The Opelousas courier., 1898-01-01

-
YES, her looks favor her mothers
people," "Indeed?" "Oh, greatly. she
doesn't look a bit like them."-Detroit
Journal.
Yes" said Uncle Jonas, that boy O.
mine allus WIS fond O books. an now
hes oeeom' a page in the ligislatur."-
Philadelphia American.
Quericus-Do you know why this ia
often called q cold world? Cynicus-
10 distinguish it from the next. I SUD.
pose.-New York journal.
Robert-1s Harry fond Of female so
cIety? Rictard-Immoderately. I've
Known him to play whist with thres
w~onen.-Boston Transcript.
Did You read that magazine articls
on The Working Of a Bank?'" "No. Il
1t by an ex-bank president or an e1'
Observation-Disclosures Enquirer.
THE Turks eem to have a mighty
poor opinion Of the Greeks" Yes,
that accounts for them running 'ex
down.'-C.eveland PlatndealeE
Few men have any trouble in meet
ing their creditors" says the Manayunf
Philosopher, "but they do have trou.
Bile in lodging them."-Philadelphia
Record.
He-l must have a kiss forevery ca
mel, dear. She-Scme men would have
bought a whole box instead OF that
measley little paper bag ful..-Detroit
Free Press.
Julia, have you bought a new spring
suit YETI" mo, I'll have to watt until
next month; Dick had to buy q new
spring gun and two new spring fishing
rods this month" ,
He-Just listen how that hen cacklesl
She doesn't know how little one egg
will sell for. She-Perhaps she does
She may be advertising d bargain
Somerville Journal. .
Mrs. Jones-Wake up, John! There's
someone trying to get into the house!
Jones-How do you know? Mrs. Jones
The dog has stopped bowling. Hurry.
JohnENew York Journal ~
Mr.. Crimsonbeak-I don't believe q
man ever stole anything but he lived
to regret 1t. Mrs Characterization
stole my heart once. John. Mr.. Grim
sonbeak-Yes.-Yonkers Statesman.
zoe got the inside track Of his wife
this year" what did he dol" HE
read her q whole lot Of newspaper
stories Of men who had dropped dead
beating carpets. Free Press.
Kerrigan-Phat's good fer a cowld?
Casey-Hov yez got tn proice Nv two
hot whiskies about yez? Kerrigan-Oi
how not. Casey-Will, thin. Kerrigan.
ut wud be a mercy not t tell yez--
Puck.
Walker Farr-I thought your next
tour was to have been through South
Africa. Count d'Ties-It was, but the
company struck. One Of them had
read that an ostrich egg often weighs
a dozen pounds.-Puck.
Amanda f~alighting from her wheel ct
the roadside, where Mortimer awaits
her)-Have I Kept you waiting long.
dear2 Mortimer-Long? Many cycles
have passed since the hour appointed
for our meeting.-Judge.
"You see, it was this way: They
were oil three SO dead In love with her
and all so eligible that to settle the
matter she agreed to marry the one
who should guess the nearest to her
age" "And did she's" Il don't. know.
l know she married the one who guess.
ed the 1owest."-Pearson's Weekly. .
A hereditary liar: Mrs. Jackson
OATS sebenteen lies yo's tole me toe"
day, all difrunt. Yo' am a regular rap
skillion. 'Rastus Jackson-W-whad
am a rapskiIlion, nanny? Mrs. Jack
son-A rapskillion am a young TN dars
got his fadder's blood in him-dats
whad a rapskillion ~am.-Judge. ~,
"You don't mean to tell me you have
gone and got engaged to two women
at oneer" Eyes, but 1t really amounts
to only one engagement-half an en-
gasement for each girl" "Will you
nIp9SH pXDtliU. NAys SCItAAAA5
Each Of 'em Is engaged to another fei-
Iow."-Clncinnati Commercial Tribune.
A yindication: II don't understand
why you dislike Herbert So" said Ma
bel to her father. Il don't think he hal
any ideas Of finance" Il I'm sure you
wrong him. He is devoted to It. he
stopped right In the middle OF his pro
posal to me to ask how your business
was getting ~along."-Washtngton Star.
Mrs. Commensurate tsoberly)-Are
you sure your flaneee will make q good
home-body, ELI? Do you think she
knows anything about mendinss, Tor IN.
stance? Cholly Commonstalk-ADou
mending, mother? Why, that Is hez
yery strongest point I saw her memo
q busted tire once in Just fourteen Mn
utes by the watch.-Bazar.
Mathematician ask for the hand OF
nv daughter. You are O Journalist l
believe. and journalists, l am TOLD, can
scarcely earn their salt. Young Editor
with dignity)-You mistake, sir. am
4 newspaper man. "oh! Keep a news
stana T presume. Good, paying bust.
nessl Take her, my son, Il De nap
ny.n-Eew York Weekly.
cond advice RI