The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1898-04-30
NEVADA.

boating debt? Pa-Our yacht, my son.
Chicago News.
Bill-He's got a good square head on
his shoulders. Jill-Sort of hollow
square, isn't it?-Yonkers Statesman.
Eugllshman-I have no time to waste
Agbtjnr n duel. Trenchman-lt only
.equlres two seconds.-Chicago News.
Artlst-How much do you think that
n,cture ia worth? Visitor-I have no
idea of the cost of artists materials
Up-to-Date.
simmons you think poetry Is
declining? Timmins-It isn't declining
80 much as being 4'1ciinsiaz zlndianapo-
lis journal.
q. Seh.-asr sSs,iss -, an apology
for a man. Believer, wouldn't you
accept an apology II 1t were offered?-
Boston Traveller.
She-Yes, they say there's fool In
every family. Don't you think so! He
--Er-well, you see. I'm the only mem
Der of the famlly.--Pick-Me-Up.
Mistress Of the House-My good man.
did you ever take a bath? Tramp
No, mum: never took anything big
germ a silver teapot.-Tt-Bits
Too High.-Mrs. Poeticus-Don't you
think my new hat is poem? Poeticss
No. Mrs. Poeticus-Why not? Poeti-
cus-oh, I'm merely judging by its
price.-Truth.
Teacher-But can't you define "bi-
cycleT Suppose some one asked you
what bicycle Is. what would you say :?
Pupil-I'd say, Don't you know what a
bicycle lsY'-Puck.
"A man nowadays" said the young.
cynical boarder, who Is upright, Is a
peach Il should suggest" said the
Cheerful Idiot, ''that he was plumb. -
indianapolis Journal
Eaton makes me tired, Dragging of
his wife all the time, as he does. He
says that all he Is he owes to her,
"Do you call that Dragging about her,"
New York Journal.
Barker has little too much self
confidence" IN have to disagree.
Barker has too much sense to put any
confidence In anything he hears himself
ay."-Indianapolis Journal
. Browne-Did you ever see man
who really wanted the earth? Towne
oh. yes. Browne-Who was he's
Towne-A first-trip passenger on an
ocean llner-Brooklyn Life.
.N.,, hall ~. ,-;.h aud fao,ons said
the fortune-teller. Alas cried the
sitter; then | am undone. For my
dream was to devote my life TO art
Philadelphia North American.
"One great trouble VIII folks" said
Uncle Eben, SIS dat dey's li'ble ter mis-
take de smalles' speck on dab serenity
for de pint whah patience ceases ter
be a virtue. "-Washington Star.
Quite Likely. -Bown-What would
you do IL some one should leave you a
hundred thousand dollars? Jones
| suppose I'd begin to realize how little
, hundred thousand really is.-Truth.
Are you a believer in the theory
that to the victors belong the spoils?"
That" replied Senator Sorghum, de
ponds entirely on whether or not | am
one of the yictors. Washington Star.
She-How would you punctuate the
following: Bank of England notes Of
various values were blown along the
street by the wlnd?" He-I think I
would make a dash after the notes.
Tit-Bits.
Have you written to your niecei"
ITO Nary Yes" NO. l haven't.
Fact is. can't remember how she
spells her name lately. It's either
Marie, Marye or Marie. "-Cleveland
Plaindealer.
Young Parent-Come right in, old
man, and have a drink. I'm happy
father. Old Parent-No, my boy; I'm
much obliged; but I can't encourage
you In your delusions.-Ph Philadelphia
North American.
skinny Bill--Do you believe in
ghosts? Bloody Mike-Do L; met
one once Stood right in my path.
Gee! What did you do?" "Jis' KEEP
on goin' and went through him."-Ciu-
cinnati Enquirer.
Very wet and slippy under foot this
morning" Not particularly. Out
where live It's worse than this twelve
months in the year" where do you
live, if may ask? 2" in lighthouse"
Chicago Tribune.
Three different walters at hotel
asked prim, precise little professor at
dinner II he would have soup. a little
annoyed. lie said to the last waiter who
asked the question: lis 1t compulsory: 2"
mo, sir. said the waiter. 81 think it's
mock turtle"
Officer shouted an excited man to
Chicago policeman, those fellows In
that saloon just stood me on my head
and took away every cent hadw
Thin boys Mt Paisy's." was the off.
GERS comment, as he moved on, was
always great at jokes. '--Cincinnat II En-.
quirer.
Pllls-Dosem has been expelled from
the medical association for advertising
contrary TO the code. Squils--How did
he advertise? Pills-Called to lead the
prayer meeting the other evening, he
walked up to the front and gave out
the hymn, THE Great Physician Now
Is Here."-Crypt.
How do you know 1t Is all over be-
tween George and Claray 81 know II
Is II she's a girl of spirit. He took her
20 restaurant last evening for
luncheon, and after 1t was over he let
big colored waiter tuck her sleeves in
for her when she pat on her fur jack
et"-Chicngn Trdhnna