Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1898-12-24
"It.a a nome, she volunteered

with shiver OF fright.
Now, that was just like a woman,
but / didn'f dare tell Constance so-un-
disturbed by yowling cats, yet thrown
into fright over a sound that it took
me ! 8 minutes to hear and Is minutes
more to locate. I lit the gas and started
on search for the mouse.
Then it was that Constance forged 20
the front as a military dictator. She
could give Shafter miles and then beat
him. Huddled up in the middle of the
bed che conducted the campaign, leay
ing me to 60 to the front and get into
the hot of battle. Spaniards are like
getting money from home in comparison
to catching a mouse.
''Ch. he's eating up that edition DO
luxe of the Three Musketeers' that you
gave me when we were engaged, I"
squealed Constance.
Now as that edition de luxe she men
toned consists of two volumes that
weigh about three pounds each, and as
there is arsenic in the green binding, l
didD worry about it, but went to the
bookshelves, pulled back the curtains,
gave shove or two on the bottom shelf
and out jumped one Of the most fero-
cious mice / ever saw. ] jumped to
meet him, and we rolled over on the
floor together, but in the melee he es-
capped. Constance says was trying to
get away from the little beast. Well, il
was l didn't succeed, for it was all
could do to keep from screaming when
in it's reciprocated excitement it touch
ed me with at least two dozen cold,
scratchy, little feet.
was starting back for headquarters
when Constance began to execute a
series of fantastic gestures. She waved
her arms appealingly and pointed at
the curtain over the door to her writing
room. Then she pointed at the mantel-
piece. l promptly turned out the gas
and secured my pistol.
"Oh, Mr.. Binei Why can't you I'M
derstand?" she finally said.
Now / could have said something
cruel there, but refrained. | was not
reared on a Comanche reservation, and
/ have no Apache blood in me. lit the
gas again, disarmed myself, secured the
broom my wife had gesticulated at and
ambushed myself behind the foot of the
bed, to watch for any commotion that
might indicate the whereabouts of the
willy mouse. The curtain, which Of
some flimsy stuff-crinoline or Isle
thread silk-began to hutter again.
"Deploy," said Constance.
"You don't deplore this half as much
as | do, - l said, perhaps little snap
pishly. The clock was striking /.
"That is military phrase, said
Constance haughtily. "Enfilade him, )"
she added aggravatingly. 1t was plain
Constance was trying to enrage me.
But was superior to her efforts-that
is, until she made her next remark. In
a rush Of desperate determination, feel
ing that l was sure TO get that mouse,
/ charged on the curtain and hit several
sounding whacks.
Constance said that / should have put
on my slippers before l began to prowl
around after the mouse. At any rate, /
could not contain my Anglo Saxon feel
ings when that mouse jumped graceful
ly out of the curtain and scampered
across my feet. When he touched my
left foot, jerked it up, and when he
touched my right foot almost at the
same moment lifted that, and as re-
suit of this ambipedal movement /
went down ON the floor in a heap. l
suppose it must have been funny-very
fnnny-for Constance, forgetting her
fright, rejecting all sentiments of graft
tude, fairly screamed at me between
bursts of hysterical laughter, "Foiled. !"
''It is just as well that l do not re-
member what retorted. Constance says
she will try to forget it. 1t didn't take
me long to get back to bed, and had
very little to say. 1t is likely was a
little ashamed of myself. But here is a
point | would like to have some light
thrown on--was Constance a humorist
or merely woman when she said to
me at breakfast, "Mr. Bine, we would
have had no trouble at all if one of those
cats had been in the room?"
And when | said, Eyes, it would
have stopped the yowling outside" she
laughed until Alice and Joseph stared
at her in amazement.
wonder if she meant that the cat
would have caught the mouse? Never
theless | am now the proud possessor of
a nousetraD and ann merely awaiting