Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1898-10-02

not the man to rest under the asper-
sions cast upon his character in civil
life | gave them rein for a few weeks
and then sat cut to make some personal
calls. The editor who combined NE
with an army mewl and a kick on the
leg was the first one visited. When
had introduced myself / inquired on
which leg | had received the kick men
tinnad Then LolaVated the hnttnmS Of
my trousers and asked him if the scar
he saw on my right leg was caused by
a Federal bullet or the hoOf of Con-
federate mewl. l had produced pis
tolls, sah-pistols for tWO-when he
picked UP his pencil to write retrac-
ton, and the materials were so Ifuit-
full that he did not finish under col
umn. 1t was a bewtiful tribute, sah
and it was dOuble-leaded and published
in MS next issue, and that editor has
never gone wrong since. What was the
name Of that last decoction, If you
please?"
"A mint julep, Kurnel."
ctly-eXactly. Very good for the
vocal cords, believe. Well, sab, GER
tain editor had been asking in his pa
per every week: Who is Kurnel Bun
kerr? The query was repeated about
foty times in each issue, and of co'se
the object was to belittle me. l decided
to call in person and reveal my iGen-
tity. l found him at home sah-at
home and surrounded by the para
pharnalia usually to be found in a
sanctum-and l s9luted him in my
enthusiastically sauve manner and
observed:
i,in of no
identity of Kurnel Bunker, sah-per-
sistently and laboriously making in
quiries. He now stands befo' you and
you are at liberty TO ask any questions
you see fit
But he had none to ask" said the
KuInel, as he smiled grimly. The
man was embarrassed and confOunded
and could only look at me with open
mouth. 1t was only when | had asked
him to name a friend and an early date
that he shook off his lethargy and
>begged the privilege of shaking hands
with the hero of South Mountain. My
biography. which he published in his
next issue, occupied four columns. and
was one of the most valuable docu-
ments of my campaign. Not a bad
man. that editor, but he hadn't sized
Kurnel Bunker up right, you see. Too
much freedom of the press, and too lit
tie of Kurnel Bunker. Might have
gone with some men, but wouldn't pass
with me- Have you observed. zah-?"
l had. I signalled to the colored boy
and he brought on two more, and when
the straws had done their duty as be-
fore, the Kurnel briskly remarked:
81 had other calls to make. The edi-
tor of certain weekly paper had seen
fiet to ridicule my affair Of honah with
Majah Tripper. and had boldly declared
that we were only armed with cucum-
bers. Some men might have passed it
over. sab, but not SO Kurnel Bunker.
When he published an item headed:
'Kurnel Bunker VS. The Cucumber
The Cucumber VS.. Kurnel Bunker he
might have safely reckoned on an early
call from the man who had two horses
shot under him at Louisiana Court
House. I found the gentleman in his
sanctum and opened the case by invit-
ing him to step down stairs across the
street into the State House grounds
He followed me. sab. and at a proper
moment I turned on him and produced
a cucumber and asked:
"'Sah, will you do Kurnel Bunker
the favor to name this esculent?"
"He replied that it was a cucumber"
"'And please name this?' l said, as
I produced a pistol.
sHe did so, and drawing a second one
I handed him the first and requested
him to wait while I stepped of the
usual ten PAGES. I had come to show
him the difference between cucumbers
and duelling pistols but 1 was not put
to any great trouble. He came down
handsomely. sah-came down befo' I
had marked six PAGES and the spirit
with which he entered into the cam
naign made me 200 votes not counted