davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1898-10-08
Ep11HETs IN AN ARGUMENT.

Copyright. 1888. BY n. Quad
He had been looking at a dictionary
In book store for long hour, wher
the proprietor came forward and kind.
" said:
You seem to have trouble in finding
what you want. Can l be Of any a.
sistance to your"
NO, / don't find what ! want" re
piled the other. as he removed his spec
tacles and passed his hand over ths
few remaining hairs on his pate. "Ihii
morning, during an argument. my op
ponent characterized me as 'parsf
monious bilberry.' / am not exactly
clear as to what he meant"
"Parsimonious means mean ant
stingy," explained the book store man
.and bilberry is corruption Of blue
berry or whor.leberry. We generally
pronounce it 'huckleberry,' yor
know"
Then the idea was to call me
mean and stingy old huckieberry, wa:
it?"
.I-I should say it was"
"Um! During the same argument
the same person referred to me as
.carbunculated bigot.' have fair
idea Of the meaning, but am not sure
What would you say was meantY'
.Why, carbunculated must refer tt
carbuncles. You know what car
buncle is-something ten times worst
than q boil. A bigot-well, OF course
you know that"
.And it was an expression Of de
rision and contempt?" asked the mar
with the spectacles.
| 1T was probably meant for that"
.There is another. As the argument
grew more heated my opponent re.
| ferred to me az a cantankerous imbe-
| cile and a senile prevaricator.s J
didn't pay much attention at the time
but l have concl-.ded that they were
expressions OF conte npt. How woulc
| you explain them?
.Well," said the book store mar
without losing his smile, i.'the wort
'cantankerous' signifies petulaney, OBJ
stinacy, disputatiousness, etc. A can.
tankerous man is always ready to dis
pute and quarrel. An imbeciie is Z
fool. you know"
.And the rest?"
".Senile' means old-pertainihg tt
OLD age-and prevaricator is one who
lies. Instead Of calling you o liar
your opponent used . smoother ex.
preston"
.But the idea was to call me IN agec
liar?"
Il think It was. Politics leads te
heated discussions, and for that rea
son / never have anything to say or
that subject"
There was no politics about this.
said the man. rs he got up and pock
eted his glasses. 'She asked me fol
| five dollars at the breakfast table, and
| asked her what she wanted to d.
with it, and that started the row."
.She-she- stammered the
book store man.
"Exactly-my second wife, yor
know. Yes. sir; she called me all those
things and 'multitudinous old repro
bate besides. and thought I'd droE
in here and see just exactly what she
meant. IL you had time"
.But. please excuse me. = I'm very
busy"
..Of course. Well, never mind. Sh.
meant 10 hurt my feelings rs much a
she could, and I'll take it that way
and not hand over a shilling until she
has begged my ardon and beer dead
i hr.ke fnr ! month"
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1898-10-08
sEAs1cK PEOPLE.
soue of the Odd whlms That Seise
Upon Travellers ON Ocean
Steamers,

The captain cf = big liner says that
he SHOULD consider himself rich man
il he had as many sovereigns as there
were cures for sea sickness. Every
person who sails with him knows just
how to act when the ''go-round-and-
round sort of feeling" begins to assert
itself, and there are SO many certain
remedies that NAL de mer ought long
ago to have lost its terrors.
During a very rough trip across the
Atlantic a well-dressed gentleman sat
down in the center of the wave-washed
deck, produced q photograph and
stared hard at it for hours. Passcn-
gers who were in a condition to notice
his strange conduct thought he was
gazing upon the face of his best girl,
and winked knowingly at one another;
but their surmise was an erroneous
one. The photograph was really rep
resentation of the gentleman's worst
enemy, and he firmly believed that. ii
he glared ut it long enough, the bitter
thoughts aroused in his mind by the
sight of it would ward of sea sickness.
Fix your mind upon some one you
hate" he explained, land you will
never be i'll when at sea-"
There was q wild commotion on
board another vesse! one morning, for
the captain found that some thief bad
broken into his cabin in the night and
stolen his best uniform. 4 hue and cry
was at once raised and the rough sail
ors. secretly enjoying the joke. ques-
toned everyone on board. not even
sparing the first-class passengers.
At last, however. the missing uni
form walked unsteadily from the
cooks galley. and the person inside it
made bee line for the bulwarks. II
always thought the togs captains wore
were a preventive of sea sickness" he
suffered, "but I'm afraid I've been la
boring under t!elusion. Tell the skip
per I'll let him have 'em back in half
a minute-.hey're no good to mel"
One of the sailors on a vessel out
ward bound for India rushed on deck
with livid face and startled the cap
tain by stating that seven passengers
had been found dead in their berths.
Instantly assuming that there had
been foul play the captain aroused
the doctor. and they went together to
visit the stricken sleeping places. To
all appearance the frightened sailor
had spoken the truth. for the passen-
gers lay white and still. not sign be-
traying that life still remained ia
| them.
The doctor examined them and then
went away with a frown on his face,
| returning shortly with a dapper little
Frenchman, who had made himself q
favorite with everyone.
"This gentleman will be able to sci
your mind at rest. captain" remarked
| the doctor. and the Frenchman. with
a careless smile, rapidly proceeded t6
rouse all the quiescent passengers
1t seemed that he was professional
hypnotist. and that for fee of ons
guinea he agreed to send anyone who
feared to undergo the pangs of sea
sickness into n sound mesmeric sleep
But for the doctors interference. hs
said, his patients would have slum
bered until the shores Of India were
| siphted,-Tit-Bits.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1898-10-08

his confidence. When nothing came Of
this after four weeks the man was
turned loose and released from es-
pionage. One Cay, a week later, he was
at the office of the eprovost-marshal for
pass to renew his peddlinE excur-
sions, when an escaped negro slave
who had reached the city only an hour
before caught sight of him and called
out a greeting. The negro had been
the slave Of the spy's brother in Vir-
ginia. He explicitly identified him.
and later on It wes proved that the
man had been engaged for year in
sending information from Washington
and the front. He was sentenced to
death, but before the day OF execution
he committed suicide in his cell.
The escape Of a man named Garrett
son, a member Of an Ohio regiment.
from the fate of a spy was as curious
case as you viii. ever find in print.
Having volunteered in the spring Of
1863 to penetrate Lees comp, he took
the role of an escaped confederate
prisoner. He dressed in an old suit Of
butternut, committed his programme
to memory. and then boldly set out for
the enemy's lines. There had been half
dozen skirmishes along the front dur
ing the past month. with . number OF
confederates captured, and Garretson
was posted as to regiments and ofiicers.
He had decided to become a nember
OF the Fifth Alabama, and he took the
name OF prisoner captured from that
regiment. He did not at all rese mbie
the man in looks CT build, and there
was difference OF five years in their
ages, but he depended on cheek to pull
him through. On reaching the pickets
he set forth his claim, and was passed
on to report to the provost-marshai
and be sent to his regiment. So far -
Garretson knew, that regiment might
be the very one which received him.
He soon learned, however, that it was
stationed some miles away. His story
was unquestioned at first. but ~ he
was ready to be forwarded the colonel
OF Georgia regiment sent for him to
ask about men in mis- command who
had been captured 1t the same time.
Al the spy was not posted about them
be fell under suspicion. When taken
to brigade headquarters for examina-
tion he made better showing. but was
held that his regiment might be COM
municated with. Then some very re-
narkable things happened. The
colonel 1t once declared Garretson al
riuhf. and he was released and passed
On. When be reported to his company
he was received without protest. AMI
II was 4 couple Of days before his iden-
tity as confederate was questioned.
Grrretson had the advantage In the
fact that the man he represented was =
new recruit. who bad been captured
within four or five days Of his joining.
He put { bold fac. on the matter. but
wss placed under arrest and sub1scted
| 70 a examination lastlri 81 DAY,
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1898-10-08

This was before the colonel. 1t seemek
that five recruits had come down to-
gether, and while they lived within
fifteen miles Of one another at home
they were not previously acquainted.
Two Of these men were positive that
Garretson was all right, while the
other two emphati.ally declared him
IN impostor. He was asked about the
town he came frOm-the streets. the
people and the buildings. and his an
swers were fairly satisfactory. He
made several blEnders, however, as
to the incidents of the journey in
reaching the front. and when the ex-
animation closed he felt that his case
was serious. The next day he was sent
to brigade headquarters to be ques-
toned anew, and several lucky guesses
rather strengthened his case. There
was disposition to give him fair
show, and at the end Of the second ex-
animation letters were sent on to the
people whom Garretson claimed to
have known for years asking for par
ticulars. The answers corroborated
many OF his statements. In their de-
scription Of him no two agreed, and
that was as much in his favor as
against him. The case was hanging
fire when a soldier came forth from
another regiment who said he was 3
cousin o. the man represented by Gar
retsou. and the two had been brought
rp together. He surely could identity
or denounce him. They worked s
rather slick game en- the spy in making
the test. He was turned loose. and it
was SO arranged that the cousiz
should approach him at . campfire.
Garretson saw the man coming and
felt that something was up, and be was
the first to step out and hold out his
hand.
MY name is Thomas White" whis-
pered the stranger. as they shook
hands. "and we are supposed to be cou'
sins. and to have lived together y
Opelika."
Before he could say more he was or
dered back, but he had said enough
The spy claimed him for his cousin
gave his name, correctly, and the ex.
animation was ended. He had beer
in the confederate lines twelve days
and he soon discovered that while he
was free from arrest, his movements
were closely watched. He simply had
to turn to and do duty. and it was sis
weeks before he made his escape
After the war Garretson made long
hunt for the man who had given him
the tip which probably saved his life
He could not lind him. as he had beer
killed in battle. but he found relative,
at Tuscumbia. Ala. who could ex-
plain how ii came about. The alleged
"cousin" was union man Mt heart
who had been forced into the ranks
and his action hal been guided by sen
timent.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1898-10-08
IRONCLADS AS PESTS.
press Strong Disapprova1 Of In
creaslng the Number Of Them.

The Spanish-American war has plain
~ revealed to us the formidable power
Ct ironclad ships. The only limit to il,
so far as the sea and the seaboard are
concerned, appears to be the necessity
of coaling. If feet of ironclads has
coaling stations everywhere, there is no
assignsble limit to its poweg. Seaboard
cites, unless they can be fortified, at
enormous expense. will henceforth be
always insecure. The nation which
has many of them, or to which they are
of vital importance, will live always in
fear of attack. The range of a ships
guns and the destructiveness Of projec-
tiles are such that il would seem no or
binary coast defenses. such as forts or
mines, would avail. The fort is at a
disadvantage because the vessel is not
ct rest. The only thing, saving torpe-
does, to which the ironclad ship ap-
pears to be vulnerable is vertical fire,
striking her unarmored deck, to which
she can very seldom be exposed. Ac-
cordingly, all nations are competing
with each other in multiplication OF
tueSe SHIPS.
It was said that ut the jubilee review
there was a line of men-of-war 30 miles
long; this. besides all the ships at the
out stations. Yet, Lord Charles Beres-
ford is crying out that the nation is de-
fenseless and demanding the construc-
tion of more ironclads. More ironclads.
no doubt, would be built; the other ma
tions will vie in the race, and SO It will
GO on. till an indefinite amount of the
products of labor is wasted in these en-
gines Of destruction. Between jingo-
ism and ironclads the civilized world
seems in danger Of relapsing into bar
barism armed by the skill of q scien-
tific civilization. II any man Of science
could invent an easy and certain meth
Cd Of destroying these pests, so as to
rid us OF. the dangers from them, and
the temptation to war which the pos
session of them brings with it, he
would be not the least among the bene-
| factors of mankind.-Cor. Toronto
/ font Cnn
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1898-10-08
Copyright. rssA

in the second. After Winchester, and
before Early made his famous dash,
the spy was sent out again. In getting
into the enemy's lines he was arrested,
and 10 clear himself he sent for the
Men who had before identified him as
the Charlestown preacher. Either be-
cause he was somewhat differently
dressed or they saw him under other
circumstances, not q man was sure OF
his identity. An examination resulted
in bringing forward relatives OF the
man lie represented himself to be. and
lie was convicted as a spy and paid the
penalty.
Before the campaign which ended ia
the battle of Antietam the federal
camps were overrun with confederate
spies. They had far better show to
get in and out than our spies did, as
every federal camp had its hangers-on.
and peddlers, mllkmen and farmers
were given passes. One day there came
into the second brigade civilian ped
dler OF postage stamps and stationer-
who did thriving trade until he got
into dispute with customer. AS nc
lost his temper he made use of certain
expressions which aroused suspicion.
and he was charged with being a spy
and placed upder arrest. When called
up for examination the general found
him hard nut to crack. He claimed a
residence in Washington, and told his
story SO glibly that he was sent to that
city to be further Investigated. 1t was
found that he had occupied room At
the place stated. He claimed to be
an engraver out Of work. and when
tools were placed in his hands he knew
how to use them. He said he had done
certain work in baltimore, and his
statement was found to be correct.
There were lame spots in his story.
however, and when he was sent to the
Old Capitol prison . southernrcfsgee
was placed in the cell with him 10 gain
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1898-10-08

He was Always Excited ana Nervous
| Untll the Tine Cane to ADJ
dress the House. !

Gladstone's manner in parliament II
Thus described by Henry w. Lucy. the
steno9raPher who took down nearly
every great speech the Grand Old Man
made for the last 20 years:
The particular occasion referred to
by Mr. Lucy WAS in 1879. when things
were going wrong. The premier came
in from behind the speakers chair
with hurried pace. Asusual when con-
semplating the delivery Of an impor-
tant speech, he had flower in .ais but
ton-hole, and was dressed with un--
usual care. Striding swiftly past his
colleagues on the treasury bench, he
dropped into the seat kept vacant for
him. Then, turning with sudden
bound Of his whole body to the right.
he entered into animated conversation
with . colleague, his pale face work
ing with excitement. his eyes glisten-
ing and his right hand vehemently
beating the open palm of his left hand.
~ II he were literally pulverizlng an
adversary. Tossing himself back with
equally rapid gesture, he lay passiv.
for the space Of 50 seconds. Then.
with another swift movement Of the
body, he turned to the colleague on
his left, dashed his hand into his side
pocket ~ If he had suddenly become
conscious of live coal secreted there,
pulled out . letter, opened 1T with
violent dick and earnestly discoursed
thereon.
Rising presently to answer ques-
tion put TO him n first lord Of the
treasury, he instantly changed his
whole bearing. His full. rich voice was
ntttned to . conversational tone. The
intense, eager restlessnexs Of manner
had disappeared. He spoke with ex-
ceeding deliberation, and with no other
gesture than . slight outward wave
OF the right hand and . courteous
bending Of the body in recognition OF
hin interloeutor. No matter how per-
turbed his manner before rising once
on his feet before the house, and his
seH-command was master Of his &c
tions; he became calm, dignified. state
". But, warming to his work. the
premier often proceeded through :
series Of gymnastic exercises that
would have left an ordinary man of
half his yea1s pale and breathless.
Sometimes with both hands raised
rigid above his head; often with left
elbow leaning ON the table. and right
hand. with closed fist, shaken at the
head Of some inofIensive country gen
tleman ON the back benches opposite;
anon standing half step from the
table. with the lef. hand hanging at
his side and the right uplifted 80 that
he might with thumbnail lightly touch
the shining top of his head, he trampled
his way through the arguments Of hi.
adversary n an elephant in an hour
Of aggravation rages through .
Jungle. Chronicle.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1898-10-08
TO UTILIZE MARSH GRASS.
a Company HAS, Been Formed to Man.
ufacture from 1t Tvlne, Rope
and MattinE.

The tendency so characteristic of
the present age to put to practical use
what has heretofore been considered
largely waste or useless material has
found fresh exemplification in new
enterprise at the head of which is ex-
Senator Warner Miller, of New York.
Throughout Wisconsin. southern
Michigan and Minnesota are thou
sands of acres of marsh land upon
which grows tall, rank, coarse grass,
which is practically without any COM
mercial value. Some of the finer va
rieties are utilized as hay. although
without any pronounced edible or
nourishing qualities, and occasionally
some of the coarser varieties are used
as bedding for stock, but as rule only
an exceedingly small portion of the
millions of tons which grow every year
Ands and use whatever.
All this, by the aid of ingenious ma
chinery. can be readily converted into
a number of cheap and useful articles
of commerce, such as binding twine,
rope, cotton baggin.y. mating. and a
substitute for carpet paper. and prom
ises to develop into an industry in
which thousands of people will ::nd en-
ployment.
The enterprise is called new one.
although il has been in successful op-
eration for over a year. but it is only
recently that plans have been perfect
ed for pushing it on an extensive scale
Within the last few weeks the large
plant of the Northwestern Cordage
company of ST. Paul has been pur-
chased by the new company, and i.
being put in shape for handling its
product, while contracts have already
been made for $4,000 or 10000 tons oi
marsh grass for use during the com.
ing season.
The grass which will be mostly used
is what is known as wire" grass. which
has a tough. hard. round stem. and is
absolutely without any value as a fooe
product. This can be made int bind
ing twine which is said TO be fully
equa! to that made from Manila hemp
and at a cost of at least one-third les:
than the latter. Certain kinds oi rope
vii! also be made from this grass. es
pecial attention to be given 20 tina,
kind which is used for the purpose o.
tying up hides. 1t is the purpose Il
use the coarsest varieties of grass il
the manufacture of roughly wover
cotton bagging. of which an immense
amount is used in the south. 1t will
IKE, it is claimed. strong, durabl,
and cheap bagging. The finer gras:
will be woven into mating, which j.
said to make an excellent substitute
for japanese mating. 1t takes dye.
readily, and makes floor covering
IS durable as it is attractive. An
other use to which it is claimed n eaI
be put to excellent advantage Is tha
Of lining for carpets, and decide,
superiority is claimed for it over tn,
paper lining now used for that pur
po<e.-Chicago Tribune.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1898-10-08
GAINS OF STREET PLAYERS


When m italian goes broke, !" which
isn't very often, by the way. he does
not run to the selectmen with long
tale Of poverty and woe; neither does
he land at the poorhouse and settle
down for the rest Of his days. Not Mt
all. The unfortunate son Of the land
Of sunny skies, pennilcss though he
may Be, always has three good stand
bys which will put him on his feet and
turn the tide his way-bananas, pea
nuts and pianos
There are six street pianos in daily
rse In New Haven. Four Of these are
owned BY m Italian saloonkeeper ON
Union street and the others by the in
dividuals who operate them. The first
mentioned rents pianos to his country
men. who call for them every morning
and return them ut night The men
who drag the piano about the streets
al day divide their receipts with the
owner every evening on returning.
When the money taken in during the
day II less than i've dollars the trip II
considered poor. On the other hand,
receipts average about six or seven dol
Lars PER day, and sometimes go N high
~ nine or ten dollars. Routes where
this harvest 10 gathered are carefully
watched and cultivated and kept as Sc
cret - possible from competitors in the
field.
One Of these pianos costs $3.50 In New
York, and they are made most sub
stantially In order to stand the wear
and tear Of street service. The owners
each year contract for new 'barrel"
Of tunes, ten In number. which is sup
piled by the dealer at cost of SIS. So.
following the original Investment, this
j. the only yearly expense.
A bright italian maid on Fair street
told . Register reporter that she and
her father '4went out" occasionally. and
always played to good houses, 70 to
speak. The last trip they took was up
the Housatonic valley. starting from
Bridgeport and going n far A. Pitts
Aeld, Mass. Then they crossed over to
Albany and Troy. followed the Hud-
son down to the metropolis, and re-
turned home. She smiled when asked
about the daily receipts. and was rath-
er noneommunicative. but finally ad-
mitted that she often gathered ten dol
| lara In her tambourine in one day. and
.sometimes much more" Country
cities, she says. always pay best. and
| summer resorts, where rich people
| snend their vacations. are cherished
treasure spots.-New Haven (Conn.)
Il z
Register.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1898-10-08
DistlnetIv Marked. !.

"Were there any marks about him
by which You would know him again r
asked the policeman, who had arrived
at the scene too late to be Of any serv-
ice
.Yes. sir" said the indignant young
woman. whose pocketbook had been
wrenched out Of her hand by the dar-
ing rcoundrel. Il left two long finger
nall marks ON his &ace. I'D know him
all right eaergh, ~fniesso Tfibuaes
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1898-10-08
De~anaed The Inpossisie.

Doctor Ito Gilbert. aged 1our)-Put
your tongue out, dear.
Little Gilbert protruded the tip Of
his tongue.
NO, no; put it right out.
The little fellow shock his head
weakly. and the tears gathered in his
syes: Il can't doctor; its fastened on
to me."-Modern Society.