Weekly independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 1887-1914, 1898-11-18
A WESTERN
The Colonel Came 4 tho Cancellation
That He Wasn't Cut Ont for
the Legislature.

When Col. Bannister left Chicago
for the mountains for the benefit Of
his lungs he had a dim idea that he
would settle down somewhere and put
in a term in the state legislature.
He reached Pine Top City to find the
climate oil he hoped for, and after
q few days he preached the subject of
ofice-getting to the landlord Of the
hotel.
I'm a new men here" vas the re-
ply, but l know n Teller who can tell
you all about ii and I'll send him m"
The "feller" proved TO be an ex-mem-
Der OF the legislature. and when the
subject was stated he replied:
"ies, j can tell you jest how to work
II, and IL you want me TO I'll run your
campaign and agree to land you in the
senate"
The colonel expressed a desire for an
outline OF how the campaign was to
be run, and the Eek laid his gun on
the table before him and said:
Il don't reckon you brought one
with you, but that's a good one and
! can get along without II for n week
or so. The first thing you want TO
do is to 60 out and pick n fuss and
shoot your man."
"Pick a fuss about what?" queried
the colonel.
Don't make no difference. Jest go
out on the street and cuss the town,
the climate or the people. Get up n
row over religion or politics or the
hereafter. When you've got tn a GER
tain pint you nus call the other fell
low 4 liar. He'll reach back for his
gun; but you must get the drop on
him and bore him. Don't get ratified
over II. II you miss him you'll feel
something red-hot go through you and
the campaign will be Off"
"But, Lord ave you. l can't go out
and shoot a man down." exclaimed the
colonel.
Got TO do it. sir-got to do it, or
you can't do no rupnin' for office.
Hayin' killed your man. you want to
announce your political ambitions.
Put about $40 in my hands TO set up
the drinks for the boys and I'll see
that the verdict of the ]coroner's Jury
is all right and tina; Pine Top whoops
'er for you. You'd better pay the
funeral expenses of the victim as well;
the boys are quick TO notice little p'ints
like that"
"And that will be alp" asked the
colonel.
"Oh, no. that will be only the starter
the opcnin' of the campaign. had
TO shoot four men myself, and only
got into the house al that. You play
poker, OF course?"
NO"
Then you must learn. You'll have
to put in your nights in the poker
rooms or the boys will say you feel
yourself too good. How much whisky
can you drink"
"a tablespoonful"
Got TO learn TO drink half q gallon
in a day. \ candidate who don't drink
Mt every bar stands no show. uow's
your voice?"
Very weak"
That's bad. The boys will expect,
about three speeches n day. with one
extra on Sunday. Can you shoot two
handed and ride Il hucking broncho?"
Il don't think ] want to 20 to the
legislaturc!" replied the colonel, after
a moments thought.
well. that's for you to say. I'm
shown you how TO do it. and to hav..
lots Of fun ut the same time. bu, mrbbr
it's jest as well you don't try II. Come
TO Iize you up. I'm afraid you dom
know over half n dozen cuss words.
and that you'd try Ia shoot your first
man with the butt enG Of the gum
Chicago Evening News.
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