Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1898-08-26
What a Drummer
Saw and Thought

COMING on the train from Bone.
u Vile yesterday | sat behind two
boys who were trying 10 impress me
and everyone else in the smoking car
with the fact that they were men OF
the world and fairly desperate char
acters.
They were between Is and 20, should
Judge, and this age, under proper con
ditious, represents the full bloom of
amateur deviltry and foolishness. These
boys were not from the country. They
were from Bonneville, and they affected
that superior manner and easy knowl-
edge of the world which come from a
long residence IN town.
From the moment they came into the
car and fell into their seats with smil-
ing abandon they were acting. They
wanted everyone 10 know that they
were experienced and reckless young
men TO whom a journey by railroad was
an everyday incident. Perhaps they
deceived each other, but they didn't de-
ceive anyone else. Their acting was
too labored.
SAY, Ed, have YOU another cigar
there in your pock.t?'
What. the diff II l havoc"
Amt you goin' TO set EN- up to a
smoke"
why the dickens didn't you buy
some cigars before We started? You
might know we cant get no good cigars
over at Ransom. They don't keep any
kind over there but them regular
stogi-."
ON, rats! BE a sport and set 'em
up
These Introductory remarks were
made in tones which aroused everyone
in the car. An old-time travelling man
across the aisle from me had his head
| down on his grip and was trying 10
catch a little sleep when the two be-
gan. He opened his eyes slowly and
shook his head.
Two more of those train-robbers,"
he murmured.
Before the train started the two des-
peradoes made several illusions TO some
experience Of the night before. They
made frequent use Of the word beer"
in order 10 let il he known that they
were confirmed drinkers and, also. they
garnished their loud talk with clumsy
swearing.
There are several kinds of profanity.
and some of il is lot only endurable,
but actually enjoyable. if you can dis
regard the question Of morality. \
commander urging his soldiers in the
madness of battle j. not generally
blamed if he swears a little. y cowboy
handling a broucho. a boss cauvasman
directing u circus gang an impatient
al milking COW IN fytime, freight
brakeman who misses "A coupling or
bike rider who smaShes his wheel ten
miles from a repair shop may let ont
string of cNpletives that are simply pie
turesque in variety and intensity. !
don't say that these men are jus tilted in
giving vent 10 their feelings, but l do
say that sometimes it is worth going
miles 20 hear them.
But abhor the swearing Of the young
man who does not know how 10 swear.
He does not swear by impulse or from
habit. He has 10 struggle 10 accom-
plsh anything. and he j. half ashamed
Of himself at tie time. Under such cir
cumstances profanity becomes an APP
paliing wickeduess. even TO the most
hardened "rounder."
rs sat behind those two boys and
listened 20 their noisy discussion of the
late orgies and their painful efforts 20
impress us with their worldliness il oc-
curreG - me that il would be a good
idea to tatS those two boys out and
have them photographed in their sum
mer suits, with the fiashy white felt
hats and rainbow crayats, and after
that let them talk for about 80 minutes
into photograph.
Twenty years from now, after they
have become seedy and hard-headed
married men, with, growing children Of
their own, il wouldfive them cause for
reflection if they could take out these
photographs and study them and then
listen 10 their own conversation in the
photograph. No doubt they would ex-
claim: What spectacular bladders we
must have been"
The two boys on the train were fair
~ good types. l have seen the same
kind Of young man in every small town.
Sometimes my sense of humanity !
moves me TO appeal TO the young man.
! feel as IL ought 10 60 up echim and
say: "My dear boy, don't be so desper-
ate. Don't think because you worry
your mother that you are really bad. !
There are thousands of young men in |
this country who wear their hats pulled |
forward and their cigars pointed up the
same as you have them. and they have |
the same kind OF toothpick shoes and !