Evening journal., 1898-07-05
THRILLED WITH KNOWLEDGE
Here II One Poor Young Mnn ~ no
Did Not Know How Wise the
Girls Arc Nowadays.

The amount of information that a
girl seems to feel is necessary for her
well being nowadays is astonishing.
What was enough for her mother is
altogether unequal to her notions of
required erudition.. From the present
progress and strides of her studies she
Intends TO make it warm for all men,
younger old, whose education has been
even in the least particle neglected.
The up-to-date girl Of 1898 IS too well
bred TO force opportunities TO obtrude
her learning on persons with whom
che is conversing. She is to all APP
pearances indulging her wits to their
greatest extent during such timess even
while ne is stating the tritest Of self
apparent facts she is politely staring In
wonder at his kindergarten data and
ecience-she is amazed at the manneri IN
which he remembers the occurrences
IN history which stand out like the rock
of Gibraltar, and no one not afflicted
with aphasia could be unacquainted
with.
She listens to all this and lots more
with demure awestricken air. but
myl how she is taking notes. low she
is mentally playing havoc with his high
sounding pronunciamentos. How dis
mayed he would be II he could only see
into what a tattered, woebegone frag-
ment his bundle Of information has
been dessicated. If he could guess for
a moment what pity he is awakening he
would settle his business affairs and 60
to the wilds of Elkhart and live her
init ever after. But still though know
ing that young women arc educating
themselves TO the boiling point every
day, man, foolish man, viii go on talk
ing of comets, German philosophy,
Swlnburne and the influence of art, and
the rise OF Neoplatonism and things
/ about which he knows nothing when by
a little thought, in turning the conver-
sation on the brolling Of beefsteak, he
might throw the whole chances of vic
tory on his side.
But, strange as it may appear, there
nre some young men who not only do
not talk about household duties, where
they might have some little chance of
superiority, but they actually have the
madness and folly to make light of the
twentieth century girls intellectual ac-
quirements.
There is a certain self-su1lclent north
side young fellow Of this description
who Is acquainted with three very high.
ly educnted young ladies. lie often
finds them together, but this is not nee
fr.. f.1r frtI 4
any one Of them. They can tell wher
Lord Napier invented logarithms, why
lie did 1t and where the world would b,
to-day II be had not done It. And after
this they can do an Astronomical calcu
lation by this branch of mathematic
that makes him dizzier than rum punch
He is such % vain young fellow that h
cannot or win not see this. and insteal
Of meeting them in open ground ant
putting knowledge against lnowledg
E he INDUCES in what he fondly imagine
s Is a sarcastic vein, and 3eers at what h
1 has not the intellect TO understand. Bu
t he tried this once too often. A fe,
S days ago they decided that just for
J lesson they would turn his own tactic
Z against him.
, They had just that week entered upoi
} the study of advanced zoology. IL
+ dropped IN upon them one Afternoon
while they were thus engaged. Insteal
, OF trying TO store his brain little b
b began Immediately to pooh-2ooh tn
= thing. He wondered audibly whethe
e q frozen Goldfish had anchylosed joint
y OF a lightning rod for Il backbone. I
s nally, after a lot of fpresumptions of thl
p kind, he said laughingly that he wante
a to bring them some geological spec
y mems. He inquired which they'd hav
\ an elephant or an ant eater. AT fir.
r they did not deign 10 notice this ol
n seryation. Then he insisted that he iu.
! must bring something. Finally an ide
n seemed TO strike one of the girls. Sl
d whispered to the others. Then sh
s looked up and said: "Well, there
/. just one specimen you might brin,
/ You might bring a horse"
4 IT only cost him seven dollars, br
i then he's not a millionaire.-Chicac
= Times-IIerald