El Paso daily herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1881-1901, 1898-06-25
Comparisons Are OdorouS.
New Orleans Picayuue.


When mankind wishes to convey an
expression of peculiar appreciation or
disapprova! he compares his fellow
NAL or vegetable kingdom. These
comparisons are not founded on fact,
but are purely arbitrary, and are inter
esting as showing the vagaries OF the
human mind. Thus it is esteemed q
subtle compliment to poke man in
the ribs and call him a sly dog, but he
would knock you down if you ipsinuat-
ed that he was puppy. On the other
hand q woman would claw back II you
called her q cat, but purrs with delight
at being thought kittenish. The in
fatuated lover, who knows his business.
asks his sweetheart, "WhOse ducky is
'oo?" but unless he was prepared to
sever diplomatic relations he would
never be mad enough TO inquire.
"Whose old hen is 'oo?" Yet wherein
does the ungraceful, waddling
duck exceed the Industrious and
thrifty hen as the bird of romance?
We are accustomed to call a man an
ass as the very epitome of stupidity,
and to characterize good judgment as
horse sense, in the face of the fact that
the only animal ever given language,
and directly charged with a piece OF
good advice to man, was the donkey.
The donkey is prudent, cautious, de-
termined. 1t is the donkey who knows
that he's about, and doesn't get rat
tied, that Is chosen to convey people
along dangerous mountain paths,
where q single error would mean death
The horse Is reckless, impetuous, q
plunger, whose nerve we made ad-
mire. but whose good sense we must
distrust. 1t is the donkey and not the
horse that we might emulate with
profit. 1t il clear that much unin-
territorial injustice Is done worthy
creatures by these inaccurate COM
parsons. For instance we are con-
tinually warned not to be clam. Yet
what IA model for friendship is the
clam, who knows how to keep his
mouth shut and not give away every
you confide in him. or late the ex-
preston "He's q lobster" has become
general for q clearcut and concide ex-
preston of contempt. We call the
man q lobster who lags behind the pro-
cession of life, who Is q perpetual fail
sion In lobster, nobody knows. Take
him all around, he's about the best
thing going-live broiled he has no
peer and la anything he goes long
way to reconcile you to the hardships
of fate As long as there are Holsters
left, life will always be worth living.
All! how shortsighted to speak with
contempt of the lobster! If any of US
could be sure of affording as much
pleasure to our ellow-creatures as it
does, we should be a proud and
happy man.
When it comes expressions
of affection we show no more
discrimination in our comparisons. The
Frenchmau calls the darling of his
heart Observation-Disclosures
che beams with delight, although she
must be perfectly aware that cabbage
generally ends in regret and woe. An
American girl, unlike her Partisan
sister, would bitterly resent being
Hkened to q cabbage head. or a beet, or
indeed any reference whatever to the
truck patch. Nothing short of a flower
will 60 with her. The Turks speak of
one whom they adore as "the Joy of
their liver" which is q nice, sensible
compliment that will bear investiga-
ton, and must mean a deal when true.
We use the comparatively meaningless
expression of heart ache, and heart de-
light, when the heart is nothing but
pumping station, and with no more
sentiment than any other piece of ma
chinery. Mrs. PartipRton once said
that comparisons are "odorous." Some
of them are rank.