davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1898-04-07
A NEW SPEED RECORD.
1t Was Made by the Rochester, Minn.,
Fire Department.
ICOnHri9ht 1893


A new fire department speed record
has been made by the firemen of Roch-
ester, Minn., which is likely to stand
first for some little time. 1t is possibly
true that at the competitions in which
the fire companies participated this
record has been lowered. but the Eoch-
ester tiremen made their run at regu-
iation fire, and the timing thereof was
an accident. This time, which is des-
tined to become famous. is 70 seconds
from the moment the alarm was struck
in until water was thrown from the
nozzle at the end of the line of hose.
1t SO happened that this department,
OF which John Boylhart is chief, has
NO engine to bother with, for the water
power has sufficient force to throw a
stream over the highest building in he
place, rendering an engine unnecessary.
The other day the alarm struck in
just as member of the Rochester police
force stepped into the firehouse.
The happy thought struck tlls police
man of timing the run. and so, without
saying anything to the fremen. he
noted the exact moment when the bell
sounded, and started at once for the
scene Of the Are, three blocks distant.
Within 70 seconds from the time the
policeman looked at his watch, the
stream OF water was playing on the
fire. This is what Chief Boylhart has
to say concerning the event:
"1n regard 10 that run of ours. I
should like to have it understood that
it was not trial run to see what time
we could make. but a straight fire
alarm; and the distance was three
blocks. or little more. from the en-
gine house. The time, from the sound
ing of the bell until we were throwing
water. was just one minute and ten Sec
cnds.
"You see, we have been making good
time right along. and people have been
so kind as to think that we are un-
usually speedy: so considerable inter-
est has been taken in our performances.
Nevertheless. we have not sought for
records. but merely acted on the prin-
ciple that should actuate every fireman
that the quicker the time he makes
:he better is he performing his duty.
"Thus it is plain that the time re-
corded was simply what we considered
business run. Naturally. we are
much aided in making speedy time by
the fact that it is unnecessary for us
to nave an engine. and that our wagons
are of AS light build as possible and
our teams spirited.
''To me. however. it ali seems to dem
orstrate that, while fire competitions
are unquestionabIy good things to ad-
vance the efficiency of fire departments
in general, if some of the records real
" made in the course of fireman's or
dlnarv duties were given. the prize runs
would not be so h ighly rated as they
are now"
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1898-04-07

! right up and told some of the might
lest lobster lies ever heard in America.
That was one of his lies published in
Philadelphia paper, about a lobster
waillin' ashore on Cat island and
seizin' yearlin' colt belongin' to
Deacon Spooner. Moses said he saw
the hull performance from his boat,
and that the screams of the colt made
his blood run cold. He took reporter
down to the island and showed him
the airth all torn up, and pieces of
hide lyin' around. and the story brung
him in $40 in cash and restored his
prestige among us. The colt was over
on Catfish marsh all the time, but the
story went jest the same.
Moses Parker had been in Sauan
Creek fur six months, and was hevin'
things all his own way, when one day
he was took with bilious collie. He
lust pain struck him he got skeert and
said to his wife:
Lucy, I'm marked fur death and
you'll be widder afore night. It's
all on account of my lyin'.''
But L never knowed you to lie," seq
she.
I've done nothing but lie fur the last
SIN months. and now Providence is
arter me. If l die with ali these 5000
whoppin' big lies on my soul 1 won't
go within a thousand miles of Heaven.
Don't We think I'd better call in sum-
body and confess?''
His wife thought he had, and she run
fur the preacher. By the time she
got back with him Moses was al!
doubled up with pains and thought he
hadn't but half an hour to live When
lie said he wanted to confess to his
iyin the preacher speaks upand sez:
Il shouldn't be too hasty if l was
yo.. You hev worked hard to build un
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1898-04-07

York papers about a gigantic lobster
feizin nay skitf and upsettin' it in ney-
port bay?"
i dew, and was that one y your
lies""
1T was-one O my small ones"
Then you'n certainly do fur the up
per crust of high society here" seq
Ephrlam. as he s,aps his leg. ''Tha,
was a bewtiful lie-a bew,iful lie.
hanged If it didn't deceive all the liars
In Squan Creek. Yes. that's all right,
put l must AK ye furder Hevin' once
Told lie do ye stick to it right a.ong?''
"Allus"
yer boat got upset and ye was
orlftln' around, would ye own up?"
Never! I'd drift clean across the
ocean before Id give up"
Spose We was took sick and thought
ye was goin' to die?'
1t would be jest the same. Indeed.
! oe'leve should think up bigger lie
70 tell. | amt 10 man to brag onto
hlmself, but when | go back on the
leputashun of my colonial forefathers
ioihs OF Sqian creek KIN ride me
outer town on rail"
inen Ephriam felt that Moses was
aii right, and he clasped him in his
arms and welcomed him to Squan
.feek lie was introduced to all the
,oiks' paid fur all the drinks, and every
ooos was glad we had a lobster liar
a'nohg us. We had the best kind a.
nafs about oysters. CLANS. sharks.
whales and crabs, but nobody had
'ae specially of lynn aboat lob
Moses was told to begin Mon
mornln'. and he didn't need ne
ouoin up about it. He Jest got off
1A oi tae sleekest. fattest lies we
listened TO, and it was voted that
4. n Vas all right and an ornyment to
sae upper crust.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1898-04-07
Perfectly SiI.,Dle

II didn't see you at the ball last
evening, Miss Hicks"
''It would have been one of the mir
acles if you had"
"Why SOP
81 wasn't there"-Harlem Life,
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1898-04-07

"Your son is an actor, you say, Mr.
Nj. s.9innis?"
Faith he is''
And what role does he p!ay?"
Rolls. is it? Faith, he rolls up the
curtain. ."-Tit-B Bits.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1898-04-07

William Ann-Hear you have new
baby at your house: is it boy or a
girl?
Chappie-How should I know: they
haven't named it yet.-Harlem Life
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1898-04-07
Knows His Business,

Whom first we love we seldom wed.
The reason, If you please,
Is Cupid has level head,
And must have bresd and cheese,
Chicago Record.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1898-04-07
Test of Feminine Character.

Mrs. Budds-Mrs. Cromer is woman
of remarka bic strength of mind
Mrs. Judds-Is she?
Mrs. Budds-Yes. She never buvs
anything she doesn't want.-Odds ard
Ends
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1898-04-07
He Had Heard 1t Before.

Borer-Why don't you laugh? don't
believe you appreciate the story!
Newitt-On the contrary. l have al
ways said that it was al excellent story.
Fort Wrangel news., 1898-08-10
KEY WEST, FLORIDA.

off. Later, the dogs sneaking and sore-cyel. and more numerous than any other species take up tie refrain. There lS q strange mixture of races at Key West but the negroes are the most patriotic class. They alone celebrate Fourth of July md other national holi- days While the town has Its enlight- ened and respectable people. Ii also has r; shoddy class whose ignorance of thr Pest of the world carries them to grutcsdue extremes fin their efforts To proclaim their crcatness. Even in Its schools, key West Is peculiar. The schoulhouscs are built like ciElr fac tories. and each has mounted upon the roof the bell of an old locomotive. When the school bells are ringing 1t Is easy to cloae your eyes and imagine yourself in oae of the great railroad de- pots ot the North. The classes are large. thr teachers have constant struggle with the climate, so the schol- ars have time to make pea-shooters nod other instruments Of torture for the unsrspecting visitor who falls into their ambush.
 If the teachers have hard time, the clergy have q worse one. The churches are much-ahus,l Institutions with large patronage and IneaGre support.
 Men that smoke presume that cigars are manufactured in Key West but thare Is another source of Income of scarcely less importance. Any unfor- tunate ship that ventures into port is considered legitimate prey, ard 1t Is a bold man that darcs to protest against the coniiscatlon of his property. When a ship Is seen approaching the reefs the greatest excitement prevails, and some people even fall on their knees to petition for her speedy destruction.
 If a vessel strikes she Is Immediately surrounded by a crowd of wreckerS who cling to her like flies to molaSses barrel. After there has been a wreck, storeleepeIS have money In their pock cts and do not care whether you buy of them or not. The proprietor of shop will stretch himself, yawn and finally saunter over toward his customer to find what Is wanted.
Fort Wrangel news., 1898-08-10

ners and opinions. of the old schooL Ills elaborate courtesy was Of the ele- ganL "palayering7 antique sort, and lt kept his head above water tn times when other old-sehoOl fellows went tD the bottom.
 It was nod many ycslrs ago thnt Mon sleur Daunassans was preteet Jt n de partment and stationed nt m impar- tant provincial town Just at that tine very radical ministry came Into bow es-an ultra republican government, which announced its intention to turn all conservative and 'rtactionlst'' func flonaries out of office. The Minister of the Interior was a particularly violent radical, with nO bowels of compassion for my who were suspected of mon archical opinions
 One of the first functionarie3 selected for sacrifice was Monsieur Dumas. sans It happened, however. that bis conservative opinions were not sd strrnIously held us to Incline hiin against holding office under q radical administration. When he wns sum moned to Parfs for dismissal, he went 10 the euhinet of the minister with his hat In his hand and his most complais- ant expression on his faca
 You are represented 10 me, sir, said the minister, 'ts hostile to our repub- ncan insutut!onan
 Monsieur Daunassans bowed very low, h the most graceful style of tho ancient gcntility.
 -I think, monsieur le mtnistre" be began, that may possibly prove my self worthy of your excellency's con hdence. If may be permitted to en- ter into certain details, 1t will be, fancy, within my power to demon. strate 10 yUur excelhncy-"
 IL was the first time that the new minister had ever been called 'yout eXcellency." He was Il man who bad sprung from the common people, and the phr1se, coming from c man Who seemed to know how 10 use It, was very pleasant to his CATS, Ills manner aoftened I~rceptihly. Daunassans went on with q long and flattering speech,
Fort Wrangel news., 1898-08-10

h which he had very little to say nboui his own politics. but in which the words your excellency'' occurred 6 great many times.
 After about thrpe-Quarters.o of an hom he ca1De out of the minister's cabinet He had been indeed removed from nj. prefecture, but he had been promoted to n better one! The minister's radicai friends were furious They went to him and sald:
 What. You have promoted this many Why. be Is the most aboIainahle of rcacti0nistsr"
 "W-well." answered the minister, as if recalled to himself, 'perhaps he's n reacuonist but tell you he's 0 mighty woll-bred man.
 All of which goes tD sbow-~hat tAe F1cnch have already found out to theiI sorrow-that it Is hard to make re- public without republicans-Youth's Companion
Fort Wrangel news., 1898-08-10

aud uhrre the men had to live; when the wood uIl the sails left from the wrccks had been built Into tuts for tho 2Gn men who had been wrecked. T!ltan started for civilization
 lie had 10 k!ll some uf his dogs fur foud au,l Ae had to Quench hls thirst by muSieniug his l.ps with q Ettle snow. He had two guides, m Eskimo md his wife. Coming over the glaciers the tr.o had tp he laShed together to avoid being separated in the bl!zIlul-. TArct tines Tllton was Ill bur frUzea. but the vigorous action of the Eskimo saved him. It took him uarly tive months to reach N. Michael where he mct Lieut.. Jarvis. of thc relief expedition.
Fort Wrangel news., 1898-08-10
The Etiquette of It.

An escaped criminal who had killed n friend In a quarrel wrote home from a distant city:
 Dear Tom-Tell the euvner ef bell pardon me I'll come home an' surren- der"
 The "Toms referred to was his broth CT, who replied as follows:
 "Dear Bill understand that the governor Is on q visit to your city at this writin'. You'd better call on him, send up yer card an interview him yerself,'
 The above brought this unique re sponse by postal card:
 .Dear Tom-I ain't callin' this year.
 It wouldn't be etiquette, seein' as I'm in mournin' for the friend I kllled.'- Chicago Times Herald.
Fort Wrangel news., 1898-08-10

gud in every battle they do effective work in clearing the guns, sweeping the decks and superstructuros, and picking off the officers and leading men.
 II is hazardous work. There ts an overhead shield but these and the bar hattcs give protection more hazardous rhHn real. There Is not much danger Of the mast falling. for it would take q wuIl-directed shot with big proiectlle to bring 1t down But If II did fall there would be q great crash and the damage would be great. IL would be rough on the men In the tops, who would come tumbling down to certain death Yet even if the masts do not come down. the men nrc in q dangerous position, being living targets for shot and shell. The thin plating affords pro lection against rifle bullet. but any thing larger would pierce 1t and end the lives Of the men behind the bHrbette.
Fort Wrangel news., 1898-08-10
DANGEROUS POST IN BATTLE.
Men In "Fighting fhp-- Are in a
 Position of Extreme TeriL

Men iu .fighfiug Tops Are Tn
 Position of Extreme TeriL
 The mea In the gratest danger dur us unvul engagement are thuse sta
 uned in thc military mIsta or 'tight. rs fops" el the big ships II K post I1u at cNtpmr peril The men sta aum thefr play hldr and srrk with Ulth during battle Exposed tn thc tr,.of tho. enemy with hut l!ftl prutvo- .lru. thr cAnuces ut their acslu reach- Ils Tho dcel, helow are extremely slim. There are slight harhrttes tehlud which rhc men crouch while lnadlus and lir- lue thclr guus. but these up' of hut iit- t.y practical uer In wariing o1 the lire at the enemy, and the smoke and hrat rt battle rising h the ulr make the s.t- uptiDn even more disaErvcaalr.
 Nlasts arp not uscd ea modprn battle ship to SuIIort sails. hut aS stations for fchting und to display signals. Fight ers Were stationed ln the tops hong h,- fore steam supplantrd sails. IL was d ~hnt from thc mlz1entop of the Re 1uuhtlhl, that put an end to Nelsun's h.Af III lAsA5 ltl''AHff##sA AA D fN NAA#i A'h'''7 hviore that they were used as n sta rlun for mark+lsea. Thc sailor nowa- s'uys do,snt have to climh thp mast r. k et stepl, uot wood. and ui great d.lnetrr .Arecss tn thr lighting tops is gained from the interior In the sane way ammunition k passed ID 10 H., men Who are doing the fighting in thr dangerous station
 These masts vary Grently in construc- tion some ships Indeed being without ric,u, and on others they Hrr mrrc sig nal polca But on the dg battle ships ttcy are elaborate afYairS S0me are equipped with an upper top fer the elcr- tric light, n peculiarly shaped edihce below tu enable thr,-' duick=dtiuG guns to he d!sehars,T riGhf ahead, and n species of coming tower below, from which the captain ean ovegS''e the smoke clouds, mad thus -,c ta dir,ct the movements on his slip iu aet!au. This 2yruing tower k not always present but all the battle ships bAYp three or stV pounder raHl1 ire guns. md elcc- t~ic HIht projectors and onn or two lt@hter machine guns ia addition Ihrse c1lus are supported hy expert EUunerA
Fort Wrangel news., 1898-08-10
nrninattst Gilhcr,,s Joke

The following smart example of reuartee Is attributed to ". x Gil,a71t- The d.@rlatist was at an even.tfg party. ana chauced Q be standing tIar~h,sld- cd ln the hail. when g1,'St, departing in hurry. u!stoaA him for waiter.
 Call me . fou9-whcelor, will you, !" said he.
 Sir ro7l'cd me ready on-,ng of ''The Mikado" and q rounl dozen other GreraS, ''yoG are ] f0ur-whecler."
 The guest WIS staTtlel by t,is reply.
 "W4y," hn exclaimed, what tht>-''
 But Mir. Gilbert Interrupted him with an elaborate pretense al apology. II couldn't call you hanson, you know, could r."
Fort Wrangel news., 1898-08-10
FUNNY OLD TOWN.
Some of the Many Amusing Features
 of Key West.


 Key West K one Of the oldest and funniest towns Tn the United States. l. Is made up of lunumerable little wooden houses without chlmncys. but crowded In irregular groups. Many of the houses hnve wooden shutters in place of glass windows On most of the str.cts there nrp no sidewalks but people stumble over the jnggpd edges of coral rock. Tn natives who wear shoes ridc ln carriages There are n great number of public vehicles, and one ean be hailed at uny corner and en- gagged for 10 cents. Some of these car riages are quite respectable Tn appear nnce They nrr generally double seat ed affairs which huve been discarled in the North. The horses are wreeks and they show ny their appearance tAat fodder is dear and that they are Bot half fed- One of the sounds of Key West k the Whacking of the horses which draw the carriages and the mules which move the street cnrs from place to place. The stnct cars look as If they had been dug Up from the neigh horhooI uf the pyramids. Ropes are Gsed for reins and the only substantial tAiuE about the whole outfit Is the great nwhi1e whip, with which the street car driver lahors necessarily. The peO- ple, as n rule, are opposed 10 excessive eXcitlan but they nuke an exception Tn the case of labor with n whip.
 The town has one struggling newspa- Der, which k worthy of q better sup port The climate. of which much has been written, ia too good to be wasted, and therp are traditions against exces- sive mental effort by either the makers 1r the readers of newspapers. Hun drods of dogs, cats. ruosters, goats md ''rl2orbacis' run at large through the stNrets, anl the three former combine to make the night hideous. Tn the ear ly evening the sound of negro meetings and juhilatious predominates. Then the eats begin where the shouters leave
Fort Wrangel news., 1898-08-10
Ancient Scales Discovered.

A pair of scales much Ike thusp of the modern pharmacists Is among the multitude of objects discovered this year in excavations about thirty miles from Thebes and recently exhibited in London. The scales are finely finished, having beam about four and one-half inches long, with a ring at each end of the three cords, and the pans, about the size of an English penny, are slightly convex
Fort Wrangel news., 1898-08-10
Wool from Persia,

Persian wool is going to Russia.
 France and the United States Our lm- port of that commodity Is made via Marseillcs. A small portion only Of that clipped from the millions of sheep in the country Is used there, am that goes for manufacture of carpets. The chief centcTs of carpet manufactDrles are Suntanabad, Korassan, Chiraz and Kurdistan. one house In Suntanabad employing more than 10000 workmen.
Fort Wrangel news., 1898-08-10

Rcaario. n schooner. md from four oth- rr Ysss,ls form thc colony on the son Morse islands They Wcre The ships caught Ia tac young lee" or ro,uf EGrafw
 When the ships crrUs had hcvn ro-- rucl from tar lee tllit crushed the y,s- rcl<. when thc provisions had with ln- finite labor been transported to the isl-
Fort Wrangel news., 1898-08-10
FRENCH POLiTENESS.
Use of Old Time Courtesy Brought Pro-
 motion for Frcnchman.

Tn France. at the present day, the great majority of the people are ardent republicans in opinion, but they are also great admirers of the sort of cour tesy which is associated with tle an- cien regime-the old-time gentility.
 There lately died in that country q certain Monsieur Daunassans, who was fine representative, h his man.
Fort Wrangel news., 1898-08-10

Clara" said the mother of a little & year-old miss, who was entertaining n couple of neighboring girls of her own age, ''why don't you play something in- stead of sitting still and looking miser- able?" "Why, mamma, we Is playin'," was the reply; "we's playin' that we's grown-u up womens. "-Montreal Herald
Fort Wrangel news., 1898-08-10
Murders the Oyetes.

This is the wicked "borer' that has already murdered thousands of oysteri in Long Island waters and threatened us many more. The oyster men call
Fort Wrangel news., 1898-08-10
Americas Oyster Product.

Of the 35,000,000 bushels of oysters consumed throughout the world every year, this country supplies 30,000,000 bushels
Fort Wrangel news., 1898-08-10
THE BoRER AT WORK.

the borers drills and say that they are 0 lucky pest for them since, with out the destruction they work, the oys ter markets would be flooded and tn business become unprohtable.
Fort Wrangel news., 1898-08-10
ApaMsonC City IdNL

A Dawson City mining man lay dylns or
 thv ice, He d!du't hava woman nursas-hr diaat
 havr t!.o pr.er; But ,uG3radr kuclt lpSide him, ns the
 siu sank a rc;nse. To listen ta his aFiuc Uu7ls anl watch
 him Wh.le Lc tr,ze. IT." dy,ts utan proppnl up his head afs1Ye
 four rals uf suuU, And s.lil, T never s-Iw t thaw at Riaety-
 eight brl"v. Send tAis iittlc pinhcad nugget that l
 sNir,sl traAl Jasua bills To Iuy home you know, at lpeaiUoua, at
 peadWuol iu the hills. .'Ten my fssends anl tell my crf'1u'rs- il
 Yeu ey.e reach the East, That this Dawson City region ls Ho plac7
 for man UT teast; I7hat the llud's tuo elvratt-l and tAp w!nd
 tap awful cold. .Nnd thc Ills of Souch IAkota yield Us
 sac,l erade of gold; Tel uF sweetheart uot to worry with
 sarrDns too intense. For Tn Eo.aa tp WarIlHr and fur u,1Tt
 el.,erT leaee. Oh! tAe air is growing thicker, ana thase
 hreezes give ue chil,s, G,-o, wish was h peadwoud, il ps-a4l-
 w,4I il the hills. ''Tpu the fellows D the home lanh to ru-
 Iaaia aad have c,nch, That the rrie" If patent porkchu-,s kcEr
 !@ eighty crats 4a inch. That l sirak Us oae who's been hrre
 scratching round ro find th4 gold. And at lu fer cent of discount l eauld
 lot trg up cold. Now, s,~lone." h. fainuy whisIrra; "I
 have taid yau what to do." And he closed lis weary eyrlids a..! fr1zp
 solid !. l. q. His fr:eln!s pr"cafed m organ try and
 C. O. Id tie bills. And sent tie miner houe that night to
 DeadWfod in tie h1-A -DcadWood Pioneer. ..
Fort Wrangel news., 1898-08-10
bats My Ld'l' Boy,

Doan kecr how he ronpin' roun'- Fill de house wid Joy;
 I4e' m play en have his way:
 Oats my lfr boyl Co ter school twell holiday, ;. NVid his book en toy; Beats de lan',' de teacher say. | Oats my h'F boy!
 Nanny eittin' ofi I spec :. Soon she'll miss de joy :: Er his a'ms eroun' her neck; "S Good-by, li'l boy! es Chicago Times-Herald.
Fort Wrangel news., 1898-08-10
WAITING FOR RELIEF.
Whaler Officer Travels 2,OOO Miles to
 Bring Aid to Arctic Colony.

George Triton, third officer of the steam whaler Belyidere, travelled 2,0OO miles over snow and ice to bring aid to an Arctic colony. His companions and the crews of the Orea, a steam whaler, the !. II. Freeman, a steamer. and the
Fort Wrangel news., 1898-08-10

When people listen atteutiyeiy to story of a mans wrongs, 1t indicatea that they are wondering what the otb CT side of the story sounds like.
The Kootenai herald. [volume] (Kootenai, Idaho) 1891-1904, 1898-01-15

r-asoiItis os,tnri a.'rs''s' riyii-'.e
s1s' a'.ili's H''''c o'ir ~ 'i'e HHi''f
Fff'ns hHs"f feirf'ifr ae
Nnor ~ n'ih.i''ra iffc' i'a','f in'ifoo-
eh as's 'a os f't a''
81. a'fa aif'ee ffe
tre ro 'r HI'irs'e nno .
f'r'o''tf o .oe .'i'f" o.. tar ~
~ are 'nade wlfh .'r oo1F' Iae''c
tN to's e't'fe y ol a.i'hitaa'. oisef
"ta the foP NJ sarace ghe heeH ot