davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The age-herald., 1898-03-08
JUVENILE JOKES.

Teacher-"Of course, you understand the difference between liking and loving?' "Pupil-'Yes, marin; I like my father and mother, but I love pie.'
 Willie-"Your papa has only got one leg, hasn't he?' Annie-"Yes." Willie-"Where is the other one?" Annie-"Hush; it's in heaven"
 It was the first time Stewart had seen any very small chickens, and he did not understand that the smooth patches on the sides were wings. When one of the chicks tried to spread his wings Stewart cried: 'See, he's opening his pockets and there isn't anything in them"
 "A child who had been told that "to excavate' meant ito hollow out" was ask ed to form a sentence as an example of it's use "The baby excavates when it is hurt,' said he
 'Little Willie-"Papa, Is it more blessed to give than to receiver" "Papa-"That' s what the Bible tells us and the Bible must be right" Little Willie-"Then I ought to get credit mark for giving Eddie War ner the measles, oughtn't F"
 Ted was invited out to tea with his mother one day, and among other delicacies a saucer of orange gelatin was set before him. It was a new dish to the little fellow. and he eyed it disparagingly a minute, then said, very politely: ''If you please. 'um, thank you. I rather guess you can have 1t back-it keeps wagging so."
The age-herald., 1898-03-08
Superintendent Turner's Circular.

Superintendent Turner's defense, less the tables said to be contained in an appendix, is not wholly satisfactory document He intimates at the outset that the so-called system he defends has been tested along side of system in distant and wealthy states; whereas it has been placed in cone trast with those of Mississippi, Arkansas and Georgia. In Mississippi, state poorer in taxable property, in population, in every respect except negroes, more money by one-half is voted to the common, not the class, schools. In Arkansas. poorer in every respect than Alabama, twice as much money is each year voted to the common schools. In Georgia nearly four times as much money goes, not to high schools, academies or colleges, but to the states common schools. MT. Turner's verbal pyrotechnics over states that ''expend mill lions," over unburdened, more advanced states, are altogether gratuitous, misead- ing and uncalled for. Let him take up Mississippi and Arkansas and test the sys- tenn he is supposed to have led four years by the results achieved in those two states.
 Another interesting little statement of the retiring official is that in which he at tributes the property of the twenty-three exceptional high schools to ''the prosperity and thrift of our public schools" As there are no public schools in any proper or full sense in the rural districts. this remark is clearly meant for the urban sections of the state. To apply 1t to the rural districts would cause even the mules to drop left eye-lid, if 1t did not create general guffaw among those usually non-observant ami mals.
 In summing up the glories of his reign. Superintendent Turner very properly gives much space to encomiums of the college, the normal schools, the agricultural schools, even the institute for the deaf,
The age-herald., 1898-03-08
sIIRscRTPTION RATES.
Wheat Flour Adulterations.

Germany is considering edict against American wheat flour, because of the four that consists of Indian meal, glucose, corn starch. seapstone, fullers earth, as well as the real product of wheat and if Germany should bar out this mixed stuff no one in this country should complain Americans submit to such deliberations. but the wide-awake Germans probably will not
 The extent to which this mixing process is carried on is scarcely known. It is not done as rule by millers, but by wholesale dealers, commission men and brokers at distributive centers; and it is doubtful whether a sack of pure wheat flour can be bought in Alabama today. In Atlanta and Nashville there are numerous mixing mills, and in the former town the business is car ried on so openly and boldly that one of these mills devoted to the adulteration of the staff of life is located in a railroad freight depot. This mill may be said to be at the fountain head of a supply for a considerable territory The people engaged in this base business are not at all alarmed over state legislation requiring adulterated flour to be blanded as such; they say they can put on the sacks that hold the stuff they turn out the word mixed" and it will sell readily, because it can be sold below miller's prices, and to the eye and to the taste it is acceptable. To the stomach and the physical strength, however, it is not. It is not health-giving, life-sustaining food to the extent that pure flour is.
 The honest mllers of the northwest are moving in this matter in earnest, and so is the secretary of agriculture, and so are the members of the interstate commerce committee at Washington, and their joint efforts promise to result in bill that will at least enable buyers to know what kind of stuff they are buying. The favorite proposition consists in a small tax on the milling of flour with the stamping of every package specifically setting forth it's in gredients. Federal penalties and federal analysis and federal supervision are to do the rest. Under this plan unstamped package would be liable to seizure.
 Anything short of rigid measure will not do. The foreign trade of the country in flour has become a considerable item, and domestic buyers still have some rights that dishonest millers and dishonest mer- chants at distributiye centers should be made to respect. Congress should put an end to the sly adulteration of the chief article of food Butter and cheese have received congressional attention, and flour wheat flour is indeed fast becoming an un- known article in some sections of the country. The proposed bill cannot be too stringent too sweeping.
The age-herald., 1898-03-08

softer kinds), the little fchus of black knitted silk usually knotted across the bosom; a picturesque headgear. changing according to the locality, not the fashion (the women of one section having worn the same kind of cap for generations). Some of the prettiest of these are perhaps the little black velvet caps, richly embroidered in beads and set off by stiff bows of rib- bons, with long streamers floating behind worn in the black forest region.
 The village well offers pleasant place of meeting for the young folks. Here the beaux take their stand after church, awaiting the arrival of the maidens. Soon these appear, bringing with them their water pails. sparkling with cleanliness. Their best clothes have been taken off, and they appear in their pettycoats, reaching to their ankles, and some short jacket Happy the rustic belle who is the proud possessor of a bright red or plaid petticoat. She Is then in all her glory.
 The young fellows draw the water, and are very gallant in assisting the girls to raise the pails to their heads (the usual manner of carrying water). but they do not offer to carry 1t; indeed the peasant girl would look in utter surprise any such offer. In the afternoon the young peo- pie often have a dance at the tavern, or they listen to a band playing at beer garden, or perhaps they take a stroll to the woods, they themselves filling the air with music, singing with much fervor some beautiful, dignified song, or with equal en- thusiasm gay volkeslied or Laender. When the mirth is at its height, when one would least expect it, some one surely will begin q know not what it meaneth, that am so sad today" popular folk song, which invariably occurs to the Ger man when he is in his hapiest mood.
 There is so much entering into the life of these women that to be understood and appreciated demands a knowledge of the conditions and surroundings. and true sympathy with those living in these sur roundings. The pleasure and recreations that each season brings with 1t are the results of the daily labor and the circum- stances. If the summer calls them to stroll in the woods. the falling frost to the vne- yards to gather the luscious grapes, the winter will find them at the spinning wheel, enjoying the recital of myths learned from their grandmothers, of tales of the moun- tain spirits that dwell so near them, of the charming waternymph that entices the youth to follow her to her mysterious dwelling. These simple women carry with in them often rare treasure of some poetic conception, and the very simplicity of their language and manner of expression renders them more interesting.
 Music is rarely missing, though few play any instruments except, perhaps, the zither or the accordian; most possess an unceas- ing well of melody in their threats, and these village gatherings are always enjoy able. BERTHA GELDERS
The age-herald., 1898-03-08
CURIOUS ITEMS.
BALL.

Careful measurements prove that the average curvature of the earth is 6.99 inches to the statute mile.
 Water is generally reckoned to be soft when it contains less than 1-5,OO0th part of its weight of mineral ingredients and "hard" when it contains more than 1-4000th
 The highest price ever paid for a poem was 5000 golden crowns, paid to Sannazaro by the citizens of Venice for his eulogy on their city-a poem of six lines only.
 Halibut and holibut are names as old as the English language But" signifies n flat fish and the prefix refers to the deep and wide holes in which the fish is found.
 The surface of the sea is estimated at 150, 900 square miles, taking the whole surface of the globe at 197 100000, and its greatest depth supposedly equals the height of the highest mountain, or four miles.
 The first and sixth days of January, the 29th of September and the 18th of March, have been celebrated as Christmas day; and 1t was not until the middle of the fourth century that the church council fixed the date as at present.
 The owls wise look Is the result of a physiological oddity, his eyes being fixed immovable in their sockets, so whenever he passes his eyes from one object to another he must move his head.
 In former days-in coffee houses-a box was attached to the wall, shaped like the usual aims or collection boxes of today, and over 1t was the legend "To Insure Promptness" This in course of time was rendered by the initials T. l. P. and hence the modern tip"
The age-herald., 1898-03-08
AT LAhIPLIGHT TIME.

There is a tendency to trim the sides of the front breadth in evening dresses, or 10 give the effect of long princess tunic in the beaded jet trimming and fringes now so much in vogue. Lace shawls are sought after for draping the front of skirts en tablier and small lace points are drapAd at the back of a low bodice with the figure showing through.
 We are promised sandal shoes for the dances the coming season. A dancing shoe should support the ankle; if the strap at the back is nigh all the better, as it will allow of a still firmer grip. The soles should be thin and pliaible as paper, and the heels decidedly Louis Quinze, but moderately high.
 On a yellow satin evening gown, included in a recent trous5eau. pretty bodice was arranged, draped in front with white chif- fon over which an applique of yelbowdsh Brussels lace was laid Arranged in similar fashion. an applique of lace on chiffon Is seen frequently the shoulder capes Of evening cloaks, and on the many dainty vests of gauge and mousseline de sode which are seen this season in conjunction with Russian coats, dn velvet and fur, or even the most wintfy gowns.
 New as a trimming for evening gowns are those exquisite trails or artificial How CTS which are actually laad as flatly as may be on the silk or satin, and then care- fully stitched on to the fabric in such a way that they have all the appearance of raised applique of flowers in coiored crepe de chine. As often not the fow- CTS are arranged with jeweied centers. diamond dew drops shining out from among the leaves in the most natural mann ner possible.
 An evening dress, which was joy to the eye was of black, embroidered in very deep scollops reaching almost to the hem of gold threads and jet spangles. Beneath these scoliops were many frillngs of black tuile. The bodice was embroidered to match and outlined with black tulle much gathered, fastened at one side with rosette of pale-blue ribbon, gold sa-oon and a bunch of white gardenias and ivy leaves hanging to the knees. and round the waist was a belt of gold galoon.
The age-herald., 1898-03-08
MEN AND THEIR FINGERS.

Most Europeans and Americans wear their flngernails in Albert shape, slightly polished There have been exceptions to this general rule. Townsend, the renowned Hebraist, had fingernails which were nat uraliy broader than those of ordinary men and he wore them long, making them. per- haps. memorandum books On them hd would inscribe as many Hebrew roots as they would permit and commit the words to memory at odd moments.
 Jerome Cardan, the celebrated naturilist. mathematician, physician and phflQsepher of the sixteenth century, man of rars mental attachments, counted his largo fngernails one of the four eminent gifts bestowed on him which distinguished him. from other men. By means of his nails he foretold coming events, each black mark. white scar or tiny speck holding cabaiistio meaning for him.
 Marigny cultivated his fingernails until they assumed extraordinary dimensions. Everybody whom i,e regarded with partic. ular favor he addressed as "oh, illustrisus of my nailp' He explained this by saying his friends were so few their names could be inscribed on ars nails Also, that thet were never absent from his thoushts-H was as though he cArried their portra1ti inscribed on his ingernails. always within his line of vision.
The age-herald., 1898-03-08
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.

From the Chicago News.
 A fast mule often has loose hind leg. When a fireman works the hose 1t is only in play.
 Muscular inactivity is the parent of much ill-health.
 The bank -wrecker may be bailed out, but the bank usually sinks.
 The man in a folding-bed may always ex- pect something to turn up
 The snare of a drum is not as dangerous as that of the willy drummer. All some men want Is half chance, but the majority prefer the whole.
 The iandlady may not care for gossip, but she likes a houseful of roomers
 Although truth is stranger than fiction to many people. they don't seem to care for an introduction
 Perhaps all things come to him who waits. but there are many things not worth waiting for.
The age-herald., 1898-03-08
ETCHINGS FROM
 CURRENT TOPICS

Wherever Mir. Bryan went during the past week. whether to town, village or city, he was greeted with ovations. exceed- ing in numbers and enthusiasm those gen. erally accorded politicians and staesmen. man without official political position. Mir. Bryan commands the loyal support and faithful adherence of a greater num- Der of his fellowmen than any other Amer ican of his generation.
 His journey through this section of the south is proving a revelation both to his friends and to his enemies.
 The genuineness of MT. Bryan, of neces- sity, appeals to every man and woman who has the good fortune to hear him speak, whether they agree or disagree with his political tenets of his financial policy.
 There is such an utter absence of dema- gogy in his speech and bearing that one loses sight of the fact that he is the most conspicuous democratic candidate for the next presidential nomination. His manner, when he speaks, is so simple, so thoroughly unaffected, that all the memory of one of the most exciting presidential campaigns is lost sight of and the American citizen who loves his fellowmen-only Is in vital evidence
 MT. Bryan's lack of every degree of af- fectation is one of the potent factors which go to make up his remarkable personal magnetism.
 MT. Bryan has come to the south, not as an orator, to charm with polished, we'll rounded phrases; not to fascinate with a pyrotechnic display of rhetoric, nor to arouse the passions of men at this time, when reason should control the people He comes bringing message to the south which means hope and relief to the masses who have grown weary with the limita- tions of humiliating poverty.
 He brings a truth in simple words, and from all quarters-from the field, the mines, the cottage and the mansion-men and wo- men eagerly hasten to hear the glad tid- ings of another and better time.
 
 When Mr. Bryan visited the south before and delivered number of his brilliant orations, his opponents gravely shook their heads and pronounced him "only an ora tor; a speechmaker," and unequal to the serious responsibilities that pertain to the
 
 peoplel When the campaign ragged with lurid fury from one end of the republic to the other, and Mr. Bryan spoke night and day, never wearying, never Tagging, his opponents charged him with being dan gerously and hopeessly wordy and fluent. His opponents say this no longer. They must recognize that he makes arguments for his cause so clear and distinct that a child can comprehend and appreciate the great issues at stake, yet the critics still are not content. The opposers of MT. Bryan's policies have no intention of being satisfied with him, no matter whether he crates or whether he argues.
 But the great mass of people, "the hew- CTS of wood and drawers of water" figu- ratively speaking, who are worn and tired with the burdens that have come to them through an iniquitous financial system, are ready and eager to hear the message that MT. Bryan brings, whether told in the fer vent language of oratory or in the simple argument that no financier can refute.
 MT. Bryan is Americas most distin- guished private citizen. BALL.
The age-herald., 1898-03-08
DON'T.

Don't possess feet size larger than the shoes you wear.
 Don't lose the thread of your story when spinning yarn.
 Don't spend too much money in trying to get something for nothing.
 Don't heap coals of fire upon an enemy's head until you burn your fingers. i Don't think every woman who looks in . mirror is hopelessly lost in admiration.
 Don't imagine every man who figures on marrying an heiress is a born mathema- tiGan.
 Don't add insult to injury by apologizing to a pretty girl after stealing a kiss from her.
 Don't think a girl regrets the loss of her good name when it Is replaced with that ofsa nice young man.
The age-herald., 1898-03-08
ARRANGEMENT COMMITTEE
Has Been Announced by Dr. ]. s. Gillespy-WiIl
 Meet This Morning.

As authorized by the county executive committee of the democratic party last Saturday, pr. J. s. Gillespy, chairman of the committee, has announced the arrange ment committee to carry out the plan for holding the primary as adopted by the committee. The committee consists of G.. W. Brown of Pratt City, B. A. Thompson of Birmingham, J. B. Gibson of Woodlawn, D. R. Copeland of Jonesville, and H. R. Dill of East Lake.
 A call has been issued for this commit tee to meet at pr. Gillespy's office at o'clock this morning for the purpose of organizing and proceeding with the busi- ness before them, getting the candidates lists of election managers and making the selections from them and all other usual preliminaries which are to be arranged.
The age-herald., 1898-03-08
spoilers.

Japan seems to be edging around to get into the Cuban trouble She had seven sailors on the Maine, and she wants to deaths. Japan has handy, up-to-date navy, and if she should attempt to square things by seizing the Philippines about the time we take in Cuba, Spain would begin to think her fighting days were over.
The age-herald., 1898-03-08

The European holders of American secur- ities do not seem to be scared by Weyler's buster and Madrid's bluffs. They will send to this country this week nearly seven mill lions of gold. but no securities. They pre- fer American securities to gold.
The age-herald., 1898-03-08
OPTIMISM.

By Herbert Hammond.
 'srhe king is deadi Long live the kingls The past holds no such precious thine. That we should pain or trouble boEyoWb And fail to greet the bright tomorrow Because our golden yesterday r Was glad with blossoms bright of NAV Shall we enjoy the fruit the less, That marks the autumn's glad care1s5 And if to us each closing door,
 But opens the way to something more If every added phase of life,
 With some new. throbbins Joy 6 rife. VIII you believe. when death shall como To stiil the lips. the heart beuumb. There are no heights of qander veal. Esfarnity may yet reyeal5
The age-herald., 1898-03-08

The country papers that do not like the Loud bill may as well prepare for another struggle in the next congress. MT. Loud proposes ot fight it out while he stays in congress. and he feels sure he should be sent back once more
The age-herald., 1898-03-08

Is it possible that the senate proposes to turn down MT. Mark Hanna's bosom friend, political chum and warm favorite, Henry Demass, of New Orleans.
The age-herald., 1898-03-08

It would seem that Hugh H. Hanna of Indianapolis, the driver of the real band wagon of national honor is only inter ested in the rate of interest that might be charged on a bond deal
The age-herald., 1898-03-08

Up north they feel so grateful to Fitzhugh Lee that they do not know whether it would be best to make him a brigadier- general in the regular army or reserve him to serve as United States senator from Virginia.
The age-herald., 1898-03-08

Starving Cubans will be fed from Amerl- can charity. though it may not please few Spanish cut-throats, whose idea of hu- manity is murder, rapine and arson.
The age-herald., 1898-03-08

Dr. Parkhurst says there is in Washing sponsibilty." It is to be hoped this con
The age-herald., 1898-03-08

scousness does not relate to the bargains Mir. Mark Hanna made with the Wall street syndicate of campaign subscribers.
The age-herald., 1898-03-08

The great trouble with the common school system in Alabama is that the schools are entirely too common.
The age-herald., 1898-03-08

Tom Reed will not be able to hold down congress when the report from the board of inquiry Is made public.
The age-herald., 1898-03-08

If Miles will stay in the background, much will be forgiven, though not all his idiotic acts of vanity will be forgotten.
The age-herald., 1898-03-08

The present calm in the Georgia guberna- torial race may be but the precursor of another outburst of letters and cranks.
The age-herald., 1898-03-08

Let congress take up the subject of flour adulteration, pending the report of the naval court of inquiry.
The age-herald., 1898-03-08

With a few more bluffs, Spain will soon have created the impression that 1t is nation of towards
The age-herald., 1898-03-08

Anna Held was disappointment in Geor- gla She was not so bad as they expected.
The age-herald., 1898-03-08

Gen. Lees offense at Havana consisted oi his being loyal American.
The age-herald., 1898-03-08

While there may be cries of peace, peace peace, the government continues in it' preparations for war.
The age-herald., 1898-03-08

Mark will no doubt be willing to apolo- gize on a cash basis.
The age-herald., 1898-03-08

Perhaps Spain does not like the color of Uncle Sam's hand.
The age-herald., 1898-03-08

Music is rarely missing, though few play any instruments except, perhaps, the zither or the accordian; most possess an unceas- ing well of melody in their threats, and these village gatherings are always enjoy- able BERTHA GELDERS.
The age-herald., 1898-03-08

Perhaps all things come to him who waits, but there are many things not worth waiting for.
The age-herald., 1898-03-08

The iandlady may not care for gossip, but she likes houseful of roomers.