The age-herald., 1898-01-16
BAB TELLS HOW
 TO BE GRACEFUL,

We hear with no end of interest about the various clubs that are got up to encourage the wearing of short skirts, heavy boots, plain hats and tEe carrying of stout umbrellas on rainy days, but somehow if you are out on rainy day it dawns on you that on a rainy day the American woman is not a success She lacks the courage of the English girl, who does not care how she looks provided she is comfortable, and who, feeling perfectly secure in good storm coat, strides through mud and water in broad soled shoes and galoches, sure of coming out in fit con- dition. She makes one big step over crossing and does not mind the soft rain drops falling on her face. She knows this kind of water is good for the complexion Now, the average American woman does not look well on a rainy day. She may go in for com- fort. put on a short skirt, long ulster and felt hat and carry an umbrella, but she is uncertain in her grasp of it. She either takes it by the extreme end so that it wabbles to and fro, as the wind listeth, or else she grasps it so far up that it looks like a perambulating mushroom, while she cannot see any 
 the chance either of having their eyes knocked out or their digestions punch ed in. After block or two of walking the rainy day girl concludes to get on a car, and her umbrella is wildly waved to stop it. Then she makes the usual feminine effort to get on the platform with the umbrella still open. As the car was not built with this in view, the conductor yells at her, Shut that!
 My lady stands perfectly still, says something about reporting him to the superintendent, while the nearest man closes her umbrella for her, and after that she enters the car. Ten to one she sits down next to somebody who has had the rheumatism, and that vile umbrella drips on him or her until he or she nearly has nervous chill. Twenty to one her money, instead of being in her ulster pocket, is in her dress skirt, so that when the conductor comes for it she unbuttons the coat, squirms around to find the pocket and has the whole car interested in her ef- forts. Then, when the money is dis covered, she gives it to the unfortunate conductor in a way that suggests he ought to be giving thanks that she is in his car instead of making her pay for the privilege. After this she takes out her handkerchief dabs her face and looks around the car with her best smile and says with a longing sigh. "Oh, I am so tired!' This expression ; of weakness conquers every man in the car and absolutely permeates the being of each one, and my private opinion is ', that if any woman did this the second time there would be a riot among the men as to who should have the privi- lege of letting her umbrella drip on him.
 When she gets out, it is fun to see her. It is evident that she is used to being helped across the street by a man. She grasps her skirt in one hand, looks around, stands on her tip toes, gets in the middle of the street, sees a wagon coming half a square away and chases back Then she waits a long time, makes another rush across just when the electric cars are racing down the street, after a block, and rushes across at the risk of her life without any regard for appearances, or else is meekly led across by some man who knows the ways of woman and feels sorry for her. A Frenchwoman would never make herself so ridiculous. She lifts her skirts in dainty sort of a way with both hands, gives full view of a perfectly fitting boot and the sug- gestion of a black silk stocking, but that is only a suggestion, and then with the quickness of a bird she gets over the bad places and is safe on the other side. Her skirts are quickly drop