davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-03-26
He Paid the Fine.

William Woolsey was arrested last
Wednesday evening and on next morn
ing was fined $50 and costs fol con-
tempt of court. He paid the bill.
1t appears that II. c. Rivers worked
for VIM. Woolsey on his. ranch IS
miles south Of town, and that the form
er claimed an amount exceeding $40
due ON wages from the latter, to rccov-
er which he entered suit in Judge Mare
lius' court. The papers were made out
and served, Richard Bennett acting as
attorney for plaintiff. The case did not
please Mr.. Woolsey and in a moment
Of rage he appeared before the court,
abused the Judge, and Mr.. Bennett, APP
plying the vilest cpithets to each. Then
he turned loose the walls Of his wrath on
the town and cursed everybody in it
The Judge placed him under arrest and
when deputy Sweeney came to take him
in tow, he wanted to lick n whole pos
Sc of policemen and II couple of mar,
shals in the bargain. The Judge hauled
him up and fined him as above stated
At first he did not take the matter seri.
ously, but the deputy sheriff would moi
let him go home till the court released
him, and he settled.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-03-26
An Excellent Ranch.

one Of the garden spots of Montana
is the ranch owned by Capt. J. V. Stat
ford in the lower Missouri valley of
Meagher county. 1t lies near the river
at the mouth of Avalanche gulch which
breaks Il of the Diamond range about
six miles above Canyon FeIry. 1t con-
sists of about 1870 acres of the finest
land ia he found anywhere. 1t is reach
by a road from Canyon Ferry along the
Missouri and also by a road from White
Sulphur Springs which descends Con-
fcderate gulch. Protecting this ranch
on the north and east are the lofty
mountains of the Diamond range, and
on the south and west, except for the
hill several miles distant across the
Missouri river, the ranch is open TO the
first rays of the ascending sun and the
first summer breezes. 1t is an ideal
spot for mans habitation, we'll watered
and well rtimbered, with plenty of range
for stock.
The writer never saw the place de-
scribed, but having frequently heard of
it he had Il talk with Jack Wilson of
Neihart who knows every foot of the
ground in that part of the country. On
this ranch Capt. and Mrs. Stafford have
lived many years, and reared a family of
two boys and one girl, the latter having
married and taken residence at Helena.
The childrens names are George, Brick
Pomeroy, and Jessie.
A large part of the ranch is planted
in fruit of all kinds indigenous to the
temperate zone, and it is here that the
manufacture is carried on of that de-
lightful beverage, the currant wine of
commerce known as Stafford's best.
This wine is standard wherever it has
ever been tested, and many people OF
Neihart and surrounding towns keep il
in their houses as an ever present re.
course in case of sickness. 1t is made
with extreme care from ripe currants
and contains no impurities or adultera,
tons.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-03-26
OBI J,NG'S TEA.

In the quaint ceic=' 81 l;-.'crl in the realm
Of far Cafiiay.
Where the mighty yellow iiTtt wriggles on its
crooked way,
Once there stood a far ~ia.cCi where, in truly
regal style,
Dwelt the wealthy merchant Chow Chow, who
in tea had mad his pie,
And his only daughter 500 Choo, who was
lovely as a drenu
And whose suitors came to WOO her in a never
ending stream.
But she gazed upon them coldly, and she told
each one to quit
And to all their ardent plcadings gave a chill
Mongolian "Nit!'
For, OF course, there was another, which IL
quite the proper thing,
And another" in this instance bore the name
of Obi Jing,
And he ran a lowly laundry, where he labored
day and night,
And the cuffs he starched were s~potlcss, and
the shirts he washed were white.
But the hot and fiery Chow Chow foamed when
Obi came to WOO,
And he SCARED the %lattcr's trousers with his
plush and satin shoe,
And through teeth which stuck together-he'd
been eating birds nest soup
Sputtered bits of ''broken China, +" varied by q
mufiied whoop
lnen lie sWOfc tndt blackcSt rum was the
vengeance he would wreak,
And no more to Obs laundry did he send a
shirt a week,
And young Obi, crushed and broken, as he saw
starvation nigh,
Wrote his love a parting letter and went of
alone to die.
By the rivers bank he wandered, where the
weeping willows wave,
And he murmured, Meath yon torrent will
| find a quiet grave"
When a dead leaf, dry and blackened. ~luttered
from the willow tree,
And with sudden inspiration Obi seized it,
shrieking TEA
That was. years ago, my children, and the leg
end now is old,
How the leaves were picked and roasted and
as tea, were packed and sold
To the white man at u figure that for cheap
ness "broke the slate"
While young Obi prospered greatly and grew
rich at wondrous rate,
And he welded lovely 500 Choo, and hel
cruel pa assigned,
So we see that virtue triumphs, aided by {
brilliant mind.
And, my dears, if any evening you will COME
and dine with me
At our boarding house you'll doubtless have
cup of Obs tea.
Nixon Waterman in L. A. W. Bulletin.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-03-26
CLEO'S THRIFTY MOTHER.
Washed and Ironed the Dancers CIothe
and Walked Miles For Twenty Cents.

Washed and Ironed the Dancers Clothes
and Walked Miles For Twenty Cents.
h parsimony of foreign celebrities
who come to this country has been fire.
quently amusing to Americans. There
have been some very striking instances
OF 1t III recent years, but the mother of
Mile. Cleo de Merode seems to have car
ried off the palm in this respect. Sal
vini, it is said, was so penurious that he
bought a sandwich on the street for 5
cents rather than pay for his suppe at
a hotel, and one of the stories told about
him on his last visit to this country was
that once in Philadelphia he gave the
porter of a hotel a penny and told him
to buy him three lacks. The actor had
discovered that his trunk was damaged,
and he wanted to repair it himself.
Talnaqua vas notorious here for his
stlnglness. 1t was said that he sold the
tickets sent to him i'll view of his artists
privilege and hired his own brother as q
valet because he could be got at a cheap
figure. Then he used to make him roll
his trunks around on a truck at the for
eign custom houses rather than pay the
porters a fee for the work. Herr Van
Biene marked as a curiosity and sent
back to England a hotel bill of fare on
which he had marked the price, 81. so,
for a tenderloin steak as one of the won
ders OF an e~&travagant and youthful
country. 1t may have been nothing
more than good business Judgment
which prompted Mile. Calve to look for
q business manager while she was here
and then express the greatest astonish-
ment that such an assistant of the most
capable kind could not be hired for $40
a week.
These are some of the stories told
about the highly paid foreigners who
come to exhibit themselves here. But
Cleo's mother holds the record. 1t is
said that she astonished the servants at
the Imperial hotel by washing her
daughters clothes i'll the bathtub and
ironing them herself. On the day before
they returned to Europe the ballerina
snd her mother We're seen ON lower
Broadway. They had gone down to one
ef the exchange Offices in order to get
500 in French money. 1t was raining.
An acquaintance met the two just as
they We're coming out of the office.
"Why, that wretch inside" ex-
claimed the mother Indignantly, wants
to give me only SIT francs for 500"
Then Nine. la Mere de Cleo de Merode
put up her umbrella with a mighty en-
phasis and stepped out on to the side
walk. why, a man offered me 51S up
town. But l thought I could get $40
down here. Now we shall have to walk
up town, for otherwise there will be no
profit left for us" Then Cleo and her
mother started to trudge up town. The
dancer received 50, 900 for her appear
ances here. New York Sun.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-03-26
Train Got Away.

A slip occurred on the outgoing train
last Tuesday when the engineer tried to
put on the brakes. The grade for five
miles out of Neihart exceeds 100 feet to
the mile, and with IN icy track it is i'm
possible to hold Il train unless all brakes
work perfectly.
On this day engineer Anglin at the
throttle tried to held his train but found
for some reason the airbrakes would not
work. When he saw the train WAS
gaining terrific speed he reversed his
engine and called down brakes. Con-
ductor Jewell and the crew responded
bravely and although every brnke on
the train was applied they were five or
six miles out of town before the train
slowed up. II was u hot run and every
passenger on the train was excited al
most out Of mind. some prayed and
crossed themselves while Others scream
ed and cried and thus helped out as hest
they could. Al Jewell, the conductor,
froze one hand badly while applying
brakes in an atmosphere 30 degrees be.
low zero. Tommy Hodges upset his
oil stove and smothered the flames with
his coat. The train ran round the
curves or one rail, aud all the female
passengers tainted, some of them exhih.
iting grace and proficiency in the man.
ner of this accomplishment. But laying
all jokes aside, nobody on that train
wants to repeat the experience.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-03-26

The irritated father Of a truant boy
was filling up sundry holes in the back
yard where the urchin had prospect
ed" for angleworms Il few hours before,
when a neighbor who happened to be
leaning over the fence remarked, with a
praiseworthy effort to say something
consoling:
well, your boy, at any rate, is a
faithful disciple Of lzaak Walton"
"Him?" exclaimed the father, stop
ping to rest a moment and leaning dis
mally ON the hoe handle. "He amt "a
disciple of nobody. All he's good fur on
earth is to set on some log all day and
fish. youths Companion.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-03-26
MINtAken.

"Look here, Bridget" said an indig.
nant lady, 81 have missed things eve
since You came to live with me, and to-
day l took the liberty of searching your
room and found my lace handkerchief
in your bureau drawer"
LUX at thot, now!"
eyes, and | found my lace jabot and
one of my wells i'll your trunk"
"Did amy one iver!"
"And you had a pair of my gloves i'll
your ROOM.
"Luk at thot ag'in, now!"
81 have taken all my things to my
W room, and / want You to leave the
house today
"Oh, but Oil lave fasht enough, for
it's not Oh thot wants to wurruk for
amy Teddy thot SO far forgits hersilf as
to 90 pryin round in a girruls room!
OF tot Oh was wurkin for a Teddy, but
Oi'ye found cut me mistake an OH
lave this minute!'-Youth's Compan-
ion.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-03-26
QUAD'S QUEER TALES
K.anlnr Ont Of rrnnhIe.

/ had gCue ever a country store with
Mr. Hooper and noticed the usual half
dozen men loafing about the place. Each
seemed to be i'll sulky mood, and as soon
as we got what we wanted Mr.. Hooper
quietly said to me, eff any of them ak
us to stop, We must say we are in a big
hurry"
We had started to go when II of the
men called out.
"See we're, Jim Hooper! It's my opin
yum that l kin jump ten feet ON the
level!''
Don't doubt it, Tom, don't doubt
it, was the reply as we hurried on.
"And say, Jim Hooper, called a
second. Its my dawggoned %opinyun
that yo' can't jump five feet"
"No, reckon not, Abe" replied Nh.
Hooper as he hurried me along. Two or
three others shouted something we did
not catch, and when we were half a
mile away l asked Mr.. Hooper what
was the trouble.
mo trouble tall, 7" he replied. "We
got away befo' the trouble could begin.
That Tom Benners he kin jump jest six
feet and no mo-. He's cut TO- feet off
his tapeline, and when he measures his
jumps he claims ten feet"
but suppose he does claim it,"
"Then yo' hev to allow the claim or
he begins to pop at yo', and I don't
keer to be popped at today"
"And what about the one who said
you couldn't jump five feet?"
A he WborforS Woo1 hoe .,+ Rro
feet on to his tape line, and if l jumped
and said anything about it he'd git mad
and begin poppin. l jest hurried away
to keep cl'ar of a fuss. If we'd hung
around a bit longer, the old Teller on
the bar'l would hev wanted to wrassle
with yo', and if yo' had downed him
he would hev loaded yo' with lead"
Rather queer people, aren't they?'
"Waal l can't say as to that. In
course they do mo- or less shootin when
they git mad"
"But they seemed anxious to pick a
fuss"
Eyes, gorter anxious, and I'm kinder
sorry to see 'em disappointed. Hello
Thar's Mr.. Davis. Good mawnin."
GOOD mawnin, replied the man on
a mule.
"Gwine to stop, Mr.. Davis?"
eyes"
SCOT yo'r gum"
"Yes."
"Waal, the boys are down thar and
ready fur a fuss, and mebbe yo'll be SC
kind and condescendin as to obleege
EN-"
II reckon l will, as I'm feelin power.
full peart this mawnin."
"That's good. Wanted to do it my.
self, but had the stranger along. Yes,
obleege 'em if yo' kin, Mr.. Davis, and
I'm suah yo'll cum out top O. the heap. .
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-03-26
Fares Reduced,

The Montana Central railway offers a
rate of one and 0nc-tifth fare for the
round trip to attend the farmers insti-
ute ut Great Falls, March 20, 30, and
81. Tickets will be sold at all stations
between Neihart, Barker and Great
Falls, commencing March 2S, good to
return April |. This gives everyone al
opportunity to visit the cataract city a
much lighter expense, and at the sam
time to enjoy the benefits of an inter
csting convention.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-03-26

country, and every housewife raised her
" fax and made her own linen.
The favorite novels Of worldly young
women were Victoria" Lady Julis
Aandeville' and Malvern Dole"
a new England girl was not allowed ia
marry until she could bake a loaf of bread
ana cut 1t in smooth, even slices while 1t
was still warm.
when a Nirginian started on a journey
TO New York, he made his will and bade
farewell to his friends as though be ex-
pected never to see them again.-New Or
leans es-Democrat.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-03-26
Mixed.

A Mississippi girl described her first
visit to "a city in the following rhapsody
"Oh, l had such a perfectly beautiful
time! Everything was SO converted, you
know. W. stopped to a house where we
rode to our roomsi in a refrigerator, and
our rooms were illustrated with cleo
ton lights. There was no stove in the
room, but one of those Legislators in
the floor, and the heat poured right uT
through. l did not have any appetite
and could not get q thing ! could real
ize. Honestly. when l got home ! wal
almost an individual. Atlanta Son
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-03-26
Doesn't Believe In Dreams.

Ode d~reambook cum to de cull'd man
as soon as he could read" said Brother
Gardner at the last meeting of the Lime
Kiln club, IAN it has stuck right to
him eber since. From whar | stand l
kin see no less dan half a dozen of SIGH
books stickin out of de pockets of men,
bers, an no doubt de number am clus
up to so in all. Not satisfied wild maxim
a fule of hisself about de rabbits fut, de
Guild man must consult de dreambook
from mornin to night an back ag'in.
Oar was a time when / did de same, but
it didn't take me ober a var to diskiber
dat | was maxim an idiot of myself. l
hev only to shet my eyes to call up sar-
tin things laid down in de dreambook.
eff yo' dream of bein kicked by a
white boss at midnight, yo' am gwine
to be lucky in yo'r luv affairs.
"If yo' dream of tindin a $40 gold
piece as yo' walk up hill at sunrise, it
am a sign dat dar am "a pot of money
buried in yo'r back yard.
eff yo' dream dat yo' am sittin on de
fence at MONDAY an a white man rides
past an frows yo' Il gold watch, yo' am
EWlne to be leckted to Ofls.
"If yo' dream dat a black hen run be-
tween yo'r feet as yo' vas walkin across
a cotton field, it am a sign dat yo'r ole
woman am gwlne to expire an glib yo'
de chance to marry a young gal.
Oats de way it goes, an about four
fifths of de Guild populashun of dis
kentry am firm believers in de dream
book. l amt gwine to say dis club has
any law to git rid of SIGH members, but
when dey drap in yere l hope dey will
take dc back row OF seats an keep as
quiet as possible. De man who let's him
self be guided by a dreambook in dis
day an aige hain't got de sense OF a boss.
De white nan who publishes dat book
simply wants to git dc cull'd mans two
bits, an he succeeds cherry time.
"In my 60 Vars of life l hev had a
heap of dreams. 1 hev dreamed dat l
was in heaben, an | hev woke up red
hot arter dreamin dat | was i'll de odder
place. | hev dreamed of white cats,
black cats all all odder sorts. In my
dreams l hev seen all sorts of bosses,
nevis, donkeys, coons, possums an
woodchucks. l hev dreamed of gold,
silver, brass and iron. | hev walked up
hill an down hill an on de level. | hev
bin deade broke an | hev had money to
burn. | hev dreamed all dis all a heap
mo-, but in no one case has it helped Oh
hurt me to de extent of a nickel. II ]
had biles, dey staid right along. II ]
was out of money, l had to look fur a
job. If de flour bar'l was empty when ]
went to bed to dream, it was empty
when l got up in de mawnin, no matter
whether l had dreamed of bar'ls of gold
OF mountains of dirt. It's de dream
book an de rabbits fut OATS holdin dc
Guild man back an keepin him down
mo- dan all other influences, an l DOM
reckon to lib long huff to see any great
change. It's sort of BON i'll him, an il
will take vars to pound it outer him
We are now gwine to break de meetiI
in two an go home. Perhaps dar am one
among yo' who last night dreamed daI
l lent 81 dis e~avenin. If SO, let dat in
dividual approach me as we go down
stairs, an / will prove to him dat hi
dreambook hain't no better dan an oil
oyster can on top of a bar'l of ashes"
M. QUAD.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-03-26

AS the learned philosophers of CASTLE
gathered about Columbus they laughed
derisively.
The intrepid ~discoverer, however,
broke the tip of the eggshell, and, pres
to, the thing was done!
Amid the plaudits of the company
Columbus made his egg-sit.-New York
Press.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-03-26
A CEN URY AGO

Three-fourths of the books In every H.
brary came from beyond the Atlantic.
Twenty days were required for a letter
to go from New York to Charleston by
land.
The only recognized method Of impart-
ing informa lion was by the liberal use Of
the rod.
The United States contained fewer peo-
pie than now live in New York and its
suburbs.
When a man had enough tea, he placed
his spoon across his cup to Indicate that
he wanted no more.
There were no manufactures in. this
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-03-26
Advertised Letters.

The following is a list of the letters
remaining uncalled for in the post Office
ut Neihnrt, Mont, for the month ending
Feb. 2S, 1893.
Cramp Frederick Henry Larson
Dupton Geo Quigley John
Fleming Alex Turner Earl
Hutton Geo Nogel John
Wilson f
Parties calling for the above will
please say 'advcrtised."
T.. X. ABBOTT, p. NJ.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-03-26
Hurt the Choir's Feelings.

Mrs. Homer hear that all the
members of your church choir resigned
yesterday. What was the trouble?"
Mrs. Churchly-Why, after singing
the first hymn the minister arose and
opened his Bible and chose for his text
Acts Xxx, "And after the uproar had
ceased, etc.-Ghicago New
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-03-26

"Do you see the MANI
"Yes, | see the man..
"And the crowd that is following him?"
eyes"
"Does the mob want to lynch him? What
has he done? Murdered somebody"
"No, he has not committed IA crime, but
an awful fate is in store for him. He has
just been getting married, and the men
who are chasing him are life insurance
collectors. "-Cleyoland Leader.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-03-26
OF the Home Guard.

A citizen who could never be persuaded
TO enter politics received this flattering no.
ttce from a Georgia editor:
Congress, legislator,
Couldn't make him roam;
Full O. human natur';
Fell in love with home.
Never nuthin like him
ANY time o. day;
Lightnin didn't strike him
Cause he kept out o the way.
Atlanta Constitution.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-03-26
An Unjust Charge.

Somebody is trying to prove that
society is responsible for murders"
"Well, that's wrong. Society is made
up of people who want to kill one an
other and never do. Chicago Record.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-03-26
Its Use

"What is the Use of the vermiform APP
pendixs'' asked the teacher of the class in
physiology.
1.-The vermiform appendix, " promptly
answered Tommy Tucker, lis useful to
keep things ont of. Chicago Tribune.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-03-26
For n Rainy Day.

"Here, my dear" said the farsight-
ed husband, PUT this money in the
stocking for a rainy day" She bought
a pair, and they really looked lovely on
Chestnut street yesterday ,-Philadel-
phia Record.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-03-26
A Problem PLAY,

81 believe you describe your new piece
as "a problem play" said the friend.
Eyes" replied the theatrical manager
"That's what the author said it was going
to be, and Tor once he knew what he was
talking about. Making the receipts cover
the railway and hotel bills keeps me doing
arithmetic 81 hours IA day.''-Washington
Star.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-03-26
Loud Enough to Cause Insomnia.

"My dear, l can't sleep. That clock
is ticking like a sledge hammer"
"Eh: That isn't the clock, my dear.
That's the necktie you gave me fol
Christmas. "-Clryeland Plain Dealer.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-03-26
In the klondike.

Mulcahey-Here, Moike! Olive struck
o nugget thot weighs a thoosand poonds.
Dennigan-Freeze on to it Patrick, me
boy!
Mulcahey-Thot's what Olive done.
Hurry and bring the stove from the shanty
and milt me loose!-Memphis Appeal.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-03-26

II yoN would know the vast unknown,
II need but to your lot befall
To meet and talk an hour with
The man who thinks he knows it all.
Richmond Dispatch.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-03-26
Gastric

"That was an awful tragedy at Minzen-
helms. The hired girl blew out the gas
"And was found dcad?"
"Naw. The top of the window happen
ed to be wide open. But Minzenheim fell
In an apoplectic fit when he found how
the gas had been wasted. '-Cincinnati
Enquirer.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-03-26
The Way He Feels.

| want to be mn angel,
Which same shows my good taste,
And yet / might Ms we'll remark
I'm not al all in haste.
Cincinnati Enquirer.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-03-26
Glad He Survived.

The good lady scrutinized him closely.
"Didn't l give you a whole meat pie a day
or two ago. She inquired in icy tones.
eyes, num- replied the tramp. I'm
the same party. But I've recovered, and
II you'll make it plain bread and butter
this time III be much obliged. "-Tit-Bits.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-03-26
Love and Lovers.

Love is indeed a paradox.
Loversf As to these,
Some think they are a pair of ducks
And some a pair of geese!
Detroit Journal.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-03-26
Reasonable objection.

"Hepperton says he won't marry m
one but a widow"
Il hope he won't marry mine. In
dianapolis journal.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-03-26
The Old Sinner.

he wa1 a hundred and a day.
He sIyly looked at ME.
"letl, ! have drunk and chewed and
tlnEoked
Through all my lite," said he.
He WAS II hundred and n day,
And he WAS sturdy yet.
But, gentle reader, it was in(
The loorllouse that we met.
Cleveland Leader.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-03-26
Cheap Enough.

Tom-May l have a kiss?
Pally-No, but l will sell you all you
want.
Tom-How much do you charge?
Pally-Two kisses apiece.
QIc buys half IA dozen. New York
Journal.