Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1898-09-03
HIS FOLKS-IN-LAW
hNHT HATS the matter, June Bride
An Old Joke Proved False.

w groom? You look out of
Sorts" said Mr.. Golden Wedding, as
they met on the Staten Island ferryboat.
my looks do not belle my feelings.
feel out of Sorts" answered the young
man, disconsolately.
whats the matter, young man?'
asked Mr.. Golden Wedding, cheerfully.
Mad because you couldn't go TO the
front, or did that wonderful baby keep
you up all night?"
"Oh, if that baby howled from dark
till day l wouldn't get up to touch it,"
retorted June Bridegroom, in an in
.jured tone. mo, the baby isn't bother
ing me and I've ceased to want to go
to the front. The fact of the matter is,
Mr.. Golden Wedding, I'm expecting
some interesting charges and attacks
and skirmishes at home this summer,
to say nothing of little bushwhacking
and guerrilla warfare"
"Tut, tut; tell me what's the matter"
said the old man.
''Folks-in-law," was the answer, de-
livered with feeling. "They're coming,
my wife's mother, her two sisters, her
brother, who is a college junior, and
her 12-year-old brother, who is-well, l
was about to say the very devil him
self, but 1 won't. Yes, they're coming,
next week, and they're coming to stay
through the month. By Jove, how l
dread it! But l guess l ought to stand
it since folks-in-law are necessary evils.
l never could understand why some
of my married friends used to advise
me as n bachelor to marry girl, who,
like Topsy, jes' growed, girl without
relative in the world. l understand
now. You see l know what am talk
ing about, Mr.. Golden Wedding. had
'em for a month last summer, and it's
awful"
Mr.. Golden Wedding fairly roared
Then he remarked: you talk about
your wife's relatives as if they were
Jim jams"
I'm like the small boy who never
could see the difference between cause
and effect" said June Bridegroom
you're so we'll along in years that
suppose your folks-in-law have al
died"
"Yes," answered the old man, will
sigh of unaffected regret, "I'm sorry
to say they are dead. The happiest
memory of the past is the visits thai
we used TO have from my folks-in-law
and Mrs. Golden Wedding says she love.
nothing better than to think over the
happy hours spent with her people-in
law. / know you think me crazy, be
nina nina
of every ten run down their folks-in
law. They begin to do this because
they think it is the proper thing t.
do, 1t becomes second nature with them
and finally man and wife end by really
dislilSlng each others relatives. That.
most unjust thing to do, and it makes
life far less comfortable and smooth fol
couple. June bridegroom, take thu
advice of an old man and experienced
one in all points of natrimony; learr
to be fond of your folks-in-law, ant
teach your wife to be fond of hers
You ask how? This way. Do not trea'
them as folks-in-law. You know my
wife and | were married SO years age
last December The term 'in-law' ha.
never once been used in our family il
reference to our own relatives
My mother was the dearest lit
Tie white-haired woman in the
world. When took my sweet
heart home for the first time after
our engagement was announced she
met her and said: You are my daugh
ter, dear, and am your mother. Yol
have just as much right in this home
just as much ri ieyht to our love as my
own daughter has, and want you Il
begin now to call me mother. | never
want the term "in-law" to enter your
mind. much less pass your lips aboui
this family, and | want my son to fee
exactly the same way about youl
parents and sisters and brothers. Lee
this be one marriage in which no in
laws figure ! was amazed ed SO wai