Mesa free press., 1898-03-04
5jIElzE2Ae -


eyed, L don't see how you can shoot
straight. Cross-eyed sportsman fire
both barrels at once.-Boston Traveller.
I'm London" said the returned tour
ist, boastfully, II appeared at court." "
How much was the fne?" queried
his cynical friend. Philadelphia North
American.
Latest from the intelligence office:
"Oh, Bridget! I told you to notice when
the apples boiled over" "Sure I did,
mum. 1t. was quarter past eleven
Brooklyn Life.
why has Splasher named his picture
British Deer?" HE was afraid some
one would say that American deer
don't have legs Like those of his deer"
Chicago Record.
Inquisitive tourist Gin Oklahoma
Pardon me, sir, but are you a married
man? Baldy Scrodd (the stage driver)
Nope; had my hair secured off in a
sandstorm.-Puck.
! Next time I'm going out to Beverly's
I'm going to take a camp stool with
me.' What for?' Last time l went
l sat down on little thing that turned
out to be a tea-ta ble."-Puck.
What did you think of the great
horse. show, Miss Gotham?" II think
that the presence of the horses detract-
ed very materially from the chief at
fractions of the entertainment"
1T seems strange that he couldsplun-
der great corporation like that for
years without being found out" "Well,
you see, the corporation was pretty
busy itself. Chicago Journal.
John Doe-I wonder what caused
Gobang to collapse? / am told he is
suffering from nervous prostration.
Richard Roe-Yes. He sat down in a
game of poker with a man'who stutter-
ed.-Puck.
Golf" remarked the young man who
is wearisomely blase. ''is. one Of the
very few games that doNnot fatigue
me-" what is the reason for that r.
II never learned to play Wash
ington Star.
Bostonian-Is this friend that you
wish to bring to dinner much of ra-
contour? Chicago man-Blamed if
know; but say, you'll die laughin' If
we can get him to tellin' stories.-Cleve-
land Leader.
II am afraid that actors sometimes
deceive us about the salaries they get,"
remarked the mild-mannered citizen.
NO. replied the keen observer; ''they
may think they do, but they DON'T
Washington Star.
won't you play something, Null
lins? asked Kilduff, motioning toward
the piano. II hardly like to while Col
Gore is here" 'Is he severe in his
criticisms ~ eyes; and he carries pis-
toll. Harlem Life.
! Brother Sontext-Well, Brother Stir
emup, will they raise your salary an
other year? Brother Stiremup-Wen,I
don't know about another year; they
haven't finished raising it for this year
| yet.-Richmond Times.
"Has your Shakespeare society started
In yet, Miss Jones?" Yes. We met at
Mrs. Wiggles' yesterday. Miss Matilda
Robinson read most delightful paper
on the the Influence Of Rosalind on
Dress Reform Bazaar.
Bass-I suppose you think I'm fool?
Cass- s-That's what troubles me. II
your supposition is correct, then you
are mind reader, and therefore you
can not be fool; and yet-well, you
understand. d.-Boston Transcript,
"She is very business-like woman"
remarked one young man. "Yes," re-
piled the other; 'but admire cling
ing nature" "Then you ought to see
her some time when she is trying to
hold on to dollar" r."-Washington Star
Mrs. Hashleigh-My husband used to
say that / made the best coffee in the
world. The dyspeptic boarder-Oh! 1
wouldn't dream Of questioning that
madam; but there's a vast difference
between making and creating coffee
! Puck.
"You will be sorry for the way you
have neglected me when am silent in
the tomb," said Mrs. Peck; think of
that" "My DEAR" said Mr.. Peck, as
innocently as he could, Il can not imag-
inc such a thing. g."-Indianapol Jour
nal.
did you tell that young man not to
call here any moreT'' asked Mabeps
father, severely. "N-no." why notY
ST didn't think that 1t was necessary.
1 don't see how he could call any more
now. He calls seven times week. y
Washington Star.
.T am told" remarked Miss Cayenne,
"that you said some very clever things
last evening" "Yes," replied Willie
Washington; ut is very discourag ging."
'What is?' 'The surprised manner in
which everybody is talking about iG'-
Washington Star.
"How can I get an article in your
paper?" asked correspondent Of q
Western journal. 1T all depends ON the
article you want to get into our paper"