Mesa free press., 1898-02-04
HA !'|I AaEqH,
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Historical or hysterical?-Indianap-
oils Journal.
Military nt-Lieutenant-
"Good evening, Miss. You look like a
gende Blatter.
They say all the necessaries of life
are very dear in the Klondike." mot
at all. Ice is SO cheap they can't give
it away."-Puck.
Photographer-"Now, try to look like
yourself" Noting the effect)-'Well-
er, Inn; try to look like somebody
else."-Harlem Life.
Johnny-"Papa, what Is a faction p
Papa-"It is term used to describe
that section of the party to which you
do not belong."-Puck.
Friend-"This seems to be comfort
able fat" Harlemite-"It does. It
makes that impression on everybody
who doesn't live in it."-Puck.
Elderly Coquette (sentimentally)-
eyes, my dear Mr.. Assessor, love is
eternal" Assessor (frightenedl-"S 1
perceive. "-Fliegende Batter.
Experience" said Uncle Eben, 'is
er good teacher; but education is li'ble
ter be wasted on er man dat dom pen
on muffin else" -Washington Star.
Executive-"I would appoint your
man, but he's too ignorant for the po-
lice force" Heeler--"Den put him on
the school board" New York Herald.
Does my whistling disturb your
ooh, not in the least. I'm used to hear
ing men whistle. I'm collector for a
millinery use."-Yonkers Statesman.
A Long Head.-"Why does that hard
drinking Beasley wear his hat all the
timer? "For fear he can't get it on If
he takes it off. cleveland Plain
Dealer.
Mistress-"Bridget, are there any let
tiers for me this morning. Bridget
"Only two postal cards, but there's
nothing of Importance in them. File
gende Batter.
A Dilemma.-"Well, George, dear,
what do you think Of my new hatY
IL wish L knew" knew whatw
'What am expected to think."-Cleve-
land Plain Dealer.
How 1t May Be.-"People are not
alike, and what suits one may not
please another" 81 guess that's right.
What is one mans bicycle is another
mans juggernaut." Puck.
IT hear" said the zephyr, 'that you
have been raging through the north
west" ''Never was worse mistake"
howled the blizzard. II was quite
cool. "-Indianapolis Journal.
He Cooking out at the window)-"It's
so bright and cheerful within and so
cold and gloomy without" She
without what?" He-"Why, without
you, dearest. Chicago News.
Marriage" said the Sentimental
Girl, lis lottery" "But the trouble
isl said the Pessimistic Bachelor,
"that the man takes most of the
chances. "-Indianapolis Journal.
L
trate-"What do you do during the
weekY' Tramp-"Nothing" Magis-
trate-"And ON SundayY Tramp
''Then 1 take day off."-Tit-Bit
Maria, wake up quick!
The house is on fire. You save the
babyw Wife-"Oh, my wheel, my
wheelv' Husband-"Come on, car
ried that out first" -Rochester Herald.
First Mother-"Don't you find it a
great relief to have the children in
school againY Second Mother-"Well,
it would be If they didn't learn so
many new questions to ask. It'll Bits.
Jean-'sWhy do you never speak to
Mr.. Outre? He is uncouth, but feel
sure he is a diamond in the rough"
Katherine-"So do 1. That's why I'm
cutting him. Cincinnati Commercial.
Good Friend-'I have reason to sus-
pect that your husband is flirting with
other women. You ought to follow him
wherever he goes" Great heavens!
My husband is postman. "-Fliegende
Batter.
The Wise Proprietor Guest Tin
cheap estaurant)-"Here, waiter! this
meal is simply vile. l won't pay for it.
Where's the proprietor" Waiter
Hes out at lunch, sir. Philadelphia
Record!
Kate-"He seems extremely devoted.
He talks Of going to the Klondike for
my sake" Bea trice-'Well, that would
give you two chances. He might come
back with a fortune or he might not
come back at all."--Puck.
el.-Naomi-"He'sa mean, insult
ing thing" Stella--"Why" Naomi
II told him 1 didn't know whether to
go to the opera or the play, and he said
/ was old enough to choose for myself"
Philadelphia American.
Mr.. Wiggles-''The true facts Of the
case were that Mrs. Wiggles I'm
terrupting)-"Joshua did you ever
know any facts that weren': trueY
A,5 e1,o Doyor hard tho roct of tho +