The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1898-05-17

remark, with a mental addition which
wouldn't improve q Sunday.school
book much, that was the very thing
you were about to propose yourselfQ
(RoarO On, you were under good
disciplined And, as you we're hutter
ing up and down the room in your
"undress uniform, " you not only pratt
tied undignified bRby~talk, but you
tuned up your martial voice and tried
to sing, "Rock-a by, baby, in the tree.
top" for instance. What q spectacle
for the Army Of the TENNESSEE Roars
Of laughter.) And what an amiction
for the neighbors, too; for it isn't
everybody within a mile around that
likes military music at 8 o'clock in the
morning. And when you had been
keeping this thing up for two or three
hours, and your little velvet head in
timated that nothing suited it like ex
erciee and noise-"go on"-what did
you dot You simply went on till you
dropped in the last ditch. Great
laughter.) The idea that q baby does
MT amount to anythingl Why, one
baby is just a house and q front-yard
full by itself; n baby can furnish
more business than you and your whole
interior department. can attend to; he
is enterprising ~irrepressible, brim full
Of lawless activities, do what you
please, you can't make him stay on
the reservation. prolonged laughter.
Sufficient unto the day is n baby.
AS long as you are in your right mind,
don't you ever pray for twins. (Roars
OF laughter and bushes by Gen. Sher
idRn). Twins amount to a permanent
riot, and there amt any real difference
between triplets and an instruction.
Oaughter.) Yes, it was high time for
a toastmaster to recognize the impor-
tance Of the "Babies. l." Think what is
in store for the present crop. Fifty
years hence we shall all be dead
trust-and when this flag, If it still
survives-and let us hope it may, will
be floating " a republic numbering
two hundred million souls, according
to the settled laws of our increase, our
present schooner of state will have
grown into q political leviathan q
Great E9stern-and the Graded babies
Of to day will be on deck. Let them
be we'll trained, for we are going to
leave a big contract on their hands.
(Applause.) Among the three or four
millions Of cradles now rocking in the
land are some which this nation would
preserve for ages as sacred things if
we could know which ones they are.
In one of these cradles the unconscious
Farragut Of the future is at this mo.
ment teething-and putting in a word
OF dead earnest, unarticulated, but
perfectly justiiable profanity over it,
too Qaughter). In another the future
renowned astronomer is blinking at
the shining milky way with but a Ian.
guild interest, poor little chap, and
wondering what has become Of that
other n they call the wet nurse
Qaughter) in another, the future great
historian is lytng-and doubtless he
will continue to ''lie" till his earthly
mission is ended Qaughter) in another
the future president is Ousying himself
with no ~profounder problem Of state
than what the mischief has become of
his hair SO early and in a mighty ar
ray Of other cradles there are some
sixty thousand future Office seekers
getting ready to furnish him occasion
Co grappie with that same old prob
lem u second time; and in still one
more cradle, somewhere under the
flag, the future %illustrious commander.
in. chief Of the American armies is 80
little burdened with his approaching
grandeur and responsibilities az to be
giving his whole strategic mind at this
moment to trying to find out some
way to get his own big toe into his
mouth Qaughter) a achievement
Which-meaning no disrespect-the il
lustrious guest Of this evening also
turned his attention to some 1fty-six
years ago. And if the child is but the
prophecy of the man, there are mighty
few who will doubt that he succeeded.
Oaughter.)
A MATRON'S ADVICE TO A GIRL
ON THR ART OF PLEASING.