Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1898-08-08
w. c. T. u. COLUMN.
IN THE BUSREL. OR IN THE JUG.

1t happened in this way: You see,
Farmer Boggs planted some new seed
corn last spring, imported from far
distant land, and, as result, had just
gathered 1000 bushels from twenty
acres, wagon load of it had brought
to the country town, to exchange for
some neccessaries of life, before the
Mckinley bill should send prices up
He had just entered the main bust
ness street when saloonkeeper hail
corn.
| "Forty cents a bushel," said Boggs.
| "But I can get plenty of corn for
thirty" replied the dealer in liquid
goods.
"Not such corn as this" said the
farmer. ''This is new kind, grown
| from imported seed. Look at It..
Nothing like it in the state"
Gail right said the saloonkeeper
ssI will take it, as I have the best fam
lily horse in the county, and he de-
serves and shall have the very best
corn in the market. So you may
drive aronnd to my barn, and throw
the corn into the crib, and while
there, please tell Johnny hired man
to give old Faithful that's my horse)
a good feed and have him hitched
up by two O'Clock, for / want to take
my wife and children out riding this
afternoon"
Boggs unloade d the corn as direct
ed-got his pay for it, made a few
purchases, and left for home, while
John promptly at two O'Clock,
brought out old Faithful out of his
stall and hitched him to the phaeton;
but as the saloonkeeper, his wife and
two little daughters were getting. in
to the vehicle, old Faithful's eyes
flashed like fire, he reared upon his
hind feet, snorted like locomotive,
and it was all John could do to hold
him. At last when all are fairly seat
ed, John was told to let him go and
he did let him go, and down the road
he raced, wholly unmanageable. At
ly turning a corner, over went the
phaeton, smashed into splinters, and
it's occupants sent sprawling into the
street.
While the bruised and battered
family was being picked up and cared
for, crowd of men succeeded in
capt uring old Faithful. A veterinary
surgeon was called, and as he took
hold of the bit, old Faithful's breath
struck him full in the face; he smiled,
and said, There is nothing the mat
ter with the horse, only he is drunk"
Drunk on that new kind of corn!
The next day the farmer, ignorant
of what had happened, took another
load to town, he stopped at the
saloon, but the proprietor was not in.
He then drove around to his residence,
rang the bell, and the saloonkeeper,
with patch over one eye, his arm in
sling, nose bruised, hobbled to the
door, and was asked by .Boggs i f he
didn't want to buy another load of
corn
Raising crutch, he calculated,
"Come! come! do I look like [ need
any more of that kind of corn? Look
at my wife there with a broken arm!
See my darling little angels bruised
beyond recognition. See my three
hundred dollar phaeton smashed into
everlasting smithereens, and old
Faithful so Inundated and ashamed
that he can't look decent people in
the face, and then dare to ask me if [
want any more corn! Get out of
here, you villainous old clodhopper,
or I'll set my big dog on YOU"
Boggs had 1000 bus. of that kind of
corn. He had depended upon it to
lift the mortgage off his farm, but
now it seemed that all was lost.
AS last resort, ne went to law
yer, and told him his story,
The lawyer did not hesitate a mo-
ment TO inform him that the way out
was exceedingly clear and simple.
All he had to do was to take out
license. A petition was at once pre-
pared, and the farmer started out to
get signers.
He went first to the saloonkeepers,
supposing they would sign without
word. But he was mistaken.
Instead Of signing his petition, they
with one accord declared that any
man who would sell that kind Of corn
to be fed to a dumb brute, was worse
than heather.
Even the deacons refused to sign,
declaring that they could not stand