New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1898-10-09
THE TALK or THE DAY.

An English rural clergyman says that in his par
.sh It was quite the fashion for the man, when
giving the ring In marriage ceremony. TO say To
the woman: with my body thee wash up. and
with all my hurdle goods thee and thou" He
said the were better up In this part OF tho
service than the men one day. however. bride
startled him by promising. in what she supposed to
be the language OF the prayer-book, to take her
husband ITO ave and to old from this day fornit
for beterer horse for rcherer power, in sggerness
health to love cherries and TO bay What mean
ing this extraordinary VOW conveyed to the wom-
ans own mind the incumbent said. baffed him to
conjecture
M H sD M9sher-why Mary what's the matter with
Mary~Sure ma'aM he's been cryin all the way
home because the sells fruit told him he
never kept star-spangled bananas-tTruth
Enthusiast for Humanty--It was my privilege
this afternoon TO do so much for the uplifting Of
our unfortunate brothers and sisters.
Frend-How so?
Enthusiast for Humanl,y-Oh just went to my
room and thought beautiful thoughts about the
slums below Fourteenth-st.
when a mans upper lip s feeble" snorted
Rivers. that he has to wear his mustache In
sling ..s - :, .ha,,o bot,v demorded
You, said Rivers.
Il saw you the other day with your mustache in
sling" .. NJ. ,u ma, na- h,t
Don't try to crawl out Of 1t, Brooks"
You'll be sorry if You say Hyoo nohe wo w SsSi
L0ok s in me eye SO
a-gn-sling Brooks. II you throw that .nkstand
I'll break your head'-tChicago Tribune
An English Member Of Parliament who was ad
dressing a political meeting some time ago. hoping
thereby 10 create little enthusiasm among the
workingmen exclaimed: when the polling day
comes YOU coed fellows must stick to like
bricks" A hardy OF toll. who knew from eX-
perience that bricks had no adhesive property rose
In the middle OF the hall and said: You mean like
mortar don't you sir?" Roars Of laughter greeted
this correction Of the ignorance of the candidate
Little Archibald was saving his prayers the other
head and thinking OF something else. Suddenly it
struck her that the child had wandered from the
text Of the supplicaton that he had been taught to
What is that darng?" she interrupted. Go
give us this day our daily pie and cake and
why. my love- that isn't right" the surprised
mother broke in that isn't what mamma taught
II know" little, Archibald replied. but ! don't
want any more daily bread. I'd rather have pie
Nigh, as we'll ask for what you want the most
cleveland Leader.
The Rev c. P.errepont Edwards until recently
curate in Southwark London. frequently assisted
the police by thrash!ng ruffian.. He was hurt only
once when he received n shght dow from nrute
who gave the police considerable trouble. On one
occasion he successfully tackled three roughs who
insultcd his wife. Whenever he got blow in it
was sure to tell and the recipient never waited for
more.
A Serious Onence-Ma gistrate-What is the
charge against this man. officer?
Poiceman-Openn' saloon at O'CLOCK IN the
marnin Yer Honor.
Observation-Disclosures is his saloon?
Poceman-He amt got none, Yer Honor II was
n v
brooklyn Life.
A Harvard official who has been abroad is thus
quoted by The Boston Transcript: II return TO
the Harvard Library with delight have learned
the lesson that there is no library the European
Continent that compare with our own In rich
ness and. above all, in the availability ard the
accessibility Of books 1t has been my experience
that whatever literary wealth may be possessed by
European libraries the rule II that either a large
amount OF red tape must be gone through before
book is in the hands OF the student. or else that
II Is not accessible all except to few favored
personages
In a Georgia court not long since a case involv-
Ing jackass came on for trial The attorneys.
after ndulging in fine frenzy. entered the fo-
| lowing inspired motion on the docket:
III the Court will consent. we will take up case;
| II treats not OF section country or race.
II is OF no interest 10 any. be II ladies or lass
II begins and 1t ends with humble jackass.
Thereupon the Judge hastily summoning his muse
to his assistance entered up the following order;
This coming on, this day 10 be heard,
| Considered by the Court to be quite absurd.
| And the motion herein the Court doth decide
| TO be hereby overruled and denied
| And the movers thereof shall not be exempt,
! From fine OF 81 each for contempt,
| Wherein. until paid the Court further passes.
| As sentence that they be deemed said Jackasses"
l -tLaw Notes.