The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-12-26
A HOG SUICIDE MACHINE
RAT sCARERs, HEN DFCEIVERs,
PERENNIAN ToMBSToNES.
Chicago Mans Plan For Sitting
Footpads With Gas Shot From a
Pistol-The Mechanical House
wife-Other Remarkable Inven-
tions By Wonderful Inventors.
New York SUM

"
to the patent Office an invention that is
patcntablc, and it is authoritatively
stated by members Of the older division
of patent examiners that numerous
patents have been issued to men con-
fined in insane asylums. One OF the
principal examiners, says the WASH
ington Star, has kept list OF some OIL
the freak inventions upon which pat
ents have been issued during recent
years. The specifications make curious
reading.
A patent was granted to a Chicago
man not long ago for an electric hog
killing apparatus The contriVance is
so devised that the unsuspicious hog
sticks his head through an aperture in
an electrically wired compartment,
closes a circuit by putting his head
against a metal sheet, and, with his
head firmly held within the aperture
by a drop apparatus, practically com
mits involuntary suicide. This may look
silly and impracticable, but the fnven-
ton is said to be now in use in numer-
Gus western pork-packing establish
ments.
Another man from the west recently
applied for a patent on an electrical
horse. The horse is fashioned Oh
aluminium, the body completely COW
cred with the hide of a deceased horse,
and in every respect the animal is
made to look 'as natural as life even
to the point of being fitted with move
able eyeballs. The horse is Intended to
run with the natural movements OF a
genuine, sure-enough, live horse, and,
according to the patentee, is capable
of making a speed of nearly mile
minute, just cantering.
PATENT ON A TOMBSTONE.
Several years ago a queer genius in
New England got an application on
patent tombstone-a metal affair in
VolVing numerous queer kinks and de-
signed to resist wind and weather for
many thousands of years. The
patentee has died since the issuance of
his patent, and it is said that one Of
his patent tombstoneS adorns his own
resting place in a small Massachusetts
! village with the following inscription
wrought in the metal:
Here lies Wendell, an inventor by trade,
And this, you will see, is an invention he
made.
IT'S strange to say, though it's truly said,
That he made it while living and enjoyed
it while dead.
During the last Sioux uprising, when
! it was feared that the dancing Ogalal-
las would make a very extensive sortie
| from their Pine Ridge headquarters,
! farmer in northern Nebraska got out
a patent on a combined pillow and can
non. 1t was devised for use against
the Indians. While blowing. in his
fields the crafty agriculturist provided
with one of these contrivances could,
by simply turning his ploW upside
down, load up a small but effective
cannon wherewith to scare or to shoot
nosing Indians. The cannon was pro-
vided with an ammunition box and all
of the appliances necessary for the
proper serving of the piece. 1t is not
thought likely that this inventor has
acquired riches through his invention
A patent that is devised for the be-
wilderment Of the abused hen is a
patent hens nest. The thing was got
ten up to prevent weasels, dogs, and
such from raiding hens nests and SUCK
ing the eggs. There is a small hole,
| concealed by a misunderstanding straw
flap in the center and bottom of the
nest, and through this secret orifice
the egg, as soon as the hen lays it, is
dropped to a padded cell below. The
patentee does not of course, dwell upon
the CONSERVATION, not to say the in
dignation, of the ordinary hen when she
turns around after her effort and finds
the egg missing from the nest.
THE MECHANICAL HOUSEWIFE.
A machine called "the mechanical
'housemaid' was patented a few years
ago. The apparatus churns butter,
washes and irons clothes, rocks the
baby, and, in fact, performs almost all
the rest of the household tasks eX-
cept plain and fancy automatic sew
ing The patentee, in his specifications,
describes the operation of the machine
at great length. You place your baby
in the cradle he says, in effect your
cream in the churn, your clothes to be
washed in the receptacle provided
therefor, etc, and the rest is the
merest turning OF a magical crank"
A patent that at first thought might
seem more impracticable than it really
is, according to the patent examiner
who passed upon the patentability of
the invention, is an elevator for rescu-
ing persons from the windows of burn
ing buildings The framework of the
elevator is run up into the air in much
the same fashion as the ladder of a
hook and ladder outfit, and this frame
work is capable of being extended tC
almost any height, close to the win
doWs of the burning building. Once
the framework is firmly adjusted, the
elevator at the bottom begins its
ascent, by means of pneumatic power
and in charge of a fireman. Then, al
that the frenZied people hanging out
Of the windows of the burning building
have to do when the elevator reaches
their floor is to step out on the plat
form of the same and take a hurried
ride to the ground, when the elevator
is ready for more aerial business. The
elevator is capable of accommodating
eight people, and its operation is sale
to be swift and successful. Inquiry
among the municipal fire departments
Of American cities fails to show, how
ever, that the invention has yet beer
adopted by any of them.
PARACHUTE FOR FIRES.
Another queer patent devised fol
the saving of human life from burning
buildings is a portable parachute CON
trivance, which the inventor aims tt
have installed in every room in every
hotel on the globe. The man who is
caught on the twelfth floor of burn.
ing hotel has only to fasten the para.
chute firmly to his head by means o.
chin and neck straps, and then jumI
into space, with or without 'muttere6
prayers" Before DOMINIC the portable
parachute he has fastened shoes will
thick rubber soles to his feet (the shoes
being part of the apparatuS), to breaI
the force of his fall. The only veal
feature of this patent consists in the
chin and neck straps of the portable
parachute. The patentee gave a. dem
onstration of the working of his con
trivance shortly after he received
patent hopping off the roof of a seven
story hotel, unbeknownst to the pro
prietor of the hostelry. The parachute
opened up all right but the inventors
descent was so gradual that he wa!
considerably more than three part!
hung by the neck before he reached the
| ground It took the whole day staff o.