The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1898-12-02

1OIUlIlY AAaldtA II htL
ouirer.n They strike me as very funny,
althoueb / have had time enough. good
ness knows, to get used to the club wom-
an she Is no longer new. She is de-
cidedly ancient, but to me still a novelty
on account of her comieal self.
Always in hot water. "Self-martyrdom,
as I told a group the other evening. The
eroup was in an agitated state Anxiety
hung like 4 brooding spirit of unrest over
the fair ones. They belonged TO a lit
erary club. one of the number had to
read a paper at the very next meeting
ane her walls of coming woe were beng
husfred by 1attering tongues. Said onesT
you know, Mrs. Brown. you always
say the right things, and then you have
such a way of reading what you nave
written. And at this the other woman
murmured, Eyes, indeed. your papers are
too lovely
Perfectly delightful
s.why. you are a perfect wonder" Ana
so on, and a cron.e added with an aiiec-
ktionate pat
awe all have to go through with the
same thing and after you are through
with this paper, Elizabeth, you are free
to sit back and watch us suffer."
Suffer, Think of that from women,
who are supposed to meet together for
pleasures sake. / should have thought an
operation Of a serious nature was about
to, be performed on each one OF them.
Women are geese, and never greater
geese than when trying the intellectual
bluff. They dom deceive each other.
They never deceive outsiders. then why
should they deliberately scourge them
selves as they do?
heard a man tell another man that
he might as well be a bachelor since ms
wife had taken to clubbing it.
And she is so miserable" said he.
most OF her time her nose is eternaily
stuck in a bookcase trying to find out
something about some old duffer that
lived before she was born. / think the
worst spell she has a was when she
had to write up the political state Of the
country. That poor thing worked day
and night to get her paper in shape ana
she nearly drove me crazy asking ques-
tions. And after the meeting she came
home and was laid up for two days with
a nervous hill or something of the sort.
Husbands are doing lots of growing
over the literary rabids that have bitten
so many women. They say that papers
are going to wreck homes, are going 10
drive men to drink, are going to make
them long for old fashioned women Who
never heard of a paper" nice comforta-
Bile know-nothings, ready to sit down ard
coddle a fellow if need be.
/ am always amused at the club woman
who tries her intellectual lodges ON me.
She is fresh from a meeting, chuckful OF
Emerson. or some other light.
She deliberately wedges in her latest IN
formation. The effort is as plain as tie
nose on her face. She might just as well
settle right down and say:
Snow, Dorothy, l nave gotten together
some facts. l never had SO many before
and am going to work them off oil you.
If you are not dazzled by my knowledge
you are a dunder head. / am going to
talk about a certain person because the
chances are ten to one you never heard of
him.
And then she fairly bleeds facts ana II
] smile and let her have her right of way
she goes off and says
81 reckon, / just about did her up that
time. She couldn't open her mouth
TIE woman who has the contents of her
latest paper on her mind is a badger. She
represents to me one of the greatest nuis-
ances in society. She stuffs her poor lit
tie brain with the doings and sayings of
one individual. Of one period. and when
an effort is made to switch her off 10
general topics of the day she founders.
If any real fun or any real culture re-
suited from frantic lungs Intellectually /
would not say a word, but | cannot i'm
agine a sight more pathetic thar that OF
the clubwoman pursued by other club
women hawk-eyedly watching to see how
she is to get out of some literary hole
into which they have with one accord
showed the poor thing
She wiggles, she squirms, n when,
half dead with fright, she reaches terra
firma, she means over herself as an intel
lectuaI failure. The other club darlings
rally around her with soft soap, egging
her on.
She sIumps so beautifully that she fur
nishes food for comment throughout en-
tire clubland for days after.
And the critics, are they any brighter?
Well, whether they are or not does not
help matters in the slightest. Their time
is coming. They know they will be brand
ed. This does not shut their mouths.
They talk all the faster, realizing as they
do the fate that awaits them.
What self-abnegation to belong to a
literary club
What a species of modern inquisition to
put each other on the rack as women are
constantly doing.
How lovely to wear saekcloth and ashes
Intellectually as a penance for being a
new womani
How delightful for hubby and the chill
dren to nave the angel of their home ak
ing deep doses of mental culture
joy the lover must experience
when tied down to the latest literary club
soarings of his best grill
And what a friend. what a companion
the searcher after truths must be to some
other woman who encounters the dear
creature fresh from her researches,
1t is all very, very funny to me. To tie
clubwoman a matter of grave import.
For the time being she feels herself a
female Atlas. The world will never be
one whit the better for her pose. Con-
vince her of this if you can.
The subject of floor coverings is one of
the most perplexing in furnishing. espe-
cially when expense must be carefully
considered.
1t too often happens that some make
shift is recommended as inexpensive,
which turns out to be neither durable nor
practical.
Very frequently denim is mentioned as