The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1898-09-17
What a Drummer
Saw and Thought

NOMING on the train from Bone
" vile yesterday l sat behind two
boys who We're trying to impress me
and everyone else in the smoking car
with the fact that they were men Of
the world and fairly desperate char
acters.
They were between IS and 20, I should
judge, and this age, under proper con-
ditions, represents the full bloom OF
amateur deviltry andfoolishness. These
boys were not from the country. They
were from Bonneville, and they affected
that superior manner and easy knowl-
edge of the world which come from q
long residence in town.
From the moment they came into tho
car and fell into their seats with smil-
ing abandon they We're acting. They
wanted everyone to know that they
were experienced and reckless young
men to whom journey by railroad was
an everyday incident. Perhaps they
deceived each other, but they didn't de-
ceive anyone else. Their acting was
too labored.
"Say, Ed, have you another cigar
there in your pockst?"
whats the diff if I have?"
saint you goin' to set 'em up to .
smoke?"
"Why the dickens didn't you buy
some cigars before we started? You
might know we can't get no good cigars
over at Ransom. They don't keep any
kind over there but them regular
stogies."
ooh, rats! Be sport and set 'em
up"
These Introductory remarks were
made in tones which aroused everyone
IN the car. An old-time travelling man
across the aisle from me had his head
down on his grip and was trying TO
catch a little sleep when the two be-
gan. lie opened his eyes slowly and
shook his head.
1.-TWO more of those train-robbers,"
he murmured.
Before the train started the two des-
peradoes made several illusions to some
experience of the night before. They
made frequent use of the word beer"
in order to let it be known that they
were confirmed drinkers, and, also, they
garnished their loud talk with clumsy
swearing.
There are several kinds Of profanity,
and some of it is not only endurable,
but actually enjoyable, if you can dis
regard the question of morality. A
commander urging his soldiers in the
madness Of battle is not generally
blamed if he swcars little. cowboy
handling broncho, a boss canyasman
directing a circus gang" an impatient
man milking COW in flytime, u freight
brakeman who misses coupling or
bike rider who smashes his wheel ten
miles from repair shop may let out
string of expletives that are simply pic
turesque in variety and intensity. I
don't say that these men are justified in
giving vent to their feelings, but do
say that sometimes it is worth going
miles to hear them.
But abhor the swearing of the young
man who does not know how to swear.
He does not swear by impulse or from
habit. He has to struggle to accom-
plish anything. and he is half ashamed
of himself at the time. Under such cir
cumstances profanity becomes an ap-
palling wickedness, even to the most
hardened "rounder."
AS l sat behind those two boys and
listened to their noisy discussion of the
late orgies and their painful efforts to
impress us with their worldliness it oc-
Cured to me that 1t would be Il good
idea to take those two boys out and
have them photographed in their sum-
mer suits, with the flashy white felt
hats and rainbow cravats, and after
that let them talk for about 30 minutes
into photograph.
Twenty years from now, after they
have become seedy and hard-headed
married men, with growing children of
their own, it would give them cause for
reflection if they could take out these
photographs and study them and then
listen to their own conversation in the
photograph. No doubt they would ex-
claim: what spectacular badders we
must have bcen!"
The two boys on the train were fair
ly good types. ] have seen the same
kind of young man in every small town.
Sometimes my sense Of humanity
moves me to appeal to the young man.
I feel as if ought to go up to him and
say: "My dear boy, don't be so desper-
ate. Don't think because you worry
your mother that you are really bad.
There are thousands of young men in
this country who wear their hats pulled
forward and their cigars pointed up the
same as You have them, and they have
the same kind Of toothDick shoes and