Omaha daily bee., 1898-10-02
THE ONION IN MATRIMONY.
Eject of Strong OdOrs on Domestic
H0nniuess.

Eject of Strong OdOrs on Domestic
Happiness.
There is now pending in the courts OF
West Virginia a case which vividly illus
trates the inherent tyranny of husbands.
1t unfolds distressing narrative of do
mestic infelcity and family dscord which,
from small beginnings, have now eliminated
in a suit for divorce. The plaintiff, whom
1t Is unnecessary here to name. has applied
for an absolute separation and bases his
appeal upon the sole ground that his wife
persists in eating onicns in open dis
obedience to his positive orders!
The plaintiff in his application states that
he has repeatedly warned the defendant
against partaking Of onions in any form;
that she has promised time and again to
reform, only to plunge into still deeper eX-
Cesses whenever she could afford to buy an
other peck Of the fragrant tubers and
that finally, upon going home a few days
ago and discovering from the texture of the
atmosphere in the front parlor that she had
indulged in another wild orgy Of onion feast
ing, he left the house in desperation and
despair. Wherefore, the petitioner respect
fully represents to the honorable court that
his peace and happiness have been destroyed
and that he is entitled to a decree of abso-
Lutte divorce, and for this he will ever pray,
etc.
Now, while there is no present desire to
idealize the American onion or to insist
that its pervasive assertiveness Is wholly
beyond criticism, we must be permitted to
doubt whether 1t constitutes valid ground
for divorce, says the New York Mail and
Express. 1t has its uses as well as its
abuses. Its functions in the domestic
economy are varied and well defined; its
accents, uttered in an undertone, lend zest
and charm to innumerable masterpieces Of
culinary art, and in the tenderness Of its
youth it possesses, even in its raw condi-
tion, a certain pungency which delights a
healthy palate. 1t Is doubtless an acquired
taste with most persons just as musk Is,
for instance, and there are times when 1t
clings and fingers longer than 1t ought, but
It is straightforward, natural and unaffected.
All onions smell alike to the well ordered
nostril. When one catches the aroma OF
this modest tuber he always knows just
what it is. There is no deception, no vague
ness about it. 1t has the virtues Of frank
ness, constancy and courageous individuality
to a degree not surpassed even by the boiled
| cabbage, which ever and anon fills the halls
OF the city apartment house with its osten-
| tatious fragrance.
Aside from its demonstrable merits, how
ever, it is to be kept in mind that the onion
Is a perfectly legal institution There Is
nothing in the constitution which forblds
| persons from eating It, The Revised
| Statutes nowhere prohibit its use, and there
is no state, with the possible exception OF
| West Virginia, where the marriage law
requires the wife to love, honor and obey
| and abstain from munching onions. The
| ground upon which the plaintiff in the
above mentioned case bases his application
| for divorce seems to be unsound and dis
| tinctly lacking in strength, The wife's obli-
| cation to obey can hardly be construed TO
| include the husbands orders as to her diet.
| She has a right to eat what she pleases,
even to the extent Of garlic, II she insists,
and II the husband abandons her on any
such pretext she can bring an action for
| deserton.
The plaintiffs case is absurd He is a
| petty tyrant. 1t is quite possible that he
uses offensive perfumes; 1t may be that he
| chews tobacco or smokes rank pipe of the
vintage of 1875, and 1t is not impossible
| that he is an amateur performer on the cor
net Any OF those pernicious habits is ten
| fold more heinous than eating onions, yet
| the probabilities are that his wife would
| scorn TO seek divorce on any such grounds
| The West Virginians suit is not only base
| attack upon personal liberty, but an insult
also to one OF the noblest products OF the
vegetable kingdom, whose health giving
| qualities and aromatic vigor assert them
selves from time to time in every household
| The case will undoubtedly be dismissed with
costs on the plaintiff. and the chances are
| that he will be in bad odor with his neigh
bors for a long while TO come.