The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1898-08-11

was told:
Remember the Maine"
Xxx
Miss Arnold, pretty st. Louis girl,
says she kissed Lieut.. Hobson on the
spur of the moment. Tastes differ. If
it had been Saltwater girl he would
have been kissed on the labial trajec.
tory.
x*x
The new biscuit trust has a capital
stock of S5O,OOO,OOO, but it is probably
mostly wind, like their biscuits.
Xxx
Havana is an unhealthy place for
Wall street operators just now. They
eat sharks down there.
Xxx
There are two periods in mans life
during which he does not understand
women One is before, the other after
his marriage.
Xxx
J. Adam Bede says that although
George Washington was first in num-
Der of things, he married the widow
GUSTS. That's nothing, there are lots
of men who marry, not widows, and
don't even take third money.
*
We are not ashamed to own that
items like the following please us as
much as the first tin whistle pleases a
small boy:
The PRISON MIRROR is the best pa
per on our exchange list.-North Star.
The PRISON MIRROR is getting to be
so good that we suspect j. Adam Bede
of being in the pen.-Hutchinson In
dependent.
~
One of our exchanges says that Pop
ulistic tendencies have been discovered
in Hawaii. This report is probably
caused by the extreme decolletteness
of the whiskers of Hon. Sanford B..
Dole.
~
A Minneapolis paper announces an
excursion to heaven. The intention is
probably to use the fact of its return
to Minneapolis as a boom ADVERTISE
ment.
*
Jessie Schley is 40 years old. We
had our suspicion when it was told
that she had gone on an expedition of
peace to Spain on her own hook that
she was opposed to any further waste
of male material. There is not enough
to 60 around as it is.
~
A newspaper correspondent captured
town in Porto Rico, but Gen. Miles
wouldn't stand for it, so the correspond
ent had to give the town back, and
Miles put on his parade hat and went
over and captured it himself. He
classed the act of the newspaperman as
"pernicious activity"
Xxx
Among the gems of the recent press
clippings from Spain is this "Presi-
dent Magginly always consults his old
nurse mulatto woman named Hannah,
before he gives any orders" That is
tuff on Mark Anthony Hanna.
Xxx
OF the name of the leader of the
Chinese rebels, Ii L. Yank, a Chinese
paper says it understands the "lie" and
Yank parts but fails to account for the
e." That is probably the ell that was
knocked out of Manila by Dewey.
Xxx
The PrOhibitiOnists seem to object to
the style of the spree de corps in the
American Army.
*
John G. Woolley says: GA Christian
who votes the Republican ticket at a
general election Marks down Christ.
and if he votes the Democratic ticket
he puts Christ upon the remnant coun-
ter" There is nothing left but to go
Pop.
~
Considering the number of fish hatch
cries in this country it is surprising
that only one sucker minute is born.
Xxx
In some of the summer hotels they
have seats called te-a-tetes, that is two
seats turned so as to face each other,
1t is very funny to see a near sighted
man coup and try to drag off one half of
one of these seats while lone lady is
occupying the other half.
Ky
1t seems that number of mario d.
men down in Hot Springs, who went
out to have real good time while their
wives were AWAY tr0t tho oditor of Tho