The Portland daily press., 1898-11-04
SOME AMUSING BULLS.
Those Perpetrated by Mr.. Gladstone and
Other British Statesmen.
(Tit-Bits.)

(Tit- Bits.)
Mr. Gladstone was the author of one of
the most amusing bulls ever heard in
the British House of Comomns. In the
course of a speech he imputed to a mem
Der AN intention which the honorable
gentleman referred to denied by shake
of the head.
aNo, no.'' exclaimed Mr.. Gladstone;
SIT Is no use for the honorable gentleman
to shake his head in the teeth OF MS own
words. -
A short time ago A. ]. Balfour IN
dulged in another very laughable lncon-
gruity Of expression. Some of the scotch
members urged that they should be al
lowed time to discuss bill in which they
were interested. and MIR. Balfour, in re-
ply, commented on the fact that Scottish
debates ware carried on. as a rule, in
thin house, which he described as IAN
empty theater of unsympathetic audi
tors
Lord Randolph Churchill. on one ocoas-
ion, spoke of a sum of money which was
under discussion as "a mere fea-b1te in
the ocean of our expenditure and it was
only recently that Welsh member con-
cluded categorical denial Of statement
which had been made in the course OF .
debate by saying, sit gives me greaS
pleasure to have nailed that lie to the
mast.''
A prominent Conservative member who
represents a constituency in Ulster.
speaking on a bill which Scoposed to ex-
tend the franchise of Ireland, said: "You
should refrain from throwing open the
foodgates of democracy lest you should
pave the way for general confiagra-
t1on.o
This amusing specimen of mixed meta
phor was equalled, if not excelled, by the
late Sir Patrick O'brien, who had wide
reputation as d maker Of ''bulls, when
he described the author of a certain politi-
cal pamphlet as IAN understrapper; a
mere political fly, who is acting the part
of snake in the grass; back-stalrs as
sassin of the people who has the audacity
to appear before them il the light OF day
and stealthily stab them in the back
Happily for the gaiety Of the House of
Commons, the race of Irish "bullS'' will
never be entirely run. During the dis
cussion in committee on the Irish local
government bill a few weeks ago, an
lr1SQ Iu6LuU6E bpOko VI NAI odllOuI db
being Iron bound in red tape"
A ready retort is also highly appreciated
at St. Stephens. The happiest and most
crushingI ever heard was given about ten
years ago. In the course of a rather
acrimonious political debate an honorable
member taunted some of his opponents
on the other side of the House with their
want of knowledge. CAT least we are
not stupid" said one of the members,
uhseu uentIv HCan That be said of the
honorable gentleman? Hor my part l do
not believe he could say boo to,
goose.
The member at whom this taunt was
cast Immediately sprang to his feet and in
a loud voice shouted "Boo, boo !"
British legislators do not even stop at
practical jokes to relieve the tedium OF
making laws. Some years ago there was
III the House an Irish member of consid
cradle wealth, but negligent in his dress,
his hat especially being of a very ancient
date. One night he met the chief score
tary for Ireland in the lobby and said: II
have got a new hat; here it is; l hope
you approve of 1t.
sit is a very nice hat, indeed" said the
chief secretary, "but l don't know why
you should ask my approval of it. :"
"Didn't you send me this fnote on the
subject?" asked the member, and to the
q note which purported. to be written by
him on the official notepaper of the Irish
Office.
The writer expressed the hope that he
would be excused for stepping beyond the
privileges of ordinary acquaintance to
suggest In the strictest confidence to the
honorable member that his hat was not
exactly what a gentleman of his position
and wealth ought to wear.