The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1898-09-18
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

I'VE are glad" says, Ell Tempo. Of the
Yankee is at last about to receive a les
son he so richly deserves. The heredit-
chastised. and the "Gringo" will once
more be taught his proper place. Mexico
viii be avenged for the humiliations
Y 5GrSse upon rem9o must Se comic
paper.
jewelers. Weekly: Accounting for a
| Condition.-Mrs. Hiliver-Husband dear.
what makes you so pensive?
Mr.. Hiliver-Possibly love it's because
| you are so expensive
! Captain 1. Elsiar Bernier of Quebec pro-
poses a new north pole expedition. which
is Endorsed by the Royal Science society
I of Canada 1t will cost $4,000. of which
] the government is expected TO provide the
larger part, and the captains friends and
admirers are confidently looked to for the
remainder. When he gets back it is ex-
pected that he will be able to report that
in all probability the pole still maintains
its customary geographical situation.
Boston Transcript: Grier-By the way.
did l ever tell you that story about the
end man and the small boy?
Frier-NO. but several hundred other
people have told it to me.
Grier-Nonsense! Nobody ever heard it
before yesterday.
Frier-Then it isn't worth hearing.
A Gustavus Adolphus memorial church
Is to be erected in Philadelphia and the
Lutheran congregations of New York are
requested to assist III the work BeSldeSs~
the church there will be a statue historic
tablets and a window contributed by
Sweden. What is known as the Old
Swede's Church. on the banks of the
Delaware was founded by GustayUS
Adolphus, and its maintenance was long
assisted by Sweden Its congregation Is
now affiliated with the Protestant Epis-
copal diocese of Pennsylvania. The new
church will be American Lutheran.
Chicago Record: Tell me about your
We'll all those homely girls standing
up at the back are the smart ones; all
those pretty girls sitting down IN front
are the silly ones.
A correspondent of the Washington Star
tellI this story: My daughter, who
teaches in a mission Sunday school, tells
me of a Dewey experience she had with
a youngster making his first appearances.
She put him through a half an hour or
more of instruction in the rudimentary
principles. for he was entirely lacking in
him was reviewing her work with him.
Now, she said. tell me again who made
the world and all that is in it?' God did,
promptitude. God can do everything.
can't hep she asked again. The boy hes
itated moment / don't believe he could
teacher sat silent between her religion
and her patriotism 1t wasn't her time
to say anything. if she didn't want to lose
that boy for ever. and she had wit enough
to let it go at that
Between Two Impulses dunno"
said Mr.. Haicede,, 4 dunno. mother,
them chickens to the soldiers or be greet
full an send EN- to pore Mr.. Letter. now
he's lost all his money."-Indianapoli
Journal.
The Grand Rapids Press relates this
incident about a man and a woman who
are employed in different offices in one of
the large buildings of that city Each >,
office has a telephone, but as IL happens,
one is an instrument belonging to the Cit
liens company, the other Bell instru-
ment. One day the man had occasion to
the hall to the lady's office. Have you
a Citizens phone he asked, and she re-
piled in the affirmative. Well he ven
tured. I'm a citizen. may use it?'
WIZ, of course. he might use 1t. An
hour later she balanced the accounts with
him. Have yau a Bell telephOne?" she
asked, on stepping INTO ms once he did
not try to deny 1t. well. I'm belle.
May / use it,?
a Freak-"We desire" SAYS the editor
of THE Jazeville Gazette" ITO call atten-
ton to the fact that we, our wife and
eldest boy, have edited, headlined and got
out this paper all through these stirring
times without once calling the Spaniards
Dons; We think our record is unDaral-
leled. Enquirer.
This is how Captain Philip Trevor be-
gins a paper in The Nineteenth Century
on The Catholicism of the British
Army: Whats yer religious persua-
My what?" Yer what?' Why, what
said. What's yer after o Sundays"
Rabbits mostly" Ere. stow that lip.
Come. now, Chu'ch. Chapel. or oily Ro-
man?' And after explanation from his
cuestioner. the recruit replied: Il amt
nowise pertickler. Put me down Chu'ch
of England, sergeant. III go with the
band"
a Ruse That Failed.-Mr. Closefst-Yes.
chil1, | saw a brooch that was pretty.
but it contained an opal, and opals, you
know
Ills daughter-But. papa. it isn't as
to have an opal as to have moth
ing.-Jewelers' Weekly.
A correspondent of the London Specta-
tor calls attention to the fact that out OF
a random list of 81 officers in the Amer
lean army and navy there are three Ger
man names, one Italian. one French and
one Dutch. All the rest are unG1eStion-
ably British.
Mr. Addemup.' said Mr.. Spotcash, Sc
vereIy to the bookkeeper, Il have spoken
TO you before of your careless manner of
smoking in the Office. You threw light
ed match in the waste basket a little
while ago. and 1t set lot of papers on
fire Such work as that might start a
blaze some day
Il was Needless replied the book
keeper II viii see that the Office boy
keeps the waste basket emDtied hereaf-
Tribune.
Smoke Silver Moon, the leading Sc