The record-union., 1898-01-15
TWO AND A MAP.

about a map, he said. you never
need to ask your way. 1t makes you
so much more independent. Doesn't it,
darling?"
Yes, dearest" A gust Of wind swept
down and tore the map-in two places,
as the auctioneers say.
You should have pasted a bit of tape
at the back of the folds" he said Then
it wouldn't have torn"
II would have done it with pleasure,
if you had asked me-
II can't think of everything. How
ever, the first thing to do ia using a
map is to find out where you are on it.
Now, as you see, We are here" He
pointed to spot on the map with his
pencil.
This is the road we are now on, and
that is the crossroad just in front of
u.s."
"Oh, no! That's all wrong"
I'm what way wrong?" he asked.
coldly.
Because the crossroad is a canal"
Il fail to see how a croSsroad can be
a canal. Besides, you can see the road
for yourself-ordinary hard highroad,
and no canal about it,"
Don't be silly, dear. I didn't mean
the crossroad on the-er-earth. I
meant the crossroad on the map that
isn't the crossroad.''
VERY lucid, indeed he observed,
even more icily.
when you try to be sarcastic, you
only make ugly faces, and don't say
anything really good. Look here. You
think that we are at this point on the
map, don't you? Very we'll. And you
think this line represents the crossroad
in front of US, don't you? Very well,
it doesn't. Because that line isn't
meant for road, but canal"
How do you know?"
Because it's colored brown"
ut is. I hadn't noticed it,"
Il knew you were in the wrong, but
you are always so obstinate. Now, as
a road isn't canal"
wait a minute"-rather angrily.
You're quite as wrong as / am. The
brown line means a railway"
IT'S all the same thing. 1 can't
walk on a canal and I can't walk on
railway. At any rate, won't. 1 sup
pose you want me to be run over"
My dear girl, do be reasonable. l
can't ask you to walk on a railway
w Ilcn There ISL any TdHWdy.
You said the brown line meant
railway, you know you did'-very en-
phatically.
80 1t does on the map"
We're not walking on the map.
We're walking on the-er-land."
That is precisely what I was trying
to explain to you. There is no railway
in the-er-reality. and therefore We
can't be at the spot where We thought
We We're"
Where you thought we were. I
knew you were wrong all the time. It's
no good having a map If you don't
know how to use 1t. Give 1t to me-"
She took it, and screwed her eyes up,
examining closely. I've got it," she
cried in triumph This is Pilling."
But we left Pilling an hour ago.
"Of course I'm going to trace our
road from there. Now, look. Here
is the name Pilling. And the little
black spot at one end means the village
itself, the exact position of it,
Thanks for the information"
wait; there's a black spot at each
end of the same There must be some
mistake. o, / see, It's all right. One
Of the black spots is smut. Poof!
Now, I've blown away the spot which
wasn't Pilling."
go on. Blow away the spot which
Is Pilling. Blow the whole concern,
say. I'm sick Of it,
IF you wouldn't lose your temper
and would have a little patience,
should be able to put you right" She
traced with a pin. I'VE left Pnling-
so. Then we turned to the left-so. So
we must be just here now" and she dug
her pin triumphantly through the map
at the point. and 1t went right through
and pricked her knee and hurt her.
IF that Is so,'' he said, II have only
one thing TO ask. It's not important,
of course, but where's the crossroad?"
In front of you, with a white fence
ON each side of it. It's plain enough. y
why do you keep confusing between
the road on the map and the road on
the-er-well, the other ~oad?"
ITS you who make the confusion, -
she said, mixing up railcans With
nalways-I mean, of course, nalrails
with canways-. Oh, you know what
/ meant"
I'm blessed If I do. I only know
there's a crossroad here, and there's no
| crossroad on the map. The map can't
be wrong"
Then the real road must be- she
replied, bitterly. Get a piece of india
rubber and rub 1t out and make 1t At
the map"
| There was moments pause, and
then they both happened to look up at
the same moment, and both exclaimed
| joyously:
Here's boy.'
So they asked the boy the way, and
went on rejoicing, and peace reigned
again.
They left the map behind them by ac-
cident. Afterward they both said that
was a pity.-Harry Pain in Black and
| White.