The Hope pioneer. [volume] (Hope, N.D.) 1882-1964, 1898-01-13
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H. s BeezWaxzes: E


And tho sweetest dear in town,
Since then they've joined in welded life
And now she calls him down.
My friend don't fiji. drunkard's grave
not unless you are sexton and can't
get any other job.
This state ought to build health re-.
sort near Bismarck so our state officials
wouldn't have to come so far to draw
their salaries.
The Chicago Inter Ocean says that
China has ceded port to Germany. I
don't know anything about Chinese eli.
mate but it seems to me they have gone
to "ceding" pretty early over there.
Some of these state tickets that the
papers have printed lately, ought to be
quarantined in order to prevent their
spread. We can stand physical cripples
in our state Offices but Heaven deliver us
from mental cripples.
The early bird catches the worm and
tho early office seeker who is putting his
name before the public at this early date
for state office, will get it. He will, no
doubt, carry his neck in sling for
month after he gets it too.
The British government has ordered
the soldiers in Ireland to sharpen their
sword bayonets as fast as possible. They,
no doubt want them to sharpen their
swords so as to be able to cut more of a
figure than they have heretofore.
When the news struck this wigwam
that there were some counterfeit SlOO
bills afloat, the entire Pioneer force ad.
journed for half day to inspect its cur
rency. There was feeling of great re.
lief when we found that all of our 500
bills were all right-every one of them
were found to be-out of sight.
DR.. Nansen is proving to the world
that there is money in trying to discover
the norh pole. Where the money comes
in is after the explorer gets home again
and goes to lecturing about it. Nansen
refuses to write about his trip as he takes
the position that if he writes it up,
people would read it and then they
wouldn't come out to hear him lecture.
This is tho reason the newspapers can't
get him to write an "arcticle'.
Not long ago murderer was sct free
down east and last week Chicago man
was fined 81 600 for having six wives.
This shows how eccentric and unjust tho
law is in some respects. The man who
ought to have been hung was sct FREQ
while the man who ought to have pens
ion for struggling along, uncomplaining-
ly. under load of trouble calculated
for six men, was fined. Verify tho per-
secutor is with us oven unto this day.
Eight dogs collected in front of H. H.
Wasem,s store the other day and pro-
ceoded to engage in an octagonal dog
fight. Presently the ninth dog came
down the street and Immediately jumped
into tho melee. Then the eight dogs
quit fighting each other and began to
swing the nino pin. The last arrival quick
ly saw that he had been littlc too new
in his actions SO he began to extricate
himself from the mass as fast as possible
and when he did get loose he began to
give his whole attention to putting space
between himself and the rest of the dog
fight. Tho last I saw of him he was
out of sight and still going.
Someone got jealous because the dogs
here in town were attracting more atten
ton than he was, so scattered some poi.
son around, one place and another last
Monday, and succeeded in gathering in
one or two of the canine chore. All of
the dogs that partook of the forbidden
fruit didn't die. One large, poor, forsak,
on looking dog stood out between the
Hope house and McCollom g. Merriell's
store with big tears rolling out of his
sorrowful eyes, and every time sharp
pain would take him amid ships he
would hump his back up In the air with
snch suddennes, that it would bring
the end of his tail down onto the frozen
earth with dull thud. He stood there
and failed the earth with his tail for
half an hour, after which the effects
of the poison began to work off and as
he was a worthless dog without home
he got over it and went away.
One evening last week young man
came into Hope and after rubbing him
self down at livery barn he made the
announcement that he would positively
appear for the first time that evening be-.
fore the public on ice, He then went
over to the rink and it could be plainly
seen by the firm lines about his determ.
ined looking jaw that he intended to
skate at all hazards. After splicing him.
self thoroughly onto pair of skates he
stepped down onto the ice and then be-
gan to wait for the crowd to 60 by so he
could launch himself into space. He
didn't want to start out with the rest of
the crowd as he was new begin.
ner and he thought he was entitled to a
grand opening; but the crowd didn't get
by as fast as he thought it would so he
took hitch in his pants and began to
spar for an opening. Presently he saw a
little space in the crowd that he thought
he would fit into all right, SO after max
ing few faints he made strong lead
with his right foot and followed up close
with his loft fhan hnfh feet clorad and