The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1898-04-10
SMILES FROM THE LATE WAR.

OHerlng themselves as recruits FOR the defenSe
of the country 1 reminded Of the time
l went out myself" said Capt. Harries COL
lector of internal revenue, pointing with his
thumb in the direction of the room in which
the naval recruiting board was doing it's
work
II am also reminded" he went on chat tho
time is approaching when the war stories
| that we old fellows have been telling will
have to give way to others Of more recent
| date if there Is need for the services of these
young fellows
| Now here is bunch of stories that belong
to the annals of the civil war;" and he held
| up bunch Of papers, most of them are
characteristic of the times and the
and some of them perhaps Anticipated
| in their style, but they essentially Ameri-
can, or Irish. in their essential p.cturing Of
| that kind of human nature that made up the
army. Some Of them experiences Of my
own and some of them l picked up at camp
fires, but I suppose they will give way
to quite another STYLE and another story.
Would l mind telling you some of them?
Not bit. Sit down there. Now they are not
connected and they have sort of sequence.
but you are welcome to them, though it is
even POSSIBLE that some of them have been
told before, and told better Here goes:
THE Second Wisconsin infantry was orig
inally uniformed by the state. in grey very
much like the uniform of the confederacy.
1t was shoddy and wore out After the
hrst few months Of campaigning in Virginia
the regiment got to be known as the Ragged
Second and a view of its rear rank when
on dress parade sight to behold. One
bright afternoon Mr.. and Mrs. Lincoln rode
up in an elegant carriage to Kaioramo
Heights, just the regiment had formed for
dress parade. Well the parade was salts
factory and promised to end well, when to
the horror and CONSERVATION Of the men
especially those in the rear rank-the driver
of the presidents carriage started to drive
around to the rear. The excitement was
great and the colonel was in misery. He was
just about, a forlorn hope, to give the
command about face when a gallant officer
stopped the driver and informed him the
road was impossible in that direction, and,
as the carriage turned and drove off in an
other direction there sight of relief such
as was never universally INDUCED in at
the cessation Of any action during the war.
Some of the first officers appointed got
their places through political influence, and
| they made queer samples of commanding Off
GERS. The Seventh Wisconsin, in its early
history, had a colonel who had an nflu-
entail German following and his appointment
was forced. The way he used to get tangled
| when drilling his men was a caution.
"One day he was drilling his regiment by
Cne front ana rear rank urlnS, ana command
ed the rank to about face, ready, aim"
This sudden innovation brought the long line
of file closers and officers to their knees,
while the lieutenant colonel and the major
Immediately took to the woods. The adju-
tant shouted Colonel. that is not correct; you
will shoot the file closers. 1 dond
| tam, yelled the colonel, If yon colonel ish tie
mark, fire away and the soldiers emptied
their muskets loaded with blank cartridges
NOTED to a foreign consulship, polite way
Mr.. Stanton had OF getting rid Of officers who
were not wanted in the field.
THE army was composed of so many diff
ferent sorts OF men and so many nationalities
| that there have survived stories of the Pc
culiarities in language or custom of nearly
every nation
For instance, there a sergeant of a
company in the Twenty-first New York who
had an accent that was remarkable, and
caused end of fun. though he was a gal
liant soldier. He was Cockney. One day he
was drilling funeral squad. They had al
most reached perfection in reverse arms and,
! marching down te.we the l mes, the s.rgeant
said: Your 'eads and harms and heyes are
! correct but you ave not the sorrow on your
faces that you should ave for such a sad
hoccasion.
1T is fact that has often been comment
| ed on that the Southerners really had
| idea that the Yankees could fight. You'll re-
member that one which tells OF the comment
made by old Tcmbs, of Georgia, who said,
when he told that the Yankees would
make fight: Fight! he said why d-n
! 'em, well lick 'em with pcpguns.' He was
reminded of his saying after the war. Well
! he said so we could lick 'em with popguns,
| l,apt Sxl,k =,
There Is another story along, the same
| line Some time after the there were
gathered in the corridor Of the Southern
| hotel at St. Louis number Of veterans who
were fighting their battles over agains One
OF them, an ex-Confederate officer, said:
~ belonged to Mississippi regiment and
the last mothers son Of us expected to re-
turn hcme with at least a dozen Yankees
scalps dangling at his belt. Our orators had
led Us to believe that all we had to do was
to show ourselves, and the Yankees would
break for the tall timber. Our colonel was
a planter who had never seen real live
Yankee, and he fully expected to plant our
regimental colors on the dome Of the ma
tionaI capitol before had been out
month.
Just before Grant invested Dcnelson We
encountered scouting party or Michlganoers
and the colonel took the company to whlcn
| belonged and attempted to head them OH.
They made hasty scamper for brush nelo
that was surrounded by rail fence. and We
broke ranks and lit out after them in go as
you please order. Every man of US wanted
| Yankee and realized that there was not
enough of them to go around. Just as we
| mounted the fence we received volley that
| laid a score of men out Before we could re-
| cover from cur surprise those M1ch1ganders
| were over the fence and at work en- us with
| their sabers and six shooters We concluded
| that we had made mistake and didn't want
any Yankees after all and proceeded to get
| out The colonel was the first man back to
camp. Half OF his left had been shot
| away and he had an ugly sabre cash in his
| shoulder. l helped the surgeon fix him up
and after he had been made comfortable he
turned to the major. who was also an editor
| and said solemnly: 'Yer've been tellin' up in
| yer darned old paper that the Yankees
wouldn't fight. bod rot your measly hide
what do yer cal Hghtin? The majcr replied
that those men were Westerners-only half
Yankees. "Ony half Yankees" yelled the
colonel 'Damme eff 1 haint goin home! If
thems only half Yankees I'll just be dad
burned eff I'm goin' ter tackle any whole
ones"
1.-The wit of the Irish soldiers sometimes
made heavy march lighter and it never
was wanting. l remember hearing story OF
an Indiana regiment the chaplain OF which
was fond of the text: II God be with us who
can be against us?' They had been getting
it pretty regularly and were tired. One day
the chaplain made the cid proposition and the