The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1898-07-21
Without actually departing from
the letter of the truth, it is astonishing


what different stories two thoroughly
respectable men can tell to a jury
St. Louis HumOrist.
Camara or camera, it is all one. If
Camara's fleet comes within focusing
distance, Watson will touch the but
ton and our ships will do the rest
st. Louis Republic.
Spain, says an exchange, has a larger
proportion of blind people than any
other country of Europe. This state
ment will doubtless not be questioned.
1t looks from this distance as if the PEG
pie of Spain were totally blind.-Man-
kato Free Press.
A little Harlem girl drew a picture
Of Uncle Sam chasinga Spaniard, and,
calling her mothers attention to it,
said: "The poor Spaniard oughtn't to
have but two legs, but | drew him
with six so he could get away, l feel
so sorry for him. -Tammany Times.
The prince of Wales is at an English
seaside resort taking daily plunge,
and the dear dudes on this side of the
water are denying themselves that
pleasure. They think it would be en-
tirely too pwesuming, don't We know,
for them to indulge in their daily
bawth while is 'ighness is occupying
the Ocean.-Denver Post.
If Darwin's theory that every man
is descendant of a monkey is correct.
we know some men who are not much
credit to their ancesters.-St. Louis
HumOrist.
Down to Old Point the Virginia ed
itors go, where the waves do murmur
and the breezes blow; there they'll cut
a caper and be happy all the day-no
delinquent subscribers and not devil
to pay.-Orange (Va.) Observer.
Prison Missionary-What are you in
for, friend?
Convict (bitterly)-Just for missing
train.
Nonsense"
mo nonsense, sir. l missed a train
for Montreal" -Harlem Life.
A Kansas editor reels off this start.
ling Item: Mrs. T. J. Johnson called
this morning and laid dozen eggs on
our table''
All there is in the theory that Provi-
dence is on the side of the United
States in the war with Spain is that
God helps them who helps themselves.
Spring Valley Sun.
Spain had fine assortment ofMorros
when the war began. When it ends
she will have little but a yesterday
Evening Wisconsin.
A small boy is told not to 60 in
swimming. His folks 60 to the circus
or commit some such cruelty, leaving
him at home to mind the baby. When
they return he is reading the Progress
of Pilgrims Bunions, with his hair
deliberately brushed and wearing a
look of unnatural Righteousness. He
does not run up and kiss his parents
and tell them he has been in swim
ming. He does not have to. He would
rather not lie. He would rather swim
before he would do that. But deep in
his heart he knows that he has been in
swimming, and that he wishes his
folks to believe that he hasn't. That
kind of boy is training for strategist.
He will allow fleets to sail with the I'M
derstanding that they are going to Ca
diz, and 10. they appear before Matan-
zas and hammer the lights out. He
will embark regiments for Puerto Rico
and Spain; will fortify and garrison
that island, and then he will land his
men at the Beautiful Desert of Virtue,
or Two Months, or Victory, or Pain, or
Pretty View, or Happiness, or Laurels,
or some of those picturesquely named
places and hit the enemy exactly where
he did not expect to be hit, and he will
keep on doing things like that until
the Spaniards finally take him opposite
to his word and invest their strength
in just the unlikeliest places that he
tries to make them think about. But
if we are using the talents of some
able makers of fiction, just look at
Spain.- Brooklyn Eagle.
MOVEMENTS OF OUR POPULATION
Patients undergoing treatment in
hospital, s.
Prison population July 21: Males,
499; females, 8; total, 5O7.