The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1898-02-06
oToRlrs IN CONGRESS.
,,,.cH AMUSEMENT TO DEBATE IN
HOUSE AND SENATE.

,t One speech without Recalling
.,Jcnts to Illustrate His ArGu-
"Reminiscences of the Tariff
,d civil Service.
,,.,sbineton. Feb. 5.-Gen. Joseph R.
WAX. If Connecticut told the first story
,abate in the Senate chamber in the
tifrv-ffth Congress. II was aheht clYh
,a He said that while he was chair
sdN'f The senate committee on reform
IL oiviI service a distinguished engi-
II officer took charge of an improve
-, in a harbor on the Connecticut shore.
llel engineer wanted an able inspector. A
Zen came to him and said: Now,
Ct,I here's the man for you. For
1ty-fve years he had been captain OF
steamer running from TINS haroor TO
s.. york. He is exactly what you want,
80. he knows every sand bank ana roch
A. ,ha harbor" The Colonel replied: u
N be greatly delighted to take him,
know something about him, but the
Cti Service Commission have sent me a
,,oIrnaster from Rhode Island.
ON the same DAY Senator Lodge told Il
,,,, Of Iabouchere. Labby was attack
- in the House of Commons for retailing
a sfory that was neither new nor true. Il
- he said that what had been state
NOD him very much. He did not mir I'd
ih. i,npugnment OF his veracity, but WI Ell
srvbodv said his stories were not new il
T5r, his feeling, because, while I hey
NIGHT not be true, he was sure they 0ert.
now. as he made them all himself.
There were many good stories to- a on
,bc door of the House in the tariff ebate
Gohn +. Kelley of South Dakota said
t1ai the periodical doses of tariff T emind-
ed MIN of an old quack doctor. Tho quack
visited a patient who was very 81 ok and
sdministered water Cruel and J bleeding.
IIc came back the next day, and ound the
natent worse. He said that the best.
treatment was 10 give him M IRE waters
cruel and he bled him again. The mex.
dav he came and repeated The dose. The
fourth day the patient def ad The doc
tor said il was a great shame that he did
uot get there in time to give him another
does of water cruel and to - ICED him.
Thetus w Sims of Tenne see grew IA
ccous in his speech. He aid that soon
after his arrival in Congre ass he was in
troduced TO the speaker OF the House. He
told MIR Reed that as the Tennessee
river ran through his q lstrict he would
ike TO go upon the com inittee on rivers
and harbOrs. Mr.. Reed with great gray
ity turned to him and 9 irawled out, How
big a steal do you wan ~
TaIbert7s Three keminiscences
Congressman w. Jasper Talbert of
South Carolina turned tout three good rem
inisCences in mis- spec tches. The first oc-
CURED in a church, Where the pastor was
discoursing about he major and minor
prophets. He desc bnted upon the grand
qualities of the m; ljor prophets so long
that many of the congregation went to
sleep. Among the h was a good old dea-
con, in the an ben corner Having fin
shed with the maj or prophets the pastor
said that he woul h take up the minor
prophets. Now, I brethren" said he
there's the prophet Hosea. We will take
him up and discuss him. Where shall we
put Hosea?" Just then the good old dea-
aWoke, and peplied, Here, pastur
Hosea can take my seat I'm tired and
worn out, and I'm gwine home
Taiberts second story was concerning
an lrshman and fish trap. The Irish
man put the trap in to the stream 1t was
open at both ends, iand he had left out the
partition i'm the mil Idle. When some one
asked hm why he had both ends wide
Open he replied, "I)iVil of one of them can
sel away. l wan t 90 ketch them a-goin'
and a-comin'.'
His third story was in discussion of the
financial situatofl Mr.. Talbert illustrated
the treatment 81 the farmers by saying
that 1t reminded him of the first load of
corn little Jobrme took to the mill. The
miller took the sack of grain and toted it
INTO the mill. He next seized the toll
dlsh' ana taxing little corn from the bag
put II INTO this box and taking a little
more out put it into that box. Little
Johnny looked at the miller in astonish-
ment. He thought he stealing his
lathers corn. Finally the miller raised
me sack and emptied it into the hopper.
Wheh he threw the sack on the floor little
Jointly grabbed it up and ran off home
IKE deer. The miller followed, but
could not catch up with him He had to
go pack TO see about the corn in the hop
!oe'. Little Johnny ran so fast that he
lea breathless upon the piazza His faith
Hf asked, What's the matter, johnny
tNd johnny replied, 'Well, dad that old
''oh OF gun of miller has taken every
gram of your corn and he gave me a he'll
81 chase for the sack"
senator William E. Mason OF Illinois, in
- speech on Cuba, told new story about
resident Lincoln. He said that Lincoln
was drlVing along the road one day, when
i'e suddenly stopped the buggy. He saw
a beetle upon its back at the roadside
''Iuggllng vainly to regain its feet. Lin
com got out of the carriage and turned the
''us over. As he re-entered the buggy ne
'a'd, ell feel better. have done a
,Sood act have given that bug equal
''No" with all the other bugs on the earth. y
Wills and the ProhibitiOnist.
senator Roger O. Mills of Texas rarely
uTes stories in discussion but he produc-
good one in the tariff debate. 1t was
Ieilaiscence of the prohibition cam
i'ISu m Texas Mills was an anti-prohi-
o,IoHls' An old friend met him one day
",u sad; Il am very much astonished
vi" 10 ma you going around over this
toI"Ify defending the saloo MS" To which
u'' Senator replied: Your establishment
a uVJ greater than mirle You have
LUX ten times more whisky than / ever
1" ID lifetime. and you are a prohibit
n'OsL Yes, sir" was the reply, u
n'u prohibitionist, but l. do not expect
CONDITION TO keep me from drinking
co' "SAy' get my whisky in Robinson
h'u'sy' tennessee and expect to drink
an ons as | live" Senator Mills then
,4GgUtI' Why is it, then, that you want
o'Holtion?' mot for myself" the pro
guonist responded. '.but for Irishmer
1'o tine cussed negroes
sentative Rom,ilus u. Lnney .
If carolina, in his speech on the tar
g., olV me story of Esop the author o
rabies" Ills master bought h N
tl ave market at the earnest solici "a
'" 81 his children, who wanted him 70
mate. The first question put Il
was 'of what place are you ma
alvt. am a negro" Esop rep lied
e. ~ did not ilsk that" said the mas
-. wv MhMt Z lncn 1Na1-n Won horn in ?,