The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1898-03-09


Grounds Had DOwnea Many Kinds Of
Riga omelaIs. but Ns~-- Before Tao
Lled a You0x Consul.
There was a hardy fellow named
Bronston who lived in shack on des-
ert claim Just at the edge Of the Wyo-
ming hunting grounds who had repu-
tation for being about as handy with
his fists as the next conner. Bronston
had an especial dislike for the "dude"
hunters. and il was his boast that in a
fair encounter he could best anything
wearing good clothes and carrying %
pounds of variegated ammunition. De
was kept fairly busy.
The hunting grounds, despite the
presence Of BrOnston, became moro pop
ular year after year, until finally be had
70 be a little more select in his opera
tions. as there were altogether too many
visitors TO allow him time to do the
whole lot justice. He finally announced
that in future be was going TO whip no
body under the rank Of colonel in mill
tary life and nobody who in civil life
wasn't at least a mayor Of big town or
a president Of a railroad. By following
this plan he succeeded in filing his time
comfortably without overworking him
self. He was uniformly successful until
one day party stopped at his ranch
and introduced themselves as eastern
tourists bent on doing some elk exter-
animation. They asked if they might
stop overnight with him.
"Gentlemen. said Bronston, "do it
happen that they's a giniral among
you:"
No, there didn't happen to be.
"a judge, mebbe, or a vice presi-
dent?''
There was not. 1t was an unofficial
PARTY. The only man with anything APP
Iroacbing an official designation was
young fellow who was Portuguese con-
sui in a seaport town down east. He
WASH I a native of Portugal himself
Just plain American citizen, who had
been appointed 20 the place because he
had the time to attend TO the few duties.
"Concernin a consul" said Bronston
refiectively, Il don't know. | never
heard Of .sich. Doubtless, mebbe, it's
responsible an honorable job. 80
He was answered that it was.
"Well, " lac suggested, 'mebbe he'll
do. Come ont here in the yard, gentle
men, an the exercises will begin.
They had no idea what was coming
but Bronston explained briefly, and the
young r-an seemed perfectly willing to
take his part in the melee, though the
others, terrified, tried their best to
argue Brunston cut Of it. The desert
claim settler made rush at his victim
and found he WASH there. He had care
fully stepped aside, and as the mountain
fighter thundered past him the consul
hit him ON the ear. Then the Portuguese
representative followed up his advan-
tage and leaping upon the PROSTATE
Bronston battered his head against the
ground until he had worn hole in the
hard soil. He picked Bronston mp and
threw him ont into the road, and then
went out and threw him back again.
The Portuguese consul, it may be re-
marked, had spent the better part of his
life learning How TO box and wrestle,
and this was his first opportunity to let
himself out
In an hour Bronston came back to life
He wearily looked about him and said,
Gentlemen, did a dozen or two su-
preme court judges sneak up while
want lookin an tackle me?" He was
told that no such thing had happened.
''P'r'aps il was state legislator"
No. 1t was just young man who was
a Portuguese consul.
He drew a sad sigh. 81 wouldn't "a
believed il, - be said. 81 had more con-
fidence ia the institutions Of this land
of freedom Of ourn. To think that a man
who has licked governors an state tor
neys an sheriffs an congressman should
be whooped till he's half dead by fur
riner that can't talk the langwidge of
his own furrin country Gentlemen,
they amt no use bein patriotic no
more. The republican form of gov 'ment
is crumblin an she's goin TO fall. Dog it
all, / beat the daylights out of reg lar
United States senator wunst, an here l
am en- the broad Of my back with two
ribs broke 10y emissary of despotism!
The game over, an the U. 5. Of Amer
icky AIM got chip to cash in. -
The speaker of the house Of representa-
tives went up that way to hunt after
ward, but when somebody suggested TO
the desert claimant that here was an ex-
oellent chance TO give greatness a fitting
pugilis5ic reception be said il was no
use. He would very likely whip the
statesman, but what would be the good?
Since the young men Of the country bad
got TO prostituting their great talents to
the service of foreign dynasties he felt
that the country had gone to the dogs
and that there would be no substantial
Joy even in backing the eye of the presi-
dent himself. Chicago Record.