The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1898-07-01

business, the soldiers of Uncle Sam are US
ually jolly lot of fellows, who dearly love
joke even when at their own expense.
They are also good story teners, and fine
story makers. Following are a few choice
jokes and stories from the various en-
campments:
Since the coming of the new recruits into
camp the veteran" troopers have been
having all sorts Of fun at their expense,
says a Chickamauga dispatch 10 Chicaso
paper. One man surprised Capt Prey this
morning by appearing a his tent door,
cracking his heels together and with most
formal salute asking for the keys to the
stables The stables are long ropes to trees
ana the horses are picketed under the open
sky. Another recruit was sent in search OF
butter checks; another made a fruitless eff
fort to get saber ammunition and another
tried to convince the quartermaster that
ne had an order for umbrellas for the
guard. Last night one of the new guards
insisted on calling, "All are we'll"
The other day." says the Chicago Tri-
bune, There was presented to Senator
Hanna a young Irishman who wanted
subordinate place in the army. The SEN
ator saw to it that his application was
properly filed. Nothing was heard of the
application or the young Irishman for sew
eral days until he sent his card through
the doorkeeper of the Senate Senator
Hanna promptly responded and with his
customary democratic frankness inquired
Well how's everything with you. Dugan?
I'm in trouble, said the would-be soldier
I got through the physical examination
all right, but they've downed me on the
cdtechIsm.' "
Col. Edward Duffy of the Sixty-ninth
Regiment at Tampa, has discovered a
means of furnishing the men in his COM
mand that has won the respect Of the en-
tire camp, says the New York Press Last
week the officer of the guard reported 70
the colonel that he had an obstreperous
prisoner
Put him in the guard house." said the
colonel
IT'S full" answered the lieutenant.
Set him to digging ditches."
"Shovels all in use, colonel"
Heavy marching order for two hours,
lieutenant" ordered the colonel.
He has just recovered from sunstroke,'
sir
bIiHS MIN III, COMMANDED Col
Duffy
The culprt was brought in He stood
defiantly before the commander of the
lighting Sixty-ninth. Col. Duffy pointed
his finger at the private and said in a tone
of thunder:
Private if you don't behave yourself
you will be sent homer
The mans jaw dropped his defiance
melted away, and since that he has been
the meekest man in the regiment
The coloneps threat has spread through
out the Sixty-ninth and all officers report
a marked improvement in discipline.
1t is releated of an Irish recruit on SEN
try duty at Chickamauga, one night that
he challenged a figure in the darkness
with the usual WHO goes there?" The
reply, 1.-The officer of the day." was
something he was not prepared for SO he
rsponde, "Then, phat the divil are yez
doin' out here at night?"
A team of four mules of the Fifth Illi-
nois performed the seemingly impossible
feat of running over tree twenty-five feet
high. says the Chickamauga dispatch. The
mules, needless TO say, were running away,
and army wagon was trailing at their
heels. The front pair split around pine
tree six inches in diameter aud twenty
five feet high. The second pair crowded
on, showed the first pair literally up the
tree, which bent under the weight, until
the top touched the ground, and the wag-
on passed over without injury. The tree
was barked to the top and bears ample
evidence that this tale is true. 1t is
vouched for, moreover, by Col Culver.
Lieut.. Colwell, and Chaplain Davis.
Sixteen men had reported to the Provost
sergeant for fatigue and were lined up in
front of the guard tent to receive instruc-
H. . I TIL
The provo" mad decided that fifteen men
would be enough for the work he had in
hand, and so he told the sixteen men. OF
course, each one had some particular rea-
son why he should be excused and the
provo was in quandary. After thinking
a second he gave the command, Attention!
The LATEST man step 10 the front l am GO
ing to let him go home Fifteen men stepp-
ed to the front. Addressing the man who
had not moved, the provo asked him why
he had not stepped out. "Cuz I'm too blame
tired" came the answer. II is unnecessary
to add that ne was the man TO go home
Reading the news from the front sits the
maid
The rose on her cheek fading pale in an
hour,
All, war plucks the dream that her yearn-
ing had made
AS the frost and the blight pluck the
fruit and the flower.
A wife with her children about her at eve.
Reading the news from the front with
sigh,
Finds hoping so lonely with scarce re-
/ prieVe
From the longing to go where the brave
fight and de.
A mother with SHOWS Of the years on her
head,
a father with limbs that are palsied with
age.
Readns the lists Of the wounded and dead.
Trembling and doubling ana turning the
page.
What is-the news from the battle to-day?
what is the message the bulletin brings?
Glory and triumph IL field and in fray.
Or the grief and the shock and The sor-
row that stings?
Roll, mighty presses. the world waits the
news,
Telling the story that brave pens indite;