The San Francisco call., 1898-06-03
THE FALL OF
 OFFICER FELL One of the Pets of the Chief in Trouble.
SENT TO THE GUARD HOUSE
AN OUNCE OF ORANGE MAKES
 TONS OF TROUBLE.
A Pathetic Tale of the Horrors of War and the Troubles of Very Jealous
 Policeman.

AS the days roll by and the muster roll of the boys in blue increases the face of Police Officer Fell grows longer and troubled signs shake the frame of the pet of one Lees, who would rejoice in the title of latter-day Sherlock Holmes.
 This particular pet of his chieftainship, like all other pets. wishes to ape the ac- tions of his lord and master and his un- bounded zeal Is daily leading him into paths more and more stony. In fact the rocky road to Dublin bears no compari- son to the crooked and stony pathway over which the feet of Fell are wearily stumbling.
 The story of the first fall of Fell has already been told in these columns, but it is so luscious that perhaps it will bear repetition On that occasion the foxy ears of the pet detected an unwonted noise: he was on the alert at once-neck tense. Like a true disciple of Lees and Holmes he followed the sound as does hound aniseseed Suddenly, with a cry of swooped upon four small offenders The boys had heard the music of changing sabers and the muffied tread of marching feet and, as is natural. gave vent to their feelings in storm of cheers. But this mighty minion of the law felt no pa tri0tism and gathered them in for dis turbing the peace. He was censured for d
 Now comes the second chapter in the tale of the "Cop of the sorrowful coun- tenance': Yesterday afternoon an itiner- ant vender of oranges, who halls from the snoreS or Naples, wended his way to- ward the tented fields overlooking the broad vista of the Pacific on one side and panorama of burial grounds on the other. He was accompanied by an ani- mated hat rack, a collection of odds and ends termed for the sake of description. a wagon, and several boxes of golden Cal lfornla oranges. As he neared the camp he halted for moment to allow the foundered hat-rack to breathe. As he dld so boy in blue took up his position just opposite The soldier looked at the oranges-they were luscious, tempting He took an inventory of the contents of his pocket and found therein a suede glove, ribbon and three hair pins The breeze brought the refreshing odor of oranges to his nostrils His mouth watered and his jaws ached. At double quick he charged on the wagon and ap- propriated the largest orange he could lay "Caramba," and numerous other things, as the son of Sunny Italy bounced on the guardian of Uncle Sam's honor. The the wagon was surrounded. captured and empted in about three seconds.
 As soon as the fracas was safely over and danger past the pet of the chief strolled leisurely along with his knuckles in his eyes. The son of Italy, seeing policeman, remembered the old adage and told his trOubleS-told them in a way that made the blood of the disciple of Lees and other great men boil and he resolved a nightly resolve. He would charge the camp of the enemy alone. Here was an open gateway to fame and laurelS such as even the mighty chief of the San Fran cisco police force had never dreamed of winning-but he reckoped without his host.
 The ornament of doorposts approached the lines and selected youth frail and fair of countenance as the victim of his of a permit, entered the camp. The boys saw what was coming and simply looked wise until he was fairly within the lines. He started in pursuit of the soldier, who ran few steps and made a sign, which might have been salute but which per hapS was not, and then unceremoniously tucked into tent. The man who is su- preme among civilians attempted to en- ter, but found his way barred by four shining bayonets. At the same moment the heavy hand of a major was laid on in' grated unpleasantly upon his ears When informed that he was under arrest for entering the camp without a permit great beads of precipitation stood on his brow and his helmet raised two inches He tried to argue the question, but it was as futile as the efforts of man to con- vince policeman that he isn't drunk when that worthy opines that he is.
 Officer Fell was given half-hour in the guardhouSe to commune with his inner consciousness upon the futility of at boys. Many of them afterward expressed given an opportunity to cradle him In a blanket and play balloon aScen sion