The herald., 1898-01-24
HUMORS OF THE LAW
ADDRESS BEFORE OKLAHOMA
BAR ASSOCIATION
How the Border Justice Used to Decide
Cases in Jurisdiction He
Presided Over

1
| tice." He said, among other things:
During the last six years l have
practiced law in the Sac and Fox In
dian country. have right to know
something of the humor of the profess
sion. At first we practiced without
books, forms or legal precedents, with
Winchester rifles as our rules of court;
but since Parson Ivy shot John En-
right for objecting to question at Cham
dler, a few years ago, the practice has
improved.
mot thousand miles from here, the
boys once turned out and elected one OF
our best citizens a justice of the peace,in
his township, We serenaded him with
band; we called him Judge and
invited him to make us a speech. After
his election we built him throne. and
installed him in office with great cere-
mony A case having been brought
before him, and the suggestion being
made that he should act in the capacity
of both judge and jury, the judge took
the suggestion seriously. Mounting his
throne, he heard the statements of the
case; he then swore himself in as jury
and went into the box and heard the
evidence; he then returned to his throne
and overruled a demurrer to the evil
dence; he then retired as a jury to con-
slider verdict. He ordered himself to
be locked up in a jury room by con-
stable. After remaining out six hours,
he returned into the box and announced
that the jury was unable to agree.
1T was Thomas Marshall of Kentucky,
that marvellous genius, lawyer, scholar
and orator, as grand a son as that proud
est of commonwealths ever produced,
who said: i believe in the prescience of
God; but in my opinion, there are two
things Providence knows nothing Of
one is who a woman will marry and the
other is how a justice of the peace will
decide a case
mot long ago Charles Kebolte of
Lincoln county was charged with con-
tempt of court by colored justice in
Logan county. He was arraigned for
trial, but asked to have witnesses. This
was denied, and Kebolte was sentenced
to Jail at Guthrie. At this point Kebolte
began to swear, and the court fined him
again. Kebolte kept on swearing and
the court kept on fixing fines, until the
sum of 900 was assessed against him.
At this point Kebolte said: This is all
coram non judice, anyhow and there
upon the court, thinking that he was
swearing again, said: L fine you $50 for
that
COURTING NOT FORBIDDEN
Judge Dale had just granted a de-
cree of divorce to colored preacher at
the last term of court at Chandler, when
the judge said to him: The law is that
you must not remarry within six
months The preacher had made all his
arrangements to marry again on the
same night, and this information was
a great disappointment to him. He in
quired: Jedge, what else DO the law
say? The judge replied: The law says
that you shall not remarry for six
months The darky then asked: But,
jedge, the law don't say thatI shant
court 'em little for six months, do it?'
When the judge told him that the law
did not prohibit divorced people from
courting, the darky's face frightened
and his white teeth could have been
seen a quarter of a mile away.
zone of the rarest bits of humor /
ever heard, as coming from the bench,
was perpetrated by the learned associate
justice Of our supreme court, Hon. A. ].
Seay a gentleman noted everywhere
for his clever witticisms. The judge
was passing sentence upon defendant
who had been convicted of an infraction
Of the gambling laws. He had intended
to be quite lenient in the matter of pun
ishment. The judge had said that the
court would impose fine of $10O in this
case, and was about to stop, thinking
that that would about fit the offense
But the gambler got too gay and re-
marked: Hell, that's nothing; I've got
that right here in my hip pocket And,
continued the judge, six months in jail
have you got that in your hip pocket?'
Dave Brown is darky with blotches
on his face and rings in his ears. Dave
thought that all kinds of legal docu-
ments were transferable, like negotia-
BILE paper. He got marriage license
from Judge Cornell. and when the girl
went back on him Dave wanted to sell
the license to anybody else who wanted
to get married. He finally became en-
gagged again and appeared before the
Judge and said he wanted to purchase
the very strongest set of divorce pa
pers the judge could get out of the cote.
Have you and your wife had trouble?
asked the judge. NO, sah,' said Dave;
we amt dun been and took on the
shackles of matrimony yet What, not
married yet. and asking for divorce pa
pers?' Yes, sab; I wants dem papers
whar ] can forthwith bolish the lady
with 'em eff she grows obstreperous;
believe in de principle, jedge, in time of
peace, sab, prepare for wah.'
A STORY OF BUFFALO" JONES
when, lived at Garden City, Kan,
I had my office with Buffalo Jones. Mr..
Jones always thought he could tell when
man was lying. Bob Hopkins had a
desperate lawsuit in which the evidence
was all against his man. The story of the
prosecuting witness was clear and con-
vincing. If unshaken, it meant con-
viction for the man Bob was defending.
Bob thought of Buffalo Jones and had
him called to the witness stand as an
expert ON liars. When Mr.. Jones en-
tered the room the justice said he knew
| Mr. Jones, and it was not worth while
to swear him. Mr.. Jones was at that time
a millionaire and owned three herds of
buffalo and was the king Of all he sur
veyed in Southwest Kansas. The evil
dence of the prosecuting witness was re-
peated to Mr.. Jones, and he was asked
| his opinion as to it's truthfulness. Mr.
Jones pointed out several discrepancies
in the testimony, and then said he want
ed to see the witness. After looking the