The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1898-07-09

of his cabin and braced his back
against the logs. "Yes, sab. the kurnel
come over yere one day, and arter we'd
had a nip from the jug he says:
"'Abe Hope, do yo' know what's
holdin' the state of Arkansaw back,
like cow tied to post? DO yo' know
why we amt leadin' the hull world in |
arts and sciences and progress? Do 70
know why we amt selln' con, cotton
and hawgs 10 the civilized world, and |
why every man OF us cant draw his |
check fur hundred thousand dollarsY
"'Reckon / don't says /.
""Then I'll tell YOU says the kur-
mel. It's jest because only about one
family In ten has a clock. Most OF us
go by the sun. and we lay abed till
nine or ten o'clock in the forenoon. we
lose third OF the time every year. If
we was to git up at six o'clock in the
mawnin' and hustle around, same as
them Yankees do. we'd raise sich craps
that we'd all be rich In a year or two
"'Then why don't we git clocksT
says l.
"sToo drafted lazy says he. Won't
none Of us go to town 10 buy clock,
but IL a person was to come along TO
the house we'd dicker in no time tail.
Abe Hope, yo' ar the man. Io've got
the money, and yo'ye got mewl and a
wagln'. Riches and honah and profit
ar waitin' fur yo' same as they did for
Christopher Columbus.
And so you went into clocks" l
asked.
"Dawg-gone II, but 1 did, sah," ex-
claimed the old man. II didn't skass-
" wait TO figger, but sent up moth and
bought hundred clocks-all OF 'em
strikin' clocks. When they arrove,
wound era up and loaded 'em into the
wagiu and set off, 70 know Jim Par
ker's cabin, over the hill? driy there
fust, and as | got along Jim was sit
tin on log outside.
"'Hello, Abe-what 20 got?' says he.
"'Clocks,' says I-'clocks what strike
and turn yo' out o bed and sot 20 TO
work at six o'clock in the mawnin'.
How many dye want?'"
"And he was your first customer?
eh?"
''No, sah--wasn't no customer about
st." replied Abe. Jim had bin gittin
up by the sun fur Is years, and dom
about two hours work day. He didn't
want no clock TO turn him outen bed at
six. He just laughed at the idea. j let
every one o. them hundred clocks strike
12 times fur him. but he wouldn't even
trade a coon-skin fur the hull lot. Said
he'd be dawg- goned TO Texas If he was
goin' to hcy anythin' in the house TO
boss him around"
"Bui you tried others?" / asked.
"Ill tell yo' what did, sab" replied
Abe, with considerable temper in his
voice. III hauled them drafted clocks
around the kentry fur TO weeks and
never sold blessed one. Some O the
folks said they was woke up by roost
ers, and some by the dawgs, nevis, OF
young 'uns. got discouraged NJ last
and hauled the clocks home; and ] was
so tarnel mad that Kurnel Bunker
dasnt come around. The state OF Ar.
kansaw wasn't cryn' to git up at sis
o'clock in the mawnin' and 90 10 work
II anybody was gittin' up at that hour
he was goin' arter catfish"
''But you finally got rid Of them?"
81 did, sab, but how was il? Nigger'
around yere had camp-meetin up oil
the hill, and when they heard abou
them clocks they offered to decker Will
me--a hundred coon skins fur the hun
dred clocks. Coon skins was wulh onl,
20 ceats apiece, but | took 'em ant
was Glad 20 do It. Them darlSies tool
them clocks up TO the camp meetin
appointed TO men 10 keep 'em woun'
up, and they kept the hull lot Of 'en
strikin' all day and all night fur
week. 1t was jest the kind OF musi
they liked, yo' know, and they couldn'
git 'nuf OF il. BY the time the meetin
was over every clock was worn out an
only good fur the picaninnies TO pla
with. | lost upwards OF a hundred do
lars, sab, and | reckon the state o
Arkansaw didn't jump ahead a singh
foot"
"And didn't you also go into gourd
by the advice OF Col. Bunker" aske
after awhile.
"Drat the folks-who told yo' abou
that?" exclaimed Abe, as he reused al
"Yes, sab, il was Kurnel Bunker VIII
advised me TO 60 into gourds. He come
over yere one day on that spotted hos
% his. and finds me sittin' in the SUI
same as now, and he reaches into Oh
doah fur the jug and takes nip, an
then says:
"Abe White, I'm listenin' TO a voi'
which is like the roar Of Niagara. IL
the wall of $4,000 inhabitants in Il
state OF Arlsansaw.'
"What's the folks a-wallin' fuiT
asks.
"Fur man 10 rise up and lead 'e
60 riches and happiness, says he. Al
White. yo' know all about gourd
Every man In Arkansaw raises gour'
In his truck patch. We use 'em II
clippers mostly. They are all the san
oolor--a pale yaller. They are pa
waller when they are CROWN, and Il
.rt.. l. noter VII when yo' hcv clean,