The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1898-10-11
pH1LosopHER DooLHY
Dsseaurs on some OF the Phases of this
indian Uprising.

indian Uprising.
Chicago Journal: "Gln'ral Sherman
was wan iv 'th smartest men we iver
had" said Mr.. Dooley. "He said so
nanny bright things. Twas him said
War is hell an that's wan Nv tn
finest savln's know anything about.
War is hell 'Tis thrue wurrud an
fine slntlment
"An Gln'ral Sherman says: TN
on'y good Indyun is n dead IndEun.'
AN that's d good sayln', TOO. So, be
tn powers, we've started in ngln to
improve tn race, an X we can get In
Gatlin' guns enough befure tn winters
SHOWS wen tur-rn thin .Chlppeways In
to a clmltry branch " tn Young Mems
Christyan Association. We will so.
EYE see, Hinnissy, tn IndVun Is
bound f'r to give way to tn onward
march " white civilization. You an
me, Hinnissy, Is III white civilization.
I come along an find OIL Snakes-in-
His-Galters llvin' quiet an dacint in
q new frame house. Thinks 1; It's a
shame f'r to lave this savage man In
possession ~ this fine abode, an him
not able fr to vote an without frind
on tn polls foorce.' So, says i:
Snakes 1 says, get along says !.
4 want yer house an We best move
out west Nv tn th.acks an dig hole
f'r yerself,' says.
"Divvle tn fut will I step out. ~
this house. says Snakes. I built It an
I have tn law on me slde,' no says.
'F'r wig should take Mary Ann, an
Terence, an HonorIa, an Hobert Inn
mltt Snakes, an all me little Snakes
an rustic out west " tn thracks,' he
says. FAR rim tn bones " me an
cestors,' he says, an beyond tn
wather pipe e1tInsIon.' he says.
Because, Says ], I am tn waikiki
dIlygate " white civilization says.
I'm jlst as civilized as you, says
Snakes. 4 wear pants he says, an
plug hat, he says.
"'Ye might wear tin pairs says /.
AN all at wanst,' says, AN ye'd still
lbe n savage. says /, AN ia be civ
illZed.' SAYS. II hadn't on so much
M a bangle bracelet, says. so get
out says /. 'f'r tn PLAINLY movers is
outside r'readv to go to wurruk.' says.
well, Snakes, he fires a shtove lid
at me an go down to tn polls sta
ton an says /: Loot says, 'they'Se
drunken Indgun not votln' up near
tn mills an he's carryin' on outrageous,
an he won't let me hang me pitchers
on his WALL says ].
"'Vile savage says tn Loot, I'll
tache him to rayspict tn rules " civ
illzatIon,' he says. An he takes n
wagon load an goes after Snakes.
Well, me frind Snakes gives him bat
tie. an KNOWN tn premises well he Is
able to put up Gr-reat fight, but
afther awhile they rip him away an
have him in tn pathrol wagon with n
man settin' on his head. An thin he's
put under bonds to keep the peace, an
they sind him out west " tn thracks
and l move into tn house an tear out
tn front an start faro bank. Some
day, Whin Set tired or tn Swedes
dhfIve me ont or Standardization
makes his lunch too sthrong fr com
petition, I'll 80 after Snakes again.
TIL onF hope r. tn Indyun Is 10
put his house on rollers an keep a team
hitched to It. an wlIn no gees while
man TO start f'r III scttin' sun. He's
rooued whln he has cellar. He ought
to put oil tn plugged dollars that he
gets from tn agent an be pickin' blue
berries into roWlln' stock. II he knew
anything about balloons he'd have n
chAnst, but we white men, Hinnssy.
has all tn balloons. But. anyhow.
he's doomed. AS Hogan says. tn on
ward march ~ tn white civilization
with morgedges an other modhren en-
provements Is slowly but surely, as Ho-
gan says. chasla' him out, an tn last
w hImll be llvin' In dIyIn' bell some
where out N tn Pacific Ocean"
well" saId Mr., Hcnncssey, tho
stout phlInnthrooist. 81 thlnl, so. an
thin again. dinnaw. J don't think &c
threat thin Knight II I was IN Gov
eminent Id takc what they got, but
id say: Here tako this tin dollar bill
an 60 out an drink yoorself to death
I'd say They ought to have some
show.
'Well." said Afr. Dooley, III sc feel
that why We ought 10 sc an inllst as
an Indyun."