davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star., 1898-10-22

regal hairs as to how questions should be
pat 10 witnesses or answered by them. 1
nave mad two seges of that kind in he
circuit Court before 7 got on the Jury | am
now on, and if / can helm it | will never
serve on another. 1t is Rad enough to have
to listen for hours and hours to unneces-
sary evidence, but then ones judgment is
further insuited by the arguments of conn
sci on both sides, the theory being that
ordinary people cannot understandingly try
case w1tho 1t their calculations and *
plantations of the testimony | can hon
estly say that l have never got the slight
est fnforma ton idea from any fawyer's
argument L nave ever heard in any case
that nave assisted in trying and other
Jurors nave said the me to me time and
time again. The Judges are tarred with +ha
same stick, too, for many of their charges
DO more to cofnoIicate the cases than to
stfaignten them out. for the charge is moth
ing more or less than a condensation of
the arguments in the cases and in MANY
instances even as tiresome as the argu-
ments." s
rheumatism makes more liars than any
other disease" said a physician to a Star
reporter though the people most affected
oy II are unccnsciously affected as far as
thelr lying is concerned. Ordinarily an at
tack or rheumatism coming and going, lasts
d"out tnree weeks. The second week is
seheraiiy the worst as far pain is con-
'ii~'- iic hISt week the sufferer de-
Fo'es 10 MS or her own cures. They fail
ing to quiet the attack and the consequent
PAIN, the second week is taken IN with
trying the various remedies suggested by
friends and acquaintances AS the third
week enters, the sufferer in the meantime
having about made up his or her mind to
ret the disease have its own way. having
given up the hope of trying to cure it, the
Pd'ieilt Is ready to try as many things and
reneoles as come along and generally does
80 IL matters not how nonse nsical they
are One says wear pewter ring on the
second tihSer of the left hand, another to
urIhk great quantities Of water another
TO consume half dozen lemons a day.
ahother to carry horse chestnuts in your
Dcckets' ana so on. BY the end of the
third week the rheumatism has nassed
away ana praises are sung to every ear
IN favor of the last remedy tried The
eht1fe credit Is given the last thing tried
anu Whlle 1t may not have done any more
SCOd than If the patient carried brick
IN MS oFercoat or dress pocket if that was
tEe particular thing last done it will be
for all time heralded as a cure certain and
reliable. Here is where rheumatism makes
mars OF people. 1t is rare that a sufferer
from rheumatism is ever told to consult a
physician. That seems to be the last thing
thought of in cases of rheumatism. though
nearly the first thing in nearly all other
attacks OF disease. Curiously enough in
nearly all the springs, medicated baths and
other sure cures the patient is told that
I"eHty-Cne baths or tWenty-one DAYS of
drinking the water is necessary. He-e
comes in the three weeks again and 7 sun
pose 1t is necessary. 1t is at best A trou
piesome complaint, and 1t rarely Yields un-
til it has run its course. to return on
the slightest prOvOca ton
Evening star., 1898-10-22
The Coy Coyote.
From the Kansas City Journal.

From the Kansas City Journal.
speaking about smart animals" said the
real estat. man, Il want to go on record as
saving that there is no animal that can
hold candle to the coyote for smootnness.
When l first went out to western Kansas
/ had an ambition to kill enough coyotes
to make lap robe to send back to my
friends in the east. l tramped all over that
country with a gun, but l never could get
nearer than within a mile of a coyote 1
used to drive out in my buggy and hide til
gun under the seat but it didn't make any
difference. Not a coyote ever got near
enough so that he could have been reached
with anything short of a longrange cannen.
"One day l started out in a hurry and
forgot my gun. / hadn't gone mile from
town before ran onto a group of four coy
otes The critters didn't even take The
trouble to lope off out of sight. They just
walked off two or three rods from the road
and sat doWr. and looked at me and yawn-
ed. 1t made me hot to see their inferhdl
impudence, and l made dive as if l We're
going to get the gun out from under the
seat l thought sure / would scare them
away. Well, maybe you wouldn't believe
it. but those cussed coyotes never moved.
They just sat up there and actually grin
red. They said just as plain as Il they
had used the words: oh, you needn't Try
to run any bluff on US! We are strictly
onto our job How they knew l hadn't tue
gun l don't kLow, but l have had great ro-
spect for the sense of coyote ever since"
Evening star., 1898-10-22
WARS DOMESTIC USES.
They Sometimes Stand Man i'm yery
Good stead.

Inc man was standing on the wharf at
a point where he could see into the nom
PeHucld depths of the Potomac about two
inches He was gazing down Just as in
ttntly, however, when the policeman spoke
to him.
w eII? said the officer in that disagree
afle questioning tone policeman seems to
thlnk he has right to assume
Thanks, yes" said the man with a wan
smile, about as well as could be expected
under the circumstances.
Ine officer wasn't expecting that kind of
an answer and it threw him off his clew
4 meanr" he stammered, what are Won
looking in that water for?"
I m not smiles the man again. cts too
nuddy-too Potomacky, / might say. hav-
ing used it in my family for washing,
years"
Il guess you're all right" said the DO
hceman. changing the subject
I don't think | am confessed the man
frankly In fact l know 1 am not My
wife and l were just discussing that point
before | came down here"
ell, what are you doing here inquired
the policeman quite anxiousy as he had
made his first inquiry
Il was thinking what pity il was that
the war with Spain was over"
Why, pity? Everybodys glad of it, l
thought"
I'm not"
why not?"
well, when there was a war being a
right decent sort of a man that makes a
rattling good living for my wife all | had
to DO to bring her out of her tantrums was
to threaten 20 quit work and go to the
frCnt where the chances Of staying while
wilder woman was left at home to scrap
along for herself and four small children
couldn't be beat ! say, the war was the
greatest domestic regulator on earth, but
1t couldn't last. of course. 1t would have
been too much luck for a man like me. No
Stree, it had to quit, and now the best |
can do is to tell my wife where I'm going
and make a break for this neighborhood,
ar least three miles from home, besides the
publicity of 1t. Goodbye, l guess I'll be
going back. If you see anything of scarf
woman charging around here in the course
of the next half hour tell her I've gone
home. will you, please?" and he moved slow
u off toward a street car.
Evening star., 1898-10-22

SIDE the street car. The colonel never
dld Ike this young woman much. anyhow
say isn't there some spot for which
you yearn at times; one whose memory
cheers you even while separation causes
regret and the hope OF seeing which re-
wives In you disappointment and eucour-
ages you to struggle on"
II you allude to real estate with Gle
mats climbing ovuh a grape arbor and
roses around the do" he answered with
great dellberation, I'm afraid / can't cx-
actly follow you, OWN to my having lived
at hotel TO the last twenty years But
If you allude to the ace Of trumps. I lesiah
TO say that | sympathize in yo' sentiments
thoroughly and indorse them without ass A.
Vation"
Evening star., 1898-10-22
The Mountain DweIIer.

L ask no odds Of the men who ride
With trappings that gleam like gold;
Nor envy the homes where they abide.
Nor the lands by their will controlled.
For a, sense of freedom and joy profound
Is mine as l look on high.
There's only an acre or so of ground,
But billions of acres Of sky.
lis heartless master. the stubborn sod
As for beauty you delve and strive;
You must blast the quarry and break tho
clod
Ere gardens and towers may thrive
But my clouds with castles each night ara
crowned
And the radiant stars draw nigh
There's only an acre or so of ground.
But billions of acres of sky.
Oh, the town is great and the town is fine
And it's gay a town can be,
And the house On the height where the sun's
ashine
Is humble, though fair to me;
But a universe seems to gather round
With joys that Will never fly;
There's only an acre or Of ground,
But billions of acres of sky.
Evening star., 1898-10-22
A Friend Indeed.

There are moments of ecstasy dear to us ALL
Some people demand the sublime,
While things by comparison modest and
small
Move others to rapture and rhyme.
And surely muse would be grim TO refuse,
When autumn's rude chill strikes your
bunk,
wee bit of meter to help you enthuse
When the heater goes "plunkety-plunk,"
1t was just as goblin. sent straight from
the pole.
Took advantage, lcidedly mean
soul.
A victim to snatch from the scene
And, chained to an iceberg, afar from all
men,
A helpless one shivered and shrunk
While the frost-goblin fiendishly gibbered-
and then
The heater went ''plunkety- PUNK
Oh, sweeter by far than the robins first
note
That sings of the summers fond reign
When the bloom-tints awake in the orchard
and float
Ger the quivering branches again
Is the warning that scatters a hideous
dream
When at last the man throws in a chunk
OF coal and prepares to provide US with
steam
And the heater goes ''plunkety- -plunk,'
Evening star., 1898-10-22
A RetrOSnect.

Il was thinking" said the man who had
just given a deep sigh, ''of the departed
days of youth
"Ah. yes" answered his companion, as he
stroked his iowny mustache; youth is the
sprintgime of life; the period when all our
ideals are undimmed
1T is. it is. 1t is the time when the
blossoms are fresh and fair, with no gus
picion of the blight which may come to
harm the fruit"
Il suppose that when man gets lit
tie along in years, s&y-er-like yourself
he'd give a great deal If he could only
turn the clock back a decade or So"
He would. There's no use denying it.;
he would. He can't help feeling gloomy
over what he has lest; those days when
he thought that he could give Bismarck
points ON craftsmanship, If he'd only take
the trouble to study little: when he was
certain he'd be able to give Rubinstein
music lessons, if he decided to turn his
attention to the piano; when he didn't en-
tertain the slightest doubt of his ability to
show Booth where his reading of Shakes
peare might be improved, and when he
looked UP at night and saw a sky that
teemed with undiscovered planets waiting
for him to turn astronomer. He may have
more sense when he gets older and not
annoy the neighbOrs so much: but / d'no' s
it's worth what he has given up"
Evening star., 1898-10-22

by instinct, but self-preservation is the first
law of nature. Last night i begged a
little canned lobster from the kitchen
and tied it to a piece of twine. When the
noise began | lowered the twine out of the
window and waited for bite. l didn't use
a hook. 1t isn't necessary If you give
plenty of twine to swallow. 1t wasn't long
before there was a tug. | began to haul in,
but the animal was SO game that l thought
I'd better play ii awhile, as to tire It,
and l paid out all the line | had Ii was
the most desperate fighting / have seen
since | was bass fishing in the mountains.
l started in earnest to land it and had drag
ged 1t half way up the brick wall, when 1t
wriggled off and got away. It's going 10
take a lot of practice to land this kind of
game, and l want good rod and as
fine reel as the factories turn out. / ex-
pect to put in great deal of time at this
sport, and if you hear of anybody who is
Evening star., 1898-10-22
Seeking Something Appropriate

Mr.. Blykins had been reading his news
paper and was looking thoughtfully at tho
vacant wall, when his wife said:
Well have you decided? You know L
said / would leave it entirely to your judg-
ment."
Have | decided on what?'
''On a name for the dog. You said you
would think up something while you were
down town today"
lis that dog still around the house?"
why. of course, he is. And / don't see
why you should speak of him in that way.
l have always wanted dog"
Certainly. I'm glad he came. / was
afraid he might have strayed away. Name
him Hector"
That's common"
well, call him Carlo"
But so many dogs are named Carlo"
call him Pinke"
THAT isn't a bit appropriate. He's a
mastif, l think"
You want something appropriate and un-
usual?"
Yes"
Well, let's see. That dog came into our
possession quite Unexpectedly; some OF US
are in favor of keeping him and some are
not but il seems a great deal easier to taks
OF him than 1t does to get rid OF him.
Let's call him Philippines
Evening star., 1898-10-22
AN ENDLESS CHAIN.
A Business Man Tangled Up With 81
General Utility Citizen,

From the Detroit Free Press
Il suppose We all get caught at times. -
remarked a wel-known business man YES
terday, but 1 have had an experience that
was particularly mcrtifying to one who has
been in business for forty years.
Il received some time ago, a letter from,
party living in Il little town in the west.
who wanted a small bill Of goods
Not finding his name in either Dun's or
Bradstreets, l wrote the postmaster for
the mans standing. 1 received a yerv
hattering letter in return, saying that the
party l inquired about was one of the
towns solid citizens and good for any
amount.
This allayed any suspicion that L had
and L forwarded the goods ordered
Il sent three bills before | received an
answer, and then it was not satisfactory.
L allowed the matter to run for SOM time
ana, at last, getting saucy answer in re-
ply 10 letter of mine asking for a Settle
ment, L lost my temper and wrote the post
master n letter, telling him to hand the
matter over to the leading attorney in
town Tor collection. no matter hat the
cost would be.
1T wasn't long before 1 received an an
swer from the postmaster saying he had
followed ny Instructions and handed the
matter to an attorney, who had succeeded
in collecting the amount put at n consider
able expense. In fact, the attorney had q
bill against ms for s25 more than he had
collected, and that he One postmaster) had
paid 1t and would look 20 mo :or the
amount
Here was situation. hadn't instruct
ed the postmaster to act as my cashier, but
thinking that was the western way of it,
and not caring to have the fool postmaster
lose the amount, l sent him a check, and
considered the matter closed.
But the other day l CHANGED to meet
party who formerly lived In that town, and
l asked him il he knew the party who had
beaten me out of a bill of goods. II, said
he did He was a general utility man for
the whole neighborhood. Ran a general
store. kept the post office, and, when he
could get nothing elss to do took what
business he could get as a lawyer He
added that he appeared to be making
money, but 1t was mystery to every cne
how he managed it,
But II was no mystery to me. I had
seen a great light. He has an endless chain
arrangement that will make him fortune
II some one doesn't get mad and so cut
there and kill him."
Evening star., 1898-10-22
The Spot He Yearped For

Here We are"' exclaimed the gushfil
young woman Home again. home again.
from a foreign shorer
i-er-understood that you had iust
oeeh TO Philadelphia" said Colonel sul-
well who had met her at the depot.
Yes"
DO you allude to Philadelphia as a for
eiSn sho?"
No. But l could not restrain my en-
thusiasm as l thought OF the dear old SPOT
from which have been separated for four
long days. Tell me. colonel. isn't there
some dear old spot that you long for nd
which it would fiu you with happiness To
see once more?'
beg pardon!" exclaimed her escort,
whose eyes had wandered to the world OUT
Evening star., 1898-10-22
Wants Quickly Filled,

At this season. when so many are seek
ing situations, and. on the other hand, so
many seeking employees, 1t is of interest
to know that advertisements under the
classifcations Wanted Help and Wanted
Situations ara inserted in The Star at q
charge of 15 cents for fifteen words.
Evening star., 1898-10-22
An Acquired Talent
rom the Cleveland Plain Dealer.

From the Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Ma, Mr.. Boxer was speakin' about pa 8
gettin' a medal for the way he fought at
Santiago, an he said pa wasn't natural
born fighter"
What else did he say?"
He said pa acquired it all since he was
married.
We'll, you just run right over to Mr..
Boxers and tell him l want to see him as
quick as he can get here"
Evening star., 1898-10-22
His Feeling.
EpOnn Puck.


Il don't play golf" remarked shrewd old
Farmer Hornbeak; but yet
He paused to caress his chin whiskerA
the while a dry grin wrinkled his complex
ion.
1t makes me as tired as tunkettr'
Evening star., 1898-10-22
ANY particular style of fishing?"

Il shouldn't think there was excitement
enough for you in merely catching catfish
II didn't say / was going to catch cat
fish, / said 1 was going cat fishing. My
room is right over row of back fences.
1t is the old, sad story. The noise outside
is like the choir at a Chinese funeral from
II pm. till D in the morning. | am not cruel
Evening star., 1898-10-22
Situations Secured.

Many situations are secured through the
want advertisements in The Star. The cost
is but trifiing. Fifteen cents pays for fifteen
words.
Evening star., 1898-10-22
Cheap Publicity.

For fifteen cents you can let every one ii
Washington know by a star want ad. thai
you want situation or want a cook.
Evening star., 1898-10-22

A Degenerate Walfnn

Il want good, stout fishing pole. a reel
and some fishing line" said a young man
with a weary look around the eyes. -
Going fishing?" inquired his old friend,
the dealer.
Evening star., 1898-10-22
Am Washinston am Audicnce.

The Stars Wanted Help and Situations
columns are carefully read by thousands
daily. Fifteen cents pays for fifteen words.
Evening star., 1898-10-22

troubled with mice and wants a nice ca
let ME know
The times., 1898-10-02
A CAT TALE.
What Happened to the Pet of the
New York Jaciies.
CFrom the New York SUM-

(From the New York sun.
There is a war story going the rounds
which, however strange it may SEEM is
vouched for by every jacky and several
officers on the cruiser New York. and
then the cat is exhibited as convincing
proof. The cat is a black one, called Mig
ger, He is young and is active in this
Northern climate, but on the blockade he
spent much time sleeping. His favorite
resting place was the forecastle and he
was often TO be seen stretched out on the
cool side of a hatch coaming or at the
base of the forward turret.
On the night of June 4, the one after
that on which the Merrimac was sunk,
the New Orleans, on the eastern end Of
the blockading line opened fire at about
$3.50 on what was taken TO be Spanish
torpedo boat. The New York headed in
the direction of the firing Immediately
and also opened fire. The first shot was
from one of the S-inch guns in the for
ward turret, aimed pretty well forward
and with but slight elevation. OF course,
the concussion was heavy. More than
that, the shot was unexpected, and sew
eral men standing about the forecastle
were thrown from their feet by the force
of the discharge.
Now the chief beauty of the story is
that no one saw just what happened TO
the cat at the time the gun was fired,
and there has been no attempt to fake
any description. There is simply hiatus
left, and the story jumps to the next
morning watch, when the men engaged
in washing down the decks heard the
plaintive cry of a cat from over the ship
side
1t was finally located at the foot of the
port forward sea ladder. Beside this lad
der hung two hand ropes. just reaching
to the surface of the water. With his
claws firmly embedded in the very end OF
one of them cluug Niger. the black cat.
One of the sailors climbed down and lift
ed him out of the water and brought
him up to the forecastle, where he was
rubbed dry, fed. petted and wondered
over until the officer of the deck hailed
the forecastle from the bridge and want
ed to know why the washing down had
been stopped. That officer is one of those
who vouch for the fact that Niger was
blown overheard by the discharge OF the
| gun and spent eight hours in the waters
| of the Caribbean hanging at the end OF
| a rope.
The times., 1898-10-02

him, yet his heart cried out so loudly
that he knew not IL the wailing came
from her lips or his own. Long he wan
dered in the wood, but when night fell
returned again to his cottage. Pushing
open the doorfi the moonlight streaming
in after him. he entered the small kitch-
en-. On the table, the cork withdrawn,
was a bottle of spirits-the air reeled with
the smell of it. He did not know whose
hand had placed the bottle there, but his
thirst demanded Stacking and forced him
forward Clutching at his throat, striV-
ing to tear the thirst from it, he ad-
vanced. the bottle glistening in the
moonlight, looking as if it We're alive. He
cast an agonized glance round the walls,
seeking help from familiar things, and his
eyes fell on his gun. A sob of relief
broke from him; he took down the gun,
loaded it hurriedly, the smell of the spir-
its dripping on to his lips, he licking it
down.
He snatched the bottle from the table,
shouldered his gun and went out-up
through the woods, past the broken stile
where the coarse grass lay pressed close
to the earth, and Phoebe had flung herself
down and wept. With ayerted face he
passed the spot, and entered deep into
the heart of the wood. AT last he stop
ped: about him the trees grew close and
lHlck, no eye Dul dOu cOulu see HIS
shame. He leaned his gun up against
branch; the moonlight edged itself be-
| tween the trees. and he held the bottle
! up.
so yer have got the best O. me at
| last" he said; yer have got the best o.
me at last
| The bottle gIistened: he brought 1t
nearer his lips, his thirst pressed for
! quenching, the thirst that he would
slake before he shot himself
Yer smiling devil" he burst out, with
| sudden fierceness, yer reckon to catch
me, de zee. No, by hell yer don't; I'll
die wi'out tasting 'ee.'' and he dashed
/ the bottle into fragments at his feet. A
moment later he had flung himself upon
the ground, striving to lick up the spirits
with his tongue.
Dog that / ba, dog that 1 ba," he
sobbed. mo better than a dog-no bet
ter than a dog"
Sick with shame and horror, he regain
ed his feet; he took a piece of cord from
his pocket made a loop in it, attaching
| one end to the trigger of the gun. He
pressed the cold steel barrel up against
his hot beating heart: and placed his
foot in the loop. "a dogs death for a
! dog" he muttered.
The moonlight shone on him, on the
! gun, anu on tHe broken DOttle at MS Ieeti
the giistening glass attracted him and he
! stared at 1t, fresh thoughts crowding his
brain. a tremor ran through him; raising
his eyes, he fixed them on the moonlii
! heavens and gray windspun clouds
''Ther be zomrnat in me a a'zide the dog, .
he said, slowly. ''Ay, begore, I'll live
game, I'll zee 1t droo." and drawing him
self together, he turned his face once
more on Ife-Blackwoods Magazine