The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1898-11-20
ROCKING CHAIR GUESTS.
PEOPLE VINO DO Nor KNOW now
TO BE ENTERTAINER

ThoIr Ho.tesses-An Art seldom Taught
Int Much Needed-AdvRntRRes and De
,scts Of the New skirts-Chr,stnRs Gifts
rhore,s an angry woman not n million mllos
-, Now York. She says "vexed' does not ex.
nress her mental state. for she Is downright
sngry os the result OF entertaining people who
A. not know how to be entertained.
T"Tbe art OF entertaining is one thingi" she
a.,l,red alphabetically TO her daughter and an
Ia lady who happened 10 be the last guest
~, In the house. "and the art OF being enter
,alned is quite apotherl'
A drag had just left the door carrying three
Girls and two men to the station.
"your tone doesn't sound very hospitable.' -
h..tny said her daughter. with a sidelonR
Glance Of warning at the remaining guest.
~ don't give twopence how 1t sounds" sho
-.rued. Il lust want to repeat that, while Ave
romep out Of ten know how to entertain
.h.rminRly. niue out OF ten do not know how
N be entertained. The average American
woman does not know how to play guest. She's
MI right as hostess. but oh! she's usually q per-
fact burden as n guest
"Yhy. MOTHER exclaimed the daughter
,horouehly shocked by this time. do you
r.,lize what you are saying ? Remember. three
r6nen guests have just left us. and you al
vsys drilled into me tho advice that nothing
v.smore III bred and hypocrltical than to talk
about those who had been your guests"
Then the girl gave another uneasy glance
toward the remaining guest.
"You needn't be looking at Mrs. Shortstay. -
rstorted the mother. II don't mind In the
last talking before her. because she and I
agree perfectly on this subject. and. anyway.
,he Ia one Of the most entertainable people /
.ser knew. II all women were like Mrs. Short
stay, I'd have no reason to conf plain and neither
would any other hostess. II l had my way. L
would establish a big school where men and
women. particularly women. could take q
course, q thorough course. In the art Of being
entertained. Many OF them. sad to tell. would
reoulre the regulation German university
course. / fear. which means seven years."
How can you talk so ?" asked the daughter,
IN a slightly impatient tone.
Your mother Is quite right" spoke up Mrs.
shortstay for the first time. Quite right. 1t
was well enough for her to instruct you as to
how you should treat those who are your
guests, both while they are under your roof
and after they've left 1t; but she made the mis-
take that the average mother makes in not in
~structIng you also in the art Of being enter
tanned. Experience has taught me that 1t is
the distinct duty Of parents to teach their
CnIluTtl iON uCl 40 Rutoio guSb ao no
II is to teach them how to act as hosts and
h~ostesses. Take it all in all. volumes have
been written on the art OF entertaining. but
precious little is ever said on the art Of being
entertained. because little is known about that
subject. Indeed. /, for, my part. feel that the
You both are talking Greek to me" said the
girl with a puzzled. sigh. If you are casting
reflections on the three ladies and two
right. | know Mrs. Nevergo Is q bit tiresome
because she tries to scintillate all the time. and
too much brain illumination tires and weakens
the minds which have to endure the reflection.
And then. too. the Alwayscome girls are rather
hard to entertain because they never want TO
ali al three Sse' are very ' nice nc and wei bred, and Pm
sure you can't say a thing against the men, :.
well" "a, answered the wb mother; Ad didn't 4
didn't mean to be in the least personal, but
since you yourself are personal. I'll toll you
ira9kly MEYER Mye S e. long as Z l live wish av you te
girls again. Why Because they are fnil
types Of the wom Te who o dc not know now t6
fond Of .scintillating that she never stops to
think whether your ears ache or not 4
s TSmsG vino in he's ,E co SoHeina9asl' is % a6norm aaG
she sas Is I Ssl stIxt I'll Gta and d. S Ssl1isht s 5ssS mhs, she she
toT the. mental pace she has set for herself.
Mrs. Nevergo. has been in this house four
70 set the lead in, conversation yet. then /
don't know it. and il she has ever once shown
enc slightest symptom OF interest in what any
from her. As for the Aiwayscome girls.
81 soeH Ia arr a hnr9 NJ lie e s1%pSIh bs sgt ths sSe miss IS
not understand the art of being entertained.
ia class them as rocking chair guests give
talk to and they are supremacy happy. But a
guests has duties as well as q hostess. and ono
Of them is to make others happy as well as to
be happy. A, guest should entertain the people
with whom she Is visiting Just as much as she
Is entertained, and a man or woman who under
''aa3 3nit the ri nEs e! Gin nterlapted d %ls. tf ssortstay.
person, man. woman or child. should at once
tanning as is received. People would get 80
they'd only do this. Lie would open up to
learn and feel things they'd never dreamed
o.; q new set Of sensations would come
nc them imprs snf Si'en new All feelings HHw sf Essa III
n nsaasss E %SFs ds snfistEHyel facing sha1 the. fn s!rI
the AlwayscoAe girls, but Just, let me
show you how much more they could have had
out Of their two weeks visit to you had they
nrst place, Instead OF. gluing themselves to
TWO pig rocking chairs from the day they came
e.tsd themselves in what interesteI You. In
Mead OF interfering with your daily routine:
nheh you wanted to go out on the hills and
PAM, they. would have accompanied you and
learned a little about how n picture Is made
and alsocome into touch with nature; when you
wanted to practice they would have urged you
quo so and listened to your singing, learning
.on you something about songs and their
eaenors. and when, you wanted to play golf
sheyd have been In for it. and thus their minds
shd bodies would have been benefited bytheir
risN They would have really stepped into n
neW world. and they could have carried you
mo Q new world by teaching you some new
Sames they learned in England. by telling you
Vi Ihslr travels in Egypt, by talking over with
Rpu t1eIr club work for this winter. But all
sner ad 80 FAR as l could see was to fritter
sway thelr own time and to steal yours. You
%st me pink Of tho painting season. you
sIe Az out OF voice and almost i'll for want OF
kccustomed exercise. and all because you've
Ioen hospltablc to people who did not know
.VT 10 act as guests. Men. as a rule now how
pe entertained better than women. They
nIsiy stay longer than they are wanted and
fn%em 70 know how TO adapt themselves to the
Is,t entertaining them. A successful gnest
ts always been a poor woman. but
tss derived almost nothing but pleasure and
napplness from life. and i don't suppose any
NJ" %yJ"aan was ever more sought by young and
0Md' stranger and longtime friend. than 1. I'm
H NJ now, and ] can say this to people who love
ess You two do. And the reason / attribute
Inns; Early IN life | learned how to be enter
H.lru: when l go into a family to visit 1 i'm
I,ula,ely become genuinely inteTested in what
nIhsefests them, and ] tell you I've learned
hS y al know by doing this. On the other