Owingsville outlook. [volume] (Owingsville, Ky.) 1879-192?, 1898-07-28
Scraps.

SURMOCNTING THE ObSTACLE.-
Her Papa-I'm afraid, young man,
that you and my daughter would
not be happy together. You might
get along all right for a long time
and agree on important matters,
but what would happen when the
little things came to worryH
Her LOver--Well-er-we could hire
. nurse.-NeW York journal,
You Pc D-O.-At dinner az Bill
liol the masters guests were dis
cussing the careers Of two H..liol
men, one Of whom mad just beer
made q Judge and the other q
Bishop. "Oh," said Henry Smith,
II think the Bishop is the greater
man. A Judge, at most, can say
You be hanged but Bishop can
say. You be d-d.' "Yes," charac-
teristioally twittered the master,
"but il the Judge says You be
hanged you are hanged."-Ex.
I'VE have in Kentucky the big
gest caves, the fieetest horses, the
finest churches, the best schools, the
richest minerals, the best sulphur
water, the most modest Of editors.
the best fed preachers, the fattest
cattle. the biggest wheat shocks,
the largest tobacco fields, the big
gest ears OF corn, the most diversi-
fed climate, the most politics, the
prettiest women and the smartest
babies in t.I- world."-Speech Of
Retiring K. P. A. Pres. Gaines.
The MTLKMAID.-Into the COW
lot, bright and gay, the milkmaid
hustles from day to day. and gath
ers the tactical fluid white, while
she morning sun is out Of sight;
and cen when the sunlight fails,
again she hustles up her pals, and
seeks, in the cows with brindled
tails, that fount Of wealth which
seldom fails. Hot winds may blow,
and the grasshoppers hop, and the
bugs and billiards may gather the
crop, but as long as the steam of
milk don't stop, the COW and the
milkmaid will stand on top.
CRoKER's INHERITANcE.-Richard
Croker inherited his gri n deter
mination from his dear old mother.
His extraordinary will power, which
has been attended with 80 full a
measure Of success, is of the Andrew
Jackson brand. You remember the
story Of "Old Hickory" of course.
Some one asked his faithful family
servant a little while after the
Generals death:
"Do you think the General has
gone to heaven2"
"Deed n 1 dunno, sab; dat jis
depen's."
depends on what?"
"Jis depen's, sab, on Of de Gin
erel wanted to 60 dar er not. II he
wanted to 60, he am dar, sho, en- Of
e didn't want ter 60, he ain dar."
New York Press.
TIE EFFECT OF DRINk.-Senator
Vest has q favorite story which he
has told on the occasion Of many q |
political speech, but, so far as
known, never on the floor of the
United States Senate.
IA temperance lecturer was
struggling against odds in Ken
tucky," says the Senator. "He was
talking to q not very large audience
that had been drawn to the
hall by curiosity. The effect Of
alcohol 10 TO shorten life,' said the
lecturer.
"An old man at the rear Of the
hall rose at that juncture and said,
You're . liar
"'whyr inquired the advocate
Of Adams ale.
"'Because, sir, I've been drinking
for rs years, and I'm 80 and am
likely TO live to be 100. I am
strong enough to lick you IL you'll
step OUTSIDE.
"'Oh, no doubt, nrl You're an
exception, sir. II you keep on
drinking
The lecturer paused.
"'WhatP asked the impatient old
topper.
"1f you keep on drinking, you'll
have to be shot on judgment day"
Exchange.
HAPPINESS IN HAwAIf.-A few
years ago . Chicago woman vent
10 Honolulu..She visited things. /
went With h6f. We saw native huts
and native dances, and we st,'od on
the brink Of the Lake Of Fir. and