The record-union., 1898-08-22
GREATEST SHOW ON EARTH.
Jim MAGUIRE AND HIS ONE
MAN ATTRACTION.
The Political Harlequin LOOKS
Back With Delight on
His Record.
Is. f. Bulletin, Aug. 21st.)

Is. h. Bulletin, Aug. GlSl.l
James G.. Mcguire was born 10 please.
HE has been engaged since his youth IN
the manufacture Of that priceless pos
session of a politician, a brilliant rec
ord. He now stands on that record as
ON a mosaic floor and feels the grouno
beneath him. He surveys his record
and deems that it is indeed captous
citizen who cannot find in it something
to catch the eye, to charm the nina, TO
tease the vote from the hand.
"Oh," he muses., Il have set my hooks
for every kind Of fish. No candidate
has such colored flies as mine. Woe TO
the gudgeons when / toss my line into
the waters of politics. Your Repuo-
lican nominees are mere boys, angling
with bent pins. Against my tackle What
chance have they? Surely none. I'm
the only hook in the stream, the only
fisher on the bank the only apple on
the tree, the only dice in the box, the
only trump In the deck, the only drum
stick on the turkey, the only BABY IN
the show. I'm everybody's fayorite.
You can't beat me. I refer to my
record.
''Sit down, friend. You're a Populist,
you say? Then I'm your nominee
How's crops? Poor? That's too bad.
What we want is to bring the railroad
down from it's perch I think the
Southern Pacific ought to carry your
grain free and pay all the taxes. It's
tyranny to tax the farmer. He's the
backbone of the country. Down with
monopolists, corporations and BARRIERS,
say II Look at my hair. It's eight
1,o+ 1fSf
Look at my record. Your platform
couldn't fit me better if I'd written 1t
myself. Call and see me at Sacramento
after inauguration. First Populist
Governor Of California. Good-by until
then. Nextl
Hello, Jim; you here? So you're up
for Congress, good single taxer that
you are. Luck betide you Barry. Sim
gle tax is the only thing. Make these
hayseed farmers pay the bills. Land is
the only thing that ought to support
the country. We don't own land. We
own papers, pulls, conventions, records
and such Not an acre of dirt to my
name Certainly I'm for single tax.
Mulct the farmers, levy on their crops,
take their implements of trade. Why
should politicians or millionaires who
are wise enough 10 ldy Oul luelI Cdp1-
tai at interest instead of putting it into
real estate pay taxes? OF course they
are protected by the laws as we'll as the
farmers, but shucksi the farmer owns
land. This single tax is a great thing
1t ought to be called the bachelor tax
(single, hence unmarried, ergo, bache-
lor), because it's against husbandry
IIa, hal So long. Call again
f-,cr Az
old Republican? Glad to see you. Grand
old party, the Republican. I'm mem
ber of it myself. What? News to you?
Why, yes, of course. I was Repub-
lican office holder as far back as 1876
II. Why did the Democrats and Pops
nominate me? Because they don't know
any better Don't you remember that
/ left the Democratic party in 1887
roasted it, said adieu forever to it? OF
course you remember. They've over
looked that because I'm everybody's ia
vorite. It's my record-great record
work of many years and changes. Sorry
you can't stay longer.
Wonder who'll be next. This IS very
interesting because I know my lines 81
we'll Not many have their records dowr
so pat as have mine. Hard record t
memorize too. Such sudden breaks and
turnings What an active career I've
had. Career. did say? Call 1t career
Walk right in, Major Harvey; si