The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1898-01-14
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Ions had been sailed, he said: II think,
father, that II you would say grace over
the whole cask. 1t would be great saw
ing at meal time
A writer In What to Eat was once at |
n summer hotel when Larry Jerome ar
rived and ordered dinner In half an |
hour. How many OF you are thereT
asked the head waiter. How many OF
me-" said Jerome, edo look like
combination troupeT
Haydn, who was famous glutton,
once landed In Dover with an empty
stomach and ordered dinner for four at
tavern. When 1t was ready to be sery-
ed, the waiter inquired about the COM
pany. Company said the compos-
err; II am the company"
During the revolution, a little Amer
lean privateer once stole up ON an Eng
lIsh line OF battle ship In a fog, mis-
taking her for an East India merchant,
and ordered her to strike. When the
seventy-four ran out her guns and
threatened to blow her puny assailant
out of the water, the Yankee skipper
stepped to the gangway, and, taking
off his hat. said politely: "Oh. very
well. sir, II you won't surrender, WILL
The learned oxford professor, Max
Muller, once asked Vivekananda II Ram
krishna. n great Hindoo religious teach
er, knew Sanskrit. The answer at first
was evasive. but finally Vlvekananda
said: "When Ramkrishna was In the
jungle as an ascetlc. beautiful woman
came down from heaven and taught
him the language" "Nonsensew was
Mullers reply; the only way to learn
Sanskrit is to get grammar and die
tionary and go to work"
The King of Siam is not as yet
Shakspearean scholar. On the recent
occasion OF his visit to Denmark, he ac-
compa lied the Crown Prince Frederick
to Hell ingfors and was duly conducted
to the grave of Hamlet. Prince OF Den
mark. Here he took Off his hat and
stood for a moment In reverential ST.
lenc.,. Then, turning to the crown
price, he said, with deep sympathy:
"A relation of your royal highness, 1
presume. Has he been long deadT"
A Tennesseean tells this story Of a
darby freight hand on Southern rail-
way. 1t seems that Ben, the darby,
had been placed in charge Of mule,
whose destination was marked on a tag
attached by Irvine to the mules leg.
Before the animal had been persuaded
to enter u car, he, In some way. man
aged to reach the tag and, before Ben
could interpose. the mule had the tag
well chewed up. The old man looked
up the local freight agent and asked
In perturbation: wat l goin' do wild
dat mewl? He done ct up de place
were he's goin'."
DIR. Johnson called one morning on
Benjamin West to converse with him OIL
American affairs. After some time Mr.
West said that he had young Ameri
can Colbert Stuart living with him
from whom he might derive some in
formation, and introduced Stuart. The
conversation continued Stuart being
thus invited to take part In IT., when ths
doctor observed to Mr.. West that the
: young man spoke very good English
and turning to Stuart, rudely asked
him where he had learned II. Stuar
very promptly replied. "Sir, I can bet
ter tell you where | did not learn it
1t was not from your dictionary"
In Scotland when an infant Is to b.
baptized. the father is bound to show
, some kind OF speaking acquaintance
with the shorter catechism. One da,
a collier went to his minister to be
speak him for the christening of hi
child How many commandments ha
YEP asked the minister. Twenty" re
Joined the collier, who was forthwith
sent back to pursue his studies In ele
mentary theology. On his way he me
a brother miner, who was going to tn
P minister on similar errand. "Hoy
many commandments hae ye, Jockf
y asked the first. "Ten." "Ohi yo
needn't trouble him WI ten; l offere
h him twenty the while, but he WASH
satisfied"
. The Constitution was a beautift
ship, and wherever she went excite
the most favorable comment. Ate
the war she was visited by an Englis
officer OF high rank, who after maxim
, an Inspection, said: This is one OF III
finest frigates ever saw, II not the Ill
IS est: but l must say that her wheel
l. clumsy and ugly and unworthy OF III
vessel" The Yankee captain reptile,
Il sSir. that wheel is the only Englis
d thing in the ship. During her actio
with the Java her own wheel wa
s knocked to pieces by a shot. After ii
II Java was captured we took her whe'
and fitted II to the Constitution, an
"a although we thing 1t as ugly as you d
n we have kept II as trophy"
An old woman whose husband WI
n i'll in bed sent for the doctor, who can
m and saw the old lady. Il will send hi
some medicine" he said on leavin
(which must be taken In a recumbei
posture" After he had gone the o.
woman sat down, greatly puzzled. ''Tl
er recumbent posture-a recumbent pc
turer' she kept repeating. Il haven
10 got one" At last she thought. Il w
go and see II old Mrs. Smith has got OIL
to lend me-" Accordingly she went an
III eofd IN her neiQhbOr. Have Won a =