The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1898-12-12
A VIRTUOUs AMERICAN DINNER.
| Anti-ExpansiOn Club Eats an AtI1in-
son Seven-Cent Dinner.
New York Sun.

Scene, a somewhat severe dining room in Bos-
ing Of Mr.. Edward Atkinson, Prof. Charles Eliot
Norton, the Hon. Carl schurz. Col. W. j. Bryan
and Mr. Godkin. The club has just been dining
out of series of little tin and earthen pots pro-
cured by Mr.. Atkinson in Germany. 1t is D.
m. rather late for the conclusion of a Boston
dinner The cloth has been removed. exposing
the table Coffee made inexpensivelv of bread
crusts has just been served. and the company
stirring 1t and snufting at the peculiar aroma
with a manner Intended to REPRESENT satisfaction
Faneu Hall and the Old South Church appear
with the utmost dignity through the window
Under the compelling infuegee Of Mr. Atkinson
Professor Norton Quoting Hamlet" and
laying his hand on his stomach)I cannot
say how heavy all is with me here.
Mr.. Atkinson (reproachfully)-It was one
of the very best of my 7-cent dinners. Real
ly, l cannot see that YOU are quite justified
in a feeling of the kind, ,r
Professor Norton-My dear friend and col
league in the contemplation Of the larger
political ideas, | am now speaking of terri
torial expansion, of Imperialism.
Mr.. Godkin-The threatening monster, the
minotaur the juggernaut of the hour. Oliver
Goldsmith with few exceptions the most
sagaciOus political mind that ever inhabited
Pump court, warned US Of 1t in an inspired
passage of surprising eloquence.
Professor Norton-Mr. Mckinney
Mr.. Godkin Gnterrupting)-Mr. Mckinley
and his tribe are fools The density of their
ignorance surpasses the constitution of this
crockery.
Mr.. Atkinson (bridling)-Thick crockery
attention to the subject 20 be the best We
hicle for a dinner costing cents.
Colonel Bryan--A marvellous price, making
it possible to procure sixteen of them for
what many a spendthrlft rashly pays for
one.
Mr. Godlzin with q sneer, aside)-Shll
MIR. Atkinson Cleaning at the coloneD-L
consider that what you have just said is
very beautiful. 1t pleases me ineXpressibly
to hear such sentiments regarding my dim
neTs.
Professor Norton--Your dinners are a
credit to the Republic.
Mr.. Atkinson-Thank you. In Cadiz, in
Spain, it would be possible to provide a
meal like this for one-siXtieth of a peseta.
This estimation is founded on the most care
Mr.. Godkin-I wish that Mckinley were in
Cadiz and had to eat 1t. (The company
cough.)
joy)-Really, l.
MIR. Godkin-It's all right Atkinson. You
know what | mean | respect you as q
statistican, and have just eaten one of
your dinners.
Mr. Atkinson--I hope 20 show you present
" my new table of statistics. l consider it
my masterpiece / have been engaged upon
it for thirty-six years.
Colonel Bryan Qaying his hand on his
stomach as Prof. Norton had dOne)-You
shall not press these thorns.
Mr.. Atkinson--I wish you would not lay
your hand on your stomach when you say
these things.
Colonel Bryan-Everybody has got his
hand on his stomach.
Mr.. Atkinson dhoughtfully. looking about
the table)-That is true; l wonder why.
Mr.. Godkin-Its tribute unconscious and
sincere, and for that reason fiattering. (Enter
head waiIer)
Head Waiter Cto Mr.. Atkinson)-Your man
is outside with something that he could
hardly get through the door:
Mr.. Atknson-My table of statistics. Let
him come in. (Enter man, staggering under
a load that should have been Entrusted to
nothing less than a mule. He sets it on the
fT, .,V71 HtscD hos lob nrin iG
observed to fall upon Faneuil Hall and the
Old South Church The floor creaks.)
NANNY back is broke.
Mr.. AtknSOn-NeVer mind your back. 1t
Prof NortonEA massive creation!
Mr.. SchurZ-A monument!
Mr.. Godkin-Where are you going to keep
it, Atkinson?
Mr.. Atknson-I have proposed to the
Boston Art Commission to have 1T set up in
some public square.
Colonel Bryan-An ornament 70 the city!
Mr. Atkinson do not know whether they
will acquesce. They evinced curious cold
ness when / spoke to them about it.
Mr. Godhn-Boston is not large place.
Professor Norton-It is larger than Bed
loes island, which contains the Bartholdl
Mr.. Atkinson (to man)--You may take it
away now (The man at the risk or his life
shoulders it and takes ii away)
Mr.. Godkin-Atkinson. we are all very un-
happy. 1t isn't your dinner; its imperial
ism. Imperialism appears to have won the
Mr. Atkinson-I am glad.
Professor Norton-Glad?
Mr.. Atknson-Glad it isn't my dinner.
Mr.. Schurz-If the company would like |
will play for a little while The Heart
Bowed Down by Weight of Woe" on the
piano.
Mr. Godkin-I wouldn't if I We're YOU,
SchurZ. No use rubbing it in. Besides, /
must catch the 4 o clock train back: That
will enable me to meet the Evening Post at
Hartford Thank gracious, all is not lost.
at this moment great crash Is heard out out
breathless.)
Head Waiter-The Man has fallen down
and broke the Table of Statistics.
Mr. Atllinsop-Horror! Gle staggers from
the ROOM and all the others, except the
Head Waiter, follow him.
Head Waiter recovering himself and call
ing TO his assistants without)-Hurry up,
now! Clear away! The Back Bay Society
to Prevent the Wind from Blowing Around
Cape Horn is TO have late supper here at
6 and it's 4 now Hurry up! Clear away!
This is Boston. and We we got TO look alive.
(Curtainl
vcse finest upright pianos at wulschners.