Sequachee Valley news. (Sequachee [Sequatchie], Tenn.) 1896-1952, 1898-01-06
One Christmas Dinner.

Pikeville, Tenn, Dec. 81 had
the pleasure the other day Of being
present at dinner given by a prom
inent physician Of this place. say |
! had the pleasure; but it has been
question in my mind ever since as to
which had the predominancs, pleas
ure or pain. Certain it is. that there
we're a great many pleasant thingt
about the affair The turkey for in
stance, and a. for the salad and pud-
ding, why they were above reproach,
away above reproach, out of sight in
fact. In addition to the pleasure OF
the turkey and The salad and the
pudding, there sat on my right a
Young lady, whose charms | will not
undertake to describe. Suffice it TO
say, glance at her was all that was
necessary to set the heart to thump-
ing away with a rapidity and VIC
lence fit to shame the strokes Of a
prize fighter.
That is in what lay the pleasure;
now let me tell you of the pain. Tne
unfortunate writer was, as everybody
knows, raised on farm and is Who'll
ly unacquainted with the rules of Ell
quette. And he knows 1t. As it
happened there was but one other
unmarried person, besides myself,
present, aud she was the young lady,
the sight of whom gave me violent
fit of the thumps. And 1t also hap
pened when dinner was announced
that mine hostess said to me: "Mr.
Melville, you may take Miss Mich
OILS out to dinner" Good God
Lightning struck the house | was in
once, but assure you the lightning
did not give me such shock AS Cx-
periSnced when those awful words
fell from the lips of mine hostess
What was | to do? | had never
taken anybody out tnpdinner except
myself, (Which was not a very diff
cult thing to do and | had never
seen anybody perform that task
/ knew no more what to do thar
does the man who has just beer
thrashed by bis wife. Should | TAKE
her arm, or should she take mine
Should | bow or should / not? Va
rlous mad plans Of escape presente,
themselves to my bewildsred brain
| prepared to bolt for the door, bu
discovered that to be imprscticabl'
as my rear was closely pressed b.
the other guests, who had gotten
scent from the kitchen and wer,
ravished with delightful antlcipa
tons and clsmoring for me TO NOV,
on. tried vainly to become lnvls
ible, to vanish in cloud of smoke
TO sink through the floor, to fly on
through the roof, and TO do man,
other such very rational things.
E At last, seeing no way OF making
my escape, l made desperate reso
luton to make an effort. SO | bow
ed to the young lady, and she bowed
/ grinned and she grinned. l sand
"Come on" and she came. And to
gether we walked into the dinin,
, room. She was in a state of IRE
pressible amusement: / was in
state of utter confusion, from whicI
/ never fully recovered TIL next morn
ing. ! have a vague remembrance
of having passed her the pickles, an,
of having said:
Lovely Miss Grace Nichols,
Will you have some pickles."
/ do not remember what the ans
wer was, for was so overwhelmed
by realization of my poetieal pow
erS that l relapsed int deeper con
fusion than ever. have never reel
the young lady since, but if she doe
not 60 deranged for excessive laugh
ter, l shall feel thankful.
ToN MELVILLE.
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