New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1898-05-29

III. n COuntyfman aimlring the Stalciy rdD-
rick of st. Paurs, asked. whether 1t was MADE
in England or brought from beyond Sea?
POI. Person cnQuring what became Of su,h
a One? Oh! dear fays one Of the Company,
poor Fellow, he dy'd insovent, and was buried
by the Parish: Died in solvent, crys another,
that's lie, for he died in England, Pm sure 1
was Mt his Buryng.
little Of this sort Of thing goes long way.
With some indulgence these might be regarded
as peasantrles. but they hardly deserve to be
immortalzed gems Of wit Here are few
that are of a better grade and not over familiar:
A. Ny Lord Craven in King James the Firsts
Reign, very DESTROYS TO see Ben Johnson.
which being told TO Ben, he went TO my l.ofd5
House, but being In very tatteTd CONDITION, as
Poets sometimes are, the Porter refusd MIN I'd
nittance, with some Saucy Language, whlcn
the other did not fail to return: My Lord hap
pening to come out while they were wrangling,
asked the occasion Of it: Ben, who stood in need
OF no. body to speak for him. said, he under
stood his LOrdshiD desired to see him; you,
Friend said my Lord. who are you? Ben john
son, reply'd the other No. no, quoth my LORD.
you cannot be Ben Johnson who wrote the
Silent Woman, you look as if you could not say
30 to a Goose: 30. cry'd Ben, very we'll said
my Lord. who was better pleased at the Joke
than offended at the AffrOnt. / am now con-
WINGED by your Wit, you are Ben johnson
So Two Gentlemen dsputng about Religion.
In Buttons Coffee-House, said one them,
wonder Sir you should talk Of Religion, when
IN hold you five Guineas you can't say the
Lords Prayer, done. said the other, and Sir
Richard Steele shall hold Stakes. The Money
being deposited, the Gentleman began with, 1
believe in God and so went cleverly thro the
Greed; well, said the other, own | have lost, l
did not think you could have done it.
I0f cato the Censor being askd, how II came
pass that he had no Statue erected for him.
who had well deserved OF the Common
Wealth? | had rather. said he, have this Ques-
ton asked, than why had one
The last would hardly be regarded a Jest
nowadays but it is good reply
There is no doubt that the ill-natured person,
incapable OF testing, who accuses others OF bor-
rowing from JOE Miller Is occasionally justified
Some of the jokes in this book are certainly
still afoat, though the number OF familiar ones
which it contains is surprisingly small. Here Is
one, for instance which looks decidedly like q
variant Of a story often told Of Colonel Tom
Ochiltrec
- Lord RI having lost about fifty Pis-
toles one Night at the Gaming Table in Dublin.
some Friends condoling with him upon his III
Luck Faith, said he ! am very Wen please
C. there s not Pistoe that don't lack
six-Pencc Of Weight.
And here s jest from the ancient Greek.
which was indeed in need OF an asylum when it
found in this book:
~ Gentleman having lent Guinea, for
two three Days. 10 Person whose Promises
ne had not much Faith in. was very much sur
with him: the same Gentleman being sometime
after DESTROYS Of borrowing the like sum. No.
said the other you have deceived me once, and
am resolved you shan't do 1t a second Time.
story much Ike the following has been told
Of late years with an addition intended to show
the slowncss OF an Englishman in seeing the
point OF Joke:
a. An Irish Lawyer OF the Temple. having
occasion 10 20 to Dinner. LEFT these Directions
written and put in the key-Iioe OF his Cham
bcr- Door. | am gone 10 the Elephant and cas-
tie. where you shall lind me; and If You cant
read tins Note, carry II down to the Stationers.
and he will read 1t for you.
And here is one which has since been attrib-
uted to sydney Smith:
~ The same Gentleman AZ he had the Char
actrr of "A great Punstcr. was desired one Night
In Company by Gentleman. 10 make Pun
eXtcmpoTc. upon what Subject, SAID Daniel. tho
King answered the other, the King, Sir said
ne is no SHhject
And tn" following has probably been told OF
every Irish regiment that ever in any army:
100 Lieutenant Colonel Of one OF the Irish
Regiments. IN the French service being dis
patched by the Duke Of Berwick from Fort
Kchl to the King Of France. with Complaint
relating to some Irregularities. that had hap
pencd IN the Regiment, His Majesty, with some
Emotion OF Mind. told him. That the Irish Troops
gave him more Uncasin'ss than all his Forces
besides Sir (says the officer all your MaJesty's
Enemies make the same Complaint
No doubt you have read Mark Twain and
have laughed at Pudd'nh Wilson's desire to
own hall of "A certain dog. that he might kill
his half and the lasting mysthcation OF the
ncghbors at the remark in which they could
you think OF this?
2O2 a humorous Countryman. having bought
a Barn IN Partnership with Neighbor OF his,
neglected to make the least Use Of it, whilst