The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1898-11-30
HUMOR OF THE DAY,

HuMOR OF THE DAY.
Tho Rhymester-"Poets, sir, are
born" The Editor-"Not in the
last fifty years. Indianapolis Jour.
nal.
Whenever a girl tells young man
that her dress is made of material that
doesn't rumple that ought to be suffi-
cient-Chicago News.
Kirby tells me he walks in his
sleep" ''How remarkable He doesn't
do anything but sit around while he
is awake. Chicago Record.
Cholly-"Aw-I always pity man
who lives by his wits, doncherknow?"
Miss Sharpe -'I should think you
would envy him. Brooklyn Life.
She-"I believe 5000 can make a
good deal of trouble in this world"
He-"'That's the amount you paid for
the piano for your daughter, isn't it?"
81 can't understand what the
ancients saw in their pottery to ad-
mire." "Nor 1. OF course it wasn't
antique in their time. Detroit Jour-
nal.
He-"How do you know that Jones
has come into money!" She-"Why,
formerly people always said he was
crazy; now they say hc is original"
Standard.
"Why did William throw over that
charming little modiste he wasin love
with?" Because, he said the men
would all shun him if he was dress
makers Bill. "
Teacher-"In this stanza, what is
meant by the line-'The shades OF
night were falling fast?'" Bright
Scholar-"The people were pulling
down the blinds. Tit
"Willison's wife is such O womanly
goman," said the gossipy boarder.
''Poor Wilson said the Savage
Bachelor, and relapsed into his usual
grim silence. ce.-Cincinnati Enquirer.
A brook, hook,
A shady nook,
WISH a fish,
sudden swish,
Sigh, lie
Next day-why?
Chicago News.
"How did the fire start?" "In the
laberdasher's store. The theory OF
the insurance companies is that one
Of the new fall neckties and pair OF
golf stockings got crossed. Chicago
Tribune.
The Elder-"You 10 not pay enough
attention to your business. You know
jhe proverb says a man must put his
band to the plow." The Younger
"But that might mean hired hand"
indianapolis Journal.
"What do you call that eminence?"
asked the tourist. 1--WE don't call it
nothing" answered Pieface Johnson.
''That there, guess, is the only bluff
in this country that amt tbeon called"
Cincinnati Enquirer.
"The man that marry" she said,
''must be one who always thinks be-
fore he speaks" "Then," replied
the young gentleman at whom the
shaft had been aimed, 81 guess he'll
never ask you. ."-Cleveland Leader.
Lady-"And what does your father
do?" Little Girl--"Oh. papa is
Doctor" Lady-"Indeedl suppose
he practices great deal, does he
not?" Little Girl--"Oh, no. He
doesn't practice any more. Heknows
how now"
Bride-'I'm so afraid people will
find out that we're just married that
I've made Will promise to treat me in
public just as if he had no thought
for any one but himself" Matron-
81 adopted that plan when 1 was
married, and my husband never got
over it."-Tit-Bits.
A newspaper down in Maine, in tell
ing of the death Of man through
being struck by railroad train, adds
that sit will be remembered that he
met with similar accident year
ago." 1t is to be hoped that the habit
which he appears to have contracted
will not become chronic. -Phlla'
delphia Inquirer.
The Buffalo widow who chad pleas.
ure" in thanking her friends for their
attention during the fatal ILLNESS of her
late husband" is paralleled by the
Wichita girl who is acting as army
nurse at Fort Mcpherson. She writes
that she "has twenty typhoid fever
cases under her care and is delighted
with her work. "-Rochester Herald.
~ struck a new one the other day."
said the man who is about to move,
"when went to see house of which
a faithful Irishman was custodian.
Too small, too small, l said, as soon
as saw the place. Go aisy, sorr, he
replied, till 1 show yez trough. Iezu
foind the house much larger ON the IN
side that it is on the outside, sorr.
Detroit Free Press.
The Mother-in Law In New Britain.