Chicago eagle. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1889-19??, 1898-11-19
lt4 |! Is ! (!

much. Boston Transcript.
Teacher--N1ary, make a sentence
with dogma as subject. Mary after
careful thought)-Thc dogma has three
puppics.-Ex.
"DiG you say the man was shot in the
woods. doctarT mo, I didn't; I said
he was shot in the lumbar region
iOnkers Statesman.
FOOtlight-Who Is the most promls.
Ing person In your company? Sue
Brcttc-Oh. the manager. by all means.
-.ionkcrs Statesman.
"Snagsby Is the most devoted golf;
man l ever met. The only meat he
eats Is sausage" "Ball!" mo, links"
cleveland Plaindcalcr.
There's young woman who makes
little things count" GLOW does she
do itT' Teaches arithmetic in a pr.
mary schOol."--Boston Globe.
What a sanguinc man Cooper Isl"
"Sanguine? lie advertised for mid.
dlc-agcd typewriter girl and expected
to get Observation-Disclosures Herald.
Tommy" said the teacher to pu.
ril In the Juvenile class, "what Is syn.
tax?' 81 guess It must be the tax on
whisky" replied Tommy.-Chicago
News.
Bllster-1'd like to see that new de.
vice OF yours for preventing the theft
OF n watch. Kister--Can't show 1t. 1t
was stolen from me yesterday by a
pickpocket.
MARY. there's dust on the piano Mt
least six weeks old" but, Mlssis,
that's the fault of the last mald-1ve
only been here three weeks."-Flie.
gcndc Blaettcr.
The lady In the sunbOnnct-Oh.
guess you think whatever you say goes.
The lady In the curl papers-If you
hear II, 1t does; II goes all over the
neIghbOrhood.
Studcnt-Fcllows. the sheriff came to
my rooms to-day. lie seems to me
Just like a child. All-How SO? STU.
dent-Hc wants everything he secs!-
Lustige Blaettcr.
Stranger-1s your society here very
select? Arizona Al-See them graves
over thar? They was all filed by fel.
lcrs who came to our dances without
invitashuns.-Brooklyn Life.
Miriam-Dld you take the picture Of
the young man on the mantel? Mil.
drcd-Ycs. Mlrlam-F'ricnd Of yours
I suppose? Mildred--Well. he was bc.
fore took the picturc.--Yonkcra
Statesman.
The Soldiers Mothcr--I got lcttcl
from George today. and he Is gruin'
bling about the vlctuals In the army,
The Soldiers Wifc-I am glad to hear
that he Is making himself ut home.-
Indianapolis Journal.
Reelman Ito gucst)-Oh. I assure you
that l never make business Of Ash
ing; merely fish for recreation. Mrs
Reelman-Ycs. and that's about tho
only thing ever knew him to catch.-
Richmond Dispatch.
Smith thc good fathcr)--When I shy
anything In the presence of my chill
dren, dm very careful to have 1t &C
: curatc. Jones (thc wretched bachelor
Yes; suppose they'd call you down
II 1t wasn't.-DetrOit Journal.
\ wag the other day asked his friend
: "How many knavcs do you suppose
live In this street beside yourselfy
Besides myself" replied the other
do you mean to insult mcy' well
thcn," said the first, 'how many do 20,
reckon including yoursclfT'
Ex-scrvant-Aly husbands been beat
in me again, Miss Mary. ana I'd TWEEN
ty minds to have him arrested. Mis-
Mary-Why didn't you! Ex.scrvant-
Well, was thlnkln' too, with me 81
lame, and him not wOrkin, how'd
ever get money to pay the fne!-Lifc.
A little girl who had been told not Il
ask for anything to eat ut neighbor'
came home with face very suggestive
Of lunchlng. When asked by her moth
or why she had asked for something
she said: "But, mamma, didn't as
Mrs. G. Just looked ut her and said
|; Cant you see how hungry l am""-
= Truth.
q Farmer Whifiietree-YOu shy 70
. | want u JOD uuu WOuW WOrh iOC u ecu
, a minute? Why, that Is sixty cents q
hour, six dollars a day, thirty.six do
: lars a week. hundred and Wear
= Willie faintly)-HOld on dere. boss
y Call 1t half Il cent a minute, don.
:, only want ter do five cents WORTH
n Judge.
n ~ suppose" said the farm hand, VIII
h was looking for a job, that you bt
@ llcve In the cight-hOur system
II That's what do" replied the farme
>. Il work eight hours In the forenoo
h and eight in the afternoon. but alon
v about haydn ana harvest time l Occ'
O sionally put in two or three hours @,
l. ira"
t. IL saw sgn-painter barely say
k himself" said the student boarder, "b
J. catching as he fell the sign he had fiji
ished. He was suspended twenty fe'
from the sidewalk" ''Hc is not IL
first man." said Asbury Peppers, "wl
o hung breathless on his own WORD
70 when no one else dld."-Cinclnnati III
- quirer.
! Sammie had Just returned from SUI
- day school. ana his mother asked hi
y IL he had been good boy. mo; N
8 very" was the truthful reply. '"rhe
I.fl, ,tA,, Il