Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1898-05-20
MARYLAND. FRIDAY MORNING.
EASY FOR CHIMMIE.
HOW A SMART NEW YORK YouNGSTER
GOT THE JOB.


rettss Was Wanted, and Every AppIi-
cAnts Fingers Were Closely Examined.
hut the Man of AniAirs Was Outwitted.
A prosperous man of affairs who has
his offices In a down town skyscraping
structure entered the building the 9TH
or day with disturbed look on his
face Although man with full conf
dence in himself and ono whose judg-
ment was considered second to no one
else's in the street, he was extremely
doubtful Of the result Of the task before
him. He was in trouble because his
office boy had left him and he was
forced 10 engage another. The boy who
had gone had been pretty good one as
boysgu He had bossed the boss and
run the office for about year and was
all right when he had his own way,
but one unfortunate afternoon he told
the boss that he wanted to get off, as
his brother in law had died and no de-
sired to go to the funeral.
81 want to go to the ball game my.
self, said the "old man." chuckling,
NJ he recalled how many times that old
funeral excuse had been sprung on him
by office boys, 80 guess, James, you
will have to mind shop today"
James didn't appear at the Office next
morning, but an irate woman who said
she was his mother did, and she sound
ly berated the employer for his inhu.
manity in keeping James away from his
brother-in-law's funeral
Tho boss tried to explain matters by
saying that he Thought James only
wanted an excuse to 60 to the ball game
and that he did not know there had
been death in the family, but It was
no good. The whole family branded the
old man az a brute Of the deepest dye,
and James did not return TO his duties.
In consequence Of this the employer
inserted an advertisement in ono OF the
newspapers for an Office boy, and he had
got down to the office half an hour
earlier than usual TO receive the appli-
cants for the place.
There was long line Of them in the
hallway in front of his Office, and he
heard much criticism, some favorable
and some otherwise, on his general APP
pearance AZ he pushed his way through
tho throhg He called the boys into his
office one by one and subjected each OF
them to searching examination as to
his experience, fitness, etc. He invaria-
bly, finished up with the question, "Do
you smoke oiRarettesP" The boys az in
variably declared that they did not
Never smoked one o. ther dope
sticks in me life, " declared the first boy
called into the Office
Didn't, eh2" replied the cold man. "
Let me see your fingers. Tho young
ster's fingers were stained u deep dirty
yellow color, and he was told he was
not wanted
Oats not cigarute stain, dat ain t."
insisted the second boy called into the
office. Oats paint off me fader's
house. "
The excuse wouldn't work, however,
and he was ushered out, az were several
more young aspirants for office honors.
Finally bright eyed, redheadod
y0ungster entered the Office and answer
cd all the questions propounded to him
In satisfactory way.
Now, my boy" came tho final test,
tell me truthfully, do you smoke Gig
arettes?"
What's them2 Those little paper OF
gars?" answered the youth.
Yes, exactly"
Nope. Never drew one uf them in
ter mo lungs in me life" continued the
boy,
Let me soe your hands. "
The boy pokod out a chubby fist ut
him The man examined it critically,
brit failed to detect the slightest evi
dence of tobacco stain
You're engaged, he finally said.
Bully fer you'll" replied the youth
So long I'll be ter work in do morn
ing He then went out, whistling
There's Only Ono Girl In tho World
For Me" and Joined his anxious com
rades in the hallway
"Youse fellers can all go home" no
eaid.
What's yer given w? Did yer get
der jobr" piped half dozen voices.
Bet yer life" replied the urchin.
There was loud murmur Of surprise
from the crowd. and finally one Of the
youngsters exclaimed;
How'd yer do it, CHIMNEY be old
mau said dat - ,didn't %ant no dope
stick smokers, an yer knows yer was as /
wursest dope fiend in der push.
"Oh, youse fellers was no slow dat |
yer make me tired, replied Chimmie |
in Il disgusted tone Of voice. "Course I |
hit do dope sticks. bat dye t'ink l |
wasn't cute 'nough ter keep 1t from do
ole mani"
Guess yer had pull or yer couldn't
have fooled his joblots." said ono of
the youngsters.
Easiest ting in do world" answer.
ed Chimmy. "As soon ~ read his ad
yertisemeDt in do poiper l knew dat he
WINS ag'in dope sticks. 80 what does
do but soak mo fingers in turpentne all
night, an In do morning dey wus az
clean az Il newborn babes. New
York Tribune.