The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1898-07-02

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Fair Nisitor-What a lovely parrot.
TO parrot)-Polly want a cracker? Pol
~ (cautiously)-Dld you make 1t your
self?-Truth.
The Rule.-The Able Editor dronical-
ly)-Is this poetry? Contrlbutor-Didn't
l begin each line with n capital letter?
Boston Traveller.
Little Clarence-Pa, what is the diff
ference between firmness and obstin-
aey? Mr.. Callipers-Merely a matter
of sex. my son.-Puck.
George, father has failed.' That's
Just like him, | told You all along,
darling. that he was going to do all he
could to keep VS. from marrying."-Tit-
Bits.
He Hheatrically)-Yod have refused
me! Tomorrow | go to seek my for
tune In the Klondike. She-May l have
the refusal of you when you return?-
Puck.
Are you the boss of the house?" in
quired the man at the door. NO; I'm
only the boss understrdy," was the
much-married mans answer.-Yonkers
Statesman.
Varlable.-Stranger lin Texas)-How
long do you fellows work at a stretch?
Cowboy-Well, 1t depends a good deal
OH how easy de Teller dies. Dey're
yarlable.-Judge.
They say poor Clara consulted the
stars before marrying him" "And
what was the result?'' 'They all gave
him a good character, except one
vaudeville star."-Life.
General Recruit surveying the ball
room)-I think your ladies' would make
excellent soldiers. Van Teel-Why so?
General Recruit-They display so much
INSTRUMENTATION Life.
Doctor. who was that man that
screeched and yowled so loud when
YOU We're pulling his tooth?' THAT
was a Christian Science friend Of
mine."-Chlcago Tribune.
Laura-When Bob proposed last
night, did you know what was comlngi
Lucretla-No; l didn't know papa was
within hearing; neither did Bob. Poor
Bob.-Yonkers Statesman.
Mrs. Booser Ito Mr.. B.l-Why, you
dlsgraceful creature, you're never so
Der. Mr.. Booser-No? Mus have been
'toxicated when | married you, an not
'ponsible for actlons.-Fun.
Mistress (severely)-1f such a thing
occurs again, Norah, l shall have to get
another servant. Norah-I wish yez
w~ud-there's easily enough worruk for
two av us.-Boston Traveller.
She-Here is such a pretty story In
the paper about how Edison came to
marry. He-I wish some of these bright
journalists would explain how / came
TO marry.-Indianapolis journal.
Chollie-Er-aw-I do believe n good
deal In this-aw-- hewedity theowy.
Miss Smart-Your own case shows Il.
You would never have been rich If your
father had not been so.-Indianapolls
Journal.
Mr.. Millyuns tbrlskly)-Want my
daughter, Ell? Well. how much are you
worth? Money talks, you know. Bob
Hardup (cheerfully)-Yes, | know; but
I'd be willing to let her do most of the
talking.-Punch.
Misunderstanding Charactcr-Wot's
ther time, guv'nor? Mr.. Bluff Uniting
him over the headl-It's just struck
one. Misunderstanding Character
tgroanlngly)5I 'ope your watch amt
a repeater.-Tlt-BIts.
A MIsinterpretation.- -Hair-cutter Ito
parent)-Shall l give your boy a bang
on his forehead, sir? Parent (busily)-
Yes; and IL that doesn't quiet him, give
him one In the neck. He's been warned
not to tidget In the BARRIERS chair
Judge.
Fuddy-Do you really think that
Baskers cares much for his wife? bud.
dy-Cares for her? He dotes on her.
Scores of times I've known him to make
faces for his wife when she had TO
take nasty-tasting medlcine.-Boston
Transcript.
Il observe In the public prints said
the scientific boarder, that a whales
tongue sometimes yields a ton of OIL"
IF the whale is as olly-tongued as
that" said the cheerful idiot, mo Won
der Jonah was taken n."-Indianapo-
lis Journal.
20 don't worry about such %triies."
said the New York girl. Just keep a
stlf upper lip and you'll come out all
right" But" replied her Boston
cousin. at Is a physical lmposslbility
for me to maintain a superior lablal rig.
idity.-Chicago News.
Still Has Faith.-"Mrs. Higgins IA
still wildly In love with her husband
Does she put the buttons on his shirts
for him yetY' mo, but he told her he
sat up all night playing cards without
any stakes-and she believes him.
Pittsburg Chronicle Telegraph.
Miss Wearwell-Who is that hand
some gentleman across the room? He
has been looking steadily at me almost
all the evening. Miss De Cosh-That Is
Mr.. Fearsome. They say he Is so near
sighted that he amt see three inches
beyond his nose.-Cleveland Leader.
You shall be queen OF my home,''
said young Mr.. Northslde. enthusiast.
cally. when Miss P%errysyille had given
be the chancellor OF the exchequer,
George, dear" replied the practical
Misunderstanding Chronicle.
now" said the anxious mother. you
do not want to marry that reporter.
Think OF having n husband who never
gets home until . or 3 in the mornlng?'
But" said the shrinking maiden,
''aren't all husbands that way? Papa
is not a reporter and-and yet" But
Il H. -. It,.