davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Virginia gazette. [volume] (Williamsburg, Va.) 1893-192?, 1898-07-09
OUR BUDGET OF HUMOR.
LAucHrsR.PRovoKlNc STORIES FOR
LOVERS or FUN.

she was--A ous-tion-Must STAY I'm the
Air - Undoubtedly - Game with a
Shock-A Gsniu--Dne wife Too Many
lastly Arranged-fRir Warning. Etc.
He met her in the hallway dark
And very promptly kissed her;
Then answered 20 her naughty glance.
Il thought you We're my sister"
He found that night that no was right.
Kiss love alas had missed her
For when ne asked her for her hand
She said she Il Doe a sister
brooklyn Life.
Virginia gazette. [volume] (Williamsburg, Va.) 1893-192?, 1898-07-09

popular and efficient
taan Max Il. ID 2vics.
first sergeant % Co. p.
lie has been a resi-
lent 81 Detroit for the
past six years and his
horne Is ar fI6 Third
Avenue. For four wears
he was connected with
the well known whole
sale drug hou-e 90 Far
rand Williams X Glars.
ia the capacity % BOOK
Keeper.
II have charged up
many thousand orders
for Dr Williams Pins
Pills for Pale People.
.ail Mr.. Davies "hut
Virginia gazette. [volume] (Williamsburg, Va.) 1893-192?, 1898-07-09

~chlrN' Tribute TO Lieutenant Hon>nu-
Commodore Schley has paid the
following tribute 20 the valor of Lieu
tenant HObSon and the crew of the
collier Merrimae: History does not
record an act OF finer heroism- !
watched the Nrrrimac AS she made her
way tD the entrances Of the harbor.
and my heart sank as I saw the perfect
he'll 0f fire that fell upon those de
voted men, iil not think 1t possi-
ble one a them could have gone
through DO alive They went into the
saws of DEATH II was Balakiava over
again. without the means of defense
whirl the Light Brigade had Hob
son Tea a foriorn hope without the
power 90 cut his way out. Bat for
tame once me ere favored the brave. and
Z hope hsWill have the Recognition aud
promotion be deserves. His name Will
live as long rs the heroes of the world
are remembered - New York Com.
merciai Advertiser.
Virginia gazette. [volume] (Williamsburg, Va.) 1893-192?, 1898-07-09
Fr,nininr Xirw of II.

Mrs. Diggs-''I was too Ill 20 -
tend the Woodbe- Uperton wedding.
Were yon thereg"
Mrs. Biggs-"Yes, indeed.
Mrs. Diggs-"And what did you
think of the presents? The papers
praised them very highly"
Mrs Biggs-"They were just TOO
lovely for anything. DO wonder Of
what firm they rented them. Chicago
News
Virginia gazette. [volume] (Williamsburg, Va.) 1893-192?, 1898-07-09

Mrs. lntrale Where is vour
father"
Adult Sou-"Hc is 40 the store, ed
iting his edition OF Society as l Have
Found It, '"
Mrs. Infrade- what? \ book -
Son-'Ies; a ledger. full Of unpaid
and uncollectable bills. New York
Weekly.
Virginia gazette. [volume] (Williamsburg, Va.) 1893-192?, 1898-07-09
POPULAR SCIENCE

Como. the birthplace OF Alessandro
Volta. is about o. celebrate the cente-
nary 90 the invention oi the voitalc
battery.
some Psychologists suppose tnat
electric shocks produce death by
asphvXa. others shat the heart Is SUD
deuiv paralvzed.
a diamond iu constant use for clt-
tirr cold glass lasts about three
months. bur II used 90 cat hot glass.
10 would oniv last for one day
The dow ~ water over Niagara
Falls ls estimated at Die. 600 cubic
feet per second. which is equal %
1.-a3.a $3.50 Gallons. weighing 16.433.-
90 rounds
Nv Nr.,,-,,s .s-r .-,n will throw n
..... - ~. .....,-a.sel On. cotton five,
,.r.s ,,;.b .he .r..+ of destrovinr
....,--.i.i,.- of,,- within the srace az
1aa oa- s..+ ~ ,,r.~, E. Sails
.,.... .-.-....,7
....,.- .......
Virginia gazette. [volume] (Williamsburg, Va.) 1893-192?, 1898-07-09

An English bishop, - be was going
abou, his diocese asked the porter of
q luuatic asylum how q chaplain whom
be. the bishop, lad lately appointed.
was getting ou.
80, my lord, said the man. "hs
preaching is most successful The
hidiots heniovs &c particular. '-
Ladies Home journal.
Virginia gazette. [volume] (Williamsburg, Va.) 1893-192?, 1898-07-09
IN Up-to-Dase burglar.

Leave the house. cried little
Binks, making brave bluf OF
strength to the burglar.
II intend -, my small friend, re-
piled the burglar, c0urteously. Il
am merely after the contents When
Z take houses / 10 il through tie
regular real estate channels. "-Har-
per HaZar
Virginia gazette. [volume] (Williamsburg, Va.) 1893-192?, 1898-07-09

Prom. 0.s Detroit (SficA.5 journal
The promptnesS with which the Nationai
Guard % the different states responded 70
President McKini~ys call for troops n; the
beginning OF the war with spain made the
waole country proud OF it, citizen soldiers.
Ia Detroit there are few guarJsmen more
Virginia gazette. [volume] (Williamsburg, Va.) 1893-192?, 1898-07-09

his best dress on him and curl his
sweet little hair before the firerlen
carried them ont. Cincinnati. En-
duirer.
Virginia gazette. [volume] (Williamsburg, Va.) 1893-192?, 1898-07-09

"Ch, did you bear about Mrs
Marbles baby almost getting burned
alive IN the fire at their houses"
Good graciousl No IS it pos
sible:'
"Yes. She only had time TO get
Virginia gazette. [volume] (Williamsburg, Va.) 1893-192?, 1898-07-09

or course YOU can't hir anything with
q 'l3-nch gun. Jut think Of the noise
they makel
Virginia gazette. [volume] (Williamsburg, Va.) 1893-192?, 1898-07-09

The irst European book that even
appeared in the Japanese language
was translation Of Heine's Germa1
songs.
Virginia gazette. [volume] (Williamsburg, Va.) 1893-192?, 1898-07-09

.eflc. ful GO fc. nerve and vicor. take No-To-
aac. t.le wonecr- worker. tlat makes weak men
lrcns. AZ DRUGS SIS. -ec &c "a. Cure EuaraD-
ct4 Booklet aul sample free Address
Virginia gazette. [volume] (Williamsburg, Va.) 1893-192?, 1898-07-09

First Critic-"There is no excuse
for that man trying 20 play Hamlet.
Second Critic yes, there IS
Hes getting paid for IT, Puck.
Virginia gazette. [volume] (Williamsburg, Va.) 1893-192?, 1898-07-09
Learned II.

He-"Do you know there Is n trick
in riding "a wheel:"
She -"Of course I do, I tumbled
first thing Detroit Free Press.
Virginia gazette. [volume] (Williamsburg, Va.) 1893-192?, 1898-07-09

4 wonder Why 1t is sail that
rumors fv<'
We'll they usually have no ground
20 stard on '-DetrOi, Free Press.
Virginia gazette. [volume] (Williamsburg, Va.) 1893-192?, 1898-07-09

Mr. Wiu-low'- Soothing Syrup fo- children
fecthluE. ~oIten~ l4c gums. gees. t .n- inlaniula-
-ou. all.!s 4--l c4rc5 ~ l4 coke la bolllc.
Virginia gazette. [volume] (Williamsburg, Va.) 1893-192?, 1898-07-09

Ivtrv naD is valued iu tnl- world as ne
.loO- bv hl~ conduct le wishes % te
.a.Ii,-l 8ruN-rr
Virginia gazette. [volume] (Williamsburg, Va.) 1893-192?, 1898-07-09

rh~ first irintlr press lu The United
States was introduced in l629-
Virginia gazette. [volume] (Williamsburg, Va.) 1893-192?, 1898-07-09

Guaranteed tobacco naoit cure ula@e~ wens
men ssroAs. o.cou iu4- N.r - Ala arus4sS.s
Virginia gazette. [volume] (Williamsburg, Va.) 1893-192?, 1898-07-09

TO Cur~ Con-tilsaSi.n orev~r.
Take CascarrfS Cauuv C..Il4rt.l Toe c~ &c
=. a.. g.. e.. f-.l to cure dru--s.i- r, fuad tl,t,s
The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1898-04-30
UNIVERSITY CLUBS SMOKER.
Won't Build y Ciubl,ouse ~ Presenf
for Many Reasons.

Members Of the University Club met
last night at Taylor's Hotel, principally
for the purpose of hearing a report of the
committee to consider the feasibility Of
renting q ~ubhous and furnishing it for
the convenience of the club, but they
turned a business affair into a very pleas
ant social event.
The committee reported that though
heartily in favor of everything calculated
to advance the interests of the club. and
satisfied that the establishment of a club
house would be highly beneficial to its
welfare, the unsettled condition Of affairs
at the present time was unpropitious for
entering upon any enterprise, and there
fore recommended that the matter for
the present be tabled. This was adopted.
An address was delivered by Mr.. Mar
Crane Cox, formerly United States Min
| lister to Guatemala and Honduras, who
| humorously referred to the fact of a stu
| dent of Yale being at large in the home
| of the Princetons.
Addresses were also made by School Su-
p~erintendent Henry Snyder and Counsel
| Tor Otto Grouse. The speeches were all
on the subject of organization, advocating
uniting together in associations, and re-
counting the benefits. both socially and
mentally, to be derived therefrom.
Vocal and instrumental music, college
songs, with piano accompaniment, by Mr..
| w. c.. Wait of H~asbrouck's, took place
| after the speeches, and then followed a
| collation.. Mr.. Flavel McGee presided, and
in his customary felicitous style made the
opening address,. Secretary w. P. Atkin-
son sans Kipling's ssMandalay.'' About
The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1898-04-30
THE ACADEMY'5 FUTURE.
viii Conffnue = observation-disclosures
finder the Hrndersons

The regular season at the Academy of
Music, this city, practically closed last
Saturday evening. The attraction which
has been running all this week, although
under the management of the house, is
not included in the regular season. After
tonight Manager Frank Henderson will
turn the house over to the care of Mr..
]. H. Sackett. of Philadelphia, who will
produce vaudeville shows h present
management will nave nothing to do with
the coming productions and all Of the
regular employees will be paid off tonight
for the season.
Some rumors had it that the present
management would not run the house
next season, but this Mr.. Frank Hender-
son says is not SO. To a News" report
err, today, he said that the house would
be run under the same old management
next year.
w nave had a fairly prosperous sea-
son. Mr.. Henderson said, land from the
accounts received from many other the
aires, I think this house has done much
better than the average. The trouble
this season wasAthe lack of good attrac-
tons, and we were forced to put on many
plays that we should not have had if
better ones were available. The theatre
season will open again about the latter
part of September, and It will be under
precisely the same management and run
on the same plan n We will endeavor
to provide better attractions for our pa
irons than those which were presented
this season. I think hat the coming
theatre season will be more prosperous
than this has been if reports are to be
believed"
This coming season will be the fifteenth
under the Henderson management. This
old theatre has indeed had a prosperous
career and it will no doubt remain under
the Henderson management for some
time to come. The theatre will be thor
oughly renovated when Mr.. Sackett's sea-
son ends and put in good condition for
the opening performance. which will
probably take place OF Labor Day.
The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1898-04-30
AN EVENING WITH DICKENS.
David Copperf-ld unprecedented by
Park Reformed Members.

The Ladies Fund Society of the Park
Reformed Church last night celebrated
its thirty-third anniversary by giving an
entertainment entitled An Evening With
Dickens" consisting of reading selections
from the famous English author, which
were Illustrated by living tableaux. The
readings embraced the principal features
of the story of David Copperfield, from
his early boyhood days up to his mar
riage to his child-wife. Three boys inn
p~ersonated David Copperfield. Little
David was impersonated by Master
Baxter. the second David by John Will
liams, and the third David by mr.. Baxter.
The readings were by Miss Lillian J..
Lobden. Of Newark. who is a clever elo-
c~utionist. The various characters besides
David were represented as follows.-
Mrs. Copperfield, Mrs. Lewis; Peggotty,
Mrs. Clinton Smythe; Little Emily, Hazel
Snyder; Mr.. Murdstone, Mr.. Steward
Walker; Miss Murdstone. Mrs. Kimball;
Dan Pegotty, DR.. Barlow; Ham. B. $.
Garrison; Mrs. ~Grumnidge, Miss NJ.
Wiuans; Barkis. Mr.. Frank Frazer; Aunt
Betsy Trotwood, Miss Ennis; Mr.. Dick,
Mr. r. Brown; Stierforth. Mr.. Frank
Blume; Mr.. Creakle. Mr.. William Under
hill: Mrs. Crenkle, Miss Elizabeth Banta;
Miss Creakle, Miss Eta Meyers; Rose
Dartle, Miss Jeanette Brown; Traddles,
Mr.. Kyle, Jannet, Miss Hattie Doremus;
Miss Voucher, Miss NJ. Lacey; Mr.. Heep,
Mr.. r. Brown; Mrs. Heep, Miss Bertha
Meyers; Agnes Miss Violet Wands; Dora,
the child wife. Miss Allie Yearance; Julia
Mills, Miss Anna Banta; the MicaWper
family: Mr. Micawber, DR.. Kyle; Mrs.
Micawber, Mrs. Bressner; the Misses Mi
cawsber. Miss Julia BLIZZARD, Mrs. B. s.
Garrison, Miss May Lochen, Miss Belle
Kimbarch: Master Micawber, Willie
Pfeiffer;; the two twin children, Emma
Westbrook and May Brockman.
In addition to the readings and tableaux
Misses Minnie Blizzard. Emma Schelly,
Daisy Davis, Matte Spencer and Emma
Doelger went through some of the mo-
tions of the minuet as an accompaniment
to a recitation, entitled GRANDMOTHER"
and with Messrs. Roy Elston, Snyder.
Wilson n Kinbach gave an old-fash-
toned comb concert. Miss Brown accom-
panied the readings on the piano.
The committee in charge of the enter
tainment were Mrs. B. Garrison, Mrs.
Benedict, Mrs. Locker, Mrs. Hulshizer,
Miss Susie Benedict, Mrs. Simeon Smith,
Mrs. William Smith, Mrs. Jahonet, Mrs.
1nness and Mrs. Baxter.
The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1898-04-30
If


If you wish to learn the state o.
the weather. you must consult a
barometer.
If you wish to know the state Of
your health, your body is a natura'
barometer.
If you seem to lack energy. and
feel tired. there is something the mat
ter with your circulation.
If you are bilious, constipated,
dyspeptic. nervous, you need some
thing to tone up your digestive
organs.
II you feel a sudden cold or chill,
bear in mind it may lead 10 pneumonia.
If you feel any or all of these
symptoms. remember that
The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1898-04-30
4 TRUE CIT STORY.
Which Proves That This Much
Doubted Animal Feels
Real Affection.

There are many who would say that
cats feel no genuine affection, even for
those who have treated them kindly /:
but in my Judgment this opinion is
erroneous. An incident in my own life
proves to my own satisfaction that cats
do love those who treat them kindly,
and that in NJ small degree.
At about 6 or 7syears of age I came
into the possession of a gray kitten,
which soon became a treSalre to me. !
looked after Tom myself, gave him his
meals Notwithstanding, too, very
often, between nleals-and lavished up
on him all the affection ] could. Very
soon he showed an affection for me
which he bore to no other member of
the f~amily-in fact, on more than one
occasion he ran away from my brother,
| who was rather given to teasing him,
and came to me for protection.
] used to smuggle Tom to bed with
me and hide him under the blankets
| until I was satisfied no one would come
near me again for the night. Then
would I drag him forth in triumph
from his hiding place and hug him
closely to my breast, Tom showing his
appreciation by purring loudly and dill
! gently rubbing my neck and chin with
his soft cheek. To my sorrow it was
only once in a long while that l was
allowed this pleasure, as very often my
mother in her final look at me for the
night would spy my pet or hear him
49, o,5 +hon Tow would bo hapichod
from the room.
Sometimes. when particularly anx-
ious to be with me, he found a way to
manage it. During the night, if the
window was not open, he forced his
way through a pane of glass. and |
awoke to find him Nesting on the pill
low beside my cheek. This may sound
Incredible, but it is nevertheless true,
and I think that Tom must have felt a
deep love for me, or he would not have
been so eager to be with me. Of course
he did not do this sort of thing regular
", but I remember several occasions on
which he did SO. Every morning he Wis
tied me before I was out of bed, and we
generally had our breakfast together.
The school / attended was distant
about two miles. At first, though loath
to leave Tom behind, it never occurred
to me to take him with me. But after a
time he sometimes accompanied me, Ell
Their sitting on my shoulder or in my
arms or running along by my side.
During school hours he remained close
by, outside, in the woods. At intermis-
sion I sought him out and during the
dinner hour let him share my lunch.
When school was over, he accompanied
me home. But he had not the oppor-
tunity of doing this very long, because
when I was about 10 years old ] was
sent to a school about 30 miles away,
and then I saw Tom only about once in
three months. Our Animal Friends.
The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1898-04-30
LIVERyMEN ORGANIZE.
Together With the Undertake rs They
Form a C0unsy Association.

The second meeting of prominent livery
men and u~ndertakers from all parts of the
county was held last night at Henn's
Assembly Room, Newark avenue, and a
temporary organization effected. 1t will
be known as the Liverymen and Under
takers Association of Hudson County,
and will absorb the association heretofore
known as the North Hudson Liverymen
and Undertakers' Association. It's princi-
pal object, as set forth by the members.
is to secure a uniform schedule of prices
for coach hire to the cemeteries located in
various parts of the county.
At last nights meeting William N.
Parslow of Hoboken was elected tenn
porary president, and Anthony Volk, also
of Hoboken, was elected temporary secre-
tary. Election of permanent officers will
take place at the next meeting. At that
meeting the Committee on Constitution
and Bylaws will report. The committee
appointed at the first meeting to prepare
a uniform schedule reported last night.
The schedule, with a few changes, will
be adopted at the next meeting.
The schedule will fix the5price of coach
hire to residents of Jersey City south of
4 SttSCty dOl IN
cemeteries, at S.; north of Franklin street
and from Hoboken the price to those
cemeteries will be 81. For coach hire for
funerals at the local Jersey City ceme-
teries. price below Franklin street will
be 81 4 coach. For funerals at the same
cemeteries the price above Franklin street
! ana in Hoboken will be IS a coach. The
! price for coaches to cemeteries across the
Hudson will be reduced from 81 to SIS q
coach, and for funerals at the Newark
| cemeteries a reduction of from IS to s.
| a coach will be made.
In some instances undertakers furnish
ed coaches for less figures than those
above, but the lfverymen and undertakers
claim that where coaches were hired at
less than the above figures they made it
up dishonesty on other items Of funeral
expenses.
The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1898-04-30

BY Alderman Tracy and adopted
Resolved. That when this Board adjourn
1t will adjourn to meet at the Assembly
Chamber, City Hall, on Tuesday, April 70,
1895, at 8 o'clock p. NJ.
By Alderman Burns:-
Resolved, That a warrant be drawn on
the City Treasurer in favor Of Patrick
Naughton for the sum of s62,. being for
return of restaurant license fee depos-
tied by him with the City Clerk on the
18th inst. less advertising fees. of ~
cents, he. the said Naughton, not desiring
the said license.
The resolution was adopted by the fol-
lowing vote, the yeas and nay having
been ordered and taken, on the call OF
the President
Yeas-All the members present, nine
teen Q9) in number.
By Alderman Tracy
Whereas, The Act Of May IS, 1890, reg
ulating elections, imposes additional du-
ties upon the City Clerk, and by Section
SO thereof this Board is authorized 10 al
low therefor; and
Whereas, In our judgment u duties
have been faithfully performed; therefore
Resolved. That this Board deems that
the sum of $500 would be a fair compen-
sation and do hereby order that the said
sum be paid to M. J. O'Donnell. City
Clerk, for his services at the recent reg
1898.
Resolved, Thai warrants be ordered
drawn on the City Treasurer, in favor OF
the persons hereinafter named for the
sum of fifty dollars $500 each for extra
services Ie1iueTGu ny tutIu d. ltCSAt -
istry and election, March and April. 1898:
Thomas K. Halstead, N. E. Feury,
Thomas ]. Cummings and William H
Browning
The preamble and resolutions were
adopted by the following vote, the yeas
| and nays having been ordered and taken,
on the call of the President
Yeas-All the members present, nine
| teen Q9) in number.
On motion of Alderman Calnon the OBJ
l%ections presented on the nth inst from
His Honor the Mayor to approving reso-
luton authorizing the Inspector of Build
irgs TO issue a permit to J.. w. Greene TO
alter frame buildings in rear of BIG to 800
Grove street, etc, be taken from the table
| for consideration.
| Alderman Calnon moved .sTha the res
1 olution do now pass Notwithstanding the
objections OF His Honor the Mayor"
TheSmotion was adopted by the follow
ing Vote. the yeas and nays having been
ordered and taken on the call of the
President
Yeas-An the members present, nine
teen Q9) in number
On motion OF Alderman Moran the
Board then adjourned.
MICHAEL ]. O'DONNELL,
The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1898-04-30
HOMICIDE TRIALS.
Prosecutor Erwins Programme
for Clearing Up the Court
Calendars.

Prosecutor Erwin said this morning that
he will dispose Of the homicide cases be-
fore he takes up the Indictments against
the Board of Freeholders. He thinks
that he may probably move the Free
holders Indictments some time during
the next two weeks. He has not deter
mined yet whether he will move the
Noonan-Simpson case again during the
present term. The Prosecutor has sent
out this notice to members Of the barr
The Prosecutor. in order to prevent
the p-ostponement OF trials and for the
convenience of the Bar, desires to ar
range the business of the Office SO
that attorneys appearing for defend
ants may receive at least two. days
notice of the trial day. The trial lays
for criminal cases before a jury are
Mondays, Tuesdays and Wednesdays;
without a jury. Thursdays. Contest
ed motions In criminal cases are heard
on the last named day. Arrangements
will. SO far as the business permits.
be made in Mondays, 10 A. NJ. II you
appear in any criminal case and will
notify this office in writing, or cause
your name and address to be entered
in the office docket, you will receive
two days notice by postal Of the day
of trial.
The Prosecutor says that in the next
few days he will have disposed of all
Inc DuSiieSS ieit over py MS pIeuecSSsoi
and will start on cases which have come
up since he assumed Office. The Quaie
murder trial is set down for Monday. At
ter that joan McGlue will be tried for
killing James Scanlon in a hand to hand
~encounted they had in Halliday street,
on February 5. Then will come the trial
of Michael Leonard, who is accused Of
causing the death of Maria Colomier in
Congress street on February IS. James
]. Murphy has been assigned to the Court
to defend McGlue and George Ryerson
will defend Leonard.