The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1898-11-09
All Sorts OF Paragraphs.


Who ceases to be friend never
was friend
Sin has many tools, but a | is
the handle which fits them all.
= Satan smiles every time he sees
two men trying to trade horses.
When one walks with eternal
truth he need not haste nor fret.
- This country has more than g.
100000 men fit for military duty.
= Many woman who cannot drive
nail or horse, can drive man.
- The United States still have g.
835, ,757 square miles of public land.
When man is resigned to his
fate the resignation is usually ac-
cepted.
- A fashionable shoemaker SAYS
that women~ can endure more pain
than men.
How came you here p said the
visitor to prisoner in the peritentiary
Il was brought here by my convic-
tions." was the firmly spoken reply.
She-You're awfully young to
be called colonel. He-Well. I've
been in 18 engagements, and the girls
and fought like the duce in every
one.
Pitts Carminative is pleasant to the
taste, acts promptly, and never fails to
give satisfaction. It carries children
over the critical time of teething, and
is the friend of anxious mothers and
puny children. A few doses will dem
onstrate it's value. f. H. Dorsey
Athens, Ca, writes: II consider Is
the best medicine I have have ever
used in my family. It does all you
claim for it, and even more"
Mother-Willie, dear, what would
you like best for your birthday !?
Wiliie-Oh, mama, I should like a
telephone next to my pillow, 80 that 1
might go to school in bed.
"Did you ever see horse race
that you could say was absolutely
honest Z" II think did, wunst,"
said Rubberneck Bill. s'The feller
what was ahead had stold the hoss."
- First Volunteer hear Bill 8
fell dead in love with that girl that
nursed him. Second Volunteer
Right you are. He got mashed on the
beautiful way she always stuck her
little finger out when shs Hxed his
bandages.
-"And now," said the editor, "let
US be thankful for one day Of rest and
get ready for church" Eyes, said
the wife, 'run out and chop some
wood, and milk the COWS. and light
the fire, and make the coffee, and wash
the children, while I bang my hair !"
It is hard to keep true lovers
apart. NJ. j. Stewart, of West Vir-
ginia, aged IS, has just married Miss
Sarah Jane Evans, aged II. They
were lovers fifty years ago, but the
old folks objected and they bided
their time till the old folks died, and
then loves young dream was re-
allied.
= The remarkable feat of telephon-
ing from Boston to Kansas City wss
accomplished on Saturday last, the
distance u,57O miles) bsing the long
est ever covered by single telephone
circuit. The officials at each end Of
the line succeeded in making them
selves distinctly understood.
Fighting again, eh 2" inquiries
the Vermont father. ''Well, I will see
you in the wood-shed after dinner; .:
Father" explains the boy, with tears
in his eyes, ut was that johnson boy.
He came along and called me the son
of cross.eyed sheep theaf; and, faith
er, I couldn't stand by and hear you
spoken Of in that Eanner |" The
father feels in his vest pocket for q
cent, and nothing more is said about
ehed business.
A Sure Sign Of Group.
Hoarseness in child that is sub.
jeot tO cronp is sure indication of
tho approach Of the disease. IF
Chambcrlain's Cough Remedy is given
as soon as the child becomes hoarse,
or even after the oroupy cough has
appeared, il will prevent the attack.
Many mothers who have croupy chill
dren always keep this remedy at hand
and find that it ssves them much trou.
BILE and worry. Il can always be de-
pended upon and is pleasant to take.