New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1898-08-02

Save "'rhe phind,phia Record: AS tribute
20 the Few Navy which performed such marvellous
work in the recent unpleasnntness with Spain, tho
American Mail Steamship Company has decided
"a name the four vessels being constructed
at Cramps shipyard after the American admirals
The Admiral Sampson Will be launched IN ABOUT
two weeks and the Admiral Dewey, the Admiral
Sch,cy and the Admiral Walker Will follow In sue
cesson There was some discussion among officials
Of the company TO which admiral was entitled -
be ropresented by the fourth ship. but it vas
hrally decided to honor Admiral Walker"
Mutual Congratulations Hello hello. On, Is
b orS IS YOU %' know 'f my voicc' fts Happy"
yes yes: Nappy-Nappy Bonapnrte. Don't
"oh VS. rs Mr. Ronap1r'e YO son must excuse
That's 40. just called you up 10 ofer my con-
"Congratnlatons, What for?"
why. that American war is sure 10 throw us both
out OF the magazines for months and months to
That's Ain, I, nice? Such res, for both
Thank you much for reminding me- OF the pleas
ant fact Goodby Nappy.
BIT -ryr-r~CClcvcland Plain Dealer.
Citizens OF Fargo. y. D.. according to CORE
spondent OF The Boston Transcript" say that the
divorce business gives them chance TO become
acquainted with some OF tho most cultivated and
interesting people ~ the East and It Is matter
W
ton spent last winter here and that Colonel X. OF
the Regular Army Ia expected hostili-
ties close There is evidence OF considerable con-
tagon I'm this divorce habit One woman, II is re
lated. came here TO visit brother VINO was serv-
ing his three months OF residence. and although
she never thought OF divorce when she started.
concluded that while here. and since IL could be
done conveniently. she would shake on the
cumbersome ties Of matrimony. Many OF the young
people Of tho city too. have come TO thinK that
they ought to take advantage OF privilege close
at hand. for which persons from distance pay
so heavily.
I.ong-Im getting too stout for comfort. but am
Short-It il said that nothing reduces surplus
Lons-But have nothing to worry me- ne, willing
Short-Weii Just 10 hep you out. I'm Wiling
10 let YOU lend me Sl0-(Chicago News.
The experiment Of employing women as con-
ductors on the streetcars of ChillIcothe Ohio has
proved "A success. A local paper says that they
perform their duties in polite, faithful and con-
sc!entious manner. with no funny business about
f. and they command the respect and admiration
OF everybody. Even the rougher element OF man.
kind. who would not hesitate TO impose on man.
are toned down by the gcnter influence and do not
attempt any forbidden privileges. for they Know
IT would not be tolerated for moment The con-
ductors seven in number all from families
OF respcctabity and each is possessed of an un-
usual degree Of nttractivoness. The women work
nine hours each DAY. Win one uhy Oh 'aCH "N'h
md receive s. week for their services.
Very Dscouragins. Did you hear OF the Cara
Yes" answered ADMIRAL Camara with emotion.
ut does seem that this fleet OF mine mas GOT 10 De
destroyed somehow or other '-tNasnington star,
Tho Kcnnebcc Journal says that young man
was recently taken to Lewiston hospital and
suffered the removal OF rib. When he came to
himself he was told what had been done. and
seemed satisfied. Shortly after he dropped into
"A semi unconscious gtate. and kept calling for "the
woman" For two days he was delIrious. and FREE
quently called for the woman" Il want to see
the woman" he kept saying. At last the nurse In
desperation said. We'll. I'm the woman The
man looked at her critically from top to toe and
said: WHO would have thought that they could
have made such pretty girl of one Of my ribs"
And then he settled back on his pillow, and when
he awoke again he was In his right mind and
better.
The master was coldy critical
You can paint minor details well. he observed
For instance the sunshine tie sky, sky the e,,I noun
sna ov How nut your
As Tor the disciple, he Could put cast his palette
upon the floor and weep aloud In his chagrin.-
detroit Journal
A recent issue OF The Hardeman Uenn) Free
Press" contained the following paragraph We
wish to explain lack of editorial this week
We was down to Memphis and smart Alec at
the tavern put train oil on our greens ana said IL
vinegar. or course. we were horse dew COM
baw for three days. and now that able to
talk our language Is not 1T for publication"
Mr Wise-Johnny. can you tell me why the little
hand my watch goes faster than the big one?
Johnny (after mature rehection)-Papa, amt II
just like why / have to when | 20 walking
With you?-(Jewelers' Weekly.
A Boston publishing nrm that issues school read
ers recently received the following letters from
rural school trustees
Mr.. - have Taught all fables Story Books
and Novels I am Coin to ] shall see the Board
aboit 1t first. have Baught all School Books
Requaird am Citing tieard Of Bying Novels
Yours
Dear Sir
Can not Get no mobiles (novels) book for n Scoo
Book he can reed Out OF his Reeders and not
Out OF the Fairtail Stories Books Yours Truey
1T Is a solemn thing" said the young man.
when woman trusts a man with her Affections
IT amt as solemn, said the man with the dry
goods neckte. 'as when she won't trust him with
his own wages "-(Indianapos Journal