The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1898-01-20
MAN UNDER THE BED.
BY CHARLES b. LEWIS.

the army, at the age of 90, and set up
in bachelor apartments in town, he had
several things to pride himself about.
He had made ali honorable record. No
one in the Northrop family had ever
disgraced the name. His windows were
provided with burglar proof locks of his
own invention, and he had sang froid
which nothing could startle him out of.
The colonel was we'll satisfied with him
self and the world at large, and those
who knew him best said he ought to be.
At midnight one night Colonel North
rop came home from his club in his usu
al good humor, and, finding couple Of
letters on his table, sat down to read
them before going to bed. When finally
ready to retire, he was half asleep, and
he was no sooner between the sheets
than he departed for the land of nod.
just one hour later by the clock he
opened his eyes and sat up i'll bed,
thing which hadn't happened since his
boyhood days.
Some sound had disturbed him, but
just what it was he could not tell. The
ence him aroused his ire, and after a
moment he sprang out of bed and lighted
the gas. He meant to make tour of his
rooms and see if his celebrated burglar
proof window locks We're all right, but
as he was ready to move he was jumped
a foot high by the sound of sneeze I'M
der his bed 1t was a man S sneeZe-a
hearty, wholesome sneeZe with note
of defiance in it. The colonel had boast
ed that nothing could startle him out Of
his everyday placidity, but "a mere sneeze
had done it, and he was furious about
it. He dropped on his knees and looked
under the bed, and what he saw was
man stretched at full length on the floor.
"Hal You rascal but I've got you'll"
exclaimed the warrior as he made out
the form of the intruder.
81 guess not, colonel, F." was the cool
reply.
An army revolver, endeared by old
associations, reposed III IA drawer not
far away, and the colonel jumped for it
and said:
"Now, then, you roll out here or I'll
blow your head off -
$50 q little slow, colonel" replied
the man under the bed. I've also got
a gun, and tie instant you stoop down
I'll send u bullet into you.
"You-you will?"
II will for sure, and / guess II shoot
at one of your legs as it is. y
Acting on the impulse of the moment,
the colonel lrang upon his bed, but %
seconds lat, be was so mad to think
he had jumped that he leaped to the
floor with the exclamation;
Come out here now or you are a
dead man p
chats all bluff, colonel, = said the
intruder. Pull On your trousers and sit
down and take things cay
The colonel ob,yed lie obeyed be-
didn look dignfied without trousers
and that he would need them anyway
when he came to escort the man out
doors and hand him over to the police.
He sat down because his knees trem-
bled under him and that very fact made
him boil over with anger and chagrin.
With the revolver pointed under the
bed he queried
"When did you get into this room?"
About O'Clock, colonel. "
How did you get in?''
Through that window to your left.
You thought yourself smart when you
put that wo' derful catch on the sashes,
but it did not bother me five minutes.
l wish all windows were provided with
such soft snap. "
Il say you never got in by that Win
dow" shouted the colonel, who had re-
peatedly told his friends that he would
give any bu liar leave to work On his
patent all night
"Then I'm liar and you are gen
tleman! However, don't blame you
for feeling bit sore. / heard of your
patent and your boasting long ago, and
l knew could take you down peg
when / had few MINUTES to spare. 1t
was easy, colonel, dead easy"
"Bnt what are you IN here for"
Robbery, colonel That's my trade,
you know. | had Il pal with me who
took off bag OF stuff, while | staid be-
hind to inv estigate further and was
hidden under the bed when you came
in. | was about to crawl out and 20
through your clothes when you awoke. "
"Now, then, are you coming out?'
Numbered the colonel
well, hardly-not just yet. y
"Then III shoot you where you are. "
"No, you won't The minute | see
your legs NOV ing ! shall olen fire ON
them. rel. whore you sit your bullets
can t reach me, while have dead sure
thing on your legs. Go slow, colonel. "
The colonel was up ON strategic posi-
lions, and be realized that the enemy
had all the advantage. While furiously
angry, be retained all his common sense
and figured that he must temporlze.
If he was to capture instead of being
captured, he must resort TO diplomacy,
He Therefore controlled himself 70 say:
"1 on hlnt see tLat you cannot es-
cape. and it will lie better II you quiet
~ SURRENDER
I he, where we differ, colonel.
calmly replied the man under the led.
IAN | have to 90 is to shoot you through
the legs ana make my way out by the
window. 1t depends on you, however,
What's the use Of being so ptppcry
about trities: a man OF your uge and
habits should have perfect control over
himself -
"You villainl' Missed the colonel be-