Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1898-09-08
HIS MEERSCHAUM.

ting even with their associate known
as the proctor for the many FRANKS he
had played on them, when he entered
the Jury room in the county courthouse,
where they were seated, and exposed
to their admiring gaze a new meer-
schaum pipe.
Ii was handsome pipe, and the
proctor. who claims to have had large
admiralty practice, called attention to
miniature schooner rugged ship carved
ON the neck of the pipe, saying:
"This pipe was given to me by GER
tain Judge will not mention his
name-of the United States court as
slight recognition of the valuable infor-
nation | gave to him on international
law i'm regard To prizes taken by our
naval commanders during this war
with Spain
More than one bencher allowed de-
risive smile To rest for "A moment on his
clean shaver face ut these boastful
words of the proctor, and the one
called the Judge, with wink of his
left eye at the other old fellows, in
CURED:
whats the matter with you today,
proctor? You don't look well.
The solicitor smiled at the judge and
muttered something about pipes and
liver complaints, while the proctor ex
claimed;
"Why, really, l never felt better in
my life. Not even on that glorious day
when libcled the good ship the Betsy
Ann, as she lay in Bowery bay in
1S71"-
Here the proctor stopped and filled
his pipe with navy cut tobacco-he
couldn't have smoked any other kind
and lighted it, After he had pulled
away for few seconds he pulled the
new meerschaum pipe from his mouth
gazed fondly at it, first ON one side,
then on the other, replaced it between
his lips, blew forth cloud of smoke,
removed the pipe from his mouth, ex-
amined it again carefully, rubbed it
gently with "a silk handkerchief and
placed it in his mouth once more
After the proctor had gone through
this operation score of times the judge
i'm an apparent aside but loud enough
i for the proctor to hear-remarked to
the other beuchers:
"Strange how many men have died
from smoking meerschaum pipes. y
The proctor moved uneasily on his
chair, while the solicitor said: Yes,
4 there was old Colonel B--r; smoked
cigars until he was 73 years Old and
! then some one gave him meerschaum
\ pipe. He smoked il for three weeks, and
contracted cancer of the tongue. T"
"What happened to him them" broke
III the proctor.
"He had his tongue cut out F" Here
! the solicitor hesitated second, gazed
sorrowfully at the proctor and added.
"And died of starvation.
Il know Of just such a caseP eX-
claimed another bencher. "a classmate
of mine at college colored meerschaum
beautifully, but did not live long after
ward-cancer too.
lit isn't possible" exclaimed the
proctor, as he blew weak little curl
ing line Of smoke from his mouth.
"Yos-it is true We warned him
told him of lots of fellows who had
gone the meerschaum pipe route but all
in vain.
The proctor smoked on in silence for
awhile, then he examined his pipe again
with an effort to appear cheerful and
called upon the other old fellows to ex-
anime it, remarking at the same time:
"Sce how it is beginning to color
The bow of the ship is turning yellow F."
l.. Il. 1 al
judge. Il don t see any yellow +"
Not a btu exclaimed the solicitor
lyon are getting the jaundice, and
everything looks yellow to you. "
With il trembling hand the proctor
slowly replaced the pipe between his
lips while the councillor said:
Remarkable how smoking a meer-
schaum pipe will ruin mans liver /
once knew a fellow who smoked one for
only two days and then died from an
enlarged liver :"
And then the heart, broke in an
other bencher. "That sensitive organ is
nearly always affected by meerschaum
pipe smoking. Several of my friends
have dropped off suddenly from smok-
ing these Id meerschaums. {"
"But sadder yet, said another
there's the sight Three men in my
class in the law school went blind from
smoking meerschaum pipes. >
"And then the brain, remarked still
another bencher "How it softens and
becomes weak from meerschaum pipe
smoking
BY this time the proctor's pipe was
burned out. His face was several shades
paler His lips twitched and his eyes
were watery as he gazed sadly on his
new pipe while the judge said:
And gentlemen, how many men
have died from cancer of the stomach
from smoking meerschaum pipes"
II don't feel very well, " broke in
the proctor. 81 feel dizzy.
Brain!" exclaimed the judge, with
a sorrowful glance at the proctor
''Heartl" said another.
"Incipient enlargement of his liverl'
suggested still another.