Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1898-09-10
ONE MILITARY EVIL.
PRIVATE BARRY DISCOURSES ON THE
ARMY MULE.
Says the Gentle Animal Has Ways That
Are VexatiOus and Tricks That Are OBJ
nOxious. Provoking the Mild hammered
Soldier Who Has Him In Charge.

Are yexatious and Tricks That Are OBJ
noxious. Provoking the Mild hammered
Soldier Who Has Him In Charge.
CAMP THoMAs.-What CONTRARY
burrud an arrulny mule is! Oh taut ut
wuz just stories about thin till Oh kim
Until the arrumy, but be jabers ut s the
truth. There wuz yistherday, whin our
battalion wuz at the range an rifle prac
tice, an me shuttin near fifty-foive per
cint-but Fave thot go. We wuz at the
range, an wan mornin comes an ordher-
ly from the colonel av the regiment say
in he sint his complimints til Major
Stark, an he would be over that day to
musther us in.
We get musthered by the commander
av the rigimint every month fur the
paymasther to swear by. Ut's bad luck
for mon to miss thot musther, an be-
fore he can git mustered he must sign
the pay roll. In the arrumy he signs a
receipt for his pay week before he
gifts ut-but Pave thot go.
We had not more than finished sign
in the pay rolls an the furrust sargints
wuz still swearin as they always have
to do under the articles av war whin
they have that wurruk an han, when
from the quarthermasther' departmint
comes the wurrust noise liver the airs
av min heared. 'Twuz an arrumy mule
kickin. He raired an backed an backed
ag'in, him pullin his hid aft in his
deSDrit efforts to gift loose
"Corpril av the Gyard No Nome,
mule en- throuble" shouts out the sin
try in the vicinity, an wild that the
alarum goes round to the gyard tint, an
away goes the corpril av the gyard.
"Corpril darlint, an how can Oh
sleep an thot divil av mule maxim
such row." says the poor sintry
"Slape as you always do, bad scran
til you,' retoorts the corpril, cav it
wuzn't Daylight au you ixpectin the
mess call livery mint wild the relief to
lave you go ate. But uts wastin tonne
Oh am an the wrong wan Lave us let
him loose.
Be thot tonne there wuz full platoon
an the groun, all av thin givin advice.
"Poor cratur'' says Lynch, privit
in A, who isAthe divil's own av liver
there wuz wan. "Poor cratur!' says
he, "an ut mad he is because the Fur
rust sargint would not let him sign the
pay rools."
Maybe he has jus REMEMBERED he
lift somethin in his kit back in the rigi
mint an wants to hurry back for ut, !"
NTcEo11i,, <hn
An little you know about ut, pipes
in Private Jones av b. He had jus
made 100 per clint at the targets. cut
is his turrun to shoot, an we'll he knows
ut"
"He knows Liftinint Gunlack is absint
an he wants to answther the 'adjutant's s
call hissilf, put in Private Overstreet.
tailed for ut. ="
Lave him be. You talk like Wexford
min, the whole lot av you," shouted the
wagner, him tarin mad bechuxt the
mule an the min.
Be this tonne the actin quarthermas-
ther kim up, Liftinint Sutton, wild a
reef in his throusers an his campaign
udG. w udI is inc mOCCner! ne aXeu.
He mistuk the adjutant's call for
the mess call, liftinint," says Lynch,
an he near fell dead win the A. @. M.
burst out laffin.
"Allow me to handle him." suggist
ed wee bit av a thing from D., his
name Oh haven't about me, for the
gyard report is seldom trusted to pri-
Wits, although ut is we'll known we are
the flower av the arrumy.
"Allow me to handle you mesilf, )"
says the wagner, wild his timper stickin
out av him like poor gossoon's S shirt,
an wild thot he made pass for the in.
terloper, hittin the mule be mistake
wild his fisht an near fellin him.
STEADY" commands Liftinint SUIT
ton, an then he ordered the thrumpiter
to sound the water" call.
AS Secretary Olney used to say, ac-
cordin to the major, thot closed the in
cidint, for the mule quet an TUX to his
driver like Scotchman till his toddy.
Oh moind the tonne whin Captain
may the divil fly away wild me if tkot
thrumpiter ism soundin quarthers an
hour ahid av tonne. Och, but the an
noyancies in the arrumy is obnoxious!
ppIy.rr RAppv