davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The farmer and mechanic. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 18??-19??, 1898-01-18
AN UNCONSCIOUS HUMORIsT.

From a verbatim report of a negro field
hands song.)
De parson wear a Number Twelve,
(Shout mo'ners, shoutJ
En- when he devil git him
He'll stomp de fire out!
Oh, dat fire,
Hot ez hot kin be:
Panson when o gifts dar.
Stomp it out fer me.
De parson wear a Number Twelve.
(Sinner, what 20 doomO
De devil say: You go away,
You take up too much room"
Oh, dat frei
Hot ez hot kin be;
Parson, when you gifts dar,
Sotmp it out fer me.
F. L, STANTON.
Pleasures are the commas used to
punctuate life's sad story
The farmer and mechanic. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 18??-19??, 1898-01-18

Pleasures are the commas used to
punctuate Iife's sad story
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1898-06-29
noN,T MISS THE BEST.

Many members OF the crowds that at
tend the vaudevilles at the Brad Street
Park pavilion miss the last number upon
he bin by hurry to catch the nrst car
into tho city after the performance. There
is no need Of being in any haste at all. as
tbe cars leave the park every minute until
the crowd is gone and, besides. the last
number this week is being done by Ar
nesen. a noted and royalty praised equiii-
hrist who has pleased the European au-
diences for a number OF years. and is now
for the first time touring this country
and has caused furor IN many cities ny
his startling acts.
Campbell and Reard are winners with
thc... musical cmeGy. aad Gladys 81. John
and Petite Grace have become popular
with their new songs 0nd graceful dances.
Both singers are pretty and throw Just
e-cugh chicness into their manners 10
make them very attractive.
Sam Adams continues 10 make every
body ,auxh long and LOUD
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1898-06-29
A New War Trick.

IT sec the saloons out in the mining
districts are working a great dodge,
said a mining man at the Brown TINS
morning.
Something new?" asked the clerk.
"Yes-new since the war started, any
way"
Money i'm it7'
Goodies Of IT, I'll tell you how they
do e. You see. a good many OF these
little camps have no chance 10 get the
news early, or when II happens. but
they have the same desire to yell and
get full that you have right here In
Denver. Well. I'll just tell the story
and make Il short. Those saloon men
claim TO be getting a bulletin service
from Denver-but they amt. When
ever business is duh up goes a bulletin
about $50 in the evening saying that
Sampson has sunk the whole durn Span
ish fleet. or course a crowd soon gath
ers. and in two hours time the entire
town IS full and so is the saloonkeep-
er's till. They are working that game
right along have kept track, and,
honestly according to the bulletins. the
Spanish fleet has been destroyed dozen
times" denver Times.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1898-06-29
They Talk of War and Weather.

Der clouds are getting cloudier, una
/ tink veil have some more FeIueI.
said the Slnker Man addressing sarsaI
parilla Reilly in the little restaurant.
am sorry for our soldiers when got not
umbrellas in der var. ,,,...
They carry guns" remarked Reilly
"sure IN soldiers I'm IN civil war n9q
no umbrellas, and Il rained almost all IN
DO der var make der vedder rain more
as before2' asked Sinkers. ,,,--.
"Oi think 10 does answered kellly,
"Oi remember whin the big battles were
being ~ we had condensed atmos1Aete
FOR breawfast. dinner, an supper. RAM
rain. all the time -,-
ed Sinllers. ...,...,.,-
don't know that. Yer see, IN. waters aF
the earth are raised up inter clouds.
which skate around the atmosphere an
then precipitate their waters back 10 the
"How do It do it?"
"Do WHAT" asked Reilly.
Participate der hemispere back TO der
earth" said Snkers. -,...,
"In very simple way, reihaINSu
Reilly. Yer see. when air IS suddenly
chilled. its capacity ay holding mols-
ture i'm the state av invisible ya9or la
diminished. and the eXciss OF moisture
prisint becomes visible ana IS set ire
In particles which coalesh and form ram
urDDg. n
see il an now yer do. Suppose we lahe
for example an say equal Dulks aN ar
I'm a state aV saturlzatlon az ulL' IclN
tirnper-atures ac fifteen degrees ana l3I-
ty-foive degrees were lnterhliAfu, IN, M
compound arisin out ay SIGH union Will
evidently have tn mean temperature aF
thirty degrees: but since at these tlI-
per-ature5 the wan potuon helu - -
parts av humOdity an IN Otner wan ~
sure the aggregate must CONTAIN 49,
L..
half which Is fOiye hundred. Al the re-
sultiu' temperature. however, ms poI-
ton could only sispind toor huhdIeu P5ttS'
of humOdity. ana ConseQulHuy w ~,
renee. or wan hundred parts, amounuh
ter the two hundredth part av an weight
ov air must DE precipltatcd from thg
compound mass. which. however, Wuu
not be the case wild air not intorely SAL
uratad wild the moisture. wherein tu'
amount set free wud obviously DE pIO-
portionately less dye seeF
~ IN ms argument about der var. sara
Sinkers. "You know what? we're l HN-
in now dot der var Is over poo1y 1 1
I could a Job get in der Naval ire
aYes." said Reilly. "they might hire
yer ter keep Spanish mackerel from
.swimmin' in American waters. But ye
look better as an ornament on Du'cH
iH SNow > you're commencin' again" said
Sinkers: its n wonder you don't say
my wife Is a coward. 81, -. 49,.
mo" remarked Reilly. II know she
a dabter. Yer told me that yerselt
Back up a little back up! The last las,
toime You were i'm Red Jerry's yer hest
tated so long about saying turkey. tnat
Red Jerry thought yer Just Went ~ te er
say Sampson So.
Does dot mean trow up my nat
treat2'
YES" said Reilly.
"Sempsoni' exclaimed Sinkers. Then
they bombarded Red Jerry s.-New YORK
sun
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1898-06-29
The shamrock.

Few people comparatively speaking.
are aware that the shamrock, ireland 2
national emblem. grows I'm many parts
OF the United States" said Mr. Michael
Cavasaugh OF Boston. at the Raleigh
II was out walking In the northwest
section OF Washington yesterday and
saw loads Of shamrock In one OF the
parks. II IS identically the same as that
which nourishes on the soil Of Erin.
good many people confuse the shamrock
with clover. which IL resembles consider
ably. but the shamrock can be always
told from the other by Cts small. yellow
blossom. exactly like a strawberry bloom.
This blossom puts forth five little yellow
leaves. Now the blossom Of the clover
IS either red or white. and Il is larger
and shaped differently.
1.-THE shamrock has three leaves when.
in most instances. are perfect In their
heart shape. though not always so. and
n grows luxuriantly I'm limestone regions.
The tradition that St Patrick explained
the mystery Of the Trinity by the little
flower is the common explanation Of It's
adoption as Ireland's most cherished en-
blem. Washington Post.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1898-06-29
MARRIED IN PORTSMOUTH.
The Katahdin Arrives-Her Crew sur
fer Greatly from the Heat.

NORFOLK, VA, June 2.-SpeciaL-
This morning at O'Clock Mr.. william
T. GAYLE and Miss Indie Sherwood were
quietly married az the residence Of the
brides parents, on Court street, Ports
mouth. The ceremony was performed
nv the groom s brother, the Rev. X. Flnlay
'iavle of Richmond. and was witnessed
nv numerous relatives and friends. Mr..
and Mrs. GAYLE left at 7:4O o'clock via the
Norfolk and Western railway for wash
ington.
who graduated with the highest honors
al Lexington last week, received orders
last night to report 10 the colonel com
handing the Fourth United States vol
unteer Regiment, az Fredericksburg va,
the young officer left this morning.
rhe Portsmouth syndicate is In charge
Of the books I'm the clerks Office again
to-day. and has filed claims for 100 pieces
of property. including the seventy-seVen
pieces upon which claims were filed by
Mr.. Mason from Emporla, the Ports
mouth syndicate paying the costs last
night. while Mr.. Mason did not pay until
this morning.
The Ammen ram Katahdin. arrived at
Old Point To-Day. She came from
Provincetown. Mass. Her officers pro-
fess 10 not know why she was ordered
here. and probably do not They report
that the heat IN the interior OF the
almost wholly submerged vessel r. simply
frightful and they say that they SUI
fered very much on the trip down the
coast.
The cruiser Columbia. which IS expect
cd here. has not yet arrived.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1898-06-29

once slngularly erect and majestic. In
bearing. Mr. Gladstone became within
the last few years but a shadow Of his
former self His shoulders could barely
support the weight of his massive mead,
and the whole figure had shrunk ana
grown tremulOus. IL was q very old man
who greeted me In the hall when, less
than a year ago, / had the honor or be-
ing invited 10 Hawarden-an old man In
A loose gray suit with flower IN the
buttonhole. a "billycock' hat. and one
of the famous high collars cutting into
a grizzled fringe OF beard. But, SO Tar
as could be discovered, the deterioration
was wholly Of the body; no diminuuon
OF force was visible in the eagerness with
which he attacked every subject that
came up for conversation, or IN MS vi
vacity. or in his memory. which recalled
even manor incidents OF years btlore.
The once sonorous voice was huskier,
the once flashing eye paler, and his loco
motion feebler, but otherwise ne va I'M
changed-as courtly as ever, as graciously
solicitous for his guest as omniYorous
for information, as universal in his m
terests. But his life had become simpler
and more retired, ana his activities cur
tailed. Sundry maps were necessary 10
carry him through from eight I'm the
morning till eleven al night. Still he was
putting in" between reading and writ
ing six or seven hours Of work day,
and this without any amanuensis or sec
retarlal assistance.-Collier's Weekly
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1898-06-29
THE GREATEST OUT

for tho cure OF rheumatism, neuralgia
backacLe, headche. sideache, swelling
or construction of the muscles and pain
in the limbs or joints. Dixie Nerve and
Bone Eminent IS the Best on Earth.
Dear Sirs: About a month ago. having
arranged TO go on a hunting trip, / found
myself unable 20 raise my arm, having
an attack Of rheumatism. 1 went into
your store and asked if you could helr
me out, as 1 did not want 20 be disap-
pointed. You sold me 81 bottle OF your
Dixie Nerve and Bone Eminent.
which / used freely. rubbing vigorously
with IL that night. and 7 was most agree
oily surprised when getting up the next
morning to find the rheumatism en-
tirely cured and my arm perfectly well
| am glad TO say I have had no return
of rheumatism since
I told the above 20 a friend suffering
the same way, and he tried your "D.J
Nerve and Bone Eminent and was as
sDeedily cured Very truly.
]. THOMPSON BROWN.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1898-06-29
Finding Tar River.

There is really and truly Tar river In
North Carolina. but some folk will not
believe IL. saws the New York Press. An
old Johnny Reb sends the following sto-
nv OF how the Yankees found Il;
'"When the Contederates evacuated
washington. ". c. they rolled 1000 bar
reis ~ Tar and turpentine into the river
AZ Taft's store. and two months later a
Steamboat. the Colonel Hill, with 900
Yankee prisoners going from SALISBURY 10
washington 10 be exchanged. lied up az
he wharf 10 let the boys battle. They
sffr~ed IN the tar on the bottom OF the
river and were smeared with II from
head 10 foot. When we came upon them
each man had his rations OF meat In one
hand and a small stick In the other.
scraning and greasing for dear life. Hell
~ bovsi What's the matter? I asked.
and they replied: burned II we haven
found Tar river az last; the whole bed
Is covered with pitch.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1898-06-29
Only 400 Years.

Lord Kelvin, the eminent scientist mas
not added to the mirthfllness Of the ma
lions by announcing that In four nun
dred years the oxygen now virtually free
In cur atmosphere will be used up. and
the inhabitants OF the earth VIII die or
sumo cation from carbonic acid gas.
According to the Scotchman's mathe-
mates. we are now, by cutting down
forests for fuel and otherwise destroying
vegetation which absorbs the gas and
throws out pure oxygen, and by our
fierce fires for motor purposes, with
drawing the breath OF life very rapidly,
and Unless we mend our ways and stop
interfering with the healthful processes
OF nature we shall soon be gasping for
breath. and the human race, with all the
snims.s OF this period, will disappear
from the earth. 20 be succeeded after
few millions years OF rest by better as
sortment OF creatures, who will have
more sense than 10 go about deliberately
TO incur asphyxiation.-Nebras State
Journal.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1898-06-29

am a mule But ] know my place.
Wars can't be waged without me. ITO
gress must hitch me to her car. Inc
path of glory is sure 20 he enliyened oy
my cheerful smile. When / oalk lne
march Of the cOnquerer comes 10 an emo.
When L simultaneously lift my heels ana
my song Of protest chaos IS with us once
again Men beat II e.. coax me, 1ut i re-
fuse TO part with my mulish indlVldual-
ty. When l decide 10 stop. l stop SNsn
though countless wagon trains colHut
and shatter When l Kick, l KICK. though
II be against triple arflor plate ana 3ul,
fers of solid oak. For ! am mule ana
L kn " my worth. 1 am mule ana
although i'm this land of equal rights the
mule stands no higher in popular aIiec-
ton than the horse and the nee-haWlhs
lack. there are nations where my peo-
ME are appreciated al their true worth.
Look at Spain. They know the value OF
a mule I'm that benighted land see now
they went over my cousin, killed at the
COMMANDMENT Of Matanzas. l nave no
doubt that BlancO felt that the siam VIC
tim OF red-handed war was worth ooz-
en- OF his picked veterans. People "ho
have never associated with mules cannot
appreciate them properly. That's one
great fault ] have 10 find with thls na-
ton. They don't appreciate us as th-y
should. Nevertheless. I'm glad m
mule.-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1898-06-29
THE ENGINE
JUMPED TRACK.
A Broken FIange DeraiIs a c. 4 0.
Locomotive.
THE TRACK WAS SOON CLEARED.
The Tender Jumped Into the Canal
The Engine Jumped a Frog" on
the Basin Trestle-Thc Train
men Not Hurt.

Richmonders were treated to sight
Of mechanics on a gigantic scale about
5:i5 o'clock last evening when one Of the
big "hilI' engines, No. 256 Of the c. &c o.
railroad jumped a frog on trestle
about 100 feet from the Chesapeake and
Ohio elevator and knocked things heller
SHELTER for a time.
Engineers j. w. Burke and Fireman
John Butler were in the cab and the en-
CINE was pulling a fiat car and several
"empties' from the Second-street yard
20 the Orleans station.
BROKEN "FLANGE."
When the trestle was reached broken
"hange' on one Of the engines ponderous
drivers shifted the locomotive from the
tracks.
The engine was not running fast and
Engineer Burke had time to shut on
steam and climb onto the running
board.
Fireman Butler Jared not so well,
however. AS the engine left the rails
and took a slantwise course for the cor
ner of the towering elevator, the tender
careened wildly.
JUMPED INTO THE CANAL.
Mr.. Butler accepted his chance and
jumped into the canal, whose contents
would be recognized under any alias ex-
cent water and came near meeting a
Shiny fate as a consequence. The tender
also dumped itself into the canal
The engine stopped just before IL struck
the elevator. and the damage was, there
fore confined TO the wrecked tender, the
fiat car. and the trestle. which in places
was reduced to tOOthpicks.
The prOmputude of the officials was
displayed with fine eefct on the big
crowd which gathered and cheered It's
approval. in littls while the unniured
main line was cleared. although the To-
connective. pitiful looking in its gigantic
helplessness was Lft overnight in It's
unwOnted position.
The damage will approximate $500
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1898-06-29
STRUCK AT SAN JUAN.
British Steamship AldbOrough Was in
Dangerous Position.

There arrived in port yesterday the
British steamship Aldborough, Mnich We
in the harbOr OF San Juan during the
recent bombardment. Captain Farrahe
and his crew were awakened on the
morning Of May 18th by the whizzing OF
n shot over the vessel. which lay IN the
harbor almost under the guns OF MOTTO
Castle. s......
backstays and piece of shell, weighing
about two pounds, struck the steering
gear and rolled overheard without n
1uring any one.
Many Of the proiectiles from the Amer
lean ships passed over the town, the cap
tain said. one landed four miles beEon9
san Juan. The Notifications appeared
to be little damaged by the American nre.
Captain Farrant said that he dlo not
make many inquiries "a 10 the enect 81
the attack, as ne was afraid his interest
might DE mscOnstrued in the IeeHn-
against English speaking foreigners.
II was reported that seven lives haa
been lost in san Juan. Twenty, or thirty
unexploded shells were fou"d III a''|
about the city.
The Notifications have been strength
ened by the mounting or SIX guns, ana
other preparations have been mace 10 re-
ceive another visit OF the American war
Provisions seemed to be plentiful IN
San Juan during the Aldboroughs STAY
but they were advancing IN price. Oaut.
FArrant said he believed there We're
about fifteen thousand tons Of coal there
but the authorities would not permit us
sale. as they were holding the fuel for
an emergency There was no coal nj the
other points where the Aldborough
touched Ground sugar cane was being
used 10 fire the shore plants at those
places. -
Captain Farrant saw the Spanish tor
pedo boat destroyer Terror and the troop
shin Alphonso XIII. in San Juan. The
latter had landed provisions at Ponce
and Mayaguez He saw no troops aboard
the vessel I'm San Juan. The CAPTAIN or
the Aldborough brought many pieces OF
American shells which he got in san
Juan-New York Herald.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1898-06-29
BUFFALO LITHIA SPRINGS.
Pilgrimage OF Sufferers to the wafer
ing PIace-Thc Cures Made by the

Waters.
The annual pilgrimage Of health seek
crs to Buffalo Lithia Springs, virginia
has set IN, the season at this famous
health restorative resort beginning on
June 18th and eading October LIST. MS
annual trend TO the springs dates oacA
to the discovery of the springs thein-
selves for in the early days WREN tne
medicinal powers OF the Lithia waters
first became known. whole famines Saine
from afar and camped I'm tho woods about
the springs. and remained WINE they
took a course OF the waters.
As the fame OF Buffalo Lithia water
spread and distinguished physicians az
home and abroad gave their unqualihed
endorsement OF its use in uric ACID pols-
oning, govt, rheumatism, Brights as
ease Inflammation of the bladder oys-
pepsia, nervous disorders. malaria, us
eases OF women, and other Ills or man
kind-its use became general; and while
the number OF patients who go 10 the
springs is large. it is small In compari-
son with the great number that use the
bottled waters.
The praise bestowed on these waters
by leading members Of the medical pro-
fession who have prescribed them In thelr
daily practice would seem almost extra
VACANT 10 one who was unacquMnted
with their remarkable curative PV"'t9
But the reports Of cases made usually
before associations Of physicians and
surrounded by all the safeguards OF med
zeal ethics. leave no doubt that the Bur
falo Lithia Waters are entitled TO the
name-"Nature's Materia Medica' used
so often in describing them.
Study of the. carefully written and
carefully illustrated book published by
the proprietor of the springs, Thomas +.
Goode, will prove of great benefit 10 any
one who is suffering from any of the
many diseases for which Buffalo Lithia
Water Is a cure. The book is sent free
% anyone addressing Thomas +. Goode,
Buffalo Lithia Springs, Va.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1898-06-29
CROXTON FOR COLONEL.
He is TO Command the Two Colored
BattaliOns.

Governor Tyler has decided to com com
tenant-coloneI OF the two battaliOns Of
colored troops. II was his purpose TO
make him a major in one OF the white
regiments but at the time when IL Wa
necessary TO make the appointments Ma
ior Croxton was too ill TO accept. nc
has now recovered. and is anxious TO so
10 the front.
The Governors reasons for selecting an
army officer for this position Is that the
Hull bin provides that there shall be az
least one field army officer in each resl-
ment. the intention being. evidently to
have army discipline and regulations en-
forced. Colonel Croxton will have white
Officers on his staff.
Major Shanks spent the entire DAY yes
terday at the army of the First Battahoh
of colored troops mastering In the SOL
diers. He made considerable progress
and did not have to reject anything IKE
so many men as on Monday. His an
nouncement that he wanted no one TO
submit himself for examination who Was
not willing to fight had Its effect, ana
the timid ones stayed away
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1898-06-29
GOOD WORK OF THE ST, PAUL.
She Disables the Terror on San Juan.
Vale Reaches Her Destination.

WASHINGTON. June 2S.-The Navy
Department to-day posted the following
bulletin:
Admiral Sampson reports that the
Yale arrived yesterday and discharsed
her troops.
CAPTAIN Sigsbee reports that on We'd
nesdav afternoon while off San Juan.
Porto Rico, he was attacked by Span
ish unprotected cruiser nd the Spanish
orepo-boat-destroyer Terror The Terror
made a dash which was awaited by the
ST. Paul. The St Paul hit the Terror
three times, killing one officer and two
men and wounded several others. The
Terror dropped back under cover OF the
fortifications with difficulty, and was
lowed into the harbor in a sinking condi-
ton. where she is now being repaired.
Later a cruiser and a gunboat started out
out remained under protection OF the
forts.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1898-06-29
Clothing Sacrificed.
Furnishings Sacrificed
Hats Sacrificed.
Nothing Reserved.
Profit and Loss
Not Considered.
Our object is
To dispose of Goods.
They must 90.
Mrs. Alice jaC0buS,
Administrative.

pital train Is here for the ostensible pur-
pose OF conveying the sick quickly TO
more northern hospitals. but at the same
time a number OF hospital tents are being
prepared in the camp on Tampa Heights.
This work indicates the location OF the
sick here. II, upon the arrival Of the OIL
vette. the government shows DISPOSE
ton To do such a thing. protest VIII
be made by Hon. w. b. Henderson, presl-
dent OF the State Board of Health.
Mr.. Henderson said to-day that in such
an event he would file a protest with
the authorities and ask that they utilize
the hospital they have recently erected on
Egmont Key.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1898-06-29
WAS 1T A SUICIDE?

IL may have been considered so, Tor IN
stead of cleansing the system and purify
ing the blood by using DR.. Davids 1000
Ferrated Sarsaparilla, the Best on
Earth" for all blood troubles, he neg
iected II. and hence the disease finally
killed him: 40, e.,,,-
has no superior as an Alternative Tonic.
n builds up the body by making new and
healthy tissues, and gives strength and
vIeor 10 the whole system. II is both USE
less aud criminal TO neglect taking so
valuable a remedy and certain cure, when
,,o,, can get IL at your nearest druggists
price 81 a bottle; six bottles for IS.
OWENS & MINOR DRUG CO..
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1898-06-29
Mrs. Weatherford's Musicale.

F'ifty pupils OF Mrs. Weatheri0rd $ mu-
sic classes participated in delightful
musicale at Saenger Halle last evening.
The auditorium was well filled in spite
Of the great warmth of the evening, anu
the long programme proved TO be sur
prisirgly enjoyable.
Musicians of all the ages from hve 10
twenty-five years, and mostly feminine,
PLAYED and sang to the delight of the au-
giauCe