The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1898-01-19
INTERESTING ANECDOTES.
Short Stories, Personal and Pertin-
ent, TO Tell the Folks at the supper


In the gardens of a well-known noble
mans country seat in the south of Ire
land. one of the show places of the
country, painted boards We're set up in
different parts Of the pleasure grounds
with this request: please do not pun
any flowers without leave" Recently
the district practical joker passed by
that way, and observing the notice,
procured paint brush, and unub-
served, at dayhreak, added an IS" to
the last word on all the painted boards,
which had the effect of making things
pleasant until the cause was diSCOv-
cred, for tourists and strange visitors
who cherished a latent passion for
floral gems.
Christian husbands, when their dim
ner parties turn out failures, are apt
to grumble at their wives for the cooks
misdemeanors but they abstain from
the practical style of rebuking praC-
ticed by the Celcstials Recently the
Chinese professor at university gave
a banquet to fellow professors, and was
much put out because the cookery was
not to his taste. After a time he got
up, bowed solemnly and said: go
lickee wife" and departed, returning
presently, smiling as blandly as usual,
after having administered judicious
chastisement to his better half.
An old woman, whose husband was
i'll in bed, sent for the doctor who came
and saw the old ladr. II will send him
some medicine" he said on leaving,
which must be taken in a recumbent
ha 4
woman sat down, greatly puzzled.
"A recumbent posture-a recumbent
posture!" she kept reasoning. II
haven't got one" At last she thought,
Il will so and see if old Mrs. Smith
has one to lend me-" Accordingly she
went and said to her neighbor: Have
you a recumbent posture to lend me to
put some medicine in?"
Mrs. Smith, who was as ignorant as
her friend, replied. Il had one, but 10
tell you the truth | have lost it,"
A young clergyman, on being ap-
| pointed the vicar of a large parish in
an important manufacturing town,was
| called upon by a local millionaire who,
! despite his splendid fortune was the
| reverse Of cultured. When the vicar
| entered the draWing-rOom his visitor
rose from his chair, and remarked with
| some fussiness: I'm III, sir-'Ill!"
Dear mel" exclaimed his host.
| 'Pray sit down; l will ring for some
| brandy"
Thank you; but"-emphatically-
I'm ILL., sir, I'm M"
| well, my good man." said the vicar
'if you are i'll, allow me to send for
| the doctor"
Doctor? Sir, you don't understand
my names Ill, and I've brought you
a cheque for the bazar."
Carl Schurz, in campaigning a dozen
| years ago, was making speeches i'm the
west, and Eugene Field was detailed
! by a Chicago paper to accompany him.
| In small town in Michigan, no one
had been selected TO introduce the
/ speaker. Schurz and Field walked up
on the platform and were greeted with
a loud cheer, Schurz asked the news
paper man to introduce him, and Field,
ambling to the front of the platform,
| said in a very husky voice: Ladies
and shentlemens, 1 regred dot | haf
such a sore throat dot cannot address
dis evenings. ! am very sorry alretty
for dis disappointment. However, / am
] more dan pleased to tell you dot l haf