Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-11-10
HUMOR OF THE DAY.


you. Did hep" Flora (ambguously)
--"Not much. boston Transcript.
Boy - "Papa, where's Atoms?''
Papa--"Athens, you mean, my child"
Boy-"No, papa-Atoms, the place
where people are blown to-"
Minnie-"At any rate, Mr.. Shore
is every inch gentleman. Mamie
'"That's why it is such pity there is
not more of him. Indianapolis Jour-
nal.
Mr.. Rich-''You ask my daughter
in marriage-er-what may your in
come be?" NJ. Stoney Broke-'T
will leave that entirely to you, STRIP
Tid-Bits.
Maud-"When I get engaged I
don't intend to have any mystery about
it" Marie-"I don't see how you can
help it, dear. Every one will regard
it as a mystery. Brooklyn Life.
A Trunkful: "Did your sweetheart
write to you while you were away?"
"Write to me? 1 had to give away
my clothes so could bring her letters
home with me. Chicago Record.
Irate Parent-"Tellt that young Soft
leigh that he must cease his visits
here, forbid him the house" Daugh-
ter-"But, papa, he doesn't want the
house; it's me that he's after. Chi.
cago News.
Professor-"Too bad One of my
pupils to whom / have given two
courses of instructicL in the cultlva-
tion of the memory has forgotten to
pay me; aud the worst of it is can't
remember his name!"
Peasant-"Five dollars for entering
this estate" Tourist-"But why is
no warning sign put up, them" Peas
ant-"We had one, but took it down
again, for while it was up no one came
in. "-Fliegende Blaetter.
Fuddy-"Kwiverful, they say, is
married again. That is his fourth
wife" Duddy-"Kwiverful'd better
be careful. He'll get caught some
day. He'll marry q woman who will
live. Boston Transcript.
"You are the first one L ever heard
mention Bradley's literary ability"
swell, I never heard of him writing
any books, but know he can borrow
more of them than any other man I
know. w."-Cincinnati Enquirer.
The fat man in the pink blazer rose
at once. "Please take my seat!" he
urged. The slender girl who carried
her lunch in o music-roll was alto
gether overcome. ''This is too much!'
she protested. ed.-Detroit Journal.
"Does it make any difference to you
which berth you take?" mot bit,
Ferguson. Just as lief have the lower.
There is nothing upperish about me.
[ don't mind being climbed over.
Well, good night. Chicago Tribune.
"Why," he asked, when they were
quite alone, edo women always cry at
weddings?" The look of whitening
disdain she gave him gradually soft
ened. because" size finally an
swered, not unkindly. Detroit Jour.
nal.
Professor of Chemistry-"If any
thing should so wrong in this expert
ment We and the laboratory with us
might be Blown sky-high. Step up
closer, gentlemen, SO that yoa may be
better able to follow. Stockholms
Dagblad.
"My Brain is on fire, tragically ex.
claimed Mrs. Bobkins, as she threw
herself down upon the sofa. "Why
don't you blow it out?" absent mind.
edly replied Bobkins, deeply absorbed
in the evening newspaper. And then
he lodged flying hair-brush.
Riding in an omnibus up Regent
street last evening I heard an old lady
annoying the other passengers by her
remarks. The conductor demonstrated
with her, saying, "Ma'am, remember
you are in public vehicle, and be.
have as such. London Spectator.
Little Ediie-"Your nose looks
Just the same as it always did," Mr..
Sparkleigh-"Of course. Why should.
MT it?" Little Eddie-''I heard
mamma say, when Mr.. Wilkins came
to see sister May night before last,
that your nose was out of joint. -
Chicago News.