The central record. (Lancaster, Ky.) 18??-current, 1898-01-07
A BOARDING HOUSE STORY.
The Landlady Thinks She Is Brainy an4
Tries to he Erudite.

Tries to he Erudite.
Most women reach a time of life an0
stage of hard wear at which they take
refuge in being merely brainy, or being
considered so.
l had not thought that the boarding
house landlady would be attacked with
this fatal complaint, which can gen
orally be warded of by cooking and the
elementary arithmetic of the grocer's
book, but had not outlived the stay of
more than four hired girls when the
landlady fell victim to the disease.
The first sign of il was a sudden and
persistent fish diet and a pocket die
tionary in her apron pocket. She served
the soup out with the manner of the
president of Sorosis and her wrapper
began to assume a dog-eared and lit
erary air.
But circumstances were against her.
One day the table was graced by red
rose not of the calico and artificial type
that decorated the reception room,
smelling of patchouli and Haunting like
brazen woman, but a natural, sweet
smelling, and certainly ten-cent one.
Say" said the hotel clerk, "this is
gettin' Waldorfian, eh?"
II believe" said the landlady, in
feeding my boarders' souls as well as
their bodies"
The landlady's gentleman friend from
Toledo, o., launched Jumps of bread
upon his turbulent soup.
Special rates for theological stu
dents?" he asked.
II mean the intellectual SOUL" said
the landlady.
Seems to me it's only the newspaper
woman who's gettin' any good out of
this new DEAL" said the hotel clerk.
Zach individual and his special re-
quirements should be considered. Yes,
ma'am. A switchback running up
stairs for hotel clerks at night now,
landing 'em safely at the bedroom door,
would show consideration"
Pink lamp shades for the elderly
ladies'" nurmured the typewriter.
Constant supply of credulous and
frivolous young men boarders," re-
torted the elderly manicure lady, sharp
ly.
i>ou uldltO hcCuS,
said the gentleman from Toledo, D.
"Whatcher want besides an engage
ment, Rialto?"
Young Rialto Irving Wallack, the
only man in the house who possessed
a fur-lined coat, was just getting into
pose to speak lengthily when the man
who travels for ladies' neckwear said:
"a listener"
Gentlemen, gentlemen" said the
landlady, why will you spoil my little
effort to improve the intellectual at.
mosphere?"
Il believe" said theIfady student Of
nobody knows what, that we feed our
bodies too MUCH and our souls too little.
know, she continued, with the air of
one VINO had successfully collaIed the
conversation and meant to keep it,
Through experience and reading that
it ia only suffering, hunger and even
starvation that brings out the muscles
of genius. The restaurant keeper kills
what the colleges give birth to-the-"
But. according to the habit of the
boarders, when the lady student of no
body knew what collared the conversa-
ton, they one by one folded their tents
Il mean their serviettes-and silently
stole away.
In the hall the young man who trav-
eled for neckwear said cOntidentially
to the hotel clerk:
well, say, the boards gone OIL ter
ribly lately, and know one thing, Bill.
l amt goin' to be starved into bein'
genius!"
Then Bill said, as he went upstairs.
that two weeks of ship biscuit and salt
water couldn't do that.-N. Y. World.