Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1898-10-01
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Because man has wheels it doca
not follow that he is noted for his
graceful carriage. Boston Transcl ipt.
"You are not printing much war
poetry now," said II caller to the ed-
itor. "No; l have erected a trocha. "
Judge.
"How does Mrs. Gargoylc come 10
know 80 much of the Gummty family
ahairs?" "Gargoylc bought Gum
mey's parrot"
Chow long does it take you to do
up a white ruhlel skirI:" Lann1ress
-"GeneralIy about two washings.
ma'am. Life.
"Was your parting with George as
affecting as yon expected?' "No: ] had
horrid cold sore on MY lip. -
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
care the people we'll bred at your
boarding honse?' Don't mention
it, We even have to eat mp the stale
pieces in the form Of bread pudding
Ilovc my work. It's loss wont grievr,
Icoul not bear the sorrow.
SO frnyally strive to leave
A plenty for the morrow.
Washington Star.
"There are ways and ways %
breaking the ice" said the diner out.
"T once took girl out to dinner
whose first remark to me was. 'Do
Won talk or listen?' Tit Bits.
She couldn't stay but Il minute,
Anl Shp woni,in't sit down oh no.
But She kept onr dinner waiting
A long half honr or so.
Chicago Record
Johnny hal been playing around
the piano and had had a fall. "Whnt
are you bawling about?' asked Bertir,
contemptuousiy. ''lt was the soft
pedal your head hit. london Tit
Bits.
Puyn -"Have yoa heard that hor-
rible story abo"t old Stitle being
buried u ive?' DR.. Bolns (hustily) -
"Buried alive? Impossible Why,
he was one OF my patients. ."-Roxbury
Gazette.
"This," sail Mr.. Filter, els pic
ture of the only girl ] ever loved"
GLOW cleverly," said Miss Wyse, as
she looked at the portrait. "they dc
get up these composite photographs!'
Truth
"We are in danger" said one Span
ish statesman, "of sinking into uhi-
von; OF being almost forgotten by the
rest OF the world" "Never!" replied
the other proudly. eve still have
onr debts. "-Washington Star.
81 often WONDER" sail Miss
Sprocket, "what becomes OF thepopu.
lar songs. They are so soon forgot.
ten" ''rhey meet with dreadful
fate" replied Mr.. Spokes. "iiow is
that?" ''Everyboly murders them. :"
"Say,' remarked the juvenile
philosopher TO his father, GIVE been
down watching the ducks in the water
to-day, and I've decided that il onr
ears grew between our toes we could
swim just as easily. Adams Free.
man.
"Mother,' said Miss Dolie New
rich, "can't father ailor'l seat in
Parliament:' "a seat?" echoed the
good lady, scorntulIy. "My dear,
your father is rich enough to nave n
whole sofa if he desires it. london
Tit-Dits.
"General," exclaimed the subor-
dinate officer in the Spanish army,
"what shall we do with these bundles
of typewriter victories?' ''Hold on to
'em. Maybe Don Carlos will give ns
a chance to work some OF 'em of yet.
Washington Star.
Wouldn't Miss the Chance: "She
says that he proposed to her, but that
they are not engaged" But. they
knew her and they laughed long and
loud. "Thc only problem, they
said, sis to decide which of the two
statements is false. "---Chicago. POST.
Mrs. Nooritch--"I suppose You
have noticed little Johnuie's awful
lapses in grammar? really must
keep him from the servants The
Neighbor-"Really? I was OF the
opinion that he hal learned them
from his grandfather. indianapolis
journal.
As for the beautiful pariah, she
merely sneered. 'Wretched neigh
bors!" she exclaimed. "They shall
vet come to me! Look, T have wealth!
I shall have a telephone put i'll my
house! Ha, ha!' Oh, what power
have riches to compel social recogni.
tiOn.-Detroit Journal.
Dangers Of Honesty.