Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1898-08-02
TROUBLE ALL. THE WAY UP.
Bought a "lIobson's Choice Dcwntowr
Landed in y II ospital Uptown.

A.oHoSu III hospitAA UPTOWN
The nurse adjusted the bandage CT
tie patients head in one of the wards
OF big hospital uptown and then she
said:
Now you may tell me how it hap.
pencd, if you will promise to be very
quiet
Wei. you know Monday was
warm day" he began. so went into
/. store and told the man I wanted to
buy a straw hat. He picked up one,
put it on my head and he says, That's
the hat you want :Dst that way. l
said | would like 10 look at others.
lie said he had oi!-cts. but insisted on
my taking the one he had put on my
head. I asked him if there was any
thing the matter with that hat and he
said no, but it was the one he picked
out for me as soon us he saw me come
in. It's IIobson's choice he said.
'Whose?' says 'Hobson's' he says. l
said didn't know him. Then he said
everybody was saving it. Said it vas
Il fad. or something like that. and if
wanted to be strictly in it | would
take the hat aud if anybody said any
thing to me about it should say 1t
was Hobson's choice and the drinks
would be on the other fellow. So I
paid him Sl50 and went away under
the new hat.
When | was going up the steps at
Park place station met an acquaiEt-
;'nce who says. Where did you get it?'
wanted to be sure he meant the hat.
and l says, Where did l get what?'
The she'd he says. That threw me
off. asked him What he meant, and
lie pointed to the headpece and says,
That. You look like !, calf under Il
rev she'd. he says. That's one Of
IIobson's,' I says. Which is?' he
says. The hat is l says. 4 didn't
know llobson WAS in TIE hat business,
lie says. Which one OF them?' says
Then he laughed and po'lcd NE aud
says, Which one arc you talking
about? Honest I says, it's Hob
sons II it's Hobson's.' he says, you'd
better take it back to him anr tell
him to give you Your Old one You
don't seem to know about it, l says,
and then told hiin about how every
body was talking about Hobson He
looked at me and says, You'd better
take something 70, it,
And then | SAYS, All right, come
on. and we went into the first place
and we stood there quite While and
when we went out | found it had cost
me about Il dollar, and he hadn't paid
anything.
SO left him and came on uptown,
thinking all the way up. Two men
were on the seat in front Of me
couldn't hear all they said. but one of
them remarked rs his station was call
= that lie sposed it was Hpbson's
Then looked at my hat to see if
it was all rights 1t seemed as it it was
too small. but I lfut it back and went
ca to Forty second sttreet. where got
eff and went into luish pl.ee. where
met another acquainNaannce, Pretty
soon he says. That was bfaayyee thing
for Hobson to do said yes, You
heard about it?' he says. 'YeSsh
says, and 1t has cost me $3.50, and
YOU viii please sell your geld bricks
to somebody else l says Don't take
ne for a fool all the time, l says.
'fon must be crazy he says. I got
no gold brick he says. I'm talking
about the brave man who sunk his
ship in the harbor.' What's his
name? Says. 'Hobson,' he saws
linen got up and took my hat from
the peg and showed it to him and /
says, DO you see the hat?' He said
res. well, says, that's Hobson's s.
ne looked at it and says. Why don't
you wear your Own hat? What are
you doing. he saws. wearing Hob
son nat? And taen l hit him. And
when | came to l was here