Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1898-11-03
THE SCIENTIST.

"Soience is mighty fine fer to study, /
guess, an maybe is useful that away, but 1t
Is rairly common sence, an that's the rea-
son I am ag'in it fer farmers, " said old
Washington Barnes one afternoon when
we sat discussing the affairs of the day,
and I had ventured the opinion that pos
sibly science had resulted in great benefit
to the farmers by the establishment Of
various government bureaus for agricul-
tural investigation.
"Science is all right, l guess, but when
they tries to run science in OH the farmers
as a valuable adjunct to farmin their ef-
forts shore makes me laugh.
81 remember this spring, long about
plantin time, I wrote to the fellor what's
in congress from this deestrict, an who I
voted fer, astin him fer to send me some
literatoore about farlnin, an some garden
seed, too, what they sends out every year
to the farmers, an he took an sent it to
this here bureau what yer talkin about,
an what dye reoken them nightshirt fell
lers what's runnin the agricultural dee
partment sent me, hey?
Stead ov somethin bout why weeyils
eats wheat instead ov weeds, err a leedle
discourse on how to kill chinch bugs, er
maybe somethin explainin why the price
ov coon pelts er wool is higher in South
Amerioky than it is here, them learned
~scientis' sent me a book bout as big as a
piece ov side meat, labeled The Prolifera-
ton ov Sphenophorus Ze9, IN the Meth
DDS Fer Their Eeradication. An the
chinch bugs eat up 20 acres ov GAVIN an
got tired an quit while l was a-chasin
round 'mong the neighbors tryin to berry
a dictionery only to find out they was them.
IAN when l opened the leedle terbacker
sack full ov seeds that come with the book,
I didn't seem to reckernize the seeds at all.
I planted them, though, fer to see what
they was, but a ground hog come along
an dug them up night an eat them, all
I found him out in the corner of the pas
tur' where he'd died before he could git
often the farm. l asst a doctor what ulster
come out here what the name OH the sack
was, Al he LATED an said they was strioh-
nine beans an SO / was glad that the
ground hog got a chanct to eat them before
I did. Natu'lly, with them experiences I
kinder looses confidence in science fer
farmers.
II dun forgot when it was, but 1t was a
long time ago, when science was kinder
new round here, that we had an epidemic
ov 1T all over this neighborhood, jes' like
we have epydemics ov measels an small
pox, an 1t like fer to spilled all the young
farmers GROWN up round here.
~ had it too, an SO did most of the 9th
or boys round. We ketched it from one Of
the new doctors up at the ~loonatic asylum
at Fulton. This here new doctor had jes'
come from a medical college er somethin
up In New York, an he shore had this
science disease bad. 1t waren't no intrust
in loonies that vas a itchin him, but it
was all a dealin with birds an SIGH. He
called it ornythology, al he shore had 1t
bad.
HE hadn't more'n got to Fulton afore
he got one ov these here breechloadin shot
guns an manoovered round over the our
try shootin birds an then he'd take an
deessect them an give their insides names
an talk science. He didn't know q mud
hen from a sparrer hawk skacely, but he
was always a-talkin about aves an primary
feathers an a-callin ov their toes talons,
an keepin it up as he did, it waren't long
before them ideas begun to spread. All
the young fellers round got to shootin
birds, all cuttin ov EN- up, when before
this new doctor came round you couldn't
git one ov EN- to even cut up a chicken
Ter the wimmen folks at home.
This here monkey business begun to
have Its effect, too, before long, an n
DAY 3 Wess comes over here with a dead
crow In his hand an a mighty serious look
on his face, an he says, seize;
wash sezze, Wash, I've made a dis
kivery that Is goin to revolutionize farm
in sezze.
"'What Is it?' l asks, all interested like,
fer, as l told you, l a ketched science
TOO.
"'Why, sezze, I've jes' diskivered that
. crow Is q much mal1gned bird, an we've
been a-lookin on 'em as our mortal enc
mics, when we orter regard 'em as auxili-
aries to husbandry, sezze, talkin like the
doctor Teller. You see, we've been a-shoot-
In crows an a pizenin ov EN- an a-skeerin
'em with skeercrows all because In
ignunce we has regarded crows as diggin
up our oawn when it's planted, an a-callin
'em robber crow, an all because we !
investigated their claims to usefulness on
this here yearth,' sezze.
"'Now, jes' look at that crows crop.
Nary a grain ov Gavin do you see. Nothin
but outworms ar weevil an %circulo; jes'
the inseo's We most fears has this poor crow
been a-distroyin an %a-devourin,' sezze. i