The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1898-12-07

The sad story of a Jay Told In the
ternnculnr.

New 1NFk Press.
I don't know the origin OF this: x was
hanasd 20 ne by collector Of cursosities
OF literature and ia supposed 10 he a letter
from here by one PIissourser 20 another.
give few extracts:
Why can't a teslow put on new slis.
MAKE few calls and 80 home like a gen.
tienan? The minute | Sot into that new
sack suit l fell on the water wagon with
an awful bump. although hadn't touched
drink for thirty-seyen days. Oh but
got lovely bun on! That's the last. M
more FOR me- THERE'S nothing In IL II Any
s seay SAY SAYS; Hax s,,,i something Mlly yeun
teFuay AZ 80 had "A hundred aud ten dol
lars This morning I'm there with dollar
eiSnty, and that's the draw cut Of a two
OF those bright people who try TO keep up
with a lot or guys who have nothing 10 do
oat blow Their COIN l stood around yastsr-
eas aud looked wise. and licked up about
forty hish-balls. Then l stretched"
The writer continues:
Whenever l stye ono OF these stretches
ana swell up bit, that's a sign am be-
ginning TO get wealthy. I switched over
ana took a couple o. girl-nxxes and then
II nix me- Was richer than Jay Gould
ever was. l had the Rethschas backed
clear OF the board and made William II,
Vanderbilt look like a hundred To one shot.
| got a little ref spot in each cheek. and
t,isn ! leaned over the bar and Whispered
Mr.. bartender, break a bottle OF that
pommery.' Ordinarily l call the booza
clerk by his nrSt name but when you ara
cutting into the grape at four dollars per
you always want 10 say Mr. bartender. and
just nod your head each time yeu open Z
FAsw bottle. as il makes Il appear as IL you
are accustomed - ordering wine You see
jim. that's whore | got of nay dip. That
wine affair IS ala awful stunt for a fellow
who makes not over two thousand q year.
carries ten thousand life and rooms In a
fiat that's fifteen month stronger than ho
can stand"
Let US so on: this appeals to humanity:
i lost the push / started out WITH and
got mixed up with fellow named Tliorne
or Thorpe or something, and We got along
great for a while lie knew "A lot of fellows
In Boston that ala. and every time We
mentioned new mutual friend we opened
another bottle. don't know just what tina
total population OF Boston is. but we must
have known evet yhDdy there Finally
'fhoFne got to crying because his mother
had died. You know am good fellow so
l cried too, always cry some time during
a bat, and thsre was an opening for
your life / made Niobe look Ike a two
spot. Between sobs asked him about thu
sad affair and found that his mother had
died when he was bern. had wasted y
wad of cries that would feat the Maine.
and | was sore for fair. A fat fellow cut
into the argument, am. there was three
miraltes' rough house. To avoid compllca~
tons l blew the bunch ard started up tho
street. | guess. the wind must have been
against me. was lacking When got
up this morning I had TO ask the beiiboy
what hotel | was In. I'll see the fellows
tonight, and they'll all tell me how dirty
nay, face was. ard what ! called so~and,so.
and make me feel as had as they possibly
can. Its n wonder fellow doesn't get
used to that but ! never can. Gtiess I'll
take the veil. Don't fail 10 come down
ing on the Ohio river. II wiz be lovely BILL
l!ards"