Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1898-11-28
FUNNYGRAPHS.

WHAT are you worrying ABOUT
nOw?" Il belong to the Don't Worry
club and can't pay my dues. Truth.
The Spraggles have been boasting
long time about their horseless car
riage. 1t turns out to be only baby S
perambulator.-Boston Transcript.
"Glorinda Flighty says she can play
whist better when she talks all the
time" ''Of course; she makes the
rest of us play worse. detroit Free
Press.
Uncle Beasley, are you going to
heaven?" asked the little boy. Il
s'pose I'll have to, some day or
other answered the old man.-Cin-
cinnati Enquirer.
Teacher-"In this stanza, what is
meant by the line The shades of night
were falling fast'?' Bright Scholar
'.The people were pulling down the
blinds. Elk.
A Family Secret QUIT Teacher
You don't know what hunt spells?
What does your father do when his
collar button is lost?' Johnny (slyly1
A10 says luAASS. = NC JGW0leIS
Weekly.
Dogs and Women-"O, yes, she
leads him dogs life,' said the pretty
young woman. "Fondles his nose and
pinches his ears I suppose" replied
the man at her side.-Cleveland
Leader.
Asserting HIMSELF may be a
hard drinker,' said Tapley with dig
nifty, land perhaps I show facial traces
of it. but I'll have you to know, sir,
that [ am no Cyrano de Bergerac. =
Philadelphia North American.
The Boston Girl.-''Were you out in
all the rain?" asked the Clifton girl
NO." said the young woman from
Boston. II was merely in the portion
of the rain tat descended in my i'm
mediate vicinity. "-Cincinnati En-
quirer.
There's always something happen
ing to worry me!' exclaimed the
Chinese Emperor to the friend with
whom he was travelling incog.
whats the matter now?" 'The ru-
NOR that I am alive has been started
again. ''-Washington Star.
Wit for the Occasion.-Nora-" All,
Pat, OF can't foind worruds to tell yez
how much Oi am indebted to yez for
this lovely watch" Pat-"Sure, Nora,
an it's mese1f that is in debt for it
dape enough for both av us!"-The
jewelers. Weekly.
"Well, are you going to get it?" was
asked of the rural statesman just back
from Washington, where he had been
with a view to securing an appointive
position Don't think I am. That
there congressman of our'n was too
burned per1ite to me. Detroit Free
Press.
Gretson-"So you brought suit for
damages for injuries received in the
smashup. Did you ever get any
thing?" Dorster-T never received
anything for myself, but I got enough
out of the company to support a law
yer in aff1uent circumstances for sew
eral years. Boston Transcript.
His Sarcasm Farmer Grout lsour-
ly)-"Them city relatives of our'n
pear to believe my name is Misery
Mrs. Grout-"Pshaw! What makes
you git off seen a foolish sayin' as
that, LYMAN" Farmer Grout-"Tt
amt foo1ish-it's sarcastic! I jedge
they do by the way they seem to think
I love company. "-Harper's Bazaar
A soldier who entered Santiago with
General Shafter tells this story in the
New Orleans Times-Democrat: GA
few days after the place was sur
rendered I went into a small shop to
get some tobacco. The PROPRIETOR was
a fat little chan al bows and smiles.
Got any 'baccy?' I asked. 'Si, Senior,
he said. Yes, sare: ver' fine tobac.
Hot time in re OF town tonight,
Senior took "a paner of fine cut and
the fat rascal CHARGED me 81. When
I made a modest kick at srnh highway
robbery he bumped I'D his shoulders
and spread ont his hands. We'll,
senor,' he said, you mus remember
those Names