The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1898-05-21

Juliet-"Did you ever study the
tarsY Romeo-+Pve understudied
m."-Yonkers Statesman.
Doesn't it make kyou sad when you
mink Of the poorr' s"Why, no, not par
1cularly. 1t makes ,me mad, though,
when think Of the rich."-Indianap-
Ills Journal.
Mrs. Newed-"Was I. nervous, dear,
Turing the ceremony" Miss Spitegirl
well, trifle at first, darling, but
rot after william had said yes
Truth.
Not Spoiled by tFortune.-Anna-And
ter uncle left hertall that money! Has
changed her at ,all? Belle-No, In
ieedl She is JUST as enthusiastic as
Ver over S9-cent silk marked down
rom one-sixty.-Puck.
Precocious Juvenile-Mamma, It isn't
FOOD grammar to say after L. is 1T
His Mother-No, Georgia. Precocious
Tuvenile-Well, the letter Jcomes after
II. Which Is wrong, the grammar or
The alphabet Chicago Tribune.
Miss Antique-This ajyoung turkey!
don't believe you, sir. Butcher-It is
young turkey, mum. Miss Antique
Young! Young as compared with
what? Butcher-The pyramids er yer
OWN sweet self, mum-Harper's Bazaar.
"Maude says she doesn't care two
sents for him." 'sThat Is no sign she
does not think lot of him. Just think
how women will fight for bargains that
are marked from $3.50 to $3.4S."-In-
aianapolis Journal.
First Chappie-'T wonder now, Chol-
he, how the donkey ever came to be
nsed as the-er-emblem OF stupidity p
Second Chappie with a yawne"Don't
know, I'm sure. deah boy; must have
been before our day."-Brooklyn Life.
"It's perfectly absurd, this clamor
about our hats. People who can't see
over them would better not go to the
theater." II know; that's what I told
my husband; and he said: All right,
we won't co. and we don't."-Harper's
Bazaar.
Brown-"Ah. Smith, let me introduce
rou to Mr.. Cayley Colt. I'm sure you've
read his famous booksw Smith-"N-n-
no. I'm afraid haven't had the pleas.
ure." Brown-"Oh, Of course you have,
my dear fellow, but you've forgotten
that's it."-Punch.
A Dangerous Locality.-First Tramp
pointing to scarecrow in cornfleld,
-"Lookl Lookee therev' Second
Tramp-''Myl My! We must git out o
this, double quick. They've caught one
Of us fellows and nailed him to pole. .
New York Weekly.
Mrs. Spfiggins = 'Where's you
daughter. Mrs. Wiggins?" Mrs. Wig
gins-'She's gone to the cooking school
And that reminds me, I must 60 int
the kitchen and get supper, for shell
be as hungry as bear when she get
home."-New York Weekly.
MY dear old friend, how were 70,
able 10 acquire such an immense for
tuner "By a very simple method
"Wha. method was that" when
was poor made out that was ricl
and when got rich made out that
was poor."-Odds and Ends.
Mr.. Durham: IT have called, sir, Il
tell you that your daughter, Miss Fan
ME, and love each other very dearly
want to ask you for her," Old Mil
lyuns-"Well, you'll have to wal
l lvH ~
store now that could put you into."-
Cleveland Leader.
zone time," said the travelled board
or, II got showed In on the ROCKY
Mountains, and the only thing seven O
Us had for two days to sustain life wa
q half barrel Of picked pigs feet
"You were, indeed" said the cheerful
idiot, reduced to extremities." I'm
annapolis Journal.
Hiram Oatbin-"Them people in tn
big cities is gittin' so alfred enterpris
In that they're bound to have clea
skies above 'em ev'ry day." Ike Stub
bles-"How d. We make that out, Hi?
Hiram Oatbin-"Look at the fortune
they are payin' out fer them sky scrap
ers."-Up to Date.
"An author" said the practical lit
terateur, fought to know several Ian
guages." "Of course he ought" re
Piled his fellow-craftsman THE feel,
has been so we'll worked that there 4
no longer any use Of reading old Eng
lish books in search Of original ideas.
Washington Star.
He-"These shoemakers are prett,
well up to the vanity Of women. I hav
1t on reliable authority that they hit Of
the trick of putting smaller numbers II
J women's shoes" She-"Yes; and it
also said that the hatters are number
Ing mems hats a size higher. There!
Cincinnati Enquirer.
"Fwat's this hear about you soakin
J q Chinyman wild a brickY asked MI
Hogan. Il did," admitted young He
gan. "Niver let me hear av tn lik
again. Always br'reak brick in tw
and soak your man twice. You youn,
Americans are much too wasteful."-
indianapolis Journal.
"Will she have himY was the ques
ton they asked. ut would be vast
, Of time to answer the question" sue
gested the cynic, because it Is no
properly worded. The question shout