davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1897-1902, 1898-12-27
LET TIE CONSTITUTION FORBID IT

From the New York Journal
1t is evident that the question of the adj
mission of the polygamist. Brigham H.
Roberts. to congress is settled. The upris-
Ing OF American womanhood has not only
made 1t certain that the house will not dare
to seat the proprietor of a harem among the
lawmakers of the United States. but has
even terrified the Mormon leaders them
selves into believing that they may have
gone too far. and that their safest plan
will be to withdraw Roberts and substi-
tute some representative who is not living
In open violation of the laws of society
But the matter should not stop here
Roberts Is of no Importance In himself-hc
Is only symptom. His brazen attempt
to carry the practices of Mohammed to the
national capital Eliminates the growing
strength Of a doctrine that threatens to I'M
dermine all that has made the strength of
the American character. Poygamists are
not only dominant in Utah. but they are
powerful in Idaho, Montana, Colorado, Wy
oming New Mexico. Arizona and Nevada.
From their stronghold by the Great Salt
Lake they are spreading their detestable
doctrine over all the neighboring states.
and a thousand missionaries are carrying
them to the east and Europe. If we allow
this criminal social system to develop I'M
disturbed, we may find before long that 1t
has cut the backbone of the continent GU.
of American civilization.
There are six states in which, matters
stand the polygamists have a reasonable
hope of being able soon to carry on their
practices without molestation. 1t is the
duty of the nation to come to the aid of the
imperilled morality of those common
wealths. AS the constitution now provides
no means of doing that. 1t is the business of
the people to create one.
A constitutional amendment prohibiting
polygomy Is the thing demanded by the
present situation. Slavery was suppressed
by one such amendment Let the twin
relic of barbarism" be killed by another.
The age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1897-1902, 1898-12-27
The Consolidation Problems.

"It will not be long," says the Pratt City
Independent, before Ensley and Pratt City
will be built into one, with population In
the census report rivaling that of preten-
tious Birmingham" There is not so very
much exaggeration in the foregoing para
graph. 1t may all come true by 1910.
And yet neither Ensley nor Pratt City,
nor both united, nor Bessemer, nor any
other suburb can represent to the mass of
mankind-to the stranser-the mineral dis
trct of the state. Birmingham must con
tinue to do that, and people in other states
will at once say that the mineral resources
of Alabama cannot be very extensive or
very valuable if the central, focal town of
the district contains only 10000 people, or
thereabouts.
Birmingham itself Is not materially in
creased by the growth of its suburbs, al
though the suburbs derive their life-blood
from the town which is the heart Of the
district. These suburbs very naturally de-
sire to keep on securing advantages free
from cost Like all the rest of the world,
they prefer to get something for nothing;
but 1t is a question whether for the good
of the district and the state consolidation
should be any longer postponed. Consolda-
ton based on the vote of tho district inter-
ested Is wholly defensible on home-rule
principles. The question seems to be in its
last analysis shall selfshness be permitted
to have it's way in the suburbs. or shall the
entire district be consolidated, as 1t would
have been in any other locality long ago?
This is a question for the legislature to-
decide, and every member of the legisa-
ture is interested in the result just as he is
interested in constitutional convention. If
consolidation will further the reputation
and good name and prosperity of the state,
then consolidation should be placed before
the people of the district interested. There
will always be protests while there are peo-
pie who want to, gather as many benefits
as they can, and as few burdens. The
tax-evaders will protest to the end of time,
but not one of their protests need be or
should be needed.
This matter of consolidation cuts very
deep, and it deserves much more careful
consideration than it has thus far received.
The age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1897-1902, 1898-12-27
REFLECTIONs or A BACHELOR

From the New York Press.
It's an III wind that blows no woman's
skirts.
Devils don't worry half as much about it
as saints.
The devil shows you the worst side first.
The rest makes 1t seem better.
The foolishest thing is when the prettiest
part of the stocking is at the top.
Goodness wouldn't seem half SO uninter-
esting to women If 1t didn't wear such
plain clothes.
Any woman who thinks about It will ad-
nit that Adam deserved to fall because he
did not increase Ewes allowance for pin
money.
The age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1897-1902, 1898-12-27
ABOUT THE SIZE OF 1T

From the Nashville American.
We believe vast majority Of the voters
in this country favor giving Cuba and the
Philippines good government, but we are
equally sure they will never vote for any
party which even squints at schemes for
giving up these islands, or selling them to
some other nation. They are not built that
way If tho Cubans and Filipinos can gov
ern themselves, all right; II not, up goes
Old Glory never to be hauled down. De-
mocracy can gain nothing by obstruction;
it may win by seeing that honest methods
are practiced toward all people.
The age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1897-1902, 1898-12-27
KNAAK DRUNK AND KNAAK SOBER

from the PhiladeIphfa Times.
Appeal has been made from Knaak
drunk to Knaak sober, with gratifying sue
cess Knaak drunk called the emperor
sleeps head and was run in by the Ber-
lin police. 1t was Knaak sober that was
put on trial, and the testimony showed that
Knaak sober had always expressed high
esteem for the emperor. The court there
fore wisely decided to discharge Knaak
sober and say no more about Knaak
drunk This Is a happy solution of a case
that might have become an international
incident. 1t saves any amount of trouble,
and sacrifices nobody's dignity. And here
after Knaak, whether sober or drunk, will
be more cautious in the expression of his
opinions.
The age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1897-1902, 1898-12-27

The Standard Oil company has books as
we'll as money to burn, for it recently
burned nine boxes and six sacks of books
and papers. The Ohio supreme court had
a finger In the burning.
The age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1897-1902, 1898-12-27

The despairers of the republic are OF
course agin' ratification. One wing OF them
is led by Senator Vest. and the other by
Carl Schurz.
The age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1897-1902, 1898-12-27

Governor Pingree seems to think that
senatorial duty should not be confined to
terrapin dinners. Here in Alabama it is
thought to include the Improvement OF the
Warrior river.
The age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1897-1902, 1898-12-27

The whole world will soon look to Amer
lea for its iron and steel supplies and prod
ucts, and Birmingham Will have the bar
gain counter of the American trade.
The age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1897-1902, 1898-12-27

The white wash board dismissed General
Miles as soon as it, decently could. He
could have been Intercepted as to many
interesting matters, but the whitewashers
were afraid of him.
The age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1897-1902, 1898-12-27

The Chinese coolies do a good share Of
the work required In Cuba. They took no
part In the war and are industrious and
saving.
The age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1897-1902, 1898-12-27

Colonel Roosevelt's report OF September
Is Is the one the public wants to see, and
It 10 the one General Alger withholds from
the people.
The age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1897-1902, 1898-12-27

Governor-elect Roosevelt says he will
ments to make. The machine will soon
put on mourning or disband. for Mr.. Plat
is the boss go-between.
The age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1897-1902, 1898-12-27

1t was the American rapid-1re gun--the
Maxims-that reconquered from the Arabs
the Egyptian Soudan. 1t has changed the
map of Africa.
The age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1897-1902, 1898-12-27
HOBSON'S HALO

From the Syrocuse Standard
The halo above Hobson's head is sprie
of mistletoe. &
The age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1897-1902, 1898-12-27

Houston celebrated Its passage of the
wo-milion-bale. mark. and it expects to
receive 100000 more bales.
The age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1897-1902, 1898-12-27

The NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. are all great con-
stitutional lawyers, who know more than
he supreme court itself
The age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1897-1902, 1898-12-27

''Embalmed beef" is a prhase that has
come to stay, as well as the tree that Mr..
Quay proposed to shake.
The age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1897-1902, 1898-12-27

The year 1898 is chiefly remarkable for
map-making events and prosperity.
The age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1897-1902, 1898-12-27

Automobile carriages are rapidly coming
Into use in New York.
The age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1897-1902, 1898-12-27

Havana seems to have everything except
a sanitary inspector who will inspect and
renovate
The age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1897-1902, 1898-12-27

Trade follows a big lad" much quicker
and better than 1t does the national en-
blem. Try 1t.
The age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1897-1902, 1898-12-27

1t was typical Christmas weather In all
parts of the country.
The age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1897-1902, 1898-12-27

at once laid it away for use next week.
at once laid it away gfor use next week.
The age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1897-1902, 1898-12-27

Ex-?Commissioner Day thinks each men,
Der Of the commission will have to get
The age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1897-1902, 1898-12-27

along on $4,000 and an allowance for sex-
penses.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1898-04-29
Here Are Pedisrees for You.

The Grosvenor family dukes of West
minster) trace their pedigree in Eng
land back to 1866, having come over with
William the Conqueror, while the fam
lily in Normandy from which they are
directly descended fourished there for
at least a century and half before the
Conquest, SO that the family pedigree
goes back for close upon thousand
years. The most ancient family in
Great Britain is that of the Earl of Mar,
in Scotland. Lord Hailes, speaking of
the title, says: ''It existed before our
records and before the era of genuine
history, being an earldom whose origin
is lost in antiquity" The Campbells, to
whom belongs the present duke of Ar
gyll, began in 1870. Of the 400 barons
in the British peerage only about a
dozen actually date back 600 years,
The most ancient family in the world
is that of the mikado of Japan, which
has had an unbroken line of descent for
more than $500 years, the present ruler
being the 122d of the linen. Y. Her.
aid.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1898-04-29
Hypnotixing a Hen.

"Did you ever hypnotic chicken ?''
asked Police Commissioner Kind, the
other night. cts dead easy. Just
catch your hen, place it on the floor in
front Of you with its tail toward you.
Take a piece of chalk and draw a
straight line, beginning at point just
under the hens head and extending a
foot and half or more. The bird will
fasten its eyes on the chalk, and in a
twinhling almost she is unconscious OF
anything but that line. You can cuff
and kick her about as much as you
please, but her gaze will Immediately
return to the chalk line. When l was
sailing before the mast it was not an
unusual thing on calm day, when
there was no work in sight, to see a
dozen or more sailors, each with hen
in his hands, drawing chalk marks. II
is the most perfect case of complete
hypnotism ever saw. Just try it some
time if you don't believe it. Toledo
Blade
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1898-04-29
The Feet.

A contemporary points out one or
two facts concerning the feet that can
not be too widely known. We all know
that our feet spread, and take it quite
as a matter of course; but it seems that,
after all, there is no necessity for their
doing so. They spread because we do
not know how to rest them properly.
The feet do not grow, but by resting
them in the wrong way the muscles
have been permitted to take wrong
direction and the foot fiattens. When a
woman finds that the instep of the foot
is tired, she should change her stock
irigs for thin ones and put on slippers,
with totally different heel from that of
the shoe she took off, either higher or
lower. as the case may be. Then she
should lie down, turn upon her face,
and place pillow under the insteps of
both feet, so that every inch of the
breadth of her feet should rest upon
the pillow. When this is done, the foot
is at ease. The muscles rest and
strengthen, and the beautiful arch of
the instep is preserved. Possibly some
may think this is nonsense, but let them
try the above plan of resting when very
tired, and they will be surprised to find
out how successful it really is.-N. y.
Ledger.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1898-04-29

pose some blamed tramp must have
come along, hunting a barn to sleep in,
most likely, and seen it; anyhow,
can't find sign of it anywhere around.
All the children's new summer fiXin's
in it, too, weren't they? And here Jen-
ny an grandma'd sewed a month on
'em. I declare, it's burning shame!
If I'd ever supposed"
But just at this moment it became
evident that the impatience of the
younger Hawkinses could no longer be
depressed. The bedroom door burst
open and in rushed the gay procession,
Haunting the badges of victory. In an
other moment white dress was
perched on either arm of papa's chair,
an animated sailor suit was leaping ex-
citedly in front of him, and the pos
SCISSOR of a real, genuine, unmistakable
first pair of trousers was scrambling
actively about on his knees.
"April Fool" exclaimed the impatient
children.
But papa took out his handkerchief
and wiped the cold perspiration from
off his forehead.
"Blest if ever I was so glad to hear
anybody say that before!" he declared.
IN. Y. Independent.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1898-04-29
PuNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

"Papa, what is meant by taking time
by the forelock?'" ''In most cases, my
son, it is worrying about things that
never happen. &C Chicago News.
Have you ever noticed how war pro-
notes a literature of it's own?" Eyes;
that is one of the horrors of wal"
Philadelphia North American.
Willie Boy-"If promise to learn my
lesson, papa, will. you. give me a quar-
ter?" Papa yes, my son." Willie
Boy-"And what will you give me if I
do learn it ?"-Truth.
In the Nursery.-Little Hans Ito
KARL -"Look here, Karl; we must be
very naughty to-day, SO that we can
promise on papa's birthday tomorrow
that we will be better" - Fliegende
Blaetter.
Saving His Nerves.-'What!" shouted
the stern parent, mot marry my daugh-
ter? Why, sir, you have sat with your
arm about her hour after hour" 'Yes;
that was to keep. her from singing
Detroit Free Press.
"Our representative" says the Punk
vile Bugle, whose editor did not get the
post Office, "has been in congress a
year or thereabouts, and the only meas
ure he has ever opened his mouth about
is a pint" indianapolis Journal.
An Able Man.-"Yes, sir; Blocker
would make money out of anything"
SIS he so lucky?" II should say so.
Why, he married penniless girl two
years ago, and he got her position that
brings him in $1,000 a year" Life.
Fine Distinctions They do pretty
things in Boston," said the Occasional
Liar. ''What do you suppose I saw the
last time I was there?" "Give it up
sang the chorus. ga sign that said
$3.50 pants marked down from eight
dollar trousers !" - Cincinnati En-
quirer.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1898-04-29
SHOE HlEROGLYPHICS.
Occult Symbols Devised to Decei
WOmanlSi ind,

Occult Symbols Devised to Deceive
WOmankind.
"People often asl1sme the meaning of
the apparently crazy hieroglyphics and
figures that are stamped on the inner
side Of the uppers Of ready-made shoes
nowadays" said an + street shoe deal
CT to Star man. 'As every shoe man
ufactory has secret stamp code of it's
own, and there is, therefore, no posi-
bi]ity Of the general public learning
more than that such codes exist, may
as we'll tell you that the vanity of mod
crn mortals, and especially women, is
at the bottom Of these peculiarly
stamped characters and figures. You'd
be surprised to know, for instance, how
many women there are who imagine
that they wear No. shoe, when in
reality their size is couple of figures
larger. A shoe salesman who under
stands his business can tell precisely
the number Of the shoe a woman GUS
toner wears at Il glance. But as often
as not woman whose foot is a No. S
calls for shoe couple of sizes small
er, and the mysterious stamped-hiero-
glyph scheme was devised for the pur
pose of encouraging her in the belief
that her foot is couple of sizes smaller
than it really measures in shoe leather.
"When a woman calls for n number
3 to fit number foot, no shoe sales
man of this era who cares anything for
his job is going to say: Madam, your
foot requires number s. He simply
breaks out a shoe of the style she re-
quests that he feels confident will fit
her comfortably, and let's it go at that.
"A woman rarely thinks to inquire if
the shoe is really of the size she asked
for, for she takes it for granted that the
salesman has given her what she de-
1nanded. But when woman does ask,
for instance: This is a number 3, is it p
it's the salesman's business to unblush-
ingly reply: 'Yes'm, it's a number 81
The woman customer might examine
the hieroglyphs inside the uppers for q
week without finding out any different,
and even if she had the key to the puzzle
it would only make her feel bad, so
what would be the use ?"-Washington
Star.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1898-04-29
Senator Mason On His knees.

A member of the house tells story
on Senator Mason concerning lady
who keeps local boarding house. The
senator boarded there for awhile, as did
the representative. The lady belongs
to one of the well-known churches here
and is very punctual in her attendance
on morning services. For this reason
she insists that her boarders must be
down early for breakfast Sunday morn
ing. The senator was not aware OF this
regulation, and on his first Sunday in
the house came downstairs rather late.
you are not on time this morning,
SENATOR" said the lady, gently, but
rather reprovingly.
NO, madam, l spent half hour on
my knees this morning.
THAT was very praiseworthy of you"
spoke up the boarding mistress.
Hunting for a collar button that
rolled upon the floor and under the
bureau" declared the senator, conclud-
ing his Observation-Disclosures Post.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1898-04-29

sation at the table on Indifferent topics.
This task was the more difficult because
OF the frequent lapses Of memory on the
part Of the accessory conspirators,
which required skillful heading off to
prevent the undoing of the plot.
Mamma, Ella says the pink ribbon
amt SO pretty"
"There, Annie, that will do. You
know mamma doesn't like to have you
and Ella disputing about such things,
least of all at table,"
Papa, don't you think a white dress
with lace in the neck and a ruffie on the
bottom and white shiny buttons be-
hind'll look pretty on me? No, amt,
mamma in answer to an ominous
frown from that parent.
Perhaps the one Aunt Penny said
she'd send will look just as-nice, when
you get it on" said Sarah, coming to
the rescue.
Mamma, can wear my new"
"Tom, pass the sugar to your father
at once; you ought to be more thought
full of his comfort. Now what were you
going to say about your new straw hat,
dear?"
But at last supper was over, and papa
got up and walked carelessly out into
the yard in the direction of the hedge.
Sarah took her chair out to the east
porch, and maliciously seated herself
just where she commanded good view
of his movements.
Papa Hawkins stood and watched
the reflected glow of the sunset on the
eastern sky until he was tired of it. At
last he began to think Sarah never was
going to get up and go away. What
4 was worse, strain his eyes as he might,
1 he couldn't see anything of certain
object which ought to be little way
down the lane, on the other side of the
hedge.
"Guess I'll look for that paper Of
tacks before it gets dark" he explained,
finally. 81 might have dropped it
somewhere coming up the lane"
It was unaccountable what an inter-
est Sarah took in that two-penny paper
of tacls. She insisted on coming down
to help him look for it, against his most
strenuous objections; she suggested all
sorts of hiding places in which it might
have slowed itself, and examined each
most infinitely. But the loss of the
tacks hardly accounted for the anxious
wrinkles that deepened every moment
in Farmer Hawkins worried face
At last he peremptorily sent Sarah
back into the house, lighted the stable
lantern and searched the place thor
oughly, with no success whatever.
Then he sat down on the back porch to
think. He stayed there SO long that
the little Hawkinses began to get sleepy
before he at last came in, looking so
worried that everybody except Sarah
was disposed to relent.
Mother" he began, slowly, seating
himself heavily by the table, ''I've been
a fool, and I don't care if you tell me
SO. l got that box from Jenny's at the
express office to-day, and brought it
home in the wagon. When I got to the
gate, thinks I, instead of taking it on
up to the barn, I'll just drop it here by
the hedge near the house and surprise
'em with it after supper. Well, I sup
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1898-04-29
Salmon PURGE.

Rub smoothly together two teaspoon
fuls of flour and one of butter, tea
spoonful of salt, half as much white
pepper or a little cayenne and a salt
spoonful of mace. Stir into this by de-
grees half a pint of boiling water, and
when perfectly smooth pour it into a
quart of milk heated to boiling, and boil
for five minutes, stirring constantly.
before adding a can of salmon Zone
pound) shredded very fine. Boil all to-
gether for couple of minutes, rub
through heated PURGE sieve or a. fine
colander, reheat if necessary, and serve
very hot with dice of toasted bread.
For very dainty soup use half cream
and half milk. Made thinner by using
less salmon or more milk, this becomes
salmon cream soup.-Ladies' World.