davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Springfield herald., 1898-03-11
A PRONUNCIATION PUZZLE.
Test Yourself by Reading This Little Story
Aloud,


The following episode" will prove
very clever puzzle as test of the abil-
ity of people to pronounce readily and
correctly many common words of their
native tongue. The list, which con-
,ains no words of disputed prounucia-
ton is as follows:
An interesting inquiry took place in
the court of oyer and terminer some
line ago. Indisputable evidence was
given toward proving that n heinous
incident had taken place during pub
lie pageant. 1t seems that IL pretty girl,
rather Juvenile in appearance, having
an extraordinary head of hair, like an
Albino. represented Thalla and sat on
Il pedestal erected on one of the floats.
The procession was directing It's course
down the Mall. when the attention of
he onlookers was drawn to the excited
conduct of one of the spectators who
had fixed her eyes upon the tiara, set
with jewels in the form of carat.
which Thalia wore upon her head as
she sat in what seemed to be her won't
ed attitude of nonchalence and leisure.
This person was afterward shown to be
IL maniacal laundreSS whose sQualOr
and detesatiOn and hideous grimaces
We're all unnoticed by the mock god
dess. What vagary bade this reptile
turn her servile eyes, full Of rapine, on
the beautiful maiden, 1t is hard to say;
but suddenly, under pretcnse of see
ing something on the ground. she pro-
duced hiatus in the crowd. and thus
obtained precedence of all. Simultan-
eously with her appearance the van
drove past. She then filed the air with
gross raillery and began to promulgate
Annrchism, society's lack of probity.
and the general prediction of pOliti
cinns for patronage. Then she besought
glnciers of the Alps the ruins of Pom
reii. the female franchise, the
Pleiades. and her patron saint. She
was evidently demented. and the flow
of her vocables appeared endless. Sud-
denly she raised pestle which had
been hidden under her shawl, and
threw 1t directly nj the visor on the
girls head. Thercupon n flaccid lith-
ogrnpher, who was cutting swath
as tribute on the following van
grasped seine and threw 1t over the
gaunt old hag. so that her efforts to
escape We're futile. and she became as
docile as lamb The pathos of the af-
fair lay in the way the girl bore the
ordeal. In court the virngo gave an
alias instead of her own name. Her de-
fense was that vaccine, whose pres
cnce was shown by a scabiOus arm, to-
gether with desuetude in the matter of
personal freedom. had produced an
obscssion which decreed the irrevOcable
death of the girl An inventory Of her
belongings was made, and she was
then sent to an asylum as victim of
acute homicidal mania.-New York
Times.
The Springfield herald., 1898-03-11
HuMoRs OF CLERICAL LIFE.
One Boy Thought Ho Know Why the
Sea Wa Salt.

WV DVy AhOoRhb nv Nhcw VIM VI"
ssa Was Salt.
Some of the ideas held with regard
to ecclesiastical matters are as fuzzy
as they are extraordinary. though taey
cause one to reflect on tAe methods
adopted by the church and the various
religious bodies, says the Cornhill
Magazine. A woman same to me one
day to say she wanted her daughter TO
be confirmed. "Mr. -" she said,
from the chapel over the way, 'as
been a-trying to convert 'er. but /
pretty soon told him what thought
bout 1t. ses to i'm, I'll ave my gal
confirmed. but I won't ave 'er con-
verted. SO now you know. l don't b.
lieve in conversion" What the min
A.er said or thought of this truly mar
vesous statement of doctrine l don't
know. The monograms I H S and X
P G. which are so often to be seen In
QUE churches, sorely puzzle a portion
Of the congregation, a larger proper
tion. 1 am inclined to think, than is
generally supposed. A certain vicar,
soOn after his arrival in the parish,
placed new cloth upon the altar upon
the center of which was embroidered
8 large cross. Such strong opposition
was raised TO this symbol of Christian
ity that the vicar gave way before the
storm and had the initials I H S sub
stituted. A parishioner who was not
at all in favor of the change, on being
asked the meaning of the letters. re-
piled: why, don't you know what 1t
means? 1t means. I hope you're sat
isfied.'" Children's answers are al
ways a fruitful source of amusement.
A girl is or 16 years old. who had re-
ceived what was supposed to be good
education, was describing to me her
recent visit to the Tower of London.
Among the many wonders which she
had seen was a sword given to Henry
VIII by Max Muller an amusing though
not altogether unnatural substitute for
the Emperor Macmillan. II children
are allowed to think for themselves
their answers are amusingly original.
What do you think makes the sea
salt?" was question put to q national
school class A brilliant idea struck
a boy. Please. sir. the 'errings."
The Springfield herald., 1898-03-11
The Pre.ideni.. snndnY

President Mckinley declines to do
any business on Sunday, even refusing
to see senators who call on that day.
A prominent Western Republican who
was passing through Washington went
to the White House to seek an inter
view in regard to an appointment on
Sunday. He wrote the object of his
errand upon card, and apologized for
calling that day as he was obliged to
leave Washington that night. The
usher brought back the message that
he would have to call in the morning.
as the President desired TO he excused
from all official business on the Sab
bath. Sometimes he is supposed to
have II conference with Mr.. Hanna on
Sunday evenings, but there mas never
been so little going on mt the White
House on that day as under the pres
ent administration.
The Springfield herald., 1898-03-11
First Cotton MIL Owned by Negroes.

A few days ago at Concord, New Hamp-
shire. ground was broken for the first
cotton mill In the United States to be
owned and operated entirely by negroes.
The company was organized by colored
merchant at that place of the name of
Stoneman. who has been working for two
years securing subscriptions. He claims
10 have over $4,000 in hand and nearly
slo0o00 more pledged. The contracts have
been let for the erection of a building with
tho most approved machinery. Colored
operatives have not been secured in the
South. and therefore the white people re-
gard the result of the enterprise as doubt
ful. but Stoneman is Il man of energy
and business ability and is confident Of
success.
The Springfield herald., 1898-03-11
SALOONS AND PosroFFrcEs.
Tho Law Does Not Allow Them to be Run
Together

Tho Law Does Not Allow Them to He Run
Together.
Section 43O of the postal laws and
regulations forbids the sale of liquors
in the same room or building with n
postOffice or in any room or building
connected with postotiice. This is
an ineXorable rule Of the department
and has never been enforced with SO
much severity MS under the present
administration. While Postmaster
General Gary is not fanatic or even
teetotaler, he is very strong in his
temperance views and will not permit
whisky selling to be mixed up with
the business of his department He is
quite as vigorous in his opposition TO
the appointment of men who are en-
gagged in the liquor business. No man
who sells whisky has been appointed
to office under his administration to
his knowledge. If such cases exist he
would be glad TO be Informed of the
facts. And If any reputable citizen
will notify him of any postotiice that
is connected with or even adjoins n
saloon, or of any postmaster who sells
liquor, an inspector will be sent i'm
medintely to make an investigation,
and if he finds the charge to he true
there will be Il vacancy in the service
The other day complaint of this
kind was made and the inspector re-
ported that a saloon was maintained
in basement under n postotfice. The
postmaster was directed to inform the
owner of the building that the saloon
must be closed within thirty days or
his lease with the government would
be cancelled. The member of Congress
from that district appeared very
promptly with protest. but when he
admitted the fact the postmaster gen
eral would listen TO no argument, and
by the advice of the congressman the
saloonkeeper was ordered to vacate
the premises.
Another case occurred even more re-
Gently in Iowa, where the rear door
of postofiice opened upon an alley
Immediately across from the rear door
of a saloon. Complaint was made
that the postmaster and his clerk oc-
casionally stepped over to take II
nip" 1t was also complained that
loafers from the saloon were in the
habit of coming into the alley and sos-
siping with the postmaster through
the rear door of the postotfice. These
facts being reported by an inspector.
the postofiice was ordered removed TO
another building.
The Springfield herald., 1898-03-11
RHEUMATISM AND LA GRIPPE.
4 Remedy Which Is Sure to Cure These
and Many Other Diseases.

4 Remedy Which Is Sure to Cure These
and Many Other Diseases.
"b Drops is remedy for rheuma-
tism, neuralgia. catarrh, la grippe and
kindred ailments. The manufacturers
of "5 Drops" have many letters from
those restored to health, of which the
following is sample:
Paris, Texas, Jan. 9, 1898.
Swanson Rheumatic Cure Co., Chi
cago. Gentlemen:-I write to accept
the agency for your medicines. Will
send you the amount mentioned in
your letter, and please send me the
remedies to begin with. l have some
orders all ready. Please send as soon
as you can. With many thanks to you
and God, I am enjoying better health
than l have for years. feel as II 1
am spared to do some one else good
now. Yours truly,
MRS. NJ. ]. JAYROE.
During the next thirty days the COM
pany will send out 900 Of their SAM
pie bottles for rs cents bottle. From
the past they know that even sample
bottle will convince one of the merits
Of "5 Drops" Not sold by druggists,
only by US or our agents. Agents
wanted. Write to-day to the
Swanson Rheumatic Cure Co.. 167
Dearborn street, Chicago. Ill. This
company is reliable and promptly fill
every order.
The Springfield herald., 1898-03-11
VARIOUS VEGETABLES.

The tomato is native to Mexico and
South America. 1t takes its name from
Portuguese word.
The watercress and the sour-dock.
which is used as a salad in Germany,
for many centuries wasted as weeds
before they were put on the table of
civilized man.
Beans. native to Europe and the
East Indies, have been cultivated from
the earliest times. The pea is a native
OF Asia and was brought by the Aryans
into Italy and Greece.
Lentils, which come from the Hima-
layas, were probably the hrst plants
man ever cultivated. The lentil is cul-
tivated in India. Persia. Syria. Egypt.
Nubia and parts OF Europe.
The turnip came from Rome. Spinach
IL from Persia, brought into Spain by
the Arabs. Lettuce comes from the
east and the ancients called 1t the food
Of the dead. 1t was eaten at the end
OF a feast to counteract the heating
effects Of the wine.
Asparagus has always been . favor
lte. II Whs originally q Wllu se3CO00t
weed OF Great Britain and Russia and
the Greeks and Romans were very fond
of it 1t ia closely related to the IA
nous asphodel, which the ancients sup
posed was the leading flower OF ely
sium. Asparagus is SO plentiful on the
Russian steppes that the cattle cat
1t like grass In some parts of south
ern EurODe the acadia ara drt>A ..A
used as subsutute Ter ceRsA
The Springfield herald., 1898-03-11
BLOW AT TAX DODGERS.
FIX President Harrison, In "a Speech, Says
Something should BE Done.


EX-Prcsident Harrison, in his Wash
ington's birthday Grafton on "The OBJ
legations of Wealth." before the Union
League Club of Chicago. made some
observations that are worthy the con-
sideration of the wcllto-dO. to whom
they We're directed. He spoke in par
ticular of taxes as debt of the high
est obligation, and deprecated the at
tempt of possessOrs of property to
evade their payment. The inequality
of taxation Is an evil which he would
have the rich take the lead In remedy
ing. He said:
I'VE must inaugurate. and at once.
II system that shall equalize tax bur
dens. The men of wealth in our great
communities should lead the move-
mcnt. This great club, organized as n
rallying center for loyalty and patriot
ic citizenship, should hear call rs
loud and imperative rs that which
came to it during the years of the
civil war. Mr.. Lincoln's startling dec
laration that this country could not
continue to exist half slave and half
free may be parnphrased to-day by
saying that this country cannot con-
time to exist half taxed and half free.
This sense of inequality breathes a
fierce and unmeasuring anger-creates
classes, intensifies social differences
and makes men willing to pay their
debts in half dollars"
Too much stress cannot be laid upon
the need for men of wealth and high
business ability to take the lead in
remedying evils of this nature More
intelligent and unselfish leadership in
settling the complicated problems of
government Is the need of American
democracy to-day. If the country is
not to retrograde, men of wealth and
business ability must recognize the OBJ
legations of wealth and give literally
of their time-which is much more i'm
portant to the improvement of society
than contributions of money-in help
ing democracy to solve the problems
confronting the nation. Only so can
the security of property be permanent
ly assured
1t is well that eX-President Harrison
took occasion to make these observa-
tions. for the class to which they were
directed may heed such counsel from n
man of his prominence and known re-
spcct for property rights. 1t was fit
ting. too, that WashingtOns birthday
should be chosen for such an address,
Washington was for his time man
of great wealth. He regarded its pos
session as imposing upon him obliga-
tionS beyond those of the ordinary citi-
zen. 1t is a sign of degeneracy that to-
day too few men of great wealth rec
ognize that their possessions impose
upon them obligations to render to So
cicty and to government unselfish and
Intelligent service for the benefit of
all.-ChcagO Record
The Springfield herald., 1898-03-11
AN OPEN LETTER TO MOTHERS,

We are asserting In the courts our right to the
exclusive use OF the word ''CASTORIA," and
"PITCliER'S CASTORIA." " as our Trade Mark.
I, DR.. Samuel Pitcher, OF Hynnnis, Massachu-
setts, was the originator OF "PITCHER'S CAS-
ToRIA." the same that has borne and does now
bear the fac-simile signature of CHAS. IL
FLETCHER on every wrapper. This is the
original PITCHERS CASToRIA" which has
been used In the homes of the mothers Of
America for over thirty years Look carefully
at the wrapper and see that it is the kind you
have always bought" 4" and hns the signature OF
C1IAS. II. FLETCHER on the Wrapper. No
one has authority from me to use my name
except The Centnur Company of which Chas.
II. Fletcher is President.
March 8. 1897. SAMUEL PITCHER. NJ d.
The Springfield herald., 1898-03-11

dealers are saying. "Oh, what nuisance
the wall paper business has become; how
much time and investment it take and
how little the profitr' How many paint
ers and decorators who have lent their
influence to push forward the wall paper
craze now find their occupation gone. To
all such We would say: Use, sell and advo-
Alabastine can be used on either plas-
tered walls, wood ceilings, brick or can
vass. Is absolutely fireproof in its nature,
Is durable, and anyone can brush it on.
Alabastine is sold by paint dealers every
The Springfield herald., 1898-03-11
c..arrh Cannot He Cured

with LOCAL APPLICATIONS. as they
cannot reach the seat OF the disease. Ca
tarrh is blood or constitutional dis
ease. and in order to cure 1t you must
take internal remedies. Halls Catsrrh
Cure is taken internally, and acts direct
" on the blood and mucous surfaces
Halls Catarrh Cure is not quack med
icine. 1t was prescribed by one of the
best physicians in this country for years
posed OF the best tonics known. combin-
ed with the best blood purifiers. acting
directly the mucous surfaces. The
perfect combination of the two ingredi-
ents is what produces such wonderful re-
suits In curing Catarrh Send for testi-
monials, free.
F. j. CHENEY & co, Props. Toledo. o.
Sold by druggists, price 75c.
Halls Family Pills are the best.
The Springfield herald., 1898-03-11
PRES. M,KINLEY VS.. FREE SILVER.

PRES. M'KINLEY VS.. FREE SILVER.
battle of giants is going to take
place this summer on 10000 farms in
America, not in talk or votes, but Ill
yields. Salzer's two new potato mar
wells are named as above, and he Of
fers a price for the biggest potato yield,
also $500 in gold for suitable names for
his corn az inches long, and oat pro-
digies. Only seedsmen in America grow
ing grasses, clovers and farm SEEDS
and selling potatoes at $1.5o barrel.
The editor urges you to try Salzer's
Northern Grown Seeds. and to
Send This Notice with 10 Cts. in Stamps
to John A. Salzer Seed Co.. La Crosse,
Wis, for II new farm seed samples
worth $1,000. to get start. and their
big catalogue. Wing.
The Springfield herald., 1898-03-11
sound Money Discussions.

Between now and next presidential
election there will be hosts of discus
sions of sound money" and silver.
However opinions may be divided on
these points, there is but one univer-
sal opinion regarding the merits of
Hostetter's stomach Bitters MS a rem
edy for malaria and liver trouble.
The Springfield herald., 1898-03-11
4 Great bird.

The champion parrot, named Jacob. lately
exhibited by Mr. Grant Ridley In house In
the Holloway road, London, brings In $500
f1.66O for him. but he Is worth more than
that. This wonderful bird has perfect com
mand over 1000 words. and never puts n
sentence together incorrectly. He can also
talk three languages and ten dialects. What
ever language or dialect you address, him In
Eighty pounds was paid by the Archduchess
Stephanie, widow of the, Austrian crown
prince, for n parrot which could recite the
Paternoster In six different languages. When
the archduchess got the wonderful bird II
could not utter n word. and the merchant
who sold 1t was arrested for fraud. 1t
turAed out that he was n vcntriloquist. and
he had taught the bird to open its mouth
and appear to he talking while his ventrllo-
Qnism lasted. The sultan OF Turkey pni,l
f3O for II gray parrot who could speak 25o
The Springfield herald., 1898-03-11

Don't buy n lawsuit or injunction with
cheap kalsomine. All cold.water kalso-
mines are cheap limitations Of Alabastine.
No dealer is justified in risking q suit
and heavy damages while trying to in
troduce and sell direct infringement on
Alabastine. The right to manufacture
and sell wall coat'ug adapted to be mixed
with cold water is covered by lettsrs
patent owned by the Alabastine Co
The Springfield herald., 1898-03-11
ALABAsTINE Is WHAT

Alabastine is a durable and natural
coating for walls and ceilings entirely
different from all knlsomine preparations,
made ready for use in white or twelve
beautiful tints by the simple addition Of
water --latest make being adapted to mix
with cold water), put up in dry powder
form, in pound packages, with full di-
rections on every package.
The Springfield herald., 1898-03-11
neu York,. we.l.h, nootbl.eh.

A New York bootblack named Tony,
who has five different branches in the
city does such a large business at one
Of these shops he has been compelled
to employ young woman as
cashier. Tony pays more than $4,000
a year for rent alone. His total ex-
pensee annually are in the neighbor
hood of $15,OOo.-New York Evening
World.
The Springfield herald., 1898-03-11
Beauty is Blood Deep.

Clean blood means clean skin. No
beauty without it, Cascarets, Candy Cathar-
tic cleans your blood and keeps it clean, by
stirring up the lazy liver and driving all I'M
Danish pimplcs, boils, blotches, ,blackheads,
and that sickly bilious complexion by taking
Cascarets, beauty for ten cents: All drug
pists. satisfaction guaranteed, l0c. 25c, boc'
The Springfield herald., 1898-03-11
WHAT ARE KALsoMrsEs,

Kalsomines are cheap temporary prep
arations manufactured from chalks,
clays, whiting. etc, arc stuck on the wall
with decaying animal glue. Alabastine
is a cement, which goes through process
of setting, hardens with age, can be re-
coated and re-decorated from time to time
without having to wash and scrape Off Its
old coats before renewing
The Springfield herald., 1898-03-11

have contracted with you to do Alabas-
tine work are furnishing cheap kalsomines
that will spoil your walls send us sam
pie, and we will advise you II it is our
goods. II not, do not pay for your work.
and we will help you bring the fraudulent
parties and infringers of our trade mark
to justice. Alabastine Co., Grand Rapids,
Mich.
The Springfield herald., 1898-03-11
SEATTLE. unnnestionabl

SEATTLE, unquestionably best and
cheapest starting point and outtitting sta
ton for Alaska and klondike. does no. nsk
or advise you to go, but you will find
Seattle's facilities, stocks and experience
unsurpassed and prices the very lowest.
Washington state has kIondikes OF its own.
Seattle is the chief city. Strangers are
protected by Public Comfort Bureau. Ad-
dress Chamber of Commerce, Seattle, Wash.
The Springfield herald., 1898-03-11

An abandoned railway tunnel. running for
mile under the city OF Edinburgh. has been
used for some years as a mushroom farm.
II turns out nearly 5000 pounds Of mush-
rooms n month and has put an end to the
Importation Of foreign mushrooms into Edin-
hurph
The Springfield herald., 1898-03-11

Look here. Jackson. what about
that $40 you borrowed of me and
promised to return in ten daysT'
'Why. that's all right; I'll renew the
promise"
The Springfield herald., 1898-03-11
Smoke slcdge Cigarettes, 30 for cts.

"Do you want to know what Tompkins
thinks of you?" mo; I don't care what he
thinks OF mc-tcll me what he says about
me-"
The Springfield herald., 1898-03-11

FITS permanently Crroi .,ofts after
first day OF DR.. kline's Great Nerve Restorer
send ior FREE 5000 trial bottle and treatise.
The Springfield herald., 1898-03-11

az hate men that quote poetry" .WhyT'
"Thcy Just 20 on and on and never pro
pose"
The Springfield herald., 1898-03-11

what is fugitive poem'?" "A
fugitive poem is one that chases you
through the newspapers for months nt
a time"
The Springfield herald., 1898-03-11

Didn't you tell me this medicine was so
good that my children would cry for itf
mo, you misunderstood me: told you they
would cry after it,"
The Springfield herald., 1898-03-11

"Doctors say that weeping Is beneficial for
women" .'Yes: when l cry real hard my
husband generally gives me 80"
The Springfield herald., 1898-03-11

well. Billy. how do you feel about
war with Spain?" Il can't go; I've
been fighting our janitor all winter"
The Springfield herald., 1898-03-11
WANT A CHANGE.

How many women are saying, "Oh, l
want change in my wall decorations; I
am tired Of wall paper" How many
The Springfield herald., 1898-03-11

Henry. what shall give up during
Lcntl' .'weli. julia. | wish you would give
up coaxlng me for wheel, but know you
WON'T
The Springfield herald., 1898-03-11

How do you tell n good cIgar?' at
is one that I can smoke without by
wife's making II row."
The Springfield herald., 1898-03-11

'Im getting rich now" Making more
money!" 'No-spending less"
The Springfield herald., 1898-03-11

Two bottles of piso's Cure for Consunp'
tion cured ne of bad lung troublc.-Mrs J.
Nichols. Princeton Ind. March 20. 1895.
The Springfield herald., 1898-03-11

"Kitty. how did you get such charming
expression In your photog raph?" al made
the photographer mad. and then. of course.
couldn't help looking pleased
The Springfield herald., 1898-03-11

TO CURE A COLD IN ONE DAY.
Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets. All
Druggists refund the money II IL fnis to cure s5c
The Springfield herald., 1898-03-11

"Mr and Mrs. Dadsley. next door. are so
congcnial." 'Ahi' 'Ies; he lets her have
her own way about everything.
The Springfield herald., 1898-03-11

Educate Your Bowels with Cascarsts.
Candy Cnthartc, cure constipation forever
100. a5c IfC c. G. fail. druggists refund money
The Springfield herald., 1898-03-11

'.What kind of seat do you get for n
minstrel show Near enough to hear the
music: but not near enough to hear the
IokcS."
The Springfield herald., 1898-03-11
CAUTION.

Should you suspect that parties who
The Springfield herald., 1898-03-11

Ho-To-Bac for FIFTY Cents.
Guaranteed tobacco habit cure, makes weak
men strong blood pure. Soc. Sl. All druggists
The Springfield herald., 1898-03-11

Mrs. WinsIow's Soothing syrup
For children the nlam.
nation aAys pain, wind cole. "a cents bottle