Gulf Coast breeze. [volume] (Crawfordville, Fla.) 1897-19??, 1898-06-10
HUMOROUS.

Shells funny how Mrs. McPhatt
has made her way in society. He
Well, if had her weight I'd keep out
of society.
jones' married my wife month
after she accepted me. Brown--And
married mine three days after she
refused me.
She-I just enjoy seeing you smoke
a cigar. He-Realy? She Yes. it is
such change to have you puff some
thing else besides yourself.
Friend--I suppose you've had some
hard experiences? Returned Klon-
diker-Oh, yes! I've seen times when
we hadn't thing but money.
Miss Upton-I've just heard Miss
kails play at the musicale. She can
positively make a piano talk. De.
Witte-Can she make it moaopolize
the conversation?
pa" asked the little boy who had
been tackling statistics in tie daily
paper, chow does it come that most of
the whiskey and beer is drank 10y peo-
pie III the temperate zone;'
That's a picture of an honest man,
il / am any Judge of character"
Eyes; that's what l thought; but it
happens to be composite photo
graph Of the men who borrowed fvers
of me-.
Jink--My dear MacFuddle, it's the
very thing YOU want Charming house
lovely spot! Cheap, too. But one
great drawback. You can't get any
water there! McFuddle-Oh, that
doesn't matter
"What was that guy kicking about?"
asked the doorkeeper. IL couldn't
quite catch it where | was. "Said
he found a new joke on the program.
Wanted his money back before the
house fell down."
Hello, Spifins. | thought Won had
gone to the Klondike," said Snaggs.
1--WE changed my mind" 'Did your
wife object to your going?" Not at
all. | thought she seemed too willing,
and so | decided to remain at home"
Applicant Ito matrimonial AGENT
Can't you show me the photograph of
that lady with 500, coo who wants to
get married? Agent-Oh, now, with
such a dowry as that, You can imagine
how she looks, without photo ,raph.
Miler-.-Which is right, "s,op and
think or "stop to think" smith
stop to think" to be sure. You
might easily stop to think while YOU
were talking, but as to stopping and
actually thinking, that is another mat
ter.
The Young Keutuckian - Father.
little Jack Horner is the most ignorant
boy IN our class. Colonel Oldbrand--
Is he? The Young Kentuckian
indeed; the teacher asked today how
many gallons in barrel, and he didn't
know.
What beautiful specimen of in
laying! exclaimed the guest. Yes"
replied Mr. Cumrox, as he put his
hands behind and tiptoed complacent-
~ but that isn't anything. You
''ght 10 have seen the outlay it rep
fchchis."
ia" Cautious One-I wouldn't 90
}" the klondikc, Already more
money has gone in there than has
been taken out. The Sanguine One
~ ''h don't sayl Ii the place is get
'inR fiehcr like that, / think Iii go
ss s"on m ! eau.
Brpncho Pe,c-So Tarantnlo Tom
j. dead. an only 40 years old! That's
!, hat yer might call bein' cut down in
.hs "ime Nv life. Grizzly Grady
"a ."'' yer might call it that: but the
acts Nv The case wuz, he wuzn't cut
io"n I'LL he'd been dead for over a
seek.
iie-Tbey say wedding rings are
Ieihg ont Of fashion. She-Ob. I
l"'l carol II yuu wish 10 dis
''hSe with the rug, dear, il will make
10 difference. But why didn't YOU
ave ~" wnrningg ThRis so sudden.
'hd he thought Of home and mother.
'ut ~ was too late.