Lewiston teller. [volume] (Lewiston, North Idaho) 1878-1900, 1898-06-17
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Bill-Arc you giving any attention to
music now? JILL cant help it; we've
got eight pianos in our fiat.-Yonkers
Statesman.
Fuddy-Are you in favor OF a single
tax? Duddy-I go farther than that.
would have no tax at all.-BOston
Transcript.
How does Blankly get along? He
says that he's too proud to beg and too
honest to steal" He gets trusted
Indianapolis Journal.
"What long. thin head Jimson has"
Hasn't he? Looks as II he had pushed
it under n bureau for n collar button"
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
This would be very happy world IL
people would always wear the express
sion they do when they are having
their pictures taken.-Puck.
Mrs. Flight--lsn't it terrible. this
talk of war: Mrs Rlunt--Yes: but we
are fully prepared. Harrys life is In
sured.-lndianapolis Journal.
"My voice is still for war;" shouted
the impassioned orator. How about
the rest of yOu?' yelled Il sarcastic by
stander.--Cleveland Plain Dealer.
"Quigley always kisses his wife on
entering and leaving the house."
''Yes: queer how habit clings to n
man, isn't iti"--Philadelphia North
American.
Papa, when a horse laughs he kicks
up his heels, doesn't he?" Il guess so :"
well, old Bill has just laughed at Ben
ME. Won't you come out and carry him
ny'-Truth.
Rectors wife-And what has my dear
girl given up during Lent? Dear girl
Well, you see it was 50 hard for me to
make up my mind that just gave up
thinking.-Life.
Y.-Is your wife honest? C.-What
do you mean!"l mean do you ever find
her short in her accOunts!" ''Well.
should say not! You ought to hear
herr Onkers Statesman.
sometimes" said Uncle Ebcn. 81
has mer s'piciOns dat dat boy or mine
doesn't show mo- respeck fob advice
case he sees how little his father done
got out'n t."-Washington Star.
Pryne-So you're a New Yorker, too
What borough! Greene-Well, l bur
row in u Manhattan office building by
day. and Brooklyn boarding hous.
after nightfall.-BrOoklyn Life.
"Ain't little bow-leggedw asked
the dubious young man. "Bow-lesgcd?'
said the tailor. "Thc idea! Your lower
limbs. sir are absolutely without ,
parallel" Journal.
How did Fakem, the hypnotist sc
along on his last trip?" First rate
until he tried the impossible. He hyp
noticed II tramp one day ana tried 4
make him saw wood '-BroOklyn Life
Office boy ito his employerDM
Brown. outside, sir, wants to see til
junior partner. Junior partner-NOt In
owe him $50. Senior partner-Sho>
him in; he owes me $4O.-Harper'
Bazaar.
Weaver-POetry is something that
born in one; 1t cannot be acquired. TIL
making OF poetry Is a gift. Beaver
SO Is the disposing Of 1t. 80 far as
4 have had any experimentation
Transcript.
: Your husbands temperature" sal
t the physician, "is alarmingly high
e 100" Couldn't you make 1t an eve
hundred?" asked the patient. overheal
= ing the doctors --lndianaI
IS oils journal.
y Jane (reading)--The wearied sentin,
= leaned on his gun and stole few I'M
ments' sleep. Little Robbie kno'
q where he stole II from. .Jane-Wher
g Robbie: Robbie-From his nap-s;ck.-
It Cleveland Plain Dealer.
She-,What does this mean about a
Just government deriving its aulhoril
from the consent Of the governed! II
1t means that when a man gets MA
r ried he practically agrees to take Il
conseuuences.-Iuck
Incurable-Bing- Yes. that's o
u Spriggings. Half a dozen doctors ha'
y. given him up at various times durii
o' his life. Wing-What was the troul
Win Ulll pay J.
t. bills.-BOston Traveller.
Z, Iohnny-DO they have elephants
III Asia? Papa-Oh, yes. JOHNNY
ie they have circuses in Asia? Papa
4. MOO; think not. JOhnny-Well wha
Vi the use OF having elephants IL tn
don't have circuses Puck.
., Mudkins-What would you say, :
-. II should tell you that l love yo
daughter! Mr. Cashtuburn-NOt
.,o word. sir; not "A word. Your audac
~, would simply hold me spellbound.
- Philadelphia North American.
III,
mr. His wife-And you are to defend Il
ia. shopllfter. The lawyer-My dear.
II. isn't a shoplifter. She was Former
in but she has saved so much money
no the last ten years that she has Deco
of kleptomaniac.-IIarv LampoOl
Ter i've heard 1t said he was m
ed reader" said her dearest friend. -
not true" she replied bitterly. How