The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1898-03-02
GIVING A DIPLOMAT TIPS.
TEE HON. BILL LEhRY INsTRUOTs
U NEXT CONSUL TO TENERIFFE

Ht Appears Ihnt whsu wiliinua was There
the Pfaue war Mech Lnke . noeiunn In Its
Erect - Huosnsiasrate Observation-Disclosures
Carl Gel . Yeiiew wtra, 1tt'a = Chestnut.
RadtatinG the blandsbut cold sunlight OF d.
plouiacy, Sol Berliner sat in the Fifth Avenue
Hotel last evening considering his future as
United States Consul at Teneriffe. Canary Isl.
ands. As a trained war horse Of politics he has
all the Interior cranial furnishings OF statecraft,
and his musings were profound and glorious.
Enter the Hon. William Leary. former Secretary
Of tho Park Board, and o noted expert in the af-
fairs Of life. On catching sight Of Mr.. Berliner
Mr.. Leary paused in his fight toward the room
OF political discussion (around small tables)
and approached the prospective diplomat.
"Hello, SOL" he said.
NJ Leary. 1 believe" replied Mr.. Berliner.
ut is q pleasure to sec sou. Mr. Leary."
"Humphi" remarked Mr.. Leary, somewhat
discounted at the precise courtesy Of his re-
ception. "You seem to have undergone a
spring revival. What's the matter with your
AS a mar with a future in the service OF his
beloved country"
"Ah. forget iti' calculated Mr.. Leary. Don't
inhict any of your polished rhetoric on mo.
Now that you've been appointed Consul to the
Canaries ] suppose you think you're q bird"
With q deep sigh Mr.. Berlincr pulled out q
notebook, produced q pencil. and made an en-
try.
what did you put down therei'' asked the
other suspiciously.
mo. a.. William Lcsry, ESQ A. NJ" read
the Consul.to.bc. "Forty-six other intelligent
and humane gentlemen have preceded you in
that observation to-day
Well, Sol. I'm glad you've got 1t anyway"
said Leary. holding out his hand. which was
warmly grasped. You've always been a good
Republican, and you deserve this recognition"
Thanks, Billy" replied Sol, dropping his mir
of naughty reserve. II guess I don't need to
practice on you. This diplomatic business is
wearing, my boy, wearing. Already I've
but then I mustn't give away secrets. and as
you know. my appointment has not yet been
confirmed. You don't appreciate the feelings OF
q much sought after man."
Don't II" said Mr.. Leary. "Wcl, you've
got another guess coming to you. There were
a couple Of deputy sneriffs--"
That's another matter" interrupted the dip
political appointment there's a swarm of people
coming around that want TO exchange advice for
Other t.fhs things = Of 3s greater sSiS ya ME' Ioorv. "Sow.
don't want to discourage you. Sol. but the posi-
ton yoy are to occupy is one Of extreme deli.
a.Ccrtainlyy, i know that" said Sol.
the feeling against this nation is down there.
I1hEe you tNoT UoCn IL SuuAElCbI CEltu
Sol in great surprise.
When ! was there in &C. pursued Mr.;
TINT account, After ia been there for some
days / decided on an ocean bath, but i had no
bathing suit: and ;i sa that ass garment En- spt is not
l~ation, I felt that I would be more comfortable
xmeri sa4 Gni Be so,h ! f sad the S1s sake EaS Of p S1, OF an
and on account Of its buoyancy:"
What buoyancy, the fag'sf I never heard
Tho American flag always floats. don't itf
You always hear Of it floating; Wei, as I'm
tired the flag would float and float me with IT,
viii you please furnish a diagram with
doesn't float in water, it floats in air"
Don't you I'm, make S;n, the mistake on., common N on,, to in,
:9SH aifs,F% Mn tha' L aaRlSm9 regnS S% 2 r 'a bsRiinssIRs
take notes as I go along If yGu Wish and III
too abstruse for your intellect. To proceed.
Adorned with my protecting flag, ! swan out
shoai Of Spanish macierel sporting out beyond
me. No sooner had they caught sight Of my
headed for me, and before i could reach shallow
water ! was surrounded by the myriads Of fish
teeth they tore strips OF skin and flesh from me.
My blood dyed the water. Escape was impossi.
was aware Of a terrific commotion in the water
about me. The murderous Spanish mackerel
fae eSe NO S!saef as % Best snp th seyn eonl d against ~ hesen an
| aquatic onslaught. Bleeding from IA hundred
wounds l made my way to- shore. Judge Of
that l owed my, de!iverance to the loyalty and
courage of q school Of starfsh and. a shoal Of
colors, rallied around the flag. and after a ter
e elef to nsI disS Re!'is Since s' then tas H I have eP neVsr l %dSsi
upon a pickled stsrfish or seen striped bass
upon = bill Of fare that anger and grief has not
MI. Leary sighed heavily. and Sol began
upon some words of sympathy when the Older
/ nnlitirtAn hFnKA in
You've made some study of your destina-
bought three biographies and a globe this
"Ah, you'll find much Of interest there. Now
had heard about, in the encyclopedia. said
That's probable because you looked under
MY dear boy" said Mr.. Leary. looking pro-
found, lit isn.t'Peak of Teneri1e, a mountain.
ia 55is FFt saHs1l St TI Is sisas. = e!g' eEas' h is SSasiEe% Rp Sgi
e! i: S SssS% 4, : sh Sy SisSG IL 3, I &sasPP nEEs # the world
"Who,That-who is Tenerifef'
STfenoriSss is the spanish ;Goysrno! Of the Isl:
,TS $iiS' Ess my my d als Trip" rspisS .hs other
first timo. Just remember that II Old Tene-
rife has got q bad temper. Against diplomats
he has q particular pique. and his method of re-
ceiving them 10 unique. AS the new represen-
tative approaches his palace he comes to the
door and fires o bell mouthed buss
loaded with carpet tacks. broken glass. lead
slugs and other bric,a-brac point blank at the
visitor. If the man lives he's accepted"
Did he miss your asked Sol uneasily.
Oh! ! sent my representative up first. They
planted him In q soft, swampy grave, and the /
succulent and inebriating mint waves over his
last resting-place.
IN h ib;os several 0nss rsggr viss5 sbr %.n said 81 sf sSl
once. IT might be there yet II old Tenerife
hadn't Misunderstood one Of my little pleas.
antries. He struck me for o loan and i said I'd
be happy to accommodate him with a tenner II
and there he broke in and began to throw
crockery and chairs. He thought my little
joke was q refusal TO come up. I had to get
out OF become a repository for a collection OF
old Tenny's projected metals. so / skipped"
1T must be a pretty lively berth, said Sol
musingly.
And death Is likely to follow close upon birth