Republican news item. [volume] (Laport, Pa.) 1896-19??, 1898-03-10
A TEXAN INNOCENT.
INGENIOUS NARRATIVE OF HOW HE
WAS PLAYED FORA GOOD THING.

While Looking at the Tall Buildings in New
York Everything Portable About Him
Was Carried or by Entire Strangers
Fared Even Worse In Chicago.
Alfred S. Wagner, general travelling
passenger agent Of the Texas and Pa
cif1c, has returned to Dallas from Wis.
it to st. Louis. Chicago and New York.
It was his first trip out of Texas. He
went away with look of childish in
nocence and guilelessness in his eye
and came back with the sordid, CLASSY
stare of bunco steerer or the calcu-
lating glance of burglar. He Is old
and sad and tired. He says he lived
ten years in three weeks, and when
he left he was going at the rate OF
year second. If he had stayed an
other half day he would have been
1000 years old, as they count like in
Texas
His experiences began in st. Louis.
He was standing on the corner OF
Fourth and Olive, looking around at
the big buildings, when nicely dress
ed fellow slapped him on the back and
said:
Hello, Johnnie! How are all the
boys in Fort Worth?"
That was what Wagner had been
looking for.
Go on of, now. / am from Texas,
but my name is not Johnnie. and I
am not from Fort Worth"
Where are you from-Dallas?"
That's right"
We'll, how are Cooper Mott and Bar
ney Fegan and Billie Crush and Ed
Bixby getting on?"
Wagner loosened up little and re-
ported on the condition of the celebri-
ties named.
And my old friend, Tom Kingsley.
is he still there?"
you bet!"
Il think you said your name was
Wright"
mo, sir; my name is A. S. Wagner
OF the Texas and Pacific, the old relia-
ble."
Yes, that's right. Wagner, let's go
and have something" And they did.
After talking awhile Wagner's new
found acquaintance had to meet an en-
gagement, and ALT strolled into the
Planters to see what was going on. At
the door he met youngster who look
ed at him a second and then walked
up and grasped his hand.
Hello, Wagner! When did you leave
Dallas?"
Yesterday morning."
How can Harry Hatch and Jim
Boyle and old man Starr Jones get on
without you?"
What boots 1t to tell the conversa-
tion that cost Wagner $40? 1t ought
to be enough to know that 1t did cost
him bill. vowing never to be work.
ed again, Alfred went on to New York
He had letters of introduction to some
people, but was afraid to present them,
lest they might turn out to me the
wrong people. Besides, his st. Louis
experience had made him a little shy
Of Cooper Motifs friends. On the Sec
ond day of his stay in the great me-
tropolis he was down in City Hall
Park.
Look at that man on the spire of
the Tribune building" exclaimed a
voice at his shoulder.
Wagner looked and looked long, but
he did not see the man on the spire and
when he turned around the owner of
the voice had disappeared. He strolled
around few minutes. He remember
ed that he had an engagement to meet
friend and reached for his watch.
The timepiece was gone. So he went
and bought another and kept the mat
ter silent.
Wagner believed that the next man
a dandy. He strapped his new watch
around his waist with trace chain,
secured his shoes by straps over his
shoulders, fastened his necktie to both
his vest and shirt and felt reasonably
secure. That night he went down to
a music hall to see the greatest vaude-
vile in America. AS he was leaving
one man on corner said:
May I trouble you for match,
sir?"
Wagner unbuttoned and reached in
his pocket for the match. He handed
the match, the man grabbed his right
hand while another flinched his pocket
book from his inside vest pocket. Be-
fore Wagner could recover from his
surprise both men were lost in the
crowd.
He had no adventures in Chicago,
because it is said he would not venture
out Of the hotel without an expert
enced bodyguard. This is what he says
of his trip:
II had the hottest time you ever read
about 1t was a continual whirl from
the time I left Dallas till I got back,
and / am glad to get back to place
where you can shake hands with
man without keeping your other hand
on gun or knife. My! but those
towns are warm ones. New York is
cafd m contain 600 O00 mamie I he-