Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1898-09-01
WINNING A WoMAN's LOVE
Algernon Herkenham Tried New Recipe
without Marked Success.

Algernon Perkenham Tried a New Recipe
without Marked Success.
Algernon Perkenham had for a
long, long time loved Alice d'Orsay
fervently, almost madly, but she
had not seemed to return his passion
with the enthusiasm that he could
have wished. AS matter of fact,
she had always seemed to become
intensely interested in horses or golf
or the latest novel whenevefhe had
begun to verge upon the subject of
love. This had disagreed with the
digestion, and consequently the spir-
its of Mr. Perkenham. He quit
hanging around the stage doors,
cared nothing for the stories that
were told at his club and aroused
the anxiety of his mother.
One day he got hold of book in
which he read that the surest way
to win a woman's love was to APP
pear Indifferent to her, to treat her
as if she were unworthy of being
taken seriously and to dispute every
thing that she said.
Algernon Perkenha1a' g heart gave
a mighty leap when he read this,
insomuch that his tonsils were al
most knocked from their founda-
lions.
"I'll begin tonight he said to
himself. III make her think that
I look upon her as the dust beneath
my feet. I'll paralyze herr
So that evening he called at the
d'Orsay palace, for, as he told his
friends, he chad the ongtray there, !"
the Perlzenhams and the d'Orsays
being mutually interested in the
stockyards business.
The beautiful girl swept into the
drawing room after the young man
had waited half an hour and ex-
claimed:
ooh, good evening, Mr.. Perken-
ham! I'm so glad to see you! It's
a beautiful evening, isn't it?'
He threw one leg over the other,
yawned and replied:
ooh, dunno! 1t aim t so warm. {"
"Warm?' - she replied in some sur
prise "No, it isn't too warm. It's
just nice"
"Think 500 Seems beastly to me. .
why Miss d'Orsay said as she
sat down in chair that was plenty
large enough for two, "you seem to
have a grudge against the world
this evening. l hope it is not be-
cause had to keep you waiting?
assure you couldn't help
"Oh," he interrupted, "don' t
worry about that! I haven't any
kick comm against the world. Never
felt more cheerful in my life. Fact
is I feel SO good I can hardly keep
from whoopin right out. AS for
your keepin me waitin, I didn't
mind. Twas havin such a good time
here all by myself that if you hadn' t
come down for an hour don t s. pose
I'd have noticed it.
She looked at him steadily for a
moment and then said:
"Your sister Lillian was telling
me last week that you were not en-
joying very good health. l suppose
that is the reason we have not had
the privilege Of seeing much of you
lately"
"Some folks seem to be nightly
interested in the state of my
health,'' he replied, maintaining his
devil may care expression with some
difficulty, for his impulse was to
throw himself at the sweet maiden s
feet and tell her that he could not
live without her love. "My health
has never been better'n it has been
lately" he went on. "The reason ]
haven't called here very often is
that I've had other engagements.
broke several pressin ones just to
come around this .evenin, for ]
s'posed you'd think it strange if
staid away any longer, and !
wouldn't have you worry about me
for anything. Say, that's beastly
way you've got your hair done up.
Makes you look 40 years old Now,
if you d wear your hair back farther
on your head it wouldn t make your
nose seem to turn up so much at the
end. IT p
But she had suddenly risen and,
without saying anything, hurried
from the room.
A moment later the butler, who
weighed 1877 pounds and had big
fists with long tufts of hair on
them, appeared in the doorway and
said:
"Miss d 'Orsay says to trun youse
out and tell youse dat if youse ever
come around here wild anudder jag
she'll have youse run INF
Three minutes must have elapsed
before Algernon Perkenham was
able to gather himself up at the bot
tom of the marble stems and limr