Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1898-03-13

the word has come into frequent use as
soothing syrup for individuals who would
otherwise be called hideous. IL is pretty
much the same way with the expression
distinguished" looking. A man whose
face would break the Sabbath and who
may possibly realize that he is no para
gon of beauty, consoles himself with the
belief that he has a distinguished" air.
Were he to investigate the use OF this
word he would find that 1t was frequently
applicable TO conductors, fakirs, An
archists, and side-show managers.
The poor, Insignificant, homely little
girl who is a compulsory wall-hower at
all the germans doubtless realizes that
something is the matter with her popu-
larity, but it never occurs to her that
it's her face. She keeps telling herself
that she has sweet. refined look" and
that the men shun her because she's so
reticent and diffdent. 1t never occurs
to her that she has a long nose, and
sticky-looking arms, and is not fat.
Verify, II forced to do so, she could point
out fifteen or twenty other lasses who
would win the ugly folks cup in a can
ter over him.
And then, there Is the red-headed girl
with the cross eyes and the face that
would crack ice, whose uncertain optical
You would talk to her out Of mere pity
and sympathy, but her eyes seem at so
much variance with each other that you
never know when you have attracted her
attention. Does this girl tear her
auburn" hair because she is SO hope
lessly homely? Not bit OF IL. On the
contrary, she Is very serene and con-
tented, for she fancies she Is literary"
looking, and that merit, she thinks, far
exceeds the charm OF beauty Best be
the sweet self-satisfaction that has saved
us so many hours of agony Thanks 20
that concet which breeds complacency
and always give US some fine quality OF
which the world is envlous. We have yet
to hear Of the woman who committed sui
eide because she thought that she was
hideously; irreeeemably, and hopelessly
ugly And the men-why, such a thought
never even enters their brain.
New York Journal, which prldes It
self on its accuracy and nceties in gram
mar, is waglng war on the expression, !
In our midst" which we so frequently !
hear. The editor OF this newspaper al |
leges that when we say, I'VE have in our
midst very popular preacher" or what |
not, we mean to imply that the minister |
in question is in our interior Several |
have been quoted against |
this uncomfortable Interpretation, and |
eminent authorities have been brought |
into evidence to justify the use OF the
expression, but the New York journal is
Inexorable. and its editor still bravely
holds his own. He evidently believes in
taking things literally, and scouts the
maxim: "Usus norma loquendi" If the
whale that swallowed Jonah had been
mammal he at least |
could have used the expression with
degree Of accuracy that would have
satisfied even the editor alluded 70. That
whale could. with perfect propriety, have
said (usns the editorial pluraD that I'VE
nave in our midst prominent gentle
man," etc. So, also could that famous
ion that devoured its keeper. This beast,
iftar applying himself externally TO the
Unfortunate individual, was killed and
shipped to the members OF the dead
mans family. When they opened the
,Ox they saw only the remains OF the
lon. Where, OH where, is our poor
lead Charles?" they cried and they were
old that he was Gin the lion"
Gentle reader, have you ever expert
need those awful occasions when YOU
Wished the earth would open I'D and
wallow you-when you really felt that
ou deserved to be swallowed I'D or
therwise punished in the most cruel J
orm? Haven't you been out in society
{ times when you were doing your ]
cry level best to make yourself pleasant. 1
nd when, notwithstanding these super
uman efforts, you said exactly the
grong thing? Haven't you seen moments ,
your life when you wished you had a ! {