Bridgeton pioneer., 1898-11-10

arounI upon his handiwork, smile Of
satisfaction meandering across his face
as he bid go
"Wo said it was impossible to white
wash ceiling without spelling every
thing In the room?" he soliloquized.
cpl bow 'em how it's DONE"
Th9elf satisfied Peter then proceeded
to coneal his own rotund form with
the MYSTERIOUS paper combinations pre-
viousl mentioned. Certainly his ap-
pearalte was more that of circus clown
than a respectable ratepaying citi-
| zen, ebecially when he concluded his
toilet by placing on his massive (some
calledlt fat) cranium paper cap of the
orthodox sugar loaf shape so much af-
fectedI by grotesques of the sawdust.
Howe er, there was nobody present to
see hih So what did it matter?
UpEhe handy pair of steps sprang
Peter bucket and brush in hand, and
withdt unnecessary delay he made dash
No. i at the ceiling- which, by the
way, he had forgotten should have first
been water washed-with the brush
heavily charged with the beautifying
mixture. The result was not quite as
the aIateur distemper could have wish
ed. ! far greater percentage of the
whiting descended in thick shower on
Peters paper dittoes than went on to
the cdling, to say nothing of sundry big
splasles dropping upon various parts of
his Dtlrned face, causing him to sneeze
so violently as to very nearly lose his
balaice and topple off the steps igno-
minbusly to the floor.
Alter ten minutes wild dabbing and
splahing Peter thought he might as
wellassist exhausted nature by blowing
the fragrant weed during work, just as
though he were real British workman
So b came down from his perch, found
his leloved brier, CHARGE it with some
of Hddy's Myrtle Grove" and lighted
it with British made match This lat
ter he-British workmanlike-drop
whie still aflame on to his improvised
papG drugget. M
NJ sooner had Peter again mounted
his pstrum than. glancing downward,
he s. slw, to his dismay, the devouring
element skimming along the floor
Down scuttled the alarmed distemperer,
with the intention of stamping out the
blaze. But, alas, in the excitement of the
moment poor Peter forgot the nature of
his improvised overalls! The next mo-
melt the tongues of the fiery serpents
crawling on the floor had licked Peters
"rhdy mades," and he was soon fran
tioilly occupied in tearing off the paper
covering and burning his hands to
rather "sulphury" tune.
The situation threatened to develop
into something serious, as the fire had
commenced to mount the walls, so Peter
was reluctantly compelled to fling open
the door and yell for assistance.
Mrs. Grigwell rushed forth from the
back regions, and, giving wild look
into the room, fed screaming to the
street door, which she flung open, and
then she proceeded to shrek out:
"Fire, firel Police, policeP"
Suddenly great commotion was
heard in the front, the street door was
thrown violently open, and brass
helmeted figure loomed family through
the thick smoke which filled the en-
trance hail. The next instant a shining
copper tube was pushed forward into
the room, and before Peter could find
breath to tell the man who pointed the
nozzle full at him that all danger was
past he was almost off his feet by a
powerful jet of water which drenched
him to the skin.
However, he soon found his tongue
sufficiently to overwhelm the fireman in
some choice vernacular that nearly had
the effect of starting the fire afresh.
With an injured look beneath his
metal headpiece the fireman threw
down his hose, and, going to the street
door, growled out to his colleagues out
side:
"Turn orf!''
The following day the professional
"distemperers came as heretofore, and
at Christmas their little (O bill will
come to Peter Grigwell as usual. The
house furnishers, too, will benefit by
Peters laudable but misdirected efforts
to economize. Taken altogether, Mrs.
Grigwell's prophecy was pretty accu-
rate. Exchange.
Habits In Tuscany.
hoh