The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1898-08-21
ODD TO SOUTHERN EYES.
NEW FORKS RUNAWAY FUNERALS a
SURPRISE ALWATG


Gifts-Hostiie Attitude To strangers-pie.
ferenees In Social Customs Noticed.
Differences between the life OF this city and
the life OF towns OF the South impress them-
selves strongly on the Southerner who comes
10 New York 20 live. and they seem always to
be something more than tho result OF the ways
OF n metropolis as compared with those OF q
city only a fraction as big. The Southerners
who come hero ind the distinctive character.
istics Of New York life not in changing cable
cars nor in towering skyscrapers. The lavish
evidences OF wealth and all the good that 10
can accomplish are always interesting. to
them. and they appreciate the advantages. o9
the libraries nsa art galleries.the delights OF the
theatres and the opera. and the best elemenpG
OF metropolitan life. But II thoy really .1eeI n
some Of them have said they do. tho genuine
differences lie deeper than the contrast OF ali
these externals with the features Of smailef
towns. To the superficial differences South.
erners say they can become accustomed. Il IL
only the opposite elementso OF character 10 which
they are sometimes unable to reconcile them-
selves after years OF residence here. and this
applies not only to New York. but also 70, any
city where the influences are wholly Northern.
If anybody should ask me in what the
greatest difference lay between the hablts.
maybe 1 should Say between the characters.
too. OF the people Of the North and the South.I
would unhesitatinRly say that II was their
treatment OF death" caid q Southernef. 4" With
us in the South death Is an awful. solemn grief
that shuts us out as completely from the world
as II the black veil actually did fall between u
and us. Here death is only or seemsto me to
be only a dreadful incident OF life. Nothing In
my life ever gave me a greater shock than the
first funeral procession 1 ever saw In New York.
The horses were trotting along at a lively rate.
with the hearse moving nearly; as rapidly. I
had never before seen n funeral move at any
gait more r1pid than n walk. and 1 felt as IL I
ought to tell the drivers to go more slowly.
that what they were doing was a sacrileRe.
But / soon became accustomed to seeing ia.
nerals moving at that rate of speed. and the
smiling faces OF many persons who sat
in the carriages told me that probably
the monotony Of riding slowly would have
proved tiresome to them. The sight d
these rows of carriages travelling rapid
ly through the streets gave me a panG, of
inconsistencies when l thought OF the slow.
solemn professions Of the dead that wera
"reminiscences OF my old home. And that was
not a country town. but a city OF several hun.
dred thousand inhabitants. There is. of course,
not the same rush and hurry and scramble that
exists here. but while my home city has activity
and enterprise. there is plenty OF time as we'll
to bury the dead with all the solemnity and re-
spect that dignity can give. Ibelicve that the
size OF tho town has very little TO do with 1t.
The carriages would have time enough to go
slowly here il death meant the same to the
people who sat in them.
Doubtless New York people grieve for their
dead Just as much. But the dry eye. the COM
posed manner. the placid voice-they are not
found among us. Mere expression of emotion
does not. OF course. indicate the depth. Still
waters have always run deep. But this very
o0nn pocura unaapa fhaf tho FAILING Ia 1iHarapf
The idea OF the thing is not the same; tho
grief. the depth of SORROW that accompany
death with us seem to be unknown In the
North. The promptness with which the old
ways Of life are taken up again, the return
TO pleasures, the quick recovery-all OF these
things help to mark the difference to me be-
tween the way in which Southerners and the
people OF New York look at such things. In
nearly every outward aspect the appearance u
death here will he appropriate enough. far
more 30 probably than could be found in the
South. The mourning. for instance. will be
promptly and amply supplied. Such details arc
ever overlo oked here.
ITO differences in smaller matters one can
become reconciled more easily. The busi-
nesslike way in which hospitality is distributed
here is something that / never mind now. be.
cause 1 know that 1t means no necessary imi-
on II. The first invitation that / gotto
go out of tow and spend from Friday until
1 promptly refused. because I felt
it was n reflection. on my dignity to. be
asked to leave, on q certain day. Out OF prefer
SaSe But nG T seemed nSsf to come me 'T to9 On msr ansi
a limitation on hospitality to suggest
chat on that my day we! fRia I T TeSrette g im mSsd ely
afterward. Ny husband said !. was. a goose,
e @GPIid led Il that fbs The SUrt PPS %0 Q h Of fr inTisSstii T 9s. !
way. and told me tina tunless, expected to give
up all hope of visiting anybody It would pc
The truth OF What he said became clear
soon after that and l have never minded since
were made. 1 was told. Of course. that
this plan was made necessary for people
invite n many friends to visit tn" them. It was
necessary to state the limitation Of the engage
Ement in order that %Hsst there might be n>ch a
necessary We have small housesfn the Sonth
Their, good breeding, tact and perception In
The e'1 time has come Tor them to bring their
visits TO an end. And ! do not believe that We
are often disappointed for relying on those
One Chriss9as or rather Z few days after.
yard / was at the , house OF a a NeT for an oman man
bred. On a table near her was a beautiful
phS q b blq qs 4 and Go Whit P1reslain; admired Il
Blanks. We have exchanged presents every
Exchanged presentsl What a way to put
It. What Southerner. man or woman, would
ever, refer TO giving or receiving presents ae
exchanging them? That shows one Of the
great differences. An act OF generous courtesy,
following a custom that ought to be one Of
he most sincerely natural and spontane GUS Of
The whole year is-an exchanged! We give
presents at Christmas in the South because We
ike the persons We give them 10. or because
hey stand toward US In some intimate relation
hat makes such an attention. seem 10 a meas
nre necessary. But We don't give them be:
cause somebody else has given us one, or will
give us one and expects to get the same In re.
urn. Exchange a Christmas present! What Q
There ara no end OF little differences that
the Southerners who come. 10 New York have
to be taught. sometimes in a fashion that
seems disaRreeabie at the moment t. although
is really best for them in the end. II q per-
son is In moderate circumstances these diner
ances are likely TO he even more distinctly
To live In a house and not know by
sight the persons who live over or beneath You
t2 iacs tnem on me s' al ~i,aS.as ~cIuI