davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-05-19
snneIonlnc a nore with wit.

A bright answer Is put down to the
credit OF DIR. Fitchett, brother of the
editor of the Australian Review of Re,
views. He was member of n Colonial
Parliament, wherein one day a certain
eccentric and elderly member named
Taylor insisted on making u speech on
education. The Grafton consisted of a
hyperbolical eulogy of the Board oi
Schools in Mr. Taylor's constituency.
DR.. Fitchett interjected some jocose
expression of doubt. "Why, sir, j
said the irate Taylor, turning upon
him, "ot this very moment L have a
school in my eye"
'No; only one pupil, Mr.. Taylor, y
retorted the doctor, and the orator's
eloquence was drowned in laughter
London News.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-05-19

Boston Conductor Fare, please"

Boston Conductor" "Farc, please. "
Passenger-"What is the farce"
Conauctor-''I is the tariff OF tax
levied Isy the corporation owning and
controlling the charter and franchise
of this ,treetcar line on those persons
who avail themselves of the oppor-
tunity Afforded them by the company
to secure more rapid and agreeable
transportation than pedal locomotion. -
Passonger-"How much is the fare?''
Conductor-"Five cents, please. -
Detroit Free Press.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-05-19

"He will come tonight" mused
Beryl.
With sigh, she drew back the cur.
tains and gazed out into the darkling
dusk; for her fathers house was built
with view to convenience, and she
could do that"
"What shall I say to him?"
The horse show was no more; the
day bicycle race was thing of the
past.
She did not understand football.
There was nothing left but the
weather and currency reform. DE
troit Journal.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-05-19
SCIENTIFIC AND INDUSTRIAL.

The Polar currents contain less sal!
than those from the Equator.
There are 1000 muscles in tn,
body of caterpillar, and the eve of
dragoon fly contains $1,000 polished
lenses.
An international scientific associa
tion was proposed at the meeting o.
the British Association in Canada in
1884, and it is now suggested that thu
year 1900 would be an appropriate
time to organize such society.
Some unfortunates, we are told bl
M. PHILIPPE Tissie, are "born tired
in literal sense. The condition il
one of nervous debility transmitted b,
a mother to her offspring as result q
her own fatigue or exhaustion-a kind
of poisoning of the child through tn,
vitiated blood of the parent.
Some scientists think that the
earth's interior is composed of white
hot molten matter. Others are of the
opinion that the pressure is so great
that all substances have been con
densed beyond our powers of concep,
ton. DR.. Young goes SO far as to say
that block of steel ten feet squar,
would be pressed into q block onl1
two feet square if taken 1000 miles be
low the earth's surface.
DR.. Howard, the new Secretary o.
the American Association for the Ad
vancement of Science, writing of th.
manner in which seeds are carried to
great distances by birds, recited an
experience of Darwin which had
curious result. Adhering to the leg
Of a wounded partridge, Darwin found
ball of earth weighing six and hall
ounces. From the seeds contained in
this ball he raised thirty-two plants
belonging to five distinct species.
The microbes of fevers may be scat
tered, Professor Charles Tichborne be-
lieves, in dews from sewers. AS the
sewer water is usually two or three
degrees warmer than the cold air OF
certain hours of the night, the watery
Vapor rising through traps may be
frequently condensed, when each parti
,le of dew is liable to become raft on
which microbes may be carried for
miles, to be finally deposited wherever
;he dew is dissipated-perhaps in
lwelling reached through warm
shaft.
The phosphorescent lamp on which
Pului, an Austrian physicist, has been
At work for many years, has a bulb
much like that of the ordinary incan.
descent lamp, with electrodes of alum
mum wire extending directly through
ihe wall of the bulb. The negative
pole terminates in a small disc. A
small square sheet of mica, coated
With sulphide of calcium, hangs from
ihe lamp globe and faces the disc.
When either one or both poles are
connected to an induction coil or plate
electric machine a stream of radiant
electricity is reflected from the disc to
ihe mica, causing the latter to glow
with brilliant phosphorescence.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-05-19

There appears to the New York Com
mercial Advertiser "to be no reason
for the assertion that the Cuban insur'
gents have violated the rules of war in
the reported execution of Colonel Ruiz,
That officer of the enemy was giveG
every opportunity to avoid fate upon
which he rushed with blind foolhard di,
ness. His correspondence with hi.
Cuban friend, Colonel Aranguren,
whose reported execution is now de
MED, carried to him exact knowledge
of the general order condemning t..
death all emissaries bearing tia pro
posal to accept autonomy. When Ruiz
persisted, his friend sent back to him
the order of General Rodriguez, IF hi
offers autonomy, do your duty accom-.
panied by the warning that if the pro.
posed interview was confined to /,
friendly chat, or to the independence
of Cuba, all would be well; but if not
Tor Gods sake do not come Still
kuiz persisted, and when he met hi,
friend and pronounced the fatal wore
autonomy, he condemned himself tt
death. There was no way to evade his
execution, else the discipline of the
entire Cuban army would have beer
destroyed"
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-05-19
However Mr.. John Fox, Jr., mi

However Mr.. John Fox, Jr., may
seem to maintain that Kentucky-bar-
ring some counties in the mountains
is very much like other civilized
districts, with differences i'll favor OF
Kentucky, things do happen down
there that surprise persons who are
not centaurs or lineal descendants OF
Daniel Boone, writes e. S, Martin, in
Harper's Weekly. The ardor with
which eminent kentucl5lans enter into
disputes is always somewhat astonish.
ing to efGete Americans in other States
Where else could have developed such
difference as lately obtained as to
which Of two Kentucky ladies should
christen the battleship Kentucky? II
was settled finally, but not until the
din Of it had penetrated the extreme
confines OF the Union. How painful
it all was; Miss Richardson claiming,
under a patent from Secretary Her.
bert; that gentleman's embarrassed
disclaimer; and Major Baruk Thomas :
Iamentation over the loss Of quart OF
Dan Swiggert 1866 whisky, conse,
Grated by him to patriotic uses, and
believed to have been absorbed by the
Cleveland administration Eheu,
Alasl Why has Kentucky no Hans
Breitmann to put its epics into verse;
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-05-19

The Town Council of Mankato, Kan,
may not be unmusical, but it draws
the line at some tunes. In 1894 it inn
posed a fine of fifty cents on every per-
son heard whistling or singing "After
the Ball, and now an ordinance has
been introduced to silence ga Hot
Time in the Old Town Tonight"
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-05-19
New York's First water Supply.

In 1898 the best drinking water wos
procured at the Tea Water well. This
well received its name from the fact
that it was the best to use in making
tea. 1t was twenty feet deep and four
feet in diameter. The average daily
supply was l4,300 gallons. In hot
weather as many as 2S,0S0 gallons a
day were sometimes used. New York
Herald.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-05-19

A. D. Campbell and Conner Davies,
Northern Kansas editors, are each
minus leg, Campbell the right and
Davies the left. When one buys a
pair of shoes he sends the odd shoe to
the other, both wearing the same size.
Saturday each presented the other
with new shoe as Christmas pres
ent.-Topeka telegram to the Chicago
Chronicle.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-05-19

Old Lady-''You said the train
that L should take leaves at 1890
didn't you?"
Booking gClerk-"Yes, madam; and
l think I've told you that about ten
times already"
Old Lady-"Yes, "T know you
have; but my little nephew says he
likes to hear you talk. Tit Bits.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-05-19

Mamie (singing)-"My smother was
a lady"
Aggie (interrupting)-'Aw, shut
up! so wuz mo fadder.'
Mamie-"Wotcher givin' me?"
Aggie-"Da"s dead right-he WIZ
de bearded lady in a dime musee fer
free years. Puck.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-05-19

A Gumb prisoner who can't read OF
write is providing C delicate problem
in law for one of the London courts.
He can plead neither guilty nor no.
guilty, and IS unable to communiusss
with his solicitor, which is one Of hfr
privileges. So the question is raised
whether a special act Of Parliament
will be required.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-05-19
Her own bitter cry awakens Hilda,

Her own bitter cry awakens Hilda,
and she starts up trembling in every
limb, to find that the lace scarf around
her throat had caught in the wicker
chair, which perhaps accounted for
the choking sensation of her dream.
Tue next day the bell of the season
said Yes to Jacl, Armstrong, and
sealed with two loving lips the death
warrant Of the heartless coquette.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-05-19

Mamma Ito Tiny Tot, who wants to
deprive her younger brother of a
delicacy they have both set their
hearts on)-"No, darling, you must
let baby have it now, and when he
grows up, and you are a young lady,
he will have to give way to you"
Tiny Tot-''Is that why papa al
ways has to do as you want, mummy"
Punch.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-05-19
THE MERRY SIDE OF LIFE,
STORIES THAT ARE TOLD BY THE
FUNNY MEN OF THE PRESS,

When Girls Grown Up-A Solution of
the Problem-Not n Hopeless Case
His Line-Putting on Her Wraps
A Fine Recommendation, Etc, Etc.
She has ceased to believe there's n pan in
the moon,
But she can't get out of her head
The old idea that there is one
In hiding under the bed.
Chicago News.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-05-19

He -"I shall never marry until I
meet a woman who is my exact op-
posite, mentally"
She-"Why don't you ask Miss
Floyd? She is considered one of tue
most intellectual girls in town. -
Truth.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-05-19

Her Father-"How do you know
you love my daughter? You've only
been acquainted a few weeks"
The Suitor-'"That is true: but 1
see that you've just negotiated a loan
Of $1,000, 900. A man who can do
that is the kind of person I want for
a father-in- law. - Chicago News.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-05-19
Marvellous Growth.

"Is your town booming out there in
the mining district, Slicks?"
81 should say so. It's more won
derful than magic. 1 pitched my
tent in hole in the ground one even
ing and when l walked up I was in the
cellar of a union depot. Detroit
Free Press.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-05-19

zim lin deep whisper)-"There goes
woman who is living under an as-
sumed name"
Fam (disgustedly)-"Ratsl Why,
that's Mrs. Brownr'
Zim-'I know it," Her name was
Jones before she was married."
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-05-19

Miss Wabash-"Your friend who
has just left us is something of o
pessimist, imagine"
Miss Halsted-"Indeed, he isn't.
He's an optician, and he has the
cream of the West Side trade. Chi
cago News.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-05-19


were children? All! God never
created any creature more cruel than
beautiful coquette without heart Do
not denylt! You have used every charm
you possess to make me love you, and
have succeeded. You shall listen to
me now. love you! ] love you! I
love youl Nay, do not speak. L will
not take your final answer to-day. To
morrow will come for it. Ali if it
Is Yes, L swear that you shall never
regret it. If it is No, then you will
have sent one more manto 'hell!" aud
without another word Jack Armstrong
turned on his heel and left abruptly.
Hlida Phare lookedsafter his retreating
figure with vogue sense OF shame.
she had Wo1 the love of the "woman
hater, bat the victory vas leaving q
sting IN even her hardened coquettc
conscience, though she tried to feel
herself agsrieved at his outburst.
AS II 1 can help men falling in love
VITA me. L cannot marry them all. L
certainly do like Captain Armstrong,
but don't like matrimony, | want
to keep my freedom little longer first.
a pretty glrl can at any time easily get
engaged, but 1t requires an ugly girl
to easilT get disengGged, so that even
beauty has its drawbacks" she con-
cluded, with little soft laugh. Then,
with the I.ucopfcssed desire to drive
the recent interview from her mind,
she took ar society paper and soon
forgot all the crumpled rose leaves of
her happy. careless life in the pleas
ure Of reading description Of the
dress the beautiful Miss Phare wore
at the Queen S ball, where, as,the belle
OF the season, she was the cynosure of
all eyes.
Ny dear Hilda, have you heard the
dreadful news?' The girl look up
from the comfortable wicker chair
where she was reclining lazily under
the shade of the old oak on the lawn.
No, what news?" she asked, indif-
ferently, for her portly aunt's face
looked more important than Mortified.
as she stood ly her niece's side, hold
ing large white and green lined sun
shade over her bare head.
Mrs. Chester shot her husband
and that pretty Miss Dene yesterday
afternoon, and then killed herself"
"Oh, how dreadful What made
her do it?" exclaimed Hilda, thor
oughly reused now, as she sat bolt
upright in her chair.
"Well, it appears that she caught
him kissing this Miss Dene, to whom
he had been engaged before he mar
ried his wife for her money. Fancy
shooting both of them like that"
"What u wicked. cruel woman, Mrs.
Chester must have been. 1t was only
yesterday morning rode over to Hill
Hall to see her new Paris dress. 1t is
quite horrible to think that I have
touched the hand of muIderess, and
the girl gave shudder.
-, ~, eyes, it is, indeed! I am so very
sorry for their Door little Gaucbter. buf
I Pussie to play with her again. must
go now, for ! want to write and tel
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-05-19

Tho estimated total candle power Of
oil the electric lamps used in New
York City is placed ct $4,000. 900.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-05-19

"No, Willie, DEAR" said mamma,
mo more cake tonight. Don't you
know you cannot sleep well on a ful
stomach?"
''Well," replied Wellie, 81 can sleep
on my back
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-05-19

She (smiling)-"Your face is too
near to mine"
He-"It's two inches away, and
that's as bad as thousand miles"
She (poutingly)-"It wouldn't be
for some men. Harlem Life.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-05-19

A Kansas City woman who speaks
ceelingly on the subject says that the
heaviest work any woman ever under
took was light housekeeping.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-05-19

eyes, she knows that young face
again. He had been one of her boy
ish suitors, whom she had firted with
and then laughed ct. He is holding
a dicebox now in his shaking hand, and
on that dicebox is written one word
'Hilda.' An! who is that drunken
man glaring at her with bloodshot
eyes? He lifts a glass Of spirits, and
on that glass is engraved one word
'Hilda.'"
Ah! poor wife of loveless marriage,
made by the husband in a moment Of
pique. Her tears as they fall form
one word-"Hilda.
Yet another face she sees-the face
of last years Irritation. 1t is pale
with the anguish of death, and on the
pistol by his side is stamped one word
--"Hilda."
Then the girl falls at the feet of the
angel with an exceeding bitter cry.
II am indeed a murderess.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-05-19
waiting till the day dawns ana the

waiting till the day dawns ana the
golden gates are opened" s
"Ihen l must be dead, and those
must be the gates of heaven, that
beautiful place used to like reading
about when a child. J. will join the
throng and go in with them"
And when the day dawned she also
pressed forward towards those golden
gates, guarded by angels, but though
many passed through, more were
turned away. At last onlyIHilda and
another were left. That other was
broken hearted woman, and the girl
shrunk back with loathing when she
saw it was Mrs. Chesterl As she re-
coiled an angel beckoned to the weep
ing woman, and she beheld her no
more. But now the gates were clos
ing. Hilda sprang forward and
stretched out her hands to those
white robed guardians.
"You have forgotten me-"
''There is no forgetting here" came
The answer.
"Then why do you not let me
through?"
"Your sins expel you"
"My sins! My sins! What sins
have [ committed? What command
ment have L broken?" questioned the
girl, with the surprise of self-con-
WINGED innocence.
1.-The sixth commandment. Thou
shalt do no murder
Hilda shrank back in horror, amaze
ment, Gnger.
II commit murderl 7, who could
never bear to see even bird shot"
eyes, you are a murderess," an
swercd the angel, sternly. "You
who recoiled from that woman are
much more guilty. She, in great
temptation, in great provocation killed
but mortal bodies; you, in mere vani-
ty, in mere idleness, have killed i'm
mortal souls! Thinkest thou there is
no margin to commandment. Know
You not that though the text be brief,
yet does it overflow beyond the limits
Of words on the broad margin of mean-
ing labelling unwritten sins, and you
have broken q marginal command
ment, Thou shalt do no murder.
"But have committed no murder"
reiterated the trembling girl.
Behold and see," aud the angel
passed his hand over the eyes of the
belle OF the london season.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-05-19
TIE SIXTH
COMMANDMENT


, ~ hotnlhS 10 you
that my whole
happiness lies at
your mercy? Am
/ only one more
OF the many you
have flirted with,
and then smiled
oSi1a &c if +bo-,
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-05-19

"Where was she now? Who were
those?" she asked one standing beside
her.
They are the souls OF &s dead
The San Francisco call., 1898-04-06

causing quite commotion in the selling platter brigade by his recent sorties. The feelings oi Mir. Timrnons have become somewhat ruff1ed of late by having his name connected with Kansas City turfman wearing the same name, and a partner in the firm of Timmons & Marks. There is no connection between the two. MT. Timmons also disclaims having had anything to do with the recent claiming of the horses Hohenzollern and Hermoso The Eastern horseman Is man of means, and among own has the reputation Of doing things above board in all his dealings.
 Declarations in the Burns Handicap have re- duced the probable starters to the following Satsuma. Rubicon, Senator Bland. Ostler Joe. Buck Massie. Howard Mann. Vinctor, Saliva tion. Wheel of Fortune, Won't Dance, Captain Reese, Fleur de Lis. Scarborough, Candelaria, Maximo, Traverser. Fonsovannah. Morellito; Linstock. Marplot, Official. pr. Marks and Mid Glenn.
 After his soul-stirring acrobatic turn the back of Gotobed on Monday, Dick Clawson no doubt felt ashamed of himself and gave bet tors an opportunity to retrench yesterday.
 Charley Thorpe has the Jumping privilege. and 1t Is only question of time when Mike Hennessy ard 'Skeets'' Martin will have to look to their laurels
 In his admiration of the big brown colt Ex- cursion owned by Burns & Waterhouse Starter Ferguson almost overlooked Saintly, which drew the outside position, and sent away
The San Francisco call., 1898-04-06
In Sloan'S Absence the Lightweight Piloted
 Four Winners.
Followers of the FavOrites Wrote Home for More
 Money.
Saintly Outran Maud FergusOn-Fon- on . savannah Defeated Both Belli-
 coso and Montgomery.

Jockey Dick Clawson passed an evening by his own fireside and piloted four winners across the line at Oakland yesterday. He is a streaky sort of rider this young man from Woodland, for some of his exhibitions would give one the jaundice: they savor so of the vel low. None of his successes yesterday was astride first choices in the ring. In fact it was a shady day for favor ties, for without single exception all fell by the wayside.
 The weather was cool, which In a measure accounts for the poor time made. The betting, however, was fast enough to make amends for all the other failings. The attendance was better than on the opening day.
 Peixotto had one of his good days, and at odds of 5 and 6 to 1 the cratic Brutus gelding led the 2 to favorite, Rosormonde, out by couple of lengths in the opening siX-furlong sprint. Plu- meria, with a world of speed, lasted long enough to get the show.
 Fully Coulter's colt Daily Racing Form received big support to win the five and a half furlong sprint that fol- lowed, and finished third. In hard drive the Burns & Warehouse entry, ElSmore, got the QeclSlon, neck peIore Towanda.
 Ed Purser's Key del Tierra was nomi- mated for the mile and a sixteenth sell ing run. but after showing speed for nearly six furlongs, retired from the contest Gotobed, the push" nominee, second choice at post time, assumed the lead the last part. and. driving hard, beat the 30 to l shot, Twinkler, out scant length in 1:4SA.
 Garnet Ferguson's lilly, Maud Fer guson. was made favorite over Saintly in the betting on the two-year-old event at four and a half furlongs, and though she made a very creditable showing, struck a snag. Saintly broke from the rear, ran around her field and won easing up from the first choice San Ramon finished in the show.
 Kittleman Bros. tried to repeat Mon days turn with Myth in the mile sell ing run, but failed. The gelding ruled fayorite, and after making all the run ming was downed at the wire by both Bonita and Refugee, the former win ming by half a length.
 Bellicoso, with Thorpe up, was stout ly supported to take the closing six furlong selling sprint, going to the post a to 2 favorite. Breaking from the post first, he was outfooted to the stretch by Montgomery. There the hot pace told on the latter, which was in turn collared and led out by Fonsovannah in the fast time of 1:14 flat.
The San Francisco call., 1898-04-06
Track Notes.

Squeak Allmark. the steeplechase rider. departed for the East last evening in the same car which carried James Tod Sloan. On Feb ruary 2s. with a s20 piece his bank roll to begin operations with, Squeak bet the works on Primavera, 15 to l chance. and drew down s320. Since that time he met with a phenomenal streak of luck, taking away with him over sSG00 in hard cash.
 After winning the mile and a sixteenth, Co., tobed changed owners. The bay colt was en- tered to be sold for s700 and when J. F. Fogg the owner of Garland Bar and Cappy, boosted him to 5000. Tommy Lottridge told that horse man to take him.
 Charley Fink was compelled to stand quite a substantial lift after his good lilly Bonito took the mile selling She was entered to be sold for $500, and was bid up to 5000 by w. H. Timmons. Charley retained her with the customary s, and will also get part of the ''run-up' money back from Willie Sink owner of Refugee. the second horse.
 And. by the way Mir. Timmons. or "Bill' as he is known on the far Eastern tracks. Is