New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1898-10-12
THE SPANISH WAKE.
Mr.. Dooley Has Few Words to say on the
Outcome of the War.

2 4
Chicago Journal: swim tn war was
goip' F" began Mr.. Hennessy.
"sure,'' said Mr.. Dooley, '''tis not oy-.
er yet. IT'S li'ble to outlast both you
an me, Hinnissy. Twas me simple mind
that med me think that whin wan iv TIL pa1
ties to ruction had lost both legs an an
arm twas all over but tn coroner's in
quest. I didn't figure on tn wake be-
cause it's not etiket east of TIL dumps
Fl tn man that caused tn wake FIR to
jine In tn festivities. Be tn looks iv
this case twill be long time between
tn death iv tn deceased an tn funeral.
We're in f'r much socyal festivities that
may r-round up IN US goin' to tn fure
with tn rilitives " tn late departed,
whin you an me, Hinnissy, thought we
had no more wur-ruk to do but to walk
off width his joolry. 80 49,.
"Mack's tn la-ad that knows tn ell
ket iv these occasions. IT'S not his way
to Trace hor-rses to tn cimitry. He
does things in style. Th' wake is held
in Pahr's, where life is wan continual
r:round iv pleasure. TIL guests firm
this side goes over with their families
an tn rayporther scrambles up tn side
iv tn ship befure they lave, an,
says he: Mrs. ex-sicretary iv Agri-
culture Zeke K.Jessop iv Oklahoma he
says, do ye intind to do amy shoppin'
in Pahr's, an do ye think we ought to
take tn Philippines or cook thin into a
shirtwaist9' he says. Mrs. ex-Sicrety iv
Agriculture Zeke K. Jessop smiles viva
ciously an says she: 4 dom. know what
to Think she says. But I'm pr-roud,'
she says, ito be an ,Amurrican lady, she
says, 'as I often tell me husband,' she
says, 'an' if we don't gst tn Philippines
she says, I'll get bonnet that'll make
tn Omaha hat iv tn wife iv tn mayor
iv Guthrie look like Chinese money!
she says.
can thin they're off-an' in Pahr's
they're met be tn president iv France
an tn sicrety ~ state an Cap Dreyfuss
an all tn la-ads an carried off to break
fast-an' that's the same as dinner with
you an me, Hinnissy-an' they meet tn
rilitives iv tn deceased. They'se lashins
an lashins to dhrink. IT'S ixpinsive.
but they don't wake Spain in porther or
ale, Hinnissy. They wake him in
dhrink that there hasn't been bottle iv
in this wa-ard since tn Indyans was
here.
"An' atther breakfast they set ar-round
an smoke their good tin-cint see-gars
an thin it's off to tn Mullin Rouge,
which is kind Nv theayter, or tn cave
iv tn ambassadors, which seems to be
basement saloon where tn POLITICIANS
ARE to he found. At night they'se
bankit give be tn PRESIDENT iv France
an things to dhrink, an ivrybody has a
good time an tn rilitives w tn remains
puts up good keen about himself bein'
a dacint man but very poor an 'twood
be shame f'r to take his clothes an
thin all go over to tn Roo Royal, that's
like Clark strheet, an have tn time iv
their lives. >..
allow long will 1t last7 IT'S ques-
ton iv tn food supply. Twill go on
till they'se nowthin' left to cook, an
thin Frinch ARE that handy they cud
make New England billed dinner out
iv a cup iv wather an lotthry ticket.
But wish twas over. Not because 'tis1
exphinsive. I've quit complainin' since
I heerd Mack was goin' to make wake.
not an inquest, out " it. An not be-
cause want to know whether we have
tn Philippines or not. I'm that tired "
tn Philippines I'd sell me interest in
thin Fl pair " rubber boots, an I niv-
er go out whin it rains ON account of my
rhoomatism. But I'd give tn price "
tn quarthers' license to be able to close
mp me place an go down to tn deepo
an see what Mrs. Zeke r. Jessop iv Ok
laLoma done in tn way iv a hat. I'll
be-. ye that no matther how we come "
th' wake, that good woman1l capture a
lid that'll make tn farmers between
here an tn Platte river think a burn1n'
lie thrain is goin' through tn country"
Awful Effect Of Isolation.
Springfield, Mass, Republican: The
effect of Americas isolation, which so
alarms our ablest lmperialistic thinkers,
is truly saddening. We are the most is
olated people in the world. The earth
itself, which is separated from its near
est planetary neighbors BY millions Of
miles without telephone connection, is