The copper country evening news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 18??-1907, 1898-06-21
CURED APPENDICITIS
HOW A wGsTgRN DOCTOR EARNED
FAME AND A FAT FEE.

had lately moved hero from the west.
why. left behind me reputation as an
appendicitis expert that would be worth
ewenty thousand year In New York"
what's your percentage of curesf"
asked the recently graduated M. d.
Just an even hundred per cent"
What are you giving mep There isn't
a surgeon In tho country who's never lost
case. Why, even"--
"Yos, but ] don't use the knife" said
tho other doctor, interrupting.
Medical treatment, eh? Well, don't
hold much with that 1t only alleviates;
doesn't cure. What's your method-oil?''
mo. just water.
"Hydropathic treatment for appendi-
c.tisl You must be crazy"
WHO said anything about hydropathic
treatmcntS You hospital youngsters al
ways want to build up four story name
Tor everything so as to charge more in the
Dill. l reckon. I'm telling you that I've
saved 100 per cent of my appendicitis cases
by the uso OF water, and now, If you'll
give me chance, I'll tell you how did
It, but wouldn't advise you to follow my
method. don't follow it myself"
Fire ahead" said the young doctor.
ITO begin with the truth, my 100 per
cent consisted in one patient. Appendicitis
hasn't got fashionable out our way yet
Few people know about it, and, in my
opinion, it's one of those diseases you
don't get until you get thinking about
them"
Tho young doctor looked wise. "Invol-
untary muscular action duo to cere''-
"That'll do, " interrupted the older man.
"Ill furnish all the necessary footnotes my
SELF This patient of mino was chap
named Dunby, big, robust fellow, a
great eater and too lazy to take exercise
Consequently his stomach was always
troubling him. Well, one day he got hold
of semimedical paper containing long
and grewsome article on appendicitis
That was the first intimation he had that
he was the proud possessor of a vermiform
appendix. AS soon as he discovered 1t it
began to bother him. He kept poking and
prodding at himself to see if he had any
pains there and naturally he made him
self sore. One day he came down to my
office white as sheet.
"'Ive got it, doc, he said; I've got It,
"'Got what?' asked
"'Appendicitis. can feel 1t swelling
up. 1t must be a lemon Seed though I've
been careful not to swallow anything of
that sort.
you've got q stomach ache, and that's
all, said.
Stomach achel Oh, If you could feel
It'll I'm q dead man.
"'You're a blooming fool, said, 'and
you'll be dead fool If you scare yourself
into it. Lie down here and let me look
you over.
1.-THE result of my examination was such
as to assure me that Dunby was suffering
from q bad fit Of indigestion and scare
combined. tried to get him to look at it
that way, but he wouldn't have it. That
Internal medical article was firmly fixed
In his appendix vermiformis, and, though
| was satisfied there was nothing else
there, he was likely to die of 1t. got him
home and returned to my office to smoke
pipe over the problem, promising to re-
urn that evening. When got back, there
was little blue mark on his abdomen.
Modification, moaned Dunby.
"1hs latter of fact 1t was simply
slight b. uise caused by his continual prod
ding at himself, but had formed my plan
and proceeded to act upon it.
"'You were right, Dunby, said. 1t
is appendicitis. That mark shows It..
"Oh, my God' he cried. Send for my
brother i want to see my nearest relative
before l die!'
"'You aren't going to de- said.
you re going to be cured this very night.
How's the psinf'
'Gone-numbness of approaching
DEATH he gurgled.
"'Keep your nerve up, i told him.
Then l went to a carpenter lad had him
set in sort of reversed stocks over Dun
by's bathtub, like the kind they used to
set malefactors in, only they were con-
triyed so that the man should be held up
side down, and they were padded TO pre-
vent his ankles from being hurt. When
they were finished, 1 made Dunby drink
water until his eyes bulged out
"'If you drink lot of water, ] ex-
planned to him, it will wash the foreign
matter out of the appendix as soon as that
organ is reversed. Swallow every drop
you can get down.
"When Dunby had drunk till he was
pulled like u pouter pigeon, my assistant
and took him and hung him up 10y the
feet over the bathtub. 1t was a very hard
Job, too, for he was heavy. Three times
we filled him up, and three times we hung
him up and made an inverted roaring cat
aract out of him. 1t was pretty tough
treatment, but the moral effect was grand
AS soon as he was able to talk he assured
me that he was washed out clear to the
tips of his toes. Certainly no man ever
got more thorough internal bath. Just
to make sure l turned on him fake X
ray and told him the appendix was clear
Now, said l, 'all you We got to do Is
TO be careful. Take plenty of exercise,
don't overcat and don't worry. Well
leave the carpenters work there In case
you have another attack.
IF you II believe it, the first thing Dun
by did as soon as he was well enough to
get around was to get an AK and knock
the stocks continuance to flinders. Such Is
the ungratefulness of man. But he sent
me a check that was almost ashamed to
take and talked about my wonderful skill
until was afraid of being held up to the
contempt of the profession as an adverts-
err My reputation was made. But don't
expect to adopt that treatment here, and
shouldn't recommend you to try 1t In
case of the real thing.
mo; I'm not likely to, said the hos
pital doctor "Of course / need hardly tell
a. ooe. xo,, otto io ono of hvcfar.