The evening times., 1898-10-11
MR.. DOOLEY.
He Shows That He Has N Good Grasp
on the Indian Question


The insight of Mr.. Dooley. who enliv-
ems the columns of the Chicago Journal,
is remarkable. He gets right at the
heart OF the Indian trouble:
"Ginral Sherman was wan iv the
smartest men we iver had" said Mr.
DooIey
He said so NANNY bright things
Twas him said: War is hell. an that's
wan iv tn finest say.n's | know amy
thing about War is hell 'Tis thrue
wurrud an a fine sintiment An Gin'ral
Sherman says: Tn on'y good Indyun is
dead Indyun. An that's a good sayin'
too. So, be tn powers. we've started In
again to improve tn race. an if we can
get in Gatlin guns enough befure tn win
ter's SHOWS, Wen turin thin Chippeways
INTO a cimitiry branch iy tn Young
Mems Christyan AsSociat tion We will So
fe see, Hinnissy. tn Indyun is bound
ir 10 give way 10 tn onward march iv
white civilization. / come along an [
IND oil Snake-in-His-Gaiters Twin quite
an dacint in a new frame house. Thinks
/: 'Tis shame fr to lave this savage
man in possession iv this fine abode. an
him not able fr TO vote. an without a
frind on tn polls foorce
SO says l: Snakes / says. get aIo. e
says /, L want ye'er house an ye b st
move out west iv tn thracks an Dig a
hole f'r ye'erself.' L says. .Divvie tn fut
Will step out iy this house says Snakes.
1 built it an have tn law on me side
he says. 'F'r why should | take NJ ry
Ann, an Terence an HOnoria. an Re bert
lmmitt Snakes an all me little Snaks s
an rustic out west iv tn thracks. he
|
sion.' he says Because. says l. I am
tn waikin' dilygate iv white civilization.
l says. I'm jist as civilized as you says
Snakes. j wear pants he says. an a
plug hat he says. 'Ye might wear tin
pairs says /. an all at wanst' / says.
AN ye'd still be a savage, says l an
I'd be civilized l says, If / hadn't on so
much as a bangle bracelet / says. SO
get OUT says l, FIR tn pianny movers is
outside r-ready TO go to wurruk, / says
We'll, Snakes he fires sthOve lid at
me. an | go down TO tn polls station an
says !: Loot / say. 'they'se dhrunken
| Indyun not votin' up near tn Mills. an
he's carryin on outrageous. an he won
, let me hang me pitchers on his wall.
says |. Vile savage. says tn Loot, I'll
tache him to rayspict tn rules iv ctvtli-
zation.' he says. An ne takes out a
;
me frind Snakes gives him battle. an
KNOWN tn premises well he's able TO put
up a gr-reat fight, but afther awhile tn y
rip him away an have him in tn pathroi
wagon with man settin on his he al.
An thin he's put undher bonds 10 keep
| tn peace an they sind him out west iv
tn thrackS an | move into tn nous an
| tear out tn front an start a faro bank.
Some day whin / get tired or tn SwedeI
| dhrive me out or Schmartzmeister makes
his lunch too sthrOng fr competition, III
go after Snakes again.
..Th' on'y hope f'r tn Indyun is 10 put
| his house on rollers an keep team hitch
| ed 10 il. an whin he sees a white man,
| to start f'r III settin' sun He's rooned
! whin he has a cellar. He ought 10 put
all tn plugged dollars that he gets IT m
| tn agent an be pickin blueberries into
| rowiin' stock II he knew anything
about balloons he'd have chanst. but
! we white men. Hinnssy. has all tn bal
I looms. But. anyhow, he's doomed, as
| Hogan says; tn onward march " IN
| white civilization with morgedges an
| other modhern improvements Is slowly
but surely. as Hogan says, chasin' him out
| an tn last iv him'u be livin' in divin'
bell somewhere out in tn Pach-ifc
/ Ocean
Well" said Mr. Hennessey. the stout
philanthropist. Il think so. an thin again
I dinnaw. I don't think we threat thin
fright II l was tn governmint I'd taker
what they got. but I'd say: Here take
this tin-dolIar bill an go out an dhrinb
ye'ersiIf to DEATH I'd say. They ought tC
have some show
well" said Mr.. Dooley. eff We feel tha
! way. We ought TO go an inlist as ar
! Indyun."