Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1898-11-18
THE

49, - 1AAAb Il
"Maria," observed Peter Grigwell to
his better half as he decapitated his
second egg-laid in Germany-at the
domestic breakfast table, II suppose
your strongly developed feminine pro
clivities will not allow of your forego-
ing for nee in a way the delirious de-
lights Of a thorough spring cleaning?' "
"1f, Peter, in plain English, you
mean that you wish me to shirk my
duty as a British housewife by neglect
ing to clear away a twelvemonth's &C.
cumulation of CRIME and cobwebs, you
suppose correctly, retorted Mrs. Orig
well in a dry, matter of fact tone Of
voice that ought to have silenced any
average man.
But Peter had become SO a%cclimatized,
as it were, to his wife's very own style
of oratory that it had ceased to impress
him ever SO slightly.
"Twelve months accumulation! - he
cried in well feigned astonishment.
"Why, I have always labored under the
impression that the house was kept
pretty clean week in and week outl'
pretty clean, of course" returned
Mrs. Peter, with a sniff and toss of her
head, "but the carpets are not taken up
weekly. But perhaps you have been SO
absorbed in the consideration of weight
Ter matters that you have failed to no.
tice such a detail as that" This was
said in Mrs. G.'s most sarcastic vein,
but it only elected a gruff "Humph!"
from her husband, go she returned to
the charge with: "Then look at the
ceilings. You cannot truthfully deny
that they require whitening, and badly
too"
II suppose the process is inevitable"
observed Peter a trif1e YEARLY. "No
home complete without it, so to speak"
81 should think not!' exclaimed the
lady in a ringing voice of triumph.
"There is one thing I am fully de-
termined upon though" said Mr.. Orig
we'll calmly, land that is l am not 60
ing to be mulcted to the same tune as I
was last year. Dasher's bill was a par
alyzer. A few more like it would COM
pei me to undergo the process of white
washing myself"
what do you intend to do them"
asked Mrs. Grigwell in a voice as hard
as the primest cut of beefsteak.
II intend, answered Peter in a self
reliant tone, "to whitewash myself"
Eyes," observed Mrs. Grigwell
sweetly-bitter sweetly, in fact-''but
who is going to whitewash the CELL
ings?"
Peter gave his wife a penetrating
glance, having a hazy notion that she
was trying to get at him, as the saying
goes, but as she bore his gimletlike
stare without hinching he appeared
satisfied and said:
eyes, I am determined to distemper
call it that now in the bill-the
ceilings entirely myself. See?"
Mrs. Grigwell felt the situation to
be desperate indeed, but knowing from
experience gained in the past how ut.
terly futile would any attempt be on
her part to reason with the self opinion.
ated Peter, she determined to try the
effect of ridicule.
"Peter Grigwell, she said in her
most whitening manner, "you will
surely never be quite such an idiot as
TO attempt to whitewash the ceilings Of
this house?"
"Madam," retorted Mr.. Grigwell
"your remarks are in exceeding.
bad taste and ill become the wife of
! farseeing husband whose sole intent
8 the welfare Of his family and to pre-.
them from being plundered by
'apacious ~distempering demons"
"You will find that your silly fad
Will cost you dear in the end" retorted
Mrs. Grigwell, with a derisive laugh.
"Bosh!' said Peter holly. "That's
ust the way-but, there, what's the
'se of arguing with a woman? Lemme
ee, today is Wednesday. 1 shall make
start with this room tomorrow at 10
You hear, Maria, at 10 O'Clock"
Peter spent the remainder Of the fore
loon in getting together all the old
in the house, and with the
i'd of a large lobster tin full of paste,
brush and a pair Of garden shears he
ashioned from several Of the broad
heets mysterious looking things bear
ng a weird resemblance to Unfortunately
oomy trousers and an expansive coat
nth balloonlike sleeves.
Next morning Peter was up in good
lme and set about mixing his white.
1ash in a zinc bucket, so as to be in
sadness for his work as soon as break
ast was out Of the way. By 10 o'clock
he course was clear for Peter to COM
renee his wrestle with the distemper
He, with calm p~oliteness, re.
1ested that he might be left alone, as
required no assistance and the whole
hing would be done within an hour.
Ire. Grigwell gave her husband a pity.
q look, then silently left him to his
vn devious devices.
Then Peter set to WORK in desperate
'rnest. With a numbes Of newspapers
~enshrouded the various articles Of
rniture, then spread a further guam
~ all over tho carpet. Next he pro.
eded t. invest the walls with the or.
r Of the paper collar, as one might