The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1898-05-06


He-Darling, wanted to take ron to
the theater tonight, but I felt that l
couldn't afford 1t. she--Never mind,
dear. We can 80 tomorrow night,
life. .= .z... IA. ........ Ia. Il;
Henpeck-I have troubles Of my own.
Mrs. Henpeck-But you are the partner
ef my woes. Henpeck-Yes, silent, ~
in everything else. Cincinnati Times
Star. d., NJ. -
1.-THE doctor would like to see you in
SIDE" said the maid to the caller In the
reception room. mot muchg' said the
startled patient; "he can't try any x
cay on me."-Yonkers Statesman.
Nodd-My wife told me II wanted
peace with her, would have to resign
from my club. TOdd-And you are
getting along all right now? Mold
Oh, yes. I'm living at the club.-Ex.
8" hear that the crowd assailed you
when you appeared at the Plunkville
Opera House." "False, me boy, false"
replied the. eminent tragedian, Mr..
Barnes former; "all false. There was
40 crowd."-Indianapolis Journal. -.
ibid you hear Of the accident which
befell your brotherY' Accident? No!
Not serious, I HOPPER "Well, rather.
An idea struck him, and now the entire
upper part Of his head Is paralyzed."
New York Herald.
Mr.. Isaacs-I sells you dot coat at a
grad sacrifice. Customer-But you say
that of all your goods. How do you
make living? Mr.. Isaacs-Mein. frient,
makes small profit on de paper and
string.-New York Weekly.
"What intensely red hair that young
man hasv' exclaimed Maud; I'm sur
prised that you seem to like him SO
WE'LL" "Oh," replied Mamie. Il don't
like him very we'll. I never invite him
to anything put pink teas."-Washing-
ton Star.
The quest for truth: Mr.. Monterey
It used to be said that ''Truth lies at the
bottom of a WE'LL" Mr.. Esplanade-I
know. Mr.. Monterey-Now 1t lies at
the bottom Of Havana harbor, and div
ers are trying to bring it up.-Pittsburg
Chronicle-Telegraph.
Gargoyle (back in town after years
absence)-When I went away, Jones
and Brown were rival suitors for Miss
Tw1tter's hand. Which proved to be
the lucky man? Glanders-Can't tell
that yet. She married Brown only
month ago. Ask me again in about g
year.-Life.
Fllck-Call him musician! Why, he
doesn't know the difference between a
nocturne and a symphony. Flack-
You don't mean it2 And they hurry to
get away from one another. Each Is
terribly afraid that the other will ask:
by the way, what is the difference?"-
Boston Transcript.
"No, ma'am said Meandering Mike
'1'm sorry, but it's ag'in my principles
I can't split no wood" 'Well," she an
swered, there. will be load Of coal
here this afternoon, and" ''rm sor
~ ag'in; but can't carry no coal. But
I'll tell you what will DOLL compro
mise. Eff you've got a gas-stove, III
turn on the gas" Star.
Here, you've been telling me all
along" said the brght-faced young
wife, what a wonderful cook your
mother was; and now your Aunt Jane
has just told me that your father was
q chronic dyspeptic." "Well, you see,"
the young husband murmured, with q
deep sigh, mother learned by practic.
ing on father."-Cleveland Plain Deal.
er. =:
THAT young man of yours" said the
observing parent, as his daughter came
down to breakfast, SHOULD apply TO-,
a job in dime museum" "Why, faith.
en-" exclaimed the young lady, in tones
Of Indignation, what do you mean ?"
II noticed, when passed through the
hall late last night" answered the old
man, that he had two heads upon his
shoulders. Chicago News.
Foster-So her father refused to con.
sent to your marriage with his daugh.
ter? Biglin-No, that's just the deuce
of it. He gave me no answer when ]
told him what I had called for, and told
me If I didn't leave In less than two
seconds, he'd kick me out. What's to be
done with a fellow who will wander
off in that way from the subject of dis.
cussion ?-Boston Transcript.
Mrs. Greene-My husband is such 8
thoughtful man! He always goes
down into the basement kitchen te
smoke. Mrs. Gray-And let's the smoke
come upstairs into the dining-room
through the dumb waiter. Mrs. Greene
Yes, but that's because he Is absent.
minded, poor man. That has nothing
to do with his thoughtfulness, YOU
know.-Boston Transcript.
Attorney-You say you had called to
see Miss Billings and was at the house
at the time the burglary was commit.
ted? Witness-Yes, sir. Attorney
Then how did it happen that when the
DClSOu6E udSucu- 1AIO IAC AOOW dAu Us
saulted you, you leaped through the
window and went home, making no at
tempt to defend the lady or give the
alarm? Witness-I thought it was hel
father.-Life. .
"My friend" said the kindly old gen.
tleman who likes to make acquaint
ances while travelling, you should fol-
low my example. I strive to learn
something new every day." "No." was