Pullman herald. [volume] (Pullman, W.T. [Wash.]) 1888-1989, 1898-05-07

"A Denver saloon-keeper offers print
"a war song with each drink. The song
\ probably is enough to drive anyone to
drink. --,
When the ocean is not big enough to
accommodate our new navy any longer
without crowding, we will buy another
ocean, that's all.
That Hamburg astronomer who
claims to have discovered a second
moon must have used an unusually
large glass-a schooner" perhaps.
Recent statistics prove that the con-
sumption of whisky throughout the
West is steadily decreasing. That
shows what became of the air ship.
American bicycles have become SO
popular in Germany that German man.
ufacturers are hunting for methods To
keep Americans out of the market.
We are constantly told that "Spain
has great pride" 1t is fortunate that
she has. She doesn't seem to be over
stocked with anything else, except it is
diabolism.
The modern folding bed and the SEN
sational newspaper correspondents are
both employed for lying purposes, but
the similarity ends right there. The bed
shuts up occasionally
A poet in the London Spectator has
excited the derisiOn of the English
speaking world by re-.arking Il try 10
remember the future" Yet how many
people have suffered disaster by care
lessness in the matter Of futures.
An Eastern advertiser prints a picture
of campaign rooster over an adyer-
tsement, saying: This is the hen that
laid the eggs that we sell IL for %
cents a dozen" That advertiser should
be arrested for a fraudulent use of the
male.
Special dispatches from Cadiz. Ky.
announce that Miss Beatrice Cunning
ham of that place has recently publish
I'd a novel. the sale Of which she is now
accelerating by giving a kiss with each
= book. She probable will do fine male
order business.
Oscar Wilde is undenably a wit,
even though he may be wicked How
are English prisoners treated" some
~ one asked him after his own release.
"Why." he responded, England treats
her prisoners so badly that she does
not deserve 10 have any"
- There is a bad state of affairs in
Cleveland Ohio. The Plain Dealer re-
ports a man as saying: MY cigar last
night cost me a dollar" How so|
queried his friend. Il smoked it at
home, and my wife was sure the gas
was leaking and telephoned for II
plumber"
A bachelor philosopher remarks that
mo man ever wants to kiss a girl after
he has once seen her hold a nickel the
conductor has given her for change be-
tween her teeth. while she gets her
purse open" and he further intimates
that such girl is only fit to kiss pug
dog OF course bachelors are not al
ways responsible critics.
A little girl in a New York school
screamed at the sight of mouse. The
children became panic-stricken and
rushed screaming out of the room, the
= teachers ordered fire drill. fire
alarm was rung in distracted parents
fought TO enter the building and save
their children from the supposed
names. And all for one small mouse
Rash is the man that dares to laugh at
= the feminine fear of mouse!
matchmaker who brought suit for
divorce year ago has been arrested
at the inStigatOn of his wife thirty
nVe times since then, and has spent the
major portion of his time in Jail await
ing trial on some frivolous charge or
other trumped up by the woman. The
poor matchmaker is quite run down,
ana wants this sort of prosecution
would up at once.
One can easily see why Englishmen
wish success to plans for the liberia
lOn of Cuba Their losses through the
devastation of the island are only less
srleVous than our own. Scores of cot
III ION and tobacco estates are owned or
mortgaged in England, and almost all
~ the money invested in the insular rail
ways came from London. II is with
English capital that public works were