Gloucester County Democrat. (Woodbury, N.J.) 1878-1932, 1898-02-24
A BRIDE CONTEST.


Had the man from Raccoon valley
dropped dynamite shell in the redhot
stove, he could not have surprised the
store more than he did by the purchase
of three glass pitchers. The store was
dumfounded. but, always slow to evince
emotion of any kind, it said nothing
until the stranger had taken chair,
placed his basketful Of glassware at his
feet, lighted penny cigar and shown
his intention to linger awhile, provid-
ing he found things pleasant
Then the man with the bushy whis-
kers who was lolling ON the counter
shufled his feet in warning and at
length said, 81 low you must drink a
heap of water up your way y
The storekeeper strolled around from
behind the counter and, taking post
with his back to the stove and his eyes
fastened ON the transom over the front
door, ventured in an indifferent way,
Yes, you must drink heap Of wotter
to buy dollar an half worth O.
pitchers at onct. .
The stranger grinned again.
"Perhaps he don t drink only water, y
came from the man who was rocking on
a nail keg behind the stove.
"They hahn t fer wotter, but fer wed .
din presents, said the stranger.
mighty souls A triple weddinl"
cried the storekeeper. "Well, you uns
-uz up in Raccoon valley do beat allp'
"This here petic'la instance do beat
all, l admit, said the man who hailed
from that small but important part of
the state of Pennsylvania. 1.-The blue
pitchers fer Teacher Perry, the green
un fer Jakey Wingle, old Jawhn Win
gle's son; the plain un s fer Hen Har-
mon :"
And the store lifted up its voice in
one grand Mighty soulsl'
The stranger rubbed his hand through
his long beard and grinned again.
sIt's nine mile to Raccoon valley
It's kinder an outen the way, ahint the
time sort q a pIacet, an I've never ben
there an don't know them as you un
has spoken of, y said the man on the
counter. But you mowt tell us of it.
"Gwonl' cried the rest of the gath
ering.
81 low if you don't know Teacher
Perry, or Jawhn Wingle's son Jakey,
or Hen Harmon, you uns mowt o. heard
o. Squire Kramer, amt you?n
The store had not, and the stranger
said, Mighty soulsP'
Having thus expressed his surprise at
the ignorance about him, he continued:
"Well, not hevin heard O. Squire Kra-
mer, o. course you uns hain't heard o.
his twins, Flory an Pet Them was
girls The pretties in Raccoon valley,
or any other valley, fer that matter
II year old, feet inch high, weighin
scant hundred an twelve pound, slim,
yeller hair, musklar. He'd | BEN a
younger man | might o. gone in the
fight with Teacher Perry, ,Jakey Wingle
an Hen Harmon, but gettin near to so
as am, with missus and seven lit
tie uns at home, lef' the fiel' to them,
an high time they an them twins he'd
o. it. 1t was case O. the three O. EN-
courtin the two O. EN-, fer if Teacher
Perry, or Jake Wingle, .Jawhn Wingle's
son, or Hen Harmon went over to
Kramer's he never set up with any
pete lar twin, but with whichever he
seen first
"About corn cuttin time Teacher Per-
ry goes over to Squire Kramer's, an he
sais sais he, Squire. | want one O.
your twin dotters.
Which un?' sails the squire.
"'I've no idee, sails Teacher Perry,
scratchin his head, kinder puzzled like.
''Jest then up comes Hen Harmon an
Jake Wingle, Jawhn Wingle's son.
Squire, sails Jake, kinder hustered
like, fer fear the teacher he'd got ahead
O. him, me an Hen each wants one O.
'em twins
Squire Kramer, he thot piece, an
then sais, sails he: Boys, they's three
O. you tns an two o the twins. One O.
you uns has got to git left Which un?'
'sThe three o EN- kind o looked fool
ish like. an Squire Kramer cast his eye
down over his 20 acre fiel o tall, straight
corn
6. Which UNI? he asked ag in after
bit
"Gittin no answer, he says: See
yander fiel o corn! Well, I'll tell you
what we'll do Well decidesthis here
matter by corn cuttin tournyment.
The two fellers thtt cuts the most corn
in two hours time kin have the twins.
The one feller that cuts the most kin
hev the first pick atween Flory an Pet.
!" An so they agreed
Well, sirs, tibet there corn cuttin
tournyment was the grandest thing /
ever seen. All the folks in the valley
knowed 0 it an come to look on. There
was fully so buggies hitched along the
fence when the squire give the word an
Teacher Perry an Jake Wingle an Hen
Harmon fell to cuttin. Have seen a
heapo corn cut in my day, but never
sen the beat O. the way them boys