Mesa free press., 1898-11-25
z Pc aeo2ss;sx & So o.,
aaT elsSR a51lSI
~ chilRi A : Ja5s. l5sss z,-~Ss|


Clara-"Are you engaged to Douglas
for good| Gertrude-'Tt looks so. /
don't think he'll ever be able to marry
me."-Life.
He-"I know how to manage my
WIFE," She-"Why don't you, then p
He-"She's so obstinate she won't let
me. ."-Tt-Bits.
May Knott did not think Jack
would marry" DeWitt-'Neither did
he. He considered himself an i'm
mune. Puck.
lou remind me so much Of my poor,
dear first husbandw "You remind me
Oh him altogether too much, my DEAR"
Brooklyn Life.
Miss Scarf could tell of one Of the
heroes of the war who-who proposed
to me-" Young Fidgely-"Whlch WARP"
indianapolis Journal.
Customs Officer-"Anything dutia-
bleT Mrs. Browns Husband-"Noth.
ing but me. I'm a dutable husband,
you know Boston Transcript.
Ella-"Polly complains that he is
adopting Spanish tactics" Dick
"What does she mean?" Ella-"Try-
Ing to avoid an engagement" Puck.
Minnie-"At any rate, Mr.. Short is
every inch a gentleman" Mamie
'"That's why it is such a pity there is
not more Of him." m."-Indianapolis Jour-
nal.
First Citizen-"Why didn't you go to
the warp Second Citizen-"'Well, be-
tween you and me, didn't know the
Spaniards were such bad Shots
Truth.
One of the Last Straws.-First Horse
Pm afraid we're getting to be back
numbers. Second Horse-Sure! Why,
see that in Cuba even the cavalry
fought on footLPuck.
did you ever think what you would
do If you had Rothschilds income"
said Seedy to Harduppe. "No; but I
have often wondered what Rothschild
would do If he had my income."-Tit-
Bits.
Wallace-"What do you deem the
most charming age in woman?" Ferry
-"F'rom my observation, a woman of
about thirty-five is harder to get away
from than any other'-Cincinnati En-
Quirer.
In Disgrace.-T understand Susie
Smartweed was dropped from the hos
pital service in disgrace" eyes. She
used the chief surgeons best knife to
sharpen her lead pencil."-Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
Wife-"I don't believe you love me
truly" Husband-"How can you say
50, when you know adore you? Wife
-"How can a man love woman who
wears such an old, worn hat?'-Flieg-
ende Blatter.
+ The Ball Located.-"A splendid
stroke! Did you follow the ball, Cad
die?" "No'm, but l think that gentle
man with the red coat can tell where 1t
struck. l see him feelin' of his head"
-Harper's Bazaar.
Red-Handed.-"Ahw said his mother,
as she found him in the preserved cher
ries, II have caught you red-handed. |
think by the time I get through with
you you will know better" "Yes'm,"
said the little boy, 81 will. I'll use a
spoon next time."-Cincinnati En-
quirer.
Master addressing his Irish manser-
NJ
country to stay at my mothers place.
If Mr.. Dudley calls tell him that III
be back on Tuesday. Terrence-Be-
gorra, will, serr! And (after pause)
what will I be after saying to him II ne
does not call, sorr?
Barker prides himself on never say
Ing an unkind word of the absent"
"Oh, that's it, is it?'' "That's what!
What are you getting at? why,
have been wondering for long time
what it was about Barker's conversa-
ton that made it so hopelessly dull
Cincinnati Enquirer.
A vicar and his church warden are
passing in the street on a frosty morn
ing. The church warden loses his foot
ing and falls as the vicar goes by. "Ah,
Mr.. Smith," says the vicar, they say
fools walk in slippery places" so
see, sir" replies the church warden,
"but I'm blest If l can!''
"Do you see this big scrapbookF'
"Yes. What do you use 1t for? ITO
swear at, mostly. I was persuaded to
buy it to paste the daily history of the
war in, as published in the newspaper
summaries, and now the war is going
to close with that book not one-quarter
Chicago Tribune.
where's the Spanish prisoner" in
nuired the sightseer. "Oh, he's out TAX
Ing walk or going to party OF some
thing of that kind" Perhaps you
wouldn't object to going and taking
lunch with me-" "I'd like to. But
can't leave here minute. I'm his
taller r"-WaShrinptOn Star.