The Van Buren press., 1898-01-15
PRovERBl4L PHILOSOPHY
As ExempliEed In the Genial Customs
of West Virginia Hotel.


of West Virginia Hotel
IA burnt child breads the fire. "a
soused child breads water;' once
burned, twice shy These are three pre-
verbal ways of saying that one finger
is enough to lose in learning that buzz
saw may be moving, though it seems to
be standing still. There are more ways
than there are proverbs of exemplifying
the inherent truth of these proverbs;
and each way is interesting, if not i'm
mediately, yet in the long run-and the
run is not necessarily so long
"Dowh at H, W. Va" said the
man who knew about proverbs, there
is hotel. This is not strange to you;
but probably you haven't been in H.
/ have been there. By way of digres-
sion, let me remark that in all these
small country towns of Virginia, and
it's copartner states, it is astonishing
how easy it is to arrive aud how hard
it is to depart. At whatever hour you
may have arrived, you are certain to
take the train after midnight and be-
fore six o'clock. This arrangement eff
feetually spoils the night for sleeping
purposes or for amusement But then,
there is no amusement.
ITO resume, l reached II at some
seasonable hour and put up at the hotel,
did what hsd to do, and as | had been
up most of the preceding night turned
in about nine o'clock. leaving word at
the office to be called at one o'clock, as
the train left shortly before two o'clock
IN time ] was called, so | dressed
quickly. paid my bill seized my bag,
and hurried to the depot about block
away Half along the block I hap
pened to look at the hotel, and saw that
every lamp in it was out, and the house
was as dark as pitch.
"At the station / found policeman,
who seemed pleased to see me.
"'IIow soon is the train due?' asked,
by way of opening short conversation.
"s'Bout hour and half said he,
pleasantly.
'Whatl yelled. Then looked at
my watch. 1t was just $780,
"The policeman watched with judi
cial amusement while | made certain re-
marks about the hotel people. When
ended took my time-he said:
"'Well, now, things strike people diff
freently, don't they? Bout a month
ago there was feller down t the hotel
had two bags, a regular drummer.
lie left word, same's you, to be called
for the train, an then turned in. But
they forgot him-didn't call him tell
after two; train on time that night,
too.
"'We-ell, when they remembered, they
was in a feeze. First of all the clerk
smart chap, that clerk; guess hotel
clerks hez to be smart-the clerk he set
the clocks back; made 'em seem to be
about one o'clock stead of after two.
Then he called the drummer The
drummer he dressed quick, paid his
bill, same's you, grabbed his two grips,
one n each hand, and hurried over here.
/ was here-just as | am tonight, and
carefully, SOS not to excite him too
much too quick, let him know that he
was an hour behind the train, and thet
he'd have to wait another IL hours or
so. Jest as let you know-on'y for a
difference o. time.
'We-ell! What's that drummer do
but pick up his grips-one n each hand,
walk back to the hotel, and goin' up to
the window of the office pitch them two
grips right through the glass smashl
The first one hit the clerk, knocked him
down; second one lit on his head as he
Law there. "Guess I'm even on the
game" said the drummer.
"'Since then-'bout month ago
they've called ev'y one hour ahead o.
the train, and they put the lights out,
soon's a fellow leaves the hotel-mat-
ter o. precaution, you know
"That's why ] started with prov
erb. IN. Y. Sun.