The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1898-12-08
STILL ON THE wARPATH.
Capt. Best. as "A Rough Rider, Wakens U
Marietta.

Capt. Best, as Rough Rider, WaFens Up
Marietta.
A dispatch dated Marietta, OHIO, to
the PdrkerSburg Journal, says:
IN. NJ. Best, the freak from Oak
land, Md, who has been in this city
for the past six weeks, spending his
money with lavish hand, and max
ing himself conspicuous with flowers
and loud mutflers, and by all sorts of
queer actions, was again brought
prominently before the public Tues
day evening by a most sensational
display of Wild West propensities.
Best does not feel well unless he is
the centre of public interest, but he
doesn't care much how that interest
is attained
at can be said to Mr. Bests credit
that he has some good points, but
none of these are included in his taste
for booze. He likes the ardent and
likes better still to have people
know that red liquor is congenial to
his make up.
Lately Mr.. Best has been busily
engaged in reading about how Roose-
welt and his gallant men stormed San
Juan hill. Mr.. Best was pleased with
their great courage and was seized
with a horrible desire to do some
thing of the same sort that would
forever engrave his memory on the
minds of the innocent and truthful
people of Marietta. In other words,
he longed to be a rough rider, and
with the rough riders dwell He
accordingly loosened to the extent of
SO, which he put into q large and
Notwithstanding revolver. He
bought some cartridges that would
exactly fit and thrusting the combi-
nation of weapon and cartridges
down into his bootleg, started down
Front street, like knight of old,
bent upon protecting fair woman
hood and of avenging all the ills that
flesh is heir to-
He hadn't gone more than block
before he was siezed with the convic-
tion that he was being beset by In
dams and mound builders. Swing
ing his siX-shooter aloft, he let out
some awful war whoops and with
heroism that would put Hobson to
shame, started to pursue his deadly"
foe. The great battle was not long
lived, for on about the third charge
up San Juan hill, he fell into the
arms of Jake Dye, who soon discov-
cred that the brave soldier was
already more than half-shot, and so
relieved him of his Krag- Jorgenson,
but unfortunately not his jag.
Later in the evening Best, the
hero, recruited, re-equipped, and re-
inforced with more BOOZE started out
again. The first thing he did was to
capture Spaniard and relieve him
Of his Mauser. He then proceeded,
in battle array, to the nearest block
house, through whose port holes red
liquor, instead of red fire, is dis
pensed. But his victory here was
easy. His only command was for
everybody in the place to line up to
the bar, company front, while he
settled with the commissary for ra-
lions. This was the finest snap that
the grafters had struck for many a
day and when his nobs, Col Teddy
Roosevelt Best, commanded everyone
to drink or he would shoot them on
the spot, there was an attack on the
booze that made the man behind the
bar beside himself with joy. After
all of his supplies had been exhausted,
the saloonkeeper, migrate that he was,
declared war on the rough rider, in
the name of humanity, and disarmed
him, and would have sent him to the
guardhouse, had not the foreign con-
suls interceded.
Recently Colonel Best received a
large check from headquarters, which
he is spending with the same reckless
extravaganza that has already made
him famous. People have come to
the conclusion that his issue of bonds
was well up into the millions. He is
the gayest old bird that has struck
this town for many a day