The Madison daily leader. [volume] (Madison, S.D.) 1890-current, 1898-01-28
FRENCH MARRIAGES.
MATRl ~ONY THE GREAT OBJECT TO
ALL GIRLS OF FRANCE.

Customs In This Particular Have Changed
Radically-At the Present Time the Per-
sonal Inclinations of Young Women Are
Considered.
Miss Anna l.. Bicknell is an English
lady who has had most unusual oppor-
tunities for studying French life. For a
number Of years she was a governess in
the household of Napoleon III and re-
sided in the Tuileries. For The Century
Miss Bicknell has written an article on
French Wives and Mothers" Miss
Bicknell says:
The old marriage de CONVEYANCE, which
caused so much sorrow and consequent
evil in former days, when a girl was
taken out of a convent to be shown the
man to whom she was about to be mar
ried, is now a thing of the past. 1t must
be acknowledged, however, that mar
riages are still made up, often too has
tily and specifically, by nicely balanced
family arrangements and by the inter-
vention Of friends. Nevertheless, attrac-
ton and repulsion are now taken into
consideration, and a girl is no longer
forced to marry a man whom she posi-
lively dislikes. I could quote instances
in the very highest (historical) aristoc-
racy where, at the last moment, after
the trousseau had been sent in (marked,
according to custom, with the united
initial letters Of the two names elabo-
rately embroidered) and all the social
preparations made, the marriage was
broken off because the bride had de-
clared that she could not "get accus-
toned" to the bridegroom nor endure
the idea of seeing his face in her home
during her natural life. In one of these
instances the family lamentations over
the initials Of the trousseau were really
amusing. Fortunately a substitute was
soon found whose name, like that of the
rejected sutton, began with an X, and
the complications were thus happily
settled.
The great object of the French girls
life is marriage. From the time of her
birth her parents have prepared for this
event, and in many cases they have con-
siderably straitened their income and
curtailed their enjoyments to make up
her dot. Every girl i'll every class is ex-
pected to have something. Those who
nave nothing are exceptions and consti-
tute a minority of old maids. The girls
who from choice do not marry generally
become nuns, usually much against the
wishes of their parents. The old tales
OF young ONE being forced into con-
vents to improve the position of their
hrnthnrc = for,o<.,, -, $Io-, lo.-o
when, while nc child can ON any pre-
tense be deprived Of a share in the ia
theirs inheritance, monastic vows are
not recognized by law. Nuns and spin
sters are exceptions; marriage is the
rule.
When a girl is of age to be introduced
into society, her friends and relatives
Immediately look out for a suitable hus-
band, whom it is considered highly de-
sirable to obtain before she has reached
the age of 2l, that she may not be pro-
claimed file majeure when the banns
are published. The principal considera'
tions are equality of birth, of position,
of fortune, and in the last particular
the scale is usually expected to weigh
rather more on the side of the young
lady, especially if the young man. in
addition to sufficient present advantages,
can bring forward number of relatives
not likely to live long. This is called
having hopes {des esperances-beaucoup
d'esperances). If the young lady with a
substantial dot can also show a satisfac-
tory backgl ound of invalid uncles and
aunts, then everything is as it should
be, and the young people are brought
together with every prospect of a favor
able conclusion. 1t happens, however,
too often that they do not know each
other sufficiently, and that they are per-
suaded to believe that the mutual liking
is greater than it really is. Sometimes
this sort Of underlined attraction ripens
into a deep and devoted love. When
this occurs, there are no more affection
ate wives or more faithful widows than
Frenchwomen.
More frequently, especially in the
higher classes, a sort of cool friendliness
springs up, where they see but little of
each other, and freedom is enjoyed on
both sides. The authority of the hus-
band is less felt than in an English
household. There is a sort of under
standing that in her home the wife is
queen and settles matters as she pleases.
But their best aud warmest feelings
are awakened by all that concerns their
children. French parents are perhaps
the most affectionate in the world. The
interests and welfare Of their children
are their first consideration, and Won
derful sacrifices of their own pleasure
and enjoyment are made in favor Of
their sons and daughters by the most
worldly men and women. These are
taken as a matter Of course; no one
thinks OF doing otherwise or of seeing
any merit in such acts.
The mothers especially are unequal.
ed. Nothing will stand in the way of a
Frenchwoman where her children's in
:orests are concerned. This love is so
engrossing that it swallows up every
other. They are more mothers than
wives, and IT called upon to choose be-
tween allowing a husband to 20 alone
on a. foreign mission or leaving their
children they would not hesitate. "Mes
enfants avant tout"