Kansas City journal. [volume] (Kansas City, Mo.) 1897-1928, 1898-07-01
JEALOUSY A GOOD THING.
women Can Make 1t n Means to At
tract Men, Says q New York
phv~icfnn

womea Can Make 1t n Means to At
tract Men, Says q New York
Physician.
Woman is instinctively Jealous. Man II
too, but he won't acknowledge 1t and rare
~ shows it. Indeed, he speaks of jeai-
ousy as one of woman's few base and rep
rebensible traits, and declares that 1t is
at the bottom of more misery than the
devil himself. There's one man in this
city who doesn't think that way. He Is 4
physician with large practice among the
very rich and the very poor. He ought to
know what be is talking about, for he has
seen much jealousy In his time and
watched it's physical and psychological ef-
feet.
Il don't know what to do about Polly"
a doting mother said to him recently. She
has the most jealous disposition I've ever
EECwn. not envious. mind you, but Jeal-
ous- She is as generous and loving as she
can be, and is always glad to see other
people get what they want. but she Is
jealous of the affections of those she loves.
1t is such a hateful trait. and I'm sure l
don't know where she gets 1t. unless from
her fathers side, for nobody in my family
WIS ever jealous l wish you'd tell me how
to obliterate this despicabie passion In
her"
Jealousy isn't a despicable passion
answered the doctor, calmly, "and you
mustn't think of trying to eliminate it
from your daughters nature. Jealousy
/, has distinct beneficial value. not only III
wGm;. nkind, but in mankind. The thing for
You TO do is 10 teach your daughter TO
control this passion. and not allow it TO
control her, as she must do, judging from
what you have told me- What are her
Not any different from those OF aye
girls out of ten. answered the mother.
hut L do not like them. all the same.
Polly can't bear to have any one she cares
10: show another person any attention:
She is jealous if her father caresses one of
the other children wee bit more than he
does her; she is jealous If see great
deal of any one of my friends: she gets
furious If her brother pays some girl over
certain amount of attention.. she is an
girl, and she fumes and frets herself into
a fever If her fiance. who is absolutely de-
voted to her, so much as mentions an
| one that he is fond of. Really, the girls
health is being affected. i believe, and I
knew her disposition Is. She Is nervous.
altogether. is becoming quite unbearable.
Now. what am to do?"
Il thought So" said the doctor. I've had
lots of cases like that. Jealousy, which 1
hold is fine thing in itself. has the up
per hand of Polly. and you must help her
to get the upper hand of it. She must do
| take to suppose that we must surrender
our will to come out of darkness into light.
| You know it Is only through will that any
| progress can be made. for growth is
through desire, and desire is the expression
| of will. You may wonder what this has to
do with Jealousy, but you'll see in a min
| Ute VIII Is a divine inheritance given US
and love is absolutely the only source of
| WILL Passions mastered are useful and
| obedient slaves; uncontrolled; they make
| slaves of us. What is in the mind ex-
presses itself in the body. and that's ths
reason @ Polly's health is being undermined
! inordinately developed in her. and II she
| continues to foster It she will drive her
| fance and friends all away from her. It
Is wise provision of nature that ones
family can't get away. Many a man is
| driven away from home. driven even to
the divorce courts: driven to another wom-
an. on account Of tine insane and unrea-
sonable jealousy of his wife. In such cases
| the wife is the slave of this emotion. On
! the other hand. If she makes jealousy her
! slave. she can chain husband. family and
/ friends to her, especially the husband"
| why. what do you mean?" interrupted
| the mother.
I Is naturally polygamous animal. He
/ really never tires of honey, though he
: often claims to, but he doesn't like to
take it forever out of the same dish. He
likes to fit from flower to flower slipping
little sweetness of one kind here. and a
little of another there. If his mother. or
| sister, or wife. or sweetheart. as the case
| may be, shows a proper amount Of jeal-
ousy, she can bind him to her and deter
tLs,oa this amusing but not socially approved
en-, SO much berated by their own sex.
| does more to keep married men true to
themselves and to those they really .ove
| than all the bugaboos of the hereafter
ever presented from Puritanical pulpits.
| When woman is master of her jealous
can use 1t to fiatter man until he doesn't
| know whether he Is walking right side up
or crab fashion. You women make a great
mistake in supposing that the way to a
| through his vanity. The average man Is
immensely pleased when any woman in
| whom he is interested gives evidence of
jealousy, provided she does it in an artis-
tic and refined way. She mustn't sulk and
pout, and fret and fume. and rear and
rage, as you say your daughter does. for
| appearance and woman makes a bad mis-
take to do anything or indulge in any
should let 1t creep out in little ways that
she is jealous. and man knocks under
| at once"
''But how can teach my girl to do
that?"
An intensely jealous person thinks a
great deal about herself" said the doctor.
Talk frankly and lovingly ami l-tehdeFE
to your daughter about this Show her
how she Is making herself and every one
around her miserable by giving way to this
passion. but at the same time show her
that the emotion of jealousy has its benefits
ana can be used to great advantage. Tell
her that when jealousy rules a woman il
love; that its tendency is narrowing and
be!ittling- Teach her that she can con-
quer this emotion only through will. Help
hef to understand that perfect love rem
ders fear impossible, and that. if she loves
those dear to her in a true. unselish way
she will have no fear II they chance to
show affection for another than herself
Parents make such a mistake in decrying
ald deploring emotions that master their
children. in groaning and saying that it Is
the old Adam in them and can't be helped
Every passion. every emotion given to hu-
man beings. is a positive benefit to the
| race If mastered. and probably most OF
all the passions Is this emotion Of jeal-
Ousy."