Marietta daily leader. (Marietta, Ohio) 1895-1906, 1898-05-17
pooler 10 ni. Cousin George.

wen, sara MT. uenpessy AZ 'o
chastened Joy, Dewey didn't doa thing
to thin. l hope tn poor la-ad ISM
cooped up there in Minneapolis"
"Niyer fear" said Mr.. Dooley. calm
ly, cousin George is all fright"
"Cousin George9" Mr.. Hennessy ex
claimed.
Sure said Mr.. Dooley. Dewey Of
Dooley, tits all tn same. We dhrop
letter here an there, except tn
haitches-we niver dhrop thim-bu
we're tn same breed iv fghtin' men
Georgy has tn thraits iv the family
Me uncle Mike, that was handy mai
was tould wanst he'd be sint to hel
FIR his nanny sins, an he deserved it
FIR ravin' out tn wan sin iv runnin
away firm annywan he was booked f.
Everything firm murdher to missin
mass. Well he says, amy place
can get into he says, Il can get outiv,
he says. 'Ye bet on that he says.
$50 it is with Cousin George, HI
knew tn way in, an it's tn same way
out. He didn't go in be th' family
inthrance, sneakin' along with tn car
undher his coat. He left Ding Dong
or whativer tits ye call il, an says he
Thank Gawd, he says, I'm where Nc
Kinley can't give me his ideas iv how
to r-run quiltin' party an call it war,
he says. An so he sint man down ir
divin' shute an cut tn cables, SOS
Mack cuddent chat with him. Thin he
prances up to tn Spanish forts an
hands thin few oranges. Tosses
thin out like a man throwin handbills
t'r circus. Take that he says, an
raymimber tn Maine he says. An he
goes into tn harbor, where Admiral
What-th'-'ell is, an, says he, 'Surrin-
DER he says. 'Niver,' says tn Dago.
Well says Cousin George, I'll just
have to push ye ar-round, he says.
An he tosses few slugs at tn Span
yards. Th' Spanish admiral shoots at
him with bow an arrow an goes over
an writes cable. This mornin' we
was attackted,' he says. An, he says
we fought tn inimy with great cour-
age, he says. Our victhry is complete, ,
he says. We have lost ivrything we
had, he says. 'Th' threacherous foe,
he says, 'afther destroyin' us, sought
refuge behind mud.scow,' he says,
but nawthin' daunted us. What boats
we cuddent r-run ashore we surrind-
ered,' he says. 1 can not write 70
more he says, 'ss me coat tails are
afire,' he says an 1 am bravely but
rapidly leapin' firm wan vessel to an
other, followed he me valiant crew
with fire engine he says. If l can
save me coat tails he says, They'll be
no kick comin',' he says. Long live
Spain, long live mesilf.'
We'll. sir, in twinty-eight minyits
be tn clock Dewey he had all tn Span
ish boats sunk an that there harbor'
lookin' like Spanish stew. Thin he
r-run down tn bay an handed few
war-rm vans into tn town. He set it
on fire an thin wint ashore to warm
his poor hands an feet. 1t chills th'
blood not to have anything to do fr an
hour or so"
Thin why don't he write some
thing?" Mr.. Hennessy demanded.
Writer" echoed MI. Dooley, Write?
Why shud he write, Dye think Cousin
George amt got nawthin' to do but to
set down with a fountain pen an
write: Dear Mack: At o'clock be-
gun peaceful blockade iv this town.
Ye can see tn pieces Everywhere. /
hope ye'er injyin tn same great blessin'.
So no more at prisint. Firm ye'ers
thruly, George DooleS.' He amt that
kind. IT'S nice day, an he's there,
smokin' good tin-cint see-gar an
throwin' dice fr tn drinks. He don't
care whether we know what he's done
Dr. not. I'll bet ye whin we come to
ind out about him we'll hear he's ilict-
I'd himself king iv tn Filipino islands
Dooley tn Wanst. He'll be settin' up
mere unoher pa m three with naygurs
'annin' him an dhrop iv licker in TIL
,ollow iy his arm. an hootchy-koot-
,hy girls dancin' before him, an livery
lin or twintv minyits some wan bring
n a prisoner in. Who's this?'says King
Dooley, "A Spanish gin'ral, says tn
copper. Give him typewriter an set
him to wurruk,' says tn king. On
with tn Dance he says. An afther
awhile, whin he gifts tired iv th' game.
hell write home an say he's got tn
Stands, an he'll TURN thin over to tn
yovermint an go back to his ship, an
Mark Hannan organize tn Filipino
Islands Jute an Cider comp'nv, an tn
-ivolutchinists'll wish they hadn't
That's what'll happen. Mark me
d."-Chicago Journal.
When doctors fail try Burdock Blood
Bitters Cnres dvsnensia constipa t;op.