The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1898-02-17
OLD oHOW-DO-I-KNOW''
Makes an Interesting Scene in the
District Attorneys Office.

A middle aged man, perhaps from
Missouri" drifted into the government
building today and inquired for the
United States ledge The venerable
visitor was directed to the office of the
clerk where it was discovered he had
some business with the district attOr-
ney, to whose Office he was taken.
L ELAN bert, district attorney, and H.
J. Bone, his assistant, We're in confer
ence with c. E. Elliott of Wellington on
some legal matters when the be-whis-
kered old gentleman walked in upon
them, not deigning to knock at the door
which was adorned with big letters
conveying the information that the
room was private"
The officials turned to their visitor
but before they could say a word, he
exclaimed:
BE you the United States attor-
ney?''
Mr.. Bone said:
Mr.. Lambert there" pointing to the
head of the department.
How do I knoW?'' replied the WISH
tor.
This came so suddenly and withaI so
innocently that Mr.. Lambert could not
restrain a smile.
Air ye the attorney?'' continued the
visitor. addressing Mr.. Lambert.
I am supposed to be-" said Mr..
Lambert.
How do I know said the stranger
as. suddenly as before.
This nonplussed the gentlemen who
began to suspect a crank
Mr. Elliott pointed to a faded grip the
old man had placed between his feet
on the floor and called Mr.. Bones at
tention to it. The assistant attorney
said falteringly to the visitor:
rs there something we can do for
you?"
I would like to know if you are the
attorney"
Yes SIR said Mr.. Lambert.
How do know?'' came from the old
man again.
Mr.. Lambert always tells the truth
and you should not question his verac-
ity,' said Mr.. Bone.
Mr.. Bone is right The gentleman
over there is the attorney and will at
tend to your wants said Mr.. Elliott.
How do I knOw?" said the old man
as he gave his eyes a roll
We'll, he draws the salary Of the
position said Mr.. Bone.
How do T.
Because we tell you So" shouted
Bone and Elliott angrily in chorus.
Bone was behind the old man and he
made a sign to Lambert that he would
open the door and put him out before
he could do or say anything.
Lambert pointed to the grip and
threw up his hands, saying;
'Oh no, Harry; take no chances"
By this time, Elliott who has been
in Seventh district congressional con-
VentionS and numerous postoffice fights
and border wars, walked across the
room to the old man, saying, as he
placed his hand on his shoulder:
That man is the @"
Just at that moment Bone half-whis-
tied through his lips:
'ChOut, Elliott" and the man from
Wellington jumped six feet in the air,
$50 says BOne), and lodged around the
desk by Lamberts side.
THAT fool is crazy whispered Lam
bert.
'I-I-I-th-thi-think so to-oo," muir
INJURED Elliott.
The old man had been gazing around
the room and every time he turned his
head Bone, Lambert and Elliott turned
to watch him.
Say said the old man sharply look
ing at Lambert:
"Have you your commission as attor-
ney."
I have it at home in Emporia," re-
piled Lambert, but not here
Say" said the old man turning sud
denly around to Bone: Mister as
sistant, have you a commission which
explains. that you are what you pre-
tend to be-
Yes SIR said Bone firmly
f'Show it to me-" said the visitor
ct is a my hotel" said Mr. Bone.
well, you fellows are impOsters' -
said the old man gingerIy taking up his
grip, and starting towards the door.
7 had some business with the United
States attorney but if there is none in
this bildin' I'll git out" and the old