The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1898-08-21

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| ments by our esteemed contempt
rary" is the manner in which it re-
fers to the challenger, viz: "Sir
Thomas, it seems, is promi-
| nent figure in London" Then it
goes on to say: "He is a Scotch-Irish-
| man, and began his career with empty
pockets! There does mot seem to be
anything remarkable about this; there
are, in fact, many individuals, Scotch
Irishmen and otherwise. who began
| their career without any pockets what
ever, to say nothing Of their emptiness.
We might call UP a dozen or so, on
| the telephone, right here in st. Paul
who had no better beginning than
this There are good many stories,
in romance and history of men and
women of varied descent who were
| declared to have been born with silver
spoons in their mouths. King Richard
III of England. it is recorded, picked
UP somewhere along the way before
he was born a tooth which cut quite
| a figure in history. Presumably 1t
was an eye tooth, and not a
wisdom tooth, as his majesty man.
I aged to get into a good many
slarls which the exercise of a proper
degree of wisdom, coming additionally
from such "a tooth, might have been ex-
pected to prevent. Another Eng
lish character Of considerable
note was David Copperf1eld. Ac-
cording to his own statement
he was born with a caul, and it was
disposed Of by his parents for quite a
iho ho6 f1oo
satisfaction, in mature years. of in
speeding it. But all this was anterior
to the advent of the kodak.
According to the Pioneer Press, Sir
Thomas sis manufacturer Of various
kinds of prepared foods. and has fought
monopolies, etc." Now, the idea of a
| manufacturer of prepared foods of any
kind being obliged to fight monopo-
lies, when, as every newspaper publ
cation office which sends out solicitors
for advertisements knows, all deal
ers of this kind are monopolists
themselves. Sir Thomas is likened unto
the Bun Emperor" in 1.-THE London
ers." This is very obscure. Perhaps
it is Typographical error, and a
Bum Emperor Is intended. There
are known to be such in existence. This
little obscurity reminds one Of Mark
Tv'ain's earlier experiences When
through a fortune teller, or a clairvoy-
ant, or gypsy queen, or something
of that sort, he was asked, What is
your bette noir?" And, in recording
the answer, in writing, he, being in
doubt, wrote in Yankee fashion. What
Is my which," May we ask in this
correction who the bun or bum
emperor is? Possibly Mr. KohIsaat, of
Chicago, might give us some points on
the BUN" Emperor-not the Bum"
The Pioneer Press remarks also that
In the British isles one can no more
escape Upton than damp weather"
This is foggy. also, and suggests a
renewal Of the query, what is my
which," Then the announcement is
made that "he is emphatically an Eng
fish product" We already have the
statement that he is Scotch-Irishman
and we certainly never hitherto heard
OF an English product beginning his
career with empty pockets.
Everybody who keeps abreast with
the times. and especially those we'll in
formed on the subject of pink teas,
knows Sir Thomas Is a merchant in
this particular line Of product; fur
thermore, Sir Thomas, taken altogeth-
err" is said to be a pretty good sort Of
fellow. This also reminds us of that
other genial English product" Mr..
e. A. Sothern. the actor, famous in his
PRESERVATION Of the part of Lord Dun
dresry as we'll as that Of ''I,he Crush
ed Tragedian." The associate incident
will be recalled by those who had the
joy Of witnessing him in the perform
ance Of the last named character and
heard that peculiar hollow voice when
in reply to the lady who said, Taking
you altogether, you seem to be a pretty
good fellow, after ALL" he exclaimed:
"Why. madam, you wouldn't have me
taken In sections, would your
The fact Is, Sir Thomas has to be
taken altogether. rather than in sec
lions, to be thoroughly appreciated. and
not as in the case of certain prescrip-
lions that are ordered by physicians
VINO have not-the courage to kill man
Off by administering one dose at
time, but carry out the performance
in small allotments. This is unoues-
tionably big advertising scheme on
the part Of Sir Thomas, for his pe-
culiar quality Of teas. That he VIII
win the cup no sensible or patriotic
American citizen anticipates for a mo-,
| mert. Sir Thomas. it seems" is an
| optinist Of whom the brave sportsmen
of this country can have little fear. He
would better have spent his advertis-
ing fund in sign boards for distribu-
ton amid the attractive rural land
scapes suburban to the Twin Cities. to
say nothing of availing himself of the
advantages afforded by the columns of
Inc and those of our esteemed
contemporaries. We hope to hear from
MIN later In the language Of the Pho
| nefr Press. IF Sir Thomas Upton is
the man, by all means let him Gomez
That Saratoga Conference.
The national conference in eoes;o,