The herald., 1898-10-09
Some PeCullafltlcs of
Fresh Ranch Eggs


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By MoGABoOM
Unless something now quite unfore-
, , seen and far beyond the range OF hu-
man ken should step In to prevent IT, an
occurrence Of more than passing interest
is shortly to take place in this commu-
nifty.
1t is known to but few persons. per-
haps, that for some time have BEEN
having built at my miniature ranch in
the suburbs Of this city. accommoda-
tions for a limited number of chickens.
Yet such is really the case. Within
; short space of time no less than dozen
; Of these ferocious birds will be seen
within the small enclosure have had
prepared.
have gone into this thing advisedly.
It is not the result of any sudden i'm
pulse, but rather the natural outgrowth
Of a yearning which has grown UP grad
; ually within me; an honest. earnest de-
sire to learn something Of the habits
and customs Of fresh ranch eggs. For
some time past an intense longing has
possessed me to be the author OF a new
style of fresh ranch egg; one which can
be depended upon not to peep the IN
slant the shell Is broken; one that can
be soft boiled and exposed to the air
without exciting the suspicious of the
health officer.
The study Of the fresh ranch egg OF
commerce is interesting, but not always
pleasant. Experience has taught us
that the fresh ranch egg will not retain
its freshness forever, but will, in time.
become merely ranch egg, and mot so
very ranch at that. This knowledge Is
not so universal as it should be, 1t seems
to me. The change takes place inside
the egg There Is no sign of it upon the
outside. In fact, the sign on the out
side remains always the same-"Fresh
Ranch Eggs for Sale Here"
4 Occasionally we find things on the
ID bargain counters that are. indeed, gen.
etuine bargains. Not so with the fresh
e ranch egg. Once 1t becomes trifle
anhopworn, 1t is dear at any price. The
in ;g that Is too old for an omelette, and
any III has a market value, must be a
so :, so to speak. The merchant who
late wd advertise clearance sale of eggs
leir Ander to make room for his new fall
81, would make more money and en-
lily; 10y confidence of his fellow man more
, to ..osed the store and got job as a
the hand. An egg is either good or 1t
US 10 God. There Is no safe middle
blv ground
ack ~ ,'connection, however, I recall
lge, NIUE Dry about the new minister
wer on nls call at the home of Deacon
'lor Sn.iil n ; remains to tea, of course.
the anu inner everlastingly throws
too nerseii on spread. Everything pro-
lth, ceeus JUS ely until the deacon I'M
Die, Mi'.n,siy ne the minister to an egg
is 'n"' 10 " uHtasse. He doesn't say a
lip, woiu' 'ne e,inister doesn't, but the
TO ueaeo" - na hard time keeping
US ~ running in pleasant
a' ",- .tty soon the paper
IN pesihe W pee from the walls and
ses lhe slase W, ne front yard COM
ke- iienoes " "''ne, and die. Then the
yer deacon says III dhsy, off-hand way:
are ish 'ha' ese lie off, elder? Let
but me help you to an or onon
it The new minister ,,,s+ . +r;ea ON
ese barrassed himself, 81. doosn,t lilo
ng, to show 1t. He WANT x,oLo cod
lis impression upon the ooor haoouco
an he is thinking of askf for a roioo IN
his salary as soon as cots 1;t+,o
ass, bit better acquainted W tho neon1e
ltal His stomach is turning hanr,,as and
alb his eyes are beginning to ~ ~ h',t = o
heroically hoists in anothe noorf,,1 If
uty the aged egg, and says plea Nv. "Not
is at all bad, Brother Skinnei, NJ at oil
re- bad, I assure you. In fact, no narts
hit. of it are excellent, indeed" "A he oyen
ac- tries to smile.
9Th My ambition now Is to furnsA,v o,,r
EN- table with eggs that have notoss "a 40
sell age limit; that have not beol, ont
'hu ia"eu' as IL WERE shah ehetor to
an be reasonable about the nt,, ~
po- course. It is not my intentit T, ON
ge, ploy detectives to shadow the ms ord
m neither shall I compel them t.p,,,sh
ON certificates Of deposit, or swol s,ata-
ments of circulation, but I'll lev.r-
lastingly blowed if I don't get that
can tell, with a reasonable amt of
70 assurance, whether l am eating iellv
.ral omelette or spring chicken, ri
| ~ know the reason why.
will I may state here that this ~,
Ma not be my first experience with 90
Several years ago, while I was como
ing that great vehicle of thought !
universal civilizer, the Fullerton a
.os had an encounter with pair of cI-
ems, and 1 do not doubt that there O
people in Fullerton today who will
remember me as the hero of that
:, citing episode. Had it taken place
war times. no doubt should have b,
followed everywhere by ladies who
sired to kiss me, and the papers wo
have been filled with poems about I
and 1 should have been advanced
Ell; points. But it occurred in time
peace, and the lades-well, they did
1t had been the custom of the 81
people of Fullerton and the surroul
ing country, ever since my advent the
to bring in all sorts of things, from
load of juniper wood to bushel of dr.
prunes, on subscription. Farmer Sto
the big hearted old joker (he's dead M
and may heaven rest his souD, lef
pair of nice, fat chickens on my do
step one day, with their legs tied
gether, and note attached which S
he guessed l would be able to use tn
for a Sunday dinner, or something
that kind.
But instead of using my best jut
ment 1 allowed my wife to hornswog
me into the notion that ought to
and raise those chickens. In order
afford them all the latitude posi-
until I could get coop made, and
the same time not put too much temp
ton in the way of a colored family Il
lived back of lis 7 united their Ieps q