The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1898-08-20
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Inc hlnuly MhIl- my Stahu !e iutc
hereY' The Other Man--"De benches
in de parks bein' painted. Detroit
Journal.
by Joye. old chap, how wish there
was no such thing as money! We'll.
we have no positive proof TINT there
is."-LIfe.
Snodgrass-"TIe world has a place
for everybody" Micawber-"Yes; the
only trouble is there's generally some
body else In 1t"
Yes" said Quggles. Il have good
deal ON my hands just now so
perceive" replied Fogg; why don't
you try a little soap and watef|
DO you think n man has a right to
open his wlfes lettersT We'll, he
may have the right; but I don't see
how he could have the courage
Yesterday was my birthday.
and Charlie gave me a rose for each
year" Sallie-"What a perfectly Inn
mense bouquet they must have made"
Godfrey-"Doesn't Winchester ever
get tired of his wife's continued sulki-
ness and Ill temperY" Scorjel-"I think
not When she is good-natured she
sings"
Mrs. Sweet-"Do you find 1t econom-
ical to do your own eookingT Mrs.
Burnem-"Oh, yes: my husband does
MT eat half as much ms when we have
a cook"
Uncle, which breed OF chickens Is
the bestT "Well. sab, de white one is
de easiest found, an de dahk ones is dc
easiest hid after yo' gifts 'em.'-lndla-
napolis Journal.
II have splendid night lock here
that locks ITSELF" announced the can
vasser. THAT won't do me-" answered
Roundley. "What l want is one that
will unlock ITSELF"
Il asked the young woman in front
OF me to remove her big hat so | could
see the stage" Did she do it?" NO:
she said If she held her hat in her lap
she couldn't see the stage herself
Promoter-"You needn't be a bit
afraid; the company Is perfectly safe"
The Lamb-"Oh, I've no doubt about
the company being safe enough. was
thinking about the safety OF my
money"
"Oratory is gift" remarked the adj
miring constituent. WELL replied
Farmer Corntassel. mostly it is. But
now and then u man gets good enough
Mt 1t TO charge you fur llstenin'.'-
Washinton Star.
II see." said the shoe clerk bosrdcr,
that there is king of Africa who has
been drunk for fifteen years. That"
said the Cheerful Idiot, as what might
be called soaking relgn."-Indlanap
oils Journal.
"I'll take my chances with postcrlty,"
said the poet whose illusions had been
refused. "0f course you WILL sneered
the editor. you know mighty well
that posterity can't get at you."-De-
trolt Free Press.
THAT man Crumlet has more nvi-
tations to dinner than any other man in
town." How does he work III" lie
tells every hostess with grown-up
daughter that she must have married
much below the legal age"
First Daughter of the Revolution
"She says she'd like to know. for her
part, what practical good our society
does" Second Dltto-"Why. the mean
thing. Just as if we hadn't made 1t
almost fashionable to be PATRIOTIC
Judge.
Traveler--Do the trains for Waxton-
bury leave this station? Railroad At
tache-They always have up to date;
but the thing is getting pretty shaky,
and 1t wouldn't be strange some day
TO see one of the trains carrying 1t off
Boston Transcript.
An old Yorkshire woman being much |
distressed at the sudden loss of her |
only son, the dissenting minister as
sured her, consollngly: "He Is now
with Abraham, Isaac and jacob"
THAT s. the worst on It," she sobbed,
''and he was always SO shy among |
strangers. ''-Moonshine.
II had almighty queer surprise to-
day." remarked local broker. II put /
on winter suit on account of the cold /
snap-one of my suits of last year
and in one of my vest pockets found
a big roll of bills, which | must have
forgotten, you know" 'Were any Of 1
them receiptedT' asked sad-eyed by
stander And the look he received sent
the mercury down about ten degrees
further.
Gentleman (who has engaged an
aged colored hackman to drive him
from the station to the hoteD-"Say,
uncle, what's your name:" Driver
MY name, sab, is George Washing
tom Gentleman-"George Washing.
ton! Why that names seems familiar"
DrIver-"Well, should ,t'ink IL ought
to. Here l been driyin, to this station
To- bout twenty years. sah.'
~ Hiram, Wien be YOU
goin to pay me them eight dollars fer
pasturin' your helferi I've bad ner
now fer about ten weeks" Hiram:
Agln--"Why, 81 iher criiier amt
with moren ten dollars 81 PUNK.
ard-"Well, s'posin' | keep her fer
what you owe me- Hiram Agin-
by jugfull. Tell you what I'll do;
Keep her two weeks more an you can
have her."-Tp-to-Date
Little Tommy and his younger sister
were going TO bed without light. |
They had just reached tho bottom of /
the stairs, when Tommy, after ndeav-
oring TO pierce the darkness, turned I
- - ,sl,aI. sfrfos hnr IL ~ ,,oltto