davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-10-13
For the Frivolous,

DO you expect to hear often from
your %husband?" Yes, he said he'd
write, and I made him promise to give
his letters to some other man to mail
Detroit Free Press.
"What makes you put a halo over his
head when you draw a caricature of a
politician?" That isn't a halo" re-
piled the cartoonist, that's a political
ring."-Washington Star.
First Citizen-Yes; there is news
from Madrid, but I don't believe II
Second Citizen-What is It? First Cit
izen-They say the Spanish cabinet is
organizing itself into a Don't Worry
club.-Puck.
Inside Burglar (hoarsely)-De mis-
tress NV de house is nosin' about with
a candle, Bill. Outside Burglar-Den
take de cage an let de mice loose Yer
kin pass me out de swag an 'eseane
afore she RECEIVERS frum her faint
Judge.
But what reason" asked the dis
putatious boarder. have you for aver
ring that Adam was made of a par
ticularly fine quality Of clay?" BE
cause said the Cheerful Idiot, Sub
sequent events showed that he had no
and."-Indianapolis Journal.
She-I don't see what the men find so
fascinating in that girls dress. They
are always raving over her costumes.
He-That girl at the next table? All.
yes. / see now. The bulk of the fas-
cination is not in, but out of her dress.
Standard.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-10-13
A TRUE LION STORY.

The lion is in the kraal and has
killed another ox!" A rude and some
what startling awakening, this! And
on a Sunday morning, too, as early as
l o'clock a. M! sat up in my stretch
er, and gazed towards the open door,
where my good missionary host stood,
candle in hand, and bearer Of informa-
tlon such as always gives real pleasure
TO the 'big-game' sportsman, no mat
Ter however much he may regret the
loss OF OK, horse, or donkey, which so
oIten serves as the Introductory price
70 his majesty, "felis leo."
The scene Of action was a mission
station on the borders of the Mashiko-
lumbwe country, and some sixteen
miles to the west of the Kafukwe riv-
er IN south latitude Is degrees So min
utes. was returning from a journey
OF exploration among the Mashiko-
iumbwe some four days earlier, and
nad beer tempted to s%ojourn a few days
with my friends, Messrs. Buckenham
and Baldwin, in order to do battle with
a man-eating lion which three weeks
before had taken up his quarters in the
nelghborhood, and had been living
right merrily on the natives eve since.
Mr.. Baldwin had given me a list of
this lions bag, from which it was evil
dent that the animal did not shun the
habitations of man, and was particular
~ pred1sposed in favor of the gentler
sex-a trait in his character which went
Tar to bring about his ruin.
On Jan. %, 1896, a woman was seized
n carried off from just outside the
village stockade. and was no more seen
or heard of. On the 29th the animal
visited the mission cattle kraal. His
appearance caused a general stampede
among the oxen n donkeys inside,
winch broke through the palisade and
tore of in the darkness in all direc-
IONS. On this, of course, all that was
leit Tor King Leo to do was to take his
PICK and retire with his spoil to the
enlargement of thorns at the back OF
n station, which Ito mani impenetra-
Die fastness he had chosen as his head
quarters. He selected an OK, as it hap-
pened, n decamped with the beef,
Inc 5Oth was a red-letter day in his
career. In the daytime he annexed a
sheep, a lamb, and a goat, and there
fore 1t is to be assumed he was not
suffering from hunger when light gave
place to darkness. He must thus have
been either a very keen sportsman or
an enthusiast in his devotion to the fair
sex, or he would not have paved aside
the wicker door of a native hut, walked
inside, and abducted a sleeping female
from the bosom of her family. And
yet he did. On the morrow he does not
seem to have zone abroad, but on the
following night, Feb. /, he varied his
menu with a donkey from the mission
kraal which had belonged to me some
few weeks previously. Then four days
rest, till on the 9Th he purloined a sec
ond donkey, and was no more heard of
till Sunday, the 9th, when he died by
violence. And this is how it came
about: To jump into a pair of trous-
ers and place a couple of cartridges in
to my 16-bore was only a matter of a
moment, as soon as the alarm was CIV
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-10-13
Jules Verne's Romantic Marriage.

Jules Verne's marriage was quite a
romance. He was at that time a quiet,
shy young man, with an apparent dis
like to feminine society. Being induc-
ed, much against his will, to serve as
best man to a friend, he had a fit of for
getfulness on the very morning of the
ceremony, and finally arrived at the
house to find that the whole party had
left for the church. There was no one
remaining at home but the brides sis
ter, a young widow, who had been un-
willing to intrude her weeds on the
bridal groupe. Verne fell in love at
first sight; two years later he married
the lady, and he has since proved the
kindest of stepfathers to her two
daughters.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-10-13
What Was He Thinking ore

A Fourth ward young couple got loose
from their moorings and strayed away
up into the Second. When they came
out of their trance they found them
selves nicely seated, not farther apart
than peas in a pod, on the Presbyterian
church steps, billing and cooling. There
was more cooling than billing going on.
too, for they had a 7x9 idea that the bill
ing would come more forcibly after
they had been in to see the county clerk
and minister. And so the cooling kept
getting thicker and thicker, like cream
in a churn, until all at once a sudden
lull took place, as if a meeting had Just
closed and there was no further bust
ness before the house; a stoppage in
the flow of conversation like that which
hung yer Matanzas after Sampson had
struck EN- a blow in the solar plexus.
Five minutes passed. Suddenly she
asked: "Of what are you thinking
Said he: "Oh, l don't know, maybe the
same as you were" Said she: You'd
better not try it; you'd get your face
slapped" They went home Immediate
ly.-Lapeer (Mich.) Press.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-10-13
A Doubling Thomas.

Sound" said the pedagogue, els
something that a person can hear, blu,
can neither see nor feel"
"Oh, I don't know" exclaimed the
boy at the foot of the class. II think
| can prove that you are off in you
theory"
Very we'll, Thomas" retorted the
man of learning, "go ahead and prove
it, then"
only yesterday you gave me a sound
thrashing,' said Thomas; 81 suppose
the other pupils saw it and don't you
ever think for a minute that l didn't
feel it,"
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-10-13
HOMEMADE SKIN TONES.

Tan and freckles may be removed by
the following lotion: Two drachms OF
powdered sal ammoniac, four fluid
drachms of cologne water, one quart of
distilled water. AS home remedies
both lemon juice and borax are very
eficacious for the same purpose.
After exposure to a harsh or chill
ing wind it is well before retiring to
rub a quantity of fresh cream on the
face, removing after five or ten min
utes, to be again applied, followed by a
generous putting of rice powder. Re-
move in the morning by lait virginia.
and tepid water.
For some skins which can not stand
constant washing, but needing TO be
after a walk or ride by other
means than soap and water, lait vir-
ginal is a delicious preparation, and is
made as follows: One pint OF rose, or
ange flower or elder flower water half
an ounce of the simple tincture of hen
zoln and ten drops of the tincture OF
myrrh.
Greasiness of the skin generally arises
from lack of cleanliness or debility of
the skin. Only an astringent has any
effect upon it, and a very simple and
entirely harmless one may be made
from one pint of rosewater, half a mint
of white wine vinegar and a few drops
OF the essence of rose. This lotion
should be applied with a soft liner rag
or a fine sponge.
Blackheads are difficult to get rid
OF once they appear. They are caused
by the clogging of the pores of the skin
by dust or foreign matter. Alcohol, 80
per cent, applied by means of a piece OF
chamois skin, will give tone to the
skin and remove u~nsuspected dust and
dirt, at the same time stimulating the
small glands and removing, by con.
slant use, the blackheads.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-10-13

The surgeons electric cauterizins
wire has been used by the United States
fur seal commission with much success
for branding female fur seals. A dyna-
mo, driven by a gasoline engine, sup
piled the current, which heated a plat
mum wire to incandescence. BY mov-
ing this once over the animals body
the hair and fur were virtually moved
away. A second sweeping of the wire
across the surface destroyed the cells
so hat no more fur can grow there.
This destroys the value of the pelt, and
thus operates to prevent the killing of
female seals at sea.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-10-13
A Wonderful Old Mau.

When Sir Henry Irving produced the
STORY Of Waterloo for the first time
at Bristol, he was, of course, made MP
to represent the last stage of senile de-
c%repitude. An old gentleman in a box
was much interested in the perform
ance, and kept on exclaiming in an
undertone, We'll, l had no idea that
he was as old as that" When the play
was finished he said to his companions,
very solemnly: well they talk about
the queen, and they talk about Glad
stone as wonderful old people, but look
at this man. Why, he must be older
than any of them, and here he is going
through the fatigue of acting nightly,
travelling all ove the country, and at
the top of his profession. That is
something like a grand old man." No
one liked to explain for fear of laugh
ing, and it was left for Sir Henry's
subsequent appearance in The Bells"
to remove the error.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-10-13

Banks-I see that somebody has in
vented a sail which will enable a BIZ
cycle to run before the wind at the rate
of fifteen miles an hour.
H~arper-Gee! Wouldn't that come
in handy If somebody would turn in
o and invent a contrivance of some
kind to make the wind occasionally
blow in the direction a person wants
to rider"
Generally the Case.
He married to get a home. you know
He was weary of clearinghouse
fare;
He married to get a home-but, oh.
You car seldom find him there.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-10-13

Burke long ago declared you cannot
indict a whole nation. SPANS conduct
toward her colonies, whether in the
East or West Indies, is wholly indie.
feasible, but it is neither just nor mag.
unanimous to assume that all Spanish
soldiers are of the Weyler or Polaviejs
type. Blanco and Cervera and Linares
are leaders of whom Spain may be
proud, and the stubborn defense OF
Santiago has already done much to sat.
isfy SPANS honor and Castilian pride
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-10-13

even after all this practice Black can
not be trusted to play an air before an
audience without a rehearsal before
hand. If Prof. Fills should rehearse
him on THE Last Rose of Summer"
only and the audience should demand
an encore master and pupil would be In
a quandary, for, large as Blacks reper-
toire is, he couldn't strike a note cor
rectly in any air except the one he had
rehearsed and just played.
The piano Black plays on isn't really
a piano. 1t is a system of electric
chime bells, containing enough notes to
play any ordinary tune. When Black
presses a key with his paw he really
presses a button, causing a bell to ring.
But the tune can readily be recognized,
and with the accompaniment Of the or
chestra flows prettily.-St. Louis Post
Dispatch.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-10-13
An American in Hamburg recently

An American in Hamburg recently
made the acquaintance of a retired ar
my officer, with his wife and little son.
The boy had just entered a military
school and wore a uniform. On one
occasion, writes the American, the
mother punished the boy for some mis-
behavior, when he suddenly took of
his coat, saying, You may strike me.
but you must not strike my emperor's
coat" Does the American flag receive
as loyal respect at the hands of Amer
lean schoolboys?
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-10-13

Political party loyalty has received
a setback from an unexpected quarter
Ex-Gov. Altgeld has implored the Dem.
ocrats of Illinois not to vote for a dis
honest candidate for Office ever though
ne wear the livery Of the party. The
advice applies to all parties. Dishonest
men get nominated on all sides. For
tunate indeed is the political party
whose adherents will not vote to pu,
dishonest nominees into Office.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-10-13
Artificial Indigo.

The large and well known Badenian
aniline and soda works of Ludwig's
Haven, Germany, have succeeded in
preparing a valuable and perfect sub
stitute for indigo. 1t is a product from
bituminous coal tar and is reported to
be in every regard equal to the genuine
indigo.
The Ludwig's Haven works are noted
for many new valuable preparations re-
Gently discovered, and the Importance
of these works may be gathered from
the fact that they employ in their scien-
tifc department over 100 chemists, and
have about 5000 workmen.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-10-13

The officers Of the American navy
and army justly complain that the
smoking powder they are compelled to
use clouds the work of the gunners and
makes their aim less accurate. In
view, however, Of the dashing rapidity
and deadly accuracy of the fire If
American guns which SEM Montejo's
and Cervera's squadrons to the bottom
Of the sea the Spaniards have reason
for supposing that the American navy
must be hard to please in the matter
of powder and accurate aim.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-10-13
Pointed Paragraphs.

It's a pity that some men can't even
hope to have brain fever.
More work would be done for pos
terity if it wasn't such slow pay.
A man looks once at a girls face; a
woman looks twice at her dress.
It's harder for a musician to compose
a squalling baby than a popular song.
1t is AN in~disputable fact that a tall
man lives longer than a short one.
A great many f~nanciers have their
loose change tied up in old stockings.
The value of a golden opportunity
depends upon the amount of gold there
Is in it.
When a man is in trouble he believes
a good many things that he would
doubt at any other time.
It's surprising how ignorant girls IAN
be at times. They all know what a kiss
means, but they always insist on hay
ing it repeated.-Chicago News.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-10-13
An Endless Affair,

Smith-Old Graspey invited me to
take lunch with him yesterday.
Jones-Did, Ell? suppose there was
no end to the good things you had to
eat.
Smith-Right you are. There was
neither a beginning nor an end to them,
Jones-Why, what did you have?
@Smith-Pretzels. 8.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-10-13

ton OF the plants with tobacco smoke.
An ingenious contrivance that makes
this remedy still more effective is
shown IN the illustration. AS will be
seen, it is an arrangement consisting
of a pipe bowl with a shortened stem
to which is affixed an india-rubber ball
The stem of the pipe is open at the
upper end and when the ball is squeezed
air is drawn through the bowl, which
is filled with tobacco and lighted, and
dense clouds of smoke are expelled
through the o%rifice, as shown, clearing
the plants in a short time. 1t may be
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-10-13
Kidding Plants of Insects,

The amateur horticulturist would
have a comparatively easy art to pursue
were it not for the innumerable insec,
pests which are sure to infect house
grown plants unless they are most care
fully tended. The remedies that have
been suggested for the avoidance of
these insect pests are numerous, but
none is SO effective or convenient of
application as the occasional fumiga-
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-10-13
The Super Volunteers.

- SuPOE
We've been the Roman army and we've
been the Paris mob,
We've marched with Dave Beiasco's
boys in blue;
We've fought in SHENANDOAH and
we've often had the Job
OF assisting in the Tanning of tho
Shrew."
We're battle-battered veterans of every
blessed age,
We can stand before a stage directors
damn
But we've made our last appearance
and we're going to engage
For a season on the road with Uncle
Sam.
We've rushed across from r. to L., pur-
suing empty air,
We've done some noble slaughter in
the wings;
We've fired a thousand volleys on q foe
that wasn't there.
And it seems to us we're fit for better
things.
We want to feel the fever of a realistic
fight,
And We want to storm a fort that
amt a sham;
We're sick Of being soldiers at a half a
PUNK per night,
So we're going on the road with Uncle
Sam.
And 1t isn't for the glory and 1t isn't
for the pay,
For none of us expect to be a star
But it's just the human longing for the
madness of the fray,
It's the longing to be really what we
are.
So we quit the Roman army, and we've
laid the props aside,
And the stage door shuts behind us
with a slam,
And we amt afraid of ~dying-for we've
very often died,
And we'll gladly die again fer Uncle
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-10-13
A Wonderful Woman,

Bilkins-My wife used to be rather
foolish, but she's one of the most calm
and sensible women in this town now.
Why, do you know what she did yes
terday?
Orcutt-No; what?
Bilkins-Saw a telegraph boy COM
ing across the street toward our house
and never tainted or hollered that she
knew something had happened to
mammal"
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-10-13

The var expenses of the United
States are said to be 81, 200, 900 a day.
We trust Spain when she comes to
audit the bill will be in a condition
gracefully to sign the promissory note
'for value received"
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-10-13

The spirit of earnestness called out
by the war is a good thing. Prosper
ity and the piping times of peace" are
pleasant and necessary for national
growth and advancement, but war tests
a nations fiber and indicates whether
1t has strength or the mere appearance
Of 1t.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-10-13

The several Vanderbilt families are
gradually taking up their homes in
France cut it is understood that they
are sufficiently friendly to the United
States to enable them to accept diyi-
dends declared by their railroads.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-10-13
From a Masculine Standpoint.

Mrs. Peck-This talk about an honest
man being the noblest work of God is
the rankest kind of nonsense. What's
an honest woman, I'd like to know?
Mr.. Peck-She is probably classed
among the rarest, my dear.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-10-13

Maude-I understand she married
him out of spite. Clarice-Really?
Maude-Yes, she said if no other man
would propose to her, she was bound
he should propose to no other girl
Philadelphia North American.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-10-13

Inc politicians who rail against the
merit system are generally the ones
VINO possess no merit. Rightly admin
lstered the merit system is one of the
hopes of this republic.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-10-13

Poultney Bigelow a few weeks age
was Of the opinion that Gen. Wheeler
was a back number and now Richard
Harding Davis thinks Shafter ought
to be superseded. The war will never
be satisfactorily conducted until Bige.
low and Davis are made major-gen
erals.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-10-13

Are men who mutilate the dead too
good to blow up ships in time of peace?
Let us not forget to remember the
Maine
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-10-13

1t may be a melancholy satisfaction
TO spain to reflect that one agent in
ner defensive system hasn't gone back
on her. Gen. Yellow Jack is not think
ing of surrender.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-10-13
Guessing at It.

"And so Ollie Proudft is engaged to
that Miss Newrich? l thought he used
to say he would never marry any girl
who didn't have a family tree to point
to-
Eyes, he did say SO, but the fact that
she is a peach may cover the ground,
in his estimation"
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-10-13

For ten years the one idea in respect
eI ocean travel has been speed. Here
effer more attention will be paid to
Safety.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-10-13

Ihere are a few things that money
cannot buy, but the trouble is that not
many people want them.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-10-13

when the gentleman from Hawaii
uses on the floor Of congress and is
recognized by Speaker Reed that is the
time to take the picture.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-10-13

Some folks believe that a would-be
suicide misses fire if his pistol does.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-10-13

Music should be pretty we'll inform
ed, considering the number of music
teachers we have.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-10-13

A woman's worst fault is her inclin-
alton to believe everything men tell
: her.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-10-13

All some ONE talk about is-well,
about eighteen hours daily.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-10-13
Once Not Enough.

Sympathetic Visitor-We must all die
once.
Sick Murphy-Yus; that's just what
worries me. If could dio six or seven
times, l shouldn't mind peggin' out
Just once.-Ally Sloper.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-10-13
How She Does 1t,

HOW She Does It.
When lovely woman stoops to folly
And weds a mar that's twice her age,
Divorce may ease her melancholy
And put a new star on the stage.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-10-13

Uncle Sam will never take water
while Spain has any land left.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-10-13

Lots OF lies pass for the truth simply
because no investigation is demanded.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-10-13

All ideas should be carried out, and
the bad ones should be buried.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-10-13

Tic English Language.
1t is claimed that at present the Eng
fish language is spoken by lis, OOO, 900
people.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-10-13
OUR BUDGET OF FUN.
sOMH GOOD JOKES. ORIGINAL
AND SELECTED. :

Flotsam and Jctsam from the Tide Of
Fun-Some Good Jokes and sharp
Sayings Original and Solected-Pointcd
Paragraphs.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-10-13

Fools rush in where wise men rush
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-10-13

A p~ickpocket's work is done in a mo-
nnent Of abstraction.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1898-10-13
Some NOtches Left.

Carpenter Ito new apprentice)-Have
you ground all those tools I left out for
you?
New Apprentice (holding up saw)-
Yes, all except this ere one-an' l amt
quite got all the notches out of it..