Mesa free press. [volume] (Mesa, Ariz.) 1892-1901, 1898-08-12
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Il guess I'll wed and settle down."
said Krupp. He welded, now he's set
Ting up.-Cornell Widow.
did you ever notice the expression
or the face Of the Venus de MiloY
"oh, yes; she looks all broke up
Truth.
some queer poetry has sprung up
out OF this Cuban affair."" eyes. Isn't
1t marvellous how war has been STAYED
or so Observation-Disclosures North
American.
Louise coaxed her mother for an
hour before she secured permission to
accept Mr.. Widderly's Christmas gift"
"WellT "And then he didn't send her
anything Chicago Record.
First Poet-I am going to have my
revenge upon the editor. Second Poet
How? First Poet Tin hoarse whis-
per)-I've sent to him poem, and I've
poisoned the gum ON the return enve-
lope.-London Fun.
Willie-Do grown people ever get
childish? Mamma-Yes; In old age.
Why? Willie-Cause when papa was
trying to find the electric bell last night
he hollered, Button, button, who's got
the button Y'-Judge.
"It is sad" murmured the Musing
Theorizer, ITO think that every man
has his price," "Yes," admitted the
Intensely Practical Worker, land 1t is
a sad fact that half the time he can't
get t."-Cincinnati Enquirer.
81 suppose classical music is all right
in it's place." said Maud. 'T'm sure 1t
is" replied Mamie; II don't care to lis
ten to it myself, but sometimes you
have to play it in order to get man
to go Observation-Disclosures Star.
want situation as errand boy, do
you? Well, can you tell me how far the
moon Is from the earth, ehY Boy
Well, guv'nor, don't know, but reck-
on 1t amt near enough to interfere with
me running errands." He got the job.
Eek.
Inventor-1'm working on an appli-
ance that will revolutionize things In
this country If succeed in perfecting
1t. Friend-That SO? What Is 1t? In
ventor-An air-brake that will stop a
grocery bill in half Its own length
Chicago News.
"She is very frigid In her manner"
remarked Willie Washington. "Per-
haps," was the reply, "but she has
heart Of gold" $50 have been In
formed. But I am tired of trying to
cross conversational Chilkoot Pass
In order to, reach it."-Washington Star.
A countryman walked into news
paper Office to advertise the death Of
relative. 'What Is your charger" he
asked of the clerk. 'We charge two
dollars per inch" "Ohp' said the coun-
tryman, II can't afford that; my
friend was six feet three inches. It'd
Bits.
A vindication: "Have you anything
to say? asked the sheriff, as he strap
ped the murderer in the electric chair.
81 just want to point out what fools
those people were who said I was born
to be hanged" replied the criminal,
with a smile Of triumph. Philadelphia
North American.
Manager-Look here, Mr.. Plotz, / be-
lieye in realism; but don't think 1t Is
necessary to carry it to such extremes.
Author-Wh Is that2 Manager
Why, in the second act Of this new
play Of yours the servant Is required to
break fifty dollars worth Of bric-a-
brac every night!-Puck.
Brother Goodman-Ah, it grieves me
to hear Of Brother Hunker's death. We
can Ill afford to lose such men. Dea-
con Kinders-It Is a great loss, but let
us take it philosophically. His widow
will now probably furnish the memo
rial window that we need to complete
our set.-Cleveland Leader.
IT wonder what the reason Of mans
natural aversion to shopping is" he
remarked, as his wife, with a srown,
inspected some purchases he haA made
for her. cit Is a wise provision 0f ma
ture," she answered, with a sigh; 1T
prevents a great deal of good money
from being wasted" = Washington
Star.
A Glens Falls teacher was trying to
impress on the class the lessons of
Washington's birthday, and among
other questions she asked: IF the
Southern Confederacy had succeeded,
what would Washington have been the
father off, Twins" was the prompt
reply Of one of the boys.-New York
Tribune. 4
"You have called me a liar" shouted