Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1898-05-05
BILLINGS QUEERED HIMSELF
Wouldn't Call His Colonial House Bum
galow and Wouldn't Have a Den.

| Wouldn't Call His Colonial House Bun
galow and Wouldn't Have Den.
1T is all right for man to be a
snob in the city If he chooses, but it
makes him very unpopular in the
country" said Mr. Suburbanite as
he settled back in his chair. Now,
there is Billings" he added pointed
ly.
Billings is no snob, ," said Brown.
HE is an old friend of mine, and
I'll bank on Billings every time"
"That was what said before he
built house in my town. l told
every one that Billings was all
right, and now that Billings has
queered himself 1 am in hot water.
Billings was not a man who was
in the habit of queering himself.
What did he dos Shoot neighbours
dog2"
ooh, no!'' replied Suburbanite
YEARLY. Billings offense was more
serious than that. He declined to
call his house the Bungalow, and
every one of his neighbors resented
it. In fact, he wouldn't name the
house at all. -
"'That is to his credit" said
Brown.
"No, it ism 't-where Billings
lives" said Suburbanite. eff you
have any local pride at all, you are
bound to call your house the Bunga-
low 1t is absolutely necessary
Billings told me that he had
built a colonial house, and if he did
that would let him out. OF course
it would be absurd to call colonial
house bungalow"
'That was just what Billings was
foolish enough to say" said Sub
urbanite, "and unfortunately four
colonial houses in his part of town
were each called the Bungalow.
You see, the local dealer in note pa
per agreed several years ago to get
up special brand headed the
Bungalow, with the number and
street added to suit the purchaser, if
he were sure of having at least a
dozen customers who would order
it. Owing to death and fire the num-
Der of bungalows had been reduced
to II when Billings began to build,
and the paper dealer was complain
ing. When the rumor went the
rounds of the bowling clubs and
whist clubs that Billings had reject
ed the name bungalow, there was a
commotion, l can tell you. AS I had
vouched for Billings delegation of
indignant house owners called on
me at once and asked me if Billings
wanted to hurt the town or if he
was merely snob. I defended him
as best I could, but it was no use. y
"Poor Billings!'' said Brown.
"That was not his only offense, I"
continued Suburbanite. "When he
gave his house warming, he thought
that he could make his neighbors
forget the Bungalow incident by his
hospitality. He had a Hungarian
band and a caterer from New York,
and his house was we'll decorated.
Poor Billings Some one should have
coached him. One of the first guests
to arrive was a woman who has three
daughters who are popular. Conse.
quently she is something of social
power. She admired Billings par.
lors, his dining room and his billiard
room and then said:
! Now, Mr.. Billings, as a neal
neighbor and a friend I am going
to ask you favor. I think the key
note of every mans house is his
den. 1t indicates his tastes and fads
you know, and am going to ash
you to show me your den.
"'But haven't got any den, sale
I Billings.
! Now, Mr.. Billings she persist
ed, that is hardly fair. l am so anx
ious to see it!'
Really there is no such plac,
in my house, he said. I suspec
? that you mean one of those stuffy
little cubby holes usually filled VI
. with a lot of trash until you can
move and cherished as the exclusive
, retiring place of the master of tn
house. called to see my plumbe
, while the house was building, an,
4 he took me up to see his den, as b
! called it. The place was well named
\ You certainly didn't think that
= would have den in my housei'
+ Every house in the neighbor
! hood has a den, she answers
! sharply, and some of them ar
\ quite as nice houses as yours, MI
+ Billings
! Before the evening was ende
e several other women asked Mr.. Bill
ings where his den was, and whe
it became known that to add to hi
offensive rejection of the Bungalo,
e he had neglected to fit up den hi
,. doom was sealed. Billings says tina
| I, l. L. i