The Monmouth inquirer., 1898-12-08
A MISERABLE WIFE.

/ the profits.
| ! looked at the speaker admiringly.
He was about fifty years old, and as
robust as man of thirty. His wniskers
neatly trimmed. showing a full red
cheek. He wore jaunty- hat, and natty
cntaway coat and below his vest hung
a single fob and heavy gold seal | was
| proud OF him. He was such a perfect
specimen of a New York gentleman
from the rural districts that wanted
to imprint MS picture on my memory.
$50 your wife is miserable?'
Eyes. Kinder dropping, with a dry
cough. and no ambition. She Just kinder
drags around the house and looks so
+ peaked and scrawny it gives me the
blues. 1t does, swan
Naturally weakly, wasn't she?"
"Shel Oh, no. When | married her.
sne, was the smartest girl on the creek.
She used to work for my father, and
the way she made the work stand
around took my eye. She was a poor
girl and her industry got her a rich
husband
Here he took out gold waten, look
ed at the time, put it back and adjusted
the silk fob on the front of his nicely
! fitting trousers.
80 she did well, getting married on
account of her industry?''
Why, of course She was getting
only two dollars and fifty cents week,
and she became mistress of a farm
Excuse me, how muca are you worth
w-eonfidentially, you know? I am a
scientific man, and will never use such
facts to your injury with the assessor. z
We'll, professor. l could crowd fifty
thousand pretty hard"
THAT is good How long have you
been married?'
Thirty years next Fourth of July
We went down to Albany on a little
teeter, and | proposed the match and
Jane was willing"
How much do you suppose you have
made in these thirty years."
Hum-um-lemme see, I got the
Davis farm the first ten years, then |
run in debt for the Simmons place, got
war prices for my cheese and squared
up both places. Well, think / have
cleared up thirty thousand dollars since
we spliced.y
Very good, indeed And your wife
has been a great halp all this timer"
"Oh, you bet! She was rattler! She
took care of her baby, and the milk
from twenty cows. I tell you sac made
the tinware flop. Why, we have had
four children, and she never had a
hired girl over six months in that
time
Splendid, and you have cleared
thirty thousand dor srs in that timer
Eyes, easy
Nov, how much has your wife
made?"
She? Why. durn it, professor. she is
my wife?"
4 know it. But what has she made?
You say she was poor when you mar
ried ner Now, what has she made?"
Why, you beat all! Why, she is my
wife, and we own it al. together.
DO you? Then she can draw on
your bank account? Then she has a
horse and carriage when sac wants
them? Then she has servant girl
when she wants one2 Then she rides
/ out for her health, and has watch
and gold chain as you do? Is that so?''
Professor, you must be crazy. No
body's wife is boss in that shape. Who
ever heard of such thing?"
Nov, look here. You say she did
well in marrying rich, and / cannot see
it. If she was getting two dollars and
fifty cents per week when you married
her. and had saved her wages, she
would have had now three thousand six
hundred dollars. If sne had invested it,
she would have had five thousand dol
lars. Now you tell me she is broken
4 down used up and miserable and looks
so badly she makes you sick and she
has no money no help and will probably
get nothing but a Scotch granite tomb.
! stone wnen she dies"
Professor if you was younger man
would lick you quicker'n spring
| lamb can jump thistle"
| What for? / am stating this case
/ fairly, am / not2 Your wife is no
longer handsome. Her hands are as
hard as local editors cheek. and she
has stopped over milk can until she
] has a hump on ner back like pedler.'
Shut up, will your
"She has raised four children. One OF
them is at college. One taking music
lessons in Boston. The other two are
teaching school. She is ait home alone
going around in a treadmill life which
| will end in rosewood coffin and first
4 class country funeral"
Stop that, professor viii your"
While you are still handsome man
/ with just enough gray in your whiskers
J to make you look interesting. No dpub,