The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1898-06-23
Sforyeffes.
By CASEY.


One of them who sold freight car roofs
for Detroit house, complained about
having trouble with his firm because
he had only sold one good order in
month.
That's nothing" said Roebling Il
haven't made but one sale in year"
"You don't tell me-" said the De-
troiter. "That must be funny kind
of house you are travelling for. Don't
they kick?"
"Oh, no."
"By the way, what's your line?"
''Suspension bridges"
One of the funniest patent medicine
advertisements l have seen is that of
manufacturer of stomach bitterS who
virtually agrees to cure the green
dragon and the yellow flag of China of
biliousness and yellow jaundice. Just
think what a business these people can
work up among the inhabitants of the
Chinese kingdom who are anxious to
come to the United States. Here is
the adj and we wont charge them
cent for it:
"The standard of the Celestial EN-
pire is very queer looking affair. 1t
represents the most grOtesque of green
dragons on yellow ground. The lat
ter is suggestive not only of the ma
tional complexion, but also that it is a
this unbecOming tint from its COM
pleXion, use HOStetter's Stomach Bit
tiers etc.
When Gray, the poet was student
at Cambridge he had an unaccountable
dread of fire, and always kept rope
ladder in his ROOM It is related that
some of the other students, knowing
his weakness decided to play joke on
him. So one night he was awakened
by yell of fire, saying the stair
way was in flames. Up went Gray's
window and down came the rope lad
der, whereupon he descended dressed
in nightgown and cap, only to land in
barrel of water which had thought
fully been placed there by the boys for
his reception. 1t is said he was cured
OF his dread of fire, but could not for.
give the trick, so he left the college.
He wrote what is considered by many
the most beautiful poem of the Eng
lish language, the "Elegy in Country
Churchyard."
ONO
The Literary Editor was a member
of Browning society, and Casey was
an aspiring reporter. One day Casey
cautiously approached the Literary Ed-
tor and Informed him in confidence
that he had written a poem.
The L. E. looked incredulous, but
Casey produced the work of art, which
was nothing more or less than one of
BrOwning's least known poems, tran
scribed on piece of copy-paper in
Casey's rasping hand.
The L. E. read, and as he did a look
of disgust spread over his features, and
finally he broke out with
CAV, whatell are you talking about?
You dam fool, didn't l always tell you
that you couldn't write poetry. Go
and soak your head
1t was thus Casey lost the friendship
of the Literary Editor and became con-
WINGED that Browning societies are
apocryphal.
1t is related of a great English natu-
ralist that he was once travelling on
train with a medium sized swapping
turtle as his company. When the
guard" discovered this interesting
specimen, he remarked
"Sir, l has to Uniform you has Jaw
hits hagainst the rules to carry dorgs."
"But this is no dorg."
"Well, sir, hits hagainst the rules to
carry CATS
Eyes, but this is no cat"
The guard pondered the matter for
few seconds, and then remarked:
"Well, dorgs is dorgs, and cats is cats,
but hinsecs is hinsecs."
o kO
Eyes," said Casey,"I investigated
spiritualism once. That was many
years ago before my forehead had ex-
tended its territory by annexing the
top of my head. l was good-looking
red-cheeked boy of twenty or so, when
that Unsuitable desire to delve in the
dark mysteries of the whittier caused
me to haunt seances and spend my
good money for sittings.
at was one summer afternoon that
1 had made an appointment with a
medium out on West Madison street.