The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1898-07-28
Sforyeffes.

chair for customers. The little old
black man who was the general valet
and also porter for the house was CIV
ing my shoes shine. He was the sort
of darky that his associates and peO-
pie generally down there called a
guinea Niger" having a very small
and bald head, shaped like cocoanut.
He was deeply engaged at his work
and was grooming to himself an extern
pore song, after the manner of his kind.
The war fever being high and every
body talking about it, it was but nat
ural that the artists song should have
been suggested by it, so he was singing:
II ain gwine to Cuba, no sub! no sub!
ain gwine to Cuba, Heah me what say?
l ain gwine to Cuba; no sub! no sub!
Ise gwine to stay erway fun dar;
ain gwine to Cuba.'
His customer looking from behind a
newspaper, inquired abruptly:
"Why are you not going to Cuba?'
The little old fellow was somewhat
surprised, but he quickly recovered
Ills UdldllCO dllU ICplICO
'Dey tells me, boss, dat dem Spaniels
is got guns down dar dat shoots TO-
mile an den filings rocks fur half er
'our. Yes, sub, OATS why aim gwine
to Cuba" will Visscher.
The day after the Mississippi regi-
ment arrived Colonel Guild, Inspector
general, called at the camp on official
business. The Southern colonel receiv-
ed him most effusively, saying: "Wel-
come to this camp, sab, want you to
step into my tent and try some of the
finest Mississippi whiskey, sah."
"But," protested the inspector, II
have called to inspect your camp.
Won't you please issue the necessary
orders for inspection?"
"Inspection, sab? L don't know as l
exactly understand you? You see, sab,
the boys made me colonel of this regi-
ment. But, assure you, sab, | know
absolutely nothing about military af-
fairs. | leave all such matters to my
adjutant. Now, sab, [ think it's
long time between drinks, sah"
With colonel who knows nothing
about military affairs, the dicipline in
the ranks of that Mississippi regiment
may be imagined. During the inspec-
ton of the rank and file, whom the ad-
jutant at last drew up in line, the in
spector general came to gray-haired
private who handled his piece with
some skill
"This is evidently not new business
to you?" remarked the inspector.
"No, sab" replied the private, II serv-
ed the Southern Confedercy from 81 to
'65, sab, and tell you Pm profoundly
glad to be inspected today, sab, by
Southern inspector, sah.'
"But Pm not Southernor," said Col.
Guild. I'm from Boston,
Whereupon the private threw his gun
to the ground, advanced to where Col.
Guild stood, and embraced him, well
coming him to the regiment Sin the
name of Mississippi, sah.'-Gilson Will
lets in Golfers Weekly.
O&O
A few days ago case was in one of
the courts that involved a receiver for
a building association. The plaintiff
was a highly respected German who
knew what he wanted, but in some
manner the attorney had not taken the
steps that his client desired When the
plaintiff was on the stand his attorney
examined him at length. During the
examination the old gentleman became
excited and answered the questions in
such way that the judge was under
the impression that he didn't thorough
ly understand the questions and an.
swers. He declared that he didn't want
receiver, that he didn't want his at
torney to take the step, and that all he
wanted was his money
AT this point the Judge suggested
that the court interpreter be sent for,
that the German might make himself
more clearly understood. But he de-
clared that he understood what he
wanted, and that was his money, and if
he failed to get it he would kill himself.
To ascertain if he knew what he
wanted the judge said:
"Do you know what a receiver is?"
eyes, sir; do, SIR said the honest
German; she vos der man vot gifts der
monish und gifts nottings."
This convinced the judge that the
plaintiff knew quite we'll what he want
ed and what he was talking about. SO
the interpreter was dispensed with, for
the time being at least.
Il guess" said the judge, in conclu-