The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1898-02-12
WAS A GizzARD.
The YSanG AAstsnisrs ODi1iSa 81
The NArmffarM Anae1Air.

tAe NeFMlI0EA Ak2eAolLs
Relief is at hand. The reign of the
deadly appendicitis terror is nearing an
end. According to . theory pro-
pounded 10 me yesterday, the vermi-
form oppendsx is rapidly disappearing
from the human anatomy, and the next
generation may be able to swallow any
thing from a peach kernel to muz-
tard seed without fear of consequences.
Learned doctors may disagree with
this theory, but my informant asGures
me that he has made g. study of the mat
ter and knows what he's talking about;
he has read a number of medical books,
knows something of the DaEwinian
idea and likes to think that he thinks.
whoever heard of appendicitis until
quite recently?" began the sayaat.
why. nobody. The general belief that
it IS an old disease with q new name Is
all tonlmyrot-I mean, IL not supported
by logic. It Is a new HseaSe, and St win
probably never be known by another
generation. The time is coming when
no one will have an appendix; so. OF
course, no one will be troubled with ap-
pendicitis.
MY theory is as simple as can be"
continued the anatomist. "and when
you hear it you'll agree with me. All
things are simple whep once they are
proven.
what We now call the Vermiform ap-
pendix was originally q digestive or
gan, or large gszzsrd. The primeVsl
man. as the result of incomplete esolu-
ton, was a great eater. and by no means
careful OF his diet. Moreover. his food
was of the coarsest nature, the appen
dix or gizzard helping in the digestion
or assimilation OF food. As man pro-
gresse1 and became more refined in
his habits, naturally the uses for which
the appendix (or gizzsIdl was intend
cd beca me less and less Important The
other organs of digestion finally be
came all sufficient for general purposes.
and the appendix (or gizzsrd) was
thrown out OF employment. Degenera-
ton then set in from disuse and the
sizzsrd dwindled into what was dis
covered few years back 10 he vermi
form appendix"
why was it," / asked, when had
sufficiently recovered from the scien-
titc shower hath, "wiy was it that the
amisble gizzard ultimately became >
menace to peace and happiness?"
THAT also is very simple. 1t fellows
from what l have said already. The
original appendix-which was not an
appendix at all. but gizssrd, as have
stated-was a large organ. capable of
receiving and assimiliating the most
indigestible substances. As the giz-
zard decreased in size, this cavity
Allied in until it has become so small
that a minute substance, such aS Q
grape seed, penetrating the appendix
causes Inflammation and often pro-
vides work for the surgeons aud under
takers"
Il heard OF a man whose grandfather
died of appendicitis" Eentured.
He was probably the victim of an er-
roneous diagnosis" replied the young
man. Then he resumed:
"As l have said, the appendix is rapid
~ disappearing. The necessity for its
creation has disappeared and the ap-
pendix must go. Advancing ciyiliza-
ton Is driving out the appendix just as
the steam Is giving place to electricity.
The human giszard is doomed. Hare
after only Thanksgiving turkeys aud
fried chickens win have sizzardS,"--
Atlanta Journal