The Winslow mail., 1898-10-01
sAXET HATS the matter, June Bride
wv groom? You look out of

Sorts" said Mr.. Golden Wedding, as
they met on the Staten Island ferryboat.
my looks do not belle my feelings. l
feel out of Sorts" answered the young
man, disconsolately.
whats the matter, young man?'
asked Mr.. Golden Wedding, cheerfully
mad because you couldn't go to the
front, or did that wonderful baby keep
you up all night?''
"Oh, if that baby howleG from dark
till day 1 wouldn't get up to touch it, ,"
retorted June Bridegroom, in an in
jured tone "No, the baby isn't bother
ing me and I've ceased to want to go
to the front. The fact of the matter is,
Mr.. Golden Wedding, I'm expecting
some interesting charges and attacks
and skirmishes at home this summer,
to say nothing of little bushwhacking
and guerrilla warfare"
"Tut, tut; tell me what's the NATTER"
said the old man.
"Folks-in-law," was the answer, de-
livered with feeling. They're coming,
my wife's mother, her two sisters, her
brother, who is a college junior, and
her 12-year-old brother, who is--well, L
was about to say the very devil him
self, but l won't. Yes, they're coming,
next week, and they're coming to stay
through the month. BY Jove, how l
dread it! But L guess | ought to stand
it since folks-in-law are necessary evils.
: 1 never could understand why some
of my married friends used to advise
oil 10 c.i,J
like Topsy, jes' growed, girl without
relative in the world. [ understand
now. You see l know what l am talk
! ing about, Mr.. Golden Wedding. I had
'em for a month last summer, and it's
awful"
Mr.. Golden Wedding fairly roared.
Then he remarked: You talk about
your wife's relatives as if they were
Jim jams"
/ I'm like the small boy who never
could see the difference between cause.
and effect" said June Bridegroom.
You're so well along in years that [
suppose your folks-in-law have all
died.
"Yes," answered the old man, with
sigh of unaffected regret, "I'm sorry
j to say they are dead. The happiest
memory of the past is the visits that
we used TO have from my folks-in-law,
and Mrs. Golden Wedding says she loves
nothing better than to think over the
happy hours spent with her people-in-
law. l know you think me crazy, be-
cause nine men and nine women out
of every ten run down their follzs-in
law. They begin to do this because
they think it is the proper thing TO
do, 1T becomes second nature with them,
and finally man and wife end by really
dislilling each Others relatives. That's
a most unjust thing to do, and il makes
life far less comfortable and smooth for
a couple. June Bridegroom, take the
advice of an old man and experienced
one in all points of matrimOny; learn
to be fond of your folks-in-law, and
teach your wife to be fond of hers.
You ask how? This way. Do not treat
them as folks-in-law. You know my
wife and / were married 50 years ago
last December. The term 'in-law' has
never once been used in our family in
reference to our own relatives.
Ny mother was the dearest lit
tie white-haired woman in the
world. When 1 took my sweet
heart home for the first time after
our engagement was announced she
met her and said: You are my daugh-
ter, dear, and 1 am your mother. You
nave just as much right in this home,
just as much right to our love as my
own daughter has, and want you to
begin now to call me mother. ! never
want the term "in-law" to enter your
mind, much less pass your lips about
this family, and l want my son to feel
exactly the same way about your
parents and sisters and brothers. Let
this be one marriage in which no in
laws figure was amazed and so was
my sweetheart, but the idea took right
hold of us both. l can tell you, June
Bridegroom, Mrs. Golden Wedding
acted like the brick that she is. She
called my father and mother just what
l called them, and a stranger would
never have imagined THAT she was
prospective daughterin-law instead
of an own daughter. l took the cue
from her and treated her family in
the same way, or rather accepted them
on the very same terms, and l tell you
the three families spent many happy
days together. One day, when every
! member on both sides was visiting al