The age-herald., 1898-07-16
JOHN ALIENS
 WAR TALK

William Eugene Lewis in Chicago Times
 Herald
 Washington. July 12.-The entertainer of the house of representatives is John M Allen, of Tupelo, Miss. He is a serious faced man with black nnt1stache, which droops at the ends. ard large, melancholy dark eyes. That is Allen at rest. When he talks his mustache curves with an en- gazing smile, and his eyes gleam with mirth. That is to say. when he is on a peace basis. There are occasions when an injustice has been attempted on Mis- sis5ippi that the mouth sets like iron and the soft, sad eyes blaze like headlights. At such times it is well to give the Mississip- plan the right of the thoroughfare. Mem bers' seats are never vacant when Allen is due to speak, for, as I have said, he is an entertainer. He is practical orator, and relieves the drearness of argument with anecdotes. The other day while oppos- ing proposition from the New York dairy district to add a triweekly four ounces of cheese to soldiers ration MT Allen, who claims eminence as the only confederate private who survived the war, contributed a series of rebellion "reminiscences to glad den the pages of the Record. He offered to make one of a company of congressman to go to the front under command of General Grosyener. 'I make this offer in good faith,' he said, land I desire no commits sion. l want to serve in the same ca- pacity I filled in the last war, to prove that can fight well under Old Glory I fought against it.
 q don't say won't be frightened" he continued, lapsing into the soft southern accent which gives a charm to his stories. "I was always pretty much scared up when went into an engagement, but I us- ua1y stayed 1t out. I remember once my self an a comrade was lyin behind nice pile of rails. Gentlemen, I have long re- membered that as about the handsomest pile of rails I ever noticed in the south land It was comfortable and it was pic- turesque. Although the bullets were whin- ing over our heads and an occasional can- nonball would go past with rush an a roar, lark perched in the tree above us sang sweetly. My friend looked up to it choked with emotion.
 Ah, little bird he said, ef I had yo' wings I wouldn't be settn' round yere singin I'd be in good old Mississippi be- fo' night
 "But about this cheese ration" he said, returning to his argument; I'm dubious about cheese keeping well in the tropics. It recalls reminiscence of my youth. One day a negro man was projecting around the grocery store at the cross roads, and discovered two or three dozen boxes of axle grease. The lubricant in such packages was a novelty, and David, after prying off the cover of one, determined its iden- tity.
 "What's dem lir brown cheeses wuf, boss? he asked the proprietor.
 They're Wuth two bits each. DaVe'
 "I'm lowin' I takes one,' he said, dig ging up p cents. I suppose yo' give pol man few crackers to eat dat cheese wid?'
 Certainly, Dave; take all yo' want re- piled the humane storekeeper.
 Dave retired with his box of axle grease and a handful of crackers to the rear of the store. He took out his jack knife- took a circular cut out of the middle of the grease and spread it on a cracker. Itrequired powerfuleffort, but the niggra put the last of the box into eventual cir culation. Niggras are economical that way, and don't like to waste anything that can be eaten.
 ' How did the cheese go, Dave? inquired the storekeeper
 Well, boss replied the nfggra, dat cheese was suttingly cheap enough; I kaint mek no complainin on de price, but hit was sholy de mos ransomest cheese I over ct !"
 In the course of his talk MT. Allen, as I have said, offered to make one of conn pany of congressman to go to Cuba under General GroSvenor. of the war isn't end- ed when we get there," he said, ''the Span- ish will stop fighting as soon as they hear of our arrival.
 ''I don't feel about this affair the way a friend of mine does. A man here in Wash- ington asked him if he intended enlisting
 'Fust off, he said, I thort I would an then I kinder thort I wouldn't. I ain't afraid of fightin'; that aint the troble. I was talkin it over with Tom Owen, after I'd about concluded to jne an after dis cussin of it with him then I made up my mind final Yo' see, I reekoned it would be too big a surprise to the boys that's done been dead these thrty-five years They'd see me a-comin' through the pearly gats, maybe, il things didn't come my way, with blue uniform on. They don't know about this affair, an my appearance would amaze em some. Then they'd rise up an holler:
 '"Deserted! bod dern him.'
 !" So thnkin' it all over I concluded to avoid shocl<in' them angels that wore the gray, an stay at home.'"