Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1898-03-31

pardon lis, sir, said the thoughtful-looK'
inc man. "but what about the advertising
seagulls?' -, WILL
first off, this aged sage Of Madison square,
one George Francis Train, he
"Sage, you mean," put in the lubber;
"but he isn't a seaguv, Hope, -, ,o
"Notever he is, continued Bill, this
Train dashed around the globe with fright
full rapidty to advertise the town and beat
Nellie BLY, silly. But he was gone 80 long
the people forgot him before the old man
showed up in his cork helmet and cusSed
copious because the scheme collapsed proper
and dismal. So the town lot sharks tell
back on seagulls, and told the press agents
to boom them birds special in the Tacoma
papers. If star gulls performed there reg
ular and the news got logged all over the
country, people would yearn to inhablt La
coma and enjoy these natural advantages
That's wot the boomers said, but had me
doubts all the time, knowing gulls to be
out and out bilgers."
"What is bilger?" asked the lubber' :,
Gust round TO with them questions TIL
Pm DONE" snarled Bill. "and then vau. !,
LOW more, i.rane 1t. Tile opening gull
warn was wrote by spider-shanked young
man in gum shoes what crulsed along the
water front in the wake of shipping items
His paper owned some choice mortgaged
real estate, and he likewise stood pat on
the boom idea. This gull story, as | over
haul it now, was depicted at the sawmlll,
and told how the birds held council about
something or other on the yards Of ship
taking in cargo at the mill. :,
when this meeting broke up siney dle
one fat old gull got his foot fouled in hall
a fathom Of ropeyarn on the main royal
yardarm. He fetched II up taut and then
swung back till he fell and hung under the
SPAR head hung down like bat. This gull
couldn't get his foot clear, and he likewise
couldn't rise up and fly. So he hung in the
wind and squawked fearful. Hearing all
this racket the flock put about and came
sailing back, with the old boss gull in com
mand, tuning up his pipes and telling the
rest wot to do, but they didn't do it. 30
the boss gull lit on the yard, looked solemn
at the patient and thought some. Then he
flew away to bonfire, where the sawmill
tailngs were burning, and picked up a
blazing splinter in his blooming beak'
Holding the cold end in his mouth the boss
gull went back to the ship with the torch,
burned the string in two and set the NOAH
ing prisoner free.
"Howsumever, this here pipe dream got
printed all over the country, and editors
wrote long pieces about the intellects Of
seagus. Four families moved down from
Seattle, where the gulls was dopey and
didn't know nothing special, and maybe
that town didn't rise howl. The mayor
and chief of police said Tacoma was pur
Joining the population because she wantet
to be the biggest town. So the mayor o.
Seattle said he'd soon stop them gull show
at Tacoma. The spder-shanked young
man was standing by to wake up again
when early one morning nine Seattle mel
with shotguns and an army tent hit thu
beach at Tacoma. All the gulls scattered
10 the trees and watched curious Will
them Seattle pirates rugged their tent on tn
sand and got into it. Pretty soon these her
intelligent bi.peds futtered back and Sc
on the sand to look ut the tent some more
when, blow me, il they didn't get 10 barrel
OF buckshot in bunch'
Back them birds went to the trees an
watched proper cunning while one maj
emerged from the tent, picked up sixty
three dead guls and walked off down tn
beach. Hereupon back goes this flock agai
to view this army tent, and sixteen barrel
of buckshot was fed to 'em from abaft tn
tent flaps. Again the boss gull sailed hi
fleet to the woods, and when the lookout
reported the Seattle man departing with tn
dead as before, them bilgcrs hasten ono
more to their blooming doom, and fourtee
barrels Of buckshot,"
GLOW did it all ends' queried tn
thoughtful man. odd the gulls discove
the tricks' :. go,
mot that summer" Bill responded
disguised accents. "You see, these Seatt
pirates was deep learned in the ways
aulls and knowed they could only coul
one, no more and no less, so wot was II
sulls to do? That crew Of nine men goil
I INTO the tent first off was one solitary ma
to the gulls, They counted him waikiki
away after the first volley, and reckoned
safe to 60 back and view the tent all d.
And wy nots No man hadn't been sec
heading for the army tent since, had he! !
J noon Tacoma owned few CORY seagu
feathers on the beach. The flock was
I dead, and the learned bird show businee
/ was broke up for good, as Seattle gul
. wouldn't inhabit Tacoma for love or none
San Francisco Examiner.