The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1898-08-10
TEACHING EMMA TO RIDE.
Bicycle Lessons That Distract Whole
Neighborhood.
Nev York Stln.


help knowing it unless they were deaf
mutes. Charley is doing the teach
ing; it doesn't require an ear trumpet
to discover that his name is Charley.
The lessons begin about 10 in the
evening, when it is rainless, and last
according to tie endurance Of the
participants. At that hour Brooklyn
streets are pretty well deserted except
in the downtown region. This is a
side street uptown. It is paved with
hard asphalt. IF the asphalt were
softit would be one long bas-relief OF
various portions Of Emma's anatomy.
Owing to the darkness the lessons are
not visible; they make up for this
lack by excess of audibility. Murmur,
exclamation, protest, adjuration, ap-
peal, shrek, rattle, bump, crash, re-
elimination and occasionally objurga-
tion; that's the way Emma learns to
ride the wheel.
In the ears of the neighbornood,
sometimes amused, sometimes sleepily
indignant, sometimes mildly indiHer-
emf, the lesson pursues its cacophonous
course something like this:
s'Now. then, are you all ready?
Jump on
aWait a minute. Ooo-oo-ooh! Don't
let me go, ple-e-e-ease
All right; I've got you. Now
you're off. Go ahead"
so, Charley, what makes it wabble
SO tonight? I know the saddle s on
crooked. =
ssNo, it isn't, either. Fixed it on
myself. Pedal faster. I'll keep
alongside of you. That's it; you're
doing nobly, Emma
s;Ye-e-e-e-s, but I just know I'm
going to fall off in a minute. Ow |!
There's treer'
Keep off the walk, then. The
wheel wasn't built to climb trees
with
Don't make fun Of me, Charley.
It's perfectly hor- Ee-ee-ee-ee.! Ow
Catch me quick! CA thump, followed
by a gentle crash.) There, now, you
have done it =
well, if that isn't just like a girl !
Don't blame it on me because you
can't indulge in the delights Of con-
versation and keep your balance at
the same time. You might reserve
your remarks till later.
Yon neeen't get so cross over one
little fall. It didn't hurt you, I
guess. You took good care to be out
Of the way.
sW you'll map out plan Of your
foppings I'll try to be on hand for
each one. Here you are on with you
again." ca brief respite.) 'sNow
you're getting on first rate"
Yes, if you only wouldn't talk to
me. It distracts my attention. Ouch!
I'm getting wabbly again"
STEADY. All right now?"
Thank you. Yes, Iguess So" ca
pause.) "Charley!"
ssWell ~
Don't you think I'll know how to
ride pretty well by next week 2"
Rackety-whack-bang.
aNo, nor next century. Hurt
you ?''
s'No-o-o, not much. How did that
curb get there? I Thought was right
in the middle of the street.
$50 you were, but while you were
occupied in talking, the gutter slipped
quietly out and barred your path. Bad
habits these cutters around here
have
s'H you're going to be horrid and
sarcastic I shall go in. I'd like to
know if this is what you call teaching
a girl to ride
Good knows it isn't!
"You're'not making it any better
by swearing, Charley"
s'It wasn't exactly swear; just a
sort of slip; due to stress Of emotion.
Anyway I'll beg your pardon and well
start again.
sThis time I'll be real venturous
and go as far as the corner. Now
watch me.
Beautiful, beautiful! Turn around,
now. Come on, turn around!'
"Oh, I can't! The wheel won't go
right. Catch me. -
"Just in time that trip. You were
all right until you let yourself get
nervous. If you'd only make up your
mind 20 it you could ride as well as
anybody"
''Do' you really think so? How