Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1898-07-06
% % Ases5s;sis ), = 81 NJ,
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Journal.
"By Jove, old chap, how wish lnefe
was no such thing rs money. eii'
we have no positive proof that there
is."-Life.
snodgrass-"The world has a place
for everybody" Micawber-"ies; the
only trouble is there's generally some
body else in it"
Yes" said Quiggles. 81 have good
deal on my hands just now" so
perceive" replied Fogg; why don't
you try a little soap and wateri
"Do you think man has right 10
open his wife's letters" wei, he
may have the right; but | don't see
how he could have the courage
Nellie-"Y Yesterday was my birthday,
and Charlie gave me a rose for each
year" Sallie-"What a perfectly I'M
mense bouquet they must have made.
Godfrey-"Doesn't Winchester ever
get tired of his wife's continued sulkl-
ness and Ill temperY ScorJel-"l think
not. When she is good-natured she
sings"
Mrs. Sweet-"Do you find it econom-
ical to do your own cooking Mrs.
Burnem-"Oh. yes; my husband does
MT eat half as much as when we have
cook"
'Uncle. which breed Of chickens is
the bestY "Well sab, de white one Is
de easiest found, an de dahk ones is de
easiest hid after yo' gifts 'em."--lndia-
napolis Journal.
II have n splendid night lock here
that locks itself" announced the can
vasser. THAT won't do me- answered
Roundley. "What | want is one that
will unlock ITSELF
Il asked the young woman In front
of me to remove her big hat so could
see the stage" did she do it?' NO;
she said If she held her hat in her lap
she couldn't see the stage herself
Promoter-"You needn't be bit
afraid; the company is perfectly safe
The Lamb-"Oh, I've no doubt about
the company being safe enough. | was
thinking about the safety of my
money"
"Oratory is gift remarked the ad-
miring constituent. WELL replied
Farmer Corntassel, mostly 1t is. But
now and then man gets good enough
at 1t to charge you fur listenin'."-
Washinton Star.
81 see," said the shoe clerk boarder
that there is a king of Africa who has
been drunk for fifteen years. That
said the Cheerful Idiot, SIS what might
be called a soaking reign. "-Indianap'
oils Journal.
"Tll take my chances with posterity,'
said the poet whose effusions had been
refused. "Of course you WILL" sneered
the editor. you know mighty well
that posterlty can't get at you. De
trolt Free Press.
"That man Crumlet has more invt
tations to dinner than any other man In
town." "How does he work itf' He
tells every hostess with a grown-up
daughter that she must have married
much below the legal age"
First Daughter Of the Revolution
"She says she'd like to know for her
part, what practical good our society
does" Second Ditto-"Why, the mean
thing. Just as If we hadn't made 1t
almost fashionable to be patriotic."--
Judge.
Traveler-Do the trains for Waxton-
! bury leave this station? Railroad At
tache-They always have up to date;
| but the thing is getting pretty shaky,
and it wouldn't be strange some day
to see one of the trains carrying it Off
Boston Transcript.
An old Yorkshire woman being much
distressed at the sudden loss of her
only son, the dissenting minister as
sured her, consolingly: 'He Is now
with Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.
That's the worst on It," she sobbed,
'and he was always so shy among
strangers. "-Moonshlne.
81 had a mighty queer surprise to-
day." remarked local broker. Il put
on winter suit on account of the cold
snap-one of my suits of last year
and In one of my vest pockets | found
big roll of bills, which l must have
forgotten, you know" Were any OF
them receipted?" asked n sadeyed by
stander. And the look he received sen:
the mercury down about ten degrees
further.
Gentleman (who has engaged an
aged colored hackman to drive him
from the station to the hoteD-"Say
uncle, what's your name?" Driver
my name, sab, is George Washing
ton" Gentleman-"George Washing
ton. Why that names seems familiar
Driyer-"Well, l should t'ink 1t ought
to. Here been drivin' to this station
TO- bout twenty years, sab"
81 Plunkard-"Hiram, when be you
goin' to pay me them eight dollars fci
pasturin' your heller? I've had hei
now fer about ten weeks" Hiram
! Agin-'Why, 81, Their critter AIM
with more'n ten dollars" 81 PUNK