The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1898-01-12
HUMoR OF THE DAY.

He-"Darling, was there ever love
like ours?' She-"Well, not in my
experience. at last. Cincinnati En-
quirer.
The man who is entirely absorbedir
himself is not the only sponge in the
apothecary's shop. Saltwater (AIinn.)
Prison Mirror.
She-'I suppose you have had some
narrow escapes in playing football?"
He-'I have had some hairbreadth es
capes. Puck.
Miss Spokes-''What shall we have
for our club colors?" Mr. Pedalman-
'I guess black and blue will be all
right. Judge.
"Do the police suspect anybody OF
the murder?" "Yes." "Whom do
they suspect?" "Ohl they don't
know. ."-Roxbury Gazette,
When we discover the faults of our
friends we are happy; when we dis
cover the faults of our friends without
being happy we are great. Puck.
'She seems to be lacking in self,
confidence" "She is, shockingly sol
Why, she doesn't believe she can plan
q house better than an architect. -
Puck.
"After all your boasts, Mrs Dash,
you did not fire off your pistol at that
burglarP" Chow could L? He was
standing right in front of my new
stained glass window. Judge.
Miss Caustic-"Don't you think
monkeys are cute?" Blowdust-''No;
they remind me too much of some
people" Miss Caustic-"Oh, you
shouldn't be 50 sensitive. standard.
care you one of the strikors?'
asked the woman at the door. Eyes,
mum. Use pioneer in the movement.
struck thirty years ago, and I've
never give in yet."-London House
hold Words.
''What is your idea of fame?"
'Fame? Well, in the finest phase, l
think il is the incredulous surprise
which mans home folk exhibit when
he does anything noteworthy. De
iroit Free Press.
She-"Do You remember, Frank,
the night you proposed to me, I hung
my head aud said nothing?" He
''Do remember? Well, [ should
,ather say did! 1t was the last time
saw you act sol"
Hans-"And what do you think of
the origin of man? Don't you believe
man is descended from the monkey
Elizabeth-"Oh,y yes, think man Isl
but what puzzles me is where woman
came from. "-Standard.
Biggs-''When l was in Chicago
last August, 1 went skating on the
Chicago River" Boggs-"You don't
mean to say the river was frozen over
at that time?" Biggs-"Oh, no. We
used roller skates. Life
Tommy-"Mother, what is an
angelo" Mother-"An angel is be.
ing that flies" Tommy-"Bu mann.
ma, papa calls my governess an angel.
Mother -"Then, my dear, she is 60
ing to fly immediately. standard.
Mr.. Blinks-"The romance OF Nc.
Brides honeymoon lingers still, al
though he has been married five years.
Mrs. Jinks-"How do you know"
Mr.. Blinks-"He jokes with his wife
about her millinery bills. "-Tid-Bita.
'Has your Shakespeare Society
started in yet, Miss Jones?" eyes.
We met at Mrs. Wiggles's yesterday.
Miss Matilda Robinson read most
delightful paper on the Influence ol
Rosalind on Dress Reform. "-Har'
| per's Bazaar.
81 won't submit to being turned
away" said the disappointed arrival
at the hotel. "5ee here, I'm flush,
/ And he displayed n roll of bills. II
know" responded tho clerk; "but
I've got n full house, ,"-PhilNdelphia
/ North American.
Hunston-"rd like to go shooting
tomorrow, if 1 could only get q dog
that was well trained" Ethel-"Oh
I'll let you take Dottie, then? She
can stand on her head, and shake
hands, and play dead, aud say heI
prayers, aud do lots Of thinga"-
Puck.
First Thcspian-"When was play
ing Hamlet in Omaha and getting my
fifty a night, u" Second Thespiar
-"Hold on there. Jackl make thai
five" First Thespiau-"No, Tom,
pom me honor, fifty night regular.
Eggs are eheap out there. Harper g
Weekly.
Mr.. Woodware-"That young fel'
low you have in your Office is the most
conceited puppy I ever ran across. -
Mr.. Queeusware-''Ye', l know but
you must remember he is young yet,
aud his character is hot fully formed.
He has never been tried by fire" Mr.
Woodware-"Then you'd better tre
him. New York Weekly.
II Was a IIlondIlse Then.