Kansas City journal. [volume] (Kansas City, Mo.) 1897-1928, 1898-09-09
SOME AMUSING BULLS.
Those Perpetrnted by MIR. Gladstone
and Other British States
men.

From Tid-Bits.
Mr.. Gladstone was the author of one of
the most amusing bulls ever heard in the
British house of commons. In the course
of q speech he imputed TO a member an in
tention which the honorable gentleman re-
ferred TO denied by shake of the head.
mo, no." exclaimed Mr.. Gladstone; lit
is no use for the honorable member TO
shake his head in the teeth of his own
Words
A short time ago Mr.. a. J. BaIfour in
dulged in another very idughable incon-
gruity of expression. Some OF the Scotch
members urged that they should be allowed
time 10 discuss bill in which they We're
interested, and Mr.. Balfour, in reply, COM
mented on the fact that Scottish debates
We're carried on, as rule. in a thin house,
which he described as IAN empty theater
of unsympathetic auditors
Lord Randolph Churchill, on one occa-
sion spoke OF a sum of money which was
under discussion as "a mere fieabite in the
ocean of our expenditure" and 1t was only
recently that a Welsh member concluded
n categorical denial of statement which
had been made in the course of a debate by
saying, 1T gives me great pleasure TO have
nailed that lie to the mast"
A prominent Conservative member who
represents constituency in Ulster, speak
ing on a bill which proposed to extend the
franchise of Ireland. said: You should re-
frain from throwing open the fioodgates of
democracy lest you should pave the way
for general confiagration."
This amusing specimen of mixed meta
phOr was equaled. IL not eXcelled by the
late Sir Patrick OBrien, who had wide
reputation maker of bulls, when he
described the author of a certain political
pamphlet as IAN understrapper: mere po-
litical fly, who IS acting the part OF snake
in the grass. backstairs assassion of the
people who has the audacity to appear be-
fore them in the light of day and stealthily
stab them in the back.
Happily for the gayety of the house of
commons. the race OF Irish bulls will
never be entirely run. During the discus
sion in committee on the Irish local gov
ernment bill few weeks ago an Irish mem-
Der spoke of Mr.. Balfour as being iron
bound In red tape"
A ready retort Is also highly appreciated
at st: Stephens. The happiest and most
crushing ever heard was given about ten
years ago. In the course of a rather acri-
monious political debate an honorable mem
ber taunted some of his opponents on the
other side of the house with their want of
knowledge. AT least We are not stupid"
Can that be said of the honorable gen
tleman? For my part l do not believe he
could say boo TO a goose
The member at whom this taunt was cast
Immediately sprang TO his feet and in !
loud voice shouted Boo, boo!''
British legislators do not even stop at
practical jokes to relieve the tedium OF
making laws. Some years ago there was In
the house an Irish member of considerable
wealth. but negligent in his dress, his hat
especially being of a very ancient date.
One night he met the chief secretary for
Ireland III the lobby and said: II have
got new hat; here II Is: l hope you APP
prove OF it,"
1T is a very nice hat. indeed" said the
chief secretary. but 1 don't know why
you should ask my approval of it,
Didn't you send me this note on the
subject? asked the member and to the
chief secretary's amaZement he produced
a note which purported to be written by
him on the official note paper of the Irish
office.
The writer expressed the hope that lie
would be excused for stepping beyond
the privileges OF ordinary acquaintance to
suggest in the strictest confidence to the
honorable member that his hat was not ex-
actly what gentleman of his position and
wealth ought to wear.