The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1898-06-29
put off until Uncle Sam can give Spain
the proper dressing down?
A serio-Comic Bur.escue.


Two of the Republican editors and
one deputy Republican editor of the
Twin Cities are affording US Democrats
a large quantity of amusement in these
days, devoted to vacations, fishing and
other holiday amusements. A Span
ish fiesta, with its accompaniment of
gambling. bull fights and religious
ceremonies, IS not in it with the horse
play of our fellow workers. We do
not know if they ever meet, but should
they and not tip each other the wink
as they passed or thrust tongues into
cheeks, it would Indicate that they did
not appreciate their own performances.
Just listen to their virtuous denun-
Citations of the machine What holy
horror of it they affect. No one would
imagine for an instant that each Of
them has been hail fellow we'll met for
years with this same machine: but it
is a fact, the only difference now be-
Ing that they are not on good terms
with the fellow who is temporarily run
ming it. They used to vow, with hand
on heart and eyes simultaneously
rolled heavenwar0s, that there was 40
machine in their party. Other states
might have one, but the political air
of Minnesota was too dry to sustain
one. And now they declare one exists,
as vigorous, malign, Internal as ever
cursed a party in any state.
That is really very funny, and they
assume their parts and carry out the
character with an accuracy, a verisi-
Multitude of honest sincerity, that would
! 1tafj ba cto
Ciough, of course, is the machine. Van
SAINT is the engiieer-to- Eustis is
the valiant smasher. the Thor whose
! sledge hammer is to smite and destroy
it. Collins was merely nice little fell
low. sociable. urbane, a fair judge and
! justice, but until now he was not in
1t at ALL Suddenly after the primaries
are held, it is found that Van SAINT
cannot get to the throttle, and neither
| can EuStis, because Collins holds the
balance of power. The situation de-
mands the elimination of Collins. The
machine ogre has been hard worked
! and needs reinforcements. So the Jour
nal and the Dispatch simultaneously,
by strange coincidence, discover that
the same old machine is back of Col
ilns The Journal plumply charges
and the Dispatch darkly hints that
there stands now with the machine
that terrible ogre that the Pops have
made do such effective service in the
back counties, the Great Northern. The
fellows who were not terrified into the
Eustis column by the machine fright
are now to be scared over by shaking
both the machine and the Great North
| ern at them. Of course the DISPATCH
| Is grieved at it's discovery; it has 20
| be, and so is. 1t is so agitated that it
splits its Intfnitives and avows that it
is compelled to regretfully admit
something or other. The spectacle of
either the Journal or the Dispatch be-
ing Mortified at either the machine or
the Great Northern or both combined
is the most comical play made in Re-
publican politics in many a year.
And here comes that mongrel. the
Times, and it, too, has the horrors. 1t.
too, scents the machine. 1t shivers at
the apparition of the machine and the
Great Northern. 1t pleads with tear
full eyes with Collins to get out of the
way and not let the greasy fingers of
the machines engineer soil his judicial
robes nor the coweatcher of the Great
Northern toss him into the ditch 1t is
so solicitous for Collins. "Can he
stoop," it asks, from the supreme
bench to become the creature of a. po-
litical cabal of which the Great North
ern railroad is the chief DICTATOR" AS
emotion swells it chokes utterance, and
its last words end in this cabalistic
line:
''Kv (dwfv-YE. ETAOIN SHRDLU."
If that does not scare Collins, nothing
will. and if it does not drive Vans
reconcentrados pel-mell to Eustis,
nothing will avail and the blarsted old
party may go to the demnition bow
vows.