davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1898-02-01
Simple Subtra ction.

An Irishman was hauling water In
barrels from a small river to supply the
inhabitants of the. village, which was
not provided with waterworks. AS he
halted at the top of the bank to give a
blow" before proceeding to peddle the
water, a gentleman of the inquisltive
type rode up, and after passing the
time of the day, asked: go.
How long have you been hauling
water for the village, my good
mani"
Tin years or more, sor." was the re-
ply.
"Ah! and how many loads do you
make day."
From tin to fifteen, accordin' to the
weather, sor."
"Yes. Now, have one for you, Pat"
said the gentleman, laughing. How
much water have you hauled altogeth-
err"
The Irishman jerked his thumb in
the direction OF the river, at the same
time giving his team the hint to start,
and replied:
"All the water that yez don't see
there now, sor."
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1898-02-01
Polly Gave the Fire Alarm.

An up-to-date parrot, the pet Of the
family of Friedrich Mahla of Lenni,
Penn, doubtless saved the lives Of the
entire household from perishing In the
burning of their home. Mr.. Mahla was
awakened about o'clock a. m. by un-
earthly screeches from the parrot in
the dining-room below. On coming
downstairs he found the entire lower
part of the house, which was of frame,
on fire, and the family had barely time
to escape.
In the hasty exit Of the family the
parrot was not forgotten, and was ta-
ken out, half choked to death with
smoke. 1t was about the only thing
saved from the fire, as the house and
nearly all the furniture and the store
and stock of goods adjoining were con-
sumed
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1898-02-01
Tho Profesaor's Wife as a Critic.

A college professor, who prided him
self on his correct English, heard his
wife remark: II intended to tell Jane
to bring fresh bucket of water"
You doubtless mean a bucket o.
fresh water" corrected the professor
~ wish you would pay some attention
to your rhetoric. Your mistakes are
curious" A few moments later the
professor said:
my dear, that picture would show tc
better advantage II you were to hang II
over the olock,"
"Ah," she replied, quietly, "you
doubtless mean II were to hang II
above the clock. II were to hang II
over tho clock we could not tell the
time. wish you would be more care
ful with your rhetoric, my dear, your
mistakes are curious"
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1898-02-01
ApveRrleEo FOR BURGLARS
tie Wanted Them TO Call and steal His
Valuable Heirlooms.


lie Wanted Them TO Call and steal His
Valuable Heirlooms.
A man rushed into the business office
of one of the Chicago daily papers and
stopped at the advertising window.
There he secured pad OF paper and
pencil with string to 1t. He wrote
and erased, and then tore UP what he
had written, chewing the fragments
savagely while he made another copy.
"There," he said, at last as he thrust
the paper into the hand of the adver-
tisiHg clerk, count the words and tell
me what they will cost for one inser-
toni reckon that will fetch them"
This was the advertisement:
Burglars are requested to call some
night this week on Mr.. and Mrs. Eras-
tus Brown, 200 Ash court. A door and
window will be left open, and every
facility offered for removing the
spoils."
But this Is a very unusual form OF
advertisement" said the clerk, with q
troubled look. 81 don't know whether
to put 1t under the head Of personal
or educational. What is your motive,
may l ask?"
my motive" said the advertises,
as to get rid Of an awful incubus Of
inherited truck without any responslb-
ility fastened upon me. | might burn
the house down, but in that case l
would be expected to save the heir
looms or perish with them. Say,
young man, were you ever the victim
of a legacy?'
NO" said the clerk, with friendly
grin. what a funny question"
mo old maid aunt ever died and left
you a dozen battered silver teaspoons
that had came down from Oliver Crom-
well?"
"Never!"
Lucky chap Never had a solid sill
yer punch bowl bequeathed to you by
a bibulous old uncle who was a dis
grace to the family while he lived, but
promised to return and haunt you II
you didn't entertain his comrades once
year out of that bowl?"
81 should say not"
"Nor a great-grandmother who left
you a silver soup ladle with coat Of
arms of some unknown dead and gone
ancestor, which must be placed under
your pillow every night for safe keep
ing?"
mo" said the clerk. II belong to
plain, everyday people, and we haven't
coat of arms to our backs"
'Be thankful, young man; you little
realize what blessed lot is yours. To
crown our misfortunes, another rela-
tive died in Paris last week and left us
her diamonds. But l draw the line at
diamonds, and so does my wife. We
take turns now sitting UP with the sill
yer. After the burglars come and clean
us out we shall begin to live Put that
advertisement in a good place, and I'll
let you know if we hear from 1t.
Slong."
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1898-02-01

He sits where the throng may behold
him,
And pensively gazes on high,
And they say, as gloom seems to en-.
fold him,
inspiration is certainly nigh"
Then swiftly paper he seizes
And traces it over with ink,
And they echo, like whispering breezes,
Now watch him; he's going to
think"
And the shades Of the great seem to
hover
As he struggles to drain wisdom's
fount;
And tiieyl probably never discover
He's at work on, his mileage ac-
count. A.,
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1898-02-01
NOT JOSHUA TAYLOR,
BY N. QUAD.


There were 30 passengers In the car
when man wearing fur cap and
having rather an innocent expression
Of countenance boarded the train at a
small station and appeared among us.
There were plenty of empty seats, but
he did not sit down. Instead, he walk
cd down the aisle and took close look
in every mans face. That he was
looking for some one in particular was
evident, but he passed each one to the
very last man. who was asleep with
his chin on his breast.
Here, you-wake up!" said the man
with tho fur cap, as he shook the other
by the shoulder.
"W-what you want?" stammered
the man, as he Strengthened up.
"Is your name Joshua Taylor"
mo, sir! How dare you come along
and put your paws on me, and ask me
IL my name Is Joshua Taylor?'
"If you amt Joshua Taylor you look
like him. rayther think you are the
mani"
Look here, sir! exclaimed the
aroused passenger as he began to get
red In the face-"who are you, and
what do you want with me?"
my names Benjamin Scott. A fell
ler named Joshua Taylor cum along
here few months ago with patent
hay fork and"
"Sir! do I look like man who
travels around with patent gimcrack
to skin farmers!" interrupted the pas
senger.
"Mebbe you don't. but there's no use
gittin mad about 1t. / jest asked IL
you was Joshua Taylor"
"And said I wasn't. Who in Texas
Is Joshua Taylor, and how dare you
lay hands on me?"
HE had patent hay fork and he
pretended to fall in love with my
daughter Sary. He axed her right
| plump out to mary him, and then skip
ped off in the night. That poor GAL"
"You confounded idiot" roared the
| passenger, but I've a mind to make
your heels break your neck! Do look
| like q villain? Do look like fakir?
Do look like Joshua Taylor? Why,
sir, II had you on the ground I'd
knock your head off your shoulders"
Then you are not the MANI" calmly
inquired Mr.. Scott.
"Of course I'm not!"
wall, don't bust lung. II your
name amt Joshua Taylor then you
didn't travel with patent hay fork
and fall In love with my daughter
sary. II you was him"
Then what would you do, sir? What
would you do?" yelled the passenger,
as he shook his fist under the others
nose.
wall, nobody kin skeer me by hol-
lerin'!" said Mr.. Scott. as he backed
Off and turned pale. You kin whoop
and yell and make all the threats you
want to, but If I'd found out that you
was Joshua Taylor, I'll be hanged if
wouldn't-yes, sir. I'll be hanged if
wouldn't hev Jest told you right to
| your face that you outer be ashamed O
youself, and TINT I'd rather see Sary
married to barbed wire fence man,
even II you had million dollars!"
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1898-02-01
His Suspicious Action.

Nov, Mr.. Beefy," coldly said the
handsome young widow, who was do
ing her own marketing, while l am
fully conscious of the honor you wish
10 confer upon me, must tell you that
l have no present intention of marry
ing again, and am, therefore, compell-
ed to refuse the hand you offer"
"Bub- -bub-but. Mum-Mrs. Hooks" d."
stammered the astonished butcher, 81
have never offered you my hand, and
-ah-"
Then, why are you trying to weigh
It on the scales with the roast, sir?"
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1898-02-01
What the Minister Said.

Helen Hunt, Chicago girl, found a
purse in church, and notified the pastor
that she had it, so If anyone reported
the loss 1t could be returned. The next
Sunday the clergyman made the fol-
lowing announcement from the pulpit:
Someone lost purse here last Sun
day evening. and If the owner wants
the property he can 90 to Helen Hunt
for II. !"
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1898-02-01
The Husbands Way,

She lat the desk)-Dear, please tell
me how to spell costume. I'm writing
to mother about my lovely new gown"
He-Well are you ready?
She--Yes.
He-C-o-s-t, cost ''''
She-Yes.
He-T-u-+to--
She-Well?
He-M-e, me-$65, as yet unpaid.
She--You're a wretch.
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1898-02-01

II don't see why it should be deemed
a disgrace" the youthful bachelor re-
marked In the course of the conversa-
ton, "for a woman to ask man to
marry her."
1T isn't disgrace" replied the ell
derly maiden. "Idiocy is misfor-
tune"
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1898-02-01
One Advantage.

Some Satisfaction-Mrs. Bridewell-
I'm glad wasn't born in France. Just
think Of having your husband selected
for you by somebody else?" Mrs. Old
ham-"I know; but there's the con-
ISOLATION of having somebody to blame
II on to."-Judge.
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1898-02-01

Miss Quickstep-What part of town
are we driving through, Mr.. Fibble?
Fweddy-I haven't the least idea.
Miss Quickstep-I was aware of that
Still, I thought 1t possible you might
know what part OF town we are driving
through,
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1898-02-01

He--Did you tell 'yonr father that
would kill myself If / couldn't have
you?
She-Yes.
He-What did he say?
She-He said that settled it. You
couldn't have me.
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1898-02-01
The BOY Knew.

What is the worst thing about
richest" asked schoolteacher of a
boy, Their scarcity" he replied, and
was Immediately rewarded with a
prize.
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1898-02-01
The PLANT of a stubborn Juror.

An English juror once asked the
judge, after the verdict was returned,
whether the fact that he differed from
his eleven brethren justified their
knocking him down with chair!
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1898-02-01
A Long Walt For Nothing.

A visitor to the Worlds Fair in 1893,
who was kicked by horse and who
sued the exposition company for $780,
900, has just found out that he had no
case.
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1898-02-01
A Novel Object Lesson.

The authorities of the Kansas Uni
versity dismissed all the natural his
tory classes on circus day recently to
enable the students to study the ami
mails.
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1898-02-01
Patience Rewarded.

His first loves age was just twenty
five,
When at twenty In marriage he
sought her;
He failed; but again at forty did strive,
And this time he married her daugh-
ter
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1898-02-01

That New York burglar who entered
New York house disguised as
plumber showed q nice sense of the
Rtnsss for thinSa.
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1898-02-01

The Detroit man who is sued for
$299 for breach of promise evidently
proposed on bargain day.
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1898-02-01
Left by the wayside.

"Is Miss Passay single from choice?"
Yes; all the men she knows have
chosen other girls"
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1898-02-01
Pas Point of View.

Posey is the name of st. Louis
florist.
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1898-02-01

A German scientist is of opinion that
women will have boards some time in
the remote future.
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1898-02-01

A Topeka clergyman says he makes
more by performing marriage cereA
monies than he does by preaching.
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1898-02-01

In Mexico City Hop Lee advertises
an American restaurant.
The sun., 1898-11-18

Ritne prices characterized the early cotton trsanR
under the etimnlus Of an active and higher Liver,
as local and Southern buying Later there was some
rsaS,ion due 70 Liverpool ssliIng and also e some
derstood to have sold q late, Interior recsipts,
Sy Sns ssp S' up nS SsP q
oorrespondine period Of last year. though We ar arc
ceipts proved 70 bo even lighter than hsd been
snS SaI .m n sany
son With 81, t1s on wednesday, 7s, 2ts on Tuesday
dicton pointed to showers or thrcstened rain All
this together with renewed local and Southern buy:
the low price, caused an upward turn before the
GS Business PRINT Cloths and shosnas
at hrm prices; Houston. Nov 16.-" To-day Weather
SS'os acy WIN .s ef srsn o.rPs E
pected receipts here 70 fall of." Galveston, Nov.
indian Terrtopgg viii MAKE . s.oocooo % bush We We
doubt q II will be over s.5oo,ooo. In southwest
having cut the crop aSI AasSs rs as Nov H.
We have quite given up hope Of seeing some
to.s q solton open IN neds Vim Se heavy 4 was
ftSss S sa; 'is cent
reports from the country are much poorer than We
ssEs'SsS FSuas sSs GGS';S to Some hRssi:
fact cea weight IN hS sn%s
direction is the great number of pockets CbaIes
WEIGHING under 800 Tsl that are appearing: We
Meek e all We ever get, sometimes not 40 many at
this time of tho year." further prpmiim hore in
quality does not improve soon. Mr.. Thoman's re.
ndsto geshsr during tso pas assl
hss been for and IL ,S The
have precludod the possibility Of average late
crop. and from various sections, especially west
very ificuii q picking; that labor % IL p0 scarce
and that unless the season be consderably pro-
this Ss arc S
M In OrnA vii hA al hat
due to the unusually favorable weather last year not
and
through tho late winter. which circumstance |
Prom all present indications such. possibility |
Ss RSs h.say os that An s1e ts
presagng early winter. IL 10 too early give
anal estimate. the weather during the succeed.
likely to continue full for some time 70 come al.
n6s
the beginning Of the crop year. There have
ten pyears when, the, proportion of the crop
moved m Sdv from Sept; I % to the approximate date
of deSciency, this falls record of % over .,oooSoo
bales. 1t is significant fact that in three Of tho
sonr years referred to the average production Vas
cred more or less reliable. It Is thus shown
year proves nothing rule unless II be the fsl-
Diiiy OF relying on such means as indicating tho
CoTTEE-Ro on the spot was steady; No. 7, elSc
sales of 1000 bags MRracRibo. Futures points
wS fOs a0 sS IN e a but
!; ;25o bags Hayre declined ". and Hamburg u to
4 pfg American warehouse deliveries 2I, ,2o1 bags
100. Santos quiet 81 100 deoiins; receipts
or two days. $1,000; stock. $4,000. The future
rading here was followst
The sun., 1898-11-18


sales Of BUSH insudne !oooo 1f for e9poT
tass anS
3oe34I4c: track miIed, 2s1408lc Bueiwheat was
e Bufo was Barsy aSis
but T nsy sha feed 0stG S Bgo Corn
100 900 here No. 2 in elevator DECEMBER price, No.
over peecmbef fyST Futures sdVsnced c % st
reacted and closed unchanged. with sales Of 900
'n p Opening. Rieisst Loee,,. Crostno. MSlt iaG
Rsyl:F:ss RsStmeeF ss sss sss ssx ss ssx 49, ss ssx
and nothing lonG Higher prices groysiled a tRs the
n paa aS Sns to % ts anFs ad
lsSS E foreign buying: and the covering of shorts
HaS ssSS # A6HsSa f1 sss
tract stock at Chicago is very small the December
sseonn st under nm New Wy YORK shrsaE to ?S
the world over are small and reserves. tits believed,
year through The normal incTsSSs q Populaon 6e
was was good inquiry there for The hsEa grades. and
the etransaction q considerable business St. Louis
snS sa ss Ghssh @
were unchanged. Moreover. the strength at ono
Ss sSs elpo
business IS was disSppontng and this one fact &C.
Of traction. The average operator docs not atop 70
think that forty loads for export used 10 be called
mai activity and expects It Besides the NorthWeStsrn %
receipts continued large; the Chicago DAILY Trade u.
more than last year which, at the rate Of AZ bush.
to the acre would make crop q 4i6 900 600. Rop.
the week before some EnGiis6 houses we're said to
be reselling little. Berlin fell y and Amsterdam
wanaee wheat TO Chicago; Primary arrivals were
aSe Ens sfs ysssr Ne Liver
The cash business fell on at Chicago and finally the
fS fSonsh 10 Play e An %a
no impression. The net result was . trIaIng
asa $s4te Tas esnsd.P ths arm
SsfSsd nee s45 on sshsr ~, ,caSss so ysaRsr
Which S i eenSaers $ asededs 'SIt S%it
ss eo1enS of aSors and Snas the sSaasn and
someyhst ~ Ene5Pestsd armnesS Of oats 70 say moth
inquiry for htsr PIECES S1 rssdsa
ma Ssssst, Tss and PIT
s,, SSpFs sSa MsS Chi
FLoSRsncontinusd quiet and st steady with sales Of
Tsrs and ass
IN bbls.: superhne, s2 so9s2, ,eo No EXTRA. $3.50
spar II Sss SssI.;
gas lo straghts. 90. 80; patents 90 76SSS.Vo
quiet snd slasr aGsr at for spot Rye was
,CS4TToS-spot eotton here was unshAnsed NO sales
sn SRaad sssn: ssa.ssga SsS
spot markets were unchanged. New Orleans sold
800 bales Mob 10 .oOO Memphis 800, Galveston
626, St. Louis s76, and Savannah se1. Liyerpooi
was the spot with sales Of 900 bales;
week
last aons e 1a
bales against j,ess last week and 1852 last year;
last year Memphis shipped 0.3+6 bales and Houston
" 9h2. Houston expects tomorrow 22ooo 10 22,.
BOO, against 16 $50 last week and ~ 500 last year
New Orleans expects 1900 TO 10000 against 10,.
last week and 300 last year Port receipts So.
far this week 85S t6D against 1856 1885 thus far
last week Port exports were Fl oD2 bales. New Or
leans advanced points. Futures re advanced 70
points. lost this and declined TO 2. then rallied
loWs
The sun., 1898-11-18

Investment buying. moderate receipts and moderate
offerings sustained late coffee prices, though there
was some early weakness due to easier cables.
NAVAL SToRKs-Spirits turpentine hrm at 370871fc,
Common to good strained rosin. 81 .45ssI.5o.
PRovIsloSs-Lard was quiet; prime Western,
$500; city S<.S5; Continental refined S5.45 Pork
was quiet at ss.5o9e8 for mess. Meats were quiet;
picked hams, nc; do: shoulders. 40: do. bellies.
6H96Ac. Tallow. Q 9-16o. Dressed hogs, 4A@5ISc.
Butter-Creamery, Western extras. 28Ixo do hrsts,
2o922kc.; State. finest, 22922kc. Cheese-State.
full cream, large. colored white. fancy, gAc do
choice. sAS9c.; do: small. fancy. ek9SNc. Eggs
State and Pennsylvania, average best, 24025c.;
Nov. H." Provisions were somewhat frmer early
in the day owing to the rse in grain but toward the
Su0AR-Raw was Arm ut 7-16c. for e6o test and
8 1h-1dc for 500 test. Refined was quiet and Arm.
CHICAGO. Nov. 17.-These were to-day's prices:
The sun., 1898-11-18
EAR NJ lNCS.


u he Audit Comps
ENDING AUGUST
Year
Earnings
Including and
R
Operating Expenses insurance
EARNINGS r. r. "a. per books
4ss4as4
Estated Net Earnings Of
E.
Gog independently
addition
being conseavey valued
examined
Bdde d Ward.
OIL
and has passed and
Building York
The Bonds mabe of
Application
4
Having sold
balance Subscription
November rejec
or cut down subscriptions
HENRY MARQUAND & CO.,
16O broadway, New York.
EnW IRn CWFENN q, M
The sun., 1898-11-18
Live Stock Market.

NEW YORK. Thursday. Nov. l7.-Receipts of beeves
were 7D1 head, all consigned to exporters and
slaughterers. No trading. but the feeling was
6H9sHc. y N. for native sides. Today's cables re.
ported American live cattle firm at 1oN0114c. a
eS9kc y NJ Exports to-day, So beeves and 80 sheep;
Receipts Of calves were $50 head, and, counting
the stale stock, the total offerings 375 head
yeals were about steady; grasHers dull demand
they we're all held over, as also about 80 grass
ers Ordinary to choice veals sold at Sd@ss.5o v
100 DB.; Rrassers at S8.6o0$9.75. City dressed
vealB lower at o012c. q n.
Receipts of sheep and lambs were Z. 900 head. In.
cludng direct and. with the stale stock there
EeEe 80 cars on sale Sheep were in limited demand
stock were held Fair to good sheep sold at -
9S4,25 y 100 bs.; medium TO choice lambs at $50
7hGphc.
Receipts of hogs were 2B41 head. including ono
and half cars for sale. The market wac slow but
not lower and fair to primo hogs were quoted at
S8.650S8. 80 q 100 ms.
The sun., 1898-11-18
The sales Of mining stocks at the New York
Consolidated Stock and Petroleum Exchange
COMMERCIAL COMPEND.

THURSDAY. Nov. 17.-GRAIN - wheat-Spot
was quiet but steady. Sales Of $4,000 BUSH
for export. here and at the outports. including
272.00Q here. No. 2. red in elevator. 74Kc
No. l Northern Duluth. 1Sc. over December.
I; o. b. early in November: No. Northern New
rive. Northwestern receipts were 1.410 cars,
against OPS last week and 918 last year. Chi
cago received 261 cars. against 524 last week
and 1873 last year: estimate for to- morrow 925
cars. Futures advanced &c. to &c, but reacted
and closed Ac to &c. lower. with sales Of 1885,
600 bush. Prices as follows
The sun., 1898-11-18

New York Stock Exchange-salos Nov. II.
UNTTEp STATES AND STATE BONDS TIN 81. .0o0sl.
The sun., 1898-11-18

AvhihDlo CnSn balance,
includnggold dresorves29o. .oS6.e12 s2eo. .o1e.o5<
Money in London 2HH cent. Rate Of discount
IN open market for short and three months
bills. 3hf93h y cent Amount OF bullion
gone into the Bank Of England on balance to-
day. Ell 900 The Bank Of England minimum
rate Of discount unchanged nt cent. The
2 cent. against So 80 last week and A. % tho
the bank shows the following changes from the
fs78 8o66 circulation decreased s26o. 200. SH bni
lion increased s4lS.e79; other securities IN
creased 100000. public deposits decreased
4146OOO. notes reserve increased f717000.
Government securities decreased 100000
Paris adyices quote dents at 10l francs
72h confines. Exchange on London % francs
34H centimes. The weekly statement OF the
Bank OF France shows the following changes
Notes in circulation increased 12.9OO.000
francs, Treasury accounts decreased 9.125,000
francs. gold on hand decreased 100000
francs. bills discounted increased, 12.325,QQQ
francs.
The Homestake Mining Company has de-
clared its regular monthly dividend OF 25 cents
amount. both payable Nov. rs at the Office OF
$50 paid In dividends TO date.
Applications for the Elgin. Joliet and East
ern Railway Cornpanys first mortgage 5 y
have been largely in excess Of the amount
offered.
The sales Of mining stocks at the New York