The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1898-04-09

Chicago Daily News: Braidwood Is
one OF these remarkable young men
whom no one can quite make out. His
acquaintances. spend their time vac!l.
lating between two oplnIons-one. that
Braidwood Is a genius, and. therefore,
privileged to be eccentric; the other,
that he Is unfortunate and cannot help
Il.
Braidwood, with his slow, mysterious
smile. his languld ease and sleepy eyes,
has never vouchsafed any explanation
or condescended to settle the question
This fact alone woul tip the balance In
favor OF his. being a genius. q
He cnlivened his younger days by
hanging his fathers old sword by a hair
and nearly decapltatlng himself, ex-
planning afterward that no thought It
was an impossibillty and wanted to
prove II: he arranged schedule OF nine
deaths for tho family cat. which was
upset by the animals premature death
ut experiment MOL which consisted of
drowning.. he scandalized his Latin
teacher by writing an Ingenious essay
10 prove that Neneas, instead OF being
hero and dutiful son for carrying his
aged father on his back from burning
Troy. was In reality a coward who
hoistcd the old gentleman over his
shoulders merely rs shield to keep of
hot cindcrs, and In his energetic hunt
for causes and effects and the true rea-
sons for their existing nearly drove q
long line OF tutors and professors Into
lunatlc asylums and strait Jackets. 1t
Is said when Braidwood graduated from
college the professors had private
banquet celebrating the event.
His most annoying characteristic IL
that OF being strictly literal. II Is not
a pose-pcrsons who are literal purpose
~. with the idea 1t Is amusing, are only
on a level with punsters. Braidwood
can no more help 1t than he can avoid
crossing the street when he wants to get
on the other side. 1t Is on record that
he never again went TO call on girl
with whom he was desperately In love,
and to whom he firmly meant to propose,
after he witnessed the scene In which
she went down on her knees before a
nink-and-white morsel OF three
inonths-old baby and cooed ecstatically:
on, You darling. 1 would like 10 eat
you'll" Every other man In the room
beamed and called 1t an exhibition OF
sweet tenderness, hut the picture OF Il
cannibars wife which instantly swept
across Braidwood's mind drove him out
IN the cold world unattached, prey to
all the other girls In creation. He is the
terror of those people who are prone to
cSaETerate and Is as cheerfully remorse-
less In pruning down elaborate tales as
though he had been endowed with the
editorial blue pencil from infancy.
There were dozens of bicyclers who
went by here last Sunday" enthusiasts
tically said the girl across the street
from him who is a devotee of the wheel.
Ten" said Braidwood courteously,
II counted them"
The girl looked at his kindly, placid
conntcnance with the dimple IN one
check. which was surely meant for some
feminine face and strayed by mistake
and her wrath melted. That Is the way
with Braidwood-he is SO good humored
In his desire TO set people right that he
has always escaped being slain by his
victims.
His friends are still talking of his
latest adventure. He bough: u pair of
hcavy shoes and the salesman insisted
,heyswere water-tght and waterproof.
Yes. Know all that" said Braidwood
gently, hut are they" witt, an accent
OIL the are rs EI2I.
The salesman raised his hand dramat-
ically. You could soak those shoes
over night" he said, land they would
be dry inside in the morning."
Braidwood marched home with the
shoes, put them on, turned the water on
in the bath tub and was found three
Quarters OF an hour later by his younger
BROTHER sitting on the edge OF the por-
celain tub with his feet immersed. PHI
iosophy was in his eyes and patience in
his attitude. a
i wanted to see." he explained, "ir
mat man told The truth. He did The
inside OF the shoes is perfectly dry, but
l am afraid the outside Is ruined"
Ills arguments were SO effective that
the salesman gave him another pair OF
shoes next day.
Bra!dwood is still honestly wondering
why his friends are so fond of this story.