The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1898-02-19
THE GEORGIA HUMORIST
PHILOSOPHER is BEsET WITH MORE
TRiBUIATlONS.
Narrowly Escapes misunderstanding
West ON His Lecturing Tour---The Bar
tow Man Has Many Ups and Downs---
He Visits vicksburg.


SHREVEPORT, Lat was q lovely
train-that fast mail from Atlanta ia
Neutrality-suspicious. all new and bright
and clean, and we made the run of liz
miles IN five hours. The wheels seem.
ed to slide and glide along the rails al
if moving upon ice; not q jar or shoch
and all went serene until we neared
Opelika, when suddenly there was q
terrific crash at my window and the
large plate glass was shattered by
stone that some fiend had thrown with
force and violence. A second later
yes, fraction of a secondhand ]
would have received the blow in my
face. The broken glass was shattered
over me and in my face, and sharp
fragment stuck in my finger. Kind
fate or Providence protected me, for ]
had no accident policy. But I con.
slider myself the injured person
and had q mind to telegraph Gov.
ernor Johnston to call out the militia,
for we had crossed the Alabama
line. When we reached the town oul
conductor put detectives on track Of
the rascals, and I hope they will catch
them. When 1 got to Meridian it was
night again and in going to the hotel
I found the pavement torn up part OF
the way and before I was aware of any
impeachment, I stumbled against an
abrupt rise and fell far and wide on
the unfeeling brick. 1t seemed to me
couldent stop falling and my corpo
rosity spread out in horizontal atti
tude. I lost my cane and spectacles,
but kind-hearted man ran out of his
store and helped me up and we found
them. You are the third man that has
tripped up there tonight and the city
council ought to have lamp and o
watchman here. I skinned my knee.
pan and got my best clothes all dirty,
and once more consider myself
the injured person, for I still had
no accident policy. Today, when
our train stopped at Vicksburg, 9
lot of preachers got aboard on thei,
way to the synod and some of the
nice ladies of the town came down tt
meet some lady friends on the train
It took them good while to exchang,
salutations and kiss goodbye al
around, and suddenly the train moved
off and gradually gained speed of mo
ton and the nice ladies ran hastily t.
the door and down the steps and mad,
leap for the platform. ] never saw
such a spread of feminine forms and
garments in my life. They both fell
violently forward face downward
with all four of their limbs extended
and I know the shock must have
broken every stay in their corsets. II
grieved me, for I know they are hurt
but the train never stopped to see, fol
the conductor supposed those ladies
were passengers and not visitors ant
had gone forward to look after othe
matters. But I am obliged to con
slider those ladies the injured
persons. It won't do for ladie
or old men to leap from a moving
train. When we crossed the grea
Mississippi river and had resumed on
journey the train stopped to take on Z,
young couple who were clipping from
their parents and were going to ge
married as soon as they reached tn
first courthouse town. They ha,
lodged the old people by crossing tn
river in skiff and so when the trail
reached the town the young man hun
ried to the clerk and got licens
while our train waited for him. The
| didn't know where to find preacher
but there were forty or fifty abosr
our train and kind friends suggeste
that they be married in the parlor ca
that was attached. So they chose on
Jimmy Hillhouse, who used to preac
in Gainesville, but is now located
Vicksburg. He got Rev. Jimm
Jones to assist him and while. th
train was going thirty miles an hot
the happy couple were joined togeths
in the holy bonds of matrimony. TIL
two Jimmies kissed the fair youn
bride and when we met the eastboun
train the couple boarded 1t and n
turned to their anxious parents. Their
WAS nothing in the way of their MARI
age save their youth, for the youn
man is Of good habits and good family
and the girl is as sweet as . pink.
But these preachers are bright an
Jolly set. They kept us laughing a
She way to Monroe, where the syno
meets. Going to the chr---cch Co., Is
their greatest recreation.
| But I am tired tonight, for I hay
travelled 400 miles today and must sto
for the present.-BML ARP, in Atlant
Constitution.