Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1898-11-18
VIVA r,oLsY SAYS.
TO the Personnel Of the Present United
States Army.

-
States Army.
II 'well, SIR" said Mr.. Dooley. 'T didn't
" r Mack but I'm with him now.
ne ITS whether he was tn
er-i- est military JANUS iv tn cinch-
~, but they'se no question about II.
We whit into this war with ould Spain
with about tn most fash nable ARMY
that liver creased its pants. Twas
daily hint firm Paris to tn crool foe.
] Other gin'rals iv tn r-rough-house
Kind. like Napoleon Bonypart, tn i'm
.proa iv tn Frinch. Gip'ral Ulis s.
Grant, an Cousin George Dooley, hired
coarse. rude men that wudden't know
IN difference between goluf an crokay,
en' had their pants tucked In thier
boots an chewed tobacco be tn pound.
yhank hivin Mckinley knows betther
thin to sind tn likes iy thin abroad to
ehock our frinds be dumpin their cof-
Zee into thimsilves firm a saucer.
9TH dure bell rings an futman in
pv'ry says I'm Master Willie Doosel-
Dery's man an he's come to be ex-
amined f'r tn ARMY says he Admit
him. says Mckinley, Ia Master Willie
pnters, accompanied be his valley, his
NAH an pah an tn comfy iv tn goluf
Club. Willie says the President, we
ARE inthering upon a gloryous career,
an tits NECESSARY that We shud be thruly
examined so that ye can teach tn
elories iv civilization to tn tyr-ranies
" Europe that is supported be ye-er
pah an mah,' he says. ''Twud be
tnrr'ble thing he says, "if some day
they shud meet a Spanish gin'ral in
Mahdrid an have him say to thin: L
seen ye'er son Willie durin' tn war
wearin' stovepipe bat an tan shoes
Let us begin tn examination he
says. ARE We a good goluf player?'
I am says Willie. Thin / appint We a
liftenant. What we needin' tn army is
good goluf players he says In our
former war he says, we had tn mis-
fortune to have men in command that
didn't know tn difference between a
goluf an a beecycle. an what was tn
raysult? We fooz.ed our approach at
Bull R-run,' he says. ARE we a MINI
Der Nv amy clubs?' he says. Four
says Willie. Thin make we a major
he says. Where dye get ye'er pants?
he says. Firm England, says Willie.
'Gloryous,' says Mckinley, make we a
colonel, he says. Let me thry We in
tactics, he says. Suppose ye was con-
| fronted be a Spanish ARMY in tn
afternoon, how wud we dhrefs?' he
says. I'd wear n stovepip hat, a long
coat, white vest an lavender pants
says Willie. An If tn attack was be
night?' he says. L put on me dhress
shoot an go out to meet thim, says
Willie. A thuro so;er.' says Mckinley.
Suppose tn sociable lasted all night?
he says, I'D sound tn retreat at day.
break an have me brave boys change
back he says, to suitable appar'l' he
says. Mastery says Mckinley. L will
sind ye'er name in as a brigadier-gin'-
rail-" he says. BE Thankful, tn r'rich,'
he says. is brave an pathriotic.' he
says. 'Ye will jine tn other boys firm
tn club at Tampa he says. 'Ye shud
be careful iv ye'er equipment he says.
L hav almost iv'rything r-ready,' says
Willie. Me man attinded to thin de-
tails he says. But fear l can't go TO
tn front immejetly, he says. Me
pink silk shirts hasn't arrived he
says. Well says Mack, wait FIR Thin
BILE war, he says, which has cost me
NANNY a sleepy night he says, but
'twud be crime f'r to sind a sojer I'M
prepared to battle he says. Wait f'r
tn silk Shirts he says. 'Thin on to
war; he says, and let ye'er watch
word be: 'Raymimher ye'er manners
| he SAYS.
"They'se man out here SAYS tn
privit sicrity, that wants to see ye.' he
says. He's r'rough-lookin' charack
ter that was in the 500 war, he saws.
His name is Gin'ral Fiteum, he saws.
Throw tn man out says Mack. Il
seen him in Pennsylvania avnoe YES
terdah. r'ridin' in a street ca-ar.' he
says. All, Willie, me boy he saws.
tbs little We know what troubles I
have firm these vulgar sojers with
pants that bag at tn knees. Give me a
goold-tipped cigareet and tell me
whether shirt waists is much worn in
New York this year.
"fis, Hinnissy, we pat tn fastest
ARMY in tn field that liver come ont
Nv a millinery shop Right dhress,'
was an ordher that meant some
thin TIL ARMY was followed be
SPECIAL correspondents firm Buttb-
rick's Pattheerns an Harper's Bazaar.
an If our brave boys don't gore an
pleat tn inimy twill be because til.
inimy'll be r'rude enough to school in
amy kind iv clothes they find on IN
chair whin they wake up."-Chicae go
Journal