Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1898-09-14
h.A{AlEaIaa|kE !yg.
T. 81

Zdi.
Hlram-Hurry up, Mandy, an git
away from this building. Mandy
What's your hurry, HI? Hiram (chuck-
ling)-The fellow in the elevator forgot
to collect our fares.-Truth.
Il hear you had an action brought
agaiAst you by man who broke his
collar bone on your doorstep. HOW
did the case go?" "Met the same fate
as he did" How do you mean!'
Slipped upon appealr'-Punch.
The Woman Who Had Just Moved
In-The first thing we want to do Is 10
tear down those old curtains those peo-
pie have left. Her Husband-lt seems
you have no reverence for the shades
of the departed.-Cincinnati Enquirer.
Seemed to be some trouble at the
Bugle office this morning" There was.
They tried to speak of Battles wife as
well known in polite circles and the
printer made it police circles Gin
cinnafi Enquirer.
Hewitt-That hotel clerk queered
himself last night. Jewett-How was
that? Hewiu-A lady he was calling
upon happened to say that her foot was
asleep. and he absent mindedly asked
her what time she would have it called.
Town Topics.
1T is true, darling that l play the
races, indulge in intoxicating drinks.
and sometimes swear little. But |
shall stop 1t all when you accept me-"
Are you sure you CAM II know it!
I've done 1t every time I've been ell
gagged Life.
Mrs. Fogg-For mercys sake. Daniel,
what are you doing down there on
your knees, peering under that bureau?
Fogg (who has lost his collar button,
and is not In sweet frame of mind)-
Looking for the Spanish fleet; what do
you suppose was looking for?-Tran-
script.
Wont they let you stop at our board
ing house any more? asked the Circas-
sian. mo" answered the living skele-
ton; sit isn't my fault, either The last
time | was there one of the boarders
told the landlady l looked like he felt
after one of her breakfasts Detroit
Free Press.
"Do you remember" said Miss An
cient Oldgirl to Colonel Crabtree,
how, when you were a young man, you
proposed to Inc and l rejected youY"
ut is one Of the happiest recollections
Of my life,' said the colonel, with an
air of gallantry. And Miss Oldglrl is
still wondering.-P
'Mout l hab de politniss to inqwhire
sleeve, Mr.. Johnsiny' said the
german about to shuttle the cards.
"Oh, just fought dere mout be some
occasion dis evenin. Mr.. Ferriss, to
cut de cards." said the citizen with the
red-striped shirt-Yonkers Statesman.
Let me kiss your Dewey lips"
urged the youth IN the parlor. Young
man" roared a voice from above, the
bombardment will open as soon as l
can get downstairs Then the hap
less youngster organized himself into
a flying squadron and made a fleet dis
appearance.-DetrOit Free Press.
Mrs. Dreams-"John, have you
thought how you would leave me II
you should die? Don't you think you
ought to take out some life insurance
John A. Dreams-'Life insurance:
Great Scott! Haven't | got forty
stories accepted by 'pay-on-publica-
ton periodicalsT-Brooklyn Life.
Little Boy-"Mr. Blake, won't you
bend some for me?' Mr.. Blake-'I
can't, my boy" Little Boy-"Aren't
you contortionist Mr.. Blake
NO, child; whatever gave you that
idea| Little Boy-"Sls said that every
time you opened your mouth you put
your foot In it."-Harlem Life.
Cutting-.I'm undecided whether to
go to war or stay at home" Mrs.
Cutting Remember, if you do go,
you will have to face Spanish bullets
and possibly sudden death" Cutting
Yes; and If don't go I'll have to face
American biscuit and lingering
death. Guess III enlist. Judge
The New Star Miss Birch-"Who
was first in war, first In peace, and first
in the hearts of his countrymeng ST.
lence. Miss Birch-"Of course you
know. Now, who was it," More ST.
lence. Miss Birch--"Dear, dear. Think,
children. Come, now, it was G-George
-" Grand chorus-"Dewey, ma'am.
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
1t was very unklnd, no doubt, but
she certainly drove him to it. They
had only been married two years, and
she persisted in throwing her money
In his face. What would you be now"
she cried, angrlly, before the servant
one morning at breakfast, IF 1t had
not been for my money!" "A bache.
lori" he replied Bits.
He (desperately)-Tell me the truth.
Is 1t not my poverty that stands be-
tween us? She (sadly)-Y-e.s. He
with ray Of hope)-I admit that am
poor, and so, unfortunately, is my faith
er; but | have an aged uncle who ia