The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1898-10-01

foialpie pr0ken English, OF his morning S
proves. and thrice a score of times
he slew his slain grouse--my grouse-with
subIimeself- Iaudation. | then found my
opportunity to say word that should
further tinkle my vanity
Your Majesty was too hard on ME, l
observed. Yeunever gave me a chance.
You were perpetually wiping my eye.
The mofiarch knitted his Imperial brow
in puzzled frown Evidently the idiom
was beyond him.
wipe his eye? What he mean n he
said, turning to the Marquis, who sat on
his right.
II is asporting phrase, explained our
host. 1t means to-to shoot the-next
guns birds before he has-has time to do
50 himself And it takes pretty smart
shot to wipe Curwen' eye, | can assure
your Majesty, added the adulatory Mar
quis.
The Emperor's puzzled frown relaxed
into broad, benignant smile.
sHo Z he said, was dat so? | apollo
gize, mine yong friend dat | leave you no
grouse to shoot at But my aim was al
ways queeck and fatal Nit me it is bang
kill; bang-kill Won cartridge-von
grouse Dat is mine way.
An excellent way, too, remarked our
host.
81 haf keel de fifty braces dis morning, =
said his Majesty, pulling his long mustaches
complacently.
You have certainly done your share
toward the bag, replied some other syco-
phant.
Ha | hat help keep up de bags, =
admitted the monarch.
By means of his braces, whispered
my waggish neighbor Morden in my ear,
nearly causing me to explode with laughter,
but | just managed to keep my counte-
nance Had | failed to do so the conse-
quences might have been disastrous, for
his Majesty is most suspicious of hiIarity,
and one could never laugh, but he fancied
one was laughing at him. will not, how
ever, deny that he may have had good
grounds for his suspicion.
The events of this afternoon need not be
detailed. They we're merely repetition
of what had occurred in the morning. The
Marquis found an opportunity in the course
of the evening to commend me for the skill
and discretion with which had played my
part.
And if you can keep it up over tomor-
row, he said, all will have gone most
favorably"
His Majesty leaves here the day after,
| understand p
Eyes; he is going on to Balmoral But
you will assist, in the same manner, for
this one more day my dear Curwen !?
Under the same guarantee Of personal
safety, Marquis 2
Under the same guarantee.
Every well, | will again play the part
of the eye-wiped. y
Next morning was again beautifully fine.
We started shooting at the usual hour.
All went excellently until just before lunch
con. Then disaster befell us. The first
token of the impending crash was that his
Majesty stopped suddenly in his onward
march, giving vent to loud ''goddam'
that was heard all along the line The
Marquis hurried up to his Imperial guest;
50 did |; so did we ALL shuddered, feel
ing cold chill of horror steal over me. [
saw that our host countenance was of an
almost ashen pallor | knew the cause
The Emperor held in his hand cartridge,
of which the outer wad had become par
tally displaced, and through the aperture
thereby occasioned was streaming down
ward, not the expected charge of No. )
but fine, dark brown powder, little more
substantial than the sand in an hour glass.
With lowering look he threw the cart
ridge on the heather, took another from
the bag, and cut open the lower end with
his penknife. The same contents were dis
closed. Then, in quick succession, another
and another Just the same. The I'm
perial face was by this time lurid with
wrath as tropical sky in thunder storm.
His expression was appalling He burst
into a torrent-a screaming, gurglng,
kissing torrent of furious words.
''Ha goddam-a million goddams.
Vat dis mean? am befooled-I am be-
guiled-I am bamboozled Who hat
played dis game of tricks upon me?
viii crush him-I will smash him-I will
enfortress him Who is he, Marquis? |
will know, say Produce to me this god
dam villain 7
And then he unshipped the whole bag
of cartridges from the loader shoulder,
flung it on the ground, and danced and
on it in an ecstacy of imperial rage.
[ looked at our host He was speech
less paralyzed with dismay His care
fully laid plan for obviating the fasco of a
fatal accident at his shooting party, while
at the same time binding his imperial
guest into the belief that he was shooting
in Al form, stood ruthlessly revealed. The
catastrophe was appalling-complete. There
was no escaping it. Small wonder the poor
Marquis could not find word to say.
But we all have our moments of inspira-
ton And lucky indeed are we when the
inspiration comes to us at the critical point
it is most needed. NV insp;rrs-
ton came to me at that crisis. II flashed |
across my mine-a message from the gods
| saw my way to save the situation.
Hurrying forward | fell upon my kness
in the heather before the dancing, stamp
inc, raging monarch. Pardon Pardonr
[ cried, clasping my hands in gesture of
piteous entreaty Pardon, Majesty
Behold the ulprit ?
''You p roared the Emperor, with pur-
pie face. You? Vat you mean? How
you dare? You goddam traitor 7
"Ahl pity me, sacred Majesty, = | cried.
II was sorely tempted You know not
what shooting is to me- Oh it is as the
breath of life And when, all the day
your imperial skill banked me
If every opportunity, and you killed all my
birds with marvellous quickness and preci-
ion before | had the chance to shoot,
became maddened, desperate
l paused The Emperor scowl was re-
axing palpably. His vanity was beginning
0 feel my tickling. My spirits rose.
Zach ! he exclaimed. $50 you vos
naddened nit me fos persistins to wipe your
we? Ach, dat vos so, vos it? But you
hall confess it all NIT your own lips. Pro-
cod -avnlain ,;