The herald., 1898-11-24
THE INNER MAN
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS


"Can you tell me what we have Thanks
giving for, my little MANI" asked the old
minister who had been invited to share the
family feast.
"Why, to eat turkey, of course" replied
Tommy, in the plainest give-me- a-harder-one
tone.
''But what is it we are thankful fory'
Thankful if we don't get sick" answered
the small boy, naively.
Fools and children" says the wise old
proverb.
There is a certain young woman of the
hamlet that is responsible for me, who has
great reputation as conversationahst.
Every man that knows her likes to get a
tete-a-,ete with her. One day sister asked
her what she talked about. "Oh, | don't
talk at ALL she answered.; l just get them
to talking about what they like to eat
A Daniel come to Judgment Another
Portia in pettcoats again. Hadn't she hit
it on the heady Nine men out of ten, unless
they are absolutely deaf and dumb, can talk
about their grub, and even the tongue-tied
can wax eloquent over their mothers apple
dumplngs or their aunts' sweet pickles.
Disgusting? What better subject for
reverent remark than the material that
makes us, by which we live, of which we are.
And of all times, what season so well fitted
for the mention of things edible and enjoy
able, as that day dedicated to turkey and
lthankfulness.
He was a native of Wisconsin, but that
didn't prevent his being fond of fruit. Prob
ably, as with the infant king who cried for
the moon, it only made him worse, as he was
too big to have the spanking remedy work
satisfactorily.
One day he came home and calmly an
nounced, Il am going to California next
week" For oonsumption?" they asked.
well. sort of, he replied, ''of grapes"
Then he showed them a clipping that said:
"ln California the finest grapes are now sell
ing at $40 ton Delivered
Now" said he, Il am going to go out
there and buy half ton delivered and sit
down beside it until there isn't anything
left but pile of skins and me. Imay &C.,
home then, and | may not Whereat -
family wept and his sharp sister remarked:
''Well meet you in heaven, Benny
O o o
uIupNlES % IL ION. ItduS sign Oll IL
Burbank shingle. 1t may not be progressive
to harl back so far into our antecedents, but
one could almost wish himself COW, when
pumpkin pies are a nickel a wedge and an
acute wedge at that acuter, even, than the
sense of loss when the last crumb has van
ished.
There is nothing | know. that so reminds
lis of the partiality of Providence as to see
for the cattle. while we have to exc out with
prune pie The only parallel case was once
when | saw peanuts fed to turkeys by the
sack. And yet men wonder, in the face of
such inequalities of life. why the red flag of
anarchy waves aloft ard communism flour
ishes
] wrote home this evening that we had
green peas and strawberry short cake for
dinner. In my youth had several friends
who annually visited in Florida. just about
| all | can remember about their correspond
ence was that they mentioned these same
facts regularly every week. Probably that
was not really the complete text of the let
tiers. but it was all that used to impress me.
| can still remember how my mouth used to
water.
Now l am having my chance to get back
| at humanity in general.
| But, by Jove, believe Id give six short
cakes for good Wisconsin russet or a Rhode
Island greening.
| 1t never seems right to me to have oranges
grow on trees, except, OF course, Christmas
trees, where there was always heavy crop
But somehow the bright yellow of the fruit
and the dark green of the foliage seem to
disagree, so l make it point to pull the
yellowest ones off as quick as | can.
In the states when you eat many oranges
you make heavy draught on the sugar-bowl
and when you get through your teeth are on
edge, and your alimentary canal (unless it is
acid-proof) feels as il it had been secured
with lye.
But after drinking dozen foothill navels
and no sensible man does anything but
drink good oranges-the sensation is not of
too much acid, but a surfeit OF sweetness.
They tell me that too many oranges will
injure the digestion. have found it so my
self. Newcomers should begin gently, say
a dozen a day, with thirty the limit, except
on special occasions. But don't overdo it.
1t is both unhygienic and bad form. Modera-
ton in all things, says Shakespeare or some
body. HB.L.