The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1898-03-19
Hostess and Guest.

American ''The World of Society, is
applicable at all seasons, and should be
read and practiced by all classes in city
and country; better still, paste it in your
writing desk
This is the time of the year when many
visitors are in the city, people often pre-
terring to come at this season The gay
ETY. being of milder order, there is better
chance to become acquainted with ones
entertainers. Although it is delightful to
have guests staying with one, it is
one of those things that has another side,
and very decided one at that. 1t is
charming, or ought to be, to give and ac-
cept hospitality, but it is often the re-
verse, for there are few ideal hostesses any
more than there are ideal guests; in fact.
one should graduate in both capacities be
fore one attempts either role. The prob
lem is, naturally. feminine one, lis few
men either have the time or the desire to
be host or visitor. One has to be very
young to like either position for any length
OF time. for. as people grow older, they
become more and more attached to their
own ways and methods Of doing things
and it is hard to adapt oneself to new rules
and conditions.
To deal with the guest first. we must
remark that the ideal one, by no chance,
overstays the original limit Of her invita-
ton, and no persuasions, particularly
those of well-meaning, but over-zealous,
outsiders, should ever tempt her to post
pone her departure by one hour. Even
should the hostess insist upon her remain
ing longer, let her. by no chance do 50,
Far better to go when begged to stop than
to risk wearing out her welcome by Il
lengthy sojourn. Two weeks, except
under very peculiar and intimate circum-
stances, is ample time to abide anywhere.
Truly, a week or ten days is usually long
enough for the great majority, who rarely
wear well upon better acquaintance.
The ideal guest should have resources
of her own, and not depend upon her
hostess society all the time, pleasant
though it may be- She should have nu
merous letters to write, and should always
write i'll her own room. and never at her
hostess no matter how Hospitality it is Of
fered her. She should conform with the
getting-up and going -to-bed hours of the
family, and should, by all means. be pune
tual at each meal 1t would be we'll to
cultivate the sleeping habit, and to retire
to her room every day, if opportunity per
mits, for so-called map in reality, to
give her entainer the chance for an hour
rest and to allow her to follow her plans for
the day and to attend to her home duties
The ideal guest should be fond Of reading
but she should make it a point to depend
upon the magazines scattered about, or hen
own literature, and never presume to go
to the family library for Il book Many
persons do not like to have their mathe
matically arranged shelves disturbed,
though too polite to admit it.
The ideal guest should be agreeable
upon the visiting question always ready
to return calls, and never showing what Il
bore she deems it. She should not criti-
cize her hostess friends or even express
too great fondness for them. as in that
way she sometimes errs upon the wrong
side She should invariably be ready for
any little spree or plot Of her hostess, and
always be pleasant when visitors arrive
upon the scene; yet. above all. she must
ascertain whether any Of them are par
ticular friends of her hostess, and, i'll that
case. the guest should efface herself oc-
casionally, as to be too much in evidence
is extremely bad taste and trying upon
every one concerned. 1t seems hardly
necessary to touch upon the great impro-
priety of discussing her entertainers with
outsiders, OF advise her to refrain from
actually abusing her hostess to the latter 5
special friends; and yet, such things have
been done, impossible as it might appear.
and hint here may be in order.
There are duties, too, and very string
ent ones, for the woman who entertains,
and she should remember before she asks
any one to visit her that she must be ready
to give up part of her time, great deal of
her own way, and even a few of her opin
ions before she undertakes the character
of an ideal hostess She should of course,
endeavor to give her visitor all the fun and
amusement possible, and keep every dis
agreeable topic away from her ears. She
should refuse to fuss with her family. scold
her children or reprove her servants before
the guest She should invite those
whom she thinks would be congenial and
| iDternStiDtr and ShOuld mako If u ooint tO
discover her fiiend's tastes If she sees
| that she likes to be alone, she should, by
no means, infict her society upon her con-
| tinually OF follow her into her room. This
naturally takes it for granted that her
guest is given an apartment to herself.
The days have gone by when any one,
even young girl, cares to have room
mate and no one should ever invite per-
son to visit her unless she has Il spare
room \ hostess should allow her guest
to 90 out by herself sometimes Often
she might want to shop, and the presence
Of any one then is tiresome.
1t goes without saying that no questions
should ever be asked about the guest $
letters or any undue curiosity displayed
about her life. Every one resents curl
0sity, and to cover it up under the guise
of interest deceives no one
But to reduce the whole question of
hostess and guest to science, let each
respect the tastes and dispositions of the
other, and then entertaining and visiting
could truly be described under the head of