The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1898-04-10

The charge is sometimes made against
the American girl that she thinks lightly
of the Importance of her betrothal. She
breaks off her engagement more easily and
with less thought and feeling than does
the girl of any other nation. This is hard
Iy fair criticism. The American girl, says
the April Ladies Home Journal, is scarce
ly as Iight-headed as such a charge would
imply The very fact that she breaks her
marriage engagement shows that she does
realize its Importance and its RESPONSE
bilities; otherwise, why should she seek
TO release herself? But she realizes this
after she has become engaged. The reali-
cation comes at the wrong time; after the
engagement and not before. II is NOT
that she fails to realize the Importance of
the betrothal itself once it is made. The
trouble is she does not always clearly I'M
derstand the true gravity of a promise of
marriage before she makes it. 1t is at
this point, not when she is engaged, that
the trouble lies.
Becoming engaged means too little TO a
great many girls. When our country was
much younger, for a girl to become en-
gagged to a man was almost akin TO the
actual marriage. 1t was a time for as
great festivities as the marriage ceremony
itself. The betrothal was proclaimed and
posted" just as engagements are to-day
In the older European countries. 1t was
as much a matter of record as the nup-
tails. The Jews still follow this custom,
and in spirit it is an excellent one. They
advertise their. betrothals in the newspa-
pers, and thereby declare a betrothal to
be what IL properly should be-a serious
and definite obligation placed on public
record. I do not point this out because /
think it would be wise'for those of another
faith to follow this ancient custom. But
the fact remains and is potent, that the
Jewish girl taking her as a whole, has
clearer idea of the Importance and grav-
ity of matrimonial engagement, before
she enters upon IL, than has the average
girl OF Gentle faith and parentage. The
great trouble is that gradually the notion
has become too prevalent that an engage
ment of marriage is not an irrevocable
condition; it is not exactly final. We have
been slowly getting away from the old
and true idea that a betrothal is as real
and integral a part of marriage as the
nuptials themselves. Here is where the
mischief has been done. The growing
prevalence of broken engagements has
robbed, in a sense, the betrothal of it's
real Importance and gravity. 1t is accept
ed too much as a condition apart from
marriage; not as an actual part of it, Nat
urally tendency in this direction means
a lighter view of a betrothal. Our girls
are thus getting wrong notion of what
they are entering into when they become
betrothed. The girls are not to blame;
neither can IL be said that the fault lies
altogether with their parents. The cause
is more general, and for that reason more
dangerous and more difficult to combat
1t is due rather 10 the changing conditions
of society," to the transitory stage which
as people we are passing through We
are progressing too fast; letting go of a
great many lines of safety before we are in
reach of others. We are too blind to the
subtleties of life i'm our mad chase for the
material element. We like 10 say that our
girls are self-reliant. And they are un-
doubtedly. But is any girl of an impress
sionable age sufficiently self-reliant to take
on altogether correct view of matters of
the heart without the guidance of experi-
ence2 The prevalent wrong idea of the be-
trothal state answers this question most
forcibly. A clearer knowledge of what il
means for girl to get engaged" is vital
~. necessary. We must get back to the
old-time Interpretation and acceptance OF
betrothals. An engagement of marriage
is not conditional agreement 1t is one
of the most serious compacts in life; as
definite an obligation as marriage and a
direct pare of the ceremony itself Few
compacts in life are in reality, more far
reaching in consequences. More important
even is the betrothal than marriage IT.
self since nuptials are simply the seal
placed upon the original agreement. The
betrothal should be just sacred as the
marriage. 1t is the gravest of the two
steps which bind two people together, be-
cause 1t is the initiative. There are, OF
course, exceptional cases where unfore.
seen conditions arise which make it botf
wise and best to have a betrothal come &c
an end. But only the most extraordinary
circumstances justify such a course Only
one other agency in life-alcohol-is re-
sponsible for more broken hearts and
wrecked lives than broken engagements
/ am inclined to lay special emphasi,
upon the girls responsibility in this mat
ter because, after all, the greatest power
lies with her. 1t is for man to ask but 1
is for woman to answer. and the reply i
infinitely more important than the cues
ton. II is highly necessary that our girl
should have a perfectly clear idea of VIVA
betrothal means, or should mean, if /
is a betrothal i'm the sight of God
a tnmultuous youthful passion, the con
fusion of admiration for affection, the mis-
taking of respect for love; these are no
safe grounds for betrothals. 1t is neve
10 the credit of girl, in the eyes of men
that she has been engaged two or tire
times. Girls should remember that To,
often they think that men feel otherwise
or, perhaps, do not care. But men 40
that Is. the men worth marrying A ma,
looks upon an oft-engaged girl as he doe
upon a peach with much OF the bloom
rubbed off. Girls are not always success
full in getting men to acknowledge thi
fact. But men feel so. nevertheless, an
feel more strongly on this point than mos
girls fancy. Besides, men generally con
clude that there is something wrong wit
such girl. NJ my a mature woman al
over this land, some married. others un
married appreciates the point of trut
there is in these words. A girl cannot b
too careful of such a reputation. Tn
right kind of girl viii betroth hersel
but once. An unhappy betrothaI can h
just as keen a sorrow as an unhappy mar
rage. 1t has oarkened the life OF NOR
than one woman. Girls will do wen :
think over these things at this seaeo.