Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1898-09-10
BILLINGS QUEERsD HIMSELF
Wouldn't Call His Colonial House n Bun
galow and wouldn't Have Den.

RulOW MIA W quinn nave Deus
ut is all right for Il man to DO a
snob in the city If he chooses, but it
makes him very unpopular in the
country" said Mr. Suburbanite rs
he settled back in his chair. Now,
there is Billings" he added pointed
".
Billings is no snob, " said Brown.
He is an old friend of mine, and
III bank on Billings every time"
"That was what l said before he
built Il house in my town. told
every one that Billings was all
right, and now that Billings has
queered himself am in hot water.
Billings was not man who was
in the habit of queering himself.
What did he doi Shoot Il neighbours
dog9"
"Oh, not" replied Suhurbanite
YEARLY. Billings otfense was more
serious than that. He declined to
call his house the Bungalow, and
every one of his neighbors resented
it. In fact, he wouldn't name the
house at all"
THAT is to his credit" said
Brown.
mo, it isn't-where Billings
lives" said Suburbanite "If you
have any local pride at all, you are
bound to call your house the Bunga-
low 1t is absolutely necessary.
Billings told me that he had
built colonial house, and if he did
that would let him out Of course
it would be absurd to call colonial
house Il bungalow.
THAT was just what Billings was
foolish enough to say" said Sub
urbanite, land unfortunately four
colonial houses in his part of town
were each called the Bungalow.
You see, the local dealer in note pa
per agreed several years ago to get
up special brand headed the
Bungalow, with the number and
street added to suit the purchaser, if
he were sure of having at least a
dozen customers who would order
it. Owing to death and fire the num-
Der of bungalows had been reduced
to II when Billings began to build,
and the paper dealer was complain
ing When the rumor went the
rounds of the bowling clubs and
whist clubs that Billings had reject
ed the name bungalow, there was
commotion, can tell you. As had
vouched for Billings delegation of
indignant house owners called on
me at once and asked me if Billings
wanted to hurt the town.or if he
was merely a snob. defended him
as best could, but it was no use.
Poor Billings!' said Brown.
THAT was not his only otfenso,"
continued Suburbanite. when he
gave his house warming, he thought
that he could make his neishbors
forget the Bungalow incident by his
hospitality. He had Hungarian
band and a caterer from New York,
and his house was we'll decorated.
Poor Billings! Some one should have
coached him. One of the first guests
to arrive was q woman who has three
daughters who are popular. Conse-
quently she is something of social
power. She admired Billings par
lors, his dining room and his billiard
room and then said:
Nov, Mr.. Billings, as a near
neighbor and friend am going
to ask you favor. I think the key
note of every mans house is his
den. It indicates his tastes and fads,
you know, and I am going to ask
you to show me your den.'
"'But l haven't got any den, said
Billings.
"'Now, Mr.. Billings she persist
ed, that is hardly fair. I am so anx-
ious to see itl'
Really there is no such place
in my house, he said. I suspect
that you mean one of those stuffy
little cubby holes usually filled up
with a lot of trash until you can't
move and cherished as the exclusive
retiring place Of the master Of the
house. called to see my plumber
while the house was building, and
he took me up to see his den, as he
called it. The place was we'll named.
You certainly didn't think that I
would have a den in my housei'
Livery house in the neighbor-
hood has a den,' she answered
sharply, and some of them are
quite as nice houses as yours, Mr..
Billings
Before the evening was ended
several other women asked Mr.. Bill
ings where his den was, and when
it became known that to add to his
offensive rejection of the Bungalow
he had neglected to fit up den his
doom was sealed. Billings says that
he paid for the house and he can do
as he chooses with it, but surely he
has made two mistakes"
Poor BillingA" said Brown
again. New York Sun.
Tho Desire to Seem Wicked.
Why is it that men who do not
know four card flush from an ace
full on kings will look at their near
est neighbors in knowing way and