The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1898-12-01
yforyeffes.

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resolved to tame. He began by teach
ing it to take its meals on his hand,
and although at first the tiny creature
was shy of going through its table
d'hote on such an unusual festive
board in very short space OF time 1t
grew to expect to be fed in that way.
Sir John preserved this pet with the
greatest care. True, it stung him once,
but then it had every excuse for doing
so. Sir John was examining it on
a railway journey, and the door being
opened by ticket collector he uncere-
moniously stuffed it into bottle, and
the outraged Spaniard, not feeling
quite at home during the process, gave
him a gentle reminder as to the proper
way to treat guest. The wasp was a
pet in every sense of the word, and be-
came so fond of it's master that it al
lowed itself to be stroked. 1t enjoyed
civilization for just nine months, when
it fell i'll, and although Sir John did all
he could to prolong its life, it died.
Many wasps have been under Sir Johns
observation, but he has never had such
a genuine pet as this one.
Maginnis had been ill for some time.
and, like great many invalids, he was
somewhat irritable, and when things
failed to meet his approval the next un.
fortunate who came within range was
pretty apt to be reminded of it in way
far more forcible that polite. He lin
gered in this condition for several
weeks, daily growing weaker, but hold
ing his own sufficiently to make things
lively and more or less interesting for
those about him.
Finally, one day, when the family
doctor called, he met the long suffering
Mrs. Maginnis coming out of the sick
room, and, rubbing his hands he cheer
lily remarked:
"Ah, good morning Mrs. Maginnis.
How is your patient today?"
Its dead the poor mon is. Ohm af-
Their thinkin Hivin rist his sowl!" was
the reply.
you think he is dead? don't you
know whether he is or not ?" demanded
the doctor.
Not fer shure" responded Mrs. Ma
ginnis, briskley; "but thin he bethrays
livery symptom of it. l wint into his
room jist now, and he didn't throw
anything at me-"
\ man was on trial in western Amer
lea Oh charge of catching a certain
fish that weighed less than two pounds.
The constable who had made the arrest
testified to catching the prisoner with
the fish in his possession.
"Where are the fish ?" asked the law
yer for the defendant.
"Why, they wouldn't keep" ans
wered the officer.
"What did you do with them?"
"Oh, disposed of them"
What did you do with them 2"
"Well, knew they wouldn't keep, so
I-I-disposed of them"
But what did you do with them?"
''My wife cooked them"
And you ate them ?"
"Yes.'
''Your honor, ask that this case be
dismissed"
Charge dismissed and defendant
discharged" ruled the Justice of the
Peace, "on the ground that the arresting
officer ate the evidence"
when | was young man." said
well-known civil engineer to a New
DIRK Tribune man, 81 was surveying
the route of proposed railway. An
old farmer with whom l stopped for
time, admitted one day, when he saw
me figuring in the field, that mathe-
MATES always seemed a wonderful
thing to him. Being young and en-
thusiastic, l began to enlarge on it's
wonders, telling him how we could
measure the distances to different
planets, and even weigh them; how we
could fortell accurately the coming of
a comet or an eclipse years in advance
of its actual occurrence, determine the
velocity of the fercest projectile, ascer-
tain the height of mountains without
scaling them, and many other things
which / meant should astonish him.
"You can imagine how he set me
back when he replied to this brilliant
array of facts by saying: Yes, yes,
them things does seem kinder Gurus,
but what allus bothered me was to
understan' why you have to carry one
for ev'ry ten. But if you don't the
burned thing won't come ont right"