Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1898-01-08
Aumurous department.
BULLS AND BLUNDERS.

lebrity in the matter of bulls and blum.
ders. By the uninitiated these are
terms which are constantly confound.
ed but when they are looked into, it
will be seen there is the greatest differ.
ence between them. Blundering arises
from stupidity, and the stupid are a
race who are found all over the world ;
but the bull-a popularity that belongs
exclusively to Ireland-is always con-
nected with thought, and originates in
the imaginative power of its people.
1t is not at all a dull sbsurdity which
no one can comprehend-it is always
comprehensive even when it is most
confused. 1t proceeds not from want,
but the superabundance of ideas, which
crowd on each other so fast in an Irish.
mans pericanium that they get jammed
together, so to speak, in the doorway
of his speech, and only tumble out in
their ordinary disorder.
Confusion may, indeed, be called q
notional characteristic. Itpervades all
Irish history. If the stream of the
latter in early days has it's CLEANS OF
bright tranquility, sorely troubled does
it become as it descends the steps of
time, till, as it flows on in the latter
ages, it encounters obstructions, politl-
cal and religious, which give it turmoil
and perplexity that we cannot survey
without deploring. As with the affairs
of unhappy Ireland, so has il ever been
with the peasantry. Public and social
disorders have communicated jar to
the brains of Pat and, if he can be
accused now and then of being little
erratic in his sayings and doings, he
can at least console himself by point
ing to a long historical authority. He
may say:
"Arrah /! now, why wouldn't I be
confused q? Wasn't all of us confused,
and from the airliest times, and isn't a
man to be consistent? Would you
have him turn his coat when scarcely
a rag of it is left him ?"
A good example of q bull may be
cited in the case of two Irishmen who,
fancying that they knew each other,
crossed the street to shake hands. On
discovering their error, ~ beg your
pardon" cried the one. "Oh, don't
mention it," said the other. "lt's a
mutual mistake; you see thought it
was you, and you thought it was me,
and, after all, it was neither of ~!
A good pendant to this is told of two
friends who met, and referred to the
illness of a third:
"Poor Michael Hogan! Faith, I'm
afraid he's going to die"
"And why would he die ?"
"Oh, he's got so thin You're thin
enough, and I'm thin but by my sowl,
Michael Hogan is thinner than both OF
us put together !"
A bull is sometime produced by the
false use of word, as in the case of
an Irish watchman giving evidence at
a police Office:
"What is this mans offence ?"
"He was disorderly, your worship,
in the strates, last night"
"And did you give him warning be-
fore you took him into custody? ?'
81 did, your worship; I said to him,
tDisparse ="
Again, a bull may be occasioned by
q confusion of identities, as when it
was said Of an ugly man that he was
handsome when an infant, but he was
unluckily changed at nurse; or as it
was shown in the fervor of a girl who,
desiring her lovers miniature, and he
fearing it might lead to discovery
"Oh, it needn't" she exclaimed "lll
tell the painter not to make it like
you!"
And again, bull may be owing to
a limited amount of knowledge, as in
the case of an old woman going to the
chandler's for farthing candle, and
being told it was raised to half-penny
on account of the Russian war: "Bad
luck to them !" she exclaimed "and
do they fight by candle light?"
Apart, however, from all these, the
ordinary sayings of the Irish have an
imaginative quality which is just as
characteristic, and not at all confusing.
As, for instance, when they say of a
man who is irretrievably ruined :
"Saltpetre wouldn't save him, and
that is strong pickle 5" or when they
would advise another to avoid arrest {:
"Be off while your shoes are good !"
or, as they delicately say of an elder
ly lady whose number of years they
forbear to mention, "a kitten of her
age wouldn't play with cork"
And apart from all these, again, is
the genuine humor of the Irish, which
has nothing of the bull in it whatever,
but, on the contrary, the clearest no,
tions, and very often the shrewdest
sense. We will only cite couple of
instances, which will not be the less
welcome if they happen to have been
heard before:
A gentleman seeing an Irishman stag
gering home from fair, observed to
him:
"Ah, Darby, I'm afraid you'll find
the road you're going is rather longer
one than you think"
"Sure, your HONOR" he replied, "it's
not the length of the road care
about; its the breadth of it is destroy