Owingsville outlook. [volume] (Owingsville, Ky.) 1879-192?, 1898-10-20
DOOley on Indians.
tChicago Evening JournaLI

"Gin'ral Sherman was wan iv tn
smartest men We liver had" said
Mr.. Dooley. HE said so NANNY
bright things. Twas him said;
War is HE'LL an that's wan iv tn
finest sayin's 1 know anything
about. War is hell tits a thrue
wurrud an fine sintiment.' An
Central Sherman says: 9Th only
good Indyun is a dead Indyun.'
An that's good sayin', too. So,
be tn powers, we've started in
again to improve tn race, an IL We
can get in Gatlin' guns enough be-
fure tn winther's SHOWS we'll TURN
thin Chippeways into a cimitry
branch iv tn Young Mems Christ
yam Association. We will 90.
Eye see, Hinnissy, tn Indyun is
bound f'r to give way to tn onward
march iv white civilization. You
an me, Hinnissy, is tn white civ
ilization. 1 come along an I find
OF Snakes in His Caters livin'
quite an dacint in a new frame
house. Thinks l It's a shame fr
to lave this savage man in posses
sion iv this fine abode, an him not
able FIR to vote an without a frind
on tn polls force So says IL
Snakes says. get along says l.
Il want yer house an ye best mover
out west iv tn thracks an dig a
hole FIR ye'erself,' / says. .Divvle
tn fut will step out iv this house,
says Snakes. Il built it an I have
tn law on me side,' he says. FIR
why should i take Mary Ann and
Terence an Honoria, an Robert.
Immitt Snakes an all me litt
Snakes an rustic out West
thracks,' he says. far frir thu
Nv me ancestors, he says,
yond tn waterpipe extinsin,
says. Because says i, 4 am III
walkin' delegate iv white civiliza-
tion,' / says. Pm jist as civilized
as YOU says Snakes. Il wear pants
he says, AN plug hat he says.
'Ye might wear tin pairs says i,
AN all at wanst,' 1 says, an ys'd
still be a savage, says i, AN I'd be
civilized l says, if 1 hadn't on so
much as a bangle bracelet,'I says.
so get OUT says 1, 'fr tn pianny
movers is outside r-ready to 60 to
wurruk,' says.
"Well, Snakes he fires stove lid
at me an I go down to tn polls
station an says L: Loot / says,
'they'se a drunken Indyun mos
voting up near tn mills an he's
carryin' on outrageous an he won't
let me hang me pitchers on his
wall, says 1. Vile savage, says tn
loot. I'll tache him to \pyspics
tn rules iv civilization he saJs.l
An he takes out a wagon load an
goes afther Snakes. Well, me frip
Snakes gives him battle, an knof
in tn premises well he's able to D
up GREAT fight, but afther awhr
they rip him away an have him
tn pathrol wagon with a man
tin on his head. An thin he's
under bonds to keep tn peace, an
they sind him out west iv tn
thraeks an 1 move into tn house
an tear out tn front an start
faro bank. Seme day whin / get,
tired or III Swedes dhrive me 20
or Schwartzmeister makes his
lunch too sthrong FIR competition,
I'll go aither Snakes again. 1Apo,
"Th' only hope FIR III Indyu
to put his house on rollers an
a team hitched to it, an whin he
sees white man to start f'r TIL
settin' sun. He's rooned when he
has cellar. He ought to put all
tn plugged dollars that he gets
from tn agent an be pickin' blue
berries into rowiin' stock. II he
knew anything about balloons he'd
have a chanst, but We white men,
Hinnissy, has all tn balloons. But,
any how, he's doomed. as Hogan
says. Tn onward march iv civil
ization with morgedges an other
modern Improvements is slowly bus
surely, as Hogan saws, chasin' him
out, an tn Last iv !hir'll be livin''
in a divin' bell Somewhere out in
tn Pacific Ocean.
"well," said Mr.. Hennessy, the
stout philanthropist, IL thins 80;
an thin again, 1 dinnaw. 1 don's
think We threat thin Fright. III
was tn Government I'd take what
they got, but I'd say: "Here, take
this tin dollar bill an go out an
dhrink ye-ersilf to DEATH I'd cay.
They ought to have some show"
"Well," said Mr.. Dooley, "if ye
feel that way ye ought to 20 an
inlist as an Indyun."