Owingsville outlook. [volume] (Owingsville, Ky.) 1879-192?, 1898-09-15

" III lie w A. W NEARf.-llewltt-
THAT girl makes me tired"
Jewett-"Been holding her OF
your knee, have youS"-New Yorl
Vim
First Bootblack-"You had e
quarrel wild Nidsey, Billy?"
Second Bootblack-"Yes, l had
and I'm goin' ter have my revenge
too"
+. B.-"Going to fight him?"
S. B.-"No; I'm going ter stant
aside of him when he's a-shinin
a gent, and when he's finished In
goin' ter say, Shine, sirr"
LOVE In EARLY DAYs.-"Yes.'
said Adam to Eve as the twiligh,
drew about the aged couple, soft
ening their lineaments to a semb.
lance of youth, show well l remem.
ber the day We met! You wore a
difiident air.
That was all.-In d ianapolis
Journal.
MERELY FROM OBsERvATIoN.-"Is
Miss Blinkins at homer" asked Mr..
Saunders of the Irish girl who an
swered his ring at the door.
"Yes, blave she is, SIR"
''Is she engaged1"
"An' is it engaged you say? Faix.
an l can't tell you, sir, but she
kissed Mr.. Vincent last evenin' as
if she had never seen the like Nv
him, an it's engaged I b'lave they
are, sir."-Exchange.
A DUMAS SroRY.-Dumas he
elder WAS rarely y -piteful to or about
his fellow men, but one day, when
he happened to be in that mood, a
friend called to tell him a piece of
news. "They have just given NJ.
X. the Legion of Honor" he said.
Then he added, in u significant
tone, "Now, can you imagine why
they should have given it to him ?"
Yes" answered the great dra-
matist promptly. "They have given
1t to him because he was without
it."-Exchange.
BIsMARCK's CALL BELL.-When
Bismarck was Prussian delegate to
the Federal Diet at Frankfort he
took apartments in the house of a
patrician who held the Prussians
in great repugnance, and when Bis
marck applied to him to have bell
fixed up in his servants room, he
answered that if Bismarck wanted
a bell he must get it fixed himself.
A few days later a loud report of
firearms was heard to proceed from
the delegates room. The landlord
rushed up to his lodger's apart
ments, and bursting into Bismarck's 8
study, found him seated at his desk
calmly smoking pipe. There was
a pistol lying on the table, still
smoking at the barrel.
"For the love of heaven, what
has happened?" asked the fright
ened landlord.
Nothing, nothing" answered
Bismarck, quietly; don't disturb
l was only calling my
servant; it is very harmless sig
nal, to which you will have to ac-
custom yourself, for no doubt 1
shall want oftentimes to use it
again."
The bell was fixed up next day.
San Francisco Argonaut.
EDIToR's HARD Lor.-There are
always those who will kick. For
instance. If you publish jokes with
whiskers on them some one will say
that you ought to be in lunatic
joint. If you don't print something
to smile at they will say you are a
pessimistic fossil. If you spread
yourself and write a good, original
article. they will say it is stolen. If
you reprint an article they say you
can't write. If you say a deserv-
ing word for a man you are partial
if you compliment the women the
men are jealous, and if you don't
the verdict of the women is to the
effect that your paper is not fit to
use in the construction of a bustle.
If you stay in your Office you are
afraid to remain on the streets; if
you do you are lazy. If you look
seedy you are squandering your
money ;if you wear good clothes you
are u dude and don't pay for them.
If you play social game of any
kind and get stuck you are a fish ;
if you win you are tin horn; and
so it goes through one continual
round of pleasant complications
Roslyn (Mich.) Sentinel.
AN ADVERTISING FABLE.-Once
upon u tltuc thCEC was IuCICuuut
who said, "Huh What do / want
to advertise for2 1 can't adver-
tise and shan't advertise. Who,
me3 Why, I've got more business
now than 1 can attend to. BY gee! !!
it keeps me awab nights! Go
away, young man, you are a mere
insect, i can't see you! What, me
advertiser Me2 Well, 1 guess not !!
l don't have to. i am the whole
thing! i am the peeple!" So the
man swelled up very large and
puffed like steamboat, and the
poor advertising insect crept out of
his office and went over to see q
plain approachable sort of a man
across the way, who did not have
all the business he could attend to.
and thought he would advertise.
And it came to pass that in a
year or so the plain approachable
mans business came creeping up
and up, because the people had
seen his advertisement and knew
he was alive. while they concluded
by the same token that the large