The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1898-06-02
THE TIDY HUSBAND.
He Is Even More ExnsperntiES Than
thc One Who Is Careless.

the One Who Is Careless.
Is there anything more trying on this
earth than a tidy" husband-thati is to
say the man who thinks himself the
very pink of perfection, as far rs neat
ness goes, and yet who has absolutely
10 idea Of ordcrlinness? His own
belongings, clothes, pipes, books, etc,
are allowed to lie all over the house,
and an attempt to put these in their
right places brings down a torrent of
grumbIing on his wife.
why cannot she mind her own bust
less? Is nothing private from a wom-
on's prying and curiosity? Let her
confine herself to her own duties, which
would certainly be improved by little
more care" etc.
But other peoples untidiness-ah!
that is a theme upon which he is never
weary of talking and periodically he
has fits of tidying up at home, where
life, for those in the house, is one long
WEAKNESS.
Then nothing is private from his pry
ing and curiosity; books and papers are
carefully sorted out and put back in the
wrong places; those which his wife has
are either tied up with the waste paper
to be sold or sent out to the kitchen
to be burned; letters are torn up in
discriminatory, whether they are an
sgcred or not; the cupboard shelves
are packed with lot of rubbish which
is really useless, and which was only
waiting an opportunity TO be got rid
of; and for the next few weeks con-
fusion reigns supreme; nothing can be
found when it Is wanted because every
thing has been put just where it
shouldn't be.
When he has tired of making him
self thoroughly Objectionable down
stairs, he goes upstairs and turns out
all his boxes and drawers, and-leaye s
them; for his fit of tidiness does not
last sufficiently long to allow of his
reducing the muddle he has made to
ueatncss; that is for his wife to do
later on.
With buster, too, lie goes about
Ticking up imaginary PARTICLES of dust
which don't exist, and Il piece of string
and reel of cotton out of place APP
parcntly causes him agony and is the
subject of a long homily on the amount
of rubbish which is allowed to acrumu-
.ate unless there is some one to take
an interest in the house"
There are generally prcmonitOry
symptoms to warn the Obscrvant wife
that the fit is coming on-a restless I'M
casincss, an aimIcss moving of the orna-
1acnts on the mantcI piece and the re-
itcratcd question: "Whcre is that
book Tor that paper) that l was read,
;ng?" lie signs frequently, too-a sigh
| of WEAKNESS and hopelessncss, as of a
man who battles unsucccssfully with
| the faults and failings of others; his
face wears II wearied and heartbroke en-
expression. and little frowns appear on
| his forehead. lie refuses to make or
| join in any lengthy conversation, talk
| ing only in Snatchcs, and then on the
most gloomy subjects; he even heaves
against his favorite pipe, which refuses
tC. draw" and he spells six matches
| for every one that he lights; and by the
next morning his malady is fully de-
vcloDcd and as soon as breakfast is
over he begins to tidy up"
But although one may see the out
break, it is difficult to know just how
| to check it. and indeed it is often wise
| to accept 1t as an inevitable discomfort,
| There are so many worse cranks which
he might take up, and, as we are all
supposed to be slightly mad on one sub
| ject at least. a mania for tidincss-in
| other pcoplc-is at most n harmless
| idiosyncrasy.
If the fit threatens to be q very bad
| one it may lie rendered less severe by
| extra sweetness and kindness of man
| Itcr, by an excellent dinner or the judi
cious leading of the thoughts in another
| direction.
Or the wife may anticipate her nus
band and have "tidying up" spell on
| her own account. The bustling about
| the extra dust-which can always be
raised if one goes the right way to
work-with few gloomy references to
a good clean up" will usually so tire
| him out that he will be only too glad
to allow things to stay as they are, that
he may enjoy a little peace and quiet
ness.-philadelph Times.
|
| An Ideal Hostess.
Opinions differ as TO what constitutes
| IN ;Iao1 boS+aSC hut according 10 q