Kansas City journal., 1898-03-09
KANSAS TOPICS.

KANSAS TOPICS.
'I notice." said the Chicago drummer,
that the Galena papers say there are
coolies of snipe down in that part of the
state, which brings up the recollection OF
some experience had in the snipe business
in Southeast Kansas myself few years
ago. A lot of US had gathered in town and
were talking about hunting snipe. There
was a guileless appearing stranger in the
group. who seemed deeply interested, but
entirely unsophisticated. We thought we
had struck a good thing, and proposed a
snipe hunt, with the guileless stranger as
leading actor. OF course, that snipe joke
is mighty ancient. No doubt it was one
of the first practical jokes that Noah's
boys tried to work after they got out OF
the ark; but then, once in while. even
yet, you will find man who hasn't heard
of 1t. and we thought we had found one
of that kind of men. Well, gentlemen.
never saw a sucker who appeared to take
hold more satisfactorily. He seemed to be
redhot to go, and agreed that as he wasn't
much acquainted with the country or the
favorite haunts Of the snipe, that 1t would
be the proper thing for him to hold the
sack and candle and let the rest of the
crowd drive in the birds 1t occurred to
me afterward that the fact that the
stranger didn't seem to catch onto any
thing ought to have excited some suspicion.
for he didn't have the appearance OF a
hopeless blamed fool. but We were so
tickled thinking about the fun We were
going to have at his expense that we didn't
suspect anything. 1t was getting along
late in the fall. and when the party got
ready to start the stranger suggested that
he had come away from home without his
hoI haQ
I had just bought, and he suggested that
II would be SO kind as to lend 1t to him
till the hunt was over, he would be more
than willing to go. Another one of the
fellows had a sealskin cap and pair OF
gloves that had cost him altogether $s5.
The guileless stranger actually persuaded
the owner of that cap and gloves to lend
them for the evenings entertainment. Well.
gentlemen, we took that stranger out into
the timber and left him in the solitude
and drove off. We had an immense amount
of fun for while after we got back to
the hotel describing to the assembled crowd
just how that stranger appeared standing
out there holding that sack and candle,
with look of patient expectancy on his
countenance; but when midnight passed
and the stranger didn't show up some of
us began to get little uneasy. In the
morning he hadn't shown up yet, and we
instituted q search. We hired livery team
and drove out to the locality where we had
left him, and on tree we found the sack,
which was paper, hanging on tree. with
this inscription in legible, in fact, in ele-
gant business hand: 'Gentlem0p, business
engagements call me hence. Please accept
my thanks for the overcoat, cap and gloves.
I hope the fun you have had will fully
compensate you for the expense. Amuse-
ment sometimes comes high, but blooded
gentlemen like you. Of course, will have 1t
regardless of cost. I have worked this
game before on numerous occasions. but
do not now recollect ever having struck as
easy a mark as I have this evening. IT We
should never meet again, just tell them
that you saw me-" And the drummer had
a far-away look in his eyes as he drew a
combination bottle and glass from his sam
Pile case and passed it around.
speaking Of the kind Of people you meet
I'D with in Kansas" said the real estate
agent, reminds me Of a character we used
to have down in well known town in
Southwest Kansas. He kept Kansas drug
store, and his name was Ell S. Ell had
brand of liquor that simply peeled the
scales off anything I ever saw In the way
Of spirituous refreshments. 1t is an actual
fact, gentlemen, that the whisky in that
barrel would eat out an oah ouie Na .hise
weeks, and a pint OF 1t poured over wood
en- cigar sign wouid give II tne oeiir,uii ire
mems. Ell was something OF phiiosopner
and man OF grandiioquent speech. he
had immense faith IN MS 2oiiity 10 manage
men and regarded himself as born diplo-
mat. He resented any intimation that he
was foe to temperance and declared that
he was the greatest friend of true sobriety
in tho town. The difficulty with most So
called temperance people ne used to say,
as he Strengthened himself up with great
dignity. is that they do not understand the
avenues through which men are reached
and Influenced. My method of managing
these persons who come in from the range,
commonly known as cowboys, is at once
simple, reasonable and eff1cacious. do not
bluntly refuse these persons any liquid re-
| freshment thus OFFENDING them and per-
| haps driving them to excessive bibulation
| in order to vent their spite and to show
that they do not heed my words; on the
| contrary, the proper method of dealing with