The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1898-10-25

selves TO the females as dude offers a
box OF candy to the ladies he calls upon.
| That wasn't all of Sans rigid ad-
| herence 10 the truth. for he galloped his
| pen along 10 tell how in prodding around
he had found three human bodies thai
mad been picked in the brine for centu-
res Sam wrote that they were bodies
| OF members of some dod-rotted race
who lived eighty centuries before he
| lujuns jumped Nevada for their own.
| Yet, says Sam, so perfect had been the
action of the salt that not one line on
their NOBLE faces had been effaced by the
fingers of 10000 years The bodies were
of two young men and "a girl Of marvel
Gus beauty Sam always made his girls
pretty, being little soft that tray. Love
mad evidently brought about another of
the tragedies that old time used so I'M
successfully as examples. The two
young rivals had spears in their necks
and glaring hate in their eyes while the
olingiug to the manly form Of the war
rior with q wart on his chin. Thus does
the God of Nature record the sins of past
generations. making the simplicity of
truth more impressive than the most Skill-
full tale OF fiction.
Say, Sam says l. this is sure a
startler | thought your system was to
play only facts this game
- Well says Sam, those facts we're
so good that old Bowers gave me double
space rates. The trouble with you is
that you don't avoid monotony in your
facts. You don't discriminate, George.
The gray matter in your head is as course
as a gravel bank. As a journalist, George,
you wouldn't last any longer than clean
shirt in a fight What you really need
is to have me tell your stories for YOU.
Then you'll have a brilliant reputation,
old man. Then you'll be a narrator Ct
note.
Another time Sam and discovered
little gold in a place called Lawson
Flats. The fact was there was no wood
there. not enough 10 make a riding
switch / told Sam to emphasize the
lack of wood in his article, so MS to
scare prospectors away and leave Law
son Flats 10 us but when l saw his pa
per / read as how the cottonwoods
waved their great arms by the ripping
brooks and groves of plnons sighed on
the hills about Lawson Flats. An the
riff-ran of the camp made for such an
attractive diggngs. When / reproacn
ed Sam with perfidy he says, airily:
Now, George, we both may be
forced to admit that the Almighty
slipped up now and then when ne made
scenery, having a good deal to make
in a free-hand, sketchy sort of way, but
you can't say that Sam Clements is
backward when he is called upon 10
piece out a job or Two that the Creator
left unfinished. If there is anything !
pride myself upon it is being neat and
thorough. Shame on you, George Hearst
says he, reproachful a-plenty.
Several times the newspaper outfit
joined me in prospecting but We never
made any strikes Yet Sam was a keen
Judge of ore, and could tell heap from
the general lay of the land. Sam used
to say that the reason he did not strike
it rich was because he tried to use his
alleged brains instead of playing just
simple fool luck as a wise man should
do. Once Petey Dickinson, Brown, Sam
and I were off with a wagon outfit. We
made such a long trip of it that chuck
got low, and we were on short rations
when we drove up to stone ranch house
kept by a Missouri family When Sam
sawed they was from Missouri nothing
would do but that we fpregather with
them around the festal board.
1t only demands six bits EACH, says
he. and what is six bits compared with
the moral uplift of genteel Missouri So
cety not to mention the escape from
the sorrow of the cooking of this George
Hearst? Let's pun up the dust and buy
a Renaissance that will wear for years
so we goes in, and Sam, finding two
pretty daughters, gets gay and jovial
like the corn-fed gent he was 1t was
good supper; fried chicken and new eggs,
by thunder! That family never saved no
fortune out of our six bits that trip. Sam
Clemens kept throwing bluffs about how
he would recognize Missouri cooking if
he should meet it at Delmonico's, until
the girls snickered and brought in what
they called Missouri batter cakes for
Sam. Sam nearly cried for joy.
=" Gentlemen, says he. dear old Mis-
souri, may not be the mother of Presi-
dents, but she has never lost the proud
title OF mother of pancakes. I'm grieved,
gentlemen, that the power of prophecy
has been denied me, or I'd not have rent
ed out any of the floors of my stomach
to mere chicken, when 1 might have been
dicke1ing with Missouri pancakes
He reached for a big white cake and
started in. We saw him pause. look sor-
rowful plenty, and leave the table, while
the girls nearly choked with giggles.
Those cakes were cottonwood chips fried
in batter Sam tried to break even by
writing up the ranch and describing the
girls as cross-eyed, but the last time l
saw him in Frisco he said he never really
got over being hungry for what he
thought he was going to get that day.
Sam Clemens never forgets friend,
though / haven't seen Dan or Petey
since they pulled out, from Nevada, but
Sam has sent me his books, and was sure
glad to see me four years ago in Frisco.
$50 put water in 1t, and you'll come out
all right" concluded the old man as he
went back TO the bar to begin the business
of the week