The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1898-12-29

at looks as though Senator Quay is
a rascal who is unfit to sit in the high
est legislative body in the land" says
the Washington Times; but it does not
what particular kinds of ras
cality fit man for seat there.
Xxx
It often takes the sworn testimony
of half dozen saints to prove mans
good character, while the cheerful per
jury of one liar may be sufficient to
send him to the penitentiary.
Xxx
1t is said that some members of Con
gress object to passing vote of thanks
to Miss Helen Gould, because it carries
with it the privilege of appearing on
the floor of the house. l don't see
why the members should imagine THAI
Miss Gould would be likely to appeal
on the floor of Congress. She has
hitherto had an unblemished reputa
ton, and has been keeping respectable
company, as far as her family cOnnec-
tons have made it possible.
"A man in Omaha, named BrixiS has
confessed that he perjured himself in
order to convict his employer of the
crime OF arson. Brixis was formerly
policeman. He probably became n
slave to the perjury habit while in THAI
business.
~
Count Esterhazy, who is said to be
coming to the United States, says he ia
going to defend his honor; but the
United States is figuring on how to de
fend itself against his honor.
~
A Missouri druggist advertises a
cline line Of shotguns." They probably
use them for the introduction of qu;-
nine cartridges" into the system.
Xxx
An Irishman at McCOok, Neb., who
went out to celebrate the other night
returned at III in the morning only to
find that his family had also been in
creased by III in the meantime. He
looked at the clock and then at the
kids and remarked: "Its, quare CO.
incidence. Howiver, Ohm damd glad
Oh didn't return at XII
Xxx
The Chicago city council is going to
close it's meetings with prayer aftet
this. They have been opening ana
conducting them with pre- ying.
*
One of our Minnesota exchanges az.
nounces that the editor will take wheat
on subscription o, those editors
Think what happened TOD oe Letter i1e ;
trying to corner the wheat market
But, as | said, editors are reckless
lot.
*
When Gen. Wood gets through with
his job as major in chief of Santiago he
can come back to the United Statea
and exhibit himself in the museums as
"the Mayor who did"
XXX
A man named Kite has started
paper at Aguilar, Col. infer FROM
his name that he is from Minneapolis
Probably some ex.banker.
**#
Inquirer wants to know what B. ID.
stands for after a mans name. If he
plays in band, it means Bass Drum
mer, otherwise it probably means
Bachelor of Divinity.
*
A Western editor invited the neigh
borhood to public rabbit hunt with
the encouraging assurance that rabbits
were as plentiful as delinquent snb-
scribers in Heligoland.
Gov. Black of New York, pardonea
cOnvicts as an acknowledge
ment of his belief in the old greeting
"Good will toward men," Almost ali
of the states in the union showed
similar appreciation of the anniversary
of the birth of the Redeemer of men.
In Minnesota, however, most people
went to church as usual, and studied
the revised version.
A French scientist has discovered
that the earth has twelve different mo-
tons. Gosh, what a headache he must
have had the next day.
Xxx
Some of the newspaper boys are
jumping on Hobson because he kissed