Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1898-11-03

in any aigs what they could find an he'd
shore tell 'em all about the personal pints
what was common to the birds what laid
the aig, an whether the critter was useful
to the human race er a detriment to the
onward march ov civilization, jes' from the
looks ov the aigs.
well, they waren't much plowin done
that spring, fer every young Teller was
a-chasin through the woods an along the
low brush linin the clearin's chuck full ov
science an a-lOokin fer birds aigs. They
was several what the newspapers calls
casualties happens from fellers fallin from
trees, but it didn't stop this here science
none. Teller named Sam what worked
for ole man Millern fell out of a sycamore
an busted three ov his ribs, but it didn't
seem to cool his interest none, fer he talked
aigs while they was a settin his bones, an
there was a leedle Teller what had climbed
a p'simmon bush fer a doves nest, All he
done slipped an swallered the aigs what
he was a-carryin down in his mouth, an
what was almost Matched, an they made
him deathly sick, but they sent fer the
'sylum doctor, an he come an patted the
leedle boy on the head an he says, A mar
tyr to science seize, an the leedle boy got
we'll right away. 'Ceptin fer these slight
calamities, though, there was the finest
lot ov birds aigs collected that this orny-
biologist doctor had ever seen.
81 guess every Teller in the neighbor-
hood had found q new kind ov aig 'ceptin
this here Wess Niger, al he appeared to
be mighty low spirited about it. The mig
gers laig was all bent whar he had fell
an broke it, an it had healed up crooked,
an he couldn't climb no trees at all. The
Niger had tried faithful fer to find a nest
In a low bush whar he could reach it,
but it 'peared like only common birds
built in low bushes, an everybody had
already got plenty ov common aigs.
"One day jes' a leetel while before the
lecture was to come of. this Wess niger
comes over hare, an he says, 'Misto Wash,
I KANT find no aigs what amt already
dun been found, so whad is I gwine do
bout it?' l was a-goin to console the Mig
ger, fer he wa a mighty good niger that
a way, when he breaks in an says:
"'I doan' b'lieve dat doctah is much ov
a %scientis' nohow, an I'ze a good min fer
to projec' with him, dat I is. / reckon he
amt neyah seen nc guinea aigs up In N
Yo'k, an I'ze gwine t. fool him, if you
WOu SlLuluo way, 1 20 SOU d kulilCu tlS
ere, an If you'll write on the kyard TO-
me 1'ze gwine take it up to dat %scientis'
generman an see what he say about it,
seize, all he showed me the aig laid on a
wad ov Gavin husks in a round paper col
lar box, all l wrote the nigger's name on
the card, an the niger took it an left it
with the doctor at the 'sylum.
"Waal, when this lecture business was
ready to start, 1 guess they was as many
young fellers thar as l ever seen at a cir
Gus. They was all dressed up, too, with
hair lie on their hair an mutton taller ON
their boots, an all a-lookin uneasy an fig
CITY, an all a-talkin science, low like, like
they was at a funeral, an all a-watchin the
platform whar the aigs was all laid out
with the guinea aig among them waitin
fer the doctor Teller. The niger was
thar, too, standin back by the door with
both his eyes an his teeth a-shinin, an
whenever he'd look at me he'd smoker.
"After we had waited perty nigh long
enough fer the aigs to hatch the door
opened an the doctor come in. He looked
at the aigs an then at us %fellers, an he
made q bow an says:
"'Young gentlemen, l have promised to
HANO you q y lnUo oDOuO uuO plEuo III
their relation to the farmer, seize, IAN I
see my young friends have bestirred they
selves an placed this magnificent collec-
tion ov aigs before me that l may refer to
them as ~sejestin the birds to be discussed,
seize, an a whole passle ov nicely talk like
that, an then he jerks up a squinch owls
aig an begins.
"He come peril nigh hittin it too. He
said that the bird what laid the aig had
soft, woolly feathers an had claws on its
toes, an eat meat stead ov grain an bugs
what he called carnivorous, an a lot
more pecooliarities what we all knowed
the squinch wi rally did have. An then
he gifts another aig an tells about the crit
ter what laid that.
~"He goes through the whole passle ov
'em In that way an by'n by he strikes the
guinea aig, an tho minute what he lifts it
up they waren't a man in the house but
what knows 1t, an go they all listens in
tent, like they was expectin ov a joke.
"'This aig, which I see was contributed
by Mr.. Midas Wess, says the doctor after
he had turned it around an looked at it,
lis a well marked one, an it easily pints to
its origin. 1t Is certain of the family of
AoAOouc, VuuV WO Y w Nv OAuAu oPoA al
the blunt base, seize, an the bird what
laid 1t Is sartainly a most destructive enc,
my ov the farmer an a most voracious
~oritter, what should be destroyed when
ever found. They was a kind ov IA smoker
back among the fellers whar the niger
was, but the doctor Teller didn't notice it,
an so he KEEP on:
"'This bird builds SO high that l am
astonished that the young gentleman had
the hardihood fer to climb fer it, seize.
If Mr.. Midas Wess is in the aujience, will
he be pleased to tell us where he found
this valuable e~mbryological trophy seize,
never noticin the smokers what was
a-growin louder.
"The Wess niger was skeered fer to say
anything, but the fellers round him pushed
him in the isle an told him fer to speak
out, an Midas said:
"'I dun foun dat aig outin de orchard,
sab, in a ole guinea hin's nes',' seize, an
then he snorted right out, an we all fined
him an snorted too.
"Waal, that scientis' doctor blazed right
up, in a minute he got as red as a sumao
bush, al he started fer the niger fer to
give him a wallOpin, an Ike Wess, soon as
be seen him start fer his niger, jes'
snatched a big white aig often the table
an fetched the doctor a clip in the back ov
the naik, an that started 1t. Most ov the
boys had had a drink ov Ticker, like they
always takes when they goes to town, an
the WEISS niger was mighty popular with
the boys, an SO we all jes' scrambled that
whole mess ov aigs or the doctor Teller an
then chased him outen the hall. Bein as
Midas had broke up the meetin an skeered
the lecturer of, we all jes took him up to
the platform an made him give us a lee
ture on the kerrect way fer to steal chick
ems without lettin UNI squak out loud, an