The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1898-01-25
a TELEpAoNE STORY.
Why Homer Ordered the Instrument
ltei Taken Out of His House "a, 81

5 Taken Out Of His House.
as this 10000" demanded Mr.. ]. Hor-
ners ot Plety Hill, where all unusual
things happen that don't find good loca-
tion elsewhere.
Yes" replied . mild telephone voice,
this Is !, 900 What can We ID oryou?n
You may yank this 49, telephone
out OF my house just as soon as you
Mr.. Horner filled IN The blank space
With an expression entirely foreign TO
Pietys Hits vocabulary.
gl"All right sir,R was the mild reply.
"l'll tell the mana GER
Why, II thought you were telling me
two weeks ago that the telephone was
the greatest invention OF the century,"
remarked Mrs. Horncr's mother, who
was blr. Horner's mother-in.iaw.
u didn't tell you any such thing. I
told you that wcll-managed telephone
exchange might be made a3medium for
human comfort and convenience second
only TO the feather bed: but I am not
responsible for any such utteranccs as
you putin my mouth"
WHY, James" interposed his wife,
l.
very handy for me to order groceries,
Besides, can caH up Mrs. Screamer any
time OF day now. We can't get along
without it, ~
Frances, this Is once that / shall in
slst. That telephone must be removed.
So. there, make the best OF it." 1855
And Mr.. Horner ran his fingers
through his hair and told his nfother-in-
law about It, In manner that made her
feel responsible for all the misadyen-
lures Of the phone.
You women sit around the house all
day. az: p M ~
Possibly you don't recall that our.
morning dcvotions were disturbed the
other day by that same ring. an
swered 1t. only to hear some one call me
1 blatherskite. He thought he WINS
talking to Lawyer Johns. Il 'sassed.
him back; and now my own brother
won't speak to me. -
Maybe You women have forgotten.
that the furnace fire went out Friday
morning. I haven't. was down on.
my knees blowing like a bellows trying
TO infuse life Into one remaining, spark,
when that crazy phone went wrong
again. 1t was ,Johnson's pet baby try.
Ing TO use the thing! Johnson thought
1t was funny. Let the homcly kid ring
the bell and call up my number: Then,
he had the nerve to ask me IL didn't
think the brat was cunning.
stf....So, DON'T was the reply he got.
He has about as much sense as his dad
Utterly lost my self control. And now
johnson not only won't speak, but de-
clafcs to my attorney that heSwill fore
close on our mortgage. So IL we are
turned out, you women may lay II to
the telephone, Do you underestimate
Mrs. Horuer's mother twisted around
In her easy chair and distinctly in,l-
mated that she comprchended every
thing Horner said,
Now, 10 conclude" went on Horner,
once more running his fingers through
his hair, tduring the Two weeks we've
had This phone I've been compelled to
deny accusations, OF being a meat mer-
chant, an opera house. a skating rink, n
drug store. an omnibus line. the weather
bureau, and once some fool asked. mo
IL l was not an undertaken This Is the
conclusion OF the whole telephone mat
ter 81 K
Mr.. Horner started for the door. He
stopped to ask: 2i. 70.
do you underestimate
Again Mrs. Horncr's mother said she
dld.-Detroit Free Press.