New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1898-08-05

Rico. according to The Cleveland Plain Dealer:
"Yank he dood he coma to Ponce
Ride in onna pone he,
Stuck all fez are In hees cap
An Gala heem ma-ka -ronee.
Yank he dood. all. no. no, no!
Yank he doody dan dee.
Yank he dood a. Cen-ral Miles!
Yank he doody dan dee,
Troublesome Ferry-Dld you have much bother
getting Drlnkhorn home last night?
s,ores o his roubes be was reens Of the sd
walk-(Cincinnati Enquirer
Mrs Louise II. Pratt Of Sherwood. Wis. thinks
that sweet young things with golden hair should
not monopoize the privilege of naming warships so
she wants to be allowed to name the battie-ship
Wisconsin. Among her qualification she mentions
the following: She is ffty-one years DID, got her
education in a little log schoolhouse In Wisconsin.
knows how cook. knit spin and make soft soap.
wears her hair short and has chrstened and reared
two boys and two girls Of her own.
This Is the parlor. eh?" tentatively remarked
the real-estate agent. who was looking over the
Yes" replied the old man Kidder: but usually
call # the courtroom-Tve got seven daughters. you
know."-0farpers Bazar
gentleman who travelling recently near
Chester. Penn. came across a farmer whom he
took to be a Quaker. and determined TO please him
BY talking to him in the Quaker dialect. AS he
How do thee do sir? Ts-that isare thee
moditat,ng" II he was delighted he controlled his
emotion admirably All he did to cape and In
quire: Hey?
1.-The fields. the birds, the flowers, pleasantly
pursued, are enough to bring thou dreams-I mean
dreams to thou
He was looking at now. and critically.
felt that my syntax had been very .dotic instead
OF idiomatic: so. wlping the sweat from my brow
and hat l eyed him calmly and observed: Those
cows are they thys--or thees-that is. thou's-
durn It. mean thine's?'
1T was very unfortunate. He crawed down
from the fence, nibb;ed at plug OF tobacco. and
as he ambed away muttered Indignantly: Go to
Bedlam. I'm a farmer. but. thank heaven I'm not
n loonatic."
Some Men Are Brutes.-"Ah." sighed Mrs: Plim-
sole. were never sure OF anything in this life"
you're quiet for bali a minute / am sure that
you'll say something soon or bust. and I've n,ver
missed 1t yet."-(Washington Leader
member OF the crew OF the Yankee tells The
Electrical Review" OF an incident that happened
aboard that vessel during the recent cruise. Said
he: I'VE were out at sea. and one Of the boys-you
know hm-was doing his trick at the wheel. Com
mander Brownson up alongside him. and.
after watching him a few minutes said: You steer
very we'll my man. Billy just saluted-being UP
on naval etiquette. Been practising since you
ioined tho ship?' asked Brownson. No. sir;
haven't been practising nucn, shlu wen.
you handle this ship II you'd stcered before
said Brownson Yes sir said Billy: I have
.Where7 said Brownson All along the Atlantic
coast says Billy. What did you steerT says
Brownson. My own steam yacht. sir. says Billy.
How big is she? says Brownson. after a pause.
About thousand tons. sir says Billy II see.'
says Brownson. 'Thank'ee. SIR says Billy. salut-
Ing And the old man went to his stateroom.
.Hampsley worked hard for three years trying to
get a public office" 49,
Indeed, What's he doing now?
Why how can he AFFORD to do thatG'
"He got the office."-(Chicago News
The following notice has been tackled up in the
nostoffice at St Johnsbury, w. by citizen OF
Benson. who seems to be In serious trouble: Lost
Is There Any one that can tell where my wife IL
and Little Girl Is II so Please rite and send Full
Address and will do the fair thing Address all
letters C. l.. Monger. Benson. W.
~. II. B." member Of the 18Th Regiment; at
the soldiers entitled Camp Life in Nutshell
Singing ballads playing .,,mH;n cards IDS ID,
Marching .,ss,n d5lI nh'|Ea.o ssSrSsIns'
standng guard until your back aches;
cSss su esmS a HSSkaHs ss' SasS H up
Eating bareback; cleaning paths;
Wondering when wen meet the Spaniard:
Reading papers reading books.
Fasting, grumbling. GUESSING cooks;
Writing letters. cleaning tents up.
In our trousers sewing rents up
Drilling like old-time cadets.
Smoking pipes and cigarettes.
Telling stories. making wishes.
Splitting wood and washing dishes;
Turning In at sound Of taps"
Spoutng verse and shooting craps;
Getting up at o'clock.
Wanting hight and hearing talk;
Thinking that were not In clover
Wondering when the war'll De over.
-(Buffalo Commercial