Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1898-04-29

Especially when lone will laugh at his
jokes.-lndtanapolis Journal.
Harry, do you love your little baby
brotherT' whats the use? He
wouldn't know it If l didw-Tit-Bits.
An Exceptional Case.-"He's very
hmid, is he not?" Every. Why, he's
so timid that he's scared by wal.
scares!-Puck.
After the Battle.-He-Then I 60
and forever. She-Very well! But
don't call tomorrow evening; for l
sha'n't DE ln.-Life.
1T doesn't do any good to scold the
janitor about our cold rooms" Yes, it
does. l get all warmed up when l talk
10 him."-Chicago News.
She-I like your impudence. l
haven't reached the bargain counter
yet. He-1ou would be a bargain on
any counter.-Harper's Bazaar.
II have just taken my newly grad
uated grandson into business with me-"
How are you getting on with himT'
We'll, seem to please him.'-Life.
Johnny-Is a lingo a man who would
like to make war on all foreigners?
Papa-Yes, my son; and he would pre-
fer to talk the enemy to death.-Puck.
He-Do you know when you get a
bad coin? She-Certainly l do. How
do you know" why, the man l Of
fer it to refuses to take it."-Yonkers
Statesman.
a Pointed Inquiry.-Stern Father
Henry, have you and your new watch
parted company already? Henry ia
conicallyl-Broke. Father-Which!-
Jewellers Weekly.
Useless Advice.-Wiggles-My physl.
clan has ordered me never TO take ac-
tive exercise after a hearty meal. Wag-
gles-Well, what of it? Wiggles-l
board.-Somerville Journal.
Ethel-Why didn't you attend Prof
Dumps lecture on the Cycles Of
Timer" 1t was very interesting.
Maude-The subject of the lecture was
embarrassing to me. You know, dear.
l bought my wheel OF the installment
plan.-Plttsburg Press.
She-Don't you think Mrs. Wapstey
is a beautiful woman? He-She is a
beautiful woman-the most beautiful
woman, l think, that | have ever seen.
G1,n Ia f+n,. n, hoe nnnnl-I u-nnlnt. If hn
has always been such a fool, or wheth-
er it has just begun to grow on him
lately.-Cleveland Leader.
Chollie-NIaud has to wear glasses;
the oculist says she has been using her
eyes too much. Charlie-I should say
so. You ought to have seen her at the
dance the other night; she was just
surrounded by men all the time.-Har-
per's Bazaar.
She-Ah. count, you don't know how
my love for you distresses my parents.
| heard my father say this morning
that he would give $4,000 if could
never see you again. The Countries
your fazaire in hees Offices now. vou
sink ?-Chicago News.
Little Tompkins-That fellow Brown
tried TO stuff me up with some of MS
travellers tales the other day. Talked
about his trip to Italy, and the waving
fields of macaroni, but he didn't catch
ne. YOU know. They don't wave.--
Punch.
Parson-Ah, my friend, run brought
YOU here, of course. l, too, used to
drink, but for ten years not a drop of
liquor has passed my lips Convict
-'Scuse me, pard, but don't want to
hear no hard-luck story now. I've got
troubles of me own.-Life.
Anxious Mother-I think you should
interfere, Edward. There is young
Stumps sitting for the last half-hour
with Mabel, holding her hand. You
know that he's not in a position to mar
nv. Father CcomplacentlyJ-True; but
LET him hold her hand. Martha; 1t will
keep her from the piano!-EXchange,
Restful Rogers ringing suburban
ties door-bell at / a. m.)-'Scuse me
pard-but me and Weary Willy and
Dusty Rhodes and Frosty Fagin IS
a-tryin' ter sleep out in your barn
and wouldn't yer be kind enough ter
chloroform dat kid, oil put him under a
tph or do suthin' to i'm ter make I'M
stop yellin' so Internal l~oud?-Puck.
Mrs Smilax-Henry, | really believe
Freddy is going to be a doctor whe lie
grows up. l heard him tell Mary that
she must be careful of her health ana
that pie was considered hurtful' Mr.
Smilax-It looks to me as though ne IS
more likely to become a lawyer, | no
ticed that he had two pieces OF pie at
upper last evening.-Boston iran
script. .,
The lecturer on health had finished
$500 IL go - 81