Fort Wrangel news., 1898-06-22

Ada-Jack says he wouldn't marry the incest girl living. Dolly-Pshaw! As If I'd have ehim.-Phlladclphia North American
 Might Be Gratified.-He-What Is he singing? She-"Let Me Like a Soldier Fall" ue-If only had q gun.-Pick- Me-Up.
 Bill-I'm the greatest hand for dream ing fish stories. Jill-That's probably what makes you lie awake so much Yonkers Statesman.
 "I was in an elevator once that fell fifteen stories to the basement" Dear me; how did 1t feel?" "I never was so taken down in my life."-Truth.
 Customer-Is this what you call strong cup of coffee? Waiter-Ies, sure. You could hardly break one of dem cups wit ax.-Indianapolis Jour nal.
 You must be crazy" "MustY "That Is the word. If you won't be insane" continued the lawyer for the defense, q see no way of saving your neck. - Indianapolis Journal.
 While Miss Fltz was away George took her parrot" Anything happcn?' 'I don't know; she keeps the parrot off."-Love and Folly.
 In the Asylum-First Patient (scorn- fully)-Go on! You have wheels in your head. Second Patient proudlyt- Of course I have. And they're chain less wheels at that!Puck.
 Sunday School Teacher (rcading to class)-And some fell by the wayslde. 1 Tommy becoming suddenly interestedJ T didn't know they rode bikes in those | days.-Yonlers Statesman.
 Harry-Darling, I am unworthy of you. Mabel-Oh, Harry, If you and papa agreed on every other point Is well as you do on that how happy we should be.-Illustrated Bits.
 "Would 1t be right to call a house mover a shoplifter?" asked the HmOi- tious boodler. "Hardly,' said Asbury Peppers. He Is apt to be house breaker, though. Enqu!r- CT.
 Ol Il AplItSSc IlbhNtbllObs She (who has just ''come out')-Whdt does Quo Vadls' mean2 He (famous halfback, '0I-"What are you giving usT' or something like that.-Brook- lyn Life.
 Lady Guest (to hostess)-Really l couldn't eat another hot roll, dear. l don't know how many I've had already! T eaten eight! I've been countlng.-BoS- ton Globe.
 The Dun-I hope you won't be offend cd If l remind you that We are very much in need of the money? The Dunned-Not at all. If anybody's So- ing to be offended, it Is yourself ton Transcript.
 Billy Blink Cboxing instructor(-Great Scott. That was an outer yon gave me- But what't that in your glove, 1 say? Amateur Gust learninS)-Oh. that's a horSeshoe-I put 1t there for luck. Tit-Bits. !
 Teacher-You are painfully slov! with figures, Tommy. Come, now, speak up quickly. If your father gave your mother q $50 bill and a S20 bill. what would she have? Tommy-A fit. -Harper's Bazar.
 Foxey-Did you send the Borems a card for your musical? Mrs. FoXey-- Yes: how could l get out of 1t. FoNeY Well, I'll tell Borem that Smith Is go- ing to come Borem owes him money. Philadelphia Record.
 Wallace-Funny how women give up their piano playing and singing as soon as they get married. Ferry-But they don't. That Is just canard started by some woman to encourage matrimOny. Cincinnati Enquirer.
 Judge-The officer says you were drunk and disorderly. What have you to say for yourself? The Culprit- Drunk, perhaps. your honor, but not disorderly. A drunk is always In order with me.-Indianapolis Journal.
 Do you really mean to stand by what you say about retiring from pub lie life?' Inquired the intimate friend just before an election. ''How do I knowY' responded the politician. I'm no prophet. et."-Washington Star.
 T trust" she said, patronizingly, ''that you are true aTtlst-that you confine your efforts to on elevate'l plane.' "Assuredly, I do, madam" was the reply. ''I am q frescoer and in variably work with a ladder.