The age-herald., 1898-10-16
Club WorDeD Are
 Tbe Most Severe Critics.


 l one of the first.
 This note arrived the day before the | convention, and consternation reigned in the Brown household. Ladies for whom Mrs. Brown had written papers had always dunned her assiduously for them weeks in advance, and, depending on Mrs. Smith to do the same, she had 1 forgotten how soon the paper would be required. Three teas and a reception were booked for that day, and it was g o'clock at night before, surrounded by ] encyclopedias and other books of refer ence, she got to work at the Chinese missions. It was 1 o'clock before she re- tired, having completed 20 pages of a l closely written article breathing forth kgood things of the work done by the missionaries in the land of pigtails. I Mrs Brown is a humorist Besides her husband is one of the cleverest pro- fessonal testers in the country, while her youthful daughter has an apprecia- ton of the funny side of life that makes the conversation in the Brown house. hold far from solemn. Living in an at- mosphere of jocularity, it was very hard for Mrs. Brown to give her article on the missions of China the proper sedate- ness and earnestness for a missionary convention. Early in the evening she had sent an agonized telegram to Mrs. Smith asking her to take the paper and read it in the scheduled victims place. A prompt and decided negative was re- turned.
 "I'n start out in the morning and get some one to read it for me- said Mrs. Brown as she retired. There are lot of women on this street who are quite used to reading club papers. I've writ ten papers for some of them, and they can't very civilly refuse to read this one for me-"
 The morning found Mrs Brown mak- ing a round of the ladies in the neigh borhood known to have had experience on club or missionary platforms or a longing for such. It was remarkable, however, the number of engagements every woman was prepared to bring forward in support of her regret at not being able to obige Mrs Brown. Even little Frances Brown, moved to compassion by her mothers evident mental suffering, had volunteered to go across the way and interview Mrs. Dr. Creed, the wife of the clergyman, who was a connection by marriage of the | Browns. Mrs. Creed admitted having read many missionary papers in her day, but gave Frances a coolky and
 
 her mamma out of the dilemma. Possi- bly, Mrs. Creed was suspicious of the gravity of paper that came from the pen of the humorous Mrs. Brown. At any rate, Frances went home cynical and unsuccessful, declining to eat the cooky.
 At luncheon time Mrs. Brown came I home exhausted and despairing and dispatched Mary, the housemaid, to the l family physician, with a note request l ing "any sort of a dose that will put a l little courage into 9 forlorn woman who has to read a missionary paper." The | doctor, without a smile, returned. half a dozen pink lozenges with directions | that they were to be eaten at intervals of an hour.
 1 After having partaken of one of them l Mrs. Brown felt her courage rally and started off quite cheerfully to the con- vention, saying that she knew in all that gathering of lovely Christian wo- men there was sure to be one who, see- ing her anguish, would consent to read the paper. When she reached the church. she found it surrounded by car riages and the auditorium packed with people. There were many lovely Chris | tian women present, but none of them | was willing to read the Chinese mission l | paper.
 l Her faith in women sadly shattered, 1 Mrs. Brown sat near the door and ate another pink lozenge. Mrs. Smith bus tied up and shook hands. You must come right up front and sit near the pulpit" said she.
 q don't want to go up front, and I l just can't read paper before these wo- men," feebly protested the victim. Mrs. l Smith was too experienced worker on programme committees to heed this and ] chattered volubly on such topics as the weather and the health of the Brown family as she lightly drew Mrs. Brown to the front pew, where she seated her among a bevy of eyeglassed elderly la l dies each armed with a roll of manu- script.
 Whispering few words to the usher who hovered at the end of the pew, Mrs. Smith disappeared. Mrs. Brown felt that her fate was sealed, for the usher kept eying the newcomer suspiciously. 1 She felt sure that Mrs Smith had warm l ed the young woman to keep an eye on | her lest the writer of the paper on Chi nese missions should escape from the l church, as she had threatened to do. The first speech was from a real live missionary lady from Shanghai. l NOtnluS cOulu nave Deen worse, l sighed Mrs. Brown. 'She will catch me | in every mistake"
 There was a din in Mrs. Browns ears like unto the bombarding of Santiago l as the suave, elegantly gowned presi- | dent announced:
 we will now listen to paper on the condition of the Chinese mission field. It was prepared and will be read by that gifted writer, Mrs. William Henry Brown.''
 Mrs. Brown says that she was imme- diately stricken deaf, dumb and blind | for the first vague consciousness she had was of unrolling her paper on the platform. Down below the lavender plume in the hat of the missionary lady waved menacingly. It seemed to say, Make an error if you dare!"
 Far off and tremulous her voice sounded. She read with an eye upon l the audience and on the lookout for .