The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1898-11-17

Stranger with noteboOk)-lf you
will grant me few moments CONVEX
=sation you will do me great favor
and place the entire world of modern
literature under eternal obligations.
Fair LADY, do not quite under
stand you, but 1 will be glad to be of
service.
ooh, thank you. Your eyes are deep
blue, not violet, are they?"
d. believe So"
"Thank you, am little color blind.
What is your exact height?"
"Really, cannot imagine"
"Ah, never mind if you do not know,
i can guess at that. Where do you
buy your stockings?"
"Sirr'
stockings. And how much material
does it take to make dress for you?"
"Sir, /"
''Take your time to figure it out. No
hurry. Please give me your exact
height; also size of your neck and bust,
goodness, mel the lady has gone.
She was just what 1 wanted for the
heroine of my new realistic novel, but
L presume she couldn't wait."-New
York Weekly.
A prison chaplain recently related,
at religious meeting, one of his ex.
periences in convict prison. He had
Uicifod cioly told tho
warden that if the man grew worse in
the night he-the chaplain-was to be
called In the morning he found that
the prisoner had died in the night; and
calling upon the warden to account for
his neglect, the latter assured him that
it was all right, for he had "offered
few words" himself The following
appear to have been the words of COM
fort that the warder found appropriate
to the occasion: Warder: "Awkins,
you have been a bad 'un." Prisoner,
YEARLY: Yes, sir, ave" Warder:
@'Awkins, there is no 'ope for you"
Prisoner, sadly: "No, sir; no 'Ope."
Warder, relentessly: "Awkins, you
will go to bad place." Prisoner,
turning relentlessy: "'Awkins, be
thankful that you have place to 60
TO-"
An exchange gets this off at the ex-
pense of a religious crank. He proph-
qasied that the world would come to an
end on a certain date, put on his ascen-
sion robes and climbed to the top of
straw stack and waited for his doom.
He got tired of waiting, and, forgetting
himself, he fell asleep. Some boys dis
covered the man, apd. touching fire to
She straw, aWoke him. Gazing around
at the flames on every side, he cried
ont: "In hell, just as | eXpectedH'
O&o
There is q woman who keeps a hotel
and restaurant down town. She is as
good as good can be, and prominent in
righteous works Last Sunday morning
4 man | know went into her cafe and
ordered breakfast. 1t was little late
and he was hungry. His breakfast or
der included several extras Before a
single dish had been placed before him
che propretress walked up to his table
and said ina voice that was perfectly
understood to everybody in the room:
would you please pay me now?"
The man looked up in surprise.
"Why, don't owe you anything yet, -
ne said.
"But l want you to pay me noW,''
persisted the landlady. you're the
only one here who is not regular
boarder. L don't know you, and
want to go to church, so please to pay
me now"
The stranger rose in wrath.
MADAM, wouldn't for worlds keep
you from going to church. Here is the
money, and you may keep the break
fast"
And breakfastless, but filled with
rage that made him forget his hunger
the stranger walked out.-Washington
Post.
An eastern farmer hired very mex
perienced boy to help about the place
One morning he told the lad to 60 and