davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-09-29
COMFORT FOR THE SEALS.
Daily shower from Hose Pipe
That Gives the sportive AMI.
mails Great Enjoyment.

Through the winter the water in the
pool of the West Indian seals at the
aquarium was kept raised to tenn
perature that would make it safe and
agreeable for them, and daily Incl
dent in the care of the seals consisted
in the warming of their beds. The seals
sleep on stone platform, which is
raised few inches above the level of
the water at one end of the pool. As
the time approaches for them to climb
out of the water the stones were
warmed by playing hot water upon
them for time from hose. The stones
were thus made warm and comfortable
at the outset, and after the seals had
settled down upon them they kept
them warm with the heat of their
bodies.
The water used in winter was
hot and the seals kept away from it
while it was running. AS the warmer
weather came on water not so hot was
used, though it is still necessary to
raise the temperature of the water in
the pool above that of the water Of
this latitude, for these seals in nature
are accustomed always to warmer wa
ter than they would get here, and the
stone bed also is still warmed up for
them. But with the water not so hot
they began climbing up on the stone
platform while the hose was still play
ing, and sometimes the hose was
turned upon them. They enjoyed this
nightly, and now daily part of the
seals programme is to come up on the
platform and have the hose played on
them, and they would lie there thus for
hours if the man with the hose would
keep it going that long.
They come up generally one at a
time, the smaller seal usually first.
1t stretches itself upon the stone and
the playing upon it is begun. It is a
gentle stream of temperature of about
IS degrees. 1t is played all over the
seals body, and sometimes the seal
turns over so as to bring all parts of
it's body under the water. It enjoys this
bath immensely, and the flow of water,
which serves also to warm the stones,
is kept up longer than is needed for
warming purposes to prolong the en-
joyment of the seal.
After awhile the first seal rolls out of
the way or the other seal comes and
crowds it out. The last seal rolls in
under the slightly overhanging coping
around the top of the pool, which has
curve that happens just to fit it, and
rubs it's back, maybe, while the water
is playing upon it's sides. What higher
comfort could be imagined! And it
rolls over after awhile so that the hose
can be played all over it, and drops it's
head on the stone and lies there and
enjoys itself. And if the man with the
hose should divert the stream for a
moment the seal raises it's head and
looks around as if to say:
Eli, there! What's the matter with
that Water?"
And when the water has been finally
turned off the seals lie there and 20
to sleep.-N. Y. Sun.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-09-29
A SMALL Boys SCHEME
He Had an Idea About Eggs Which
Promised Splendid Result to
His Mind.

. A small boy who is not familiar with rural
ways was taken by his fond mamma for a
brief stay in the country.
On farm in a neighboring county he
waxed fat and sunburnt, and picked up a
wondrous store of astonishing experiences
One day the farmer smilingly said to his
mother:
Gust ask your boy what he hid two eggs
in the stable for?"
So the very first opportunity the mother
said to the six-year-old:
my dear, what did you do with those eggs
you took from the hen house,"
"Oh, mamma" replied the boy, Il didn't
want you to know about it."
"Why, it's all right, said mamma, II only
want to know what my boy did with them"
II hid them in the stable" said the little
fellow
"And what for?"
",Cause it's my scheme
"'Your scheme? And what is your
scheme?"
,@..Why, you see, mamma" said the little
philosopher, "when eggs is horned in
chicken house they is always little chickens,
an fink if they was horned in stable dey
might be little horses!"
1t is needless to add that up to the time
of his leaving the farm the miracle was still
unaccomplished.- Cleveland Plain Dealer
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-09-29
"Death Mankv Makers

There are at least two men in London
who hold something like an artistic
monopoly in the taking of death masks
casts in plaster or wax-from the
faces of dead people of Importance, and
one of these has over 100 such casts. all
relating to celebrities alone. The usual
fee for performing this grewsome duty
is 20 guineas, and the artist usually re-
tains the original cast, or sells it to one
of half dozen morbid persons who
give goodly sums for additions to their
collections of death Masks" The pub
lie would be surprised to know what a
great number of these casts are nova
days taken among the wealthy and
the notable, for, of course, they are
of some Importance and use afterward
to sculptors and painters who may
have commissions to represent the dead
persons. The biggest English private
collection Of death masks, including
those of criminals, is that of Bristol
ship owner. London Answers. .g.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-09-29
Paying the Fiddler.

Mrs. Newlywed- was just six
months ago to-day, love, that you asked
me to be your wife-but, Horace-why
do you grow pale and tremble?
Mr.. Newlywed (gasping feebly)-
Why, that dod-blasted six months note
I gave for the engagement ring will be
due day after tomorrow, then! I'd
forgotten all about it!-Puck.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-09-29
The Martyred Teachers.

In a parliamentary blue book con-
tanning the annual report of the COM
missioners of national educa ton, and
signed by these august personages, the
following It'd bit may be read: "Thc
female teachers were instructed in
plain cooking. They had, in fact, to go
through the process of cooking them
selves in turn.'-London Spectator.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-09-29
His Importance.

81 suppose" said Mr.. Meekton's wife,
shat you attach great deal of i'm
portance to YOURSELF
''No," he answered with conciliating
gentleness, 81 don't go on attaching
great deal of Importance to my
self now. There's no need to. l did
that when 1 married you, Henrietta
Washington Star.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-09-29
Potato Buns.

Pint of -four, half pint of sugar,
one egg, one cup of currants, half a
cup of butter, large potato. First boil
and mash the potato and then add
the other ingredients, using enough
milk to make stiff biscuit dough. Roll
out and cut in squares and bake.-N.
Y. Ledger. - s --f*>E. a.. ..
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-09-29
A Curious Tax.

A curious tax or the childless has
been resorted to,ain Madagascar in
order to keep up the now waning pop
ulation. With the beginning of next
year, every man of25 years who is not
a father of a child, whether legitimate
or illcgitimate,, will have to pay an
annual tax of three dollars: while
single or childless young women over
rs years will have to pay half that
amount.-Philadelp Press.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-09-29
How He Went.

II do hope you are soldier" she
said. 49,
well he replied, guardedly, 81
went to the war" Il"
: As that Seemed to satisfy her, he
really did not see the necessity of add
ing that it was with the commissary
department. Chicago Post.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-09-29
ShOuld Strike.

Beebaw-No day set apart for re-
joicing over our victory can be really
general holiday, unfortunately.
Billiamson-So? For whom, then
isn't it a general holiday?
Beebaw-Well, fireworks, you know
IN. Y. World.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-09-29
He. Got Her.

"Humph!" growled the multi-mil-
lionaire, $50 you want my girls hand,
do you? Have you lots of enterprise"
"Well,'' retorted the hard swain,
''Tm after the only daughter of just
about the richest and meanest man in
these parts."-N. Y. World.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-09-29
His Way of Doing 1t.

And He walked over the waters"
said the Sundayschool teacher. "Now,
none of you boys can walk over the
waters"
II can, MISS" said one Oliver, hold
ing up his hand.
Nonsense" said the teacher.
"Yes, can, MISS" said Oliver, earn
estly. $50 can you if you go BIZ the
BRIDGE Sketch.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-09-29
THE BIG SEAS LIFTED HIM.

flesh and nerves; and presently he
found what he was seeking-a crevice
through which he could thrust his
fingers. When his hand was fixed fast
III the jagged hole the light deepened
and softened in Alastair's face.
This is good; this is better,'' he
whispered, THAN the open sea - and
still this will not hurt my own folk,
for this rock is not Ronaldshay ..
Kind, kind, after all, are you, sea o.
me; kinder than I dared hope you'd
be-" And now big wave lifted him
softly and turned him over on his
face, still anchored to the rock by his
right hand. The weight of the cross
on his back pressed him down an arms
length-no more; and then the sea,
that he had loved, very gently took the
soul of Alastair MacAlastair to itself.
At long last, fishermen from the
island of Ebay found him, still bound
tc his cross.
Though they were afraid to take tho
drowned lad aboard their boat, lest
they should suffer in their herring har-
vests, they towed cross and all ashore
with them, and buried cross and all i'm
their windy hill graveyard, where lie
those few men of Ebay that the sea
has not drowned.
And the story of the Cross-Alastair
is a woeful story in the North isles
to this day.-Black and White.
Two Prime Bulls.
There is a story told in journalistic
circles in Dublin of beautiful display
of cuteness by farmer who called at
one of the newspaper offices to have an
advertisement inserted. He was in
formed that the charges were IS. for
the first insertion and Is. Cd. for the
second. Faith, thin," said he, "Pll
have it in the second toime." Here
are two comical "bulls,' due to the
Celt's lightning rapidity of thought:
us it son or daughter your sister,
Mrs. Healy, has got?" asked gentle
man of one of his tenants whom he met
on the road. 'SThe curse of the crows
on me, but I don't know whether I'm
an uncle or an aunt" was the imme-
date reply. was once present at re-
view of militia regiment in the south
of Ireland, when the sergeant major
came up and reported to the colonel
that all the ammunition was exhaust
ed. ''Then sound Cease fring,'"
roared the commanding officer.-Lon-
don Spectator.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-09-29
Taking Fearful Chances

Fuddy- Kwiverful, they say, is mar.
ried again. This is his fourth wife.
Duddy-Kwiverfu ID better be care
full. He'll get caught some day.
Fuddy-Get caught?
Duddy-Yes; he'll marry woman
who will live.-Boston Transcript.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-09-29
BRAVE HARRY MACNEAL.
How the Young Marine Stgnalized
Himself at the Battle
of Santiago.

Harry L. MacNea is Philadelphian
He is the marine who, at the imminent
risk of his life, placed himself in the
fire of the enemy at the destruction
of the Spanish feet to dislodge A
damned cartridge from one of the
starboard six-pounder guns, and who
was highly praised for his bravery in
the report of his commander, which
was reiterated by Commodore Schley.
Up to the time of his enlisting in
the marine corps MacNeal lived with
his parents in the house where he was
born, at 721 North Forty-frst street.
this city. His father, Charles B. Mac
Neal, had this to say about his son:
"Harry is still a mere boy, although
always of a size and build remarka BILE
for his years. When I read in the pa
pers of his bravery I was proud of
him, but I can't say that I was sur
prised, for he has always been a coura-
geous lad and was forever wanting to
go to sea.
''Why, he enlisted three years ago,
when he was only II. He did it with
out my knowledge. and yet his pro-
portions were such that the enlisting
officials took it for granted that he
was over 21. His mother wanted me
to take him out. but knew that would
be useless, and that he would simply
run away and enlist again. Now I'm
glad let him stay. He is very modest,
and although we have had several let
tiers from him since the battle not one
mentioned his brave deed, so that the
first we knew of it was from the
papers.
HE has always been full of animal
| spirits, and sometimes was mischiev-
Gus, but always generous and kind and
honest and brave. An Irish bla cksmith
over here said to me to-day that Harry
was so strong he used to steal the
smiths anvil from the shop. 4 used
to want to kick im,' he said, but now
when he. comes home I'll be after hug
GIN him."
MacNeal comes of fighting stock.
His ancestors are from Lancaster
county on his fathers side and from
Chester on his mothers. The family
was represented in the revolution and
the war of 1912. MacNeal's maternal
grandfather fought in the Mexican
war and his father is veteran of the
civil war-Philad e1nhia prase
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-09-29
Two Victims of Conceft.

Edith-Harry is the most copceited
man ever met.
Ethel-What makes you think so?
''Why, he first asserts that am the
most adorable woman in the world,
the most beautiful, intellectual, and in
every respect a paragon, and then he
wants me to marry him!"-Tit-Bits.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-09-29
Not an Impres.ionable Man,

She Tin business for herself) -"Doyou
think you can learn to love me?" He
"a deputy sheriff)-"Oh, some day
may have an attachment for you."-
Philadelphia Record. -s+ -'-s
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-09-29
The Whirligis of Time.

II heard quite compliment for
you," said the young woman. "A
friend of mine who heard you speak
in Washington said you had wonder
full presence"
"Well,' answered Senator Sorghum,
rather gloomily, "thirgs go by fits and
starts in this life. They're predicting =
noteworthy absence for me in a yesr
or so."-Washington Star.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-09-29
After Two Weeks.

Smile Halo, Chinner! How are
you? I've missed you these two weeks.
Where have you been hiding yourself?
Chinner- Imade up my mind to let
my wife have the last word for once.
Smillie-Well?
Chinner-She just got to it ten min
utes ago!-N. Y. Truth.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-09-29
The Power Of Passes

''You hypnotic man by making
passes, don't you?"
SWELL, I have known railroad off,
GERS to hypnotize legislators by max
Ing passes."-Town Topics.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-09-29

Enraged Parent-What! Not marry
my daughter? Why, sir, you have sat
with your arm about her hour after
hour.
The Young Man-Yes, that was to
keep her from singing.-The Gentle
woman.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-09-29
Must he a President.

do you know when old Gotrox first
came here he was too poor to buy a
ticket and had to walk?''
Eyes, and now he's too rich to ride on
a ticket and has to ride on pass
St. Louis Post-Dispatch.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-09-29
Habits of Snakes,

City Boarder with numerous prog.
s sey9o tn there any snakes around
Jersey Farmer-Only around the
fruit trees, mum!- IN. Y. Weekly.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-09-29
A Girl of To-day,

Father-But, my dear, thought you
had promised to marry that young
gentleman.
Daughter-Oh. no, papa. only said
he could be engaged to me if he wanted
to.-Philadelphia Inquirer.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-09-29
Giving Mamma a Hint

Little girl of four, standing en-
tranced before the window of toy
shop: "Oh, mother, if you was my
little girl, wouldn't I take you in and
buy you some of those lovely things!"
-Tit-Bits.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-09-29
COnEenial Labor

Mrs. Chinn-How can you be working
at your business and still be needy?
Wraggers-Me bizniz is dat Nv col
lector, Teddy.
Mrs. CHINA collector?
Wraggers- De world owes
everybody a livin', mum, an I'm tryin'
ter collect mine-Judge.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-09-29

Drainby (waking suddenly)-Oh!
Maria, I've had such frightful night
mare.
Mrs. D. with wifely SYMPATHY
I'm! Been dreaming you were living IN
world where there was no whisky, I
suppose.-Ally Sloper.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-09-29
A Sure Thing.

TIL -e's this about clearinghouse
We ought not to forget,
Come veal or woe, each meal we know
Just what we're going to get.
IL. A. w. Bulletin.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-09-29

But he did not reply. He gasped for
breath, and the hostess, appearing at that
moment on the scene, DETECTED the line of
conversational. Y. Sun.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-09-29

Jeweler-Narrower and lighter wedding
rings are fashionable Why do you want
one so broad and heavy?
Customer-We expect to move to North
Dakota after the wedding. Jewellers
Weekly.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-09-29
y{iflt aElkl;z'|saS'1Eja y

According to Promise.
I'D like to have this shoe mended, y
said the customer, hurriedly removing
it from his foot and looking at his
watch.
Yes, sir" replied the shoemaker.
Have it ready for you about four
o'clock this afternoon"
This afternoon? Your sign says:
Shoes repaired while you watt and I
expect to wait for it,
'All right, sir. If you want to wait
here, rather than at home, I've no OBJ
lection. You'll lind late novel over
there on that table. "-Chicago Tribune.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-09-29
The New Possessions,

Hooray for our conquest far over the sea:
Its glory-with rapture I tell it;
Its name has a music which fills me with
glee,
Though I cannot pronounce it or spell It,
Washington Star
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-09-29
A Good Annette Secured

Blinks (at the ferry)-Hello, jsnks
where you been?
Jinks-Been spending a couple Of
weeks in the country. Got board IN a
farm for eight dollars a week.
Blinks- don't say so. How do
you feel?
Jinks-Hungry as a bear.-N. Y
Weekly.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-09-29

The expense of repairing tire punctures
should be added to our income tacks.-L. A.
w. Bulletin.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-09-29

There's something crooked about the bust
ness of a corkscrew manufacturer.-Ch Chicago
Daily News
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-09-29
He Didn9f Guoaa

"WeAl," said the enthusiastic new
uncle, as he peeped into the crib, II
suppose. you'll call it Dewey, of
course?'
No." said the baby's proud papa,
"we've selected a better name than
that"
"Oh, Hobson or Schley, I presume?' ~
Neither. We are going to call it
Blanche, after it's mamma '-Chicago
Daily News.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-09-29
Getting at the Facts.

"This coffee has its good qualities as
well as it's bad points," remarked the
dyspeptic boarder as he called for a
second cup.
"Indeed?" queried the landlady.
"Yes," he continued; "the best that
can be said about it is that it contains
no chicory.''
"And its worst point?" asked the
landlady.
rs that it contains no Coffee" was
the ungallant reply.-Chicago Daily
News. It
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-09-29

Another pugilist gone wrong dead
Buffalo Times.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-09-29
twas Alway.I Thu..

An old lady, hearing somebody say
the mails were very irregular, said:
1T was so in my young days; no trust,
ing any of 'em."'-T it Bits,
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-09-29

""1 Je1s 70 S17e d Pal ", MIS-
Hooligan."
''Yez, Mrs. Mulligan, am, and I've
been everywheres tryin' ter get some
of that pink tea ye reads so much
about, and the aignorant, unstylish
tings kape nothin' but the old-fash-
toned green.''-N. Y. Truth.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-09-29
Making Them Useful,

There are too man. people who use their
friendsas coaling ADMINISTRATION (Kan.)
Globe
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-09-29
Had Bet the Other wax-

The soprano has married the basso,"
said the baritone.
Then I've lost tenner," groaned
the organist. Chicago Tribune.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-09-29
Lanruages Sbolen n Bra.il

a. In Brazil there are said to be 300
languages and dialects spoken by the
Indians. 4. s.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-09-29

He-l've always been lucky in love!
She-And still unmarried?
He-O, that's the proof of my good
luck!-Der Floh.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-09-29
wa.teful Extravarance.

Women who have to pay to get their
hair curled are not apt to have it done
B en- q rainy day. #s=
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-09-29
Az Viewed by Spectators.

Az Viewed by Spectators.
That's q wedding or funeral, without
much doubt,
But which of the two it is can't make
out"
Its little of both, sir. The undertaken
| Is marrying the daughter Of the tombstone
maker"
Chicago Tribune.
The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1898-02-04
cuRINa ECON.
ras Day Process Produces a excellent Az

The nry Process Proauoea rs r4ealiaet
aala
Ihe dry process of converting pork
into bacon makes an excellent ARTICLE.
sweet and 6rfn Everyone Knows now
Inherent Is the taste 81 fresh dry sale
nom chat II SALT Eat dissolved state.
After the carcass af 6ig h8a baa been
divided. place the pieeas of 89rk in-.
The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1898-02-04
EARMER AEnH
coLn CIV eolLs.
- ~ ~ = ~ rs.as q

KOS TArr nay Is aaaa FERTILE are
Faiasale
Pr bsHrt uf hnsdiDs5 ufE, Kys5
sn9lf nos 70 AsfHl4M Lulu
soil viii e9H Fsss Ihafe given Hta
Subject much thought aHd practical
apartment tor st feaHs. Ha78 rsad ai1
4 could find - tHs egH pen ard
Natehed othet6 experiment saith theae
peas Mf. Beard win dnd ii. fi4a Year
The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1898-02-04
Hewnre ~ aimtHents for DatarrH
rhat Contain Mercury

as meFcptv will surely destroy the sense 1t
smell and completely derange tile hole
tenn when entering Il through the mucous
sarlaces such articles should never 9e
used except on prescriptions from reputable
physicians, as the damage they VIII do ~
oflen ten fold 10 the good yo1 can possibly.
aariTe from them HALLS GataITh Cure
manufactured ut il 3. Cheney &Gq3 Ioied9r
0., contains ne mercury, and IS taken inter.
hallF aetiaR directly upon the blooa and
mneoln s~uriacea HI the system ln bnytlg
HAN Gat8rfh Cure be sure you get the gem
uine tt Is taken internally, and made
Toledo 0hio, BIZ Z ] Cheney x Go. ies
monials free
5y Drnpgis price l5epeT bottle.
Hall Family Rills are the best