The herald., 1898-10-26
JOKES OF A POET
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In the aftermath of "reminiscences of Eu-
gene Field, Of which the newspapers have
been filed, appear the following anecdotes
of the western poet by Francis Wilson, the
comedian:
Field was an inveterate practical Joker,
but his jokes had the rare quality Of en-
dearing him all the more to those upon
whom they were practiced. It was waggery,
pure, but not always simple, for it was often
times of the most elaborate character, fanci-
fully conceived and carefully wrought. 1t
seldom stung and it rarely failed to tickle.
One felt fattered to be the object of so
much time, attention and skill as his con-
ceits frequently involved.
Field was very fond of the proprietor Of a
certain underground bookshop in Chicago,
and the feeling was cordially reciprocated.
He would go down to this place of an even
ing. When the doors were closed the pro-
prietor and he would repair to the back Of
the shop, and Field would put his feet upon
the table and sing old songs and tell stories
at the top of his tremendous voice. He said
of this friend, with genial satire, that he had
in him "the making of a delightfully."- un-
scrupulous and successful robber." A trip
from his home on the north side to the city
proper always included a visit to the Book
Shop" which meant impromptu utterances
with congenial folk on books and collectors.
Indeed, it was in this underground shop, at
the corner of Madison and State streets,
that the gathering began of the Saints and
Sinners club. Field would come in in his
boyish, breezy way, and talk at the custom
ers, fashioning his remarks to their sup
posed character, of which, as it often proved,
he was an excellent offhand Judge.
Now he would stifien the back of strait
laced dame by demanding, in loud voice,
an uneXpurgated copy of Mrs. Hemans'
poems; or, if the visitor scanned the theo-
logical books, perhaps Field would declare
that Paine's age of Reason" was orthodox
by comparison with the religious belief to
which he surmised the newcomer adhered.
This rarely failed in its effect upon the new
conner. During one of these visits the pro-
prietor was away, and Field, finding print
of him, wrote under the picture in his mi
croscpoic handwriting:
This is the robber as sure as you're born
Against whose guile fain would warn
The biblomaniac. tatteoed and torn,
Who pauses to look at some secondhand
book
That lies on the shelf all covered with dust,
And Is marked -four dollars, for cash. no
trust"
In a gloomy corner that smells Of must
Down in the shops that Morris built.
EUGENE FIELD.
This he carefully laid away between the
leaves of a book, where it was discovered
some days later.
In "A Little Book of Western Verse;" be-
longing to the robber," he wrote:
Believs me, me; by all these endearins old
With which your quaint shop is provided.
1 shall honor tho trade by whose help
have made
A collection of freaks that's derided.
And, If you believe me, why. then I've to
That. till Fortune betimes readjust me.
With dollars and dimes for my yarns and
my rhymes,
You shall continue to trust me.
Here is the uniquely humorous way in
W hich Field addressed the envelope of a let
ter to his friend, Edmund Clarence Sted-
man:
There is herein a plaintive ditty
For E. C. Stedman, New York city;
In Broadway, 66, fourth story,
You'll find the same In all his glory.
So take this packet to that Stedman,
Or, by ST. Hocus, you're dead man!
Field was very fertile in jocular invention
and very swift to seize upon suggestion.
He was one OF the journalists who once ac
companed Carl Schurz from st. Louis on
political campaign through Missouri. AT
one of their halting places the gentleman
who was to introduce Mr.. Schurz did not
PUT in an appearance. 1t was suggested
that Field make the Introductory remarks.
The audience was large, and expectation
ran high. Field puffed out his chest, and,
assuming a superdignitied manner and
strong German accent, addressed the
meeting as follows:
I have such a severe colt dot cannot
make me speedg tonight, but l haf die
pleasure Of to introduce to you my prilI!ant
cheene Fielt, who will spheak in my blace.
With this Mr.. Schurz was presented, it is
said, in no very pleasant frame of mind. The
explanation which followed caused uproar-
ous laughter One can but marvel at Fields
temerity, for he was wholly unknown at the
time.
Here is an illustration of the readiness
with which he extricated himself from an
embarrassing situation. He had invited
some friends to Sunday dinner at his home
on Fullerton avenue. His waitress, guided
by that incomprehensible vagary that seizes
upon serving folk at the most inopportune
times, suddenly turned up missing" This
seemed to give him no concern, and in the
few minutes chat before the meal was an
nounced it was noticed that he made pleas
ant but gratuitous alusion to Camille"
the serving maid This, though not remarked
upon, was thought to be rather romantic
name for servant. Occasionally Field
would mysteriously disappear in the direc-
ton of the kitchen and anon return and
pick up the threads of conversation.
When he opened the dining room doors it
was seen that soup was already served. This
course finished the bell was rung for Ca
mile. But no Camille appeared. Field went
to the door and called Camille" first softly
and then very loudly-but still no Camille
appeared. There was an awkward pause
and an interrogatory exchange of frigiditics
between host and hostess. Just as the
guests had settled down to the unpleasant
conviction that they were to witness an ex-
ceedingly embarrassing family jar, Field,
with the remark that he would shame Ca
mile, gathered up the empty soup dishes
and dashed into the kitchen.
There was some nervous speculation as
to what would happen next. There were
disputatious voices from the culinary de-
partment, which those of the dining room
tried to drown in rambling chatter. Sud
denly the door opens and huge platter of
roast beef comes smoking into view. 1t is
steered by Field, wearing the most expan-
sive of foreign smiles, cook IS white cap
and muslin apron tied high up under his
arms in the most ridiculous fashion
Camille" had arrived. 1t was all a
joke. The tension was loosened and hilar-
ity reigned. lie was radiant with the sue
cess of his trick, which was many times
more amusing in the happening than it
could possibly be in the narration. Every
body's enjoyment Of it was very keen.
Dotted over period of years, and thus
showing his appreciation of appreciation,
would come in Fields letters some such al
lusion as: IL will now repair to the