The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1898-04-04
THE PACIFIC
THE LIGHTHOUSE SCARE.

THE LIGHTHOUSE SCARE.
Senator McCandless has again dis
charged himself, like an invoice OF
Chinese fire crackers, over the impend-
ing peril to mankind from the new
Diamond Head lighthouse He has te-
come thoroughly frightened at the fran
structure, and he means to brighten ev-
erybOdy else.
When he stood by the structure last
week, in the solemn discharge of a
Senatorial duty, he spent the most Of
his time, not in inspecting, but in pre-
pairing to meet his God" if the struc-
ture toppled over, and his shrieks of
fear drove last Saturday an eminent
diplomat, and an eminent merchant,
both residents of Waikiki, over the
Pail to Maunawili until the crisis has
passed.
The Senator naturally feels that an
artesian well, built under his own di-
rection, in the place of the lighthouse,
and dispensing wholesome water to
mariners, would be preferable to the
lurid glare of a lantern that invited
them to destruction as if they were
flies.
The lighthouse is built on precisely
the same principles as those construct
ed by the Lighthouse Board of the
United States Government. While the
weight of the lantern and fixtures at
Diamond Head is only 10 tons, the
structure can sustain a weight of be-
tween 40 and so tons. Scores of SIM
liar structures are seen along the At
lantic Coast The methods of building
them are perfectly we'll known to SUI
perintendent Rowell, but not to Sena-
tor McCandless.
The Senator resembles an old farmer
from Pennsylvania, who visited his son
in Philadelphia, few years ago, and
was shown for the first time, an ocean
steamer driven by a propeller blade.
mo Jeems,' he said, your old ladder
will go home if you make fool Of him
That little wheel Ok the hind part OF
that ar ship can't move it an inch"
But it does" said Jeems. "Joems yo1
are a liar" said the old man, and he
went home. When the first suspension
bridges were built, the numerous Me-
Candless tribe of frights, predicted that
no train could ever cross them, III.
safety. When the light agricultural
machines of American make were in
troduced into England many years ago,
Jonh Bull said: ''Take away those
f1imsy toys" But the toys stood the
strain.
The trouble is that there are too
many graduates from "Whang Doodle
College" around. The greater the
ignorance, the higher the degree con-
ferred. The Senator in respect is en-
titled to am L. L. d. If DR.. McCand-
less will enclose a diagram of the light
house, with accurate description of all
details of construction, to the Light
house Board in Washington, and Jug
gest his doubts about it, he will Ii he
gets any reply, receive this answer:
what is the effect of the tropical eli
mate on the American brain? Does it
make idiots"
If the Senator and his friends wish to
hit superintendent Rowen, they must
strike out at some weaker spot than
the lighthouse affair. Mr.. Rowen is
civil engineer, who has studied up the
construction of lighthouses. It is his
misfortune that he did not graduate
from Whang Doodle College.
Let us be generous. We advocate ex-
ira pay to the, Senator for the risks he
has incurred in inspecting that light
house. But it makes the spot memor-
able. For a thousand years to come,
the tourists will be taken by Mr..
Carty's liveries to the place, and after
uncovering, will be told: 'There is
where the heroic McCandIess stood
when he recklessly braved death, in
pure love of his country, while the
lighthouse rocked and reeled in the !
summer breeze"
Thank God! We are daily grinding
out the romances of Hawaiian life. !
What legends we shall have!