The times., 1898-01-31
"IIis Tongue Approximates a
Perpetual Motion Machine.
now REPUBLICANS TAKE HIM
His Philadelphia Sreech Would be
Amusing Were Not His RESPONSE
bilities Irene idous-No Analogy
Between Money and Milk-Gage
uttered Bis Party's Epiiaph.

The consuming ZtSi VI IL HSN Noii
vert has passed into proverb and has
become one OF our staple figures of
speech.
1T means that one who has only re-
Gently seen the cat thinks he owes it to
himself to whoop it up livelier and
shout oftener and louder than the vet
Grams in order to prove his OWN sim
cerity lie lives in perpetual dread lest
somebody, remembering his antecedents
and his treason 10 his old principles
may doubt his fealty to those lately
espoused.
Secretary Gage is the freshest Illus
tration. His tongue approNimates a
perpetual motion machine. Erstwhile
a free trade Democrat, he now appears
To be the whole thing in Republican
circles and to out-Herod Herod IN ad-
Nocacy OF Republican doctrines
What such regulars as John Sher-
man, Justin S. Morrill,, Galusha A.
Grow and Gen. Grosvenor, who i.eiped
TO rock the cradle of the Repubhcan
party, and who viii follow its hearse,
think Of the capers of Mr.. Gage, whose
conversion to Republicanism wds
almost synchronous with his appoint
ment to the Cabinet. could not be pub
lshed in any newspaper without caus-
ing il to be excluded from the mails for
profanity.
How Hon. Joseph II. Walker, of
Massachusetts. who was the author of
an interesting volume on Money.
Trade and Banking while Mr. Gage
was still voting and shouting for Grover
Cleveland, chafeS at the impudence of
Mr. Gage in presunling TO lecture him
end his committee will create a sensa-
IoR tssl-- Prot fl,..,.
Walker is in the dynamite mood. Brer.
Walker lacks a great deal of being as
meek as Moses and his temper is of the
gunpoWder variety. The process Of
elimination which is being practiced on
him is liable TO produce an explosion.
The Secretary's assumption of superior
financial wisdom wounds Mr.. Chair
man Walkers amour propre. To shout
Gage" in his ears is about as hazard
Gus a performance as shaking a red
rag in the face of q mad bovine of the
masculine gender In offering advice
to Chairman Walker, who is cocksure
that he needs none. and in preparing
financial bills for him whose delight it
is to prepare bills of that sort himself.
the Secretary is exercising about as
much prudence as the boy who Ier-
sists in toying with the business end of
a robust mule
Mr. Gage is undeniably causing di-
vers northwestern Republican Con-
gresSmen much loss of sleep, appetite
and flesh, much sweating of blood and
much hollowness about the eyes. His
open. bold and enthusiastic idolatry
of the golden calf gives them the cold
shivers. Mr.. Gage learned honesty
while a Democrat and this blunt hon
esty of the renegade free trader-the
only trace of Democratic virtue still
apparent in him-places the double
dealing. Shuffiing. good-Lord- goOa-derll
gold bug Republicans who pose as in
ternational bimetallists, betwixt the
devil and the deep sea. He has torn
the masks off their faces and exposed
them to q jeering world. During the
Christmas holidays-just after Mr..
Gage had finished playing the school
master to Mr.. Walkers Committee on
Banking and Currency ran across
one of the ablest of my Republican per
sonal friends from IT, trans Missis-
sippi county, and said to him: Hasn't
Secr2..dl.y Gage put you Western Re
publicans in the hole, or in the polished
lingo Of Dr. William Everett. deposit
ed you in a caTity?' oh, d-n Gagei
Well dump him. was the astounding
reply. Easier said than done. however
I observe with a feeling not akin to
friend irreverently called Mckinley's
great minister of the eNchequer. has
not been dumped 10 an extent obserya-
bic by the naked eye. Au contraire, as
the French would say
Like Aunt Temima s plaster,
The more you Try to pun him Off,
The more he sticks the faster.
Senator wolcott undertook to dump
him the other day, but Mr.. Gage goes
right on in his role of Bull in the China
Shop smashing the Republican crock
cry and making many of the old-timers
heartsicl1 as they contemplate the ruin
he hath wrought. Indeed, his egotism
growing with what it feeds on-gets
worse and worse. In his Philadelphia
speech he raises himself at his own
game. When he said both before the
Committee on Banking and Currency
and also in his Philadelphia speech
that one of the objects he had in mind
in provisions offered by his is TO
commit the country more thoroughly
to the gold standard he uttered the
epitaph of the Republican party
Surely a Secretary of the Treasury
owes it to the great place he holds to
be perfectly candid: but in his Phila-
delphia speech, in his futile effort to
answer Bryan, Mr.. Gage INDUCES in
this sophistry, which would disgrace a
candidate for constable. He said:
They meaning the silver men, charge
it. meaning his bill, to be scheme TO
give TO the national banks full and
complete control of the paper money
of the Acknowledgements power-but all
power may possibly be abused Even
milk dealers, who faithfully come each
day TO our doors, possess now the
same dangerous power to withhold
he icf, nd c.o inf
obedience to their will Most assured
ly when intelligent people read that
last sentence and find it attributed to
the Secretary of the Treasury they
will pinch themselves to discover if
they are really awake. Pondering that
sentence, Republicans who remember
that Salmon p. Chase. with his mag
nificent brain and noble heart, was the
first Republican Secretary of the
Treasury. and that this wretched
twaddle was uttered by the last Re-
publican Secretary of the Treasury,
must hang their heads for shame TO
see tire fiscal operations of mighty
nation-involying the happiness and
prosperity of 100000 souls-brought
TO the level of milk peddling. What
wicked triflins with u subject awful
by reason of its magnitudei There is
scarcely any similarity between milk
and money. While milk is delightful
tipple. Il is not necessary either to
mans existence. his pleasure or the
conduct of the business of life. There
are numerous substitutes for it; but
money is an absolute necessity for the
business world. There is no substitute.
Without 1t everything would stagnate;
II is the blood OF commerce.
Again, any man who has S25 with
which to buy COW can break the COM
bine by setting up as mill1man; but
Mr. Gage proposes to confine the privi-