The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1898-07-10
WHY WOMEN DO NOT MARRY.

The Usual Woman Does If She Can
The Unusual WOmnn's Reasons.
New York Commercial Advertiser.
In the first place. we may for our purpose
divide the whole sex into two classes-the
Usual Women and the Exceptional Wom-
en-. the great majority Of them, of course,
coming under the former head. In their
emotional characteristics and especially in
their relation to the matrimonial question,
all usual women are cast in a single mold
and exhibit practically a single type A
Usual Woman, while she is passing through
the period of the greatest matrimonial pos
sibilities (say from eighteen to twenty-five,
IS always resolutely bent on getting mar
rled, and pretty nearly all her interest in
life will be found to center around the ques-
ton OF the probable man. And from her
very elementary standpoint one man is
pretty nearly good as another-though
of course, | mean any man of whom she is
likely to see very much. She would not by
preference elOpe with a coachman or a day
laborer, nor would she take a ridiculous
person, such as would lead other girls to
sniff at her If she chose him; for women,
naturally enough, like men the possession
Of whom is coveted by Others But with
these limitations it may be safely said that
the Usual Woman will snap at any man
who happens to come along A little prox-
unity is the only thing necessary to make
her choose John Doe rather than Richard
Roe, for each is au fond quite equally de-
hghtfui, as being a real live man.
Ihere is, to be sure, q polite little fiction
Which is propagated by writer's of books
and cherished by the very young. to the
eGG Go that every woman goes about in
englble and ardent youth discreetly forces
himself on her surprised attention. But one
penetrate the secrets of the prison house.
and then he finds out that the Usual
Woman especially. when among the early
tWenties, derives the principal pleasure Of
her existence from contemplation of the
actual, prospective, or hypothetical man..
with her friends, she spends long hours in
glggnng ana specializing over this delight
full lie, and on the approach CT any new
male person, her agitation and general
emotion are something wonderful to see
And anything that wears trousers will do.
He may have brains, or he may not. He
may be good looking, or he may not. He
may be manly and discreet and trust
the more complex qualities the Usual
Woman will probably not discover them.
and so it is entirely and beautifully suffi-
Consequently. if one asks why the Usual
Woman sometimes does not marry, the
answer is very simple one indeed. 1t is
because she doesn't get a chance and for
no other reason whatsoever. There is no
problem in this case at all, and there never
has been.
The really serious question arises when
one comes to the women who are exception
al There are more Exceptional Women in
these days than there used to be; for this
is an age that toerates departures from
conventionality and, in fact, makes uncon-
ventionality fad. And it is an age when
be as individual as they please. Therefore.
the Exceptional Woman is generally one of
2 keen and discriminating mind that read
lily assimilates all worldly knowledge. of
natural insight. and of a temperament that
is at once sensitivet and refined. Such a
woman is most often of the artistic type.
whether or not she actually enters upon
the artistic career, and she both holds her
self at a high valuation and is rather skep-
one can offer her. She learns her lesson in
life very early and she is not given to
Illusions She may, in fact. be just the
least bit cynical, and she suspects the fun
damental sincerity of nearly everyone she
meets. Consequently, she is by no means
carried away by the Usual Man. and if the
kind of an Exceptional Man or else she will
not take him. If she is psychic and emo
tional, the Exceptional Man must be one
who will appeal to her in the subtlest ways,
who can enter into all her thoughts and I'M
derstand them all before they take the
clumsy form of words, who in little things
mate and comrade; who will not do or say
the slightest, thing that jars upon her. sensi-
tiyeness; who, with with, a mans wholesome
woman'S tenderness; and who possesses
also the insight that enables him to per-
ceive and glory in every charm she has
the most delicate and dainty and elusive
as well as the most obvious. To such a
man she will surrender her life as gladly
as will the Usual Woman to the Usual Man
and with a splendid self-abandonment: but
If she never meets him. then she will go
through life alone, enjoying much by the
wayside, but never putting the control of
her own destiny out of her own extremely
clever hands.
If again, the Exceptional Woman be one
in whom head predominates over heart
she will still preserve her independence save
as to the Exceptional Man who fully fills
the niche that. she reserves for him. She
will never settle down to humdrum mid
dle-class existence. If she marries she will
exact every whit as much as her more emo
tional sister; only in a different sphere She
must have a great position, her husband
must be somebody. he must be externally
faithful. he must not make mistakes. If she
is of the artistic type, he must surround
her with everything. that can appeal to such
a taste in her: and in short. he must be
quite as exceptional as she is herself
The. Exceptional Woman. therefore. is
very likely not to marry: and If she does
not. it is always because she does not care
TO do So and because she is not fortunate
enough TO meet the person who appeals to
her peculiar needs. She must herself choose.
and she is not idly to be chosen; but the
man whom she selects may feel that in her
preference for him he has received the
greatest compliment that life can ever have
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