Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1898-09-29
SOME IRISH BULLS.
ILLUSTRATING THE FINE ART OF
SPEAKING PARADoxicALLY.

And Showing at the Same Time the Facul-
~ Possessed by Many Sons of Erin OF
They Mean.
Every day brings forth new examples Of
the fondncss Irshmen have for making
paradoxical spccchcs-in other words,
bulls" An amusing story Is told by .
dispensary doctor in n union in tho south
of Ireland. One night he was awakened
by n rapping at the front door of his resi-
dcnce, and, going to tho window, saw a
laboring man below.
whats the matter, my good fellow
he said
IT'S me ould mother that's tuck bad,
docthcr." replied the man.
Have you been long horc?" asked the
doctor.
81 have, thin, yer honor"
"And why on earth didn't You ring the
night belly"
sure, l was afraid I'd disturb yer
honor" was tho mans perfectly sincere
reply. No doubt with the Irish peasants
desire to make himself as little trouble.
some rs possible to his bottors, from whom
he has to ask a service, the man had q CON
fused idea that rapping at the door would
disturb the doctor less than ringing the
night bell.
Bulls" often originate in misunder-
standing Of the meaning 81 words or terms
A lady asked widow whether her son
was still in the orphanagc in DubNn
"Och no, me lady" was the reply
sure, he's an orphan no longer. He's
now workin at thrado outside"
At an inquest held recently in Galway
concerning the death of child under
rather suspicious circumstances, IA quacS
doctor, who attended the child, stated in
the course of bis evidence that he had Civ
en- him ipecacuanha.
You might as we'll have given the
aurora horcalis," said tho coroner
Now, there is one thing an Irish peasant
will not do, and that is acknowledge his
ignorance of any subject, so the quack
doctor returned the prompt reply;
And sure, yer honor, that was tho
very thing was goin TO give him next If
he hadn't died just thin
The incapacity of the average Irish mind
to readily grasp the import of numbers is
also the fruitful source Of bulls" Every
one will remember Charles Keanc's pic.
turc of the steyedore at the hatchway
shouting down to tho men in the hold
Now, thin, how many of yc is down
there's
"Five of us"
Thin half of yes kun mp directly"
cries the sicvcdorc.
The light in which domestic service Is
regarded by some servants in Ireland is IL
Illustrated by an amusing auecdotc which
was told hy a lady in u letter written to
Dublin newspaper some time ago \
young country girl called on her in answer
TO an advertisements for general servant
Have you reference asked the lady
"A rifcrence!" exclaimed the girl in in
jured tones. what do l want that for?
Sure, It's I've got to live with you, and
not you with me-
That letter led TO the relation by sec
ond mistress of che story of another laugh.
able "bull" One day her servant answered
a knock at the hall door.
"Who was it that callcdg" she asked
the maid subsequently.
1T was a sintioman, ma'am, loohin for
the wrong house, was the reply.
There Is a story told in journalistic cir
cles in Dublin of a delightful! display OF
cuteness by farmer who called at ono OF
the newspaper offices To have an advor.
tisement inserted. He was informed that
the charges werc shilliugs for the frs,
insertion and IS, sd. for the second.
Faith, thin" snid he, IN have it in the
second time"
Here aro two comical "hulls" due 20 the
Celt's lightning rapidity Of thought. lis
it u son OF II daughter your sister, Mrs
Healy, has got!" asked q gentleman OF
one of his tenants whom he met ON the
road Tho curse of the crows on me, bu,
don't know whether I'm an uncle or an
auntN' was tho immediate reply.-Spcc
tator