The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1898-11-02
HUMOR OF The DAY.

Tommy, who was Joan OF Arc?"
asked the teacher. 'Noah's wife,"
was Tommy's guess.
At every picnic every guest secretly
believes that every other guest didn't
bring her share. .-Atchison Globe.
"Willie, how can it be that you love
your grandma better than your own
parents?" "She allus let's me help
myself to pie. Detroit Free Press.
Reputation is good deal like a
linen suit" "How's that?" when
you undertake to wash it, it always
shrinks the wrong way. Detroit Free
Press.
"Here 10 ~ ~irture-'The Garden
OF EdeA. p" ''"hy, man. you're crazy!
This is winter scene." "Of course
it is--that's picture Of the Garden
after the fall. Truth.
~ hope 1 see you well," he said
duently to the old farmer leaning on
his hoe. ''I hope you do, was the
unexpected answer; 'but if you don't
see me well, young man, put on
specs"
"How much longer will I have to
wait on you?" asked the impatient man
Of the busy clerk. "In few minutes
shall be waiting on you" replied the
clerk with a smile. le.-Philadelphia
North American.
She-"You never did care for me.
You only married me for my money"
He-"Now you are not only cruel, but
absurd. 1 should like to know how
could have got your money any other
way?"-Boston Transcript.
''She says that he proposed to her.
but that they are not engaged" But
they knew her and they laughed long
and loud. "The only problem, they
said, ''is to decide which of the two
statements is false. Chicago Post.
Old Million-''You want my daugh.
ter, ehP Now, sir, tell me in what
single instance have you ever ex-
hibited any business tact?" Jake
Fellows-"Well, that's easy enough.
I picked on you for father-in-law."
Mr.. Floody-"Now, Franklin, my
son, I have at last made the great fact
OF the evolution OF species clear to
you, have 1 not?" Franklin Floody-
"Oh, yes, papa; understand Before
I was born, you and mamma were
monkeys. Truth.
Judge "There was no necessity Of
you assaulting this man and breaking
his camera, just because he tried to
take a snapshot of you. What else
did he do?" Prisoner Nothing,
your honor. He pressed tho button
and did the rest. Standard.
Mrs. Dashleigh CT see here, Ethel,
that every name has meaning Thus
Harold means brave, Charles means
gay, Richard" Miss Dashleigh
(interruptingly)-"O, 1 know what
Dick means, ma. He means busi-
ness. He told me SO last night. -
Boston Globe.
"Can you tell me-" asked his wife
bCOruiully, ulVoI iOOhihB V'OA oho
property he just purchased, what
ever induced you to buy this placer"
"I can," he answered promptly.
"What?" she demanded. "One af
the smartest real estate agents in this
part Of the country"
"Why have you broken off your en-
gagement with the Fraulein Olga?"
"She was too affectionate! She was
always throwing her arms around my
neck and kissing me and exclaiming.
Robert, my only RobertP" "Why,
should think you would have felt
fiatteredr' "Flattered2 But my
name isn't Robertl"-- Der Floh.
1.-TWO Spaniards went up in bal
loon. The balloon burst. What ma
tionality were they when they came
DOWN." asked the conundrum man.
"Give it up" grimly responded the
stupid man. "One came down Rus
sian and the other got tangled up In
the telegraph wires and came down q
Pole," was the response. .-Chautau.