Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1898-03-24

/
!, DID ba7 rlsra 1arabIgaoday ,-Not
mitch. =Baxdf. "a
Woman Lawyer-How old are you?
Woman Witness-I think / must be
about your age.
She-Tve seen twenty-five summers.
He the brute)-Since when?-San
Francisco Examiner. 80
He-My friend is opposed to every
thing English. She--Yes, / noticed that
In his Observation-Disclosures States
man. 70
| No Deception. young lady
doesn't look like singer. She-Doesn't
sing like one, either.-Detroit Free
| Press.
| II suspect there has been some crook
ed work going on here" he said. And
he was right. His wife had been driv-
ing nails.-Puck.
Parker-How do you like your rooms
in your new fat. Fleshleigh-Oh,
they're good fit. A little tight across
the shoulders, perhaps.--Life.
And your wife aimed at and struck
your head with cup? ''Yes, sir"
''Well, then, all 1 have to say is that
you should be very proud of her."
II daresay some of the comforts of
civilization are already appearing In
the KlondikeY' Yes; they were just
getting nugget-in-the-slot machines as
l came away."-Puck.
Neighbor-Does your father rent that
house you live in? Boy-No, indeed.
It's his own house. every bit Of it, It's
been bought and paid for and insured
and mortgaged and everything.
Henry Yellowby-Aftah we's mar
ried, well hab chicken for dinnah eb-
cry day, honey. Melinda Johnson
Oh, yo' deary! But wouldn't ask yo'
ut is true" she said, that our club
has disbanded." what was the trou-
ble?" he asked. "Why. the president
tried to enforce a rule to the effect that
only one member could talk at a time"
Chicago Post.
Good Friend-I have reason to sus.
pect that your husband is flirting with
other women. You ought TO follow
him wherever he goes. Great heav-
ems! My husband is a postman."-
Fhegende Batter.
He-The sight of an old schoolmate
meat and drink. She--Yes, that's what
you men usually do under the circum-
stances. He-Eh? She-Meet and
drink.-Indianapoli Journal.
want situation as errand boy, do
you? Well, can you tell me how far
the moon Is from the earth, eh?' Boy
well, guv'nor, 1 don't know, but l
reckon 1t amt near enough to interfere
with me running errands." He got the
job.
II often wonder just what she thinks
Of me-" said the young married man.
1T is easy to find out" said the elderly
married man. "Just sit down on her
hat, and she will tell you what she
thinks Of you in less than a minute
Tit-Bits.
Mamma-Has Mr.. Dorrance given
you reason to believe that he means
business? Clara-Business! l should
think he did mean business! I'm sick
Of the word business. All he has talk
ed about the last three times he has
been here was papa's business.-Cleve-
land Leader.
She-'I don't see what reason you
have for expecting anything but re-
fusal. never gave you any encourage
ment." He Gust rejected)-"Oh, Miss
Coyne-Maude. You did-yOu most
certainly did encourage me! You told
me you had ten thousand year In your
own right."-Tit-Bits
Parson Johnson jes' stopped In
moment ago to see de wilder Jackson.
found her quite unconsolable. told
her dat weeping would not bring her
husband back, and Mrs. Persim-
mons-Humph! Eff yo' wanted her to
stop cryin' .yo orter told her dat 1t
would.-Judge.
"Sadeye is a man / admire. He and
Butts had been bad friends for year;
but when he heard that Butts wife
was dangerously i'll, he went up to him
and offered his sympathy" "Um! You
are probably not aware that Sadeye
has gone into the undertaking bust
ss."-Philadelphia North American.
Edith-She lost Freddy through her
own stupidity. A girl should never
permit herself to appear more intelil-
gent than the man who is talking TO
her. That Is the rule l always follow.
Bertha-But then 1t Is so easy for you,
YOU know. You ought not to be too
harsh upon poor Hettie.-Boston Tran
script.
"Ahr' said the clustering lawyer
whose client had just been acquitted.
"Now that it's all over, would you
mind telling me how you reached your
verdictg Certainly" replied the jury
man. 1--WE felt sure that IL he had
been guilty he wouldn't have hired you
to defend him."-Philadelphi North
American.
A certain Benedict was In the habit
OF troubling his father-in-law with
complaints about his wife's behavior.
Really, this is too bad" cried the
irascible old gentleman one day, on
hearing of some Of his daugter's delin-
quencies. III l hear any more COM
plants / will disinherit her." There
were no more complaints.-Househ