The Dalles daily chronicle. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1948, 1898-12-19
An Eng1shmans Impression OF
Greater New York.
Americans Come In for a Generous
Share of Praise for Their Cor
rect Conduct-SOme Curl
GUS THINGS

Had the initial stage of existence been
ordered under different circumstances,
and I had been given the choice of a
birthplace, 1 might have elected to be
born an American citizen-somewhere
outside of New York. For what is ore
to say of city that win not permit you
to carry pickles through the streets en-
the seventh day nor allow you to kiss
your best girl on the sidewalk on any OF
the others? 1 might not want at any
period of life to do either one or the
other of these prescribed acts, yet if it
should happen that 1 di0' should hate
to call my own that city which forbade
me.
Indeed, the niceties of life in New
York have been somewhat of puzzle
to me. 1 have not been permitted to
smoke a cigarette while walking along
Fifth avenue with a lady, but 1 have
been allowed to take her to the theater
and occupy a front seat in the stalls
without donning evening dress-a thing
no lady would tolerate in London.
Spanish cities are famous for their
noises, but New York I found to be
noisier than any three of them. My
nerves were at a tension during the
whole of my visit. It is not an unceas-
ing, distant rumble that soon becomes
no discomfort, as in London, but sue
cession of jarring, jerky noises, dis
tracing to the senses. Why you toll
crate it 1 cannot understand. What
with cable cars, the "L' railroad, the
cabs and carts rafting over roadwa-s
with no pretense at paving, and the
thousand and one street cries, New
York is a perfect inferno of clamor.
Indoors find another curious thing
curious, you must remember, to the
Englishman. You heat your houses to
suffocation and then drink gallons of
iced water to keep cool-to the ruin of
your digestion, temper and nerves, un-
til you have become the most dyspcptic
people under the sun and the special
prey of the quack-medicine venders.
You claim to be sensible people, and
yet your candy stores are filed every
day by crowds of struggling women
who eat indigestible pastry to such an
extent that the graveyards of America
contain more tons of gold than OF
teeth.
The New York man does not hustle
as much as you would have others be-
heve. In fact, you don't work, man for
man, so hard as the Englishman. But
you think quicker and larger, and you
think more than you work. You have
great idea, tire of it halfway through
because another greater idea has come
to you, and leave your. subordinates to
work out the minor details of the first
scheme, with the result that it is never
wholly finished. The average Englishman
will see the thing through from begin
ming to end and give his whole attention
to the smallest detail. Yours is a city of
diversified thought and aspirations.
The one thing in which you seem to
have common mind is that you should
wear a crease down the front of an old
pair of trousers.
As to you generally, you are the
kindliest and most hospita bic people on
the face of the earth. This / say with
out reservation, and every Englishman
who has visited your shore will bear me
out in my statement. You never seem
to tire of extending to him civilities and
courtesies such as overwhelm a sensi-
tive man, whether it is in showing with
just pride the wonders and resources
of your great country, or spending your
dollars or your time in his service To
one gentleman, who would nof wish me
to identify him by name, owe deep
debt of gratitude for all he did for
me-a stranger-and his, believe, was
a spirit that pervades you all.-Leslie's