The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1898-02-08
FLASHES OF FUN.

y
Porte-Well. neither are you.
He-I envy the man who sang the
tenor solo. She-Why, ! thought he
had very poor xoice. He-So did I.
But just think of his neryel
An Eastern editor says: Our wom-
en- are accused OF being fond Of whist
ling. Well, so be II. What is more
lovely than tulips well blownT'
Office Boy-There's a man outside,
sir. says won't you please give him 10
cents for bed? Slobson-Tell him to
bring it in and I'll take 4 look at 1t.
First Maid-Mr. Spooney has had a
miraculous escape. Second Maid
How? First Maid-He died upon the
eve OF his wedding day.-Toledo Bee.
The Wife-what a sweet smile there
is on the baby's face. joint The Hus-
band-Yes; he's probably dreaming
that he's keeping me cwake.-Tid- Bits.
He-They say iron enters largely in
to the composition of the human sys-
TEN. She-l suppose that is the rea on
n man loses his temper when he gets
hot.
The Bright Youngster.-Mamma. II
l am good will go to heaven? NAM
ma-Yes, dear. The Bright Youngster
How'll 1 get back ?-Cincinnati Tri-
bune.
John. If you don't quit referring to
me as the old woman III make you
sorry for it," What will you do, dear p
"I'll be n new woman."-Indianapo
Journal.
Miss Gabbington-Why, Mr.. Primp-
ley, you are not looking we'll Is il a
fact, as reported, that you are subject
to pains in your head? Primpley-No;
there's nothing In It,
Not Necessary Now.-Bobbie Blunt
ing-I guess that fellow must be en-
gagged TO sister at last. Willie Slimson
Why? He has suddenly stopped Civ
ing me money.'-Life.
Henry, do you believe In the uni
versal brotherhood of man?" Believe
in 1t? l should say so; down at the
seashore this summer | had thirty Il We
sisters. Free Press.
The average man." remarked the
observer of men and things, will ac-
knowledge the corn where the aver
age woman would pretend 1t was a
sprained nkle."-.Detroit Journal.
Harris-Don't you think that liking
for oysters grows upon one? Gordon
We'll, don't know. Fact is, you know
1t Is seldom one sees the same oyster
more than once.-Boston Transcript.
II am so sorry, Charles, you don't
admire my new frock. Everybody says
1t is charming" said n young wife.
Your friends, my dear, pay you com
pliments; l pay your bills" replied
her husband.
IF l should fall out of the hammock
what would you do?" she asked 81
would catch you in my arms" lie an
swered promptly. Get ready" she
said, with feminine impulsiveness.-
Chicago Post.
"A baby" remarked the observer of
men and things, may not have as
much sense as man, bu, don't imag-
Inc baby believes every woman who
comes along and tells him she loves
him. Detroit Journal.
Puritan YOUTH Sunday evening,
long ago)-Prithee, Priscilla, think est
thou 1t be truly goodly for maiden folks
10 kiss on Sunday? Puritan Maiden
/ fear not; but thou knowest we be not
married yet.-New York Weekly.
A Matter of Etiquette.-"Hicks Is
crazy about etiquette. lie saw in The
paper the other day that in the Lest
circles the wife ladies out the soup, and
he has consequently given up cup"
"WhyY ''Ic has no wife.'-Tld-B Bits.
Great Scott, Rastus! You look as IL
you had been fighting n buzz-saw."
"Yessah. / was in dat smash-up In de
Bucktown Wheelmens race" 81 heard
about that. How did 1t happenT
"Dollah fell out'n de pacemaker's peck
ct right in de middle oh de race."-Cin-
cinnati Enquirer.
Sparring Teacher-What? No more
lessons? Why, you only took two.
Amateur much tire worse for wear)-
You see. wanted to take enough les
sons so that could learn enough about
the manly art to lick n man. I've
changed my mind now. / guess / will
send the fellow down to take the rest
of the Observation-Disclosures Democrat
and Chronicle.
photographer ito sitter)-I saw you
at church last Sunday Miss Skeate.
Sitter-Oh. did you? Photographer
Yes: and also your friend, Miss Brown.
Of you could raise your chin trifie.
Thanks) And what an atrocious-look-
ing hat she had on. after a pauseD
There, Miss Skcatc. 1t Is over, and
think we have caught n very pleasant
eXpression.-Punch.