The record-union., 1898-11-18
FIRST FISHING STORY.
Prehistoric Man inflicted One on
Prehistoric Woman.

Prehistoric Woman.
1t was when prehistoric mar
roamed over the thick forests Of the
world, and successfully maintained the
right to fish in any stream or lake
that he first learned to romance. Be-
fore that time he was too thick headed
to tell lie, but there Is something
about fish that stimulates the brain;
the phosphorus, perhaps we never
thought of that before anyhow, no
sooner did prehistoric man take to a
fish diet than he began to tell lies. Pre-
historic woman was the first victim
who had to hear these inventions
Then in prehistoric volapuk she would
say:
us that all? Why, they're not worth
cooking. Youth have to be content
with ffied snails on bananas again
Penelope" he would cry, 'you
should have seen the one I lost-it was
the biggest fish ever saw. You know
that mastodon that I nearly killed the
other day?"
you mean the one you ran away
from, and was so frightened over
THAT wasn't fright, silly; that was
excitement, and as to running away, ]
only came to tell you to have look,
and you were so slow that it got away
before / could club it-well, never mind
about that now, but the fish I lost was
bigger than a mastodon-much bigger.
Go along" Penelope would say as
she did up the last curling leaf and
patted it straight, and then began to
brush her back hair with a hedgehog.
Fact ;qeyou don't believe me just be-
cause I'm, your husband. A man never
has any profit in his own home. But
this Is the solid truth. I was fishing
with one of these little tiddlers for
bait, and the trout came along and
snapped it up. I'd only got a hair
line"
Where is he, then, Adair Fitz-
baboon?"
Cant you let fellow finish what he
has to say? AS soon as I'd got him to
the bank I saw Jack, the biggest
ever saw
"But that isn't as big as a masto-
dom"
LOOK here, Penelope and the pre-
historic man rose angrily, s'if you in
terrupt me again shall tell you moth
ing. Did / say that the jack was as
big as a mastodon?"
well, don't get angry, Adair; go on
with your story while give baby his
supper"
"Pshaw! You make me wish I'd new
er married. For the last time, I baited
my hook"
80, baited."
"Yes, baited now do you under
stand? baited my hook with the ten
pound trout"
"Seyen pounds, you said"
"eWell, seven, If you like. Perhaps
you weighed it?"
mo, but you said seven, and why
can't you stick to the truth?"
Madam, do you mean to accuse your
husband of being liar?"
I'm sure I never said so, Adair'
sYou implied it-that's worse. Now
don't interrupt me again"
Eyes. go on, Adair; I'm listening, =
and prehistoric woman began to sing
Lullaby baby ON the treetop,
Hold by your tail or else baby will drop.
Prehistoric man sprang once more
to his feet and cried angrily:
Enough. madam, you are becoming
more like your mother every day. was
going to say I caught that jack, 1t
weighed ia pounds. I baited my hook
anew with it. and with it caught q
salamander weighing seventeen hun
dred-weight and more; again baited
my hook and nearly caught a fish OF
the genus Placcodorous cramensorus
which weighed 1O2 tons and more.
had got it clear out of the water when
the line broke; I lost it and my bait
as well. / was going to tell you all
this. but now I shall say nothing
Nothing. madam, you understand
nothing. I shall go to my club and
you needn't sit up for me-" and ne
walked away, and prehistoric woman
said softly under her breath to baby:
What a beautiful book papa could
write if he wished" d."-Pick-Me-Up.