The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1898-11-24

EouTlf Fint. -GtfHHs.
Helen-Don't you think my new bon
net is a perfect dream: Mattie-lts
more han a dream. dear; It's a genn.
Inc nightmare.-Tid- Bits.
Ringolski-Poor Grabsteln. His vas
a sad death. Cohensteln-Ad der thea
ter, wasn't i'd? Ringolski-Yes, and
perfore der show vas halluf ofer.-
Judge.
A strong yarn: Blzz-So your wife
didn't detect that you had been drink
ing9 Flzz-No. The story | told took
my own breath away.-New York Jour
nal.
Mr.. Fizzington is quite a llnguist.
isn't he?" II never knew It," "Oh.
yes, he talks three languages" "What
are theyf" Horse, baseball, and golf"
Chicago News.
The Judge-You admit. then, that
you forged Mr.. Millions name to "a
number OF checksf The prisoner tair.
ily)-Yes. 1t was my fayorite nom de
plume.-Puck.
Il understand they wouldn't have
Joey In the regiment" NO. His heart
beat so fast they decided he couldn't
run a mile without eollapslng ."-Cleye-
land Plain Dealer.
Louise-I've fixed Kitty SO she viii
answer by letter at once. Belle-What
did you do? Loulse-l wrote her a
lot OF gossip. and forgot to sem the
middla ma Uaa -DneE
Mrs. G.. Smythe Gotrox ~(graciously)-
This portrait will make your reputa-
ton in this country, l am sure. m'sieu.
NJ. Coldinl tgallantlyl-And yours, also.
l trust, madame!-Life.
He-They can photograph the voice
now. She Goodness, | hope I'll never
live to see a picture Of the things YOU
say when your collar button drops
down your back.-Art In Dress.
Miss Scott-Yes; she has been say
Ing all manner Of wicked things about
me. Fr1end-YOu should not iced her.
dear. She merely repeats what other
people say.-Current Literature.
you had better not go boating with
sister," said Tommy to his sisters beau.
why not, Tommy?' Cause | heard
her say she intended to throw you over
board soon."-St. Louis Humorist.
Don't yon think" said the young
man. that literature is in "A stale of
declineT' "Unquestlonably." replied
the other; " It's IN a chronic state of de-
cllne-with thanks. Washington Star.
Jiggs-What is your opinion Of lOnesi
Blggs-He seems to think what he
thinks he knows he knows. but | know
he knows what he. knows he thinks
he knows Is false. Sce?-New York
News.
He-If l should kiss you. what would
you dof : She (startledJ-I never meas
ure an emergency unrIl 1t arises. lie
II this emergency arose now, how
would You meet II? She (eourageouslyD
Face to faee.-Tlt.BltS.
May-Oh, Harry. they have the most
beautiful little loekets at %StlfTany's,
with shamrocks. set In them. Harry
Yes, May, but wouldn't you rather walt
q little while and get one with a real
stone Seweler's Weekly.
A delicate operation: DR.. Pills-Yes.
old Milyuns was on the verge of ner-
vous prostration, all through worrying
about his money. DIR. Squills-How did
you cure him? Dir. pills Il removed
the cause OF the trouble, Life.
Edwin-You would not TAX that un-
Gle Of mine to be a sensitive plant at all.
would you? Reginald-He certainly
does not look it. Edwin-Well, he Is. Al
tempt to touch him, and he closes up
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. Enquirer.
Il observe in the public prints said
the scientific boarder, that a whales
tongue sometimes yields n ton of oil"
"If the whale Is as oily-tongued as
that" said the cheerful idiot, no won
der Jonah was taken n.s-Indianapo-
lis Journal.
"Ah." said the convict, hopelessly. IF
we could only have some OF the outside
benefits" What would YOU most pre-
fer, my good mani inquired the yisl
tor. We'll, sir, between you and me.
I think could be happy with a chain.
less wheel Judge.
Harry" said Mrs. Tredway to her
husband at the breakfast table, Il am
quite out OF money, aud | want 10 spend
the day shopping. Let me have sixty
cents" "What do you wan, sixiy cents
for?" Ten cents for carfare and fifty
cents for luncheon f'-Bazar.
Maud-If that young %Spoonamore had
been coming to see me rs persistently
as he's been coming TO see you. Id have
made him declare himself long before
this time. trenches. dear. | presume
that's the reason why he never went
to ses you.-Chicago Tribune.
You've talked enough now. Katie"
said her mother; children should he
seen and not heard" "Yon heard what
mother said.' protested Katie an hour
or two later, when the nurse WAS try
ang to persuade her it WAS lime TO 20
ia bed; 'children should he serene and
no hurried. ~ x.
Time remarks: Does this ear go as
far as One Minute street, asked a
passenger on "A Maract street trolley.
Never heard of IT," replied the con.
ductor. well. then. SiNt. second
street" smiled the passenger And the
conductor coughed and said. That's
hour terminus. Philadelphia North
American.
A traveller. meeting a settler near a
house in the back woods. The following
colloauy occurred: Whose house,
"Soegs'." whats 1t hullt off, Logs"