davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1898-01-08
WIT N

-Friend-"You are so dreadfully
cross-eyed. I don't see how you can
shoot straight" Cross-Eyed Sports
mani fire both barrels at once
Boston Traveller.
why has Slasher named his pic
ture British Deer?'" HE was afraid
some one would say that American deer
don't have legs like those of his DEER
Chicago Record.
II understand now" said the Eng
lish visitor on the stock exchange, why
you Americans have developed the
game of football to such a fine point
Philadelphia North American.
Tie devoted his immense fortune
to the perpetuation of his memory"
"You don't say SOP" ayes, he left it in
such shape that every dollar of it will
be litigated over."-Detroit Journal.
-"Golf." remarked the young man
who is w~earisomely blase, els n Of
the very few games that do not fatigue
me-" what is the reason for that?"
81 never learned to play it."-Washing-
ton Star.
Wont you play something, Null
lins2" asked Kilduff, m%otioning toward
the piano. ~ hardly like to while Col.
Gore is here" as he severe in his critl-
cism?" "Yes; and he carries a pistol"
Harlem Life.
Brother Sontext-"Well, Brother
Stiremup, will they raise your salary
this year?" Brother Stiremup-"Well,
I don't know about this year; they
haven't finished raising ii for last year
yet."-Richmond Times.
-"She is a very business-like woman"
remarked n young man. Yes" re
piled the other; but l admire a cling
ing nature" Then you ought TO see
her some time, when she is trying to
hold OF to a dollar."-Washington Star.
Mrs. Hashleigh-"My husband used
to say that / made the best coffee in the
world" The Dyspeptic Boarder-"Oh!
! wouldn't dream of questioning that,
madam; but there is a vast difference
between making and creating coffee"
Puck.
~ am told" remarked Mrs. Cay
enne. that you said some very clever
things last evening" yes" replied
Willie Wishington; sit is very discour-
aging" what is?" The surprised
manner in which everybody is talking
about it."-Washington Star.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1898-01-08
HIS BUSY DAY.
u Is Easier to Forget Some ThfnGs
Than to Remember Them.

~ -
Than to Remember Them.
The business man was very much oc-
cupied when one of his acquaintances
came in.
81 want to ask you" began the caller,
but the other, without looking up,
waved one hand back of him and re-
uced the friend to silence. After wait
ing half a minute the visitor tried again.
II won't take much Of your time" he
said. This is something too important
to be neglected or I'd go away and come
again"
81 suppose there's no use of my trying
TO get through with this before dark.
anyhow" was the rejoinder with a sigh.
I'm sorry it's necessary to interrupt
you"
"Oh, it's all right. When l come to
think of it, I wouldn't know whether |
had the right answer when got
through"
"You could easily have the bookkeep-
er verify 1t, couldn't your"
"No. ! tried the bookkeeper on It. He
didn't know any more about It than !
did,"
isn't it anything connected with
business?"
mo. If it were I'd be comparatively
serene. Business isn't the only thing
in life"
HIt's a great deal of II, though"
The calculator rang for the office
boy and when he appeared said:
Thomas. you take this two-dollar bill
and buy me as many works on arithme-
tic as you can for it," Then turning to
hfc friand vuffh fha mir IF n nr0ac.O1aG.
toner, he said:
why do men engage in business?"
ITO make money"
"And what do we want with money?
We want independence and respect. We
want to feel that we can hold up our
heads in the world, and not be obliged
to face humiliation. The purposes of
this calculation. distant from business
though It may. be, are the same. have
a boy who has done well in his studies
and who does me the honor to ask my
advice every once in awhile. Most boys
don't do hat. They think it's impos-
sible for their fathers to know very
much owing TO the misfortune they la
bored under in not having the same
school-teachers. This boy Of mine re-
marked the other day that he was go
ing to take up cube root to-day. Have
you tried TO extract any cube roots
since you left SCHOOL,"
The caller answered in the negative.
Then you don't know how much you
have forgotten. It's a heap easier TO
learn to extract a cube root in the first
place than it Is to remember It again
after You have gotten out of practice.
But I'm going to keep at 1t. Tonight
he'll come home with some examples to
do and Napoleon, when he started for
st. Helena. didn't feel a bit worse than
/ will If / have to lay down my lead pen
Gil and paper and own up that I can'tdo
them."-Detroit Free Press.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1898-01-08

don't you go inside the gallery" 'Oh,b
they say, 1--WE don't know whether we
can get in" 1 say: Don't you see
the door is openP" YES" they say,
but we have been so long upon these
cold steps, we are so attached to them
we don't like to leave" But" 1 say,
ait is SO much brighter and more beau
tiful in the gallery, you had better go
in" No" they say. 1--WE know exact
ly how it is out here, but we don't
know exactly how it is inside"
So we stick to this world as though
we preferred cold drizzle to warm
habitation, discord to cantata. sack
cloth to royal purple-as though we
preferred a piano with fou or five of
the keys out of tune to an instrument
fully attuned-as though earth and
Heaven had exchanged apparel, and
earth had taken on bridal array and
Heaven had gone into deep morning,
all its waters stagnant, all its
harps broken, all chalices cracked at
the dry wells, all the lawns slop-
ing to the river plowed with graves,
with dead angels under the furrow.
Oh, 1 want to break up my own infat-
~uation, and 1 want to break up your
own i~nfatuation with this world. I
tell you, if we are ready, and If our
work is done, the sooner we go the
better, and If there are blessings in
longevity | want you to know right
we'll there are also blessings in an alb
breviated earthly existence.
If the spirit of this sermon is true,
how consoled you ought to feel about
members of your family that went
early. Taken from the evil to come"
this book say What a fortunate es-
cape they had. How glad we ought to
feel that they will never have to go
through the struggles which we nave
had to go through. They had just
time enough to get out of the cradle
and run up the s~pringtime hills of this
world and see how they looked, and
then they started for a better stopping
place. They were like ships that put
in at st. Helena, staying there long
enough to let passengers go up and see
the barracks of Napoleon's captivity,
and hen hoist sail for the port of their
own native land. They only took this
world in transitu. 1t is hard for us.
but it is. blessed for them,
And if the spirit Of this sermon is
true, then we ought not to go around
signing and grooming when another
year is going; but we ought to go down
on one knee by the milestone and see
the letters and thank God hat we are
1856 miles nearer home. We
ought not to 20 around with
morbid feelings about our health
or about anticipated demise.
We ought to be living not according
to that old maxim which 1 used to
hear in my boyhood, that you must
live as though every day we're the last;
you must live as though you were to
live forever, for you will. Do not be
nervous lest you have to move out of Q
shanty into an ALEXANDRIA
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1898-01-08
LoosER GLOVES ARE WORN.
Those That Fit Tightly Are pneoH,-
Portable In Cold Weather.

Those That Fit Tightly Are pneoH,-
Portable In Cold wea ther.
Gloves are worn much looser than for
merry. This is well, since the weather
has begun 10 be quite nipping. Moth
ing Is colder than O tight glove. II
makes free circulation of the blood i'm
possible, and, In addition to being de-
cidedly uncomfortable, makes the hand
lock cramped and deformed. Castor
gloves IRE the thing for street wear.
They are made of a heavy, but soft IN
dressed kid. and are far warmer than
dogskin. They slip on and off easily.
and are modish in the extreme. Gray is
the flvorite color with women who
have large allowances, but that color
soils easily, and the soft shades of tan
prove more acceptable TO those who
have to count every cert before and
after 1t Ia expended. Castor gloves can
be bought in stock Utmost anywhere
for 81 or SIPS per pair. but II Is cheaper
In the end TO have them made TO order
at a regular glove store. This can be
done for $l.75, and the purchaser is
then sure of getting a glove made from
a perfect skin ard also of being well
fitted. Great displays OF highly col:
ored LID gloves are being made, but U
sees very few women wearing them.
Cc,orcd gloves. like colored wells,
stamp their wearer with the mark, II
rot OF downright ~vulgarity, at least OF
bad taste. Soft shades OF tan and brown
are the best form for street wear, while
dainty pearl and gray tones are vying
with white for the first place for dress
occasions. Suede Is coming more and
more into use. American women are
the best shod women in the world, but
they will never be considered the best
gloved women SO long as they stick to
the cold, llfeless glace hand covering
that they prefer to the suede-Chicago
Times-HerAld,
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1898-01-08
The rowers OF Llnula AIr.

A tablespoonful of liquid air, poured
on about a fluid ounce of whisky, will
freeze it at once iuto fiat scales, giving
the whole the appearance and color Of
cyanide of potassium. This may be
emptied out on 4 table and will remain
frozen in that condition for fully five
minutes. One thing that impresses one
is, hat while all molecular motion is
practically arrested at this tempera-
ture, the odor is perfectly distinct,
showing that these particles which
stimulate the sense of smell are active
and independent of the temperature.
A handkerchief of either silk, linen or
cotton, saturated with the liquid, viii
be charred and destroyed, Just The same
as if it were put in an oven and Drowned,
though no change of color is apparent.
Its evaporation is quite slow, and it
may he carried about for a numbepof
hours In an open vessel without entirely
disappearing. 1t probably represents
a compression of about 700 atmos-
pheres. and would therefore. in a con-
fined space and at 60 degrees tempera-
ture, represent a pressure ofsomewhere
from 10000 to $4,000 pounds to the
square inch.-Goldcn DAYS.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1898-01-08
Already Rsunrhah-

The last joke at the expense of the
French society for the Protection of An
finals is to the following effect:
A countrymen, armed with an I'm
mense club, presented himself before
the president of the society and claimed
the first prize. He was asked to describe
the act of humanity on which he found
ed his claim.
81 have saved the life of a wolf" re-
piled the countryman. ST might easily
have killed him with this bludgeon,"
and he swung his weapon in the air, TO
the intense discomfort of the president.
"But where was this wolf?" inquired
the latter. "yYhat had he done to your"
"He had just devoured my wife" was
the reply.
The president reflected an instant,
and then said:
"My friend. I am of the opinion that
you have been sufficiently rewarded."-
Pittsburgh Dispatch.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1898-01-08
sHERIFF,s SALE IN PARTITION.

Albert Tvrne. Plaintiff,
versus
EnzabeLb Hartman. Glenn Tyree, William r.
Iyree, Nellie YOunRs nee Tyree. and Elmer
foungs, her husband, and Stella Vickars,
nee Tv~ n lanes s. Vickara. her nus
band, Defendants,
By virtue 80 90 order Of sale issued from
the ofhee of the clerk If The circuit court ~
Lafayette county. Missouri, I'm favor OF said
Albert Tyree. plaintiff. and against said BliEa.
bttn Hartman elem Tyree, William p Tyree.
Nelite Youngs. nee Tyree. and Elmer YOiinRs.
her husband. and Stella Vickars, nee Tyree.
aud James y. Vicka :. her husband. defen-
dantS. TO me directed, and r~eturnabie TO tho
December term, 1876, Of said circuit court of
sa'd Lafayette county. Missouorl, i, tho
Undersigned. sheriff, Will ON
TUESDAY. JANUARY 1Ith. 1893.
between the hours Of nine O'Clock ia the fore
noon ana nve O'Clock in the afternoon OF said
day, and In front of the c5urt house door, IA
MISSOURI, during the session OF said circuit
court al It's said December term. sell publicly
Al auction. 70 the highest bidder for cash IA
hand, all the right. title. interest, claim and
estate OF the said plaintiff and defendants IN
said order Of sale in and 10 the following
described real estate. situate. lying and being
IN the county of Lafayette, and state Of MIS-
$Ourl. to-wit: the southwest quarter Of fh0
lOrth west quarter OF Z section 4. TOWNSHIP q.
ange ~; alSn the southeast quarter OF fh0
nrtneast quarter Of section 5, In sud town
'hlp %. In said range 20
Given under my hand this 10th day of De-
ceinber' 1897. JOHN A. FULKELSON.
Sheriff.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1898-01-08
Asthma from AsparnKua.

Among the curiosities of medical lit.
erature are the stories, many of them
we'll authenticated, of the peculiar sus-
c~eptibility of certain unfortunate in
dividuals TO certain odors and emana-
lions. Among the substances which
have been known to have produced at
tacks Of spasmodic asthma are roses,
musk. tea. ipecauanha, the odor of a
cat. fried fish, the dust of oats, malt.
rice. feathers, wool and that caused In
the demolition OF old houses. DR.. Eu-
gene Deschamps has added asparagus
to the long list. He has published a
full clinical report of a victualler over
40 years of age who suffers from evere
spasmodic attacks of coughing when
ever he attempts to prepare raw as
Daragus for the cook.-N. Y. Herald.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1898-01-08
Weekly lnteIligenctl
TALMAGE'S SERMON.
The Blessings of an Abbreviated Earth
ly Existence.
Comforting Thoughts for Those Who Have
Lost Chldren-The Days Work Fin-
ished Early in the Morning
Storms of Life Avoided.

From an unusual standpoint DR.. Tai
mage offers comfort at the loss of chill
dren, and this sermon must be a bal
sam for many wounds. His text is
Isaiah lvii., 1: 1.-The righteous is taken
away from the evil to come"
We all spend much time in panegyric
of longevity. We consider it a great
thing to live to be an octogenarian. If
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1898-01-08
Fails VIM sso,ooo.ooo capItal.

HARRISBURG, Pa, Jan. John NJ.
Dale, of Bellefonte, Pa, was appointed
receiver of the Pennsylvania Building
& Loan association, of Altoona. 1t
has an authorized capital of $50, 900, coo
and assets of SI17,649. 1t has been In
Die for some time.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1898-01-08
True Happiness In Potatoes,

London has a Womau's Vegetarian
club whose business 1t Is to teach the
esthetics of this form of diet. In its
mental aspect vegetarianism is, il seems,
the DOT of all great attachments. One
gains happiness. health, and a love OF
all around, q sympathy. the desire to
lend q helping hand to others. a perfect
unity OF soul by partaking only of this
food. Who would suppose. If they had
not been told. that beans and potatoes
would bring about such a de,ectable
statei-IndianapoliS Journal.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1898-01-08

W~arwics-There are just 2.7os dis
eases known TO exist,
Mrs. Warwick-Why, how do you
know?
AZ counted them. l just got nm al
manac advertising Boggs'Bile Booster"
Up To Date.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1898-01-08
MIR. PulIman's Funeral EXPENSES.

CHICAGO, Jan. S.-NOrman Il. Ream
and Robert T. Lincoln, executor OF
the estate of the late Mr.. Pullman,
have fled a claim in the probate court
against the estate for S7,s2S. The
claim is for expenses at the time of
the death of Mr.. Pullman. October 10.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1898-01-08
TO PREPARE a HYaIENlc DIET.
Practical Hints for Housekeepers
and Hotel Chefs.

One should eat little or no meat, Us 1t
heats the blood, orertasks the stomach.
and develops the sensual tastes and pro-
pensities. II Is we'll to eat very little.
If any, of breads or foods made from
cereals, as they clog the blood and in
time starve the brain, causing paresis.
Vegetables contain little nutriment,
and the stomach is distended from d.
costing SO large q bulk yielding so lit
tie nourishment.
Fruits, according 10 at least one prom
inent authority. who has written a
book on the subject, are fit to be eaten
only by those who live In & tropical cli-
mate, where fruit grows to nearly a
perfect condition. In temperate zones
it contains so much acid that 1t brings
ruin to the digestive organs, causing
dyspepsia and also enfeebles the blood.
Nuts contain o much oil and are hard
to digest.
Cheese aud the products of milk are
unhealthful TO an extreme. As q food
cheese must absolutely be avoided.
Fish food causes thin blood and scrofu-
la-and In fact q man cannot eat fish
food and remain in health.
The foregoing facts have been con-
densed from writings on foods. diet and
hygiene. If the hotel steward and chef
can evolve q cuisine that steers clear Of
the foods herein mentioned he will NO
doubt set a healthful table for his
guestsi-Hotel World.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1898-01-08
Might as Well

Jenny-Mis' Muzzy, ma wants to bor-
row a little -four. w eggs. q cup OF
sugar. and
Mrs. M.-You go home and tell your
mother she'd better wait a little whilS
and come over and take the cake.-Phil-
odelphia Bulletin.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1898-01-08

New YoRK, Jan. s.-Rev. DR.. Francis
Joseph Schneider, Lutheran, without
any church attachment, has broken
the record for marrying couples the
past year, since January, 1897, he has
married 6ss couples, most OF them Ger
mans
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1898-01-08

one be pleasantly
circumstanced, he
never wants to go.
William Cullen Bry-
the great poet,
lat 81 years of age,
standing in my
house in a festal
grou p, reading
1T h a atopsis
without s~pectacles,
was just as anxious
to live as when at
IS e a of age he
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1898-01-08
Am OPEN LETTER

10 the Citizens Of Lexington and Tlcintty
We take this means of announcin,
that our mills are now in operation
grinding out the very best grades o
Flour, Meal and Bran. We have lOcatef
our mills here az a permanent Lexing
ton institution, and expect to make j
o OF our objects, to build up and ad,
TO Lexington's commercial interests
we shall not attempt TO do bushes.
solely on a local pride" basis, but pre-
fer that our products shall be judge,
solely by the standard of merit. Appeal
ing TO your local pride we ask YOU {,
give our goods n fair trial. Should the,
prove as good as other mills are making
He hope and feel that yon will be on
patrons.
To the Farmers:
We will do an exchange business Will
yOa and guarantee satisfaction.
Thanking the citizens for the encour.
agement given our Institution, and hop.
in9 10 merit your confidence and patron
age, We ARE respectfully.
GRAVES BROS.
n. B.-Our goods for sale by all gro.
GERS In city.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1898-01-08
FrIIis for the Fair Ser.

Plush spot and velvet spot effects are
being produced for early spring weal
in both worsted and cotton dress goods
The spots are several inches apart and
the fabric is made onthe welt-p!le prin.
ciple.
Plain velvet makes up into stylish
garments that give excellent wear.
Pulled ~velvets in red and green tones
and checked and plaid ~velvets are pop
ular and make stylish blouses and bod
ices.
Among the new shades are six tones
of gendarme blue, from the deep, dull.
colors to q pale, pearly gobelin tint.
Some lovely forget-me-not shades are
seen in the pale blues and three exqui-
site turquoise tints are strongly i'm
bued with a clear green tone. Rose pink
and old rose colors are seen and
there are a dozen beautiful shades OF
soft. pure gray.-Chlcagn Record.
"Forker's Electricity Pills" sure BILL
Iiousness, indiR estion, disordered kidneys
aud kindred troubles. They aid nature.
They build up. No weakening and debii-
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1898-01-08
5HERLFES SALE IN PARTITION
.IenrY I. Rnherfs. PlnInfIR-

ver-us.
Jamie X heynolds and Allen J Reynolds her
husband. and Chris. Wagner and u. O..
PhetzinR, Ida II. 0ehrum and Joseph D
Lesueur end Daniel II. Davis. Defendants.
BY virtue OF "A renewed order OF sale made
'irruit court Of Lnfay cite county. Missouri. 4
'ettihed cCpy of which is issued from tho
hce OF the clerk OF the circuit court tf Lnfav-
rte county. Missouri. in favor Of Henry 4
'toherts plaintiff. and against Fannie 4 Rev
holds and Allen J. Reynolds. her husband. and
hris Wagner and q. q PhetzinK, Ida n.
Gehrum and Joseph %. Lesueur and Daniel n.
laws, defendants. to NC detected and return
able TO the December term. 1881, Of the sad
circuit court of Lafayette county, Missouri
1, the undersigned sheriff. Will IN
TUESDAY, JANUARY 18th, lsea.
between the hours of nine o'clOck ia the fore-
Don and i've o'clock In the afternoon % that
daS and In front of the courthouse door. I'm Tire
city OF Lexington, In Lafayette county. Mis-
SOURI,, during the session OF the sal. Circuit
court OF Lafayette county. sell publicly. bv
hand. all the right title, interest. OLAF q and
estate Of the SAID plaintiff and Defendants Ia
said order OF sale, in and to the following 49,
cribed real estate situate. lying and beinO m
the county Of Lafayette. and state of Missouri
ub-wit: The southwest quarter OF the n,srth-
west quarter OF section twenty-seven f27l. alao
sIxty-nve (65I acres, being ali that part al az
east half of the northeast quarter OF section
numbered tweft y-eigh, (25J lying south On fho
branch known as Hooks branch" All m aaf1
lands living in township forty-nIne tl0l' N
range twonty-eight C25l.
Given under nv hand this 18th day of n
JOHN A. FULKERsoE.
i2-lstd sherf6.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1898-01-08

Editors of Missouri, Arkansas and
Texas will hold a big tristate oonven.
ton at Eureka Springs, Ark, next
May, exact date to be announced later.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1898-01-08
EXCELLENT Loaf Cake.

Five pounds of -four, two pounds of
butter. u pound and fourteen ounces
of sugar, half a pint of wine, u quart
of milk, four eggs, three gills of emp.
tyings, half an ounce of nutmeg. and
two pounds and q half OF raisins. Rub
the whole of your butter into your -four
first, and then half your sugar; when
well rubbed together put in your emp.
tyings, milk and eggs; when light put
In your wine and remaining sugar, and
your raIsins with your spice In, aud let
It rise again before'you bake it, frosting
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1898-01-08

AulI q Wilson keep the choicest tea,
aad oonees on the market. Give them b
call. 5.22tf
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1898-01-08

Women sometimes wear gloves to
hide uncomely hands, Washington
namonrot
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1898-01-08

bicycles IN Europe and America.
1t is estimated that 100000 bicycles
have been built in Europe and America
up TO notwithstanding Press.
The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1898-01-08

Insurance.

Next few months are times
for Cyclones, Tornadoes ano
Hurricanes. Protect yourself
from loss by purchasing at
insurance policy. Rates are
lower now on town property
than ever before. Winsor vii
fix up these policies for you
See