The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1898-07-03
TEETERSS QUEER CLOCKS.
THEIR MANY FRAJLTTEs as RE-
LATED Br MRS. LETTERS.

Which Wsuid Ran Oniy when Placed ON
Her DncE-The Fancy China Cisck ana tho
Little Alarm Clock That Once Took - Hath.
Hes an awful hand for clocks. Mr.. Tooters
Is" remarked the one who. by means OF the law
and the Gospel as embodied In the certificate
and the minister, had become Mrs. Teoters.
You never saw such a hand for clocks. He's
got EN- Of all kinds, from a little nickel one not
much higRer'n a walnut to one O. these grand
fathers clocks that ought to set on tho stairs
and say Never. Well, hardly ever you know,
like Longfellow says.
WHAT That amt what his'n saidI Well,
it's what our'n says. 1t hardly ever SAYS any
thing, and It never says what 1t ought To.
Maybe It's because we Rin't got any stairs for 1t
to set on. The nearest We could come to 1t In
our fiat was to put some cmpty boxes on ton az
one another In n corner OF the purlor and sct tho
clock on thcm. But It's an awful KNOWN
clock, that big one is, and l guess We couldn't
fool II with empty boxes. It's ms cute as a cock.
roach and just about as postcrsome.
Mfr. Tocters, hos had dreadful success with
his clocks, and TN sure l don't know why. for
he's bought enough of 'em to be a splendid
judge. l guess he's like my father wan with
horses. Pad rather buy q horse than eat or
sleep, and / guess there was a good many pco-
po thut'd rather havo him. Whenever there
was q horse within twenty miles got the heaves,
'fIf - 49, N'~ ''A'rs @hhA w" ' :"
n man so pleased with his bargain as pa was
unless it was the man that sold the horse.
Mr.. Tcctcrs he's the same way with clocks.
Pa he thought he knew more than tho next
one about a horses action, and Mr.. Teoters he's
Just as suporfluous about what he knows
about a clocks action. Well. l dunno. l tell
Mr.. Teetcrs that mebbe him and pa knowed
action, but they couldn't ~prophesy actions.
That's what l told him.
''rhay UNA ona clncl- AZ uno,n,, I,a.nhA
that was a real satisfaction as far as kcepin'
time was concerned. 1 never knowed that
clock to BIO q minute OFT o. the way, il you
treated her right. She had her peculiRrities,
that clock had, but II you just humored her q
little she was as regular as the sun. We alluz
called her the old lady because she never would
run unless you laid her fiat on her back. When
you set her upon her feet she'd Just the same az
fold her hands and stars at you without 30
much as winking. And she wouldn't give ono
tick, except once in a while. in a sort of a re-
proachful way. You could wind her up and you
could wind her up TIL her handspring reaked,
and she just held her hands and kop' mum.
But just as soon as you'd lay the old lady on her
back she'd start off as clipper as q chicken on q
straw stack.
AN then we had one O. these chiny clocks
with little flowers all over it and broke out in
kind Of q heat rash, only white. They amt
l"o NdSb OuL u III lldI " Il u pEcIly CLOCK.
But handsome is as handsome does, an I never
yit found a pretty woman that wasn't Eighty.
This here clock was just that way. They was
q long pendulum that you hooked up inside Of
the works, and they was keys enough to have
locked UP a Christian martyr.
Mr.. feoters, he wound the clock when he
brought it home from the auction, and he
waited to see what kind Of "A tick tho thing had.
Mr.. Teeters, he's awful particular about a
clocks tick. Many's the time he's said to me:
Emmy. If we've got IN have clocks fRllin'
usthat Time's lyin'. let's have them as II speak
but il we'd waited for that chiny clock to
tell us timo was fyin' we'd ha' ben dead an
buried before wo knew 1t was supper time.
dom nothin' was the chief end OF clocks.
.N r;tSy her her oyer yer on nh her !.d back, GyFenus,' says.
so Mr. Teetors, he laid her down fiat, but the
pendulum just laid down. too. as tired as a
clock wasn't built like the old lady. Mr.:
TeeterE, he set her up again an shook her an
as quiet as a chicken that's hid her nest.
Finally. Mr.. Teeters, he made up his mind the
bless you'll the minute the pendulum was un-
hitched on went the clock. Now, want that
well. We didn't care how tho clock went. so
it. did g go; a an MI. Mr.; I ! e %n l he j9s ,n laid the pGg m u
the tick. 1t was fair TO middlin'., Kind OF af,
fected, 1 thought. but Mr.. Teeters he says l was
prejudiced. 1t was pretty near supper time
then, so we set the chiny clock with the old lady
en- went ont to the dinin' room for me to get
when we sat downt to supper an it was i O'clock
tho next morning by the new chiny, clock when
half past I by the old lady an we found out sho
was right, as usual.
clocks. The now chiny one was ,goin' lickety
split; so fast you lost st your n breath tho minute
o-skicein' round the face an the hour hand was
just, a.scorchin' to keep up. An. there was tho
old lady poggin, away and tendin' to her knit
Tin. aA much ma tn anV.
~ never seen anything like the impudenco
of some folks!'
, 81 just told Cyrcnus that 7 wouldn't stand it.
l want goin' to have the old lady insultcd by
any such COINS on around her. We amt never
had a stiddier clock around the house than tho
old lady is when you treat her right an l want
gOin' TO have any furrin piece rattlin' away like
That Under the old lady & nosc-or over It,
80 MI. Teoters he hitched the pendulum
onto the chiny clock an she shcJ right up at
nineteen minutes of 2 in the morning. We'd ha'
ben seventy year old inside Of a week at the
w q Just mt' had Soi" the chiiny clock for ornament
after that an the old lady t1r teliln Tune; but
You sec, the old lady she had an alarm bel.
but somehow tho alarm wouldn't never go or
wouldn't, go %a-settin' up Mr.. Tecters didn't got
any good out OF tho alarm. So one day he up
an buys this here little clock, about as big as a
new potato, an he brings It home sos to wake
him up in the morning. That there clock has q
spring in it that'd set, of. n steeple clock an
every morning when it's time for the alarm to
go off it jumps about q foot in the air an goes;
"'Wow-ow-ow-Owl
1T jumps up and down like mnd until the
alarms run down, an then 1t settles down as
pleased as IA bantam after a fight. We'll, the
other night Mr.. TeGtcrs he set the clock on the
pcned that he'd left The basin full Of water.
Tho next morning At half past Z. Vow the
up into the air an landed plumb In that basin
full. o water. Bur lnw!, That never stopped II.
1t just bounced around. a.huzHip' and a.whir.
rim away as pleased rs n peacock. You never
saw anything SO tickled to git n bath. Cyrenus
ho hoped up an kind O. hung over the wash
stand. thinkin' to grab the thing out o. the
water. But you might as well have tried to
keich n grain o. corn hoppin' In a pepper.
when the alarm bad run down, though. he
dove his hand down and fetched up the clock
an give it n good shake TO git tho water of.
Then he set il down on the stand an IL just
clipped OFT as regular an clipper as a SEWN