The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1898-12-22
HITS AND STRIKES.
THE DYING HOBO.

I'm going to a land where folks
Are not run in for vags,
Where angels twang on golden strings,
And I will not wear rags.
never had a mother, Mike;
No happy youth was mine;
Raised ON machine-made charity
That Christians think so fine.
guess my head is light Mike;
For am seeing things,
And hear sweet music playing,
And then a church bell rings.
I'm just a little boy, Mike.
That woman calls me-hear!
guess that is my mother, Mike,
Her eyes they smile so clear.
Upon her breast I'll lay my head
And she will cherish me.
sometimes dreamed when was small
That same sweet face I'd see
Hark. hear that engine whistle
1 must catch her on the fly
Good bye, then, dear old pardner
I'm not afraid to die.
A smile, a sigh all's over.
He never spoke again.
And Mike caught the blind baggage
On the next SOuth-gOing train.
Xxx
Mr.. Emil Marx of New York found
pretty little female burglar under his
bed and turned her over to the police.
Emil is not up-tO date. His education
has been neglected. In fact, he's no
gentleman.
Xxx
l see by dispatches that the women
in Spanish city stoned statue of
Columbus. 1t appears that a press
representative, noticing a number of
women throwing rocks, went to invest.
igate the trouble. He was hit in the
eye with brickbat, upon which he
Immediately became convinced that the
ladies were stoning the statue of
Columbus. 1t is the only way to as
certain what woman throws a rock
at.
*
The question "Why should we ex-
pand?" was settled out in Colorado the
other day by some hoboes who held a
swell banquet on bag of dried apples
and keg of cider which they had an
nexed.
A gentleman named WadswOrth re-
Gently was relieved of a roll of the long
green in a Chicago resort. He COM
planned that he didn't get his wad's-
worth of entertainment
Xxx
A New York paper has been sued
for libel by ballet dancer for saying
that she was not star-merely an
asterisk.
Anxious Inquirer wants to know
what p. p. stands for. You've got me.
It may mean Pontius Plate, or Pho
neer Press or Pass the Pie. Come to
think of it, l guess that's what it
means. p. p, governor.
*
Sweden was nearly torn up by the
roots not long since on account of an
accident or oversight on the part of
the minister of war. He appeared at
court in the uniform of full general
with plug hat. don't know how the
uniform of a full general differs from
that of sober one, but the baron was
sentenced to two days private arrest
on account of it. At last accounts the
country is recovering its normal tran
guilty. You see that it is not only in
the wild and woolly west that plug hats
are dangerous.
A colored member of the North
Carolina legislature proposes to
make motion to change
the word "polls" wherever it appears
in the statutes to 'tropics."
Xxx
A minister down in Kansas is suing
for a divorce because he has discOv-
cred that his wife has negro blood in
her veins-not sufficient to be appar-
ent to the naked eye-but proved by
pedigree. Some day in the future St..
Peter will discover that the soul of
that minister is black he will not
need to look into his pedigree to be-
come aware Of the fact either.
X.
When an unmarried woman has
passed her twenty-fifth milestone she
generally begins to hold her age phe-
nomenally well.
s"*
All peace-jubilees should be post
poned until after the adjournment of
congress.
X