Gulf Coast breeze. [volume] (Crawfordville, Fla.) 1897-19??, 1898-07-15

nat, III we out nhu Tue tih''
We could leave them all behind us
In the race for fame sublime
SUBSEQUENT.
! Bronson-My poor old grandmother
is dead, and her parrot died the next
day.
Dailey-very strange! The poor
bird died Of grief, l suppose
Bronson--No, I killed it with a
poker.
IN THE RANKS,
Mrs. Buswick-Did your husband
occupy an important position in the
army during the civil war?
Mrs. Miswell-A very important
position. He was employed by the
Government in private capacity.
Mrs. Buswick-Indeed.
WAR SAFE GUARD.
Miss Willington-I'm glad this
trouble with Spain has come, even II
1t is going TO be rather costly.
Miss Wrightley-Why, you heart
less girl What makes you say that -?
Miss Willington-Recause hereafter
when ma gets to telling abont cum
ming things / used TO do before the
war it'll not be such complete give
away.
PREPARING FOR THE WORST.
The young naval recruit was bid
ding farewell to the friends at home,
when the old man said to him:
John, you will likely be in many
ticklish places. But il you should
happen to be killed at sea, don't let
'em bury you there, but tell 'em to
send you home. Give 'em them in
structions the moment you know that
you're killed. Don't neglect it. We
want you where we can put monu-
ment o er you and point to you with
pride I"
The young man said he d think over
il.
RUISoUs PRACTICE.
81 thought You and Horrikins
formed law partnership last week;
yet you seem to have this Office all to
yourself now %
1--WE did form a partnership, but l
kicked him out. A woman came in
the other day to consult him and he
told her she had no case, before he
had put in a single days work on it.
NOT ASrEpILUvIAS.
The Vet-I'll wager you never once
smelled the smoke of battle.
The Recruit No sir. In my time
they only used smokeless powder.
SHE THOUGHT 1T OVER
Mrs. Mishaw-You praise yourself
too much. my dear. People would
you more, and would tell
you so, If you were to cultivate little
modest reticence.
Mr.. Mishaw-There's where you
are out. l did that for years, and
nobody took any notice of me butyou.
SHATTERED ROMANCE.
Edith suppose you are getting
lovely letters from your soldier adj. |
mirer.
May-Dear me, no! He turns ont
not to have a soul above the salt pork
which he complains they are feeding
him on.
BAFFLED.
The fortune-teler excused herssl
'or minute and left the room.
III have to give it up she said
% her confederate.
what's the matter ?"
why. how can 1 lie expected to
ell the fortune Of that big gawking
dict successfully when / can't worm
my sort of tip ont of him as to the
iind of fortune. telling he wants to
lear ?"
Yes; there are many difficulties of
which we little wot or entirely wot
lot, rs the case may be.
NEPTUSE's CLEAN DOMAIN.
Fill-The sen ought 10 be pretty
lean by this time.
Jill-Why so?
DO many ships securing it"
PosTPoSrSo THE DATE. 9
First Guest-Say, don't talk so loud. 8
ones, our hostess is going to sing I
Come Day" {
Second Guest-0h, 60 and tell her G
sing next week, won't you? }
ovERDrD 1T. ,
did you find the wideawake sales a
an you advertised for ?" i
Yes, but We couldn't keen him. r
lie only business qualification he had !
as insomnia" +,
AN EXPENSIVE FLEET. e
Waggles-The various prisons are s !,
kelly to bankrupt the country. q
Jaggles-How's that q
WagSles-Wry. see they feed the s.
'fsoners on bread and water. u
HE PixEp MN =,