Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1898-11-18
VIVA r7oLsY SAYS.
to the Personnel of tho Prosont United
Stafea Artnv

y Statos army.
"well, SIR" said Mr.. Dooley. 'T didn't
W r Mack. but I'm with him now.
pa ne = Its whether he was tn
Ier-i- est military JANUS iv tn cinch-
.ry, but they'se no question about 1t.
We whit into this war with ould Spain
with about tn most fash'nable ARMY
that liver creased its pants. Twas q
daily hint firm Paris to tn crool foe.
"other gin'rals Nv tn trough house
Kind, like Napoleon Bonypart, tn i'm
iproa Nv tn Frinch, Gip'ral Ulis 8.
Grant, an Cousin George Dooley, hired
coarse, rude men that wudden't know
n difference between goluf an crokay,
Pm had their pants tucked in thier
boots an chewed tobacco be tn pound.
gnank hivin Mckinley knows betther
thin to sind tn likes iy thin abroad to
Hhock our frinds be dumpin their cof-
Zee into thimsilves firm saucer.
9TH dure bell rings an futman in
pv'ry says I'm Master Willie Doosel-
bery's man an he's come to be ex-
Rmined fr tn ARMY says he Admit
him. says Mckinley, an Master Willie
pnters, accompanied he his valley, his
NAH an pah an TIL comfy iv tn goluf
Club. Willie says the President, we
er-re inthering upon gloryous career,
an tbs nic'ssary that We shud be thruly
examined so that ye can teach tn
glories Nv civilization to tn tyr-ranies
" Europe that is supported be ye-er
Pah an mah,' he says. "Twud be
tnrr'ble thing he says, ''if some day
they shud meet a Spanish gin'ral in
Mahdrid an have him say to thin: L
seen ye'er son Willie durin' tn war
wearin' stovepipe bat an tan shoes
Let us begin tn examination he
says. 'Ar-re we good goluf playerT
I am, says Willie. Thin l appint we a
liftenant. What we needin tn army is
good goluf players he says. In our
former war, he says, we had tn mis-
fortune to have men In command that
didn't know tn difference between a
goluf an beecycle. an what was tn
raysult? We fooz.ed our approach at
Bull R-run,' he says. ARE we a MINI
Der Nv amy clubs?' he says. Four
says Willie. Thin make we a major
he says. Where dye get ye'er pants?'
he says. Firm England, says Willie.
'Gloryous,' says Mckinley, make we a
colonel he says. Let me thry We in
tactics he says. Suppose ye was con-
fronted be a Spanish ARMY in tn
Afternoon, how wud we dhrefs?' he
says. I'd wear stovepip hat, long
coat. a white vest an lavender pants
says Willie. An If tn attack was be
night?' he says. L put on me dhress
shoot an go out to meet thim,' says
Willie. "A thuro sojer.' says Mckinley.
Suppose tn sociable lasted all night?
he says, I'D sound tn retreat at day.
break an have me brave boys change
back he says, to suitable appar'l,' he
says. 'Masterly,' says Mckinley. L will
sind ye'er name in as brigadier-gin'-
rail-" he says. BE Thankful, tn r'rich,'
he says. is brave an pathriotic he
says. 'Ye will jine tn other boys firm
tn club at Tampa he says. 'Ye shud
be careful Nv ye'er equipment he says.
hav almost iv'rything r-ready,' says
Willie. Me man attinded to thin de-
tails he says. But fear can't go to
tn fr'ront immejetly.' he says. Me
pink silk shirts hasn't arrived he
says. Well says Mack, wait FIR thim,'
he says. I'm anxious fr to ind this hor-
BILE war; he says, which has cost me
nanny sleepy night he says, but
'twud be crime FIR to sind n sojer I'M
prepared to battle he says Wait fr
tn silk Shirts he says. thin on to
war; he says, and let ye'er watch
word be: 'Raymimher yeer manners
he says.
"They'se a man out here says tn
privit sicrity, that wants to see ye, he
says. He's r'rough-lookin' charack-
ter that was in the 500 war;, he says.
His name is Gin'ral Fiteum, he says.
Throw tn man OUT says Mack. Il
seen him in Pennsylvania avnoe YES.
terdah. r'ridin' in street ca-ar, he
says. 'Ah, Willie. me boy he says,
its little We know what troubles /
have firm these vulgar sojers with
pants that bag at tn knees. Give me
goold-tipped cigareet and tell me
whether shirt waists is much worn in
New York this year.
"Yis, Hinnissy, we put tn fastest
ARMY in tn field that liver come out
Nv a millinery shop. Right dhress!'
was an ordher that meant some
thin TIL ARMY was followed be
SPECIAL correspondents firm Butth-
ricks Pattheerns an Harper's Bazaar.
an IL our brave boys don't gore an
pleat tn inimy twill be because tn.
inimy'll be r'rude enough to school in
amy kind Nv clothes they find on III
chair whin they wake up."-Chicago
Journal