Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1898-08-18
Colonel Sam Norris Lived and Nearly
Died In Philippines.
Wished he Could Have Coached Boys in Blue
He Praises the Delicious Wild
Goose Of Hawaii.


ing hands with a BULLETIN man.
"You know 1 have been in the
Philippines myself" continued
the venerable philosopher. Il
liked to have died there, too, and
would have died if l hadn't known
something Of physiology and hu-
man nature. l wouldn't let the
doctors poison me. ....
Bod" It's hot in Manila-unheslthy
but it's beautiful country. l
wish l could have seen the soldiers
here. 1 might have advised them
how to take care of themselves in
that climate. .
There's miserable lot of peo-
pie in the Philippines. Back in
the mountains of Luzon there are
thousands of savages who have
never been conquered by the Spa
niards. They are race of small
men called Negrltos.
"The Philippines have been
very badly governed. They are
ruled entirely by the priests-the
worst kind of priests.
al saw in Manila one of the
greatest miracles that ever hap
pened. 1t was preached about in
the churches for a long time.
Three pirates were to be garroted.
You know that garroting is the
Spanish mode of executing. The
mans head is placed against a
board, with an iron strap binding
on his throat, and screw at the
back of the board is turned. This
tightens up the strap till the man
is strangled. ...
Well, these pirates were set
up and the executioners were put
ing on the screws, when an earth
quake came and knocked everybody
down. Manila is a great place for
earthquakes. The executioners
were thrown on their backs, and
a lot of priests tumbled over. l
fell myself.
when the priests came to their
feet again, they held up their
hands and exclaimed: God has
interviewed to show that these
men are innocent. Let them 60 =
sand the pirates were taken out
of the garrotting machine, and
marched all over town to pro-
claim the miracle. This celebra-
ton was kept up for three days"
So much for the colonel's re-
miniscences of Uncle Sans con-
quest in the Orient: Now for a
fresh tack:
"You have the same officers
running the government here as
before annexation. It's a great
fraud. We should have the
United States laws here. The
country was not taken for the sake
of these people, but only to keep
it from japan or Spain.
"They had to pay japan for
trying to keep out the japanese,
and would have had to pay even
if the United States he'd not inter
fered.
"If they want to keep out the
Japanese they could have done it
without gteting into trouble.
While there were epidemic dis
eases in Japan this Government.
could have stopped all Japanese
i'm migration. Nobody could have
objected"
The recipient of the interesting
talk here 10 part set down found
it was time to slide for BULLETIN
headquarters with his latest jot-
tings of the day.
"Why don't you come up to Ka
huku and get fat ?" Col. Norris,
with kindly smile, said to him at
the counter.
"Judge Martin and party went
up on the mountain the
other day and shot "a geese.
They loaded down several mules
with the game. The Hawaiian
native goose is the finest in the
world. 1t tastes different from any
other l ever tried"
Col. Norris admitted, in an
swer to question, that he was up
to. look after his legal rights in
the controversy over Kahuku
Ranch. He said that a Portu-
guese combination had the option
of buying the ranch for home
steads. The settlers might not