The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1898-08-17
snec,o, 10 The Scranton Tribune.


Special to The Scranton Tribune.
Susquehanna, Aug. 16.-The idea that
newspapers are made passes current
only in printing Offices. 1t is an hallu-
cination. Newspapers grow. Almost
anybody can get out a readable, wide
awake, able newspaper. II requires
shoemaker to make a pair Of shoes and
a tailor to build a suit of clothes, yet
anybody can edit newspaper. 1t re-
quires only a little time and the op-
portunity. You ought to try it, say for
day or week. Take a small daily or
weekly for a trial trip. The tired edi-
tor will be glad to get a few days off
to fish for other suckers. Equip your
self with a few quires of paper and a
dozen or so Of sharpened pencils. You
may bring along your brains, if you
have them lying about handy. You
will know when to begin work when the
foreman commences to swear about
copy. When you get under motion you
will be surprised to see how walls will
he quite full of of ideas--and bugs.
Brilliant thoughts will chase each other
through your burning brain like cam
just hear your thinker whirring and
whizzing, like an electric light ma
chine. After you have settled about
all the great questions of the day, to
your own satisfaction and marked
them for your editorial page, you can
come down to earth and attend to the
news pages. That's dead easy. You
can find news everywhere from the
IL,
society. or course murders, suicides,
elopements. $40 900 fires and burglares
will occur during the day. 1t doesn't
make much difference how they are
written up. The principle thing is to
see that the foreman uses the very
largest wood type in the office for the
display heads. Your most intimate
friends will drop in during the day,
after they hear you are editor of the
paper, with blood-curdling and amaz-
ing items like these: Merchant John
son has just returned from New York
with a seasonable line of goods.
Our aged resident Mrs. Amanda
Spriggs, is enjoying poor health.
The prayer meeting will meet as usu-
al tonight.
Our popular butcher. Sam Sawedoff,
sprained his thumb today. He is doing
we'll under the skillful treatment of
DR.. Squills.
The society for the amelioration of
the condition of Spaniard goats will
meet at the rectory on Thursday even
ing.
These will fill in a big gap. They
Will come as a cup of cold water in a
sandy desert. To cap ALL puff few of
your personal friends, give your enc
mics few hard jabs for luck, and
your days work will probably be
ended. To save profanity in the COM
posing room the foreman will probably
be glad to correct proof. Then nor
your fevered brow and waltz home
When the editor returns home he will
say some things not to be found In
the revised verison, and the readers
of the paper will wonder what----
is editing the paper now.
HEARD IN SUSQUEHANNA.
The Free Methodist camp meeting
at Ararat will begin on Wednesday
This will call Forest City editors tc
repentance. While the lamp of life
holds out to burn the Stumpville citi
zens may return.
Burglars on Sunday afternoon enter
ed the residence of John Ferguson, esq.
in Oakland township, and made of
whit a quantity of jewelry, etc, This
is probably the only case on RECORD
where anybody succeeded in robbing {
lawyer.
Hon. Amos ]. Cummings will tomor
row return from Washington to Co
lumbian Grove, and resume the pleas
ure of pulling great bass from thei
bed in the raging Susquehanna.
The funeral of John Saager, an aget
resident of the Oakland side, occurred
on Sunday afternoon. The remains
We're inferred in McKune cemetery.
The funeral of Miss Mary Mccoy
an aged resident of Lanesboro, occur
red from st. Johns Catholic church ol
Saturday morning. The interment wa
made in Laurel Hill cemetery.
The funeral of the late Thomas Tay
lor, sr, occurred and was largely at
tended on Saturday afternoon. Rev
w. ]. Cleveland, rector of Christ Epis
copal church, officiating Starucc
lodge, No. 423, and Dora Rebekah lodg
attended in a body. The interment wa
in Laurel Hill cemetery.
THE OTHER SIDE OF LIFE.
This world is not so bad as som
would like to make it.; but whethe
good or whether bad depends on hoy
they take it, There are lots of peopl
who mix their religion with their busi
ness, but forget to stir it up. AS
result, the business invariably comes {
the top.
One of the greatest needs of tn
country seems to be young wome
typewriters who won't get married.
The Ladies Home Journal says tha
"bustles are coming to the front.
Fearful-if true!
A Susquehanna county man advel
tises for d homekeeper, and adds, q
a postscript, that he has an "A / e