New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1898-03-08
THE TALK OF THE DAY.


~ took his best girl 10 the theatre. The curtain
US late in rising and the young woman COM
nlained of feeling faint. The doctor smiled sweet
" upon her. took something out OF MS vest POCKET
and whispered to her to keep the tablet IN her
mouth but not to swallow It. She shyiy placed IL
on her tongue and rolled 1t over and over Dut IL
would not dissolve she felt better. however so
when the show was over she slipped the tablet In
her glove being curious to examine at home this
tasteless indissoluble little substance which had
given her such relief In the opera house. Wnen
alone In her room she pulled of her glove and out
came a button.
Fine pist,ncton.-"They 90 pretty things In 5 t
ton said the Occasional Liar. Nv nat 90 you sup,
pose saw the last time was thereT give IL VP'
t "X sign that said .2 % pants marked down from
s. trousers "-fClncnnat Enquirer
Fifty Texas farmers about to go to Guerrero
Mexico and lay out town. to be called ino
American city" Tho section settled upon Is ono
OF the richest in the State Of San Luis Potosi ana
grows bountiful crops Of cotton. tobacco and sugar
cane The climate Is healthful. and the colonis's
have high hopes OF a prosperous career tor thel
initial venture In tho 'land OF the MONDAY sun
The members OF tho recently settled Cuban coiohy'
situated near Guerrero, have made great sue
cess In tobacco-rasing. and assert that their To-
bacco Is in every way equal to the product OF tho
fields OF Cuba.
says THE Plunkyille Bugle," whose editor did not
set the postoffice has been In Congress year or
9herea bouts and the only measure he mas ever
opened his mouth about Is pint.'-tlndianapoNs
Journal.
Whom Rudyard Kiping visited Cape Town re-
Gently THE Cape Times" published some clever
verses addressed to him. entitled An Experiment
IN Imitation" Of which the following is sample:
We should iiko to come an meet you. but we can't
without a pass;
Even then we'd 'ardly like to make russ;
For out ere they've got a notion that Tommy
isn't class;
.Eys a sort Of brainess animal. or wussl
Vicious cussl
No. they don't expect intelligence from U.s.
You ave met US In the tropics, you ave met US In
tho SHOWS:
But mostly in the Punjab an the Ills
You ave seen us IN Nautilus, where the naughty
cyclone blows.
You ave met us underneath sun that kills.
An we gris.
An, ask YOU do we I'LL the boomn' bills?
poor devil reads in a FRAGMENT Of newspaper
''s sAnd says he sadly II haven't yet seen the
old one!'-tFgaro.
Recently" says The Boston Herald" two gen
tlemen driving in a wagonette. were smoking wheh
a spark falling from one OF their cigars set hre 10
.ome straw at the bottom OF the carriage.
Thu flames soon drove them from their seats,
and while they were extnguishing the fire coun
trvmen who had for some time been following them
on horseback, alighted 10 assist them
"I have been watching the snoke for some time,
said he.
"whv then. did you not give us rotce? asked
the astonished travellers.
We'll" responded the man. there are so many
new-fangled notions nowadays thought you were
going by steam.
First Poe,-I am going to have my revenge upon
Second Poet-How?
First Poet lin hoarse whisper,-I've sent him a
poem. and I've poisoned the gum on the return
envelope.-(London Fun
Burial in Westminster Abbey is not a question
of money but It costs money all the same, and II
the executors administrators heirs and assigns Of
some OF the poets there Inferred had been called
on for the burial fees II Is doubtful X the estates
left would have enabled them TO respond Formerly
tho fees amounted to $50 or f18O. Dean Stanley
reduced them with the result that interment there
now may cost a maximum OF ell Is. I'd, while II
Is possible In to reduce It to about 800.
..The Westminster Gazette" shows how these vary
ing expenditures are ciphered out: For example.
the item OF the fabric fund" may be f28 f36
or f46 according TO the place OF interment The
fees Of the dean canons choir and vergers come to
about f35 and there Is an item Of f3l and odd sh-
lings on Of the silk scarfs. hat bands and
gloves to tho various mnstrants. But It Is
renowned place Of sepuiture. and tenancy there Is
well worth the rather liberal sum which II costs.
Vermont town, and in honor Of the event the COM
% Se ta oo1 D wa as e @ sn4s
was served In teacups. as is said 10 be the proper
style The first trustee took It for coffee. called for
sugar and milk. and used them. passing them to
the second trustee. who followed his example, and
passed them 10 the third. who helped himself, and
sweetened his cup and passed them 10 the
editor took the contents Of his cup to be tea.
to the president and tho rest Of the officals. and
then somebody said SOUP" and thereafter nobody
thought he cared much for bouilon anyway and
now II you ask one OF them DO you take sugar and
milk In your bouiionr' an explosion oocur&-<Troy
PresA