Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1898-12-11

too poor to supply herself with this In
visible toggery necessarily doesn't want
herself to be outswished by those who
have few pence more. And then there
has been fraud In the matter, too. Some
times girl who cannot buy O whole silk
petticoat will line her skirt with a four
inch strip OF the costly dry goods and
thus get the sound without actually ha.v-
ing the real thing. Recent Investigations
have shcwn. however, that no energetic
woman need be outswisbed IL she's got
any gumption. A Kansas female has dis
covered trick by which she ties sand
paper to her ankles and exactly repro
duccs the rustic of the SIS article. So
II is very plain that there is no necessity
for any further discord. but after all.
what's the use of trying to act as the
white-winged angel Of peace when a lot
of women are out for gore. When they
are looking for trouble, fur Is going to
fly, no matter what we men fix do.
The Hon. George w. Peck, author OF
"Peck's Bad Boy" who recently lectured
at the Young Mems Christian Associa-
ton, said, in the course Of his talk. that
people who suffer from dyspepsia Feed
not expect to get any pleasure out Of
boys. i think he was very nearly COR
rect. II he had put in the same category
consumptives. rheumatics, lepers. and
those who suffer from cholera. eczema,
scrofula, fever, chills, sprains. burns,
corns, callous spots, bunyons, ingrowing
nails, toothache, headache, govt, and a
few other complaints, think he would
have been entirely right. In other words.
about the only persons who get any real
pleasure out of boys are the boys them
selves, and they soon outgrow their fond
ness in this direction. Don't talk to me
about boys. Theoretically they make
mighty good heroes for Sunday -schooi
books, but there never was one that wore
pants who didn't make himself nuisance
before he reached m"7's estate.
The late Edgar Wilson Nye, better
known to the literary world as "Bill
Nye," once figured in a runaway acct
dent, and. from his own account, he APP
pears TO have Jared much worse than the
horse Indeed, Bill bruised several of
the stones, he fell so hard, but for all
that he bore no malice towards any one,
and even appears to have forgiven the
horse. Here's the charitable way in which
he alluded to the occurrence.
1.-THE accident was not so serious as II
might have been, and so far as / am con-
1T was a great success. 1 very rarely
take hold Of anything that does not pro-
duce amusement for some one.
Most every one said that l fell this
time with my usual technique and a great
deal OF aplomb and other kinds Of force.
struck right on the crazy bone of my
back, and knocked one or two vertebrate
loose. They will have to be pulled.
1T Jared my constitution some and
concussed the preamble, but my divine
affiatus is all right, and my thinker does
not wobble as l thought 1t would
81 am still confined to the house, but
the horse is feeling tiptop. / never saw
horse with more robust constitution. l
would give anything IL L could recover
from the effects of an accident as fast as
that horse seems to. Yours truly,
BILL NYE"
Ir a private letter to a friend, written
many years ago, the great humorist thus
dubbed forth on the subject OF printing.
1T has been asserted that printing is
not a healthy business, and that one OF
its chief ailments is lead poisoning. I can
testify to this from personal knowledge.
a friend OF mine once started paper out
in Arizona some years ago, and he had
not been running 1t six months before he
died from lead-poisoning. 1t was a A.
calbre Smith &c Wesson, in the hands of
a wild-eyed miner, which caused the at
tack. 1t was fatal, and he has been dead
ever since.