Omaha daily bee., 1898-06-12
p,cE no ryrosr coon orr Tt,nrs


When scnator AIien and his popo-
cratic colleagues started the battle cry
of freedom for cuba they probably drl
not realize that their %bclligcreut patriot
ism would 80 soon bring the country
back to those good times FOR which
every popocrat has been yearnlng and
praying since the terrible crime year Of
1873.
While We do not rejoice over the unin-
vitimg prospect, we may as well prepare
to enjoy once more those good old times
when everything from the cradle to the
coffin had to bear the taX-gathcrcr's
stamp.
In those good old days, when prosper
ity was created by stamping upon paper
the I-O-U's of Uncle sam, every box OF
matches was plastered with n revenue
stamp. and so was every bottle of
medicine, every photograph, every tcie,
gram, every decd of conveyance, every
mortgage, every bank check, every
promissory note, and every contract,
whether in a deal for horses or for 4
wife.
In those good old times the peoples
hearts were gladdened from month to
month by visits from friendly evenuc
collectors. who reminded them gently OF
the penalties imposed by law upon peo-
pie who failed to make proper returns
of their income and incidentally took Oc-
casion to look into their bureaus and
~cupboards for contraband articles that
might have shirked the war tax.
For years and years the people who
believe in tiat-made prosperity have
been pointing backward to the good old
times when the public highways tecmed
with tramps and ten yards of calico
sold for three dollars. Now. however.
they are in position to point forward to
n revival of the good old times with all
the old frills excepting shin-plaster cur
rency and the war income tax.
The new revenue law which has just
present generation a taste of the bless
ings that follow in the wake of war.
First and foremost, we shall be blessed
with several hundred millions of bonded
deb on whIun the people will be allowed
to contribute interest and sinking fund
for twenty years. Then we shall wax
fat on an increase of 500. 10000 in our
circulating medium in printed slips bear
ing the usual inscription of notes pay
able when the taxes imposed for their
redemption shall have been collected.
We shall also have another increase in
moonshine silver dollars coined out of
the seigniorage, which represents ths
froth on the top of the 10 to / melting
pot.
All these old-time blessings will bC
enhanced by the rcappcarance of the
brand new revenue stamps to be put
into active circulation in every Ameri
can household, store aud workshop. As
of yore, there will be stamp duties on al
insurance policies, on wills, leases
mortgages, foreign steamship tickets
powers of attorney, notes, bills of lading
medicines of every description, per
fumery, chewing gum, petroleum, tele
phone and Geographic messages.
With these pleasing reminders of tho
good old times will come increased in
| port uutieS, llctnSt JuNtS, ices LOT olll
Ella services and tips for officials tenn
porarily afflicted with defective eyesigh
and memory.
Last, but not least, the restoration o
the good old times will bring back
hungry and thirsty horde of liquor
t~asters, stamp lickers, license collectors
spoilers, prosecutors, commissioners ant
Official. leeches of all varieties, wearin:
the Internal revenue garb.
For all these blessings the American
people will owe an everlasting debt o
gratitude to the b~elligerent Statesmen
who loosed the dogs of wal TO show I,
the world how Uncle Sam looks in hi
fighting clothes.