The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1898-06-25


watts-Bixley is a sad wag. Potts
Especially when zone will laugh at mis-
jokes.-Indianapolls Journal.
Harry, do you love your little baby
brother?' whats the useY he
wouldn't know 1t IL | did.-Tit-Bits.
An Exceptional case.-"He's very
timld. is he not?'' VERY. Why, he's
SO timid thai he's scared by war
scares!"-Puck.
After the Battle.-He-Then go
and forever. She-Nery well. But
don't cali tomorrow evening; for
sha'n't be in.-Life.
ut doesn't do any good to scold the
1anltor about our cold rooms" Yes, 1t
does. / get all warmed up when tax
TO hlm."-Chicago News.
She-I like your impudence. i
haven't reached the bargain counter
vet. He-You would be a bargain Oh
any counter.-Harper's Bazaar.
81 have just taken MY newly grad
uated grandson into business with me.
"How are you getting on with himT
-'Well, | seem to please hlm.'-Life.
Johnny-Is a lingo a man who would
like to make war on all f~oreignersf
Papa-Yes, my son and he would pre-
Ter TO talk the enemy to de~ath.-Puck.
He-Do you know when you get a
bad coin? she-certalnly do. How
do YOU know why, the man Of
fer II to refuses TO take i~t.'-Yonkers
Statesman.
A Pointed ~Inquiry.-Stern Father
Henry, nave you and your new watch
parted company already? Henry Tia
conically)-Broke. Father-WhichE
Jewellers Weekly.
Useless Adyice.-Wlggles-My physi-
clan has ordered me never to take ac-
tive exercise after n hearty meal. Wag'
gles-Well, what of IL: N'sg.es-i
understandable Journal.
The Rev. Longnecker-I wish could
think of some way 10 make the CON
~gregation keep their eyes on me during
the sermon. Little Tommy-Fa, yol
want TO put the clock right behind the
pulplt.-Boston Traveller.
Ethel-Why didn't you attend Prof
Dumps lecture on the Cycles OF
Timer 1t was very interesting.
Maude-The subject of the lecture was
embarrassing to me. You know, dear.
/ bought my wheel on the instalih19ht
plan.-Pittsburg Press.
II shall not call upon you next week
nor the week after said the young
man. IN fact, l shall not call upon
you until after Easter why not,
she asked, anxiously. Because | am
giving up what love best-for Lent
said he.-Harper's Bazaar.
She-Don't you think Mrs. Waps'ey
is a beautiful woman? He-She Is Il
beautiful woman-the most beautiful
woman, / think. that | have ever seen.
She latter he has gone)-l wonder II he
has always beer such a fool, or wheth-
.er 1t has Just begun TO grow on him
lately.-Cleyeland Leader.
Chollie-Maud has TO wear glasses;
the oculist says she has been using her
eyes too much. CHARLIE should say
so! You ought TO have seen her at he
dance the other night; she was just
surrounded by men all the time.-iiar-
per's Bazaar.
She-Ah, count, you don't know how
nv love for you distresses my parents!
heard my father say this morning
that he would give $4,000 II could
never see you again. The Counties
your fazaire In hees Offices now. you
sink ?-Chicago News.
Little Tompklns-That fellow Brown
tried to stuff me up with some Of MS
travellers tales the other day. Talked
about his trip to Italy. and the waving
fields OF macaroni, hnt he didn't catch
me. you know. They don't wave
Punch.
Parson-Ah, my friend. run brought
you here, of course. /, too, used t
drink, but for ten years not q drop Of
liquor has passed my lips Convi.
-'Scuse me, pard, but | don't want t,
hear no hard-luck story now. I've go
troubles of me own.-Life.
Anxious Mother-I think you Shout,
interfere, Edward. There Is youn;
Stumps sitting for the last half-hou
with Mabel. holding her hand. Yol
know that he's not In a position to mar
~. Father (complacently)-True bu
let him hold her band. Martha; il wi
keep her from the piano.-Exchangs.
Restful Rogers ringing suburban
ties door-beil at l a. m.)-'Scuse mt
pard-but me and Weary Willy an
Dusty Rhodes and Frosty Fagin
a-tryin' ter sleep out in your 'arI
and wouldn't yer be kind enough te
chloroform dat kid, or put him under
tub. or do suthin' to i'm ter make ii
stop yellin' so Internal loud?-Puck.
Mrs. Smllax-Henry. | really believ
Freddy is going to be a doctor when Il
grows up. ! heard him tell Mary ths
she must be careful of her health. an
that pie was considered hurtful. NJ
smllax-It looks TO me as though he
more likely TO become a lawyer. NJ
ticed that he had two pieces Of pie {
supper last eyenlng.-Boston Tral
script.
The lecturer on health had hnlshe
his discourse and invitetd his auditor
TO ask any questions they chose col
corning points that might seem to nee
clearing up, when a lean. skinny ma
rose up and asked: Professor, whit
do you 10 when you can't sleep
nightT' Il usually stay awake +
piled the lecturer. although, of cours
~vo-uIoH.r ehnsslA faal - 1tbnut. - .