Chicago eagle. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1889-19??, 1898-06-04
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Statesman.
Fuddy-Are you in favor Of a single
tax? Duddy-I go farther than that.
would have no tax at all.--Boston ,
Transcript.
How does Blankly get along? lie
Gays that he's too proud to beg and too
honest to steal" "He gets trusted
indianapolis Journal.
"what long. thin head Jimson has"
Hasn't he7 Looks rs II he had pushed
It under q bureau for a collar button"
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
This would be very happy world II
people wonld always wear the expires.
sion they do when they are having
their pictures taken.-Puck.
Mrs. Tlight-1sn't II terrible. this
talk Of war? Mrs. Blunt-Yes: but We
are fully prepared. Harry's life Is In.
sured.-lndianapolls Journal.
my voice Is still for war" shouted
the impassioned orator. How about
the rest Of your" yelled sarcastic by.
stander.-Clcveland Plain Dealer.
"Quiglcy always kisses his wife on
entering and leaving the house."
"Yes; queer how habit clings to q
man, isn't it"-Philadelphia North
American.
Papa. when horse laughs he kicks
up his heels. doesn't he?" II guess So"
well, old Bill has just laughed at Ben.
ME. Won't you come out and carry him
inT'-Truth.
Rcctor's wife-And what has my dear
girl given up during Lent? Dear girl
Well. you see II was SO hard for me to
make up my mind that just gave up
thinking.-Life.
Y.--Is your wife honest? C.-what
do you mean? II mean do you ever Hnd
her short In her accounts?" "Well. I
should soy not! You ought to hear
her"-Yonkers Statesman.
Sometimes" said Uncle Eben. II
has mer splcions dat dat boy or mine
doesn't show mo- respcck fob advice
case he sees how little his father done
got out'n it."-Washington Star.
Pryne-So you're a Ncw.Yorker, too.
What borough? Greene-Well. I bur.
row In Manhattan Office building by
day, and a Brooklyn boarding house
after notwithstanding Life.
"Ain't I little bow.legged?" asked
the dubious young man. "Bow.leggedr
said the tailor. "The idea! Your lower
limbs. sir. are absolutely without o
parallel"-Indianapolis Journal.
"How did Fakem. the hypnotist, get
along on his last trlp?" First rate.
until he tried the impossible. He hyp.
noticed tramp one day and tried to
make him saw, wood."-Brooklyn Life.
Office boy ito his employer)-Mr.
Brown, outside, sir. wants to SEQ the
Junior partner. Junior partner-Not In:
I owe him $50. Senior partner-Show
him In; he owes me $i0.-Harpcrs
Bazaar.
weaver-Poetry Is something that 10
born In one; It cannot be acquired. The
making Of poetry Is q gift. Beaver
30 10 the disposing Of II, 30 far Al !
have had any experimentation
Transcript.
'Your husbands temperature" said
the physician, "is alarmingly high
lO5." Couldn't you make II an even
hundred" asked the patient, ovcrhesr.
ing the doctors MISUNDERSTANDING.
oils Journal.
Jane (reading)-The wearied sentinel
leaned on his gun and stole few mo.
ments' sleep. Little Robbie-I know
where he stole II from. Jane-Where.
Robbie? Robbie-From his nap-sack.-
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
she-What does this mean about all
lust government deriving Its authority
from the consent Of the governedF He
1t means that when man gets mar.
ried he practically agrees to take the
consequences.-Puck.
Observation-Disclosures. that's old
spriggings. Half dozen doctors have
given him up at various times during
his life. .Wing-What was the trouble
With him. Bing-Hc wouldn't pay his
b!lls.-Boston Traveller.
Iohnny-De they have elephants In
Asia? Papa-Oh, yes. Johnny-Do
they have excuses In Asia? Papa
Moo; ! think not. Johnny-Well.w what's
the use Of having elephants II they
don't have circuses Puck.
Mudkins-What would you say, sir,
i'll should tell you that I love your
daughter? Mr.. Cashtuburn-Not. q
word, sir; not n word! Your audacity
would simply hold me spellbound."-
Philadelphia North American.
His wife-And you are to defend tina,
shoplifter? The lawyer-My dear, SHIT
isn't n shoplifter. She was formerly
but she has saved so much money In
the last ten years that she has become
a ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS Lampoon.
1--WE heard 1t said lie was mind
reader" said her dearest friend. "It'i
not true" she replied bitterly. How Dc
YOU know He has been calling OF
me twice week for three months and
hasn't yet mustered up the courage Il
propose. Chicago Evening Post.
NJ want war;" said Blllets, facetious
", .because ! am In hopes that In tina
way some OF my creditors will he killed
on" II suppose" remarked Crisp
that you would rather see them killed
outright than have them starve u
death."-Philadelphia North American
Burglar Bill Ito his new cell-mate)-
O. ..,,,-a n musician are We an On