The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1898-11-07
Here, There, Everywbene.

The famous Glover Club of Philadelphia can
now boast of having entertained the presi-
dent Of the United States There's no dis
tinction on account of rank, color or pre-
vious condition of servitude around that fes-
tive board, however And so 1t happened
that when pain William Mckinley sat down
to the table his festive hosts struck up that
plaintive ditty, ooh, Willie, we have missed
you?'-Boston Herald.
There are rumors from Washington through
the Herald, that Hanna hiss tod DUTY to
tell Destiny to tell the president to keep the
Philippines. We doubt it. We believe Destiny
will lie low and say nothing until after cleo
ton. Should it prove true it will be I'm
fortunate If we should lose Illinois just as
we acquire the Philippines, for Illinois is
worth fifty Philippines.-New York Post.
They were leaning against the bar rail in
Cassidy's saloon, on Valencia street, the 9TH
er night when Flaherty, the haekdriver in
quired of Gallagher, How are yees on a
coonundrum?" 'Foine" was the answer;
"but DIVE not had one for some time To
tell yer der trut', olive been drinkin' stame
beer lately" "Oi'm not talkin' of drinkin' !;
are yees good on gissing things?" "Oi can gs;
innything that walks" ''Weu, thin, why is
it all the rich Germans refuse ter use
green-colored robes in their carriages?" A
pause, and then the reply: 81 dunno" Be
cause they think they're Microbes said
Flaherty. Then the patrol wagon was called
The San Francisco Argonaut.
''Delusion in these matters is so easy! 1t
is so easy to glove the claw of greed and
make it seem like the hand of destiny, reach
ing out over the earth to possessions that
have q covetable look! 1t is so easy to see
ffoE -of C1dt
mission in lands that have accepted some
other religion than our own! 1t is so easy to
read Gods purpose into a purely human
ambition and selfish desire! On, let US dis
trust the teachers who assume to have been
taken into the counsels of the Almighty
]. N. Larned to a meeting of New York
clergy.
"Our great paramount duty is to guard
the rights and interests of the seventy-five
millions Of our own people, and to preserve
and maintain intact the vital principles upon
which our own and all popular government
rests. "-Ex-Gov. Stewart, of Vermont.
''It will not do to go back upon the Declara-
ton of Independence, and upon the principles
on which this government was founded, and
the policy which has characterized it since
its. existence. There is no room for vassal
states. All Americans must be under the
same flag and the same laws and the same
liberties. WINSTON Warren to a meeting Of
Unitarian clergymen In New York.
Ole Oleson went to the circus the other
day, and got into trouble for assauIting the
elephant "What made you kick him in the
shins?" said the judge. ''VelI, you see, eet
vas dis way. Ay dadn't not know. Ay take
ma woman to circus. Ay buy UNI peanut
Ay see big elephant. Hay got-vot you tank?
hay got two tails. Vel, bynby hay take hay
darn tail, hay stale peanuts. Ay tell ma
wife eef ay know which end hay got UNI
head on ay skall break hay dam face. Ay
dadn't Knoxville San Francisco Argonaut
Some one had told Alice's father that his
little daughter sometimes said naughty words.
So one evening he took her on his lap to
talk to her about it. "Who told 90 1 said
naughty words?" she asked, her big brown
eyes full of wonder. He was smitten to the
heart and reproved himself for his credulity
ga little bird he answered shamefacediy.
"Oh!' said the child, her face expressing
great disgust, 81 bet it was one of 'ose damn
little sparrows!"-The San Francisco Argo-
naut