The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1898-01-19

else and potatoes
"Gymnastie is an exercise. You do
that with dumb poles. ~ Hartford
Times.
BUeklen's Arnica Salve.
The Best Salve in the world for Cuts,
Bruises, Sores, Ulcers, salt Rheum, Fe-
yer Sores, letter, Chapped Hands,
Chilblains, COrns, and all Skin Erup-
tions, and positively cures Piles, or no
pay required. II is guaranteed to give
perfect satisfaction or money refunded.
Price . cents per box. For sale at
n. Snyder's Drug Store, Somerset, Pa,
or G.. w. Brallier's Drug Store, Ber-
in, Pa.
81 hyah dah's heap o. talk bein'
said bout de public policy o. dis here
country" remarked Miss Mama
Brown.
YES" replied Mr.. Erastus Pinkly.
'Dar ain none around hyah. But I
mus say De policy dat's played in pri-
vate is jes' ez hahd ter beat. Wash
ingtOn Star.
Stranger slipping him silver dol
lar - Policeman, here's little pres
ent. Now tell me, on the dead where
/ can find qaiet little game going on.
Policeman (Poeketing the dollar
Thanky, sir. There isa't any quiet
little game going on anywhere in town,
sir.-Chicago Tribune.
had the rheumatism 80 badly that
/ could not get my hand to my head.
l tried the doctors medicine without
the least benefit. At last | thought of
ChamberIain's Pain Balm; the first
bottle relieved all Of the pain, and one
half Of the second bottle effected COM
plete cure.-W. J. Holland, Holland,
Va Chamberlain's Pain Balm is
equally good for sprdins, swellings aud
lameness, as well as burns, cuts and
bruises, for sale at all drug stores.
"Do you see the man and the wom-
amp
"fes, ! see the man and the woman -
"DO you think they are marrieden
''NO. They are not married.
why do you think they are not
married?"
Because he mas asked her If she OBJ
jects 10 smoking, and she has replied d
that she loves the smell Of smoke."-
Cleveland Leader.
Look at the big sums Peary and
Nansen are taking in."
ayes; and look at me-been courting
a Boston heiress a whole year and
haven't made a cen" Detroit Free
Press.
o. w. o. Hardman, when sheriff of
Tyler Co, w. Va, was, at one time, al
most p-ostrated with "A cold. He used
Chamberlain's Cough Remedy and was
50 much pleased with the quick relief
and cure it afforded him, that he gave
the following unsolicited testimonial:
10 all who may be interested, 1
wish TO say, that 1 have used Chamber
lain's Cough Remedy aud find it in
valuable for coughs and colds" For
sale by all drrlpUisfs
Patient-DOctOr, this is an awful bill
of yours.
The dOctOr-I saved your life, sir.
Patient-But now don't want to live.
Detroit Free Press.
DR.. Smiley-Ah, professor, is your
little one boy or a girl?
Prof. Dremey-Why-er-yes. We
call it joint must bel a boy thilk.
Judge.
Chappy-Aw, weally, I'm getting
uneasy. They're applying science t.
everything, dOncherknow. They're
even trying to invent m1chins to tell
what fellah's thinking.
Maud-YOu have no reason to be dis
tlrbed. u p-to-Dlte.
81 thought you told me you could do
plain sewing?"
so can, ma'am"
look at these stitches; l can see
them clear across the room"
"Well, amt that plain enough for
you"
sit was almost a miracle Burdock
Blood Bitters cured me Of a terrible
breaking out all over the body. lam
very grateful" Miss Julia Filbridgc,
West Cornwell, Conn.
Fond Mother-Oh, Peter, Peter,
thought | told you not to play with
your soldiers on sunday.
Peter-But 1 call them the Salvation
Army on Sunday.
Cats have more sense than dogs"
''What makes you think sO?''
'You never see a eat hanging around
a man who has kicked it."-Chieago
Record.
Ju1ge-Fifty dollars and costs.
Prisoner-But it is impossible for me
u raise that amount at once, your
honor.
Judge-Then take your timc-six
mOnths.-ChicagO News.
The Force of Habit.
''The habits we form in our youth -
said the self-made philosopher, ''stie K
TO US all through life, no matter h, W
hard we may try to shake them of.
Now, there's QuakersOn, for instance,
who was brought up in Philadelphh-
look at him ~
"Why, what's he been doing?''
Haven't you heard? He's got the
creeping paralysis r'-Chicago News.
Prosperity as Leader.