The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1898-05-07
HERE AND THERE.

HERE AND slSHERE.
Got . eommodore-sare thlnEi fer Hey
IT'S s,iii within Inc hills an II doesn't pear
But When 4 comes 70 fan IN line. atbeln'
III g= ,;l 4 !, you I~tsyville amt many
An ~ we've 80 q seataan-nad -coionela
But g: who read the papers, no argied
commodore. NfIEtf
Got q soTInodore-fer 81 was bound to
An talked q hemp d Dewey. m. bout
said asss ses ss ~ no reason, nsr no honor
Addin, 70 tho colonies 80 promiseuous
Said Meyylils orte' wake Up an deal in
The lac, / sSmT %ssss was the town without
Got g commodore-eh, IL dldn't3stop with
DOZEN fnsers next day. a.reachin' fer
But We thought II heat to larry fer his.
It's aiiis policy 10 leave well enough
An though in comm years they'll likely
Heyvliles Hrsstin' easy now with 81 fer
j. W.
On The other side OF Mannington ,trav-
elers or the Baltimore s Ohio railroad
may notice a large barn. from which
the sign painters hnndlwork CLEANS
forth in all the glory of immense black
and white letters. The inscription
reads, est. Jacobs OIL Conquers Pain"
There WASH circus here In Wheeling
this week. There is war now between
this country and Spain.
The above sentences are merely 10
introduce two rural characters on the
scene. A man and his wife who came
TO see the elephant. The woman, all
eyes. was for reading the Advertise
ments, and taking In tho sights along
the railroad. Josiah, her husband, was
thinking OF the war. Before Manning
ton was hailed, she broke in on his rev.
erie by reading Of the medicine sign on
the barn, Exclusively mentioned"
above. Spelling of the letters she read:
est. Jacobs oil %conQuers pain"
Conquer Spain!" blurted out her
better half. Say Il agin' till / tele-
graph Bill Mckinley
Mandy then explained the sign. and
he a SO mad that he "'lowed It was
awful to be took In SO, and reckoned
they'd better have a care. when they
struck the city"
Visitors to the side show at the circus
here on Wednesday were struck with
the wild man OF Borneo." A circus
without a wild man from this region
might as well shake the clown. This
particular individual, acted his part as
well as could be expected Of a citizen
whose eyes first saw light in the Caro-
linas, and no iBorneo aboriglne could
have worked harder in a cage for the
same salary. The management wisely
separated the cage far from the. mad
ding crowd by @ rope, and then only
withdrew the canvas covering from the
cage at the influx Of a new crowd, this
too. only for a few. minutes. The Eth
iopian, therefore, was; given needed re-
spites to practice gnashing his teeth
and clawing at the bars OF his cage.
False teeth for tusks, andaa flowing
wig helped him out wonderfully. Wa
termelons and chickens were prohibited
from his sight, hence he wasn't handl-
capped in any way. A gentleman from
| West Liberty, who seldom misses q cir
Gus, took great delight In the wild
mans antics, but spoiled the romance
as he turned to so, by remarking:
"Pshaw! this coon Amt as good o
man from Borneo as they had last
time"
It must be a trying situation a young
man. not married over q year, finds
himself in, when he goes home after the
midnight hour hath pealed. In a condi-
tIon not compatible with that due to a
sterling member Of the church. In oth-
er words to have looked too long and
lovingly on the flowing bowl. OF course,
after he has ca%pitulated to the siren
song of the tempter and imbibed. he
thinks he can square himself with his
young wife. In theory It may be easy.
but In practice very probably the re-
verse. Such a predicament 1t was. in
which q young benedict OF the Island
discovered himself. as he sighted the
door OF his domiclle q few nights ago.
Islanders are supposed to be temperate.
have no SALOONS In the ward. and waite:
on both Sides. He, sad to chronicle.
had spent the best part Of the s%hadowy
hours on the city side OF the river, and
his legs wabbled woefully over the
bridge to the Garden Spot" The same
old story OF fumbllns with the keyhole
was repeated. His wife yelled out,
who's there?" and he mumbled back
the Indefinite Mel" Finally she let him
in. and he called forth all his diplomacy
to walk the straight and narrow path
along the hall. But It didn't go. Ex-
plantations were demanded and the
first tears after a happy honeymoon
were shed.
He tried to explain, but he had fog In
his throat. Minus tho foamy accent, he
said his trouble was paralysis OF the
legs"
"But." she cried aloud, eli It makes
you walk SO funny. how did 1t get In
your throat? And what makes your
eyes blink like an owl?"
"All paralysis, mY dear, nothing
more. I used to have It before. Its Just
an old trouble come back. Attacks me
when I'm out Late In the damp night
air. and leaves me in the morning. See
II 1t don't leave me tomorrow morn