Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1898-11-23

when you're tired Of doing nothing, and
too lazy to do something."-Puck.
He was a slayer: Helm going to
kiss you when go. She-Do it now
while I'm still youngstown Topics.
Slumleigh-I don't see why you care
so little for me. Miss Gyer-Have you
ever taken a good look at yOurself?-
Town Topics.
She Do you understand those
French jokes? Helm afraid 1 do.
She-Then wish you'd translate them.
-Pick-Me-Up.
Gosling-"What do you think Of this
new tie Of miner" Wiggins-"My boy,
it's not a tie. It's colored supple
ment."-Truth.
George describes the girl he is en-
gagged to as a perfect vision" "Yes.
And his sister says she is a sight
Indianapolis Journal.
HAS Mr.. De Broken proposed to you
get, Beatrice?" mo; but he has a law
yer looking into papa's financial af-
rs."-Detroit Free Press.
Mr.. SHmmer-GOing to the ball TO
nightf Miss Antique-No, don't dance
the new dances. ''Why not?" mot
asked. Plain Dealer.
When a woman Is saving up to buy
new hat she can never see any use
in her husbands spending money to be-
long to a club.-New York Press
''Boarding-houses have taught me
one thing" What is that?" 1T couldn't
have been dried apple with which Eve
tempted Adam."-Chicago Record.
Cannibal king-You haven't succeed
ed in fattening the captive? The chief
cook-He's losing flesh all the time. l
think he's worrying about something.
Puck
George just saw you coming from
the conservatory with Miss Goldie.
Rather handsome girl, but too reserved
for me. Thomas-Yes, just reserved
her for life.-Cincinnati Enquirer.
Ever notice what an even temper
Johnson has? No matter how much he
is disagreed with, he never gets an
gry.' mo; but what a deep pity he
has for the other fellow."-Indianapoli
Journal.
Dyspepsia Specialist Qrritably)-
But, madam, you must chew your
food. What were your teeth given you
for?' Female Patient Calmly
weren't given to mel bought 'em."-
Odds and Ends.
Theatres ought to be seated with the
women all on one side and the men on
the other" why" $50 that when
men go out between the acts they can
tramp on each others toes."-Detroit
Free Press.
A fashion paper announces that
gowns this summer will come higher
than they did last year, owing to a
boom in the silk market. We trust they
will-at the shouldes.-Commerci
Advertiser.
'The bicycle is all right, 1 suppose"
remarked Mr.. Walker, "but it should
not be carried to excess" 81 don't think
it should be carried at ALL" replied Mr..
Sprocket. ut should carry you."-
Pittsburg Chronicle-Telegraph.
Philanthropist-"Yo is the first
hand organ have seen for some weeks.
Got too cold for them, 1 suppose" Or
ganist-"Eet ees so, signor. Zee peo-
pies keepa windows shut and notta pay
us to nova on."-New York Weekly.
Mr.. Norris-"I won't hear a word Of
It! 1t is too preposterous!' Mrs. Nor
ris-'Don't be severe with Frank; you
know he has fallen in Iove." "Well,
can't he fall out again?" "No, I'm
afraid not without getting married.
Answers.
Il have seen some pretty hard knocks
In my time," began the anvil, in ring
ing tones, when the bellows interrupt
ed him with, But think of the trouble
have. There isn't a day that I'm not
hard pressed to raise the wind."-Cin
cinanti Enquirer.
Mr.. Esplanade-T miss one topic
from the program Of the Mothers Con-
gress which fully expected to see dis
cussed." Mr. Monterey-"What is
that" Mr.. Esplanade-"How to Man.
age Husband" by Miss Soanso."-
Pittsburg Chronicle-Telegraph.
Chumley-"1 hear one of your fresh
men was pretty badly injured the other
day. How was it?" Hankins-"Why,
1t was in the elocution and oratory
class He has such a heavy voice that
he strained his back in trying to raise
University of Michigan Wrinkle.
Advance Agent-"You Western peo-
pie don't seem to be quite up to opera.
Everywhere we go the audiences weep
in the wrong place." Local Manager
'You won't have any trouble here. My
ushers are instructed to eject anybody
who does not weep in the cuspidor."-
Detroit Journal.
Mabel studying her lesson)-'Papa,
what is the definition of volubility"
Mabers Father-"My child, volubility
is a distinguishing feature Of your
mother when, on account Of urgent af-
fairs, don't happen to reach home un-
til after 2 o'clock in the morning.
Baltimore News.
Mother-"Mary, that young Spinners
has been paying a great deal Of atten-
ton to you of late. Do you think he
means businessY' Mary with a far
away look)-"I'm afraid he does,
mother. He is the agent for bicycle
firm, and he has done nothing but try
to sell me bicycle ever since he has
been coming here."-Spare Moments.
in Russia servants kiss their mis-
treSS's hands both at morning and eve
ming greetings.
An iron-mill company in Ohio has
succeeded in making a fine quality of
cement from furnace slag.~Ns
Instead OF sunlight for photograph
ic printing, the apparatus Of Schwartz,
German operator, uses several elec-
tric arcs, behind each of which are
three plain refiectors covered with
white enamel
Stockings were fist used in the
eleventh century. Before that cloth
bandages were used on the feet.