The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1898-09-15
JONES' UNFORTUNATE
JOKE
BY MATE PALMER.

ZONES declared women had no sense
u of humor-couldn't see joke I'M
less it was labeled, and wouldn't put
themselves out to reach a serious in
depreciation of the ARREST jest.
His wife thought such jokes as his
would hardly he recognized if they
were labeled and said clumsy prevari-
cation was a long way from a wit
ticism anyway, and man of refined
sensibility wouldn't play practical
jokes on his own wife.
Then Jones grew very angry. It
isn't pleasant to be misunderstood and
maligned, and to have ones innocent
Pleasantries and good-natured fun
dragged in the mire of condemnation
and dubbed falsehoods.
He said cruel things calculated to
ranllle for a long time in the feminine
heart, if by chance it didn't perma-
rently ruin the domestic harmony of
the blishment, and his wife took
them all in dead earnest They
wouldn't have more weight if they
had been deliberately planned six
months in advance.
She knew she was heartbrol1en and
she assumed an injured-innocnce
manner which she intended should be
deeply pathetic, but which was really
YER ludicrous and strongly suggestive
of a fit of the sulks. She was bound
TO make the punishment fit the crime
and determined that only the most
,abject apology should ever bring
her off OF her stilts.
She performed her various house
hold duties with the utmost precision.
She prepared delicacies of which he
was specially fond, thus heaping Goals
of fire on his weary head, and then
sat like a wooden woman while they
were being served.
But posing as a martyr is a difficult
task. Few women can endure the
tension longer than week. Mrs.
Jones kept it up five days, and then
her dearest friend found her, like
Niobe, dissolved in tears.
She had INDUCED in a few surrepti-
tious crying spells at different times
before, but, strong in her determine
choke back all such indications of
weakness and present a heroic appear
ance when the enemy arrived. But
victory seemed as remote as ever and
her nerves appeared to be dancing
perpetual cancan,
. -shs feared she was op the verge
Ct total collapse, mental as we'll as
physical. and visions of detention hos
pitfalls mingled with the shadowy phan-
toms of hysteria.
Her friend was astounded to find her
in such state of grief. Jones had
always been considered a model hus-
band; it couldn't be his fault, and no
one was dead or seriously i'll. That
much she managed to gather between
the sobbing and moaning. But it was
some time before the poor sufferer was
sufficiently quoted to give a coherent
idea of the cause of all her woe.
1t appeared that few weeks be-
fore, her husband had told her that
some old friends of his had moved to
Chicago. He was delighted because
they had come, for he was very fond
of them, but sorry he had not known in
st ason to get them into their neigh
borhood. She had asked where they
did live and he said: away out on
Minute street beyond Jackson park"
and told her she must go and call on
them as soon as possible, and then
fearing she might forget the number
he had written it down for her, -
Minute street.
Two or three weeks went by before
she could spare the time, and it was
a cold, uncomfortable day when she
finally started to make the visit. 1t
didn't occur to her to ask any ques-
tons. Her husband had said that they
were way out beyond Jackson park.
So she took Cottage Grove avenue
car and when they got out in that
neighborhood she told the conductor
to let her off at Minute street He
asked her over three times and then
said she must be mistaken in the name,
he had never heard of such street.
But he was a new man on the route,
and there migbI be such street.
She was sure she had gone far
enough, so she got off and walked and
studied the names on the lamp posts.
She asked a small boy and he giggled
and said it was "just up yonder."