The Van Buren press., 1898-10-08

T AM convinced in my own mind that
il is quite the right thing for
woman to be really very angry some
times. l don't mean raging, violent
sort of anger that makes one untldy
and flushed, but a superior. discreet
anger through which one can smile
and talk aad cause no damage TO the
arrangement of ones back hair.
| myself have been very angry for
about two hours now, and the relief
and satisfaction which | feel are in
describa BILE. Two hours ago the draw
ing-room door opened to admit my
cousin George, and, although l had
been in a most placid and genial frame
of mind one moment before, all the
wrath which had been battened down
for the past 12 months blazed up in
side me before Jane had finished an
nouncing him-and smiled upon him.
1t was generally understood among
my friends and acquaintances and re-
lations that | suffered secret and un-
ceasing pang of hopeless love after
my Cousin George changed his mind
and delicately refused the honor of
my hand, and perhaps the only ray of
comfort which slanted my way came
from the inner knowledge, which |
might hug to myself, that it wasn't
true, that l had not spark of hope
less love in me-that the only strong
feeling | had in the matter, and nat
urally enough, too, was the one which
found expression in the words tut
tered quite privately to myself): "All
right, Cousin George, you just wait a
bitv And | think l didn't look quite
as pretty as usual as [ murmured
them.
OF course, if / had been offered to
Cousin George, and he had not wished
TO possess me, that would have been
another matter, and | should have
been the last to blame him; but the
way in which he philandered round
and pestered me when he came home
from Heidelberg, nearly four years
ago, became more than a joke, ii be-
came absolutely absorbing. | hadn't
even time to mend my frocks for
didn't like to bring whole shabby
skirt into the drawing-room, to bind
the bottom of it while he sat and
looked at me; so | used to do silly
small things, such as darning three
cornered rents in my pocket handker-
chiefs, where | had hitched them on
TO the bushes, and such like-things
/ should never have dreamed of do
ing at all if he had not been there.
He proposed to me five times, which
] thought pity each time he did it,
and his proposals used to make me
very hot and exhausted. They were
all made in June, and generally in the
sun cousin George never had much
idea of the fitness of things), and so
soon came to the end of all / had to
say that / was at a disadvantage, and
quite as uncomfortable, sitting there
and saying nothing; whereas Cousin
George seemed 10 be able to prattle
on forever.
/ don't know why ! did n, but the
fifth time Cousin George grew white
about the lips and finished up. as
usual, by saying "Will you marry me.
FLOP" l said: "Oh, well. | don't mind
If | do" And really. didn't mind.
for | had known Cousin George for
years and years, and was very fond
of him, and | felt that, at any rate,
it would put an end 10 his proposals;
and Aunt Theresa said that July was
going to be very hot,
Well, anyhow, whether it was right
or wrong, or stupid or sensible. said
straight out: 81 don't mind II / do;' -
and then, of course. we were engaged.
j really did not mind it at all. for /
knew Cousin George so well, and he
knew me; and there was no bother
about utrearranging ones ideas and hab-
its, as some girls have to Just to please
the man they're going to marry. !
used TO look at him sometimes (when
he didn't happen to be looking at me }
and say to myself: We'll, TO think
that that's the man I'm going 10
marry!"-for it really did seem odd;
but | wasn't at all upset about it, and
after awhile l decided that ii was
really a most comfortable arrange
ment, and that it was probably all
nonsense that height OF bliss" and
overwhelming happiness" sort Of
stuff that some persons talk and write
about.
was very matter of fact at first.
but when poor George ehafed at that
1 did my best to play up to my part.
i never could imagine why persons
couldn't go on just as usual, instead Of
sinking off for tete-a-tetes, Just like
silly children telling secrets; but
George seemed to like it, and by de-
grees | got on capitally. really tried
hard to do as other engaged girls did
/ don't mean TO say that | had to try
hard because il was irksome to me
i really did not object TO it, only ]
was apt TO forget sometimes. How
ever, in less than a month broke my
self Of tugging away from him and
looking bothered or resentful when he
kissed me; and when we had had a
tiff / was always ready TO be friends
again. In those days, when we had
had a tiff and had grown tired OF
srarring. George always used to say:
LET US go down the river 10 the is