Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1898-09-15
THE END.
A TlPPLER'S JOKE,
1t Was of the Practical Kind and Might
Have Resulted Seriously.

1
Have Resulted Seriously.
| Ono Of tho best known mon about town,
who died fcw years ago, often told
practical joke that was played on him
which forever loft its mark. Tho man In
question was great sportsman, and moth
ing could keep him away from angling
and shooting when there was Tho lcnst
| chance to do good days work In earlier
years he was in tho habit of going to
little village in Wisconsin famous for It's
well stocked streams. \ man named
Beech kept little hotel hero, and the colo
nel--we will coll him that-oftcn put up
with him. He arrived there one night in
/ July and retired soon after supper, deter
mined to get q good nights rest. Tho
landlord was In tho bar and somewhat
| worse for what he had imbibcd.
81 suppose l can have my old roomP"
said tho colonel rs no shook hands with
/ him.
Certainly, certainly, my boy. But
you'll have to sleep with tho major--you
know the ma ior-as tho house Ia full"
There may have bccn merry twinkle
in his eye as no said this, but the colonel
| took no notice of 1t. Yes, he know tho
major. Tho major was pleasant old
chap who had lived in the village for years
and made his headquarters at the tavern.
There was T. new moon that night, and the
colonel found it light enough to retro
without lamp. Besides, he didn't want
to disturb his roommate, who appeared to
be fast asleep. Very much fatigucd with
! his days tramp he ,tumblcd into bed and
was just doing Off when ho heard the door
/ open and some one como into the room. In
! the dim light the colonel distinguished tho
outlines Of young man and woman.
/ They sat down on the sofa, where the rnys
of tho moon fell upon them. The colonel
could not understand the situation, but he
waited to SEQ what would come Of it,
/ Dearest, said tho man in dulcet tones,
81 don't Arant you to have so much TO say
! to Billy Jones.
"Why, Charley, you know don't caro-
a rap for him. 1 lovo you. You ought to
know that"
There was kiss and then another. Tho
colonel nudgod his friend, the major, well
knowing that his sense of humor would
render tho sccnc all the moro enjoyable,
but he didn't move The sweet talk went
on very quietly and dccorously Again
! tho colonel jabbcd his bcdfcllow. Some
/ how the major was sleeping very soundly,
/ and the colonel raised himself on his elbow
md took his first good look ut him. I'M
aRino his horror when he discovered little
! square pieces of damp cloth over his eyes
/ and bandngc around his head TO keep his
! jaw in position. Tho major was dead
Tho colonel gave ono yell and sprang
from tho bed. Another bound and he was
out of the door and tearing down tho
stairs Not until he reached tho toproom
and swallowed large goblet of whisky
did he recover sufficiently from his fright
/ to ask for an explanation from the land
lord, who by this time was thoroughly in
! toxicatcd.
He confessed that he had played joke
on his guest and hoped it had not given
him much Of turn. Tho best part of the
joke was on tho young couple, who had
volunteered to sit up with tho corpse.
When the colonel jumped from tho bed
they thought it was vcrltablo rcsurrcc-
ton. The bold lover threw himself out
] of the window, and the girl tainted dead
away. a spraincd ankle was the extent Of
the injuries received by her sweetheart, the
landlord settling tho bill Tho landlord
was quickly sobcrcd by the commotion
but tho colonel never went back to that
place, no matter if the fish did bto better
thcro in July than anywhere else in Wis
consin. st. Louis Republic.