davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The age-herald., 1898-04-06
Cleanliness Necessary Now.

Quarantine detentions at the seaboard went into effect April 1, instead of May 1, as has been the custom; and this should re- mind the authorities of every town, no matter how small or how large, and every householder, that the time to clean up has come. The time to clean up, and stay cleaned up, has come.
 The Alabama state board of health should show that 1t is not altogether an ornament al superfiuity by instituting an inspection of the towns and inhabitated localities of the lower half of the state. Some of them are full of invitations to disease germs to come on and multiply, and go out then to attack the human race. Let these towns become known. Let them know, too. that they have no right, legal or moral, to endanger the lives of the rest of the state, and to .disarrange and paralyze her varied interests. Inspection at this time with a view to cleanliness is much more valuable than holding conventions to dis cuss abstract questions.
 War preparations and war concentration of troops. if not war itself. render this duty of cleaning up doubly important As a rule the troops will be unaccustoined to the climate of the gulf states, and the ap- pearance of fever in or near their camps must result in an epidemic that will tie up the south. In the event of war, the constant communication with Cuban ports may become an additional source of dan ger.
 There Is only one thing to do, so far as the homes and towns of the people are con- cerned-put every one of them in the high est possible sanitary condition. Make ev- cry alley and street and drain and pool and well and kitchen and stable and outbuiid- ing wholesome. and keep it so. Do not wait until June. but do the work now, and keep 1t up There Is no other course that promises safety. It is duty you owe to yourself. to your neighbors, to the state. And if the state board of health could be induced to abandon its convention work, and give it's time to a discovery of the neg ligent towns and to efforts to spur them to their duty the state could be put into a reasonably safe condition
 The chief duty rests at last on the house. holder. who must look after cellars, and lofts and hooks and corners in which there may be accumulations that should be re- moved. Stagnant pools should first of all have attention. Stagnant surface water of any kind is source of danger Without
The age-herald., 1898-04-06
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR

From ttlse New York Press
 Man proposes, woman seldom refuses
 Loves wings are made only to keep the flies off with.
 Every woman at times considers herself a tender gazeale pursued by a lot of stags.
 At this season Of the year, married men herd together becauss they know they all smell equally of camphor balls
 The first thing tine average girl says after a man has proposed to her is oh, that she feels as If she must have loved him all her life.
 House-cleamg probably o,iginatei as an excuse for tine women to find a lot of their husibansdy old clothes that they p.t away last year.
The age-herald., 1898-04-06
DEBTS AND CREDITS.
rom the 'Chicago Post.

From the Chicago Post
 "Yes," said Mrs. Croesus, proudly. i've married our daughter very well, indeed, I think. We gave her a dowry of g, ,00O, 900, and you have no idea how many noblemen there were after her. She now a countess.
 "Yes, I read 1t all in the papers," re- turned Mrs. Pleasonton, smilingly "We didn't give our daughter any dowry at all, and she is very happily married to a suc- cessful young business man."
 No dowry!'
 "None. It wasn't necessary. In the mat rimonial market, you know, It depends on the girl whether she is accepted as debit or a credit"
 After the fun meaning of this had per- colated through the intellect of Mrs. Croe- sus a eoldness seemed to arise and make itself felt
The age-herald., 1898-04-06

filth of some kind the disease cannot be- come epidemic. The coast authorities will do their full duty. There will be no neg ligence of the Ship Island sort this year.
 Now, see that every town. and every house is made secure against germ that in such times as these may pass through the ports and be brought to some interior town.
The age-herald., 1898-04-06
OFF HAND.

From the New York Press. gsss Disqualification did you lose your hand?
 Victim-Well yer see, went to de bench show an tired ter pat de winnin' Danes head.
 Sympathizer-Well?
 Victim-Dat was de dorg what carried off de palm.
The age-herald., 1898-04-06
PUT OUT OF COURT.

From the Chicago Post
 'He sent me v million kisses. "asssrted the plaintiff in the breach of promise case.
 "Did you count themf' asked the attor- ney for the defendant.
 "Count themr' exclaimed the plaintiff. "Of course not"
 "Your honor." cried the attorney for the defendant earnestly. 'I object to the ad- mission of this testimony as being indefinite and unreliable In these days of automatic counting machines 1t is prepostereus for any girl to come into a court of law-'
 But 1t is needless to go on. The humil- iation of the thoughtless girl who had failed to keep pace with the timss was. of course, complete
The age-herald., 1898-04-06

be run in three turns of eight hours each. The pool hopes to raise the New Orleans price from % cents a barrel to 50 cents Here is a chance for Alabama miners to teach Pittsburg lesson they will remem- her
The age-herald., 1898-04-06
HIS FONDNESS.

From Pick-Me-Up.
 Irate Father-Tm getting tired of this nonsense. You've been engaged to that young man for six months. Does he ever intend to marry you?
 Daughter-You must have patience papa. Remember he's an actor.'
 Father-What's that got to do with it?
 Danghter-Hes fond of long engage ments.
The age-herald., 1898-04-06
THE TASTE OF TIME.

From the Detroit Free Press.
 She complied with a special request to sing popular songs of the day, with such selections as "IIot Time" and one or two others of equal literary merit.
 Then the sweet-faced old lady in the cen- ter of the audience stood up and blushingly asked if the lady would be so kind enough to give them some of the unpopular songs of the day.
The age-herald., 1898-04-06

New York has appropriated a million dol lars as a war emergency fund. Ohio an- other million, and Iowa a half of a million. All the states will soon put on their war paint, costing more or less
The age-herald., 1898-04-06
ON ACCOUNT or BABY.

From Tit-Bits.
 'Cioud has gone t the country. hear" "Yes. On account of his baby" "Baby ill?"
 "Oh, no. He left the baby at home. Cloud went to get some sleep"
The age-herald., 1898-04-06
THE TIDY MATTRESSES.

From Truth.
 Tom-The waitress at the women's res- taurant remind me of time and tide. Dick-How?
 Tom-They wait on no man. here below-little drops of water and little grains of sand.
The age-herald., 1898-04-06

When the peace phrases of the adminis- tration are analysed they are found to mean an opportunity to Spain to get her torpedo craft and ships into the most fa- vorable positions to do this country hurt
The age-herald., 1898-04-06
A sLUnIBER SONG.

 From tho Washington TimAA Tho wind h tho Executive treefops ls ang. ing Htt5e tuna Of drowsy, dreamy oadence. q soft aaG sleepy rum Tha Whas Hpuss C wrapped In sinurA tn . Canton-fannel way, And ta,s prs<ddenf of the nation s txlkina sone rest today (ChorumD- Make haste in Mcred stiffness tho eoss rtdnrg b shsep-
 Hunhi
 Hushl Inn presfdsnt's sons to sneepi The ftrain has been simply sdkhtfua. np81 narrowing day to daM Wdth Wh1 Street and thn nation each pryb ing a different way. The chief of the navy department has GouH :. away to resi- And the president. loo, VIII bs Q,le&l hs1 doctor thinks k beat (Chmts
 as stands like . pensivs penguin. im- merSed in slumber deep
 Don't tip him over! The presidents gone to sleep.
The age-herald., 1898-04-06

The big river coal operators at Pittsburg have formed a combine to shove up prices.
 They are credited with an intention of shipping soooo.ooo bushels to New Orleans. The mines in the Pittsburg district are to
The age-herald., 1898-04-06
THE FIRST NIGHT IN A "sIEEPER

THE FIRST NIGHT IN "SLEEPER." From the Topeka State Journal.
 A traveaer from tine short grass country boarded No. at Dodge City few nights ago. He wore long. white whiskers and q wide-brfmmed white felt hat, and he ntood z feet c.
 His boots were neatly blacled. and he
The age-herald., 1898-04-06

There is very wide stretch of sea water between the Cape Verde islands and Porto Rico-two thousand miles of rollers and head seas.
The age-herald., 1898-04-06

MT. Mckinley will soon become aware that, like MT. Cleveland in another crisis, he has a congress on his hands if he does not unload himself of that message.
The age-herald., 1898-04-06

The president needs lightning newspa- per man when message-writing is to be done. The presidential brain works slug gishly.
The age-herald., 1898-04-06
WHY DIDN'T sAGAsTA rHINKs

From the Washington Star.
 Spain has not had the candor to request this country to wait until Alphonso grows up, so that he can manage the affair for himself. r
The age-herald., 1898-04-06

All the world seem to be engaged in finding a way in which Spain can give up Cuba gracefully. and without too much of a shock to her Castilian pride.
The age-herald., 1898-04-06

If the torpedo fleet blows up battleship, the republican party must answer for it.
The age-herald., 1898-04-06

Look out today for an internal congress- ional explosion if the presidential message be not forthcoming.
The age-herald., 1898-04-06

The presidential delay is at least product i've of some plain truths concerning Wall street politics.
The age-herald., 1898-04-06

In these times the people buy the news paper that has the news.
The age-herald., 1898-04-06

Capt. Sampson is at the front, but keep an eye on Commodore Schley. He is a skipper in command of a very skippery fleet.
The age-herald., 1898-04-06

Sagasta is trying to decide whether Spain shall surrender Cuba before after war.
The age-herald., 1898-04-06

The, regiments of cowboys that will soon be formed in the west will take the conceit out of the Spanish battalons and Spanish people.
The age-herald., 1898-04-06

War will be a relief to the prevailing sus pense.
The age-herald., 1898-04-06

The horrors of war are not confined to the battlefields. new crop of colonels is something to shudder at.
The age-herald., 1898-04-06
TELEPHONE CALLS,

Now join your hands, and with your hands your hearts, that no dissension hin- der government" HENRY VI.
The age-herald., 1898-04-06

EVENTS THAT REQUIRE PREPARATION From .he Pittsburg Times.
 Between the activity in the ship yards and the Easter bonnet plants. this coun- try Is doing the best It can to be prepared for two important climaxes.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1898-12-29
GORDON MEMORIAL COLLEGE.

The contributions TO the foundation
of the Gordon Memorial College at
Khartoum amount already to over
$500, 900. The Saturday Review says:
"All war is terrible; Soudan war is a
horror beyond words"
But humanity sweeps onward.
Before the bodies of the slaughtered
Arabs are buried, a grand institution
for the education of the children of
the upper Nile and the land beyond it,
has been provided for. The Anglo
Saxon race destroys, but builds on the
ruins.
Even the French, claiming rights in
Egypt, under the terms of the "capi-
tulations" between Great Britain and
France are providing the means for
establishing educational institutions at
Khartoum and Fashoda.
The war power is now the mission
airy to the heather"
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1898-12-29

regarding the magic dress. and pro-
tect himself. Let him construct for
himself a pair of Magic pants or
'Imperyious overaIls,'' which when
properly adjusted according TO the
legend, will render the blows of the
cat" harmless, and will resist even
dynamite. II will enable him to smile
with joy, and invite the wicked cato
nine tails 10 try it again. Nor, is there
any reason why a fat music box
should not be inserted within the back
of the Magic pants" so that when
the blows of the cat strike him, they
viii develop patriotic tunes, such as:
There's a New Moses in Town" and
Hot for Dole
Prof Martin may resent any sug-
gestfons regarding the Magic pants"
and prefer to suffer for the crime he
has committed according 10 the candi-
dates Organ. 1T is noble to suffer"
Does he in silent communion with his
political soul at the midnight hour,
ever ask himself the question why he
must suffer for an offense committed
in May, which was treated, at the time,
as a virtue by the Organ which is
now using the candidates cat-O'-nine
tails over the backs of the rank and
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1898-12-29
100000 MEN.

Secretary Ayers report recon-
to 100000 men. The British army, ex-
elusive of the Indian army, that is now
used in all parts of the world in pre-
serving order, numbers only 100, 600
men.
However desirable it is to maintain
an army for the Government of the
Philippines and Cuba, the strong oppo-
sitiOn of the conservative forces on the
Mainland against such an increase is
already apparent. But in the end it
will be settled mainly by the business
profits there may be in expansion. No
doubt there is a strong feeling in favor
of establishing good government in the
new acquisitions, but the people will
get tired of that matter, just as they
are tired of the negro question. After
thirty years friction over the negro,
the people of the North have said to
the people of the South: Take him
and do as you like with him. We
can't waste any more time over him.
There is no money in it," The cost
Of helping the negro after the war was
nothing. Helping the F'ilipinos to
good government, and it surely ought
to be done, will cost the nation many
millions. And unless there is some
adequate return for the investment,
the nation will get tired of taxing it
self for humanity
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1898-12-29
THE PASSING HOUR.

Reviews of Ian. Maclaren's lectures
on America have been received here.
Sad to relate, he strictly follows pre-
cedent.
Singing is taught on board the Brit
ish training ships This is probably
with a view to making the other fell
lows do the dancing.
The maintenance of Col. Bryan as
shouter here, there and everywhere in
and out of season, must be a serious
tax on some fund or other.
One of this papers advertisers an
nounces that he will do certain work
at more than reasonable prices" Pur-
lists might miScOnstrue the syntaX.
This town has always been the friend
to the sailor man. Some stranded
Jack Tars are to be given a theatrical
benefit and the purchase of tickets
should be general.
The Chinaman naturaliZed in Hawaii
and resisting the squeeze" process at
Hongkong has to thank both the
Islands and the Britishers at Hongkong
for his fortunate escape.
One of the United States Senators is
quoted as saying that there are Ameri-
cans at Honolulu who want the Mica
ragua Canal. Yes; there are some
Americans here who want anything
they can get.
The campaign for the Territorial
Chief Justiceship is not on here yet,
but what they used against Judge Zane
when he was a candidate for re-elec
ton to similar office in Utah was that
his son, an attorney, practiced before
him regularly.
The Advertiser is not in "cahOots"
with the Oahu Railways advertised
excursion to Kahuku, but it may be re
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1898-12-29

marked that a whole lot OF city people
would be enlightened by making the
trip and seeing the Island between
Waialua and Kahuku.
Once again, in the destruction Of the
Home Insurance Building, in New
York, is demonstrated the imposs:bility
OF providing a fire proof structure. This
house was a fifteen story sky scraper
and the style is to be discouraged be
cause adequate fire fighting appliances
cannot be devised.
After many years, there is hopeful
prospect that the Legislature OF the
State OF California will vote TO exempt
Palo Alto (Stanford) University from
taxation. Even L. G. partisans now
advocate the favor. Palo Alto has
struggled at times since the death of
its founder. On one occasion Mrs.
Stanford pledged her personal effects
for running expenses Of the college.
And all that time one-fourth of the
income of the school was going into
the State Treasury as tribute.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1898-12-29
MAGIC TROUSERS.

Another of the misguided beings who
must suffer under the whips of the
cat-o'-nine tails, in the hands of Mr..
Sewalls Organ is Prof. Martin who is
one of the faithful members of the
frank and file" of patriots that did not
urge the Government to make a war
alliance with the United States in May
last. For if reported correctly in the
Organ, Mr.. Martin said on the 9th of
May last: Il would say we ought to
act as if strictly independent In say
ing so he, like the rest of the irreso-
lutes was guilty, according to the rules
of the Organ, of 'cowardice" and ''trea-
SON." although he is quite free from
censure according to our own rules.
Prof. Martin has for some time car
ried on with deserved success, an es-
Establishment on Fort street, for the
production of trousers and other cloth
ing, and if he was as successful in COW
ering the moral nakedness of some of
his customers as he has been in cover
ing their physical nakedness, he would
be regarded as sweet boon" to man
kind In connection, however, with
this establishment, he has furnished
to the leading men Of leading party,
a resort where he has with commend
able industry generated the carbonic
acid gas of patriotism which he has
faithfully pumped into and charged
the weary souls of the respondent and
given them life and sparkling hope.
Nevertheless, he failed in what was
recently discovered to be very
solemn crisis in May last, and like the
rest of the backward patriots, must
submit to the application on his back
of the dreadful cat-o'-nine tails whose
strings are loaded with "cowardice"
and treason
What, then, is his attitude? Does
he propose to submit with humility;
TO be led to the whipping post, and
rend the air of the town with shrieks
of pain when the "cat" prints his
skin?
It is suggested to Prof. Martin that
he act upon the fine idea, contained
in the tales of the Arabian Nights
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1898-12-29

Reviews of Ian. Maclaren'S lectures
on America have been received here
Sad to relate, he strictly follows pre-
cedent.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1898-12-29

The Advertiser is not in 'cahoots"
with the Oahu Railways advertised
excursion to Kahuku, but it may be re-
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1898-12-29
GOV. ROOSEVELT.

Colonel Roosevelt is a Republican,
but distressing one when looked at
by the machine men. He has never
been picked out by the boys" as a
trustworthy politician, and, we be-
lieve has never been elected to any
important office by the popular vote.
He was incapable of making bargains,
and monumental patriotism is not
popular with the bosses.
The incident of war has made him
Governor of New York. His efforts
in the line of reform will be defeated
by the union of both political parties
in the legislature. He will be success
full only in the cases where he has sole
and absolute authority. The leaders of
both parties regard him as a Mugwump
carried into office by an extraordinary
tidal wave His official conduct will
be extremely annoying to the leaders,
as it was when he was one of the New
York Police Commissioners. The in
dependent journals will stand by him.
The partisan journals will not endorse
him with much enthusiasm.
But he is an educator. He will leave
the politics of the State a little better
than he found it. The party men will
not love him. But the generation of
young men, who are taking broader
views will admire him, and his faith
and his work will inspire them. Col
onel Roosevelt and Colonel Warning
boys did not like them.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1898-12-29
VASES : AND PITCHERS

Within the last year or so
the fad of using candle sticks
is again in vogue, with the
exception that at the present
day the designs are much
prettier than those used in
the last century.
1t is no uncommon thing
today to step into the best fur
niShed houses and find these
Art Candle Sticks displayed
in some cosy nook around the
house. Our assortment of
these goods consists of sew
eral patterns.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1898-12-29

1t is folly to suffer from that hor-
rible plague of the night, itching
piles. Doan's Ointment cures, quick
ly and permanently. At any chemists.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1898-12-29

MESSENGER SERVICE.
Honolulu Messenger Service deliver
messages and packages Tel. 37S.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1898-12-29
COME AND SEE.
= $+$$$

We have a line Of fine leather
goods that embraces almost every
thing useful made Of leather at prices
astonishingly low.
IN CELLULOID GOODS our line
will aStonish you.
FANCY GLASS BOTTLES. We lead
our competitors.
PERFUMERY is our forte. Our line
of Palmer's, Lazell, Daley e Co., Lund-
borgs, Colgate, Pinauds, Rigand G Co.,
Roger & Gallet, is complete.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1898-12-29

Is the Characteristic of Hoods Sarsapa-
rilla, and it is manifested every day in he
remarka bic cures this medicine accom-
plishes. Druggists say: When we sell a
bottle Of Hoods SarsspariIla to a new
customer we are sure 10 see him back in a
few weeks after more proving that the
good results from trial bottle warrant
continuing its use. This positive merit
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1898-12-29
ART MIRRORS,
ART VASES,
ART PITCHERS,
ART CANDLE STICKS.

These goods are without
exception the most handsome
line ever brought before the
public of Honolulu.
The SCounse Mirrors are
the very best beveled plate
glass set in the latest Gre
alton artists Of the highest
order can conceive and are of
a large variety Of designs.
What we have said of the
Mirrors also applies to the
assortment Of
VkCEC AMI PITCHERS
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1898-01-27
A Rabbit STONED Family Prayers.

'0ne Sunday we were all at regular
family prayer. A sporting friend was
visiting me. and he and knelt, facing
n low window with our elbows upon the
sill. And from round corner. 10. there
came up OF US a coney, and he reared
up not two yards from US. and he heark-
ened unto the prayers, and he winked
his nose at us, till my friend forgot
himself and exclaimed: We kin catch
that dewitt threw up the window so
hard that ! cracked pane, and out we
leaped in red-hot chase. And the dear
old arcbdeacon almost burst trying not
10 laugh. for he had seen the rabbit.
and was keen sportsman withal. We
ran that rabbit across four two-acre
lots as hard as we could split. and at
last we got him into deep snow, where
he gave up and was captured alive. And.
on looking back TO the first fence we
had cleared. ! saw fuzz Of white whis-
kers above II. ast heard strong old
voice shout: They got him! they got
him!' '"-Outing.