davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1898-10-19
Herr "Cnderwear."

A young German engineer whose
name is Herr ''X.' Won der Vera had
an amusing incident happen to him on
a recent ocean voyage which will bear
repeating and which he narrates him
self with relish. On the steamer were
several English ladies who were devot-
ed to whist and who frequently called
upon Herr K. to join them in a friendly
rubber. The young man does not care
particularly for the game; but, as the
ladies in question had several charming
girls under their wings, policy as we'll
as politeness babe him join in the daily
games. The young man suffered from
severe cold, and, in order to protect
himself from the drafts, took occasion
to wear couple of heavy bicycle sweat
ers in addition to mis- ordinary clothing.
The ladies sympathized and frequent
" spoke to Herr K. "fundervear, as
they pronounced it, about his precau-
tions against additional cold. He was
not particularly well versed in English,
and the pronunciation OF his name puz-
zIed him very much-in fact, he
thought they we're referring to his
sweaters, so finally he blurted out:
ssLadies, why do you call me Mr.. I'm
derwear? Is it because Of these sweat
ers?'' The reply was lost to posterity in
the roar of laughter which caused the
windows of the saloon to rattle. Phi
adelphia Record
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1898-10-19
Gladstone and Moses.

A espondent Of The British
Weekly tells the following story rela-
tive to Mr.. Gladstone: 81 was driving
one autumn evening in conveyance
which in those days used to run from
Lamlash to Kings Cross (lsland OF
Arran) when for any reason the late
boat did not go round to Whiting bay.
Sitting opposite me were two men who
appeared to belong to the Paisley weav-
er class, and true to the traditions OF
that class they were busily discussing
politics Presently one Of them said,
with much emphasis, There hasna been
a lawgiver equal to Mr. Gladstone since
the days O. Moses. 'Moses!' retorted
the other. Moses got the law glen tae
him frae the Lord, but Mr.. Gladstone
maks laws oot O. his ain head 7 Z"
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1898-10-19
Good, but Not Intended.

Now and then man gets OF good
thing and does not know it. An in
stance is noted by Sir NJ Grant Duff in
his DIARY
We began to talk about the fog. "It
was so bad said, ga week or two
ago that hear Farrar preached against
it at St. Margaret's. !"
"I5 was at that church, /" my friend
answered, "that clergyman, denounc-
ing Mr.. Tooth, the rituaiist, said, I
will not name him, but his name is IN
everybody's mouth. Then, seeing the
smiles on the faces Of his congregation,
he turned scarlet. %
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1898-10-19
Altama or AltamahaS

There can, suppose, be no doubt
that in the lines in "The Deserted VII
lage''-
To distant cEmes. dreary scene,
Where half the convex world intrudes between
Through torrid tracts with fainting steps theS
go
Where wild Altama murmurs to their woe
Goldsmith is alluding to the River Al
tamaha in Georgia, the colonization OF
which had taken place not long before.
But his expressions are not very accu-
rate. So far from being torrid IN the
strict sense of the word, the latitude OF
the mouth of the Altamaha is more
than 81 degrees No part indeed OF the
present United States is located within
tho tropics. But, besides this, although
there are certainly rattlesnakes and,
believe, scorpions Of certain species IN
Georgia, there are no tigers there to
wait their hapless prey, )" which the
poet reckons among the horrors OF the
region where some of the inhabitants OF
Auburn have gone.-Notes and Queries
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1898-10-19
Entersair,ing the Copper.

It was bitter cold night, an6 g
night policeman in Lombard street no.
ticed light in the bank window, and,
going to the door, raped.
"Is that you, policeman" asked q
voice from within.
eyes, % was the reply.
"Come in and have drink, said
the voice.
The policeman stepped inside and en-
countered a dapper little fellow sitting
at desk.
GIVE been detained tonight straight
ening up accounts.
The policeman warmed himself az
the rousing fire that blazed on the
hearth and went cut again on his beat.
An hour after the policeman came that
way and, still seeing the light through
the window, raped again.
"1s that you, policeman"
eyes. -
"Come in and warm yourself. :"
The policeman accepted the invita-
tion.
"It's bowling cold night, " said the
clerk.
"You're right, sir, said the police
man.
So he got another drink and returned
to his beat. He was rather surprised
next Gay to find that his friend Of the
night before had got off with some $780,
900 of the banks funds s--London Sue
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1898-10-19
The Kaiser's Latest.

The German emperor has devised
new scheme for the encouragement Of
vocal music in the German empire 1t
wiz be put into operation in 1899, and
it consists Of singing competition to
be held in different town every year.
Cassel has been selected for the first
competition, the chief condition Of
which is that each choir taking part
will receive an unpublished musical
composition about an hour before the
contest takes place. There will be no
accompaniment.
The kaiser's prize is a valuable jewel,
and the president of the nning choir
will be allowed to wear for year,
the name of each singer 6 engraved
upon it.
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1898-10-19
Opa1s.

An exquisite gem is the opal, its
beautiful creamy surface lit with red,
blue and yellow rays scintillating in the
light and giving it place in the front
rank of precious stones. Unfortunately
the opal has bad name. and we know
the proverb about the dog with the un-
lucky cognomen. Superstition credits
this beautiful stone with bringing mis-
fortune to it's owner. and superstition
will win its way so long as the world
lasts. The opal is peculiarly brittle and
sometimes crumbles away without any
apparent cause, therefore it has been
branded "unlucky" But let those
laugh who win, there are still some
who value opals for their worth and
beauty and who can afford to make
merry at the superstitious- The opal ID
the type of hope.-Chicago News.
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1898-10-19
DlsGUsTED FISHERMEN.
It Made Them Ill to See al Old T..s77s.1
Angler Catch Trout.


One day a Boston party, on fishing
trip to Moosehead, came across one Ct
the old school fishermen. He was up of
the mouth Of Tomhegan stream and
was fishing out of lumberman's bat
teau. 1t developed later that he was the
cook for crew of river drivers. On the
bank near as hand stood the cookee, Or
his helper. The cook had thrown about
a peck of tale refuse into the lake in
order to 'tole'' the fish, and over that
lure he was having great luck. His pole
was of the jib boom variety, and when
a fish bit he would derrick it over his
head into the. bushes where the cookee
was stationed.
The Boston men from their canoes
watched operations with all the disgust
of the true sportsmen.
"Got enough for supper yet?' shout
ed the fisherman over his shoulder as
he set another great trout famping into
the bushes
"No; better catch six or eight more, %
shrilled back the cookee.
"Say, how many fish do you two fell
lows usually eat for SUPERB shouted a
Boston man who didn't understand the
situation.
"When you've cooked for 20 river
drivers as long as I have, - yelled the
cook, derricking another fish, you'll
know more about empty nail kegs"
Hardly was this enigmatic utterance
out when there came tug at his line
that was nothing short Of tremendous.
he twirched. The fish didn't come. He
braced, set his jaws and pried His line
only sawed the kissing water.
''Play him! Play himp' screamed
the excited sportsmen from the city.
''Play your grandmother beloved
the cook ct amt here to play. I'm
here to fish," And as he spoke he boost
ed over his head a Is pound laker. Any
man in the Boston crowd would have
given $40 to have played him an hour
at the end of an eight ounce rod. twas
too much for their nerves. They came
away.-Lewiston Journal
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1898-10-19

According to a book called ''La Cues
tion of Puerto Rico" published in
Spain, the density Of population is ex-
traordinarv, with about l, IA inhabit-
ants to every square league, while in
Cuba it is only S76. Twenty years ago
the number Of individual land proprie-
tors was over $4,000, while in Cuba at
the same time, with double the popula-
ton, they did not exceed half that num-
Der. This subject has portentous as
pect just at present, when so many
Americans doubtless cherish the hope
OF acquiring some holding or other in
o1lr new tropical possession.
In other West Indian islands, notably
the British, there are large tracts Of
coffee and cacao lands, as we'll as aban-
doned estates, which go under the name
Of crown lands, and may be obtained at
a low price per acre, but in Porto Rico,
it is believed, the Spanish government
had but little of that sort. Even if there
are any, the retiring Spanish officials
will lose no time in having them trans
ferred to individual ownership before the
United States government can bring
them within its jurisdiction. Most Of the
so called crown lands were seized in de-
fault of payment Of taxes and distribut-
ed among the favorites Of the admins.
traticn. That is the Spanish xay.
A native Of the island and an author
ity reports that large tracts of sugar
lands can be obtained, especially in the
eastern districts of Guayama, Humacao
and Fajardo, on account of the low price
of sugar. These lands command from
$3.50 to $500 per acre and are capable Of
raising four tons of sugar to the acre
che first year, 25 per cent less the sec
ond, etc., without fertilizing. Coffee
plantations command at least $500 per
acre, but wild lands suitable for that
culture can be had at 800 an acre.
A line of steamers has piled between
New York and the island for many
years, and it is to be augmented soon in
anticipation Of an extensive passenger
traffic while probably tn projected
railroads will be finished d taas the
beauties and the boanti;> q Porto Ric'
will be made ACCESSIBLE All tnsi:';;: :,
TO visit our latsst"euu>i y ! :, o1!@2 (.
Waters. F:;f..:t....,h ~ y. O..l.-i.
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1898-10-19

in the island. Twelve miles west of it
is Salinas, on coed but small harbor,
and Eve miles east the port Of Arroyo,
which, though founded so recently as
1885, already hasa large export trade
with the United States Near the port
are the wonderful caves Of Aguas Bu-
enas, which run under the river of Ca
euiras and are over l, 200 feet in extent.
The chief town of the east coast is
Humacao, on the river of that name.
with about 6, 600 Inhabitants, founded
in 1898. Ten miles south Of it lies Va
bucoa, with 4, 600 people, half the NUM-
ber, as in the case Of nearly all the
towns and smaller cities being black
or colored. Ten miles northeast of Hu-
macao is the town cf Nasuabo, with
1000 people, said to be near the site
where Columbus first landed in Porto
Rico, and 16 miles distant is Fajardo.
in the extreme northeast-cs the island,
about two miles. from ies handsome
port, which has a,third class light. All
the places en- the east coast have har'
bors or roadsteads at their playas with
depth of water from 10 to % feet.
Of the coast, east, lies the most i'm
portant of the subsidiary isles which
come TO Us with the large one, that OF
Vieques, 13 miles distant and 81 miles
long hy 6swide. T. is fertile and well
timbe,ed isle, with forests of cabinet
woods, sugar plantations and pastures
for vast herds of cattle. North of it lies
Culebra, or Snake island; off the south
coast, not far from Ponce, the Dead
Mans Chest, and in the channel be-
tween Porto Rico and Santo Domingo,
Mona island-none of them as fertile as
Vieques or at present Of much account.
In the east and southeast are great,
pasture lands, where herds of cattle are
reared which form an importansti item
of export. AL kinds of domestic fowl,
ducks, geese, turkeys, ETC., find here a
congenial home. in which they multiply
with astonishing rapidity.
The Inhabitants of Porto Rico, ac-
cording to the latest statistics, number
about S13, 600, over 300,000 Of whom
are black or colored, and the majority
Of them very much mixed indeed All
speak Spanish, are governed by Spanish
laws, and have Spanish habitudes; but
there are not only descendants Of Span
iards here, but men and women with
Jewish, Indian, African and Moorlsh
blood in their veins. All writers agree,
however, that they are tractable and
.docile people, indoient, delicately Or
ganized, vivacious, apt to kiss or en-
brace a man they like, where the Amer
lean would merely shake his hand.
The ladies are, like all Spanish Amer
ican :. .SSoncellas, . attractive and pleas
ing, graceful in department. and elegant
of bearing, loving as sisters, faithful as
wives, sweet and amiable as sweet.
hearts and daughters. - These are those
of the cities and towns In the country,
owing to the comparative density OF
population and scarcity Of markets,
most of the people are extremely poor.
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1898-10-19

slways blow and from which pour down
the rivers. notably the Mayaguez, from
which i'm olden times much gold was
obtained.
To the south and east Of Mayaguez
lies the handsome town of San German,
which is contemporary with San Juan,
and was founded in 1511. 1t is built on
q long, uneven hill, at the foot o: which
lies the beautiful valley Of two united
rivers, where every tropical fruit and
vegetable is grown. Southeast Of this
town lies Yauco, $50 feet above the sea,
with fine climate and good running
water. It is connected by cart road
with the port Of Guanica, where there
is 'splaya," or shore settlement, OF
about j, 600 people. This port was the
initial point in the strategic plans OF
General Miles in his recent military
occupation of Porto Rico.
East of Yauco and connected with it
by rail lies Ponce, the chief city Of the
south coast and second only to San Juan
in commercial Importance. It was
founded about 1900 and lies two to three
miles from its port, the spacious harbor
of which will admit vessels OF. % feet
craft There are about 81, 900 people in
Ponce and its playa" and within its
jurisdiction about d, 1000, making this
city the largest, asit is in some respects
the finest in the island. 1t has 81
streets, several plazas, fne old church,
hospitals, three theaters, municipal
library, markets, casinos, park and gas
works. In fact, it has the entire equip
ment of first class city, with the finest
theater, the Pearl, to be found in Porto
Rico, built Of iron and marble at cost
Of 70, 900 pesos. The climate is hot, but
rather dry, and the land and sea breezes
make the city endurable, even desirable,
as place Of residence, particularly IN
the winter season. Just outside the city
are the thermal baths Of La Quintana,
eHicacious in many diseases and embow-
ered in lovely garden. The taking OF
Ponce by our troops and their enthusi-
astic welcome by the inhabitants must
be still fresh in the mind of the reader.
About so miles eastward from Ponce
lies the town of Guayama, with 1850
Inhabitants, which, was founded IN
1886, and has one of the richest churches
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1898-10-19
Chalk as a Coal Saver.

To make half ton Of coal go as 10
hundredweight place a quantity oi
chalk in the CRATES. Cnce heated this is
practically inexhausti5le from combus-
tion and gives out great heat Place the
chalk at the back Of each CT your fires
i'm nearly equal proportions with the
coal. Full satisfactior will be felt both
as to the cheerfulness and as to the
warmth of the fire, and the saving
throughout the winter will be at the
rate of % per cent.-Excharoa
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1898-10-19
Russian Liars.

Russian diplomats hold that it is no
disgrace or dishonor to lie in the most
uablushing manner in order to promote
the interests of their country and OF
their sovereign When the late cza1
asked once of Count Ignateif how he
came to be nicknamed 1.-The Father Of
Lies while ambassador at Constantine
ple, he with low bow responded, "ln
tne service of your majesty.
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1898-10-19
saamen Vote Ahead of Time.

Norwegian seamen are entitled to
Dte before leaving their country If the
rolling day is within three months OF
their departure, or they can vote at
foreign port within the same time BY
having their votes sent home through
Norwegian consul.
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1898-10-19
CITES OF PORTO RICO.
picturesque Places In Uncle
Sans New Island.
EE Up 10 DATE TOWN OF PONCE.
with rs Plaza Is Has .Eore Inhabitants
Than san Jasa-.-he As.racsise Ladies
cs Porto Eico-yery Li..le Vacant Land
Left-The Dense Po2ulation.

The eIimatanf Pogto Rieois hot and
snnoist, the mean temperature 'c the
aowlands being notfarfrom 100 degrees; !;
but one may change his climate IN
ionrneyof a few hours. For instance,
while the city of Ponce on the southern
coast may be sizzling beneath astorrld
snn with the temperature up IN the
nineties, IN the pretty mountain town
Adiuntas, only 16 miles distant, the
mercury may be down as low as SO or
so Due west from San Juac lies the
port Ct Arscibo, with over 6, 600 inhab-
isants. is 35 miles from the capital
Sireetsiine aud By rail abouts50 on
river of the same name, which drains
valley famed for its natural beauty
and plantations. About eight miles In
land is a wonderful grotto, with exten-
iya chambers and beautiful staiactiees.
The commerce of the town is important,
bot the pors is poor, all freight having
So be lightered.
Swinging around to a point on the
northwest coast there opens M rhe
nnagnifcent bayof Agnadi tIa capable
os floating a Mkyy, thetown Of the sane
name Being the most picturesque OF any
IA the island. It lies at the base of a
very steep mountain covered with lem
and orange trees, palms, ETC., and
from "a nearby ravine gushes out
spring of pure water Of immense vol
unae, which flows through the town to
{ The sea. An antique church and an old
fort add to the spicturesqueness OF the
scene. The toxin has about 5, 900 inhab-
ita1ss, and Eve miles farther to the
south on the same big bay is the town
sof Aguada, on the site where, tradition
relates, Columbus touched fer water In
1888 and was so impressed with the
beauty Of the scene that he called the
island the 6 Rich Port. 2 Due south lies
I HE city Of Mayaguez, with II, 600
inhabitants, but 28, 900 withsn its juris-'
diction, the third city Of the island in
importance, and one that exports vast
quantities Of sugar and coffee, pineap-
pIes and coccanuts aud imports -four,
etc, from the United States. It is the
second port for coffee, its average an
nuaa export being about 1900, 600
pounds. The temperature is said rarely
tossxceed 90 degrees, and tbs mountains
are not farsaway, where the cool breezes
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1898-10-19
warding OFF Jealousy.

Old Gotrocks (savagely)-What's
that! You mean to tell me that you
really love my laughter for herself
alone?
Young Hardup (tremulously)-Y-yes,
sir. but I think could learn to l-love
you, t.toc, SIR. in t-t-t;me, sir.-Vanlty
Fair
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1898-10-19
Willing to Sacrifice.

Lodging House Clerk-Bed with
bath, 10 cents.
Weary Watkins guess I'd rather
nay little more and not take the bath
indianapolis Journal.
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1898-10-19

It only takes woman five minutes
to clean up a mans desk so that 1t will
take him two weeks to find anything ne
wants.-Exchange
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1898-10-19
The Earth's Shadow.

The earth has a shadow, but very
few ever see it, except in eclipses Of the
moon, or else few recognize it when
they see it. Nevertheless, many of US
have noticed on fine, cloudless even
ings in summer shortly before sunset a
rosy or pink arc on the horizon opposite
the sun, with blush gray segment
under it. AS the sun sinks the arc rises
until it attains the zenith and even
passes it. This is the shadow Of the
earth.
The Little Carate.
Some years ago the English prime
minister received the following letter
from workingman:
SIE-Doubtless you do not often get letter
fror, workingman on the subject OF clerical
appointments, but, as here you have got to
hnd minister for to I'LL Mr.. Boyd Carpenter .
place, allow me to ask you to just go some
Sunday afternoon and here our little curate.
Mr. -, at st. Matthews chrrch-he Is a
good, Earnest little man and a genuine little
Fellow got no humbug about him, but sound
Churchman, is an extempor Preacher and de
serves promotion. Nobody knows am writ
ing to you, and it is not matter OF kiss and
20 by favor, but simply asking you TO take q
run over and here him and then put him q
slept hizher-he deserves it. know Mr.. Sui
:ivan will give him good character, and SO
will Mr. Alcroft. the Patron. Now do go over
and here him before you make choice. Ne
workingmen will be sorry to loose him, but
we think he ought not to be missed promotion
as is good fellow. Your obedient servant
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1898-10-19

Dogs kept exclusively for guiding
blind persons or for tending sheep or
cattle on farm or by shepherds are
exempt from taxation in Great Britain.
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1898-10-19

Make use Of time while it is present
with you 1t depends upon your will
and not upon the number of days to
have sufficient length of life.-Mon
taiuna
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1898-10-19

The Whine runs light. The "White"
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1898-04-16
Earnest Preaching.

Perhaps one great reason for the fire.
quent weakness Of preaching is that It
is not in dead earnest. No other
preaching is worth while. If you see
not the eyes of your congregation Gag
er on you, but the tops Of their heads
bowling politely toward you, then you
must bestir yourself, for you are not
preaching, only pressing. Archbishop
Whately says that a good preacher
breaches because he has something to
say, poor one because he has to say
something. That is just the difference.
There never can be too much of the
dead-earnest preaching. There is no
man SO much in demand to-day as the
preacher all on fire. with his theme
Whenever he comes, his welcome goef
before him. Even if men stone him.
still he sits his throne and rules the
hearts of men. There are no triumphs
of the past so great as tho triumph:
of speech, from Demosthencs down tt
Gladstone, from John the Baptist Il
Whitefeld. Men bow absolutely before
the magic of speech. 1t Is not in vair
that tho highest revelation OF God Il
called the Word.--Ihe Church Union