davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The San Francisco call., 1898-11-20
COOKING OF
 THE TURKEY
BY HELEN P. SHAW. SONOMA CAL

E Y sakes. but I'm getting warm. 5
 roared the stove complainingly. MI Wait a minute said the clock
 and perhaps the draught will
 A cool you off a bit" "Oh. you run down, I'll speak for myself" cried the draught angrily.
 Don't be so airy now, or I'll strike, " replied the clock.
 Bah, now; do stop your nonsense" " cried the litter, T wonder that -
 But just then the stove cover inter rupted him and asked for lift. 'Oh. you lift yourself, answered the litter impatiently and turning to the draught continued, T wonder that a person of your position should waste so much wind over a shame-faced clock like that"
 "shamefaced, indeed" replied the clock alarmingly. Am I not the one the mistress consults on all important matters 2"
 That may be-" said the litter, but my business is more elevating than yours
 Here the tea kettle began to sing very loudly in order to drown the noise and the stove pipe settled down for a good smoke. But their peace was soon disturbed by the fire calling Justify to the wood box for stick of wood. No sooner had the fire been quieted than the brush and the dust pan got to quar- reling as to which was the more use ful, and when they came together the dust flew so that the oven door com plained that it was hard for her to turn round, her joints were so stiff
 But the draught was delighted with the dust, and rushed along, carrying the dust with it. In fact, 1t blew so hard that the tongs had the rheuma- tism in his joints and refused to work
 The tin pan and the frying pan on the shelve above the stove now began to clash. and their clamor could be heard above the noise of the tea ket- tie, who in vain tried to drown 1t.
 'I am more useful than you are" |" exclaimed the frying pan.
 NO, you're not" replied the tin pan.
 '"The mistress fries all sorts of good things in me-" cried the frying pan.
 ''But I can be used to put anything in and used to cook with, too," retorted the tin pan.
 At last they called upon the stove to decide which of them was the more useful and the stove told them that neither of them was useful so long as it was empty. The fire again called to MT Wood Box.
 What do you want?" he snarled
The San Francisco call., 1898-11-20
THE RUMBLE BEE
nv lAMes. WHlTCOMB RILEY.

.eyou better not fool with Bumblebee! Elf YOU don't think they can sting-you'H They're lazy to look at, an kindo' go Ruzzin' an bummin' aroun so slow.
 An ac' so slouchy an all Jagged out, nanplin' their lags as they drone about 7TSe hollyhawks at they cant climb in 'Ithout list tumble-un'' out ,agini
 Wunst I watched one climb clean way An I est grabbed it-an' nen let go- An 'Oh-oohi Honey, told ye so!
 Saws the Raggedy Man, an don't laugh An says: "They has ben folks, guess, At thought I wuz prejudst, more or less Yit I still muntain at BumblebeeK Wears out his welcome too quick for he!'
The San Francisco call., 1898-11-20
THE BEAR AND
 THE PET LAMB
HARVEY E. TELLER.

BY HARVEY E. TELLER,
 ~ NE morning I took my gun and started out to hunt. I had gone about three miles when I heard noise in the brush. I loaded
 my gun and ventured near the spot where I heard the noise. When I arrived at the spot a big black bear had a poor little lamb, clawing it to death. I fired two shots and the bear fell over dead. I picked up the lamb, which was nearly dead.
 When I had found my way to the road I took hold of the lamb by a rope which I tied around its neck and led it home. I took it into the house and gave it some milk to drink and put some straw down for it to lay on. I took good care of my lamb for long time, till 1t was all well.
 Whenever I went hunting again the
The San Francisco call., 1898-11-20

lamb always went, too. It followed me like a little dog and was not afraid of my gun. The lamb and l grew to be great friends, but one morning, when I got up to feed my lamb, he was gone. I looked all over the woods for him. but could not find him, l thought the person the lamb belonged to must have found him and have taken him home. I felt very badly over the loss of my dear friend and have thought of him many times.
 Willie, aged 5, was told of an arrival in his uncle's family, and earnestly in quired if it was any relation to him. Why, certainly" replied his mother, he is your first cousin" After think ing it over for few minutes the little fellow said: Well, perhaps you know, but I should think he was my last cousin"
 "Who made you?" she asked. God" he replied promptly. And ~bat else did God make?" The yGungster Studied a moment and looked around hopelessly till he noticed his brother, then his face frightened. He made Bill, too, guess" he answered, triumphantly. And William said: You bet"
The San Francisco call., 1898-11-20

 AT COLLEGE
lERnM ST NIcHolAsl

(FROM ST. NICHOLAS1 There came a young freshman to college When he heard that he had to get knowl- He said, "Goodness me!
 Why. how can this be? What a queer thing to do at college"
The San Francisco call., 1898-11-20

The teacher asked what demagogue is. and he replied: "A demagogue is a vessel that holds whisky, wine, beer or any other kind of intoxicating liquor."
The San Francisco call., 1898-11-20
HAPPY LIFE
 ON THE FARM
BY LORRAINE FITCH.

~ NCE upon a time there were two
 little girls enc of the little girls was named Dorothy and the other
 was Janet they lived on a great > big Farm they had dog and cat the Dogs name was Shep and the cats name was Stub and the reason that the cats name was Stub because it had a stub tail Janet was very fond of the Dog and one day the Dog died and Dorothy felt very sorry about it but the cat lived to be years old.
 Freddy-Why don't he speak, ma?
 Mama-He's too young, my son.
 Freddy-Ain't he got any speaking tube?
The San Francisco call., 1898-11-20

the little fellow few moments later, I'm awful sorry you are so stupid"
The San Francisco call., 1898-11-20

K E Y sakes. but I'm getting warm D h H roared the stove complainingly. MI Wait a minute" said the clock.
 and perhaps the draught will A 4 cOOI won off a bit 'Oh VOIy
The San Francisco call., 1898-11-20

THE summer of '66 opened with bright prospects for the adven-
 turous spirits who had pene-
 trated to the heart of the Owy- -A 1.a., tai in. on r.nh of S11d-
The San Francisco call., 1898-11-20
I'H IE

.HE news spread rapidly about the mining camp. Jim Bradshaw had gone down the shaft of the Hard Luck mine Some one said h1 I,-;,, Hl
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1898-06-23

"What is your definition Of optim-
ism ?" at is determination to en-
joy life whether you do or not
Chicago Record.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1898-06-23
SUMMER OUTINGS.
Personally Conducted Tours via PennsyI-
vania Railroad.

The Pennsylvania Railroad Com
pany announces the following Person
ally-Conducted Tours for the Summer
and early Autumn of 1893 -
To the North (including Watkins
Glen, Niagara Falls, Thousand Is
lands, Montreal, Quebec, Au Sable
Chasm, Lakes Champlain and George,
Saratoga, and a daylight ride through
the Highlands of the Hudson), July
s6 and August 16. Rate, $1oo for
the round trip from New York, Phila-
delphia, Baltimore, and Washington,
covering all expenses of two-weeks'
trip. Proportionate rates from other
points.
To Yellowstone Park and the
Trans Mississippi Exposition on a
special train of Pullman sleeping,
compartment, observation, and dining
cars, allowing eight days in "Wonder-
land" and two days at Omaha,
September I. Rate, $a35 from New
York, Philadelphia, Baltimore, and
Washington $23o from Pittsburg.
To Niagara Falls, excursion tickets
good to return within ten days will be
sold on July a2, August 4 and IS,
September I, IS, and 29, at rate of
$1o from Philadelphia, Baltimore,
and Washington. These tickets in
clude transportation only, and will
permit of stop over within limit at
Buffalo, Rochester, and Watkins on
the return trip.
Two ten day tours to Gettysburg,
Luray Caverns, Natural Bridge, Vir-
ginia Hot Springs, Richmond, and
Washington, September 2S and Octo-
Der 19. Rate, SOS from New York,
sos from Philadelphia. Proportion
ate rates from other points.
For itineraries and further informa-
tlon apply to ticket agents, or address
Geo. w. Boyd, Assistant General
Passenger Agent, Philadelphia.
6-I6-2t.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1898-06-23
CAN CUBA GOVERN HERSELF.
A Grave Question Briefly Answered
Brave Men ms Leaders.

A Grave Question Briefly Answered.
Brave Men ms Leaders.
To question whether the Cubans can
govern themselves, in view of such tes-
timony, is a gratuitous doubt, having
no warrant in reason or history. Moth
ing, on the other hand, is more certain
than that the government of one coun-
try by the sojourning natives of anoth-
er, even with the best of intentions,
must result in injustice and bad gov
ernment. AS for the blacks, they are
rapidly disappearing, and must soon
cease to be cause of any future race
prejudice. The ranks OF the Cuban ar
my are of an average intelligence above
that of the Spanish population, which
Is fearfully ignorant and credulous.
The Cubans have not been a turbu-
lent people. Though their history has
been a long series Of revolutions they
have never resorted to arms until every
peaceful means of redress had been
tried. In those brief intervals Of peace
which have sometimes visited the is
land, Cubans have sought to effect. by
constitutional agitation, the reforms of
existing abuses. Such attempts have
never at any time succeeded.
There are higher questions, too, to be
considered. There is no whining tone
in the indomitable seIf-reliance of the
Cuban leaders. Moving freely over
three-quarters of the island, they have
knocked at the very gates of Havana;
they have held in check a force out
numbering their own at all times three
or four to one. cooped up in their forti-
fed towns. They die, too, with cries
for Cuba free, as they did in the ten
years war-the thought of indepen-
dence last in their hearts and on their
lips. Their uncomfortable souls 60
forth to that freedom they could not
win on their narrow stretch of earth.
Love of liberty is the surest guarantee
of representative government; that
these men have given to the world the
purest example of such devotion that
history has known proves them fit for
f-government.-Jose Dana Miller
in Godey's.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1898-06-23

Il remember at Easter that she
showed to a friend of mine some of
the beautiful souvenirs that had been
sent to her from different parts of the
country. There We're some lovely
things among them, but she reserved
till the last the one which she appre-
ciated most. 1t was made for her by
an old friend in Ohio. 1t was in the
form of one of those glistening eggs of
rock candy, but it was larger than they
usually are. At one end was a hole
through which one could look The
picture inside was a remarkably good
reproduction of the White House
grounds done in colored paper. On the
lawn were two youths playing. The
whole picture was very ingeniously
done. Mrs. Mckinley explained that
the two boys We're her young sons, who
had died many years before. Mrs. Nc
Kinley told me that among all the SOU
venirs sent to her. and some of them
were the most expensive that could
well be bought, she preferred the Eas-
ter egg. Her friends have often found
other instances that prove how little
changed her taste has been by her re-
moval to the position of the first lady
in the land"
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1898-06-23
SHERIFFS SALE.

By virtue OF a writ of Fl. Fa., Issued out of the
Court OF Common Pleas Of Columbia county,
Pa, and to me directed, there will be exposed
to public sale st the Court House in Blooms
burg, Pa, on
SATURDAY, JUNE IS, 1903,
at two O'Clock p. M, all that certain house and
lot OF ground situate on Fifth steeet, in the
town of Bloomsbury, county of Columbia and
state of Pennsylvania, bounded and described
as follows, to-wit: Beginning at corner OF an
alley on the south side OF Fifth street, thence
along said Fifth street to lot Of George Killer; |;
thence along lot Of said George Killer to Pearle
street; thence along said Pearle street to alley
aforesaid, and thence along said alley to place
Of beginning, whereon is erecteda
TWO-STORY FRAME HOUSE
and outbuildings.
Seized, taken into execution by c. G. Yetter
attorney in fact VS.. Thomas L. Jones, and to
be sold as the property Of Thomas L. Jones.
W. W, BLACK,
Yost. Atty. Sheriff.
5-28-ts.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1898-06-23
Reduced Rates to Nashville via Penn
sylvania Railroad, account Christian
Endeavor Convention,

On account of the Christian En-
deavor International Convention, to
be held at Nashville, Tenn, July S to
IL, the Pennsylvania Railroad Com
pany will sell excursion tickets of the
continuous-passage, ironclad signature
form, from stations on its line to
Nashville, at rate of single fare for
the roHna TRIP. Tickets will be sold,
and good going, July to S; return
ing, tickets will be good to leave
Nashville to July IS, inclusive, ex-
cept that by depositing ticket with
agent of terminal line at Nashville on
or before July IS, return limit may
be extended to leave Nashville to
August I, 1898, inclusive. 6-23-at.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1898-06-23
THE WHITE HOUSE MISTRESS.
hrs. hickinlay's Ways In Washington
just What Chey ~ ere In q l.nInn

mrs. hckinlay's Ways In Washington
just What They Were In Canton.
The fact that Mrs. Mckinley gave u
reclStie which she herself knitted to
Young man in Washington at his we'd
ding" said a woman who spent the
Easter holidays in Washington, calls
attention again to the simplicity and
unafectedness of the tastes of the first
magistrates wife. She has not allowed
the change in her position to affect
these matters in the least, and she was
no more natural and modest in her for
ner home than she is to-day. There
She would have felt that something
from her own hands was the sort of
present that she preferred to give.
She felt the same thing in Washing
ton, and the knit four-In-hand scarf
which she gave to her young friend as
a wedding present was given to him
in Washington with the same frank
ness that would have been shown In
Canton.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1898-06-23
PENNSYLVANIA OHAUTAUOUA.
Reduced Rates to Mt. Gretna via PennsyI
vania Railroad.

For the Pennsylvania Chautauqua,
to be held at Mt. Gretna, Pa, July I
to August 4, 1898, the Pennsylvania
Railroad Company will sell tickets to
the general public on June 20 to
August 4, good to return until August
10, inclusive, from stations on its line
in Pennsylvania, and from Washing
ton, D. c., Baltimore, Md, and
Canandaigua, N. Y, and principal
intermediate stations, to Mt. Gretna
and return, at reduced rates. 6-a3-at.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1898-06-23
CHRISTIAN F. KNAPP.
FIRE INSURANCE,
BLOOMSBURY, PA.

BLOOMSBURY, PA.
Home, of N. Y; Merchants of Nevxrk.
N. j.; Clinton, N. Y.;Peoples', NJ ;Resd.
ing, Pa German American Ins, Co. Ns~
York; Greenwich Insurance Co., New Yoxk,
Jersey City Fire Ins. Co., Jersey City, n. n.
These old corporations are we'll seasoned
by age and fire tested, and have never va
had a loss settled by any court of law. Tkelr
assets are all invested in solid securities, ana
liable to the hazard of fire only.
Losses promptly and honestly adjusted sns
paid as soon as determined, by Christian ,.
Knapp, Special Agent and Adjuster, Bloonr.
burg, Pa.
The people of Columbia county shcuIs
patronize the agency where losses, If sav.
are settled and paid by one of their ovr
citizens. wv"
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1898-06-23
Swriis in the Navy.


The First Naval Battalion of this
city has furnished to the navy fifteen
officers and three hundred men. 1t
would not be difficult to find good
story" there. For instance, w. Butler
Duncan, Jr., lately commander of the
battalion, is now lieutenant on the
Yankee. Mir. Duncan IS worth about
S3,O0O,O00 member of the De Kay
FAMILY, which has produced commo-
dores and captains, Is an able seaman
on the same ship. Young Dick"
Meade, a son of Admiral Meade, is a
boatswain's mate. So is Eugene Will
lard, son of l.. A, Willard, who man
aged the Vigilant for George Gould.
Gus" Willard, the other son, is an able
seaman. w. l. Zerega, the noted small
yacht sailor. Is a quartermaster. The
ships cook Is Mr.. Claude Beresford.
S. Nicholson Kane, ex-commodore of
the New York Yacht Club, and former
chairman of the regatta committee ia
serving as lieutenant on the st.
Paul. Mr.. Kane is a graduate of the
Naval Academy. and he volunteered
without any fuss or feathers. There
are many gentlemen of adventurous
spirit at sea to-day. though the times
of Sir Francis Drake are dead and bur-
led. CYRUS THORP.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1898-06-23

"By George, l haven't been able to
sleep nights since the war began"
"Why ? You're too old to be draft
ed, aren't you ?" "Yes, but the cap
tam of our militia company owes me
$25o."- Chicago Neaos.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1898-06-23

Scrofula, hip disease, salt rheum,
dyspepsia and other diseases due to
impure blood are cured by Hoods
Sarsaparilla.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1898-06-23
The Oue.r Thing Abou,

"The statesman" said the Corn-fed
Philosopher, differs from the rest Of
nature. Levity holds him down and
gravity helps him to rise."-Indianap-
oils Journal.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1898-06-23

John-"They talk of men growing
gray in the service of a single family"
James-"I would dye first. ."-Bos-
ton transcript.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1898-06-23

"What is an encore ?" SIT is the
song the singer feels the worst about
if she isn't asked to sing it, CHI
eag0 rec0r4.
Smyrna times., 1898-11-23
Vienna

here we have proud, imperial city,
rather disdainful of trade, aristocratio
ana easy going, conscious of a long
past, its rulers still animated with the
conviction that they are the successors
OF Charlemagne and Otto, looking on
Berlin as parvenu, on London as merely
commercial, ON Paris as half crazy. Ex-
cepting in the domain of music, Vienna
is not a home of art and culture, but it
is center of dignity and grace and a
certain calm air of superiority, which,
however, does not offend. 1t is content
to look on while other places explore
and write and toll and push and strain !;
1t stands on its rank; it can never forget
Its 16 quarterings and its claims to
high estate.
Vienna is most interesting perhaps as
the meeting place between east and
west, where the fine gentleman rubs
shoulders in the afternoon lounge along
the Graben with the Bosnian peasant.
The guardian of Europe's ancient order,
the center Of great and most interest
ing empire, the city of leisure and of a
pride so lofty that it does not know
itself to be pride at all, Vienna is both
a charming city and an important polit-
ical center, as she will continue to be,
no matter what is the fate of the Aus.
trlan empire. Spectator.
Smyrna times., 1898-11-23
Desperate.

81 want a horse and trap for q fu-
neral. Can you let me have them?" IN
quired the young man in the loud check
suit of the cautious liveryman, whose
stock occupies the same place in his
affections that wife and family should.
well, if you're careful. replied the
cautious liveryman slowly.
The turnout was at last ready, and
while the young man in the loud check
suit was arranging himself in his seat
the proprietor patted the horse, an es
pecial favoIite, tried the buckles of the
harness, shook the shafts and performed
all the usual ceremonies due upon such
an occasion. Then, as he handed up the
reins, he said absentmindedly:
Hes very willing and quick. b
careful not to drive too fast"
The young man regarded him in sur
prise for a moment. and then assever
ated:
"Well, I'm going to keep up will
the funeral if it kills him r'-LondoI
Answers.
School Laws In Switzerland.
If child in Switzerland does not at
tend school on a particular day, tn,
parent gets notice from the public au
thority that he is fined SO many francs
The second day the fine is increased
and by the third day the amount be
comes a serious one. In case of sicknes
the pupil is excused, but if there be an.
suspicion of shamming doctor is sent
If the suspicion proves to be we'll found
ed, the parent is required to pay tn
cost of the doctors visit.
Smyrna times., 1898-11-23
IncnrrIgIhIe.

A poor little street Arab was brought
INTO hospital by the police. He had
Seen run ever by an omnibus and was
Sadiy injured. The chaplain was sent
.Uf' as it was thought improbable that
WI ,ne boy would live many hours. With
..'ie tact the chaplain began the inter-
view thus: my boy, the doctors think
yOu are very much hurt. Have you been
good little boys''
boy (much bored)-You git aouti
Onaplain (shocked) But am afraid
iou are not good little boy, and you
~HOw you may perhaps be going to die'
boy (anxious to end the interview)--
veil tain't none o. your business any
ow. Wot's me death got to do with
iUu. r Ave you got pal in the corffin
:. II Is pleasant to be able 10 relate that
40 rOoy finally recovered.
NOW and then the doctor is believed
~.,ss - ue almost omniscient. A patient In Q
;n. ;..i'ary hospital was constantly gettint
~. w not water because he smugglee
M M INTO the wards. One morning nil
hsuicai officer was about TO examine
tha ,nroat ,.t with a laryngoscope- Seeint
ms.e little mirror all ready for use tn
vs. chum whispered an anxiou
m~ ing from the adjoining bed. :
mo; s; nlii, you'd best ave a care. 'E
mre appen to see wot yer 'ad 10
sna. isn' nn'lA
Smyrna times., 1898-11-23
wANAMAKER'S.
PHILADELPHIA. Monday. Nov. FL, 1888
A Demand for
PRINCESS MAY GLOVES
in Paris

One of the most famous glove
sellers has asked for them-the
goodness and our name tor 1t,
"Princess May" And that is rec
ompense for years of trying to
catch up to the French in glove
selling.
Thank you, Mr.. Frenchman, for
the endorsement. But the folks at
home want the gIoves-our City
Hall Square and our Broadway
store need every pair of Princess
May gloves that great maker at
Grenoble can produce. 1t isn''
simply the making-it is the selec-
lion Of fine clear kidskins and the
perfect tanning and coloring that Is
half the battle. The making Is
the other half-and every glove
bearing the "Princess May" STAMP
is made in this one factory and es
pecialIy for us. We know they mt
we know the skins are just righ
and we know that the sewing IS 81
Smyrna times., 1898-11-23
NJ. de FonteneIIe,s Bright Speeches

NJ. - said of a young fellow who
did not see that a lady was in love
with him: "You are very young. You
can only read large print"
A preacher said: "When Pere Bour-
daloue preached at Rouen, he caused a
great deal of disorder. The workmen
left their shops, the doctors their pa
tients, etc. I preached there the follow
ing year and set everything right"
A lady 80 years of age said to M. de
Fontenelle, who was 50, death has
forgotten u.s." "Hushr' replied Fon-
tenelle, putting his finger ON his lips.
A oonceited dolt interrupted a conver.
sation by, 81 have an idea." A wit re.
marked, "Astonishingl''
A courier said, "After the death Of
his majesty there's nothing one CAM
believe"
M. de Fontenelle, then in his ninety
seventh year, having just paid Nine
Helvetius a thousand pretty compli
ments, passed her on his way to tn,
table, without seeming to notice her
"See," said Nine. Helvetius, "what &C
count should take of your gallantry
You. went by without looking at me.
Madame" said the. old gentleman
eff 1 had looked at you should no
have passed by you. ."-Gentleman'
Magazine.
Smyrna times., 1898-11-23
Price, a Dollar a Pair

before tariff changed. 1t has been
a close shave, from a profit stand.
point, since. But that's our loss.
Not penny is skimped out of the
gloves. Black. white. coIors. And
orders come for pair after pair
even from way-off Oregon and
down east at Portland, Maine.
Every pair is, as we've said, real
French kidskin.
Smyrna times., 1898-11-23
Istr.uctaIIx weak.

MADAM. you've already overdrawn
your account"
"What's that?"
"You haven't any more money in the
bank. "
1.-THE ideal A fine bank, think, to
be cut of money because of the little
I've drawnl Well. I'll go somewhere
else. Chicago Record.