Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1898-08-14
NOT AS FUNNY AS IT SEEMS.
Sober Experience of Typical Man
WGose Wife Is Away but Handy.
Washington Post.


| Washington Post.
The young married man whose wife
| went, on Monday last, for months
visit at her mothers seashore place
got along all right on Monday night.
Bully good scheme, this being alone
once in q while, he said to himself
often enough to sort of half convince
himself OF it. He was a bit tired. so
he remained home that night. After
the old nanny, who prepared his VIC
tuals, left, he cleaned all of his pipes,
sharpened all OF his pencils, and de-
| cided to block out chapter or two OF
that great novel he had in mind. This
pan didn't go through, however. 1t
tdck to much of his time to get his
pipes just right Anyhow, he felt kind
O. dull And the girl across the street
was humming Rubenstein's melody in
f to soft accompaniment. His wife
| used to sing that He decided to get
his wife to sing it right for him when
she returned. He wondered how she
was making out, anyhow.
'She certainly looked classy and trig
in that rig she went away in" he
llOUSul. IL biOuSAll any VI NAAOoS
Willies down there nd try to make
eyes at her, I'd -." He walked up
and down a bit when this idea struck
him. He decided to take his cold
plunge and go TO bed.
Great scheme, this going it alone
once in while" he muttered weakly,
just before he went to sleep. IN tog
out and have little whirl around to-
morrow night
He found it a bit odd not to have
little person in what he caued a
"dinky' wrapper, 10 express his radi-
cal views to on the war the next morn
ing, but he kept on saying to himself
that the young fellows who kept them
selves fcotloose knew their gait all
right.
That night he took a trolley r1de-
Out at the suburban pavilion he met a
couple of the girls he used to know,
accompanied by young men. He tried
to be rakish and desperately nirtatious
with one of the girls-'iust want to
find out he said to himself. IF get
ting married has made me a dead
one and he thought he was having
rafting good time, but this think was
not a very betty one.
THAT girl isn't SO bright as she used
to be-" he thought, as he returned TO
the city on the trolley. Il just watch
ed her prettying herself moistening
her lips, and fixing her eyes, and held
ing on to that permanent smile, Now,
Pattie" "Pattie" is his wife-"nevsr
went in for that sort OF thing. She's
on the dead level, and that's right.
Think so the more | see Of the others.
Wonder is she's having any SORT of a
time down there anyhow? But | tell
you what. old boss it's the proper kink
to go It alone once in while"
On Wednesday night, after he had
eaten his supper. he couldn't quite de-
eide what he'd do to pass the time He
moseyed idly around his wife's dress
ing-room. The very faint perfume In
the room got him TO thinking. A for
gotten pair Of his wife's gloves were
on the dresser. He picked them up.
"Odd perfume that Pat uses" said
he to himself Guess there's only
enough Of it made for her use. Never
got next &c any perfume like that
around anybody else. Wonder If she's
having oh, the Dickens, III just run
over and get into little game with
The fellows"
The little game didn't hit him as II
used to. The fellows We're all unmar-
ried men-"durned frivolous lot he
thought. as he studied them. "a man
hasn't got the brains Of an angle-worm
until he's doubled up. anyhow tie
smoked a lot OF cigars and quit 1875
ahead of the game; but somehow or
another. he didn't feel just right as be
finished his cold tub and got ready for
bed Some darby lads went dawn the
street singing and picking guitars.
This made him sort Of woozy. 50 be