The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1898-02-08
SHOES CAME BACK.
HOW Mr.. AND MRS. ALGERNON SMITH
DISPOSED OF A NUISANCE.

They Couldn't Sell the Things, Couldn't
Give Them Away and Were Not Permit
ted to Lose Them-Finally Smith Thought
of the Furnace, and All Is Well.
A rag peddler was slowly passing
Mrs. Algernon Smiths house when that
good woman hailed him.
"How much for old shoes?"
''Helluv a cent pount for WOOL an
cotton CANT puy ole shoes "
''But won't you give me something
for them?''
"Any iron or pottles you want to sell,
lady? You want to sell dose things vat
you hat on? Helluv cent pount.
gan no more gift l want not dose shoes,
not for nottings. Nottings else?''
Mrs Smith Indignantly closed the
window When her husband came home
at night, she said:
"Algernon, want you to take lot
of old shoes I've done up in package
and throw them away.
"Why don't you give them to the
washerwoman?' asked Mr.. Smith.
"She won't have them-says they're
not her kind of shoes, was the answer.
''They are all either too large or too
small, the heels are too high, and they
are the wrong number. | offered them
to tramp, and he said when he went
into the shoe business he would let me
know-he wasn't buying misfts yet. "
81 like his impudence. Where are
they? I'll make short work of them, -
said Mr.. Smith, and he took the big
bundle his wife gave him and went out
In 10 minutes he was back
$50 you got rid Of them," said his
wife joyfully II think there was an
accumulation of six years in that lot
Some of them l had given to people
who were begging at the door, but al
ways found them again next day in the
lot. Old shoes are like cats, if you send
them away they always come back.
1.-THE cat won t come back this time, :"
said her husband II dumped them in
vacant lot and ran. After this when
you buy pair Of new shoes leave your
old ones at the store. "
Next morning as Mrs. Smith was do
ing her homework the door bell rang.
81 guess maybe you've had bur
glary, said the CHEEKY voice Of a man
who stood on the steps and seemed in a
hurry - found this bundle, with your
name and address on it, when I was
looking over my lot today.
Mrs Smith took the bundle and fee
bly, thanked him. When Algernon came
home, she told him. He said there were
more ways of killing cat than of chok-
ing her with butter, and after supper he
took up the bundle and went out.
He knew of nice dark place down
near church where he could slide in
and drop that load of shoes without be-
ing seen. He had taken the precaution
to tear off the address and had changed
the shape of the bundle. AS he deposit
ed it in the archway of this dark corner
a heavy hand was laid on his shoulder
No. you don't. No abandonment of
the little innocent when you get tired
of your own flesh and blood Pick up
the poor thing now or I'll club ye. "
1t was the new policeman on that
beat, and he didn't know Mr.. Smith.
He listened to his explanation with a
most aggressive and unbelieving air
"Lemme see the kid, - he demanded,
and when the kid proved to be kid
shoes he grew still angrier
1--we mind to run ye in for disturb
ing the peace and resisting an officer,
he said, but finally permitted Smith to
take his bundle and go home.
The next night smudge came out Of
the Smiths chimney, and the neighbors
held their noses About midnight a
loud rapping was heard at the front
door, and light III the basement was
hastily extinguished Mr. Smith an
swered the summons, while Mrs. Smith
hid in the coal cellar A patrol wagon
full of policemen was at the door One
of them was ON the steps
Are you running a glue factory here
without a hcense?" he demanded of
Smith
"Then what is that Internal odor?
Your neighbors have telephoned that
you were making yourself nuisance
and want you abated.
Smith took the crowd in and told his
story-how they had put those shoes in
the garbage box and had them turned
out again and how they had tried to sell
them or give them away and finally to
lose them Then he showed the police to
the basement and opened the door of the
furnace, where the shoes were being
cremated Then he produced some bot
ties with long necks that were sent for
his birthday, and for half an hour he
was busy pulling corks After some
time he released Mrs Smith from the
coal cellar
Are they gomez she gasped
1.-THE police?'
"No, no; the shoes "
Every scrap reduced to ashes. f"
They embraced, and happiness reigned
in the Smith household = Chicago
TT