Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-08-15
TROUBLE ALL THE WAY UP.

The nurse adjusted the

| Landed in Hospital Uptown.
The nurse adjusted the bandage on
the patients head In one Of the wards
of big hospital uptown and then she
said:
Now you may tell me how 1t hap
pened, If you will promise to be very
quiet"
well, you know Monday was
warm day." he began, 80 went into
store and told the man l wanted to
buy a straw hat. He picked up one,
put 1t on my head and he says, That's
the hat you want just that way. ]
said l would like to look at others.
He said he had others, but insisted on
my taking the one he had put on my
head. / asked him If there was any
thing the matter with that hat and he
said no, but it was the one he picked
out for me as soon as he saw me come
in. It's Hobsons choice, he said.
'Whose?' l says. 'Hobson's' he says. J
said l didn't know him. Then he said
everybody was saying it. Said it was
fad or something like that, and if
wanted to be strictly In It 1 would
take the hat and if anybody said any
thing to me about it I should say it
was Hobson's choice, and the drinks
would be on the other fellow. So I
paid him sl.50 and went away under
the new hat.
when l was going up the steps at
Park place station / met an acquaint-
ance who says, Where did you get it?'
| wanted to be sure he meant the hat,
and l says, Where did l get what2'
The She'd he says. That threw me
off. l asked him what he meant, and
he pointed to the beadpiece and says,
That You look like a calf under
new She'd he says. That's one Of
Hobson's.' l says. Which is?' he
says. The hat is l says. L didn't
know Hobson was in the hat business
he says. Which one of them?' / says.
Then he laughed and poked me and
says, Which one are you talking
about?' Honest l says, it's Hob
sons If it's Hobson's, he says, you'd
better take it back to hiIa and tell
him to give you your old one. You
don't seem to know about it, l says,
and then l told him about how every
body was talking about Hobson. He
looked at me and says, You'd better
take something for it,
And then l says, All tight, come
on and we went into the first place
and we stood there quite Il while and
when we went out / found 1t had cost
me about dollar, and he hadn't paid
anything.
so left him and came on uptown,
thinking all the way up. Two men
were on the seat in froLt of me. /
couldn't hear all they said. but one of
them remarked as his statt.n was call
ed that he s'posed it WAS Hobson's
choice.
Then looked at my Lat to see IL
1t was all righS 1t seemed as if it was
too small, but l put it back and went
on to Forty-second street, where I got
OFF and went into lunch place, where
l met another acquaintance. Pretty
soon he says, That was a brave thing
for Hobson to do l said yes. You
heard about it?' no says. Yes ]
says, and 1t has cost me $3.50. and
you Will please sell your gold bricks
to somebody else l says. Don't take
me for fool all the timn,' I says
You must be crazy he says. 4 got
no gold brick he says. I'm talking
about the brave man who sunk his
ship in the harbor.' What's his
name" I says 'Hobson. he says
Then l got up and took Lay hat from
the peg and showed it to him and I
says, DO you see the hat?' He said
Yes Well | says, that's Hobson's.'
He looked at it and says, why don't
you wear your own hat? What are
you doing he says, wearing Hob
sons hat? And then l hit him. And
when l came to was here"