The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1898-12-18
His onIv Prnct1cal Joke.

The apples and cider and the genial
warmth of the glowing coal fire caused
the old man TO grow reminiscent, says the
New York Sun. He placed his slippered
feet up on the fender and, whse a bright
er light came into his faded eyes, he talk
ed of the good old tines"
once, he said. and he smiled at the
recollection, Il did a very funny thing
when I was a very small boy. I think
/ must have exhausted all my genius for
fun in that one grand effort for / have
never had the heart to attempt a funny
thing since.
1T happened when l was about 10 years
old. 1 was then helping father to run the
farm, and, I suspect, we ran 1t pretty hard,
too. for the first thing 1 knew it got away
from us; but that is another story. As 1
was saying, it happened when l lived on
a farm. We had a hired man, a great
raw-boned, overgrown Irishman, as full
Of mad pranks as Peck's bad boy. He
was always playing some trick on me. One
night he placed a large thistle in my bed.
Ii was summer time and I had no I'M
derclothes on; and when / lay down on
chat thistle there was a sensation. Several
millions of them. The Irishman stood and
laughed al me until the great tears rolled
down among the red stubble on his face.
1 swore, as well as a young fellow could
swear, that l would get even with him
1 spent ali the next day studying out how
1t could be done, and by night had a plan
worked out which ] thought so good had
to go out behind the barn, where nobody
could see me, and have a good laugh over
it. Afterward l was glad had the laugh
anyway.
THAT night 1 stayed up until all in
the house except myself had gone to bed
Then l went and got mothers largest
washtub, sat it at the foot of the stairs,
and filled it with water. Next / secured
several lengths of stOpe-pipe and scattered
them at judicious distances upon the
stairs. You see, the hired man slept up
stairs. So did 1, for that matter; but,
then, he was always up an hour or more
before | was, and so, of course, he would
come downstairs first. In fact, I intend
ed that he should come down head first,
and then cool off in the tub of water.
Every part of the plan was carefully
thought out l was confident it would
work like a charm. In fancy l could see
the look of establishment that would jump
all over the the big Irishman's face when
his feet struck the stopepipes on the
stairs and his head started for the tub
of water. Then I would have the laugh
on him, and thought of the thistle pricks
and the sweetness of revenge as L eau
tiously crept upstairs to bed. 1t was
some time before 1 could get to sleep, l
felt SO good over the joke I was about to
play on the Irishman. In Imagination
1 saw him go sprawling down the stairs,
yelling like wild Indian, and I fancied
how funny he would look when he picked
himself up out OF the tub of water blow
ing like a whale and swearing like him
self.
However, I at length fell asleep. and
slept the sleep of tired boy until sud
denly I was awakened by some one wild
ly crying: Fire! fire! fret!
'I always had horrer of being burned
alive. The cry frightened me out of my
wits. I did not stop to think; but sprang
out of bed and rushed for the stairs. My
feet struck a stovepipe and started off tc
their own hook I followed, trying to gel
| ahead of them and succeeded just in time
to land head first in the tub of water
what a racket and the stovepipes
made! How the water flew in every direc-
ton! All in the house rushed to the stair
way to see what the matter was. The big
Irishman stuck his head through the oper
| door, and, seeing me standing shiverins
| in the tub of water, wearing a skinned
nose and a wet shirt, mildly inquired: Die
| we liver git left, me darint?'
| Mad? Mad is not the name for the
| state of my temper. I was raving, tear.
| ing, boiling with maniacal fury" and tbs
old man chuckled softly to himself at the
picture memory held before his eyes Of g
youth now long, long dead"