New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1898-09-07
THE TALK or THE DAY.

Gadzooks-what's become Of Biueblood. who
used TO bore everybody by talking about his an
cestry?
Zounds-Oh. he got married year or so ago. and
now he is boring everybody BY talking about his
posterity.
This IS the smokng-car. mednm. said inc con-
ductor OF the suburban train =, 49,.
You'd better put your whole city In II, then;
she returned But Of nevei , ,ny
amoke nuisance here-(Chicago Post.
when was n young man." said tho hardened
old cynic II used DO afraid that was not brill
liant enough to become famous
And now7' asked n listener.
Now" he replied. Il have decided that am
not stupid enough"
Muldoon-An so yer fr'nd Casey shtood by an
saw Brannlgau CIV you thot tirribe balm widout
DuccY tmournfulyl~He did. He yllled out go in
ana ~h Puc hs an " RaycosRion wuSont i'm
thervintion wuz all OF eot-from Casey.-CPuck
smlth-IIow did Jones get the reputation OF being
n brilliant conversntionalist?
Brown--Ry listening respectfully 10 bores.
A Non,Trcating club has just been formed In
Chicago the members OF which pledge themselves
not to treat any body. Tn short time says THE
Chicago Tribune chapters will exist in every
large city rom Maine to California Five thou
sand buttons and cards issued the first few
'N''
ordered and the demand at present Is greater than
the supply. The organizers and promoters or the
club are some OF the general and travelling pas
sengcr agents located at Chicago, the chief among
them being Elliott T. Monet. general Western pas
sengor agent OF tho Ncw-York ontario and West
crn Railroad and president Of the American As
ISOLATION OF Travelling Passenger Agents" Tho
treating business" says Mr.. Monet has got TO
stop. The men OF our profession know every Tom
Dick and Harry from the Atlantic to the Pacific.
We go Into n place to get drink. Before we can
leave we have had half a dozen more drinks
that We either have had to take treat or pay
for others. It has got be such nuisance that n
remedy had 10 be found and fsom the immense
popularity of our scheme | believe We have struck
tho right thing.
An Undutful Nephew.-"Say. pa, lemme take
your cyclometer. won't you?'
+ Certainly not. What do you want II for?'
Aunt James got hay fever. an want TO see II
she can't break tn sneezn' record. "-(Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
. A missionary journal notes some signs OF progress
I'm China. Chinese merchants are educating their
sons In English schools at expense OF s. a
month. The barrow gives way 10 the bicycle and
the sedan chair to tho carriage and pair The anti
foot-bindng movement and the Chinese Ladies'
School also Indicate the great change which is
going on In China.
-Inmcntioned Heroism.-"And you took part In the
destruction of Cerveras fleet? How glorious to
I'm the list OF heroes. them
mo ma'am wasn't one OF the heroes. I was
down in the stokehole. sheddn' seven gallons Of
preparation "-(Chicago Tribune.
TIL she tells you.
Diggs-Well. isn't that satisfaction
Jlggs-Ah. but she tells you.
Onsets-Cobwigger-It'l be n great thing for
Cuba when inaugurate new systems and stamp
nut the yellow fever forever.
Merritt guess II won't make much difference In
the death rate. for will probably introduce the
bicycle and the trolley.-(Judge
The last report Of the Kitchen Committee OF tho
British House Of Commons shows that during the
year previous 10000 luncheons. II 100 dinners and
81 IOJ teas were furnished to members
Only One Of a Knd.-"Why do you think he ia
such a remarkable man.
Hes the only one ever knew who had nerve
enough 10 make he responses In the marriage
service loud enough that any could hear
him. "-<ChicaGo Post