The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1898-06-05
EPIsTLEs TO ST. PAUL.

ET1OIk6S ~ SIs FAyku
c~~~-o-~~~-~-~~-~~~-~~~-~~~-
An early Opening Movemen mt" is threatened
over on Third street, and the merchants are
watching it with concern not unmingled with
alarm. 1t came about this way Joe Moody
work up very early on merning week ago
in the middle Of a bad dream, In which
he saw dreadful things going on down at
the store on Third street. The piping of the
new artesian well suddenly shot up in the ar
and began to sail away toward West St. Paul.
The odd thing about 1t was that it seemed
to have wings and tremendous talons aid
firmly clutched in their grasp were half
dozen Cinnamon, who had apparently been
seized In the middle Of their slumbers from
somewhere around Kaio Chow or probably
Hong Kong, and ha.ing been dragged up
through the we'll hole, were now being
yapked they knew not where They were
in various conditions of undress. One man
whom Moody particularly noticed had no
shirt on at all. They were wriggling and
squirming like so many cells when last he
saw them disappearing in the distance.
Moody remembered the Bible tale of his
early youth concerning Elijah and his trip
heavenward on a cloud of dust, and hurried
ly dressing he started for the store,
virced that something was up. The Albion
hall boy looked at him curiously as he
SWepI past oO uiu Iu6 odI y COiululSSiOu
men on Third street, for the chimes had
just struck o'clock. His first act was to
inspect the hole in the back yard from
which the Cinnamon had emerged. The hole
was all right. The piping was there. Every
thing was just the when the store
was closed the night before. Then he went
back to his office and pulling out a cigar
began to ponder upon the cause of bad
Dreams The telephone rang.
Ync ic no Rr1ft and
Cheese company! What do you want at
this hour of the morning? Eth? What?
Fifty pounds Of butter? Why. cert! Yes.
Well have 1t at the hotel before your star
boarders get down to breakfast"
He had hardly resumed his meditations
when the bell jinged again. This time the
chap at the other end of the wire wanted to
negotiate delivery daily of a goodszed
number Of the golden pots which Moody
puts up, so many to the pound, and Moody
negotiated the deal to a close.
"Chinamen some good, after ALL" he
unused as he entered the order. There was
a third jingle. and. after brief exchange of
ideas, a third order was received and re-
corded. The hands of the clock then pointed
to 6:15. When the clerk arrived dialogue
occurred which. as nearly the clerk re-
members it, ran like this:
The Early Bird-See here. 1 think we
ought to open up earlier hereafter-say half
past or o'clock. It's the early bird. my
boy, that gets the worms, and I've got three
Of 'em already this morning.
Clerk-So?
The Early Bird-Yes, so!
Clerk-You'll have the street down on US
if you revoluionize cur habits that way
The Early Bird-Can't help it, my boy.
The early worms the thing the M B. G. c.
is after. So just think this thing over Sc
riously and I'll talk with Brooks and Sta
pies That artesian we'll Is good thing
and If you see any Cinnamon along this way
treat them kindly. for we're under obliga-
tons to the Celestals hereafter
If Moody carries out his idea an early
opening movement will be the first thing con-
sidered by the newly organized Minnesota
Cold Storage company, of which Moody is
secretary and treasurer. And that's what
makes Third street anxious.
He was one of those impsh youths who
seem to contain in themselves all the ele-
ments of natural mischief. The fact that he
was clad in the uniform of district messen,
ger deprived him of one of the principal joys
of his kind and he felt obligated by his posi-
ton to pay his fare the Selby loop last
night, instead of jumping ON and beating
his ride. But he tried to soace himself for
the pleasure of which he had been deprived
by making life miserable for the conductor
He made wild bluffs at jumping off the car
He made motions as though he would like
to have the car stopped at the next crossing,
and when it stopped he paid no attention
to the conductors request to get off. And
then he made remarks about the conductors
uniform, and had something to say about his
nationality Just as the car came down to
Robert street on Fifth. the kid got inter-
ested in the buttons the conductors uni
form. They stamped with the letters in
dicating that the wearer is in the employ
of the Twin City Rapid Transit company
The kid looked hard at the buttons:
ct c. R. T. Co. he remarked aloud. ooh,
yes; 1 see: The Conductor Robs the Com
pany," and he escaped from the car in time
to save himself from having his neck wrung
"There goes Bill Houle," remarked one of
the crowd as a man passed along the lower
floor of the court house. Ever hear how
Bill lost his safe? No? Well. Bill keeps a
hotel out on the road to Little Canada and
one day he sent for to down to the
municipal court and bail out friend who had
got into difficulty.
bill came down right enough, and was
willing to go bail for the fellow. Fifty dol
lars was the bond wanted, and Bill made
bluff He didn't have any money with him,
and he said that he sorry, for he might
as well have brought along the hundred dollars
there was in his safe at home. Jim Ahern,
who was clerk then, looked very hard at Bill
ard said it wouldn't do; that cash was nee
essary. There a crowd of buns sitting
around in the room and they heard Bili's
bluff about the hundred.
THAT night. just when Bill had settled
down for his first nap there was a tremen-
dous crash down stairs in the house and he
ran down to see what was the matter. Some
Of the thieves who had heard the crack
about the hundred being in the safe had
rushed out to the place and put pound of
powder under the SAFE Bill has never been
able to get the door back on the safe since
then" The Philistine.
An Appreciative Globe Reader.
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