The Winslow mail., 1898-10-01
GO SLOW ON WIDOWS.
That Was the Piece of Good Advice
One Of Them Gave a Smart
Youny Nan.

A score of US were sitting in the
shade OF the depot building waiting for
the train, Which was an hour late,
when a yoke Of oxen attached to a
queer-looking cart turned the corner.
They were driven by q woman about 50
years Of age, who was barefoot and
wore mans straw hat.
'Git up thar, Buck!" she exclaimed,
as she laid the 'gad" onthe oil OK with
a rcsounding whack. You, thar,
Peter, what you skittishun round that
way fur? Whoa, now! Both of yous
stan still"
She turned them up to the platform,
threw down some hay taken from the
cart, and came up among US to inquire
OF the depot agent about a barrel of
salt. He was busy then and she was
waiting around, when the smart Alicll
of the crowd, who was travelling for q
wine house, remarked in tones meant
for her to oyerhear::
Il have always said if I married at
all, I'd marry a woman who could drive
oxen"
is that meant for me?" she asked,
as she walked straight up to him.
care you a widow, ma am?'
Il am. Bin a wilder ever since a
sawlog rolled over jim nine years
ago"
"And you'd marry again if you had
the opportunity, would you?"
Il would. When Jim lay a-dyin' in
the house he tcld me to marry agin if
I had a show"
"Ahem! see. Could you love Sec
ond husband?''
Il ccald. It runs in our family to
love. We begin airly and keep it up to
the grave. What's your proposition?
Tn a plain woman, full O. bizness, and
never do any foolin'. If you've got
anything to say, spit it right out afore
'em ALL
IL don't want to marry just now" "
he stammered.
Don't eh? Then what's the use of
gettin' me on my tiptoes about it
You man, you jest the same as asked
me to have you, and jest the same as
accepted you'll"
30! No, no! Imerely made some in
quiries!" he replied.
''Thc1 Inquiries was about love, sir,
and my hearts a-thumping away like
all git out! said I'd marry again, and
will. We are engaged. When do you
want me to be ready?"
Madam, you have totally misunder-
stood me-" explained the young man,
as he turned all sorts of colors and ap-
peared to grow small. 81 asked you a
few questions out Of curiosity"
"Mebbe the jury will call it curiosity,
and mebbe they won't she said, as
she set her jaw.
''They don't allow no foolin' round
in Posey county. When a feller goes
as fur as you hev it's a hitch or dam
ages. I'm a-tremblin' all over like a
girl, an my hearts a-tryin' to jump
out. It's regular love or don't know
the road hum. You don't leave here,
young man, till this case is settled"
"But, ma'am you see"
81 don't know nuthin' but marriage
or damages. You've asked me to have
you. said [ would. Will you marry
or settle?"
"How-how much ?" he gasped, as he
looked around and failed to find any
sympathy.
"Wall, Saginaw salt is dollar and a
quarter a barI," she replied, as she
glanced at a row of barrels down the
platform. 81 guess the oxen kin git
hum with two bar'ls. Make it two
and I'll call it squar'."
Everybody grinned except the young
man. He realized that he was done
for, and got out of the box by plank
ing down the $3.50 to the agent. The
cart was driven around to the spot
the barrels loaded up, and then the
woman came oack to the young man:
''I've settled this case, and the salt
is in the cart, and [ jest want to re-
mark that if you happen this way agin
and you happen to feel SO awfully cum
MIN that you can't hold yourself. you'd
better go slow on widders. Thar's Is
of Us round here, an we all drive yel-
Ter oxen hitched to carts. an we all
go b'arfoot in the summer and sigh to
get married agin. The reg'lar figger is
three bar'ls of salt and pound of tea,
but, owing to your youth and that
thunderst orm comm up, I've let you
off easy. Good-day, bub; good-day
all!'-N. Y. Herald.
~ .