Evening star., 1898-03-19

to the cheekbones of
" most Of us several
days before pay day is due, and running
through the performance of our work dur
ing that restless period there is the shining
thread of consciousness that we are upon
the verge Of something pleasurably I'M
portant. Time does not wither nor custom
stale this regularly recurring mental state
of happy foreboding. The man who has
been in department for thirty years
radiates the same bland, expectant, there's
a-revival-of-prosperity expression from mis-
countenarce en- the day before pay day as
a government job.
1.-THE lightning ca,culators begin to get
cut their pencils and pads on the morning
before pay day. They perform five-minute
stunts with their calculating stationery
about dozen times throughout the day.
They do a lot of head-scratching and nose
rubbing while thus attempting, say, to
convert $3.50, assets available tomorrow
inte-a blanket sufflc entity large to smother
$63.20. immediate liabilities, and it's the
simplest thing in life for a man who has
watched the game for long while to
trace out their exact mental processes
while they are at it from the expressions
On their faces. In the middle of an Inn
portant job of government work on the day
before pay day, you see the fellow at the
desk on the left of you suddenly reach for
pe neil and pad and begin to jot down fig
ures. most of them on the Debit side. Gee,
whizZ!' you can hear him think, I forgot
all about that new lamp for my wife's
tike-there's another. $3.50 gone to the
dickens" Or he may be inwal dly saying,
Blamed if I've got down Oh this list that
new gas stove-S5.50, l b'lieve she said it
would be-that I've had no peace of my
life about for this last month or two Or
he may be muttering to himself. I wonder
if she's going to leave me enough out CT
this mess to array myself in a new $3.50
spring suit? Easiest thing in life, as I
say, to figure out what they're thinking
from the way they look when they're tab-
bing away at that debit column. The young
fellow that's going to get married next
September, for example, exhibits look of
pain when he calculates that he won't be
able to clap more than five-sixths of his
wad Into the bank the next day, and then
he takes out his list of housefurnishinss
that he has made UP his mind to buy AMI
chops off a skillet or an egg beater mere
and there with an expression Of mournful-
ness. yd
Women Are More Careful.
1.-The women clerks don't do quite as much
ante-pay-day figuring as the men, but they
work themselves up over it good deal
more. and emit any amount of sighs and
dear mes while they WELD their calculat-
ing pencils. The spring frock problem en-
velops them all just now. They don't see
how In the world it's going to be gone-but
they always turn up with the frocks at the
right time, just the same This reminds
me that the average woman clerk in the
Washington departments knows how to
make her semi-monthly $3.50 go about
three times as far as the average man clerk
makes his semi-monthly $75 travel. Most
of the women clerks l know get about a
dray load Of stuff Of one sort or another
every pay day. pay all their bills, put
money in the bank, go off on. a swell trip
somewhere or another every summer vaca-
tion, and always have a dollar or SO in
their purses. The men-well, say, about all
get out of my semi-monthly bunch of new
bills is a haircut three cigars for quar-
ter, one trip to a variety show and two 9S-
cent shirts and then I'm fiat broke and up
against 1t until next pay day. Queer,
isn't it?
'All the government work that's done in
a government department on pay day you
could put in the corner Of me eye,' as the
sailors say. All hands turn up on pay day
morning sort O twitchy and nervous, and
there is a general unexpressed feeling that
everybody ought to get a day Off on pay
day, anyhow. The calculators don't do
much scribbling on their little lists on pay
day morning, but they spend a good deal Of
time in just dismally contemplating the
much-erased and interlined Chinese hero-
giyph sheets that represent finally the dis
tribution they intend making of the dis
bursting officers largesse. Some of them
it is true. after making their lists all out
suddenly discover on pay day morning that
they've based their calculations on whole
half month"; when they're only due to get
paid for a short half month"; and then
their obvious mental gloom Is distressing
In the Line.
There's a whole lot of aimless wander
ing around the halls for while before the
disbursing clerk pulls his window open, and
If you examine the male wanderers care
f,,11xy hat
of their vest pockets. Tho people who
fore paying off begins don't look as If they
were enjoying themselves
"All of the departments have got deans
OF the pay line who, having been first at
the pay window from time immemorial ac-
Qrire this title. When they're not first in
the lire, you're to understand that they're
on the sick list or on leave of absence
You can generally tell by the way a gov
err ment clerk takes his money from the
disbursing clerk whether he's a careful
man or the contrary. The man who has
got place on his little list for every SOU
frs rque Of his pay is a bit gingery in the
way he handles his bills and he stands at
the window and laboriously counts the
greenbacks dished Tout to him before he
gives the man behind him q show The
young fellow who picks UP his money with
one hand, crusfes it up into wad without
counting 1t andoBtuEs 1t into his right-hand
trousers pocket, Is generally the man who's
going to give the semi-monthly department.
al collectors some trouble before they In
duce him to produce.
1.-THE collectors ,dpn't stand close to the
pay line, as they used to do In the old
days-but ii you've got any outstanding ac-
counts. you can figdfe on the collectors be-
ing in the building somewhere when the
paying on is gRing, g,fon. Moreover, they've
got some occult way Of finding out that
you've drawn Your money two minutes af-
ter you've gotten hold of it. The Little Sis
ters of the Poor have couple of repre-
sentatives clcseVto most Of the department.
al pay lines, and few OF the clerks, men or
women. pass them by without chipping Il,
q coin, and often q bill, to these silent,
worthy helpers Of the dow n-in-their-luck.
Held Up Mt Their Desks.
'sThe wifely holding up part Of the pay
day program is q. continuous performances
until the departmental shops are shut at
O'Clock Most OF the married mon who are
accustomed to this holding up play expect
their wives. and have got their little stories
of unusual and unforeseen liabilities al
ready cooked up. The men who don't ex-
pect their wives, ana see them coming when,
It's too late for them to bolt for it occa-
sionally look mad about It. hut I'VE oh
served that In nine caeos out OF ten they
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