The Brinkley argus., 1898-08-11
WAR "REMINISCENCES.
FEAR IN BATTLE.

t--
 One Mans Desperate Effort to Cure
 Himself of It.
 Some of us think there never was such a man; others have been contend ing that hundreds of men fought straight through the civil war on eacii side without ever knowing qualm of personal fear. What have you to say about it, colonel? You certainly ought to know for you were in it from start to finish"
 "Yes, ought to know" answered the colonel, land do know. was lad when I enlisted. I shall never forget that day. My father had fine country place up the river then. I had just passed my 17th birthday. There was nothing but talk, talk, talk about the war and enlisting, and got very much aroused on the subject. islipped off to a little island near by early one morn ing and staid there alone that whole day thinking the matter over; when l went home t11< feht my mind was made up. N Zeal away down to the city next day zlid enlist. did.
 "When got back home the next after noon I was shaking in my boots, for l had no idea what my mother and father would say to me. You know young clap always tackles his mother first under those conditions. So Iwent in to where mine was busy with her house. hold duties and said
 "'Mother, I've enlisted
 "'IIow dare you do such a thing ? she answered, ang1ily and shut her lips tight.
 q can't tell you how miserable | felt over the way she took the news, be- cause my boyish heart was full of the cause. made my way hesitatingly to my fathers study, opened the door and stood face to face with the old gentle man.
 "'What is it, young man?' he asked. "'Father, I've enlisted I answered. "'Well, what of it?' lie answered. If you hadn't I should have drowned you, and he took my hand in his. Then he looked at me hard, and before Il<new it he gave me the kiss that should have come from my mother.
 ''I started in as a lieutenant. My fa- ther was influential, and he saw to that. When I started out I felt sure that I would never know what the feeling of fear was, and experience taught me that all soldiers went forth with the same impression. Cad, how I changed my mind during my first slirmish! We were behind an cmbankment and was in command. It just rained lead across our heads. Every time q man raised his head above the breastworks it came whizzing off his shoulders as sure as shooting. I got scared. I could feel myself growing colorless. I couldn't articulate. My arms grew rigid, and to save me couldn't have put in load. All of sudden it came to me that the men under me knew that was scared. This thought loosened up my tongue and joints bit. Then it flashed over me that it would never do for me to let my men know that was afraid, and that I must do something 10 prove that was not. What could do? The man next me polSed his head up at that point and mimic ball took him right between the eyes. A cold sweat broke out on me, and Twas ready to collapse, when all of n sudden it caIne back to me. that all would be lost; that should bc ruined if let my men go on thinking that was coward. seized my field glasses and with shout lcaped to the topof the brcastworks. I raised those glasses to my eyes, and for second our enemy al- most stopped firing they. were so as- tonished. looked from one end of their lines to the other.
 "Comc down from there, you blamed little fool!' said rough voice behind me, and I was jerked back intosthe ditch by powerful force Doyou want