The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1898-02-27
POETRY WEEDS BUSINESS.
NOW THE HANDMALD
OF COMMERCE.

r..a..uen,s wares EHtoiied In UndyinG versa
where tie who Runs May Rend-subiimo
flights OF Fancy OF tho Inventor OF . Pert
u.rt-.u Dei,cacy whe IL His Own Poet.
This is the ngo of pocsy. Business ana art 10
hama in hand. Every wnyside rock sings in
rhythmic measures the virtues OF Buneo's Bill
TONS Bolnses, and the once bald and Improbable
,cncc delights the eye with lyric praises OF
wamble's Warranted Wnshtubs. The street
ar and elevated trains, the roofs and walls of
,rndinss. tho pavement under foot, and the
.ouing overhead, boast in all the metres known
IN literature tho superior qualities OF distinctly
,pccItcd soups. cough drops, dress braids, fancy
drinks. bicycles. razors. h%airpins, folding beds,
,rd corn eradicators. No struggling poet need
now pawn his last shirt to buy pen and ink. All
bo need do is to turn his divine afilatus to the
,xtolling Of somebody's wares, and he may feed
on the fat OF the land.
Foremost, II not first thus to encourage
ro.try was Kinks. 1t is not necessary here to go
into the biography Of Kinks. Suffice 1t to say
that the worlds debt to him lies in the fact that
he contrivod. invented. and brought into being
.ncN combination edible, which ho christened
uinks's Boiled Buns with Jamaica Sauce, and
,ipnslizcd its appearance by such a burst OF
poetry, at once epic. lyric. and dramatic. as had
no, hitherto been seen on the advertising boards
~ this part OF the world. Although the author
,hip or the verse is not indicated by signature,
and although the name Of Kinks Is as yet found
in no textbook of American literature. 1t Is said
on good authority that the inventor OF the port.
manteau delicacy himself Is the author OF this
lofty fight, the first to appear on this subject.
Above 1t, on the signboard. is q picture OF the
bun. which looks like an over-ripe cucumber,
and In one corner a can. presumably containing
the Jamaica sauce. This is tho legend. stand
ing foursquare to all the winds that blow:
The French for the ientii = preference show;
The pea doth reign across the German RhinoI ,
Put the lest in America is. as we Know.
uinks's Boiled Buns with Jamaica Sauce. nne.
This served as tho foundation for the entire
lofty superstructure which came afterward.
Some persons of q hypercritical tendency COM
nlained that the lines lacked homogeneity. The
nrst line rollicked. while the second. excellent in
Its ALTERATION of reign I" and Rhine moved
in a stately measure. Besides, they said, the
adjective at the conclusion Of the verso was
abrupt, not to say ejaculatory.
But, don't you see,'' cried Kinks. that has
to be there to make the rhyme. Remember the
words of the great poet. Take care Of the sound.
and the sense will take care Of ITSELF Tho SEN
timent is there and that's all that's necessary"
Thus was criticism silenced, but Kinks lent
ear to the suggestion that the terminal line
should be formed Of the name Of his edible. Tho
second production followed close upon the first:
when housewife. wearied with work. Away
Finds dust and dirt have come to stay
And pans and kettles have lost their gloss
She needs Hinks's Boiled Buns with Jamaica sauce.
This verse seems to show a Swinburnian, tend-
encyi 1t was received With immense applause,
verse with the following happy result:
The picnic party Is happy and free.
with tabiecloth spread on soft. yielding moss.
How joyful they all do feel to see
RnilpI Hnna Al AmAtNA SAnCAI
Having proved himself a master Of the heroic.
domestic. and pastoral styles, the ,inventorpoet
next turned his attention to the historical
method Oh A sxterb long Sns, bS,ih aa ne ss aug ~ ope q gem
thousands OF elevated trains:
Old Nero fed on peacocks' wings
And skylarks' brains. nor cared q toss
AS Hlnks's Eolled Buns with Jamaica sauce.
BY this time. such is the ingrained love of
sweetness and light characteristic of the Amer-
can people. me demInd tor the , aeiiea &c naa Pc oe,
entire endeavors to the production OF Boiled
Buns. leaving to Others the production of the
accompanying verse. Private offers we're sent
out 10 various poets of note, and so tempting
were the rewards offered that hundreds of re-
plies were received. This brought about a de.
plorable change in the quality OF the verse. the
majestic beauty OF the original Kinks poetry
being by no means compensated for by the
facility and tripping swing Of these later pro-
auctions. One of the first accepted offerings
was from Mr.. John Breastbone Squawker. whose
toAts " 40 " ~ bho oAo ~ W ooS
road literature about Christmas. the appro-
p%riateress OF which can be seen at once:
Now. you dear old Santa Claus
What will you to me bring?
Hinks's Boiled Buns with Jamaica Sauce
Would be the proper thing.
Inspired to rivalry by his fellow bard, ]. Hay
rick Whangs. the eminent humorist of Yonkers
and the surrounding country, produced this
effort for which it is said he received the UNI
precedented reward of ST a word, with 80 bonus
Tor every punctuation mark:
Hold Stop the car. l have read this ad.
And miss one thing I thought l had
~ bring II, not. she will be cross:
HlnKss Boiled Buns with Jamaica Sauce.
Pention hard cash, in this arena. Mr.. Wishard
Rotson Glider poured forth his soul In this
torrent of music:
When looking around for something good,
Some savory. nourishing kind OF food
Tnai mas has not Ro particle, Ine OF drSss.
And Mr.. Bill Summer. the Weeping Willow of
Park row. put forth this pathetic blossom:
When grandfather's hair Is thin and gray,
And grandfather's teeth have dropped away.
Aud grandfathers whiskers are fringed with moss.
Give him Hinks's Boiled Buns with Jamaica Sauce.
Hundreds of manuscripts were rejected, but
mere were enough found suitable to provide
the travelling public with q continued supply OF
poetic literature In the street cars and elevated
examples of what tho outskirts of Greater New
hork can do when inspired to 1t came respec-
nNeiy from the Br0nXvll!e Association Tor tho
Propagation of the Beautiful in Literature. Art
and Life and from the East New York Lady
authors Guild. The Bronxville organization
furnished this:
Nutritious. delicious, oil, quality best,
NO time to prepare II. no loss;
Until you get IL you must not rest,
Hinks's Boiled Buns with jamaica Sauce.
One from the East New York g~eniuses. this,
When dinner time comes and baby 10 croas.
HOW happy is mother to know
That Hinks's Boiled Buns with Jamaica Sauce
Is prepared In a minute or so.
by poetry" writes Lord Macaulay, 1--WE
mean the art Of employing words in such a man.
ton
The essence of poetry Is invention declares
VI. Samuel Johnson; "such invention as, by
prodncing something unexpected. surprises and
In the light Of the definitions given by these
Two great authorities. who can deny to Kinks of
she succuient Boiled Bun and the spicy Jamaica
sauce not only the foremost place among con.
temporary poets, but also the right to be canon
lzed as the actual founder Of the new CONNER
clal school of poesyl
JAMES j. HILLS JEWELS AND FURs.
- beautiful Collection OF EnarnIda-Hua Rur