The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1898-07-17
The Polite Thing for Men in Lifting
Hats--TroubIe I'm Naming
New Boy.
Edward and Shirley.

Good and knowing Edward Box
Loves with maidens for to talk.
Loves 10 meet 'em heart heart
Bushels Of advice impart-
Tells 'em Of their consciences.
Souls and hearts
And other parts
Edward knows just how 1t is.
Then again there's Shirley Dare.
Tells us all about the care
We should daily give hair.
How we ought to--in the tub
Scrub and rub
And rub and scrub
Till our hearts beat rub-a-dub.
What to put upon faces
That will make us beat the graces;
Tells US that we cannot fail
To be fair as Madame Yale.
II we only spend the day
Following in the Shirley way.
sad dilemma doth present
To defeat our best intent
Would we follow Edwards drift
And our consciences uplft,
Then have no time to spare
For the edcts OF Miss Dare.
Should her disciples be
Then we have no time for he.
And it's plainly to be seen
We can't be both good and clean.
Take your choice. ye maidens fair
Edward Box or Shirley Dare
Choose between your hearts and hair
None but the good
None but the good,
None but the good
Deserve this pair.
Sarah S. Pratt.
All the men who do the polite thing in
the manner Of lifting their hats to the la
dies at this season, do it on the new plan.
AS soon as the eyes of the lady meet those
Of the gentleman, he raises his hat high
from the head and holds it there until she
mas ,, entlrely passed. It has the appearance
or the most profound respect and, besides
that, 1t gives the head a chance to cool
these hot days.
A new son arrived in a North-side family
few days ago and the parents and rela-
tives are having the usual discussion as to
what name shall be given to the little one
All the battle heroes have been recounted,
with the hope of finding one whose name
will just fit the baby and sound well with
the family name. Dewey Hobson Schley
Smarter and others have been on the list
FINALLY. one evening, the mother weary of
the whole thing, said she did not care if the
bay never had name and the father who
was anxious to have it settled and yet
wanted to please the mother had given mn
IN despair, when good uncle, who had not
said much, decided the matter by saying,
al thing II. 9. are pretty good initials.7'
father
but what do they stand for?" "Hobson's
CHOICE" of course.
A lady was sitting on her front porch one
morning watching the passers by and
among them came a friend, whom she in
Vted to share her cool position. The friend
went in and soon the subject of shoes came
up. The first lady said she could not get
what she wanted in indianapolis. What she
wanted was a low shoe with very thick
SOLE She insisted the merchants will not
carry them in stock because there is little
call for them. The visitor told her that any
one could have an extra sole put on a shoe
and that trip to Boston need not be taken
in order to have thick-soled shoe The
Iady on the porch went on to say that for
a long time, when she was first married
she always suffered with her feet in sum
mer, and 1t became so intoerable that after
she walked on hot pavement she could
scarcely bear the pain that followed
Wherever she was, she had to take her shoe
or. One day, after the pain had been worse
than usual. her husband came home with
pair of shoes having double sole He had
her try them on. They were comforta BILE
ana she told him so, but she also told him
she never could wear such heavy soles He
old not say much, but the shoes were not
TO be found the next morning. The second
day after he came home with them again
aid she discovered he had had a third sole
put on. She wore the shoes to please him
and since that time she has worn only
4
pain IN her feet Men could not stand it to
wear the paper-sole shoes that women wear
and the women would find life more en-
3urabie these hot days if their feet were
kept from the heat of the pavement by sew
eral thicknesses of Leather between their
flesh and the stone.
AS the result of d practical Joke plaved
on an unsuspecting party of people at the
EBusiness Mems Driving Park last Friday
afternoon some of the members of a certain
coterie of young people do not speak any
more. Friday afternoon a young business
man, recently married, decided to take his
wife 10 the races and procured a iaunty tran
for the purpose. The young wife thought
u would be a good plan to invite two young
women of her acquaintance, and did So 1t
happened that the two guests have two adj
mirers-young men employed down town.
who have also been great friends of the
married pair. These young fellows learned
or the contemplated trip to the races and
were dOwncast, not because they had not
been invited but for the reason they We're
not able to get off. However. they arranged
20 go out TO the park late in the evening
and on the way conceived the idea of play
ing a bright joke. The found the trap
which their friends had driven out to the
grounds and took possession of it while the
party was viewing the races from the grand
Etdiu. ! heSe iloucSoIlS youths drove about
&c park until the races We're over and then
prove 10 the city delivering the outfit at the
livery stable where it belonged.
In the meantime the young married man
with his wife and guests were greatly con-
eerned about the missing trap. At length
nc young man concluded the horse had
Broken the hitch-strap and had wandered
way. Placing his wife and her guests on
street car he sent them to the city and
6nen spent half the night searching about
ne country for stray horse and trap.
Aater on. when he turned up at the stable
&c found the missing outfit and was told
tnat IL was brought there By two young
AZURE GRAPE CREAM or TARTAR POWDER