The Valentine Democrat. [volume] (Valentine, Cherry Co., Neb.) 1896-1898, 1898-08-11
D0OIey in Doubt.


81 Know what I'd do if / was Mack"
said Mr.. Hennessy. I'D hist Il flag over
tn Philippians an I'd take in tn whole
lot iv Thin"
An yet" said Mr.. Dooley, It's not
more thin two months since We larned
whether they were islands or canned
goods. Ye'er back yard is so small that
ye'er cow can't turn r-round without bur
tin tn w0odshed off tn premises. an re
wudden't' go out to- tn stock yards with
out takin' ont a policy on ye'er life. Sup
pose We wasSstandin' at tn corner iv State
sthreet an Archey r-road. wud we know
what car to'thke to- get to tn Ph'lippeens?
If ye'er SON Paeky was to ask We where
tn Ph'lippeens is cud ye give him amy
good idea whether they was in Roo.hia or
jus visit with thracks:"
"Mcbbe I'crdden't-v said Mr. Hennessy,
haughtily, but FIN fr takin' thin in
anyhow"
80 mightfI;Be:7 said 3Tr. Dooley, eff L
cud on'y getEme mind on it. Wan iv the
worst things about this here war is tn
way it's maxim puzzles fr our poor. tired
heads. Whin;I whit into it / though all
I'd have to do was to. set up here with a
good tin-cint see-gar in me teeth an toss
utIILy lIliic JULIUS lHJO III EdBcu Guy ~ LII
vana. But look at me lmw. TIL war is
still goin' on an livery night I'm askin'
mesif will anneu2 Cuba or lave it to tn
Cubians? VIII Il take. Porter Ricky or
put it by? AM what sh1gd 7 do with tn
~Phlippeens? Oh. what shad | do with
thin? | can't annex thin Because / don't
Know where they ARE. I can't let 30 IL
thin because some wan elseU take thin il
| DO. They are eight thousan' " thin
islands with Il pOpy stion " wan hun
dhred millyOn naked sayages, an me bed
rooms crowded now with me an tn bed.
How can L take thin in an how on earth
am | gOin' to coyerrth' n2taedness iv thin
sayages with me wan scot iT clothes? An
yit 'twoud break me heart to think iv
givin' people | niver see or hePrd tell iy
back to other people L don't know.
1T amt that I'm afraid iv not dom tn
Fright thing in tn end. HinnisSy. Some
moiuin' I'll wake mp an knew JUS what
TO do, an that III do. BUT It's tn IN.
nOyance iv tn manetime. Eve been re-
readin' about tn country 'Tis over be-
yant ye'er left shoulder whin ye'er facin'
east. Jus throw ye'er THUMB back an
We have it as ac'rate as amy man in town.
Ills farther thin Boohlearya an not 50
far as Blewchoochoo. It's near Chiny an
it's not so near, an if n man was to bore
a well through firm GosliGIn- Indianny. lie
might sthrike it, an thin again he migh7
not. It's Il poverty-sthTicken country,
full iv gOold an precious stones, where
tn people can pick dinner off tn threes
an ARE starvin' because they have no
step-ladders. TIL inhabitants is mostly
naggurs an C~hinnyInen, peaceful, indus
thrus IN law-abidin', but savage an
blo%odthirsty in theirlmetiDGls. They wear
no clothes except what they have on. an
each woman has five husbands an Zach
hurried an incomplete in their Gi1ress. 1
see Il pitcher iv wan tn other Gay with
nawth1n' on her but a basket iy cOcOanuts
an a hoop-skirt. Thay're no prudes. We
import juke, hemp, cigar wrappers. sugar
an fairy tales firm tin Philippians. an
export siX-inch shells am tn like.
Il Earned all this firm tn pa-apers. an
1 ! know It's sthraight- An yet. Hinnissy.
L dinnow what to do. abcat tn P~h'IipDeens.
An I'm all alone in tn wurruld. Iv'ry--
body else has nade up his mind.
Hang on toJthimr" said Mr.. Hennessy,
stoutly. What we've got we must hold
Well said: Nr. Dooley, IF L was
Mack I'd Fave it TO George. I'd say.
George I'd say, If ye'er fr hangin' on.
hang on tits. If ye say Fave go, l dhres.
Thin Twas George won thin with th''
shells, an TIL questions up to him."-0hi,.
cago Journal.