davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Tazewell Republican. [volume] (Tazewell, Va.) 1892-1919, 1898-04-14
BELIEVED IN PHRENOLOGY.
Editor Man Has His Head Examined
and Is Proud Now.

and Is Proud Now.
We have always been firm believer
in chronology. We believe that a man S
character is determined by the bumps
on his Uranium. There has been a
great deal said pro and con about Phre-
nology. Phrenology is a science which
shows mans character by the crags
and chasms, the depressions and the
crcvices. the crevasses and the assures
in his head. 1t is claimed that by this
means it can be ascertained if your
father was ever in Jail for stealing sheep
or if any of your ancestry were hanged
and what for, and if you would be a
murderer if not too much of a coward,
and if you pay your debts, and if you
patronize home trade or send to the
city for your groceries, and if you pay
for your whisky or sponge it off your
friends.
We went to a phrenologist once. 1t
was when we were young and innocent,
before our heart had been hardened by
coming in contact with newspaper men
and learning to lie and dodge our cred
itors. Well, he ran his fingers, which
were none of the cleanest, through our
flowing locks and fingered cur bumps.
The bumps are there yet, but the flow
ing locks have departed. Before he be-
gan we asked him his price for examin-
alton. He said it depended on the size
of a mans brain. If it was a good, big,
healthy brain the charge was 81, but
where the brain was prominent by its
absence the charge would be only 25
cents. lie told us some things that
were very true. He said we were fond
OF work Now that was correct. We
always liked work so well that we al
lowed it to pile up around us just for
company. We never did any for fear we
would be without it. He also said we
were generous. True again. We never
gave our wife dime and then flung 1t
up to her, and we never took penny
out of the contribution basket at
church when it was taken up for the
benefit Of the needy.
He said ne could tell us about our an
cestry and would do so for an extra
quarter, but we refused, as the least
said about our ancestry the better for
all concerned. True, some of our an
cestry had family tree, but it was not
the kind of q tree that man would be
proud OF or, with tears, ask the wood
man to spare. We know good Wany
people whose ancestors had just that
kind of tree, but if they had their
just deserts they would be up the same
tree. There is not the least doubt in
our mind that the phrenologist is BEN
efactor to his race and fills niche in
life as we'll as the bearded woman, the
living skeleton, the fat man or the tat
tooed man.-Irwin Standard.
Tazewell Republican. [volume] (Tazewell, Va.) 1892-1919, 1898-04-14

VTiRGINlA. In the clerk s Office of the
v circuit court for Tazewell county,
March "a, 1885,
Henry Peery Vandyke, an infant who sues
by his next friend, and Guardian, j. w.
Bowen
complainant,
II. II. Lockhart, and Jennie Lockhart, his
wife, X. l.. Yost and Rebecca Yost, his
wife, Rees T. Vandyke, George NJ. Van
dyke, Arthur q. Ratlif, Willie II. Ratliff,
Chapman II. Peery, e. L. Greever,
trustee, Lena T.. Reed, Jos. A. Mcclure,
Lula Maud Mcclure, Mayo Mcclure,
Carrie +. Mcclure, Marion Mctiuire,
James w. Mcclure, John MCGUIRE and
Sarah Mcclure, the last seven of whom
are infants, defendants.
The object of this suit is to have the will
of Rees Yandyke construed, and to set
aside as clouds upon the title of the COM
plainant certain DEGREES Of the circuit
court of Tazewell county entered IN the
chancery cause of II. H. Lockhart and
wife ct ais We. Polly Vandyke and others,
directing partition of the lands Of which
Rees Yandyke died seized, and also to set
aside deed from II. H. Lockhart and wife
to Jas NJ. Mcclure and deed of r. l..
Yost and wife to Arthur G. Ratlih, and
Willie H. Ratliff,and deed from Rees Van
dyke to E. L. Greever, trustee, and to
recover the lands in the bill mentioned.
And it appearing from affidavit on file
in said office that Lena +. Reed is nom
resident of the State of Virginia, it is
ordered that she appear here within fifteen
days after due publication of this order
and do what Is necessary to protect her
interest in this suit, and that copies hereof
be posted as prescribed by law. A Copy.
Teste: II. BANE HARMAN, Clerk.
j. w. Chapman, p. g. 3-3l-5t
Tazewell Republican. [volume] (Tazewell, Va.) 1892-1919, 1898-04-14
a PUBLIC EVIL.

You very often notice. as you're riding In
the car.
There's one distressing feature all our peace
of mind 10 mar.
It's the fellow right in front of us who holds
his paper so
We're forced TO read the headlines; but
the villain seems to know
Just when we get an mixing Of thrilling
bit of news.
For he turns the paper over and thereafter
he'll refuse
To let us finish out the line. and so. with
soul distressed,
We feel like shifting him because we can
not read the rest.
There's nothing suits him better than to
tantalize our view
With some big headline till he's sure we've
caught a word or two;
But Just before were quite aware OF what
It's ali about,
lie fops the paper upside down or yanks 1t
inside out.
And every time we seek to get fact with
IN our grasp
He upsets all our purposes and leaves US
with a gasp,
Until at last we swear It. In low ana rasp-
That if we had the price we'd buy paper
of our own. .,.,u,
Nixon Waterman. in L. a. w Bulletin.
Tazewell Republican. [volume] (Tazewell, Va.) 1892-1919, 1898-04-14
CATCHING THE TRAIN.
One Case in Which There Was Some
Confusion.

Confusion.
Mrs Entertainer had guest that was
to take the nine o'clock train. So mine
hostess called up the only bus in the
village, whose function it was TO carry
mail, express and small freight.
"WRl you call at my house for the
morning train?" she asked.
The proprietor said he would. There
upon he forgot all about it, and his wife
sent him after meat for dinner Just
as he was going out of the meat market
with the pound and half of pork, his
man came rafting down the street with
the bus, mail, etc. Then it struck the
mind of The forgetful proprietor that he
had neglected to tell his driver to go
after Mrs. Entertainers guest. He
rushed into the street, hastily explained
that the driver must take the mail to
The train a-shoulder, while he turned
the bus about and went back after the
waiting passenger.
There was greatrumble and scatter
ing of dust up the street that made the
single feminine passenger inside the
coach catch hold of the seat arl scowl
in reproach that was utterly lost upon
the reckless driver without. With a
graceful, but not altogether safe turn,
he pulled up at Mrs. Entertainers,
jumped hastily to the ground, and ran
to the door. His hasty knock brought
Mrs. Entertainer to the door instanter.
where is the passenger" demand
ed the bus man, with some excitement.
"Where is she?" repeated Mrs. En-
tertaner, with surprise. "Why. your
man got her - minutes ago. There she
is now, out in the bus"
"Out in the bus? Well, I'd like to
know how she got there?"
And the nonplused proprietor began
to wonder if he had lost his mind.
eve got worried, you know" ex-
planned Mrs. Entertainer, because the
bus did not come, and called you up
again. The man came at once and got
my friend. I guess she's getting wor-
ried for fear you'll miss the train.
You'd better 60"
He went. He is now figuring on some
check system that will prevent the du-
nlication of orders for passengers.
Tazewell Republican. [volume] (Tazewell, Va.) 1892-1919, 1898-04-14
FoeaY BOTTOM PHILoLoGX.
4 Unique But Logical Definition of
the Term Parachute.

4 Unique But Logical Definition of
the Term Parachute.
"Dey's habbin' err greddeal O talk
bout dishere norf pole, remarked Miss
Miami Brown, in an effort to make con-
versation at parlor social.
"'Deed dey is" replied Mr.. Erastus
Pinkley.
81 wonduhs what keeps folks goin'
up dar."
ooh, dey likes ter keep movelin' along.
Seems like folks aim pleased Ter stay
in nc one place onless dey's benin in
de rent; an den dey hobs on like grim
def"
81 reckon a good many goes up dar
fob de sake o de game"
Nope. Dey doesn't go froo all dat
trabble ies' foh de plaisure O. goin'
huntin'," was the positive reply.
"'Scuse me, NIistuh Pinllley, but dey
does"
"How kin you tell?"
"By de news"
81 aim hyuhd O. nobody goin' dar
huntin' anything 'ceptin' trouble an ice
water"
(Which shows dat while you may hab
er greet gif' o conversationality, when
It comes right down ter perusin' you aim
so multiplicacious."
Mr.. Pinkley looked at her admiring-
ly for a moment, and then exclaimed:
"Do it?"
"Yas, sub. De way I knows dey's
gone huntin' is case one gemman dat
went in a balloon took along a para
chute"
81 reckon dat's sumpin' what I
dunno"
"'Deed, 'tisu'. You doesn' reco'nize
dc language-dat's all. Lemmc 'splain
to yer. a pair o anything is two OF
'em, ain'tit
"Sho' huff"
"You know what a shoot is, doesn'
yer?"
"Sho."
''Well, putin 'em tergevvuh, a para
chute CANT be muffin else dan double
bar'led shotgun. Washington Star.
Tazewell Republican. [volume] (Tazewell, Va.) 1892-1919, 1898-04-14
nrothers In tl,e LeslsInture.

a modern instance has. come to light
where two brothers sat in the same leg
islature in Wisconsin. In the winter of
1891. Assemblyman Louis BOSNIAN, OF
Price county, represented the extensive
district including Ashland, Price, Onei-
da. Forest and Florence countless His
brother, Assemblyman Philip Rossman,
represented Clark county. Both were
republicans. Apparently there have
been q number Of Instances in which
brothers have sat side by side in the
same legislature. Ii seems to be true,
nevertheless. that Paul ard Narcisse
". Juneau. in the legislature of 1858,
furnished the only instance in Wiscon-
sins SO years Of history Of brothers ma
tive in Milwaukee being elected to the
came Observation-Disclosures Sentinel.
Tazewell Republican. [volume] (Tazewell, Va.) 1892-1919, 1898-04-14
TIE ETIQUETTE or SOUPS
Important Points for the Careful
Rousckcepcr.

When the question of the greatest nu-
triton at the smallest physical cost
comes up for consideration, it. is just
here that The soup subject claims at
tention, its range of merits embracing
all the possibilities between a mild
stimulant (merely) and very con-
densed form of nourishment. Soup is
your table diplomat. 1t can excite the
appetite for good things to come, or
by quite satisfying all inward cravings
make diners Indifferent as to what fol-
lows.
Never make the mistake, dear house
Keeper, of serving either to your family
or guests a nourishing soup when you
have good dinner. If you do, be sure
that all that follows will fall short of
appreciation. No matter what delight
full surprises are in reserve, they will
bring you no glory; the praise accord
ed you will be perfunctory. Even at
dinner, however, there will be oppor-
tunities for serving your best soups;
but keep the secret to yourself-it will
be when the dinner itself is slim or
faulty.
Never, if you value your character as
Tazewell Republican. [volume] (Tazewell, Va.) 1892-1919, 1898-04-14
Many Trials of m EngIishmnn with
His StenoGrapher.

An Englishman who drops his his and
aspirates his as and stenographer and
typewriter who spells Theoretically from
dictation make a combination from
which trouble is sure to result unless
the "copy" is carefully revised. The
manager of one of the most important
manufacturing plants in Cleveland is
an Englishman. Not long ago he en-
ployed a young man to act as his ste
nographer, and one of the first things
that the latter was called upon to Go
was the taking down" OF a letter to the
managers wife, who was away at sum-
mer resort. Being busy man the man
ager didn't take the trouble 10 look at
the letter after it had been typewrit-
ten, but when his wife answered it
there was hot time for the stenogra-
pher. ''Nfy dear Henry" she wrote
"what on earth do you mean by calling
me Hannah and our little Horace
'Orris?' I will admit that this sounds
like you, but why do you make a joke of
it before your employees"
Of course the fond husband and
father didn't know what it all meant
and so he wrote for an explanation,
when his first letter was sent back to
him.
One glance at it and he rushed over
to his stenographer, excitedly threw
the sheet down before him and de-
manded: "There, what do you mean,
sir, by writing my wife's name down
'Annah|"
"Anna?" replied the young man; "let
me see. No, I've got it Hannah, al
right"
"But," said the manager, who was
furious, SITS not "Annah,' it's HANNAH"
"Well, there it is, Hannah-H-a-n-
nah"
"'Anna be dashed!" exclaimed the
manager. "A-n-n-a. Hannal Can't
you understand English, you BANKED
fool?"
By this time the stenographer began
to see through the trouble, so he begged
off upon the plea that having had
swelling in one Of his ears he had not
been able to hear very well. BUTT cost
him nearly weeks salary TO square
things with the other boys in the Office,
and he always deems it best to hide
when he hears the managers wife in
the hall.-CleYe1and Leader.
Tazewell Republican. [volume] (Tazewell, Va.) 1892-1919, 1898-04-14
consiIc,atc Arab Widow.

When an Arab woman is tired of wild
owhood and desires to marry again, she
goes the night before the wedding to
her husbands tomb and prsys him not
to be offended. To make quite sure OF
his forgiveness, she brings with her two
large goatskins, filled with water and
with these she waters the grave, that
the refreshing liquid may soak down
to the defunct husbands bones. IIav-
ing thus done all she can to propitiate
his spirit, she goes off with a good cour-
noe to start life again as a wife.
Tazewell Republican. [volume] (Tazewell, Va.) 1892-1919, 1898-04-14
MAoAULAY IN HIS CHAMBERS.
There Was Little III Ills appearance
to Indicate Genius.

There Wns Little III Eis Appearance
to Indicate Genius.
His chambers are comfortably fur
nished, and overflow with books. The
hall, the two sitting-rooms and the
bedroom are all walled with volumes.
On this January morning Macaulay sits
breakfasting among his books. The
room has few ornaments beyond some
fine Italian engravings, bronze statu-
cites of Voltaire and Rousseau, and on
the mantelpiece handsome Ginning
French clock given to the essayist by
his publisher, Mr.. Thomas Longman.
Macaulay is seldom without a book,
either in his hand or III his pocket, and
this morning as he breakfasts he turns
over the pages of 4 volume Of Addison
and Steele's Spectator" reading a SEN
tence or two here, glancing over old
favorite passages with a smile OF friend
y recognition, and more rarely reading
rapidly whole essay.
Presently he arises from the table
and goes to his desk. rs he crosses
the floor the shortness of his figure sud
denly becomes apparent. There is lit
tie, indeed, in Macaulay's whole appear
ance to indicate the genius and learn
ing which are enshrined within his
brain. He is short, robust and plain
looking. His head is massive and his
features are rugged and homely. When
in repose his face has little animation,
but when he talks it is lit by the emo
tons of the moment, and the deep-blue
eyes sparkle with vivacity. a solid.
robust individuality, of untiring ener-
gy and unwearying kindness and
courtesy-such is Thomas Darlington
Observation-Disclosures Journal.
Tazewell Republican. [volume] (Tazewell, Va.) 1892-1919, 1898-04-14
HUMOROUS.

speaking of the somnambulist, y
said the Cheerful Idiot, "he at least is
no idle dreamer."-Indianapolis Jour
nal.
-she-"Mr. Footelightly doesn't
lock like an actor, does he?" He-"No;
and he doesn't act like one, either."-
Tit-Bits.
Little Clarence-"Pa, is there really
fhonor among thieves?'" Mr.. Callipers
-"No, my son; thieves are just as bad
as other people. Puck.
Those new neighbors seem to be
great borrowers" Borrowers? One
night when they gave dinner they
borrowed our family lbum."-Chicago
Record.
There's a burglar in the housed"
she gasped. ~ have never yet uncov-
cred my head for any man." her hus-
band rejoined, with an a1fectation Of
hauteur.-Puck.
He Wouldn't Do. - Friend
Wouldn't you like to have me sit here
and shoot at the poets when they come
IMP" Editor-"No. You are too poor q
shoI."-Harlem Life.
Had Squared Up.-"Sir, there are
certain duties we all owe to our coun-
try" 81 don't. They soaked me for
S14 on three suits of English clothes,
and I paid it, sir; Ipaid it. ''-Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
-Judge-"Witness, you are 40 years
of age?" Female Witness-"Yes, alas!
One gets older every day. And yet L
was young once (heaving sigh. All,
your lordship would hardly believe how
young l was."-Tit-Bits.
immediate Assistance.-"Mr Grum-
py," said the chronic borrower, I'm
financially embarrassed to-day. Can
YOU help me out?" "Cheerfully." Then
Grumpy kicked his caller through two
offices and a long hallway. - Detroit
Free Press.
Attic Witt don't think that new
prima donna will do" said the boarder
who has the attic room. "She is too
much like the furnace here-at least
her voice isl GLOW is that?" asked
Mrs. Hashcroft. VERY weak in the
upper register. indianapolis Journal.
Tazewell Republican. [volume] (Tazewell, Va.) 1892-1919, 1898-04-14
All Others Descended from Officers.

Miss Wellwood-Yes, belong to the
Daughters of the Revolution, and pride
myself upon being the most distin-
pushed member of the society.
Mr.. Hargreaves-Indeed! 1 suppose
YOU trace your lineage back to some
man who was lion in his day, Ell?
"No, my neutrality-suspicious. was
only a private, but from all that can
learn he seems to have been the only
one in the whole army"
Tazewell Republican. [volume] (Tazewell, Va.) 1892-1919, 1898-04-14
school runax in colonlnl Days.

The logs for the great fireplace, fur
nished by the parents Of the scholars,
were part OF the school expenses; and
in many school when parent was
tardy in the delivery OF his winters
load of wood the child suffered by ban
ishment to the farthest and coolest cor
ner CT the schoolroom. The teachers
Pay was in any of the inconyenient and
uncertain exchanges Of the day: wam-
pun, beaver skins, Indian corn, wheat,
peas, beans or any country product
known as truck. Whale oil and fish
were paid to the teachers on Cape Cod.
1t is told Of a Salem school that one
scholar was always placed in the win
dow to study and also to hail occasional
passers-by and cndeavor to sell them
the accumulation of vegetables, ETC.,
which had been paid to the teacher
Alice Morse Earle, in Chautauquan.
Tazewell Republican. [volume] (Tazewell, Va.) 1892-1919, 1898-04-14
The Mind as Disease Produce

The Mind rs a Disease Producer.
We know that q congested liver pro-
duces gloom, perhaps leading to sui
eide. Another kind Of gloom is per-
haps due to a congested spleen. a dis
orderly heart produces apprehension Of
coming danger. Certain intestinal con-
ditions produce fear. Morbid condi-
tons of other organs mar the sense OF
strength and manhood or wonanliness.
We know also a few converse truths:
That gloom of despair may induce
iaundice; that good news will make the
heart beat vigorously; that cheerful
ness will calm and regulate its beat;
that fear and anxiety may paralyze di-
gestion.-Dr. Herbert Coryn, in Ma
tional Review.
Tazewell Republican. [volume] (Tazewell, Va.) 1892-1919, 1898-04-14
Methodist Episcopal Church South.

NPublic worship of God on the LIST and
Srd Sundays at II \. NJ, on the md and
4th at $50 p. NJ.
Meeting for prayer, Wednesday at $50,
P. NJ. Sabbath School at $50 2. NJ.
Meeting ofEpworth League each Mon
day night at 100, the third Monday
night of each month being devoted to
literary work. -
A most cordial welcome is extended to all.
Isaac Z. MARTIN, Pastor.
Tazewell Republican. [volume] (Tazewell, Va.) 1892-1919, 1898-04-14
BontiSt Church Services.

Sunday school every Sunday at $50 a.
m; preaching LIST end 4th Sundays at II a
m, and on 1st and Sd SUNDAYS at $50 p
m; B. y. p. U. every Monday a $50 p.
m; prayer meeting every Thursday at I;3O
D. m; Missionary Society ID and 4th Sun
days at / p. m. All are invited to attend
Strangers welcome. w. Z. FOSTER,
Pastor.
Tazewell Republican. [volume] (Tazewell, Va.) 1892-1919, 1898-04-14
Notice..

All persons, whomsoever, are hereby no.
tilted and warned not to ride, haul or walk
across or otherwise trespass on my prem
ises, especially those leased to John and
Cosby Bowman; for the law against all
such will be rigidly enforced.
WM. G.. w. JAEGER.
July 81, 1897.
Tazewell Republican. [volume] (Tazewell, Va.) 1892-1919, 1898-04-14
Latest Kinks In Dress Garniture.

The very newest trimming, and the
one that will lead another season, is the
narrow fringe which carries our moth
ers back to the days when our grand
mothers best gown had rows of fringe
as the fashionable trimming. The truly
fashionable woman this season looks,
indeed, a veritable princess, decked out
in real and imitation jewels for which
fashion has found so many uses. They
sparkle at every movement, from the
crown of her head to the tee of her
pointed slipper, and appear at the most
unlooked-for places in her garments.
It is, indeed, prominently season of
ieweled effects in fashionable costumes.
Light-colored velvet gowns are trimmed
with fine cut-steel or silver passemen-
terie, ribbons, chiffon, gimps, jeweled
nets and laces, with the addition of
bright flowers on the low-cut bodice.
Panels of lace and beaded effects are
also seen on the skirts of both black
and colored velvet gowns
Tazewell Republican. [volume] (Tazewell, Va.) 1892-1919, 1898-04-14
Officers.
THE CHURCHES.
STRAS MEMORIAL EPISCOPAL CHURCH.

Divine Service-First and Third SUI
days of the month at II a. m. and Sp. m
Holy Communicates Sunday at l.
a. m.
Sunday school every Sunday at 9;9C
9 m.
A hearty welcome is extended to all.
REV. w. d. BUCKNER,
Rector.
Tazewell Republican. [volume] (Tazewell, Va.) 1892-1919, 1898-04-14
EYnrVhOlY SaYG So.

Cascarets Candy Catharlic, the most won-
derful medical discovery of the age, peas
ant and refreshing to the taste, act gently
and positively on kidneys, liver and bowels
cleansing the entire system, dispel colds,
cure headache, fever, habitual constipation
and biiousness. Please buy and try Il box
of G. G. G. to-day; 10, y. 30 cents. Sold land
guaranteed 10 cure by all druggists.
Tazewell Republican. [volume] (Tazewell, Va.) 1892-1919, 1898-04-14
Gained Strength
Able to Walk a Long distance since
Taking hoods saTeparilia That
.rirnri sanIir1z Nrarcrt1,a

Taking ROOFS Sa?St22fiiia II mar
Tired Feeling Overcome.
al Twas very weak and could not gain
strength. determined to try Hoods Sar-
saparilla. After had taken few bottles
/ could get around in the house and walk
block or two. kept on taking Hoods
and now / am able to walk quite dis
lance and can do many other things about
the house, which could not do for long
time before taking Hoods Sarsaparilla.
This medicine has strengthened me Won
derfully, and done me good in many
ways" MRS. j. J. GRIMES, 219 West Cory
Street, Richmond, Virginia.
"T am subject to that tired feeling, and
hearing Hoods sarsaparilla SO often
spoken of as strengthening medicine I
purchased a bottle. It gave me relief ct
once, and I have not been troubled with
that tired feeling since 1 began its use"
WILLIAM A. BARNETT, 40 North West
Street, Alexandria, Virginia.
Hoods SaEsap agilla
Is the best-in TACT, the One True Blood Purifier.
Hoods Pills taE s sg5 oper sy a5 C.
Tazewell Republican. [volume] (Tazewell, Va.) 1892-1919, 1898-04-14
TAzEWELL GO. DIRECTORY.
Circuit Court.

Robert c. Jackson, Judge; II. Bane Har-
map, clerk. Terms of court-lst Monday
In April, 4th Monday in August and LIST
Monday in December.
Tazewell Republican. [volume] (Tazewell, Va.) 1892-1919, 1898-04-14
County Court.

J. H. Stuart, judge; T. E. George, clerk.
Terms of court-Tuesday after Sd Monday
in each month.
Tazewell Republican. [volume] (Tazewell, Va.) 1892-1919, 1898-04-14

FULTON & CoULLING, ATTORNEYS AT LAW,
Tazewell. Va. Practice in the courts of Taze-
well county. 5 NJ. B. Couling will continue his
practice in all the courts of Buchanan county. j..
II Fulton, Wytheyille, Va. S. ID B. Couling,
Tazewell, Va.
Tazewell Republican. [volume] (Tazewell, Va.) 1892-1919, 1898-04-14

nREEVER & GILLESPIE, LAWYERS, Tazewell
IVA Prao..,c. II the courts of Tazewell and adj
dining counties. Onice--Stras building. Edgar
L. Greever. Barns Gillespie.
Tazewell Republican. [volume] (Tazewell, Va.) 1892-1919, 1898-04-14

II C. ANDERSON, ATTORNEY AT LAW, Taze-
ntwel Va Will practice in the courts of Taze-
we'll county and the Court of Appeals at Wythe-
Vile Collecting a specially.