Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1898-04-13

The listening shades Uttered incredu-
ously. You say they said, that you
woke up to find yourself in the whales
belly and that you Immediately dropped
OF again into 4 delicious sleep?'
thought" said the shade of Jonah,
that | was at home in my at."-New
York Press.
You don't mean to tell me that hen is
8 years old?'
Yep"
And still laying?'
Yep
Say, she must be the hester of her
profession. '-Cleveland Plaindealer.
Most of the current stories about con-
1urers are at the expense of the public
some one of whom is commonly made
ridiculous by the juggler. A story relat-
ed by the Youths Companion Of Bella
chlnl, famous con- urer of an earlier
time, goes the other way.
Bellachini, who had Travelled almost
all over the world, found himself at last
II Morocco. where he gave a performance
before the Sultan.
BY way of climax he took a snow-white
and gray pigeon, cut off the head Of
each, and then placed the white head on
the gray pigeon ard the gray head on
the white pigeon, after which the two
birds, each with the others head on, flew
away alive as if noting had happened
or appeared to do so, since of course it is
necessary inference that Bel'achini in
some way managed a substitution of live
pigeons for dead ones
The Sultan liked this performance very
much, and having ordered two of his men,
4 negro and a light Berber, to be brought
forward, he commanded Bellachini to cut
off their heads, and to exchange them
as he had done with the pigeons.
Bellachlnl was much taken aback by
this proposition. He was unable to per
form any such trick of course, but he
did not like to confess it. He said to
the Sultan, through the interpreter:
Pardon, your most gracious majesty,
my apparatus is arranged only for pig
cons. not for men. | require at least
fourteen days to prepare for the perform
ance you desire. VIII your majesty grant
me an extension Of that time?'
Yes the Sultan answered, "the ex-
tension is granted"
Bellachini left the place and Immediate
~ took flight from the country.
THE Spanish minister says the Ameri-
can newspaper men should all have their
heads cut off -
But if you cut off the heads who will
read the articles ?'-Cleveland Plain
dealer.
i am very glad to have been of any
comfort to your poor husband, my good
woman. But what made YOU send for me
instead of your minister?' 'Well, sir
It typus my poor husbands got, and we
dlnna think it just rect for our ain min
lister TO run the risk"
Glad to see your' growled the old gen
eraI, feebly. What do you know about
heavenI'
Now IA ;ndro Nv ro~,o &c A. 1
gentIemen's sermons, this was a subject
with Which he was uncommoniy CONVEX
SAINT; bat somehow when suddenly called
TO the bar IN this incisive way he found
some difficulty in bringing his knowledge
TO bear. He stammered, hesitated; in
short, did everything but give the re-
CURED information.
why don't you answer" demanded
the general, peevishly. POUNDS, man,
m going on journey, and you're one Of
about the country I'm bound for? Bah!
L suspect you're q humbug."
This was pretty hard treatment for one
of the sacred cloth; and fancy there was
as much of (unwitting) retaliation as of
duty in Mr.. McMann's reply:
1T would be more profitable for you to
think of past sins than of future pros
poets. Repentance"
The dying man had heard the remon-
STRANGE thus far with the quizzical air of
ing motive; but here he struck in with,
Answer me this. Are we saved by
works or faith?'
Faith, certainly began the clergy
man; faith in
Very goodr' again interrupted the
patient. 'Who accuses me of unbeIief?
Don't accept all the articles of Chris
tan faith?"
Yes but
well, then, I don't see but my ticket
o11-o+ or1-b. ,1.-'r
found all false doctrine, heresy and
Schismr
With this pious ejaculation. he turned
himself rather violently on his side and
settled into Quiescence. The clergyman
sat there q long time before the fact
dawned upon his mind that his munifcest
patron had passed finally out of his par
ish.-W. II. Babcock in Lippincotts.
-:O:-
LENTEN FARE
There was young boarder in Mich.
Who at breakfast roared loudly What?
Take it right off the table
AS quick you're able,
And don't dare gimme such Dich- -
Indianapolis Journal.
1t wouldn't be a genuine Boston statue
unless fault was found with the inscrip-
ton thereon. We always do that when Il
statue is erected in Boston. It's part of
our feISlOl.- Herald.
Says the Bluefields Nicaragua CORE
spondent of the Chicago Record: From
q native | gained the knowledge which
taught me how to catch and determine
the rank of these Nicaraguan soldiers
If he wears one shoe he is at least a
second lieutenant said the man. If he
has two shoes he is Il captain. If the
shoes are mates he is colonel If they
are mates and are laced up and knOtted
there can be no question as to his rank
brigadier-g beyond peradventure
u don't believe | saw anything more
lofty than 4 captain. New York Trib-
une.
The story is told Of a man in London
who conceived the idea of taking a long
ride into the suburbs in a motor cab.
The district to which he proposed to jour
ney was comparatively sparsely populated
and an unlikely region in which to meet
with return passengers. After the We
hicle had proceeded a short distance it