The Weiser signal. [volume] (Weiser, Idaho) 1890-1904, 1898-04-21
LOUIS SOMMER.
The One Price Cash Store
A SEER sLosHIN. ROUND.

the alkali plains OF Caldwell Evil
IDENTIFY the following was pulled Oft
while lie repose,l ut his seventh or
eighth cache at the foot of lordly
sage brush nigh unto the suburbs OF
the Magic City, at that particular
moment when protracted gaze at
the stars singing together caused the
spirit OF inspiration to fill his being.
This despalrng wall comes from the
Caldwell Record and is probably the first
note OF general detection from the Sill
yer Republican ranks. The Record is
clearing its decks so as to sail into the
Democratic port. few weeks ago it
shuDted Dubois and Sweet while looking
wlstfully at Borah as a last hope Now
II throws Borah overheard, and. in pas
sing, administers vigorous kick 10 Ed
gar Wilson.
II that don't yank the hyperboli-
cal cork out Of the bottle, we'll take
water. 1t is most lachrymary sit
would bring tears to a glass
eye to gaze on the ptful picture
painted by the Caldwell Tribune, from
which the above is taken. The good
ship Record is clearing decks to sail
into port, not to go into action, the
purpose for which decks are usually
cleared (but perhaps this is differ
ent kind of democratic port, might
as well have made it brnndy--and the
Tribune editor feels from experience
that the greatest personal safety lies
in cleared decks after sailing into
port.) But We mistake, this is not
clipper, because we find it in the
next line rumbliug along one of
Vandergould's best tracks busily
shunting obsolete cars onto some con
venient spur in the vicinity of CaId-
well, but again the wheels turn, the
engine pufrs and the trim vessel plo WIS
the main with renewed vigor gazing
with it's two eyes toward Borah, but
when II discovers that Borah is on
itself it takes its hands out OF its
pockets and throws Dorah overheard,
of OF itself, and, as a sudden swell
throws the good vessels screw out O f
the water, its stern suddenly devel-
opes a most vigorous pair OF hind
legs which kick viciousIy at Edgar
Wilson, way out there from shore
walking Christ-like on the water, pro
badly attempting to save Borah from
sinking.
IL any declare the above hath no
sense, or challenge its superior jour
nalistic erudtion, we meet them in
stanter and crush the bold observation
with the words Of the Tribune itself.
and we do here bring to our justii-
cation, for the above, the following
from the Tribune--the very same
issue from which is taken the extract
criticised above:
| The Weiser SIGNAL is b coming a rheto-
rician OF unexampled width of wing and
lofty defamation. What could be more
beautiful than this; There is not straw
in the way OF the three Washington
County wings Of bimeialism standing
shoulder to shoulder and setting AN ex-
ample for undecided neighbors" And if
there were straw there. what of itf
Could straw prevent three Washington
County wings Of bimetalism from flap.
ping! Could hay stack prevent the
wings from standing shoulder 10 shoulder
ana setting an example to undecided
neighoors! What would bimetalism
want oil three wings unless to flap them
" nat would wings want OF shoulders
unless To stand them together and set ex-
ampes in The rule Of three. Washington
County bimetslism Seems To b.. composed
at ihrre distinct elements bird. bat and
pterndactyl; that is. Republican. Demo-
cratic and Populislic.
This Socrates OF the sagebrush
proceeds further to unload scintllla.
ting wads OF thought and turn loose
fermenting floods from his gorgci
iltellect, and follows the above with
similar SIGNAL extract, upon which
lie comments with grape and cann-
ster discharge of incomprehensibility
which doth cause men aud gods to
stand dizzy in vain attempt to realize
what points OF condemnation he hath
sought to dig out-inteligcnt compre-
hension OF the points OF offence is
swamped in CastilIian founts aud rari-
led among the peaks of Parnassus,
'ausing all who might have granted
moderate degree ofin,ellectual balance