davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1898-03-08
ALLEGED FUN.

Teacher-You are painfully slow
with figures, Tommy. Come, now.
speak up quickly. If your father gave
your mother a $50 bill, what would she
have3
Tommy-A ft.-Harper's Bazaar.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1898-03-08

salt is something that makes bread
taste mighty bad if you don't put any
in" was the schooIboy's definition
Exchange.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1898-03-08

I don't think enough has been said
about old maids or sptnsters. II any
"a is sick an old maid is sent for TO
como and nurse them and if q mother
wants TO make q visit at any time and
thsre 10 an old maid in the family she
10 sent for to keep house and take care
OF every thing until the mother re
turns. So it is in a great many other
things, but if this useful old maid lie
particular and wants things kept nice,
and takes a little authority, they lose
sight Of the many good qualities and
she 10 called . ''pressy old maid, :" and
mo n can please her." One of the
noblest and most sacrificing women I
ever knew was an old maid. Never
had q sweetheart in her life. And she
laughs and tells us that she never
heard any love chat, land she isn't
ugly either If a woman wishes to
waste her fragrance ON the desert
air." we have no right to oensure her
for it, but I think human affection the
dearest and sweetest of all the gifts OF
God.-Wake.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1898-03-08

see such a piece of foolery
as building this enormous
bridge over q miserable
little stream no wider
than a gutterI Old Har-
rison must be stark mad
and no mistaken"
If I were he," replied
Jack, I'D sell the bridge
oDd bTIu anna wntar
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1898-03-08

There never was a day that did not
bring it's opportunity for doing good
that never could have been done be-
fore, and never can be again. 1t must
be improved then or never.-Ex.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1898-03-08

to see them make quilts. think they
are pretty and nice. Girls should
study their books and have an educa.
ton il they can. know a little verse
that / will write for the girls.
Don't be in a hurry to speak an angry
word,
Don't be in a hurry to speak the tale
you have heard,
Don't be in a hurry with evil enes to
And don't be in a hurry to answer
yes" or no"
Girls I am N old married lady and
wish you all SUCCESS. like Tn Pro
GREssTvR FARMER splendidly.-S. T.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1898-03-08

Guggenheimer-Say, Ikey, how de
you get into all de theayters free Of
COST
R0senthal-I hat a greadt scmeme. I
go in backwards, an de dicked golleG-
tor thinks I'm comin' ouds.-PhiladeI-
phia North American.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1898-03-08

The little worries which we meet each
day
May lie as stumbling blocks across our
way;
Or we may make thern stepping stones
OF grace, o God, to Thee.
"A. e. Hamilton.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1898-03-08
Govern thv lips

Govern thy lips
AS they were palace doors, the king
within,
Tranquil and fair and courteous be all
words
Which from that presence win.
Edwin Arnold.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1898-03-08

Mamma-Well, Elsie, what did you
learn ct school to-day2
Elsie Jagged six)-Learned to spell.
Mamma-Now, what did you learn
to spell7
Eisie-Man.
Mamma-And how do you spell
mani
Elsie (promptly)-M a n, nan
Mamma-Now, how do you spell
boy3
Elsie (af6er q moments ref1ection)-
The same way, only in hitler letters
Town and Country Journal.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1898-03-08

To the gives shall be given;
II thou Wouldst walk in light
Make other spirits bright;
Who, seeking for himself alone,
ever entered heaven3-O Seymour.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1898-03-08

Tornado Tom-So Ike's gone to visit
his father, has he9 That must have
been his uncle then that we lynched
year afore last for horse stealing.
Sheriff OF Tombstone Oh, no; that
was his father. That's the teller he's
gone to visit.-Judge.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1898-03-08
9t Bay on tbs Bridge.
OF
BY DAVID KER .

~SA
SAY Jack. did YOU eve.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1898-12-20
JAPAN is WITH US.
Favors the Expansion Policy of the
United states-HiHh Estima-
tion Of Admiral Dewey.

Seattle, Wash, Dec. 19.-Commander
I. Mori. whosis on his way to San Fran
cisco to take charge of the lew Jap
anese cruiser Chitose, says the policy
of expansion which has been adopted
by the United States receives the most
cordial support of the japanese from
sentimental and commercial reasons.
Commander Mori places Admiral
Dewey in the same class with Admirals
Itoe and Nelson. HE is not only a
great gnaval officer" said he, ssbut q
general and a statesman He did not
know Admiral Dewey personally, but
he saw the result of his work, having
arrived at Manila in command of the
cruiser Naniwa to look out for Japan
ese interests there.
Commander Mori thinks a consider
able portion of the future contracts
for warships will be let to American
firms. One of the principal reasons
of this, aside from the superior work
manship, will be because the United
States is near to the home country, so
that the vessels can be taken across
the Pacific without long voyage
through the Suez canal or around the
Cane of Good Hope
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1898-12-20
sends a Peace oRerinr.

Middletown, Conn, Dec. 19.-It is
stated on the authority of member of
the committee appointed to make an
investigation of the SO called Jernegan
process of extracting gold from sea
water, that Rev. z. F. Jernegan. form
erly of this city. who is nowin Brussels,
has actually sent to the directors ofthe
Electrolyric Marine Salt company $751;
900 in cash as sort of peace offering
preliminary to his return to the United
States with his family. Jernegan con-
verted all his stock and securities into
cash previous to going abroad. and it
is nearly one-third of the proceeds that
he has returned,
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1898-12-20
TO RESIGN PORTFOLIOS.
Spanish Ministers Will Place Their
designations In Hands of
thu Queen.

Madrid, Dec. 19.-It is semi-ofhcially
announced that the Spanish ministers
will place their designations in the
hands of the queen regent Tuesday.
The friends of both Premier Sagasta
and Senior Montero Rios declare they
are in full accord on all questions of
policy.
The most discussed solutions of the
crisis are a sagasta ministry to include
among its members Gen. Weyler, Senior
halnero Robledo and Senor Canalejas
y Mendez, Montero Rios ministry
comprising representatives of the diff.
ferent groups of the majority, or Mar
tinez de Campos ministry, including
Senor Silvela and other conservatives.
lii the event of the first or the last,
the cortes will be dissolved.
The general commanding the north
ern army has proclaimed the closure
from Tuesday of all the Carlist clubs
and societies in his district.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1898-12-20
ANXIOUS TO GET THROUGH.
Speech Making Is Curtailed at the
Convention of the American
Federation of Labor.

Kansas City, Mo-, Dec. 10. - The
American Federation of Labor opened
the second week of its annual conven
ton Monday with many resolutions
still not passed upon. The first six
days had seen delegates ready to talk
ad lib. on every measure presented.
Monday there was shown desire to
hurry through with the conventions
business and speech-making was left
for another time. Two resolutions
adopted at the morning session peti-
toned congress to pass bill giving to
the citizens of the District of Columbia
the same rights of franchise enjoyed
by the people of the states, and urging
the government ownership of a system
of telegraph lines and the adoption Of
a postal telegraph system.
This latter resolution was the same
stereotyped resolution introduced at
each annual convention and provides
for system of telegraph lines super.
vised by the postal department..
John M. Hanter, president of the
United Mine Workers of Illinois, shook
the convention up by reviewing the
strike of the miners at Virden, where
the strikers only obtained victory
after battle and bloodshed. A resolu-
tion was adopted thanking Gov. Tan
ner of Illinois for refusing to call out
the state troops to protect the mine
owners when they brought several
train loads of negroes from the south
to take the places of the striking MIN
erS
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1898-12-20
New York Volunteers. Land.

San Francisco. Dec. 19.-The third
battalion of the First New York regi-
ment, which arrived here in the trans
port Scandia. was landed in time to
witness the departure for home of their
comrades now here. The new arrivals
will be encamped at the Preside and
in week will be sent on to their
homes. They are in command of Maj.
]. L. Segue.
St. Louis, Dec. l5.-N special to the
Post Dispatch from staunton, ILL.,, says
that the man under arrest at Seattle,
Wash, under suspicion of being the
murderer of cx-State Senator Wall, is
not Otto Meining, the farm hand who
committed the crime. The son of Mr..
Wall is sure that he is not the man
wanted
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1898-12-20
LIE IN STATE.
Remains of Hon. Calvin Brice Reach
Lima, O.-The City Draped
In Mourning.

Lima, o., Dec. 19.--This city is draped
in mourning and business is suspended
while the remains of the late Calvin S.
Brice lie in state. When the funeral
train arrived Sunday the remains were
escorted by the &. A. II. posts, the
Union Veterans, the Elks and others
to the old Brice homestead. At nine
o'clock Monday the same solemn pro-
cession acted as escort to the First
mains We're viewed by thousands, while
old comrades did sentinel duty. The
pall-bearers were w. X. Boone, Walter
b. Ritchie, S. S. Wheeler. c. ID. Critics,
T. d. Robb, II. o. Holdridge, James B.
Townsend, J. B. Vaile, of Lima; w. E.
Hackdorn, of Indianapolis; Bernard
Layton, of Washington, and George w.
Hull, of Toledo.
The shops of the Lake Erie & West
ern railway were not only closed, but
elaborately draped. as were other
buildings. There were many visitors
from all parts of the country. Among
these in attendance with the family
We're Gen. Samuel Thomas, of New
York, and ex-Gov. Charles Foster, who
were closely associated with the de-
ceased for over 20 years. Gov. Bushnell
and staff We're also present. The old
homestead and the church We're both
literally filled with floral tributes.
The only member of the Brice fam
lily not present was his son Kirkpatrick,
who is in China, and no cablegrams
have yet been received in response to
those sent every day since the death oe
his father. The funeral services were
conducted at one p. m. by the pastor,
DR.. Robert Thompson, at the Market
Street Presbyterian church, of which
Senator and Mrs. Brice We're members
Dr. w. o. Thompson, president of
Miami university, at Oxford, o., deliv-
cred an address on ''The Dead as an
Example for Young Men," The choir
was in charge of Prof. Clark. Solos
were sung by Prof. j. H. Jones, in
Guiding "The Lord Is Mindful of His
Own" from Mendelssohn's Oratorio
"St. Paul. and Tennyson's "Crossing
the Bar" At the vault in Woodlawn
cemetery the choir rendered "Unyeil
Thy Bosom, Faithful Tomb" Owing
Fl ftAp large attendance of visitors, only
|Ia s1dafRp;ibt of those in attentlance
gafned admission to the church. esa
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1898-12-20
Bailey, Of Texas, Introduces q Reso-
luton Which Is Aimed at
Maj. Gen. Wheeler.
QUESTION OF HOLDING TWO OFFICES.
Holiday Recesn Fixed by House from
December 21 to January 4-senator
Mason Offers Resolution Providing
for Retaliation Against Germany
II She Excludes Our Meats.

Washington, Dec. 10. - Mr.. Bailey
(dem., Tex.), the leader of the minor
tty, created furry at the opening of
the session of the house Monday by Of
fering the following resolution for
reference to the committee on rules:
Resolved. that the committee on judi
ctary be and 1t is hereby instructed to
2 ascertain and report to this house,
l.Whether any member of the house
mas accepted any Office under the United
States; and
"2-Whether the acceptance Of such office
under the United States had vacated the
seat OF the member accepting 1t"
Holida. Recess.
Mr.. Dingley. from the committee on
ways and means, offered the resolution
! for holiday recess from Wednesday,
December 81, to Wednesday, January
and 1t was adopted without division.
"A special order was also adopted set
ting aside January $ for the considera-
ton Of bills reported by the judiciary
committee.
This being suspension day, Mr.. Wan
ger (rep.. Pa.) moved the passage un-
der suspension of the rules of the bill
for the proposed Philadelphia exposi-
tion Of American products and manu-
features in 1899.
Mr.. Bailey (dem., Tex) demanded a
second. When the result of the de-
mand was announced-s4 ayes, "a noes
MIR. Bailey made the point of no quo
rum. The speaker counted 1874 mem
bers present and declared the demand
seconded. This allowed 90 minutes on
= side for debate.
After debate the bill was passed,
142 to 20.
Contains Retaliatory Clause.
Washington, Dec. 19.-.rhe agricu1-
tural appropriation bill reported Mon
day contains retaliatory clause au-
thorizing the secretary of agriculture
TO inspect imported articles danger
ous to health, and also authorizing the
secretary of the treasury to exclude
such articles. The restriction is de-
signed to apply to a large number of
articles imported from foreign coun-
tries.
The clause is as follows:
1.-THE secretary of agriculture, whenever
no has reason to believe that articles are
being imported from foreign countries
which are dangerous to the health of the
people OF the United States, shall make a
request upon the secretary of the treas
ury for samples from original packages of
such articles for inspection and an an
alysis, and the secretary of the treasury
is hereby authorized to open such original
packages and deliver specimens to the sec
retary of agriculture for the purpose men
toned. And the secretary of the treas
ury shall refuse delivery of any goods
which the secretary of agriculture reports
to him have been inspected and analyzed
and found to be adulterated or otherwise
dangerous to health"
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1898-12-20

alleged outrages committru upon the
person OF Bishop Earl Cranston and other
American citizens in the city of Peking,
China, by subjects of the emperor Of China.
and what steps, IL any. have been taken
by the state department in the matter of
demanding suitable redress and indemnity
therefor
The resolution was agreed to at once.
Senator Cullom (Ill.) gave notice that
he would ask the senate.at the conclu-
sion of Senator Platt's speech to take
the anti-scalping bill from the table for
consideration.
Senator Chandler IN. H.) inquired If
1t was Senator Cullom's purpose not to
have the bill, referred to the interstate
commerce committee.
Senator Cullom replied that he pro-
posed to ask for consideration at this
time.
"Well, give notice, Mr.. President" /"
responded Senator Chandler, s'that
there are senators here who will insist
that the bill shall go to the committee" J"
Senator Sullivan (Miss.) protested
against what he termed ian extraor-
dinary proceeding" and demanded to
know what Senator Cullom's purpose
was.
II propose to call up the anti-scalp-
ing bill for consideration" replied
Senator Cullom. I'VE can discuss aues-
tions relating to the request when we
come to them"
Senator Teller (Col.) gave notice tina,
Tuesday he would address the senate
on Senator Vests anti-expansion reso-
luton.
Talks Against Vest Resolution.
In accordance with notice previous
ly given Senator Platt (Conn.) adj
dressed the senate opposing the resolu-
ton offered by Senator Vest (Io.), de-
claring that under the constitution of
the United States no power is given to
acquire territory to be held and gov
erned permanently as colonies.
Senator Gallinger Monday attempt-
ed to report favorably Senator Proc
tors resolution for committee Of five
senator's to visit Cuba. This required
unanimous consent and Senator Hale
objected. Senator Proctor said he
thought it was important to get infor-
nation. Senator Hale said he thought
it would be foolish thing to send a
committee there.
At two O'Clock the Nicaraguan canal
bill was informally laid aside to allow
Senator Platt to finish his speech. In
answer to an inquiry from Senator
Chandler, Senator Cullom said it was
not his intention torcall up the anti.
scalping bill during the day.
AT $3.50 the Nicaraguan canal bill
was taken up and Senator Berry (Ark.)
addressed the senate.
Would Substitute American Shippia--.
Washington, Dec. 1s.-Senator Han
ma introduced in the senate and Repre-
sentative Payne in the house bill to-
grant subsidies for American shipping.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1898-12-20
What the return. show.

The returns indicate that the man
who thinks Santa Claus is barren
myth is overwhelmingly defeated.
Eoston Herald.
St. Louis Dec. lo.-Wi.liam j. orth-
vein. acting for his father. Charles
f. Orthwein. on Saturday signed a.
check for So s,2sO 600 in payment for the
stock of the National Railway COM.
pany, which owned and operated what
are known as the Hamilton syndicate,
lines of street railroads in st. Louis.
The formal transfer of the property
will be made in Chicago to-day.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1898-12-20
Die. of Pneumonia.

New York, Dec. 19.-Rev. DR.. Thorn
as Mckee Brown, for 2s years rector of
the Protestant Episcopal church of ST.
Mary the Virgin, died of pneumonia.
DR.. Brown was leader in the rituals
tic movement in the Episcopal church,
his attitude SO antagonizing Bishop
Potter that for time the latter refused
TO- confirm classes in St. Mary the Vir-
gins church.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1898-12-20
WOULD RErALIATE.
senator Mason Oners Resolution to
Protect Our Trade with Germany.

1enatOr Mason Offers Revolution to
Protect Our Trade with Germany.
Washington. Dec. Ex-senator Ma
sson, of Illinois, Monday introduced in
the senate resolution directing the
committee on agriculture to inquire
into certain legislation pending before
the German reichstag, calculated to
prohibit the importation into Germany
of American sausages and other meat
products, and directing the committee
should the legislation become law, to
report Immediately bill to require the
inspection of sugars, meats, wines and
other food products which are import-
ed into this country from Germany.
The resolution went over until Tues
day. 1t is as follows:
.'Whcreas: 1t has come to the attention
OF the people of the United States that
there is pending in the German reichstag
legislation which Is calculated and intend-
ed to prohibit the expectation of Amer
ican sausages and other meat products
into Germany. be it. therefore.
sResolved, That the committee on ag-
ricdlture be herewith instructed to inquire
into such legislation, and IL the same be-
comes law, that said committee are In
Otructed to report forthwith bill to re-
Quire the inspection of sugars, meats.
wines and all other food products which
are imported into this country from the
empire of Germany"
Atthe opening of the senate's session
Monday the chaplain, in his invocation,
made touching reference to the affiic-
.tion of Senator Jones (Ark.), "over
whose threshold of late thrice has
passed the shadow of death, and one
of whose sons is i'll now.
The vice president announced the
committee on the centennial celebra-
tiGn OF the city of Washington as the
capital Of the nation as follows: Sem
ators Hoar, Hale, Perkins, Simon, Nc
Laurin, Clay and Turley. ~
A Joint Revolutions doh,
Senator Lodge (Mass.}, from he H6f-
eign relations committee, favofablyre-
ported the following joint resolution
and asked for its Immediate cons:dera
tion:
'sThat the president be. and Is hereby. re-
Quested to communicate to congress- SO fal
as the same may be done without detri
ment to public interests. all the informa-
.tion in his possession concerning certain
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1898-12-20
Disa.trou. Fire.

Syracuse, N. Y, Dec. 19.-Baldwins-
vile, located 12 miles north of this city.
was visited by disastrous fire. The
fire started in the plant of the Kenyon
Paper company and spread rapidly to a
building occupied by the new process
Raw Hide company and the stone mil!
of Hotaling & Co., the building occu-
pied by Clark, Mercer & Co. The loss.
estimated at $4,000, is nearly covered
by insurance.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1898-12-20
FortifyiMg Tahiti.

Auckland, New Zealand, Dec. 49,
Steamers which have just arrived here
report that the French are actively en-
gagged in fortifying Tahiti, the prin-,
c:pal island of tbs, Society group, which
is under the conttrr!o Of France. II !. =
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1898-12-20
THE LITTLE ONES. PRESENTS.
Santa Claus Furnishes the Trees,
But Fathers and Mothers Gifts
should BE Plainly Marked.

Ella Morris Kretschmar writes euter-
tainingly of "The Christmas Tree" in
the Woman's Home Companion, and in
the course of her article says:
"Do not make the mistake of hanging
gifts on the tree. The tree is from
Santa Claus, the gifts from family and
friends-a distinction which should be
made clear to each little mind. And
label each gift before placing it under
the tree-the proper place for all Christ
mas gifts. Santa Claus is sure TO be
given credit for anything anonymous.
The writer once received a shock not
easily forgotten. After much shopping,
supplemented by work at home, beau
tiful tree, with numerous gifts beneath,
gladdened the eyes and heart of her
one and only on Christmas morning.
Everything was duly enjoyed through
out the day. but in the twilight two lit
tie arms were slipped about mothers
neck and soft voice asked: Mother,
why is it that everybody gives me pref
ty things on Christmas but you and
father - Aunt Mary, Uncle Edwin,
Eloise, Mamie, all the rest of the fam
AAJ, anu CNCL NY 1A1SAStS>-hAA OuV JuSt
you? / would rather have something
from you than from anyone, even Santa
Claus
Think of it! After so much effort,
and no explanations possible! Santa
Claus still gets credit for the tree, but
mothers and fathers gifts are plainly
marked.
There are some parents whose con-
sciences are so painfully constructed
that to them the Santa Claus fiction
seems wicked falsehood not to be en-
couraged. We pity them and lament
their honesty. If consistent they must
frown upon all that mans Imagination
has done to adorn life, to embellish the
world. AS for Santa Claus, may he not
be regarded by the Christian as typical
Ct the giver of good gifts? And to the
honest nineeteenth-century pagan does
his coming not commemorate the birth
OF the acknowledged highest type Of
earthly man? Santa Claus needs NO
apologist. He has made lives better
and brighter since his first coming.
DO not regard the Christmas tree
bother, even if fatigue and sacrifice
are its price. Remember how rich YOU
are in having some one in your heart
and home who is expecting Santa Claus.
And remember the splendid privilege Of
comforting so much happiness"
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1898-12-20
Considered Unsafe.

San Francisco, Dec. 19.-The Call
says: The United States training
ship Adams is not likely to go to Samoa
or any port far away from home. She
may so to Magdalena for gun practice,
but the authorities may not even allow
her to go that far. Her spar deck beams
have opened up and other defects have
showed themselves, so the vessel is not
now considered safe for long voyage.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1898-12-20
Die. at Pn.adena, Cal.

Milwaukee, Dec. ia journal spe-
cial from Kenosha, Wis, says: Edward
Balm, president of the Balm Wagon
company, died Monday from heart
trouble ut Pasadena, Cal. Mr.. Balm was
rated Que of the richest men in south
err Wisconsin.