The National tribune., 1898-03-17

"How MUCfihD YoU GIVE For THIs?"
said Shorty, forgetting himself in the exulta-
ton OF his victory.
Jed Baski.is-the Rev. Jared Baskins's
son-a eucher player" gasped the Deacon"
Why, his iatlfer'd no more tech card than
be would a coal % fire. Not so much for
I've often heard hiin say that cod o. fire
Kin only bura the hands, while cards scorch
the soul .a,
Well, Jed, y continued Shorty, g bantered
me to play three games out o. five for this
here AK agin my galvanized brass watch.
We wuz boss and hdss Oil the first two games;
on the slw-off VIE had foar pints apiece. /
dealt and turned UP the seven o. spades
Jed ordered me up, and then tried to ring in
on me a right hover from another deck, but
| knowed he hadn't it, because I'd tried TO
ketch it iii the deal, bat missed it and slung
it under the table ! made jed play fair,
and eucherei him, with only two trumps in
my hand Jcd's a mighty slick hand with
the pasteboards, bat he meets his boss in
l1our Uncle Ephriim | didn't learn To play
euclier in the hay lofts o Bean Blossom
Crick for notiIin', | kin tell you. :" M
y An expression Of horror came into Deacon
kleggs face. and he looked at Shorty with
severe disappgoyal, which was entirely lost
on that worthy, who continued to prattle on:
jed Basains kin slip in more cold decks
on greenhorns than any boy ever see. You'd
think he'd spent his life on Mississippi
steamboat or iollerin circus. You remeni-
Der how he cleaned out them Maumee Musk
rats at chuck-a-luck last payday? Why,
there wuzn't money enough left in one com
pany to hay postage stamps for their letters
home. You know how he done it? Why,
that galoot of a citizen gambler that we
tossed in a blanket down there by Nashville,
and then rid out o camp on a rail, learned
him how 10 finger the dice. ! was sure some
o them Maumec smart Alccks'd git on to
Jed, bnt they didn't | declare they
wouldn't see six-mule team lift druv right
acrost the board aore 'em. But Pm onto
him every mint | told him when he tried
to ring in that jack on. me that he didn't
know enough about cards to play with our
Sunday. school class on Bean Blossom Crck"
Josiah Klegg," said the Deacon sternly,
do You play cards -
:" / learned to play jest a little" said 81
deprecatingly, and getting very red in the
face. II Jest know the names o. the cards,
and a fewo the rules o. the game"
g Pm surprised at YOU" said the Deacon,
after the careful way you wuz brung up.
Cards are tie devils own picture books.
They drag man down to hell jest as sure as
strong drink DO you own deck o. clrds?"
No. SIR" replied ST. 81 did have one,
but I throwed it away when we wuz goin'
into the battle o. Stone River"
''Thank heaven you did" said the Deacon
devoutly. "Think O. your goin' into battle
with them internal things on you. They'd
draw death to you jest like iron draws
lightnn'."
That's what l wuz afeared Of" 81 con-
fessed.
''Now, don't yon ever touch another card"
said the Deacon. Don't you ever own
another deck. Don't you insult the Lord by
dom things when you think you're safe that
you wouldn't DO when you're in danger and
want His protection"
.'Yes, sir, y responded ST very meekIy The
Deacon was so excited that he pulled out his
red bandana. mopped his face vigorously, and
walked out OF the door to get some fresh air.
As his back was turned, 81 reached silly up to
a shelf, pulled downa pack of cards, and flung
them behind the backlog
s. | didn't yarn to Pap when | told him /
didn't own deck, he said to Shorty. "Them
wuzzent really our cards. / don't exactly
know who they belonged to-"
The good Deacon was still beset with the
idea of astonishing the boys with luxurious
meal cooked by himself, without their aid,
counsel or assistance. His failure the first
time only made him the more determined
While he conceded that 81 and Shorty did I'M
usually well with the materials at their COM
mand, he had his full share of the conceit that
possesses every man born of woman that with
out any previous training or experience, he
can prepare food better than anybody else who
attempts to do it. 1t is usually conceded that
there are three things which every man alive
believes he can do better than the one who is
engaged at it. These are:
]. Telling story;
2. Poking a fire;
,. Managing woman
Cooking Il meal should be made the fourth
OF this category.
One day 81 and Shorty went with the rest
of Co. Q ON fatigue duty on the enormous
Notifications, the building of which took mp
so much of the Army of the Cumberland's
energies during its stay around Murfreesboro |