The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1898-09-22

our friends help us with that steal?''
He got the two words mixed. Let us
hope the new steel trust will not mix
them so badly that they will not be able
to separate them.
*
The old proverb about there being
no smoke without fire may be true.
but there is likely to be considerable
fire without smoke, since Uncle Sam
has ordered a million pounds of smoke
less powder.
~
A young lady named AtchisOn, prob
ably relative of the Atchison Globe,
as her periphery measures four feet
seven inches, and she weighs 500 pound
troy has threatened to "set down" on
the member of the press who first
called public attention to her size.
Should she carry her threat into exc
cution it is more than likely that the
editor will have an entirely new and
efficient illustration of the "power of
the press"
~
Sometimes man may kill two birds
with one stone, but it more often hap
pens about this time of the year that
man fires two shots at one bird with
out effect.
Xxx
When man has a good hand he
likes to get raise, but when the coun-
ty assessor raises him, he doesn't like
it no matter how good his hand is.
*
"We honor the man who acts out
his honest conviction" says an ex-
change. That's me. 1 am by no means
sure the conviction was honest, but
Pm doing my best to act it out just
the same.
Xxx
There was always a mystery about
the ease with which we beat Spain. 1t
is mystery no longer The announce
ment comes officially from Spain that
there are 2SS Acknowledgements on
the Spanish military rolls.
Xxx
A Chicago paper announces the find
ing of a body Of person which had
evidently been in the water for several
weeks and gravely adds "the vital
spark had fed"
*
A Nebraska editor published the fact
that in his garden was lilac bush 20
feet in diameter which statement gave
his contemplate contemporary across
the street occasion to say: A man that
can lilac that is an indispensable access
sorry to the Middle. of the-road party.
Xxx
ChicagOans are eccentric people. A
man committed suicide there and his
family Immediately gave a theatre
party in honor of the event.
Xxx
Editor Langum of Preston jeers at
me for wanting to bet that the Preston
bank wrecker never comes here and
the Minneapolis Times intimates that
1 am looking for cinch.
Xxx
In vain do | scan the varied patent
medicine advertisements of my ex-
changes for sure cure for the marble
heart. If any one knows of such a
remedy am willing to buy bottles
for So and scatter them among the
judges who are now handling the Grim
inal business of the courts. Talk
about your philanthropists.
~
America can justly boast of the dip
lomatic talent of her great men. Up
to date two dozen have discovered
some good excuse for not serving on
the proposed investigating commission
The average American statesman can
smell the difference between plum
and rotten egg long ways.
Xxx
The immediate identification of the
body found in Connecticut by the faith
er and one other person, only to prove
erroneous, puts me in mind of the COM
plete Identification in Chicago, where
only one tooth and one or two bones
were found. A man is "doing life" at
Joliet on the strength of the latter.
Xxx
There are some lifts who, not being
satisfied with having the volunteers
shot and starved to death, are now as
serting that in case of war the United