The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1898-01-26
ALI Sorts Of Paragraphs.

The only thing that beats a good
wife is bad husband.
High words are often used to ex-
press low language.
- One Minute Cough Cure cures quick
ly. That's what you want! Evans Phar~
macy.
"A school where blushing is taught
is the latest novelty in Paris.
A ton Of oil has been obtained
from the tongue of single whale.
When man begins to discuss
matrimony with widow the result is
usually tie.
= The Detroit man who is sued for
S299 for breach Of promise evidently
proposed on bargain day.
She-aWhy is it called the sill
yer moon?'" He-"Becausei it comes
in halves and quarters, suppose.
The Chinese dress in white at
funerals and in black at weddings, and
old women always serve as brides
maids.
A Topeka clergyman says he
makes more by performing marriage
ceremonies than he does by preach
ing.
Mrs. M. B. Ford, Ruddell's, ILL.,, suf-
fered for eight years from dyspepsia and
chronic constipation and was finally cur
ed by using DeWitts Little Early Risers,
the famous little pills for all stomach and
liver troubles. Evans Pharmacy.
There are now in the United
States 5000 ministers of all denom-
nations that is, about one for every
500 of the population.
She They tell me, Professor,
that you have mastered all the modern
tongues" He-"All but two-my
wife's and her mother s.
= An editor who married Miss
Church says he has enjoyed more hap
piness since joining the church than
he ever did in his life before.
Canada imports from the United
States increased $4,000, 600 last year,
and her imports from England decreas-
ed s3,600,00O
Some of the best lessons we ever
learn we learn from our mistakes and
failures. The error OF the past is the
wisdom and success of the future.
- Before 1886 the average number
of labor strikes Of all kinds in this
country was about 500 year. Since
that date the average has been 1900.
= Miss Allie Hughes, Norfolk, Va,
was frightfully burned on the face and
neck. Pain was instantly relieved by
DeWitt's Witch Hazel Salye which heal
ed the injury without leaving a scar 1t
is the famous pile remedy. Evans Phar-
macy.
From the United States Germany
has taken 100000 bushels Of corn
in the past eight months, or more than
100 per cent increase over the same
time last year the United Kingdom
took 24,OOO.0O0 bushels, and France
100000 bushels. It is said THAT the
Rhine millers are experts at mixing
corn meal with wheat -four, and have
made good thing, as there is differ
ence of 60 cents in the price Of the
two grains.
= One of the Rev. DR.. A. J.. Stone S
deacons was much concerned in his
mind over the fact that his beloved
pastor liked good cigar, and he went
to reason together with him on the
subject. 'sDon't you think, Doctor
Stone,'' said the deacon, ''that there
is such thing as man S smoking too
much p Yes, indeed, DIR. Stone
thought there was. ''Well, don tyou
think there is such a thing as min
lister Of the gospel smoking too much??"
The doctor certainly did. "Well,
what would you call too much p
And the doctor assured the deacon
that he would certainly call smoking
too much if any man, no matter who,
should smoke two cigars at once.
= A singular case Of human shrink
age is reported from the Soldiers
Home at Sandusky, Ohio. Peter
Cooley, who was admitted to the home
about four years ago, was, when he
enlisted in the Fourth Indiana lnfan-
try in 1861, five feet and two inches
tall and straight as an arrow. His
perpcndicularity has been in no wise
affected since that time, but to-day he
stands exactly four feet and four inch
es in his stocking feet. having. with
out in any manner affecting his health
or general appearance otherwise,
grown ten inches shorter. He is il
well-built, compact old man. now in