The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1898-11-01
MR.. DOOLEY ON THE
FRENCH CHARACTER.
LFrom the Chicago Journal
u L,...r.i1 nh - % IA MI. NnnlaEr Or


a tumulchuse people,
Like as not" said Mr. Hennessy,
there's some iV our blood in thim- A
good nanny fv our people wint over
Wanst They cudden't alive been kilt
! at Fontenoy.'
NO" said Mr.. DooIey, "'tis another
kind iv tumulchuse. Win an Irishman
RACES its with wan idee in his mind.
He's goin' for'ard again a single inimy,
an not stone walls or irne chain'n stop
him. He may pause FIR a drink or to
take a shy at polisman-fr a polls
mans always in tn way-but he's as
thrue as tn needle in tn camels eye,
as Hogan says, to tn objec' iv his ha-
thred. So he's been FIR four hundred
years, an so he'll always be while
they'se an England on tn map. Whin
England Furnishes tn Irish II die iv
what Hogan calls ongWee, which is hav-
in no wan in the weary wurruled ye
don't love.
''But with tn Fr-rinch, tits diff'rent.
I say it's diff'rent with tn F'r'rinch.
They're an onaisy an a thrubbled peo-
pie. They start out down tn sthreet,
loaded up with obscenthe an cigareets,
PAWN blocks an wallzin' sthicks an
shtOVe lids in their hands, cryin': "A
base Cap. Dhryfuss,' tn cap bein' far
off in a cage, by dad, So far so good.
"A base Cap. DhryfuSS,' says I, an the
same to all thraitOrS. an nanny iv
thin, whether they ARE or not But
along comes a man with poor hat.
Where did he get tn hat?' demands tn
mob Down with tn bad tile they say.
a base tn lid An they desthrOy tn
hat an tn man undher it succumbs to
tn rule Nv tn majority an jines tn
mob. On they go till they come to
restaurant. Hal says they, 'th' resort
" tn Infamous DuclOse.' His char
rgeS ARE high, says wan. I found
fishbone in his soup, says another. He's
a thraitor,' says a third. "A base tn
soup kitchen. A base tn cafe says
they an they seize tn unfortunate Du-
close an bate him an upset his kettles
iV broth. Manetime where's Cap. Dhry-
fuss? Off in his comfortable cage,
swinging on tn perch an atm seed out
iv a small bottle stuck in tn wire. Be
tn time TIL mob has desthroyd what
they see on tn way they've frgot tn
Cap. intirely, an he's safe FIR another
tits unforch'nIt but it's thrue. TIL
F'r-rinch ARE not steady ayether in
their politics or their morals. That's
where they get done be tn hated Brit
ism. TIL difference in furrin policies is
the difference between second-rate
safe blower an a frst-class boonco
steerer. TIL Fr-rinch buy a ton Nv din
nymite, spind five years in dhrillin'
hole through a steel dure, blow open tn
safe, lose a leg or an arm, an get
away with tn liabilities iv tn firm. TIL
English dhreSS up FIR a Methodist
preacher, stick a piece iv lead pipe in
tn tails iv their coat in case iv emar-
gency an get all tn money there is in
tn line
I'm th'fr'ront dure comes tn English
man with a coon king on ayether arm
that's JUS loaned him their kingdoms
on prom ssOry note, an discovers tn
Fr-rinchman emaggin' firm tn rooms iv
tn safe What ARE ye dom here?
says tn Englishman. Robin tn nay
gurs,' says tn Fr-rinchman, bein'
Truthful as we'll as polite. Wicked
man. says tn Englishman. What ARE
We dom here?' says the F'r-rinchman.
Improvin the morals Nv tn inhabit-
ants says tn Englishman. Is it not
so, RaStuS?' he says. 1t is says wan
a. nOOTeT a bet
Their man since We came he says. Yes
says tn EngliShman, I propose FIR to
thruly rayfOrm this unhappy country
he says. This benighted haythen on me
exthreme left has been injOOced to cut
out a good dale iv his wife's business,
he says, an go through life torminted
be only wan Spouse he says. 'Th'r-rest
will go to wurruk FIR me- he says. All
crap games bein' particular On-gOdly'u
be undher tn con-throl iv tn govern
mint. which, he says, IS me. Policy
shops'n be r-run carefully, an I've ap-
pinted Rastus here Writer-in-Wai attn to
Her Majesty he says. TIL r-rum they
dhrink in these par-rts, he says, Is
fearful he says. What shall we do TO
stop tn accused thraffic? Sell thin
gin saws L ''Tis shameful they shud
90 with nawthin to hide their naked
but he says. as th' weather's too
warrum FIR clothes, I'll not sell thin an
nything that'n last long, he says If
it wasn't FIR religion he says, I don't
come to- he says. Who's rellingion?'
saws tn F'r-rinchman. My religion,
saws tn Englishman. These pore, be
nighred savidges,' he says, II not be
left to ye'er odjious morals an ye'er
hootchy-kootchy school iv thought he
says but he says, 'undher tn binif-
clint r-r-uIe iv a wise an thrue govern
mint he says II be thurly prepared FIR
FItvin,' he says, 'whin their time comes
to GO he says, which I thrust will not
be long, he says. so, I'll thank We to
be Off he says, or I'll take tn thick
end iv the slungshot to ye,' he says.
9TH Fr-rinchman is a brave man,
an he'd stay an have it out on tn
hure but some wan calls: "A base tn
Chinnyman,' an off he goes on another
thrack. An whin he gets to TIL Chin
nymen he finds tn English We abased
thin already. An so he dances firm
wan par-rt iv tn wurrhld to another
like a riochous an happy flea, an div
vie tn bit iv progress he makes. On'y
thrubble FIR others an a merry life f'r
himsilf."
''If England whit to war with France
said Mr.. Hennessy, suddenly, I'd be
FIR France"
$50 We wud, Hinnissy. So We wud."
said Mr.. Dooley. AN I'm not sayin'
that I wudden't f'rget that I'm an An
gIo-Saxon long enough to take wan