The Wilmington daily Republican. (Wilmington, Del.) 1890-1902, 1898-01-10

AMOntana Divorces Suit
By W. L. ALDEN.

she went through here this morning."
said the Jericho station master. He's
the Athensville Baptist preacher, and
he's Oh his way to Chicago to give his
testimony in the great divorce suit.
What! l never told you about any di-
vorce suit? Well, you surprise me, for
that there divorce suit is just the big
gest thing of the kind we have ever had
In this section Of the country.
"That Baptist preacher hasn't any
thing to do with it except to swear that
he married the plaintiff and the defend
ant. There's nothing crooked about the
Rev. Mr.. Humphreys He's As good as
they MAKE 'em, though l say it myself,
and don't think much of Baptists as a
general thing, having been brought up
Methodist, though l resigned from
them when I was made conductor,
which is berth that man can't do
anything with unless he can swear a
blue streak when the occasion arises.
"This hyer preacher took charge of
the Athensville Baptist church matter
Of five years ago, and, being wonderful
man for managing church and max
ing it attractive to the general public,
it wasn't long before he had the largest
congregation Of any preacher in the
place. The Presbyterian minister felt
that he had to do something to main
tain his position, so he preached a Sc
ries Of sermons on baptism, proving, as
he thought, that sprinkling was the on
ly authorized way Of baptism, and that
immersion was all a mistake. In one of
his sermons he made a pretty good
point by showing that on one occasion
John the Baptist baptized so many peo-
pie in the course Of day that he must
have averaged three to the minute.
This, the preacher claimed, would have
been impossible If he had done it in any
other way than by sprinkling. Mr..
Humphreys only laughed when they
told him about this sermon and said,
Just wait till we have our regular
spring baptizing season. So the next
spring, when there were about 40 peo-
pie young and old waiting to Soin the
Baptists, Mr.. Humphreys, he takes the
whole lot down to the creek and i'm
merses every one of them in less than
ten minutes, breaking the record and
beating John the Baptist's best time.
This made him more popular than ever,
and that year the people built him n
new church twice as big as the old one.
It stands Oh the hill about mile ont
Of Athensville, for when it was built it
was cal 'lated that the town would grow
in that direction, which somehow it
hasn't done.
II tell this just to show what an en-
terprising man the parson was. He in
sisted Oh having the tallest steeple to
his new church that could be found
anywhere in Montana territory, and
b'gosh he got it. People used to come
from miles away to climb up in that
steeple and see the view. There wasn't
any view to speak of, the country being
too billy in those parts to have much
scenery, but for all that people were anx-
ious to say that they had been to the
top Of the steeple.
"There was an old maid in Mr..
Humphreys congregation who was
more determined to get married than
any woman you ever saw. She was one
Of those thin, persevering looking wo-
men, and mighty dangerous sort they
are. Miss Payson, which was this lady's
name, was bound to marry young man
by the name of Halsey, who had never
done her any harm and was about as
sensible and we'll behaved chap
uIB was in all Athensville. OF cour
ho didn't have the least idea Of marry
ing the woman, but he was one of those
good tempered chaps that are always
afraid to say no when a woman asks
them to do anything. Good temper is
the ruin of lots of folks. It's kept me
down. l know that. If I'd been one of
these crusty, rampageous fellows that
never do kind action if they can help
it, should have been superintendent
of this road instead of being only sta
ton master at one of the smallest sta
lions in the territory. Never you be too
good tempered. Of the two it ruins
more men than whisky
Zone day Miss Payson she gets young
Halsey to take her up in the steeple of
the Baptist church. You see, visitors
were always going up that steeple be-
tween the hours Of 10 and 8, during
which the sexton staid at the church to
attend to things and see that they
conducted themselves as they should.
At o'clock he locked up the door that
led to the steeple, and then he locked
up the church door and went home for
the night.
Miss Payson and her young man
went up the steeple about 8 O'Clock in
the afternoon, but she said she enjoyed
it SO much that Halsey was prevailed
upon to stay there with her good deal
later than he had intended to stay. She
kept him pointing out all the houses in
the town and every hill and valley in
the whole neighborhood, and when she
finally asked him to look at his watch
and tell her the time she was, as she
pretended, dreadfully alarmed to find
that it was half past s. Halsey ran
down the stairs and found that the door
was locked, and nobody was within
hearing. The sexton had forgotten that
there was any one up the steeple and
had locked up and gone home at
O'Clock, as usral. Halsey came back and
told Miss Payson, who burst into tears
and said that her reputation was ruin
ed. She and Halsey would have to
spend the night in the steeple unless he
was willing to jump out of the window
and break his neck. and she had rather
die q thousand times than let him do
that.
"Halsey was considerably scared him
self, for he saw that unless he could in
vent some way Of getting Miss Payson
out Of that steeple he would have to
marry her whether he wanted to or not.
He thought the matter over for awhile,
Miss Payson weeping her level best, and
resting her head in a forgetful sort of
way on his shoulder. Finally bright
idea struck him. There was the bell
rope, which was stout one inch manil-
Ia. Why shouldn't he lower Miss Pay
son to the ground with it, and then
slide down it HIMSELF"
HE explained his plan to the lady,
but she didG'e seem to like it. She said
she 1as sure the rope would break. or