The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1898-08-10
So Near, Yet So Far.

oO NcdiB hct oo EtIs
Professor-"Name the two parts ol
he BRAIN"
Pupil-"Tve got 'em in my head
'ut 1 can't just think of EN-"
Must Have Practice.
Jimmy, you must not talk wher
lder people are talking"
'Well, I s'pose you want me tc
row up dumb. Chicago Record.
Her Way Not His Way.
Wife enthusiastically - "Hov
much do You think we took in at the
,azaar?"
Husband (quietly).-"How many,
10 you mean"
But Not Included.
"Have you ever attended conver-
azione?"
eyes: the dry goods clerks have
hem while l am trying to get waited
IN. cleveland Leader.
The Proper Authority.
"My husband insists upon riding {
lobby," announced the anxious wife
o the cross grained family physician.
What can we do about it?"
Better consult q horse doctor. -
Detroit Free Press.
What She Was.
Mrs. Hunt-"You surprise me! ]
Iidn't know that Miss Flash waJ q
ollege graduate.
Mrs. Blunt-"You didn't? Why,
he's one of the aluminium of Vassal
Jollege. ."-Richmond Dispatch.
Honesty Rewarded.
She-'T made that cake all myself
learie?"
He-"Come to my arms, my noble
,irll l would rather eat hundred
,akes like that than have you tell al
indianapolis Journal.
His Method.
Lady Visitor in Camp-"And how
lid you win your shoulder straps
Handsome Oflicer-''By exercising
wise Judgment and cool daring il
picking out my father. "-Clevelant
Leader.
That Boy.
'I hate to bother you, Pa" said the
mall boy home for the holidays
but really I'd like to know"
"Well, what?"
"How is it that baby fish don't &c
lrowned before they've learned tC
Iwim?"
Up to the Mark.
Bramble-"So that's your som
Well, he looks as il he might do you
,redit, some day."
Fowler -"He's doing my credit
low-doing it to the Queens taste
,very time he drops into any place
where they know me- Chicago
News.
Self Valuation.
"It must take great deal of egotism
o make men talk about themselves as
hey do" remarked Miss Cayenne.
Sometimes it's sort of modesty,
eplied Willie Washington. "They
ealize the danger of being overlooked
lnloss they make great deal ofnoise.
Washington Star.
Morbid.
Watts-"It seems to me that Brigg
,arries his patriotism to too fine
point"
Potts-"Briggs? What is the mat
.er with him?"
"He says that his voice is too baC
'or him to insult any national airs b,
;rying to sing them. Indianapolis
Journal.
A Phlegmatlc Suitor.
Philander Gordon (of Boston,
Whom shall I ask for your hand
larling2"
Amelia Pigiron (of the West)-'M
paw"
P. G.-"Oh, well, you can call /
Tour paw if you wish, but / still thinl
hat hand is the better word. Pitts
1urg Chronicle Telegraph.
Suspicion.
"I really believe" said Mr.. Meek
on, "that / would like to be chef.
His wife dropped her knife and forl
md frowned.
"Leonidas, she exclaimed, severely
II believe you have been reading som
If those silly paragraphs about tn
way cooks browbeat the woman OF tn
house. Washington Star.
In After Days.
"Did you ever" asked the youn
husband, "have your wife look you i
thc eyes when you came home and as
you if you had not forgotten some
thing?"
MANY time, me boy" answere
the old married man. "She does ye
In the early days it used to mean
kiss; now it is usuallya reference t
wiping my shoes. boston Traveller
From Different Points of View.
Bess-"Oh, dearl l suppose I'm
for another month of bad luck.
Nell "Why, Bess, what makes yo
think so?"
Bess-"I saw the new moon owe
my left shoulder last night"
Nell-"That's too bad. Now L ha
- l. Inar