Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1898-05-21
MR.. DOoLEY ON STRATEGY.


rbicaeo Journal
"A sthrateejan," said Mr.. Dooley in
response to Mr.. Hennessy's request Cor
.oformation. is a champeen checker
,,aver Whin tn war broke out me
tfad Mack whit to me frind Hanna,
an saws he What, he says, what
..sn we do to cr-rush tn naughty power
ir snain.' he says, an bring this hate
IN, War 10 a early conclusion?' he says.
,1c5ilize tn checker players, says
tIqona. An firm all CORNERS iv tn
courthry they've gene to Washington,
ubele they're called tn Sthrateejy
Board.
pay an night they sit in a room
v.irb q checker-board On tn end iv
eour bari, an study problems iv tn
navy. Al night Mack dhrops in. We'll,
bovs says he, how goes tn battle?'
he saws. GLORIOUS, says the Stratee-
Nv Pcard. TWO more moves an We'll
fa IN III king row. 'Ah,' says Mack,
Mis- is too good to be thrue, he says.
IN hit few brief minyits tn drinks
III he on SPAIN he says. Have We any
mans fr Simpsons fleet? he says.
where is it?' says the Sthrateejy
BOARD. 1 dinnaw,' says Mack Good
says th Sthrateejy Board. Where's
~ Spanish feet?' says they Bonn
fardin' Boston, at Cadiz, in San June
e. Natzoon, sighted near tn gas house
ba our special correspondent, copy
right 1898, be Mike O'Toole.' "A
s+brong position, says the Sthrateejy
Fo.rd. Undoubtedly tn feet is head
cd south 10 attack an seize Armour's
zine factory Ordher Sampson to sail
north as fast as he can an lay in a
supply iy ice.
"tTb' summers comm on. In
e-bruct Schley to put on all steam an
Hin nut it eff again, an call us up
he r. lephoae. R-rush e;ghty-three mill
ron ihreops an four mules to Tampa,
=, MI e: to Chickeamaha, to Coney
Island 10 Ireland, to tn divvle, an
r-rrsh tn;m back again. Don't r-rush
thin. Ccdher Sampson to pick up tn
cah,e a, Lincoln Park an run into
th' bar-rn Is tn balloon corpse
ready? It is? Thin don't sind it up.
sind FL up. Have TIL Mulligan Gyards
co-op'rate with Gomez an tell him to
I'll. away his whisIers They've got
tarqlad in tn riggin' We need yellow
fever thrcops Have We amy yellow
fever II tn house? Give tito twinty
thouse0d three hun6hren + n an sind
Thin afther Gov'nCr Tanner.
TEDDY R-roosevelt's R-ro ght rid
ers AFRO 17wn stairs havin their uni
farr7s messed. Ordher thin to the
r-uf links at wa0st. They must be 10
ird-a'#ton Where's Richard Harding
nay.so On tn bridge iv tn New York?
Ter-'r -h bridge. Seize Gin raj Miiss's
u7ifor-a We must strenthen the gid
rsea~l- Where's tn Gussie? Ruunln
off Cuba wi. wan hundred men an
arms. il c30rsa. Oh war is dhread
ful thing, It's ye'er move, Claude says
III stMateejy BOARD.
An so il goes ont an day be day
w r-7ead tt tur-rble DRY iv our brave
srhla,ect9Gs r2crificin their time on
I'll altar " their country, as Hogan
saw Lite we thought Whin we wint
--0 this war iv TIL horrors it wud
bring Little we thought iv the moth
ers at home weepin' FIR their brave boys
down at Washin'ton hur-rtin' their
poor eyes over a checker-board Little
We thought iv these devoted men, as
Hogan says, with achin' heads, plan
min to sind three hundred thousand
mlllyon men an a carload " beans to
their fate at Tampa Fla. But some
wan must be sacrificed, as Hogan says.
An these poor fellows in Washin'ton
with their r-red eyes an their tired
backs will be an example to future gin
eFations, as Hogan says. iv how an
American soldier can face his jooty
Whn he has to an how he can't whin
he hasn't to-"
Dewey amt a sthrateejan?" inquir-
ed Mr. Henessy.
No" said Mr.. Dcoley. Cousin
George is a good ma-an an I'm very
fond iv him, more be raison iv his do
in that Mayo bosthoon Pat Mountjoy,
bgt he has low tastes. We niver cud
make a sthrateejan iv him. They'se a
kind " vulgar fghtin' sthrain in him
that makes him want to go out an slug
some wan wanst month. I'm glad he
amt in Washin'to TIL chances ar-re
ned go TO tn sthrateejy board an pull
its hair"