New-York tribune., 1898-01-25
HIS CLOTHES DON'T FIT.

Here we are again Thus. with n double
somersaut. the clown. And now. ladies and
gentlemen. having demonstrated to you that
betting on candidate who stood third in the
race and more than 100000 votes behind was
Ito pick up money in the street; having shown
you how two-thirds of the voters in party
can be guilty of treachcry. conspiracy and high
treason against the other third having swept
"off the earth and out into the limbo several
hundred thousand voters the greater portion
"of the secular press. the entire religious press
land the Presbyterian Church: having directed
"the public finger of scOrn toward that dis
"r,lrbcr Of the peace. T. l. Godkin; that Grim.
"lnal and outlaw James Gordon Bennett: and
that all-rOund malefactor. Joseph Pulitzer, and
having only within the last few days held up
"hefoie you one Of the most startling facts in
"our entire collection Of moral brc-a-bracto
wit, the treachcry of Whitelaw Reid, Editor
"'of The New-YOrk Tribune to the Republican
"'party of the State and Nation'-having fur
"nished you with this entertainment, ladies and
gentlemen. At an enormous cost to the man
"agement of truth, and Iecency. and honor. and
common honesty, and all that men hold most
dear, and at the low price of TWO cents apiece
ito each of you--wc shall have the pleasure Of
"uncoverlng to you piece of lascallty, corrup-
"tion, bribery and general cussednosS beside
(which the Credit MObilier and Star Route
"swindles not merely pale into insgnfcance,
'but seem enduring monuments of civic virtue
Remark by Two-cent Spectator-How very
funny this fellow is. And how fresh. But
what's the matter with his clothes? How loose
they hang0
"The malignant and fendish perpetrators of
"the horrd crime about TO be unmaskcd are
John Z. Milholland, ID. o. Mills and others of
"The New-York Tribune crowd To those in
"the audience who have paid close attention 10
1.-The progress of this pageant and the state
"ly steps by which a drama of unparalleled
fertility in uncommon vllany and unusual
"crimes nas been developed the names of these
persons In connection with any new iniquity
will occasion no surprise. The crime con-
"cocted by these bold and DESPERATE freeboot-
"ers involved widespread and universal corrup-
"tion of members Of Congress and heads Of
departments; the boring of a hole in the Ma
"tional Treasury and establishing thcreat Of
permanent and Unsuitable sucker; the swim
"clng Of an innocent and confiding public by
"a confidence game. and the swift absorption
"of the available resources Of the whole coun-
"try by Mlhoand Mills and The Tribune
"crowd The chief instrumentality by which
"tbis gigantic villany was TO be carried out
was the Tubular Dispatch Company, which,
"'you will perceive by the two-cent programme
(which accompanies this show. was TO shoot
"the mails through pneumatic tubes from the
"'Postoffice in New-York to the Produce Ex-
"'change and TO Forty -secOnd-st."
(Remark by q Two-cent Spectator-What on
earth is he driving at? And what's the mat
ter with his clothes? The more he talks the
looser they fit
"The safe-breaker Milholland has already
secured an appropriation of s150,0O0 from
Congress for shooting the mails when, as
everybody knows, they could be carried by
hand for not much more than that, besides
giving employment TO deserving persons. Not
"only that: he proposes to put down tubes and
shoot the mails in other large cities, and to
TASK Congress TO make appropriations for the
service. Think Of 1t, ladies and gentlemen.
This hardened ruffian proposes, in the first
place TO do away with the old and well-known
horse and wagon, putting in It's place tube,
land then to charge the Government for shoot
ling its mails. Mholand is now engaged in
"aggravating his offences by inviting Senators
"and Congressman to dine with him, and il is
generally believed. loading them up with the
stock and bonds Of his company before they
can get away. 1t will be our pleasure ladies
"and gentlemen. in the next issue OF our pro-
gramme 10 hold up these members OF Congress
Ito public execration'
First Twocent Spectator don't see any.
thing funny in all this And, what's more the
way that fellows clothes hang on him is
sfcck TO decencyJ
(Second TwocenterOf course II is not funny.
That isn't the old clown. It's the boy wearing