Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1898-01-27
THE TIDY HUSBAND.
He Is Even More Exasperating Than
the One Who Is Careless.

the One VINO LIS Careless
Is there anything more trying on this
earth than tidy" husband-that is to
saw the man who thinks himself the
very pink of perfection, as far as neat
ness goes, and yet who has absolutely
no idea of orderIinness? His own
belongings, clothes, pipes, books, etc.,
are allowed to lie all over the house,
and an attempt to put these in their
right places brings down torrent of
grumbling on his wife.
'Why cannot she mind her own bust
ness? Is nothing private from a wom-
ans prying and curiosity? Let her
would certainly be improved by little
more care" etc.
But other peoples untidiness-ah!
that is theme upon which he is never
weary of talking and periodically he
has fits of tidying up at home, where
life, for those in the house, is one long
WEAKNESS.
Then nothing is private from his pry-
ing and curiosity; books and papers are
carefully sorted out and put back in the
wrong places; those which his wife has
especially laid by for future reference
are either tied up with the waste paper
to be sold or sent out to the kitchen
to be burned; letters are torn up in
discriminatory, whether they are an
swered or not; the cupboard shelves
are packed with a lot of rubbish which
is really useless, and which was only
waiting an opportunity to be got rid
of; and for the next few weeks con-
fusion reigns supreme; nothing can be
found when it is wanted because every
thing has been put just where it
shouldn't be.
When he has tired of making him.
self thoroughly Objectionable down
stairs, he goes upstairs and turns out
all his boxes and drawers, and-leaves
them; for his fit of tidiness does not
last sufficiently long to allow of his
reducing the middle he has made to
neatness; that is for his wife to do
later on.
With 4 buster, too, he goes about
fiicking up imaginary particles of dust
which don't exist, and a piece of string
and a reel of cotton out of place APP
parently causes him agony and is the
subject of long homily on 1.-The amount
of rubbish which is allowed to accumu-
late unless there is some one to take
an interest in the house"
There are generally premonitory
symptoms to warn the observant wife
that the fit is coming on-a restless I'M
easiness, an aimless moving of the orna-
ments on the mantel piece and the re-
iterated question:: where is that
hook Tor that paper) that was read
ing?" He sighs frequently, too-a sigh
of WEAKNESS and hopelessness, as of a
man who battles unsuccessfully with
the faults and failings of others; his
face wears a wearied and heartbroken
expression, and little frowns appear on
his forehead. He refuses to make or
join in any lengthy conversation, talk
ing only in snatches, and then on the
most gloomy subjects; he even heaves
against his favorite pipe, which refuses
to draw" and he spoils six matches
for every one that he lights; and by the
next morning his malady is fully de-
veloped and as soon as breakfast is
over he begins to tidy up"
But although one may see the out
break, it is difficult to know just how
to check it, and indeed it is often wise
to accept it as an inevita BILE discomfort.
There are so many worse cranks which
he might take up, and, as we are all
supposed to be slightly mad on one sub
iect at least, mania for tidiness-in
other peoples at most a harmless
idiosyncrasy.
If the fit threatens to be very bad
one it may be rendered less severe by
extra sweetness and kindness of man
ner, by an excellent dinner or the judi
cious leading of the thoughts in another
direction.
Or the wife may anticipate her hus-
band and have ''tidying up" spell on
her own account. The bustling about,
the extra dust-which can always be
raised if one goes the right way to
work-with a few gloomy references to
u good clean up will usually so tire
him out that he will be only too glad
to allow things to stay as they are, that
he may enjoy little peace and quiet
nesS-Philaderphia Times.