The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1898-09-21
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

NONSN VT I0C OH U,
She-"Our college has adopted a
cry" "What is it-boo- o-hoo?"-
Brooklyn Life.
Edna-"Your face seems familiar"
Jellaby-"It is. Had it since 1 was
baby. "-Tit-Bits.
Oldrider-"After a bicycle ride, the
finest pick-me-up is" Newrider
-'The ambulance. indianapolis
Journal.
Stiggins-"Bromlert is a man
can't bear" Wiggins-"What did
Bromlert ever do for ?"-Indian-
apolis Journal.
Doctor-"This medicine is to be
taken on an empty stomach" Patient
THAT'S all right. I've just been to
a five O'Clock tea."
Sapsmith (sentimentally)-"Whati is
sadder than 10 have loved and lost?"
Hennypeck tpromptly)-"To have
loved and got her."
Mrs. Cobwigger-"Do you wear
your mothers dresses cut DOWN."
Little Ethel-"No. Ma belongs to
the rainy-day club and wears mine"
He-"What is it about Whirly
that throws all the other fellows in the
shade?" She-'I guess it must be
his family tree. Detroit Free Press.
Minnie-"This weather is SO try
ing, must get something for my
complexion" Mamie-T didn't
know you had any" Indianapolis
Journal.
"Twiggs is a chronic kicker" eyes;
but you've probably noticed that when
a clock strikes all the time nobody
pays any attention to it."-Detroit
Free Press.
"Oall man sad dog" said the
corn-fed philosopher, "and he will
look knowing and feel Aattered but
if you call him miserable pup he'll
want to fight. indianapolis Jour-
nal.
Don't you hate to have meddle-
some people try to find out what you
knowP" "No; what bothers me is to
have meddlesomo people try to find
out what I don't know."-Chicago
Record.
First Member Musical Committee
"Does the new sopranos voice fill the
church," Second Member Hardly.
The ushers tell me thero are always
vacant seats in tho gallery. detroit
Journal.
Angry Pedestrian (picking himself
up)-"The next scoundrel-oh, I seel
1t was o man on horseback. Never
mind, sir, it didn't hurt me. 1
thought it was one of them blamed
bicyclists"
Askins--"What do you think of
Puffington2" Grimshaw -"Oh, he is
the kind Of man who thinks that
when he steps on neond Of the country
the other end aops up in tho air. -
London Figaro.
Father.-"Yes, child, diamonds are
hard anyway you consider them -even
hard to get and hard to keep" Dis
appointed Daughter-"But, pa, they
re hardest of all to be Without
jewelers. Weekly.
Mrs. X. observing her friend at
work upon the floor OF the kitchen)-
"Why in the world don't you get
servant to scour your noors2" "Be-
cause, my dear, I'd have to scour the
town for servant. Life.
"Papa, 1 want q pug-dog; they're
SO 'ristocatic- -lookin'." Bobby, what
do you mean by aristocratic-looking?"
IVY, they looks like they'd git hop
pin mad if they had ter git acquainted
with anybody. Brooklyn Life.
His Wife-''Now you won't forget
any of those things l asked you 10
bring home" The SuburbAnite
tdoubtfullyl-"I hope not Suppose
YOU give me sealed orders not to DO
opened till I reach the city. Brook
lyn Life.
Supplicant-"Remember, sir, that
it is as easy for camel to get through
the eye OF needle as for Iich man
to enter the kingdom of heaven"
Misery Millionaire-"I know It; but
don't expect to have cent with mo
when l present myself at tho gate, -
Chicago News.