davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1898-11-13
HUMORS OF CLERICAL LIFE.
EXPERIENCES THAT DIVERSITY THE
PARSONS ROUTINE
From The Cornhill Magazine.

From Tho Cornhill Magazine.
I once asked a district nurse how the various sick
cases had been going on during my abs nee from
the Parish. At orce the look which knew well
crossed her face but her natural professional pride
str3Vc for She mastery with the due righteousness
~ ldst she evolved the following strange mixture:
M iddling well sir; some of ems gone straight TO
ECry. hut ! glad to say others are nicely on
The mend"
on another occasion n man who belonged to
wOIK0Smcn's club in the parish was telling me
serted by his father and mother and more or less
dra.scl U9 10y old aunt who had taken him in.
From the age of twelve he had had to night his
oNN batGr and uHcommOniy well nc had fought II:
] could see how proud he naturally enough was OF
Ms success 1iut in tho midst Of his boastIng he
eoncd eudionly TO realize that perhaps he owed
something 70 higher power. or. at least. he ought
To say 50. he went on You see, sir. / ave
always 'ad to fend Tor myscn liver since | was a
scrap of a l2d'thcn pause castwise. In course.
ta.nv quantity put, but believe genuinely meant.
Speaking Cf the undue stress often laid or httie
thW,s. the local papers of our country towns are
~ times delightful in this way. OF course: they
always contain fun accounts of kniie-andf FORK teas
lclI at the Fotherineiy-cum- Socum PfimitiVe
Methodist New Connection Mission Room. with a
complete list of the "tca-IGakcrS' Miss Jones,
Master r Jones' the Misses J.. l.. and II. Smyths.
otc and how the guests heartily Dartook of the
good fare kindly provided by Mr. and Mrs. Knight.
etc. \ local paper however. which happened TO
see the other day, surpassed itSe.f in its News
from Our Village" ! suppress the name of the
village. but cannot withhold the nature of the
news. Il ran somewhat as follows; Last
SOW weighing ~ stone She WAS indeed splen-
did specimen of the porcne' species: We are in
formed that in spite Of her great size. she was
able 70 walk in ard out Of her sty to the last"
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1898-11-13
WHAT EVERYBODY SAID.

From Bits.
The CicrCyman-Intil death do ye part
The Bridcrroom-At last Oh my darling.
The Bride-Don't. Bert. there's dear, you Il
IKE Faihcr~It's twenty-five years since was
fixed up Bert my boy. and ! trust y9ull-weIl. OF
course the rough goes with .hc smooth
The Mo.hcr-Oh my darling its so hard TO part
with you. ard-bt sure and get seat facing the
engine. g,
thank YOU an on behalf of the ladies'.
The Oldest Frend-lve known her since she was
in short dresses Oh. you needn't blush, my dear,
you had very pretty.
John-As I'm sure. Hiss and Mr. Erbcrt we all
does
one Of the Crowd She amt patch on my Susan.
Another OF the Crowd Don't g look cross? !
let she'll ave a nice temper 10 put up with
The COachman-Any more lug6 isc, miss. beg
The Guard"In lock it. sir aud sce one
gets in-thank ye. sir.
And they were OFF.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1898-11-13

house was about TO be let by reform Board OF
commissioners he walked in and actually secured
the Job They gave him two days TO file bona.
and he went straight to banker, showed nun
where there was money in the scheme, ana III
thirty minutes persuaded him to become his surety
Now mark you. he knew no more about ercciing a
hubble building than a oft-Shcll crab knows about
Greek verbs hut he tclegraphed Immediately TO a
big contracting firm in St Louis, and IN forty
eight hours WAS in consultation with their expert
As result he sublcl the work at figure that lett
him about 81 900 clear profit. after giving me
banker n slice All the time he doing this he
had ONLY his 81 to go on. He used ii for SLAVES
and shines standing OFF everything else. but ne
had the deal closed inside Of three weeks ana mo
spoils saltcd away. Then. of course, he was IN
cover. He made some lucky speculhtonS aiier,
ward in phosphate lands end is worth 20 d'y al
least $50 Co.,"
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1898-11-13
He HAD TIE POSTHOLES.
From fIarper's Magazine.

A short time since quite discussion arose among
the officials of OF pTom;ncn; Southern rall-
roads as TO the reason !or the many VexatiouS
delays and troubles in the transnssion OF i2cai
freight 1t cla ned by some OF the par'its
interested that II caused almost entreIy 10y
the stupidity nc9lriercy OF the local agents
and as there difference of opinion on
this point. 1t was decided that the matter sh0uid
BE tested. To this end tracer was prepared III
due and formal shane. calling for the whereabouts
Of "One Box Posthcles.' which ii was alleged was
missing from a pr.or shipment. This was sent
out I'm the regular order Of business with nothlhS
except rs internal nothngncss TO draw attention
to its unusual character and passed agent aiter
agent without eiciting any comment or informa.,,
ton. the stereOtypcd Endorsement NOT mere.
Some fifteen eighteen local agents were actu-
ally passed In this way. until he tracer icll mo
the hands Of a bright young fellow who was ac-
cus;Omed to looking into the business passing
through his hands and who speedily came TO tie
conc lus.on that the tracer had gone far enough.
At any rate the document went speedily BACK 10
the general Office with the following indorscbleni:
BOX OF posthOlos. per inc!csed, held at ms
station for local charges TO amount OF s. o. WI
be forwarded on receipt Of same Under this IN
dorsenIsnt was written: IN B.-Thc price of beer
at this station is 8, % per keg 1t Is SAID mat
The charges went forward
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1898-11-13
APPROPRIATE TO THE OcClSION.

From The Cl"vel ind Leader.
A teacher in Of the Cleveland public schools
said the other day 10 her class in English com
position:
Now ! wish every member Of thc class would
write ont conversation hotwccn grocer and one
of RS customers. Introducing some pathetic Incl
dent refer, nee"
Among the conn posi- ions handed in the fol
loving by a sweet r'ln girl who may s0mc day
grow up to be- second Oc.avc Thinet Or Many II
wilkins:
What do you want asked the merchant.
The lady replied. "A pound OF tea"
Green or black" asked lie merchant
II think Iii take black" she said. it, Tor /,
funeral"
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1898-11-13
1 LiBOR-SAVIVG HUSBAND.

From The Cincinnati Enquirer.
eyes" she admitted. Il arr going 10 marry nero
OF the war. ., ~ .,
Are you sure you not letting your sent
mpnt run away with your judgment? they asked
''Therc il no sentiment aboul 1t. ne WIZ pe -
handy 70 have around the house TO tell me storHs
that will make my hair curl . a., -,
Woman IS far more practical than in me oays
of chivalry yet she still has i pcnchant lo< pess
sopal adornment
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1898-11-13
ON HASTE."
From The Philadelphil Record.

The postal clerk in an uptown snb-station
glanced ot letter lady hal just handed TO MN.
near "I'n tell you l.tte fable" said the clerk
80. &c there wac a woman who wrote a letter 70
her drcssmaker who was then staying in sub
urban town. asking her to call some time next
week and she put in haste the envelope. as
women do thinking she'd make Uncle Sam hitch
up his brooches and get IN additional move on
him The collecting carrier acciccr tally noticed In
haste on the envelope so he carefully placed II IN
the bottom OF his bag where 1t slipped into hole
in the lining and stayed there three days. When
he clerk at the postofce saw II he laughed painfully
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1898-11-13

teeth brought It 60 him. That's nothirs Aun ss =
has a dog OF such Intelligence that he saw a ga
of wind comm; Tuesday November ]; 1888 anc
jumping upon mis- masters shoulders heo MS 49, ~
on by his teeth until the zephyr had passed Inex
H. brushed m. DUST OF his masters shoulder VIZ.
his tail and Jumped down TO so buy ms masto
the e,.uinr paper containing dn account OF nus eH
plot And we have wiser dogs 'hth Nc
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1898-11-13

kindly thought Of him can be better imagined than
described. especially when he heard the utter from
those assembled on the platform. and noticed mo
Increased interest with which he was regarded by
his companions for the rest OF the journey IL Is
said that His LOrdsnIp Is more wary as to the
subjects nc touches upon In taking TO casual ac-
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1898-11-13

and clbowed the letter off his desk. that it fell
into 4 basket ana remained there three days. The
postmaster Of the sub:rhaD town smiled mournfllly
when he it, and then accidentally put II into
the box Of farmer who drove 10 town for his man
every three days. And when the drcssmaker
got the letter IT The week after next. Yes. II
would surprise you to know how many women put
in haste their letters with the idea that Uncle
sam then bitches up his brooches and gets a move
on him
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1898-11-13
ABOVE SUSPICION

From Fhc London Chronicle
"SIr' sad , member Of a South IDndon |cSuV
in infigDln, tones 4 say the chairman or INC
II .alth Committee who is a builder drinking VIZ
a sanitary Inspector. This may be innocent enough
l don't suggest any thing but II doesn't look wei
hope our officers are not to he influenced Dy =
VIII. sbDVr suspicion
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1898-11-13
CURT1ILNENT.


From The Detroit Journal
1t was a wild day IN the Cortcs
II SIX YOU now" demanded the Ministerial Dep
uty driven to frenzy by the assaults OF the OF
positjon we are to curtail running cApcnacS2'
Don't run so much" shouted Carlst Deputy
And amid cries of "NIVa Espanl!' Put him
olti' and 'Oh. come off the griddc!' the session
closed.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1898-11-13
A "BLJFF THAT WORKED.

From The New Orleans Tmes-Dcmocrat.
Heres a true story Of cold check" Fad local
real estate dealer. Eight years ago Sew-or :.
certain Southern city with just 81 in his pocket.
He was well dressed and had plausible tongue,
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1898-11-13
Az IVTEILIGENT DOG.

From The Lewiston (NeD Journal
"1he Portland Argus Is Dragging about dos
that picked up its masters hat that blew off III
a gale OF wind and holding it carefully in his
El Paso daily herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1881-1901, 1898-10-31

account Of his petroleum wells at Cor
sicans, are now saying that he has the
best watermelon ranch in Texas.-
Waco Times Herald.
El Paso daily herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1881-1901, 1898-10-31

St. Michsel's college has now fifty
one boarding and forty-pine day pupils
and is doing very well.--New Mexican
The Blue Water Irrigation company
is Oily moving forward and the sue.
cess of the scheme is fully assured
Gallup Cleaner.
The anthracite coal pits at Cerrillos
have been started up for the winter,
and there are 500 men on the pay roll.
-Cerril'os Register.
And still another Independent ticket
is being talked of for Colfax county.
The more the merrier, seems to be the
motto there. Mexican.
IF candidates came around loaded
with few tons of coal instead of bot
ties, they wonld meet with a warmer
reception in some Western
Liberal.
Harry Kinsell of Santa Fe, elected
two years ago on the republican ticket
land there is no better officer in the
territory, is a candidate for re-elec-
tiou of the republican convention of
Santa Fe county.
Six months IN New Mexico, three
months in the county aud thirty days
in the precinct qualities any American
El Paso daily herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1881-1901, 1898-10-31

ton being Ex-Governor James Hogg,
Governor Culberson, Congressman Joe
Bailey and many others. Our big
vegetables, fine fruit and grain attract
ed every body.-Sscramento Chief.
The Optic of Las Vegas, and not q
few citizens are in receipt of invita-
ton cards announcing that: THE
ladies of Silver City tender a royal
welcome to the Rough r ders' grand
vited to storm Silver City, (the eme-
raid Of the Rocky mouutains,) ss they
charged the Heights of San Juan.
Here are the keys of the town, fpicture
of keys) Silver City surrenders to
you as did Santiago"
| If the republicans of Gallup consult
their best interests they will give their
vote to the republican ticket. Ar
| rangements are now being made to
give Gallup new county. If the new
county is made it will be the work of
the republicans of the legislature.
Two years ago and four years ago the
Gallup county bill was defeated by the
democratic members of the legislature,
Four years ago in the council Pedro
Perea devoted all his energies to Sc
curing the new county. He was de-
feated by the democratic members,
who had stolen u ma jority of the legis-
le5ur lbuquerque Citizen.
Frank Springer departed last even
ing for Albuquerque to be present to-
day at a meeting OF the New Mexico
commission on irrigation and water
rights. This commission was created
by an act passed by the legislative as
into the conditions existing in the diff
ferent parts of the territory, With re-
ference TO irrigation and water rights,
to examine the laws upon the subject
in force in the territory and in the
states. and to recommend to the next
ley islature such legislation as in the
opinion of the com mission are Antonio
Joseph, Frank Sprir ger, George Curry,
w. A. Hawkins and J. E. Saint. Their
final report to the legislature will be
framed at today's meeting.-Lss We
gas Optic.
A letter from Frank Written, OF
New Mexico, who is engaged in his
fret years work in the United States
naval academy at Annapolis, ells of
| an uproar in the school over the bag
| ing question. The freshmen, after suf-
| ferins repeatedly at the hands OF the
| upper clas-mep, decided TO stand it no
| longer. and announced their intention
| of resiening in body The faculty,
| thereupon, suspended work at the
! academy and engaged in q
thorough investigation. One Of
| the ring leaders chose 30
days solitary confinement on the
| training ship Santa as q substitute for
expulsion. Other upper classmen have
| been punishe d. The president of the
institution declares that he will break
up the practice, and all of the fresh
| men say that the persecution has been
! carried to a point where it cannot and
will not be borne. Frank says that be
has gotten off very easily thus far, but
| he has said with his class In their
sand on the MATERIAL buquerque
Democrat.
One day last week two men came in
| to the SteeplerOck postofi e and asked
for mail. Tuesday evening the same
| two men rode into Steeplerock again,
El Paso daily herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1881-1901, 1898-10-31

and inquired of Hancock Lacy If they
could have their horses cared for. Lacy
took them to the corral. A fter the
horses were put up Lucy turned around
to find staring him in his face q pistol
In the hands of the young fellow. Mr.
Lacy, who is giant in size,
grabbed the young man and took the
gun away from him He
was surprised to fipd that he had the
assistance of the young mans compan
ion, who had given his name as Miller.
Miller told Roberts that he wanted
him for murder, and tn at he was under
arrest 1t appears that Roberts, whose
real name is Wall, is wanted for the
murder of u man and woman near San
Pedro. Arizona, about a month ago;
that Miller, whose real name is Ben
Slaughter, is deputy sheriff from
Coehise county, and was after Wall.
scheming to arrest him without q fight
Wall is a desperate character, and
would not have been arrested without
struggle.
El Paso daily herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1881-1901, 1898-10-31
! Neighbour
! hood Notes.
Texas

Registration just CLOS ed at San An
tonic is 1908 less than in S96.-Sau
Antonio Light.
The West Texas fair and roundup
at Abilene, is now in full swing, with
good weather aud large attendance
Exchange.
Underwood u Daugherty received a
car load of hogs today from Slaughter
and Tsylo~. of Pesrssll most of which
sold at S3 90 C0 So 35.-San Antonio
Light.
Hon. Barnett Gibbs is not prophet
but he Is right in the prediction that
there is going to he a polite IL land
Tide in Texas in Novem ber.-San An
onio Express
Northern papers, not content with
rating Senator Mills as an oil king on
El Paso daily herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1881-1901, 1898-10-31

account of his petroleum wells at Cor
sicans, are now saying that he has the
best watermelon ranch in Texas
Waco Times Herald.
Hogg has designs on the United
States senate in the future, or on the
presidency of that nody as vice presi-
dent of the U nited States an SO keeps
himself in tab with the people. James
Stephen is slick politician and few
there be in the state OF Texas can get
away with him.-Ssn Antonio Light.
We we're told by q populist this
week that they were going to support
judge Noouam for Congress, and that
the republicans would support the po-
pulistsstate ticket. We do not think
this is q fair trade as there are less than
100 republicans in the country. while
the popu1ists poll something over 200
votes.-Llano News.
Every republican and anti-democrat-
&c candidate in Texas is banking al
most exclusive y on democratic ''apa-
thy" for success-and not without some
basis in some sections. To be squarely
beaten in a fair fight would be had
enough, but to al low the election to go
to the enemy by default would be mex
cusable. Houston Post
Temple, Texas, October 25.-Todey
at II O'Clock tragedy occurred on
Drummer Hill, resulting in the death of
one man, the arrest of another. Some
days since Dick Hall and his wife Sc
parated and Mrs. Hall vert to the
home OF her brother, Newt Eddington,
to live. Hall called at the house q
number of times and made himself
generally disagreesble. He was asked
not to return. Today he called, kick
ed the door open and went in, pistol in
hand. AS he did this.
Eddingtou. who was at home,
raised his shotgun and fred twice,
shooting Hall in the arm and hand
They then struggled all over the house
and, both being strong men, the fight
ing was intense. Bud Hall, brother
of Dick, then tried to interfere, but
Eddington, who had secured the pistol,
kept him at bay. Hall and Eddiugto
left the house fighting, and continued
until Hall WAS killed, being terribly
beaten over the head with his own
pistol in the hands of Eddington.
El Paso daily herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1881-1901, 1898-10-31

que ClblISu.
The Ell Paso HERALD has been en-
larged and greatly improved. and ia
now one OF the best papers in the great
southv est. Bro. Smith has work ed
hard to build up good paper in Ell
Paso and he deserves abundant sue
cess.-Albuquerque Citizen.
The democratic campaign managers
are waiting to see what the republicans
| will do at their county convention on
Thursday. 1t is universally admitted
at with good, clean nomination and
loyal support of the ticket the repub-
licans will be successful by large m a.
jority.-New Mexican.
The blue grass in the court house
yard is delightfully."- green and attrsc-
tive to the eye. Las Vegas should have
many blue grass spots. The east side
parks could he made quite as beautiful
by reasonable amount OF care Per-
haps the ladies might take up the sub
ject and organize a park improvement
association.-Las Vegas Optic.
The Sacramento mountain exhibit at
Dallas was honored with some very
distinguished as we'll as interesting
visitors, amongswhom we might men
El Paso daily herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1881-1901, 1898-10-31

citizen to vote at the coming election,
provided he is registered
que Citizen.
El Paso daily herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1881-1901, 1898-10-31
New Mexico.

The Elephant Butte dam case had
been postponed until November 4.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1898-04-21

starts Instantly. and the line begins to
cone In. straining upon the seine. with
Its leads lying upon the bottom a mile
away. Like q moving fence. 1t ad-
vances shoreward, turning back the
bewildered fish. which. in the grasp
Of the net. do not become much fright
ened until it has closed upon three
sides, after which only few find their
way around the ends. Steadily the net
lines come In.
The crews, in the meantime. prepar-
ing for the next haul, take the lines
into the boats as fast as they are un-
reeled from the drums. and lay them in
"A series of great coils along the bot
tom of the boat AS soon as the ends
OF the seine reach the shore it's re-
loading begins.
AS the seine approaches the shore
silence prevails. The area of water in
side the corks which line the seine
shows signs of agitation. Quick swirls
and ruffied waveets cover the surface
Large fishes make rapid curves in and
out again. The splashing increases as
the mass Of fishes is pulled and crowd
ed on the beach. Huge sturgeon slide
heavily through the glistening mass
until struck with gaff hoof in the
hands Of a wiry negro. Everything
Is pulled out high and dry, the Tapping
soon ceases. and the dead mass lies
In the active, brilliant shoal of fish
which came up in the net.
The catches oftentimes are enormous.
On DIR. Capeharts plantation. at Avoca.
nearly 100000 herring were brought in
at one haul of the seine. 1t required so
men several hours to get them ashore.
The pile. when in the dock, measured
so feet long, 22 wide and two feet deep.
For comparison sake, the fish would
have filled 20 coal cars. 1t has been
reliably stated that as many as 400, 600
herring have been saved from a single
haul of the seine in Albemarle.-Frank
A. Haywood.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1898-04-21
klu1dike
Alaska! Why nar
tei " ur share Ur
III. tt,ant fn.,t,,a

'l'e Frtal lOri uhes-
10 be- r'd.izec from the wonderful niscnyeries
aircndy uade AZ Il 10 lie maCe In tbs New KIon-
dike-Alaskn-Eldora TIE NASuING
TON GOLD FIELDS EXPLORATION COM
PANl und 'r It's character Is aUtuCr 4 t,trns
pct for ~ d ucq'ire Mining ,Claius AID p,on
critics Ia TIE wo derIul gold feds of KIuodike
AMI Al'sSa lmmersc fortunes ave .lr,ady
hcn r. frzcd aud millions iu,rc vii lie mnd,-
there. W.ll yor allow this golden rpportl.nity-
To pass you by \ few dollars invested IN.
III 'hiS undertaking may lie toe lou datiun Ia.
your fortune The r'sn Ia tie Mold rand uec-
cs ittcs iumcdinie ac ion. TIE first in the
fed ~" FIR, In fnrta,c. No och opportunity
hscVcr h en- rescn'rd 10 the pcope uf the
present gcrcrat,n ~ il or red IN the klon-
dikr-Ai,sEa Gold f1cl.s. Al shareholders
get their lHll proportion If all rroNt.. No dhi-
de'ds are made on stock I,iuaining unsold,
Scnd Your orders enclosing One Dollar for en-, h.
share o: fully rad-u aud non.u-scs,nbc stock
desired To the NASIl iNGToN GOLD FIELDS
EXPLORATION COMPANY, TACOMA, Wash
ington.
The fellow inS Tacoma dealers In supplies FOR
thc klondikc aud Alaska trade are Stockhold-
crs in the Company aud wilInf rm you re- ard
ing the reliability 90 its officers: Monty u
Morris Gross Co, Dry Goods nul Clc hing: W
q. Rowland, ouIlit,cr; Hugo Fcltz, Tents
Tacoi"G hardware Co. lO.2s-Iyr.