Cañon City record., 1898-01-06
IoOeesseesSsSssSSS ~ y os'soS = :
KICKING In SINNEMAHONE. f:
Z NOTHING LIKE THAT FEVER EITHER
3 BEFORE OR SINCE.
MIwoNDER If any Of you on this side


MANI" said the man from over Slime
mahoning way. "A strange ailment it
was indeed. Sort of an uncoptrollable.
arrangement of the muscular tissues
of the leg. the doctors called 1t, but it
was known as the kicking fever ofthe
Sinnemahone. ] wonder if any of you
remember it?'
"Naturly, it amt likely that any
body does said the man in the red.
blue. green. pink, yellow and purple
Mackinaw jacket, but any fever that
ever got mixed up with folks on the
Sinnemahone an didn't kick must a
been of setch mild an forgivin' a dis
rosition as TO make it a shame to feed
quinine to it."
"Thanks, Mackinaw," said the man
from over Sinnemahoning way. Your
gentle humor goes far toward dissipat-
ing a certain sadness and tendency to
abstraction and a fit of the blues that
ALWAYS assail me when ] think of that
kicking fever of the Sinnemahone. and
thank you! When I see the fertile
acres of the Jepheniah Biffkins estate
spreading along the Sinnemahoning's
classic bottom and think how they
would now all-be mine but for that
kicking fever ] am prone to sadness.
But you've knocked 'em silly this time,
Mackinaw.
ayes, yes. Those rich Jepheniah
Biffkins acres would now be mine but
for that kicking fever that came to the
| Siunemahone country. These acres
| then belonged to Deacon Judd Peeler,
| and the deacon's daughter Nancy had
| promised TO be my wife, and Nancy was
heir to all the wide Peeler estate. So
when think-but let that pass. 1t is
| all over now.
wherever that most singular all
| ment could have come from no one ever
knew. but it certainly cut wide swath
along the Sinnemahone. was off down
the river when it began its attack, and
consequently / didn't know anything
| about ii until l. got back home a couple
| of weeks later. The first person it struck
| was Uncle Billy Tope. Uncle Billy was
| mild and easygoing citizen that no
one would have thought had any life
| in him at all, aud he was n strict tee
totaler. Consequently you may imagine
| the astonishment of Squire Bunker,
| who owned the sawmill where Uncle
Billy worked, to see the old man com
| ing up the road one day, giving tre-
/ mendous kick every two or three steps
he took sometices to the right and some
times to the left, as if he might have
started out to kick all creation into the
| middle of next week. Squire Bunker
| was scared. and he edged off TO ore side
| of the road as Uncle Billy came along
| kicking and scufling and looking as
wild as an Indian. The squire ventured
to say as the old man was cavorting by:
"'What's up, Wiilam9'
Uncle Billy only shook his head, and
giving kick that didn't miss the
squire's jaw by more thai half All inch.
went on his way toward hou'c. Kicking
as he went
'Astoundingl' exclair .qgire.
4 never thought I'd Ii,o l,,s d ough
to see Uncle Billy Tope turn cut to be a
| drinker!'
"Then the squire stancc srr home.
He hadn't gone hundret 'i : lefore
he began to feel lit,le mGi IL himself.
and the first thing he knew he was
kicking away as upreasonably as Uncle
Billy. He couldn't stop it any more
than he could have stopped his mill race
with a three-ineh plug, The squire
didn't have for to go, and before he
could reach out and open his door he
had kicked it open with a bang, and his
wife came running out of the kitchen to
see what was the matter.
Clear the way, mother.' the squire
hollered. Give me room! Don't get in
my way or I'll make a widower of my
self at one swoop!'
| Il
death, locked herself up in a closet. and
the squire kicked his way out of the
back door and brought up in the garden
where he yelled for some one to come
| and tie him down. or else turn him into
ten-acre LOT where he could have room
"And that's the way that most unac-
countable kicking fever started along
the Sinnemahone. In less than Il week
ii had taken whack at almost every
man, woman and child in that baili-
wick, The kicking was only the pre-
monitory symptom of the fever. After
the victim had kicked high and kicked
low, and to the windward and TO the
leeward, for half an hour or so, the fit
would pass away, but il would come
| back again after awhile. The kicking
| stage of the epidemic lasted two days.
and then the second stage came on.
This was a scorching fever. Sam Belts.
| when he got over his attack. declared
| that his fever was so hot that his wife
had to keep the sheets wet TO prevent
their catching fire, but Sam wasn't a
native of the Sinnemahoning country.
| He was from this side of the mountain
somewhere, and folks didn't believe
him. The fever lasted day. and left
behind it consuming longing for
| something to drink-not water nor
| coffee nor tea nor milk. but rum. rye
apple juice, anything that had tooth
and edge to it, This strange symptom
of the malady was discovered in start
ling way. Dominic Dibble was the first
victim that it developed in. One even
| ing while half a dozen of his flock were
mingling their sorrow with the domin-
les over his affiiction he suddenly
shouted: r
"'Give me rum, Fetch me some
scorching rye or biting gInl'
The brethren and sisters were
shocked, but Dominic Dibblc kept on
hollering for rum. No one made move
10 get him any. and a last he sprang out
of his chnir, rushed out of the house.
and made straight for the tavern like a
man running to fire. BY and by he
came back singing:
Home again, home again,
. From d foreign shore
"He had bottle of rum under his
arm. and the brethren and sisters hur-