davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1898-09-02
READY TO TAKE HIS GALL.
The Surprising oGer Of n B,n,,.,,,
souiiess Creditor Mt an As
signment Meeting.

~ NOT long ago a substantial looking Nav
iorker came to Chicago to engage in The re-.
tall cigar business lie had seemingly sood
credentials and rented an attractive little
store on the North side, buying his fixtures
on credit, On the same terms he laid in onite
q large stock OF goods and opened his doors
LOT patronage. lie seemed to be doing Quito
good business and none of his numerous
creditors manifested the least alarm as to
tue safety OF their accounts. Suddenly he
made an assignment. His creditors were
notihed and full meeting was held in the
oihce OF his attorney, the sorrowful bank.
rupit not being present with them.
The attorney made polite and pacific
speech: An eastern creditor, who had Sc.
cured Judgment on a fraudulent claim, had
attached and carried away everything OK.
cept 30 cigars and $3.50 in money. The un.
fortunate debtor owed over So, 600 to the men
present, which he would liquidate at the
earliest possible moment.
MY. client suffers far more acutely than
any OF you," continued the lawyer. ole
has surrendered all that he possesses. II is
not much, 1t is true, but | trust it will serve
as an earnest OF his future intentions. He
Is crushed by his misfortune and would
willingly divide his body among you"
Whats that" asked somewhat deal
old man, experimenting his right ear with
his broad palm.
MY client is willing to divide his very
body among you, repeated the attorney
"'All right" responded the old man, "I'l
take his gall!'-Chicago Chronicle.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1898-09-02

Many delightful summer resorts are sit.
uated on and reached via the Southern Rail
way. Whether one desires the seaside OF
the mountains, the fashionable hotels OF
country homes, they can be reached via this
magnificent highway OF travel.
Ashevile, n. c., Roam Mountain, Tenn.
and the mountain resorts Of east Tennessee
and western North Carolina "The Land OF
the Sky''-Tate Springs, Tenn, Lookout
Mountain, Tenn, Lithia Springs, Ga, and
various Virginia Springs, also the seashore
resorts, are reached by the Southern Rail
way on convenient schedules and at very
low rates.
The Southern Railway has issued hand
some folder, entitled Summer Homes anC
Resorts" descriptive of nearly one thousand
summer resorts, hotels and boarding houses
including information regarding rates 70,
board at the different places and railroad
rates TO reach them.
Write to c. A. Benscoter, Assistant Gen
eral Passenger Agent, Southern Railway
Chattanooga, Tenn, for copy of this folder
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1898-09-02

ears drapped, and never SO much as
move his TAIL no matter how many flies
was bitn him. was fur leadin' him
off into the bresll and shootin' him,
but every time got ready to do it the
ole woman says to me:
ago let that critter alone, Zeb. The
Lawd never made nuthin' in vain, and
this yere critter may hev come to us
fur some special purpose
Zone day, as the mewl was stnndin'
over by the stump, his nose almost
down to the ground, and his eyes shet
and his back bumped up, Jim Cassman,
who'd put in third of the money for
the still, comes Dustin out Of the woods
TO tell me that four revenoo fellers was
slyin' about and VIZ was done fur.
was powerfully upset and was fur run
min away, but the queer thing spoke
about happened jest then TO hold me
yere. Half mile up the hill was a big
bee-tree. I'd knowcd about it fur three
years, and | was pldnnin' to cut II down
that fall. The bees had got too plenty,
and on the day I'm speakin of one
half driv the other half out. The swarm
that was driv out came sailin' over the
bresh and right down into the yard.
They first figured TO light on plum
tree, but, seem the mewl close by they
changed the programme and settled
down on him. In about two minits he
was kivered from head to heel, and he
was the funniest lookn objict yo' ever
saw. / can't Jest fggcr out how many
bees there was in that swarm. but all
we could see of the critter was his
hoofs. Me and Jim was fur THROWN
clubs and drivin' the mewl away, but
the ole woman comes out and says:
"'Yo' jest come into the house and
shet the doahs and winders and leave
It all 10 the Lawd I'm stickin' right
to It that the critter amt yere fur
nuthn'."
I'VE went inside and watched what
wou,I happen. You'd a thought that
Die mule would hcv been surprised
and showed il, but he never moved an
cn-. 1t was all the same to him, bees
or no bees. In about ten mints up
romcs fo' men, and any baby could hev
,een they was revenoo officers lookin'
far that still. When they caught sight
of the mewl they stopped short, and
one OF them says:
"'Wall. I've lived fur nigh upon fo'ty
years, and I've seen every critter that
walks or flies or swims, but on my
word | never did see such a varmint
as that bcfo' 1t must be some new
tricl. of old Zeb Whites to beat the
ievanoo.
"AIl of EN- had their say about il as
they stood around, and nobody could
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1898-09-02

Jest make ont what II was, Rlmeby
| thought l could see the nevis bach
begin 10 hump up, but he was takin'
lots of time about II, MS II he hadnt
made up his mind whether 10 hump or
not.
"'I'll tell yo' what's gwine to hap
pen,' whispers the ole woman, MS she
looks over my shoulder, Them bees
will keep quiet as long as the mewl
does, but il that critter humps up his
back and gives a shake You see
scatterution in no time
at was simply funny" laughed the
old man, as he htched nearer the fire
to lift up fallen brand with the tongs,
Them revenoo fellers kept gittin
cluser and cluser, and bimeby the
mewl must hey made out that they
was strangers and had some curiosity
about 'om. His back kept slowly
rlsin', and when he'd bumped it up
till it looked like a camel all to once
he give hisself shake and seemed to
jump two feet into the air. 1t was a
dyin' struggle. When he come down
he fell over and kicked once or twice
and was dead Well, sab, that shake
and jump O. his loosened every bee and
made 'eln mad as cats, and they went
sailn' around like snowAakes in
blizzard"
And they went for the revenue
men?" queried.
"Lawd, sab, but how they did go fur
EN-! They was the only Twin things
around, and them bees was bound to
git up row with sunthin' or some
body. Them fellers made fur the cab
in, but we wouldn't let 'em in, and
they turned and went down the road.
Sich high jumpin' never did see, and
sich whoops and yells | never heard
oefo' from any mortal men. was fur
goin' out and doin' sunthin', but the
ole woman stood agin the doah and
said
"Zeb White, the Lawd has brung all
this about that yo' may git that still
off into the bresh, and don't yo' be no
fule and interfere
"As them revenoo chaps took to
their heels it appeared to us as il each
one was fghtin' peek of bees. They
run two miles and turned in at Moo
dy's, and not one of EN- got out o the
house fur two long weeks, They was
stung in hundred places, and the
pizeh swelled 'em up till they almost
busted. We had that still in ravine
two miles away long 'nuif befo' any OF
em was able to crawl out, and the ole
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1898-09-02
,*S~%~%~~N.>.As~.A.r
'POSSUM TALKS !
7 leb Whites light Fix, and How the \
J Mule Helped Him Out of II.
I Copyright. 1903, By n. QUAD.

just at dark mountaineer brought
two-gallon jug of moonshine whisky
to the cabin, and when he had departed
l asked Zeb White n number of ques.
tions which brought out the following
story.
Il knowed it was agin the law to
make whisky, OF co'se," he began,
put 20 see our con had no market UNI
less we made it up that way. Thar
was half dozen stills around me be-
TO went into it, and hung of long
while on the old woman's account. she
was MORALLY afraid of them revenoo
officers, and she kept saying to me;
"Zeb, yo' jest tend to possums,
coons and woodchucks and let the
moonshine bizness alone. Them reve-
moo fellers is bound to git yo' if yo'
don't, and the law will send yo' to pris-
on and make me wilder fur three or
TO years!'
II knowed she was right, but some of
the men around yere kept pesterin' me
to go in with them and buy still, and
at last | consented. Lawd, save yo',
but what time we had of 1t backin'
the stuff up yere over the hills! We
was all near dead when we got the last
piece up, and the revenoo fellers was so
thick that we hid the hull thing in the
thicket back of the cabin for two
months. They'd got track of our still
and was on the hunt for il. and il it
hadn't bin fur mighty queer thing
happenfn' one day, they'd hev found
1t fur shore"
The old man relighted his pipe with u
coal of fire and continued:
"A year befo' we got the still bought
n mewl of n Teller who was moyin' over
into North Keerleeny. That was the
most shamefaced, shackelty mewl
ever heard tell ~. He'd bin bit by a
snake and lost all his sperits and most
of his flesh. Il had him fur three
months befa. he die!, and durin' that
time he never lfrayed once. When u
mewl won't bray he amt iittin' fur to
be anything on the face of this airth
| That critter would stand out in the
sun fur hours at time, head down
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1898-09-02
PRESENCE OF MIND.
No Was a Keen Roy and Was Equal
TO the Occasion When Caught
at Mischief.

Tie farmer crept stealthily along behind
the fence. Step by step he advanced, always
with his gaze fastened upon the cherry tree,
in the distance.
"Gol durn them town boys, anyway" he
muttered to himself, as he took a frmer grip
upon the ugly.loobing switch that he had
cut from the hickory back of the barn, "I'll
show 'em!"
Nearer and nearer he drew to the spot
where the engagement was to occur, Softly,
like tiger advancing upon its prey, he
edged along through the weeds, from one
fence corner to another.
Meanwhile the boy in the tree kept crook
ing his elbow at 80 knot clip. The cherries
were large and fat and red, and he had a
wonderful tonnage. Ever and anon he would
smack his lips, and eject handful of stones
from his mouth. Ii was glorious.
Suddenly a rugged form seemed to rise up
out of the ground, and somebody bawled in
tones that were husky with emotion:
Here, drat your hide, what are you aoin'
up there?"
II was one Of those moments when word
may win all or cause all to be lost.
The boy dropped the biggest, reddest,
juicest cherry that he had been able to
reach, pulled himself together, drew his bare,
brown legs mp under him, and replied;
I'm rememberin' the Maine"
When he could speak again the farmer
said
"If they amt enough here fer you, there's
another nice tree full of 'em, up yonder in
| the orchard" Leader.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1898-09-02
THE DIGNIFIED WOMAN.
She Was n Little Severe on the Curi'
Gus Woman, Hut She Was
Provoked.

She is dignifed woman, and sometimes
she is overpowering. The unwary do not
perceive this quickly, however. The dig.
nifed woman has been spending some time
in one of the hospitals Of this city. She
went there for rest and quiet. Since she
has recovered her health she tells some
amusing stories of her experiences. Here
is one
The dignifed woman was walking down
the hall one day when she was accosted by
the curious woman. The curious woman
had been wondering about the dignifed
woman, and she said;
81 beg your pardon, madam, but would
like to know what you have been operated
on for?"
"What?" exclaimed the dignifed woman
"Well, explained the curious woman, "my
friend in the next room and have been
wondering about you. You walk about the
hall with such light and springy stcp that
we wonder about what kind OF an operation
you have undergone"
The curious woman held her ground She
was determined to know what was the mat
ter with the dgnifed woman.
The dignihed woman replied:
Il have not been operated upon yet"
"Oh!" said the curious woman, sympa.
! thetically.
'No, am not familiar with operations"
said the dignifed woman.
,, The curious woman interrupted: "They
are very successful here. Don't be wor.
ried."
81 am wondering about an operation on
| the BRAIN" said the dignifed woman, in a
very dgnifed and distant manner. 81 won
der if they could operate upon the brain in
such way as to enable people to attend to
their own affairs"
The curious woman snorted and walked
away in high dudgeon.
The dignifed woman was severe, il is true,
but she was provoked to it-St. Louis Re.
public,
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1898-09-02

woman Put in most of her ti'ue helpin'
Mrs. Moody make poultices and pick
ont stingcrs. was down there to
bid 'em good-by the day they went
away, and the boss of the crowd had
a nip OF my first run of moonshins
whisky and then said to me:
"Zeb White, I'm n man as is sworn
to do my duty by Uncle Sam. but II
yo've still up yere, and I'm shore
yo' hev, go ahead and run it and be
hanged to yo'.'"
And they never bothered you
again?" asked.
Not that crowd laughed Zcb.
They told it around that kept
bees on tap to let loose on EN-, and il
they got within TO miles of the house
and heard bug buzzin' they'd go gal,
lopin' away like so many colts"
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1898-09-02

the severity Of the disease or the prompt
and perfect cure performed by DR.. Ayers
Pills. Similar results occur in every case
where DR.. Ayers Pills are used. They
helped me right away" Is the common
expression OF those who have used them:
Here is another testimony TO the truth OF
this statement;
"I formerly suffered from indigestion
and weakness OF the stomach, but since 1
began the use OF DR.. ]. {. Ayers PITS,
have the appetite OF the farmers boy. !
am 46 years OF age, and recommend all
who wish TO be free from dyspepsia 10
take one OF DR., Ayers Pills after dinner,
till their digestive organs are in good
order."-wM. STEISKE, Grant, Neb.
DR.. Ayers Pills offer the surest and
swiitest relief from constipation and all
its attendant ills. They cure dizziness,
nausea, heartburn, palpitation, bad breath,
coated tongue, nervousness, sleeplessness,
biliousness, and a score of other affections
that are, after all, only the signs OF a more
deep rooted disease. You can find more
information about DR.. Ayers Pills, and the
diseases they have cured, in Ayers Cure
book, a story OF cures told Ivy the cured.
This book OF 100 pages Is sent free, ON
request, by the ]. c. Aver Co., Lowell, Mass.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1898-09-02
SKILL OF DOCTORS TESTED.
Fifteen Years of Suffering.
81 thought should surely die"

When the stomach begins 10 fail In
It's duties, other organs speedily become
affected In sympathy, and life is simply
burden almost uubearable. Indigestion
and dyspepsia are so common that only
the sufferer from these diseases knows
the possibilities Of misery that inhere in
them. A typical example Of the sutferings
OF the victim OF indigestion is furnished
In the case of John c. Pritchard. He went
on for fifteen years, from bad to worse
In spite OF doctors he grew constantly
weaker, and thought he would die. He
got we'll, however, and thus relates his
experience:
"For fifteen years was great sufferer
from indigestion in its worst forms.
tested the skill OF many doctors, but grew
worse and worse, until l became so weak
! could not walk fifty yards without having
to sit down and rest. My stomach, liver.
and heart became affected, and thought l
would surrey die. tried DR., ], c. Ayers
Pills and ney helped me right away, I
continued their use and am now entirely
we'll. I don't know OF anything that win
so quickly relieve and cure the terrible
sufferings of dyspepsia as DR.. Ayers
Pills."-JoHN c. PRITcHARD, Brodie, War
rem Co.. N. c.
This case Is not extraordinary, either In
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1898-09-02
lie Had n Bill.

First Swell Here comes Lunncut,
the tailor. He looks as if he intended
to speak to us.
Second Swell (nervously) - Let's
turn into this side street and hide in
the alleyway. | don't like to asso-
eiate with people in trade.-N. Y.
Weekly.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1898-09-02
A Philippine Heroine.

One of the Philippine insurgent leaders is
q beautiful woman whose life seems to be
charmed. She has often rushed brayeIy into
the very teeth of death from guns and can
non, but has never been wounded, Ere
quently we see people in this country who
also but the only charm about it is that
they keep up their strength and vitalize
their blood with that celebrated remedy,
Hostetter's Stomach Bitters.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1898-09-02
Not Afraid Then.

Little Georgie-Do your folks ever
have family prayers before break
fast?
Little Albert-No; we only have
prayers when we go to bed We amt
afraid in the daytime. = Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1898-09-02
War to the Death.

The slaughter was frightfu.
thousands.
The crash OF matter and the wreck Of ma.
teria,l bore. testimony to the awful work that
had been done!
But the end was not yet, for Mrs. O'Hooli
han, with her insect destroyer in hand, con
tinued to pass to and fro among the detached
pieces of furniture, Staying without mercy
and spraying with fierceness that betrayed
long suffering and grim determination &c
end it, even il the cost should mount up Il
4 quarter Leader
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1898-09-02
Try AIlen.a Enni-lCaAC.

A powder to be shaken into the shoes. At
this season your feet feel swollen, nervous
and hot, and get tired easily. If you have
smarting feet or tight shoes, try Aliens
Foot Ease. It cools the feet and makes walk
ing easy. Cures swollen and sweating feet,
bisters and calloussp spots. Relieves corns and
bunions of all pain and gives rest and comfort.
Try 1t to-day Sold by all druggists and shoe
stores for Csc. Trial package FREE. Ad-
dress, Allen S. Olmsted lie Roy, N. Y.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1898-09-02

DR.. Mo6ed's TEETHINA (Ttethin0 POM
ders) is the preparation that has gained so
much reputation in all our large cities in
saving the lives of Teething Children and so
diminishing their mortality. and no Mother
should fail to use them if she desires to pre-
serve the life Of her!ittlc one, TEETHINA Aids
Digestion, Regulates the Bowels and makes
teethinp easy
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1898-09-02
In n Kentucky Town,

Visitor-What was the strength of
the regiment you sent to the front
from here?
Native-Four hundred and eighty
six colonies, so generals, 140 majors
and six privates.-N. Y. Truth.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1898-09-02
A Liberal Supply Needed.

"There's one thing, dear George" she
wrote, that you mustn't forget. Stand on
tiptoe when those great guns go off and stuff
your ears full of cotton. Don't forget the
cotton when you pass through the south.
Get two bales while you are about it,"
lered what she meant.-Cleveland Plain
Dealer
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1898-09-02

The Flight of Tmc.-"How time flies"
she exclaimed sadly. Here am &c years
old, and it seems but yesterday that |
was 49," Her husband, understand, was
one OF those insensate brutes; not for years
had he tod his wife how nice she looked in
her tea gown until after he had figured up
all the batting averages in the National
league. How long is i actually" he asked,
now.-Detroit journal.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1898-09-02
An IrnLIcsh Affair.

Smith-0ld Graspey invited me to
take lunch with him yesterday.
Joncs-Did, Ell? suppose there was
no end to the good things you had to
eat.
Smith-Right you are. There was
neither beginning nor an end to
them.
Jones-Why, what did you have?
Smith-Pretzels. - Chicago Daily
News.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1898-09-02
PERIODS OF PAIN.

Menstruation, the balance wheel OF
woman's life, is also the bano of exist
cnce to many because it means time Of
great suffering.
While no woman 10 entirely free from
periodical pein, it does rot seem to have
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1898-09-02
Sure Ennuchi

Mrs. Hoon-Why isn't this war prosecuted
more rapidly?
Hoon-Why, you Gee, my dear, we can't
lick the Spaniards any faster than we can
catch theml-Puck.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1898-09-02
A CuriO,

Browne-They make those folding
beds to resemble everything now
Towne-Yes; even saw one the
other day that resembled bed
brooklyn Life.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1898-09-02
Market Fluctuations.

"She told me her heart and hand were
priceless" -.
"What did you say?"
az told her would 90 off somewhere
and wait until she sent me word that they
were marked down" indianapolis Jour.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1898-09-02

Woman's Failing.-"Wome have so little
originality" IL presume you are talking
about some one woman" yep. | have
proposed to her four times, and each time
she has told me il was so sudden. Indian
apolis journal.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1898-09-02
Queered Himself.

ooh, mamma, l fear the duke is not high.
born, after ALL"
why, Maud?"
1--WE were talking of the mootcd Anglo.
American alliance and he said something
about our common blood "-Indianapols
.Joi,rnal
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1898-09-02

Questionable Success. -Dixon-"How did
IINckwrite's new play take in London?"
llixon-"lIe writes me that it met with un.
heard.of success" Dixon-"Is that so?"
Hixon-"Yes: after the first night it was
never heard Of again. Chicago News.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1898-09-02
Wheat 40 Cents n BuHheI.

How to grow wheat with big profit at 40
cents and samples of Salzer's Red Cross $50
Bushels per acre. Winter Wheat, Rye, Oats,
Clovers, etc., with Farm Seed Catalogue for
4 cents postage. JOHN A. SALZER SEED
CO., La Crosse, Wis h
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1898-09-02

Teacher-Now can any of you give any
proofs of your own that the world is not
fiat?
Little Tommy-Please, sir, if il was you
could see the north pole with telescope
Puck.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1898-09-02

81 hope" said Newpop. chat IL the
Spaniards lombard New York, they will
do it in the daytime" $50 that you can
dodge" "No. So they will not wake the
baby."-Town Topics.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1898-09-02

The trouble is, when thing has occurred
often enough that you decide it has become
rule, something happens to change the
whole Observation-Disclosures Qa.) Demo
GRAFT
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1898-09-02

Quality, price and advertising. And the
greatest of these isn't either quality OF price,
although il takes combination of al. three
to win.-L A. w. Bulletin
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1898-09-02

No worder so many bank clerks go away,
because they all have such chequeered ca
reers-L. A. w. Bulletin.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1898-09-02

Bcnham-'T see that your mother brought
her trunk Mrs. Benham-"Yes." Ben
ham-"Well, she didn't need to do that to
prove that she was an elephant on our
hands. Town Topics.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1898-09-02
Don't You Slecpf

Does your Head Ache? Somnf Caffein
rures instantly. All druggists. 25 cents. DR..
Paxton Medical Co.. POI River St. Troy, n. Y.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1898-09-02

One reason why at pays to be honest is
because there is less competition along that
line L. A. w. Bulletin.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1898-09-02

Health is greater than wealth. Next tC
it is a disposition to smile under cloud Of
debts.-Atchson Globe.