The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1898-08-07
ELBOWS ON THE Table.
Remarks of n Correct Woman on Dinner
Customs of the Present Day.

Remarks of n Correct Woman on Dinner
Customs of the Present Day.
when 1 was learning the way in which I
was expected to act as a grown-up person."
remarked a woman who had already reached
the stage that was marked by white hair and
the generous lines OF a dowager's figure. lit
was always impressed upon me that, whatever
else might happen. l must keep my elbows of
the table. There was little danger that l would
eat with my knife. One or two warnings
usually rid a child Of any tendency toward
that habit. l got over it soon enough to have
no recollection Of any prolonged training in
that direction.
But the elbow question was a more serious
one. / had to be reminded OF my weakness in
that direction My subsequent triumph was
bought only after q struggle. But it did come
ultimately. and conscious of my own strength
! al u pity for persons who had not learned
the lesson as I had in childhood. But there
were very few opportunities for me to exhibit
this sympathy. Inever saw anybody put their
elbows on the table at any time. 1t was quite
as unknown as to find anybody eating with q
knife. so. in, common with other persons who
received thor breeding at the time ] did. ell
bows on the table went down with the knife as
one OF the objectionable crimes of dining
room etiquette.
But / have learned within recent years that
l was wrong about all that. There is not the
slightest breach of the best table manners in
sitting through IA dinner with ones elbows on
the table. so long US the arms above and below
them happen to belong to q woman. If they
remain on the dinner table, during tWo-thirds
OF The meal. That. indeed, is the distinctly
'smart attitude at iqrEe dinners; S and the Riri
lean on the table with her head in her hands
and stare or smile at the man Opposite has
the most effective dinner tricks known to the
girls Of to-day It Is even possible t9 hold a
the table. SIT, it slowly. but that is a little diff
cult and needs practice,
Camille and it was very fetching. But be
ginners should be cautious about trying IT..
With both elbows on the table and the arms
toy with a piece OF bread, talk TO the man next
to her, and make q very ,piquant tableau. She
several times during a dinner. and II the arms
are pretty the effect is. OF course. very much
To- I9' Vary INTELLECTUALLY the monotopy Of the, atti-
tuies at a dinner, whatever their particular
con. offers the same opportunitIes. OF course.
it is scarcely worth while for them 70 do any
hing Of this kind at home, so there Is no uso
One thing must always be borne in mind.
Elbows on. the table can still be vulgar; That
Is the result when the arms rise horizontally on
the table with the elbows pointing out. That IS
as much bad form to-day as it was fifteen years
ago, and / don't believe that any girl in tho
with propriety. The elbows must rest on the
table only when the arms are vertical.
zone other change has come about which
seemed a violation of something. | had been
taught in the past, although il il looked upon
now as a perfectly permissible practice, even il
IL has non the sanction OF fashion. Not long
ago | saw u woman in D~elmonicp's using Il
toothpick most SYSTEMATICALLY. She was almost
defiant IN the way she iiOurtsird il about, i
know her. knew that she was not II woman who
could possibly he ignorant OF what Was proper
ANA wondered When | am in the darl; about
those matters | consult my, children. 80 l
asked one Of my daughters. when got home
| that night how IN the world Mrs. ". happened
to be using u toOihpick like that IN public
when it was supposed to he something
tia, was usually confined to the privacy OF u
w0man's room. oh. that's done every where
now she said To me. Last summer at ll"m-
IIrg tho lrince of Wales used one regularly
on the p!nHZa and made the waiter bring him
one. 1t took some time ana after that ne came
10 tho restaurant always with Il little gold one
! that u~nScrewrd like IA pencil aud couli be car
ried in his vest pocket He uses IL always in
public and so do the English people who copy
him. The Americans who 60, 10 London rrgu-
larry saw that and Imported the custom to let
it br seen that they knew what was done IN tho
pr,ncr ui MaleS's set
"rhGt did not serve to quiet my own mis-
giyiugs as 10 proprivtV. but it helped 10 cN-
Ilpin what | had heard about "a fashionable
amateur who went to tho opera HlwaIS win Il
1 gold tuuthp."k and seemed to ENJOY It. 1t also
helped m" 10 rcaIt2c that manners change.