The herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1893-1900, 1898-08-21
"To this nights masquerade" quoth he.


"By pleasure am beckoned;
And think 'twould be pleasant trick
To go as Charles the Second
Tom felt for repartee athirst,
And thus to Richard said:
YOU'D better go as Charles the First,
For that requires no head"
The same author responds to our encore
with these lines:
To Flavia's shrine two suitors run
And WOO the fair at once;
A needy fortune hunter one,
And one wealthy Ounce.
How, thus twin-courted. she'll behave
Depends upon this rule
If she's fool she'll wed the knave,
And if a knave the fool.
1.-The prospects always fine in the pros
pectus!" is the epigrammatic reflection of
]. r. blanche.
! Mortimer Collins is droll at the expense of
Charles Darwin in the following:
| There was an Ape in the days that were
earlier;
Centuries passed, and his hair became
curlier;
| Centuries more gave thumb to his wrist
Then he was a man and positivist.
| beautiful woman, who wore on her
bosom a miniature of her husband, a very
ugly man, asked Thomas Moore, the irish
| poet what he thought of it, II think
! said he that it is like the Saracen's Head
on Snow HILL"
| Lord Brougham defined lawyer as "a
| legal gentleman who rescues your estate
| from your enemies and keeps it himself"
Hicks and Thackeray, walking together
stopped opposite doorway over which was
| inscribed in gold letters these words NIL
tual Loan Office" They both seemed equal.
| ly puzzled. "What on earth can that
mean?" asked Hicks. II don't know" an.
swered Thackeray, "unless it means that
two men, who have nothing, agree to lend
| Il to another"
| One would almost as soon expect to see
Thomas Carlyle at Cremorne Gardens as
| DIR. johnson among the epigrammists, yet
the ponderous photographer penned this
pretty trifie:
F.! II man who turnip cries.
Cry not when his father dies.
| IT'S proof that he would rather
Have a turnp than a father.
| Stay! DIR. Johnson was, after all, not
wanting in the Wis comica. When he had
| finished the work which laid the foundation
of most English dictionaries, he asked the
man who had carried the last sheet to Mil
lar, the publisher, "What did he say
Sir" said the messenger, "he SAID Thank
| God, have done with hint" And Ursa
Major, in his grandest style, replied: II am
glad he thanks God for anything"
The mention of dictionaries recalls a
"Reminiscences of one of Fl. j. Byron's plays
The point lies between a play upon words
of mi rix,
names are mentioned in it, both so good tina
| the one compliments the other, like two
harmonious colors on a painters palette
The heroine of the comedy is bright Amer
| lean girl, full of fun and patriotism. Prais-
ing her own country at the expense of the
hero Cher lover, by the way), she tells him
| that America has had even to undertake the
task of teaching England how to spell
apropos OF which she triumphantly de-
mands: what do you say to Webster?'
"Walker!" replies the Englishman.
| The welded state is favorite subject
| with epgram makers. From a very old
ballad we take this:
There was a criminal In a cart
A-going to be hanged;
Respite to him was granted
And cart and crowd did stand,
10 know IL he would marry wife
Or rather choose to die;
"'Tother's the worst-drive on the cart!'
The criminal did reply.
More modern is this verse:
I would advise a man to pause
Before he takes wife:
In fact. see no earthly cause
He should not pause for life.
Who. by the way, is the author who de-
scribes second marriage as being 1.-The
triumph of hope over experience?
Samuel Lovers matrimonial epigram Is
very opposite:
Though matches are all made In heaven,
they say,
Yet Hymen (who mischief oft hatches)
Sometimes deals with the house tother
side Of the way,
And there they make Lucifer matches.
Marriage" says Selden, lis desperate
thing. The frogs In Aesop were extremely
wise; they had great mind to some water,
but they would not leap into the yell, be-
cause they could NOT get out again