The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1898-07-23

Children should early be taught to use
their napkins properly, to lay them on
the table without folding them when they
are dining out, and to use them only as a
means of protection to the clothing, ane
to wipe the mouth and fingers. To handle
forks nicely, to use the knife when neces-
sary, to AXE small mouthfuls of every
thing, especially bread, which should be
broken into small pieces and not bitten.
to eat soup with little or no noise, and to
| leave the plate tidy with knife and fork
| lying parallel to each other are a few of
the nice things that really ought to be
| taught. And then when the boy or girl
| grows up and meets persons of refinement
there should be no regrets that the dear
| mother at home had not been as careful
| about the bringing up as she might have
been.
Who is content to take the rough with
the smooth in daily and domestic life?
Not one in a hundred! Who turns the
thoughts to the substantial goodness. the
real virtues of the companion whose tenn
ner is short and SO gives rough little
hours in the long years smoothness? Very
few. for patience is not a favorite quality
in these days, and our dear women, who
were one famous for this sweet. gentle
virtue. now disdain and disclaim is as it
were a badge of slavery and a mark of in
feriority. 1t is odd how. with a great deal
of both processing and genuine Christian
ity. certain Christian virtues lave become
discarded-especially by women. They will
make personal sacrifices to sustain the
zenana missions. say. but they will be
,,o.+l1, .o+;o,+ - ofr]son+ po5+1ar onp-l
tented nor submissive. Speak to them of
the duties of wives. and they will deny
! the authority of st. Paul, and say we
have changed all that now. They will at
I,tend to all the ordinances and services of
the church, but they will not be content
ed with their lot. nor Submissive to fate,
nor take the rough with the smooth, but
demand to have it all satin softness, and
maintain their right to open-voiced an
noyance when rugosities arise. and their
feet trip over nance stones. Yet we must
take the rough with the smooth in mar
ried and domestic life g~enerally-the i'll
health and the short temperate in luck
in money speculation. and the disagree
able place wherein to live. owing to those
tyrannous circumstances which are not to
! be controlled. 1t is not all bad-not all
r~oughness. There are the smooth bits and
the sunshiny days, and the two must be
balanced and weighed. the one against the
other. if we would aspire to the possess
sion of wisdom or the attainment of hap
piness. For. indeed, of this we may be as
sured. our happiness is in ourselves much
more than in circumstances. IT is we who
weave the garment of our lives either from
the sunbeams or from the cobwebs, IT is
we who battle cur souls in the clear foun-
tain Of peace by our own ~resolute will to
be content with our portion and to be
patient under our crosses. or who dye
ourselves black with the bitter waters of
Marah-in@ the dark pool of despair.
at has been said that the first year of
married life holds the responsibility for
the happiness or the misery Of the com
ing years, because it is the trial time of
two whose tastes, habits, ideas and pc
crliarities are %broughteto the test of har-
monv.s writes Mary r. Baldwin.
"But no woman ought to surrender her
individuality even to make peace In a
family. And she will not be obliged to do
so if she has love and tact and patience.
Many a husband has been led like a little
Cll1Q. anu mas never hIOWiR tudl ut was
bowling his will in the least. simply be-
cause his wife knew how to influence
him. And just here let it be said that
influencing in contradistinctien from gov
erning is the word for that something
which makes 1t possible for a wife to be-
come a comfort. power and blessing to
the husband. The weman who cannot in
fuence her husband must be lacking in
.-1 - ~,,o1i+io- for n GOD 1~yffa ~ ai7c5
she must deal with a hopeless case.
above all things In a woman's pur-
pose should stand the desire to hold love
from loss and from spelling Influences.
We sometimes hear of two who have
passed years of married life without ex-
changing angry or even unpleasant word.
This may be possible for those whose
natures are such that reason and emo
ton are very elastic; but it could not be
said of the majority of welded people.
An angry woman is not the thing to be
most dreaded. but that gradual growth
of Indifference that leads to atrophy of
conjugal love.
There are ways of keeping a true hus-
band in a loverlike spirit always, but
the wife must preserve those feelings
and their expression that marked those
cuditI,ItlS IUuiS WITCH u WdS ~ SWcce7
heart. Loving thought for the comfort
and happiness of the lover found express
sion naturally in words and in acts. 1t
must be the same to the wife that would
hold the husbands affection. Then those
little words that are prompted by love
and received in its spirit have a world
Of significance; these should not be left
behind after the home life together is be-
gun"
No housekeeper who has once used one
will ever tolerate coal or wood fires in her
kitchen in hot weather. though she sac
rifce a dozen other important wants"
in order to secure immunity from their
%torturing heat, says the "Woman's Home
Companion" Gas stoves are always a
possibility in cities. but in small towns
and in the country those for g~asolene or
oil only are available. Both kinds have
been brought to such a state of perfection
that there is little or nothing left to be
desired in their use. Oil stoves require
frequent cleaning and trimming to keep
odorless, so preference lies with gasolene.
Every farmhouse in the land should pos
sess one, and the blessing that each would
bring during the eternal summers cooking
to some burdened woman simply could not
be measured. They do not explode as
popularity supposed. and as Investigation
80 49, - -