The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1898-11-01
"oARELEss TOM" IS WITH Us AGAIN.

'CARELEsS TOM Is WITH Us AGAIN.
Dear AUNT Jennie:-It seems that
Old Bachelor" has been frightened
away. Or perhaps, poor fellow, he is
80 busy darning and patching that he
hasn't time to write. Or perhaps he
has repented and is preparing to
marry. Who knowsG It has been said
that"the darkCs time is just before the
Dawn" and mans extremity is Gods
opportunity" Just so, I have noticed
that very often when a man is loudest
In his professions of love for single
blessedness, he is at once taken as a
target by that mischievous Cupid n
almost invariably compelled TO surren
der. Poor old Bachelor" may have
shared the same fate.
II Motif that ''disea se of the
brain, as he calls love, has yet attack
ca him; If he ls still cooking mis- own
meals and doing mis- own washing, n
is still grumOlIDg aG the threatened
law TO tax those reVeling in the 0ys of
the bachelor, / wish to ask him 10 read
the folio wing description of one of q
bachelors JOYS which was written by a
reader of Farm and Home:
Dear Tablers, / would like to tell
you how a gentleman friend of mine
got dinner one day while his mother
was away. He thought he would
make a custard pie first 80 it would
have time to cool. He got the large
dish and broke all the eggs into it.
The last n he broke was bad. He
hurried out and dumped the mess.
Then he broke the eggs In a cup one at
a time. IF l hadn't broken them into
that cup che of them would have been
bad" he said, as he poked the egg
beater into them and tWirled it so hard
that he threw egg over everything
within q radius Of three feet Of the
dish. When his pie was ready for the
oven he picked it up and started to
ward the stove with it, walking very
much after the manner of a man walk
ing a tight rope. When he reached
the stove, he knelt down on one knee.
held his breath, and very, very eau
tiously reached into the stove, touched
one hand against the redhot iron be
fore the pie reached it's destination,
jarked his hand from under the left
side Of the pie and down it went, left
side up, dumping about all the con
tents on the one and floor. He got
up, kicked the stove door shut and
put some salve on his burned fingers.
When he could Tot have pie he said he
would have rice pudding for dessert.
Accordingly, he put six cups Of the
grain In a saucepan; what he thought
would make enough for a family of
six if it should cook down considerably.
Then he put in a good handful of
raisins without seeding them, that be
ing too much work. He put about q
quart of water on it and set it In the
hottest pace on the stove to cook.
When he came to look at it, the pan
was running over with n solid ma SO
Of rice. He got a Kettle, filed it about
half full and put more water on both
In about 10 minutes both kettle and
pan were running over with one SOLID
mass. When he got it cooked be bad
a kettle, saucepan, one quart pail, two
email pals and a tin cup full, to say
nothing of the quart that run Over on
the stove and burned. But that Is only
a part Of the story. Poor boy, what a
lImei If Jul independent old bache
Tors have such times no wonder they
want TO be away out on aqulet island ,
Why can't we all accept Aunt Jen
MES invitation to write once a month";
IL would make it so very interesting.
OF course every one talks mucn non
sense, but l am sure each one of us at
least once a MONTH thinks of n sub
j CT which is worth discussing, and
nas one idea which would be of inter
est to the other Cha,terers. Let ue
try it.
Where are "Pansy," daisy Belle
and Violet DewQ" Cold weather is
almost upon US but l hope they will
still be able to write often.
How many of the Chatterers are
| bookworms3 l am, for one, One OF
nv favorise novelists is Hahn Garland
l think the greatest living poet is
Radyard Kipling, and would think &c
If he never wrote anything else except
"Recessional." Other favorite poets Of
mine are: Holmes, Lowell, and Ten
ny THE Cnambered Nautilus" Of
the first, the stapzas on Freedom by the
second, and Tennyson's I'm Me
moriam" should be memorized by
everyone. Then, too, Holmes lines
90 Father grant thV love divine