Mesa free press., 1898-11-04
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est in his Job nowadays" "And for
why?" "He calls his morning deliv-
cries roll-calls. ls."-Indianapolis Journal.
/ He-Have you heard Of this new cure
for nervous prostration? The patient
is not allowed to talk. She-Td Just
as soon die from prostration as exas~
peration.
Languid Lawrence-"Dis paper says
somet'in' about de soldiers bein' bath
ed in blood" Toyle Knott-"Well.
blood amt water, tank heaven."-
Town Topics.
"Have you finished plowing the ten
acre LOTT" asked Farmer Richland of
his son. "Yes," ''Then you may now
attend to the narrowing details."-
Pittsburg Chronicle.
Little Elmer-"Pa, what is an ex-
temporaneous speakerT' Professor
Broadhead-"One who can talk fluent
ly about nothing without any previous
preparation. Puck.
Talking about neckties," gayly re-
marked the Western sheriff, as he
! deftly arranged the moose, "here's
something that is perfectly killing
Indianapolis Journal.
| Mrs. Wilkins you used to
say you loved the ground walked on
Mr.. Wilikins-Yes, I know did. Your
father owned all the land in that vi
cinity.-Chicago Tribune
"A good example: She-"Did you
ever see any rapid firingY He-"Yes;
I was in Washington when the Span
ish minister and attaches were sent
home."-Chicago Tribune.
| Mr.. Bunting-Young Grimby is going
to marry old Miss Brodakers. Mrs
Bunting (astonished)-F the lands
sake! Mr.. .Bunting-Partly, and partly
! for her bank account.-Puck.
She (engaged to an Englishman)
Yes, New York is very well, but New
Workers are raw. He Jealous of the
Englishman)-But they get well done
when they go abroad.-Collier's Week
ly.
Bi1die-Where do you expect to spend
the SKINNER? Aice-Right here at
home. Since tie war broke out, you
see, I have learned that most Of the
| gentlemen know can't possibly get
away.
"Just think Of Chicago being for
four days without newspaper" said
pened," said Binks; ''it's a canard to
make the city appear attractive to
residents. ."-Bazar.
Mamma-"What are you doing all
day, Marie?" Marie" Scratching
matches" Mamma -"What do you
mean by thaty' Marie" -"Blue-pen-
CLING my list of fances as they march
to the front. Town Topics.
Jeweler-"What shall l engrave in
it" Customer-''G. o. to III. L." Jew
eler (hotly)- -'What's that, sir?" Gus
toner Cmeekly)-"G George Osborne to
Harriet Lewis-but just the initials,
please. jewelers. Weekly.
Dopie Dinglebery-De fact dat bread
hez gone up in price an de loaves is
smaller, establishes de contrariest kind
Of a paradox. Sliyers Sullivan-W'ot is
/ it? Dopie Dinglebery-Peopleh hev got
ter give up more dough to git less.-
Puck.
Mr.. Wheeler-The boys are going to
form military company; could you
suggest name which would show that
we are bicycle riders? Mr.. Waller (cyn-
ically)-Well, you might call yourselves
"The Mud Guards. Sheffield Tele-
graph.
1--WE have parted" said the girl with
the high brow. "You don't mean itT'
"Yes; it had to be. He developed a
fippancy 1 had never before suspect,
ed. He spoke of-of-er-the author Of
Quo Vadis' as 'Snickelfritz.' Gin
cinnati Enquirer.
Mrs. Brown see in the paper that
they won't allow any man to enlist who
can't read and write the English Ian
| guage. Mr.. Brown-Write the English
language? Gracious! Are they only
! going to take college professors and q
few literary men?-Rarper's Bazar.
"My DEAR" asked the mother Of her
! eldest daughter, VINO was reading war
news aloud, "why don't you finish that
account of the battle as given by Cap
tain EvansY when he said that
every man on his ship was engaged, I
ceased to be Interested" d."-Detroit Free
Press
Little Nellie, the f1ve-year-old daugh-
ter Of clergyman, had been listening
attentively to a Bible story. ''Now,
Nellie" asked her mamma, "can you
tell me what we must do before we can
expect our sins to be forgivenY'
"CourselI can," she replied; we've
got to sin first."-Chicago News.
at is a pretty name," the impress.
sionable traveller murmured; "but tell
me, why do they call you ManitaY'
4 There was an arch smile on the saw
| Pon Eu;1 1ryO hn