The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1898-08-02

Mr.. DoOley Has Trouble Catherine
the story From Country Papers.


Chicago Tribune.
II hear" said Mr.. HenncSsy. that IN
stereopsicons On II newspapers have
sthruck.''
Il sh'ld think they wud" said Mr. Doc
ley. ''Th last time / was down town was
iliction night. whin Charter Haitch's big
la-ad was ilicted an they was wurrukin'
tn stereopticons gill they was black in tn
face What's IN. news
TIL What Cheer. Ioway. Lamp ~ Free
dom is on tn sthreets with tiiiygraa
that Shafter has captured Sandago de
Cuba an Is now setsin' on G!n'rai Pando s
chest with his hands in his hair. But this
Is denied by tn Paio Gazoot. tn Maeoup.n
County Raygisther an tn Meridyan
Sthreet Afro-Amer'can. I also see be tn
Daily Seoor Card. tn Wine List. N Deef
Mute's Spokesman, tn Morgue Life, tn
n.s av Fare. tn Stock Yards Straight
Steer. an Jacks Tips on IN Races. tn
on'y daily paper printed in Chicago, that
Simpsons feet is in tn SueZ canal bonn
harding Cades. TIL Northwestern Christ
yam Advocate says this is not thrue, but
that George Dixon was outpointed be an
English boxer in twinly-round so n
York.
we've got things mixed ur." said Mr..
Dcoley. II set tn news straight. Twas
this way. tn Spanish fleet was bottled
UP in Sandago harhor an they dhrew tn
cork That's a joke. / see ii in tn pa
apers. Tn gallan: boys " tn navy was
se;tin' out on tn deck defindin' their eoun-
thry an drawing three ca-ards apiece
whin the Spanish admiral concluded 'twud
be better f'r him to be destroyed on tn
ragin' sea- him bein' sailor, thin 70 have
his feet captured be cavity. Anyhow hs
was willin to take a chance. an he says
to his sailors: 'Spanyards,' he says, Cas-
tiles he says. we have eft tn las bed
tick he says. AN If we stay here much
longer he says. TN have TO have a steak
off tn armor plate fried f'r ye,' he says.
Lave US go out where We can have
run f'r our money he says. An away
they whit. III say this much f'r him. he's
. brave man. a dam brave man. don't
like a Spanyard ne more than We do, Hin
messy. / niver see wan But IL this here
man was a-was a Boohgaryan, I'd say
he was a brave man. If was aboord
wan " thin yachts that was convarted,
I'd go to this here Cervera an I'd say:
Manuel. I'd say. 'ye'er all right. me boy.
fe ought to go to a doctor an have ye'er
eyes reset. but ye'er a good fellow. Go
downstairs I'd say. into tn basement "
the ship I'd say. AN open tn cupboard
JUS mex to III head iv tn bed an find
the bottle marked ''Florldy water an
threat yeerseif kindly tn IT'S what ia
say to Cervera. He's all right
Well, whin our boys see tn Spanish fleet
comm out iS tn harbor they gathered on
tn deck an sang tn naytional anthem.
They'll be hot time in tn old town 20
night. lift-nant come up to where ADA
miral Sampson was settin' playin' Swim up
with Admiral Schley BILL he says, tn
Spanish fleet is comm out he says
What talk have YEP says Sampson Sind
out some rowhoats an yacht an destroy
thin. Clubs is thrumps. he says, and he
whit on playin'. TIL Spanish fleet was at
tackled on all sides be our hr-rave la-ads
nobly assisted be tn dispatch boats iv the
newspapers. Wan be wan they was de-
sthroyed. Three battleships attacked tn
convarted yacht Gloucester. Tn Glouces-
ter used to be owned by Pierpont Morgan,
but twas convarted, an is now leadin
dacint life. TIL Gloucester sunk thin all,
tn Christobell Comma. the Viscera an tn
Admiral O'ouinn. II thin whit up 10 two
Spanish torpedo boats an give thin wan
punch an away they whit. BY this time
tn sojers had heeri OF the victhry, an
they gathered on tn shore. sngin' tn
naytional anthem, They'll be hot time In
tn OF town tonight, he babby. TIL glory
Gus OIL chune to which Washin'ton an
Grant an Lincoln marched, was took up
be tn sailors of tn ships an Admiral Ger
vera r-run wan iv his boats ashore an
Jumped into tn sea. AT last accounts tn
following dispatches had been received
To Willium Mckinley: Congratulations on
ye'er noble victhory. tSigneD Wilium
Mckinney To Russell, A. Aiger: Ye done
splendid Sgned) Russell A Alger.' TO
James Wilson. sicrety iv agriculture: This
is great day fr loway. Are We much.
hur-rted? (SigneD James Wilson,
Where did we hear all this?'' asked Mr..
Bennessy in great amaZement
Il r-read it, said Mr.. Dooley, impress
lively, lin the Stats Zeitung."