The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1898-02-23
MILK IN THE NUT
PrelenSile Enthusiasts Hold Extra
ordinary Session.
NO TREE CLIMBING EXHIBITION
Patriotism and Responsibility the
Topics of an Interesting
Discussion.

The members of the Cocoanut Club
met yesterday in grove No. 8. The
attendance was large owing to the fact
that it was the anniversary of the
birth of General Washington. Candi-
dates for admission were not allowed
to exhibit their prehensile strength.
The Inventor of the Club was allowed
to briefly explain the nature of his
new invention. He stated that it was
method of cutting cocoanuts from
the tallest trees, by the use OF "chain
lightning" kept in storage JAR The
process was not yet perfect. When
let loose, it invariably went for CO.
coanuts and cut them down. Instead
of returning to the battery, it would
then rampage off, and often his best
chain lightning got into trouble with
the police-or rather made trouble for
them, because it did not carry Ian,
tern at night, and it couldn't be run
into the station house. He promised
to make further experiments. The
President thought that Mr.. Tim Muir
ray might put a brake ON it.
The President then stated in the
regular order of business, an essay
should be read, by the naval attache
of the Club on '"The influence of the
cocoanut on the sea power of Hawaii" :"
Admiral Miller, who is an esteemed and
h0T of a l.
ly aware of the vast maritime influence
of this nut, but was rather reserved
in expressing his views at present
owing to the political situation. He
had instantly seen, as Nelson and
Farragut would have seen, if alive,
that the ripe cocoanut is in the shape
of a round she'll, in which Nature had
provided a hole for fuse. 1t was the
natural projectile of warfare, but
| hitherto not known. 1t needed to be
properly managed-there was the rub
and it would penetrate 20 inches of
| iron.
AS the day would be devoted to patri-
| otic exercises, the essay would be
postponed. The hero of today found
| the American cocoanut empty of milk
in 1775. He filled it. (Cheers). The
true tree of Liberty was a cocoanut
| tree. Under it's shadows Tyranny could
not live. 1t got fits. (Cheers). The
| fathers" who landed on Plymouth
rock, planted other kinds Of trees, and
got treed themselves by the savage
Indians and wild bears. But Wash
| ington planted the only true tree, and
the babes of Civil and Religious liber-
| ty had sucked the milk of it's nuts, and
grown progidiousiy. (Cheers).
To-day" said the President, solemn
ly, eve put aside all other pursuits and
worship true heroism. 1 would, in
remembrance of Hawaiian tradition
offer human sacrifice today, if an in
expensive body could be obtained and
Rev. Mr.. Birnie would keep quiet
about it. (Hear, hear). l now ask the
sons of all respectable revolutionists
to join with us in our commemorative
| services"
The member from Eva, asked if the
sons of unsuccessful revolutionists
could join. Many very meritorious re,
volutionists had been left in the past
Wicked tyrants had pulled up theil
tender cocOanut trees of Liberty ant
hung the revolutionary gents to the
branches of other trees. Would the
descendants of Cromwell's men be ad
mitted? Then, there were the sons O.
the daily revolutionists of the Span
ish-American countries. Were they
eligible? Were they respectable? Wht
rated them up and stamped respecti
bility on them? (Hear).
The member from Kalihi objected
also to the word respectable"
was too aristocratic His ancestor
while conducting milk route in Bos
ton in 1880. had, like Ajax, defied tn
British lightning, but it was meal
enough to sour his milk. Now, wa
not his ancestor respectable?
The member from Wafluku waltet
to know, before he got tangled up il
the picnic, what qualifications wer
necessary. His ancestor had been sho
at by British red-coats, while he wa
skinning a pig for the supper of som
Bunker Hill patriots. Would his des
cendant be excluded? CNo! No!D H
would raise his own hand to Heaven
and say mo, by Goshr' It was sau
sage made from that pig, that CAV
strength to the muscles that pulled tn
, triggers. 1t was mathematical Ger
| tainty that hundreds of soldiers in tn
Continental Army had fired at the enc
NV for civ voarS and had porar lyi11o