Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1898-01-19

served Waller and his ONO ne1ghbOr en-
gagged in an argument. The justice ap-
preached them, arriving on the scene just
as they clinched. Springing upon the
fence so as to be out of harms way, he
waved his cane in the air and shouted:
"Gentlemep! In the name of the great
state Of Indiana, l command peace.' Just
at that moment the fence gave way and
the justice was precipitated to the ground.
He fell on the Ohio side, and as he was
struggling to get up, he shouted to Wal
Ter: Give him hi, Jim; I'm out of my
jurisdictionv'
eye see," said Aunt Dinah, when she
was asked why she had not been pres
ent at meeting, ''de fax oh de case am,
honey, l was a-meanln' for to went; but
de going was so awful bad dat [ just
couldn't came. Youths Companion.
-:o:-
During the fall tournament at the
Meadow brook Hunt club the vigilance of
the local truant officers compelled the
usual force of caddie boys to stick to
their books instead of earning an honest
dollar on the links. Consequently vol
unteer staff of caddies was organized that
included a high-class young baseball
player, who was new at golf. To the
amazement of all, when FOXhall Keene
drove off, this youth caught the ball on
the first bound and stood ready to field it
back Under the circumstances the
Greens committee did not penalize Keene.
II remember a story which serves to
teach a lesson that the daily newspaper
IS the proper place in which to advertise.
1t seems that a man named Jackson
was engaged ia the manufacture of plug
tobacco, and used to advertise some in
the daily newspapers, but also On dead
walls, etc.
Zone day while walking along a street
overlooking a steep hill, the wind blew
off his plug hat, which rolled over the hill
down steep precipice. Crawling to the
edge of the precpice he looked down, and
there beheld huge billygoat chewing a
hne plug hat and tearing the rim Off
EXasperated, he yelled at the goat, who
simply turned his head upwards, but kept
on eating the hat.
Following the direction of the goats
eyes, he beheld, in huge letters, painted
on the side of the rock, the words, Chew
Jackson's Plug. 1t is said from that
time on, Jackson used the columns of the
newspapers steadily Estate.
Bobbie-" Momma, what makes you so
cross? 2"
Mother-"B Because, my son, you ask so
many questions
B.-''And won't you be cross if I don't
ask any more?'
M.-"No, my son, that will make me
quite cheerful again.
B. (after a short pause "Momma?'
M.-"Well, Bobbie, what is it?'
B.-''Are you cheerful yet?'
M.-"Fairly."
B. Cause / wanted to ask what you
suppose makes grown-up people so cross
when you just ask few questions that
don't hurt nobody" brooklyn Life.
The Liberal Movement-E'No, sah' -
continued Deacon Jones. chairman Of the
the new pastor to silence. eve likes
yo', pus'nully. Yo's pow'ful good
tawkah, sab, but we's all on us
blievahs in de lit'ry onerrancy 90 de
Bible, sab, an 'spects to hear it
'spounded as cherobim an terapin, an
st'tuted in place oh de holy writ, sab
No, sah.'-Detroit Journal.
"Do you see the MANI"
eyes, / see the man.
''And the crowd that is following him 2"
yes
"Does the mob want to lynch him?
What has he done? Murdered some
body?"
''No, he has not committed a crime, but
an awful fate is in store for him. He
has just been getting married. and the
men who are chasing him are life insur-
ance solicitors. "-Cleveland Leader.
Near the main entrance of one Of our
churches poor woman, shivering with
cold and holding a baby in her arms, ap-
pealed to the charity Of the passers-by.
''Why, your infant is pasteboard.'' said a
gentleman, as he tapped its nose, which
sounded hard and resonant. ooh, | beg
your pardon, sir. 1t is so cold, left the
real one at home. "-Tit-Bits.
''That was an awful tragedy at Min
zenheim's. The hired girl blew out the
gas"
And was found dead?"
''Naw. The top of the window hap
pened to be wide open. But Minzenheim
fell in an apoplectic fit when he found
how much gas had been wasted. Gin
cinnati Enquirer.
Wickwire-"I like Timmins' stories. He
has such light touch.' Simmins-"Yes,
that's one thing in Timmins' favor; he
rarely strikes one for more than two or
three dollars. indianapolis Journal
TOO MUCH SALT.
It's Excessive Use Proves Harmful and