The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1898-10-15
APatriot squelched.

APatriot squelched.
"Rose, I'm going to the war.
"Arthur, you shan't go step: you
know Bridget is too timid to stay here
q minute without man in the house"
What She Lacked.
"What made your daughter weep
after her wedding over thos . nineteen
beautiful piano lamps?"
"She hasn't any piano. Chicago
Record.
Can't Resist This.
srThere is one falsehood which every
woman will tell"
'What is it?"
''She always says the frock she has
on is the only respectable one she
has,"
Her Jealousy Aroused.
Miss Sere-'There is one thing
about that Miss Yonge that always
makes me jealous.
Miss T. oveigh-ssWhat is that?"
Miss Sere-"A man. Harlem
Life.
The Home Guards Luck.
"Hullo, Dobson, you're looking
better than I've seen you look for
year."
eyes, I feel better. My wife has
sent all our canned fruit to the front"
cleveland Plain Dealer.
A Dead Level.
"True friendship is so uninterest-
ing"
s'What do you mean?"
ssMadge is so fond of me that she new
er tells me the hateful things other girls
say about me. Chicago Record.
Agreed.
s.Don't be discouraged, my friend,
said the missionary, kindly, "even it
you are an ex-convict. There is
nothing so bad but it might be worse"
eyes, ma'am," replied the party ad-
dressed; ssId rather be an ex-convict
than a convict. Puck.
Amateur Art-Eforts.
my wife and I are not on speak
ing terms"
1sFall out about the WARP"
"No; I don't mind her taking bad
photographs Of me, but when she said
she was going to make a plaster cast
of me. struck. Detroit Free Press.
Analogies.
ga single man." said the garrulous
boarder, sis like derelict. at sea, and
remains so until he is towed into the
matrimonial harbor."
ssShips in harbor," said the unmar-
ried boarder, stseem more liable to o
blowing up."-Indianapolis Journal.
woman's Way.
Mrs. Betterhawse-'tI am told that
You allow your husband to carry q
latchkey."
Mrs. Graymair-"Yes, but it does
not fit the door. just let him carry
1t to humor him. He likes to show
it to his friends and make them think
he is independent.
woman's Love.
Suzanne-"Yes, it's q pretty coup.
let, but it ought to end with money"
Edward-"But, my darling girl, the
first line ends with love, and love
won't rhyme with money"
Suzanne-sWell, II it won't, take
out love and put in something te
rhyme with money, and it will be per
tect. "-Pick-Me-Up.
| A Wonderful Woman.
DeWitte-"AuntD Deborah Strong il
one of the most remarkable women o.
my acquaintance"
Mrs. DeWitte-"Hows SOP"
DeWitte-"Why, I am told that al
the way back from Mrs. Potter
funeral, yesterday, she never ex
pressed any opinion as to how long !
will be before the deceased's husband
marries again. Puck.
The Literal Small Boy.
| Little Boy-.sMr. Blake, won't yol
bend some for mee"
| Mr.. Blake-'I can't, my boy.
| Little Boy-"Aren't you contor
tionist?"
| Mr.. Blake-''No, child, what eve
gave you that idea?'
Little Boy-"Sis said that ever.
time you opened your mouth you pu
your foot in il. Harlem Life.
why He Was Wounded.
/ The Spanish soldier was home frou
the wars. Graphically he told Ia
story Of bloody fight in which b.
was hurriedly separated from his lei
arm.
seWhy didn't you take shelter b.
hind the trees?" senorita suggested
"Car-r-r-r-r -ambal" the SPANS
J soldier scowled darkly, "there weren
enough trees for the oficersp'-Brool
Ign Life.
Bold Amateur DETECTIVES.
II Sweet GirI-"Pa, the house ne:
, door was robbed last night. /"
Pa--"Me-cyl Next door,"
Sweet Girl -sYes, and the burglal
have been in two or three houses {