Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1898-06-22

great houses in Scotland to use dessert
spoons. A rough country squire, dining
there for the first time, had been served
between the second course with sweet
1t the servant handed him a dessert
spoon. The laird turned it round and
round in his great fist, and said to the
servant: What did you gle me this for,
ye id fule? Do We think ma mooth
has got any smaller since lappit up my
soup?'-San Francisco Argonaut,
-.0:-
THAT was a thrilling sight at that
lodging house fire. said the shoe clerk
boarder. Il got there just in time to see
three men jumping out of the windows"
Nothing remarkable in that" said the
Cheerful Idiot. The air is always filled
with flying rumors in war times."-In-
dlanapoliS Journal.
Bob Ito Tommie, who has just been
spanked -"Tommier'
Thomas-"Yes?
Bob-'Don't you wish you were an
ironclad ?'-Harper's Bazaar.
-:O:
A clergyman preached a rather long ser
mon from the text, Thou art weighed in
the balance and found wanting" After
the congregation had listened about an
hour, some began to get weary and went
out; others soon followed, greatly to the
annoyance of the minister. Another per-
son started, whereupon the parson stopped
his sermon and said: That is right, gen.
tlemen; as fast as you are weighed pass
out. Re continued his sermon some
time after that, but no one disturbed him
by leaving.--Argonaut.
Hicks-"Barton is quite struck with
Miss Birdikin. He had just lighted q
cigar last evening when she hove in sight.
He threw it away and went up the street
with her" Wicks-'.And do you know
she appreciated his self-denial in throwing
the cigar away, but she never could think
of marrying man who was so devoid of
economy. Boston Transcript.
''Mout I hab de politniss to inqwhire
wat for you hab dat razor up your sleeve,
Mr. Johnsin?' said the "ge'man" about to
shuttle the cards. "Oh, | just fought
dere mout be some occasion dis evenin',
Mr.. Ferriss, to cut de cards." said the
citizen with the red-striped shirt.-Yon-
kers Statesman.
This is a story told of @ Marquette,
Mich, woman who visited at the 500.
IT Fort Brady, which is located on the
outskirts of the town, it is the custom to
fire sunset gun, currently spoken of by
Tue SOOlltS DIS Iue SunSSt-
She was sitting peacefully at the sup
per table the evening Of her arrival when
the gun belcned out It's sunset '"beomv'
My. What's thatE' she cried.
''Oh, that's the sunset replied her
hostess.
you don't mean it, do your asked the
Marquette woman. II never knew the
sun went down SO hard as that"
Now 1-o,, &,11
the guide not to plunge US over any preci-
pices?
Old Alpine Tourist-'I wish to avoid
giving him the opportunity for expecting
extra fees from us."-Detroit Journal
Little Boy--Mr. Blake, won't you bend
some. for meg, Mr.. Blake-~I can't, my
tionist"' Mr. Blake-~No, child; what
ever gave you that idea2" Little Boy
isis said that every time YOU opened your
mouth you put your foot in it."-Harlem
Life.
Among party in Speaker Reeds room
at the capitol, a few months ago, was
Gen. Joe" Wheeler, whose diminutive
stature and agile movements are hardly
less remarkable than his military record
as a cavalry leader in the Confederate
army. Someone remarked that the vet
eran members of the House were drop
ping out one by one. and another added:
Gen. Wheeler is still with u.s. yes"
drawled Mr.. Reed, ''but the Almighty
has never yet been able to put his finger
on Joe in any one place San Francisco
ArgOnaut.
Mrs. Petter-''Did you see that Dixon
seized the rocking chair and was into it
before his wife had chance to reach it,
And on his wedding trip, too!''
Mr.. Petter-"That's just it, There's
where Dixon is smart. Nobody will sus-
pect that he is on his wedding tour, don't
you see? And besides, he gets the chair.
Boston Transcript.
They tell me Mixes a bondholder.'
as that SOP"
Eyes; he went bail for a man that
skipped. "-Philadelphia Call
What are you doing now?'' asked the
leading lady.
What am I doing?' echoed the SOU
brette. Il wish you to know that the
son of a millionaire is a who and not a
what Town Topics.
A well-known fashion paper, in its an
swers to correspondents, says: "a mar
ried woman, when asked her name.
should reply, Mrs. John Robinson" This
is all very nice, and in specific cases no
doubt eminently proper. But suppose
for an instant that the lady is Mrs