The Houston daily post. [volume] (Houston, Tex.) 1886-1903, 1898-06-05
HOW TO DO THE VA

War been runnin Gu three
Weeks now, ana we haven't 4
Had but one or two govI
Scraps. They ought 10 fight
Every day. That what
They ought to do.
] like to get up In tho
Morning and read about
a good. hot fight.
There's the Philippines!
Now Dewey done exactly vbas
said he'd do.
I've claimed all along that
II be could get past that
Battery or Whatever ii ix
At the entrance to the
Harhor OF the bay--anyway
That body of water next to
Manila-that he could ketch
That Spanish feet In
There and Just pump the
Everlastin' daylights out II
rho Spanish boats.
# come out just exactly
AS / said it would.
Why, i told my vito
Last week. said:
If Dewey ever gets EN-
Cornered there won't no
a thing to it, s'
Why. you see, II was
Cinch. He had-How
Many boats was it he hadf
Anyway, they're all right.
They're good boats. / knew
They were too much for that
spanish feet, with It's
Santa Something-or- Other, auA
That Don What You Call-It.
] looked that all up the
Other day. and | knew that
With little generalship
We had 'em licked.
Now, | want 'em TO let
Sampson go. If Mckinley tak.n
Ny tip he'll call in Sampson
And say: Bill, want yon
To coal up and start out
After them rats. Every time
You see a Spanish flag
You open UP with your
1hirteen-inchers and simply
Destroy land and water
For ten miles ground. I wAnl
You TO make Nero castle
Look like an ash. heay.
Ana II you can locate that
Spanish fleet anywhe.e or W
At any time you tell the
Boys Ut the guns to keep
On bangin away as long as
There's anything left that's
Big enough to he hit by
a bullet, and then ypu 90
Downstairs and make out
Your report. because youii
Know by that time what's
Coin to happen. When you
Come up again the smokeli
BE cleared away and
There won't be but ono
Fleet TO look at
That's what I'd say to
Bill Sampson IL | was
Only Mckinley.
Why. there's Bob Evans %
The roway. What do YOU
suppose he'd do II they'd
Ever give him the word to
Go? Say, he'd toss a few
~ them projectiles that'd
Go all the way through
Cuba and glance off on
South America or whatever
II Is below there.
He'd make fine-cut of all
The tobacco CROWN within
Forty miles of Havana.
Let's get action,
Id have every soldier N
The United States landed IN
Cuba before tomorrow night
And ia start $500 men
To the ilippines-whefevR
They are-so quick II would
Make your head swim.
In two weeks time Ia have
The Stars and Stripes floatin'
over the royal palace IN
Madrid, II that's the capital & M
Spain, and I'd have old
Weyler locked up In the
Booby-hatcn Twin on the
Same ratious that he used
To give them con-
Them somethtngs-anywoy,
The natives down there In
Pinar del Rio or somo
SUCH place.
Mckinley and Alger and
Long and the rest Of 'en
Down there at Washington
Have got me nearly tired
out Let's set fire to
Everything at once.
Dag gone II. let's touch OF
The whole bunch.
It's expensive, know, but
Who cares for FINANCES
AZ time like tnisr
don't know where the
Canary islands are. and
! don't care picayune, but
II they're in the way AID
Seem TO annoy any good
Patriotic American citizen.
Why, let's send that ram
The katy-did, the katoodtn,
OF whatever in Sam Hill
The name is. and have ths
Whole bunch Of islands
Pushed of the map.
I'm rot bloodthirsty
Man, and I feel kicd o.
Sorry for the queen roogent,
or vhntever they call her,
Over there in the old
Country. but then she's
a likely looking widow ana
! s'pose she'll manage to
Keep the wolf from the
Door, even II she has to 20
And marry some king that's
Workin'. Anyway, when
We start in to give
Torchlight procession aud
Set on n few fireworks we
Can't postpone the whole
Show just because some
Woman amt In sympathy
With the demonstration.
Let's make rough house from
One end OF Cuba to the other!
Give every Cuban a shotgun
and revolver and tell
tllm 10 go out and tnsurge.
Hurry up them cowboys that
Rosenfield or Roosevelt, or
Whatever In the dickens bis
Name Is. is goin' to take
Down there.
Start them In NJ one end
or the island and let 'em
Ride the whole length OF II,
Lettin' out few of them
ki-yis and when they reached
The other end the At,sntic
Ocean would be full OF
Snanish svimmin' north
And south.
oh, start something.
Start something, 80
-Gecige Az. In the Chicsso NJ
niIlviiie War Notes.
anita Constitution.
n Y