The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1898-03-12
THE GEORGIA HUM0RIST
HseI.es AN EMPHATIC PROTEST AGAINST
.BRER. 'PossuM.

''Possum" seems to be the sioeAn =.
state politics. It is among the nrs'
Latin words ever learned to decline,
and means ssI am able. "As fiithy var
NIT decline it still, and If had been
invited to the feast I should have re-
nl;ed non 'possum. can eat crow,but
ri ,noasum. A buzzard would be as |
nalatable. for one is day scavenger
md the other hunts for carrion by
night. Not long ago Mr.. Hale told
me at Rising Fawn that his boy caught
three on three consecutive nights by
setting his steel trap on dead hog in
the woods, and Mr.. Young told me
Yesterday that the last one his dog
freed was in the carcass OF dead
horse. Now, if 'possum is kept up
in coop or pen for month and fed
on decent food, his oily carcass might
be fitten for scalawag or hungry
darkey. Colonel Gambler in his letter
sings the praises and the oily juices
of the north Georgia 'possum, but
turns up his nose at the piny woods
breed. The difference is that dead
dogs and hogs and mules are few and
far between in the piney woods, and
the 'possums can't get enough carrion
to get fat. But 'possum is just now
the political fad, and politician will
eat anything for Office except crow.
They don't like that. DIR. Miller used
to say that he could eat crow, but he
didn't banker after it. We college
bows used to have 'possum suppers
away in the night, but Hansel, who
furnished them, kept them up and
stall fed them. The chief satisfaction,
however, was in breaking the rules
! and lodging the professors and tutors.
! Jim Warren and Chess Howard used
; to give midnight suppers and pull up
the 'possum and taters in basket by
! a rope and take it in at third-story
window.
s Well, the nation has got slogan
too. Cuba and Hawaii are still on
deck as shuttlecocks, and the game is
q long and uncertain. Cuba is fruit
t that is about ripe, and ought to be
9 pulled before it rots on the tree; but
Hawaii is as green as gourd. Cuba
is 400 miles long, and is near by and
should be purchased just like we
bought Florida from Spain; but Hawaii
is 1000 miles from our Pacific coast,
B and all the islands put together have
: | not as much area as single county II
. Texas. They say we want it for
5 coaling station. We have it now fol-
. that, and can keep it during peace
J. but 1t would take all of our little nav,
. to hold it during war. It looks yer.
e like the whole plot of annexation is {
e personal job for few men. They ar
trying to alarm us with the threat tina
If we do not annex it England will.
don't reckon England wants it yer.
- bad. In case of great war, it woul'
take good part of her navy to hol'
- it, and the game is not worth the can
= die. Our poor little navy won't iustif,,
le us in annexing anything, and W
x can't hurry up any more battleship
under the Dingley tariff and the pen
ID sion frauds.
O. England has Is battleships, 81 cru
sers, 6 gunboats, So torpedo boats an
lie 8 war steamers-in all 116 keels. TIL
United States has battleships, 1
IS. cruisers, Is gunboats, 6 monitors an
~ a. s torpedo boats-in all 80 keels. Ho'
=. is that for war? Japan has more wa
keels afloat than the United States
: and is now the acknowledged mistres
of the Pacific ocean. But we can bea
them all in brag and bluster and jim
goism. We are very like the averag
o young man who lives on his father
reputation. We go back century G
%ho int q N
d. the Wasp in the days of Paul Jone
and Decatur. Those were gloriou
OF victories, but we were fighting on la
" defensive then, and our great leaders
le both on land and sea, were souther
be men-Paul Jones was from Virgini
and Decatur was from Maryland, an
old John Adams didn't like either c
them.
!. ~ But almost everything that concern
w. congress now is political iobbery-
20 and the pension frauds will go or
r. They grow bigger and bigger as th
is years roll on. The fifty thousand per
q. sion lawyers up north must be keE
fat, and they are organized and kno'
how to control congressman. Ten do
lars from each one will place half
~ million in Washington and that wi
ce purchase fifty votes at 5000 vote
They defy Commissioner Evans an
90 all his efforts to purge the rolls will b
oo in vain. Wickedness in hioh place
0e a-.., I'D the wonder -
9 so the nation survives its corruption.
10 heard some preachers discussing it o
DC the railroad and one said the wicked
90 ness was so great it was wonder tbs
s ~ the Lord dident destroy the capt.,
nd AID all the great cities. But an oil
Ice Irish preacher said: 'No, sir; no, sil
the Lord wouldent have destroye
~ Sodom if there had been ten good me
70 there, and 1 am sure there are {
irs least fifty in Atlanta and nearly {
=, many in Washington and New York.
~ No. sir, the cities are safe for SON
10 time to come, but it is we'll enough
- keep your eye on a place in the countr,
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