The Houston daily post. [volume] (Houston, Tex.) 1886-1903, 1898-06-27

tlmonials.
Snort is bird. Al all events. he Is ~
Robin OF the trcasury.'--New York Her.
aid,
Colonel Snort is very versatile man.
and not always very scrnpulous. Ho would
try to dry snow and sell IL for salt
Houston t'rexas) Post,
Somebody stole . two-s,ory brick house
from poor woman in Washington. II
would be good idea TO search Shorts
pockets. Argus.
Snort Of Texas has no money to back
him. like Hanna. and hc is not related 10
the president. like Brother Abner,' but
he seems to be getting along pretty we'll
The June bug has his CORY wings.
The lightning bug his flame:
Bill Snort has got no wings at All.
But no gets there all the same.'
Texas Tarantula.
There is como talk OF investigating
Snort's purchase OF the Merrimac. He may
have had aecomplices. What encourage
ment is there for enterprise and industry
In this country anyhow? '~vChicago Herald.
Colonel Snort. the presidents oonndcn-
ti&i ADVISER is SAID TO be au OK .guerilla.
ln'ro doesn't seem to be much eX about
MIN, judging by the case With which he
Ee's away with Uncle Sans property
san antonio tieAasl EApreas
When the ifst-olass cruiser the Press,
thus throws its soarchlisht on a politician,
ana follows IL up with arinor piercing
shells, its no use 10 Offer any resistance.
ohoerfully own up that | am no better
than ! should be. | am tarred with tho
same brush as Mark Hanna and the presi-
dents brother Honest Abner." We are
all blankoty- blank rasoals.
n. H,~~un general principles. when a
tS al
Honest Jake. or 'lionest joe II is
nigh time TO investigate his accounts.
| The moat upright man In tho world can
not associate with Hanna, Brother Abs
ner' and the like, without becoming like
them. You can't bite the bottom out Of
a trying pan Without getting smut on your
nose. I've tried il
| While Colonel Snort IL no cripple ut
foathorlng b!s own ucst I tell YOU that
he dons his hat with the dofIlest kind OF a
| don to the presidents brother and Mark
Hanna OF Ohio, ! am learning every day
from both Of them II is hard to tell which
l admire the more.
! Brother Abner" is about as smooth az
they make them, He is tho attorney. and
probably silent partner. Ia the firm Of
t'pbbleheimer, GougenberHer & Schwndle-
meyer. They got the contract from Brother
| l3ill Mckinley, through brother Ahner."
to make several hundred thousaud uni
| ".
| higher thnn the bids Of other Arms don't
know what Brother Abnor' got. hut he
| didn't get left, for SGhwpdlemeysr saya
| that Abner robbed him People VINO know
sehwndlemeyer realize what n past grand
master Brother Abncr' must be to do
| him up.
| while not dotractln. from the merits
on the presidential brother for live, go-
ahead, fourteen hands high crook, with n
good pedigree, Hanna Is not to b. sneezed
at
Did you read about the yacht he eold
the government for 800 000y In one scnGe
of the word Il Is a crack yacht, for Il leaks
| Ike n sieve, but the point Ia that Hanna's
pro1t Is a clear 100000 The yacht b.
lonGed to wealthy bank wrecker. who
was sent up for twenty years. Hanna, rot
| me 10 use my Influence with the president
| to sign his pardon. Ar soon as the bank
wreeIer was out, thanks to me, he made
| Hanna n present Of that yacht for which
the government has Just paid $1,000 00 I
have asked Hanna several times for my
| rake off, but he Just jolias me along.
What do you say TO that? rs az cold a
steal MS an lcemnn's bill I am going 10
have my "commish'' or III make Hanna
look like n porous plaster.
When the war broke out. urged the
president not TO adopt any Seventh regi-
inents tactics ! said; "Stave your list
through Spain. and walk of with her on
your arm like n market basket"
AZ flrsi, the president was dspose1 to
adopt my patriotic suggestion Then Hama
came and tnmpered with the president. aud
| had to wrestle with them both, even al
Jacob wrestled with the angel in Genesis.
believe would have thrown them both,
la Mcclusky, II they hadn't been REIN
forced By Brother Abner" Hanna and
Abner reasoned with me, They said:
Colonel Snort. the war must be pro-
longed. There must be no solar pexus
blow until the October election. The longer
the war lasts the more money will be In
H. Help us prolong the war. and we VIII
let you In on the ground floor. You shall
have the Merrlmac deal to begin with BE
ono OF The syndicate"
What could do but yield2 A little fable
viii show my position. certain man
Uncle Sam, had a sagaeIuus and faithful
dog, whom we will call Bill. Every morn
Ing the faithful dogs master gave Bill Z
basket. Bill trotted of 10 The butcher on
the next block, who put In the basket
the meat for the family, whereupon BIZ
brought 1t home to his master. One day
BIZ, while bringing home the meat, was
attacked by two large hungry DOES Mark
and Abner. Faithful Bill stood them OIL.
He put up great fight, but he was sb.n
getting the worst Of II. BIZ realized that
the two dogs would get all the meat, so
Bill changed his tactics. He quit fighting
and began eating the meat himself By
this means he got share OF II, and
avoided having Mark and Abncr bite
chunks out OF his hide.
Don't you think Bill was right? He
couldn't have stood OF tho presidents
brother and Mark Hanna. Uncle Sam d
going to be robbed In spite OF all Biii
Snort can do SO why shouldn't the latter
get his share Of the Doodle. which other
wise would have gone exclusively to Hanna
and the presidential brother?
We are all feeling had at the threatened
collapse OF Spain. The queen wants an
other loan This reminds me Of very
sick woman who motioned feebIy to her
husband. and whispered painfully that sha
thought she could take little broth. \.
"a little BROTH What do you want 81
BROTH Dent you know that thu dprtoP
has Just given you up?' replied the hua-
band; sagssta. BY the way, Is not teell&g
well himself. 81 sss.|.'' ~ 81
What will become a. ncklB)ey M q ~