New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1898-05-23
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

"of course. John" said teacher reported by
THE Detroit Journal" you would rather be right
than be President
After thinking the matter FOR few mo-
ments. John cautiously replied: We'll. I'd rather
be right than be Vice President"
A barber OF Lubec Ne. has closed his shop and
posted the following notice the door:
To the Public. This bArber-shop will be closed
or pre- pe'l91, as ,ne ppoPrstoF mas gone 70
soldiers scrape tho face OF the Western Hems-
phere clear Of an obnoxious growth OF whiskers,
commonly called Spanaris. shall not be gone
AFTER and eyefyins points to qnick P JOB and i"
clean one wish TO thank the public FOR past
patronage and on my return nope TO have share
Mr.. Flzzngton is quite lnguist. isn't hep"
on. yes he talks three languages
Horse baseball and golt."-(Chicago News
The Mormons are becoming very active in New
Zealand. and IL IA stated that eight mis-
slonares their way from Salt Lake City TO
this colony. They intend to work principally among
the Maors. Of whom there already four thou
sand members OF the Mormon Church.
Fret Family Mani ike summer the best. There
is no snow-shoyeliing. you know. and no furnace
Second Family Man-There's something IN that;
but | think prefer winter In the winter, you
know. you don't have 10 wet down the front yard
shove lawn -mower.-(Boston Transcript.
Says The London Chronicle: Admiral Dewey's
interruption OF the battle OF Manila Bay 10 give his
crews opportunity o: breaking their fast recalls
our own glorious LIST OF June when Earl Howe.
before he gave the French such hammerng on
Ushant hove TO for an hour before attacking 10
permit OF his mea terrifying themselves for the
coming fight with a good meal-a pause which
caused much conjecture In the minds OF the aston
ishod French. II has ever been the Ahglo-Saxon
way fight. II possible full stomach. Wei
ngton said that II ever he wanted Irish
a certain hour all he had to do 10 promise the
former a drink getting 10 It's destination. the
latter its pay. but that the corresponding bait 70
an English battalion good dinner OF roast
beef"
One of the candidates for the State Senate down
in jefferson County, Alabama, was Il prominent
help push him along. The story goes that he was
sampaisning on country beat ana had the good
Bapusts, , Wnsher prayer, meeting had Just
was was" is not known About this time light shower
came up. end the candidate at once raised large
afraid Of this little shower, are YOU, Brother =?
remarked one good BAPTIST. standing near. Not
you know l am opposed to all forms OF 'sprnk-
ling He carried that beat solidly. New orleans
Times Democrat.
Before the rinderpcst killed so many cattle in
Natal, South Africa. the price OF wife was eleven
head OF cattle. equal TO about fS3 but now
that the Government should ordain that three head
for the present must be recognized the price OF a
wife. should make it rule that the money equiva-
lent may be paid whore cattle are unprocurab.e
II understand that Bindle Is going to apply for a
pension"
Upon what grounds. would Ike to know? He
never fought for his country"
mo. but he came the Paris and his
nervous system was upset"-(Chicago News
The Connecticut Courant and Hartford Weekly
III, -
origin OF the word Yankee: "A correspondent has
favored us with the following etymology of the
word Yankee: When the New England colonies
were first settled the inhabitants we're Obliged To
fight their way against many nations OF Indians
They found but li;tle difficulty In subduing them
ALL except tribe who were known by the name
OF Yankoos. which signifies Invincible' After tho
waste OF much blood and treasure the Yankoos
were at last subGued by the New England men,
The remains of this nation agreeable the Indian
CUSTOM transferred their name to their conquerors
For while they called Yanhoos but from
corruption common to names I'm all languages they
got through time. the name of Yankees a name
which hope will be equal to that OF n
Roman, or ancient Engshman"
Extreme Caution.-"I caught myself Just in time
this morning" exclaimed Mr. Meekton ii came
very annoying Henrietta quite severely"
by some rcmnrk?"
NO started 10 whistle The Girl I Left Re-
hind Me- but stopped before she could recog-
she dislikes the tune. them"
Il don't know that she diskes the tune But 7
am sure Henrietta would resent any insinuaIion
VIA. IL. occasion might wv aS S ssa