The age-herald., 1898-01-30
TECHNICS FROM
 CURRENT TOPICS.

| When one begins to discuss matrimonial
 commissions or any other sociological mat
 ter which relates to marriage. the natural question arises In every observant mind.
 "Why are not more husbands and wives
 congenial?" 'Why do men and women
 insist upon wedding their opposites, oppo-
 sites in temperament, tastes. mental
 dowment and fancies?' These questions
 can never be satisfactorily answered. nor
 is there any reason to expect an alteration of this condition. As long as men and
 women continue to marry and be given in
 marriage, the same rules governing the se- l lection of husbands and wives will remain l in force. Still, it is an interesting prob i lem, viewed from a philosophical outlook. f It is explained generally, that many very | intellectual men prefer as daily compan- | ions wives who make no pretense to more
 than the ordinary intelligence; that after
 the mental excitement of their literary.
 professional, business or political labors,
 they need rest and quiet, and prefer wives who feed them well and keep their homes in perfect order That they do not want | to make companions and comrades of l their wives, but they need good cooks, housekeepers and nurses.
 An observant philosopher cannot credit l this view of the question: for the enjoy
 ment of intellectual men, of all the forms 1 of the development of the mental powers,
 is too keen and apparent for any one to | fhat tba orit af in 1 tentionally yoke themselves so unequally. l Most men and women are the victims | of circumstance, matrimonally and other wise and rule or set of rules can be | formulated which would altar this | fact. If one claims that very early mar
 riages responsible for much uncongen- | iality, there will spring before the minds | eye perhaps a dozen examples of the hap l piest and most satisfactory marriages,
 which were consummated when the wives
 were not more than sixteen or seventeen | years of age and the husbands barely
 past their twenty-first birthdays. Together
 these couples have grown broader-minded l larger-hearted, nobler-lived; their brains l have kept pace with each other, and they | often stand in middle life and old age 1 ideal opponents of congenal marriage. But, notwithstanding these examples, youth does have much to do with the in-
 compatibility of later life.
 l Young people meet, fancy each other,
 imagine that life without each other would l be dismal, bowling wilderness; never stop | to inquire if they have a single idea in common; find it inexpressibly fascinating l to be together at irregular intervals and
 then conclude that all the coming years
 will be filled with just the same ecstacy 1 and bliss. They marry, there is an abund-
 ance of orange blossoms, wedding marches, pretty rousseau, and more than a plenty some of them soon dscover-of years
 with not much music, except lulabys, few | flowers, fewer clothes, and perhaps an ab- solute absence of every sympathetic taste l and instinct.
 l Few women can be expected to expand mentally or soulfully under such strain | and stress. With a man it is different. He | goes daily out into the broad world; his | intellectual faculties are cultivated by con- | tact with his fellow men. While he is l growing and expanding, perforce his wife remains in many cases just the same lit- | tlo girl that he married, only without | beauty, and with many more years to her
 credit. The husbaad has simply outgrown
 his wife, without any intention on his l part to be disloyal.
 l The secret of matrimonial happiness is I @ thorough and absolute congenality of | sympathies and tastes, intellectually and otherwise.
 1 This does not signify that every wife
 must be literary or must be very highly l cultivated along the same lines with her husband, but that woman who permits her. self to lose interest in those things which
 make life for her husband Is making serious blunder. Every wife cannot be Madame de Staeq or Sarah Grand-heaven | be praised-in intellectual endowments, but | she can with very little exertion be in 1 touch with the times, be up-to-date, and | therefore continue fascinating to the man l she has married. Men are not naturally | reminiscent; the past does not possess l great charms for them, but they of neces-
 sity are part and parcel of the great | throbbing, vital present. The matrimonial | happiness of the world would be increased
 several fold by the wives of this century | keeping abreast with the interests and 1 activities of the day. Not that they are | all to become club women politicians
 
 l or charity workers or public figures in the | slightest way, only that they shall determ-
 inc not to remain grown-up children, mak- ing house. of sand along the shores of life, ! which the 1Acoming tide of progress washes | away in light
 Every woman should be the essential companion and friend of her husband and
 sons; their equal in strength and force of
 character, and as far as in her lies, their
 peer in intellectual development.
 l She is taking tremendous risk when
 she permits their lives to be complete with | out her advice, her sympathy and her | companionship.
 No man or woman should even contem- plate matrimony who regards a wedding as i the end and aim of his or her existence.
 Tt ;sI hut tl,a hao If nOiuf