The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1898-11-10
PASSING EVENTS.
BY HANS MILLER.


can do:
Now little Hans Miller
He lay on his piller
All covered up with the clothes,
When big bedbug
Dropped down on his mug
And walked way up in his nose.
Now the sweet little Hans
With pain he did dance
And an awful cuss word he said;
But the bug did shout
II will never come out,
Now you'll have bugs in your head.''
Yours,
PETE THE POET.
Well, Pete, we accept your offer.
Just three weeks ago we quietly gave
out the information that we wanted
poet. Since that time applicants
dropped into our den so fast that we
had to construct barricade to keep
them out. They were no good. Now
Pete, we shall send you our check
book, and, in order to let the people
know that we value your services,
shall hire band to serenade you twice
a week and the privilege of taking the
office cat home with you as often as it
pleases your fancy. If this offer is not
satisfactory we might include three
months cruise in European waters on
our private yacht. We are the people,
Pete.
At the first of this month Casey
began parting his cabbage leaves in
the middle. The reason for this
change is that his head was swelling
faster than the leaves were growing.
The cruiser Maria Teresa foundered
in storm off the Bahamas Nov. 1st.
1t is becoming impossible to keep any
thing Spanish from going down.
There is one disadvantage we have
in living on printers row, and that is
our room is along side that of Casey's.
He is not only an anarchist and red
hot populist, but a survivor of the
Russo Turkish war and received a
wound in the head by an eight inch
shell while trying to dislodge the Turks
from an impregnable position. This
wound gives him great deal of
trouble. 1t causes him to have halluci-
nations, nightmares and an abomina-
BILE feeling toward royalty.
The other night he had nightmare
in which he was again on the battle
field amid dying soldiers. His vivid
recOllections of the progress Of the
battle we're so true to life that we
could hear the command of officers, the
tramp of horses feet bands playing and
the biff of that shell as it struck his
head. This brought peace, not only to
us, but Casey also.
We always had our doubts as to
what caused that pain in his head-a
pain which resembles that which is
produced by robust club when in the
hands of policeman. This settles the
question beyond doubt, and as Casey
now places his hand reverentially upon
that side of his head and mutters in an
unknown tongue, we know that he is
not trying to bring us under the in
fluence of enchantment.
Considering the number of men that
were out stumping the state, there
can't be many stumps left.
When an editor goes over his SUBJ
scription books he imagines that dead
beats are almost as plentiful as
heartbeats.
We have received a letter from one
of the boys out on parole who used to
be connected with The MIRROR staff.
He says that he is keeping step with
modern civilization and advocates ex.
pansion and holding all captured terri
tory. The treatment that he receives
is excellent. Those who find out that
he has been in prison treat him as
though he was a missionary just re-
turned from foreign land. We hope
he meets with success in his new field
of endeavor.
900.
J. w. Miracle has been appointed
postmaster at Sperry, Martin Co 1t
requires miracle to please everybody.
The assistant florist is busily engaged
nowadays in conducting experiments
in grating different kinds of vege-
tables and thus develop them to a
hirbor 1oOroo Of ouor hoforo