The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1898-10-05
All Sorts Of Paragraphs.

Love, like ice, is awfully slippery
and it soon thaws.
= Nothing makes man so sad as
TO have girl jolly him.
Beauty is like cooking stove
no good when the fuel gives out.
Every schooner that goes over
the bar might be termed a naval aux
iliary.
Leading woman to the altar is
usually man S last act of leadership.
"A woman's idea of hopeless
fool is man who praises some other
woman.
The man who wears wig always
puts false construction upon his own
thoughts.
In the orange fields of New Zea-
land the crop has been known to net
as high as $1,000 an acre.
A stubborn cough or tickling in the
throat yields to One Minute Cough Cure.
Harmless in effect, touches the rights spot,
reliable and just what is wanted. 1t acts
at once. Evans Pharmacy.
= You cannot make up your own
moral DEFICIENCIES by railing at the
shortcomings Of other people.
No one has ever been able to ex-
plain why bald-headed men have their
hair cut oftener than other men.
Parson-Even the hairs of your
little head are numbered. Freddie
quilting out hair)-What number is
this
During courtship lovers overlook
each others faults, but after marriage
they spend most of their time looking
for them.
When you call for DeWitts Witch Ha-
eel Salve, the great pile cure, don't accept
anything else. Don't be talked into ac-
cepting substitute, for piles, for sores,
for burns. Evans Pharmacy.
Don't fret, and fume, and fer
ment; and never trouble trouble unless
trouble troubles you. 1t is the best
and safest plan, and works out good
for every man.
= Make a concession rather than
make fuss and engender bad feeling,
for it is grand and noble and magnan-
imous to yield when there is no prin
cipal involved.
= Minnie-Papa informed me that
he was very much opposed to George.
Violet-And what did you say ?
rMinnie-I notified him that interven-
tion would mean war.
= With the exception Of some Of
the gold mines offered for sale by
promoters there isn't much left on
earth to discover.
= A wife certainly has no cause
for complaint if her husband doesn't
love her any incorporating he does
not love her any less.
Truth wears well. People have learned
that DeWitt's Little Early Risers are reli-
able little pills for regulating the bowels,
curing constipation and sick headache.
They don't gripe. Evans Pharmacy.
"A Missouri statue makes it a
penitentiary offense for husband to
desert his wife until they have lived
together at least ten years.
What a pleasant world this would
be if we did not have to go to bed
when We are sleepy, and have to get
up when we are!
= Under the old Blue laws of Con-
necticut ''any person who shall stand
by and see two dogs fight and not try
to separate them shall be deemed gull
ty of breach of the peace, and shall
lie in jail the length Of seven days and
nights. ~ There couldn' have been
much fun in those days.
= Wood for tennis rackets requires
at least five years seasoning-that is
to say, it requires to be kept for FIVE
years in the rough timber state before
being cut up for use. Wood for pianos
is kept, as rule, for 40 years before
it is considered sufficiently in condi-
ton to be used.
You invite disappointment when you
ex pertinent. DeWitt's Little EARLY Risers
are pleasant, easy, thorough little pills.
They cure constipation and sick headache
Just as sure as you take them. Evans
Pharmacy.
The average man is pleased to
have his baby or his dog praised, but
admire his wheel and you have found
the shortest and most direct road to
his heart.
= The fertilizer business is on a
boom. One of the railroads leading
out of Charleston shipped over twenty
times as much fertilizers in the month
Of August, 1898, as in August, 1897.
The great bulk of this trade was not
Tn cotton sections but to the great