Gulf Coast breeze. [volume] (Crawfordville, Fla.) 1897-19??, 1898-07-15

| Inat, III we Dut nau tue tiino,
We could leave them all behind us
In the race for fame sublime
SUBSEQUENT.
! Bronson-My poor old grandmother
is dead, and her parrot died the next
day.
I Dailey-very strange! The poor
bird died Of grief, I suppose
! Bronson--No, I killed it with 0
poker.
IN THE RANKS,
! Mrs. Buswick-Did your husband
occupy an important position in the
army during the civil war?
Mrs. Miswell-A very important
position. He was employed by the
Government in private capacity.
Mrs. Buswick-Indeed.
WAR SAFE GUARD.
Miss Willington-I'm glad this
trouble with Spain has come, even II
II is going to be rather costly.
! Miss Wrightley-Wly, You heart
less girl What makes you say that?
Miss Willington--Hecause hereafter
when ma gets to telling about cum
ming things l used to do before the
war it'll not be such complete give
away.
! PREPARING FOR THE WORST.
The young naval recruit was bid
ding farewell to the friends at home,
when the old man said to him:
John, you will likely be in many
ticklish places. But il you should
happen to be killed at sea, don't let
'em bury you there, but tell 'em to
send you home. Give 'em them in
structions the moment you know that
you're killed. Don't neglect it. We
want you where we can put monu-
ment or you and point to you with
pride!"
The young man said he think over
it.
A RUINoUs PRACTICE.
81 thought you and Horrikins
formed a law partnership last week;
yet you seem to have this Office all to
yourself now ?"
1--WE did form q partnership, but
kicked him out. A woman came in
the other day to consult him and he
told her she had no case, before he
had put in a single days work on it. "
NOT ASTEDILUvIAN.
The Vet--Pll wager You never once
smeled the smoke of battle.
The Recruit No sir. In my time
they only used smokeless powder
SHE THOUGHT 1T OVER.
Mrs. Mishaw-You praise yourself
too much. my dear. People would
appreciate you more, and would tell
you so, if you were to cultivate little
modest reticence.
Mr.. Mishaw--There's where you
are out. 1 did that for years, and
nobody took any notice Of me butyou.
A SHATTERED ROMANCE.
Edith suppose you are getting
lovely letters from your soldier ad-
mirer.
May-Dear me, no! He turns out
not to have soul above the salt pork
which he complains they are feeding
him on.
BAFFLED.
The fortune-teller excused hersel
for a minute and left the room.
I'll have to give it up" she said
to her confederate.
What's the matter p
"Why, how can I be expected to
tell the fortune Of that big gawking
idiot successfully when I can't worm
any sort of tip ont of him as to the
kind of fortune.telling he wants to
hear %
Yes; there are many difficulties of
which we little wot or entirely wot
not, as the case may be.
NEprUNE's CLEAN DOMAIN.
Pill-The sea ought to be pretty
clean by this time.
Jill-Why so?
$50 many ships securing it"
PosTpoNrNa THE DATE.
First Guest-Say, don't talk so loud.
Jones, our hostess is going to sing
"Some Day"
Second Guest-Oh, 60 and tell her
to sing next week, won't you?
ovERDID 1T.
"Did You find the wideawake sales
man you advertised for %
"Yes, but We couldn't keep him;
the only business qualification he had
was insomnia"
AN EXPENSIVE FLEET.
Wagg!es-The various prisons are
likely TO bankrupt the country.
Jaggles-How's that?
Wagsles-Wry. see they feed the
prisoners on bread and water.