The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1898-04-16
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laSI night, anu ne gave me Ohe' LIZ
must have kept the best one. "-Yonkers
Statesman.
In their stateroom: Brown-"Con-
found you, you're using my tooth
brushw Sonderhausen--"I beg your
pardon. 1 linked 1t yos re ships
Plck-Me-Up.
Jabbers-"I woke up last night and
found burglar in my ROOM" Hayers
-"Cateh himg' Jabbers-"Certalnly
not. I'm not making a collection of
burglars. Puck.
Hell told your father we expected
TO be married next month, and he was
wild" She-'What did he sayf He
HE wanted to know why we couldn't
make 1t next week."-Puck.
"Once friend Of mine and agreed
that 1t would be helpful for each of us
to tell the other his faults" How did
it work. 1--WE haven't spoken for
nine years."-Chicago Record.
Hubbard "slmpkins has got over his
nervous prostratlon." Pease-"How
can you tell? Hubbard-''Why, met
him on the street last night, and he
wanted to borrow twenty dollars
Puck.
anne, your daughtalre hat re bad tenn
paire." The Mamma-"Ah, yes, count.
but you know she loses her temper so
easily" The Count-"Ah, how loafy."
Detroit Journal.
AT no Time" said the philosopher, sis
a man so willing to take the burden
from the weak shoulders of frail wo-
man as when she is harassed with the
care of large and paying property
indianapolis Journal.
He-"The sight of an old schoolmate
is-er-well, it might be called both
meat and drink" She-"Yes, that's
what you men usually do under the cir
cumstances." He-"EhT She-"Meet
and drink. "-Indianapolls Journal.
Il suppose classical music is all right
In it's place" said Maud. I'm sure 1t
Is" replied Mamie; Il don't care TO
listen to 1t myself, but sometimes you
have to play it in order 10 get u man
TO go home. Washington Star.
''These shoes you sold me last week
squeak so that they Keep me awake
nights" said the customer. entering the
shoe-store. MY dear sir" replied the
shoe-dealer reassurngly, you should
MT sleep In them.'-Yonkers States
man.
Valet Ito officers fiancee)-"My lieu
tenant has sent me to bring you this
bouquet of flowers plucked by his own
hands" Fiancee-"0h, how poetic!
And how long 1t must have taken to
gather them" Yalet-'lndeed, miss, II
took me nearly three hours"
Clerk-"I wouldn't like to cut this
piece of lace just for one yard. madam;
and, besides, that isn't enough to trim
anything" Shopper-"Oh. | didn't
want it for trimming; but It's so nice
TO have piece of lace about the house
as an heirloom, you know."-Puck.
do you like being under the mistle-
toe?" he asked, tenderly, just after the
thirty ninth kiss. She looked into his
eyes and sighed. "All have to say"
she murmured, "is that my last dying
wish will be to have some of 1t planted
on my grave" Then they resumed
Puck.
why has Mrs. Langdon left her nus
band and gone back to her parents?"
-She got to rummaging through his pa
pers the other day and found the re-
ceipt for his first wlfe's engagement
ring. 1t cost twenty dollars more than
he paid for the second one."-Chicago
News.
African Explorer (dumbfounded)-
what, you, Clarence We're de We're, In
the heart of darkest Afrlca What in
the world are you doing hereY' Clar-
,ence We're de Yere-"I'm wearing the
mecktie Miss Darling gave me for
Christmas. / promised her would,
you know.'-Puek.
"You have been very generous In buy
ing Mabel new gowns" remarked Mrs, !
Cumrox. Eyes" was the reply; y !
don't like that man who pays her so
much attention" II don't see what
that has to do with It," Il desire to
give him something to think about
when i ask him II he can support her
In the style to which she has been ac-
customed. "-Washlngton Star.
Papa Brlndle-"Matllda. l seriously !
object 10 you encouraging the atten-
tons of that young Spooler. He is the
most rakish-looking youth ever saw"
do you mean, papa"
pana Brlndle-"Why. | mean the way |
he wears his hat on one side" Matilda
--Srbat isn't rakishness, papa" Papa |
is It, thenY Matilda !
..It's a boil."-Cleyeland Plain Dealer.
II never saw n man so cut up as old
Rex Is over the death of his book-keep- !
err. And yet you have always said that
he had no heart and regarded his EN-
ployes as mere machines" iii tell
Won something on the quiet. The book
leeper was abont three thousand dol
lars behind in his accounts. aud old
Rox WINS keeping him on and making
him work 1t ut."-Cincinnati Enquirer
4Oh. PAP exclaimed the dear girl, her
sapphire eyes Drumming with unshed
ears, show can you say that society Is
,ollow?" "Why shouldn't ~ retorted
"a, with coarse laugh that betrayed
he fact that he had paid more atten-
ION to making money than TO acgulr-
NO nolisI,-"why shouldn't /. when ]
ave to pay the bills for feeding the
,ang that you haSe here at your blow
uts Y'-Indlanapoli Journal