Mesa free press., 1898-01-07
&1lizNgnz


Willie-Pa, what's the Great Di-
WIDER Pa-It's what comes after an
election.-Chicago News.
She (after the quarrel)-And must we
part forever, Harry? He-Well at least
until tomorrow night, Maude.
Briggs-What kind of fellow Is Will
lowsnap? Griggs--I don't know. I've
only seen him when he was with his
wife.-Puck.
The Counts flancee-I received my
engagement ring to-day. Isn't it beau
tiful? Her friend-Very beautiful!
Have you shown it to the Count YETI
Puck.
Jackson has an advertisement III
this paper which reads: Come back,
and I'll be good" HAS his wife left
himT "No; it's the cook" Chicago
Record.
II can tell you." said he, show much
water runs over Niagara Falls to a
quart" How much" replied she.
1.-TWO pints." -Pittsburg Chronicle
Telegraph.
'"Tell me, dear, am 1 the first man
you ever kissed~ "You are the first
one who was mean and suspicious
enough to ask me that question. In
dianapolis Journal.
"Why Is 1t that Chumpley always
buys another new gun at the opening
Of the game season. Because the one
he had the year before never killed
anything."-Detroit Free Press.
SIS that young one going to stay
awake all night?" asked Mr.. Lush
forth, Indignantly. "There is no right
for you to complain" retorted his wife.
HE inherits the habit from YOU"
She-What are those missing links
we hear so much about? He-Oh, they
were some golf links that were located
in a certain Western town before the
cyclone struck it.-Yonkers Statesman.
Junior counsel (after stating case)-
think our client has a good cause Of
action. Senior counsel (doubtfully)-I
He's worth fifty thousand dollars
Puck.
Caller-In yesterdays paper you said
Miss Footlight was one of the most
beautiful women on the stage. Why
didn't you print her picture? Editor
We never take back what we say
Puck
A man who suffered badly went to
consult specialist about his afdiction.
The expert asked: "Do you stutter all
the timer "N-n-n-no," replied the suf-
ferer, 81 s-s-stut-t-ter only when ]
t-t-talk."
Harriet-And so Fred Dullwich has
asked you to marry him, has he? Mar
garet (sighing and blushing)-Yes,
night before last! Harriet-What
stickler he is for formalities.-Cleve-
land Leader.
Gabber-Oh, don't talk to me about
bicycles! I'm sick at the very thought
of 'em. You couldn't hire me to put my
head into shop where they sell the
things. Tibber--That would be a case
Of wheels within wheels, wouldn't it?
Traveller Ito the ferryman crossing
the river)-Has any one ever been lost
in this stream? Boatman-No, sir; some
professor was drowned here last
spring, but they found him after look
ing for two weeks.-Fliegende Blaetter.
Mrs. Crimsonbeak-Whata are you in
such deep thought about, John? Mr..
Crimsonbeak-I was only thinking,
dear, that all the men who have gone
in search of the north pole seem to
have been married men.-Yonkers
Statesman.
what, no telephone" asked one of
the regular callers at the drug store;
"why did you have it taken out p Most
of the people in the neighborhood got
to using it to order drugs from other
stores. l guess can grasp business
idea once in a while. Detroit Free
Press.
''If had known" sobbed young Mrs.
Fitz, that you would be such brute
to poor Fido, would never have mar
ried YOU" "My DEAR" replied Mr.. Fitz,
"the anticipation of kicking that mis-
cradle little beast was one Of my chief
reasons for proposing to you."-Tid-
Bits.
Mrs. Jones-Why, John, you've shot
a hen! Jones Gndignantly)-Hen? That,
madam, is a Shanghai Buff Cochin Leg
horn partridge, that 1 shot near farm
house; and, as it happened to be tame
one, and quite family pet, had to
pay for it, Where did you ever get
your knowledge of hens, madam
Puck.
Tram-Pd like drink, but l don't
suppose you'd want to change this So
bill. Bartender (briskly)-No trouble
about change. Here's your medicine.
Tramp-Thanks. All! That's good
whisky. Bartender-Eh! Lookee here!
This bill is no good! Tramp-Yes;
said you wouldn't want to change it,
New York Weekly.
Junior-I don't know what to think
of Miss Knice. Either she is awfully