The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1898-12-20
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PARLIAMENTARY ORATORY,
Pertinent Hints ny an ex-DoorIeeD-
er of the House of Commons.

hAAHt - w "h eN-DoOrkeep-
er of the House of Commons.
From the Windsor Magazine.
When Simpkinson had been in retirement
some six months or so strange rumors
began to be whispered about among those
members who had known him best. When
his name was mentioned men would look
at each other searchingly, as if asking,
Are you in the know?Y or they would re-
tire mysteriously to secluded corners.
where they raised their eyebrows, whistled
softly and, in a word, signihed their sur
prise in the usual manner. The
fact Is, Simpkinson had begun to give pri-
Vate lessons Ia parliamentary oratory TO
new members and 10 others who had new
er acquired the art No mere candidates
were receiced on any pretext whatever.
Indeed, his pupils had to produce evidence
that they had signed the roll and taken
their seats before they were admitted to
the Simpkinsonian sanctum. When once
these preliminaries had been satisfactorily
settled, Mr.. Simpkinson welcomed his hon
orable friends with a courtly. urbanity
worthy of Mr.. Speaker himself
From repeated conversations / have had
with a few of those who do not mind own
ing that they have sat at the feet of
Simpkinson, it is evident that his course
of instruction followed fixed and definite
lines and varied but little. He would be-
gin: You will soon find that it matters
but little what you say in the House of
Commons while everything depends on
how you say it. Acquiring what Is known
as the House of Commons style is more
than half the battle. Give 'em plenty OF
hum and haw; to 'er, err Is human,
you know" He would invariably laugh
at this ancient little jest, though he had
made it a hundred times. He had great
success in this part of his tuition and
the one instruction which all his pupils
faithfully carried out was contained in
the hint that the House of Commons was
always impressed when a speaker did not
appear to know what he was talking about
and had no notion of what to say next.
Having thus grounded the beginner in
the first principles Of House of Commons
orators-hesitation, a little stammerlng.
endless repetition, a reasonable amount Of
self-contradiction, and any amount of
hum and "haw''-Mr. Simpl1inson
would proceed to teach few Of the more
necessary formulae. How and when to
remark, 81 venture to say" or. "I have
yet 10 learn" leading up by many sub
tie gradation TO that final climax reserved
for very special occasions, II even 20 so
far as to venture to thlnk"-an this was
carefully explained. Gan this sort Of
thing" he would say, may seem trivial
to a stranger, but it makes all the diff
ference between success and failure in the
House. For instance. If you were 10 ask
point blank, VIII any man affirm that
two and two make fourP most likely some
member would call out Yes, But if YOU
put It like this: VIII any man come down
TO this House. and stand up in his place.
and venture 10 say that two and two
make four?' theyil all sit mum. II i'm
presses EN-; don't know why, but it does
Again. supposiug you say something which
is not quite accurate-you know what
mean-and the other side calls out, ooh,
IN" all you have to do is 10 turn to your
men and say very Indignantly, 7 am
within the recollection Of the House. and
IL your side knows its business 1t viii
cheer like mad"
Having made sure that these rudiment-
airy points had been appreciated, slmp-
kiuson directed the attention of his
friends and pupils TO the question Of the
hat in Parliament. He had made this
subject a specially. Let me implore
you" he would say, with real feeling,
never to encourage the pestilent heresy
that member should sit in his place un-
covered Wearing the hat in the House Is
a great privilege. DO not the police cry
Hats off, strangersH every day when the
Speaker passes through the lobby? That
alone shows that the member may, II he
likes, as a matter Of privilege ana right
keep his on. Disraeli was a gifted man. 1
grant and Gladstone Is well informed;
but ! have always admired Palmerston
more than either-he wore his hat In the
House, and they did not"
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