Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1898-09-11
Holly, w. Va.

pinASc ~ choHS .. hSNA ONS0VA@sp
Holly, w. Va.
TO hurry US to the domclss OF suburban
friends-nay, more, we have sent thither
our offspring unto the third and fourth
generations For 1t Is written I'm the
precepts of good society that whosoeve.
stayeth at home between the months OF
June and September is dead po' white"
and shall not walk with the chosen-to
wit, those who turn up their noses ut
common" people and refuse TO pay bills
TO all classes, regardless of race, color,
or previous condition OF servitude
Ny folk went; we would rather be dead
'sho' 'nuff," as the darkies put it, than
be considered dead po'white."
Now. know all good people. to whom
these presents shall come greeting Il
wish they could take the place of Christ
mas and wedding presents) that there's
little question of money involved in
going away. Yes. little question involv-
ing big money. While you presumably
go for your health-but in reality to keep
from being called "po' -whlte"-you must
not suppose that railroad corporations
are in business for their health, too, or
for anybody elses They charge money
for tickets. and maintain that a man
shouldn't expect to get mountain air,
sea breezes. Piedmont miasma lowland
typhus, Louisa cheegers, and Goochland
chills and fever all for nothing. A small
tax is required to carry seekers-after-
rest TO their places of rejuvena ton, and
then the keepers OF inns, taverns, ordi
naries, clearinghouse. hosteries, and
hotels add their finishing touches.
And when once settled at the place you
have selected, you must hold your own
md strenuousy seek to make people be-
ieve that money is no object to you.
Don't think this is deceitful Everybody /
Ices it, Remember that full many a |
lower is born TO blush unseen, simply |
because, unlike the "Jimson weed" il
ails to crowd other vegetation off the
lshbank. Be diftident with the people
rom your own town, and explain when
Questioned concerning your conduct by
outside frauds that one has to be careful
o keep society exclusive. In short, pun
-ourself up like a bicycle tire and see to
that no bigger potato on the hill causes
ou to sustain a puncture by reason Ct
1ore display or boastfulness.
But I'm drifting from my text, and
cling you what TO do next year, where
$. I wish TO describe the dark brown au-
lmnal taste now in my mouth, and in
our mouth, and in the mouths Of all
Their summer boarders.
Why did you come back 20 town,
lyhow7 Didn't you know that this
IT spell was going to be ordered Just /
r your benefit, so that In two hours |
ter your arrival here you would feel
&c hard-shell crab dropped in boiling
alter? Didn't you know that autumn I
ways breaks loose with one last throb-
ng, spasmodic imitation OF that place [
nither so many OF you will some day
TO spend an eternal summer? And Y
n.y. oh, citizen. formerly so careless of '
ur cash! did you fail on your arrival
re to take a cab 10 your house why n
you sneak home on the 3-cent mule 4
r? Is this consistent with aristocratic
meanor and those naughty nose-uplift- c.
IS with which you formerly greeted \
in. everyday people from your town?
ID why, furthermore, do you already V
ar your winter clothing, when autumn.
'ugh now doing business az the old IN
M, is still red-hot? All, know the u
Ison why. I'm one OF you. / under lie
nd. The pecuniary lemon which you
We sucked for so many days IS now ii
! dry and the purpllng light OF autumn u
twilight is shmmering through your
eworn clothing. In sooth you are n
"a broke and short Of the where N
hal 10 follow the precedent set by
lamented Adam when he blushingly m
himself to the ig-tree. hi
ut you did your duty while in the
at procession. None knew that az pa
ntlde you washed your own pocket
kerchiefs. and established within is
r cottage an amateur laundry which ~
,ued 60 cents from the hungry nav Of
e genial proprietor" While playing is
part Of butterfly you fluttered gayly
allowed no plebeian cockroaches In nv
r set. 1t was splendid while IL lasted I
you are willing 70 pay the penalties. We
lceforth-at least. until another sum- u,
browns the silk IN the corn and gilds ,
bearded wheat Oeader will please note ~,
ulistic flights OF rhetoric)-you will en-
lead to the world SO let 1t be- Per- !
5 It's better so. Selahl ~
THE IDLE REPORTER. We