The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-09-05
JOHN ALLEN
Of Mississippi, and His Stories In
the House.

| Washington Correspondence Chicago
Times Herald: The entertainer of the
house of representatives is John NJ Allen
/ OF TupelO, Miss He is a serious-faced
man, with "a black moustache, which
troops al the ends, and large, melancholy
/ dark eyes. That is Allen at rest When
! he talks his mouStache curves with an
engaging smile, and his eyes CLEAN with
mIrth- That is to say, when he is on d
/ peace basis. There are occasions when
/ an injustice has been attempted on Mis-
sisslppl that the mouth sets like iron, and
! the soft, sad eyes blaze like headlights
1 AT such times it is well to give the Mis-
J sissippian the right of the Jhoroughfare.
Members seats are never vacant when
Allen is due TO speak, for, as 1 have said,
/ ne is an entertainer. He is a practical
orator and relieves the drearineSS of de-
pate with anecdotes The other day,
Whlle opposing proposition from the
New York dairy district to add a tri-
weekly four ounces of cheese to a SOL
dierS ration, Mr.. Allen, who claims emf
nence as the only Confederate private
VINO survived the war, contributed a Sc
r1eS OF rebellion "reminiscences to gladden.
the pages of the Record. He offered to
make one OF a company OF congressman
TO go TO the front under command of Gen
eraI tGroSvenor- Il make this offer in
good faith.' he said, and l desire no
commission. want to serve in the same
capacity filled in the last war, to prove
that L can fight as well under Old Glory
as | fought against it
Il oon say L won't be frightened he
SO-AIA4OCNg AeipSAiI6 lIllO lIc sou southern
accent. which gives charm to his sto-
RES. L was always pretty much scared
up when went into an engagement, but
L usually stayed ii out. | remember once
myself an a cOmrade was Iyin' behind a
nice pile of rails. Gentlemen, 1 have long
remembered that about the handsom-
est pie of rails L ever noticed in the
southland. 1t was comfortable and il was
picturesque. Although the bullets were
whining over our heads and an occasional
cannon ball would go past with rush
a a = shad in, h.
above US sang sweetly. My friend looked
up TO it choked with emotion.
All little bird he said, EFF I had yo'
wings L wouldn't be settin' round yere
slngin Ia be in good old Mississippi be
TO night
But about this cheese ration" he said.
returning TO his argument; Il am dubious
about cheese keeping we'll in the tropics
II recalls a Renaissance of my youth.
one day negro was projecting around
the grocery store at the cross roads and
discovered three dozen boxes of axle
grease. The lubricant in such packages
was a novelty, and David, after praying
on the cover Of one, determined Its iden-
tity.
: What's dem liz brown cheeses wuf.
boss? he asked the proprietor.
They re with two-blts each, Dave
. L m 'lowin' 1 takes one, he said, dig
ging up % cents. 1 suppose yo' give a
pc man few crackers TO eat dat cheese
wid?'
Certainly. Dave; take all yo' want
replied the humane storekeeper.
Dave retired with his box of axle
grease and a handful of crackers to the
rear of the store. He took out his jack
knife, took a circular cut out of the mid
die Of the grease and spread it on the
cracker. 1t required powerful effort but
the niggra put the last of the box into
eventual circulation. Niggras are eco
nomical that way, and don't like to waste
anything that can be eaten.
'' How did the cheese go, Dave?' in
quired the storekeeper.
. Well, boss replied the niggra, dat
cheese was Suttingly creap 'nough; I
KANT mex no complainin' on de price, but
hit was shoiy de mos ransOmest cheese
ever et.'
In the course of his talk Mr. Allen, as
have said, offered TO make one of COM
pdny of congressman 70 go 10 Cuba IN
der General GroSVenor. IF the war isn't
ended when we get there" he said, the
Spanish will stop fighting as soon as they
hear of our arrival.
Il don't feel about this affair the way a
friend of mine does. A man here in
asked him if he intended en-
listing.
a 'Fust off, he said, I thort would.
an then kinder thort 1 wouldn't. 1 amt
was talkin' it over with Tom Owen, af-
ter I'd about concluded to jine, an after
discussin' of it with him then / made up
my mind final Yo' Sc, l reckoned il would
be too big a surprise to the boys that's
done ben dead these IS years. They'd see
maybe if things didn't come my way,
with blue uniform on. They don't know
about this affair, an my appearance
would amaze EN- some. Then they'd rise
up an holler:
so, thinkin it all over. L concluded
to avoid shockin' them angels that wore
the gray an I'll stay at home"