The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1898-05-04
HUMOR OF THE DAY.


"What made you go on so about the
moon last night? 1t is the same old
moon" 81 know; but 1 was with a
new girl. Chicago Record.
There! Do you think the photo
graph is like me, Countw Like you.
Ali, Mees Mabel, like ISIS not re word.
1t is lofe you. Brooklyn Life.
Jack-"Yes; ancestors certainly help
to give person social prestige" Tom
-"Especially when they are wealthy
and one lives with them. Life.
so Jack went to the KlondikeP
How is he getting along?" "Not very
well. He writes me that he owes
three thousand dollars for board."-
Truth.
Brief Peace of Mind. CLARA, Hove
to be with you" "Why, Edith?"
"When I'm with you know you are
not gossiping about me. Chicago
Record.
Mrs. Bainbridge-"The girls of to-
day should be taught to say No"
Mrs. Hemphill-"That's what think.
The pert things all say Nit. '"--Har-
per's Bazaar.
The Elder-"So you want to marry
my daughter, eh? l like your nerve.
The Younger-"You ought to sir, I've
been three months working it up
Brooklyn Life.
A poIderous basso having just COM
pleted along solo at an afternoon con-
cert, little girls voice was heard say
ing, Mamma, has the gentleman quite
done gargling?"-Tit-Bits.
She-"There are people who use
religion as a cloak" He-'I know
it" "What will they do in the next
world, do you think?" ooh, they
won't need any cloak there. "
"What is your idea of clever wo-
man who can see the point of joker"
"No; my idea of clever woman is one
who can laugh at joke without seeing
the point. Chicago Record.
81 wonder if it hurts the Kaisers
feelings to hear his grandfather called
William the Great" ooh, no. He
expects that posterity will call him
William the Greater. Truth.
He-"There are at least dozen
women who would be glad to get me
if You were to die" She-'T don't
doubt it. They know l have got you
pretty well trained. ."-Indiauapolis
Journal.
'Do you ride wheel?' she asked.
well, I don't know that would be
exactly justified in claiming that" he
replied, "but now aud then l have
wrestling match with one of them. -
Chicago Evening Post.
Old Farmer "Thats a fine lot of
pigs over there. What do you feed
them?" Amateur-"Why, corn of
course" Old Farmer-'In the carp"
Amateur - Certainly not, in the
mouth. Chicago News.
Bing-"Yes, that's old Spriggings.
Half-a-dozen doctors have given him
up at various times during his life."
Wing-"What was the trouble with
him?" Bing HE wouldn't pay his
bills Boston Traveller.
Mrs. Skinlint-"H "Here is ha'penny
for you, my man; and pray tell how
yol came to be so miserably poor?"
Mendicant -"Ah, mum! / was like
you-too fond of giving large sums of
money to the poor!"-Tit-Bits.
"Why are you so angry, colonel?"
asked Major Covington of Colonel
Bloograss. 'I've been insulted,
maior?" GLOVE" "My wife called
me hydrant-headed monster. =
Pittsburg Chronicle Telegraph.
Ardent Young Frenchman-"Par-
donnez- moi, vat you call zat?" She
"a guitar" He-"Ah, zen 1 was
right. l tell my landlady Eat you do
sing to me viz you garterre on you
knee, and she laugh. Vy?"-Stand-
ard
"Well, sir" said the chief of police
to one of his shrewdest detectives,
''has anyone succeeded in deciphering
that mysterious paper you found on
the suspect" "Yes. 1t was doc
tors prescription. Detroit Free
Press.
Father Ito his nineteen-year
daughter -"And what did You do at
the club to-day, dear?" Daughter
"Oh, papa! we had just the best
time. We spent three hours discus
sing the value of silence in women.
Judge
MAY | ask which of the city's po
litical factions you belong to?" said
the stranger? The boss looked at
him sternly and then responded:
"What you doubtless mean to ask,
sir. is what political faction belongs to
me. Washington Star.
Poet-'I sent poem to a morning
paper last week, Sut for some reason
it has failed to appear. Friend
"Did you enclose stamp" Poet
"Of course not. Friend-"Well,
there's where you made mistake.
Had You done so it would no doubt
! bova anneared in the mail next morn