Richmond daily palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1876-1904, 1898-04-08
SHORT STORIES.
s. w. Gillian.
MTGHT INFIrENoE rHr IuRf.

Some time ago there was on trial at
the Wayne county court house, q case
In which the good name of a married
woman was involved. La the presence
of the woman and her husband shock
ing tales were told of her past alleged
indiscrefions. and both listened stolidly,
the husband particularly so. After
awhile, during a recess, two OF the in
terested spectators who knew the par
ties Interested in the case were stand
talking somewhat loudly about the
case. One said:
What if they'd bring up all them
tough stories about 'er that we all
knows truef'
My. that would be awful-that' d
IN AXE 'em squirm.n
Suddenly hitherto unnotieed figure
that had been leaning over a banister
turned slowly and the voice of the
husband himself said calmly:
You fellers he'd better be careful
what you say about my woman. Ye
might infiu nee the jewry.
A FUNERAL FALLACY.
When funeral is preached by some
one who did not know anything of the
character OF the deceased, some mis-
takes occur that are intensely ludicrcus
to the disinterested friends and neigh
bors. Usually the preacher is inno-
cent, and is imposed on by the rela-
tives who furnish fake information.
The writer knew an instance in which
the most detestably ''ornery" little
boys IN country neighborhood died
from eating some potato bugs that had
bsen scalded in in-bucket after one
OF the daily "buggings. Shortly be-
fore the bad boys death he called his
mother-for whom he had apparently
no respect-saying that he wanted a
drink. She had Pot him off a moment,
and said she would hand it to him.
The boy exclaimed pettishly:
Well, - it, come here with it!
| cant come to you'll"
The minister who preached the
funeral was instructed to the point of
saying:
That this boy was fully aware Of
his intended departure, and that he
was calm and confident as to his future
state OF happiness is shown that awhile
before his death he said earnestly and
emphatieally to his mother, You can
come to me, but | cannot come to
you.' Surely there was prophecy in
those words -
And the mourners on the front seat
wept afresh.
The coLoRED woMAN's PHILOSOPHY
They had just returned home on the
tram, from an emancipation day cele
bration in neighboring city. Jim
had been gloriously, fighting drunk,
and some one had laid one entire side
OF his face open with brick-bat or
car-iink or something equally
as effective. He was an
awful sight - limp, detected,
leaning up against wall of the depot
while his faithful wife lectured him
and sought to fasten the parts of his
severed cheek together until they
could get doctor Her lecture to the
detected relit of a glory that was mast
was in plain language and like this:
Jim. you's a mighty big fool.
Mos o. de yeah yo's all right, pro-
vidin fahiy weI but-when 'mancipa
ton, aAy aama. ku., vos - @ss.'.i
an, links yo' ki1 WEup ev'y}~6y
yo' can't do dat, Jim. Long as you
keeps foolin' wild niggahs dat hain't
20 bad. But when yo' gifts to lowin'
yo' kin clean up all the white trash
yo's fooled. Dey outnumbah us, Jim,
dey outnumbah u.s."
M'KINLEy UPHELD.
Some nays ago. on a train running
into this city. a somewhat cynical gen.
tleman. apparently a travelling man,
threw down his paper impatiently and
exclaimed impatiently:
Mckinley makes me good and
tired. He's big coward and a fool
as we'll. He is making a monkey Of
this country and ought to be i'm
peached."
No sooner had the words left his
mouth than a big fellow on the op-
posite side of the car leaped to his feet
and approached the stranger wrath
fully With voice choking in anger,
he exclaimed:
That's enough of that sort of talk.
am an employee of this government"
showing secret service badge, land
will hear no such language from any
so-called citizen, though you are un
worthy the name. ] have no power to
arrest you, but | can push your face in
il you get ri of another word of that
Sort
An old soldier in the car also came
to the defense of the President and
swlpe at the disloyal man
Another commercial traveller had also
sprung up at the same time with the
irst speaker, and was impatiently
to get shot st the GROWER,
whom be scored in good plain lam
yrage As soon as opportunity presented |
The traveller concluded that he had
struck the wrong crowd, aud without |
aDother word Immediately relapsed in |
% his paper as if be had found some
hing of absorbing interest therein.