New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1898-04-03
THE TALK or THE DAY.

The Glasgow News" says: Away IN the south
ives, OF Scotland somewhere there lives moves and
ms her being O little girl named Mona MacBean.
on March Mona was late In arriving at school
and was detailed OF TO write her Nifty times
When the task was completed and presented 20 the
teacher. tho latter was horrihed to find the name
written. page after page. Boda Bakbade.' You
naughty girl. that's not the way 20 spell your
name Spell It property The reply
founder Please bah. Two dot cold add I cad
odly say Boda Bakbade."
In Salem. whore Nathaniel Hawthorne wrote somo
Of the finest English sentences ever composed by
American, the city marshal apparently hired a
German 20 write the warning "Loahng In front Of
this building Is by n city ordinance strictly for
ia in a German university his Of English SON
tences arrangement learnt probably had-(Boston
Globe
Maine man who thinks that there will soon
ho another nood is building ark. Blu, he says
he won't take any beasts In Il unless the owners
pay him well for the accommodation
Hicks-Talking about horseless carriages. we've
'Wicks-That so? Say. should Ike to have a ride
in IT,
Wcks-Au right. I'll up this afternoon
IIicks-Not to-day. You'll have to wait. you
know tn we have bought horse Boston
Transcript
In Cambridge. Harvard professors nre usually
The Result Accomplished.-Deacon Jones-what,
Not going to church any more? thought you told
me not long ago that YOU hadn't missed a Sun
day In three years?
what's the use now? Times air gittn as good as
they ever was.-(Judge.
The people Of Kansas City have determined TO
build a convention hall OF mammoth proportions.
II will hold sixteen thousand people. and will be
ready FOR the October festival and the Priests OF
Pallas ball.
Edith-Mrs Mauvc appears to he regular icono-
Bertha-Yes7
Edth~You know she used to say that her hus-
band was the idol OF her heart'
Edith well. by her extravaganza that idol is dead
broke.-(Boston Transcript
4 recent rural visitor to the white House made
n bull's-eye shot at telephone and walked OF
mutterlng that he thought It was an insult to FREQ
pecpe for the Administration to nail the cuspdors
to the wall.
Political Grammar-"What are your views on tho
Spanish question: inquired tho alert interviewer
INV friend" replied the Member OF Congress. ~
am very much inclined to think that IN few days
there will not be any such thing as Spanish ques-
don tn be declaration."-(W washington Star.
CAPTAIN J W Holmes OF the American ship
Charmer has lust arrived at home for the seventy
sixth time The Captain Is eventy-four years old.
has been at sea since he ten. and has never
been shipwrcckcd. This immunity from disaster Is
all the more remarkable. considering that he never
consults a barometer. but crowds sail at all
times depending his own weather wisdom for
the safety OF his ship and crew.
Doctor-Well. It's ten to you won't me
tomorrow
Patent-What, Any d-danger. Doctor?'
DOctoi-Oh no. Those are merely my ONCE hours.
-(ilarper's Bazaar.
I'VE have often commented" says THE London
Globe" upon the unsuitability OF the names Sc
lected by the Admiralty for our warshps. and yes
terday the climax was reached In the christening
OF our latest batte-shp Goliath There was
IA rcputed mighty warrior who so completely went
under TO an apparently insignificant antagonist
as Goliath. and the omen must be In the minds Of
all who hear the vessels name. 1t would not
cost very much to rechristen the vessel and this
ought to be done. II only 10 deprive other nations
OF the opportunity OF christening swift and
powerful cruiser the David"
The Berlin 200 is to be enriched by remarka-
bile elephant. This creature, which Is eighty years
of age. has long played the part OF executoner
in an Eastern country where criminals may not
be put to death by human means. Hence. an ele-
plant Is retained to crush the victims head-(Lon-
don Globe.