The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1898-05-07

country.
Perkins Ito Jenklns)-I heard this
morning that Barlow has been arrest
ed. What has he donei jenkins
Everybody.
Miss Ethel-I wonder II that gentle
man can hear me when | singi Maid
OF course he can. He Is closing the
window already.-Tit-Blts.
what do you think Of woman's
rights?' 81 think" replied the shoe
clerk, that they ought to match wom-
ans lefts.'-Chicago Post.
PatIence-what is the cheapestlook-
ing thing you ever saw about a bargain
counter? Patricia husband waiting
for his wife.-Yonkers Statesman.
Magistrate-The evidence shows that
you threw a stone at the man. Mrs.
McDun-An' 1t shows more than that,
yer honor. 1t shows that l hit him.
Mabel-You should see the French
Count who is dancing attendance upon
me. susie-Ah. a French dancing mas
ter. dear?-Phlladelph.a North Ameri-
can.
Charles Bragg-Yes. Miss Brightly.
II costs me ten thousand dollars a year
TO live. Miss Blightly-Oh, Mr.. Bragg,
do you think It's worth it?-Boston
Traveller.
Ledgerby-It does seem good to see
old Daybuke back at his desk after his
long illness. Bilfle-You bet 1t does
| was afraid 1t was arother case of 81
all round for a floral tribute.-Chicago
Journal.
II have a doctors certificate here
that | cannot slng tonight" said the
prima donna. "WhatT' roared the
manager; "Ill give you a certificate
thai you never could slng."-Detroit
Free Press.
Mrs. Wabash-Mrs. Lakeside Is 60
ing to celebrate his golden wedding
next week. Mrs. Manhattan-You don't
say sol Mrs. Wabash-Yes; she will
then have been married fifty times
Town Topics.
E~thel-Isn't II strange that Flossie
attracts such intellectual men? Maud
Oh, no; she told me she always planned
her gowns when they talk to her, and
that gives her face that interested ex-
pression.-Harper's Bazaar.
do you really mean to stand by
what you say about retiring from pub
lie lifei" inquired the intimate friend
Just before an election. How do |
know responded the politician; I'm
no prophet. "-Washington Star.
Miss Thlrtysmlth tmeaningly)-An
italian proverb says that "honest men
marry soon," and Jack Swift (sol-
emnly)-I can not conceal II any long
cr; l live In deadly fear of being at any
moment arrested for embezzlement.-
Puck.
II don't know which Is worse" NUT
tered young Blunderheads at the swell
reception, r%etreating to a corne and
wlping his perspiring brow; but be-
lieve | would rather be III v by a
train than TO step on onef"-Chicago
Tribune.
"Dld you ever go into a dark room,
where you couldn't see any one, and
yet something seemed to tell you there
was some one thereY' asked the spiritu-
allstic medium. "oh. yes!" replied the
man; II used to have that experience
often, in my counting days."-Yonkers
Statesman.
BluDderly docking at female por-
traiu-Great graclousl What a hideous
face. Where did you find that sitteri
Artist lcoldlyD-That, sir, is a portrait
Of my sister. Blunderly-I beg your
pardon. My mistake, I'm sure. After
all, | ought to have noticed the family
resemblance.-Tit-Bits
Magistrate-You were drunk. OF
course, when the hold-up men went
through you? Battered-up prisoner-l
was, your honor. Magistrate-They got
everything you had, l suppose? Batter
ed-up prIsoner-Everything. your hon
or, except a two-dollar bill | had In my
watch pocket. Magistrate-rhe fine
Will be two dollars. Call the next casel
Chicago Tribune.
~ do so enjoy being at sea, away out
Of sight of land" said the lngenue. at
IL romantic" assented the soubrette. Il
hadn't thought of that. But when |
look all around and see the horizon al
the same distance everywhere, there
comes over me a delightful sensation OF
occupying the center Of the stage
indianapolis Journal.
First shade-What alls that hump.
shouldered fellow that just arrived last
week. l rarely see him at his seat late
~. Second shade-He claims to have
been a bicycle crank while OF earth;
but what that may have been I know
not. AT any rate, he has constructed
A very peculiar machine with a couple
Of old halos.-Puck.
"Of course, sir, ] need scarcely say,
In giving you my daughter. that l ex.
pect her to be surrounded with all the
Injuries to which she has been accus
toned" Certainly, sir. II | had any
preference for a nome OF our own, |
would feel constrained to yield it. Your
wish, sir, is law with me."-Detrolt
Journal.
Jack Fiarce-It was a great surprise
TO me to learn that you had invitet
your neIghbors, the Flatpurses, to oGs
wedding. Jessica-Ah, but l ascertain
ed that they were In such u~nquestioR
ably straitened circumstances that
they wouldn't come. That means they
won't have money to get us a wedding
present, and we VIII have a legitimate
provocatIon for cutting them after