Mesa free press., 1898-04-29

/
much.-Bazar.
Woman Lamyer-How old are you?
Woman Witness-I think must be
about your age.
She-Tve seen twenty-five summers.
He (the brute)-Since when ?-San
Francisco Examiner.
He--My friend is opposed to every
thing English. She-Yes, noticed that
| In his ersation.-Yonkers States
man.
No Deception. young lady
doesn't look like singer. She-Doesn't
sing like one, either.-Detroit Free
Press.
''I suspect there has been some crook
ed work going on here" he said. And
he was right. His wife had been driv-
ing nails.-Puck.
Parker-How do you like your rooms
| In your new fat. Fleshleigh-Oh,
they're good fit. A little tight across
the shoulders, perhaps.-Life.
"And your wife aimed at and struck
your head with cup?" 'Yes, SIR"
'Well, then, all have to say is that
you should be very proud Of her."
II daresay some Of the comforts of
civilization are already appearing in
the Klondike?'' Eyes; they were just
getting nuggetin-the-slot machines as
I came away."-Puck.
Neighbor-Does your father rent that
house you live in? Boy-No, indeed.
IT'S his own house, every bit Of it. It's
been bought and paid for and insured
and mortgaged and everything.
Henry Yellowby-Aftah wes mar
ried, We'll hab chicken for dinnah eb-
cry day, honey. Melinda Johnson
Oh, yo' deary! But wouldn't ask yo
to run sich risks fob nah sake.-Puck.
'Tt is true" she said, shat our club
has disbanded." "What was the trou-
ble?' he asked. "Why, the president
tried to enforce rule to the effect that
only one member could talk at time"
Chicago Post.
Good Friend-I have reason to sus-
pect that your husband is flirting with
other women. You ought to follow
him wherever he goes. "Great heav-
ems! My husband Is a postman." -
Fhegende Blatter.
.He-The sight Of an old schoolmate
s-er-well, 1t might be called both
meat and drink. She-Yes, that's what
you men usually do under the circum-
stances. He-Eh? She-Meet and
drink -rhdianapol Journal.
want situation as errand boy, do
you? Well, can you tell me how far
the moon Is from the earth, eh?" Boy
-"Well, guv'nor, l don't know, but
reckon it amt near enough to interfere
with me running errands." He got the
job.
81 often wonder just what she thinks
of me-" said the young married man.
"It is easy to find OUT" said the elderly
married man. "Just sit down on her
hat, and she will tell you what she
thinks Of you in less than minute
Tit-Bits.
Mamma-Has Mr.. Dorrance given
you reason to believe that he means
business? Clara-Business! L should
think he did mean business! I'm sick
of the word business. All he has talk
! ed about the last three times he has
been here was papa's business.-Cleve-
land Leader.
Parson Johnson-I jes' stopped In
moment ago to see de widder Jackson.
found her quite unconsolable. | told
her dat weeping would not bring her
husband back, and Mrs. Persim-
mons -Humph! Eff yo' wanted her to
stop cryin' 20 orter told her dat 1t
would.-Judge.
She-'I don't see what reason you
have for expecting anything but re-
fusal. 1 never gave you any encourage
ment." He Gust rejected)-"Oh, Miss
Coyne-Maude! You did-you most
certainly did encourage me! You told
me you had ten thousand a year IN your
own right" Tit Bits.
"Sadeye is a man l admire. He and
Butts had been bad friends for year;
but when he heard that Butts wife
was dangerously i'll, he went up TO MIN
and offered his sympathy" "Um! You
are probably not aware that Sadeye
has gone into the undertaking bust
ness Philadelphia North American.
Edith-She lost Freddy through her
own stupidity. A girl should never
hermit herself to appear more inteli-
gent than the man who is talking to
| her. That Is the rule always follow.
Bertha-But then it is so easy for you,
YOU know. You ought not to be too
harsh upon poor Hettie.-Boston Tran
script.
T"Ahv' said the clustering lawyer
whose client had just been acquitted
snow that it's all over, would you
4 mind telling me how you reached your
yerdictT "Certainly," replied the jury
man. 1--WE felt sure that If he hac
been guilty he wouldn't have hired you
TO defend him."-Philadelphia NORTH