The San Francisco call., 1898-12-12

fore the Secretary, who, froWnlhs pIo- tentously. made great ado. Sirrah' thundered the Secretary do l under stand that just before sinking the neet of the enemy you indulged in language gross and reprehensible?" oIt i'll becomes me-" replied the officer, whose arm was in splints, and Who umped, !" to know what may be in your august mind, but the probability that I cussed like hell just before those blankety- blank Spanish jumped over board is passing strong.
 Enough. sir" rejoined the Secretary. T wish to establish chair of pic turesQue and effective profanity. Therefore have I sent for you" Once upon a time great nation saw it to send soldiers to distant land. Reaching their destination the soldiers easily accomplished the subjugation of the ignorant, and then proceeded to loot their temples. When approached for having snatched altar cloths and images of great antiquity, the soldiers had 8 ready defense. 'Is it not meet" they said, that idolatry be rebuAed? Also this truck is worth money st | q lllkSlOp- SkI64SANMaS SOi4NCSS4SA was made that cilivization was 8 great thing.
 Smitten of love for Danasel whose heart was not touched thereby, Silly Swain sought a Wise Man and begged guidance. T have in mind" began the Silly Swain. 'fto slay the Damsel and thereafter to blow out my own brains. Is this course the one to be commended by you. who have gaTnered the philoso- phy of years?'
 Know. O foolish youth responded the Wise Man gravely, shifting a ouid, that you i'll perceive the duty of the hour. Harm not the girl, for beshrew me if think her not a Daisy and en- titled to a need of praise. AS for the rest of the plan find with 1t no fault " 1 Then went the Swain about his at- fairs, nor attempted injury to himself, inasmuch as he knew from the first that he had no brains to blow.
 
 l Having shot her husband 6 young wife was solicited to reveal her motive. l Naturally resenting the iTnpeTtinence she turned upon the ouestioner. T perceive" she said, with fine scorn, that you are one of the narrow mind ed who would withhold from my tin1id and aown-trodden sex the rights be- l longing to it Pray, whose husband would you have had me slay? Besides, ] you may observe that am fair to look upon and built for touching the hearts of jurynaen- Avaunt, Dullard. I would practice 6 courtroom weep"
 
 1 After having annexed al the money he could lay active fingers upon, an off1ceholder essayed to seek distant parts, For, he reasoned with himself, 1 the graft is played out" So he went his way. But the selfish who had 1 been robbed of him made gr9evou> moan, so that 8 sleuth estopped his i flight and brought him back, even tc the place of his starting. There was l he met by throngs who extended glad hands and bade him be of good cheer, | for be it known that in the times of i this occurrence a thief was not with 1 out honor save when he sought to evade 1 dividing the spoil. Yet was the offlce- holder not glad, and held himself aloof 1 as he were a man of sorrows. So they 1 pressed upon him for an explanation. l "Verily, your friendship is sweet" he said with sadness, and yet you must admit failure to meet me at the ferry with band playing See. the Conquer 1 ing Hero Comes. And they, having no defense departed thence downcast l Visiting the East San Franciscan was asked much concerning the far Western land of his abode. "Ts 1t true, p asked one, that the roboer bands 1 which once ranged the primeval hills of the Pacific Slope have been sahjo- gated9"
 ! Alas said the San Franciscan. who | labored under the disadvantage of be- l ing an honest man, while it is true l that the country has been pgrged Of it's erigands, in the city we must confess to having the Board of Education l His knees trembling as with & great l dread, Politician knocked at the soar~ tai where St. Peter holds sway.
 What would yous" was asked os him.
 Of a truth I would anter," he an, swered.
 Not in accordance with any rnls such as governs aere. T, is tradition and law that liars come not past the door"
 Astounded and pessur'aea the Pm. tician sought 10 laarn wnaf4la Aa has wrought the wrong which had aroussg this evil.
 You belonged so the ~rasqiaans :, returned the Guardian. s'tso 10"
 Alas" wesi tha Politician. s4s4nfns away as the aeor changed, not only arr l shut out, bnt there has been snaass,s upon me missing word ps.sle. fshfs is roo much"
 It SD hefeu thai a Senator was 4a hs chosen, and the leaders ar 4la aasafs,ss., faolioA. seeking an aafsar aa4a ,saea him; To we would have as sssns ss,e s'tssas man and good 1 4as aIisaf bowed hf4a fA aha ssAs,s.A and Wi.h hlaaAiHs eifliaaaaa s.aysa 'ass swei@ am fae" Therefore sl,a 4,,S, ats'ss,faola. aaalHiAs him fa 4l.fnl s9,as the sanafa'alaip was Tar Assa, w s,as,s..s { aaa already heeA Appat4sanea sa an othslT " -" ''NsFisSn aaaa the editor 10 assass,s