Mesa free press. [volume] (Mesa, Ariz.) 1892-1901, 1898-05-27

Watts-Bixley Is q sad wag. Potts
Especially when none will laugh at his
jokes.-Indianapolis Journal.
Harry. do you love your little baby
brotherY" What's the use? He
wouldn't know 1t If 1 didw-Tit-Bits
An Exceptional Case.-"He's very
tiDid, is he notT Every. Why, he's
SO timid that he's scared by war
scaresv'-Puck.
After the Battle.-He-Then I go
and forever. She-Very well! But
don't call tomorrow evening; for !
sha'n't be in.-Ldfe.
ut doesn't do any good to scold the
janitor about our cold rooms" "Yes, 1t
does. I get all warmed up when talk
to him."-Chicago News.
She-I like your impudence.
haven't reached the bargain counter
yet. He-You would be a bargain on
any counter.-Harper's Bazaar.
II have just taken my newly grad
uated grandson into business with me"
"How are you getting on with himY
'Well, seem to please him."-Life.
Johnny-Is a lingo man who would
like to make war on all foreigners7
Papa-Yes, my son; and he would pre-
fer to talk the enemy to death.-Puck.
He-Do you know when you get a
bad coin? She-Certainly do. "HOw
do you known why, the man Of
fer 1t to refuses to take it."-Yonkers
Statesman.
A Pointed Inquiry.-Stern Father
Henry, have you and your new watch
parted company already? Henry ia
conically)-Broke. Father-Which?-
jewelers. Weekly.
Useless Advice.-Wiggles-My physi-
clan has ordered me never to take ac-
tive exercise after hearty meal. Wag-
gles-Well, what of it? Wiggles-l
board.-Someryille Journal.
The Rev. Longnecker-I wish could
think Of some way to make the con-
gregation keep their eyes on me during
the sermon. Little Tommy-Pa, you
want to put the clock right behind the
pulpit.-Boston Traveller.
Ethel-Why didn't you attend Prof
Dumps lecture on the "Cycles OF
Timer It was very interesting.
Maude-The subject Of the lecture was
embarrassing to me. You know, dear,
I bought my wheel on the installment
plan.-Pittsburg Press.
IT shall not call upon you next week
nor the week after" said the young
man. I'm fact, 1 shall not call upon
you until after Easter" why not"
she asked, anxiously. Because am
giving up what love best-for Lent"
said he.-Harper's Bazaar.
She-Don't you think Mrs. Wapsley
is a beautiful woman? He-She is q
beautiful woman-the most beautiful
woman, think, that l have ever seen.
She (after he has gone)-I wonder If he
has always been such fool, or wheth-
er 1t has just begun to grow on him
lately.-C Cleveland Leader.
Chollie- Maud has to wear glasses;
the oculist says she has been using her
eyes too much. Charlie-I should say
so! You ought to have seen her at the
dance the other night; she was just
surrounded by men all the time.-Har-
per's Bazaar.
She-Ah, count, you don't know how
my love for you distresses my parents!
heard my father say this morning
that he would give $4,000 II l could
never see you again. The Counties
your fazaire in hees Offices now, you
sink 2-Chicago News.
Little Tompkins-That fellow Brown
tried to stuff me up with some Of his
travellers tales the other day. Talked
about his trip to Italy, and the waving
fields of macaroni, but he didn't catch
me, you know. They don't wave
Punch.
Parson-Ah, my friend, rum brought
you here. Of course! I, too, used to
drink, but for ten years not drop Of
liquor has passed my lips Convict
-'Scuse me, pard. but don't want to
hear no hard-luck story now. I've got
troubles Of me Own.-Life.
Anxious Mother-I think you should
interfere, Edward. There Is young
Stumps sitting for the last half-hour
with Mabel. holding her hand. You
know that he's not in a position to mar.
ry. Father (complacently)-True; but
let him hold her hand, Martha; it will
keep her from the piano!-Exchange
Restful Rogers Bringing suburban
ties door-bell at / a. m.)-Scuse me,
pard-but me and Weary Willy and
Dusty Rhodes and Frosty Fagin ,s
a-tryin' ter sleep out in your barn,
and wouldn't yer be kind enough ter
chloroform dat kid, or put him under
tub, or do suthin' to i'm ter make I'm
stop yelhn' so Internal Loud PUCK.
Mrs. Smilax-Henry, really believe
Freddy is going to be doctor when lie
grows up. / heard him tell Mary that
she must be careful Of her health, and
that pie was considered hurtful. Mr..