The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1898-01-02
THE CALIPH AT THE DESK.
ROUGH-A AVID READY JUSTICE OF
THE POLICE SERGEANT

Not tccorded-Varied Troubles which Are
brought TO Him for settlement.
Yc mny look. sorr. but by my faith there's a da,o
moro done in the field than liver gifts into Field
ordhcrs.-Sdving or Private Muirunev.
Behind his railcd.in desk sits tho Sergeant, n
Callph in his own realm OF tho police station,
and n Judge Of tho Thousand Small Things OF
Life. With what wit God has given him and
whit experience he has gained for himself he
| sits in Judgment on the minor sins and difficult.
ties Of n tccming and moro or loss auarrclsomo
populacc. His business, for which he receives
neither pay nor recognition. Is to keep out Of tho
police court moro cases than over get into II,
to adjust discussions /: possible, and II not TO
prevent their bCcoming omen outbr axis, to act
as mentor md judge in n score of cases every
night that finds him on duty, and, in short, to
conduct himself rs u sort Of minor judge in mat
ters which require for their proper adjustment
little of law and much of tho inner knowledge
OF human nature. You may weary your eyes
vainly seeking for any mention of this sort Of
thing in tho police regulations, but an evening
in any police station will show you how much
moro than the salary he gets u good police Ser
geant earns.
An enst side station IS tho best. Here are
moro varieties OF the human race than else.
where, rs well as more individuals to the square
rod. Uptown they are more decorous and con-
duct the smaller quarrclS without recourse 20
the authorities. Most things that como in Mt
tho stations there 20 out through tho courts.
On the cas-. side 4; Is difcrcn There tho police
is an institution Of superior attachments and n
sor. OF general umpire in ali matters ranging
from social amenities TO barroom bets. For
your consideration, thon, let there bo presented
to tho mental eye the interior of u police sta
ton, in the most crowded and cosmopolitan
part OF the city. with the Sergeant sitting at his
desk looking over his blottcr by the light of tho
two high gas jets, while the clock above him
points to s o'clock. There is n wranglo of
voices outside. and II dozen Polish Hebrew wo-
men burst in through the &oor, surrounding n
policeman, who leads two of them forward.
Policcman-Scrgcant, I got these two ladies
raising a row ON
The Scrgcant-What arc their namesi
The policcman-Rl IL l could tell. Ser
Geant, they jabbcr so.
The Sergeant Ito the woman on the Left
What's your naIncl
Tho Woman lin wild excitement and ono
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES .y ctmenovitchkerschwa-
lbanderaugramptcrwitz--
The Scrgcant-Cut it of. I didn't'tcll you to
sing a SONG. What's the matter with your
Speak English.
The Other Woman waving her arms and half
yclling)-,Shc hat called me oud off mcin name.
1 want her arrested.
The Sergcant-And what have you been do
ing to herl
All the other women in c~horus-Oh. Mr.. Ser
| gcant. she said-nnd she said--and Mrs. War
shafskycalied ncr-sa. Mrs. Emilowitch's hus-
band was-and her with a sick baby to home
il it had been me I'd policeman had a right
not to arrest--Mrs Warshafsky's a LADY,
know both
The Sergeant Shut up! D'you want me to
loo1- oil ,,Nl Nnp- ,-n,, tlorn IN tho ripht
You live in the same house with her. don't youl
The Woman (eagcrly)-Ycs, Sergeant, and
The Sergcant-kecp quiet. And you and
she had q quarrel and couldn't keep it to your
selves, an went out on the street with it. Is
| that iti
The Other Woman thastily)-Yes, Sergeant,
but
The Sergcant-Don't talk. If you want
to quarrel, quarrel at home. Don't take it into
the street. Next time you do I'll send you to
the Island for n year, both OF you. for obstruct-
ing the public highways. Get out!
All the Women in Chorus-Sereeant, amt
you-
The Sergeant (roaring1-Get out!!!
Exeunt omncs in haste. The clock moves
around half an hour. during which time q sneak
another man with a beer glass are locked up.
Then enter Johnny Wall. aged 9, IN tears and
in the grasp OF y large policeman.
The Sergeant lin tones OF hunder)--Wha has
that young rascal been doingi
The Young Rascal Hoo-hoo-hoo. Oh-h.h,
The Big Policeman-Soakcd an old man in the
neck with n bean.shooter: There : n gang OF
them makes a lot of trouble around Houston
The scrgeant-Well. what have you got to
say, you young criminaR 80,
johnny OO-hOO-hoO lsniffl. Nnuthln lsnlffl.
l didn't mean TO. i3oo,hoorhoo!
The SCrgcant-,Put him over in that corner,
officer. and come back here. lSotto voccl What
kind of n case * i'll
The Big Policeman, tsotto, vocel-Hc amt so
getting pretty fresh with them bcan-shooters
and | thought he'd be tho better for having n
The Sergeant lin a loud, harsh voicc)-You
little scoundrel, you'll he brought up before the
Judge t3'morrow; 20 you K,ow ho wHat cane tMc
him a good thrashing in court and sent him TO
prison for ten Year,: Oh
please. Mister. Oh-h-h-h ple-e-c-casc. mister:
The Sergcnnt-lfI let you 70, will you promise
Johnny lin heartfelt tones Cross my heart!
Hope to die, | will. l mean lsnifl won't
The Sergeant Officer, if you ever catch this
alive. Now. you, go home quick.
Exit Johnny ON the keen run. Three be-
drabbied women Of IA too familiar kind, and q
ri, kpOckct. are all that came in TO occupy the
They are duly entered in the .blotter before
being locked up. He has walked out upon the
certain fumbling AT the door.
The Scrgcant-Herc comes No. / OF the army
of DRINKS.
Enter q wreck.
The Wrcck-Tm starving.
The Sergeant Heard that before.
The Wreck by God, it's true. DO they give
you food If you're locked up!
The Depends.
Tho Wreck goes for the chance.
lie pulls II rock from his pocket and swings
back 10 throw it through the window pane
when the Sergeant jumps for him and catches
his arm.
The Wreck breaking DOWN. Nothing. A
%loafer. And ] want to BIO n jailbird to get food.
/ wish | WIS dead.
near. Looks like tho real thing in starvation.
Haven't seen 1t very often. lAloud.l Here.
can you DO!
Any kind that | can get. But ] can't get it.
The Sergeant I%lcrn's half a dollar to shovel
of the snow from in front.
The Wreck ,,tpitcously)-You'r joking.
There's no SNOW there.
Tho Scrgcant-Wcll. that's my lookout. amt
III 10 and get II meal and a bed, Come
around here tomorrow and I'll try TO find you
. lob OF some sort: