The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1898-03-02
Everybody is for war.

UuctiOup VE tVO Wauy PooP4e, 1~'
how. the people are reconciled to have
anything for change and war is in
v;ted.
There is no great patriotic upheaval
like we had in the sixties, no singing
Of songs nor weaving of cockades, it
seems to be business something to
relieve the pressure.
Me and Brown have been reading up
on the crusades of the olden times,
and it strikes ns that these crusades
were instituted to thin cut the people
and stop production they done it.
Millions went upon these crusadcs
at different periods and but few that
went ever returned Thus the popu-
lation was thinned from time to time
before the discovery of America.
When America was discovered the
crusades ceased. They were no longer
necessary to the thinning Of Europe's S
population-instead Of the crusades
they dumped their surplus population
over here.
At last we have come to the place
that America can stand no more.
They must either revive the crusades
or find another dumping ground for
their surplus population, or some
ether plan by which twill be thinned.
Spain has adopted a policy that will
soon solve the problem as far as she is
concerned, and perhaps the matter
may lead to relief Of America at the
same time Anyway, l know that
great many people are anxious for
war and to "cuss'' Spainsis popular in
these parts.
don't care for any war, but [ am
right glad to have something that |
can abuse. 1t las been SO for quite
while that we had nothing to S'cuss. .
We had exhausted the yankee and the
North. Long ago I had quit spelling
negro with two 'sg's,' the Chinaman
and dago and everything else has out
grown our abuse, till it has been
mighty hard to get up any interest, so
that now it does us proud to cuss"
Spain and ''cuss'' her hard.
While I am monstrous glad for
something to abuse, and am in it, you
4 bet, yet I feel bound to warn the
young generation against carrying the
thing too far. War is bad thing,
aud sometimes we are terribly deceived
about the other fellow. 1t is mighty
hard times and hard for fellow to get
along, but I will tell you that there is
mighty few easy places to be found in
the war. I knew good fellow that
/ tried every branch of service in the
Confederacy for an easy place, aud
died in disgust and blaming himself
for being the fool he was In making
his changes.
When the war first broke out this
fellow joined the cavalry. He got
him an easy riding horse and pranced
around through Tennessee drinking
buttermilk as only cavalry could drink,
till he got SO big and fat that it was
misery-he thought--for him to ride
at all. Nothing would do but what he
must make change, and so he got a
transfer from cavalry to heavy artil-
lery and went to Savannah. He lay
around on the coast eating oysters till
he got fattcr than ever and lazier than
ever and complained according;
At Savannah this fellow had pic
mic, if he had only known it. but he
grumbled so at throwing up breast
works and lifting heavy guns till he
actually grew to believe that it was a
terrible place, and bemoaned the fates
that had caused him to leave the cav
airy and the cool breezes of Tennes
see and cussed himself according.
He felt sure there was some easy
branch Of service and became deter
mined to find that branch. To this
end he went to work for another trans
fer. This time he was transferred to
flying artillery and went on his way to
Virginia in great glee, arriving there
just in time to take hand in the
Seven Days fight around Richmond.
When the Seven Days fgha had
ended he went out and found lone
some log and there he spent whole
day in cussing himself and pulling out
his hair, once and awhile butting his
head against the log as punishment
for being the biggest fool in the whole
Southern Confederacy, and to such
an extent did be carry this frenzy.
pulling his hair, grittius his teeth,
jumping up and down, foaming at the