The news & observer. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1894-current, 1898-07-17

difficult question to answer, because tn,
conditions which surround American wo
men in various portions of the countr.
would make the answers differ radical
ly.
That which in the South would be con
sidered the widest extravaganza woul,
in New York be accepted as a reasonab biz
expenditure. People who have lived il
isolated positions on their own estates
learned from necessity to do things fo
themselves or taught the people of THEN
households to do them, faute de mieuX
TO be equal to the emergencies isolation
entails one must at least know how t.
work. Therefore. the better class OF
people who still live these quiet lives
have not forgotten the lessons in sew
ing, knitting. etc., taught them by then
notable mothers. Consequently they
spend less on dress~makers, milliner<
and embroiderers than the city dwellerS
do. In most country families the young
ladies of the house make the most of
their frocks themselves, with the heir
of the servants.
The generality of them can trim bon
nets also. or mt least remodel their last
years hats. In this way | should say
the country women spend less than those
more simple. too. and as they travel less
in foreign countries than their richer
sisters. their manner of entertaining
their guests from one year to another
varies less. and necessarily the cost IS
diminished. My experience is that the
scale of expense bears more relation to
the general standard of living rather
than to the famiy's individual eXcheq-
uer.
Nor is the woman of the family alone
to blame when the expenditure eX-
ceeds the income of the family. In
many cases d false pride in social promi-
hence dominates the men of the house
hold as well: still more often business
men. fearing injury to their credit, insist
upon their wives keeping up a brave
show before society. although in the
privacy of home sordid. grinding econo-
mics may crush the self-respect of the
woman and impair the happiness of the
household.
THE TRAGEDY OF ENTRUSTED
WIVES.
There is still third, and, am sorry
to say, Il numerous class, who forget
that trust breeds honor and responsible
ty fosters foresight. These men, having
trusted their honor to their wives and
chosen them for mothers TO their child
rem. yet consider their character too
volatile and their Self-reStraint too weak
for the conservation of money. 1t is n
curious circumstance that so many men
should be blind to the pride which wo-
men take in the business condolences
their husbands make to them. and that
shrewd spectators should fail to seize
upon the simple means of enliSting the
hearty cooperation of their wives in re-
trenchments necessary to family's pros
porous existence. 1t is very poor wo-
man indeed who will not gladly re-
nounce the luxuries that she loves for
the man whom she loves better if he has
honestly told her the need of saving.
but almost any high-spirited woman.
hating avarice as most women do. will
kick against the pricks if she be asked
to give up her pet fancies without
rhyme or reason. simply because her
husband wishes to save" She natur-
ally wonders why she must go in old
clothes or put down her carriage, Will.
he continues to keep up his club and
smoke expensive cigars.
1t is this lack of plain dealing and
true partnership that causes the accusa-
ton of extravaganza and parsimony to be
so often banded. A man once told me
he should never tell his wife the
amount of his income. no matter how
much confidence he felt in her. For"
said he, "she would set the pace of her
expenditure to the full amount of it, so
that l could save nothing"
1t would have been better had his pru
dence extended step further and had
he said: II will marry no woman to
whom / cannot confide my material in
terests as well as my hearts DESIRE
The ideal of comfort has now reached
such a degree that unless woman can
satisfy it's demands she cannot mingle
with the society that conforms to IT.:
therefore it is not wonderful that an am
bilious woman will strain n point to
keep ND appearances and prevent herself
from sinking out of sight, consequently
the cry of the oyer-Worked husband IS
raised against the social aSpirdnt.
A woman needs great moral courage
and independence to lower the style of
her entertainments below that of her
friends who have invited her to partake
of their hospitality. Indeed, there seems
to be an obligation to receive our friends
in the manner most pleasant to them.
Once upon a time tea, as it is now
called, a reception as it was called in my
day, was Il gathering of invited friends
to talk together and partake of some
light refreshment. Now the guests ex-
pect to be "entertained' by professionals.
who do something in which they excel
instrumental and vocal music. recta-
tions. dancing, characterizations. etc.
These people have made their accom-
plishments their life work and expect to
be paid according to their proficiency.
and sometimes the honorarium they re-
Guire exceeds the cost of the feast. The
question which the mistress of the house
asks herself is: "Shall ] give up trying
to pay my social debts. shall / cease to
contract them by accepting invitations or
shall / give one rout regardless of how
many my rooms will hold comfortably,
and get the best talent that money can
command to entertain the guests"
The woman who has to meet this con-
dition of affairs with n slender purse
is truly to be pitied, and | cannot find
it i'm my heart to call her extravagant
when she yields to the temptation a $ did
good old Mrs. Primrose in order to hold
her head up among her neighbors.
To most women. especially in the