Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1898-10-12

ond before OF a second after, and I'd fight
ono Spaniard or 80 with that idea in my
head or a bullet there,
SO | went up to enlist, and all the
time my head was filled with the idea that
even If | was Il failure here I'd be a sue
cess in Cuba--a dead success maybe-but
not a failure, and it almost broke my
heart, Ben, when they rejected me.
II walked out to the park after that
and sat on a bench TO think the matter
over carefully. 1t evidently wasn't my
kismet to be il soldier, and then n great,
big, OVERLOOKING idea struck me. Never In
my life had l bucked against my fate.
I'd gone along, content with today be,
cause tomorrow was IA day distant. Why
not assert myself, say, to that fate of mine
that from this second henceforth I shall
direct you-not you, me.
"It was then [ decided on my mode of
death. Make 1t accidental, thought | to
myself, and you kill two birds with one
stone, in addition to killing yourself. To
begin with, Ben, old man, you have loaned
me In the past two years in IS and $40
morsels exactly $115. I've kept careful
count, and SO I bought an accident policy
for 81, 1000 and had it made out in your
name. That liquidates my debt and gives
you some hundreds over in which to in
dulge in cigarettes. The policy l inclose.
well, you were one Of the birds this
accident stone was to bring down; the 9th
er was to hoodwink the world into the fact
that l possessed some sterling worth, after
all, and was q dear, good fellow if I was
only understood. The easiest thing under
the sun, Ben, dear, is to hoodwink the
world, 80 my task wasn't u hard one.
81 began by taking in these cheap ex-
cursions that go up and down the Della
ware. You know they overcrowd the
boats horribly, and 1 thought that maybe
some lucky day one of these boats would
upset. Then could save Is or 30 people
from a watery grave and just as l got the
twenty-arst propped up against the wharf
I'd gracefully sink and drown because ex-
hausted. l went to seven of these excur-
sions and not an accident happened on
any Of them.
"Then l followed fire engines, hoping I
could save whole families from burning
buildings and eventually be overcome by
the smoke. But evidently my specially
isn't steamboats, or fires. a
II almost saved u w~orkingman frdn
being crushed to death by a huge stone he
was having hoisted on "a building in the
course Of erection, but l was IL feet away
at the time and the poor fellows life was
crushed out before l could even turn my
head.
II just missed saving a child from be-
ing run over by a trolley car, but again I
was several seconds late.
And SO, Ben, dear, I'm afraid l must
give up the saving idea and conflne my
self solely to the accident phase of it, that
some day l must slip in front of an Ice
wagon or a moving train or something of
an equally exciting nature, and yet I
would dearly love to save some one-not
for the humane side of it, but merely to
FOOL the world into the belief that l pos
sess one or two noble traits.
But I've decided inexorably on the &C
cidental nature of my death. That robs
the home folks Of the idea Of suicide and
helps me pay my debt to you by making
that insurance policy good.
And now to close. Think kindly OF
me once in awhile, Ben, old man. I'm as
full of flaws as God could allow me to be,
but deep down In me, old friend, I feel
there was something that hadn't a chance
to develop, that differently placed or bet
ter understood ia have made something
of my life. I've been stiff necked and
stubborn, but now that l am dead flor l
am dead or you wouldn't be reading these
lines) can t%ruthfully say that I never
knowingly hurt a human being. If q man
thought me fairly decent, l did my best to
show him he was not mistaken; II another
man thought me foul, l did all I could to
foster that impression. / made a mistake
there. Perhaps / didn't. Men found me
as they chose to find me. I never have
said a decent thing Of myself in my life. |
I can be pardoned saying one or two now
that I'm dead.
"And one thin g more: ! feel sure that
In that other world beyond u sight /
will not DO judged so harshly as I have
been here.
"Goodby, old comrade of a happier time.
10 you, who understood Inc best and who
tried to advise me, my poor, old battered
heart goes out. I'm writing this in the
park, with the birds singing ~joyously
about me, the green grass stirring with
every passing breeze, the sunlit river flow
ing at my feet. Everythin g seems peace
full and full of the goodness and the glory
Of God. And from this scene l must tear
myself away and go to meet my fate face
to face.
"God bless you, Ben, and good night! i
''PHIL RANsoME."
For fully five minutes Brooke stared at
manuscript in front Of him. Then sheet
by sheet he held 1t to the gas until the let
ter was entirely consumed. Then he put
put the gas and looked out into the night.
The moon rode high in the heavens,
flooding the earth with Its glorious light.
its a peaceful world, said Benny
Brooke softly; "a very peaceful world. If
only men and women did not have hearts
that were turbulent, hearts that were
fierce, hearts that were dried up or hearts
that cried out in their pain. It's the
hearts that make the trouble in this fair
world, and we blame fate sometimes, and
God!'-Philadelphia Press.
Burdook Is . Vegetable.
What Is even regarded as a vile weed