Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1898-01-16

iorned the Office of magistrate. at last
| net defeat at the hands Of those who
new not his merits. In that hour of
loom his spirit rose triumphant out Of
| he meshes of adversely. He resolved TO
| become a notary public. and to-day he
| serves his grateful country IN that honor
| able capacity. Blessed. Material commits
| sion! /, too, have turned to thee for
| solace. I see thy vermilion seal with
| the rampant female and the hOmuncu-
| lus couchant, and realize that am still
a public servant. What matters it that
, thou hast cost me seven pieces Of silver,
and that I have reluctantly sworn never
to fight a duel while possess thee. Thou
art mine. mine, minel The Common
wealth shall not be robbed of mel I am
still a public servant; still at least
grease-spot which lubricates the ma
chinery Of our good old government.
Every cloud has its silver lining. lie
roi est mort; vive lie roi.
Besides keeping an unceasing lookout
for the half-dollars which come to me in
my notarial capacity, l am wont to study
the movements OF those who acknowledge
their deeds and misdeeds in my presence.
Just as soon as man realizes that he has
got to take an oath and kiss the book,
ne puts his IuOulH III itdullltS9 IOA Ni'
osculatory test of his veracity. He gets
his fangs in shape very much after the
manner Of a servant preparing the sprfhg
trap for a clay-pigeon shoot, and he let's
fly at the earliest opportunity. His chief
est aim-hs one supreme Efforts TO
kiss You might ask him whether he
deserves TO be hung, and in his eagerness
to osculate he would acknowledge the
fact and reach out for the sacred volume
used as a pledge Of truth. When 1 solemn
lv and sternly ask my felow-citizens If
they can Gust for this once, anyhow
bring themselves to tell the truth, the
whole truth, and nothing but the truth,
notice, not so much a desire 10 comply
with my request, as to get through the
kissing part The little minute in which
l deliver my brief but eloquent Grafton
appears as centuries to them. They will
not look at me in that eagle eye which
sees lust how much money a man has
on his person, but always gaze at the
Book They seem to think that a mis-
take about that part of the arrangement
would be fatal, and the effort Of their
lives is put forth 20 avert the calamity.
And vet. not one in a hundred get through
the operation successfully. recently
saw an old gentleman kiss all the atmos-
phere for yards around my oilice. lie
thought / had finished my Grafton, when
7 really had ten more words, and during
that embarrassing interval he allowed his
affectionate propensities full play on the
surrounding ether.
n seems to me that some law ought
IN be passed for the purpose of saving
NV constituents the embarrassment they
undergo. Something should be done TO
shield them from the agony Of listening
N the terms Of the oath / prescribe. Some
measure should be adopted for the util-
cation of their wasted kisses.
And meanwhile, l beg that. In tender
consideration of my love Of public office,
your orator may ever be notary ana
bask in the radiance OF the Lesser Seal
Another crusade has been inaugurated |
against the innocent boys or Richmond |
This time they are charged with the mu-
tiIation OF untenanted houses and the de-
struction of unoccupied property. senle
oditors who were born wearing whskers
onS enectacles have said severe things
ana even demanded activity on the part
~ the notice. There is going to be trou-
hle Somebody's boy will doubtless find
things hot for him. Fortunately IL Is not
our how for though full OF pranks, ne
never does anything mean. IL IS the boy
noross the street.-the one who is terror
~ the neiehborhood and a public nui-
sance Though he has lived WITHIN my
yards of our boy he has never prohted
,v his example. Nothing IS TOO bad Tor
Tim Every cat in the vicinity Is MS
enemy. and he never loses an opportunity