davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1898-08-04
TOO MUCH FOR THE COLONEL.
The CorporaFs Excuse Was Considered
Sufficient Under the Circumstances.

The Corporars Excuse Was Considered
Sumcicnt Under the Circumstances.
A corporal in one of the regiments
down at Chickamauga park had be-
come entangled with a difficulty, and
as a result of it, added to an accumula-
ton of similar such, he was called to
appear before the colonel of the regi-
ment.
Corporal Jenkins" said that officer,
severely, you are fine soldier and
sensible man, and you ought to con-
duct yourself differently"
II was drunk, SIR" exclaimed the
corporal, very contritely.
"That is no excuse. Don't you know
it is wrong to get drunk?"
Yes, SIR" admitted the corporal,
without cavil.
Then why do you do it?"
II can't help it, sir"
You cannot excuse your fault that
way, sir" said the colonel, sternly.
You know you can if you want to-"
But can't, sir"
"Yes you can," insisted the colonel.
"a man can help doing anything if he
puts his mind to it."
The corporal stood up straight and
saluted.
Begin your pardon, sir" he said,
"but do you think when l heard that
Uncle Sam had got into scrap with
them dirty, cigaroot-smokin' Span
yards and was askin' his boys to take
"a hand with him to lick 'em off the
face of the earth that I could help
dropping everything right then and
there and grabbin' up a gun and takin'
hold with the old man and the other
boys? Say, colonel, do you think a
man about my size could help dom
just what 1 done and bein' right here
ready when he says the word?'
The colonel was stumped for an in
slant. Then he got up and took the
corporafs hand.
Get out of this" he said, hurriedly;
get out, and if you ever get drunk
again I'll have you put in the guard
house and nailed up until the war is
over" Star.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1898-08-04
A TRAVELLERS TESTIMONY.
What He Carried on the Cars.
To Take when Travelling.

Francis B. Hariowe, of Atlanta, Ca, fur
nishes a case in point He writes;
For some years past, was subject to
constipation, from which l suffered in
creasing Inconvenience, in spite of tho
use of medicines of various kinds, until
some months ago, when I began taking
DR.. J. c. Ayers Pills. They have entirely
corrected the costive habit, and vastly
improved my general health" (REv1
FRANCIS B. HARLowE, Atlanta, Ca.
Constipation is, perhaps, the most seri-
Gus physical evil of to-day. 1t is like the
Octopus, that grapples its victim and
fastens its tentacles on trunk and limbs
one after another, until at last, incapable
of longer resistance, the helpless being
succumbs to his frightfu1 foe. Corstipa-
ton is the beginning Of many of the most
murderous maladies, the clogged system
becoming charged with poisons that affect
the liver and kidneys, and PROSTATE
the entire being mentally, morally, and
physically. Dr. Ayers Pills will cure
constipation. If you doubt it send for DR..
Ayers Curebook, free, containing tho
| testing 0ny of those cured by this remedy.
! Address ]. c. Aver Co., Lowell, Mass.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1898-08-04

carrying it in a circle. One of the
boys then grasped the rope as high up
as possible and ran in circle around
the pole as far from it as the rope would
allow until the centrifugal force raised
him from the ground. This start and
the unwinding of the rope caused him
to make four or five revolutions at a
distance of IS or 20 feet from the pole
before his feet touched the ground.
This performance was then repeated by
all the other boys and was declared
the most pleasing feature of the day
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1898-08-04

The plaid stocking is this year such
beauty that the travelling girl wears
it without fail. She chooses, if she can
afford it, the sandal stocking which
has the appearance of a white ribbon
twisted around the foot and ankle like
the Roman sandal of old. 1t continues
from the toe to the top, and is quite
the most remarkable stocking of the
season. Small flowers of delicate de-
sign are scattered over the ground
work of the stocking proper. The
other popular type of stocking is
much less expensive than the sandal
stocking, which is a novelty. 1t is a
double plaid in red, green, blue, yell
low, black and white. There are
stocking parties. Have you never
heard of them, when young women of
expensive hosiery tastes gather of an
afternoon to sew and gossip and ex-
hibit stockings?-Boston Herald.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1898-08-04

Every traveller knows that continuous
journeying on the railroad is very apt to
derange the system in some way. In spite
of springs and soft seats there is a contin-
uous jar and vibration, which acts upon
the nervous system, and produces results
varying somewhat, according to the
strength Of the traveller or his predisposi-
ton to some specific ailment. The most
common consequence of continuous car
riding is constipation. And this condition
invariably produces headache, and tends
to biliousness. ]. J. Converse, St. Louis,
Mo-, found a way to avoid the evil effects
of constipation, to which he was subject
when travelling. He carried with him
1.-the pill that will cure constipation and
all its sequent suferings. This is what
he says:
"Trave1ling on the cars tends to consti-
patton with me, but by using DR., J. c,
Ayers Pills moderately, my bowels are
kept in healthy action. They also prevent
headache."-J. J. CONVERSE, St. Louis, Mo.
Dr. Ayers Pills are good for constipation
under all circumstances and conditions.
They have cured long standing cases after
every other medicine had failed. Rev.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1898-08-04
DOGS WONDERFUL ACT.
the World That Can Play
Tune Correctly.

This dog is Prof Fills most valued
possession. He is the only dog in the
world that can play tune. Probably
half the people who see this remarkable
performance believe that it is trick
and that the piano is fixed to play
without the assistance of Black-that is
the dogs real name.
Prof. Fills laughingly destroyed the
fond illusion of the man who believes
animals reason by explaining that this
Russian poodle really has no idea of
music and doesn't know A from D when
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1898-08-04
USEFUL HAY FRAME.
Same Time One of the best
Patterns Yet Devised.

The illustration herewith portrays
IN easily-made hay frame, and at the
same time one of the best. 1t is IA
feet long by 61s or 7 feet wide. The
two main timbers are pine, 2 by 8
inches, the four crosspieces 2 by 4
pine. The bows over hind wheels can
be made from old tires of the back
wheels of a wagon. Forward tires
answer, but are little short. The
boards over the front wheels extend
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1898-08-04
A Bald-Headed Reply.

A naval officer very we'll and favorably
known in London has for some unknown rea-
son been advanced in his profession very
slowly, though he has grown gray in the
service, and, indeed, lamentably bald. Re
Gently one of his juniors was bold enough
to question him as to his remarkable alb
sence of hair.
"How comes it that you are so very bald?"
The officer replied promptly and with
much vindictiveness:
"Young. man, you would be bald, think,
if you had had men stepping over your head
for years in the way | have."-London Judy.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1898-08-04
Reduction in Bicycle Prices.

templating the organization of a great bi.
cycle company, which hopes to make first.
class wheels and sell them as low as $40
Whether this be true or not, the fact re-
mains that Hostetter's Stomach Bitters is a
frstclass remedy for the stomach, liver and
blood, and the price puts it within every.
body's reach to be well and strong For
fever and ague it is specific.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1898-08-04
FUN FOR THE BOYS.
At Recent School Picnic These
Youngsters Discovered Novel
Merry-GO-ROund.

At recent class picnic at Tomah,
Wis, some of the boys discovered a
fine merry-go-round in tall pole stand
ing near the picnic grounds.
A rope was attached to the top and
the boys wound it about the pole by
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1898-08-04
Cost of Hauling Freight.

The length of the public Highways of
this country is said to be 1900, 900
miles. The amount of freight hauled
over them in one year is estimated at
5O0,000,000 tons, and the cost of cart
ing it $1,000, 100000, but with really
good roads this item could be reduced
over one-half.-Good Roads.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1898-08-04
Not in Rage.

He ground his teeth
Yet there was nothing to indicate that he
was angry.
Still he continued to grind his teeth with
great persistency.
The grinding was done with one of those
patent buzz saws that dentists use, and every
now and then it seemed as if the patient
would swear if it were not for the rubber
dam in his mouth. And at that there was
something in his gurgles that seemed to in
dictate that the dam was not all rubber
Chicago Post
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1898-08-04

Doctor-You are all run down. You must
travel for a few months; that's the only
thing that will save you. You need change
of scene and air.
Patient-But traveling's all I've done for
the last ten years. I'm salesman for big
eastern house and often go from the Atlantic
to the Pacific at jump
Then what you need is rest and quiet
Three dollars, please. Chicago Evening
News.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1898-08-04
Wheat 40 Cents IA BusheI.

How to grow wheat with big profit at 40
cents and samples of Salzer's Red Cross $50
Bushels per acre. Winter Wheat, Rye, Oats,
Clovers, etc, with Farm Seed Catalogue for
cents postage. JOHN A. SALZER SEED
CO., La Crosse, Wis. X
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1898-08-04

The lake and rail arrangements of the Bal
timore & Ohio Railroad for this year are prac-
Freight for Lake Superior ports is sent BY
way of the Northern Steamship Company
and the Owen line is used for the Lake
Michigan ports. The trans-lake Erie ar.
rangements are with the Detroit Steam Nav.
igation Company between Cleveland and
Detroit and the Ashley & Dustin Line and
between Sandusky and Detroit
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1898-08-04

Fits stopped free and permanently cured.
No fits after first days use of DIR. Kline g
Great Nerve Restorer. Free 50 trial bottle &
treatise. DR.. Kline. 933 Arch St. Phila. Pa.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1898-08-04

The nfeanest man we ever heard of is
Washington man who refused to pay the
doctor who helped him collect his accident
INSURANCE. Washington Hal DEMOCRAT.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1898-08-04

Piso's Cure is the medicine to break up
children's Coughs and Colds-Mrs NJ. G..
Blunt, Sprague, Wash, March 8, "a
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1898-08-04

Trivvet-"Why is Skidmore for ever read
ing that manual of etiquette" Dicer-"He
/ says he wants to become familiar with polite
literature. Harlem Life
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1898-08-04

The .Cornfed Philosopher-"It is all
wrong" said the Cornfed Philosopher, "tc
say that woman can make fool of man
She merely develops him. Indianapolis
Journal.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1898-08-04

It's useless to write to a corpse, but it's
all right to wire skeleton.-L. A. w. Bull
letin.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1898-08-04
To Cure a Cold in one Day

The outcome of baseball games and buck
wheat cakes usually depends upon the bat
ter.5Chicaqo Daily News
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1898-08-04

A woman's idea of a personal devil is a
neighboring woman who talks about her.
Chicago Daily News.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1898-08-04

People are beginning to admit that many
men are looking for work who do not want
it.-Atchison Globe.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1898-08-04

Actors in general are well posted" II
you don't believe it ask the bil.sticker.-L
A. w. Bulletin
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1898-08-04

A man isn't mighty because he never fallA
but because, of his ability to rise when he
tumbles.-Chicago Daily News.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1898-08-04

Desperate ase.-Perspiring Manager 70,
excursion)-"We're little behind Cine.
know, but We'll make it up on the last half
it up! What's the use of talking that way?
Wen meet ourselves coming back long be.
fore we get there!"-Chicago Tribune.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1898-08-04

"Bike" Chloride of sunshine is a gooC
spring medicine.-L. A. w Bulletin.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1898-08-04

She had just returned from trip abroad,
and was showing her friend the different
curios she had brought back with her
Now, here is a little thing got to remem
Der one place by" she said; lit is very
pretty, isn't it", Charming" replied her
friend, admiringly. "What place was it ?"
"Oh, I've forgotten now, we went to so
many places, you know"-Town Topics.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1898-08-04

An0ther Long-FeIt WANT Nine. Snip.
per has perfected a wonderful invention =
what is it?" "A revolving hat; it works
50 the congregation can see all sides of it,
Chicago Record.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1898-08-04

Halls Catarrh Cure
Is 2 Constitutional Cure. Price 75c.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1898-08-04
He Shifted the Blame.

Theodore F. Seward, the organizer of
the Don't Worry" clubs, tells a good
story of a little boy who had reached
the multiplication table in the course
of his education. One night he was sit
ting anxiously over a paper of figures
when his mother came along and said:
Johnnie, do you find your arithmetic
very hard?" Eyes, indeed, mamma, l
do" was the reply. 1T was so awful
hard that 1 prayed to God to help me,
but He's made three mistakes already"
The common English frog possesses
30 teeth.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1898-08-04

Two commercial travellers, comparing
notes: Il have been out three weeks, )" said
the first, "and have only got four orders -
That beats me-" said the other; 81 have
been out four weeks and have only got ont
order, and that's from the firm to come
home Tit Bits.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1898-08-04

fake Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets. All
druggists refund money if it fails to cure. 25c
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1898-08-04
Freedom Assured Them.

Clancy-Casey?
Casey-Yis.
Don't ye2 wish thot Oireand belonged
to Shpain?"-Puck.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1898-12-13
CHIEF OF POLICE SALE.

Notice Is hereby given that by virtue
OF a warrant for the collection OF a de-
lnIuent assessment for the improv' melt
in the city Of Astoria, Oregon. towit:
Bond street. from forty-second 10 Forty
ffth street, Gully issued BY the auditor
and police Judge OF said city, BY direc-
tion OF the common council OF said city,
said warrant being dated the i7tn day OF
Oct5ber. is9S. 10 mo directed. and the
assessv'e-,. on which ssnecifie- amounting
OF per cent per ann1ni from the 3lst day
OF March. 1896 and being against the
following named persons. towIt:
r. Marion and II. Mccormack.
owner Of the following described real
property. towit: lot %. block 5. as sub
divided In the Port OF Upper Astoria,
as laid out and recorded BY John Adair
and which warrant commands me 70
make levy upo- and sale OF sald de-
scribed property, In order 10 satisfy SAID
warrant and said assessment and to-
gether with the interest thereon an the
costs and expenses Of said sale. and
pursuant sto' said warrant and the com
mands -theEfil. contained. did. on the
18th day OF November 1888. duly levy
upon the above described real property,
and I Will, on the 18th day Of December.
tsS. CT he hour. Of IL o'clock IN the
forenoon OF said day. at the court house
door. towit: the entrance Of said court
house on Eighth street, in the City OF
Astoria. County OF Clatsop. State OF
Oregon, sell said described real properly
az public auction 10 the highest bidder
for cash. In U. s. gold coin TO satisfy
said assessment the Interest thereon. and
the costs and expenses OF sale as
aforesaid. and the accruing costs.
DATED at Astoria, oregon, the nth day
OF November. 1895.
2. HALLOCK.
Chief OF Police Of Astoria. Oregon.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1898-12-13
CHIEF OF POLICE SALE.

Notice r. hereby given that by. virtue
Of = warrant for tho collection OF a de-
llnquent assesgnlnt for the lnprJ 'ement
IN the city Of Astoria. oregon, towit:
Dead street from FortyIseeoadb s a. 70 .Si FSSrty
and police Judge OF said city, BY .direc-
ton or the common council Of said city,
SAID warrant being dated the l7th day. OF
October ISts. TO me directed. and the
% = q Win n ni.ns. s9e sRsSss At he rs
OF per cent per annum from the 5ist day
OF March, 1906. and being against the
following named persons. tOwit:
II. Marion and II. Mccormack.
owner OF the following described real
property. towit: lot "A. block 5. az sub
divided In ihe, Port of Upper Astoria.
and also against said described property.
and which warrant co~nands me to
make levy upon and sale OF said de-
scribed property. orcer 20 satisfy SAID
warrant and said assessment and to-
costs Ssus' and nd expenses s Of said sale. and
pursuant 70 said warrant and the com
fnands therein contained. dn on the
Eth day Of November. 1898. duly levy
and I win. on the 18th day OF December.
1909. al the hour OF II O'Clock In the
forenoon OF said day. al the court house
door. towit: the entrance Of said court
house on Eighth street, In the City Of
oregon. sell said described real property
nj public auction 20 the highest bidder
for cash In u. $. gold coin, TO satisfy
said assessment the Interest thereon, and
the costs and expenses OF sale as
Dated az Astoria. oregon. the nth day
'' N''s y. HALLocK.
Chief Of Police Of Astoria, oregon.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1898-12-13
CHIEF OF Police SALE.


Notice Is hereby given that by virtue
Of a warrant for the collection OF a de-
linqucnt Besyngnt .Or this Improvement
IN tho city Of Aatofia. oregon. towit:
Bond street, from Forty-second TO Forty
and police Judge Of said city, by direc-
tiOn Of the common council Of said city,
said warrant being dated the n.h day OF
October, 1888, TO me d'rected, and the
ssessmsni e q s,s on a which which specified AMOUNTING
Of per cent per annum from the s1st day
Of March, 1906 and being against the
following named persons. toWtt:
r. Marion and II. Mccormack.
owner OF the following described real
property. towit, lot %. block 8. as sub
DIVIDED in the. Port OF upper, Astoria,
and also against said described property,
and which warrant commands me 10
make levy upon and sale OF said de-
Bcrlbed properly, In order 10 satisfy said
vibrant and said assessment and to-
gftner with the interest thereon and the
costs and expenses OF said sale. and
pursuant 70 said warrant and the COM
mands therein contained. ! DID. on the
18th day Of NoyomDer 1855. duly levy
and I will, on the 18th day OF December.
1875. at the hour Of II O'Clock IN the
forenoon OF said day. at the court house
door, tOwit: the entrance Oh said court
house on Eighth street, In the City Of
Oregon, sell said described real property
az public auction TO the highest bidder
for cash. In u. 8. gold coin, TO satisfy
said assessment, the interest thereon. and
the costs and expenses Of sale as
Dated at Astoria. oregon. the 17th day
Z. HAIDocK,
chief Of Police OF Astoria. Oregon.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1898-12-13

Notice Is hereby given that BY virtue
| OK "a warrant Tor the collection Of n do
knauent negessplqnt for tho lInpr0vsTntn nj
y the ciiy of Astoria, oregon, Iewlti
Xxx stseet % auly issaGd By 10 = arudisor
and police Judge of said 6ity, BY dircc-
ION NJ tho common couDcil 0f sad city.
snld ,warrani being dated the l7th day. .of
October ifes. Y mo directed and the
% $40 with Interest thereon at the rate
cf per cent per annum from tho 2ist day
On March. 1896. md being against the
following named persons tOwlt:
r. Marion and n. Mccormack,
owner OF tiis f0llowin described real
prOperly, tCrit; lot %, block :, ~ sub
aiyl,dieeg in tie Port oi gppss5 Ast9ria 9r,
and also against fnid described property,
and which warrant commands me 10
make levy upon ana sale Oi rnid de-
scfiDed property, In Order 10 Hatiafy SAID
geihsr wiz II the intereat thereon and and ne
tostg and exDenses Of said sale. and
pursuant 20 said warrent an9 the com
manda therein contained. ] I'D. on the
nth day of November. 1929. duly levy
and I wlll. on tho 18Th day Of December,
1903, at the hour Of II o'clock IN the
forenoon Of said day, AZ the court house
door. tOwiti the entrance Of said court
house, on Ilgnth street IN the, CITY Of
oregon, sell said described real property
al public auction 20 the highest bidder
for cash, IN y. 4. gold coin; 70 satisfy
said assessment, tho Interest thereon, and
tho costs and expenses OF sale as
Dated 81 Astoria. oregon. the Jath day
" n. HALLoCK,
Chief Of Police Of Astoria. oregon.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1898-12-13
CHIEF OF POLICE SALE,

Notice Is hereby given that. by virtue
OF warrant for the collection of a de-
linquent assessment for the improve
ment In the city of Astoria, Oregon, to-
wit; Alleyway running through blocks
2, 3, 1 and 8. from the west line Of Thirty
second street. duly issued by the Audi
tor and Police Judge of said city, by direc-
tion Of the common council OF said city.
said warrant being dated the Sd day OF
November, 1895, TO me directed, and the
assessment In which specified amounting
to S7aI with interest thereon at the
rate OF S per cent per annum from the 9th
day OF September, 1896, and being against
the following named person. towit.: Ru-
dolph Barth, owner of the following de-
9. In the Port of Upper Astoria as laid
out and recorded by John Adair, and also
against said above described property
and which warrant commands me to
make levy upon and sale of said described
real property, In order to satisfy said
warrant and said assessment and together
with the interest thereon and the costs
and expenses of said sale, and pursuant
to said warrant and the commands there
in contained, did, on the Sd day OF
described real property and | viii, on
the I'd day of January, 1899, at the hour
OF II o'clock in the forenoon OF said day,
at the court house door, towlt the en-
street, In the city of Astoria, county of
Clatsop, state OF Oregon. sell said de-
scribed real property at public auction to
the highest bidder, for cash, In United
States gold coin, to satisfy said assess
ment the interest thereon, and the costs
and expenses OF said sale as aforesaid,
and tho accrulng costs,
Dated at Astoria, Oregon, the Sd day Of
December 1898.
p. HALLoCK,
Chief Of Police OF Astoria, Oregon.