davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1898-10-21
A BIT OF SCOTCH.

A good story is that OF a certain ser
mon in Scotch church, at which near
lY the whole congregation went to
3 eep The minister pounded on the
pull and cried them shame to be all
asleep when he was preaching the
word of God. And then he looked up
in the gallery and saw there an idiot
boy who attended divine service regu-
larry. He CHANGED to be wide awake
and the minister pointed to him in ad-
miration.
See there" he shouted, "even
Jamie. the idiot, is awake an drinkin'
in the word ~
YES" shouted back Jamie then,
but if l hadn't been an idiot I'd "a
bin asleep, ~
Another is of an old minister of one
of the good tlocks in Scotland who was
much impressed by his own cleverness.
One Sunday morning he made pow
erful effort, and after the sermon, when
he had dismissed the congregation and
come down to the vestry, he said to
the beadle:
Now, it is singular, most singular,
that l have preached two hours and
am not in the least tired-not in the
least. 1t is wonderful"
All" said the beadle. Yes; ye're
ma tired. But you ought to see the
congregation.
An amusing incident happened at
one of the 'catacheesms" which are
held periodically in Scotland for all
the members of the kirk of certain
district. The lesson was in Ecclesias-
ties, and they had been discussing the
verse in which Solomon says, Among
a thousand men l have found one, but
among thousand women have /
found not one" meaning one just and
good and upright. And an old woman,
when she had listened in silence and
heard the rest accept it rs present and
Gospel truth, got her dander up and
rose to her feet.
"Hoot." she said, Indignantly, her
eyes blazing. Don't You mind why
that was? 1t was because ma dacent
woman wad be seen in his company,
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1898-10-21

81 don't know" she said, but
don't think you will find it there, be-
cause Bertram has been through that
three times already. Did you ever
eat Strawberries before breakfast and
gather them yourselfyn
So we went into the kitchen garden
and ate strawberries until the gong
rang for breakfast. Bertram and
William were quite sulky and savage
from the non success of their search,
and the little time | had devoted to it
annoyed them.
Il believe said Bertram, with an
air of gayety, little overdone, that
WiIfred thinks he knows where the
heart is, and that he can put his hands
on it at any moment.
~ wish could" said.
80 do l." said Edith, almost in the
same breath.
You wish Wilfred to find the
heart" said William. "Why?"
"Oh, no. | don't mean Wilfred; l
meant-at least-well, we shall all he
glad when it's settled one way or the
other, shan't we?'
| had never told Edith | loved her,
because did Lot know how my aunt
intended to leave her money, and if
Edith were to be the heiress of the
whole-but anyone will understand
my reasons.
twas week after aunt's funeral
that | went into the rose garden, where
Edith was shipping roses into a
basket.
I've been looking for the heart
again." / said, but | haven't found
it,
NO" she answered, Il don't sup
pose you will Would Gloire de
Dion be any compensation
She began to stick one in my coat
as she spoke. Her slender waist, in
its black gown, was very near my left
arm where she stood.
Il will take the bud" said, but
not MS compensation for the heart"
Don't you Think she asked me,
THAT it might be possible to live hap
PLY without a charm to help youY"
No" | said, mot without a charm
to help you. But ruby hearts are not
the only charms in the world"
Nv arm fell on her waist.
Let them find their ruby heart
Let them chop it in pieces and divide
it between them and sell the bits"
said |.
And you are content with what You
havefn she asked.
Il am content with what | have"
l answered, and my other arm went
went round her.
They never found that ruby heart,
though the poor old house was tapped
and tested from top to bottom. At
last, wearied out. they took the por-
ton of goods that fell unto them and
went. fortunately for us, into far
country. And Edith and l were
married.
We didn't go on a wedding tour,
but came straight back to the dear old
house.
GA the evening of our wedding day
We walked in the moonlight through
the rose garden to listen to the night
ingales. stopped to hold her in my
arms on the very spot where | had
first kissed her, and the light shawl
she wore round her head and should
ers fell back.
WHATS that you have round your
neckI" | said, for something darkened
amid the white laces on her breast.
She did not answer. | put up my
hand, touched with thrill the white
ness of her neck, and found in my fin
gers the ruby heart.
Then she gave it to YOU" said:
1T is yours?"
She gave it into my keeping"
answered Edith, dropping her chin
till her lips rested on my hand; but
she left it TO the man who should
fini it
And have found there -
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1898-10-21
VOL. XLIII---NO Al
THE ART OF RESTING.

Rest and ldleness are very far indeed
from being synonymous terms. Very
few people even rest in sleep. The
head or arm of IA sleeping child is SO
much dead weight, while that OF d
grownup person feels much lighter
proportionately than it should. TIE
reason is simple. The child knows
how to rest The adult wastes a GER
tain amount of muscular eXertiou even
when he has laid himself down TO
sleep. Few people, again, allow them
selves to relax thoroughly when they
sit i'll chair or carriage. Sandow is
less fatigued after an hours exercise
than an average society woman who
has taken an hours ride on the rail
way. Most of the fatigue of long
journey is quite unnecessary. and
comes from an unconscious, otticious
effort of trying to carry the train in
stead of letting the train carry US. or
of resisting the motion instead OF re-
taxing and yielding to 1t. Unlike man
ner, almost ali of us, in performing any
action, fail to contine the muscular
exertion to the set of muscles actually
needed. The sympathetic action of
the tongue with which many people
accompany the act of writing, or the
whispering with the lips of every word
read by the eyes, may serve as illus
trations. Indeed, the mere act of sit
ting down with thousands OF people
can be made as exhaustive an exploit
as swinging ten-pound dumb-b bell ex-
ercise would be to others or q viz
tuoso playing the piano forty hours on
the stretch. A recent writer AYERS that
when we begin to understand that
true repose involves something more
than mere non-action, the better it
will be for ourselves and for the future
race
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1898-10-21
BICYCLE RULES.

Do not ride a wheel until you have
mounted it. When you meet a young
lady acquaintance smile confidently,
take off your cap with either hand, or
both, and choose II soft place to fall
Rest your chin on the handle bars.
Any other position would give the i'm
preston that you were a novice. III
horse and vehicle are ahead of you
ride by at a speed OF not less than
thirty miles an hour. 1t is so refresh
ing for the nerves of the horse it the
animal is little high-spirited. Never
sit erect in your saddle. 1t is too good
for your health. If a doctor tells you
to ride for your health, begin bv Il
hundred-mile trip the first week. You
won't need the wheel for long time
after that, and probably will have an
excellent opportunity better to Guilt
waite the acquaintance of the doctor.
If a wheelman falls in front Of you, do
not stop to be graceful i'll dismountipg.
Get off the very best way you can
without losing time. If you are hollow
chested, long-necked and long armed,
drop your handle bars to the limit and
lean at right angle to the saddle. You
won't look pretty, but no one can see
your face. If you are embonpoint, SO
to speak, and shortarmed, lean back
as far as possible, and push forward.
Do not be surprised if you attract at
teutiOQ.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1898-10-21
TRUE BEAUTY.

The Rev. E. j. Hardy, in his book
entitled The Five Talents of Wo-
men, gives the following rules for
beauty of xrression, which, he claims,
are much more attractive than beauty
of features Learn to govern your
selves, and to be gentle and patient.
Guard your tempeTs, especially in
seasons of i'll health, irritation, and
trouble, and soften them by prayers
and sense of your own shortcomings
and errors. Never speak or act in
anger until you have prayed over your
words or acts. Remember that, valua-
bic as is the gift of speech, silence is
often more valuable. Do not expect
too much from others, but forbear and
forgive, as you desire foTbearance and
forgiveness yourself. Never retort Il
sharp or angry word. It's the second
word that makes the quarrel. Beware
of the first disagreement. Learn to
spt ak in gentle tone of voice. Learn
to say kind and pleasant things when
ever opportunity offers. Study the
characters of each, and sympathize
with all in their troubles, however
small. Do not neglect little things, il
they can affect the comfort of others
in the smallest degee. Avoid moods,
and pets, and fits of sulkiness. Learn
TO deny yourself, and prefer others.
Beware of meddlers and tale-bearers.
Never charge bad motive if a good
one is conceivable
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1898-10-21
A SMART NAN.

what is the meaning of that red
line above the fourth story of your
house?" 'That is a water mark. 1t
shows how high the water was during
the great overflow about year ago. "
impossible. If the water had been
that high the whole town would have
been swept away" The water never
was that high. 1t only came up to
the first story window, but the con-
founded boys rubbed it out three or
four times, so l put it up there where
they can't get at it. 1t takes a smart
man to circumvent those boys"
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1898-10-21
HOH TO CRNDENSE.

"In soft adumbrant meshes of seived
silver the sunbeams melted through
the leaves and dipped in spangles of
gold upon the brown aud black mo
quetre of shadows that led to the rag
ged edge of the curb where Il fragile
little fragment OF humanity lay moan
ing" That's all right enough, "
said the managing editor, but it's Il
little too long. Make it shorter. -
but what shall l say?n asked the
blonde reporter. "Oh. I'd just say
Hennessey Mulcahey's little boy Pat
fell into an open sewer and broke his
nose. That'Il do
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1898-10-21

WANTED-TRUSTWO AND ACTIVE
w gentlemen or ladies to travel for respon-
sible established house In Maryland. Monthly
ence. Enclose self-addressed stamped enve-
lope. The Dominion Company, Dept. r. Chi
cagO. 19no
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1898-10-21

2cetical.
BILLS IN TROUBLE.

I've got a letter, parson. from my son away
out West,
An my Of heart is heavy as a anvil in my
breast,
To think the boy whose futur'I had once so
proudly planned
Should wander from the path o. right an
core to SIGH an emo,
told him when he lett us, only three short
years ago.
He'd ind himself a plowin' in Il mighty crook
ed row
He'd miss his fathers counsels an his mothers
prayers, TOO,
But he said the farm was hateful, an he guess
ed he'd have to go.
know thar's big temptation for youngster
in the West,
But believed our Billy had the courage to re-
sst;
An when he left warned him o. the ever
waitln' snures
That lie like hidden Sarpents in life's pathway
cFerNwhcres;
But Bill he promised faithful.to he kccrful, an
allowed
He'd build reputation that'd make us mighty
proud,
But il seems as how my counsel sort % faded
from his mind,
An now the boys in trouble o. the very
wustest kind.
His letters came so seldom that somehow sort
o. knOwed
That Billy was IL trampin' on Il nighty rocky
road:
But never once imagined he would bow my
head i'll shame,
An in the dust'd waller his Of daddy's honor
ed name.
lie writes from out in Denver. an the story's
mighty short
just can't tell his mother, it'll crush her poor
OF heart,
An an so / reckoned, psrson, you might break
Bills in the Legislature, but he doesn't say
what fur.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1898-10-21
JOHN A. YOUNG,
-PRACTICAL-
Matchmaker and ODdCial

Twenty.tw years as watch repairer
years apprentice. one year under Instructions
315 years foreman and the balance of my
time in business for myself, during a Il this time
l have made study of ''optics, fitting Spec
tacles and Eye Glasses properly, as they should
be fitted.
The lenses are ground to their proper axis
and are fitted and adjusted by myself in Spec
tacles and Eye Glasses Of Gold, Silver, Nickel,
Steel, Rubber or Zylonite frames, and am re-
sponsible myself for all mistakes.
In fitting Lenses to the eye my speciality is in
Mvopia, Hyperopia, Presbycpia and Astigma-
tism, which are near-si2hted. far-sighted, old
sighted and poor sighted Nearly all cases of
astignlatism cen in children, causing pain in
the - rubbing of the eyelids, pain above the
eyebrow "d'che, letters running together,
&C.. rave a complete set of Instruments and
test cards which / use to correct the sight in the
young as well as in the Old - midde-aged
e-I refer to DIR. VIM. s. Richardson, DIR. e.
Hall Richardson, DR.. W. B. Munnikhuysen and
DIR. J. Ward Scott.
JOHN A. YOUNG
16mh Main Street. Bel Air. Md
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1898-10-21
TRIAUS.

Three things to love-Courage, gen.
tleness, affection.
Three things to hate--cruelty ,arrog-
ance, ingratitude.
Three things to despise-meanness
affectation, envy.
Three things to reverence-religion,
justice, self-denial.
Three things TO delight in-beauty,
frankness, freedom.
Three things to wish for-faith,
peace, purity of heart.
Three things to esteem wisdom, pru-
dence, firmness.
Three things to iike--cordiaiity
good humor, mirthfulness.
Three things to suspect--fiattery
hypocrisy, sudden affection.
Three things to avoid--idleness,
loquacity, tlippant testing.
Three things to cultivate-good books
good friends, good humor.
Three things to contend for-honor,
country, friends.
Three things to govern-temper, i'm
pulse, the tongue.
Three things to be prepared for
change, decay, death.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1898-10-21

At THE END.
BY DANskE CAMBRIDGE.

BY DANskE CAMBRIDGE.
Fearlessly into the Unknown
Go forth, thou little soul.
Lauach out upon tnc trackless sea,
Nor wind nor stars to plot thee,
Alone, alone, alone!
Thine is helpless plight,
Thou canst not turn thy helm,
Nor reach the haTbor any more;
Thou drifeeet TO an uhsuessed shore,
Dark, dark the night
Yet launch and take no care;
For what can care avail:
In the dark void, the awful space,
Wh're wand'rest thou to find thy place
Thy God is even there,
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1898-10-21
- y"
SOUIBIETS.

Miss Ef1ie: Captain Jack, why do
they call both ships and women
'she'?'' Captain Jack: Because
they'se neither of them auy use with
out man to look after them
Upon the bill of fare the clam bears
the same relation TO "a Chesapeake
bivalve as ham sandwich does 10
porterhouse steak. Don't be IA clam.
It's about an even thing between
man and the orange peel. Sometimes
the man throws the orange peel into
the gutter, and sometimes the orange
peel throws the man into the gutter.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1898-10-21
FISH LYING INSIDE OF FISH.

A fish recently discovered, named
Authorizations Carolinensis, which is
akin to the genus Fierasfer, seeks its
food inside various marine animals.
1t dwells in the digestive tube of it's
companion, and, without any regard
to the hospitality that it receives, helps
itself first to its part OF everything that
enters. Nothing is more ingenious
than the way in which it introduces
itself into its host. Profiting by the
instant at which holothurjap, or sea
cucumber, dilates its mouth, il quick
ly introduces its tail as far as possible.
The surprised holothurian, upon feel
ing the unknown body penetrating it,
contracts its open mouth, and the fish
is caught by the tail. Thus held, it
takes care not to stir. Soon, however,
regaining its confidence, the holotbuF-
ian opens its mouth again, and the fish
profits by it to penetrate Il little
further. The hag-fish or Myxine, has
custom of setting inside the cod and
similar fishes, and entirely consuming
the interior. leaving only the skin and
the skeleton remaining.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1898-08-21

moated walls stretch from the banks of the
river far inland the idea of British author
ity is welcomed, because tx is thought We
should restore the city TO It's old pre-
eminence
Runners have been afioat from time to
time that our government has advised the
Chinese court 10 return to Nankin. Never
did The ManchuS make q greater mistake
than In keeping themselves separate in
stead of marrying and Identifying them
insignificant fraction and for that reason
probably their emperors are afraid to trust
themselves in the heart OF the country. The
dynasty has no hold on the nation and the
national sentiment is to be reawakened ii
must be here in the British domain. Here
is the old middle kingdom" whose name
Is often used as synonymous with the en-
pire; here are those fiery Huranse that to
this day have kept out the misSiona ries,
literally stoning the prophets, and whose
borders hardly a single foreigner has been
allowed to cross. Honorabiy England is
trying TO save China from partition. from
the twin bane of European rivalries and
STA, having pledged her word to protect the
integrity of China, know tor certain
that she means to aSSail it; in that event 1t
will be England's policy-reuctant, but in
much more here than in Egypt. The
Chinese are a capable people. They would
soon show themselves as competent in poll
tics as they are in business, and as mt for
Self-goVernment and representative inStitu-
tons as the Japanese, and once that result
has been attained between the Peling and
the Nanling mountains no foreign power
will long prevent the unity of China. TWen-
~ years of British predominance in the
Yangtse basin will soon convince the world
that the Chinese are not one of Lord SAILS
burys dying nations 1t is the government
that is moribund, not the nation
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1898-08-21
THE NAVAL ELECTRICIAN.
What Such a FunctiOnary Does on a
Man of War.

what Such a FunctiOnary Does on a
Man of War.
Peter Wintermuth, U. S. NJ, in Leslie's
Weekly.
Do you want to know how an electrician
gets on a man-of-war, and what he does
after he is there? To enter the service as
an electrician, the candidate must first pass
an examination by the electrical board OF
the naval recruiting station, at which he
makes application. The examination aims
to secure only those men who have a good
working knowledge of the business. If sue
cessful, the candidate goes to the receiving
ship, takes his physical examination, and
is "sworn in" Until assigned to some yes
sci he is kept on duty in the navy yard.
in the dynamo room or in the repair shops.
On most ships-of-war the electricians
stand their regular four-hour watches In
engineering department has charge. and it
is our care to look after the circuits, the
instruments, and make such repairs as are
ne necessary. A complete test of the whole
plant must be made each quarter" and
we have Just finished our first one The
current is furnished by three thirty-two-
Armstrong compound generators. Their ca
pacity is 400 amperes each. When it is con-
sidered that there are motor and search
light circuits, and that the whole system
needs constant attention, ii may be seen
that much work is necessary to keep the
system in working order. The main bat
tery consisting of the guns, is provided
with electric firing devices and miniature
fncandescent lamps for night sights. rms
mower is furnished by batteries, ana, DeyOnd
testing twice each day. they do not require
much attention. A correct and complete
log must be kept daily. This includes the
reading each hour of the steam pressure,
engine speed voltage and current on the
generators with any remarks as to the gen.
eral working of the system during each
twenty-four hours All materials expended
from the electrical storeroom must be care
fully accounted for. When at sea in the
enemy's country man must sleep on each
fighting top for possible operation of the
searchlights-of which We carry four. Our
work is of course, harder some days than
others. Every one knows that troubles new
er come singly, and accidents on board ship,
as elsewhere, go in streaks.
When general quarters" sound we are
transformed. General quarters is the sig
nal to clear for action" Our first duty IS
to place spare batteries on all the guns. cut
off all circuits not necessary for the navi-
cation of the vessel. and take down all nix
lures and globes liable to be injured by
conclusion from the guns. When that is
done we become part of the 'bos'ns' fire
brigade. and are stationed aft. where we
may see all the battle and possibly get our
heads knocked of by falling rigging or an
xploding shell. All men on the spar deck
re- in like danRer-but the safest spot IN
tjmo OF action is where you are. Altogether,
p electricians position is Ear from being q
snap.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1898-08-21
OUT OF THE ORDINARY.

The Bank of England contains silver in
COTS which have lain in its vaults since 1906.
There are twenty-seven royal families in
origin.
The basin of the st. Lawrence river covers
$4,000 square miles, of which 100000 are in
Canada.
Chocolate is still used in the interior of
South America for currency, as are cocoa
nuts and eggs.
The population Of st. Petersburg now
numbers ], 132 ST. persons of whom SIG, 855 are
males and 515.S22 females.
1t is a curious fact that the honey bee
was never known in the United States until
imported from England
The Emperor of Germany has over two
hundred crosses, stars, badges ard other
insignia, the value Of which is 100000
The Chinese have devoted themselves for
nearly 400 years to the artificial propaga-
ton of fishes, shell fishes. fowls, pearls and
sponges.
A little sugar taken with water. not too
cold, in case food is not obtainabie will
relieve any feeling OF exhaustion and sharp
hunger.
Longwcod Bonaparte's house at ST Hell
ena, is now barn; the room in which be-
died is q stable; on the site Of his srave IS
machine for grinding corn.
The first use of Niagara's power was made
in IT25. primitive sawnill being operated.
Nothing moro was done until 1919 when
Augustus Porter conceived the plan Of n.y.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1898-08-21
Inspirations to Verse Writers.



War may be a great literary stimulus. but
it has not yet produced any masterpieces
so far as we are aware. They may come
later but up to the present We have had
little but doggerel about the Maine and
bold Dewey" If such things are the legit-
innate product of war, II must be said that
they add a new horror to it. But perhaps
there is nothing more in this than just the
natural turning of poetic talent to a sub
ject of universal interest. Many a mute,
inglorious Milton must feel vast powers
rusting unused in him for lack of a theme.
War supplies it, and the burst into song
do just as we'll as war. Here. for example,
is a forthcoming book, Poems on the Late
Mr. Gladstone" BY how many authors
does the innocent reader think this work
composed? Only three hundred. Three
hundred poets already in print with their
clegies on Gladstone. We challenge the adj
vocates of war as the great quickener Of
letters to rival that. 1t shows that Sh'k-
speale was right, against all our latter-day
theorists when he said that peace was the
great breeder of ballad makers.