The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1898-12-22
SforyeffeS.

ed aims OF nor anu she ItluScu YOU.
Eyes, yer honor"
'And then you threatened her life?"
"Oh no. / didn't do that
"You seized your bludgeon with
both hands and said Madam, you must
die You did that, didn't you?"
Yes. but [ didn't threaten ner life.
| said that she must die. And so she
must some time or other. We all must
die some day. | didn't say whan she
must die. l think great deal about
death and all that, and"
six months"
Smith and Jones were talking one
day about their business interests.
Smith was a hotel man and Jones was
a manufacturers agent.
81 say" said Jones, "however do you
use such an enormous quantity Of
pears and peaches?"
"WeII," replied Smith, we eat what
we can, and what we can't, we can"
Indeed" said the other, eve do
about the same in our business"
''How's that"
1--WE sell an order when we can sell
it. and when we can't sell it we cancel
it."
When Admiral Sampson was leu
tenant in command of small sailing
vessel, he worked on kind of ane-
mometer, or wind gauge. Finally 1T
was complete, and one day it stood on
the roof of the cabin, which protruded
for some distance above the deck. The
little boat was rocking idly to and fro
in calm. Lieutenant Sampson was
below enjoying siesta. Suddenly a
gustof wind rippled the water. The
mainsail boom swung violently across
the deck. Smash! and over into the
fathomless deep went the precious an
emometer.
Orderly" called the officer of the
deck.
Eyes sir" replied the blue Jacket sa-
luting.
Inform the commander of the ship
that his thermometer has gone over
board"
eyes, sir"
The orderly made for the cabin COM
panion way.
"And orderly"
Eyes SIR"
-'Break it to him gently"
Sometimes the desire on the part of
a newly welded pair to conceal he fact
of their being bride and bridegroom,
takes unexpected turns. On an ocean
steamship not long ago, the stewardess
asked bride if she wanted some de-
tail about her stateroom changed. 81
can't tell you just now," answered the
bride. "Fll see what the gentleman
who is occupying the stateroom with
me has to say about it."-New York
Sun.
~ es,' said the young doctor sadly,
<'she remembered me in her will all
right"
"For how much?"
Not cent"
L thought she told you right along
that you would be handsomely recon-
pensed?'
"She did. 1t appears that she had
me down in clause for half her fortune
if | kept her alive until she was 70,
and let her die at g."
"Dear, dearp' Why didn't you keep
her alive?"
Il didn't know about the clause
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Scandinavian, when first i'm
ported, has great deal of respect for
the "bOss,' and is always anxious to do
his work thoroughly and to give no
offence. Something of this trait is
shown in the following story about an
Ole who secured "yob" as porter in
wholesale house in Chicago. One day
while at work he was seen to make a
slip and fall down the elevator shaft
couple stories. The foreman immedi-
ately sent several men down the stairs
to the assistance of the unfortunate
man. Before reaching the bottom,
however, they met Ole coming limping
up trying to stanch the blood from
several severe Commissions. Before they
had a chance to ask about his injuries
Ole anxiously inquired "Vas de boss
madt?"
xO
One day, when Sir Walter and Lady
Scott were roaming about their estate,
they SAW some nlaYful lambs in a