Mesa free press., 1898-06-03

New York Journal
SIS your wife literaryT Eyes; every
time step out Of the house at night,
she says, Quo VadisY Chicago
Record.
A Change Of Mind.-"Well, I am re-
lieved that he proposed to you" Ere
lievedY' "He told me he was going to
kill himself. Life.
81 am very much surprised to hear
that they are married; 1 thought he
was merely flirting with her." "IIe
thought so, too."-Collier's Weekly.
Mrs. Hunter-I've been downtown all
the afternoon and feel awfully tired.
Mr.. Hunter-Undoubtedly, my dear;
you do look rather shop-worn.-Chica-
go News.
A Musical Lady.-"Do they play the
piano much at your house?' mo, but
l have 1t tuned several times year
my wife likes to hear it so much.-Flie-
gende Batter.
Hewitt--So you are back from En-
rope. Do you enjoy these trips across
the ocean? Jewett-No; something al
ways comes up to mar my pleasure
New York Journal.
"False-hearted beauty" he sobbingly
shrieked. 81 shall never love AGAIN.
mo" asked the heartless one. mo, l
shall start in now and try to save mon
ey."-Cncinnati Enquirer.
His Weakness.-She-He does not
seem to be brilliant conversational
list. He-No; unfortunately he can't
talk on any subject unless he knows
something about it.-Puck.
Jack Potts-What will you charge to
make good stout poker trunk Trunk
maker-What do you mean by "poker"
trunk? Jack Potts-One that holds
four trays Chicago News.
Miss Autumn-There seem to be
more chaperons than young ladies' here
tonight. Miss Barry-It does,seem so,
indeed. BY the way, whoma are you
chaperoning Harlem Life.
Mistress -Why were you dismissed
from your last place? Up-to-date Ser
want Girl-Well, 1 like your inquisitive-
ness! Did I ask you why your last
girl left youeFliegende Batter.
Those Girls.-"Young Mr.. Tizzens
called OH me last week." said Maud.
did hep replied Mamie. "He told me
he was going to reserve all disagrnAa-
bic duties for Lent" Star.
Mrs. Al think your husband Is q
very quiet dresser. Mrs. B.-H'm! You
might change your opinion If you heard
him looking for his clothes some morn
ings.-Browning King & Co.'s Month.
~.
Mrs. Hoon-It seems to me that Mrs.
Swellington's new sealskin has q
brighter look than such garments us.
ually do. Hoon-Probably it was made
from an educated seal.-New York
Journal.
Tommy's Observation-Disclosures
do we learn from the story of Sam
son? Tommy with unpleasant results
still manifest)- That 1t doesn't pay ter
have women folks cut fellers hair
Brooklyn Life.
His Wife Clearing him indistinctly)-
Henry, please hold your mouth little
further away from the phone. He
with considerable indignation)-D
you think I've been drinking, Amelial
Chicago Tribune.
He-Surely You must know that
love you. I cannot live without you.
She-Sh-h! Papa might hear you say
that. If he did he would be sure to
object without giving you chance to
explain.-Chicago Daily News.
Hell love you, Miss Peach, ardently,
passionately, madly. She-Nonsense,
Mr.. De Sever; you are hardly acquaint-
ed with me. Hell know, but then
why, perhaps that's the reason, don't
you know.-Boston Transcript.
He knew what they always say, so
he thought he would forestall her. II
suppose you've never been kissed by
man before" he said. do look as
homely as all that?" she demanded,
haughtily.-Chicag Evening Post.
Mrs. Greymair-When I die 1 want
you to engrave on my tomb "There is
Quiet in Heaven" Mr.. Greymalr--I
think, my dear, it would be more to
the point to make it 'There Was Quiet
In Heaven. Enquirer.
"Td be better off If were Dead"
complained Cynicus; 'but, then, sup
pose, nobody would take the trouble to
bury me decently." "Oh, Mr.. GYM
GUS" said Miss Daisy Candor, with the
ready sympathy of sweet 16, why, I'm
sure all your friends would bury you
gladly."-Vogue.
Hostess lat party)-And does your
mother allow you to have two pieces OF
pie when you are at home, Williei
Willie (who has asked for second
piece)-No, ma'am. Hostess-Well, do
you think she would like you to have
two pieces here? Willie Confidently
Oh, she wouldn't care. This isn't her
pie.-Tid- Bits,