The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1898-02-06

L
was subscribe a IS note toward it," A de
cvoted 'worshiper sitting near by dolefully
shouted: on, Lord hit him again, and
hit him hard"
John Aliens Humorous Speeches.
John Allen never made but, one speech
without telling a story. In the debate
on the pension bill he retailed two tina,
are still on their travels The first was
concerning a little Georgia girl whose
prayer he heard as he was coming to
Washington. After praying for hen
father and mother. brothers and sisters
The preacher, the Sunday school teacher,
and the heather. she continued: And
now, oh, Lord, take good care of your
self for you know you and Mckinley are
all we have to depend on, and il don't
look like Mckinley was going to do any
| thing for us.
The second story was concerning a blue
and gray reunion in Missouri A Con
federate and a Federal soldier became
| chummy. They recalled the war times
and were enjoying themselves in great
| shape in saloon. The Federal thun1ped
! the Confederate on the back and said:
well Johnnie. we fought on separa tc
sides in she war, but if another war
| comes we will be found under the same
| old flag, shoulder to shoulder, lighting
| together for our government" The Con.
| federate replied "Well, weuns will, bat
| youuns won't This rolled the Federsl !.
who said: ''Why do you say that we
! won't be fighting under the old flag to,
! gether?' why. youuns can't fight -
| the Confederate replied, land we'uns ca Al.
| The pension rolls show that you'uns we re
! all disabled"
Galusha A. Grow told an exceedingly
| interesting but not an amusing story con-
| corning President Lincoln during the war.
81 went to see him. he said, about The
| appointment of judge in one of the Ter
/ ritories MI Lincoln made a memoran-
| dunn of the matter. Not long afterwards,
| as / entered the executive chamber. he
said: Mr. Speaker, l meant to appoint
| your friend to that judgeship, but a Wom-
| an came in here with nine small children
| and one at the breast, and pleaded the
| bread act on me. and Dreaded me out Of il.
| l said very well, MIR President if there
| is anybody needing consideration and CO.
operation from the government it is the
| Union men i'm the insurrectionary states.
| This was one of such cases. A family had
| been driven out because of their Union sc n
timeflts But, Mr.. Speaker" said Presi-
| dent Lincoln. let me take the name again;
| 7 will attend TO the matter He went 10
his silk hat filled with papers, and began
| TO tumble over them, remarkins; You
| may think this "A queer way of doing
1 things Yes Mr.. President | replied.
| .If' voilr hat should blow off in the street
state secrets might be scattered He took
| out a paper on which he put down the
| name. Now he said 4 will attend TO the
! matter when it comes round and he did
| 80 From that day to the present, aid
| Mr. Grow. ~ have been always asking
/ myself the question, Why should the P1es!-
| dent of the United States be required to
spena his time and strength listening to
applications for subordinate positions IN
der the government?
Other Good stories Told.
George w. Faris of Indiana opened his
| budget in the civil service melee. ne sa.d
! maj there was a merchant in his district
r,ho was selected to take an inventory OF
4 n sfor1S of merchandise in a legal proceed
ibgl He came across four gross Of SOCKS
and wrote them in the appraisment 'soX.
! 4 friend called his attention TO IT, ana re
vented: "Oh. yes. there IS something
,,,roro there? see it," He look his pen a
,.,rd time and wrote the word "sOXes.
19ranll G. Clark of New Hampshire the
..,icoesor or ex-CongrCssman Baker, ere
ated laughter and applause by retaining an
| ihc,dant I'm the life of bird. a man VINO
i<ent a bird store was called upon one day
h., = stamneror VINO wanted to BUY a par
rot He inquired: D-d-u-uo YOU Nm
-, n-p-p-parrots?" The s!orekeeper
no.,iiad mat he did, and showed him some
froy1 which he r1ade a selection He then
..1lad qs-c-can this one t-t-t-talkE
..Tell" answered the storekeeper, IF ne
,a,,ldn,t talk better than you can ! would
kin him" 80. ,,,..,,.,.,. ,,,o
member. Of Congress, gave his
80 49, ON The civil service commission in
a ", aoecdote. zone Sunday went to
"b,,rcb said he. 1T was a little SAB
ohurcb IA an oak thicket l got IN and
,,asrd me preacher praying. lie prayed
IN, and fervently. He broke forth "a al
lols a,,anoq of his soul. oh. Lord. have
w mon sinners Oh. Lord. please
mel Tie devil in his mad oareerH Yes
eoo6 d.deacon over IN the corner
ebsnted. yes good Lord cut his tail clean
off. 80 ,a,,,. ,ta .,,,ii