Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1898-10-26

AANNtS 80 Il Il III liz 1dNS 01u Sd1u
Vera weel pitched, indeed, ma lass.
Bit hoo are We goin' to get over yersel',
eh?'
Poor Maud! She was cruelty deceived
when she married old GotroX."
Didn't he ave any money!"
Plenty of it; but she has learned that
be IS ten years younger than he said he
was.'-Truth.
The class in French history at the Uni
versity Of Chicago the other day was
discussing the character and fate of
Marie Antoinette. Every member of the
class was showing a deep interest in the
subject except 4 handsome young fellow
IN a gray suit, sitting on one of the back
seats.
On his face the professor noticed a
sweet and far-aWay look that showed his
thoughts were with a fair woman of
rather more recent date than the one I'M
der discussion. After a number of the
students had given their opinions con-
corning the unfortunate Queen. seeing
his opportunity to catch a student nap
ping, the professor suddenly wheeled his
chair and looked straight at the dreamer.
And now, Mr.. Harris, will you please
tell US what you think about her?"
The young man suddenly awakened
from his dream with a start.
Her? Why" he instantly replied,
with a certain unexpected enthusiasm,
shes the dearest, sweetest little girl in
the university"
Why do you say he's a good match for
the grass widoW?"
Because he's a rake."-Philadelphia
Bulletin.
An old Irish laborer walked into the
luxurious studio of William Keith, the ar
fist, a few days ago, and asked for money
to obtain a meal, says the San Francisco
Argonaut. He explained that he had just
been discharged from the county hospital
and was too weak to work. Mr.. Keith
gave him a quarter, and he departed. One
Of four young ladies, art students, who
were present. said: Mr.. Keith, can't we
hire that old man and sketch him?' Keith
ran out and caught him, and said: IF
you can't work and want to make a dol
lar, come back to my rooms. The young
ladies want to paint YOU" The Irishman
hesitated, so Keith remarked: TT won't
take long, and it's an easy way to make
a dollar" "Oi know that" was the re-
ply; but Oi was a wonderin' how tn
divil Old git tn paint off a~ftherward."
Gas soon as I started my speech the
crowd melted away"
You must have made them hot, my
boy.'-Indianapolis News.
DR.. B. A. Gould, the American astrono-
mer, while a student at Berlin, was beard
less, but had a good head of hair. When
he returned some years later he had be-
come bald, but had made up for it by hav-
ing a full, long beard. He entered the
study OF A~rgelanders, the famous observa-
tional astronomer under whom he nae
studied, without being announced. At
first the professor did not recognize him.
D you not know me, Herr Professor"
The astronomer looked more closely.
Zach! 1t is Gould NIT his hair struck
through"
"The number of people who speak Eng
lish,' said the Amateur Statistician. SIS
now 116. 600, 0OO." ut is a wonder
said the Cheap Cynic, 'some of them do
not get on the stage.'-Cincinnati En-
quirer.
An amusing incident occurred a few
days since at the Lenox home of a Bos-
ton family, says Harper's Round Table.
They had urged some friends who were
driving through the Berkshires to stop
with them to lunch. This they were
finally persuaded to do, a little girl of 3
years being of the party. Soon after thew
were all seated at the table, Mr.. Ultra
dude, a guest in the house Ga man of curl
ing locks parted in the middle), appeared,
and took his accustomed seat, which
| CHANGED to be just opposite the high chair
occupied by Ethel. The child, after a
glance or two at the newcomer, began to
show symptoms of weeping, and a moment
or two afterward burst into such a flood
of tears that she had to be taken from
the room. Ethel has so bright and sunny
a disposition, and SO little of the cry-bahy
about her, that her mother felt justified in
Fastening after the nurse and child to
know the cause of so unexpected an out
break. When the little one could COM
mand her voice, she managed to confde to
her mother between sobs, "I's SO 'fraid of
that boy with a girls head!'
If wind-bags are all we need to enable
US to float sunken ships, let's raise Noah's
ark. We can do it.-EX.
A new style of cheer seems to have
been developed in the West, differing
both from the old-fashioned hurrah and