The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1898-01-16

II you are plump they say, Fat is so vul
gar Inc good Lord ought TO make a
rev women to order TO please the dress
makers. AS 1t is, although most of them
STOW rch' they seem to regard the aver
age woman as most undesirable, as a sort
OF human pincushion and something that
is always to be snubbed.
once had tender-hearted dressmaker
VINO wept over my left shoulder so evs-
tematically that 1 got the rheumatism
from It, She crned about a brother who
had been killed by accident The first time
l was deeply sympathetic, for, of course
l thought the accident had taken place
Withm the year, but it turned out that
ne mad been dead for seven years and
tnat mere never would have been an &C
cldent II he had been sober She used to
talk after this fashion: "Shau I fit the
SKIRT smooth ma m?-he was me own
protner, bright young fellow that might
out for his trouble-would you rather have
a hook, ma am ?-haVe got on in the
world and been a credit-I'Il face the sides
with siliI-to all of his people on both
SIDES of the water. He was a beautiful
corpse, and We gave him-of course, YOU
could button it down the front-a wake
that was the talk of the neighborhood for
months afterWard, and it took three-well
ribbon might do, but l never liked those
loose effects-dispensary doctors to
stralghten the men up so that they could
show their proper respect for the remains
Atterd this she would break down utter
ly and weep on my bare shoulder and
excuse the fact that it was in the rain
by saying that she didn't want to stain
the stuff. She was a woman who really
enjoyed herself. She knew the absolute
bliss of sorrow, and she comprehended
thoroughly how sublime thing it was TO
suffer herself and to make her customers
lsrtfer mil J. I
up, not because she was not a good dress
maker but because from constant SYM
pathy my nose was getting so red that I
was afraid some temperance society would
come down upon me, acting, of course I'M
der a Misrepresentation. But there was
no doubt that woman was fine. She put
a pocket in your skirt, and in a cloth skirt
she always put two pockets. Pockets and
independence are a natural combination,
and giving two pockets to womankind, and
these two pockets near the front where she
can reach them, makes her feel as if this
were indeed a free country. With the pos
session of pockets I have discovered that
woman is an accumulative animal In
one of my pockets at the present time there
are a handkerchief, a watch, a calendar a
letter, two newspaper clippings, three gum
drops, four cloves and the picture of a
baby. In the other one are four 10-ceut
pieces q am keeping them to put in a 10
cent bank) a lot of pennies, a bunch of
keys, a glove buttoner, torn veil, two
hairpins, a religious poem and a recipe for
making chicken curry. Who can beat
that? 1 had a safety pin, but l lost it.
However, you cannot put confidence in a
safety pin, for it has a way of being safe
or unsafe according to its fancy. But
you can always rely on a hairpin. / do
not know of anything to which a hairpin
is not a valuable assistant
I have seen a lock opened with hairpin
I have seen gas burner cleaned with a
hairpin.
l have seen lace curtain pinned together
with a hairpin.
have seen a stocking fastened with a
hairpin.
have seen heavy portieres looped by
hairDins.
have seen a hairpin used as a book
mark.
l have seen a hairpin held in the gas
light and then used 10 darken the eye
brows.
have seen a hairpin dipped in red stuff
and used to color the lips, while as for
buttoning shoes, crimping bangs, picking
nuts and cutting books a hairpin is inval-
liable. We can do without politicians, we
can do without suffragists, We can exist
without whisky and live on comparatively
little money, but harpins are a necessity
to the nation. Without them a woman
feels that she is indeed a helpless creature
Bah