Richmond daily palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1876-1904, 1898-04-22
ANT,BuLLDOG TROUSERS.
Suburban Poets Plan of Self Preserva
ton Against q Neighbor's Pet.


The poet came TO town from his
suburban home last Friday wearing
pair of trousers too long for him.
They resembled in pattern those dis
played in Bowery shops and mark
ed: Very Turfy. So; were 81.
The poet is a modest man IN his
clothes, and his appearance was u
severe shock to his friends.
Its all right" he said. Il never
wore anything like them before, but
can tell you that l am mighty glad
10 get them now. They are dog pro
tectors, and / hatter myself that
am the originator of clever scheme
to fool vicious dogs. A neighbor OF
mine, through whose land l can
make a short cut to the station,
owns bulldog that Is in an ad-
vanced stage of muscular develop
ment. This dog has teeth like a
shark. and his expression is fierce
and wicked. Two weeks ago, while
| was cutting across my neighbor' /
land to get to the station, this very
ugly dog got after me and wrecked
a pair of excellent trousers. l was
thoroughly angry, and l sent note
to the dogs owner telling of the oc-
currence. He sent back word that
if | kept off of his ground his dog
wouldn touch me. That was neigh
borly, wasn't it'll
We'll, it so happened that we
both had our clothes pressed and
cleaned by the same tailor, and
when my clothes were delivered two
nights ago i found with them this
pair of trousers. Half an hour later
the tailor returned and said that he
had left somewhere by mistake a
pair of trousers belonging To Nh.
Blank. Blank is the man who owns
the bulldog My plan came to me
like an inspiration.
''Have you seen Mr.. Blanks
trousersi' asked the tailor.
"'No, j replied. Il have trouble
enough keeping track of nv own
without botheriu2waham6wus1sluss i
teffor went away to continue
lis search. and i proceeded to test
ny plan. have always heard that
/ bulldog will not bite any one who
3 wearing his masters trousers.
hat is said to be one of the peculiar
rats of the beast. l knew that if
Blank had worn his trousers around
rs home the pattern of them would
e firmly impressed on the bulldog 5
nemory. To test 1t l got into por-
ions of three suits of heavy winter
nderclothes and then drew over
hem Blank s trousers 1t was dark.
nd | knew that the bulldog was
pose on Blanks grounds. l invaded
Is yard, and as soon as that dog
card me he growled and made a
nsh at my legs. The suspense of
nat moment was awful, but / had
nth in the underc1othes if the
'ousers dIdn work. On came the .
og with his mouth open for a big |
tie, and just as he reached the i
ousers he stopped. When | thought I
over afterward, the bulldog : sur 1
rise struck me as humorous. Hell
ohSu at Inc tTotstTs anu tDen al
e. Then he whined and skunk back
the house. The trousers had con-
Iered. This morning l oversight,
I'd 1t was necessary for me to cut
ross Blanks grounds to get my
ain. Iput on Blanks trousers, and
e dog simply looked me over as
shed past and wagged his tail. |
lieve that Blank owes me thei
ice of pair of trousers because of
e damage his dog did to mine, so
at my conscience does not prick
for keeping these things. They
n I look well, but they are worth
of my other trousers put together
a protection against Blank s bull
g. New York Sun.