Mesa free press., 1898-09-30

Amateur observation-disclosures
Where have sister and George gone!
Father-I've sent them into the dark
room to develop their affections.-Ba-
zar.
Hiram-Hurry up, Mandy, an git
away from this building. Mandy
| What's your hurry, HI? Hiram (chuck-
Eng)-The fellow In the elevator forgot
to collect our fares.-Truth.
"I hear you had an action brought
agaiNst you by man who broke his
collar bone ON your doorstep. How
did the case go?" "Met the same fate
as he did," "How do you meanY
"Snpped upon appeal!-Punch.
The Woman Who Had Just Moved
In-The first thing we want to do Is to
tear down those old curtains those peo-
pie have left. Her Husband-It seems
you have no reverence for the shades
Of the departed.-Cincinnat Enquirer.
Seemed to. be some trouble at the
Bugle office this morning." "There was.
They tried to speak of Battles wife as
well known in polite circles and the
printer made it police circles Gin
cinnati Enquirer.
Hewitt That hotel clerk queered
himself last night. Jewett-How was
that? Hewitt-A lady he was calling
upon happened to say that her foot was
asleep, and he absent-mindedly asked
her what time she would have it called.
Town Topics.
ut is true, darling that play the
races, indulge in intoxicating drinks,
and sometimes swear g. little. But
shall stop it all when you accept me-"
Are you sure you CAM" 81 know it!
I've done it every time I've been en-
gagged" Life
Mrs. Fogg- mercy's sake, Daniel,
your knees, peering under that bureau?
Fogg (who has lost his collar button,
and is not in sweet frame Of mind
Looking for the Spanish fleet; what do
you suppose was looking for?-Tran-
script.
Wont they let you stop at our board
ing house any more?" asked the Circas-
sian. NO." answered the living skele-
ton; "it isn't my fault, either. The last
time l was there one Of the boarders
told the landlady 1 looked like he felt
after one of her breakfasts Detroit
Free Press.
do you remember" said Miss An
cient Oldgirl to Colonel Crabtree,
how, when you were young man, you
proposed to me and rejected your
ut is one Of the happiest recollections
of my life," said the colonel, with an
air Of gallantry. And Miss Oldgirl is
still wondering.-Puck.
'Mout hab de pOlitniss to inqwhire
wat for you hab dat razor up your
sleeve, Mr.. Johnsinv said the
"ge'man' about to shuttle the cards.
"Oh, just fought dere mout be some
occasion dis evenin', Mr.. Ferriss, to
cut de cards." said the citizen with the
red-Striped shirt-YOnkerS Statesman.
Let me kiss your Dewey lips"
urged the youth in the parlor. young
man." roared a voice from above, "the
bombardment will open as soon as L
can get downstairs" Then the hap
less youngster organized himself into
flying squadron and made fleet dis
appearance.-Detroit Free Press.
Mrs. Dreams-"John, have you
thought how you would leave me If
you should die? Don't you think you
ought to take out some life insurance."
John A. Dreams-"Life insurance?
Great Scott! Haven't l got forty
stories accepted by ay-on-publica-
ton periodicals Y'-Brooklyn Life.
Little Boy-''Mr. Blake, won't you
bend some for meY' Mr.. Blake-I
can't, my boy" Little Boy-"Aren't
you a contortionist?" Mr.. Blake
"No, child; whatever gave you that
ideaY Little Boy-"Sis said that every
time you opened your mouth you put
your foot in it."-Harlem Life.
Cutting-Tm undecided whether to
go to war or stay at home" Mrs.
Cutting ng-"Remember, If you do go,
you will have to face Spanish bullets
and possibly sudden DEATH" Cutting
Eyes; and If don't 60 I'll have to face
American biscuit and a lingering
death. Guess I'll enlist" Judge.
The New Star: Miss Birch-"Who
was first in war, first In peace, and first
In the hearts Of his countrymen" ST.
lence. Miss Birch-"Of course you
know. Now, who was itY More ST.
lence. Miss Birch-"Dear, dear. Think,
children. Come, now, it was G-George
-" Grand chorus ma'am"
| Cleveland Plain Dealer.
1t was very unkind, no doubt, but
she certainly drove him to it. They
had only been married two years, and
she persisted in throwing her money
In his face. What would you be now,"
she cried, angrily, before the servant
one morning at breakfast, 'if it had
not been for my money! "a bache-
| lorr' he reDlied.-Tid-Bit