The state herald., 1898-02-25

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clothes and Copp got mine, and there
was a little matter of fifty gold pieces
in my pocket. which Copp appropri-
ated.
But that was n trile to my other
misfortunes: Copp's body walked of
with my head to the paper-weight and
pounce-box department; while l was
left with Copp's brains on my shoul-
ders. and military career before me,
for which had neither the muscle
nor the inclination.
The day after Joined the army,
some one whom Copp's head had in
suited some time ago called on me ana
kicked my body.
II you, my gentle reader. are as
muddle-headed as the rest of the world.
you may find 1t difficult to follow tho
course Of this true narrative. It is
generally supposed that the head con-
trolls the body. That Is n mistake.
Copp's head would have had its own
way, II had not nterfered. was
not going to have my body put to moro
inconvenience than ! could help. A,
1t was, his head got me into quite trou-
BILE enough.
My head, meanwhile. was doing all
1t could to help Copps carcass to get
on In the world. You have no idea
what exercrably bad handwriting
Copp's body had; Whereas mine had
always been perfect picture. so regu-
lar. so round. so neatly finished on
with dotted is and crossed is, and all
the commas where they ought to be.
But, after all. It mattercd little. Be-
fore Copp's head got tackled on to my
body, my head and body combined had
laid the foundation OF fortune which
that miscreant's unworthy carcass was
destined to enjoy. No sooner had
Copp's body usurped my ofIice-chair
than deputatlon waited upon 1t from
the great grand duchess. and bestowed
upon 1t vacant seat In higher de-
partment OF the civil service.
From that time forward honors were
literally heaped upon my head. and
Copp's body got all the benefit OF
them.
Copp's body was feasted and feted.
II rolled In luxurious carriages, II
lolled In voluptuous ease: while my
body was marching with the troops.
badly clothed, worse fed and half the
time without any boots; for that ter
rible struggle between our duchy and
the duchy next door, which is now
page OF history. was then commencing.
What had my body got to do with
such matters. should like to know?
My hand. which had hitherto but
welded pen. had now musket
thrust into II. and everybody hut my
self was much surprised to find what
bad shot was.
MY regiment marched onward. I
hung behind. The general called after
me. and came llmplng up.
Copp's head had always had rather
n bad name for drink and dcbnuchery.
but these faillngs had been excused be-
cause he was good soldier. You can
imagine what a rage Copp's head was
In when | missed the target. bunglei
over my sword practice. and even
marched out OF step.
1t presently came to n pitched battle
between Cops head and my body.
wholly disapproved OF Copp's heads
moral principles. One thing | object
ed TO was that 1t would keep drinking.
My body was not accustomed to strong
liquor. and II made II III.
Copp's head also wanted to carry
on with the other sex. wouldn't
stand It. Copp's head winked at the
other sex. said II shouldn't. II per-
sisted. said II 1t did II again. In
revenge | would shave of It's mus
tachlos. 1t did II again. and ! clutch
ed II by the nose and shaved them on.
I'd have cut his head OF altogether
for two pins.
To spite my body. Copp's head re-
fused food. and clcnched Its teeth all
dinner-time. | was determined then.
II II wouldn't swallow anything on my
account. II should not do so on Its own:
so upse, all the wine and beer It
asked for. This style OF quarreling.
though. grew presently TO be rather
ridiculous, and we made It up again.
But very soon Cops head began go
ing on worse than ever. His leerings
at the opposite sex have already al
luded to. and this. with certain forward
persons OF the sex aforesaid. more than
once got me into good deal OF ,rou-
BILE.
That. however. to which most
strongly objected. was his strong
language. He took 10 calling his
brother officers Thieves aud liars. and
some OF them didn't like H.
As expected they would. one OF
them at last challenged me TO fight.
copp's head chose swords; and the re-
suit was that copp's heads antagonist
ran me through my body.
write this upon my dca,h-bcd. ! am
as resigned as can be with the reiicc-
tIon that my body will suffer the tor
mcnts which. without that fool OF
doctors error. would have been ro-
served for tho body Of Copp.
Ono thing consoles inc In my dying
agonics copps head IN aching dread
fully.
But 7 cannot die In peace when I
reflect that me- body will be buried
under the Impression that II belonged
to copp. and that the graycstono will
bear copp'a hated name.
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