The herald., 1898-05-29
! NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.
! Mr.. DOOLEY ON STRATEGY : :
] OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES .

"a sthrateejan," said Mr.. Dooley in re-
sponse to Mr. Hennessy's request for infor-
| nation, "is a champeen checker-player.
| Whin tn war broke out me frind Mack
wint to me frind Hanna. an says he.
| What he says. what can We do to
crush tn naughty power iv Spain, he
says, AN bring this hateful war to a
early conclusion?" he says. Mobilize tn
checker-players,' says Hanna. An fr m all
CORNERS iv tn country they've gone to
Washn' ton, where they're called tn
Sthrateejy board.
DAY an night they set in room, with
a checker board on tn end Nv a flour bar'l,
an study problems iv tn navy. AT night
Mack dhrops in. We'll. boys says he, how
goes tn battle?' he says. 'Gloryous,' says
tn sthrateeiy board. Two more moves an
we'll be in tn king row. 'Ah,' says Mack.
this is too good to be thrue.' he says. In
but a few brief minyits tn dhrinks'll be on
SPAIN he says. Have ye any plans f'r
SIMPSONS fleet" he says. Where Is it?'
says tn sthrateejy board. dinnaw,' says
Mack. Good says tn sthrateejy board.
Where's the Spanish 1eet?' says they.
'Bombardin' Boston. at Cadiz, in San June
de Matzoon, sighted near tn gas-house be
our special correspondent: copyright, 1898,
be Mike O'Toole.' "A sthrong position,
says tn sthrateejy board. Undoubtedly tn
fleet is headed south to attack and seize
Armour's glue factory. Ordher Sampson
to sail north as fast as he can an lay in
a supply iv ice.
'Th' summers comm on. INSTRUCT
Schley to put on all steam an thin put 1t
off again an call us up be telephone
R-rush eighty-three millyon throops an
four mules to Tampa, to Mobile, to Chick
enmaha, to Coney island, to Ireland, to TIL
divvle, an r-rush thin back again. Don't
r-rush thin. Ordher Sampson to pick up TIL
cable at Lincoln park an run into tn
BARN. Is th' balloon corpse ready? 1t Is
Thin don't sind it up. Sind it up. Have tn
Mulligan guards cooperate with Gomez,
an tell him to cut away his whiskers.
They've got tangled in tn riggin,' We
need yellow fever throops. Have ye amy
yellow fever in tn house? Give it to twin
ty thousand three hundherd men an sind
thin afther Gov nor Tanner.
"'Teddy Rosenfelt's trough r-riders
ar-re down stairs havin' their uniforms
pressed. Ordher thin to tn goluf links at
wanst. They must be no indecision.
Where's Richard Harding Davis? On tn
bridge iv tn New York? TURN tn bridge.
Seize Gin'ral Miles's uniform. We must
strenthen tn gold resarve. Where's tn
Gussie? Runnin off to Cuba with wan
hundherd men an arms. iv coorse. Oh,
war is a dreadful thing! It's ye-er move,
Claude says tn sthrateejy goard.
can so 1t goes on, an day be day we
re-ead TIL thu-rble story iv our brave
sthrateejans sacraficin' their time on tn
altar iv their country, as Hogan says.
Little we thought whin we wint into this
war iv tn horrors 1t wud bring. Little we
thought iv tn mothers at home weepin' FIR
their brave boys down at Washinton hur-
rtin' their poor eyes over checker-board.
Little we thought iv these devoted men, as
Hogan says, with achin' heads, plannin' to
sind three hundherd thousand millyon men
an carload iv beans to their fate at Tam
pa, Fla. But some wan must be sacri-
feed, as Hogan says. An these poor fel-
lows in Washin'ton with their red eyes
an their tired backs will be an example to
future generations, as Hogan says, iv how
an American soldier can face his jooty
whin he has to an how he can't whin he
hasn't to.
Dewey amt sthrateejan?" inquired
Mr.. Hennessy.
mo" said Mr.. Dooley. "Cousin George
is good ma-an an I'm very fond iv him,
more be raison iv his doin' that Mayo
bosthoon Pat Mountjoy, but he has low
tastes. We nivir cud make sthrateejan
iv him. Theyse kind of vulgar fightin
sthrain in him that makes him want to go
out an slug some wan wanst month. I'm
glad he amt in Washin'ton. Th' chances
ar-re he'd go to th' sthrateejy board an
pull its hair.-Chicago Journal.