Evening star., 1898-08-27
MISS DEWEY,s THIRST.
Fat Man Who Knows the Symptoms
Helps Her Out,

The attendant at the Zoo had just fin
ished serving luncheon of raw beef to the
great horned owls, and with a side swipe
OF his broom at the red-tailed hawk. who
mad been an interested spectator to the
performance sat down on the rail, mopped
his forehead and remarked:
II amt the best job in the world. this:
put, or course, q man don't want to Quarrel
with his bread and butter. Ever siaca
was kid and eloped with a one-ring cir
Gus from a little town out in Indiana
where L was raised. I've been mixed nm
with animals in one way or another. and
tfom oiling an elephant to playing nurs
Tor troupe of performing mice, I've play
ed the whole string out And / want 10
say that animals is smart, and I've cried
any time when some of my outfit have
died, but most of these phenom's YOU read
anout IN the papers is either good fakes or
else can't make good.
You see, the whole thing in training
animals these days seems to be to make
them act like humans, and not first-class
sood-mannered humans at that. If an ele-
phant can sit at table, with a napkin
stuck under his chin, and drink phony
brandy from a bottle, and then raise Cain
because he don't get another bottle quick
enough, people call that smart and clever,
and II makes q good drawing card at a
circus. Now, from what l knows of eti-
Guette, none of them things is right-from
tCcking napkin under your chin to hitting
the bottle too heavy. If they would only
improve a little on nature with anirna Is
Ike making an elephant lift heavy weights
or tear up trees by the roots, or make sIks
ana deer run and jump, and that sort of Il
game, why 1t would be all right.
You see that little bear over there try
ing to tie a knot in that chain," and the
attendant pointed to what seemed to be an
animated length of black wool, all feet
legs and head. Now, that's smart little
bear all right, but she's suffering from too
much advertising Thaf'S he tod
Miss Dewey, which Tim Murphy, the
actors wife, Dorothy Sherrod, gave to the
Zoo not long ago. She's about six months
ola, reckon, and's as gentle as a pup, but
she can't do no stunts. Yet she was ad-
vertised as being so like a human that she
couldn't be dragged past a departm
store where shirt waists were marked down
from dollar to sixty-nine cents and that
so strong that she couldn't bear to see one
pass without Jumping in, and as for miss
Ing her afternoon stroll on the boulevard,
why, she would have cried herself sick.
But that don't do no harm generally,
and 1t seems to please the people. The
second day after she was here 1 was taking
her feed over to her, when l noticed that
she was playing with brown bottle.
took it away, for she might have broken it
and cut herself, and found that the con-
tents was first-class article of Manhattan
cocktail. Now. that stuff's mighty good for
humans, but it amt just right for critters,
proper use. l found another like t the
next day and still another on the third day,
and so l thinks / will keep my eye peeled
and find out where the stock come from.
Along about o'clock the next day / sea a
fat man with watery eyes and a nose like
a radish come down the walk and go over
to where that little bear is tied. He leaned
toward her and produces one of them bot
ties, which he hands to her and says:
Miss Dewey, old girl, I'm your friend.
l heard about that thirst for cocktails you
had developed up there in New York, and
when they tries to put you down here on
a coid-water diet, L says, says |, no you
don't. L know what it is myself, Miss
Dewey, and you amt going to suffer
long as I've got the price. 1 brought you
glass today, though maybe you prefer
yours out of the bottle. L do. Here's at
you and he produces a mate to the bottle
he gave the bear and took a long pull.
Now, that sort of business don't hurt,
but l want to say that Miss Dewey amt
going to take no cab rides, amt nursing
any doll babies, nor going to bargain sales,
but all those who want to bring her cock
tails in bottle has my consent. So long"
and the attendant moved of to give Cold
dust" half bale of hay light lunch