The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1898-11-24
PASSING EVENTS.
BY HANS MILLER.


There is going to be marble shaft
constructed in commemoration of the
heroes of Santiago. BY using Alger
and the uncouth Shafter, the founda-
ton could be built.
The Pope has taken the ban off
masonry. Now if he could only take
the ban of convict off prisoners, he
could increase his popularity few
points.
A negro woman in St. Louis is grad
ually becoming as white as SNOWFALL.
That's nothing. We entered court
room with character almost trans
parent, and when we came out it was
as black as print on newspaper.
Seats on the Stock Exchange in New
York are quoted at 1927, 800. If seats
in Heaven are as expensive as this, we
shall certainly stop at the other place.
The Rev. DR.. Talmage says that
"there are artists who are trying to
paint who ought to be whitewashing
fences" Perhaps the reverend gentle
man doesn't know that the job of
whitewashing fences" belongs abso-
lutely to the police.
A milk trust has just been organized
with a capital of 100000. If these
grasping plutocrats get corner on
strawberries, we are willing to stay
here the rest of our natural life and
live on nothing but soup and hash.
Butter is now being made from pea
nuts. Well, they can make butter out
of rattlesnakes if they wish, for we
pass when it comes to butter.
"This," said the spider to the bedbug,
"is what you call tough place.
Indeed it u.s." said the bedbug as he
bit into the rubber neck of the sleeper.
Divine healers and new Messiahs
were never known to be as scarce as
they are just at present. This is a
strong indication that the world is
improving.
A farmer down in kansas raised
nothing but pumpkins on his farm
last year. He was figuring on the
Populists being elected and selling
them to the state institutions.
In New York a detective just died
who had heart no bigger than peanut.
1t required two hours in locating it.
Although great many antiprohi-
bitionists have the habit of putting
spirits down, we here are trying to
keep them up.
We have a gentleman here who is
as absent minded as the prOverbial
professor. When he gets up in the
morning he has to look at his plate on
his door before he knows what his
right name is.
n n n
Next summer fashionable men will
wear their hats all the time. This
will enable them to talk through it
more than heretofore.
There is rumOr to the effect that
the chief cook in the officers kitchen
used to be connected with the culinary
department at the White House in
Washington. We always knew that
he possessed exceptional talent and
ranked among the highest in his call
| ing.
A short time ago very pious indi-
| vldual approached us and wished to
know why it was that we never write
anything of a religious nature, and
wished to know if we were Christian.
The reason more space is not devoted
to this subject, is because we do not
wish to be inconsistent. 70 further
illustrate why we object to publishing
anything pertaining to religion, we will
publish dream which we had a short
time ago. 1t is as follows:
"There was a couple of revival meet
ings held here of such an impressive
nature that almost the entire popula
ton were converted. This caused quite
a stir, but it was nothing compared to
the feeling aroused later Oh when the
board of pardOnS met and came to