Gulf Coast breeze. [volume] (Crawfordville, Fla.) 1897-19??, 1898-06-10
HUMOROUS.

She-It's funny how Mrs. McPhatt
has made her way in society. He
Well, if l had her weight I'd keep out
OF society.
Jones-I married my wife a month
after she accepted me. Brown--And
1 married mine three days after she
refused me.
She-I just enjoy seeing you smoke
a cigar. He-Really? She Eyes, it is
such n change to have you puff some
thing else besides yourself.
Friend--I suppose you've had some
hard experiences? Returned Klon-
diker-Oh, yesl I've seen times when
we hadn't thing but money.
Miss Upton--I've just heard Miss
Kails play at the musicale. She can
positively make piano talk. De-
Witte-Can she make it moaopolize
the conversation?
"Pa," asked the little boy who had
been tackling statistics in the daily
paper, chow does it come that most of
the whiskey and beer is drank by peo-
pie i'll the temperate zone?'
THAT'S picture of all honest man,
il I am any Judge of character"
eyes; that's what thought; but it
happens to he composite photo
graph of the men who borrowed flyers
of me.
Jnk--My dear MacFuddle, it's the
very thing you want Charming house
lovely spotl Cheap, too. But one
great drawback. You can't get any
water there! McFuddle-Oh, that
doesn't matter!
"What was that guy kicking about?"
asked the doorkeeper. 81 couldn't
quite catch it where | was" ''Said
he found q new joke on the program.
Wanted his money back before the
house fell down."
"Hello, Spifiins. 7 thought you had
gone to the Klondike," said Snaggs.
''Ive changed my mind" ''Did your
wife object to your going?" Not at
all. / thought she seemed too willing,
and so decided to remain at home"
Applicant Ito matrimonial AGENT
Can't you show me the photograph of
that lady with 500, 600 who wants to
get married? Agent-Oh, now, with
such a dowry as that, you can imagine
how she looks, without II photograph.
Miller-.-Which is right, "stop and
think" or "stop to Think" Smith
stop to think" to be sure. You
might easily stop to think while you
were talking, but as to stopping and
actually thinking, that is another mat
ter.
The Young Kentuckian - Father,
little Jack Horneris the most ignorant
boy in our class. Colonel Oldbrand--
Is he? The Young Kentuckian-Yes,
indeed; the teacher asked today how
many gallons in barrel, and he didn't
know.
"What a beautiful specimen of in
laying!" exclaimed the guest. Eyes"
replied Mr.. Cumrox, as he put his
hands behind and tiptoed complacent-
ly; "but that isn't anything. You
ought to have seen the outlay it rep
resents."
The Cautious One-I wouldn't 90
TO the Klondike. Already more
money has gone in there than has
been taken out. The Sanguine One
You don't say! Ii the place is get
ting richer like that, / think I'll 60
as soon as / can
Broncho Pete-So Tarantula Tom
Is dead, an only 40 years old! That's
what yer might call bein' cut down in
the prime Nv life. Grizzly Grady
Ya-as, yer might call it that; but the
facts nv the case wuz, he wuzn't cut
down till he'd been dead for over
week.
He-They say wedding rings are
going out of fashion. She-Oh. /
don't care! If you wish to dis
pense with the ring, dear,it will make
40 difference. But why didn't YOU
give me warning? This is so sudden.
And he thought of home and mother,
but it was too late.