The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1898-07-14
HITS AND STRIKES.
The throne of Spain
Has got a sprain
And two of its legs are weak.
The chamberlain
He did ordain
That they put in a fireproof sea

He did ordain
That they put in fireproof seat.
Xxx
Some years ago the county assessor
of Ramsey county was arrested on a
criminal charge and about half dozen
indictments found against him. When
confined in the county Jail he wrote
letters to a number of St. Paul jobbing
houses and wealthy men, saying that
he was writing book, which no doubt
would prove interesting reading to the.
taxpayers of Ramsey county. He was
Immediately released on bail, and after
the cases had stood on the calendar for
four years, they were dropped. This
shows the advantage of literary ability
to criminal.
We are solemnly Informed by an ex.
change that Effie Shannon's grand
motherI was a clergyman. Well, it
may be that such things happen oc-
casionally. We know a gentleman in
st. Paul Of whom it is said that his
grandfather was lady, and he certain
ly is very ladylike, if that proves any,
thing.
*
The following orders were received
by New York druggist: Dire Serr-
I hat hot time in my inside. Incloased
pls find 25 cents for extinguisher.
Here is another: Surr-The baby has
eat his pas parrish plaster. Send anec-
dote at one by enclosed girl
*
Lillian Russell says she will never
marry any more. No, Lillian, it is
merely useless formality with some
people.
~
"Cervera is captured. but the rum
devil is still loose" says the New York
Voice. But there are plenty of volun-
teers who put themselves right in front
OF the place where he is "bottled up"
and if they can't sink collier, they
sink schooner or two.
~
The statement by Lawyer Abe Hum
NELL of New York that a number of
operate stars employ his firm by the
year to look after their matrimonial
affairs shows that the ladies know how
to drive hard bargain.
~
Walter Hurt says he always uses his
feet in writing verse. There is lot of
people here who do the same, but judg-~
ing by the effects they are either one.
legged or else zone of their legs is .
longer than it really ought to be-
*
There is an undertone of "ghoulish
glee" in the comments of H. z. Hall on
the defeat of the Chicago stereotypers.
1t brings back old times when H. P.
and the typographical union took a
fall out of each other just out of pure
cussedness.
~
A young man with an eye to the adj
vantage of No. recently wrote to one
of the agencies in the East who buy
addresses offering to sell list of "the
names of twenty thousand persons in
this county whose names are not in the
directory" His proposition was &C.
cepted, upon which he forwarded the
names of twenty thousand of the in
habitants of the general cemetery in
his native city.
*
There is town here in Minnesota by
the name of Mananah. That's good
deal like Spanish for tomorrow. That's
poor name for a hustling town in
this state.
~
This is what is said to have happened
to the editor of one of our Denver ex-
changes during the recent invasion of
that city:
Lady-Sir, are you the editor?
Editor-Yes, madam.
Lady-From this article in your pa
per, 1 infer that you are a single man.
EditOr-Yes, madam.
Lady-It is seldom that so much
sense is shown by one of your bigotted
sex. That article meets with my entire
approval, and have decided to make
you an offer of marriage, on trial. To,
be dissolved in case you should not
come up to the standard indicated by
that article.
Editor-(blushing) This is so sudden.