The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1898-09-18
BIG JOKE ON Mr.. TEETERS.
a LANDSCAPE GARDEN PARLoR AND
A BURGLAR HUNT.

Mr.. Teeters he amt reel artistic. 1 guess.
I ain't myself. either. for that matter. but Mr..
Teeters he don't seem to care. Whenever l
say l wish l could fix up our parlor prittier.
like some women d make IL look. Mr.. Teeters
he asks me II I want to try landscape Rar-
denim like Mis- Ruddick. 'Twa'n't REILLY
landscape Rardenln', you know. OF course
Mis- Ruddick couldn have that In her parlor
but that's what Mr.. Teeters he always calls It,
We'll, / s'pose II does look kind o. queer to
folks that hain't artistic. 1 know IL was quite
n spell before got used to It, an Mis- Tandy
abe says that to this day she amt got over
bein' fraid o. fnllin' into the lake. Yes. You
see It's awful hard to git used to a lake in q
parlor. At least want the custom to have
'em up to the Corners an l hain't never
found 1t so here In Harlem. Fact is. 1 hain't
never seen one any where's exceptin' to Mis-
Ruddick's.
Mis- Ruddick she's one o. your artistic
women. She's got ideas bout things. you
know. Law, I thought she was goin' to faint
when wore a hat up there two years ago with
blue an green flowers an ribbon on 1t. She
kind O. rolled her eyes like a sick calf an put
up her hand as II 1 was goin' TO throw some
thing at her.
Emmy says she. where did you get that
hat?'
In Harlem says I. An IL was a bargain,
too. 'Twould ha' cost me Just twice as much
or SiNt' avenue
But why did you get them colors?' says
she. Emmy. don't you know that you mustn't
never put blue an green together2 It's
against the rules OF art
'Mebbe that's So says I. but they're put
tin blue an green together on hats, art or no
art
But. you see. that was the difference be-
tNunnn Mfaf D,,IIfnIr n~s r~z Oh - -
an l don't. At least she gives out that she
knows art an she certainly does fix things
up different from. what anybody else does. 1
kind O. wish you could see her parlor. 'Tain't
easy to give you any reel idea of how it looks.
You ought to get Mr.. Teeters to tell you bout
1t. He says 1t lays before his minds eye like
a dream o. beauty in which art an nature
mingle. If twas anybody but Mr.. Teeters you
wouldn't hear about no dream O. beauty. But
he's so ALFRED fond Of Jokes he thinks they're
funny even when they're on him.
"'Twis awful funny. too. You see. Mis-
Ruddick she fixed up her parlor to represent
what she called a woodland scene. In the
middle Of the floor she put a good big piece OF
lookin' glass; oh. n piece about five foot long
an three foot acrost. Then she made n border
for the hull thing out O. moss mats. Didn't you
never make moss mats, out o. crinkly
worsted? They're reel pritty an these O.
Mis- Ruddick's were shaded green so as to
initiate grass. On the lookin' glass she put
pond lilies made OF white an green flannel.
with big green flannel leaves. She made
paper violets an wild roses, an put 'em
amongst the grass OF the bank. an in autumn
she took away the flowers an scattered au-
tumn leaves.round the border Of the lake.
NJ Teeters he's SO full OF his Joke. he
asked Mis- Ruddick IL the lake froze over in
u-tntar nnI 20 fhn nhilIrnN elyotnI -, a.
guess Mis- Ruddick didn't like it very we'll,
neither. She laughed. but twas one o. them
laughs that's lost their voices an upon my soul
l wished Mr.. Teeters'd lost his'n. But he got
his come-uppance all right. My. yesl 1
should say he did.
You see. We went down there to call one
night last summer when we was up 70 the Cor
ne neT = b1 MIR; Testers sn t he wont neitb forget tt that ms might ht
to the Corners. though they hain't got so much
cause a e keep e it in mind aa% MT Twas Bna kkiad Of a cool
the barn barn to call + Nj. Kuddiek; i. it. w fHn Tu reel e
o ,glimmerin' spot in the, middle o. the floor.
an, we knowed that was the lake,
nort fEon,d better r. bear Tarts of a a. l sems no by
sense as that. or you'll fall into the lily pond
wei. 1 told him to keep still or Mis- Rud-
mo n.she s wont NJ be here for iye ami MINUTES Resd an
more, says BIZ. leeIBTS. L seen huuulCk
chasin' a COW down the road when we come in.
an aido l pIudGe, he's si,S st II acEoin H. Want Mt "a q BOAT DG
grass an leave the flowers alone. do you?
Have a sweet v%iolet?. They're out O. season
Mr.. Teeters. he KEEP on with all that sort o.
nonsense. all the time kind o walkin' around
to the corner furthest from the door. what
should he find standn' against the wall but Mr..
Ruddick's shotgun! Well. that was enough
Well. 'isaid;he, Just as serious as could be,
III be switched II Rpddick hain,t been shootin'
marshy spots, an / expect he just comes in
he hsre taf fe s a year ahfk fo an W SRsRe 1 8a saw Sh E@my.
III lust fetch down q bird or two for dinner to-
morrow PRO r While tsI Ru6 id cioS ehases that cow
all ! could say, an down he drops on one knee
in the edge Of Mis- Ruddiek's moss mats;
where. I've done consid'abIe ihuntin' in my
me put eyes In them paper birds at the shoot
In N l., galleries. Y ri sioh have Mou1 you b1 ob Emmy th We'll; IN
N aa III he i at bi F'fht th nGT ny % ov saG tRis h eas SSssd out
We'll. he did look SO awful funny down in
a aerost % MisS k mStfl F!m Flas th iakt th f6st pig + E6 Sq IN
a9d Of course be didn't neither, $o:, when ali
come in with q lamp in her hand we was both
Of Us so took by surprise that we didn't move,
poppin' out Of our heads.
What in the liyin, worldI~m Mis- Rud-
his knees with the shotgun.
We'll; | dnnno,s ever seen Mr. Testers
Just swallowed an didn't say a word. |
knowed somebody'd &c. to say somethin'. an
1t want no time for the truth. neither. I'm
Just as set against lynn as the next one. but
they, certainly Is times when a r~avenin' lion
wouldn't be worse than the truth. l didn't
have time to think what to say. neither. 80 1
Just kind O. Gasped an blurted out:
"A burggulurl' .squealed Mis- Ruddick. al |
most dreoeppin' the lamp onto the messy bank.
'snoopin' round them front Windows says
Mr.. Teeters. THROWN me q look which was
kind o. relieved an kind o mad, But he want
long In thinkin' that he'd Got a0holt Of another
he'll find set, down against him in the
recordin' angels book at the day Of judgment
won't, believe it. but he set to an described
burggulur-which, they, want any any
way-an' Just how he looked an acted till I
was that scairt myself l couldn't keep the cold