Blackfoot news. (Blackfoot, Idaho) 1891-1902, 1898-03-05

know that Cops head could never
have belonged to me; but personally
he was unacquainted with as. We
were both about the same size.
Hitherto had prided myself ON the
beauties OF my mind. while Copp had
been vain about the shape of his legs.
Copp had calves. | hadn't. BY the
way. Copp had not got large ones
either.
The cause of the error take 1t to
have been that our bodies were nn-
dressed before the operation was per-
formed When Ii was concluded and
we came to dress again. got Copp's
clothes and Copp got mine, and there
was little matter OF fifty gold pieces
in my pocket. which Copp appropri-
ated.
But that was q trifie TO my other
misfortunes; Cops body walked OF
with my head to the paper-weight and
pounce-box department; while ! was
left with Copp's brains on my Shout
ders. and military career before me.
for which I had neither the muscle
nor the inclination.
The day after / Joined the army,
some one whom Corps head had in
suited some time ago called on me and
kicked my body.
II you. my gentle reader. are as
muddle-headed as the rest Of the world.
you may find II difficult to follow the
course OF this true narrative. II is
generally supposed that the head con-
trolls the body. That Is mistake.
Cops head would have had it's own
way. n had not interfered. I was
not going to have my body put 10 more
Inconvenience than ! could help. AS
it was. his head got me into quite trou-
BILE enough.
My head. meanwhile. was doing all
II could TO help Cops carcass 10 get
on in the world. You have no idea
what exercrably bad handwriting
Cops body had: whereas mine had
always been perfect picture. so regu-
lar, 50 round. 50 neatly finished OF
with dotted Is and crossed rs. and all
the commas where they ought to be.
But. after all. II mattered little. Be-
fore Cops head got tackled on to my
body, my head and body combined had
laid the foundation Of fortune which
that miscreant's unworthy carcass was
destined to enjoy. No sooner had
Cops body usurped my ofice-chair
than deputation waited upon II from
the great grand duchess, and bestowed
upon Il a vacant seat in a higher de-
/ partment Of the civil service.
From that time forward honors were
literally heaped upon my head. and
copp's body got all the benefit of
/ them.
Cops body was Toasted and feted.
Il rolled In luxurious carriages, Il
lolled IN yoluptuous ease; while my
body was marching with the troops.
badly clothed. worse fed and half the
time without any boots; for thar ter
rfble struggle between our duchy and
the duehy next door. which IS now y
page Of history. was then commencing
What had my body got TO do vita
such matters, should like 10 know
Ny hand. which had hitherto bat
welded q pen, had now a musks1
thrust into Il, and everybody but my
self was much surprised 10 hnd Bbas
a bad shot I was.
My regiment marched onward.
hung behind. The general called SITTER
me. and came iimping up.
Cops head had always had rather
a bad name for drink and debaucl,ery.
but these failings had been excused be-
cause he was good soldier. You can
imagine what q rage Cops head was
In when ! missed the target, bungied
over my sword practice. and even
marched ont OF step.
II presently came to a pitched battle
between Cops head and my body. I
wholly disapproyed OF copp's heads
moral principles. One thing ! object
ed to was that ii would keep drinking.
Ny body was not accustomed 20 strong
liquor, and Il made It III.
Cops head also wanted to carry
on with the other sex. I wouldn't
stand It. Cops head winked al the
other sex. ! said II shouldn't It per-
sisted. ! said n II did It again, in
revenge | would shave Of It's mus
tachios. II did II again, and ! clutch
ed It BIZ the nose and shaved them on.
I'd have cut his head of altogether
for two pins.
To spite my body, copp's head re-
fused food. and clenehed It's teeth all
dinner-time. was determined then.
II It wouldn't swallow anything on my
account, It should not do 90 on It's own;
80 ] upset all the wine and beer IL
asked for. This style OF quarreling,
though. grew presently to be rather
ridiculous, and we made It up again.
But very soon Cops head began GO
Ing on worse than ever. His leerings
at the opposite sex have already al
luded 10. and this, with certain forward
persons Of the rex aforesaid, more than
once got me into good deal Of trou-
bic.
That, however, to which I most
strongly objected was hts strong
language. He took to calling his
brother officers thieves and liars, and
some Of them didn't like 1t.
j n