davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1898-11-22
SETTLED THE BORE.
An Abrupt Termination to a Restau
rant Conversation.

An Abrupt Termination to n Restau-
rant Conversation.
Hon. Joseph Cham berlain, when on
his first visit to this country several
years ago. was taking a chop and a
glass of ale in Washington restaurant
one afternoon, and a man around town
who is somewhat noted for his forward
ness, not to say his freshness, was din
ing in the same room, and he recognized
the English parliamentarian. He walked
over to Cham berlain's table, and, quite
unlimited, took the opposite seat. With
in the space of five minutes he was tell
ing Chamberlain what third rate out
fit he considered England to be. The
mans talk, needless to say, was in very
rank taste. Chamberlain adjusted his
monocle firmly and looked at the OBJ
trusive chap amusedly.
'Now, Well take England in the
matter of great men," said Chamber
lain's unlimited table mate. Where
does England cut In in the matter of
great men nowadays, anyhow? England
has got Gladstone, of course, but he
was born about ITO years ago, and he's
back number. I'll just ask you, Mr.
Chamberlain, fair question, What
really great man, what noted character,
has England produced, say, within the
past 90 years? Answer me that, sirr'
with pleasure, said Chamberlain,
permitting his monocle to fall into his
lap and taking his hat and cane from
the rack Great man, me. Noted char
acter, Jack the Ripper. 1 bid you good
afternoon. Washington Post
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1898-11-22
FISH TRADE TRICKS.
HOW THE PROFESSIONALS LOCATE A
LIFTING" GROUND.

The Secret of Successful Fishing on
the New Jersey Coast-Marking the
DodginE Rivals.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1898-11-22
1T CURED THE COOK.

The Result of Her Masters Wres-
thing Match With the Telephone.
"About q week after the telephone
was installed-any electrical device is
always installed when it is brought
into the house-the cook was suddenly
taken i'll in the middle of the night,
and was requested to telephone for the
doctor. 1t took me fully ten minutes Of
prolonged ringing and yelling before
could induce the central office to put
me into communication with the doc
tor. Then l sent an agonized howl
through the telephone, begging the doc
tor to come at once.
''In the course of the following hour
six different persons carried on brief
conversations with me, but no one of
them was the doctor In the case of
each person it took about ten minutes Of
hard labor to induce him to say any
thing Ineligible, and when the intel
ligible remark arrived it was to the
effect that the speaker was Brown or
Jones or Robinson; that he was not a
doctor, and that he would infiict per-
sonal chastlsement on the man who had
called him out of bed if he could find
the criminal in the morning.
cat last, however. my efforts were
apparently crowned with success. A
wretch who said he was the person of
whom was in search promised to call
at my house at once Accordingly one
hour and quarter after had first rung
the telephone received hurried call
from the local undertaken, who insisted
that had telephoned to him to bring a
coffin without moments delay. got
rid of him at the expense of 5 shillings
and glass of wine, and am happy to
say that the shock of the visit cured the
cook without the aid of any other med
icine. w. A. Alden in Pearson S
Magazine.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1898-11-22

On the night of the "harbor fete" at
Newport John Kendrick Bangs and his
little boy stood near group of army
officers and ladies. One of the torches
Illuminating the parapet went out dur
ing the evening. A girl in the group
said the light next the darkened one
should be put out, too, as it looked
lonely without its mate. One of the
young officers at once acted upon her
suggestion, but in extinguishing the
torch burned his finger. He bit his lips
and said nothing. Mr.. Bangs small
son looked on in establishment. Papa, "
he said, isn't that man an officer?"
eyes -
"Then, papa, why didn't he swear?'
Because, my son, said the father,
che is either chaplain or a second
lieutenant If a chaplain, it would not
be proper for him to do so, and if a Sec
ond lieutenant he does not know how. "
-Argonaut.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1898-11-22

The wheelman himself can hardly be
held answerable for the death Of rab-
bit which bolted into his machine as it
stood by the roadside and broke its
neck, and there was contributory negli-
gence, as the lawyers say, on the part
of the cat which tried to go through the
wheel of passing bicycle and gave the
rider bad fall at the cost of its own
life. Much more noteworthy than either
of these was the achievement of a cy-
clist who while scorching along the
road Che must have been scorching) ran
into a covey of cartridges and killed
one, his wheel passing over its neck.
The only way in which this curious
accident can be explained is to suppose
that the birds were busting at a
bend in the road, and that the Cyclists
approach, concealed by the hedges, re-
manned undetected till the enemy was
literally among them. -Chambers' Jour
nal
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1898-11-22
SPEECH.

Talk happiness. The world is sad enough
Without your woes. No path is wholly
rough;
Look for the places that are smooth and
clear
And speak of those to rest the weary ear
OF earth, so hurt by one continuous strain
OF human discomfort and grief and pain.
Talk faith. The world is better off with
out
Your uttered ignorance and morbid doubt.
If you have faith in God or man or self,
Say so; If not, push back upon the shelf
OF silence all your thoughts till faith shall
come;
No one will grieve because your lips are
dumb.
Talk health. The dreary, never changing
tale
of mortal maladies is worn and stale.
You cannot charm or interest or please
By harping on that minor chord, disease.
Say you are well or all is well with you,
And God shall hear your words and make
them true.
Ella Wheeler Wilcox in Woman's Home
Companion.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1898-11-22

Some men say that one should man
age to have clean potato field at dig
cling time, and I confess that have
thought that the presence of many
weeds or grass indicated carelessness on
the part of the farmer, but know now
that season may be such that field
cannot be kept clean. Early potatoes
that were left absolutely clean when
the vines covered the ground this year
became grass and weed fields during the
constant wet weather of August, when
the vines had given way. Grab grass
was the worst pest, and the mower had
to be used ahead of the digger. 1T was
condition of affairs that could not
have been prevented, remarks Alva
Agee in The National Stookman and
Farmer.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1898-11-22

Miss Beatrix Hoyt is a nonpareil.
Yet woman, she has mans arm and
a mans clear eye. That stroke of hers
is an anatomical masterpiece, and some
day her "golf arm" will be immortal
lied in that great history of sport and
athletics which is bound to be written
sooner or later. But, in spite of the en-
during accuracy of that stroke, it is
wondered if the woman golf champion
of the United States can throw stone
and hit the mark Boston Herald.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1898-11-22

There is no accounting for tastes.
What suits the palate of one may be lit
tie esteemed by another. An English
traveller and sportsman had recommend
ed to him when he was in Morocco a
variety of game which he would not be
very keen for at home. His informant
was soldier, for no foreigner is al
lowed to travel in that country without
such attendance:
He began telling marvellous stories Of
the game IN the neighborhood, Of the
sultan's army and of his own impor-
lance. One remark on cooking-for he
was gourmand-is worth repeating.
'There is" he said, "only one kind
Of game worth eating in Morocco
wildcat. Its taste is as the taste of all
other varieties of game mixed. When
once you have tasted wildcat, never will
you eat anything again with pleasure. -
Probably not. l should think it
enough to poison most people, but
dared not say SO. merely proposed in
a weak voice that preferred owl stewed
with mustard and sand. He said that
ought to be good, too but he had never
tried it.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1898-11-22

Some years ago, according to the Lon
don Ladies' Kennel journal, Sir Henry
Irving had dog he called Midsummer
Nights Dream. He thought it was a
bull terrier and made present of it to
G. w. Childs. The animal was exhibit
ed in a Philadelphia exhibition, where
it attracted considerable attention. This
reused the ire of the other exhibitors,
and they declared that Midsummer
Nights Dream was not bull terrier,
but half bred bulldog One of them
wrote on a piece of paper, which was
attached to the dogs kennel, Henry
Irving may know great deal about
Shakespeare, but he knows nothing
about bull terriers :"
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1898-11-22
smarter Than He Looked.

A Boston broker boasts of rather q
bright office boy. One of his friends
dropping in at the office dispatched the
lad for some cigars, giving him a 81
bill to pay for them. The boy returned
with four cigars. The caller commended
him for purchasing such good ones, and
passed them around. Shortly after the
broker was left alone in the Office,
when the shrewd urchin handed him
six cigars with the remark, " Ere's the
rest of them cigars, Mr.. Margin.
Boston Commercial Bulletin
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1898-11-22

Old Lady Ito driver of growler)-
Now, driver, want you to go very
carefully.
Certainly, num-"
"And not go racing with other cabs :"
"No, mum"
"And not go round the corners
quickly
"No, num-"
After the job the old lady, handing
him the exact fare, shilling, said
"You have driven me very carefully
and we'll, and here is a shilling for
you. Have you driven cab all your
life?'
mo, mum. l used to drive a hearse,
and blest if don't go back to it. It's a
better game than this hope I'll drive
yer again, mum. London Fun.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1898-11-22
STORAGE OF CELERY.
Timely Points From Professor Mu

Timely Points From Professor Mum
son In Maine Station Report.
If on we'll drained soil, celery plants
may be left In the rows till the last of
November by having some litter at
hand to apply in case of hard freezing.
1t should be remembered, however, that
if the plants are we'll banked little
freezing of the tips of the leaves will do
no harm, and the mistake is often made
of applying winter protection too early
and thus injuring the crop by keeping
it too warm.
For winter storage the method in
vogue in some celery growing districts
is to make on we'll drained soil beds of
four to six double rows of plants with
wall of dirt between. Bank up on the
outside till the tips of the leaves just
show above the surface Of the bed.
Leave the bed in this condition till hard
freezing begins, then throw two or three
inches of soil over the surface. Let this
soil freeze hard before applying litter,
and never apply heavy covering at the
first approach of cold weather. The soil
i'll the bed is still warm, and If heavy
coat of manure is put on the top the
frost is soon taken out of the surface
soil and the temperature will be high
enough to induce decay. The secret of
success in the winter storage of celery
is to keep cool. AS the severe weather
of winter approaches the covering of
litter may be increased unless there is
fall of snow.
To open the BEDS take the litter off
from one end, break the crust of soil
with pickax and remove any desired
amount of the celery. Then carefully
replace the covering. This plan has the
merit of cheapness and for holding
plants through the winter is preferable
to storage in pit or cellar.
If the crop is to be disposed of as
early as January, it may be stored In
cool cellar or pit In this case the plants
are set very closely together ON loose
moist loan. To avoid heating, conse-
quent on packing large quantities of the
plants together, compartments about
two feet wide by eight or ten feet long
are made by setting up boards which
shall come to the tops of the plants
when in place. If the plants are closely
packed, so as to exclude the air. 1t is
unnecessary to use earth between them.
When plants are stored in this way, it
is important that the temperature of the
pit or cellar be kept as near the freezing
point as possible. If, however, 1t is de-
sired to hasten the process of blanching,
the temperature may be raised. The soil
in which the plants are placed should
be moist to prevent whiting, but the
foliage should always be kept dry or
there will be trouble from rotting.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1898-11-22
Paying Through the Nose

This is to be indirectly swindled in a
transaction or to pay an exorbitant price
for a thing in consideration of long
credit. A variant is ito be bored through
the nose" "bored" here having the
meaning of cheated, deceived:
At this instant he bores me with some trick
Henry VIII," l. l. 1913
One that hath gulled you, that hath bored
You. sir.-"Life of T. Cromwell lGU2. IL ii
1903
And Howell in his instructions For
Forren Travell" (1650), page 80, chad
known divers Dutch gentlemen grossly
guild by this cheat 1.-THE selling of forged
manuscripts to young travellers in Italyl,
and som English bor' d also through the
nose this way, by paying excessive
prices for them. Notes and Queries.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1898-11-22
His Enviable Lot.

Mr.. Pitt-Since your friend Blinkins
married Miss Bonds he has been lead
ing the life of dog
Mr.. Penn-I'm sorry for him.
"I'm not.
Don't you sympathize with him?"
mot at all. He has nothing to do
but eat, sleep and amuse himself. It's
the life of pet pug dog he leads. F" =
Pittsburg Chronicle-Telegrap
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1898-11-22
MIX For Calves.
MIX For Calves.
From experiments at the Utah station

From experiments at the Utah station
it is concluded that:
Calves may be raised very profltably
on skimmilk when it is properly fed.
From the standpoint of gain in live
weight and quality of meat whole milk
is the best food for calves, but it makes
too expensive ration to be pIofitably
fed Butter fat has been worth 16 cents
per pound. The gain in live weight of
these calves at cents per pound re-
turns but 1917 cents per pound for the
butter fat fed and at cents per pound
for the gain but s cents per pound.
The calves whose rations were COM
posed largely of skimmilk, while they
gained one-half pound less per day yet
required practically the same amount
of dry matter to each pound of gain as
did those fed on whole milk. They
made just as good use of the food.
The calves fed whole milk alone gave
greater proportion of dressed meat to
live weight than did those fed on skim
milk, and also gave more fat on the
oarcacc
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1898-11-22

The man who stands idly by and sees
the life fading out of his wife's face, sees
her health going, sees her becoming old
and faded and wrinkled when she should
still be in the perfect enjoyment of vigor-
Gus, useful health, is either less than a
man or else does not know of the one rem
edy which will bring her back to health
and strength. Perhaps her husband can
not persuade her to go to the doctor, be.
cause she naturally breads the inevitable
examinations" and ''local treatments y
He can persuade her if she needs persua-
sion, to take DR.. Pierce's Favorite Pre-
scription. This truly wonderful medicine
has cured hundreds of women after the
best physicians have failed 1t has been
in constant use and tested every day for
thirty years 1t isn't an experiment, there
are no chances about it. 1t is a certain
cure for all arrangements, weaknesses,
irregularities and displacements of inter
nal organs peculiar to women.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1898-11-22
THE OLD HYMN.

sat within vacant room,
A low ceiled room, quaint shaped. oak beam
ed,
With windows looking off to sea,
Ger which the sunsets glory streamed.
watched the faroff fitting sails,
And "Halfway rock" that looming rose
A tower from the heaving sea
Whereon the scattered isles repose
And some one near me gently played
A dear old hymn that stirred my heart.
Twas Children of the Heavenly King"
And what it woke made quick tears start.
The long years seemed to backward turn.
And l, a little child again,
Held fast within his strong arms clasp.
While soft he crooned the old refrain.
Oh, just once more to be that child
And know again the blissful rest
The old hymn brought me, rocked to sleep
With pillowed head upon his breasti
But only yet a little while.
Though earth may call it years that creep.
know he'll come to me again
And rock me to eternal sleep
Mary Devereux in Boston Transcript
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1898-11-22
A Beautiful mil

The foreman of grand jury in the
west of Ireland had been presented for
some public service with gold watch,
of which he was very proud, and as he
displayed it at dinner of the grand
jury, bets were made by members as to
whose watch was most accurate. At
last some one suggested that it was i'm
possible to decide.
"Oh, " said the foreman, there's no
difficulty about that There's sundial
in the garden, and we'll take lantern
and decide the bets that way "-Ex-
change
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1898-11-22

Louis XII of France having made a
certain bargain with King Ferdinand
of Spain, found that Ferdinand had
grievously cheated him, whereupon he
made complaint of his dealing. The
Spanish king made answer to the court
as follows; 1.-THE king Of France is
complaining that 1 have deceived him
twice. He lies. l have deceived him
more than ten times. -
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1898-11-22

l suffered from catarrh of the worst
kind and never hoped for cure, but Ely's
Cream Balm seems to do even that -Os-
car Ostrom, 45 Warren Ave, Chicago, Ill
l suffered from catarrh; it got so bad I
could not work; I used Ely's Cream Balm
and am entirely well.-A C. Clarke, 341
Shawmut Ave, Boston, Mass
A 10c trial size or the SOC. size of Ely's
Cream Balm will be mailed. Kept by
druggists. Ely Brothers, Sc Warren ST.,
N. Y.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1898-11-22

Ole Bull, upon hearing brilliant
young pianist play, remarked to her
You play beautifully, but you can't do
the great music-no woman can. 1t
takes the bioeps of man.
Ny arm is strong enough" answer
ed the girl, laughing. II break my
piano as well as a man could and have
to have new one every week.
"You see, responded the Norwegian,
turning to another, chow these people
treat their pianos. They break them,
they beat them, they kick them, they
smash them to pieces, but our fddles,
how we love them"
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1898-11-22

She had put ON her hat and gloves
and was moving toward the door, wher
he looked up from his newspaper anG
asked:
Where are you going?"
"A husband with good sense never
asks his wife where she is going"
"But suppose a woman with good
sense has the right to ask her husband
where he is going?"
"a. woman with good sense never
does anything of the kind, because il
she has good sense she never marries, sc
she has no husband. Ia, tap
And it never dawned on her that she
had called herself an idiot.-Pearson s
Weekly
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1898-11-22

The highest death rate of any town
in the civilized world is said to be that
of the City OF Mexico-40 per LOCO.
The city is 1000 feet above sea level,
but in spite of this fact its defective
drainage makes the mortality very great
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1898-11-22
wiz She Left.

eyes, we lost that good girl that /
told you about.
"What was the trouble2"
"Why, she left the water running in
the bathtub, and it leaked through, and
she caught cold. She said she wouldn t
stay in house where they didn't have
water tight floors ''-Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1898-11-22

That's quite draft from the west
this morning, ;" remarked the banker to
the cashier as they glanced over the
mail
The new Office boy promptly closed
the transom and again stood at atten-
tion. Detroit Free Press.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1898-11-22

Theaters in Spain have no pro-
grammes A bill in the lobby sometimes
gives the cast, but most of the actors
remain unknown by name. The curtain
is devoted to advertisements, and in
Madrid theaters advertising cards are
affixed with the numbers on the back of
each seat.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1898-11-22

What You begging here too2 saw
you only little while ago begging on
Schiller place"
Yes. have branch establishments
khara "--Rliaqlnde Blattar.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1898-11-22
VALUABLE BOOK FREE.
81 Page Book on Art and Fancy Work Given
to The Mount Holly News Readers.

Mrs. Nella Daggett, editor of The Home,
has published a new edition of her book
Fancy Work and Art Decoration, Civ
ing practical instructions for making dol
lies, table covers scarfs, tray cloths, pin
cushions, etc, etc, with so illustrations.
This book, together with Successful
Home Dyeing, will be sent free to any
reader of the MOUNT Holly News who
forwards the attached coupon and 9
cent stamp to Wells, Richardson & Co.,
Burlington, Vt
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1898-11-22

In Georgia court not long since a
case involving a jackass came on for
trial The attorneys after indulging in
fine frenzy entered the following in
spired motion on the docket:
If the court will consent. we will take up
case;
1t treats not of section, country or race;
1t is of no interest to any, be it ladies lass
1t begins and it ends with humble jackass
Thereupon the judge, hastily sum-
moning his muse to his assistance, en-
tered up the following order:
This case coming on this day to be heard
Considered by the court to be quite absurd),
And the motion herein the court doth decide
To be hereby overruled and denied,
And the movers thereof shall not be exempt
From fine Of one dollar each for contempt
Wherein, until paid, the court further passes,
As sentence, that they be deemed said jack
asses.
Law Notes
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1898-11-22

Instant relief and permanent cure by
the great remedy Ottos Cure for Lung
and Throat diseases. Why will you irri-
tate your throat and lungs with that hack
ing cough when Wells & Son, Columbus;
E. D. Prickitt, Mount Holly;'W. c. Jones,
New Egypt; Edw. W. Rossell, Pemberton,
and H. H. Leeds, Rancocas, sole agents,
will furnish you free sample bottle of
this guaranteed remedy? Its success is
wonderful, as your druggist will tell you.
Sample free. Large bottles soc and 25c.