Mexico weekly ledger., 1898-03-10

a harsh, feeble, nasal tone, so that b.
hasn't that wild rush of animal spirits
and that leonine roar with which that
brawny Scotchman, General Henderson
Of Iowa, bears down his antagonists
much after the fashion of the troopers
Of his countryman, John Graham Of
Claverhouse.
Absolutely Devoid Of Fancy.
The governor has been a great stu
dent, combining his researches entirely
to economics. The field Of poesy, Of TO
ton, of romance, is to him a terra In
cognits. So when any OF his opponents
wandered into that rich and to him I'M.
explored domain for argument or illus
tration the governor was completely
nonplused.
1t was all Sanskrit to him when Judge
Terry of Arkansas enlivened the debate
with this piece of delightful humor
based on Mark Twain's most famous
character:
"While all this talk about prosper
ity' has been going on in the goldbug
and Republican press and on the floor
of this house the plain people of this
country and even those that gather in
the galleries to listen to these debates
are wondering where their share of it
comes in. The Mckinley ingley pros
perity we hear so much about on the
floor of this house and in the metropol-
titan press reminds me very much Of
that Mulberry Sellers kind that rests
mainly in the imagination Of those who
claim to enjoy it.
"That distinguished political econo-
mist commended, in substance, that If
you would take a lighted candle and
shut 1t up In a stove with isinglass doors
and have all the company gather round
and talk about what a delightful
warmth was given out everybody would
keep warm, and you would a the ex-
pense of coal. He also commended that If
you would take a peck Of raw turnips
and put them on the table and each of
the company would take a turnip and
begin to peel and eat and everybody talk
about what a delightful bill of fare it
was everybody would be well and sufi-
GENTLY fed, and you would save the cost
of any other food.
Now, the goldbug press has said
continually that if you would just cease
your calamity bowling and everybody
become a prosperity shouter' and say
Prosperity is here, 1t is thereto, it Is
everywhereP then prosperity would be
here. Now, you gentlemen may deceive
yourselves with that kind of candle
warmth prosperity, you may feed your
stomaehs ON that kind of raw turnip
banquet. but it is not going to satisfy
the plain people Of this country, and
when you hear the result Of the next
you will find out whether by
this Mulberry Sellers prosperity you
have succeeded in deceiving the Ameri-
can people. You will hear from them,
and don't you forget itp'
John Aliens Story.
It's a thousand to u that the GOV
never enjoyed q negro story in
his life, SO he glowered glumly while
Private John Allen convulsed the house
with this exquisite raillery:
IT speak for my own section, and I
must say that the prosperity that you
have told us SO much about reminds me
of a story. I do not put it on you as a
story, but I just give it to you on
account of its applicability. It is the
story Of the old darby who caught the |
postum, dressed him well and put him |
In the oven to bake and surrounded him |
with potatoes and then lay down to
sleep while he baked.
about the time the possum vas done
another slick little darby slipped in and
stole his postum and ate it all up. Then
he took the bones, put them down in
front of the old man, creased his lips
postum grease and put possum
grease over his fingers. When the old
man woke up, he looked and saw his
gone. He saw the bones lying
in front of him. He saw possum grease
On his fingers, he tasted postum grease on
his lips. and he said: Well, can 1t be
possibio DAT I eat dat possum while I was
1t do look like I must have eat
him, but, TO God, dat possum had less
effect on my constitution dan any pos
,um I ever eat!' You tell us about this
prosperity, and you produce your figures
here and make it look like prosperity,
put, TO- God, this prosperity has had
effect on u constitution than any
prosperity we ever had before in our
Thurston's Break.
Evidences of disintegration among
.he Mathematics accumulate rapidly.
Notwithstanding the force of the an
,ient saying, .'In vino veritas, !" I would
be understood as intimating that
John M. Thurston was under
'the influence recently at Baltimore.
it was in a Cassandralike
1ration between the walnuts and the
wine" at the opening of the gorgeous
clubhouse that he prophe-
lied to an astounded audience that the
will lose the next congress.
He may be both a theoretical Prohibi-
and a practical teetotaler, but IA
drunken helot" could not have blabbed
With more abandon than he did as to
Republican sshortcomings He must be
/ blood relation to Daniel, for, inter-
the handwriting on the wall
correctly, he has taken time by the fore
ock and announced that be doesn't de-
'ire a reelection to the senate. Oh, mol
Neither did Reynard want the grapesi
Fussing Financiers.
Ills whispered that Mr.. johnson of
Indiana and my venerable friend MI.
Walker of Massachusetts, had a jawing
match lately in the suppressed" COM
nittee on banking and currency which
would have made Bob Fitzsimmons and
lin Corbett green with envy.
A Busted Caucus.
The McHannaites can't even hold q
,auous without danger of explosion.
They tried it recently, but Hon. Row.
and Blennerhassett Mahany Of Buffalo
umped McHanna so savagely about how
10 was playing the deuce with the party
y distributing the pie unwisely that he
cared the rest Of the pie hunters SO that
Iguratively turning the hose on Mahany
hey adjourned-skedaddled absquatu-
,ted, vamoosed-all in 90 minutes by
town clock. CHAMP CLARK.
Relegate Boodlers to the Rear.