The copper country evening news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 18??-1907, 1898-05-11
A MAHOGANY CORNER
NOW THE FUNERAL DIRECTOR BOTH
WON AND LOST.

"0N ~t<O SOots
A Preacher Who Wanted to Give His De
ceased Relative the Finest Funeral Evel
Seen In Cincinnati--Otacr "Reminiscences
Of Undertakes.
Scrapbooks Of queer experiences a.,
some Of the Cincinnati undertakers. and
the other day en- Enquirer man set the
leaves Of these odd volumes s-turning.
Skipping tho grewsome, q few Of the more
exceptional incidents are as follows:
doubtless the only time in all the his.
tory Of America that an undertaken COR
pered the cofin lumber Of city In order
20 get q certain funeral order occurred In
Cincinnati" said one OF the oldest men In
the business. "It happened away back In
1883" continued the gray haired and age
bent funeral director, land was this: A
relative Of Presbyterian minister named
Isaac Wilson bad died, and the preacher
was possessed Of the enormous vanity to
have the funeral exceed anything Of the
kind ever known in Cincinnati mp to that
time. He assumed the expense and went
ahead to carry out his lofty ambition. He
determined the coffin should be of ma
hogany, q wood that was mighty scarce In
Cincinnati In those days The first under
taking firm he happened to tackle was
that Of Enoch G. Megrue g. Jim Lyon.
Megrue was an old fire department chief,
and his partner, Jim Lyon, was one of
about the hottest undertakers that Cincin-
natl ever knew either before, during or
since 1853. Jim gave the extravagant
preacher the stiffest sort of a price as to a
mahogany coffin. Indeed the price he
named was so terrible that IL simply and
almost literally knocked Mr.. Preacher
clear out Of Jim's Office, and the dominic
declared he could beat the price by many a
dollar.
"Now James knew all about the preach
or being a man who when he set his head
on having a thing he would have il. AS
the preacher went out the front door Jim
few out the back one, and, rushing around
to every shop and lumber dealer in town
that kept mahogany, he bought up every
foot they had, total of about $50 feet.
When Mr.. Preacher came to visit the other
establishments, he found that none of
them could fill his order. So back he went
to Jim's and began pleading for cut rate
on mahogany enough to build the coffin.
No, sir; not cent of a cut. On the con-
trary, Jim told him that he had discovered
mahogany was more precious in Cincin-
natl than he'd ever dreamed of, and there
upon Jim showed up the price on the coffin
several potches higher than the figure he
had previously named.
AFTER making terrible kick the
preacher, with more sand than sense, gave
Jim the order for the mahogany coffin.
Then the preacher set out to quietly get
even with the crafty James.
"Instead of ordering the carriages of
Jim, the preacher went out and hired else
where. But that wasn't all he did. That
vain preacher went around to every livery
stable in Cincinnati and hired every rig
they had for the funeral. Then he sent
out among the country members Of his
church and got every buggy and wagon
obtainable. Next he gave orders to have
this caravan Of vehicles driven through the
slums of the town, with the drivers in
structed to invite every loafer, loiterer and
hobo they saw to get in and have a ride.
The drivers did exactly as they were told
and the result was the worsedly cosmopol-
itan funeral that ever took place in Amer
lea. There were over 100 vehicles in line
and every one of them was crowded. The
preacher was bound to have the largest flu
neral procession ever in Ohio, and he had
C."
Another old timer told this:
at may amaze the public immensely,
but almost any undertaken will tell you !
hat it is a common thing for people to Or |
der coffin and all funeral arrangements |
Tor sick relative-and the relatives re-
cover rs often as they die. j once had |
nan tell me the date and even the hour |
10 wanted me TO bury him. And buried |
him exactly at the time be said. No, it |
wasn't q case of premeditated self murder |
mot at all. And that is just why the |
,aso was remarkable. The man had dropsy |
# the heart. He understood his case per- |
ectly. He had me come TO see him on Tues
lay and told me he would be dead in time |
70 that his funeral could, without unseem- |
y haste, occur the following Friday at |
,'clock. he said be didn't want his wife,
Who was all worn out taking care of him, |
o have TO be bothered arranging for the
uneral, so he went ahead and ordered ev-
rytbiDg himself.
although IL was 90 years ago, re-
member how matter Of fact he was about |
{ all. While talking TO me he was sitting |
)olt upright in a straight backed chair.
lie said: IF should bend over the least |
Ut to one side now, / would die instantly. |
Ny heart would be drowned. He died on
Thursday morning, and the funeral oc-
'urred the next afternoon at . o'clock, |
ust as he had ordered
Continuing, the relator OF this added:
Lots Of people think they have met the |
neanest man in the world, but once met
very worthy candidate for the honor Of |
hat title. He was quite wealthy fellow,
md his only child died. Twas the under
aker. The body was put In vault. Next
lay after the funeral that man came
Iround with the handles he had gone out
o the cemetery and taken of his child's |
'ofiin and wanted to sell them back to
ne. "-Cincinnati Enquirer.