New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1898-12-24
THE TALK OF TIE DAY.
THE Milwaukee Sentinel" suggests that Lieu
tenan. Hobson try Spanish onion

THE Milwaukee Sentinel" suggests that Lieu
tenant Hobson try a Spanish onion
Tact-The musical director was in despalr , So.
I'VE have two soprani." he moaned' anu o"'
Listen cried the manager Of the opera IT IS
not for nothing mat am IN me asanran for the
leading y0le, The other NAY write me a !es'i-
m9Mi&H H THHs SSSh wW SAW Ns Sa' rse,or almost
doubted II hair after ALL were the most Prees9U c
ond.-(Detrot Journal.
The Roman Catholic Bishop Of ADgelopoh Mex
ico. thus explains the so-caed rattle In behalf OK
souls I'm purgatory: Shortly before the month OF
November IN certain churches, In which speciai
works are performed In aid Of the souls IN pursa-
tory the rectors Of these churches make out
series Of numbers. say, from to l,W". opposite
these numbers the faithful may write the names
OF the deceased persons for whom they wish the
works 70 he performed giving at the same time an
alrns Of 10 cents or 40 to cover expenses CERTAIN
snecial spiritual works are promised beforehand
for the four or five souls whose NUMBERS snail Do
drawn I'm the lottery Thus the fathiul are easily
enabled TO be the means Of helping the Souls IN
purgatory by the common works offered Tor an,
and ~ their lot should be the one drawn they ald
these souls by the special works also, which other
wise they could not obtain without some difiicuity'
He concludes by critcisng Protestant missionaries
as actuated by mercenary motives.
An 1desl-"what We want" said Aguinaldo. "is
liberty and independence'
What for?" .,. ,rs A.
mand a ransom for EN- without being interrered
with."-(Washlngton star
AN old couple r,m the East" says The De-
troit Free Press" are visiting their son IN this
cltv I, the mother gots Of sight OF the father
he ie constantly n king Ter her. and IS not content
I'll they are together again. The other evening
che went to another part OF the house while he
was in the parlor anu a,'er he had asked for her
a half-dozon times the son said rather curuy' IL
seems as though you couldn't be without mo'her
five minutes at time You're right sald ''e
old gentleman slowly. That's the reason mar
ried her.
Bill-Why do they say dog is mans best
J,iNBecause a dog never forsakes man
That's so; fellow gan o nIrr0~ sfatesman
TWO soldier votes, one being Democratic and tho
other Republican. were cast al "a'er'he' <ise""'
at a total cost OF $40
"Ctmme six pounds OF sugar" demanded small
boy rushing into grocery store i" '''"'"''''
,Four cents a pound: that'l be "a cents. said
mo ma, behind the counter. as he tied up his
"Hoid on want ten pounds Of rice-what's that
Six cents answered the man 3nl, sixty cents
Il want eight quarts Of beans Whatn they be-"
Beans are 10 cents-a dollar twenty. ss..
NOW LET me have seven pounds OF codhsh two
pounds and half of tea two quarts OF rnesat
Six clothespns and three pecKs OF
called out the boy. reading from !, memorancum IN
his hand ''and give me bin OF It AL pease lease a..
,, n rns re ready the grocer handed 1t over with
did your mother send the money or does she
want them sna gS sen@ for nothing was the
boys answer. as he made swiftly for the door
! News answer or get "'"S''
IAN Old fellow came along yesterday" says
philadelphia restaurant-keeper. who gave me a
pointer had never dreamed OF. He came In and
offered TO patch UP all the bad places In my wall
naner and so skiifully that | couldn't find place
after Il was done Well hadn't any patching TO
do but I bet the old chap Il quarter and his din
nor that he couldn't do what ne said tore a
match out Of the wallpaper, and when he was
through eating he went 10 work Inc iirst thing
he did was to cut a piece OF blank wallpaper big
enough TO cover the hole and paste II over. Next
he took a brush and painted a ground the same
os the other paper. Then. kick me II he didn't
take other brushes and colors and paint in the
design Of the paper I willingly yielded up quar-
ter with the dinner. and was satisfied when saw
tho alacrity and with which 'he fellow did his
work
Mrs Laura wight gave poi lunch this after
''I r. n. Won Holt left by the Mkahala Yesterday
afternoon for business trip to M ia ,,,,
Tai Wo was nncu So III ll', ioICc Suutt 'Hls
morning for violating the laundry regulations
Pikn and Kauihou were fined $40 each IN the 20
lice Court for assault and battery on kamai
Tickets for the Healan ball 10 be given on Fri
day evening may be obtained OF DR.. a. &, Wall
baseball between the Iowa and Wela Ia Hao
teams on the Makiki ground, at $3.50 this afternoon
-tllawaiian Star
lube" Posey, constable 81 the town OF Clal-
borne Tex was recently sent 20 levy some
calves In a stable but his mission was unsuccessful
for the reasons set forth In the following memo
randum which he jotted down on the levy before
returning IL to the Court: The above calves
seeable through the kraks. but not gitable. the
doar locked"
yesterday" said Jabson. II refused poor
woman a request for a small OF money. and
I'm consequence OF my act passed seepless night.
The tones OF her voice were ringing In my the
whole time.
Your softness OF heart does you credit" said
MADISON who the woman?
my wife."-(Vanlty Fair.
Saws 1.-THE Boston Transcript: "a recently ar
rived Frenchman who visited well-known Boston
for a long Journey to the West, complaining
bitterly Of the cold Don't you have cold weather
IN France?' asked the salesman who waited on
him why certainly. have cold weather
I'm France was the reply but do not have ze
all four easons in day In France
Deacon Brown--It Ia 50 nice when husband and
wife can think alike.
Mrs Gray-Yes. that's true. Henry and usually
think the same When he agrees with my ideas
we get along splendid hut when have to agree
with his set along only middn. Boston
TRANSCRIPT.