davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1898-09-02
SnnlpIe Tcsti1nnninIa

We append few testimonials which
may be Of bepeflt to proprictors OF pat
ent medicines:
I have been unable to walk without
crutches for many years, but after us.
ing your liniment I ran for office"
/ lost my eyesight four years ago.
used bottle of your eye wash and I
saw wood"
II have been dumb ever since was
married, but the day after using your
remedy had speaking likeness ia
ken at the photographers"
Some time ago lost the use of
both arms. Shortly after buying a box
OF your pills ! struck man for ten
dollars"
nave been deaf for many years,
W.. al.er using your ointment 1 heard
mat my aunt had died and left mo
$4,000" me
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1898-09-02
8ASHFUL.
nurnl Legislator Gets I'm Remarks.
E.Ncn II UncnIIcd For

Even II UncnlIcd For.
- mt help saying to YOU" remark
ed &C of the old members of n more
or less august legislative body to a
rural recruit, that some of the re-
marks you made yesterday were I'm.
called for. entirely uncalled for"
The other looked intently at his col
league and, removing his hat, mopped
his brow with a red handkerchief.
"Looky here. friend" lie proceeded
after thinking for quarter of a min
ute, do you realize that am on the
minority side of this here house?"
Yes"
and that the place is chock full of
people who are full up to the necks
with speeches they want to git de-
livered?"
There are many such
It's occurred to you, mebbe, that
there is dimit to the time that q man
has in this life fur ioin' things"
THAT hasn't anything to do with
your remarks yesterday"
Eyes, it has. You find fault with 'em
because they was uncalled fur. But l
want TO tell you somethin,' IF l had
started out in politics as a shrinkin',
modest violet l wouldn't even have got
a nomination. An with all them peo-
pie, with both hands in the air, try
in to git word in edgewise, can't
afford to take no chances. know
them remarks was uncalled fur, but l
leave it to you us a fair minded man,
If l held onto remarks till some of
you fellers got NJ and clamored for
'em, what would my constituents think
had become of me-
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1898-09-02

A well-known London theatrical
manager tells 4 good story at the ex-
pense of local tkcater whose Stand
ing Room Only" sign is no longer need
ed.
One night, after the curtain was rung
up, small boy was discovered sob
bling in front of the box Office. The
manager of the theater went to the lad
and kindly asked him what the trouble
was.
Il want my money back!" sobbed
the boy.
In surprise the manager asked his
reason fof such request
"Because-because I'm afraid to sit
up in the gallery all alone!" lie walled.
His money was returned.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1898-09-02
Popular Liternrx Girl.

For literary girl Miss Plum seems
very popular"
Yes. It's her method. She invites
young man to the house to read over
her latest sonnet. When she comes to
a word Hike miss for instance, she
asks him if he can improve the rhyme.
II he has any brightness at all he will
suggest kiss and at the same time
illustrate it. If the word is tease he
VIII suggest squeeze and illustrate
that. Oh. it's no wonder she's pom
ular poetess"
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1898-09-02

tiImdigcstion is often taken for consumd
on. The word consumption means
wasting away, and di>peptics often waste
away as badly rs consumptives.
The reason people wuSte away is be
cause either they don't get enough to eat.
or they don't digest what they do eat.
II the latter is your trouble take Shaker
Digestive Cordial This will help you
To digest your fnod and stop YOUR loss of
flesh. Shaker Digestive Cordial is made
from hen s barks amp, he juices of fruits.
by the wcll.kn0wn Shakers at Mount
Lebanon. III possesses great tonic and
digestive powers
Shaker Digestive Cordial has cured
many supposed consumptives (who were
really dispcptcs), by simply helding
heir stomachs to digest their food, thus
Living them nourishmcnt and new
Strength. Sold by druggists Trial bot
< { 10 cents.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1898-09-02

Our ncighhor of the Tazcwcll
Republican, REQUIRED last week TO
what Is known to the profession
as an "oilicc letter" the it was
anent Walkers cock and bull story
about the sold Confcdcrates ;,
When cause is so rotten, as to
demand the help of such malig.
nant Islander as this it should be
put on the ice, and retired from
the public gaze-and-Snel.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1898-09-02
Judge Rhea in Burke s Garden.

Judge Rhca spoke IN Burke's
Garden last Wednesday. He had
a good crowd Of the best people
of that splendid community.
Mayor Doak went over and
brought the Judge TO Tazcwell the
same afternoon, and lie went next
day to Buchanan and other west
ern district points where he has
appointments to speak.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1898-09-02
RHEA AT BLAND G. H.
He Speaks to a Large Crowd
Refers to a Personal

Bland {. H.. Va. August %. 1898
Editor NEWS, Tazewcll, Va
Hon. ". +. Rl.ca spoke here to-
day to a large and enthusiastic
crowd of people, it being court
day. His speech was well rrcciv.
ed and he made Il very favorable
impression on the people Of the
county of both parties, aud after
discussing fully the issues of the
canvass he referred to personal
that had been circulated in the'dIS
trict by the Republican papers,
and individuals, which is explain
ed below as follows when he said
81 have speech made by Gen
Walker at TaZcwcll G.. ii. on last
Nonday,in which it is said that on
= certain occasion in the city OF
Richmond in contest for thcU.S
Senate, in Legislative body OF
which was not ii member, that
had said when II certain gentle
man had been defeated tha,
"Thank God they have downcd
'tlc old rebel nj last"
This is the statement that Gen.
Walker made in his speech III
TaZcwcll e.. III. do not know
whether he made it upou his own
responsibility or upon the informa-
ton Of others, but however it may
be. | want to dcnounce it as a
cruel and outrageous lie, coming
from whatever source it may. 1t
was started in a paper in my town
by personal enemies of mine and
! paid no attention to it, because
| do not often pay any attention to
Anonymous communications, but
when it comes from the Rcpuh.
lican candidate think 1t deserves
my attention, and if Gen. Walker
made this upon information hope
he will not repeat it, but if hc
does,or whoever rep ats it or from
whatever source it may come. in
this form or any other, il is as
cruel and as infamous n lie as
ever came from human lips.
My father was n Confederate
soldier and died in the service
mar Petersburg lie and his four
brothers left Il widowed mother,
when was bat II child, and went
to the front, as gallant a band Of
brothers as ever left any south.
ern home. My father dicd-two
o. my unclcS were killed ut the
battle of Sharpsburg, and the 9th.
or two, though wounded, followed
Lee 10 Appomattox. They were
DIdNc SoiulcTS ana | nave the con
ISOLATION of knowing that none of
my kith or kin ever petitioned the
President IF the United States for
pardon, or acknowledged that
they were in error in espousing
the cause of secession.
have tried to he fair in dis.
cuSSlng Gen. Walkers public rec.
ord, aud if should at any time
be convinced that | have done
him any injustice, | will certainly
be manly enOOgh to correct it.
| trnst | shall have 10 occasion
to notice this matter again.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1898-09-02
The Old. OLD stnr.

You are the only woman ever
loved" said Adam.
And YOU" murmured Eve, ARE the
first man that ever kissed me-"
Then Satan smiled and said unto
himself: THAT is equal to burnt-cork
repartee, and posterity shall perpetu-
ate It," And it was even so.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1898-09-02
Split UP.

The Republicans of, Campbell
BEDFORD Albemarle and many other
counties and places, are greatly
split up. The hungry, disappoin-
TED pie brigade fasting to get
'no'r capacIous maws filed and
satisfied, are still kicking.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1898-09-02

This" said the Kansas editor look.
ing over the top of his spectacles, "is
the most Inviting manuscript 1 have
received for long time"
What is it?" asked the foreman.
a poem. beginning, Come. drink
with MOI" ~
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1898-09-02
Rlrnl Cemeteries

In Nowhereville, in Limbo Place,
Mid lurid rocking murk,
Two aged Jokes met face to face.
Who died from overwork.
Where rest thy bones, since thou hast
died?"
Each asked him of his brother
In the Almanac" the one replied.
Farce comedy" the other.
Indianapolis Journal.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1898-09-02

Gen.Walker evidently has little
influence with the administration
IN Washington, when it is consid.
cred that he is serving just now
as q Republican. His district got
fewer war appointments probably
Than any other in the country.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1898-09-02
Lost OnnnrfnnitiA.

Hungry Higgihs-Wen, we'll! Hore
is story bout feller eittin' $500 fer
a dog bite.
weary Watlsins-You don't say? list
think of the forching we otto have Al
that rate!
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1898-09-02
netter Than Nothip,r.

Lord Notacent-I cannot tell you
how much love you.
Ethel Giltedge-Oh, make n rough
guess at it then. How much do you
think I'm worth.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1898-09-02

Has another American paper pub
Ilshea caricature of our royal per-
SOM" inquired the Kaiser.
YES, Your Majesty" replied the dig
nifled lackey.
"'Tis WELL" replied His Majesty
we VIII exclude the American baked
beam"
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1898-09-02

The Lebanon News has sold IFS
third page to the Republicans of
Russell County for the campaign.
This is exactly what Charles Slack
did in 1896. Look ont Bro. Ban.
sell for the Slack trap.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1898-09-02
To The Pubjjc.

hereby give notice to the pub.
nc That l will not be responsible
Tor any debts or obligations
contracted in my name, by nv
wife Mollie M. Cline, or apers she
may sign in my name.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1898-09-02

Planters c U BAN OIL cures
v Cuts, Burns, Bruises, Rheu-
matism and Sores. Price. 25 conts
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1898-09-02

Nolan-Begory, tn wars commenced
an We're ordered T. Cooncy Islandl
Casey-Cooney Island! Fwhat for?
''Shure, dthe Colonel says it's t shoot
The chutesI,
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1898-09-02

j. =. ALEXANDER
Has the ONLY Complete As
sortrnent of
Fine Handkerchief Triple
Extracts and Toilet Prepa-
|rations
to be found in the county.
These are strictly reliable
high grade goods----Perfuraes,
Toilet Waters, Colognes, Sachet
Powders, Powders for Complexion,
Toilet, Nursery and Teeth. Liquid
Washes for the Teeth and Tonnes
for the Hair, Curling Fluids sc.
The San Francisco call., 1898-04-14
CHAPTER VIII
Salaries.

SECTION 1. The officers and mem bers of the Fire Department shall re- ceive annual salaries as follows:
 Chief Engineer, four thousand dollars; First Assistant Chief Engineer, three thousand dollars; Second Assistant En- gineer, twenty-four hundred dollars; Battalion Chiefs, each twenty-one hum dred dollars; Superintendent of En- zines, eighteen hundred dollars; the Clerk and Commissary of the Corpora tion Yards, fifteen hundred dollars; Captains, each fourteen hundred and forty dollars; Lieutenants, each twelve hundred dollars; Engineers, each thirteen hundred and fifty dollars; Drivers, Stokers. Tillermen. Truckmen, Hosemen, and Stewards, for the first year of service, each nine hundred and sixty dollars; for the second year of service, each ten hundred and eighty dollars; and for the third year of ser vice and thereafter each twelve hum dred dollars; Hydrantmen, each ten hundred and eighty dollars: Superin- tendent of horses, twelve hundred dol- lars; .Draymen, each nine hundred dol lars: Hostlers, each seven hundred and twenty dollars; Watchmen, each nine hundred dollars; Pilots of Fire Boats, each twelve hundred dollars; Engineers of Fire Boats, each fifteen hundred dol lars; Assistant Engineers of Fire Boats, each fourteen hundred and forty dol lars; Bremen of Fire Boats, each nine hundred dollars.
The San Francisco call., 1898-04-14
CHAPTER III.
The Chief Engineer.

SECTION 1. The Board of Fire Com- missioners shall appoint a Chief Eng1- neer who shall be charged with the special duty of experimenting the ex- tinguishment of fires. The Chief En. gineer shall be the chief executive offl- cer of the Fire Department, and 1t shall be his duty and that of the Assistant Chief Engineers and of the Battalion Chiefs to see that all laws, orders rules and regulations in force in the City and County. or made by the Commissioners concerning the Fire Department, arc enforced.
 Sec, ?. The Chief Engineer may sus- pend any subordinate officer, member or employee of the Department for in- competency, or for any violation of the rules and regulations of the Fire De- partment, and shall forthwith report in writing such suspension, with his req sons therefor, to the Commissioners for their action He shall diligently ob- serve the condition of the apparatus and workings of the Department and report in writing thereon at least once a month to the Board and make such recommendations and suggestions re- specting the same as he may deem proper. In the absence or inability Of the Chief Engineer, an Assistant Chief Engineer shall perform his duties.
 Sec. 8. The Chief Engineer, or, in his absence, the Assistant Chief Engineers. or, in their absence, any Battalion Chief in charge may, during a conf1agration, cause to be cut down or otherwise re- moved any buildings or structures for the purpose of checking the progress ot such conflagration.
The San Francisco call., 1898-04-14
CHAPTER IL
Municipal Elections.

SECTION 1. There shall be held In the City and County of San Francisco on the first Tuesday after the first Monday of November in the year one thousand eight hundred and ninety nine, and in every second year there after, an election to be known as the municipal election.
 At said elections there shall be elected by the electors of the City and County the following officers: The Mayor, eighteen Supervisors, an Auditor. Treasurer, Assessor. Tax Collector, Recorder, City Attorney, District At torney, Public Administrator, County Clerk, Sheriff, Coroner and four Police Judges. Each of the above officers shall be elected for two years, except the Police Judges and the Assessor. each of whom shall be elected for four years. The Superintendent of Public Schools shall be elected for four years, and the Justices of the Peace for two years, at the same time that members of the Legislature are elected.
 Sec. g. All of the officers of the City and County of San Francisco who shall be elected in the year one thousand eight hundred and ninety eight, under existing laws, except the Super1n- tendent of Public Schools and the Jus% tices of the Peace, shall hold office only until the hour of noon on the first Mon day after the first day of January in the year nineteen hundred.
 Sec. B. The officers first elected as aforesaid under this Charter shall take office at noon on the first Monday after the first day of January following.
 Sec f. The Mayor shall issue his proclamation and publish the same in the official newspaper for at least twenty days previous to the day in each year on which the municipal election Is to be held under this Charter, calling upon the electors of the City and County to meet for the purpose of electing such officers as are provided for in this Charter, reciting in such proclamation the different officers to- be elected at such election.
The San Francisco call., 1898-04-14

ganize within ten days after their ap- pointment by choosing one of their number President. In case of failure to agree, he shall be selected by lot. He shall hold office for one year and until his successor is chosen. The Board shall appoint a Registrar of Voters who shall receive an annual salary of twenty-four hundred dollars. The Registrar shall be the Secretary of the Board, and shall keep a record of its proceedings, and shall execute all orders and enforce all rules and regula- tions adopted by the Board. The term of office of the Registrar shall be four years.
 Sec. 4. The Board may appoint such other clerical assistants as may be ne- cessary at a salary not to exceed one hundred dollars a month each for the time actually employed. The Board shall, by resolution adopted by ma- jority vote of all it's members and en- tered upon its minutes, designate the service to be rendered by such as~ sistants and the time for which they shall be employed. The time of em- ployment of such assistants shall not be extended except by like resolution of the Board, and when a salary shall have been once fixed it shall not be in- creased. This section is subject to the provisions of Article XIII of this Charter.
 Sec, 5. All provisions of the general laws of this State respecting elections shall be applicable to all elections held in the City and County of San Fran cisco. All provisions of the general laws of this State respecting the registration of voters shall be applicable to such registration in the City and County. The Board of Election Commissioners must provide for precinct registration so far as 1t can do so under the Con- stitution and laws of the State.
The San Francisco call., 1898-04-14
CHAPTER VII.
Promotions, Suspensions, Dismissals
 and Disratements.

SECTION 1. All promotions in the Department shall be from the next lower rank, seniority of service and meritorious public service being con- sidered.
 Sec. 2. Any member of the Depart ment guilty of any offense, or violation of rules and regulations, shall be liable to be punished by reprimand, or by fine to be fixed by the Commission CTS, or by dismissal from the Depart ment; but no fine shall ever be imposed at any one time for any offense ex- ceeding one months salary.
 Sec. 3. No member. of the Department shall be subject to dismissal for any cause, or to punishment for any breach of duty or misconduct therein. except after a fair and impartial trial before the Commissioners upon a verified com plaint filed with the Board setting forth specifically the acts complained of, and after such reasonable notice to him of the time and place of hearing as the Board may by rule prescribe. The &C., cused shall be entitled upon such hear ing to appear personally and by coun- sel; to have public trial; and to se- cure and enforce free of expense to him the attendance of all witnesses neces- eary for his defense.
The San Francisco call., 1898-04-14
CHAPTER VII.
Firemen's Relief Fund,

SECTION 1. In order to. continue in force and make effectual pensions already existing in favor Of firemen, a fund is hereby created to be known and designated as the Firemen's Relief Fund. The Board of Fire Commission CTS of the City and County and Its suc- cessors in office shall constitute a Board of Trustees of said Fund. The Board shall be known as the Board of Fire Pension Fund Commissioners.
 Sec. g. There shall be annually levied, collected and apportioned to the Firemen's Relief Fund tax sufficient to meet and pay all demands upon said Fund, for the purposes set out in this Chapter.
 Sec. 8. The Commissioners may, by a, unanimous vote. retire and relieve from service any aged, infirm or disabled fireman of the Department who has ar- rived at the age of sixty-flve years, and who. upon an examination by two regu- larly certificated practicing physicians appointed by the Commissioners for that purpose, may be ascertained to be by reason of such age, infirmity or other disability, unfit for the perform ance of his duties. Such retired fire man shall receive from the Firemen's Relief Fund monthly pension equal to one-half of the amount of the salary attached to the rank held by him three years prior to the date of his retire. ment. No such pension shall be paid unless such person has been an active member Of the Fire Department for twenty years continuously next pre- ceding his retirement. and the same shall cease at his death.
 Sec. 4. Any member of the Fire De-
The San Francisco call., 1898-04-14
CHAPTER V.
Fire Marshal,

SECTION 1. The Board of Fire Con- missionerS, on the written recom- mendation of the Board of Directors of the corporation known as the Under writers Fire Patrol of San Francisco, may appoint such persons as may be recommended by said Board of Di- rectors as Fire Marshal and Assistant Fire Marshal. Vacancies occurring in the office of Fire Marshal or Assistant Fire Marshal shall be filled in the same manner. The salaries of said Fire Mar shal and of his assistant and deputies shall be fixed and paid by said Board of Directors of said Underwriters Fire event shall the City and County be liable therefor or any part thereof.
 Sec. 2. The Fire Marshal or, in case of his disability. the Assistant Fire Marshal shall attend all fires which may occur in the City and County and he shall take charge of and protect all property which may be imperiled thereby.
 Sec. 8. The Fire Marshal may call upon policemen during the time of any fire for the purpose of protecting prop erty until the arrival of the owner or claimant thereof, and in case the owner or claimant of such property does not take charge of the same within twenty four hours, the Fire Marshal may have such property stored at the owners or claimants expense.
 Sec. 4. The Fire Marshal shall be charged with the enforcement of all laws and ordinances relating to the storage, sale and use of oils, combus- tible materials and explosives, together with the investigation of the cause of all fires. In all cases where there is reason to believe that fires are the re- suit of crime or that crime has been committed in connection herewith, the Fire Marshal must report the same in writing to the District Attorney. The Fire Marshal shall also have the care of, and may sell, subject to the orders of the Board of Fire Commissioners, all property saved from fire for which no owner can be found, and at once pay the amount realized from any such sale into the treasury. He shall exercise the functions of police officer
 Sec. 5. The Fire Marshal shall have power to appoint deputies for inspect ing buildings, but such deputies shall receive no compensation for their serv- ices from the City and County.