Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1898-11-10
The Congressman and the Lobsters.


ton. He turned up at Washington
the representative OF Congressional
district of his native State-a State
far removed from the seaboard. The
knowledge possessed by Congressman
X,concerning things OF the watery
and mysterious deep was at this time
! limited. Bhndfolded and sealed in
the darkest subcellar that ever
yawned, Congressman y could have
distinguished red ear Of corn from
white one, but with his best specta-
cles he could not have told a dolphin
from a marIine-spike.
1t was during his first week at the
capital. He reached his hotel late,
and he was tired and hungry. He
determined to have his dinner served
in his room, and rang for waiter
He turned to the sea food on the bill
of fare, attracted no doubt by It's COM
parative novelty. Oysters be knew,
thanks to the activity Of the Baltl-
more packers and the cheapness with
which square-cornered tin cans are
produced. CLANS were also within
hi. ken. Experience had shown him
as it has others, that a dozen of either
of these is no such unreasonable num-
Der for consumption at one sitting.
He would have a dozen oysters.
Waiter" he began. Unlucky mo-
mentl His wandering eye caught the
word lobster" Now with this fruit
of the sea he had no personal acqaint-
ance. But analogy, and an underlined
general idea, pointed to it as being
very like an oyster or clam. Waiter,
bring me dozen Holsters"
"Sah ?" returned the astonished
waiter.
81 said you may bring me a dozen
Holsters"
Eyes, sab. I-ah-sah-"
"Well, what's the matter? Don't
you understand"
"Yes, sab. But it's "a large ordeh,
sab.
Large order, is it," exclaimed
Congressman X, with some warmth.
"Well, don't you think l can pay
for it? Got to give references before
I can get supper, eh ?"
The terrified waiter fed, calling ont
as he did so, Fetch yo' ordeh right
up, sab I" while the Congressman sank
back in his chair and mused of what
the heavier courses of his repast should
consist.
In due time the door opens and en-
ter the waiter, and with HIM three
other beings like unto himself; each
bears aloft tray on which repose
three Holsters, red as the morning.
Congressman X was on the point Of
crying out in CONSERVATION, when he
caught triumphant expression on the
face of the original African. He IN
stantly pmothered his emotions and
looked on languidly as the four de-
posted their burdens on the table.
Then he waved them away and
Strengthened up.
Left alone with his conscience and
twelve broiled Holsters, the statesman
felt that the mighty hour Of his exist
ence had indeed arrived. He was en-
couraged to find, however, on exami-
nation, that fair proportion OF the
lobster consists Of horny substance
not intended to be eaten. He was
hungry, and he is what is known in
his own State as a good feeder. y
He ate three Of the Holsters, and then
paused. But the memory Of that
look on the waters face spurred him
to action. He emptied his dress-suit
case into his trunk, and therein de-
posted the contents Of FIVE Of the lob
ster shells. A boy came with tele-
gram, and departed with the meat Of
two Holsters done up in An evening
paper. He bore another to the win
dow and tossed it out. But one re-
NAMED. He hesItated, then ate half
of it and rang for the waiter. The
man entered, surveyed the mountain
Of empty shells and his countenance
fell.
Anything else, sab 2 he inquired,
in an awed tone.
"Er, well-no, l think not. It's
late. Just bring me cup Of coffee.
The stern professor of the feminine
preparatory school sat at his desk try