The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1898-12-25
mAap WIT AND aEPARTEE.


R.eaetes That Indicate the Irish
- rpARTEf, or readiness IN smart.
.O witty. sarcastic resort. Is SAID 20
HN be- the h.xacss form q Wit.
These immediate and feActsous
(I~n~x. slese answering thrssts in men
- ssnelng. these Illuminating cassses
Il .a.rk aps lively lrnazsnassons. are CON-
- aasorg all classes Ia ireland On Old
[S1-,ss.e Bridge Ira Dublin there WAS a fruit
III me keeper OF witch. ''Bse9y, the ap-
weuaa." was a besssr-knoxn figure
=, even the lord mayor. She had
- and GID tongue, and never Allowed
= rarhxi assailant TO retire with Ill the
LesDsa An American sisitor, thinking 10
- \ .fise" out OF TIA old woman. took
: ono OK tie watermeaons she was dis
= sing tor sale. and said These are
zStall apples you grow over here In
erica We have them twice ths size"
: - s,oxly removed her ''dudheen." or
-. from her lips, and cooliy surveying
Joker from head 10 heel. said liz .
a. OF pity. 'tferra, what fool yez
- be amin yez take our gooseasrrtss
- auples" The Irish people are perhaps
. "a sasaes for concentrating into pfHaAe
amount Of bitter sarIaxsa- A Duhsin
11rssy seeing a man of fashion who prid-
himself on his skill In handing the reinE.
4. Ewing down Grafton street, said. THAT
StDw looks Ike a coSchman. but drives
u gentleman.
1shH Philrot Carran was noted for his
9lSears Of repartee ard sarcasm Many OF
b good things IN that line have come
ben 20 Us through the century. There
pa.s net be q better testimony TO their
Awmsh: ba, a. most of them ara too well
uOwn to need repeating here. l viii sim
u give a few that I have picked up in
H2h-of-the-way places. At a dinner table
= London the conversation turned on
stssc speaking Cusran stated that he
oaM never address ara audience for u
safter Of an hour without moistening his
b II have the advantage OF you there.
811~an.f said Sir Thomas Tarton,
xampous and pgetentious member OF par
.fAment Il spoke the other night la the
boune Of commons for five hours on the
EAbsb OF Dude. and never felt In the least
klsssy.'' That Is very remarkable. Ia
bed" replied carran. '.for every one
sreea that 1t was thu drfess speech OF
IA session. One day curran was walk
n past the parliament house In College
6reen. before the Bank OF Ireiant got
Ct,ssesslon or IL. with nobieman. who
Va promoted the legislative union by his
1ptss. II wonder what they intend TO
- with that useless buildingT' said the
p5.suaan. For my part l hate the sight
IT, II do not wonder at that. my
'1krd" returned Curfan. who was al anti
nionist u never yet heard OF a riur-
krer who was not afraid OF a ghost"
Scnrran. as vii. be seen from these anec-
6sssss. could say mordant and cutting
aings. ba. perhaps no man was insuised
&ath such dialecticai neatness and inge-
<Epusnsss 81 Curran was by the famous
nnker OF bulls" Sir Boyle Roche. In the
IlHyh house 81 commons. The honorable
IsatIeman says fls Is the guardian Of his
.e.n honor" said Roche. In reply 10 q
IEseeh OF Cnrran: but on ether occa-
ans nave heard him boast that he was
ta ensfay az sinocures." CarFan was de-
bsssi In a conversational contest With
fAdy Morgan. the Irish novelist. one even
1ss In that lady's drawing room. when,
|1sggera.ing the prevailing fashion In
nor, sleeves. she wore merely straps ever
ecr shoulders. Curran Was walking away
Fem the little party who witnessed the
|nanic. Of the two wits. when Lady Nor
AN called out. "Ah. come hack, Mr.. Cur
TAR. and acknowledge tina; you ara fairly
Eesscn." "a, any rate" said ne. turning
tAnd. Il have this consolation. Lady Nor
Bar. tina: you can't laugh az me In your
Blseve"
Daniel o'conneirs sarcastic and graphic
description OF lady OF stiff. cold. and for
pa manners is very happy. She has all
hs characteristics Of pci1er-cxcept It's
occasional warmth" This recalls the story
IT the two iftsh servants who. discussing
] Ne s;lff and unhending manners Of the
seang lady OF the family. agreed that
WAen she was baby her mother must
|aase fed her upon boiled Aosers, under
lassie - Another happy and humorous ex~
kple OF sascasna-aa apart from repagsee
Il Afforded by the following snecdote.
Ssoe Il on TIE authority OF friend who
| am afraid. WIS the villain Of the izcs-
esas. A mos; impeftnfhatie man was fol-
swed irons Westmorelsnd street. Dublin.
1vsr the oConneil bridge 10 the seaerai
fasscfsise by two little street Arabs. wee
nroftaned him fer The end ~ his cigar
Throw as The hutf. slrl Al. sir. throw
|as the butt" cried tie youths: bar as the
pan DID rot display the slightest conscious
|9ess Of their existence. they gave hini Up
4; last ~ despair AMI disgust. "Arrah.
81 him alone" said enc. with the nless
seefshins @corn. ''zaare it's . but. he's
fssssd ue himself"
ofee 9aid a bumrtinus little nsn who.
seans az steward at athletic sports In
Iaalln. was very assetiive la keeping back
= crowd. thus addressed BY an angry
R1ectaieFs "ff The consste wss taken on.
- sea. yea he 10 bigger than n srsen
sSAeeAeTTy. aud we're aa sour az wan al
Fsaiy. ~ London Telegraph