The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1898-04-18
Picked Up by
The Wanderer

Wabash didn't have any banks. ard
furthermore they would X to see ev-
erybody who sits o the Banks of the
Wabash" fall in and forever relieve a
long-sunering people from the agony OF
the topical song fiend. The Banks of
h wabash" Is a pretty nice little piece
OF music and when the Margaret theater
orchestra played II. 1t was received with
applause.
But when the Margaret theater or
chestra played it the musicians didn't
know that they were putting forth a
device of torture that would put the
Spanish inquisition to shame. The Mar
garet theater orchestra played ''On the
ank of the Wabash" IN fine style. as
mentioned above, but they either play
ed 1t too fast or their rendition lacked
In clarity, for OF the thousand people
who heard the orchestra play IL, not
one remembered more h the first
few strains.
Blu 1t is a Godsend that they didn't
remember more than the first few
strains, because IL they had Warm
Springs would be called upon to take
care of thousands OF innoe mt victims.
The few strains that the gallery did
remember, however. VIII never be for
gotten, for they have been repeated at
least a million times since the night the
piece was played by the Margaret thea
ter orchestra Everywhere one goes-on
the street, into restaurants, saloons.
drug stores-everywhere comes to the
overburdened hearing the first line OF
ION the Bank of the Wabash" Not
only does the victim hear ION the Banks
of the Wabash" but he can get any
number, size, color or sex of variations
that are made to fit in, and they are
sung, hummed, whistled, shouted.
screamed and shrieked at people in a
thousand different voices and q thou
sand different keys.
One cannot escape the Banks of the
Wabash" no matter where he goes. One
man went down to the creek to see IL
standing on the bank of a stream would
put him In harmony with the tune. No
sooner had he taken a seat on a rock
than a Ion trout fisherman hove in
sight, or rather he hove in hearing, for
the Banks of the Wabash preceded
him The city hall, where the district
court tries grave matters of public in
%terest, where the council sits in all its
dignity, where the county commission
ers are about to let a 500, 600 contract.
where everybody is under bonds to keep
things straight. the city hall is filled
from basement to garnet with a whis-
thing, singing, humming mob that
makes the Banks Of the Wabash" ft
to any and all times. Even the prison.
ers in the county Jail nav learned 1t;
the fire department men blow 1t on
Chief Mentrum's trumpet, and nowhere
is there relief from 1.-The Banks of the
Wabash"
1t makes n sigh for the good old
days when annie Rooney" held the
floor. and when Maggie Murphy's
Home" was a paradise. Even the ur-
gent request made upon Mr.. johnson
to release some one is preferable to being
dragged by the ears along the Banks
of the Wabash"
The proposition to provide the police
department of the city with bicycles has
stirred up all kinds of excitement in
the department. The officers have
shaken dice to see who shall ride the
first wheel purchased by the city,. and
Nick Bozanitz won the toss. Nlck's
good luck made Frank Stebbins so mad
that he declared that il Mayor Lesser
didn't buy wheels enough for all. he
would steal one somewhere. 1t Is
probable that Mayor Lesser will make /
the suggestion with regard to equip
ping the police department with bicycles
at the next meeting of the ouncil 1t is
understood that there will be no oppo-
sition from any of the aldermen, and
IL the mayor carries out nat is gen.
orally expected he will. the department
will be on rollers by the time the new
council takes its seat.
Liz ACCOUNT o the kllllng OF a DOD-
tailed dog by Chief of Police White-or
more properly speaking, the attempted
killing-made Night Chief Frank
O'Brien smile from one side Of his rosy
face to the other. But Frank has no
smile coming for yesterday IL turned
out that he had a little dog killing ex-
perience that holds it's own with that
of the chief. A few nights ago. it seems,
Franks attention was called to a white
bulldog that was acting queerly around
the corner of Third and Main streets.
Frank said he would soon fix him.
Frank Is a powerful man and he has a
powerful club. So Frank pulled out his
powerful club and began Delaying the
white bulldog about the ears with 1t.
the dog keeled over, to all appear
ancee, a dead white white bulldog. But
Frank is a policeman of thoroughgoing
ways and in order to make sure he put
his pocket-edition of Uncle Sans 10
inch guns to the dogs head and let her
He then tool the white bulldog by
around to the rear Of Mr.. Twohy's liv-
cry stable. where he threw him in a
half full of stable refuse.
About ar hour later dismal howlings,
varied with piercing shrieks, began to
out upon the still night air. A
man ran up to Officer Billy Powers and
asked where O'Brien was. Billy didn't
" II nc Wds the I1dttcI
He killed a dog a little while ago.
hep"
Yes said Billy, "why?"
well, the dog amt dead and he's
bowling ft to wake the dead"
So Billy went after Frank and the two
big policemen went after the white ull-
dog right. They climbed into the wagon
the dog sent forth his pitiful
yells. Frank didn't like to shoot again,
for fear Of running out Of ammunition,
so he got down and tool the hickory
tongue out Of the wagon and climbed
back with II.
Now. Powers" said Frank, "you hold
! match SO that I can see where to hit
him." Powers held the match and
Frank let go his wagon tongue. Final
y, after In hours hard work, Frank
assured himself that the dog WAS FULLY