stand
ing around for half an hour, swallow
ing some Of the dust stirred up by the
aforesaid devil in his efforts to appear
Industrious, he finally gets at his desk
and morning mail. Here he finds four
bills and Il letter from a paper house
saying they are just out of the stock
he ordered 10 a hurry and wanting to
know If something else won't do. This
of course means delay and a disap-
pOinted customer. The foreman comes
in and kicks for some new type, the
devil says the coal is all gone, and an
lOld subscriber stops to discontinue his
4 paper on account Of hard times. The
editor is by this time feeling happy
50 he prepares to write an account OF
tresome meeting he had to attend
the night before. Just as he gets this
fairly started he thinks OF his promise
to write piece abouta party at Jones
which must be done in glowing colors
. or they will be offended. So he drop.
his tlrst article and commences on thu
second. Then a customer comes II
e with an order for the job department
} and he must be attended to. Whll'
:. busy making an estimate on this job
J the obituary nend comes in with hi
manuscript, an old farmer drops 10 t.
T talk politics for an hour or so, and tw
u ladies leave a free notice about churc|
festival which thcy want written u
I. "real nice" One merchant sends wor
}. to leave out his ad. this week, anothe
y wants the editor TO come at once t
u the store and write a change OF cop,
u his wife telephones that the baby
Q sick, and one Of the boys in the ofiic
IS gets his finger mashed in the pres
y and has to be taken to a doctor. A
IS these and twenty-nine other trouble
"a cnliven things during the forenoon
&c and the editor goes to dinner with
81 headache and about eleven tasks ha
H. inished3, He has been enjoying hil
"a self! On
j Perhaps oncei the most trying 9
10 perimcnts In Utopian life is to ha
no some incorrigible loafcr drop into t
os Office while the editor IS ont and a
!, turb the whole force by telling the
~ what a mistake lie makes by not sta
~ Ing there and attending to ms nu'
mso m ness instead Of gallivantin' arou'
ss -, town. Some time after, when thec
80 itor comes In from long ana tlreso"
10 -, chase after q two-linc item that dlon
~ amount TO shucks, anothcrv'sitor ca'
81 and commences his semi-weck'y ho'
about tho editor always staying IN u
- once when lie ought to be out nus
~ = linz news for the paper AS the mu
- - abused brain dispenser contempla'
~ ~ these two views Of life he realizes I
- :. power to ''swcar" and he swears
H. cordingly.
by So far I have touched only tho fro
ny as 1t were, OF the aches and pains :
It's. | country cditnr. We have other