davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-03-26
THE WISE BACHELOR.

What He Has To say About Men snd
Women.
Every hippopotamus probably thinks
it has fine eyes.
No man ever knows his wife we'll
enough to know just what she is going
TO say right after the company have
gone.
A man can find reason for anything
II you give him time to think. A wom-
an can anyway.
III Plato bad met some women, there
wouldn't be any such thing now as pla-
tonic friendship.
A woman's wit reminds you Of coun-
try store crackers. 1t is pretty likely to
taste Of the barrel
A bachelor gets lonesome because he
Is alone. A married man gets lonesome
because his wife is.
Every rose has few thorns, and ev-
cry woman has lot of pins stuck in
her.
1t is what we don't think that makes
us innocent and what we don't do that
keeps us so.
Nothing spoils woman so for the
men as to get the reputation of being
well informed. -
The fatter and plumper u woman gets
the more she longs to have some man
call her his little girl. -
The average woman begins to hint
around to her husband that he ought to
get his life insured long before she can
say she only wants it for the sake CT the
children.
One of the first signs that man is
getting old is when he begins to reckon
bis age by his last birthday instead of
his next
After woman has once seen a man
give nickel to worthless beggar she
will always say that anyway his heart
Is i'll the right place.
Very few old bachelors ever get so
hardened that when they buy two seats
In parlor car they don't wonder how
they would feel if it was for their we'd
ding trip.
The reason why very tall girls don't
get married easily is because whenever
they try to act like little, helpless, nes-
tling things that want to be taken care
OF they get ridiculous. New York
Press
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-03-26
More Battle Ships.

The naval appropriation bill as re-
ported to the house Tuesday, car
ries a total of s35,6S3,056, an in
crease over last year of *3, 764, ,432,
and over the current estimates of
$2,5l4,S24. The increase of the
navy bill allows to be constructed
by contract three sea going coast :
defense battle ships designed to car
ry the heaviest armor and most pow
erful ordnance, displacement l1,000
tons, with the highest practicable
speed for their class, to cost, exclu-
slve OF armament, not exceeding
$4,000, 900 each, one to be named
the Maine; six torpedo boats, $50
tons displacement, to cost not ex.
ceeding s2,340,000; and one gun
boat to take the place of the United
States steamer Michigan, to cost,
exclusive of armament, not over
100000, to be built on the great
lakes. One Of these sea going bat
tie ships is to be built or the Pacific
coast. Contracts for all these ships
shall be let within 80 days.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-03-26

ing car, just the thing for ladies, famil-
les or those desiring privacy, luxuriousiy
appointed standard sleeping cars and the
most comfortable and well-equipped day
coaches ever offered the travelling public.
This "New Limited" train is admitted
by the press as we'll as by thousands of
people of Minnesota and states west who
have inspected it, and also by many
Others of this western country who have
recently rode on it, as being without any
question the finest tram in the world,
and no extra charge is made for any class
of passengers for its superior accommo-
dations.
Tickets via this popular line may be
secured from agents of the Northern Pa
cific railway, who will also make sleep
ing car reservations; or, apply to Capt.
NJ. NJ. Wheeler, travelling passenger aet.,
Miles city, Mont, or to L. w. Teasdale.
G. p. A., st. Paul, MINI.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-03-26
Terms Of Subscription.
TOWN AFFAIRS.

In last issue of the HERALD was
given general discussion of town
affairs which presented the truth as
it appeared to this paper. OF course
every man, and every institution un-
der the direction of man is liable to
err, and some are foolish enough to
persist in the wrong, even after the
mistake has been pointed out. But
not so with this paper.
There seems to be no doubt as to
the legal eligibility of Mr. Bonner
or of Mr.. McAssey to seats in the
council. The statutory law is on
their side and that settles the case.
The HERALD bows obeisant to the
law and yields the field.
There are things in statutory law
which do not seen ri ght. There are
clauses in the law which are not
right. But snail the average cltl-
zen judge the law? Shall he not
rather obey bad law until it is re-
pealed?
The state law provides for no
election of an alderman by the peo-
pie for shorter term than two
years. Vacancies of the council. are
always filled by the council to cover
the unexpired term. This paper
having procured the very best legal
advice upon the subject, drops the
question of right, discussed last
week, and stands under the law.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-03-26


Now that Senator, Gallinger has
returned from Cuba, and reported
the same old story of terror and
suffering on that island, it is IN ord
er for some more senators to 90 to
the island in order to see if what he
says is true. 1t is public outrage,
when men of state spend their time
at no other business than loafing and
talking of Cuban woe when they
might be doing something for the
woes of Cuba, or at least for the
woes at home. But to those who
like to read such stuff we present
what Senator Gallinger saw in Gu
ha. He says:
"Iou can sign my name to any
picture you may draw of utter
wretchedness and desolation and
hellishness in that country. The re-
concentrates are perishing by thou
sands for want of the commonest
necessaries of life. The best in
formation obtainable leads to the
conclusion that there has been be-
yond doubt 100000 deaths as re,
suit of Spain's brutal policy and
many more are occurring from day
to day. There is divergency of
opinion on the island as to the prob.
abilities of war between Spain and
the United States and / am sure
that I am within the bounds of truth
when say that almost the entire
native population would welcome
any turn Of events, however tragic,
that would wrest Cuba from Span
ish dominion. This is true not only
of those avowed favorable to indie
pendence, but of many who are
ranked as Spanish sympathizers. but
who are at heart advocates of Cuban
independence"
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-03-26
A Genethliac Incident.

A Genethliac Incident.
In the Seventh district mnnicinaI cour+ N,
New York.
EYER honor knous | .noaL III. .u,,,h
iu '.'ls n,ai, u'u ssree
81 pAy 'I', aIi, ao',ars u. rs.inore 'hah 'hat
~ P'' " mt
..pso.u.s o,,1x, .,1.,,.l..
h -" asons e1n'o ~ '"o!
III. ~ - 1sI az "s u"'
"' u''
snow Adam Rorn good man sns.l, mn
g.. 80, iIas1;s,', o " aay
", 60 hn',. ,"i,o1 IN w '0u'
" p"'
.Der babv KAN and h. v.s .w;rs
Joost tonbIe nurdsn-sse,
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-03-26
Latest War. News.

According to dispatch received
from Rome the Italian minister of
marine confirms the reported sale of
the armored cruiser Varez to Spain.
The Maine court of inquiry will
make its report to President McKin-
ley on Friday yesterday and it will
go to congress Monday or Tuesday.
The crew of the fiiibuster Daunt-
less, II in all, finding their occupa-
ton gone by the seizure of tnat
boat, joined the United States navy
today.
The two ships purchased of the
Brazilian government have been re-
named. The Amazonas shall bear
the name of New Orleans and the
Abruell to be known as the Albany.
The Madrid impartial says; In
structions sent to the torpedo fleet
to remain in Canary Islands are due
to the governments desire that the
squadron should be escorted to Gu
ba by cruiser and for no other
reason.
The Gar according to dispatch
from st. Petersburg, has authorized
an increase in the ordinary naval ex-
penditure of three million roubles
yearly for six years, in addition to
the special grant of ninety million
roubles for naval purposes recently
announced.
A Herald special from Madrid
says that it is significant that Senior
Sabral, late naval attache at Wash
ington who has full plans of all the
United States coast defences has
been appointed on the staff of the
admiralty, and has had long con-.
ference with the minister of state.
France makes numerous demands
upon China, They include exten-
sive railroad and coaling concess-
ions, exclusive mining privileges
and also insist that the director of
the imperial postoiiice be French
man. Eight days are allowed China
to reply and the threats are inter
preted to indicate French occupation
of the province of Hal Min unless
the Chinese comply.
The Black Hills ranges are being
secured by the United States agents
for horses suitable for the cavalry.
A contract has been made with one
large horse company to furnish
2,00O horses as soon as they can be
brought in from the ranges Nego-
tiations are also being made by the
government agent at Fort Meade
for several hundred more horses
from other ranches.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-03-26

The map of James Cook 1778,
was the first to bear the name
ALASKA" which was a corruption of
the India Akak Shack or "Endless
Land" The United States began
to treat with Russia for the acquisi-
ton of Alaska under President Polk
QS45 1S49) and Buchanan, and the
matter was opened again in 1866 by
Seward, who was then Secretary of
State, and closed the transaction on
March 81, 1867, Russia ceding all
claim to Alaska for the considera-
tion of s7,2OO,OOO.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-03-26
Prepared For ANYTHING.

Salesman-Those are walking gloves,
madam.
Rural Customer--Du tell! I've never
heard of them. Let me see 'em walk.
New York Truth.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-03-26
The Finest Train in the World.

The Finest Train in the World
The finest train IN the world is the
"New North Western Limited" which
leaves Minneapolis and st. Paul every
night for Chicago, via the Northwestern
line. This magnificent train, from the
mammoth engine, patterned after the fa-
nous 1889" to the last car in the train,
is brand new, and represents the latest
and best ideas for absolute comfort and
luxury while travelling.
Besides the splendid buffet library car
really clubroom on wheels, there is a
magnificent private compartment sleep
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-03-26

They are having two fires day
at Clancy. No wonder the people of
Lump City couldn't hold the post
Office at their end of the line. AT
her present rate of fuss and fires
Clancy will soon become town of
the second class.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-03-26

The merchants of New Bedford.
Mass, are refusing credit to the
strikers, and as state aid and soup
house contributions have been cut
off, it seems to threaten literal starv-
alton unless the strikers yield.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-03-26
Vast Possibilities.

MI. Perry Patettic had been listening
in languid way to the street corner
temperance lecturer ) vehement oratory
IF guy, said he i'll honest ad-
miration, kin talk blue streak like
that on nuthin but wotter, what
couldn't be do on boozer'-Cincinnat
Enquirer.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-03-26
She Had One.

Said the married man who likes to be
sympathized for, "My wife is never
happy unless she has grievance. -
"How happy she must be-" said the
pretty girl. And then the married man
grew strangely silent. En-
Uuirer
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-03-26
Accent Went With Them

Fanny wonder where Mr.. Reggie
gets his lovely English accent. He's all
American born
Queenie-Why heard he bought
his teeth in London
Fanny-How clever of him !-Phila.
delphia Call.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-03-26

The Anaconda Standard thinks
the Amazonas must be some kind Of
a woman-of- II this is true she
should be an adept at knocking out
an ordinary maR-sf-war.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-03-26

"Alas!" sighed the oyster, as he felt
himself being conveyed from the plate
on the end of the table knife. Alas!
This is an end to all my hopes of get
ting into good society. ."-Indianapolis
Journal
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-03-26

You here again." said the man of
the house. There's no excuse for such
fellows as you. This is "A year of pros
perity.
Yes, sir, - humbly responded Tuffold
knutt, drawing the back Of his hand
across his nose, 'but I'm one o. these
fellers that cant stand prosperity. -
Chicago Tribune.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-03-26
On the Dressed Kid.

Nearsighted Relative-Wouldn't it
be better, dear, to remove your gloves
before we sit down to dinner!
Little Niece (from the suburbs)-
That isn't gloves auntie. That's tam
Chicago Tribune.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-03-26

Secretary Gage is still talking for
gold and the indianapolis plan.
And now it is observed that when
men are rated as to ability in con-
tinuous speech, there are some who
can talk louder and longer than a
populist.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-03-26
Knows His Business.

N'It does Aunt Lucinda SO much good
to 60 to new doctorr'
Why"
"He always hunts up new disease
for her. "-Chicago Record.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-03-26
Long and Short of LII.

A Georgia editor, in describing a
man who had skipped with the town
funds, informs us that she is feet
tall, +" then, in the next line, that he is
$40, 900 short. Atlanta Constitution.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-03-26

Willie-Pa, did Noah take bees into
the ark!
Pa-Why, Of course, l suppose. Did
you never hear of the archiyesy-Phila-
delphia Record.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-03-26
A EeaR.

Il cannot help admiring Miss Pas
seigh's complexion, remarked Willie
Washington
am very much afraid rejoined
Miss Cayenne, that you are drifting
into the vulgar habit Of Judging things
by what they cost. Washington
Star
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-03-26
Ample Grounds.

Eyes" said De Auber, II am firmly
welded to my art
WELL" replied his friend, "art
might get divorce OH the grounds Of
lncompatibility. "--Chicago News.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-03-26
NEIHART, MONTANA, MARCH 26, 1898.
The Poem That Lincoln Loved.

The Poem That Lincoln Loved.
Oh Why should the spirit Of mortal be
prouds
Like a swift fitting meteor, fast flying
cloud.
The flash Of the lightning, the break of
the wave,
Man passes from life to his rest in the
grave.
The leaves of the oak and the maple
shall fade
BE scattered around and together he laid.
And the young and the old and the low
and the high
Shall moulder to dust and together shall
lie.
The infant a mother attended and loved,
The mother that infants affection who
proved,
The husband that mother and infant who
blest,
Each, all are away to their dwelling of
rest.
The maid on whose cheek, on whose
brow, in whose eye
Shone beauty and pleasure, her triumphs
are by
And the memory of those who loved her
and praised
Are alike from the minds of the living
erased.
The hand of the king that the scepter
hath borne,
The brow of the priest that the miter
hath worn,
brave
Are hidden and lost in the depths of the
grave.
The peasant whose lot was to sow and to
reap;
The herdsman who climbed with his
goats up the steep,
The beggar who wandered in search of
his bread,
Have faded away like the grass TINT we
tread.
The saint who enjoyed the communion
of heaven,
The sinner who dared to remain unfor-
given.
The wise and the foolish, the guilty and
just,
Have quietly mingled their bones in the
dust.
so the multitude goes like the flower or
the weed
That wither away to let others succeed;
So the multitude comes, even those we
behold,
70 repeat every tale that has often been
told.
For, we are the same that our fathers
have been;
We see the same sights that our fathers
have seen;
We drink the same stream and view the
same sun,
And run the same course that our fathers
have run.
The thoughts we are thinking our faith
ers would think.
Frsm the death we are shrinking our
lNtilerS WoUIu Silflnk.
TO the life we are clinging they also
would cling,
But it speeds from us all like bird on
the wing.
They loved, but the story we cannot un-
fold;
They scorncd, but the heart of the
naughty is cold;
They grieved, but no wall from their
slumbcr will come;
They joyed, but the tongue of their
gladness is dumb.
They died, aye they died. We things
that are now,
That walk on the turf that lies over
their brow,
And make in their dwellings transient
abode,
Meet the things that they met on their
pilgrimage road.
Yea, hope and dependency, pleasure
and pain,
Are mingled together in sunshine and
rain;
And the smile and the tear, the song
and the dirge,
Still follow each other like surge upon
surge.
'ris the wink of an eye, It's the draught
of breath
From the blossoms Of health 10 the pale
ness Of death,
From the gilded saloon to the bier and
the shroud--
Oh. Why should the spirit of mortal he
proud.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-03-26
The Three Donx.

Three ehappies there were Of the Bronx
Who some geese once perceived with loud honx
squawked the biggest who knowsi
Their brains, l suppows,
Are smaller by far than their oonx.'
-Ssw York Press.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-03-26
His Regular Stock In Trade.

The Poet-My angel! My guiding
star, the light of my
The Lady-Oh, please don t talk shopi
journal.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-03-26
A Bachelors View.

Patch-Why is the bride crying? Be-
cause she leaves her parents?
Bateh-Oh, guess not. She likes the
bridegroom, and guess she feels sorry
for him. New York Journal.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-03-26
Making Light OF vital Questions.

"You blawsted Americans take hu.
morous view Of everything
Yes. That's why we call our serv-
ants help. "-Indianapolis Journal.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-03-26
The WAY 1t Works.

cage, remarked the observer Of men
and things, makes us wise and others
obstinate. detroit Journal.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-03-26

Gladstone is at Hawarden, Eng,
in critical state of health.
Kid Mccoy defeats Dick Bobby,
at Springfield, O., in l minute 10
seconds.
The prison board of Michigan let's
u contract for the service of 300
prisoners for term of 10 years.
The Birmingham Gazette asserts
a Russian spy in the guise of a
footman, has been discovered at
Hatfield, the Marquis of Salisbury's
residence.
A terrible explosion took place
in the Santa Isabel mine at Belmez,
Providence of Cordoya. Sixty
corpses have already been recovered
and many men are yet unaccounted
for.
The bark Helen w. Almy is
found bottom upward at the mouth
of the Golden Gate, Cal. She car
ried y passengers and crew of 13.
The bark was bound for Copper
river points.
The executive committee of the
international mining congress met
in Salt Lake City last Saturday and
issued an official call for the con
gress to assemble in that city for a
four days session beginning on July
|6.
Joseph Bailey of Texas, demo-
cratic leader in the house of repre-
sentatives, will be candidate for
the speakership of that body next
session. He thinks his chances for
success are good. He believes free
silver will win in 1900.
The house committee on coinage,
weights and measures has favorably
reported to the house resolution
authorizing the secretary of the
treasury to make experiments to de-
termine the best material for minor
coinage and to submit new designs
for coins to congress.
Secretary Hester of the New Or
leans cotton exchange, reports that
during the six months and eighteen
days of the current cotton season
more cotton has been marketed than
has ever been moved in any year
known to the history of the trade.
There have been brought into sight
9,975, 600 bales, or over 100000
bales more than last year at this
time.
The Belt Baseball club held a
meeting last Friday and elected
officers for the '9S season. Henry
Murphy was elected manager, John
Mcclure captain, aud J. X. Castner
treasurer. The club will immedi-
ately proceed to enclose a ground,
whether on Island Park or in the
field north of town has not been full
ly decided. They will put up a
commodius grand stand, build "a
quarter of a mile cinder bicycle
track and l00-yard sprinting way.
Citizens are contributing literally.
The enclosed ground, grand stand,
etc, are assured, and Belt will have
as fine ground for field sports as
there is in Montana. When the
season opens and the boys have the
ground enclosed, so that an admiss-
ion price to the games can be charg-
ed, inducements will be offered to
Butte, Anaconda, Missoula and 9TH
er mines throughout the state TO
come to Belt and play.
A glance at the timber in the
Belt club will put fear in the hearts
of even the Great Anacondas, and is
very good evidence that the coal
diggers have every reason to be
hopeful, as they are that they can
win the seasons championship. The
following well-known players are
with the club: Haskell, King, Dom
oboe, Grimes, Maye, Tireslin, j. Me-
Guire, B. Mcclure and other we'll
known players. .-Anaconda Stand
ard.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-03-26
General News.

Gebo, Mont, is to have large
Touring mill.
The Houston daily post. [volume] (Houston, Tex.) 1886-1903, 1898-11-23
CORBETT's THINK.
Says He Would HIVE Beaten
Shurkey.

Jim Corbstt sall; Il think that
those who saw the fight win agree
that had Sharkey whipped and
would have had the decision In an
olEer round or two. | didn't want 10
win fight on n foul and Il was my
misfortune hat McVey Jumped into
the ring to call the referees az
tenl'on to sharkey's foul fighting.
"He did fight foul. He hit me low
oEce in the second roual AMI again
in the seventh. lid MT sea M:Yeg
jump into the ring, My bark was
turned to him and when KEY said.
You WIN I thought be meant me,
because | had away the best 81 Il.
After realizsd that the decision
was against me. offered 10 fight
IT. out with him then ana there, but
he walked away. | did too much
drawing out. | ought 10 haze gone
right after my man and whipped
him In four rounds.
well. can't talk. only hope
the next time the other mans Sec
onds will jump into the ring. I
VIII leave the difference 10 those
who saw the fight"
The Houston daily post. [volume] (Houston, Tex.) 1886-1903, 1898-11-23

Was q put up lob. and ! tell YOU II never was
OH tho square. -
''Ntat viii you do In regard to any chai.
iease that .sharkcy or corbctt may send IN
your directiong"
~ said ritssimmons. with great scorn,
III do nothing I'll pay no attention TO
either one of them. They have put themselves
frr'her away from any attention from mo
than ever. Let them no aud get 4 reputA-
ton There's Peter Maternity don't they
take him on a little, l won't pay any attcn-
uon to them. Let them 10 lick somcbody aud
get a reputation.
how went on the champion. warming 10 his
subject. 1T amt or the SQUARE. There Ia only
ons honest fighter In the world anyhow and
his name Is Robert Fitssimmous.''
Fitssimmons was full OF disgust over tho
ending OF tho fight and declared over and over
that II was Job and mot on the level
Jimmy Barry merely remarked; ITS too
bad. The big fellows are killing the game