The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1898-09-15
dom up the wrong man. But, thin,"
consolingly, "they all needs it,"

cOnsolingly, "they all needs it"
A unique practical joke was played
last week at the expense of we'll
known criminal lawyer of the city, says
the Philadelphia Record. The lawyer
has an inseparable companion, who is a
stock broker, and the pair have the
name of being real sporty. Both are
irrepressible practical jOkers, but to
the relief of their numerous friends,
they have been playing their jokes of
late exclusively on one another. The
pair have been untiring in their efforts
to outstrip each other, and until last
week the lawyer had the most success
es to his credit. Last Friday night
they, with another friend, went out for
a nights sport, and, of course, followed
the usual program. BY o'clock the
lawyer was in a most beautiful state,
and his more sober companions had all
they could do to keep him moving
About this time startling joke sug-
gested itself to the broker, and after
letting his friends in, it was put into
execution. The trio repaired to near
by hotel and engaged room. The
schemers then proceeded to rifle the
helpless victim, and relieved him of
everything of value on his person. His
collar was removed and clothes mu ssed
and then a cabman was called. This
conveyed them to nearby railroad
station, where they arrived just before
a train left for Baltimore. The broker
purchased one ticket, loaded the law
yer aboard, and then made arrange
ments with the conductor to allow him
to sleep until Baltimore was reached.
When the lawyer finally awOke he
found himself sitting in the railroad
station in that city, and after deal of
thinking he realized what his pal had
done. He appeared at his club in Phil
adelphia that evening, but how he man.
aged to get home he refuses to tell.
All of his friends have heard the story,
and many are the lauuhs at his ex-
pense, but his face wears thoughtful
look that bodies ill for his friend, the
broker.
Of William and j John Scott, afterward
Lord Stowell and Lord Eldon, Lord
John Russell used to tell with infinite
Zest story which he declared to be
highly characteristic of the methods by
which they made their fortunes and pc.
sition. When they were young men
at the bar, having had stroke of pro-
fessional luck, they determined TO cele-
brate the occasion by having dinner
at the tavern and going to the play.
When it was time to call for the reck-
oning William Scott dropped guinea.
He and his brother searched for it in
vain and came to the conclusion that
it had fallen between the boards of the
uncarpeted floor.
'This is bad job" said William,
I'VE must give up the play.
"Stop Bit" said John. II know a
trick worth two of that" and called the
waitress.
"Betty," said he, "we've dropped two
guineas. See if you can find them"
Betty went down on her hands and
knees and found the one guinea, which
had rolled under the fender.
"That's a good girl, Betty" said
John Scott; pocketing the coin, "and
when you find the other you may keep
it for your trouble" And the prudent
brothers went with light hearts to the
play, and so eventually to the bench
and the WOOlsack.
You know the commodOres of the
various squadrons have a custom of
changing places about once in three
years. Al the time of the last change
it was Dewey's turn to take the Euro
pean squadron, command held in
highest esteem of all, because of the ia
cllltles 1t furnishes for social pleasu res
and the reception of marks of distinc-
ton at the hands of forign powers.
Before the change was made Dewey
was approached by Commodore How
ard who asked Dewey to change places
with him and allow Howard to take the
European squadron, giving as reason
some immediate personal advantage
that he could reap from such an ar
rangement. Dewey, always obliging
agreed to the arrangement, gave up his
prospect of a term of lively years in the
waters which battle Gibraltar and Ca
lais and took charge of the Asiatic
squadron.
"'Well,' concluded the surgeon, you