davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1898-06-28
A WOMAN WITH A CHECK.
Invasion of a Brooklyn Bank by a School
teacher With Ideas of Her Own.

Invasion OF a Brooklyn Bank Dy q Schooi-
teacher With Ideas of Her Own.
A middle aged spinster who wore glasses
and whose voice was thin stepped mp to
the paying %teller's window in a Brooklyn
bank and, holding out a check, said i'm
peratiyely:
please give me the money for this
check"
The teller saw that the check vas drawn
on a western bank and made payable to
\"Mary Eliza Smith, " OF a name like that.
I What is your name, madam" he asked.
SIS that any BUSH ess of yours, sir?" re-
turned the woman.
Certainly it is, or ! shouldn't ask it"
"Well, you can read it on that check,
then"
You are Mary Eliza Smith, them"
said the teller, still in doubt.
Eyes, l am and a teacher in the public
schools. have no time to prolong this
conversation, young man, and l will be
obliged to you for the $50 mentioned in
that check"
Have you an account here?'' asked the
teller.
Indeed l haven't. l would not have if
! could, Why, l never mot such an in
qulsltlve young man.
But l don't know that you are Mary
Eliza Smith,
Indeed said the woman, with elab-
crate scorn. Il have told you that I was
several times. Now, young man, l want
my money"
81 can't cash that check" said thu
teller.
Il ttIVhx, nnf9 This 10 n hanE icp,t itg,,
"Yes, but you must bring some one her,
to identify you"
~"Identify mel Me-! Well, well, young
a Is the president here?"
Eyes, madam. He is back in his office.
And before the teller could send warning
to the president Miss Smith bounced into
his office. She told him that she had beer
insulted and that she should sue the bank.
You pretend, sir" she said, "that this
Is a bank. A bank is a place where checks
are cashed. l offered a check here, and
that fresh young man wanted me to tell
him all about myself and have some one
identify me into the bargain. Why, l was
teaching in the Brooklyn schools before
he was born"
But you see, madam, you have no &C.
count here" said the president, "and we
don't know you. We have no means Of
knowing that the check is good"
"Why, the ideal" calculated Miss Smith
"Do you suppose l am a forgerS"
"No, madam, but as a matter of precau
ton we must ask you for some identified
ton"
Indeed l would not so humiliate my
self, said Miss Smith haughtily. II will
20 to another bank and see If / can find
| gentleman who will respect a lady, - ant
| out she walked.
The president Of the bank was the mai
who told this story, and he has since learn
ed that the woman is a teacher in a Brook
Ign school.
"Some women have queer ideas abou
banking" he added.-New York Sun.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1898-06-28

In military prisons an offender is some-
times sentenced to carry cannon balls from
one place to another and pile them up all
day long. That is all. Perhaps-it does not
seem very terrible but it soon wears his
life out. 1t is practically a death sentence,
and he knows it; he would rather be shot.
Many a sick man feels the same way about
the burden Of disease that he is Juggling
back and forth from day to day. He would
as soon be down with a mortal disease. 1t
will come to that sooner or later.
A mans life can be dragged out BY
dyspepsia and liver complaint. The ex-
~perience of MI. ]. T. Cardwell, of Fall
Creek Depot, Pittsylvania Co., Va, shows
how DR.. Pierce's Golden Medical Discov-
cry saves people from consumption by
waking up their nutritive organism and
giving it power to supply pure, healthy
blood, which drives out blood poisons and
dead tissues and builds up sound, whole
some flesh and muscle.
II feel it my duty" writes Mr.. Cardwell in a
letter to DR.. Pierce, to write you of the lasting
benefits derived from the use of DR.. Pierce's
Golden Medical Discovery and little Pellets
Seven years ago I contracted a severe cold,
which bafHed the skill of one of the best ply
sicians in my State. 1t ran on and l %continu-
ally grew worse until l concluded to write to
the Worlds Dispensary. Medical Association
The answer to my inquiry advised me to use
Golden Medical Discovery and Pellets for
indigestion and liver complaint at this time
two months had passed. In two or three days
after I had commenced the use of your medi-
cine my cough had , entirely stopped, my digess;
I felt new life and vigor in my whole body"
This marvellous Discovery" makes
nerve force and rugged power. 1t is far
better than oily emulsions it does not
make 1abby fat, it does not increase the
weight of corpulent people.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1898-06-28
Strange Spots on the Sun.

Since the beginning of this year groups
of spots unusual and unexpected have
been observed on the surface of the sun
by astronomers in different sections.
These reported at the National Observa-
tory are in appearance and movement
entirely out of the usual train. They
may continue indefinitely, but they do
not indicate unusual weather disturb
ances. But there are indications upon
the human countenance that show that
the bowels and liver need reform through
Hostetter's Stomach Bitters. These are
yellowness of the skin and whites of the
eyes, fnrred tongue, &c, all indicative
of constipation and biliousness, to the
removal OF which the Bitters is adapted.
The efficacy of this family medicine
also extends to malaria, rheumatism,
kidney trouble, nervousness and sick
headache.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1898-06-28
Fog Yarns.

Talk at the mess table Of the old day
boat one morning at Albany turned on
the fog which hung over the upper
reaches of the river. The night boat
had not made her dock yet, and 1t was
really a remarkably thick morning
1880 o'clock Of a midsummer morning
and still murky. So said the second
pilot.
II remember" began the purser,
ION Lake Champlain, a fog SO thick you
couldn't see the jack staff from the pilot
house, but old Captain Sam -- put
her along all right"
"Pooh!" said the chief engineer.
I'VE were going through a fog in Hav-
erstraw bay in 1874 that we cut q
wake in-left it clear half a mile be-
hind u.s."
"Well," remarked Mate Charley
Griffin, who felt it time to say the last
word. II was on the -- in 1858, or
1869 maybe it was. off Anthony's
Nose, when we ran into a fog bank that
stalled the old wagon, just like a loco
motive in q snowdrift; couldn't push
her ahead one inch."
my uncle in Portland, Or" said
the newsboy who had no business to say
anything about fogs when his elders
were about, "writes me that the other
day his neighbor Mr.. Perkins, was
shingling his roof when n OF those
Pacific coast fogs came up. Mr.. Perkins
shingled out four feet on the fog before
he''-
But Griffin was on deck. New York
Mail and Express.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1898-06-28
UNHAPPY LIZA JANE.
Her Husbands Meek and Lowly Dodge
Was Hard to Bear.

"No AA"AN w c"
There was a shanty among the trees,
and in response to my hail an old woman
appeared in the doorway and cordially ex-
claimed:
"Howdy, stranger. Climb down an hev
a bite!"
I explained that / had lost my way and
only desired to DO directed to the right
road.
After she had set me right she leaned
co~nfidentially against my saddle and said:
stranger, l wish tibet ye would do me
a favor. Do We see tibet thar critter over
thar"
l did, although l had previously over
looked him. He was leaning against the
trunk of a blue gum, with his hands
meekly folded in his lap, and appeared to
be gazing into vacancy.
stranger, thar is my ole man, an
we've bin married fer over 40 years, an up
ter last month we enjoyed all the bliss Of
married life. We've fit an fout, an fout
an fit, an the outcome of them fouts were
always in doubt up ter the last minute.
But I'll say right yere tibet when the smoke
Of them we're battles cleared away the ole
woman wuz always on top. l always reck-
oned tibet l would go ter my grave in a
peaceful state of mind, but it looks now
as though l wuz goin ter be plum disap-
p'inted an jest because tibet low down,
onery oritter pretended to git religion an
commenced playin the meek an lowly
dodge. If l swat him with the broom ham
die, he signs an rolls his eyes an says,
Now, hit me with the AK helye, Liza
Jane The fact is tibet he wuz a licked
man before he pretended to git religion, ar
he knows 1t, an this yere religious racket
is only a scheme of his ter git out of takin
his medicine like a man. But what Is a
poor, lone m goin ter do? If l swat
him in the eye, he says, Now smack me
on the snoot, Liza Jane Ye can't hit a
man when he's down, IN this yere meek
an lowly bizness is breakin me all up.
"Now, what I want We ter do, stranger,
is ter lean over an smack me good an hard
right on my lips, an maybe tibet will rouse
tibet thar critter up an he will rush up an
swat We on the snoot, an then l will git
mad an rush in, a N then maybe he viii
! fergit all about this meek an lowly dodge
an we will hev q beautiful fout."
l. / declined as politely as ! could and
rode on, but as l reached a bend in the
road l glanced back.
( The old woman was emptying the con-
tents of a " lshboiler over tho old man,
and out of the torrent came a meek voice:
"Now turn the hose on me-, Liza Jane.
New York World.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1898-06-28

Connections with the main line and
branches as follows:
At Antonito for Durango, Silverton
and all points in the San Juan country.
At Alamosa for Jimtown, Creole, Del
Norte, Monte Vista and oil points in the
San Luis valley.
At Salida with main line for all points
east and west, including Leadville.
At Florence with F. & c. G.. R. R. for
the gold camps Of Cripple Creek and
Victor.
At Pueblo, Colorado Springs and Dem
YER v It'll all Missouri river lines for all
poin 8 east.
Through passengers from Santa Fe
will have reserved berths in sleepers from
Alamosa If desired.
For further information address the
undersigned.
Il. J. HELM, General Agent.
Santa Fe, N. M.
s. X. HOOPER, G. P. A.,
Denver, Colo.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1898-06-28
| was seriously afflicted with a cough

l was seriously afflicted with a cough
for several years, and last year had a
more severe cough than ever before. l
have used many remedies without re-
ceiving much relief, and being recon-
mended to try a bottle of Chamberlain's
Cough Remedy, by a friend, who, know
ing me to be a poor widow, gave it to
me, I cried it, and with the most graft
flying results. The first bottle relieved
me very much and the second bottle has
absolutely cured me. l have not had as
good health for twenty years. l give
this certificate without solicitation, SIM
ply in appreciation of the gratitude felt
for the cure effected Respectfully, Mrs.
Mary A. Beard, Claremore, Ark. For
sale by A. G. Ireland.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1898-06-28

Bad management keeps more people in
poor circumstances than any other one
cause. To be successful n must look
ahead and plan ahead so that when a
favorable opportunity presents itself he
is ready to take advantage of it. A lit
tie forethought will also save much ex-
pense and valuable time. A prudent
and careful nan will keep a bottle OF
Chamberlain's Collie, Cholera and Diar.
rhoea Remedy In the house, the shiftless
fellow will wait until necessity compels
1t and then ruin his best horse going fol-
a doctor and have a big doctor bill tc
pay, besides; one pays out IS cents, the
other is out a hundred dollars and then
wonders why his neighbor is getting
richer while he is getting poorer. Fol
sale by A. G. Ireland.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1898-06-28
HOW MUCH HE LOVED HER.

My passion, Sylvia, to prove
You bid me tell how much l love.
/ love thee, then-but language falls
More than bees love flowery wales,
More than turtle loves his dove,
More than warhlers love the grove,
More than nature loves the spring,
More than linnet loves TO sing,
More than insects sunny beams,
More than poets airy dreams,
More than fishes love the food,
More than patriots public good,
More than focks the grassy plains,
More than binds increasing rains,
More than lords their pedigree,
More than Yankees to be free,
More than heirs love twenty one,
More than heroes laurels won.
More than elves the moonlight shade,
More than ancient maids to wed,
More than hermit loves his cell,
More than beauty to excel,
More than miser loves his store,
More than myself. Can l do more?
Solomon G.. Fay in New York Ledger
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1898-06-28
Novel Reading.

Il is interesting to know the opinion
Of 90 hard a worker and 60 earnest q
player as Nj. Balfour on . OF the
most easily accessible and delightful
r~ecreations of modern times-noyel
reading.
When entertained at the Sir Walter
Scott club, be spoke freely on the pres.
emit day position Of the novel, calling it
a really necessary luxury. 1.-The world
will insist upon tobacco, daily papers
and novels until the end OF time.
Though literature by no means carries
all the cardinal virtues in its train, Sill
It is the greatest engine for the produo-
tion of cultivated happiness"
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1898-06-28
Circumstances Favored Him.

Mr.. P. Ketcham, of Pike City, Calit.,
says: "During my brothers late sick
ness from sciatic rheumatism, Chamber
lain's Pain Balm was the only remedy
that gave him any relief" Many others
have testified to the prompt relief from
pain which this liniment affords. For
sale by A. C. Ireland.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1898-06-28
A Mean Old q

"Arabella, " said old Billyuns as he fin
ished his dinner, II am going to ask you
to do me a favor. l want you to give
your young man, Mr.-Mr. Whatshisname
"a message from me-.
her plate.
"Tell him." the bluff old millionaire
went on, 'that l don't object to his stay
ing here and running up my gas bills, but
that l do want to register a kick against
his carrying the morning paper away with
him when he leaves"
After that Mr.. Wellington went home
earlier. Cleveland Leader.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1898-06-28
To Suit the Condition.

Directory Canvasser-What is your
first name Mr.. Peck?
Mr.. Peck-It was Claude, before l got
married.
Directory Canvasser-Am / to under
stand that marriage altered your name?
Mr.. Peck-N-no, not exactly; but 1
spell It Clawed now.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1898-06-28
Poor Maryi

Little Mary was very fond of the minis
ter, MIR. Johnson, who was to leave town
for a larger parish. When her mother in
vited Mr.. johnson to dinner, Mary deter
mined to say something particularly polite
to the minister, as it was her last chance
to distinguish herself before him. At the
table she waited patiently for a pause in
the conversation, then remarked in her
usual distinct voice;
"Mr. johnson, l hear we are going to
have the pleasure Of losing ou."-Nug-
gets.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1898-06-28
Code OF Civil procedure.

Every practicing attorney in the ter
ritory should have . copy OF the New
Mexico Code Of Civil Procedure, bound
In separate form with alternate blank
pages for annotations. The New Mex
lean Printing company has such an edi-
tlon on sale at the following prices:
Leatherette binding, SIPS; full law
sheep, 81; flexible morocco, 8s.5 {.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1898-06-28
OF u He Had.

st is true that he wears the uniform Of
q soldier" said the doubling one, "but
understand he never has been in any real
engagement"
what" cried the posted one. "Why,
he has been sued twice for breach of prom
Use. Engagementsf Well, l rather guess"
Chicago Post.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1898-06-28

Mr.. John Bevins, editor of the Press,
Anthem, Ia, says: II have used Cham
berlain's Collie, Cholera and Diarrhoea
Remedy in my family for fifteen years,
have recommended it to hundreds of
others, and have never known it to fail
in a single instance. For sale by A. c.
Traland
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1898-06-28
"And will you go with me-"

"Won't you kiss me unless l do?"
"No," he answered, looking at heI
steadily. She thought for a moment.
"Then-I will Co." she said.
"Alice," said Captain Kingsley's
voice close beside her, 81 unintentional.
ly overheard what you said. l was
bringing your wrap to you" He laid
the cape about her shoulders as he
spoke. "Come home with me. Howard,
meet me in the morning, half al hour
before reveille, at the target range"
He seemed to speak mechanically.
There was no feeling in his voice, no
expression of pain or Of anger on his
face.
Captain Howard bent his head in ST.
lent agreement, and Captain and Mrs.
Kingsley walked slowly homeward side
by side.
The dawn was glimmering in the
east, the birds twittered in a desultory
fashion, the dew was heavy on the trod-
den grass, when Captain Kingsley and
Captain Howard met on the target
range.
"You brought your pistol?" said
Captain Kingsley.
"No," said Captain Howard.
"That is just like you, said Captain
Kingsley. IT suspected that you would
not bring one, SO l brought two" He
handed one to Captain Howard as he
spoke.
II don't want it, Rob-" said Cap
tain Howard, taking it reluctantly.
"How can | raise it against you? You
have done me no injury
Captain Kingsley walked five PAGES
away from Captain Howard.
"Are you ready?'' he said, turning
toward him.
Eyes"
''Then count three and fire."
The two shots rang out simultaneous.
~. Neither man was touched.
"Why did you do that?' said Cap
tain Kingsley, frowning.
"Why did you?" said Captain How
ard. II gave you a chance to revenge
yourself"
"What good would revenge do me?"
said Captain Kingsley. II think that
my only wish is to put myself out Of
her way. Do you mean to shoot me or
do you not?"
II do not" said Captain Howard.
"You leave me no alternative. l
must do it myself, " said Captain Kings
ley.
And he did.
He was buried with military honors
in the post cemetery. The papers an
nounced that while he and his friend,
Captain Howard, were shooting at a
mark his pistol had gone off accidental
ly and killed him.
The evening after the funeral Mrs.
Kingsley wa sitting in her drawing
room when Captain Howard came in.
"Alice," he said. dreadful as this
has been I cannot regret it, for it gives
you to me-"
She looked at him, but blankly as if
she did not see.
"What is the matter?" he said.
"Don't you love me any more?
"Love you? Yes, but that has moth
ing to do with it., she answered.
"What do you mean?"
II mean that I am going away to.
morrow"
"And when may I Gomez"
"You? Why, never"
"Aren't you going to marry me?"
"You don't suppose that could mar.
~ you after this? When Rob was alive
and at home, I would have done any.
thing-anythlng-but, as I have told
you before, if he had been away ]
would have behaved in a most exem.
plary manner. Now that he can never
come back-now that l am left alone to
uphold the honor Of his name, do you
dream that / would marry you Of all
people? My sense Of honor forbids IT."
She smiled wanly, but there was I'M
finching resolve in her eyes. -Elizabeth
Hartman in Home Magazine.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1898-06-28
Horrible.

Lemme see, said the %garrulous board
er. Don't they use a lot of ierked beef
in the army?
Nav, said Asbury Peppers. 1t is the
navy that has us, for the dried OK.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1898-06-28
In Need of Advice.

Her Mother to bride-elect-What
frowning on your wedding day?
Bride-elect-I'm in a quandary. If |
go to the altar smiling, people will say
I'm simply crazy to get Charlie, and if
look solemn they will say l already re-
greet the step. What shall | do?
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1898-06-28
Notaries' Records.

The New Mexican Printing company
has on sale blank records for the use Of
notaries public, with the chapter of the
Compiled laws governing notaries, print
ed in the front. Will be delivered at any
postofice or express office on receipt Of
&1.25
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1898-06-28
OFFICE FITTINGS.

Filing cabinets Of every desCrip-
tiOn. document boxes and files,
pigeon hole cases, legal blank
cases, Of1lce ticklers and every
conceivable kind OF Office 1ttfngs
and furniture can be had OF the
New Mexican Printing company.
Write for descriptive, illustrated
pamphlets.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1898-06-28

"Ahl' said the literary gent. 81 flatter
myself I have made a neat phrase. Listen
The reeking mysteries Of a great city
how's that?"
"What are you talking aboutp" asked
the crude person. "Frankfurtersf'-Cin
alnnati Enquirer.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1898-06-28
Correct

Miss Palisade-I'm surprised you don't
like him. Why if he had money he
would make an ideal husband.
Miss Summit-That's nothing! So
would any man.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1898-06-28
Notice For Publication.
Homestead Entry No. $500.
LAND OFFICE AT SANTA FE, N. NJ,

June II, 1893. ;
Notice Is hereby given that the following
named settler has fled notice OF his intention
to make final proof. In support OF his claim,
register or receiver q Santu Fe, NM, on July
as, 1893, Wis: Henry A. Mente, for the W. v NV.
4. sec 1, g.. u ne. Y, sec. Q, tip. II n, r. IL q.
He names the following witnesses to prove
Of said land, viz:
salvador Gonzales, Juan Gonzales, Sam
brano Gurule, Juan Martin, Of Glorleta, N.
M. MANUEL r. OTRRO,
Register.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1898-06-28
Times Changes.

"Ah, how wonen do changer' said the
quiet member of the club. "When I was
counting Amelia, she said that If l should
die she would die too without a moments
wait. And now
He paused and sighed.
"And now she has taken to limiting
around that l ought to take out some life
insurance. "-Cincinnati Enquirer.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1898-06-28
An Early Discovered.

An Iowa woman is distressed because
she discovered just after the ceremony
that she had been married to the wrong
a Usually it takes a m at least
a month or two to find that out.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1898-06-28
A Slap at the Old Lady.

Willie-Pa, what do they make talking
machines of?
His Father-The first one was made
out of a rib, my son.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1898-06-28
Thoughtful to the Last,

Didn't your absconding cashier leave
You any message?
Yes; he left a line in the cash box
transferring to me his paid-up member
ship in a Don't Worry club.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1898-06-28
At the Seaside Hotel.

Rev. DR.. Goodman before registering
Have you got a life-saver here?
Clerk coldly-No sir; the bar Is at the
end of the hall, to the right.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1898-06-28
Ever the Same.

You lever can tell what a woman will
do next.
/ can.
Well, what?
Talk.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1898-06-28
The Ideal Place.

Booth Kean-They say eggs are worth
about 20 cents apiece in Havana now.
Irvington Barrett-Ah, what a glo-
rious place that would be for the first
production of our new play.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1898-06-28
The Handles.

"Why, Teddy, dear, what is the matterf
Don't you like asparagus?"
Eyes, Mrs. Birchum, but the handles
are so hot!''-Trained Motherhood.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1898-06-28
h u Them.

Bridget, did you bring up that jar Of
blackberries l asked you to bring?"
II did, men,"
"You are sure they are blackberries, are
your"
= eyes, mem, but I had to open a dozen
ja-ars befure l found them. Chicago
Tribune.