davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1898-08-26
SHE MADE 1T DEFINITE.
Wntson's Note Was Busiuess-Liiec,
hut 1t Didn't Suit,

Wnt"on's Note Was Busiucss-Liicc,
hut 1t Didn't Suit,
Watson was sitting at his desk one
evening when his wife said:
My dear will you send note to
3ylll &c Satin and tell them that | must
have the five yards of lining that 1
bought there yesterday. They said
they send ii right away, and must
have it tomorrow. for the dressmaker
will be here the next day"
So Watson wrote as follows:
''Messrs. Sylk d Satin: VIII you
please send at once the five yards of
lining my wife purchased at your store
yesterday"
Let mo see what you have written 2"
said Mrs. Watson.
"Oh, dearl" she said, after reading
it, that isn't half positive and definite
enough. They'll pay no attention to
that. I'll sit down and write to them
myself"
And this was what she wrote:
"Mcssrs Sylk & Satin: You will re-
member that was in your store at
about 10 o'clock yesterday morning Tor
it may have been rs late as 10:3O), and
! purchased five yards of percaline for
dress-lining. One OF the salcsladies at
the lining counter will remember about
II. The one | bought it of was tall
AMI slender, with dark eyes, and l
remember that she had on red silk
waist trimmed with black velvet and
red and green plaid skirt. She will
lor hpt I
Of her and she promised me that it
would be sent sure to-day. 1t has not
come and II would not make any par
iicular difference, only that my dress
maker is coming day after tomorrow
and she Will need the lining the first
thing, and cannot go to work without
ii, and her engagements are such that
she cannot come to me any day but
day after tomorrow and the next day.
SO If the lining should not come Ii
would put her back so that she could
not finish the dress, and cannot get
her again for nearly month, and [
simply must have the dress by the last
OF next week, and | am too busy TO
come downtown tomorrow and get
with the rcd silk waist waist will be
sure TO remember about 1t, and told
her just why and when wanted it and
she promised me that it would be sure
to comr. OF course it may come be-
fore you get this, and if so it will be
all right, but | simply must have 1t be-
fore the drcssmaker gets here. for sho
/ Will want to so to work on the skirt
the first thing and she cannot if she
does not have the lining. Please send
it right away.
"P. S.-Fivc yards of percaline skirt
lining at SS cents n yard, bought of
saleslady in red silk waist and plaid
skirt, to be sent sure yesterday. and
has not come. Must have it to-mor-
row"
There said Mrs. Watson. as she
folded the letter. THAT will make 1t
all clear to them"
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1898-08-26
A VALUABLE EXPERIENCE.
Spanish Bullets Had No Terrors Fo,
the Trolley Dodger.


The American had been arrested ir
CUBA as spy, and had been condemn.
cd to be shot At the hour fixed fol
the execution he was taken to the
( Campo Weylero and nine soldiers lev.
elled their muskets at him. He refus.
Ell the offer of a handkerchief with
which to cover his eyes, and glanced
calmly, even smilingly, at the glitter.
ing, death-dealing weapons.
"Fire!" shouted the Spanish ser.
seant The nine explosions were n.
one, and as the smoke cleared away
the sergeant stepped forward, expect.
ing to see the prisoner riddled with
bullets. But the American still stood
there, calm and smiling, and apparent.
ly unframed
Your muskets were not loaded!'
cried the sergeant with a great oath
turning to his men. Il will have every
one OF you shot as traitors at sunrise
tomorrow. | wilr-
NO. no; don't blame those fellows
interrupted the American. "Thoy did
their duty all right. Nine bullets came
out of those guns. simply lodged
them"
"Dodged them" shouted the ser.
geant, angrily. do you dare to play
with me?"
mo" answered the American, coolly
L am telling you the fact Dodging
those bullets was dead easy. Why
man, lived in Brooklyn, New York
for couple of months before coming
here. and twice day | lodged the
trolley ears at Death Loop Your bull
lets aren't in it with the Death Loop
uiprg ~
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1898-08-26
"on Guard" the wotc,,,voro

Everything is about ready, amt 1t,
Sister Duncan?" asked the preacher
who was going to perform the mar
riage ceremony in Cabbage Creek VAL
ley.
NO, Sam amt come to guard the
back winder yit. Toms at the front
door an Ellis at the gate, an as soon
as Sam gifts to tho back winder every
thing Will be ready. You see, John
Henry is sorter timid like, an when it
comes to the pinch of the game his
courage mout fail him an he mout try
to make dash for the woods. Polly
knows this an she amt takin' no
chances. She's got the boys posted
whar they can stop John Henry If
anything should happen"
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1898-08-26
SnninIc .rcatimnninta

We append a few testimonials which
may be Of benefit to proprietors of pat
ent medicines:
i have been unable to walk without
crutches for many years, but after us
ing your linimeat I ran for Office"
1 lost my eycsight four years ago.
used bottle of your eye wash and I
saw wood"
Il have been dumb ever since I was
married but the day after using your
remedy had speaking likeness ia
ken at the photographers"
Some time ago lost The use of
ooth arms. Shortly after buying a box
OF your pills | struck man for ten
dollars"
Il have been deaf for many years
but after using your ointment | heard
that my aunt had died and left me
$4,000" ~
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1898-08-26

t. indigestion is often taken for consumd.
on. The word consumption mems
wasting away, and diSpeptics often waste
away as badly as consumptiveS.
The reason people waste away is be
cause either they don't get enough to cal.
or they don, digest what they do eat
Ii the latter is your trouble take Shaker
Digestive Cordial. This will help YOU
to digest your food and stop your loss Of
flesh. Shaker Digestive Cordial is made
from herbs barks anpthc juices OF fiuts,
by the ellknown Shakers at Mount
Lebanon. 1t possesses great tonic and
digestive powers
Shaker Digestive Cordial has cured
many supposed cOnsumptives (whO were
really diSpeptics), by simply hclding
her stomachs tn digest their food, thus
living them nourishmcnt and new
Strength. Sold by druggists Trial bot
ct 10 cents.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1898-08-26

well-known London theatrical
manager tells good story at the ex-
pensc OF local theater whose Stand
ing Room Only sign is no longer need
cd
One night, after the curtain was rung
up. small boy was discovered Sob
bling in front of the box office. The
manager of the theater went to the lad
and kindly asked him what the trouble
was.
Il want my money back!" sobbed
the boy.
In surprise the manager asked his
reason for such request.
"Bccause-because I'm afraid to sit
up in the gallery all alone!" he walled.
His money was returned.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1898-08-26
Popular Literary Girl.

For literary girl Miss Plum seems
very popular"
Yes It's her method. She invites
4 young man to the house to read over
her latest sonnet. When she comes to
word like miss for instance, she
asks him if he can improve the rhyme.
If he has any brightness at all he will
suggest kiss, and ut the same time
illustrate it. II the word is tease he
will suggest squeeze and illustrate
that. Oh. it's no wonder she's a pop
ular poetess,"
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1898-08-26
BASHFUL.
Rural Legislator Gets In Remarks,
Even IL UncnIIed For.


Even III UncnIIed For.
II can't help saying to YOU" remark
"a one of the old members OF a more
or less august legislative body to a
rural recruit, that some of the re-
marks you made yesterday were un,
called for, entirely uncalled for"
The other looked intently at his COL
league and. removing his hat, mopped
his brow with a red handkerchief.
"Looky here, friend" he proceeded
after thinking for quarter of a min
ute, do you realize that 1 am on the
minority side of this here house?"
Yes
And that the place is chocl full of
people who are full up to the necks
with speeches they want to git de-
livered?"
There are many such"
IT'S occurred to you, mebbe, that
there is dimit to the time that n man
has in this life fur ioin' things"
THAT hasn't anything to do with
your remarks yesterday"
Eyes, it has. You find fault with 'em
because they was uncalled fur. But |
want TO tell you somethin, Ef l had
started out in politics as shrinkin',
modest violet wouldn't even have got
nomination. An with all them peo-
pie, with both hands in the air, try
in to git word in edgewise, can't
afford to take no chances. know
them remarks was uncalled fur. but 1
leave 1t to you MS Il fair minded man,
If | held onto remarks till some OF
you fellers got W and clamored for
'em, what would my constituents think
had become of ma"
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1898-08-26
Elections.

Strange az it may seen the Lord
must have something to do with
elections, and this makes it so cx.
ceedingly difficult to forecast the
results in any given campaign.
In very many cases these results
come in the nature Of surprise.
1t has been so in the NinthDjstrict
often, and over, and may he so
again aud again. 1t is not the case
always that the favorite horse
WINS IN race, for long winded
scrub may come in on the home
: stretch aud ruin the bookmakers.
These philosophical remarks we
level at.n9 particular class, but to
tsimply yarn all our friends ex.
( cept Dsiaocrats, not to bet on the
pending race for Congress.
lt.looks we know that if an clcc.
ton could be bought in '96 if
should be bought in '9S, but there
are suchsthings as oir-years. and
"siumps,M aud "splits" and ere.
yolts,"so thata fellow cant always.
generally sometimes tell what is
going to happen. Aside. from all
this,pcople grow tired of, meu Who
never grow tiredapf soliciting their
suffrage. Theybecome stale.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1898-08-26
Millions Given Away.

It Is certainly gratifying to the
public to know of one concern in
the land who arc not afraid 10 de
generous TO tee NEEDY aud suiln. ing.
The pioptietors of DR.. Kings Sew
discovery Tor Consumption. Coughs
aud Colds, have given away over
ten nilll'on trial aott!es IF this greet
'nedlelne ;and have the satisfaction
81 knowing ii has absolutely cured
thousands of hopeless cases
Athma, Bronchitis, Huarsenoss
and all diseases of the Throat, Chest
and Lungs are surly cured by if.
Cal! Oil Jno. Il. Jackson Dwepi>
and get Il trial bottle fee Regular
size 50c. and 81. Ever b.t;l.
guaranteed, or price refunded
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1898-08-26

Has another American paper pub
lshed caricaturc of our royal per-
SON" inquired the Kaiser,
Yes, Your Majesty" replied the dig
nified lackey.
'Tis we'll" replied His Majesty
1--WE will exclude the American boi,cd
bean"
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1898-08-26

This" said the Kansas editor, look.
Ing over the top of his spectacles. sis
the most inviting manuscript have
received for long time"
What is it?" asked the foreman.
a poem, beginning. Come. drink
with mel"
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1898-08-26

During the last session Of Con
grcsS Il bright little boy,thc son nj
Il Nirinia member. rushed into his
fathers presence and cX 'lai med,
"Papa there is an old gray headed
manin yondcr abusing Virgin a' t
was Gen. Walker making II Srr"cil
in one of the contested election
asses.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1898-08-26

We learn with dismay that d
large number of "cXtraSr of the
Tazcwcll Republican have been or.
dcrcd for the pcuding canvass.
That blasts our last hope Wc
give it up.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1898-08-26
Virginia Military Institute,
LEXINGTON VIRC INA

The Board of Visitors at their annua
meciingon the 90 til day of next June will
appoint STATE CADETS to fill vacancies
N the 3: Z, q, 10, 10, 20. %. %, ~ and "a th
Sehat0rinl Districts, and two vacancies at
iArge, These appointments carry free
BOARD and tuition. Applications shonld
oe auarcssed to the undersigned on or he
, ,'li,i 1llle 10 IN proXimc, on forms tina
VIII be sent upon request.
SCOTT SllIPP SUPT'
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1898-08-26
Thc Ola, Old Story.

"You are the only woman I ever
loved" said Adam.
And you," murmured Eve, ARE the
first man that ever kissed me-"
Then Satan smiled and said unto
himself; THAT is equal to burnt-cork
repartee, and posterity shall perpetu-
ate it," And it was even so.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1898-08-26
Lost Opportunities.

Hungry Higgins-WeM. we'll. Horo
is story bout Teller sittin' $500 fer
a dog bite.
weary Watkins-You don't say? Jist
think Of the forching we otto have AZ
that rate
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1898-08-26

Walker had to he introduced ut
Pocahontas by u Democrat. How
is that! Where were all the Lead
ing Republicans of '9G! Are ihcr,
no more poSt.oiliccs 10 he prom
iScd!
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1898-08-26
BETTER Than Nothing.

Lord Notacent-I cannot tell you
now much 1 love you.
Ethel Giltedge-Oh, make a rough
guess at it then. How much do you
think I'm worth.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1898-08-26
RiynI CcmcterIca

In Nowhereville. in Limbo Place,
Mid lurid rocking murk,
Two aged jokes met face to face,
Who died from overwork.
Where rest thy bones, since thou hast
ded?"
Each asked him of his brother.
In the Almanac" the one replied.
Farce comedy" the other.
Indianapolis Journal.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1898-08-26

From the way our friend Gen.
walker mixes his metaphors, an'l
ianglrN NJ his names and dates II
really looks us if the old warhurSp
should bC 'taknn oil the track and
p. on the farm"
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1898-08-26

Ten to one that Walker don't
tell that "CoulcdrrAta General" III
cdent when tr ',,rets Rhca at
Lebanon.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1898-08-26

1t appears from the "argumrn''
thai the people listened To lass
week that because Cleveland wa
once n Democrat. Gen. aIkcr
should b. elected TO Congress.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1898-08-26
FRIDAY AUGUST %, 1898.
Russell County Republicans.

AS the time again draws near TO
stand mp and be counted the Re
publicans Of Russell County nat
urally cast about to locate their
proper sphere in the political cam.
paign. Scarce year ago, if Or
memory serves us right,a convcn
ton was held at Cedar Bluff: a
Russell Republican declared the
leader Of the party, md a Rcpub.
lican majority of 600 was promised
by Tazewcll Solons in Republican
politics and other signs and
tokens interchangcd which we
need not mention here. The prom
ised majority in this County finally
turned up Democratic victory
Russell was not only dead but
buried, and over her corpse Tazc.
well Republicans wranglcd, con
nived, schemcd and bartcrcd away
the Federal patronage, in he
eyes and under the nose of the
Russcllites themselves. They dis.
tributed the post Offices in poor old
Russell, opposed Deputy MarslalS.
gaugers &c. because not of Russell
County, and otherwise, in ways
remem hcred by our friends across
the line meddlcd in and controlled
the affairs OF orr sister County.
All enquiry by Russell Radicals
developed the fact that no one
but Tazcwcll republican is in it.
The Republican party in T'-'r..
well breeds bigotry, and dom ge AL
politics where strong enough IT, mas
so. 1t boycots every Rcpul VS. '"E
who, on Bonded knees docr
swear it has the secret of th{ . com
road to heaven. Its greed is oolos.
sal, and its appetite seems only
satisfied with all. When not run
ming it self or its candidate no one
else need apply. 1t has again
spread its candidate before the
eyes Of the people has pushed
forward its alter cgo-its strong
man from out of Wythc, who is a
large man at home, and somewhat
OIL the Giant build, but in Was II
lngton the side walks neither
shake when lie walks, nor other
movements Of the earth or heavens
perccptiblc at his stride. He is
simply unit in a majority. His
advice is not sought; his voice
heard only when inc Is placed up.
on an Election Committee where
he may dcnounce the people of his
state his relatives and his friends.
Tazewall Republicans now come
forward, and admonish the Russell
Republicans to grid up their loins
and make q square fight for their
tale and pie bearer.
Well, VIC have never lived
among the Republicans of Russell.
but we will wager an oil can TO the
Generals Chances" that no such.
humbuggery can be a@asn pcsscled
down the throat Of any Russell
Republican.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1898-08-26

Gen. Walker seems TO he in the
importing business in distributing
Offices. He imported PM. lrcm
Baptist Valley for nichlands: one
from Ahhs Valley ior PocahontaS;
one from Tazcwell County for
Grndy; and Dcpnty Marshal
from Tazcwcll County for Bnchan
an County, He must expect by
tins 10 import his votes in Nov.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1898-08-26

Planters c u BAN OIL. ule.
AVe~'~ Cuts Burns, BRUISES. Rlco
matism and Sores. Price. o5 cents.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1898-08-26

Nolan-Begorry, tn wars commenced
an we're ordered Cooncy Island!
Casey-Cooney Island Fwlat for?
"Shure, dtho Colonel says it's t shoot
The chutesr'
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1898-08-26
~ GOOD PLACE TO STOP, 3"
when in Bluefeld, is the
"PATTON HOUSE"

near the Depot
Try it and you will be pleased
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1898-08-26

Gen. Walker traced all he evils
OF the Country back to Gle. Glands
Administration, and said that the
Nation Wolll have been wrecked
but for the beneficial legislation
perfected previously by the Re
pnbiicanS. The worst thing Clcvc.
land ever did was to turn his back
on his party,2nd Walker is he last
,.l,o .1 ~ OF.
VINO ough, ilrae him.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1898-08-26

Walkers method of sdcailing re-
minds us of the cannon and the
mule. The little cannon WAS tied
on the mule and the mule backed
up III range of the enemy, when
the halter broke and the mule
began turning around in all dircc
tons. When the officers in charge
few minutes later rushed into
headquarters, he explained that
there was no telling in "what di.
rectlon that gun was going to
shoot"
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1898-08-26

Gen. Walker offered TO meet
Judge Rhea in joint debate at
Tazcwell, but the Judge had an
appointment clsewheac and did
not make his appearance
in Taz"well.-Tazewell Republican.
The above is not in accord will,
the facts as we understand Them.
Will the discoverer of the above
please furnish the proof!
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1898-08-26

j. .. ALEXANDER
Has the ONLY Complete As
sortment of
Fine Handkerchief Triple
Extracts and Toilet Prepa-
rations =
to be found in the county.
These are strictly reliable
high grade goods Perfumes,
Toilet Waters, Colognes, Sachet
Powders, Powders for Complexion,
Toilet, Nursery and Teeth. Liquid
Washes for the Teeth and Tones
tor the Hair, Curling Fluids sc.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1898-08-26

Young Letters Splurgc III wheat
has done lots of good Ia the Kan.
SaS farmers and his collapse great
rs II was, wasn't patching to
the tumble that wheat took, after
his money gave ont You can get
two bushels of wheat now for one
Of "SlIvcr Jim'H' fifty cent dollars.
1t was astonishing to see the thar
nony" that existed brtwcrn the
Republican candidate for Congress
and old Pleas Young at Graham
the other day. If Pleas had been
"coachcd" for week he couldn't
c 'rfisin 4 ale his responses better
been in fl, doubtless expecting some
mo orders nuts 10 ia carly in Nov
The evening times., 1898-08-24
OF 4 WRECK
Trunks, Chairs and Cabin Fit
tings Floating on the Sea.
SEEN BY STEAMER ALGOA
Two Ships May Have Gone to the
Bottom Ten Miles on Fire Island.
Captain HaEsford Did Not Stop to
Identify the Wreckage, Thinking
1t Must Be known.

New York, Aug. 2i.-Much evidences
of a great ocean disaster in which one
vessel and perhaps two may have gone
to the bottom were seen ten miles off
Fire Island yesterday by the crew Of
the incoming British steamship Algoa,
from Hamburg and Shields.
The Algoa passed through a vast
quantity Of 'wreckage. in which were
steamer chairs. trunks. boxes and bed
ding. Capt. Hansford expressed the
opinion that there had been collision
near where he saw the wreckage and
that at least one of the vessels in II
had gone down." Capt. Hansford thinks
the vessel was a steamship carrying
passengers, and that ther must have
been loss of life,
A slight cIew- to the identity Of the ves-
sci may be found in a lot of cattle fit
tings which were passed a little more
than a mile from the point where the
cabin fittings and trunks were seen The
trunks and furniture were scattered over
more than five miles.
Not a wopd OF any collision had been
received here until the arrival of the
Aigoa at Quarantine. No wreckage was
washed ashore on Fire Island or along
the coast. and none of the nfe-saving
crews on the Long Island shore has the
least inkling of any such disaster.
No bodies were seen by Capt. Hansford
or his officers Capt. Hansford is posi-
tive that the wreckage had not been in
the water more than twenty-four hours,
and from this he argues that the collision
occurred some time on last Sunday or
Monday. The captain did not pick up any
of the wreckage or attempt to identify
1t. He supposed that the disaster was
already known in New York.
More than a dozen vessels went out Of
this port last Saturday. and among them
were two carrying cattle. but II is not be-
lieved that the wreckage could have come
from either of them. No passenger liners
or freight steamships are overdue here.
The steamship Russian Prince. which
left Antwerp on August for Philadel-
phia, had not arrived there yesterday.
but her course would carry her far south
of the point where this wreckage was
seen.
None of the steamship agents manifest
ed much anxiety over the report of Capt.
Hansford.