davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1898-01-29
HUMOROUS.

-"Heprrton says he won't marry
anyone but a widow" II hope he won't
marry mfne."- e."-Indianapolis Journal
-Hewitt-"Why didn't you laugh at
that joke when told it?" Jewett-
Il don't believe in laughing at an old
friend. Truth.
-Spogs-"Was it not disgraceful. the
way in which Smiggs snored IN church
to-day?" Stuggs-"I should think it
was. Why, he woke us all up."!Tit-
Bits.
Before the Scrap.-Hooley-"Did
yez hear about Casey quittin' work.
at noon yisterday?" Dooley-"Oi did
not. Phwot med 'im?" Hooley-
"Shure, it wor tn twilve o'clock whis-
tle."-Judge.
81 am afraid that actors sometimes
deceive us about the salaries they get"
remarked the mild-mannered citizen.
NO." replied the keen observer; "they
may think they do; but they don't
Washington Star.
Fine Progress.-"Well, my son, how
are you getting along at college ?" asked
the anxious father. "They call me a
phenom, governor. / started in as a
substitute and now I'm full back. DE
troit Free Press.
Wasn't Bliss.-"What know about
riding a wheel" said the scorcher,
"would fill book" "Yes," said the
policeman who had gathered him in,
"and what you don't know about il
would soon fill the morgue."- Chicago
News.
Why, Indeed p Moneyworth-
''Why will the newspapers publish col
umns of the revolving details of muir
ders? Here rvewasted two good hours
reading through this mass of trash
about the last one."-Philadelphia
North American.
-Landlady-"The price of this room
is 80 marks. Will that suit you?" Stu
ent-"Perfectly." Landlady-"Then
you can't have it. A man who meekly
accepts such an exorbitant price. obvi-
ously does not intend to pay his bill."-
Fliegende Blaetter.
II understand you have been advo-
eating a tax on bachelors" said Single
ton. Il have" replied Benedict. Upon
what grounds do you justify it?" up
on the general theory that man should
be made to pay for the enjoyment of a
luxury" This he considered very
clever until his wife heard of it, when
it seemed to lose much of its brilliancy.
Chicago Evening Post.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1898-01-29
FAvORs OF FASHION.
Velvet Trimmings ON ClOth-Dainty
Gartcrs-AbOut Wells.

Velvet Trimmings ON CIOth-DaInty
Gartcrs-About Wells.
Velvet bands applied to cloth dresses
have so far been of moderate proportion
and design, bat some of the newest
dresses trimmed in this manner are
strikingly pronounced. One was dress
OF gray cashmere trimmed with wide
bands of moss-green velvet. The skirt
had round corded yoke and the bodice
bloused above wide girdle of green
velvet and had a very narrow vest of the
same. Rows of tiny buttons edged the
cloth fronts, and the collar was faced
with green velvet and stiffened with
cord ornamentation on the outside.
Such free use of velvet bands, while it
certainly serves an ornamental purpose.
still marks the approaching end of this
fashion, though no one can say just how
long it will be in coming.
Dainty garters are shown in the no.
ton windows. The elastic is of bright
color, and at each end of the piece form
ing the garter is let in ring, button
holed with silk to match the garter.
Through the rings are drawn the ends
of satin ribbon, also to match, and the
ribbon is tied, thus regulating the size
of the garter. Could anything be more
simple, prettier or more Inexpensive? :?
OF course. the rings could be made Of
gold, and the ribbon bow could be en-
bellished with diamond fringe. but the
charm of the notion is its simplicity and
the effect it has of having been FASH
ioned by deft fingers and invented by
clever head.
Wells are being worn loose at the
lower hem by everyone, and surely they
are more becoming so. Women are
piling on wells, too. You see lot of
swagger folk stay at their summer
places until the first of ice of dismal
weather. They must use the railroad
for getting into town, and they put over
their dotted veil heavy sewing silk
affair of brown, very loosely fastened
and hanging free from the brim OF the
hat. This proved becoming, and lots
Of women who have not the suggested
excuse thus veil their faces and hat.
After all, who is to tell the difference
Detroit Free Press,
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1898-01-29
cHEeRFuLNEss AT HOME.
life Made Easy by the Cultivation OF
Happy Disposition.

Happy Disposition.
Perhaps there is nothing that adds
moro to the happiness of home than
tie habit of cheerfu!ness. 1t is a potent
factor in the secret of housekeeping,
and the housewife who has always a
pleasant smile and soothing word has
already acquired one of the most valua-
BILE accomplishments. AS long ago as
the days of the wise man merry coun-
tenance had its recognized value. II is
duty to be pleasant. Yet how many
neglect this important requirement..
Some women are constitutionally cross
and morose; others are weak and nerv-
Gus, and are made fretful by the exac-
tions of their household cares. But
there is no excuse for much of the fric-
ton that exists in many households.
have been i'm some where the atmos-
phere seemed actually to bristle with
hosti.ities. Everybody was in fret,
and frowns and cross words were the
rule and not the exception. How un-
comfortable life in such home must
be to the inmates, as well as to the pass
ing guests. One learns to shun such
homes as one would n pest-house.
All women cannot be beautiful, but it
is the duty of every woman to look as
well as she can, and nothing adds more
to a woman's good looks than cheer
full countenance. 81 have always" said
the good vicar of Wakefield. "been an
admirer of happy human faces" The
sentiment is universal. The pleasure
thus derived compensates for the abb
sence of beauty. and supplies the de-
ficiency of symmetry and grace.
Cheerfulness can be cultivated and
acquired as we'll as other qualities. II
ones work is exacting and tiresome, it
makes it no easier by being fretful.
Form the habit of being cheerful under
adverse circumstances. "Our happi-
ness" observes a standard writer, sis a
sacred deposit for which we must give
account" A serene and amiable tenn
per is among its most efficient preserva-
tives. 1t is virtue not to be gainsaid.
Admiral Collingwood, one of Eng!and's
great naval heroes, in his letters to his
daughters, says: Il never knew your
mother to utter harsh or hasty thing
to any person in my life" What loftier
eulogy could woman have than that ?
Some women are naturally cheerful,
but allow themselves to be put out by
little things. Suppose the servant has
broken a dish. or the butter doesn't
come, or your husband comes home to
dinner late, does it mend matters by any
impatient complaint? Preserve your
equanimity. The world was not made
in a day. nor was il made all flowers and
rippliug sunshine. Your work will go
along much smoother. you will accom-
plish more. and you will make others
happier by being cheerful.-Woman's
Home Companion.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1898-01-29
walnut Donbon..

Cook in granite ware saucepan. two
cupfuls of sugar and one-half cupful of
hot water without stirring. Watch the
sirup and try it often; when it forms
soft lump on the end of spoon and
before it hairs, remove from the fire and
allow to get cold. Then stir until it
creams. At this stage it can be melted
and made into balls, placing a walnut
meat ON each side fer walnut beHbeHs,
or used to stuff seeded dates. Walnut
meats, candied fruit or white grapes
can be coated with this cream in the
liquid state and thus make a variety OF
candy. BY using coffee instead of wa
ter, coffee cream is the result. 1t is
hard to tell when the sirup is cooked
enough, except by practice, as no rule
of time is reliable. The best way is to
try little in q large spoon, stirring it
with a smaller one. II the candy
creams it is done. This fondant is the
basis of much delicious homemade
candy.-Toledo Blade.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1898-01-29
Lark Knet in . sycanere.

When Manchester (England) timber
merchant was saving a sycamore into
lengths he came across lark knot in the
wood an inch and q half in diameter.
When this was cut through it displayed
the clearly marked outline of bird,
which the merchant deemed curious
enough to have photographed.-Strand
Magazine.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1898-01-29

A clever person who recently attend
ed an art exhibition has drawn up II
set of rules to enable the novice to
know what kind of picture he is look
ing at. He says that if a painter paints
the sky gray and the grass brown he
belongs to the old school.
If he paints the sky blue and the
grass green he belongs to the realistic
school.
If he paints the sky green and the
grass blue he belongs to the impres.
sionistic school.
If he paints the sky yellow and the
grass purple he is colorist.
II he paints the sky black and the
grass red he is an artist Of great dec
orative talent and may make posters il
he Chicago News.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1898-01-29
.r.,,.ht Dessroys Bacteria.

In view Of the destructive effect OF
sunlight, especially OF the blue to the
ultraviolet rays, upon bacteria in
water, Prof. H. Marshall Ward would
explain the comparative freedom of
river waters under the blazing hot sum-
mer sun from bacteria, as against the
more abundant infection of the same
waters in winter. Pasteur and Miguel
found that the germs floating in the air
are, for the most part, dead-killed, the
author holds, by the sun. Yeasts which
normally yegetate on the exterior of
ripening grapes are destroyed, accord
ing to Martinaud, if the heat be very
intense; and Guinti has observed that
the ingress Of sunlight hinders acetic
fermentation. When the typhoid bacil-
lus falls into torpid, dirty water in sum-
mer, it finds a congenial propagating
place. The dirt furnishes it food, alb
serbs heat to increase the warmth, and
keeps on the hostile blue and violet rays.
Popular Science Monthly.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1898-01-29
Th.t woula ne DJmerent.

Col. NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. tries 70
carry water en- both shoulders
Col Frankfort-He is like you IN that
respect, colonel.
..What do you mean. sir?"
81 mean that he would rather carry
water on both shoulders than intro
duce any into his stomach. Louis
Vile Courier-Journal.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1898-01-29

Young Bride ION the train)-l do
hope that the passengers won't find out
that we have just been married.
HelI can fix that. When we near
tunnel I'll 60 into the smoker.-Harlcm
Life.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1898-01-29

In Mexico the laws delays are less
vexatious than in the United States.
Indeed, one hears nothing at all about
delay in the administration of Mexican
justice. A short time ago paymaster
went down into Sonora with between
e. 900 and $1,000. He stopped over night
al 4 ranch, where he was robbed and
m a7dered. The robbers were caught BY
the local police, but the magistrate dis
charged them. Then the government
took = hand in the ahair. The robbers
were caught again and shot immediate
", the magistrate who had acquitted
them was shot, the ranchman At whCse
house the robbery occurred was shot
some distant accessories after the fact
were shot. In al, Is men were shot.
and now life and property are the safer
in Chicago Chronicle. !.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1898-01-29

A little girl has an irreverent habi:
of singing her prayers to kindergar.
zen airs. Her mtoher demonstrated
with her few evenings ago.
'God won't be pleased if yon say your
prayers that way" said the mother.
"Why, He can't hear me?" the child
asked.
"Yes."
The little girl looked distinctly in
credulous.
"Huh!" she said, with all them an
gels singing Post.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1898-01-29
Oheying Inetr1ctlons.

',Children. i hope you peeled the
apples before eating them
SYes, mother dear."
swhat have you done With the peel
ilgs?"
aoh. we ate then aftesl' Whist ts
Eat 6 u i
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1898-01-29
No Luek nj All.

II have been so unlucky this fall"
I'm what way?"
.'Our clergyman has called three
times and each time the maid has told
him had gone to progressive-euchre
party."-Chicago Record.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1898-01-29

United States, was composed of native
Hawaiians, all of whom were accom-
plished musicians. RED FANTON.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1898-01-29
A Play House query.

Those folks who raise applause 50 loud and
long
They are among the mysteries OF this
earth.
Seek they to praisesthe singer or the song?
Or do they merely want their moneys
worth?
-Washin9ton Star.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1898-01-29
mead Wax to Make LemonaAe.

The best lemonade is made by boil
ing sugar and water together and add
ing the lemon juice after it is cold. Use
one pound Of sugar to each quart of
water; add the juice of six lemons and
the desired quantity Of water at serv-
ing time. Pineapple lemonade may he
made by boiling together one quart o.
water, one pound Of sugar and the
grated rind Of one lemon for five min
utes. Strain; when cold, add the juice
Of six lemons. one pineapple pared and
picked into small particles, and either
! quart Of water or quart of Apolli-
naxja Nafer-LAdiess Home Journal.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1898-01-29
HE ORDERED LoesTERs.

And the Waiter Could Not Make Him
Regret It.
A certain western congressman came
here at the beginning of the last ses-
sion of congress. He stayed at one of
the large hotels. and arriving after the
dinner hour, he ordered supper served
in his room. Lobsters were on the bill
of fare. Now, the congressman knew
oysters and he knew CLAIMS. Lobstera
were classed with them, and he deter.
mined to try the new delicacy.
Bring me a dozen Holsters" he said
to the waiter. The walters eyes stood
out.
"Sah!" he gasped.
"You heard me, didn't you?" said the
congressman, who hadn't the mildest
temper in the world. II said wanted
a dozen Holsters, didn't L? viii have
to have my orders printed and bound
and sent by mail? Didn't say WANTED
dozen lobsters?"
"Yas, sah," said the waiter, "but it's
large order"
81 ordered it, didn't II" snapped the
congressman. "Don't look like man
who knows what he wants? Did say
wanted small order? Iwant dozen
Holsters, say"
Well, later three walters, or perhaps
it was four waiters-anyway it seemed
to the congressman like a Labor day
parade of waiters-appeared bearing
Holsters. The room fairly blushed with
Holsters. The congressman was taken
aback, but seeing a grin on the face
of the foremost waiter he drew him.
self up and ordered the Holsters set
down. The walters departed. The con.
gresham sat down and ate Holsters till
the very thought Of Holsters made him
groan. Then he opened his trunk and
filled it full of lobster meat. The night
was dark and rainy. The congressman
opened his window and deftly threw
choice morsels into the street. It took
him nearly all night to do it, but when
the waiter was summoned he fairly
turned pale. There was one-half of a
lobster and a mighty pile of debris.
And the bill the congressman had to
pay before he left with his trunk full
Of Holsters next day was really cheap for
the pleasure of seeing the look of awe
which came over the walters face as
the congressman remarked, carelessly:
"Take these things away; l wasn't
yery hungry."-Washing Post.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1898-06-17
THEIR SERVICES RECOGNIZED.

Secretary Long Compliments the Captains
and Omcers of Marietta and Winslow.
Washington. June -6--Secret3rv Long
has determined that no American officer
who has distinguished himself by note
worthy gallantry shall lack recognition
IL tho matter comes under his roti.e.
He recognized in the Es7l and energy ana
discretion exhibited by Captain F. NJ.
Slmonds worthy " omcial nraise, where
upon ne addressed the .ollowing letter 10
him:
"Navy Department. Washington, June
Il. lS,>-To tho comman~.ng officer OF
the Marietta: In acknowlcdcir- the re-
mort Of the 9Th relative 20 the passage or
the L. 5. 5 Marctta from sun Jose de
Guatemala 10 Key West, the department,
takes occasion 20 congratulate you and
those under your command upon the suc-
cessfil termination OF your long voyage
The department desires 10 express 70
YOU and through YOU 20 the officers ana
men under your command It's appreciation
o. the efforts made by them to carry out
their orders. Il Is such zeal and spirit
as hns been shown hy the officers and men
OF the Marietta that has brought GO
successful end every enterprise UNDER
taken by our service during the present
war JOHN D. LONG
secretary Of the Navy
The department has Just had time to get
along 10 the fine display Of courage made
by captain +. NJ. Nevcomb, commanding
the revenue cutter Hudson, In the engasc-
ment OF the Spanish forces az Cordenas
on IN llNl ~ last month In which Ensign
Ragley and several others were killed oNo
Lieutenant Beruadou wounded on the tor
pedo boat Winslow. Secretary Longs
praise In this ease IS the more gracious
masmuch as 1t is directed to a revenue
marine officer and not 20 an officer in ms
own department He directed the fol-
lowing to the secretary of the treasury
on June Is;
81 have Jne honor to acknowledge tho
receipt OF your letter Of the 9th inst. aHd
TO forward herewith a copy Of the report
received. The rescue Of the Winslow by
the Hudson was so calamity done in the
face Of the most galing fire that her
captain officers and mon deserve the
warmcst commendation, The Wnslow
was ridded with shell and disabled ard
HELPLESS drifting onto the beach into the
hands of the enemy, her captain wounded,
her only other officers and half the crew
killed. but the Hudson courageously re-
NAMED by her In the very center Of the
hottest fire Of the action, although in
instant danger of going ashore on account
of shallow water, until finally line was
gotten to the Wlnslow and the vessel
drawn out Of the way Of the enemy's
guns. JOHN d. LONG
Secretary
| The report OF Captain Newcomb upon
which the secretarys letter was based
was as follows:
AT 1880 a. M, while of the entrance
10 Cardenas bay, the Huuson was ordered
by the senior officer present to accompany
the U. S. S. Wilmington and the U. 5, tor
pedo boat Winslow inside. All three YES
sells started immediately and after some
preliminary soundings to determine the
best water, passed through Blanco chan
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1898-06-17

fn1r'Ies at Washington. Il has shown
ihe sDannris 90 be DARING bush fighters
and has developed several small defects
lu tls navy guns under certa,n c3n1ll OBS
Most of the Span.arts seen ,n daylight
attacks wore scarcely anything except
Dig p,aua leaves bound around their
ipr,hsads Do lieu ~ hats This acted as
an effective disguise IN yhe bush. Others
were stripped % q pair of dirt coiorcd
trousers. tIed branches around their
waists reaching shoulder high and mov-
Ing very cautiously they could even cross
open ground without being detected.
h1urh some of them were caugAt az me
game
AnUhar trick was to make @ moving
screen ol two or three big palm leaves.
alrct Impossible 20 Ge,ect whore stun,el
palms everywhere rise out ot the chap
ure..
The Cuhlns were mass useful in no'ni-
nz ouI ,h,se tricks. There are sixty OF
these men now in camp m'sy re..a
with Cuban officers Al night in tha
4Nrm.sh Zine the marines say the Cuoan-
ro through the brush Ike rabbits, Their
chief faux. however. Is their reckless
handling OF the new magazine rifles,
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1898-06-17
SET OF FOREIGN COwARDs
Crews of the Yale dad Harvard Are
Afraid to Go to Sea for Fear
There May Be IN 0ppor-
tuaity to Fight the
Spaaiar5s.

~ AN FRANCISCO, June is.-
~ -Four trains with TENNESSEE
4 volunteers arc exEecsed to ar
nve this evening. The troops
Win probariy cross the hay-aHd march
10 c,nnp Merritt on Friday morning.
The Thlrteenth Minnesota win give an
exhibition driu a, Mechanics pavilion
on Friday. The proceeds to 90 70 the
Red Cross fund
Boy H. Burton OF Omaha. who IS
seriously 81 Of pneumonia at the city
and county hospital. is not a member
OF the Nebraska volunteers, as at first
reported. He came to this city With
the regiment. but did not enlist in Il.
seargents NJ. c. Coey. John stringer
and J. W, Chnds Of the First battaI-
ion. Washington infantry, have been
ordered to Seattle and Spokane on
recruiting service Sergeants Ray
mond Drake. William II. Darr. and
james Reld,of the Second battalion.
viii recruit at Vancouver. Yakima and
walla walla. Private John H. stew
ems. who came from Wana walla with
troon L. First cavalry, died at the
Preside yesterday Of pneumonia.
The men Of company E, First Idaho
volunteers, have presented captain
Thomas E. Homer with a gold mount
ed sword and scabbard. duplicates OF
those given to General shaf,er when
he left this city.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1898-06-17
THREE THOUSAND HORSES


Washington, June IA special 70 the
Post from Tampa says:
Al 10 o'clock tonight SNo horses and
mules broke from the corrals and stnm-
peded through the camps OF General Car
penter's brigade II was dark and the
excitement was So intense In the District
Of Columbia camp that q was impossible
20 learn II any men We're hurt The panic
among the men was terrific. The officers
tried to get their companies into line but
the army OF wild horses maue thar im-
possible Many men began shooting at
the excited animals It seems impossible
TO stop the stampede tonight
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1898-06-17

N"ul.u. last .ahr II W|.r.tH W.t r.'.A
.ua...- chance Tan-. 1 pound chars
.f r.. cotton wt.g soma .E.r .ae forua-
a...rs .t na an.ranr. Tn. design w3s
Cd. #r.l. tt.rl Loo ags u.y around ih. angle
I..,s ..f l..s r.r.a,a,, nr which go M1rro
.. ....t.I uh.rr 4. Na. known rAa-
.n.. .Iastruytrs were yue T.o charge
u.r. trIr ts na r.nar v,rg heard. o.
s..af.r.tr OF a. cNraeaH at uu r'.-
..r H a...r Whether -l. l.-tuy,rs
So -. demolished 4 ua. known. bal iA.
I..lrt...,.. .r,.l N th, gun cotton a large
--I b. would na. h. slr,r .ae f one or
i.fH -arr... hu.tr W.r. d, goyfi. Tho
.t,..I. ..r,.... e.r. fel s..H terrible force
,a D.,..m..h. A ert,r a.- enough u
hu.4 . church .,,i. blown or.t.d, 90. cty1-
smith sn.I .v.ts ., .lgiy se.n from me ships
fn.. morning
Admiral sampson issued au order for
rI. .,.r.IlrIm,n. asf night Coffee Was
..-...I f, .a. mon ft $3.50 hI, morning,
.,.I y...s th. ars blush of dawn the men
] ,.... ..II..l-, ali.-t,r- Tl. ships -,ulm-
I'D e,. tr,.4 ln "a rlsl yard range.
ys..r lr,, .Is.Dl up braadsdg on uutI
I tb. g..,4re, az th-.e cable lcn-ths soplg-
.f.1 ,b.n Thry v,r. strung out In tHe
| s,--a .,f., .r..sc.nf ,t.. heavy lighting ships
I,.,b.. ...rt.r fb. nlesh.p an the r.sht and
,... ,r,s... .,i,asfts oD rh. left hank. The
/ r,. ,.,,,tnss stationary through1ut the
b ,.,r.t,,,ri when IN, ships 90. into
/ r,s.,.,p b., y,,s stU to, dark for arv nr-
/ i,-, rb, admiral sicnaued the ships not
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1898-06-17
CABLE FOR MANILA.

san Francisco, June 16-General Mer
riam. in command Of the department OF
California. win depart tonight for Van
couyer barracks for a weeks stay in con-
nection with his duties as commander Of
me department OF the Columbia.
Another interesting bit OF Information
from headquarters was the announcement
that the war department had sent q big
supply OF submarine cable and telegraph
wire TO this city 70 be forwarded 10 Ma
Mia by the next transports, The cable
win be used 20 connect the principal ISL
ANS with Manila after possession Is mad
by our troops.