Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1898-07-27
PITH ANc POINT.

diO 5A00o osSSoAASs
Eyes; we wouldn't have enjoyed this
war ct all if Jimmy hadn't known so
much about geography. hy."-Chicago
Record.
Host Ito student)-"Look here, sir;
if YOU pinch that cats tail again when
ever some one orders rabbit pie, I'll
have you thrown out Of the restaurant.
-Fliegende Blaetter.
"Chewing gum certainly. stimulates
thought" remarked the observer OF
men and things. ''But the chewing
and thinking are not done by the same
person. Detroit Journal.
First Duke-"Why don't you travel
incognito, as I do? It's far pleasanter."
Second Duke-"Yes, but my wife al
ways goes with me, and married an
American. Harlem Life.
"Do you think you could stand the
marching if you enlisted? You are
pretty stout ct could stand the
marching all right; but couldn't stand
the running. Chicago Record.
"James, you ought to be ashamed
of your language. well, you would
grumble, too, if you had the coal bills
to pay" Nonsense; suppose you were
war ship and had to lay in 5000
tons. Chicago Record.
The race Of Irish "bulls" will ap-
parently never be entirely run. In the
House of Commons q week or two ago
o well-known eloquent Irish member
spoke of Mr.. Gerald Balfour as being
'firon- bound in red tape. "-Tit-Bits.
Maude-"I understand she married
him out of spite" Clsrice-"Really?"
Maude-"Yes; she said if no other
man would propose to her, she was
bound he should propose to no other
girl" ."-Philadelphia North American.
Talking about Joe Miller,
wonder what he would say if he could
come back to earth and hear some OF
the Jokes of the present day." Fogg
-"Guess he'd think the world stood
still when he died and hadn't started
up again. Boston Transcript.
$50 you're going to marry Bumper,
Grace?" laughed her best chum.
"Pardon my levity, but ne's 80 short
and you so tall and stately" you're
wrong, as you often are. Aman can't
be called short when he's worth over
o million. Detroit Free Press.
Chirurgo-"What did you say that
poor fellows ailment is9" Medico-
''Chronic dyspepsia. Chirurgo-
'sDid you prescribe more rational
scientific diet?.s Medico-I did,
and that's why he's gone away mad.
His wife is the principal Of q cooking
school Judge. z : s. )
cit strikes me, Mr.. Brief, "said Mr..
Dogway, ''that your charge of $3.50
for this opinion is pretty steep" "No
doubt" said Mr.. Brief. "But you
see, Dogway, when you come and ask
me for On opinion which violates all
my convictions, you've got to pay not
only for your law, but for my con-
science. "-Hsrper's Bazaar.
Mabel-"S you and Edward have
broken off? What ever could have
happened?" Gertrude-''We got to-
talking about Porto Rico and he criti-
,ised my pronunciation Of San Juan,
90 told him I believed he was part
spaniard anyway, and after that, OF
course, it was impossible for US to
ever be anything but strangers. -
Chicago News.
An old gentleman, speaking to q
young lady and commenting upon her
freshness and good looks, remarked:
"Ah, my dear, may you long retain
them. Yours is happy period OF
life; you know nothing yet of .he
jealousies, the heart-burnings, the
contentious, the rivalries that beses
the pathway OF existence" Don't
I, thought" she interrupted; II want
You to understand that I belong to q
church choir. ."-Tft-Bits