davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-02-07

representative King is pushing his
bin to open the Uncompahgre asphalt
tum lands to entry under the general
mineral laws. Secretary Bliss viii op-
pose this and his opposition viii doubt
less have considerable weight with
Republican members of the house.
There is no more reason why the as
phaltum lands should be exempted
from the operation Of the mineral laws
than coal lands should be. or any other
mineral lands as Cor that matter. of
course the asDhaitum lands are valu-
able but so are coal and other min
eral lands. All the alleged soIcitude
about the interests of the government
in the asphaltum lands only causes a
smile. What syndicate scts to get
the lease on these lands2
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-02-07
SOME EDITORIAL COMMENTS.

Chicago Times-Herald: Henry Martin,
an attache of the American consulate in
land liar and has challenged him to
hight duel. Sir Henry repnes that he
cannot night a man of Martin s reputa-
ton; The American is said TO be a very
Sooo shot and an excellent swOrdSman.
st. Louis Globe-Democrat: In the whole
OF New England last year only 80 miles
OF steam railroad was built while in
extended "A miles, nakiug a total in that
state of 3s5 miles. The trolley is an inter-
estlng quantity IN Runway aIIairs-
Seattle Post-Intelligencer: Lynch law
is not law at law; but is sometimes per-
feet Justice. There is nothing to do but
10 applaud the act of the Copper river
pioneers who hanged the cowboy after
ms unprovoked and cowardly murder of
Two men. There was no dispute about
the facts, and the motive of the homi-
cloe was obvious. There is no law on
copper river except the law of might,
and when the law of might is admins
tered by men who are actuated by high
sense of duty and responsibility. and
who take steps in the absense of due
legal process. it is entirely justified.
Boston Journal: The Washington Star
IS IN error in stating that ex-senator
henry l.. Dawes and ex-Representative
Worthington are the only survivors of the
men who acted as pall-bearers at Pres
CONFESS of this city. who represented
California in the upper branch of con-
Sress was one of the % bearers.
New York Mail and Express: The re-
port from Albany that both the Repub-
hcan and Democratic machines have
agreed to the passage of the Ellsworth
Dill Ter the protection of nOlitical CROOKS
TO 81 tho freedom of the
press is a very remarkable report.
---dcA IS PARTY
committed to its signature is more than
remarkable-it is false. When this bin
becomes law stocks for the punishment
OF common scolds will be t up in CITY
nan park and witches viii move to Ho-
poken to avoid the stake. Make a note
OF the prediction.
Kansas City Times: General Miles is |
more successful in demonstrating the |
United states is not on an adequate basis
Ior war than in proving we ought to |
WlthdfGW hundreds of millions from pro- /
1uctlNe enterprises to prepare for war |
we nave no cause for war. We have no /
desire Tor 1t. As a nation we have grown |
rlch. powerful and respected by pursuing !
a polcy OF dignified peace. which is in I
'in" With me ~cri.'s md traditions of |
reason for the United States to arm
..---. are. than for |
an eminently. respectable and prosperous
cltlzen TO buckle on a revolver, mask his
lace and start out as desperate or foot
pad.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-02-07

wasn't early enough. j suppose. and have
been waiting ever since. I'm getting Il
little tired of this sort OF thing. but I'm
going to see those lions IL / have to wait
all night. What time win they come
OUT?
. I broke the news to him as gently as
l could. continued Mr.. bruce. that the
lion roars in the last act were produced
Dy tame supers. and that those lions of
the hour had gone home.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-02-07

Sugar King Havemeyer has leased a
church at Greenwich, Conn. to the &C
clesiasticaI society to which he be
longs for TWO years at a dollar a year.
They are probably dollars of the coin
age of 1904
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-02-07

Strengthen the exposition" says the
Omaha Bee. When so many flyers are
being sent out to strengthen it why
not put out a flying buttress to see
what effect that would have.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-02-07
WIT AND HUMoR.

Chicago Post: "Oh. my angel" cried
the lover; promise Ihat GU will ever be
my angel"
Now, look here returned the rlOsaic
girl of the period. none of that. don't
like It 1t sounds as if you wanted 10
MARI me in heaven. and 1 d)n'- want
TO wait that long"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-02-07

David B. Hill says there is such a
thing as having too much patronage
This IS possible, as all things are posi-
bic, but where is the man who thought
he eyer had too much patronage?
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-02-07

Assistant Secretary Vanderlip is fig
uring on a surplus at the end of the
fiscal year. If there is any figuring to
be done General Grosvenor should be
called in to suDerintend it.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-02-07

Mayor Van Wyck objects to being
called Your honor" Here indeed is a
prophet that is without honor in his
own country.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-02-07

The New Jersey state board of health
says that blindness is increasing in
that state four times faster than pop
ulation. This makes the outlook for
New Jersey very dark.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-02-07

Rondike candles are worth s72 a
dozen. That is the kind of a light that
a man would be very apt to hide under
a bushei
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-02-07

Germany should be taught that re-
taliation is a game at which two can
play. And the quicker she learns this
fact the better.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-02-07

In southern Idaho the stockmen are
securing the country for hay, and in
spite of this securing the prospect
doesn't look bright.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-02-07

''AIr. Reed is human and liable to
err" says the Washington Star. We
have sometimes thought he was in
human and more than liable to err.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-02-07

Germany's mailed fist had to go
back to Alden to get coal at an Eng
lish station. By picking up coal with
q failed fist one doesn't soil his fin
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-02-07

1t is said to be the intention of the
administration to retire the greenbacks.
It is safe to say that the administra-
ton VIII retire first.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-02-07

The Chicago man who ate ffty-four
eggs in twenty minutes is named Sham.
He seems to have eaten Ham and
Jacobs portions as well as his own.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-02-07

A Kansas City, Kansas, minister
preached the other night on How to
Get TO He'll" Just take the limited ex-
press for Kansas City, Kansas.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-02-07

Mr.. Charles Bonaparte Of Baltimore
does not practice what he breaches.
He breaches lynching.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-02-07

cent folks should avoid says the
Baltimore American. That sounds more
like the talk of a bigot than of an
American.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-02-07

William Waldorf Astor is entirely
too exclusive for the English He
seems to have undertaken the task of
out-Heroding Herod.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-02-07

Highroller doing since Christmas?"
'Peddling silver matchcases his girls
gave him."
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-02-07

Mormon missionaries are now at
work il this city It would be more
satisfactory e they were at work on
the streets under legal direction than
upon the population under religious
federation. They are persons whom de-
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-02-07

eff we don't behave we are gone, -
says Boss Croker. And if they hesitate
about it they are lost.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-02-07

The anti-Quay men want Wanna
maker for governor. He should be able
10 take it in at u much less price than
the postmaster generalship.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-02-07

Cotton seed meal is supplanting corn
as a feed for stock. It should make
a splendid feed for cottontails.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-02-07

Brooklyn Life: What is the derivation
of aimony2"
It's short for all his money"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-02-07

Reasonable women are about as
rare as peaches without fuzz," says
the Bachelor in the New York Press.
And so are reasonable men.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-02-07

Judge: He after the bicycle collision
on the road)-Did you succeed in getting
some hairpins from the girls?
She-Yes; as luck would have il, Sadie
had her repair kit with her.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-02-07

Goldbug papers say the Teller res
olution has been buried for ever. If it
has been buried it was buried alive and
VIII dig its way out.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-02-07

What to Eat: Bridget. does your mis-
tress assist you in cooking?"
'Yis. very much.''
How does she do it?''
BY kaping out of the kitchen"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-02-07

,Tit-Bits: Employer see you have
glass eye. Pat
Pat-Yes, yer amer: but it's a swim
de, sir l can't see nothin' out of it,
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-02-07

Cincinnati Enquirer: Mrs Greymair-
when l am in the silent tomb
Mr. Greymair-It won't be your fault
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-02-07

phone girl say, Chumpley, when you
asked her for her hand?"
BUSY now
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-02-07

a many-sided man is quite as likely
as not to be undecided.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-02-07

When DR.. Miguel says that American
fruit is covered with vermin it is moth
ing but a pack of lice.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-02-07

The name of the beautiful snow that
came yesterday is mud.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-02-07

New York Weekly: A Misunderstand-
ing--American Tourist understand.
marquis, that you fell in love with a dis
tinguished American lady on account of
her pretty foot
Marquis-Dat is it. Dat is it. DE pretty
way she foots de bills
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-02-07

Nansen doesn't like America Can it
be possible that he got any OF those
counterfeit $500 silver certificates?
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-02-07

Washington Star: Sweet Charity.-He-
Don't you think Miss Plainly is the very
image of her mother?
She-Yes, indeed; the resemblance is
something awful.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-02-07

She would have been a lawyer,
But. to her constant grief
She failed because, although she tried,
She could not write a brief"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-02-07
Mems Clothing.

This week a great sacrifice Of mems
fine winter clothing; all this seasons
styles; new and desirable.
AT WALKERS
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-02-07

Dog cheap in the Klondike doesn't
mean so dog cheap" after all.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-02-07

Corbett is to appear in a new play.
Is it for Fitzsimmons' solar plexus?
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-02-07

Truth: so you are engaged to the
man / rejected three times?"
Yes, he mentioned it; he said the luck
OF odd numbers was really wonderful"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-02-07
STATE PRESS COMMENT.

Ephraim Enterprise: The Salt Lake
tribune has finally seen the light and
now comes out and repudiates Mckinley
ana his administration on account of
their hostility to silver. 1t is gratifying
TO Know that the Tribune has at last dis
covered what other people have known
for months. but it is rather singular that
1t did not make the discovery until after
nearly all of the administrations Utah
patronage had been distributed.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-02-07

Matters in the Orient look ship
shane
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-02-07

Chicago Daily News: Must Have Been
Inspired She-There is doctor in Ber-
lin who. after a great deal of study. has
found that married men live longer than
bachelors.
He-Save my life,
She-Oh. Clarence. how did you guess
that / loved you?
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-02-07

Brigham Bugler: We are afraid Brig
ham will never amount to very much un-
til condition exists here that instead of
being compelled to go away to seek en-
ployment, all our young men will be fur
nished agreeable and remunera tive work
at home.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-02-07

Tintic Miner: During the campaign we
many times stated that Mckinley was
owned by Mark Hanna and that if elected
the latter would virtually be president
me statement is amply verified Mark
Hanna is a resident of the White House
and as nearly every one believes controls
the official acts of the president What a
commentary on the honor of our country
and the integrity of its chief executivel
Both are controlled by an agent of the
money power and ore who is acknowl-
edged to have gained his recent election
by the most fragrant and glaring bribery
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-02-07

St Louis Globe-Democrat: In the whole
OF New England last year only 80 miles
OF steam railroad was built. while in
Connecticut alone the trolley roads were
extended "a miles, making a total in that
state of 3s5 miles. The trolley is an inter-
esting quantity IN Runway anairs.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-02-07

Emery County Pioneer: It is surprising
the number of gentlemen who are both
willing and anxious TO represent Utah in
the national house of representatives for
the coming two years. At present their
name is legion but after election it will
undoubtedly be Denis
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1898-05-26
Big Simmons.

On the right hand side of Wall
street, little beyond the old FEEDER
al hall, which stood where the pres.
ent subtreasury building now is,
was the tavern of Big Simmons,
who 100 years ago was the biggest
man in New York in more senses
than one. He was the autocrat of.
the bonifaces, and his house was
frequented by all the men of conse-
duence in the city, state and nation.
Jefferson, Franklin, Hamilton,
Chancellor Livingston and even
Washington were guests of Big Sim
mons at one time or another and en-.
joyed the warmth of his huge log
fire while they quaffed his nut
brown ale. The majesty of Big Sim
mons person was such that he
might be called the personifcation
of good eating, insomuch that no.
body ever saw him standing at his
own door without being smitten
with an irresistible propensity to
call in and partake of good cheer.
A biographer of Big Simmons,
writing reminiscently in tho New
York Mirror Of 1881, says: "A
proper biography OF Big Simmons
could be comprised in nothing less
than an imperial folio of a thickness
corresponding with the size of his
person. If, as is practically demon
strated in the present age, the in
diligence of the appetite lies at the
root of human happiness, of sure
ty Big Simmons was one of the
greatest benefactors of the human
race. But the greatest of men must
die, as did Xerxes and Big Sim
mons, and when this accident hap
pened to the latter it is affirmed that
his friends were obliged to cut away
the doorposts to afford room for his
coffin to pass. New York Times.
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1898-05-26
A Law Against Bachelors.

Bachelors have hard time in the
Argentine Republic. There a law
infiicts a fine upon any person of
manageable age who rejects a pro-
posal. Here is the statute: People
of manageable age of either sex
who refuse an offer to wed without
reasons which are considered valid
in law shall not be permitted to mar
ry thereafter without the permits
sion of the government. They shall,
moreover, pay an indemnity sum of
not more than f100 to the person
whose offer they have refused.
Young men and women under 20
years old are exempt from the law
and can marry as they please. Aft
er they are 20 the men are obliged
to pay heavy tax if they remain
single. The women propose as we'll
as men, SO an unmarried young man
between 20 and % years old in that
country has a troublesome time.
Not only is he made to pay tax
for being a bachelor, but if he re-
fuses a proposal he has to pay the
proposer a fine. Naturally, there
are few old maids in Argentina.
New York Ledger.
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1898-05-26
English Restaurants.

Americans when they first come
over to this country can rarely quite
tumble to the peculiarities of our
English restaurants. A wealthy
Yankee friend of mine who was over
here little while ago to complete
the formation of an important linn
tied liability company thought it
would be good thing to invite all
those concerned in London to lunch
con one day. Accordingly he went
to the manager of one of the most
celebrated of our fashionable res
taurants and after engaging a pri-
vate room gave instructions that no
expense should be spared to make
the meal astronomical success,
the only proviso being that he
should select his own wines.
Everything passed off splendidly
until the cigar and coffee stage was
reached, and the host asked that his
bill might be brought to him. He
assured me that he had never felt
smaller in his life than when the
head waiter, in the hearing of the
assembled company, approached
him and in loud voice asked, "And
how many breads have you had,
sir2" Just as though had been
busily engaged in counting up how
many rolls my guests had eaten!'
was the pertinent remark my friend
made on reoounting the experience
to me afterward. OF course in
America no charge is made at all
for bread. Why is the custom not
generally introduced over here9-
London Sketch.
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1898-05-26
Young Head. Old Shoulders.

Apropos of our reference to the
German emperor's notion of placing
a young head on old shoulders in
the case of an ancient headless
statue, correspondent writes, point
ing out that tradition asserts the
same thing to have been done with
the equestrian figure now represent
ing King Charles II in Parliament
square, Edinburgh, which by the
irony of fate is erected close to the
grave of John Knox. He says, 1.-The
story runs that this work-in which
the horseman is represented in Ro-
man military attire and which, be-
lieve, is cast in lead--was brought
to Scotland by a foreign skipper
who had got hold of 1t by some
means or other unknown, was pur-
chased, decapitated (strange course
in view of the death of King Charles
y and then bad head of the merry
monarch put on instead. London
News.
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1898-05-26

An examination was made of some
electric belts sold by street fakir
at Ottawa. It was found that be-
meath a strip Of gauze was a layer
of dry mustard. When the wearer
perspited little, the mustard was
moistened and set up a burning SEN
sation, and tho deluded victim be.
lieved current of electricity was
passing through him.
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1898-05-26
TRICKY RHIENrS
Tho Pet Dog Used to Clear the WAY For
the Burglars.

Ane Fet Dog Used to Clear the Way For
the Burglars.
A woman walked into the West
Slxty-eighth Street police station
and told the sergeant at the desk
that her pet dog had disappeared.
1t was only yesterday" she be.
gan as she pulled small lace hand
kerchief from her belt to be ready
to catch any stray tears, "and Cur.
lylocks, my little dog, did want so
much to go out for walk, and I
couldn't disappoint him. So out we
went down the boulevard. AS we
reached Sixty fifth street another
dog ran up to my little Curlylocks.
and the two scampered down the
street, never needing me. 1 staid
there and waited for my dog, and
went all around the streets and
never found him."
Don't be alarmed, lady," said
the sergeant. He'll turn up soon"
mo, he won't" answered the
woman. He has been stolen, l
know, for Curlylocks never would
stay away from home willingly. l
want your policemen to hunt for
him, and will pay nice reward
to the man who gets him."
The sergeant and captain both as
sured her that they would turn the
precinct upside down to find that
dog, and the woman left, somewhat
more hopeful than before. Nothing
was heard of her and the dog for
two days, but at the end of that
time the woman reappeared in the
station house.
L told you so, said the sergeant,
without noticing her woebegone
look. Dog came back just as l told
you, didn't hes"
mo, he didn't" she replied, wip.
ing her eyes. II thought l was go
ing to get him back, but l didn t.
Do you know, l received very nice
little note in the mail the same day
came here first. The note told me
that somebody-he didn't sign any
name-had my dog at a place on
Canal street, and that he had seen
my advertisement in the papers and
knew that he had my dog, and if
would go to that place at o'clock
the next afternoon l could have my
dog gle all right again.
1 went down there at O'Clock,
and the man who had the store told
me he knew nothing about any dog,
and when l showed him the note
got he said again he didn't know the
least thing about it. / cried all the
way home.
when l got home, l opened the
door just as usual, and everything
inside our fat was turned upside
down, and all my silverware was
gone, and every one of our wedding
presents had been stolen"
The sergeant whistled in astonish
ment.
Now" continued the woman, 81
don't care for the silverware as
much as my husband will when he
learns about it, but I do want my
dog back again.
Neither the dog nor the silver
ware was recovered by the police
New York Sun.
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1898-05-26
FAME.
Once there was poor old poet

Once there was poor old poet
Who had dreamed of winning fame.
Somewhere was laurel growing
Men would wreathe about his name
10 God, life's ifs, - whose anguish
Makes the heart dumb with its achei
Is it's it any wonder
That hearts bleed and break?
This poor poet, hungry, starving,
For the praise he sought to win,
Saw flames doors swing wide to welcome
Many younger brother in.
While he waited at the portal
Where his entrance was denied,
Till his heart broke with his sorrow
Broke, and so he diedl
Who can read fate's riddle for mef
Caring nothing more for fame,
Suddenly the world was ringing
With the poor old poets name,
And men reared shaft of marble
Over him and carved beneath
Sculptured grief his name and crowned IL
With laurel wreath.
Yesterday heard some children
Who were playing in the street
One Of the dead poets poems
In their merry games repeat,
And thought it sweeter tribute
To the poor old poet, dead,
Than the praise of those who gave
Stone when asked tor bread
-Eben Z. Rexford in National Magazine.