davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1898-08-26
Couldn't Fool Him Twice.
(Chicago Chronicle)

hCliiNd6p tAi OhiNi~/
One joke was enough for him, even II he
was from the country. He took il good
naturedly enough when they fooled him
the first time, but like the burned child
who breads the fire. he was not to be
caught the second time, even If he had to
eat the heads Of turnip-plants.
The young fellow was from Wisconsin.
and he had come down to spend a few
days with a city cousin. He was young
barely 2O-and it was his first introduction
to urban life.
He was met at the station by his cousin,
a fellow about his own age, and this
cousins chum, and the young chaps had
made IL up that they would have some
fun before taking the country lad on a
sightseeing expedition. The first thing
was TO feed him, and even before that
a drink was proposed. The country boy
was agreeable, and though beer was
scorned upon the farm. he had frequently
partaken of its delights at the village
store But he had never quenched his
thirst the way ii was now presented 70
him. Each of the three high mugs held
a couple of yellow straws, and TO prove
that he was not easily impressed by novel
ties. he grasped his and had sucked his
draught before the other fellows had time
TO raise theirs to their lips.
He stood their hooking laughs but in
wardly determined that he would laugh
last as they did first. Soon the dinner
was ordered and served. The bread and
celery were placed upon the table. and the
country youth watched closely for signs
of practical jokes. His cousin took long,
tender bit OF celery from which the root
had not been removed. He bit into Its
crispv whiteness. and his friend did like
wise. Not so with the country. cousin
He had been teased once, and that was
sufficient
lyon don't fool me this time" he re-
marked. as he munched away at the green
tons of his celery. and. Notwithstanding
the assurances of the others that all Jokes
were over. he insists that he knew the
roots were no good. and that they could
not get him to bite" twice in one day.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1898-08-26
Returning.

(Carlotta Perry, in New York SUM-
Now from her summers little space
OF rest she comes; amid the press
OF life's unceasing strife and stress,
To take again her daily place.
And with her, through the certain door.
That shuts between that land so fair
And free, and this of toll and care.
She brings a goodly gathered store.
She brings with her the tender mood
OF twilights hour; the dawns swift
glow,
The waters ripple soft and slow.
The scent Of meadow, field. and wood.
The songs of birds at early morn,
The shadows fleet, the clouds that
pass,
sXhe comfort of the dear. green grass,
The rustic OF the waving corn.
Stray wefts of fairy gossamer,
That float upon the yagrant breeze,
The sweet small tumults in the trees.
She brings back to the town with her.
She brings. by some rare, guileless art
Simple is she and yet most wise
The summers sunshine In her eyes.
The summers sweetness In her heart.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1898-08-26
The London Times says editorially:

The London Times says edltorially:
IF half the Cuban stories are true, II
Is no wonder that the Americans are
disguised with the insurgents conduct.
The insurgent leaders make a grave mis-
take if they imagine their conduct will go
unpublished. 1t may be a troublesome
business, but America. having put her
hands to the plough, will not turn back "
The Times understands American char
acter pretty well, and the sooner the
Cubans understand it as well as the
Times does, the better it will be Tor
them
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1898-08-26
FRIDAY. .........AUGUST 26, 1898.

Friends of the Dispatch would do us
n favor by informing us promptly Of any
failure on the part of newsdealers, or
newsboys on railroad trains. TO meet the
public demand for copies Of this paper
Information is also desired by us OF the
delinquency OF any carrier Of ours in
Richmond. Manchester, or elsewhere.
Mail subscribers are likewise invited
TO report to us whenever their papers
come late or irregularly.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1898-08-26

DR. +. Benjamin Andrews, VINO was
practically forced out of the presidency
of Brown University, Rhode Island. be-
cause of the advocacy on his part of tree
silver coinage. and who is now superin-
tendent of public schools in Chicago, is TO
introduce Spanish as one OF the regular
studies in the curriculum over which he
presides. "Since we are beginning TO
spread out" he is quoted as saying, "and
take in new territory, some Of our school
boys may want to seek their fortunes
when they grow up. in these countries
wrested from Spanish control. 1t would
be greatly to their advantage to under
stand the Spanish language, which is
spoken by the common people of all those
islands"
The Doctor seems to be or the order
OF men who are wise in their day and
generation. At the same time, 1t must be
admitted that we have recently had some
success in an effort to make Spanish one
of the dead languages, so far as this
Western Hemisphere is concerned.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1898-08-26

RED a bouquet OF brides roses. The lazy
attendants and maid OF honor wore white
organdie.
After receiving congratulations, MT
and Mrs. Hunt left for their home IN
Prince Edward, and after spending a
short time there they will go to Mathews
county for the winter.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1898-08-26

Business In Santiago de Cuba after re-
vlving sharply on the cessation Of hostili
ties, is now again reported at a stand.
being afraid TO resume, it is said, mainly
because of the attitude of the Cubans and
uncertainty as TO the plans of the United
States. quite naturally they ask that The
Cuban army be disbanded.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1898-08-26
A Divorce Colony Dialogue.


Lawyer: What can I do for YOU
mad M
client: want a divorce from my nus
band.
Lawyer: Upon. what grounds DO you
desire 10 bring suit?
Client: He hasn't been faithful 20 MS
marriage vows.
Lawyer: In what particular has 10
violated them?
Client: lie promised 10 die for me and
he hasn't done it.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1898-08-26
Sir Roderlcts's Luck.


Detroit JOurnal)
"Foiledv' she shrieked. "Thc boy snli
be mine"
'carambay Kissed Sir Roderick. "Wha.
shall / doT'
Clearly he was baked IN his desigr %
possess himself OF the heir OF Pe.t'n
Manor.
Upon the morrow the circus would have
arrived. there was no time % lose.
As for borrowing a neiGhbOr's child 70
take 10 the show the neighbours children
would all be In use.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1898-08-26

The latest suggestion as TO Cuba is that
the island be made a region of concentra-
ton for the colored people in this country.
who might form State or republic
of their own there, like Liberia" but
mightn't the Cubans object, even the
blacklist of them?
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1898-08-26

From the wise and eloquent remarks of
Professor Norton, OF Harvard University,
reported in another column. we judge
that the eminent scholar referred to must
have been reading the Dispatch.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1898-08-26
The New York Herald puts il this wa

The New York Herald puts it this way
"rhis country was drawn into wal
through the proximity Of a Spanish islant
TO It's frontier. If We should keep only
Manila Bay or the Island of Luzon, there
would be about 1880 Spanish islands very
near our frontier"
The Herald. however, is an expansion,
ist OF the deepest dye.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1898-08-26

Why shouldn't we have big ship-build-
ing plant in Richmond? We have the
machinery, we have the men. and we
have the water. too.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1898-08-26

All letters and kilograms must be ad-
dressed to THE DISPATCH COMPANY
Rejected communications will not lie
returned.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1898-08-26

All letters recommending candidates
for office must be paid for 10 insure their
publication. This is a long standing rule
OF ours.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1898-08-26

Now that the war is over. the people
of Augusta county are again agitating the
question of building a new courthouse.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1898-08-26
ADVERTISING RATES.
HALF INCH OR LESS.

wanted situation, paNaulo d" ~
vance G5 words or less)........''''' -
Above rates are for every day or "o-
yertiscments running consecutlveN'
Reading notices in reading-matter VPe'
I'VE lines or less, 81: In nonpariel, 'eaded'
I'VE lines or less. 70 cents.
card OF rates for more space furnished
on application.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1898-08-26

many years, and enter permanently upon
a career OF rapid commercial and indus
trial development
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1898-08-26
TT WAS A FUNERAL.

Gradually the truth is coming out 1T
regard 20 the Qualification" incident 10
the merging. on the 18th OF August, oil
Hawaiian sovereignty with the United
States. and the confding American public
are realizing that the occasion was more
Of funeral than festival
Although II was well known that the
native Hawaiians had no say on the ques-
ton whether the islands should be an
nexed. the ring that was running the
annexation Job assured the people OF
this country that the vast majority OF
them were not only willing, but anxious
for the consummation Of the job.
III was 20 have been expected, therefore
that the natives would have thrown them
selves with great enthusiasm into the
merging" ceremonies. But not a bit OF II.
We take the statements OF the Honolulu
correspondents respectively of two OF the
most pronounced of the annexation or
gans in the United States as authority
on how the natives showed their joy
at being brought under the protecting
wing Of the American eagle. According
TO one Of these correspondents, when
the act of merging occurred there were
only six Hawaiians on the platform, ana
one Of these was a native politician and
lawyer. who came for business reasons.
Another was his wife, VINO came pc
cause he required her to-" and who bore
ND very well until the band played
Hawaii PonO" the national anthem
for the last time, when she broke down
and wept. The other natives, who were
forced TO be there" covered their eyes
when the native flag was pulled down.
and many wept The Hawaiian members
OF the band. when it came to playing the
national anthem. "threw away their In
struments and fed" and only ten men,
none of them natives, were left TO give the
music. which was weakly rendered.
According TO the other correspondent
scarcely a native stirred abroad that day
Few came near the fag-raising, and those
who did would not look at their flag as II
came down. Even then their eyes iilled
with tears. There were many Hawaiians
I'm the guard, but they hoped to be able to
avert their eyes at the critical moment,
and 50 avoid seeing what they regard as
the death Of their nation"
OF course, since Hawaii is ours we have
got to make the best of it, If, indeed, there
is any best TO make. None the less we
believe the day is coming when the Amer
lean people will wish they could wipe
out the whole annexation transaction,
even If it shall prove that the requirement
OF the islands was good policy from the
standpoint Of military and naval necessity.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1898-08-26

10 the weather man: For this relic
much thanks."
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1898-08-26
sikns.


NpeUot free ffeS<D
Have YOU noticed how wings loAfs
with the landlady these hot days
Yes he has either paid his ball. "
else he hasn't"
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1898-08-26

Resolutions OF respect to deceased
Members passed by societies. corpora
lions. associations. or other organiza-
lions will DO charged for as advertising
matter.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1898-08-26

UPTOWN OFFICE. BRoAD-sTREET
PHARMACY, $40 EAST BROAD
STREET.
MANCHESTER OFFICE. 1908 HULL
STREET.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1898-08-26

on September 18th there goes into ef-
feet in Russia a regulation that promises
an excellent opening for certain classes
of American manufacturers ito turn an
honest penny" in the Cars dominions.
Some two years ago the Russian Com
missioner Of ways and Means of Trans
portation, PRINCE Chilkoff, visited this
country on a tour of investigation, mis-
aim being to examine into the eXcellen-
cies of the American locomotive and roll
ing stock with the idea of having them
placed on the Trans-Sberian railway, and
also to see what had been done here in
the development of agricultural ma
chinery having in view its introduction
on the large farms in the interior of ST.
IBERIA, which are soon to be opened up by
the new railway. Later many hundred
American locomotives were contracted
for, and about year ago, at the sugges-
ton of Prince Chllkoff, a regulation was
promulgated. which provided that from
September 49, 1898, to December 81, 1903,
agricultural implements and machines not
now manufactured in Russia might be ad-
mitted TO that country free of duty.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1898-08-26
Chorus.

She turned that office upside down
With fingers pink and eyes OF brown
Tick. tick. tick, tick, pretty fingers hyinS
GLOW the types did sing,
And all the clerks with alteration dying
CHey for a wedding ring.
A writer like Mr. Irving Browne, who
has taste for the curiosities OF the law,
could make an interesting collection Of
verse quoted in judicial opinions
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1898-08-26
Turned the Office Upside Down.
New York SUM

The English judges, like Mr.. Wegg, seem
very much inclined 10 drop into poetry
of late. The Lord Chancellor being called
upon TO determine whether tram-cdr
must pay toll as a coach, under an old
statute relating TO a certain toll bridge,
took occasion TO quote in his opinion the
ancient bit OF verse. beginning with me
line
Then call coach, and let coach be
called"
Many specimens Of modern lyrical poe
try came before the Queens Bench III
vision of the High Court Of Justice a
short time ago. in a suit by Mr.. II. j. w.
Dam, a playwright, against Mr.. Ivan
Caryll the musical composer arising OUT
of the omission of the defendant to fur
nish the music for a new comic opera
which the parties were to produce In col
liberation, and Mr.. Justice Grantham
himself read from the bench a part OF one
Of the lyrics in controversy, which was
entitled THE Pretty Typewriter" and
began thus:
To a contingencies in old Cornhill
a maiden went a place 10 Ill.,
She came by rail from Turnham-gree
TO write upon the type-machine;
SO sweet a smile this maiden had
That all the clerks with love went mad
With fingers pink and eyes Of brown
She turned that Office upside down.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1898-08-26
EXCURSION TO WASHINGTON

MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 9Th.
BY LADIES or
GRACE-STREET BAPTIST CH-RCrr
Train leaves Broad and Hancock st-...,
at . A. NJ. Leaves Washington Mesd,,
September 9Th. at $50 L. NJ
Round-trip fare TO Washington f7n.
children, Sl.B. au i4-Su WSFr1. 70
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1898-08-26
M1MNGs;.se

the Food Drink Malt-Nutrine is pre-
pared by the famous Anheuser- Busch
Brewing Association. which fact guaran-
tees the purity, exc,n~ueA &Dd merit
claimed for It.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1898-08-26

Patients recovering from fever gain
greatly in strength and flesh by taking
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1898-10-13
TO CROSS OCEAN IN BALLOON.
German Nobleman Is Said to Have
Solved Aerial Navigation Problem.

Vienna, Oct. Tt is claimed that
the problem of aerial navigation has
been solved by a German nobleman,
Count Zeppelin, who has long inter
ested himself in ballooning. The bal
loon which he has constructed is over
300 feet in length and cylindrical in
form. 1t resembles an immense lead
pencil in shape. Inside the balloon
itself are several smaller balloons,
which will perform the same func-
tons as the water-tight compartments
ers in the far east may save SPANS
on ships. The water in the tank I'M
der the car is to be used as ballast.
The steering gear is composed OF pad
die wheels, driven by electricity, fixed
to the side of the car. Experts who
have tested the apparatus declare it to
be perfect. It will be possible with
this balloon to make voyage Of eight
days in any direction which the aero-
naut may desire. A company is being
formed with a capital of 100000 forms
to work the invention. One of its first
undertakings will be a balloon voyage
to America, which Count Zeppelin Is
certain can be completed in four days.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1898-10-13
McKINLEYS GO TO CANTON.
To Attend Funeral of Mrs Mckinley
Murdered Brother.

Washington, Oct. 9.--President and
Mrs. Mckinley left here over the Penn
sylvania railroad at 1880 o'clock last
night for Canton, O., where they will
attend the funeral of Mrs. Mckinley 8
brother, George Saxton. With them
went several relatives, Miss Helen Nc
Kinley, Mr.. and Mrs. Bowman, Mrs.
Barber, John Barber and Major Webb
Hayes. The party travelled in the pri-
Yate car Campania, which was at
tached to the rear Of the regular west
ern express and will reach Canton at
1925 this morning.
Canton, O., Oct. 9.-The funeral SER
vices over the remains of George Sax
ton, who was murdered Friday even
ing supposedly by woman, will be
held tomorrow at p. M, and will be
private for the family and immediate
friends. The funeral will occur from
the Barber home where the body was
taken Saturday.
The coroner began taking testimony
Saturday afternoon and examined sew
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1898-10-13
CHAPLAIN JACOBS RELEASED.
Milwaukee Congregational Church Re-
luctantly Accepts Resignation.

Milwaukee, Oct. S.-Rev. Herbert H.
Jacobs, chaplain of the 4th regiment,
Wisconsin volunteers, has rendered his
resignation to the Pilgrim Congrega-
ton church and it has been accepted.
Mr.. Jacobs presented his resignation
as pastor of the church when the reg
iment was ordered to Camp Douglas,
but the congregation refused to &C
cept it, in the hope that the regiment
would be disbanded upon the close of
hOstilities. When the 4th regiment
was ordered south Mr.. Jacobs came to
Milwaukee and had a long talk with
the trustees of the church, but they re-
fused to relinQuish their claim upon
him. A few days ago, writing from
Camp Admission, Mr.. Jacobs again pre-
sented his resignation, as there was
every reason to believe that the regi-
ment would not be mustered out of
service for long time to come, and
this, backed by the report that the
regiment was to go to Havana as a
part of the army of occupation, finally
led the trustees to reluctantly accept
the resignation, but not without laying
the matter before the congregation.
Mr.. Jacobs had been pastor of the
church for less than year when he
was appointed chaplain of the 4th reg
iment. Pilgrim church was his first
charge. He is a University of Wiscon-
sin graduate and studied at Oxford.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1898-10-13

suggests will bring the guard into
closer relationship with the regular
army, and make it more Immediately
effective if needed again for active
service in the national defense.
Gen. Boardman says that in the pres
ent war comparison between the reg
iments from states with z good guard
organization, and those having almost
none has shown the benefit that is to
be derived from some previous train
ing. Deprive the guard from partici-
patton as duty in the wars of the
country, and one Of the most impor-
tant and best reasons for its existence
is taken away.
Gen. Boardman makes number OF
other recommendations among them
that the governors staff be reduced
to five aides de camp, and making mil
itary experience an essential to ap-
pointment as aide. This recommend
alton would result in materially re-
ducing the number of colonies in the
state in the future. Anothc- recon-
mendation is that regular rations be
issued to the troops while at the an
nual encampment. This would accus-
tom the militiaman to the army ra-
ton, Gen. Boardman says, and have
him prepared for it when he enlists
in the United States service. Gen.
Boardman also recommends the issu-
ance of a complete field and cooking
outfit to each company, so that the
troops shall be prepared for active ser
vice at any time. Another recommen-
dation is that some legislative enact
ment be had, authorizing the direct
payment of the troops, instead of hay
ing the state treasurers advance the
money each year and having them
await an appropriation.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1898-10-13
SIMON FOR SENATOR
OREGON REPUBLICANS FINALLY
MAKE A CHOICE.
VICTOR A HEBREW LAWYER
Born in Germany in 1851 and Admitted
to Bar in Portland in 1S72-Served
in State Senate and Headed State
Central Committee-He Is a Gold
Advocate.

Salem, Ore, Oct. 9.-Joseph Simon
of Portland was Saturday elected
United States senator by the legisla-
ture in joint session to fill the vacancy
which has existed since March 4, 1897.
The ballot stood: Simon, "a; Kin
kaid, %; Bennett, 2; absent 1. Simon
is Hebrew and was born in Germany
in 1851. His education was received
in the public schools of Portland and
in 1872 he was admitted to the bar.
Simon has been an advocate OF the
gold standard. In 1880 he was elected
to the state senate. He has also been
chairman of the republican state CEN
rral committee.
This ends memorable political
fight in Oregon. Corbett was appoint
ed by the governor to fill the vacancy
after the legislature adjourned at the
last session without having been able
to agree on a man. Then the United
States senate took the unusual action
of refusing to seat Corbett. The lat
ter led on number of the first ballots
taken at this session, but when it was
seen he couldn't be elected the republi-
cans in caucus decided to vote for
Simon.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1898-10-13
GOES HOME FOR TRIAL.
Gen. Jandenes Allowed to Return to
Spain to Explain.

Gen. Jandenes Allowed to Return to
Spain to Explain.
Washington, Oct. Sat Friday S
cabinet meeting two kilograms were
read from Gen. Otis at Manila, stat
ing that the Spanish government re-
quested that Gen. Jandenes be permit
ted to return to Spain, where, it is I'M
derstood, he will be called before a
court Of inquiry to answer certain
charges affecting his management of
affairs in connection with the surren-
der of Manila. Gen. Otis was author
lied to permit the Spanish general to
leave, together with several other
Spanish officers who are on the sick
list. In answer to inquiries it was
stated that nothing so far has been re-
ceived from the United States peace
commissioners that was in any way
significant, or indicated that the peace
negotiations were not progressing sat
isfactorily.