The times., 1898-02-04
THE WOES OF y CAB HORSE.
He Makes Confidant of Colonel
Struttiers

He Makes Il Confidant of Colonel
Struthers
Col. Bill Struthers and a select gang
of titled friends were holding talking
| bee against the bar of the National Ho-
tel last night. The theme de resistance
was horse Col Ctruthers was lead
ing the van in this conversational bout,
and after taking an observation of the
gilded ceiling through the bottom of his
glass and drawing his sleeve across his
lips. said:
Gentlemen, / was raised with horses.
In that epoc of my life which twinkled
with golden riches and before the late
war reduced my circumstances, / al
ways owned a horse"
The nose paint was passed around
once more and the ceiling was again in
spected Then, making another transit
of his mouth with a. frayed sleeve,
shifting his quid and splashing blot of
brown poison on the tiled floor, Col.
Struthers continued:
Yes. sir; ! always owned horse.
In this way | grew so familiar with
horses that 1 could not only talk horse
as fiuently as do those who know moth
ing of the subject but / could also
understand horse talk. The language
of the horse is an interesting study.
Many instructive interviews have had
with eminent horses, and many of the
eminent record breakers of the turf
have been intimate personal friends of
mine. The incident which | am about
To tell. happened like most other Incl
dents of which | ever heard. once upon
a time.
1T was near the dawn of another day.
II was long after that greWsome hour
when ghosts are said to bust their cere-
ments 70 revisit the phases of the moon.
The only holes in the darkness were
those pierced by the rays from all
night luncheries. The city slept under
a coyerlet of snow. and the only sound
that broke the spell of silence was the
creaking and the grinding of the signs
as the wind came through the streets in
fitful flaws. l yeL
"A lone cab horse was standing near
the curb His blanket had fallen to the
ground and chills We're playing tag
along his spine. l picked up this
blanket and buttoned il around the
throat OF the shiyering horse. Well. sir,
that horse neighed his thanks so long
and loud that I'm sure the tones of his
gratitude must have troubled the slum-
bers of the town. Then, in his peculiar
neighsal way he spoke as follows:
q oh, my if all the members of the
Endeavor had as big. four-leaf. double
loaded heart as yourn, I'd get fewer
coughs and cuffs and more oats and cur
ries than | get now. Kind sir, the most
treasured pictures that hang in the gal
lery of my memory are those that speak
to me of the green pastures of my colt
hood Although in my declining years.
/ am somewhat over. and "hipped.
have sustained some bad wind gals.
suffer from a chronic SPAWN and long
ago ground out my''cups:' yet, sir, when
my spirits were strong with youth and
bouyant with hope. there stood in stall
no mare or gelding that could impair
my vision with the roadway dust.
My family never designed me for
cab horse. 7 belonged to a fast set.
But despite my speed l never was
a successful race horse. l always ran
to win, and would not allow myself TO
be overwatered, or pulled and would
never permit my jock to foul. ] was
not considered, therefore. a reliable
race horse. Oh, how / used to revel in
the plaudits of the populace. How i
gloried in the howls of the paddock
gang and how I was nerved by the
fiutter of lace handkerchiefs that
danced in filmy folds from little gloved
hands away up in the grandstand.
But / don't like to dwell on them
memories now, because their very brill
liancy makes my present lot seem
darker and more sad. Before the out
law tracks were shut up l used to go
down there with race crowd, and
would agoniZe in the delicious pain of
reyisiting the scenes of my early tri-
umphs. There could see the familiar
colors I once knew so well. hear the
Well-known voices of the jocks, start in
spirit at the clangor of the bells and
listen as they called out the names
of the children of many of my dear old
stalImates and stable friends How
much. many times, have / wanted TO
break my traces and smash my trap.
dash into the track and tell those pant
ing horses that / knew their danes
and sires before they We're born. How
glad they would have been To see me.
and how they would have swabbed off
my neck with those tender caresses
for which / sigh and how they would
have bathed me in a warm flood of
liquid lickings.
II tell you. sir, the life of a re-
porter amt no tapioca, but it is pri-
vate secretaryship alongside of that of
a cab horse. When a reporter gets
sick. whether purposely or not the
ghost will walk all the same But if
| get sick it means work or worse
physic Medicine is another of the dis
advantages VI pciitiiS q ioioO' al wi
medicine is the same. 1t varies only
in its degree of untakableneSs. If /
get windgall, l,quarter-crack, splint or
a spawn, 1 am anointed from the same
bottle. and am expected to drink the |
same potion if [ catch the cholera.
or consumption. OF course, /
know that you, too, are afflicted with |
some of the same reversible, go-as- |
medicine, but you are not |
forced to take it unless suffering from |
suicidal mania. You have an elaborate |
Esculapean menu from which to or
der F"
Col. Struthers, after refreshing him.
self with another. was about to con- |
clude this story with the statement |
that the owner of the horse mounted |
the box. cracked his whip and said |
get up when the bartender turned |
out the gas, and Col. Struthers threat
ened to tell another story at another