davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-05-12
nature made me sob and sigh for my
place once more by my fathers fireside.

nature made me sob and sigh for my
place once more by my fathers freside.
It seemed my situation was now most
critical. I kept trying to reload. I
drew the stopper from my powder
barrel of my musket; then, hurriedly
ramming some paper on top of it,
attempted to pour down the shot. This
gave the cat an opportunity to attack
me, and he sprang upon me, sinking
his teeth in my thigh. By kicking him
in the stomach with my free foot and
pelting him over the head with the butt
of my gun drove him from me, and he
lay down, swapping and snarling vi
ciously.
I hurriedly ratified down fully a
pound of shot and some bullets I hap
pened to have in my pockets for sinkers
on fishing lines, placed upon them a
quickly prepared wad and put on cap.
By this time the mate had come up
to the other and was licking his bruised
head. I brought my gun to my shoul-
der, pointed it towards my enemies,
took aim and fired.
All remembered was a flash of fire,
a deafening roar and terrible shock.
The next remembered was surround
ed by my father and several of the
| neighbor men, who had heard the report
of my gun and had come TO my assist
ance.
Upon investigation I found I had
killed both the cats, and, too, that I
was badly wounded in the face by the
breechpin blowing out. I was very
| weak from excitement and loss of
blood, but was able next day to tell Of
my experience and measure my cats
the male measuring eight feet and the
| female six feet and nine inches.
shall always remember this fight as
an adventure of my boyhood.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-05-12
No More TOastinr.

A certain DR.. Brown courted a lady
unsuccessfully for many years, and
drank her health every day. On being
observed to omit the custom, a gentle
man said: "Come, doctor, your old
toast" Excuse me- he replied; ''as
I can't make her Brown, I'll toast her
no longer Banner Of Gold.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-05-12
An Exclamation,

II have great respect for art,'' said
the young man who dabbles.
"Ycs,' replied Miss Cayenne, sit is a
characteristic of human nature to view
with awe things that we don't know
much about" -Washington Star.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-05-12
A Chinese VicerOy.

The viceroy of Hankow is nice man,
but he didn't ask us to lunch. He is
great scholar. He is student of John
Stuart Mill and Metropolitan time
tables. He is what you call an advanced
man. He wrote such splendid article
on the advantages of steam engines
two years ago that the emperor wrote:
Dear Sir: I entirely agree with you;
please build railway between Picking
and Hankow." And already few hun
dred feet of embankment have been
built-there is temporary cessation of
work, owing to lack of funds-but it is
confidently expected that in about four
centuries the line will be completed.
Meanwhile he is running an iron works
and cotton mill on strictly European
lines, but with difference-he has the
most expensive English machinery, and
lie has English workmen, but he won't
allow an Englishman to have any voice
IN the management. Knowing Con-
fucius off by heart and half Mencius, he
himself IS. of course, the best person to
manage cotton mill and an iron works.
He can't understand why both ventures
are dead losses.-Providence Journal.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-05-12
SHE KNOWS HIM.

"What! Are you going to leave so
soon? l thought you had decided to
stay another fortnight"
eyes, I wanted to, but when wrote
my husband for the additional money
he sent it so promptly and without OBJ
;ecting that think the best thing can
do is to go home!"-Heitere Welt.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-05-12
His MASTERPIECE

Footelight-What do you think the
best thing ever did?
Sue Brette-Why, that piece where
you died in the first act. - Yonkers
Statesman.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-05-12
His Yearn.

Mrs. Flint (skeptically)-H'm! What
kind of job do you want?
Seldum Fedd with surprising can
dor)-Any kind of job dat can't git,
mum-Puck
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-05-12
Sweet and Innocent.

Miss Passay-I was so embarrassed
last night. Mr.. Hunl1ley asked point
blank why had never married.
Miss Cutty-g-i wonder how he
came to do that-had he never seen you
in the daytime?- Chicago Daily News.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-05-12
Glad of the Chanre.

"Who gives this bride away?" asked
the minister.
II do, willingly" replied her father,
innocently, with an~approving smile at
the groom.-Philadelphia North Amer
lean.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-05-12
Impossible.

"How did Fakem, the hypnotist, get
along on his last trip?"
"First-rate, until he tried the impossi-
BILE. He hypnotized a tramp one day
and tried to make him saw wood
Brooklyn Life.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-05-12
Its Little Joke.

"All wisdom centers about me,
For there'd be-you can't deny
No men of letters without me!'
And the alphabet winked it's I.
Chicago Tribune.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-05-12
A Stunninr EXAMPLE.

. Professor Ito class in philosophy -Now,
Johnnie, give me examples of the extremes
of softness and hardness.
mond stud.-Jeweler' Weekly.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-05-12
A PLOT REVEALED.

Mrs. Green-Now 1'D' going to tell
you something, Ethel. DO you know
that last night, at your party, your sis
ter promised to marry me? I hope
you'll forgive me for taking her away!
Ethel-Forgive you, Mr.. Green! OF
course will. Why, that's what the
party was for!-London Punch.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-05-12
And Now They're EnEaEed.

He-See the ring around the moon?
She-Yes. (After a moment of ST.
lence.) George, can you tell me what
is the difference between the moon and
my fnger?- Brooklyn Life.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-05-12

To the American mind there is some
thing fairly awe-inspiring in the
thought of a house which has been ten
anted, without a break, for 1900 years.
Yet there is such a house near St. Al
bans, England, and it was built in 795
by King Offa of Mercia. Originally
erected as fishing pavilion for the
monks of the adjoining monastery of
st. Adams, it is now an inn; and If one
may judge from the immensely thick
foundations of flint and Roman brick
and the perfect preservation of the up
per part of the little house, it may last
several centuries longer. It is in a
church of St. Adams that the great
Francis Bacon, baron of Verulam, lies
buried.=Banner of Gold.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-05-12

on now our overcoats we lay,
For loud the robin calls;
But shall the clothes be put away
With gilt or camphor balls?
Brooklyn Life.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-05-12
A Balancing Feat.

The problem great propounded by fate
To the young married couple in town,
Is how they may keep appearances up
And yet keep expenditures down.
IN. Y. Journal
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-05-12
After the Honeymoon.

Mrs. Crimsonbeak-If money talks,
never heard it. -. ....... q. .z...~-
Mr.. Crimsonbeak- no one would
be able TO hear it if you were around
XoGkexb Statesman. III p. =
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-05-12
A PrOverb Verified,

When maidens don't know how to bike
You will agree to this:
For him who teaches, it's case
Where ignorance is bliss.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-05-12
After fhe Oner1.

Marie-The tenor's beautiful tones are
still ringing in my ears.
Louise-Goodness! And earrings are all
out of style, too!-Philadelphia Bulletin.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-05-12

.Ea r l Y IN
the summer of
1897 l pro-
Gu r e d five
boxes of them
! n d before
finishing the
second b O x
[ began to i'm
prove and by
the time ]. had
taken the five
boxes I was
able to 6 o
on nv
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-05-12
They Go Well Together.

"They are giving away life insurance
policies with some of the cheaper
wheels"
II don't wonder at that."-Cycling
Gazette.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-05-12
The Only Difference.

Little Clarence-Pa, what is the diff.
ference between frmness and OBJ
stinacy?
Mr.. Callipers- Merely matter Of
sex, my son.-Puck.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-05-12
The Tree of Knowledge.

Full many an i'll of most malignant mien
The dark recesses of our systems bear
But till some patent nostrum ad is seen
We live in blissful ignorance that they're
there.
IN Y. Evening Journal
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-05-12
An Invitation to Keep On.

An 1nVIGat1On 10 Keep On.
ooh, that I might die kissing you'll"
he exclaimed.
swell, expect papa home almost any
minute now," she replied. - Chicago
Daily News.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-05-12
Proof.

Shea woman is drawer than a man.
He-What! Why, woman is afraid
of a mouse.
Shelves, and a man is afraid of that
same woman.-N. Y. Evening Journal.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-05-12

Physician Cooking into his anteroom,
where number of patients are wait
ing)-Who has been waiting the long
est?
Tailor (who has called to present his
bilD-I have, doctor! I delivered the
clothes to you three years ago!-Un-
sere Gese]lschaft.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-05-12
Loves Labor Lost.

II pity flowers" said the maid,
With cool confidence of mien,
For what an awful, awful thing
1t must be to blush unseen"
~ Y World
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-05-12
So Different.

Mrs. Downe-Is your husband bull
or bear? ~.
Mrs. Uppe-He's a bull on Change
but he's bear at home.-Ainslee's Magt
aziue.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-05-12

Qualifying Himse1f.
Bill-Isn't it strange Gill never joined
club?
Jill-Well, think he's going to join
one now.
what makes you think SOP"
'He's been getting married" lyon
kers Statesman.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-05-12
Shake Into Your Shoes

Aliens Foot Ease, a powder for the feet.
It cures painful, swollen nervous, smarting
feet and instantly takes the sting out OF
corns and bunions It's the greatest comfort
discovery of the age. Aliens Foot Ease makes
tight or new shoes feel easy. 1t is certain
cure for sweating, callous and hot. tired, ach-
ing feet Try it today. Sold by all druggists
and shoe stores. csc. Trial package FREE.
Address Allen S. Olmsted, LIE Roy, n Y.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-05-12
Il i Sza| 4
Obtrusive Friendliness.

Obtrusive Friendliness.
"Agnes won't speak to any of us"
"What's the trouble?"
eve gave her surprise party on her
birthday" -. E>
THAT ought to have pleased her."
"We]l, it didn't. We gave her beau
tiful birthday cake with 40 candles
around it."-Chicago Record.
Strong Language.
Strong language I hate. yet it might in its
place
Perhaps quite excusable be,
But the chap who eats onions and talks In
my face,
His language Is too strong for me.
Il. A. w. Bulletin.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-05-12
The Exceptional Bride,
FRS. Violette-In what WaV?

Mrs. Mermet-Young Mrs. Hymen is
the most remarkable bride ever heard
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-05-12
His Objection,

Mrs. Trotter-Oh, doctor, can't you
persuade my son that football is dan.
gerous?
Doctor-Ah, madam, would you have
me gain the enmity of the entire medi.
cal profession ?-Harlem Life.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-05-12
NOT a LAWYRr.

CHOW" said the lawyer who was conduct
ing the cross-examination, will you please
state how and where you first met this
man.. %an 81 tAn said the Lady with the
:, what you think" interrupted the lawyer:
you think, and we haven't any time to waste
in listening to what you think. Now, please
tell us where and when it was that you first
met this man." The witness made no reply.
"Come, come" urged the lawyer. II de-
mand an answer to my question" Still no
response from the witness. ''Your honor"
think I am entitled to an answer to the ques-
ton have put" ''The witness will please
answer the question" said the court in i'm.
! RTeSsive tones TCan't," said the lady.
hear what I think, does it ?" NO. ''Then
there's no use questioning me any further.
thinking" So they called the next witness.
cleveland Leader.
When DR.. Hayes, Buffalo, N. Y, an
nounced nearly twenty years ago, that he
could cure Asthma so that the sufferer
would stay cured, few believed him, for they
doubted the permanency of the cures which
Hayes has been issuing annually his ''Thesis
with Reports of Cases." each recurring sea-
son strengthening his position; and it is
remarkable fact that many of the first cases
reported are still represented in his book,
for they have stayed cured-some for nine
teen years, some for sixteen or more years,
others for twelve, ten, eight and six years,
The names and addresses of the patients are
given in full, so that anyone who now. doubts
may consult the former sufferers freely. DR..
Hayes practice now extends not only t.
Great Britain and the continent of Europe;
South Africa as we'll. Each patient is
treated individually by separate prescrip::
lions varied from time to time as frequent
correspondence shows is needed and in this
way success is attained in even the most
difficult and obstinate cases. Any sufferer
or person interested can obtain the latest
on a postal addressed to him at Buffalo.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-05-12
Oral Evidence.

GLOW true it u.s." muttered Mr.. Meek
er, "that actions speak louder than
words! They strike the ear with more
force"
And he softly rubbed his right auric-
ular organ which his energetic spouse
had just boxed Chicago Tribune.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-05-12
Charming Indeed.

Van Cloye-Miss Peachblow is as
beautiful as-as-
IchabOd-As what?
Van Clove-Well, as her own photo
graph!-Town Topics.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-05-12

Mrs. Mermet-She didn't write home
from her wedding trip that she had the
best husband in the world.-N. Y.
Truth.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-05-12
A Round of Pleasure.

Belle.How would you like to enjoy cen.
fury of bliss?
Bettie-Oh, have, you know. Will and
I enjoyed one last summer, on his tandem.
-Yonkers Statesman.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-05-12
So Sad.

So Sad.
When he sat down beside her
The color left her cheeks.
And, oh! upon his coat sleeve
1t fingered there for weeks!
IN. Y. Evening Journal.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-05-12

How did you first find out that you
loved me, darling?''
II found myself getting angry every
time pa called you an idiot" ALLY
Sloner
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-05-12
And He GQfa IT,

Ted-What kind of fellow is it that buys
green goods?
Ned-He must be man who wants money
bad.-N. Y. Journal.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-05-12
THE DAWN OF WOMANHOOD.

Earnest From Mrs Pina Mothers Who Have Daughters
a Letter From Dunmore Of somervine, Mass
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-05-12
NOT EXACTLY SUITED.

Mr.. Secondtime-Well, I'll be hanged!
When I took her to be my second wife
she said she would be kind to her step.
son, but this is too much!-N. Y. Even.
ing Journal.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-05-12
Bad EruptiOnS''
sores Broke Out and Discharges
But Hoods Cured.

sores Broke Out and Discharges
But Hoods Cured.
MY son had eruptions and sores on his
face which continued to grow worse in
spite Of medicines. The sores discharged
great deal. A friend whose child had
been cured of similar trouble by Hoods
Sarsaparilla advised me to try it. began
giving the boy this medicine AID he was
soon getting better. He kept on taking
it until he was entirely cured and he has
never been bothered with eruptions
SINCE" MRS. EVA DoLBEARE, Horton, Ill.
s e:;iiis
Americas Greatest Medicine. 81: six for IS.
Prepared only by C. I. Hood & Co.. Lowell. Mass.
AAOOA . ITO pills. aid digestion. Csc.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1898-05-12
A Greaf Relief.

With Badger times are no longer rough;
With joy on his way he goes.
He's succeeded in borrowing money enough
To pay every cent he owes.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1898-11-09
FLAMES II THE CAPITOL.
Vast Damage to the Great Building at
Washington.


WAsHINGToN, Nov. 6-An e1T lo5ion
and FIRE at 5:l3 this afternoon partially
wrecked the Supreme court room and the
rooms Immediately adjoining it on the
main floor of the capitol. The damage
Is enormous. The entire central eastern
part OF the great marble pile. from the
main floor 20 the subterranean basem Mt,
practically is mass of ruins. The foFce
of the explosion was so heavy that the
coping stones on the outer walls, just east
ofthe point where tie explosion occurred,
were bulged out nearly two inches win
dows in all that part Of the building were
blown out, and locked doors were for
ced from their hinges $50 feet from the
scene.
Fire followed the explosion so quickly
as 20 seem practically simultaneous. The
explosion occurred d in a small room tightly
enclosed by heavy stone walls in the sub
terraneln basement Immediately below
the main entrance to the old capitol
building. In this room was a 500 ligh;
gas meter which was fed by a four-ineh
main. Very little gas is used in that part
of the building, bat at the time of the ex-
plosion the gas had not been turned of at
the meter. The mete' itself was wreck
ed and the gas pouring from the main
caught fire. Tue flames darted up the
shaft OF the elevator, which had been
completely destroyed by the explos ion,
aud communicated with the record room
Of the Supreme court, the Office OF the
marshal of the court and the Supreme
court library. Before the flames could he
subdued the priceless documents in the
record room had been almost totally de
strOyed and serious damage had been
done in the marshal's office and some
minor rooms in the immediate vicinity.
The library Of the Supreme court, To-
Gated Immediately benesth the Supreme
court room. was badly damaged by FIRE,
smoke and water, partially destroyin
the great collection of 1900 law reference
books. Justice Harlan said tonight that
the library was very valuable. Many of
the works il contained would. he thought
be difficult to replace. Librarian Clarke
expressed the opinion that many Of the
books could be saved, although they had
been drenched by water
TIE most serious damage is 10 the rec
ords stored in the sub. basement. includ
ing all the records Of the Supreme court
from 1872 10 1872. Apparently the tocu-
ments in this room are either totally de-
stroyed or 80 badly damaged by hIe and
water as u be useless. Justice Harlan
said that while the loss Of the records was
irrepsrable il was fortu nate that The later
records Of the coart, which are kept in
the Office the clerk oh the msia floor,
were not injured. The clerks office was
not in the least damaged by fire and the
explosion did no damage in il except 10
bloN out one window.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1898-11-09
Rope Ready for cuban Chief.

SANTIAGO DE CUBA, November The
Cuban General Perez recently ordered
the trial by court martial Of one Of his
men on a charge Of deserting and the
prisoner was condemned to death, but
before the sentence was executed notifi-
cation was sent 70 Colonel Ray. who laid
the matter before Brigsdier General
Wood. commander OF the military de-
partInent Of Santiago. General PER- z
was at once informed that IL the man wss
executed Perez and the firing party would
be hinged as soon as the Courts could
legally sentence them. Perezswas also
notified that the man must be turned
over the American authorities If there
was aSharge against him. or be released
Rays action was on the ground that the
Americans are ruling Santiago judicially
a. well as miliArily.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1898-11-09

tention of the Cubans n the fact that
President Mckinley bas set spart No
vember "A as the day, and asking the
people of the island to observe it. The
Americans who are now with him at
Santiago, and those on other parts OF
the island, will need no reminder Of
the event. They are even now prepar-
ing for il, and, believing that no
Thanksgiving Day is complete with
out turkey. are writing to their friends
in this land for a supply of these big
birds.
The Cubans certainly ought to be
ready for Thanksgiving day. If there
are any people in the world to-day who
have been signally blessed during the
year, they can be found in Cuba. In
their interest, and for the sake Of Civ
ing them freedom from the oppression
and tyranny Of Spain, this nation has
been to war, at a cost Of milliOps upon
millions of money and several thousand
lives. 1t has gained for them liberty
which they would probably never have
been able TO gain for themselves. The
battle has been fought for them with
out cost to them, and without any great
sacrifices an their part.
Just at present some of them do not
appreciate as they should the valse OF
the work which this country has done
for them. They have been fighting for
so long that they do not seem to realize
that the time has come to stop When
the last of the Spanish soldiers have
left the island for good, when peace and
stable government have been estab-
lished through the length and breadth
Of the island, then, we are convinced,
all the Cubans will come to a full reali-
zation Of the great blessings that have
been vouchsafed TO them during this
wear.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1898-11-09

HENRY NORMAN, the new London
correspondent of the New York Times,
sends some interesting and astonishing
facts about England's stupendons prep
a .ations for war. All the ships have
been fully manned, armed and provi'-
ioned. One day last week there were
10000 officers and men at Devonport
alone. The coastguard and the vOlun-
teer artillery have received the fEst mo-
Utilization warning. Orders for 200, 600
tons of smokeless powder have been
placed. Among the rush of orders are
contracts for million pounds Oftobaeco
and thousand TASKS of special wine
for administering the last sacrament,
provisions are pouring in by the ship
LOAF. "To my knowledge says Mr..
Norman, "'the Admiral who would take
chef command of the British navy in
war has urgently advised the Cabinet
to order a complete mobilization"
What does il all mean? Nobody
seems to know, or if anybody does
kaow, he will not tell. Let US hope
that il is for effect and not for actual
fl citing. A great war at the end of
this century would be an indescribable
slaughter, and the Civilized world does
not want to see it.