Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1898-01-27
5aa5lg



Elderly coquette tsentImentally)--
Yes, my dear Mr.. Assessor, love IL
eternal. Assessor (frightened)-So
perceive.-Fliegende Batter.
Friend-You are so dreadfully cross
eyed, don't see how, you can shoot
straight. Cross-eyed SPORTSMAN fire
both barrels at once.-Boston Traveller.
I'm London" said the returned tour
list. boastfully, Il appeared at court"
How much was the finer queried
his cynical friend.-Phiiadelphia North
American.
Latest from the intelligence office:
"Oh, Bridget! I told you to notice when
the apples boiled over" "Sure I did,
mum. 1t was quarter past eleven
Brooklyn Life.
'.sWhy has Splasher named his picture
British DeerY" He was afraid some
one would say that American deer
don't have legs like those Of his deer"
Chicago Record.
Inquisitive tourist lin Oklahoma
Pardon me, sir, but are you a married
man? Badly Scrodd (the stage driverl
Nope; had my hair secured Off in a
sandstorm.-P
Next time I'm going out to Beverly's
I'm going to take a camp stool with
me-" what forT Last time / went
/ sat down on little thing that turned
out to be n tea-table. Puck.
what did you think Of the great
horse show, Miss Gotham?" II think
that the presence of the horses detract-
ed very materially from the chief at
fractions of the entertainment"
att seems strange that he could plum
der great corporation like that for
years without being found out" well,
you see, the corporation was pretty
busy itself."-Chicago Journal.
John Doe-I wonder what caused
Gobang to collapse? / am told he is
Richard Roe-Yes. He sat down In a
game of poker with a man who stutter-
ed.-Puck.
Golf" remarked the young man who
Is wearisomely blase. rs one OF the
very few games that do not fatigue
me-" what is the reason for thatY
II never learned to play it."-Wash-
ington Star.
Bostonian-Is this friend that you
wish to bring to dinner much of a ra-
contour? Chicago man-Blamed II
know; but say, you'll die laughin' IL
we can get him to tellin stories.-Cleve-
land Leader.
II am afraid that actors sometimes
deceive us about the salaries they get"
remarked the mild-mannered citizen.
NO." replied the keen observer; they
may think they do, but they DON'T
Washington Star.
won't you play something, Null
lins?" asked Kilduff, motioning toward
the piano. Il hardly like to while Col.
Gore is here" rs he severe in his
criticismsY' Eyes; and he carries pis-
tol."-Harlem Life.
Brother Sontext-Well, Brother Stir
emup, will they raise your salary an
other year? Brother Stiremup-WeH, 1
don't know about another year; they
haven't finished raising it for this year
yet-Richmond Times.
HAS your Shakespeare society started
In yet, Miss JonesY Yes. We met at
Mrs. Wiggles' yesterday. Miss Matilda
Robinson read a most delightful paper
on the the Influence of Rosalind on
Dress Reform Bazaar.
Bass-I suppose you think I'm fool?
Cass-Thats what troubles me. IL
your superstition Is correct, then you
are a mind reader, and therefore you
can not be a fool; and yet-well, you
Observation-Disclosures Transcript.
.'She Is a very business-like woman"
remarked one young man. YES" re-
piled the other; "but 1 admire cling
ing nature" "Then you ought to see
her some time when she is trying to
hold on to Observation-Disclosures Star.
Mrs. Hashleigh-My husband used to
say that made the best coffee in the
world. The dyspeptic boarder-Oh! I
wouldn't dream of questioning that,
madam; but there's vast difference
between making and creating coffee
Puck.
"You will be sorry for the way you
have neglected me when am silent in
the tomb" said Mrs. Peck; think of
that" my DEAR" said Mr.. Peck, as
innocently as he could, II can not imag-
inc such n thing" -Indianapolis Jour-
nal.
did you tell that young man not to
call here any more" asked Mabels
father, severely. "N-no" "Why notT
81 didn't think that 1t was necessary.
1 don't see how he could call any more
now. He calls seven times a week.
Washington Star.
al am told" remarked Miss Cayenne.
"that you said some very clever things
last evening" "Yes," replied Willie
Wishington; at is very discouraging."
"What isT' "The surprised manner In
which everybody is talking about it,
Washington Star.
''How can I get an article In your
paper?" asked a correspondent of a
Western journal. ut all depends on the
article you want to get into our paper"
replied the editor; ''if the article Is
small in bulk, like hair brush or tea
caddy, spread the paper out upon the
floor, and placing the artic., in the GEN.
ter, wrap 1t up by carefully folding the
edges over 1t, and tie with a string.
This will keep the article from slipping
mt of tho m nor II IN tho ctbo~ ho,a