The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-01-02
DOOLEY AND HIS DUST.


was bent over a little leather-covered
/ book when Mr.. Hennessy came in, and
he was mutterlng to himself: ''Sivin
an six is 1S, put down three an carry
wan; eight an four is u, plus wan is
10; put down all iv it. Wan hundred
an thirty three. My-ah, tbs har-rd
wurruk r-runnin tn finances iv a
large business
what ARE We doin?" said Mr.. Hen
messy.
I've opined a bank account" said
Mr.. Dooley, with pride; an I'm goin'
TO close it to-morrah.'
4 had twinty dollars in savin' S
bank wanst," said Mr.. Hennessy, AN
it bust up TIL thief that r-run tn
bank carried it over to Europe with
him an spint it on wine, women an
song. May tn wine pizen him, tn
women bate him, an tn song break
tn drums iv his ear. If We had wife,
We wuddent put ye-er money in a
bank. Ye wudden't be let. TIL good
woman keeps mine in a pocket that
Spike Hinnissy cudden't find his way
to. Amy wan that robS nell have to
steal her, too-an' he'll have none tn
best iv it,
''Ye'er speakin' tn TRUTH" said Mr..
DOoley. I've always kept what little
change I had. I'll not tell We where,
I1lIltllSSy. LII uSt We, Out ye IiiSul
| walk in ye'er sleep. Twas Father
Kelly put me up to takin it to tn
bank. He says, says he: TIL best
thing that can happen to a man is to
soak away tn roly-boly. 1t makes him
careful he says, an him an me wint
down to tn Tinth NayJional bank,
where he has a friend. He took me up
to la-ad-an' wan that didn't look any
too square at that-an' says he: This
Z iG fri 10
He's anxious to make a deposit in
ye'er bank
:" Very WELL, says the la-ad, with
his nose in tn air. Write ye'er name
down in this here book he says.
q" What f'r? says 1. I've been
mighty suspicious iv signin' me name
to anything since I signed a petition
FIR a rayform candidate FIR alderman
when L thought l was askin' to lave a
man out iv ti.' pinitinchry
Z" We want to know ye'er signature,
says he.
" For why?' says L
" Sign ye'er name said Father
Kelly. It's all right.
so 1 signed me name an he give me
this here little book an wan iv them
check books an sent me acrost to
where there was a bit av a boy behind
tn bars.
" We'll says tn kid, where's tn
money--th' money we're goin' to de-
posit?' he says.
AN what's it TO ye,' says L
" I want it, says he.
Do YEP says I. Well, if We think
We can git it come out an thry,' says
1. If me eyes don't deceive me it's
wantin' peoples money that's put We in
that there cage 1 says.
DO We want to make a deposit?'
says he.
4 do says L
Thin give me tn money, he
says.
''Divvle cint,' says I I don't like
ye're looks. can't thrust ye I wurrked
hard FIR this money playin' forty fives,
an I'll put it nowhere but in an iron
safe. says I.
BE this time Father Kelly come up.
an says he: Foolish man; give him
we're money. An 1 give it to tn kid
Dye believe it, Hinnissy, he thrun it
on one side as though twas an OF
shirt
BE careful says I; yen break it.
Man alive, don't We know no more
thin to be handIin Sood stuff like pig
iron?" But Father Kelly dhragged me
away.
Z was half mind to jump off tn
ca-ar an go back an dhraw it out.
Thin I though I'd write to me frind
"
years off an on, whin it was Dimmy-
cratic. 1 wisht 1 had it now.
This mornin' Dorsey tn plumber
come in f'r little bill I was OWN
him.
How much is it, says L
Five dollars, says he.
4 set down an wrote out a check tn
way Father Kelly showed me, an toss
ed it TO him.
What's ttis?' saws he
A check, says 1, f'r five bucks on
tn Tinth Naytional bank, where keep
me capital
Look here says he, 4 didn't fix
no catchbasin an no beer pump FIR tn
Tinth Naytional bank, he says. I done
1t f'r you. an l want ye'er money
My good sir, says I, that check is
as good as money, an even betther,' 1
says. Behind it, says l. is not only
me own capital, but tn entire capital
includin' money lint on Alley L stock.
iv tn Tinth Naytional Bank SAYS l.
had the facts firm tn good ma-an.
More than that says 1, TIL whole
goyernmint iv tn United States is be-
hind it, 1 says. TIL ARMY an navy
check, 1 says. Mckinley was elected
to make that check good, says.
don't care IA cloth FIR. wipin'
j'ints, he says. / voted FIR Bryan an
+ want money an, bedad, 1 had to
give it to him.
We'll, sir, thried that there check
on five diff rent men an ne'er a wan iv
thin wud take it. Tn last wan was
O'Connor, tn butcher.
What is it?' says he.
&" a check says I.
'' So it is says he. so it is. An a
very purity wan, too. Where'd We git
it?'
E" I made it, says /.
Did We So? says he. Well, We
dhraw well. What ARE We goin' to do
with it?'
II want We to take it again that bill
We STINT me-
What?' says he I told him agin.
=" Faith, says he, we must think I'm
crazy. I can buy a pitcher tin times
as big as that FIR three dollars he
says. Well, sir, wud We believe it.
they've had the story round that Mar
tin Dooley's gone daft an is up an
down the road thryin' to pass off a
piece of green paper as money. TIL
loot was in to see if l was vilent lust
before We came. I haven't had a clint
iv money all day except what little 1
took in, an yesterday l was fair rowl-
in in wealth. What will l do about
It?''
Get it out iv the bank" said Mr..
eagerly ''I'H go down an
give that kid a talk an do you sneak
tn roll
ssVelI" said Mr. nooIav or, oo;,,,