The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1898-06-05
THAT WON'T GO HOWE
n sUBURBAN EXPERIMENT TBAF
DISCREDITs HISTORY.

In the CsuntrS-OppertunIty Ter ntudJing
Cate - Aneiont EEJptlaR NotIsna UPSET.
Take cats, for instance" said Mr.. Suburban
lite, refectivoly. You people In the city know
nothing Rb--t 49,"
There il o fence back to my house." suRResp
ed Brown, ION which l have shot"
There you go MS usual" interrupted Mfr.
suburbanito, trying to contradict my state.
ments and proving them out of your own mouth.
AL cats are alike to you. They were to mo be.
fore ] moved into the country. looked upon .
cat as a domestic animal, which purred in the
house and made an awful racket out doors,
preferably at night and under your bedroom
window. That is true as far as It goes, but,
bless you. that isn't even the A B @ Of catology,
/ know some things very definitely about cats.
When l left homo this morning there were
seventeen In my house and cellar, and the lSh-
man and fruit man yet to DO heard FROM"
you must be running q menagerie up there
in Suburbanville," said Brown. land perhaps
it Is a good thing to do II you live fifteen mileS
from Central Park. Personally, you know, I
prefer to pay humble taxes to tho city and lot
them run the menagerio. Don't let me inhu-
ence you, however. l knew a sensible chap in
New York who moved into the Latin quarter
OF Yonkers, and within six months he had
added to his menageric a tapir, two big dogs. q
giant kite. q small brown bear, All undertaken
in his barn, a donkey, a parrot, and a tame peli.
can. Said he was lonely up there, and that he
needed something to relieve the monotony. So
you have begun on cats, and 1t doesn't surprise
me in the least. 1t was q foreRone conclusion"
'Thc circumstances in my case arc peculiar"
said Mr.. Suburbanite, alphabetically. II don't
like cats. They annoy mo. Mrs. Suburbanito
docs like them, and she searched in vain for q
cats l must tell you that tho tradesmen in our
town work thei- customers in gangs, For in
mends you to get your milk OF Smith, your
meat Of Killem, and your groceries OF Sand.
town will rob you. II, however, you happen to
order ice when You arrive from Sawdust, he
recommends an entirely different list Of ban.
dts and warns you against the Jones crowd.
You cannot struggle against these combina-
Whole string out. Mrs. suSUTba mHs' HAPPENED HipS
to SEQ u handsome cat at the grocer's two weeks
ago, and she asked him where she could get Q
"l viii find one for you. and send it for In
Mrs. Suburbanite told me that evening that
At last she had a kitten engaged; Two hours
ing we were awakened by hearing the cook
Mercy on US! What is it, Take 1t away
Tits with the compliments of Sand, tho
G Gnis fr.t All SsG Eoods Hi Il .aoet, to r eTGIi%5Bt ! ,G snS
masculine voice. and then the door slammed.
! taSle was a s 8 9Sfso .% Ss Of G sSisS ot k So g rap 6ES%
moving object on the frat floor, and then with
jSGS sn caPon es % Vioiensig against sRs Ssfi the 'd do5 taFe ef
our bedroom, circled around every room on the
s Sss% to 90o5, and md e. then ,t diI,1PIp eSS;Sl 4 = ~ : W iR,.;
floor: The subsequent proceedings ON the third
foSF ; Z PSlSy SHd a aisonIas.d. what wa,
"'New. don't be foolish said Mrs. Suburban.
lite. I suspect that 1t 10 our new cat
'Then It must be having a At, Just hear 10
now rushing around like mad on the top floor
by, that remark. The first thing an intelligent
cat does on getting into q new home is to make
an inspection Of the entire house. Then they
That. cat must be a quick observer. then I
MISREPRESENTATION Of this house. Perhaps tho
Further comments wore interrupted by the
we don't want another. Don't ' You dare ARE let an Is
ont q that bag. Don't you dare, I say.
This time the crash,Sounded suspiciously like
Q vase. and as the noise went round and round
floor, started up a curtain. came down, oy.
cloned up the stairs, and combined in anger with
ian padrono whose gang cuts cut grass every
other day conveyed the Information ia loud
tones that it was "a nice-a cat AA'%'A cat
Two said Mrs. suburbanite.
tho house @aS tn Than a'f sSs n r. ~ ! PG sasrG RlssI0d 'S S':a
me; but the architect win be disappointed.
Their sleep and 50 we sroae. As 1 started down.
stairs to warn the cook that there was murder
e celh q eGn sro Sn 0 the i house o oR the ss Gravel miiK Waik,
threw in a misunderstanding cat with the re-
81 heard yez vas looking fer = cat, SO I
comPiem M atSH u the ~ Put wSIEV COUNTY ag Z cr SlIn N:
Cat No. 8 was IN ,SSGGSchh a hurry e get up
went Town and locked the Kitchen door and
told Mary to make al trad:.ms1 leave their
opened the door. The noise on the third floor
was terrific in spots; When Mrs; suburbapite
that no home was complete without q cat. It's
a mistake. Brown, to believe that you can lead
!. d does Ho' know GoTs the IL SHFsTsi Net bsiw s%Sn HS To !
g rE'lV we had nnishsd BREAKFAST the cross:
{ hall window from the outside, tossed in a SnGrl-
: ing. angry mass Of fur. and shouted;
s sEss S $sjRs S;sJ TtsSF J SsEin s: : s and 1 sss;r q S as
i a1slsnch hs St. 1%r which fIet i r. ye sihiS% esssssa, a sm1 A'
under Sf feSE toms S"A Of eoai, ! renamed. I paid foI
= six, and l know that there must have been at
2 "Poor thing said Mrs. suburbanite, and
then had to hurry for my train.
ante looked nervous.
How mcnyr asked; u., .,
Z can't get them down. The one in the parlol
broke my cloisonn6 lamp and two vases. and
then hid under the couch. There is one In the
storeroom which seems to have fits. and the
o others are in the collar. Every tradesm0E
n who has called to-day brought a cat. Before
q the grocer fouid ono for me he notified eaot
other member &the combination. and every
d one suct eedod inSSpturinE q cat. am SURF
o i don't know what we arc going 10 do
a 1--WE are going to deal with the cats first
~ and then I'll attend TO the trAdesmen.' said I
Cats have been domestic animals for thou
sands OF years. and in Egypt, way back in thu
lawn of recorded history, they were sacreC
animals. II my NoAh's Hrk with which
played as a boy was historically correct. Noah
% took two cats on his boat to get them ont Of tn
A wet. For these and other reasons. the nature o
: the cat has been carefully studied. One of ~
characteristics is lite attachment to home.
10 have heard. Mrs. Suburbanite. that II you car
IA ried a cat miles away from home in q bag AM
- released 1t. the cat would come back