The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1898-02-26
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worst enemy. PUCK.
Founder has had to go out OF the
band" what was the troubleT HE
has got too fat to balance the bass
drum. Chicago Record.
"Our organist has an easy time OF II.
In what wayT' when he wants his
wheel pumped up he attaches 1t to the
organ. Chicago Record.
He-"I suppose If your father found
me here he would kick me out of the
door, She-"Oh. don't know; papa :
punting is wretched. Jour
nal.
Chorus of Excited Voices Heavens.
A boat wrecked. you say? And none
of its occupants escaped" Life-saver
tgrimly)-"Only the fellow who rocked
it."-Truth.
Jill-'Is Gill a good judge of cigarsy 2
BILL think he must be. lie had two
last night and he gave me one. lie
must have kept the best one. "-Yon-
kers Statesman.
A bald-headed man tainted the other
day from the heat He was very in
dignant, when he was revlying, at
hearing a Cockney exclalm, Give him
hair-give him hair"
THE horse has another point of l.
periority over the wheel" What Is
it?' when IA horse is getting ready to
shy at anything, you can tell It by his
40 49,, Chfna srn L oanpI
Hall-"What are you doing nowI'
Gallon, I'm making a house-to-
house canvass to ascertain why people
don't want to buy new patent clothes
wringer. Chicago News.
Darling" he cried. Il cannot live
without you" But" she replied my
father is bankrupt" in that case, he
despondently replied, Il guess Ill go
and shoot myself. Chicago News.
eacher-"Don't any of you know
how to find mountains on the map!
Now, look at this map of Alaska. What
is that row or chain of dark. round
spots?" Glass lin chorus)-"Nuggets"
Puck.
Allce-"What gallant person Mr..
Dunkley Is. He never addresses me
without beginning Fair miss. Dor
othy-"Oh, that's force Of habit. He
used to be street-car conductor. =
Cleveland Leader.
Bowery Bill-"Say, young Teller. you
ought to stop smol1in' cigarettes. Dey
amt good fer yer" Cholly "Wwhy
not?" Bowery Bullock how nery-
Gus yer get just cause gen'l'man asks
yer fer a light. Puck.
Teacher-"Well, Jane what Is your
fathers businessY' Jane-"Hes coll
lector. num- Teacher-"And for
whom does he collect money! Jane
He doesn't collect money. He's col
lector of rags. boston Ideas.
She-~But surely you believe that ne
sins of the father are visited on the
children He-"Rather. My COVER
nor promised to let me have a flyer this
morning; but he lost 1t at poker last
night, so didn't get itr'-Puneh.
Boswell" said DIR Johnson, meet
Ing the biographer on the street. Il
have been reading your manuscripts.
There is great deal about yourself in
them. They seem TO me to be YOU
moirs rather than Memoirs. Puck.
Shelf you could have one Wish.
what would 1t beY' He-"It would be
that-that-oh, If 1 only dared 10 tell
YOU what 1t would be" She-'Well,
20 on. Why do you suppose brought
Up the wishing subject Chicago
News.
Mrs. Porkley-"I often wonder how
people manage To understand each
other In France" Mrs Gotham-"How
absurd" Mrs Porkley-"Well. both
my daughters speak French, and they
cant understand each other '-U,p-to-
Date.
Proprietor average hotel1-"Nery
sorry. sir. but you will have 10 cave
this house at once" Guest-"Goodness
me. What have done?' Proprietor
isolemnly)-"You said something to n
walter which has displeased the cook
yellow Book.
Lady interviewing housemaidl-
why did you leave your last placer
Housemaid-"Bec the master kiss
ed me. mum" Lady-"And you didn't
like II. eh:' Ilousenaid-"Oh did
Mt mind II. mum, but the mistress did
nit ike it,'--Fun.
Miss Quickstep-"Wh part of town
are we driving through, Mr.. fibblei'
Fweddy-"I haven't the least idea, -
Miss Quicksiep-"1 was aware of that,
Still. thought It possible you might
know what part of town we are driving
through. Chicago Tribune.
Miss Ancient Wantiman tsudlenly
awakeningl-"l see you have my pocil
et-book. but there's very little money in
that compared with what | have In
bank" Burglar lgruflyl there
aiut no way TO gl that" Miss Ancient
Wantlman-"Il'm. Are you a single
manf'-Puck.
"Borus, in your last novel you spol
the story by raising an insnrmountabl,
barrier between the hero and heroine
who certainly ought TO have married
each other Il couldn't help IL. Nag
gus. My wife insisted that was IN,
hero of the story myself and she go
Jealous of the heroine. Chicago Tro
une.
man who gets out of his usual rut