New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1898-09-24
THE TALK OF THE DAY.
The following curious advertisement appeared the
other day in THE London Standard

The following curious advertisement appeared the
other day in The London Standard:
4 GENTLEMAN whose wife and Daughter have run
A away from homo a holiday leaving him in charge
d baby who. although fairy we'll appsars 90 he cut
at once
When Lord Morris was Chief Justice Of Ireland
a young Junior barrister arose in his court one day
TO make his first motion, and spoke In the hard
brogue Of the North Of Ireland. "sapel." said the
Judge In low voice 10 the registrar or the court
who is this newcomer His name Is Clements
my lord" What part Of the coonthry does he
hnil from, In the name Of all that's wundherful?
asked the Judge. County Antrim. my lord" was
the reply. well. we'll" said the Judge. did you
iver come SIGH froightful accint in the
whole coorse OF yer born lofeT'
villager-Tm quite well, thank yer. miss but
amt seed you before. Y're fresh at II. amt yer
District Vlsitor-Certniny haven't visited you
Villager tafter busting char)-We. yer sits down
ere. and Yer rends me a short Psalm yer gives
mo n shillin'. an then yer goes.-d.ondon Fun
Not many evenings since" says THE Florida
Times Union" three convnlescents arrived at the
Terminal Station. with thirty-day Burroughs
snugly tucked away in their jeans. They discov-
cred on arriving ut the station TINT they had an
hour TO wait before the departure Of their train,
and this IL the way they filed the time: A bottle
OF whiskey that had been provided against the
emergencies Of travel consumed by the trio.
Next n lot Of pears wero found and devoured.
Wandering across the street. they purchased
pound OF soda wnfers and soon the contents OF the
package were slowed away. Finally small negro
came I'm sight having for sale lot OF boiled crabs.
II tho work OF but moment for the sick
heroes 10 become the owners Of these decacies.
and they out OF sight The train by this
time had been made up. and the soldiers entered
and found their places. and during the wait be-
fore the train pulled cut OF the station Of the
trio exclaimed: 4 declare. don't feel very well.
] am glad I'm going 10 get out OF this 'cussed"
climate II don't ngree with mo little BIT
Magazine Editor-Your article on the conduct OF
the is interesting. but the subject is untimely.
We Ere at me cnd 81 Ter no! az hn nGs1s Va
another war with somebody In the course OF TWEEN
o1r or bp h ana ia prnsd VIZ ace Se
cepted.-tR Boston Transcript
Tho musachc first became common IN the Brit
sh Army nt the beginning of the present century.
The iIussars adopted II. and not long afterward
the Lnncors. II was not until the beginning OF
the Russian War that the infantry adopted the
mustache Whiskers disappeared after 1870 and
at present tho mustache has come under the
Queens regulations for nil branches of the service.
30 much SO. indeed. that only year ago the
thorities NJ tho Horse Guards learned with in
dgnation that young officers in certain regiments
dd not sufficiently cultivate the growth OF mus
taches by emitting TO shave the upper lip in con-
have now Instructions 10 suppress such Irregular
l;ics by any means that they may think neces-
sary."
and@rng Nike but IT'S Impossible for me ' to clean
dom rugs on de terms YOU offer"
You said YOU were willing 10 work.
"Yes'm. But me an Pete here has organized
fG r ds ass s. an hS b r T b T o w.
ship '-(Warhngton star.
I'm hcr childhood ~ Coro,, -acaivos
nickname. by which she is known In the family
ard by her near friends but which. when she ar
rives NJ maturity. Is employed only by her parents.
To all other persons she is the sister the
daughter OF such and such a After her
rage her name Ia bured-sh Is absolutely name.
less; her parents refer TO her by mentioning
the district into which she has married Should
her marriage he blessed with children she Is tho
mother" 81 so-and-so. II II happens that q woman
has 10 appear In n law court. the Judge gives her
a spccinl name for while the lasts. in or
der to save time and TO simplify matters.
Hicks-ft is hardly possible that a marriage
should come out OF 1t between two such persons
she has got enough birthstone In her TO make a
mat -(Boston Transcript
What Is said to he the most remarkable display
OF Egyptian lotus In tho country is now to be
found in Bushnell Park. Hartford
THE MAIDEN's PURSE.
She screamed I'm terror when her purse
Was snatched from out her jeweled hand,
And hurled modest semi-curse
Toward the fleeing. bold hrlgand:
And when tho copper caught the thief
She seized the purse with anxious air,
And breathed SIGH OF sweet relief
To find her treasures all were there
pencilled note
Her fellow wrote,
sugar plum,
halrpin (benO.
A copper cent
A buitonhook
With a broken crook
safety pin.