The San Francisco call., 1898-01-16


 ity of the solar ray. My effort thus far has been less in the direction of getting sunshine in than in keeping moonshine out. If my friend, bound by a sense of duty to read such casual and f1eeting comment as here recorded, ind herself thereby plunged in gloom hope she will not blame me. My aim is not to hang a somber curtain athwart the orb of day, but to main tain safe and dignif1ed position mid way between the joke and obituary de- partments.
 France has reason for feeling cheered. The baby has come into fash ion again. The statistician whose joy it has been to figure out the time when the mewling of the French infant would be but a blessed memory, can turn his valuable attention elsewhere. In 1895 deaths in that country exceeded births by 17,S13 and in 1896 the births exceeded deaths by 94,0O0. Speculation as to reasons for this burst of patriot ism are a little out of my line, but would be pleased to hear from al com petent authority, and more than will ing to surrender to his solution of the problem all the space he might need.
 Complaint is often heard that the Salvation Army and kindred organiza- tions make a noise. This will be con- ceded by thoughtful persons to have some basis in fact. But it must not be forgotten that noise is a long way from being all they make. They make many man better thal. they find him, make life bright again for many a woman to whose deeps of despair silked and satined piety could not reach even if 1t wanted to, a desire of which I have not had the happiness to observe any | indication. The subtle connection be- tween the hammering of a bass drum and the awakening of a conscience I confess myself unable to grasp. It does not readily a--ear why the prom ise of eternal life gathers force by be- | ing shouted from under the shadow of a waving flag. There is nothing tend ing 10 show that tamborines were tinkling when the sermon on the mount fell from lips inspired of love and tenderness. Yet these truths do not change the circumstance that the uniformed and vociferous enthusiasts lift the fallen, comfort the mourner. Let them do it in their own way. They at the worst are not the only offenders of the ear. There is ever the whistle and the bell The brass band emerges from a dive at nightfan to murder melody and lure the chump. The cheap show rents a street car, fills it with blare and turns 1t loose upon the peo- pie. The faker cries his worthless wares undisturbed by remorse or by police If a silence seems desirable the soldiers marching over the Cobbles be- cause they want to do good and arc doing good are the last who should be required to lay aside the implements | of discord.
 The latest Englishman to give his | impressions of this country after 8 ! long and patient investigation covering nearly two days uses the term New i Yorkeress" To follow him to his con- clusions. or indeed to follow him be- yond this offense, were waste of time.
 There is a prohibition paper across ! the bay which takes especial delight l in accusing the city dailies of bribery. Not only Is it addicted to this offense l but 1t insists on printing a picture of Henry B. French. To the latter affront I object The French style of whiskers is not prepossessing; the French way | of reeking with goodness and hanging | out a sign to call attention to it has a tendency to pail, and recollection of the manner in which French got mixed ur | in Normal School matters reminds me i that all that glitters is not necessarily a good imitation of gold.
 It is impossible to regard the un- tanned and unfendered trolley-car with | favor. The manner in which 1t darts upon the innocent citizen and sends him in irregular sections to the Morgue is bound to create hostile prejudice. Even the pedestrian has a sort of right to live, provided he is agile enough to dodge. Yet it is with a thrill of ad- miration I learn that the trolley has | run down a beer wagon. Heretofore the beer wagon has been regarded as | invincible. It has been conceded the kingship of the thoroughfare. and the | multitude has either scurried from it or been sorry. But the beer wagon has met its master. It has often pug zled people who happened to think of it why the beer wagon has not been adopted as an engine of war. No char tot with glittering blades protruding i'm politely from the hub has ever pursued the tenor of its way or moved down the populace with a more cheerful zest l Now it has lost its prestige. Instead ot
 being a thing of terror it is a vulgar vehicle for the transference of kegs
 and instead of being the boss of the
 road would on meeting a trolley car
 take It's axle between its wheels and | run.
 It Is not surprising to observe that another model" young man has gone
 away and that a large sum of his em. | ployer's money is keeping him com
 pany. When a young man gets this
 adjective fastened to him he mus either do something like this or violate precedent. There is no young man who deserves so i'll of the world as to be re
 garded as a model" In fact. there i.
 no line of conduct he may pursue tha'
 can justify the placing upon him O. the handicap constituted by the ridi | ItIn T1n