The herald., 1898-10-20
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.
} Mr. DeoIey o. TIE lndIss War !
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"Gin'ral Sherman was wan iv tn smart.
est men we iver had" said Mr.. Dooiey. ,I y
He said 80 nanny bright things. Twas
him said: War is hell, an that's wan iv
the finest sayin's l know anything about
sintiment. An Gin'ral sherman says: m
only. good Indyun is . dead Indyun.' An
that's good sayin', too. So, be the powers,
we've started in again TO improve tn race,
an If we can get in Gatlin guns enough be-
fure tn winter snows we'll turin thin Chip
peways into a cimitry branch " tn Young
aye see, Hinnissy, tn Indyun is bound f'r
to give way to tn onward march iv white
civilization. You an me, Hinnissy, 10 tn
white civilization. ! come along an find
Of Snakes-in-H His Caters livin' quite an da-
clint in new frame house. Thinks !: 'Tis
session iv this fine. abode, an him not able
f'r to vote an without frind on the polls
foorce.' So says I: Snakes l says, 'get
along, says l, i want yer house an We best
move out west iv tn thraoks an dig hole
f'r ye'erself, | says. Divvle tn fut will l
step out iv thi. house. says Snakes, I built
FIR why should take Mary Ann, an Ter
renee an Honoria, an Robert Immit Snakes
an all me little Snakes an rustic out west
iv tn thracks, he says, far frim tn bones
iv me ancestors he says, 'an beyond tn
watherpipe extension, he says. Because,
SAYS I, I am tn walking dilygate iv white
you,' says Snakes. 4 wear pants, he says,
an plug hat,,' he says: .Ye might wear
tin pairs, says I, AN all at wanst,' says,
AN yed still be a savage sayd l, AN I'd
be civilized, l says, If hadn't on so much
as bangle bracelet I says. SO get out,
says I, f'r tn pianny movers is outside
"Well, Snakes he fires stove lid at me
an ! 60 down to tn polls station an, says
l: Loot I says, 'they'se drunken In
dyun not voting up near tn mills an he's q
carryin' on outrageous an he won't let me
hang me pictures on his wall, says 1. Vile
savage, says the loot. IN tache him to
An he takes out a wagon load an goes oss
afther Snakes. Well, me frind Snakes gives
him battle, an KNOWN tn primises well
he's able to put up a great fight, but
efther awhile they rip him away an have
him in tn pathrol wagon with man sittin'
on bis head. An thin he's put undher
6t 6opds xf to = kaPs n they sind md him
house an tear out tn front an start a faro
bank; Some day whin get tired or tn
Swedes drive me out or Schwartxmeister
makes his lunch too strong fr competition,
I'll 60 afther Snakes again.
'Th' on'y hope f'r tn lndyun is to put
his house on rollers an keep a team hitched
FIR tn settin' sun. He's rooned whin he has
a cellar. He. ought to pull all tn plugged
dollars that he gets from tn agent an be
pickin' blueberries into rowlin' stock. If he
knew anything about balloons he'd have a
chanst, but we white men, Hinnissy, has all
tn balloons. But, anyhow. he's doomed,
as Hogan says. tn onward march iv tn
white civilization with morgedges an other
modhren improvements is slowly but surely
as Hogan says, chasin' him out, an tn last
iv him'll be livin' in a divin' bell somewhere
out in tn Pacific ocean,"
"Well,'" said Mr., Hennessy, the stout phi
lsnthropist, II think so, an thin again, 1
di?naw. ! don't think we threat thin
fright; If was tn government I'd take
what they. got, but I'd say: "Here, take this
tin. dollar bill an go out an dhrink ye-erseif
to death, I'd say They ought to have some
WELL" said Mr. Dooley, "If We feel that
way We ought to go an inlist as an Indyun. !"
Chicago Journal.