The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1898-10-12
----7---o-l7~R--
IRISH FLOWERS OF SPEECH.
A Collection of Wise, or witty Say
fngs by Sons of Erin.

From the London Telegraph
A proof that to an Irlshman, at least,
there are different ways of looking at
things. is afforded by this reply Of peas
ant to his priest "Ah! Mick, Mick"
said his reverence, coming from the pub
lie house again." "Of course, father"
said Nick "sure l can't always stay
there" An old coutrywoman visiting the
dairy show at Dulin saw an incubator for
the first time. "Ah! then, won't 1t be
crate aise to the hins entirely" was her
whimsical comment. Another delightful
matter-of-fact comment on an uncommon
and unusual circumstance is contained In
the following anecdOte: Pat, Is this true
that | hearY said a landlord TO one OF
his tenants, whom he had accidentally
met AN what's that, yer honner?"
THAT you are going to marry again"
Faith, that's So yer homer But your
first wife has only been dead few
monthsw exclaimed the landlord. Sure,
said Pat, shes as dead now as she iver
will be- yer honnerH A steward OF an
Irish estate was asked by visitor wheth-
er certain trees were Old 'Well, sir. thin
that planted thin won't have the tooth
ache any longer" was the mysterious re-
ply horse dealer while examining
FESTIVE animal at Ballinasloe fair had
narrow escape from a kick. Faith, I'll
have nothin' to do with that, boyo" said
he. Hes as handy with his hind legs
as a pugilist."
During the Crimean war the supply of
talIow was limited, and, as a consequence,
candles went up in price. woman was
charged a halfpenny instead of farthing
for a talow candle at the village shop.
Now. how is that. Mr.. O'Brien?" she in
duired 'Irs due to the war, ma am said
the shoopkeeper. "Well," exclaimed the
nil lbaW Gght nv n
delight beforer' A gentleman once said
TO a mlkman-who admitted that he went
with his pail occasionally 10 the pump
"IIow do you know, Tom when to stop
watering the mike" "BegorTa, yer homer,
1 20 on waterin till the customers cry out
again it," was The candid reply farm
er's wife bought box of matches In
shop in Limerick on her weekly visit TO
the city On the next market day she re-
turned the matches, as they were damp.
They're all right ma'am" said the shop
keeper, look az this" and he lii one of
the matches by rubbing il on the leg of
his trousers. "AaTrah. get out with you,
cried the country woman when l want
to light the fire must 1 come in six miles
from Ballyneety TO strike a match on yer
ould britches?" There is a classic locality
In Dublin known as Pill Lane. The way
to the -Four Courts from the northern
part Of the city lies through It. AS dis
unguished member OF the Irish bar passed
down the lane one day the following con-
versatlon took place between fishwoman
and a man: "Faix, il ye had all the larnin'
that that gintieman has got undher his
hair We might consider yerself a wise
man" said the woman. "Oh. thin, I'd
sooner have the money he has in his
purse" replied the man. Moor fool you,
thin" said the woman; sure, It's with
their brains the likes Of him fills their
pockets
think it will be admitted that these ex-
pressions-a bsurd, quaint, audacious,
whimsical. and extravagant-which rise
spontaneously and necessarily to the lips
of the Irish peasantry, have charm just
as subtle and just as delicious as the most
brilliant flashes Of wit and humor. A wo-
mao went to her parish priest In Belfast
and complained of the conduct of her nus
band He drank all his wages, he beat her
frequently, and he rarely went to mass on
Sundays els the man a Catholic at all?'
asked the priest, Mortified at the long lit
any of the husbands iniquities. "Musna,
yer reverence, it's too good a Catholic he
is" was the wife's comical reply. IF my
Tim had his way he'd knock the heads