davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The record-union., 1898-03-27
Religions Mighty Good.

l amt no hand to arsyi never could re-
member dates,
And that's a fatal failin' for a feler that
debates;
don't. jist now, remember whether Moses
up and smote
The rock before or after Noah sailed off
l know that little David knocked the giant
felIer olt
But I've gone. and clean forgotten what
the troEble was about!
The Bibles full c: chapters that l never
under stood
But there's one thing 1 am sure of: that
religions mighty good!
My step-dad used to be n man that every
The very old borned devil was in him it
appeared.
He USED 10 knock poor mother down and
drag her by the hair
And if l barred my back to-day you'd see
some deep scars there
/ co4ldnt help but trembe If he'd even
And thatd make him angry. md laws!
the things ne'd say!
On many Il night when he MRS out and I
:, had went TO bed,
My mother'd tneel beside me and we'd
"'Sh lAat we was dead!
one winter HIr t they get UP big revival meet
Church Gd, was was 2acked-it seemed that we'd
IeHG1on IN the air!
Moqdner's urn r.. bench was crowded every night
lol shy Il week:
ten nye you ia ,a raise your hair to hear that
He'd make you think that Satan was right
there bchinG your back
ana G0n narr6% SUu tIack qI9f take the straight
Night after night J laid awake. afraid to
close my eyes.
For fear ! might sit took for runnin' off
CT te!lin lies.
Seemed as If dad locked list like the
preacher pictured out
ne OLD boy. in them sermons-but I
imagined il. no doubt:
-Ahc one night, when he come to me when
l had went to bed
thought he meant TO beat me. and COW
cred up my head:
And then laid and trimbled! I could seem
TO feel his blows
But purity soon l felt him gently pullin' at
the clos
And when barred my face agin and looked
up at him. he
Stood there awhile and cried and then
knelt down and petted me.
He never whipped me after that, nor scoId-
And ! never knoWed that mother was as
beautiful before.
All the world seemed brighter; it appeared
as ii the sun
Had got to shinin' fairer and q new world
had begun!
I'm not no smart theolocist that's o-o+ the
facts all .at
Concernin' sects and craeds and forms and
all sich things as that:
Inc Blble'S full of passages I never un-
derStood
But there's one thing I am sure of; that
religions mighty good!
> l.. kiscr IL Cleveland Leader.
The record-union., 1898-03-27
Appears Pious.

Wnen you. meet a girl carrying what
looks to be pair of pretty little scar
let morocco volumes bound together.
do not be too sure that they are prayer
book and hymnal-even during these
Lentan days. The newest cases for
playing cards are of red morocco. lust
the shape and size and clasping of
the combined prayer book and hymnal;
and with nothing of the inside showing
but the demure gilt edges of the two
packs Of cards and all under cover of
the eminently ecclesiastical scarlet. the
illusion is perfect If one had ever the
desire tc appear pious when in reality
on pleasure bent. she has here con-
venient shield ready to her hand. and
an opportunity that no telltale conyen-
tional case for playing cards could ever
hope to bring about. But the chief
charm of the new case is it's ability
TO lay bare the guilibility of the aver
age human being. Not one in ten of
those who see the little red morocco
hypocrisy for the first time but takes
il to be the real thing.-Harper's Ba-
The record-union., 1898-03-27
he window to hide the tears in hit

the window to hide the tears III hif
eyes.
Ruth sometimes wears the iin:, with
its peculiar setting of diamonds and
rubies, and when her children s"e the
glittering trinket they beg for ''the
April Fool story"
As for Jim McGrath. if you have
ever been a passenger on his end OK
the line. you have heard him relate the
story, and you viii perhaps remember
that he concluded by saying, as he
always does. Il got fooled purity bad
that time; but the robber himself got
fooled q heap the wust, I'm a-thinxin'.'
The record-union., 1898-03-27
Isaac Hromley's Wit.

One evening Isaac Bromley was at
Z billiard room. accompanied bv a
friend. An accomplished amateur was
displaying marvellous skill at the game
At Ike's request the friend introduced
him to the player. Mr. Squat" said
Ike, really you are one of the most
remarkable players 1 ever met"
Scott" said the player and the friend
simultaneously. No." said Ike. grave
" and firmly, "a man who can play
billiards like that must spell his name
with u q. q."-Argonaut.
The record-union., 1898-03-27
Then She Got Mad.

Mrs. Mann-Henry 1 don't believe
you love me.
Mr.. Mann-It does seem hard thing
to believe, doesn't it.-Boston Trans
cript.
The record-union., 1898-03-27


had to go to law about that property
that was left you. Have you a smart
lawyer?
Bloomfield-You bet I have. He owns
the property now.-Boston Traveller.
What is the use of the vermiform
appendix asked the teacher of the
class in physiology.
Her Mother - [ am surprised, my
daughter that you would suffer man
to kiss you.
Herself-But mamma, 1 cont call it
sufTering.-New York Journal.
Willis-This cigar I am smoking is
the first out of a box my wife gave
me.
Wallace-What are you going to do
with the rest of them m?-Harlem Life.
Weary Amber Leddy, I'm that
hungry I can't see. I'm out of work,
too.
Hardhearted Lady - What is Jour
trade?
'I-I-well, I was a glass-eater in
musee once"
"Al right. You'll find enough
broken bottles in the back yard for a
good square meal. Help yourself, poor
man"-Cincinnati Commercial Tribune.
Said Rev. S. Modification: When |
first accepted the unanimous call to
the church at Sharp Corners the peo-
pie were so infatuated with me that
they begged for locks of my hair; but
when [ took my leave of them last
week they insisted on having my whole
scalp. Judge.
He-It is strange how frequently in
ventors fail to realize the Importance
of their own work.
She-What is the particular instance?
He-Why here is a statement that
the inventor of the hairpin intended it
to be used simply in dressing the hair.
Puck
LADY, wish you would call at the
Office of Mr. Oldrich. 500 Fashion ave-
nue. contrive to have some converse
ton with the venerable gentleman, and
as far as you are able examine into his
physical condition 1 desire to know
how long he is likely to live.
Physician-Certainly. Are you his
wife?
Lady-No, but 1 have a chance to be.
New York Weekly.
Hooley-Did yez hear about Casey
quittin' work. at noon Yesterday?
Dooley-Oi did not Phwot med i'm?
Hooley-Shure, it wor tn twilve
O'Clock whistle.-Judge.
Pruyn-Have you heard that horrible
story about old Stiffe being buried
alive?
DR.. Bolus (hastily) =. Buried alive?
Impossible! Why. he was one of my pa
tients!-Brooklyn Life.
Mistress-Do you call this sponge
cake? Why, it's as hard as it can be-
New Cook-Yes, mum; that's the way
a sponge is before it's wet. Soak it in
your tea, mum.-Boston Transcript.
AIyser-Thats a good cigar, old man
1t was Smuggled from Cuba
Josher-I can't see why anybody took
the trouble to smuggle 1.-THE duty
would be so very small.-Up-to-D
Bill-Did you buy those goods in the
open market?
Jiil-Why, certainly; you don't sup
pose 1 could buy EN- if the market was
closed, do you?-Yonkers Statesman.
The record-union., 1898-03-27

two rooms pronounced difference ol
from four to six degrees in neat III
favor Of The red room. There is some
thing peculiarly stimulating about RED
The fact that it can be seen at 4
greater distance than almost any othei
color is well known, showing that II
arouses the vision in proportion. Blue
is correspondence depressing, these
two coIors being more decided than
almost any other of the list. The ad-
vocates of the new thought" (as it is
called) look with horror upon the wear
ing of black as a mourning emblem, OF
indeed. as a color for any garb. They
would Ike to bring about q reform II
mems dress in this respect, and they
unhesitatingly claim that putting one
self in black garments affords dlStlnc'
armor against receptiveness. 1t is GER
tainly true that the wearing of black
clothes to indicate mourning is being
very much lessened. Where it is pat
on. it is much more quickly put off than
used to be the case. On general prin-
ciples, this is certainly desirable
The club women of Chicago are turn
ing their attention to the enforcement
Of the compulsory school law. The law
as at present existing in Illinois, pro-
vides that all children between seven
and fourteen years of age shall be com
PEELED to attend school for at least SIX
teen weeks in every year, provided tha'
such children are not receiving edu-
cation somewhere else, or are not phys
ically incapacitated." 1t is this quail
fication which has proved a sufficiently
large loophole for a good many chll-
dren to escape through. What the club
women mean to do is to study the eftl-
cacy of the law and how large per
centage of truants it admits the exist
ence on and upon these data they VIII
shape their future action. In their
efforts they have the cooperation OF
the officials of the compulsory depart
ment.
A little pulverized chalk moistened
with ammonia and applied with
brush will remove the mark caused by
the dripping of a faucet in marble
basin An old toothbrush is a good
thing to use for this purpose.
The record-union., 1898-03-27

Mrs. Humphrey Ward received $40.
C00 for Robert Elsmere," $4,000 each
for David Grieve' and "Marcella. y
$I3tEO for Sir George Tressady," and
&11OGN or Bessie CnStraIl y
The record-union., 1898-03-27

An interesting illustration of the eff
feet of color is that shown by some
experiments recently made. 1t was
found that with the same temperature
in both rooms, one of which was fur
nished in blue and the other IN red.
nearly every person who entered the
The record-union., 1898-03-27

Her Mother - I am surprised, my
daughter, that you would suffer a man
to kiss you.
Herself-But, mamma, 1 cont call it
sutTering.-New York Journal.
The record-union., 1898-03-27
THE HUMORISTS.

Plankington-I understand that you
had to go to law about that property
that was left you. Have you smart
lawyer?
Bloomfield-You bet I have. He owns
the property now.-BostOn Traveller.
The record-union., 1898-03-27

What is the use of the vermiform
appendix" asked the teacher of the
class in physiology.
The record-union., 1898-03-27

He-It is strange how frequently in
ventors fail to realize the Importance
of their own work.
She-What is the particular instance
He-Why. here is a statement that
the inventor of the hairpin intended il
to be used simply in dressing the hair!
Puck
The record-union., 1898-03-27

Said Rev. S. Modification: When I
first accepted the unanimous call to
the church at Sharp Corners the peo-
pie were so infatuated with me that
they begged for locks of my hair; but
when [ took my leave of them last
week they insisted on having my whole
scalp.'-Judge.
The record-union., 1898-03-27

Willis-This cigar 1 am smoking IS
the first out of a box my wife gave
me.
Wallace-What are you going to do
with the rest of them Harlem Life.
The Advocate and news., 1898-03-09
First published March 2, 1882
Bond Redemption Notice.

To holders Of bonds issued by the city Of abb
lene, Kansas, In aid Of the Chicago, Kansas
h Western Railroad Company
In accordance with the directions of a law Of
the State OF Kansas entitled can act relating
to the redemption Of bonds issued TO railroad
companies" which act took effect March 10,
1881 l. G., o. Sterl, City Treasurer Of the city OF
Abilene, Dickinson county, State of Kansas,
do hereby give notice that the said city of abb
lenO, In said county and State, will on the Goth
day Of April, 1885, at the fiscal agency of the
State Of Kansas In the city OF New York, State
Of New York, redeem the following described
bonds issued by the said city of Abilene, to-Wit;
Bonds numbers from one to twenty, inclusive
OF numbers one and twenty, issued July 1st,
1887, In aid Of the Chicago, Kansas & Western
Railroad Company, each number being in itself
bond for 81, 1,0O0
Holders OF said bonds are hereby further no.
titled that on the 9th day OF May, 1893, said
bonds will cease to bear interest, and they are
hereby notified TO present the said bonds at
the said fiscal agency OF the State Of Kansas as
hereinbef0re mentioned for redemption.
g. O. STERL,
City Treasurer OF Che city Of Abilene, Dick
in80n county, Kansas.
Abilene, Kansas February %, 1898.
The Advocate and news., 1898-03-09

gee the worst Of 1t. This he refused to
do, and lodged into the front corner Of
hts cell, where the iron could not touch
him. The officers then bent the rod into
something the shape Of a fish-hOok so
they could reach him, at the same time
calling upon him to surrender. He made
a grab at the rod, but It burnt his fingers
and he dropped It, and seizing his mat
tress and bedding crOUched in the corner
and covered himself up with 1t. One Of
the officers succeeded in getting hold Of
the corner Of the blanket and jerked 1t
of from him, so Thomas jumped up and
said he would surrender. He was re-
quired to put his hands up and thrust
them out of the partly opened door one
at a time, while the handouts were put
on, then he walked quietly to the dark
cell and offered no further resistance.
| examined the burn upon his hand and
found II slight and superficial, needing
nothing more than q little vasaline, and
1t got we'll in a few days. While the
means employed may have been little
harsh, they were certainly effectual, and
there was no brutality shown and no
WOI0 iOECV uSCu Ihdh WOO AOOOSoolJ w
compel him to submit to the authority of
the institution. He had 1t in his power
at any moment to stop the proceedings
by surrendering, and when 1t is remem-
bered that he is a desperate character,
had given the former administration so
much trouble that they were required to
send him to the penltentiary, l felt that
the officers were perfectly justified in
using any means to compel his obedience.
A. M. HUTCHINSON,
Physician of RefOrmatory.
Subscribed and sworn to before me
this 26th day Of February, 1898.
w. L. HOPKINS,
Notary Public.
My commission expires May 20, 1901.
The Advocate and news., 1898-03-09
First published February IS, 1881
Bond Redemption Notice,
Pawnee County, Kansas.

Pawnee County, Kansas.
To the holders Of bonds issued by Pawnee
county, Kansas, to the Denver, Memphis
& Atlantic Railway Company:
Pursuant to the laws Of the State Of
Kansas and an order OF the Board Of
County Commissioners Of Pawnee county,
Kansas, I, g. w. Lawrence, County Treas
urer Of said county, hereby give notice that
the following described bonds, with ac-
crued interest thereon, issued by Pawnee
county, Kansas, to the Denver, Memphis
q Atlantic Railway Company, to-wit:
Bonds Number One ~ and Number Two
(2), bearing date August IL, 1887, and Of the
denomination OF q 900 each, will be paid on
the 2th day OF April, 1893, at the fiscal
oil New York, State OF New York. And
further notice is hereby given that from
the 25th day Of April, 1898, said above de-
scribed bonds will cease to bear interest.
County Treasurer Of Pawnee county,
Kansas.
The Advocate and news., 1898-03-09
First published March 2, 1893.
Proposals

For putting In the facia, balusters and rail on
the gallery of the second floor Of the Capitol
building in Topeka, Kansas
Bids will be received until ~ O'Clock noon,
March Is, 1898 for furnishing and putting In
place the facia, balusters and rail on the gal
leFy OF the second floor of the Capitol building
In Topeka, Kas, In accordance with plans and
Lescher, State House Architect. The proposals
to be addressed to w. e. Bush, Secretary of
State, Topeka, Kansas.
The Executive Council reserves the right to
reject any or all bids. Ninety per cent will be
paid on estimates made by the State House
Architect until the completion of the same.
Under the laws Of Kansas. eight hours con-
stitute days labor.
JOHN W. LEEDY, Governor.
w, e. BUSH, Secretary Of State.
The Advocate and news., 1898-03-09
(Flrst published March 2, 1882
Bond Redemption Notice.

To holders of bonds Issued by the city OF Abb
lene, Kansas, In aid OF the Chicago, Kansas
Nebraska Railway Company:
In accordance with the directions of u law OF
the State OF Kansas entitled IAN act relating
to the redemption OF bonds issued to railroad
companies" which act took effect March 16
1887, l. O. Q. 9terl, City Treasurer OF the city OF
Abilene, Dickinson county State OF Kansas, do
hereby give notice that the said city OF abb
lene, In said county and State, will on the 2Oth
day OF April, 1898 at the fiscal agency of the
State OF Kansas In the city of New York, State
OF New York, redeem the following described
bonds Issued by the said city OF Abilene, tO-wit:
Bonds numbers from one to fifteen. inclusive
OF numbers one and fifteen. issued December
18th, 1881, In aid OF the Chicago, Kansas & Ne
breSka Railway Company, each number being
In itself bond for $1,000.
Holders OF said bonds are hereby further no
titled that on the 9th day OF May, 1893, said
bonds will cease to bear interest, and they are
hereby notified TO present the said bonds at
the said fiscal agency OF the State Of Kansas as
hereinbefOre mentioned for redemption.
q. o. SrERL,
City Treasurer OF the city OF Abilene, Dick
inSon county, Kansas.
Abilene, Kansas, February %, 1893.
The Advocate and news., 1898-03-09
First published February 2, 1881
Bond Redemption Notice.
Jackson County, Kansas.

Jackson County, Kansas.
To the holders of bonds issued by Jackson
county, Kansas, TO the Chicago, Kansas &
Nebraska Railway Company:
Pursuant to the laws OF the State of Kansas
and an order OF the Board OF County Commits
sioners OF Jackson county, Kansas, /, Arch. ID.
Abel, County Treasurer Of said county, hereby
give notice that the following described bonds
son county. Kansas, to the Chicago, Kansas &
Nebraska Railway Company, tO-Wit; Bonds
numbered consecutively from one to one hum
dTed inclusive, bearing date April l, 1887, and
of the denomination Of 81 600 each, will be pal
on the 18th day of April, 1893, ut the fiscal
agency Of the State Of Kansas In the city OF
New York, State Of New York. And further
notice is her eby given that from the 18th day
Of April ls9S, said above DESCRIBED bonds will
County Treasurer OF Jackson County, Kansas.
The Advocate and news., 1898-03-09
The RefOrmatOry rKatter.
Q. ". CASE, SUPERINTENDENT.

Editor Advocate and News:-Since
much comment has been made about the
treatment OF an inmate Of this institu-
tlOn, allow me to say that the whole ac-
count has been exaggerated and much
Oe II Is wholly false. When Thomas first
became unruly Mr.. overmyer took him
to the dollhouse alone and was not
chased by him as stated. These stories
originated among three parties here who
haYe conspired to injure the institution
management by falsifying It's record.
The statement herewith submitted Is by
the physician who served under Gov
ernor MorrilPs administration, who is
politically a Prohibitionist and man Of
sterling character and worth; having no
Interest but the truth to Vlndicate.
Now let the dogs Of war be silenced
and sneak off to their kennels for the
truth has been told, and the negro was
not burned skin-deep. We neither had
him on roast nor quail on toast. He is
living, growing and doing fine and will
s0On be on his way to Lansing.
Hutchinson, March /.
The Advocate and news., 1898-03-09
Correspondence.

lThe Advocate and News sollcits COM
mllnicatlOns on topics OF interest, written
To represent the opinion OF the writer's
thereof regardless OF the supposed posi-
tlon of the paper. Make your. articles
short; one does not take up much room,
hut when q dozen are received the publi-
cation OF ali Mecessltates brevity. The
editor reserves the right 10 shorten any
Communication OF over $50 WOrds.l
The Advocate and news., 1898-03-09

HUTCHINSON, haS., FeD. ~, 1898,
To the Honorable Board OF Managers OF
the Kansas State Industrial Reforma-
tory:
Pursuant to your request,
I hereby place in writing my statement
as verbally given to you, Of what saw
and thought Of the methods and acts Of
the officers of the reformatOry In their
. efforts to enforce the discipline of the
Institution upon one of the inmates,
named Wade Thomas, on Tuesday, Feb
ruary is, 1893.
In the discharge Of my duties that day
as physician, entered the dollhouse
and noticed quite a group of officers
gathered about the door Of the cell occu-
pied by Wade Thomas, q Colored inmate,
located on the second floor and about the
middle OF the south side of the cell build
ing, was informed that Wade Thomas
was In his cell, had torn his bed to
pieces, smashed his furniture and re-
fused to come out and submit to author
ity. went up to the second floor and
could hear Thomas loud talk, vile oaths,
0bscene language and imprecations be-
eore reached his cell. The officers made
way for me as approached and wishing
10 determine his mental condition,
x whether insane or only vicious, | stepped
up to the cell door, held out my hand to
him between the bars, and said, Hello;
Wade, what are you doing now" He
Wag standing In the front Of his cell door
with q lamp In one hand and O lamp
chimney in the other. He put down the
chimney, took hold of my hand and said,
Hello, Doctor, you here, too?" "Yes,
Wade" answered. What does all this
Mean?" He answered, nationally but
passionately that he was going to kill
some Of these -- oiflcers; that they
were trying to punish him just gor wear
Ing his handkerchief around his neck,
nnd that he wouldn't go to the dark CELL
He mingled his talk with imprecatlons
ON two or three OF the officers, using the
'iFilest kind Of profane and obscene lam
4 gUage. | tried TO reason with him, and
urged him to surrender to authority, and
reminded him Of the trouble he gave the
either administration before they sent
niIa to the penitentiary. He had to yield
then and he would have to now. He an
YsWered, with an oath, that he would
newer surrender, and that he would kill
Ahe frst man that tried to molest him.
sin the meantime he picked UP and -four
iBhed piece Of gas pipe about three feet
long and one and half inches thick,
portion OF his iron bedstead that he had
'9taBen to pieces. I also noticed that he
had been using the piece Of gas pipe as
Y u drill and had tried to loosen the fast
enings OF his door. While was talking
10 him, Mr.. hopkins, the assistant su-
petintendent, stepped up to the door and
asked him TO pass out through the bars
y She pieces Of broken furniture. He turned
nppn Mr., Hopkins with the vilest OF Ian
y gNage, refusing to do 80. Just at that
time I noticed some one from the floor
below pushing up an iron rod about
Twelve feet long, the end Of which was
N nra& hQt, which was thrust through the
\ sbgts 0 the ceR door. Thomas lodged to
8SB side and instantly hurled the lamp,
shs chimney and every loose missile he
HNopld lay hold of at the parties handling
sIssa iron. The officers asked him to throw
,lip hts hands and surrender, or he would
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1898-09-15

the prosecution Of PENSIONS rs Technical
requirements not within the province Of
the law and which are only calculated ~
hinder ard ohstruct in the effort to OBJ
tain lawful pensions"
'rnc rcp"r, was adopted v'ithou. discus
sion.
Tho application Of the Ladies Relief
Corps 10 @mcnd their constitution 81 ass
10 enable them To use relief funds for the
bcncut Of the Spanish Nr"critUu wa was
acted up-n favorahly ~ the cncampmcnt.
The prapCeition to make riSip.c 50
M nNcrsr!p in thu Grand Army soldiers
who have served in the war witn spain
was Laid on tho table.
After appointing the national beard II
administration. Couss sting of one mcmhe +
from each State the ceremony OF ,nstd'-
ling the newly elected officers was per-
formed h. ComraGc Wagner Of PeUUs"'-
Vanla. The new commandments {
James \. sexton of Chicago Immediately
after his installation, received from Mrs
alexander. president of the Woman's Re
lief Corps Of the department Of Illinois.
who was accompanied ON The platform ny
Mrs. Gen. John G. Slack, beautiful hou-
quot of roses accompanied 10y a ieNcitous
speech Of presentation. To which Mir. Sex
, ton modc happy reply.
The last action Of the cncampmcnt was
the adoption by rising vote of thanks
to the retiring commandcr-in-chief, Gen.
Gobir. who bricHy returned his THANKS
\. $3.50 p. m. the final adjournment took
place.