The evening times., 1898-07-14
FROM LOVERS TO FRIENDS.
A Tactful Belle Can Accomplish
This Desirable Change.

This Desirable Change.
1t is rare thing to dnd young wo-
man who changes a lover into friend
or married woman who has retained
her girihood admirers as her friends
Perhaps this Is a wise provision of ma
ture to insure peace of mind to husbands.
Or 1t may be that Benjamin Franklin
was right when he said. after three
days men grow weary of a wench. a guest
! and rainy weather" A bachelor. a girl
and young matron had a discussion
over this problem not long ago:
81 never in my life saw a person who
changed young men as often as you do, -
said the matron, facing the girl squareiy
For a Few weeks you are mad on one
set, and they drop out one py one and
are never heard of-that Is, from you
again; and the next thing your friends
Know IS that you have another dozen on
the string. How is it? Why don't you
retain these men as friends--.
The girl blushed and hesitated, and The
bachelor put in:
"Oh, that's hard thing for the aver
age woman to do. woman mus be
worldly-wise indeed. to convert a cater
pillar into butterfly, and then change
the butterfly back to caterpillar again.
You ask this poor little girl why she
can't make all the men who fall in love
with her fall out of love with her. and
then become fond of her In a friendly
way. Do you know what Balzac says:
He says: Man may go from aversion to
love; but when he has begun by loving
and has reached aversion. he never re-
turns to love- When this girl meets a
man the first thing he does is to fall in
love with her. Some women have that
faculty Of compelling men to love them
in lover-like way. and she is one of
them. OF course. she cannot love them
all. and when she tells them so one by
one their pride is hurt She might spend
the best part of her time trying to turn
her lovers into friends. and maybe she
would succeed with ten out Of 4 thou
sand; but I doubt it,
"Bosh! exclaimed the matron.
There's something lacking In a wom-
ans makeup IL she can't retain her low
ers as friends I've done 1t and with
out any trouble. How did I manage?
There wasn't any managing about it.
I was one of those vivacious, dashing
girls. and about the first thing a man
began to do when we first met was to
make love to me. Nine out of ten be-
gan It all in fun. but got in earnest I'd
let them say what they pleased. and I
did the same. but never put anything
in black and white, and I held myself
above my beaus. That's the real Sc
cret OF a woman's power. If she puts
herself on a pedestal, and says to her
admirers. Hands OF! I'm above you:
I'm out Of your reach. and you mustn't
even stretch up after me. for you'll only
succeed in hurting yourself they'll wor-
ship her."
IT think 1t would be a very vain kind
of woman who would set herself up over
her men friends in that way" observed
the girl.
Not at ALL answered the matron,
"but she is a very seif-respecting wo-
man, a genuine thoroughbred. Did You
ever try mounting a pedestal? Try 1t.
Men estimate US not by what We really
are. but by our own estimate of our
selves. II we hold ourselves apart from
them as something too pure to be touch
ed by an impure deed, or word, or
thought. even, they will regard us in that