The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1898-11-15
ABOUT Thu EDITOR AND HIS
FRIENDS.
Sharp Shafts of Wit~-Eugene Fields
Digs at Newspaper Men in His
Humorous Primer.

Eugene Field, himself q printer and
the friend of printers to the end of his
DAYS, knew so we'll the foibles of the
men who make neWep papers, that the
shafts of satire in his Primer, SC deity
aimed at them, never miss their mark.
This Primer, by the way, whose deli
cious humor is a joy to mankind too
little known, has been republished by
] West Goodwin, of the Sedalla (Mo.)
BazOo, and is t be sold for the benefit
of the Eugene Field Monument Fund.
Fields satire is at it's best in this
Primer, as the following extracts there
from, aimed at newspaper men and
printers, eloquently testify
THE BAD MAN.
Here is a Man who has just stopped
his Paper. What a Miserable looking
Creature he is. He looks as if ne had
been stealing Sheep. How will he
Know what is going on, now that he
has Stopped his Paper7 He will Bor-
row his neighbours Paper. Oae OF these
Days be will Break his leg, or be q
Candidate for Office, and then the Pa
per will Say Nothing about it. That
will be treating him just Right, will it
not, little Children"
THE EDITOR s KNIFE,
Here we have a knife. 1t looks like
a Saw, but it is a knife. 1t belongs to
an Editor, and is used for Sharpening
Pencils, killing Reaches, opening
Champagne Bottles. and Cutting the
Hearts out OF Bad men who Come into
che office to Whale the Reporters.
There is Blood on the Blade of the
Knife, but the E litor will Ialmly Lick
IL off, and then the Blade will be as
clean and Bright as ever The knife
cost seventy Cents, and was imported
from London, Connecticut. If you
are good, perhaps the Editor will give
it to you to Cut off the Cats Tail"
THE FOREMAN.
"Who is this FerC cious looking Mans
He is the Foreman in a Printing Office.
He gets Paid for Thro wing Men Down
Stairs when they Come in to Lick the
Editor, and for Putting wrong dates &C
the head of the Paper. He can Pl
more type in fifteen Minutes than
Seven Printers can let up in Two
weeks. He loves TO ask the Editor for
Copy. II it were not for him, the
Paper would Look pretty Well every
mornlug. Everything would be Fat
aud none Of the L We Ads would be left
OUT"
H PROUD NAN.
This is the Man VINO has had a
Notice IN the Paper. How Prodd he IL.
H is Stepping Higher rhau & B INA
Horse Ii ne had Wlngs he woulo
Fly. Nexs week the PIPER wi! say
5ae Man Is q Measly GA Fraud, ana
the Man viii nos Step SO High"
OUR EsTEEMED CONTEMPORARY.
TINS AWKWARD sneeG Is our Esteem
ed Contemporary. IC Is Run By an
UahuGg Feion. We would not Give
/ n4m d g ass of Water to Save his Life,
out we would Take a Beer with him If
we were Properly Approached. Oar
esteemed Contemporary has no CIrcu
lation and it's influence is correspond
iugly Small. 1t cuts Advertising Rates
and is 50 Mean it would SKIN a Skunk
60 Save q Scent. IL we had Our Way,
we would Suspend our Esteemed Con.
temporary and Put its editors and Re
porters In Jail whe. they belong"
The daughter Of an editor was she;
And when he kissed her (through
Loves impish prankF),
Quite absent mindedly she said to him:
Your contribution is returned with
thanks!"
Puck.