The evening times., 1898-04-20
The Doctors Little Bill.

/ tFrcm the Chicago Post.)
Now. in regard to your little bill. doc
/ tor" said the old gentleman, as he drop
! ped into the physicians private office and
/ took chair.
"Ah. yes" returned the doctor. "Ill be
very glad TO get the money. l assure you.
/ I'm not very prompt and businessiike in
! these matters I'm afraid. / let things
run along and run along until need the
money and then I make out the bill and
send it in. No doubt some of those items
| should have been charged up TO you
months ago.
Il don't care anything about that re-
| turned the old man. You can take all
the time you want about sending YOU bills
| in. but, hang it all, it strikes me that this
| one is mighty steep
why. | thought 1t very reasonable
answered the doctor
And some of the items l don't under
stand went on the old gentleman. For
instance here is charge of 81 for March
&. and as | recall il March was the day
you took Sunday dinner with us
Precisely" explained the doctor: "and
YOU will recall also that after dinner
your daughter was kind enough to sing
for me- and that she complained of a
little throat trouble and asked me if /
thought it was anything serious. 10 which
| replied that ] did not
Il recall it," admitted the old gentle
man.
Well said the doctor that 81 charge
Is for prof, ssional advice given on that
occasion. | also charged up another 81
for the time your wife asked ME how big
dose of quinine it was safe to give a
six-year-old child You remember that
occasion I suppose You had kindly in
vited me to the house for friendly game
of whist. but ] did not understand that
the invitation included giving profession
al advice to your family. Another even
ing when I was calling on your daughter
she asked me what was normal tempera-
ture i'm a human being. and of course |
have put down 81 for that. You see the
habit of inviting professional men out
socially and then taking advantage of the
fact is growing so that many of us, includ-
iEg some of the noted singers and in
st, umentalists. have taken this method
of discouragiug il.
''Ah. yes see. answered the old gen
tdeman. The fact is l didn't understand
about il before. but no doubt you are
right. I'll just deduct the offsets as soon
as / get to my office and then let you
know how the account stands.
''The Offsets" exclaimed the doctor.
Certainly. Looking at this purely from
business point of view. there is. of
course the Sunday dinner to be charged
up. That was quite an elaborate course
affair. and | should say II would be cheap
at $50 Then. there is the music. My
daughter doesn't rank with some of the
opera stars. but she was singing for you
alone on that occasion. and naturally the
individual cost will be greater than it
would be if you were one of large au-
dience I should think $40 or s15 would
be very reasonable. Then the evening We
played whist my wife put In about TWO
hours entertaining you. and she told me
afterward that she never in her life had
such a hard time TO keep conversation
from Tagging l don't know what will be
a fair charge for that. I'll have to talk
il over with her"
The basis upon which a compromise
will be reached is problematical, but
friends of both still! have hopes of keep
ing the matter out of the courts.