The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1898-03-18
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cIV"ucu theaier ike this, don't your
Shelves; there are too many peonla
around. Life.
Hawlklns--"So you sent for doctor,
Does he think you will be out soon %
Robblns-'T imagine so. He said ho
wished l had sent for him sconer.p-
Puck
There's a burglar In the houser' she
gasped. II have never yet uncovered
my head for any man." her husband re-.
Joined, with an affectation Of hauteur
Puck.
"Darling." he cried. and threw him
self at her feet. The naughty damsel
shiyered, as In apprehension. "That
low Princeton tacklev she muttered.
striving to be calm.-Life.
She (reading)-"Mice are fond Of
music, and Will get as close to 1t as
they can" He-"Just cut that out and
III send 1t to the girl In the next
fiat. "-Yonkcrs Statesman.
Recruiting Sergeant-"Do You know
anything about the drillY Recruit
"Av coorse. Didn't OF jist tell We Oh
wurked In a quarry these foive year
pastY'-Philadelphia Record.
Beginning early: Bridegroom =
Where shall we go, dearest-Niagara
Fails or Washington" Bride-'We
might go to both places and see which
we like best."-Brooklyn Life.
Elsie-"When all the boys sing to-
gether 1t is just charming. But why
don't you have soloists in your glee
club" Teacher-"They prefer to d.
vide the responslbllity"-Pr Princeton
Tiger.
Wickwlre-'I like Timmns' stories.
He has such light touch" Smmins-
Yes, that's one thing In Timmins' ia
vor; he rarely strikes one for more than
two or three dollars. "-Indlanapolis
Journal.
Mr.. Grumpy" said the chronic bor-
rover, "rm financially embarrassed
today. Can you help me outY Cheer
fully Then Grumpy kicked his caller
through two offices and a long hanway.
Detroit Free Press.
Household Diplomacy: eyes, al
ways give Dickie magic-lantern ev-
cry Christmas" why do you do
thatY 1T keeps my husband at home
for several nights trying to make it
work. Detroit Free Press.
81 never 60 anything by halves" re-
marked the man who was hurrying
along the street. THAT'S all right
mister" replied Meandering Mike, who
had just overtaken him; "a quarter or
seventy-fvc cents IL do" Washington
Star.
Henry-"Dld 1t ever occur to your
mind that some of the greatest works
Of literature have been wrought out in
prlsonY William-"Yes; why would
MT 1t he n good idea to send about two
dozen of our rising young authors to
allY-Indlanapolis Journal.
IL had the worst kind of luck In the
Klondike," said the returned gold
seeker. Didn't you find any goldT
asked his friend. "Oh, yes, l found
gold. But every time | had three of
kind ! was dead sure to run up
against n full house. Puck.
Tom-"Did you give Miss Gotrox
Christmas presentT Jack-'I tried
to. offered her myself you know"
Tom-"And she refused your Jack
Il suppose that's what it amounts to.
She said she didn't believe 1t was right
for girl to accept very costly gifts
. Brooklyn Life.
do you know why 1t is that so many
! explorers seek the Arctic and so few
the Antarctic regionsY "Well, think
could make a pretty good guess.
''WhyY "The Arctic regions are not
= quite so far away from the headquar-
tiers of the managers of the lecture
/ bureaus. Chicago Post.
Mrs. Hymen-"I am afraid you do
not think so much of me, Charles, as
you used to. l can remember when
you declared was worth my weight in
gold" MIR. Hymen-"That's what 1
still saw. but you must remember that
you have lost at least twenty pounds
the last year" Boston Transcript.
I, what do you think? My wife's
father told me before we got married
that he would give me a handsome
present on our wedding day "And
didn't heY" well, l waited over a
week. and as he didn't mention the
/, subject, asked him for It; and all he
said was: why, didn't l give you my
daughter? Philadelphia Bulletin.
"Of course" he said, rehectively, Il
, am not making any complaint about 1t.
= All | desire to say is that can't under
stand it," you can't understand
T, what?" inquired his wife. ''Why can
you put gllded spheres and gaudy fab
rlcs all over n Christmas tree six feet
:. high and four thick for seventy-hye
:. cents. when 1t costs at least SIS to
> trim a bonnet four inches in diameter.
A., Washington Star.
a Merchant presenting itemlzed state
= menD-'Look that over Mr.. Literal
and send me check at your leisure
f And, by the way, let me congratulate
you on your marriage. l must say that
the lady is one of the most charming II
was ever my pleasure to meet. an
certain she must make you most eX
; cellent Wife" Mr. Literal examining
d statemenD-'T must confess that she
fills the bill."-BOstOn Courier.