The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1898-02-16
A BRIDE CONTEST.

Had the man from Raecoon valley
dropped dynamite shell in the redhot
stove, he could not have surprised tine
store more than he did by the purchase
of three glass pitchers. The store WAS
dumfoundod but, always slow to eyince
emotion of any kind, it said nothing
until tho stranger had taken chair,
placed his basketful of glassware at his
feet, lighted penny cigar and shown
his intention to linger awhile, movid-
ing he found things pleasant
Then the man with the bushy whis-
kers who was lolling on the counter
shuflled his feet in warning and at
length said, II low you must drink a
heap of water up your way
The storekeeper strolled around from
behind tho counter and, taking post
with his back to the stove and his eyes
fastened ON tho transom over tho front
door. ventured in an indifferent way.
Yes, you must drink IL heap of wotter
to buy n dollar an half worth o
pitchers Mt onet "
Tho stranger grinned again.
Perhaps mo don't drink only water, "
came from the man who was rocking on
nail keg behind the stove.
They hahn fer wotter, but fer wed
din presents said the stranger
Mighty souls! y triple weddin!"
cried the storekoepcr. We'll, you uus
w mp i'll Raccoon valley do beat all
This here petite lar instance do beat
all, admit. said the man who hailed
from that small but important part of
the state of Pennsylvania. THE blue
pitchers fer Teacher Perry. the green
un fer .Iabey Winglo. old Jawhn Win.
gle's son; the plain un $ fer Hen liar.
mon
And the store lifted up its voice in
ono grand mighty Soulsl"
The stranger rubbed his hand through
his long beard and grinned again
It's nine milo to Raccom valley.
It's kinder an outen the way, ahint the
time sort q n placct, an I've never ben
there nm don't know them as You un
has spoken Of said tho man on tho
counter But you mowt tell US of IT, "
'Gwon ~ cried the rest Of the gath
ering
II low if You don't know Teacher
Perry. or .lawm Wngle's son Jakcy.
or Hen Harmon, You uns mowt o heard
o Squire Kramer, amt YOU
The store had not and the stranger
said Mighty soplsl'
Having thus expressed his surprise at
the Ignorance about him, he continued.
"Well, not hevin heard q Squire IRA
mer, o course You uus haint heard o.
his twins, tlory an Pet Them was
girls The prettles III Raccoon valley,
or any other valley fer that matter
II year old, D feet inch high, woighin
scant hundred an twelve pound Slim.
yeller hair, musklar He'd BEN II
younger man might % gone in the
fight with Teacher Perry ,iakev Mmgle
an Hen Harmon. hut getun near to so
as | am, with "a mlSsus and seven lit.
tie uns at home, LET the feel to them,
an high time they AN them twins bed
o IT. 1t was Il case q the three % en-
courtin the two o EN-. Ter ii Teacher
Perry, or Jake Wmgle, .Iawhn Wingle's
son, or Hen Harmon went over to
Kramer he never set up with any
pete lar twin. but with whichever he
seen first
About corn cuttin time Teacher Per.
ry goes over to Squire Kramer's 5, an he
sails. sails he, Squire. l want one o.
your twin dotters.
Which UNI? sails the squire.
I've no idee, sails Teacher Perry.
scratchin his head, kinder puzzled like.
Jest then up comes Hen Harmon an
Jake Wingle, Jawhn Wingles son.
Squire. sais Jake, kinder fiustered
like, fer fear the teacher he'd got ahead
O. him, mo an Hen each wants one O.
'em twins
Squire Kramer he thot piece, an
then sails, sails he: Boys, they's three
o. you uns an two o the twins. One o.
you uns has got to git left Which un?'
The three o EN- kind o. looked fool.
ish like, an Squire Kramer cast his eye
down over his 20 acre feel o tall, straight
corn