The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1898-08-21

But striking feature Of the COM
| ments by our esteemed contempt
rary" is the manner in which it re-
| fers to the challenger, VIZ: "Sir
| Thomas, 1t seems, Is n promi-
nent figure in London" Then it
| goes on to say: "He is Scotch-Irish-
| man, and began his career with empty
pockets!' There does not seem to be
anything remarkable about this; there
are in fact, many individuals, Scotch
Irishmen and otherwise, who began
their career without amy pockets what
ever to say nothing of their emptiness.
| We might call UP dozen or SO, on
| the telephone, right here in st. Paul
| who had no better beginning than
this. There are a good many stories,
| in romance and history, of men and
| women of varied descent who were
declared to have been born with silver
| spoons in their mouths King Richard
| III. of England, it is recorded, picked
UP somewhere along the way before
| he was born a tooth which cut quite
a figure in history. Presumably it
was an eye tooth, and not
wisdom tooth, as his majesty man.
aged to get into good many
snarls which the exercise Of a proper
| degree Of wisdom, coming additionally
| from such "a tooth. might have been ex-
pected to prevent. Another Eng
lish character Of considerable
note was David Copperf1eld. Ac-
| cording to his own statement
he was born with a caul, and it was
disposed Of by his parents for quite a.
nice little sum, and he himself had the
satisfaction, in mature years. of in
specting it. But all this was anterior
to the advent Of the kodak.
According to the Pioneer Press, Sir
Thomas sis manufacturer Of various
kinds of prepared foods and has fought
monopol1es, ETC." Now, the idea Of a
manufacturer of prepared foods of any
kind being obliged to fight monopo-
lies, when, as every newspaper publ
! cation office which sends out solicitors
for advertisements knows. all deal
ers of this kind are monopolists
! themselves. Sir Thomas is likened unto
the BUN Emperor in 1.-THE London
ers." This is very obscure. Perhaps
1T is typographical error. and
Bum Emperor" Is intended. There
are known to be such in existence. This
little obscurity reminds one of Mark
Twain's earlier experiences when.
| through a fortune teller, or a clairvoy
ant, or gypsy queen, or something
Of that sort, he was asked. What is
your bette noir?" And, in recording
the answer, in writing, he, being in
doubt, wrote in Yankee fashion. "What
is my which," May we ask in this
correction who the bum or ''bum"
emperor is? Possibly Mr.. Kohlsaat of
Chicago, might give us some points on
! the Bun" Emperor-not the Bum
The Pioneer Press remarks also that
I'm the British isles one can no more
escape Upton than damp weather"
This is foggy, also, and suggests
renewal Of the query, "What is my
which," Then the announcement is
made that "he Is emphaticaIly an Eng
fish product" We already have the
statement that he is a Scotch-Irishman;
and we certainly never hitherto heard
of an English product beginning his
career with empty pockets.
Everybody who keeps abreast with
the times, and especially those we'll in
J formed on the subject of pink teas,
knows Sir Thomas is a merchant in
I this particular line Of product; fur
thermore, Sir Thomas, taken altogeth-
er," is said to be pretty good sort of
a fellow. This also reminds us of that
other genial English product" Mr..
E. A. Sothern, the actor, famous in his
personatton Of the part of Lord Dun
dreary, as we'll as that Of "The Crush
ed Tragedian." The associate incident
Will be recalled by those who had the
/ joy of witnessing him in the perform
ance Of the last named character and
heard that peculiar hollow voice when
| In reply to the lady who said, Taking
you altogether, you seem to be a pretty
good fellow, after ALL he exclaimed
Why madam, you wouldn't have me
taken In sections, would your
The fact Is, Sir Thomas has to be
taken altogether. rather than in sec
lions, to be thoroughly appreciated, and
not as in the case of certain presorip-
lions that are ordered by physicians
who have not the courage to kill man
Off by administering one dose at a
time, but carry out the performance
In small allotments. This is unques-
tfonably big advertising scheme on
the part Of Sir Thomas, for his pc
culiar quality of teas. That he will
win the cup no sensible or patriotic
American citizen anticipates for a mo-
ment. Sir Thomas. it seems" is an
optimist Of whom the brave sportsmen
of this country can have little fear. He
would better have spent his advertis-
ing fund In sign boards for distribu-
ton amid the attractive rural land
scapes suburban to the Twin Cities, to
say nothing Of availing himself Of the
advantages afforded by the columns of
The G o b e and those of our esteemed
contemporaries. We hope to hear from
him later. In the language Of the Pio-
neer Press. eff Sir Thomas Upton is
the man, by all means let him comet,
That Saratoga Conference.
The national conference in session
at Saratoga Springs on tbe fu+,ro fo,.