The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1898-06-16
Sforyetfes.
BY CASEY.

w hen the now famous Mr.. Cudahy
was superintendent of the Armour
Packing Plant in Chicago he caused a
placard to be posted directing every
body to be at their post ready to begin
work when the whistle blew. The very
next noon on passing through the
works to see how his order was obeyed
he saw old Mike O'TOOle sitting calmy
on wheelbarrow lighting his pipe af-
ter one o'clock. Going up to Mike the
following conversation took place:
Cudahy-Sir, did you read that sign?
Mike scratched a match in conven-
lent place, took few puffs, and replied,
can who might We be, sorr:"
Cudahy-I am Mr.. Cudahy, the SUI
perintendent of the works.
Mike-Well, Misther Cuddy, yez
got good job, an my advoise to We, is
for We to kape it.
With that Mike picked up his wheel
barrow and meandered, while Mr.. Cud-
ahy sadly turned in the other
direction saying quitely to himself.
"Well, I'll be damned"
When politician with pull desires
military recognition at the hands of the
President he gets his son or relative ap-
pointed assistant something general,
preferably in the cOmmissary depart
ment. This is what comes of it:
When the First Missouri Volunteers
was mustered in the state had lot of
old uniforms with which the boys were
fixed These uniforms were charged up
against the United States, which fact
was taken notice of by the commissary
department. BY and by the old moth
eaten uniforms began to fall to pieces,
whereupon howl went up from the
boys for new uniforms. The officers
called attention to the fact and it was
decided to give the regiment new uni
forms.
One of the assistant commissary-
generals Immediately lit upon the hap
Ply idea that as the regiment already
had one set of uniforms it could not
get another one until it had delivered
up those it had. n demand was ac-
cordingly made, and the uniforms
were given up. But here comes the
funny part Of the story. The new uni
forms were not forthcoming. The
consequence was that the First Mis-
souri, sent out its detail for guard mount
in full Indian rig, war paint and all.
a party of ladies is said to have been
present to watch the gallant Missouri
ans do their guard mounting dressed in
army blankets and brogans.
The last reports are that the First
Missouri is still looking for its uni
forms, and that they got a hawser
stretched around their camp with large
signs keep Of the Grass" and "Posi-
lively No Ladies Allowed Around
Here"
"Well | think the worst scare | ever
had was when lad, | was cadet at
the military academy of Gin the old
country. C-is on the coast and there
is also an artillery proving station there.
1t was in the summer, and artillery
practice went on every afternoon.
About POGO yards from the shore were
anchored line of three cOrnered wood
en- targets.
"One noon some of us boys went in
swimming in front of the proving sta
ton where dozen 6-inch Krupp guns
were being put IN position, and as the
work was not completed we began ban
tering each other about swimming out
to the targets. Finally two Of us start
ed. The sun was shining down hot and
when about halfway the other lad de-
cided to turn back. ], however, did
not want to come back until | had
reached the goal so | went on, but the
further out | got, the rougher the water
got as the wind was blowing directly
from shore, and l began to consider
how it would be in going back. But l
finally reached the targets. They were
simply floats made out of timber with
the target made of light boards. l
crawled up on one of the floats pretty
we'll exhausted, and lying down in the
shade Of the target | soon fell into a
sound sleep with the waves rocking me
so enticingly.
Il suppose | had slept couple of
hours when l was awakened by crash,
and as l opened my eyes inch shell
exploded about 200 yards beyond and
in direct line with my shelter. Irolled
off into the water just as another one
struck the top of the target and sent a
shower of splinters down on me. Well