The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1898-07-09
DOOLEY HEARS THE NEWS.
He Tells Mr.. Hennessy of the Destruc-
ton of Cervera's Fleet.
IFrom the Chicago journal


LFrom the Chicago JournaL1
ct hear" said EIr. Hennessy, that tn
stereopticons on tn newspapers have
sthruck.''
Il sh'd think they wud." said Mr..
Dooley. 9TH las time I was down
town was Fiction night whin Charter
Haitch's big la-ad was ilicted an they
was wurrukin' tn stereopticons till they
was black in tn face. What's tn
news?"
.'Th' What Cheer. Iowa, Lamp iv
Freedom is on tn sthreets with a lilly
gram that Shafter has captured Sandal
do de Cuba an is now sittin' on Gin'ral
Pando's chest with his hands in his
hair. But this is denied be tn Palo
GazoOt, tn Macoupin County Raygis-
Their, an the Meridyan sthreet
Afro-American. I also see be
tn Daily Scoor Gard, tn Wine
List, the Deef Mute's Spokesman, tn
Morgue Life, the Bill iv Fare, tn Stock
Yards Straight Steer, an Jacks Tips
on tn Races, the only daily paper print
ed in Chicago, that SIMPSONS fleet is
in tn Suez canal bOmbarding Cades.
TIL Northwestern Christyan Advocate
says this is not thrue, but that George
Dixon was outpOinted be an English
boxer in a twinty-r-rOuHd go in New
York"
we've got things mixed up" said Mr.
DOOley. I get the news straight.
Twas this way. TIL Spanish fleet was
bottled up in Sandago harbor an they
dhreW tn cork. That's a joke. I see
it in tn pa-apers. TIL gallant boys fV
tn navy was sittin' out on tn deck de-
fndin their country an dhrawin
three ca-ards apiece whin tn Spanish
admiral concluded 'tWud be better FIR
him to be destroyed on tn ragin sea,
him bein' a sailor, thin to have his fleet
captured be cav'lry. Anyhow he was
willin' to take a chance, an he says to
his sailors: 'Spanyards,' he says Cas-
tiles he says, we have ct tn las bed
tick AN if ST9V here long
err he says, III have to have a steak
off the armOr plate fried FIR ye,' he says.
Lave US go out where we can have
r-run FIR our money he says. An
away they wint. I'll say this much FIR
him, he's q brave man, a dam brave
man. 1 don't like a Spanyard no more
than We do, Hinnessy. 1 niVer see wan.
But if this here man was a-was a
BoOhlgryan, I'd say he was a brave
man. If I was aboord wan iv thin
yachts that was cOnvarted, I'd go to
this here Cervera an I'd say: Manuel
I'd say, 'ye'er all right, me boy. Ye
ought to go to a doctor an have ye'er
eyes reset, but ye'er good fellow.
Go downstairs I'd say, into tn base
mint iv tn ship I'd say, an open tn
cupboard jus mex to tn head iv tn
bed an find TIL bottle marked 'Flori-
day water an threat ye'erself kindly
That's what I'd say to Cervera- He's
all right.
well, whin our boys see the Span
ish fleet comm out iV tn harbOr they
tional anthem: They'll be a hot time
in tn OF town tonight A lift-nant
come up to where Admiral Sampson
was sittin' playin' sivin up with Admir-
al Schley. Bill he says, TIL Spanish
fleet is comm out he says. What
talk have YEP says Sampson. Sind
out some row boats an a yacht an de-
sthrOy thin. Clubs is thrumDs,' he
says, an he wint on playin'. TIL Span
fsh fleet was attacked on all sides be
our br-rave la-ads, nobly assisted be
tn dispatch boats " tn newspapers.
Wan be wan they were destroyed.
Three battleships attacked tn cOnVart-
ed yacht Gloucester. TIL Gloucester
used to be owned be PierpOnt Morgan,
but twas cOnvarted. an is now leadin'
all, the ChristObell Comma, the VisceTa
an tn Admiral O'Quinn. It thin Wfnt
up to two Spanish torpedo boats an
give thin wan punch an away they
Wiut. BE this time TIL sOjers had heerd
of tn victhery an they gathered on tn
They'll be a hot time in tn oil town to-
night, me baby TIL gIOryOus OF chune
to which WaShin' ton an Grant an Lin
con marched, was took up he tn sailors
on tn ships an Admiral Cervera r-run
wan w his boats ashore an jumped into
tn sea. At last accounts tn fOllowin'
dispatches had been received: To Will
lium Mckinley: Congratulations on
ye'er noble victhOry. (Signed) Willium
Mckinley. TO Russell A Alger: Ye
done splendid. (Signed) Russell A AL
ger To James Wilson, sicrety lv ag-
riculture: This is a great day FIR
IOway. Are we much hurried?
(Signed) James wilson
Where did We hear all this?'' asked
Mr.. Hennessy in great amazement.
I r-read it, said Mr.. Dooley impress
sively, in tn Stats zeitung."