Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1898-10-23
DOOLEY ON THE INDIANS.
His Views on the Recent Outbreak Among
the Chipnewas.

His Views on the Recent Outbreak Among
the Chipnewas
Chicago Jaurnal,
"Gin'ral Sherman was wan iv tn
smartest men We liver had" said Mr..
Dooley. HE said so NANNY bright
| things. Twas him said War is hell,
an that's wan Nv tn finest sayin's I
| know anything about. War Is hell
| It's thrue wurrud an O fine sinti-
ment.
AN Gin'ral Sherman says: TIL
on'y good Indyun is dead Indyun.'
An that's good sayin'. too So, be tn
| powers, we've started in agin to inn
prove tn race, an If we can get In
Gatlin' guns enough before tn winters
SHOWS, We'll TURN thin Chippeways
into a cimitry branch iv tn Young
Mems Christian Association. We will
so.
Eye see, Hinnissy. tn Indyun is
bound FIR to give way to tn onward
march Nv white civilization. You an
me, Hinnissy, is tn white civilization.
/ come along an l ind OF Spakes-in-
His-Gaiters Twin quite an dacint In q
new frame house. Thinks /: It's
shame f'r to lave this savage man in
possession Nv this fine abode. an him
not able f'r to vote an without frind
on tn polls foorce,' SO, says l.
Snakes l says, get along, says /. 7
want yer house an ye best move out
west iv TIL thracks an dig hole f'r
yerself, | says.
"'Divvle tn fut will l step out iv this
house. says Snakes. / built II. an
have TIL law on me side he says.
FIR why should / take Mary Ann, an
Terence, an Eonoria, an Robert I'm
mitt Snakes, an all me little Snakes
an rustic out west iv tn thracks.' he
says, far firm tn bines Nv me ances-
tors he says, AN beyond tn waiter
pipe extinsion,' he says.
Because says l, I am tn walkin'
dilygate iv white civilization l says.
I'm list Is civilized as you, says
Snakes. L wear pants he says, an
plug hat he says.
"'Ye might wear tin pairs. says I.
an all at wanst.' / says, an yed still
be a savage says l, an I'd be civilized
says, III | hadn't on so much as a
bang1 bracelet / says. so get out
says j, f'r tn PLAINLY movers is out
side r-ready TO 60 10 wurruk.' | says.
well, Snakes. he fires a shtove-lid
at me, an | 20 down TO tn polls sta
ton an says /: Loot / says, there's
a drunken Indyun not votin' up near
tn mills, an he's carryin' on outra-
geons, an he won't let me hang me
pitchers on his wall, says /.
"'Vile savage says tn Loot, I'll
tache him to rayspict tn rules iy civ
ilization, he says. An he takes wag-
onload an goes after Snakes. Wen, me
| frind Snakes gives him battle, an
KNOWN tn premises well, he is aple
to put up a great fight; but afther
awhile they rip him away an have MN
Ia the pathrol wagon with man settin
on his head. An thin he's put under
bonds to keep tn peace, an they slnd
/ him out west Nv tn tnracks. and |
move into tn house an tear out tn
front an sthart a faro bank. Some day,
whin get tired. or the Shwedes dhrive
me out or SchwaTtzmeister makes MS
lunch too sthrong FIR competition, Al
go after Snakes agin.
"Th' on'y hope fr the lndyun 10 10
put his house on rollers an keep
team hitched TO II, an whin he sees
white man to start fr tn setin sun
He's rooned whin he has ce3ar. ne
ought to put all tn plugged dollars ina.
I be gets from tn agent. an De plckih
/ blueberrieS into rowlin' STOCK. III ne
knew anything about balloons, he'd
have a ehanst, but we white men, hih-
Missy, has all tn balloons. But. amy,
[, how. he's doomed. As Hogan says, tn
onward march Nv tn white civilization
with mortgedges an other modhern
improvements Is slowly but suriy, az
Hogan says, chasin' him out, an "a
| iagt ~ hirn'il be Twin In diyin' bell
somewhere out n tn Pacific Ocean.
well" said Mr. Hennessy. the stout
| nhilantbronist. 'I think 80, an thin
ag'in. dinnaw. don't think We tnraet
thin might II was tn government,
I'd take what they got. but Ia say:
Here. take this tin dollar bill an 20
! ont an dhrink yoorsilf to death, "a
saw. They ought to have some show.
sWer." said Mr.. Dooley, III ye feel
that way. ye ought TO 90 an iniist a.