The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-11-16
NEGOTIATIONS OF DooLEY.
His Theory of the Function of the
Democratic Party.

p OAA4OC1 ol4C L al
Chicago Journal)
Mr. Hennessy appeared later than
usual, and wore battered and tired
appearance.
where We been, little man?" asked
Mr.. Dooley.
Down iookin' at tn rayturns," said
Mr.. Hennessy.
AN how'd they look?" asked Mr..
Dooley.
Bad" said Mr.. Hennessy. bad.
Teddy Rosenfelt's ilicted, an tn on'y
CLEAN iv hope we have is that a Swede
Dimmycrat has won out up be Minny-
soty."
"A Swede Dimmycratr" said Mr..
Dooley. IT'S onthrue. They're no
Swede Dimmycrats. Swedes comes firm
a country where tn liquor thrade's in
tn hands iv tn governint, an ivry-
body votes FIR tn administration. No,
sir. This year there ARE no Swede
Dimmycrats. TIL mans a fusion, or
WHATEVER tbs they calls him, an like
as not whin he gets into tn job twill
tou'rn out that he's a Republican with
lanin tO'rd dhrinkin' alcohol out iv a
pop bottle. If ye was as old as 1 am
but we ARE as old as l am, man alive"
I'm not" said Mr.. Hennessy. 81
was on'y 5 year old whin We swore
ye 6rSlll out ~ I'll uIId1I because ye
was over age"
Eye lie!" said Mr.. Dooley. But be
that as it may, if We raymimbered as
we'll as l do an wasn't given to flynn
up in tn air WanSt a year befure ilec-
ton day an think iv ye'ersilf goin over
at tn head iV a comfy to con-gra tulate
tn successful candydate, ye'd not take
this highly disthressin' event as a
gr-reat sorrow. We have a few good
la-ads holdin' jobs over in tn city hall,
safe firm tn winthry gales, an what
tn divvle do we care whether Teddy
Rosenfelt has bit his way into a good
thing or not? As l toll We wanst befure.
tn stronger we ar-re in Wash ngton
tn weaker we ar-re in tn ward Whin
big Cleveland was prisidint they was
tn blacklist Raypublican that liver car
rid torch swinin' tn r-red bridge. He
held me up FIR an hour comm home
firm mass wan Sundah, an wuddent
turin tn bridge. 1 rolled kag of
beer a-again him tn mex time he
passed me place.
mo, Hinnissy, tn Dimmycratic party
is not doomed to victhry. 'Tis a good
critic, but a bad actor. IT'S gr-reat to
stand in the pit an heave eggs. at Nc
Duff in tn play iv 'McBeth's Flirta-
ton but whin it gifts on TIL stage it
thrlpS over It's SOOrd on 1rgetS what 1t
intended to say, an fin'lly ends be peg
gin tn stage manager into tn bass
dhrunn. It niver gets an encore.
ITO put it tn way ye'll understand,
Hinnissy, tbs like me cousin Mike
wanst whin he was In dhrink, as he
was part iy tn time. He came along
to where a man be TIL name iv Grogan
was layin' brick There wasn't a worse
bricklayer thin Grogan between TIL
river an tn pacl1in' house, an he was
! layin' brick TIL way some men shovels
/ coal. Lave off, there, says me cousin
Mike. 'Ye're maxim show iv yeer-
/ silf an disgracin' tn noble ART iv
| bricklayin' > he says. That WALL he
says. III look like tn homeward
\ thracks iv a wake he says May
| hivin f'rgive ye he says, If we r-rent
it to anywan, he says, Err twill de-
sthroy tn poor women an childher
that moves into it, he says An he
wept. He was sintimintal man whin
/ in drink. Well. Grogan got that mad.
! Come up here he says, come up. We
gr-reat omadhon.' he says, an see if
ye can do betther,' he says An me
cousin Mike whit up. He was as good
a theoretical bricklayer as We liver see,
/ but he'd no sooner got tn trowI in his
! hands an called MORT thin along
come along a man firm Mayo he didn't
like. He dhropped tn trow'l an be-
gan sthrippin' off layers, an whin tn
polls come that Grogan called, he had
| distributed tn first sthory an was
] pluckin' at tn foundations.
$50 be tn Dinycratic party. TIL
Republicans gets into office an begins