The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1898-03-04

your patient, Ur. Jones' He-~But he
was III long, long timer'-Punch-
Friend-sHow do You get along with
the cookingT The Bride-~Admira-
bly,. ! blame It on the range."-Puck-
How can you call man Christian
who loves himself as that Teller doesT'
well. I've heard that he Is his own |
worst enemy'-Puck-
Founder has had TO go out Of the |
band" What was the troubleT He
has got too fat to balance the bass
drum. Chicago Record
~Our organist has an easy time Of IL"
In what wayT' when lie wants his
wheel pumped up he attaches 1t TO the
organ" Chicago Record.
He-'1 suppose II your father found
me here he would kick me out OF the
door, She-~Oh. don't know; papa's
punting Is wretched." detroit Jour
nal
Chorus Of Excited yoices-"H eavens,
A boat wrecked. you say1 And none
of It's occupants escapedT' Life-saver
lgrimly) the fellow who rocked
it."-Trufh-
Jill-sIs GIL a good judge OF cigarsT
Blll--I think he must be- He had two
must have kept the best one-"-Yon-
kers Statesman
A bald-headed man tainted the other
day from the heat. He was very In
dIgnant when he was reviving. at
hearing a Cockney exclaim, Give him
hair-glve him hair"
The horse has another point Of I
periority over the wheel" What Is
ity' when horse Is getting ready 10
shy at anything. you can tell 1t by his
ears "-Chicago Record
Hall-"What are you doing now =
Gallon. I'm making house-to-
house canvass to ascertain why people
don't want TO buy a new patent clothes
wringer."-Chicago News.
Darling" he cried. Il cannot live
without you" But" she replied, my
father Is bankrupt" In that case he
despondently replied. Il guess I'll 20
and shoot myself. Chicago News
Ieacher--Don't any OF you know
how to find mountains on the mapl
Now. look at this map Of Alaska What
Is that row or chain Of dark. round
spots?" Class Din chorus)-~Nugsetsr'
Puck.
Allce-'What a gallant person Mr..
Dunkley Is. He never addresses me
without beginning Fair miss Dor
othy-"Oh. that's force OF habit He
used to be a street-car CONDUCTOR
Cleveland Leader.
Bowery Blll-~Say. young Teller. you
ought to stop smokln' cigarettes Dey
amt good fer yer" Cholly
noty' Bowery Bullock how nerv
Gus yer get just cause a genrm asks
, yer fer a light"-Puck-
Teacher-"Well. Jane. what IS YOU
, fathers businessT' Jane-"He's a col
lector, num- Teacher--And foi
r whom does he collect money! Jane
He doesn't collect money. He's col
{ lector Of rags ''-Boston Ideas.
I She--But surely you believe that n
4 sins Of the father are visited on ths
4 childrenT' He-'Rather. My Cover
D nor promised to let me have fiver thi,
morning: but he lost II al poker las
: night, so l didn't get it-'-Punch-
: Boswell" said DR.. Johnson. meet
ing the biographer on the street, =
: have been reading your manuscripts
There Is a great deal about yourself II
them. They seem 10 me to be You
moirs rather than Memoirs."-P
e Shelf you could have one wish
what would II beY' He--It would o.
that-that-Oh, II l only dared 10 tel
4. you what II would ber' She-''Well
go on Why do you suppose I brough
/. up the wishing subject -Chicag
"a News
:. Mrs. Porkley-'I often wonder hoS
Il people manage to understand eac
D. other In France" Mrs. Gotham-"HoS
n absurd" Mrs. Porkley-"Well. bot
= my daughters speak French. and the
d can't understand each other."-Up-t,
is Date.
Of Proprietor average hotel)-"Ver
Vi sorry. sir. but you Will have to leav
NJ this house al once Guest-~Goodnes
n me, What have l doneT- ProprietC
ID ,solemnlyl-'.You said something to
E. walter which has displeased the cook.
Il yellow Book
!, Lady interviewing housemaidf
VI why did you leave your last place
y ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS the master kis
ell me. num- Lady-"And you didn
- ike Il. ehy' HouSemaid-~Oh. di'
= Mt mind II. mum. but the mistress di'
Mt like it-'-Fun-
n Miss Quickstep-''What part OF tow
i, are we driving through. Mr.. Fibble,
h. Fweddy-"I haven't the least idea
"a Miss Qulckstep-~l was aware OF tina
IL still. l thought Il possible you migl
~ know what part OF town we are drivir
= through. Chicago Tribune.
vs. Miss Ancient Wantiman Sudden
TO awakeningl-'I see you have my poe
ne et-book; but there's very little money
IT, that compared with what / have
ne hank" Burglar ,gruiily l-~Well. the
il aln't no way 10 git THAR Miss Ancsc
re Wantiman-~H'm. Are you a sing
~ manT'-Puck.