davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-02-24
ALL OXEN LOOKED ALIKE.
Reason Why a Lawyer Couldn't Tell On

Reason Why q Lawyer Couldn't Tell One
Animal from Another.
From the New Orleans Times-Dem-
ocrat: An ambitious young lawyer
paid his first visit to a country court
holding its session not far from New
Orleans not long since. He went to
represent a big railroad in a suit
brought by a c%ountryman to cover
the value Of an OK, which departed
this life in a vain attempt to hold
up the limited mail. The question be-
fore the court was n of identified
ton, and the countryman had testi-
fed that he knew the OK by its color
and the flesh marks. The young city
lawyer % and with dignity said: eff
your honor please, there ear be no
question that this witness has sworn
falsely when he testified that an OK
car be recognized by his color. I was
a stenographer before l became a law
yer, and for two days, your honor
drawing out his notebook, l have TAX
en- a detailed description of every OK
that passed the hotel, and l am pre-
pared to swear as an expert that all
oxen look alike to me-"
you are trifling with the dignity
of this court, sir" sternly said the
Judge, land 1 will fine"
Hold on, Judge" said the clerk
there hain't been but n yoke OF x
en- in this town in a week. Old man
Henley's been a-haulin' wood, and the
lawyers been counting the same oxen
over and over"
Judgment for plaintiff" said the
judge, and the city lawyer, glad to es-
cape the wrath of his honor, took his
departure. a sadder bat wiser man.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-02-24

The figures relating to the operation
OF the Filled Cheese law from the time
1t went into effect. September 6, 1896,
to the end Of the fiscal year, June 80,
1897, have been completed. During the
period, 1.663, 067 pounds of filed cheese
were produced. The number Of factor
les engaged in the industry was seven,
all located in Illinois. The tax of /
cent a pound, amounting to SIG, $50,
was collected. In addition. the seven
factories paid a special tax at the rate
OF $500 per annum Only one whole
sale establishment, located in Mary
land, qualified under the law and paid
q special tax of $3.50 per annum. There
were sixty-two retail establishments,
each of which paid a special tax of SIP
per annum. No filled cheese was with
drawn for expectation during the per-
iod covered by the governments fig
ures.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-02-24

assets consisted of Il m~ortgageu right
of way through the %sagebrush and sew
eral completed but detached sections Oh
a big ditch.
Mr.. Brick Whalen, the contractor U"
section No. 8, had finished h hea'!
work there, and was preparing 10
move camp to section No. q wheh 'he
company went broke. 1t was. in fact'
upon the very day the suspension was
posted that Whalen, having lad his con-
tract work inspected, took the ensih-
GERS certificate up to headquarters u
get his check. He received insteao d
statement that the company WAS III
temporary difficulties and an assuf-
ance that it would soon resume.
Whalen had before this worked ior
shaky corporations; he knew better
and lost no time in acting on his
knowledge.
NO good howlin' over a broken pipe
or tryin' to save the pieces he toid
himself. To his gang of twenty men
he said: "B'ys, the company's broke
and 81 am |. can't pay We, and L
can't feed We. You got to rustic.
What's the matter with us taking
the mules?" said one.
Them mules and scrapers don't be-
long to me, as I've often told ye, said
Whalen, whose custom it was to refer
to a legendary hacker. This ditching
outfit is the property of Martin, oil San
Francisco, and any man that NEEDLES
with it will get the sheriff after him.
I'll take one, just the same" said
Shorty, "and tell Martin he can nave
him again when my wages is PAID.
That's about fair"
A few others took the same view OF
the equities involved. and took mules,
to which Whalen made only a wordy
resistance. Most Of the men were in
duced to accept orders on the defunct
company for the amount due them
payable with large interest. And II
you don't get it very soon, the interest
will double your money" said Whalen'
When the last man had gone, Whalen
went out to the corral and counted the
mules. "Forty-one head; that was a
pretty close CALL" said he.
1t was late in the season to find an
other job of scraping, but the mules
could not live on sagebrush. and were
at once started for the railroad. On
a small stream where camp was made
one night, a band of trail sheep was
also camped. Whalen eyed them dis
painfully.
Il see the beggars eat sage" said
he.
why, certainly" replied the sheep
man; that's the finest kind Of feed
for sheep"
II wish work mules would do that
said Brick. Il never was so rcar q
sheep in my life," he continued; 1.-The
smell of 'em a mile away is enough for
me. Funny little fellows, and they
look some like mules, with ears ant
tails cut off. What do you do with
them?"
Double our money on them every
twelve months" was the reply.
No extended description OF sheep
farming would have impressed the
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-02-24
AT COURT.

Imperial Household of Austria Curbs
Its Extravaganza.
According to the Vienna papers, the
domestic arrangements of the imperial
household of Austria have recently
been subjected to reforms of the most
radical nature. Hitherto, it is stated,
the waste and mismanageLlent have
been gigantic. says the London Daily
News. Now, however, many ancient
usages-some of them dating from the
time of Maria T~heresa-have disap-
peared forever. Formerly the servants
enjoyed many perquisites, which
amounted to a very considerable sum
during the year. There we're ''deputa-
ten or allowances of wood, wine or
venison. Each domestic, too, used to
receive two large wax candles daily in
summer and three in winter. In future
the "~deputaten" will be abolished and
there will be a vigorously fixed weekly
allowance of candles, which will not
err on the side of extravaganza. The
liveries of the court servants have also
been the subject Of reforms. Those
used to remain the property of the
wearers when they were changed for a
new outfit. Now, they must be re-
turned to the superintendent of the
household. In past years the wine
consumed by the servants has amount
ed to some $4,000 litres a year This, it
is estimated, will in future be reduced
by two-thirds. The custom of permit
ting the servants to appropriate and
sell the remains of all the household
meals and banquets is to be done away
with. On the occasion of ceremonial
banquets the perquisites on this head
have frequently amounted to 40 or
80 forms a head to the attendants con-
cerned. In future the remains of all
such banquets are to be purchased en-
bloc from the comptroller by a con-
tractor. In these and other matters
the house Of Hapsburg has determined
in future not to despise domestic econ
Omy.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-02-24
FUNNYGRAPHS

Not His Fault.-'I've been riding on
the elevated for five years, and I've
offered a lady a seat" Then
you've had any manners" THAT
isn't it. I've never yet had a seat
Harlem Life.
Smythe-I wonder what idiot orig
mated the phrase, There's no account
ing for taste" Tompkins-Why
Smythe-Because I'd like to get at him!
I've just been accounting to the MILL
ner and modiste for my wife's taste.
Brooklyn Life.
A Study in Motive.-"Say, old man,
Just supposing l had the choice, would
you advise me to marry an ugly girl
with money, or a pretty girl without
money!" "A pretty girl without money,
by all means. That would give you the
name of having money yourself DE
troit Journal. .
Charley said young Mrs. Torkins,
81 have made q, discovery" -" hope
it isn't anything about athletics" re-
piled her husband, apprehensively. ut
is. though. l know now why nature
doesn't put any hair on the heads Of
young children. 1t is to keep them
from becoming football players too
early in life.'-Washington Star.
Dear" she said softly, according to
the Cleveland Plain Dealer, 81 have
cruelty deceived YOU" His brow dark
ened. He had heard such talk before
Oh the stage. go on" he Missed. Ct
/ told you,'' she stammered. that 1
had taken a course of lessons at the
cooking school. 1t was fa-false!' He
staggered back. Then the full mean
ing of her confession dawned upon
him. With a wild cry of joy he strain
ed her to his ~exulting heart,
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-02-24

A jury in Pennsylvania gave a man
damages in one hundred dollars for
disfellowship from q local church and
consequent "loss of his spiritual life"
There is no man, guilty or innocent,
who might not be damaged in that
way; and if the decision is to hold
there is grave danger of the breaking
up of a good many churches. How
ever, organization is not everything
and there is always the consolation Of
having a mugwump chureh-everS
man for himself and the gentleman
down below for the hindmost.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-02-24

BROWSING ON THE RANK SAGE.
double your money" was his own ia
miliar phrase for describing any hope
full venture, and on hat evening he
smoked many pieces of black plug
over it. A brute hat can thrive on a
brush diet and double your money
every year is an interesting creature.
At daybreak, Whalen was in the
sheep-camp negotiating a trade of
sheep for mules on a basis of fifty to
one, and prepared to accept much less.
Three days later, he sat in the door of
the shack which had long done dutv
as messhouse on section 8 of the ca
nal, as many ar evening before he had
sat watching the mules come in from
water. Tonight there was never a
mule in sight. Down the breeze came
a pungent odor and a tinkling of little
bellies. Over the crest of an adjacent
hill appeared the doch browsing on the
rank sage.
They do look some like mules" he
soliloquized, "and I'll bet I'm the only
Irishman in America ever owned a
herd of sheep"
Winter came and passed, and the
only Irishman p%rospered. By roofing
in a cut with brush he had commodious
sheds, and cross sections of poles di-
vided the broad ditch into as many
corrals as he chose. The sheep were
fat and carried heavy feeces.
Whalen had for help two boys who
had wandered there and asked for
work. He had proposed to hire one of
them, but the boys protested that they
had never been separated, and that if
the2 got jobs at different ranches "the
other one wouldn't know where the
other n was" a contingency which
they could not abide. So Whalen Of
iered to take the two at the price of
one, and on that basis they shared
with him the shack, herded the flock,
ana cooked the grub. They soon knew
as much. or as little, about sheep as
Brick himself and the proprietor found
opportunity to break the monotony of
camp life by occasional trips to the
railroad. and once to San Francisco.
I'm going to see my friend Martin"
he told the boys. Now tend to bust
ness and don't let any get away" And
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-02-24

After twenty years and more of ef-
fort the opening of the Indian Terri
tory to modern civilization has been
assured. and tribal ownership of the
soil will soon be ended. The treaty
between the Dawes commission and
the Creeks provides for an allotment
OF 16O acres to each Indian citizen and
for the sale of the remainder at public
auction. This will throw open 600 .00C
acres, or 95S square miles, to white
settlement, and the treaty about to he
closed with the Chickasaws will place
ten times as great an area of land or
sale.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-02-24

Rudyard Kipling has written one of his
best stories for the 1898 volume of The
YOUTHS Companion. '"The b Irning of the
Sarah Sands is its title, and it is q stir
ring tale. of heroism in the ranks. Those
VINO subscribe TO The Youths Compan-
ion now will receive the paper free for
the rest of the year, and The Companions
twelve color calendar for 1898. The Com
panions yearly calendars are recognized
as among the richest and most costly
examples of this form of art.
Illustrated Prospectus of the volume
for 1898 and sample copies of the paper
sent on application. Address.
THE YOUTHS COMPANION, =
207 Columbus Ave, Boston, Mass.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-02-24
500 Reward, 1 o

The readers of this paper will be
pleased to learn that there is at least one
dreaded disease that science has been able
to cure in all its stages and that Is Ca
tarrh. Halls Catarrh Cure is the only
positive cure now known to the medical
fraternity. Catarrh being a constitution
treatment. Halls Catarrh Cure is taken
internally. acting directly upon the blood
and mucous surfaces of the system,
disease, and giving the patient strength
by building up the constitution and as
sisting nature in doing its work. The
curative powers that they offer One Hun
dred Dollars for any case that it fails to
cure. Send for list of Testimonials.
o..
Sold by druggists 75c. -4,'
Halls Family Pills are the best
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-02-24

We are no longer compelled to
walk on stony beaches, holding On to
our hats, or back hair. as the case
may be. and wishing that when
benches were provided at the sea
shore. they were not invariably placed
in the hottest sunshine. We need not
get up at unholy and %unearthly hours
in order to go fishing and shooting,
but we can buy our fish and game
like rational beings.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-02-24
Good Darkey Stories.

A Georgia man who had made
flying machine offered a negro SO to
make a trial trip in it.
The negro agreed, got in position
and he and the machine were hoisted
by block and tackle about thirty feei
from terra firma. &
When the rope was Ioosened the ma
chine took a sudden slanting course
towards earth and plunged into an ad'
jacent millpond.
1t disappeared with the negro be.
meath the water, while the terrified in
ventor stood shrieking for assistance
Presently the negro's head bobbed vi
serenely and he struck out for dry
land. On arriving his first splutteret
words were:
"In de name of God. Marse John
why didn't you tell dat fool thing whai
ter 'light?"
An old darby. being informed thai
q member of his race had forged a
note on a bank, exclaimed:
Oats what comes err e~ddication. ]
got ten chillun, but, thank de Lawd
" oAC Ci uOAA hih 1Cdu Cl WIltc.
An old negro heavyweight applied
to the local dispenser of patronage fol-
q government position.
What are your qualifications? ?" he
was asked.
My qualifications"
Yes"
We'll, subj" he said, drawing him
self up proudly, Use all wool an a
yard wide'-Atlanta Constitution.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-02-24
A Strange Proceeding.

Anonymous" is to have a statue.
1t will be set up in Hungary at the
expense Of Emperor Francis Joseph,
being n of a large number to be
erected to Hungarian worthless. This
particular Anonymous is the unknown
notary of King Bella, who wrote the
Chronicle of Hungary"
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-02-24

Let us hope that the woman whs has
contracted to clean many of the streets
OF Chicago will make her work as lit
tie like a house cleaning as possible,
for some of the men Of that town want
to stay at home occasionally.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-02-24
2fS5s& CURE FOR
CURES WHERE ALL ELSE FAILS.
Best Cough Syrup. Tastes Good. Use
Va in time. Sold by druggists.
CONSUMPTION
A ThOusanI-MiIc Flight,

A remarkable account of the flight OF
the homing pigeon is communicated by
the premier of New Zealand to n colo
NAL paper. He states that the bird
flew from Victoria TO New Zealand In
three days. The distance is about n
thousand miles, and the bird must
have flown without a rest at a speed
of about fifteen miles an hour.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-02-24

Rev. Arehimedes Colbert, pastor of
a church at Mile Run, Ohio, has
preached some sermons so strong that
he made many enemies. Monday night
he was shot from ambush and will
die.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-02-24
Overheard by the Wooden 1

Overheard by the Wooden Indian.
Byer-What kind of a cigar do you
prefer?
Gyer-I always like a dark cigar
with a light end.
~Byer-Good joke; but when you're
smoking it's a light at both ends.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-02-24
Poor Gc0rEc.

Wife-Is that you, George?
Husband-Yes, my dear.
Wife-O, I'm so glad! I'm anyways
afraid there's a man in the house till
you come.-Up-to-Date.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-02-24
One in the Family.

And. now, children, what is a GEN.
turion? Well, Willie?"
please, ma'am, my brother is one"
Your brother is one?'
Yes, ma'am; he made a century last
Saturday.'-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-02-24

Burglars represented themselves as
plumbers, and gained entrance 20 a
rich mans residence the other day and
stole 81. 800 worth of property. Sup
pose they had been plumbers?
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-02-24

In Wayne, Neb., the other day three
former husbands of the same wife met
and called upon her and her present
spouse. A pleasant reunion followed
and 1t was decided to hold an annual
convention ~heneeforth every fall.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-02-24
WHALEN'S RANCH.
HALEN'S luck was

HALEN'S luck was
eopious, and it be-
came %proverbial;
the facts here re-
corded are but spe-
cimen pages from
the book of his ex-
%perience.
When the Con-
solidated Canai
Company went IN
.--alrnnGr ITS
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-02-24

I'm sorry the baseball season is
over" she said, thoughtfully.
Were you interested in the game?'
Not in the game itself. But l like
to go with my husband and hear him
cheer and cheer. 1t was the only time
knew that man to exhibit anything
like a cheerful disposition
ton Star.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-02-24

A young woman dressed in red from
top to toes went gaily scorching down
the street. She's riding straight to
Satan" remarked a salvationist as she
wheeled by.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-02-24

Now that Neal Dow is dead the
Bangor system" is being generally
adopted in the Maine cities. The
Bangor system" means that anybody
can sell liquor and not be annoyed by
prosecutions. 1t is similar to the "sys-
tens in vogue in many cities outside
of Maine.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-02-24

The Michigan Central and the Lake
Shore railroads have refused to issue
mileage tickets at $50. and Gov. Pin
gree is right on their trail.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-02-24

When a woman finds that her new dress
doesn't match her complexion, 1T is al
ways an easy matter to change her COM
plexion.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-02-24

Everything we see is surely perish
ing. OF all things in this world or in
the world to come the truth alone
survives.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-02-24

Now" said the attorney for the de-
tense, here is a skull. Can you tell
lis to what species it belongs?"
Its the skull of a lawyer" replied
the expert witness.
How can you tell it?'
by the cheek bones, here. They are
much more prominent and of a harder
substance than those Of the ordinary
skull."-North American.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-02-24

Blessed be the inventor who succeeds
in perfecting a device that will compel a
man to shut up when he has said enough.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-02-24

A mans enemies never kick him when
he is down: they stand aside and let his
friends do that.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-02-24

The young wife has her first doubts of
her husbands love, when he begins TO
read the newspaper at breakfast.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-02-24

Men sometimes think they understand
women, but men are sometimes very fool
ish.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-02-24

Everybody loves a lover-with the pos
sibic exception of the old man and the
dog.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-02-24

1t is the man who has always been ac-
customed to- corn bread and bacon at
home who does the most kicking at a
first-class hotel.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-02-24

lTk anu StIIT,
Love is dead!"
She heard a sigh. ~
Sweet and low!
Her heart beat high,
She forgot her woe, 4
And the glad wind blew,
And the sun burst through
The clouds o'erhead-
The darkness fed,
And then
She looked with joy
On the laughing boy
For Love had come to life
again!
Cleveland Leader.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-02-24
OUR BUDGET OF FUN.
SOME GOOD JOKES, ORIGINAL
AND SELECTED.
Wanted to TAX His Choice-Stagc
Kissing-Some Good Darkey Stories
Her Interest In the Game-BorrOwed
Laughing Stock. !
a Resurrection.

II. Love is dead
She said;
''Flown through the
open door,!
Never more
While the sad winds
blow
And the sad brooks
flow
Shall there be
For me
The old, sweet. hap-
by thrill
Joy has fed,
And the world is
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-02-24

Bacchus claims more victims than
Neptune,
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-02-24

Educate Your Bowels with Cascarets
Candy Cathartic. Cure constipation forever. Zoe.
25c. II c. c. c.. fail. druggists refund money.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-02-24

TO CURE A COLD IN ONE DAY.
Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets. All
Druggists refund the money If 1t fails to cure. Csc
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-02-24

Don't Tobacco Spit and Smoke Your Life Away.
To quit tobacco easily and forever, be mag
netic. full of life, nerve and vigor, take ,No!To.
BAG, the wonder-worker, that makes weak men
strong. All druggists, 50c or 81. Cure guaran-
teed. Booklet and sample free. Address
Sterling Remedy Co., Chicago or New York
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-02-24

If some men were known by the COM
pany they keep they wouldn't be able
to keep it ,crg.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-02-24
. Yes!

Houston. Tex, has a lawyer named
Crank. And there are others.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-02-24

Weyler goes and Blanco comes and
the deadly work goes on forever.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-02-24

Star Tobacco is the leading brand Of
the world, because it is the best.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-02-24

do you think kissing right to be
allowed on the stage?"
"Well l think the lips are prefer
able.''-Leslie's Monthly.
Evening journal., 1898-01-11
EDITORIAL COMMENT.

The trouble between England and
France is plain. England wants a
strip Of territory through the conti-
nent from north to south and France
wants a line OF communication across
the continent from east to west. Nat
urally the lines oss.-Indianapolis
News.
There are few people down in
Texas who are so deluded as to believe
the administration is losing sleeps over
the Republican factional fight in that
state. At the present time one vote
In the Ohio Legislature is more impor-
tant to the administration than the en-
tire Republican party OF the South
Washington Post.
AT union religious meeting in Co
lumbus, Ohio, tho other evening glee
club from local deaf and dumb insti-
tuition sang Nearer, My God to Thee"
in the sign language 1t Is a pity that
some other glee clubs do not employ
their activities in the same harmless
way.-Providence Journal.
We are asked to believe that a ST.
Paul highwayman held up a young
lady in that city the other night and
took her purse out Of her pocket, but
the latter part OF the story is too inn
probable for Minneapolis
Tribune.