St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1898-09-03
PECKHAM'S LAWN.
He Arranges q Patent Device to Keep
People In Their Places aaA
Tries 1t Himself.

fact, most people are. 1t is this inborn
disposition to get through life with the
least possible effort that makes one
walk on the grass merely to save three
or four steps. Incidentally this nat
ural laziness upon the part OF the
human race is responsible for the fact
that Ebenezer Peckham, who lives out
on Cedar avenue, had been unable to
get a good brand of sod upon the ex-
posed corner of his neat little lot.
Half dozen extra steps are necessary
to take one around Mr.. Peckham's cor
ner, but five out of every six people
who have in the past had occasion TO
turn that way have felt it their duty to
cut across"
Mr.. Peckham put up keep-oh-the-
grass sign, but nobody paid any atten-
ton to it-perhaps because there was
no grass left at the place he referred
to. He upbraided the boys. swore at
the men and looked contemptnously at
the women who violated the sanctity
of his corner, but it all went for
naught. They kept right on cutting
across" and wearing the path deeper
and deeper day by day.
At last Ebenezer Peckham made
VOW. 1t was to the effect that he
would get even with the human race
or know the reason why. In pursuance
of this determination he got two stout
stakes. each about two feet long, and
| he pointed each Of them at one end.
Then he secured 20 feet OF clothesline
and chuckled softly to himself.
Revenge is sweet. In his minds eye
Ebenezer Peckham could see members
of all the various grades of society
turning fipfaps and cartwheels and
standing on their heads and roofing
up the turf. He thought of inviting .
| few friends around to see the fun. but
that would involve delay. and he
| couldn't wait.
| 1t was threatening rain. A tree
shut of the range Of the nearest cleo
| trio light. and Mr.. Peckham's corner
was very dark. The time was propi-
tious.
So he got hatchet and pounded his
stakes into the ground 80 far that a
horse might have pulled at either OF
them without dislodging it. and then
he tied his piece Of clOthesline across
the path that had been worn into his
little patch of lawn. The rope wai
about six inches from the ground
just high enough to trip trespassel
going or coming.
"Now. gol durn you" said Mr.. Peck
ham, as he finished the job, "we'll set
how you like that! guess maybe
there's more than one way of doing
most things, but think this'll be goot
enough for me-"
The nhe retired to his porch and sa'
down in dark corner. from which HI
could see the fun, without being seen
"By George" he said to himself. it,
q shame not to let anybody else EN-
Joy this. / wish Dave Brimmer coul'
be here. He'd split himself wild
open laughing. Dave would just TAX
to this sort of thing. wonder"
But while Mr.. Peckham was ind,llg
ing in his mental talk there came
sudden changing of bells and rattlini
OF wheels. and somebody around tn
corner yelled: "Fire!"
Ebenezer Packham 1eaped clea
over the railing of his porch and start
ed for the confagration. The sight o
sound of fire engine always arouse
the sleeping youth in Mr.. Peckhan
Like IN eagle in his fight he swep
around the lilac bush near the side
!, walk, and then there was . display Q
pyrotechnics beginning with soal
!, ing rocket, continuing with sort 9
pinwheel movement, embracing bri
!. liant shower of stars, and ending wit
a low. plaintive groan. as Mr.. Peel
ham, with q dislocated shoulder.
nose that had been doing special dut
as a plowshare. and trousers that ha
once known their proper place, role
over on the grass.
They put him tenderly obed; kline
hearted neighbor pulled up the stake
and people come and 60 across th
Peckham lawn again at their pleasur
: Cleveland Leader.