davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1898-08-06
SMITHS CAKE.
1t Was Something of Surprise When
Served at Dinner.

1t Was Something of a Surprise When
Served at Dinner.
Madam, you don't, know how to
make caken' exclaimed Mr.. Smith,
throwing lump of half cooked dough
across the room at the cat. "YoN never
knew how to make cake. I'd rather eat
wet sawdust. You ought to have seen
the cake my mother made. That was
caker'
Your mother again-always your
mother!'' retorted Mrs. Smith. "Pity
she didn't teach you something"
"What do you mean, madam? I'll
warrant I'll make better cake myself
than you any day"
"Why don't you try? You'll find ev-
erything in the Kitchen"
"Well, can.
"Well, why don't you? You are all
talkn
Smith found himself cornered, and
felt very uncomfortable, as he had Ell
ther to surrender Internationally or to
make good his boast. He had never
made cake in his life, had no idea how
cakes were compounded, but thought he
knew what was in them.
"I'll make the cake,' he said.
"Well, come into the kitchen and
make it," proposed his wife.
"What, now?"
"Yes, now. I'll get the things for
you"
Smith took off his coat, his collar and
necktie and rolled up his shirt sleeves.
They walked to the kitchen together,
and Smith said:
"What shall | mix it imp
"Oh, you're doing it, Mrs. Smith
replied.
"Ah. this will do" he said, taking
up bowl. "Now bring me some water,
now some raisins and currants, sugar
and ginger and allspice. There, that
will do" He put them all into the
bowl and mixed them with a spoon.
"They don't seem to stick together"
he said. Clocks more like thick soup
than anything else. Fancy I've got too
much water" Smith drained off some
of the water and was about to put the
cake into a pan, when his wife said:
"Didn't your mother use four?"
OhS yOo-houAS VA
course Then he mixed in -four until
it was so stiff that he could hardly
knead it, "Now," said he, "I'll take
this cake round to the bakers and have
it baked properly" He started off, and
when he reached the bakers he said:
"Will you just throw this stuff away
and put in its place one of your best
nlnm cakes?'
That night at supper Mrs. Smith had
her mother and sister with her. She
had told them of the cake, and they
were expecting great fun at Smiths ex,
pense. The cake did not come until sup
per time. Smith took it from the boy
and said
"This is my cake-something like
cake' He carried in the cake and
placed it Oh the table.
"Here's note in the paper" said
Mrs. Smith. "I'll read it:
"DEAR SIR-I am sorry we all out OF
plum cake, so send you pound cake instead.
Yours obediently, S. BROWN Baker"
New York Ledger.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1898-08-06
SELECT POETRY
Too Much for Him.

The editor sat in his well worn chair, his head
bowed low on his breast,
The tangled whiskers which frnged his face
clung close to his tattered vest.
He sat rejecting upon his lot, and the signs
which he let escape
Seemed windy evidence that affairs with him
were in desperate shape.
Delinquent subscribers came not in to glad
den his heart with coin,
Twas many a day since he slowed away a
silver piece in his groin,
And his wife had told him that very morn,
with sort of hungry frown,
His Dime sthat day would be eturnips straight
with water to wash them down.
He'd chroniced every birth and death with
comment on each event,
Had "Personaled every man in camp, if he
only a-tishing went;
At every wedding no matter if the bride was
homely fright,
He'd laud her comeliness to the skies, just
hatter her out of sight.
He often said that the minister was Talmage
of eloquence,
lIC vi iiit SpuilS dllol law q
bonanza OF legal sense
In short he'd pulled every living soul, from
the Mayor to hummer jim,
Yet never thank you" had come his way,
not a dollar been thrown to him.
While thus rejecting he heard step and Il
heart-warming "Howdy-do?-
| reckon you're the editor-man; I've bin a
lookin' fur you.
I'm OF Sam Bass, of the Two-N ranch, bin
takln' yer paper year,
An l want you to keep it sldin' along !;
I've got the spondulix here,
| tell you, pardner, the OF Ga?ette is a hummer
from top to toe
My woman says she'll stop keepin' house if
1t stops comm, by Jo!
An that reminds me, | brought crock o
butter of her own make,
An throwed you in Il hindquarter O beef,
ies' sorer for friendships sake.
An Toni guess you remember Tom got
married last week, you know
He told me to tell you that piece you writ
about the affair want slow;
You said his gal was "a rural sprte, with Il
angel brand on her smile,
An here's ten dollars that Tom sent i'll to
show that he likes yer style.
An here''-but the rancher heard a gasp, the
editor toppled DER
And fell with dull and sickening thud on
his den's unexpected floor,
The visitor knelt oer the PROSTATE form and
lifted the helpless head;
But the ten-dollar shock had done its work ,
the editor man was dead
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1898-08-06
Women the Best Conversers.

Of one thing there can be very little
doubt, and that is the greater readiness
in conversation of women than men. A
woman can create conversation, which
is very useful thing and is frequently
found great social difficulty. If we
give man a subject ON which he knows
anything at all, unless he be a fool Or
morbidly reticent, he can talk about it
so as to make himself fairly ineligible,
and perhaps interesting to those for
whom the subject has any interest at
all. Men, when their feeling of enthu-
siasm is excited, throw off the slowness
and hesitation which frequently cramp
their power in society, just as they
throw off the physical infrmity of slut
tering under the influence of some
awakening theme or some strong SYM
pathy
But the power of conversation in
some women, and not always those of
remarkable ability, is the very art of
making bricks without straw. They
will talk to one by the hour about moth
ing-that is, on no particular subject
and with no particular object-and talk
coherently and not foolishly and withal
very pleasantly all the time. 1t would,
we are free to confess, be rather diff
cult for the listener to carry away with
him any mental notes of what has been
said. He may not be conscious of hav-
ing gained any new ideas or of having
had his old ones much enlarged, but he
will rise and go his way, as one does
after light and wholesome meal, SEN
sibly cheered and refreshed, but retain
ing no troublesome memories of the in
gradients which have composed it.
New York Ledger.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1898-08-06
Too Much Culture,

"Aunt Penelope Virgins" as every
body called her, was visited one sum-
mer by niece from the east. Vassar
college graduate. Aunt Penelope was
one of the most hospitable souls alive.
but she was not greatly impressed by
the superior learning of her young rela-
tive, and one day she freed her mind
about her thus:
Talk to me about what college edu-
cation does for girl! What do you
suppose Matilda said to me the first day
she came? She said:
"I'm so glad to meet you, aunty |!
You accent your name on the Aunty
Penultimate, don't you?"
Did you ever hear such nonsense? I
had to tell her my name wasn't Aunty
Penultimate, but Aunty Penelope, and
l thought she would die a-laughing!-
Youths Companion.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1898-08-06
HE HAD LOTS OF SAND
WAS DESPERATELY ANXIOUS TO
FIGHT THE SPANlAROS.

At Least That Is What He Told the Re-
cruiting Officer, but Changed Hi Mind
Somewhat When He Found That the
Army Had Room For Him.
He looked very determined when he
lntered the recruiting office and walked
up to the officer in charge.
1.-The boys down our way" he said,
told me Twas afraid to enlist They've
just been daring me ever since this war
broke out, so something had to be
done.'
"And that's why you're here?" sug-
gested the recruiting officer in tone Of
inquiry.
eyes, sir, that's why I'm here" an
swered the stranger. "There can't any
body take a whack at my patriotism
and my courage and get away with the
bluff. I'm here to git in line to do up
the Spanish, and 1 don't want cny one
to forget it. :"
The officer picked up pen ard pre-
pared to write.
eff you're sure you want to enlist, !"
he said, "why"-
"Sureu' broke in the stranger
"Sure! Well you just bet I'll prove
those fellows liars or know the reason
why. 1 don't think much of war as a
general proposition, but there can't any
body stand around and dare me more n
six or eight times before something hap
pens. Mebbe 1 might have stood what
the boys had to say, but when my wife
told me l was afraid to fight it was just
leetle too much. All I'm afraid Of is
that you won't have me-"
"Ch, We'll take you fast enough, I"
returned the recruiting officer. "Just
give me your name and"-
'Mebbe ought to tell you before you
go too far" interrupted the valiant
youth again, "that l am troubled with
hammer toes-two of 'em, one on each
foot -
"That doesn't make any difference, :"
replied the recruiting officer.
Why-why, l thought hammer toes
interfered with mans ability to
march," suggested the applicant.
at does," admitted the recruiting
officer, "but we'll put you in the cav
airy"
The applicant gave a deep sigh and
suggested that that would suit him first
rate, but that he couldn't ride very WELL
"Never mind" answered the recruit
ing officer. "You can soon learn. Now,
if you will just give me your name I'll
put it down and send you to the doctors
for
"That reminds me-" broke in the
man who wanted to enlist, "that have
been a cigarette smoker for the last ten
years.
"No matter We're not so particular
now as we We're. JUST
II have a weak heart, too, and I'm
rather short winded."
'Oh, that's all right. If ysu're will
ing to take the chances, we are. Just
give me your name and it will be all
right"
The youth gave another long sigh be-
fore answering
"Well, I'll tell you how it u.s., he
said "Mebbe my wife spoke in haste
when she said l was afraid to go. l
guess I'll just run back and ask her
about it before taxing step that she
may regret all her life ''-Chioago Post.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1898-08-06
Life In a Channel Island.

The land of Jersey is in the hands of
a frugal and industrious people, worthy
descendants of the rural populations of
Normandy and Brittany. Not square
inch of ground that does not produce a
potato or cabbage. Prosperity reigns
on all sides. Not one dilapidated house.
In this beehive of an island eyerything
speaks aloud of cleanliness, comfort and
even of riches to those who can under
stand that real wealth does not consist
in the quantity of things we possess,
but in those that we can do without if
need be. Jersey is kitchen garden of
about 20 square miles, picturesque,
healthy, fertile, strewed with cottages
that are wrapped i'll roses~ and when 1
have told you that the cultivation of
the potato alone brings in from 12, 000,-
600 to IA, 600, 900 francs annually-that
is to say, about $4,000, OOO-I shall
have no trouble in convincing you that
poverty is practically unknown in Jer-
sey. Happy Jersey!
Add to this that, with the exception
of wine and liqueurs, which pay light
duty, all kinds of merchandise enter
Jersey untaxed; that living is conse-
quently very cheap; that the income
tax collector is unknown; that q crowd
of tourists visit the isle during four
months of the year; that activity reigns
everywhere, not the feverish activity of
the Americans, but the regular, uni
form, intelligent activity of the French;
that the soil is so fertile that flowers
and fruits seem to spring from it as by
enchantment; that the landscape is
most picturesque and varied; that the
climate is delicious, and you will con-
olude that Jersey is probably the Ell
Dorado of the world and the Jersey
folk, as | said before, the richest and
happiest people on the surface of the
globe. O'Rell in North American
Review.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1898-08-06
Wasted.

A lad in one of the London board
schools was found guilty of serious in
fraction of discipline and was directed
by his teacher to tell his mother when
he got home what misdemeanor he had
committed
The next morning the schoolmistress
called Johnnie to her desk, when the fol-
lowing dialogue ensued:
well, Master Johnnie, did you in
form your mother what refraction of
discipline you We're guilty of yesterday
and the reprimand and punishment you
received"
"Yes'm, " was the sententious reply.
well, and what did your mother
say?'
"She said she'd like to wiring your
neck for you. 3"
No more discipline reports were sent
home to that mother. Pearson 8
Weekly
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1898-08-06
Flint Sparks.

Words that wedge friendship apart
are often put in edgeways.
Jealousy is loves tonic, but no tonic
will take the place of ones meals.
When a man borrows trouble, he asks
all his friends to go on his note.
No woman is proof against flattery,
and no f1atterer is proof against woman
When woman is tired of her hus-
bands love, let her try to convince him
that she is no better than he is.
Life is like circus-you will gen.
orally get more fun out Of it if you
don't count too much on the side shows.
New York Press
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1898-08-06
. HOLE Nunpnn, 1898.
COURAGE.

1t is not they that never knew
Weakness or fear who are the brave
Those are the proud, the knightly few
Whose Joy is still to serve and save
Bat they who in the weary night
Amid the darkness and the stress
Have struggled with disease and blight
With pitiful world WEAKNESS,
They who have yearned to staNd h. nong
The free and mighty of the earth,
Whose sad, aspiring souls are wrung
With starless hope and hollow mirth,
Who die with every day, yet live
Through merciless, unbrightened years,
Whose sweetest right is to forgive
And smile divinely through thef tears.
They are the noble, they the strong,
They are the tried, the trusted ones,
And though their way is hard and long,
Straight to the pitying God it runs.
-Harper's Weekly.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1898-08-06

Aunt Maria-Whatl Mary. cannot
you comb your own hair yet?
Mary-No'm. amt big enough.
Aunt Maria-Your size has nothing
to do with your being able to comb your
hair.
Mary-Yes, it has. I amt tall
enough to look on the top of my head
New York Tribune.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1898-08-06
borrowers of Tobacco.

There are some smokers who do not
buy tobacco or cigars more than once a
year., There is probably no other article
which is so often borrowed and not re-
paid as tobacco. A wit in this city once
said in newspaper paragraph, "The
American people last year used 50,00O.-
900 pounds of chewing tobacco, half Of
which they borrowed. There is almost
as much truth as fun in that assertion.
Chicago Chronicle.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1898-08-06
Failed to Grasp the Subject.

"What a grasping fellow you are,
Hawkins! You've bothered me about
this bill SO times in 10 days"
"You wrong me, farley. I'm not
grasping. I've bothered you about the
BILL l admit, but l haven't been able to
grasp anything yet. STRAY Stories.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1898-08-06
His Clew.

Burbank You say that you never
saw that man before, and yet you think
he has been married about 10 months.
I'd like mighty well to know what
there is about him to make you arrive
nt such conclusion?
Sherlock Holmes, Jr.-Watch him
closely, and you will notice that he
starts at every sound as if he were afraid
it would wake the baby.-Cleveland
Leader.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1898-08-06
A Fine Morning.

"Fine morning, your worship" af-
fably ren arked the man who had been
arrested the night before for being
drunk and disorderly.
Eyes, indeed. responded the justice.
"quite fine morning-in fact. a $40
fine morning. boston Traveller.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1898-08-06
Sunday Schedule.
No. S

In addition No. 8 leaves Piedmont S:45 a. m. ;
arrives FrOstburg l0:44 a. m, and No. q leaving
FrOStburg 2:OO p. m, reaches Piedmont 3:02 p
m, stopping at all intermediate stations
*On theatre nights, when admission tickets
are sold by Agents to performance at theatre,
leave Cumberland at close of performance.
All trains stop at Hays street station, Cum
berland
Nos. l, 2, 4, 5, 8 and 9daily except Sunday.
Nos. and Z run Tuesdays, Thursdays and
Saturdays only.
L. M. HAMILTON,
March 26 Superintendent.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1898-08-06
Another Spanish AtrocIty,

81 never saw anybody hate the Span.
iards like my wife,
"What makes her feel that way?"
"She got to reading war news the
other day and let a lot of raspberry jam
burn up Chicago Record.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1898-08-06
Pittsburg Division.

*Except Sunday. Nos 46 and Al carry
passengers. No. II is local train from Cum
herland to Pittsburg and No. IA from Pitts.
burg to Cumberland. Nos 5 and make 3
stops each way between Cumberland and
Pittsburg. Nos IA and Is are new trains
will not be put on until June 20.
~ Through tickets, east and west, for
sale at Cumberland.
M, C. CLARKE,
VIM. M. GREENE, Ticket Agent.
General Manager. d. B. MARTIN,
May 2S Manager Passenger Traffic.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1898-08-06
Worse fhan a Bill Collector.

Whats the matter, old man? You
look hot and excited"
"Just been trying to dodge cross
eyed girl OH bicycle. detroit Free
Press
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1898-08-06
The Disbursement of Carlos.

The Encouragement of Carlos.
I'm out of the pretending line.
1t is a sad position,
But 'mOngst these cOuntrymen of mine
There's too much competition.
Washington Star.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1898-08-06
Fixing the Blame.

Parson White-Whut wuz de cause
of yo' bein shot, br'er Johnsing?
Br'er Johnsing-Waal, pahson, dere
wuz tree causes-two pullets an ban
tam hen.-Up to Date.
The Dalles daily chronicle. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1948, 1898-12-17

Long ago-in 1S63-64-there was no
cable between Europe and America.
Our transatlantic news-even during
the exciting episodes of the civil war
was always about fortnight old.
The attempt to make cable connection
had ended disastrously-and in this
junction cf affairs was organized a gil
gantic enterprise, looking to the con-
nection of the United States with Eu-
rope via Kiondil1e and Behring seal
Most electricians and telegraphie ex-
perts had made up their minds that 40
miles-which was the distance across
the strait-represented the longest a
submarine cable could be successfully
worked.
A company was formed, and what
was known in those days as Russian
Extension stock went off at premium
of 60 per cent. In 1865 the line be-
tween New Westminster and the Yukon
river was surveyed, found to be prac-
ticable and traversed completely the
present Klondil1e region.
The line was expected to be finished
in 1867. Even the tariff for messages
was fixed at SIS f$25) per message
The receipts were estimated to yield
ABOUT pS-OOO,OUO per annum. Inc line
was actually constructed from New
Westminster along the present route
of the Canadian Pacific railway to Ash
croft, where it was continued north
toward Behring sea to Fort Stager,
300 or 400 miles beyond Quesnelle. This
line is at this present moment in OPP
Grafton in portion of the Cariboo coun-
try.
Then. in the midst of the whole bust
ness, after three years of hard work,
came like thunderclap the news that
the Atlantic cable was success. Three
million dollars had been expended; yet
the next day Russian Extension stock
was not worth the printers ink on its
surface.
Some day-who knows ?-this Russo
American via Kondike cable scheme
may be revived. In view of the COM
mercial growth of China and Janan Ito
say nothing of eastern Russia), why
should it not be now?-London Mail.
The Dalles daily chronicle. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1948, 1898-12-17
SPILLED HER LUNCH.
Sorry Accident to n Stylish Young
Woman in a Street Car.

Sorry Accident to n Stylish Young
Woman in a Street Car.
The passengers on an early-morning
train connecting with this city were
treated to thoroughly enjoyable scene
the other morning, says the Brooklyn
Enterprise. At one of the small sta
tions a young lady boarded the train.
She was dressed rather stylishly, but
a veil covered rather plain face. She
switched down the aisle like a queen.
She barely deigned to glance at the
other passengers in the car and when
she did her nose rose pereeptibly at the
tip in a manner that spread the impress
sion of contempt.
She carried a Boston bag and the air
of millionaire. There was but one
seat vacant. This was beside q good
looking, nicely dressed young man who
was reading paper.
When she came to this seat she
Topped down heavily and tossed her
bag to the seat between herself and the
young man. Two seconds later the
young man leaped from his seat and
a string of earnest words of doubtful
origin fell from his lips like vipers from
the lips of the young woman in the
fable
The startled passengers looked to see
what had caused this outburst. They
saw-and then they laughed. The nice
looking Boston. bag contained an ordi.
nary. everyday working girl lunch
One of its features was a jar of cof-
fee, which had broken in the descent
and flowed freely over the young mans
new fall coat and trousers.
He went into the smoking car, swear
ing profusely. She murmured a weak
apology and spent her time in mopping
up the seat
The Dalles daily chronicle. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1948, 1898-12-17
AN ENORMOUS SAPPHIRE.
Bright Gem from CcJion Now in LOn-
don Weighs c3S narats.

Bright Gem from Ccyion Now in Lon
don Weighs G3S Ekarats.
The London Times tells of a Ceylon
sapphire in that city, the property of
Mai Gen. Robley, which is not less re-
markable for it's size thar for it's trans
lucency and the b. illiance of the op-
tical effects it can show. The weight
of the gem is 63s karats and it is of a
dark, milky blue color, perfectly trans
parent and flawless.
Large sapphires have been known, but
they have usually, if not always, been
dull and muddy, instead of having the
clear, translucent color of this speci-
men. But in addition it possesses a
property occasionally found in slightly
cloudy or milky Ceylon sapphires-and
sometimes in other gems, too-which
greatly enhances it's value in the eyes
of believers in the occult powers of
precious stones to confer health and
good fortune on their wearers. 1t is q
star sapphire, or astoria. That is, be-
ing cut en- cabochon, it displays beau
tiful opalescent star, dividing it's six
rays at the apex, which changes its po-
sition according to the movement of the
source of light by which it is viewed.
By employing two or three sources of
light, two or three of these stars can be
simultaneously seen in the gem.
By further cutting it is said that the
beauty of this stone could be still more
increased, but, of course, at the expense
of its size.