The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1898-11-02
HUMoR OF THE DAY.

Tommy, who was Joan OF Arc?"
asked the teacher. ''Noah's wife"
was Tommy's guess.
At every picnic every guest secretly
believes that every other guest didn't
bring her share. .-Atchison Globe.
"Willie, how can it be that you love
your grandma better than your own
parents?" "She allus lets me help
myself to pie. Detroit Free Press.
Reputation is a good deal like a
linen suit" Flows that?" when
you undertake to wash it, it always
shrinks the wrong way. Detroit Free
Press.
"Here 10 ~ ~irture-'The Garden
of EdeL. ''"ny, man, you're crazy!
This is winter scene" "Of course
it is--that's picture of the Garden
after the fall. Truth
81 hope I see you well, he said
auently to the old farmer leaning on
his hoe. "I hope you do" was the
unexpected answer; "but if you don't
see me well, young man, put on
specs.
"How much longer will have to
wait on you?" asked the impatient man
of the busy clerk. "In few minutes
shall be waiting on you, replied the
clerk with mile.-Philadelphia
North American.
She-"You never did care for me.
You only married me for my money"
He-"Now you are not only cruel, but
absurd. l should like to know how !
could have got your money any other
way?"-Boston Transcript.
'She says that he proposed to her.
but that they are not engaged" But
they knew her and they laughed long
and loud. ''The only problem" they
said, 'is to decide which of the two
statements is false. Chicago Post.
Old Million-"You want my daugh.
ter. eh? Now, sir, tell me in what
single instance have you ever ex.
hibited any business tact?" Jake
Fellows-"Well, that's easy enough.
picked on you for father-in-law."
Mr.. Floody-"Now, Franklin, my
son, I have at last made the great fact
of the evolution OF species clear to
you, have 1 not?" Franklin Floody-
"Oh, yes, papa understand Before
1 was born, you and mamma were
monkeys. Truth.
Judge-"There was no necessity Of
you assaulting this man and breaking
his camera, just because he tried to
take a snapshot of you. What else
did he do?" Prisoner Nothing,
your honor. He pressed tho button
and did the rest. STANDARD.
Mrs. Dashleigh h-"I see here, Ethel,
that every name has meaning Thus
Harold means brave, Charles means
gay Richard" Miss Dashleigh
(interruptingly)-"O, 1 know what
Dick means, ma. He means busi-
ness. He told me so last night
Boston Globe.
"Can you tell me, asked his wife
scornfully, after looking over the
property he just purchased, what
ever induced you to buy this placer"
"I can," he answered promptly.
"What?" she demanded. zone II
the smartest real estate agents in this
part of the country"
"Why have you broken off your en-.
gagement with the Fraulein Olga?"
"She was too affectionate! She was
always throwing her arms around my
neck and kissing me and exclaiming.
Robert, my only Robert!'" "Why,
1 should think you would have felt
flatteredr "Flattered? But my
name isn't RobertP'- Der Floh.
1.-TWO Spaniards went up in bal.
loon. The balloon burst. What ma
tionality were they when they came
downP" asked the conundrum man.
"Give it up" grimly responded the
stupid man. zone came down Rus.
sian and the other got tangled up in
the telegraph wires and came down q
Pole," was the response. .-Chautau'
qua Assembly Herald.