Evening star., 1898-09-10
IN HIS MOTHERS EYES

Of late years. said the man verging on
forty and a double chin, I've learned to
carefully refrain from staggering and
swashbuckling around in the presence of
my little old mother. l long since gave up
trying to show off in her presence. l don't
cndeavor to be a Heap Big when she's
around AS a matter of fact, don't doubt
that she regards me as about the onliest
Heap Big that ever happened. That's
way that little old mothers have. But how
she can possibly regard me in this iatter-
ing light is more than 1 make out. As
L say, L particular not to attempt to
throw any bluffs out when she's around.
I've learned to figure it that she has too
good a lifelong line and my whole
makeup TOR me 10 try to pose Wnen her
snreWd eyes are fastened upon me. know
tnat in many respects she sun regards me
boy OF seven. she never says 50, but
L feel tnat she does, all the same, ana
that's why 1 never get naughty or gay
when She LOOKING d me. W nen l Was Il
young IelIow, just ABOUT going TO work for
s3 a week, L remember TOW L used to swell
around nd make out TO her tnat l was
great man and something out OF the com
mon, and probably hau her convinced OF
it, too, at that. But nay, nay; not any
more. Since I've taken the time to study
and analyze the collection of portraits She
has of me, I've given up all that
L guess she's got about thirty pictures of
me slowed away and on exhibition. She
thinks every of EN- is a gem of the
purest ray serene-especially those that
We're taken when was kid The first one
is a daguerreotype-set in snap frame
with two broken hingeS-that was made OF
me when / was six months old. Say, that
pictures show! l remember how hot it
used to make me, as young chap just
starting a mustache, when my mother
would dig that daguerreotype out and show
it to pretty girls visiting my sisters-Strls
that 1 wanted to make a hit with. My
mother maintains that l was the prettiest
baby that ever came down the pike. Wen,
you ought to see that daSuarreotype, that's
all. OF all the lumpy-jawed, fat shapeless,
scowling Things that 1 ever saw represent
ed by the medium of a picture, l surely
take the cake In that daguerreotpye. And
such a lovely baby as you were! says my
little old mother when stes taking look
at this daguerreotype. I don't dispute the
point with her. What'd be the use? Then
she's got yellow carte de visite photo
graph of me when I was two years old
Same lumpy jaw. Same fat. Same shape
lessness. Same scowl In looking at this
picture my mother relates for me numer-
Gus little incidents of my life when | had
achieved the age of two that cause me to
wonder why I didn't then and there sacri.
flee her everlasting respect and affection.
Seems as though didn't, though. somehow
other. The next picture is a tintype of
me when I was three years old. ! am lean
ing TWO rat, p3ra arms on square ptieS-
tai and I've got one short-socked leg cross
ed over the other. My short. stiff skirt
stands out like ballet dancers Black
scowl. Look as if the whole thing made
me tired: And what a sweet disposition
you did have them exclaims my little old
mother when she gazes at that tintype
Would there he any use in my trying to tell
her that I didn't look the part?
1.-The next picture is hrOwn-toned pho
tograph of me at the puissant age of five
in my first knee pants. They're baggy,
zouavc-Iike knee pants, and I've got no
means of knowing now whether they We're
made over from an old pair of my fathers
or not. I've got a six-inch-high topknot, as
shiny as jet, the top of my head. and
I'm still scowling like a Justice of the Su-
preroe Court in kniCl5erbockers.
''AIv mother tells me that 7 was on ania-
BILE little duffer at the age of five. Fact is.
in going over these pictures, she recites all
kinds of incidents of deviltry and mischief
iT which I mingled around about the time
the portraits were made, but she always
winds up these recitals with the remark
that. at such and such an age, l was the
real thing, anyhow. Then there's the tin
type of yours truly in his first pair of cop
per-toed boots. 1t appears from what my
little old mother says that when l got this
first pair Of copper-toed boots I
proud of 'em that I went around kicking
holes through everything in the house. in
cludng my little sisters-"And what dear
little fellow you were then, to be sure"
she says in concluding this narration. Skip
ping few, / arrive at the photograph of
me when I about thirteen years old
and earning 81 a week. It's a full-length
photograph. and I've got my hair plaster
ed down on my forehead and look like
degenerate. It's notable. though. in my
mothers eyes, because 1t represents my
first pair of long pants. Then there's
tintype of me when / was siXteen-the age
when | began to cast sleeps eyes at the
little girls on the block, and was beginning
TO prinp, and execute spit curl down on
the right side of my forehead. Say, of all
the silly looking ducks. My mother says,
You were beginning to be such a manly
boy them and I let it go at that. Then
follows a bewldering succession of cartes
de visite. tintypes and cabinet photographs
representing me up to the age of twenty
five, From the losks Of all of them I'm
compelled to believe that when I had each
and every one of them taken ! was about
grimy, conceited, pulp-headed an i'm
beetle as ever roamed about loose. | was
taking all sorts of liberties with my hair. 1t
appears the better to puiverize the girls l
kneW-and, say, / meet quite a number OF
those girls right often, and most of 'em have
got seven children-and my main idea in
having most of the portraits taken seemed
to be to exhibit my makeup in the mat
ter of clothes and necktes, and so on. For
example, one of the three-quarter-length
cabinets is a splendid likeness of my first
dress suit. Then, there's one that portrays
to T the first tailor-made overcoat | ever
got hold of, and, incidentally. there's
Soou lheHeS9 IN lllls VI d cigar tnaI nelu
il my hand When | had the Overcoat's pic
ture taken. ] was about twenty when that
one was done, and l wouldn't have let the
cigar remain out Of the picture for money.
Then, there's the bust picture of me en-
gagged in the herculean task of raising a
muStaChe. / sat four five times for
that one, / remember The photographer
you know made the mistake of throwing
strong light on one side of my face at
several sittinSs, and when / saw the proof
there was only a bit of a shadow on nv
upper lip on one side, and on the brightly
lighted side of my upper lip nothing but
biankness. ] recall how sore those proofs
made ME. And SO No man whose
mother has got collection of pictures of
him like this of my mothers slowed away
VIII try to be elevated or lordIy or high
falutin with her, if he's got the sense he
was born with, and you hear me a-talk-
ing"