The herald., 1898-11-23
OUR UNSPEAKABLE TURKEY
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ssThere's money in turkeys" remarked
Binks in his enthusiastic way as he passed
his plate for more dark meat. Where
abouts!" said l, peering under the sternun
which half dozen healthy appetites had
| left as bare as innocence. Il have opened
up a good many and never found any,.
Il mean you can make money out Of
them," he rejoined impatiently. Eliza
beth," said l sternly, turning to my wife,
"if you can make money out of these crea-
lures, why do you persist in only making
hash or croquettes!"
ooh, don't be foolish" said Binks testify.
"You know what l mean. You can earn
money raising them"
"There's where you are right. You bet
YOU can," said heartily. 81 know about
that pretty thoroughly. l earned several
thousand dollars last year myself, raising
turkeys"
Binks was radiant at this corroboration.
He is a young man yet and enthuses beauti-
fully.
.iIow many did you raise?" he asked
delightedly.
Four" l answered.
-Four what? Four thousand?"
"Now see here, Binks,' said l severely,
"what were we talking about? -Four turkeys,
of course"
"Well, where did you get your money!"
he asked suspiciously.
"There you go again." said l. "Who
ever said ! got any money? said | earned
several thousand dollars. But, of course,
| didn't get it. Who does get what he earns
in this present uneven state OF society
Several thousand dollars, or even thrice that
amount, is a conservative estimate OF what
earned in bringing up those four fowls
But we ate them; you ate them for the
most part, Mr. Binks, and l haven't ever
certificate of stock to show where that
labor was expended"
But Binks was busy with the mince pie
so l stopped.
I never believed in that old thir
teen superstition till last Thanksgv
ing when we had family reunion
at Aunt Fanny's and they induced
me to carve. There We're just
thirteen of us who sat down, including tn,
turkey, that is, not at first, including him
l chopped the bird up pretty well and go
em started in the informal family way, OF
a big plateful apiece. just as was going tt
help myself, Cousin Tom, who has the appe
tite OF a horse and the nerve of a mule, sing
out: while you're at it, Jack, you nigh
as well give me that other thigh" And ther
little Jimmie came back after the othe
drumstick. BY that time there were thre
or four more waiting to coal up, and begai
to think that wasn't going to get in OIL
this deal at all.
"Do you know, think John must b,
working too hard" said Sister Kate
eyes, little white meat and dressing ane
just speck of turnip."
1--WE thought so, too," says Edna,-
''just give me that other wing and a littl,
sweet potato,-he certainly looks pale ane
worried. I'm afraid you don't get enough
to eat" and she beamed sympathetically a
me over forkful of potato and gravy.
Well, l got around the second time b,
hacking up the skeleton, and by that tim,
the rest of them were waiting for pie.
was trying to get little nutriment off tn,
fag end of the neck
I'd like to tell that fellow who says tha
the neck is the sweetest part Of the who'll
turkey just how big liar I think he is.
I bought an incubator two years ago.
told my wife that it would beat the Klon
dixie (you see had been reading some in
cuhated literature and was a little too
warm.) 1t did beat the Klondike ant
along the same line-in freeze-out.
I didn't keep an accurate account, but
estimate that the turkeys l raised cost mi
about $40 apiece in cash and labor = az
nauseam.
In all, l got about hundred chicks a
first. Some of 'em had the roup and died
and some of 'em had the pip and died. Some
of 'em had something else and some didn'
have anything at all as far as l could see
but they died just the same. am ready t.
bet that chicken-turkey can commit sui
eide by just lying down on his back anC
feeling sorry. Finally, l got round dozel
Of 'em half grown by refinement of nurse
care worthy of the children of rajah.
I kept 'em in a nice pen on the hillside
and l often thought what fine dinners W.
would have along in the holidays.
About the lst of November we had biz
rain. and for several days it kept drizzling
Well, those turkeys didn't know enough tt
20 in when it rained and they went tramp
ing about in that adobe mud all day long.
At night my wife says, John, there''
something the matter with our turkeys
they wont come in to roost." l went ou
to investigate Wouldn't" come in? The,
couldn't! There they all stood wet as rats
anchored by their own feet.
l got them and peeled the great cakes o
dobe off their feet and gave 'em cocktail
to ward off pneumonia, but three of then
died in spite of it.
The next day it was just the same
hadn't any place where could shut 'em VI
but the parlor; and those fool-turkeys woult
wade around till they were just planted ano
then 1 would have to go and dig 'em ou
and wash their feet.
I brought home dry-goods box and pu
in the last four of 'em, ,and we had them fol
Thanksgiving and Christmas; but reckon
they cost about 81 pound, to say nothing
of the peril to my soul at sundry times il
their lives-and deaths. III. b. L.