New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1898-10-14
THE TALK or THE DAY.

This Is how the editor OF a paper in Picking
China. declines a manuscript:
Industrious brother Of the and moon, Look
upon thy slave who rolls at thy feet. who kisses the
earth before thee and demands OF thy charity per-
mission 10 speak and live.
I'VE have read thy manuscript with delight. BY
the bones of ancestors that never
have we encountered such masterpiece. Should
print IL. His Ma jesty. the Emperor would order
us 10 take II as criterion and never again 10 print
anything which was not 10 equal It. As that would
not be possible before ten thousand years all
trembling return thy manuscript and beg thee
ten thousand pardons. See-my hand Is at my feet
and am the slave Of thy servant.
THE EDITOR"
Wife-WiIllam. you owe me q cents.
Husband-Yes. but paid the gas bill. and YOU
owe me 81 35
We'll. but before that | paid the paper boy, and
that made you owe me 60 cents;
Yes, but there was 20 cents paid on that other
Il know ii; but you borrowed 30 cents OF me the
Great Scott, Take this IS and let's begin all
again'-tChicago Tribune.
Thomas Smith, United States Consul a Moscow,
denies a recent dispatch In which 1t was stated
that an attempt had been made on the life OF the
Emperor and Empress during their visit to that
place TO unve the statue OF the Emperor's grand
father Alexander H. by blowing up n house the
line % the but which failed because the
person selected to perform the deed lighted the
match "a n staff officer and his wife were driving
past the house. and they instead OF the Gar were
killed He says there was an old log house de-
stroyed by reason OF a gas explosion In Mosco"
during the Emperor's late visit. but Il was half
mile from any street the Emperor ever drove on.
and no staf officer and his wife were injured by the
same. He declares the story to be pure fiction.
Speaking of applying the artistic to ordinary
duties said the a6lsst lar In the Sr5cery' re,
whom / lived when 1 was a kid. She used some
times to do such a fine job Of making the beds
cause she hadn't the heart 10 gee her work spoiled
-fCincinnati Enquirer.
The cost Of heating plant FOR the Vatican capl-
bic OF warming its thousands Of rooms has been
figured on by competitive bidders the lowest figure
being $4,000 The Pope declines to incur the ex
pense though great difficulty is experienced in
keeping his apartments warm enough for comfort
In his Old age.
Mrs Younglovc-These women who write about
How Husbands Should be Managed" do you sup
pose they manage their husbands any better than
Mrs lders-Do !? Why. pshaw child. don't
life '''
The Bulgarlans have erected 3o5 monuments in
commemoration OF events In the Russo-Turkish
War. and now sending to the Car an album
containing illustrations OF all Of them.
How She Reasoned II QUIT should 10 %
the bad place" she said, II spose my wax doll
would melt"
1T surely would" replied the elder. who thought
there was "A chance TO impress n lesson upon her.
We'll" she returned with sigh Il guess I'll
have to be good. hen.'-tChicago Post.
Don Jaime. son OF Don Carlos. and heir to his
pretensions TO the Spanish Crown. now In service
IN the Russian cavalry, was educated AT Beaumont
College near Windsor one day English boy
was seen kicking the young Prince. and was asked
by one Of the masters what Don Jaime had done
10 merit such treatment. Nothing sir was the
reply: but you see he may become King OF Spain
one dny and | should like TO be abe to say that ]
had once kicked the King Of Spain"
80 the war In really over?'
Yes; andlady has taken down Remember
the Maine md put up our favorie old motto, Pay
a. you 60 "-lTruth.