Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1898-04-13
merrily plying for hire toward Oxford
street again.-New York Tribune.

''Well. if you go. I'm going as nurse,
and that's all there is about it!' she
said to him the other night when he
threw it out pretty strongly that he'd
probably be fighting for his country i'll
ton Star.
OH he replied: chats out of the
question, you know. You'd get the
fever"
Don't care
And even if you didn't die, you'd be
the color of an unripe orange for the
rest of your life"
Don't mind that
Then you might get beri-oeri. People
that live after having beri-beri are holy
frights for the remainder of their days"
''All right
And you'd never get the smell of car
bolic acid out of your nostrils."
Very well. If you go, I'm going, too -
"Of course, you'd have to have that
fine lot of hair of yours cut off to pre-
vent Infection
"Eh-don't mind that, either
And you'd have to wear rubber gloves
thatd make your hands look bigger
hams"
THAT'S immaterial'
Fellows that have been down there
and know, tell me that the Cuban hos
mice"
Goodness gracious! George, must you
go?''
Bobby, aged 4, was out playing in the
yard when his father called him to come
to dinner. He did not respond at once,
however, and when he came in later his
father asked: Bobby, didn't you hear
me when | called you awhile ago?'
'.Yeth. sir" answered the little fellow.
but [ touldn't hear you very dood.''
Bessie's grandma was reading a news
paper and happened to say something
about the funny anecdotes it contained.
Later, when she laid the paper aside, Bes-
sic picked it up, and after looking it
over she exclaimed: "Gwan'ma, l tan't
| find 'em.' Cant find what, dear?'
asked grandma. ZEN funny nanny
goats" was the reply.-Troy Times.
Hicks Talking about horseless car
riages, we've got one up at our place"
Wicks-"That 50? Say. l should like
to have a ride in it,
Hicks-"YOu can"
Wicks-''Al right. I'll come up this
afternoon
Hicks-'.Not today. You'll have to
wait you know. till we have bought a
horse. Boston Transcript.
What fondness Mrs. Uppish has for
dogs"
lead dogs fe.''-Cleveland Leader.
How Strange-''Well," said Ricks,ey,
derstand women"
whats happened nOW:'
Il met Gladys Dawkins yesterday aft
ernoon, and she said this fine. balmy
| weather made her feel just like bird"
Yes?
L wanted 10 show her that 1 under
stood what she was trying to get at, so
I said she looked rather fly, and blamed
me if she didn't flare up and leave me
standing there, without even saying good
by."-Cleveland Leader.
Some years ago Gen. Philip Sheridan
was explaining to a number of Indians,
through an interpreter, the wonders of
the railroad. What do they say?" he
asked the interpreter. They say they
don't believe it, was the answer. Sheri-
dan then described the steamboat; and
| the interpreter repeated this. What do
they say to that?" the general again
| asked, seeing the Indians faces all i'm
passive. They say they don't believe
| that either Then the general gave an
account of the telephone, and told how
man at the end of a long wire had
talked 70 2 man at the other end of it.
The Interpreter remained silent. WELL
said the general, why don't you inter
pref that story to them?" Because l
don't believe that story myself" an
sWered the conscientious man.
The Gar of all the Russias frowned
heavily as the messenger informed him
that the people, having heard of his i'll
ness. clamored for bulletin.
1T would never do he murmured "to
say have boil on the back Of my neck.
No! Tell them"
His voice betrayed his anxiety.
THAT L am suffering acutely from a
humorous furuncle Of the simultaneous
tissuer'
Ringing for fresh bread-and-milk
poultice, he bit into caviare sandwich