The evening times., 1898-08-09
NIB. DooLEY's DESIRE.
He Yearns to BE With Gen. Miles,
Moonlight Excursion.
0rom the ChicaRo Jourual)

VIom JOurnalJ
Dear. oh, dear, said Mr.. Dooley, I'D
give five dollarsan' I'd kill a man fr
three-if I was out iv this Sixth wa-ard
tonight an down with Ginra Miles gran
picnic an moonlight excursion in Porther
Ricky. 'Tis no comfort in bein' a cow'rd
whin ye think iv thin br-rave la-ads
facin' death be suff1cation in bokays an
dyin' iv waltzin' with tn pretty girls iv
Porther Ricky.
I dinnaw whether Gin'ral Miles picked
out tn job or whether twas picked out
f'r him. But anyhow, whin he got to
Sandago de Cuba an looked ar-round
him, he says TO his frind. Gin'ral Shafter:
'Gin'ral,' says he. We have done well SO
far he says. ''Tis not fr me to take
tn Iorls frim tn steamin' brow iv thrue
hero he says. 1 lave you here he says.
fr to complete tn victhry ye have so
nobly begun he says. 'F'r you,' he says.
til wallop in tn eye from tn news
paper rayporther. tn Sr-round robbins an
III sunsthroke,' he says, f'r me III hard
ship iv tn battlefield, tn late dinner, IN
theayter party an tn sickenin poiky,
he says Gather he says. TIL fruits iv
ye'er bravery. he says. 'Rayturn, ne
says, to ye'er native land an rayeeive
amy gratichood TIL Sicrety iv War can
spare fir m his own family he says +
me- he says. there Is no way out
to turin me back upon this festive scene,
he says, an go where Jooty calls me, ne
saws. .Ordherly.' he says. put a bottle on
tn ice an see that me goold pants that l
wear with tn pale blue vest with IN
di'mon' buttons is irned out, he says
An with a haggard face he walked
aboord tn excursion steamer an wint
away.
I'D hate 10 tell ye iv tn thrles ivath'
expedition. Hinnissy. Whin IN p.ch'c
eot as far as Punch. on tn sou:hera
coast of Porther Ricky. Gin RAJ Mles
xazes out an SAYS he: This looks like &
good place to hang IN ha:nmickS. an
have lunch says he. 'For-wlrd oraVe
men. saws he. where We see me di mon
sparkle.' saws he. FORWARD an "lahI
til crokay ar-rches iv our beloved CUR
thry. he says An in they went like IN
threp.d warryors that they ar-re- On IN
beach they was met be diiigaaon IT III
tn town of Punch con-stsiin' " IN MAY
or. tn common council. tn po'is an hre
de,nartments' tn Gr-rand Army iv the
Raypublic. an prominent citizens IN car
redges. Gin'ral Miles maxim hasty
rielet, advanced onflinch.ngly 20 meet
thin. Gentlemen" says he. what can
I do f'r ye?' he says. We come. says
| TN. chairman " tn comfy. f- to offer ye.'
! he says 'th' r-run iv tn town II" saws
| We have held out he says. as long a
we cud.' he says. But he says. they 50
| a limit to human endurance he says.
we can Withstand We 10 longer. ne
saws. We surrinder. Take US prisoners
| an. rayceive US into ye'er gloryous an
werl-fed raypub,ic' ne SAYS 'Br-rave
| men, says Gin'ral Miles. I congratulate e
ye.' he says 'on tn heeroism iv ye'er
| definse' he says. 'Ye stuck manf'f.- %
! ye'er colors whativer they ARE re
| saws 4 On'y wonSfher that We wal d
| FIR me to come beTsure sur inder n he
/ says weiccme ye into IN u-ion he
| says I don't know how IN union'u feel
about It. but that's no business " ninA'
| he SAYS 'Ye WIFI get reer wur-rk'n'
; cards firm tn waik'n' diligate.' he says
AN ye'll be entitled no says. to pay
ye'er share iv tn taxes an 10 live awhile 9
an die whin we get r-ready' he says jus
tn same as II We was bor-rn at home he
says. Il don't know tn names iv We.
but I'll call We all Casey fr short he
says Put ye'er 6olavs n TIL hammick >
he says. AN ray'urn TO Punch he saws
AN freeze sometfin' f'r me- he SAYS. rr
me thrawt Is parched with tn labor= iy
tn day. he says. Tn r-rest " tn
avenin' was spint In darc:n' mrsie.. an
boat r-ridin'. an an inj'yab,e time was
had
'-Th' mex day tn army moved on Punch
an Gin'ral Miles marched into tn ILL.,
fated city, preceded by flower girls
sthrewin' r-roses an garanyums befurs
him. In tn afthernoon they was a lawn
tinnis party an at night tn gin-ral at
tinded banket at tn Gran Palace Ho-
tel. At midnight he was serenaded be tn,
Raymimber tn Maine Banjo an Mando-
lin Club. TIL entire popylace attinded.
with pork chops in their buttonholes to
show their pathreetism. Th' mex day.
afther breakfastin' with Mayor Casey. he
set out on his weary march over tn
r-rough. fiower-strewn paths rr San
Joon. He has been In gr-reat purl from
witherin' fire iv bokays. an he has mef
an overpowered some iv tn mos savage
| orators in Porther Ricky. but whin las
heerd Nv him he had pitched his tents am
ice-cream freezers near tn innings wall.
an was grajuliy silencin' thin with proc
lamations."
They'll kill him with kindness IL he
don't look out." said Mr.. Hennessy. 80
81 dinnaw about that" said Mr. Dooley.
| ''but know this, that there's tn MAXIM
iv gr-reat statesmen In Porther Ricky. 4
proud people that can switch as quick as
thin la-ads have nawthin' to learn In tn
way iv what Hogan calls tn signs iv
u