Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1898-03-04
HE NEVER LIED.

A good natured but rich old virtuoso
called upon me one morning and intro
duced himself. / asked him if | could do
anything for him, and be said he hoped
60, but I could perhaps tell better after he
made his proposition. He wanted me to
find for him a man who had never lied.
II presume" said /, you insist upon
an 'out and outer'-that is, one who never
told even the slightest lib, either in joke
or in an inn ocenr, philosophical manner"
Eyes, sir, # he replied, Il want tho gen.
uine article. You shall have a reasonable
time, and your remuneration shall be
commensurate with the Importance Of the
undertaking"
After a few moro remarks between us
my customer withdrew. / had bound my
self to find a mar who had never told q lie.
At last, after spending time, money and
health without tho remotest symptom Of
success, / began to feel strong suicidal
tendencies. The thought of failure was a
terrible one to bear, and my blood ran
cold and my heart sank within me as I
pictured myself cast forever and irrevoca-
bly, down from the high position which I
now held In the eyes of the world as the
result of my former successes. I really
felt that there was but one way for me to
realize the expectations Of my customer,
and that was to get married and raise and
educate a man "to order" But this
scheme bristled with SO many difficulties
not the least of which was that Of time
that l was constrained to abandon the
idea. Drowning nan as l was, I let that
straw go by. Return I must, empty hand
oI and ,,,nrfiAal L,,< oc tbo,,c ro.,o ,,,o,,r,
miles between us / eagerly embraced the
faint, the very faint, hope that I might
wiring from fate that to which my zeal and
perseverance had entitled me.
I was within about a weeks journey
from home. Dark indeed had been my re-
turning pain, and now the deepest gloom
weighed down my spirits. 1t seemed to
me that human nature was given up to
the sin of lying to a greater extent than l
ever dreamed Of. I made up my mind that
only in the realms of myth could I find a
man who could produce a clean and spot
less record as a votary Of truth.
But somebody has said that sit is always
darkest just before day" have the best
reason for subscribing to the perfect cor
rectness of that statement.
With that Understandable feeling, then, Of
triumphant Joy did l send off the follow
ing telegraphic dispatch to my friend, the
virtuoso:
complete fruition has crowned my
work. l ] have this day found the object of
my search. No doubt of its genuineness.
What shall / do with him?"
In a short time a response was returned,
in which, after being congratulated, I was
directed to bring my man to him, sparing
neither money nor influence for that pur.
pose.
l consulted with the gentleman in ques-
ton and obtained his assent to the propo-
sition. He was perfectly willing to go with
me, and he evlnced as much interest In
this novel business as either my customer
or myself.
found him comfortable apartments at
one of our best hotels, and sent for my
employer. He came without the least de-
lay.
"And SO, my dear fellow, you have
found him?"
II have" l replied. "But it was after
Q most arduous search" Il didn't confess
how desperate l had become, and how,
more by accident than by design, I came
across the man we wanted.) ~ was de-
termined to succeed, and have done so. /
could have brought you a great many men
with records from fair to middling, but l
knew you wanted nj pure and unadul-
terated, and such I was bound to furnish
you. This man has never told a lie, and l
give you the warranty founded upon the
strictest examination Of himself and his
antecedents. have the sworn testimony
of all his family and tho principle people
of the town in which he has lived all his
life. But I will not detain you from in.
terviewing your prize"
And after telling him where to find him
my delighted customer withdrew, while !
sought that rest which my long worked
and oyertired system required. I slept
that night as one covered with laurels.
I had a very early caller next morning
in my anxious customer. He quietly took
d seat beside me, wearing upon his face
the most ~curiously solemn expression l
ever saw on q human physiognomy. He
placed his hand upon my knee and looked
into my face. Pausing a moment, he said:
"What is the matter with that mani"
Nothing, I hope" said I, "to his dis
credit. He hasn't been lying to you, has
he!"
II think not, " said my visitor, and the
frozen face melted a little. "Why, sir, the
fellow s as dumb as an oyster!"
"That's correct" said 1. "And he has
been ever since he was born. Here" /
continued, suiting the action to the word,
sis the joint affidavit Of his father and
mother to that effect. He has never spo-
ken u word in his life. Ergo he has never
told a lie."
! had carefully left the back door open
for retreat in case Of necessity. But my
customer, instead Of showing any signs of
hostility, accepted the situation in a prompt
and proper spirit. He acknowledged that
I had done as directed, in furnishing him
with a man guiltless of ever uttering a
falsehood. But he did not feel that he was
at liberty to impose upon the kindness of
the subject by keeping him from his fam
lily. He was accordingly sent home, &C.
companied by our thanks, and with a
handsome purse from my customer. As
for myself, ! had no particular reason to
complain In any respect, and SO general
satisfaction marked the conclusion of the
whole Observation-Disclosures.
A People Who Cannot Make Fire.
The Papuans of the Malay coast Of New
Guinea are still in the most primitive