The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1898-11-25
HuMoRs OF CLERICAL LIFE.
Experiences That Diversity the Par
sons Routine.
From the Cornhin Magazine.


From the Cornhin Magazine.
1 once asked a district nurse how the
various sick cases had been going on dur
ing my absence from the parish. AT
once the look which knew so well cross
ed her face, but her natural professional
pride strove for the mastery with the due
righteousness which she considered neces-
sary for the occasion. AT last she evolv-
ed the following strange mixture: Mid
ding wel', sir; some of EMS gone straight
TO glory. but I am CAD to say others are
nicely on the mend.
On another occasion a man who belong
ed 10 a Workingmen's club in the parish
was telling me the strange history of his
NE. He had been deserted by his father
ana mother and more or less dragged up
by an Old aunt who had taken him in
from me age of II he had had 10 fight his
own battle, and uncommonly we'll he had
IouSht 1t. l could see how proud he nat
urally enough was of his success. But in
the midst OF his boastng ne seemed sud
denly to realize that perhaps ne owed
something to higher power or. at least.
ne ought TO say so; so he went on: you
see SIR l ave always 'ad to fend for
myseh lVer since | was a scrap of a lad
-lheh pause" ieastwise, in course, wi
a bit O. 'elp from tn Almighty" It was
certainly quantity put but l believe gen
! timely meant
speaking Of the undue stress often laid
on niue things the local papers of our
country towns are at times delighted in
this way. OF course they ALWAYS contain
1ul accounts of knfe-and-fork teas held
at the Fotheringby-cum- Slocum Primitive
Methodist New Connection Mission Room.
with a complete list of the "tea-makers' -
Miss Jones, Master T. Jones. the Misses
T. L. and K. Smyths, etc, and how the
guests heartily partook of the good fare
kindly provided by Mr. and Mrs. Knight.
etc local paper, however which 1
happened to see the other day, surpassed
itself in its News from Our Village -
suppress the name of the village, but can
not withhold the nature of the news -
II ran somewhat as follows; Last
thursday Mr.. Thomas - farm laborer
Killed SOW weighing - stone. She was
indeed a splendid specimen of the nor
cine species; we are informed that in
spite of her great size, she was able TO
walk Walk IT ana out of her sty to the last"
what an inhnitude of pathos lies in those
three simple words, ito the last"
A clergyman was walking through the
outskirts of his parish one evening. whom
ne saw one of his Pensioners very busv
wh!tewashing his cottage The parson.
pleased at these somewhat novel siene ~
cleanliness, called out "Well. ZONES I sec
you're making your house nice and
smart With a mysterious air. Jones.
VINO had recently taken the cottage. de-
scended from the ladder and SLOWLY walk
ed to the hedge which separated the car
den from the road. That's not 'xaclv the
reason why I'm a-dolng this ere lob" he
whispered, but the last two COUPLES as
llVed in this ere cottage ad twins. so I
says to my missus, I'll tax an whitewash
the place so as there mayn't be no infec-
ton. Ye see, sir. as '6w we got ten of
EN- already" Whether the whitewashing
was effectual or not, I have not been able
TO ascertain.
An old clergyman who had held a cure
in the depths of the country for the great
er part of his life, had occasion to consult
his bishop on a certain matter. and. IN
answer to his letter, received an invitation
to sleep the night at the palace. For forty
or fifty years he had practically led the
life of a recluse and il was after MANY
cogitatlorls that he decided to take the
journey TO the other end of the diocese
where the bishop lived He arrived lust in
time for o'clock tea, a meal to which he
was a complete stranger. After tea the
bishop asked him to accompany him 70
evensong. When they returned to the.
house the bishop, remarking that it was
quite time they went upstairs, lit a candle
and showed his guest to his room 1t was
then just O'clock and though the old
clergyman thought IL was rather carly to
retire, still admiring the bishop for such
simple habits, he prepared for bed He
had just put out the light and lain down
to sleep, wishing ne had eaten a !ittie
more tea, when a booming noise rang
through the house and smote upon his ear
Quick as tho light he sprang from his bed
and shouting "t-ire:" at the TOD of MS
voice, rusned out on 30 the landing lust IN
time to meet tho bishop, with a lady on his
arm, going down TO dinner The sequel
to the story has never been divulged, and.
as 1 have SAID this Is not personal rem
iniscence.
A certain bishop, in travelling through his
diocese, had occasion to change at way
side junction. While waiting for his train.
he seized the opportunity of making
friends with the station master. One of
the kindest-hearted men, he was very fond
of trying to enter into the varied interests
of those with whom he came in contact.
However, on this occasion he did not find
it easy to discover the exact topic in which
his new friend was interested. So reluc-
family he fell back on his particular
SHOP" /. e.. the traffic Il suppose, with
the race meeting taking place to-day, there
liner" Inadvertently the bishop had in
deed touched the station masters weak
point-not the traffic, but racing. So for the
next quarter of an hour he listened in his
kindly way to the various merits of the
horses engaged in the st. Leger and their
chances of success. At last, to the bishops
great relief it must be admitted, the train
arrived, and, shaking hands with his racing
friend. he got into a carriage. He had not
travelled very far, however, when, the train
having pulled up, he heard the station
masters voice inquiring if the bisnop of
- was in the train. Hastily the bishop je-
clared his presence. OF course, his fellow
passengers in the third-cIass carriage Qt
was the bishops boast that he always trav-
eled third were on the qui viVe to know
what the station master wanted with the
bishop, while quite a little knot of specta-
tors gathered round the carriage window.
Up comes the official, making a prodigious
salute to the great ecclesiastical dignitary.
1--WE Just received a WIRE My Lord, from
the station master a -, asking me 70
tell your lordship that Donovan won the