River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1898-08-04
UNCLE JOE'S PLEDGE.

al hear that Uncle Joe Sheester, of Rerks
county, IS dead, f" said John Gilbert, the trav
sling groceryman, "and that reminds me
that be mover broke the pledge that he made
more than 20 years ago. Uncle Joe Sheester
was Jolly old Pennsylvania Dutch farmer
and he had been for 30 years or more con
spicu0us as a citizen through bis perennial
convivialty.
There were few nights in the week when
Joe.s faithful bay mare Betscy could not be
seen tied to the tavern hitching post in the
village near which his farm lay, waiting pa
.iently for the coming Of her master, when
his libations, shared by an always willing
collection Of loungers in the barroom, had
produced a certain condition OF booz ness in
Uncle Joe that made him no longer agree.
able or profitable company. At this stage he
was always conducted to his horse and
helped upon her back. Uncle Joe never had
much control Of bis physical or mental facu-
ties at such times, so long as he was afoot,
but the moment be was 10 the saddle upon
Betsey's back he would straighten up like a
major. As soon as he was well settled in the
saddle and the reins were in his hands his
mare would be of like a shot, and she in.
variaby delivered Joe safe at his farmhouse
door
lar degree Of stupidity IN his cuIs the boys
were in the habit Of playing all sorts of tricks
and jokes on him, the general obliquity of his
discernment making him an easy and credu-
lous victim. Joe paid but small heed to his
surroundings at such times. In one of the
villages in that neighborhood there was a
man-and he's there yet, guess-who had a
remarkable genius for carving and modelling
ethgies Of animals in wood. He once carved
wooden dog for a patron, and had placed it
on the sidewalk outside his shop to give pass
ers-by the privilege Of admiring the work Of
art. 50 natural in pose was the figure, and
80 true to life, that a vagrant and scrappy
coach dog that came along soon afterward
stopped in front Of the wooden dog, bristled
up and growled. end then pitched into the
Unoei. dS@ wit h-a sai'4'nanass and earnest ness
witnessed the assault that the coach dog
was deceived by the cunning of the artist
into believing the wooden dog real one.
The coach dog did not discover it's error un.
til il had wiped up the sidewalk with the
image several times and knocked its legs off.
ThenAthe real dog dropped the wooden dog,
gazcd a second or so at the shattered ruins
with staring eyes, and then sneaked away
with its tail between its legs, about the most
ashamed and sheepshlooking dog that ever
found itself detected in foolish business.
This artist in wood carving got an order
from a Reading harnessmaker one time,
about % years ago, to chop out a life-sized
bay horse, which the merchant wanted as a
sign in front Of his store. The horse vas to
be built standing at rest, in an easy, morse.
like pose, and to be mounted on four large,
easy running casters, so that it could be
moved in and out of the store with the least
possible amount OF wear and tear on the
clerk. This order was executed to the let
ter, and IN a manner that excited the won.
der, and admiration of all who saw it. 1t
was so natural, some one declared, that if
the wooden horse neghed it wouldn't have
surprised anyone
About that time Unce Joe Sheester tied
his old mare Betsey at the tavern hitchng
post one evening and took his usual place in
the barroom to WOO couvivlahty. While be
was thus engaged some Of the boys were
seized with an idea that they thought had
promise Of particularly brilliant results, and
they Immediately proceeded to carry it out
They surreptitiousiy removed the wooden
horse from the shed, put a saddle and bride
IN it, led Betsey to the shed and shut her in
and tied the counterfeit presentment of a
horse to the tavern hitching post. The night
was dark. About ten o'clock Uncle Joe
came out Of the tavern with a large cargo
aboard. Some Of the boys helped him on the
horse, united the halter. as they always did
with Betsey. and put the reins in Joe's
hands Joe had submitted to all this me
chemically, as was his habit, but when he
Strengthened up in the saddle, and Bctsey
lid not dash away, he sat moment speech
ess with establishment, and then slappng
his leg with one hand exclaimed, in a tone OF
maudhn despair:
Ny alt Petsey ISIS palky NIT me, py
shiug!
Wait. Uncle .Joe,' said one of the iokers