Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1898-09-07
SPINNING WHEEL.

) SPINNING WHEEL }
A~.~~~-~->~~~-~-~~~~~~~~
eft es fonny to mae" remarked the
Swedish philosopher, ''det tie back door Of
a saloon always hat a lock on ct Diet es
out of order"
The French ambassador of the day
complained to a bright EnglIshwoman of
high rank because her country failed to
intervene in the FrancO-Prussian war,
ending his diatribe with the remark: AT
ter all it was to be expected. We used to
think you were a nation of shopkeepers,
and now we know you are" And We"
said she, used to think the French a ma
ton of soldiers, and now we know they
are not
''Snagsby is the most devoted goldman I
ever met, The only meat he eats is sau-
sage" "Ball?" "No: links. "-Cleve-
land Plain Dealer
Dr. James X. Hosmer, while recently
visiting Boston, had occasion to visit the
new public library. AS he went up the
steps (says the Ladies, Home JournaD he
doctors errand. ''To consult the arch
ives, was the reply. by the way, Hos
Noah kept his bees?' mo" answered
Hosmer. In the ark hives said the
venerable preacher as he passed on.
'There's a young woman who makes
little things count How does she do
1t: Teaches arithmetic in a primary
chool."-Boston Globe.
The late w. G. Wills, the playwright,
though lavish of money when he had it.
hated parting with it III any formal way
When friend, to whom he owed IS,
took advantage of his just having received
a check for play to ask for payment.
the debtor declined on account Of the
claims" upon him. The friend, who
knew his ways, came back few hours
later and asked him for IS to help him
out of a difficulty. Certainly, my boy"
said Wills, entirely forgetting what had
gone before; take what you want" And
he offered him handful of soyereigns
''Why don't you wear Il button reading.
Remember the Maine?'" Il don't need
to; my wife gave me a blowing up that
same day."-MeXican Herald.
There isn't such a difference. after all.
between the principal item OF summer
their civilized sisters
Isn't there?'
mo. The Hawaiian girls wear grass
skirts; their civilized sisters wear lawn
-:O:-
Lady BlessingtOn, who was accorded
the name of THE gorgeous" when Prince
Louis Napoleon, the last Emperor of the
French. was an exile in London, was re-
marka bly, courteous to him. extending her
hospitality in the most lavish way. After
his accession to the throne of France she
was in Paris for season, and somewhat
naturally looked forward to an invitation
to the Tuileries. Time passed and none
came. But at a sumOtuOus ball given
elsewhere the Emperor passed in the full
splendor of his triumph. Catching sight
of his benefactress, he smiled and asked:
All, Lady Blessington. You remain in
Paris for a time?'' Yes SIRE" said she;
and your --,.
Lipper-''NIet Barnum this morning. He
said she was fishing yesterday, and that
he tished for eight steady hours without
bite. Do you believe it,"
Chipper-'The hours may have been
steady enough, but he wasn't. l saw
him when he came home. ''-Richmond
Dispatch.
Scene Train stopping at a big juno
tion-Ticket Collector examining pas
senger,s ticket)-"This won't do, sir,
Lou IL nave 10 get out AID 1aSsellSeE
II shall not get out. l refuse 10 be
bullied by you. Here is my card. You
have your remedy" etc. Ticket Collector
- only wanted to say, sir" Passen-
ger-"DOn't talk to me. You're only 4
mental. Fetch the stationmas Ticket
CollectOr-''Its all right, sir. Grain pro
ceeds, and passenger relates tales Of his
various triumphS over railway officials
Scene "A dark and lonely railway plat
form. One melancholy figure, brooding-
Passenger (thoughtfully)-"I wonder #
that collector only meant to tell me [ was
on the wrong train ?"-Tid-Bits.
what did Col. Stilwell say about the
branded peaches we sent to cheer his
convalescenceE"
He said he was afraid he wasn't
strong enough to eat the fruit replied
the little girl, but that he appreciated
the spirit in which it was sent.''-Wash-
ington Star.
There was a 3-year-old youngster who
started in to make things interesting for
his father and mother the other night
He demanded everything he could think
Of, and finally went back to first rrin-
clp1es and wanted drink. Don't get rp
again, Anna" commanded his irate sire.
hes just trying to impose on us 81
ant drink echoed from the crib. II
guess I'd better, john" whispered The
softer hearted of the two. Nov Anna,
if and so the discussion waxed and
Maned for minute till it was ended Ky a
disguised little voice from out the dark
ness: well, for two cents I'd Diet up and
spank you bof!'-Cleveland Plain Dealer
''Hannahr' exclaimed the very young
housekeeper, how in the world did you