The record-union., 1898-10-09

panied by fit of sneezing
'Drat the pepDer." was her intro
| ductory remark. Its up my nose, and
in my eyes, and everywhere
If it's all the same to you." put in
Mr.. Jebbings, with considerable trepi-
/ dation, IF it's all the same to you, p
But it amt. Peppers all very we'll
l-in its place; but pepper here, there, and
everywhere
I'm thinking of leaving you this day
week Tiff no objection he concluded
lamely.
"Bless US and save us ALL" ex-
claimed Mrs. Potter. dropping the
Waistcoat and apparently addressing
herself to an impalpable third party.
| why, what's that he's saying?"
"Goo-good night" answered Mr.
Jebbings, executing a retrograde move
ment in the direction of the staircase;
never mind about getting me cam
! die, and-I shan't be wanting any sup
per-
Here, you come back
| The words floated after him, anad had
the effect of making him quicken his
steps
Thank goodness, that's over,'' he
thought, as he bolted himself in. Il
| wish next week was over and done
with, too. Wonder whether she's TAX
! ing on much?"
Somebody's bin and put him up 10
this, reflected the lady. We'll, after
all, l dunno's it matters much"
| 1t was fourroomed house, two
down stairs and two up. The one for
oh Mr Jahh
was at the back, overlooking a patch
! Of kitchen garden inclosed by a high
unmortared stone wall which looked as
though it only wanted a good shove to
make the whole thing collapse into
heap of dust and rubbish. There was
a pigstye in the furthest lefthand
corner and some early fowls were
clucking around after early worms. 1t
was a fine morning, and Mr.. Jebbings
| admired the limited but promising
prospect in the intervals Of his toilet.
Them peas is coming on wonderful"
he unused. Reckon they'll soon be
| tit for picking, and with billed gam
mon o bacon Ghis last suggested by
mellif1uous grunts in the direction of
the stye) there'd be dinner for the
Lord Mayor. Take her all round and
give her her doc, she's a fine fgger of
a woman, though a trifle run to fat,
and the best hand at Yorkshire pud-
den I've come acrost since 1 lost pore
mother. Wonder what she's got for
| breakfast? Hullo! What's up with
the door?''
Then he remembered that he had
bolted it over night. He drew back
the bolt, but still the door refused to
open, though he shook and showed Wig
orously. He was glad to hear a sub
stantial tread upon the stairs. and
hailed it's owner through the keyhole
Something's gone wrong with the
door-it's stuck somehow sos 1 can't
open it,
No, 'tain't,' was the answer. It's
| locked, that's what's the matter with
| it,
That's queer" said Mr. Jebbings:
Il never locked it not to my knowl-
| edge
But I did, was the startling reply.
| Il locked it, and the keys in my pock-
| ct, and there it's going to stop till you
knows your own mind"
| And with that she turned and creaked
down the stairs again.
Here's a pretty howdy do" OBJ
| served Mr.. Jebbings, as soon as he
| grasped the situation. Bin and
| locked me in! What a soft I were to
| go and leave the key on the outside.
How'm 1 going to get out? There's
| the winder, but I'm afeard that's too
small. Like enough I'd stick halfway
| or pitch on my ed. And there's the
| chimley; but that's the same, only
| wuss. 1 reckon I'll jest have to wait
till she comes round. 'Stonishing how
sharp set 1 am this morning, too"
| A fragrant frizzling which was be-
ginning to be waited upward and steal
| through the chinks of the door rem
| dered the circumstances doubly ag
gravating.
| "Sausages, I shouldn't wonder" he
commented despondently. "Lor, how
could relish a couple. Seems like a
year since I had a good meal. Why,
| no wonder I'm SO peckish-I never had
no supper last night. If I'd a-knowed,"
! he added, gloomily, I'D a-laid in a
/ stock O. vittlesl to last
The sound Of cooking died away, and
was succeeded by a cheerful clatter
of plates and knives and forks.
''She's making all the racket she can
| a-purpose," exclaimed Mr. Jebbngs,
| wrathfully. Il won't listen.''
But he soon tired of sitting with his
| fingers in his ears
'I'n take and kick the door down,
blamed if 1 WON'T" he declared furi-
| ously.
| So he kicked-kicked hard and reck-
lessly-withl the result that in less than
| half a minute later he was sitting on
the floor nursing his foot and loudly
| matchmaking widows in general and
Mrs. Potter in particular, so that the
voice of thei latter speaking outside the
door took him quite by surprise.
Yes, you may kick, Joshua Jebbings,
| only remember whatever damage you
does you pays for. And you can cuss
N swear, too, if you find it helps you
any. Hungry, are you? Serves you
| right. S'pose you thought you was
going to carry on jest as you liked,
and then sneak off with a weeks no.
tice. That's where you made a mis-
take. I amt no worm to be trampled
on, I amt. So there you stops till you
thinks better of it,
well. this is pretty state O.
things" Mr.. Jebbings assured himself,
as his jailer departed, after having
hurled her ultimatum through the
hinges. Who'd ever although she'd
turn out like she've done? Why. her
apple dumplings was fit to melt in yer
| mouth. I don't say but what if I'd bin
thinking o getting married / mighn't
a done wuss. But then, I don't hold
with being hurried and drove into it
let alone locked and bolted''
The morning wore away somehow