Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1898-01-20
HASAE!s|!!kfu1,
3 -

DOESN'T IL make you Sau Wnen you
think of the poorY why, no, not par
tIcularly. 1t makes me mad, though,
when l think OF the rich."-Indlanap-
oils Journal.
Mrs. Newed-"Was l nervous, dear.
during the ceremony" Miss Spitegirl
--"Well, trife at first, darling. but
not after William had. said yes
Truth.
Not Spoiled by Fortune.-Anna-And
her uncle left her al that money! Has
1t changed her at all? Belle-No, In
deed! She Is just as enthusiastic as
ever over S9-cent silk marked down
from one-sixty.-Puck.
Precoclous Juvenile Mamma, 1t isn't
good grammar to say after L. Is 1t?
His Mother-No, George. Precocious
Juvenile-W the letter comes after
/. Which is wrong. the grammar or
the alphabet?-Chicago Tribune. 40
Miss Antique-This young turkey.
don't believe you, sir Butcher-It Is
a young turkey, mum. Miss Antique
Young! Young as compared with
what? Butcher-The pyramids err yer
own sweet self, mum-Harpers Bazaar.
"Maude says she doesn't care two
cents for him.. THAT is no sign she
does no. think lot of him. Just think
how women will fight for bargains that
are marked from $3.50 to $3.4S."-In-
dianapolis Journal.
First Chappie-'I wonder now, Chol-
lie, how the donkey ever came to be
used as the-er-emblem of stupidityY
Second Chappie with yawn)-"Don't
know, I'm sure, deah boy; must have
been before our day."-Brooklyn Life.
ITS perfectly absurd, this clamor
about our hats. People who can't see
over them would better not go to the
theater." II know; that's what l told
my husband; and he said: All right.
we won't CO. and we on't."-Harper's
Bazaar.
Brown-"Ah, Smith, let me Introduce
you to Mr.. Cayley Colt. I'm sureyou've
read his famous books!' Smith-"N-n-
no. I'm afraid haven't had the pleas
ure.' Brown-"Oh, of course you have.
my dear fellow, but you've forgotten
that's it."-Pupch.
A Dangerous I.ocality-First Tramp
pointing to scarecrow in a cOrnfield)
Look. Lopkee there!" Second
Tramp-"My! My! We must git out O.
this, double quick. They've caught one
of us fellows and nailed him to a pole"
New York Weekly.
Mrs. Spriggins = where's your
daughter, Mrs. Wiggins?" Mrs. Wig
gins-"She's gone to the cooking school.
And that reminds me, L must go into
the kitchen and get supper, for she'll
be as hungry as n bear when she gets
home. New York Weekly.
my dear old friend, how were you
able to acquire such an immense for
tune" by very simple method"
"Wn:' method was that?" when 1
was poor / made out that l was rich
and when | got rich made out that l
was poor"-Odds and Ends.
| Mr.. Durham: II have called, sir, to
| tell you that your daughter, Miss Fan
| ME, and l love each other very dearly.
| / want to ask you for her." Old Mil
| lyuns-"Well, you'll have to wait
| awhile. There's no vacancy in the
store now that could put you into
Cleveland Leader.
| zone time" said the travelled board
| or, II got showed in on the Rocky
| Mountains, and the only thing seven of
us had for two days to sustain life was
a half barrel of picked pigs feet"
You were, indeed" said the cheerful
| idiot, reduced to extremities."-In
annapolis Journal.
| Hiram Oatbin-"Them people in the
big cities is gittin' so alfred enterpris-
| in that they're bound to have clear
skies above 'em ev'ry day" Ike Stub
bles-"How d. We make that out, HIP"
| Hiram Oatbin-'Look at the fortunes
they are payin out fer them sky scrap
ers."-Up to Date.
"An author" said the practical lit
| terateur, fought to know several lam
guages.' "Of course he ought" re-
piled his fellow-craftsman. THE field
has been so well worked that there is
no longer any use of reading old Eng
l.sh books in search of original IDEAS"
| w
He-''These shoemakers are pretty
well up to the vanity of women. have
it on reliable authority that they hit on
the trick Of putting smaller numbers in
women's Shoes She--'Yes; and IL Is
also said that the hatters are number
ing mems hats size higher. There's"
Cincinnati Enquirer.
"Fwat's this hear about you soalin'
a Chinyman wild brickT' asked Mr..
Hogan Il did," admitted young 10
gan. "Niver let me hear av tn like
again. Always br'realS brick in two
and soak your man twice. You young
Americans are much too wasteful."-
Indianapolis Journal.
"Wrl she have him?'' was the ques-
ton they asked. cit would be waste
Of time to answer the question" sug-
gested the cynic, because 1t Is not
properly worded The question should
read: Can she get himY "As Is usual
~ the case, they found upon investiga-
ton that he was one of the men who
have received the mitten in several diff
ferent forms. Chicago Post. ~
Serious misunderstanding. -"Oh, I
had an awful time with that hackman
last nightw Tell u.s. II gave him n
little extra change to get himself some
thing to warm up with while he was