The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1898-07-08
a PIcNIc IN TINTomN.
one which ssDe Lord Doan seem Tel
yProre or

The little church in TintOWn was 90
ing to give a picnic TO raise money TO
pay OF Elder Tidings- There had been
meetings Of committee for a solid week
arranging as to where the flock should
90, and as to what each should furnish,
and as to who should be managerial
chief Of the affair. Some suggested that
they should have a fatboat and 60 up
to Towhead island, and others said:
''No, wen des walk up de river till we
gifts hongry 'nuff ter eat an den drap
down" whats de matter wild hayin'
It right hyar to home in our own
clutch? % said Rev. jenkins.
Oats de very thing" exclaimed
chorus Of voices.
1t was finally arranged that each
woman who attended the church picnic
was to take a weu-flled basket, covered
with heavy paper, card inside bearing
her name. The baskets were to go to
the highest bidder, and the purchaser
was to eat with the good sister, that
brought the basket. All Of the darkys
in Tintown were at once caught with
the spirit OF the scheme, and arrange
ments were begun at once, and what
preparations they began to make fOrit.
It is hard TO beat a southern darby
when it comes to cooking, and cakes,
pies, chicken and other good things
began to find their way into the bas-
kets.
The night for the picnic at last came
around, and the little tin church was
thrown open for tn occasion Uncle
Mosby, piOus looking old deacon, was
selected to sell the baskets. Uncle
Mosby always looked pious when there
was anything going on around the
meeting house, but Uncle Mosby had
been in Jail once for taking a sack of
meal from a mill door.
Darkys old and young, children and
all, came crOwding into the church.
Such laughing and moving up to the
pulpit where the baskets were to be
sold. Uncle MOsby arose, and as he
waved his hand for silence said:
''Dis byar picnic is fer de ben'ft Nv
de clutch, de cOOkin' is garanteed,
highest bidder gifts de grub, cash down,
mine yo'."
An old negro at this point arose and
said that he would cut a white cake
with ring inside, IS cents cash down,
and the ring guaranteed.
The first basket brought 20 cents, but
Uncle Mosby gave them to understand
that no more would go at that price.
The bidding became better. 1t was
just here that a new feature was intro
duced. Jim Drake, a drunken steam
boat rouster, came in, displaying 81 OF
IS, and began to bid. An old sister bt
the name Of Jane Lanem, yelled out:
HE carn't eat wild me-
Several others made this same state
ment but Jim held his ground, and said:
my money is des as good as anybody's
money"
''Yo' money is Satin's money! yelled
Aunt Jane.
Eyes, an yo'd like ter hav' OF Satin
plaster'd all over yo'l'' said Jim.
Uncle Mosby waved his hand and said:
"Dis hyar picnic am gwine ter be run
on principals Nv resPec', an bein' yer
amt in no respectubuI cOndishun, Jim,
20 can't buy no grub
''Ize jes er bout as 'specterbuI ez 20
wuz when yo' stale dat sack er meal,
70 OF lynn hiPPercrit."
Uncle AIOsby went for him, and
squashed a basket over his head. Chick
IN ana pop new IN every direction
and four or five Joined in the fracas. The
women yelled and some one turned out
The lights. Jim, the rouster, escaped in
the darkness, and took a basket with
him as he went, and when an old negro
struck a match Uncle AIosby and Elder
Jenkins were fighting over in a corner,
each thinking that the other was jim
When peace was restored it was dis
covered that seven baskets were miss
Ing, and that the cake with the gold
ring was also gone.
No one knew where they had gone.
Uncle MOsby slowly pinned the col
lar Of his shirt, scratched his head, and
said:
$50 fur ez lie concern'd de picnic is
adjOurn'd. lie Lawd doan seem ter
prov Nv 'em jes now
Reaching for one of the large bas-
kets he started for the door, saying:
Peace on urth-gOOd viii ter men.
Goodnight. Louisville Dispatch.