The record-union. [volume] (Sacramento, Calif.) 1891-1903, 1898-04-29
A WRESTLING OFFICE BOY.
He Knows His Rights, and VILE
Maintain Them.

floor is being rapidly driven into
state of driveling idiocy on account Oh
it.
His trouble is caused by cheerful
tempered and guileless-eyed Office poy'
recently acquired by a man on the
third floor. who is the owner of loud
and noisy whistle The first day of the
incumbency of this new arrival he
started out with the soft and Sooth-
ing INTERPRETATION of Paradise Alley,
finishing up during the absence OF his
employer with vociferous rendition
of lei CAPTAIN the piercing blasts
of which penetrated the flimsy walls
of the old building like a hurricane go
ing through a pine log shack. The
noise reached the man on the floor
above, and, raising him out of his chair
at the first shrek, filled his mind with
visions of a bargain-day sale at the
ax-counter and instilled in his heart
deathsome variety of dark impulses.
The last bar had scarcely died away
before he was out in the hallway ring
ing industriously for the elevator man.
Say" he said as the cumbrous car
of that complacent individual slowly
assembled, say, tell that kid down there
to shut up, go away and die somewhere
or bite off a section of that whistle and
choke himself to death"
Then he retired somewhat relieved
and modified, While the elevator man,
with a cheerful expectation of trouble,
duly delivered the pleasant intimations
of the attorney and awaited returning
instructions.
HUH" said the boy having recover
ed from the shock of the news brought
him, and voicing his careful study of
the situation, you JUS tell dat guy dat
my old man pays rent in this building,
and that l am entitled to whistle all /
Wanter see?"
Then, noting that the transom over
the door was tightly closed, he solicit
tously opened it, incidentally begin
ming a Wierdly awful conception of
Just Tell Them That You Saw Me-"
"Oh! ha! hal" murmured the lawyer,
savagely, on receiving the message.
he will, will he?"
And thereupon. with a wild CLEAN in
his eye sat down and indited a sizzling
letter to the boys employer.
But that gentleman had ideas of his
own on the subject and, after having
thoughtfully cast the gentle missive in
to his capacious waste basket, he called
the Quaking boy before him. gave him a
quarter, and instructed him that whis-
ting was a sign of a careless happy
temperament and a pleasant diversion
of childhood, which it was criminal to
suppress. Then, being a very busy
man, he betook himself off for the day.
| leaving the boy in unqualified and ex-
ultant nOSSpSSiOn of the office
1t was a terrific blast which disturb
ed the atmosphere throughout the
building, causing the elevator to balk
and inducing a Pickering desire on
the part of the gasights to go out, that
first came to the lawyer; and it was
but the preparatory exercise at that,
the noise shortly settling down into a
steady, riotous racket, bespeaking
great powers of endurance and filing
the lawyer with an uncomfortable de-
sire to investigate
A thunderous clatter sounded on the
stairs, the boy ceased whistling and
moment later the door burst open. adj
hitting the flushed and angry lawyer.
Say" he gasped. peerng through
the open door to the inner office iii
search of the boys employer, lis that
you whistling?"
Nav" was the cheerful answer. as
the boy leaned lazily back in his chair
cast a quizzical glance at the attorney
and began sizing him up; nav, amt
whistling'
We'll. you were"
'Gee" exclaimed the boy in mild ac-
cents of surprise. 'Huh-Say-have
you got your 'ad' in the paper?"
II want the noise stopped" savagely
asserted the attorney, unheeding the
boys remark
"Who does?"
Il do-understand"
Il don't see your license"
"Ill have you arrested" yelled the
frenzied lawyer, advancing across the
room
You git outer here" replied the boy
rising cautiously, and reaching for the
inkstand.
We'll, see that you stop that noise.'
I'll whistle if / want to-" ventured
the youth
"Neveri" roared the attorney
II won't, Ell? Ha, ha, pwh-s-pht'-
started the boy, and he gave a com
mendable imitation of a Missouri
steamboat stranded on a mud bar. and
simultaneously bursting a rusty whis-
tie and hammered down steam valve.
Obi" yelled the lawyer, .'oh-I'H
break every bone in your body!''
Yes" snorted the boy; AN I kin
see you countin' out your fine right
now"
OH" moaned the attorney. his fin
gers wreathing restlessly in manner
suggestive of his intense anxiety to do
bodily injury; "oh, but I'll give you a
thrashing''-
THE old man'Il sue yer fer damages
if you do cautiously put in the youth
Then he began a retreat around his
large chair.
WHAT"
Yes; I know the law all right, an
you git outer here. r I'll have yer ar
rested fer trespassing."
"Oh-hn' gurgled the attorney.
Yes, an yer wanter move. too, fer
If the old man catches yer here he'll
push yer face clean through the back
of yer head" supplemented the boy,
reassuringly.
There was a tearfully awful look on
the lawyers writing features, and.
with last despairing glance he turn
ed and went slowly out. a crushed and
broken hearted man. One last con-
vulsive effort he made to relieve his
feelings and the door slammed night
ly behind him.
A moment later it was jerked open
again and the features of the boy shone
into the hallway.
Say" he said. you amt no gent
see. or you wouldn't slam no door,"
Then ha oIacad If softly nj ,,roooo7