The times., 1898-10-04
MR.. DOOLEY AND PEACE.
(From the chicago Journals


''whin tn war was goin' began Mr.. Hen
messy.
"Sure," said Mr.. Dooley, "tis not over yet.
'Tis liable to outlast both you an me. Hin
missy. Twas me simple mind that med me think
that whin wan iv tn parties to rueticn had
lost both legs an an arm twas all over but tn
coroner's inquest didn't figure tn wake
because it's not etiket east iv tn dumps fr tn
man that caused tn wake for 10 jine in tn
festivities Be tn looks iv this case twill be a
long time between tn death iy tn deceased an
tn funeral We're in fr much socyal fstiyities
that may r-round up in US goin' to tn fure with
tn rilitives iv tn late departed, whin you an
me- Hinnissy thought had no more wurruk
to do but TO walk off with his joolry-
"Mzck's tn la-ad that knows tn etiket iv these
occasions 'Tis not his way 10 r-raec hOr-rses
10 tn cimitry. He does things in style. TIL
wake is held in Pahr's, where life is con-
tinyal r-round iv pleasure. Tn guests h'm this
side goes over with their families an tn ray
porther serambles up tn side iv tn ship befure
they lave, an says ne: Mrs ex-Sierety iv
Agriculture Zeke X. Jessop iv Oklahoma he says,
do We intend 10 do amy shoppin' in Pahr's, an
do you think ought to take tn Philippines or
cock thin into a shirtwaistF ne says. Mrs. ex-
Sicrety iv Agriculture Zeke r. Jessop smiles vi
vaciously an says she: 4 dent know What 70
think she says. But I'm pr-roud, she says, TO
be an Amurrican lady, she says, as often tell
me husband she says, AN if we don't get tn
Philippines, she says, III get bonnet thst'n
make tn Omaha hat iv tn wife iv tn mayor iv
Guthrie look like Chinese money, she says.
''An' thin they're of-an' in Pahr's they're
met be tn president iv France an tn sicrety
iv state an Cap Dreyfuss an all tn la-ads an
carrid of to breakiast-an' that's tn same as din
ner with You an me, Hinnissy-an' they meet
tn rilitives iv tn deceased. They'se lashins an
lashins to dhrink. 'Tis ixpinsive, but they don't
wake Spain in porther or ale Hinnissy. They
wake him in a drink that there hasn't been a
bottle w in this wa-ard since tn Indyans was
here.
"An' afther breakfast they set ar-round an
smoke their good tin-cint see-gars an thin its
off to tn Mullin Rouge, which is kind iv a
| theatyre. or tn cave iv tn ambassadors, which
seems to be a basement saloon where t. poly
tieians ARE TO be four d. AT night heyse hankit
give be tn presidint iv France an things to
dhrink, an ivrybody has a good time an tn
rilitives " tn remains puts up a good keen
about himsilf bein a dacint man but very poor
an 'twood be a shame fr 10 take his clothes an
thin all 20 over TO tn Roo Royal, that's like
| Clark sthreet. an have tn time iy their lives
Glow long will it last? 'Tis question " III
food supply Twill 90 on till they'se nawthin
left TO cook, an thin Frinch aT-re that handy
they eud make New England billed dinner out
| iv a cup iv wather an a iottlsry ticket Bet
wish twas over Not because It's expansive. I've
quit eompIainin' since l hetrd Mac& was goin
to make a wake, not an inquest, out " IT, An
not because want 10 know whether we have tn
Philippines or not. I'm that tired iv tn nip
pines I'd sell me intrest in thin fr pair " rub
Der boots. an / nivir 20 out whin it rains on ac
count iv me rhoomatism. But I'd give tn price
| iY tn quar,her's license TO be able 10 close uF
me place an go down to tn deepo an see what
Mrs. Zeke X Jessop " Oklahoma done IN tn
way iv hat I'll bet We that matther how
we come cut " tn wake, that good woman Il
capture lid that'll make N farmers between
here an tn Platte River think burnin' ilC
thrain is goin through tn counIhry.'