Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1898-07-23
A HARD MAN TO BEAT
the LIVE RAILROAD AGENT is UP TO
ALL SORTS OF TRICKS.
Circus People Are Pretty Cute Them.
selves, but This Story shows How One
Party Was CleverIy Outwitted by tn.
H-stlIss Eaiiroader.

selves, but This Story shows How One
Party Was CievcrIy Outwittcd BY the
a-stiIss Eaiironder.
"There are people who think you
can't tcat circus man, but / want to
tell son that the hardest man to do is a
1.-Two railroad man,"
Tna old sawdust manager had tried
u. Ho continued:
Know where PARCEL is in the In.
dian Territory? Away down at the
jumping of place on the Santa Fe road.
The show had been at Purcell and we
wanted to get out in the night for a
long run. We were going to make O
Jump to Kansas City. Not far from
Purcell IL another town. Oklahoma
City. At that point a competing road
with tho Santa Fe runs in. We had 500
people. and Of course the railroad men
were after us. 1t was a big haul. Sem.
OF our people bought through tickets
from Purcell, ind they didn't worry.
But about 200, maybe moro, of the
crowd that always haggles over n 10
cent dicker concluded to take the Santa
Fe from Purcell to Oklahoma City, nay
the short haul, and then take the com.
peting lire at Oklahoma, the agents of
which were active and full of promises.
"Then the Santa Fe man fixed it so
tho dickcrcrs couldn't buy any tickets
from Purcell to Oklahoma, for the train
we wero to go ON was special. The
dickerers said that was all right; that
they would wait for tho regular. In
less than five minutes q bulletin was
slapped on the board of the station to
tho effect that the regular Santa Fe was
IL hours late. That made the fellows
who werc dickering for cheaper rate
turn white around their gillS.
I'm another five minutes | saw q man
on track velocipede scudding down the
stretch. Every man to his business. So
l. thought the railroad people knew
what they wer0 doing, and they did.
That chap OH the velocipede was going
down tho track to flag the regular and
hold IL indefinitely. Smart trick, wasn't
Iii Wait till l tell you. There was a
smarter trick than that
when tho special got ready to pull
out, the dickerers asked the agent if
they could pay on tho train from Pur.
cell to Oklahoma, aud he said Cert
So they all boarded the train at Pur.
cell. intending to get off at Oklahoma.
Just before tho train pulled out the
agent walks down to the engine and
asks the old man at tho throttle how
long ho had been on the road and about
the capacity Of his iron horse, and so
forth.
How many miles an hour can she
go at her BEST asked the agent.
Ion n good track, 65 miles,
lis 1t good track through Oklaho.
ma City,
"'Yes, pretty good
"All right. You've got no orders to
stop there nor to slow up, have you?'
"'Not yet
"Well, when you get to tho edge of
the town You let her 80. Don't stop fer
anything-flags or teams or cattle.
Scoot through the town at q 65 mile
gait, or moro IL you like, and don't
slow up until you strike that strip of
desolation about / / miles t'other side
and you smoke box Of the finest cigars
In Chicago. Is it go?'
III l don't get no orders fore
start.'
Well, You arc fvo minutes late
now
I'm q minute, and / calculate il was
less, the circus special was under wav.
IL went around curves like a scared
snake. It shot across straight lines like
gnzelle that had been singed. 1t
whirled the dust Of that country into
the sky. After awhile we saw town.
Then wc went through il like the wor-
an that's shot from the catapnlt, only
more 30. One Of the dickerers, who was
smiling to think the conductor bad not
yet como round, asked q brakeman as
the train was going through the street,
What town is thisy' The brakeman
said, Oklahoma City
THE dickerer's smile faded as il
~~"S' 10 tho pNSt says, anu his Ddlr
stood mp. aud turning to the brakeman
he says:
Jcsecrimini! Stop her! Here's
where we get OFF,
"She doesn't even hesitate at q town
like this said the brakeman.
well, about IL miles on this side.
ID stripe of country where a crow can't
live and where rr Indian wouldn't be
caught dead. the old iron horse began to
slow up. The conductor came through
just then and said:
Ticketsr
well, say. that was a funny SIGHT.
Them that had tickets showed nh and
then went to sleep. But the dicksters
began to kick. They said they should
have been let of at Oklahoma Civ.
The conductor said the train didn't s,bp
at Oklahoma, that it wasn't scheduled
to stop there. ard that he wasn't going
to go backthat trip. The leader Of the
dickerers for cheap fares wanted to
know what was TO DO done.
1.-The conductor was an old timer. He