davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-03-03

geese! Having completed his survey,
to my uncle's horror and chagrin, he
waddled slowly up the middle aisle, fol
lowed by the rest.
Was ever a young man in more
painfully embarrassing situation? At
this moment he received tug on his
coat tails and plainly heard the par
TALLY suppressed amusement of his
friend and the whispered exclamation
They've come!"
My uncle grew redder and hotter as
the geese approached in front and the
tugs on mis- coat tails continued behind.
lie could only stutter and stammer,
each moment becoming more painfully
aware of the awkwardness of his posi-
ton.
At last with the timely assistance of
the congregation, the unwelcome in
truders were expelled amid quackings.
confusion and uproar.
1t Is almost unnecessary to add that
the fount of my uncle's eloquence was
choked for the time being, and con e.
quently his exposition on the education
oi tne young was mot as edlfylng IS it
might have been under ordinary cir
cumstances.
This did not end the matter, how
ever. My uncle's friend for many
years after, at every dinner when he
was called upon for speech, managed
10 recount this incident. If my uncle
was there it only added to the general
enjoyment.
firing of this in the course of years.
Uncle Charles once arose, after his
friend had related the story, and said:
There was one point to which suffi-
cient attention had not been called.
namely, why had the geese understood
so perfectly all that his friend had
said?'-Cincinnati Commercial Trib-
Tine.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-03-03
FASHIONS FROM PARIS.

The Russian blouse an outdoor gar.
ment is very much worn, but not in fur
as the fashion will be too evanescent for
that.
Black and white is perfect rage and
is very expensive, as white chiffon and
satin bodices soil most easily, espe.
cially as they are worn under jackets
and cloaks.
The skirts are worn so very long, bot h
before and behind, that they are now
carried over the arm, displaying to
great advantage magnificent silk pet
ticoats.
White gloves are still very fashiona.
bic, but they are not so universal as last
season. With gray costumes gray gloves
are worn and with green gowns tan
gloves are seen.
With black dresses brocade petticoats
laden with lace are the latest mode.
The streets of Paris are so much cleaner
than ours that all this silken luxuriance
is possible.
The hair in Paris is now worn quite
smoothly brushed up at the back, like
the ugly fashion of 25 years ago. 1t
is not quite SO bare, us the storm col
lars reach above the ears. The dress
collars, too, are enormously high, and
are frequently finished with plated
bow in front,
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-03-03
FUNNYGRAPHS.

Say. guv'nor, can't ye use a good,
live man in your business?" mo, /
can't. I'm an ndertaker."-Truth.
"She says that since she married she
has been through everything" "Yes.
Her husband says the same thing
Life.
Choi.y Addlepate-"Aw, doctah,
have weceotly been afflicted with fear
ful headaches" Doctor-"I see. Some
of those aching voids we read about"
Chicago News.
Teacher Gin geography class) )-"John-
nie, how is the earth divided?" Johnnie
trho reads the foreign ncws)-"Don't
know; | haven't read the papers this
morning."-Chicago News.
Mr.. Snowman" said an inquiring in
dividual at the menagerie, "can the
leopard change his spots?" Eyes, SIR"
replied the individual who stirs up the
wild beasts; "whcn he is tired of one
spot he goes to another."-Tit-B Bits,
Equal to the Observation-Disclosures
have most valuable work to sell.
madam: it tells you how to do any
thing" Lady (sarcastically)--"Does it
tel you how to get rid of u fostering
peddler?" Peddler (promptly)-"Oh.
yes, nadsm-buy something OF him."
-Tit-Gits.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-03-03
A MALLEE HEN MOUND.

ular, with radius of equal measure
ment. Many of these nests have meas
! ured as much as so yards, or $50 feet,
around their base. That would give the
largest one measured a diameter of
| about so feet. These nound-nests are
entered through a sort of funnel cavity
at the top of the cone.
The hens of all the building and re-
pairing pairs lay in this immense nest.
| The eggs are deposited about six feet
below the surface. While each hen lays
her egg in the family mound, no hen
drops her egg closer than 20 inches to
that of her neighbor. These eggs are
deposited in cavity made for it where
in it is placed in vertical position.
carefully covered and the surface as
carefully smoothed over by the hen be-
fore she quits the nest. Contrary to
the usual practice of the bird and fowl
species, these malice hens lay al night
instead of in the day. Several days
elapse also between the dropping of
two eggs by the same hen.
The eggs of the malice hen are out
of all proportion 10 her size. They are
as large as those of a goose, and OF
large hens are very much larger.
The eggs thus laid and covered in this
great sand oven in the hot districts
are never again disturbed by the hens.
The eggs are hatched by the heat the
sun bakes into the soil where they lay.
1t has never been known how the young
chicks are eXcavated from their egg
grave, for the eggs are deposited fully
six feet below the surface, and the
hardening rains do not aid their exit
very much.
The hen is so very shy and vigilant
hat no one is able to study her ma
ternal and domestic habits with salts
faction. AS she lays her egg at night
and transacts most OF her affairs in
the night watch so that no naturalist
or curious individual can ferret her
out, possibly she steals TO her expected
brood under cover of night also and
gives them the parental unearthing
which they must surely need after the
piping of the eggshell.
Bush naturalists have been curious
IL know how this peculiar fowl builds
that nest. The birds have been seen
working at it and the mounds have
been inspected, but the piling of the
dirt is not from the immediate vicinity.
for that is nndisturbed. Small sprigs
and the like enter into the plastic ma
sonry, which stands storms and heavy
rains. when they do fall, without Sc
rious injury.
These huge cones stand for years, to
be annually nested in by the same flock
which originally constructed the fam
lily incubator. When detected the hens
emit pitiful little caclile and futte~
away like wounded innocent. The
young of covey either root under the
sand or hide behind some mound or OBJ
iect of a friendly co'or.-Chicago Inter
Ocean.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-03-03

A justice Of the peace in Indiana had
very exalted opinion of the respon-
sibility which rested upon him to COM
mand respect for the law at all times.
There was neighbor of this justice
named Jim Waller, whose farm ran
right up to the line of Ohio, fence
marking the exact division. One day,
when the justice was passing down the
road, he observed Waller and his Ohio
neighbor engaged in an argument. The
justice approached them, arriving on
the scene just as they clinched. Spring
ing upon the fence so as to be out of
harms way, ne waved his cane in the
air and shouted: Gentlemen, in the
name of the state of Indiana, l com
mand peace" just at that moment the
fence gave way and the justice was
precipitated to the ground. He fell on
the Ohio side and as he was struggling
to get up he shouted to Waller: Give
it to him hot, jim; I'm out of my juris.
diction!"
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-03-03
INTELLIGENT GEESE.



1t must have been in the '40's that
my great uncle, Charles N, was
graduated from college and began 10
teach school. Communication was not
so rapid then as now, and the exchange
Of ideas was accomplished with more
difficulty. The country was not over
run with teachers manuals and guides,
ard there were few educational works.
It was only by gathering together and
exchanging ideas that teachers were
able to progress. To facilitate this
several would in the summer time travel
from place to place, holding what were
called institutes" to which all who
taught in the neighborng country
would flock to receive or disseminate
new ideas, and to discuss methods of
study.
My uncle and friend of his had
started on a tour of this kind. and on
Saturday arrived at town where they
were to hold an "institute" the follow
ing Monday.
Sunday afternoon they took a stroll
in the outskirts of the town, en- the
banks of stream, and were engaged
in deep conversation when my uucle's
friend espied flock of geese approach
ing in solemn procession. Moved by
Il sudden impulse, he took off his hat.
made low bow and. addressing the
geese. said: ALLOW me to introduce to
you my friend, Mr.. N, who will hold
an institute in this town tomorrow. /
cordially invite you to be present" The
geese appeared TO listen attentively to
the young mans words. and when he
had finished they waddled gravely
away.
The incident passed quickly from
their minds, the next afternoon arrived
and the friends repaired to the church
where they were to eXpound their edu-
cational views to those who were as
sembled for instruction and profit. The
day was beautiful and sunshiny, and
everything beamed propitiously on my
uncle as he arose from his seat behind
the pulpit to address the dignified
gathering.
Hardly had he opened his mouth to
speak when something in the wide
opened door attracted his attention.
There stood the old gander, the leader
Of the flock they had seen the day be-
fore, and behind him were all the
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-03-03

Indiana children are becoming very
precocious, if Benson Eggers, of North
Salem, is fair example, says an eX-
change. He is only II years old, yet he
has already been married three times,
been divorced once, has another divorce
suit pending against him, and is in a
fair way to be prosecuted for bigamy
In 1895 Eggers was married to a woman
named Brown, who lived with him six
months and then got divorce on
grounds of cruelty. Two months later
he was married to a 1j-year-old girl
who, after living with him two weeks,
also left him because of cruelty. \
short time ago she began proceedings
for divorce, but in the meantime Eggers
had married Ethel May Harris, aged 16,
representing to her that his second wife
was dead.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-03-03
Association OF Ideas.

John" said loving wife. Il wish
you would sing two or three lines of a
song for me-"
What on earth do you want me to do
that for?"
"There is something ! want you to
bring home, and I've forgotten what ii
is, but | think I'll remember il If you
sing"
The good-natured husband complied.
and the charming wife said:
81 remember now. It's a file want"
Odds and Ends.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-03-03
FREELAND, PA, MARCH 3, 1898,
Not the same Jefferson.

a rather amusing story is told at the
expense Of a young woman who was a
visitor at the capitol in Washington the
other day. She was with a party of
friends, and they were being piloted
through the big building on the hill by
one Of the official guides. They were
strolling through Statuary hall, and
this is the conversation which is alleged
to have taken place between the young
lady, who is just out of her teens, and
the guide: Here" said the guide, sis
perhaps the most perfect statue of JEFF
ferson in the world" Are you GER
tain that is Jefferson?" inquired the
young bud. "Yes; that's jefferson"
was the reply. "My. how he has
changed since I saw him." exclaimed
the visitor. "Since you saw him" ejac-
ulated the astonished guide. "Why,
yes; I saw him last winter in Rip Var
Wrinkle, and he didn't look bit like
this" The guide felt embarrassed, and
the silence which prevailed for mo-
ment was gently broken by the girl,
who in low voice inquired: when
did he die?" The guide and the bal
ance Of the party had moved on, and
the young lady's last question was not
answered.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-03-03
THIS, THAT AND THE OTHER.

The Ceylon yellow silk spider has
body that weighs nine ounces.
1t is noted that the women Of the royal
families of Europe are, on the average
much stronger, mentally and physical.
ly, than the men.
Old sailors say that not one man in
10000 would have had presence of mind
enough to beat against the wind in
such case with no compass aboard.
A recently opened guano cave in Geor-
gia was found to be inhabited by great
swarms of white flies. having yellow
legs and pale pink eyes.
If the armies of Europe should march
at an eight-mile gait, five abreast, Is
inches apart, it would require 91s days
for them to pass given point.
The safest course if caught in a thun-
lerstorm is to allow ones self to be-
come thoroughly soaked. The chances
of safety from lightning are ten to one
in favor of the wet person.
There is to be a new electric light
house placed on Fire island that will
have the estimated power of 45,oOo,O0O
candles, making it the most powerful
artificial light in the world.
The first book printed in the limits
Of the United States was the "Bay
Psalms book" which was issued in
Cambridge, Mass, in 1910. Specimens
Of this publication are extremely rare
and command very high prices.
The first bank within the limits of the
United States was chartered in Philadel-
phia in 1881. 1t was incorporated by
congress under the title "The Presi-
dent, Directors and Company of the
Bank OF North America"
II the inhabitants of the fixed stars
had powerful enough telescopes to see
us, they would not see US as we are to-
day, but as we were so, 100 years, or
even longer ago, for it would take light
that long to travel to them.
Mathematical calculations show that
an iron ship weighs 81 per cent. less
than wooden one, and will carry liz
ons OF cargo for every 100 tons carried
by a wooden ship of the same dimen-
sions. and both loaded to the same
draught of water.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-03-03

Doting Mother-l do not know what
we are going to make Of little Rodney.
He declared to-day that when he grows
up be is going to be robber and des-
poll people of their hard-earned gold.
Shrewd Father-Hmi III take the
little rascal downtown in the morning
and apprentice him to Skinner, the real
estate dealer.-N. Y World.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-03-03
BUSY MAlLEE HENS.
They Build Nests Fully a. Large as
City Lot.

The malice hen of Australia lays It's
eggs in huge nest. The nest is really
an artificial mound of gigantic proper
tions TO- the size of its maker and the
purpose it is to serve. This artificial
mound is cooperative incubator. 1t is
built by many pairs of birds, male and
female working alike to construct it,.
These same pairs or fiocks of birds an
nually repair and enlarge the queer
looking cone, which rises up like tur-
ret dome from the level prare.
Sometimes these tunnels attain a
height of fully Is feet in the perpendic-
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-03-03
Opened His Eyes.

Wife--As it was three a. m. when you
crawled home. John, l suppose you'd
like an eye-opener before going to
work?
Husband-To tell you the truth. I
would.
Wife-1 thought so; here's the bill for
hat | bought yesterday-only s33.4o.
-Cp-to-Date.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-03-03

"Women must find it hardship some
times not to be able to swear"
20, l don't know. They have their
own ways. When they want to be par
ticularly nasty about another woman
they say she means WELL and it really
comes to the Same hing."-Pick-Me-
Up.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-03-03

Mrs. Manycooks (severely)-Didn't 1
hear man talking loudly with you in
the kitchen just now, Mary?
Mary (complacently)-Oi hope so,
mann, for thin oi can call yez as wit
ness in case av braich av promise suit,
mam.-Brooklyn Eagle.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-03-03

81 never do anything by halves" re-
marked the man who was hurrying
along the street.
That's all right, mister" replied Me-
andering Mike, who had just overtaken
him; "a quarter or rs cent II do."-
Washington Star.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-03-03

Helen-Why. Angelica, dear! you sur
prise me. Just look at those feathers
in your hat! | thought you belonged
to the bird protective association?
Angelica-I do; am charter mem
ber. | wouldn't wear whole bird on
my hat-not for the world, poor little
thingsl These are only wings.-Judge
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-03-03

Timmins-I have never been able to
make up my mind whether am a
genius or not.
Simmons--lt is easily tested. Just
act like hog when you are in society,
and if you are genius people will adj
mire you for it.--lndianapolis Journal.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-03-03
Shows Her Strength,

"There are "a muscles used in car
rying on an ordisary conversation"
she said, looking up from the book she
was reading.
"And yet woman is supposed to be a
weak creature" he said, thoughtfully.
And then he dodged.-Chlcago Post.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-03-03

she-This gas bill is simply extor-
ton.
The Collertor--Yes' m When shall I
call ?-Town Topics.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-03-03
Tnking No Chnnces.

Vfsitor-I don't see how you can al
low your son to firt so outrageously
with that pretty servant girl.
Hostcss-Sh-h! Her father is in the
Klondike, and next summer she may
be richer than any of us.-N. Y. Jour
nal.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-03-03

"How is your wife getting ou?'
she's improving slowly. She is not
well enough to attend to her house
hold duties yet, but yesterday she was
out shopping g."-Tt-Bits.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-03-03

"An eye for an eye. and a tooth for
TOOTH
Thus says the Good Book. but wonder.
forsooth,
Just how 1t would work If I started to pay
My dentist his bill in that Scriptural way.
N. Y. Evening journal.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-03-03

He-My wife tries to make he best of
everything.
She--0h. lid she marry you TO reform
you?"-YoLkers Statesman.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-03-03

1t Is unquestionably the tendency OF
the times in this particular decade of
the Victorian era to strengthen, in
every possible way, the position of
women, and one may look long and
vainly nowadays for that tame ac.
quiescence in destiny which was such
a marked characteristic of the gentler
sex when the century was younger
The fact is that women no longer look
10 marriage as the sole end and aim of
existence, but are bestirring themselves
with will to map out careers which
shall afford an outlet for their energies,
and at the same time secure them n
niche In the busy world, where they
may earn living for themselves, and
perhaps help those dear to them.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-03-03

Together the lovers cast their lot.
And were Joined in holy wedlock;
But it was a failure, so they got
A divorce to break the deadlock.
Chicago Daily News
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1898-03-03

Every one of the United States
battle ships and cruisers is short
handed. Yet the enlisted force of the
navy has been recruited to it's full
legal strength, and the navy depart
1nent cannot add another man without
the authority Of congress. Secretary
Long has asked for authority to en-
list 1000 men to meet existing emcr-
gencies. In the army conditions are
similar. New fortifications have been
built, and there are not men to man
them. 1t is said to be certain that two
artillery regiments will be added to the
army by congress this winter.
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1898-10-28
A Brilliant Wedding.

st. Andrews Cathedral was
crowded last evening, when Rev.
Alex. Macintosh tied the knot
which united VIM. Il. Wright and
Miss Healthie X. Gandall in holy
Wedlock.
The church was beautifully decor
ated for the occasion, and the sur
pliced choir of the young Hawaiians
under the direction OF DR.. Taylor,
the organist in attendance. Messrs'
George Smithies, Lionel Hart, Carl
Widemann and j. S. Low, received
the invited guests at the entrance OF
the church. The bride who looked
very beautiful in her rich bridal
robe was given away by her father,
Mr.. john Gandall of Kauai. Mr..
Edmund Stiles was best man and
Miss Maud Aud was bridesmaid.
After the ceremony reception
was held at the residence of Mr.. and
Mrs. III. G. Morton, the grounds Of
which were illuminated with Chinese
lanterns.
Mr.. and Mrs Wright will spend
their honeymoon at the Peninsula.
The INDEPENDENT extends to the
young couple the best wishes for a
very happy future and all possible
success on their matrimonial voyage
through life.
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1898-10-28
90 RRESPoNDENCE
America

In the Bulletin OF last evening ap'
pears the following:
The Colonel spoke OF great pow
WOW the newspaper had been making
over the affairs OF the garrison, and
suggested that the Government con-
troll the utterance OF the press.
If this is true, ask you what are
we? Are we "Americans?" Do we
belong to the Land of Liberty the
land where every man has the right
to freely utter his thoughts, or are
we in an effete Republic in the last
throes of dissolution as is now the
French nation2 should judge
that we are not Americans if the
two commanders of the U. S. troops
here are "Americans" for where
breathes TRUE AMERICAN who would
seek to muzzle the press for taking
a fearless step against uncleanliness
and iu the interest Of the health Of
the community atlarge.
Our present officials should at
once lay before the Government of
the United Statss-our Government
"a full statement of the outrsges
on deceucy, property and truth tha
are being perpetrated by and under
the sanction OF the commanders Of
our armies. Is it the unusual glitter
brown and blue denim uniform
which causes the new made Colonel
Of Volunteers to become SO big and
lordly that he wants censorship
exercised over the press. Methinks,
if he so much iancies the blue and
brown that his open disregard of
| the law of meun and team, as shown
in the Hollinger matter, would
justify him in being the possessor of
one of our own Hawaiian uniforms
OF his favorite colors and material.
And the brigader has he not cover.
1
ed himself most gloriously with a
mantle the reverse OF the one George
Washington was said to wear.
How could a mau dare to tell
Judge Wilcox that he uttered an un
truth in saying that this King had
whitew ashed the two drunken lieu
tenants when his own report to his
Superior, the father of one OF the
culprits, was decidedly clumsy
travesty on truth. May | ask him
how long it took him to dress after
Captain Taussig had aroused him
and before his staff-ofiicer returned
Is this the american army" that
we are so fond or If it is the
"army" had better muzzle the entire
press of the country and prevent
auy comment on the Dreyfus case
and Major Esterhazy in PARTICULAR
for comparisons are odious, you
know. AN AMERICAN.
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1898-10-28
For That Tired Feeling.

That steals over you as the days
work is over, there's nothing else
80 good as refreshing glass OF
RAINIER BEER. tits the tonic you
need beats all the medicine you can
take, brings on sound refreshing and
healthy sleep aud makes one feel like
a new person. On tap or in bottles
at the Criterion Saloon. Phone 1888.
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1898-10-28

The repor, of the President of the
Board OF Health, made to that body
at yesterdays meeting, is but one
side Of the story Of his encounter
with the military at the Park. 1t
would obviously be mistake to
pass judgment upon the sole state.
ment of the President of the Board
OF Health, not that we question that
officials veracity, for with all his
faults OF manner and speech and his
marked readiness to apologize for
offense only too frequently given,
we have always relied upon his hon
esty of statement.
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1898-10-28
MEETING NOTICE.
MEETING NOTICE.

rTNHE ANNUAL MEETING OF THE
i Olowalu Company will take place at
the Office OF its Agents. on MONDAY, the
3lst instant, at II o'clock AK
w. NJ. GIFFARD,
Secretary.
Honolulu, Oct 26, 1898. l03l-4t