The herald., 1898-12-21
Mr.. "BIlnker" Murphy On
The Senatorial Situation
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Say, you newspaper guys are a-swelling
yourselves with the idea that you knows
everything, but you amt on little bit"
said Mr.. "Blinker" Murphy, as he ordered
Accent white label ale all around for a
Santa Clara delegation of farmers that had
presented Charley Shortridge's cards of in
PRODUCTION in front of Ed Fay's bar at the
Grand.
"One day you writes that Waymire is
likely for to be United States senator. The
next day you says what Nose Gunst is
a-thinking of putting him on the police
force, and the following morning you denies
it and says what Waymire is not only a
has-been but 4 neverwas. 1t amt no
wonder what the people don't have no con-
fidence in the press and it's a-getting worst
and worst. Me and Coils and Herrin is the
only marks what ever tells the truth now
a-days.
you've been a-publishng what the legis-
lature is a-going to meet in January and elect
senator for to succeed White. Now,
that's where your a-fooling the people some
more. You amt got on that the legislature
is a-meeting every day at o'clock and a
baIoting and a-having a deadlock.
"What am l agetting at? Why, that.
easy. You see, General Harry and Colonel
John has been a-smoking No. 7, and they
comes to the conclusion that they is the peo-
pie and the senator's and the assemblymen.
The general he thinks he's Moses a-leadine
the anti-monops out to grass, and Colonel
John has a pipe-dream what he runs the
Red sea, and is a-soing to shake down the
dam about the time the general thinks he
sees the other bank.
"Well, them two marks has been a-cau.
| cusng every day as to how they is to do
Colonel Dan up. Here's a sample of the
ington, whose in the confidence of Harry
and John:
"'Ws are here says Colonel John, fol
to engage in the sacred duty of representing
the people and a-trusting each other while
We is in each others sight. As am the
most respectable man of us two l calls the
legislature to order. We will commence to
ballot for United States senator. Let IL,
sink our animosties for the welfare of the
state. Let us prepare our ballots
I votes for myself, says General Harry,
and l points with pride to the Midwinter
fair as reason why should have the job
"I votes for Charley FELTON,, says Col
onel John. He's the man what went to
Washington for to lobby for the sugar trust,
and he's entitled for to represent the peo.
pile, who all likes sugar
That's tie says the general, over
joyed that he'd for once made even stand.
off for the senatorship.
The chair has the deciding vote saws
Colonel John, who has been a-coaching him
self on parliamentary tactics from Colonel
Preston FELTON, is elected on joint ballot.
Unless you takes that back says the
general a-getting behind the safe, IN write
you up in my organ as a-having trapped and
buncoed' me-
"'Iu reverse myself and drop Charley if
you'll drop yourself says the colonel
a-pumping out a cartridge and a.throwing
il into the fire so as to see what effect an
explosion would have on the rest of the
legislature.
"Iemme be president pro tempoor for
a while SAYS the general.
All right, says Colonel John a.putting
another cartridge in the empty chamber Of
his gun.
Never mind says the general. you
go on and preside. / votes for Grant now
" No, you don't says the colonel Grant
told me he'd resign for me if I stood pat
and let him go to congress for year. When
| asst him if he had chewedl the rag with
you. on the same close line, he says no he
had not. All he had to do with you was to
promise that he'd get Gage for to make you
senator if Perkins was to turn up his toes
don't do no post mortem politics. I'm the
gent in this legislative caucus
" Grant has been a.giving you the ga a.
says the general, a-laughng as though one
of Herrin's gold bricks was a.sticking in his
easyphagus. He coughed up to me all
about it on the confidential. You're a
dead one.'
" I'm a dead one, am II roars the colonel