davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1898-06-24
Too Much Realism.

Higgins-The play last night was
very realistic. Didn't you think so?
Wiggins-Most realistic of the kind
1 ever saw. Didn't you notice how in
the act containing the church scene
most everybody went to sleep?-N. Y.
World
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1898-06-24
Another Rebuff.

The Tramp-Beg pardon, sir. am
stranger in desc parts
The Farmer-Well, 1 dunno of any
body that wants to git acquainted with
ye.-Puck.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1898-06-24
An Alluring Prize.

"You ought to take some tickets in
the lottery" said one Kiond;ke miner t.
another. "They are only $1,000 q
ticket"
What is the grand price,"
"A canvasback ham,"
Journal.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1898-06-24
Another Chance.

Going to the shore this season, Miss
Elderly?"
Eyes. Now that the coast defenses
are to be improved, I suppose that there
will be some men there."-Detroit Free
Press.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1898-06-24
SwsDiciOns Aroused.

Johnny-Wot! You fit wit Mickey
Dugan? Wy, dat Teller don't know
wen he s licked!
Tommy-Mebby he don't, but, by
jocks! III bet l made him have sus-
picions!-Puck.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1898-06-24
Free from Pain.

The Victinl-Bank it! Thought YOU
were painless dentist2
The Vulture-Well, do I seem to be
suffering any fudge.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1898-06-24
The First Fly.

The first fly of spring ;,
On hilarious wing g.
Flew about in a manner quite devious,
When sudden chill wind
Knocked him Silly and blind
He was punished for being too previous
up to Date.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1898-06-24

Visitor-There's good little man!
You always do as your father tells you
don't you?
The Little Man-No, sir; marin would
whack me if did.-N. Y. Journal.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1898-06-24
Little Ma bel-Mamma, what's hero?
Mother-A hero, Mabel, is brave
man.
Little Mabel-Then is brave woman
a she-ro?-N, Y Ledger
Making the Rest of 1t.

"Ah. yes" she cried, "by all means go
To fight the hateful don;
I'll try to find some other beau
To flirt with while you're gone"
Chicago Daily News,
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1898-06-24
Up to Date.

"Have you acolytes in your church,"
inquired the Brooklyn girl of her coun-
try cousin.
my, no." was the reply, eve put in
electric lights three years ago."-Town
Topics.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1898-06-24
Gone Around.

Before her heart I watched with sleepless
eyes,
And vowed to leave it not fore vermore.
Until one day saw with great surprise
Another man had entered the back door
Brooklyn Life.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1898-06-24
II DO MY OWN WORK."
So Says Mrs. Mary Rochiette Of
Linden, New Jersey, in this
Letter to Mrs. Pinkham.

81 was bothered with a flow which
would be quite annoying at times, and
at others would almost stop.
IL used prescriptions given me by my
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1898-06-24

Lady arranging preliminaries)-O,
and you will be expected to attend
prayers regularly morning and even
ing.
Cook acknowledgements, suppose
there's something to put up with in
every family.-Moonshine
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1898-06-24
A Sensitive Plant,

Edwin-You would not take that
uncle of mine to be sensitive plant at
all, would you?
Reginald-He certainly does not look
it.
Edwin-Well, he is. Attempt to touch
him and he closes up immediately
Cincinnati Enquirer.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1898-06-24

Evincing Understanding, do you think
your father isreconciled to our engagements"
"Yes, Arthur; he asked me last night what
your name was."-Chicago Record.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1898-06-24
Brave Souls,

"Oh, where are all the heroes? Where?"
The plaintive poets sing:
They overlook the men who wear
The first straw hats in spring.
Town ToDics
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1898-06-24

Flim-Do you think raw oysters are
healthy?
DR.. kurnit-I never knew one to COM
plain in my ife.-N. Y. Journal.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1898-06-24
Includtnr the C,ermxmen.

I once saw couple married,
And I'm ready now to swear
That, in spite Of dictionaries,
1t takes three to make a pair.
IN. Y. Evening Journal.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1898-06-24
"Look Pleasant, please:"

This world would be paradise
And wear very different look
If folks would always seem as nice
As when they have their pictures took.
e. A. W. Bulletin.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1898-06-24

The gift of silence is often more valuable
than the gift of speech.-Ram's Horn.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1898-06-24
Devious Definitions.

Monkey-The possible key to mans origin.
Tears-The rain of Woman's sorrows and
joys.
Wind Something that makes bicycle
pneumatically tired.
Pity-A fellow-feeling that is too often
substituted for charity.
Notwithstanding that can be borrowed
without security or interest.
Egotist-A man who imagines the world
can't get along without him.
Liberty-The police court judges equiva-
lent for $40 or ten days.
Intoxicology-The science that treats of
very slow but sure poisons.
Indifference-A mans regard for to-mor-
rows breakfast just after eating to-day's
dinner.-Chcago Evening News.
Hovy's This:
We offer One Hundred Dollars Reward
for any case of Catarrh that cannot be cured
by Halls Catarrh Cure.
F. j. Cheney g. Co., Props, Toledo, 0.
We, the undersigned, have known +. j.
Cheney for the last Is years, and believe him
perfectly honorable in all business transac
lions and financially able to carry out any
obligations made by their firm.
West & Truax, Wholesale Druggists, To-
Waiding, Kinnan & Marvin, Wholesale
Druggists, Toledo, O.
Halls Catarrh Cure is taken internally,
acting directly upon the blood and mucous
surfaces of the system. Price 75c. per bot
tie. Sold. by all Druggists. Testimonials
free.
Halls Family Pills are the best.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1898-06-24
A Demoralixed Country,

"Hasn't the story about his accept
ing big bride hurt that official?" asked
one Chinese citizen.
Not much" answered another. 1T
seems to me he is treated with n ore
respect than ever. The fact that he
could get so much money for his in
f1uence shows what a lot of it he must
have. "-Washington Star.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1898-06-24
He Would BE Needed.

Mrs. Smith-George. may write and
accept Mrs. Browns invitation for Bob
by to attend her boys party on the
Goth?
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1898-06-24
The Cynic's Confession,

I can't engage in useful work. I cannot
even sing.
To benefit my fellow man cannot do a
thing.
Since from other occupations I. alas, can't
take my pick
There's nothing left except for me to settle
down and kick.
Was hington Star
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1898-06-24
tHdlt !izk5fjtza n
A Suggestion.

"Popper," said Willie, "why did you
buy golf coat?1
TO play Coffin, my son." said Mr.
Willis.
did you need it?" ~
"Of course did"
'Then need a top coat to play tops
in. I seen 'em advertised" -Harper's
Bazaar,
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1898-06-24
An Important Point.

.Wheeler-Ah, that was glorious victory
of Dewey's.
SprocEetts-It would seem so, but shall
reserve my own opinion of it until find out
what make of wheel he rides.-Chicago
Evening News.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1898-06-24

Young Wife-But aren't you the man
l gave some cake to on Monday?
Tramp-Yes, mum; but, thank Gawd!
I've got over italy Sloper.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1898-06-24

physician, br
same state
of affairs
continued.
" After a
time I was !
taken with
a flooding,
that I was
obliged to
keep my bed.
Finally, in
despair, l
gave up my
tor, and b.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1898-06-24

Mr.. Smith-Yes, and while you are
writing you had better write DR.. Kurem
to call on the 21st-N. Y. Truth,
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1898-11-25
The Parsons Story.

1t was just on the eve OF Thanksgiving
day
When forth in the sunshine he wand
cred away;
And out in the city he walked with the
crowd,
The rich and the poor, the gay and
proud.
Then homeward returned quite placid
in mind,
But when he had entered there what
did he find?
They made him believe it-thoss trusty
good eyes
In kitchen and pantry real surprise.
His friends had prepared him Thanks.
giving dinner;
He called them all saints. Twas toe
good for sinner,
For there lay before him, the fare greaI
and small,
Including the lnince pies, the turkey
and all.
And tten in the evening he heard the
bell ring,
And neat little note this messag,
did bring:
WOuAu Sho pAHsou aEO Wtieg tWhe IA
plain written line.
With the doctor and wife on Thanks
giving diner"
He said that they did to that mansion
repair,
and found it treat and joy to b
there.
And we heard Kim remark Of lha
Thanksgiving dinner,
Twas as good as the best-Oh; th
sinner the sinner!
Dixie.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1898-11-25
Thirteen.
DIXIE.

Superstitious Republicans may be
tro1, ,bled by the announcement that the
majority of the party in the next con-
gress appears to be thirteen.
There will be trouble enough for the
party without shat, the possession Of
full control of the legislative as we'll as
executive departments OF government
placing full responsibility for all that is
done or left UDdone before the campaign
Of 1900. As there will be good deal Of
both distasteful 10 the people. under the
moet favorable circumstances. the party
leaders are looking forward to that cam.
paign with some anxiety. and the ap-
pearance of that fstetul figure Is in the
forecast OF the party majority in the
next house ditQuiets some of the be.
lievers in signs and omens.
But the timid can take courage. II
the figures are not revived before the
meeting Of congress so as to eliminate
the thirteen, the committee on elections
will quickly remedy matters. Even il
the majority should be greater at the
start the proceedings will be the same.
Just as quickly as the committee is ap-
pointed aAd gets to work there will be q
rapid unseatihg Of Democratic members
With or without justification, until The
majority Is sufficiently large to allow for
sickness aud absences from other caus-
es.
1t lie rot proceeding peculiar to either
party and can always be depended on tc
take place unless the majority Is already
TOO large to be manageable, which has
happened more than once-OIevelAnC
Piaindealsr.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1898-11-25

The foot ball sesson will pass alter
next Thursday, when the public will
have 10 settls down to an every day hum
drum life. We look anxious Ahtad
for something TO keep the pulse moving.
The past has never failed to bnng some-
thing forward, and the future will be
equal to the occasion. No American
game lie played that is such Hn agony
manufacturer as this game. Il has We
hement foes and strong friends. Il il
punctuTed time and again, but always
like ballet dancer comes up smiling
II has come to stay and those opposed &c
il might just as well as not take it phil
Oeophieslly. With all its rouebnees it IL
= robust, strong game that engendtr r
that rustic and push that is necessary
in business. The preparation for II cali
for temperate habits and plain diet
the execution Of it great activity anC
strength. Il has drawbacks, but tn,
DKMocRAr admits that in ifs iudzmen
they are less than the merIts
1t is well though that tie season
is short, and We are willing 70
it to pass, for we shalI have bad enough
when the last remnants Of the turke.
shall have vanished.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1898-11-25
Alaskan Notes.

Butter brings S1.OO pound at Daw-
son.
A new daily paper Is to be started al
juneau.
There are fifty businsss buildings un-
der construction at Dawson.
There were 1S7 patients in St. Mary :.
hospital. Dawson, October l..
Cap. Jack Crawford. the poet scout,
has started a town at the mouth Of the
Hootalinqua river.
Only 200 persons will spend the win
ter on Stewart river, and they will be in
the vicinity Of the MeQuestien.
E.B.HiIl, formerly Of Seattle, is erect
ing the Gold Hill hotel, at Grand Forks,
eighteen miles from Dawson. Itis to be
3Ox40 feet and two stories high.
Steamer Canadian has gone into win
ter quarters at the mouth Of the hoo'al
inqua, and the Columbian is in the bay
above Fort Sslkirk for the winter.
Two unknown men we're drowned In
the SqUaw rap'dp, between Canyon and
White Horse, Sep. 81. Galloway and
Smith, their comrades. swsm ashore.
The ALASKAN Commercial Company is
taking out coal from the mines on Nat
onal creek, a tributary Of the Yukon,
Tor the use Of river STEAMERS next year.
Captain George Fortney. of the Yukon
steamboat Tyrnil has gone to st. Louis
to build a steamer that will navigate
White Horse rapids and Miles canyon.
The Selwyn river prospects have turn
cd out to be no good. II is a region I2O
miles above Dawson, where there was
much excitement few months ago.
Miss Ln!la Day formerly matron OF the
Metropolitan railway hospital Of Chicago
and Edward Mcconnell, Of Dawson, were
married few weeks ago at KIondlke.
Johnson brothers recently arrived al
Dawson with fourteen tons OF timothy
hay and quantity of turnips and pa.
snips, the result Of their farming on
rh:Tty'Hi river. They will try farm
ing near Dawson uext year.
There is a plethora OF candidates for
mayor of Dawson, nov that Incorporation
of that city IL assured. Among them are |
the following Barker Will.,W II Smith.
w Morrison, Tvm O'Brien, Att. Wood !
WORTH, A Bsnnerman and Dr. w S Par.
rett.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1898-11-25

Recent events showed that a ca mp j
more dangerous than q battle. Gos on
ly in the army, bu ia ordinary Lille. more
Iiyes are lost by q heedless disTegard O
the beginnings OF poor health than b,
all other csuses combined.
Dyspepsia or nervousness is absolute,
fnexeusable nos. There 10 no more res
eon for 3 man OF woman eating with poo
appetite or sleeping pooEiv or suffering
cootinually from neuralgia or rheuma
tiem today than there is Of bis or her g0
ing without the necessities OF life.
Every candid person who has dEzgRe
along, under the depressing effects {
nerve and brain exhaustion, needs {
take TO heart ibe woTds OF such unbiRse
persons as Senator Tabor. who c4nnC
afford TO attach their guarantee to any
thing they have not themselves investig
eted.
DENVER, Col Sept. %. 1898.
Messrs. Weils, Richardson * Co., Bus
lington, VII heartily recommend ySu
Palne's celery compound
IL is the one remedy which should b
widely used. have used il, aud there
FIRE know whereof speak
Very truly yours,
n. A. W. TABOR.
Formerly t. S, senator.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1898-11-25
Sorts.

When a Bar Harbor well digger COM
planned that he received electric shocks
while decending 9 well in thst fashion
able resort his fellow workmen laughed
at him. But when q dog. fastened to 3
platform, was lowered to the surface Of
the water be howled pileously for an in
stant aud was dsad when hauled to the
surface. Now the ignorant workmen
think the well is bewithed.
Lawyer James P. Buchanan Of Pits
burg had q quarrel with restaurant
keeper over the price of . beeisteak.
The check was for greater amount than
the bill OF fare called for. Buchanan was
arrested, locked up and kept incommun-
ieado over night. He sued and has been
awarded $4,000 damages By the trial
judge.
It has been less than two yG aTs sinee
the law making lifeimprisonment instead
of death the penalty for murder in COL
orado went into effect and Jet agitation
has already begun looking to q revival Of
the death penalty. 1t is asserted BY
those who wish resestablishment of
che gallows that the life i'm prisonment
law has resulted in an epidemic 81 crime.
The Maori tribe have godsend in the
way of boiling sprinas. They can soak
themselves all day in warm weather /;
cook their meat and potatoes by simply
hanging them in their nets in q corner
of q hot water spring: launder their gar
ments by soaking them in boiling soda
eprings and rinsiDs in the warm, clear
wster Of anothe: boiling gyser, and walk
proudly OF in clean garments.
There is one public woman who may
be relied upon not to like parrots. MINI
ME Hauk, the famous Carmen of yesters
YearP, whose pet parrot BIT her 90 badly
in the lip that for three years she had to
remain in.seelusion. Meanwhile CaIve
and other CsTmebs have arisen. The
parrot bite destroyed some of the Tissues
and though now the wound has healed
an ugly scar remains
Michigan has developed new peach
pest, which arrests the Gr0wth of the
fruit when it lie about the size of a hazel
nut, thus producing a crop locally known
as "little peaches 1t was irst noticed a.
bout two years ago. and this year it's raw
ages were a!armingly extensive. So far
no remedy has been found for It, though |
expert investigations and experiment are
not wanting. In Sau.Atusk township |
during the pretent season more than
1000 trses were affected.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1898-11-25

Do you suffer from insomnia? Are you
me OF those mueh-to-be-pitied indivIcu.
ais who wrestle with the pillow through
be long hours Of the night and rise in
the morning with hsggard features and
lollog eyes? II 50, take advantage Of
he remarkable power Of this greaten
II sIl remedies for reetorioR strength.
Paine's celery compound calms and
|qual.Ees all the nervous tissues and in
iDees the body 10 take on solid heah.
Nervous debility causes ti4nidi.Y, de-
preston, aud lack of confidence in the
struggle OF life; whereas plenty Of ner-
sous fores insuEes se'f reliance, enter
prise and prosperity. In untold number
Il cases the lack Of success can sAeiIy be
Traced 70 simple lack Of nerve force.
There ia no better foundation for per
Inanens good health. or . better prepar-
alton for coping <ith the hard work and
I.axinz strain Of life than rich, red, pure
blood and plenty of it. acquired by nee oI
saine's celery compound.
Physicians recognize Paine's celery
compound As the one scientific remedy
or restoring health and strength TO the
EoTn-ous system.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1898-11-25

Arthur Poe, the foot ball player oI
Princeton, who won the foot ball game
with Yale. had greatness thrust upon
him. 1t is plain enough. In his scrim'
mage all the other players were piled in
heap. He stood by watching the pro.
ceedinRs, when the ball slipped out and
rolled to his teet. All he had to do wat
to pick 1t up and run across the field fol
touchdown. Any fool OF a player
could have done it. But the papers are
all giving his picture "a the foot bal
hero of the year. Some OF this gush il
nauseating.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1898-11-25
City Convention. u.

There will lie q mass convention OF the
democratic voters OF the city Of Albany
held at The court house in said city on
saturday the 3rd day Of Decemb her, 1898.
at the hour OF o'clock p. M, for the
purpose OF nominating candidates Tor the
Offices Of marshal, treasurer and TO rat.
ify ward nominations TO. councilmen to
DO voted for at the coming tity election
to be held on Monday, December 5, 1898
We recommend that ward meetings be
held in tho different wards OF the city on
Friday. Decemb-r 2, 1898, at the hour Of
8 o'clock p. m. 10 nominate one council
man from each wsrl and choose mem.
bers oi central committee at tile follow.
ing places: First ward. circuit court
roeni; second ward, hail Albany Engine
o.. No. /; third ward, store room second
street lately occupied BY John Fox.
III. WHITERY,
JASON WHEELER.
Central Committee.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1898-11-25
HOME AND ABROAD

Judge Boise came up from Salem today
and will hold court this afternoon.
Wheat 81 cents.
Apron Strings.
Apron Strings Dec. 18th.
Have you engaged your company for
apron Strings? Dec. 10th.
The Home Bakery for cranberries.
The Home Bakery for Thanksgiving
eatables.
Weekly DEMOCRAT and Weekly Oregon.
ian 1925 year.
For knives. forks ami spoons see
French, the jeweler.
See Ffeneh's display window for the
latest novelties in watches and rings.
lie sure 70 hear Apron Strings at the
Methodist church Dec. 18th.
Go TO the Home Bakery for your
Thanksgiving goods. consisting OF rails
ins,currants, dates, figs. .walnuts almonds
etc.
M. NJ. Harvey. former Albany man,
died At Tacoma last Friday. He was in
the hardware busieees here until ALeuI
! fifteen years ago.
/ Mrs Mays, who retus ned to her hcme
in Tenn, several months ago. after q
residence in Albany OF several months
died lew days ago.
Drs Wallace and Beere recently per
formed . successful operation on Mrs. j
A. Carter, oil VETS, CONSISTING OF the re
moval OF tumor.
James Las. cf Shushun, n Y,ihrougt
his ageot, Miss Ina Law Robertson, o
Chicago, formerly Of this city, has pre-
senled the mission boards oi the Z. p
church with t35 600 and th- three col.
leees OF the chntch with s65 900, 8 iota
Of 500. .O01
Ed Warren, who 10 suspected with th.
burning OF Canyon City. is former M e
MinnvtIle young man. He also Fesider
at Corvallis one time and is The youn,
man who captured Ed Scott, who snap
ped his revolver in waFrea's lsee
Warren was recently xith q sheriff
posse that ehol several Indiana, one =
let passing through his bat.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1898-11-25
HOw's This?

We offer One Hundred Dollars Re.
ward for a1y case of Catarrh that can.
not be cured by Halls Catarrh Cure.
F. j. CHENEY & Co., Props,
Toledo, o.
We, the undersigned, have known f.
J. Cheney for the last Is years, and be-
heve him perfectly honorable in all busi-
ness transactions. and financially able
to carry out any obligation made by
their firm.
WEST & TEUAx, Wholesale Druggists,
Toledo o.
WALDING, KINNAN & MARvIN, Whole
sale Druggists, Toledo, o.
Halls Catarrh Cure is taken Internal
ly, acting directly upon the blood and
mucous surface" Of the system. Price
75c. per bottle. Sod by all Druggists.
Testimonials free.
Halls family Pills ale best.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1898-11-25

1t is good idea to cultivate thankful.
ness the year round and not reserve il
all for Thanksgiving. 1t Is p,or stitch
Of a man or woman who is net thankful
when there is occasion for 1t, and there
should be occasion for it right along. II
Is well to live in that optimistic Eay
that calls for the spirit. A clear con-
science, good habits. industry and per-
severence are great factors in the Secur-
ing of 3 natural thankful spirit. sugg, s.
ted this week of general Thanksgiving.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1898-11-25

The report Of Surgeon General Stern
berg, the horse doctor, has been present.
ed. He has been greatly criticised, and
yet he displays considerable horse sense
in some parts of his report. Among
other things he cites how intemperanee
aud general dissipation lead to sickness,
person dissipAted catching fever much
more readily than the temperate man
He has his hands full though explaining
some things.