Mesa free press., 1898-03-18

sure it wasn't subsequent oneY re-
piled the crusty one.
Jill-"Is Gill good judge of cigarsY
Bill-"I think he must be. He had two
last night, and he gave me one. He
must have kept the best one."- Yonkers
Statesman.
In their stateroom: Brown-"Con-
found you, you're using my tooth
brushv' Sonderhausen-"I beg your
pardon. l linked it vos re ships
Pick-Me-Up.
Jabbers-"I woke up last night and
found burglar in my room" Havers
-"Catch him?' Jabbers-"Ce Certainly
not. I'm not making a collection Of
burglars" Puck.
He-'T told your father we expected
to be married next month, and he was
Wild" She-"What did he sayY He
He wanted to know why we couldn't
make 1t next week."-Puck.
"Once friend of mine and 1 agreed
that it would be helpful for each of us
to tell the other his faults" "How did
it workY' "We haven't spoken for
nine years." Chicago Record.
Hubbard "Simpkins has got over his
nervous prostration." Pease-"H
can you tell" Hubbard-"W Why, met
him on the street last night, and he
wanted to borrow twenty dollars
Puck.
The Count-'T haf been told, mad
anne, your daughtaire hat re bad tenn
paire." The Mamma-"Ah, yes, count,
but you know she loses her temper SO
easily" The Count-"Ah, how loafly."
Detroit Journal.
cat no time," said the philosopher, sis
man so willing to take the burden
from the weak shoulders of frail wo-
man as when she is harassed with the
care Of large and paying property
indianapolis Journal.
He-"The sight of an old school-mate
is -er-well, it might be called both
meat and drink" She-"Yes, that's
what you men usually do under the cir
cumstances." He-"EhY' She-"Meet
and drink. indianapolis Journal.
"Isuppose classical music is all right
in it's place." said Maud. Pm sure it
is" replied Mamie; Il don't care to
listen to it myself, but, sometimes you
have to play it in order to get man
to go home. Washington Star.
''These shoes you sold me last week
squeak so that they keep me awake
nights" said the customer, entering the
shoe-store. "My dear sir" replied the
shoe-dealer, reassuringly, "you should
Mt sleep in them" ."-Yonkers States
man.
Valet Ito officers fiancee)-"My lieu
tenant has sent me to bring you this
bouquet of flowers plucked by his own
hands," Fiancee-"Oh, how poetic!
And how long it must have taken to
gather them!" Valet-'Indeed, miss, it
took me nearly three hours"
Clerk-"I wouldn't like to cut this
piece Of lace just for one yard, madam;
and, besides, that isn't enough to trim
anything" Shopper-"Oh! I didn't
want it for. trimming; but it's so nice
to have piece of lace about the house
as an heirloom, you know" ."1-Puck.
..Do you like being under the mistle-
toe?" he asked, tenderly, just after the
.thirty-ninth kiss. She looked into his
eyes and sighed. "All have to say"
she murmured, ''is that my last dying
wish will be to have some of it planted
on my grave" Then they resumed
Puck.
"Why has Mrs. Langdon left her hus-
band and gone back to her parents?"
"She got to rummaging through his pa
pers the other day and found the re-
ceipt for his first wifes engagement
ring. It cost twenty dollars more than
he paid for the second one."-C Chicago
News.
African Explorer (dumbfounded)-
'What, you, Clarence We're de Yere, in
the heart Of darkest Africa! What in
the world are you doing here" Clar-
ence We're de Vere-"I'm wearing the
necktie Miss Darling gave me for
Christmas. I promised her would,
YOU knOW!"-Puck.
"You have been very generous in buy
ing Mabel new gowns remarked Mrs.
Cumrox. EYES," was the reply; II
don't like that man who pays her so
much attention" 81 don't see what
that has to do with it." II desire to
give him something to think about
when 1 ask him if he can support her
in the style to which she has been ac-
.''-Washington Star.
Papa Brindle-"M Matilda, seriously
object to you encouraging the atten-
tions Of that young Spooler. He is the
most rakish-looking youth ever saw"
Matilda-"W do you mean, papa"
Papa Brindle-"Why, / mean the way
he wears his hat on one side." Matilda
-'That isn't rakishness, papa" Papa
Brindle- -"What Is it, then?" Matilda
"It's a ."-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
. 81 never saw man so cut up as old