The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1898-12-08
MISTAKEN IDENTITY.
AN AMERacAN's ADVENTURE IN THE
AUSTRIAN CAPITAL.

He Was Pestered with BeGgars and
Tried a clever Ruae to Escape
Them, which Came Very Nearly
Ending DisaatrOuHly Fer Himself.
The man who was abroad recently pulled
away on a very good cigar that had found
its way past the customs officers at New
York and smiled retrospectively.
"a funny thing happened TO me while
was in Vienna" he said; funny and
disagreeable, too-deuced disagreeable.
You see, I was always recognized as an
American and pestered by beggars. A
happy thought came TO me. I bought
some cosmetic and made up as native. I
found it worked splendidly for time.
Pretty soon noticed that a man in
dark clothes was observing me very close
ly. He crossed so closely in front Of me
that almost stun bled against him. Then
he turned abruptly and walked away.
Five minutes later Rs was looking into
shop window a heavy hand grasped my
arm. Almost instantly another heavy
hand clutched my other arm. I looked
around hastily. 1 was in the hands of
two stern looking chaps in uniform. Be-
hind them stood the man in dark clothes.
tried to pull away, I tried to protest. Tt
was useless In five minutes they had
swiftly walked nae to some sort of police
station and had me facing wFinkled old
fellow with huge white mustache.
''Of course caught on to what the
trouble was. In my internal disguise they
had taken me for some COMPOUNDED Grim
inal. I didn't make any more protests. I
just let EN- go ahead with their funny
work. They went through my pockets
and felt me all over and made up a pile of
my effects on the desk. There were few
letters and a notebook and a pocket
knife and pencil and some money. They
L. lat 81
of them said, 'Englisoh, and then looked
back at me with a cunning sheer, as much
as to say 1 couldn't fool them with any
such simple subterfuges. Well, pretty
soon they produced a big pair of manacles
and then I did kick. talked turkey to
them for several seconds-and American
eagle too. They listened to me gravely
and finally one of them stepped out and
almost Immediately brought in Another
officer, and he talked to me in what fancy
was very poor Italian. I think he called
me Luigi, but couldn't make out much
of anything he said. I answered him in
fluent United States, pointing to my let
ters and repeating English several times
Pretty soon the italian translator shook
his head in disgust. I guess he thought
was shamming. Then they brought in
another man, and I soon found out that
he could talk little English.
'Spreohen sic Englisch?' I Dried.
4aw, he answered, with some hest
tation.
'' Then get me cake of soap, cried,
and some water and towel
" 'HuhP he said, you eat soap-you
keel yourselluf.'
g No. said, I won't keel naysslluf.
Why should I kill myself
IS You anaroheest, he replied.
ST laughed at that, and after few mo-
ments of jabbering with the others he hus-
tied away and brought back what I want
ed It didn't take me long to wash off
that internal dye, and when I emerged
from behind the towel was no more like
their COMPOUNDED Luigi than I was like
the sphinx.
''Well, the upshot of it all was that they
sent me back to the hotel in charge of the
man in the dark clothes, who found out
from the proprietor all he knew about me,
and thereupOn restored my property and
left me with what I understood to be a
brief apology.
land you can just put up something
handsome that the first thing did was to
chuck that Internal cosmetic straight out
of the window. "-Cleveland Plain Dealer.