Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1898-04-20

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NOW, papa, dear, when Mr.. Timmons
calls on you, don't be hasty." "Hasty?
l guess not. I've been thinking what
I'd do to him for more than month";
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
"Stebbins's wife Is going to make him
so in for geology whats that for?"
'She can't make him keep himself tidy.
and she thinks IL he is scientific, 1t
won't be noticed" d."-Chicago Record.
She-Here is such a pretty little story
in the paper about how Edison came to
marry. He-I wish some of these
bright young journalists would explain
how l came to marry.
Journal
Here, my DEAR" said the far-sighted
husband, put this money in the stock
Ing for a rainy day" SO she bought u
pair, and they really looked lovely on
Chestnut street yesterday. Philadel'
phia Record.
rs 1t superstition that makes you
burn the feathers after cleaning u
chicken, uncle? have noticed you do
Ing so on several occasions" mo sup
erstition, sab; jes' wisdom. ."-lndlanap-
oils Journal
Frlend-Poetry is drug ON the mar
ket. isn't 1t? Poet-I should say not!
Frlend-Then am mislnformed. Poet
Your informant probably never tried
to sell poetry or buy drugs.
Commercial.
Pm troubled about that draft from
the West" said the head of the firm.
The office boy hurrledly closed the tran
som and then looked as If he expected
an immediate advance In salary.-De
troit Free Press.
Bridget, you've broken as much
china this morning as your wages
amount to. Now, how can we prevent
this occurring again" "Oi don't know.
mum, unless yez raises me wages
Pearson's Weekly.
Mr.. Snowman" said an inquiring In
dividual at the menagerie, "can the
leopard change his spots?' Yes, SIR"
replied the individual who stirs up the
wild beast; ''when he Is tired OF one
spot he goes to another. ."-Tit-Bits.
Stranger--I notice that when you an
nounce your text your congregation all
make note of the verse and chapter.
Parson-Yais; dey takes down de num-
Der of de verse and chapter to make
policy combinations out ob.-Puck.
Employer-You were late this morn
ing, Henry. Office Boy-Yes, sir. EN-
ployer-Did you forget to mention 1t to
me? Office Boy-No, sir. But didn't
want to deprive you of the pleasure OF
being the first to speak of it.-Boston
Transcript.
Pm proud of you," said the head Of
the firm; Il have letters from all over
Kansas saying that they have seen our
samples. How in the world did you
manage it?" and he patted the travelling
man on the back. Cyclone.
Free Press.
Wife-What's the matter, dear? Hus-
band-I had a chance to bet ten dollars
on 'sure thing this afternoon. Wife
And you didn't do 1t? Well, no mat
ter. Getting money by betting isn't
Husband-You don't understand. did.
Chicago News.
A Georgia man who went to Alaska
to dig gold writes home from Dawson
City: You may expect me In Georgia
as soon as my clothes thaw enough for
me to get my hands in my pockets ana
reach the money to pay for my ticket
Atlanta Constitution.
Mrs. de Temper am not happy
with my husband. Shall l drive him
away? Lawyer-His life is insured In
YOUR favor, isn't it? Mrs. de Temper
Yes; made him do that before we mar
ried. Lawyer-Well, don't drive him
off. He'll die quicker where he is.
you will marry tall, dark gentle
man." said the fortune teller, eXamln-
ing the lines In the fair hand. THAT
doesn't help me any, despairlngly re-
piled the lovely blonde who had called
to consult her; "all six of them are tall,
dark gentlemenv'-Ch Chicago Tribune.
In the Klondike: First Citlzen-That
lady journalist who just came In from
the States seems to be an authority on
economy. Second Citizen-How Is thatE
First Citizen-She has an article IN
the Chilkoot Courier on "How to Live
on Twelve Hundred a Week."-Puck.
II s'pose you got Bible you'll let
guy look into" said one of the two
tough young men who had called OH
the minister. with pleasure, my
Young friend. II can be of any assist
ance to you-" "Nah, got to see fer
meself: dis is to decide bet."-Indian-
apolis Journal
Miss Mugg--l don't see how 1t is your
sister failed to find me at the station.
You said you would describe me TO her.
infatuated Lover (who sees good deal
more In Miss Mugg than others cah)--
Yes, told her to look for beautifui
y T.. H.. nd