The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1898-09-03
VOL. XXXIII.--NO. 45.
Irish Bulls.
From the London Spectator.

The owner of valuable horse was very
indignant with his stable boy for having
allowed the animal, which he had taken
out for morning trot, to take head
1.-The divil bit O me could sthop him,
sir, for [ had no spurs, was the boys
strange excuse. An amusing story was
told me by friend who is a dispensary
doctor in union in the south of Ireland
One night he was awakened by rapping
at the front door of his residence, and,
going to the window, saw laboring man
below. "What's the matter, my good
fellow?' he said. - 'Tis me ould mother
that tuck bad, docther,' replied the
man. "Have you been long here p asked
the doctor II have, thin, yer Homer,
Then why on earth didn't you ring the
night bell p ''Sure, | was afraid I'd
disturb yer Homer, was the man per-
fectly sincere reply. No doubt, with the
Irish peasants desire to make himself as
little troublesome as possible to his betters
from whom he has to ask service, the
man had confused idea that rapping at
the door would disturb the doctor less than
ringing the night bell
''Bulls often originate in misunder-
standing of the meaning of words Or terms.
\ lady asked widow whether her son
was still in the orphanage at Dublin.
'Och, no, me lady," was the reply.
"Sure he's an orphan no longer. He's
now workin' at trade outside At an
inquest held recently in Galway concern
ing the death Of child under rather sus-
picious circumstances, quack doctor, who
attended the child, stated in the course Of
his evidence that he had given him ipeca-
cuanha "You might as well have given
the Aurora Borealis, . said the coroner
Now, there is one thing an Irish peasant
will not do, and that is acknowledge his
ignorance of any subject, so the quack
doctor returned the prompt reply ''And
sure, yer Homer, that was the very thing
l was goin' to give him next, if he hadn't
died iish thin = The incapacity of the
average Irish mind to rapidly grasp the
import of numbers is also the fruitful
source of ''bulls. Every one will re-
member Charles Kean's picture of the
stevedore of the hatchway, shouting down
to the men in the hold Now, thin.
how many of we is down there?' GIVE
of us Thin, half of yes kun up di-
rectly, cries the steyedore.
The light in which domestic service is
regarded by some servants in Ireland is
illustrated by an amusing anecdote which
was told by lady in letter written to a
Dublin newspaper some time ago. A
young country girl called on her in answer
to an advertisement for a general servant.
"Have you a reference 2 asked the lady.
Reference r exclaimed the girl in in
iured tones. ''What do want that for?
Sure, tbs I've got to live with you, and
not you with me T. That letter led to
the relation by second mistress Of the
story of another laughable bull. - One
day her servant answered knock at the
hall door. ''Who was it that called?'
she asked the maid subsequently. cit
was gintleman, lookin' for the wrong
house. was the reply. There is story
told in journalistic circles in Dublin OF a
delightful display of cuteness by a farmer
who called at one Of the newspaper Offices
to have an advertisement inserted. He
was informed that the charges were 6s.
for the first insertion and Is, Cd. for the
second ''Faith, thin, said he, 9TH
have it in the second tonne. Here are
two comical bulls, due to the Celt' 5
lightning rapidity of thought: els it
son or daughter your sister, Mrs. Healy,
has got p asked gentleman of one Of
his tenants whom he met on the road.
THE curse of the cows on me, but don
know whether m an uncle or an aunt,
was the immediate reply. | was once
present at a review of militia regiment in
the south of Ireland, when the Sergeant
Major came up and reported to the Colonel
that all the ammunition was exhausted.
'"Then sound Cease firing, . roared the
commanding officer. At Killarney every
visitor hears some laughable stories. Here
is one-new and fresh, think-which |
picked up during my last visit to the glor
ious lakes A number of boatmen, who
were quamelling about the division Of
tips, indulged at the top Of their voices
in a good deal of profane language, which
the marvellous echo repeated verbatim.
''Arrah, look at that now for schandal, -
said one of the party, who was of pious
turn. "Tachin the poor, harmless echo
to curse and sware