Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1898-05-11

well and healthy rs ! ever was
were. The answer was short but sac
Rockland has the handsomest girls and
the homeliest telephone poles OF any
place | visited"
At a church socable given in East
port by the young people. a young cou-
pie who enjoyed each others company
much, were seated at a small table. en-
joying the refreshments. Near them
was a vacant chair and as the minister
OF thu church was passing, the young
man asked him TO join them at the
table. The pastor was taken somewhat
by surprise AT the request. but reached
for his good book" and began read
ing the marriage ceremony in a loud
voice. It was several minutes before
the affair was satisfactorily explained.
especially to the young lady. but the
marriage did not take place at that
time and the young man viii be more
cautious in the future in his remarks.
This story, which smacks Of wicked
ness. comes from the town Of Prospect:
At a recent seancc, among those pres
ent was a lady who mourned the loss
Of her consort. and as the manifesto
tion began to appear the spirit of the
departed BENEDICT was announced as
having appeared upon the scene. OF
course, the widow was anxious to en-
gage in conversation with the absent
one and the following dialogue ensued;
Widow-"Are you in the spirit
wcrld:'
The Lamentod-'I am
WidoW-"How long have YOU been
there"
The I.amentcd-"o, some time"
Widow-"Don't YOU want to come
back ana he with your lonely wife,"
The Lamonted-"No if / know my
self. It's hot enough here"
Recently The Hon. Gid Stevens. of
the Portland Express. took occasion to
remark in that newspaper that the
earth was undoubtedly round. There
upon Uncle Joe Holden Of Otisfeld de-
livered the following ultimatum on the
assault upon his famous theory of
terrestrial hatness:
Mr. Gideon Stevens
Sir: ] noticed an article in the Eve
ming Express of last Saturday. written
hy YOU, making light OF my theory that
the earth is fiat and stationary. and
that the sun and moon do move 1t
IN Iat ~,
for a purpose, and that purpose seems
to tee that YOU want a discussion with
me on the theory that the earth is a
round globe ana revolves. Now if a dis
cussion is what you want on the sub
ject. | am your man. AS YOU want time
to study it up. | will give YOU until the
first part of July to prepare yourself:
then get hail. arrange meeting time
and then notify me and | viii be there
and we will see if we are alone on a
flat earth. | have a lot of good COM
mon sense persons with me now. Make
your arrangements and notify me and
| will meet YOU. Take your snuff box
along with you. for you will need a
couple of pinches to sharpen your in
teiiect. j. w. Holden.
Gideon replies that he must ask for
an extension of time. until the Spanish
are kicked off the earth,-round or
flat.
Those Washington orders make It
look as though our Maine troops might
not be taken outside the State. after
all.
Good for Major Collins He is a little
fellow, but he is all right and not only
his battalion but all the boys are glad
he is to retain his command
The Oxford Democrat editorially re-
marked recently: Last year about
this time We had the pleasure to ac-
knowledge the receipt of a fine box of
straw berries from one of our subscrib-
erS and to express our thanks for the
same" We infer that there are still a
few thanks in that sanctum which
might be picked up by an appreciative
subscriber
The Bates students are showing the
right spirit in turning out and working
with their own hands on their new
athletic field
Did Spanish spies have a hand in that
powder mill explosion at South Wind
ham? Powder mills in California and
New Jersey have also been MYSTERIOUS
ly blown up recently.