davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1898-11-15

An amusing example of the Irish
mans pronunciation occurs in story
told of the late DIR. Todd, the Irish
arch@ologist, who, although a great
scholar, was not above perpetrating &
practical joke The London Spectator
tells the story and says:
A very learned Englishman went tC
Dublin to examine some manuscript
in the library of Trinity college ant
was of course introduced to DR.. Todd
who one day in conversation told hin
that there was in Trinity college Gu
rious instance of the survival Of a habit
dating from the time of the Danes; that
at a certain hour of the afternoon
think o'clock-a porter went the
round of the college ringing bell anc
calling out in loud voice, 1.-The Danes
in the hall, +" when all the students
rushed from their rooms to repel the in
vaders. So the learned but somewhat
incredulous EngIishman repaired to the
college at o'clock, and, sure enough,
what DR.. Todd had told him came tC
pass, which he Igravely related on his
return to England. The summons Of
course referred to the dean.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1898-11-15

Some one, blaming little girl fo1
her extravaganza, said, "You should
not burn the candle at both ends. -
"Why, is not that the way to make
both ends meet?" retorted the child.
The Hon. Sir NJ Grant Duff, who
noted down this repartee in his
DIARY" mentions also the following
good riddle: "When the day breaks,
what becomes of the piecesr'' "They 90
into mourning" The following are
among the items of pleasant gossip to
be found in the DIARY"
An English peer coming out of the
house of lords met Disraeli for the first
time since he became Lord Beaoonsfeld.
"How do you like this placer" asked
the peer.
well, twas the reply, 81 feel that ]
am dead, but in the Elysian fieldsl"
At a meeting in Exeter hall Bishop
Wilberforoe spoke eloquently, and at
the close of his address the people began
to go away. A gentleman, who, accord
ing to the programme, was to speak,
said to the bishop:
''Ineed not speak. hardly think they
expect me"
ITO be sure they do, retorted the
prelate. Don't you see they are all
goinQ?'
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1898-11-15
Stories of Curran.

Curran could say mordant and cut
ting things, but perhaps no man was
ever insulted with such dialectical neat
ness and righteousness as Curran was
by the famous maker Of bulls" Sir
Boyle Roche, in the Irish house Of com
mons. "The honorable gentleman says
he is the guardian of his own honor, T"
said Roche in reply to speech Of Cur
ran, "but on the other occasions I have
heard him boast that he was an enemy
of sinecures.
Curran was defeated in q converse
tional contest with Lady Morgan, the
Irish novelist, one evening in that lady S
drawing room, when, exaggerating the
prevailing fashion in short sleeves, she
wore merely straps over her shoulders
Curran was walking away from the lit
tie party who witnessed the conflict of
the two wits when Lady Morgan called
out, "Ah, come back, Mr.. Curran, and
acknowledge that you are fairly beaten. 4"
"At any rate" said he, turning round,
81 have this consolation, Lady Morgan,
that you can't laugh at me in your
sleeve Z"
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1898-11-15
The Ghost In "HamIet."

Not many years ago at the Queen
theater, Dublin, during one Of the late
T. O. Kings engagements, Hamlet
was being played to densely crowded
house. The actor portraying the part OF
the Ghost solaced himself during his
long wait from the first to the third act
by perusing the evening paper, using
his spectacles in so doing. Being inter
ested in some article probably the
weights" for an important handicap,
he delayed leaving the greenroom until
the moment of hearing his cue, when,
hastily snatching up his truncheon, he
rushed upon the stage without his beard
of ''sable silvered" or reno, zig his spec.
tacles.
A litter greeted his appearance, but
still the solemnity of the darkened stage
and the fine acting Of King as Hamlet
prevented any great outburst until the
Queen, replying to Hamlet's question,
"Do you see nothing there?" answered,
Nothing at all. Yet all that is l see, =
when a voice from aloft exclaimed,
LEND her your specs, old boy, follow
ed by another: "Hould your row. Sure
he's put them on to see to shave him.
self. "-Cornhill Magazine.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1898-11-15
.sma1I Cap" shafter.

"Pecos Bill is not the only nickname
that General Shafter ever enjoyed, . said
an old newspaper man the other day.
"Out in Denver he was known for years
as Small Cap. Shafter, and as he is
anything but small the title calls for an
explanation. 1t seems that banquet of
some sort had been given to lot of
army officers, and among the guests was
General, then Colonel, Shafter. The old
Denver Tribune printed an account Of
the affair, and list of those present
was included in the article.
"When the proofs were examined be-
fore the paper was made up, it was OBJ
served that Skaters initials were in
lower case type, and the proofreader
promptly marked them small cap,
meaning that they should be reset in
capitals of small size. The intelligent
oompositor supposed that the inscription
indicated some military title with which
he was unfamiliar, and instead of max
ing the proper correction substituted
Small Cap Shafter, and thus it ap
peared on the following morning
"Pecos Bill was mad enough to bite
nails when he saw the paper, but every
body else roared, and the title stuck to
him until the yarn was gradually for
gotten. 1t is still remembered, however.
by plenty of old timers -
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1898-11-15
Some Quaint Answers.

Irish domestics are widely noted TO
their simplicity and their quaint re
marks. A lady, desiring to make tn
most of her choice tap Of table beer, tn
merits Of which her servants had dis
covered, for it disappeared rapidly
thus addressed her Irish butler: 'Daly
what do you think would be the bes
thing to do in order to save this beer a
much as possible?" well, ma am, ;
replied the butler, ~ don't think yol
could do better than to place barrel O.
good strong ale close by the side of it. :
An Irish girl called at house IL
London III answer to an advertisement
for general servant Have you
character?" asked the mistress. I'm
deed, ma am, I'm sorry to say I've ne
character. had beautiful wan whir
l left Ireland, but | losht it the night
erased over to Holyhead in the steam
err" was the laconio reply.
An Irish manservant was discovered
in lie. On being accused by his mas
ter of stating what was not the truth,
he excused himself by saying, please
sur, lost my prisence of mind. LON
don Standard.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1898-11-15
Primitive Artillery.

AS to the character of the first instru-
ment for the throwing of missiles and
Just when it was invented we have no
certain knowledge, but it must have
been at an early date, for we read in
Genesis K, 9, that "Nimrod was a
mighty hunter before the Lord" and
surely the skill that has kept his name
In remembrance for thousands Of years
must have been gained by the use of
some surer weapon than the clubs or
stone knives Of primitive man.
Without doubt man early learned
how much execution can be done by a
we'll aimed stone, and attempts to hurl
it with greater force and accuracy
probably led to the invention of the
sling, one of the simplest as we'll as
most formidable of these early weapons
1t was long one of the principal instru-
ments of war among the ancients, and
the story of David and Goliath is good
illustration of what could be done by
one skilled in its use. This skill, how
ever, could be acquired only by early
and careful training.
In the Balearic islands, it is said, in
ancient times the parents suspended the
dinner of their boys upon poles and re-
quired them to bring it down with
slings before they were allowed to eat
-Lippincott' Magazine.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1898-11-15

The fierce July sun, though but a lit
tie past the northern meridian. beat
down upon me with oppressive warmth
Before me the warm, red brown land
scape wavered and trembled in the vel
low light. Behind me lowered the blind
ing white slope of the ice Beneath my
feet the stones were bare even of lichens
and had dry, gray look. as if they
were the bones of dead worlds And
yet felt that with SO much of warmth
and richness of coloring there must be
life, and, sure enough, hardly had
gone 100 yards from the edge of the ice
when beautiful little black and white
songster futtered up from behind 8
rock, lowered singing almost within
reach above my head and then settled
upon bleak stone but a few feet dis
tant to finish his merry song.
As l went on, numbers of these snow
buntings fitted about me, and hardly
had gone mile before my heart beat
quicker at the sight of traces Of musk
oxen. AS got farther away from the
ice and in the lee of the gigantic mo-
raines and tumuli of glacial debris,
flowers began to appear, purple and
white and yellow, among them my
ever present brilliant yellow friend, the
arctic poppy. = Peary's "Northward
Over the Great Ice. "
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1898-11-15
THE MYSTERY OF DREAMS.
What Can Fit Through n Mans
Brain In One Minute.

What Can Fit Through n Mans
Brain In One Minute.
1t is very certain that the majority Of
dreams are only of momentary duration,
though extended occasionally to the
length of minute.
In proof of this DIR. Sholz tells the
following story from his experience:
"After excessive bodily fatigue and a
day of mental strain of not disagree
able kind betook myself to bed after
had wound my watch and placed it on
the night table. Then lay down beside
burning lamp. Soon found myself on
the high sea on board we'll known
ship. l was again young and stood on
the lookout. / heard the roar of water,
and golden clouds foated around me.
How long stood so did not know, but
it seemed very long time.
"Then the scene changed. / was in
the country, and my long lost parents
came to greet me. They sent me to
church, where the loud organ sounded.
I was delighted, but at the same time
wondered to see my wife and children
there. The priest mounted the pulpit
and preached, but 1 could not under
stand what he said for the sound of the
organ, which continued to play. took
my son by the hand, and with him as
oended the church tower, but again the
scene changed. Instead of being near my
son I stood near an early known but
long dead officer. ought to explain
that was an army surgeon during the
maneuvers. / was wondering why the
major should look SO young, when quite
close to my ears cannon sounded.
Terrified, was hurrying off, when
/ woke up and noticed that the supposed
cannon shot had its cause in the opening
of the bedroom door, through some one
entering. 1t was as if had lived
through an eternity in my dream, but
when l looked at my watch 1 saw that
since had fallen asleep not more than
one minute had elapsed-a much shorter
time than it takes to relate the occur
renee. st. Louis Republic.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1898-11-15
Counterfeit Ivory.

Large quantities of articles made of
ivory having been put upon the market
at extremely reasonable prices led to
an investigation as to their source The
supply of ivory is SO limited that the
prices can scarcely be varied; therefore
there was evidence that something I'M
commercial was being done. 1t was
found that the fruit of variety of palm
was being utilized. This fruit has a
very hard and white kernel It can be
worked in lathe and is of such fine
quality that experts may be puzzled to
distinguish 1t from the genuine article.
It is susceptible to almost all uses to
which genuine ivory is put To detect
the difference, apply small quantity
of concentrated sulphurio acid. This
causes the imitation article to assume a
shade of pink, while on genuine ivory
it produces no change whatever.-New
York Ledger
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1898-11-15
One Walters Income.

Two handsome gentlemen passed by,
striking their heels ON the brick roof.
1.-The larger man is the keeper of the
wineroom, said Joe, the writer "The
thin one. dark and serious, is the
steward" They looked very important.
well, Joe, l suppose some day you
will be steward?" l ventured.
Steward? Why, have much su-
perior place as waiter, replied Joe con-
temptuously. would not give my pc.
sition for three of his Herr Boldt
pays his walters $50 a month in sum-
mer and $50 in winter They are per-
mitted to dine at the hotel free of cost
They average in tips S. a day. which.
with salary, gives them an income Of
$175 month. Their daily expenses for
dress, eto.-for they must look neat and
stylish-are about $1.50. New York
Presa
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1898-11-15
"On Fame's eternal camping ground
Their silent tents are spread,
And glory marks with solemn round
The bivouac of the dead"


On certain hot summer day cele-
brated naturalist entertained company
Of distinguished savants at dinner, al
the conclusion of which they all went
out in the garden.
In the center Of the grounds there
stood on pedestal a large glass globe.
One Of the guests happened to touch
this globe, and found, to his amaze
ment, that it was warmer on the shady
side than on the side turned to the sun.
He communicated his discovery to the
guests, who at once proceeded to verify
the statement.
What could be the cause?
An animated discussion ensued, in
the course of which every imaginable
law Of physics was made to account fol-
the strange paradox. At length oul
scientists agreed that it must be SC
owing to the laws of reflection, repul.
sion or exhalation or some other law Of
physics with long name.
The host was, however, not quite
convinced, and, calling the gardener,
he said to him:
"Pray tell us why the globe is warm
er on the shady side than on the side
turned to the sun?'
The man replied:
Because just now turned it round
for fear of it's cracking with the great
heat. London Tit-Bits.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1898-11-15
A DIPLOMATIC TRICK.
AN INCIDENT THAT PROVED THE CUM
MING OF BISMARCK.

The Roundabout Manner In Which
He Secured the Safe Transmission
of His Omcial Correspondence to
the Foreign ORce.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1898-11-15

A touching anecdote, associated with
picture in the National gallery at Ed.
inburgh, is told by an English lady in
her book, "Potpourri From a Surrey
Garden. She writes:
Several pictures stand out with pecul-
lar interest, especially the life sized
Gainsborough of the young Mrs. Ora.
hame. She sat for the picture as 6
bride, but before it came home she was
dead, and her husband had gone to the
wars.
When he came back, he never had the
courage to open the case which con.
tanned his young wife's portrait On his
death, many long years after it was
painted, it was opened by his heirs,
and inside the case was the little white
slipper she had left with the painter tc
help him to finish his picture.
The portrait was given to the Edin.
burgh gallery, and the slipper was kept
by the family
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1898-11-15
The Scal1Op.

The seallop aocomplishes locomotion
by series of leaps. When it is alarmed,
or wishes to change its location, II
opens and energetically closes its
valves, thus expelling the water. The
reaction shoots it backward By this
means the creature is able to travel long
distances. Sometimes scallops make
considerable journeys in large COM
panies. One can scarcely imagine q
lovelier sight than that of a flock OF
these pretty creatures, with shell of ev-
cry hue, from purple and white to black,
enlivened with shades of pink, yellow
and fawn, darting about in clear water
In their fiightlike movements, vertical,
horizontal and zigzag, they are more
suggestive of a flock of winged animals
than of bivalve mollusks
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1898-11-15

Maize slower in some form or other
is one of the most abundant foods in the
United States for all kinds of farm ami
mails. In some localities it almost ex-
cludes other forms of coarse feed, such
as timothy hay, clover, etc. This fod-
der is often fed in the coarse state with
out any preparation whatever. In this
condition very large percentage of 1t
is wasted, the cattle eating little except
the blades, and perhaps some Of the
smaller and tenderer parts of the stalk.
In the older parts Of the country 1t is
now becoming quite general to have the
maize slower finely shredded before be-
ing fed. This not only increases the
quantity which becomes available for
feed, but also leaves the manure In a
much better condition for spreading on
the field.
The general results of feeding expert
ments made with this product at the
Maryland and New York stations show
that as feed the slower is greatly in
creased in value by the removal Of the
pith, the pith being less digestible and,
on account of it's high absorptive prop,
critics, consuming too much of the gas
trio exoretions. There seems to be no
doubt of the fact that the feeding value
of the maize slower is very considerably
increased both by the removal of the
pith and by finely grinding the residual
shells of the stalks.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1898-11-15
FEATHERED BAROMETERS.
Sailors Warned by Them of a Com.
iDr Storm

ing Storm.
While a British brig was gliding
smoothly along before good breeze in
the south Pacific flock Of small birds
about the size, shape and color Of par
rakeets settled down in the rigging and
passed an hour or more of resting. The
second mate was so anxious to find out
the species to which the visiting stIan-
gers belonged that he tried to entrap
specimen, but the birds were too shy to
be thus caught and too spry to be seized
by the quick hands of the sailors. At
the end of about an hour the birds took
the briggs course and disappeared, but
toward nightfall they came back and
passed the night in the maintop.
The next morning the birds flew off
again, and when they returned at noon
the sailors scattered some food about
the decks. By this time the birds had
become SO tame that they hoped about
the decks, picking up the crumbs. That
afternoon an astonishing thing happen
ed. The flock came flying swiftly to-
ward the brig. Every bird seemed to be
piping as if pursued by some little in
visible enemy on wings, and they at
once huddled down behind the deck
house. The superstitious sailors at once
called the captain of the brig, who rub
bed his eyes and looked at the barome-
ter A glance showed that something
was wrong with the elements, and the
brig was put in shape to outride a
storm.
The storm came about 30 minutes
after the birds had reached the vessel.
For few minutes the sky was like the
waterless bottom of lake-a vast arch
of yellowish midland torrents of rain
fell. Why it did not blow very hard no
one knows, but on reaching port two
days later the captain learned that a
great tornado had swept across that part
of the sea. The birds left the vessel on
the morning after the storm and were
not seen again. Maryland Bulletin.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1898-11-15
Berlin variety Actresses.

Some curious statistics about Berlin
variety actresses have been collected by
the Borsencourier. There are 200 of
them, ranging in age from to AZ years
and earning from marks 100 cents) to
20 marks ($5) an evening. Only 40 be-
gan as 'chansonnette" singers, SO had
been milliners, % seamstresses, 10 gov
ernesses, 8 schoolteachers, 10 bookkeep-
ers, Is saleswomen, maids of all
work, 10 working girls and 4S had been
on the stage as actresses, chorus singers
or ballet girls. Among them were SO
married women, "a widows and 80 di-
vorced or abandoned wives. Sixty three
out of the 200 worked regularly at va
rious occupations during the day, be-
sides singing at night in the cafe chan
tant.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1898-11-15
A CITY NIGHT.

Come, let us forth and wander the rich,
the murmuring night,
The sky blue dusk of summer trembles
above the street,
On either side uprising glimmer houses
pale,
But me the turbulent bubble and voice of
crowds delight
For me the wheels make music, the
mingled cries are sweet.
Motion and laughter call; we hear, we
will not fail.
For see, in secret vista, with soft, retiring
stars
With clustered suns. that stare upon
the throng below,
With pendant dazzling moons, that cast a
MONDAY white,
The full streets beckon. Come, for toll
has burst his bars,
And idle eyes rejoice, and feet unhasting
go.
Oh, let US out and wander the gay and
golden night.
Lawrence Binyon in New York Tribune
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1898-11-15
IN A HAMMOCK sHRoup.

When my turn comes, dear shipmates all
Oh, do not weep for mel
Wrap me in my hammock tight
And put me into the sea,
For it's no good weeping
When a shipmate's sleeping
And the long watch keeping
At the bottom of the sea.
But think of me sometimes and say,
HE did his duty righa
And strove the best he knew to please
His captain in the fight.
But it's no good weeping
When shipmate's sleeping
And the long watch keeping
Through the long, long night.
And let my epitaph be these words:
Cleared from this port alor.e,
A craft that was stanch and sound and true
Destination unknown.
And it's no good weeping
When shipmate's sleeping
And the long watch keeping
All alone, all alone.
And mark this WE'LL my shipmates dear,
Alone the long night through,
Up there In the darkness behind the stars
I'll look out sharp for you.
80 it's no good weeping
When shipmate's sleeping
And the long watch keeping
All the long night through.
Barrett Eastman in Chap Book.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1898-11-15
Most of us believe we could give Provi-
dence hints well worth consideration.

A mans health is the rope by which he
climbs to success. If he can keep his
health, he will go on to success. Yet his
health is the very thing he neglects more
than anything else. 1t is easier to keep
health than it is to regain it. When a
man feels himself running down, when he
realizes loss of vitality and energy, he
must call halt The strands of his rope
are parting rapidly. DR.. Pierce's Golden
Medical Discovery has helped thousands
of men just in this condition. 1t makes
health, it makes pure, rich blood, it forces
out impurities and kills germs. 1t doesn't
make any difference what name you call
your trouble by-dyspepsia-kid kidney dis
ease - rheumatism - consumption - skin
disease, the Golden Medical Discovery
will cure it absolutely. None of these
diseases can retain hold on the body when
it is full of rich, pure blood
Send 81 one-cent stamps to cover cost of
mailing only, and receive free copy OF
Dr. Pierce's Medical Adviser. Address,
Worlds Dispensary Medical Association,
Buffalo, n Y
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1898-11-15

The greater number of cases are tried
before judges without juries, and the
occupants of the bench are accustomed
to resent an eloquent appeal as some
thing in the nature of an insult to their
mental powers.
"Do you think to soften my heart, -
sarcastically asked a we'll known chan
Gerry judge when member of the equity
bar, making rare attempt at rhetoric,
drew pathetic picture of his clients
wrongs.
"My lord" replied the counsel, who
who at once recognized the failure OF
his appeal, but was quick to find success
in his retort, II know it is impossible.
London Globe.