davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-04-21

pected until they are far
advanced.
So-called !" wandering
pains''may come from it's
early stages, or the pres
ence 1of danger may be
made manifest by ex-
cessive menstruation ac-
:companied by unusual
pain extending from the
ovaries down the groin
and thighs.
+ 1fyouhave mysterious
pains, if there are indica-
tons of inflammation or
displacement, don't wait
for time to confirm your
fears and go through
the horrors of a hospital
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-04-21

The biggest blaze is not sign of the most
heat. A straw-pile will give a brighter
blaze than ton of coal-Ram's Horn
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-04-21

The upper ten is composed of the win.
ming nine and the umpire.-Chicago News
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-04-21
Just the Other way.

Adonis There's one thing / couldnst
stand, and that's q wife who would DO
eternally putting her hair up in CURL
papers. Nh "
$ Matronly Friend Have no fear, Mr..
Adonis. Girls don't 60 to any such
trouble after they get married.-N. Y.
Weekly. 4. f. .@s .z IS. ss. p. =. \.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-04-21

Almost anybody can own horse and
buggy Washington Democrat
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-04-21
No Let.UD.,

"What's your son going to do now
that he failed to pass civil service ex-
| animation"
Hell continue right along in his
work as college professor. '-Detroit
Free Press.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-04-21

None noticed her mid the procession;
But she fell with thud in the slippery mud,
And there she made quite an impression.
L. A. w. Bulletin.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-04-21

Never take a. girls Judgment of beauty.
-Atchison Globe
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-04-21

Self-love is not so great sin as self-for-
gctting.-N. Y. Weekly.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-04-21
5wtllinx. to Help Him.

II told him / was looking for work. .
I And what did he say %? %. .s 3..:5fa
He offered to loan me q pair Of spec
Eaolss - Chicago Post.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-04-21

the Lydia Vegetable Compound is
the fwoman's dread Fibroid Tumor.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-04-21
Wouldn't Let Them,

Mistress-Didn'tt ladies who called
leave cards?
Bridget-They wanted to, ma'am, but
I told them you had plenty of your
own, and better, too.-N. Y. Truth.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-04-21

The gradual change in the day and
the month now taking place proceeds
continuously until the duration of ro-
tation of the earth is prolonged to IS
of our present days. At the same time
the month, or the time of revolution of
the moon round the earth, will also &C.
cupy IS of our days. Since the month
here means the period of the return of
the moon to the same place amongst
the stars, and since the day is to be esti-
mated the same way, the moon must
then always face the same part of the
earth's surface, and tho two bodies
must move as though they were fast
ened together by Il bar. The outcome
of the lunar tidal friction will accord
ingly be that the moon and the earth
will go round as though locked together
in a period of IS of our present days,
with day and month identical in length.
Prof. George Fl. Darwin, in Atlantic.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-04-21
Didn't Wait tn Re Invited.

""le 20 DC
II hope you asked the count to make
himself perfectly at home with us while
visiting in this country"
NO.. r. I.%..
"No! Why, not2"
1T wasn't necessary Chicago Post.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-04-21

There daWns ray Of hope.
A Philadelphia anarchist
Has gone to making soap.
Chicago Tribune.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-04-21
Fair Cyclists this hill at all danger.

Fair Cyclist- this hill at all danger
Gus, my lad?
Intelligent Youth doan't know,
mum. P'r'aps it be, an p'r'aps it baint'
but when ye gets to tn bottom, my
fayther's there-just ye ak him, he'll
tell We in a moment, mum, aye, that he
will!-London Sketch.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-04-21
How. Indeed.

Miss Pinkney-If we lived in Russia
and you were the car what would you
do first? te"@<s =. ..-
MIR. BrightleyI would make you my
czarina.
Miss Pinkney-Oh, Alfred, how did
you know wouldn't get angry if you
said that?-Chicago Daily News.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-04-21
FIBROID TUMOR CONQUERED.

Expelled State
A. Lombard. 80 -
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-04-21
Police a. shark Catchers.

Among the multifarious duties which
demand the attention of the Calcutta
police the capture OF sharks in the.
Hooghly finds place. During the past
20 years rewards have been paid for
the destruction of these marine man
eaters, and recently the Bengal govern
ment laid down scale for these pay
rnents.-N. Y. Sun. sa %@Sssf 5$S e
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-04-21
1t Was ON the Lev,

First Tramp lin hayloft, looking
through crack in barn Holy smoked
Eddie, de snow is tree feet deep.
Second Tramp (horrified) On dc
levels it Up-to- Date,
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-04-21

The more work man has, the more other
people want him to do theirs.-Washingto
Democrat.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1898-12-03
FIGHT NOW ON
Managers of the Panama Canal
Enterprise Have Arrived in
Washington
Presumably for the Purpose Of
Opposing Nicaragua Canal
Legislation.
Had a Two Hour Conference
With Secretary of State
Hay.
Central American Republic Re
Gently Formed Has Ceased
to Exist.

WASHINGTON, Dec. 2.-The managers
OF the Panama canal enterprise; who ar
ri, d in Washington Wednesday even
ing, have taken steps to lay the business
with which they are charged before the
secretary of state Apparently some
arrangements had been made in the ma
ture of an appointment, for Aotwith
standing the fact that it was diplomatic
day, Secretary Hay gave neerly two
hours Of his time to listening to the rep
reservations of the Panama people.
These We're Maurice Hulin, director
general Of the Panama canal; Xavier
Bayard, commercial representative of
the company, both of Paris, and Will
lam Nelson Cromwell of New York,
counsel for the company. The conference
was interrupted at intervals by the calls
of the, Russian am bassador, the French
charge d'affaires; the Italian charge, the
Venezuelan charge and other members
Of the diplomatic body. These inter
<ruptions We're not of much duration, as
the secretary. devoted only a small por-
ton of his time to diplomatic. callers,
which might be construed as sign of
his interest in the representations Of the
canal people. The latter carried charts
and mass of documentary matter, pre-
sumably exhibiting the amount of work
accomplished so far on the canal con
tract At the conclusion of the confer
ence the canal men declined to make
any statement. as to what had taken
place, but the common understanding is
that they are here in a. general way to
.antagonize. all of the Nicaragua pros
poets. They will be in Washington for
several days, according to. their own
statements.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1898-12-03
The Poor Mother-in-law.

Mother law stories are drug on
the market, but this one seems to be
little less druggy than usual.
A man and his wife went to Europe,
and the mans mother-in-law went
along. Up to this point there is no nov
city in the story.
On the voyage the mother-in- law fell
i'll and died. Of course, she had to be
buried at sea, and so the usual canvas
sack was made, but instead of an iron
weight to sink the body they used a
bag of coal.
In commenting on the arrangements
afterward the, be1eaved son in-law, who
suffered badly, said:
ell always knew where MN m
mother in law was g-going, but BIB
blame me if s-s-supposed she'd have
ito carry her own f-f-fuel "-Cleve-
land Plain Dealer.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1898-12-03
B0MBAsTIC IN TONE.
Filipino Newspapers at Manila Say Insur.
gents Will Not submit


gents Will Not submit.
MANILA Dec 2.-The independent
party Of the Filipinos is not disposed to
accept the result Of the deliberations OF
the peace. commissioners at Paris, judg-
ing from the tone of the native press.
The Independence publishes par
ticularly bombastic article to the
effect that the Filipinos will de-
cline to permit their homes to
be bought and sold like merchandise.
1t then repeats that the Filipinos are
ready to fight in defense Of their rights.
and says that the people are claiming
nothing less than independence. The
paper also claims that the Filipinos
have incontestible claims upon the
island Of Luzon, part Of the Visayas
islands and the island of Mindanao, by
right of conquest. 1t comedies that the
Americans helped the insurgents Sin
directly by blockading Manila" But,
The Independence claims that, even
without help, the revolutionists must
have ultimately won.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1898-12-03
TILTING THE EARTH.
A Matter Of Scientific Interest, If Not Of
Practical Value.

kEaCblCNA alQGs
M. Fouche, the vice president of the
French Astronomical society, has in.
vented way of altering the present in,
clination of the earth axis to thC
eoliptic. What he wants to do il for il
not very clear. Perhaps, however he
doesn want to do it and merely puts
forward his method as one possessing
purely academic interest. At all events
it is worthy Of the attention of com
pany promoters,
All that has to be done, as described
by Invention, is to dig an enormous cir
cular ditch, say, in Africa or South
America tits center must be ON the
equator) and to FIJI it with sea water
Fresh water viii do if you can get
enough of it, but as the radius of the
ditch is to be few hundred miles that
is hardly likely Having got your ditch
full of sea water, nothing remains but
to make it race round and round III the
trench, whereupon the earth S axis will
begin to point toward different quarters
of the heavens from those it indicates
at present, The amount of deviation
will depend on the radius of the ditch,
the amount Of water it holds, the speed
at which the latter moves and the time
during which the motion is kept up
We may suggest to M. Fouche that
when sufficient sphere of French in
f1uence has been secured in Africa he
might have trench dug and then by
its use get all the ice melted round each
of the present poles. French explorers
could then discover them, whereupon
the action of the trench would be stop.
ped and the present climatic conditions
restored France could then remain as
long as she wished the only nation to
have reached the celebrated points on
the earth S surface AS the digging of
the ditch will be very expensive we
make no charge for this suggestion. =
Invention
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1898-12-03
WITHIN A WEEK.
Rapid Progress Being Made With the
Treaty by the Peace Commissions.

Rapid Progress Being Made With the
Treaty by the Peace Commissions.
PARIS. Dec 2.-The peace commits
sions did not hold joint session owing
to the fact that it was aseertained at z
.. M. that that the preliminary clerical
work was not completed. 1t was there
fore agreed by the presidents to defer
the next meeting for a day. Notwith-
standing this delay the work Of the
commissions is proceeding rapidly and
unless there is an unexpected hitch, the
treaty will be signed within week.
The Joint session reassembled at 3 D. m.
General Wesley Merritt, who arrived
here Wednesday from London, leaving
his wife convalescent there, was in con
sultation with the American commission
all the morning, relative to the condi-
tons and necessary measures in the
Philippine islands.
General Merritt expects to sail for
New York on Dec. 10, and hopes to re-
sumo his duties in California or New
York until his retirement, IS months
hence.
Major Hale of General Merritt's staff,
who is now here, believes the United
States, having taken the Philippines.
will now have no trouble in securing
the release Of the Spaniards who are
held prisoners by Aguinaldo.
The treaty embraces 10 articles, COW
ering 10 subjects as follows:
First The REIMBURSEMENT of sover-
eighty over and claim of / e to Cuba.
Second-The cession Il Porto Rico
and other Spanish possessions in the
West Indies, together with Guam, in
the Ladrones.
Third-The cession Of the Philippines.
Fourth-The terms of the evacuation
Of the Philippines.
Fifth-The pledge Of the United States
to preserve order in the Philippines
pending the ratification of the treaty
Sixth-The release of military prison
ers mutually.
An Island in the Carolines.
Seventh The cession by Spain of the
island of Kusae or Strong island, in the
Carolines.
Eighth-The religious freedom of the
Carolines, assuring the rights of Amer
lean missionaries there.
Tenth-Cable landing rights at points
within the Spanish jurisdiction.
Eleventh-The release by Spain of
political prisoners for offenses in Cuba
and the Philippines.
Twelfth-The pledge of the Uniteo
States to inaugurate in the Philippines
an ''open door, policy and to guarantee
the same to Spain for at least 10 years.
Thirteenth-A revival of the treaties
broken by the war.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1898-12-03
Children as Grammarians.

Two little tots of 4 and 5 years re-
spectively, living out of town, were
anxiously awaiting the arrival Of a ia
vorite uncle from whom they were ex-
pecting visit. The train came in, but
no guest appeared, to the bitter disap-
pointment of the little ones They ran
to their mother for consolation, the
younger one saying:
Mamma, don't you think Uncle
Ned oughter Gomez"
"You mustn't say oughter; say
shooder, put in the 5-year-old, with
all the dignity that such a correction
would imply. New York Tribune
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1898-12-03
WILL FIGHT us
Information by Way of Madrid
Philippine Insurgents viii
Not Submit
Nor Recognize the Cession Of the
Islands to the United
States.
Also Claimed 1t Will Require
Seventy Thousand Troops to
Subdue Them.
Filipino Newspapers at Manila
Assume a Very Bombastic
Tone.

MADRID, Dec. 2.--Advices from the
Philippine islands say the insurgents
there have decided not to recognize the
cession of the islands to the United
States, and that they will resist to the
last. 1t is claimed that the United
States will require 10000 troops to put
down the rebellion, and it is alleged
that the insurgents hold 1000 Spanish
prisoners whom they will force to serve
against the Americans.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1898-12-03
A ToUcHY OLD COMMODORE.
Insisted on Running His Own Man-of-war
Even on Sundays.

Insisted on Running His Own Man-of-war
Even Sundays.
A story is told of an old commodore
at the Boston yard whose method of
measuring religious affairs was with
the same memorable rule used for tenn
poral things. One Sunday morning he
was aroused from his nap by something
out of the usual routine being announc-
ed from the pulpit, and he steTnIy adj
dressed the chaplain with: whats
that? What that?' The chaplain de-
murely repeated the notice that 'by or
der of the bishop Of the diocese divine
service will be performed in this chapel
on Thursday evening next, etc
By whose order?"
By order of the bishop of the dio,
cese, sir. .
"Well, Numbered the commodore,
"I'll let you know that | am bishop of
this diocese, and when I want service
in this chapel I'll let you know Pipe
down, . and he cleared the chapel
On one occasion he heard a different
voice in the pulpit from usual, and,
looking up, he asked: Who is that up
there? Is that you, Billy McMasters?"
Yes, sir =
BILLY was religious foreman in the
yard who sometimes helped the chap
lain along.)
Come down out of that, Numbered
the commodore when l want arelief
for the chaplain, I'll appoint one. Don't
you ever let me catch you up there
again. and he cleared the chapel
again -''On Man-of War. .
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1898-12-03
COMMISSION IN WASHINGTON.
General Garcia and His Associates After
Money For the Soldiers.

Money For the Soldiers.
WAsHINGToN, Dec. 2.-The members
of the commiss on delegated to visit the
United States to discuss with members
Of this government the many problems
which confront both Cubans and Amer
leans on the island. reached Washing
ton from New York during the day.
The commission was met at the station
by Senior Gonzales de Quesada and
Senior Cassona and went direct to no.
tel, where apartments had been re-
served for them 1t is the expectancy
Of General Garcia and the other com
missioners to remain in Washington
about 10 days. IN general sense it s
the object Of the commission to discuss
with the officials at Washington
All Questions Relating to Cuba
and it's inhabitants. One of the prin-
cipal questions will be that relating to
the disposition of the Cuban army.
In the course of an interview General
Garcia SAID it would be a hardship for
the Cuban army to disband at this time
without receiving pay for its services in
the field The soldiers hope some
method may be provided whereby they
may be given sufficient means to gain
new start in life. General Garcia has
no suggestion to make as to the method
Of providing these means, but. expresses
the hope of obtaining, through the as
sistance of this country, sufficient
amount partly to reimburse the Cubans
for their services in the field This sum
may be advanced on the security of the
Cuban revenues or obtained in any
other way that might be satisfactory to
This country.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1898-12-03
WAS SHORT LIVED.
Attempt to Form Central American Re-
public Fails Completely.

MANAGUA, Nicaragua. Dec. 2-The
attempt to effect a.coalition between. the
states of Nicaragua. Honduras and Sal
vador, to be conducted under a common
administration and known as the United
States of Central America. has failed
completely. The federal organizers
have formally declared the union dis
solved, the three states resuming re-
spectiyely absolute sovereignty.
The collapse is due to the failure of
the troops of Honduras, acting in behalf
of the federal organizers, to suppress
the outbreak in Salvador against the
proposed federation and to force Saliva
dor into the union.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1898-12-03
Colony For Liberia.

WICHITA Kan, Dec. "A colony of
is negroes has left Oklahoma City for
Liberia. It is headed by an intelligent
farmer named Appleberry, who recently
sold his farm on Fork Creek for $4,000.
All have some money.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1898-12-03
An Ola English Firm.

For more than 800 years drapery
business has been carried on in the same
building at Sheffield, under the title of
the Sign of the Crowne, and since 1850
the business has been conducted by one
family
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1898-12-03
want ,Telegraphic Consular Reports.

FRESNO, Cal, Dec. 2. The California
Fruit Growers convention has referred
TO special committee a resolution pet1-
tioning the secretary of agriculture to
furnish to the people of the United
States who are engaged in farming and
fruit raising, consular telegraphic re-
ports q. all foreign competing crops.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1898-12-03
Nebraska Normal Burned.

LINCOLN. Neb., Dec. 2--Fire de-
Btroyed the main building of the Lin
coin Normal university. three miles
from the city. It was 4-story brick
and stone structure. Loss 500, 900: in
rurance S25 600.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1898-12-03
oficially Reported to Washington.

WASHINGTON, Dec. minister Merry
has reported to the state department
that the government of Costa RIGA has
received official notice of the dissolution
of the United States of Central America.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1898-12-03
Active SOLICITORS wANTEI

ACTIVE SOLICITORS WANTED
EVERYWHERE for THE Story of the
Philippines" by Murat Halstead, commits
stoned by the Government as Official
Historian TO he War Department. The
book was written in army camps al San
Francisco, on the Pacific with General
Merritt in the hospitals at Honolulu, in
Hong Kong, ia the American trenches at
Manila in the insurGent camps with
Agunaldo, on the deck of the Olympia
with Dewey, and in the roar of battle at
the fall of Manila. Bonanza for agents.
Brinlful of original pictures taken by gov
eminent photographers on the spot.
Large book. Low prices. Big profits.
Freight paid. Credit given. Drop all
trashy unoffidial war books. Outfit free,
Address. F. T. Barber, Sec'y., Star Insurz
anCe Bldg, Chicago. 45t16
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1898-12-03
Ar English Joke,

Mother-Why don't you play with
that American boy?
Boyle tells stories.
Mother-He does?
Boy-Yes. He came from New York,
and he says he never saw an Indian or a
buffalo. London Sun.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1898-12-03
Skin Diseases.

For the speedy and permanent cure of
letter, salt rheum and eczema, Cham
berlain's Eye and Skin Ointment is
without an equal It relieves the itch.
ing and smarting almost instantly and
its continued use effects a permanent
cure. 1t also cures itch, BARRIERS itch,
scald head, sore nipples, itching piles,
chappeed hands, chronic sore eyes and
granulated lids.
DR.. Cady's Condition Powders for
horses are the best tonic, blood purifier
andvermifuge. Price, 25cents. Soldby
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1898-12-03

In fasting feats the sect of Jains in
India, is far ahead of all rivals. Fasts
of from 30 to 40 days are not uncom-
mon
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1898-12-03

Fifty years ago Austria had seven
cities with more than 20, 900 inhabi-
tants. Today there are 80.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1898-12-03

Profanity is forbidden by both the
army and the navy regulations of the
United States
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1898-12-03
Anti-Venom serum.

WASHINGTON, Dec. Consul Skinner
at Marseilles reports that Dr. Calmette
Of the Pasteur institute at Lille, has dis
covered an anti-venomous serum, by
means Of which the poisoning from
snake bites can always be checked and
death prevented, if the serum be in
sected within four hours after the per-
son has been bitten
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1898-10-09

ture field. I've get a feeling that l
could entertain an audience and make
5000 week for myself, but there is the
bar again. / go to the manager Of a
lecture bureau and ask for an eng age-
ment. and he leans back and laughs.
Then he wants to know whether pro-
pose to stand on stills or take seat
On the top of a step-ladder while de-
livering my remarks. If l get on my
dignity it reminds me of chicken
bristling up to a straw-stack, and If |
seek to arouse his sympathy he pats
me on the head and calls me bub.
Are you looking down on me and lis
teIing from up there"
Its tuff-tuff,' replied the other.
Il never had any idea that sawed-off
man met up with such sorrows.''
Probably not. The tall world goes
skating along with never thought Of
the short. a year or SO ago ! turned