davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1898-04-23

This is a confident town and a confident
nation. During the progress Of a musical
sketch, with man and woman as actors.
at one of the variety theaters the other
evening, the man suddenly wheeled off the
stage and disappeared into the wings. In
a second he reappeared, carrying an old
musket at a shoulder arms. He marched
across the stage to the martial music of
the orchestra. and halted just before going
into the wings at the other side His
sketch-mate asked him:
Where are you going?''
ITO fight Spain" was the reply, and
the actor continued his march into the
wings. to the sEociferous applause of the
audience. He had no sooner disappeared
than shot was heard from the direction
in which he had gone. and he Immediately
reappeared, carrying his smoking musket.
80 soon?' asked the girl.
Yep; it's all over" answered the man.
and the audience howled.
But 1 fear It won't be SO dead easy as
all that" commented a few.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1898-04-23
A Character,

I'm kind O. sorry fur i'm. cause 1 know
he means il well:
But I wish ne didn't have so many useful
fac-s ter tell.
Hes got 60 educated that his knowledge
has become
second nature to i'm which he can't git
loosened from.
He keeps us fellers sittin' still: We da'sn't
laugh or cough
He never gives any chance at all fur
shown off.
An the folks all gifts TO yawnin when he
starts ter have his say
The man who knows so much it's aIlus
gittin' IN the way.
Ef some one tells story, he won't even
stop ter grin.
He'll talk about who wrote it an what
year twas written in.
An eff Hannah plays the organ, jes' as
soon as she gifts through
He'll lecture on the music like somebody
paid him to.
Ell some one has bunch of flowers, he'll
pick EN- all apart
An go ter botaDizin'. He knows every
thin by heart.
He can't be satisfied ter go on careless-like
gay,
The man who knows SO much it's allus
gittin' in the way.
He amt content ter know bout what this
worli is dom now.
He goes clean back through centuries an
tells the neishbors how
Folks useter do house-keepin' way back
yon in Greece an Rome
Such things is most improvn', but they
don't cheer up Yer home
Like good or-fashioned games where you
kin jine the gals an boys
A-guessin' an a-laughin' an a-makin' lots
O noise.
He's learnt bout everythin', exceptin' how
ter romp an play,
The man who knows so much, it's allus
gittin in the way.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1898-04-23
Her Explanation.

There are incidents of real life which
Constantly prove that truth is often more
amusing as well as more strange than
nction A sweet. genrle-voiced girl-one
from whose disposition sarcasm is as far
as frost from an active volcano-won the
directions OF young man. 1t was an un-
intentional conquest on her part, but none
the less complete. He propounded the old
question and she demurred. He bided his
time and again proffered his suit She
again delayed an answer. But the third
time she received his question first with
silence and then with assent
And you Will be mine?' he asked.
"Yes."
ut seems too good to be true When
shall the wedding take placer"
II cont know"
There is no use in putting it off"
No" she answered: Il think not
Say week from today?''
Very we'll
Il knew that you would realize that you
can be happier with me than without me, -
he suggested little triumphantly.
Yes she answered. Il do realize ii
new. You see, since Uncle Bob went away.
mamma and aunty and 1 have been quite
alone. We all talked ii over and agreed
that it would be ever much safer to
have man in the house at nights
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1898-04-23
SHIPS RANGE OF ACTION

'The pictures in some of the burnt-orange
newspapers of battle ships in action are
about as funny as the Japanese idea of
prospective" said a naval officer to q
Star man. These pictures represent the
opposing ships blazing away at each other
with thirteen-inch rifles at range Of
about hundred feet, and the artists GER
tainly work up the thing to make it look
terrific enough, in all conscience. It's a
wonder to me they don't represent the
crews of the opposing ships in the act of
using graphing irons, as they did in engage
ments at close quarters in the days of the
old 10-gun frigates. AS a matter of fact,
II either battle ship in an engagement be-
tween vessels of today got within such a
range of another, or anything like 1t, 1t
would simply be matter Of the first shot.
One big shell delivered at such q range
would leave only the debris of the struck
ship floating on the surface of the water.
Modern ships of war are not devised to get
within any such range of each other in ac-
ton. The nearest that any of the opposing
ships In the great naval battle on the Yalu
got to each other was a trifie under two
miles. and what one battle ship can do to
another at that range is something beyond
calculation. The naval engagement of this
era is very largely matter Of maneuver-
ing-of presenting the smallest possible tar
get to the guns of the enemy's ships. and of
forcing the enemy to present their biggest
hull 10 the range-fnders. When the COM
mander of a ship in the coming engage
ments can contrive to get in his work on
the enemy's vessels while only pointing
with his nose in their direction-leaving
them practically only razor's edge target
he Is liable to eat them up. But while
there Is still a drill in the United States
navy called 'repelling boarders,' the drill is
only retained in the manual for the sake of
exercising the men, and the only boarding
that will be done in the coming fights will
be done by prize crews. taking possession
of beaten ships, after the latter have
struck their colors."
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1898-04-23
The Wave Theory.

1t does not matter, so far as the true
science OF this chronicle is concerned
whether the statesman mentioned herein
Is a senator or a mere representative. or
whether he halls from the near east or the
lar west. Suffice it that he is in learning
much superior to his fellow statesmen. and
he IS much more of a scientist than he is
a warrior He is also more of a bibulist
than he Is d temperament, and one particu-
lar friend of his is constantly on his trail
with. perSuas1onS of all kinds against this
growing habit. Not long ago the two men
were at the statesman's apartments and
the host was eXpatiating on the wave
theory of light
'Colcr, you know, my dear major" he
was saying, rs a sensation produced bv
the ACTON OF very minute waves upon the
nervous substance of the retina When
these waves have length of about 1-39.
oo0th of an inch they produce the sensa-
ton which we call red. When they
have
The statesman stopped in the midst of
MS remarks to see what his friend was
dolnG or going to do with a tape measure
he had taken from his pocket
Go on, don't mind me-" eXpostulated
the friend. I'm just making a little side
calculation to determine whether the
waves aren't about that size between the
end OF your nose and the northeast cor
ner of the retina of my eye. That's ALL
Go on with your theory; I'm calculating on
practice
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1898-04-23
THE LAW IN THE CASE.
1t Was So Simple That There Was
No Appeal.


The man in the southwest had stolen the
horse beyond the peradventure of a doubt,
for he had been taken with the horse under
blanket. Under the circumstances he
should have been thankful that he had
been granted even so much as a trial by a
judge on soap box, because many such
offenders, with far less evidence of guilt.
mad been swung up to the nearest tele-
graph pole on sight. But this one had had
trial and the verdict had been duly an
nounced.
Gents. remarked the judge, who was
attlred In red flannel shirt and sand
colored panIaloons, take the prisoner"
Inc eager crowd made rush for him,
When lawyer from the effete east who
was present by the merest accident shout
ed to the judge:
stop this business. You are acting con-
trary to the law"
The judge. being a good-natured fellow
and gentleman by instinct stopped it as
requested.
What's that the gent says?" he asked.
rms procedure is contrary to the law
replied the lawyer.
What law?" said the judge, in surprise.
The accepted law of the land
reckon not smiled the judge.
But tell you 1T is persisted the law
yer.
"Aw, go jangle yourself" exclaimed the
judge. Don't l know law? Law is a rule
OF action prescribing what is right and
prohibiting what is wrong. Now mister
and he continued in less friendly tone.
III you air ready to tell these here gents
that 1t is wrong to hang a man fer boss
stealth YOU have got the permission of the
court to do 1t, but the court amt goin TO
be responsible fer what happens to a man
with them senterments"
The crowd assented to this proposition
with shout of admiration for the Judge,
and the legal luminary from the east with
drew with more or less precpitance
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1898-04-23
Paying and Giving.
From the Youths Companion.

From the Youth 8 Companion.
There is an interesting story associated
with the great Cardinal Borromeo, who
was noted for his charities to the poor.
Cardinal Giulio had shown to him the
vast palace which he had just finished.
When he was departing. Borromeo, who
had been silent while inspecting the build
ing, said: Your eminence, 1 have been re-
flecting that the huge sums spent on this
palace might have been given to the poor -
Your eminence." replied Giulio, they
have been all given to the poor; but our
notions of charity differ. l pay the poor
for their labor. and your eminence for their
idlepess."
The reply, uttered more than four hun
dred years ago, is now the rule of intelIi-
gent philanthrouists, who would help the
poor to help themselves. and restrain them
from becoming paupers.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1898-04-23
College Days of u Great Novelist.

When Charles Reade was at Oxford he
was not always. from a proctor's point Of
view. pattern for others to be guided by
One night he and companion. being with
cut cap and gown, were chased by the
bulldogs" Being fleet Of foot, they soon
reached their respective colleges. His
chum was able to square the porter at
Queens. and passed in, but there was no
such luck for Reade when he arrived at
Magdalen.
Being a young man of resources. he
was not to De easily caught, and, looking
about him In the moonlight. he spied a lad
Ter. Planting this under his chamber WIN
dow. he was soon in his own rooms But
the tell-tale ladder remained behind, so he
managed to drag it up after him. He al
ways carried capital sportsman's knife
which would saw as well as cut-and with
1t he began to convert the ladder into fuel.
When his friend from Queens called in
the morning to see how it had Jared with
Reade. he was told, II shall be all right
directly. old man, for I've been up all night
burning the ladder, and 1 have just put the
last bit of the blessed thing on the firen'
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1898-04-23

As the railway car emerged from the
tunnel the passengers were astonished by
wild whoop and when they turned their
heads TO discover its cause they were fur
Their startled by a strange fleeing tumble
of white vestments. suspenders. trousers
legs and coat sleeves. which disappeared
when the door leading to the platform
slammed.
Its an escaped lunatic.' shouted one
OF the passengers who started after the
apparftion.
Hes going to commit suicidew exclaim-
ed another.
Their way through the aisle was block
ed by q young man whose clothes, although
new; did not fit him we'll
Hold on, people," the young man ex-
claimed. "You can't do any good. and
You may make things worse Let hin,
aione-he'lf be all right in a few minutes. %
but now do you know he hasn't
others. ~ eAe
II ne had started out for that. he'd
nave Jumped long ago. and you couldn' +
10 So any GOOD now: Take my word for it,
ne an right. All he wants is a little
time I'll tell You how it was" he went
on, dropping his voice to a conf1dential
Key. Maybe you'n think it was a low
t w Sa sort OF a trick, but 1 was compelled
70 DO something. 1 was after revenge. The
NAN VINO went out I'm the middle of ali
rival" was my
I'm love?
Yes. sir. Do you see that girl sitt,ny
away up In the forward part of the CARP
Maybe you notice that she isn't taking
any interest IN what's going on. She's the
only person in the car that can 90 ahead
reading novel during the excitement.
But II you was to look closer, I'll bet you'd
nnd she was bfushing clear around TO the
ar raaIr
to take away from me- 1 was all but en-
gagged to that girl when he come along
with horse and buggy and scented hair
OIL and got her to thinking that he was
the monarch Of all he surveyed and that I
wasn't anybody. 1 made up my mind to
have revenge. And didn't go around NUT
tering to myself about it like they do in
stories kept my eyes open and waited
for my chance, and Il came today. I
found out that she was going to town
on this train. end ] told him about
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1898-04-23
EMPRESS TAITOy.
some IdiOsyncrastes Of Abyssfnfa's
Rather Remarkable Queen
Frem the London Standard.

Rather Remarkable Queen.
Frcm the London Standard.
There is no European queen consort fill
ing more dignified station than the EN-
press Taitou of Abyssinia She has a large
household of her own, her lord stewards
ctamberlains buffers. cooks and guards
She directs all the grand feasts, has i'm
mense appanages all over the empire, and
resources in kind. She leads sedentary
life because there are no interesting prone
lie she is surrounded with ladies' mounted
on richly-harnessed mules, with runners,
umbrella-bearers and other attendants.
The umbrellas are Of many lcolors. but
Taitous is req.
The empress is a stickler for etiquette
to which Meneiek attaches no Importance
Nobody who has not been formally pre-
scented to her must gaze on her even within
the precincts of the palace She has large
kitchen garden. which is one OF her many
delights, but the moment the red umbrella
appears the gardeners must retire. All the
servants stand aIOof with downcast eyes as
she walks by. Not taking much exercise.
Taitou is lost in fat. Nevertheless, her
presence is dignified. She is wonderfully
well informed, converses cleverly and can
be charming. Her letters are well written,
and in a bright, natural style. They might
put to shame those of many a well-edu-
Gated European lady. The dress of the
empress is only distinguished from that OF
her ladies by its impeccable cleanliness and
neatness.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1898-04-23
EFFECT Of MARTIAL MUSIC

m pretty certain to make more or less
OF conspicuous spectacle of myself from
new on, said a stout, middle-aged Wash
fngton man, who was watching the caval-
1ymen depart the other morning. I'm
irresponsible during the progress of goings
on like Theses. and i don't exactly know
what m doing. although I'm pretty in
offensive. quiet sorteof citizen under ordi-
nary circumsftlnce4!i But even in times
of peace always find it the wiser plan to
slip of On a side street when there is
band OF music marching on the street that
I'm walking on. III don't get away from
the sound of the Music I'm bound to make
an exhibition of myself. To save my life I
cant help but keep step with the music.
and my shoulders Just naturally get back,
and my head gets thrown way up, and
swagSer along thus like a royal dragon.
SO That to look at me you'd think that l
vas just about due to chew UP my weight
In SCORPIONS I'm not a whit better when
there's q band Of music within my hearing
than the coiored brothers that dance in
TIC mt OF the drum major, and always get
suyed- Inc boys on the street catch sight
OF me strutttng along the pavement, as If /
was boss Of the whole thing, and they be-
GIN to point me out and holier I always
feel cheap and ridiculous when they do
TINS, ana try to break step with the music,
put never succeed in doing this until I
have sneaked up side street, where 1 can
no longer hear the martial strains.
Then when I hear the national airs
played by theater orchestra, or by a
darkey with mouth organ, for the matter
OF that. l get all choked up, and I've just
naturally got to let few yells out of me,
or Ia have an attack Of apoplexy sure.
When they spring The Star Spangled
Banner upon me. I'm about as primitive.
elementary. savage sort of biped as the
black people that live on the banks of the
Aruw1mi river in equatorial Africa and 1
can feel myself gurgling inside just like a
mill race Everybody sizes me up as a
rattle5rain when 1 get this way, but 1
can help that. 1 can't change the way /
was built If band were to come along the
street right now and play The Girl Left
Benlnd Me It's dollars to doughnuts that
Ia get chip on my shoulder right off
ard look and talk like fellow that wanted
70 lick his best friend, There's a heap
OF American in me, anyhow, and though
can't help making too conspicuous man
hesitation of 1t once in a while, you can bet
that there's no likelihood of my losing any
OF IT. while there are such trained, scrappy.
superb-looking boys as that to hold I'D the
nonor or the flag" and the man of ire
LIessible enthusiasm pointed to the perfect
sets OF tours of the fighting 9Th passing
down the street
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1898-04-23
WILLING EXILES.
me English and Americans Are Inn
portant Factors in Paris Life.

From the London Mail.
On and after this date" wrote NAPOLEON
1 TO Fouche, 'see that the English are
expelled from Paris"
Such an edict would seem a very large
order at the present day, but it was by no
means small one in Napoleon's time.
"ha1 would The Paris of today be without
Its English colony? From Sir Edmund
Mohson, our ambassador to the pale boy
VINO hies the English journals at Meals
Library, in the Rue Casiglione, the En-
g!Ish are very important factors in Partisan
life
There has befn an English colony in the
french capitalifor many centuries; yet one
might search in vain for similar French
colony in London. The Leicester and Soho
square districts, although owning to a
large French population, possess hardly
trace OF the FLAVOR or mien that distin-
gulshes the quarterathe English frequent
In PariS-and II is not fifth the size
To speak broadly Paris has within its
walled borders little London of many
thousand persons-ilot squalid and i'm
poverished, but Boosting splendid man.
SONS, fine shops, hotels, churches, hos
pitfalls and libraries, and all these to such
an extent that IT is difficult to believe one
is not in the British capital itself
The inhabitants Of this colony might
IouSHly De catAlOEued as follows: Retired
people and genrlefolk who have seen better
days those who desire to have their chill
dren educated il the Rpguage. business
people, authors, Artists, students Journal
lists and professional men; those who have
the best Of private reasons for living out
OF England. and cranks,- which term in
cludes certain individuals who for some
cause o. other have developed feeling
of hatred for the land of their birth
Nearly all are exlles of their own accord.
On Sunday the elite OF the English colony
turns out to the Church of the Embassy
in the Rue dAguesseau. Here for a num-
Der of years DR.. Nayes. who was former
ly Leytonstore incumbent has now
preached, and here a collection bag goes
regularly round, and is as regularly re-
turned in condition of comparative empti-
ness. For your Englishman of the English
colony is either in a condition to help
largely support the church and does, or
else gives nothing at ell.
One thing must be said about the English
and Americans who go to Paris. They
support the city Without their patronage
there is scarcely a big shop on the boule-
wards that would not close Its doors within
q few months.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1898-04-23

The managing editor Of one yellow jour-
ma! was jealous of the competition of his
nejgh5or across the street, and he was
ugly because he thought the opposition
was out-yeliowing him. At 2 o'clock in the
afternoon he came into the city editor
room and the city editor accosted him as
is usual with a city editor when the boss
end he meet for the first time on that day.
We'll" he asked, what do you think o!
the paper today?'
1T is simply numb" replied the manag-
ing editor, as glum as ghost.
Il don't QLite catch on said the city
editor trying his best to do SO.
Z said 1t was numb repeated the man.
aging editor. Numb: numb. Don't you
know what numb means?"
Not in this connection
We'll, you ought to. 1t means without
sensation. Now. suppose you get out and
hustle for something lively, if you don't
want to lose your job Seer
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1898-04-23
~: SsHfEyaI4D 1
nv htuinS"''S SEEh'

and examined to some extent its quantity
which he found to be enormous. Then he
capitalized the investment in Pittsburg and
elsewhere, and in less than a year he had
an iron mine in full operation. 1t paved
from the first day and has been steadily
paying for over twelve years. The hill on
which the residence was located turned
out to be, after ten feet of the dirt was re-
moved therefrom, a mass of iron. The
whole cost of the outfit, including the cost
OF the land, was not over S45 900, and over
Sloo.oO worth OF iron has been sent from
there every year since, with 70 telling how
long the supply will continue. This is not
the only instance in iron mining where
lightning identified the mine. The surpris-
as long as it did. with such an attraction
for lightning Immediately under it,
4 y \
Mules are way up In money value now"
observed horse trader to a Star reporter
land are likely to increase steadily In case
of war. In anticipation of war the traders
have secured options on every mule they
can. in the hope of selling them to the
government AS a great deal of the fight
Ing is likely to be done on the gulf and
South Atlantic coast, all the hauling, light
artillery work and things of that sort, will
be done there. Horses cannot do one-half
as much work in that climate as mules,
and one mule will outlast three horses.
the forts and stations along the Georgia,
South Carolina and Florida coasts are
complaining Of the sand flies, which are
not only annoying and painful to the
men. but are dreadful to horses, for they
are the most persistent of insects, and. un-
like some other insects of the fly kind
worry horses throughout the night as well
as the day. They give horses no rest
whatever, and the animals actually stamp
themselves into uselessness. The sand flies
worry horses, 1t matters not how carefully
they are covered: with the mule it is en-
tlrely different His skin is thick and re-
sists the annoy ance of the sand fly The
mule never gives any sign that the flies
worry him. and 1t Is not supposed that
they 90. Besides that. unless acclimated
horse cannot live long along the coast.
There Is no pasture for him, and while
horses get along for awhile on stable feed
they invariably run down unless they can
occasionally get grass. The mule can live
on what horse will waste and one thing
seems to please him as we'll as another
About month ago contractor picked up
LOCO mules in South Carolina and Georgia,
which he sold to the Spanish government
Ior Seo,o0o. They were shipped to Cuba,
There. as well as here, the mule outworks
horse. An average young mule in the
section named is quoted today at about
SlW Two months ago they would not
bring 500
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1898-04-23
CheCrinG Him.

He was unquestionably an orator. But
he was not content with that gift. He
desired TO deliver speeches which would
read well in print. As a result his pc
RODS were polished till they lost force
They would have made more of an i'm
preston if he had left few jagged edges
on them. His speeches were as famed
for their soporfc qualities as they were
for their immaculate syntax, but his wife
was a confident adrirer of his powers as
speaker Without taking the trouble to
inform herself very thoroughly on the
topics he discussed, she accepted his OBJ
servations with Implicit faith and I'M
bounded applause She had gone to hear
him address the legislature. After IL was
over he remarked:
That speech wasn't the success We hop
ed it would be-.
answered, encouragingly. Il enjoyed it