Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1898-01-02
BREAKING A RECORD

I'm not a crackajack, declares a
writer IN the San Francisco Call. 1t is
not my ambition to become either
llegler or a Zimmerman; nevertheless,
l believe l hold the worlds unpaced
down-hill record. 1t happened that
was member Of cycling party that
was on days outing among the
berkeley hills. For miles we had been
ascending, winding in and around the
mountains until at last after toiling
up a long grade, We came upon a steep
incline that appalled, even the stoutest
OF the groupe. In fact, the place was
used for coasting by boys who had
their bravery developed at the expense
of their reasoning ability. The whole
party had dismounted and were lead
ing their bikes, when with that total
disregard for personal danger which [
always exhibit in the presence OF
young ladies, l determined to ride. and
started out on what terminated in the
greatest road run ever made by any
living rider.
OF course, the coroner's books may
reveal the names OF men who made
much quicker time down hill than I
did. Some steep mountain side may be
strewn with the remains Of the man
who made more remarkable record
The bereaved family of some speedier
rider may stju.be bNying him on the
fnHtalIment Plan according 81 they find
his remains. But | do not fear con-
tradiction when | claim that I am the
fastest down-hill rider of any man who
is not extinct. Furthermore, the race
was made without any previous train
ing, thus coming under the head of ar
impromptu, extemporaneous ride.
The moment I started on my DOWN
ward path | realized that | had made
a mistake. Other young men may
have fallen from grace, but never be-
fore had the downward career of a
respectable citizen been so rapid. The
overhanging branches tore off my hat
and necktie. At every yard my We
locity increased and my wardrobe de-
creased, until at last Paul Revere's
Ride" or Sheridans' mad gallon to
Winchester were as nothing compared
WI lHyr awful anxiety to reach level
ground BY this time my wheel had
acquired the velocity OF a skyFocket.
/ began to feel that | was entered in
a great relay race to eternity. I felt
too scared to pray and too near death
to swear. My heart had almost stop
ped beating-my floating ribs had al
most ceased to float Suddenly my
wheel struck bowlder and paused
abruptly. But / didn't. | kept right
on for about twenty feet further, I'm
til, sfnding myself without any visible
means of support, made 81 flying
finish, landing in cluinp of blackber-
Fsrv vines, through which | sifted.
-stSt,sxr, 7 had Ap,alIxy TO, /, cle x,~-
self from the -clinging embrace of
botanical surroundings, | realized that
[ had been puctured. As limped back
to the place where in my hurry to get
there r had seeded from my bike did
not look like a man who had Just
made worlds record. My hat, neck
tie and collar were left on the hillside,
my coat was hanging at half mast from
one shoulder. even my presence OF
mind deserted me, and | felt the need
of a guardian as | never before had
in my life. | looked like a man who
had been granted belligerent rights,
and was sorry for it.
We now went over to hold a post
mortem examination on the shattered
fragments Of the wheel. We found
that 1t had suffered compound frac-
ture of the handle-bars, a conclusion
nf tbe forks. a contortion Of the pedals.
q dislocation OF the spokes, a dislodg-
ment OF the seat and rupture of the
tires. I concluded to walk home. But
how to walk home and escape the
vsn,ng ladies of the party was ques-
non that puzzled my intellect. The
morn | looked down at my abbre-
waited garments the more | longed for
an overcoat. But the thought that l
had broken a record as well as other
miscellaneous things gave ME courage
- racs any lady, be she blushing
J ;,lTomer Girl or postponed bride.
II first the ladies We're inclined to
5..cK upon my accident as a calamity,
mn when / explained to them that l
I'D probably made the worlds unDac-
"a dnwn-hill record they forgot even
the emptiness of my wardrobe IN the
frllness of their joy. Every member
Of the club wanted me to ride home
his or her wheel, while many OF the
,adiaa went back to get pieces of my
hiIa as souvenirs. AS for myself, l am
Eli giving away souvenir blackberry
s,,a-ns as fast as | can extract them,
ond from present indications the sup
~, Nv seems to be ine.haustlpFa.
FiGRRiD May
,,or Of Miss Ke1.win'e