Mesa free press., 1898-11-11

4 sue NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.
j Ringolski-Poor Grabstein! His vas
a sad death. Cohenstein-Ad der thea
ter, wasn't i'd? Ringolski- Yes, and
perfore der show vas halluf ofer.-
Judge.
A strong yarn: Bizz-So your wife
didn't detect that you had been drink
ing? Fizz-No. The story told took
my own breath away.-New York Jour-
nal.
"Mr. Fizzington Is quite a lingulst,
Isn't he?" II never knew it." "Oh,
yes, he talks three languages" "What
are they?" "Horse, baseball, and golf"
Chicago News.
The Jndge-You admit, then, that
1 you forged Mr.. Millions name to a
number OF checks? The prisoner (air-
ily)-Yes, 1t was my favorite nom de
plume.-Puck.
Il understand they wouldn't have
Joey in the regiment" ''No. His heart
beat so fast they decided he couldn't
run a mile without collapsing. g."-Cleve-
land Plain Dealer.
Louise-Tve fixed Kitty so she will
answer by letter at once. Belle-What
did you do? Louise-I wrote her q
lot of gossip, and forgot to send the
middle pages.-Puck.
Mrs. G. Smythe Gotrox (graciously)-
This portrait will make your reputa-
ton In this country, am sure, m'sieul
NJ. Coldini (gallantly yours, also,
trust, madame!LLife
He-They can photograph the voice
now. She Goodness, hope I'll never
live to see picture of the things you
say when your collar button drops
down your back.-Art in Dress.
Miss Scott-Yes; she has been say
Ing all manner of wicked things about
me. Friend You should not heed her,
dear. She merely repeats what other
people say.-Current Literature.
"You had better not so boating with
sister" said Tommy to his sisters beau.
why not, TommyY "'Cause 1 heard
her say she intended to throw you over
board soon. st. Louis Humorist.
Don't you think" said the young
man, "that literature Is in a state of
decline?" 'Unquestionably, replied
the other; it's in chronic state of de-
cline-with thanks. s."-Washington Star.
Jiggs-What is your opinion of Jones7
Biggs-He seems to think what he
thinks he knows he knows, but / know
he knows what he knows he thinks
he knows is false. See?-New York
News.
He-If should kiss you, what would
you do? She (startled)-I never meas
ure an emergency until it arises. He
II this emergency arose now, how
would you meet it? She (courageously)
Face to face.-Tit-B
May-Oh, Harry, they have the most
beautiful little lockets at Stiffanys,
with shamrocks set in them. Harry
Yes, May, but wouldn't you rather wait
little while and get one with, a real
stone?-Jewelers Weekly.
A delicate operation: DR.. Pills-Yes,
old Milyuns was on the verge Of ner-
vous prostration, all through worrying
about his money. DR.. Squills-How did
you cure him? DR.. Pills-I removed
the cause of the trouble.-Life.
Edwin-You would not take that un-
Gle Of mine TO be a sensitive plant at all,
would you? Reginald-He certainly
does not look it. Edwin-Well, he is. At
tempt to touch him, and he closes up
/ immediately Enquirer.
II observe in the public prints" said
| the scientific boarder, "that a whales
tongue sometimes yields a ton of OIL"
"If the whale is as oily-tongued as
that" said the cheerful idiot, mo won-
der Jonah was taken n."-Indianapo-
lis Journal.
"Ah," said the convict hopelessly, ''if
we could only have some Of the outside
beneftsv' ''What would you most pre-
fer, my good manw inquired the visi-
tor. "Well, sir, between you and me.
/ think could be happy with chain
less wheel. Judge.
Harry" said Mrs. Tredway to her
husband at the breakfast table, II am
quite out of money, and want to spend
the day shopping. Let me have sixty
cents" what doyou want sixty cents
for?' ''Ten cents for carfare and fifty
cents for luncheon Y'-Dazar.
Maud-If that young Spoonamore had
been coming to see me as persistently
as he's been coming to see you. I'd have
made him declare himself long before
this time. Irene-Yes, dear. presume
that's the reason why he never went
to see you.- Chicago Tribune.
you've talked enough now, Katie"
said her mother; children should be
seen and not heard" "You heard what
mother said," protested Katie an hour
or two later, when the nurse was try
ing to persuade her it was time to. go
to bed; "children should be serene and