The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1898-07-01
The Rocker Tidy.

distress, and yet, more happiness,
than the old fashioned rocker tidy,
and l am not speaking in parallels
when | say that. | never speak In
parallels, that / am aware of, be-
cause would rather go at what l
have to say in more roundabout
way. enjoy talking, whether any.
body listens or not, and | always
feel that the longest way around is
the safest way to the point l may
be trying to make.
Neither is it a paradox, even
though it seems to be one, because
down here on Goose Greek we
don't use paradoxes in our business.
A "rocker tidy" causes happiness
and unadulterated ecstacy of en-
joyment beyond the comprehension
of an ordinary man. What woman
has not spent days In tribulation
and manipulation of crochet need
es,making tides? She will spend
money enough for thread and
material, such as is required, to
stock farm, and the man who
grdmbles is set down by the whole
fraternity as a heartless brute. And
no doubt he is one, for if a woman
is willing to work week in and
week out until one should think her
fingers were worn off clear to the
knuckles, ought not the men to be
willing to buy the thread?
But "rocker tidy" probably has
more relentless appetite for linen
thread than threshing machine.
II consumes spool after spool with
an avidity that is equal to a poll
tician's hunger for office. Yard up
on yard is skillfully woven into the
fabric, with no perceptible change
in the size or appearance of the
"tidy," and we do not believe a wo-
man would enjoy herself if it did
affect it. A woman is not figuring
on speed when she is at work on
one of those instruments of pleas
ure and hilarity.
] should like to see good, old
fashioned tidy animated and en-
dowed with ability to talk. What
an astonishing tale of sewing cir
cles and thimble bees and mission
ary meetings it could tell. 1t could
tell stories of somebody's naughty
children and of somebody e.se's
children having the measles, and
of things that have been and that
are to be; of principalities and
powers, princes and potentates,
world without end.
When the thread all goes in a
tidy is and will eyer remain a mys-
terry to all men, as securely guard
ed and as inaccessible as If locked
up in the bosom of the sphinx. The
thread used by the Liliputians to
bind Gulliver would not make be-
ginning on any tidy. A thread
factory's supply would probably
make a start, and not very much
more. Still, some people rail at
woman's lack of industry. Think
of crocheting by hand a "rocker
tidy" and then conclude whether
or not a woman is Industrious.
What man has not enjoyed the
exquisite, the indefnable pleasure
of having "rocker tidy" crawl
coolly, steadily down his back like
a thousand-legged worm with FROST
ed toes? And then, man has to
sit iinmovable as the statue of Ma
poleou Bonaparte, smiling pleas
antly, chatting glibly, not knowing
but what the next moment the
creeping, crawling thing may in.
sert fang where 1t will do the
most good, and snuff out his sweet,
young life forever. The cold sweat
stands out in marble-sized drops
on his forehead, and he is about to
fall in swoon when the hostess
pleasantly picks up the "tidy" as
II nothing had happened, and lays
it aside to save him from embarass-
ment.