davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1898-12-23

For the present winter season the
Louisville Il Nashville Railroad Com
pany has improved its already nearly
perfect through service of Pullman
Vestibuled Sleeping Cars and elegant
dav coaches from Cincinnati, Louis.
vile, st. Louis and Chicago, to Mobile,
New Orleans and the Gulf Coast,
Thomasville, Ga, Pensacola, Jackson
Vile. Tampa, Pain Beach and other
points in Florida. Perfect connection
will be made with steamer lines for
Cuba. Porto Rico. Nassau and West
Indian ports. Tourist and Home
Seekers excursion tickets on sale at
low rates. Write c. p. Atmore, Gen
eral Passenger Agent, Louisville, Ky,
for particulars.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1898-12-23
SCIENTIFIC TOPICS.
Current Notes of Interesting and Instructive
Discoveries and Inventions.

fit. The newest cushion today is the
one whose cover is made of the famous
canvas work in cross stitch. The
beauty of this cross stitch work is in
it's possibilities of infinite gradatiCns
Of color; with an intricate design one
can use ten or fifteen shades Of the
worsteds. The pillow is finished with
a ruffle combining two or three rows
of inch wide ribbon of the shades
together or embroidered with herring
bone or buttonhole.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1898-12-23

A. B. Stickney. president OF the Chi
cago Great Western Railway. mas re-
ceived the following cable from Lon
don: London, December 7, 1898. A.
B. Stickney: Reported here that At
Gibson, Topeka & Santa Fe and Rock
Island & Pacific have given notice Of
boycott against Chicago Great Western
Railway. Is it true, and what will it
amount to-" The following is A. B.
Stickney's answer: Their last boy
colt increased the west bound business
of the Chicago Great Western Railway
to Kansas City from less than four 20
more than ten per cent. Too early to
say how profitable the present boycott
will be-
About the time an elevator boy gets
Il little way up in the world some one
is sure to call him down.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1898-12-23
A Picture Puzzle.

We give you as a picture puzzle, this
week, an illustration Of what the scien-
lists call paradox in gravity. The
cut represents Two walking sticks lying
on two boo; If different height. At
a point jus, eyond the lower book,
the sticks tou> each other, and at the
other end they part, forming the
figure of the lette
Upon the sticks is ,ody, formed by
two pasteboard cones glued together.
Please observe particularly that the
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1898-12-23
They say that music stimulates the
Tried to Make IT I'm.

waiter" said the bicyclist at the
little country inn, bring me three
eggs and boil them four minutes"
Fifteen minutes elapse, and the
waiter returns with one egg.
Very sorry. sir, our eggs is out
This is the only one we had left-but
We boiled it twelve minutes, SIR
Harper's Bazaar.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1898-12-23
Consistent.

did you climb the Alps?" asked the
young woman.
mo" answered Mr. Cumrox, eve
meant to, but we couldn't get accom-
modations anywhere except ON the Sec
ond floor of hotel that had no ele-
yator. So we went right away"
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1898-12-23

slant of the two sticks is towards the
end where they touch each other; that
is to say, the touching point is down
hill Now, if we place this double
cone at the middle of the sticks. and
release it, what will be the result? In
which direction will the cone roll?
Give the reason with your answer. Two
Club Monogram books will be awarded
on Thursday, as usual.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1898-12-23
VERY Low RATES.
Via the Missouri, Kansas and Texas
Railway.

Via the Missouri, Kansas and Texas
Railway.
Semi-monthly excursions to the
Southwest. The greatest opportunity
to visit Texas, the empire state of the
union, unparalleled as to resources and
products and with an area exceeding
all the Eastern and Middle states. The
statistical reports of products as com
piled by the commissioners of Texas
indicate this section as having the
greatest possible advantages i'll it,
mild and equable climate and in the
variety and productiveness OF its soil.
For further information, descriptive
pamphlet and dates of excursions, ap'
ply to r. B. Cookery, D. P. A., Des
Moines Iowa.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1898-12-23

lola.
When you come across the ocean,
Mister lola, kindly say
That you haven't any notion
That you'll give us all away.
For were quite disposed to mention,
Mister lola. sir that we
Do not like the strong attention
Which We might expect from thee.
We're averse to being treated,
Mister lola. on the plan
That our morals are all fetid
In tho social garbage can.
While we know YOU are wonder.
Mister lola. and wit.
If you soil us. well. by thunder!
We shant like it. sir bit!
cleveland PlaindealeY.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1898-12-23

Excursion tickets will be sold at all
stations on the North Western line &C..
& N. w. R'y, G. st. p. NJ. & o. R'y, S.
c. & P. R'y and F. E. & M. V. R. r. to
all other points on this system and on
the Union Pacific Railroad, within 200
miles of the selling station, at greatly
reduced rates, December "a, rs, &c and
81, 1898, and January l and 2, 1899,
good until January 4, 1899. Apply to
agents Chicago & Northwestern R'y
for full particulars.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1898-12-23

ly been brought out by western COM
pany, which builds such railroad sup
plies. With two men in the saddles,
a speed of almost that of an ordinary
railroad train can be secured. The
construction is exceedingly light and
the running easy.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1898-12-23
$500 PER WEEK.

We will pay a salary of SIS per week
for man with rig to introduce Perfec-
ton Poultry Mixture in the country.
the greatest egg producer on earth.
Address with stamp. Perfection Mfg.
Co.. Parsons, Kansas.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1898-12-23

She-fou know love you. but don't
YOU think we had better not marry
until you get an increase of salary?
ile-Oh. we won't have TO live en-
tirely on my salary. have been
looking around a little, and think
know where can get you position
also
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1898-12-23

The vicar Of Skegby, England, was
conducting marriage where the bride
was regular attendant at Sunday
school. When she was asked: "Wilt
thou have this man to be thy welded
hushand?" she replied: YES. verify,
by Gods help, so will. and heartily
thank our Heavenly Father, who hath
brought me into the state of sal
vution.'
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1898-12-23
Can You Solve This Puzzle Verse7

"A simple go-between am I,
Without q thought Of pride;
r par. the gathered thoughts OF men, -ast
set the soul of Shakespeare free,
TO Millions thoughts. give liberty.
Bid Sidney speak with freer speech,
Let Spenser sing and Taylor preach.
Though through all learning swift glide.
No wisdom doth with me abide
If you can solve the foregoing, and
send the correct answer to George H.
Heafford, General Passenger Agent,
Chicago, Milwaukee & St. Paul Rail-
way, Old Colony Building, Chicago, to-
gether with a two-cent stamp, he VIII
send you what it calls for.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1898-12-23
The Worlds Supply Of Wheat,

An English expert claims that the
wheat producing soil of the world is
unequal to the strain that will be put
upon it. Even now when the food
supply is ample, thousands die because
their disordered stomachs fail to digest
the food they take. Hostetter's Stom-
ach Bitters strengthen and tone up
the stomach and digestive organs.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1898-12-23

"What are You working on now?'
was asked of a man who is always in
venting but never invents. ~ -.
Nothing very big just at present.
Pm about completing a method for
calculating compound interest with a
ru bier stamp
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1898-12-23

The suns rays in winter are highly
appreciated.
There's only one soap IN the world for
me.
That's the soap they call the Dia-
mOnd &C.,
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1898-12-23

10 make 1000 watch movements by
hand would c ,,t $50, So; by machinery
they are produced ut an expense of
81 100
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1898-12-23

CHEApEST DAILY IN TIE WORLD.
TIE i"S Me ines DAII.i NEW = is tn" ON y dol lar
daily in the world. Its subscription rice is Il II
year. - cents for six nlunths. 10 cents for three
mont his. J., cent month. The dollar ra Q has been
in force over three years and S no experiment.
and IT. has increased tie crculat o OF the NEWS
to ?aaOO. FAR the largest of any iowa daily. The
DAILY NEWS is Il mcmncr of he A>slciat cd Pre- ).
and gives II daily ,ClegrG plic IA KIT report and all
tie hews of Iowa an the world, condensed for bus
people. Its Saturday issue contains attractive
pages for women and children and valuable liter
AIRY matter. The Saturday issue is alone worth the
price of the paper. BE up with the times. read Il
daily paper and keep posted. Address, THE
NEWS, Les Moincs. Iowa.
After marriage a girl becomes too
economical. to cry on her husband S
coat collar.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1898-12-23
STORY EFT ES.

One day, when Sir Walter and Lady
Scott were roaming alb out their estate,
they saw some playful lambs in a
meadow. And" said Sir Walter, "'tis
no wonder that poets from the earliest
ages have made the lamb the emblem
Of peace and innocence!'' They are
indeed delightful animals, said Lady
Scott, particularly with mint sauce"
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1898-12-23

A catalogue of 300 prizes suitable to
every tas,e and condition mailed on
inquiry. Prizes given for saving Dia
mond &C. Soap wrappers. Address
Cudahy Soap Works, South Omaha,
Nebraska.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1898-12-23
Never SwOre.

Witness said the cross-examining
lawyer, are you willing to swear that
the prisoner was smoking pipe at the
time?"
NO. SIR" replied the witness, II
never swear. But am willing to bet
you G5 to a shilling that he was."-
London Punch
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1898-12-23

The Sheffield Milling Co., Faribault,
Mimi, enjoys an enviable reputation
Their GOLD MINE brand Of FLOUR
has no equal. Try it and be convinced.
All prOcers or flour dealers.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1898-12-23

Dropsy treated free by DR.. Fl Fl Green's
Sons, of Atlanta. Ga. The greate,t dropsy
specialists in the wJrll Read their adver.
tisement in another column of this paper
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1898-12-23
After the Play.

And how did you like Miss Raven
rant IN her new role?'
"Oh, fine. She wore some of the
most exquisite costumes ever saw
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1898-12-23

Che morning Enpel or William. who
has a great penchant for building
churches, was riding in his carriage
on Inter den Linden. when and old
gentleman espea him from distance.
AMI Immediately barred his head
Which was as bald as a billiard bal!.
Suddenly the old gentleman felt some.
body touching his shoulder. and heard
voice behind him saying: Say, old
man, You had better cover you head,
for wherever the emperor notices a
bald spot he'll surely build church. >
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1898-12-23

A woman loves her dog all the more
when another dog whips it: man will
get rid of his.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1898-12-23
Can't Call the Bluff.

Can't Call the Blum.
What do you call that eminence?"
asked the tourist.
I'VE don't call it nothing" answered
Pieface Johnson. That there, l guess,
is the only bluff in this country that
amt been called. '-Cincinnati En-
quirer.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1898-12-23

Mud has a tendency to make the
average mortal melancholy.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1898-12-23

* n'aAond &c" Soap is made by tne
Cudahy Packing Co. of South Omaha.
Sold by grocers everywhere.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1898-12-23

WANrE Case of had health that R-lP.AN.S
VIII not hcncht. Send j cents To lpans Chemical
Co., New York for 10 samples and 1000 testimonials
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1898-12-23
A Portable Elevator.

We give in this issue an illustration
of unique portable combined power
and elevator, for the east, economical
and expeditions handling Of farmers
grain and seeds. For years farmers
have labored at a great disadvantage
in handling their grain. after harvest
ing it. While possessing improved
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1898-12-23
A Doubt.

he contemplated him scornfully.
'4You have made me what am he
y tested.-
@Hes," she replied, coldly; II was
1E wondering if you were worth
~ king over"
For the mind of woman is nothing
IN often than it used to be.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1898-12-23

DIR. Seth Arnold's Cough Killer
ls an excellent remedy children. Mrs. Win. ".
FrOgue, Columbus, Kan. 25c. u bottle.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1898-12-23
A ~ Sofa CuRhiOns.

The sofa cushion has become as
mich a part of the home wardrobe as
the shirt waist is OF the personal out
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1898-12-23

A thief may take a thing easy, but
he al ways takes it hard when he is
caught
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1898-12-23

You may laugh and grow fat your
self, but you must use corn for your
hogs.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1898-12-23

Same Thing.
Il understand that she had an uncle
who committed suicide"
We'll, yes, you might call it that.
He stole a horse out in Arizona"
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1898-12-23

The expense of running an Atlantic
steamer for three years exceeds the
cost of its construction.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1898-12-23

Save the wrappers around Diamond
&c" Soap. They are VIC Il money.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1898-12-23
Theory.

II wonder why Fillups drinks so
much?'
I've had an idea that he does it to
get the taste of his conversation out of
his mouth"
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1898-12-23
OUR BUDGET OF FUN.
SOME GOOD JOKES, ORIGINAL
AND SELECTED.

Variety OF JOkes-Gibes and Ironies
Original and Selected-Flotsam aud
Jetsam from the Tide OF Humor-
Witty Sayings.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1898-12-23

There is more Catarrh in this sect ION of
the country THAI all other diseases put to-
gcthcr. and until the last few years was
supposed to be intura bic. For Il great
many years doctors pronounced il local
disease and prescribed local remedies aud
by constantly failing to cure with local trent
meat. pronounced it nrul;, bic. Science has
proven Cat&lrh to be Il constitutional dis
case and therefore requires constitutional
treatment. Halls Catarrh Cure. manufac
turcd by +. j. Cheney 4 Co.. Toledo. Ohio,
is the only constitutional cure on the mar
ket. 1t is taken internally in doses from
lOdrops toa teaspoonful. It acts directly on
the blood and mucous surfaces of the system.
They offer one hundred dollars for any case
il fails to cure. Send for circulars and ties
timonialS. Address.
f. j. CHENEY & Co..
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1898-12-23

Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup.
For children teething softens the gums, reduces IN.
danmatlon allays pain. wind collie Csc bottle.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1898-12-23

1t is estimated that during the pre-
sent century 3O,OCO,OOO men have lost
their lives in war.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1898-12-23
Not Down to the VfOttOn,.

you boast of your greater civiliza-
tion!' exclaimed the Indian con-
temptuously.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1898-12-23

Hope for the future is a tacit admis-
sion of evil in the present.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1898-12-23

Isn't it strange how people can treat
you coldly when they get hot at you?
We will forfeit 81 900 if any of our pub
lished testimonials are proven to be not
genuine. The PI>O Co., Warren, Pa.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1898-12-23

There is only one genuine Diamond
&C" Soap. See that the name IS on
the wrapper.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1898-12-23

Speaking of fire works, David was
the original giant cracker.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1898-12-23

The fireplace is the incest corner
now at ghts.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1898-12-23

A gossip always thinks she was cut
out for Il iourna i>t.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1898-12-23
Cheapest DAILY WHITE WORLD.

1t is always easy Tor Il hypocritc t
CIV.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1898-12-23

Riches sometimes fly away from tn"
honest man and light on ,he perch
erected bv the other fellow.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1898-12-23
Go South This Winter.

1t is easier to tell fool by his laugh
than any other way
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1898-12-23

The MN Who is dissatisfied with his
work is never happy
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1898-12-23

mo, sir. The Indian has been drag
ged down by your influence, but he is
still superior. He may drink intoXicat-
ing liquor But he doesn't smash the
bottles on the ashphalt for bicycles to
run over"
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1898-12-23
Lanes Family Medicine.

The man who starts out to meet
trouble never has to go half way.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1898-12-23

Mrs. Tracy-"You would not part
with your little WHEY for all the money
in the world, would you, my dear?"
Tracy-"Not much! Money talks,
but there is not enough OF it in the
world to take your place."
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1898-12-23

At life's banquet the scum is often
mistaken for the cream.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1898-12-23
Holiday Excursions.

A man should associate with his
EQUALS or live alone.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1898-12-23
A Useless Question.

Neversweat NicodemUs-Arey
single man, Toliver?
Tattered To!liver-Say, eff YES
double Ia he in dime museum.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1898-12-23

Moves the bowels each day. In order
to be healthy this is necessary. Acts
gently on the liver and kidneys. Cures
sick headache. Price % and SOC.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1898-12-23

Mark Twain, in his account of the
German language, tells how the in
teIgent German p!unges into sea of
verbiagc and comes up on the other
side. like dog, with his verb in his
mouth The same idea is illustrated
in a story, told in the Century. of Il
lady who once listened, through an
interpreter. to q speech made by Bis
marck. All went well for Il time. as
the low voice Of the pains-tak;ny
translator rendered with some
adequacy the thought Of Bismarck.
Then there were short pau>es. followed
by rapid little summaries of what had
been said. As these grew more and
more frequent. the lady beca,ue irri-
tated. Finally there was an entire
cessation on the part OF the inter-
prefer, and yet Bismarck was going
right on with cver-increasing vehe-
,nence. There We're constant calls
from the lady Of "Whats he saying:
What's he saying?' and an increase Of
Impotence proportionate to the grow
ing violence of the speaker. Finally
the wretched interpreter could stand
the strain no longer. and, turning
with gesture of fierce resentment to
his excited employer, he Kissed:
Madam, | am waiting for the verb!'
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1898-12-23

Take Laxative l}r0mo QuiaiDc TIA bets. All
druggists refund IN" money IL it fails 20 cure"
.5c The q" nin" hn u ~. on each Ia blet
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1898-12-23
Goes Cough Balsam

1t isn't necessary for man to be an
artist in order to draw attention.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1898-12-23
SlanderOus.

McSwatters-"You don't have to use
any brain work in playing golf."
McSwitters-"That's why it's so pop
ular with society. "-Syracuse Herald
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1898-12-23

All the women of Hawaii are expert
eouestrians. and they all ride astrlde
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1898-12-23


is the oldest and best twill break up cold quicker
than anything else. 1t is always reliable. Try it.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1898-12-23
Railroad inspectors Wheel.

A railroad inspection car built on
the principle of the bicycle has recent
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1898-12-23

Sold by Druggists, i5c.
Halls Family Pills are the best
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1898-12-23

a small Scotch boy was once sum-
moned to give evidence against his
father who was accused of making a
disturbance in the streets. Said the
bailie to him: Come. my wee man,
speak the truth. an let us hear all We
ken about th, affair."" "Wecl, sir. y
said the lad. "d'yc ken Inverness
street," II do. laddie, replied the
magistrate. "Wcel. We gang along it
and turn into the square. aud GROSS the
sqlart--' Yes, yes said the
bAiIic. cnrouragingly. And when We
gang across the square ye tnrn to the
right ard mp High street. and keep up
Bigh street till ye come to a pump.
"Quite light, my lad: proceed" said
the magistrates: II know the old pump
WELL" "Weel." said the boy, with the
most nfantile simplicity, ''ye may
gang and pump it, for yell no pump
me.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1898-12-23

+. j. CHENEY & Co..
r,J,,In nh IN