Gulf Coast breeze. [volume] (Crawfordville, Fla.) 1897-19??, 1898-09-02
MR.. BARNARD DIDN'T DO A THING.
His Name Began just Like That Of tho
Chap Somebody Was Looking For.


Chap Somebody Was Looking For.
An amusing Omaha narrative is that
OF Barnard. Barnard toldit on him.
self and seemed to feel that he was
lucky in being able to relate the ad-
venture. Barnard has some capital
and frequently makes loans on farm
property. He Is tender hearted and
would not see sparrow fall; but also
he does not care tosee his Investments
60 to pot.
Invent out into Chase county once"
be said, ''tolook after some land which
1t seemed was going to have to take
on Q mortgage. ! reached there dirty
and disreputable after long ride
through tie sand region. and, after
finding the little country hotel, broke
Immediately for barber shop. The
barber was fierce looking fellow and
he used laundry soap, as I shortly
learned. That has nothing to do with
the story-I simply mention ii as On
index to his desperate character. He
was exceedingly nervous, and in few
minutes began to regret bitterly that
/ had not gone to tinshop to be
shaved.
I" Stranger he said, as he took
small nip off my chin.
eyes. I came from Omaha"
'Omaha?' with renewed interest.
Il been sittin' up nights for man
from Omaha.
~ made some monosyllabic re-
sponse, and he nicked out three COR
nered excavation near my jaw.
"'Yes; that's what makes me ner-
vous. I'm just little bit shaky. l
amt had no sleep for FIVE nights and
days, expectin' him. You see, he's
comm out here to take my claim away
from me on o mortgage. I'm going to
kill him il see him in time.
II started in the chair and he
blamed me for the long scratch which
he made in my left cheek. wanted
10 get right out OF that chair, but was
afraid that this wild. creature might
suspect me. In lieu Of safer things,
sympathy, it seemed to me, was proper
ut this moment.
Has the fellow any right to take
your land?' I inquired.
Legally, mebbe, yes; by rights,
no, / put In six year on that ground
off an on from the barber business,
an I'm going to hang to II. I usually
have my own way. You notice I'm
the only barber in town
'Yes. But about
Three other fellers have come
here at odd times and tried. to git my
trade. One shot--two skipped me
here yet
"He said this as dispassionateiy as
q clock ticking off the seconds, and
incidentally he took about a quarters
worth Of skin of my neck.
-" I'm an honest man an good
barber, he said, AN / don't intend to
be run over. The people out here
know me an paternize me. Travelin'
men say they've heard Of my Hoffman
House shave oil over the state There!
That was your fault, not mine. You
ought to set still, I'll plaster some
soap over 1t an stop II. / don't usually
cut any one over twicet, but settin' up
waitin' fer that Omaha Teller has kind
of upset me. Mebbe you don't know
the man? Names Barn-something.
Ought to be pretty prominent over
there. I'll prominent him, though
HE had his razor right under my
chin. Il never saw the man in my
lifer I Kissed between my teeth, being
consumed with horror.
so? Well, II he ever comes out
here, as hear he is goin' to- you'll
here of a new death. I'll be here Civ.
ing the delighted public the real Hof.
man House shave years after that fell
ler's sizzled into cinders. Wait there.
want to put lie on your hair. Got
to give you the best job in the house.
And I meekly returned to my chair,
while he rubbed compound Of lard
and musk into my scalp. gave him
half a dollar and he shook hands with
me four times and insisted on know.
ing my name. / told him it was
Jones, / believe.
"From last accounts he was still
out there. He can stay there for all
I'll ever do to abridge his happiness"
The Captains Isolation.
q