The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1898-03-13
WIPED BKroRF IT BuDDED.
s~usureanue,s wonderful harden Npat we've
was Planted.

Brown greeted him with;
Good for you, old man. Whom you move to
the country do as the countryman IL supposed
to do. I thought that you would come to It."
Come to whAtf'' asked Suburbanite blankly.
"a garden, TO DO sure"
Mr.. Suburbanitc looked as uncomfortable rs
II he had Just boon accused of walking Off with
one of the clubs match safos.
"woll, yes he said, II hope to have q little
garden, you know, just for my own amusement,
but 1 have said nothing about 1t. l intended
IL for O surprise for my friends. How did you
happen to guess itf'
mo guesswork at all. 1t was simply q logi-
cal deduction. You moved into the country,
ergo you were bound to have a garden. Ihave
simply been waiting for the premonitory symp.
toms and l now detect Them"
Mr.. Subtrbanitc looked over his clothes
guiltily, as IL, by chance, there might DO earth
clinging to them as an evidence that he was
about to till the soil.
"You are getting to be q mind reader.
Brown"
Not n bit OF IL, old man. know, because I
once lived in o suburban town myself for two
whole years. II l were not strong on dates I
should be inclined to say that IL was four whole
years because of tho things that Learned dur
ing that time. / served my time at tho burglar
fever, l went through servants panics and de-
sertions and ] had a garden. You said unkind
things about that garden, but you have for.
gotten them now. l have been watching you
closely for several weoks for the symptoms
which l knew would appear. For instance,
you came to the club night before last with a
brilliantly covered pamphlet under your arm
which YOU took pains to conceal"
We'll, what's the connecticut" asked Subur-
hanite.
.It-wns-a-seed catalogue. and I knew It,"
said Brown.
II checked Il. with my coat" said Sub
urbnnite thouRhtfully.
cover ,i fpfT nte MR%s It B Becw as ' "sna f' tn saw that shs
YOU and Mrs. Suburbanite planned your garden
that night. You picked out your seeds in &C,
illustrated them. oh. those, seed catalogues!
1t Is said that anticipation is pleasanter than
e of mole Value IL than imS, n rs garden srTi; a sch Oh, G yes. I know vs.
that you have secured the services Of q reliable
gardener. did My garden didn't look S III
l saw your pockets bullying out with small
packages. | suspected, and when you walked
tents Of those packages, 1 knew that you were
loaded down with seeds. You have some OF
those grand peas unequalled for excellence.
lettuce of unusual size and solidity of head.
with but little tendency to run To, seed and o
package OF thar early corn described so glori-
luscious, milky, tender corn YOU will become a
convert TO it, for, IL Will delight the most fastidi;
Mr.. Suburbanito collapsed into a big leather
chair and looked as il hts fences were all down.
be as skeptical an you are for the world"
II had just as much, faith as you have now
said Brown, and l left the shattered rem
minutes from New York City Hall. There
wasn't c ough left, to be OF any service. dis
covered the periidy OF the furnace i.ian. tho
c1inNtinr nj the butcher. ana ttklpneSS OF house,
hold servants, and stlll ! had faith. Somebody
sen: me II seed catalogue in the spring. and l
started a garden. before the leaves began to
fall my faith was wrecked. Take the advice
OF a man who knows and don't have a garden.
Join "a Dorcas Society, become a member or a
literary circle. or IA Friday evening euchre
party, but no garden
My town may be different from the one in
which you lived" ~rejoined Suburbanite weakly.
Now there is Jones who lives near Mo. lie
had a Gnrdea last summer and he frowed about
L all tho time. IL Jones can raise things, l can.
Was 1t his first gardenf'
Then the reasonable assumption said
Brown. lis that Jones lied. l didn't tell. :he
truth about my garden. and you won about
yours, A man Is as touchy about it as he is
ubout.his dog or his horse. By the way, are there
many dogs in your neighborhoodi"
They will never let Your vescta bles stick
their tops above ground. They Will root them
out before you know it, ,
Mr.. Suburbanite's rest or something else had
refreshed him. and. sitting up in his chair. he
rallied and fred II shot at Brown.
You must remember. my dear fellow" he
| said, that your suburban experience was six
years ago, and since that time you have hardly
Ioked your nose outside of the club. Now let
inc tell you that times have changed. | now
in garden time. You show your ignorance
when you talk about dogs. Let me tell you,
for instance. that have IN my pocket some
IL is true. These carrots beautifully illustrate
The theory of evolution. They have been evolved
from the carrots that you once knew. They are
! raIppfhipV NOW. Ag hONn rs this brand of car
rot thrusts its tender plant above the surface OF
the ground il has a mushroom growth Of SHARP
spikes. No dog would dare to stick his nose
near them. These spikes will wound n dog as
seriously MS por :qpine quilts, and they are the re-
sec how beautifully nature takes care Of her own
Brown, and how, much behind the times vouI
vegetable lore is
las another illustration this package Of
sweet peas will grow vines such MS you never
saw. Each vine is as hard and tough as wire
and within each IL II latent electrical fluid &C
arranged that the moment dog pokes his nose
into The sweet peas hn will receive n shock which
will disable him, You probably don't know
moreover, that carnations will intoXicate u cat
Noi Well they will. Now ! have secured & new
brand OF carnations which appeal to dogs. and
one Whit OF which Will intoxicate n bloodhound
so that he cant move.
Now. perhaps, you see the theory of modern
gardening. am going 10 plant my spiked car
second fighting limo will BIO the electrical! sweo
peas. II stray dogs or cats avoid being spiked
when they get within the inclosure they will ind
Attempting array of these intoxicating Garna
tons, Don't you SOC how easy itisi In tht
intrudors on the bend and there you are. No
no. now don't interrupt, Brown. ] listened pa
| tiCntly To all you pcssiniisric talk about gardens
Just to see now ignorant you were. Modern
science has made gardening so s!mplo that ever
YOU might succeed in It II you get the ri2hl
seeds. Good.by. Brown. I've got only hvo min
utcs for my train" and Mr.. Suburbanite DASHED
down tho stops 10 the accompaniment of seed,
rafting In their boxes.
brown looked worried as no watched Subur
banite. but IL might have cnnforied him had h,
known that the porter OF the car in which Sub
urbnnite travelled reported at the end of its tri!
that thirty or more small suspicious lookinl
packages which emitted u rattle when moveC
were found under a seat. These packages mr.,
still awaiting n claimant in the lost md founc
Office.
CONCLUDED NOT TO SHOOT.