Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1898-09-15
MORE BULLS" FROM IRISH PASTURES.


for there is really something to be
proud of In its possession--is not, rs is
commonly supposed in England, con-
fined To the lower, or perhaps 1t would be
better to say the uneducated, classes. 1t
is certainly more widespread among the
humber folks; but very often amusing
examples Of it come tripping from the
hasty tongues, and even from the leisurely
pens, Of educated and well.to-do people.
+. In q recent annual report of a benevolent
society having its headquarters in Dub
lin, the following delightful sentence
occurs: Notwithstanding the large
amount paid by the society for medical
attendance and medicine, very few deaths
occurred during the year" A Cork news
paper published report of an open-air
political meeting, in which this para
graph appeared: "Mr NJ. A. Brennan
next spoke st much 4ength in his usual
happy style, but from the distance we
OF his remarks"
Even the Commissioners of National
Education in ireland arc occasionally
subject to this strange, but lnughable,
confusion OF thought and utterance. In
a Parliamentary Blue-book, containing
the annual report of the Commissioners
of National Education, and signed by
these august personages, the following
tit-bit may be read: "'The female teachers
were instructed in plain cooking. They
had, in fact, TO 60 through the process Of
cooking themselves in turn"
But it Is, as | have said, amongst the
peasantry as class that the making of
bulls" more widely prevails. A coun.
trywoman walking through the streets OF
Limerick caught sight Of small coffin
| displayed as gruesome trade sign In an
undertakcr's shop window. ooh, glory
| be to God" she exclaimed, sis it possible
that coffin can be intinded for any.livin'
crature?" Tho owner of valuable
| horse was very indignant with his stable.
boy for having allowed the animal, which
he had taken out for morning trot, to
take head. "rhe divil bit o me could
sthop him, sir, for had no spurs" was
the boys strange excuse. An amusing
story was told me by friend who is n
dispensary doctor in union in the south
of Ireland. One night he was awakened
by t. rapping at the front door of his resi-
dence, and going to the window, saw a
.laboring man below. whats the mat
ter, my good fellow?' he said. "'ris me
ould mother that's tuck bad, docther,'
replied the man. .Have you been long
| utIGs uohCl tlb uOCbtH. luNC
yer homer" "And why on earth didn't
you ring the night.bell'Y" "Sure, was
afraid I'd disturb yer homer" was the
mans perfectly sincere reply. No doubt,
with the Irish peasants desire to make
himself as little troublesome as possible
to his betters, from whom he has to ask a
| service, the man had confused idea that
rapping at the door would disturb the
doctor less than ringing the door-bell.
"Bulls" often originate in misunder-
standing Of the meaning Of words or
terms. A lady asked widow whether
her son was still in the orphanage in
Dublin. "Och no, me lady," was the re.
ply. "Suro he's an orphan no longer.
| He's now workn' at thrade outside"
At an inquest held recently in Galway
concerning the death of child under
rather suspicious circumstances, q quack
doctor, who attended the child, stated in
the course of his evidence that he had
given him ipecacuanhp, "You might as
well have given the Aurora Borealis, y
said the coroner. Now, there Is one
thing an Irish peasant will not do, and
that is. acknowledge his ignorance of any
subject. SO the quack doctor returned the
prompt reply; "And sure, yer homer,
that vas the very thing | was goin' To
give him next if he hadn't died just thinn'
The incapacity of the average Irish mind
tc rapidly grasp the import of numbers is
also the fruitful source of "bulls." Every
one will! remember Charles Keane's pic
ture OF the steyedore at the hatchway,
shouting down 10 the men in the hold:
NOW, thin, how many of We is down
there ?" "Five of us." "lhin, half OF
YES KUN up directly" cries the stevedore.
| nko l;,,ht IL, ,yLs1,h 6..p,octtr coruoo 10
regarded by some servants in Ireland is
illustrated by an amusing anecdote which
was told by lady in u letter written to a
Dublin newspaper some time ago. A
young country girl called on her in an.
swer to an advertisement for general
servant. Have you references" asked
the lady. GA reference p exclaimed the
girl in injured tones. "What do want
that forg Sure. It's I've got to live with
you, and not you with me-" That lottet
led to the relation byia second mistress Of
the story of another laughable BULL
One day her servant answered knock al
the hall door "Who was it that calledr
she asked the maid subsequently. I'll
was u ginteman, ina'am, l0okin' for the
wrong house." was the reply.
There is story told in journalistic cir
Giles in Dublin of delightful display oil
'cuteness by farmer who called at one
of the newspaper offices to have an ad.
vertisement inserted. lie was informed
that the charges were 6s. for the first in
sertion and IS. Cd. for the second. "Faith
thin" said he, IN have il in the second
tonne"
Here are two comical "bulls," due e
the Celt's lightning rapidly of thought
as it son or daughter your sister
Mrs. Healy, has got ?" asked gentleman
of one of his tenants whom he met OF
the road "Thc curse of the crows or
me, but l don't know whether Pm ar
uncle or all aunt" was tho immediate
reply.
was once present at review of Q
militia regiment in the south of Ireland
when the sergeant jor came up and re
ported to the colonel that all the ammu
milton was exhausted. "rhen sount
Cease firing" roared the commanding
officer.
AT Killarney every visitor hears somt
laughable stories. Here lie one-new anc
fresh, think-which picked up durinl
my last visit to the glorious lakes.
number of boatmeh who were quarrellnj
about the division of "tips," INDUCED a
the top of their voices in good deal o
profano language, which the marvellous
echo repeated verbatim "Arrah, look Il
that now for schandal." said one of thu
party who was of pious turn. "Tachin
the poor harmless echo to curse ant
sware."
Generosity. Ito dentist)-
wouldn't pay nothing extra for gas
Just yank her out, if it does burt