The herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1893-1900, 1898-08-21
THE JOYS OF MOVING
BY HOGABOOM

| Hay it down as a general proposition that
a man might about as well start for the
Klondike afoot, with a crash suit on and
pair of golf panJ IS in his vaAse for a.
change, as to attempt to move in the mid
die of the summer. And yet there is al
ways a possible chance for a man to escape
with his life in either case.
1 moved last week and had the expert
ence proved fatal to me might not now be
penning these few sad lines. In fact, were
I now lying cold and still in the icy clutch
of death l doubt if even the remembrance
of that fearful time could arouse me, but
having survived the ordeal, 1 deem 1t
duty owe to mankind to tell the story of
the struggle.
We do not have great deal of household
furnishings in our establishment, and it
is doubtless owing to this fact that owe
my life. Indeed l had entertain ed the no
ton, while we were planning for the move.
that | could load the stuff onto wheel
barrow and wheel it over to the new
house myself, doing away entirely with
the necessity of having van. Afterwards
I wondered how in the world we ever sue
ceeded in loading it all onto two vans.
However, we succeeded in doing that and
it was thus safely conveyed to the new
house and unloaded.
Those van drivers get to be wonderful ex
perts in the fine art of moving. How they
can ever figure the thing out so that when
you start in to SETTLE the very things You
want first will be underneath everything
else, at the very bottom of the heap, is
more than know 1t Is simply marvellous,
that's ALL And it doesn't seem to require
such great mental effort as one might
imagine, either. 1t simply shows what can
be done by man who studies his work and
gets it down to a. SCIENCE
You'd think it would take considerable
planning, for instance, to arrange the pile
so that the cook stove would be scattered
around in eight separate and distinct
plades, all equally inaccessible, but it
doesn't seem to, at all. OF course 1t is
easy enough to put the body Of the stove
bottom up underneath the dining room
table and then pile the sideboard on top of
the table and cap the heap with ton or
so of carpets, mattings and bedclothes.
Any ordinary man could do that But the
genius Of the professional shows to adj
vantage when it comes to the finishing
touches here. A sofa is leaned up against
the pile and some boxes of books or pic
lures placed on tor of that in such deli
cate and artistic way tha9you expect them
to topple off at any minute, when in fact
it requires two stout men to bulge them.
That's where the science Of 1t comes in.
But that doesn't do the business by any
means. The stove lids must be carefully
deposited in the smallest space possible be-
tween two of the largest and heaviest
trunks, and the very heaviest boxes must
be placed on top of the trunks, and wash
stand laid back downwards over the boxes.
This is where the fine work of the expert
begins to show. The stove legs are to be
separated, Of course. 1t would never do to
leave them together-they might get into
violent quarrel among themselves and kick
each other to death. One Of them is in the
bureau drawer among your clean shirts, an
other is wrapped up in wet towel and
rammed into the water pitcher, while an
other is in the ice chest, under the sofa
bed. You don't really need the fourth one,
baceuse you can easily prop up one corner
Of the stove with some blocks until its leg
turns up.
I desire, In passing, to say one thing about
stoves to correct a popular misapprehen-
sion. 1t is the simplest and easiest thing In
the world to put up a stoveppe, if one only
goes at it right. A great many people do
not understand stovepipes, and a good deal
of trouble results, and the work of the
churches goes for naught when it might do
good. Many more souls can be saved if the
following simple rules will be observed Re-
move all the women and children to good
safe distance; place the stove where you
think it ought to be; provide yourself with
common kitchen knife, a cold chisel,
crowbar hammer, an axe, screwdriver,
a maui, bucket of ice water and bottle of
arnica. See that you have plenty of stove-
pipe and that it all fits together nicely, and
then go and hire man to put it up give
you my word of honor that you will have
no difficulty.
There is one thing about moving that al