New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1898-05-15
THE TALK or THE DAY.

A newspaper correspondent, at the battle Of At
| bare tells a good story nhcut a couple OF Scotch
| men He was walking softly about the camp
| "a not 20 disturb the slespers on the neht before
| the fight. when Ne overheard "A sentimental Sea
| forth Highlander say 70 Il cOurade: AL Tam,
how many thousands there are NJ harne across the
| sea thinking MS the nicht." Right. Sandy" re-
| Piled hts chum. "and how many millions there
! that don't caro- Go - sleep you fool
Ard silence again fell upon that corner OF the
| square.
johnny, Johnny didn't ask you once to stop
wh.sung at the table"
''well do you want me to ask you again"
som / don't want YOU TO make no bad
bad breaks. What do you mean. Johnny"
"Wcpm, you said II was very impolite to ask for
things twice al the table. tBA ,tlmore News.
william r. Curtis. who visited Porto Rico
time ago rays in The Chicago Record. Il OBJ
served phenomena at San Juan. and the same at
Ponce de Leon for which have never been able
to obtain satisfactory explanation. The old
negresses who sit around the market place and the
shady street corners selling dulces from large
baskets habituaily smoking long black cigars
and they put the lighted ends In their mouths
Why they ID and how they endure It are
mysteries that could not be solved but II s never
ihele.s a fact. and custom that is unique In
Porto Rico"
First Klondiker. turning his other side TO the
nre)-Well, wonder what's the news down In the
second r KGndher gns more oFs on The ar
hear from u.s. Chicago Tribune.
The street sprinkler" says a Vermont paper
has started. and looks as gay az young girl In
yellow paint. with black stripes on the ribs"
Young girls In Vermont apparently indulge in
queer artistic fancies
Family Economy Uncle 10 tho children who
have Just had dose OF cod,liver oil all around)-
Well 10 you Ike cOd-liver oil?
children oh no; but mamma gives US five cents
Uncle And then do you buy something nice,
Children No. mamma puts 1t into the savings
bank
Children-No. mamma buys mora cod-ver oil
with it.-(Flisgende Blatter.
The name or Smith heads the list OF names in
England and Scotland. but IN ireland Murphy
leads. while Smith IL nfth In proportion to the
population there more Smiths in Scotland than
in England FOR IN Scotland ono person In every
seventy is named Smith. while In England only one
person In every seventy-two IA II Smith. The
Smiths IRE welt up IN Ireland. heating such favor
ties the OBriens. the Ryans. the Connors tho
O'Neills. the Relllys. the McCarthys and the Do
hertys. the four leaders Of the Smiths In Ireland
being the Murphys Kellys. Sullivsns and Washes.
DumIcyi-Iiow much do you ask for that piece Of
land?
Robinson-rl sell 1t to you for a mere song
TO the tune OF -
Five thousand dollars"
"Oh. one OF Melbas songs."-CIudge.
The Toronto Evening STAR "a quite sure tina.
the viii drive thousands OF Americans 10
Canada this summer But II will find Itself very
much mistaken. At hrss. doubtless 4 few people
were apprehcnsive OF possible bomha -dnent OF
American coast cities by the spanish fleet But
tho groundcssness OF that feeling Is so evident now
that the seaside resorts ought TO have their usual
number Of visitors and doubtless will. Canada Is |
pleasant place In summer. but It will not get all
the American tourists by any means
Two Views OF Sad Case-Her Father-I am
with Il man who can be engaged to her a month |
WITHOUT WHO E n,rdn ns s,, a ring ,r.,,
happy with a girl whose engagement 70 me will
not Induce jewellers TO trust me.-tThe Jewellers
Weekly.
The employees Of The New-Orleans Times- Demo. |
crat" have organized The Times Democrat.
Rifles. The night editor Is captain the city editor
Heat nant. the assistant city editor second leu
tenant mail clerk. orderly sergeant; telegraph |
editor. second sergeant mach.nist third sergeant.
and nearly all tho corporals reporters
Plain Sailing. VIVA, step do you propose to take
nowc inquired Don Carlos's friend
None whatever Success is before me- In |
order TO obtain the throne now all need DO is to |
walt few months longer Till nobody else wants /
it"-(Washngton Star N0
A physician says in an English paper ".n ola |
woman l once knew had a kird OF shibboeth
which she repeated In all cases Of injury OF the |
elbow. There are two small bones at the elbow
was her remark. Now. there not two small !
bones at the elbow. every ambulance student
knows. SIN. the old lady held on her way re-
Jocing. | have even heard IL seriously asserted
that this old lady mad mended a mans broken
neck when the surgeons had given him up "A n
hopeless ease. capital story OF bone setting Is
that OF the Scotch laddie. Jock by name who
after being carried by his mother an unwilling
patient TO the bone man TO get his legs set was
asked II the manipulation had hurt him NO
said Jock; IL dnna hurt me- I told you II watna
be- painful, said his mother An replied Jock
nae wonder! Ye see. mither. Jest let him tumble
WI tina sound leg"
NO Rest Tor II. do you mean to say that your
ycIorneer records the actual distance covered
with your wheels on that little outing you took
over into u .chigan?'
Well. OF course. you understand" replied the
enthusiastic wheclman. that 90 the trip across
the lake and back We attached the cyclometer |
to the engine Of the boat" Chicago Post