Kansas City journal. [volume] (Kansas City, Mo.) 1897-1928, 1898-03-23
price all the corn, wheat, beef and bacon
that may be wanted"

that may be wanted"
"a few days ago." says the Ottawa Her
aid. "as the Ottawa train began to pull
out of Lawrence a man was heard yelling
at the end of the platform farthest dis
tant from the moving train. Thu man was
red in the face and out of breath from his
violent exertion; it was some time before
he could attract the attention of anyone
on the train. but finally Conductor Punk
EFT saw the poor fellow, and made up
his mind to stop and let him on. The train
was by this time nearly half way up the
turnstile. AS the mar came painting and
blowing and putting up the track he was
apparently much gratified by Conductor
Plunkett's kindness in stopping the train.
He said. 1 just wanted to tell you that I
couldn't so up with you to-day. but that I
will want to go up Tomorrow"
Naval item from the Wichita Eagle:
George said the Kansas farmer, who
had been reading the naval maneuvers at
Key West to the hired man. Pipe up the
rat-lines and set and brace the jibboom OF
that windmill"
1T is natural says Victor Murdoch,
that a Kansas boy should invent the rap
idly disappearing gun carriage. He got the
idea from a Kansas jack rabbit as It un-
buckles its hind-legs and squats while the
shot %scatters harmlcssly in the air over
head"
German measles have made their appear
ance in Parsons. Nobody except the indi-
vidual who has been vaccinated with pure
limburser is safe from the ravages of this
disease, no matter how many times he may
have had the ommon, ordinary old brand
of measles.
I'm case of an early and severe reverse
of our troops says the war editor of the
Wichita Eagle. the Spanish could easily
take Washington. And it may be stated for
the benefit of the fellows who didn't Sc
cure postoffices in Kansas that 10 Br;stow's
house is in easy shell-throw from the
river"
"Gineral' Artz. who achieved distinction
during the Lewelling war as commander.
in-chief of the land and naval forces, claims
that he has struck a rich body of gold
bearing ore up in Trego county Some OF
the ore. he says, will run $500 to the ton
while rocks which assay 81 or IS a ton are
lying around everywhere on top of the
ground.
As his back begins to itch under his fan
/ nels and an uncomfortable longing to go OH
and dig bait takes hold of his soul. thu
editor of the Frankfort Bee thus break:
forth in song: Again the vernal equinox
is drawing to a focus. And the bulldog ant
the lizard will trade places in the bog; Ant
the crocus and the locust will begin theil
hocus-pocus. And the gentle goddess Cere:
will be lying round incog. Soon again thu
prurient poets. both facetious and facti
tious, Will assail springs specious splendol
with their 'rotten-rot' most rude; Soor
again the giddy gusher will assume an all
most vicious, And again by her enchant
ment every Jude will be bdued Soor
bluff Boreas. so bitter. will give birds &
| show to twitter. And the lambs will take
occasion. as girls do, to skip. And thu
| soda fountain fellows. in their sleeves. will
slyly litter And we ante up our nickles fol-
the festive fizz and flip Soon again the
weary merchant will lay off a day fol
fishing; And with grub-grubs, frog ant
tackle will set forth at dawn of day. Bu'
in spite of all his efforts, and his almos
witching wishing. He will only carry home
ward what the jug first took away. Swee
spring, / dearly love you. and you canno
be too vernal; Excuse that strange eX
preston, but it tells you to a T. What
wish indeed most truly. that your sta!
could be eternal. l would gladly be you
poet if you wished me thus to he. I'd b.
proud and pleased to tell you very often o
your beauty. All your graces and YOU
glories in my sweetest strains I'd sing;
would put my vernal verses far above al
other duty. And no other bard should cal
you anything but gentle spring.