Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1898-06-08
"A TALE OF INTRIGUE. THIS.
TIE Patriotic Son Dismayed. the Doting
Parents Chuckiing.
New York SUM-


tragedy. However, at present only
one of the characters involved is doing
anything but chuckling with glee.
The one who is not doing any chuck
ling is the Patriotic Son. He had his
laugh a While ago. That was when
war was declared. He was in college
then; Is years old, as stout as a young
oak and the idol of his doting parents
The doting parents are both leading
characters in the story. They are also
pretty well known outside of the story
The fond father, in particular, is a
prominent business man whose honor
has never been impeached. He is
pleased that he can leave this spotless
reputation-as we'll as fortune-to his
only son.
When war was declared the Patr-
otto Son hustled around to a recruiting
office and enlisted in the navy. Then
he wrote to his doting parents and told
them what he had done
''Of course you will be pleased he
wrote.
Not a bit of it. His doting parents
were angry, with a seasoning of grief
and fear and tenderness in their anger
The idea of an 1S-year-old-b oy-ah! at
that point the fond father took hope
again. The Patriotic Son was under
age. He was not eligible. The doting
parents hurried off to treat with their
erring one.
But | will go." he replied to their
4 entreaties.
But you can't. triumphantly.
And why not?"
Because you're only is"
But | swore | was FL replied the
Patriotic Son brazenly. IF you 90 and
tell that I'm not you'll prove me guilty
of perjury"
Il, was his check. and the doting par
ents came sadly home. But the fond
father was not ready to give up beaten.
He did much thinking and then he did
all the wirepulling he could contrive,
and finally he moppcd his forehead and
took breath of relief.
Meanwhile the Patriotic Son was
sent over to the Brooklyn navy yard,
where he wore himself and everybody
else to q frazzlc in his enXiety to be
sent out on Warship. He frettcd and
fumcd and came over home tor d
square meal once i'll while, when he
told his doting parents more things
about the war than they had read even
in the yellow journals
Then one day when the fond father
was setting calmly in his office. with
the satisfaction of a deed we'll done
broodinG over his face. a telegram was
handed to him. He opened it and with
an impressive countenance read tho
words:
Am ordered to Norfolk. Leave to-
morrow. Don't know what ship
The fond father smiled a beatiftC
smile as he read the last sentence. and
he smoothcd the dispatch lovingly anA
pinned it up over his desk. When n
went home to dinner he said gayly Z
his wife:
Well, | had a telegram from tn.
hoy
"A telegram" anxiously.
Yes He says hc's ordered to Nor
folk Goes tomorrow. He says nC
doesn't know what ship
The doting parents looked each othe;
in the eye. then the fond mother snug
eled up to the fond father and looked
at him admiringly.
ooh. You are so clever" she ex
claimed.
The fond father pruncd his plumag
a little hit and patted her shoulder.
We'll, l tlatter myself l am match
for an 1S-year-0ld boy, even if he is my
own SON
\ few days later a second message
arrived from the patriotic son. It was
letter this time. and it had to be eX-
purSated before it could be read to tho
fond mother. What she heard was
something like this:
Dear Father: What the-thc Dick
ems do you think they have done:
They have brought me down to this
this interesting place to put me in
an office and make me keep IA large
set of books
"Oh, dear interrupted the fond
mother. Il do hope they won't work
him too hard. He says a large set 9t
books"
"Well-well, l guess I misread tha;
word said the fond father. 1t doesn'i
say "A large set it looks more lik;
small Yes. there's an "a and an m.
A small set of books"
The fond mother gave sigh of relic
the reading was continued.
Il didn't enlist in the navy for III,
lun Of sitting on a contOunded StOo
and adding columns of figures till
can't tell whether two and two make.
four or forty. That's nice trick FL
them to play me, and I'll be--be sorry
if | am going to stand it. | wish y0l
would see some Of your friends tina
have pull and get them to use it Il
pun me out of this heastly hole"
The doting parents chuckled till the!
Were red in the face over this outburS:
III write in a few days" said tn
fond father, and tell him that l hav
seen my influential friends. and that
believe they will do as | have aske,
them. l Won't tell him they have al
ready done it
IF he ever finds out that you ha,
him sent there" exclaimed the fon-
mother.
Well, if he only has to stay there.
won't care if he does find out who sen
him. He thought he was too smart f.
his old father, but he who laughs las
laughs best"
This is an excellent saying, and o
much wisdom. Those who know tn
circumstances say that if the patriot
son finds out the trick that has bee
played on him he may secure the las