The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1898-06-12

New a wreck because or misplaced Condolences
in a Dyupeptic-LookinE NIInister.

MLsTAKR OF a WHEELNAR.
New n wreck Beoauso or misplaced Confidence
In a Dyupcptic-LookinE Mlnister.
at is probably because l am so fat that my
friends who are scorchers frequently invite me
to ride with them" said tho man from Newark
as no rested on tho shady side of the street.
but l know my limitations too well to accept
any such bids. like to jog out on my wheel at
a comfortable pace, and II n good.looking road
house gets in my way l don't rush by 1t as II 10
were a plague, but / dismount ana compare lite
beer with the tap OF the last place at which
/ stopped. My method Of riding a wheel hrs
merits which need no discussion. Ill had only
declined all invitations TO ride with other
people l would not DO the wreck / am to-day.
Let me tell you, sir. that I am nll faded ont. My
heart action has been 80 accelerated since yes
tcrday that II seems rs II It would batter down
my breast. l am a wreck. and the man who 10
responsible for II is u tall. slab.slded. dyspeptio
minister in Newark. Isn't that fno consola-
ton l met him several days ago and In course
OF our remarks something was said about hi
cycling.
"'Do you ride. Mr.. Jersey q he said to rue, In
n soft. purrinR fashion.
Every day said l, promptly. Tho Rev.
Mr.. Newark said that no admired the wheel.
and he believed that, properly used, 1t was an
instrument for good. Then no invited me TO
ride with him, and yesterday was the day
selected. l accepted his invitation with pleas
ure, because l do not like to ride alone. and he
was so till and so thin that / felt sure no would
want to rest as often as | would. When the
Row. Mr.. Newark called for me on his wheel
yesterday afternoon l was gleeful. He wore q
short black duster. n cap, and n pair of long
trousers strapped around his ankles. He looked
easy. His wheel was four years old, and 10
weighed thirty-two pounds.
1--WE will try a littlo run over to Hamlot-
vile. and take 1t oasy. said the Rev. Mr.. Newark.
"Hamletville! l exclaimed. for it was If
teen miles away. and the day was hot. ,,.fr
"'I really don't feel as il ought to GO fur
Their than that said tho Rev. Mr.. Newark in an
Apologize manner. ,
"All right said l, that Is far enough to suit
me- and as l thought OF his very thin leus and
his old wheel l concluded that he was not aware
OF the job that he had cut out for himself. We
trundled out of the city at n comfortable pace,
and when we struck the country road the min
" ! am familiar with this trip. and II you don't
mind | will lead the way and off he went like
a road racer. His long trousers, strapped around
a quarter Of q mile ahead Of mic before 1 could
got up speed. A thin stream of DUST that spurted
into a trailing cloud marked his progress, and l
pumped along behind us best Icould, suspectlnR
That was where I made a mistake. He scorched
right up the Hill and waited on top until l came
IN blRnl. linen, WAVING MS MINUS IN n1uCn inc
way that y~ardmen coax q freight train down q
siding, he mounted his wheel and off he went.
That whole trip TO Hamletville was like o
nightmare to me. l lost sight of the minister a
dozen different. times. and / never got near
a %Sssif WITH sq Isl %fia alm TO v lSt %P' Of bis hna d to sSn s {
when he was good enough to slow up until I
ZANE in sight: pumped away on my Wheel
help wondering whore the chap slowed away so
much strength and vitality: At last Hamlet-
Rev. Mr.. Newark. looking cool and untired. I
had a vision of a large glass of beer, As soon 40
l was within mailing distance the minister
rive made that fifteen miles in a little less
get something cool to drink
We entered the hotel, and the Rev. Mr..
Its the best thing kn9w Of to drink he
he ordered beer. was SO mortiaed:'
Now. after that. what could ! do but gulp
$ 5SSt ha ah9 an milk hour If i IT R RSisGleedll %o and We ths saA{{SSa a
Rev. Mr.. Newark said: .
Nov that we arc well rested; let's start
back. l feel q spiritual uplifting when / am ON
- Knowing that ho would lead me a hot chase
back. l asked him il he would mind stopping
every MSu tTq &c or : t nIossn miles st to get Gs a k El%ss Of ~ % hoG
Ike a billiard ball in my stomach, How l hated
that man as he, scorched ahead Of mel It was
Of two miles for milk, but it was UNPLEASANT 70
remember that IT, was going to give milk
drink SS en it, e1'9 Stop f0T we f%roaaiHdG . a st10' l fo mssi
!. myself to drink another glass of milk as slowly
as possible. AS soon as I had finished it that
milk felt like n second billiard ball. and added
to my discomfort The trip back was slower be.
uncomfortable. When l reached Newark / felt
like n human pool table. AS the Rev. Mr.. New.
ark left me at my house he said:
"'Thank you so much for your company. ]
regret that l was not in condition to-day, but l
will promise to do better the next time
II fell of my wheel and went to bed. There
isn't going to be any next time. Take my nd.
vice, old man. II a slab-sided, dyspeptic.looking
minister from Newark asks you to ride q wheel
with him, tell him you can ride; tell him that
you never saw a wheel: tell him that you think
they are immoral and that you are paralyzed in
the legs Don't go with him. did. and to-day
am all faded out. All faded out, SIR"