The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1898-06-18

"a
tation by persistently running away from
unpleasant discussions, when it was her
business to stay and hear them out.
Going through life without friction Is
next to impossible. The practical Size
has got to be faced. Somebody must do
it. Somebody must discuss ways and
means, and somebody must right the stu
alton thai is all askew.
The righting process may start ajar, a
wrangle or even a life long enmity. No
doubt it is much pleasaEter to hover on
the outside and covertly watch a fracas,
but sn't it rather c~owardly?
Many a sweet tempered woman is
sweet tempered because she takes prec-!
ious good care that she is not exposed 10
the .'ruffling', process. Ever since she
can remember anything she has allowed
other people to fight her battles for her,
until she actually believes she is the gem
tie hammered. repcseful being she is said
to be. I notice. all the same, if she IS
cornered and obliged to stand up to a
situation she goes off the handle about as
quickly as anybody.
In truth she belongs to the finder box
type, all right enough while outside con-
sideration guards her from friction, but
as ready to ignite as gunpewder when ex-
posed to it.
Sometimes she takes refuge in a stuh-
born silence that is maddsHing. Pin her
down to a straightforward, up and down
and she will hedge. The little
she does say is cautiously said and she is
constantly looking around for loopholes
of escape. At the first opportunity she
wiggles away and those who have hold
of the horn of the dilemma must do the
best they can without any aid from her.
Then some fine day the feminine dedger
of responsibilities will be found plaintive-
ly telling somebody. 81 can never discuss
things. Discussions always upset me-
like d rag after a discussion" or yeu
will hear another of her type confiding.-
ssAnything in the way CT u scrap Is 50
distasteful to me. ] suppose it's because
I'm SO sensitive-I'm as sensitive as a
flower. My family know this and yet they
will constantly try to drag me into talk
ing over matters that they might just as
well settle among themselves"
And then outsiders say. what a low
able character; so mild, so gentle, so rest
to have about the house." Mean
while those nearest to her 80 on each day
Strengthening out the affairs Of this gem
Tie being because she is too ch~icken-heart-
ed or too incident to look after them her
self.
I would not give a peseta for such a
disposition. I contend that anyone Of Us
sneak through life pretty comforts
ably if determined to shirk everything dis
agreeable. As for credit. not one blessed
bit of credit does a woman deserve who
shifts the burdens that rightfuliy
belong to her shoulders on to other pee
pies.
IF. as the old saying has it, civility costs
nothing. it certainly gains very much.
both in the way of liking and of kindness;
therefore, it seems a great pity that SO
many people dispense with it in small
of daily life, says the Philadel-
phja .aTimes."
There are, no doubt, very few people
who are actually and actively rude and
uncivil. but there are, on the other hand.
many who are-if we may use the term
passively impolite. They do not. that is.
a downright rudeness, but they
omit a vast number of little civilities.
We all hear, and are apt to join in the
complaints that are SO freely made in
the present day. and of the want of good
manner shown by the young men and
maidens around US, complaints that are.
unfortunately, not altogether groundless,
though very often exaggerated by those
to whose youth has been left the enchant-
ment so often given by distance.
Men, perhaps. grumble the most. but it
is the women who really feel the loss of
civilities, for every woman at heart
loves to be thought of, looked after and
treated with care and consideration, and
every woman also delights in the little at
t~entions that make smooth and pleasant
the pathway of life. She may not always
acknowledge this fact-will probably look
upon it as a weakness to be hidden ava
from the sight of man, and to do this more
will try to be brusque, and
even rough, in her manner;but, like all
-make-believes, it cannot hold out against
the real thing. And woman's real appre-
citation of civiltiy is shown plainly enough
in the railing INDUCED in by so many Of
them against men and their shocking
want of manners. BY finding fault with
their bad manners they show they miss
the good ones.
IF 1t is manners that "maketh man." 1t
Is most certainly woman who both makes
and mars mems manners, for there IS no
man, however rough and uncouth In man
ner he may be, who is not influenced. and
to some degree softened. by contact with
a courteous and gracious-mannered gen.
tle-woman. Therefore, it WOULD be far bet
ter, and wiser also, if women, instead of
railing against mems bad manners, were
to teach them what is good, not by word,
however, but by example, for civility
gains civility in return, as surely as lik-
ing begets liking.
At one time. courtesy given and received
looked upon as an attribute that be-
to women as a matter of course;
but now that it is called a right 1t is to be
feared that women occasionally look upon
It as only to be received. and not given,
for it Is no usual thing to hear men say
nowadays. "Women don't want to be
differently from ourselves. Why,
never even thank you for an act of
If this idea is allowed to gain
ground 1t will de an inhnity'of harm, both
to the manners and morals of men. for
The influence women exert over their
should ever be a pure, gentle and
upward one; and 1t will gain ground If
do not bestir themselves to keep q