Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1898-11-04
WHAT DOOLEY SAYS.
as to the Personnel of the Present United
States Army.

eS TO inc Personnel of the Present United
States Army.
well sir" said Mr. Dooley. 81 didn't
vote f'r Mack, but I'm with him nov.
1 had me doubts whether he was in
gr-reatest military JANUS iv tn cinch.
ry, but they'se no question about it.
We wint into this war with ould Spain
with about tn most fasli'nablc ARMY
that liver creased its pants. Twas n
daily hint firm Paris to tn crool foe.
Other gin'rals iy tn r-rough-hOcse
Kind, like Napoleon Bonypart, tn i'm
proa Nv tn Frinch. Gip'ral Ulls S.
Grant. an Cousin George Dooley. hired
coarse, rude men that widdcn't know
IN difference between goluf an crokay,
an had their pants tucked in thiar
boots an chowcd tobacco be tn pound.
Thank hivin Mckinley knows bother
thin to sind tn likes iv thin abroad 20
shock our frinds be dumpin their cof-
fee into thimsilves firm saucer.
Th durc bell rings an futman in
liv'ry says I'm Master Willie Doosel-
bcry's man an he's come to be ex-
amncd FIR tn ARMY says he. Admit
him. says Mckinley, an' Master Willie
enters, accompanied he his valley. his
nah an pah an tn comfy iv tn gOluf
club. Willie says the President, 'yc
ARE inthcring upon a gloryous career.
an It's mic 'ssary that we shud be thruly
examined so that yc can teach III
glories iv civilization to tn tyr-ranies
Nv Europe that is supported he ye-cr
pah an mah,' he says ''Twud he a
turr'ble thing he says. "if some day
they shud meet Spanish gin'ral in
Mahdrid an have him say to thin: 4
seen yc'er son Willie durin' tn war
wearin' Il stovepipc bat an tan shoes
Let us begin tn examination he
says. Are We Il good golur player g
L am says Willie. Thin | appint We a
liftenant. What we ncedin' tn army is
good gOluf players he says. In our
former war he says, we had tn mis-
fortune to have men in command that
didn't know tn difference between a
goluf an Il beecyclc an what was tn
raysult? We fooz.ed our approach ut
Bun R-run,' he says. ARE We a MINI
her iv amy clubs?' he says. Four
says Willie. Thin I make We a major
he says. Where dye get ye'er pants?
he says. Firm England says Willie
'Gloryous.' says Mckinley. | make We a
colonel he says. Let me thry We in
tactics he says. Suppose ye was con-
fronted be Il Spanish ARMY in tn
AFTERNOON. how wud We dhrefs?' lie
says. I'd wear L stovepip hat, Il long
coat, white vest an lavender pants
says Willie. An if tn attack was he
nisht| he says. i put on me dhrcss
shoot an go out to meet Thin SAYS
Willie. a Truro sojer,' says Mckinley.
Suppose tn sOciable lasted all night?
he says, I'd sound tn retreat Mt day
break an have me brave boys change
back. he says, to suitable apparl.' he
says. 'Masterly.' says Mckinley. L will
sind ye'er name in as brigadier-gin'-
raj he says. BE Thankful, III r'rich.'
he says. is brave an pathriotic.' he
says. We will jinc III o.hc, us finn
tn club at Tampa. he says. 'Ye shud
be careful iv ye'er equipment. he says
1 hay almost iv'rything r-ready.' says
Willie. Me man attinded To thin de-
tails he says. But | fear can't 80 to
tn front immejetly,' he says Nc
pink silk shirts hasn't arrived. he
says. Well says Mack, wait f'r thim,'
he says. I'm anxious f'r to ind this hor-
bic war he says. which has cost me
nanny sleepy night he says, but
twud be n crime FIR to sind sojer I'M