The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1898-04-24
In a Street Car.

| 1t isn't everyone who can have fas-
cinating young woman sit upon his knee
in street car in broad daylight without
embarrassment on his part But there is
an exception 10 every rule-so they say
and your humble servant poses as a living
example Of that exception. although how
he ever survived the ordeal is more than
he can account for.
1t was my dinner hour, and as 1 had
been in the city all day. whaeking away
at an old ledger at S. a week. my appe-
lite was by ali odds the biggest part OF
me, and was in hurry to get homs
| 1t was half-paSt o'clock and the car
was crowded. There was just a seat and
half left unoccupied. and. according TO
the usual generosity Of mankind. hasten
ed to secure the integral part, leaving
/ the remainder to the next unfortunate.
Ny dreams OF hot chocolate and boiled
| hama happy combination!-wsre soon
disturbed by the entrance Of two fair dam
sells. One of them, . fair-haired. blue
eyed maiden. about whom the spring poets
| love to guSh, cast her eyes about the car
docking for a seat, / suspect until l be-
gan TO fear she would break the windows
! with them. Finally she spied the small
space by my side. and. accompanied by
her friend, approached and gently let her
| self down into il, squeezing an old woman
| with basket UP against the stove 1
had a sort of inward feeling that she
wanted me 10 get up and let her friend
have my seat. but somehow l became
| intensely interested in a newspaper that
1 happened to have with me-a newspaper
is nice thing TO have in such cases-and
1 forgot all about it.
Never mind. Mayme. you can sit down
on my lap" I overheard the fair one
say.
Well, maybe you think its funny, but
didn't take il in a humorous light I
simply took it as 1t came and didn't both
err about the light. 1 always thought a
girl could discriminate between a wo-
mans lap and a mans. but l see that
1 was led from the path of wisdom in my
earlier days.
''Mayme' proceeded to comply with her
friends invitation. but 1 wasn't looking
for what happened. She sat herself down
on one knee of the lady beside me, and
on two of mine / was sorry that / couldn't
accommodate her with some more knees
but l hadn't an extra supply with me-
Well You know those big sleeves that
the women are wearing, of course! I
wouldn't have minded it so much if she
hadn't stuck them right into my face It
rather placed chill upon my enjoyment
OF the occasion, but then one doesn't have
such pretty a creature TO sit upon his lap
every day in the week, and on street,
car at that so tried TO overlook 1t. In
fact. by stretching my neck q trifie did
look over il. All that seemed 10 be lack
ing was nice crate fire OF anthracite.
If hadn't been so tOrmented hungry l
would have ridden TO the extreme end OF
81
attitude, for where ignorance is bliss, It's
better TO remain ignorant But atti-
tude or no, had TO get off pretty soon,
and besides, she began to become heavy.
1 squirrned around bit, but she didn't
seem to notice 1t. although the newspa-
per artist opposite me did, and motioned
me to keep still until he got my feet
drawn. They were sticking out from IN
der her flowing skirts beside her own, and
1 suppose the conductor. who used 10 be
the manager OF a dime museum up in
Michigan. was thinking about long lost
opportunities. ct cetera-
1 squirmed some more. but with the
same result, or rather without any result
at ALL for she sat as firm as the tower
of Babel. l was growing desperate.
never had such a case as that on my
hands befOre-or on my knees, more prop
ery speaking. l had to get of At the
next square. and unless she voluntarily
removed herself from my lower append |
ages should certainly have 10 make her |
feel embarrassed. l wasn't embarrassed |
myself, as l said at the beginning. But
the fates were against me, for on she sat,
or. 10 be more lucid. she still sat on me
and a good hundred and thirty pounds
gets to be quite a load when you don't
have a chance TO shift about occasionally.
well. here goes, thought I. coming 20
the last resort and the last square on the
avenue.
Madam" 1 said. timidly. Il have to
get of here
Well" she replied, over the top Of her
sleeve. rather suspiciously. 1 thought
I'm not hindering you
Really. ma am. have enjoyed this ride
with you immensely, but
How dare you. SIR she exclaimed.
But you are sitting upon my knees"
said tenderiy, as. I thought OF the mu- /
tilated creases in my trOusers-
Welt IL you could have seen the Jump /
which that lady made you would have /
classed her Immediately as one Of those Z
modern feminine athletic enthusiasts ] /
don't know what followed. ! didn't wait /
10 see. but Ike a man who suddenly /
thinks Of a forgotten engagement J hus- /
tied off the car and finally reached home. !
where / ate tremendous dinner without I
speaking once. much 10 the wonderrent 1
OF my good Aunt Jane.
All this happened quite ? NUMBER &C !
mon rs ago. and the young lady - nov 7
helping ne to spend that - = week Queer I
coirt idence. isn't it2 But then. this would I
be ? queer world. indeed, II Il wasr't 50 /
queer as It IS, with its queer people a-1 I
queer ooincidents.-Sid Crance, n I;ol'er 4
Monthly.