davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-12-29
HUMOROUS.

She-Are you food of canoeing.
He-Immense. You don't have to
take off your clothes when you battle.
George, don't you see that Jane
is taking your candy?" 81 don't care
It's the kind that always makes her
SICK"
The Maid-What makes you think
she hasn't any children? The Matron
She was telling me how to raise
mine.
Why is o horse the most curious
feeder in the world? Because he eats
best when he has not bit in his
mouth.
81 can't understand Claudia?"
"Why not?" "She always is SO much
more intimate with desirable people
than they are with her,"
Barnes Tormer-The true art of
acting is to make an audience forget
you are an actor. Watts-You seem
to do that easily enough.
'The DOCTOR" said the young moth
er, 'says baby ought to have one cows
milk for his daily drink. Now, really,
isn't that entirely too much?"
''But how can you have the heart
to deprive the poor heather of their
land?" "They would never learn the
dignity of labor if we didn't"
Madame Theosophia-Tel me, have
you ne7er seen Vision? Never well
coined some strange Spirit from the
Unseen World. Mrs. Sinclair Never.
But then 1 entertain so little.
Rack Seat-Where did you get your
eari ings, and when did you have your
ears pierced? Front Seat (scornfully)
Talk tandem, please. They were
punctured about month ago.
First Criminal--So Bill, the cracks
man, is in the tolls at last. Second
Criminal-Yes, he escaped arrest so
many times that he finally got fool
hardy and rode his bicycle without
bell.
"Now that you have lost your job
rs surgeon i'll the regiment, what do
You expect to do?" ooh, I'm all
right. I've opened up little Office
just around the corner from afootball-
playing college"
Once upon time a man rose polite
ly and offered his seat in street car
to a woman. ooh, thank you." cried
the woman at once. This fable teaches
among other things that unconvention-
ality is infectious, SO to speak.
81 guess, said Rubberneck Bill, in
his most rasping tones, when the
waiter handed him napkin, 81 guess
L got manners enough not to wipe my
hands on your durn tablecloth, with
out you handin' me that thing"
81 am astonished," said the scoffer,
'to hear you compare our glorious
country to small boy getting his face
washed" "Me?" said the oratorical
patriot. 'rHow? When?" "When
you said it was impossible for the ma
tion to stand STILL"
He-Thera is something 1 have
wanted to say to you for long, long
time. She (demurely) - Well-don't
don't you think this is as good a
time as = as any to say it? He-That
mole on the left side of your nose I
know surgeon who can remove such
things without bit of danger. They
adjourned sine die that evening.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-12-29
WH'Y2

Why is it that a free lunch is never
free?
Why isn't asking a mans name a
question of identity?
Why isn't the bride well dressed
who is well groomed?
Why shouldn't man be excused for
being bigoted against bigotry?
Why isn't the bump Of caution
placed on the front Of mans head?
Why does the average woman pre-
fer being idealized to being under
stood?
Why does the man who pats you on
the back always turn his own back to
be patted?
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-12-29
To euro A Cold in One Day.
Take Laxative Bromo Qunine Tablets. All
Druggists refund money fit fails to cure. $50.

William Reed, of Fredericksburg,
Va, has secured from the Chancellors-
Vile battlefield novel relic of the war
of 1So1-65. 1t is an open pocketknife,
over the blade of which has grown
about three inches of the white oak
tree, into the trunk of which the knife
wss evidently stuck by a soldier and
then forgotten. The three inches of
wood represents the growth Of the tree
since that time.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-12-29

We offer One Hundred Dollsrs Reward for
any ca e of Catarrh that cannot b, cured by
Halls Catarrh Cu'e.
f. J. CHENEY & Co., P, ops, Toledo, o.
We, the undersigned. have known +. J. Che
ney o, the la t 10 years. and believe h m per-
fectly onort BILE in all business an ac tions
ana financially able to carry out any obliga-
ton m de by their firm.
WEST e. TRUAx, Wholesale Druggists, Toledo
Oh o.
WALDiNo, KINNAN & MARVIN, Wholesale
Druggists Toledo, Ohio.
Hall Catarrh Cure is taken in ernally, ret
Ing directly upon the blood and mucous sur
jaces of tn system. Price, 75c. pc bottle, Sold
by all ID. uggists. Testimonials free.
Halls Family Pills are the best.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-12-29
Cost of Launching a WarshIn

The total cost of the launch of Q
modern battleship often amounts to
over $4,000. About five tons of tai
low and over ton Of Oil and soft soap
are used in greasing the ways-that is,
the slip down which the cradle in
which the vessel is placed, glldes into
tho sea
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-12-29
Beauty Is blood Deep.

Clean blood means a clean skin. No
beauty without it. Cascarets, Candy Cathar.
tic clean your blood and keep it clean, by
stirring up the lazy liver and driving all i'm
purities from the body. Begin to-day to
Danish pimples, boils, blotches, blackheads,
and that sicllly bilious complexion by taking
Cascarets,-beauty for ten cents. All drug.
gists, satisfaction guaranteed, l0c, 25c, 50c.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-12-29

Lady-Where is your son today
Mrs. Murphy? hope he isn't Ill. Mrs
Murphy-Sure, Mikes to be married to.
merry, ma'am, an he's gone to bed to-
day whole OF washes his troosaw for
him.-Ally Sloper.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-12-29

The Japanese newspapers are rejoic-
Ing over the invention by a native
genius of a machine for rolling tea.
The great cost of the production of tea
lies in the labor. Each individual leaf
must be plucked from the plant and
handled with the fingers several times
before it can be sent to market.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-12-29
AdaptibiIity.

Mrs. A.-"Didn't you think Mrs.
Whipley very refined woman?" Mrs.
D.-"She was vulgar to me-" "Well,
she is adaptable"
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-12-29

In the code and sacred books of the
Parsees no provision is made for cap
ital punishment, but culprit is to be
beaten with thongs a number of blows,
proportioned to his offense, and if he
succumbs no one is to blame.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-12-29

Everybody knows that Dobbins' Electric
eoap is the best In the world, and for 80 years
It has sold at the highest price. Its price is
now cents, same as common brown soap.
Bars full size and quality. Order Of grocer. Adu
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-12-29
Doa't Tobacco Spit and Smoke Your Life Away,

To quit tobacco easily and forever, be mag.
netic. full Of life, nerve and vigor, take No-To-
Bac, the wonder-worlser. that makes weak men
strong. All druggists, SOC or ei. Cure guaran-
teed. Booklet and sample free. Address
Sterling Remedy Co, Chicago or New York
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-12-29
81 DO MY OWN WORK"
So Says Mrs. Mary Rochiette Of
Linden, Now Jersey, in this
Letter to Mrs. Pinkham.

"I was bothered with flow which
would be quite annoying at times, and
at others would almost stop.
81 used prescriptions given me by my
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-12-29

H. Fl. GREENS SoNs of Atlanta, Ca, are
the only successful Dropsv Specialists in the
world. See their liberal Offer in advert. e.
ment in another column of this paper.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-12-29

Mexico has more than 1000 miles of
railroads. Thirty-eight of the railways
are subsidized by the Government.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-12-29

From strangling with Group, by check
ing it at once with Hoxsie's Group
Cure. so cts. A. P. HoXsie, Buffalo,
N Y
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-12-29

Piso's Cure is the medicine to break up
BLUNT, Sprague, Wash, March s, 1891.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-12-29
All for One Price.

what lovely new coiffure Miss
Oldtimer has. Where did she get the
style?" "That comes with the hair"
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-12-29

Russia exports 4SO,OOO.OOo eggs an
nually.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-12-29

Belfast's shipbuilding firm has or
dered steel ship plates of an Illinois
steel company.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-12-29

Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup for children
teething, sQftens the gums, reduces inhamma-
ton. allaSs pain. cures wind collie. 25c bottle
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-12-29

No-To-Bac for Fifty Cents.
Guaranteed tobacco habit cure, makes weak
men strong, blood pure SOC, 81. All druRgist2
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-12-29

Two-thirds of. Japans bicycles are
American wheels.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-12-29

To Cure Constipation Forever.
Take Cascarets Candy Cathnrtic. 10c or 25o
II @. @. G. fail to cure, druggists refund money
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-12-29

South Carolina boasts fSOO,3 cotton
spindleS
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-12-29

DR.. Seth Arnold's Cough Killer has no
New York, Nov. II, 1897. 25c. bottle.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-12-29

United States contains $4,000 type
writer's.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-12-29

cine, and have certainly been greatly
benefited by its use
Lydia e. Pinkham's Vegetable Com
pound has indeed been friend to me.
g l am now able to do my own work,
thanks to your wonderful medicine. l
was as near death believe as could
be, so weak that my pulse scarcely beat
and my heart had almost given out. /
could not have stood it one week more,
/ am sure. / never thought 1 would
be so grateful to any medicine.
81 shall use my influence with any
one suffering as I did, to have them
use Lydia e. Pinkham's Vegetable
Compound"
Every woman that is puzzled about
her condition should secure the sympa-
thetic advice of woman who under
stands. Write to Mrs. Pinkham at
Lynn. Mass. and tell her your ills.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-12-29

physician, b'
same state
of affairs
continued.
" After q
time l was
taken with |
a flooding,
that 1 was
obliged to
keep my bed.
Finally, in
despair, 1
gave up my
tor, and b.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-12-29

Educate Your Bowels with Cascarets.
Candy Cathartic, cure constipation forever
t0c. 25c. II c. G. G. fail, druggists refund money.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-12-29

BdVC UP my uUC"
tor, and began
taking your medi-
The age-herald., 1898-12-30

ing during the season that portion of society that is not included when it comes to the hard routine work of club life, was followed by the Aurora club this season, and last night the young girls in the club invited number of their yong gentlemen friends to their holiday reception, at the handsome home of MT. and Mrs Conner.
 The occasion was delightful one in every way.
 The following young people were present: Misses Katherine Conner, Bevelle Conner Roberta Adams, Gertrude Ault Kate Brad shaw, Fannie Lee Clabough, Jamie Curry Emma Cowan Elise Eatherly, Fannie Fell Alice Graham, Anna Green, Carol Grey Grace Hardie, Ava Heidt, Annie Henley, Edith Johnston, Ala King, Bessie I.eGrand Sarah Luckie, Josie McClintock, Florence McCrossin, Mattic Monroe Flora Orr Ben nle Flossee, Annie Reid, Jamie Robertson, Louise Rushton, Elizabeth Snedccor George Weatherly and Edna Snow Messrs. Owen Watkins, Robert Cabaniss, George Nance, Wilson Cccie, Tom Bradley, Tom Bowron Ben Catchings, James Cowan will Caldwell, John Byrd, Clarence Ballard Fred Green, Gerald Howze, Chester Alexander August Koenig, Malvern Jones, James Dwyer, Will Kilgore, Louis Stalworth, Rob- ert Matthews, Mac Vanhoose, Will Mon- roe. Tom Taylor, Louis Pattie, Milburn Smith, Walter Robertson, Charles Robert son, Bert Clifford, Arthur Koenig, Victor Randolph, James Caldwell, Frank Rushton, Robert Bailey, Joe Smith, Paul Earl, Geo. Morrow and Eugene Enslen.
The age-herald., 1898-12-30
The Female William.

In penny fiction, says a writer in Black woods magazine, you can tell them from distance by their hair of raven black ness and by their dusky cheeks tinted with vivid carmine They look like beautiful demons, and their speech betrayeth them for, depend upon it, no really good woman habitually uses the expietiye "Bahi' Jeal- ousy is the one characteristic they have in common with the heroines. They think nothing of making love to the hero in the most brazen manner, and when he coolly rejects their proffered affection, this sort of thing happens: Slowly she raises herself until she stood before him in all her ma jestic beauty; then she hissed rather than spoke: You have despiscd my love; henceforth you shall know what my hatred means" In spite of the march of intel feet, the spretal injuria formae seems stlll to be a recognized spring of conduct.
The age-herald., 1898-12-30
A California Belle
Weeds an Army Officer

Miss Frances Terrell, of Los Angeles, Cal, and Lieutenant Henson Estes, of the Twentieth Infantry, U. s. A., were married yesterday at the California home of the bride. The wedding, as was previously an nounced, was appointed for the 18th of January, and was to have been celebrated with great brilliancy. The Twentieth In- fantry in which Lieutenant Estes Is an officer, expecting any moment to sail for Manila, hastened the happy event, and Mrs Estes will accompany her husband to the famed Spanish city.
 Lieutenant Estes is the son of MT and Mrs George Henson Estes, of Birmingham and a nephew of MT. William Bussey and MT. w. G. Estes. Although he has been in the army since his graduation at West Point, he is well known in Alabama and Georgia, where he is well connected with many fine old families.
 It will be recalled that lieutenant Estes was in the siege of Santiago. His bride is a wealthy California girl and young wo- mapsof delightful personality.
The age-herald., 1898-12-30
FASTEST IN WORLD.
Speedy Schedule Arranged Over Lake
 Shore & Michigan Southern.

Cleveland, O., December 29-As a result of meeting of the division superintendents of the Lake Shore and Michigan Southern railroad, just held here to re-arrange time tables, it is announced that the new fast mail which is to be started next Sunday between New York and San Francisco will be the fastest regular train in the world which goes as great a distance in as short a time, every day in the year. The new train schedule will reduce the time between Buffalo and Chicago from fifteen hours and twenty-five minutes to thirteen hours and fifteen minutes, a reduction of two hours and ten minutes. The total reduction in time between New York and Frisco over the present schedule is a little over thirteen hours.
The age-herald., 1898-12-30
sssssNs
 .IN SOCIETY. 5

The Edgewood club will be lat home" this evening with MT. and Mrs. J. F. Gra- ham, on the South Highlands.
 Miss Jamie VanHoose gave a beautiful dinner party on Wednesday evening to a number of her friends.
 MT. and Mrs. Loui Hart have returned from Gadsden and are at home to their friends at the residence of Mrs. Hart's pa rents, MT. and Mrs. A. O.. Lane. -,.
 MT. and Mrs. Harry Jones have issued in- vitations to card party Wednesday even ing, January 4, in honor of Mrs. Louis AL exander May.
 MT. Fletcher Conner is spending the hol- idays with his parents, Mr and Mrs. B. B. Conner.
 MT. Gerald Howze is at home this week from the University of Alabama.
 number of the younger set will enjoy
The age-herald., 1898-12-30

them out in the open in the full sweep of the American fire.
 Some of them ran to head off the pig and others rushed up behind to catch him. The pig wheeled and dodged and the soldiers wheeled and lodged after him. Their voices rose in a chorus of Spanish shouts Up and down went the pig; when a sol- dier's hands were on him he would make a twist and wriggle himself away. Once he made a long run straight toward the Amer lean line; 1t did not help him, or the sol- diers were after him, entirely disregardng the battle. Some of them headed him off again, and in another moment an athletic young soldier had seized first his tail and then his legs. Still another moment, and the pig, firmly held, was on his way back to the trenches, riding on the shoulder of this young man, his foreegs gripped by one hand and his hind legs by the other
 The soldiers resumed their places in the trench; the one who had the pig put him back into the thatch-roofed building and presently returned to his own place and took up his gum
 It is safe to say that during the chase Of the pig no American soldier who saw the affair discharged his gun at the group. The Americans who saw it were too full of ad- miration and astonishment to add to the dangers which the audacous Spaniards were under; but thousands of Americans who could not see the incident were blaz- ing away in that direction, and the Span iards who were chasing the pig must have heard great many bullets whisting about their ears during their performance
 The Americans who were within view of the occurrence were confirmed by 1t in the opinion which they had begun to form al- ready, that the people at home who had told them that the Spaniards were towards did not know what they were talking about
The age-herald., 1898-12-30
Pretty French SentimentaIity.

The Journal, which is one-of the most in- fuential of latter-day French newspapers, published recently a paragraph on a duel which a member of its staff had fought with lawyer named NJ. More There was a woman in it, too, and the terms employed by the Journal thow a curious side-light upon the chivalry of some of the writing and fighting classes in France:
 We have had the happiness to learn that the wound received yesterday by Lawyer Morel is more serious than was supposed at first. Considering that 1t is complicated with bad disease, there are good grounds for hoping that this wound will have seri- ous consequences"
The age-herald., 1898-12-30
RUNAWAY PIG AT FL CANEY.
An Episode Not Down in the Official Re-
 port of the Battle.

From the Youths Companion.
 On July l, 1898, when the battle at Cahey was hottest, a curious commotion among the Spanish soldiers was visible in one of the trenches which defended the town. These trenches were all on the outskirts of the town and frequently were immediately in front of buildings. The place was in habited at the time of the attack, and bull lets and shells went flying through the flimsy houses. There were several horses in the town, some of which were seen rush. ing about the streets during the lombard ment There were few cattle, including superb bull kept for the performances in the bullring at Santiago, near by. This fine animal was uninjured during the fight, but he was "looted' by the Cubans after the town was taken, and ignomiously led by the nose to the main Cuban camp, to be slaughtered for food for the insurgent SOL diers
 There were also animals of another sort. as the incident to which allusion has been made proved. Toward the middle of the day the watching American soldiers on the nearest line saw a half-grown pig come running out of low-thatched building in- side the Spanish trenches. in the direction of the American position.
 I1NuueHtiy ne Hdu been lOuSed under the thatch-roofed house just behind the trench, In the free-and-easy domestic manner in which Cuban pigs are taken care of. A bull let or a shell had invaded his retreat shat tered his enclosure, set him free and scared him almost to death at the same time.
 The Spanish soldiers ceased their firing as the pig escaped, and there was commo- tion among them. Presently this commo- tion resolved itself into a rush of several soldiers out of the trench and in the djrec- tion of the pig. Soon there were fifteen of
The age-herald., 1898-12-30
Notice to Contractors.
Office of City Engineer,
Manager. Savannah. Ga.

Birmingham, Ala, December 2S, 1898. Sealed proposals will be received at this office until 12 o'clock noon, Wednesday, January 4. 1899. for certa grading, macad- amizing, curbing and storm sewer construc- ton in the neighborhood of Beeler's Station. Plans, specifications, forms of proposal, and estimates of quantities may be obtained at this office.
 Certified check for $50, made payable to the mayor and aldermen of Birmingha m must accompany each bid.
 Bond will be requ red to the amount of S3,000
 Right is reserved to reject any and ell bids.
 (Signed) JULIAN KENDRICK l2-2S-td City Engineer.
The age-herald., 1898-12-30
Receivers Notice.
To the Creditors of Corona Coal and Coke

Company.
 Under and in obedience to decree of the ehancery court of Jefferson county, rem dered November 29. 1898, the undersigned, receivers of the Corona Coal and Coke com pany, hereby give notice to all creditors of said company, and to all persons having claims of any kind against it, to present the same to the undersigned receivers, duly verified, at the Peoples Savings Bank and Trust company, at No. 1907 Second avenue, Birmingham, Alabama, on or before Febru- ary 15. 1899, or the same will be forever barred.
 HENRY B. CRAY.
 T. c. CULVERHOUSE, JAMES J. GARRETT Receivers.
 Counsel. December IT. 1898.
The age-herald., 1898-12-30
Two Newspapers Sold

Pana, H., December 29.-The Peoria Transcript and Evening Times were pur- chased today by H. M. Pindel. Both pa- pers will cease publication at once. The Transcript is the oldest paper in the city, but of late years has been a losing invest ment. The Times was started about four years ago as penny evening sheet. and was controlled by the Transcript company.
The age-herald., 1898-12-30
The Aurora Clubs Holiday Function.

A charming coterie of yong girls in their prettiest frocks received last evening with Miss Bevelle Conner and Miss Katherine Conner at the home of their parents, MT. and Mrs. B. B. Conner, on South Highlands. The occasion was a reception of the Aurora club-a club that holds it's own with much older, and presumably more learned clubs. The pretty custom that prevails among the literary clubs of receiving at least one even-
The age-herald., 1898-12-30
Meeting of Department of
 Philantr0phy of WOman's Club

Mrs. R. D. Johnston, director of the de- partment of philan,nropy of the woman's club, calls a meeting of her department to- morrow at 3:30 o'clock al the Woman's club. She cordially invites all who are interested In this department to be present, and urges large attendance of those who have al- ready joined the department of philan- thropy.
The age-herald., 1898-12-30

men; man who laughs an ediotic laugh every time he says anything; scores of men with the caboose of their trousers worn smooth as glass; men vho can tell you about how the war question should be set tied, the weather, and how to run other peoples business, but who have made a dismal failurespf their own.
The age-herald., 1898-12-30

shaped like vessels hull from sailor tarns that are marked with the name of the ships in Dewey's squadron and the dates of his victories.
 An original souvenir for the players is the old familiar plug hat of Uncle Sam, filled with torpedo and shell bonbons.
The age-herald., 1898-12-30
Unique Idea for a Euchre.

It is called the Dewey" and the decora- tions are in red, white and blue. The ices are frozen to represent the ace card and served in admiral caps of red, white and blue, with Olympia" stamped upon them in white letters. Tropical fruits are sup piled from miniature launches, little cake