The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1898-10-05
Mr.. DOOLEY ON
THE SPANISH WAKE.
Fro-a the Chicago journal


''Whin tn war was goin' began Mr..
Hennessy.
Sure" said Mr. Dooley, g it's not
over yet. IT'S li'ble to outlast both you
an me, Hinnissy. Twas me simple
mind that med me think that whin wan
iv tn parties to a ruction had lost both
legs an an arm twas all over but tn
cOrOner's inquest. I didn't figure on tn
wake because tits not etiket east iv tn
dumps FIR tn man that caused tn wake
FIR to jine in tn festivities. Be tn looks
iv this case twill be a long time be-
tween tn death iv tn deceased an the
funeral We're in f'r much socyaI ifs
tivities that may r-round up in US goin'
to tn hure with tn rilitives iv tn late
departed, whin you an me, Hinnissy,
thought we had no more worruk to do
but to walk off with his joolry.
"Mack's tn la-ad that knows TIL
etiket iv these occasions. IT'S not his
way to Trace hor-rses to tn cimitry
He does things in style. TIL wake is
held in Pahr's, where life is wan con-
tinyal r-round iv pleasure. Tn guests
IF m this side goes over with their fam
lies an tn rayporther scram bIes- up tn
side iv tn ship befure they lave, an,
says he: Mrs. ex-Sicrety iv AgricuI-
says, do We intind to do amy shoppin'
in Pahr's, an do ye thing we ought to
take tn Philippines or cook thin into
a ShlrtWaist?' he says. Mrs. ex-Sicrety
~ Agriculture Zel1e K. Jessop smiles vi
Vaciously an says she: I don't know
what to think, she says. I'm pr-roud,'
she says, to be an Amurrican lady
she says, as I often tell me husband
she says, an if we don't get tn Philip
pines, she says, III get bonnet that'H
u n p hot IL . H.
mayor iv Guthrie look like Chinese
money she says.
An thin they're off-an' in Pahr's
they're met be tn president iv France
an tn sicrety iV state an Cap Drey-
fuss an all tn la-ads an carrid off to
breakfast-an' that's tn same as din
ner with you an me, Hinnissy-an' they
meet tn rilitives " tn deceased. They'se
lashins an lashins to drink. IT'S tx
ptnsiVe, but they don't wake Spain in
pOrther or ale, Hinnissy. They wake
him in a dhrink that there hasn't been
a bottle iV in this Wa-ard since tn
Indians was here.
AN after breakfast they set ar-round
an smoke their good tin-cint see-garS
an thin it's off to tn Mullin Rouge,
which is a kind iV a theaytre or tn
to be a basement saloon where tn poly
ticians ar-re to be found. At night
they'se a banI1it give be tn president
iV France an things to dhrink, an w.
rybody has a good time an tn rilitives
iv tn remains puts up a good keen
about himsilf bein' a dacent man, but
very poor. an 'twoOd be a shame FIR
to take his clothes an thin all go over
to tn Roo Royal, that's like Clark
sthreet, an have tn time iv their lives.
How long will it last? IT'S question
iv tn food supply. Twill go on till
they'se nawthin' left to cook an thin
Frinch ARE that handy they cud make
a New England billed dinner out iv a
cup iv wather an a lOthry ticket. But
I wish twas over. Not because it's tx
pinsive. I've quit cOmplainin' since I
heered Mack was gOin' to make a wake,
not an inquest, out iv it. An not be-
cause I want to know whether we have
tn Philippines or not. I'm that tired
iv tn Philippines I'd sell me intrest in
thin FIR a pair iv rubber boots, an 1
niver go out whin it rains on account
iv me rheumatism. But I'd give tn
price iv tn quarther's license to be able
to close up me place an go down to tn
deepo an see what Mrs. Zeke K. JessOp
iv Oklahoma done in tn way iv a hat.
I'll bet We that no mather how we come
out iv tn wake, that good woman'u
capture a lid thatn make tn farmers
between here an tn Platte river think
a burnin' lie thrain is gOin' through tn
cOuuthry.'