The united opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1881-1970, 1898-01-07
staircase, determined to annihiIate the

was i'll the dining room pocketing the
spoons. So, while Wash trod noiselessly
frontward, Simpson stepped stoalthily
to the rear Midway in the hall they
came into collision. Each felt perfectly
certain that the other was the burglar
Wash grappled with his antagonist
instantly. Simpson knew that death
struggle had begun, so he took hold
with all his might Neither had a
chance to draw his weapons
Wash strove to throw his burglar
down, and Simpson, perceiving the
game, made huge effort to prostratq
Wash. They pushed and pulled and
Jerked and slowed and painted, humping
up against tie wall, kicking up the car
pet and making such hubbub that Mrs.
Simpson, up stairs in her room and
afraid to come out, lifted up her voice
and screamed with awful vehemence.
After "a fearful and desperate strug-
gle, during which Wash had his coat
torn to rags and couple of handfuls Of
hair pulled out and Simpson had his
nOse damned against a chair until it
felt as if it had swelled to the size of a
watermelon, Wash let go a moment tc
get his breath
Thereupon Simpson made a rush for
the front stairs quietly in the dark, and
Wash, pretty we'll scared and tired Of
war, dashed off up the back stairs, re.
solved to 90 and see why simpson didn' t
come down and help wipe the burglar
out.
AS Simpson got to the landing he saw
Wash s form by the dim light from the
bathroom in the back entry
"Who's that?'' shouted Simpson,
norvously feeling for his revolver.
"Me-Wash," replied the brother
in-law
Simpson went up to him and said:
Thunder and lightning, Wash /!
Why didn' you come down sooner"
"Sooner! Why, where've you been?
I've had the most awful time you ever
heard Of "
"So've l., replied Simpson. "There's
a burglar in the house, and I've been
tearing him to pieces. -
"You don't say so? Why, my gra-
cious, I've had fight with one, too, and
l think | laid him outl"
"You did? Whereof
"Why, down stairs there, in the front
entry"
"Not in the entry, you don't mean?"
eyes" said Wash, sin the entry
Nearly banged the head off of him.
Where was your MANI"
"Why, in the entry too Queer I
didn hear you. 3"
cit, is queer" replied Wash, "be.
cause | hammered his nose against a
chair until it must be mashed fiat. "
"WhOse nose?"
"The burglars And he tore my coat
to rags and pretty nearly scalped me. -
"Who diG?"
'The burglar. "
Simpson was silent a minute and
then he said:
Come here to the light. -
They entered the bathroom, and Wash
looked at Simpson and Simpson looked
at Wash.
"Wash - said Simpson.
"What?" said Wash.
"Wash, you're the biggest idiot il
the state Hang me if l don't believe
you've been lighting with me! Look at
my nosen
"No You don't say? Did you pull
out your burglar hair and splinter up
his coat?'
q am afraid 1 did, " said Simpson.
"Mr Simpson, said Wash calmly,
"if there is bigger ass ON the cont.
nent than | am, | think l can lay my
hand on the mana party by the name .
of Jim Simpson. "
Just at this juncture Mrs Simpson
flew from her room down the hallway
and into the bathroom, where she fell
on her knees and clasped her hands and
shrieked:
"Save me, James! Oh, save me,
save mel Don't let me be
murdered Don't! Don t, oh, don'tr'
Simpson looked sheepishly at Wash
then, without saying word, he seized
Mrs. Simpson by the arm, ran her over