davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1898-10-09
THE FOULKEs AND ROYALTY.
Clever Bit of Irony from the Indiana
Member of the Family.
Washington Post

Washington Post.
1t seems that, some time in May last.
settled in Montgomery county two centuries
or so ago, held a family reunion. About six
hundred persons were present on the occa-
SiOn and there was great rejoicing, not to-
mention the usual supply of mutual admira-
ton. The really important result Of the
celebration, however. was the agreement to
prepare and formulate a genealogical tree
for the Fouke family, and, in due time, to
hrandish it in the faces of the Philadelphia
aristocracy, especially that section of it
which lays claim to royal lineage.
Now after some months of laborious ex
cavation, the Foulke committee have COM
pleted the family pedigree and laid 1t be-
fore an astoniShed and delighted world and,
what is still more to the purpose, before
that eminent Mugwump and reformer, the
Hon. William Dudley Foulke. of Richmond.
Ind We shall not undertake to follow the
majestic history in which the royal origin
OF the American Foulkes is immOrtalized.
Even in this opulently equipped office the
supply of consonants is unequal to the de-
raands of Welsh pedigree 1t may serve
all needful purpose to say. however, that
the Indiana FOuike has carefully examined
the statement and gives to it his cordial, ii
rot enthusiastic approval Indeed, after
emerging from perfectly bewildering laby-
rinth of Bleddyns and Glyndfrdwys, and
CSruffyds and Llanuwchllyns, Hon William
Dudley Foulke RECEIVERS breath enough to
say: =,
tie of the royalty of Europe has managed
to escape from the ancestry of the Foulke
family. 1t is to be regretted that the grand
princes of Moscow the Shahs of Persia,
and Emperors of China cannot as yet be
clearly identified, but it is to be hoped that
time and a still more exhaustive research
conducted under the auspices of some men,
Der of the Genealogical Society of Pennsyl-
vania will at last supply the broken links
which connect us with these dynaSties. In
order to stimulate still further such re-
searches would suggest that the order Of
American Queens be divided into various
degrees. according to the number of royal
dynasties from which the Queens are re-
spectively descended. Thus the precise
quantity of royal ancestry may be gagged
with mathematical exactnesS.
THE Foulke prospectus has been subject
to irreverent observations by the unin-
formed 'Twenty-sx coats of arms, we
are told with their heraldic descriptions.
are distributed through the tables, all based
upon authority One skeptic thinks 1t ex-
traordinary that the Welsh tribesmen who
had no coats to their backs should now
CLEAN forth in history as the possessors Of
brilliant coats of arms Such criticism is
due TO the critics still more scanty knowl-
edge of their actual apparel.
.sOne member of the family. using the
answer of Artemus Ward to the matrim0-
NAL proposals of the Mormon widows. said
that it was the 'muchness Of these an
cesfors that he objected TO, that he did
not mind a duke or two, or even king.
bat he did not want 50 many or them.
Such moderation is u1anifestly impossible
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1898-10-09
THE AMERICAN LANGUAGE.
Samples of 1t Addressed TO Wonder
ing English Girls.
Chicago Post.

CHlCdSO HOSt.
This inability to see a joke has caused
anguish untold to Americans visiting Shaks-
peare's land, and Mrs Elizabeth Wormeley
Latimer tells a story anent it too good to
marian, but the author of the most inter-
esting book ever written upon modern
Spain, is the daughter of an English adj
miral and was educated in England When
people lighted the fire with finder boxes and
all the land west of the Mississippi was
marked on the map unknown Indian ter
ritory," and the rs in school books were
all SIS, Mrs Latimer-then Miss Wormeley
was solemnly asked by a schoolmate:
How do you ever get along in America?
Can you speak the language"
"Oh. yes.' responded her friend, II
speak 1t as we'll as you can yours"
the young American to Say some Ameri-
can-'How do you door something"
The owner of solemn lips and laughing
eyes with difhculty preserving her gravity
replied bandly
Hoo boo goo 700 la, Ba va me. kiya fu
yaski!' and the English maidens were
Il kept that up during the two years
was there at school," says Mrs. Latimer,
land the joke of 1T was they never found
me out"
An Englishman at Chamounix-intelligent,
delightful person though he was-corrected
a young American for pronouncing Mag
dalen (the famous college at Oxford as 1t
is spelled. saying:
A wild desire seized America to ask If he
also spoke of Titan's Reading Maudlin,'
but she only said:
'Oh, i know you do, but really can't
bring my American to say that"
''Why, papa piped his daughter. aetat
y, Il didn't know that we spelled Maudlin
like Magdaleni'
Tableaul And yet John Bull saw nothing
funny in that
We love the English! We. are fond Of
their sturdy virtues and their excellent
southdown, but we're Americana English and
we Joined a joke club in youth and so
we've been admirably educated in whatso-
ever liveth or maketh joke. We find this
particular trait of our Long Lost Brother"
particularly hard to bear with equanimity.
1t seems to us as If we really couldn't stand
it, But that only proves him TO be our
brother in very truth. for anyone who has
ever had one of those delightfully."- provoking
things knows full we'll that while one adores
him and would have no other. there's al
ways some one trait in him which drives
one to the verge of hydrophobia- Thus it is
with the Jokeless JohHl
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1898-10-09
FORTUNES MADE in MELONS.
The Luscious "ROcky FOrds" and How
They Came to Be.

Kansas City IlmeS
This year has been an unprecedented one
in the cantaloupe market. The entire coun-
try from Staten island to Pixies Peak has
overflowed with the luscious fruit until in
Kansas City the best of them have been sold
Rocky Ford melon through it all has kept
up the price. and all efforts to secure it
at a lesser price have failed miserably.
Huston Baker, of the commission firm of
H. c. Garth, returned the other day from
a three weeks visit to the Rocky Ford dis
trict of Colorado. He is enthused with the
melons and tells great tales of the way in
which the Rock Ford comes to the market.
He said:
George w. Swink is the originator of the
Rocky Ford melon. About twenty years
ago Mr.. Swink planted a cantaloupe seed on
his farm near Rocky Ford. The first years
effort was not a success, but the next year
he produced a melon that was far superior
to anything ever placed on the market be-
fore. The next year his neighbors, profiting
by his experience. planted small crops of
Ford has steadily increased in reputation
until at present it is well known throughout
the United States. The Rocky Ford Is an
aristocratic melon: 1t IS served in the Wal
dorf Astoria Hotel in New York as well as
the Palace Hotel in Denver. In the East 1t
commands wonderful price, and this pre-
vents its consumption to any great extent
except by the princes and other potentates
with dainty appetites and fastidious
stomachs.
The district in which the Rocky Ford
melon is grown extends for fifty miles in
the La Junta country; The country Is al
voted exclusively to raising the cantaloupe.
The farmers have formed an association, in
corporated under the laws of Colorado.
Business is transacted through the officers
of the association, and in this way glut
in the market is rendered impossible.
Each farmer plants as many melons as
his land will. allow. Out there rain is
scarce and frrfga ton is necessary. To this
fact is attributed the delicious flavor for
which the melons are known. They are
maintained at an even temperature the
year round. No summer showers wash the
dirt from the roots or cover the vines with
soil The Rocky Ford, day by day. -four
iSnes with an evenness that can almost be
noticed No sudden growth for a few days
and as sudden ceaslng on account OF cold
weather The climate of Colorado is an
even one. and melons demand just such con-
ditions- =
AS the crop begins 70 ripen preparations
are made to get the melons on to the mar
ket without delay Agents are selected IN
all the principal cities and the association
gets ready for business. Crates are pur~
chased In car lots.
For this years crop forty cafko8Q8 OF
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1898-10-09

It's all a farce-these tales they tell
About the breeZes signing,
And means astir Ger field and dell,
Because the year is dying.
Such principles most absurd
I care not who first taught EN-:
There's nothing known to beast or bird
To make a solemn autumn.
In solemn times. when grief holds sway
With countenance distressing,
You II note the more of black and gray
Will then be used in dressing.
Now purple tints are all around;
The sky is blue and mellow;
And cen the grasses turn the ground
From modest green to yellow.
The seed burrs all with laughter crack
On featherweed and jimson
And leaves that should be dressed in black
Are all decked out in crimson.
The earth is just so full of fun
1t really can't contain it;
And streams of mirth freely run
The heavens seem to rain it.
Don't talk to me of solemn days
In autumns time of splendor,
Because the shows fewer rays,
And these grow slant and slender.
Why, it, the climax of the year
The highest time of living
Till naturally it's bursting cheer
Just melts into thanksgiving
Paul Laurence Dunba
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1898-10-09
His Indorsement.
Puck.

Farmer Kaw "a Kansas Populist)-I see
that the editor of the Weekly Kicker says
he won't support no candidate that won't
support his paper.
Friend-That's right, amt it?
Farmer KaW-You bet There amt no
sense in dom nothin for nobody that won't
do nothin' for you. You can't make nothin'
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1898-10-09

ThOughttul wives all over this land
have become the family doctors-for
themselves md for the husband and
children. -MUNYON.
A mothers eye is the quickest to see the
first shadow of disease in child: her hand
is the one to give the timely remedy.
Almost every i'll that used to be thought
difficult of cure yields with the greatest
ease to Professor Munyon's Remedies. He
has put it in the power of every mother in
the land to read the symptoms of ordinary
diseases and to meet them with proper
remedies. More than 10000 drug stores in
this country alone are distributors for him.
Remedies mostly at % cents; 81 cures for 81
ills. GUIDE TO HEALTH free.
What mother will not appreciate the feel
ings of Mrs. Mccartney.
Mrs. Prudie B. McCaffrey. 81 Foundry street.
boy has been subject to chills for about year.
The longest period between these chills would
be from three to five weeks. / dcctored with
my FAMILY physician, but he did not seem to
beneht him, as the chills would return at reg
ular intervals. A friend induced to try
OF these remedies / find that my boy is better
and looks better than he has for year. He
has not had chill in several months and has
had no symptoms Of them. Munyon has my
thanks"
AT the Medical Institute skilled physicians
give you unbiased advice AND NOT A
CENT TO PAY.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1898-10-09
1t Proved.
Boston Transcript.

bUSIuH ITdnSCTIpL.
Maud-F'unny what curious eyes some peo-
pie have / showed my new photograph to
the Neillisons to-day. He said it was aw-
fully pretty, and she said it didn't look a
bit like me.
Edith--So it seems that husband and wife
can think alike, doesn't it?
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1898-10-09

Detroit Free Press.
her heart
well, that was satisfactory
Yes; then we fell out about who would
carry the pocketbook.'
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1898-10-09

Philadelphia Record.

Hoax-You know Schneider, the bother,
who recently became a magistrate?
Joax-Yes.
We'll, he discharged prisoner yesterday
who was charged with stealing a dozen bot
ties of beer"
SOP"
Eyes; Schneider said that wasn't enough
to make a case"
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1898-10-09
Soulful.
Cleveland Leader.

CeVelanQ Leader.
What soulful eyes you have" she said
to the innocent youth.
Have I?' he Smilingly asked.
Yes she murmured in her gushing way.
Especially the left one. l could look into
its liquid depths for hours"
Il might leave it with you over Sunday
said the youth, somewhat bitterly, its
glass"
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1898-10-09
No Doubt.

$780,
Il would take him, but / am afraid my
| husband might object"
Madame, you can get another husband
much easier than a dog like that
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1898-10-09
Had No Chance.
Truth.

Pastor-Have you seriously considered the
great question of life, Mary?
Girl Neutrality-suspicious. of the young men
has asked me yet, sir.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1898-10-09
How She Reasoned 1t Out.

IF l should go to the bad place." she said,
IT spoSe my wax doll would melt
lit surely would" replied the elder who
thought there was a chance to impress a
lesson upon her.
WELL she returned with sigh, II guess
I'll have to be good, then"
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1898-10-09
Maybe.
Philadelphia No.

Philadelphia North American.
NO" said the positive girl at will never
tie myself down to one man.
Perhaps he replied, sarcastically, eff
organize a syndicate you will consider our
Offer"
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1898-10-09
His Way.


Miss La Fitte-Mr. Spooner is a model
husband.
De Witte-Yes; they say he treats his
wife as If he were candidate for election
and she were voter.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1898-10-09
HUMOR OF THE DAY.
Holdings.

New York Journal.
II hear you was held up last night"
Yes; that's how l got home"
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1898-10-09
should Think Not.

Truth.
wouldn't you like to live your life over
'sAnd owe twice as much as do now7
Well / guess not"
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1898-10-09
Not an Exception to the Rule.

Mr.. A.-So that's the girl he's engaged to.
l thought these blonde men always chose
brunettes.
Miss Bah. she was originally bru-
nettei
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1898-10-09
TREATMENT BY MAIL.

If unable to visit Munyon's offices person.
ally, write Professor Munyon fer advice,
which is ABSOLUTELY FREE. The most
obstinate cases successfully treated in the
strictest confidence. Guide to Health free.
Office open all day and evening. Sunday,
10 TO 10
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1898-10-09
AM Unnecessary Question.

Cleveland Plain Dealer.
MA. is there any pie left in the pantry?"
There is one piece, but you can't have
It,"
Ma I've had it."
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1898-10-09
[PUBIIsHED BY SPECIAL ARRANGEMENT
THE SMALL PART LADY.
BY GEo. n. SIMS.

Author OF "IaIes of To-Day" Wa. I'm
ming" tc,
Worcester morning daily spy., 1898-03-20
PRES. GILEV|EILAINIl)' S
|B1R7 T|H][DAY GIFT,

in the woods, and there is excellent
shooting for his royal highness.
In Aiken, South Carolina, William G.
Whitney has very big game preserve,
and in LenoX, Massachusetts, he has a
magnificent woods stocked with animals
big and little, where he INDUCES in au-
tumn shooting.
Neither of these, however, approaches
the New Jersey farm which Mr.. Cleve-
Hand gave himself for birthday gift.
Nothing-even George Gould's Furiough
Lodge-equals it in accessibility to CIV
ilization.
Mr.. Gould's CatskilI preserve is proba-
bly, the finest in the world in point OF
game. Like Mr.. Cleveland, he is fond
Of small sport rather than of stalking
deer and such big game. During the
season 200 young pheasants are let out
at dusk on the Gould preserve, and at
early dawn Mr.. Gould and his friends
start out for the forest. The birds by
this time have commenced to feed upon
the buds OF the trees. others are on
the ground. For three hours there Is
excellent wing shooting.
This Catskill tract contains 1000 acres
and is inclosed with barb-wire fence
twelve feet high, or eighteen wires deep.
The superintendent, with supply Of
men, is employed to watch and take
care of the game.
One of the most interesting inventions
at Mr.. Cleveland's preserve will be the
rabbit warren. This will be very SINH
lar to George Gould's rabbit warren.
Three long, narrow tents Will protect
the rabbits from the weather Each
hutch is 100 feet long by feet square
The back and sides are protected by
strong wood and each rabbit has his
room and sleeping place. AS soon as
the rabbits are grown they are released
to become wild.
1t is proposed to keep the Jersey pre-
serve owned by the Cleveland syndi-
cate as large as possible and as wild.
No game will be shot unless by the
huntsmen who own it, The keeper will
not be allowed to send game to market
Spring and fall the syndicate will shoot
there, and at other times the preserve
will lie STILL hidden in the very heart of
the thickly populated wood, unused
waiting for it's distinguished head owner
to visit it.
Worcester morning daily spy., 1898-03-20
zoLA's COUNSEL.

(From the London Daily News)
But then came Maitre Labor, who, In his
own style of oratory, is unsurpassed. In
the fluent, fiery passion of it, the plastic
emotion wholly under the domination of
the speakers will, 1 have never known
anything like it since. as boy, I heard
Gavazzi. He has a voice which can be
turned to every feeling and he flashes
from one mood into another with start
ling quickness, and yet with SO smooth
and deXterous a transition that there Is no
touch of jerkiness to jar upon the mind.
His voice can ring like a very clarion. but
there is just that touch of noble hoarse-
ness in it, that INDISPENSABLE affecting grip.
IKE the roop of the bow on the string OF a
Nioioncello, which most men remember in
the voice of John Bright. | shall make no
attempt here to describe his argument, but
he made one magnificent stroke when he
read out passage after passage from the
writings of the man who now processes to
be ready to sacrifice all for the honor Of
the army, and who was yet a few months
upon those very officers in whose defense
he is now raging. Time and again he
awnke the anger of the crowd, and time
and again he juggled it down. Whenever
they raised a disdainful laugh at a fact or
an argument, he turned with a repetition
Of 1t more uncompromiSing than the orig
mad, and the many Interruptions seemed a
spur to him. The words, "A patriot like
Zola" evoked a storm Of groans and
Kisses. He turned like Hon. II say it.
A patriot like lola a patriot with a
love of his own land than is owned by any
of the shallow-minded swa1lowers of
phrases who rage at him. One of these
days you will recognize your own folly
and his greatness
He stood a second or two, as if challeng-
ing new outburst. There was complete
silence "Ah, well, then" he said, with a
touch Of fighting laughter in his voice, II
continue" and he went back to his argu-
ment.
AT the final suspension of the sitting I
anne Labori, a charming young English
woman who was delightfully."- gratif1ed by
the success her husband had achieved. re
and to fight such prejudice" It is hard
indeed, but Me. Labori is evidently the
man for it,.
Worcester morning daily spy., 1898-03-20
VERY SUBMISSIVE.
From the ArgonautN

The fact that DR.. Creighton, the lord
bishop of London rolled and smoked
10 cigarets the other day while talking
with a newspaper man, recalls the story!
of the big, burly bishop and the little
curate in the compartment of a railway
car. you will not mind my smoking,
will your" said his lordship. Not u
your lordship doesn't mind my beinl
sick" submissively replied the it'll
curate.
Worcester morning daily spy., 1898-03-20
THIS PHOTOGRAPH OF JOHN WALL

him up to a soldiers burial
The rest of the horrible story you
1now. OF the bodies recovered, the cur
rency saved and the machinery res
cued. 1 was there when they found the
cipher books of the signals of the United
States navy, and saw the valuable arti-
Giles placed in the possession Of the cap
tain.
1 worked on the Maine sixteen days
steadily, and only gave up because I
was too tired to work any longer.
John Wall,
Florida Diver.
Worcester morning daily spy., 1898-03-20

| body and was swimming rapidly toward
the door. took up an axe, resolved to
recover that sailor or die in the attempt.
The shark saw me and turned toward
me. waited for him with uplifted axe.
When he was within ten feet of me 1
aimed blow which struck him in the
side, and a great yellowish streak of
shark blood followed the axe handle.
He gave a queer gulp, which l could
hear and, dropping his victim, fled with
swift strokes Of his tail 1 carried this
man above. He was in a worse shape
than the other poor fellow, but l got
Worcester morning daily spy., 1898-03-20

again.
AS I approached the wreck this time
saw something moving inside. A
strong fear took possession of me- Could
any living being have survived the blast
and the water? Could any one have
been imprisoned by freak of dynamite
in an air-tight, water-tight compartment,
now to work his way out after many
days?
AS 1 came nearer, for the object was
in the inner room, 1 was startled to see
it was that most greedy of ocean mon
sters-a shark! He had in his teeth a
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1898-03-26
RICHMOND P0ST0FFICE.
There VIII BE Few Changes-Judge
Waddill Retircs from Committee.

WASHINGTON, d, c., March 25.-Spe-
cial.-Judge Waddil Colonel Brady and
Mr.. John l.. Grubbs left this afternoon
on the 3:iG train. ! asked Mr. Grubbs
If there would be many changes in the
Richmond postOfice. He replied that
he did not know. lie was under the
impression. however, that there would be-
very few changes Judge Wadlill stand
ing near by, laughed and said Cleveland
fixed things for us lie put Democrats
in Office and then fastened the ciyil SER
vice law on us. \ great POLITICIAN was
Cleveland"
Judge Waddin was not quite certain
when he would qualify. He said he Gid
not think he would go on the bench next
week Just before leaving Washington
Judge Waddill rendered 10 Chairman Ag-
new his resignation as a member of the
Executive Committee Of the Republican
party I'm Virginia. n said that being a
presiding judge he could no longer remain
active I'm the management of party ar
fairs.
The Republican agitators I'm Congress
against the civil service law wera going
10 carry things their own way last vim
ter They We're going 20 amend the law
very materially II they did not wipe IL
out. To-day the anti-clvi service law
bills. there are several Of them are dead.