The Pascagoula democrat-star. (Pascagoula, Miss.) 1878-1920, 1898-05-06

10 nave waded across the Mississippi
at New Orleans when that brook was
wadable, and to have been the only
survivor of the Alamo. All of these
duties, l am ashamed to say, were
shirked by my oldest inhabitant,
though in extenuation of the Alamo
neglect of duty, he claimed to have
been too old to participate in the Mex.
lean unpleasantness. Indeed, it has
been said that his extreme age during
the revolution prevented his flying
around with Paul Jones or skipping
down steps with "Old Put" But that
is evidently an exaggeration; for he
certainly received a pension for his
services to the young republic. Then
Jerry left undone many things he
should have done, If he had had a par
ticle of regard for the feelings of his
biographer. He never took out the
first patent for cotton gin, never
Travelled in the first steamboat, never
started the first newspaper in the
United States. In another way did
he fall below the conventional o. X.
standard. He should never have used
tobacco In any form, and sh0ulG never
have tasted drop Of whiskey in his
life. How delightful to be a recorder
Of such virtues! But, alas that de-
lightfulncss is not mine. lie used the
vile weed in every known form, and ii
pains me to say that instead of being
IA rare old example in the temperance
line, practice had made him perfect
In the art of sampling the ardent"
However, he never drank to excess,
and was, in literal sense, a man of
regular habits, taking his six toddies
a day regularly by the clock, instead
Of going recklessly by the sun, or get
ting "snake bitten" at every hour.
When Washington was inaugurated
Jerry first began to hope-as every
American boy since has hoped-that
he would one day be the country's ruler.
1t may be as well to mention right
here that the subject OF this sketch
never reached that goal. Since then
several other lads have been likewise
disappOinted-SO | have heard.
There was always something touch
ing in the reflection that this withered
old man, who looked, when | saw him,
as il he might be the motlcr-in-law OF
an Egyptian mummy, had once knelt,
a rosy, dimplcd boy at his mothers
knee to lisp his baby prayers. All,
but the time. A century so cventful,
SO rich in progress as to rank equal to
any two preceding centuries, had come
between that bright-eyed boy and the
wrinkled old man.
II Jerry lacked some Of the essen.
tals of first class oldest inhaDitant,
he made up for the deficiencies by his
originality and by his fame as Bene.
dick. His courtships were all anus
ing, and conducted after fashion of
his own. Sometimes the silken knot
was tied only after few days ac-
quaintance with the last object of his
alteration. AS often as he had been
married, he retained very clearly the
memory of all the Mrs. Grlstles. In
speaking OF past events, the admis-
sion of States into the Union, the rise
and fall OF Empires, he would say:
Eyes, yes; l remember that well; it
was in my third wife's lifetime;;" or
"Jim's mas lifetime" Of "my first"
or "my tlfth's," as the case may be. A
sweet and tender sort of chronology,
but with its my flrst's" and my
fourth's" rather suggestive OF news.
paper puzzle department.
Events that had shaken the world
to its center were arranged in his mind
as we find them in some abstracts OF
history, except that he substituted
Lizcr James or M'lissy's "lifetime" for
''in the reign of George w." or ''dur-
ing the First Empire"
As Jerry began to age he didn't like
to travel far in search OF bride, wait
ing sometimes a week or two for
chance to bring a marriageable lady
to his door. Once some families NOV.
ing to Texas happened to camp near
his spring for days rest, and, hear,
ing that among the number was a
lively "widder woman" Mr.. Gristle
made her acquaintance. He was nc
laggard In love, for before the movers
tents were folded for fitting the lady
had consented to renounce the pros
pect Of a home among the mesquitcs
for the certainty OF log house In thu
backwOods Of Louisiana.
Another time there was q vacanc!
in his family when the moving bust
ness was duh. This compelled him Il
go out of his usual range. AS Ger
tain Mrs. West had been recommended
for many housewifely qualities, ht
hitched up a little wagon and went
over to call. He was not acquainted
with the family, and on reaching the
place, too tired to get out OF tue
wagon, he called out 10 little, thin
voice:
4. "Hello y
i, A lady came to the door, smoothing
her hair with her hand and pulling
down the waist OF her dress.
"Good day, sir" she said; "won'