davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1898-08-31
r,.s widow. opin,on.

In one O. the suburban towns near the
capital lives widow well endowed
with worldly goods whose husband,
with sort Of posthumous jealousy, has
guarded against her re-marriage by
providing that she shall lose all her
property if ever she takes another hus-
band. She las been receiving attentions
for several years from an elderly Grand
Army Of the Republic veteran. She has
been very good to him too. Once when
be wanted to parade with his comrades
she bought him an expensive blue suit
with brass buttons ON it, He wanted to
marry her, but the will Of the selfish
dead man stood between. So after q
time nc married somebody else. The
widow was broken hearted. She recalled
the suit with the brass buttons. She
recalled a hundred kindnesses shown
the old soldier. She bewailed his peril
dy to her friends.
"Why," said one of them, "what did
you expect? He wanted wife TO make
9 home for him. You couldn't marry
him. So why do you complaint
The widow wiped her eyes
II know / couldn't marry him, >" she
said. 81 didn't really want to marry
him anyway, but, you see, it was such
heap Of comfort to have a steady
beau "-Washington Post.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1898-08-31
Koren.. seren Wonders.

The seven wonders Of Korea are: ~
The marvellous mineral spring Of Kiu-
shanto, Que dip in which is sovereign
cure for all the ills that human flesh is
heir to. t2) The double springs which.
though far apart, have strange, mys-
terious affinity. According to Korean
belief, there is a connection under
ground, through which water ebbs and
flows like the waters Of the ocean, IN
such way that only one spring is full
at time. The water possesses won
derful sweetening power, so that what
ever is cooked therein becomes good and
palatable. go The cold wind cavern,
whence comes a never ceasiug wind so
piercing that nothing can Withstand 1t
and so powerful that the strongest man
cannot face it. ca The indestructible
pine forest, the trees Of which grow
up again as fast as they are cut down.
t5) The floating stone, q massive block
that has no visible support, but like
Mohammed' coffin, remains suspended.
f6) The warm stone. situated ON the
top of a hill and said 20 have the pecul-
iarity Of spreading warmth and heat
al round it 90 A drop Of the sweat OF
Buddha, for 80 PAGES round which no
flower or vegetation will grow, nor viii
birds or other living things pass over 1t.
Brooklyn Eagle
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1898-08-31
rrculIar,tle. Of sne ,-es..o.

The opinion has prevailed among
housekeepers that it is the good potato
which freaks open when it is boiled.
A scientist who has made potatoes a
study insists that the good potato is the
one that remains quietly in its coating
Of brown during all Of the processes of
cooking. Instead Of the swelling and
bursting CT the skin being caused by
the presence of starch it has been as
certained that albumen is the substance
that causes this breaking open An or
dinery potato is made mp Of three
fourths Of its weight in water, two
tenths in starch and one-fftieth of nj
trogenous matter. If itcracks and falls
70 pieces during the process of boiling,
it is deficient in albumen, and therefore
lacking in the most important constit-
uent.-New York Ledger.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1898-08-31

President O'Hanlon of the Penning-
ton N. J. seminary used to preach
every Monday morning at Ocean Grove.
and one of his regular hearers was
a good Methodist brother who used
60 shout ''Gloryp' whenever anything
pleased him. Once in awhile this shout
would come in at an inopportune mo-
ment
After DR.. O'Hanlon had been preach
ing ON Monday mornings for number
of years he arose one day TO announce
his text. He introduced his remarks
with these words: Brethren, have
been preaching here at Ocean Grove On
Monday mornings for a number Of
years, but some of these days when you
are gathered here I will be missing, for
the grass wiz be growing over nay
grave" Idst then the sSouter uttered
a shri2 "Oh. Glory
Sedate as was that congregation, there
went up a hearty laugh. The doctor
was equal to the occasion. He put his
hands in his pockets, leaned back and
said, well. brother, what have you
got against mes'' The laugh was turn
ed, order was soon restored, and the
doctor preached with his usual power
and acceptability.-New York Tribune.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1898-08-31

The Washington Times recalls story
about the Duke of Wellington that IL
Illustrates the fantastic idea of honor
held by many Spaniarls. contrasted with
the practical common sense of English
men. When the duke was cooperating
with the Spanish army in the peninsula
assi.,st Napoleon, he was desirous ON
one occasion during a general engage
ment that the general commanding the
Spanish contingent should execute a GER
tain movement on the field. He COM
municated the wish TO the Spaniard
personally and was somewhat taken
aback 10 be told that the honor Of the
king Of Spain and his army would COM
pei him to refuse the request unless
Wellington as foreign officer gracious
" permitted to exist and fight on Span
ish soil. should present the petition ON
his knees.
The old duke often used TO tell the
story afterward, and he would say,
Now, was extremely anxious 10 have
the movement executed. and didn't
care a 'twopenny damn about getting
ON my knees, so down pumped p
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1898-08-31
saInt Norah md she rot..o.

st. Norah was a poor girl, says the
London Punch, who prayed St Patrick
for n good gift that would make her not
proud but useful, and st. Patrick, out
of his own head, taught her how to boil
a potato. A sad thing and to be lament
ed, that the secret has come down TO SO
few Since the highest intellectual and
physical life is dependent upon diet
since the cook makes, while the physi-
clan only mends-should not she who
prepares our pies be as carefully trained
as he who makes our pills?
Certainly whatever may be the
knowledge or the ignorance Of tho serv-
ant in the kitchen, the mistress of the
kouse, be she young or cid, ought to be
able. like st. Patrick in the fable. ont Of
her own instructed head to teach Norah
how 20 boil potato or broil steak so
that they may yield their utmost of rel
ish aud natriment.
Until she can do that, no woman Is
qualified to preside over household,
and since few reach adult life without
being called TO that position in the
household of husband, father or broth
er, the legend of ST. Norah has wide
significance. S Companion.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1898-08-31
Male FeIinity.

Talking about the humanity of man
and the felinity of woman, said the
independent woman, ''let me tell you
little story Of a man and a cat. The
story was told TO me by the wife Of the
man, who is domesticated woman. 1t
seems that the family cat, besides being
If a sportiye disposition, had more IN
cenuity than most cats or understood
better how to relieve the tediOm of
domestic existence. This cat caught a
mouse. Being well fed. her sporting in
stinct came into play, and she kept the
mouse TO amuse herself with. That Is a
feline custom, as you are aware, but
where this cat showed superior mental
ity was in hitting upon place TO hide
the mouse, thus protracting the amnse-
lnent. She kept it in an old shoe IN a
storeroom. The man of the house dis
covered the proceeding. and was almost
as much amused as the cat. Did he put
a stop TO it? No. indeed. For several
DAYS ne fed both the cat and tie mouse,
after which the cat would take the
monse ont for its daily exercise, TO the
delight Of both conspirators Then the
mans wife found them out. She took
the mouse away and let it go. New
York Commercial Advertiser.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1898-08-31

ssf often hear Of the magic number.
said sou,o one. "What number is itr
why. nine. Of ccurse, replied
some one else. There are nine muses..
Won know, aud you talk Of nine days
wonder Then You bowl at nine pms
and cat has nine lives"
s.Nonsense. !" broke in anotner-
"seyer is the magic number; 1eventn
hoayen. don't you know, acoAl That
seven colors 10 the rainbow; sessn aAys
An the week; seventh son OF seven'n
son-ereat fellow, and
"Tush. tush,'' remarked q third.
..Five's the number, you mean. A man
has five fingers On bis hand and nse
toes on his foot, and be has i've senses
and
.sThree is undoubtedly the magic
NUMBER interrupted another, be
cause people give three cheers and Jonsh
was inside a whale three days and three
nights. and If at first you don't succeed,
try. try again-three times, you seel
This was received with some con.
tempt by the company. and soulful
youth gushed oat.
1.-Two. Oh two is the magic number.
Oneself and one other-the adored one
Just us twor'
A hard featured individual, VITO had
been listening 20 the conversation hitn'
erto unmoved, here remarked in harsh
voice:
1.-The magic number is No l In TINS
world, aud if you want to succeed never
forget it. "
An interval Of deep thought on the
part of all followed, after which they
went in silently to supPer.-BrooklyT
Citizen.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1898-08-31

Once il is established that the nature
Of the species is gentle and that every
dog is a law abiding and peaceable Bruno
then il becomes necessary. before liaDil-
ity fer the vnlgar transgressions OF a
6erce Towser can be fastened on the
owner. that be should have previous
knowledge Of the usual aus nc. to be
expected feature
This is called scienter. and. Until an
owner has this knowledge Of his dog 8
Viciousness he is not responsible, though
IN the error Of its ways not acting as
becomes a gentleman Of the dog species
or a ladv. as the case may be- To be
more accurate and exact, once a dog
has departed from the narrow path OF
rectitude and demeaned itself IN ways
other than should obtain with strictly
nropcr and gentle ANIMAL, and the own
er knows it, then il loses status and
caste and must be put down as vicious
animal. and the owner keeps 1t at his
peril. Lord Colelidge, it seems, was
anxious TO reduce the law On The sub
lect 70 a nicely IN the way of succinct-
ness and breyity. and he succeeded by
saving that every dog is entitled to
one bite. - and the case has specisA refer
ence to spring lamb or veal. The ex-
preston is varied by making it every
dog is entitled TO one worry. "-Green
Bag.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1898-08-31

Many instances have been recorded OF
flowers being luminous at night They
only seem to do this on rare occasions,
hence they are to be envied who have
the good fortune TO witness the phe-
nomena. Though the writer has often
endeavored TO get fortunes favor, she
has never smiled on him but once
when he saw the phosphorescent glow
from fungi in a hollow tree, just like
the glow of a match when rubbed in
the dark. 4 German naturalist, Herr
Haggren, seems to have met with a
number of instances in his country-or,
rather, the night watchman be emplo.s
ed did. He concludes the phenomena
are more likely TO occur when il is
dark. after rain, following a sunny day.
July and August gave the most in
stances. Occurrences began soon after
sunset, and there We're none after dawn.
He could not decide ON the cause Of the
luminosity. -Meehan' MonthIy.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1898-08-31
spor, q. a developer OF Character.


Every now and then there crops out
In this republic the notion that if our
more cultured citizens We're our rulers
that we should be much better of. We
yerv much doubt it. If our more man
ly citizens could rule rs, then no doubt
we should be better of. But there is
freakiness and fnicalness, an inability
TO give and take, a general rubbing and
creaking of machinery among men de-
yeloped only ON the one side Of the
mind, which always everywhere makes
them objectionable as rulers Boxing
is Just as likely to make man meek
as looks, but if you have bully TO deal
with neither the boxing nor the books
will avail anything, and he becomes al
most more Objectionable as an editor
than as prizefghter. OF course sport
will fail. jEst as every other agency
will fail, with certain men. On the
other hand, for the great majority Of
men. well conducted sport will teach
them fortitude. gentleness, meekness
and fair play as no other agency yet in
vented by man can do.-Outing.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1898-08-31

"Eew students Of Napoleonic histo-
~" says the London Chronicle. ''are
tware that DR.. Antomarchi, who at
tended upon Napoleon I during his last
illness at St Helena. is buried in the
cemetery at Santiago de Cuba He had
s brother living in that island, and
after the emperor's death proceeded
thither and lived at Santiago. exercis-
ing his skill as an oculist gratuitously
among the poor. After his death in
1925 a public monument was erected 20
his memory in the local cemetery.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1898-08-31
Hareourt.. neaconsfleid Aueedoto.

Sir William Harcourt has one quite
unique memory Ct the support he gave
in old days to the public worship rePu-
lation act That was an invitation
which he received to visit Lord Bea-
consfield at Hughenden Manor.
Taking his guest-the member of a
family representing the ownership of
broad acres-round his minute demesne,
Lord Beaconsfeld said, Excuse the
vanity Of landed proprietorr' The
young politician accompanied his host
on Sunday to the village church. and
on the way thither was warned that
some hints of the high church move
ment had penetrated even that sylvan
solitude. my friend. the vicar, said
the lord of the manor, will take what
| call a collection and he calls an offer
tory, and afterward what call plate
and he calls an aims dish will be placed
on what / call table and ne calls an
altar. London News.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1898-08-31

A woman resident of Detroit relates
an interesting tale Of Kansas jnstice
years ago. Ii was after her wedding trip
that her husl and was called to Kansas
on business and a real estate dealer, out
Of spite. had him arrested. The prisoner
vas taken before 4 local Justice of the
peace. Tho incensed bride insisted upcn
attending the trial. aud while il was in
progress she 50 far forget herself as to
deliberately level her opera glasses upon
the Justice. who dashed under the table
and shouted:
"Deperty. disarln that womnnr'
The officer secured the glasses ard
cautiously laid them before the magis
trate, who promptly fined the woman
$1,000 for contempt of ccrrt. With
gracious dignity she asked the right to
defend herself. and. going up to the
bench. she explained that the glasses
were not harmful. and had the justice
look through them. and after a few
pretty words of apology she presented
them to him. He hit the table mighty
blow 20 reconvene court, and fined the
prosecuting witness S25 fur insnltin a
yisitin lady and gent in contrariety ter
law ana eterket New York Tribune
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1898-08-31

Business men have various ways Of
carrying their postage stamps" said
the stamp clerk the other morning
while sitting in his chair at.the stamp
window in the general postofice- "A
good many men who post their letters
here always have one or more stamps
about them. Some Of them carry their
stamps in stamp cases, but the econom-
ical man carries his stamps under the
band of his hat or in his pockets
1.-The other day a young man called
for FIVE twos, and. putting one ON a
letter which he had TO mail, be took
ont his watch and opening the back Of
it slipped the remaining stamps into
the case. They don't stick to the cover,
and that is about the best way one can
carry stamps if he has watch New
York Sun.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1898-08-31
An Erratie Writer.

When Thomas Bailey Aldrich was a
small sala-ied clerk in George w.
Carleton's book store ON Broadway, Fitz
James O'Brien was in the habit Of
dropping int see him, and one day
caTne in rather more than half seas
over. Aldrich decided TO take him
across the street to hotel and F Vt him
to bed. Cautiously and carefSlly le led
O'Brien, but before he had git half
way across a friend stopped him and
asked: "Why do you want to bother
with the fellow. Let him so. " II viii
not, A" replied Aldrich. "He borrowed a
dollar from me a few days ago, and l
can't afford to let anything happen 70
him.
At another time, when be was not
strictly sober. O'Brien found himself
out Of funds He wandered int o pub
lisher's Office and asked for S25. This
was refused him. Angrily seizing a
placard O'Brien reversed it and made
in big letters on the blank side: Zone
Of IS authors am starving" Ty-
ing string to the card. O'Brien placed
it around his neck and paraded up and
down the street, to tie great amuse-
ment of a large crowd He N7as of
course requested to desist. but nothing
stopped his mad course until a So bill
was presented to him as compromise
San Francisco Argonaut
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1898-08-31

A Swede and an Irishman, both OF
them tolerably well known about town,
got into an argument in front Of the
courthouse, and they began telling each
other how it was too bad that their an
cesfors had ever happened TO shed the
wolf robes aud take TO living under COW
er. When things got bit warm. the
Swede remarked that there was no
doubt in his mind that the lrishman
would be entitled, by reason Of his an
cestry, to join some of the pedigree as
sociations but for the unfortunate fact
that most Of those ancestors were hang
ed for stealing sheep.
Il suppose they did their sheep steal
ing with the understanding among
themselves that they were all kings,
and that il was all right to 90 over into
the next county and steal whatever they
could lay their hands on, said the
Swede in conclusion.
"Yes, an be all accounts, said the
Irishman, your ancestors lived IL
Kingdoms so very small that every time
they smelIed a lScktish in the yard Of
a nesghbor they jumped over the fence
an got it, an if they got back they made
a national affair Of it if there was any
pursuit. st. Paul Globe.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1898-08-31

The Indian Of the plains is far more
picturesque individual than his brother
or cousin Of the coast. He does not erect
totem poles and has no timber for the
purpose if so inclined, but he is sufi-
GENTLY spectacular himself without re-
sorting to grotesque carvings and paint
ed wood. His saddle, with its leather
hangings and wooden stirrups, is in
itself a remarkable aggregation, and
when set off with his goods and chat
tells tied in bags, rags, strings and
straps, the effect is remarkable. He
wears the cast of garments of his white
brother in such original combinations
that he looks like the personifcation Of
a secondhand store. Sometimes the
adoption of pair Of guernseys as an
external covering gives him qnIte an
athletic appearance. He wears his hair
in Gertrude braids, and prefers ear
rings about the size of half dollar coins.
A mosquito net or handkerchief is his
favorife head covering, and if he as
sumes a hat it is as an additional and
purely ornamental appendage- Detroit
Free Press.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1898-08-31
Mr. nasap saashea tr plel.n..

''Dodd the Dnstnan, who founded
the barge race, meant TO be the founder
Of the Royal Dramatic college. he offer-
ed the money to Benjamin Webster and
Charles Dickens and was not altogether
well treated in the matter. BE was GER
tAinly not an arissocratic donor, and the
source Of the money might have been
materials for ridicale. bat be certainly
inerited more ciyility than he got. Web
ster shelved him rather shabbiIy, and
Dickens caricatured him as .Bofiin, the
Golden Dustman London Mail.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1898-08-31
Grn.estons EmbIems.

In a cemetery in a neighboring state
lies buried a family of the name Of
Rose. Upon each headstone is cut this
flower. broken at the stem, while upon
the babes tomb is engraved a bud.
Curious as this is in itself, however, it
is emphasized by the neighboring plot
whure lies family Of the name Of Fish,
who have followed the example Of the
Roses by having a small specimen Of
the hnny tribe cut upon each Of their
gravestones.-New.Y Yors Sun.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1898-08-31
Funny Mistake.

a servant lass at an inn once made 8
funny mistake. Opening the door of one
of the rooms, she saw, as she thought,
the handle Of warming pan sticking
ont near the foot of the bed. BLESS
me-" she said, that stupid Martha
has left the warming pan in the bed !
She might kave set the place on fire. +"
Taking held of the handle, she gave it a
violent jerk. when mp jumped an swak-
ened traveller. shouting Justify: "Hel-
10. therel Leave my wooden leg alone,
will yon:"-London Fun.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1898-08-31
A pumss story.

Dumas the elder was rarely spitefui
to CT about his fellow men. but one day,
when he happened to be in that mood,
a friend called to tell him a piece Of
news. They have just given NJ x
the Legion of Honor" he said Then
no added. in a significant tone. "Now,
can you imagine why they should have
given it to him?''
YES" answered the great dramatist
promptly. "They have given it to him
because he was without it
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1898-08-31
Corn Bread.

There is no more wholesome. palata-
BILE aud strengthening article Of food in
the whole catalogue than corn bread. 1t
is truly the staff of life OF the rural Ia
boring CLASSES in the south from years
beginning 10 years end. Among the
brawniest. toughest men in the country
are the hands who work ON the turpen-
tine farms in Georgia Their regular
rations consist of one peck Of cornmeal,
five pounds Of bacon and pint Of mo-
lasses per week. These articles consti-
tute pretty nearly if not quite their
whole bill Of fare during the time they
are IN the woods cutting or chipping
boxes or dipping turpentine, yet they
are always well conditioned. hard Of
muscle and in good spirits--Ssvannah
(Ga- News.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1898-08-31

The average attendance at places Of
worship in England and Wales is CON-
puted to be between 10. 600. 600 and /, =
900. 600 persons There is q place Of
worship for every 500 individuals. tax
ing the country all through. and a stat
ed minister for every 700. About so, 900
sermons are preached every Sunday.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1898-08-31

After she had studied the French bill
Of fare fer a moment Mrs. Porkenham
Of Chicago turned TO the w,j.sr and
asked:
Does co understand Eenglescs''
''Oh, yes. talk it almost like ma
tive. - be replied Il was born and
brought mp in Indiana. .
After that she bad no appetite -
Cleveland Leader.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1898-08-31

Counsel for the Defense-GentIemen,
] appeal TO you to return this unfortu=
nate to his little home. where tender,
loving wife awaits him, where his lit
tie children call him father
Judge linterupting)-I will call the
learned counsel's attention to the fact
that the accused is unmarried.
Counsel tnndisnlayed, continuing
So much tie more unfortunate is this
poor man. who has no little home,
where no tender. loving wife awaits
him, where 40 little children call him
father .-Fliegende Blatter.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1898-08-31
wm Cur. Him rrrn,n.llr-

II feel considerably encouraged about
Slusher.' -
Why, / thought you told me he was
iucurable-that he smoked the nasty
little things necessarily. and they had
given him constant cough.
That's why am encouraged Tho
cough is getting worse. Chicago
Tribune.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1898-08-31
The Good Old Jokes.

Grier-By the way. did ! ever tell
you that story about the end man and
the small boy?
Frier--No. but several hundred other
people have told il 10 me.
Grier--Nonsensel Nobody ever heard
il before yesterday.
Frier-Then it isn't worth hearing.
Boston Transcript