Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1898-02-27
A VERY WISE VETO.
THE IDLER TALKS ABOUT THE
BILL For FEMALE NoTARIEs.
ApPLIUDS THE GOVERNORS ACT.
lint shows Where the Executive
Took Precautions Not to Bring
wrath on Himself-Curbstone He
roism and War whoops.

They are mad-Very nau-dnu Soino Va
them are even calling Governor Tyler
names" and saying he is a mean old
thing" But 1t isn't true, for two rea-
sons-lrst, because he isn't mean, no
matter how you take him, and, secondly,
because even though he were mean he
isn't old. and what is more. there are
some people in his family who don't pro-
pose to have this adjective applied TO
him. These hard charges are made
against our Executive by the disgruntled
wearers of petticoats, who wanted to be-
come notaries public. and who would have
accomplished this object but for the In
tervention of the gubernatorial no, which
came in the form Of veto TO the bill al
lowing this privilege to the remnant
hunters. But Governor Tyler hasn't lived
In Southwest Virginia for nothing, and
though he is a confessed farmer he has
learned to be just as foxy as city folk.
! What did he do when he vetoed that bill?
Did he voluntarily stick his nose into a
| feminine hornets nest or deliberately
| open a Pandoras box Of she bumblebees
without so much as providing himself
with wizard oil or sticking-plaster? Not
bit of it.; he saddled the whole thing on
Jack Montague. the Acknowledgement,
and. chuckling in his sleeve, he babe the
goden-moustached Benjamin p owen,
secretary, HE himself unto the Legisla-
ture and there toss the dangerous statu-
| tory boomerang back at its promulgators.
The message laid all the blame on the
devoted head Of Montague, and quoted in
extenso this officials views on the deli
cate subject Of womans political inca
pacity. Now, the Attorney-GeneraPs bro
Their Just few days prior to this occur
renee had had blood-curdling interview
with a maniac, and without wishing to
| place women In the same category with
| persons non compos mentis, think am
| justified in saying that our sunny legal
representative naturally thought he had
had enough excitement in his family for
some little time, without tackling single
handed band of Amazons who consider
ed themselves as good as men. In other
words, have reason to suspect that Mr..
Montague would have preferred for the
Governor to pick his own chestnuts out
OF the fire. So, in tender consideration Of
the toughness of the Governors incon-
sideration. Mr.. Montague, knowing full
Well the fury Of womans wrath, doubtless
determined that he would be foxy ditto
and shift his responsibility. too. He knew
in his heart OF hearts that women didn't
have any more business being notaries
than they have turning out whiskers, but
| all the same he scratched around power
fully to find some other fellow to set
them on. Just as he had given up in ter
ror, and was quivering with fear at the
results Of a candid statement of his
views an idea struck him a solar-plexus
GLOW and he leaped heavenward with the
light-heartedness OF India-rubber. why
not blame it on the Constitution he
said, and blame il on the Constitution he
did. Here's the way he worked it in
his opinion: Are women eligible to this
office as prescribed by this bill? The Con-
stitution itself must supply the answer"
| Whereupon the foxy Attorney cites cases
and sicks the gum-chewers on the de-
| parted spirits who attended the constitu-
| tional convention Foxy Governor
smooth, satlny Attorney General; poor,
unfortunate members Of the constitutional
convention, some Of you are going to
catch It, You may be young and plous
and good, but beware lest some day you
awake with the awful brand OF "horrid,
mean old thing" tattooed indelibly on
you by the keenest of all earthly needles
woman's tongue.
|
A learned phrenologist recently said
| that ne could tell a mans character by
the bumps on his Qhe man's) head. Some
one else remarked that he could not go
quite so far as that, but that he could
tell the character OF the mans wife by
the bumps on the husbands head. This
little joke, translated from the ante
deluvian Assyrian by an expert in
cuneform characters, aptly depicts the
| present relations OF man and woman
and plainly shows that henceforth every
A effort OF legislation should go to protect
the weaker sex-that is. the sex with
bumps on their head. We have got to
| Join issue somewhere and / am glad TO
see that the members of the constitu-
tional convention, through Mr.. Montague,
and finally, through our worthy Governor,
have dared TO intimate that women can't
run our government, or, TO express 1t
more automatically. that our government
can worry along without them. Now
notaries public are supposed to be con-
SENATORS OF the peace, and how, In the
name OF gracious, 1 perspiringly ask,
can women conserve the peace? The lit
| tie horticultural episode which launched
| humanity into suffering and sin was due
| entirely to one OF these would-be notaries
public, and from that day TO this present
moment, when take my pen In hand (not
feet) they have done all they could to
bat peace out of the box and knock the
| corner of concord. We see two men
| fighting on the street, or chewing one
another's ears. or whetting their knives
or otherwise becoming mutually destruc-
tive, and the first question we ask Isl:
who's the woman?' Our conclusion
quick, almost as the fall from a banana
peel-is, that there's a lady I'm the case
How, / ask again, can the fair 0hough
most frequently unfair ones be conserya-
tors of the peace? And as to taking our
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES another fruit
full source OF discord. DO you suppose
though. Of course, you don't, II you have
a wife--that one woman would want her
husband to be swearing TO things be-
fore another woman, especially when
said swearing feat ended with a kissing
performance? II your consort dropped in
just about the time that she heard your
fangs snap together with an osculatory
click and she beheld in front OF you a
pretty notaryess. do you suppose you
could persuade her that you had been
kissing "the Book? Don't try the ex-
periment-don't take the chances TO In
vestigatel We have already executed
too many deeds OF trust before the unfair
SEX nor were we satisfied with their
deeds OF release. So, too. we have often
sworn before them and likewise we have
been deposed, but / don't recolect that
these performances were altogether plea
SAINT. Granting. moreover. for the sake
Of peace In the family. that the kiss
ing feature or taking Acknowledgements
is unobjectionable, you don't suppose that
n vvonnan'a curiosity could rest easily II