The record-union., 1898-04-27
a Society to Discourage the Keep
ing of Dogs.
SacTamentO. ApI

Eds. Record Union: l observed in
your columns OF recent date that a
scheme is being worked up, no doubt
by some ardent reformer, who is start
ing society inimical to the dog, with a
total abstinence annex. Such a scheme
would be a bad thing just at this time.
In the first place you can't organ
ize any kind of a society without offices
to be filed by DISTINGUISHED philanthropy
lists What would our national, State,
county or city government be without
offices for our patriotic citizens to hold ?
What would become of the lively cam
paign every two years, with all the
fretting of the ambient air by the can
didates? And who would pay for all
the torches and fambeauant display;
and the blast of trumpet, clang of
drum, that makes the voters valor
come" if there were no offices to fill?
To construct a society without offices
would be as uphill work as to sail off
to the north pole in hand basket;
which, as a success, seems now likely
to be a failure.
But why should we suppress the dog?
Here in Sacramento we have not more
than two dogs to every individual of
the population. How could we spare
any of them? A few months ago I
was driving about showing a man from
Boston our beautiful city. On three
occasions during a three hours drive
We were set upon by gangs of bowling,
growing, snarling ours - Tray,
Blanche and Sweetheart, little dogs and
all" My guest became annoyed and
swore he'd be dogon'd if he'd live in
such a town" He said that, accord
ing to Josh Billings philosophy, Some
families is poor 'nough to have two
dogs, and some families is poor 'nOugh
to have three"-this must be a mighty
poor town. 1 could see by his remarks
that he was a cold blooded money
changer and a bloated bondholder,
with no sympathy for even a dog.
1t is true dog may go mad, or get
mad and destroy the contour of a
child's face. or MAIN the little hands or
give it hydrophobia, which will shuttle
the little one off; but, then, the dog
is so faithful and affectionate. But
some may ask what is a dogs faithful
ness and affection good for? Why
don't the old adage say The good will
Of a dog is better than his i'll Will?"
1t is common report that the Mephitis
Americana, the common skunk, is as
faithful and affectiOnate as a dog when
we'll domesticated and is even more
liable to hydrophobia than the dog.
But this beautifully variegated little
creature is not likely to supersede the
pug as a lap dog on account Of the
pungency of his breath, which is not
redolent to any extent. The befume of
the pug is not always that of 'Araby
the blest," but then he is a little less
offensive than a skunk.
l suppose our dogs carry around on
their persons about all the t1eas there
are in town. so that people who own
dogs have a monopoly on f1eas To
sensitive person the flea is a mighty
spur to physical activity at times. /
think there is nobody that can tell how
many fleas a good, lively, enterprising
dog can pick UP and distribute during
the turn of day. The ill-shaped, ugly,
old cow should be kept off the street
by all means She is a hideous old
brute and is only good to give milk for
sick children and little crying infants.
Keep her off the street, by all means,
but give the cur a show he is so faith
full and affectionate.
The second degree, or total abstinence
department of this new society, starts
out in a bad time. Here we are in the
midst of grim visaged war" the Gov
eminent must have revenue, so Con-
gress claps on an other dollar on beer.
making the revenue 50 on every bar
rel of beer made throughout the
country Sixty to sixty-five million
dollars a year revenue from beer. We
are dependent on beer. If we fight
Spain we must have revenue from beer.
If We pay old soldiers pensions, beer
must do it. If we would be patriotic
We must take our beering and assist to
liquidate the national debt
Now Just suppose that this anti-dog
society, with its anti-drink annex,
should be popular and everybody join
it and quit beer. Our Government
would soon be bankrupt. Spain would
conquer the country in no time and
be holding bull fights on Boston Com
mon every Sunday. SO much revenue
is being piled up on beer that l am
little afraid that the ordinary five-cent
beer viii be nothing but froth and the
hve-cent schooner a thing of the past.
I got a large chunk of consolation
from a beer man to-day. He said the
brewers would even the thing up by
using more distilled water and no more
hops or malt. He said we could get the
same quantity of beer for nickel as
ever. He declared that the beer might
be a little thin, but distilled water
would not hurt anybody. I said, mo,
by no means; the more distilled water
the better!"
Yours for the kanine and our national