New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1898-12-23

There Is a sort Of audacty" says a woman in
"The Chicago Inter Ocean" which is almost adj
mrabIe | really felt provoked when the conductor
on a North Side car persstent,y carried me two
blocks beyond my destination. especially as had
been theoretically signalling lin for several MIN
utcs. Why did you not stop when you saw me
waving my hand? | demanded. The conductor me
was young goodooking and Irsh) bowed low
in contrition But. upon me honor. ma'am
thought ye was throwing me a kiss he said
Crimsonbeak-Let me see; didn't they send
NewYork man down TO see about cieahihs the
streets Of Havana?
well. it wouldn't be bad idea II they sent
up from Havana, just now to see about clean
ing the streets of New-Y ."-(Yonkers States
man.
In one Of the back counties Of South Texas is n
negro doctor. who enjoys a or less extensive
practice among the colored population. which com
poses n majority of the citizenship. A white ply
stefan accosed him the road the other day, say
ing Well Dr. Sam. where have you BEEN
Been TO see Bill Johnsng. sab. He was wrasn'
wild Nose Jones an bus bloodwessel."
Indeed that's serious, What did you prescroe?"
"Ah! done fix him all RICH, wild alum and gum
arabic. Alum to draw dee pants togeddah and de
gum to stick en-.
covered
Mrs Smarte says her husband is the worst man
that ever to go shopping Hes almost sure 70
get
was only tother day that he bought nule, s si
when ii came home. If you'll believe II, twas iuii
OF holes "-(Boston Transcript
A Washington merchant tells The Star" that on
arriving at Havre he telegraphed to Paris engaS-
ing hotel rooms and cabed home to Washington re-
porting his arrival When he reached Paris. three
hours later he found a cabegram Of congratula-
tions from the people home. but the Parts tele-
gram was not delivered until an hour later.
The story Of the ca ndidate for oxford echo.-
arship who requested the head Of the house to
find him lodgings and meet him on his arrival by
train reminds a correspondent of tale that was
current some ten years ago at oxford a "elsh
of the dean Mrs Liddell to inquire why his socks
had not been darned-(London Chronicle.
THE World" yesterday announced a rather
startling piece OF news to its readers Speaking OF
the funeral of the Rev Thomas Mckee Brown. 1t
declared that the event would mark the reunion
of the Anglican and Protestant Episcopal
churches" But II failed to give any details of the
reunion as for instance whether the Archbishop
of Canterbury the Presiding Bishop of the
Episcopal Church is hereafter TO be the ecclesias
teal head OF the united Church.
AS usual his mother asked him what he had
learned at school that day . .,
I'VE learned about the kindergarten coors." he
The what" she demanded.
THE kindergarten colors," he repeated.
What in the world the kindergarten colors?"
'Hoi Don't you know that he returned scorn-
fully Why orange green bue"-
"Oh. you mean the primary colors" she ex-
What's the dinerence?' he inquired.-(Chi
Post.
THE Owinesville Ky) outlook" says: Some
people object to hunters that come from the cities
with two-seated carriages. $50 dogs and $50 guns
but they are quite help to the rural district just
the same. They generally waste all their ammu-
milton and then buy their game OF some little farm
er lad with a 5o-cent dog and an old Zulu gun, and
by so doing bring money In the country
THAT youngest hoy OF yours does not seem to be
credit to you Sd Inc M We e 10 tbe e wstss
chile eo Sf has. she lie is mighty bad Hes de white
sheep Of de family. sah."-(l3oston Journal
'rhe Cleveland Plain Dealer tells of a small boy
who got tired OF saying his prayers regularly and
struck.
oh but Willie" his mother objected. you must
say them God will punish you
The youngster thought deeply for moment
Then he looked up brightly.
II tell you what mamma" he announced in MS
sweetest tones Il guess | can stand a lickin'. 30
III just go one night without sayin' EN-. an then
II there don't anything happen. why I'll be all
right It's just a 'speriment. See!'
what do you like best OF anything In the Year,"
asked Of a small Detroit boy a day or so ago.
Why Don't you like Christmas better than any
Nav. You get so much candy; morc'n you want
And what do you want for Christmas"
Skates.
But YOU already have pair"
II know II. but want some more: you can't get
too much skates"
II is useless arguing with the small boy; he
knows what Wise child, he is better off
than some OF his eders.-(Detrolt Free Press.
'Once upon n time" says The Houtzdale PENN
Journal" "a man got mad at the editor and
stopped the paper. In few weeks he sold his
corn a: four cents less than the market price Then
his property was sold for taxes because he didn't
read the Sherns sale lie paid $40 for a lot OF
forged notes that had been advertised two weeks
and the public warned against them He then
rushed to the printing office and paid several years
subscription I'm advance and had the editor sign
All agreement that he to knock him down II he
ordered his paper 20 be stopped again
The facetious man ambled glngerly over the icy
pave.
''These are the times that try mems soles, he
called TO "A passing friend lie threw heavy en-
phasis on the 'soles' and the friend smiled
Al that moment the punstcr's feet New from
under him and ne came down with rcsoundins
thwack. 49,, , ~
II see" said the passing friend with much grav-
ity that the seat OF the soul Is stu mat
ter o. ."-(Cleyelapd Plain Dealer