Mesa free press., 1898-06-24
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Cnat.-Puck.
Fair Visitor-What lovely parrot
| (To parrot) Polly want a cracker? Pol.
~ (cautiously)-Did you make it your
self?-Truth.
| The Rule.-The Able Editor (ironical.
ly)-Is this poetry? Didn't
/ begin each line with capital letter?
Boston Traveller.
Little Clarence-Pa, what Is the DIFF.
ference between firmness and obstin-
acy? Mr.. Callipers Merely q matter
of sex, my son.-Puck.
George, father has failed" "That's
Just like him! ] told you all along.
darling, that he was going to do all he
could to keep us from marrying."-Tit.
Bits.
He (theatrically)-Yod have refused
mel. Tomorrow I go to seek my for
tune in the Klondike. She-May I have
the refusal of you when you return?-
Puck.
Are you the boss of the house?" in
quired the man at the door. "No; Pm
only the boss understudy," was the
much-married mans answer.-Yonkers
Statesman.
Variable Stranger lin Texas)-How
long do you fellows work at stretch
CowbOy-Well, 1t depends a good deal
on how easy de Teller dies. Dey're
variable.
'They say poor Clara consulted the
stars before marrying him." "And
what was the result?'' ''They ali gave
him a good character, except one
vaudeville star" Life.
General Recruit Surveying the ball
room)-I think your ladies would make
excellent soldiers. Van Teel- Why so?
General Recruit-They display so much
INSTRUMENTATION Life.
Doctor, who was that man that
screeched and. yowled so loud when
you were pulling his toothY 'That
was a Christian Science friend Of
mine."-Chicago Tribune.
Laura-When Bob proposed last
night, did you know what was comingi
Lucretia-No; didn't know papa was
within hearing; neither did Bob. Poor
Bob!-Yonkers Statesman.
Mrs. Booser Ito Mr.. B.)-Why, you
disgraceful creature, you're never so
Der! Mr.. BoOser-No? Mus have been
'toxicated when / married you, an not
'ponsible for actions Fun.
Mistress (severely)-If such q thina
occurs again, Norah, shall have to get
another servant. Norah-I wish yez
wud-there's easily enough worruk for
two av us.-Boston Traveller.
She-Here is such a pretty story IN
the paper about how Edison came to
marry. Hell wish some of these bright
Journalists would explain how came
to marry. Indianapolis Journal.
Chollie -Er-aw-I do believe good
deal In this-aw- hewedity theowy.
Miss Smart-Your own case shows It.
You would never have been rich If your
father had not been so.-Indianapolis
Journal.
Mr.. Millyuns (briskly)-Want my
daughter, Ell? Well, how much are you
worth? Money talks, you know. Bob
Hardup (cheerfully)- / know; but
I'd be willing to let her do most of the
talking.-Punch.
Misunderstanding Character-Wot's
ther time, guv'nor? Mr.. Bluff Uniting
him over the head)-It's just struck
one! Misunderstanding Character
(groaningly)-I 'ope your watch amt
a repeaterIHt-Bits.
A Misinterpretation. -Hair-cutter Ito
parent Shall give your boy bang
on his forehead, sir? Parent (busily)-
Yes; and If that doesn't quiet him, give
him one in the neck. He's been warned
not to fdget In the BARRIERS chair
Judge.
Fuddy-Do you really think that
Baskers cares much for his wife? Dud-
dy-Cares for her? He dotes on her.
Scores Of times I've known him to make
faces for his wife when she had to
take nasty -tasttng medicine. Boston
Transcript.
II observe in the public prints" said
the scientific boarder, "that a whales
tongue sometimes yields ton of OIL"
IF the whale Is as oily-tongued as
that" said the cheerfulidiot, mo won-
der Jonah was taken in."-Indianapo-
lis Journal.
20 don't worry about such trifles,"
said the New York girl. "Just keep q
stiff upper lip and you'll come out all
right" But" replied her Boston
cousin, ut Is physical impossibility
for me to maintain superior labial rig
idity.-Chicago News.
Still Has sFaith.-"Mrs. Higgins ie
still wildly in love with her husband"
Does she put the buttons on his shirts
for him yetT "No, but he told her he
sat up all night playing cards without
any stakes-and she believes him.
Pittsburg onicle-Telegraph.
Miss Wearwell-Who Is that hand
some gentleman across the room? He
has been looking STEADILY at mo almost