The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1898-07-16

IN lettink lhucy measure
That phantom new depot.
And when our thinI.tanks falter,
and the eye no longer sec,
Wen be ready for the halter
That ynnRs to eternity.
So let US have our pleasure
In a dream OF long ago.
While fancy takes the measure
or that y. q o. depot
The hot weather calls for cooling
drinks, and the soda water man uses
all his ingenuity TO slake the thirst OF
his patrons. There is no temperance
detection that can lay lemonade in the
shade, and 1t continues to hold its own
in all Its glory OF red or white at the
picnic. the circus. or the ball. Like 9TH
er drinks, there is a profit in lemonade,
and the night before the recent political
primaries the colored promoters OF a
dance In the Second ward market
house, desired TO reap some prof; out Of
the lemonade they intended TO dispense,
therefore one OF their number hunted
up man who could give a recipe for
making cheap lemonade.
His prescription was as follows: For
four lemons, use one pound OF sugar,
fifteen cents worth OF tartarlc acid. and
thin the same with river water.
The colored man thanked the giver OF
the prescription, or rather recipe, but
on his way to the drug store he got
mixed in his dates, and as result or
dered carbolic acid instead OF tartarlc
acid
The night of the ball hove hence In
a big tub the lemonade was made, and
the first customer was Jim Smith,
colo.ed employe OF the gas works. He
drank tin cup full, or more correctly
speaking, drank II empty. dat stun
tastes sharp" he remarked, "but 1t
cuts" After his drink he withdrew
from the market house hall.
The next lucky man made wry
face as he got outside of drink of the
queer tasting lemonade, and being OF an
Investigating turn he asked what man
ner OF stun was the lemonade. Just to
show him, the attendants at the lemon
ade booth, ilshed out the sugar bag,
the lemon rlnds and the acid bottle.
One look at that bottle was enough for
the suspicious customer, for on It's label
he saw the skull and crossbones," that
accompanies carbollc acid or other poll
sons.
When he told them they had carbolle
acid IN the lemonade. there was gem
erai stampede. Death was expected TO
stalk foremost every second. But the
only man who drank OF the stun Was
Smith. Where is Smith," was on all
lips. Smith was nowhere to be seen,
and his friends began to think OF day
or 10 attend his funeral. Finally, he
was discovered not much the worse for
wear. While he may rot have been In
danger, he allowed doctor to work on
him for over an hour. and Is as lively
as you find EN- to-day.
War has It's jokes no less renowned
than those OF peace. From Santiago and
Manila Will come yarns as mirth-pro-
yOklng as those which had their birth
In the civil war. One OF the best sprung
on Wheeling was told the other night
bV n drummer at the Stamm. The hero
was one OF the brave Americans who
brayed the Spanish FIRE from the en-
trenched SpanIards at Santiago. This
hero was lodging Spanish bullets. but
hearkened TO the plea OF wounded
comrade, who wanted to be conveyed 20
the hospital tent. Said the wounded
soldier: my legs shot on, old man;
please carry me to the hospital"
The soldier addressed readily reached
down and lifted his wounded comrade
on his shoulder, and then started for
the tent In the midst OF rain OF bull
let's and cannon balls. on his way
cannon ball took of tho head OF the
wounded man. a fact which escaped
the brave fellow, hence he was surpris-
ed as an officer rode up to him and
said: whats the use Of you carrying
TINT fellow? Don't you see his head Is
shot off?"
his burden, many minutes previous
corpse. "DoH gone him. colonel" was
his Indignant response. "he only told
me his leg was shot on"
People living near the Terminal depot
had their curiosity aroused last Sunday
morning. on the creek bank was an
empty coffin, and It bore every Sign OF
having been the abode OF some mortal
not so long ago. Now, Il there's any
thing that gets tongues TO wagglng IT'S
coffin. Like the sight OF SNAKE OF
the fantastic tripping OF a mouse 10
female ewes. there's something unex-
plalnably queer about coffin, A brand
new coffin may have all the adornments
OF the undertaker's art, yet 1t has no
place In parlor decorations. A collins q
coffin, and that's all there's to It.
SO II was that the empty coffin on the
creek bank stirred up a breeze OF mys-
terry. and one OF the Sunday papers d.
lated on Its resting place niong the
creek. Whence It came yet remains n
problem for a Plnkerton, but It oecu-
pied a place in hack going through
The streets late last Saturday night.
Two young men "out for n time" IN
some manner got hold Of Il, and they
gave many OF their friends the cold
chllls by the coffin IN their midnight
calls. As climax, they attempted TO
dump the coffin at the door OF a colored
family, In the Second ward. The In
mates nearly went into commissions at
the sight OF the box. and they made It
70 warm for the "rounders" that flight
was Immediately necessary. The hack
man was forced to convey the coffin to
the creek bank.
lake all uewly-wed people, an Island
couple have their troubles. They
wouldn't DO human II they didn't Re-
turning one night this week from call
they were treated to stage fright, for
the wife on entering their home imaG-
ined burglars were in the house. She
~ AZ. ,,,,, from, tbe Snnth Frnnt street