The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1898-01-05
THE MORNING NEWS: WEDNESDAY. JANUARY s. 1898
MIN the Count Mi,ed nrinks.

Why the Count Mixed Drinks.
A gentleman from abroad who happened
to be visiting in this country not a great
while ago, says the Albany Journal, had
letters OF introduction to many distinguish
ed people in prominent eastern city and
in Washington, which he presented in due
time and was accorded the true American
hospitality, with big II.
In one Of these cities q won't say which,
he presented his letter of Introduction to
the head of a family which had a local
reputation for its views on the temper
ance question and which was regarded as
being the most radical of the radicals on
this subject He was received with great
cordiality and shown every attention dur
ing his brief visit, due to his high rank.
AS there were several marriageable young
ladies in the household and as he was
tnctured with the blood royal it was
thought the proper caper to suspend the
rules for the time being in regard to the
use of wines and liquors at meals. and to
give the distinguished foreigner a lesson in
American hospitality. So he was politely
urged to remain to dinner and gracefully
accepted the invitation.
Just before dinner his host during a lull
in the conversation. called him aside and
said Count as you have doubtless been
told, our family is committed on the sub
JeCl Oh temperance ana we never nave
anything stronger than water or tea and
coffee on our table OF course you Euro
peans use wine at almost every meal, and
it is perfectly natural that you should ex-
pect it. l keep a little wine in the house
for medicinal purposes only, and if you
will accompany me to my private room
l win be happy to have you join me in
a small bottle of Clicquot." The count as
sented and assembled with his host to the
latter's private bar, where he found
couple of pint bottles of sparkling cham
payne on ice, all ready to be offered Up.
His host deXterously persuaded the corks
to leave their moorings and soon had the
foaming nectar gurgling down the count s
and his own aesophagus. They consumed
two bottles, and then went down to din
ner feeling greatly refreshed and edited
Dinner over, the count, accompanied by
a son of the host, took a stroll in the con-
| servatory and while discussing botany
with the bright young American. he was
reminded parenthetically. that ours is a
| temperance family, and we never use wine
OF whisky on our table,
Il am sometimes subject to severe
| cramps, count" said the young man, and
| on the advice of our family physician l
drink the very best whisky that can be
! had. If you don't mind, why I'll have you
so up to my room and we will have a lit
| tie of it together" The count "didn'
! mind" and went up and kissed the ba-
| by" as the old topers down south say,
| and then went down into the parlor to find
! that the young ladies had changed their
| toilets and were looking a S pretty as pic
lures. One of the young ladies, a perfect
American queen. with a complexion as
beautiful as a summer sunset took her
! place at the pianoforte and played IN the
most charming manner the Lullaby
from "Erminie," and the count went into
ecstacies thereat. Pa and the young son
~. -ir1cy
| business at the Office, and left the count
in all his glory with madam and the young
| ladies. Soon the music ceased and madam
| cautiously preached the subject of temper
ance, with a view to ascertaining on which
side of the fence the count lived. He rs
sured her in fairly good English that he
| was not averse to a little wine occasionally
and that he was accustomed, when in
| France, to having it with his meals, where
they drink it just as the Americans do wa
ter
WELL" said madam I'VE never use any
strong drinks on our table, count, as it sets
| a bad example before the servants. The
girls and myself on the advice of our fam
| lily physician, who is a very learned and
| capable man, are drinking, as a medicine
purely, the very best Holland gin, for our
complexons If you would like glass
of that, l am sure we would be only toe
happy to offer it 10 you" said madam in
| IeE DlduuGSt anu AOSl PEI oudSlNC illelliAlNi
The count thought he would not mind try
ing "a leetle of re Holland GIN" as nc
wanted to be agreeable, and accordingly
the glasses and bottles were brought in
from an adjoining room by one of the
young ladies and each of them Joined THEN
royal visitor in friendly social smile The
count took a good pull of this harmless
looking liquid, and in about twenty min
utes thereafter experienced great difficulty
on account of the thickness of his speech
in making himself understood. 1t went tc
his head and into his knees, and but for
the timely return of the host and his So
he would have collapsed entirely. They
got him out into the bracing air, where
he could pump ozone in his lungs anC
gather his scattered thoughts.
On returning to consciousness he dellv'
cred himself as follows:
'Zat eez we're strange Eat temperance
question:. Sacre! I cannot comprehendez
Won may not drunk at re table, but III
may get so drunk as lie diable in my lady'S
boudoir. Eat ees we're strange. l canno
comprehendez. impossible! Impossible
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