Evening journal., 1898-11-05
he WILL ENLIST NEXT TIME.
An Unfortunate stny-nt-Home OBJ
serves the Luck Of Man
Who Was Volunteer.


"If there is ever another war am
going to enlist, regardless Of the
cause"
This was the continuation Of din
ner talk at n club in this city. The
speaker proceeded:
"The other day saw Mrs. Blank
trying to hail the driver Of an ice
wagon by yelling at him. was dunn
founded, because she Is generally
helpless creature. and never heard Of
her interesting herself in any Of the
domestic duties of her house. / mem
toned the unusual occurrence TO my
wife at dinner, and she said she
thought it was very commendable In
Mrs. Blank. ventured 10 reply thatit
was not graceful and that / should not
care to see my wife yelling at an ice
man, or any man.
"'But you see,' rejoined my wife as
she passed my cup, Mrs. Blanks hus-
band. was a volunteer.
"'rrue, said I, but his command
never got to the front. No fault Of his,
l admit And now he Is home and is
as healthy and robust as l am. He told
me himself his army experience was an
outing for him, and that he never felt
better in his life
"'Quite true, said my wife. but Mrs.
Blank probably thinks Of what might
have been. saw her calling to the
iceman-she was not yelling, as you
put it; and she explained 10 me, dear.
that her husband had expressed a de-
sire for dish the preparation of which
required an extra allowance OF ice, and
that as he had said he had not tasted
the dish In question since he enlisted
she thought she would have It prepared,
and in order that there might be no
mistake she just put on her hat and
attended to the order herself. And
| think it was very sweet of her
81 Immediately changed the topic.
After q cigar / said l would call up
my liveryman and have him send
around the victoria and team.
thought an evening on Riverside in the
face Of the moon about the proper
thing. As was starting TO the tele-
phone my wife put her arms around my
neck and said she had sent the team
around to Mrs. Blanks because Mrs.
Blank had said that Mr.. Blank had not
been out for q drive since he enlisted.
"Last Saturday l concluded I would
give my wife bit of surprise and at
ten o'clock in the morning called her
over the wire and told her to have the
man bring her TO pier so-and-so, and tc
bring her traps for a bit Of a cruise
She thanked me. and said was
thoughtful, and put in some very pret
ty talk. She said in the same treacl,
tone:
"'say, Jim. dear, do you care If Mr.
and Mrs. Blank join us2'
"'WhyY l shouted bncl. They hat
the rig the other day when wanted It
I Confound It, can't we have our yach
one night alone?' asked.
"Well, 1 waited a minute for the ef
feet, and then heard her voice, loy
E and sweet. Jim, dear, know Il wa
! not just right. but had asked ther
= to 60 aboard this evening after yo
I came up. was going TO surprise yot
n And Mrs. Blank said Mr.. Blank had no
I been on a yacht since he enlisted.
e thought il would be nice
z "And so II goes. Mr.. and Mrs. Blanl
E were at a card party at my house, ant
my wife said she hoped l would no
skin Mr. Blank as I used 10 do, becaus
he had not been TO a card party sine
D he enlisted Mr.. Blank sent over 70
b my fishing outht-you know that out
s flt, which cost me $500 three years age
e never had It out but twice Well, Iva
S out of town, and my wife sent il over
q and when howled about il she salt
e poor Mr.. Blank had not been flshinl
:. since he enlisted.
T "And now Mr.. and Mrs. Blank AM
d my wife are away up in the Adiron
d dacks. cause Mr.. Blank has not bee
anywhere since he enlisted. And whe
he looks at me and sees me gettinI
I red in the face he shuts one eye an
says; Jim, you missed It when yo
e didn't enlistl' Why, darn his head, h
( hasn't been out of the statel"-N.
!. 1 Euu