davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1898-11-09

A jolly old boy from the Midlands
entered into one Of the hotels at the
seaside c.4d seeing on tAe slab OH the
right a crab dressed On the, shell with
legs, claws aud parsley ranged round.
said to the landlord:
"What d d'ye call ihat?"
'Crab," was the answer.
Looks good III have IN, and gle
Us pint of ale"
Bread and butter Was added ard the
diner left to his dinner. In about an
hc-r the genial landlord entered the
cv-ng saloon to see il his guest was
getting ON all right he found him
chawing up the last claw. the chawer
red IN the face. but beaming.
Like the crab. sir?''
Yes he was capital Incyer tas.ed
one afore, but think you baked IN q
little too long. The crust was hard
Let's have another pint -
He had eaten the lot-shell, claws
and ali complete. London Tit-Bits.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1898-11-09
A Successful Stock Farmer.

The number of women entering agri
cultural fields is constantly increasing.
Hosts Of women throughout the land
are now conducting successful stock
farms. Mrs. Phebe Tabor Willetts is tie
posseSsor of a fancy stock farm at Ros-
iyn, n. Y. She started first to make
butter, which found ready sale, but she
soon realized the necessity of having
first class cows to make first class but
ter, so she turned her attention TO the
breeding and raising of Guernsey cattle,
at which she made signal success.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1898-11-09

The late Due de Sagan used 10 relate
this story: King Frederick William
Ill was very spsring of words, as j:
well known. bat enc day he was told
there was at Toplitz. where lie was then
drinking the waters, Hungarian mag
nate still less talkative than the king.
An opportunity for meeting was soon
managed. and the following converse
ton took place, the king beginning
Bathing:' Drinking Soldier Mil
hcnaire. Coed. Policeman King.
Compliments
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1898-11-09

The first amateur pictures on dry
plates were made something after the
method employed by Charles Lambs
celebrated CbiDaman in obtaining roast
pig. The Chinaman burned his house
~ roast his pig. The amateur tore his
camera TO pieces 10 get his picture. The
first hand camera was a pasteboard box
containing one plate a piBhole served
as a lens and after the exposure OF the
plate the box was taken 70 the dark
room, cut open. and the plate extracted
This was rather expensive picture max
ing. and il was not long before a maya
zine camera was invented. and sudden
iy all the world began taking pictures
Elizabeth Flint Wade in St. Nicholas
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1898-11-09

ITO buy on tick''-that is. on credit
lis something that does not seem TO
have much connection with the move
ment of a clock. and yet it is a fgura-
tive reference TO tine same thing The
syllables "tick-taek-tock' are used ev-
erywbers 10 represent sharp, quick
sounds Of various kinds. with the move
meats that cause them. whence the tick
tack of a clock or the ticking Of any
quick, light motion, as the stroke of a
Pen or pencil that ticks off our or
ders. Hence to take a thing .on tick
is TO have it marked with a tick or
stIoke of the pen.-E. F. Andrews IN
st. Nicholas.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1898-11-09
Model Letter writers.

A Boston publishing firm that issues
school readers recently received the fol
lowing letters from rural school trus-
tees:
Ar | have baught all fables
Story Books and Novels am . Coin to
shal see the Board aboit il first
have Baught all School Books Reqnaird
! am Citing tieard Of Bying Novels
Yours,
Dear Sir
Can not Get no mobiles Cnovels) book
for Scool Book. he can reed Out Of his
Reeders and not Out OF the Fairtail
Stories Books Yours Truley
ssre4r RAN.
And did he fall on his knees when
be proposed!"
No, bat he was so ratified that be
stepped ON the cat and fell on his neck. "
-IndianaDolis Journal
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1898-11-09

The editor of The Clarion was a very
patient man. A startling crash from
Ihe direction of the composing room
caused him to push his spectacles upon
his brow and cease writing When he
found that the boy had let the first page
form fall On the floor, where it lay in
In incoherent mass, he shook his bead
reproachfully and exclaimed:
"Lemuel, do wish that you could
manage to break the news more gently. "
Washington Star
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1898-11-09
Al Old Friend.

A gentleman. while travelling on a
certain railway, got out at station
where the train stopped for a few min
utes and entered the refreshment room
His eyes resting ON basket containing
buns be suddenly burst into tears. The
sympathetic attendant gently asked
him what was the matter and elected
the following touching explanation:
"Pray excuse my emotion Twoyears
ago was travelling on this line on my
honeymoon. My wife came into this
refreshment room and scratched our mi
tials ON bun which see in this has
ket. | beg you to let me have it as q
tender souvenir Here is half dollar.
New York Ledger.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1898-11-09

It was in an aristocratic Hyde Park
home. The well trained English butler
had left, and the newly engaged man, a
Swede, was in process of breaking in
Callers came. aud he took the cards to
his mistress in his ungloved hands,
leaving the silver card tray resting
quietly in the hall.
"When yen bring things in here
Swenson, . said she. "use the tray. Ii
is net proper to bring them in your
hands -
"Yaas, he replied
Mrs. II Park had new toy terrier
The guests wished TO see it. and she sent
for Swenson TO fetch it.
Soon there was a succession of STAG
cato yelps and whines. The ioor open
ed, a very red faced Swensop appeared
with the silver tray in his left hand and
tiny dog terrier held firmly down on
it with the other. London Globe
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1898-11-09

Landlady-That new bcarde- is either
married or widower
Daughter-Why. mamma. he says
he's bachelor
Landiady-Doh't you believe he is
When he opens his pocketbook to pay
his board. he always turns his back to
me--Boston Bescon.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1898-11-09

pionship worth speaking about. She
has won the national and international
championships, and at Niagara-on-the-
Lake she defeated ail of the best women
tennis players Of Canada. Miss Atkin-
son lives in Brooklyn, and it was in
that city she learned the game that has
made her famous. She acquired such
striking skill so rapidly that her friends
urged her to get into the big tourna-
ments. When she did appear against
the crack players, her fame was assured.
Miss Atkinson in her fiercest bouts in
the court is always pale. She never
fiushes either in defeat or victory
Chicago Times Herald.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1898-11-09

In Norway women have for some
time been employed in the railroad and
postoffice service and are now receiving
appointments as supervisors of the rail
way stations. They receive reports from
conductors, answer questions in German
and English, call out trains in TIE wait
ing rooms, ring the station bell at the
departing of the train and telegraph its
departure to the next station. They per-
form the duties of government telegraph
operators as well as those Of postmasters
and baggagemen, and do them we'll -
Boston Globe.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1898-11-09

Mr.. Pneey had been run into by a
street car. He was taken TO the nearest
drug store, and a surgeon was hastily
summoned.
THE thigh bone is dislocated, " an
nounced the surgeon after a brief ex
animation
Here. you" be continued, turning
to muscular bystander and grasping
the sufferer firmly around the body
Pull his legp'
What Already groaned Mr.
Pneer, opening his eyes and placing his
hand on his pocketbook. = Chicago
Tribune
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1898-11-09

The party with the long hair and
starving family, not TO mention lesser
symptoms of the literary bent. was less
servile than usual
How about my pOemT' he brusquely
demanded.
.'She'sa bird. replied the conductor
of the magazine
What kind of bird:'' persisted the
man Of letters. thoroughly aroused
And the other. saying nothing. mere
ly indicated with gesture the pigeon
hole above his desk. k.-Detroit Journal
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1898-11-09

1t is stated that the merchandise car
led by rail IN the United States is dou-
bic the amount of land carriage Of all
the other nations Of the earth combined
This means that the 20. 600. 600 people
If the United States transport twice as
much merchandise as the remaining
!. 400. o5e. 900 Of mankind
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1898-11-09
A FAMOUS TeNNIs PLAYER.
A Young Woman who Is an Adept In the
Use of the Racket.

Miss Jniiette Atkinson. the eastern
tennis player who easily defeated the
best local talent at the Kenwood tourna-
nent, is a wonder amcng women ath-
letes. She was brought up IN tennis
courts, one may say, and while in her
teens could handle the racket with a
skill that was marvellous She has in
the past few years won every cham
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1898-11-09
More solemn sim.

at is a Solemn thing. said the
young man. when a woman trusts a
man with her affections
cit amt as solemn, said the man
with the dry goods neoktie, las when
she went trnst him with his own
wages "-Indianafol Journal
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1898-11-09

Two little tots Of and years re-
spectively. living ont Of town, were
anxiously awaiting the arrival of IA
vorite urcle from whom they were ex-
pecting visit The train came in, but
no guest appeared. to the bitter disap-
pointment Cf the little ones They ran
to their mother for consolation. the
younger one saying:
Mamma. don't ycu think Uncle
Ned oughter Gomez
"You mustn't say Oughter; say
shocder put in the 5-year-old. with
all the dignity that stth a correction
would imply New York Tribune.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1898-11-09

Mr Peck-What Is that book you are
reading. ny dearg
Mrs Peck-It's novel. entitled "a
Fatal Filtration. with such sad end
ing
Nr Peck-Somefhilg liko crrs.
presumes-London Fun.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1898-11-09

Long-I'm getting too stout for com
fort, but am unable TO find a remedy.
Short-It is said that nothing reduces
surplus flesh like worry.
Long-But have nothing 10 worry
the.
Short-WelI. just 70 help you. I'm
willing to let you lend me sl0.-Chi-
ravo News
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1898-11-09

Why dom { you play with
that American bcyg
Boyle tells stories.
Mother He dcoss
Boy Yes He came from New York,
ard he says be never saw an Indian or a
Lufalo. --Ls..don Sun.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1898-11-09

The Deecon-Young man. don't you
know that there's a rainy day comings
SpeHdthrift-Mebby there is. bat I've
got s. that says the weather nan won't
call the turn Come, now. If you've got
any nerve show your msney. Chicago
News
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1898-11-09
A Suffering
Soldier.

This setvaH fought for his country; suffered ar
told haydsllbs, and returned z0fth health shattered
Many a 6ya9e solaIe, las the same history. To-day
Iz,, one yeioes IN ae5s.t0yzd strength and tells his
experience to benefit others
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1898-11-09

Little Ruth-Mr. Thmith, who did
you kill for thithta's diamond rings
Mr. Smith-Nobody, dear What
makes You ask such question?
Little Ruth-Why. Tom, he thaid
she'd a never got it if you hadn't hung
thomebody up for it--Iewelers' Week
lv
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1898-11-09

For more than 800 years a drapery
business has been carried on inthe same
building at Sheffield. under the title Of
the Sign of the Crowne, and since 1850
the business has been conducted by one
familv
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1898-11-09

Il had supposed until yesterday,
doctor. that the days Of the bleeding Of
patients were past. %
And 50 they are But what changed
your minds''
The bill you sent me. Harper 5
Weekly
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1898-11-09

Fifty years ago Austria had seven
cities with more than 20. 600 inhabi-
tants Today there are 32.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1898-11-09

"Dcetor, where did you get that
beautiful scaFfpins'
"From my first patient.
"Inheritanceg" -Fliegende Blatter
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1898-11-09
Nerve.

Nerve is that faculty which enables
ps to put ON airs in the presence Of our
own family Chicago Record
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1898-11-09

In fasting .feats the sect of Jains. in
India. is far ahead Of all rivals Fasts
Of from 80 to 40 days are not uncom-
mon
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1898-11-09

Profanity is forbidden by both the
army and the navy regulations Of the
United States
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1898-11-09

For every widower who marries a
widow there are II who espouse maid
ems
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1898-11-09

The growth Of girls is greatest in
their fifteenth year. of boys in their
seventeenth.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1898-11-09
CONDENSED TIME TABLES.
Baltimore and Ohio Railroad.
Somerset and Cambria Branch.

SOKTHwARD.
Johnsfown Mali Esxpress.-RockwOod ll:l0 a.
m Somerset ll.aSf. StOyestown IZ.U2, HoOv-
ersville LTD, Johnstown 100 p. m
sIobnstown Observation-Disclosures 5:lb
D. m. Somerset 5s39 StoyestOwu6-O7, Hoov-
ersville6.ls, Johnstown 100.
SOUTHWARK.
sMaIl.-Johnstown $50 am, ,Hooversvil he 9:ls
StOyestOwn 9ss3, SOmeret l0.l lockwood
500, Stoyestown BIB, Somerset So, Rock
wood 4:l5.
D. B. MARTIN,
Manager OF Passenger Traffic.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1898-12-29
AFTER MILES
Commissary General Egan Objects
to References to His De-
partment,
AS Alleged to Have Been Used by
General Miles on Two
Occasions.
Will First Ask the General Com
handing If He Has Been Cor
rectly Quoted.
Then He. Will See What He Can
Do About It in an Official
Way.

WAsHINaToN, Dec. &c. - General
Eagan, commissary general of subsis-
tence, gsveo Out the following statement
in reference to his contemplated action
on statements made by General Miles
concerning commissary supplies fur
nished the army:
General Eagan has referred to Gen
eral Miles the published article pur-
porting to be- an interview with General
Miles in regard to the military supplies,
asking whether the statements attrib-
uted to him General Miles, were made
by him, or any of them, or which of
them, or to what extent the statements
are correct. General Eagan does not
propose to discuss this very serious mat
ter in the public press, but has asked,
first, if General Miles avows or dis
avows this interview, and has also asked
the investigating commission for true
copy of the statements (that were not
sworn toy made by General Miles
before it. General Eagan has also
asked the investigating commission to
be called before it for the purpose of
rebutting and refuting the statements
alleged to have been made by General
Miles and published in the press; to an
swer these or any statements made by
General Miles, under oath, and espec-
tally and particularly to meet the al
legged charge of furnishing anything
whatever, under pretense of expert
ment. General Eagan is of the opin-
ion that the proper place to discuss the
merits of this matter is before the in
vestigating commission. and before the
courts, civil and military, where the
widest latitude will be given to all
concerned; where the conduct of Gen
eral Miles and the conduct of General
Eagan, under oath, may have the full
est, most exhaustive examination and
analysis, concerning any or all charges
that may be brought by either, to the
end that justice shall be done In view
of this already inaugurated action, Gen
eral Eagan deems it unmilitary and i'm
proper to make charges against anybody
whatever in the service, but thinks the
law, military and civil, is ample to be
invoked in the cause of truth and JUS
tice. General Eagan contents himself
with complete denial of the statements
alleged by General Miles,
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1898-12-29
UNIVERSAL Discomfort.
Native Soldiers at Malalos Levy on Citi
zens for Food-Other Manila News.

Native Soldiers at MalalOs Levy on Citi-
zens for Food-Other Manila News.
MANILA, Dec. 26.-The steamer
Union, which returned here from noilo
with native and Spanish soldiers who
were refused landing at this place,
has been detained by the commercial
officials.
Private advices from the southern
provinces say that business is suspended
in all the leading towns, that supplies
are scarce, and that foreigners are only
permitted to travel when special per-
mits have been issued to them.
At Malalos, the headquarters OF the
so-called Philippine government, near
here, the native soldiers are levying on
the villagers for supplies Of food, the
people are half starved and universal
dissatisfaction prevails.
American volunteers to the number
of COB attended an enthusiastic meeting
of the newly formed Philippine devel-
kpment association here yesterday even
ing. o. F. Williams, the United States
consul. at Manila, presided. Definite
action on the part Of the organization
was postponed pending the decision OF
General Otis ON certain matters.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1898-12-29
wo pointed questions


What is the use of making better
rticle than your competitor if you
an get better price for it?
Ans.-As there is no difference in
he price the public will buy only the
.etter, so that while our profits may
e smaller on a single sale they will
re much greater in the aggregate.
How can you get the public to know
our make is the best? ~.
If both articles are brought promi-
iently before the public both are Ger.
ain to be tried and the public will
5ery quickly pass Judgment on them
md use only the better one.
This explains the large sale on
Chamberlain's Cough Remedy. The
people have been using it for years
and have found that it can always be
depended upon. They may occasion.
ally take up with some fashionable
aovelty put forth with exaggerated
claims, but are certain to return to the
one remedy that they know to be re-
liable, and for coughs, colds and
Group there is nothing equal to Cham
berlain's Cough Remedy. For sale by
Hanson 4 Emerson.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1898-12-29
LEFT 1T TO OTIS.
War Department Concludes to Trust His
Judgment as to IloilO.

War Department Concludes to Trust His
Judgment as to Iloilo.
WASHINGTON, Dec. 26.-The admins
tration has determined to confide to the
Judgment and tact of General Otis, in
command of the United States forces in
the Philippines thequestion whether our
troops shall be dispatched to Ioilo,
where recent Spanish reports have
stated that sanguinary conflict is in
progress between the insurgents and
the remaining Spanish troops. Some
days ago General Otis asked the war
department if any precise instructions
We're to be given in his dealing with the
situation at Iloilo. The matter was
fully canvassed by the president and
Secretary Alger, and as result the de-
cisiOn was reached to let General Otis,
on the ground, deal with the situation
by the exercise of his own discretion.
The reply was sent to General Otis sew
eral days ago, and it will be for him to
decide whether United States force
shall go to Iloilo and how many men
will constitute the force.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1898-12-29
Try Aliens Foot. Ease

powder to be shaken into the shoes. At
this season your feet feel swollen. nervous
and hot, and get tired easily. If you have
smarting feet Or tight shoes, try Aliens
Foot-Ease. 1t cools the feet and makes
walking easy. Cures swollen and sweating
sect, bIisters and callous spots. Relieves
corns and bunions of all pain and gives rest
and comfort. Try it to-day. Sold by all
druggists and shoe stores for 25c. Trial
package Free. Address, Allen S. Olmsted,
lie Pow, N
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1898-12-29
CephaIotus the Iufallible Head.
ache Cure.

1t is universally conceded its equal
does not exist. 1t is al absolute sure
cure for the most obstinate case of
nervous and sick headache, and will
in any case give relief in fifteen min
utes. Once tried you will never be
without it. Price. Zoe. for package of
3 powders Or 8 packages of 9 powders
for 25c. Don't fail to try it.
MARSH MANCFACTURING,C CO.
53S w. Lake-st., Chicago.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1898-12-29
A Brute.

Mrs. Greene hear that Sarah Jun
son is going to get divorce from her
husband.
Mrs. Brownies, and don't blame
her one mite. He's monster. Would
you believe it, he actually used one Of
her golf sticks for a poker the other
morning !-Boston Transcript
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1898-12-29
A Card.

We, the undersigned, do hereby
agree to refund the money on so cent
bottle of Greene's Warranted Syrup
of Tar if it fails to cure your cough
or cold. We also guarantee 25.cent
bottle to prove satisfactory or money
refunded. Hanson & Emerson. ~
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1898-12-29

Lucian T. Troutman, lately badly in.
volved as secretary of the st. Cloud
Building association, and who was
saved from the penitentiary through the
good offices of brother, is dead at Jack
sonville, Fla, from typhoid fever fol.
lowing nervous prostration. He carried
S6. 600 life insurance.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1898-12-29

Scalds, Burns, Old Sores Tumors,
Piles, are all relieved at once, and in
tinee ffectually cured by the use of that
perfect ointment, Beggs' German
Salve. Ask your druggist for sample
and take no other. For sale by j. B.
Perkins.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1898-12-29

The annual meeting of the Pillsbury-
Washburn Flour Mills company was
held Friday. The report of the direct.
ors shows that the net profits for the
year are about S4S0,000, which amount,
with an addition of about $4,000 from
the reserve fund. will pay interest on
the debenture bonds. preferred stock
and income. certificates.
Little Falls has offered the electric
light and water company at that place
$4,000 for its plant, and accompanies
the offer with conditions that will prob
ably make it advisable for the company
RI accent
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1898-12-29
Relief In SIX Hours.

stressing Kidney and Bladder, aiseases
relieved in six hours by the s.New Great
South America Kidney Cure" 1t is great
surprise on account or its exceeding prompt
ness in relieving pain in bladder. kidneys
and back, in male or female. Relieves re.
tention OF water almost Immediately. If yor
want quick relief and cure this is the Rem
edy. Sole by Scheldrup & Fiesler.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1898-12-29
DIR, Fenner,s Kidney md Esnckache
Cure.

If you suffer from kidney, bladder
or urinary, troubles take this wonder
full remedy, it is prepared by an emf
nent physician, a writer OF ac-
knowledged authority on medical
questions. Old gentlemen troubled by
too frequent urine always find a cure
result from using it, Soheldrup &
Fiesle1, sole agents will refund your
money if not satisfied after using the
first bottle.