The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1898-07-10

,,,,cors to he as Wicked as
- swearing and Far More De-
.,rc,tive 20 Furniture and Other
,,...s Which Are NeHr at Hand.
rron1 the New York Sun.
words. il seems, are of various
p1arisees. who have never so much
..l ",ieewhnlikbns" viii please re-
'rsm..r tus. Let not the spirit OF mortal
,..r..i because the mortal has never said
sveaar-.
-ts only recognized way, of course, Is
.,, those words which set into litera-
EMO or.v 10y the tips of their toes, so to
nj They are the words which polite
suffers TRY to kill by the hari-kari meth
THAT IS TO say, they cut out the mid
d. of q words anatomy, put a long dash
,ssrs and print the first and the last let
ters. ii5.e this:
"D-n'
That word. before it fell into the hands
If tbe polite printer, was one kind of
crss word. Sometimes these words can't
oeteven their toes into literature and have
n make their bow by a sort of proxy like
this
"Blarkty-blank-b blank
As a matter of fact this blankity word
doesn't belong there at ALL It's nothing
hit an old s}ab-sided, weak-jointed mani
Kin But ii is favored by polite authors,
who can't really keep their characters
from saving an occasional cuss word, but
who can break it gently to their readers.
Since Kipaug declined to break anything
gently but allowed his troopers 10 swear
IN their own whole-souled way at appro-
prate paragraphs, English as she is
wrote" has become much enriched.
Cussine hitherto has been regarded as a
masculine prerogative. But it's a poor wo-
man nowadays who can't prove that her
sex has enjoyed or suffered from about
all the nrerogatives there are going. One
Of them has found out and classified
species of profanity which she calls
wooden swearing" 1t is especially pop
ular Women and children indulge in 1t.
There are persons who have held fiat
irons between their knees and cracked
hickory nuts on them with hammer The
writer knew young woman who did this.
Well. as every one knows there are hick-
DRY nuts which are, il expressive if not
logical language, the devil and all for
slipping When the young woman, who
was of an obstinate-that is to say, per-
these slippery customers, she kept whack-
ing away with a determination worthy of
Warship bOmbarding a Spanish fort. The
uut was ike the crow in the nursery
rhyme Ii flew east and it flew west, and
it otherwise changed its latitude and its
longitude. The young woman with the
hammer always recovered it, however, and
hit 10 another whack. OF course, finally she
missed the hickory nut and came down on
her thumb. 1t was a great come-down. A
man. under those circumstances and that
hammer, would have said things which
the polite author would have expressed
thus:
"Blanky blank that BANKED old ham
merr'
But nice young women never use the
aptecelents for these blank cartridges of
speeches. OF course not. They would cut
out their tongue, perhaps, before they
would say such things. Consequently, all
that the young woman in question said
wa:
"Oo-oo-oo-oor'
But-and here's the rub-meanwhile she
pounded a regular anvil chorus on that
hat-ion ana kicked a chair over. The
moral Of this is coming later
Also JHele was once man. He was a
very good man. lie was so good a man
mat ne could put UP stoves his own
stoves, you know, with the stOvepipe
lie hdd got 1t all together except one piece
o. pipe which had been evaporated, or
"Hth an elbow turned Out and gave him
shower oath of SCOT, or when he had
discovered that little known property of
Eon It's capacity for shrinking so that a
So'tppe will be two inches shorter in
November than it was in May; when he
Naa reached any one of these and other
crises, he never SO much as said
Ihunieration"
an Ae dlu was to carry the pipe carefully
~ tne Woodshed, where he threw it away
"''H Nisor and an abandon which made
ue week.-mrs. OF back yards ring. The moral
VI 'his is also coming later
'o'He people have been known to miss
uaH" IL IS very hard to miss a train in
H"ae' one of the most CALLING things
ABOUT a sorrow of this kind is mat Won
ttau tA down alone with your grief and
n II oul There are always so many
rYpN around, watching to see how YOU
your Riihction If you meet it with
co," Foe3. volcanoes you're likely 10
M, SG cold wave in your neighborhood.
I'm . "o-'.r YOU are the colder the wave.
N" occasions Ike this man Jams his bag
U" seat, slams his umbrella on ton of
N'As the cuspidor four feet. ana
.,.'H everybody in sight with one with
vo's 7-aIr one moral of this is that
ALI n "N'iy TO break your umbrella and
norsi 9oiJles in your bag. Another
ri1s', rs the golf girl. too. Even the
is an AlNd OF a nice girl. whose reading
has ~ me eXpurgated brand. and who
soma, irsf earned even her stockings. will
was ~ ~ come upon a golf crisis which
San 4eI arranged for the Youno Per
force ou girl swings her driver with
dam Suo0sh to send golf bah to king
blade come VI ana then hits nothing but a
whit grass. she is likely TO make q
wt5o,ts VefVish and a spectacle of herself
amnrs topping to take vows. For ex-
Ing an s wi me things a girl feels like saw
Of The ~ occasions read the literature
''"sesque style That she doesn't