davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1898-10-30
THE ARIZONA KICKER,
There Is Excitement in Editorial Life In
the West.
JUST AN EXPERIMENT.

JUST AN EXPERIMENT.
Tuesday afternoon last, as we were
busy at our editorial table "a stranger
entered and began firing at us with two
guns. We were too surprised to do any
lodging and our nearest pistol was ten
feet away. 1t was all over in fifteen
seconds, however, and the shooter had
fired two bullets without even grazing
our hide. There were two holes in the
back of our chair, three through the
stove pipe behind us, and wall re-
ceived the other bullets. We rose up
after while and took the man by the
neck and slammed him around until
he begged for mercy. He gave his
name as Elkins and said he was Oh his
way from Salt Lake to Prescott. When
he arrived, here it struck him to ny
an experiment.. He had a curiosity 10
knew whether an editor would fight.
and what an editor would say in his
dying moments. AS a matte: Of fact.
he had nothing against us ard when
the affair was ov2. he subscribed for
The Kicker and paid two years in adj
vance That was the first time we had
sat down without gun within reach
for five years, and nobody need plan
on the idea that we will do it again.
Had we been 'heeled'' Mr.. Elkins
would now be sleeping with his fore
fathers. Nevertheless, he got enough
at our hands to satisfy him that the
editorial fraternity of Arizona is not to
be walked on, and that any experiments
with the craft may result in springing
the bear trap.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1898-10-30

fslf azl ~ u eoi'i ~ 2nd :q
abo1t hov many hehts he had. IA. but
! II didn't need words Is show what ~
passin' IN is mind He begun to paw
and beller and lash his tall. and 1
threw clubs at him to start him goin' :.
1t wasn't long before he started"
what did he do?"
Wall, as there wasn't Twin thing
in the barnyard for him to pitch into
he went for my new wagon. 1t cost
me $50, and had just got it home. In
| five minutes he had made kindlin' wood
of the thing, and then he turned to
the barn. All the doors were shut,
but he smashed in through the big ones
and made splinters of my tanning mill,
broke the corn shelter anG hooked down
and destroyed two sets of harness.
That was all he could get at in there,
and he come out and threw down FIVE
rods of fence and got into the orchard.
/ tried to club him off, but he broke
down and uppoted twenty young apple
trees, drove me into the house, and he
might have come in after me if he
hadn't stopped to upset the smokehouse
and three bee hives. When the hives
went over about a million bees flew
out and wanted to know what was
goin' on, and as soon as they got to
work the bull started for home. He
was stung so bad that he died hitter a
day or two. but that didn't console me
much. I had tried to be cute and
smart and play a gumgame on harm
less old bull, and l figgered up that
was over a hundred dollars out of
pocket and the biggest fool in the
State" h
| Copyright, 1893, by the international
| Literary and News Service.)
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1898-10-30

me low-down. I was goin' to start out
on a Monday and begin KILN, but Sun
day night the hull drove made OIL,
leavin only two old lame coons behind,
and all got fur their pelts was twenty
cents apiece. After my con was gone
not coon was to be found in the
whole county
But you discovered that 'possums
had gratitude?' l observed, as the old
man maintained a sulky silence.
wall, was comm to that" he re-
piled. Il reckon it was the next sum-
mer arter the coons played me that
trick that the woods all around we're
took fire, Thar was fire on every slice
of us fur a week, with the smoke so
thick some time that you could skass-
ly draw bre tn. AFTER day or two the
wild vermi It's began to show up in my
clearin'. In, one afternoon | saw two
deer, three bars, two wild cats and |
dunno how many coons, woodchucks,
squirrels, 'possums and rabbits. Some
of em jest flew across the clearin' into
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1898-10-30
Then left the gate open, and of course

Then l left the gate open, and Of course
the bull turned in as he came along
1t was hot day, with no water
around, and he went for that key at
once. He didn't like the first taste,
but he kept sippin' away, and by and by
he upset the key in tryin' to get the
last pint. l watched for effects, and
didn't have to watch long"
1T made him boozy, did it?" was
asked.
THAT bull was regularly drunk, sir.
His head began TO swim, same as a
mans, and he was astonished. He
stood for about fifteen minutes with
his legs all brace. and then the dizzi-
ness went away, and he got silly.
Seems to me he tried his best to laugh.
was expectin' to see him begin 10
dance around when the feelin' sud
denly struck him that he was the beSs
bull Of the United States He couldn't
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1898-10-30
COED FOR WHAT ALLIED HIM.

For the past three months man
calling himself Awful Abe Jones" has
been hanging around this town of Give
adam Gulch and giving everybody the
grand bluff. Two or thee people who
pretended to know him said that he
was a terrible man TO go up against,
and rather than shoot him down and
have the trouble Of coroner's inquest
the boys have swallowed his bluffs.
Tuesday afternoon Mr. Jones got word
that this climate was bad for his neck,
and he stood up and defied any man or
a dozen men to lay hands on him. His
neck was never healthier, he contended,
ard It would be a cold day when he
was run out OF town At l o'clock that
night we got quiet tip. and ten min
utes later found Mr. Jones at the usual
spot. He had a rope around his neck.
his elbows were tied behind him, and
he was weeping and eltreating the
dozen msn standing about. The bluff
ing business had come 10 sudden end.
and he wanted 10 leave the Gulch al
once. The rope was pulled to see hon
ii worked. It worked so well that Mr.
jones went up 10 the limb. He was
c avn up and let down several times,
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1898-10-30
"THE UNGRATEFUL VARMINT
CARRIED OFF THE HOG"

he's not exactly squar'," was the reply.
Zone sezun it was so hot and dry that
all the con around yere bout my field
was burned up. l had three acres I'M
der the hills where the ground was
moist, and that con came along nicely.
Bout the time the kernels BEGAN to
harden men the old woman was look
in over the field when we run agin
twentyseven eoons in heap. They
was on their way into the con, and
they was pore and weak. Didn't pear
to me as if they had had anything to
eat in a week. I could have killed 'em
all with a club, but the old woman stops
me and says:
"Zeb, don't do it, The fur amt
prime yit, and KILN would be all loss.
Let them coons feed up fur a month
and you'll make money out of it.
1T looked that way to me arter bit,
and we stood aside and let them coons
into the con. Mo of 'em kept comm,
until, in three or TO days. it wasn't no
trouble to count hundred of the var
minis. They was too pore and weak
to git out O. the way at fust, but purity
soon they began to fatten up. and jest
counted that Td hev coon skins huff
to buy me mewl That con was wuth
60 cents a bushel. but | didn't be-
grudge it to the coons. l was waitin'
and hangin' on till the fur got prime,
and them coons knowed it and played
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1898-10-30
PLAYING A GAME ON A BULL,

"Speakin' about folks doin' SIGH
mighty smart things" said the farmer
man as he blew the hayseed off his hat,
makes me remember leetle adven-
ture l had about fifteen years ago, |
was standin' at the gate of my farm
house one day when a brewery wagon
come along on its way over to the vii
lage. Jest beyond my house the wheels
fell into a rut and one Of the kegs was
bounced off. l hollered to the driver,
but he didn't stop, and l got the key
and rolled it into the barn. Nobody
came for the key, and month had
gone by when a big bull, which was
owned by a farmer five miles away,
come bellerin along the road. He
wasn't doin' any harm to anybody, and
he'd have gone on about his business
but for me. 1t struck me all of a sud-
den to offer him that key Of beer. |
was tickled to death at the thought OF
maxim the critter drunk, and while he
was PAWN up the earth and lookin'
over the fence, l got the key out into
the barnyard and knocked the head in
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1898-10-30
HE GOT SOMETHING.

Believing it to be. the duty of every
postmaster in the United States to
sleep in the postoffice, and thus be on
hand to guard its interests at all hours,
we moved our bed from The Kicker
office several months ago.. While the
office closes at nine o'clock in the eve
ming, any of the boys who come bang
ing at the door from that hour to day
On Monday night last, about the hour
of midnight, we were aroused by some
one king six bullets into the door. We
got out of bed and asked who 1t was
and what was wanted, and a strange
voice replied that if we di'nt hand him
out a handful of letters he'd fill the old
building full of lead. He added that he
also wanted drink and a haircut, and
that we'd better be lively about it. We
were lively. We do not run a saloon
and barber shop in connection with the
postofIice We got down our gun and
opened the door and shot three bullets
through the strangers whiskers and
three more through his hat, and the
way he went galloping down the street
would have made a cowboy jealous.
Our esteemed contemporary heard of
the incident and used it as founda
ton of the article headed: "Our Post
master Would-Be Murderer But
we are not kicking about it. His week
ly circulation is down to 6S copies, and
nine-tenths Of his readers are cross
eyed or drunk half the time.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1898-10-30
A MOUNTAIN STORY.


How the 'Possums Game to old b
While
"SpeaEin' bout 'possums, said old
Zeb White one afternoon as we were
tramping over the Cumberland noun
tains. but / don't reckon there's nc
yarmint like him. I'd been huntin
'possums fur ten years, and had killed
'em by the hundred, befo' l found out
that 'posum was a squar critter. /
mean that it's his natur' to do the squar
thing, same as the right sort of man.
l replied that if such trait existed
in any wild animal l had never heard of
it, and deemed it curious thing, and
he continues:
"You see, folks don't set out to study
animals, and so they don't know. Take
bar for instance-he hain't got no
gratitude about him. One summers
day, ten or twelve years ago, l was sit
TIM on the shady side of the cabin,
when a big he bar come rollin' down
the hill out O. the bresh. He'd stepped
into a trap witch Tom Barnes had sot
in the woods in the spring and forgot
all about | reckon that bar had
dragged that trap around fur weeks,
ard it must hev been mighty uncom-
Portable. He stood thar and looked at
me, and l sot thar and looked at him.
1t bein' summer time and fur no good,
/ didn't want nuthin' of that bar. AFTER
he had looked at me fur about five min
its the old woman comes TO the doah
and says:
"Zeb White, thar's whoopin' big
bar out thar
Eyes
"'Hes got steel trap on his foot,
and he's wantin' you to take it off,
That's just what that bar did want
said Zeb to me, land his actions showed
it SO plain that l went out to him.
The trap had a chain on it about six
feet long, and l went that nigh to the
brute. l got a stick and pried open the
trap, and that bar sot there and licked
the hurt for ten minits befo' waikin
off. He 'peared to be mighty pleased
and men the old woman decided that
it was the sort of a critter to do us a
good turn II il ever come his way. 1t
didn't pan out that way, though
How did it come out?"
"Why, the blamed ongratful varmint
got all well of his hurt by October, and
ne came back one night and carried OF
the hog from the pen and tipped over
my two bee-hives That is the way he
repaid me, anG / have never helped
another bar out of a scrape. The very
next summer l found one caught in a
holler log and starvin' TO death and
whinin' fur mercy, but l passed on and
left him to die. I'm sayin that any
man who sets out to be squar' with
bar will shorely git left
"How is it with coons?" l asked,
"Wall, a coon is beter'n a bar, but
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1898-10-30

whipping. The offense may be repeat
ed. but do not at once use the cane. ~
may have been an accident and YOU
must remember that child cannot re-
tain things as an acult can. He may
have forgotten, so be patient httie
while longer, though perhaps a little
more severe and impressive. II TINS
fails and the offense is repeated wilfnlll
one must have recourse to the req ana
rule the child by fear.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1898-10-30
SHOULD CHILDREN BE WHIPPED

All children differ in temperament.
Some are amenable to kind words, while
nothing but the rod will have any effect
upon others. Children who must be
ruled by the rod are the exception.
The majority of children will yield to
kindness. To begin with, children
must not be finished for everything
they do wrong The world is new TO
them, and they have everything to
learn. Never punish child for first
offense. Watch carefully for an oppor-
tunity to correct him, but unless the
offense is very bad do not reprove or
correct him in the presence Of strang-
ers or friends. You must make up your
mind to shut your eyes to half the mis-
chievous things he does. but be on the
alert to catch him in the act of actual
wrongdoing.
For a first offense you must be all
gentleness and very patient. Try TO
impress upon him that what he has
done is very wrong and has displeased
you. Talk kindly and firmly, and in as
simple words as possible go over 1t two
or three times and make the child thor
oughly understand how much you feel
hurt that he should have done wrong.
Be sure and explain why it is wrong.
Never scold, nor be harsh, nor strike.
however gently Simply give the child
as sweet and tender lesson as posi-
BILE by talking. This, If done properly,
will be much more effective than a
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1898-10-30

toes out AKIN and chafed some u ~
/ pain away; the sage askedr
Wen dds md what was under the
hat p
Il didst, b'gosh!'
"Was it feather bed?"
mot by jugful! 1t was ten
pound stone, and Their was no soft side
to it, either. Do you think I'll ever
make philosopher
mot on your life, my boy! The be-
ginning of philosophy is to know
what's under an old hat In the road be-
| fore you kick it, and you were dismal
| failure. Just head back for Wauseon
/ and your grocery business, and if you
continue to give fifteen ounces to the
pound and three pecks and half to the
bushel, you'll get rich and die happy.
Toes ache yet? Well, try some of my
witch hazel at fifty cents bottle
One day the sultan escaped from his
| courtiers and struck a gain for the
country, determined to find a. man who
would give him the truth +avoid Of fla--
terry Coming upon traveller who was
resting in the shade Of tree. the great
man began:
80. friend, l am looking for one who
has no f1attefy on his tongue"
"Then you've run up agin the right
man, old hoss," wss the. blunt reply.
"Old jim Sweetzer has no lasses on the
end of his tongue for man or woman.
What wouldst thou2"
whilst l am nigh fifty years old, |
am told every hour in the day that
don't look a day over thirty
"Then they lie like thieves! When
you were yet fifty rods off / took you
for an old hayseed of seventy. You are
a tough old case. and you bet you
show it,"
''My admirers would have me think
I am all wise," continued the sultan as
he swallowed his cud of gum.
"Well, it don't look like it to me.
You sat plump down on a bumblebee,
and in about a minute more he'll give
you a lift. A wise man don't flop down
without looking over the grass"
"They would have it that | always
uphold the Truth.
"Mebbe you do but if | was tin ped
dler I'd be on my guard against that
/ foxy face of yours. l believe you'd
sell sheep pelt with a cash in it as
quick as wink. Anything more they
stuff you WITH"
"They tell me- unused the sultan,
that am the greatest Of earth
"Bosh," exclaimed the traveller, "Why
1 know of fifty different men who can
give you all sorts of pointers. Per-
haps I can myself For instance,
which end of a mule does a man al
WAYS hit or, a dark night?"
"But l never knew before that a
mule had two ends! Friend, thou hast
not only entertained me wisely and
well. but taught me that fattery may
even beget ignorance. Come with me
to my palace and be my head boss and
only chum, and if any of the gang
I look crosseyed at you, away goes their
boodcr,,
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1898-10-30

the woods beyand. and some hung
round and didn't pear to fear me as
much as the fire. Bein' down on bars
ana coons, | driv EN- along as fast as
they showed up, and likely might have
done the same by the 'possums but fur
the old woman. We was out west Of
the cabin, fightin fire in the bushes,
when she suddenly calls out to me:
"'Befo' the Lawd, Zeb White, but
never dun see SIGH sight as that over
thar.
"On the trail leadin' down from the
spring was a procession Of 'possums,
all bound fur the clearin' around the
cabin. We stood thar till the last one
had passed, and then we went down to
find 'em in the mewl shed. They was
half choked with the smoke, and We
could pick EN- up by hand. | started
in to count en- but give it up at 250
The number was fully To- hundred, and
most Of 'em was full grown. | was fur
CluDUln I Gil GICuS. DuI llC Olu vivian
felt pity to the varmints and carried
EN- water by the pail full. Them pos
sums was with us til a, heavy rain fell
and drenched out the fire. 1t was in
the mawnin that they started off, and
anybody but a blind man could hev seen
that they was grateful They went off
up the same TRAIL ard as they passed
us they almost spoke right out and
said they'd never forget the favor. Did
you ever hear 'possum purr?"
No; never did,
Its like a cat, only more noise to it.
They went past us purrin' and twistin'
their tails, and the last of 'em looked
back and put in few extra purrs and
twists | didn't count much on luck,
but the old woman stuck to it that sun
thin good would happen, and it came
out as she said. That fall thar didn't
pear to be a coon in all Tennessee, and
the price of 'possum hides went up 10
fo'ty cents apiece. Jest about time the
fur got prime and l was goin' to hus-
tie l went out doahs one mawninf and
see q big 'possum standin' thar. In
about a mint he began purrin' and
twistin' his tail and coaxin' me TO fol-
Ter him. l sot out and he led me to a
bit O. woods about two miles away
which had eseaned the summer fire,
and right thar l got my reward"
Find ? big bag of gold?" 1 asked.
mo. sab but rext to it. That pos
sum colony was all thar among the
boiler trees. and in the cose of month
l got S7S pelts and mad money TO live
on fur a hull year. They was waitin'
to be killed to show their gratitude. and
one of them had bin sent to show me
the way. 1t was the biggest 'possum
kill ever known in the world. and folks
around we're are still talkin' bout it.
That was 'posum gratitude, sab. and
YOU les. excuse NE if 1 say that be-
tween the gireral run of folks and the
giseral run of 'possums I'll take pos
sums every time
Copyright 1898. by the International Lit
erary and News Service)
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1898-10-30

I. tfsl u & bi1k ~ sovn
olkers i neld ~ ~?
10 yosa meap 70 ask r the boys
would turn out to hear your lecturer"
Exactly
s.If you took the right course yes. !"
"And the right course would be-?"
ITO promise to set up the drinks be-
fore and after"
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1898-10-30
THE GIRLS EVERY ONE LIKES.

The most lovable girls in tbs Worlo
are those of sunny disposition A few
people like the quiet. thoughtful girlsl
others like the girl who is perretuaiiy
vivacious and bubbling over with spir-
it's. but every one likes The girl with
the CHEEKY. sunny disposition. Girls OF
this character are never extravagantly
boisterous or t,ismaly quiet. They have
a pleasant smile for every one. They,
never seem troubled or Worried. Their
voice is low and musical and their
smile-be they pretty or not--is always
sweet. The only trouble that the sunny
tempered girl has is the outcome OF
her popularity.
Everybody wants TO talk to her ara
be in her company. Young men are az.
tracted to her without effort on her
part. for her character shows itself SO
plainly in her actions that young men
are delighted at the cheerishness ana
sympathy Of her nature and are drawn
to her at once For every reason, then,
the girl with the sunny dis&2sition. who
smiles away the troubles diAife. Is q
favorite. and, what is more, old feoplA
are just as charmed by her as young.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1898-10-30
A PHILIPPINE RAINY DAY DRIES
Cons SITS Chiefly OF a Hat as Far as Moss
Natives are Concerned.


CA2go Post.
McCutcheon. the artist, supports
rgument that we should not absorb
Philippines by his drawing OF theI
'Yiny day costume In this heather sec-k
ION of the world. We have been greatly
scandalzed by the discovery that q
rainy day costume In the Philippines cons,
sists merely of a hat, and not a very good,
looking hat at that. or course, the adj
vance of civilization. which VIII follow
our ACQUISITION OF the islands, Will SOON
add to the hat a pair OF stockings, ana
perhaps an odd glove or bracelet, buc
even these useful articles OF apparel ana
adornment are hardly sufficient to meet
our stern sense of the prophecies OF life.
The rainy season in the Philippines exs
tends from May until December, anu
from June until November the rains are
very heavy. hence for more tnan nye
months the costume of the people OF inc
Islands Is confined to nat, ana we pres
sumo that the ladies' and gentlemen se-f
lect their summer styles with the Same
care and devotion lavished on Easter
We must admit. hardly with the same
agreeable results
Mr.. Nccutcheon has really done ~ an
inestinnabie service with his picture OK
ne gentleman In the hat and We are now
satisfied that all we should demand from
Inc Philippines is a coaling station 70
which our delicate. and refined womeH
try that regards a hat adsquatcaanf re-
spectable clothing for six months m ibe
YEAR should have no part IN the tgreat
American empire.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1898-10-30
SAVAGE DOGS OF THE FAR NORTH

Labrador has dogs so fierce that a log
Of wood is tied 10 their neeks to render
them less dangerous to man and weaker:
dogs. In Ksmchatka the dogs are Sc
vereIy trained TO haul heavy loads
across the ice. and their tempers get
soured, consequently they are suriys
brutes, and their drivers manage them!
by stunning them with blows over the
head. which Is not very good for thsir'
intellects.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1898-10-30

and was then told to go. He went. his
neck has gained several inches IN
length, and he had some difficulty III
promising to be twenty miles away De-
fore daylight, but he got what was
good for him and won't strike the next
town with a whoop and bang.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1898-10-30
PINE HILLS WAYS.

80 you think" asked the temper
ance lecturer of the mayor Of Pine Hill,
as the two were introduced on a n.