The Valentine Democrat. [volume] (Valentine, Cherry Co., Neb.) 1896-1898, 1898-03-31

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even in the days of f~our-bOttle men.
On being found alone with half a dozen
empty claret bottles, he was asked:
What, surely you have not got through
them without assistance" "Oh, no.
he replied, c%heerfully. Il had the as
~sistance of a bottle of Madeira"
The Medical Record tells of a man
who was cured of blindness by a sur
geOn remarkable for his unprepOSsess-
ing appearance. When vision was fully
restored, the patient looked at his bene-
factor and said: Lucky for you, young
man, l did not see you before you OPP
Grated, Or l would never have given my
consent"
The Georgia voter bids fair to be as
early a bird as the candidate. if W.
may believe a story told in the Atlanta
Constitution. Recently an old negro
met a former employer and approached
him in this way: You lookin' mighty
we'll, Mars Tom" Yes: I'm feeling
pretty good" Il thought you wuz.
You know what you look like, Mars
ION No. Wudl uO l. loOh IihC.
You looks like you had a dollar in yo'
pocket ell wuz gwine ter run fer guy
ner.''
Lord George Bentinck did not like Il,
debtor. When dining once in his club,
he noticed a man whom he knew as a
defaulter also dining there. The latter
called for his bill. AS the waiter was
bringing it, Lord George interposed,
and in his commanding, incisiye tones
said: waiter. bring that bill to me-"
CoOlly casting his eye over its items,
Lord George said, in q voice heard all
over the room. and with a severity Of
tone which made his unfortunate vic
tim vince, Before Captain orders
such expensive dinners he should pay
his debts of honor"
They tell a good story of Sir Walter
Scott about Edinburgh. 1t seems that
he was far from being a brilliant schol-
al. and at school he usually was at the
head of the other end of his class. After
he.became. famous, he n day dropped
into his early school to pay a visit to
the scene Of his former woes The
teacher was anxious to make a good
impression on the famous writer and
put the pupils through their PAGES to
bring out their best points. But which
is the Ounce? You have one, surely?
Show him to me-" after a time Scott
said. The teacher called out Il poor
fellow who looked the picture of woe as
he came bashfully toward the distin-
guished visitor. and are you the
dunce?' said Scott. Yes, sir" said
the boy. We'll, my good fellow" said
Scott, there is a crown for you for
keeping my place warm"
Lord Falmouth-who bred horses,
knew all about them, and had for
trainer that paragon, John Scott-never
bet but once. He had a promising tilly,
Queen Bertha, and she was the favorite
for the Oaks in 1862. She had appar-
emily fallen off in condition, and her
owner put no confidence in her. Fal-
mouth was inclined to scratch her,
when Mrs. Scott, John SCOTS wife,
spoke up for her favorite: I'll lay
your lordship siXpence she WINS said
Mrs. Scott, laughing. For once Lord
Falmouth broke his rule never to bet,
and exclaimed: Done, Mrs. Scott"
SO Queen Bertha, with Tom Aldcroft
up. appeared at the post, and, thanks
to the brilliant riding of her jockey,
beat Marigold by a short head for the
first place. Lord Falmouth paid his
bet to Mrs. Scott in noble fashion. He
procured a brand-new sixpence from
the bank, had it set round with dia-
monds and mounted as a brooch, and in
that form presented it to the comely
mistress of Whitehall.
Dear Farrar, in his "Reminiscences"
says that the first proofs of Dean Stan
ley's "Sinai and Palestine" informed
the reader that from the monastery
of Sinai was visible "the horn of the
burning beast" This was a fearfully
apocalyptic nightmare of the printers
devil for "the horizon of the burning
BUSH The original p~roofsheets also
| stated that Oh turning the shoulder of
Mount Olivet in the walk from Beth
any, there suddenly burst upon the
spectator a magnificent view of Jones'"
In this startling sentence Jones' was
a transmogritication of "Jerus," the
deans abbreviated way of writing "Je-
rusalem.' When the dean answered an
invitation to dinner his hostess has
been known to write back and inquire
whether his note was an acceptance or
a refusal, and when he most kindly re-
piled to the question Of some working
men, the recipient of his letter thanked
him. but ventured to request that the
tenor Of the answer might be written
out by some else, "as he was not
familiar with the handwriting of the
aristocracy."
A young man was tried for murder,
having killed a member of a rival fac
ton in a faction fight, writes Aubrey
de We're in his "RecollectionS.'' The
Judge, reluctant to sentence him to
death on account Of his youth, turned
to him and said: is there any one in
court who could speak as to your char
acter?" The youth looked around the
court and then said, sadly: There is no