The Progress., 1898-10-08
PHILOSOPHER PLAYS THE ROLE
OF "CULINARY ARTIST.v
HIS COOK HAS AN AILMEN7."
Bill Performs Feat With Cross-Cut Saw
and Secures Large Supply OF
StoVswood.

the good is more than the bad. In
deed, the scriptures tell lis that all
things work together for good to those
who love God. Certain it is that our
little girl has passed the crisis safely
and is now slowly but surely recover
ing from that long protracted fever.
There is more good in this than there
is bad in all our little troubles. 1t
rains every day and all we can do is to
sympathize with our neighbors ana
friends who have lost fodder and pea.
vine hay, and can assure the farmers
that it will stand more rain than any
other hay if the windows are opened
and aired as often as the sun shines.
1t will lose it's color, but stock will eat
it greedily when 1t does get dry.
Our old cook is down sick and we
can't get substitute, for the darkies
women and children--are all in the
cotton fields taking their chances be-
tween sunshine and showers. So we
are running the machinery of kitchen
and chamber in very economical way.
Bread and butter and toast and broiled
steak and fried eggs and coffee and
milk are good enough for anybody,
and we are getting along splendid. I
make the fires, bring in the wood and
help to wash the dishes. We are all
fond of chicken, but not fond enough
to kill them and prepare them for the
oven. A large old oak in our grove
has been dying for two or three years,
and so hired man to cut it down
and saw it up for the stove. He
couldn't find helper, and so I had to
hitch myself on to one end Of the
crosscut. / used to do that in lively
manner when on my farm getting out
boards, and [ haven't altogether lost
the lick, though I have lost part of
the continuance. By and by I con-
cluded to show what man could do,
and 30 / took off one handle of the saw
and ran it alone.
Yes, it is fact that I cut off FOUR
blocks all solitary and alone by myself
with nobody to help me. I can prove
lt,lf necessary, for our female neighbors
across the street reconnoitered and
watched me and smiled sweetly, and
the passing people drove slow to see
me break down, and old Judge Wikle,
who always steps exactly three feet,
shortened up and sat down and camp
ed on the sidewalk and wondered and
waited for me to surrender and our
family doctor hailed me to quit and
60 home. When I was about used up
my wife she came and ordered me to
stop it at once and I stopped. These
people around here never saw an old
man run crose-cut all by himself and
they never will again, I reckon. But
there's life in the old man yet. All
this time my man Webb was chopping
and splitting up the blocks, and SO in
course OF time we got it NIL sawed up
and split up into stove wood and it
made eight good wagon loads.
The tree was two and half feet IN
diameter for forty feet up, and right
where the limbs all branch out was a
hollow about two feet deep and out of
that hollow two 'possums were thrown
when the tree came crashing down.
Webb had cut down the tree and Webb
saw the 'possums first and captured
them. AS he was putting their tails in
the split of limb says T, "What are
you going to do with them?' "Take
EN- home," says he. Well, I didn't want
the animals, but / got to Eliminating
about the law of "Fera nature" that
J studied in Blackstone, and so to
tease him said: "Why, Webb, those
are my possums; they are on my
land and in my tree and must be
my possums. "Why, boss" said
ne, how,s dat? I goes 'possum hunt
IN or rabbit huntin' and it don't make
any difference where I catch 'em, dey
Is mine, amt dey,, onless de Ian is
posted. And, boss, your lam wasn't
posted and haint even got fence
round it." Webb laughed like he was
Sure he had me- "But see here" said
l, Il didn't hire you to hunt pos
sums; 1 hired you by the day to cut
wood and all your time is mine and
your labor is mine, and according to
the law the 'possums are mine"
Webb wasn't satisfied and finally
proposed to divide the spois, but I
gave up my claim. / have since sub
mitted the question to learned mem
bers of our bar and find that they diff
fer. Now, I would like to know how
those 'possums found that hollow tree
right here in the heart of the town.
What instinct told them there was q
hollow in the top of that tree? But I
am not running 'possum ranch, for
ever since that 'possum supper at
Newman r havn't taken rnuob o+ooL IN