Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1898-05-11

CouIe III ana SelecL DIS presents 1lou1 NE
any articles they may prefer. ''-Jeweler's
Weekly.
Joseph jefferson was a guest of the
Glover club in Philadelphia few nights
ago, and told the following in the course
of a characteristic speech:
My friends, you ask me if l was ever
Kissed on thes tage. Well, I have been,
and the condition of The Star Spangled
Banner just now recalls to mind an in
stance 1t was in just such stirring
times as the present that I learned the
words of The Star Spangled Banner l
was 10 years old and had been assigned
the words, and | knew them so thorough
ly that l could recite them backward
At last the Hateful evening arrived, and
when it was my turn | went upon the
stage. l recited the first line, oh, say,
can you see.' There | stuck. The audi
again and stuck again. A girl, draped
in the stars and stripes, next to me- said:
Go on, youv but after another attempt
you couldn't go on. [ had forgotten it
completely. After one more attempt, in
which | could get no further, | was COM
PEELED to leave the stage amid the misses
of the entire audience. But that day
thoroughly taught me The Star Span
it.,
what an absent-minded duffer Charley
Jiggers is-took his lofter instead of his
crop at the meet the other day"
That wasn't Observation-Disclosures it was
policy. Said it was the only kind of
club he could get his mount over fences
with. '-Harper'S Bazaar.
Fuddy-''Do you think it's possible for
two persons to live on dollar day.?
Duddy-''If a dollar is as big as it looks
in the eyes of some men, | should say that
two persons might live on it Indefinitely
and have plenty of room to walk around
in. Boston Transcript.
''In making up that supply train" said
the attendant, your majesty forgets that
YOU now have two regiments of women
in the field
What have l neglected." demanded
the King.
In addition to the provisions, arms
and ammunition your majesty should for
ward to them at least three carloads of
pins
As result of a council of war hastily
called they forwarded one carload of or
binary pins, one carload of harpins and
one carload of safety pins.-Chicago
Post.
The late Lord Chief Justice Cockburn
was very fond of yachting, and used fire.
quently to spend from Saturday to Mon
day on the SOlent. On one occasion he
invited one of the Puisne judges of the
Queens bench to accompany him. The
sea was as smooth as glass on the Sat
urday, but during the night a stiff breeze
sprang up, and the little vessel rolled
fearfully at her moOrings, much to the
discomfort of the judge, who was by no
means a good sailor. The chief hearing
how bad he was. went into the cabin,
and, laying a soothing hand on his Shout
der, said, My dear c., can l do anything
for you" "Oh, Sir Alexander" he re-
piled, turning his woebegone face to his
host, Il wish your lordship would over
rule this notion
''What is the consumption of beer per
head in this state?" asked the man with
passion for statistics.
1T VARIES" said the uncompromising
realist. What will give one man a head
will only make another thirsty Indian-
apolis Journal.
The Neighbor-'Youn never be the
man your father isl
Tommy-"4es, nav says she thanks
heaven every day that [ won't "-Indana-
polls Journal.
,TnSr EIlKa