Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-02-07
A man must toll ere pleasures thriD

n ndu lIuSI lOu pressure AuIlb
Relieves this life so vexcd.
You've got to pedal up one hill
Ere you can coast the next.
Washington Star.
| Medium-The spirit of your wife Is
here, and says she never dreamed of
such happiness since you two parted.
The Man-Tell her feel the same way.
Wheeler-I see they have been trying
bicycle ambulances. Walker-I thought
these scorchers would make something
Of the kind cessary.-Cincinnati En-
guirer.
Suburbs-I am not at all good enough
for you, dear. Miss Boston-i'm glad
you confess it before we We're married.
You're not the fellow for me.-Boston
Courier.
81 often experience shock of dlsap-
pointment when l get up close to some
apparently beautiful woman Prob
ably they feel the same way about
you.'-Chicago Record.
Hungry Higgins-As fur eight hours
being enough for days work
Weary Watkins-It amt. Any man
who'll do days work orter git six
months.-Indanapo Journal.
Julia had her husbands photograph
taken with his head stuck in news
paper" "Why did she do that?" "She
said that was the way he always look
cd to her when he was at home"
Heidi you tell your father that I
would kill myself if l couldn't have
you? She-Yes. He-What did he say:
She-He said that settled it. You
couldn't have me.-Chicago News.
Jack-Where's Bill now? Jill-Out
West. What doing:' Raising
palms." "Doing what" Raising
palms-making the tenderfeet throw up
their hands. ."-Yonkers Statesman.
History repeats itself" said the man
who is full of wise saws. Il know it
does" replied his morose friend.
That's why I'm beginning to kind of
lose interest in base -ball.'-Washing
ton Star
Sad about the Duzenstickers."
whats the matter?" They've lived
aoesSthSi hitNNh Ntaic. iut lIty utNcl
had quarrel until lately, when they
bought bicycles of different makes."-
J Chicago Record.
| What in the world is Smithers build.
| ing on the lot next door," "A cold stor.
| age house." ITO keep his meats and
groceries from spoiling?" NO; to keep
his daily supply of ice from melting
away. y."-Cincinnati Tribune.
Marriage" said the puffy man,
made me what am to-day. Marriage
is the mighty engine of civilization"
''Then," remarked McCorKer. you are
not self but machine made, suppose"
Philadelphia North American.
Thought you said Frank and George
agreed In politics?" so they do"
We'll, they argue over it every time
they meet" That's because they don't
| know what it is they agree on"-New
| York Sun.
City Man-Ths must be a very
healthy place, judging from the num-
| ber of old people have seen here! Ma
| tive-Healthy? It's so blamed healthy
| lllut SutsS al Soob manly VI Gil W III
have to be shot on the judgment day
Puck.
women are naturally incredulous,"
| remarked the whist player. That's
contrary to the common impression"
| Il don't care; it's true. You never can
! make one believe you the first time
! you tell her what are trumps. Wash,
| !ngton Star.
Wheeler-Haye you learned to make
the repairs on your wheel yet? Sprock
No; never shall either l haven't a
, bit of mechanical genius. 'Oh, yes,
! you have" Indeed l haven't could
not even invent Il car coupler. r."-Cincin-
natl Enquirer.
! Mrs. Wickwire-Don't you ever make
even the slightest attempt Mt manual
labor? Dismal Dawson-Mum. | am
,ivin' the way / am on a bet. | got a
wager of $4,000 up that l kin live
eighty years without workin' Indian
apolis Journal.
First Thespian-When | was playing
Hamlet in Omaha and getting my fifty
night, / Second Thespian-Hold
On there, Jack! make that five. First
Thespian-No, Tom, 'pon me honor,
City night regular. Eggs are cheap
out there.-Harper's Weekly
ITS threequarters of an hour since
ordered that turtle SOUP snapped
the angry guest at the restaurant. Yes,
sah," said the waiter, with an obse.
luious bow, but de turtle done make
his 'scape, sab, an dey had to chase
him bout Il mile, sah."-Detroit Free
Press.
| Never touched him: at looks like
! rain to-day" said the affable mlllman,
as he dumped the regular quart into
the pitcher 1T always does,' said the
woman, and the millman drove off
wondering why some people take such