The age-herald., 1898-01-05
The Increasing Indifference
 Of Society Men to Obligations

WnO are invited To SOCIAL luncliois HfSA in Atlanta. where the men are peculiarly punctillious, the matter was gently toucn- ed upon in a recent edition of the Consti- tuition, and public attention was naturally attracted to the growing indifference of many of the beaux as to wh ther the young ladies invited are carried to the balls and parties not.
 At one of the late entertainments of the famous Capital City club-the Bal Poudre- it is said that among the unmarried set, the preponderance of young men over young women was surprising and could on- ly be explained by the fact that large number of society men are only interested in getting themselves to the balls and CO., tillions and are indifferent to the obliga- tions imposed upon them by the usages or good society.
 There have been few evening functions given in Birmingham where the men out numbered the women, two, three or four to one.
 When a host and hostess put themselves to the trouble and expense to entertan their friends, they are due many things in return; certainy something besides the bare presence of guest in the home. Guests have duties as positive and binding as those of the host or hostess, and very few men or women are sufficiently fascinating as lay figures to repay the entertainer for giving them an opportunity to adorn their walls and chairs.
 Reciprocity should be the keynote of so- cety; each individual should contribute something towards the pleasure and suc- cess of an entertainment, or stay at home, where they do not have an opportunity to offend the proprietes of life
 Very few young men are handsome enough or well dressed enough to contribute to the pleasures of a ball or cotillion by simply permitting the other guests to gaze upon their manly beauty. And surely few young beaux are willing to carry their .sbest girls" at much expense to an enter tainment and allow these lay figures to monopoliZe them.
 Perhaps the girls are somewhat respon- sible for the present condition of affairs in various southern cities. In certain commit mites it has grown 10 be expensive an undertaking to carry girl to an evening function that young men, with moderate incomes, cannot afford the luxury. What with carriages, bouquets. etc, man gener- ally feels very much limited financially, after he takes his sweetheart to a cotil- Hon.
 Unfortunately few girls have demoral- ized society in many parts of the south by estimating their escorts according to the amount they spend on carriages, flow CTS, etc., for an evenings entertainment.
 In Atlanta, one of the seasons debutantes "a great belle-always uses her own car riage, and never permits her escort to hire one for her. Perhaps this fact accounts In a measure for her wonderful popularity. Anyway, she is sweet, sensible girl and is doing the eminently proper thing.
 No Southern girl should be willing to have a man spend from five to ten dollars upon her everytime he invites her to social function A man always has such profound regard for a sensible girl who objects to becoming financial burden to her friends.
 turning over of a new leaf at the be- ginning of the year in Birmingham, Atlanta and other southern towns, would be very much to the credit of both young girls and young men.
 Apropos of this matter, the following extracts from letter written by bright young woman will be of interest, as it tells many wholesome truths:
 .'There's no use talking about it, we girls
  can. And it is spelling the world for our selves, too It is agreed that women are treated better in America than anywhere else in the world. And so we are, l sup pose That is, we have more freedom, more influence and a broader horizon in educa- tion, pleasure, business.
 "But for all that we are losing the chiv- alrous consideration and little polite re- spects of good society which were once ac- corded us without a murmur Perhaps it is the very advancement of women in other directions which makes men jealous of our progress and inclined to withhold the homage to our womanhood which they have hitherto bestowed without fear of losing caste just as many woud-be aris- tocrats patronize people whom they con sider socially far beneath them that there is no possibility of mistaking their -condescension, when they would not dare encourage those who are only little less fortunate than themselves
 s'Of course this is nonsense. We are none the less womanly, none the less deserving of honor and devotion, be cause we have "grown up'' at last from the estate of children and dependents. But it is our own fault if we allow this new attitude on the part of the men; if we submit to their social vagaries, and careless foregoing of once inevitable politeness in little things.
 "Women hold the key to society etiquette. It is true that women, as a rule, care more for society than do men, but as the latter are indispensable to most society functions we have to put up With more or less fndif- ference on their part and try to make things doubly pleasant for them in order to induce them to come at all. Few men care to dance just for the pure pleasure of the exercise, as so many girls do. Witness the jolly manless balls given in the cloistered girls schools and colleges. Men must be coaxed to dance, suppose, by the added inducement of punch and supper But even then half of them are selfish enough not to do their duty by the poor girls who are dy- ing to take advantage of the tantalizing music, and would be only too glad to get up and dance with one another if conven- tion only permitted.
 Convention ought to permit. Everyone would be happier, for the men could stay away if they liked The average man does not dance to well anyway. Even while dancing with a man who is full of his con- descension to her, in her secret soul many O girl remembers with longing the firm, 1.-the touch and even step of her girl part ners who guided so well at her college hops.
 only the men co,1ld ba y,,ode fo faal