davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1898-04-20
A LITTLE NONSENSE.

She-"There are people who use re-
ligion as cloak" He--"I know it."
"What will they do in the next world,
do you think?" "Oh, they won't need
any cloak there. .-Yonkers Statesman.
Mrs. Skinfint-"H is ha'penny
for you, my man, and pray tell how you
came to be SO miserably poor?' Men
dicant-"Ah, mum! / was like you
too fond of giving large sums of money
to the poor! "-Tit-Bits.
ncuarble.-Bing-"Ye that's old
Spriggings. Half dozen doctors have
given him up at various times during
his life." Wing-"Whatw was the trouble
with him?" Bing-"He wouldn't pay
his bills. "-Boston Traveller.
Knew His Business.-Old Farmer
"That's fine lot of pigs over there.
What do you feed them?" Amateur
"Why, corn, of course" Old Farmer
SIN the carp" Amateur--"Certainly
net; in the mouth. Chicago News.
Mrs. Jaggs-'If l got as intoxicated
as you do I'd go off somewhere and
shoot myself" Jaggs -N-no you (hic)
"Cuiun l, III uedT. IL you wash \hiSy
hafsh as 'tox'cated as 1 am you couldn't
(hic) hit shide of barn."-Chicago
News.
Cruel.-"Yes,'' said Miss Passeigh, 81
enjoy the society of Mr.. Airylad. He
keeps me interested. He is always say.
ing something that one never hears
from anybody else" Really" re.
joined Miss Cayenne. HAS he been
proposing to you, too?'- Washington
Star.
Lady Bicyclist (hysterically)-"Oh
Mr.. Officer, Mr.. Officer, somebody has
stolen my bicycle" Officer-"What
kind of bicycle was it?" Lady Bi.
cyclist-"Why, it was high-geared
hollow-axle, self-oiling, detachable
tires, movable spoke-studs, double ball
bearings, and-oh, yes, now 1 come te
think of Tiny baby was attached te
the handle-bars.' '-Tit-Bits.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1898-04-20

pIoSCIlpllOu ulleQ. III 4ntocfy.
took nearly all the medicine, but still the
trouble became worse, and felt that my
condition was hopeless. tried several rem
edies recommended by my friends but with
out benefit. After had been suffering sew
eral months, Thomas Campbell, also resi-
dent of this city, urged me to try Dr. Will
liams Pink Pills for Pale People.
HE finally persuaded me to buy box
and 1 began to, use the pills according to
directions. Before / had taken the second
box | began to feel relieved, and after taking
a few more boxes, I considered myself re-
stored to health. The pills gave me new
life, strength, ambition and happiness"
DIR. Williams Pink Pills cure dyspepsia
by restoring to the blood the requisite con-
stituents of life, by renewing the nerve force
and enabling the stomach to promptly and
properly assimilate the food. These pills are
specific for all diseases having their origi-
nation in impoverished blood or disordered
nerves. They contain every element requi-
site to general nutrition, to restore strength
to the weak, good health to the ailing.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1898-04-20
NOT AN ART ELEVATOR.
One Girl Who Was Satisfied to Paint
DSnf

Pictures.
The art student shook her head in whim-
steal protest She has just come back from
six years study in the Paris studios, where
she had the reputation of being talented,
conscientious and ambitious worker.
II am glad to be at home again" she
said; "but everybody takes things SO seri-
ously over here. At least the girl art stu
dents do. They haven't the pluck to get
down at the bottom and dig away on first
principles in way that every Frenchman
thinks perfectly NATURAL but they are awful
ly busy with ideals. They belong to clubs
for elevating all sorts of things. I've been
buttonholed on every corner by people who
want me to join clubs. The day l got into
my studio some of my old friends came to
went abroad. They all looked deadly seri-
his-life-to- his-country pose and said sol
EMMY:
Margaret, we need you. You must help
us elevate American art
Il just tucked a pillow behind my head
and said: I'll be hanged if do. I'm going
to paint pictures
"Ihey are terribly disappointed in me. /
don't breakfast until ten. / can't do honest
hard work, with my best force, on less than
ten hours sleep, and so | take it; but it
seems nobody can elevate art and sleep in
the mornings. I'm willing to give up my
swell studio and go over on Tenth avenue to
live in one room and work as | please rather
than paint things don't believe in because
they would sell; but I'm using what nerve
force have on my work. and so the girls
think I am unregenerate Club me no clubs.
My club is maui stick IN. Y. Sun.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1898-04-20
OFFICE-HOLDING TAX-EATERS.
Numbers of Persons Included in the
Civil Service Lists of Vari.
Gus Countries.

The statement was published recent
ly that the number of persons in the
classified civil service of Great Britain
exclusive, of course, of the army, navy
constabulary and elected officers,
amounted to $4,000, with annual pay OF
e7,OOO,O00 or 35,OOO,0OO An official
statement made in Washington on
March 1 showed that the total number
of officeholders in this country was
17S,717. The aggregate salaries amount
ed to $9O,5S9, 927. The classified list of
officeholders numbers s7,1OS, leaving in
the unclassified list 91,609, of whom
about $4,000, are fourth-class post
masters.
In Great Britain the post office and
telegraph Office employees are not in
cluded in the civil service. Figuring the
population of the United States as now
about double that of Great Britain,
it is seen that the number of persons
in the civil service of Great Britain is
relatively greater than it is here. In
France, by recent computation, there
were in the civil service of that country
100000 persons, or about one per cent.
of the population-300,0 men and
$4,000 women, total, however, which
included the instructors in and en-
ployes of the government schools,
which in England and the United
States are local, not national concerns.
Nc one seems to know even approXi-
mately how many persons in Germany
are in the direct employ of the govern
ment exclusive of the army and navy.
In Austria Hungary, where the con-
ditions of government are not much
dissimilar from those which prevail in
Germany, the civil service includes 20O,-
eco persons, 100000 in Austria and $4,000
in Hungary. The Austrian method of
computation, however, is not one which
would be likely to gain much favor
here, especially when there was legis-
lature in session at a state capital.
The Austrian division of inhabitants is
as follows: Farmers. those engaged
in manufacture, those engaged in COM
merce, capitalists, these in the civil
service, those in domestic service, and
various persons" The designation of
."capitalist'' would never do in the
United States. 1t would prove too elias
,tic-too large when there were no taxes
to be paid, too small, perhaps, when
there were taxes to be collected-and
a subdivision of the population as cap
italists" would be awkward for another
reason, because it would be difficult to
ascertain what was the dividing line be-
tween the penury of the majority and
the atfluence of the few, and no such
subdivision would be permanently pop
ular here. In Spain considerable num-
Der of the population are returned as
Migrants and smugglers," but Spain
is the only country which preserves this
sinister, subdivision of its people, and
there is no separate subdivision for
those in the public service, though the
colonial, maritime and customs inter-
ests of Spain require very consider
able number of persons on the national
payroll. Italy has large civil list, but no
stated class of Migrants and SNUG
glers."-Chicago Tribune.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1898-04-20
MOODS.

AS in the primrose time of year
Amid the flowers sang,
An hour passed, and in mine ear
His silver message rang:
"Breathe mirth and joyance while you
may,
Nor turn thought to sorrow;
Gull all the sweetness Of to-day
There may be no tomorrow"
An hour found me dropping low,
And whispered in mine ear:
"Your joy lies in the long-ago;
To-day alone is drear.
Think how the sunny past was long,
Yet could not last for aye
OF yesterdays happy throng.
And but one sad to-day"
The morrow came. and was dead.
And time had ceased to be;
No silver-footed hours sped
With tender words for me.
For where my soul had winged away
Nor pain nor grief befall
To-day-to-morrow-y
1t matters not at all!
New England Magazine.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1898-04-20
AAOO>s - AAAo with Hood s SarSa parilla.
A TOOTHBRUSH TALE.
An Old story and One That Is Brand
New.

New.
Three society girls sat in the newly dec
Grated boudoir of the blue-eyed girl. The
brown-eyed girl remarked that she wished
some one would remind her to buy tooth
brush the next time she went downtown.
Then she laughingly asked
Girls, what would you call toothbrush
-one of the amenities of civilization"
Il would call it a necessity" exclaimed
the .blueeyed girl. "That reminds me,
girls" she continued, "of story my Uncle
James used to tell. / always had my doubts
about this story of Uncle James, but will
tell you what he said.
one time on one of the new Sound steam
ers, and he shared his stateroom with a
strange man. When morning came, Uncle
James got up first, dressed, and went on
deck. Presently he came back to pack his
travelling bag. He remembered that he had
left his toothbrush on the rack. On looking
for it, he discovered his roommate using it
vigorously. Surprising that mistake had
been made, he said:
I beg your pardon, sir, but that is my
toothbrush
Indeed said the man, you must ex-
cuse me; thought it belonged to the boat :"
ooh! oh! oh!' exclaimed the gray-eyed
girl, waving her hands frantically, "that is
the, same story my Uncle Robert always
told. It didn't, happen to either one of
''Of course not" assented the blue-eyed
girl, laughing. Owe have caught both our
uncles in fbs now, haven't we?''
The brown-eyed girl looked at her frineds
In disgust.-St. Louis Republic.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1898-04-20
SHE TOOK THE HINT.
And Then Proceeded to Display Her
Immense Ingenuity.

At home stations the private soldiers
washing is usually done by the married sol
diers' wives, who are expected to sew on
missing buttons and do repairs, for which
a small sum is deducted from the private's
pay.
Pat McGinnis had good deal of trouble
with his laundress; Sunday after Sunday
had his shirt come back with the neck but
ton off, or else hanging by a thread. He
had spoken to her on the subject and she
had promised to see to it, but still the but
ton was not on properly.
He got out of patience one Sunday when
the missing button had made him late for
parade, and exclaimed:
Bother the woman! Til see if I can't
give her hint this time, anyhow"
He then took the lid of tin backing box,
about three inches in diameter, drilled two
holes in it with fork and sewed it on to the
neck of the shirt that was next to be
washed. When his washing came back he
found that she had taken the hint; she had
made button hole to fit it.-Detroit Free
Press.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1898-04-20
The Human system Heat.

The human system can endure heat
at 212 degrees, the boiling point of wa
ter, because the skin is bad conductor,
and because the perspiration cools the
body. Men have withstood without in
jury a heat of 800 degrees for several
Chicago Inter Ocean.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1898-04-20
THE CAUSE OF DYSPEPSIA.
From the Republican, Scranton. Pa.

The primary cause of dyspepsia is lack of
vitality; the absence of nerve force; the loss
of the DEMONSTRATING elements of the blood.
No organ can properly perform its func-
ton when the source of nutriment fails.
When the stomach is robbed of the nourish-
ment demanded by nature, assimilation
ceases, unnatural gases are generated; the
A practical illustration of the symptoms
and torture of dyspepsia is furnished by the
case of Joseph I. Vandyke, 440 Hickory St.,
Scranton, Pa.
In telling his story, Mr.. Vandyke says:
Give wears ago / was afflicted with q
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1898-04-20

begin
Mrs pnkham Lynn Mass advice free of all
have n hesitation about perfectly
Read what MRS B. A. LOMBARD Westdale, Mass,
nothing
health quite
monthly badly
said possible
fbrod womb without benefit
About called
everything
andth gone"
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1898-04-20

trouble of the stomach,
which was very aggravat-
ing. l had no appetite,
could not enjoy myself at
any time, and especially
was the trouble severe
when | awoke in the morn
ing. | did not know what
the ailment was, but it be-
came speedily worse, and
l was in constant misery.
81 called in my family
physician, and he dag
nosed the case as catarrh
of the stomach. He pre-
scribed for me and / had
Il
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1898-04-20
The Good 1t Did.

Mrs. Gossip-Did your advertisement for
butler in the Daily Blaze do you any good?
Mrs. Fadd-Oh, yes, the De Styles, the
Shoddys and the Van Bilkerings all saw it
and commented on it.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1898-04-20

pected until they are far
advanced.
So-called wandering
pains" may come from it's
early stages, or the pres
ence of danger. may be
made manifest by ex-
cessive menstruation ac-
companied by unusual
pain extending from the
ovaries down the groin
and thighs.
Ifyou have mysterious
pains, if there are indica-
tions of Inflammation or
displacement, don't wait
for time to confirm your
fears and go through
the horrors of a hospital
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1898-04-20
FIBROID TUMOR CONQUERED.
Lydia Compound State
I men Hrs. B. A

Pinkhams Vegetable
the dread Fbrod Tumor.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1898-04-20

The upper ten is composed of the win
ming nine and the umpire. Chicago News.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1898-04-20
Spring is the Time.
When Impurities in the Blood
Should Be Expelled
Americas Greatest Medicine Is the
Best Spring Medicine.

In winter months the perspiration, so
profuse in summer, almost ceases. This
throws back into the system the impurities
that should have been expelled through
the pores of the skin. This and other
causes makes the blood impure in spring.
Boils, pimples, humors and eruptions then
appear or some more serious disease may
take it's start. Hoods Sarsaparilla is the
remedy for impure blood in all its forms,
as proved by its marvellous cures of blood
diseases. It is therefore the medicine for
you to take in the spring. 1t expells ell
humors, and puts the whole system in good
condition for warmer weather.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1898-04-20

Self-love is not so great sin as self-for.
getting.-N. Y. Weekly.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1898-04-20
Hoods SarsapariIla

Is Americas Greatest Medicine. Sold by all
druggists. 81; six for S.. Get only Hoods.
La Junta tribune. (La Junta, Bent County, Colo.) 1881-1939, 1898-09-21

ablv keep him out of trouble on
this score in the future.
Why not own your own home
and save rent1 Look at the list
offered by Buckley & Hart.
Mrs. c. M. Robins returned yes
terday morning from Rocky Ford,
where she has been the guest Of
her daughter for several days.
Archdeacon Radcliffe will hold
divine services in St. Andrews
Episcopal church next Sunday
morning at 10 o'clock. Rev. Mr..
Henry may also be in attendance.
Rev. Robt. Coltman received
word Monday from his daughter,
Miss Jennie Coltman, announcing
her safe arrival in San Francisco
Wednesday evening. 1t was her
intention to sail for China last
Saturday morning.
Engineer Joseph Posi- returned
to La Junta Sunday afterHoon, his
first trip home since the wreck.
After the wreck he returned to
Dodge City and awaited his regular
turn out. He was not injured in
the least, and attributes his es-
cape to the fact that he hesitated
as to which side to jump. AS the
engine ran along over the ties and
showed no inclination to topple
over, he decided to stay with the
"machine," and to this decision he
probably owes his life.
Since the days of Finnegan of
"of agin, on agin, gone agin"
fame, railroad section foremen
have been more or less source of
amusement to their superiors. A
section forenoon on the Santa Fe,
in filing out report on the death
recently of a COW, sustained Finne-
gan's record. The blank for the
report asks the question, Twas
stock killed within corporation7"
The foreman's mind could NOT
contain the idea Of the word 'scor-
poration" meaning anything be-
sides the great Santa Fe railway,
and in answer to tnis question he
wrote: "No, but by corporation. /"
La Junta tribune. (La Junta, Bent County, Colo.) 1881-1939, 1898-09-21

For fresh bread, pies or cakes go
to Fishers, postoffice news stand.
A. c. Kennedy left on the BLY,
yesterday morning for Pueblo on
business trip.
All odd pieces in decorative
china going at a big discount at
Thompson's in order to close out
the stock.
Miss Lizzie Gilbert, OF Fowler,
arrived in this city last week, and
will take a months course at
the business college.
Miss Anna Huber, who went
east few weeks ago, is now To-
Gated at Mount Vernon, Ind, her
former home, and has ordered the
TRIBUNE sent to her address for an
indefinite period.
Miss Emma Wilson returned
from Chicago last Friday after
noon on one Of the delayed trains.
The millinery opening at Guy E.
Smiths will take place in the near
future. Miss Wilson promises a
millinery feast for the eyes of the
feminine portion of our community
on that occasion.
Nos. 3 and 4 will be put on
again early in October. The time
will be reduced several hours.
Barber shops will be placed in the
composite cars and an observation
car will be carried in addition to
the regular equipment. The train
will run solid from Chicago instead
of being consolidated with another
train as far as Topeka.
The Young man who was ar
rested in this city last week, after
a desperate struggle, on suspicion
Of being one John Thomas, who is
wanted in Topeka on a charge Of
murder, was released from custody
Saturday. His photograph was
sent to the Topeka officers from
this city, and they decided that he
was not the man wanted. He was
accordingly allowed to 60 his way,
with clearance card in his pocket
from Sheriff Barr, which will prob
La Junta tribune. (La Junta, Bent County, Colo.) 1881-1939, 1898-09-21
UNTA COUNTY COLORADO SEPTEMBER

-
line of jewelry in the county.
A fine display of parlor lamps,
in the latest designs-Stark & Co.
c. w. Fenlason, OF Rocky Ford,
was a county seat visitor yester-
day.
Eight per cent money for city or
farm loans. r. Gibson, Cen
trail block.
Highest cash price paid for
spring chickens and fresh ranch
eggs at the Bon-Ton.
Stark & Co., keep fine line of
dinner sets, toilet sets and china
ware of all descriptions.
]. b. Lynch, of Pueblo, the live
stock agent of the Santa Fe, was a
La Junta visitor Monday.
Highest cash price paid for fat
cattle, calves, poultry and produce
at the Columbia Meat Market.
M. Z. Farwell is receiving the
congratulations OF friends on the
arrival of boy at his home last
Saturday.
w. M. Jameson, of Trinidad,
the house furnishing man, was in
town Monday morning on a visit
to the local branch store.
The ladies of La Junta are in
vited to attend the millinery open
ing at Miss Humphreys, Sept.
22nd and 23rd, Library building.
Rev. ]. c. Horn, of Rocky Ford,
who was recently assigned to the
pastorate OF the NJ. E. church at
that place, was La Junta visitor
Monday.
Do You PAY RENT?-I have two
small suburban properties that l
will sell on easy monthly payments
and low interest rate. Call and
see about them. Frank Finney.
1t is rumored that changes are
in contemplation that will cause
number of railway boys to move to
La Junta, as the layover will be
there, according to reports-Dodge
City Republican.
The dance for the benefit of the
grandstand fund of the La Junta
Driving Park Association takes
place at the opera house next Tues
day evening, September 27th.
Everybody is invited.
There will be a business meet
ing of the congregation of the
Presbyterian church tonight for
the purpose Of electing two addi-
tional trustees and transacting
such other business as may pro-
perly come before the meeting.
Messrs. c. w. Bomgardner, ].
b. O'Neil and c. A. Beerbohm
made a sixty-mile trip to Lavita,
situated on the Missouri Pacific,
the first of the week. They sighted
herd of antelope on the trip, but
they were too far away to bring to
earth with shot from a rifle.
The democratic central commit
tee of Otero county met in Rocky
Ford last Saturday. The date OF
the primaries for electing delegates
to the county convention was fixed
for next Saturday. The county
convention will be held in La
Junta on the Monday following
September 26th.
There will be a meeting of the
Y. w. c. T. U. at the Methodist
church, Saturday, September a4th,
at 3 p. m. Rev. Martin will de-
liver an address, and the following
programme will be rendered:
Recitation, Lucy Rockwell; recita-
ton, Rosa White; reading, Goldie
McMillen; solo, Alletta Cook. A
cordial invitation is extended to all.
B. F. Gleasman, of the Hol-
brook country, has purchased the
photograph gallery of ID. w. Car
penter, on Ration avenue. Mr..
lGleasman will take possession
La Junta tribune. (La Junta, Bent County, Colo.) 1881-1939, 1898-09-21
locA, AND PERSONAL ,ruas.

Joys for ewelry.
Trade at the Palace drug store.
School books and supplies at
Joys Pharmacy.
Melvin Bros. pay fancy prices
for fancy fat stock. See them,
For SALE-4so old ewes, well
bred. Inquire of G. r. Buckley.
Fred A. Sabin went to Denver
on No. S Mondey morning on legal
business.
r. A. Eddleman and T. D.
Foley went to Pueblo on the BLY,
Monday morning.
You can never complete nice
Sunday dinner without going to
Melvin Bros. market.
J. P. Hall, of Denver, general
passenger agent of the Santa Fe,
was in town last Saturday
A fine assortment of new peaches
just received OF Melvin Bros. ;
They are cheap and going FAST.
c. l.. Mcpherson, of Holly, a
brother of Mrs. Austin Joy, was in
town Monday morning, going east
on No. 8.
Fireman John Meehan, who has
been on the sick list for the past
two months, reported for duty
Monday morning.
Fireman John Beattie went to
Pueblo yesterday morning, hav-
ing been assigned to a run out of
that city for time.
Mrs. r. E. CHATTER has removed
her dressmaking parlors to the
residence property one door east
of the Presbyterian church.
Miss Elton Stone, Of Syracuse,
Kan, who has been the gnest of
Miss Anna vanInwagen for several
weeks. revurned home MosAay
Miss Bessie Daniels, Of Har-
risonville, Mo-, is the guest Of her
cousin, Mrs. DR.. E. w. Ragsdale,
arriving in this city Yesterday
morning.
]. M. Foley and Peter Kranz
went to Lamar on No. 8 Monday
morning to look after their build
ing interests now under way in
that city.
B. M. Spalding returned Satur-
day night on No. 6 from Glenwood
Springs, where he had been at
tending the sessions of the grand
lodge Knights Of Pythias.
Stark & Co., have just received
a carload of furniture, embracing
the latest designs in bedroom suits
and everything servicable for the
household. Call and get prices.
Mrs. ]. Gordon Smith, of Colo
RADIO Springs, is visiting her
brother-in-law, Guy E. Smith, and
Miss Wilson. Mrs. Smith will be
remembered as Mrs. Harry Russell,
formerly resident of La Junta.
S. r. Mendelson YVES busily en-
gagged for the first three days of
the present week in unpacking a
large consignment of new goods,
which arrived last Saturday. He
has some bargains to offer you in
his ad this week.
Tickets for the occasion Of the
Trans Mississippi National Expo
sition at Omaha, June 1st to No
vember Ist. 1898, will be on sale
from May goth to October 18th.
Call at ticket Office for rates, route
and trains.-W. o. Skinner, agent.
D. B. Carey returned Sunday
morning from Omaha, where he
had been on legal business. He
visited the exposition, and says
that it is marvel of completeness
and second only to the worlds fair.
The attendance thus far has been
excellent.
The tenants Of several of the
buildings on the lots surrounding
the court house park have been