davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1898-08-18
SIBERIAN PRISONS.

The Rev. DR.. Lansdell publicly stated,
after thorough visit to Siberia, that
should he ever have to change from
clerical to convict life, he would choose
Siberia and not Millbank or any other
English prison, as the scene of labor.
l have no hesitancy to say that person
ally prefer prison life in Siberia to
Sing Sing, and to set the stamp of my
approval upon the prison, following the
kindly invitations of the chief of police,
l was about to transfer my baggage
from the hotel Of the rich Chinaman to
the Jail. However, though the prison
tempted me by it's superior comfort,
better food and bathtubs, 1 had to give
up the project. Interesting things were
to be seen in the town and upon the
great river every minute of the day, so
l remained with Tai Phoon- Tai, only
visiting the prison for my tub every
day. AS upon my first visit was al
ways allowed to walk about the place
and visit all the prisoners, and l saw
nothing to change my opinion of the
cleanliness and the humane condition
under which they lived stephen Bon
sal in Harper's Magazine.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1898-08-18
Tho Horses of Manila.

Among the first things to impress a
stranger are the horses. Descended from
horses brought from Mexico, they have
become much smaller, while they are
also much more shapely. In fact, I have
never seen better looking breed. There
is nothing of the pony in their shape,
though in size they range between 40 and
So inches. At first it looked absurd to
see them ridden by big men whose stir
rups hung down to the horses knees,
but l soon found out that they easily
carried rider weighing 200 pounds.
The foreigners have a jockey club,
which holds two meetings year at the
beautiful turf track at Santa Mesa. To
avoid sharp practice members of the
club only are eligible to ride This
necessitates scale of weights starting
at 1872 pounds and rising to 1874 pounds.
1t demonstrates the speed and strength
Of these miniature horses that mile
has been run in $40 by pony carry
ing $50 pounds. Only stations are
used. Mares cannot even be brought
into the city. Nobody walks; everybody
rides. and on any special fiesta thou
sands Of carriages fill the streets. I
doubt if there is city in the world
that can turn out half the number of
private vehicles in proportion to the
population.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1898-08-18
Laughed Away the Danger.

Ben Cable of Illinois tells of an ex-
perience of his in midocean. The day
was foggy, and most of the passengers
were below listening to two evangelists
who were holding particularly fervid
gospel meeting i'll the saloon. Suddenly
and without the slightest warning there
was a terrific crash and the engines
stopped Every one rushed on deck.
The steamer had run into an iceberg.
Nobody knew what damage had been
done, and every body was ready to fly
into panic. The boats were lowered,
and then for the first time the two evan
gelists, who had been forgotten in the
saloon, appeared on deck. They wore
their overcoats and their hats and they
carried rugs and handbags. They elbow
ed their way rudely to the rail, with
the evident intent of securing for them
selves first places in the boat. It was
just at time when a breath would have
sent the passengers panic stricken into
the boats.
The sight of the two evangelists was
about to undo the work of cool headed
officers, when a pert little cockney STEP
ped up to the gentlemen with the rugs
and handbags.
"Beg pardon said he, tipping his
cap, ave cab, sir?'
And in the general laugh the danger
of panic was averted. Washington
Post.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1898-08-18
Burns Won the Dinner.

There is story told of Robert Burns
IN his youth. Burns was living in the
town OF Ayr and, though still young,
mad attained more than local reputa.
ton as poet. One day he was passing
through the main street of the town and
saw two strangers sitting at one of the
inn windows. With idle curiosity he
stopped to look at them. Seeing him
and thinking that the rustic might af.
ford them some amusement while wait.
ing, the strangers called him in and
asked him to dine with them. Burns
readily accepted the invitation and
proved merry, entertaining guest
When dinner was nearly finished, the
strangers suggested that each should
try his hand at versemaking and that
the one who failed to write rhyme
should pay for the dinner They felt Sc
cure in the challenge, believing that
their rustic guest would pay for the
meal. The rhymes were written, and
Burns read the following: 81, Johnny
Peep, saw two sheep; two sheep saw
me. Half a crown apiece will pay for
their fleece, and I, Johnny Peep, go
free. " The strangers establishment was
great, and they both exclaimed: who
are you? You must be Robbie Burns p
New Castle (England) Chronicle
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1898-08-18
Diamond Studded Streets.

Perhaps the most interesting fact in
connection with Kimberly, the Diamond
City, is the street washing, and some
Of the debris washers have done very
we'll. The washing consists of over
hauling the earth for diamonds.
At nearly every meeting of the bor-
ough council applications for permits
sion to wash streets, or portions Of
streets, are received The would be
washer has to obtain the consent Of per-
sons resident in the street or road, to
put the latter into sound repair again
and pay 1.-THE to the municipality in
the shape of 10 per cent on his gross
finds. Last year $500 was paid to the
municipality in this way.
In the early days of the diamond
fields the ground was washed in a very
primitive style, many diamonds being
thrown away in the debris, as it is call
ed. This debris was subsequently used
for street making purposes, and now,
years after, with better machinery at
their disposal, people find it pays to
wash the streets. Cape Times.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1898-08-18
A Palnter,s Conscience.

In the course of some "reminiscences
of Sir Edward Burne- Jones CORE
spondenr of The Westminster Gazette
remarks: Those who are not offended
by the paradoxes of Charles Lamb would
have delighted in Burned Jones' play of
humor and imagination. Let me Justify
my reference to Charles Lamb.
once returned to Burne j ones some
books which he had lent me 80 years
before, writing to him to the effect that
if it was base to keep borrowed books
SO long it was heroic to return them aft
er such long possession as might we'll
breed the sense of ownership. In reply
he said:
THE return of those books has sim
ply staggered me. 1t has also panied
me, for it seems to raise the standard
of morality in these matters and per-
haps to sting the susceptible consciences
OF book borrowers. l have many bor-
rowed books on my shelves. 1 would
rather the owners should die than that
I should have to think about these
things and return them. I have two
costly volumes that were lent to me be-
fore that little incident of ours, which,
you may remember, was in Red Lion
square. | hope the owner is no more,
for 1 simply will not give them up.
And you have made me uneasy and
have helped to turn an amiable rascal
into a confirmed villain. Your affec-
tlonate NED"
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1898-08-18
4 Marvellous Time Measurer.

As illustrating the triumphs of mod.
ern science in the construction of in
struments of precision The Scientific
American instances chronograph for
recording infinitesimal intervals Of
time, such as millionth of second or
less, which is stated to have been used
to record autographically the compress
sion by blow of cylindrical piece of
copper. In one case 33 pound weight
fell Is inches and produced perma-
nent compression of 1858 inch in a
copper cylinder, the time consumed in
producing this compression being
.0030317 of a second. The machine
produces by means of photography a
curve showing the precise progress Of
this compression. The chronograph
which reaches such remarkable results
consists of rotating cylinder, with a
surface velocity of 100 feet second, on
which is photographed pencil of light,
which is passed through hole in the
end of a rapidly vibrating tuning fork.
The delicacy Of this instrument is far
greater than that Of the ordinary tuning
fork chro' graph recording on sur
face blackened by smoke
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1898-08-18
The Russian. Wolf Hound.

Farof Russia, where winters are so
severe that but for few months in the
entire year are the fields free from snow,
is the home Of breed of dogs known
there as the Borzoi, or Psovoi. The
dogs are grand in aspect, with long,
flowing coats of silken texture that de.
fy the terrible cold, and they are built
on lines that speak volumes for the an
tiquity of their origin. In this country
they are known as Russian wolf hounds.
England is the country that has per-
haps done most for the breed. Some Is
years ago the Briton secured the best
that Russia had and bred them with
the exceeding Judgment he displays i'll
such matters. He today possesses be.
yond question some of the grandest liv
ing. Within the past few years, how.
ever, Germany has made most wonder
full strides in breeding these dogs, and
together with the Briton, has brought
them very rapidly to the FORE Outing
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1898-08-18
Hotel Clocks Alway. Truthful.

"When l am travelling, never put
the slightest confidence in household
clock, /" writes Robert j. Burdette of
'Tongueless Liars, in The Ladies'
Home Journal. "a hotel clock can
depend upon. There are too many
watches in a hotel-good watches,
watches whose absolute correctness
means money to the commercial men
who regulate the travelling life Of this
country. Alying clock would be spot
ted in quarter of second, and the
unhappy clerk scourged with pitiless
sarcasms therefor. In the course of my
wanderings up and down this part Of
the globe I missed few trains and lee
ture engagements by depending upon
clocks in the homes Of my friends.
Having thus paid for my lesson, $751;
900 or $4,000 I think, by my own
computation of the value Of my lectures
(set ahead a little bit, you know. it may
be trif1e fast. ] haven time to look
up the exact figures, Withdrew all my
trust from mantel clocks, especially the
highly ornamented marble and gilt va
riety with silver bells or cathedral
chimes"
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1898-08-18
An Accommodating Neiehbor.

Not long back Mr. x moved into a
new house, which had not before been
occupied. The bell wires were rather
stiff, and in consequence the bells gave
no uncertain sound. This was particu-
larly the case with the doorbell, whose
clangor disturbed the whole house.
Mr.. < is man of sensitive nerves
The tremendous jangle of the doorbell
made him shudder, so he wrote in chalk
above the handle Of the doorpost, "Pull
gently"
About 9 that evening there was a
violent ringing. Somebody tugged at
the bell as if he were going to pull it
out by the roots. The noise was terrific
<. himself ran to the door in rage
and found his friend o.
"What the dickens do you mean BY
ringing that way?" exclaimed x. indig-
nantly. Don't you see what's written
there?"
Eyes, answered 2, "Id see-that's
why pulled so hard"
<. looked at the writing and saw,
Pull urgently" A passing wag had
added the sur. - <. has now muffaed
the bell.-London Telegraph
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1898-08-18
The Nagur and the Fiddle,

Here is a story that the late Freder-
lex Douglass used to tell about himself,
says the Buffalo Express. Once when
he was in Dublin he felt very lonesome.
He was wandering about the streets
when he was attracted by two violins
in the window Of secondhand dealer
Frederick entered and asked the price
OF one of the instruments.
Five shillings. sor, said the Irish
dealer.
Frederick tuned the violin and began
to play Rocky Road to Dublin Soon
the proprietor's wife heard the music
and entered the rear door. Then Fred
erick started in on 1.-The Irish Washer.
woman. and the couple began to dance
for dear life. When the music and
dancing stopped. Frederick rendered the
dealer 5 shillings, but his performance
on the violin had greatly enhanced it's
value III the mind of the storekeeper,
and as he hurried away to place of
security he exclaimed:
If black nagur can git SIGH chunes
out of that fiddle, I'll never sell it at
any price, begorrahi''
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1898-08-18
A Forgetful Bishop.

An English bishop noted for the
shortness of his memory, was one day
waiting at station for train. Being
in good time, his lordship was indulg-
ing in solitary trot up and down the
platform. While thus engaged, he came
in contact with young officer whose
face seemed familiar to him. Meeting
him again, he said GOOD morning."
At the next renconter the bishop stop
ped, saying, "How is your father?''
The gallant soldier replied, 'sHe has
been dead for many years. I" The bishop
tried again with the query, "How is
your mother?" "Well," said the Off
Ger, smiling, 81 think she must be all
right, or you would have, heard had she
been indisposed -
The bishop walked away, but his
curiosity was greatly aroused. Seeing
the station master, he at once asked
him if he could enlighten him as to
who the young officer was with whom
he had been conversing. "Oh, - replied
the station master, why, your lord
ship, that's the Duke of Connaught. -
Household Words.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1898-08-18
Quaint Fitz-James o'Brien.

Mrs. NJ. E. w. Sherwood relates in
the New York Times some amusing
sayings of Fitz James O'Brien. On Wis.
iting very patriotic lady on New
Years day, after the civil war was de-
clared, he said, "She had flags on the
mantel and cold roast eagle on the side
board. y When asked if he partook of
the latter, he said no, as ian Irishman
he was drawn by a patriotic instinct to
the potato salad" and demanded Scotch
whisky to show cosmopolitan breath.
Lest he should become too bellicose, he
"felt even afraid to handle q drum
stick. y
Asked if women had inspired men to
drink as we'll as to heroic actions, he
said, eyes! Often when one is Mumm.
and the other extra dry
And speaking Of the heroic intoxica-
ton that has sent SO many men to war,
he said it is what "makes the puppies
fight we'll, and then, we feel such de-
licious egotism. Why, when l am
marching down Broadway, I do not
know whether am part of the uni
verse or whether the universe is part
of me. f"
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1898-08-18
A Brave Rr;ton.

When the attack was made on Sidon,
during the war with Syria, it became
necessary for the British troops to ad-
vance across long, unprotected bridge,
IN the face of a battery of six guns,
which completely commanded the ap-
proach. The men were unwilling to ex,
pose themselves to certain death, when
Arthur Cumming, carefully dressed in
full uniform, stepped forward to the
middle of the bridge 1t was immedi-
ately swept by the fire of the battery.
When the smoke had rolled away, there
stood Cumming intact, carefully brush
ing the dust from his boots, after which
he stood erect, fixed single glass in
his eye and looked back at the men.
This was too much, and they captured
that bridge and battery with whoop.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1898-08-18
Slang Puzzled Him.

Edouard Remenyi. the great violinist,
used to say that some of the hardest
studying he ever did in his life began
after an experience he had in Detroit.
ION my first tour of this country, ;"
he delighted in telling, II worked un-
ceasingly to acquire knowledge of the
language and got on fairly we'll. But
the slang that found so prevalent baf-
fled me more than anything else. I
gave performance in Detroit one night
and met with reception that warmed
my heart toward her people. Among
other things, this appeared in one of
the papers next morning: Here an
ugly, little bowlegged chap, whose
clothes hung loosely about his ungainly
person, waddled to the footlights. But,
sakes alive, how he did play the fiddler
"Now, l couldn't make out what
that 'sakes alive meant, so l timidly
approached gentlemanly citizen, told
him of my inability to grasp the mean
ing of the slang, and asked him if the
expression was intended to be compli-
mentary.
He kindly read it and replied,
We'll, l should smoker.
II was more bewildered than ever,
and from that time on made the study
Of slang one of my chief occupations. y
-Detroit Free Press.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1898-08-18
Artillery Terms.

All artillery may be divided into two
main classes, heavy and light. Heavy
artillery is called also garrison artillery.
Heavy artillery guns are placed perma
nently in forts, and the men who handle
them form foot artillery batteries and
regiments. Light artillery refers to
guns not permanently emplaced-that
is, light enough to be taken from place
to place by means of horses and ma
neuvered by hand. In our army the
light artillery gunners ride on the Gals
sons and gun carriages In horse artil-
lery the gunners ride horses, so that a
horse artillery battery has great many
more horses than light battery We
have no horse batteries in our army. A
field battery is a light battery A flying
battery is horse battery Siege guns
are between heavy and light artillery
They are intended to be placed perma,
nently for the time being and are
brought to their places by teams, but
they are not unanswered as light guns
are.-New York Sun.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1898-08-18
A Wonderful Time pixiaer.

The new pendulum chronoscope is
said to be the most wonderful timing
instrument IN the world. 1t measures
accurately down to the ne-thousandth
part OF second 1t can be used with
the quickness Of a stop watch, and nei-
ther electrician nor mathematician is
needed to operate the Instrument, which
is mechanical, with simple electrical
attachments. The speed of cannon
ball can be determined by the new
timer, and it will tell the lapse of time
between the firing of revolver and the
starting OF a runner, or determine how
long it takes boxer to deliver blow
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1898-08-18
Nicely Caught.

A few evenings ago gentleman step
ped from train at one of the London
stations, when a young lady skipped up
to him, threw her arms rapturously
about his neck and kissed him many
times, saying:
"Oh, papa. I'm SO glad you have
comet
The old gentleman threw both arms
around her and held her firmly to his
breast.
Soon she looked up into his face, and
horror stood in her eye
"Oh, my, you're not my papa!" she
said, trying to free herself from his EN-.
brace.
"Yes, am" insisted the old gentle.
man, holding her tightly You are
my long lost daughter, and am going
to keep You in my arms till get DO
liceman'
When the officer came, he found the
old gentleman's diamond pin in the
girls hand. -Pearson's Weekly.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1898-08-18
Flight Of the Butterflies.

One of the most beautiful sights in
the world is the annual migration Of
butterflies across the isthmus Of Pana-
ma Where they come from or whittier
they go no one knows, and though
many distinguished naturalists have at
tempted to solve the problem it is still
as strange mystery as it was to the
first European traveller who observed
it. Toward the end of June few scat
tered specimens are discovered fitting
out to sea and as the days go by the
number increase, until about July IA
or 10 the sky is occasionally almost OBJ
scured by myriads of these frail insects.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1898-08-18
mummy DUMMY"

In his Highways and Byways In
Devon and Cornwall" Arthur H. Nor
way tells OF fragment of antiquity
that still ":lingers in the neighborhood
OF Redruth, where the country people,
when they see ghost. say, Mummy
DUMMY /" and he adds, ~ leave the
riddle to be solved by any one who is
curious enough to undertake a useful
piece of practice in unraveling the cor
ruption Of language.
The phrase is probably q corruption
of I'm nomine Domini." the Latin for
"In the name of the Lord, y "a phrase so
familiar in the devotion of the middle
ages.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1898-08-18
He Settled 1t.

An amusing story is told at Stratford-
on-Avon. In the smoking room Of a
hotel there an Englishman and Scotch.
man engaged in heated argument
John Bull was declaring William
Shakespeare to be the only poet of the
world, and Donald Mcpherson was
standing up for his Robert Burns.
Words ran high and blows seemed
Imminent when a self confident little
commercial traveller determined to
throw oil on the troubled waters.
Gentlemen he said, stepping be-
tween the heated disputants, "let me
settle this amicably. Who is this Shake
speare- Burns" London Telegraph.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1898-08-18
Not His Legs.

A Russian peasant having gone to the
town to buy himself pair of new
boots, fell asleep by the roadside on his
way home and was stripped of his cher,
lshed boots by light fingered tramp,
but his sleep remained unbroken till "a
passing wagner, seeing him lying half
across the track, shouted to him to
take his legs out of the way"
My legs?" echoed the half aroused
sleeper, rubbing his eyes, "Those legs
amt mine. Mine had boots onp-
Paris Figaro
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1898-08-18
Looking Backward.

The titles of the king of Spain sug-
gest large part of the history Of the
world. He is king of Jerusalem, which
is Turkish. of Navarro, which is
French; of Gibraltar, which is British,
and of the East and West Indies, which
are largely British; duke of Brabant
and count of Flanders, now the two in
dependent Kingdoms Of Holland and
Belgium, and sovereign of numerous
other lands long since independent or
under the undisputed sway of other
powers. He bears upon his person in
deed an epitome of the glory and the
fall of Spain.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1898-08-18
Fis Compliment,

A few weeks back wedding break
fast was given by substantial farmer
blessed with five daughters, the eldest
of whom was the bride. A neighbor,
young farmer, who was honored with
an invitation, thinking no doubt that
he ought to say something compliment.
tary upon the event, addressed the
bridegroom thus:
We'll. you have got the pick of the
batch. -
The faces of the four unmarried ones
were study. -London Fun.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1898-08-18
OUR NOTICE.

All business locals inserted in the news col
umns will be charged for at the rate of Ten
GENTS per line, for the first insertion. and
FIVE CENTS for each subsequent insertion.
Locals set in heavy face type FIFTEEN
CENTS per line for first Insertion and Ten
CENTS per line for each subsequent insertion
All notices will be kept in until ordered out
All accounts must be settled monthly. Politi-
cal correspondence TWENTY FIVE CENTS per
line, each communication to be accompanied
by the cash.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1898-08-18
The Scholar.

DR.. Evans. a witty member of the
parliament at Melbourne, was an old
man, and the other members jokingly
spoke OF him as belonging to the era of
Queen Anne.
Once, while making speech, he re-
ferred to Queen Anne and was greeted
with cries of "Did you know her?''
What was she like?"
Eyes, sir :" retorted the doctor, Il
did know her. The scholar is contem-
porary with all time. .
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1898-08-18

While stationed at Gibraltar over
heard, says a regimen" story teller,
the following colloquy between an in-
fantryman doing sentry go and a sapper
out with his sweetheart:
Sentry (who sees sapper coming)-
Haiti Who goes there?
sapper ttrying to look big)-Engi-
neer and his lady.
Sentry-Advance, sapper and servant
girl. ALPS well.-London Globe
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1898-08-18

According to an old French saying,
" A mans character is like his shadow,
which sometimes follows and some
times precedes him. and which is occa-
sionally longer, occasionally shorter
than he is.''