Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1898-04-02

q Ere@cner VINO wanted TO GIVE Ills de-
ceased Relative the Finest Funeral Ever
Seen In Cincinnati--other "Reminiscences
of Uadertahers.
Sorapbooks of queer experiences are
eome Of the Cincinnati undeTtakers, and
tho other day an Enquirer man set the
leaves of these odd volumes Affirming.
Skipping the grewsome, few of the more
exceptional incidents are as follows:
DOUBTLESS the only time In all the his
tory Of America that an undertaken cor
nered the coffin lumber Of city In order
to got certain funeral order occurred in
Cincinnati, said one of the Oldest mon in
the business. at happened away back In
1862" continued the gray haired and age
bent funeral director, land was this: A
relative of Presby terian minister named
Isaac Wilson had died, and the preacher
was possessed of the enormous vanity to
have the funeral exceed anything of the
Kind ever known In Cincinnati up to that
time. He assumed the expense and went
ahead to carry out his lofty ambition. He
determined the coffin should be Of ma
hogany, o wood that was mighty scarce In
Cincinnati In those days. The first under
taking firm he happened to tackle was
that of Enooh G. Megrue & Jim Lyon.
Megrue was an old fire department chief
and his partner, Jim Lyon, was one of
about the hottest undertakers that Cincin-
nati ever knew either before, during or
since 1853. Jim gave the extravaganza
preacher the stifest sort of price as to a
mahogany coffin. Indeed the price be
named was so terrible that it simply and
almost literally knocked Mr.. Preacher
- -, 4
declared he could beat the price by many a
dollar
Now James knew all about the preach
CT being man who when he set his head
On having thing he would have It, AS
the preacher went out the front door Jim
few out the back one, and, rushing around
to every shop and lumber dealer in town
that kept mahogany, he bought up every
foot they had, total of about $50 feet.
When Mr.. Preacher came to visit the other
establishments, he found that none of
them could fill his order. So back he went
to Jim's and began pleading for cut rate
on mahogany enough to build the coffin.
No, sir; not a cent Of cut. On the con-
traFy, Jim told him that he had discovered
mahogany was moro precious in Cincin-
natl than he'd ever dreamed of, and there
upon Jim showed up the price on the coffin
several notohes higher than the figure he
had previously named.
After making a terrible kick the
preacher, with more sand than sense, gave
Jim the order for the mahogany coffin.
Then the preacher SGT out to quietly get
even with the crafty James.
Instead of ordering the carriages of
Jim, the preacher went out and hired else
where. But that WASH t all he did. That
vain preacher went around to every livery
stable in Cincinnati and hired every rig
they had for the funeral Then he sent
out among the country members of his
church and got every buggy and wagon
obtainable, Next be gave orders to have
this caravan Of vehicles driven through the
slums of the town, with the drivers in
structed to invite every loafer, loiterer and |
hobo they saw to get in and have ride. |
The drivers did exactly as they were told
and the result was the worsedly cosmopol-
itan funeral that ever took place in Amer |
lea. There wero over 100 vehicles in line,
and every one Of them was crowded. The |
preacher was bound to have the largest fu- |
neral procession ever in Ohio, and he had |
it,"
Another old timer told this:
1T may amaze the public. immensely, |
but almost any undertaken will tell you |
that 1t is common thing for people to or
der coffin and all funeral arrangements |
for sick relative-and the relatives re-
cover as often as they die. l once had a |
man tell me the date and even the hour |
he wanted me to bury him. And 1 buried |
him exactly at tho time no said. No, it
wasn't case of premeditated self murder
NOT at all. And that is Just why the
Ill 4
of the heart. He understood his case per
fectly. He had me come to see him on Tues
day and told me he would DO dead in time
SO that his funeral could, without unseen
ly haste, occur the following Friday at 2
o'clock. He said he didn't want his wife,
who was all worn out taking care of him,
to have to be bothered arranging for the
funeral, so he went ahead and ordered ev.
erytbing himself /
Although it was 90 years AGO. 1 re-
member how matter of fact be was about
1t all. While talking to me be was sitting
bolt upright In a straight backed chair.
He said: If / should bend over the least
bit to one side now, would die instantly.
My heart would be drowned He died on
Thursday morning, and the funeral 90.
Cured the next afternoon at 3 O'Clock.
just as he had ordered"
Continuing, the relator of this added:
Lots of people think they have met the
meanest man in the world, but once met
very worthy candidate for the honor OF
that title. He was quite wealthy fellow,
and his only child died. was the under
taker. Tho body was put in a vault. Next
day after the funeral that man came
around with the handles he had gone out
to tho cemetery and taken off his child's
collin and wanted to sell them back to
me. cincinnati Enquirer.