Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1898-03-10
HOW TO BE a BELLE.
Department Hints for the SOciet.
EIedgIing.

An old woman who has been through
that maelstrom called society offers the
following hints to her younger sisters
who are about to make their first plunge
into the whirl.
at takes some months" she says, Gin
many cases years, of the worlds fine
polishing to soften the little rough
nesses and those thousand and one in
completeness that embitter extreme
youth and turn every want of attention,
every slip of other peoples tongues, into
perfect regiment of sights.
I'm this manner many n girls first
year of social life is anything but the
unalIoyed happiness of which she has
dreamed.
"The first lesson for debutante to
learn is that she is not the only de-
butante in the room, and that every eye
is by no means fixed upon her. Re
member that each little debutante is
Just as much occupied with herself as
you are, and each mother who sits
ranged against the wall is thinking
very deeply of her own particular little
duckling that has turned so suddenly
into a swan. To realize this fact-that
is. that every one is not looking al you
may be a shock TO the vanity, but it will
do more to lessen that painful shyness
so wisely called by the French faux
haute than anything else in the world.
mo one really knows or remembers
whether you were out in n certain fig
0f 10 ard &c
are left alone there is no use in worry
ing and feeling mortified until by the
time some one does turn up you have
not the spirit left to make yourself
agreeable.
"Reing n belle is often the nerest ac-
cident. a girl may have lot of cousins
and brothers. who, with their friends,
are determined to make her n success.
Then, again, her parents may have
asked a lot of people TO some entertain
ment, and from decency. not snobbish-
ness. the men who have been invited
are bound to meet and show her some
attention.
''In all probability you are just as at
tractive as this particular girl who is
tue ttlAtI AllllG. anu W Oht
the very men who are showing her at
tention for the reasons I have men
toned know il. This is n most ccnsol-
ing thought if you happen to be left
alone.
"The most absolute necessity for be-
ing a favorite in every sense of the word
is sweetness. Not surface sweetness,
but that genuine kindliness of heart
which makes us considerate for all
about us at home as well rs abroad. and
which is just as sure to make itself evil
dent as the tea rose is bound to exhale
its exquisite perfume.
Never say mean things about any
one. Your hearers may laugh at the
time. but instinctively they feel they
may be the next to suffer. and one by
one they will drop away from you. for
there is nothing so absolutely killing
as ridicule.
''Never try to keep man with you
against his will. You may succeed very
well for once or twice. but he is bound
to feel more or less stuck and in the
end will avoid you. After all, your
belledom is not for one or two years.
but perhaps for good many. especially
in America. where the girls marry late,
and you don't want to make friends for
only one season.
Accept attention with so sweet n
willingness that the other will be posi-
lively glad he offered it. and if you have
TO decline, do it as graciously and as
kindly as you can.
'Never be late for a dinner or keep
anyone waiting. and make point of al
ways speaking as soon as possible. and
most deferentially. TO the elderly peo-
pie in a room.
with these small hints as To the man.
ners and the greater one as TO sweetness
which should he i'm our lives what the
warp is in some beautiful piece of tapes
try, a young girl can thoroughly enjoy
life and find a warm place in the hearts
about her" Baltimore Sun.