The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1898-07-14


the persons who penned them, but |
am under the unavoidable necessity of
giving preference to Lord Dorset. L
believe you will all agree with me when
your hear It'll promise to pay to
John Dryden, Esq, or order, five hun
dred pounds (eoO0}-Dorset.' | must
confess that am equally charmed by
the style and the subject. This style of
writing eXcels any other, ancient or
modern. 1t is the quintessence Of
language, and is, in fact, reason and
argument surprising everything in let
ters." Of course, everybody agreed with
him, which proves that the man with
the largest bank account possesses the
greatest literary possibilities.
o%O
The following story is told on Phil
adelphia lawyer, whose name begins
with Mac, and who has spent consider
able time working up reputation for
"nerve:"
With friend he made combined
business and pleasure trip to Pittsburg.
The pair arranged for accOmmoda-
lions at the lawyers fayorite hotel, and
were forced to take room ON the
fourth floor. On the third night of
their stay the .Philadelphians attended
a banquet, and it was past midnight
when they arrived at the hotel, both
slightly hilarious. Several hours later
they were awakened by loud ringing
of bells, accompanied by cries of "fire.''
They jumped out of bed and saw from
the window that large house just OPP
posite was on flames, and that the roof
of the hotel had caught fire from the
sparks. Mac endeavored to calm his
friend, who was for joining the crowd
that was rushing pellmell from the
hotel. "Be cool, like me-" said he, "and
take your time and get dressed proper
ly." While they hurriedly donned their
clothes the lawyer continued to speak
on the folly of haste, and berated his
friend for getting ratified. Before leav-
ing the room the lawyer, with great
show of GOODNESS, stopped to light a
cigar and then went leisurely down
stairs. Shivering on the street were
number of the guests in undress attire,
and the lawyer exultingly said: "Now,
do you see the wisdom of taking your
time?" His friend looked at him, be-
gan to laugh, and replied: "That's so;
but you ought to have taken time to
put on your pants
"This is straight story" said gro
Gerry clerk, whose veracity had never
been impeached. ''It happened in our
store. A little boy came into our mar
ket store on Monday, and waited for
some one to notice him. He carried a
sheet of writing paper in his hand, at
which he glanced from time to time.
One of the idle clerks came to him IL
nalIy, and the boy, reading from his
paper, announced in sing-song voice:
My mother wants ten pounds of rice,
fifteen pounds of sugar, twelve pounds
of oatmeal, twenty pounds Of Hold
onn interrupted the clerk. Not so
fast. Suppose you give me that paper
and I'll fill out that order
''But the boy insisted on calling off
the articles himself. Two other clerks
were pressed into service, and the
three men proceeded to do up the vari-
Gus packages as the boy called them
off. He wanted all kinds of things,
and he asked the price of each article
as they went along, making note of
it Oh his note paper. The clerks had
the counter stacked with packages
when the boy wound up with eighteen
pounds of flour. One Of the clerks
called out the price and the boy con-
tinued in his sngsong voice, And how
much does my mother have to pay for
her grOcerles:'
cone of the clerks counted up the
total and announced it was S18.73. The
boy made note Of.it and started out.
come BACK mere; NlleTe dle you Solllg
cried the clerks. in chorus.
"'Why,' said the boy, as he made for
the door. that's me 'rithmetic lesson
for Monday. III have ter know it, or
iii git licked "-Philadelphia Record.
During the industrial boom in the
South few years ago a great car
wheel foundry and car works were
built in one of the growing Alabama
cities.
In this place, where employment was
given to large number of men, there
one day appeared an Irishman, named
ohm Fogarty, who was put to work
as a labOrer. The men in the shop