The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1898-03-06
FRIENDSHIPS OF WOMEN.
yEPHAsE Of THE FEMININE MIND
tyD IT'S CONSEQUENCES.

= nnu
u.oman's friendship for woman is one thing,
..d mans friendship for man altogether an
~ The latter is not so fragile as the former,
a, old man and n young woman can be the
.,n,st and best Of friends; two old women can
=. thoroughly sincere and faithful In their
u.nS.bin. and two young women can be tho
,,nc until they become Interested in the same
".n Two men who nre friends often become
t.,oros,cd In tho same woman, but the bond be.
- ,hcm may not be broken thereby. Let
wv ,onrs women who are friends get inter
ested in the same man " u'heF-
emit story 10 tell.
"Whv is 1t that We never sec two young
-omcn loyal and true and faithful in their
friendship for one ahother' rs W. men "ro' man
oiten asks.
!, IA because there Is n marked difference In
a.. onality OF mans mind and woman's.
slnce women are creatures OF faith. 1t would
.,sm more natural for them to be better friends
= IN another than men; but they aren't.
woman has more faith when II comes to unseen
,,inps than man. but man has moro faith in the
,hI,os and people around him than his sisters
ND his cousins and his aunts. to say nothing OF
Nj. wife and mother. Faith is the basis Of
tr,endship. and without 1t honeyed declarations.
,ueh as women are wont to make. avail nothing.
An old woman told a young girl some valuable
things about this matter of friendship recently.
pstween the two there exists one of those ideal
relationships which ally youth and age, giving
N oue the wisdom OF many years and to the
o,her the joyousness Of n few.
81 wonder why it is" said the girl. that
,risndship between women OF tho same age
4. so different from friendship between men
NJ the same age, or between men and
women. Now. I don't feel at all toward
nv Young women friends as I do toward
my men friends. There are a great many things
that I would tell the men that I wouldn't dream
Of telling the women. A thing is safe with a
woman as long rs things are running smoothly
between you and her. but as soon as there is a
little suat or a spirit Of rivalry springs up over
clothes or beauN or any old thing over which
women vie with one another she forgets all
about her pledges Of loyalty and uses your con-
fdence against you. Mind you. I'm talking
about myself as we'll as every other woman in
every other country of the world. We are all
in the same boat. Something seems to have
been left out OF our composition when it comes
to implicitly trusting another woman of the
name nge and attractions.
I'll tell YOU. what it Is" answered. the old
queer. They can believe in all sorts of queer
ends and creeds and have perfect faith in mira
ees and man. and yet they cannot trust their
feminine fellow beings, unless the said beings
are years older or younger or decidedly unat-
tractive. The reason YOU tell your men friends
things that you won't tell your women friends
Is because you have faith in them, and you have
this faith in them because they have faith in
you. Faith begets faith. To have a friend you
must he one. You can't expect women to
them. Ifevery woman had perfect faith in the
goodness and sincerity OF every other woman of
her acquaintance; friendship between woman
and woman would be far purer and stronger
than friendship between man and man or
woman md man. One woman can understand
can feel not only for her but with her rs man
could never do; but, alas and alack! we don't
Do t because we lack faith in one another.
Faith helps us to draw to US whatever we
actively trust in. Faith. You know, means
something besides fidelity: it means trust. You
heroine friends with a man: and his Inherent
faith in yon gives you not only faith in him. but
faith in yourself. and your friendship fiourishes
and grows strong: You meet a woman OF your
f'ith in YOU. and to cover this up yon vow and
declare that you will always be true to one an.
O'h.n. come what may. Faith is one of the most
Tor il attracts to Itself whatever or Who.
,rer it earnestly and persistently desires.
iHon.sSHiIp between @tSn 10 yo GssepfS and other .sHe women rssn.
cultivate a spirit Of faith In your own sex. and
preach and demonstrate that. spirit. to them.
man. Lop off q little OF the fidelity and trust
that you give to the rib sex and give it TO the
women icsks. and things Will adjust themselves
Not for worlds would 7 have you lose your
faith In men. but don't believe everything they
say. Above all things. never accept an excuse
anan offers with your mind. Accept il with
yonr lips, yes, but not with your mind or heart.
What do ] mean : just this: II one OF your
men friends. usually very attentive. should stay
away from YOU a month. say. and come back
WIZ the thinnest OF excuses. you would not
SsIy accept it Graciou1!y. hut would actually
1t with the lips: but not with the mind. II
a woman friend should neglect you two
weeks You wouldn't take stock in any eH-
cnse that she might offer unless you alb
soluteIy, knew 1t to be true. The woman's
excuse is more often genuine than the mans.
separation in miles will keep him. away. Death
llselt won't do II unless he happens to be the
they are really very ingenious. Now, l know n
brookiyn lawyer. a brilliant fellow who has had
ame,eorlc career. and really while. Il ! we're a
nat could, not fail to respect and admire them.
Only the other night I heard him make an ex-
t tins 10 a etrL, to whom he'd been very atten.
I'VE, tor not having been around to see her In a
m9hth OF sundays. She rcproached him, and no
sag In the most insinuating voice:
r.. Why: my dear girl, ! haven't been because
are TOO attractive to me, and I fancied you
T AR, ior some one else more; so stayed away.
sonere ! am back. and you'll bave to endure
n.y. S,sy away from you can't,
k.tinhI girl was IN the seventh heaven and
,,S"ered every word Of that excuse. continued
SaeoId woman. " knew that that man had
UetndeyotinG himself to another girl. and my
Miha rejected every word he uttered. but at
NE same time it applauded his ingenuity.
"mnst we women need is n little more
Ian IN each other in little things and lust a
tufiTihe shade less in our men friends. Then, I
~ you things would b. more evenly balanced.
atuu make n test case with one of your favorite
W. friends and you'll see that two girls can Nc
iust as good friends ms two men. Give her
SSntn ana tenderness and faith, and they will
voEet me same qualities in her. Not even in
sw1'ssLlh the same man can then break the cords
~ %ne ana respect and trust that will bind you
me gauze vest has had it's day. When any
.'ucie OF woman's apparel Is displayed in every
mop window and marked down-away DOWN
aoom Is sealed. A few years ago the gauze
vest almost completely ousted the chemise.
"u'en IS the most becoming and graceful gar
meht In woman's wardrobe. The few who chung
Guns robe and repudiated the gauze vest AS
.mmodest were called old-fashioned, but now the
'noei on the other foot. Those who cling to gauze
or' rather, who allow It to cling to them-are
SSTveiessly out OF date. The gauze vest had few
,'h,nte 10 merit its popularity. II Ia warm, It
insnlnIs preparation and retains ID, often caus-
mi .olu chllIs TO run the scales up and down tho
ali r. on me hottest summer day, and. worst of
eIs crawls, stay up or down It won't. It
ton I. ~ rom the bottom and down from the