The silver lance., 1898-03-18
Atchlson Globe Sights

AtchlSon Globe Sights
There are lots OF things to kick about
In a town OF this size.
Any man who goes in by the back door
to get drink Of whiskey, is in danger.
II is proposed to add 5000 miles OF
mountainous land to the Yellowstone
1t 10 surprising how many people there
are in every town who violate city ordi-
nances.
The wind is doing for Kansas mud this
week, what Uncle Sam did for DeLome
last week.
No wonder jury found Luetgert gull
ty: the final address Of his lawyer was
81 hours long.
At a recent whist party attended by
equal suffragists, the first prize was
moustache cup.
Whisky and the Kseley institute arc
advertised in tho same column in Kan
sas City paper.
Americans seldom praise each other.
and when they do, they overdo it. Abuse
Is the idea in this country.
It is a banks business to loan money;
IL bank won't loan you money. it is be-
cause your credit is not good.
We wonder that there are any deaths
in the United States, since Death 10
being worked to death in Cuba.
Times are 80 good in Kansas that poo
pie no longer consider it luxury to get
to ride to funeral in carriage.
Society is greatly shocked: . girl ap-
peared at a party recently. and left the
girl who is visiting her at home!
1t must be nice to be in Klondike, and
know that your troubles are Of tho kind
that could be melted by hot sun.
There are great many policastros in
Kansas. Policastro means "low politi-
cian," and threatens to become an Amer
ican word.
It is easy to be brave at the present
time: Talk war, and the women who
love you will imagine they see medals on
your breast.
The sight Of President Dole's whiskers
has turned US against the annexation Of
Hawaii. His whiskers look like those Of
PETER Of Kansas.
The latest scramble for honors Is being
made by people who claim to be the first
white child born in Kansas. This is .
contest in which no women enter.
Before giving up his charge and going
to another town, every minister should
give the balance due on his salary TO
Cuba. He will never get it anyway.
Ifyou fall down on some business mat
ter that you should have accomplished
look back and see il you cannot charge
it to your tendency to have a good time.
Tall1d about:thirty days Of quail! A
newly married man in town praised q
blueberry pie his wife made, and he 10
now meeting his thirtysecond blueberry
pie.
When a man succeeds in life he makes
very little out Of it, except lot Of hard
work. Sometimes q successful mans
wife does we'll, but successful man 10
usually overworked.
| II the town yDu live in is not what you
thing it should bc, remember that the
fault is partly yours. Not one man in .
hundred does as we'll as he might, il he
| put forth his best effort.
The women should be taught how to
hold their skirts up to keep them from
getting muddy. They either hold them
up 50 little they become mud soaked, or
30 high men turn their faces away and
scream.
| The editor Of . Lawrence paper re-
CARDS Quo Vadis" - moral book. In
Lawrence. mind you, where the girls re-
fuse to play with a boy who drinks.
smokes or chews! Still in "Quo Vadis, :"
a banquet was given at which tho women
wore nothing, not oven their hair down
their backs.