Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1898-11-10
THE BOWSERS' TROUBLES.
MIR. Bowser Has a Whirl at Carpet
Beating.
M. QUAD.
Copyright, 1893

| M. QUAD. Copyright, 1905
"Well, but what's all this?" ex-
claimed Mr., Bowser, as he came home
to dinner the other evening and found
the sitting-room carpet piled in a cor
ner and the room dismantled.
ITS time for house cleaning, YOU
know" replied Mrs, Bowser, when
you go down in the morning wish
you'd stop at the carpet cleaning place
and have them come Tor that carpet"
He said he would and made note Of
1t, but after dinner sudden thought
struck him. He stood looking al the
carpet for a minute and then said:
by George, but I'll do It'll It'll not
only he the best kind of exercise, bus
save bother and delay. Mrs, Bowser,
I'll beat the carpet in the back yard
this evening"
But ! don't want you to- she pro-
tested. That carpet has got to go to
the cleaning works and be thoroughly
| beaten"
"That carpet will be thoroughly
beaten right here, my dear. There's
a back yard, a stout clotheslne. and
with the aid of broomstick I'll knock
every speck Of dust out of it in ten
minutes"
But please don't try it. It will take
two men to handle it, and nobody can
beat a carpet in ten minutes, You
couldn't beat it thoroughly in half a
day."
"Now then, see here" he continued,
as he began to remove his cuffs, 81
want exercise in the arms and Shout
ders. I'm as stiff as a post. Beating
carpet will be better than the dumb
bells or clubs. An hours work will
make me sleep like a top tonight"
But some thing will happen and
you'll-you'll raise a row!" she fall
tered.
"Bosh! Nothing will happen, and
there'll be no row. It's 90 years since
| beat carpet, and it will bring back
the old days. Your father was beat
ing carpet in the back yard when
asked your hand in marriage"
"Ill pay for having it beaten out of
my own money, if you'll let it alone"
1T isn't a question of expense, Mrs.
Dowser," he answered, though we
might as well save the two dollars a 5
TO give it to the beaters. AS | said,
want the exercise, also believe that
| can knock out more microbes and
germs with a broomstick than any
steam carpet beaten in the world. III
shift into an old suit, and then I'll give
you few lessons on how to beat
carpet all in the merry springtime,
heigho."
Mrs. BOwser continued to protest.
but without avail. AS soon as he got
into an old suit of clothes, he spat or
his hands and made a sudden jump and
seized the monster bundle and gave 9
wrench and pull He was successful
in worrying it along to the door lead
ing to the basement, but then there
came a hitch. Mrs. Bowser took adj
vantage Of it to offer to buy theater
tickets for the evening if he would so.
but he could not be moved from his
purpose.
Just you go down and hunt me up
broomstick, and then stand by and see
the fur fly" he responded, and she
passed down ahead of him.
AS the bundle of carpet was larger
than the doorway, it did not need
much acumen to see that the one had
either to be enlarged or the other COM
pressed. Compression seemed to be
the quickest way out of it, and Mr..
Bowser spread himself all over the
bundle and braced and tugged until it
suddenly rolled through the doorway.
He hadn't planned to go with it, but
somehow he did. 1t was an even start.
Mr.. Bowser was also on top half the
time going downstairs, but on reach
ing the hall below he was underneath,
and it took the united exertions of Mrs.
Bowser and the cook and the grocer's
boy to set him at liberty,
Someone pushed that carpet, and l
know i'll" he shouted, as he got the
dust out of his throat and struggled up.
"But we were all down here" pro-
tested Mrs, Bowser. 81 told you some
thing would happen, and so it has. It's
wonder you didn't break your back
or neck. Won't you let it alone now"
"Never, Mrs. Bowser-never will be
baffied by an old carpet. I have set out
to beat it, and beat it l will or break
nv neck twice in two. 1t rather got
away from me on the stairs, but it's all
in the exercise. you know. Now, then,
out she comes!"
lie couldn't have moved the bundle
a foot but for the help of the boy and
the cook. After. tug which tired
everybody out, it was landed at the
back door. Then the cook and the boy
withdrew and Mr.. Bowser set about
getting the carpet over the clothesline.
There are men who have done such
things and lived to boast of it, but the
instances are rare. There is no affinity
between bundle of 90 yards of Amin
ster carpet and wire clothesline, and
Mr.. Bowser soon discovered it. BY
herculean exertions he could get cor
ner of it over the line, and it would stay
white he held 1t, but that was all the
progress he could make. After five