New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1898-08-19


I'll never go to war and try
TO win enduring fame,
III never grasp a sword and cut
Down foemen with the same
I'll never make the poets sing
About the deeds I've done
I'll sink Golfers and I'll do
No wonders with the gun
] For when a maiden kisses me
I her all alone.
And. furthermore. | want the style
cleveland Leader.
They were taking OF cats and their fabie1 nine
lives each In the lobby OF wei-known MOTEL
| night or two ago. says The Philadelphia inquirer
Il don't know whether cats have nine lives apiece
or not" pu, in q newspaper man whose reputation
for veracity l. well established. but can swear
10 one cat that has at least two. My knowledge
was derived through personal experience. Up ~ my
house We have member OF the feline species mat
has score Of bad traits without one that Is re-
dcemlng We decided that the animal would ne
better out Of the world than in 1t. and couple of
weeks ago I determined to perform the part OF "A
good Samaritan by killing Il. | got out my best
revolver-one By the way. that carries cartridge
with "A bullet as big as the end Of your thumb
and picking up the cat. took II oVt 10 the Darn.
Here I put It on the floor. placed the muzzle OF
the weapon directly against It's head. strokei us
back to induce Il hold perfectly still, and pulled
the trigger The report could have been heard
square away while the hole the bullet tore In the
cats head looked 20 be as large as a silver hali-
dollar. Instead ~ dropping dead al my feet, now
ever the blamed animal Jumped three feet In the
air turned a couple - somersauits when she
aiishtcd again and then disappeared In the distance
AT the ra To- 90 n mile a minute az course thought
she had gone Of somewhere to die and you may
/ imagine my surprise when | opened the kitchen
door this morning and found her sitting on the
steps emaciated but as much alive as ever. She Is
with rs still and suppose always will be- for I'm
sure shall not attempt 70 get rid Of her again
AMI the remainder OF the family think that she
has earned the right to live out her allotted lives
whatever be the number
Royal Geography-Tho youthful Queen Wilhe-
NINA ~ holland some, Years ago htd mlsn.hAN'I
20 her goyorncss English lady The eoverncss as
Europe with the principal cities and natural features
indicated In the course of an hour the young culpr
Holland drawn with vastly disproportioned ter.
rltory and careful detail England was represented
! name: ireland made rather more significant:
and across the margin OF the work was written:
The actual English territory l. too limited 10 allow
details" The sentiments Of the governess are not
OF recorl.-Giarper's Weekly
Emperor William has decided to adopt the Amer-
can sacngerbund plan FOR the encouragement Of
singing Beginning next year. there will he an
annua. competition. the chief condition OF which is
that each choir taking part Will receive an unpub-
ishcd musical composition about an hour before
the contest takes place. There Will be no accom-
paulment. The Kascr's prize is a valuable Jewell
and the president Of the winning choir will be
allowed 20 wcnr It FOR year. II one choir wins
the prize three years In succession il Will become
IFS absolute property.
Mr. Carson. O. c.. addressing a jury yesterday
sail. "Gentiemen. the charges against my clients
only mares nests. which have been traced 10
their birth. ana found 20 have had neither
/ orsin nor existence" Mr.. Carson Is member OF
tho English Bar. but he sim remains an lr.shman
/ In spcech.-Uondon Globe.
Some of the applications for relief sent the
local committees by sufferers from bush fires are
strangely wordcd" says The Melbourne Argus"
Here Is m extract from one by widow: 1 have
I'm family four dairy COWS two pigs. a horse and
three children. all these being by my first husband
and two goats in fun milk and baby by my
second husband. All OF the animals lost IN
the ire "
\ Dehniton.-Tlttle IIauy-Pa. what's foregone
/ conclusion;
Pa-Anyhng that's sure to follow something else.
/ To give you illustration. II lock the
drawer OF my desk II wouldn't be twenty minutes
before your mother would break II open for the
purpose ~ finding ont what | trying TO con-
ceal.-(Clcyeanl Leader.