The evening herald. [volume] (Shenandoah, Pa.) 1891-1966, 1898-07-14

iNANlMATE THINGS.
Theory That Thcy Have an Unpleasant
SENSE of Humor.

We have read and talked about the total
deprayity Of inanimato things, but the
sense of humor i'm intimate things has not
been written of ms it ought to be. There
can be littly doubt that inanimatc things,
especially if they are small and elusive,
POSSESS - strong sense OF humor.
For instance, u man had in his desk one
Of those curying things with a handle in
which shoots of blottiug paper arc held.
1t was convenient us long as it could bc
prevented from getting showed under on
his desk. ono day the man missed the
pad when he was writing and wanted it.
He had % cleared space occupying the cen
ter of his desk, and all around this space
was "A litter of papers, lettors and things.
Naturally he supposed that the pad had
got uudor these things. He searched
among the papers, but took care not to get
any OF them upon the cleared space i'm the
center. He searched over the whole lot,
and 1t occurred to him that this was Il
good time to put his desk in order. He
cleared up and sorted out all the thing,
and put thcln in p]igeonhules or within
bands and made his desk spick and span,
but no trace of the pad could be discoy.
cred.
He was discouraged, and as it was neal
lunchtiuu he locked up his desk and went
out to lunch. Whom he came back, ht
opened the desk, and there, exactly in the
middle of the desk, on the very spot which
his paper had occupied when he was writ.
ing, was that pad, simply glazing at him.
IL seemed to wear m expression that was
positively malicious. The man was forced
to conclude that the pad had IA strong
sense of hunOr, with "A tendency to prac
tiCal joking, and that it had concealed it.
self in some corner of the desk when he
was searching and while he was zone had
whipped itself out into tho most Conspicu-
GUS spot on the desk as a way of laughing
at him. OF course it wasn't possible that
he could have absentmindedly dislodged it
while he was looking over the papers and
gone of and left it there.
Lately the same man had "a slender little
pencil about two inches long. 1t was a very
amiablr little pencil, of pleasing manners
and >uayo movements, and the man used
to hold it between his forefinger and hi,
middle iinTor and direct it with his thuml
whilu he was scrHwling memoranda or do.
ing other things which required a pencil.
He kept it in "a waistcoat pocket. One day
the pencil turned up missing. He wanted
il and wanted no other pencil. He search
ed all his pockets several times over and
looked all over his desk and shelves and
even searched the floor. No trace of it.
He sat down to write with a long, un.
congcnial pencil. II seemed to balk and
mock him, and he said to himself, "Oh,
Lord, l wish that little pencil would APP
pearl And at that very moment it drop
ped upon his paper MS if from the sky, but
really from over his right ear, whero it
had humorously concealed itself. Though,
Of course, the humor came in the reap
pearauco rather than the disappearance,
articles without a grain Of humor in them
may conceal themselves behind ones car,
especially if the ear offers ample oppor
tunity for such concealment, but to fir
out just at the psychological moment
that takes real humor.-Boston Tran.
script.