davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1898-09-13
Met a Whisky Drummer.

ct wonder whether it is against the law
to kill a whisky drummer" said a traveller
in the notion line who makes New Orleans
every few months, according to the Times
Democrat because if it isn't, I want
to spill the gore of one who is in town
now He has made me lose one of my
best customers; and has seriously dam
aged my reputation; moreover, he has
made me tell several lies. You see, he
looks a good deal like me, and this morn
ing when I was starting out, with a darby
carrying my grip, 1 met him in front of
the hotel. He also was just starting out,
and also had a coon Juggling his samples.
Being a laxative chap, he held me half
an hour or so while our darlxies doZed on
the curbstone When we parted one of
EN- took after me, and one of EN- after
him. I supposed, of course, that I had the
right African, but it turned out l hadn't.
AS I remarked before the whisky drum
rner resembles me somewhat only he is
not so handsome. The negro, 1 suppose,
was half asleep. Anyhow, l made a bee
line for Mr. Blank, who as you may know,
is a great church member and a crank
on prohibition. He has been my biggest
customer here for years, and I always try
TO humor him. Well, l found him at his
mail and very busy. I'll come again., 1
said but while I'm here l want to show
you just one article 1 think you will par
ticularly like With that 1 threw open
the sample case, and there by Jovel lay a
row of bottles marked, Best Kentucky
Sour Mash 1 nearly tainted, and was
so taken aback I couldn't say word for
five minutes. Old Blank thought it was a
practical joke aimed at his prohibition ten
denotes, and was mad as blazes. The
fantastic explanations into which l launch
ed had about as much effect as a plaster
dor, loo oY,1 h bxr1
questing me to go home and get sober.
So there you are. I've lost my customer,
lost my reputation and probably lost my
Job, for Blank as certain to write to the
house, all on account of that internal whis-
ky drummer. l hain't seen him yet, but
when 1 do he is going to wish he had
been on the Maine. No 1 didn't do any
thing to the coon. He outran me-
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1898-09-13
Personal.

Bridget Riley of Iron Belt, Wis, Is
only IA years old, but has been engaged
as school teacher there. She won
third-class certificate a year ago.
Constantine Pobedonostzeff, procura-
tor general of the Church of the Holy
Synod of Russia, has been decorated by
the Gar. The procurator Yields vast IN
fuence in the councils of state and was
an intimate friends of the Car AleXan-
der III.
The Marquis of Normandy has con-
verted his ancestral English home into
a school for boys, himself taking the posi-
ton of principal. He charges $1,000 each
for his pupils. among whom are num-
Der of young peers and other heirs to
British titles.
Reconsideration the British novel
list, is pestered by autograph hunters and
his secretary replies to all as follows.
Sir: l am instructed 10 inform you that
Mr. Bloundelle-Burton will be pleased to
sign any of his works you may forward
for that purpose.
The Oldest living graduate of Harvard
college, who is DR., William L. Russell
of Barre and who will be 100 years old
if he lives until oct. q of next year, is
still enjoying a serene and happy Old age.
He has lately had as his guest his broth
er, James Russell of Lowell aged 81.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1898-09-13
The PIiancy of our Language.

Some time ago at Washington, sage a
writer in the Philadelphia Ledger a circle
Of lady auditors sat listening to a French
gentleman-a man of culture and acknowl-
edged linguistic ability-retall in his most
savorsome vein the humorous details of
an embarrassing situation in which he
had lately found himself.
His English remained faultless up to the
point In the recital at which, the climax
being reached he found himself unforIu-
nately compromised.
And zen," he continued (the French
mans difficulty with "th'' still making it
self master of his speech, "as 1 saw my
plight l assure you, ladies, 1 was more
Fan decayed."
Here again it was his turn to see a look
of some thing like mild CONSERVATION flash
over the faces of his hearers. One or Two
younger people giggled without well know
ing at what, and, flushing crimson with
anger and embarra ssment, the gentleman
was about to turn away, when an elderly
lady undertook to say that there must be
some error in his speech, though she could
not supply him a correction.
NO! No! Mop came the incensed an
ewer; "a thousand times I have heard you
Americans use re word. Yes, a thousand
times, like L was extremely deca-' All,
no, pardon. 1 mean not decay but morti-
fy.' But English it is so very strange.
Pardon"
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1898-09-13

A Santiago dispatch to the New York
Times gives some additional details of
what the Times calls the last engagement
Of the war; in which a number of shots
were fired by Capt. Harris companies at
Maj WHY'S pickets at Baracoa. as told
in our dispatches. Some 1,5OO Cubans were
encamped about the town, and there were
800 Spaniards in the town. The latter had
maintained a strict guard. 1t was known
that there was bad blood between the Gu
bans and the SbaniArds, and probably not
a great deal of good feeling on the part
of either of them towards the Americans.
Maj. WHY'S camp was located on the hill
overlooking the town. During the after
noon the Americans had made some pa
triotic demonstrations. At 10 o'clock that
night lights We're seen moving on the dis
tant hills, and it was not known but that
the Cubans We're moving forward where
they had no business. Capt. Harris, with
two companies, was ordered to a position
guarding the plaza at the southern APP
proach OF the town Maj. Wylly then es-
tablished a line Of pickets in advance of
the sentinels. The sentinels were not no
titled of this however, and, hearing the
trampiug of soldiers on the hillside they
fired, as before stated. No harm was
done, luckily.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1898-09-13

The understanding seems to be that the
Hawaiian commission will arrange for a
territorial form of government for the
Hawaiian Islands. No doubt a govern
ment of that kind will be just as salts
factory 10 the great majority of the ISL
anders as any other kind. And 1t ought
to answer admirably for the islands.
The understanding is, of course, that the
natives who cannot read and write will
not be permitted to have a voice in the
government. Only few of the natives,
therefore, will have the right
to vote. That being the case,
the government of the islands
VIII be lin the hands of two or three
thousand people. The natives may not like
that, but what can they do? They We're
not consulted about transferring their ISL
ands to the United States, and why should
it matter much whether they have a voice
in the government of the islands or not?
With a territorial form of government
Congress will make the laws of the Islands,
and viii appoint the men to administer
them.
1t is probable that the Americans of the
islands will very soon begin to agitate the
iquestion of admitting HAWAII as a state.
They will not meet with much success at
first, but who can say that they will not
be successful in a very few years if they
are skilful politicians and are persistent?
There are ambitious men in Hawaii, who
will never be satisfied until the islands
are admitted into the union so they can
have a chance TO get the offices to which
a state is entitled. A territorial form of
Porto Rico, the Ladrones and the Philip
pines. In Hawaii the small governing class
is composed almost wholly Of Americans,
or at least of those who are familiar with
American institutions Such is not the
case in the islands which we have wrest-
ed from Spain. For the Spanish islands.
therefore, it is probable that colonial
form of government will have to be pro
vided.
But, whatever the forms of government
which we may provide for our new pos
sessions it is not at all likely that We shall
find them to work as smoothly as we could
wish. The difficulty will be to get men NOT
only Of good administrative and executive
ability, but also of integrity. We NAV be
more fortunate in dealing with colonies
than most other nations have been. If So
we shall have abundant cause for self-con-
graduation.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1898-09-13
OF THE PEACE COM
MISSION.


Some of the papers are complaining that
there is only one Democrat on the peace
commission. There is room for complaint.
The Democrats had reason to expect that
az least two Of the members of the com
mission would be taken from their party.
No explanation has appeared as TO why
the President thought it advisable to put
four Republicans on the commission and
only one Democrat.
As a general thing, however. the Dem
ocrats are not complaining. They know
that the commission will have some diff
cult questions to settle-questions which,
If not settled satisfactorily, will damage
the popularity Of the party responsible for
the treaty Of peace.
A number of Democrats were offered
places on the commission, but for one
reason and another they declined to &C
cept them. They were satisfied, doubtless,
that the commission would have TO follow
the instructions of the President, and that,
consequently, if the treaty turned out to
be a popular one the Republican party
would get all of the credit for 1t, while if
it should prove to be unpopular part of
the unpopularity would have to be borne
by the Democratic party
The President had great difficulty in
getting a Democrat to serve. Senator
Gray. the Democratic member of the COM
mission, was requested 10 become one of
the commissioners when the President
first began TO make up the commission,
and he declined the honor. 1t was not I'M
til quite a number of Democrats had de-
clined that he yielded to the frequently
expressed wish of the President that he
should assist in negotiating the treaty.
1t is not going 10 be an easy matter to
make treaty that will be accepted by the
Senate and meet the approval of the coun-
try. The Spaniards are going to resist our
efforts to retain any considerable portion
of the Philippines, and they are trying
even now to create a feeling in Europe
against our occupation of these islands, or
any one of them. In our dispatches yester-
day it was stated that the Spanish minis
ter at Paris had declined to be a member
OF the commission on the ground that he
might be needed in negotiations with the
European Powers concerning the Philip
pines. From this it is apparent that Spain
does not propose to give up the Philippines
If she can avoid doing so. From the re-
marks of Senior Castillo the inference is
permissible that she hopes to interest one
or more of the Powers in the islands If we
demand, in respect to them, greater con-
cessions than she is willing to grant.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1898-09-13
BRIGHT BITS.

-Paradoxical.-'How was your amateur
opera performance"
at was so poor that it was really rich"
Cincinnati Enquirer.
Lady Visltor-What a pretty baby.
How old is he?
Mamie (aged five)-I amt quite sure,
mum. We've had him about year.
Brooklyn Life.
Those Ridiculous Questions.-House-
holder (sharply)-What do you want?
Burglar (sarcastically)-The initiative
and referendum, of course.-Detroit Jour-
nal.
speaking of getting a tooth pulled"
said the Cornfed Philosopher, that is one
instance where a man is bound to stay
and see the thing out."-Indianapolis
Journal.
His Home Coming
When Dewey comes sailing over the bar
The guns viii loudly peal.
He opened the war, he closed the war,
And he never missed a meal!
Chicago Tribune.
My father-in-law is really a simple
ton! The othAr day wrote him that my
pecuniary embarrassments were turning
my hair gray, and what do you suppose
his answer was? He sent me a bottle of
hair dyer'-Fliegende Batter.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1898-09-13
"Fuzzy-Wuzzy."
Rudyard Kipling.


We've fought with many men across the
An some of em was brave, an some
was not
The Paythan an the Zulu an Burmese;
But the Fuzzy was the finest of the lot.
We never got a ha' porths change of i'm;
E squatted in the scrub an 'ocked our
orses,
e cut our sentres up at Suakim,
An e played the cat an banjo with
our forces.
So 'ere's to you Fuzzy-Wuzzy at your
ONE in the Sudan;
You're a pore, benighted 'eathen, but
frst-class fightin' man;
We gives you your certificate, an if you
want it signed,
Wen come an ave a romp with you
whenever you're inclined.
We took our chanst among the Khyber
ills.
The Beers knocked us silly at a mile,
The Burman give us Irriwaddy chills,
An a Zulu imp dished US up in style;
But all we ever got from such as they
Was pop to what the Fuzzy made us
swaller:
We 'eld our bloomin' own, the papers
say.
But man for man the Fuzzy knocked
US o-ler.
Then 'ere's to you, Fuzzy-Wuzzy, an the
missis and the kid;
Our orders was to break you, an of
course, we went an did.
We sloshed you with Martins, an it
wasn't 'arldy fair;
But for all the odds agin' you, Fuzzy
Wuz, you broke the square.
II ,osn.t e,ot M ,,aDars Of ,is own
e 'asnt got no medals nor rewards,
So we must certify the skill 'e's shown
In usln' of is long two anded swords.
When 'e's 'oppfn' in and out among the
with is coffin aded shield an shovel
spear,
An 'appy day with Fuzzy on the rush
viii last an ealthy Tommy for year.
So 'eres to you, Fuzzy-Wuzzy, an your
friends which are no more,
If we admit lost some messmates we
would 'eip you TO deplore;
But give an takes the gospel an Wen
call the bargain fair,
For If you ave lost more than u.s. you
crumpled up the square!
E rushes at the smoke when we let drive,
An before We know, es 'ackin' al our
cad;
Els all OF sand an ginger when alive.
An 'e's generally shammin' when es
dead
E's a daisy, 'es a ducky. 'e's a lamb!
ELS a Injia rubber idiot on the spree.
Es the only thing that doesn't give
damn
For a regiment O. British infantree!
So 'eres to you, Fuzzy Wuzzy, at your
'ome in the Sudan;
You're a pore. benighted 'eathen, but a
hrst-class fightn' man;
An 'eres to you. Fuzzy Wuzzy with your
'ayrick cad of air
You big. black, boundin' beggar-for
you broke British square!
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1898-09-13

The MORNING NEWS is published
every day in the year, and is served to
subscribers in the city, or sent by mail
at SlOO a month, $500 Tor SIX months, and
5000 for one year.
The MORNING NEWS. by mail, six
times a week without Sunday 'ssue)'
three months, $2.vo; six months, $780, one
year, $500
The WEEKLY NEWS,2 issues a week,
Monday and Thursday, by mail one year,
sLOO.
Subscriptions payable in advance. Re
nit by postal order, check or registered
letter. Currency sent by mail at RISK OF
senders.
Transient advertisements, other than
special column, local or reading notices
amusement and cheap or want column ~
cents a line Fourteen lines of agate type
equal to one inch square in Depths
the standard of measurement Contract
rates and discounts made known on ap-
placation at business office.
Orders for delivery of the MORNING
NEWS TO either residence or place OF bust
ness may be made by postal card or
through telephone No. 90. Any irregu-
larity in delivery should be Immediately
reported to the office of publication.
Letters and kilograms should be ad-
dressed MORNING NEWS" Savannah,
Ga.
EASTERN OFFICE, % Park Row,
New York City, c. S Faulkner. Manager
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1898-09-13
In the Volunteer Service

War comes very hard on some of the
Western volunteers, says an exchange. A
young Missourian writes home this bitter
complaint: Many times have we seen
captains, heutenants. sergeants and cor
porals step up 10 men TO whose back gates
they have driven the grocery wagon and
Tor whom they have done every kind of
service, from selling dry goods down 10
the most mental labor, and in a very
naughty and insulting manner say: Priv
ate Smith or Jones (as the case may be-
/ detail you to Clean up my quarters or
dig me sink or brush my Clothes or
wash my Clothes " What humiliation,
indeed For some reasons, that is The best
side of the army experience.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1898-09-13

New York papers say that it has been
practically decided by certain Democratic
editors and members of the Democratic
campaign committee of that state to leave
the silver question entirely out of the
campaign. Whether the state platform
will ignore the Chicago platform entirely
or contain a fleeing reference to it," says
a report, 'has not been decided but it
has been decided that there will be no
strong affirmation Of the Chicago deliver
ance." There are state issues enough in
New York upon which to make a win
ming fight against the Republicans, and
since national issues cannot be fought out
this year anyway, # would no doubt be
good policy to leave such issues in abey-
ance.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1898-09-13
INDEX TO NEW ADVERTISEMENTS

Meetings-Catholic Library Association;
Ancient Landmark Lodge, No. 2Sl, F. &
"A. NJ.
Special Notices-ship Notice, Georgia Elk
port and Import Company; Sale Of Schoon-
er May oNein at Beaufort, S. c.; Disso-
luton Notice, A. J. Bradley & Co.
Business Notices-E. & w. Laundry.
Steamship Observation-Disclosures Steam
ship Company.
Harness, Saddles, Brides, Collars-Leo
Frank.
Bicycles-Monarch Bicycles.
Take a Pick-Byck Bros.
Meiical-Castoria; Johanna Hoffs Cen
uine Malt Extract; Worlds Dispensary
Preparations; Hoods Sarsaparilla; Cuti-
cura Remedies: S. S. s.
Cheap Column Advertisements-Help
Wanted; Employment Wanted; For Rent;
For Sale; Lost; Personal; Miscellaneous.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1898-09-13

Sirdar Kitchener, the hero of Omdurman
is to receive something substantial from
his victory. England does not stop with
giving her victorious generals a roll of
parchment upon which has been engrossed
this country; she says she thanks them
to the value of so many pounds sterling.
along with certain honors and perquisites
II is stated that Kitchener will receive
something like f25ocO, ana that he will be
raised to the peerage, with the title Of
Lord Kitchener of Khartoum
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1898-09-13

The assassination of the Empress of Aus
tria was purely wanton destruction of hui
man life. She was a good and charitable
woman, according to the sketches of her
which have come by cable. and her death
could not in any manner advance the
cause of the anarchists. 1t is a pity that
the laws of Switzerland protect the worth
less life of her cowardly murderer.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1898-09-13
The Proposed Investigation.
From the Birmingham News Dem.).

The narrowing stories of the yellow
journals" have misled many and undoubt-
eddy have so exaggerated the situation as
to place the administration in a false and
unenviable light before the world, as the
testimony of Gen. Wheeler indicates. In
view of these facts the administration
owes il to the country and 10 itself to have
a thorough and complete investg cation in
stituted by competent persons and the call
cium light of truth turned upon The entire
situation. The country viii be willing to
accept the verdict Of such men as Gen.
Schodeld and Gen. Gordon as final
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1898-09-13

The Klondike gold fever burns out the
brains of the men who have bad attacks
OF it, If they do not make lucky strikes
after they reach the diggings. Late re-
ports from Dawson contain the names of
twenty men who have gone crazy there
since Aug. !, and say that there are many
more out of work and money who are
showing signs of mental collapse. Men
who morigaged all of their property in
the states to get money with which TO
reach the mines have gone mad from
weary waiting, hardships and disappoint-
ments, and the thought of returning to
their families empty-handed. The ro-
nance of gold seeking is largely of the
tragic sort.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1898-09-13

The Literary Digest has been asking the
newspapers OF the United States what they
think Of the Philippine question and the
policy of territorial expansion. It learns
that Of 1872 papers, S4 favor the retention
by the United States of the whole Phiiip-
pine group, while 1OS prefer some less rad
ical solution Of the problem OF the JOS pa
pcrs, So think The United States should be
satisfied with simply a naval station.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1898-09-13

Gen. Kitchener is said to be almost mer-
CHESS in the matters of discipline and
hard work; still ne does not spare HIM
self in either particular He is as correct
as a military manual, and works as hard
as his sturdiest trooper. The result of his
system as seen in the outcome of his cam
paign.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1898-09-13

A contemporary propounds this problem
in mathematics: IF Wharton Barker runs
two years for the presidency how many
years will it take him to get to the White
House?" That is a harder problem than
the famous one of the frog In the we'll
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1898-09-13

Two hundred million dollars pald-in cap
ital! That is the neat little nest egg from
which new steel company, organized I'M
der the laws of New Jersey, win begin to
hatch out profits. The new company, how
ever, is merely a consolidation of several
old, large and well established steel max
ing firms. In short it is a new trust. 1t
has the largest capital of any corporation
ever organized under the New Jersey laws.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1898-09-13
Cuba the American Egypt.
From the Cleveland Plain Dealer Dem

England has had military possession of
Egypt for sixteen years, and although it
has made two or three feints Of retiring
has always found pretext for remaining
until better government is assured" Il
is now the generally accepted belief that
it will retire lat the Greek Kalends," or
"the first day after never"
Cuba is the American Egypt.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1898-09-13

NJ. Flammarion, the eminent French as
tronomer, says the recent hot wave in Eu-
rope was caused by sun-spots. Presuma-
bly, the not wave in this country origna-
ted from the same cause In that event.
the spots must have burned out since the
weather observers say there is a cool
wave coming down from the Northwest,
and the dropping of the mercury indicates
that the weather men are about correct
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1898-09-13
An Impendine Discovery.
From the Norfolk Landmark Dem.)

A discovery is likely to be made In the
near future by the American people, This
discovery is that the war revenue law.
which was necessary for the conduct of
hostililies when it was passed, is going 10
be retained by the Republican party as
long as possible, because It is necessary TO
cover the deficit which Is being produced
by the Dingley tariff. Have you ever
thought of that?
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1898-09-13

Capt. Bob" Evans says: IF you can
imagine basket of champagne compressed
into teaspoonful and taken at one gulp,
you can imagine how we felt' when Ger
vera came out of Santiago 'It was most
exhilarating," concluded Capt. Evans. But
what headaches they must have had the
next morning!
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1898-09-13

The New York Stock Exchange is one
institution that has felt the influence of
better times. The price of seats has ad-
vanced 100 per cent. in five years. In 1898
membership seats sold as low as $4,000,
while last week the price quoted, with no
seats for sale, was $4,000. That, how
ever, is not the top-notch price which they
have fetched. Back in the SOS the price
ruled from $4,000 to $4,000 1t is predict
ed by brokers that the record figure will
be reached and passed before any seats
are bought cheaper than present prices.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1898-09-13

Nine. Rhea, the actress, is said to be
dying of cancer at her chateau in Montmo-
rency, France. She has been on the stage
nearly twenty-five years.