The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1898-07-28
HITS AND STRIKE s.

HITS AND STRIKES.
There is tide in the affairs of men
which, if not properly lodged, lands
him in the pen.-Shakspere.
*
The reason we published that funny
piece of Wah Gees in last weeks MIR
ROR was simply to prove that corpse
can laugh. Maybe you fellows don't
enjoy the effects of a corpse laughing
~
Again has the hopes of one of the
boys been blasted. He stole the jewels
of Miss Mcknight, an actress, and
spent over $13 in railroad fares to get
away with them, only to find that he
had distracted the veriform appendix
of glass factory.
*
After having been so long in the
bottle Cervera and his officers are now
in place where sea serpents are fire.
quently seen.
~
What's the difference between men
before and after marriage? Before
He swears to love. After-He loves to
swear.
Xxx
1t is said that the reason so many
men Ethink more of their typwriters
than their wifes in because they can
dictates to the former.
k
There is man here who told us that
the cause of his advent was criminal
negligence" On being asked to ex-
plain.he said that he forgot to poison
the dog.
Since the war broke out it has be-
come the custom for gentlemen to sa-
lutte the stars and stripes. Thus on
windy and rainy days you will see
bald headed gentlemen standing around
the corners continually saluting as the
ladies accidentally show their hosiery.
**x
Some of the European powers look
at Uncle Sam and then at each other
and ask themselves the familiar con-
gressional question, "Where are we
att"
TX
One of our exchanges comes out
with a new declaration of principles
at the head OF it's editorial page, and at
the bottom of it appears the cabalistic
mark, If. This is merely an aid to the
foreman.
Xxx
Isn't it about time to accuse Mark
Hanna of something? We haven't no.
ticed anything lately charged up
against Mark Can it be that he is los
ing the position of scape goat-in chief
to the American Republic?
X.
The Pittsburg Times says the star
of empire has rotary motion these
days. What kind Of liquid refresh
ments do they use in Pittsburg?
Xxx
Cuba is said to be an absolute anti
fat remedy 1t is said that Gen. Shafter
is melting away by the bucketful.
*
Liquid air is now suggested as the
coming motive power Our expert
ments in Congress have proved that
the other kind of air is not very good
propeller, but it is questionable wheth-
O tho horc yun,Id no ohlo tn
vive the process of liquidization. They
will doubtless prefer the old "cold tea"
method of hquidating.
Xxx
Teddy Roosevelt looms up in the far
distance as threatening speck on the
presidential horizon. If it should
come to a showdown like that the
Democrats will have to put up Dewey,
and then the people will be treated to
campaign where no one will dare to
throw dirt, for fear of being licked by
his own side
Xxx
The last victim of the war is an un-
fortunate and defenseless girl.baby in
Texas who has been named Schleyette
by her brutal parents.
~
LIE Sage's description of Spanish
marriage is becoming very popular in
this country. 1t is as follows: eff your
marriage with him was good enough
to secure your reputation, by way of
recompense it is also bad enough to-
allow you to contract better, when
ever you can find the opportunity"