Mesa free press., 1898-09-02
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wrong. She-Ah! but you must admit
that l was right!
Il have been told that the best So
ciety Is very stupid" "Oh, l can't be-
lleve 1t Is 80 good as that."-Detroit
Journal.
Hostess-l hope you found the bed
comfortable, Mr.. Jenkins. jenkins
excellent, ma'am. nearly fell asleep
In it.-Tid-Bits.
Was he secretary or treasurer of the
company" "Well, they supposed he
was only secretary until after he had
gone."-Chicago Journal.
The attorney-You say you could not
believe this person on oath? The wit
ness-No, sir; Oh never heard the lady
swear in me loife, sir.
First Burglar-Any luck lately? Sec
ond Burglar-No. Worked all night
On safe, and when got it blowed
open 1t was folding bed.
The Judge-What made you so GER
tain that you had the right of way? The
heaviest, yer honor.-Life.
Mrs. Straight-My daughter has been
very carefully brought up. Col. Blunt
But, Notwithstanding, madam, find
her very interesting companion.
Hendry-So you take stock in that
yarn? Why, wouldn't believe that
story If 1 told it myself. Cowgage-
Well, in that case, neither would 1.
Deacon Welfixt-I kin read your
thoughts, Miss Nancy. Miss Nancy
(coyly)-Then what makes you set so
far away. deacon?-New York World.
There are two ways of making a
Maltese cross, you know" said he to a
Red Cross girl. II know only one," she
returned. "Well, the other is to step on
his tail."-Judge.
when my wife gets cold can cure
1t in day." What do you give herY
Nothing; I simply say that If she is
well by night will take her to the the
ater."-Tit-Bit
Doctor, who was that man that
screeched and howled SO loud when
you were pulling his tooth?' ''That
was a Christian Science friend Of
mine. e."-Chicago Tribune.
"Ain't I little bow-leggedY' asked
the dubious young man. "Bow-legged,"
said his tailor. 1.-The idea! Your lower
limbs, sir, are absolutely without a par
aIlel. l."-Indtanapolis Journal.
He-Isn't 1t disagreeable feature Of
golf, losing the ball so often? She
Oh, no; that's the only way George and
l could get out Of hearing of the cad
die for an instant.-Yonkers Statesman.
There's no coal, num-" said Bridget,
"and the fires are going out" mo coal!
Why didn't you tell me before?"
couldn't tell you there was no coal,
mum. when there was COAL" answered
Bridget.
"How Is your club for the inter-
change and development Of ideas get
tirg along" "Well, so far, it has de-
veloped the idea in each member that
he Is the only man who has any IDEAS"
Indianapolis Journal.
"Dear me, that was terrible! Man
fell overheard in midocean the other
day, and never was seen again" said
Hicks. "DrownedY' asked Mrs Hicks.
"Oh, no, of course not. Sprained his
ankle, probably" said Hicks.-Harlem
Life.
Every man has his vice." said Ten
spot to Tenterhook, who was fond Of
Offering unsought counsel to his sac-
quaintances. what Is my vice, prayw
asked Tenterhook. "Advice," replied
Tenspot, unhesitatingly.-De Free
Press.
81 suppose that there are many prob
lens which polar explorers seek to
solve" said the unscientific man. "Yes,'
replied the intrepid traveller, "a great
many" what is the most important
one" "Getting back" ."-Washington
Star.
The fancee Of a New Yorker at the
close of his nomination to an office, one
evening during the election campaign
season, hearing of the event, sent him
a Smyrna date in it's native sugar, and
with it her card on which she had writ
ten: II love the candy date"
Delia-Professor Monograph Is visit
ing you, understand. Doesn't he find
the sights and sounds of the city odd?
Amelia-Not at all. Some berry ped
dlers passed the house to-day crying
their wares, and the dear old man ask
ed me what college they belonged to-
Puck.
"My wife," said the tall, lantern jaw
ed man, lis as womanly woman as
you could find, but she can hammer
nails like lightning" "Wonderfulw
sang the chorus. Lightning" the tall,
lantern-jawed man continued, seldom
strikes twice in the same place. Gin
cinnau Enquirer.
''What did you do with that letter
that was on my tableT" asked Gus De
Smith Of the colored boy who cleans
up his room. II tuck it to the post
oA3oa cob onH x hola -