Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1898-03-25
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black and blue will be all rght.-Judge
She-Jones is fine fellow, isn't he?
He-Hes; he has had his leg broken
oftener than any football player in the
country.
Perkins Ito Jenkins)--I heard this
morning that Barlow has been arrest
ed. What has he done? Jenkins
Everybody.
Miss Ethel wonder if that gentle
man can hear me when sing? Maid
OF course he can. He is closing the
window already.-Tit-Bits.
"What do you think of womans
rights" Il think" replied the shoe
clerk, that they ought to match wom-
ans lefts."-Chicngo Post
Patlence-What is the cheapestlook-
ing thing you ever saw about a bargain
counter? PATRICIA husband waiting
for his wife.-Yonkers Statesman.
Magistrate-The evidence shows that
you threw a stone at the man. Mrs
McDuff-An' it shows more than that,
yer honor. 1t shows that l hit him.
Dramatic author debating play)-
Mary, my light, my life. l love you;
will you be mine? Lady Typist (whose
name Is Mary)-Are you still debating? !?
Mabel-You should see the French
Count who Is dancing attendance upon
me. Susie-Ah, French dancing mas
ter, dear Philadelphia North Ameri-
can.
Charles Bragg-Yes, Miss Brightly,
1t costs me ten thousand dollars a year
to live. Miss Blightly-Oh, Mr.. Bragg,
do you think it's worth it?-Boston
Traveller.
Ledgerby-It does seem good to see
old Daybuke back at his desk after his
long illness. Bilfile-You bet it does
| was afraid it was arOther case of 50
all round for floral tribute.-Chlcago
Journal.
81 have a doctors certificate here
that l cannot sing tonight" said the
prima donna. "WhatW roared the
manager; I'll give you a certificate
that you never could sing."-Detroit
Free Press.
Mrs. Wabash-Mrs. Lakeside is 60
ing to celebrate his golden wedding
next week. Mrs. .Manhattan-You don't
say sol Mrs. Wabash-Yes; she will
then have been married fifty tines
Town Topics.
Ethel-Isn't it strange that Flossie
attracts such intellectual men? Maud
Oh, no; she told me she always planned
her gowns when they talk to her, and
that gives her face that interested ex-
pression.-Harper's Bazaar.
'Do you really mean to stand by
what you say about retiring from pub
lie lifei" inquired the intimate friend
just before an election. How do I
know" responded the politician; I'm
no prophet. ."-Washineton Star.
Miss Thlrtysmith (meaningly)-An
Italian proverb says that honest men
marry soOn," and Jack Swift (sol-
emnly)-I can not conceal it any long
er; live in deadly fear of being at any
utltolCI lol CllpSLLltlutut.--
Puck.
II don't know which is worse" NUT
tered young Blunderheads at the swell
reception, retreating to corner and
wiping his perspiring brow; ''but I be-
lieve 1 would rather be run over by a
train than to step on one"'-Chicago
Tribune.
"Did you ever go into dark room,
yet something seemed to tell you there
was some one thereT asked the spiritu.
alistic medium. "Oh, yesw replied the
man; Il used to have that experience
often, in my counting days. ."-Yonkers
Statesman.
Blunderly docking at female por.
traffic Great gracious. What hldeous
face. Where did you find that sitteri
Artist (coldly)-That, sir, is portrait
of my sister. Blunderly-I beg your
pardon. My mistake, I'm sure. After
all, ought to have noticed the family
resemblance-Tlt-Bi
Magistrate-You were drunk, OF
course, when the hold-up men went
through you? Battered-up prisoner
was, your honor. Magistrate-They gOt
everything you had, suppose? Batter
ed-up prisoner-Everything, your hon
or, except two-dollar bill had in my
watch pocket. Magistrate-The fine
will be two dollars. Call the next case
Chicago Tribune.
81 do so enjoy being at sea, away out
Of sight of land" said the ingenue. III
Is romantic" assented the soubrette. 81
hadn't thought Of that. But when
look all around and see the horizon a