The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1898-04-21
"sULrANrcALLY HEAvENLY.y
A Washington Maiden's Exclamation
After Hearing "A Reporters Yarn.

A Washington Matden's Exclamation
After Hearing "a Reporters Yarn.
From the Washington Star.
Newspaper men always seem to me to
be such entrancingly mysterious, things,
you know" said the beautiful Washington
maiden to one of 'em. Il never get through
wondering just how they do-how they
find out these queer things that we read in
the papers, you know Now, l suppose you
just walk around, and when you see any
thing or hear something you just write it
down and have it printed in your paper
isn't that the way it's done?"
Precisely. None of us have any boss,
top man, head-knocker or anything like
that, of course. Do just as we please, all
of us. Never get any instructions from any
body. When we want to write we Just
write, and what we write goes. We don't
pay any attention at all, you know, to the
editor, the managing editor, the city editor
and all the rest of that crew. Just do any
thing we like, write anything we like,
roast anybody we like Tor, don't like, rath-
err and have deuce of good time all
around. Now, L m reporter you see Well
Il get up about II o'clock in the fore-
noon, after having taken chocolate and
roll in bed, and put myself in the hands of
me man. Me man finishes shaving me and
fixes me up within an hour, and by noon,
after critically surveying me all over, he
turns me loose, the thing of beauty that
you see before you. On my way down
town. always walk for the sake of the
exercise-I am usually detained a bit by
sumptuously attired ladies, who can't re-
sist the temptation to stop their carriages
when they see me, in order to find out
what's really taking place in the upper
strata. Before going on down to the Office
usually drop in for minute or so upon
Mr. Mckinley, who generously refrains
from embarrassing me by commenting at
too great length upon how much he liked
my stuff in yesterdays paper.I nod haugh-
tily to the managing editor as | pass into
my suite of ORIGINALLY furnished offices, and
spend ten minutes or so in sorting over the
pile of scented, violet-hued notes that all
ways await my attention. By this time
there's usually word in the Office that an
atrocious murder has been committed
somewhere over in the Umptheast ! stroll
over to the scene of the crime-stopping at
my florists for a fresh boutonnere on the
way-and get the facts Then / return to
the office in a brougham, sent after me by
the managing editor, and dictate what I've
ascertained about the murder to a three
hundred-words-a-m shorthand man. If
the murder hasn't been quite bad enough
to suit my sanguinary tastes I touch 1t up
a whole lot and make it look pretty bad for
all hands mixed up in it, Then smoke a
couple of Persian cigarettes in the seclu-
sion of my olive-and-gold office, tossing off
a leading editorial or so upon the Cuban
question or Hawaiian annexation as /
smoke just to keep from being bored.
my trap is at the door of the Office by
this time, and / step into it and permit
myself TO be whirled up to the capitoE
move around, among the Legislators for
an hour or so, warding off their eager in
quiries as to what's going on at the execu-
tive mansion as best / can treat them
all impartially, so as not to excite jealousy
among them. After a half-hour siesta,
during which recline on a morocco leath-
er couch In one of the Senate's committee
rooms, l am fooled back to the office
where l find the managing editor some
what wrought up because all of the re-
porters have declined TO go to a big fire
few blocks away because it's raining
To save the managing editor and the city
editor both from losing their jobs, ! vol
unteer to go to and cover the fire, and
they overwhelm me with their grateful
a few brilliant short editorial paragraphs.
If there's a big criminal trial in progress
l take a run over to the court house to
see that the judge is conducting the case
so that the man the paper wants con-
victed shall be convicted. On leaving the
court house feeling the need of a bit Of
recreation ] usually hail cab and Attend
one or two burnt-orange or cerise teas
given by legation ladies or cabinet minis
ters' daughters. I have to be on my met
tie on these occasions. for all of the ladies'
depend upon me for the latest esoteric in
formation on literature, art and good
form. By this time l am some W bat wear
led; so / generally telephone to che editor
that I'll not return to the Office, and in
struct him to let me know by special
mounted messenger II anything big han.
pens-addressing me, of course, at the
Elite Club. where I have me chambers
"Then ] come down here and make my
devOirs to you"
Why how perfectly sulianically heav-
enly!" exclaimed the beautiful maiden
And how deep you must have 10 ber'
-----e --o--e-------