The times., 1898-08-14
ANTE-PR0TOCOL TALES.

one was very stout, but there was a
serenity in her very obesity which bade
the world be of good cheer A comforta-
bly, respectable hand +oag hung at her side
and as she proceeded down Pennsylvania
Avenue she beamed sbenevolently on pass
ers-by. taH
Suddenly she stopped and after peering
anxiously across the street for a moment
crossed very deliberately and approached
figure in blue. which, supported itself
by leaning ON a cane. There were yellow
stripes on the blue trousers. but the fan
mel shirt was torn and soiled
The stout lady bowed nervously. and
said: Poor fellow! Were you wounded
at the front?'
Il was, lady," answered the figure.
'At Santiago. 1 suppose. You were in
the front ranks in the charges and in the
foremost trenches You must have strug-
gled in fierce engagements which lasted
for hours. while the bullets flew like rain
drops and the clashing of steel against
steel was music. The blood must nave
flowed ankle deep and know you must
be colonel or a major Or
Il am only"
o--, pHe hiiON you nave leu ilS
charges and stirred your men onward
by rushing into pits of fire and certain
death and cutting down Spaniards like
wheat, You were also wounded again
and again, but gallantly mounted each
time and dashed into the battle. Your
morse must have been shot from"
But, lady
No, you must not be bashful know
you are gallant hero and l am too pa
triotic to pass by one who has bled for
my country. You are covered with glo-
rious scars and your name will go down
in history. Now / represent the Yankee
Doodle Publishing Company. We are
getting out a memorial edition to pre-
serve the memories of those who bled
for their country. Now you will see that
this is magnificent. Here is a portrait
OF Dewey. Here are Sampson and the
Matanzas mule, Schley, Shafter, and
Miles. Here is the photograph of the
battlefield before Santiago, where you
were wounded. Now TOR the small sum
of $25. with $ deposit, we will insert your
photo. with your gallant record. You can
not miss this opportunity. Bound in half
calf morocco
But the figure in blue had fallen in
faint and as the ambulance surgeon pass
ed the next corner wondering what had
knocked the cavalryman out, he observed
fat lady with a comfortably respecta-
BILE handbag at her side, earnestly prais-
ing dustry, half drunken figure in blue.
He ambled up the long walk in front
of the White House yesterday with va
cant mien. He slowly mounted the three
steps to the broad porch and walking di-
rectIy to the center of the place he faced
the street and stood picking his teeth
and gazing away into vacancy. He turned
neither to the right nor to the left. The
glories of the home of Presidents had 70
interest for him, so he stood and gazed
in perfect peace.
He had held silent communion with va
cancy for nearly half an hour when the
doorkeeper began 10 grow suspicious and
carefully watched this new pillar on the
porch. The pillar finally nodded his head
emphatically and after producing a pencil
began to make notes on the back of an
envelope. He then lapsed into gazing
again and the doorkeeper was soon
ffanked by three assistants who watched
the gaZer with interest.
An hour passed and each movement on
the part of the silent stsnder was magni-
fed by the watching doorkeeper and his
aides into suspicious action.
The gazer suddenly jotted down more
notes and then. horror of horrors pulled
out large yellow handkerchief and
mopped his face. The handkerchief was
innocent enough-but the time, the place.
the color. the Spaniards-an added weight
10 the suspicion that this was a Spanish
spy.
Slowly the supposed spy recovered him
self and ambied down the walk with the
reasonable yellow banner still flying in
the breeze.
When the spy turned into Pennsylvania
Avenue a rakish-looking Individual was
close at his heels. They proceeded up the
avenue like fishing smack and a pirate
Just opposite the new postoffice the rakish
individual tapped the gazing spy on the
arm and said, Take walk with me for
a minute
Where are you going?"
"Oh. come on and you'll find out"
The two proceeded to the First Precinct
Station, on Twelfth Street. where the
rakish individual brought his prize into
a rear room and in company with a power
in brass buttons began a search.
The captor suddenly produced the yell
low handkerchief from the hip pocket of
the captured one "Ah!" he exclaimed
triumphantly, what does this mean?"
THAT" said the gazer, why that's
cavalry neckerehief. That's hot stuff.
Ten minutes later the gazer was still
gazing. this time at baseball returns and
his notes would have filled any sporting
column.