davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The times., 1898-02-27

not usual The usual thing is to say
that one has "a touch of the grip
This is absurd There is no such
thing as a touch of the grip. The grip
does not touch people. it sticks it's
claws into them and picks them up and
swings them around. If man has the
grip he does not talk about having "a
touch" of anything He is gripped, and
he knows it, and there is no possible
room for doubt. He is so miserable
that he would be glad to die if he felt
quite sure where he would go after the
ceremony. Sometimes he is tempted to
think that it would be better to die
anyway. His head aches, his back
aches, and every cubic inch of him
aches, from his bones out. He cannot
breathe, he cannot sleep, he cannot eat
with comfort. He is cold and hot at
the same time, and if you ask him how
that can be, he cannot explain it, but he
knows it is SO. He is a collection of
symptoms of all known diseases for the
time being and it would require pages
of a medical journal to describe all the
sensations that he has in an hour The
experience is interesting, but painful
Some of these things the old-fashioned
cold could do, but not all, The grip
germ, which appeared in this country
some ten years ago, and probably
preyed on us once or twice before under
another name, is a germ of unique and
powerful character. 1t does not visit
us every year, as these self-deluded
n11ienfS II n
did, the American nation would be
much sadder nation than it is. We
only have American humor now, but
with a yearly visit of the grip we
should have no humor at all The
thing which people are having this WIN
ter is simply Il cold.
The times., 1898-02-27
Spud Hooper's Advice.
(From the Atlanta Journal.y

(From the Atlanta Journal
Now young fellers." said the Hon
Spud Hooper in his address at the Pine
Stump Sunday school. when you begin
to sprout a mustache like the fuz on a
green hacker stalk. k.don't git excited an
try TO exhaust the entire cigarette
stock of the earth. Hits a hopeless
job; they will be here after you have
done flung up the sponge anyone out o
the smokin' Dizziness. An don't think.
jest bekase you can blow thoO your
nose an your daddy haz you To feed,
that the Government iz jest eechin' 10
git your pictur' on the postage stamps.
OF course everybody knows you air
about forty degrees sharper than Sol
omon, but the world could manage 10
worry along without you if it had to.
They heZ been great stacks an cords
o. jest sich fellers az you before, an
when they kicked the bucket the sun
didn't bust ner the earth git out %
socket She mout a wobbled a little
but she stuck to her proper place, an l
reckin she Will kontinny to stick thar"
The times., 1898-02-27

In the midst of the difficulties and DAN
gers which beset the President, Mr.. Han
na has religiously refrained from making
himself in any way prominent. He has
been in the position of the professional
horseman driving with an amateur, at a
time when the horse is on the point of
running away; and he has conscientlously
refused to touch the reins. He has been
occupied with other matters The post
office nominations in the State of Ohio
have been giving him a great deal of
trouble, for one thing. MIR. Hanna is of
the opinion that duty, like charity, begins
at home, and if he should allow Mr.. For
aker to get hold of any of his pet districts
while he went off on a tangent and inves-
tgated the Maine episode, his conscience
would be very unquiet indeed. He has
therefore left the Maine disaster to Mr.
Mckinley, TO all appearances, and he him
self has been engaged in keeping the
Ohio postoffices out of reach of the For
aker faction.
The times., 1898-02-27

Something funny happened in London
not long ago There is an Anarchists
Club on Tottenham Court road, and the
members hold lively sessions, and abuse
governments. cook up schemes for the
liberty and fraternity of all humanity ex-
cept the people they do not like, and
have lots of fun generally Sometimes
they devise ways in which 10 use dyna-
mite, but as the dub is not disturbed by
the police, and therefore probably re-
garded as harmless. il may be inferred
that these incendiarS plans are never
carried out. The whole affair appears
to be OF somewhat the same order as the
Robbers Gang of which Huckleberry
Finn a member, which discussed
bloodthirsty plans with the utmost un-
consciousness of the fact that it's eldest
member was about fourteen years old
These anarchists had been having a
meeting enc evening, 5aBd came out of it
burning with enthusiasm. They were
ready to blow up the whole city of Lon
don if they could get enough dynamite.
Then one of the members of the club
saw an object lying on the doorstep. 1t
ject and 1t was in some sort of metal
case. The member had never seen any
thing just like ii before. His eyes grew
round with horror. He whispered some
thing to the other members. Instantly
there was a rush for the street, and not
a member stopped running for several
squares. Dynamite bombs were all right,
but they were not quite ready for them.
And meanwhile the man who had rooms
just above those of the Anarchist Club
came downstairs and picked up the plum
pudding in a tin basin, which he had set
down in order to find his latchtey and
had forgotten to take to his room. This
incident belongs in the same catalogue
with the well-known fact that doctors
seldom take medicine
The times., 1898-02-27

solute in power. over all such railroads,
people in Congress should be aroused
by this suspicious fact to make inquiry
concerning their Interior purpose.
Such action by such men seems inap-
propriate. out of character, unnatural.
1t seems to be, indeed, the action of
gift-bearing Greeks, who appear to be
friendly that they may betray, liberal
that they may plunder. affectionate
that they may destroy.
1t should not be forgotten even for
an instant that at the outset of Fed
eral railroad legislation. friends of the
people like Reagan Of Texas and many
other men of the Populistic stamp,
were bitterly opposed TO a commission.
They feared that men like Depew
would take possession OF it and control
il in the interest of the railway corpora
tions, and this may be the purpose of
the railroad men who are now endeay-
ing to induce Congress to confer upon
the commission authority to make
rates and determine fares and charges.
AT all events, the proposition to con-
fer this dangerous power upon any
body of men should be carefully con-
sidered. for while it may be and in our
opinion is legitimate legislation To pre-
scribe that rates shah be reasonable,
and leave to the courts the question of
determining what, under certain facts,
is not reasona BILE, we agree with the
proposition that to declare in advance
not merely the principle by which the
liking of the rate shall be governed, but
to prescribe the rate itself by referring
il to a fixed standard and then to apply
the rule to the complicated system of
interstate transportation, with all of
its vast ramifications and subtle COM
petitions, is the exercise of q power
which ought to be sparingly and
cautiously used. and most certainly
this power should not under any
circumstances be conferred upon any
body of men irresponsible to the people.
The times., 1898-02-27

A fish story which is very entertaining
comes from Ohio. IT is reported that on
the north shore of Lake Superior there
is a school of fish OF a peculiar species.
The fish are from two to seven feet long,
and have pointed ears, which they can
move back and forth at will; and their
tails are broad and fiat like those of beav-
ers. The other day, it is stated. fish
erman was asleep in a little house built
over hole in the ice, with line tied
around his arm. On the other end of the
line, which extended down into the wa
ter, was a hook. One of these curious
fish came along and took an interest in
the hook. The man was rudely awaken
ed, 10 flrd himself on his back on the
ice. in imminent danger of being pulled
through the hole by the fish. He was un-
able TO rise from the ice. He shouted
for help A friend heard. and came run
ming to his assistance. and between them
they landed the fish, which was found
to have, above stated, pointed ears
and remarkable tail. 1t took five hours
taken his nap at about in the morning.
ana the liSh De1nS SuDJuSalcd at ABOUT
in the afternoon, When the fish was
cooked he was found to be very delicious.
and others Of the same species were sub
sequently captured, ali having pointed
ears and remarkable tails. or course, the
veracity of the correspondent who was
hunting for news on the north shore of
Lake Superior is not questioned, nor is
the judgment of the paper which printed
the story. Probably the correspondent
brought back a stuffed fish, and allowed
the editor to examine the pointed NOV
able ears and the beaverlike tail. But
all the same, one is tempted to wonder
what kind of ears that correspondent
thought the general public had.
The times., 1898-02-27
A SusDicious Fact.

When railroad men like Chauncey NJ.
DepeW-men who believe that the coun-
try should be managed by railroad cor
porations in the interest of railroad cor
porations-become enamored of the In
terstate Commerce Commission and ad-
Vocate the policy Of authorizing that
court Of incompetent jurisdiction to
fix the rates and fares and make classi-
fications Of freights. determine all ter
minal charges, including storage, and
all privileges and facilities which may
be allowed other than those involved in
the receipt, transportation and delivery
of property in ordinary course on the
interstate railroads Of the country;
when men Of this class propose to make
the commission board of control, alb
The times., 1898-02-27
Du BOSp.

Being q remote and provincial peo-
Pile, floating in the wilds Of a western
sea. the truth is that our manners are
are they not written in the book OF
Dapuy de LONE?
1t is with infinite gladness that we
rise TO the present occasion and kiss
the rod which Dupuy de Lome's sur
viving deputy holds over us. From
every point OF view which has been
taken by the Administration from the
4th day of last March. even unto this
present time. the discipline is justified.
Let us consider ii in the spirit Of love
and admiration for Spain and with a
determination ever 10 assist her in. the
pleasant paths of outrage and butchery
perpetrated upon women and young
children in Cuba,
Mr.. Du Bose. charge d'affaires of
Spain in Washington, complains that 1t
is an insult to his kindly and Christian
country TO make any invidious remarks
about the massacre of American sea-
men at Havana, and We entirely agree
with him, if we are To base our con-
ceptions of insult and injury upon in
ternational principles laid down by
Spain.
Who. IN his sober senses, could con-
slider Spanish outrages an affront to
the American flag or nation? To
plant submarine mines under our ships
when visiting Spanish ports is emil
nently proper. To explode them and
hurl hundreds of men to their death
is friendly. But to criticise such ac-
tions is insulting and offensive!
Has our State Department run out of
blank passports? Has it none for
Senor Du Bose?
The times., 1898-02-27
Lenten Advice to Children

(From lIarper'S Bazaar.)
When you meet a girl carrying what
looks to be pair of pretty little scarlet
morocco volumes bound together do not
be too sure that they are prayerbook and
hymnal-even during these Lenten days.
The newest cases for playing cards are of
red morocco, just the shape and size and
clasping of the combined prayerbook and
hymnal, and with nothing of the inside
showing but the demure gilt edges of
the two packs of cards, and all under COW
er of the eminently ecclesiastic scarlet
the illusion is perfect. If one had ever
the desire TO appear pious when in real
ity on pleasure bent. she has here a con-
venient shield ready to her hand, and an
opportunity that no telltale conventional
case for playing cards could ever hope to
bring about. But the chief charm of the
new case is its ability to lay bare the
gullibility of the average human being
Not one In ten of those who see the little
red morocco hypocrisy for the first time
but takes it TO be the real thing.
The times., 1898-02-27
Information Wanted.

(From the Chicago Trbune)
and now said the lecturer, at the
close of a discourse on theosophy, to
which his audience had listened with the
deepest attention, lin accordance with
my usual custom l shall extend to any
person present who cares to do so the
opportunity to ask. whatever question may
be in his mind. ] wish 10 leave no point
obscured if it is in my power to make it
clear
There's one thing Eve always wanted
to know said an earnest looking man
in the audience. rising as he spoke. i've
asked a great many men, and none of
them could ever tell me. Why is it that
you always find d picture of goat on
book beer sign?'' =
The times., 1898-02-27

The New York Journal made one point
a day or two ago which is extremely
good, and contains truth which should
be taken to heart by all earnest and con-
scientious newspapers. 1t said that the
newspapers which made the liveliest re-
marks about sensationalism in connection
with the Maine massacre had a WAY of
branding news as sensational when first
published, and afterward printing it as
truth. cit appears, therefore" said the
Journal, ''that sensation when two
days old ceases to be sensa
ton This is an important jour
nalistic discovery. 1t may be inferred
from this that in their zeal TO avoid
The times., 1898-02-27
A New Game

(From the Cleveland Plain Dealer)
Her young man was sitting in silent
state in the reception room. To him en-
tered her little brother.
Mr.. Lilypad' said the little brother,
won't you come out and sit with me in
the dining room?"
Mr.. Lilypad came out.
A moment later there was a tremendous
bang under his chair. and Mr.. Lilypad.
with a wild snort, leaped into the air.
George roared his father from the
library. what in thunder are you up to
now?"
Just playing Spaniard. pa. said
George as he swept up the fragments of
the cannon cracker.
The times., 1898-02-27

In official and Congressional circles
there is great deal of curiosity as TO
what course the President will take when
the time for action arrives. The more
the possible indemnity demand is dis
cussed. the less 1t is liked. No amount of
damage could pay America for the be-
trayal and cowardiy murder of her gal
liant sons on board of the Maine. Ger
tainly we must make demand of some
kind by way of introducing the subject
with grace and dignity. Probably the
shortest cut would be 10 denounce the
treaehery of Spain and TO simply demand
the instant evacuation of Cuba by Span
ish troops. To secure political indepen-
dence for the Cubans al this time would
be more fitting memorial to the dead
than any that could be erected by hands,
or paid for with Spanish doubloons. 1t is
almost an insult TO our slaughtered blue
Jackets to measure their suffering and
frightful death in money. Even a con-
servative paper. and one friendly to Spain,
like the London Spectator. advises Mr.. Nc
linley TO order the Spanish troops out of
Cuba as a simple measure of common
humanity long and amply justified by
hideous facts. There can be no doubt
that the civilized opinion of Europe will
be with us in putting end to the Cuban
war
The times., 1898-02-27
The Grin.

Ii is time people in general stopped
talking about having the grip when
ever they look detected and miserable
ON eccount of change in the weather
and their friends ask them what is the
matter. For the last few years it seems
as if colds had gone out of fashion. The
thing that was once cold is now on
any and every occasion dubbed "the
grip" Sometimes person with more
ambition than education goes so far as
to call it the la grippe" but that is
The times., 1898-02-27
A Regiment of Cowboys

Nrom the Chicago Chronice.)
Sioux Falls, s. D.. Feb. 2i.-Col. Sheafe.
the officer commanding the State militia,
is recruiting a regiment of cowboys for
service against Spain.
Col Sheafe said tonight that these men
are the toughest on earth. They are in
ured to hardships. have fought Indians,
and he believes that if they are turned
loose on the Spaniards in Cuba they can
whip them in a very short time.
The times., 1898-02-27
Miss Willard.
From the Chicago News.

(From the Chicago News.)
OF all the tributes paid Frances E. Will
lard during her gentle life, none was
greater than that Of thousands of SYM
pathetic women who braved the storm
for hours standing in line at the Tenn
pie yesterday Miss Willard has passed
on, but affectionate and appreciative re-
membrance of her is rooted in endurance
compared with which the Temple is as
a house of cards.
The times., 1898-02-27

Mr.. Gladstone is reported to have said
that 500, 600 600 was too dangerous pow
er for any one man to have, and that the
American Government ought 10 seize the
owner thereof and take control of his
money. Has Mr. Gladstone been able to
impress this advice on England?
The times., 1898-02-27
The Boy of the Period

tFrom the Detroit Free Prcss,)
You're an hour late this morning
sternly said the head OF the firm to the
new Office boy,
Don't throw fit, now retorted young
America. I'll kin come an hour earlier to-
morrer mornin' an make even, can't I?''
The times., 1898-02-27

sensationalism-Whic always be
avoided-some Of the New York and
Washington papers have been avoiding
news. This is going too far, 1t is time
to assure these over-conscientious papers
that when piece ofsaews is twoFdays o'd
it is perfectly safe % print it. Some of
them have been waiting in doubt and
anxiety as much as week
The times., 1898-02-27

An Alabama Congressman declared not
long ago that when man sat down to a
$15-a-plate dinner he ate a pair of mules.
This Congressman is now asked to con-
template the s1OO-a-plate dinner given to
Mr. Griggs, and shudder.
The times., 1898-02-27
The Presidents Sunday

1t is painful to have to say it, but
there is Spanish newspaper in Madrid
which does not seem to appreciate
President Mckinley. The impartial,
which is q lively sheet of a semi official
nature. accuses this nation of hypoc-
risy, and declares that while the Presi-
dent Of the United States is cajolins
Spain with words he sharpens his dag
ger to stab her behind. While talking
concord the impartial goes on to say,
he utilizes his Sundays in unusual war
preparations at the docks"
This Spanish newspaper has been
misinformed. President Mckinley may
be sharpening daggers. but if there is
one thing he has been most careful to
do ever since he came into the White
House it is to keep Sunday. On that
day he is always to be seen at church
at least once, and his office is never
open for business. He never travels on
Sunday, or gives Sunday dinners. and
if the editor of the impartial will ask
Senior De Lone, and that gentleman
sees fit TO tell the truth, he Will give
evidence to this effect. Everybody in
Washington knows the Presidents
views concerning Sunday. He would
not think OF using his Sundays for war
preparations usual or unusual.
The President may occasionally go to
the theater in spite of the warnings of
his pastor; he may not see fit to accede
to the demands Of temperance societies
that he Danish wines from his official
table; but when it comes TO keeping
Sunday, no flaw can be found in his
conduct. That commandment. so frag
lie and so easily cracked, not TO say
broken. is perfectly safe in the hands Of
Mr. Mckinley
The times., 1898-02-27

The latest discovery of a Brooklyn pa
per is that the Spanish could not possi-
bly, have had apy Submarine mines in
Havana harbor, because if one had ex-
ploded it would havd destroyed Havana.
This is very like Brooklyn.
The times., 1898-02-27
A Patriotic ProDositiOn.

(From the Birmingham Age-H Herald.)
Senator Morgan's resolution to build a
monster war vessel TO be named the
George Washington, which passed the
Senate on Tuesday meets with the ap-
proval of all classes of patriotic Ameri-
The times., 1898-02-27
A Poser for the Trusts.

From the Des Moines News.)
II wonder quoth one president of a
trust to another, 81 wonder where the
people get all the money we take from
them
The times., 1898-02-27
CAPITOL GOSSIP.

Secretary Sherman, for the first time
since the Cuban situation became 50
critical, visited the Capitol yesterday. He
devoted a portion of his time to the Sen
ate, where he was warmly welcomed by
many. and then went over TO the House
side and occupied a seat beside his vener-
able friend, Galusha 4. Grow, of Pennsyl-
vania. The two old graybeards cracked
Jokes together like schoolboys. and the
Secretary evidently hugely enjoyed his
visit. He was greeted with extreme cor
diality by all of the Republican and some
of the Democratic members. He remain
ed in the House for nearly an hour and
then took his departure.
The times., 1898-02-27
A Dangerous Avocation

CFrom the Chicago Journal.)
It's about all an actors salary Is worth
these days to play Spanish guitar in
vaudeville theater.
The times., 1898-02-27

Mr. Benton McMillin. the popular men,
Der and Democratic leader of the House.
made his appearance there yesterday for
the first time in several weeks. He look
ed we'll and was evidently much pleased
with the hearty welcome he received,
which at one time, in the lobby. and again
the corridor amounted almost to a levee.
If he felt disappointment in failing to
secure d Senatorial seat, he did not show
it, and he remarked to a Times reporter
that he would long ago nave been back
to his work had not his wife been very
i'll.
For a week ] shall busy myself with
my correspondence" he said. for / have
in the neighborhood of a thousand letters
To answer, many of which are matters of
Importance"
The times., 1898-02-27

Judge Linney. OF North Carolina yester-
day made an earnest appeal in the Com
mittee of the Whole for an appropriation
for the erection of Federal courthouse
at Winston. n. c. So effective was his
speech that when he concluded Mr.. Can
non of Illinois. who had objected TO every
proposition of this character that had
been made during the day made no pro-
test whatever against the amendment,
being apparently lost in thought. The
amendment was about to be put by the
chairman, when Mr.. Cannon IS thoughts
returned to the House. and. with the
agility of an acrobat, he spranS to his
feet and made the fatal point of order
that the amendment was new legislation.
and then, turning to Judge Linney, said:
Thou almost persuadest me"
Amusement at hearing Mr.. Cannon
quote Scripture kept the members spell
bound for a moment, and then they broke
out into applause. each seeming to real
ize that there is still some hope for the
chairman of the Appropriations Commit
The times., 1898-02-27
A Summer Outing.

(From the indianapolis Sentinel)
There is no falling off in the popularity
of the trip to the klondike.