Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1898-04-27

Fay the debt, and are done.
No marble marks the place:
The common forest brown
Covers them over with Quaker grace
just where they laid them down.
But a few years. if you see
In Summer deeper green
Here and there. it is like TO be
Inc spot where the bones have been.
Thus, nor more, to the poor dead year,
No grave, nor ghostly stone,
But greener life and warmer cheer
BE the only sign that he's gone.
William Herbert Carruth in Boston Chris
tan Register
A crop that harvests itself-A crop of
wild oats.
They meet to part again-Scissors.
Good going concerns-EXpress trains.
Frederick Maccabe, the celebrated ven
triloQuial entertainer, was once in Lanca-
shire at the time when the name of Joe
Goss, the champion pugilist, was in every
ones mouth. He was walking quietly
along, says the author of ''Tales from
Table Talk" when a clogger came up
and evinced disposition in the direction
of Quarrelsomeness. Thinking to intimi-
date him, Maccabe said, DO you know
who / amp No was the reply.
well, I'm Joe Goss!' shouted Maccabe
mpresSlyely. Are you, by Jove?' re-
piled the clogger joyfully. II never had
a go with Drizetighter but here goes
and Maccabe was dealt the Severest blow
on the jaw he ever received.
-:O:-
Strong-Minded Woman (pointing to ar
ticle III paoer)-''Sir did you write that"
Terror-Stricken Editor-"Y-yes, mad
am. II wrote it,
Strong-NIinded Woman-"It meets my
approval exactly. 1t is seldom one meets
a person of your sex capable of such just
discrimination. Will you marry me, sir?"
Chicago Tribune.
In a case tried in Gloucester some years
since in which a Q. Chow a Judge
was sitting as judge in the second court,
the counsel for the plaintiff put a question
that was objected to by the defendants
counsel. and, after a good deal of argu-
ment on both sides, the plaintiffs counsel
said, ''Well, my lord, if you do not allow
me to put the question, you know what
course l shall pursuen' The judge al
lowed the question to be asked. Meeting
him at luncheon afterwards, he said,
'Oh, T., what did you intend doing if l
had not allowed you to put the question
this morningE' Il intended to sit down."
was the reply.
faced
Lulu-''I should think you would, espe-
cially if your other face was anything
like the one [ see.'-Ionkers Statesman.
4 gentleman discharged his coachman
for overturnng him i'll his carriage on
his way home from a dinner party. The
next morning the man asked to be for
given, and confessed that he had drunk
sill 20
not very drunk; and gentlemen. you
know, sometimes get drunk" "Well,"
eplied his master, L don't say you We're
cry drunk for gentleman-but you
were very drunk for Il coachman, SO go
about your business
Customer-"Have you any securing
sand?'
Grocer-'tNo. were entirely out Of it."
Customer-"Well, give me half pound
OF your sugar; my tins have to be secured
today, no matter what it sts."-Harlem
Life.
1t was at Lyceum rehearsal. A
magnificent climax had been reached in
the dialogue, and the moment arrived for
the effective use of the usual stage thun-
der and lightning. The stage carpenter
was given the order. The words were
spoken, and instantly a noise, which re-
sembled succession of pistol Shots was
heard off the wings. BOUNDS, men,"
shouted Sir Henry Irving, rushing behind
the scenes-"do you call that thunder?
It's not q bit like it.' Sorry, SIR was
the carpenters reply; "but the fact is [
couldn't hear you because of the storm,
That was real thunder, sir!'
10"
IF you insist upon knowing, there are
two reasons for my refusing you
And they are?'
Yourself and another man."-Life.
-:O:-
81 need new shirts!' yelled his ward
robe.
Il must have new shoes screamed
his wife's.
I'VE need new frochs, new coats, new
stockings" squealed the children's.
Il must have a barrel Of f1our.''
shrieked the larder.
4 can't wait longer to have my boiler
fxed"' shouted the kitchen.
Il don't see how | can get along with
out new dinner set.' moaned the pam
try:
Il need a new carpet" groaned the
parlor.
II need this. I must have that. I
can't wait longer for t'other!' grunted.
groWled, cried and hoWled every nook
and corner in chorus.
SO, il is no great wonder that the poets
$40 bill mysteriously disappeared and
left no trace behind.-Harper's Bazaar.
HOPE.
And what is hope?
A telescope
That faireSt future maSnitieS;
But one eye sees