The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1898-10-28
The Breaker.

IN appearance he was ABOUT as common
place as other peopie-a middle-aged man.
| inclined to por.liness AS the train NOV
| ed on he discussed commonplace subjects
with me in commonplace way. 1 should
not have been surprised TO have been told
| that he was a stockbroker or a solicitor,
or that he was engaged in the tea trade.
In the course of our chat something hap
pened TO be said about curious occupa-
tons
We'll" said my companion. 81 do not
suppose that there is any. more curious &C.
cupation than my own / am breaker"
He had not at all the appearance OF a
man used TO horses; but l suggested, "A
horse-breaker, you mean?"
No he said. Just plain breaker.
man who breaks things, breaks any
thing required to be broken; gets his liv-
ing by breaking"
1 glanced nervously at the communica-
tor. though he looked even less like a lun-
attic than he did Ike horse-breaker.
Il see he said smiling, that must ex-
plain. When l left Cambridge with a
classical degree. no prospects and no in
1uence, i looked about for a profession.
found everything overcrowded; besides.
none Of the professions appealed to me at
all. / like TO travel about a little. and
enjoy social life. like talking-talking TO
being the case. / looked about me TO see
il there was not a chance for some new
profession; IL among our million wants
there was not one that was not supplied.
The idea came to me by accident l was
stopping at my uncles house when he re-
ceived ais present from his wife's broth
er a Singularly ugly but very valuable
pair of oriental vases. His wifes bro'h-
er was frequently in my uncle's house.
and therefore these denominations had TO
be displayed. ! heard him grumbling
about this. / suggested that he should
sell them. The idea was. OF course. alb
surd; he told me So Nor. he said. could
he break them himself. for his wife's
brother would never forgive him; nor
could he ask his wife to break them, be-
cause. although he has been married if
teen years, he felt that he did not know
her well enough; nor could he ask the
servants to break them, for that would
encourage carelessness and thriftlessness.
That is all right 1 said. 1 rose from
my place and smashed the vases, one af-
ter the other. on the floor. Sorry l was
so clumsy 1 said, You had better ring
and have the rubbish cleared away He
rang and told the servant that 1 had brok-
en- them accidentally. When she was
gone he said with a smile. 1T seems rath-
er pity l said. I am very short OF
ready money. Could you lend me five
pounds? He wrote me a check for TWEEN
~, and said that / was a useful man TO
know Of. Then i said. Recommend me 70
your friends for already 1 saw the pos
sibility of my future profession. He men
toned me TO some half dozen people he
knew. some of whom had never seen in
my life before. They sent me invita- tions
TO their houses and they indicated the OBJ
jects on which / was TO operate. In my
first week, 1 remember, 1 broke a lamp
shaped like an owl, an oil painting, a tea
service, and a diningroom table"
''But an oil painting" 1 said. How
does one break an oil painting"
at is simple enough" ne said. 'I first
Of all undid the wires so that the picture
fell, then in picking it up l put my foot
through the face. 1t was a portrait OF
my hosts wife's aunt. 1t was more diff
cult to break the dining room table. 1
recollect that II became necessary for the
purpose TO invent a somewhat boisterous
form of round game. Even then we had
to play it for three evenings before the
legs came off. When I left this house my
host handed me a check and promised TO
recommend me TO other people. | never
advertise. and have more breaking TO do
than 1 can possibly find time for. If
could find a young man with plenty of
tact 1 would take him as an assistant"
at must need some tact" 1 suggested.
1T does. 1t so often happens that l am
employed by the husband without the
knowledge Of the wife, or by the wife
without the knowledge of the husband.
Even with the utmost tact one gets
oneself disliked, but that / must put UP
with. The other day one of my clients
asked me to come to his house 20 break a
dinner service. / dined there and made
myself as pleasant as I could and told
several good stories. But then / also
broke the dinner service, or most of IL,
and it was one to which my hostess was
much attached. She said to him after
wards, I will never have the brute in my
house again. "
And what did ne say?"
He said, I fully agree with you, my
dear. To the best of my belief the man
was drunk. If he had not been the son
Of an old college friend I should never
have asked him at all That was little
mean, but then it was necessary for him
TO cover himself in some way. and as I
never break a dinner service under TWEEN
ty-five pounds l received some solatium
for the dignity
ent?" l asked
but it is trihing thing, requiring no tact
at all. Had l had an assistant l should
have sent him. I am TO go the day after
a wedding reception when the presents
are being packed. Those which, from
their ugliness or worthlessness, are not |
worth packing up. and sending 10 the
bridegroom'S distant home. have been
placed on a separate shelf. I shall upset
that shelf and accidentally stamp on any
thing that IS not broken in the fall. The
job won't take five minutes and I get
three guineas for it. 1 am doing it for /
the bridegroom without the knowledge OF /
the bride. Men begin to deceive women /
very soon, I find
II have" ! said, lone or two little OBJ /
jects in my home which
But at this moment the train entered /
Victoria station. and though 1 managed /
to complete my sentence. and my COM (
panion said that he would be glad at any
time 20 oblige me, IN the confusion Of our /
arrival I neglected to take his name and I
address or TO give him ne.'-Barry 1
Pain.
Fortunes in songs.