The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1898-12-24
PrCKwICkIAN HoBsoNIANA.

| ITOheOn that in the various klsslhs OF oies
in which he has recently figured some
of the women kissed him and he kissed
some Of them" has a distinct PiclSwickian
smack" 1t Will be recalled that on
| certain occasion in the garden Of Mr.
! WaDlIe Mr.. Tupman and Miss Rachel
Wardle held a symposium under the hs
tree. Mr.. Tupman had made ancctonate
overturcs towards the lady at his side,
who in turn had coquotishly remarked
that "men are such deceivers." Mr.. Tup-
man generously admitted the soft i'm
parchment OF the sex I'm general, but pro-
tested that there We're honorable eXceD-
tons There lives at least one being
said he. "who can never change-one be-
ing who would be content TO devote his
whole existence to your happiness-who
lives but I'm your eyes, who breathcs but
In your smiles who bears the heavy bur
den of life itself only for you
We quote these beautiful words in fun,
as they may come in handy, at this sea-
son or love-making to some Of our young
er readers. But to proceed. Miss War
die demanded Of Mr. TupmaH II such an
individual could be found TO which Mr..
Tupman enthusiastically replied. "llc Is
found. lie is here. Miss Wardlc,' and
Mr. Tupman dropped uDon his knees.
Miss Rachel insisted upon his rising. but
Mr.. Tupman declared that he would never
rise until assured Of her love. Thereupon
Miss Rachel automatically hinted that
Mr. Tupmm was mot altogether mdif-
fcrent 10 her." and there was subse-
quent proceeding in the line Of which Mr..
IIobson so loves to indulge.
IT must not be inferred. however. that
this OSCILLATION was in any sense patri-
otto demonstration. or that it was in
tended for a public spectacle. Far from
it. 1t was hoped and believed hy the
lovers that no one. save' the ever present
cupid had witnessed this sacred avowal
with it's accompanying demonstration
But there had been a witness Joe the
fat boy. who was never known before 10
DE awake long enough to witness any oc-
currence. had been I'm the garden at a
most inopportme time and had become so
fascinated with the episode which we
have narrated that he kept both his eyes
and his ears open from beginning 90 cnd
and for once took an interest fin "a living
happening. Indeed Joe was positively
entertained and interested. so much so
that he determined to condlc what he
had soon TO his mistress. and BE- did so
i'm most dramatic fashion. The first
time that he found a convenient OF por-
tunity. he approached her with an air Of
mystery. which the old lady construed
into an air of mischief and became gem
ujuofy alarmed. The rest Of tho story
shall De tod in the authors own words.
We quote:
.Nissus"' shouted the fat boy
.tVcH Joe. said the tremblios 80 lady.
I'm sure ! have been "a good mistress 10
you Joe. You have inylr.taly fecn
treated very kindly You have never had
too much TO do: and you nave always had
enough 10 cat"
This last was am appeal 20 tho fat boy
most sensitive feelings. lie seemed
touched as me replied emphaticaly:
81 knows 1 has. o,
..rbcu what can you want TO DO now
said the old lady gaining courage.
Il wants TO make your ilcsn creep re-
piled the boy O..
mis- sounded like a blood,hirs.y mode
of showing ones gratitude. ana as tho
old lady did not precisely understand the
process boy which such result was 10
be- attained. all her former horrors re-
turned
"What do you think 7 see ln This very
arbor last night?' inquired the BOY.
"Bless us, What?" exclaimed the old
lady. alarmed at the solemn manner or
the corpulcnt youth
"The strange gcRtlemaH-him as had
his arm hurt-a kissin' and hueein'-
"Who. Joe2 None of the servants, l
hope"
"Worser than that" roared the TAT boy
In the old iadys ear
Not one ID my erand-da' ators?'
"Worser than that"
"Ivorse than that. joe" said the ola !
lady who had thought this the extreme |
limit Of human atrocity VINO "a ~ |
Joe2 ] insist upon knowing
The fat boy looked cautiously round !
and having concluded his survey, shouted
In tho old lady's ear:
Miss Rachel"
"What-" said <he old lady in a shrill |
tone Speak louder"
Miss Rachel" roared The fat boy
MY da'atcr?'
The train NJ mods which the RAT boy |
gave by way Of assent communicated a |
ike motion 70 his fat cheeks |
and she suffered him. exclaimed The !
old lady.
4 grin stole over the fat boys features |
as ho said
81 see her "a kissin' of him 600"
Rcgnrocity is much older than the late
MIR. Blaine