davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-10-29
THE ROYAL BOX.

Godfrey of Bouillon's castle in the Ar
dennes is to be restored at the expense Of
King Leopold of Belgium.
The emperor II empress of Russia will
receive their friends at tho 1900 exhibition
in Paris in a pavilion of their own. The
plan has been submitted to them, and the
estimated cost of the building is goo 900.
Princess Beatrice, the youngest daugh-
ter of the queen, has blossomed forth as an
authoress, not of a novel, nor yet as the
creator of an opera, but of n semileligious
work entitled Consolation In Suffering:
Fruits of the Reading of a Mourner."
Royal approval has been set on skirt
dancing. Queen Victoria has permitted
her two granddaughter, Princess Eva of
~Battenberg and Princess Alice OF Albany
TO learn. Princess Marguerite OF Con
naught recites comic pieces TO her, while
Prii,ce Leopold of Battenberg cheers her
up with comic songs and dances.
Archduchess Elizabeth of Austria, the
daughter of the late Crown Prince Ru-
dolf, is now 10 years Of age. She will in
herit the greater portion of her grandpa
theirs private estate. Apart from the saw
ings of 30 years from his yearly allowance
Of 9, 800, 900 1orins, Emperor Francis Jo-
seph inherited 200, 900, 600 forms worth of
property from his uncle and predecessor,
Emperor Ferdinand |.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-10-29
Sweeping Conditions,

"While he's about it,, said Uncle 81
Badger to the boys at the corner store.
Il van tn president to make them
peace conditions jest as swecpin an as
bindin as possible. 'Tain't alone a ques-
ton Of tixin up ownership Of islands
Or Of coalin stations, but it's a good
chance as well to improve Spain's gen
raj moral condition, what there Is of
it. We've got tn clamps on tn Span
iards, an | look to William to squeeze
'em good. 'Tain't their money we're
after. They need it a dern sight more'n
we do. But when tn other pints is
fixed up we must make 'em swear off
on Sunday bullfightin an on lyin an
boastin an on Weyler an
on measly pride an on eatin garlic.
Wen be apt to make decent citizens of
them dons afore we get entirely through
with 'em. cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-10-29

that fiat. endless expanse which fades
off unmoved and unhroken to the limits
of vision-but it is the desert. neverthe-
less, Just as much as the mountain
nows of the Tar north are a part of the
great arctic sea of ice. Beyond. how.
ever, is the great plain itself, its swell
ing undulations hardly relieving to the
eye the appearance Of absolute fairness
which the picture offers.
The truth is, the Sahara presents
itself i'll n double aspect, that of the fiat
and sandy plain and that of the rocky
ridge or mountain, the Hammada. Ii is
the Hammada that is more particularly
dreaded by the caravans for among
their wind swept crags there are few
GASES, and only the blowing sands and
a relentless III are the companions of
the fOotsore pilgrim. In many parts of
the fiat desert travelling is moderately
easy, for over long distances the surface
has become coated into a hard, Shiny
crust-a solid basement rock, one may
call it. Along our route of travel there
were no sand dunes OF any magnitude,
the highest perhaps scarcely exceed
ing 10 or 20 feet, hut l was informed by
the distinguished French explorer, NJ.
Foureaud, who was then stopping at
Biskra, that beyond Tugeurt they rise
to the prodigious height of from /, 200
to /, 400 feet. This speaks even more
eloquently for the power of the winds
than do the high tossed sands of coral
islands,-Popular Science Monthly.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-10-29

Eve probably had TO he created be-
cause she gave Adam such a pain in his
side.
The less important "A thing a girl gets
a telegram about the more important il
makes her feel.
When a baby cries, Il woman always
thinks 1t Is hungry and Il man that
there are pins sticking into it.
The average man won't believe that
ne is IN heaven till he finds that there
are really no fly screens there.
No woman is thought much Of among
the other women till she has had at
least three sickmesses when all her hair
came out.
The women talk Il lot about being
"wooed, - but what they like best is "a
mar with II big club to knock them
down and carry them ofT.-New York
Press.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-10-29
CLEO'S THRIFTY MOTHER.
Washed and Ironed the Dancers Clothes
aud Walked Miles For Twenty Cents.

Washed and Ironed the Dancers Clothes
aud Walked Miles For Twenty Cents.
The parsimony of foreign celebrities
who come to thi. country has been fire.
quently amusing to Americans. There
have been some very striking instances
OF it III recent years, but the mother Of
Mile. Cleo de Merode seems to have car
ried off the palm i'll this respect. Sal
VIM, it is said, was so penurious that he
bought Il sandwich Oh the street for 3
cents rather than pay for his supper at
a hotel, and one of the stories told about
him ON his last visit to this country was
that once in Philadelphia he gave the
porter of a hotel IA penny and told him
to buy him three tacks. The actor had
discovered that his trunk was damaged,
and he wanted to repair it himself.
Tamaqua wa notorious here for his
stinginess. 1t was said that he sold the
tickets sent 10 him in view of his artists
privilege and hired his own brother as q
valet because he could be got at a cheap
Inquire Then he used 10 make him roll
ms trunks around OH a truck at the for
eign custom houses rather than pay the
porters a fee for the work. Herr Van
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-10-29
LONG MAILS.
Time of Letters From New York to Far.
away Destinations.


A letter sent from New York to Bang
kok, Siam, travels overland to San
Francisco and thence by water, reach
ing its destination in about 43 DAYS.
having been carved nearly Is, 900 miles.
A letter mailed hero for Adelaide, Aus
tralia, also goes via San Francisco,
travels IL, $40 miles and is delivered
usually within s. days. New York mail
destined for Calcutta goes by way of
London, travelling IL, 100 miles in 30
days, while mail sent from this CITY to
Cape Town, goes 125 miles farther in
two days less time.
Mail communication between New
York and HOngkong ordinarily con-
sumes IL month Of time. The letters
go by way of San Francisco and cover
10, 800 miles of distance. To reach Mel
bourne. Australia, from this city Il let
ter will travel 10, 265 miles in about 80
days. and to reach Sydney a letter will
travel 1850 miles in ~ days. The
mail route from New York to Yoke
hama, via San Francisco, is T,34S miles
long, and about % days are consumed
81 tithSiN' IL ~ w llOuOluIu lIbIi tulS
city a letter travels j, 645 miles in IS
days.
Leaving New York on steamer days,
mail matter is scheduled to reach Rome
in about ten days, Madrid in ten days,
London and Liverpool in eight days,
Rotterdam i'll nine days, st. Petersburg
in ii days, Vienna i'll nine days, Paris
i'll eight days, Berlin i'll nine days and
Athens and Alexandria in IA days,
Communication with South American
ports is much slower. 1t takes "a days
for a letter to go from New York to Rio
Janeiro, which is only about so miles
farther from this city than is Alexan-
dria. Mail matter going from New
York to Buenos Ayres, which is s ,O45
miles distant, consumes 20 or 30 days.
New York Times.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-10-29
CHINESE SHOES.
The Comfort and He~altbfulness of W eel
straw Sandals,

straw Sandals.
81 may seem to be quarrelin, tn
my bread and butter, said an up WI
chiropodist to one of his best customers
the other day, "but in my humble and
somewhat professional opinion, the most
sensible of all men in the matter of foot
wear is the Chinaman. Did you ever
notice his feet? | don't believe there is
such a thing as a corn or a bunion in
all China. Chiropodists would starve
to death there so far as the requirements
of the masculine foot are concerned.
Whatever tae deformities inflicted on
the feet Of women in China may be, the
men certainly enjoy sound and comfort
able understandings. Look at the Chi
nese laundrymen here in Washington.
They stand at their work IS hours q
day. No class of workingmen I know of
spend $ o many hours on their feet as
they do. Yet they never break down
there, and, physically, they are a won
derfully healthy race.
Simple living and freedom from the
nervous pursuits of our civilization may
have something to do with it, but l at
tribute their exemption from foot weak.
ness and disease to the kind of house
shoe so universally worn by them. l
have a pair that | have worn for several
years, and [ wouldn't wear anything
else for genuine indoor comfort. They
are woven of straw and seaweed and
soled with horse hide. There is a thick
sole of straw above the leather, and
through this the air can circulate free
ly, keeping the muscles of the under
part OF the foot always cool. The laun-
drymen, you notice, are usually bare
foot, which is an added advantage in
the matter of healthfulness. There is
about as little material in the uppers as
is consistent with the idea of a shoe,
and this is just enough to keep the
thing on the foot. This upper, too, is
woven loosely of seaweed, so that the air
can have access to the foot. Nowhere
does this shoe pinch or in the least de-
gree press the foot.
"'These are the indoor shoes of the
Chlnaman. On the street here in the
United States nowadays he wears very
commonly the leather shoes or boots of
bi "a liibIuldCtuIt Lldt Is OlS OL
the ways i'll which he is becoming
Americanized. But the outdoor cloth
shoe OF China is a great deal worn also.
That, like the indoor shoe, is very thick
II soft i'll the sole, and the foot is
never pinched or strained by it. The
healthlest footgear ever known proba-
bly, was the sandal of the Greeks. 1t
had no upper, and, as you will see in
%statuary, the feet Of men and women
were ideally perfect. All the sandal af-
forded was a protection from the ground.
To him who wears sandals, say the
Arabs, sit is as if the world were shod
with leather The Chinaman seems to
follow out this motto, and his shoes are
nearly soles and nothing more. But the
great secret of the excellence of his in
door shoe is the half inch straw sole. "
-WaShineton Star.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-10-29
He Held His Own,

"For goodness sake, Mary" asked
the young lady's mother at breakfast,
what was the matter with you and
Harry in the parlor last night?''
why, mamma. What" inquired
the daughter demurely.
why, You rowed and quarreled for
half an hour like u pair of maniacs."
"Oh!" she replied, remembering the
circumstances. Harry wanted me tC
take the big chair, and l wanted him tc
take 1T because he was company, you
know"
We'll, what did you quarrel about"
I'VE didn't quarrel, mamma, only he
insisted hat | should take it, and |
wouldn't"
"How did you settle il finally?"
well, mamma, we-we-we com.
promised, and both of us took it. -
Tit Bits.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-10-29

But O'Houlihan, instead Of shaking
hands or acknowledging in any way the
introduction, gazed at Smith with an
air Of alcoholic hostility.
Him Oirish T. he suddenly cried with
vehement contempt. Him wild them
pink whiskersl G'wanl He's Dootch,'
Whereupon Smith Immediately
Knocked him down. The hystanders
rushed forward, some eager to witness
the row, others to stop it, but O'Houli-
han rose from the ground and proceeded
to shake hands with Smith in Il most
hearty and torgiving manner
"Oi beg yer par-rdon, ~ he said with
much humility. "Oi did yez an inioos-
tice. Yer OiriSh.'-New York Journal.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-10-29
Neatly Caught.

A certain Greek adventurer some
years ago undertook TO palm off upon
the public some false copies of the Cos,
pei manuscripts. Many learned men
We're deceived, but not DR.. Coke, libra
rian OF the Bodleian library at Oxford.
How he detected the fraud is related in
his W words in The Spectator:
l eve really opened the book, but !
held it in my hand and took one page
of it between my finger and thumb
while l listened to the rascal's account
Of how he found this most interesting
antiquity.
At the end of three or four minutes !
handed it back to him with the short
comment, Nineteenth century paper,
my dear sir, and he took it away in a
hurry and did not come again.
Yes, / was pleased, but I have han
died several ancient manuscripts in my
time, and know the feel of old paper.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-10-29
PENALTY OF GREATNESS.

The penalty of greatness comes
When first his leafy laurels
Irvine round the hero's head. With fam'
Herself he all bur quarrelS
What time he sees remutest kin
Confront HMM the papers
With tales of how he rut his teeth
And all his hoyish capcrs
He sees his youthful csrapades
In plain cold type paradcd:
He secs the sacred shrine Of home,
OF joy and grief invaded;
BE stands upon a pedestal
In the full glare of glory
And half repents him tina for fame
He made SO fierce "A f9ray.
He never knew the woods were full
OF uncles, aunt and cousins,
But since he's famous-lo, from all
Directions, by the dozens,
They rush to claim him, though was he
Or dead or still alive, it
Occurred to nom TO ask when he
Stood IN the ranks a private.
oh, once a man arrives he finds
The world il there TO greet himi
The rich and great, who held alon,f
When fate seemed to defeat him.
Now gather round and grasp his hand,
And mid their a~cclamations
The hero's recognized and run
To earth by his relations!
Boston Globe.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-10-29
True Courtesy.

General Robert +. Lee was in the cars
going to Richmond one day and was
seated at the end farthest from the door.
The other seats were filled with officers
and soldiers. An old woman, poorly
dressed, entered at one of the stations,
and finding no seat, and having none Of
fered to her, approached the end where
the general was seated. He Immediately
rose and gave her his seat.
Instantly there wa a general rising,
each one offering his seat to the general.
But he calmly said:
mo, gentlemen, if there was no seat
for the infirm old woman, there can be
nome for me.
The effect was remarked. One after
another got out of the car. The seats
seemed to be too hot for them, and the
general and the old lady soon had the
car to themselves.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-10-29

Biene marked as a curiosity and sent
back TO England a hotel bill of fare ON
which he had marked the price. 81. )
for a tenderloin steak as one of the won.
ders of an extravaganza and youthful
country. 1t may have been nothing
more than good business Judgment
which prompted Mile. Calve to look for
q business manager while she was here
and then express the greatest astonish-
ment that such an assistant of the most
Capable kind could not he hired for $40
"A week.
These are some of the stories told
about the highly paid foreigners who
cone to exhibit themselves here. But
Cleo's mother holds the record. 1t is
said that she astonlshed the servants at
tho Imperial hotel by washing her
daughters clothes i'll the bathtub and
ironing them herself. On the day before
they returned to Europe the ballerina
and her mother were seen on lower
Broadway. They had gone down to one
h the exchange offices in order to get
800 i'll French money. Ii was raining.
An acquaintance met the two Just as
they were coming out of the Office.
why, that wretch inside ex-
claimed the mother Indignantly. wants
to give me only 5l7 francs for 800"
Then Nine. Ia Mere de Cleo de Merode
put up her umbrella with a mighty ein
phasis and stepped out Oh to the side
walk. why, a man offered me 51S up
town. But L thought l could get $40
down here. Now we shall have to walk
up town, for otherwise there will be no
profit left for us. Then Cleo and her
mother started to trudge up town. The
dancer received 20, 600 for her appear
ances here. New York Sun.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-10-29
THE MAANIMAH.
a Wonderful Parrot or India which, the
Natives Claim. Thinks.

- W. w W fft'ts NV
Natives Claim. Thinks.
A little bird i'll town did IA surprising
thing the other day, though that is the
middle of the story. The first of the
story il that IA woman who had lived
many years in India and who has u love
for all things Indian was walking along
the street and saw in the window IF Il
bird store Il green parrot with red spots
III its wings.
THAT bird, : she said to herself.
''canle from India. | will go in and
speak with it. Perhaps it speaks the
ye1nacular.'
So she went in and spoke to it in the
verDacular Of India.
"Do you speak the language" she
said. 1t is the ommon question which
the people ak Of "a parrot in the land
from which the bird came. But the
creature made no answer 1t stared at
her with dull eyes and was not inter
ested. Still She persisted.
Come, she said. "SrTely You speak
the language: What do You want: Are
you hungry: Is poor Polly lonesome
away OF here? Come. come, you speak
the language"
Still the bird made no answe but
from away back III the dusk of the room
came a clear little bird voice III Hindoo-
stance:
IL speak the language. l also, | speak
It,"
The birdseller did not notice the cry.
1t IL merely the chattering Of a foolish
little bird Ia him. But the woman who
loved India said
"Where is that Bird
ITS back there, y said the bird seller
pointing to a remote corner. So the VIC
man went there, and in an old cage .hc
found n neglected looking mahnimal,.
standing erect on its perch, all its feath.
ers ruttied, looking this way and that
as it quivered with excitement. This
bird Of all talking birds is the most
~onderful-nay, III India they main.
tain that it thinks. 1t learns, in fact,
the tongue of the people. they say, and
does not speak by rOte, hut it %converses.
At any rate the mahnimah cried:
81 speak the language. l speak it,
Here | am, brother, - cried the wo.
man II am one who speaks it too.
The bird fixed one sharp eye on Der.
"You are little" he said disdaintul-
ly, putting his head down in his feath.
ers to indicate how little she was.
"You are little, bur [ am large and
then he stood erect with his head
thrown back and looked down on her.
1t said other things, too, while the
bewildered bird seller stood by and lis.
tened, astonished that the bird had any
value or that amy one conld understand
it.
How much will you take for the
bird?'' asked the woman.
Twenty dollars said the MAJ
The price had gone up i'll the last ten
minutes.
Where did you get it,
"A sailor brought it here, and | bought
1t of him. He had come from New York
and was going to San Francisco. He
Faid he was tired of Juggling it over the
country"
HE must have come from some place
where there are Lascars.
Il do not know. Will you take the
bird, ma 'am?'
But the woman could not afford that,
80 she called back:
"Salaam, little brother"
"Salaan, - said the bird. Chicago
(Ubrouiclo
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-10-29
A New Title.

Two young men were talking in front
Of the city hall.
"Say, said one, isn't that a green
appearing fellow? He doesn't look as if
he had been in town since the centen-
NAL of 1876"
Eyes, said the other youth. "He
looks like a Ladrone."
Like a what?"
ga Ladrone."
whats a Ladronee"
"a Ladrone is a fellow who never
reads a newspaper, gets no mail and
knows no more of what's going on in
the world than a 2 months babe. That's
a Ladrone. "~--Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-10-29
MEMORIES.

The heart grows sad sometimes when strange
hands waken
A strain, a melody of other days,
And backward through the past the mind goes
s~traying
Till heartsttings snap in twain on which he
plays.
1 walked today along the village highway,
A sunny head was barred, a form bent low
All, with a pang it brought to me sweet mem
'ries
Of one so like him in the long agol
But bitter sweet, the memories that awaken
The love that filled each heart was never told,
For both of us We're proud, and /, so fearful
My secret should be known, was silent, cold.
All, well, the same old tale, 30 oft repeated.
l knew not that he loved me-ah, you smile
Twas after years ! learned il, but he never,
Never knew 1 loved him all the while.
Rose Van b. Speece.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-10-29
Easily Managed.

Scene-Editor's sanctum. Printer
Crushing in excitedly)-Here's a go!
Johnson, the murderer, has just been
found innocent, and the government
has telegraphed Il pardon. We've got
the whole account of the hanging set
up, with illustrations, and the form is
on the press.
Editor tcoolly)-Don't get excited,
man. just put over the account in large
capitals: johnson Pardoned. Full Ac-
oount of What He Escaped Pear
sons Weekly.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-10-29
Didn't Want to BE Left Ont.

Don't say the Aston battery is full,
sir. I've come all the way from the
west to join 'em."
Tim sorry, butt
I'm just as good Il specialist as any
of the athletic freaks, sir. / know you
you've got footballers in tho ranks and
baseballers and golfers and tennis
players and sprinters, but you haven't
got a soul i'll my line; no, sir"
And may | ask what your line is?''
Certainly you may. I'm the cham.
pion pie eater of the Wabash, sir. Look
at my medals. - Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-10-29

Dribbler-In my opinion a man who
writes an illegible hand does it because
he thinks people are willing to puzzle
owe it. in other words, he is a chunk
of conceit.
Scribbler-Not always. Sometimes IA
man writes illegibly not because he is
conceited, but because he is modest.
Dribblcr-Modest! What about?
Scribbler-About his spelling. -Bos-
ton Traveller.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-10-29

Temperance Mainly friend, what l
want You to do is TO throw your whisky
bottle into the sea.
Old Toper-I did that once, but the
waves floated it back TO me, and / said
TO myself if the laws of nature worked
that way | wasn't TO blame for taking
the bottle again, and
Temperance Man-Ah, but the bottle
you threw away was empty Throw 1t
into the sea when the bottle is full Of
whisky, and you'll find the laws of ma
ture are all right.-New York Weekly.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-10-29
WAR VICTIM.
The Sad Fate of One Of Our Old Fayo

The sad Fate of One of Our Old Favor
ties.
He seemed so wan, so pitiful, as he
leaned YEARLY against tho hot, unsym
pathetic wall.
His clothes were rags, through which
peeped sharp bones, striving, it appear
ed, to break the tight stretched skin that
covered them.
His face was white and drawn, his
eyes hollow with hunger.
| approached and asked his trouble.
ALIAS, kind sir, he moaned, II am
beyond the aid of man. Though | still
live, ! am dead to the world-dead as a
blooming doornail.
He wiped away a half pint tear and
continued:
And / was 30 popular, SO we'll
known, but ~ few short months ago. I
was sought after by the tickle herd.
They couldn't get enough of me. Even
You, sir, have seen me many times ia
my prosperity, but now l am not even
the faintcst memory to you. All, how
hard is my lot,'
"But what has brought you to thisg"
/ asked.
"The war" he screamed in sudden
rage, that accursed, all absorbing,
bloodthirsty wa with Spain 1t has
ruined me-wholly, ir~retrievably ruin
ed me"
Poor, poor fellow" | said. "And
who are you:'
His great, sorrowtul eyes searched
my face for some CLEAN of recognition.
None was there. lie sobbed aloud:
"I-I-l-am-the-oh, OIL"
"The what" ] gently murmured.
I'LL am the-the Klondike
Joke - he cried and sank lifeless at my
feet. And then ] woke up.-Yim.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1898-10-29

Observation-Disclosures don't seem to de.
crease this spring, in spite of the war.
Masbrook-No, but it's economy, you
see.
Karson-Economy? I don't see that
a little bit.
Masbrook-Why, a iancee drags a
man to Saratoga or the Adirondacks for
a month to spend a barrel of money
while a chair OH the front stoop and an
occasional roof garden satisfy a wife.
Town Topics.