Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1898-02-24
i!6lE||||||illI||(ll|!||lk


to see the chaj"Jess wheel?-Puck.
He-Yes. loved girl once, and she
made fool Of me. She-Some girls
do make a lasting impression. don't
they Judge.
She--Don't you think there should be
music in every home? He-By all
means! What object to Is music next
door.-Tit-B
"Lend me dollar. old man." Cant;
only have half" That's all right;
you can owe me the other half
Princeton Tiger.
Bertha-Miss Spitcuris says she has
remained single from choice. Belle
Yes; but she didn't say whose choice
Yonkers Statesman.
She-Your friend Owen seems to
have run into debt pretty deep. He
Run into debt? He scorched.-Pear-
sons Athletic Record.
"Yes. SIR, L want to marry your
niece" "JI.ve you asked her mother"
mo, sir, = prefer the younger LADY,
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Hell love you with all my heart.
She-That's very nice, but-but- He
But what. darling? She-What about
your arms ?-Chicago News.
The artist (complacently)-Thi pic
ture with the frame is worth $50 His
friend-Come, old man. you never gave
$500 for that rame?-Truth.
Jenkins-I wonder how 1t happens
that Miss Kidd is always out when
call? Jones-Oh! just her luck, guess.
Browning, King & Co.'s Monthly.
Young Softleigh-Do you know, Miss
Cutting, that l actually believe ! am
losing my mind? Miss Cutting-Indeed!
Why. how can you tell?-Chicago
News.
"How did Fllmgllt get richY by
his shrewd speculation" And how did
Fucash happen to lose his property"
"Oh. he went and dabbled In stocks
Washington Star. -tr
He-Give me kiss. She decidedly
Il won't. He-You shouldn't say Il
won't" to me; you should have said, Il
prefer not" She-But that wouldn't be
true-Harlem Life.
"One of the leading Czechs rejoices
IN the name Of Czwrczek." Say. 1
recognize that. It's the machine the
dentist boEes out the cavity with
Clevland Plain Dealer.
Tommy-Paw, what is an extraordin-
airy session of the Legislature? Mr..
Figg-One in which no fool bills We're
passed would be very much that kind.
indianapolis Journal.
allow would you define a patriot?"
II should say patriot Is man who
takes an interest in his country's well
fare, even the morning after his party
has been showed under."-Puck.
He-when l was young decided to
make one woman happy. She-WeH.
as YOU have remained a bachelor you
may certainly flatter yourself that you
have done so.-London Home News.
Edlth-Do you think it wrong to say
darn Bertha-Perhaps not; but
when one is vexed, instead of saying
darn" / think it more ladylike simply
to knit ones brow.-Boston Transcript.
Hell notice that the scientists have
some hope Of being able to communi-
cate with the moon. She-Good 'gra-
cious me. hope the man in the moon
Is no MISUNDERSTANDING Journal.
You're late, young man. What's the
reasonY Had a toothache." ''Ah!
has the tooth stopped achingT' Dun
no." What? Don't know! Why don't
you know ~ cause it's pulled"
Impassioned crator-A man should
never forget the duty he owes his
country. Auditor (sotto voce)-We
won't-at least, not while there are Gus
toms inspectors left.-New York Jour-
nal.
what is your first step In writing a
playy asked the reporter. Il look
around" replied the great playwright,
land find good carpenter to collabor-
ate with e."-Phlladelphia North
American.
Smith-After trying for ten long
wears, l have at last succeeded In con-
vincing my wife that l am perfect.
Brown-Are you sure of it? Smth-Of
course am. 1t was only this morning
that she said / was perfect idiot
Chicago News.
You will marry a tall, dark gentle
man." said the fortune teller, examin-
ing the lines in the fair hand. That
doesn't help me any," despairingly re-
piled the lovely blonde who had called
to consult her. "All six of them are tall,
dark entlemen!'-Chicago Tribune.
ut has been asserted that kissing
cures dyspepsia" remarked Mr.. Gas
well. THAT should be valuable knowl-
edge for newly married man." replied
Mr.. Dukane. "WhyY' with his wife's
kisses he can counteract the effect of
her cooking. "-Pittsburg Chronicle-Tel-
egraph.
Impatient customer thought you
advertised quick lunches. I've been
waiting for mine for nearly half an
hour. Waiter-It do take a little time
to git 'em up boss. but it'll go quick
enough after you gifts 1t. Dey amt de
kind dat last long.-Cinclnnati En-
quirer.
Il had an adventure the other even
ing" said Miss Autumn to nelghbor
on whom she was calling. 1T was quite
dark, and l saw a strange man Just
ahead of me, and ran until was
nearly exhausted" and did the man