The mirror., 1898-09-08
Sforyef{es.

being brilliant scholar, and at school
he was usually at the head of the other
end of his class. After he became ia
NOUS, he one day dropped into the old
school to pay visit to the scene of his
former woes. The teacher was anxious
to make good impression on the writ
er, and put the pupils through their
lessons so as to show them to the best
advantage.
After awhile Scott said: "But which
is the Ounce? You have one, surely?
Show him me-
The teacher called up poor fellow,
who looked the picture of woe, as he
bashfuly came toward the distinguish
ed visitor.
care you the dunce?" asked Scott.
Eyes sir said the boy.
"Well, my good fellow said Scott,
"here is crown for you for keeping
my place m."-Detroit Free Press.
O*o
A prominent local physician was call
ed upon not long ago by farmer, who
was suffering from some slight ailment.
The doctor prescribed for it and put up
the simple remedy himself. The farm
er balanced the package on his finger
and shifted uneasily in his chair
81 want to he sure and get things
right" he said, "and not interfere with
the treatment"
"Of course" said the doctor, "but the
directions are very simple"
EYES," said the farmer, "but l want
to be sure on every point. You've told
me about eatin' and drinkin' and now
there's one other thing l want to ask
you"
"Go ahead" said the doctor.
"We,l," said the farmer, with an anx-
ious air, "Tve been in the habit of TAX
in bath bout once month or so and
/ just wanted to know if it will be safe
to keep on takin' 'em?"
"Perfectly safe,' said the doctor with
poorly concealed snort.
And the treasured patient went his
way.
O&O
The late Bishop William Ingram
Kip of San Francisco was very proud of
his aristocratic family connection. He
came from an old Dutch family his an
cestors having crossed the ocean from
Hull before this country had made
much history. Having considerable
~ Of hoinO 6onon6onf
upon his diocesan salary, the bishop
made frequent trips to Europe, and up
on his return from abroad he always
committed the indiscretion, not uncom-
mon with European travellers, of talk
ing great deal about the noble persons
he had met. 1t was "My friend Lord
This" and "My relative Lord That"
till even the bishops admirers felt rath-
er rtired. One Episcopal layman, hard
headed business man, proud of his
American birth and in love with his
democratic ideas, was especially dis
gusted "The bishop gives me a pain"
he said frankly. "Besides, he isn't on
to his job" he continued. "He seems
to know all about every lord in creation
except the Lord God Almighty"
ming Wisconsin.
An English weekly journal is re-
sponsibe for the following anecdote:
ga Birmingham physician has had an
amusing experience. The other day a
Cnn,nUhot Of Oto oH hor hrnnrhf
her daughter TO see him. The girl was
suffering from what is known among
people as general lowness.' There
was nothing much the matter with her
but she was pale and listless and did
not care about eating or doing anything
The dnctOr after due consultation, pre-
Scribed for her glass of claret three
times day with her meals. The moth
er was somewhat deaf but apparently
heard all he said, and bore off her
daughter, determined to carry out the
prescription to the very letter. In ten
days time they were back again, and
the girl looked quite different crea-
ture. She was rosy checked, smiling
and the picture of health. The doctor
congratulated himself upon the keen
insight he had displayed in his dag
nOsis of the case. I am glad to see
that your daughter is so much better,
he said yes exclaimed the excited
and grateful mother, thanks to you
doctor, She has had just what you or.
dered. She has eaten carrots three
times day since we were here, and
sometimes oftener and once or twice
uncooked and now look at herr"
O}kO
Mr. Eurastus Pinkley was very much