The Wilmington daily Republican. (Wilmington, Del.) 1890-1902, 1898-05-26

having, a. Mrs. wilson snf6Wu1y sup
posed. got out Of all notion Of ter
minating bis own earthly existence,
he blazed away wrathfully into the
first thing which presented itself, and
which happened to be the pork bar
rel.
"Thatll fetch her down, ! guess"
he chuckled, triumphantly, and no
got ready to throw himself down and
appear very seriously injured when
she should come to see what the mat
ter was; but, to his unparalleled aston
ishment, no attention seemed to be
taken of the ominous sound.
He sat for about five minutes, i'm
patiently kicking at the barrel and
waiting for Jane to come down and
see what was the matter with him,
when savory odor floated from above
to his olfactories. A moment longer
he sat, and then, as his temper return
ed, duly REINFORCED by this shame
full neglect" he started to his feet.
exclaiming:
II believe in my heart that instead
of pining over my loss, as any ordin-
airy woman would do, she's eating all
the dinner up, and them vegetables
all of my own raising, too! 1t smells
mighty good up there, any how, and
I'll be rummed If I amt most eternal
ly hungry I'll go right up and put
a stop to such heartless proceedings,
quick meter; although l declare l be-
gin to feel kinder FOOLISH"
During this interval, Mrs. Wilson
had finished setting the table, and.
the dinner being done, was all dished
up and smoking upon It,; and as wear
lily ten minutes had elapsed, and her
husband had not yet made his APP
pearance, she began to feel little
uneasy about him.
She was just debating as to whether
she should 60 down at once and see
whether anything happened or wait
a few minutes longer, when a step up
on the stairs set all her fears at rest,
and made roguish smile dimple her
cheek, and the next moment the GEL
lar door was kicked energetically open
and an irate visage presented itself,
while a stentorian voice demanded:
What kind of feelings have you
women folks got I should just like to
know! Why on earth didn't you come
down and see whether was alive or
not? Amt you got any curiosity
about you?"
"Why, my dear, Is that you?" ex-
claimed Mrs. Wilson, giving little
start and scream, and putting on a
look of surprise; Il was just congratu-
lating myself that you had shown so
much resolution for once, and thinking
how much the housekeeping expenses
would be diminished! You do eat
such a dreadful amount, you know"
well, ! never!" exclaimed the as
founded Mr.. Wilson, stopping right
short In the middle of the floor, with
such comical mixture Of wonder.
amusement and incredulity expressed
upon his countenance, that 1t was en-
tirely too much for his wife's gravity,
and throwing herself into chair, she
laughed until the tears ran down her
cheeks.
Here, wait moment" she inter-
posed, as her husband, after staring at
her in speeches. establishment for a
few moments, was about to take his
seat at the table, that set forth such
a tempting invitation; tell me first
what you have destroyed down eel
lar. don't know that I can afford
to let you have any dinner"
II only knocked hole into that
COMPOUNDED pork Darrell" growled
Mr.. Wilson; then, as the righteousness
of his action suddenly struck him, he
threw himself back and INDUCED In
hearty guffaw.
Here, Jane" he exclaimed at last;
"I'll own up that I've made precious
fool of myself, and am glad that
you're a woman of too much sense to
mind my threats. So, now, let me
have some of these nice things that
you've been getting ready for me, and
We'll say no more about it."
mo, sir! you shan't touch mouth
full until I've given you a bit of a
lecture" replied his wife, imprison-
ing his hands in her own; you've
got an awful bad temper, and | mean
to try and cure 1t. If you don't have
everything ready the moment you
want it, you fly off into tangent, and
say all manner of awful things, just
to brighten me! Now, you've got to
promise that you'll behave great
deal better in the future, or else go
back to the field without morsel of
dinner! Which will you do?"
"Ill promise!" said Mr.. Wilson.
obediently.
And he kept his word like man!