The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1898-10-20

wooden LEG. Look here: "Mj Dere Friend"
Now, everybody knows that the way to spell
dear is deer. Then he goes on:
49, talk mi pen in hand to inform u that
Ime we'll. tho I've lost about pounds, and
hoap that u air injoyin' the same blessin''
Think O. tie vulearity o. man wrtin' tor
a young lady bout his losin ilesh. If man
should write sieh thing to my sister I'd
hunt him up and wollop the life outen him.
| Then he goes TN:
80 amt built to spare much meat ard the
loss of 10 pound leaves iallow lots in mi
cloze. But He grow it all back on me agin
mitey quick, as soon as we kin hav another
protracted meetin' with the Commissary De-
partmint.'
Did you ever hear sich vulgarity?"
Grounding groaned Now hear him brag
and use langwidge unfit for any lady TO see:
"'We've jest went throo the gosh-almighti-
est eampane that emmy army ever done. ls
wuz r.,ne and mGd 4S ours outen the 81,
with thunde. and htsnin' on the side Wa
got wettern Far0's hosts done chasin' the
Jews throo 80 foot of Red See. But We
diddent stop for that till we'd hustled old
Bragg outen his works, and started him on
the keen jump for Chattynoogy, TO put the
Cumberland Mountings betwixt US and him.
Think % the conceit o. the feller. Wants
to make that gal believe that he druv OF
Bragg Almost single-hande1, and intends to
fOler him mp and lick HIM some more. Sich
gall. SciI 1elers hurts US in the opinion o.
the people at home. They make 'em think
we're al SIT o. bowhauls. But this ains
nothin' 10 what comes next. He tries To-
honeylugle the gal, and he's rs clumsy bout
1T Is brown bar Robin beehive. Lis
ten:
80 Nj dere frend can't tell You how
happy yOre letters maik me. Fve got 50 |
look for the male good dele more angshi-
ous5ly than for the grub-wagon.'
Think o. man Sayin' grub TO a lady"
said Grounding, in tone of deep disgust.
Awful coarse. A gentleman alters says
peck, or hash,' or vittels, when he's
speakin' to a lady, or before ladies' / licked
a man onct for sayin' gizzard-linin before
my mother and gizzard-linn' amt half as
coarse as grub. But he gifts softer'n mush
| as he goes on. Listen:
| 60 rede every wun of 'em over till they're
| cleane wore out, and then / save the pieces,
bekaze them cum from u. l. Tede them
whenever line alone, and it seems to ME that
| its yeres before another one comes If L
Good make anybody feel as good by ritin' to
EN- rs u kin me Ide rite 'em every day
'Thar's some more of his ignorant SPELL
blamed fool knows the way to spell write is
'w-r-i-g-h-t.' l learnt that much before I
wuz knee-high to a grasshopper. But let
me continner:
| 9 / thick Bad Ak Wisconsin must be the
incest plas in the world bekaze U live there.
/ woodent want TO live anywhair else, and
| Tine cummin up THAR jest as soon the
war is over to settle. / think of u every
our III the day, and -
| He thinks of her every hour. The idee,"
/ said Grounding, with deep scorn. " that sich a
| galoot as Shorty thinks of anything more'n
a minute, except some triple y, all-wOol
| indigC-dyed cu>sedness, that he kin work off
on some other ieller and hurt him. that no
don't thinks as smart as he Is Think o.
! him gushin' out all this soft-solder to fool
| so ne poor girl --
| You Internal liar. you, give me that
| letter." shouted ST. boiling into the circle,
and making clutch at the sheet. ''PH
| pound your Ornery head often you.
| 81 had come up unnOticed, and listened for
a few minutes to Groundhog's TRADE before
] he discovered that his partner was its object.
| Then he sprang at the teamster, struck at
| him with one hand, and snatched at the
| letter with the other The bystanders in
stinctiyely sided with the teamster, and ST
| became the center of maelstrom of kicks
and blows, when Shorty, seeing his partners
| pIeiicament, bolted down the hill and
began knocking down everybody in reach
| until he cleared a way to Sis side. By
this time the attention of the Sergeant of
| the Guard was attracted, and he brought an
energetic gun-barrel to the task of restoring
the reign of law and order.
How in thunder'd you come TO git into
fracas with that herd o. mavericks, SIP"
asked Shorty, in tone of rebuke, as the
| Sergeant was rounding up the crowd and
| trying to get at who was TO blame. 1'COuldn't
you find somebody on your own level to fight,
without startin' fuss with passed. o. low
down, rust-eaten roustabouts? What's got
into you? Bin liyin' so high lately that you
had to have fight to work off your fractions
ness? Pm surprised at you"
Grounding ID got hold of letter o.
your'n to your girl up in Wisconsin" gasped
ST. land was readin' it to the crowd Here's
| piece of It,"
Shorty glanced at the fragment of torn
paper in Sis hand, and deep blush suffused
his Sun-browned cheek. Then he gave a
howl and made rush for Grounding.
Here, let that man alone, or III make
you, shouted the Sergeant of the Guard.
Sergeant" said 81, THAT rat-faced team
ster had got hold of letter to his girl, and
was reading it to this gango camp oflal."
20, said the Sergeant, IN q changed tone;
hope he'll haste the life out of him.
And he jumped in before a crowd that was
showing some disposition to 90 to Ground
hogs assistance, sharply ordered them to
about-iace, and drove them off before him.
Here, Sergeant" shouted the Officer Of
the Guard, who came running up; what are
you fooling around with these fellows forf
They're not doing anything. Don't you see
that man 3 killing that teamster?"
''Teamster had got hold of letter to his
girl, F." explained the Sergeant, and was
reading it to these whelps."
30, said the Officer of the Guard in a
different tone :" Run these rascalS down
there in front Of the Quartermaster's and set
them to work digging those stumps out.
Keep them at it till midnight, without any
thing to eat I'll teach them to raise dis
turbances in camp"
The condition in which Shorty left Ground
hog gave that worthy much food for thought
as to whether his education in reading and
writing had not been a grave mistake, bring
ing him great deal more sorrow than happi-
ness.
ITO be confinuedl
PERSONAL.