Arizona republican., 1898-07-31
COOLEY ON CUBANS.

Well, sir," said MT. Dooley, "dam thim Cubians. If I was Gin'ral Shaf ter I'd back up tn wagon in front iv tn dure an I'd say to Gin'ral Garshy I'd say, I want you,' an I'd nave thim all down at tn station an dacently booked by tn desk clerk befure tn fall iv night. Tn inlpydince iv thim!"
 What have they been doin'?' MT. Hennessy asked.
 "Failin' to understood our civili- zation," said Mr. Dooley: "Ye see il was this way. This is tn way 1t was Ginral Garshy with wan hundhed thoMsan' mems been fghtin' bravely f'r two years fir to liberyate Cubia Fl two years he's been marchin his siv- inty-fye thousan' men up an down tn island desthroyin' th' taughty Span yard be tn millyons. Whin lva,r was declared he offered his own sarvica a1' tn sarvices iv his army iv fifty thou san men to tn United States, an while waitin' fir ships to arrive he marched at tn head iv his tin thousan' men down to Sandago de Cubia an captured a cigar factory which they soon Tayjooced to smokin' ruins They was holdin' this osition-Gin'ral Gar shy an his gallant wan thousan' men -whin Gin'ral Shatfer arrived. Gin'- ral Garshy immedjitly offered tn sar- vices iv himself an his two hundherd men f'r tn capture iv Sandago, an whin Gfn'Ial Shafter arrived, there was Gin'ral Garshy with his gallant band iv fifty Cubians re-ready to eat at a minyit's notice
 "Gin'ral Shafter is big, cocrse, two-fsted man firm Michigan, an whin he see Gin'ra1 Garshy an his twinty y-fve gallant follows, 'Fr-ront, says he. This way he says, step lively he says, an move some 1v these things he says. Sir, says Gin'ral Garshy, dye take me fir dhray?' he says. I'm sojer,' he says, not a bag gage car,' he says. I'm a Cubian pa thrite an I'd lay down me life an the lives iv iv'ry wan iv tn eighteen brave men iv me devoted army he says but I'll be damned if I carry a thrurk he says. I'll fight whiniver 'tis cool he says, 'an' they ain't wan iv these twelve men here that wudden't follow me to hell if they was awake at tn time,' he says, but he says, if twas wurruk we were 1ockin' TT we cud have found it long ago., he says. 'They'se lot iv it in this country that nobody's usin',' he says. What we want he says, is freedom he says. am if ye think we have been in tn woods dodgin' tn savage corryspon- dint f'r two years he says, fir tn sake iv r-rushin' ye'er laundhry home he says, "tis no wondher,' he says that tn r-roads firm Marinette to Kal- amazoo is paved with goold bricks bought by the people iv ye'er native state he says
 So Shafter had to carry his own thrunk an well it was fir him that it wasn't Gin'ral Miles, tn weather be- in hot. An Shafter was mad clear through, an whin he took hold iv San dago an was sendin' out invitations he scratched Garshy. Garshy tock his gallant band iv six back to tn woods and there th' three iv thin ar-re now. ar-rnled with forty r-rounds iv canned lobster an r-ready to raysist to tn death. Him an tn other man has written to Gin'ral Shafter to tell him what they think iv him, an it don't take long"
 We'll" said MT. Hennessy, T think Shafter done wrong He might've asked Garshy in fir tn show, seein' that he's been hangin' ar-round fir a long time, doin' tn best he, cud''
 Tt isn't that" explained MT Doc ley. 'Th' throuble is tn Cubians don't understand our civilization. Over here freedom means hard wur- ruk. What is tn ambition iv all iv us, Hinnissy? 'Tis ayether to hold our job