The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1898-12-15
Sforyeffes

~ pnlcSIud was AC0
Gently travelling on German railroad.
Suddenly there was succession of
danger signals from the locomotive,
and then a shock and crash followed
by cries of pain and horror The train
stopped and a terrible confusion was
evident outside, but our Englishman
continued to smoke without any evil
dence of disturbance.
Finally the door to the little COM
partment is opened by the conductor,
who, pale from terror, exclaims:
"A terrible accident has happened,
sir
so"
"Three cars are smashed to kindling
wood"
"Yes?'
give persons killed outright, and
many terribly injured"
"Yes."
"YOur valet, sir, has been torn into a
number af pieces"
Several pieceS?"
Eyes: what shall we do with him ?"
Find the piece that has my keys,
and order cab
The Santa Fe New Mexican tells
this story: A Chinaman presented him
self before the Deming registrar Office
before the recent election, with what
he claimed were naturalization papers
and was allowed to register. On cleo
lion day he appeared at the polls with
ballot "allee samee Mclean man."
Then it occurred to some of the citizens
near by to examine his naturalization
papers more closely, and they PANIED
out to be marriage lisence issued to
the Celestial in California Then there
was there was pretty how'dye do all
round.
Here is story told of Patrick
Q'Mars, private in the Ninth Regu-
Jars: .-..
Not long ago he went to the colonel,
who was a very severe disciplinarian,
for two weeks leave of absence.
'Well,' said the colonel, "what do
you want two weeks furlough for?"
Patrick answered, "Me wolfe is very
sick, aud the children are not well. an
if We didn't mind, she'd like to have me
home for few weeks to give her bit
of assistance"
The colonel eyed him for few min
utes, and then said:
patrick, might grant your request,
but got a letter from your wife this
morning saying that she didn't want
you home; that you were nuisance,
and raised the devil whenever you were
there. She hopes | wont let you have
any more fnrloughs.'
That settles it, L suppose | can't get
the furlough, thin" said Pat.
No, I'm afraid not, Patrick. 1t
wouldn't be we'll for me to do so under
the circumstances
1t was Patrick's turn now to eye the
colonel. as he started for the door
Stopping suddenly he said:
colonel, can | say something to
yezz:'
"Certainly, Patrick. What is it 2"
''YOu wont get mad colonel, if l say
at?"
"Certainly not Patrick. What is it ?"
Il want to say there are two splen-
did liars i'll this room, and Pm one of
them. | was never married in me
loife.' New York Tribune.
Recently volume has been pub
lished containing anecdotes of Eugene
Fled. The following probably does
not appear there:
In the early eighties young man
from the East, newly graduated from
college, was put on the staff of the
Chicago News. He was one of those
young men of infinite neckties and i'm
portance. Field somehow didn't take
to the young aristOcrat, and quietly
remarked that he was ''rosette,
whatever that may mean. The nom
de plume caught on and the young man
of many initials was seldom referred to
in any other way. One day he was sent
up Alto DelOlt, WIS.,, 10 report some
college event, and missing his train,
telegraphed to the office:
will return at 4:30.-W. II. S. W."
Gene got hold of the telegram, and
piece of chalk, and long before the ap-
pointed time he had covered the walls
of the reporters room, the stairs, and
every other available and prominent
surface of the News office with the