The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1898-08-07
MOVING MADE VERY EASY.
SPACE OF A PIE IN FIFE LIFE OF nm
PHINNEY OF KANSAS.

w " W hAINs u iiNN y Mp ana
the NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. of tho Kan-
Sns Plan ~ MovinE-VRlue of Philosophy.
The house was q very small one or perhaps
this would never have happened. There was
only one room. II was substantially built Of
boards, but weighed very little, which may
also help to account for II.
On that particular day tho house was situated
In the northern part OF Kansas, near Topeka,
but the next day well. you can't always toll
just where a house will DO situated tho next
day in Kansas, on account Of the tornadoes.
II was about noon. and Phinncy wns out In
the cornfeld plouRhing. The wind was blowing
at the rate OF sixty miles an hour. but as this 10
merely q gcntle zephyr in Kansas, Phinney did
not allow It to interfere with his work. He
went right along ploughing. Tho rows were q
trinc uneven, because the wind blew the horse
sideways. and that naturally dragged tho plough
sideways: but you rarely soc n straight row OF
corn in Kansas: so Phinney was not over-par-
ticulur upon that score, II lie took the pains to
SOW the corn in straight. Systematic rows. az
likely as not the wind would blow the seed OUT
OF the ground into his neighbours cornncld. so
what was the usep
Like the horse and the plough, Phinnoy wad
walking crooked. bent in the direction Of the
wind. He seldom walked straight or talked
straight, for that matter. II In his ordinary
conversation he arrived at a point-and the
thing seldom happcncd-his process Of reasons
ing pursued n devious and Zig2aR course, which
varied according to the way the wind blew
This. perhaps. explained the fact that he was o
Republican one year. q Demopop the next and
a rank Prohibitionist the next.
Toiling steadily against the gale. he began
after a while to grow hungry. and. resting on
his plough handle. he opened his tin lunch
bucket. He took out n large piece OF pie and
sitting down on a log, began to eat II, while the
horse. moving a little further along. propped
himself against n cottonwood tree to keep from
being blown entirely awny The pie was made
OF custard with mcringue on top. The wind
blew the meringuc Off. but Phinney contents
eddy consumed the custard.
When the wind blows at the rate Of sixty
miles an hour it blows a good deal Of dust with
It, sitting II through the cracks OF the windows
and under the door stills. Kansas housekeepera
spend their lives in an Intellectual contest with
the Kansas dust.
Mrs. Phinncy had gone about all morning
with n dust rag in her hand. wearying herself
with the effort to combat the elements. wipinG
of the stills and removing layer after layer of
mother earth from each article OF furniture
So. tired out, she had flung herself on the bed
and WIS taking a nap at the, same time that
Phinney was eating his pie IN the eorntield;
was lying. or. rocked very perceptibly; but Mrs.
phinney had lived so long in Kansas that she
wind blew SO that her bed. rocked. She slept
AL Al the spunder therefore. lpiied by the whiss
ting n a q a. moaning a q a4 q, so6bing OF the wind
She slept so soundly that she failed to pera
f fSty fo thGf the ef T the S srST m str9H yfiSIe at a at S9n &c;
tornado, casually passing by that way, took the,
house up bodily. and carving it some hundred
Wichita, which is situated in the southern pparS
of the State. near the territory,
1t was deposited rather suddenly upon terra
tlrma. The sudden jar woke Mrs. Phinney. 49,,
She sat up and rubbed her eyes open with
gether in one corner al Of a heap and the pic.
straight in kansas on account Of the shaking
OF the walls, She thought little of that, but the
accustomed way, it pointed toward her. 1t was
full OF, shingles. like, a roof, and the .poine
reached nearly TO her head as she sat up in the
She arose. and going to the door looked out,
much further south and the vegetation had ada
t taaeedhi ar dhe bES FhSs w w6e qe't shs er eams ana flt the
here sported full-grown leaves:
There was little or no debris in, the path Of
ton tor ' Of the house, %eSt'RR having eHiGTyfb@ een dr wisp DE Se sfSGeiiSS
arrived at that point. A few stray cows hung from
ground and began quietly and gratefully to
nuns mbnnfh the the green grass growing AL round
transnt pf IS tRs axt 4 sylvap ne aspect @S oT Ts stSnd T sbs
had a dazed look. but the plough seemed to be
in prime enough condition. One handle. slight
As Mrs, Phinncy looked out of the door she
saw Mr.. Phinney walking dow tho road in her
Where are wc?" he asked. At the SAND
time he took large bites out of the pie. lnishI
rim sure I don't know" said Mrs. Phinney
BEGINNING, W9manlike. to cry. now that the
Between his mouthfuIs Of pie Phinney gave
quick astonlshed Glances at the house.
What on earth is the matter with the roof"
Mrs. PhinnSsy ran out 70 look
the roof. 1t had, blown It into ,mid-air, and
then upon second thoughts. had brought, 10
extreme suction caused by this sudden reversal
fbd thI LnG"h ad caught every Eag Of clothing in
f hepin n9S to the tn roof !f tSey Sihm had bssn bro %Rffedi o %d;
With i So 3h that rtt t9e f1l hung I in in f. ]ief s. ems al round
articles with the cinch Of a giant clotIcspin.
1t was T. strange enough sight. Mrs. Phin1
Dresses and handkcrchiefs were strung IasfonG
indiscriminately with Nj; Phinney's trousers.
b y tiabbI Ias"'iss' and pnef"M frinecd d"' napiE Efa1
'9"!iHs9 How Vim IN M tho World are We going to get them
down? :" asked Mrs. Phinncy. the h9odGstes Of
thus hung: as Il were, from the h9usetor..
wait until another tornado comes along and
turns the roof right side up again., For one
He looked smllingly away from the roof at tho
landscape. The green prairie sloped awayto
near by. and a little creek gurgled along, be:
It; His smile broadened into a laugh as he
discovered the horse and plough, standing
like this part Of the country better than
where. we came from, " he said to Mrs. PhinS
hI osyaIte rIhubbtf i bHre VEL er ih stake cut a claim and
And that was what he did. though 1t would
seem that he had very little choice In the matt
ter, since the tornado. which runs most thinR6
In Kansas. had located him to suit itself.
THE ENGLISH BARMAID.
Results OF an Investigation Into Her Cous