The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1898-12-30
ANEGD0TE
NHD
INCIDENT

When the late Prof. Henry Drum
mond was giving course Of lectures
on Evolution" In the Lowell Institute,
he overheard two women, evidently
much opposed to his views, discussing
them. Finally one of them said:
"Myra, If what he says Is not true we
can stand 1t. But If 1t is true we must
hush 1t up."
1t was on the first day Of the Jewish
new year. A man with a pronounced
proboscis was being brushed at boot
backing stand. He handed the Italian
the customary nickel, whereupon the
later inquired, "You notta a JewdaT'
NO." replied the customer; why do
you ask p Because, on de holiday we
always charga de ten centa."
Stuart Robson recently arrived at
Weehawken, and, tired and dusty, was
awaiting the ferry-boat to take him
across to New York, when he was ap-
preached by ragged individual, who
was troubled with "the twitters."
"Please, mister, will you be so good as
to give a poor tramp a nickelW he
asked; 81 am broke, and want to get
across the river" Robson extracted
the coin from his ticket-pocket, and,
placing 1t in the outstretched hand,
said: "There you are, my dear man; but
can not for the life of me understand
what difference 1t makes which side of
the river you are on so long as you are
broke"
In 1861 the repeal of the paper duty
was agitating the political world Of
England. The budget speech was pre-
ceded by rumor that the basis Of the
scheme would be the repeal Of the tea
duty, and that this would upset the
Government. Just before Mr.. Gladstone
rose to make his statement there was
handed to Lord Palmerston, on the
| treasury bench, the following note
from Lord Derby: my Dear Pam:
What is to be the great proposal to-
night? Is 1t to be tea and turn out?''
"My Dear Derby" wrote the Premier in
reply, 'it Is not tea and turn out. 1t Is
to be paper and stationary"
This little speech on the new his
tory" was delivered by Lord Sher-
brooke at the thousandth anniversary
of his own college at Oxford. He took
| the spirit of the age to task for resolv-
| ing so many things worth believing
| into mere myth and fable. "For exam
ple," he said in concluding, 1--WE have
| always held that certain OF the college
| lands in Berkshire were given 1t by
| King Alfred. The new historians show
us that the lands We're never his. But
| they prove too much. Had they been
| his, he would have kept them. Being
| another's, he seized the occasion to
make the college handsome present"
The youthful Queen Wilhelmina of
| Holland, some years ago, misbehaved
| to her governess, an English lady. The
latter, as a penance, bade her unruly
| pupil draw a sketch-map Of Europe,
with its principal cities and natural
| features indicated. In the course Of an
hour the young culprit presented her
! map. Holland was drawn with vastly
disproportioned territory and careful
| detail England was represented as an
| island too small in size for anything
but its name; Ireland was made rather
more significant; and across the margin
of the work was written: "The actual
English territory Is too limited to allow
! details"
- ssizslsbss~G Scotch servant to her
h s.llstress, 81 maun tell ye l am to leave
your service and be marritt." us not
this very sudden, Mary?" inquired the
! lady; "who is the person you expect to
marry?" ct is John Scott, mistress"
"But you have known him but a short
n
persisted the woman, reluctant to part
with good servant. 'Yes, tbs true; but
he's ken himself mony years, and he
| says he's all right, and l believe he is,
| for I asked him, Did he ken the ten
| commandments? and he gave them
livery one. l asked him could he say
| the shorter catechism, and he had it
livery word; then 1 told him to grip his
| hands quick and hard, and then, lady,
| 1 saw he was strong man, and m
| goin' to gle him my hand"
Dean Stanley once told how he first
saw Gladstone. The old Bishop of Nor
| wich, having been very much pleased
| with some of his sons performances,
| said that as a reward he would take
| him to visit William Gladstone, the
| most extraordinary schoolboy who had
ever been seen. They went to the house
| where he was, and Arthur Stanley was
| sent out into the garden to make ac-
| uuaintance with the prodigy, who was
| said to be sitting in a summer-house at
the end of a walk. He went, and, hav-
ing arrived at the summer-house, saw
] Gladstone reading book. AS Stanley
| entered Gladstone looked up and said,
with great vehemence: Little boy, lit
tie boy, have you read Gray?" Stanley,
much startled, faltered out that he had
not read Gray, to which the other, with
increasing Intensity of manner, replied:
'Then you must read Gray" q.
| Hoxu They Helnad