The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1898-05-11
@ooleY to Ms
Cousin George

From the Chicago Journal.
WELL" said Mr.. Hennessy in tones of
chastened Joy, Dewey didn't do a
thing to thin. / hope tn poor la-ad
isn't cooped up there in Minneapolis"
"Niver fear said Mr.. Dooley. calm
ly. Cousin George is all fright"
Cousin George2" Mr.. Hennessy ex-
claimed.
Sure said Mr.. Dooley. Dewey or
Dooley, tits all tn same. We dhrop a
letter here IN there. except tn matches
we niver dhrop them-but we're tn
same breed X fightin' men. Georgy has
tn thraits Nv tn family. Me uncle
Mike. that vas a handy man-was tould
wanst he'd be stint to hell fr his many
sins, an he deserved 1t. fr lavin' out
the wan sin iv runnin away fr'ml
annywan he vas booked fr Everything
firm murdher to missin' mass. Well
he says. amy place / a get into he
says, L can get out w. he says. 'Ye
bet on that he says.
80 1t is with Cousin George. He
knew tn way i'm. an it's tn same way
out. He didn't go in be tn family in
thrance. sneakin' along with tn can
undher his coat. He left Ding Dong. or
WHATEVER tits we call 1t, an says he.
Thank Gawd.' he says, I'm where Nc
kinley can't give me his ideas Nv how
to r-run a quiltin' party an call II war;
he says. An so he stint a man down in
a divin' shute an cut tn cables, sos
Mack cuddent chat with him. Thin he
prances up to tn. Spanish forts an
hands thin a few oranges Tosses
thin out like a nan tthrowin' handbills
fr a circus. Take that, he says. AN
raymimber tn Maine he says. An he
goes into tn harbor. where Admiral
What-th'-'ell is, an, says he, 'Surrinder.'
he says. 'Niver,' says tn Dago. Well
says Cousin George. I'll just have to
push We %ar-round,' he says. An he
losses a few slugs at tn Spanyards-
TIL Spanish admiral shoots at him with
a bow and arrow an goes over an
writes a cable. This mornin' we was
attacked he a AM he says, we
fought tn inimy with great courage
he says. Our victhry Is complete he
says. We have lost ivrything we had
he says. TIL treachrous foe he says,
'afther destroyin' us. sought refuge be-
hind a mud-scow.' he says, but naw-
thin daunted US. What boats we cud-
dem run ashore we ~surrindered.' he
says. L can not write no more he
says, as me coat tails are afre,' he
says, an / am bravely but rapidly leap
in firm wan vessel to another, fol-
lowed be me valiant crew with a fire.
engine he says. If i can save me
coat tails, he says, they'll be no kick
COMM he says. Long live Spain, long
live mesilf.'
well, sir. in twinty-eight minyits be
tn clock Dewey he had all tn Spanish
boats sunk an hat there harbor look
in like a Spanish stew. Thin he r-run
down tn bay an handed a few warm
vans into tn town. He set 1t on fire
an thin whit ashore to war-rm his poor
hands and feet. 1t chills tn blood no.
- kox,o apxfhsno 20 dn pr an hntIY M
So"
Thin why don't he write something"
Mr.. Hennessy demanded.
Writer echoed Mr.. Dooley. Write?
Why shud he write. Dye think Cousin
George amt got nawthin' to do but to
set down with a fountain pen an write:
Dear Mack: At s o'clock 1 begun q
peaceful blockade iv this town. Ye can
see tn pieces iverywhre. 1 hope ye'er
injyin' tn same gr-reat blessin'. So no
more at prisint. Firm ye'ers thruly.
George Dooley.' He amt h a kind. It's
a nice day. and he's there. smokin' a
good tin-cint see-gar an hrowin' dice
FIR tn drinks. He don't care whetheu
we know what he's done or not. Ill
bet We whin we come to find out about
him we'll hear he's ilicted himself king
iv the Filipino islands. Dooley tn
wanst. He'll be settin' up there undher
Il pa III tuTte viii nuyBuhS hoAn
an a dhrop Nv lickar In tn hollow Nv mis-
arm. and hootchy kootchy girls danc-
in befure him, and livery tin or twinty
minyits some wan bringin' q prisoner
in. Who's this?' says King Dooley. "A
Spanish gin'ral.' says tn copper. Give
him a typewriter an set him to worruk,'
says the king. On with tn Dance he
says. An afther awhile. whin he gitS
tired Nv tn game. he'll write home an
say he's got tn islands. an he'll turin
thin over to tn governmint an go back
TO his shin. an Mark Hanna'l organizes
tn Filipino Island Jute an Cfdee
comp'ny. an tn rivolutchinists'n wish
they hadn't. That's whatn happen.
Mark me wurrud"