The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1898-12-22
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.l0pzaoKER
NEVADA

what Is that dreadful crowd?' 81
don't know. Either Hobson Is In town
or shirt waists are marked down 10
nineteen cents."-Chicago Record.
The Judge tsternly)-The next person
who interrupts the proceedings will be
expelled from the courtroom. The
prisoner (enthusla -Hooray.-
Puck.
she-"Haye you heard Songs With
out WordsY He-"fva heard a lot of
them without music" After that the
Incident and piano We're closed.-ln-
dianapolls Journal.
Mrs. Jones-Why don't you do some
thing to support yonrselfI The tramp
i wuz tlnkln', madam, of startin' one
Of dem endless chains of letters con-
trlbutin' to me rellef.-Puek.
This" said Mr.. Filter. lis a picture
of the only girl ever loved How
rleverly," said Miss Wyse, as she look
ID at the portrait, they do get up these
composite photographs."-Truth.
Pruyn-Haye you heard that horrible
story about old Stiffe being buried
alive? DIR. Bolus (hastily)-Buried
alive? Imposslblei Why, he was one
Of my misunderstanding Life.
Farmer Ito young thieO-What are
you doing under the tree with that
apple? Bright boy-l was just going TO
climb up the tree to put back this ap-
II, .-1tal, 400 bac Fa1lan Hnun =
Plttsburg Bulletin.
Jinks-I want to buy a dog. | don't
know what they call the breed, but 1t Is
something the shape OF a greyhound,
with a short, curly tail and rough hair.
Do you keep dogs like that? Fancler-
Mo-; l browns 'em!-Punch.
He-It seems to be generally ac-
knowledged as a fact that nearly all
admire a soldier. She-I don't
know as to the married ladies, but none
OF the single ines would object to a
good offer-sir.--Chicago News.
Miss Antlquate-Perhaps you are not
aware of the fact that my family came
oyer in the Mayfower. Miss Cutting
Indeed But then | suppose you were
too young at the time to remember
much about the trlp.-Chicago News.
The hired help-Say, this here ice you
have been leayin' is Ave or ten pounds
short every mornin'. The iceman-
Sure, It's the burnin' giances of them
lovely blue eyes that melts 1t before l
kin git 1t to the house. -Cincinnati En-
qulrer.
Father (sternlyl-What Is this hear
about you gambling? Son (hastily)-l
admit play cards, father, but 1t Is
only for small stakes. Father-oh. as
long as 1t is for something to eat l don't
mind. But don't let me hear you play
ing for money.-Truth.
Mrs. Dashleigh-I see here. Ethel,
that every name has a meaning. Thus
Harold means brave" Charles means
gay" Richard Miss Dashleigh In
terruptlngly)-O, l know what Dick
means, ma. He means business. He
told me so last nlght.-Boston Globe.
Little Clarence. fwho reads and pom
ders)-Pa, Is 1t true. as Shakespeare
says, that 'all the worlds a stage?'
Mr.. Calllpers-It may have been SO In
S~hakspeare's time. but as far back as
! can remember 1t has been more like a
court-house-it has been SO full OF
trials.-Puck.
Little Harry-Pa, what's a foregone
conclusion? Pa-Anythlng that's sure
10 follow something else. To give you
an Illustration: II ! were 10 lock the
drawer of my desk II wouldn't be twen-
~ minutes before your mother would
break 1t open for the purpose of finding
out what was trying TO conceal
Cleveland Leader.
She did not hesitate TO express alarm
concerning the young soldiers future.
Have no fears" he exclaimed, cheer
lily. We have a colonel who is both gal
liant and discreet, and subordinate Off
GERS who are intelligent as we'll as
brave" Il know all that, Harold, dear,
But what Kind of a cook have your
Washington Star.
Teacher-Now, children, we all know
what the word posterity means, do we
not? ~Puplls-Yes. ma'am. Teacher
Well, then, write n sentence containing
the word. Give minutes later.)-"Now
Johnnie, you may read yours" johnnie
! am sorry for the Kids of posteritJ
that will have to learn this war out Of
A book. We have a regular snap
Truth.
I'D like to know what yon would
ever have been IL | hadn't married you
John Henry..' Il should probably have
been the unhapplest man on earth" II
he had stopped there. there might have
been a protocol, but he wen on: "Peo
nile v know when they are vel
off" After which there was nothing tt
do Int 90 on with the quarrel.-Chlca
20 Tribune.
A tourist who had been caught In
severe storm up In the Highlands con
graduated himself, after finding a soil
fary cottage, on being asked 10 stay
oyer night. After donning a suit of the
guid mans clothes till his W were
dry. he met the mistress on the stairs
with a big Bible in her hand, and She,
mistaklng the stranger for her husband,
gave him n thump on the head with the
Bible, remarklng: THAT'S for askin'
the man 10 STAY a. NIGHT"