Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1898-07-31

if were youf sister. or twhack-
ssHaellot~of agaips Hurt your.
I Eyes, it did, and I'm glad 1T. No:
| go away. l won't let you help me
kfhount / can: do it myself" lRattle,
crash, thump.)
"As a tender hearted man who can't
| endure seeing dumb wheel misused,
! / feel bound to interfere. Come. EN-
| ma, I'm sorry jollied you, but I
| thought you didn't mind that sort Of
| thing"
81 don't except when 1 am trying to
ride a wheel. Anything CRATES on my
nerves then. Now, put me on, please"
Lean over to the other side. Hard!
Look cut! Damn"
Charley" with deep reproach).
beg pardon, but you can't expect a
| man to lose the better part of one shin
without some mild observation.
"Oh, I'm so sorry. Did 1t hurt you
awfully?'
mot case for the ambulance That
| Internal pedal caught me with all your
weight on it. Now try it again. (Con-
siderable pause)
"Oh-h-h-h-h! What shall do?
Here comes another bicycle. Take me
off, Charley"
There isn't anything coming. Go
ahead"
Yes, there is. / see the light. I
shall run into it, | know / shall if you
don't get me Off Charley, where are
you?"
''All right. I'm coming. Heavens
and earth. Don't sweep that way.
| Look out! Turn to your right"
Thumpety-thump, bang, rattle, crash.
"Oh, dear. Is that you ran into,
Charley? How did do it,"
Unusual ingenuity in the murderous
management of a wheel. Will you
kindly explain what it was you were
lodging when you turned on your own
axis and made wreck of me and my
trousers? l may possibly be of some
use again, but they never will. Did
you see a ghOst?"
st was wheel. Did you see it?
| The light was wobbling all over the
road. l never could have lodged it in
the world, even if my wheel didn't al
ways make straight for whatever l
wanted to avoid"
"All wheels do that, but all riders
don't see imaginary lights in the act of
| running them down. Must be rev b.
cycle ailment."
Look, look, Charley! There it is
| now! Don't you see it? Oh, it's gone.
No; there it Is again Can't you see
| it,"
Young woman, is that the thing
| that terrified you into making an I'M
| provoked assault en- an inoffending citi-
zen whose only crime has been to abet
I you in course of wholesome destruc-
ton? Is it? Tell me without delay"
when you talk that way l never
| know whether you're fooling or not.
Of course, that was it.; that light. Now
{ l don't see it. Yes; there it is again.
| How strange"
! Not so strange to one who under
! stands the habits of the ponderous and
bloodthirsty FREELY l shall take you
/ home at once before you collide with
! one of them and are utterly destroyed.
Come, mount. III support your totter-
| ing revolutions as far as the asphalt
lasts. Sufficient unto the night is the
evil thereof" CA long pause. Then in
the distance, the gentle impact of one
alighting from a wheel)
Tomorrow night, then, If it's
| pleasant .+t.
20, it's bound to be pleasant. The
excitement assures that. Yes. I'll be
around at the usual time"
And here endeth the 'steenth lesson,
with probabilities of 'steen more to fol-
low, while the neighbors listen and
wait and wonder if Emma will ever
reward the patience Of her Charley by
really learning to ride or the forbear-
ance of themselves by changing her
practice ground to some other place.
New York Sun.