The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1898-12-28
Amusing Experiences of Long
Ago Related by Old Timers.
KNOCKS OUT A BEGINNER
Woman Finds ths Theater a Poo Place
to Practice - Misapprehension as
to Extent OF Use OF Short
hand on Newspapers.

- 1eA1 u 49, N
s~tenographer chatting last evening
with a party of friends. Mine was
peculiarly narrowing. l a learned
the system alone and practiced stead
lily for three months. dropping in at
court rooms. attending public meet
ings. going to lectures and all hat sort
OF thing. so I felt perfectly confident l
could keep abreast of any speaker
when / got my first job. IL was from a
church committee who wanted a report
of the sermon OF "a new minister preach
ing on trial. and | was greatly pleased.
because as a rule ministers talk slowly
and are easy to follow.
We'll. l vac on hand with my little
note book and for about three minutes
everything went beautifully. Then the
parson made some reference to Ne
buchadnezzar. IN ] jumped as II ] had
been prodded with a sword bayonet.
Written out In shorthand, N~ebuchad-
nezzar is a perfect nightmare of curves
and angles. IL resembles a boa con-
strictor with the collie, and while j was
humping over IL like a bicyclist trying
to scorch on Canal street pavement, the
minister was ambling along through an
entirely different train of thought. 1t
seemed to me that II was an hour be-
fore / got a chance To slip In again and
catch the drift OF his discourse. l had
Jotted down perhaps 40 words and
was begi1ning to breathe easier when
he said:
This teaches us, lear friends. as II
taught Nebuchadnezzar. that
Il groaned. When I got the con-
founded name down the second time |
was completely at sea. / had no idea
hat the nan was talking about, but
! dashed blindly into the middle of a
sentence just in time to get a third Ne
buchadnezzar straight between the
eyes. After that I was like n groggy
puGilist In a prize fight, trying desper-
ately TO stay for so many rounds and
getting knocked down every six sec
onds. | know the simile Is inelegant.
but IL fits the case like a glove. ] have
an indistinct recollection of a series of
wild scrambles in which I would loun-
der through four or five lines, when
biff! would come another Nebuchad-
nezZar and over l would go. When |
recovered my reason they were singing
the doXology.
MY report was a holy terror-liter-
ally. My notes were an incoherent
tumble without the faintest approach
to sanity. To say nothing Of connection.
and all through the wreck of sentences
those hideous Nebuchadnezzars stuck
up like telegraph poles on the scene of
a railroad collision. / managed to
patch up something that bore about
the same weird resemblance to the
discourse that a r~blue-nosed baboon
bears to an educated gentleman and
handed II In. The committee promptly
disallowed my bill. They said they had
hired me to report a rmo no to
write an original essay on Nebuchad-
n%ezzar."
we all have had odd experiences 1T
the start on" said a lady stenograph-
er I'm the group. 'and one OF my first
Adventures xEag NnrN nnFipla II npP1IF-
red here In New Orleans in the winter
of 1892. ! had learned the principles cf
shorthand thoroughly at a commercial
college, but I needed practice to get up
speed and / worried my folks half to
death making them read to me-like
David Copperfeld. you remember. Still,
reading wasn't exactly the thing: what
I wanted vas dialogue. everyday
speech. such as people use naturally
and ordinarily.
FINALLY, IL occurred to me that the
theater would be the very place for
such practice and that very night !
slipped of to the oper house. where a
new English society drama happened to
be on the bills. Ny idea was to hold
my note book in my lap so as TO at
tract no disagreeable attention, but I
got so interested | suppose ] forgot to
take care. In the middle OF the second
act a big dark man tapped me on the
shoulder. He said grufiy he wanted to
see me outside and In my bewllderment
! followed him to the foyer. Then saw
he was boiling over with anger.
Who hired your nc said abruptly.
'Nobdy.' | replied. ready to cry.
"'Oh. here. now he said. none of
that. I'm not after you; I'm after the
folks that sent you here, and II you
want to avoid serious trouble. you'll
give me their names at once
But there was nobody I l ewailed:
I was just practicing.' and with that |
blurted out the whole story. He must
have known instinctively that I was
telling the truth. for he looked relieved
and then foolish. Then he explained to
me very politely that new plays are
often plratcd by people who send Ste
nographers to steal the text. which. Is
afterward used without paying ROYALTY
To the author. He had supposed. of
course. that | was there for that pur-
pose. and offered me many apologies.
At the same time he begged me 10 take
no more notes during the performance.
and | assured him J wouldn't. I have
never put pencil to PAPER in a theater
since"
Another shorthand reporter who
dropped in while the talk was going on
told a queer story about the destruc-
ton OF a court record. II used To do a
ttNt 80 VI "a y Nv EaAas A1
assistant to the regular corps. and a
couple of years ago ! was engaged 10
take the testimony In a case involving
some big lumber interests. The evil
dence was very important and full OF
minute technical details. There val
not a great deal of a.. however. and
the notes occupied only one book.
When the hearing was over" con.
tinued the reporter. "a proposition e
compromise was made. and ! was mott.
fed not to translate my work until fur,
Their orders. So 7 laid the note book az
the table In my room and thought M
more about IL until one day II fen or
the floor and the stupid negro servan.
threw IL in the crate on some burninl
rash. I CHANGED along just i'm Inn,
to see II blazing. and when | got 4
out the bottom half was reduced {,
clnder.
The paper was. luckily. pretty thick
and the mass was unhroken. II wa.
simply a bunch OF black. crumple,
sheets. looking like iron and a hundred
,fpnaa mora hrff41a than r1aG1 $40