The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1898-10-08
ABAKER'S DOZEN
By William Walter Cook.

IT HAD long been pet theory of
mine that if n traveller could get
out of that mysterious country from
whose bourne he is supposed never to
return, and could come back in the
flesh and circulate among his friends
as in life, he would experience great
many surprises, more or less apper-
tanning TO him and to his affairs.
little thought it would ever come
within my experience 10 test this novel
theory, but it so happened, and the at
tendant results were simply appalling.
Being blessed with an extremely
large fortune, / was able to ride a
number of very expensive hobbies,
among them that of mountain climb
ing. l was passionately fond of this
dangerous sport and would endure
hardships innumerablc in order that
might indulge in it..
Beginning with Mt. Blanc, I had
worked my way up to the Jungfrau
and the Matterhorn, and it was during
the latter climb that couple of
guides and myself dropped over a
precipice and were supposedly lost.
Consciousness left me at the time of
the accident. / had sustained injuries
so severe that my mind was affected
for weeks, and when ut last I awoke
to realization that l still lived
found myself in little Swiss chalet
and experienced the unique sensation
of reading full account of my death
in Paris newspaper.
1t was a grim joke, but decided to
enter actively into the spirit of it. In
a few days l departed, incog, for
France, and shortly afterward took
ship for America.
Somewhat in doubt as to how the
extensive fortune of supposedly de-
ceased bachelor might fare, L resolved
to acquaint my solicitors with the fact
that l had not, as was commonly be-
ieved, gone over to the great majority,
and so head OFF any premeditated at
tack on my heaped up dollars.
Messrs. Tort and Trapleigh were
greatly amazed, of course, and when
their astonishment had worn off q
little l noticed coolness-not very
pronounced, indeed, but thoroughly
patent to my sensitive self-in their
treatment of me. 1 was nonplussed
for the moment, but my wonder was
soon set at rest by Mr.. Tort, who con
Quoted me to private room and then
put the astounding question::
"NIr. Baker, are you related in any
way to brigham Young?"
"Related to Brigham Ioung" /
gasped. "Mr. Tort, you're crazy!"
AT least you're Mormon? Please
assure me that you're Mormon, and
that you did il purely out of religious
conviction and nothing else"
ibid what?" asked in n bewildered
way.
as it possible you don't know that
you have been married 10 times, and
that bakers dozen of women are
wearing mourning for you this blessed
minute, and have each filed individual
claims for your large estate?"
Observation-Disclosures? 1 echoed.
Exactly; and each one of these
widows seems to have proven q clear
case against YOU"
laughed loudly and reached for my
hat.
"Where are you going?" asked Tort.
"Pm going back to the Matterhorn
and fall over another cliff" replied;
"better death in some foreign land
than annihillation ut the hands of 13
widows. finland me, Tort"
"Be, quiet, then" warned the solic-
ttor. "Sit down. Be q man. Re-
member you cannot possibly be hus-
band to all of them. Well weed 'em
out. If we succeed in narrowing them
down to one, you can placate her by"
Never! Give me liberty, Tort, or
give me death. Those are my ,senti-
ments."
"Hush, not so loud! There's one of
chem Just come into the outer Office.
They drift in all day long, by ones and
twos. We keep clerk specially to at
tend to them. Would you like to talk
With this one? She is No. 0. Shall l
aend her IMP"
EYES," I returned, desperately; II
would like to have her give me some
information. Send her in"
And in she came. 1t was Miss de
Smet, fat, fair and forty. knew her
we'll. She gave n scream when she
saw me, and began to flutter her
hands.
"Don't faint" I requested, in voice
Of forced calmness. eve are old
friends, Miss de Smet, but / had no
idea that we had entered the holy
bonds Of matrimony. cannot recol-
lect ever having married you. Still,
may have done so in a moment of tenn
porary alteration. Will you please
state where 1t was, and when, and why
you have struggled along all these
years as Miss de Smet rather than a.
Mr.. Baker.c