Chicago eagle. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1889-19??, 1898-02-12
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Shelves: there are too many people
around. Life.
Hawkius-"So you sent for n doctor?
Does he think you will be out soon?"
Robbins imagine so. He said he
wished had sent for him sooner
Puck.
There's burglar In the house" she
gasped. II have never yet uncovered
my head for any man" her husband re.
Joined, with an affectation Of hauteur.
Puck.
Darling" he cried. ana threw him.
self at her feet. The naughty damsel
shivered. as in apprehension. THAT
low Princeton tacklc" she muttered,
striving to be calm.-Life.
She (reading,--"Mice are fond Of
music. and will get as close to 1t as
they can" ue-"Just cut that out and
Ill send 1t to the girl In the next
hat."-ionkers Statesman.
Recruiting Sergeant-"Do you know
anything about the drill?" Recruit
"Av coorse. Didn't OF jist tell ye Of
observation-disclosures Record.
Beginning early: Bridegroom -
where shall we go. dearest-Niagara
Falls or Washington" Bride-"we
might go to both places and see which
we like bcst."--Brooklyn Life.
Elsie-"when all the boys sing to.
gether 1t Is just charming. But why
don't you have soloists In your glee
club?" Teacher-"They prefer to dl.
vide the y."-Princeton
Tiger.
wickwire-"1 like Timmins' stories.
He has such light touch" simmins-
"fes. that's one thing In Tlmmins' IN.
vor: he rarely strikes one for more than
two or three dollars
Journal.
mfr. Grumpy" said the chronic Dor.
rover. I'm financially embarrassed
to-day. Can you help me out:" Cheer.
fully" Then Grumpy kicked his caller
Detroit Free Press.
Household Diplomacy: Eyes, I al.
ways give Dicklc magic.lantcrn ev.
cry Christmas" why do you do
thatT 1T keeps my husband ut home
for several nights trying to make II
work. Detroit Free Press.
~ never do anything by halves" re.
marked the man who was hurrying
along the street. That's all right.
mister" replied Mcandering Mike. who
had just overtaken him: - quarter or
seventy-fve cents II o."-washington
Star.
Hcnry-"Did It ever occur to- your
mind that some Of the greatest works
OF literature have been wrought out In
prison" william-"Yes: why would.
mt 1t be good Idea TO send about two
dozen Of our rising young authors to
jallT-Indianapolis Journal.
II had the worst kind OF luck In the
Klondike.' said the returned gold.
seeker. Didn't you find any goldy'
asked his friend. "Oh. yes. I found
gold. Blu, every time had three OF
q kind l was dead sure to run w
against a full house."-Puck.
Tom-"Did you give Miss Gotrox q
Christmas present." Jack-"I tried
TO. offered her myself, you know
Tom--"And she refused your" Jack
II suppose that's what 1t amounts to-
She said she didn't believe It was right
for n girl TO accept very costly gifts."-
Brooklyn Life.
do you know why II Is that so many
explorers seek the Arctic and so few
the Antarctic regions?" "Well, thinl
I could make pretty good guess.
"why?" 1.-THE Arctic regions are no,
quite so far away from the headquar
ters of the managers Of the lecture
bureaus."-Chicago Post.
Mrs. Hymen-"I am afraid you d.
not think so much of me. Charles, a,
you used to. can remember wher
you declared was worth my weight II
gold" Mr.. Hymen-"That's what
still say. but you must remember tina
you have lost at least twenty pounds
the last year."-Boston Transcript.
what sdo you think? My wife,
father told me before we got marrIet
that he would give me handsome
present on our wedding day "Ant
didn't her "Well, I waited over |
week. and as he didn't mention tn,
subject. l asked him for II; and all h
said was: why. didn't ! give you IN!
daughterT "-Philadelphia Bulletin.
"Of course" he said, redectively. "
am not making any complaint about I,
All I desire to say Is that can't under
stand It," "You can't understan
what!" inquired his wife. why ca
yoa put gilded spheres and gaudy fat
RIGS all over a Christmas tree six fee
high and four thick for seventy-iiv
: cents, when II costs at least, SIS Z
trim n bonnet four inches III diameter.
Washington Star.
Merchant presenting itemlzed state
mentI-"Look that over, Mr.. Littera
and send me a check at your leisure
And, by the way, let me congratulate
you on your marriage. must say tina
the lady Is one of the most charming
was ever my pleasure 10 meet. an
iosr,ain she mnst make You armost'eS
cellent WIFE" Mr.. Literal 1eyamin.n
statemenp--"I must confess that sh
fills the blll."--Bosron Courier.
The naughty young typewriter DIRE,
herself 10 her Iueenly height. "Georg
vermlll!on," she said, In Icy tones, IN
once could mistake your attentions :
me. Ny lawyer says ! have a beaut
ful case. Either | will sue YOU 70