Lewiston teller. [volume] (Lewiston, North Idaho) 1878-1900, 1898-08-05
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said krupp. He welded, now he's set
ting up.-Cornell Widow.
"Dld you ever notice the expression
OF the face of the Venus de Milof'
oh. yes: she looks all broke up."-
Truth.
Some queer poetry has sprung up
out of this Cuban affair" Yes. Isn't
1t marvellous how war has been STAYED
off SO Observation-Disclosures North
American.
Louise coaxed her mother for an
hour before she secured permission to
accept Mr.. Widderly's Christmas gift"
"Wellr' And then he didn't send her
anything. Record.
First Poet--I am going to have my
revenge upon the editor. Second Poet
How? First Poet Tin hoarse whis-
per,-fve sent to him poem. and I've
poisoned the gum on the return epve-
lope.-London Fun.
WiIlie-Do grown people ever get
childish Mamma-Yes; In old age.
Whyi Willie-'Canse when papa was
trying to find the electric bell last night
he hollered. Button. button. who's got
the buttonT Judge.
'It Is sad" murmured the Musing
Theorizer. ito think that every man
has his price" "Yes," admitted the
Intensely Practical Worker. land 1t Is
a sad fact that half the time he can't
get it."-Cincinnati Enquirer.
II suppose classical music Is all right
In Its place." said Maud. I'm sure 1t
Is" replied Mamie; II don't care to lis
ten to 1t myself. but sometimes you
have to play 1t in order to get man
to go Observation-Disclosures Star.
Want a situation as errand boy. do
your Well, can you tell me how far the
moon is from the earth, ehY Boy
Well, guy nor, l don't know, but reck-
on 1t amt near enough TO interfere with
me running errands." He got the job.
-Ex.
Inventor--Im working on an appli-
ance that will revolutionize things in
this country II | succeed In perfecting
1t. Friend-That soI What Is III In
ventor-An airbrake that will stop a
grocery bill in half Its own length
Chicago News.
"She Is very frigid in her manner"
remarked Willie Washington. Per
haps." was the reply, but she has a
heart of gold" $50 l have been in
formed But l am tired of trying to
cross conversational Chilkoot Pass
In order to reach 1t. "--Washngton Star.
A countryman walked into news
paper Office to advertise the death of Il
relative What is your charge" he
asked Of the clerk. I'VE charge two
dollars per inch" "Oh!' said the coun-
tryman, IL can't afford that; my
friend was six feet three inches. It'd
Bits.
A vindlcatlon: "Have you anything
to sayy' asked the sheriff, as he strap
ped the murderer In the electric chair.
Il just want to point out what fools
those people were who said was born
TO be hanged" replied the criminal.
with a smile of triumph.-Philadelph
North American.
Manager--I.ook here. Mr.. Plotz. be-
lieye in realism; but don't think 1t Is
necessary to carry 1t to such extremes.
Author--What Is that? Manager
Why. In the second act Of this new
play of yours the servant is required to
oreak fifty dollars worth of bric-a-
brac every nlght.-Puck.
Brother Goudman-Ah, II grieyes me
to hear of Brother Hunkers death. We
can Ill afford to lose such men. Dea-
con Kinders--lt is great loss. but let
us take it philosophically His widow
will now probably furnish the memo
rial window that we need to complete
our set.-Cleveland Leader.
II wonder what tie reason Of mans
natural aversion to shopping Is, he
remarked. as his wife, with frown,
inspected some purchases he had made
for her. ut is "A wise provision OF ma
ture" she answered, with II sigh; lit
prevents great deal OF good money
from being wasted" - Washington
Star.
! A C,lens Falls teacher was trying to
IMPRESS on the class the lessons of
Washington's birthday, and among
other questions she asked: IF the
Southern Confederacy had succeeded
what would Washington have been the
/ father of" Twins" was the prompt
reply of one of the boys.-New YORK
Tribune
"You have called me liar shouted
the angry citizen to the offensive citi'
zen land you will live to regret that
sneech. sir" THAT jest shows the DIFF
ference in fellers,' remarked Cowboy
Bill, who happened to be present
"wben a man calls me liar, he don't
live to regret it. No, sir.-Pick-Me
/ Up.
/ She was reading In a low, thrilling
voice; when the packing begins IL
earnest 1t seems as though there coult
ne no spot on the earth's surface I'M
shaken" He reused himself from
somnolent attitude in an easy-chair
..Who wrote that. Marie? He's beer
through II. whoever he is. | wonder