davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1898-01-01
TIE COURT JESTER.
A Practical Joke That VIII sommers
Played on Cardinal woIsey.

Played on Cardinal WoIsey.
Amelia Wofford tells Of 1.-THE Court
testers Of England in St. Nicholas
The following is related Of King Henry
Wits jester:
Sommers, like Scogan, liked a prac-
tical joke, and one that he played on
Cardinal Wolsey is thus quantity told
by Armin:
"Of a time appointed the king dined
at Windsor. in the Chapel yard at Car
dinall Wolsey's at the same time when
he was building that admirable work
Of his tombe, at whose gate stood a
number Of poore people, to be served
with aims when dinner was done with
in, and as Win passed by they saluted
him, taking him for a worthy person
age, which pleased him. In he comes,
and finding the king at dinner and the
CARDINAL by attending, to disgrace him
that he never loved, Harry, sayes hee,
lend me go. What to doe? sales the
king. TO pay three or foure Of the car
dinalls creditors, quoth hee, to whom
my word is past, and they are now come
"
quoth hee. Creditors Of mine? sales the
CARDINAL. lie give your grace my head
if any man can justly aske me a penny.
No, sales Will. Lend me $40. If pay
it not where thou owest it, lie give thee
eco for it. Doe so, sales the king That
l will, my liege, sales thee CARDINAL,
though owe none. With that he lends
Will e10. Will goes to the gate, dis
tributes it to the poore and brought the
empty bag. There is thy bag againe,
safes bee., Thy creditors are satisfied,
and my Word out of danger. Who re-
ceiyed, sales sthe king, the brewer or
the baker? Neyther, Harry, safes Will
Sommers. But, CARDINAL, answer me in
one thing, TO whom dost thou owe thy
soule? To God, quoth hee. To whom
thy wealth? To the poore, safes hee.
Take thy forfeit, Harry, safes the foole.
Open confession, open pennance His
head is thine, for to the poore at the
gate paid his debt which hee yields
is due, or if thy stony heart will not
yield it so, save thy head by denying
thy word and lend it NEE, Thou know
est ann poore and have neyther wealth
nor wit, and what thou lendest to the
poore God will pay thee tenfold. =
The king Taught at the jest, and so did
the CARDINAL for shew, but it grieyed
him to jest away e10 so.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1898-01-01

"As GOOD A UNION SOLDIER AS EVER
the Confederacy for Yankee prisoner
who had been in the southern lines but
one month. Besides, the memorandum
about DIR. Lumpkins was carefully con-
cealed, plainly showing that it was not
the innocent affair he wished it to ap-
pear to be.
Rams fate was as mysterious as his
advent He was placed under guard up
on suspicion of being a spy and in order
to save his neck finally confessed that
he was such. That is the last official
record Of him. Two days later the army
began its march to James river, and
the boy disappeared from view. The war
department records files show nothing
beyond Colonel Farnsworth' 5 and De-
tective Pinkerton's reports; the head
quarters papers Of the army and the
military records of Maryland nothing.
General Porter thinks that he escaped
by collision with his guard while on
the march to the James,
GEORGE l.. KII.NIER.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1898-01-01

When the young man called to ask
for the old mans daughter, the latter
naturally thought it was necessary to
put up good bluff, that being the usu-
al method of procedure. Consequently
he looked solemn, coughed once or twice
as sort of preliminary communed with
himself a minute or two, coughed again
and asked:
"Can you support her in the style to
which she has been accustomed"
IF couldn't, returned the young
man promptly, II ought to be ashamed
of myself. :"
The old mans bluff was called. Chi
cago Post.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1898-01-01
DON'T TALK OF YOUR ILLS
People Are More Interested In the Pleas
ant Side of Life.

People Are More Interested In the Pleas
ant Side of Life.
every one of us has his and her
own ailments, writes Edward w. Box
in The Ladies' Home Journal, decrying
of discussing their bodily ills 1T is
enough for us all to keep well ourselves.
To be compelled to listen to the all
ments of others does not make that task
any easier Besides all this, these I'M
necessary narratives of personal all
ments are positively injurious to our
selves Physicians all agree that many
of the slight illnesses, of which some
people make so much, could be cured ii
they would but take their minds from
themselves. Too many people work
themselves into illnesses or prevent
themselves from getting we'll by talking
about a petty ailment which, if forgot
ten, would right itself.
II will not say that women, more
than men, are prone to this evil, but
as the majority of women have more
leisure than the majority of men they
are more likely to let their minds dwell
upon every little i'll that assails them
and talk about it. 1t seems to me that
one of the most important lessons we
can all learn with the close of the year
is to refrain from infiicting upon others
what is purely personal to ourselves.
Let us cease this tiresome, this incon-
siderate, this unnecessary talk about our
ailments. Cold and hard as it may
seem, the fact is nevertheless true, and
will ever remain so, that the vast ma
jority of people are interested in what
is pleasant in our lives, but not in what
is unpleasant Pains and sorrows are
elements in our lives which are sacred
and interesting only to ourselves. "
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1898-01-01

Smoking in Germany is not pas
time. 1t is an art, and an art that has
grouped about it a respectable number
of industries. Every smoker carries a
cigar case, cigar clipper, matchbox
and usually little leather box for the
cigar tips The tips are collected by a
society organized for the purpose in
each province and are sold to the manu-
faeturer for the benefit of charitable in
stitntions
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1898-01-01
Futal to Children.

At a certain stage of childhood
worms are the greatest menacers OF
child life. To kill worms ana not eX
pei them is still more dangerous
Magic Worm Tablets both kill and
expel worms Children eat them as
readily as candy. They yell for
them. Price IS cents. Magic Rem
edy CO., Glen Rock, Pa,
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1898-01-01

AR histories, Of
fetal and other
wise, have failed
to explain the
fact that when
Lee and Stone
W a IL jackson
united their col
uInns north of
r ic h m on d to
overwhelm the
Army Of the Po-
t 0 m a @ they
found the enemy
~ - n a. ., 80 l.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1898-01-01
A Wonderful Bridge.

In the Forth bridge there is a hori-
zontal pull of 10000 tons on the chief
spans and a weight Of 100, 900 tons ON
their bases, Half dozen British iron
clads might be hung upon them without
causing any undue strain.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1898-01-01

up the case as hopeless. When in
formed that my father had died from
the same disease, they said l must die,
as hereditary Cancer was incurable.
"At this crisis, was advised to try
S.S.S., and in a short while the Cancer
began to discharge and continued to do
so for three months, then it began to
heal. continued the medicine a while
longer until the Cancer disappe AIRED en-
tirely. This was several years ago and
there las been no return of the disease"
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1898-01-01

Mrs. Antonio Delay, of Orange, n
J., has presented her husband with
twenty. eight children in eighteen
years. The Denver Post says that
this is another confirmation of the old
saw that delays are dangerous.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1898-01-01

Montana is to have the largest foun-
tain in the world 1t will throw
solid jet Of water three inches in d.
ametre to perpendicular height of
22o feet This announcement is
enough to send a shudder clear through
the State of Kentucky
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1898-01-01
Cancer
OF the Face.

Mrs. Laura E. Minis, of Dawson, Ca,
says: "a small pimple Of strawberry
color appeared on my cheek; it soon
began to grow rapidly, notwithstand-
ing all efforts to check it. NV
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1898-01-01

eye became terribly
inflamed, and was so
swollen that for quite
a while / could not
see. The doctors
said l had Cancer of
the most malignant
type, and after ex-
hausting their efforts
without doing me
any good, they gave
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1898-01-01
Everybody SAYS So.

Cascarets Candy Cathartc, the most Won
derful medical discover of the age, pleas
ant and refreshing TO the taste, act gently
and positively on kidneys, liver and bowels,
cleansing the entire system, dispel colds,
cure headache, fever, habituai 60 stipation
and biiousness. Please buy and try box
of &. G. G. to-day; 10, %. 30 cents. Sold and
guaranteed to cure by all druggists.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1898-01-01

Educate Your Bowels with Cascarets.
Candy Cathartic, cure constipation forever
Toe. 25c. II e. @. @. fail, druggists refund money
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1898-01-01
A BOY SPY MYSTERY.
M'cLELLAN'5 WARNING OF JACKSON's
FLANK MARCH TO RICHMOND.

A Mere Boy, Well Posted About Jack
sons Forces, Struggled Into the Federal
Lines just Day Ahead Of JacIssons
Coming Story Of Adventure.
copyright, 1897 by American Press Asso-
citation. Book rights reserved1
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1898-03-11
Republican Caucus.

The Republicans of Alma met III eau
Gus Monday night to nominate Repub-
lican ticket and was one of the largest
caucuses ever held in Alma and was one
OF the most enthusiastic, and put up one
of the best tickets ever nominated. The
caucus was called TO order by Q. f.
Brown; DR.. f. A Bagley was called to
the chair, G. f. Brown chosen as secre-
tary and V. Nj. Wilson and w. &. Clark
as tellers The following is the ticket
as nominated:
President-Stephen w. Tinker.
William w. Kinch.
William j. Gargett.
AssesSor--Nirgil VI. Wilson.
Trustees-Ely Brewbaker, Edward
Hannah, Amos w. Beckner.
onstable-George w. Willard.
The following republican village COM
mittee was appointed by the chair L.
A. Ely Bert W oodward and John Glass.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1898-03-11
ACRES OF PINK POND LILIES.
Floral Display That Delights Con-
ncctlcut hallway Travellers.

One Of the most beautiful floral ex-
hibits in New England is upon Tad
pole" famous pond lily pond on the
line of the Norwich d Worcester rail
road, one mile above Jewett City, Conn.
The surface of the pond is now a mass
of pink and white pond lilies, and their
fragrance is carried for miles by the
summer winds, says the New York
Sun.
No one knows how long this remark
able garden of pond lilies has been in
existence, but for many years Tad
poles lilies have been sought by picnic
parties from nearby counties in this
state, Massachusetts, and Rhode Island.
Carloads of the flowers are carried
away, but there seems to be no diminu-
ton in the supply.
The railroad comes suddenly upon
the pond, which it divides in halves, and
in an instant the passengers detect the
fragrance Of the lilies and throw up
the windows, the better to view the
beautiful and unusual sight. In one
section Of Tadpole there is large tract
of Lilies the blossoms of which are of
so rich a pink as to be almost rose
colored, it is said. They are of exceed
ingly rare beauty and are much sought
after by collectors.
Tadpoles unromantic name comes
from its being a favorite place for
young frogs. 1t has been known by
this title for years, but an effort is now
making to change its name to the still
more unromantic one of Clayville
pond.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1898-03-11

Though In New York They Had Lived
for Years In tho Same House.

Though In New York They Had Lived
for Years I'm tho Same House.
ut Is a familiar saying" said New
Yorker, as reported by the Sun, "that
people may live next door to each other
IN New York and never know each other
at all, and it's quite true; and the same
Is true also of people living in even
closer proximity in fats. l have lived
for years in fiat and have never known
even by sight the people living above or
below me. In the case of iathouse,
however, you are pretty sure to learn
the names of the tenants. You hear
them spoken in the elevator shaft by the
grocer and the butcher, or you may see
them yourself on the letter boxes in the
vestibule of the building; but that in
most cases would be as far as your ac-
quaintance would proceed. 1 did once
become acquainted with my neighbor In
the floor below, but 1t was by chance,
and In Yokohama.
"'Your name is familiar said to
him.
land yours to me- said he; and
when we came to compare notes we
found that they had become so through
the names on the letter boxes In the
fathouse at eleven hundred and 'leven-
ty-leven West 'Leventy-'leventh street,
New York, where we both lived.
For years we had lived only IL feet
apart, but we became acquainted 10000
miles away"
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1898-03-11
Once Had Earth q u skies.

Southern Scotland and northern Eng
land are visited by mueutudes OF
strangers each year, and many get as
far as the Western Isles. Few Of them
however, are reminded of volcanic phe-
nomena, though colunnar ba salts, such
as those of Fingars cave, may some
times suggest the thought of lava. Yet
for long periods of time IN the far
past this region has. covered with
volcanoes like Hecla, and lava sheets
like those of the Snake river. japan
is not more plagued with earthquakes
than England has been, and the quiet
little island has had its Kra.k otoas. 1t
may have them again, but there LIS no
Immediate danger
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1898-03-11
A HARVARD Phenomenon.

Tire changed conditions of modern So
ciety- seem to have struck some Of the
lower~orders Of animal life. The report
comes from the national military home
at Marion, Ind, that "a common
Shanghai rooster has taken it upon
himself to hatch out a brood of chicks
and act as mother and protector to
them. He set on a nest of eggs the
requisite three weeks and Matched out
the fluffy chicks in regular fashion, and
Cow he seems to be very proud of his
accomplishment. He fondles and pro-
tec1s them after the fashion of loving
an6 Jealous mother. The story of this
{ weer'rooster's peculiar act has brought
n ,nny people to the barns to observe the
b unNeud phenomenon"
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1898-03-11
PLANS TO SURPRISE THE WORLD
Germany Preparing Dazzling Ca
hibit for the Paris Exposition.


The German government has in
course of preparation an exhibit for
the Paris exposition of 1900 which is
expected TO surpass anything of the
kind ever attempted by any nation
This statement is made by Consul-Gen-
eral Mason, of Frankfort. Germany, in
a report which reached the state depart
ment the other day.
at is intended" Mr.. Mason says,
"that the exhibit shall be com plete.
harmonious picture of the resources and
industries Of Germany, down to the
latest date. Everything is to be col.
lected at home, assorted, adjudged,
classified and its position assigned by
an imperial commission, so that dupI-
Gates and everything trivial and inferior
to the best shall be excluded and the
whole display presented in its most
striking and effective form.
The exhibit promises 10 be even q
greater surprise than was Germany's
at Chicago in 1898, and it will be made
and managed for the express purpose
of showing the merchants of all civil
lied nations what Germany has to sell"
Mr.. Mason reports that Germany In
doing everything possible to extend her
commerce, having recently sent COM
missions TO China and Japan and South
America for this purpose. Her trade
with the United States is being fos-
tered as much as possible and he pre-
,9icts that Germany will continue to
ollow this policy in the hope of eventu-
al " being the greatest CONNIE rcial pow
er of the world.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1898-03-11
NATURES OWN PROTECTION.
Explanation of Why "a Swelling Fol-
lows from a blow.


lows from Blow.
The swelling which follows from a
blow is natures effort to protect the
part from further injury and to keep
1t at rest while repair is going on, says
the Philadelphia Times. What actually
takes place at the seat of injury is not
even now quite understood. The in
jury to the smaller blood vessels inter
feres with the flow of blood through
them and the white corpuscles, with
part of the serum, the watering part OF
the blood, escape into the surrounding
tissues. At the same time the blood yes
sells in the neighborhood dilate and the
increased flow of blood with the
thoroughfare INSTRUCTED increases the
swelling.
1t is probable that the white corpus
cles of the blood pass into the tissues
to assist in the repair as bees or ants
assemble at an injury to their store
house, but with this difference, that the
substance of the corpuscles is probably
converted into the tissue Of repair.
From one point of view the human body
is only one gigantic colony Of individ-
uals, and the swelling that follows in
Jury but the rush of these tosrepair the
breach.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1898-03-11

\ meeting was held in st. Louis last
Monday night for the purpose of organ
ling a County Republican Club A
temporary organization was formed and
a meeting has been called at Ithaca
Friday, March IS. at 700 p. m for the
p Irpose of making a permanent organ
i2ation. 1t is expected that Grant Eel
lows, president of the State Republican
League will address the meeting, and
al are invited to attend.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1898-03-11
A $4,000. 1000 Appropriation.

In spirit of patriotism with eloquent
words ringing in their ears every mem
Der of the house of representatives Tues
day responded to the presidents first
call to meet the Spanish situation by
casting his vote for a bill placing in
President McKinley's hands fifty
millions Of dollars TO be expended at his
discretion for the national defence.
Party lines We're swept away and with
a unanimous voice congress voted its
confidence in the administration. Many
members who We're paired with absent
colleagues took the responsibility of
breaking their pairs, an unprecedented
thing in legislative annals, in order that
they might go on record in support of
this vast appropriation to maintain the
dignity and honor of their country,
Speaker Reed who, as the presiding
officer, seldom votes, only in case of
tie, had his name called and voted in
his capacity of representative. The
scene of enthusiasm which greeted the
announcement of the vote-ayes, 81
nays, none-has seldom been paralleled
in the house.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1898-03-11

The success that has attain ed the use
of DR.. J. II. McLean's Volcanic Oil
Liniment in the relif of pain and in
curing diseases which seemed beyond
the reach of medicine, has be en- truly
remarkable. Hundreds suppo sed TO be
crippled for life, with ari ms or legs
drawn up, crooked or dist orte d, their
muscles contracted by disease, ha We been
cured through the use of this remedy.
Price CSC, soc and SI.oo bottle. For
by B. s. WEBB.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1898-03-11
HOW SHE FIXED HIM.
One Way of DisDOsing of an ObnSx
fsus Suitor.

fsus suitor.
He was Theatre lover, and she didn't
like his style a little bit, says the New
York Sun.
He was constant in his devotion,
however, and that made matters worse
She had tried gentle means to get
rid Of him, but he had disregarded
them with painful persistency.
In this moment of her desperation
he felt it incumbent upon him to pro-
pose TO her as men under similar cir
cumstances so often do.
Which they wouldn't if they had any
sense at all.
Dear one" he exclaimed, hurting
himself tragically at her feet, II love
you. My life is yours. Will you take
it?'
She did not look like a murderess.
"Mr. Singleton" she responded, with
calm determination, IL will"
lie gazed at her rapturously.
Don't do that" she begged, draw
ing back from him as il in horror. ~
have taken your life, as you requested
me to do, and you are henceforth to all
intents and purposes dead"
lie seemed dazed.
II do not, Mr.. Singleton" she con-
tinued, turning aside, desire to have
a dead person in the house, and If you
do not go away at once shall ring for
an ambulance and have you removed
to the morgue."
Then the dreadful situation in which
his own precipitate folly had placed
him was revealed, and he removed him
self with promptness and dispatch.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1898-03-11
Shake Yourto Slnoas

Aliens Foot-Ease, a pow, Ter for the
feet 1t cures painful, swollen, smart
ing feet and instantly taxi IS the sting
out of corns and bunions. Its the great
est comfort discovery of the age. Allen :
Foot-Ease makes tight-ft ting or new
shoes feel easy. 1t is Gel tain cure for
sweating, callous and hot. tired, aching
rect. Try 1t to-day. Sold by all druggist:
and shoe stores. BY aail for 25c in
stamps: Trial packaf .e FREE. Ad-
dress, Allen ). Olmsted, lie hoy, n. Y.
956-4m
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1898-03-11

Governor Pingree has at last called
the long talked Of special session of the
Legislature. Taxation of railroads, tele-
graph and telephone companies is the
subject TO be considered. It is thought
by the governor that such legislation
can be passed.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1898-03-11
Election Notice

Notice is hereby given that the regular
Annual Village Election of the Village OF Aim A,
Mich will be held i'm the Pollasky building. on
State street. I'm said village, on Monday,
March a. 1895, at which time the following
officers are to be elected One Village Clerk,
one Village Treasurer, three Trustees for two
years and one Assessor. The polls OF said
e ection will be opened AT seven o'clock a. IN ,
or as soon thereafter as may be, and will re.
n ain open until five o'clock OF said day. Dated
Il is "a day of February, A. d., 1898.
By order of Election Inspectors of said illage.
EARL G. TORREY. Clerk.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1898-03-11
PRESBYTERIAN.
He Was a Printer

Owosso, Mich, March 2, 1895
G.. A. Hildreth, ITO South Shiawassee
street, this city, formerly we'll known
printer and now engaged as telegraph
operator, states that he depends upon
+ pods Sarsaparilla to purify his blood
in the spring and build him up for the
trying summer months. II has cured
HIN of dyspepsia and the effects of the
grip and made him healthy man.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1898-03-11
Mnnnersin Sweden.

In Sweden, if you address the poorest
pc rson on the street, you must lift your
hat. The same courtesy is insisted
upon IL you pass lady on the stair
way. To enter readiug-room or a
bank with ones hat on Is regarded as
impolite.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1898-03-11
strange Religious Service.

A queer polyglot religious service was
held at the Seaman's Bethel at Douglas
on the Isle Of Man. The Gospel was read
In Gaelic, hymn sung in Marx, prayer
offered in Welsh and the sermon deliv-
cred in English. On the previous Sun
day the Lords Prayer was sal d in Corn
hh a language the last So eaker of
which died In the early yes RS Of this
century.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1898-03-11
Great Oaks

From little acorns grow, so also do
fatal diseases spring from small begin
nings. Never neglect symptoms of
kidney troubles; if allowed to develop
they cause much suffering and sorrow
DR.. II. McLean's Liver and Kidney
Balm is certain cure for any disease
or weakness of the kidneys. A trial
will convince you of its great potency.
Price sr.oo bottle. For sale by B. S.
WRRR