Republican news item. [volume] (Laport, Pa.) 1896-19??, 1898-04-14
Tia Sl0tbful Suit0T.

both engaged i'll the laborious opera
ton of sitting under shady tree,
subsequently to particularly heavy
country dinner. ''My dear boy, "said
he, edo you know that I think that
you are-excuse me-a little of a
fool?"
''Know it? Certainly" responded
the other toiler; 'why shouldn't 1 !?
That is your common run of thought,
and as you take care to express it q
dozen times a day 1 am tolerably used
to it. l am not surprised, L assure
You. But what have done now?"
Ozone? Nothing. Doing every
thing. You are playing the mischief
with your after-happiness by allowing
yourself to get in love with your
'oharmer, as you are pleased to call
her Suppose you marry her. She
will lead you the life of servant.
She has ten times the money you can
lay your hands upon, and, so far as [
can see, is a maiden who would love
fondly to rule the roost. She is self
willed, witty, high-tempered and exact
ing. And between your stupid good
nature and beautiful laziness, and her
touch -andgo style, with her fire and
push, you will come utpretty fine, old
boy, pretty deuced fine"
''Upon my word, I'm half inclined
to think you're right. Not a sudden
conversion, by any means, but I've
been dreaming that she has more
pluck in a single day than I've had
since 1 was born. And this won't do,
you see; can't bear to be made to do
anything, OF think of everything, and
she would always be nagging at my
habits and lazy friends. That would
be misery indeed. My dear friend.
you're handsomer than l.; take her off
my hands. She'd be willing, no
doubt"
''Well," drawled the other" s'I
don't mind Egotism aside, you'll
pardon me, of course, if say that I
think we might get on better than if
you were in my place. But L can't
stand any flirtations from you, of
course. You'll have to quit moonlight
drives and boating, and that stuff, of
course, eh?"
Certain. AS you like. 1t is too
hot to talk. Suppose you hunt her
up, oAo . PiaSiHS CIouucI VI soule
such rubbish behind the house; do go,
my boy, for I'm horribly sleepy"
Upon this, nothing 10th, the first
conspirator dragged himself upon his
feet, and lounged away to begin his
toll of capturing the handsomest and
richest girl in the country round
about, and Immediately after he was
lost to sight this identical handsomest
and richest girl stepped from behind
the tree, with flashing eyes, and con-
temnlated the second conspirator with
sublime wrath. He, however, smiles
upon her blandly.
"Too hot to get up to receive you,
my love. There, don't fly off in fury,
for knew you were there, but I
couldn't stand the trouble of getting
you alone in any other way. There's
a shawl or something; fetch it here,
and sit down and take r,y head in
your lap. Come"
Indeed, sir" quoth she; "indeed,
sir, your impudence is beyond every
thing. L"
eyes," yawned the PROSTATE hero;
ST expect it is. But you wouldn't have
me get up to get that shawl, would
you?"
SIT is not matter of shawl, as
sure you," said the handsomest girl,
with a fine drawing up of her figure;
"but demand to know why you pre-
sumo to talk of me in the manner I
was forced to ov~rhear"
Here she dug her parasol deeply
into the ground, and looked savagely
upon the poor culprit before her. The
poor culprit laughed.
"a trick of war only, my gem. I
wanted to tickle his vanity. He is a
consummate dandy, and you are con-
summate beauty, and | am consum-
mate lazy-bones; so, there You have
1t, if you'll only take the trouble to
find it out. It's bore to explain
Whereupop he spread handker-
chief over his face. Here the parasol
came in use to drag it away and throw
it off upon the grass, while the perpe-
traitor of the outrage looked in
dignantly downward
''Sir," she began, with much calm
ness though her eyes sparkled as if
she were burning volcano inside.
"Sir-''-
''My love-"
''Sir. I own that have been foolish
enough to suppose that in person fit
to be my husband there would BE at
least some lingering spark of manl
ness, and"
Love, that was foolish !! It was,
indeed.
''And some faint atom of spirit.
That there would be some energy that
would show itself on some great occa-
sion, even if it was usually concealed
by other habits. Now, l have been
,oolishIy led into becoming engaged to