Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1898-09-04
ATCRAWFISH GROTTO
THE IDLER ONCE AGAIN WHEELING
AMIDST SUMNER REvELLEEs.
EVERYTHING [" PERFECTLY LOVELY
A Hay-Ride With Plenty of straws-
The "Genial Proprietor" Much I'm
Evidence-ChiIdren' Fancy Dress
Ball-Output of Quarters.
Crawfsh Grotto, N. W.,
September 3. 1895.

|
d Crawfish Grotto, ~ w
: September 3. 1895.
Dear Editor:
: I'm going to write you springs let
Z ter-an epistle devoid Of that hterar
{ ! whitewash which so often hides tn
, chinks in some Of our rickety resorts an
transforms breakfast bacon into quail Of
! toast. In other words, I'm going 10 elm
, to facts as closely as postage staml
sticks to an envelope. and II there be an,
who take offence they are hereby notified
that from now on will be my busy day
and that cannot hear complaints.
When seeking for buoyancy of style and
wild and woolly hyberbole 1 always look
to the communications from summer re-
sorts, for they possess q bubbling etfer-
vescence which beats soda water charged
with carbonic acid gas When you read
these letters you feel that life will be I'M
bearable unless you HE yourself TO the
hotel from which the correspondent sends
her inky endorsement and forthwith place
yourself under the benign influence OF
place has genial proprietor" VINO sac
rifices his life, almost, to the comfort OF
his guests. and then has spasms of en-
barrassment when the summer butterflies
attempt TO pay up. Unless the proprie-
tor is genial he must get out or the
business. He may be courteous, agree
able, pleasant, afable, amiable, generous,
or kind-hearted, but these accomplish
ments won't do. The correspondents ex-
pect him to be genial" and no other
qualifications will fill the bill. II he lacks
this requisite he is as helpless as a
preacher who dislikes spring chicken or
a lawyer who thinks it his duty TO prac-
tice his profession for his health. Yes,
the genial proprietor" is a man OF so
much delicacy of feeling that he has
spasms of embarrassment when guests
attempt TO pay up. 1t may be also said
in the same connection-or rather in quite !
a different connection-that he has spasms |
OF uneasiness when they don't pay up, |
but this is not for publication. Such |
guests should receive no mention in
springs letters; in fact. they ask not 10
be mentioned along with the proprietor's
uneasness.
So, having forewarned you OF the candid
way in which l shall write, and having
expressed rather unusual determination
to tell the truth. 1 now proceed TO discuss
a subject which Is ever OF the deepest in
terest to me-to-wit, myself. l arrived at
this place four days ago TO take a much.
needed rest" as the world was informed
through your columns. The want of a
'much-needed rest is ever with me. 1
nave it when l get out Of the bed in the
and it sticketh closer than a
brother. From what had read judged
hat this resort was a kind of heaven
which you could get without dying The :
ady correspondent had given her affi- I
avit that all the celestial requisites ex- y
'ted-the genial proprietor" the golden
avs of summer" "the charming cotere
( delightful people," "salubrious waters" :
unique entertainments" and best and G.
lost delicious Of all the I'VE sma' hours" C
~ this latter expression IL is meant that ..
he proprietor counts twenty-eight days -
5 a full month in his bill, and thus les q
ems time by knocking of the other two Fl
avs Of the month. u
The bus met me at the depot, and / ..
ad a delightful ride to the hotel. For ~
lis l paid 80 cents. with an extra charge in
quarter for the little hair trunk Oh
hich always accompanies me in my sc
organizations. They gave me an s by " 90
om in Lakeside cottage, and added 81 N
week because II looked out on a porch. al
was all done very "genially," however co
i'd am very grateful-that didn't have -.
pay more. - -,
af
The charming coterie whom I saw the
KIT day mostly had the rheumatism or an
er complaints or dyspepsia, and basked WI
the sunshine with an air Of Christian ist
5ignation which should have fortified so,
EN- against all human suffering. The 1
ents Of the week did not crowd upon WI
ch other in rapid succession" and the ot.
iole time was spent in waiting for ole
ais. The chief thing to do after break kir
u was to wait for dinner and after the
ner everybody was busily occupied A
lting for supper Not that the meals al
re so powerfully good, for you are rot ~
'ected TO ask Second help" or any,
ng, but because the mountain air pro- A
'es "gnawing feeling" which de- han
nds constant attention ner
ne waters are not asked To he the
niai,' like the proprietor. and ye9r utt
eternal air Of expectancy. which in En-
iteS that you are TO give them hun
rter whenever you feel your sense ETY.
eternal obligation to them. They has
manage 10 produce this feeling. ana sur,
'ou fail TO do your duty. their scorn ceiy
be intense; it viii have a very wear mes
effect on your appetite. too. II the mu.
SIS behave right-that is to saw ~ "ge
= are sufficiently prodigal Of their tel
rters-these magnanimous dispensers que
God VIII arrange and give a minstrel
'rtainment, thereby affordng Won an II
n opportunity 10 separate yourself luti,
q sun more quarters. bed.
g
fact, IL Is but just TO say that everv- Of [
= connected with Crawfish Grofto az ever
yes IL so that you are saved the IRON wha
or carrying loose change around. You
: three chambermaids. who vie win
other in not cleaning up your room
at certain periOds-Lnat il hn,,rlv