El Paso daily herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1881-1901, 1898-08-06
A Model Newspaper.

appears bu6b DOoS Sn6Tllc 10 NCEy
solicitOus about the future Of the HER
AID. He is dreadfully afraid the paper
will bump it's nose or bark its shins or
something, and, too, he doesn't like to
see q cart load OF men with a future
ahead of them going plum straight to
perdition without benefit of clergy.
The cause of solicitude seems to be that
he does not like to see in print any
thing that may be in the slightest de-
gree unpleasant in its character.
For Uncle Charles benefit, there
fore, we will proceed to tell below
what q newspaper might be-how his
sensitive soul might be preserved from
hurt. In Cornwall, England, there is
a newspaper Jailed the Ostrich. The
paper is issued and distributed gratui-
tously throughout Cornwall twice q
week. Its object is unique-to make
its readers happy and healthy. The
system of the publisher is based on
the science of suggestiveness,
and the Ostrich is so arranged that
only the agreeable things are sugges-
ted. 1t is printed on a delightful pale
rose-colored paper, and certain words
like happy, good, peace, success, amia-
BILE, health. beautiful, etc, are printed
death, pain, killed, misfortune, hor-
rible, ETC., are avoided. In the entire
paper, with the exception Of one col
urn, not a single disagreeable word is
printed.
The motto of the Ostrich is: Gwen
of truth one-half ia falsehood." One
column bears the title, "Whst Would
S. 81. d. Say to IT." S. n. d. stands
for Sir Humphrey Davy, and he is tax
en- as the model of all human things,
the yardstick with which everything
IL measured.
Certain kinds OF news are printed
For example: "At banquet at Bir-
mingham Lord Salisbury declared that
the situation of the Armenians was
such as demanded serious considera-
ton.
IS. II. ID. would say: The conside-
ration only becomes serious by Lord
Salisbury's calling it so. There may be
less in the matter than one would ex-
pect.'n
Another column bears the head,
THE Demented of Tomorrow" Under
it all Important political news is com
mented upon aud corrected. The cor
rectious OF the Ostrich are considered
sound.
"How does This Concern Me?" is the
head of third department, in which
all the news from foreign countries Is
grouped.
Under the head "We Do Not Believe
in IT., all accidents, shipwrecks, earth
quakes, murders, fsmines, ETC.. are
collected. The Ostrich does not be-
lieve in such things. and in printing
this class of news deprives it of all
shocking features. For instance, a
double murder, the result OF delirium
tremens. bears the harmless title
fthTnra MILD doo no
the murderer needed more milk than
brandy. The report that q member
of parliament fell from his horse
and broke his leg is headed
"At Lawn Tennis" and it begins:
cat lawn tennis it could never have
happened that Sir Robert Harcourt,
member of parliament for Dunbar,
would fall from his horse" etc. A
flood is called surplus water" q fam
inc is referred to as "a general fru-
gality," in q railway collision 20 per-
sons are Cancelled, a train is not de-
rallied, but ''glides from the track. I"
out, but ''yellowish" one. A build
ing burns down and of 400 persons 277
perish. The Ostrich does not mention
them, but says, mot less than 1913
were saved"
Very sad news is printed in the
smallest type, so the experienced read
err is warned. No unpleasant details
are given. After a mere statement,
the paragraph ends with Continued
on page 13.' There is no 18th page.
The man who has invented this
peculiar newspaper, says the Port
land Oregonian, is John ellis. He
was q school-teacher, published some
essays, and then became a Journalist.
He studied the population Of London
and Bristol and gradually formed his
opinion of what sort of a newspaper
would be appropriate for their health,
doing it from purely humanitarian
motives.
The paper is q favorite all along the
coast. The words printed in heavy
type were popular from the beginning.
Children learned to read the conspic u
Gus words for themselves, and the
were rejoiced that their little
ones lea ned first of all to read OF Joy,
Of happiness, andIbeauty.