The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1898-01-14

Frank Loekard Of Norton is travel f
ing over the state rustiiug material tor (
a book Of eminent men Of Kansas. For
s. plunks yOu may have a biographi- I
cal sketch and a likeness Of yourself /
inserted The price being 50 strong, no |
GoOdIand statesmen VIII be repre- !
sented-
Down at wichita there was q social
function the other night which the
EAGLE piped of in this lucid style:
aMrs. HortOnwortle's party Friday
evening was a great success The large
pesrl-handed knives which were used
st the luncheon belonged to Mrs Har-
din, Mrs. Horvortle's neighbor. The
silver spoons. Mrs. HorwOrtle borrowed
from Mrs. Grandther1
One Of the funny things that was
seen in this city, says the COncOrdia
Blade, was a wife belaboring her hush
and for getting drunk and spending
their money. She did it with good
sized cudgeI, and every time she dealt
a blow an oath accompanied it. The
fellow begged piteously, but she showed
him no mercy till she tired Of the
work. 1t had one good effect-he
stayed sober the next day. But be was
so bruised he couldn't-get up town.
A Boston firm owned a mineral
spring near TrOnto in Canada. They
shipped the water in casks to Boston,
where it was bottled. The DinRley bill
clapped a duty Of d per cent on min
eral waters and their trade was ruined.
| But they did not give up; they discOv-
cred that by some strange oversight ice
was free. So they freeze their water in
Canada and import it as ice, free Of
duty, melt and bottle it at Boston as
before. But they save the cost Of the
casks, get cheaper freight rates and 50
are doing very we'll, thank you.
A farmer living near Almena on last
/ Saturday morning heard q noise about
his hog pen. Upon going out to the
pen he was surprised to find one Of his
fat hogs with its throat cut, so think
ing he had chased the thieves away be
heated some water and soon had tbs
hog dressed and hung up to cool neal
I the corner Of the house. When gOini
out after breakfast he was surprised K
] find that his hog was gone. The thieves
{. had waited until he had it cleaned, theI
p returned and got it while he was eating
{ breakfast.
Some of the restaurants have bills o
: fare with the fy-leaf covered with ad
> vertisementsO Of various business houses
A man took a seat behind one Of them
when a waiter appeared with: "Whs
will you have, sir?" To the utter con
fusion Of the waiter, he leisuFely re
marked: "YOu may fetch me new Sc
, of teeth in guttapercha; an improve
Il sewing machine with patent lOekstitct
a box Of bilious pills, and a pair Of NJ
y : French boots" In a moment th
% waiter replied: ave do not furnis
> those articles" "Then what have 70
E. got them on the bill Of fare fort" r
le torted the customer.-Tit-Bits.
st The DR.. ]. c. Brown6eld Gomez
company opened up for a two week
q. engagement at the opera house Tue
It, dav night, so the manager said. IT
be show was free and they were greete
with a full house. DR.. BrOwnAeld hs
Of not arrived, being detained at Coll
N with some Of his patients, so there W
IN no talk on wonderful cures" to N
the entertainment. The doctor arTivu
-. on No. 3 Wednesday mOring, it is sal
- and asked some depot emplOye if the
: was a free show going on in town ]
was told there was none. "The 'dOctt
got tsore' at this reply, aud ordered
Oh to cancel our dates here" said the ms
81 ager to a REPUBLIC man Wednesd
l'9 morning, as he was around gatheri
e up their hangers. So the "depot 81
is ploye" is the cause Of US not hsyi
on any more free showl