The Republican journal. [volume] (Belfast, Me.) 1829-current, 1898-05-05
The Congressman and the Lobsters.

Mr.. X. found himself a servant of the
people after the last general election. He
turned up at Washington as the represen-
tative of Congressional district of his
native State-a State far removed from
the seaboard. The knowledge possessed
by Congressman \. concerning things of
the watery and mysterious deep was at
this time limited. Blindfolded and sealed
| in the darkest subcellar that ever yawn-
ed, Congressman y. could have distin-
gushed red ear Of corn from white
one. but with his best Spectacles he could
not have told dolphin from a marline-
spike.
1t was during his first week at tn capt.
tai. He reached his hotel late, and he
was tired and hungry. He determined to
have his dinner served in his room, and
rang for the waiter. He turned to the
sea food on the bill of fare, attracted no
doubt by its comparative novelty. Oysters
he knew, thanks to the activity of the
Baltimore packers and the cheapness with
which square cornered tin cans are pro-
duced. CLANS were also within his ken.
Experience had shown him, as it has
others, that a dozen of either of these is no
such unreasonable number for consump-
ton at one sitting. He would have
dozen oysters. "Water," he began. I'm
lucky moment! His wandering eye caught
the word 'slobster.'' Now with this fruit
of the sea he had no personal acquaint-
ance. But analogy, and an underlined
general idea, pointed to it as being very
like an oyster or a clam. ''Water bring
me dozen lobsters.''
''Sah?" returned the astonshed waiter.
II said you may bring me a do zen
lobsters.''
Eyes, sab. I-ah-sah-'
''Well, what is the matter? Don't you
understand?''
ooh, yes, sab; understand, sab. But
it IA large ordeh, sah.''
Large order, is itr' exclaimed Con-
gresham x, with some warmth. ''Well,
don t. you think | can pay for it? Got to
give references before | get my supper,
ebo''
The terrified waiter fled, calling out as
he did 50, ''Fetch yo' ordeh right up,
sahn' while the Congressman sank back
in his chair and unused of what the heavi-
er courses of his dinner should consist
In due time the door opens and enter
the waiter, and with him three other be-
ings like unto himself: each bears aloft
tray on which repose three Holsters, red
as the morning.
Congressman \. was on the point of
crying out in CONSERVATION when he
caught triumphant expression on the
face of the original African. He instant
ly smothered his emotions, and looked on
languidly as the four deposited their bur
dens on the table. Then he waved them
away and Strengthened up.
Left alone with his conscience and
twelve HOLSTERS, the statesman felt that
the mighty hour of his existence has in
deed arrived. He was encouraged to find
however, Oh examination, that fair pro-
portion of the lobster consists of a horny
substance not intended to be eaten He
was hungry, and lie is what is known in
his own State as a good FEEDER He
ate three Of the HOLSTERS, and then-paus-
ed. But the memory Of that look on the
walters face spurred him to action. He
emptied his dress suit case into his trunk,
and therein deposited the contents of five
of the lobster shells. A boy came with
telegram, and departed with the meat of
two Holsters done up in an evening paper.
He bore another to the window and tossed
it out. But one remained. He hesitated,
then ate half of it, and rang for the
waiter. The man entered, surveyed the
mountain Of empty shells, and his coun-
tenance fell
"Anything else, sah?' he inquired, in
an awed tone.
'Er, well-no, | think not. It's late.
Just bring me a cup of cotfee.'' From
the editor Drawer" in Harpers Maya
zine for May.