The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1898-03-26
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crowded tnehleF HIT THIS, Jun ; sou.
She-"Yes; there are too many people
around. Life.
Hawkins-"So you sent for doctor?
Does he think you will be out soonT
Robbns-"I imagine SO. He said he
wished | had sent for him sooner
Puck.
"There's a burglar In the housel' she
gasped. Il have never yet uncovered
my head for any man." her husband re-
Joined, with an affectation of hauteur.
Puck.
"Darllngr' he cried and threw him
self at her feet. The naughty damsel
shivered, as IN apare pension. THAT
low Princeton tackN' she muttered,
striving to be calm Life.
She treadingj Alice are fond of
music and will get as close to 1t as
they can" He-"Just cut that out and
I'll send 1t to the girl in the next
fiat Yonkors Statesman.
Recruiting Sergeant-'Do you know
anything about the drill?' Recruit
"Av coorse. Didn't OF jlst tell We oil
wurked in a quarry these foive year
pastY-Philadelp Record.
Beginning early: Bridegroom =
'Where shall we go, dearest-Niagara
Falls or Washington Brlde-"We
might go to both places and see which
we like best."-Brooklyn Life.
Elsie-"When all the boys sing to-
gether It is just charming. But why
don't you have soloists in your glee
clubY Teacher-"They prefer to d.
vide the responsibility. Princeton
Tiger.
Wickwire-"1 like Tlmmlns' stories.
He has such light touch" Slmmlns-
Eyes. that's one thing in Tlmmins' IA
vor; he rarely strikes one for more than
two or three dollars. indianapolis
Journal.
"Mr. Grumpy" said the chronic bor-
rover I'm financially embarrassed
to-day. Can you help me out?" Cheer
fully" Then Grumpy kicked his caller
through two offices and a long halfway.
Detroit Free Press.
Household Diplomacy: Eyes, al
ways give Dickie maglc-lantern ey-
cry Christmas" "Why do you do
thatY 1T keeps my husband at home
for several nights trying TO make 1t
work. Detroit Free Press.
Il never do anything by halves" re-
marked the man who was hurrying
along the street. That's all right,
mister" replied Meandering Mike, who
had just overtaken him; "a quarter or
seventy-flye cents II do" Washington
Star.
Henry-"Did 1t ever occur to your
mind that some of the greatest works
of literature have been wrought out in
PRISON. Willam-"Yes; why would
MT it be good idea to send about two
dozen of our rising young authors to
jailT'-Indanapol Journal.
If had the worst kind of luck in the
Klondlke." said the returned gold
seeker. Didn't you find any gold?"
asked his friend. "Oh. yes, l found
gold. But every time | had three of
a kind l was dead sure to run up
against full house. Puck.
Tom-"Did you give Miss Gotrox a
Christmas PRESENT. Jack-"I tried
to. Offered her myself, you know"
Tom-"And she refused your Jack
Il suppose that's what 1t amounts to.
She said she didn't believe it was right
for girl to accept very costly gifts. =
Brooklyn Life.
"Do you know why 1t is that so many
explorers seek the Arctic and so few
the Antarctic regions" "Well, think
l could make a pretty good guess.
"Why? "The Arctic regions are not
quite so far away from the headquar-
tiers of the managers of the lecture
bureaus. Chicago Post.
Mrs Hymen-"I am afraid you do
not think so much of me, Charles, as
you used to. can remember when
you declared was worth my weight In
gold" Mr.. Hymen-"Thats what
still say, but you must remember that
you have lost ut least twenty pounds
the last year" Boston Transcript.
what do you think? My wlfes
father told me before we got married
that he would give me handsome
present ON our wedding day" "And
didn't hep well, | waited over a
week, and as he didn't mention the
subject. | asked him for it; and all he
said was: Why, didn't give you my
laughter philadelphia Bulletin.
"Of course" he said, rehectively, II
am not making any complaint about It,
All desire to say Is that can't under
stand It," "You can't understand
what?" inquired his wife, why can
you put gilded spheres and gaudy fab
RIGS all over Christmas tree six feet
high and four thick for seventy five
cents, when 1t costs at least $1S to
trim bonnet four inches in diameter"
Washington Star.
Merchant presenting itemized state
menU-"Look that over Mr.. Literal,
and send me Il check at your leisure.
And, by the way, let me congratulate
you on your marriage. | must say that
the lady is one of the most charming It
was ever my pleasure to meet. | am
certain she must make you most ex-
cellent wife" Mr. Literal examining
statement)-'1 must confess that she
nils the bill. 7--Boston Courier.
The naughty young typewriter drew
herself TO her queenly height. George
she said, in icy tones. no
once could mistake your attentions to
me. My lawyer says have beauti-
full case. Either | will sue you for
breach of promise or else you must
-.