Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1898-03-02
He pined upon his evercoat-
That sneering Johnny Power
A big chrysanthemum and said;

A big chrysanthemum and said!
"That's what caulidower."
Chicago Tribune.
'T wonder II that diamond Nudge
has n Of the nrst waterY II doubt 1t
It has been soaked so many times that
1t must be Of the tenth or eleventh
water by this time."-lndianapolis
Journal.
"sse here, waiter! Those eggs ar
not cooked properly" Il know It, sir
but you said they were for your wife
and / knew If the lady was your wife
she couldn't be very particular."-Yon'
kers Statesman.
"An / ask" said the man with the
business CLINT in his eye, is that they
viii give me plenty Of rope" Then 1t
was that they recognized him as q
manufacturer of campaign cigars
Indianapolis Journal.
"See how clean Of snow Browns
sidewalk ia and look at Jacobson's,
next door," ''Yes, but you don't un-
derstand." "WhatY" II saw Brown
borrow Jacobson's snow shovel two
hours ago."-Chicago Record.
Mr.. Henpect anxiously)-Can
bring proceedings in court. Mr.. Black
stone. to set aside my wife's Will!
Lawyer-Why. your wife isn't dead'
man, Is shef Mr.. Henpect-No; that's
lust the trouble.-Somerville Journal
Mrs. Snaggs (who was a school teach
or before her marriage)-The scientific
name Of the turkey Is Msleagris Cal
lopsyo. Mr.. Snaggs-We will abbre-
yiste that name to Dennis" for the
time being.-Pittsburg Chronicle-Tele-
graph.
"rather." said the small boy, what
makes piano players wear their halr
Iong?" Don't bother me. Johnny.
But, father, l wish to KNOW. oh
it's so the public won't be able to see
how much their heads have sweileu.
Washington Star.
Mrs. Lighty-You used to call me
dear" before marriage, you never DO
now. Mr.. Lightly-Before l married
YOU l thought you dearI now l know
YOU are dear, very, very dear, more
dear to my purse than my heart-io
Date.
Youth with incipient beard)-I want
a bottle Of face lotion. Druggist-Do
you want something to use after shaw
ing? Youth (confidentially)-No! You
see I'm raising q beard, and l want
the face lotion for my fancee.-Phila'
delphia Record.
What on earth have you been do
ing. my childT exclaimed FaHnie's
mother as the little girl came into the
room with her hair all awry and her
dress torn in a dozen places. PLAY
in shoppin, ma'am!" was the reply
Yonkers Statesman.
You are worth your weight in GOLD
to me, darlingw he murmured. Then
do go home early, George, dear" she
replied, wearily. I've lost ten pounds
since we became engaged, just sit
ting up with you. We can't afford such
extravaganza" Bazaar.
Lad Of 1O-I say, pa, what Is the
meaning of these numbers at the bot
tom of every picture? Look at this
one: Shakespeare, 158. Perplexed Fa-
ther (who has never been in a gallery
expect that Is his
telephone number. Humoristische
Blaetter.
81 love to hear you talk, my dear"
said Mr.. Bickers to his wife. when she
paused to take breath at the end Of
the second column Of a curtain-lecture,
but your velubility is really a re-
Election on my wisdom" How so?"
Because q word to the wise is sufh-
First wife-My mans just gone out
wild as a hawk COS he can't find any
money to spend on beer. Second Wife
Where do you hide it? Do tell! Mine
knows everywhere bout the house. l
can't hide nothin' from him long. First
Wife, always puts it In his own coat
pocket, the one as hangs up behind the
door, and he don't never look there
for money.-Ally Sloper.