The Dalles daily chronicle. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1948, 1898-10-27
GO SLOW ON WIDOWS.
That WINS the Piece of Good Advice
One of Them Gave a Smart
Young Man.


the train, which was an hour late,
queerlooking cart turned the corner.
They were driven by woman about so
years of age, who was barefoot and
wore a mans straw hat.
''Git up thar, Buckl" she exclaimed,
as she laid the "gad'' on the off OK with
a resounding whack. "You, thar.
Peter, what you sl1ittishun round that
way fur? Whoa, nowI Both of yous
stan still"
She turned them up to the platform.
threw down some hay taken from the
cart, and came up among us to inquire
of the depot agent about a barrel of
salt. He was busy then and she was
waiting around, when the smart Alick
of the crowd, who was travelling for
for her to overhear::
81 have always said if I married at
all, I'd marry a woman who could drive
oxen"
els that meant for me?" she asked.
as she walked straight up to him.
''Are you a widow, ma'am?"
ST am. Bin a widder ever since a
sawlog rolled over Jim nine years
ago."
"And you'd marry again if you had
the opportunity, would you?"
81 would. When Jim lay a-dyin' in
the house he told me to marry agin if
I had a show"
''Ahem! I see. Could you love sec
ond husband?"
81 could. It runs in our family to
love. We begin airly and keep it up to
-, q
I'm plain woman, full O. bizness, and
never do any foolin'. If you've got
anything to say, spit it right out afore
'em ALL"
II don't want to marry just now"
he stammered.
Don't eh? Then what's the use of
gettin' me on my tiptoes about it?
You man, you jest the same as asked
me to have you, and 1 jest the same as
accepted you'll"
so! No, no! Imerely made some in
quiries!'' he replied.
Then inquiries was about love, sir.
and my hearts a-thumping away like
all git out! I said I'd marry again, and
will. We are engaged. When do you
want me to be ready?"
Madam, you have totally misunder-
stood me-" explained the young man,
as he turned all sorts. of colors and ap-
peared to grow small. 'I asked you
few questions out of curiosity
''Mebbe the jury will call it curiosity,
and mebbe they WON'T" she said, as
she set her jaw.
''They don't allow no foolin' round
in Posey county. When a feller goes
as fur as you hev it's hitch or dam
ages. I'm a-tremblin' all over like a
girl, an my hearts a-tryin' to jump
out. It's regular love or I don't know
the road hum. You don't leave here,
young man, till this case is settled"
''But, ma'am you see"
''I don't know nuthin' but marriage
or damages. You've asked me to have
you. said I would. Will you marry
or settle?'
'How-how much ?" he gasped, as he
looked around and failed to find any
sympathy.
''Wall, Saginaw salt is dollar and
quarter a barI," she replied, as she
glanced at a row of barrels down the
platform. 81 guess the oxen kin git
hum with two barls. Make it two
and I'll call it squar'."
Everybody grinned except the young
man. He realized that he was done
for, and got out of the box by plank
ing down the $3.50 to the agent. The
cart was driven around to the spot,
the barrels loaded up, and then the
woman came oack to the young man:
''Pve settled this case, and the salt
is in the cart, and I jest want to re-
mark that if you happen this way agin
and you happen to feel so awfully cum
min that you can't hold yourself, you'd
better go slow on widders. Thar's 16
of US round here, an we all drive yell
Ter oxen hitched to carts, an we all
go b'arfoot in the summer and sigh to
get married agin. The reg'lar fgger is
three bar'ls of salt and pound of tea,
but, owing to your youth and that
thunderstorm comm up, I've let you
off easy. G0od-day, bub; good-day
all! Y. Herald