The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1898-10-06
yforyeffes.

mdCCor where III t1drlou MrS. Dluklo
lives. All the neighbors on her block
know how poor old Biffkle looks about
seven mornings in the week.
90, you," she snarled at him; "you
make me tired, you do If you had a
spark of courage you would go away
and join the army"
"You don't think Pm coward, do
you, Sarah?" inquired Biffkle with
some show of remonstrance.
eyes, yon are, an arrant coward, too"
Biffkle sighed profoundly.
go, Sarah" he said bitterly, show can
you say that? Have you forgotten that
1 have been living with you for fifteen
years ?"-Truth.
AT variety entertainment given in
aid of a popular institution one of the
"turns" was ventriloquist. AS this
gentleman was recognized as one OF
the cleverest members of his profess
sion, ! is appearance was looked for
ward to with much interest. AT last it
came. The stage attendants carried
on to the stage three dressed figures,
seated in chairs, as usual. The profess
or followed, and then went through an
astonishing performance. No one
could detect muscle of his face move
during the laughable dialogues, and
the changes of voice seemed marvel
lous.
On retiring the applause was deafen-
ing, and the yentrilOquist had to return
again and again to thank the audience
for their appreciation. A couple of
minutes or SO after, when the audience
were talking amongst themselves as to
how it was done, they were thunder
struck to see the three figures get up
from the chairs and walk off the stage
also; but on realizing how completely
they had been 'sold," the laughter was
uproarlOus. The professor had got
three of his friends to take the place of
his usual clay" figures for that night
only.
A brace of excellent parsons, each
the rector of large city parish-per-
hapS it would be more kind not to par
tlcularlZe further-Spent their vaca-
ton together this summer, and have
just returned from their outing in the
Santa Cruz mountains. They cOnfided
to their bishop, upon their return, a
somewhat humiliating experience,
which was theirs. AS, of course, the
right rev. preIate would not think of
violating their confidence, they cannot
understand how the story leaked out.
1t should be stated that, althou IN
they are both admirable parish priests
and good preachers, their music is not
all that it ought to be, and, in frank
ness, they sing woefully out of tune.
They had with them in their mountain
camp a facetious Mexican named Pablo,
as their guide and factotum, and Pab-
los burro as their beast of burden.
One evening before turning in, the
good men devoutly but rather labori.
ously said prayers and sang the church
hymn, 1--WE Love Thy Kingdom Lord"
They were well through the first stanza
when the burrO joined in with pro-
longed and most unmelodious Chez
haw."
Much perturbed at this apparent af-
front, Pablo FASTENED round, with a
dlsh-tOWel in his hand and an express
sion Of great concern on his swarthy
cOuntenance.
"He like your singing" said Pablo
appologetically. Gle think he know
the tune."-San Francisco News Letter.
o*o
Soon after Colonel Andy Burt was
promoted to the colonelcy of the Twen-
ty-ffth colored regiment he undertook
to exercise his troops in more ways
than one in Camp Thomas, Chicka-
manga. He informed them that they
would have to play ball an hour each
day in order to get accustomed to the
southern sun.
"NoW,' said the colonel, "yOu boys
come out and we will take turn at
ball playing. Pm not Colonel Burt
while playing. but simply Andy Burt.
Now, play ball."
1t soon came the colonel's time at
the bat, and with vicious swipe he
drove the ball hard past second for
three bags. A large, greasy, black SOL
dier was doing the coaching act, and
yelled as the colonel made dive for
first. "Run, you tallow-f faced, knock
kneed, dabergastered. ..........,
get your three bags"
The colonel stopped at first, turned
on his heel returned to the hOma-plate