Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1898-08-21

have blown up with him, all kinds of dis
eases, from the humps 20 the yellow
fever, have assailed him, cheap hotels
have tried to ruin his digestion, bartend-
ers and patent medicine manufacturers
have endeavored to concoct potions that
would down him. but he has lived on and
on, smiling at his enemies.
"Train-robbers footpads. t-rain-conduct-
ors, general passenger agents. and Pull
man porters have all tried Intellectually
10 hold him. up. He has been sorely ar
fiicted with suits for alimOny and breach
OF promise; his irresistibly optimistic soul
has been ground between the upper mill
stone, his employer, and the neither mill
stone, his customer. for 10! these many
years, all uncomplainingly.
II has carried the banner in parades.
made stump speeches. put up his stun,
acted as challenger at the polls and SER
geant-at-arms at conventions, and fought
for his political convictions at every cleo
ton, from times OF antiquity until the
present. without ever getting an office.
He has been snake-bittsn, dog-bitten,
poisoned. and partially sunocated through
rooming with customers who insisted on
blowing out the gas. He has been scalped
by ucket-scalpers. license-taxed by Popu-
list legislators. has ridden unbroken mules
and unbridlewise bronches n burros
over alleged impossible roads. has nayi-
gated unfordable streams with double
livery teams, while sitting astride his SAM
pie trunk 10 keep his feet dry. has chased
~cannon-ball trains and overtaken them.
has pumped hand-cars many weary miles,
has helped Jack up" derailed freight ca
bosses, has pried st-age-coaches out oil
m%ud-holes, and still joyously survives.
"He has been shot at n dubbed by
u,aI 49,, Frn,, DfVfra rraaN . avI hArr
have not lived 10 sloat over his remains,
but have frequently died as tributes 10
his i"nextinguishable vitality and readl-
ness for emergencies. lie has crossed
the great American desert before the era
OF irrigation, has been sun-struck IN Mex
ico, frost-bitten in Canada, struck by
lightning on the summit OF the Sierras,
chased by Indians In Arizona, has been
bitten by tarantulas and CHA monsters
in New Mexico, rattlers in Oklahoma, has
made gold-bug speeches in Nebraska. ana
six~teen-to-one speeches in Massachusetts.
and still lives 10 tell the tale, and he
tells IL well.
He is a veteran in hardships and an
immune of immunes, and he now aspires
to help hustle the Hidalgoes Heaven
ward or in any other more appropriate
direction.
AM AI AA1 hNNA az AAAA 80 VI "A
ilization. the picket o. commerce, the
advance guard Of progress. prosperity
and development, carrying the glory ana
fame of his country's industries into all
lands. He has, through his courage ana
activity. been the pioneer OF peace,
blazing the way for education, comfort,
religion, and happiness. He has materially
helped 10 make the world better ana
brighter, the people more homogeneous.
existence more joyful, and faith In eter-
nifty stronger and more hopeful.
while forging 10 the front in advanc-
ing prosperity, he has always been the
.rear-guard I'm retreating the adversely;
when the hosts OF financial misfortune
have threatened our beloved country.
standing like a great rock OF strength
opposing the armies OF disbursement
and oppression in times Of financial dlsas-
ter n commercial Generalization.
-
THE TOWN OF NOGOOD.
My friend. have you heard OF the town
OF Nogood.
on the banks Of the River Slow,
Where blooms the Waltawhile flower
fair.
Where the sometimeorother scents the
air.
And the soft Gocasys growf
II lies IN the Valley of Whatsthcuse,
In tho province OF Lctterslide.
That Tiredfceling Is native there.
the home OF the reckless ldontcare. |
Where the Giveitups abide.
II stands at the bottom of Lazyhili.
And il easy 20 reach. I declare.
only TO fold up your hands and
glide
the slope OF weakwiIis tobogsan
slide. :
10 be landed quickly there.