The herald., 1898-12-25
RAzOR-BACK HOGS
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

Say, | only know OF one thing that Is
ornerier than a razor-back hog, end know
a heap about hogs. Down in Misori there is
some NV the blamedest hogs you ever see.
When they is young they git to runnin'
through the willers in the bottoms, and
commence squeezin' through between
the little saplin's a-huntin' fer the
grubs and SO on, and they get
the bones of their noses kinder v
shaped and they er the same size frum head
ter tail. Well, talkin' about razorbacks,
there wuz a widdder lived down there. She
he'd a purity good sized farm, and it run
down inter the bottoms, and there wuz
lot NV them saplins GROWN as close tergeth-
er as the hair on a dogs back. Well, it
WIZ a fine place to grow razor-backs, give
um right shape, yer see. Now | amt goin
ter say what her name wuz, ez you might
run acrost her some time; enyway, she wuz
kinder stuck up and nobody ever visited
with her much, ez she seemed to be busy
with rdin about in her buggy most Nv the
time in the evenin's.
| he'd rented piece NV land on the sheres
admin her farm, and l he'd bully crap
NV pertaters a CROWN and it looked ez
though | mought do purity well with them,
ez there wuzent many planted around there
that year. Well, enyway, wuz a holm NV
my pertaters one evenin' purity close up to
the fence, when l seed the wilder a cum
min along ez though she wuz a-lookin' fer
sumpin', end when she go purity close up to
me she says, Good evenin'," end NV course
| wuz ez good ez she, end | sez Nice even
in this evenin," tryin' to- be ez pei lite ez
| cud. Well, would yer think it, purity
soon we wuz a-talkin' over the fence jest ez
pleasant ez anybody cud want ter be, end,
by gosh, the fust thing L knowed l wuz a
sittin' on the top rail within jest ez
material ez yer please.
Whew, but thet widder wuz talker; she
jest knowed whut to say, end the fust thing
| knowed the sun wuz settin en- my hoin
wuzent done. but kinder felt good to think
thet she he'd cum by thet way. What did
she talk about? Everything; mostly about
how lonesom it wuz to be d widder end hev
nobody to look after the critters eXceptin'
the hired man. She sed hired men wuz on
reliable end he'd no Judgement. Then we
talked about hogs end how as she wuz
agoin' to try en- fatten up lot Nv hern
end try to sell EN-, end she wanted to know
my lernin' about raZer backs, end ez l
knowed all about EN- / talked purity WE'LL
end the upshot wuz l agreed to git up
lot NV EN- frum the hollers end run EN- inter
hog pen end show her how to feed EN-
end git EN- ez fat ez they cud be got.
Well, by gosh, the next day | wuz chasin'
razer backs all through the sapins in her
hollers, warm out my natur drivin' them
ornery hogs to her pens Did yer ever try
to drive a razer back? WE'LL well! yer ort to
try it once. Ye see the way to- git razer
bo, al 70 hor opt him, 10 &c 10
git in frunt NV him end make him think yer
want him to go frum yer; well, he will take
a circle and git behind yer ez sure ez guns !;
so yer see yer hev to circle every time to
git around him, end the bark wuz amost
all gone from my shins frum fallin' over
stumps end saplins before got ez meney ez
she wanted into the pen. Eny way, did
it, end when she cum out end thanked me
in sich a perlite manner l fergot all about
my shins, end sot there end talked about
feedin' them, tellin' her how to make a
mush out NV pertaters, corn meal end bran,
entil it wuz plum dark end she asked me
wud | cum in end set awhile, end ez wuz
a batchin' it, end nobody expectin' me home,
l thought ez how / mought jest ez we'll be
obligin', seein' ez how she wuz lonly like
eny way; so l went in end took sum supper
Well, wud yer believe it. Them hogs
took most NV my time, fur between cookin
mush end feedn them end talkinI to the
widder, end chasin back sum Nv the raze1
backs tibet wud git through the cracks in the
pen, l wuz bizzy frum six in the mornin till
dark.
Well plum clean fergot tibet he'd crar
NV pertaters to look after, end they dident
turn out ez good ez | thought they wuz
| agoin to; but | didn't seem to mind thet sc
much ez my hull time wuz put in on hogs
end it seemed to me thet L wuz lernin the
widder good deal about fatnin razer backs
Purity soon them hogs got jest ez fat ez
razer back ever cud git, end the widder writ
letter to some man in Kansas City to cum
end look at EN- end make her en- offer. Wei
he cum, end he wuz drest fit to kill, he'd {
black suit NV close on end a white shirt
end totted a overcoat on his arm, end helc
cane like ez if he hedent eny use fer it bu
ter balence hisself with it. He looked et
the hogs, end he looked ct the widder, sec
they wuz fine hogs, end looked ez though h,
wuz athnkin thet the widder wuz q mighty
sight finer, end then he went inter the hous,
with her ter draw up ther contract, end i
seemed ter me thet the contract must he,
been ez long ez the laws NV Moses, fer the,
never cum out doors till nigh dark WI
a setttn on the hog pen all this time
squirmin kinder uneasy like end not KNOWN
what wuz expected NV me; l was onsartil
whether to go in the house er go home. Wei
eny way L kinder felt like L wuz a loosil
sumpin all that evenin, end | wanted to jes
yell to thet feller thet L cud lik him, end
knowed thet wudent do no good, end mebb
spile the sale Nv the hogs, SO l Jest sot en-,
roominated and wiggled.
Nigh onto dark he cum out wv the hous,
end went away, end the widder cum to th
back door end let on ez though ez if sh,
wuz taken all Nv sudden, end sez, "Why
Mr. Smith, ez thet you?"-jest like ct cue
be eny body else; and | sed, ''Yes marin, i
be-" end then she askt me to cum in en-,
set awhile. l tell yer it diden't take me lon,
fer me to git ofen thet hog pen end inter tn,
house.
Well, we sot there end talked about tn
razer backs, end she said ez how he'd bel
so good like ter look after EN- fer her, ent
she wuz agoin ter git sich nice price fe
EN-, end purity soon | picked up enougl
spunk ter pop ther question to her rit
there, ez l thought she wuz under so mucl
favor to ME end she aspeaken it herself
Lord Almighty, yer never see sich chang
in any persin thet God Almighty ever mad
ez there wuz in that widder. She looked e
ef she he'd he'd chill, en- then she locke,
ez if she smelled sumpin bad, and the upsho
NV it wuz she told me thet she he'd onl
allowed me to come into her house lbecaus
she lowed she mought be able to teach m
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