The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1898-02-25
MILK IN THE NUT
PFGlGlSilG Enthusiasts Hold Extra
ordinary Session.
NO TREE CLIMBING EXHIBITION
Patriotism and Responsibility the
Topics of an Interesting
Discussion.

The members of the Cocoanut Club
met yesterday in grove No. s. The
attendance was large owing to the fact
that it was the anniversary of the
birth of General Washington. Candi-
dates for admission were not allowed
to exhibit their prehensile strength.
The Inventor of the Club was allowed
to briefly explain the nature of mis-
new invention. He stated that it was
a method Of cutting cocoanuts from
the tallest trees, by the use of ''chain
lightning" kept in a storage jar. The
process was not yet perfect. When
let loose, it invariably went for CO.
coanuts and cut them down. Instead
of returning TO the battery, it would
then rampage off, and often his best
chain lightning got into trouble with
the police-or rather made trouble for
them, because it did not carry Ian
tern at night, and it couldn't be run
into the station house. He promised
to make further experiments. The
President thought that Mr.. Tim Muir
ray might put a brake on it.
The President then stated in the
regular order of business, an essay
should be read, by the naval attache
of the Club on The influence of the
cocoanut on the sea power of Hawai-"
Admiral Miller, who is an esteemed and
honorary member of the Club was full
~ aware of the vast maritime influence
of this nut, but was rather reserved
in expressing his views at present
owing to the political situation. He
had instantly seen, as Nelson and
Farragut would have seen, if alive,
that the ripe cocoanut is in the shape
of a round shell, in which Nature had
provided a hole for fuse. 1t was the
natural projectile of warfare, but
hitherto not known. 1t needed to be
properly managed-there was the rub
and it would penetrate 20 inches of
iron.
AS the day would be devoted to patri-
otto exercises, the essay would be
postponed. The hero of today found
the American cocoanut empty of milk
in 1775. He filled it. Cheers. The
true tree of Liberty was a cocoanut
tree. Under its shadows Tyranny could
not live. 1t got fits Cheers. The
fathers" who landed on Plymouth
rock, planted other kinds of trees, and
got freed themselves by the savage
Indians and wild bears. But Wash
ington planted the only true tree, and
h. I.l - a15
~ had sucked the milk of its nuts, and
grown progidiously. Cheers.
Today" said the President, solemn
ly, 1--WE put aside all other pursuits and
worship true heroism. l would, in
remembrance Of Hawaiian tradition
offer a human sacrifice today, if an in
expensive body could be obtained, and
Rev. Mr.. Brine would keep quiet
about it. (Hear, hear. l now ask the
sons Of all respectable revolutionists
to join with US in our commemorative
services
The member from Eva, asked if the
sons of unsuccessful revolutionists
could join. Many very meritorious re
volutionists had been left" in the past
Wicked tyrants had pulled up theil
tender cocoanut trees of Liberty and
hung the revolutionary gents to the
branches of other trees. Would the
descendants of Cromwells men be adj
mitted? Then, there were the sons Of
the daily revolutionists of the Span
ish-American countries. Were they
eligible? Were they respectable? Who
rated them up and stamped respecti-
bility on them? Hear).
The member from Kalihi objected
also to the word respectable" II
was too aristocratic. His ancestor
while conducting milk route in Bos-
ton in 1850, had, like Ajax. defied the
British lightning, but it was near
enough to sour his milk. Now, wa:
not his ancestor respectable?
The member from Waikiki wanted
to know, before he got tangled up il
the picnic, what qualifications were
necessary. His ancestor had been sho
at by British red-coats, while he wa!
skinning pig for the supper of some
Bunker Hill patriots. Would his des
cendant be excluded? CNoi No!D HI
would raise his own hand to Heaven
and say mo, by Goshr' 1t was sau
nun LIdl pig, IudI Sdft
strength to the muscles that pulled the
triggers. 1t was a mathematical GER
tainty that hundreds of soldiers in the
Continental Army had fired at the enc
my for six years, and had never killed
a man. Were their descendants any
better than the descendants of a mar
who calmly, coolly, amidst storm o.
bullets, keeping an unwavering trus
in God, skinned a pig in the holy
cause of Liberty? He would allow hi.
tongue TO cleave-
The member from Makapuu Gnter
rupting) said he had something t
say. His ancestor had driven a null,
team of an ammunition wagon, at th'
battle of Monmouth, and had distinct
ly heard that celebrated oath which
General Washington uttered, when tn
revolutionary troops broke and ran
(Cheers). His ancestor had oftel
spoken Of the way the nigh mule low
cred his ears in sadness to a hal
mast, when the General forgot him
self At present, by the statutes O