The times., 1898-09-05
4 Fable for Critics,

There was once a Person who was brought IN
to Disapprove of anything Sensational When
he was Small Infant his Mother kept him
wrapped in Cottonwood and Never took him
out of doors One day somebody left the Door
Open and the Infant got breath Of Fresh Air
which gave him bad attack of Group. and he
nearly died
When he grew to be a Lad he never went 70
school for fear he would get into Fights with
other Boys. He was Dressed in a Velvet Sui,
and wore his hair in Curls. One day some OK
the other BOYS him out by himself aud they
took him and Rolled him in the Mud. and he was
a Sight to Behold.
When he went to College they furnished his
room in Pink and Blue Satin and white Lace
Curtains, and charged him never to let any
other boy come in without Wiping his Feet,
which injunction he strictly obeyed. till one
Night some Bad, Wicked Sophomorcs came in
by the Window, and when they got through vita
that the pretty Furniture was Carpet Rags
and KindGng- Wood.
When he became Man he had Trouble in de-
Gliding what Profession to follow. All the Profes-
sions seemed to be 50 Sensational Finally he
Took his Inheritance and went out West and took
up a Claim, where he had nothing to do but
Settle Down ard live by Himself and there were
no Neighbors.
They warned him that there were Cyclones in
that part Of the Country that would pick his
Claim up and turn it inside out, but he said that
such things were Sensational. They told him
that Indians were prevalent at certains Seasons
of the Year, but he said he did not believe
the Sensational Stories about Indians, and II
they came he would give them Picture-Books and
Pain-Killer. They told him that he would better
learn to Fire Gun and dig a Cyclone Cellar,
but he said that Cellars were Damp and Un-
healthy and Guns were Murderous. They told
him that there were Rattlesnakes and Tarantulas
about the Place, but he said that he was not
afraid of Garter-Snakes and Spiders, and they
could not Scare him with their Sensational
Stories So he Settled Down.
The First Night he found Tarantua on his
Pillow and Rattlesnake under the Bed. He
remained up all Night with the Candle Lighted.
and an Indian Saw the Candle and Went and
Told his Brethren. The next Morning the In
dams came to that Dweller in the Wilderness
and Ate up whatever Foed he had Cooked and
carried off the Rest-all but the Pain Killer and
the Picture-Books-
s.Dear Me!'' said the Man. ''This is all the
fault of those People who Love Sensation. They
have told the Tarantulas. and Snakes. and Indians
that | am Here, and they are Enjoying the Ex-
citement while have to Pay the Bills. l will
net Endure this Treatment. j will Write to the
Papsrs about it. | Must have some Sleep"
And he wrote to the Papers. And he ex.
plained to the Editors how he Hated things
that were Sensational
Said the Editor: "It Strikes Ne, Ny Friend,
that YOU are yourself the most sensational OBJ
ject in these Diggings We are Used to the
Tarantulas, and Snakes, and Indians. but you are
a Curiosity
'I wcnder if l amr' thought the man.
Just then a Cyclone Struck the Town and
moved it over into the Next County and Planted
it Roots Up. When, they Sorted out the Ruins
they Found some Pieces OF the Man who Hated
Sensations.