The Press., 1898-08-04
(From the Chicago Journal.) MIR. DOOLEY EXPLAINS THE "CUBIAN" NATURE,

"CUBIAN" NATURE.
 "Well, sir," said Mir. Dooley, "confound thim Cubians. If I was Gin'ral Shafter I'd say, I want you and' I'd have thim all down at tn station an dacently booked be tn dest sergeant before the fall iv night. Tn impydince iv them!"
 "What have they been doin'?" Mr. Hennessey asked.
 "Failin' to understand our civilization" said MT. Dooley. "Ye see it was this way This is tn way it was. Gin'ral Garshy with wan hundherd thousan' mems been fightin' bravely fir two years fir to iber- yate Cuba. FIT two years he's been mar chin his sivinty- five thousan' men up an down th' island desthroyin' tn naughty Spanyard be tn millyons. Whin war was declared he offered his own sarvice an tn sarvices iv his army iv fifty thousan' men to tn United States, an while waitin' fir his tin thousan' men down to Sandago de Cuba an captured cigar facthry, which they soon rayiooced to smokin' ruins. They was holdin' this Gin'ral Garshy an his gallant wan thousan' men -whin Gin'ral Shafter arrived Gin'ral Garshy immeiitly offered tn services iv himself an his two hundred men fir tn capture iv Sandago, an when Gin'ral Shafter arrived there was Gin'ral Garship with his gallant band iv fifty Cubans re- ready to eat at a minyit's notice.
 "Gin'ral Shafter is big, coarse, two- listed man firm Michigan, an whin he sees Gin'ral Garshy an his twenty-fiv gallant followers, 'Fr-ront,' says he. This way he says, 'step lively he says, 'an' move some iv these things he says. Sir, says Ginral Garshy, dye take me fir dhray?" he says. Pm sojer,' he says, not bag gage car,' he says. I'm Cubian pathrite an I'd lay down me life an the lives iv iv'ry wan iv tn eighteen brave men iv me devoted army he says, but I'll be darn'd if carry thrunk,' he says. 'I'll fight whiniver 'tis cool, he says, 'an' they ain't wan iv these twelve men her that wud- dent follow me to hell if they was awake at tn time,' he says, but he says, if twas wurruk we we're loolxin' fir we cud have found it long ago. he says. They 'se lot iv it in this counthry that no- body usin," he says. What we want, de says, lis freedom,' he says, 'an' if ye think we have been in tn woods dodgin' tn savage corryspondint fir two years,' he says, 'fr tn sake iv r-rushin' ye'er laun- dhry home,' he says, "tis no wondher,' he says, that tn r-roads firm Marinette to Kalamazoo is paved with goold bricks bought be tn people iv ye'er Dative state, he says.
 ''So Shafter had to carry his own thrunk an well it was f'r him that it wasn't Gin ral Miles, tn weather bein' hot. An Shafter was mad clear through, an whin he took hold iv Sandago an's was sendin' out invitations he scratched Garshy. Gar shy took his gallant band iv six back to now armed with forty r-rounds iv canned lobster and' r-ready to raysist to tn death. Him an tn other man has written to Gin ral Shafter to tell him what they think iv him. an it don't take long,"
 "Well," said MT. Hennessey, "I think Shafter done wrong. He might've asked Garshy in f'r to see tn show, seein' that he's been hangin' ar-round f'r long time, doin' the best he cud."
 "It isn't that" explained MT. Dooley. ''Th' trouble is, tn Cubians don't undher- stand our civilization. Over here free dom means hard wurruk: What is tn ambition iv all iv us, Hinnissy 'Tis ayther to hold our job or get wan. We want wurruk. We must have it. Dye raymimber tn sigh tn mob carried in tn procession las' year? Give us wurruk or we perish, it said. They had their heads bate in be policemen because no philan- thropist'd come along an make thim shovel coal. Now, in Cuba, whin the mob turns out they carry 8 banner with the wurruds "Give us nawthin' to do or we perish.' Whin Cubian comes home at night with happy smile on his face he don't say to his wife an' childer: Thank Gawd. I've got wurruk at last,' He says | Thank Gawd, I've bean fred An tn childer go out am they say: 'Pah- -pah has lyest his job,' an Mrs. Cupian buys herself new bonnet, an where wanst they was sorry an despair all is happiness an a cottage organ.
 "Ye can't make people here undher- stand that, an ye can't make Cubian understand that freedom means tn same thing as pinitinchry sintince. When we thry to get him to wurruks he'll say Why should I? Ihaven't committed any crime.' That's goin' to be the trouble. The first thing we know we'll haveHanoth- CT war in Cuba, whin we begun disthri- butin' good jobs, twelve hours day, wan sivinty-five. Tn Cubians ain't civilized in our way. sometimes think Tye got a touch iv Cubian blood in me own veins."