St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1898-07-09
Brother Gardner's
Campaign Club.
Copyright. lsss.


called and 30 members had answered
10 their names, Brother Gardner arose
and said that Judge Nicodemus Hold
fast, otherwise known as The Silver
rongued Orator" of West Virginia, was
on hand and ready to address the club
On the political issues of the day. AS
the judge was paying his own board.
and had brought along at least two
clean shirts and pair of blue suspend
ers, il was likely that his address was
worth listening to. The committee
were directed to escort him in, and
Samuel Sninn was frankly Informed
that if he allowed excitement 10 get the
better of him aud fell down in tit,
his body would be dropped from one
of the alley windows to take care Of
itself.
with q Preface.
When the judge reached the plat
form it was seen that his length had
been stopped at five feet, while his
breadth had continued on until his
shape resembied a gallon jug. He
stood mostly on his right leg. with
his head held ready as If to dodge a
brick-bat, and his open coantenance
made him friends at once. In a voice
as soft as the bleat of a:new-born q
lamb he told his audience that he had
been a politician from the time he was
four years old. He knew the wiles of
a campaign as we'll as he knew the pat b
leading up from his own gate. He had
been tarred and feathered when a can
didate for alderman, passed three
months in Jail with a memper of the
legislature, and had been indicted for
conspiracy, arson and murder with a
candidate for governor. Withal,
however, he was an honest man, and
what he should say to them would
come from his heart. and could be de-
pended on as the words OF man
anxious only for the welfare of his race.
The General situation.
"My frens, wha; am de general sit
uashun OF affairs to-day?" began the
orator with a suddenness which set
half the members to coughing. "De
cashual observer sees muffin but de
tariff an de money question. Eben
de president of dis club. whom l was
;aIkin' wild an hour ago. can't see de
'possum hangin' to de limb above his
head. De dimocrats tell yo' dey am
gwiue to do thus an so; de republi-
cans am gwine to do thus an SO; de
third party am gwine to do thus an
so. an yo' go along wild yo'r heads up
in de air an nebber see de woodchuck
hole in de ground al yo'r feet. Dar'
am hurrycaine cumin' from de west
"a cyclone racin' up from de souf-a
volcano jist ready to bust up hull
stait under yo'r feet; an vi, yo' am
deaf an blind, an chawin' yo'r cuds
as conteutedly as fo'ty ole cows in de
shade of de fence-co'ners!" (Starts of
surprise and few cheers for cows.)
A Black-Hearted Conspiracy.
do you know what de white folks
in dis kentry am plottin' to do?" de-
manded the speaker as he advanced to
the edge cf the platform and flung up
his arms. NO. yo' don't, but l will
tell yo'. OATS what lie yere fur. OATS
why lie trabbled 500 miles to talk to
you All dis talk bout tariff an silver
am but blind to conceal de real oh
jick. Dey am de bait to de b'ar-trap.
Cheers for bars and b'ar-traps.) Mo-
dan six months ago de patty leaders
held a midnight meetin' in AN old saw
mill on de banks oh de Ohio river, an it
was dere an den Planned an agreed to
swipe dis kentry cl'ar of black folks!
(Great confusion all over the hall with
cheers for ''swipes" and demands for
further informaiion.) II got on to de
black-hearted cospiracy by de aid of dis
yere rabit's fut am dream book. an to-
night fur de fust time it stands ex-
posed to de view of dis hull nashun.
CHEERS for the rabbits foot, which the
speaker waved in the air.) DE ideah
am to begin at de Gulf of Mexico an
fo'ce every black man to leave de
United States. No one am to be left.
Sum am to be sent to Siberia-sum to
de wilis of Africa-others to islands
in de ocean. Each man am to be tied
hand an fut with a clothes-iine, gagged
wild a con cob, an frowed aboard of
ship; an If he dies it will be all de
better fur de conspiritors." Immense
excitement. during which most of the
stovepipe fell down. and Samuel Shin
would have had his fit il Giverdam
Jones had not hustled him around.)
some Further Details.
"When all de black men hev bin sent
out o de kentry. what den z" continued
the judge us he pocketed the rabbits
foot and loosenrd his shirt collar.
"Ebery black woman an chile am to
be held as a slave. DE wife of Brudder
who wears silk dresses an
high heeled shoes and ketries . so
cent fan, will no mo- escape dan de
woman who goes bar futted an fans
herself with shingle. De white woman
will arm himself wild 4 bed-slat or
baseball bat an walk up .an' say to
de Guild woman: Now. den, yo' cum
long an work in my kitchen fur nuth-
in, an If yo' hoot one hoot I'll break
yo'r black head:' (Shouts, of indigna-
tion. mingled with cheers for Mrs.
Gardner and bed slats.) Ebery black
chile will be taken by de bar an trot-
ted along an cuffed an kicked, an il
de leetle black babies howl fur milk
dey will be made to drink keroseDe lie.
More indignation.) In foiwccks from
de time de movement begins our race
will be agin enslaved, AM dis time it
will be foreber AID foreber. Dey won't
he no gettin' away doorin' life, an as
fast MS we die our bodies will be frowed
into de swamps like so many ole
butes. In de co'se of 20 Vars a nashun
of 100000 folks will be swiped OF de
face of de airth, an our dawgs an
nevis an odder property will pass over
to de white folks. (Cries iof "Never!"
'Never!" and shouts Of "Fire!" and "Po-
'ice!~)
There In = Re0tdy.
Am dar remedy ?" asked the Judge,
as he stood painting for. breath, the
sweat running down his face. ''Thank
Heaven dar am What is.if? Whv 81