The age-herald., 1898-11-05
MR. DOOLEY ON THE
 FRENCH CHARACTER

ftOm the CnicaSo JOuFual.
 "Th Fr-rinch,' said Mir. Dooley, "ar-re & tumulchuse people"
 Like as not" said Mr Hennessy, there's some iv our blood In thim. A good nanny iv our people wint over wanst. They cudden't alive been kilt at Fontenoy."
 "No." said Mr Dooley 'tis another kind iv tumulchuse. Whin an Irishman rages 'tis with wan idee in his mind. He's goin' for'ard again a single inimy, an not stone walls or irne chains'll stop him. He may pause fr dhr4.-- or to take a shy at polisman-f'r a polismans always in tn way-but he's as thrue as tn needle in tn camels eye, as Hogan says to tn objec iv 7 his hathred. So he's been f'r four hum dhred years, an so he'll always be while they'se an England on tn map. Whin England purrishes tn Irishll die iv what Hogan calls ongwee, which is havin' no wan in tn wearry wurruld ye don't love.
 But with tn Fr-rinch 'tis diff rent. I say tis diff Trent with tn Fr-rnch. They're an onaisy an thrubbled people. They start out down the sthreet. loaded up with ob- scenthe an cigareets, pavin' blocks an walkin sthicks an sthove lids in their hands, cryin': "A base Cap. Dhryfuss! tn Cap. bein far off in a cage, by dad. So far so good. "A base Cap. Dhryfussr says l. an tn same to all thraitors, an nanny iv thim, whether they ar-re or not. But along comes man with poor hat Where did he get tn hat? demands tn mob. Down with tn bad tflep they say "A base tn lidP An they desthroy tn hat an tn man undher 1t succumbs to tn rule iv tn majority an jfnes tn mob. On they go till they come to restaurant Hal says they, tn resort of the infamious Duelose.' His char-rges ar-re high' say wan. I found hshbone in his soup says another. He's thraitor, says a third. "A base tn soup Kitchen! A base tn cafep says they, an they seize the unfortunate Duclose an bate him an upset his kettles iv broth Mane- time, where's Cap. Dhryfuss? Off in his comfortable cage, swingin' on tn perch an, atm seed out iv a small bottle stuck in tn wire. Be tn time tn mob has de- sthroyed what they see on tn way they've frgot tn Cap intirey, an he's safe fir an- other day
 HIS unforch-nit but tis thrue. Tn, fr-rinch ar-re not steady ayether in their politlcs or their morals. That's where they get done be tn hated British Tn diff frence in turin policies is the diff repce between a second-rate safe blower an a. nrst-ciass boonco steerer Tn, Fr,rinch buy ton iv dinnymte, spind five years in ohriiiln hole through steel dure blow open tn safe, lose a leg or an ar-rm an get away with tn Abilities iv tn firm. Tn English dhress up fir a Methodist preacher, stick piece iv lead pipe in tn tails iv their coat in case iv emargency an get all tn money there is in tn line Tn tn fr-ront dure comes tn English man with coon king on ayether ar-rm that's jus loaned him ther kingdoms on a prom ssory note, an discovers tn Fr-rinch- man emargin' frim tn hoons iv tn safe
 What ar-re ye doin here?' says tn Englishman.
 Robbin' tn maygurs, says tn Fr-rinch- man, bein' thruthfui as well as polite.
 Wicked mani say tn Englishman
 "'What ar-re ye doin' here? says the Fr-rinchman.
 ," Improvin' the morals iv tn inhabit- ants, says tn Englishman. Is it not so, Rastus?' he says.
 "'It is,' says wan iv tn kings I'm poorer but better man since ye came, he says.
 .fes,' says tn Englishman, T propose fir to thruly rayform this unhappy coun- thry," he says. This benighted haythen on me exthreme left has been injooced to
 
 he says, an go through life tormnted be only wan spouse, he says. Tn r-rest will go to wurruk fir me- he says. All crap games bein' particularly ongody'll be un- dher tn con-throl iv tn governmint, which, he says is me. Policy shops'll be r-run carefully, an I've appinted Rastus here Writer-in-W Watin' to her majesty he says. 'Th' r-rum they dhrink in these par-rts,' he says, is fearful,' says he. What shall we do to stop tn ac-cursed thraffic? Sell thim gin, says I. 'Tis shameful they shud go out with nawthin' to hide their nakedness, he says. I'll fetch him clothes, butt he says, as the weathers too warrum fir clothes, I'll not sell him anything that'll last long, he says. lift wasn't fir religion, he says, don't know what tn ell tn wurruld wud come co., he says
 Who's relig ,on?' says tn Fr-rinchman.
 My religion says tn Englshman. These pore benighted savidges, he says, "ll not be left to ye'er odjous morals an yeer hootchykootchy school iv thought he says, but he says, 'undher tn binif- cent r-rule iv wise an thrue govern mint he says, "ll be thruly prepared fir hivin,' he says, 'whin their time comes to go he says. which I thrust will rot be long,' he says So I'll thank ye to be off, he says, or I'll take tn thick end iv the slungshot to ye,' he says.
 '"The Fr-rinchman is a br-rave man, an he'd stay an have it out on tn flure, but some one calls: "A base tn Chinnyman! an off he goes on another thrack An whn he gets to tn Chinnyman he finds tn Engishve abased thim already. An so he dances firm wan par-rt iv tn wurruld to another, like a riochous an happy flea, an divvle tn bit iv progress he makes, on'y thrubble fir others an merry life fir him. silf.'
 "If England wint to war with France" said MT. Hennessy, suddenly, "Td be fir France"
 "So ye wud, Hennessy, so ye wud,' said Mir Dooiey. "An' I'm not sayin' that I wudden't frgit that I'm an Anglo-Saxon long enough to take wan crack at tn Prince iy Wales with a couplin' pin mesilf.'
 HANNA IN LABOR
 From the Chicago Chronicle.
 MT. Hanna, 1t is announced, is going to make a number of speeches in the close