The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-11-22
MEDITATIONS OF Mr.. DOOLEY
On a Recent Poem BY Mr.. Rud
yard Kipling.
Chicago Journal.)

Chicago Journal)
| Il think said Mr.. Dooley eth finest
pothry in tn wurruld is wrote be that
! fri'nd iv young Hogan's, man be tn
name iv Roodyard Kipling. | see his
PONIES in TIL pa-aper, Hinnissy, an
| they'er al right. They'er all right
thin PONIES. They was wan about
scraggin' Danny Deever that done me
a Wurruld iv good. They was a la-ad
L wanst knew be tn name iv Deever
an like as not he was tn same man.
j He owed me money. Thin there was
wan that L see mintioned in tn war
news wanst in awhile-Jh' less we FIR
get tn more we raymimber That
was a hot pome, an a good wan. What
| l like about Kipling is that his PONIES
is Fright off 9Th bat He's a minyit-
man, a r-ready pote that seleps like
tn dhriver iv thruck 8, with his poetic
pants in his boots beside his bed an
him r-ready to jump out an slide down
tn pole tn minyit tn elarm sounds.
He's not such pote as Tim Scan
Ian that hasn't done anything since tn
/ siege iv Lin rick an that was 200 years
before he was BORN. He's president
iv tn Pome Supply company-fr-resh
pothry delivered ivry day at ye'er
dure. Is there an accident in a grain
| illyvater? Ye pick UP ye'er mornin'
pa-aper an they'se a pone about it
be Roodyard Kipling. De We hear iv
a manhole cover bein' blown up? Rood
yard is there with his r-ready pen:
tbs written iv Cashum-Cadi an tn book
" tn gr-reat GaZelle,
! That a manhole-coVer in anger is tin de-
grees worse than hell.
HE writes in all dialects an amy
language, plain an fancy pothry, po-
I - = I.
weight or Hnyar measurement, pOthry
FIR small parties iv eight on tin a spe-
cyalty. What's tn raysult, Hinndsy?
Most potes 1 despise. But Roodyard
Kipling's pothry is aisy. Ye can skip
through it while ye're attn breakfuss
an get a Greet idee iv TIL current
news iv tn day-who won tn futbaIl
game, how Sharkey is thrainin' FIR tn
fight, an how nanny votes tn PROXY
bitionist got FIR gov'nor iv tn state iv
Texas. No oP-storage pothry FIR Kip.
ling Ivrything fr-resh an up to date
All lays laid this mornn'.
Hogan was in today r-readin' Kip
lings F'ridah afternoon pome, an tbs
a good pOne. He calls it TIL Thruce
iv tn Bear This is tn way it hap
pened: Roodyard Kipling had just
finished his mornin' batch iv pothry
FIR tn home thrade an had ct his din
ner an was thinkin' iv' r-runnin out in
tn country FIR a breath iv fr-resh air
an an article on tn way butterine was
cuttin' into tn dairy farm Whin in
comes a tillygram sayin' that tn czar
iY Rooshia had STINT out a circular let
Their sayin' ivrybOdy in tn wurrld
ought to get together an stop maxim
war an live a quiet an dull life. Now
Kipling don't like the car Him an
the car fell out about something an
they don't speak. So says Rcodyard
Kipling to himself, he says TIL take
q crack at that fellow he says. I'll do
him up he says An so he WRITES
not on the square Kipling's like me-
Hinnissy. Whin / want to say amy
thing lib'lous [ stick it on to me Uncle
Mike. So be Roodyard Kipling. He
doesn't come Fright out an say:
Nick, we're a, liari' but he tells about
what tn car done to man he knowed
be tn name iv Muttons. Muttons, it
seems, Hinnissy, was wanst a hunter
an he wint out to take shot at tn
cz9r, who was dhressed up as a bear
Well, MuttonS r-run down an was
about to plug him whin tn czar says
'Hol on he says. 'Hol' on, there he
says, Don't shoot, he says, Let's talk
this over he says. An Muttons, bein
a foolish man, waitin till tn car come
near him an thin tn car tented with
his left an put in a Fright hook and
pulled off Muttons' face. I tell we, It's
so. He JUS hauled it off tn way ye'd
haul off porous plasther-raked off
tn whole iv Muttons' fr-ront illiyation.
I like ye'er face he says, an took 1t.
An all this time, an twas fifty years
ago, Muttons hasn't had a face to
shave. Meier q one. So he goes ar
round exhibitin' tn recent site an
warnin' people that whin they ARE
shootin' bears they must see that their
gun is kept loaded an their face is
nailed on securely. If ye iver see a
bear that locks like man, shoot him