The Dawson news. (Dawson, Ga.) 1889-current, 1898-07-13
NEW WAR HUMORIST.
AR. D09LEY PAYS HIS RESPECTS
TO THE ARMY.

Whin Gin'Eal Miles GIFTS His New Uni
forms and His Picthers Took, He WIN
Cr-rush TIN Spanish With Wan Blow
Bigger Than tn Big Wind In ireland.
"Well, Mr.. Honnessy asked, "how
goes tn WARP"
Splendid, thank ye, " said Mr. Doc
ley. Fine; fine. 1t makes me hear-rt
throb with pride that I'm citizen iv
tn Sixth wa-ard',
Has tn ARMY started FIR Cuba yet?"
"Wan ARMY, says ye? Twinty Las
Choosdah an advance ARMY " wan
hundherd an twinty thousand men land.
ed firm tn Gussie, with tin thousand
cannons hurlin projicktyles weighin
eight hundherd pounds siyinteen miles,
Winsdah night a second ARMY iv in
/ jineers, miners, plumbers an lawn ten
mis- experts, numberin in all four hun
| dherd an eighty thousand men, ARMED
| with death dealin canned goods. was
hurried to Havana to storm tn city.
/ Thursdah mornin three thousand full
rigimints iy trough r-riders swum their
| hOr-rses acrost to Nationals, an aftber
| a spirited rattle captured thu RAINY
Christiny golf links two up ar hell to
! play, an will hold thin ag in all com
ers. TIL same afthernoon tn regular
cavalry con-sistin iv four hundherd an
| eight thousand well mounted men, was
loaded aboard tn tug Lucy J an depart
ed on their earend iv death amid tn
cheers iv eight millyon sojers left be.
hind at Chickamauga. These cavalry III
cooperate with Commodore Schlow, an
whin he desthroys tn Spanish fleet, as
he does iyry Sundah an holy day except
In Lent, an finds out where they ARE
an desthroys thin, afther batterin down
| tn forts where they ARE con- cealed so
| that he can't see thin but thinks thew
ARE on their way FIR to fight Cousin
George Dooley, tn cavalry will make a
dash back to Tampa, where Gin'ral
Miles is preparin to desthroy tn Span
| ish at wan blow-an he's tn boy to
! blow.
9Th gin'ral arrived tn other day
fully prepared FIR tn bloody wurruk iy
war. He had his intire fam " with him.
He ERODE reckIessly into camp mounted
on a superb SPECIAL ca-ar. Ashimsilf an
Uncle Mike Miles an Cousin Hennery
Miles an Master Miles, aged s years,
dlsmounted firm tn SPECIAL train, they
were received with wild cheers be eight
millyun iv tn bravest sojers that liver
C1up fHCir livyac tIos, =,
TIL press cinohorship is so pow 'rful
that no news is allowed to go out, but
Aave 1t firm tn SPECIAL correspondent
Nv mesilf, Clancy tn Butcher, Mike
Casey, an tn city direchtry that Gin raj
Miles instantly repaired himsilf to tn
hotel, where he made his plans FIR
cr-rushin tn Spanyards at wan blow.
He will equip tn army with blow
guns at wanst. His uniforms ARE
comm down in SPECIAL steel protected
bullyOn trains firm tn mint, where
they've been kept FIR year. He has or
dhered out tn gold resarve FIR to equip
his staff, numberin eight thousan' men,
nanny iv whom ARE clubmen, an as
soon as he can have his picthers took he
will cr-rush tn Spanish with wan blow
TIL purpose iv tn gin raj is to permit
no delay. Decisive action is demanded
be tn people. An whin tn hot air ma
cheens has been STINT to tn front Gin raj
Miles will strike wan blow that'Il be
tn damdest blow since tn year iv tn
big wind in Ireland.
" coorse, they'z dissinsions in tn
cabinet, but they don't amount to nav
thin. TIL sicrety iv war is in favor
iv sawin tn Spanish ARMY into two
be four joists. The sicret'y iv tn
threeasury has a scheme FIR rooinin
thin be lindin thin money. TIL sicret'y
iv tn navy wants to sue thin befure
tn Massachusetts supreme court I've
herd that tn prisidint is arrangin a
knee dhrill with tn idee iv prayin tn
villyans to tn divvil. But these diff
f'rences don't count We're all wan
people an we look to Gin'ral Miles to
desthroy tn Spanish with wan blow.
Whin it comes threes will be lifted out
be tn roots. MORO Castle'll cave in an
tn air'll be full iv Spanish whiskers.
A long blow, a sthrong blow an blow
all together That's tn motto iv tn adj
ministhration F"
We're a great people, said Mr..
Hennessy earnestly.
"We ARE" said Mr.. Dooley. "We
ARE that. An tn best iv it is we know
we ARE. Chicago Journal.
--sas
STTTNG nv CATFISH