Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1898-01-26
UNCLE COIILE' 5 NOO|NG,

I'm going to get married, Tim"
Uncle Cottle sat very upright in his
chair, and spoke with an air of invincible
decision.
What, again?' drawled his nephew,
YEARLY.
again, sir? When was I married be-
fore?"
''But this isn't the first time you've been
going to do it, uncle; that's what I
meant Tim explained. "Do know the
ITS Miss sybil Holt, Tim" said Uncle
Cottle, confidentially. "The most lovely
-the-the-oh-h! l met her the other
evening at Mrs. Dynham's silver wedding
party, and she-er-quite seemed to take
TO me. I'm older than she is" he sighed
pensiyely, 'but 1 look a good ten years
younger than [ am; don't you think so ?"
Young Tim regarded him critically,
without hazarding an opinion. He was
past middle age, and looked it; full
bodied little gentleman, with short,
dumpy legs and bland. moon-like face,
whose prevailing expression was of i'm
perturbable simplicity.
Have you proposed?"
''Why. no; I've only seen her once. Be
SIDES" Uncle Cottle sighed again, "Im so
shy, you know, Tim-so Internally shy!
The only time [ ever managed to propose
was when L wrote to that widow-you re-
member, you helped me with the letter
and she never answered. You didn't
Hoit?"
81 don't remember ever to have met
her.
"Ah! IF you had, you couldn't forget
her She's an aunt you'll be proud of,
my boy
''But she may not appreciate the honor
of obtaining me for a nephew"
If she refuses me, Tinl-if | lose her
as I've lost all the Others" cried Uncle
Cottle wildly, 81 shall think there's a
curse on me, and I'll give in-Tn j., never
Young Tim hoped he would. Uncle Cot
tie had been his guardian ever since he
was quite a boy, but since he came of
age, some SIX years ago, he had rather
reversed the position of affairs, and
looked upon Uncle Cottle with the jealous
eye of a sole proprietor who didn't want
anybody to NEEDLE with his business.
I'm his only relative" he complained
to his crony, Ted Merrows, as they sat
at breakfast next morning in the cham
bers they renanted in common. Whats
his is mine He's said so lots of times.
If he gets married, though, his wife will
expect at least half; and if he has chill
dren-therell be no meat left on the bone
for mer'
They were both reading Tor the bar,
but Ted Merrows put aside his paper for
the moment, and placed all his intellect
at the service Of his friend.
Whats the use looking black about
it? He's been going to marry often
enough before"
But he's never seemed so determined
as he is now He's dyeing his hair and
cultivating a figure"
''Gone so far as thatr' exclaimed Ted.
''Then I'm afraid nothing will stop him. y
I shall try, anyhow" growled Tim.
eff I can't hit on anything better, I shall
tell him I've found out she's engaged.
I've stopped him twice like that; he's SO
nervous and afraidof seeming presumptu-
Gus. That widow was the most danger
ous-three months ago. I really thought
I'd lost him that time. He was so be
witched, he was going to call at her
house, only | persuaded him it wasn't
etiquette, and that he ought to write first
and disclose his sentiments, and ask per-
mission to call. | undertook to post the
letter on my way home here to the TEN
pie, and | put it in the fire. When he
got no answer, he wished he hadn't writ
ten-felt he had been impairment and she
was offended"
Suppose he meets her and mentions
it?"
HE daren't; know his too well. He'd
be SO ashamed and panic-stricken he'd
run away at the sight of her''
w ell, you nave DoeH lucky SO TAR,
but it can't go on like this forever" OBJ
served Ted Merrows. ''Take my tip and
make hay while the sun Shines"
"HoW do you mean"
you are old enough to marry, and, as
your uncle's sole heir you'd be valuable
article in the matrimonial market; but if
he marries, you'll find yourself on the
shelf among the damaged goods and rem
nants. Dispose Of yourself while you are
still heir and the fitting lord for an
heiress: You can't stop the old man mar
rying, but you can take care he doesn't
spoil you by marrying first"
but [ don't know anybody" re-
monstrated Tim. "How am [ to find the
heiress, get introduced and engaged, and
marry her out of hand in -
you might find one through the matri
monial journals"
Don't they? All heiresses are not in
society; some of them want to get there
and they advertise. They wouldn't marry
a gentleman with nothing, perhaps, un-
less they happened to be old and ugly
but they would be glad to snap up a man
like you. moving in good society, with q
liberal allowance from your uncle and
hopeful prospects. Then, if your uncle
deserts you afterward, her money will
keep the wolf from the door and save you
from working yourself to DEATH"
II
Young Tim had a morbid horror OF
poverty and overwork, and that story
haunted him all day. 1t shone through
his dismal forebodings like the moon
through mist; it seemed almost toe
good to be true. He dined alone that
evening at a restaurant in the Strand
and, passing news agents on his way
back into the Temble, he noticed some
matrimonial journals in the window, and
went in and bought one. He was some.
what relieved, on entering his chambers
to find that Ted Merrows was not yet al
home. He opened the Journal and stud
led the crowded columns in private, and
lighted at length on business-like ad.
vertisement that impressed him favor
ably: