The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1898-02-11
SOME PECULIAR AILMENTS.
Ludicrous Letters That Are Receiv-
ed ut the Pension ONCE.
From the Kansas city Journal.


From the Kansas City Journal.
Washington, Jan. SO.-It Is with no in
tended reflection on the pensioners of the
country, who fought to preserve Il intact,
that a few interesting samples of letters
received by the assistant secretary of the
interior are given below. Some of these
communications indicate that their writers
are more familiar with the use Of a mus
ket or a pile-driver than a pen but what
ever they may lack In spelling and con-
struction is amply compensated by their
humor.
One is from a mountain doctor In one OF
the Southern states, who thus graphically
describes the pathological condition Of one
OF his patients:
''Snakey Nils, -, Feb. 30, 1897.
"Sur-I surtify l treated the sed sojer
fun 1883 to Date-foarmerly his stumik
tube was jined to his nervous systim but
now 1t are rotted Off cosing CRATE expector-
ing and hard OF breth-.
Your obedt servt--
"Dr. j. Haskins. NJ. D."
1t viii be noted the DR." Is mixed in his
dates as well as in his pathology
Here Is another doctor whose treatment
could well be confined to horses:
Amblers -, June g. 1896
Dear Sir-Yours received treated VIM
Akens after he cum Hoam from the eurhs
for polyppp In his noze and Running soar
in his pastur joint
"The polypup cum from the mite are and
esposur--
"The wounds cum from the. click of a
hoars- James Viewer, M. D."
And here is one on the root doctor:
Strain, -, March 20, 189G.-'Presedent
of penseners:--i let you no / wor treted by
a root and erb doctor he give me running
milk weed for running soar and no a vale.
off my claim Is loude | can
voate weth a FIRE conchents II g."
But here Is one from an old fellow who
had no faith In doctors and cured himself.
"Barbersville, -. Sept. H. 1s95.-'Sir:
At Bermuda Hundred l
had great deal trouble with my bowels.
The DIR. gave me quinine-no good One
day member of our band-the base drum
mer-gave me four boxes of Brandths
Pills. | was helped. AT Red River / was
again attacked with dyspepsia and bow
els. l went and got bottle of French red
wine and a pound of cheese which cured
me at onct. The DR.. done me no good.
! while In Tennessee got a sunstrole
/ ana now have cold air resting on my
lungs and Angelina Pictorials, which the
DR.. says is result of sunstroke
~. Fl. s."
One could stand the bottle Of French red
wine ind the pound of cheese, but the An
| geina Pictorials are to be dreaded.
| A week or so ago the assistant secretary
received a letter from a German who
! claimed pension because ION the 18th or
September, 1889, lifted a hog over a fence
and have suffered from asthma ever
1 since"
Abe Cumens-that name Will do-tells a
pitiful tale. He says:
| we was worlin on tina canal around
nand no 10. We was cutten down trees un-
der water. Tha was a tug steamboat pullin
out tina trees. One end of the rope war
tached TO tina Captain (capstan), the other
end to tina tree The rope slack under the
water l war In tina water. tina water was
up 70 my waste l war straddel tina rope.
but unbeknowrst-al of a suddent ths
| steamer footed, tina rope timed. and war
throne hel Ito Breakfast; and now by quinn.
| 1 want pensin"