The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1898-02-01
FLASHES OF FIN.


studies the stars and the other under
studies Philadelphia Record.
These lake excursions seem SO lone
some" Lonesome? Why, l am with
you" Yes. l know, but l couldn't
bring my wheel along."-Chicago Rec
ord.
She-"The Sanfords contemplate tax
Ing IA trip to Europe. l wish we could
afford to do It," He-"Why, there's
nothing cheaper than contemplation"
Puck.
Watts-"Getting n little rest out your
way since the piano girl took TO the
wheel. aren't your Potts-"Naw.
Her bicycle suit Is louder than the
plano was."-Indlanapolls Journal.
Fuddy-"I understand that Wigley
spends most OF his evenings here ut
your house?' Duddy-"I had an Inn
preston that 1t was my evenings that
he spends here. boston Transcript.
The Judge-"Didn't tell you the last
time that you were here that wanted
to see your face In this court no more"
Weary Watkins-"You did, yeronner.
and that Is exactly wot tole the cop"
There's the bicycle face and the bicycle
back.
With its queer, nltitudinous curve:
And the bicycle tongue, in the middle
hung,
And the scorcher's bicycle nerve.
-Queensla nd Wheel.
Customer-"Do you guarantee these
porous plasters to be good for a weak
/, h.... fr .I..N u.
good for n week back-and for a month
% come after you put them on."-Judge.
a Remarkable Woman.-Mr. McCor-
kle-"My wife has better memory
than any ether woman | know" Mr..
McCrackle-"Indeed?" Mr.. McCorkle
Yes; she always remembers what's
trumps. Judge.
IL told her / was afraid to kiss her
while we were on the tandem for fear
we would both fall on" What did lie
sayT "She said she hoped | didn't
call myself nm experienced wheelman."
Chicago Record.
Fuddy-"Thcy say you have n liking
Cor Miss Spontcl." buddy .Ionsense!
The woman is insupportable." Fuddy
That's just 1t. You won't have to
support her. She's got enough for
wo."-Boston Transcript.
Gent (solicitouslyJZ" have here
some indestrnctiblc pieplatcs" Mr..
Hall Bedroome (grlmIy)-"Well, you
have come to the right house to sell
them. That's the sort of pies Mrs.
Skinner gives us."-Puck.
Il understand their engagement has
been broken" Yes. She says she was
deceived. He had only six century runs
to his credit Instead OF sixteen, and as
she had fourteen herself, he was clear
Iy out Of her class. Chicago Post.
Advice from the IIeart.-Barrow-
That's dandy wheel you have there,
old man. I'll take little spin on 1t
some day. BY the way, what kind OF
wheel do you think | ought to ride
Marrow-"Onc of your own Brook
Ign Life.
''iIc is an awfully wise young man,
10 have seen no more than twenty
three summers" He may have seen
but twenty three summers, but the
number OF summer girls he has met
runs up To the hundreds. Indianapolis
Journal.
Seven dollars FOR room and break
fast? Great Scott! man, that Is awful
ly steep. And awfully HIGH" said the
victim. Yes" admitted the summer
landlord. lit is so high and steep that
[ don't see how | can come down."-In-
dianapolia journal.
\ Game Law In Itself-Gobang-
think I'll do quite little shooting this
summer. | wonder what the close sen
son lisp Buckehot-"Well, In your
"asc. Old man, fancy II you applied to
the Legislature, they'd throw the whole
year open to you."-Truth.
It's surprising how impractical some
very learned men are" Eyes, there's
Prof. Lingwist. for example. He spent
over half his life in acquiring fiuency
IN nine or ten different Languages and
then went and married n wife who
never gives him n chance to get word
I'm edgeways. Truth.
Il happened to remark n little while
ngo, in the presence OF Hiss Fillmore.
that some persons carried their fond
ness for cycling to extreme lengths. I'd
like to know what there was I'm that oh.
servation to cause her TO turn red and
say, SIR " Great Scott! Don't you
| know? She is engaged to young bl.
! cycllst nearly six and half feet high"
Chicago Tribune.
a man had been up for I'm exnmlna.
| ton I'm scripture. had failed utterly and
| the relations between him and the ok
| umincr had become somewhat strained
| The latter asked him IL there were any
text I'm the whole Bible he could quote.
He pOndercd and then repeated: "And
Judas went out and hanged himself. "
us there any other verse you know IN
the Bible" the examiner asked. yes
Go thou and do likewise" There was
solemn pause and the proceedings
Terminated. -Ar-Ounut
whenever you see man visiting n