Kansas City journal. [volume] (Kansas City, Mo.) 1897-1928, 1898-03-23
KANSAS TOPICS.

church her mother attends, says the Abb
lene Democrat. She told a girl friend that
her mother dressed so shabbily that she
was ashamed of her. The husband and
father allows the wife a certain sum to
dress the two women and the mother dress
es poorly so the ungrateful daughter may
be well dressed.
The Strong City Derrick relates how a
gang of toughs from the town of Lovewell.
on the Superior branch. undertook to run q
train crew and struck a circumstance In
the shape of a husky brakeman. The
LoveweIl toughs make periodical trips to
CORTLAND and fill their interior with Kan
sas joint whisky and then attempt to beat
their way back to Lovewell. A week or
two since they attempted this game on Con-
ductor Hilton. whose brakeman has an arm
on him like the rear axle of a farm wagon,
and who is a quiet man who rather likes to
have his own way. The conductor. with the
brakeman's aid, made the toughs put up
their fare. but when they reached Love-
well they rallied the town buns and went
on 4 hunt for the brakeman. They found
him and in about the space of time that 1t
would take for an active young lamb to
yank its tail thrice athwart the ambient
air. the brakeman had three of the teughs
piled upon the depot platform. Then the
dllICu e lolttS dlll
returned to the attack. but by this time the
entire train crew had rallied also and the
toughs were put to rout.
A Populist contemporary jumps onto the
Abilene Reflector for mildly remarking that
Matanzas rhymes with Kansas. "In re-
ply" says the Reflector. I'VE beg to quote
from the published works of the poet
laureate. premier. railroad bill writer and
1ifaror- ,Iy;en~ @f tLo --n-a- tn,o "a
ministration. His Excellency Sir Edward
c. Little. whose verse runs thus:
Let ingrates wander far and wide.
From Madrid to Matanzas,
But. win or lose. I'll stand my hand
For aye in bonnie Kansas
us there any higher authority"
The Abilene Democrat relates an incident
that occurred in a shoe store in that town
when a great big duffer of a man and a
little woman. his wife. came in and asked
to see some shoes. The shoes were intend
ed for his wife. but the pig-headed. mule
of a man she is tied to did all the talking
and examining of the shoes. and finally.
without asking or seeming to care whether
they suited her or not. told the clerk to
wrap up a pair of coarse. heavy shoes. His
wife had seemingly nothing to say about
what were her wishes in the matter. al
lnOuSn SHe was tTe OIle VIII was u wear
them. No wonder you now and then hear
of wives poisoning their husbands.
Speaking of the precocious youth Of Ga
| lena. the Republican says: Yesterday a
little boy about 4 or 5 years old took a pair
of shoes from the rack in front of L.
Baum's store. and going into Felsen:hal's.
next door. proceeded to put the shoes on.
Mr.. Felsenthal asked the child where he
got his shoes and received the answer:
Got EN- next door and paid a nickel for
EN-" The shoes were. of course. returned
and the child sent on his way.
o.
"A man advertises to tan cat skins for
Is cents" growls the editor of the Wichita
Mirror. as he falls over L chair while paw
ing around in the dark for something loose
to throw. There is a cat skin whose own
err wowls on our front gatepost which il
properly tanned will put us in his debt
| about 30 cents"
The following account of n catastrophe
which appears in the Haven Journal. Is
certainly calculated to fll'the mind of the
| reader with narrowing doubts as to what
really did happen. 1t runs as follows:
DIR. Sans horse became frightened the
other night while out riding with his wife,
both made their escape from the buggy
and the DR.. got the horse under control
before any damage was done except a tear
in one leg of his trousers" Thu next time
tina horse goes riding he should leave eth
er his wife or his trousers at home.
ss
Twenty-Five years ago the Wilson coun.
ty Citizen contained this notice of a new
literary star who had just risen above
the Kansas horizon: T. Brewer Peacock
lives in Topeka. is a young man of genius
gentle mien and, having an uncontrollable
love for the good. the true and the jing.
ling, has written a large number oil
poems and will launch them on The lit.
erary sea in a bound volume. He is a sor
of the Kansas Democrat.
Just by way of Illustration of the way
farm values are humping in the %neighbor
hood of Claf,in. the Banner says: Tht
Traylor farm has changed hands once
more. This time Mr.. Morris sold it tt
Joe Dolechek. consideration 5000. and Mr.
Morris retains the present wheat crop. TIL,
farm could not be bought now for les
than 5000. and possibly not at that price
The Russians. having completely sub
jugated Ellis county are now spying on
Cove county and making arrangements t.
take that.
The other day while Colonel Thomal
Benton Murdoch was circulating among
the statesmen and diplomats of Washing
ton an official asked him What will Kan
sas do in the event of war with SPAIN
"Do?" replied Colonel Bent, proudly, al
he threw back his head and projected hi
abdomen a few inches further out int
the atmosphere. We'll, sir. our banks will
loan the government SIS. OO0, 600; We viii
furnish $1,000 soldiers, and sell at a BIZ