Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1898-06-01
HUMoR OF THE DAY.

"He's rather timid, is he note"
every. Why, he's SO timid that he's
scared by war-scares!"-Puck.
He-'Then I go-and for ever.
She-"Very WE'LL But don't call to-
morrow evening; for Isha'n't be in:"-
Life. ,.,,
'Harry, do you love your little
baby brother?" "What's the use?
he wouldn't know it if I did?-Tld-
Bits. ;,
''Bix1ey is sad wag:"
Potts-"E Especially when none will
laugh OF his jokes. Indianapolis.
Journal.
eli doesn't do any good to scold the
ianitor about orr cold rooms. Yes,
it does. I get ell warmed up when I
talk to him. ."-Chicago News.
she-'I like your impudencs. 1
haven't reached the bargain counter
vet" He-"You would BE bargain
on any counter. ."-Harper's Bazaar.
\ I've heard the sweeping statement made
Thatmoney talks; tits funny,
For certain species not verbose
The kind known as hush-money.
Father "Henry, have you and
your new watch parted company al
readyq" Henry Qaconicallyl
"Broke." Observation-Disclosures
elers' Journal.
The Uncle-"Are you entirely salts, is,
fed with your lot?" The Niece still
angry at her grandfather's will)-"No,
I'm not. It ought to have house on
it."-Harlem Life.
Wiggles-"My physician has order
ed me never to take active exercise
after hearty meal" Waggles-
"Well. what of it?" Wiggles-
board. -Somerville Journal.
"Young Mr.. Tizzens called on me
last week." said Maud. DID ne!
replied Mamie. sHe told he was go
inc to reserve all disagreeable duties
for Lent" Washington Star.
Mr.. 'Hunter-'I have speaking
acouaintance with Miss Throckmor-
tom" Mr.. Spatts-''You are very
lucky. All her other aoqualntances
are listening acquaintance. s."-Judge.
rTis not the man who really tolls
That makes the greatest row;
'Tis he with nothing else to do,
Who stands around the whole day thro'
- ''D '-'' washington Star.
D;ok1 Doolittle-"I feel veal devil
ish to-day! Let's do something out
of the ordinary" Teddy Thoughtless
Gail wight; we'll. have 'bweaktsst
food for dinner, doncher-know. -
Judge.
The Sitting One Jones is SO near
] sighted he once took o man for o,
a;porafe. The. Standing one-ssThat''s
salf!l s].5l IsaR9a. i; took lady foE 2
Monthly. 80. =. 3.
"I tell you, he is a Spanish sympa-
thizer. He must be. 'tBut why?"
che has three different arguments to
illustrate how the Maine affair might
have been an accident. ."-Philadelphia
North American.
Mrs. Ar think your husband is
very quiet dresser" Mrs. b
"H'm! You might change your ,opin-
ion if you heard him looking for his
clothes some mornings. Browning,
King & Co. IS Monthly.
Admirer (time 2:sO q. m.)-'tHas
your father any objection to my pay
ing you visits, Miss Maud?" Miss
Maud-"O, no : but-er-I think
that he'd rather you paid them in in
stallments. Brooklyn Life.
Ethel-"Why didn't you attend
Professor Dumps lecture on The
Cycles of Timc?' 1t was very inter
esting." Maude-"The subject of
the lecture was embarrassing to me.
You know, dear, T bought my wheel
on the installment plan. ."-Pittsburg
Press.
"I want war;" said Billets, face
tiously, "because I am in hopes that
in that way some of my creditors will
be killed .off." 'I suppose" re-
marked Crisp, "that you would rather
see them killed outright than have
them starve to death. philadelphia
North American.
| Deepest American Lake.