davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Daily camera., 1898-10-18
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

He-I anticipate every wish of
yours She-"Well, wish you
wouldn't. Now anticipate that
Town Topics.
"Yol had better not go bathing with
Ada said Tommy to his sisters fance.
"Why not, Tommy?' "'Cause l heard
her say she intended to throw you
overheard soon. ."-Tit-Bits.
Boarder-"Really, madam, / cannot
wipe myself dry with such small
towel" Landlady-"Very well, I'll tell
the chambermaid to bring you less
er.'-Fliegende Blaetter.
would you want to marry man
before he went to the war or wait until
he returned?" asked the blond. BE
fore, of course" said the brunette.
How else could you get the pension?"
Town Topics.
Mere Upstairs.-Little Edna-"I
guess the Rockachaps haven't been
rich very long Little Winnie
"Why?' Little Edna-''They call the
meal they eat at six O'clock supper
New Orleans Times-Democrat.
First Little Girl-"Hm! We've got
water in every room in our house"
Second Ditto-"What an awful house
to live in! We've got water only in the
cellar in our house, and know that's
bad enough" Boston Transcript.
Printers Fault.-Watts-"H do
you understand that expression of
Shakespeare's go toe" Potts-'Tt is
my idea that it arose fro mthe printers
not knowing the use of the dash when
his works were first published" In
dianapolis Journal.
take it away!" shouted the king of
Bkploo. "What on earth is the mat
ter with the meat? Are you trying to
poison me?" ut must have BEEN" the
chief humbly explained, "tha the gen.
tleman cooked this afternoon was a
bitter sectarian." n."-Cincinnati En-
quirer.
Father" said cobbler's lad, as he
was pegging away at an old shoe, with
longing glance at the stream tina.
wimpled past the cabin door, they say
that trout bite good now "Wel1,
WE'LL" replied the old gentleman, you
stick to your work, and they won't
bite you" Words.
Daily camera., 1898-10-18
B.ckle.'s Arpica salve.

THE BEST SALVE in the world for
Cuts. Bruises, Sores. Ulcers. Salt Rheum.
Fever Sores. letter, Chapped Hands,
Chilblains. Gorns, and all Skin Erup-
tons, and positively cures Piles, or no
pay required. 1t is guaranteed to give
perfect satisfaction or money refunded.
Price IS cents per box. For sale BY
Streamer's Drug Store.
Daily camera., 1898-10-18
Easily Arranged.

"Av ye PLACE, mem, there's no fresh
eggs to be had in the market this MARI
nin'," announced the kitchen lady.
"Then, Norah!" said the young wife,
''go out at once and get some canned
sggs."-Chicago Tribune.
Daily camera., 1898-10-18
Mr.. Asburx Pennera.

"These peace at any price people,"
said the jingo boarder, ARE lot of
old women"
Woman" continued Asbury Pep
pers, was always fond of remnants
At bargain. Cincinnati Enquirer.
Daily camera., 1898-10-18

The books for this years work IN all
the schools, together with full line Of
school supplies and stationery are in
stock at Sawyer's old stand and foi sale
by Bouton.
Daily camera., 1898-10-18
Sorry That He spok

Sorry That He Spoke.
He-Darling, all the world loves =
lover.
She-Then you won't be afraid TO
tackle papa.-N. Y. Evening Journal.
Daily camera., 1898-10-18
Helping Him Along.

Jack Norox-I can't afford to marry.
Ethel Wynne-But if you were very
much in love you wouldn't let that
worry you until afterwardS-Puck.
Daily camera., 1898-10-18
DecIined with Thank..

Hewitt-Come to dinner with me-
Jewett-Where?
Hewitt-At my boarding house.
Jewett-No, thank you. / have stom-
ach troubles of my OWN. Y. Truth.
Daily camera., 1898-10-18
Lighthouses In England.

It is claimed that there is light
house to every IA miles of coast in Eng
land, to every "a in Ireland, and to
every 80 miles in Scotland.
Daily camera., 1898-10-18

Inspector Of Red Cross Supplies for the
National Guard)
raging OF black pestilence sweeping
away thousands of victims.
1t is noble work caring for sick and
wounded soldiers in malarial camps on
2attlefields. The work of the various
,uxilaries of the national guard is
lone under the advice of the govern
nent and with the sanction of the au-
thorities.
There are about 20 auxiliaries OF the
aational guard under the supervision
If women, and they have sent in the
neighborhood of 1000 worth of sup
olies to the front from the different
states.
They now propose to make this ma
tional movement stronger and more ef-
tective in all its departments. 1t is in
view of this proposed extension of the
great work that they have engaged
Miss Hamm as chief superintendent.
She is an exceedingly energetic wom-
IN, with untiring enthusiasm for all
enterprises of humanitarian charac-
ter
Miss Hamm is described by her
friends as French Canadian by birth,
Daily camera., 1898-10-18
A Good scheme.

He-Miss Beatrice, love you more
than can find words to tell.
Miss Beatrice Why don't you buy .
dictionary ry2-Somervilfe Journal.
Daily camera., 1898-10-18

Best Reason in the World.
"Why are you sure he never will be
a diplomat?'
Because he sometimes says what he
means. Chicago Post.
Daily camera., 1898-10-18

A cure guaranteed in every case under taken
xnen cure Is practicable and possible. Con
orrhoea, gleet and structure speedily cured with
permanently cured within THREE DAYS. o
euBEps, sANDALwOOD OIL nor coPAlBA
used.
spermatorrhoea, seminal losses, night emiss-
Ions, insomni, despondency, radically cured.
Ricord's method practiced In the Worlds Hos
pital, Paris.
Reference: Over 23,oOo patients successfully
cured within the last ten years. Can refer to
patients cured, by permission. Investigate.
Denver Colo.
English, French. German, Polish, Russian
and Bohemian spoken. COnsultatlOn ano One
examination rroc. Corresoondeuce solicited
strictly cou6dentiai
Fort Wrangel news., 1898-07-13
SON OF KOSSUTA.
4 Prominent Figure in the Hungarian
 Parliament Riots.

Franz Kossuth. son of the immortal Hunsarian patriot was a prominent figure in the recent riotous scenes in the Hungarian Parliament. Kossutk
Fort Wrangel news., 1898-07-13

was quite alone, the pianist might pour forth his soul through his finger tips, and give much better rendltions of the works he sought to interpret than he would when consciously playing for effect, but he would not be willing to try. No orchestra, no body of singers, would be willing to go through their performance behind curtain, unseeing and unseen, and yet, theoretically this ought to be the most satisfactory meth od of rendering n musical work. for, In this case. the singers and players would be undisturbed by the sight of the sea of faces before them, and the audience could enjoy the music without having their attention called away by the per sonality of the performers. No more than the singers and players. however would the audience be satisfied with the the people who gather at Il concert want to see how the chorus looks. and whether its members are as old and ugly as those of the grand opera chorus, and what sort of person the prima don m assoluta is, and what she has on, and how 1t fits, and how many men are in the male chorus, and how wide they can open their mouths. Even a theater crowd in a place of entertainment where the music Is merely subordinate and incidental to the main attraction. want to see the orchestra, gaze upon the bald back of the leaders bald head. watch the facial conyulsions of the man whose business 1t is to pierce the atmosphere with the upper notes of the piccolo, and sympathize with the man who extracts dying groans from the double bass. So the posing business seems to be quite satisfactory to both artists and their audiences. and so long as each party Is content 1t Is not easy to see why any one else has right 10 com plain.
 Of musical folk. the most competent posers for effect are the artists of the
Fort Wrangel news., 1898-07-13

Hongroise by the incomprehcnsiblc Llstz.
 The director of q musical organiza- ton, no matter of what grade, has op- portunitieS for posing somewhat Supc- rlOr to those of the pianist and some what inferior to those of the operItic hero, and Is allowed liberties not per mitted to either of the others. It is un- derstood that he Is always to keep the audience waiting for five minutes after the last struggling fiddler has struggled in, taken his seat and tuned his fiddle This is the directors privilege and he avails himself of 1t to the uttermOSt He takes it for granted that the public will be sufficiently entertained by lis tening to the tone as given out by the clarionet man, and immediately sue ceeded by Scrapings and blowings in every key that Bach discovered for the well-tempered clavichord. so he relies on the rest of the orchestra to furnish the fun for reasonable. sometimes an unreasonable. time, then enters with a strut as dignified as that of n turkey gobbler and as imposing as that of a peacock, hears with satisfaction the thunder of applause given by a tired audience glad of any change, and with deprecatory bow calmly appropriates to himself the credit due the entire or ganization.
 The drum major Is commonly regard ed as caricature of the orchestra di- institution of himself, the darling of the street, the envy of the policeman. the
Fort Wrangel news., 1898-07-13

make it right, while the pianist cheer fully tackles the bossng of the job. Of course, they always push it too far, and then pull 1t back too far so that good deal of careful manipulation Is re quired to place it exactly right; but the pianist does not object to working over time, the audience is always patient, for they know perfectly well what to expect, and that 1t Is quite impossible for the artist to play until his instru- ment has been successfully established over a certain crack in the floor and the Matehclcs have nothing to say about It, so everybody is satisfied. Con- tinement to the plano stool after the manual and pedal performance has ac- tually begun does not limit, though 1t hampers the posing of the performer. Before actually beginning the program he may run over the keys, and then give the stool hitch as the stage sailor does his pantaloons; during thoughtful. tender passages he may lift his eyes heavenward, as though gazing into in- finite vacuity, so that the women in the audience may see how intense Is his inspiration. and during the Scherzo he may sway back and forth, throw his coat tails about and kick under the piano as though driving out an imagin- ary canine which had taken refuge there, and all these gyrations will be regarded as the outward and visible signs of m inward and musical genius. They are looked for by the audience, who have made up their minds to en- dure them as plaeidly as possible, knowing that they are absolutely essen tial to the proper rendition of a piano composition. whether Nocturne by the dreamy Chopin. Moonlight Sonata by the rugged Beethoven. or Rhapsodie
Fort Wrangel news., 1898-07-13

into an E flat cornct Is able to diStort his face, Toll up his forehead into laps and assume an expression of intense agony that never falls to excite the sympathy of all beholders. His rival in this form of spectacular entertain ment Is the man with the big horn, who makes faces. not from choice, but of necessity; for the labor of filling so enormous receptacle with air and keeping IL full is so great as to draw drops of precipitation from even the baldeSt and most porelcss cranium. Of all the list he poses least in q conscious way, but most uneonsciously. He has not time to think of posing for if he did his horn would ger empty and sur cease from its laborS. The man who nightly thumps drum on the street as a means of grace. the blind man who uses an accordion In his efforts to at
 tract the attention of the charitable and induce them to ray him to stop, may pose in humble way, and frequently do so. but the big horn blower has both hands and his mouth full. and. though innocently spectacle. is unconscious ly. an object of sympathetic regard. He might pose If he could. but he can not. He alone. of the whole musical fraternity, makes no conscious effort to
Fort Wrangel news., 1898-07-13

admiration of all beholdlng small boys, who feel that to be Il drum major Is greater than to be king. Every street band is properly gauged by the drum major, and the bigger this parsonage, the taller his mighty hat, the longer his big-headed cane and the more tricks he can do with 1t without letting 1t fall the better the band He is strictly or
 namental, for his cane keeps no time, and after its first premonitory jab into the atmosphere as signal for the band to turn itself loose on the public, none of the players pay him the slightest at tention. But for this fact he cares noth- Ing, as It Is generally understood that he owns. In fee simple, not only the band, but also the whole parade which 1t precedes; that, in fact, the public demonstration has been arranged In his honor, and especially that he may allow the glories of his uniform to gladden. the eyes of his fellow-men.
 Compared with the drum major, the artist who comes before the public with an Amati or Stradiyarius under his arm Is n mere trifler in the art of pos ing. He does his best, 1t is true, stands first on one foot, then on the other, while he delicately tunes his Tyre, so to speak, and waits for the piano man to get up steam, and then gracefully sways back and forth as he tortures his unfortunate instrument into emitting shrieks of agony, but his opportunities are limited and unless he breaks q string, thus gaining chance to show what a variety of squeaks he can com pei the others to utter, he Is at a dis
 count Even the cornet man Is better off than he, for the professional whose interest and pleasure 1t Is to stuff wind
Fort Wrangel news., 1898-07-13

lyric drama Posing Is their business and not infrequently they devote more attention to their attitudes than to their music, as reckoning that any deficiency In the latter will be condoned by the audience on account of proficiency In the former. They have abundant facili ties for exercising all their gifts in this direction, and the only criticism that can be justly made on their efforts Is that they fall into regulation attitudes. which are in accordance with the tradi- tons of the stage, and have been in use so long that they have come to be con sIdered indispensable to the proper ren- dition of the part. Nobody, for in- stance. ever saw an actor play the heavy villain without bending his legs at n sharp angle and walking about on the stage as though afflicted with chronic anchyloSis of the knee joints. for crooked knee joints and heavy vil- lainy % together and the former nat urally suggest the latter. So. no one ever saw lover and his sweetheart on the lyric stage wind up an amorous duet without leaning against each oth- CT, the hands Of the heroine clasped In an attitude of wild despair. while the hero throws one arm around her cling ing form and extends the other in mid air, while the twain jointly emit q srreech that makes you inyoluntarily feel for your scalp. IL k not madness; it Is merely attitudinizing. and the clos CT they lean together and the more ear piercing the concluding yell the more ardent Is the expression of their undy- ing affection and the greater their de testation of the deep-dyed villain with his much-bent knees.
 Next in posing ability to the operatlc artists come the pianists. They do not enjoy the same facilities for posing. be- cause, being confined by the nature of their art to one spot, they cannot caper about the stage and transfix the audi ence with astonishment at their ability to turn round on their toes a dozen times without once falling down, but they make the most of their opportunl- ties, under all the circumstances, really do very well, and from their initial triple bows to the boxes and parquet to their Exit, Right" furnish their pat rons with n very passable show. Lady pianists are always expected to furnish preliminary entertainment with their gloves, which, after spending half an hour in pulling on In the dressing room. require five minutes to pull off after being seated at the piano. The gentle men of this profession. not wearing
Fort Wrangel news., 1898-07-13

definite answer S not easy to give, says the St Louis Glohe-Democrat. Music, according to the most highly inspired of poets, Is q heavenly gift. appealing directly to the soul while the striking of attitudes Is an earthly acquisition. gained through much practice and ap- pealing to nothing in particular unless 1t may be in an indirect way to the pocketbooks of the beholders. It Is quite possible that at some time in the history of the divine art men and wom- en played and sang without posing in such way as to attract more atten- tion by their attitudes than by their music, but that day, if lt eyer existed, has long gone by and music at present is as much matter of pose as of tone, and appeals in many cases quite as strongly to the eye as to the ear. It Is quite possible that this fact may have grown out of the conscious superiority that every musician and singer feels In regard to all other persons, no matter of what class, rank or condition-the feeling that one divinely endowed with the gift of music should take prece- dence of all others of the human race Nor does this feeling demand. as a pre- vious condition, much of an endow- ment. for it may sometimes be obServ- ed among musical folk that the less they know about music the more con ceited they are apt to be about their at tainment in this direction. as the lead ing soprano in a volunteer church choir often gives herself more airs than Patti. and the old darky who fiddles for all the dances in q country neighborhood not infrequently regards his own nut sical attainmcnts as more profound than those of Paganini
 Leaving the quantity and quality of musical knowledge and skill out of the question for the time being however. the attitudes struck hy musical people of different lines furnish q curious and
Fort Wrangel news., 1898-07-13

The Lord isn't near so deaf as some ministers seem to think.
 Women never really kiss each other They both know it is only an imitation.
 No woman can be deeply interested in politics and the fashions at the same time.
 The average girl will never admit that she likes to see man in his shirt sleeves.
 A girl never thinks much of a play unless she got so excited she forgot to eat her candy.
 A man can find a reason for anything if you give him time to think. A wom- an can, anyway.
 non't-worry clubs were invented so that the women could worry about how not to worry.
 A bachelor gets lonesome because he is alone; q married man gets lonesome because his wife is.
 There is only one thing sweeter to a woman than an offer of marriage and that is another one.
 The man q woman likes best is the one who knows when to say nothing and just pat her hand.
Fort Wrangel news., 1898-07-13

exceedingly interesting subject of study, as going to show that the musi- cal art of the present day Is felt and ac- knowledged to be as much q matter of pose as of melody or harmony. That this statement Is true Is readily sus- ceptible of proof. No artist would be willing to play or sing behind screen for an audience In front. It Is possible that, persuading himself under such cir cumstances by a sort of legal fiction, he
Fort Wrangel news., 1898-07-13
HAVE A BUSY TIME.
Girls Who Sell Tickets on he Chicago
 Elevated street Railroads.

Giris N no Sell IiCketS on he chicago
 Elevated street Railroads,
 rAe young women who sit behind the brass rallings and sell tickets at the stations on the elevated railroads in Chicago have mighty busy times, and rnen hours of labor are corresponding ly long Each enters her respective care at ! o'clock in the morning and remains there, practically locked up, til o'clock at night. Her meals are brought in to her from some conve- nicut restaurant and she eats as she can while performing her other duties. These afford ample scope for the full display of her mental and physical abil- itcs. With one hand she waits on the passengers, making change, keeping a Watchful eye for spurious money, for all of which she Is responsible person. allT. With her other hand she pulls a cord, which opens the gate of exit. One Of her feet she uses to press a treadle which rings up the fare of each passen- ger through the turnstile. The other foot is used to preserve a perpendicu- lar position on the high stool. Besides, she must look as pleasant as If she was having her picture taken. If she had another hand or two and q few ad
Fort Wrangel news., 1898-07-13

Mrs. Mamma-If Lord Forgivus asks you to marry him, tell him to speak to me. Ethel-Yes, mamma-but If he doesn't? Mrs. Mamma-Then tell him that I want to speak to him.-Truth.
Fort Wrangel news., 1898-07-13

gloves on entering. do little stage
 business with the piano. No matter where 1t Is placed, 1t Is always little too far one way or the other, and the services of the two uniformed Mate beles appertaining to the establishment must be brought into requlsition to
Fort Wrangel news., 1898-07-13
An Art of Itaelf.
ias |

Exactly why musical performers should feel it their duty to attitudinize as well as to play or sing Is one of those curious problems presented by the com- plexity of our civilization to which n
Fort Wrangel news., 1898-07-13

demanded that the ausleich-agreement of union-between Austria and Hun gary be not renewed, and aroused the widest enthusiasm among those who are eager to see Hungary absolutely in. dependent.
Fort Wrangel news., 1898-07-13

attract public attention, though he de serves more than even the drum major for without n big horn the largest or chestra would be thing unbalanced and out of joint.
Fort Wrangel news., 1898-07-13
HOW MUSICIANS POSE
ATTITUDES ASSUMED BY DEv-
 OTEES OF THE DIVINE ART.

AttitudiuizinG as n Part of the Busi- ness-The Musica1 Director and the Drum Mnjor-The Pianist and the Cornct Player.
Fort Wrangel news., 1898-07-13

G,,ional feet she thinks her employers would discover some work for them to perform also. For all of this the fair tieket-seller gets q salary of S1.50 a dnN.
The Holly chieftain., 1898-03-11
eAlDED nER MorA.a,s SPIRIT.
Practical Young wenan Didn's wan,
to he Aroused nt Nfght.

Kansas City has at least one young mar.
ried woman who takes q very pr0saic view
Of ghosts and so-callcd spirit manifestations
She WAS forced to spend night alone in 1
st. Louis hotel, her husband being detained
elsewhere by business. In the dead Of the
night she was awakened out Of sound sleep
by tremendous noise in the wardrobe. 1t
was such a sudden and unearthly uproar
that the woman, sensible and practical
though she was, was frightened. The noise
ceased, then returned. The woman jumped
up, lighted the gas, and made a thorough
search both Of the wardrobe and the room.
There was nothing 70 far as the evidence OF
the senses went which could account for the
racket. The woman put out the light and
went back to bed. The noise was not re.
pentcd. s9 faN8is. te
Six months afterward, however, the
woman was in San Francisco, and for the
first time in her life, and solely out of Gu
riosity, she attended Spiritualistic meet
ing. Almost Immediately the medium, a
perfect stranger, turned to her and said
The spirit Of your mother is present, mad.
am. and she says that six months ago inam.
ing the. precise date) she tried to communi-
cate with fou by means of the wardrobe in
the Blank hotel, st. Louis"
The woman's practical good sense did not
desert her.
well, you just tell my mother" she said,
that the next time she wants to communi..
cate with me not to make such an awful rack
ct in the dead of night and frghten me half
OUT OF my senses. Chicago Chronicle.