The record-union., 1898-04-12
KISSING WITH A PREFACE.
But the Introduction Avoided the
Necessity of a Shooting.


1t was a home-talent show, and We
sat patiently waiting for the unexpect-
| ed to happen The unexpected always
happens with a home-talent show, an1
an inner mountain village is not PROOF
| against this long accepted stage 1att'
we strangers from the unreSenerate
East, who were there in the mountains
for our health's sake felt assureH,
therefore, of an experience before the
night should be over
1t was THE Mikado' which was TO
be presented, tattered aand torn ~ its
transit from first-class theaters in ttt
East to the Town Hall 0f Teton City.
We had heard Nanki-Poo as he had
sung about being a thing of shreds an
patches, and we had heard ko-Ko's
announcement of his theories and ideas
and were getting along fairly well in
our listening when the kissing song was
reached. Then Red Pete Barker who
was singing Nanki-Poo, advanced tC
the footlights.
Ladies and gentlemen" the tenor
singer began, this is a mighty poor
place in the show to interrupt the pro-
ceedings to make a speech, but as cef-
tain things are about to happen, /
think it only fair that you be put on.
have heard that Holy Moses Perkins,
who is known and generally hailed
and greeted as the eventual husband
of Miss Betty Hoyler, who is taking
the part of Yum Yum, has announced
to all concerned that if / followed ous
the directions of the book in this play
and insist on kissing the lady, there
will be five different kinds of trouble.
l hereby announce that | am going to
begin kissing the young lady in abou1
three minutes, and shall keep right on
kissing her through the whole blamed
song, aand l further announce that l
shall do that kissing in full viaW Of TIE
audience.
Moreover, it may be of interest TO
you to know that I have secreIed in
these long and flowing robes two first
class siX-shooters right ready for busi-
ness. l am also armed with the fact
that Holy Moses Perkins is sitting in
seat No. 167, which is in plain view
from the stage. AS the scene which is
about to be presented is a cross be
tween a delicious love song and aom-
icide, and as I shall caress the young
woman with one eye on her beauteouS
charms and the other on seat NO. 16l |
hope you will overlook any little short
comings in the affair. l hate to men-
tion such low, coarse things. out the
gun which 1 shall use first is a self
cocker and has been recently oiled.
Thanking you for your kind attention,
the show will now go on
I'VE listened to the rendition of the
kissing song with great interest, espe-
cially those who We're In range OF seat
No 167. Nothing happended however
Mr. Perkins remaining stattesluel9
mute. But when the applause contin-
ued on its demand for an encore Mr..
Barker appeared once more at the stage
front:
Thank you,'' he said for this vim
dication, but if you want soma more
of it l am compelled to say you can't
have it. l respect Mr.. Perkins claim
on the premises. Thank you one ana
all, especially Mr.. Perkins, who has
this night sacrificed his feelings for the
advancement of art. The SHOW will
now proceed"
We then leaned back and listened re
spectfully while Pooh-Bah told about
his troubles and expectations.--Chica
Record.