The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1898-10-19
hUMOR OE The DAY.

Because q man has wheels it does
not follow that he is noted for his
graceful carriage. Boston Transcript.
''You are not printing much war
poetry now," said caller to the ed
itor. "No; have erected trocha."
Judge.
''How does Mrs. Gargoyle come to
know so much of the Gummey family
affairs?" "Gargoyle bought Gum.
mey's parrot"
"How long does it take you to do
up q white ruflled skirt?" Laundress
-"Generally about two washings,
ma'am. Life.
''Was your parting with George as
affecting as you expected" "No; had
a horrid cold-sore ON my lip
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
"Are the people we'll bred at your
boarding house?" Don't mention
it. We even have to eat up the stale
pieces in the fora of bread pudding
Ilove my work. It's loss would grieve,
1 could not bear the sorrow.
So frugally strive to leave
A plenty for the morrow.
Washington Star.
'"There are ways and ways OF
breaking the ice," said the diner-out.
81 once took girl out to dinner
whose first remark to me was. DO
you talk or listen?' Tit Bits.
She couldn't stay but minute,
And she wouldn't sit down, OH no;
But she kept our dinner waiting
A long half hour or so.
Chicago Record.
Johnny had been playing around
the piano and had had fall. ''What
are you bawling about?" asked BERTHE,
contemptuously. "It was the soft
pedal your head hit. London Tit.
Bits
Pruyn--"Have you heard that hor.
rible story about old Stiffe being
buried alive?" DR.. Bolus hastily
"Buried alive? Impossible Why,
he was one of my patients. ."-Roxbury
Gazette.
"This," said Mr.. Filter, ''is pic.
ture of the only girl / ever loved"
"How cleverly," said Miss Wyse, as
she looked at the portrait, "they do
get up these composite photographer"
Truth.
eve are in danger" said one Span.
ish statesman, "of sinking into obi.
vion; of being almost forgotten by the
rest of the world" "Neverl" replied
the other proudly. "We still have
our debts. Washington Star.
81 often wonder" said Miss
Sprocket, "what becomes of the popu-
lar songs. They are so soon forgot
ten" "They meet with dreadful
iate," replied Mr.. Spokes. GLOW is
that?" Everybody murders them"
"Say," remarked the juvenile
philosopher to his father, GIVE been
down watching the ducks in the water
to-day, and I've decided that if our
ears grew between our toes we could
swim just as easily. Adams Free
man.
Mother" said Miss Dollie New.
rich, "can't father afford seat in
Parliament?" "a seat?" echoed the
good lady, scornfully. "My dear,
your father is rich enough to have a
whole sofa if he desires it."-London
Tit-Bits.
General" exclaimed the subor.
dinate officer in the Spanish army,
"what shall we do with these bundles
oftypewritten victories?" Hold on to
EN-. Maybe Don Carlos will give us
q chance to work some of 'em off yet"
Washington Star.
Wouldn't Miss the Chance: "She
says that he proposed to her, but that
they are not engaged" But they
knew her and they laughed long and
loud. "The only problem, they
said, sis to decide which of the two
statements is false. Chicago Post.
Mrs. Nooritch-"T suppose you
have noticed little Johnnie's awful
lapses in grammar? l really must
keep him from the servants" The
Neighbor-"Really? l was of the
opinion that he had learned them
from his grandfather. indianapolis
journal.
As for the beautiful pariah, she
merely sneered "Wretched neigh.
borsr' she exclaimed ''They shall
yet come to mel Look, | have WEALTH.
/ shall have telephone put in my
house! Ha, ha!' Oh, what a power
have riches to compel social recogni'
ion.-Detroit Journal.