The times., 1898-07-26
THE CUBIANs AND WoRRUK.
Mr.. DooIey Explains the Differences
Between Shafter and Garcia.
(From the Chicago JouTnaL)

..Wer, sir" said Mr. Dooley. dam thin
Cubians If / was Gin'ral Shafter Ia
say. I want YOU an I'd have thin all
down at tn station an dacently booked
be tn desk sergeant befure IN fall "
night. Tn impydince iv them
'sWhat have they been doin' p Mr.. Hen
messy asked.
..Failin' to understand our civiliza-
ton" said Mr.. Dooley. "Ye see it was
this way. This is tn way 1t was. Gin raj
Garshy with wan huudherd thOusan
mems beer fightin' bravely fr two years
f'r 10 nberyate cuba. FIR two years he's
been marchin' his sivinty-five thousan
men up an down tn island desthroyin
tn naughty Spanyard be tn millyons
Whin war was declared he offered his
own saryice an tn sarvices iv his ARMY
iv fifty thousan' men TO tn United States
an while waitin' fr ships 10 arrive he
marched at tn head iv his tin thousan
men down TO Sandago de Cuba an cap
tured a cigar facthry, which they soon
rayjooced TO smokin' ruins. They was
holdin this pOsition-Gin' raj Garshy an
his gallant wan thousan' men-whin Gin
raj Shafter arrived. Gin'ral Garshy i'm
mejitly offered tn services iv himself an
his two hundred men fr tn capture iv
Sandago an when Gin'ral Shafter ar
rived there was Gin'ral Garshy with his
gallant band iv fifty Cubians re-ready to
eat at a minyits notice.
"Gin'ral Shafter is a big, coarse two
fsted man fri Michigan, an whin he see
Gin'ral Garshy an his twenty-five gallant
followers. 'Fr-ront.' says he. This way
he says. step lively he says, an move
some iv these things he says Sir >
says Ginral Garshy. dye take me fr
dhray?' he says. I'm a sojer.' he says,
not a baggage car he says I'm Gu
bian pathrite an I'd lay down me life an
the lives " ivry wan iv tn eighteen
brave men iv me devoted ARMY, he
says, but I'll be dam'd If I carry a
thrunk he says IN fight wfiniver
tbs cool he says. an they amt wan iv
these twelve men here that wudden't
follow me TO hell if they was awake at
tn time, he says, but he says, if twas
wurruk we were lookn' fr we cud have
found il long ago. he says. 'They'se
lot iv IL in this country that nobody's
usin', he says. What we want he says,
is freedom he says, AN if We think we
have been in tn woods dodgin tn savage
correspondent fr two year he saws
'f'r tn sake iv r-rushln' ye'er laundbrv
home he says. "tis no wondher.' he
says, that tn r-roads firm Marinette to
Kalamazoo is paved with goold bricks
bought be tn people iy ye'er native
State, he says.
So Shafter had to carry his own
thrunk an weli II was fr him that il
wasn't Gin'ral Miles, tn weather bein'
not. An Saafter was mad clear through.
an whin he took hold iv Sandago an was
sendin' out invitations he scratched Gar
shy. Garshy took his gallant band iv six
back to tn woods and there tn three iv
tnlm ARE now, ARMED with forty
r-rounds iv canned lobster an r-ready to
raysist to tn death. Him an tn other
man has written to Gin'raI Shafter 10
ten MIN what they think iv him, an it
don't take long
Well. said Mr.. Hennessv. ..T tbinl,
Shafter done wrong He might've asked
Garshy in f'r to see tn show, seem that
he's been hangin' ar-round fr Iop-
time, doin' the best he cud."
1T isn't that" explained Mr.. Doolev
IN trouble is tn Cubians don't undher-
stand our civilization. Over here freedom
means hard wurruk. What is tn ambi-
ton iv all iv US. Hinnissy- Tis ayether
10 hold our job or get wan. We wan,
wurruk- We must have it. Dye rayrnirn-
Der IN sign tn mob carried In tn pro-
cession las year? Give US wl,rruk or
we perish it said. They had their heads
pate In be policemen because no philan-
thropistd come along an make thin,
shovel coal. Now. in Cuba. whin the mon
turns out they carry a banner with the
wurruds: Give US nawthin' to do or we
perish Whln Cuban comes home at
night with happy smile on his face he
don't say to his wife an childer: Thank
Gawd, I've got wurruk at last He saws:
'Fhank Gawd. I've been fred An tn
childer so out an they say: 'Pah-pah has
lost his job an Mrs, Cuban buys herself
a new bonnet, an where wanst they was
sorrow an despair all is happiness an q
cottage organ
fe can't make people here undher-
stand that, an We can't make a Cuban
that freedom means tn
same thing as pinitinchry sintince.
Whin we thry 10 get him to wurruk he'll
say: Why should I? I haven't commit
ted any crime That's goln' to be the
trouble. The first thing we know wen
have another war in Cuba. win we be-
gin disthributin good jobs, twelve hours
a day, wan sivinty-flve. Tn CubianS |
ain't civilized in our way. I sometimes
think I've got touch iv Cuban blood in |
me own veins