Evening star., 1898-12-31
INSANE IDEAS OF HUMOR

II never knew until went out to Cali
fornia this time that insane people have
powerful sense of humor,'' said a Wash
tngtonian who recently returned from
trip to the coast Il confess that Eve
always found morbid sort Of interest in
going through noted Insane asylums, and
SO l armed myself with the proper Gre
denttais in San Francisco and went up to
NaPa county to have look over the
splendid asylum for the insane there. In
asmuch as l wanted to see few things
without the attentions of a guide, 1 didn't
go straight to the Office of the asylum and
present my letters, but just rambed around
the beautiful, spacious grounds for awhile.
hadn't spent three minutes examining the
extraordinary rose gardens in front Of the
main asylum building before tall, slender
young man, well dressed and exceedingly
well-groomed, emerged from a clump of
oleander trees and approached me.
Taking look around, eh?" said he
to me.
Yes I said; L only arrived here a few
minutes ago, and I'm taking the liberty of
nosing about without any official guild
anCe.'
We'll the tall young man said. pleas
antly, L don't suppose l fall out of the
classification official guidance seeing
that l am the assistant superintendent
here, yet 1 should be pleased to show you
place any restraint upon you by my awe
inspiring presence
well, the young chaps manner was so
pleasant and winning that L could only
thank him for his kindness, and we started
over the grounds. We hadn't gone far be-
fore a middle-aged man. also well-dressed
and Well-groomed, appeared some distance
in front of us down the gravel walk, and
he beckoned to my companion. The young
man excused himself courteously and went
up to the middle-aged man. The two con-
versed earnestly together for few min
utes, and then, linking arms, what do they
do but coolly walk off, leaving me standing
| there in the middle of the gravel path,
good deal non-pluSSed.
Surprised over the way they deserted
your said a voice right back of me. You
mustn't mind a little thing like that,
though. Both of those men are as crazy
as looms
'T turned around and there, standing be-
hind a hedge about ten feet to my rear,
was a little old gentleman, neatly dressed
in black, and with a quizzical smile on his
features
"'Surely,' I said, you cannot mean that
that misunderstanding. pleasant hammered
young man who was conducting me about
the grounds is bereft of his wits?'
mad as a March hare repeated the old
gentleman, fatty. Incurable case. Harm
less. but incurable. The man that he went
off with is also a very sad case-Very.
Thinks he is the Maharajah of Budblud, or
sonnet hing like that But you mustn't mind
EN- Lots of visitors are taken in the same
way. If you care to. I'll just show you
around. l am one of the board of visitors
of this institution, and Just happen 10 be
here in my unofficial capacity today
Much marveling over what the old gen.
tleman told me, l fell in with him and we
rambled around the huge geranium arbors,
and finally entered the enormous glass
building where the cultivation of yiolets is
carried on.
=" Nice array of flowers. isn't ito the old
gentleman inquired Of me. waving his hand
at the beautiful beds of VioletS in bloom. 4
am not inOrdinately vain, my friend, / hope
you will understand. and yet l cannot but
congratulate myself upon the Introduction
Of this volet-raising feature here for /.
myself, was responsible for it, and only
succeeded in having this hot house con-
structed after enormous eXeTtions with the
authorities of the institution
Il congra tulated the Old gentleman upon
the result of his laborS, and was just about
to ask him to take me into the main build
ing and introduce me to the superintendent,
when he suddenly excused himself. saying
that he had left his spectacles on bench
in the gardens, and would be back direct
ly l waited for him for fully ten minutes.
but, as he did not return, L Started on out
of the glass building
You -.dn't really expect him back?
heard a voice say, and then a pleasant
faced man, dressed as laborer. and carry
ing a watering pot. came from behind a
group of palms. He spoke with a Scotch
brcgue.
g The old gentleman you We're with is
very bad up here said the man with the
watering pot, touching his forehead. He's
been here for twenty years and he fances
he owns the place. | am the head gardener
here, and he tries his best to me. But
he Ont-no, sir, he don't he can't. No
crazy man can run me- and the Scotsman
went down the length of the raised violet
beds, watering the plants.
L passed out Of the glass building and
started for the entrance to the main build
ing, there to present my letters. As l was
about to walk up the steps to the entrance
a man with side whiskers and rather Il
sharp, piercing eye. walked up to me.
You have business here" he inquired
of me- in rather sharp tone. Well |
thought he might be another of 'em, and so
| kept right on. He followed me up the
steps and into the office and ] had to hand
my letters to him. He was the superin-
tendent He smiled when | told him of nv
experiences in the grounds.
Which of them were really insane?' 1
asked him.
" An of them, he replied.