davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1898-11-10
NONPLUSED JOKERS.
One Verse of Poetry Paid for Robbie
Burns Dinner.

One Verse of Poetry Paid for Robbie
Burns Dinner.
Here is story told of Robert Burns
In his youth: Burns was living In the
town OF Ayr, and, though still young,
had attained more than a local reputa-
ton as poet. One day he was pass
Ing through the main street Of the
town and saw two strangers sitting at
one OF the inn windows. With idle
curiosity he stopped to look at them.
Seeing him, and thinking that the
rustic might afford them some amuse-
ment while waiting, the strangers call
ed him in and asked him to dine with
them. Burns readily accepted the in
vitation and proved merry, entertain
ing guest. When dinner was nearly
finished the strangers suggested that
each should try his hand at verse max
Ing, and that the one who failed to
write a rhyme should pay for the din
ner. They felt secure in their chal-
lenge, believing that their rustic guest
would pay for the meal. The rhymes
were read and Burns read the follow
ing: Il, Johnny Peep, saw two sheep;
two sheep saw me. Half crown apiece
will pay for their fleece, and l, Johnny
Peep, go free. The strangers aston
ishment was great, and they both ex-
claimed: "Who are you? You must be
Robbie Burns"
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1898-11-10
A FATHERS STORY.

From The Eventng Crescent, appleton, WITS.
A remarkable cure for a disease which
has generally wrecked the lives Of children,
and left them in a condition to which death
itself would be preferred, has attracted q
great amount Of attention among the res
idents of the west end of Appleton.
The case is that Of little Willard Creech,
son of Richard ID. Creech, a well known
employee of one of the large paper mills in
the Fox River Valley. The lad was attacks
by spinal disease and his parents had given
ap all hope of his ever being well again
when, as by a miracle, he was healed and is
now in school as happy as any of his mates.
Mr. Creech, the father of the boy, who
resides at 1862 Second Street, Appleton,
Wisconsin, told the following story:
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1898-11-10

Perhaps the oldest bride and groom
in Michigan are Mr.. and Mrs. Clement
Chapman, aged respectively II and rs,
living near Metamora. They were
married last week at Oxford by Rev. S.
Snyder, aged 70.
The Michigan Portland Cement Co.
has come in possession of nearly 4OC
acres of land near Quincy containing
the finest quality of mari. The com
pany will erect the largest plant of its
kind in the world.
The Mass, Ridge, Ogemaw, Hazard
and Merrimac copper mines near
Greenland, Ontonagon county, have
been consolidated under the name OF
the Mass Consolidated Mining Co..
with $4,000, 900 capital. The property
comprises 5000 acres and will employ
500 men.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1898-11-10
A SIRDAR'S BULLET.
Don. kitehensr's Singular Experience IN
the Campaign of 1855.


the Campaign of 1888.
The Slrdar OF the army in Dgypt.
on whom the eyes OF Englishmen are
now turned from every quarter Of the
empire, has had very extraordinary
experience, having swallowed a bull
let with which he had been wounded,
and which he now preserves as a me-
mento. During the campaign OF '8S
Major Kitchener was hit In the side
OF the face by bullet, during a
skirmish near Suakim, and was taken
down the Nile, and thence to the
Citadel hospital at Cairo, where, de-
spite all the efforts of the surgeons.
the bullet could not be located. the
X-rays being then unknown. On the
authority of Sergeant Billion, late OF
the medical staff corps, who Is now
In London. and who was then special
ly detailed to look after the injured
officer, the wound was healthy one,
and very soon healed. and the medi-
cal officers came to the conclusion that
the bullet had worked it's way out
without being noticed on the passage
down the Nile. Billion one day tempt
ed his patients appetite with a tasty
beef steak, which the major had no
sooner attacked than he put his hand
to his throat exclaiming: Billion, II
there's no bone in the steak, I've
swallowed that bullet; felt 1t 60
down." This proved to be the case.
the bullet passing through the ali
mentary canal without injury to the
distinguished officer.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1898-11-10
DOWN ON THE FARM.
Tillers of the Soil Appreciate the Little
Wonder-Worker

- -
Wonder Worker.
Near the little town of Woods Cor
ners, about six miles from Ionia, resides
r. l.. Piersou. Mr.. Pierson, a farmer
by occupation, and like all hard-work-
ing tillers of the soil he has found the
burdens the back must bear no light
load to carry. Few people who never
lived on a farm appreciate what it
means to follow the pillow from sunrise
to sunset, but if the public in general
don't know how hard such work is, the
kidneys do. Long hours of work of
any kind means long hours for the kid
neys, and they can't stand it without
rebelling. When the farmer comes
home tired out at night, if he only
realized that the tired feelings mostly
always came from tired kidneys, and
that the little wonder-workers, Doan's
Kidney Pills, would right the wrong
brought on by over-work, life would
be easier for him. Read what Mr..
Pierson says about his experience:
/ noticed when 1 stopped. lifted or changed
my position suddenly, early IN the fall Of 1897,
that was always rewarded with sharp pains
dcrOSS inc Si1dil OF my Duck, unu IN tue morn
ing was so lame and sore that / could scarcely
get out OF bed. The too frequent action OF the
kidney Secretions, especially annoying nj night,
plainly indicaUed that my kidneys were the
cause OF the trouble. L had often heard Doans
Kidney Pills spoken about by my neighbors,
and as IL was the first time / required such
preparation, procured n box. noticed their
beneficial effects in a day or two and continued
the treatment until my backache was cured and
the other weakness was thoroughly relieved. j
make no mistake when say that Doans Kid
ney Pills cure backache and kidney complaint.
Doan's Kidney Pills are sold by all
dealers Price so cents per box, or six
boxes for $3.50 Mailed by Foster Mil
burn Co., Buffalo, N. Y. Sole agents
for the United States.
Remember the name "Doan's' and
take no substitute
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1898-11-10
A PERFECT BAKING POWDER.

The constantly increasing demand for Dr. Prices
Cream Baking Powder, the standard cream Of tartar
powder for forty years, is due to two causes
F1KSf:-The extreme care exercised by the man.
ufacturers to make it pure uniform in quality
and of highest leavening power. Skilled chemists
test every ingredient to purity and strength
SECOND:-Recent State investigations show that
the majority of other baking powders contain alum,
andconsumers are giving such powders wide BERTH
Nothing is left to chance in the manufacture of
DR.. Prices Cream Baking Powder
1t is pronounced by all authorities as free from alum
or other aduterant 1t never disappoints. Each can
is like the other. The BEST is ALWAYS the
CHEAPEST.
Awarded Highest Honors Worlds Fair Chicago 1887
Special Gold Medal California Midwinter Fair 1884.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1898-11-10
TELECRAPHIC BITS.

lola, the French author, will make
a lecture tour of the United States.
Mrs. Gen. Brooke has gone to Porto
Rico to join her husband. They will
reside in the governors palace at San
Juan.
| The revenue cutter McCulloch, which
was part of Dewey's fleet at Manila,
has been ordered to San Francisco to
resume revenue duty.
| M. Zinovieff, the Russian ambassador
to Turkey, has formally proposed the
appointment of Prince George of
Greece, as governor of Crete.
The earl and countess of Mimic have
sailed from Liverpool for Canada. The
earl of Mimic succeeds the earl of Aber-
deem as governor-general of Canada.
Navigation on the upper Yukon river
between Dawson and the lakes has
| closed for the season and all river
steamers have gone into winter quar-
tiers.
Maj. Gen. Henry w. Lawton, re-
Gently in command at Santiago, has
been ordered to command the Second
army corps, relieving Gen. Graham,
recently retired
A Berlin correspondent says Russia
has declined to support France in the
Fashoda affair, fearing that a reopen
ing of the Egyptian question would in
terfere with her tremendous task in
China.
A train carrying 1873 sailors and IL
officers from England for the British
Pacific squadron was wrecked near
Rat Portage, Manitoba. Two sailors
were killed and several severely in
jured.
1t is said the navy department has
practically decided to abandon work
on the wrecked Spanish warships at
Santiago because of the great expense.
There is no hope that the Vizcaya or
Almirante Oquendo can ever be saved.
The emperor and empress of Germany
are curtailing their visit TO the Holy
Land. They have abandoned their
trip to Jericho, owing to the European
complications. 1t is said the car of
Russia is angry at Emperor William
for his attempt to transcend Russian
influence in Turkey.
Gen. Wood, military governor of
Santiago, is preparing Thanksgiving
proclamation, being of the opinion that
the Cubans ought to give thanks for
the blessings they have received. The
Americans want to keep the day in
old-fashioned style, and are writing to
their friends in the north to send on
turkeys.
The bishops of the Methodist Epis-
copal church, at their semi-annual con
ference at Springfield, Mass, voted to
call for a ''2Oth century thank offering
of $50, 900, 0OO." The funds will be col
lected at intervals before Jan. /, 1901.
The money will be devoted TO the i'm
provement of educational and charita-
bic institutions now maintained by
the M. L. church.
Emperor William proceeded to Mt.
Zion, where occurred the ceremony of
hosting the German and Turkish flags
on piece of ground which, according
to tradition, was formerly occupied by
the abode of the Virgin Mary, and
which the sultan presented to the Ger
man emperor. The latter subsequently
formally presented the ground to the
German Catholics.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1898-11-10
A Gigantic Grand Duke.

The only man known who is
obliged to take his own bed with him
wherever he travels is the Grand Duke
Paul of Russia. He is so very tall
that 1t is impossible for him to OBJ
tain a comfortable nights rest unless
he can sleep in his own bed, which
was made specially for him. The bed
itself is constructed so that 1t can be
packed into a small trunk.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1898-11-10

The property 9nts in dogs are sus-
tanned in Graham Us. Smith (Ga.), 40
L. r. A. 500, by holding that the owner
of dog can maintain trover for its
recovery in case of its wrongful con-
version. That dog may be subject of
larceny Is also decided in Handy VS..
Samson Qowa), 40 L. r. A. sos, under
statute making 1t a crime to steal
"chattels." With these cases is an ex-
tensive review of the authorities on
the subject OF property rights in dogs.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1898-11-10

Little Colds" eglected-thousands
of lives sacrificed every year. DR..
Woods Norway Pine Syrup cures little
colds-cures big colds too, down to the
very verge Of consumption.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1898-11-10

What's the secret of happy, vigorous
health? Simply keeping the bowels,
the stomach, the liver and kidneys
strong and active. BurdocL Blood
Bitters does it.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1898-11-10

1t is reported that SPANS exhaustive
argument against the cession of the
Philippines to the United States has
had the result of making the officials
at Washington all the more determined
TO take the islands.
A careless engineer at the Exeter
colliery of the Lehigh Valley Coal Co. j.
near WillSesbarre, Pa, caused three
ears Of coal, weighing IL tons, to run
into the top of the shaft, falling 500
feet down the shaft and crushing a car
riage containing 10 men. Seven were
instantly killed and the others fatally
injured,
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1898-11-10

A face that cannot smile is like a
lantern without light.
Knock down liar and you hit the
devil square in the face.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1898-11-10
Anthony Trollope Advocated Union

1t is interesting to recall the fact
that Anthony Trollope, the novelist.
was one Of the first Englishmen to
speak up in favor of the United States
annexing Cuba. This - did thirty
eight years ago.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1898-11-10

Years of suffering relieved in night.
Itching piles yield at once to the cura-
tive properties of Doan's Ointment.
Never fails. At any drug store, so cents.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1898-11-10

Perhaps there is more kindness in
every heart than we look for.
A rich, mellow, winning voice makes
any conversation success.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1898-11-10
Lanes Family Medicine.

Moves the bowels each day. In order
to be healthy this is necessary. Acts
gently on the liver and kidneys. Cures
sick headache. Price 25 and soc.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1898-11-10

Diphtheria relieved in twenty min
utes. Almost miraculous DR.. Thomas
Eclectric Oil. At any drug store.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1898-11-10

We seldom remember predictions
that do not come true
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1898-11-10
Correction.

II want to say that you have treated
me rotten" the pugilist dictated.
Don't you mean rottenly?" his press
agent ventured to ssk.-Indianapolis
Journal,
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1898-11-10
GRAIN, ETC.

'Detroit-Hay. No. timothy, ss5D per ton
Potatoes, &c per bu. Live Poultry spring
chickens, &c per ID; fowl. &c; turkeys Sc:
ducks, bhc. Eggs, strictly fresh I7c per doz
Butter, best dairy, lsc per Id: creamery, &c.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1898-11-10

BE fit for more than the one thing
you are now doing.
The body may be clean but the soul
alone can be pure
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1898-11-10

If you joke, laugh most heartily at
the joke that hits you.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1898-11-10

The first paper ever made in the
world was manufactured by wasps.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1898-11-10

TO CURE A COLD IN ONE DAY
Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets. All
druggists refund the money II IL fails TO cure.
2oc. The genuine has l.. Is @. on each tablet
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1898-11-10

War DESTROYS men, but luxury de.
stroys mankind.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1898-11-10

All the world will beat the man
whom fortune bullets.
The assessed valuation of the United
states is SG5, 900, 600
PEOPLE TALKED ABOUT.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1898-05-21
A Peculiar lPt,rsuit.

Chicago tRecofd4 IntNew york GER
tain Observation-Disclosures a 1ew
occupation winch is SAID to be very
profitable. 1t Us the Inatural result of
a practice thatNis commbn in all cities
the system of moral blackmail for
the benefit Observation-Disclosures. When
a lecture or az tea ora concert or any
other entertainment ifort charity is Civ
en- it has been customary for the man
ayers to send punches Of tickets to per-
ons of means, with letters asking
them to buy!or ~disposetof the same and
forward the money to the treasurer.
The new plan is for sthe managers of
these entertainments to, attack the
counting rooms, banks, lawyers and
business offices downtown by canvass
ers-usually young LADIES of attractive
appearance and lively manners-who
are paid a commission of 20 per cent
of the ticketsi sold. They visit the Of
flee buildings during business hours
and not only solicit the tenants, but
any person who happens to- be there,
and are usually successful lin selling
large numberSsof tickets. A broker
who occupies a'aeonvenient Office on
broadway tells me that not a day
passes without the appearance of
three or four sufhI canvassers. Some
times the young 'la3ies conduct them
selves in such an Improper ann as
to shock even avstotk broker. ills usu-
ally impossible to tell whether the en-
t~ertainments are genuine or fraudu-
lent, for the profits Of these enter
prises have been, SO great that profess
sional swindlers are working the
scheme with greatsuacess.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1898-05-21
Control OF Pausied Hands.

Kansas City Star: The control men
get over their hands by constant prhc-
tice was being discussed. One cited
the case of an artist who is afflicted
with palsy so badly that he cannot
convey his food orrdrink to his mouth
unaided. And yet this man with pal
ate and brush in hand canipaint as well
as he ever could. Before his brush
touches the canvas his hand trembles
violently, but the moment he feels the
brush touch his picture his stroke be-
comes firm and strong and just what
he desires il to be.
Almost "A parallel case is that of a
veteran soldier well known in Kansas
City, Peg Leg" Smith. Smith is now
i'm the Soldiers home in Leavenworth.
When in Kansas City NE used to run
a cigar wheel at the city hall square.
Smith comes to Kansas City fire.
quently, and when here likes to go'to a
shooting gallery on Walnut street. and
shoot at the targets. He is "a good
shot and enjoys looking along n rife
barrel. Smith has the palsy in an
alarming degree. When he raises the
rife and aims it at the target ii jerks
around i'm such a lively manner that
one would wager he could not hit the
side of a house. But just as he is about
to pull the trigger his hand steadies
and the next instant the bell rings.
The palsied man has hit the bulls eye.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1898-05-21
lssionately. VI knew evil enough

handed, passionately. II knew evil enough
OF your world, but | did not know this. This
woman IL sweet-yoiccd. her face Is fair, her
hair Is golden, her hands are white and soft,
her manners caressing and gentle; but you
see her soul Is sordid-it was not large enough
to prevent her marrying an old man for his
money. Something teliy me that the ven
geance L have promised myself is not far
off,"
Miss Hastings wrnng her hands in silent
dismay.
"Oh, for something To redeem yol, Pauline
something to soften yo,r heart, which is
hardening into sin ~
Il do not know OF aGy earthly influence
that could, as you say', redeem me. | know
that | am doing wrong. Do not think that I
have transformed vice into virtue and have
Blinded myself. | know that somc people
can rise to q far grander height; they would,
instead of seeking vengeance, pardon in
iuries. | cannot-l never will. There is no
earthly influence that can redeem me, be-
cause there is none stronger tilan my own
will"
The elder lady looked almost hopelessly al
the younger one. How was she 10 cope with
this strong nature-a nature that could own
q fault, yet by strength OF will persevere in
1t? She felt that she might as well try to
check the angry waves of the rising tide as
try to control this wi!lful, WndiscIplined dis.
position.
How often in after years these words re-
turned to her mind; II know of no earthly
influence stronger than my own will"
Miss Hastings sat in silence for.some min
utcs, and then she looked at the young girl.
what shape will your vengeance take,
Pauline?' she asked, calmly.
IL do not know. Fate will shape it for
me; my opportunity will come in time"
Vengeance Is II very Understanding
word,' observed Miss Hastings, but the
thing Itself generally assume very prosaic
forms. You would not descend to such q
vulgar deed as murder, for instance; noI
would you avail yourself of anything so com.
monplacc rs poison"
NO" replied Pauline, with contempt:
those are mean reyenges. | will hurt hei
where she has hurt me-where all the love OF
her heart is garnered; there will / wound hel
rs She has wounded me. Where she can fee
most there | mean to strike, and strike
home.'
Then YOU have no definite plan arrang
cd?' questioned Miss Hastings.
Fate will play into my hands when the
time comes" replied Pauline. Nor could
the goyernoSs extract auglIt further from
her.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1898-05-21
Wendell Phillips Retort.

DR.. Furness of Philadelphia tells 9
characteristic story about Wendell Phil.
lips. Several clergymen," he says
Boarded a street car in Boston one day,
and one of them hearing it intimated
that Wendell Phillips was in the car, got
up and asked the conductor to point him
out. The conductor did so, and the
minister, going up to the orator, said.
You are Mr.. Phillips, l am toldP'
Yes, SIR Il should like to speak to
you about something, and / trust, sir,
you will not be offended There is no
fear of it., was the sturdy answer, and
then the minister began to ask Mr..
Phillips earnestly why he persisted in
string up such an unfriendly agitation
in one part of the country about an
evil that existed in another part.
"Why," said the clergyman, do you
not go south and kick up this fuss and
leave the north in peacep Mr.. Phil.
lips was not the least unruffled, and
answered, smiling: You, sir, / pre-.
sumo, are a minister of the gospel?' j
am, SIR said the clergyman. And
your calling is to save souls from
help Exactly, SIR Well, then,
why don't you go therep'" - Life.
Calendar.
Old Lady-Why are you two men
using such frightful languagep Ragson
Tatters. We'll, lady, me an me pard
has to exchange heated words fur ter
keep warm, not havin' no o~vercoats.-
Philadelphia Record.
The teachers Of Junction City, Kan,
have been forbidden by the local edu.
c%ational board to attend more than one
dance per week.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1898-05-21
HE WAS AN 81" CAR HOG.
But the Quiet Young Man Got Completely
square"

The 81" car hos is he who tries to
occupy, to the exclusion of anyone else,
one of the cross seats in the center OF
the car. He utterly ignores the fact
that these seats are "built for two" and
is II crusty, crowding ncighbor to any
II who has the audacity to sit beside
him. Regular patrons Of the a." roads
know this hog-thoug. his name is al
most legion-and usually give him 3
wide berth.
Last Wednesday, just rs an uptown
train was leaving Twelfth street a
young man entered one of the cars. lie
]sauntered through and found that the
only vacant place was beside one OF
these typical hogs in n cross seat. The
young man paused and looked at the
other man, but the hog sat squarely in
the center of the seat and looked uncon.
cernedly out of the window. SO the
young man, rather than take the crowd.
ing which the hog would be sure to in.
ilict, passed through and stood on the
platform.
When the train stopped at Eighteenth
street the only passenger to get aboard
was a rather ru~sty-looking man who
certainly weighed over 800 pounds.
The young man was quick witted
enough to see his chance.
"Do you want to earn a half dollar?'
he demanded.
"Sure."
"See that man in the cross seattle
only n who is sitting alone"
81 see him."
well, take this half-dollar and then
go and sit in the same seat with him.
Don't be afraid of crowding him."
The rusty-looking individual obeyed
His more than 800 pounds of tissu,
forced the glazing hog to the window,
He was crushed and squeezed by hii
bulky neighbor. The hog began to
fume, fuss and frown, but said never s
word, though he was now able to oc,
cupy but a quarter of the seat. The
other passengers were quick to not,
the discontinue of the hog and grinned
their appreciation. The hog perceived
this and fumed some more. The only
one who appeared utterly unconscious
was the rusty-looking man who weighed
over 300.
But the 81" car hog never admits de
feat. This specimen didn't. He stuck
TO his now narrow perch ever aftel
there were other seats empty and SO die
the fat man. They rode to Forty-thirC
street together, and it was a very baC
half hour for the hog.
The young man who had instigateC
it all got off at Thirty-ninth street anC
a seraphic smile was on his face. CHI
c1qo Times.