Chicago eagle. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1889-19??, 1898-02-05
SUM-
4|E]t'Ez

perceive.-Fliegende Batter.
. Friend-You are so dreadfully cross.
eyed. l don't see how you can shoot
straight. Cross-eyed sportsman-I fire
both barrels at once.-Boston Traveller.
"ln London" said the returned tour.
ist. boastfully. II appeared at court"
How much was the fine?" queried
his cynical Observation-Disclosures North
American.
Latest from the intelligence ONCE:
'Oh. Bridget! told you to notice when
the apples boiled over" "Sure I did,
mum. 1t was quarter past eleven
Brooklyn Life.
why has splasher named his picture
British Deerr" lie was afraid some
one would say that American deer
don't have legs like those Of his deer"
--Chicago Record.
lnquisitive tourist dn Oklahoma)-
Pardon me. sir. but are you a married
man? Badly scrodd Cthe stage driver
Nope; had my hair secured OF In O
aandstorm.-Puck.
"Next time I'm going out to Beverly's
I'm going to take camp stool with
me- What forT' Last time I went
sat down on little thing that turned
out to be tea -table."-I'uck.
"what did you think Of the grea,
horse show. Miss Go.hamT' II think
that the presence Of the horses detract.
ed very materially from the chief at.
fractions Of the entertainment"
1T seems strange that he could plum.
der a great corporation like that fol
years without being found out" We'll
you see. the corporation was pretty
busy itself."-Chicago Journal.
John Doe-1 wonder whit caused
Gobang to collapse? I am told he Il
suffering from nervous prostration
Richard Roe-Yes. He sat down in q
game Of poker with man who stutter.
ed.-Puck.
"Golf." remarked the young man who
% wearisomely blase. is one Of the
very few games that do not fatigue
me-" what is the reason for that y
Il never learned to play it."-wash.
angton Star.
Boetonlan--1s this friend that you
wish to bring to dinner much Of IN.
contour? Chicago mnn-Blamed X
know; but say. you'll die laughin' II
we can get him to tellln' stories.-Cleve.
land Leader.
II am afraid that actors sometimes
deceive Us about the salaries they get, ;
remarked the mild.mannered citizen
"No." replied the keen observer; "they
may think they do. but they DON'T
Washington Star.
won't you play something. Mui
linsy asked Kilduff. motioning towat
the piano. Il hardly like to while Col
Gore Is here" rs he severe In hi
cfiticismsY' "Ycs: and he carries pis
tol."-Hariem Life.
Brother Sontext-we!l. Brother Stir
emup. will they raise your salary an
other year? Brother Stiremup-Well.
don't know about another year; the,
haven't finished raising 1t for this yea
yet.-Richmond Times.
"Has your Shakespeare society startet
In yet. Miss JOnesY' "Yes. We met a
Mrs. wiggles' yesterday. Miss Matilda
Robinson read most delightful pape
on the the Influence of Rosalind Of
Dress Reform "-Bazar.
Basil suppose you think I'm fool
Cass-That's what troubles me.
your superstition Is correct, then yo'
are q mind reader. and therefore yo'
can not be fool; and yet--well, yo'
Observation-Disclosures Transcript.
"she Is a very buslness-like woman,
remarked one young man. EYES," re
Piled the other; but I admire cling
ing nature" "Then you ought to Sc
her some time when she f. trying u
hold on to n Ollar."-Washington Star
Mrs. Hashlc!gh-My husband used t
say that made the best coffee In tn
world. The dyspeptic boarder-Oh!
wouldn't dream Of questioning that
madam; but there's vast diherenc
between making and creating Coffee
Puck.
"You will be sorry for the way 20,
have neglected me when am silent Il
the tOmb," said Mrs. Peck; "think o
that" my DEAR" said Mr.. Peck. a
innOcently as he could, II can not imaG
inc such q thinG."-Indianapolis jour
nal.
Ibid you tell that young man not I
call here any mOre| asked Mabel
father, severely. "N--no." "Why not ?
81 didn't think that It was necessary
don't see how he could call any NOR
now. He calls seven times a week.
Washington Star.
81 am told" remarked Miss Cayenne
"thst you said some very clever thing
last evening" YES" replied Will
Washington; ut Is very discouraging.
'What ISL" 1.-THE surprised manner 4
which everybody is talking about IT,
Washington Star.
"How can get an article in you
papery'' asked correspondent OF
Western journal. ut all depends on tn
article you want TO get into our paper,
replied the editor; III the article
small In bulk. like hair brush or tea
caddy, spread the paper out upon tn
floor, and placing the article in the Ger
ter. wrap 1t up by carefully folding tn
edges over II. and tie with T. :frin;
This will keep the article from slippin
out OF the paper. II, on the other hanl
the article Is an English bath-tub or
clothes horse. you would better not tr
It at all.'-Bazar.