The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1898-08-31

| our engagement was announced she
met her and said: You are my daugh-
ter, dear, and l am your mother. You
have just as much right in this home,
just as much right to our love as my
own daughter has, and | want you to
begin now to call me mother. never
want the term ''in-law" to enter your
mind, much less pass your lips about
this family, and l want my son to feel
exactly the same way about your
parents and sisters and brothers. Let
this be one marriage in which no in
laws figure l was amazed and SO was
my sweetheart. but the idea took right
hold of us both. I can tell you, June
Bridegroom, Mrs. Golden Wedding
acted like the brick that she is. She
called my father and mother just what
| 1 called them, and stranger would
never have imagined that she was a
prospective daughter-in-law instead
of an own daughter. l took the cue
from her and treated her family in
the same way, or rather accepted them
on the very same terms, and | tell you
| the three families spent many happy
days together. One day, when every
| member on both sides was visiting at
our house, my wife spoke of how thank
full she had been to my mother for
bringing about such tender relation
ship.
"'How did you ever come to suggest
that we do away with the term
"in-law,'' or, better still, that we do
away with all '.in-laws," mother?' 1
asked.
".Because had such q miserable ex-
istence with your fathers folks and
he with mine, my dear she answered,
in her gentlest way. 1T was all our
fault, too, and not theirs. His fathers
family was a charming one, and I'm
sure there never was more delightful
family than my own; but your father
and l made the same mistake about our
folks-in-law at the very outset that nine
out of ten newlymarried couples make.
l wanted his family to live like mine,
think like mine, act like mine, and he
wanted my folks to be like his in every
respect. This was out of the question,
because no two families can be alike
any more than two people can be. The
result was that he was always criti-
cising my family and I his, adversely
at that. Is it any wonder that when
his people came felt at daggers' points
with them, and when mine visited us
he felt like going and committing sui
eide? When it was too late your father
and realized that we had made a
great mistake, and 1 determined to
teach my children to regard their folks
in-law as their very own folks
"And did she?" eagerly interrupted
June Bridegroom.
you bet she did," answered Mr..
Golden Wedding, with boyish enthusi-
asm. ''My wife and I made up our
minds when we left the altar that we
had not only formed an alliance with
one another, but with the family of
each other. Instead of ignoring this
fact, from the very start we attached
much Importance to it, and we deter
mined to get as much happiness out
of the society Ct our respective fam
lilies as we could. Isuppose you'll faint
when I tell you, but came to adore my
mother-in-law, and Mrs. Golden We'd
ding said she loved my mother as her
own. My sisters had been brought up
differently, but my wife overlooked
what were to her their queer ways,
and 1 paid no attention to things
which her brothers did not in accord
ance with my ideas. In short, we bore
with one another and did not criticise
AT last in fxuo tho 20
lilies were like one big family, and the
term in-law' was never heard in any
one of the three homes"
THAT beats me-" calculated June
Bridegroom.
June Bridegroom" continued Mr.
Golden Wedding, Ibid you ever think
that this unpleasant feeling you have
for your in-laws is all your bloomin'
fault? We've often spoken of what
delightful family they are at our
house. And I'm inclined to think you
need the sort of advice that my mother
gave her children along this line. Don't
misunderstood me. l don't think you
are entirely to blame. Notwithstand-
ing the professional joker and his
stock mother-in-law joke, think that
the wife is more apt to find fault with
| and pick flaws in her folks-in-law than
the husband. In fact, if you'll excuse
my candor, I've regretted a tendency on
the part of your wife to complain of
the visits from your family, just as
you are disgruntled over the coming
of hers. Take the advice of an old man
who is watching you with great inter-
est, and both of you bid farewell to
folks-in-law; Danish 'em from your
minds and hearts. Do you know folks
in-law are a bugaboo of the mind and
nothing more? The Christian Scientist
would say that they were an error
Really, folks-in-law are exactly like
other people. The mistake that young
couples make is in not accepting and re-
ceiving and treating them as such.