Mesa free press., 1898-10-21

Doctor, do you treat rich and poor
alikeT' "No; circumstances alter
cases." life.
I'VE have the deepest we'll 1 ever
saw on. our lot" "What borev'-Phil-
adelphla Bulletin,
He-"You haven't mind above a
new hat" She-"And you haven't any
nina under yours. rs."-Indianapolis Jour-
nal.
Miss Passay-"I dread to think of my
fortieth birthday" Miss Pert-"Why ?
Did something unpleasant happen
then |-Brooklyn Life.
Hicks-"I cannot 60 to the war. I
am near-sighted." Wicks-T am far
sighted. That is the reason why
don't go."--Boston Transcript.
Fiddler-Yes, Boston has turned out
great many musicians-"yours truly"
among the number. Quiz-Well, how
can you blame her Brooklyn Life.
Il find twelve dollars high price for
this parrot. l suppose he speaks a
good deal" 'No, not at all, but he un-
derstands everything" - Fliegende
Batter.
Teacher Ito class)-"Tn this stanza,
what Is meant by the line: The shades
Of night were falling fastY" Bright
Scholar-"The people were pulling
down the blinds."-Ex.
The First Mate-"How clear and
bright 1t is in the West" The Second
Mate-"Why not? The captain has
been sweeping the horizon with his
glass. Indianapolis Journal.
The GeneraEI have stood unmoved
when shells were bursting around me.
Could you" Romeo Barnstomer-
swell, that would depend a great deal
upon the age of the eggs."-Life.
''Some of these summer young men,"
remarked Miss Cayenne, pensively, "re-
mind me Of Dresden china" Because
they are beautiful?' Eyes. And they
get broke so sily."-Washingt Star.
Flasher saw you out horseback
riding this morning, old man. Dunn
bleton-Don't say! Well, was I in it,
30 to speak? Flasher-The saddle? Well,
at very rare ervals.-Richmond Dis
patch.
why don't they revive that song that
used to be so popular few years agoY
Il don't know what one you mean"
why, it ran like this: The Spanish
cavalier stood in his retreat "-Phila-
delphia Bulletin.
Uncle Frank-''Well, Willie, what did
you see at the circus to-dayY Willie
(Who was especially pleased with the
Shetland ponies)-'Lots and lots Of
things; but the best were the con-
densed horses" Judge.
Hogan-"Oi wonder who will be th'
last man on EARTH" Grogan-"Oi dun
no, amy more than you. But it is to
be hoped that he'll be an onndertaker,
SO he will know how to bury himself
dacently. y."-Indianapolis Journal.
"Come on, fellows" cried mosquito
who happened to overhear quarrel be-
tween Mr.. and Mrs. Henpeck; "this is
a cinch. I heard the woman tell her
husband he was the most thin-skinned
man she ever knew."-Philadelph
Record.
"And SO my old fame, Lottie Light
foot, has become queen Of comic op-
era! To think that 1 might have mar
ried Lottie ten years ago! All! If had
If had! Oh, well! if 1 had, it isn't
at all likely that we'd be married nowv'
Puck.
"Poor Nivins! He can't forget his
early ways" 81 heard some one say
he handled golfsticks as if they were
pickaxes." "Worse than that Let him
have his stick in the air for stroke and
he'll drop 1t If the noon whistle blows"
Cincinnati Enquirer.
Judge-Why did you commit this un-
provoked assault? Prisoner wanted
to get my picture in the papers. Judge
Well will you be good if l let you
go? Prisoner-I am afraid not. 1 now
want to kill the artists who made the
pictures.-New York Journal.
IF l were a man." she said, "you
would not find me here to-day. I'd be
away fighting for my country" IF
you were a man," he replied, "you
wouldn't find me here to-day, either. I,
too, would be away, fighting for my
country" After that all he had to do
was to gain papa's consent.-Cleveland
Leader.
The Father-That young man who
used to call on you and stay so late Is
In the navy now, understand? The
Danghter-Yes, papa; and think of 1t!
his boat has been disabled! The last
heard Of him he was being towed in.
The Father-Well, don't let me see him
around here at all hours Of the night,
or you will see him being toed out
YOnkers Statesman.
Mr.. Simpkins Is a great enthusiast on
the subject of 'chest protectors" which
he recommends to people on every oc-
casion. "a great thingv he says. "They