The evening herald. [volume] (Shenandoah, Pa.) 1891-1966, 1898-08-18
iNANlMATE THINGS.
Theory That Thcy Have an Unpieasant
Sense of Humor.


We have read and talked about the total
dopravity Of inanimate things but the
sense of humor I'm intimate things has not
been written of as it ought TO be. There
can be little doubt that inanimate things,
especially if thcy are small and elusive,
possess strong sense of humor
For instance a man had in bis desk one
Of those curying things with handle in
which sheets of blotting paper are held.
1t was convenient as long as it could be
prevented from getting showed under on
his desk. One day the man missed the
pad whom he was writing and wanted IT,
He had u cleared space occupying the cen
ter of his desk and all around this space
was a litter of papers, letters and things
Naturally he supposed that the pad had
got under these things. He searched
among the papers, but took care not to get
any of them upon the cleared space i'm the
center. He searched over the whole lot
and 1t occurred to him that this was a
good time to put his desk in order He
cleared up and sorted out all the things
and put them in pigeonholes or within
bands and made his desk spick and span,
but no trace of the pad could be discov-
cred
He was discouraged, and as it was near
lunchtime he locked up his desk and went
out to lunch. When he came back, he
opened the desk, and there, exactly in the
middle of the desk, on the very spot which
his paper had occupied when he was writ
Ing, was that pad, simply Elaring at him.
1t seemed to wear an expression that was
positively malicious. The man was forced
TO conclude that the pad had a strong
sense of humor, with a tendency to prao-
tool f.,1r4 4 l.. L
self In some corner of the desk when he
was searching and while he was gone had
whipped itself out into tho most consplcu-
Gus spot on the desk as a way of laughing
at him. OF course it wasn't possible that
he could have absentmindodly dislodgod it
while he was looking over the papers and
gone off and left it there
Lately the same man had a slender little
pencil about two inches long. 1t was a very
amiable little pencil, of pleasing manners
and suave movements, and the man used
to hold 1t between his forefinger and his
middle finger and direct it with his thumb
while he was scrawling memoranda or do
ing other things which required pencil
He kept it in waistcoat pocket. One day
the pencil turned up missing. He wanted
it and wanted no other pencil He search
ed all his pockets several times over and
looked all over his desk and shelves and
even searched the floor. No trace of 1t.
He sat down to write with long, un-
congenial pencil. 1t seemed to balk and
mock him, and he said to himself, "Oh,
Lord, wish that little pencil would ap-
pearl And at that very moment it drop
ped upon his paper as if from the sky, but
really from over his right ear, where it
had humorously concealed itself. Though,
of course, tlf5 humor came in the reap
pearance rather than the disappearance,
articles without a grain of humor in them
may conceal themselves behind ones ear
especially if the ear offers ample oppor-
tunity for such concealment, but to flip
out just at the psychological moment
that takes real humor Boston Tran
script.