The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1898-07-16
TROUBLE ALL THE WAY UP.
He bought n "HObson's Choice Down
Town and and in a Hos
pitaI Up Town.

The nurse adjusted the bandages on
the patients head in one of the wards of
a big hospital uptown and then she
said:
Now you may tell me how it hap
pened, if you will promise to be very
quiet"
We'll, you know Monday was a
warm day" he began, so l went into
a store and told the man that l wanted
to buy a straw hat. He picked up one,
put It on my head and he says: That's
the hat you want just that way. l
| said | would like to look at others. He
said he had others, but insisted on my
taking the one he had put On'my head.
l asked him if there was anything the
matter with that hat. and he said no.
but it was the one he picked out for
me as soon as he saw me come in. It's
HobsoE's choice he said. 'Whose?'
l says. "Hobson's,' he says. l said I
didn't know him. Then he said every
body was saying that, and if l wanted
to be strictly in it would take the hat
and if anybody said anything TO me
dDOul IL L SlOuiu SdN IL WIS IlOOSOh ,
choice, and the drinks would be on the
other fellow. So / paid him S1.5o, and
went away under the new hat.
"When l was going up the steps at
Park place station l met an Did &C
quaintance who says: Where did you
get it, l wanted to be sure he meant
the hat, and l says: Where did | get
-l.4Ds sTlz Ill l. Tl.A
threw me off. l asked him what he
meant, and he pointed to the ~headpiece
and says: That. You look like a calf
under a new shed, he says. That's one
of Hobson's, l says. Which tsp he
says. The hat is 1 says. L didn't
know Hobson was in the hat business
he says Which one of them?' l says.
Then he laughed and poked me and
says: Which one are you talking
about?' Honest l says, It's Hob
sons If it's Hobson's,' he says. you'd
better take it back to him and tell him
to give YOU your old one. You don't
seem to know about it. | says, and then
1 told him about how everybody was
talking about Hobson. He looked at
me and says: You'd better take ONE
thing for it
And then L says: All right, come
on and we went into the first place
and we stood there quite awhile, and
when we went out l found it o IS me
about a dollar and he hadn't paid any
thing.
$50 l left him and came on uptown,
thinking all the way up. Two men
were on the seat in front of me. l
couldn't hear all they said, but one
of them remarked as his station was
called that he s'posed it was Ho5son's
choice.
Then | looked at my hat to see if it
was all right. 1t seemed as if II was
too small, but l put it back and went
on to Forty-second street, where | got
off and went into a lunch place, where
I met another acquaintance. Pretty
DOR he says: That was a brave thing
for Hobson to do l said yes. You
heard about it?' he says. Yes | says,
and il cost me $3.50. and you will please
sell your gold bricks to somebody else
l says. Don't take me for a fool all
the time l says. You must be crazy
he says. 4 got no gold bricks he says.
I'm talking about the brave man who
sunk his ship in the harbor. > What's
his name?' l says. 'Hobson,' he says
Then l got up and took my hat from
the peg and showed it to him and l
says: That's Hobson's.' He looked at
it and says: Why don't you wear your
own hat? What are you doing he says,
wearing Hobson's hate And then l hit
him. And when 1 came to l was here"
N. Y. Sun.