The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1898-08-06
AMUSING REPARTEES.
Speciments of Wit in Which Tenny-
SON elighted-Rules for Prac-
tice of the Art.

Tennyson had small collection OF
choice repartees. They were not new.
They were indeed even more venerable
than the illustrious author Eat they
satisfied him, and fulfilled his require
ments by being delicate, stinging and
ambiguous. People who did not know
Tennyson were apt to say, in spite of
the Northern Farmer. that he had NO
sense of humor. There would not,
without the Northern Farmer, be much
humor in his poems. But there was a
good deal in his talk, and no man told
an amusing story with more effect or
more enjoyment. If he liked, as he did
like riddles and puns, so did Hood,
and Hood was certainly a humorist
There seems to be a large stock Of
repartees in the world. Mr. Burnand,
II we remember rightly, once UNDER
took to supply them for all classes,
and began alphabetically with repair
tee to an able The point of the Joke
was that the repartee was to be en-
tirely independent of anything the abbs
had said. But as there are no longer
any abbes, that did not much matter.
For the proper use of repartees it is
necessary either to recollect or to un-
derstand them, and it is desirable,
when possible, to do both. Such was
not the case with an undergraduate
who remarked upon the shortness of a
friends gown. and received for answer.
1t will be long before l buy another"
hugely delighted with this witticism,
which is, we believe, in technical lam
guage, an amphibiology he said to the
next acquaintance he met, my gown
is short, but ii will be a long time be-
fore l buy another" To his surprise
and chagrin, the other merely stared
and did not laugh. What are the con-
ditlons of repartee? 1t should be
courteous in form, severe in substance.
difficult either to mistake or to resent.
such was the famous reply of Provost
Goodall to William w., which one of
our correspondents has already cited.
but which will bear repetition. when
he goes said the king, speaking to
keate and pointing to Goodall, when
he goes, I'll make you him." "I
couldn't think of going before your
majesty" said the provost, with pro-
found bow. Nothing could be more alb
solutely perfect. The king had been
brutally rude. The provost was ex-
tremely courteous. But a sterner re-
Duke was never administered to mon
arch by subject This is far better and
more truly humorous than Wilkes
smart retort TO the prince of Wales.
Wilkes was whistling God Save the
King" How long nave you taken
to that tune?' asked the prince. Ever
since l had the honor of your royal
highness acquaintance" Here the
brutality is on the side of Wilkes and
there is not sufficient provocation to
excuse it.
Among complimentary repartees the
first place must be given for stateli-
ness and dignity to the famous an
swer of Sergeant Maynard. The SER
geant was presented to the prince Of
Orange in 1928 as the Oldest practicinp
member of the bar The prince OBJ
served rather awkwardly, "You must
have survived most of your contempor-
aries in the law?" YES" replied Ser
ecant Maynard, land if it had not been
for your highness / would have sur
viVed the law, too" That is the reyo-
luton in a nutshell and one of the
great sayings of the world. Mr Glad
stone thinks the best repartee he ever
heard in the house of commons was
Lord John Russell's. Sir Francis Bur-
dett, after turning Tory, taunted Lord
John with the cant Of patriotism"
81 will show the honorable baronet a
worse thing than the cant of patriot
ism. | mean the recant of patriotism"
That, no doubt, is very clever, being
spirited, and was, in the circumstan-
ces, thoroughly we'll deserved. But If
one must be hypercritcal it is too
purely verbal to rank in the highest |
class of all. Lord Ellenborough's par |
liamentary aside strikes us are better. |
My lord" said a pomOus Ueer, Il |
put the question to myself" And a |
precious silly answer you must have |
got was Lord Ellenborough's COM |
ment. Lord Ellenborough, though a |
chief justice, did not say precious" |
Language changes, If thought does not |
1t is difficult, however to believe that |
any member of the house of commons |
said in debate, II will have the noble
lords head" If he did Lord North's
prompt retort that for no earthly con-
sideration would he have the honor
able gentleman's," has great merit. II
was very funny, it was at least conf
polite, and il applied the |
weapon of ridicule where any other
would have been misplaced DR.. John
son was master of repartee. But he
had no delicacy, no lightness of touch.
There was some truth in the criticism
by Boswell that IL Johnson's
pistol missed fire,he KNOCKED you down
with the butt end, A typical instance
Is the case of poor Miss Harry, whom
he abused so numerically for becom-
ing a Quaker. Consider, sir, that YOU
must expect to meet her in heaven"
Madam, l am not fond of meeting
fools anywhere" That is vigorous
enough. But there is no real wit in It.
and not much more than simple rude
ness. If Erskine actually said to the
client who declared that he would be
hanged If he didn't defend himself
'You'll be hanged if you do" he ought
10 have been profoundly grateful for
he opening. There are remarks, of
which this is one. that seems to have
no other reason for existence than the
of an obvious repartee.
For simplicity and cruelty, nothing
Gould surpass Mr. Rogers repartee to I
Lady Davy. 80, Mr.. Rogers, hear
you have been attacking me-" "At-