Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1898-01-12
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She-"lm sorry 10 near you We los1
vour patlent, DR.. Jones'" He-"But he
was III a long, long time.'-Punch.
Friend-"How do you get along with
the cooking?' The Bride-"Admlra-
bly, | blame 1t on the range Puck.
How can you call man Christian
who loves himself as that feller doesT
well, I've heard that he Is his own
worst enemy."-Puck.
Founder has had to go out of the
band" What was the troubleT' He
has got too fat to balance the bass
drum. Chicago Record.
Our organlst has an easy time Of It,"
IN what way when he wants his
wheel am;cd up he attaches 1t to the
organ. Chicago Record.
He-'I suppose If your father found
me here he would kick me out Of the
door," She-"Oh, don't know; papa's
punting is wretched. Detroit Jour-
nal.
Chorus OF Excited Voices-"Heavens,
A boat wrecked, you say? And none
of its occupants escapedf" Life-Saver
lgrimly)-"Only the fellow who rocked
it."-Truth.
Jill-"Is Gin good judge of cigars"
BILL think he must be. He had two
last night and he gave ME one. He
must have kept the best one. '-Yon-
kers Statesman.
A bald-headed man tainted the other
day from the heat. He was very in-
dignant, when he was reyiying, at
hearing Cockney exclaim, Give him
halr-give him haire'
'"The horse has another point of ST.
periority over the Wheel" What Is
it? when horse is getting ready to
shy at anything, you can tell 1t by his
ears" -Chicago Record.
Hall-"What are you doing now"
Gallon, I'm making house-to.
house canvass to ascertain why people
don't want to buy new patent clothes
wringer. ''-Chicago News.
Darling" he cried, Il cannot live
without you" But" she replied, my
father is bankrupt" in that case" he
despondently replied, Il guess I'll go
and shoot myself. Chicago News.
eacher-"Don't any of you know
how to find mountains on the map?
Now, look at this map of Alaska. What
Is that row or chain Of dark, round
spots?' Glass Din chorus)- Nuggets"
Puck.
Alice-"What gallant person Mr..
tc ar
without beginning Fair miss" Dor
othy-"Oh, that's force of habit He
used to be a street-car CONDUCTOR
Cleveland Leader.
Bowery Bill-"Say, young Teller, you
ought to stop smokin cigarettes. Dey
amt good fer yer" Cholly'-"Wwhy
notT' Bowery Bullock how nerv-
Gus yer get just cause gen'Pman asks
yer fer llght."-Puck.
Teacher-"Well, Jane, what is your
fathers business?" Jane-"He's col.
lector, num- Teacher-"And for
whom does he collect money" Jane
He doesn't collect money. He's col.
lector of gs.'-Boston Ideas.
She-"But surely you believe that ne
sins of the father are visited on the
childrenT He-"Rather My COVER
nor promised to let me have flyer this
morning; but he lost 1t at poker last
night, so l didn't get itr'-Punch.
Boswell" said DR.. Johnson, meet
ing the biographer on the street, Il
have been reading your manuscripts.
There is a great deal about yourself in
them. They seem to me to be YOU
moirs rather than Memoirs. Puck.
Shelf you could have one wish,
what would it beY' He-"It would be
that-that-oh, If 1 only dared to tell
you what it would be-" She-"Well,
go on. Why do you suppose l brought
up the wishing subject |-Chlcago
News
Mrs. Porkley-"1 often wonder how
people manage to understand each
other in France" Mrs. Gotham-"How
absurd" Mrs. Porkley-"Well, both
my daughters speak French, and they
can't understand each other -Up-to-
Date.
Proprietor average hotel)-"Very
sorry, sir, but you will have to leave
this house at once" Guest-"Goodness
me. What have l done?" Proprietor
(solemnlyl-"You said something to q
waiter which has displeased the cook"
yellow Book
Lady interviewing housemaid)-
why did you leave your last place"
observation-disclosures the master kiss
ed me, num-" Lady-"And you didn't
like 1t, eh?' Housemaid-"Oh, / did
mt mind it, mum, but the mistress did
mt like itv'-Fun.
Miss Quickstep-"What part Of town
are we driving through, Mr.. Fibble"
Fweddy-"I haven't the least Idea"
Miss Quickstep-"I was aware of that.