Mesa free press., 1898-04-01
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He-Yes, Like an autobiography.-Puck.
ChoMy-Are you positive she is not
in? The maid-I am; I'd lose my job
If wasn't.-Puck.
'T sometimes think I was born too
soon." "Oh, pshaw! Haven't you lived
to see the chainless wheel?-Puck.
He-Yes, loved a girl once, and she
made a fool Of me. She-Some girls
do make a lasting impression, don't
they Judge.
She-Don't you think there should be
music in every homer He-By all
means! What object to Is music next
door. r.-Tit-Bits.
LEND me dollar, old man." "Can't;
only have half" That's all right;
you can owe me the other half
Princeton Tiger.
Bertha--Miss Spltcuris says she has
remained single from choice. Belle
Yes; but she didn't say whose choice
Yonkers Statesman.
She-Your friend Owen seems to
have run into debt pretty deep. He
Run into debt? He scorched.-Pear-
sons Athletic Record.
"Yes, sir, want to marry your
niece" "Have you asked her motherY
mo, sir, 1 prefer the younger LADY,
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Hell love you with all my heart.
She-That's very nice, but-but- He
But what, darling? She-What about
your arms Chicago News.
The artist (complacently) This pic
ture with the frame is worth 1926. His
friend Come, old man! you never gave
$500 for that frame ?-Truth.
Jenkins wonder how 1t happens
that Miss Kidd is always out when /
call? sJones-Oh! just her luck, /, guess.
Browning, King & Co.'s Monthly.
Young Softleigh-Do you know, Miss
Cutting, that / actually believe am
losing my mind? Miss Cutting-Indeed!
Why, how can you tell?-Chicago
News.
"How did Flimgllt get rich?' 'By
his shrewd speculat tion." "And how did
Fucash happen to lose his property"
"Oh, he went and dabbled in stocks. -
Washington Star.
He-Give me kiss. She decidedly
II won't. He-You shouldn't say II
won't" to me; you should have said, II
prefer not" She But that wouldn't be
true.-Harlem Life.
"One Of the leading Czechs rejoices
in the name Of Czwrczek." "Say,
recognize that. It's the machine the
dentist bores out the cavity WITH
Clevland Plain Dealer.
Tommy-Paw, what is an extraordin-
ary session Of the Legislature? Mr..
Figg-One in which no fool bills were
passed would be very much that kind.
Journal.
"How would you define a patriotw
IT should say patriot Is man who
takes an interest in his country's well
fare, even the morning after his party
has been showed Puck.
He-When was young decided to
make one woman happy. She-Well,
as you have remained a bachelor you
may certainly fatter yourself that you
have done so.-London Home News.
Edith-Do you think it wrong to say
"darnY' Bertha-Perhaps not; but
when one is vexed, instead Of saying
DARN think it more ladylike simply
to knit ones brow-Boston Transcript.
Hell notice that the scientists have
some hope of being able to communi-
cate with the moon. She-Good gra-
cious me! / hope the man in the moon
is no tattle-tale.- Indianapolis Journal.
you're Late, young man. What's the
reason?" '.Had a toothache." "Ah!
has the tooth stopped aching?' 'Dun-
no." What? Don't know! Why don't
you knowy' "Cause it's pulled. Life.
Impassioned orator-A man should
never forget the duty he owes his
country! Auditor (sotto voce)-We
won't-at least, not while there are GUS
toms inspectors left.-New York Jour-
nal.
.sWhat Is your first step in writing a
nlayY' asked the reporter. II look
around" replied the great playwright,
land find good carpenter to collabor-
ate with me."-Philadelphia North
American.
Smith-After trying for ten long
years, have at last succeeded in con-
vincing my wife that am perfect.
Brown-Are you sure Of 1t? Smith-Of
course am. 1t was only this morning
that she said I was a perfect idiot
Chicago News.
"You will marry a tall, dark gentle
man." said the fortune teller, examin-
ing the lines in the fair hand. THAT
doesn't help me any" despairingly re
piled the lovely blonde who had called
to consult her. "All six Of them are tall,
dark gentlemenv-Chicago Tribune.
.It has been asserted that kissing
cures dyspepsia" remarked Mr. Gas
well. 'That should be valuable knowl-
odoa for newly married man." replied