The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1898-03-30
EPISTLES TO ST. PAUL.

couple Of colored persons were discussing
the wreck of the Maine and things, and there
was some division of sentiment as to the pre-
ferable mode of mixing with explosions. One
commended that he had much rather be in
a railroad blow-up than in aboard ship,
and the other remarked that he couldn't see
it in that light. II one was blown up at sea
the coming down would at least be easy.
Huh" grunted the other 'Yous foolish
Eff yous blowed up in a ship whar ar yer?
But eff yous blowed up on de railroad
why, dere yer arr
1t was fifteen years ago. Wizards spectac-
ular opening of the Northern Pacific was as
tonshing the natives. The train bearing the
magnate and his European guests was whirl-
ing across the Rockies. On all sides was the
roughness. the rawness of pioneer life.
Willard sat at a table in the dining car,
with its Sumptuous menu. The contrast be-
tween the interior of the car and the exterior
country, the highest civilization of the one
whirlng through the uncouthness of the other
struck him. Turning to his companion. with
a sweep of the hand that included the table
and the scraggy landscape. Willard said:
This is what we call 'roughing it on the
frontier"
J. T. Conley will have to decide whether
Fred j. Schmauss. of Lake City, gets first
or second money in the contest for that 300
pound Lmburger cheese. Mr.. Schmauss took
time by the forelock when he read of Mr..
Conley's offer to supply any one who could
guess the nationality of the writer of a let
ter received by him the other day. which
letter duly given to the world, In this
column.
While there is much to be commended in
the knowledge of English cas- she is wrote"
displayed by Mr. Schmauss In his guess,
there Is still room for some doubt as to
whether he gets any Of that cheese-even a
smell-for he does not confine himself to
one guess. He makes three points, though
high, low and the "Sweed.''
In any event his perspicacity is not to be
winked at. He has made combination that
should include a winner and if the cheese
is already disposed of, why, Mr. Conley
should. in justice award second and appIe-
pirate prize to Mr.. Schmauss-a skillet of
kalter aufschnt or some such dainty. Here
is the text of Mr.. Schmauss' claim to the
prize:
March %. 1885,
To The The St Paul Globe
1 notice on the first column of the first
page Of today's G o b e that you offer a
prize of 900 pounds of Limburger cheese for
a correct guess OF the nationality of the
writer, who wrote that pathetic appea! to
J. T. Conley Of the Milwaukee road "for
d stray L trunk d L Satchel that my
sister"
l judge the writer to be a undefiIed gen.
uine Sweed.
Or if that don't locate correctly then he
must be a Simon pure Dutchman high or
low matters not if it wins the Limburger.
Submitted respectfully.
Fred ]. Schmauss.
Lake City, MINI.
The nationality feature of the Republican
chase for the nomination for mayor is de-
veloping some funny things. 1t is something
of a job for gentleman who gets his ideas
of what a spell-binder is talking about
by interpreting to himself through his Scan
dinavian ideas of English it is equally Diff
ficult for the German, whose knowledge of
English is limited, to grasp just what is
said. So the respective followers OF
Arosin Kiefer, Feldhauser and the rest of
them are carrying lingual handicaps that are
sometimes burdensome. Sam Lowenstein and
Dairy Commissioner Anderson were talking
the situation over the other day, and this
matter of broken English came up An
derson found fault with Kiefer's method of
expressing himself.
''Vout." said Sam, you carn't understood
heem." with a rising infection on heem."
Ne said Anderson. He was address,