The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-07-31
BALLAD OF "TEDDY'S TsRRORs. /,
as Related BY Roundup Rube, of
Rattlesnake Gulch..

as Related By Roundup Rube, of
Rattlesnake Gulch..
! BY Stephen F. Whitman in New York
| Herald.
| There WIZ a lovely regiment whose men
Wuz strong and stout,
Fer some, they had diplomas and fer some
/ WIZ warrants ont.
And Wood. he was their colonel bold an
Teddy was his mate
And they called en- 'Teddy's Lambkins.
fer their gentleness was great.
Now good ole man named Shafter says
to Teddy and TO Wood
There's q joint called Santiago where
We amt well understood
So, ike yer lamb-nke regiment, and if
YOU are polite
I think yer gentle little ways II set the
matter right"
So when Teddy's boys got movin' and the
sun was on the fry.
And the atmosphere was ooaxin' them to
lay right down and die,
Some gents from Santiago who wuz mad
cause they wuz there.
Lay down behind some bushes to put bull
lets through their hair.
".
Now. Teddy's happy Sunday-school wuz
movin on its way
A seelIin in its peaceful style some Dagos
fer to slay;
And the gems from Santiago, with aver
sion IN their heart,
Wuz hidin II inc cross roads fer to blow
EN- all apart.
There's a Spanish comic paper that has
give us sundry digs
A-callin OF us towards an dishonest yam
And / guess these folks had read it, and
had thought 'twould be immense
Jest to paralize them lambkins they was
runnin up agalns
So when our boys had pretty near arrived
where they WUz a..
And the time it was propitious fer to start
that there combat
They let 'er fy a-thinkln they would
make a dreadful tear.
An then rubber-necked to see if any Yam
KEGS wuz stiil there.
VII.
Now you can well imagine wot q dread
ful start they had
To see EN- still a standin' there and look
in bold and bad
Fer when this gentle regiment had heard
the bullets fly.
They had a vl-,ent hankerin' TO make
them Spaniards die.
VIII.
So Teddy, he came runnin' with his
glasses or his nose.
Ana when the Spanish saw his teeth you !
may believe they froze;
And Wood was there long with i'm with I
his cheese knife in his hand,
While at their heels came yellln all that l
peaceful. gentle band.
TX.
They fought them bloody Spaniards at /
their own familiar game.
And the gents from Santiago didn't like Il [
quite the same
Fer you plug yer next door neighbor with /
An he ia''5 don't mt feel SO robustous as when
he's a-pluggin YOU
So when the shells wus hoppin'. while the
breech- blocks clicked and smoked
An the powder wouldn't blow away until
a Teller choked.
That regiment of Yankee pigs wus gun
min through the bush
An raisin merry he'll with that there
Santiago push.
Then Teddy seen EN- runnin' and he gave
a monstrous bawl.
And grabbe2 a red hot rifle where a guy
had let it fall.
He led his boys a-dancin' on. a-shoutin
the place.
XII.
So through the scrubby underbrush from
bay'n't plant TO tree,
Where the thorns would rip a feller's
pants. a shockin sight TO see.
He led his boys a-dancin' on a-shoutein
left and right.
And not missin many Spanish knobs that
showed 'emselves in sight.
XIII
And when them Santiago gents wuz
finished to their cost,
Then Teddy's boys, they took a look and
found that they WIZ lost,
Ard as their creWel enemies wuz freed
from earthly pain