Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1898-12-14

w men, at dawn, she went away
John Jerome Rooney.
A large forid woman sat in a Cleve-
land car recently, holding a little boy in
her lap.
Next to her was a pleasant-looking,
middle-aged man, who seemed to take a
great interest in the child. He screwed
up his features for the little fellows bene-
fit, winked at him, and made wonderful
motions with his hands. The mother
knew that something was gong on, but
she paid no attention.
Finally the boy became restless, and al
length began to whine.
Then the man who had been playing
with him pulled paper bag out of his
pocket, and, gently tapping the mother on
the arm, said:
Madam, may I give your little boy a
piece of candy? He is such a dear little
fellow, and reminds me Of the child l haG
once
The forid lady looked at him sharply
for moment, and then replied:
You can give him the candy. if you
want to, but you needn't think no politi-
cal sharper is goin to git me on his side
with his taffy.'
The pleaSant-lOoking man passed over
the piece of candy for which the child
was reaching, and then settled back and
became thoughtful.
Mrs. Johnson-"Did yo' heah de news
Mrs. Jackson? Abe Lincoln was shot
an killed last night whist Robin Squire
Henry's chicken-coop." Mrs. Jackson
"Oh. Mrs Johnson! whad a consolation
it mus be toe his po' ole nudder toe
know dat Abe got religion, wuz baptized.
an fined de chu'ch las Sunday
Judge.
On the occasion of a visit to his native
town by member Of Parliament. one
citizen, who had been prevented from 60
ing to listen to the speech in the town
hall, asked another who had been present
how the distinguished man had been re-
ceived. Did they cheer him?'' he asked.
Cheer him?' said the other; L should
think they did. Why, they gave him a
perfect jobationr' This man must surely
have been related to the long-suffering
landlady who was compelled to put up
with some very NOISY and unruly dodgers,
who were accustomed to make the night
hideous with their unseemly revellings.
She confided her woes to a sympathetic
friend: There's no putting stop to it,
drat 'em, and [ shall be 'aving the police
down on my 'ouse soon, | know [ shall.
It's the same thing every night. As soon
as [ gets into bed, they're up to all their
augeries .''-Cornhill.
The Medium 1.-THE spirit of your de-
ceased wife is now here. Do you wish to
ask her any questions?'' Newly-made
WidoWer-''Yes; tell her I want to know
where she put my winter hannels. =
Puck.
I heard a United States marshal tell
IL, +lo, 11,-
in Truth. He had been ordered to go
after an Indian who wac selling whisky
to his dusky friends. After be captured
the warrior he gave him a long lecture
on the depravity of his conduct After
listening stolidly the halfbreed said:
Amt dere no way | can get helped
outer this?' mo one can help you now
but Cod" his captor answered. The
prisoner shook his head sadly, in hope
less ma nner, as he muttered: ''WelI, God
he good deal like Uncle Sam. Injun nev-
Ell see him."
"Do you doubt my word?' exclaimed
Mrs. Virgins. They were occupying
apartments in a modern fiat. NO re-
piled her husband quietly there isn't
any room here for doubt"-Ohio State
Journal
1t is something new to discover that
a bodily affection can assist one in mas
tering the difficulties Of learning for
eign language, but here is a case of the
kind on record, says the Youths Com
painion.
Miss Gertrude came downstairs one
morning with red eyes, a swollen nose and
a generally distressed appearance.
What is the matter, Gertrude?" asked
her mother.
An awful cold in my head,'' she re-
piled.
Z am sorry" said her sympathizing pa
rent.
Il was when I got up cheerfully re-
joined the young miss, ''but I'm not now.
[ can get that French nasal sound exactly
Tray be-ong. Bong zhoor. How's that?"
The director of matrimonial agency
says the young girls ask only ''Who is
hep the young widows "What is his
position?" and the old widows ''Where is
he?"
Marian, years old, is a cunning little
Mt Vernon girl who attends the Metho-
dist Sunday school, says Truth. Not long
since the golden text of the week CHANGED
to be the verse from Matthew commenc-
ing, LET your light so shine When
Sunday came the little maid trotted off 10
Sunday school with her older brothers
and sisters, and when the teacher asked
her for the golden text" she promptly
slid from her seat and convulsed the class
by repeating gravely: keep your gas
burnin'.''
Sitting on a board slowly freezing to
death while groups of muscular young
men roll one another in the mud" is the
description Vassar girl gives of Thanks
giving football-Philadelph Call.
-:O:-
Frank Daniels has son who appears
to be a chip Of the old block. Recently
the elder asked the younger: sMy boy.
when you are older, and done with your
preparatory schools, what college do Won
want to attend?''
"Vassar," was the unhesitating reply.
''Um." And the comedian got no and
softly whistled Huh! Hanged if I