davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-09-22
entirely. shall give no moment of II

entirely. ! shall give no moment 81. II
to anybody 5 ss5s
& Thurs, = he began.
Thursday" said. Oh, yes, here it
is! Thursday: To be married. Ye-es,
I=shall be occupied on Thursday
looked up at Cousin George. He
was very, very. white about the lips
then. #ts 59 a
''To be married?'' he repeated, in q
sort of hoarse whisper. Il HI .5 a5s
yes" said, nonchalantly. "After
that shall be away for awhile
you're going to be married." he
painted again. iii 81
I laughed rather deprecatingly. ."'T
didn't know it was considered quite so
unlikely" I said, humbly.
"Who's the fellow?' he asked,
bluntly. y.
"Mr. Featherston-Hope," I answered,
tenderly. 81, a 49, =. y. III Z
THAT" he began, then stopped
short. :
EYES," I said; "that one" =
"Good-by, Flo," he blurted out.
shooting his hand at ME as if it were
gun. Ireally felt as if were taking
hold of bayonet-point.
"Must you go?" said, sweetly. -
1T seems must"-and his tone was
bitter, which seemed rather cool, con-
sidering how he'd treated me. IS N
"Pm so glad you're home" I said,
pleasantly. II will send you an invita-
tion." He turned on me then and
| glared.
| "Don't," he commanded.
"Oh, yes; I must" went on, cheer
fully. II want to have all my loving
relatives about me. Uncle Edward
would adore you if you'd go one better
snd relieve him by giving me away"
Then I know Cousin George said
something wicked. I won't repeat it.
Then he strobe out and slammed the
door. And I stood still and laughed
to myself. for I'd scored one that time,
at any rate. And he deserved it,.too;
q man shouldn't be changeable.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-09-22

Fishing Tor Complime.nt..

Mrs. Golightly Fishing for compli-
ments) ----Ah, MI. McJ oseph, beauty is
the most precious of all gifts Heaven
has vouchsafed to us women. I'dsoon-
e. possess beau:y than anything else
in the world.
3 Mr.. McJ Joseph (under the impress
sion that he is aking himself agree
able i'm sure, my dear madam, that
any regret you may possibly entertain
on that score is. amply compensated
Tor by-er-bythe innate conscious
ness OF your moral worth, you know
and-of your many and numerous su.
Perior mental accomplishments. Tit
Bits. >siS%Esas :%|%&5,.1-- &r@@
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-09-22
Home Decoration.

Mrs. Fatpurse-You paint pictures
to order, don't you?
Great Artist-Yes, madam.
Mrs. Fatpurse-Well, want land
scape, with lots of deer, and ducks,
and quail, and reed birds, and cattle
and sheep, and pigs, and so on, you
Know; and put a lake and an ocean in
fresh and salt water, you know; and
be sure to- have plenty of fish swim
ming around, because it's for the din
ing-room.-N. Y, Weekly.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-09-22
True Greatness,

"Now,' said the interviewer, cas- to your
method of working?"
"Well," replied the great author, II take
writing pad
ayes"
"And pencil
EYES,"
*'Seek out quiet spot--grasp the pad
firmly in one hand and the pencil in the
other hand-and-'
Eyes. And
"And write Philadelphia North Amer
lean.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-09-22
Not Very .Dimcult.

Yeast-I understand that window
plants in Germany are often watered
with cold tea or coffee.
CrimsonDeak-It wouldn't be very
difficult matter n this country to
water them with milk.-Yonkers
Statesman.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-09-22
What He Should Do.

II think just about owe you lick.
ing" said the big man threateningly
'Possibly, possibly" replied the lit.
tie man carelessly; "but if you live up
to your reputation you will not think
of paying it until you have been
dunned for it at least year."
Fortunately the little man had q
record as sprinter.- Chicago Post.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-09-22
Couldn't Score u Hit.

she-I suppose your wife misses you
during your long absence.
He-Oh, yes. But she does that
when I'm at home.
She-Why, how can that be?
He-Wen, you see her aim is very in.
accurate.-Chicago Record.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-09-22
He Should Have Kent II.

He swore that she possessed his love,
And then he bruised her heart, alack,
For when she dropped her little glove
He picked it up and gave it back!
She huttered like a wounded dove
The future stretches dull and black
He swore that she possessed his love,
But he didn't keep her glove, alack!
Chicago Daily Record.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-09-22
"A Practical Joke,

An eccentric old gentleman placed
IN field on his estate board with the
following generous offer painted
thereon: Il will give this field to any
man who is ontented."
! He soon had an applicant. "WelI,
my man, you are contented fellow p
asked the old gentleman.
Eyes, sir; very zSts
Then why do you want my field ~
The applicant did not wait to reply.
Tit-Bits, l'..t& ,s ~ II. .3tT :. d.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-09-22

ldon't believe it was anger, after all.
I believe it was pure enjoyment.
That's so like woman, to mistake
the very core of thing and realize it
when she's wasted herself.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-09-22
The HEIGHT of the Sublime

I clasped her to my heart mine own;
My ecstacy no tongue could speak.
That moment would have scorned throne,
When in my ear,
My love, my dear,
Said: whats your wages, Bob, a week."
philadelphia Bulletin.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-09-22
Proven,

When home from party fellow doth
stray J Il f,s.-l'' ..11,-,2E1G ,sI'E =
With the girllwho lives just a short dis.
lance away,
They take the long road and they take a
long while, iE.-, ~ >@..%..!, g..
mile"
Il. A. w. Bulletin. - -, ~ T.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-09-22
Where She Drew the Line

"Do you believe in hero-worship?"
inquired the singularly self-confdent
young man.
II do" replied Miss Cayenne; EEK
cepting when it takes the form of self
esteem."-Washin Star.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-09-22
Should Have a Commission.

Patient What, doctor, do you mean to
say you charge me two dollars visit?
misunderstanding, just the same as Il
charge anyone else @.~'s.> -.
ooh, but you ought to make reduction
for me. Why. I introduced typhoid into the
neighborhood! illustrated American.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-09-22
True to Life.

ArtistTI am having considerabl
trouble in securing models for my bat
tic scene.
Friend-Can't you get Naggleigh and
his wife to pose ?-Illustrate Amer.
lean.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-09-22
I1lnSiOnA.

"Why," he asked, with that Brutality
only manifested by man who has promised
to love and cherish, ''don't you go to the
drug store and get some more ?"-Indianap-
oils Journal
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-09-22
The Rest of Proof,

Jaggles - Do you still think the
Spaniards were capable of blowing up
the Maine?
Waggles-Certainly: Why, those
fellows blow up their own ships.-N. Y.
World.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-09-22
Her Platform,

Mr.. Willikins-Do you believe in annex.
alton?
Miss Bidsley-Oh, Arthur this is so sud
den. But if you can gain papa's consent I
will try to learn to love you.-Chicago Even
ing News.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-09-22
Very Careful.

She-Surely, my dear, you will con.
slider the matter carefully before con.
senting to Clara's marriage with old
Mr.. eastman?
He-Certainly. shall have his book:
examined by an expert.-Tit- Bits.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-09-22
Knows All About Him.

DO you know McShifter pretty
| well?"
"Know him? Every time he ex.
presses an opinion can tell whether it
is his own or whether he got it from
his wife" Chicago Record.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-09-22
Probably True

servant-Ill 60 if you say so, but
you'll miss me after I'm gone.
Lady Of the House That's all right,
but shan't miss SO many other things,
IN. =. Evening Journal.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-09-22
Dfdn,t Re0uire Mnch

Jaggles--How do you account for
the poor fight that Spain has put up? n
Waggles Because she. has been
fighting only to save her honor.-N. z.
World, I1T,s t5s.: 5s.s szss1'.; ..3sa f.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-09-22

Mamma, people who are always
washing their hands don't have to go
to church, do they?"tf
"Why, child, what do you mean?''
swell, didn't you say that cleanli-
ness was next to goodness. ILLUS
trated American
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-09-22
PrObably,

Gertrude wonder how long that
pretty widow will wear herweeds?
Dougla Until some body intro
duces her to 4 rake Town Topics. 81 !
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-09-22
Somewhat SurDrised Him.elr.

Mamma-Im surprised i at you,
Johnny! III. ~ Is,
I Johnny (thoughtfully)---I wonder if
you'll ever get used to me, mamma?
You're always surprised at me.-Puck.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-09-22

Poor old George! I've been thinking
it over. I don't think I'll send him the
invitation, after all.-Sketch.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-09-22
Evasion.

] Teacher - What! You haven't
learned the story of Cain and Abel
yet? ...... -...
Tommy-No; nav says it is bad
manners to pry into family quarrels.-
Indiana polls Journal 4@r f$ Z
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-09-22
Kind gen'eman. 'elp poSr man on
the road ter buy a bicycle.E I've got
der oil can in me bundle, and on'y
wants der machine. - Ally sSloper. d
y a Pfece a GOOD Ludix,

A pretty maid in bathing suit n @ a. 4.
Walked sadly on the sand; s5'
. Alas! she cried, there's not man
In sight on sea or land y s.,,.sE
Then suddenly she danced with jty
..4 And clapped her hands IN glea;
w hat luck!' she cried, here cones at last
BE- A swell upon the sea!''
Town Topics. .,4 u n. 85{ Z 5%i
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-09-22
Prospec.1tive Generosity.

Mammal ommy, why didn't yon
share your plum with Dolly
#@ Tommy gave her the store; if she
plants it She can have the while tree.
N. $. Evening Journal.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-09-22

A man can carry baby in such fashion
that he can even delude it's mother into the
belief that he is bringing home package of
meat for dinner.-Chicago Times Herald.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-09-22
The Height of Cruelty.

Bill-The girl said she thought you
were cruel to kill a bear.
JILL can't see where the cruelty
comes in
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-09-22

''This is carrying things too far"
said Pat, as he reached the twentieth
story of the building.-Chicago Daily
News,
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-09-22
MODEST, VERY.

perhaps you don't know that be-
hug" -Yonkers Statesman.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-09-22
The Latest Crop.

The Latest Crop.
Once we heard of the new woman
She was on a dazzling plan;
But just now she is extinguished
BY Americas new man.
Detroit Free Press.
The Worms Chance.
Mrs. Enpeck-The philosophers tell
US that blessings often come to us III
disguise. w.,
Mr.. Enpeck with a sudden show Of
spirit Say, Maria, when are you 60
iIg to unmask ?-Cleveland Leader.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-09-22

"Do you know that coupler"
''Yes-they are on their wedding
trip .,.-... =,
"They don't look very happy"
"Oh, we'll, they're on their way
back."-Fliegende Blaetter.
, 1898-11-02
WEST INDI N STORM.

Tie following telegram has been received
at the Colonial Office from the Governor Of
Barbados, in answer to a request by tele-
graph for a rough estimate Of the total
amount required to cover bona fde distress
caused by the hurricane: "OficiaI returns
~ 10 date. Labourers' houses destroyed,
W.T.; la0ouIers' houses damaged, 4G44.
Approximate economical cost of aided reSto-
ln'ion, &37. 600. This does not include any
losses of outhouses, furniture. and personal
effects, which / cannot nOw'cstimate. Have
available, $4,000; earnestly require 100000
more Immediately to complete this work
alone. Above only includes damage sus,
tanned by poorer %cl"sses. Amount expended
to late, bodily relief. about $4,000. Deaths
righty.fve killed, twenty-Seven drowned;
total, ll2. Roughly estimated damage to
Government property, about $500 not in
GLIDING wharf wall, as to which further de
tails. Damage State-aided schools $1,000.
The heavy damage to planters houses, build
inss, crops, and stock not yet estimated.
krIurns boing made; will report when com
lIcted.-Daily Telegraph, Oct. 3rd.
, 1898-11-02

has accomplished such magnificent work
conferred O lasting benefit on the civilised
world at large aud we'll deserved from it?
But there is more here is npta single spot
among England's vast At lean dominions
where 70, eigmers-to whatever nationality
they may belongAlo not enjoy equal rights
with Blush subjects 10 restriction is
placed upon their acquiring l"nd, trading
farming. mining, &c. heir goods are not
burdenel with higher dues til n those i'm
posed upon British goods, and it isa remark
able fact that the trade bet these
foreign countries and he British possessions
in Africa greatly exceeds lleir oEn trade
with their own African Colonies. Another
fact which we onglrJ t" bear in mind is that
Major March Ind entirely Ow es his safely 10
The Sirdar's great victory. Had The Anglo
Egyptian forces suffered a reverse, or had
not their advance been g. rapid, the Khalifa
would Immediately have sent 'gainst Major
Marchand a force which would have anuihi-
lifted him. Had not even the defeat suffered
by the Khalifa been so crushing and abs0.
Lutte it is most likely hat the DerviShes
would have retired to Kordofan, and it
would have been impossible for Major Mar
chand and his handful Of followers to make
a stand against their overwhelming numbers.
The constant attacks against England's
honesty of purpose, which have for so long
appeared il the French Press, prompted by
a few ignorant fanatics who style themselves
the Colonial party, have aroused my sense
of justice and my love of fair play, and led
me to express my unbiased opinion oil II
81 bjcct with which l may claim to be
thoroughly acquainted. BY doing 50 ! con-
slider that am acting in the interest of my
own country, France, who, rs | said before
has nothing TO gain by hindeling the pro
gress OF England along the Upper Nile, u
region which can only be governed from u
strong basis, easy Of access, such az Khar-
toum.
in the above remarks ! have entirely left
aside HE question of existing rights l have
purposely Abstained from dealing with this
side Of he case, as | wish 10 show that, even
should England have reIinqniShed her claims
and those Of Egypt to the valley of HE Nile
a view | cannot share-it il to the advantage
of every nation having interests in Africa
not to hinder her great work of civilisation.
The chief and best reason why France should
not seek to maintain herself at FashOda is
that it can do her no earthly gool, and it
can only delay the final accomplishment OF
the gigantic undertaking, the foundation Of
which has been laid by Mr.. Rhodes in the
South and by the Sirdnr in the North,
, 1898-11-02

dar has n0t only conquered the Kh"liia,, but
has laid u railway line which now places
Khartoum within six days journey iron
Cairo; TO the South, Mr.. Rhodes has con-
nected the Cape with Bulawayo Ivy rail, a
line which will in a short time extend as Tar
as Lake Tanganyika; his great scheme OF "
trans-African telegraph line is already more
than half completed-out of The 100 miles,
about which separate the cape from CAIRO
$500 miles have already been opened to tele-
graphic communication. How many people
even in England, realise that, tho moment
communication is restored between Fashoda
and Lake Albert, a matter of "a few months
now. it will be possible to reach Cairo in less
than ninety days from the Cape. l will prove
it by figures:
Miles,
Days.
about.
From the Cape to ruIawayo
(by mip... 3 -. 1900
Bulawoyo to S alisbnry (by
post cart. -. 2 ... 200
Salisbury to SIENNA (by road)... 10 =. 200
SIENNA to Chiromo( Thy steamer). -. l -. 100
Chrome to the Upper Shire
(by road, %. 3 .. 100
UpperShire River to KarongA
(ry steamer) Qnortl of
Lake Ny"ssal... 3 -. 400
Karonga to south Of Lake
Tanganika (by roadl ..12 80. go
South to north Of Lake
Tanganika (by steamer. 3 =. 400
North Of Lake Tunganika to
to Lake Victoria Nyanza
(by road) IA j.. go
South of Lake Victoria Ny
alza to north (by steamer)... 2 -. $50
Uganda to Lake Abort (by
road ,l2 =. 900
Lake Albert to ,Kl&.ttoum
,(by st~eame')..l5 -. 1900
Khartoum to Cairo Ivy
steamer and raiD... 8 -. 1000
So $3.50
1t was stated a few days ago that between
L.ado end Lake Albert the Nile is not nayi-
gable owing to waterfalls and rapids. This
is an absolute mistake, as Emin's steamer
constantly ran from Wadelni to Lado. Actual
w there remains but LOO miles of railway
to build to connect Cairo with the Cape by
steam, and when the railway to Lake Tnn-
ganyika is completed there will only remain
$50 miles of line to build between Lake
Tauganyika aud Lake Albert. This done
the journey from the Cape to Cairo will only
occupy thirty days! Has not a nation which
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1898-06-19

6N. and tho membership from AGO -
s59S. showing an Increase of III branch
cs and Al 30 members. No less than
1883 members were struck or the book
during the year. The total balance 70
the society's credit at the close of tho
year was S9s96l0.
There is land enough 90 give work -
an There IS food enough 10 supply an.
There are men enough needing clothing
houses and an the rest of il 10 keep All
the artisans of every kind busy. II va
could get together each man working
and getting the benefit Of some one else's
work In return for his own. we should
not know poverty; at least. the wiling
workers would not know &C.: the others DO
not count-New York Journal.
At tho Fifth Annual Congress Of Irish
Trades Unions Mr.. Wortley boldly adj
vOcated the establishment OF a judicial
tribunal with compulsory powers Of arbi-
tration. "The resolution" says the Dub
lin Independent. declaring that 70 IS tho
duty OF the Government 20 provide works
for the unemployed IN Irish cities towns
and rural districts IS ono Of undOubted
relevancy at the presenH moment. when
we are confronted with a threatened fam
ine I'm the West and South OF Ireland.
The WindOwglass Workers National
Association has started on IT'S plan 10
putting cooperative plants INTO opera
ton. Andrew Johnson has been delega-
ted 20 az once erect cooperative plants
OF Sylvester and Converse. Ind, and an
other is being erected for the associa-
ton at Toledo. 1t IS thought that they
viii have fully a dozen plants going next
fire. The National Association is foster
ing such plans by loaning each workman
entering the cooperation $40 on long
time and also giving support on stocks
and markets.
At Louisville. Col. 20 coal miners
struck for the scale recommended by the
State Board OF Arbiraton--iJ and n
cents "a ton. 1.-THE day OF using militia
90 aid employing coal corporations 70 cut
down the scale Of wages says fhe
Denver News appears 10 be passing
Governor Tanner. OF Illinois. is credited
with having turned down such an appli-
cation OK a few days ago. on Saturday
a similar application was sat down upon
by Governor Adams in this State. The
militia has other duties 20 perform az
the present time A forcign war Is Ia
progress and the nation has use for an
It's hghting men. To protect greedy corr
porations in reducing wages never was "A
part of their duty but State and ma
tional executives have made 10 so IN the
past. and &c Is a satisfaction 10 note that
the custom is receiving rebuff
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1898-06-19
Miss Susan Brown.
IN NIENIORIANf.

At meeting OF 81. Patrick's Bene-
ficial and Social Society, held June Is.
lSaS. the following resolutions OF respect
10 the memory Of Rev. Patrick Donahoe
were adopted:
Whereas Il has pleased Almighty God
20 remove from our midst our pastor.
founder and spiritual director. Rev. Pat
rick Donahoe. therefore. be II
Resolved. That while We bow in hum
bic submission 20 His divine will we
deeply deplore the loss OF him who was
the founder OF this society.
Resolved, ?. That in the death OF Father
Donahoe the Catholic Church has lost
one OF its most active and energetic
priests and this society its staunchest
advocate and warmest friend.
Resolved. g. That even amidst the deep
gloom which overshadows our society,
we draw consolation from the assurance
that our loss is his gain. that he has
merely been called home by a loving
Father, and has received The greeting.
well done. thou good and faithful SER
want. enter into the joy OF the Lord"
IL is ordered. as a mark Of affection
and respect TO the memory OF our de-
ceased founder. that our hall be draped
in mourning for thirty days: that a me-
mortal page in his honor be assigend 10
these resolutions; that a copy thereof be
forwarded 70 the family OF the deceasS
and also spread on the minutes OF this
society and that a copy be sent 10 the
Catholic Friend, Catholic Visitor and the
daily papers.
JOHN J. TROPHY,
JOHN NAGLE.
J. J. BLAKE.
j. J. RYAN,
r. J. MARKS.
7. J. SHEEHY.
w. Z. DOHERTY.
Committed
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1898-06-19
OBITUARY.
Augustus Bnrfoot Clarke.

Mr.. A. 3. Clarke, one Of the oldest
merchants and residents OF this city, died
Yesterday at O'Clock +. NJ. at the resi-
dence of his son. George Harvey Clarke,
at the corner OF Grace and First streets.
Mr. Clarke had been for some years in
feeble health, which confined 'him most
Of the time 10 the house. He was In his
eghty-hrst year, having been born in
Henrico county. March Is, 1918.
After a few years at school, when about
fifteen years Of age. Mr.. Clarke came 10
/, this city to live in 1893 and was a clerk
Vim tho well known bookstore of Henry
Watkins, located on the same block on
Main street only a few doors above the
building now occupied by the firm that
bears his name
His association with books led TO a
fondness for reading and aroused his de-
termination to obtain a better education
He entered the Virginia Baptist Semi
nary, now Richmond College. Of which DR..
Robert Ryland was then president. After
spending two years there he went 10
Washington, d. c.. 10 attend the Column
bia College. Leaving college he taught
school for five or six years. but his
health falling in consequence OF the con-
fning and sedentary employment he
abandoned IL and for several years en-
gagged In farming at his home in the
country.
subsequently, Mr.. Clarke returned to