The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1898-06-26
NOT BECAUSE OF THE COON.
THE KNoB COUNTRY AFFAIR THAT
RIL ED UNULE JONAS
TIE ne sure. the sauire's law bore Heavily on
the Onender when COons Were InvoiVed-
Tho Reason for ThrrInE and Feather
ing tho Heir TO HuIdah Ann'a CienrinE.

Tho Reason for ThrrinH ana Fehther~
Ing the Heir TO HnIdah AIMS CienrinE.
MILFORD, Pa, Juno 25.-"'Cordin' to Unclo
Jonas, said the man from the Knob country,
"the fellor that sot on the stump skinnin' a coon
had q consarned narrow escape from bein' tarred
and fenthered, l tell youl I should say he didl
Not cause he was skinnin' a coon, o course.
faint no crime to skim coon, not unless you
do IL like Gabe sworo that ELI done II one timo,
and steal your coon fore you skin II.
ELL says Gabo, you 'propriated my coon,
and that's it's skin nailed to your barn door
yender.' he says. i want ten shillin' or Ill
take the law on YOU
Gabriel, says Eli 'then's harsh things to
say agin q nelEhbor, and toler'ble hard to
prove, I'm thinkin'. When l find ten shlllin'
rollin' up hill with your name on 1t, though, Ill
como and give It to YOU says he.
THAT riled Gabe. and he went and seen
Reub. Reub done lawin' jobs for his neigh
bors, and Gabe went and seen him and asked his
advice about what to do to git tho worth O.
that coon that he said Ell had 'propriated.
"'What you'l have to do first says ltsub.
is to git a writ o. habus corpus and fetch the
coon before the Squire
"'But the coon is dead, says Cab
"'That's all the better says Te4b. The
coon can't git away from us IL he's dead as
we'll as he could II he was alive, kin hot
NO, says ttenD, UuU now IN SHIl NIL DC
you goin' to habus corpus a coon that's been
eat up for two weeks and betteri' says he.
"'Well,' says Reub. 1t amt noways likely
that ELI has eat the skin, is it, says he. Amt
that coon skin that's nailed to Els barn door
the one that used to kivver your coonf
~ kin afiidavy that 1t is,' says Gabe.
""Then we'll habus corpus the skim says
Reub. and produce It before the Squire. and
lug Eli In, too, with a capias or somethin' O. that
sort. and make him prove that he didn't peel
that skin off O. your coon, II he kin. That'n
make him sweat, I'll bet YOU says Reub.
"GRbe he told Reub to 20 ahead and do 1t,
and Reub went to the Squire.
Squire says he, we've got a case ag'in
Eli for 'propriatin' q coon. The heft O. evil
denco is that he has eat the coon. all cxceptin'
the skin. What we want says Reub, is q
habus corpus for him to produce that skin be-
fore you, SOS we kin take perceedin's reglar
and sock it to him. says Reub.
" Reuben says the Squire, my opinion IL
that you hadn't.better do 1t. When you wunst
get to habus corpusin' there amt no tellin'
where you're goin' to end. First thing you
know says he, you're liable to.run slam ag'in
the Constitution, and then where be you'll Eject
ment is what you want, Reuben says the
Squire. 'Ejectment or trespassin' on the case
"Reub he hated like pirates to give up tho
habus corpusin' of the skin, but the Squire
hung to it that eJectment was the proper idee.
and so Reub took q summons and fetched it
ag'in Ell that way. When the suit come up
the Squire, havin' Jest finished half solin'. a
pair o boots for the dominic, says:
Gas a preliminary in this here case, says he.
L want to state that the court has made all of
It's arrangements to go .fshin', SO there won't
be no delay in the proceedin's, as the court has
thunk the case all up and kin hand down an
opinion double quick. Where's the culpritl'
'Reub he jumps up and says: There amt no
culprit, your Honor. These here proceedin's is
for ~ejectmentl' says he.
keep your shirt on, Reubeni' says the
Squire. Gabriel, stand up!' says he.
.Gabe stood up. the s'prisedest Teller that
ever tempered with the law.
so you've been coon huntin'. have your
says the Squire.
"'Why, yes says Gabe. 4 went out t'other
night, Squire. l only got one, though, and that
un Ell stole and eatl' says he.
"A man thatll go out deliberate and hunt
coons when there's bear waitin' to be follered,
says the Squire, is liable to be q dangerous
citizen, and l could sock 1t to you, Gabriel.
But beln's that you've plead guilty, I'll throw
you onto the mercy o the court and let you off
on it. There's somethin' else, though. You
And Eli he stood up. net SO much s'prised as
coon nnE ldn SAYS the Squire did you eat that
"'Well, no, Squire. I didn't SAYS he,
scroochip' a little. = Jest only tried it out and
bottled the grease for = Aunt Hammer who has
:" There amt no doubt, Ell. but what you're
lyin.' says the Squire, but hain't got no proof
on it. So I'll give you the benefit o the doubt,
says he. 'Gabc, you've charged this t'other cul.
pr,t o, eatln. coon an that's e. = clear Ease Q,
you for ten shillin'r says he.
" See, hero, you Squirrel says Reub, jump.
way you handle ejectmentsT says he. III op,
peal this here case conssrn you. I'LL you'll Wish
" Appeal and be durned!' says the Squire.
This courts adjourned, and it's goin' a'ashin :,
SSow. my idee o. coon and coon huntin' ain't
SO searchin' as the Squire's, and 30 | says to
"'Why. man aliyel' l says. The fellow that
sot on the stump skinnin' the coon didn't steai
In tho first place, Uncle Jonas hadn't ought
III tell you why. At one time in his life there
might have been them that could cut more
buck wheat or dig more taters durin' q season
than Uncle Jonas. but as a sheep pelt buye
he was clear at the top o the heap. He had
business. and then he furRot himself 30 iur as tt
git II into his head that unless he got 10 be
more than a couple o year at tho bost. and s.
he quit sheep peltin' and tried fur Sheriff. Hi.
Teller citizens pulled more wool over his eyes;
guess, than there was on all the sheep pelts III
had ever bought and sold, for when the votes
was counted Uncle Jonas WAS bowed d0wf
with sorrow over the dark future his country
had before her, for the highest he got 10 b,
Sheriff was twenty votes. He had poured fOrtl
on the altar of his %sufferin' country all TIN
money he had made In sheep peltin', and Others
hayin' took up the calm, sheep peltin' wal
bein' considerable overdone jest then. 81
Uncle Jonas took off his cOat and pitched in t.
make himself a hcnefactor OF his Teller man by
doctcrin' hOller horn In cattle and pip in chick
ems, but them ailin's not turnin' up pcrtic'laI
plenty, he Settled down 10 s~niffics In sheep, and
took to peddlin' medicine for 1t here and ther
through the country.
Uncle Jonas, says ], I don't sec why a maj
ought to be tarred and feathered lest fer settin
on a stump an skinnin' IA coon. not unless Ii,
stole it, | says. Did he steal itl'
"'Not as / knows on, saws Uncle Jonas. 'Th,
coon hain't got nothin' TO do with It, says no.
Then he told me. Pears he was travellin
along. peddlln' his snif1es In sheep medicine
and he COM to a clearin' where a great biz
Teller sot on a stump skinnin' a coon. Uncl'
Jonas pulled .up his horse and says:
"''Hullo. neighbor.' no says. What clearin
"'This is the Wilder Huldah Ann clearln',
says the Teller, kecpin' right on with his cool
skinnin'.
lit Is. hey2' says Uncle Jonas. is thcr
any chance u my seem the wldderF says he,
The Teller looked up from his coon skinnin
/ kind o GRIMM, and says:-
: ',Bo you "A toler'ble good MeThodistf says he,