The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1898-10-22
TIE FESTIVE ARMY MULE.
some Tales That Arc Told OF Him BY
Soldiers True.
From the Detroit Free Press. }

On the overshadowing topic of tie
day the old soldier is an oracle, and
anything that he may advance by way
of Renaissance or opinion is fully
received by those who are without his
resources of experience to draw upon.
What follows ls a composite furnished
by this peculiar element in our citizen
ship.
No writer has ever done Justice to the
army mule. He has been prev to the
humorlst and the writer Of doggerel
verse. but it has never been gwen to
him to enjoy his true place in history.
lie has been sworn at more than any
other one creation in the heavens
above, the earth beneath or the waters
under the earth, yet be is a good second
in Importance to the men who have
fought battles opening the way for hui
man advancement along the most ap-
proved lines. One Of the first calls
made by the governmental the present
struggle was for mules, and so it will be
as long as men defer to the arbitrament
of war.
Tie distinguishing marks of the army
mule are his ears. They are long, cor
responihg to his countenance of infin-
lite solemnity and the length of time he
requires for meditation before doing
anything unpleasant Sentiment he
expresses by the speaking motion of
those same ears. Good feeling and
temper are manifest through his heels,
among the best known exemplitications
of force ard rapiditv in conjunction.
The army mule also possesses voice,
which some expert authority describes
as having in it the rush of waters. the
siphing Of wind, the filing of saws and
the music of crows, the unified effect re-
sembllng clap of thunder PLAYING
through coarse sieve. II is well I'M
derstood by those possessed Of a mill
tarv education that the mule cannot do
his voice anything like justice unless he
at the same time flirts his tail into the
air, and colored drivers. early IN the
war, sought to suppress his teIl-tale
bray by weighting his tail, but the re-
suit entailed such burden upon the
hospitals that the remedy was aband-
oned.
Every old soldier will tel, YOU that
the army mule has mind Of his own.
II is marked by an incompatible blend
ing of patience and decision that ap-
pear In their strongest light when he
comes to dead halt and decides not to
move till it will add to his pleasure to
do SO. His GOODNESS under fire is the
envy of the bravest warriors. He never
makes the slightest sign unless his com
fort Is actively distributed, when his
tones OF dlsapnrobation resemble Il
steam whistle with the hccoughs. An
otUer advantage of the mule as cam
palgner is his hardness. He seems i'm
peryious to disease and for an army
mule to meet any other than a violent
death is a memorable exception to the
rule. The digestion of the goat
or the alligator is delicate and ex-
acting compared with that of the army
i'uiS. ii7li'N tlC ii IuAuIN ttiuJ ne
would stray far and incur the greatest
danger to enjoy. But he never com
plains Of the substance provided Aft
dayits innumerable can be had from old
soldiers that he ate and thrived on
blankets. uniforms, rail fences, pom
toons, tents, rubber boots and emptv
cartridges. A knapsack for dessert filled
bis whole being with contentment. He
would fatten and take on friskiness
when the horse would starve
In the entire scope Of military wis
dom there is nothing more absolutely
certain than that an army mule cannot
be driven without swearing at him. Or
binary or scattering profanity will not
do. 1t must be poured forth nuentlv,
persistenty and with fervid junction..
Army transfers firmly believe that
Providence has made a special dispen-
satiOn in their behalf, and that the
oaths they employ in the line of dutv
are never recorded But an ability to
swear is not the only requisite of sue
cessful driver of mules. He must know
them and they must know him. Dur
ing the Penlnsu!ar campaign, on one Of
those Virginia roads that are the muIdl-
est in the world, a big black mule, re-
markable for his strength and endur-
ance, blocked the whole wagon train
by refusing to pull. lie was whipped,
coaXed and literally bomDardei with
oaths, but he hung back flom his collar
as though the padding was full of sharp
spikes. The officer IN charge was at his
wits end and mad enough to explode a
mine under the animal whose whole
outward appearance indicated nothing
but patient and iong-suifering obstin-
acy.
"Cunnel," said an old plantation
darkey after respectfully saIutinu,
when dat dar deblsh mule gifts one
dem tantrums, he jest won't pull
poun' 70 melody but Jim
" Where the IS Jim ~
The information asgiven, an orderly
dashed away and in ten minutes the
grinning Jim put in an appearance. His
mnleship Immediately began to mani
fest an interest in the campaign. rubbed
his nose fondly in Jim's WOO and then
huckted down 10 his work with the
power of an engine and soon had the
long train on the move
a certain driver who went through
the war declared that one Of the mules
would not 20 unless he used the whip.
another stopped dead still when struck.
and another wouldn't draw an ounce
unless yelled at in a particular manner.
Ills exploration of this was: It's de
way dey's been druv sab"
OF this animal, which some statesman
characterised as without pride of an
cestry or hope of posterity, a historian
~ no - l. -