Chicago eagle. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1889-19??, 1898-08-06
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iie-1 am willing to admit that was
wrong. she-Ah! but you must admit
that was right!
II have been told that the best 10.
ciety is very stupid" "Oh, I can't be.
lieve It Is SO good rs hat."-Detroit
Journal.
Hostess--1 hope you found the bed
comfortable. Mr.. jenkins. jenkins
Excellent. ma'am. I nearly fell asleep
In it-Tid.Bits.
"Was he secretary or treasurer Of the
companyT well, they supposed he
was only secretary until after lie had
gone."--Chicago Journal.
The attorney--You say you could not
believe this person on oath? The wit
ness--No, sir; Oh never heard the lady
swear In the loife, sir.
First Burglar-Any luck lately? Sec
ond Burglar-No. Worked oil night
on a safe. and when got 1t bowed
open It was folding bed.
The Judge-what made you 20 Ger.
tain that you had the right Of way? The
driver-Sure. an my wagon was the
heaviest, yer honor.-Life.
Mrs. Straight--My daughter has been
very carefully brought up. Col. Blunt
But, Notwithstanding. madam. find
her very Interesting companion.
Hendry-So you take stock in that
yarnf Why. wouldn't believe that
story II I told II myself. Cowgage--
Well, In that case, neither would l.
Deacon welnxt-l kin read you,
thoughts, Miss Nancy. Miss Nancy
(coyly)-Then what makes you set 20
far away, deacon? New York World.
"There are two ways Of making O
Maltese cross. you KNOW" said he to q
Red Cross girl. II know only one" she
returned. "Well. the other IL to step on
his tail."-Judgc.
"Wben my wife gets cold can cure
It In day." "what do you give herr
"Nothing; I simply say that II she ID
well by night will take her to the the.
ater."-Tit.Bits.
doctor, who was that man that
screeched and howled so loud when
you were pulling his toothT' THAT
was q Christian Science friend Of
mine. "-Chicago Tribune.
"Ain't I little bow.leggedT' asked
the dubious young man. "BOw-legged,"
said his tailor. 1.-THE idea! Your lower
limbs. sir. are absolutely without q par.
allel."-Indianapolis Journal.
He-lsn't II a disagreeablc feature Of
golf, losing the ball so often? She
Oh, no; that's the only way George and
could get out Of hearing Of the cad.
die for nm instant.-Y0nkcrs Statesman.
"There's no coal. num-" said Bridget
"and the fires are going out" mo coal
Why didn't you tell me beforeT'
couldn't tell you there was no coal
mum, when there was COAL" answered
Bridget.
"How 10 your club for the inter.
change and development Of ideas get.
ting alongY'' "Well. 10 far, It has dc
veloped the idea In each member that
he IL the only man who has any IDEAS
indianapolis Journal.
Il
fell overheard In midocean the othel
day. and never was seen again" said
| Hicks. "DrownedY" asked Mrs. Hicks
"Oh, no. Of course not. Sprained hi'
ankle. probably"' said Hicks.-Harlen
Life.
"Every man has his vice." said Ten
spot to Tenterhook, who was fond Of
Offering uns0ught counsel to his &C
Quaintances. "What II my vice, pray r
asked Tenterho0k. "Advice." replied
Tcnspot, Observation-Disclosures Fret
Press.
II suppose that there are many prob
lems which polar explorers seek d
solve" said the unscientifc man. "Yes.
replied the intrepid traveller. "a grea
many" "What 10 the most importan
one" Getting observation-disclosures
Star.
The fiancee Of q New.Yorker at tn
close Of his nomination TO nm once, on
evening during the election campaigl
season, hearing Of the event, sent hin
O Smyrna date In it, native sugar, an
with It her card on which she had writ
ten: ~ love the candy date"
Delia-Professor Monograph IL visit
Ing you. understand. Doesn't he fin'
the sights and sounds Of the city odd
Amelia-,NOt ut oil. Some berry ped
dlers passed the house to-day cryinI
their wares, and the dear old man ash
ed me what college they belonged to-
Puck.
MY wife," said the tall lantern. jaw
cd man. "is as womanly woman q
you could ind, but she can hamme
nails like lightning" -WOnderful!
sang the chorus. Lightning" the tai
Authenticated man continued. ''seldOI
strikes twice In the same place. "-CiI
cinnati Enquirer.
what did you do with that lette
that was on my tabley' asked Gus ID
Smith Of the colored boy who clean
up his room. II tuck 1t to the pos
office. sab, and put 1t In do hole.
; "What did you do that for? Did 20
not see that there was no address O
the envelopei" II saw dar was u
writin' on de 'velope, but lowed "
did dat ar ON purpose, 30 couldn't te
who yer was a.wrttin' to. Use an ed
Gated negro, is."
A lank, awkward countryman pr
scented himself at the clerks desk in
city hotel, aud after having room q.
signed to him inquired at what hour