The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1898-08-26
MISS WALKERS STAGE SUICIDE.

Real Ocean, Real Press Aeeni, Real Jack
There, Especially the Press Agent.
In accordance with the instructions Of
hard working press agent Miss Agnes
walker tried TO commit Il stage suicide
~ three feet Of real ocean near New York
the other afternoon. She might liav,,
succeede better II there had been three
feet i. 7. more Of ocean there. That there was
not is the fault neither Of herself nor ssler
press agent. They did their best, aud
she is now really Il patient in d hospital
as u result of her professional eIitil,is.
assn. Miss Walker is one of the Walker
sisters who do a tossing dance-is our
deiight turn at an uptown music hall.
Following instructions, she went to Bath
Beach on the appointed day and bsheld
one Jack, upon whom she is supposed to
have layished her young affections, in
known in that resort by the nom &c
plume of Cherries. 49,
"Hevvins! cried Agnes, having
learned her lines with care. "My Jack in
hussy, come OFF, "
AS Cherries only gripped the fascinat-
ing Jack tighter, Agnes ran madly
| around in concentric circles after the
manner of Il half-beheaded hen, flappiDg
her arms and moaning dsmally. This
she continued for the proper length of
time, and then prepared for her great
attempted suicide act. This prepare ton
included several drinks at the hotel.
Fortified thereby, she rushed down up-
ON the captains pier. shrieking:
What is there left to live for? Let
me die! Let me seek wu1ery srayer'
But the watery grave was some dis
lance below, and the jump looked like
long one SO, although nobody evinced
any inclination to interfere with her d.
versions, the. fair and frantic Agnes fed
pack again, jumped with agile grace
down upon the sand, waded out into the
ocean until she was waist deem. climbed
upon tioat anchored there, gave two
or three heart broken whoops. and diye,l
hcadforelnost for the bottom, shrieking:
II am resolved to die"
Her resolve should have been taken in
deeper water. a second later her head
emergd. @""
me PERISH
Then she took long breath, ducked
under, and for as much as three seconds
q1d the perishlng act quite effectively.
up she came again and proclaimed:
-, II am lost. Good-by.'
Two lie savers proved that though she
may have been lost she was then fonnd
by, yanking her upon the float. where she
so6bed and proclaimed that her life was
dreary waste. and she pinned to be rid of
1t. Next she sang scale about her Jack.
and tainted picturesquely. Two ambu,
iances raced for her. and the Norwegian
hospital ambulance won. She was taken
there, suffering from alcoholism and hys-
terra, according to the diagnosis. It
taxes Dutch courage to follow out the d.
rectlons of a press agent, sometimes. Jack
and his blond cherries continued their
swim.
It was about 5 o'clock when Agnes
walked into the jaws of death. Three
hours later the press agent rang up the
Sun.
..Hellor' he said in a fearful voice
Did you hear about the suicide?''
What suicide?" said the reporter It
this end of the line.
Agnes Walker SMILED the. press
agent. She-she's dead. Drowned. just
got word. Oh; it's a terrible thing, and
her so young"
How did you hear about it?''
Ielephone. replied the press agent,
sobbingly. "Her sister-she's the other
one of the team, you know fsong and
dance at $500 d week; greatest in-the busi-
ness). is here in Mysteries. We're trying
to keep it from her"
well, don't try to keep it from u.s. re-
piled. the reporter brutally. Next time
tell her to try, deeper water. You get a
grea deal more suicide for your money
''What!' cried the press agent Then
ne rang off hastily. 1t may be stated con-
tldently that Agnes won't die unless she
tries again.