Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1898-03-11
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lhlS was the tale ne tOid.
They lived up by the KlOndke,
And the ground was full of gold.
Washington Star.
Had One.-Willie-Say pa, what's a
floating debt? Pa-Our yacht, my son.
Chicago News.
Bill-Hes got good square head on
his shoulders. Jill-SOrt of a hollow
square, isn't t?-Yonkers Statesman.
Artst-How much do you think that
picture is worth? Visitor-I have no
idea of the cost of artists materials
Up-to-Date.
Simmons-Don't you think poetry is
declining? Timmins-It isn't declining
so much as being declined.-IndianapO
lis Journal.
Nel-Mr. Stillicus is only an apology
for man. belle-W ell, woulun you
accept an apology if it were offered?-
Boston Traveller.
She-Yes, they say there's fool in
every family. Don't you think so? He
-Er-well, you see, I'm the only men,
Der of the family y.-Pick-Me-Up.
Mistress of the House-My good man,
did you ever take a bath? Tramp
No. num- | never took anything big
germ a silver teapot.-Tit-Bits.
Most Proba able.-Penelope-And what
do you think? Marie writes me that
the count has at last expressed his love
to her Ethel-H'm,-C. o. D., sup
poSe?-Puck.
Too High.-AIrs. Poeticus-Don't you
think my new hat is poem: Poeticus
No. Mrs. Poeticus-Why not? Poeti-
cus-Oh, Pm merely judging by its
price.-Truth.
Teacher-But can't you define obi
cycle?" Suppose some one asked you
what bicycle is, what would you say?
Pupil-I'd say, Don't you know what a
} bicycle isY'-Puck.
"A man nowadays" said the young,
cynical boarder, "who is upright, is
| peach. 81 should suggest" said the
Cheerful Idiot, "that he was plumb
indianapolis Journal
Eaton makes me tired, Dragging of
his wife all the time, as he does. He
says that all he is he owes to her."
'Do you call that Dragging about her?''
New York Journal.
Barker has little too much self
confidence" "I'll have to disagree.
Barker has too much sense to put any
confidence in anything he hears himself
say. y.''-Indianapolis Journal.
Browne-Did you ever see a man
who really wanted the earth? Towne
oh, yes. Browne-WhO was he?
Towne--A first-trip passenger on an
ocean Tner.-Brooklyn Life.
"You shall be rich and famous said
the fortune-teler Alas cried the
sitter; then 1 am undone. For my
dream was to devote my life to art
Philadelphia North American.
"One great trouble wifi folks" said
Uncle Eben, ''is dat dey's li'ble ter mis-
take de smalles' speck on dah serenity
for de pint whah patience ceases ter
be virtue. Washington Star.
Quite Likely y-BrOwn-What would
you do if some one should leave you a
hundred thousand dollars? Jones
l suppose I'd begin to realize how little
hundred thousand really is.-Truth.
Are you a believer in the theory
that to the victOrs belong the spoils?'
That replied Senator Sorghum, de
perds entirely on whether or not 1 am
one of the victors. ."-Washington Star.
She-How would you punctuate the
following: Bank of England notes of
various values were blown along the
street by the wind?" He-I think /
would make dash after the notes.
1it-Bits.
! Have you written to your niece"
''To Mary?" YES" mo, | haven't.
Fact Is, l can't remember how she
spells her name lately. It's either
Marie, Marye or Marie. cleveland
Plaindealer.
Young Parent-Come right in, old
man, and have drink I'm a happy
father. Old Parent-No, my boy; Pm
much obliged; but | can't encourage
you in your delusions.-Philadelph
North American.
Skinny Bill-Do you believe In
ghosts? Bloody Mike-Do L? met
one once. Stood right in my path.
Gee. What did you do?" "Jis' KEEP
on goin' and went through him."-Cin-
cinnati Enquirer.
Very wet and slippy under foot this
morning" Not particularly. Out
where live it's worse than this twelve
months in the year" Where do you
live if may askY' in lighthouse"