The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1898-08-03
HUMoR OF THE DAY.

She-"When you married me you
said you were well off," He-"I was,
but didn't know it."-Tit-
"Were you a guest at the hotel while
you were away, Blodgett?" "Guest?
Not much. 1 paid cash. Chicago
Record.
"Say, what would you do if you had
a skeleton in your closet?" 'The best
thing to do is to make no bones of it. "
Indianapolis Journal.
Aworkman was repairing a steeple
directly above the big clock and strange
to say he charged his employers up
with working over time.
Chemist Ito battered female, who is
covered with scratches) 1.-THE cat, 1
suppose?" Battered Female-"No.
Another lydy."-Punch.
whats the matter, Little Dick?"
"Say, Mr.. Highly, why don't you bring
my sister more candy an not so many
roses?"- ?"-Chicago Record.
McDouRal-"Hoot, mon! yell soon
be better" McMinus-"It's not the
seeckness I'm minding; it's the awful
waste. / paid atteenpance for that
deenner. ."-Pick-Me-Up.
Boyjoe-"Why are you consulting
the dictionary I thought you knew
how to SPELL" Chinn--'T do, 1 am
not looking for information, but for
corroboration. "-Tit-Bits.
Carrie-"Did John come up very
close to You when he proposed2"
May-"Well, hope you don't think
he went across the street and shouted
his love over to me. standard.
Mistress servants seem to
know all about the mortgage ON the
house." Master-"Yes; they'd nat
urally look up the title before they
took possession. Detroit Journal.
Keedick-"Young Browne added
the e. to his name after he inherited
his uncle's big fortune" Fosdick-
"That's quite right. Rich people are
entitled to more ease than poor peo-
ple."
"My dog is almost as intelligent as
1 am, remarked Squildig. care you
going to have him shot, or will you
try to give him away?" asked Nc
SwillIgen. Pittsburg Chronicle Tel
graph.
81 understand from careful peru
sal of history" said a young fellow
with an arid upper lip, "that in 1861
the young fellows went to war, and l
think it's the old mems turn to go this
time. ."-Denver Times.
On the brink of creek in Ireland
there is-or used to be-a little stone
containing a carving of this inscrip-
ton, intended to help travellers:
"When this stone is out of sight, it is
not safe to ford the river. "-Tit-Bits.
every morning on the way to
school," said the little miss, "the
boys catch me and kiss me-" "Why
don't you run from them?" asked her
father. Because" replied the small
edition of Eve, "maybe they wouldn't
chase me. -CnlchBO IOsl.
ESQ You are going to marry Dump
er, Grace?" laughed her best chum.
"Pardon my levity, bit he's so short
and you so tall and stately" you're
wrong, as You often are. A man can't
be called short when he's worth over
million. Detroit Free Press.
$50 you think it absolutely neces-
sary to have bicycle shoes on when
you ride your wheel, do you?" asked
the Cheerful idiot. "Of course, said
the youngest boarder "Then, would
your wear horseshoes when you rode
a horse?'-Indianapolis Journal.
Her Father-"I am afraid, sir, that
my daughter can never be happy with
man who can be engaged to her n
month without giving her ring"
The Aspirant "Sir, am afraid can
never be happy with a girl whose en-
gagement to me will not induce jewell
ers to trust me. "-Jewelers' Weekly.